#and then i was like why do i fear being misunderstood so much or being incorrect about something why am i scared of being wrong | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fullsunstrawberry · 6 months

Text

Love Beyond Labels

synopsis: the misunderstood "rich girl," reveals her academic struggles to a loner with his own challenges. In an unexpected twist, they form a unique friendship—she gets study help, and he gains a true companion.

genre: slice of life, humor, fluff, angst, smut, freaky nerd

warnings**: bullying, swearing, self-hate, mentions of anxiety, jokes of social "suicide", dreamies are kinda mean in this..., no condom mentioned, praising, fingering, marking, lots of boobie touching cause haechan loves them okay, make-up sex, idk probably more lol

word count: 8.9k

a/n: first ever written fanfic....kinda nervous haha

School is easy, all you have to do is sit there and look pretty. Well, that's what all your classmates thought. They didn't know how difficult school was for you. You never got what was happening in class. Anytime you got an answer wrong, no one batted an eye because who expects the rich pretty girl to get an answer right? But little did they know you would cry in the janitor's room after each time. You just hated feeling so dumb.

"Ugh, I'm not ready for today's test," Jaemin huffed, plopping down beside you.

"Wait, there's a test?" you sighed, already predicting the outcome.

Mr. Moon whispered a half-hearted "good luck" as he handed you the test, before moving on and finishing handing out everyone else’s tests. He already knew how it was going to go.

You hated how even the teachers knew you were stupid.

After the test, you already knew you failed it. You were the last one to turn your test in, when Jaemin asked if you wanted to meet up with him, Jeno, Mark, and Chenle for lunch. You nodded telling him you had to stop at the office real quick.

Instead of walking towards the office, you sped walked to the janitor's closet, already feeling the tears threaten to escape. You knew you failed that test. Even though you acted like you didn’t know you had a test, you lied. You’ve been studying for it for a long time. Even canceling plans. But you would never admit it to anyone. You studied your ass off but still failed, that’s even more pathetic than forgetting about it.

You quickly took out the keys and opened the door quickly so no other student would see it. You thank the janitor for being so forgetful that you could easily steal one of his keys. He has a bunch of copies, one missing wouldn’t hurt. Right as you locked the door you sat in the corner, not even bothering to turn the lights on.

you were always an ugly crier, but it was okay cause you bought the most expensive waterproof makeup for these occasions. Only a quick bathroom stop is needed before meeting your friends for lunch.

As you were drying your tears you heard the door jiggle and then open. you quickly hid your face just in case it was someone you knew.

"Y/N?" a voice you didn't recognize spoke, interrupting your quiet moment in the janitor's closet.

Confused, you wiped your face and looked up at the mystery voice. You kind of recognized the thick black glasses boy in front of you. You knew he was in some of your classes but you couldn’t think of his name.

Fearing the worst you cleared your throat before asking “What do you want?”

“Uh, I don't want anything!" the boy replied, swiftly stepping into the room and closing the door. You noticed he had his lunch tray with him. "This might sound pathetic, but I like to eat my lunch here."

confused, you asked him “Why would you do that?”

“Well I don’t really have friends and I don’t want to get picked on” he explained sitting down next to you, not having much of a choice because there wasn’t that much room.

"Oh, I'm sorry for bothering you. I'll just go," you said, preparing to stand up. But before you could, he quickly called out your name, making you look down at him.

"You're not bothering me! You can stay and talk about what's going on. I know we don't talk, but I can listen to you." His hopeful eyes convinced you to sit back down. You quickly wiped away your tears before confiding in him.

“You can’t tell anyone this!“ You put your pinky finger up and put it near him. “promise?”

“I don’t have many people to tell” he let out a small laugh while putting his hands up defensively. “promise!” he took your pinky finger in his

“okay” you nodded “I failed my psychology test today”

you looked at his face and he looked confused “What?” you questioned

“Oh it's just, you always fail your tests. Everyone knows that”

As he said that you felt the tears start to come back. Of course, he wouldn’t get it. Why did you ever think he would get it?

“I didn’t mean it like that, I’m so sorry” he panicked “I shouldn’t have said that!”

you turn away, quickly wiping away your tears again. “no I get it, I’m the dumb girl”

"No, no, no, that's not what I meant. Hey, want to hear something embarrassing about me? I'm only here because of a scholarship. That's why no one wants to be friends with me!" he confessed.

you start to giggle “That’s not embarrassing!”

“It made you laugh! But here is something actually embarrassing, my teacher forgot my name today. Even though I've had her for the whole year.”

Your eyes widen, feeling bad that you forgot his name.

“ahh you don’t know my name either”

you smile “If you tell me your name, I’ll forgive you”

“haechan”

“That's a nice name, haechan” You smiled at the way it rolled off your tongue.

“thank you, I have a proposition or a proposal”

“I know what proposition means” you teased

he giggled, “I’ll help you study”

your eyes lit up, “really? What can I do for you?”

he avoided your eyes and cleared his throat “Be my friend”

your eyes softened “That’s not hard, I was going to be your friend after this conversation anyways” You pushed his shoulder.

He finally met your eyes and smiled at you. “then you don’t have to do anything, friends help friends”

As the bell faintly rang, you pulled out your phone. "Here, give me your number so we can talk."

he paused for a second before taking your phone

standing up and thanking him before you quickly left to go touch up your makeup in the bathroom. Reminding yourself you would have to tell Jaemin you were sorry for ditching him and the guys.

You walked into your next class as the late bell rang.

“there you are! Jaemin told me you ditched us” Mark laughed.

“I didn't mean to ditch you guys, just got carried away.”

“carried away, with what?”

“I was working on my psychology essay, and I can't believe she makes us write one every week!” you huffed out, setting your bag down before sitting down.

“Could have just said you were talking to guys instead of lying.” Mark laughed, too interested in whatever was on his phone to notice your face drop. What did your friends think of you?

“What do you mean?”

Mark glanced at you before laughing, “You always procrastinate, there is no way you even started it!”

Instead of arguing you turned to face the front, pulling out your notebook. The essay is due in two days, of course, you started it. There would be no way for you to finish the four pages if you didn't. Turning towards Mark again you huffed out, “Well someone is helping me study.”

Shocked, Mark quickly faced towards you “What? What happened to y/n?”

You scoffed, “Really? That surprising”

“I am, you never really cared for grades”

“Well I'm sick of failing every test”

“So who's helping you out?” Mark leaned towards you “Could have just asked me”

“His name is Haechan”

Mark’s eyebrows furrowed “That one kid that eats in the bathroom?”

“He doesn't eat in the bathroom!” You defended

“Just be careful, he’s a little weird”

“What do you mean, you don’t even know him” You started to get upset.

“He doesn't really talk to anyone” He could see how your face scrunched up and you were about to start an argument with him so he shrugged, not really caring “Why didn't you ask me, I'm one of the top students”

You didn't really want to explain what happened so you just blew his question off. Before he could press you for an answer, the teacher walked in.

Haechannie🤓🐻: When do you want to start?

Y/N☺️: I have my psychology paper due soon. Could you read it over before I turn it in?

Haechannie🤓🐻: Yeah meet me at the public library after school

Y/N☺️: Thanks!

Haechannie🤓🐻: No problem :)

Jaemin and Jeno are probably thinking you're going crazy when you tell them you didn't need a ride after school. But you didn't want them to drop you off at the library and question you the same way Mark did in class. So you just said you were meeting up with a girlfriend of yours who wanted to walk to the park. At the mention of a girl, they didn’t question anything.

Now that's how you ended up looking around the library for Haechan. He wasn't on the first or second floor, so you started making your way up to the third floor. Questioning why he even would go all the way up there, no one liked the third floor. As you looked around you spotted Haechan sitting at a table in the corner.

As he heard you coming, he looked up and smiled. “Took you long enough!”

“Who even uses the third floor of the library, all the books up here are just textbooks.” You huffed out, setting your bag down and taking out everything you needed.

“That’s the whole point! It’s quiet up here”

You can admit, that he has a point! Maybe you will actually start using the third floor more. As if you ever go to the public library without your friends dragging you there. Liking your room for studying a lot more because there are no judging eyes.

“Okay, let’s get started! Let me see what you have already” Haechan smiled at you.

You pulled out your notebook and quickly found the page you started to write on before handing it to Haechan. As you handed it to him, your fingers brushed, which made Haechan pull away quickly.

You watched as his eyes read through everything you wrote. Anxiety started to fill you up. What if it was really bad and he thinks you're even more of an idiot than before? Ugh, he’s a nice guy, he wouldn't think like that. But you don’t really know him— Before your inner monologue continues Haechan put down your notebook. Shock showed in his eyes.

“Wow, that was really good! The way you described Sensation and Perception was easy to understand. How do you usually fail with papers like this?”

Shocked that he actually liked your paper it took you a couple of seconds to register his question. “I usually get good grades on my papers and in-class work, but tests always seem to get to me.”

“mmm, I understand,” Haechan hummed. “A lot of people have test anxiety, I have some tips I can give you if you want”

Your eyes lit up as you nodded, eager to hear what he had to say.

“It’s getting quite late, maybe we should start wrapping this up?” Haechan yawned.

You quickly looked at the time, not believing him that it was so late. You gasped, shocked at how quickly time passed with Haechan. “Oh, I better get going, before my mom starts to ask questions.”

“Yeah, I have to get going too. It was nice hanging out with you.” Haechan quickly gathered up all his things before moving to leave.

“Wait!”

Haechan paused looking at you confused.

“What are you doing tomorrow after class?”

“Nothing, until I have to go in for work” Haechan sighed “I don’t want to study again tomorrow”

A little taken aback by the change in his tone, you quickly cleared things up “That’s not what I was going to ask you! I wanted to know if you wanted to hang out, like at the mall or something”

you couldn't quite read the emotion on Haechan’s face. Was he shocked? Happy? Confused? Maybe a little bit of each.

“Oh um yeah, we can hang out.”

“Good, I’ll text you the details” You smiled before turning away and leaving him to stand there not knowing what was going on in his head.

The final bell rang as you rushed out to find Haechan. Earlier promising that you both would take the bus to the mall together.

Your eyes lit up seeing him standing at the bus stop, calling out a quick “Haechan” to get his attention. Which seemed to work as he found you in the crowd of other students.

As you finally pushed through all the people to get to Haechan, your face dropped. He wasn't looking at you anymore. “What’s wrong?”

“You don’t want to be caught hanging out with me, it will ruin your reputation.” He whispered

Taken aback you laughed, which turned into a heavier laugher. Shocked and confused by your reaction, Haechan turned towards you, watching you laugh like you were crazy. “I’m not joking! Hanging out with me in public is literally social suicide”

You took a couple of deep breaths before answering him “Haechan, this isn't some teen drama! Who even cares about that”

Haechan looked embarrassed by this and started to fiddle with his fingers. You saw the bus starting to pull up so you took hold of his hand. Stopping him from fiddling with them and making sure you didn't lose him to the crowd of people waiting for the bus.

If you were paying more attention, you would have seen how bright his cheeks turned. Before quickly snapping out of it.

As you got onto the bus, you noticed how full it was. Only noticed one seat in the back. quickly you pulled him towards the back and offered him the seat.

Shaking his head, he told you to sit down. But you insisted that you were okay with standing. Looking around you noticed the other people starting to get annoyed, even hearing an older lady saying she hates teenage couples.

Before he could protest, you pushed him down onto the seat and sat on his knee. “Are you happy now? It’s a win-win situation, we both get to sit now” You smiled.

The whole ride there was silent. Maybe the stunt you pulled on the bus was a little too much for him to handle.

But you didn't let that stop you from grabbing his hand when the bus finally arrived at the mall. Excitedly telling Haechan about all your favorite stores and sales that are going on right now.

He didn't seem to care when you kept dragging him to different clothing and makeup stores. It wasn't until you noticed how uncomfortable he was did you realized how rude you were being.

“Oh shit sorry, where do you want to go next?”

Taken back by this Haechan quickly tried to brush it off “No it’s okay, where do you want to go next?” Not letting him dodge the question you push him for an answer. “No, come on, let's go somewhere you like next!”

“Uh I like Gamestop”

“Then we are off to Gamestop, I know where it is because it’s next to my favorite shoe store!”

Haechan’s eyes lit up when he saw the new Lord of the Fallen had been released. “Cool! I’ve been waiting for this to come out” But as quickly as he picked it up he put it down.

“You're not going to get it?” You questioned

“Oh no, it’s too much money” He turned to look at other things, leaving you the opportunity to grab and pay for the game without him knowing.

Finding him in the back, you asked if he was finished looking around. Which earned you a nod. As you stepped out of the store, you held up the bag. “What did you get?” Haechan asked, confused.

“It’s for you” You giggled handing him the bag.

He hesitated before looking in the bag and gasping “Y/n, this is $80!”

“That’s nothing! I love buying my friends things that I know they will like” You smiled, hooking your arm with his. “Now I'm hungry, let's go eat.”

The food court wasn't your first choice, but haechan insisted. Arguing that he knew you were going to try to pay for his food if you went to some fancy restaurant. Which he is right, you would have. But you settled for paying for his Taco Bell instead.

“Let's go near the carousel I love the view and plus not a lot of people sit over there”

Haechan nodded, letting you show the way.

Everything was going very smooth. You wanted to do this again and again. But as you were in your own world you heard voices call out “Hyuck”. Haechan's eyes widened and looked around.

Two boys, one tall and one short, sat down near you guys.

“Long time no see, we missed you!” The taller one said either not knowing or not caring about your presence.

The shorter one cleared his throat before asking Haechan “So are you going to introduce us”

Haechan laughed nervously before looking at you, pointing to the shorter one “This is Huang Renjun” and then pointing to the taller one who seem to now noticed you were there “And this is Park Jisung”

Before Haechan could speak you smiled “I'm F/N L/N!”

Haechan winced at your mentioning your last name. You looked at the other guys and their faces dropped. Confused, you asked “what's wrong?”

Haechan quickly cleared his throat and explained “It’s nothing! We used to know someone with that last name and so they're just surprised.”

The two boys looked confused before nodding “Sorry, just bad memories” Renjun forced a smile before getting up and announcing “Oh we’re gonna be late for our movie, let’s go Jisung”

They left before you could even get in another word. Noticing your shock, Haechan shakes his head “Those are my friends from my childhood, we haven't talked in a while because we go to different schools now.”

Not wanting to push you just hummed.

Something felt weird but you didn't want to bring it up. Today has been one of your favorites and you didn't want to sour the mood by letting Haechan know his friends acted a bit rude.

So the whole time you didn't bring it up, instead going back to your cheery self. After a few more stores, you both decided that was enough for today and Haechan really needed to get home so he could get enough sleep before having to go to his part-time job.

Soon days, weeks, and months flew by. Hanging out with Haechan really made things go by so quickly. You liked his company. So did your teachers, complimenting you on passing all your tests. One even accused you of cheating, but Haechan stepped in and confessed he had been helping you study.

Even your parents seemed to notice the change in your mood. Your mother loves getting her cheerful daughter back. The only people who seemed to hate the “new and improved y/n” were your best friends. It started with Jaemin accusing you of sleeping with Mr. Moon because he swore there’s no way you could have gotten scored higher on your test then him. Obviously, you were pissed that he could even suggest something like that.

So you ended up admitting to your not-so-secret tutoring sessions to your friends one day at lunch.

“So that's where you've been during lunch?” Chenle questioned.

“Yes, we’ve been eating in the library together”

“So you’ve been ditching us for that nerd this whole time!” Jeno’s voice raised, causing some of the other students in the cafeteria to look at your table.

“Don’t call him a nerd!”

“But he is one!” Jeno threw his hands up in the air.

“Just because he gets good grades? Then why don’t you call Mark or Jaemin a nerd?”

“Y/N Come on, why are you defending him? He’s just some loser who eats in the bathroom when you're not at school” Chenle laughed, trying to get everyone to calm down.

Taken back by how rude your best friends were, you looked around and made eye contact with Haechan.

He was supposed to meet your friends today. He was really excited after you hyped all of them up. But as he was walking to your table, you could tell that he heard everything.

You saw how his eyes were starting to water.

“Maybe he is a nerd but he is way hotter than all of you! Bet he can actually get me to cum unlike any of you” You smirked knowing this would get on their nerves. Hitting it where it hurt, their egos.

You heard Jaemin scuff, “Yeah right, we all know your type! You wouldn't even kiss him”

Taking the challenge, you looked around and spotted Haechan again. But this time his face was red and his eyes were wide. You smirked, “wanna bet?”

The tension in the cafeteria was thick after your bold statement, and all eyes seemed to be on the unfolding drama. Your best friends wore expressions of disbelief mixed with irritation. You made your way over to Haechan.

Haechan's eyes showed surprise, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment. You could feel the weight of the challenge in the air as you took a hold of his sweater collar, the fabric warm beneath your fingers. The cafeteria buzzed with hushed whispers and curious glances, but your focus was solely on him.

Pulling him down gently, your lips hovered near Haechan's ear, and you breathed out a teasing question. "Can I?" The words were soft, carrying a hint of playfulness.

In response, Haechan nodded fervently, his eyes wide with anticipation. "Please," he whispered back, his voice barely audible.

With a mischievous smirk, you seized the moment, closing the distance between your lips and Haechan lips. Time seemed to slow as the cafeteria fell into a stunned silence, and then erupted into a mix of gasps, whispers, and scattered applause. The unexpected turn of events had caught everyone off guard, including your best friends, who now wore expressions ranging from shock to disbelief.

Breaking the kiss, you stepped back. You saw how Haechan went to lean back in again. Quickly placing a short kiss to his lips you whispered “everyone watching us” His eyes widened and looked around the cafeteria. Making you giggle and whisper a hushed “Cute”

After your little stunt in the cafeteria, everyone’s been asking you who that guy was and if you two are dating. You already knew poor Haechan was getting the same questions.

Y/N😊❤️: People keep asking me if you’re a good kisser

Haechannie🤓🐻: Well am I?

Y/N😊❤️: Absolutely

Y/N😊❤️: What are you doing after school?

Haechannie🤓🐻: Working and then going home

Y/N😊❤️: When do you get off? Want to hang out with you

Haechannie🤓🐻: 9 pm, at the convenience store on the other side of town

Haechannie🤓🐻: we can hang out only if you promise to kiss me again

Y/N😊❤️: we’ll see ;)

The convenience store was a far walk from your house so you asked your friend Yuna to drive you. But that didn’t stop your parents from scolding you for going out so late. All you had to say was that you were staying over at Yuna’s house. Yuna is your mom's best friend's daughter. She had no problem with this because last summer you had to do the same thing for her.

There was only a few people at the convenience store. You saw Haechan slumped over at the counter scrolling through his phone. “Aren’t you supposed to be working”

Haechan jumped up from his sitting position, ready to be scolded by his manager. But when his eyes landed on you he shook his head “Ah you scared me! I still have 10 minutes until closing”

“I wanted to get here early, I heard there is a cute cashier boy here” you smirked

You can already see Haechan’s face start to become a light shade of red.

“Stop flirting with me, I'm working!”

Before you could say a comeback, an older guy put down his stuff on the register.

“She’s just trying to get free stuff” The random guy scoffed

Taken aback you scoff, tilting your head “What do you mean by that?”

“You’re too pretty for him”

You looked at Haechan and saw his head lower.

Looking back at the guy you laugh “Nerdy guys are the freakiest” you winked

Haechan’s eyes widened, not being able to make eye contact with anyone.

“All girls are the same” The guy harshly stated before throwing ten dollars on the counter and leaving.

“How do you know I’m freaky?” Haechan busted out laughing.

“I don’t but guys hate when their masculinity is threatened” You shrug.

“So what do you want to do after I close”

“I don’t know, I told my parents I was staying over with a friend tonight. So I’m all yours”

“All mine? I like the sound of that” Haechan smirked leaning in “I live alone”

You gasp “How do you live alone?”

“It’s a small place, I don’t have a relationship with my parents anymore” Haechan grabbed the keys to close the shop. “It’s not too far from here, only a five-minute walk”

Entering Haechan's apartment, the reality of his living space matched his earlier description. It kind of reminded you of a college dorm. Only a small living area with his bed and a tiny hallway that leads to his bathroom.

As you took in the surroundings, Haechan couldn't help but laugh at your reaction. "I told you it was small," he remarked, his eyes glinting with amusement. "It's not the fanciest part of town, but it's affordable."

"It's nice!" you assured him, a genuine smile gracing your face.

Haechan, skeptical, teased, "You don't have to lie to me."

Your laughter filled the room. "I'm not lying! I was expecting much worse for a guy living alone." Your lighthearted comment elicited a chuckle from Haechan, getting rid of any lingering tension.

Looking around the compact space, you ask, "So, what do you want to do?"

"I was promised a kiss," Haechan said with a mischievous smirk.

Your laughter continued, but before you could respond, you felt his hand gently cup your face, pulling you into a kiss. This wasn't like the previous one in the cafeteria; it was more intense, and filled with passion.

As the kiss deepened, Haechan guided you backward until the back of your knees met his bed, causing you to gently fall onto it. Yet, he didn't break the kiss, instead, he adjusted his position to hover over you. Placing his knee between your legs, he elicited a soft moan from you. The sound only fueled Haechan's desire, and he broke the kiss momentarily, his gaze locking onto yours.

"You sound so beautiful," he murmured, his eyes fulled with desire. His fingers delicately traced the curve of your jawline, leaving a trail of electrifying sensations.

The air was charged with a blend of desire and anticipation as Haechan, deepening the kiss and found a comfortable position on top of you.

His hands, warm and assertive, traced subtle patterns along your sides, sending shivers down your spine. The small apartment seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of you entangled in the intoxicating rhythm of the kiss.

As the kiss continued to deepen, Haechan's movements became more deliberate. He pressed himself against you, and the warmth of his body radiated through the layers of clothing, intensifying the sensations.

The noisy world outside seemed to disappear, leaving only the echo of shared breaths and the subtle noise of hearts beating together.

Breaking away from the kiss, Haechan's eyes held an unspoken question, seeking affirmation in the depths of your gaze. Without uttering a word, you nodded, granting permission.

Haechan's lips traced a path from your mouth, leaving a trail of lingering kisses along your jawline and down your neck. Each touch sent shivers through your body, awakening a heightened awareness of the closeness between you.

As Haechan's fingers delicately traced patterns on your skin, he whispered “God I can’t get enough of you”.

“I need you inside of me right now” You moaned as he started to take your shirt off.

Your words seemed to ignite something in Haechan, his eyes darkening with desire. He gently removed your shirt, his touch making your skin tingle.

You felt Haechan’s warm breath against your skin as he buried his face in your breasts. The sensation of his lips approaching your skin caused you to gasp, and the sound fueled his desire. As his lips made contact with your nipple, you felt a wave of pleasure run through you.

“God, Haechan”

His lips found yours once again. The pleasure of his lips on yours left you intoxicated.The feeling of the soft sheets against your bare skin and the warmth of Haechan’s body made you feel safe, yet vulnerable. Your heart skipped a beat as you felt his lips take your nipple in his mouth yet again, and the pleasure and excitement was overwhelming. The intensity of the sensations had left you without words, and you felt yourself wanting to scream with pleasure.

“G-God”

The moan that escaped from your lips seemed to ignite something in Haechan, and he moved his mouth to your other breast, leaving a trail of hot kisses. Each one caused you to gasp with pleasure and your hands explored the his back from under his shirt. The pleasure and excitement was too much, and you needed him inside you, but he kept teasing you in different ways.

When he finally moved to kiss you again, his hands gently moved down your body to rest on your waist. He seemed to be asking if it was okay to continue, and you nodded, silent. His hands moved to take off your pants, and you felt your heart start to race.

His touch was gentle and soft, and his lips were warm against your skin, leaving behind a trail of goosebumps. You could feel the bulge in his pants pressing against you. The feeling of his skin against yours was intoxicating. As his hands kept tracing patterns across your skin. As his lips reached your thighs, you moaned with pleasure, begging for more

"Please..." you moaned, "I need you inside me."

Haechan looked up and gave you a mischievous grin, and his body tensed for a moment before he moved to undress himself. His movements left you breathless, and you stared at him as he removed his pants. The light of the room glinted off of his skin, and you felt your body start to quiver with anticipation.

His eyes seemed to penetrate you as he looked at you, as if he could see things you didn't want anyone to know about. There was a moment of silence as the two of you stared at each other, before he moved over you and hovered on top of you. The moment was perfect, the way his body molded to yours.

His lips found yours once again, and the kiss started off soft but eventually deepened. The intensity of the moment was something you had never experienced before, and your body felt on fire as his hands explored your skin. As his fingers traced patterns on your skin, you felt more and more aroused, and you moaned with pleasure as his fingers moved down across your sensitive skin to your underwear.

As you felt his fingers graze across your most sensitive parts, you gasped with pleasure, and Haechan smiled

“you’re hands please, i just need something inside of me” you begged.

Haechan smirked as he continued to tease you over your underwear. “then we have to get rid of these”

He slowly removed them before stuffing them into his nightstand.

You could feel your heart pounding in your chest as Haechan's fingers continued to tease you over your underwear. Your body throbbed with need, and you couldn't help but beg for more. The anticipation was driving you wild, and you craved the touch of his hands inside of you.

"Please, Haechan," you whimpered, your voice laced with desperation. "I need you inside me."

Haechan's smirk widened, his eyes darkening with desire. He knew exactly what he was doing to you, reveling in every moment of your vulnerability. Without a word, he slowly removed your underwear and discarded it into the nightstand.

The cool air caressed your exposed flesh, making you shudder in anticipation. Haechan positioned himself between your thighs, his gaze intense and hungry. You could feel the heat radiating off his body as he hovered over you, his breath mingling with yours.

His lips crashed onto yours once again, this time with an even fiercer hunger. The kiss was bruising, and passionate, as if he wanted to consume every ounce of your being. His hands roamed your body, leaving a trail of fire in their wake. Every touch sent electric shocks through you, heightening your desire.

But Haechan was not one to rush. He knew the power of anticipation. His fingers danced along the curves of your thighs. You squirmed beneath his touch, unable to suppress the moans that escaped your lips.

"Patience," he murmured against your skin, his voice laced with a raw sensuality that made your heart race. "I want to savor every moment."

His words only fueled the fire within you, igniting a primal need that consumed your thoughts. You could no longer wait, your body aching and yearning for release. With desperate boldness, you reached for him and pulled him closer. Haechan's eyes gleamed with a mixture of surprise and desire as you guided his hand to where you needed him most.

Without hesitation, his fingers slipped between your slick folds, finding your throbbing core. His touch was electrifying, sending waves of ecstasy through your body. You arched your back, giving him better access as he explored every inch of you, driving you to the edge.

As his fingers moved in delicious circles, your moans filled the room, mingling with the sound of his breathless whispers in your ear. It was as if time had stopped, leaving only the two of you.

Haechan's lips found yours once again, muffling the cry that escaped from deep within you as he brushed against your most sensitive spot. Your body shook with pleasure.

Every stroke sent shockwaves coursing through your body, building the pleasure to an unbearable peak. Your hips instinctively rose to meet his ministrations, wanting to feel even closer to him. The room seemed to spin as you felt your orgasm start to wash over you.

Haechan's fingers quickened their pace, pushing you further. With a sudden burst of overwhelming pleasure, your climax finally crashed over you. Your body shuddered beneath Haechan's touch as waves of intense bliss radiated from your core. It was an explosion of ecstasy that left.

As you finally started to get all your senses back you quickly reached out to Haechan. "Let me make you feel good too"

Haechan's cheeks flushed with embarrassment as he chuckled nervously, avoiding your gaze. "I-I get pleasure just from giving you pleasure," he stuttered.

The corners of your lips turned up in a sly smile as you teasingly asked, "Did you cum in your pants?"

In response, Haechan groaned and buried his face on your neck. "You just sounded so beautiful, I couldn't resist," he admitted shamefully.

You couldn't help but feel a mix of desire and amusement at his confession. Pulling away from him, you leaned into captured his lips with yours. "That's incredibly hot," you muttered against his mouth before breaking into a giggle.

"Alright," you said with a mischievous glint in your eye, "let's get cleaned up...and maybe we can find a way to get out of those pants too."

In the morning, you felt the warmth of hands around your body. With a content smile, you turned around to find Haechan already awake, looking at you. "Good morning, beautiful."

"How long have you been awake?" you inquired.

"Not too long, I didn't want to wake you up" he replied.

Leaning in to plant a morning kiss on Haechan's lips, you were halted midway. "I messed up," he confessed.

Shocked, you asked, "What do you mean?"

"I slept with my only friend," he admitted.

A chuckle escaped you. "Well, if you play your cards right, you might end up with a girlfriend instead."

He chuckled at your response, pulling you in for another kiss

As the soft morning light streamed through the curtains, the intimacy between you and Haechan deepened. The laughter from the lighthearted exchange lingered as he pressed his lips against yours.

Breaking the kiss, Haechan looked into your eyes with a mix of affection and sincerity. "I'm serious, though. I don't want this to change things between us."

You traced your fingers gently along his cheek, reassuringly. "Haechan, it doesn't change anything. We both have our pasts, and what matters is what we have now."

A grateful smile played on his lips as he held you close, appreciating the comfort of the moment. "You're amazing, you know that?"

The tenderness in his words made your heart flutter. "You're not too bad yourself," you teased, your fingers intertwining with his.

Your mother has noticed a change in your demeanor, catching glimpses of smiles and laughter while you were on your phone. Initially, you tried to dismiss it, claiming it was just conversations with friends, but the façade crumbled when your mother overheard you on a Facetime call, and she didn't recognize the voice. Peeking into your room she also didn’t notice the face on the screen.

Now, you found yourself anxiously anticipating how your parents would react to meeting Haechan for the first time. Your mother insisted on the introduction, pointing out that you had never appeared as happy with your previous partners. Which you had to give it to her, it was true.

While you were confident your mother would adore Haechan, your concern was with your father. He was often distant, engrossed in his role as the owner of a major technology company. His strict views on your relationships were rooted in a desire to maintain a family business, yet he doubted your ability to contribute to it.

Hoping your father would be too occupied to attend dinner wasn't far-fetched, he frequently skipped family gatherings. However, your mother's pleas for him to take a rare evening off for his "precious" daughter won him over.

When you first brought it up with Haechan he was terrified. Always saying he was too busy to meet them.

But you finally caught him. He was complaining that he hasn't seen you in some time and that he misses you. So you asked if he was free later. Implying something sexual so he would change his plans if he needed to. When he took the bait and said he would be free all weekend, you told him to get ready to meet your parents.

As the doorbell rang, you rushed to answer it before anyone else could. "You look so handsome," you cooed, admiring Haechan in a suit that, while not perfectly fitted, he still made it look good.

Haechan, in turn, was taken aback by your appearance. Clad in a baby pink puffy spring dress with pearl accessories, you radiated elegance. The elaborate outfit was your response to your father's decision to turn a family dinner into a business-oriented event.

Warned in advance, Haechan contemplated rescheduling, but your disappointment look and tears swayed him.

"I can't do this," he admitted.

"Yes, you can. It's okay," you reassured him, leading him toward the dining room.

As the evening unfolded, Haechan appeared more nervous than usual. Sensing his discomfort, you offered solace by whispering in his ear, "We can go to my room after we finish dinner." This seemed to ease his tension, evident in the subtle relaxation of his shoulders.

Upon entering the dining room, you wore a big smile, catching your mother's approving gaze. "Ah, this must be Haechan! I've heard great things about you," she greeted warmly.

"I've heard a lot about you too, Ms. [Last Name]," Haechan replied.

The initial interactions went smoothly. Haechan answered a few questions from your mother, and the room dissolved into various conversations. However, your father remained engrossed in discussions with his employees, seemingly oblivious to Haechan's presence.

Sensing Haechan's ongoing nervousness, you discreetly held his hand under the table. "You're doing amazing, we can sneak out soon."

As if on cue, your father redirected his attention to Haechan, acknowledging his presence. "How rude of me! I haven't even spoken to my daughter's new boyfriend," he announced. "So, what is it your parents do for a living?"

Haechan hesitated before revealing, "Well, they don't do much anymore. I work at a convenience store to pay for my apartment."

Your father raised an eyebrow. "Already working for yourself, impressive. Do you do anything else in your free time?"

Releasing the breath of air you were holding in, you smile. This was a small victory, your father rarely asked the guys you brought over questions. Not even caring for your friends. Remembering the time Jeno once threw up in your bathroom from how your father kept ignoring him.

"My father taught me how to code when I was younger," Haechan disclosed.

"That's impressive," your father acknowledged, swirling his wine before taking a sip. "What's your surname? You look familiar."

Haechan gulped before confessing, "Lee."

A collective widening of eyes among your father's employees followed, and your father smirked. "I knew you looked familiar, Lee Donghyuck."

Confusion furrowed your eyebrows. You expected Haechan to correct your father, but instead, he flinched and looked at you.

"I'm guessing you lied to my daughter?" your father quipped. "What was the name you came up with again? Haechan."

Tears welled up in your eyes, and to salvage any remaining dignity, you stood up and hurriedly left the room.

Your mother exchanged a glance with Haechan before whispering something to him. He excused himself from the table and followed you.

You slammed the door shut, intending to cry alone. However, Haechan entered the room moments later.

"Please let me explain first," Haechan begged, attempting to pull you in an embrace, but you resisted.

"What is there to explain? Have you been lying to me this whole time?"

"No, God, no! Yes, my name is Donghyuck.. Haechan is just a nickname," he clarified. "My dad worked at your father's company, coding for years until he was fired. They wanted someone younger."

He gently held your face in his hands, "At first, I hated you. But when I saw you tearing up and running to the janitor's closet, it made my heart hurt, so I had to follow you."

"I told you my name was Haechan because that's what I go by in school. I wouldn't have gotten the scholarship if they knew who I was related to. Your father basically runs this town! I had to!"

"I swear I was going to tell you, but then I started developing feelings for you. I couldn't risk it! This is the best thing to ever happen to me, you're the best thing to ever happen to me!"

As you stood there, emotions swirling within you, you listened to Haechan's explanation. His vulnerability and genuine regret were evident in every word.

A mixture of anger, confusion, and empathy danced on the surface of your emotions. "Haechan, why didn't you trust me enough to tell me the truth?" you asked, your voice a blend of hurt and frustration.

his eyes pleading for understanding. "I wanted to, but the fear of losing you, or jeopardizing everything we had, it paralyzed me. I never meant to lie to you. I just didn't know how to tell you."

You took a deep breath, attempting to collect your thoughts. The truth was a bitter pill to swallow, but his honesty and the vulnerability in his eyes struck a chord. "You should have trusted me, Haechan. Relationships are built on trust, not on secrets and lies."

He nodded, remorse written across his features. "I know, and I'm so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you, and I understand if you can't forgive me."

The room fell silent for a moment, the weight of everything hanging in the air. You finally spoke, "I need time to process this. It's not just about the lie but the fact that you felt you had to hide something from me. Trust is something we'll need to work on."

Haechan nodded, his eyes reflecting a mix of regret and determination. "I'll do whatever it takes to make things right, even if it takes time.”

“I love you, and I'll always be honest with you from now on," he promised, enfolding you in a tight embrace.

Your body resisted at first, still in shock of everything that just happened, but you eventually gave in, wrapping your arms around him. The familiar scent of his cologne and the warmth of his embrace made you realize how much you loved him despite the lies.

You looked him in his eyes, studying his face before slowly letting your body finally connect your lips to his.

Haechan’s kiss was soft and gentle at first, but it quickly grew in intensity as the passion between the two of you grew. You felt his hands on your waist as he pulled you closer, deepening the kiss.

Despite the initial shock and hurt, you found yourself unable to resist Haechan’s touch, his lips, the way he made you feel. You knew trust would take time to build, but right now, you couldn't resist the heat between the two of you.

Haechan’s hands moved up to your hair, tangling in the strands as he deepened the kiss even further. “Donghyuck” You moaned softly, unable to control the pleasure that coursed through you.

“I love the way you moan my name” he growled

As the kiss came to an end, you were both left breathless, panting from the intensity of the moment. You looked up into Donghyuck’s eyes, seeing the love and desire there, and you couldn't help but smile. “I love you so much” he whispered

"I love you too,"

Your eyes met his and your lips curved into a smile. "Thank you."

"For what?" he asked

"For loving me enough to tell me the truth," you responded.

“I will never hurt you again”

You stared silently, soaking in his presence, and a moment later, a small smile stretched across your lips. Donghyuck pulled you in for another heated kiss causing you to let out a small moan before pulling away slightly.

“You promise?” voice still shaky from the kiss.

Donghyuck grinned, his hands moved to your waist. There was a brief moment of discomfort as he lifted you onto your bed, but your objection was quickly silenced once you regained your balance.

You couldn't help but giggle at the boyish grin on Donghyck’s face as he looked at you from between your legs.

“I promise” he spoke as his hands traced the edges of your panties underneath your dress, teasing you and leaving you desperate for more.

A mischievous grin spread across Donghyuck’s face as he slowly began to slide your panties down, revealing more and more of your skin. You bit your lip, enjoying the sensation as he removed the final bit of fabric.

Donghyuck’s hands quickly moved to hook your legs around his waist, and you felt his fingers move towards your wet core. He teased you for a few minutes before moving his fingers up your slit, one finger brushing against your clit.

You moaned softly, biting your lip as you tried to keep yourself from making too much noise. You couldn’t help yourself though, the sensation overwhelming you as he began to circle your clit.

The sensation was so intense you couldn’t help but squirm beneath Donghyuck, his lips leaving a trail of kisses up your clothed stomach. His fingers slowed and he looked up at you. “Shh…” he whispered, lowering his head to your chest, kissing your exposed skin as you tried to regain control of yourself.

For a few moments you could barely breathe, light kisses upon your skin driving you wild. You could feel his cock pressed against your leg, and could tell it was straining against his pants.

“You are so gorgeous,” Donghyuck spoke softly as he moved up your body. His lips pressed against yours, his fingers teasing your clit as he moved his hand away.

Your lips were breathing heavily against his, your hips bucked as you felt him tease your clit again. You began to breathe hard, hot breaths gusting between your lips and his. "I love you” he repeated as his lips moved to your neck. He bit your neck, his lips sucking just hard enough to leave a mark.

You moaned softly as you moved your hands to his pants, fumbling with the button before pulling them and his underwear down so he could step out of them.

You felt his cock pressed against your skin, and you couldn’t help but reach out for it. You could feel his shaft pulsating against your hand as you stroked it.

Donghyuck let out a small grunt, his hips bucking into your hand as you teased the head of his cock. “goddamn” he moaned as you pulled him closer.

“I want you inside me. You could feel his shaft twitch in your hand as you said the words, your fingers tightening around the shaft as you moved to stand in front of him.

You pulled your dress over your head, tossing it to the floor as you reached behind your back to unclasp your bra. The garment fell to the ground, your breasts exposed to Donghyuck’s hungry gaze.

Donghyuck reached up, taking your breasts in his hands. He gently laid you back on the bed, his hands moving from your breasts to your hips.

You waited with heavy breaths as he finished stripping down, your eyes eagerly scanning his chest and abdomen. Reaching for his cock again eager for him to be inside you.

Donghyuck quickly shifted his hips, slowly sliding his cock inside you. You let out a soft moan as he slowly filled you up. He began thrusting slowly, his thrusts growing stronger and deeper.

He moaned loudly as he thrusts inside you, letting you slowly push against him. His thrusts were desperate.

As he felt his climax coming he reached down to grab your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours. The connection between you intensified, your bodies moving in perfect sync. It was a dance of pleasure and desire, each movement bringing you closer to that sweet release.

As his thrusts became more urgent, his hips snapped against yours with a hunger that matched your own. The room filled with your moans and the rhythmic sound of skin slapping together. Time seemed to blur as the world around you vanished.

Your nails dug into his back, leaving red trails as he drove deeper into you. Waves of pleasure crashed over you, dragging you deeper into the abyss of ecstasy.

Donghyuck's breath grew ragged against your ear as he moved faster, chasing his climax with fervor. His grip on your hand tightened, his body trembling with anticipation.

You arched your back as you felt yourself approach climax, your hands gripping the sheets as you sought more friction. Donghyuck’s pace quickened, his cock sliding in and out of you as you felt your orgasm approach.

Your body tensed as you came closer and closer. You cried out, moaning his name as he kissed you. “Donghyuck!”

Donghyuck’s thrusts grew more and more erratic. He began to let out a series of moans as he continued to thrust. He groaned loudly, your walls tightening around his cock as he continued to thrust. You could feel his cock twitch as he came, his cum filling you up.

Donghyuck’s cock slid out of you as the two of you came down from your orgasm. You curled up against him, his arms wrapping around you as you kissed him.

“I love you too.” you whispered, kissing his lips softly. You rested your head against his chest, and for the first time in a long time, you fell asleep without any worries.

The morning sun peeked through the curtains, casting a warm glow across the room. Donghyuck stirred, his eyes slowly fluttering open. He blinked sleepily and focused on the beautiful sight in front of him--your peaceful face, bathed in gentle morning light.

As he realized your arm was still snugly wrapped around him, a soft smile tugged at the corners of his lips. The night before had been filled with whispers, laughter, and tender kisses shared between you both. And in this quiet moment, as the world outside continued to awaken, Donghyuck felt an overwhelming sense of contentment.

Leaning in closer, he pressed a lingering kiss to your forehead. His touch was feather-light, melting away any lingering traces of sleep from your mind. You stirred slightly, a drowsy smile playing on your lips as you looked up at him.

"Mmm, good morning," you murmured, your voice filled with warmth and affection.

"Good morning," Donghyuck replied, his voice low and husky.

His fingers gently traced the contours of your face, his touch so tender it sent shivers down your spine. As you peered into his eyes, you could see the love that radiated from within him. It was in those moments when the world was still and quiet, that you truly understood the depth of his affections. Donghyuck was not one to wear his heart on his sleeve, but in these stolen moments, he bared his soul to you.

taglist: @yesohhsehun @numberonekeehostan @rjreins @yutaswh0re @haechansbbg @fullsunahceah @sundamariis @sinsgaybutthatsokay @nae-vm @hcheach @snflwrhaerecs4u @jenodreamer @mystverse @lhcread @onlyoursol-ace @enchantingtreedrea @jaeimjaemin @justforme211 @jakejaehyun @nk-3554 @hyunniesvlog @bbyjayb @nodisdino @qwonii-111 @pwarkkjisung @wettestpoussy @bomi-ja

(srry if i forgot you or if it didnt tag you)

#nct dream #nct dream x reader #nct dream au #haechan #donghyuck #haechan smut #haechan x reader #haechan fluff #haechan angst #donghyuck smut #donghyuck x reader #nct dream smut

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moonlight-tarot-11-11 · 2 months

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How Does Your Person View You?

This reading is the subjective point of view from your person. It might be or might not be true.

Pile 1. Pile 2. Pile 3.

Pile 1:

You're always on the move and not very emotional. You go and get what you want and aren't afraid to fight for it. You defend your point of view/ believes , but you don't go out of your way to start conflicts. If you're being attacked, then obviously you'll defend yourself.

They see you're up in your head a lot. Very dreamy, imaginative, full of ambition. A little stubborn at times, but with reason. To them, you're standing on stable ground and have valid reasons to be stubborn.

They see you as a knowledgeable person and that you have so many opportunities to succeed in whatever you put your energy in (however they view success).

They don't see you as an emotional person because you haven't really let them see that part of you. When things are getting too personal, you might change the topic and revert back to the composed you.

They admire you. They see you so high up and that you are capable of achieving anything and everything. For most of you, your person has seen you evolve into this 'new' you. They want to know you better, including your emotional side.

Songs: More Than A Friend - girli | Washing Machine Heart (Speed) - Mitski | Two - Sleeping At Last

Pile 2:

An old soul. You're not new in this world let alone, in this universe. They feel like you've gone through so much, but that you've learned from that and continued your path. You're not living in the past. You reflect a lot, but they see you applying what you have learned, into the present.

They think you're a bit lonely, even misunderstood, for some of you. You're so in tune with nature/universe/spirit - what that might look like for your person. You know what you're feeling, why you're feeling it, and what you'll do about it. They see you as a calm collected person.

There's this fear of getting close to you because they don't feel that they're at your level. They view you as knowledgeable in regards to spiritual topics and your person thinks they aren't so spiritual. They are open to it, but there's this irrational fear of you looking down on them for not knowing much.

Regardless of gender, they view you as a masculine person. You make decisions and act upon them. They're amazed by you and they think that you don't think very highly of them. You might have a bit of a resting bitch face without knowing.

Songs: She Likes A Boy - Nxdia | Miss You - Louis Tomlinson | Magia Blanca - Hermanos Carrion

Pile 3:

You limit yourself a lot but they also see you so free, flowing, and in tune with yourself, but for some reason, you limit yourself so much. Your person is frustrated. They don't know what they can do to help you realize this.

"Why do they stop themselves so much? Why do they hold themselves back so much? Why do they hide so much? Why aren't they showing their authentic self, their talents, their light to the world?"

From their point of view, there's nothing holding you back from doing anything. The Devil and 10 of Swords are in reverse - meaning you are free to do what you wish, but you think so low of yourself for a reason they don't understand or see, causing all those opportunities and freedom from happening.

It seems that you're open and trust your person, that's why they see all these amazing things about you. They have strong feelings towards you, but they feel that if they let you know, you'll reject them because of your poor self-esteem.

You think you're the worst being in the world, but they don't understand why you would think such a thing. They see you as the brightest light. The brightest of them all.

"Why are they looking for a devil that isn't there?"

Songs: I Really F**ked It Up - girli | Chance With You - mehiro | Drinking With Cupid - VOILÀ

~*~*~*~

I hope you liked the reading! Thank you for being here!

#tarot #tarot reading #pick a card #pick an image #pick a pile

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alastors-antlers · 4 months

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Why Alastor is good aroace rep after all, written by an aroace

Hello all! I just want to start off this post by saying that I'm one person who definitely doesn't speak for all aroaces, but I wanted to make a post on this anyway, and maybe some folk would be interested in hearing out another perspective?

I'm not really caught up on everything that's been said over the course of HH's creation - only more recent interviews, since I'm pretty new to the fandom. Apologies if I've missed anything, but also I do not have the time to keep up with all the out-of-canon-material backstory unfortunately. I'm working with what we've got here.

So here's the thing:

Alastor is cruel, he's narcissistic, he doesn't care about anyone except himself, he's a serial killer and a monster.

(That's the argument I've heard - please tell me if that's not really what people are going for lol, in which case I've totally misunderstood?)

The issue with aroace rep when it paints asexual people with those traits is that it aims to dehumanizes them. Sex and love are essential to the human experience, right? So why wouldn't someone be interested? Because they're self-absorbed, and cold, and detached. They don't have the capacity to love others enough to feel romance.

And sure, Alastor is a killer, and a schemer, and prideful, and a monster by hell's standards. But no matter how above it all and stylish and in control and provocative he wants to be, he's a very human character, and his aroace-ness never serves to add to his alienation. You could even say that it makes him seem even more personable.

That's what I think is the key difference.

why he's human

Alastor's whole persona is about control, and he basically straight-up says this. He's controlling what his enemies know, what his public image is like. His goal is to be the Radio Demon -- overlord of Hell, charismatic, Machiavellian, and undefeatable. He's not. Despite that smile plastered over his face (a powerful tool, huh) he's so expressive for someone who's constantly pretending.

You see his exasperation with the Egg Bois and with Charlie's ranting; his nervousness in front of Zestial; his frustration with Lucifer and the petty lengths he goes to to piss off the ruler of Hell.

You see his desperation, making that deal with Charlie. He's surprised by the idea of being vulnerable in front of an enemy like Adam, and so close to danger. He drops the radio filter and the affect out of fear, and runs on broadcast TV to let out panic and anger and bitterness in his hideout, where no one else can see him.

He has a smile that tells us he's genuinely happy to see someone; it's a little wider than his default. You see it with Mimzy's greeting, you see it with Rosie. Rosie, especially, serves to make Alastor more human to the audience. More on this later, but for now, I'm just saying that you can see that he at least seems to respect her greatly. Whatever bond they have, we know that he trusts her to touch him, to share history with him, and with support that he trusts no one else for.

He pretends, but he can't pretend it all away. Loads of these emotions aren't even advantageous for him to show. It isn't necessarily how the typical asexual psychopath acts; he's not emotionless or only capable of anger or brutality.

He's so full of emotion that it leaks through, despite all that he does to avoid it. He's not inhuman and aloof, not really - he's so, so human, even when he tries not to be because he thinks that'll be what keeps him above all the rest. In control, and free from his chains.

(If anyone wants to see images about all this, I'll make a separate post - just let me know.)

(I also have another post, talking about why Alastor is at least a little attached to the hotel's residents too, shown via conversation with Niffty. In what way? different question.)

how the aroace part contributes to that

Now, to be fair, we don't hear much about his aroaceness in canon. It's just not relevant a lot of the time.

In the pilot, Angel's proposition ruffles his feathers so much that Alastor blanks for a moment. It's a joke, sure, but that ace panic face is a pretty popular Alastor moment in the fandom - Alastor, thrown off-balance by a sex joke of all things, after so many years in Hell that he should probably be used to this.

It's a moment that makes him more approachable; his aroaceness shows him unprepared for something someone else does for one of the only real moments in the whole episode.

And the other part: the ace in the hole statement.

Rosie apparently knows Alastor so well that she read that he's aroace. That tells us about their relationship; namely, that it is long-standing and genuine enough that she gleaned a piece of real information from him. It's a casual fact that she knows about him before he even figured it out himself. It lends legitimacy to their bond - this bond that shows us a more comfortable and warm side of Alastor that we don't often see.

If their relationship is purely business, isn't this something pretty frivolous and personal? It's not like he has anything to gain by telling her about his life, but she learned about it somehow. How close are they? That's where it adds a layer of complexity and personality to his character..

thoughts on representation

Overall, Alastor's an interesting character who has a level of depth and care and personality (outside of cruelty) that asexual psychopath tropes lack. Again, the moments where he's being represented as disinterested in sex or romance don't make him seem detached. Again, they don't say "look how hostile toward relationships his behaviour is - how separate he is from our humanity". That's what bad villain ace rep is. That's not what the show's doing.

Also: I'm not saying that we need to lower our standards or anything, but even if you think it's not the best rep, I feel like we should be supporting HH's efforts here. I know that on Tumblr we have a pretty queer-friendly space going, which is honestly an understatement lol but

Aces are incredibly underrepresented in fiction. There's a whole Wikipedia page about asexual characters in media, and it's short as all hell, and even if you consider what's on there you see quite a number of one-off characters who are never mentioned again.

In terms of real life business - before the DSM updated their definition of hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD) in 2013, identifying as asexual wasn't even a recognized thing. If you talked to a clinician about your lack of sexual desire, you could be diagnosed with a disorder. Only in the 5th edition do we now have a little exclusion footnote about it.

The concept of asexuality hasn't been explored nearly as much as other queer identities in our scientific research. We get crumbs in terms of mainstream representation and understanding. House M.D. has an episode where House "disproves" us because he's just so smart.

Alastor isn't going to be perfect representation. There's no such thing as perfect representation, and from the moment he was conceptualized, you could see how people would take him poorly. Still, I think he's a net positive.

He isn't a side character or a token ace - he's a core part of the show, whose personality and character motivations we can reasonably presume are going to be explored much more deeply in upcoming season(s). He's loved by the fandom. Right now, given what we know, I trust Vivziepop to write the aroace representation he deserves, because with the way I've heard the cast/directing/etc. talk about him, they're trying to do the aroace community justice, so I wish people would let up just a little on the whole "Alastor is bad rep".

Let's give him a chance, all right?

#hazbin hotel #aroace alastor #alastor analysis #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel spoilers #asexual #asexuality #hazbin alastor meta #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin #alastor #hazbin meta #hazbin analysis

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hausbabylon · 9 months

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when the storm subsides

WandaNat x Fem Reader

Word count: 4,367

Warnings: 18+ content, neglect, stimulation, edging, spanking, degradation, humiliation, praising, masturbation, oral (w. and r receiving), strap-on (r. receiving), face riding (w. receiving), squirting, fluffy ending. Mommy!Wanda and Daddy!Nat.

You had taken real pains to make your little affair with Wanda Maximoff something more. The day you gave up, you gained more than you thought you'd lose.

It was one of those nights when you felt alone in a crowded room. The noise of the people around you only intensified the feeling of isolation.

You looked around, searching for a familiar face, but even the only face you knew seemed like a stranger. You wished for her to talk to you, to share your thoughts, but the fear of another rejection or being misunderstood kept you from reaching out.

With Wanda Maximoff, you began to feel increasingly defeated in your attempts to catch her attention. Despite going out of your way to make conversation and engage with her, you found that her eyes and interest were always drawn to others who spoke to her. Over time, you began to question whether your efforts were worth it, or if you should simply move on and focus your attention elsewhere.

The conversation among the people present revolved around materialistic things. They bragged about their properties, discussed how much their sales had risen in the past months and shared their plans to increase them even more. You noticed that most of them were middle-aged, almost like the woman sitting beside you.

It was surprising to realize that your beloved powerful witch, who possessed a higher state of consciousness, had these friends who were evidently blinded by ambition and were very poor in spirit.

One particular woman made you feel insecure. Throughout the whole evening, she seemed to be in between you and the woman you loved so much. It was as if she knew how to project her confidence and charm in just the right way to make you feel inferior, and she was succeeding. Wanda laughed louder than usual at her jokes, she touched the other woman's forearm or leg at every opportunity, and this other woman at the same time would give you a teasing look whenever you were ignored by Wanda. You felt like you were constantly competing with her, even though you knew deep down that it was a battle you could never win.

The last straw was when she spoke to Wanda's ear, and when her eyes fell on you, she gave you a teasing wink. This small gesture was enough to make your blood boil.

"Wanda, I wanna go," you protested in the Sokovian's ear, once the woman you knew as Natasha Romanoff finally turned away from her. "I'm bored, and this whole evening you've barely turned to look at me."

"They're my friends from High School, do you have any idea how long I haven't seen them? Please let me enjoy this moment."

You tried to put on a brave face and hide your disappointment, but it was hard. You had hoped that this evening would be a chance to meet Wanda’s friends, perhaps connect with her in a more meaningful way, but instead, you felt like an outsider.

"Why did you invite me here if it was to have me as a seat filler? You should have come alone," you snapped. "And alone you will go."

You took your bag and rose from your seat at the dinner table. Before leaving, you made sure to say thank you to the hostess for her hospitality, which was ironic given that the hostess was none other than the red-haired woman.

You decided to go to the bathroom upstairs, and take a moment to yourself before making your way home. Even the bathroom was as large as the main bedroom in an ordinary house. But of course it was Wanda's wealthy friends, they somehow felt the need to live in such an unnecessarily large mansion even if they were by their own.

It was all so difficult.

Wanda would treat you as her special girl, the best thing in her life, but only when you were pleasuring her at that time. It was during moments like these that you realized that her affirmations were not sincere, at least not outside of the carnal area.

Maybe this was a sign. Wanda did not see you in the way you desired: as someone willing to give not only your body, but your soul as well. You didn’t simply want her to hold you after she's finished using you for her own pleasure; you wanted her to count on you on her worst days. You wanted to be the first person she thought of when she wanted to share anything at all. You longed to be included in her plans, to be part of her daily activities, no matter how banal they were.

You had been trying so hard to impress her, for example, with new outfits, but it seemed like she just didn’t care unless she took them off you right after. You felt like you have done everything you possibly could, but it was still not enough. She gave you so many signs that maybe you were not the right person for her, at least not emotionally. She may have enjoyed being intimate with you, nothing beyond that. In the end, this was partially your fault, or at least you felt that way. You were too much of a non-conformist, and that could have been part of the problem, as you expected more from what Wanda was willing to offer.

You tried to hold back the tears were very close to spill from your eyes. You had hoped that things would be eventually be different with Wanda, that she would see you and love you for who you were, but it all pointed to the fact that you were just another accessory for her to show off.

You spent about ten minutes in there, trying to build up the courage to face Wanda and cut all ties with her before she could hurt you again.

But you knew it was in vain, when you heard a few knocks on the door. You knew it was Wanda, and you realized that you would melt into those green eyes as soon as you opened that door.

To your surprise, it was not Wanda who stood on the other side of the door. It was the woman who was the main reason of your mental breakdown.

You gulped slightly.

At least with Wanda, you knew what to expect. But with this woman, you had no idea.

"What's the matter, little girl, are you in the middle of a tantrum because your Mommy ignored you?" Her voice was soft and gentle, but it had a mocking tone.

"I know this makes you happy. Just with little touches she seemed to be whoring herself out to you, so be my guest," you were about to get out of there, resigned to the fact that it would be a long drive home where you would have to invoke every divine force in existence to protect you from an accident from driving in this state.

You were about to exit the bathroom, but she quickly raised her arm to create a barrier to stop you from passing.

"I wanted to get her attention, yes, but also yours,” she confessed. “She is very busy, and may not have the time to give you the care you deserve. That's where I come in."

Your eyes widened like plates, demonstrating how taken aback you were. Natasha was stunningly beautiful, so it was easy for you to be left in awe.

And it was as if your body made an action of its own, disconnecting itself from your brain, when you automatically tugged at the lapel of her jacket and your lips crashed with hers.

She responded eagerly, your mouth opening to allow her tongue to explore the depths of your cavity. It was a battle that neither you or her seemed to win, it was just an endless exchange of kisses, each one deeper and more intense than the last.

"Take me to your room," you spoke between gasps. She pulled away briefly to look into your eyes, and Natasha's sharp nails prickled your skin as she grabbed your cheeks a bit too hard.

"I'm not taking you to my room, I'm taking you to a room," she corrected, and released you roughly.

The room in question was still dim, illuminated only by a soft red glow that emanated from some led lights that were placed on the ceiling and the floor respectively. As your eyes adjusted to the light, the first thing you saw was a queen size bed in the center of the room, its sheets and blankets neatly made. In front of the bed, almost taking up the entire wall, was a large mirror. It reflected the red light in a way that made it seem as though the mirror itself was on fire. You understood immediately why Natasha would chose to put such a large and ostentatious mirror in her bedroom.

Natasha closed the door behind you, and suddenly, she grabbed you by the neck, her sharp nails digging into your skin again. Initially, the pain caused you to gasp, but then you realized that you loved the sensation of her touch.

Finally, she placed her hand in that area and pushed you backwards until you were pinned against the wall next to the bed.

Everything about Natasha was intoxicating, from the way she moved to the way she spoke. She always maintained a neutral tone, which differed from her harsh and straightforward actions. Though you didn’t complained, you knew at this point that actions spoke higher than words.

She pulled up the fabric of your dress, which reached a little above your knees. When it was sufficiently lifted, she slid it up your waist, your torso, and your arms, which you lifted by inertia. Finally, the garment was on the floor, leaving you only in your shoes and bra. And no, you weren't wearing any panties, which was the first thing the redhead noticed.

"What a nasty little bitch you are," she snapped, shaking her head. "I was going to be nice to you, but a whore like you deserves no mercy,” you could feel her staring at you, taking in every inch of your body.

She placed her hand on your chest to keep you in place, and she bent down to reach the drawer next to the bed. Subsequently, she pulled out a rope from there.

The redhead then ordered you to sit with your back resting on the bed headboard, only to take your wrists with a peculiar aggressiveness, and tied them in such a way that there was no way you could defend yourself.

It was very evident that she cared very little about your feelings. She had a deliberate intention to establish herself as your superior, and you were only a subordinate who followed her orders. The most frustrating part of this all was that you could feel the heat between your legs growing with each passing second, for you were completely at her mercy.

She then kissed you with an intense and almost animalistic hunger that left you breathless. You could feel the pressure of her lips against yours, and every once in a while, she would bite down on your lower lip with a strength that made you gasp in pleasure.

Her mouth slowly descended onto your neck, the warmth of her breath making you feel vulnerable. You felt like she had known you for years, like she had done this before, because she knew all of your weaknesses perfectly. It was as if she was reading your mind, knowing exactly what you wanted and needed, as if she had been given a detailed instruction on how to treat you, as if someone else had shared your deepest desires and secrets with her.

Her fingers made their way all over your body, until she reached that weak spot that was desperately throbbing for her.

"Ahhh… fuck y-yes!" You exclaimed, arching your back after feeling an exquisite electric current run from this area, all the way up to your stomach.

“Needy and foul-mouted,” she giggled. Her touch was gentle yet insistent, bringing you closer and closer to the edge of ecstasy.

Her movements became more deliberate, more focused, and you could notice the desire building within her as well. With each circular motion of her fingers, you felt yourself falling deeper and deeper under her spell, lost in a world of pure pleasure.

The redhead continued to caress and stimulate you, making it evident that the pleasure of your body was her top priority at the moment. Her fingers felt more and more lubricated with your fluids, making you a mess of moans that was almost humiliating. However, you didn’t care, everything was perfect, the intensity just right.

As you gazed into the mirror, you could see your own reflection staring back at you. You let out shameless moans as Natasha was above you with her head buried in your neck. Your arms were positioned above your head, your wrists bound to the headboard. All whilst Natasha's right hand was actively touching you, heightening the pleasure you were experiencing.

Your body began to tense up even more, and the heat rose to your cheeks, it was too much to bear that you could feel a lump forming in your throat. You knew you were on the verge of the climax. Despite the fact that she had not yet inserted her fingers, the older woman had managed to stimulate you in all the right places with just her touch alone.

"Mmm, someone's going to cum," the woman said, her eyes fixed on your body's reaction. "But I told you I wouldn't have mercy on you."

She withdrew her fingers.

“No! No! No!” You exclaimed desperately, your tone carried all the disbelief and frustration you were feeling. This woman was twisted and evil, how could she?

As she got out of bed, you hoped she would grab something to provide some relief, but your hopes were dashed as she exited the room, leaving you laying there angry and unsatisfied.

You then noticed the mirror across the room, which suddenly took on a different hue. Your heart sank as you realized you could see what -or rather who- was on the other side.

To your shock, it was a see-thru mirror! And on the other side was Wanda. She was lying on a similar bed, completely naked and not tied up like you. She appeared to have just achieved her first orgasm, unlike you who had not reached that point yet.

So Wanda had seen it all.

You didn’t know how to feel, whether furious or aroused, as you realized that you had been manipulated by both women.

As Wanda disappeared from view, you were left alone to contemplate the situation. But your thoughts were interrupted when the door opened to reveal Wanda dressed in a bridal robe, and Natasha was standing next to her, grabbing her by the waist.

They were both stunning in their own way, Natasha seemed tough and was indeed tough, on the other side, Wanda held a sweet façade that could be easily shattered into a sadistic being. This has happened on several occasions, and given the expression on her face, this could be one of those occasions.

"Look at your slutty little girl, letting me fuck her without your permission. What are you going to do, Miss Maximoff?" Natasha provoked her, and those words were of great terror to you.

As you stood there, she silently approached you with a determined look in her eyes. Her jaw was tight, and with each step, her face grew more intense.

You expected the worst to happen, since you were in a situation that was perfect for her to do whatever she wanted to do to you, without you being able to defend yourself.

However, she reached out and released the ties that bound you to the bed.

She proceeded to remove your bra and heels, and grabbed you until you were on all fours. It was a rough maneuver that left you feeling exposed and vulnerable to both women. As she knelt behind you, you could feel the fabric of her dressing gown brush against your skin.

She leaned forward, and grabbed your arms to place them behind you to tie you up again.

You heard the door close again, and you knew it was Natasha who did it. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm your nerves and think clearly.

Wanda's hand caressed the skin of your ass, her touch was firm as you have always known it.

“Look at how pathetic she is, surrendering herself at just a simple touch,” she addressed Natasha, and the latter hummed in agreement.

Wanda stopped stroking you and you felt her palm drop hard, spanking you aggressively.

It was clear that Wanda was angry, and you could sense that she was taking it out on you. Her intentions were obvious from the way she was acting.

“No, she deserves worse,” Natasha commented, and before you could even question what it was, you felt a whip with a thick belt. It surprised you, but instead of pain, it brought a tingling sensation throughout your body.

“Count!” Wanda grabbed a handful of your hair and tugged on it. You started to think that she believed that harsh treatment instead of simple words was the only way to get through to you.

As you looked up, you noticed that Natasha was watching the scene intently. .

You closed your eyes willingly this time, and braced yourself for the whip, “One!”

When you sensed another whip coming, you took the deepest breath your body could allow you at that instant. "Aahh, t-two," you squeaked this time.

You could also hear moaning in the distance, that's when you realized this was something of a spectacle for Natasha’s pleasure as well.

"Three," all this was sweet agony, and you were drawn into a darkest part of your psyche that surrendered to this most pleasurable sensation.

“Four…” your fists were clenching behind your back.

“Five…” you jumped, this was perhaps the strongest one.

“Six…” your legs weakened, and Wanda held your hips to keep you in place.

“Seven…” a couple of tears started welling up in your eyes.

“Eight…” your voice could barely be heard.

“Nine…”

“Ten…”

She stopped, and turned you over so that you could be facing her. In the midst of all the anger and lust her green irises projected, you could find a hint of appreciation in them.

With your legs spread a little wide around her waist, she removed her dressing gown, finally giving you access to a view of her beautiful body.

She untied your wrists.

Finally, you were free to touch her as you had so longed to do. She leaned over you, kissing you deeply and passionately, her lips lingering on yours before moving down to explore your jawline and neck. Her kisses were hot and intense, and you let small gasps of satisfaction as she trailed her lips and tongue over your skin.

But the pleasure didn't stop there. She descended on your breasts, licking and sucking your nipples with a fierce intensity that left you writhing with delight. As she mercilessly pinched one nipple, she ran her hot tongue over the other, alternating every once in a while.

And then you glanced at Natasha, watching from an armchair a few feet away, naked and touching herself as she watched the scene unfold. The sight of her only added to the intensity of the moment, as the wetness between your legs grew more intense.

Her lips pressed against your belly, leaving a trail of fiery kisses behind. As she moved lower, her mouth found the spot where you needed her the most, and her tongue sent electric waves of delectation throughout your body.

“Mmm… right- right there!” Your voice was unintentionally raspy, as you placed your legs on her shoulders and tangled your fingers in her hair, pushing her head slightly as you were grinding yourself shamelessly on her face. “Yes, Mommy!”

“Fuck…” Natasha’s voice made itself present, as her moans joined yours in a choir-like manner.

You watched her intently, noticing in awe as her long, drenched and shiny fingers were coming in and out of her cunt in an exquisite rhythm.

“Daddy’s about to cum,” Natasha groaned, as her movements increased.

The tension that had been building inside you was finally released, as you cried out Wanda’s name. You lost yourself in the sensations that only she could bring, and the wetness that had been building inside you was finally released in a rush of intense pleasure.

"Oh, my good girl," Wanda mused, and you subsequently noticed that Natasha had finished shortly after you.

She bent down again to clean up the mess she had made of you, but Natasha spoke up, "No, let me finish what I started," she got up from the chair, and walked over to you both.

She grabbed Wanda by her jawline and planted a deep kiss on her lips, so that Natasha could have a taste of you as well. She looked at you, "Malyshka, do you think your Mommy deserves a reward for pleasuring you?"

“Yes, Daddy,” you nodded, eager to accept with whatever was coming.

Wanda smiled widely, “So good for us. I told you, she’s a good girl,” she praised you.

She shifted, and carefully, knelt just above your face. She slowly dropped her full weight on you. You were able to taste her hot fluids in a matter of seconds, and you set to work on her.

You felt something new ramming your insides, and that made you tense in response. This was nothing like you had taken from Wanda before.

“Shhh, it’s okay,” Natasha cooed sweetly. “Take what I give you, I promise it’s going to become your favorite thing.”

She firmly took your waist, her thumbs slightly squeezing your pelvis while she gradually buried herself deep inside you.

In response, you buried your nails deep on Wanda’s thighs, earning a small mumble from her. However, that didn’t stop you from eating her out, on the contrary, you were taking it out on her, which made her moan louder.

Natasha then found her pace, and you could hear the nasty sounds your wet cunt was making, which didn’t go unnoticed by both women either.

“Fuck, your little girl is taking me so good, Maximoff,” she exclaimed with pride.

“Mmm… I can tell! She’s taking it out on me,” Wanda panted.

Soon enough, Natasha increased her speed, and you let out muffled moans as your breath quickened. Just as she promised, it became your favorite thing, since your fluids were pouring out, and the fabric of the blanket was beginning to soak under you.

“I’m… I’m… so close!” Wanda exclaimed, whilst you were prevented from moaning, as she choked you with her inner thighs.

“You’ll wait for her,” Natasha commanded.

“Please… I don’t think I…-”

“You’ll wait for her,” Natasha reiterated.

You shut your eyes tight, the only sound that could be heard was Wanda’s slutty moans, and Natasha's pelvis crashing against your ass, creating that familiar obscene sound. Her movements were expertly timed, and her touch tantalizingly rough.

You eventually felt the coil in your lower abdomen losing itself for the second time, as you had just experienced yet another orgasm, this time with a new woman. Natasha had been eager to please you and had certainly succeeded in doing so.

Wanda did as Natasha ordered her, and just as you were finishing, Wanda climaxed, drenching your face with her own pleasure. The feeling of her warm juices all over you was both thrilling and satisfying.

Both redheads lay on either side of you. The room was humid, and you all had sweat trickling down your foreheads while some of your tousled hair sticked in there.

Wanda's fingers started caressing your scalp, "I'm sorry," she said. "I'm sorry for not showing you how much I care about you. I've been so caught up in my own past that I didn't realize how much I was neglecting you. But that's going to change. From now on, I'm going to give you the love and attention that you deserve."

Hearing those words felt as if a long and arduous battle had finally come to an end, and all of the doubts and uncertainties that had been plaguing your mind were suddenly swept away. You finally could discard all the versions of yourself you had shown her for her to notice you, because for the first time, she had finally assured you that she loved you for you. You didn’t have to try that hard, not anymore. This was the start of something new, something beautiful.

You looked into Wanda's eyes, "Thank you, my witchy,” your tone came out more emotional than you intended to. But it didn’t matter, it was a moment of pure vulnerability and honesty, and it felt liberating to finally hear her say those words.

Natasha, who was also there, smiled and stroked both of your cheeks tenderly. "My beautiful girls," she said, "I hope we can meet again soon and continue to share these precious moments together."

That day, Wanda and you said goodbye to the visitors who had no idea what had happened upstairs, already very drunk and immersed in their conversations. After returning home, Wanda confessed to you that she had been intimate with Natasha Romanoff in previous occasions, but you didn’t blame her, that same night, you also felt a certain attraction growing within you. Therefore, you and Wanda agreed this wouldn’t be the first and last time you would be having encounters with Natasha.

And so, as the weeks went by, the three of you went on several dates, and created all kinds of memories. You enjoyed spontaneity at its fullest, no expectations, and overall, you felt special and loved by both women, who made you feel noticed and appreciated.

It didn’t take long for your love for them to grow, and you cherished every moment you spent together.

Looking back on that night, it felt like the world was about to end. Little did you know that it was actually starting.

#wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximommy #wanda maximoff x you #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x you #wandanat #wanda x natasha #wandanat x reader

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youremyheaven · 9 months

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The 8h in Astrology💀🦇✨

(this can apply to both tropical and vedic placement of 8th house because regardless of the system employed, the energy felt and experienced is the same :-)

The 8h is perhaps the most mysterious house in astrology and is most commonly associated with sex, death and unexpected events. Its also related to one's longevity, wealth, debts, transformation etc

It is a very misunderstood house, so I thought I'd make a post analysing it and shedding light on its nature<3

8h is connected to finances, occult, revenge, taboos and fears.

Sex, death and transformation form the core of 8h (scorpio). These are very Scorpionic themes and we must understand why. I had already explained how sex and death are interrelated and kind of go hand in hand. Sex and death are similar in the sense that they both offer release from life; the former temporarily and the latter permanently 💀 and when there's talk of sex and death, there is bound to be talk of transformation because both of these are deeply transformative activities.

It is interesting that a water house, like the 8h rules over sex because water is an element that absorbs things quickly. Sex can be best understood as a transfer of energy between two people; this is why sometimes with certain people, sex can feel very draining and post-coitus, many people describe feeling melancholic. Water is the most emotional element because, unlike other elements, it's in the nature of water to merge itself, like rivers merging with the sea; union is essential because water by design flows from itself to eventually reach the ocean.

Each water sign expresses this emotional depth differently but it is at its height in Scorpio which is generally understood as a very "intense sign".

Scorpio is known for its highly sexual nature but it's very rare to see a Scorpio enjoy casual sex (unless they have other placements that encourage it). This is because they deeply crave emotional connection and emotional intimacy.

It is why it's advised to be selective about one's sexual partners; because sex can have a profound impact on one's spiritual energy and cannot be considered a purely physical activity. it's possible for one to be disconnected from their emotions but being intimate with someone is not an un-emotional act by nature since sex is ruled by the water sign of Scorpio/8h.

In French, an orgasm is called "le petit mort" or "little death" and its safe to say that sex & death are closely associated in many cultures.

there is a reason why sex, fears, trauma, taboos are all 8h topics. if you've ever come across someone who naturally exhibits a very potent, magnetic sexual energy and aura, 8/10 times they've lived very messed up lives or come from a home that was less than ideal. this is because sexuality is inherently dark and shadow-y; someone who has a very potent sexual aura can easily intimidate others; they're bound to have a very unsettling effect on others; this is because we unconsciously pick up on the fact that they've been through things we can't imagine. they project things we fear. historically sex symbols have always come from really abusive families, have terrible relationships with their father, usually had to bear their mother's emotional burdens, they've most likely had a string of bad relationships and likely suffered abuse. why is this? whatever we project on the outside is a reflection of what goes on within us.

There is a reason why most people say Old Hollywood actresses were so much more unique and better than the current lot. Not only did they have a distinct persona but they each reflected it energetically. True raw sexuality always points to darkness lurking underneath; this is what makes us curious about them, what draws us in and what makes their presence so intense; like they suck up the air around them.

Most celebs today are beautiful on the outside and possess every feature it takes to be "sexy" but they do not have sex appeal. They lack presence.

(I went off on a tangent lmao, anywayyyyys)

8h is connected to transformation. Birth and death are two of the most fundamentally transformative experiences, not just for the people undergoing it but also for everyone in their lives. In our lives, we also experience ego deaths and spiritual re-births, so we live and die many times before we actually die. Sex too is an activity that is supercharged with transformative potential. There is a reason why sex is performed ritualistically in many occult initiation ceremonies and why Tantra is so heavily associated with sex that it is practically only known as some kind of crazy yogic sex thing. Sex opens up an energetic channel, a doorway so to speak, that allows for new energy to be invited in. There is a reason why many creatives consider their partners to be their muses (although its not necessary for a muse to be their sexual partner; i will get into this in more depth in a future post).

the 8h is connected to unexpected events because by nature we cannot predict either birth or death. we can come up with a tentative time frame but it's not possible to conclusively say someone will die/be born at this specific time. 8h governs all matters that are unexpected; positive and negative. life can turn on a dime. you can go from rags to riches over night but you can also lose your empire in minutes. 8h transits bring about crazy transformative experiences and depending on your placements and aspects, create a lot of emotional turbulence as well.

I have noticed that many 8h natives tend to be heavy sleepers whereas 12h natives often struggle with insomnia.

8h is connected to both wealth/finances as well as debts. This comes down to the fact that the 8h is connected to transformation. Our resources/money is a significator of our karma (in spirituality karma means actions) and therefore they are always undergoing change. There are certain aspects of our life we cannot change (where we are born, who we are born to etc) but our finances are up to us to change and transform. Its interesting that the 8h is linked to loans, debts etc. and not just accumulating wealth. An afflicted 8h can show someone who has a lot of debts or an inability to keep hold of money.

8h is also related to what is kept hidden or secret and finances/debts are usually the things that people are extremely private about (so are other 8h activities like sex and death).

Wherever you have your 8h, you're probably better off keeping those matters very low-key and private because its easy to attract evil eye.

the reason 8h is also associated with revenge is because it represents our shadow side, its the 8th house from the 1st house of self/ego, so it represents what we keep hidden/our shadow. The reason why we feel so triggered by certain people is because they project our shadow (in the Jungian sense of the term). If we ever hate some people for no reason, there is a HIGH chance that our 8h placements are present in their chart.

8h synastry can create some of the most toxic relationships and lead to a lot of purging and projecting on to each other. This is never good for long term relationships.

This is also why 8h is connected to fears. Our fears are usually subconscious and hidden from others and even from our conscious selves. This is again why its also connected to taboos. The 8h essentially covers all that lies underneath the surface.

"A human being is a part of the whole, called by us “Universe”, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest — a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty. Nobody is able to achieve this completely, but the striving for such achievement is in itself a part of the liberation and a foundation for inner security."- Albert Einstein (Jyeshta Moon) 8h

its very common for 8h natives to feel trapped or stuck in their circumstances. being "caged in" is a very definitive 8h experience.

In Tibetan Buddhism, the concept of "Bardo" is present. It is the intermediate, transitional or liminal state between death and re-birth. This need not refer to literal death and re-birth of course.

The experience of Bardo is transcendental, allowing an individual to experience reality in the clearest way possible but it can also be terrifying. It is an opportunity for liberation but it can also prove to be dangerous as one experiences hallucinations based on their karma.

Bardo can be experienced during times when the usual way of life is interrupted, such as during the course of illness, during meditation etc. Such times can prove fruitful for spiritual progress because external constraints diminish. However, they can also present challenges because it can also make us impulsive.

8h transits can often feel this way and having 8h placements itself can feel this way; you're capable of immense spiritual depth but also of causing so much trouble and sometimes its impossible to separate the two.

8h natives could be heavy sleepers or struggle with insomnia (this is more 12h imo)

8h transits are often connected to death 💀 and the 8h placement can provide significant clues about one's lifespan, nature of death etc

“Whoever loves becomes humble. Those who love have , so to speak pawned a part of their narcissism.”― Sigmund Freud (Moon in 8h)

8h natives experience a riptide of emotions but are unable to channel it effectively. They are not the best at expressing how they feel verbally. The reason why Moon is debilitated in Scorpio is because these natives are unable to express how they feel and unable to receive energy in the same way as Cancerian natives (Moon rules Cancer) this is not due to any other reason but that these natives have such a vast reservoir of emotions and such depth that it's almost too much for them to process and grasp emotions in a nonchalant way.

“The most important things are the hardest to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them -- words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they're brought out. But it's more than that, isn't it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you've said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it. That's the worst, I think. When the secret stays locked within not for want of a teller but for want of an understanding ear.”― Stephen King (Jyeshta Moon/Moon in Scorpio)

8h in an earth sign could signify dying of old age, 8h aspecting neptune/uranus/pluto could signify unnatural death, 8h in fire signs could point to violence/accidents.

since the 8h is connected to the subconscious realm, its also linked to psychology, magic and secrets. magic involves tricking the mind into believing something is real when it's not, it's a very 8h activity.

the subconscious also stores our secrets which is why its connected to hate and revenge.

the natural ruling planet of 8h is Saturn and Saturn stands for discipline, justice, karma and time. in life we get what we give (this is also a sexual principle) and this explains the connection between 8h and sex, as well as 8h and saturn.

ultimately scorpio's waters represent that which we hide, be it desire, fear, traumas or taboos.

in vedic astrology, scorpio is exalted in ketu whereas rahu is exalted in taurus (the opposite sign of scorpio is taurus). the fact that ketu is the tail of the dragon with no physical form of its own and that its exalted in a water sign is very telling.

"Ketu signifies the spiritual process of the refinement of materialisation to the spirit and is considered both malefic and benefic, as it causes sorrow and loss, and yet simultaneously turns the individual to God. In other words, it causes material loss to force a more spiritual outlook in the person." (this is from wiki)

I would say Scorpio/8h can be described very similarly. experiencing loss is a big theme in the life of an 8h native. its very easy for 8h natives to give into drugs, other substances and live a very hardened life. its through experiencing loss and heartbreak that an 8h native can break through the cycle and seek spirituality because the 8h is innately connected to the spiritual realm.

these natives can veer between either extremes, i.e, they can be alcoholics/addicts, never experiencing true love/meaningful relationships but through pain, a divine channel opens up and many reform their ways for the better. because an evolved 8h native is capable of profoundly deep intimacy and are the most loyal and protective of companions/partners/friends.

its hard for these natives to find stability and most 8h natives are naturally guarded people, suspicious of others and their intentions which makes them true blue introverts.

🌹true romantics deep down, these natives desire love profoundly but feel unable to express it adequately. if your partner is an 8h native, they'll remember all your likes and dislikes, every little thing about you, pick up on your habits and preferences but they'll seldom verbally gas you up or be affectionate. they're more covert with their love.

being extremely mysterious, many 8h natives could have a not so good reputation. people perceive them in ways that are far removed from who they are. they could also have many secret admirers.

symbolised by the scorpion, a fiercely guarded creature that is intelligent, defensive, dangerous and ruthless to its enemies, 8h natives imbibe quite a few of these traits. they are so defensive because they feel like they have to protect themselves. being a water sign, they absorb things easily and this pollutes their energy.

they're the kindest people underneath it all<33

#sidereal astrology #astrology notes #astrology observations #vedic astrology #nakshatras #astroblr #astrology #vedic astro notes #astro notes #astro observations #8th house #scorpio #water sign

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horreurscopes · 6 months

Note

So, I could be out-of-bounds here since I think you meant it as dark humor, but what did you mean in the tags of that 'israel-hamas war' post? I suspect you(and op) are criticizing that framing because Israel is obviously demolishing much more than 'Hamas'(and probably doing a terrible job of actually targeting terrorists- they seem content to reduce Gaza to rubble even if the brass of Hamas escapes). I'm guessing that by saying "joining the Israel-Hamas war on the side of Hamas" you mean, if they're going to conflate Palestinians with Hamas unilaterally, then you're saying, whatever the media wants to call Palestinian civilians- you still support them. I am asking anyways though bc, given reports of increasing antisemitic activity in the US and Europe, I am worried about the potential for blurring lines between the cause of Palestinian civilians and the alt-right individuals who are likely masking their antisemitism in the context of being anti-Zionist. Although Israel's government has been the source of Palestinian loss for decades, (it seems to me that) even joking about supporting terrorism is enough to reinforce the persuasion that Israeli/Palestinian Jews and Palestinian Arabs must be mutually-exclusive peoples. I don't think it's fully rational per se(tho I'm not claiming to have all the relevant information myself, and I'm white US American goyim so like- grain of salt-), but I think that existential fear is the incredible hurdle facing Zionist Jews. (Idc too much about the opinions of non-Jewish Zionists bc I don't grant that they are dealing with the same emotional complications at this time, although that doesn't stop me from arguing w my acquaintances abt their callous acceptance of US/Israeli propaganda.) I just think..... isn't it overall harmful to allow anti-semitic rhetoric, even used sarcastically, to enter the genuine humanist cause for Palestinian liberation? Or, have I misunderstood, and you actually are not in opposition to Hamas, or something else I didn't think of?

hi! thank you for approaching the question thoughtfully and with curiosity, i really appreciate it. i was being kind of flippant with that meme, but this is the only ask i'm going to reply to on the matter given that i am neither jewish nor arab, so i'm going to answer in earnest:

hamas is a political resistance movement with an armed wing, much like the black panthers party was, and like the bpp, a large part of the organization is dedicated to social welfare and civic restoration.

they have stated that they are not against judaism, but against the zionist project. they openly support political solutions.

labeling hamas a terrorist group is a propaganda tactic used by the united states and israel to justify the horrors of settler colonization.

hamas is palestine, a part of it, even if palestinians like any other demographic on earth, are not a unified, single-minded people. to declare hamas a separate entity falls prey to the imperialist lie that there is an enemy to fight "fairly" within the people they are displacing and exterminating.

am i rejoicing in the deaths of israelis? of course not. killing civilians and taking civilian hostages is a war crime, whether it is committed by the opresor or the oppressed. the israeli government is not its people, and many jews, within israel as well as in the US, are bravely risking their lives to publicly dissent the criminal acts of the israeli government. all loss of human life is a tragedy.

no one should ever be faced with the choice between annihilation and murderous violence after exhausting all other forms of peaceful protest and being massacred like animals.

but why is it that we consider a resistance group formed within a population with a median age of eighteen a terrorist group, and not the IDF, a US-backed military force with an annual budget of twenty billion dollars?

i am currently reading hamas and civil society in gaza by sara roy to learn more about hamas and the history of israel in palestine. i'll remember to post more excerpts which i am admittedly terrible at.

but all of the information above can be found by reading wikipedia. investigating with duckduckgo searches (not gonna pretend google isn't prioritizing propaganda, to be fair), and reading reliable news coverage like aljazeera and the many journalists who are at risk of, or have lost their lives, reporting on the ground.

i have also appreciated reading posts from @determinate-negation @opencommunion @fairuzfan @ibtisams and @bloglikeanegyptian amongst others

in conclusion:

#palestine

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sebscore · 11 months

Note

Hello I hope you are well. Can you write reader who has night terrors with Charles Leclerc? Thank you very much

KICK UP A STORM | CHARLES L.

pairing: charles leclerc x sister!reader

warnings: thunderstorm. crying.

author's note: sooo, i just realised it said 'reader’ and not 'sister!reader' lol so i hope you still like it and you're not mad that I made a little leclerc fic. I also totally misunderstood the night terrors and you probs meant nightmares, but oh well 😚

masterlist

• • • • • • •

''Y/N?''

The sudden appearance of Charles made her flinch, almost dropping her glass of water in the process. ''What the fuck.'' She tried not to yell, it was late at night and she didn't want to wake up her family.

''What are you doing? It's like-'' he glanced at the time of his phone, ''super late.'' Finding his sister on the couch at 4AM was not a sight he was expecting.

She shrugged her shoulders, placing her glass back on the coffee table in front of her. ''I just can't sleep.'' Y/N answered him, staring at her bare feet.

''Why?''

The young girl shrugged her shoulders, too embarrassed to explain her reason for being awake at this hour. ''Don't know,'' she whispered, ''I'm sorry if I woke you up.'' Y/N apologised, her wavering voice a little louder now.

''Non, non,'' Charles brushed her apology off, ''my throat is dry, I just wanted some water.'' He grew concerned at her answer. The driver couldn't take a good look at her face due to the darkness of the living room, but he had a small suspicion she had been crying. ''You okay?''

''Yes, I'm fine-''

Right as she was about to lie and assure her brother she was alright, a flash of lighting lit up the large room. The crashing thunder boomed through the city of Monte-Carlo, and by default through the Leclerc household.

''Hey- it's okay!'' Charles didn't hesitate and ran to his sister's side, sitting next to her and pulling her closer to him. The tears in her eyes glistened with each struck of lightning that was produced. Y/N hid her head in his neck, staining his shirt with her wet cheeks.

''You're okay, I'm here. I got you, chérie.'' The man kept a strong hold on her, using his body as a form of shield. ''You're fine! We're inside, nothing can happen.'' He tried comforting her with his words, her obvious distress breaking his heart.

Her fear of lightning and thunderstorms had been a primary one ever since she was a young child. She and her family had never been able to pinpoint the exact moment her phobia started or what situation had been the catalyst, but it was there and it hadn't gone away with the years that had passed.

It had begun with rain tapping on her window, which quickly turned into the sky rudely interrupting her sleep and scaring her with a large strike of thunder. As the storm went on, her room felt like it was becoming smaller and smaller by the minute. Y/N moved to the larger living room on shaky limbs and tried to be as quiet as possible so she wouldn't wake anyone up.

Charles felt like an idiot as he continued comforting his baby sister, guilt filling his mind over not realising sooner why she couldn't sleep. ''Don't worry, it's okay now.'' He pressed a kiss to the side of her head. ''You know you can always wake me up, right?''

The young girl moved her head from his neck and rested it on her older brother's shoulder. ''I know, but you've been working so much. I just wanted to let you sleep.'' She sniffled, explaining herself.

''Oh, bébé~'' He cooed, touched by her consideration of his sleep schedule.

''If this happens again, just wake me up. I don't want you to be scared on your own like this. If it's you, I don't mind.'' Charles clarified, wanting her to know she could pull him from his sleep in situations like this.

Y/N nodded, a tired smile on her face. ''Okay, Cha.'' She promised him, her fingers fiddling with his hand.

An unexpected chuckle from her has Charles turning his head towards her. ''What?''

The youngest Leclerc shakes her head. ''No, it's just… you said you won't mind if I wake you up from your sleep.''

''Yeah?''

''So who would you mind waking you up?''

Her question has him laughing now as well, glad her cheeky personality had gotten back to the surface. ''Well, I think we both know the answer.''

''Yeah,'' she mumbled, ''I know.''

''Arthur.''

taglist :: @missskid @maxiel-jpg @glitterquadricorn @stillbreathin @obsessed-fan-alert @booknerd2004-blog @kageyamama-hinatatata @reblog-princess-blog @maezenin12 @gly-exe @lighttsoutlewis @topguncultleader @jaydensluv @nora_moon @erinisrightheree @7leb-kakaw @theamazingsimp @lovelyxlily @princessmiaelicia @mehrmonga @champomiel @rowansshit @mbappebby @maemaesthoughts @g4ns3y @im_mi @gracesferrari @67-angelofthelordme-67 @harrysdimple05 @ijustwantavacation @livinglifebeingme @Judgemental-Raven

@moony-mari @uhhevie @princesselle2111 @vanishingcherry @simping4marauders @ooooohmicky @gentlemonsterjennie1 @Mayake-1 @awhoreforspencerreid @cl16lvr @skepvids @jason-todd-fangirl04 @lecl3rcw @coffeewhore18 @mikauraur @crueldinasty @anvdala

#f1 fic #f1 fics #f1 x reader #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc x female reader #charles leclerc fic #f1 x you #f1 x oc #charles leclerc x sister!reader #charles leclerc x oc

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almacambiondaughterofsaleos · 6 months

Text

I Am Officially Disappointed With The Direction They Are Going With Heaven

Ever since the "Cherubs" episode happened, I wasn't confident that heaven would get as much nuance as the folks in hell and this shows with Adam I was right. It's really going to be the switch of heaven is just as evil or even more evil than hell, while hell is flawed but full of otherwise misunderstood people. This ignoring the fact that it's hell and many people there are show to be worthy of being there which includes Valentino and those guys in the aforementioned "Cherubs" episode.

I even was uneasy when the premise was first dropped and it was that heaven was sending these angels to slaughter which in my opinion always made no sense to me. If they don't care about sinners then why sent exterminators out and just make hell's king reside over them. Again it's questions like that made me realize that this world isn't as well thought of as Vivizepoop thinks it is. It also doesn't help the head exterminator is fuking Adam as in the ancestor of all humanity and the first sinner. I know in actual beliefs Adam did find redemption in God, but I wouldn't think enough to be made an angel because Angels biblically are purely created beings by God. Wouldn't he actually be vouching for more sinners to be saved since they are his descendants? It also doesn't help he's turned into a strawman misogynist because that's also original when depicting heaven.

And again revealing in the first fucking season that Charlie can visit heaven and that there is a war just reeks of rushed development. Instead of building up to it until probably the later seasons we are getting it all here, which makes you wonder what else can you do after that. After realizing that heaven isn't going to accept people in and having a war, where does it go from there. It really shows me Vivziepoop really doesn't think and just wants to get to the good stuff without earning it through slow development. This is why it's really going to be lackluster as heck.

Also it really feels like the focus on heaven will be like a shallow depiction thought of by one of those reddit atheists where they don't understand shit about theology but claim to be the best experts because they are former Christians. Just like with the goetia, she will cherry pick what she uses and then use her own interpretation. And from what I have seen how she interprets the sins, it's going to be a doozy especially if she does the cliche reverse and depicts all angels as evil with no depth.

All in all heaven is everything I was justifiably feared it will be and Vivziepoop will praised as so-called original when it's anything but that.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel critical #hazbin hotel criticism #hazbin hotel critique #anti-hazbin hotel #adam #lute #hazbin hotel adam

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fullsunstrawberry · 6 months

Text

PREVIEW

Love Beyond Labels

genre: slice of life, humor, fluff, angst, smut

warnings**: swearing, bullying, joke of “social suicide”, smut (more to be added)

word count: estimated 10k (preview 1k)

release date: December 10th

a/n: thank you guys so much for 2k followers AHHHH so i decided to post my first ever written fanfic…this took forever to write btw lol

taglist open! (18+)

"Ugh, I'm not ready for today's test," Jaemin huffed, plopping down beside you.

"Wait, there's a test?" you sighed, already predicting the outcome.

Mr. Moon whispered a half-hearted "good luck" as he handed you the test, before moving on and finishing handing out everyone else’s tests. He already knew how it was going to go. You hated how even the teachers knew you were stupid.

you were always an ugly crier, but it was okay cause you bought the most expensive waterproof makeup for these occasions. Only a quick bathroom stop is needed before meeting your friends for lunch.

As you were drying your tears you heard the door jiggle and then open. you quickly hid your face just in case it was someone you knew.

"Y/N?" a voice you didn't recognize spoke, interrupting your quiet moment in the janitor's closet.

Fearing the worst you cleared your throat before asking “What do you want?”

confused, you asked him “Why would you do that?”

“Well I don’t really have friends and I don't want to get picked on” he explained sitting down next to you, not having much of a choice because there wasn’t that much room.

"Oh, I'm sorry for bothering you. I'll just go," you said, preparing to stand up. But before you could, he quickly called out your name, making you look down at him.

“You can’t tell anyone this!“ You put your pinky finger up and put it near him. “promise?

“I don’t have many people to tell” he let out a small laugh while putting his hands up defensively. “promise!” he took your pinky finger in his

“okay” you nodded “I failed my psychology test today”

you looked at his face and he looked confused “What?” you questioned

“Oh it's just, you always fail your tests. Everyone knows that”

As he said that you felt the tears start to come back. Of course, he wouldn’t get it. Why did you ever think he would get it?

“I didn’t mean it like that, I’m so sorry” he panicked “I shouldn’t have said that!”

you turn away, quickly wiping away your tears again. “no I get it, I’m the dumb girl”

"No, no, no, that's not what I meant. Hey, want to hear something embarrassing about me? I'm only here because of a scholarship. That's why no one wants to be friends with me!" he confessed.

you start to giggle “That’s not embarrassing!”

“It made you laugh! But here is something actually embarrassing, my teacher forgot my name today. Even though I've had her for the whole year.”

Your eyes widen, feeling bad that you forgot his name.

“ahh you don’t know my name either”

you smile “If you tell me your name, I’ll forgive you”

“haechan”

“That's a nice name, haechan” You smiled at the way it rolled off your tongue.

“thank you, I have a proposition or a proposal”

“I know what proposition means” you teased

he giggled, “I’ll help you study”

your eyes lit up, “really? What can I do for you?”

he avoided your eyes and cleared his throat “Be my friend”

your eyes softened “That’s not hard, I was going to be your friend after this conversation anyways” You pushed his shoulder.

He finally met your eyes and smiled at you. “then you don’t have to do anything, friends help friends”

As the bell faintly rang, you pulled out your phone. "Here, give me your number so we can talk."

he paused for a second before taking your phone

standing up and thanking him before you quickly left to go touch up your makeup in the bathroom. Reminding yourself you would have to tell Jaemin you were sorry for ditching him and the guys.

#nct dream #nct dream x reader #haechan x reader #haechan smut #haechan angst #haechan fluff #nct dream haechan #haechan #mark #renjun #jeno #jaemin #chenle #jisung

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kim-seung-mo · 2 years

Text

𝔹𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕌𝕡 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝔾𝕖𝕥𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝔹𝕒𝕔𝕜 𝕋𝕠𝕘𝕖𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣 (ℍ𝕪𝕦𝕟𝕘 𝕃𝕚𝕟𝕖)

♩ gn!reader, angst with the slightest of fluff, romance, emotional, miscommunication, crying, cursing (in changbin's scenario)

♩♩ word count: 2.5k

♩♩♩ A/N: might do maknae line might not, idk lol, running out of ideas

wip list here maknae line here

Chan

Reason for breaking up: He thinks you deserve someone better

Chan had this hidden fear ever since the beginning when he chose to be with you.

He loves you very much, more than anyone else in the world.

But he believed that he didn't have time to be with you properly.

That hidden fear has been tormenting him silently.

Every time he sees the sacrifices you make because of him, he feels terribly bad.

He felt that if it was someone else, they could definitely make you happier.

And so, when he came home at four o'clock in the morning once again to see you sleeping on the couch, the guilt that had been suppressed inside him exploded out.

"Y/N, let's… Break up. It's not you who's not good enough, don't ever think that it's you …… It's me, it's my problem. I just don't think I could ever make you as happy as you deserve to be."

You have no idea how much courage it took for him to say that.

Separation time: three months, two weeks and four days

He remembered every day exactly.

He was the one who initiated the breakup, but it was also he who couldn't endure the feeling of loneliness.

He couldn't help but miss the days when he had you, couldn't help but look through his phone for everything about you.

Your photos, the text messages between the two of you, the voice messages you left for him.

But for three months, you never reached out to him either.

Maybe he was right, and you were indeed happier without him.

But it felt like a hole had opened up in his heart and kept bleeding out.

The thought, the fact that "you'd be happier without him" was killing him.

How you got back together: The members went to you

Although Chan himself did not come to talk to you, and always pretended that everything was normal in front of others, his members, who knew him best, saw him clearly.

Chan without you simply wasn't Chan.

The first people who couldn't take it were Changbin and Jisung, who needed to work with him to produce music.

The two of them called you one after another to ask you what was wrong with your relationship.

You answered them truthfully that it was Chan who wanted to break up with you because he felt that "you deserved someone better".

After a bit of conversation, you realized that you had completely misunderstood Chan's intentions.

You thought that "you deserved someone better" was just a euphemism.

You always thought he was just tired of you, tired of your normality.

You always thought that Chan was just too kind-hearted to say such words more straightforwardly.

You didn't even think that he actually really thought that you deserved someone better.

For you, he was the perfect one, and no one could compare to him.

No one could ever make you feel as happy as he does.

So, after learning the real reason for your breakup, you immediately went to him and told him what you really thought.

He cried for a long time, apologized to you, and explained how confused he had been.

You both agreed that from now on you had to tell each other about any emotional confusion, and the two of you would discuss the situation together.

Minho

Reason for breaking up: You thought he didn't love you

Even after being together, his attitude towards you didn't seem to be different from before.

It seemed that even though you became his lover, your place in his heart remained the same.

Apart from the addition of the title "lover", it was exactly the samel.

You wondered if he really liked you.

Did he really like you, or was he only using you as an excuse to avoid others?

What you didn't know was that it wasn't that he didn't love you, but that he didn't dare to show his love for you.

He thought you were in love with the "Minho" you knew, which is why he didn't dare to show any changes.

He only dared to kiss you secretly on the forehead and say his "I love you"s when you were asleep.

"Minho, I don't think we should continue like this."

When he heard you say that, he felt as if time had been paused.

"What does that mean?"

"I can't lie to myself like this anymore, let's break up."

He saw the sadness in your eyes, the love in your eyes seemed to have faded quite a bit, and suddenly he couldn't say a word.

He thought that it was you who didn't love him.

Separation time: five days

If Jisung hadn't taken five days to find out you two had broken up, this time might have been less.

He couldn't believe that you two had broken up.

"Did you bring up the breakup? Hyung, why? Tell me the reason."

"It wasn't me… It was Y/N."

Jisung's eyes widened, as if he was even more confused.

"Y/N wanted to break up with you? What on earth did you do to them?"

"I don't know, Jisung, I don't know. Y/N doesn't seem to love me anymore."

Jisung had never seen such a heartbroken expression on Minho's face.

He knew Minho wouldn't go and talk to you himself, so he had to do it for him.

How you got back together: Han Jisung talked to you for a long time

"There must be some kind of misunderstanding in this, you definitely aren't out of love with hyung, right?"

As you opened the door, before you had a chance to see who was in front of you, he had already opened his mouth and was talking in a rapper's pace.

You froze for a moment before realizing that he was talking about Minho.

You didn't know what to say, so you just told him "I don't want to lie to myself anymore".

He frowned and asked you what you meant by that, so you explained to him what had happened.

"I don't want to lie to myself and tell myself that he loves me, he doesn't love me at all."

"But Minho hyung told me that it was you who didn't love him anymore."

He then soon realized that the reason you and Minho had broken up was purely because of a communication problem.

He was afraid that if he changed and showed more love to you, you would feel uncomfortable and weirded out.

And you, on the other hand, have been expecting that change, wanting his love but not daring to ask for it.

That was how it turned out to be.

After learning this fact, you felt remorseful and hated yourself for not being more straightforward.

And after you found Minho to tell him your feelings, the way he looked at you changed instantly.

He removed all pretense and revealed his most genuine feelings.

His endless love for you, and a lasting kiss.

Changbin

Reason for breaking up: He was just mad at you and said it to scare you, but didn't think you'd take it seriously

You were fighting again over petty things, and this wasn't the first time today.

You both were a bit competitive and always wanted to prove each other wrong.

So whenever you couldn't agree on something, you would start debating.

He's been a little stressed lately, with little inspiration for composing, and after having an argument with you, his mood could be considered to have hit rock bottom.

"Seo Changbin! You're tossing your clothes everywhere again! How many times have I told you to fold your clothes properly or throw them in the laundry bin?"

He slammed his hat down in front of you with anger, glaring at you with red eyes.

"If so many things about me upset you, why don't we just fucking break up!?"

You happened to have experienced a lot of rough patches today, and the anger came rushing in.

"Fine! You said it! Let's break up! So I won't ever have to care about your bullshit ever again!"

You dropped those words and left, not even leaving him with a spare look.

Separation time: a few hours

He never actually admitted that you broke up, but out of fear of losing face, he didn't chase after you.

He thought this was a good time for you both to calm down.

But as he laid in the cold bed without you at night, he couldn't help but start thinking about what he would do if you really did break up.

Without you… He might not be able to live a normal life at all.

No kiss from you when he wakes up, no sharing of happiness with you, no hugs from you in times of distress, no cheering for him when he gets off stage…

He began to regret, you have already made so many sacrifices for him, why couldn't he give in to you a little on such trivial things? You were the person who loved him the most, so why did he always have to argue with you?

If you really broke up because of such a minor thing, he would have hated himself for the rest of his life.

Thinking of this, he picked up the jacket you folded for him aside and rushed out of the house.

How you got back together: He went straight to you to talk it over

Although it says "getting back together ", he simply did not approve of the breaking of your relationship.

He would not let this relationship end, absolutely no chance.

He knew where you would go when you were sad, so it took less than ten minutes to find you.

When he saw you wiping your tears, he felt his heart ache.

Because of his words, words that were never meant to be said, you were crying.

He wanted to slap himself, but you were the priority right now.

He came running to your side and put his jacket on your back.

"You know, I didn't mean any of that, right?"

You moved in the opposite direction, ignoring him.

"Y/N… scold me, hit me or whatever, just don't ignore me ……"

You glanced at him and frowned when you saw that he wasn't wearing a jacket.

"Why did you only bring me a jacket? Where's your own?"

He smiled when he heard your caring remark.

"I guess you still care about me. You were lying about the "never having to care about my bullshit" part, weren't you?"

You turned to face him, looked at the dark circles under his eyes, and reached out to touch them with a bit of concern.

"Have you not been resting well lately? Or is there something not going well at work? Earlier when you said you wanted to… Break up, it really freaked me out. Even knowing that you were just talking out of your ass to scare me, I …… I couldn't help but think that you were serious."

He grabbed your wrist and brought you into his arms.

"Of course I wasn't serious …… I love you so much, how could I ever actually want to break up with you? Besides, I've long been ready to be bossed around by you for the rest of my life."

Hyunjin

Reason for breaking up: You lied and told him you didn't love him anymore

You've been together since forever, since before his debut.

Your relationship has always been stable, never had more than a few fights over the years.

People around him say that he was a completely different person before and after he met you.

"Maybe that's the kind of change love can make in a person?"

He even sometimes felt that a large part of his success today was due to you.

You were there for him when things were hardest, and always stayed by his side to be his support.

So, when you told him "I don't love you anymore", his reaction was predictable.

Disbelief, disapproval, feeling that it was ridiculous, feeling that you were lying to him, crying, a lot of tears, crying constantly, feeling that the world was going to collapse down on him.

But your expression was calm, even as you watched him in pain, you didn't come up and hold him in your arms as usual, telling him in a gentle voice "I'm here, it's okay".

"Why?"

Although he didn't want to hear the answer, he asked anyway.

"It's just that… I don't love you anymore. When I'm with you, I don't feel love anymore."

He didn't understand why you had made it through the hardest times with him, only to choose to leave him when you finally saw the light at the end, when you could finally enjoy happiness.

Why? Because you were lying to him.

Separation time: 3 weeks

Hyunjin's life was turned upside down.

He couldn't seem to get up any energy to do anything.

He would still go to work as usual, practice dancing and singing, and stand on stage to perform to STAY.

But there was just something different.

It was as if, his enthusiasm had disappeared.

This was extremely frustrating for everyone.

He hadn't even touched his paintbrush for three weeks.

His room was always dark, and you could always see him lying on the bed, curled up in a ball when you went in.

If you listened carefully, you could hear the faint sound of sobs.

"What can I ever do when I can't even keep my beloved? How can I keep my fans?"

"Maybe I don't have charisma at all, otherwise how come Y/N would ……"

Every night he would have the same nightmare of what you said the day you left him.

Until……

"Hyunjin's recent performance has been really concerning…"

Hyunjin heard his name as he passed by a JYP office.

"Didn't you say that if you let them break up, he could focus more on his career?"

"I didn't expect Y/N to be so important to him!"

Hyunjin's pupils shrank.

"Maybe, it was wrong to talk Y/N into breaking up with him after all……"

How you got back together: Rushing to you and crying

It was raining heavily outside, but he still rushed to the apartment where you live without any hesitation and kept knocking on the door of your house.

The moment you opened it, he was already venting his feelings, saying to you in a voice you've never heard before.

"I knew you were lying to me! They made you break up with me, didn't they? They're the ones who-"

Before he could finish his sentence, tears came rushing to his eyes once again, he grabbed your shoulders and kept shaking them, wanting an answer from you.

You try to rebut him, but he spoke again before you could say anything.

"I heard them, I heard it all. They're wrong, Y/N, and you breaking up with me will only make me- only make me feel like I'm broken and can't function. I know you must still love me, you still love me, right? If you don't love me, why are you crying now?"

He hugged you tightly, and this time, he would never let go.

"Never again will you lie to me and say you don't love me …… I would rather die than have to admit to something like that."

permanent taglist: @zoe8stay @yutaalove @seungly @chewryy @cosmic-railwayxo @starlostseungmin

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