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tommyhollandaisesauce · 3 years

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Let Me Do The Work TEASER [t.h.]

MASTERLIST

Pairing: Tom Holland x Fem!Reader

Word Count: ?k

Posted: 11/16/2020

Warning(s): Fluff, smut, unprotected sex (wrap it up kids), oral sex (f receiving), maybe too much plot? and definitely a whole lotta lazy sex sue me.

Summary: Tom thinks you deserve a reward after a hard few days at work.

A/N: First smut in the bag lets go. Also, the point of view makes no sense but continuity is not in my vocabulary so. Anyway, the full part is almost finished so lmk how you guys like this!

When Tom got home on Wednesday night the last thing he expected his girlfriend to say was “Wanna have sex?” He had asked a few times before if you could and your response was usually something to the effect of “Sorry babe, another time, I’m just exhausted.” He knew your job was taxing and took a lot out of you and, frankly, Tom could survive the work week without getting any. He also knew that once Friday night rolled around it was all systems go; the weekend was yours to fool around as much as you wanted. And he was willing to wait.

Asking never hurt, though. Tom wasn’t annoying about it, at least he hoped he wasn’t. And for all the times you’d asked to have sex after he had a particularly exhausting day on set and he agreed, he didn’t feel super guilty about asking now and then.

It was unusual that Tom would be so exhausted from working that he didn't have any energy left to have sex. There had been some rare days when Tom could barely keep his eyes open even though you were right there, naked and sweaty, and riding his cock right on the living room couch. Your hands would be resting on his broad shoulders, your fingers digging into the muscles beneath his freckled skin as you bounced on his cock and his hands could barely stay put on your waist or hips to help you move. Sure, he liked watching you rise and fall on his lap and he liked seeing himself disappear inside of you and he liked the way your tits bounced with every movement and he liked watching your face. God, he loved your gorgeous face.

Your eyes would flutter open and closed the closer you got and you’d look at him with your big, beautiful eyes that were dark and lust blown and your jaw would go slack and you’d throw your head back in pleasure. Your movements would get sloppier as you’d start shaking and convulsing while you came. His arms would lazily wrap around your waist to pull you closer and you’d nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck, breathing hard against his skin as you came down from your high. But Tom couldn’t find it in himself to even worry about his own orgasm, he just wanted to sleep.

So when he came home to your shared flat around 7 pm from walking Tessa on a particularly boring Wednesday, now that he had a break, and saw you lying on the couch with a glass of red wine in one hand and your other arm thrown over your eyes, he figured it was pointless to ask. You had gotten home sometime while he was out, didn’t bother changing out of your blouse and jeans just yet, popped a bottle open, and poured yourself a glass.

Tom unclipped the leash from Tessa’s collar, allowing her to run free around the flat. Immediately, she trotted over to you, nuzzling your legs with her nose until you caved and gave her a few scratches behind her ears. Tom slipped off his sneakers, padding over to you, causing Tessa to run off in search of her favorite toy. The couch sank under his weight as he sat down next to your head, your eyebrows raised at the shift.

“Hey, stranger,” you muttered, removing your arm from covering your half-lidded eyes. Your eyes sparkled in the dim living room lighting as you looked up at Tom. He couldn’t remember a single time they looked dull. Not during a fight, or when you were sad or tired or sick, never. They reminded him of stars. No matter what, they kept shining.

“Hi love,” Tom leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on your wine-stained lips. The upside-down angle was slightly awkward, but you’d be lying if you said you two hadn’t done the Spider-Man Kiss before, per his request.

You smiled up at him as he pulled away and closed your eyes. Tom threaded his fingers through your messy locks and you relaxed, even more, leaning your head into his hand.

“Long day?” He asked, continuing to run his fingers through your hair.

“Don’t even get me started,” you huffed out, dramatically throwing your arm back over your eyes, which made Tom chuckle at your antics.

“Tell me what happened?” He asked, and as you lowered your arm, you raised a single eyebrow at him.

“You sure?” You asked cautiously, “Because I wouldn’t wish the shit I dealt with today on my worst enemy.”

Tom scoffed, shrugging his shoulders, “Try me.”

You sighed before beginning your story. Today had been insufferable. From the minute you clocked in, to the minute you clocked out, it had been hell. One coworker in particular, with whom you were not super close or friends with in any way, kept nagging you about your relationship like she did every single day.

The incessant questioning and probing was getting old and, quite frankly, rude. The questions started out harmless, like everyone else’s when they found out the Tom Holland was your boyfriend. Some asked for autographs or pictures and you declined, saying that if he ever came in Tom would be more than happy to do that. And Tom agreed; you playing messenger was weird and not the type of thing either of you wanted people to get accustomed to. And most people understood; except for one.

The more she asked the worse they got. Personal questions were the norm now. Questions about family members and life together and sex. God, the sex questions never ended. ‘Is it good?’ and ‘What are you guys into?’ were some of her favorites. Sometimes she’d get creative with them and switch them up. And every time, you refused to answer. And you relayed this information to Tom like you did most days, and he rolled his eyes in annoyance at her ignorance before leaning down and pressing a soft kiss to your forehead when he saw you were getting riled up.

You softened immediately and sighed. Tom had a calming effect on you. Just being around him was relaxing. After so long together he still could calm you down. And he was cheaper than your copay for therapy, so hey why not vent to him?

“Just forget about her for now, babe,” Tom sighed out, continuing to stroke your hair, “she’s not worth your energy.”

“You're right,” you said quietly, “I’m home, I got my wine, I got my boy, I can relax.”

“Exactly,” Tom said, laughing at your words. He didn’t feel the need to say anything else as you both relaxed, his fingers still threaded in your hair, until a few more minutes went by, your eyes opened, and you turned your head to make sure you were setting down your not yet empty glass on the coffee table.

A soft “hey” escaped Tom’s lips as he watched you use your arms to lean up and turn to face him. He would’ve spoken more but was cut off as your lips pressed to his, the kiss awkward since you had caught him as he was speaking. His lips were slightly chapped and he tasted like spearmint gum as you hovered over him and moved your lips against his.

Tom sighed into the kiss, bringing one hand up to cup your cheek. You clumsily clambered into Tom’s sweatpants clad lap to straddle him and his other hand sat high on your thigh. The kiss was slow and passionate, neither of you in a rush to go further just yet. You melted into the kiss as his tongue slid along your lower lip to ask for permission to enter. You parted your lips immediately, allowing Tom access. After a few moments of lazily making out like teenagers, you pulled away to catch your breath. You closed your eyes, leaning your forehead against Tom’s as you both panted, trying to catch your breath.

“Can we go to our room?” You mumbled, just loud enough for Tom to hear. Your voice was low, soft, and a little shaky from being so tired. His eyes opened at your words and his ears perked up. Tom pulled his head away from yours and your eyes returned to their half-open state.

“I thought you were tired?” He questioned teasingly, tucking some strands of hair behind both your ears and resting his hands on your cheeks. You reached up and wrapped your fingers around Tom’s wrists, smiling sweetly at him. He was sure his heart damn near melted in his chest at the sight of his sleepy girlfriend asking to have sex with him.

“I am,” you said softly, smirking as Tom ran his hands down your sides and settled over your hips, “why do you think I wanna go to our room?” You joked, wrapping your arms loosely around his neck and ducking your head down to place soft kisses along the side of it. He sighed, tilting his head in the opposite direction to give you more room as your fingers carded through the short, soft curls at the back of his head.

“You sure?” Tom asked breathily, as you continued laying kisses across his jaw and below his ear, “Because I don’t want you to do it just because I want to-”

“Tom,” you huffed, pulling away from his neck, your hands migrating to rest on his shoulders. He straightened up and opened his eyes as the feeling of your soft lips disappeared from his neck. “I’m sure. Now shut up and take me to the bedroom.”

FULL PART

A/N: AAAHHHH ok I mean I definitely put words on the page lol. Fr tho this is the first time I’ve ever posted anything so lmk if y’all want the rest! Feedback is always appreciated! <3

#tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland smut #tom holland fluff #peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker smut #peter parker fluff #tommyhollandaisesauce

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mymindwide · 3 years

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I’m gonna heal you

Pairing: Ashton x Female reader

Word count: 2059

Warning: none, this is full on fluff with one mention of a prevoius sexual encounter.

Summary: Your boyfriend fell sick, and you’ll see a side of him you haven’t before, while you two share cute moments because of it.

Author’s Note: It was written more than a year ago. Again something I didn’t think I’ll post, but here we are. :) (If you bump into any grammar mistakes, I apologise in advance, that’s because english is not my native language.) Nevermind, I hope you’ll enjoy it!

***

You have a very bad habit, but at least you’re getting better and better while practicing it.

For a while now when you wake up earlier than Ashton (which is almost every single day), and give him his morning kiss he doesn’t even notice it, and you like it that way. Whatever body part you can reach – it always depends on what position he’s sleeping in at the moment of your waking. Sometimes it’s one of his cheeks, sometimes a shoulder, his neck, his forehead. You couldn’t explain why it’s so important to you, maybe you’re just weird, and like watching and admiring him while he sleeps. Knowing how hard they work, it just feels good to see him not worrying about anything and just having a well-deserved rest, even for a few hours.

But this morning something didn’t feel right, not like usually. As your mouth gently touched his temple, his skin felt strangely hot against your lips. You knew you should check it again, but the thought itself made you sweat, because you were not sure he wouldn’t wake up this time. But you convinced yourself pretty quickly that it’s for the good of him, and if he runs a temperature indeed, he needs to wake up anyway to take something in as soon as possible.

You leaned back again and pressed your lips against his temple, and then you tried it with the back of your right hand while your left one checked your own forehead for comparison. Miraculously he didn’t wake up, or leastways didn’t show any sign of will to move or open his eyes, his breathing remained steady, although at this point you wouldn’t even care, because he definitely had fever. Murmuring a low “fuck”, you headed for the bathroom to pick up the thermometer and went back with it to the seemingly sleeping boyfriend.

“Sweetie, just keep it there and do not move, please. We have to measure your temperature” you put the thermometer in his armpit.

He muttered something with his eyes still closed, but on one hand, you didn’t understand, on the other hand you left him there to check what medication you have in the bathroom cabinet. You were happy to acknowledge that you were fully prepared for such disasters, albeit since you moved in with him, thankfully, you didn’t even need to open the medicine box.

You had a slight guess about the possible outcome of this fever measurement, therefore with quick steps you ran to the kitchen to make a tea for your newfound patient. Coming back you put the tea on the nightstand and reached for the thermometer to reveal the truth. 102,2 Fahrenheit.

“Double fuck” escaped your lips as you looked at the display of the digital thermometer.

“Do we have to? I’m not feeling too well” came a drawn-out groan from Ashton.

“No shit Sherlock…” but of course this assumption made you smile. “I wasn’t talking about wanting to fuck. I’m talking about you having a fever. 102,2 °F actually.”

“Oh” this seemingly woke him up as he pushed himself up on the bed.

“Whatever you were planning to do today with the guys, it is out of the question now. And take these in” dropping an antipyretic and painkiller pill on his palm you gave him the now not so hot cup of tea you’d made.

“Yeah I guess so. I’ll tell them” he said before swallowing the pills.

“I’ll be here if you need anything” you indicated the living room. “Lay back and try to take a rest or sleep back” you pecked his forehead.

You turned back from the doorway just to look at him once again, and the cutest sight caught hold of your eyes. Or leastwise your sick girlfriend heart considered it cute… he was sitting in the same position you left him a few seconds ago and just stared in front of him, wasn’t even blinking, you could almost see his brain still processing the info that he most likely got sick. End of the world. You felt for him, you really did, but he looked so lost it was cute. He looked adorably useless and that’s certainly something you have not seen him yet.

For you the bright side of the situation is that at least you really can be here and look after him, since last night you could cook while he was out with his friends. In the background you heard him run a shower.

“So much for resting… but at least it’ll help him cool that body temperature down a bit, so after all it’s not a bad idea at all” you thought.

You made yourself comfortable on the couch and already decided you’ll watch a movie that is entertaining enough to switch off your brain for a few hours, and you exactly knew which one is the perfect choice that meets your high expectations and requirements.

While you were considering your options Ash finished with the shower too and joined you in the living room wearing his leisure pants and a clean white t-shirt.

“Is everything okay? I mean besides the obvious.” you tilted your head back against the sofa backrest to look up at him.

“I have a headache and I start feeling my throat.”

“Sounds like the definition of miserable.”

“Right?! Thank you.”

“Would you like to join me?” you smiled at him grabbing a pillow from the couch that you laid on your lap tapping it a few times.

You didn’t have to ask him twice; picking up the plush blanket which is constantly lying at the end of the sofa he laid down, wrapped himself under the blanket; his head resting on the pillow in your lap, his posture facing the TV. Your fingers, as a pavlovian reflex, dived into his gorgeous hair, whisking away a few stray curls from his face.

“And what are we doing?”

“I was about to watch the greatest movie of all time.”

“The Pursuit of Happyness?”

“Nope, Avengers: Infinity War.”

“That Hiddleston again.”

“Hon, you know he’s going to be killed off in the 10th minute into the movie, right?” you had to laugh.

“Good. He deserves it.”

“What is it? Do I hear jealousy?” you got bloody happy and started enjoying your conversation even more.

“Abslttthhaa nauh” he mumbled something under his nose that reminded you of absolutely not.

"Last time I checked it's not him who's lying on my lap dying."

"Lucky for him, cuz that'd be the last thing he does..."

“Ashton, you’re killing me” you couldn’t contain your laughter.

“Wasn’t kidding.”

“I know” you grinned as your thumb stroked his cheek.

This new Ashton entertained you more and more. You leaned forward to blow tiny kisses on his temple and yoke bone leading a path to his ear.

“Also, last time I checked it wasn’t him who had his way with me on the kitchen counter the other day…” the tip of your nose brushed his ear as you whispered and the mention of your latest lovemaking made a smug smile spread across his face. “And do you know what else I remember?! I remember moaning a three letter name, but it wasn’t Tom… help me out… oh wait, that’s it, it was Ash...” you were trying to add a slight annoyance to the tone of your voice.

“Convinced enough?”

“I have no strength to disagree” reaching back for your right hand to take it in his, he towed it to his lips and planted a kiss on your wrist. Without saying anything he interlaced your fingers and just pulled it to his chest. As if his grumpiness had been cut off, he nestled a bit to find the perfect and most comfortable position, then got fully relaxed and your left hand slipped back into his hair to caress and massage his scalp, to play with his soft black locks.

“Alright, play it, I want to see if he resurrects for the millionth time” he egged you to press the play button to start the movie.

“Oh, we’ll see…” you smiled insinuatingly.

“You’re just joking, right?” he turned his head upwards to look at you. “No, you’re not. They just can’t get rid of that guy, can they?”

“Get comfortable baby, two and a half hour fun just awaits for us” you winked.

Although you watched the movie together, you were pretty sure Ash's thoughts were going somewhere else since you weren’t even like 40 minutes in, when he started playing with your fingers. Your eyes jumped back and forth from the TV to your hands, but eventually your attention ended up on what he was doing. His fingertips grazed your palm and fingers with slow, tender and deliberate moves; it felt intimate like never before, as if he touched your hand for the first time, he went from finger to finger, as if he wanted to get to know and memorize the shape of your hand, the feel of your skin.

Your first thought was “if he won’t stop I’m gonna cry”. But he didn’t stop and eventually and surprisingly you did not cry either, although this scene undoubtedly made you quite emotional, because you haven’t seen him this cuddly in a long time. He’s an affectionate man, but definitely not a clinging one. And you really enjoyed this situation; sometimes you crave this kind of attention like air.

A few more minutes have passed during which your focus returned back to the screen. You felt his hand stopped playing with yours, and with his eyes closing shut he turned over and nuzzling his face close to your belly he fell asleep pretty quickly. Getting your right hand back, now it could rest on his waist, while your other hand could keep caressing his hair, neck, shoulder, just with extra carefulness not wanting to wake him up.

By the end of the movie he still laid on your lap breathing smoothly, and watching him made you think about him being such a positive force. Not only in your life but so many others’, as well. Family, friends, members of other bands whom they met only sporadically… You loved listening to their stories about Ash being nice and thoughtful and polite. That’s how he treats people in general, even strangers. It’s so effortless for him, yet you have no idea how he does that. Always thinks about making others happy, but is he happy? Do you make him happy? You can only hope, because he deserves the world. At this point, an unpleasant feeling put a stop to your train of thought.

As much as you didn’t want to do it, and wished to stay like this forever, it was time for you to stand up since you started feeling your legs getting numb after sitting stock-still for the last two and a half hours.

“Ash” leaning over his face you started caressing his cheek with your nose.

Your technic was clearly successful, because he slowly turned over nuzzling his nose against yours demanding more contact. You kissed his cheek, his nose, the corner of his mouth, while he enjoyed the love showering on him.

Soon your lips met in very light kisses that became needier with every touch from Ashton’s side, as you felt his tongue brush over your upper lip. Your heart ached but you had to pull back an inch ending the connection between your lips resulting in a dissatisfied moan escaping his lips.

“Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but if we go into this deeper, you may risk losing your nurse to a deadly disease” you whispered smiling on his lips.

“I’ll make it up to you… in a few days… when I get better” he said sleepily.

“Make up for what?”

“For the canceled double fuck.”

“I can’t with you, Irwin. I swear to you I’ll lock you up in the bedroom until you sleep enough.” you had to laugh tho.

“But you love me.”

“Yes, yes I do. What a correct observation.”

“Good, because I love you, too.”

“I’m glad to hear it. Now come Captain Obvious, let’s sleep a bit more.”

And with this you took his hand in yours and led him into the paradise of peacefulness that is your hospital room for the next few days.

#ashton irwin #ashton irwin x reader #fanfic #fic by me #fic time #fluff

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inkdheart17 · 3 years

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One thing I hate most is being judged, accused, and/or scolded without being confronted. I know the things I've done weren't always great, but i also know that I've never done anything so bad I would later regret it.

Yet, it seems that more and more people seem to think that my silence means I'm guilty. It definitely doesn't. If I decide not to speak of an event, then it's probably because I was the victim, and I'm still hurting.

The most recent big event that's causing a lot of issues for me is a falling out with a person I used to think of as a best friend. I had trusted this person with... Well, everything. I always went out of my way to help them feel comfortable about who they were and tried my best to boost their confidence. I felt that it was necessary, as a friend. I thought all friends did that to each other. Little did I know that very few did that to me.

I didn't need it as much, thankfully. I have my sister, who's my own personal hype man. My mom also supports me. We may be closer than most families i know, but my mom and I aren't close enough for me to come out to her. About anything, actually. Still, i trust her with most things. So, I never needed my friends to truly be there for me. Except once.

I had just broken up with my first and to this day only boyfriend. I had been extremely cautious on who I accepted to date because I was acutely aware of how toxic people could be. My own father and his family being a prime example of that. I had already given up on trying to date someone when I noticed my feelings for my ex. We went out and after the honeymoon phase, I began to notice how similar he was to my father. I became anxious. I tried to reach out and instead was cut off.

Many of the people around me don't know the details. Not sure if I want to share them anymore either. But I'm writing this to vent and hopefully help someone else that went through a similar experience.

You see, the break up didn't hurt so much because he left. It hurt because I lost so much because of him. I lost his family. Whom I had gotten very close with as he refused to ever visit my family. So, we only ever went to his place. I lost my friends, because some of them refused to interact with me after he left. And I lost my peace. My anxiety was once again in control and I was fighting hard to keep everything together once again.

This was the one time I begged for support from those around me, and I quickly found out who to cut off from my life.

At the time, I had moved in with friend A and coworker B, who was dating another guys friend of mine at the time, C. They all faked being supportive at first. Telling me I should just ignore my ex and forget everything. He was never worth my time. Things like that. I had actually called C the night my ex broke up with me. I thought of C as my brother and all I wanted was for my bro to come over and comfort me. He didn't. He had things to do early the next morning and was in bed with B. So, neither of them were going to be there for me. It was only A who kinda distracted me with a drive, but she was so quick to add venom into me. Almost as if she wanted me to hate my ex. Which I did for a while. But it wasn't until I spoke with my still best friend, J, that I found the support I needed.

While all this was happening, i was struggling to finish my final semester before graduated with two bachelor's degrees. You can imagine the kind of stress I was going through as I was also fighting with the University to keep my scholarships for one last semester so that I could graduate. The funny part is that J knew exactly how I behaved. He knew the difference between the times I kept our talks short because I was busy, and when I kept our talks short because I was in distress. He asked me to hang out with him for a day. A day he could've easily filled up with catching up on school work, or being with family, or even spending time with his girlfriend. I still feel very touched remembering how he decided to try and help me instead. All because I didn't react like usual.

He didn't push me to say anything, but my ex came up in conversation and I had to tell J that we weren't dating anymore. That then spiraled into how pressured I felt with school and how unsupportive my roommates and C were being. I told him how A would react aggressively when were alone. Straight up calling me a bitch for ignoring her when I had homework to finish, but would then cry and say I was the abuser as I had blocked her on everything whenever B and C were around.

I told him how I had turned to B in hopes of getting advice, as she shared a room with A and would probably know what was going on with A. Instead, B had told A about all the negative things I said in a fit of rage and never once mentioned how I did want to fix our relation, but A had really destroyed my trust in her and had (has) yet to apologize. I told him how my ex would ignore me on dates and would only pay attention when we were physical with each other. Which made me want more physical interactions despite my general apprehension due to past trauma. And how my ex unceremoniously texted me that he was done because I got mad he wouldn't pause his game for like 5 minutes just to hear me out during an anxiety attack.

J calmly took all this in and advised that I move out. Not back in with my parents, but that it may be inevitable for me at the time. Then he warned me not to bottle up my hatred for my ex cause it would make me hate men in general. And I tried not to, but that hatred started with my dad. So, when C blocked me out of the blue, with no confrontation what so ever, I lost all the trust I had left. I mean, if the guy I thought of as a brother would rather listen to two women who know nothing about me just cause he's dating one of them, then how low were my standards? Why was it so easy for me to get betrayed? It happened with A, it happened with B, it happened with C.... And now he's happening with another friend, D. Who has yet to respond to any of the text messages I've sent her and has now started to hang out with A.

I once again turned to J. Asking if it was normal to feel hurt when a friend was still friends with someone who hurt you. J agreed it was painful but that ultimately I had to remember that they were their own person and that they were going to make their own decisions on what relationships to keep.

I felt discouraged but knew he was right.

As I type this up, I've had to pause a few times to wipe away tears. I think they sting when you feel a bit if anger when crying. Not sure.

Anyways, all this is to say that you'll never be free of selfish assholes. You'll live with them, you'll work with them, you'll move in with them, you'll befriend them, and nothing I say will help prepare you for the pain you'll feel when they reveal their true colors and destroy some part of you. Still, you should never change because of them.

I've given up on dating and friends because of these new experiences topping old traumas. I've been groomed, molested, raped probably, psychologically and emotionally manipulated and abused, all before entering seventh grade. I can't remember my childhood thanks to dissociative amnesia. So, instinctively, I no longer trust humans. It's a lovely existence and despite having won this battle before, I'm looking at suicide once again and am having to remind myself that I've already been through hardships. That all will be fine again. It's just a matter of time now.

But, fighting suicide is almost impossible without help. Without support. So, if you find yourself stuck with toxic people, with selfish assholes, with treacherous friends, cut them out.

We don't need them. They're a cancer that feeds off your good intentions and then blame you when they've dried your soul. It'll hurt a lot at first, but eventually, all will feel better. You'll find peace again. Maybe you'll connect with an old friend who'll always be there for you, like I did with J. Perhaps your siblings will be your own hype man like mine is. Maybe your relationship with your parents will get better like mine is with my mom. You'll finally start feeling better about yourself and try things that cancer wanted to steal from you. I've just gotten through a job interview and hopefully I'll be working at the office I've been trying hard to get into some time next week. Perhaps you'll also take the next step in your career?

So, to by fellow disappointed-in-humanity victims, sometimes it takes swimming in shit before being able to relax in a healthy mind. Take off those rose tinted glasses. Harden your heart and cut out people you know are hurting you. Don't listen to them, and if they take others with them, know that they also aren't worth your effort.

I would much rather be alone than be with a friend who believes I abused another person without ever talking to be about it. That's a person who'd rather believe your abuser than try and figure out why you would ever dare hurt someone. You don't need them.

I probably should like a bitch. Trust me, I get it. I often feel like I'm too harsh and that I should just unblock people to settle things down again. But you know what? I was very complacent and unmotivated when I had the people I blocked on my life. And now that I cut them out? I'm taking my first steps to establishing a career here in my town. Which is arguably a very hard town to settle in as a non-retiree.

Free yourself. Cut them off before they bleed you out

#sad but true #you need to know #toxic people #victims #toxicity #personal crap #advice

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hollyxqx · 4 years

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best kept secret // kihyun // oneshot

↪ PAIRING: Reader/Yoo Kihyun ↪ SUMMARY: You've been in a secret relationship with your brother's best friend and bandmate for a year now, becoming a pro at hiding it from the world. It's going well and you're happy...until you find out you're pregnant. ↪ WORD COUNT: 5k ↪ WARNINGS: mentions of abortion | sex | angst

"How are you feeling now?" Your boyfriend asked you, his voice soft and caring. He gently brushed some hair that had stuck to your damp forehead out of your face and kissed the top of your head. You had barely made it to the bathroom in time to throw up your breakfast, cursing the seafood you'd eaten the night before. Kihyun had laid with you on your bed while you recuperated, the nausea slowly washing away.

"Slightly better," You sighed. "Really wish I hadn't eaten that crab though."

Kihyun just smiled and held you tighter in his arms. Although he was your boyfriend, moments like this were rare, where you could just be like any other normal couple. Today you were taking advantage of the fact that no one was home and you two would have a whole 24 hours to yourselves. Your very protective older brother with whom you shared an apartment with had gone away for work, leaving you free to be with Kihyun. "Let me know if there's anything I can do." He murmured.

"I love you," You said, closing your eyes and nestling into his neck.

"I love you more." He replied, like he always did whenever you said that to him. Just as you were enjoying this nice moment, your phone rang, the familiar jingle ruining the atmosphere. You whined in frustration as you rolled over to pick the device up.

"It's Jooheon." Your brother. Kihyun stiffened next to you. Although it was impossible it almost felt like Jooheon could see you two in this moment and he felt guilty for even touching you. "Hey bro." You answered, taking the call. You sat up on the bed, moving away from Kihyun.

"Y/N!" Your brothers voice came down the line. "You good?"

"I'm all good. Just hanging out by myself, enjoying the quiet now that you're gone." You lied. This had become so normal, so natural to you now. Your relationship had been a secret for so long now that the lies rolled off your tongue easily. It had been your idea not to tell anyone that you were dating your brothers best friend because you know he wouldn't approve. Kihyun had a reputation for being a bit of a fuck boy. You know now that's not true, of course, but you also know your brother would kill him for even looking at his sister.

"I'm glad." Jooheon replied sarcastically. You could practically hear the eyeroll he would no doubt be giving you. "I was wondering if you would pick me up from the airport tomorrow?"

"Of course." You replied automatically. "Is that all you wanted?"

"That and to tell you Kihyun and Shownu are coming over tomorrow, if that's ok?"

"Kihyun and Shownu are coming over?" You repeated. Kihyun looked up at you at the mention of his name, eyebrow raised. "That's fine, I'll make myself scarce." Kihyun smirked, knowing that he'd be sneaking into your room a lot tomorrow.

"Thanks, I gotta run now though. I'll see you tomorrow." Jooheon said. You said your goodbyes and hung up the phone, feeling a little guilty. You hated lying to him but it was for the best.

"It scares me how good I am at lying to him." You sighed to Kihyun, settling back into the position you were in before the phonecall.

"I know what you mean, I hate it." Kihyun agreed.

"Do you think he'd ever be ok with the idea of us?" You asked, a tinge of sadness to your voice. You'd spoken with Kihyuhn so many times about just biting the bullet and telling Jooheon, everyone, about you. You were in love and happy together. What could be so wrong with that?

"Are you kidding me?" Kihyun scoffed. "Remember the time I accidentally called you beautiful in front of him and he slapped me?"

You laughed as you remembered that incident. You were at a family wedding that Kihyun had been invited to as well. You'd made an effort for the occasion, dressing up in a beautiful gown in a colour you knew Kihyun liked on you and he couldn't help himself when he saw you. Unable not to call his girlfriend beautiful, it earned him a not so playful slap on the cheek from your brother. Imagine what he would have done if he knew that Kihyun had fucked you in the bathroom later that night. You dreaded to think.

"I wish he wasn't so over protective sometimes." You replied, laughter dying away.

Kihyun shrugged. "He cares about you, it's understandable." He rolled on to his back and pulled you on top of him, kissing you as he moved. "Are you feeling better yet, because we haven't had sex in a week and I'm dying here. Even just cuddling you is getting me going."

"Kihyun!" You exclaimed and he grinned at you. Your boyfriend's sex drive never failed to amaze you. He rolled his hips up, pressing his erection into you, driving his point home.

"I missed you," He mumbled, pulling you in for another kiss. These stolen moments with him were your favourite and you wished you could pause time just to relish in it a little longer. At the back of your mind you knew this couldn't continue forever, this secrecy and lying. It was already starting to wear on you. You just didn't want to ask yourself the one question you would eventually have to. How long could this go on for?

♥

You threw up again the next day, feeling slightly embarrassed that it occurred when Shownu and Kihyun were over. You exited the bathroom and walked to the kitchen to get some water. The boys were hanging out in the living room and you walked quickly, hoping to go unnoticed. It didn't work.

"Y/N?" Jooheon called out to you. You stopped and looked at him, giving him what you hoped was a convincing smile. "Were you just sick in the bathroom?" He asked. Your eyes flicked over to Kihyun and you could see concern in his eyes and he frowned a little.

"Uh, yeah, I think I've got food poisioning." You stuttered. They'd heard you.

"Are you alright?" Jooheon asked, looking a little worried but you brushed him off with a wave of your hand.

"Yeah! Of course, I'm totally fine. It just needs to work its way out of my system." You replied.

"Good," Jooheon said, letting out a puff of air. "Thought you were going to say you were pregnant." He laughed and you froze. The idea had never even occurred to you. You'd been on birth control that stopped you getting a period so you didn't even think pregnancy was a possibility. You racked your brain, feeling slightly panicky, trying to work out whether you had any pregnancy-like symptoms. The vomiting was definitely one, but other than that nothing at all. "Y/N, you're scaring me." Jooheon's voice cut through your thoughts, bringing your attention back to reality. "You're not pregnant right?!"

"No!" You forced out a laugh, hoping it sounded light and natural. "There's not a chance in hell I am!"

"I'm not ready to be an uncle," Jooheon laughed. You muttered something about going to get water and left the boys alone, deliberately avoiding eye contact with Kihyun. You knew the second he saw your eyes he'd see the panic in them, he knew you so well how could he not? You didn't want to worry him.

As you sat in the kitchen, sipping your water you made the decision to buy a pregnancy test. Just to be on the safe side and put your mind at ease. Although you were almost certain it would be negative it would be good to know for definite.

The boys were so busy playing some sort of game on the tv that you managed to sneak away easily, heading to the store to buy the test. You bought two just in case, having learned through google that sometimes the first test isn't accurate. You quietly let yourself back into your apartment, hiding the tests under your sweater, hoping not to be caught. However, you were alone. You figured they must have gone out. Infact, you were a little relieved to be able to do this privately.

You walked to the bathroom, tests in hand, reading the instructions. You peed on the sticks, feeling awkward and uncomfortable, but it had to be done. You washed your hands while you waited for the results. You were nervous now. Really nervous.

The time wasn't up but you peeked at the results anyway, gasping loudly when the word pregnant had already appeared. How is this possible? It had only been about thirty seconds. The other test was still inconclusive. You picked up the positive test with shaky hands and stared at the words, wishing them away.

You were absolutely not prepared for this. You felt frozen, almost like you were dreaming. A few minutes more passed and you checked back to the other test, dropping it in shock when it had turned positive too.

It was official. You were pregnant.

♥

It was a week later when you finally got round to seeing your doctor. The doctor confirmed the pregnancy with a blood test, somehow making it seem even more real. She even did an ultrasound to tell you how far along you were and when the words 10 weeks fell from her lips you felt faint.

10 weeks. That was a long time. Nearly 3 months.

The first thing you did when you got home was immediately go to your room and open up google, typing in ten weeks pregnant in the search bar. You discovered that a baby was roughly the size of a prune at this stage. Your hand immediately went to your stomach, as if you could feel what was inside there. All this time something was growing in there and you had no idea. Someone was growing in there. The thought made you feel strange.

You hadn't said a word about any of this to Kihyun. Mostly you were scared. You didn't know how he would react. Would he be happy? Would he be angry? Would he want you to have an abortion? It made your stomach knot with anxiety. Kihyun was an idol for god sake. He wasn't even allowed to have a girlfriend let alone a child. This could ruin him and that was the last thing you wanted.

A knock on your door made you jump. You hastily closed the browser and shouted "Come in!" Your heart lept when Kihyun stuck his head round the door, a wicked grin on his face. "Kihyun!"

"Jooheon's gone to the store, so I'd say we have about 30 minutes." He smirked, stepping into your room, closing the door behind him. He strode over to where you sat and paused for a second, having noticed your expression. "Are you ok? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"I'm fine," You said unconvincingly. Kihyun eye'd you suspiciously.

"You don't look fine." He frowned. "I thought you'd be happy to see me, I haven't seen you in over a week." He pulled you up to your feet, bringing you in to his arms. He pressed his forehead against yours, gazing into your eyes. "Is my baby girl not happy to see me anymore?" He said with a slight smile, knowing it wasn't true. He kissed your lips slowly, teasingly, knowing it would make you melt. You reached for him when you felt him pull away and he smiled into this kiss, his trick worked.

"I'm always happy to see you." You mumbled against his lips. He deepened the kiss, squeezing your body tighter against his. His tongue was in your mouth now, the sensation making you forget everything other than kissing him. He was always such a good kisser.

His hands went straight to your jeans and undid them. "We have to be quick." He said in between kisses. He pushed the denim along with your underwear down your legs. "Jooheon will be back soon."

You were in a daze. His hands on your body and mouth on your neck were making your mind foggy. He sucked two fingers in to his mouth, coating them in saliva before sliding a hand between your legs. "Kihyun," You groaned when he rubbed the pads of his fingers over your clit. His hands went back and forth as he sucked and kissed your neck, the pleasure dizzying.

"Sit up here," He said, guiding you to the edge of your desk. He helped perch you on the table and positioned himself between your legs. "Fuck, I've missed you." He said, fingers going right back to touching you. He slipped two digits inside you and pumped them slowly. You moaned. "So tight," He murmured. "I can tell you haven't had my cock in you in over a week." He looked up at you with a smirk.

His words brought you back to the present and you remembered you needed to talk to him. "Wait," You panted breathlessly. "We need to talk - ugh." You moaned out loud when he squeezed one of your nipples in his free hand, right hand still moving in and out of you. "I need to talk to you." You said, but it came out as more of whine as pleasure spread throughout your body.

Kihyun was just grinning at you, enjoying watching you squirm at his touch. "I wanna play with you more but we don't have much time." He undid his jeans and pulled his cock out of his boxers. He stroked it up and down before gripping the base and pushing the blunt end against your entrance. He closed his eyes in pleasure as he pushed into you. "Shit," He breathed. He hooked his arms underneath your legs and brought them up so he could get deeper in to you. Slowly he started to move. "Oh baby girl. Fuck, you feel amazing."

"Ki," You whined as he stretched you out. He felt amazing, as usual, knowing exactly how to fuck you to have you panting and crying beneath him. Before long you reaching your orgasm, legs trembling as the waves ricocheted through you. "Fuck me harder Ki, I want you to cum for me." You whispered, knowing he was close too.

"How badly do you want my cum?" He asked between pants. He was barely handing on as well, having not fucked you in a while. "Huh?" He squeezed your ass so hard that it hurt. "Answer me, little girl."

"Fuck Ki, I want it! I want it badly! Harder!" You cried out, unable to stop yourself. It was a good thing you two were alone in the apartment.

"You asked for it..." He was driving in to you hard and fast. A few thrusts later and he was spilling into you with a groan. "I fucking missed you." He said, out of breath, kissing you on the forehead.

You peeled away from each other and began to clean up. Once you were back to a semi normal state Kihyun wrapped his arms around you and sighed in to your hair. "I love you, Kihyun." You said, closing your eyes and relaxing in his arms.

"I love you more." You smiled at his words. "What did you want to talk about?" He mumbled in to your hair.

Fear hit you instantly. You'd got so carried away because you missed him you had forgotten you had asked to talk. You pulled yourself out of his embrace. "I need to tell you something." You were just going to do it. It was the only way. Like ripping off a plaster. Quick and hopefully painless.

"Uh oh," Kihyun joked with a little smile. "This sounds serious."

"It is." You said.

His expression changed at the tone of your voice, realising you weren't joking around. "What do you need to tell me?"

"I went to the doctor today..." You trailed off, searching for the right words. You'd never had to tell anyone something like this before. Kihyun's brow furrowed at your words, wondering where this was going. You took a deep breath. "I'm pregnant."

He was frozen for a moment but it felt like hours for you. "Are you serious?" He said quietly. You nodded, not wanting to speak until you could truly gauge his reaction. "How is that possible? You - we - we're careful?!"

"No birth control is 100% effective." You sighed.

"I can't believe this." He let out a deep breath, hands going to his hair. "That's why you were sick last week?" He asked and once again you just nodded. "Jesus christ." He slumped down and sat on the edge of your bed. "How far along?"

"10 weeks." You walked over and sat next to him.

"Fucking hell." He said. You reached to grab his hand but he pushed you away making your heart sink. He was quiet for a few moments before he spoke again. "I can't have a baby, Y/N."

"What are you saying?" You asked, your voice small and insignificant.

"I'm saying, I can't have a baby." He finally looked at you. "You know what that means right?"

He wanted you to get an abortion. "N-no! I can't do that!" You spluttered.

"So you'd rather ruin my life, my career instead?" He scoffed. You felt a wave of anger wash over you. He was being selfish, a streak you knew he had in him but rarely saw.

"What about my life? My career?" You retorted. "I'm the one who has to actually have the baby!"

"Exactly! Think about that! Nobody knows we are even together, how can we have a fucking baby? Be logical here!" He was getting louder now and you prayed Jooheon hadn't returned from the store yet.

"I'm not getting an abortion." You said simply. Kihyun sighed shaking his head. "I can't, Ki. I really can't do that." You felt hot tears hit your cheeks, you hadn't even realised you were crying.

"I can't be involved then, Y/N." He said quietly. "I'm an idol. This won't just ruin me it will ruin the band. I can't do that to them. This is not something that can be kept a secret. Some hospital worker will see my name on the birth certificate and it's over."

"Then go, don't waste a second longer on me." You were crying louder now, sobs choking in your throat. Kihyun looked wounded at your words but he didn't move an inch. "Get out!" You screamed. He hesitated. He didn't want to break up and he knew that's what leaving meant. "I'm serious, I don't want to even look at you right now."

"Please think about what I said." He said quietly before he did what you asked and left you crying, alone in your room.

♥

It was easy to avoid Kihyun after that. He had tried to speak to you a few times but you ignored the calls and texts. It physically hurt your heart to do so but you knew he didn't you or your baby. That thought kept your will strong. You still cried about it, the pregnancy making your emotions even more intense, but the thought of meeting your baby kept you going.

Jooheon had hit the roof when you told him you were pregnant. Of course you didn't disclose who the father was, claiming it was a boy he didn't know that you had been dating. He was even angrier when you told him this made up boy wanted nothing to do with the baby. Eventually you calmed Jooheon down and he came around to the idea, realising there was nothing he could do to change the situation.

You were now 5 months pregnant. Of course you were showing quite visibly but you were able to hid it well enough so that strangers couldn't tell. Not that you minded if they could, you just were still adjusting to your growing body.

Monsta X had left for a 2 and a half month tour not long after the day you and Kihyun broke up. Of course you kept Jooheon updated about the baby, showing him scan pictures and texting him when you reached milestones, like the baby kicking. He was excited and couldn't wait to see you in the flesh.

Today was the day you were dreading. You were picking Jooheon up from the airport and that meant seeing Kihyun for the first time since you split up.

"Y/N!" You turned your head at the sound, seeing Jooheon practically running towards you from the arrivals gate. He reached you and pulled you in for tight hug. "Look at you!" He exclaimed, his hand instantly going to touch your belly. You were wearing a tight summer dress because it was hot and it emphasized your bump. "You're so big!"

"Are you calling me fat?" You teased, poking him in the chest.

"Yes." Jooheon laughed and you smacked him playfully. "I missed you kiddo." He grabbed your hand and started tugging you somehwere. "Come on, let's go see the guys, they're going to die when they see you."

You didn't have a choice. You couldn't tell him why you didn't want to see them so you somehow forced your feet to move and you followed your brother through the airport. The first person you saw was Shownu and his eyes widened at your appearence.

"You're so pregnant!" Shownu gasped and you laughed. "Can I touch?" He asked. You nodded. He reached his hands out to your bump and as if on cue, the baby started kicking. "Oh my god! I can feel that!" You smiled at Shownu's reaction.

"Let me feel, let me feel!" Jooheon was already pushing Shownu off you. Out of the corner of your eye you could see Kihyun watching but you didn't dare look at him. "This is crazy!" Jooheon was laughing.

"Do you know if it is a boy or a girl?" Shownu asked.

"A girl." You replied, looking down shyly. You'd found out recently and although you would have been happy either way, it was still exciting.

"You're having a girl?" A small voice interrupted and you froze. You knew that voice anywhere. It was Kihyun. You forced yourself to look at him.

"A baby girl, yeah." You nodded. "Are you ready to go?" You asked Jooheon desperate to change the conversation.

"Yep. Let's get going kiddo."

♥

To your discomfort Jooheon had invited all the boys back to your place, which meant more time with Kihyun. As you hadn't seen them in a long time it would have been weird for you to hide away in your room so you sat in living room with them, doing your best to ignore Kihyun. You sat in between Shownu and Jooheon on the couch, talking and just hanging out.

"I can't wait to meet you, baby girl." Shownu was fascinated with your bump and when you told him the baby could hear him he insisted on talking to it, making you laugh. In a way it made you sad because it should have been Kihyun getting to do this things, and you felt like you were missing out on those nice moments.

"Oh my god, leave her alone." Jooheon was rolling his eyes at Shownu.

"It's cute!" You defended, nudging your brother.

"I'm going to be the baby's daddy. I've decided." Shownu joked, smirking at Jooheon.

"You will fucking not." Jooheon warned.

"I'm gonna marry Y/N and be her baby daddy." Shownu further provoked, enjoying getting a rise out of his friend.

"Can I call you daddy too?" You asked Shownu, knowing it would really annoy Jooheon.

"Of course." He grinned, giving you a wink.

"Alright!" Jooheon yelled and you and Shownu cracked up. "I'm going to throw up! Enough!"

You tried to get up off the couch but it was difficult. "Here let me help you." Shownu was quick to get to his feet, letting you take his hands and hoist you up.

"Thanks," You smiled up at him. "I'm just going to pee. The baby's been kicking my bladder for the last half hour." He laughed and let you go. You waddled down the hall and to the bathroom. As you were washing your hands the door opened and you looked up in surprise, locking eyes with Kihyun in the mirror. "W-what are you doing?" You gasped.

"What the fuck are you doing?" He shot back. His angry tone confused you. He hadn't even said a word to you all night.

"Excuse me?!" You raised your eyebrows at his attitude.

"You're just going to flirt with Shownu, right in front of me, yeah? While you're pregnant with my baby? Are you some kind of slut or what?" Kihyun whispered angrily, not wanting his voice to carry down the hall.

"What the hell Kihyun! We were just joking!" You said and he rolled his eyes. "Why do you even care? Last time I checked you didn't want me or my child. At least Shownu cares."

"Yeah clearly, his hands have been all over you the minute he saw you." He scoffed.

You didn't want to deal with this. You tried to move past him but he blocked your way. "Move, Kihyun." You warned.

"You think it's easy for me to see you like this?" He asked. Now it was your turn to roll your eyes. "I'm fucking serious! It fucking hurts!"

"You only have yourself to blame." You replied coldly.

"Y/N," He stepped closer to you. "I'm so sorry about how it all went down." You hadn't expected him to say that. "I'm sorry. You have no idea. I've barely been able to sleep these days. It's all I think about."

You felt a pang of guilt. It's not like you magically fell out of love with him. Positive thing or not you still cared. Now that you were looking at him properly you noticed he looked thinner than usual. "What do you want me to say to that? No worries, it's all forgiven, goodbye?"

"I don't expect your forgiveness. I don't deserve it." He took another step closer to you. "I want you to know I love you though." Your stomach lurched. He stepped forward again, now you were close enough to be touching. "Can I feel?" He asked, referring to your bump.

You gulped and nodded. It was his child after all, he had the right. As soon as his hands went to your belly the baby flipped over and he gasped, before smiling. "Sorry," You muttered, somehow feeling you needed to apologise.

"Don't be," He breathed. "Wow, that's amazing." It felt amazing to have his hands on you again, even if was just on your stomach. He rubbed his hands over your belly and the baby turned over again. "Hi baby," He said very quietly to your bump. You wanted to cry, this is the way it should've been.

"I missed you, Ki." You said, tears welling in your eyes. You cursed your hormones. He looked up at you and as soon as he saw you crying his hands cupped your face, wiping away the tears.

"Sh, hey. Don't cry. I missed you too."

Before you could even register what was going on, Kihyun leaned forward and was kissing you. The sensation of having his mouth back on yours was wonderful. It felt so natural, so right, like that's where you belonged. You couldn't help yourself, you were kissing him back desperately.

"What the fuck!"

You pushed Kihyun off of you and practically jumped away from him. Behind him Jooheon stood in the doorway, a look of utter shock on his face.

"Listen, Jooheon, it's not what - " You started to splutter, panicking.

"It was you, wasn't it?" Jooheon was looking at Kihyun, his voice deadly. "You are the father of that baby."

"Jooheon," Kihyun said slowly. "It's not what you think."

"How could you do that to my sister?!" Jooheon was shouting now. "Get her pregnant then abandon her! What kind of man does that?"

"We are in love!" Kihyun shouted back.

"That's a fucking joke." Jooheon scoffed. "I can't believe you lied to me. I never thought you would do anything like this. That's low."

"Just let me explain - " Kihyun started but Jooheon raised his hand.

"Get out of my house. Now."

Kihyun looked at you and Jooheon. He wanted to deescalate the situation, so with a sigh he left the room.

♥

As bad as you thought Jooheon's anger was towards you, Kihyun definitely got it worse. The band weren't even practising together any more after Jooheon nearly came to blows with Kihyun. On the plus side though Kihyun was being the soon-to-be dad you wanted him to be and doting on you. It felt surreal to be back with him like that.

"Let's get married." He said to you one night, lying next to you in bed. You'd taken to staying at his place as a way of avoiding your brother.

"What?!" You half laughed. "You're an idol, you can't dummy."

"It'll be a secret." He grabbed your hand and kissed the top of it. "I want to be a real family. I want our baby to have my last name."

"Our baby can have your last name anyway. We don't have to be married for that." You pointed out.

"I want you to have it too." He smiled, looking at you softly. "I love you."

"I love you more."

"Here, I got you something." You watched him curiously as he leaned up on his elbows and reached into the drawer of the nightstand. He pulled out a small black box and tossed it to you. "Open it."

You opened the black box and gasped. Inside was a beautiful diamond ring. "It's gorgeous." You breathed.

"Marry me, Y/N." Kihyun took the box back and removed the ring. He grabbed your hand and looked at you expectantly.

"Ok," You said with a laugh. "Let's get married."

♥ Jooheon eventually came round once you announced that you and Kihyun were engaged. He saw how sorry Kihyun was and how serious the relationship was, realising that maybe you were in love, that it was the real thing. He even apologised for acting so angrily to Kihyun.

"Uncle Jooheon, someone wants to meet you." You called as you walked in to the apartment. You'd given birth to a healthy baby girl and were excited for her to meet all your friends and family. Kihyun was carrying her allowing you to unlock the door.

"Oh my god," Jooheon cooed when his eyes fell on the sleeping baby. "Can I hold her?"

"Of course." You replied. Kihyun bundled the baby in his arms and passed her over to Jooheon who was smiling ear to ear.

"She's gorgeous, Y/N." He said to you, gazing at her. "She looks just like you."

"I think she looks like Ki." You said with a smile.

"No way, she's beautiful, it's all her mom." Kihyun said, making you blush.

"I agree with Kihyun." Jooheon said with a laugh, rocking the baby. "I'm so happy for you guys."

"That means a lot, Jooheon." Kihyun said, placing a friendly hand on the younger man's shoulder. You were just happy to see them friends again. "Really."

"Just don't lie to me again you guys, or I won't baby sit." Jooheon said, smirking at you.

"Promise." You answered.

Looking at the happy scene before you made your heart swell. It was hard to believe that a few months ago you felt scared and anxious about your future as a single mother. Now you were going to be a wife. You couldn't believe it. When you first met Kihyun you never thought you'd start dating, let alone have a family together. As Jooheon and Kihyun fussed over the baby you felt happy tears burn your eyes. The future was bright and you ready for it.

masterlist

#monsta x fanfic #monsta x smut #monsta x fanfiction #kihyun fic #kihyun fluff #kihyun fanfic #kihyun fanfiction #monsta x oneshot #kihyun smut #monsta x fluff #angst

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dvlwthn · 3 years

Text

“ we’re one with the sea . ”

Is that NOAH CENTINEO? No, that’s just ATLAS LAVEAU. They were born on 09/05/96 and are a MERMAID living in Northknot Town. They work as a SWIM INSTRUCTOR at Good Vibrations Gym. Some say they're PROTECTIVE and INTELLIGENT, but I’ve heard others say they're EMOTIONAL and BLUNT. When you think of HIM, don’t you think of SUNSHINE AFTER RAIN, OCEANS SO BLUE YOU CAN’T LOOK AWAY, LOYALTY SO STRONG IT CAN’T BE BROEKN?

A E S T H E T I C

swimming to the bottom of the ocean . peace in the silence . the sound of clicking from a keyboard . mind always wondering . leaving words of poetry behind everywhere . carrying a notebook around for no one to see . stopping in the middle of something to write something down . unbreakable loyalty . kind smiles , forgiving nature .

Q U O T E S

“ you must always remember this : have courage , and be kind . you have more kindness in your little finger than most people possess in their whole body . and it has power . more than you know . ” – brittany candau. “ i see myself forever and ever as the ridiculous [ person ] , the lonely soul , the wanderer , the restless frustrated artist , the person in love [ with love ] , always in search of the absolute , always seeking the unattainable . ” – henry miller. “ i’m with you in rockland . . . where we are great writers on the same dreadful typewriter . ” – allen ginsberg .

M U S I C P L A Y E R

“ and i can't sleep . i'm up at night , you're in my ear and i'm alright . i’m trying not to put it on the line . and i am so tired of losing sleep . i just want to keep you around . you make me feel alright . you make me feel alright . you make me feel like everything is gonna be just fine . ” just fine by spookyghostboy. “ je veux de l'amour , de la joie , de la bonne humeur . ce n'est pas votre argent qui fera mon bonheur . moi je veux crever la main sur le cœur . allons ensemble , découvrir ma liberté . oubliez donc tous vos clichés bienvenue dans ma réalité . ” je veux by zaz. “ sometimes there's bullshit that don't work now . we all got our stories but please tell me what there is to complain about . when you're happy like a fool , let it take you over . when everything is out , you gotta take it in . oh , this has gotta be the good life . ” good life by onerepublic.

P E R S O N A L I T Y

+ intelligent, protective, and kind

- sometimes too optimists, blunt, and emotional

atlas has been through a lot of hurt. however, unlike most people he hasn’t let it change him. people take his kindness as a weakness but he see’s it as a strength... that he won’t let anyone change him no matter how cruel they can be. he wants to believe that people aren’t all bad, sometimes he tries a little too hard to believe that. but he isn’t naive either when it came to what he expected from other people. the man isn’t oblivious, he just likes to try to have hope. to not expect the worst from people until they give him no other choice to. sometimes, he also can’t help himself and is a little blunt. he never does it to be rude or hurt anyone’s feelings... it’s just he is protective and will call someone out on something in order to protect them. also the little pretentious writer in him sometimes makes him unable to stop himself from just saying certain things as they are.

H E A D C A N O N S

001. atlas henrik laveau never knew his father, not that he ever cared about that. the boy was a huge mama’s boy. his mother was the strongest person he knew. growing up with only his mother, and his two step sisters. . . atlas grew up seeing the strength in women and couldn’t be prouder of his family. 002. however, being the only boy, atlas did always want a little brother. and he found that in a young boy whose family lived near his. it started with him just being asked to watch the young boy (eric) but eventually turned into him adoring the kid like his little brother. his family and friends all know how atlas saw the young boy and welcomed him themselves as well. 003. atlas prided himself on learning as much as he could on anything and everything. about his world under the sea and the world above. human, vampires, werewolves, witches, etc. he wanted to be ready for when he moved to the land above, it was always part of his plan. plus, he wanted to help his hybrid best friend as much as he could. 004. when he was younger, atlas’ favourite thing had always been writing and telling stories. he was always a creative person and enjoyed sharing all of his ideas. due to this, atlas was known for always thinking outside the box. 005. he ended up going through a hard time when eric was killed. it had been a day that he was asked to go watch the young boy, but he couldn’t do it. so eric’s parents moved their day around and stayed with him. atlas had finished his day early was was going to go surprise the boy and maybe offer to help out so the parents could do whatever else they could. however, when he arrived, he found the entire family had been murdered. atlas took it really hard and blamed himself. he even stopped talking for a couple of months. he spoke to NO ONE and the only person who could get some type of reaction out of him had been his best friend. 006. at the right age, atlas wasted no time in getting his ring so he could travel above land. he didn’t make the move just yet, cause he wasn’t fully ready to leave his family. but mars and him traded off on who was visiting who. he loved the land and wishes his family felt the same, but they loved the ocean too much. so he stayed for awhile longer before eventually making the move all together. though he does visit his family still. family is everything to the man. 007. he’s currently working at the gym as a swim instructor, but he only does that while working on his book. everything is looking well for him, he already has publishers who want to work with him. he just needs to make a choice and small changes to his book that he feels he didn’t write correctly. he’s very excited about what’s to come.

C O N N E C T I O N S

BEST FRIEND. these two grew up together and have always been close. they’ve always seen each other as family and don’t keep secrets from one another. atlas knows he can tell mars anything and never be judged, just like she can do with him. [ TAKEN ; marcelline ]

CLOSE FRIENDS. these would be the people he goes to that isn’t mars. probably someone who is a little more like him. at least in the sense where they are more kind and forgiving compared to most of the people in town. they could meet when atlas got to town and kind of just hit it off. or just sometime since he’s been around and just grew close kinda quickly. i just want him to have a couple of people he’s really close with. [ 1/2 (could be down for three) ; tabitha ]

CO-WORKER. ever hear of a work wife/husband? that’s what this person is to atlas. they are very close and are always there to help each other. their other co-workers tease them about acting like a married couple at work, but it really is just a platonic friendship. [ OPEN ; xx ]

EX GIRLFRIEND. i would really love one of those obvious jealous exes who broke up with their boyfriend due to him being so close to their best (girl) friend. so this person, whom atlas loved so much, really didn’t like how close atlas was to mars and grew tired of people making assumptions about him and mars. it eventually got to the point of them telling atlas to pick between them and his best friend. they didn’t realise how much atlas actually LOVED them. now, however, atlas can’t see them the same and they act very bitter toward each other. [ OPEN ; xx ]

CRUSH. someone atlas has a bit of a crush on. they don’t need to return the feelings. this is just someone he really admires but never acts on his feelings because he doesn’t want to ruin their friend ship. *bonus points though if they do return his feelings and they are thinking the same way he is. that they are worried about ruining the friendship too. [ OPEN ; xx ]

EX BOYFRIEND. they were friends first and things kind of just happened. it was one of those relationships that just made sense. however, after a few months, this person decided they just wanted to be friends. while it hurt atlas, he understood and agreed. yet since then, the two are just awkward around each other. atlas still has a soft spot for this person and wishes they could actually be friends again. [ OPEN ; xx ]

DISLIKE. atlas tried to get along with everyone, he really does. but this person just DOESN’T like him and atlas isn’t too upset about it. they rub him the wrong way anyways. or maybe it’s vice versa. . . atlas can’t stand them? they rub him the wrong way and he just CAN’T see past it. [ OPEN ; xx ]

#nktintro #a. laveau: intro #species: mermaid #tw: murder #/i'm only five months late with this one #lol

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shallwedancetogether · 4 years

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HEARTBEAT

Chapter Nine

They began passing the joint in between them. “I’m not much different, though I do tend to get a lot needier than I already am. Or so I’ve been told.” He stated as he took a puff as well and then blowing the smoke out of his mouth. “I’ve smoked some weed once that gave me energy for a little bit. That was quite the ride, let me tell ya. ‘Twas called Cotton Candy. I could not stop bouncing my legs up and down while I was sitting.” They both chuckled to themselves, as Hannah could picture Harry doing so in her head. “It was a weird feeling because the weed was also making me very sleepy. I didn’t know what to do with myself!”

Hannah continued to laugh with Harry, “That would definitely be quite the sight to see, that’s for sure.” There was a moment of silence between them. “Thanks for inviting me, Harry. It’s been amazing so far, and it’s only my first day here.”

“I’m always happy to be have you around.” He paused momentarily. “I’m glad we get to experience our first music festival together.” Harry’s cheeks turned a light pink as he realized the words that just came out of his mouth. He scolded himself, Don’t forget she has a boyfriend, Harry. You’re treading in hot water with those words.

Harry passed Hannah the joint, and she took a puff. She blew it in Harry’s face as she said, “Me too.” She too was slightly surprised by what she just said.

Hannah giggled as Harry coughed a little, which made Hannah cough too from all the laughing she was doing. “You’re the worst for that.”

The smoky substance was beginning to make Hannah’s body feel tingly and light, and her emotions seemed to be somewhat heightened. She passed the joint as she yet again ran her fingers through Harry’s hair, which had more knots in it than before. “No, I’m not,” she smiled at him.

He took his last puff of the night, offering more to Hannah, whom shook her head no. He put out the joint in the ash tray next to them on the bedside table. “No, you’re not the worst.” He hesitated on his next sentence, and before he realized it, the words were already coming out of his mouth. “You’re probably the best person I know, Han.”

She smiled at him as she continued to play with his hair again after he sat back down next to her. “Oh, you’re just saying that.” Hannah’s hand slid down to Harry’s cheek, and he leaned his face into her hand.

“No, I’m not. You’re one of the sweetest, most loving people I know. I’m glad I know you.” As he said this, his hand moved from his lap to the middle of Hannah’s thigh.

Hannah looked down as he began to move his thumb in circles on her leg as her hand was now also resting in her lap. “Harry, this feels like it could be leading somewhere. I don’t know if this is a good idea….”

He sighed. “I’m sorry, I can’t help it. You looked so good today. I just wanted to be able to put my arm around your waist so I could have you closer to me. But I will do my best to refrain.” He paused. “I don’t even know why I’m saying all of this out loud. I need to stop doing this.”

Hannah knew that kissing Harry again while she was still with Ryan was very, very, very wrong. But in that moment, it felt so, so right. She also knew she was under the influence of marijuana and alcohol, and so was he. Though he had just said he’d refrain from intimate actions, Harry had already moved in closer to her as if he had read her thoughts—inches away actually. “Harry, we aren’t thinking straight. We’re both high. We can’t do this. Plus, you just said you’d hold back.”

“Fuck, I know, but I have also felt these things when I’m sober.”

Hannah sighed, not wanting to reveal how she was really feeling to him. But she hates holding in her emotions. “Fuck…Me too…”

Harry was staring at her lips, until she said that. He looked into her eyes, and there was something about her in that moment that he couldn’t resist. He couldn’t put a finger on anything specific. Maybe it was just… the… everything about her. He looked back down at her lips, and she did the same to him, watching his actions very carefully. “I can’t help myself around you…. It just feels so natural…” He trailed off as he inched closer. Her body mist was overwhelming his senses. He let it consume him. His hand felt like it was on fire as it laid upon Hannah’s thigh. Her body too was radiating heat all over. She looked so perfect, and her eyes were so inviting.

Their lips brushed against each other, and Hannah gripped tighter onto the silky cuff of Harry’s short sleeve shirt. Suddenly, Hannah felt a surge through her body as Harry kissed her, almost in a rushed kind of way. Electricity felt like it was going through Hannah’s body as their lips touched. Her heart rate picked up, feeling it beating in her chest. One might even be able to hear it if they were close enough, and Harry definitely was.

There was a sense of urgency between the two of them. Harry had grabbed onto Hannah’s hips to pull her closer and set her legs to hang over his lap. She had one hand on his shoulder, gripping it, while the other was playing with the hair that rested on the back of his neck. They continued like this for a while. Harry slipped his tongue into her mouth, and it felt like it was all over from there, like there was no stopping them. He felt invincible as he held her in his arms again.

They continued like this for a while until they began to hear more voices outside as people were making their way back to their campsites. Hannah pulled her lips from Harry’s, leaning their foreheads against one another. They were both slightly panting, which turned into small giggles.

Hannah sighed, still feeling the high of the weed and the high of kissing Harry. “Fuck… This is so wrong… but I don’t feel bad.” Hannah sighed. “And I should feel bad.”

Harry pulled back to look Hannah in the eyes. “I should say, ‘I’m sorry, this is all my fault’ since I’ve initiated the kiss both times. But I’m not sorry. I’m not sorry one bit.”

A sheepish smile and a deep red blush came across Hannah’s face. “It’s not like I didn’t kiss you back. We’re both guilty here. Probably me more than you though.”

Harry moved his head side to side as he slightly shrugged his shoulders. “Eh, I haven’t been completely honest you.” Hannah gave Harry a look of confusion. “I’m also kind of still seeing Camille…”

Hannah shook her head with a smile, “So we are both equally as guilty. What’s going on with you two then?”

“Well, honestly I don’t really know. I asked her to come with me on tour with me for a bit, but the longer I was around her the more I didn’t want her to be there, kinda started to get annoyed.” He sighed as he tried to collect his thoughts. “She’s a great girl, and we get along really well. We’re definitely great friends, but I feel nothing. There’s no spark, and nothing I do seems to ignite it, not for me at least. We don’t have very many common interests, just mutual friends it seems. We sometimes run out of things to talk about, and I feel really awkward.”

“Have you told her any of this?”

“Well… Not exactly… We haven’t really spoken in a couple of weeks.”

“So, what does she think is going on between you two then?”

Harry shrugged his shoulders, “I honestly have no clue. We never really discussed it; there’s no label, as far as I’m concerned. We were kind of just hanging out, getting to know each other, especially since we were away from each other all the time. She’s met my family and such. But we never fully discussed our relationship. The tabloids just assumed she was my official girlfriend.” There was somewhat of an uncomfortableness hanging in the air between the two. Neither of them wanted to think about anything outside of their tent, outside of them. But they had to. They were both currently hurting people as they spoke, as they kissed. They were both thinking the same thing, but Harry said it out loud first. “What are we even doing here? What is… this?” He gestured his hands back and forth between them.

Hannah chuckled, “Uh… I have no idea. I don’t know what we are doing. I don’t even know if this is a good thing or a bad thing. All I know is that I’ve cheated on my boyfriend. Twice.”

Harry sucked in a sharp breath and deeply exhaled, “Yeah… I guess I’ve cheated on Camille twice now too.”

If it wasn’t uncomfortable before, it definitely was now. Their minds were racing at what to do, but neither of them knew. Neither of them wanted their time together to end, but they both knew that they might end up the same way as before. The weekend would soon come to an end, and there’s a chance they’d never see each other again, if they were being honest with themselves. That’s where Hannah’s mind went anyway. “Maybe we shouldn’t carry on with… whatever this is for any longer…” The words came out of her mouth almost as a whisper.

“Maybe….” Harry hesitated to continue, but this could be his only chance to talk about this. It was probably at most a minute of silence, but it felt longer to both of them. Harry decided to say what was on his mind. “But I also really feel something between us. I don’t think I’m going to be able to let it go. It feels so easy and natural with you, even in Detroit after having not spoken in so long. There always needs to be a spark between to people for anything to last. It feels like a fire with you, and a great one at that. I don’t want to let that fire burn out again.” They still sat on the edge of the bed, shoulders touching. Harry was playing with Hannah’s hands, as if this might be the last intimate moment they ever share again.

Hannah stood up from Harry, pulling away. “This is a lot to think about all at once. I think we should take a pause. Go to sleep, collect our thoughts, and come back to this.”

“Sure,” Harry replied slightly disappointed, but he understood. “Is your offer still valid? To sleep in the bed?” He asked shyly.

Hannah smiled, “Of course it is, you are paying for this tent.” They both chuckled, and with that, the two got ready for bed and drifted off to sleep. It was awkward sleeping in the same bed, but neither left to sleep on the floor, wanting to be as close as they could without violating anymore rules. Both ached to be held in the other’s arms but knew it was wrong.

*****************************************************

Masterlist

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fallafl · 4 years

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What to Read: Summer, 2020

Summer is here! I am seriously hoping this summer won’t be as hot as the previous year. I love hanging out under the sun, but burned skin is the worst. Whoever invented sunblock is an angel.

Anyway, I gather up some books that you might find entertaining to accompany you during the season. I’m thinking of something light-read with a touch of mystery, some series that will make you book drunk, a swoon worthy romance (because who doesn’t love a summer romance? Maybe you’ll find one yourself), and travel-friendly standalone novels (if we’re allowed to travel at all hahaha). I hope you find something that catches your interest!

Basking in the sun while reading sounds wonderful now. Oh and definitely with a watermelon smoothie as company. How are you going to spend your summer? Wherever you are, have a joyful one! And always stay safe :)

1. Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell

“Eleanor was right. She never looked nice. She looked like art, and art wasn't supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something.”

Rating on Goodreads: 4.07

Genre: Fiction, Young Adult, Contemporary, Romance

First Published: 2012

I read this book long ago, but my love for it is unwavering. It’s so simple yet so meaningful, about an ordinary boy who loves an ordinary girl. It all started when Eleanor sat side by side with Park in a bus one morning. They began to exchange idle conversations about movies, music, and whatnot, then continued to sharing mix tapes and so on. Little did they know, they fall for each other. It’s not only the kind of first love romance where you’re shy and insecure about the way you act in a relationship, but also a story that pushes you to feel good about yourself. Ah, it’s really great!

Read more about it on Goodreads here.

2. After Dark by Haruki Murakami

“Time moves in it special way in the middle of the night.”

Rating on Goodreads: 3.07

Genre: Fiction, Magical Realism, Fantasy, Asian Literature

First Published: 2004

Believe it or not, I just finished this book for the fourth time. The story brings me an indefinite feel about night time. It’s in third point of view, the chapters are divided based on time, telling you a late night escapades of a 19-year-old girl in Tokyo. Mari is always insecure whenever she compares herself to her gorgeous, fashion-model sister. One night, she didn’t feel like going home, so she spent some time at Denny’s, reading a book. There, as if by fate, she met a boy, Takahashi, her sister’s friend, whom she first met two summers ago but barely recognized. That night marks the very first time they actually talk. I personally love all their dialogue. It’s very unique, simple, and very relatable. Also, you probably aware that Murakami is famous on his surrealistic plot and he did amazing in such a sleek novel. There’s romance and mystery inside, making it hard to put down. Well, a friend of mine told me she finishes it in one sitting. Worth it.

Read more about it on Goodreads here.

3. The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky

“We accept the love we think we deserve.”

Rating on Goodreads: 4.20

Genre: Fiction, Young Adult, Contemporary

First Published: 1999

This is an old novel, a very famous one. Adapted into a good movie. I am sure most of you have watched it. Charlie, the protagonist, shares his insecurities, his joy, his questions about life in a series of letters to whoever read them. As a quiet high school boy, the drama about friendships and family are surely inevitable. As we grow up, the struggles are getting real and more complex. Chbosky has created one timeless coming-of-age novel that is somewhat relatable to us, or at least it makes us reminisce about the good-old days. That’s what makes it interesting. I feel like I want to color the whole book in highlight because there are many good quotes written here.

Oh right, I already did.

Read more about it on Goodreads here.

4. Crazy Rich Asians Series by Kevin Kwan

“Just because some people actually work for their money doesn’t mean they are beneath you.”

Rating on Goodreads:

Crazy Rich Asians (Book #1): 3.85

China Rich Girlfriend (Book #2): 3.83

Rich People Problems (Book #3): 3.94

Genre: Fiction, Romance

First Published: 2013, 2015, 2017 respectively

You know, the books left me in awe because the crazy rich’s life is completely unfathomable. My jaw-dropped the most on the fact that everything about it is real (I mean their abundant, totally-unrelatable-for-a-poor-peasant-like-me lifestyle). Wealth beyond imagination is showering upon these Asians families which becomes one of the sources of their inevitable existence of discrimination. So in other words, reading this series gave me insight on these rich people’s life and culture; especially what Asians parents are looking for in a son/daughter-in-law. Rachel Chu, the female protagonist, an American-born Chinese, is such a heroine and I love her (mostly because she handles the insane situation so gracefully). She came from an ordinary background. Having no idea that her perfect boyfriend, an eligible bachelor, Nicholas Young, comes from one of those rich family, she found herself caught in family dramas when she finally visited her Nick’s family in Singapore.

Read more about it on Goodreads here.

5. The Infernal Devices Series by Cassandra Clare

“Sometimes, when I have to do something I don't want to do, I pretend I'm a character from a book. It's easier to know what they would do.”

Rating on Goodreads:

Clockwork Angel (The Infernal Devices #1) : 4.33

Clockwork Prince (The Infernal Devices #2) : 4.45

Clockwork Princess (The Infernal Devices #3) : 4.58

Genre: Fiction, Fantasy, Romance

First Published: 2010, 2011, and 2013 respectively

A series totally worth reading if you love romance. Yes, there’s love triangle in it, but trust me, it’s absolutely unpredictable. You can’t even bring yourself to choose side! I had a hard time thinking about whom the girl should end up with so I decided she should marry them both if she could. Will, Jem, and Tessa oh how can I ever get my mind out of them. This short review turns out to be a brief fangirl moment LOL. Well, I guess you can tell how much I love The Infernal Devices now. I have written a review about this though, you can check it out in this link.

Read more about it on Goodreads here.

#Book Recommendations #summer books #eleanor and park #after dark #the perks of being a wallflower #crazy rich asians #the infernal devices #book blog

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scientia-rex · 5 years

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Overly long life update

Today I helped take out a big hunk of jejunem. Je... jejenum??? oh god I haven’t had to spell this in a while. Hang on. Jejunem! I was right. Thank god. Anyway, sometimes this rotation feels a lot like med school, in that I don’t have to write a lot of notes (I’m rounding on a couple of patients per day but the attendings do NOT give a shit), and I’m in all the surgeries I want to be instead of stuck doing floor work like the interns in my program last year (or like surgical interns).

Unopposed programs are great. I mean, there’s something to be said for the camaraderie you can develop with residents in other programs who are also suffering greatly, but being family med means that in a hospital with other residency programs you’re always fighting someone for experience.

The jejunem had a big, super nasty abscess with a lot of mint-green purulence that was definitely toothpaste-y in texture. It started out more like traditional pus (white, gooey) but something bad had clearly happened to it. Mesenteric abscess. Still not sure why she looked like she was dying--maybe it subtly perforated somewhere--but anyway, it was a cool case and I got to be with my favorite attending, who I would marry if she and I weren’t both already married. I also don’t know if I could make her be into me! But I’ve always liked a challenge. Most boring part of being married: no longer the opportunities to try to make someone want to sleep with me.

I’m on call, and it sucks but the fun thing is this is Surgery call and I’m not first call. Sure, if there’s a consult or a surgery I’ll probably get called in, but I’m not getting bugged about everybody’s fucking bowel regimen! That goes right to the attending! This program/rotation is topsy-turvy from EVERYWHERE ELSE in that respect. When I’m on Medicine call it’s me, and I hate it, and I hate it with a fiery all-consuming passion that makes me seriously reconsider my commitment to rural medicine, but Surgery call is comparatively much less hellish unless there are stacked overnight surgeries, which has been known to happen (but not, so far, to me).

Not looking forward to rounding tomorrow morning and operating real early on the gallbladder case my weekend call attending didn’t want to operate on until the pancreatitis got a little bit better. I’m getting so tired of gallbladders. I’ve seen so many of them and STILL only, like, three appendices, total.

Anyway!!!! I’m on an unceasing rollercoaster where I can never decide whether I’m grateful and happy or suicidally rage-filled. I love a lot of things out here. I also realized earlier that one of the receptionist people in the surgery clinic building is a girl who was my “best friend” (ish) in 9th grade until I stole her boyfriend (he was, of course, AWFUL) who I drifted apart from after high school until we “reconnected” on Facebook (where she made disparaging comments about my butt in one picture I posted) and then she said something super pissy and weird and I unfriended her. She had like a whole conspiracy theory about how I’d ruined her life. I was like, look, I stole ONE boyfriend, ONCE, and told some people a weird thing you said about sex, that is NOT a conspiracy. And that boyfriend was so terrible I technically did you a favor. Very #MeToo memories from that guy. “Didn’t meet the legal definition of rape!” is not the same thing as “positive, healthy relationship.”

So moving home is a MIXED BAG. Very mixed bag. I was not an uncontroversial figure at the sixth to twelfth grade level and I’m frankly alarmed that I agreed to a teaching event for students up at the high school because there’s a decent chance I’ll run into a) the teacher I asked out after I graduated, and THAT would be very awkward since I then ghosted him and have since come to see him not shooting me down as yet more manifestation of the gross entitlement of men, or b) someone else I don’t even remember I have weird awkward shit with until I see them. Like the Physics teacher I made cry by eating my notebook while maintaining eye contact with him.

I’m a lot, guys. I’m like a lot a lot. Always have been and I assume I always will be. Me with a scalpel is honestly the chillest manifestation of me yet. I have generated fewer enemies since settling down, but only because I value my partner’s feelings enough to not sleep with anyone else and therefore have stopped stealing other people’s significant others/romantic opportunities/complicated friendships. (I had a roommate once give me holy hell for sleeping with her bisexual friend when SHE wasn’t bisexual and wasn’t going to sleep with the friend but was VERY invested in being the only women her bisexual friend was in love with! I was like FUCK YOU SHE’S CUTE AND SHE CLIMBED INTO MY BED! and slammed out the door and went to buy a loaf of bread. And on the way ran into the guy on whom I wasted two years of my life because he was B E E F Y and had long curly hair, which is A Theme for me.)

(.......I stole WAY more than my fair share of people back when I was single and free to ho around. But really, if your significant other is that easy to steal, you should know that before you invest heavily in them. I never went after anyone who was married or who had a kid. That was a bright line.)

(Anyway, it’s not like it’s not my FAULT moving home is complicated, but WOW is it ever. My husband’s ex-girlfriend is coming back to town and there’s an article about her in the paper and while I suspect he’s over that, since it was fifteen years ago, part of my brain is still jealous!!!! Absurd! Yet true!)

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heartbreakstyles · 4 years

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SUPERPOSITION

chapter one;

oc x harry

SUMMARY— ORION SOMMERS HAS MANY WAYS OF DOING THINGS. WHEN SHE WAS JUST EIGHT SHE WAS PLACED IN AN ASTRONOMY CLUB UNWILLINGLY BY HER MOTHER, WHOM THOUGHT IT WOULD BE BENEFICIAL FOR HER SHY DAUGHTER. SHE LOVED CELESTIAL OBJECTS FOR MANY REASONS, ONE BEING THEY ALL LOOKED THE SAME, BUT ON THE INSIDE THEY WERE DIFFERENT. ONE COULD BE HOTTER OR OLDER THAN THE OTHER AND SHE THOUGHT HUMANS WERE JUST THE SAME. SHE SOON CAME TO FIND THAT HER FAMILY WHO LOOKED LIKE EVERYONE ELSES WAS DIFFERENT, JUST LIKE THE STARS. THROUGHOUT HER LIFE SHE FOUND THINGS OUT THE HARD WAY, BY BEING CURIOUS. FOR INSTANCE, WHEN SHE WAS FOURTEEN SHE FOUND HER FATHER PASSED OUT IN HIS STUDY WITH A NEEDLE IN HIS RIGHT HAND, AT LEAST THE FIRST TIME IT CAME AS A SHOCK.

She walked through the pouring rain, she of course had to forget her umbrella today. Her hair was frizzed up after she took the time to straighten it. She was annoyed with the weatherman at this point. She grabbed the blue beanie out of her bag and placed it on her head. She lived about five minutes from the coffee shop that her and her friends met at weekly, but the rain was causing traffic on the sidewalk. She had been out of town the previous week, so Alex thought the group lunch should be a day earlier in celebration of her return. There was really no reason for the weekly meetings since they all usually saw one another any other day of the week, but it was still good to see everyone at once. They always went to the same small cafe, it was cute. Run by and older lady and her grandson, whom they never saw.

It had a certain homey feeling that kept the group coming back each week. It might’ve just been the record player in the corner and the amazing cinnamon rolls, but it was a very welcoming place. Orion was in her second year of college, and she was very glad she found a place like the cafe. She continued walking down the sidewalk hoping she wasn’t the last one there, which was usually the case. She turned the corner and was only a few feet away from the warm building. She saw her friends in there already from where she stood. “Shit.” She breathed out.

The bell rang above her head when she walked through the door, and the smell of coffee and cinnamon flooded her nose. “Hello dear.” Mary, the owner of the cafe, spoke from the counter. “Good afternoon.” She spoke and smiled in her direction. “The usual?” Mary wrote on a pad already knowing the answer. “Yes please.”

She walked over to the table that her friends were seated. “Look who’s finally here.” Romil spoke from his seat by Alex. “It was raining!” She slid next to Suri who pulled her shoulders in for a hug. “Glad you could make it.” The girl spoke besides her. “Oh, I got your notes!” Alex reaches over to pull something out of her bag. She placed the stapled papers in front of Orion. “I printed them out for you to make it easier, but knowing you you’ll probably rewrite them anyway.” Alex smiled at her. “You are a lifesaver Alex, a true saint!” Orion dramatically blew her friend kisses.

“So, how’ve you been bug?” Suri reached out and placed her hand on the girl’s she was speaking to. Even though she was being discrete Orion could hear the underlying tone, and suddenly the whole table was looking at her. “It was hard.” She cracked. “I mean I knew it would be, but I didn’t expect it to be that hard. It was tough on Iris to. I think that was the hardest part though. I think I’ll be fine though, might take time to get back in the swing of things but I’m okay.” She gave a tight lipped smiles and a nod to the table. “Thanks for telling us at least, we know how hard that can be sometimes. We are gonna help you through this, okay?” Alex reaches over and put her hand on top of Suri’s. “Guess it’s my turn. Love you, Orion.” He put his hand on Alex’s while everyone cracked into giggles.

“Here’s your order sweets!” Mary slid her coffee and banana muffin on the table. “Thank you, Mary.” She smiled at the lady. “Oh, I almost forgot to tell you guys! My grandson is finally coming back from his tour tomorrow and he will be helping here. He’s a bit older than all of you but I think you all will get along very well.” She smiled at all of them. “Tour?” Suri leaned forward. Orion elbowed her in the side for being so blunt. “Yes, he’s a musician. Very good too. He’s just getting started but I have a feeling he’ll be as big as Bob Dylan someday.” She pointed to the Bob Dylan poster above their table. “I’m sure he will, we’d be glad to meet him. Romil needs another male friend, to tell all his boy secrets to.” Alex patted her boyfriends cheek. “I do not have boy secrets!” He shook his head. “He’s going to love you guys! If you all come around tomorrow let me know so I can introduce you lot!” She walked from the table.

“So that’s why he’s never here.” Suri spoke from her spot. “I wonder if he’s any good.” Orion swallowed the bite of her muffin. “Has to be, Mary does not lie.” She shook her head. “Don’t know if he’s Bob Dylan good though.” She shrugged. “Wonder if he’s going to school.” Romil questioned out loud. “Guess we will find out tomorrow.” Suri reached over and pinched off of Orion’s muffin.

“Do you have to go to the library tomorrow?” Alex directed her eyes to Orion. “Yeah, at like ten though. We could meet here at three?” She worked at a library as an assistant, it was a pretty good pay for her and her one bedroom apartment. Plus, she loved working there. “Sounds good to me.” Alex smiled as did the rest of them.

When Orion was in her freshman year at college she met Suri. She accidentally ran into the girl on her commute to her class and then really, the rest was history. They found out they had a class together, and decided to put together a study group. Orion was later introduced to Alex, then the study group got bigger. Romil didn’t come around until about eight months ago — he was introduced as Alex’s friend and soon became her boyfriend. The rest of the group was single. Suri hadn’t had a girlfriend since junior year of highschool, and well Orion, had never had a boyfriend. She was pretty sure she was straight at this point, just not dateable.

She mainly wanted to focus on her grades, at least that’s what she told herself. Sometimes when things would get hard she did wonder why no one’s ever wanted to date her. She thought she was a good person, and maybe not the best looking person but she wasn’t all around unattractive. Her mom was more worried about it than her it seemed. Always asking her when she was gonna bring someone home for her to meet. It was nerve wracking really. Iris had already had two significant others, and Orion wasn’t even close to one. After the small meeting with her friends she left the cafe then made her way back to her small apartment.

She didn’t have any work, that she knew of anyway. So she grabbed a glass of orange juice and plopped on the couch. She wanted to google Mary’s grandson, but was that weird? She didn’t even remember his name through, and she wasn’t completely sure it even came up in the conversation. She reached over for her laptop and pulled up netflix. She was recently obsessed with ‘Supernatural’, so she clicked resume on the episode she was on. It wasn’t long until she felt her head tilting towards the armrest on her couch and her eyes were fluttering with sleepiness.

. . .. .

The walk to the library was a usual one for Orion. She spent four hours there five days a week, shelving books and sometimes tagging the new ones. When she wasn’t needed she was scanning the astronomy section of the shelves. There was a little corner in the back of the library that she also hung around, listening to music or doing work. She was usually alone in the corner of the library, but today she wasn’t. She had just got done replacing textbooks for the new students when she walked to her corner. The corner of books was shared between the music and astronomy section, and as she walked over she took notice of the tall boy scanning over the music section. She stood there for a few seconds questioning if she should say anything or not. When he noticed her his eyebrows rose a bit and she was now eye to eye with striking green eyes. She took a moment before she said something to him so she wouldn’t fuck up her words. “Hi.” She shyly said with a small smile. “Hello, do you need me to move somewhere else?” He smiled back slightly and put his thumb in between the pages of the book he was reading to bookmark it.

“Oh no, you’re fine! I’m just usually the only one over in this section, but i can share.” She jokingly stated. She noticed the tattoos caressing his arms, she noticed the rose first. “I’m Orion.” She reached out a hand that wasn’t holding her Psych book and he took it in his large one and shook it up and down, “Harry.” She took that time to notice he had a english accent, and a very deep raspy voice that slipped through her ears like honey. “Did you just transfer here? Sorry if I’m prying, i’ve just never seen you around,” She tilted her head at him a little, and he shook his head and smiled. “No, you’re fine. I did transfer though my grandmother lives around here, and I wanted to be closer to her.” Suddenly everything clicked. “Wait, is your grandmother Mary?” Her eyebrows furrowed. “Yeah she is. You know her?” He shook his head. “Yeah actually, my friends and I have a hangout spot at her cafe. She’s an angel, truly. She was actually talking to us about you, it only just now clicked that you’re the Harry she was talking about.” She giggled, and he smiled with her. “Well, here I am. She loves to talk about me when I’m not around so hopefully she didn’t say anything too bad about me.” His lips quirked up in a smirk.

“She’s way too nice to say anything bad! We were supposed to meet you tonight actually, but guess I’m just lucky.” She said it with no double-meaning. The two of them stayed like that for about an hour, talking about everything and anything. He told her about his recent tour and she learned that he really is a passionate musician. He asked her about her friends, and she kindly explained that they were a little wild at first but easy to get used to. He seemed to think she was pretty funny, and Orion took it as a compliment every time he laughed at one of her jokes. Time went by and she soon realized that it was time for her to be off. “Oh shit, I just got off. Time flies. I’ll see you later Harry,” She smiled and waved as she walked out of their corner.

Thank God he was nice, she continued to walk away. She hoped she concealed her nerves around him well enough, she wasn’t that good around new people, but she didn’t see to freak him out that much. The walk back to her apartment was a pretty short one. The traffic on the sidewalks wasn’t as bad today, which was a relief to Orion. She hated when she had to trip over her own feet to ignore stepping on others’. She passed the same animal adoption center she passed everyday and stopped at the window to wave at the sweet creatures. She always loved living in New York. It was always sweet to her. Despite the stereotypes of everyone from New York being rude and the rain being constant, she found the diversity in it beautiful. She loved how you could walk down the street and find an animal adoption center, then turn the corner and find a bar.

When she reached her apartment steps she reached into her bag and dug her key out. It was nearing fall and she was debating decorating for Halloween. Usually, some local kids would knock on her door, but it being a college town there wasn’t many. The creaky door opened and she kicked off her shoes as she entered. She had about an hour until she had to meet her friends and it occurred to her that she would also soon be seeing Harry again. She lit a fall-ish candle in her kitchen and pulled out a two dollar turkey sandwich from the deli down the street from her fridge. She felt a little lonely in her one-bedroom apartment. Sometimes she debated moving out and getting a roommate, or even just getting a pet. She walked over to her bookshelf and picked up her recent favorite, ‘Call Me By Your Name’. She always loved a good romance novel, and this was one of the best.

She decided she would read for thirty minutes then head to the cafe, she also really hoped Harry would like her friends. `

#harrystyles #harry styles fic #harrystylesfanfiction #harry styles x oc #harry styles series #one direction #wattpad #harrystylesfluff #harry styles blurb

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critic-corner · 5 years

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13 Contemporary Rom-Com Novels That You’ll (Probably) Love

Even though this is a mainly fashion and film blog, I do like to consider this a platform where I get to share my thoughts and opinions on anything of interest properly and well, reading is a big passion of mine. Even though I do talk about it on Instagram a little but, for whatever reason I don't on this blog.

Many of my reader friends ask me for recommendations, so I took this as an opportunity to create some book-related lists even though it's a little hard to do that because lists are never-ending. Anyway, I'll try. Also, don’t worry it’s not gonna turn into a book blog, it’ll just be a small segment of my entire blog.

You can click on the book title to get your own copy!

One Day In December

Laurie is pretty sure love at first sight doesn't exist anywhere but the movies. But then, through a misted-up bus window one snowy December day, she sees a man who she knows instantly is the one. Their eyes meet, there's a moment of pure magic... and then her bus drives away. Certain they're fated to find each other again, Laurie spends a year scanning every bus stop and cafe in London for him. But she doesn't find him, not when it matters anyway. Instead they "reunite" at a Christmas party, when her best friend Sarah giddily introduces her new boyfriend to Laurie. It's Jack, the man from the bus. It would be. What follows for Laurie, Sarah and Jack is ten years of friendship, heartbreak, missed opportunities, roads not taken, and destinies reconsidered.

I have never understood the love at first sight trope but because this story travels for ten years where the characters get to know each other intimately, it worked out perfectly. My favorite part about the book was how you will see these characters grow and make important life decisions. By the end, I was so emotionally invested that I was sad when the book ended.

This is definitely one of my favorite contemporary novels. I have been recommending to all of my friends, even the ones that don’t read that often. If you are a rom-com fan, get this book because it’ll simply warm your heart.

You can get your copy on Amazon - paperback or kindle.

The Royal We

American Rebecca Porter was never one for fairy tales. Her twin sister, Lacey, has always been the romantic who fantasized about glamour and fame. Yet it's Bex who seeks adventure at Oxford and finds herself living down the hall from Prince Nicholas, Great Britain's future king. And when Bex can't resist falling for Nick, the person behind the prince, it propels her into a world she did not expect to inhabit, under a spotlight she is not prepared to face. Dating Nick immerses Bex in ritzy society, dazzling ski trips, and dinners at Kensington Palace with him and his charming, troublesome brother, Freddie. But the relationship also comes with unimaginable baggage: hysterical tabloids, Nick's sparkling and far more suitable ex-girlfriends, and a royal family whose private life is much thornier and more tragic than anyone on the outside knows. The pressures are almost too much to bear, as Bex struggles to reconcile the man she loves with the monarch he's fated to become. Now, on the eve of the wedding of the century, Bex is faced with whether everything she's sacrificed for love-her career, her home, her family, maybe even herself-will have been for nothing.

If you know me, you’d know that I’m a royal family nerd. So, when I came to know about this book last year, I was all over it because it seemed like a perfect escape. And while I was expecting it to be all cheesy, I was surprised by how realistic it seemed. Yes, it has been heavily influenced by the Kate-William romance, but that only added to the thrill of it. If you want a nice royal romance which also seems relatable, this is definitely the way to go!

You can get your copy on Amazon.

This Love Story Will Self-Destruct

Meet Eve. She’s a dreamer, a feeler, a careening well of sensitivities who can’t quite keep her feet on the ground, or steer clear of trouble. She’s a laugher, a crier, a quirky and quick-witted bleeding-heart-worrier. Meet Ben. He’s an engineer, an expert at leveling floors who likes order, structure, and straight lines. He doesn’t opine, he doesn’t ruminate, he doesn’t simmer until he boils over. So naturally, when the two first cross paths, sparks don’t exactly fly. But then they meet again. And again. And then, finally, they find themselves with a deep yet fragile connection that will change the course of their relationship—possibly forever.

This book was been marketed as When Harry Met Sally reimagined and I couldn’t disagree more. Apart from the fact that the two characters meet time and again, there isn’t much else relating this story with the movie and that’s not a bad thing. I just don’t want you guys to shocked like I was. Rom-coms have a fluffy, carefree vibe to them and technically, it has those aspects, but there is an underlying sadness to the story because of the female character (with whom I surprisingly found myself relating with, by the way).

I am that person who prefers character-driven stories over plot-driven ones and while this book doesn’t really fall in either of those categories, I fell in love with the two main leads. It’s been months since I read this book and they still casually pop up in my head every now and then, and I constantly find myself talking about them like they are real people. If you are a fan of emotionally-driven romantic novels, you might like this one.

You can get your copy on Amazon - paperback or kindle.

Unmarriageable

In this one-of-a-kind retelling of Pride and Prejudice set in modern-day Pakistan, Alys Binat has sworn never to marry—until an encounter with one Mr. Darsee at a wedding makes her reconsider.

One thing to always keep in mind before reading a retelling is that you cannot expect it to be amazing. At most, it can be great. I’m saying this because the ghost of the original and the eventual comparison will always be lingering over the book which will definitely hinder the reading experience. So, just go into it expecting a nice time, and not hoping to find your all-time favorite (if you do, then obviously that’s great).

Coming to Unmarriageable, the original premise of Pride & Prejudice fits perfectly on a Pakistani back-drop, or just any desi family. And while I was expecting to fall in love with the romance, I ended up enjoying the social commentary that Soniah Kamal did and that was probably because of how similar Indian people are. All in all, it was not the best Pride & Prejudice re-tellings (I think I’m yet to find that), but I sure as hell had a fun time reading it.

You can get your copy on Amazon.

Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine

No one’s ever told Eleanor that life should be better than fine. Meet Eleanor Oliphant: She struggles with appropriate social skills and tends to say exactly what she’s thinking. Nothing is missing in her carefully timetabled life of avoiding social interactions, where weekends are punctuated by frozen pizza, vodka, and phone chats with Mummy. But everything changes when Eleanor meets Raymond, the bumbling and deeply unhygienic IT guy from her office. When she and Raymond together save Sammy, an elderly gentleman who has fallen on the sidewalk, the three become the kinds of friends who rescue one another from the lives of isolation they have each been living. And it is Raymond’s big heart that will ultimately help Eleanor find the way to repair her own profoundly damaged one.

This is one contemporary novel that has managed to step out that genre and successfully enter the literary talks. I have been hearing about this book for over a year and absolutely fell in love with it. If you are not the best in social situations and have a hard time navigating through them, you might like it very much. The story is told entirely through her point of view so it was very interesting to see this lonely person find her way to life (albeit unknowingly). What surprised me was just how funny the novel was. This can easily become one of your favorites!

Also, I have to appreciate the cover designer of this novel. There are two covers and both of them are genuinely so amazing!

You can get your copy on Amazon.

Always Never Yours

17-year-old Megan Harper is about due for her next sweeping romance. It's inevitable—each of her relationships starts with the perfect guy and ends with him falling in love... with someone else. But instead of feeling sorry for herself, Megan focuses on pursuing her next fling, directing theater, and fulfilling her dream college's acting requirement in the smallest role possible. So when she’s cast as Juliet (yes, that Juliet) in her high school’s production, it’s a complete nightmare. Megan’s not an actress, and she’s used to being upstaged—both in and out of the theater. Then she meets Owen Okita, an aspiring playwright inspired by Rosaline from Shakespeare's R+J. A character who, like Megan, knows a thing or two about short-lived relationships. Megan agrees to help Owen with his play in exchange for help catching the eye of a sexy stagehand/potential new boyfriend. Yet Megan finds herself growing closer to Owen, and wonders if he could be the Romeo she never expected.

I was going into the novel fully expecting it to be cheesy or even cringey and got out surprisingly loving it’s realistic portrayal of human emotions. My favorite part was the female character and her straight-forward way of thinking, even though it sometimes prevented her from becoming vulnerable. If you are a Shakespeare nerd, I guarantee that you’ll have a ball reading this one.

You can get your copy on Amazon - paperback or kindle.

The Sun Is Also A Star

Natasha: I’m a girl who believes in science and facts. Not fate. Not destiny. Or dreams that will never come true. I’m definitely not the kind of girl who meets a cute boy on a crowded New York City street and falls in love with him. Not when my family is twelve hours away from being deported to Jamaica. Falling in love with him won’t be my story. Daniel: I’ve always been the good son, the good student, living up to my parents’ high expectations. Never the poet. Or the dreamer. But when I see her, I forget about all that. Something about Natasha makes me think that fate has something much more extraordinary in store—for both of us. The Universe: Every moment in our lives has brought us to this single moment. A million futures lie before us. Which one will come true?

Another book that I expected to dislike but surprisingly didn’t. I hate insta-love stories, but weirdly enough this one seemed convincing to me. The characters were likable and do keep in mind that the demographic the novel was trying to reach was young adult and it worked perfectly for that in my opinion. One particularly great thing about the writing-style is the fantastic use of different POVs (point-of-view). If you've ever wondered about the life of those strangers that you only meet for 10 minutes or cross on the street, then I think you’ll particularly enjoy this one.

You can get your copy on Amazon.

My Oxford Year

Set amidst the breathtaking beauty of Oxford, this sparkling debut novel tells the unforgettable story about a determined young woman eager to make her mark in the world and the handsome man who introduces her to an incredible love that will irrevocably alter her future—perfect for fans of JoJo Moyes and Nicholas Sparks.

I went into this book expecting just another rom-com, my bad. I should have paid more attention to the fact that they mentioned Nicholas Sparks on the back cover and you should too because otherwise the second half will completely take you by surprise. This book has all the elements of a giddy romance - Oxford, with it’s Harry Potter-esque interiors, English poetry and amazing fleshed out characters. It will also (probably) break your heart, so keep the tissues close by.

You can get your copy on Amazon - paperback or kindle.

Josh and Hazel's Guide to Not Dating

Hazel Camille Bradford knows she’s a lot to take—and frankly, most men aren’t up to the challenge. If her army of pets and thrill for the absurd don’t send them running, her lack of filter means she’ll say exactly the wrong thing in a delicate moment. Their loss. She’s a good soul in search of honest fun. Josh Im has known Hazel since college, where her zany playfulness proved completely incompatible with his mellow restraint. From the first night they met—when she gracelessly threw up on his shoes—to when she sent him an unintelligible email while in a post-surgical haze, Josh has always thought of Hazel more as a spectacle than a peer. But now, ten years later, after a cheating girlfriend has turned his life upside down, going out with Hazel is a breath of fresh air. Not that Josh and Hazel date. At least, not each other. Because setting each other up on progressively terrible double blind dates means there’s nothing between them...right?

This is my second Christina Lauren novel and well, I had a ball reading it just as you’re supposed to with any of their novels. This one, in particular, stands out because not only is it well written but the characters felt oddly realistic. The first chapter did feel like the book will probably filled with all kinds of tropes because the female character is so fashionably eccentric but thankfully, non of that happened. It’ll make for an amazing weekend read!

You can get your copy on Amazon - paperback or kindle.

Vision In White

Childhood friends Mackensie, Parker, Laurel and Emmaline have formed a very successful wedding planning business together but, despite helping thousands of happy couples to organise the biggest day of their lives, all four women are unlucky in love. Photographer Mackensie Elliot has suffered a tough childhood and has a bad relationship with her mother, which makes her wary of commitment. But when she meets Carter Maguire, she can't stop herself falling for him, although his ex-girlfriend is prepared to play dirty to keep him. Mackensie soon realizes she has to put her past demons to rest in order to find lasting love...

This is first of the four in the Bride Quartet series and while I would literally suggest all four of them, just give this one a try first. There are a lot of things I like about this book, the main being the sisterhood that is majorly present in the entire series. Secondly, even though the female character has a dysfunctional family that leads her to being kinda sorta commitment-phobic, I like the relationship showcased is so healthy. Normally, in romantic books, there’s a lot of miscommunication to drive the plot ahead but this book works a nice example of how to showcase a healthy couple even if one of them (or both of them) are fighting internal battles. It’s a perfect cozy read!

You can get your copy on Amazon - paperback or kindle.

Practice Makes Perfect

Payton Kendall and J.D. Jameson are lawyers who know the meaning of objection. A feminist to the bone, Payton has fought hard to succeed in a profession dominated by men. Born wealthy, privileged, and cocky, J.D. has fought hard to ignore her. Face-to-face, they're perfectly civil. They have to be. For eight years they have kept a safe distance and tolerated each other as coworkers for one reason: to make partner at the firm. But all bets are off when they're asked to join forces on a major case. Though apprehensive at first, they begin to appreciate each other's dedication to the law— and the sparks between them quickly turn into attraction. But the increasingly hot connection does not last long when they discover that only one of them will be named partner. Now it's an all-out war. And the battle between the sexes is bound to make these lawyers hot under the collar...

This is one of the best workplace romances that I have come across and would highly recommend to everyone interested in that genre. It is a little cliche but it’s not trope-heavy which is definitely a plus. It has the right amount of heat and character development that a good fluffy contemporary demands. It’s just nice, fun ride!

You can get your copy on Amazon.

By The Book

An English professor struggling for tenure discovers that her ex-fiancé has just become the president of her college—and her new boss—in this whip-smart modern retelling of Jane Austen’s classic Persuasion.

If you couldn’t tell by now, I’m a sucker for Jane Austen re-tellings and unlike Unmarriageable, I really liked this one a lot. As I mentioned above, you can’t have your expectations with re-tellings high, but even if you expect some genuinely nice exploration of relationships (like Austen used to do, among other things), but in a modern setting then I think you will really like it. The fact that it’s completely from the female character’s point of view, makes the writing a lot more intimate. Give it a read, you may like it.

You can get your copy on Amazon.

The Upside of Unrequited

Seventeen-year-old Molly Peskin-Suso knows all about unrequited love—she’s lived through it twenty-six times. She crushes hard and crushes often, but always in secret. Because no matter how many times her twin sister, Cassie, tells her to woman up, Molly can’t stomach the idea of rejection. So she’s careful. Fat girls always have to be careful. Then a cute new girl enters Cassie’s orbit, and for the first time ever, Molly’s cynical twin is a lovesick mess. Meanwhile, Molly’s totally not dying of loneliness—except for the part where she is. Luckily, Cassie’s new girlfriend comes with a cute hipster-boy sidekick. Will is funny and flirtatious and just might be perfect crush material. Maybe more than crush material. And if Molly can win him over, she’ll get her first kiss and she’ll get her twin back. There’s only one problem: Molly’s coworker Reid. He’s an awkward Tolkien superfan with a season pass to the Ren Faire, and there’s absolutely no way Molly could fall for him. Right?

Even though personally, I wasn’t the biggest fan of the book because I just didn’t find it engaging enough, I do know that a lot of you out there might love. Not only does it have wonderful LGBTQ+ representation, but there aren’t a lot of book written about introverted young girls who love romance but have zero first-hand experience with it. I liked that it was fairly realistic and the characters were fleshed out. I’d say give it a try, you never know, may find yourself in Molly.

You can get your copy on Amazon.

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emmelfish · 5 years

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Guilty/Innocent Tag: Chloe Curious

Thank you so much for the tag, @dreadpirate! I thoroughly enjoyed this and would love to do it for more of my favorite premades too. Without further ado, the hot mess of our hearts (credit to @nobodyatall6 who I’m fully paraphrasing for that description) – THIS gal.

Asked someone to marry you? “Innocent. Marriage wasn’t something I ever thought would be on the cards for me, even a 2 year phone contract scares the crap outta me.”

Kissed one of your friends? “Uh…”

“Guilty? HAHA SNAP she my GF now.”

(Editor’s note: ancient screenshots of a LiveJournal story I wrote a million years ago about the Singles gals where predictably, Chloe and Kristen fell in love like they do in all my games.)

Danced on a table in a bar / tavern? “Guilty. Hang on. There are nights out that don’t end with this happening?”

Ever told a lie? “Guilty. Not all lies are bad. Some just stop people getting hurt, right?”

Had feelings for someone whom you can’t have? “Guilty. And I can report that it sucks.”

Ever kissed someone of the same sex? “Guilty. Who are you talking to?”

Kissed a picture? “Guilty. Lola and I shared a room as teens and I pissed her off by smooching our posters.”

Slept until 5pm? “Hella Guilty.”

Fallen asleep at work / school? “Guilty. Look, sometimes the best investigative blogging or upkeep of my YouTube gardening channel ‘Green Thumbs (No, Really)’ requires an all-nighter or fifteen.”

Held a snake? “Innocent. I don’t fuck with snakes. Unless it’s TROUSER snakes, amirite? Hahaha, gimme five! Come on! Anyone? Don’t leave me hanging.”

Been suspended from school? “Innocent. But Lola was, because she had wine coolers in her locker. And people say I’m the bad twin!”

Worked at a fast food chain / restaurant? “Guilty. It should be mandatory for everyone to do a stint in the food service or retail industry. Keeps us humble and hungry. Plus, free food / discounted clothes, right?”

Stolen something? “Innocent. Okay, maybe I’ve used Lola’s fancy make-up but that doesn’t count, that’s sister code. And like Erin’s gonna miss these dumb feather earrings, she has like a hundred.”

“They look better on me anyway.”

Been fired from a job? “Innocent. Yeah I might fall asleep at my desk from time to time, but my work ethic is solid.”

Done something you regret? “Guilty. But I’d rather regret doing things than not doing them.”

Laughed until something you were drinking came out of your nose? “Guilty. I laugh with my whole actual body, it’s bound to happen.”

Caught a snowflake on your tongue? “Guilty. You wouldn’t think so, but I wasn’t always a desert rat.”

Kissed in the rain? “Guilty. It’s romantic as shit!”

Sat on a roof top? “Guilty. It’s romantic as shit!”

Kissed someone you shouldn’t? “Guilty. It’s romantic as… you get the message.”

Sang in the shower? “Guilty. I’m legit tone deaf though. My jam is Pat Benetar.”

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? “Guilty. Fucking family parties at the Smiths’. Fucking Lazlo.”

Shaved your head? “Guilty. College. It was a good look for me, I have the cheekbones to pull it off.”

Slept naked? “Guilty, it’s hot as balls in Strangetown. Life lesson for you all, your roommates don’t like it if you get into their bed by accident like this after a few beers. Well, Kristen’s an exception.”

Made a boyfriend / girlfriend cry? “Guilty. On both counts. I didn’t mean to hurt y’all.”

Shot a gun? “Guilty. Glabe took us to a shooting range outside Sim City when we were younger and it’s great for stress.”

Still love someone you shouldn’t? “Innocent. Who’s to say who we should and shouldn’t love?”

Have / had a tattoo? “Guilty. Two – I got one on my forearm, it’s me wearing my heart on my sleeve, and I have a mandala under my boobies. Yeah, I know, I’m a basic bitch, I love pumpkin spice lattes too, sue me.”

Liked someone, but will never tell who? “Innocent. I always give the game away.”

Been too honest? “Guilty. People tell me I have no filter.”

Ruined a surprise? “Innocent. I’m gossipy, sure, but I keep a secret when it matters.”

Been told that you’re beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said? “Guilty. Pretty awesome feeling.”

Still have communication w/ your ex? “Guilty, I’m actually friends with a lot of them, which Kristen kinda hates.”

Cheated on someone? “Guilty. And not because I’m a Romance sim, I’ve just gotten caught up in having a lot of love to give. Wait... is that a Romance sim thing?”

Got so angry that you cried? “Guilty. I mean I’ve also got so angry that I tipped a table but who’s counting?”

Tried to stay away from someone for their own good? “Guilty. A few times. And to think I get called selfish!”

Thoughts about suicide? “Innocent. I’m lucky enough to say a lot of people care about me, I couldn’t do that to them.”

Thoughts about murder? “Guilty. Haven’t we all? ...Wait, we haven’t?"

How about mass murder? “Innocent. I’m not from Veronaville am I.”

Stalked someone? “Innocent. Unless you mean a nice healthy social media spying session.”

Had a girlfriend / boyfriend? “Guilty. Stranger things have happened!”

Gotten totally drunk during a holiday? “Guilty. Look, if you’re gonna just leave the egg nog right there...”

#Chloe Curious #Chloe Singles #TS2 #TS2 premades #Maxis Premades #Guilty Innocent Tag

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hisdelicatelittleflower · 5 years

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ADVICE | Love is TOTALLY Overrated! (But Probably Not for the Reason You’re Thinking): A Love Letter to the Lovers

Worry not, dear reader! This actually isn’t the ravings of the archetypal “woman scorned,” here to tell you how falling in love is an awful idea, making yourself vulnerable in a romantic relationship is never worth the potential heartbreak, or that marriage is not a honorable, beautiful, and blessed vocation to pursue.

In fact, quite honestly, despite being the nearly 700 miles that separate us and all of the surprisingly difficult (and fairly instantaneous) exterior trials that tested and later cemented our bond, I feel that I’m truly with my beloved.

The reason that I write this piece is that I see every day, saturating the world around us, the constant and powerful over-romanticization of love. In our books, films, TV shows, even (and sometimes, especially) on social media!

Going by the metric society around us often portrays, what is love? What are some of the concepts and images that pop into your head?

I know a few of my own: candy hearts, drug store romance novels, and Hallmark Channel-esque love stories of the two polar opposite, diametrically-opposed in terms of values people who fall helplessly in love and live happily, ever after with their two and a half kids and family dog, a big house in the suburbs, and never seem to be challenged by big troubles of any kind.

To me, these are not at all reasonable or realistic representations of how romantic relationships of any measurable depth and breadth are, and if you allow these false idols of what love is “supposed to” look like or play out to color or influence your perception of these concepts in the slightest, it WILL inevitably doom any romance you’re in and dash any reasonable hope of one in the future.

Now, I know exactly what you’re thinking…

“Well, darn, what is love, Alayna, if not completely identical to this hollow and ultimately soulless manufactured product specifically designed to inspire delusions of grandeur and attempts of self-insertion in the willing and naïve consumer so that they hopefully stay engaged deeply and well enough to keep paying for them? And, what’s the problem of keeping my hopes up for that perfect special person and relationship, anyways? Can’t a [man/woman/it?] dream?”

All right, all right, I hear you, I hear you! Calm down!

Now, to begin to answer that amazing and eloquently stated question, here’s a couple truth bombs for ya: There exists no perfect person nor relationship—And whom does this huge revelation surprise, exactly? Not a soul.

And, yet, every single day, in person and in the media, I see the same vicious cycle repeated, over and over again. I hear the sorority girl sobbing or ranting to her friend on the bus about how her boyfriend gave her a one-word response with a period in his text message (Oh, no, the dreaded period! The absolute horror!) and how this must mean that he’s no longer “into her” and that he’s most likely cheating, the guy silently (but visibly) heartbroken when his girlfriend chose to skip out on a date to hang out with her girl friends for the third time in a row, the couple on reality TV that seems completely shaken by the slightest of complications.

So, with that said, what exactly is love?

Well, according to St. Paul’s letter to the Corinthians, love is patient, kind, refrains from envy, humble, slow to anger, despises evil and celebrates truth, is protective, trusting, hopeful, keeps no record of wrongs, and always perseveres (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).

In a lot of ways, this definition is pretty simplistic and straight-forward, but if it is, how come it’s so darn hard to live out?

Answer: Because humans tend to be stupid, lazy, selfish, and petty, and when you’re dealing with two of those…Well, things get pretty complicated.

The good news is, though, is that when you’re able to avoid these instincts, this resulting application of love in a romantic relationship is a truly beautiful and blessed thing, and, speaking from experience, there is nothing in the world that will ever compare. It will supplement the joy and fulfillment already inherent in being a child of God and make life sweet and blissful beyond your wildest dreams.

That being said, I don’t know if y’all know this already, but relationships are HARD. With as much tear-jerking laughter, shameless flirtation, and tender moments I share with my sweet beloved, when I swear I can almost physically feel him with me, there is also tons of awkwardness (at least, in the beginning), stress, miscommunication, uncertainty, and faux pas, in general, to go around.

The key I’ve found to truly unlocking this God-given gift of a successful and loving marital vocation is to do a deep examination of oneself and try your best to discover aspects of and flaws in your personality/mentality that may hinder your ability to love in a way that adheres more closely to the biblical definition of love and honors both God and your beloved.

For instance, I know that I sometimes struggle to speak up and ask for what I want and need, and that’s something I definitely need to learn to curb, as it again, puts the pressure on my beloved to somehow read my mind. Fortunately, however, as both of us learn and grow, we’ve always seemed able to stay in sync with one another, despite some extremely stressful circumstances that have popped up from time to time.

If you, too, struggle with this specific issue in your relationship, realize that, no matter how kind or conscientious they may be, they absolutely cannot read your mind. If there are any concerns or conflicts, no matter how minor or moot they seem, they must be appropriately and lovingly communicated, and if time after time, conflicts, minor or major, cannot be resolved to the other’s selfishness or immaturity, this is not the relationship for you.

Others, I know, struggle more with short tempers, tendencies to hold grudges, or struggle with jealousy or cowardice—One of these may be your proverbial cross to bear, but I’ve also learned that all of these, even the more severe cases, can be overcome with time, tenacity, humility, prayer, professional help (if necessary), and patience, mostly on the part of your SO.

So, ultimately, what should you glean from what I’ve written here about that awesome yet curious four-letter word that we all seem to want for so badly in this life?

More than anything, I would hope, at least, that you treat love as not so much a feeling as it is a commitment—A commitment to always work through each of your flaws both individually and as a couple so that you not only bring joy and love to yourselves, but to build up and be an example for your community, and to be effective and loving parents and role models to your children in this respect so that you may glorify God. The truth of the matter is any relationship you initiate with anyone, especially of the romantic/marital variety, does not exist in a vacuum and is not solely dependent on your ever-changing attitudes or drive for instant gratification (whether of the sexual or wrathful nature). There will inevitably be times in your relationship where you’re truly vexed, beyond exasperated, or hopeless with the state of your relationship, either for interior or exterior reasons, to the point that the two of you may actually require outside, professional help to sort things out. In the end, however, love is the decision to always persevere and to fight, hand in hand.

I will conclude with the eternal words of Fyodor Dostoevsky, who had this to say on the matter in his final novel, The Brothers Karamazov:

“I am sorry I can say nothing more consoling to you, for love in action is a harsh and dreadful thing compared with love in dreams. Love in dreams is greedy for immediate action, rapidly performed and in the sight of all. Men will even give their lives if only the ordeal does not last long but is soon over, with all looking on and applauding as though on the stage. But active love is labour and fortitude, and for some people too, perhaps, a complete science. But I predict that just when you see with horror that in spite of all your efforts you are getting farther from your goal instead of nearer to it — at that very moment I predict that you will reach it and behold clearly the miraculous power of the Lord who has been all the time loving and mysteriously guiding you.”

And, with that, God bless you all, and I hope you have a wonderful Tuesday afternoon!

With love, your Internet pal,

Alayna ☩ 💐

{Original article}

#his delicate little flower 🌷#hdlf 🌷#hisdelicatelittleflower #hdlf #trad catholic #traditional catholic #catholicism #advice #relationships #love #courting not dating #catholic #catholic convert #traditionalism #traditional woman #relationship advice

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