#because that's a bisexual if ever i saw one (i am bisexual) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

apdreadful · 7 days

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Anyone saying that Tommy is just convenient, he’s just a stepping stone, or Buck is confused and projecting his feelings for Eddie onto Tommy. Denial is not a river in Africa.

Buck didn’t just roll out of bed one morning and decide “I am declaring myself to be bisexual! And starting today, I’m looking for a guy”

Buck has ALWAYS been bisexual. So the whole time we have known Evan Buckley, he has been attracted to men.

However, it’s very likely had never really sat with and processed what to do about that attraction prior to meeting Tommy. Never acted on it prior to Tommy. Never made it as obvious to anyone before Tommy.

In retrospect, the signs were definitely there, before Tommy.

The catalyst for the change? Is Tommy.

He made the conscious decision to go see Tommy when he had no damn reason to. He wasn’t thinking of leaving the 118, he just wanted a reason to see him again. I don’t think Buck actively processing “I want to date this man” he just wanted “something” and Tommy was part of that something. But he had no damn idea how to get his brain wrapped around what exactly he was planning to do with those feelings “Huh, this is more…what do I do now?” Hence the basketball game.

And I don’t know if it was before Tommy came over or if seeing Tommy standing there in his apartment made those pieces finally click into place for Buck.

(Personally I’m leaning toward that “Well not at the same time” response to teaching him Muay Thai. Because there was no mistaking THAT look that Tommy gave him)

Because if you have ever been into someone and are even the tiniest bit queer, you saw that dance for exactly what it was.

The subtle signs, the shifting in atmosphere, the carefully chosen words, way their bodies started mirroring each other as they moved closer.

Tommy having more experience with this dance, started getting the inkling this may be going SOMEWHERE...So he took that chance and dropped the “Well probably not at the same time”with THAT look. That look was a whole sentence.

Now Buck’s awakening bisexuality, understood that look. And those butterflies starting flying and he stepped right up and said “I have been trying to get your attention”

He decided THIS man. Right here. Is the one that I want enough- choose to just lay it all out for.

Now for any baby bi THAT is a big damn leap. Because you think you know..But you don’t have the experience to know if you’re reading the signs right.

Brass Tacks my lovelies is..

Buck wanted Tommy..he wasn’t entirely sure for what. But he knew it was Tommy specifically.

And if you think he’s projecting his feelings about Eddie onto Tommy. Go back and look at that first episode Eddie shows up at the 118 in.

Buck wanted to be in that firefighter calendar, and he saw Eddie as competition to getting that which he wanted. Eddie was his competition. Did he recognize that he was competition because he also looked hot af?

Yep.

So when Tommy catches Bucks interest, once again Buck finds himself in competition against Eddie for the thing he wants, which this time is Tommy’s attention. And because Eddie is his best friend, and he knows Eddie is awesome. In Bucks head, Eddie is worthy competition for Tommy’s attention. It doesn’t matter that Eddie isn’t interested in Tommy the same way Buck is.

If it were Eddie that Buck really wanted, why tf hadn’t he asked Eddie to teach him Muay Thai? They’ve been friends for years. Why had Buck not been interested in the basketball game prior to Tommy’s appearance??

Buck is bi. And it was the hot dish casserole that is Tommy Kinard that made all those little “huh” moments click into “well that’s makes sense” place.

So stop playing at being flat earthers.

#Tommy totally ignited that bi 🔥 in Buck.#like a big ol bonfire WHOOSH #and I don’t blame Buck one bit #911 abc #evan buckley #tommy kinard #911 spoilers #buck x tommy #evan x tommy #bucktommy

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scientia-rex · 17 days

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Long ask. I didn't see that you had answered anything similar.

How do I do activism? Yes, I could Google it, but I would rather learn from a stranger with claimed yet unverifiable experience on Tumblr than from a stranger with claimed yet unverifiable experience anywhere else, and I'm here and so are you and we can talk and have a [para]social interaction. I won't bore you with a condensed autobiography, but I have a lot of experience fixing mistakes, not unlike being a physician, but far less noble, what David Graber would call a "duct-taper". It's partly what led me to socialism. I fixed mistakes but could not fix the root causes and, when I investigated those causes, I ran into structure. I couldn't explain the human behavior I witnessed as human nature, because it wasn't my nature and, as far as I know, I'm human, so the only explanation I could come up with was that the structure of the company I worked for created the problems I was trying to solve, and I had no power to change that structure, and no desire to join the psychopaths failing up the corporate ladder. I expanded my thinking outward and saw the problem inherent in capitalism and all the associated -isms and -archies, all the while trying to figure out what I could do that could possibly change any of it. I dove into progressive politics, read theory, consumed all the lefty content I could find, and thought, and keep running into the same problems. But even if the root causes cannot be addressed, the effects still need to be, because the effects are people, hence activism.

How do I talk to congresspeople? I email them about issues, but am frankly afraid to call them. Shall I get voice mail, or does a person pick up? If the latter, I'm assuming it will be a secretary. I don't want to be mean to a person answering phones. I've been one of those people getting yelled at or threatened because of events I did not cause and could not possibly prevent or change and, maybe I'm oversensitive or have PTSD or just a hyperactive amygdala, but I cannot overstate the damage those negative experiences cause. Sure, in the grand scheme of things, the lives that can be saved or improved outweigh a few people's hurt feelings or possible psychological trauma, but I would prefer not to turn this into a trolley problem if at all possible. Maybe it's a stupid question. Maybe I'm overthinking it. I can be charming and I have no lack of empathy; I can politely disagree. Shall I have to argue with anyone? Or is it a thank-you-for-your-participation-I-will-tell-the-congressperson-have-a-nice-day situation?

How do I get a job doing good things for people? This is somewhat pressing as I quit my corporate job five years ago, to have what turned out to be a midlife crisis, and have been living off savings (that are running out) ever since. I want to help and don't want to be ashamed of what I do for a living. I've always been able to do anything I've ever tried to do, but I'm 45 with little formal education or qualifications, and am thinking it's maybe too late to go back to school. Most of the non-profits I see seem like little more than scams. And perhaps the most serious complication: I'm a loner, more out of habit than inclination. I'll spare you the background, but I have no connections and no idea how to make them, and I don't believe I have any particular skills so valuable that should confer an immediate advantage or demand for my labor, but then again I don't know what is in demand.

It's OK if you can't answer some of these things. I simply have no one to talk to about them who can give any actual advice and figured you might. Thanks.

How to do activism: The first thing you need to know is your axe to grind. It was easy for me. I've been out since I was 13, nobody ever believes a girl is bisexual, it's always "you want attention" or "you're secretly a lesbian." That was in 1997. I went through hell and I'm bitter about it. So when I realized I liked medicine, I realized I could turn my life into an extended revenge arc by moving home and telling everybody it's OK to be gay. Two birds, one stone. I work with a woman who didn't get her axe to grind until about three years ago. She realized she was fed up with people abandoning dogs. She's one of the most active volunteers at the local shelter now. She's saved a lot of dogs' lives. She didn't start out knowing anything about it, but she told the shelter she wanted to volunteer, and they've helped her grow through the rest of it. My husband works with the local food bank, because his mom's neighbor (who is a family friend and sweetheart) wrangled him in to serving on the board, so now in addition to board meetings once a month he goes in sometimes to do things like help his mom's friend unload trucks. Sometimes the cause picks you, sometimes you pick the cause, sometimes you are the cause. And no matter what the cause is, someone else is already working on it. Someone else already cares deeply and if you show up ready to be hands on and help out, with humility because you know that you don't know everything, they will help you learn how to be effective. I started out in medicine by volunteering at the emergency room near where I lived. I pushed a linen cart around and restocked gowns in rooms, and when I couldn't fit any more washcloths into drawers I cleaned doorknobs. One of the nurses once told me she really appreciated that I cleaned all the doorknobs, because it wasn't getting regularly done. I am in medicine now because of many, many people I asked for help and who helped me because they wanted to contribute to justice and equity in medicine, whether for queers or rural people or women. This is, and has always been, a combined effort. Alone we beg, together we bargain.

Calling elected representatives: Oh god I know, me too, calling strangers is the LITERAL WORST. I'm 40 and I'd rather pepper-spray myself than argue with a human on the phone. Wait until after hours and you'll get a voicemail. I like to leave voicemails that start with "My name is Dr. Rex, I'm a constituent of yours, and I VOTE, and I'm calling about ____." That's honestly about all it takes--when I was hanging out with the lobbyist she told me they keep lists with tick-marks for how many calls, emails, etc., they get on a topic. Calls count for more. The more effort you have to put in, the more engaged they know you are. So call, but if people scare you (and the people who pick up are almost always nice, if you do get a person, and they will 99/100 times say "thank you for your call, we will pass your concerns along to so-and-so"), call at night.

Going back to school is probably unnecessary. Spin your past experience aggressively and start applying to nonprofits. (You "took time off from the working world in order to sharpen your focus on what matters most to you," which will be whatever this particular group does.) It's OK if you pick a bad one to start with; most of them are shit-shows, and lots of them still accomplish good things. Nonprofits are a bloodbath when it comes to actually being an employee--they know that part of the compensation is the sense of living ethically and they will use your altruism against you--so keep your resume updated and be prepared to bail if grant funding doesn't come through, but most areas have food banks and pet shelters and human shelters and jails and medical clinics and hospitals (for every doctor who works at the local hospital there are at least 10 support staff by the numbers, and they are utterly critical and always under-staffed). Sometimes if you start by volunteering somewhere, once they realize you're dependable, you can get a job there. I am zero percent kidding about working for a hospital, clinic, or jail, by the way. Those are places I know well, and there are always civilian jobs available. You want to make a patient's day better? Be the front desk, front line staff who use the right pronouns and cheer them up.

I think it's completely reasonable to have procedural questions about how all of this works, and I am grateful to you for giving me a chance to talk about it a bit. Please feel free to ask any follow-up questions. And for reference, when I was just starting out in research at a time when the market for research-trained people frankly sucked, I applied well over 300 times and got well over 300 rejections (I was counting) before I ended up with a job that I loved (even though it was hellishly stressful and I made just barely more than minimum wage for working well over my alleged, salaried "hours") and felt like I was making a positive difference for the world with. And from there, I kept making changes as I realized what I wanted and needed. Just keep doing it. You don't have to feel good about every step, you don't have to know what you're doing, just keep putting one foot in front of the other as you try to figure out what will make you happy. Because nothing else is a good proxy for happiness, and happiness, for a whole lot of humans, means finding something meaningful to do in life. Helping others. Be okay with changing, be okay with sacrificing who you are right now for the sake of who you can become. You've survived four decades on this bizarre and cruel planet, and you have inherent, intrinsic worth as a human being. You deserve your own kindness.

#the attending dr. kristophine

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whoishotteranimepolls · 1 month

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Fandom observation nicknames and funny tags: Part One Piece

Okay, one piece fandom it's your turn and I'm going to highlight your creativity. Again this is not meant to shame or call anyone out. I am genuinely impressed with the creativity and you guys made me laugh. So again in my opinion these were too good just to be lost in the tags or in the anonymous messages, several you sent me. So expand post at your own risk. This one is unhinged

* updated as of April 6th with more tags and new characters

I have mentioned this before, but for some reason that is beyond me. One Piece fandom you guys refer to your characters as daddy and mommy (And it's in a kinky way) way more than any fandom. I think I should just start with the list of characters that have been labeled as such before I go into the creative names for individual characters. Because trust me who makes the list and who doesn't is actually funny.

One piece Daddy's: Shanks, Mihawk, Buggy, Sir Crocodile, Benn Beckman, Killer, Sanji, Rayleigh, Roger, Doflamingo, Rosinante/Corazon, Katakuri, Ivankov, Arlong, Yamato, Marco, Izou, Smoker, Garp, Sengoku, Zeff, Kuzan/Aokiji, Kizaru, Fujitora & Akainu

When it comes to the One piece Mommy's: Nico Robin, Boa Hancock, Charlotte Smoothie, Charlotte Galette, Charlotte Amande, Vice admiral doll, Catarina Devon, Ivankov & Crocodile

Now due to popular demand the new category the One Piece Babygirls: Ace, Buggy, Sanji, Luffy, Sabo, Zoro, Ussop, Marco, Crocodile, Doflamingo, Kid, Law, Bepo, Killer, Mihawk, Shanks, Perona, Yamato, Kuzan/Aokiji, Kizaru, Fujitora, Rosinante/Corazon, Katakuri, Smoker, Robin, Nami, Vivi, Jinbe, Hatchan, Roger, Zeff

Now when it comes to individual characters there have been some interesting standouts but I'm just going to do some highlights because you guys have so many characters

Ace: "Depressed sunshine orphan boy with daddy issues", "ace has that grungy line cook riz you know he lays legendary pipe", " he got goofy older brother swag", "Beautiful butch dyke wife", "Ace my greasy fire narcoleptic king", "The narcoleptic babygirl", the greasy crusty desert rat. "He would be worth the burn risk", "my favorite fire donut", "something about greasy alabasta ace hits so different", "with his riz he's probably a walking STD risk but it would be worth it. Just look at him probably also probably got a couple bastard kids running around the grand line"

Arlong: "Y'all are too afraid to recognize the truth too afraid of his drip, his swagger, his saw nose, to admit that he's hot also live action arlong?!?!the only sexy fishmen," "arlong looks like a toxic florida frat bro," "I legitimately think there's something wrong with me sometimes due to how bad I want arlong the rancid personality enhances the appeal,"

Akainu: "The world's next top authoritarian," magma Daddy, "He makes donuts and I still love him"

Buggy: Assigned clown at birth, walking disaster, "my pathetic sniveling wet clown", my Beloved, "he has blue hair and pronouns", Failboy, "the skrunkly clown", "my clown wife", "he has that fail boy cringe", "buggy has the stronger levels of foolishness and fumbling his way to success", "the cringefail clown extraordinaire buggy", "he is silly and pathetic like a bisexual divorced dad",

Bartolomeo: "the man hasn't showered in probably a week he's obsessed with the strawhats he'll pee anywhere and he's an absolute dweeb he's like a stray mutt that followed me home look at his fit it's AWFUL AND FABULOUS he's gross and dumb and if something bad happens to this silly barrier- creating puppy i'll LOSE IT"

Ben Beckman: Dilf, "retirement blorbo", "Benn Beckman is a religious experience", "to me? beckman is the character with the most sex appeal ever. raw sex appeal. I would [redacted] if I met this man. just sayin", "He can ruin my life any day of the week", "Also lest we forget pre TS Beck a++ quality right there I just want someone smart who will also hit a guy with a gun is that so much to ask for", "This p**** wants what she wants and its always going to be Benn “back breaker" Beckman", husband material, "men are like wine in order to get a good vintage you want the one that's aged", he had that sexy blind and reckless loyalty about him", "Beckman is a fine aged vintage of wine as men should be", "DEAR GOD the things I WOULD DO to that man LIKE [redacted] and [redacted] because [redacted] and [redacted]", "idk how to explain it but he's so wife"

Catarina Devon: "my problematic lesbian sugar mommy”

Crocodile: desert daddy, Babygirl, "He's like if tony soprano was trans", crocodaddy, crocomommy, Big titty mob boss, He's 8ft tall and I would let he ruin me,"Mr. Sandman", "the human sandcastle," "literally has sand in his britches", "son of a beach", "World's Most Expensive Sand Sculpture", "he's got 99 problems and his hook is one of them", "casino blorbo", "I would subject myself to sandburn any day for THE SIR FUCKING CROCODILE Anakin Skywalker don't go here because I WOULD love sand if it was like 8 feet tall and had a voice like that absolutely rabid he could stick his sand in so many places and I'd thank him crocodile is one of those guys i wanted to hate so bad and then went actually no i want this guy carnally Crocodile has some weird rizz goin on and i need to climb that sandcastle", "I'm so sorry but I need to eat crocodile's pussy", "With Sir Crocodile you can have Sex on the Beach. Literally. Plus he owns a casino so you could probably sip on the cocktail version too...while getting some cocktail.", "mafia vibes and style", "crocodile's got style. class. you will be wined and dined in the most exquisite way you can imagine", "He's got DADDY vibes", " One handsome mafia boss",

Dragon: "the revolutionary scrungle dragon",

Doflamingo: "Dofy's got some wierd (potentially fun) energy but he would NOT treat you well he'd be awful", "The psychopathic pimp on a shoestring budget. Seriously dude, San Diego Zoo called and they want their flamingos back. That coat is so last season.", "fashion travesty", "Doflamingo dresses like an eye test and will probably steal your credit card by the end of the night not because he needs the money. because he finds it hilarious", "Mingo is just a spoiled frat fuckboy who's too full of himself to be interested in anyone/anything else", "a balding white man", "evil florida man my beloved they dont understand you",

Eustass Kid: Pirate punk, "He's a sopping wet loser", "a man wearing eyeliner and nailpolish is by definition hotter", "my scrungy little fuck", he would also probably give me an STD and it would still be worth it

Franky: " Three words light up nipples"

Fujitora: "fujitora yes plz that like calm collected way he fights makes me KNOW hed take care of his partner real good", "have you seen how he slurps his noodles? I just know he could eat me out in ways I could never imagine"

Jinbe: "I wanna suck on the webbing between his fingers", does anyone else contemplate how soft Jinbe's tits are to lie on or is that just me?

Kaido: "beefcake beast of a man",

Killer: "big tiddy murder boyfriend",

Marco: Bird daddy "Mr. Dr. Emotionally-Stable Scrungles", "surfer hippy electric blue glasses wing flapper", "DR. MMMMM", Fineapple

Luffy: "l am in the minority here I need luffy's gomu gomu no [REDACTED]"

Mihawk: The Vampire Pirate, Goth Dad, the sword father, Pirate Dracula, the big titty goth husband, "I think mihawk would treat you right. i want mihawk to treat me right", "I love his gay wine uncle energy", "I appreciate that he dresses Like That everywhere extra ass bitch", "hot vampire cowboy pirate", Morticia Addams, "Mihawk oozes 'step on me' energy",

Robin: "she has irresistible weird girl rizz", "big tiddy archaeologist gf"

Rosinante: "my insane clumsy tall dilf", "wife material", "he has cringefail dad swag", "rosi is everything to me actually. I would climb that tall clumsy king like a tree", "the klutzy mime", "he has that pathetic depressed clown vibe thats irresistible", "He's the epiome of strong but silent, he's the asshole with a heart of gold, he has everything", rosinante is hot tho and his clumsiness somehow enhances it", "I've said it before and I'll say it again I WOULD climb that clumsy king like a tall tree want to kiss him until his silly jester makeup is all over me too", "I am loyal to the guy who actively sets himself on fire",

Sanji: fail wife, Cooking Daddy, "I NEED sanji to f*** me to tuesday and make me dinner before and breakfast after", "The man will feed you the best meal you've ever had and genuinely compliment something about you", "His fighting style is 'kick the problem until it goes away' and he chugs Love Women Juice", "he can cook and fight and he's damn fine while doing both"

Shanks: Margaritaville Himbo, "Dilflicious", "the deadbeat malewife wifi user", "I am a whole lesbian but if there were a butch girl version of these men I would let shanks ruin my life", "favorite guy in the local frat" He's probably a walking STD risk but he's hot and I'm a slut that has a thing for red heads, "the unwashed bitch", "LOOK AT THAT SCRUFF ON SHANKS the three scars on his face that smile", "my Scrungle drunk bastard", I would volunteer to be his next baby mama you know shanks got a few a dozen red haired children all over the grand line tell me I'm wrong"

Silvers Rayleigh: "Silver Fox Rayleigh", "he's old but he can get it", "Rayleigh has that 'your daughter calls me daddy too' energy", "he's a gilf who married a literal queen", "rayleigh has spent his entire life SERVING CUNT", "Raiyleigh has that gilf energy despite having no kids", I need him in so many different ways I cannot list", "he has my heart around his little finger", "Rayleigh makes me howl like a dog I swear", "I mean come on look at his HAIR his GLASSES that incredible STARE even his wrinkles are hot", "Rayleigh got the 50 year anniversary in the bag idk why you would go for anything else", "helloooo????? Rayleigh is the hottest old guy in one piece please", "I would let rayleigh ruin me and I would thank him", "Rayleigh to me is more like a really smooth mead"

Trafalgar Law: "DR. Slut", "He has them tattoos which makes me go fucking feral", "A stoner greasy boyfailure", "the edgy emo orphan boy with daddy issues", 'My tried stressed bitch"

Yamato: "I need my trans man big naturals...... I know nothing about one piece but yamato lives rent free in my brain and my heart at all times the only anime figure i have is of him and i don't even watch the fucking show", "he's new + he's trans + he's over 8 feet tall + he's a wolf god what more could you want?!", "he is filled to the brim with TRANSMASC SWAG", "it's transmasc dog boy swag for me he's my best boy", "Yamato's boobs call to me I need to motorboat yamato titties. whoa who said that", "yamato could crush me and i would thank him yes indeed", "I just found out Yamato is Literally a whole entire meter taller than me & that's all the convincing I need", "my canon transmasc king", "cant compete with is the fact that on top of beautiful yamato is just. fucking huge like i can not will not get over it every time i remember he's 8'7 in canon I'm like aaaAaaAaAAaAAAAaa kiss me on the mouth big boy", "as an aroace person. if yamato stepped on me id thank him. thank you for your time", "hes literally the whole reason i started watching/reading one piece

Zoro: "The President of the strawhat's local big titty committee", "The king of boobs", "Beautiful butch dyke wife", I would probably get an STD but it would be worth it, "his stupidity and gay attire make him very appealing", canonically the biggest tits in one piece, He got them big naturals, "Big honkabadonkaroo hoinkybadinkirs massive man tiddies Zoro", "Zoro oozes 'I won't let anyone hurt you' energy"

Zeff: "He will wine and dine me before leaving me lovingly bedridden the day after. And he actually takes care of his kid", "Zeff is honorable and can cook and clean and bathes and almost dies for a kid that's not his and then adopts him" He's got line cook energy. If you know you know

I definitely know I'm going to have to add to this since there's so many more characters and you all are definitely going to get more creative after seeing the list.

And a few observations. Why did Sanji make the daddy list and not Zoro? Characters that I thought would be short cliff notes turned into some of the longest sections And characters I thought would have some of the longest sections turned into some of the shortest ones. And I still think this was worse theyn JJK I just forget how unhinged this fandom can be because your unhinged craziness is dispersed amongst so many characters. And I haven't decided which fandom's next.

I now have my answer on why Sanji made the list and not Zoro. Overall the fandom is just thirsty so very thirsty. Hence the many updates to this list

#poll analysis #fandom trends #fandom #fandom culture #not a poll #one piece #nicknames and funny tags

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steddieas-shegoes · 1 year

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Hey! I love your writing so much so I figured I’d send a little request!

Could you doing something like Steve hase always noticed Eddie but Eddie is completely oblivious? With some first kiss/love confession?

OH ANYTIME!!! Thank you :) I am always here for pining and love confessions. The sappier, the better. The more nauseating, the better. The more I want to punch a wall, the better. I hope that happens here for you with this one! - Mickala ❤️

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Steve Harrington’s bisexual awakening was Eddie Munson.

He was 14 years old at summer camp for the last time because “teenagers just don’t go to summer camp, Steven.” Which was ridiculous because it was a summer camp for teenagers, but whatever, not worth arguing with his father about.

Eddie was there, hair longer than most of the other boys, floppy and curly like he was trying to grow it out but didn’t know how to manage it.

If there was anything Steve could do, it was manage hair.

So he walked up to him and offered to show him his routine.

Eddie laughed, honest to god tears falling from his eyes as he slapped his leg.

Steve just stared at him, not used to being laughed at, only with.

But Eddie seemed to sense that he was serious, so he calmed down, but kept a small smile on his face.

“Thanks man, but I can’t afford the shit you do. I just gotta deal with it.”

“I mean, you can have mine at the end of camp if you want. I’ll just buy more.”

Which felt like the right thing to say, but Eddie just looked down at the ground and shook his head.

“Nah. Don’t really need your charity, dude.”

He walked away before Steve could explain it wasn’t charity, he just really like his curls and wanted him to take care of them.

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It was hard not to notice Eddie at school. He made sure he was noticed.

Everyone said it was because he was a “fairy” and thrived off the attention, even when he was getting beat up.

One particularly nasty rumor said he liked being beat up.

So when 15 year old Steve heard all this, he obviously knew he couldn’t ever say a damn thing about himself or any interaction he’d had with Eddie.

Which was really just the one time he’d accidentally insulted him.

His hair was longer now, just past his chin. The curls looked a bit better, though Steve could tell he didn’t use any type of conditioner, and he tried not to let that bother him.

He watched him though, secretly, when he could get away with it. In the halls or the cafeteria was easiest since he could always say he was staring at a girl if someone asked.

The way he just always walked with his head high, his confidence unlike anything Steve had seen from anyone that wasn’t a jock, made Steve’s stomach flutter.

He heard Carol say “confidence is sexy” enough times to start believing it was true, and that was before he watched Eddie strut around the school like he wasn’t constantly being thrown insults.

He watched as Eddie formed his own little ragtag group of friends, all outcasts because of one thing or another, only building his confidence more.

He watched as Eddie started driving a beat up van to school, making a name for himself as the guy who would sell liquor out of the back on Fridays.

People still teased him, still beat him up, but they were giving him money for liquor for their house parties left and right.

Steve watched.

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Nancy was amazing, everything Steve wanted and everything his parents wanted.

She was going to have an incredible future, and encouraged Steve to work hard to have one too.

He loved her. He did.

But he still watched Eddie.

Eddie who was standing on tables in the cafeteria, giving speeches that honestly, weren’t that dramatic. Maybe if he was anyone else, people would actually listen.

Eddie who started dealing weed in the woods behind school a few days a week, admitting the liquor thing wasn’t for him when he saw how many idiot kids still got behind the wheel to drive home after the parties he supplied.

Eddie who was unapologetically himself in all the ways Steve wished he could be.

Nancy was beautiful, she was smart, she was determined.

But Eddie was like a forest fire, a small spark that ignited with just a small fan of the flame, his best qualities hidden behind the smoke.

And Steve wanted to burn.

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Steve graduated. Eddie didn’t.

He didn’t get into college, so his dad made him get a summer job.

Eddie didn’t really hang out at the mall, wasn’t really his scene, but he did come into Scoops occasionally, and apparently only when Steve worked.

His coworker, Robin, rolled her eyes when Steve insisted on scooping his ice cream into the cone, ringing him out at the register, and watching him walk out.

“Are you poisoning him slowly or something? Are you planning on doing something stupid? What’s happening?”

He never told her anything, just shrugged in response.

Until the Russians. Until their stupid truth serum made him spill his guts literally and figuratively in the mall bathroom.

Robin listened as he talked about every moment, every look, every doubt he ever had about his feelings. About how he loved Nancy, he did, but she would never be the one he thought of first when someone talked about a future, about love, about a life.

Robin listened as he cried, sobbed really, explained how he knew it would never happen, but it didn’t stop him from wanting.

She listened until she couldn’t anymore.

“Steve, you’re not alone in this okay? I’m…You know Tammy?”

“Thompson?” He sniffled, finally looking up at Robin.

“Yeah. I’ve had a crush on her for like, two years.”

“What? Really?”

“Yeah.”

“But why her? She’s kind of awful.”

Robin laughed, a real laugh, not a drug-induced one.

“Yeah, but she’s also kind of not.”

Steve nodded.

“I know what you mean.”

They were trauma bonded, sure, but they were also just bonded through life’s fucked up ways of bringing people with similar qualities and interests together.

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If Steve knew the next time he saw Eddie Munson would be when he was wanted for murder, a small part of him actually may have believed you.

Not because he thought Eddie was actually a murderer, but more because he knew what the town thought of him, and would have expected nothing less in the face of the unexplainable.

The three-time senior was kind of fucked if they didn’t figure this out, looking at a lifetime in prison for a murder he didn’t commit.

Steve focused on thinking about that anytime his mind wandered to how Eddie held a broken bottle to his neck, his other hand pushing him back, his leg between Steve’s to keep him there.

Robin pinched him when she could see his mind starting to drift. She was the best.

And as they worked to figure things out, and fight their way through Vecna’s curse, Steve managed to have actual conversations with Eddie.

They weren’t really ever completely alone, no one was while they were figuring things out and making a plan, but they still managed to talk.

It was enough for Steve. Enough to know he could maybe be friends with him when this was over and done. Maybe go to his graduation, maybe help him leave the town that was ready to burn him at the stake.

He didn’t expect it to be it. To be all he got.

So when he saw Dustin sobbing over a bloody body, he didn’t waste time. He had Nancy put pressure on the worst of the wounds, made Robin get Dustin out, he needs to go, started begging, pleading quietly with Eddie to just survive.

“You can’t let the fire burn out yet, idiot. Not now, not like this.”

Nancy didn’t acknowledge what he was saying, but he knew she knew.

He was tearing his shirt into pieces, makeshift bandages the only option for holding him together as Steve found a way to carry him to the trailer and through the gate.

It wasn’t easy, but nothing about any of their Upside Down trauma had been, and Eddie was worth it.

------------

Steve waited hours.

Then he waited days.

When a week had gone by, Wayne pulled him into a hug and practically begged him to go home and get some rest.

“Our boy will wake up and we wanna look our best when he does, right?”

He couldn’t really argue with Wayne, not when he’d let him sit by Eddie’s bed with him for days.

He didn’t tell Wayne about his feelings, didn’t really know if Wayne was a safe person to tell, but he figured Wayne knew anyway.

When he managed to sleep for a few hours in his own bed, shower in his own bathroom, and eat an actual cooked meal, he found his way back to Eddie’s room. The nurses no longer paid any attention once Owens and his government buddies cleared Eddie’s name.

He walked into the same scene he’d watched for a week now; Eddie asleep, hooked up to more machines that any human should have to, chest rising and falling slowly.

But Wayne hadn’t made it back yet, hopefully getting more sleep than Steve had been able to.

So he took the chair closest to Eddie’s head, gently brushing some of his hair from his face and reaching down to hold his hand.

Even like this, bruises and scars littering his body and face, he was beautiful.

His fire was still burning, Steve could see it.

He managed to fall asleep like that, holding Eddie’s less injured hand in his, head on the bed against his leg.

------------

A hand in his hair woke him up.

Expecting it to be Wayne or Robin, he blinked his eyes open and slowly sat up, ready for another long day of waiting.

But it wasn’t Wayne or Robin.

“Eddie!”

Steve resisted throwing himself at him, knowing he would be in pain, but he let his hands hover over him to show he wanted to.

“Hey Stevie.”

God, his voice was so nice. It was like actual music to his ears. He never wanted to go so long without hearing it again.

“How long have you been awake? Do you need the nurse? Pain meds? Where is the pain?”

Eddie chuckled quietly, small smile visible under his oxygen mask.

“I don’t really know but the pain is everywhere.”

“Shit, okay. Let me go get someone. I don’t even know who’s on shift right now. I don’t know how long I slept.”

“Stevie.”

“Yeah?”

“Calm down.”

Steve let out a disbelieving laugh, barely more than a huff of air.

“You almost died, Eddie! And you’re hurting. I almost-” Steve choked on a wet sob, his throat closing up as tears flooded his eyes.

“You didn’t though. You saved me. I’m here right?”

Eddie’s voice was barely above a whisper, and it clearly pained him to even talk, but he was doing it for Steve.

Steve suddenly realized there was far too much space between them, that if he wasn’t feeling the heat of Eddie’s flames against his skin, he couldn’t convince himself he was still alight.

He gently sat on the edge of the bed, taking Eddie’s hand back in his own.

“I almost didn’t make it in time. You were so pale, Eds. So bloody.”

“But you did. You made it.”

Steve took a shaky breath.

He knew he needed to say it. He needed to tell Eddie why he did everything he could to save him, why he hasn’t left his side except at Wayne’s insistence, why he was panicking so much now.

Eddie squeezed his hand.

“Stevie, you think I didn’t see you watching me? I started to think you were gonna kill me sometimes with how often you just stared at me.” Eddie took a few breaths, closing his eyes as he focused on what he wanted to say and not the pain. “I figured it out there. After Nancy. That’s why I came to Scoops so much. Loved that little outfit.”

Eddie was smirking at him and Steve let out a snort.

“I hated that thing. Robin did too.”

“Don’t think I didn’t notice that Robin never helped me when I came in either. It was always you.”

Steve couldn’t look at him, not while he was being seen so clearly.

“And all this? With the monsters and crazy people in this town trying to kill me? But you were the quickest to believe me. The one making sure I wasn’t going crazy. And then the one who got me out of there alive, even though I didn’t think there was any way I would.”

“Why didn’t you stick to the plan? You could’ve escaped with Dustin, been safe.”

“Because the world couldn’t lose Steve Harrington.”

“It couldn’t lose Eddie Munson, either.”

Eddie shook his head.

“I think you’re the only one who feels that way.”

“Really? You think Dustin could have handled losing you? Or Mike? He’s a shit, but he cares. And me? How was I supposed to?”

“Steve…”

“No! You don’t get to decide that you don’t matter to people. Everyone loves you and everyone would have been devastated to lose you. Wayne’s been sitting in this stupid plastic chair for a week waiting for you to wake up. You think he would have been okay with losing you?”

“Eventually, yeah.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“I’ve heard.”

Steve shook his head.

“How do you not see how much people love you?”

“I could ask you the same thing.”

Steve didn’t quite know what to say to that. It’s not that he believed he was expendable, it’s just that if it came down to someone having to die, he’d rather it be him. Not to play hero, but because picturing anyone else dying was too much to bear.

“You’re loved, too. Every single one of those kids love you like a brother. Robin would probably marry you if you had boobs. I was willing to die to keep you safe, Steve. How can you not see it?”

“It wasn’t just me.”

“No. I wanted all of you to be safe. But I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t the thought of you dying that made me cut the rope.”

“Why?”

“Because I watched you, too. All the time. I did things for your attention. I thought that was obvious.”

Steve shook his head. No way he was telling the truth. He constantly ranted about the popular kids, about how much he hated them and everything they represented. The hierarchy of high school continued into life and he wanted no part of it.

Eddie groaned as he adjusted a bit in the bed.

“I may need to continue this later, Stevie.”

“Yeah. Yeah, of course. Let me get the nurse,” Steve muttered as he got up.

The nurse bustled in only a minute later, followed by Steve, who thought through the entire conversation he just had with Eddie.

Did Eddie…like him?

No way. He couldn’t possibly like Steve. He hated the whole King Steve thing. He’d said so multiple times over the years.

But so did Steve.

He zoned out while the nurse asked Eddie questions and checked his vitals, thinking back to all the times he’d been watching Eddie in school.

How almost every time, Eddie had already been watching him.

How Eddie’s theatrics always waited until Steve was in the same room.

How Eddie glared at Nancy, even when she was helping him.

Steve watched as the nurse put a new bag on his IV pole, explaining to him that this would be a morphine drip that would probably knock him out for another 12-24 hours.

He watched Eddie nod along, past the point of caring what was happening and just wanting the pain to stop.

The nurse finally left, and Steve didn’t wait.

He walked over to the bed, leaning over Eddie.

“You are an idiot,” Steve said, leaning in closer to his lips, grateful that the nurse had removed the oxygen mask and replaced it with a small nasal cannula.

“Am I?’ Eddie asked with a smirk, the lids of his eyes slowly getting heavier.

“Yeah. And I can’t believe I love an idiot so much.”

Eddie’s eyes widened for a second before they started to close again.

“You gonna kiss the idiot or make him fall asleep without one?”

Steve rolled his eyes, but leaned in to place a soft kiss on Eddie’s dry and cracked lips.

Eddie smiled into it, but didn’t seem to have the energy to kiss back right now.

Steve pulled away and rested his forehead against Eddie’s, gently, like he would break if he put too much of himself against him.

“You owe me a good one when you’re not high on morphine, deal?”

“Mhm. Deal, sweetheart.”

Steve blushed at the name, but Eddie’s eyes were closed.

Wayne walked in only a few minutes later, eyes wide.

“The nurse said he was awake?”

Steve nodded from his spot in the chair, Eddie’s hand in his, fond smile on his face.

“Yeah, she gave him morphine so he can rest some more.”

“Good,” Wayne visibly relaxed. “He tell you he’s in love with you yet or do I have to keep waitin’?”

“Well, not in so many words, but, kinda.”

“And you? You told him?”

“I called him an idiot.”

“Close enough.”

Steve laughed. It felt so good to laugh.

Eddie’s fire had spread quickly, the smoke clearing away just enough to let Steve be engulfed in his flames.

Steve was burning, and it was everything he hoped it would be.

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #robin buckley #wayne munson #steve pining after eddie is maybe my favorite trope actually #some time skips to show steve's pining over the years #i got carried away a bit #what else is new #hope this makes sense #my brain is barely functioning

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beautifulhigh · 10 days

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Hi hi!! It's unfair of me to ask you to actually write the full essay on the rwrb red room kiss scene, but I saw your tags and am very interested in at least what the main thesis would be, if you feel like sharing!! No worries if not 😊 Have a good night/day/whatever time it is where you are!

The last few weeks have been, well. They've Been™ and I'm going to use this wonderful ask to dust off my overthinking tag and write a meta post on this movie, these boys, and then hope more than three people care what I have to say.

The Red Room kiss scene is Iconic™ and Important™ and in this essay I (really) will discuss agency, framing, and why it always had to be Alex to be the one to make the move.

While book!Alex takes book!Henry to the Red Room, here he's waiting. Bundle of nervous energy. He doesn't know what to do with himself, how to hold himself, how to present himself when Henry turns up. He's backlit in this (which is a theatre technique, I see you Matthew) but it also adds to the drama and tension of the scene.

The (in)famous painting of Hamilton, about to bear witness to things.

We jump cut between Alex trying to find... something. Here he is realising his shirt has come slightly undone and he wants to try and be somewhat presentable. At least for the moment. But it speaks to Alex's physicality in this scene because he is shifting and moving so much that his clothing is shifting. There's also an interpretation that this suit represents the formality of the situation - the Prime Minister's dinner, at which he (the First Son) and the boy he wants to kiss (the actual Prinec) are supposed to be front and centre and the picture of formality.

He's coming undone in this moment because he's the First Son and he's waiting for the Prince, but he's also Alex and he's waiting for Henry.

Ah, yes. The casual lean against the wall. Fancy seeing you here, your Royal Highness, what do you think of the menu? But there's grounding here too. When you're spiralling focusing on a physical point of contact between you and and something can help ground you.

It's also a defensive stance in a way. You shall not pass, I'm not moving. Alex is claiming space and territory and he's controlling it.

"How dare you fucking kiss me, run away, ghost me, then walk into the White House like nothing changed." This is closed off, defensive, protective - probably why it's the quickest of the poses to be dismissed. He's got his back against the wall like he's scared or ready to come out fighting. And, in a way, both of those are true.

Book!Alex is mid-crisis on his bisexuality and while he logically knows he is very much into Henry, he's not gotten to the point of turning theory into reality.

Movie!Alex is more chill about being into guys, but this attraction to Henry is confusing him. He hates the guy. He wants to punch him in the mouth. With his mouth.

(What? That's literally book canon: and if he weren’t already hell-bent on destroying Henry’s infuriating idiot face with his mouth right now, he would consider doing it with his fist.)

Casual lean against the table, less staged and jarring than the extended arm against the wall.

But then Henry walks in and Alex stands to attention and he is... rapt. He is calm and composed and he is focused. We're back to the back-lit position which helps frame him with a near-halo effect.

And you can see that he is relaxed. There's a slight drop in the jaw, his shoulders are sloped and rounded. Because none on what he was trying to convey before matters. Henry is here.

"Look" he starts with - he's expecting a fight. He's expecting Alex to go off on one for the kiss, for the liberty taken. Even if Alex is willing to forget that it ever happened, take Henry's secret to the grave, Henry gets one thing right in this.

"my behaviour was appalling"

Because it was. Look, Hen, I love you and I'm with Alex in the feeling that I will go to war for you to see you happy and safe. But you did kinda kiss him without consent (harsh reading) and you did ghost him without apology (soft reading) and for a boy raised in the Royal Household that... well... it's pretty much top items on the Very Bad Behaviour list. He did not act with decorum or dignity, he did not act in the way that his status and position demands.

(That's OK, Hen. Because the boy under the linden tree wasn't the Prince. It's OK to not be him, and Alex is going to spend the rest of his life loudly loving the man, not the prince.)

"Shut up, stop talking." // “Shut up, shut all the way up, oh my God,” Alex hisses

Because even though both versions of Alex said he wanted to talk to Henry, in the moment that's the last thing he wants to do. And actions speak louder than words, right?

Why it had to be Alex

Henry needed to make the first move, that New Year's kiss, because there needed to be something to make Alex realise that this thing he's feeling is very much reciprocated, and that Henry wants it too. If Alex had kissed Henry for the first time on New Year's Eve/Day then it would have been too much of a leap. Alex, at whatever stage of his bisexual journey, has no clear idea of Henry's orientation at that party. It's only with retrospective viewing that he realises that Henry was low-key flirting, and that the sharing of these deeply personal moments wasn't just a "two bros in a hot tub" thing.

So Henry had to kiss Alex first but then he had to run because there was no way that the mostly-closeted, private Prince could accept that a) he fucking kissed a boy, b) said boy is the one he's been dreaming of since Rio/Melbourne, and c) the boy kinda?? kissed him back?? Henry will have been having a low-grade anxiety attack all through January (and trying to reclaim some control with the date he went on in the book).

In this moment, Alex knows all the pieces. He's played this logic game to its conclusion and he knows all the facts. 1) Henry is gay. 2) Henry is into him. 3) He's into Henry. That last fact is something Henry isn't fully aware of (or at least can't bring himself to believe it to be true) and so it has to be Alex.

He doesn't want Henry to say something that would get in the way of this, doesn't want to hear any kind of pre-prepared speech of "yeah, we're better off as friends" that always happens when the couple get too close to getting together too early in the run time. Alex is full on shutting that down, shutting Henry up, and he gives as good as he got.

"Wait a minute" // Henry’s too shocked to respond, mouth falling open slackly in a way that’s more surprise than invitation, and for a horrified moment Alex thinks he calculated all wrong, but then Henry’s kissing him back, and it’s everything.

And this time it's both of them. Framed between Hamilton and the books. The American political trailblazer and the literary. In the space between? There's our boys.

Alex's hand is on the wall again and he's controlling the space but Henry is very much in it. He's protective but in a different way.

In one frantic motion, Alex knocks the candelabra off the table next to them and pushes Henry onto it so he’s sitting with his back against—Alex looks up and almost breaks into deranged laughter—a portrait of Alexander Hamilton. Henry’s legs fall open readily and Alex crowds up between them, wrenching Henry’s head back into another searing kiss. They’re really moving now, wrecking each other’s suits, Henry’s lip caught between Alex’s teeth, the portrait’s frame rattling against the wall when Henry’s head drops back and bangs into it. Alex is at his throat, and he’s somewhere between angry and giddy, caught up in the space between years of sworn hate and something else he’s begun to suspect has always been there. It’s white-hot, and he feels crazy with it, lit up from the inside. Henry gives as good as he gets, hooking one knee around the back of Alex’s thigh for leverage, delicate royal sensibilities nowhere in the cut of his teeth. Alex has been learning for a while Henry isn’t what he thought, but it’s something else to feel it this close up, the quiet burn in him, the pent-up person under the perfect veneer who tries and pushes and wants. He drops a hand onto Henry’s thigh, feeling the electrical pulse there, the smooth fabric over hard muscle. He pushes up, up, and Henry’s hand slams down over his, digging his nails in.

The sensibility of the suits is on its way out, they're not the First Son and the Prince. And Alex is taking the lead.

Agency

Henry is somewhat passive in this - although he is fully engaged - but it's Alex who set this in motion. Pun intended. Alex who pushed him against the wall. Alex who pushed him up onto the table and hiked his leg up around his hip, Alex who is driving in. Because Alex needs Henry to know that third fact. The one he's worked out, the one that Henry is just catching up with. This isn't payback, it's not some prank. Alex Wants™.

There's a scene I'm writing in my current FirstPrince WiP in which Alex and Henry have a charged moment. And Henry wants to act on it but those princely sensibilities get in the way and he can't let himself be led into doing something that could be used against him. If Henry made all the moves then the accusation of him taking advantage, of the inherant imbalance that comes with status and titles and positions of power. So in the scene, and here, Alex takes the lead. There's no way anyone could accuse Henry of forcing Alex into doing this.

(Good luck getting Alex to do ANYTHING he doesn't want to.)

So Alex gives and Henry takes and he gets the memo very quickly.

Fact number three. Alex wants this too.

Then Movie!Amy walks in on them (which IMO is way funnier than Book!Amy hissing through a crack in the door) and these idiots try to act like they weren't redefining International Relations a second ago. Alex is by the painting, Henry is by the books. They've gone back to their sides and they're playing at being interested in what they find there. But they're not, it's all for show, someone who gives a passing glance at this point sees this part of them, this side of them The First Son and the Prince: the politician and the literary.

They're both backlit, they're in line even if it doesn't look like it, Alex is no longer on Henry's right, and they're both trying to act like the people that others could see them as.

But we - and they - know better. 1) Henry is gay. 2) Henry is into Alex. 3) Alex is into Henry.

4) Everyone is on the same page now.

(Also I know Casey talked about seeing the Red Room on a White House tour and so that's why they included a scene in that room in their book, but I cannot ignore the fact that red = love and passion and danger and fire [the counter to the water motif] and it's a warm colour designed to excite.)

#jen answers stuff #overthinking jen is overthinking #firstprince #alex claremont diaz #prince henry of wales #red white and royal blue #rwrb #rwrb movie #meta post #long post #henry fox mountchristen windsor #otp: history huh

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kingconia · 8 months

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Hiii I love you writing so much <3

I would love to see the housewardens with a bi S/O. How would then react? (gn please)

A/N: Oh, as a bisexual, I loved working on this one.

(Beware: it contains my personal headcanons about some worldbuilding and different characters orientation. It is merely my vision—you have all rights to disagree.)

GN!READER COMING OUT AS BISEXUAL TO THE HOUSEWARDENS AND HOW THEY REACT

Riddle Rosehearts. ❤️

— ”Wait, what do you mean you are bisexual? So, you can speak two languages or what?”

— Genuinely apologising here, but I believe that he has no idea about LGBTQ+ community. You need to explain him more about it;

— I feel like he knows the basics like the fact people could date people their gender, but overall everything you say means nothing to him;

— Though, I also think that because of his deprivation in the social contact with people—and because I don't think his mother had ever spoke with him about romantical love in general—he has no prejudices about it;

— (I also headcanon that later on he defines himself as asexual, but it is just my vision—);

— So, Riddle attentively listens to all of your explanations, thanks you for the trust, and accepts you easily.

Leona Kingscholar. 💛

— Firstly, I headcanon Leona as the open bisexual. And secondly, I like to imagine that Afterglow Savanna is a very progressive place to live in. They are highly feministic as we saw already, and, I think they are very LGBTG+ supportive community;

— Because of that, I also think that Leona had no idea that not everyone are so supportive. That coming out could be a dangerous and unnerving thing;

— Imagine coming out to him, only to see him shrugging the unbothered king he is...

— But! The moment you tell him about it, or about your genuine concerns about sharing it with him, Leona fixes his mistake by comforting you;

— And, oh, I think he would love taking you on trips to the Afterglow Savanna, so you get to see how accepting and free his people are;

— (Lmao, I think that sometimes both of you could just lazily slump over each other, and checking out random people in the crowd, because why not?)

Azul Ashengrotto. 🩵

— Oh, I think that Azul is very touched that he was shared with this kind of information;

— He is aware how judgmental the world can be, and that sometimes, sharing with this even with your closest friends and family could be hard;

— And, Azul knows that most of the people would never trust him with these things. So, he accepts your coming out as something especially valuable for many reasons;

— I feel like he would be the ”embarrassingly supportive parent” type of person, though. Like the one, who buys you awkward t-shirts and cups with bisexual flags;

— Which might or might not to be followed by the stupid puns;

— If you ask him about his preferences, he would probably try to pull out the ”I am Y/n-sexual” card.

Kalim Al-Asim. 🧡

— When it comes to Scalding Sands, I kind of see them to the the opposite of the Savanna. Which means that I see their community as the old-fashioned one, with conservative ways of thinking;

— So, for Kalim I have two possible scenarios, that are quite contradictory?

— Scenario number one: Kalim is clueless about all of this stuff—much like Riddle, but even worse—and he is not very sure about his own preferences;

— However, he is willing to research about it more—with your guiding hand, of course—and you can be assured that he will support you, even despite views of his country about this matter;

— In the second one I see him as a closet bisexual, who tries to keep it quiet for an obvious reasons;

— Which leads to him, supporting you well. I also think, he would be an active fighter for LGBTQ+ rights, often participating in the Gay Pride.

Vil Schoenheit. 💜

— Well, he works among models, actors, singers and a lot of different starts;

— Most of people in there are either friendly, or the part of the community theirselves, and with Vil practically growing up among them, it is only logical that he is not homophobic;

— I love to think that he is the part of the LGBTQ+ community himself, though, I don't have a specific headcanon for him;

— But... I think, he is in the closet as well;

— Don't get me wrong, but Vil is a very private type of star. He likes to keep everything personal in the secret, and such things could easily became a hot topic in the social media;

— However, when you confess to him about being bisexual, he is instantly very supportive, and comes out to you in return. You can count on him as much as he counts on you.

Idia Shroud. 💙

— I actually headcanon him as aroace, that is why I am having a hard time writing romantic works with his character, but let's ignore this;

— Oh, Idia is a child of internet. More to say, he is a fandom person. There is no way, he had never read fanfics on Ao3, and had his own pairings, lmao;

— I also headcanon him as that one type of guy, who ships his classmates, but he would be strangely accurate with that;

— Nevertheless, I think he is so absorbed in the virtual world and his circle of online friends, that he tends to forget that not all the world is gay and that homophobic people exist???

— So, when you coming out to him, he just... Shrugs. Like, hey, you are not special?

— It is up to you if you laugh about it and take his reaction as it is, or point out to him that you were nervous about it. In the second option, he will apologise and reassure you that everything is fine. But the result in all the same, he accepts you.

Malleus Draconia. 💚

— ”Wait, what do you mean you are bisexual? So, you can speak two languages or what?” X2

— But, consider this: I headcanon that all fae are queer;

— So, Malleus might not know about labels, but he grew up in the place, where everyone is gay, so...

— He finds it fascinating—and annoying—how different humal culture is from what he knows. Malleus also find a hard time understanding why anyone would hate people for loving someone;

— He quickly reassures you that it is absolutely normal, and he wouldn't care less. He loves you so much!! Please don't worry!! (Ha-ha, Lilia had a crush on both of my parents, so—);

— ...And I also think that just like Azul, he would buy a very cringe merch. Like t-shirts with ”My Lover Is Bisexual!” or ”BI proud!” shit, lmao. He thinks it is sweet and hilarious, and you can't do anything about it. Sorry.

#twisted wonderland #twst wonderland #riddle rosehearts x reader #riddle rosehearts #leona kingscholar #leona kingscholar x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #azul ashengrotto #kalim al asim x reader #kalim al asim #vil schoenheit #vil schoenheit x reader #idia shroud x reader #idia shroud #malleus draconia #malleus draconia x reader

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grungeprincess2 · 8 months

Text

Kurt Cobain Quotes

1. I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.

2. Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

3. Friends are nothing but a known enemy.

4. Wanting to be someone else is a waste of who you are.

5. If my eyes could show my soul, everyone would cry when they saw me smile.

6. I am definitely a feminist. I'm f--king disgusted by the way women are still treated. It's 1993 and some people still think we're in 1950s. We need to make more progress. There needs to be more female musicians, more female artists, more female writers. Everything is dominated by f--king males and I'm sick of it!

7. Thank you for the tragedy. I need it for my art.

8. Drugs are a waste of time. They destroy your memory and your self-respect and everything that goes along with with your self-esteem. They're no good at all.

9. We're so trendy we can't even escape ourselves.

10. I definitely feel closer to the feminine side of the human being than I do the male - or the American idea of what a male is supposed to be. Just watch a beer commercial and you'll see what I mean.

11. I mean, I’m definitely gay in spirit, and I probably could be bisexual. But I’m married, and I’m more attracted to Courtney [Love] than I ever have been toward a person, so there’s no point in trying to sow my oats at this point. [Laughs] If I wouldn't have found Courtney, I probably would have carried on with a bisexual lifestyle.

12. Ever since the beginning of rock and roll, there's been an Axl Rose. And it's just boring. It's totally boring to me.

13. I thought I would try to be gay for a while, but I'm just more sexually attracted to women. But I'm really glad that I found a few gay friends, because it totally saved me from becoming a monk or something.

14. If any of you, in any way, hate homosexuals, people of a different color or women, please do this one favor for us—leave us the fuck alone. Don’t come to our shows and don’t buy our records.

15. The problem with groups who deal with rape is that they try to educate women about how to defend themselves. What really needs to be done is teaching men not to rape. Go to the source and start there.

16. The duty of youth is to challenge corruption.

17. We’re not as popular as everyone thinks, and we’re not as rich as everyone thinks.

18. There are a lot of things I wish I would have done, instead of just sitting around and complaining about having a boring life.

19. Punk is musical freedom. It’s saying, doing, and playing what you want.

20. Words suck. I mean, everything has been said. Words aren’t as important as the energy derived from music, especially live.

21. I'm a spokesman for myself. It just so happens that there's a bunch of people that are concerned with what I have to say. I find that frightening at times because I'm just as confused as most people. I don't have the answers for anything.

22. Holding my baby is the best drug in the world.

23. No one is afraid of heights, they’re afraid of falling down. No one is afraid of saying I love you, they’re afraid of the answer.

24. I use bits and pieces of others’ personalities to form my own.

25. If you die you're completely happy and your soul somewhere lives on. I'm not afraid of dying. Total peace after death, becoming someone else is the best hope I've got.

26. I just can’t believe anyone would start a band just to make the scene and be cool and have chicks. I just can’t believe it.

27. To be positive at all times is to ignore all that is important, sacred and valuable. To be negative at all times is to be threatened by ridiculousness and instant discredibility.

28. You can’t buy happiness.

30. Nobody dies a virgin. Life f***s us all.

31. Music is energy. A mood, atmosphere. Feeling.

33. If you’re really a mean person you’re going to come back as a fly and eat poop.

34. There’s good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too f****** sad.

35. I have to admit I’ve found myself doing the same things that a lot of other rock stars do or are forced to do. Which is not being able to respond to mail, not being able to keep up on current music, and I’m pretty much locked away a lot. The outside world is pretty foreign to me.

36. I really miss being able to blend in with people.

37. It’s better to burn out than fade away.

38. God is gay

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shinestarhwaa · 9 months

Text

DAD!ATEEZ REACTION TO THEIR KID COMING OUT

Sorry I made these a little more specified some may have wanted to, but otherwise it'd be hard to write 8 different ones lol, so I made lil scenarios x

Hongjoong

''You have a boyfriend?'' Hongjoong asked with wide eyes. He stared at his son in disbelief. He was quite the typical 'straight' man, he hadn't ever noticed any signs before, but now that his son told him he was gay everything seemed to fall into place.

''I do, dad, I... I am gay. Like really, really gay,'' the son stammered. Hongjoong smiled and placed his hand on his son's. ''I cannot wait to meet him, kid.''

Seonghwa

Seonghwa teared up as he looked at his son, sitting before him. ''Dad, are you disappointed in me now that I've told you I'm gay?'' His son looked down and hid his tears. Seonghwa gasped and immediately shook his head.

''No, no I could never be, I'm just sorry you've had to struggle with this on your own for so long. No, I'll always love you, no matter who you love, I am here.''

Yunho

''Bisexual, huh? So you play for both teams?'' His casual comment startled his daughter, who was fidgeting with her jewelry nervously. ''Y-Yeah well, I guess so.''

''Cool, do you have a girl you like then? Is that why you joined the football team?'' All night long he asked so many questions out of love and interest, making sure she felt loved and understood.

Yeosang

''Wow, I had never... expected you to be a lesbian, sweetheart... This definitely surprises me a little,'' Yeosang said as he took in what his daughter just told him. ''I-I'm sorry daddy-''

''No, no, I am not mad... It's just unexpected,'' he said as a smile formed on his lips. ''Thank you for trusting me and telling me about it, love,'' he says as he kisses her forehead.

San

His son was in tears as he told him he was gay. ''Can you still love me?'' he had asked, body trembling because of the anxiety. San sighed and patted his head.

''Son, you know I'll love you no matter what. It's important that you are happy, and I don't care if that's with a man or a woman. Plus, I totally saw you kissing your friend on the porch so it's not that big of a surprise,'' he smiles as he pulls him in for a hug.

Mingi

''So...Pansexual? What does that mean?'' Mingi asked, curious after his daughter just came out. ''I am basically just... attracted to any... person, any gender, I don't care at all,'' his daughter said with a smile, happy her father took interest in it.

''Okay. That's cool, that's quite romantic actually,'' he grinned. He didn't make a big deal about it or anything and just let everyone get on with their day peacefully.

Wooyoung

''Sweetie, why are you crying? You know you don't have to be afraid to tell me anything... I understand it's scary to come out but you know I love you regardless of your sexuality... You're my one and only angel,'' he spoke with his sweetest voice.

For the coming weeks he'd never leave her side, making her feel loved and treating her like a real princess. ''So when are you going to let me meet your girlfriend, sweetie? I'll make sure to cook a delicious dinner.''

Jongho

''Son, listen to me,'' Jongho said as his son just confessed his bisexuality, shuddering in fear of his reaction. ''No one could ever take my love away from you, you are my son, I love you and I live for you, that's a given. Nothing is ever going to stop that.''

''I promise I'm still the same person, dad,'' he said as he cried in Jongho's arms. ''I know you are, you are my favourite boy, you're smart, sweet and talented and whoever you love does not matter to me, okay?''

Taglist: @anyamaris @a-soft-hornytiny @whatudowhennooneseesyou @star1117-archives @wooyoungmybelovedhusband @pyeonghongrie-main @woosanbby @dreamlesswonder86 @lemonhongjoong @babesindestroyland @changbinslovelylegs

#kpop #ateez #fluff #san #seonghwa #wooyoung #yeosang #yunho #hongjoong #jongho #mingi #ateez reaction #starshinehwaa

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dwobbitfromtheshire · 3 months

Text

"I hate Valentines," Steve and Eddie said at the same time.

They were hanging out at Eddie's house due to the fact that Steve’s parents were home. In fact, he was even wearing Eddie's clothes from when he had slept over the night before. They were lazy today. They hadn't changed or left the couch, and they did not even get up when Wayne had gotten up to leave for work. Their legs were stretched out on the coffee table, their legs occasionally brushing up against each other's. They were both watching TV, trying not to think about the way they woke up in each other's arms this morning, when a commercial for Valentine's Day came up.

"You do?" They asked.

"I thought you were into all that romantic crap," Eddie said.

"I am and don't act like you aren't either. I saw the books under your bed. I just don't think it's romantic at all to celebrate a holiday created by executives who are solely into it for the money and who like to remind people that in order to be happy or successful, you have to be in a relationship. I mean, I'm pretty happy right now, and if that ever changes, I would be just as happy too," Steve shrugged.

"You had a girlfriend that got pissed at you for not wanting to celebrate, didn't you?" Eddie asked with a grin.

"A few months after Nancy, I went out with this person for a while. They got mad at me because I don't like celebrating "love" on one particular day when you can celebrate it any time. They also got mad at me for forgetting our one month anniversary," Steve said.

"Ugh, I hate that shit. I've seen it on TV and like I get celebrating 6 months or like a year but like when it's a couple of weeks or a month, I don't get it. I also don't get getting mad at people for forgetting because sometimes, people have memory issues. How about instead of getting pissed, help them and encourage them to remember? I mean, especially if they're great to you all the other days out of the year, shouldn't you be more understanding that they forgot once?" Eddie asked.

"Yeah, I show my love in other ways, but they didn't get that," Steve said. "Dates are hard for me to remember, especially with all of the concussions. I just really hate when they acted like I didn't give a shit because I forgot."

"Were you the one to dump her ass?" Eddie asked.

"Yeah," he said. "I think they were more enamored with my parents' big house than they were with me."

"Their loss," Eddie shrugged. "They fucked up and they're missing out on something great."

"You think so?" Steve asked.

"I know so," Eddie said and bumped his leg against Steve’s as he stared at Steve.

"I mean, don't get me wrong, I am happy now with the way things are, but I do get a little lonely sometimes. I do wish I had someone to cuddle with," Steve said.

"Come here, big boy," Eddie said, pulled Steve into his arms. "Now, you've got a cuddle buddy."

Eddie tucked Steve’s head underneath his chin, pressing a kiss into his hair. Steve sighed and snuggled into his chest, throwing a leg over Eddie's. He ran his hand over Steve’s back, causing Steve to sigh loudly in contentment.

"This is nice," Steve muttered.

"It is," Eddie muttered

"It doesn't feel, you know, very buddy-buddy," Steve said softly. "It feels very. . .romantic. If things were different, I'd do something about it."

"Well, you know, I don't have to be a girl for you to appreciate me, Stevie," Eddie said and paused. "There's this thing that I've been meaning to tell you, but it's not wildly accepted even amongst the community, so I wasn't sure how you would take it. I'm bisexual and I'm not sure if you know what that means, but - "

"Eddie!" Steve laughed against his chest. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't laugh. I know about bisexuals. I'm bisexual, Eddie."

"You are?!" Eddie exclaimed excitedly and squeezed him tightly. "Fucking metal. I can't believe you're like me!"

"Yeah, why do you think I wasn't using female pronouns when I was talking about my ex?" Steve laughed.

"Shit, you were talking about a guy?" Eddie asked.

"Yes," Steve replied.

Eddie maneuvered until they lying down completely stretched out on the couch, tugging Steve close to him.

"What did you mean when you said if things were different?" Eddie asked.

"Oh, I wasn't sure if you would want to do something about it," Steve said.

"Oh, I do. I definitely do. Do you want to do something about it now?" Eddie purred.

"It's so close to Valentine's, though," Steve whined.

"You want to wait until after?" Eddie asked.

"Yeah," he sighed.

"Hmm, should make things interesting. . .waiting to do all the things we've been thinking about doing to each other, but now we're completely aware of each other. . .thinking about each touch, about each kiss, and wondering about the sounds someone makes when coming completely undone underneath. . ."

"Okay! I can't fucking wait. Waiting is stupid. Why did I think it was a good idea?" Steve asked as he sat up and straddled Eddie. "You better not have tricked me, Munson."

"I would never," Eddie grinned.

"We should probably take this to your room," Steve said.

Eddie sat up, wrapped his arms around Steve, and stood up. He let Steve wrap his legs completely around his waist.

"Jesus, you're strong," Steve said.

"There must be something in those demobat's venom," Eddie said.

"Yeah, I think so. The last time I tried to hook up with someone, they, uh, couldn't keep up with me. I think my stamina might last a bit longer than usual," Steve said. "I've also been told I make a weird noise when, I, uh, well, you know."

"Hmm, let's test that stamina theory," Eddie said as he carried him to his bedroom.

The next morning. . .

Wayne stood with his arms crossed at Eddie's broken bed and the hole in the wall.

"We were protesting Valentine's Day," Eddie said sheepishly, and Wayne turned to look at him. "Okay, so, we were jumping on the bed. . . You're not buying any of this, are you?"

"Not even a little bit," Wayne said.

"I'll pay for it!" Steve exclaimed.

"Don't worry about it, son," Wayne said. "Those government assholes still owe us. . .just next time, be safe. . .with everything."

Wayne smiled in amusement before clapping Steve on the shoulder and leaving the room.

"Ooh. He approves," Eddie said with a smile and kissed him. "Happy Valentine's Day."

"Happy Valentine's Day," Steve said, laughing against his lips.

#stranger things #eddie munson #stranger things s4 #joseph quinn #steve harrington #eddie stranger things #eddie munson lives #steddie #steve x eddie #steve harrington x eddie munson #bisexual eddie munson #bisexual steve harrington #bi4bi #brief appearance of #wayne munson #stranger things fanfiction #rueleigh writes

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bar-cat73 · 3 months

Note

This is very important for me to know…

What’s your take on one-sided radiostatic as well as their dynamic in general?

Ooooo let me think 🤔🤔🤔

Tbh as much as I love watching those silly gooses…YOU COULD CUT THE TENSION WITH A KNIFE 🔪🔪‼️‼️‼️

We know Alastor likes to be this way with everyone, push people’s buttons and watch them short circuit, but vox is taking this PERSONALLY‼️‼️

and I know damn well it’s not just cuz he’s pissy abt Alastor rejecting his offer to join his team. So let’s get into some theory’s~~~

One of my personal favorites however~~~

(and imo one of the most realistic)

✨ One sided radio static✨

Vox fell head over heels for this adorable psychotic monster (who wouldn’t) and Alastor broke his heart. WHY IS THIS A POSSIBILITY❓❗️‼️ SURELY YOU CANT BE SERIOUS

WELL I AM AND ILL TELL YOU BUT DONT CALL ME SURLEY 😏😏😏

So I don’t think it’s been confirmed by Viv but google says Vox is bisexual and with this being a very diverse queer show I’d say there’s a PRETTYYYYYY good chance

from what we’ve seen of the degenerate television he’s a charismatic, not so educated, formal attitude, power craving showman. He acts big and bad, like he has any sort of control over anything, but as soon as someone mentions the radio demon SHIT. HITS. THE. FAN.

LOOK AT HIS FACE❓‼️ U CANT SIT HERE AND TELL ME HE AINT SHITTING IS PANTS RN

HES SCARED. HES NERVOUS. HES VULNERABLE.

BUT WHY. that’s the LAST thing you need to be as an overlord, especially a weak one. (Sorry Vox)

My theory is when our little silly goose saw this beautiful triangle ass after his overnight carnage-

he was hooked, hooked, HOOKED.

of course being the childish piss baby that he is, I wouldn’t think he would’ve DIRECTLY confessed. Only small subtle hints and YOU KNOW Alastor was looking like this the entire time-

But my Voxie baby is fucking clueless, doesn’t get the hints and Alastors done with his shit so when Vox FINALLY musters up the BALLS to ask him to join the Vs he kindly declines and it’s assuming he took it personally ever sense…

after all who was ALASTOR to decline this offer, a chances with the VEES❓‼️ HOW. DARE. HE.-

I mean obviously ANYONE would take the offer of becoming one of the VEES, “the most powerful overlords, amazing, blah blah blah” but you know at the end of the day they don’t have power over SHIT at least not compared to THEM.

In conclusion, I can confirm one sided radio static is canon because I was alastors microphone and I can’t wait to see more of the sillies. 💃💃💃

Extra: I LOVE Alastor and Voxs rivaling opinions on technology, the radio and television are both so alike yet so different and I love how that’s portrayed in these characters.

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clarcced · 6 months

Text

Chekov's Heart Shaped Gun - An Analysis Of What Love Means In Loki (TV)

What Sylki actually means and why it’s not romantic love. / How S1E3/4 and S2E5 prove that love is who one calls home. / How Lokius will prevail.

Let's begin our analysis in s1e3.

Sylvie says she can’t sleep when another version of themselves is around. She is stronger than most in the show, yet she lacks trust in themselves- then wakes up from her nap a scene later, but alas, her even saying that is interesting. On that note, Sylvie and Loki are variants of each other. It's only fair to say that they basically have the same trust issues.

Mobius is a trustworthy person overall but to a Loki that’s near impossible to come by as it seems. Loki sleeps soundly with Mobius literally across him, considering the fact that he too couldn't sleep around an untrustworthy person. He trusts Mobius, even before he met Sylvie.

Moving on, Loki takes the glasses offered to them on the train and drinks both upon Sylvie’s refusal to drink hers. The glasses and their contents are identical and have a green tint to them- which is symbolism to establish the fact that Loki and Sylvie are in fact the same person- in variance, supported by the cinematography of this scene: mirroring sides.

Loki drinking both can mean three things all together in this context which I transformed into sentences because I lack in English vocabulary:

“See, I am you, you can trust me.” – Which she doesn’t.

“I take what comes my way.” – Loki doesn’t go around looking for love in any shape or form and takes what is thrown at him – resulting in “whim-prone” actions.

“I can have my cake and eat it too.” as in Sylki stuff- which sounds like clumsy and desperate flirting to me, honestly. There is also the element of Loki’s massive ego in this context, which turns into self love and becomes less (self/)destructive as the show progresses throughout S1 and S2.

Why did they address Loki’s bisexuality in the show specifically? Verbal “representation” without context? That’s below this well-thought-out show’s writers.

I keep coming back to the wording.

"Would-be-princesses" - plural, derogatory (as in aspiring to be, but not one) "Another prince" - single, specific

[Note: I saw some people posting that the timeline name of Mobius "Don" means 'prince', but couldn't find that specific definition myself in any online dictionary/baby names site. Best definition I could find was "brown, chief, noble" over on Wikipedia, so for now let's refrain from that specific definiton and focus on what is given to us plain and straight. I'll make this note make sense in the end of this analysis.]

Or could it be perhaps to give them a common ground to stand on? Nope. They don’t stand on that common ground, not even for a minute.

A drink. (Ding ding ding!!!!)

Yes, a drink. When he gets that drink, he sings an Asgaridan (well, Norwegian) song:

In storm-blackened mountains, I wander alone

Across glaciers, I travel forth

In the apple orchard the fair maiden stands

And sings, "When will you come home?"

When she sings, she sings, "Come home."

So who’s the maiden exactly? Loki dedicates the song to Sylvie, but never says it was specifically written for a romantic love interest. Not gonna lie, I might be reaching here, but hear me out: the lyrics can go both ways. They talked about their mother and how Sylvie barely remembers hers. So, Loki, as he is, sings about a traveller coming home to a maiden, possibly his mother or lover, depending on the context at which the song is directed towards.

The only time we see Loki truly helpless against the world is when he mourns his mother. The purest form of love he has ever received, gone. Upon their conversation with Sylvie about what “love” is, Loki disagrees with it being mischief itself, instead takes time and a couple drinks and sings about a fair maiden- his mother calling him home. That is the only type of love he has truly ever felt for another.

Now imagine singing a song about your mother to another variant of yourself. Mommy issues much? Sure. Bad way to flirt? Absolutely. He basically shows Sylvie what he thinks love means to him, but also establishing a connection with Sylvie based on HIS mindset: They are the same. No matter what the maiden represents, a romantic interest or love for a mother, these two variants are of the same kind in the end.

“No. Terrible metaphor.�� Sylvie says. Fast forward to 3 episodes later in s1e6 she drops the dagger she holds on Loki’s throat and proceeds to kiss him, says they’re not the same and kicks him back into the TVA.

Being a Loki is not about being a villain and losing every time, it’s about surviving. To survive, they must adapt and adapting they do. They hold hands in s1e4 and a nexus event begins. A Loki, a so-called villain, in league with another Loki. No mischief, just loving each other- by each other by this point I’m talking about THEM as ONE. They easily could’ve kissed right then if their relationship was romantic, but they didn’t. They love themselves in that moment of an approaching apocalypse.

“But I’m not you.” – As the track “Stop” plays.- [The Sylki track that also played in the scene mentioned in the previous panel.]

Loki just wants Sylvie to be okay. He wants his inner mischievous giant to be okay. He wants his inner self to be okay. But Sylvie refuses this. She kisses him BECAUSE she refuses the fact that they can ever be the same or view love the same way. To Sylvie, love is very much real in the shape of a dagger, yet she drops it to the ground, then kisses Loki. Sylvie shows Loki that love is not what Loki thinks it is.

Love is not what Loki thinks it is.

Reality isn't what you think it is. -Loki to Mobius in s2e5

Fast forward to s2e5. Loki is in conflict with himself. – Thus, time slipping.

Everyone is sent back to their HOMES. Loki remains at the TVA when others are back in their original timelines- except Sylvie. She sees that McDonalds life as her home. So, that means, these people were sent to when and where they belonged before the TVA, or in case of Loki and Sylvie their respected new homes- also giving purpose to their belonging to that place- the when, where and why.

In Loki's mind, Mobius's home IS the TVA, his purpose, his 'glorious purpose' if you will. He searches around the TVA where him and Mobius spent their time pacing around or just sitting down to have a key lime pie.

Sylvie says that they are, in fact, Lokis of the same nature.

The acceptance.

Then it turns out it wasn’t about when, where or why. It’s about WHO. Loki could never have that drink because these two variants of the same species, Loki and Sylvie, are on different paths of life and love. Their roads have crossed but went their separate ways in the end.

Home.

It's about who, right? Loki could have found himself beside Sylvie in the McDonald's, easily, if he actually saw her as home. But no. He remained in the TVA, where Mobius once called home- which apparently he does too now. He belongs in the TVA with Mobius and their friends, with or without Sylvie.

This brings us to the smoking love shaped gun.

"Must've been would-be-princesses or perhaps, another prince."

"Love is... uh, something I might have to have another drink to think about."

2 people close to him offered him the drink he's yet to enjoy: Sylvie and Mobius.

The would-be-princess and the other prince.

"It's about who." Loki says, looking directly at Mobius.

He chooses the prince.

He makes it known to Sylvie at the very end of the episode, slowly turning to her: "I can rewrite the story."

He found his purpose in Mobius. He is the "who" that'll help him rewrite the story of time. He is home.

Thank you for sticking around till the end of this one. I appreciate any corrections/reminders of what I've missed or got wrong.

#loki #loki series #loki season 2 #loki laufeyson #lokius #mobius #mobius m mobius #loki s2 spoilers #loki theories #loki analysis #sylvie #sylvie laufeydottir

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animentality · 1 year

Note

heyheyhey idk if u know how cool and important it is to have a badass assassin story with something other than cis gays and have it be Not a Big Deal but,,, it’s literally one of the first legit published books I’ve ever found like it?? And in a genre that I love??? And written well?? And genuinely funny as fuck?? Idk I’ve never seen an enby that gets to exist without it being A Tragic Plot Point or something To Overcome so thank u??? Like so much???? I can’t tell u how much???? I definitely didn’t cry at all about it nope not even once

:DDDDDD omg, my heart started pumping faster when I saw this ask. I am always so giddy when people talk to me about my books, especially the specifics about characters and tone and things they liked!

Yeah, I wanted to include every goddamn color in the pride flag!!

Pansexual/ bisexual assassins, nonbinary demons, a transgender assassin, an unrealistic number of gay and lesbian demon summoners! That's my fantasy world. It's not talked about, because it's simply normal.

Irvine in particular I adore because I am nonbinary myself, but also because they are just so powerful, and they don't even know just how much yet!

I always disliked how many nonbinary characters in fantasy and sci fi are just token "they/them" body guards, robotic or asexual leaning non-humans, or quiet, unassuming love interests who only exist to show a character is pansexual or something.

Irvine was my love letter to my own identity because I thought hey what if there was a nonbinary character who just fucks shit up, every time they appear? What if there was an enby who just kicks ass and is sexily never showing their face, and wears a badass hood all the time?

And then Irvine was born. My little storm demon :)

Also, I don't know if you ever saw the commissioned art, but I will post it in this ask for your viewing pleasure:

so glad you love my child. my baby blorbo.

who i intend to put through the wringer, lemme tell you, because i like to put all my favorite characters through it.

So glad you find it unique too! I honestly was feeling so badly about it, after months of querying and beta swapping, and getting feedback from dozens of people who only found things to criticize as being too strange or too different or stylistically confusing.

I went through a year of being told it wasn't good, and-and I'm a little emotional and overcome with appreciation and gratitude to all the people who not only bought or downloaded the book while it was free, but who also actually read the whole thing, and found it GOOD.

Like people...think i...write well??? oh gosh. oh god.

chills.

The asks I get keep me going through this mundane, dull little world. They give me something to look forward to, in between the doldrums of normalcy...

They also validate me for thinking someone...someone out there must find this good...

Thanks for taking the time to send this ask :))) it means the world to me.

I save them all in my drafts so I can look at them when I'm sad...

Also, THANK YOU FOR NOTICING THAT THE BOOK IS FUNNY.

in between the angst and the action and the blood-filled fist fighting and crazy sniper/melee battles, there is a lot of dark comedy!

I love dark comedy. I love satire.

As much as I love being edgy, I think a story without any humor at all is unbearable.

I want you to hurt with my characters...but you should also laugh with them! Laugh at them! Be amused by their stupidity...or by their cleverness.

Be charmed by their vulnerability, but also their insane, abnormal, bizarre points of view!

AAAAH, I'm so glad you found it funny AND heart-breaking!

That is exactly what I want every story of mine to be.

Thank you thank you thank you for this ask!!

Link to referenced book here, for all the poor spectators who have to see me blubbering like a child.

Please leave a review on Amazon/Goodreads if you haven't already, but if you have, thank you for that too! Every review helps me out so much!

#writing #writers on tumblr #writeblr #reading #book recs #literature #spilled ink #ao3 #lgbt #nonbinary #assassins #demons #demon summoners

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yelenasdiary · 6 months

Text

Read this or don't, that's completely fine. I was going to explain everything in a reply to an ask that I was sent but an anon that has nothing to do with this, they are lovely! I just think a post on its own is more appropriate.

Below the cut I warn you that topics like, Sexual Assault, Physical & Mental abuse are spoken about. Please do not bother to read this if you're not comfortable. I literally do not expect anybody to read this, I am simply posting this because of how I am feeling towards the asks I received before I went to bed last night.

I just want to say that I've been open about certain things in my life on here and that is simply because I want my blog to welcome everybody (within reason). I want those who unfortunately have been through similar stuff to feel seen, heard and know you are loved! I want those who feel alone to know that you're never alone, I am here for you, my blog is here for you.

This isn't the first time I have received asks about my sexual experiences. A month or two ago I received a spam of asks that I never answered because of how disturbing and outright disgusting they were. Now, after last night, I feel that I need post this. I am not asking for anything in return, I just want to make that clear. All I want is for people to understand the hurt I am currently feeling.

I've always been open on here about the fact that I am a virgin. It's nothing that I feel ashamed about, I don't think there is anything wrong with it. I know there are plenty of people like myself who are also virgins. I wish there were more people who are open about being a virgin, if people can be so open about the fact they aren't a virgin, why can't we be open about the fact we are?

So when this anon asked if I was a virgin, I was honest and said yes. My mind was already racing with "oh god, what's next?" and I was just hoping whoever they are was jus being curious. But instead, I feel like they've made me ashamed of the fact I am a virgin, 25 and write smut.

TW; SA, Physical & Mental Abuse Mentioned -

A few of you would already know that unfortunately yes, I am a victim of sexual assault. I was a child and it was something that happened daily for a couple of years. Due to this, I have trauma, PTSD, depression and anxiety. I grew up with little knowledge on the basics of sex because of how triggering it was for me. I couldn't sit in on sexual education classes, I couldn't joke around about penis's with my friends let along look at one. For so long, I genuinely believed what happened to me was normal. I was 12 when I realised it wasn't.

It took me years to even be okay with the topic of sex, to see it in movies or even think of it. My sexuality wasn't something I always questioned, I had a big crush on Bieber during my teen years and there were a few other male celebrities that I found rather attractive, it wasn't until I was 17 that I saw women in a different way and tbh, the feeling I got from thinking about myself in a relationship with a woman was a lot more comforting then it was to thinking of myself with a male.

Did my abuse make me bisexual? Maybe. I don't know. I don't really care. I like women a lot more than I like men, I feel more comfortable talking to women than I do men.

Did my abuse stop me from having 'normal' teenage experiences? Yes. I have never physically been with anybody, I have never kissed anybody nor have I ever been on a date. Is that sad? maybe to some, to me? No.

I have little to no trust in males. Given that my abuser also physically abused me for such little things and mentally, I don't know what it feels like to not have the thoughts I do about myself. This person has ruined so much of my life and has had control over what I do because of the trauma they caused me.

But all that aside for a moment, I am still a human. I am a woman who still feels things. I am learning every day of new things. I have done plenty of research for the things I felt I missed out on in school. I have a best friend who is so fucking patient and understanding with me that he will explain things to me if needed.

Writing & reading smut over the last year has been really good for me. I don't mean that in a weird way, I mean that in a way it has helped me explore things I didn't know were a thing, it has helped me grow more comfortable with sex and that sex is a normal thing. Don't worry, I know what is written in smut is purely fiction, I know what happens in porn isn't real. I am not stupid.

But I can't sit here and say that smut has been really helpful. Some of you might not understand that and that's okay. But I have come a long way with being comfortable and finally feeling like I can be open about things I enjoy.

Back to this anon.

Yes, I am 25 and never had sex. I have never voluntarily sucked a guy off. i have never voluntarily slept with a male, touched a male or seen a males body. Why any of that is important to you makes no sense to me. You have brought back things that I wish to not think about. You have made me feel triggered and as though I shouldn't be writing such topics because of my lack of experience. You had no consideration whats so ever and I believe found it rather funny.

I am feeling so many feelings and having thoughts that I wish to express but I know you'll most likely see it has a sob story and make matters worse. What I do hope though is that if you have read this that you understand that your words and actions hurt. I am not weak for telling you this, I am not weak for not having any sexual experience, I am not weak for asking you to understand that your thoughtless actions were not called for.

I do not need to have sex to know what I am doing. I do not need to have sex with a cis male to know how to write about dicks. I do not need you to make me feel ashamed of this either.

This is already such a long post and I don't even expect anybody to still be reading this but if you are, please, please remember to always be kind! spread love, support and happiness. You honest have no idea what your words and actions can do to somebody. Be aware and be considerate, you would never want your closest friends to feel that way I am currently feeling.

I am sending love to everybody, if you ever need a friend to talk too my DMS//asks are always open. I will listen and be whoever it is you need 💜

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vriskabot · 2 months

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do you have any davris headcanons?

i saw this ask the instant it came in and i could not believe my EYES. trust when i tell you ive been typing FURIOUSLY in the meantime okay. okay headcanons. -dave has always been a little genderweird and vriska putting makeup on him when she was bored one night unlocked his third eye and now he cant stop putting red shit all over his eyelids -vriska has also always been genderweird and you can see where im going with this. -she steals his clothes ALL the time -he pretends to hate it when she gets her disgusting $5 perfume stink all over said clothes but you know he loves that shit (and she knows it too) -flaming bisexuals -once theyve been together for a while they are THE most "i am going to have the longest silent conversation with someone across the room you have ever seen in your life" -they both think they can read each other like a book but in truth its only about 60-70% accurate -the inaccuracies are always funny as fuck though and 9 times out of 10 its some entirely off the wall MADNESS due to their upbringings they think is entirely normal. the conversations that directly follow these revelations are legendary amongst the extended crew and every single one thats happened in a public memo has been screenshotted by basically everyone they know -speaking of which. i dont think they dm for basically anything ever. they either have conversations right in the GC (sometimes in the middle of other conversations, which karkat fucking HATES, especially when they flirt with each other) or they speak in person/over the phone. no in between -they flirt with each other all the time and its disgusting but its incomprehensible to literally everyone else. vriska tells dave she found some gnarly roadkill and sends coordinates and dave is like "babe stop not in front of everybody" -she used to send pictures too but that got shut down real quick and now thats really all she dms him for -i dont think vriska likes it for the same reasons dave does but he did absolutely get her into the weird and wacky world of vulture culture. dave likes the wet specimens the most but vriskas a fan of bones and taxidermy -speaking of which. this is more vriska/troll-centric but i love the idea of vriska being able to eat bones. dave gets the same schoolboy "oh my god this is so cool" kick out of it every single time -im well aware that music is a time thing but i genuinely cannot comprehend a world wherein vriska is not a music girlie. this definitely did a lot of the heavy lifting in The Early Days because when youre emotionally constipated sometimes you gotta let a song do the talking FOR you -vriska 100% introduced dave to crunkcore and he got way more into it than she ever did. he listens to 3oh3 religiously -dave samples vriska on his tracks all the time because she CANNOT shut the fuck up. he also likes taking pictures of her but even after years together he still kinda keeps those to himself and gets flustered when she finds one -man i just really love the idea of them being fucking obsessed with each other. they rag on each other ALL the time because thats just how they feel the most comfortable being affectionate but at the end of the day they snuggle up all soft and quiet and just enjoy being with somebody who understands how hard it can be to even allow that to happen in the first place -they ARE super casually affectionate with each other though, even in group settings. i dont think theyd like grand pda like kissing or saying 'i love you' in public but personal space just doesnt really exist for them. they hang off each other and sling legs over laps all willy nilly -they also stim on each other. dave likes to play with her hair while hes talking and vriska likes to play with his hands/fingers when shes bored this post is so LONG i could keep going for days. please always ask me about davris, especially if youve got more specific questions!!!

#homestuck #dave strider #vriska serket #vriska #davris #davevris #we8comic #ironies in the fire #q+a with vel #Anonymous #SORRY I KINDA WENT OFF #please everyone talk to me about davris For Ever

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