#but for privacy reasons i’m really not comfortable sharing it online

[minniesmutt]

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♱ ━━━ CONTENT: ORAL [F. REC] FINGERING, MULTIPLE ORGASMS, OVERSTIM, PET NAMES, UNPROTECTED SEX, NIPPLE PLAY, CUM SHOT, CUM EATING/SHARING, AFTERCARE ♱ ━━━ WC: 1.9K ♱ ━━━ PAIRING: HAN X READER ♱ ━━━ 18+ work!! minors and ageless/blank blogs DNI! you will be blocked, put an indicator on your blog somewhere that you are 18+ before interacting with this work/blog ♱ ━━━ a repost from my old blog

     After a short nap, Y/n took to unpacking the things she had brought. It was mostly clothing and a few photos but nothing else. Maybe if she asked, one of them would take her shopping. 

     She heard the elevator ding and peeked her head out of the bedroom. Chan walked out, hands in the pockets of his slacks. Y/n stepped out of the room and met him in the hallway 

     “How are you settling it?” Chan asked as he wrapped an arm around her

     “Fine, the place is a bit bare though,” Y/n told him.

     “I’ll have one of the guys take you out shopping tomorrow. I just came by to see how you were settling in and to go over something with you.”

     “Oh?”

     “Come on,” Chan pulled her into the kitchen. Sitting down at the table he had put in for her and pulling out a stack of paper

     “What’s this?” Y/n asked skimming through the words

     “Contract. Jist of it says what you’ll be doing as a front and you will be paid for the work you help us with,” Chan stated

     “You guys are paying me but you’re also basically paying everything for me?”

     “Think of it as fallback money. If something happens to us for any reason or another, for any amount of time, you’re not left with nothing to fall back on, financially that is.”

     “How considerate.” Y/n smiled, “I’m assuming there’s another part that talks about sex.”

     “Yeah. Every one of us has our own version of this contract. But you're welcome to update anything in it to your comfort level. Most of it goes over what we are into and that every single one of us is clean.” Chan explained

     “Well, so am I, guess there really is no point in condoms,” Y/n smiled

     “Only to prevent a pregnancy.”

     “I’m on birth control. Don't worry about that.”

     Chan explained a couple more things; everyone was made aware of using the traffic light system as a safeword— tapping them twice if she was able to talk for whatever reason as a fallback—, aftercare being important to all of them no matter what, promising her safety from anyone outside of them, etc. Y/n read through the papers as she listened to him, making a few adjustments here and there, but mostly agreeing with what everyone wanted. She signed her name where needed and turned the paper back to him. Chan checked everything and made a quick message about changes to the rest of the guys. 

     “We don’t expect you to memorize anything either. And it doesn't have to be one way, you can ask us for sex too.”

     “Thanks, Chan,” Y/n smiled at him

     “No need to thank me,” Chan smiled back

     “Is there anything else I should know now that I live here?”

     “Say goodbye to your privacy,” Chan chuckled

     The two laughed for a moment before Chan got called away. Y/n saw him off before going into her living room. They had been kind enough to furnish the apartment for her so that was one thing she didn't have to worry about. She figured she’d do a little online shopping for a bit. Adding things she just thought were pretty to her cart, even if she didn't need them. She’ll find a use for them.

     She heard the elevator again and ignored it after looking up for a second, one of the guys came in to see her, something she was quickly getting used to. 

     “Whatcha doing,” Jisung asked as he joined her on the couch, laying on top of her as she was laid back against the armrest

     “Shopping,” Y/n answered as she peered down at him. 

     “For what?” He asked

     “House decorations, clothes, random shit.”

     “Doesn’t sound like fun.”

     “Well, I was bored and that’s why I started. If you have better ideas, I’m all ears.” Y/n dropped her phone on her chest and looked down at him

     “Just keep shopping,” Jisung smirked

     Y/n shrugged and picked her phone back up. Scrolling through the website she was on. Jisung pushed her shirt up a bit then pulled her leggings off her legs. Y/n lifted her hips a bit to help him as he adjusted her legs to lay over his shoulders as he came face to face with her clothed cunt. 

     Y/n peeked down at him before he started kissing down and licking the cloth of her panties. Y/n let out a small moan as he continued teasing her over the fabric. Nonetheless, she kept shopping. 

     Eventually, he removed the fabric and softly kissed her clit, licking the bud to her entrance. Y/n smiled as she peered down at him. One hand removed itself from her phone and ran her fingers through his hair, gazing back at her screen. Jisung picked up his pace after a few moments until he was eating her like a starved man. 

     It wasn’t long till the phone and shopping were forgotten. Her hands tangled in his soft locks and her legs threatened to close around his head. 

     Han hummed against her clit as she gave him a particularly harsh tug. His eyes cast up her body as flicked the little bud. “Fuck Ji,” Y/n moaned

     Jisung didn’t dare let up. Playing with her clit and entrance with his tongue. Enjoying the taste of her juices on his lips and dripping down his chin. He just gave a bit more pressure when he sucked on her clit which seemed to do it for her. Hips rutted against his mouth as he licked her clean from her orgasm. 

     “So fucking good,” He wasn’t letting up. He continued making out with her sensitive clit. Y/n closed her legs around his head as much as she could. Jisung groaned against her cunt, eyes rolling into the back of his head, just from her thighs suffocating him slightly. 

     He pushed her thighs up after a minute. Putting them to her chest as he kept going. 

     “Close,” Y/n whimpered as she grabbed the cushions. 

     “Give me ‘nother,” Ji mumbled against her clit. He pushed one leg over the back of the couch to free up a hand. 

     Soon he was pushing two fingers into her and matching his pace to the rate he was eating her out

     “Fuck!” Y/n cried as her second orgasm hit her. 

     Ji kept going through her high. Fingers pumping in and out of her as he pulled his hips from her clit and sat up on his knees. “One more doll. Give one more and I’ll give you whatever you want,” Jisung begged as he pulled her other leg over his shoulder and kissed her ankle 

     “Need your cock,” Y/n whined, legs slightly shaking

     “One more baby and I'll give it to ya’.” a third finger pushed into her

     “Too much,” Y/n whined as she grabbed his wrist 

     “Color?”

     “Green!” Y/n called as his fingers curled into just the right spot 

     “You can take it, doll,” Ji smiled 

     He pushed forward till he had her coming on his fingers. Her body convulsed under him as he pulled his fingers out, watching her juices flow out of her and soak the cushions. 

     “Good job doll,” Jisung smiled as he leaned down and kissed her forehead. 

     He gave her a moment to come down and rest. He took off his belt, setting it on the coffee table. 

     “Where the fuck did you learn to eat pussy that good?” Y/n asked after her mind out of its haze a bit more

     “Now why would I tell you?” He smirked as he leaned over her.

     “Secrets are hot. You know what's hotter?”

     “What?”

     “Your dick in me.”

     Jisung didn’t waste another second pulling ever fully down onto the couch and unbuttoning his pants and pulling his hard dick out, far too eager to actually take his pants off. Y/n couldn’t help but giggle at his eagerness and worked on unbuttoning his top and pushing it off him as he pumped his cock. He took his hand off his cock to take the white shirt off his body. Her hand replaced his on his cock, pumping him and lining the tip up at her entrance.

     Jisung tossed the fabric to the ground before grabbing her hips and pushing into her. Both moaned as they got quickly used to the feeling. Jisung pushed his pants and boxers down more as he let her adjust to him. 

     “Fuck, move Ji,” Y/n whined 

     Jisung pushed her t-shirt up over her breast and moved her legs around his waist. He laid his hand on the armrest above her head. He pulled out slowly and thrusted back in quickly. His eyes glanced back and forth from her tits bouncing with his thrusts to her cunt swallowing him. 

     Y/n was a mess of moans and whines from him going down on her and making her come three times. Her walls were already clenching around him. 

     “Fucking warm,” Jisung groaned as his hips snapped into her. 

     Y/n tightened her legs around his waist. One of his hands fell from the armrest to lay next to her body. He lowered himself a bit to kiss between her breasts then sucked on the skin. Y/n ran her hands through his hair as his lips latched onto her nipple. Y/n gripped his hair tighter, clenching it around him. 

     “Keep clenching around me doll and I’m gonna blow,” his words were muffled against her boob, shifting his ministrations over to the other nipple and giving it the same treatment he gave the other

     “Give…me, please.” Y/n whined. Her legs hiked up higher on his waist as she got closer to her next high.

     “Got you all dumb on my cock,” Jisung couldn’t help but chuckle at her.

     His tip hit right up against her g-spot. She pulled at his hair as her orgasm hit her again. The man above her pulled away from her nipples and gave himself a few more thrusts before pulling out; coming on her lower stomach. 

     Jisung rested his head on her chest as they both caught their breath. It took a few minutes before Jisung lowered himself down and then looked up at her. Y/n caught his gaze as he licked his cum from her skin. Y/N shivered under the touch of his tongue before he pulled away, bringing his lips back up to hers. His tongue immediately darted into her mouth. Y/n melted as his cum transferred from his tongue to hers.

     Ji pulled away after another moment of enjoying her lips. “You could’ve come inside,” Y/n told him

     “I’ll keep that in mind for next time.” Jisung smiled.

     He stood up from the couch and fully took his pants off. He scooped her up in his arms making her squeak in surprise. Her arms wrapped around his neck as he made his way to her bathroom. 

     Jisung sat her down before giving her a forehead kiss. He started a warm bath for the both of them before walking out of the room and grabbing their clothes. Y/n took care of herself by the time he came back and checked the water. 

     “How are you feeling,” Jisung asked as he helped her into the water after he got in.

     “Tired,” Y/n sighed, leaning back against him.

     Jisung wrapped his arms around her body and kissed her shoulder, “Go to sleep, I’ll take care of you.” 

     “Thank you, Ji.”

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[katnisspeetaprim]

Privacy Part 2 Yoongi/Reader

Summary: Y/N is finding it difficult to deal with the hatred she is recieving thans to those videos.

Warnings: anxiety, swearing, slut shaming, suggestive content, female reader

Word count: 2419 M.list

‘It’s fine Mom really, I don’t need to come home.’ Your Mom had been trying to get you to travel back home ever since the news broke. You’d been trying your best to avoid her calls, but you knew you wouldn’t be able to ignore your family forever. Honestly your mother hadn’t really been much help during the whole situation in fact, Yoongi’s own mother had been much more of a comfort to you. 2 days ago just after you found out, Yoongi’s mother had called you. Apparently she had already spoken to her son but wanted to make sure that you were ok also. You locked yourself in the bathroom so Yoongi wouldn’t hear you sobbing down the phone to his Mom. He definitely heard you.

‘I’m worried Y/N. I know you said it’s being handled but that doesn’t do anything to calm me down.’

‘Worried for me or your reputation?’ You mumbled to yourself. ‘Listen Mom, me and Yoongi just want our own space right now.’ You explained, wanting nothing more than to end the conversation.

‘Ok. I’ll let you go for now but I’m still going to be calling for updates.’

‘Ok mom. Bye.’ With that the call ended. As you pulled the phone from your ear, you couldn’t help but stare at the many notifications on your home screen.

You knew that you shouldn’t be looking at your social media right now, Yoongi knew full well what the fallout would be and he didn’t want you exposed to that kind of hate.... But you couldn’t help it.The unseen force of morbid curiosity too strong, as it pushed you to open the Twitter app and see what kind of awful names you were being called.

Slut and whore were some of the most prominent insults being thrown around. Though not very creative the words still stung you. You had been with Yoongi since early 2015, 8 years together and you were being called a slut for it. You also couldn’t help but notice that nobody had anything bad to say about Yoongi, in fact he was getting nothing but praise for how he’s handled the situation so far. You’d never wish hate on the love of your life, but you couldn’t help but scoff at the double standard people online held.

The things that disgusted you the most though were the people sharing their disgusting fantasies about the videos. It made you physically sick. Why would someone feel it was ok to comment about how hot or turned on they were by somebody’s leaked sex tapes? Or feel the need to talk about different parts of your bodies like you were a science experiment?

The company had been fast to put out a statement about what was happening. Bang PD personally assured the two of you that their best lawyers had been put on the case.

The other boys had also been especially supportive. All just generally trying to be there for the two of you if you needed a shoulder to cry on, and nobody talked about the videos unless either you or Yoongi bough them up first.

Both you and Yoongi had tried to go on as normal at first, but you couldn’t shake the nagging voice at the back of your mind.

'Y/N? Tae called, asked if we’d like to go round for drinks later.’ Yoongi stepped into the bedroom just in time to see you hurrying to shut off your phone. He stared at you in disbelief.

‘You were looking again, weren’t you?’ He accused glaring at you from the doorway, though he already knew the answer. When you didn’t answer and refused to meet his gaze, he threw his hands up in the air.

‘Y/N there is a reason we were told to stay of social media. Shit like this.’ He angrily snatched your phone from you so he could see what you were looking at. He was in disbelief that you wold continue to torture yourself like this.

‘Are you going to say anything!?’ He crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes when you still refused to speak.

‘Y/N I swear-‘

‘You don’t get it.’ You cut him off, voice barely above a whisper. Your fingers nervously playing with the hem of your skirt.

‘Are you insane? Of course I get-‘ Yoongi was about to start yelling before you cut him off.

‘No you don’t Yoongi!’ You snapped, finally looking up to see his shocked face.

‘I know you are upset and scared and angry, I’m not debating that!’ You let out a shaky breath as you paused to calm down, not sure if you wanted to continue.

‘What then?’ He hesitantly made his way back over and sat on the bed next to you. You also hesitated for a moment before you sat up on your knees to face him, cupping his hands.

‘All this hate I see, all the horrible names and words...It’s all directed at me.’ Yoongi’s face softened at your words, immediately understanding your anger.

‘Ah Y/N...’ He started but you quickly cut him off.

‘It’s not that I want people to say that stuff about you...I just don’t understand why people have to be so cruel towards me . After how long we’ve been together.’ The tears started to fall once again. That’s all you seemed to be doing these days, crying. You felt pathetic for lack of a better word. Yoongi pulled you into his strong arms, trying to give you any kind of comfort he could.

‘I’m so sorry. If I could take an of this pain away then I would in a heartbeat.’

‘No I’m sorry. I’m being selfish making this about only me when you are upset too.’ You angled your head to place it in the crook of his neck. His scent  always did do wonders in calming you down.

‘Listen.’ He broke the silence. ‘I’ve been called in for a meeting today with Bang PD.’ He pulled back to look at you properly.

‘You don’t have to come but it might be good for us to both be on the same page.’ You also sat up to face him. It would definitely put your mind at ease if you could see what kind of progress had been made, though it didn’t make facing people any easier...

‘And we can go to Tae’s right after?’ You mumbled, looking at him through your eyelashes. The idea of drinks sounded pretty good right now.

‘If that’s what you want.’ He nodded eagerly at you. ‘As long as you don’t mind the other boys being there too?’

‘No. It will be good to see them.’ And you really meant it. If anyone could distract you for a few hours, its those goofy guys.

Once the two of you arrived at the BigHit offices, you were both ushered straight into Bang PD’s office.

‘Y/N it’s great to see you it’s been a while, please.’ He gestured for you to take a seat at his desk, Yoongi doing the same.

‘So I wont beat around the bush. We all know why we are here.’ Yoongi reached his hand out and placed it on your thigh, giving it a comforting squeeze.

‘Most of the sites we sent cease and desists to have co operated and removed the videos. We are still working on cracking some of them but it’s a start. Plus we have been blacklisting any online account associated with the videos.’ Both you and Yoongi were listening intently. Even though this was a small victory, you were both overjoyed that you were getting somewhere.

‘That’s good news isn’t it?’ Yoongi spoke up from beside you.

‘Yes most definitely, however.’ There always had to be a but didn’t there? Your eyebrows knotted together as you continued to listen. ‘We still don’t know how or why this happened or who is responsible. Our lawyers are in contact with the Las Vegas police, but until they have any leads , we’re in the dark I’m afraid.’ Your shoulders sagged at the news and you gripped Yoongi’s hand on your thigh tightly. There was a person out there that had the raw uncut video file of those daysyou spent in the hotel. About 4 hours in total of footage had been released so far of the two of you, but nobody knows for sure how much footage actually exists. Those cameras must have ben there for at least a week after all...

It didn’t actually hit you that a person was behind this until this very meeting. Of course in the back of your mind you knew, but you just wished people would be better.

‘Yoongi, I’m gonna wait outside if that’s ok? He sent  a worried look your way before nodding and saying that he shouldn’t be much longer.

‘Thank you for coming down Y/N. I promise we wont stop until everything is fixed.’ Bang PD  bowed his head slightly to you and you did the same before rushing from the room. You made your way back to the waiting room and plopped yourself down in the chair most out of the way. Your phone had been buzzing during the meeting.

You couldn’t stop the roll of your eyes as you read over your moms texts. She had never liked Yoongi  for reasons unknown to you. He had been nothing but respectful to your family any time you had been forced to interact with them, but she just refused to accept your relationship. You didn’t want to admit it, but you couldn’t help but think that your mother held Yoongi under some racist stereotype that she refused to let go of. It was the only thing you could think of as to why she would hate him so much.

It was only when you threatened to cut off all contact with her did she back off a little. Her last message really made your blood boil though. Of course she only cared about her own image. You knew she didn’t really care how you got effected, as long as nobody thought ill of her everything would be fine in her world.

‘Hey you ok? Yoongis steady voice pulled you from your thoughts. ‘You look upset.’

‘It’s nothing.’ You huffed out, quickly tucking away your phone. ‘It’s just my mom again. Let’s go, I’m dying for a drink.’ He sighed  to himself before following behind you.

You were able to let loose a little at Tae’s get together. The alcohol you had consumed allowing you to relax and have fun with your friends. Yoongi stayed sober that night to drive. He knew you needed the escape more than he did right now.

When you both arrived home later that night, both you and Yoongi felt like some weight had been lifted off your shoulders.

‘I had a lot of fun tonight.’ You turned to face Yoongi, placing your arms round his shoulders and flashed him a small smile.

‘I’m glad. We both needed it.’ He returned your smile. Yoongi gently placed his hands on your hips and pulled you close to him, capturing your lips in a soft kiss. You happily leaned into him, enjoying the intimacy. You and Yoongi hadn’t had sex with each other since you returned home to Korea for obvious reasons. Even though you knew it was impossible, you couldn’t shake the feeling that you were still being watched. That somebody had managed to break into your home and place cameras there too. This paranoia was still at the front of your mind, regardless of the alcohol in your system.

‘Let’s go to the bedroom.’ You whispered . Yoongi nodded slightly in response. Your heart was pounding loudly in your chest as you made out with Yoongi. Both of you now only in your underwear as you straddled him. His hands kneaded your ass as yours got lost in his hair. You wanted this, you really did but you couldn’t stop the panic from bubbling up to the surface.

‘We don’t have to do this you know.’ Yoongi pulled away from you when he felt you stiffen above him.

‘No I want to, it’s just...’ You were quick to answer him but trailed off, not really sure how to voice your concern.

‘I get it. You don’t need to explain.’ He spoke softly, stroking your face as he did. You gave him a sad smile as you leaned back in to kiss him.

‘I love you so much Yoongi.’

‘I love you too jagi.’ As the kiss deepened, you pulled back again, resting your forehead on his.

‘Do you mind if we turn out the lights? And get under the covers?’ You bit your lip, nervous that he would think you were being ridiculous. But the judgement didn’t come. He quickly shimmed the sheets out from beneath the two of you and draped them round your hips, before reaching out and flicking off the bed side light, submerging the two of you in darkness. The two of you shared a wonderful night together, heads full of thoughts only of one another.

The next morning, you awoke alone in the bed. It was still early so you sat up confused. You got up and dressed before making your way to the kitchen, only to find Yoongi sat in the living room. He wasn’t dressed, only wearing the boxers he had thrown on the night before. He was just staring at the wall, hard look on his face as he was deep in thought.

‘Hey... Why did you get up so early?’ You sat down next to him, pulling your knees up to your chest. ‘Yoongi?’ You tried again when he didn’t answer.

‘I got a call from one of the lawyers just now.’ You sat up straight, attention captured. You gestured for him to continue.

‘They found the person who planted the cameras.’ Your eyes widened in shock at his bluntness.

‘What!? H-how...’ You could barely talk. This was a good thing right?

‘They want us to come into the office asap for a meeting.’

‘Yes of course! Let me um, I’m just gonna make myself presentable.’ He could hear the waver in your voice as you sprang up.

‘You should get dressed too.’ He watched you practically sprint into the bedroom. He rubbed his hand across his face, stress building up. He didn’t want to get his hopes up for the meeting, just for them to be shot down.

#bts #bts x reader #imagine #one shot #scenario #drabble #reaction #smut #fluff #angst #kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #kim namjoon #park jimin #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook

[transgenderteensurvivalguide]

Lee says:

TransBucket has been an invaluable resource for me throughout my medical transition.

I would spend hours on the site looking at photos that I’d already seen because it helped me prepare for my own medical transition and it helped me feel like what I wanted was a possibility.

Seeing the ‘before and after’ photos from other trans people who had gotten top surgery and phalloplasty gave me so much hope at a time when I was really struggling with dysphoria and depression.

I’m someone who has benefited in ways that I can’t even fully express from the post-op community’s generosity. I don’t know if I would have the life that I have now without it.

After I had my top surgery and hysterectomy, I chose to upload my photos to TransBucket to give back to the community (in a small way) and help others as I had been helped.

This is largely why I hesitated in sharing photos of vulnerable moments depicting surgical healing, although I ultimately did upload several photos showing the early weeks and months of recovery.

I didn’t upload any photos after I had fully healed and gotten tattoos to hide my surgery scars because I was worried about my privacy, which is something I still struggle with, and I ultimately decided to not upload photos of my genitals after phalloplasty for the same reason.

While I always knew TransBucket was publicly accessible, the mention of the site in the news made me reconsider whether I wanted to continue having my images hosted there.

The site being down for the past couple of months has given me some pause, but today, 5+ years after getting top surgery and making my first TransBucket submission, I have gone back and deleted some (but not all) of my post-top surgery and post-hysterectomy images.

I’m still considering what the best way is for me to protect myself from transphobic cisgender people who might use my images in ways that are incompatible with my views and how I feel about my body, and also protect myself from some of the hate coming from within the community as many of the most hurtful comments about about post-op bodies like mine are often made by pre-op and non-op trans people.

I became a mod on this blog when I had just turned 16 and I had top surgery at 18. I shared things online that I probably wouldn’t have shared if I had been if I had become a mod at my current age in my early 20’s, but the internet is forever and I can’t take it all back, even if my feelings on my online privacy have changed.

I would like to encourage our followers to take a moment and reevaluate their internet privacy as well, and think about what things they’re comfortable with sharing going forward.

I’m not saying that you should delete your images from TransBucket specifically— I might even end up reuploading mine there at some point, with some redactions for privacy. But you should think about what photos you are okay with sharing online a lot longer and harder than I did.

All that said, I’d like to circle back to my original point— that TransBucket has been an incredible resource for me (and many others) and it continues to be one of the first things that I recommend to anyone who is considering gender-affirming surgery (and is not a minor in the jurisdiction in which they reside as the site hosts images of genitals and it is against the terms of service for minors to join).

I would like to thank the admin of @transbucket for all the work they’ve done, and encourage our followers to assist them if they are able to:

#Lee says #transbucket #trans #transgender #top surgery #phalloplasty #hysterectomy #hysto #phallo #medical transitioning #post-op

[dnpbeats]

I do feel like they are probably more open about 'acting like a couple' in public now, specifically bc that fear of being caught and outed is gone, because a) they are out now, and b) i dont think many people in their audience now would post a photo of them acting that way if they saw them in public, not for that reason, that wouldn't be the focus, and even less people i feel would engage with anything like that if they did see it online. Take that interveiw for example that dan did for wad, in 2016 'basically, yeah' would've be all people would talk about for years, and it would've been this massive thing, but bc it was published last year, it fizzled out really quickly bc it seemed like dan was pressured to say that, where as the tortoises quote is still being repeated daily bc he said that of his own free will and it was the gayest thing ive ever heard. So for the same reason if for example there was a photo of them holding hands or whatever in public, it wouldn't be as big of a thing, bc its not something they decided to share? If that makes sense? Where as if it was in a gaming video we would all talk about it forever.

This is all a long way of saying i think (i hope) they feel a lot less scared to exist as a couple in society now. However, with that being said, I think they have gone their whole relationship not showing a lot of pda, so I do think they wouldn't really do anything super coupley in public, bc i dont think its something they are used to at all. If I was them, it wouldnt be something I would feel comfortable doing at all, even after I was 'allowed to', especially with how much they value privacy. They know they care about each other, they dont need pda to show that they care, bc theyve never needed it before. Idk maybe im thinking about this too much.

you make really good points anon! I wasn’t rly thinking about that before u brought it up but I do think you’re right that their audience nowadays is a lot more respectful of their privacy and would not post/engage with things that they themselves did not willing share. And totally agree that they don’t need pda to show that they care for each other. And yeah I’m sure it would be weird for them after so long of not doing it! But I don’t think that that necessarily means that they don’t ever want to be at a point where they feel comfortable doing it yk?

#and dw lol i don’t think you’re thinking abt it too much! #ask #anon #d&p

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

TW for possible emotional abuse and gaslighting. discussion of PTSD symptoms. guilt(?)

I’m looking for support and validation if that’s ok! I don’t really want to use a nickname for paranoia reasons as well.

I think last year I was in a bad relationship. I can’t really remember anything (and I mean that literally, it’s like a huge gap in my memory with little disconnected pieces of memories here and there). I have really intense C-PTSD that makes it incredibly hard to function. I don’t really feel comfortable talking about my symptoms in detail but they feel very extreme and even the smallest trigger can cause me to mentally shut down for weeks. I feel like I’m living in a constant fear, like my body is always on survival mode and I can’t turn it off.

but the thing is I can’t seem to accept the idea that I’ve been abused. It scares me to even say it. I’m deathly afraid it’ll make its way back to my ex and they’ll try to hurt me (though again I can’t remember why I would think that). I’m scared that I won’t be taken seriously. And I just… can’t imagine accepting it. I feel like I’d be betraying my ex in a way, because they were generally a nice, well-liked person and throughout the whole relationship I felt like the bad abusive person. And they told me so themselves, too, several times. I do remember trying really hard to change myself for them, trying to be docile and quiet to avoid upsetting them and it was never enough. Nothing I could do was ever right, no matter what I ended up making them really upset and that alone made/makes me feel horrible. I often feel like I can’t trust myself or my own thoughts. I went through a phase where I wanted to be put on mood stabilizers because I felt like I could never be in a good relationship without being completely passive somehow.

Everything I have been told by friends and therapists, everything I’ve seen online is telling me that I’ve probably been gaslit and manipulated and in my logical mind I know this, but no matter how hard I work on myself I cannot shake the idea that I’m a horrible abusive person. I feel like I don’t deserve sympathy. I feel like a monster, I feel worthless, I feel like I’m walking on eggshells with everyone because they’ll see me as a mean person if I assert myself(?). I do everything in my power to please others so they don’t think I’m bad. I’ve ended up in a lot of unhealthy relationships since then because of this.

So I don’t know, I guess I just need to hear an outside take on this. I feel like I’m stuck and I want to get un-stuck. I want to be able to move on and be a better person, but I don’t know how or if it’s even possible. Sorry if this is too long! If it is or breaks any rules feel free to delete it!

Hi anon,

It is absolutely okay that you are here looking for support and validation because that’s exactly what we hope to offer, and I can appreciate wanting to be careful about your privacy - because everyone gets to decide for themselves what their boundaries are about the information they share with strangers.  And before diving into the history and trauma, I wanted to jump ahead to the last part of your ask as well to help assure: this wasn’t too long, nor broke any rules <3

Alright with all that being said, I want to validate each part of this ask:

I want to say that I’m so sorry for your symptoms, as someone with c-ptsd I can deeply empathize with these feelings of survival mode, because unfortunately our minds might be consciously aware of reality, but our body doesn’t trust this reality that implies safety.  The mind and body must be in alignment and how, and the process that takes, the coping skills you might need to develop to have that happen can vary for each one of us but let me link a few options: safety affirmations (written by fellow survivors and including printables), grounding techniques, breathing exercises (GIFS that you can follow along), as well as potentially looking into a therapist who might help develop a treatment plan for these flare ups, including but not limited to, compartmentalization techniques.  

Unfortunately because of your past trauma - and I agree between what you’ve shared, and what others have tried to assure you with as well - that you have experienced abuse and to me it makes sense why you would have these fears about experiencing emotions, much less speaking up, because sadly in your past the response to it was more abuse.  Again, this might be an issue to process in the safe spaces of a therapy room, so you can discern what coping skills you’d like to develop around it.

Finally, the last part, where you shared that you’ve developed a people pleasing survival skill and that’s how you’ve “ended up in a lot of unhealthy relationships” - I’d like to offer a counter I’ve stumbled on in my own healing journey: “it’s not that you’re attracting toxic people.  Toxic people aren’t picky, they go to everyone.  You letting them stay is the issue that needs to be worked on.”  Which is a far different narrative than the “you’re broken, which is why you’re attracting broken people.”  People abusing you says everything about them, and nothing about you.

And I hope as you continue on your healing journey, you will one day find your self worth again, and know, truly, deeply, to your core, that you never deserved such treatment in the first place.

- Mod Kat 

#trauma talks #mod kat #emotional abuse #tw emotional abuse #gaslighting #tw gaslighting #cptsd #c-ptsd #tw cptsd

[azuremist]

1, 2, 3, 9, 11, 12, 13, 15, 16, 17, 20, 21, 22, 23, 26, 30, and 31 :3?

1. What are your genders? Either labels/terms or descriptions :)

I’m a bigender boygirl ^.^!

2. Describe your pronouns. What are they, and why?

He is for the masculinity of it all, bun is because of my connection to bunnies, moon is for my connection to the moon, the night sky and being Macaque irl, fae is for my connection to faeries, magic and being Bede irl, and she is for the femininity of it all!

3. How long have you known you were multigender? Or, when did you discover each of your genders?

You know this. You were the one who cracked my egg. /lh But for real I think it was around 2020!

9. Do you "hoard" genders or labels?

Yes! I consider myself a bigender boygirl but I also have other genders that I consider descriptors of how my gender feels for me, like autigender and bungender!

11. Describe your ideal gender presentation, or physical form.

I wanna be perceived as a femme GNC boy, if not a femme who people cannot tell what gender they are.

12. Does your gender influence your sexual orientation?

Yus!! I like girls in a gay way and also boys in a gay way!

13. Does your sexual orientation influence your gender(s)?

Yes again! I’m bisexualgender

15. Describe your names and their significance to you.

Azure is my oldest name and the one that I have a deep connection with! It’s something I was going by online for privacy reasons, even before I realized I was multigender. I yoinked Bede from the Pokemon character, Hunter from the Owl House character and Macaque from the Monkie Kid character; all characters that are extremely important to me!!

16. What are your plans for medical, social, legal (etc) transition? How far along in your transition would you consider yourself to be?

I don���t know what I want to do as far as medical transition aside from going on hormones maybe. As for where I am now, I’d consider myself fully socially transitioned online, and, like, not at all socially transitioned irl. My mom only knows that I’m non-binary because I was outed to her. I’m not planning to socially transition anytime soon either. Down here in Texas, being openly trans just isn’t safe right now…

17. Have you faced any barriers in transitioning specifically related to your multigender identity or related goals?

I haven’t transitioned except for socially and specifically online, so not yet!

20. How do you deal with such transmultiphobia, external or internal? Do you use any comforts or affirmations to help?

It really helps to headcanon or created boygirl characters!!! Like a lot!

21. What are your favorite things about being multigender?

I love being connected to both masculinity and femininity and getting the best out of both sides of the spectrum!!!

22. What multigender-related pride flag do you like the most?

Am I biased? Yes. But I don’t care this bigender flag solos ALL your faves!!!!! (+ this boygirl bigender flag by catofthebaskervilles!)

23. What unique parts about your identity are you proud of?

I love being bigender bisexual!!! Gay both ways AND I can say I’m bi squared!!!

26. Do you have any friends who are multigender?

Yes! You, silly!! And a few people on Discord but I dunno if it’d be presumptuous to call us friends…

30. What do you wish more people knew about being multigender?

I wish more people knew about what we wanted in relation to our advocacy. Alas, we are seldom listened to.

31. Free space! Share anything you would like about your multigender experience.

I actually figured out that I was both WLW and MLM before I figured out my specific identity.

Send me a number and I’ll answer the question about being multigender!

#asks #verdantmeadows

[mayasdeluca]

Acting coach anon here: my 2 cents on straight actor playing LGBTQ+ characters and why we still don’t have bigger representation especially in higher budget projects.

-Acting is literally becoming someone else, so it’s part of their job to do so. Do I think queer people should have the same chance of straight actors, absofuckinglutely, but unfortunately isn’t like that, so that’s also why no many actors are out, at the end it’s rare that the best actors take the part especially in big budget projects, it’s the most popular that get casted, it’s not always about talent, but how much they sell, how much audience they bring in, how much online interaction they create, it’s a money industry after all…so money it’s the first goal, and that’s simply the truth.

-Coming out as an actor is still not a great career move, Hollywood pretend they are open about it, but they are not as much as it looks like.

-Many projects with queer stories and characters do not make the light of day because a lot of A/B list actors refuse to play LGBT+ roles, for a bunch or reasons: the backlash of audience especially the LGBTQ+ one and how abrasive they become toward them and the fact that they are not part of the community and so on.(obviously not all fans, but just look how much drama small shows as S19, The100, Dickinson and so on created and how people become nasty or obsessed towards some actresses, especially when they are not gay).

Yes it’s amazing how actresses discover their queerness by playing these characters, but it’s their own journey, and people should chill out and stay out of their personal life and avoid speculating and such, be respectful and happy they even share some of it, we queer people know how hard is to come to term with out identity, imagine and actor doing so publicly or on TV and social media, it’s fucking scary, and it could be dangerous for their career as well.

-A production company will not approve a big project without big name to carry it, its not a smart move….they won’t do it.

-Few out/trans actor/actress get big roles and mostly because their talent it’s unbelievable and undeniable and most got famous before coming out( Sarah Paulson, Jodie Foster, Elliot Page, Kristen Stewart, even less gay men actor)

-A lot of actresses that previously played gay characters, because of the online comments harassment and whatnot, refuse now to play more queer roles, and as I stated, one of the main reason it’s the backlash they received for not being really part of the community, I could name names but it’s pretty clear if you look online at the biggest iconic lesbian character in the last 5/10 years.

So what I’m saying: acting it’s THEIR job let them do it, it would be awesome if people got casted for their talent, queer or not, but unfortunately isn’t always like this.

I could write lots about it and there are some Tumblr accounts in here of ppl that work in the industry and they have a wider knowledge about the production part of the industry, my observations come from personal interaction with queer actresses and talking with my producer friends and some from reading from other queer industry blogger, so I do not want to say it’s always 100% like this but general audience and fans only know 5% of what’s going on behind a production.

My point is to always be respectful of other people life, job and personal journey.

Hi acting coach anon!

All very good points and I agree, it's their journey and their privacy when it comes to their personal life and we all have to be respectful of that. And you're right that a lot of the time it comes down to the most popular actor getting the role because they want that drawn in audience from the start. Money is always their first priority. And I'm sure it's not easy to come out in the industry which makes it even more important when actors are comfortable enough to do so and share with fans publicly and it shouldn't be scrutinized by the public.

As others have also mentioned and I agree with too, I think the focus should more be about the lgbtq+ rep in the writer's room and behind the scenes as opposed to the actors. All they can do is act, like you said, that's their job. So while I'm sure the people BTS face some of the same struggles as actors would with coming out or feeling comfortable to express their true identity, I feel like that representation is most important so that we get the best positive representation on screen as possible.

#asks #anon #acting coach anon

[breadcrimesprevention]

a little rant onto the tumblr

please ignore this if you don’t feel like reading a lot right now. i’m not sure who i’m instructing with this prologue. please don’t worry about it, i’m not at any serious risk of harming myself/others, and i feel mostly fine. i just need to write something down, and i’ll put more thought into it if i know there’s a possibility someone else sees it. content warnings in the tags (plus an extra two tags so an irl friend doesn’t see this).

i’m very much feeling like shit. i haven’t had anything to eat/drink besides two granola bars and a few coffees in two days. this is really unlike me; i weigh around 160 lbs and like to make sure i keep my weight there. i don’t feel hungry. i don’t know if i’ve lost weight; i’m afraid to look and confirm my suspicion. i would really like to cook but can’t bring myself to do it right now. i love cooking. for the past three years i have spent 12 hours preparing a pesach seder every year in a college apartment because nothing brings me closer to myself and to my friends and to G-d than cooking and sharing food. but i am so burnt out with nothing to do that i can not do it right now.

last summer i worked nine hour shifts in a bakery, took two classes, caught covid from my dad, and got into a terrible car accident (followed by a mild car accident in the replacement car). the summer before that, i worked nine hour days at a health insurance internship where, i shit you not, i was taught to price private health insurance and create rating systems for patients. the summer before that was the first 2020 wave of covid; i took two online classes and shared a room with my kid brother after a year of privacy at university. and somehow, this summer is the worst. i have no job, my friends are all leaving or left after graduating, and i am alone most days with nothing to do in a rotting college town.

i’m moving out of this town in 31 days (no wonder nobody would hire me here) for good. i start grad school two weeks later. i’m looking forward to it. i’m dreading it. i have no friends at <new university> and i really like that i’ll be able to start from scratch. this isn’t something i’ve been able to do before. i’ve lived in the same state my entire life. i’m sick of the comfort and i think that’s part of it too.

i think my worsened eating disorder is brought on by a few mechanical issues related to this weird “sitting duck” feeling i’m having. why buy something nice to cook when i’m so inconsistent with whether or not i use things i buy that i might not get to use them before i move? i’m not exactly in a fantastic financial place right now either, and i think my anxiety about moving-related costs is only making that feeling worse and preventing me from feeling ok with myself buying food. it’s so fucking difficult to unpack all of these feelings and really let myself lean into any one reason or conclusion. sometimes trying to understand why i’m doing this only makes the problem worse. i’m tired of feeling this way, and once i’ve published this post i’m going to try and eat something (i have leftover tteokbokki from a few nights ago in my fridge).

#tw disordered eating #tw #marvel #taylor swift

[queercodedwizard]

i just want to be a cute dark academia boy and a princess running through a castle and a non-binary witch living in the woods is that too much to ask

#i am struggling with my gender today folks #allow me to bare my soul to you for a minute please #i might change the pronouns in my bio #to she/he/they #cause i did the pronoun dressing room thing #i really liked it #but here’s the thing i have sapphic in my url #and i could change it but that’s a lot of work and i have commitment issues #also i don’t think y’all know but i go by my middle name on here because it’s much more generic #and if someone from my real life happens to find my blog they won’t recognize my name #BUT michelle is much more feminine than my first name #i think i’m cool with keeping my first name #but for privacy reasons i’m really not comfortable sharing it online #so i need like a nickname or something for y’all to call me #so yeah #late night tomfuckery

[televisionboy]

this gif is everything skdjdjfn and this is my first alphabet! so give me love and constructive criticism.

taglist: @punkgeekchic @visionsofsweettea @adoresobs @am4sawa @reblogsfandom @evarolines @somethingstuffy

Timothee Chalamet Fluff Alphabet

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Dates with Timothee are very very comforting and new at the same time. He LOVES getting out of the house and going to a city where shops are lining every corner and small cafes with coffee to die for. But he also loves to cook you dinner and rehash your days. He’s quite a domestic person.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

Timothee finds all of you attractive. But his favorite thing to do is whenever you’re reading a book or the two of you are watching TV, and you’re at one end of the couch and he’s at the other end, he loves to run his hands up and down your legs while they rest in his lap. Drumming his fingers against your knees is like a calming thing

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

He doesn’t talk, at all. He’s an incredibly patient boyfriend who will sit there with you and sync your breathing while hugging you. He will listen for hours and hours to you talk about it. And if not, he makes tea for you and offers cuddles and comfortable silences. I mean, either way he always makes tea.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

He would love a family with you, he knows you’d be an incredible parent to his children. But he’s content being young, having new experiences and getting to be spontaneous. If he had to think about it, he’d like one or two children and maybe a dog. Living in a cozy but spacious home, of course there’s a pool in the back.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

well, when he’s in the mood, jealous/mad he definitely will be dominant (and especially in bed) but he’s in no way so dominant that you will feel like his maid or a child. But he really doesn’t want to consider your relationship to be that way. Both of you are just you and treat each other equally. 

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

He gets cold when he’s fighting with you. Timothee’s a bit like a younger sibling while fighting, he knows how to push your buttons and won’t stop until he see’s a reaction. But he has that guilty feeling wash over him so fast. He’s very very easy to forgive you because how could he say no to someone like you??

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

SO GRATEFUL. He spoils like no other. If you point out that you like a pair of earrings, they’re yours (it doesn’t matter that they’re pure diamonds) you mentioned that you want to see Italy? Tickets booked. And a great thing about him, on top of being a good listener is that he has a great eye. And he picks up on things and is quick to notice them. Which is a big reason he’s so successful in acting. Even if it’s something as simple as washing the dishes so he can relax, to something as kind as making him your very own fan gift.. he melts every time.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

Mmm, he certainly tries not to but everyone keeps secrets. There are things that both of you prefer to keep private but he wouldn’t keep something like him kissing another woman a secret.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

You’ve inspired him and fueled him to become a stronger actor even if you’re not one yourself. Some of your advice is seriously helpful, and some are unhelpful but hilarious. No matter what you will tell him, he knows you’re waiting at home or even at his set with open arms, waiting for him to win an award and fangirl online to other Timmy fans. It makes him blush and cause a billion butterflies to erupt in his stomach.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

He trusts you 100% that you would never leave him, and he doesn’t want to be one of those boyfriends who restricts their partner. But there’s a part of him that’s incredibly insecure and is convinced you can do better. There are some parts that WANT you to leave him and do better. He would never ever show it in public, but you can read him well. You’ll put a hand on his bouncing knee and kiss his jaw.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like? 

He knows he’s a damn good kisser as well as charmer. You had been on a couple of dates with him, on one you mentioned that it was on your bucket list to be kissed in the rain. He made sure to schedule a date when there would be rain and he took you on a picnic. Towards the end, it had started to pour and you were trying to run back to the car but he grabbed your face and kissed you so hard but so passionately. His curls were dripping and the sandwiches were ruined but the feeling was incredible. 

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

Rightttt after that kiss, in the car you were drying off and laughing with him while the radio was on in the background. The car was on but he wasn’t driving. Instead, he turned to you and told you he was in love with you. Both of you had said “love you” but never “i’m in love with you”

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

He’s on the fence about babies but he knows for certain that he wants to marry you. You know that scene in The Office where Jim shows the engagement ring for Pam and is like “I got it 3 weeks into dating”? That’s Timmy. 

He brings you to a premire of one of his movies and at the end when all the credit’s are rolling, it says “y/n will you marry me?” and when you turn back around, Timmy is on one knee and Armie is most likely behind him crying his eyes out. 

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

“Babe” “Baby” “Mon cherie” When you two are married, he’ll join you in the kitchen while cooking dinner and call you “Mrs Chalamet” before kissing your shoulder and beginning to chop veggies. It’s just incredibly domestic 

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

so so so obvious and so in love. He shows you off as much as possible and talks about you on talk shows until he’s sure that the audience is annoyed and SNL mocks him (and even then, he’ll continue)

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

he brags but he does know when to dial it back for your own privacy and humility. BUT that doesn’t mean he won’t hold your hand in public, or banter with you on a twitter thread even if you both are right next to each other on the couch playing footsie

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

He has a great eye and is quick to pick up on things. It’s almost as if he has certain senses and can tell when you’re having a bad day or upset. He just knows. It’s incredible. He’ll run you a bath and order cake to indulge yourself in before you even get home.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

The most sickley, fluffy, romantic, boyfriend that it makes me sick. Timothee would dye his hair rainbow and cut of his toes if it meant you would smile. On a more romantic note, he pulls out all the stops but it’s a bit more subtle?? Like he is very romantic but it’s not overwhelming. There’s no string quartet and private dining room but there will be jazz and dancing at midnight or a homemade “restaurant” with Timothee as a one man (messy) staff but it’s the best thing you could have ever come home to

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

He’s your head cheerleader and the most selfless human ever. Will cheer for you until his voice goes mute and even then, he’s the one clapping the loudest and crying the most. 

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

both! Timothee is like a dog in some ways. He’s energetic and needs new things, to be outside, to be social. But he craves hugs and cuddling, he adores late night talks with you or watching you make him breakfast while he scrolls through Instagram. Like I said, a very domestic guy.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

He know’s you like the back of his hand and he could spot you with his eyes closed and only by feeling your face. He knows your habits, and the food you hate, your terrible cooking skills, and the kind of dad jokes you tell, the anxiety ticks, and what shows you’ll watch over and over again.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

He’d go insane without you. You’re addictive because you have a pure heart and a dirty mind and he falls in love the more you show that. He brings you back the weirdest things that remind him of you. Stationary cards with odd quotes, an antique necklace from the 40′s, peach earrings (because he enables your teasing)

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

He’s like the real version of “JOEY DOESN’T SHARE FOOD” but a little more loving lol “I love you, but I’m willing to defend my fries”

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

I said that he’s like a puppy! he needs kisses and scratches to his head (free scalp massage) and he’s a clingy puppy too. i mean, look at his eyes for the love of god. 

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

he aches so bad. He is your cheerleader but he can’t function without you. You’re his cup of coffee, an antidepressant. He’s fangirling inside for your new project but when he sees your mug or reaches to bring you close to his chest and you’re not there, he’s unable to fall asleep or make a cup of coffee.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

He’d travel to Mars and back if you asked him to. Just ask him, and he does it. One time, he was working on a movie with an actress who was quite snippy to you and he quit immediately, feeling incredibly guilty and nauseous. He got you very  expensive lox and bagels one morning because you were whining about it the previous night. He doesn’t want to close his eyes at night because there’s so many things he wants to do before he goes on to the next day. But when he closes his eyes at night, it’s all you, you, you, you, you and how much he’s overwhelmed with total adoration for you

#timothee chalamet imagine #timothee chalamet #timothee chalamet x you #timothee chalamet icons #timothee chalamet x reader #timothee chalamet smut #fluff #fluff alphabet #x reader #x you

[sk-lumen]

Hello dear enchantress Lumen,

I hope you are well and safe♥️ I just came here to seek for some advice from you and ladies out there if possible. I often get men complimenting me on my eyes and lips, more so my lips (I know damn well what they’re thinking about while they’re at it lol) but it’s become frustrating and to a point where I am objectified because of my looks.

I feel like I am a shell with a pearl inside- weird comparison I know but men just rather focus on what’s on the outside paying little attention to what may be inside. I like talking about mind stimulating stuff and the conversations get dragged to sexual stuff. While I am playful being sexually objectified is really a buzz killer 😞They start asking for naughty pictures and such. Every conversation I make online or in person with men has to always start with me addressing the fact that I do not send nude photos or videos.

I do understand that men naturally have a big appetite for sexual things. My question is dear Lumen; How do I deal with men like that? To have them to see more than and past my looks, but the beauty within? And also how can I keep the sexual thing playful yet not super nudity type? (Like for eg can I pose half nude or wear things to still keep his i terest but playful enough to leave the rest of my body to his imagination, hopefully enabling him to see me for my soul as well) Please tell me tips you would think be best in how to keep men going sexually but not getting things over done, how to handle situations like this, etc)

Your advice and tips are highly valued and appreciated by me. Thankyou in advance. ♥️♥️

Hi darling,

Note: you pose some very good questions which is why I thought it's important to share it with others. I will mention that advice requests, which are slightly more explicit in nature, should be redirected to my personal inbox where I can reply in-depth: either in private, or share on the blog to help others as well. I'm happy to help, however such topics are not the main focus of my tumblr blog, which I would like to keep as a more light and safe space, welcoming to all regardless of goals or sensibilities. I'm open to everyone else's thoughts on this suggestion.

After reading your story, let me address each topic one by one:

You may be looking for gentlemen in the wrong circles. There is a repeating pattern here, and it is either from navigating the same circles, or attracting the same type of guys, or simply being surrounded by the same type in your local area. For this, I would advise to experiment and try new places more associated with higher value men (theatre, art exhibitions, museums, upscale restaurants, etc).

This whole trend with provocative photos is simply a result of the p*rn culture combined with consumerism, which has normalized the access to/objectification of female bodies as a product so to speak. Yes, it is unquestionable that the female body is a work of art - but unfortunately today's society does not yet understand this. Ignore the trend of n*des. Do not for a second succumb to it unless you are in a 100% committed relationship, completely trust your partner, and feel very much safe to do so — and even then, thoroughly considered. Is it worth risking things like having those photos leaked, your privacy and trust broken, just for a nondescript guy’s validation? The smart answer is simple: never.

Generally speaking, women have an equally big appetite. It’s simply about how both genders (or any gender) are socialized in expressing it. LVM learn that they can express it any way they wish, HVM act as gentlemen, as they should; whereas women oscillate between the double-edged blade of being too little or too much, either way facing risking judgement over it.

How to deal with low value men (because no man of class would ask for licentious photos, and I stand by that statement)? Block, delete, move on. If you are determined to embark on a journey of leveling up, you cannot waste time with such behaviour, dear ladies. There’s zero benefit, zero return of investment from engaging with men that have not yet reached the baseline of respecting you as an individual. There's no two ways about this, and there’s nothing to negotiate there.

You can’t make a man see, do or say anything. He either sees your value or he doesn’t. If you have to bring arguments to the table, the game is already rigged and you have lost, because the moment you question your worth is when they have already won. The only thing you should do then is find another table.

"Can I (…) to keep his interest" - Please don’t entertain this line of thought darling, it serves no one but LVM. You don’t have to do anything to keep someone’s interest, except be yourself. If you have to go above and beyond, bend over backwards, be someone you’re not, or step out of your comfort zone/boundaries at any point, it’s time to walk away. Besides, a man's interest is not a warranty for commitment or love.

Don’t rely on the mindset of luring in a guy with desire, to capture his heart. It should be the other way around, or simultaneous. But if he desires solely your body before even considering your mind, heart or soul… his priorities are clear, and they’re not likely to change.

My universal strategy for dating/relationships, which is in the best interest of your sacred feminine energy, the safeguarding of your heart, and the wise use of your time, is this:

Have clear standards, know what kind of man you’re interested in, take your time dating accordingly. When you find a good one, let him court you until he’s proven himself as a worthwhile companion that you can trust with all of you. Once commitment is made clear (and I mean clear, open commitment stated out loud, no juvenile "what are we" allusions), wait at least 3-6 months to further strengthen the relationship’s foundation of intimacy, and only then open completely.

It may sound complicated or long-winded, but it is a smart strategy for countless reasons: only a HVM will be patient, consistent and dedicated enough to stay for the long run all throughout. LVM will either bail, protest, test your boundaries, or other red flags which will reveal themselves on their own and spare you the trouble.

Hope this helps. Take care. ❤️

-Lumen

#glow up #dating advice #relationship advice #(note: should i tag such posts? with warnings or anything just in case?) #(i'm very mindful of any sensibilities) #ask

[ablednt]

Actually helpful advice for the kids on this hellsite

Once again tired of "don't make a carrd or tell people your triggers" posts going around literally telling kids it's Dangerous to set boundaries. So here's what I've learned in my teen years on how to stay safe in the hellscape that's the internet.

Identity

You don't have to link all your social media together but you can if you want to. Don't give out something that is more private (like discord account, Skype or zoom account, facebook, Snapchat etc.) publicly or to people who aren't familiar with yet though.

Use a nickname rather than your real name or birth name, an account and name change may unfortunately be necessary so if you want to keep a name safe or use it irl then don't attach it to public social media. This can be fun though! Go apeshit coming up with different aliases and names! Call yourself lizard if you want to!

The only thing you absolutely need to put somewhere on your account (or carrd) is that you're a minor. You don't have to give the exact age but I promise this is important because even if there's plenty of context clues that you're a minor if you don't indicate this somewhere clear and adults start treating you like shit you need to be able to point out that they're knowingly doing this to a minor. That has saved me from gross bullshit a lot. Yes, people should default to treating people who's ages they don't know as a minor to play it safe but the majority of people assume everyone is the same age as them so you need to make it clear you're not an adult.

Pronouns don't make you identifiable and anyone who acts like putting your pronouns in your bio is unsafe is probably transphobic lmao. You don't have to if you don't want to (and don't mind people not using/knowing your pronouns) but it's safe to put them there most of the time. (The only exception I can think of is if you're closeted and your parents may find your account but in that case you should probably stay closeted online to unless you feel safe/know they aren't likely to find your account.)

You don't have to list every privilege you have and you probably shouldn't but if you're white you probably should indicate this somewhere. This is to hold yourself accountable because yes even teenagers can be racist and underaged people of color also deserve to feel safe. If you're nonwhite and don't feel safe doing so you don't have to list your race or ethnicity.

If you're part of a system/plural or questioning you do NOT have to say your systems origins, if you have DID/OSDD, or list your headmates/alters. The system community has a lot of people in it (and singlets adjacent to parts of the community due to bullshit discourse groups welcoming them) who will target underaged systems to fakeclaim them or harass them etc. I suggest having everyone use aliases/nicknames on a system account and you only tell your origin to people you feel comfortable around and safe with. Your safety and privacy is more important than your trendy system carrd goals I promise!

You shouldn't really just list any disorders you have but it really does no harm to put marginalized identities you're proud of on a carrd or in your bio. You might get a shitty anon or two but I promise people aren't going to dox you if you say you're autistic on your carrd or something.

I personally wouldn't list any special interests that are particularly recognizable (popular media should be ok but more niche stuff may not be) or publicly share a kin list just because you never know if you'll want to switch up your identity online to feel safe and the more things are clearly tied to your current nickname and handle the harder it will be to do this. However if you feel safe doing so it's not the end of the world. Just be careful about it and don't feel pressured to give more info than you're comfortable giving.

You do NOT need to tell people your trauma in order to tell them your triggers. If you need something tagged with a tw you really should indicate this somewhere so people know to tag it (unless you intend to send every you're mutuals with an anon with what to tag which is also an option but may be difficult) but you shouldn't tell them your trauma or medical history to justify it. Your boundaries aren't up for debate and you have nothing to prove. You should only talk about your trauma if you feel safe doing so (and even then please don't give identifiable details like.names of people involved or specifics as that can cause serious problems.)

Boundaries & etiquette

DNIs are good! BYFs are good! Anyone who tells you that they're not good or useful is absolutely trying to disrespect your and other people's boundaries. You can and should make a DNI and list the people you don't want to interact with. (Generally it's better to say groups rather than specific people or names because it's easier to again not be recognized if you need to change accounts/aliases but you can do this if you have strong reasoning and absolutely have to to feel safe.)

DNIs (and also.trigger lists) don't have to all be bad things! You can put fandoms that make you uncomfortable, things that trigger you but aren't bad inherently, etc. on these lists. They're about helping you feel safe not having the hottest takes or being the most morally correct.

Some people you should put in your DNIs as a minor are proshippers/anti-antis and MAPs. Both of these groups have been proven time and time again to groom minors online so the earlier you get away from them the better.

Once you have your DNI please do be aggressive in reinforcing it! Block people who break your DNI, tell people who complain about your DNI to fuck off! Do not tolerate people trying to debate the boundaries You have set this is your corner of the internet to feel safe! They can go somewhere else! Being blocked by a kid on the internet is not the emotional blow abusers act like it is. You're not mean for having boundaries please internalize this and stand up for yourself!

If other people have a DNI you need to check that before following them this is for both your own safety and theirs. If you're unsure what something on someone's DNI means ask around to find out before following just in case.

Do NOT get involved in discourse! This doesn't mean you can't ever take part in or boost serious things. Discussing/calling out bigotry (racism, ableism, transphobia, etc.) isn't discourse. Sometimes callout posts for legitimately harmful people is necessary so that's not automatically bad. But I'm taking about the shit that's #discourse. Stay out of ace discourse. Stay away from syscourse. Don't debate with terfs or transmeds or shitty people. I know it seems like it'd be cathartic to win debates with shitty people, I know there's people who will try to bait you into the latest argument over which lgbt+ identities can say what slurs or whatever the fuck the pointless bad faith argument is, and I know you want to prove that your marginalized identity doesn't make you a bad person like bigots say it does. But as someone who's mental health was absolutely destroyed by discourse as a teen it's not worth it. By all means discuss issues as they arise, broaden your perspectives and horizons, etc. but don't engage knowingly in discourse it will save you so much trouble in the long run.

Try to avoid talking to adults 1x1 if you can avoid it! It's okay to dm with an adult you feel safe talking to sometimes and while it's certainly okay not to interact with adults at all if you don't feel.comfortable it's generally okay to do so. But if an adult is going out of their way to consistently talk to you in private needlessly that can be a red flag. If an adult tries to insinuate that they're the only adult around you can trust that's DEFINITELY a red flag. Basically talk to people in places you can easily involve others if needs be. If someone sends you a dm that makes you uncomfortable screenshot it in case you need to show someone etc.

Don't discuss NSFW things with adults, in spaces adults have easy access to (for example a discord server open to all ages), or even with other underaged people who haven't indicated they're comfortable with it. There's nothing inherently wrong with being aware of nsfw stuff or experiencing sexual attraction as a teenager but it's very important that you don't put yourself in situations that may be unsafe for you or others. Most good discord servers have rules against this for this exact reason. Now, to make it abundantly clear, if you did or do ever say something nsfw and an adult takes advantage of this or responds in a way that makes you uncomfortable this is NOT your fault! The responsibility falls on adults to act appropriately but it's still a good idea to keep youeself out of harms way.

That's basically it on a general level. Once again, posts telling you not to make DNIs or carrds or trigger lists (all used to set clear boundaries) are very suspect and either grossly misunderstand how these things work or are intentionally demonizing them in order to have more opportunity it excuse to do harm. Setting clear boundaries is good. Doing things that help you feel safe and respected is good. Just don't go and get involved in discourse or give out personal information or anything.

#online safety #internet safety #DNIs #carrd #actuallyautistic #actuallyplural #long post #grooming tw #ask to tag

[writerofthecourt]

ushijima, sakusa, iwaizumi, and shirabu being protective of their mute!girlfriend

warning: some bullying and harassment, very slight time skip spoilers, slight mention of injury and blood

a/n: for you, anon! i hope you guys enjoy

EDIT: this is a reupload because tumblr kept deleting me from the tags

ushijima wakatoshi

honestly, you guys were a weird couple

ushijima’s a man of few words, while you’re a person of no words

tendou was 100% convinced that you guys had some weird couples’ telepathy going on

(no one tell him that it’s just text messages and a pen and paper)

for the most part, everybody at shiratorizawa was cool with your relationship

everyone except for ushijima’s fangirls

“i don’t know what he sees in her. she’s not even that pretty”

“maybe he likes charity cases”

you ignored the two girls as they followed after you, your indifferent attitude only further fuelling their anger

“oi, [l/n]. don’t ignore us. you really think you’re too good for us just because you’re dating ushijima-kun?”

“he’s probably just taking pity on you since no one else would want your mute self”

their insults didn’t stop, not even as you approached the gym

“why does ushijima-kun even bother with you?”

“yeah, he would be so much better off without you”

it was at this time that ushijima had just returned from refilling his water bottle and happened to overhear the conversation

“i’d have to disagree with you,” your boyfriend proclaimed

“u-ushijima-kun, where did you come from?” one of the girls stuttered

“[y/n] is a wonderful person, and i’m lucky to have her,” ushijima continued unwaveringly. “i don’t agree with your comments. apologize to [y/n] at once”

at this point, the two girls knew that there was no winning in this situation

they exchanged a nervous glance with one another before hastily throwing out an apology. “s-sorry, [l/n]”

you tried not to smirk as the two girls quickly walked away, embarrassed that their idol had seen them in such a bad light

you sent your boyfriend an appreciative smile before he happily took a hold of your hand and led you towards the gym

in conclusion: no words were needed when the two of you were together

sakusa kiyoomi

when news broke out that you and sakusa were dating, sakusa was livid

not only was it an invasion of privacy, but the fact that it was atsumu’s fault made sakusa even more mad

the idiot forgot to crop you and sakusa out of the background of his stupid selfie

#sakusaandmysterywoman started trending online before sakusa had to eventually tell everyone the truth

“[y/n]’s my girlfriend. leave us alone,” was all sakusa tweeted before social media caught on fire and exploded

like with any celebrity dating scandal, there was some backlash from the fans, especially from the crazy ones who accused you of stealing away their precious omi-kun

eventually, everything settled down, and the fans became a lot more supportive of you and sakusa’s relationship

this led sakusa to being more comfortable about sharing pieces of his relationship with you online

although he was clearly happy, this didn’t stop his overzealous fans from constantly insulting you

“why does [y/n] never say anything when omi-omi gives her a compliment?”

“ngl [y/n] seems kind of rude. i feel like sakusa deserves better”

“omi-kun should be with someone who’s actually worthy of him. [y/n] ain’t it chief”

the only reason why sakusa didn’t respond to any of these people was because you told him not to, and he wanted to respect your wishes

it wasn’t until an especially concerning tweet about a fan “paying you a visit” that sakusa finally had to put a stop to all of this nonsense

“to anyone insulting or even going as far as to threaten my girlfriend, just stop. if you can’t support my decision, then i don’t need you. you are not a ‘true’ fan. i love [y/n], and i’m happy with her. to all of you who have been supportive of my relationship with [y/n], thank you. i don’t say this enough, but i truly appreciate you guys”

after sakusa’s tweet, #omi[y/n] started trending in support of you and sakusa’s relationship, which finally put a stop to all of the online hate

in conclusion: blame atsumu

iwaizumi hajime

when iwaizumi asked if you wanted to go see a movie with him on the weekend, you were over the moon

you knew just how busy your boyfriend was with volleyball practice, so you weren’t too pushy when it came to dates

you made sure to put a little extra effort into your outfit and appearance that day because you wanted to look cute for you boyfriend

unfortunately, this also caught the eyes of guys other than iwaizumi

“hey, cutie. you by yourself?” a flirtatious male close to your age asked. “i wouldn’t mind keeping you company”

you tried not to blanch as you took a step back and shook your head, indicating that you weren’t interested

this did nothing to dissuade the flirtatious guy, as he offered you a charming smile. “you can pick the movie if you want to. come on, it’ll be fun”

you were about to walk away when an all too familiar arm securely placed itself around your shoulder in a protective hold

“leave her alone. she’s not interested,” your boyfriend scowled

“says who?”

“says me. got a problem?”

“w-whatever, man. you can have her”

as the flirtatious guy began to walk away, the harsh glare on iwaizumi’s face soon transformed into worry as he turned to look at you. “sorry i’m late. are you okay? you’re not hurt, right?”

you nodded your head in reassurance while offering iwaizumi a gracious smile

your boyfriend smiled back before placing a gentle kiss just below your eye

“i’ll always be there to protect you, okay?” iwaizumi reminded you

you nodded your head once again, never doubting him for a moment

in conclusion: don’t mess with the seijoh arm wrestling champion

shirabu kenjirou

for the most part, you liked being the manager of the boys’ volleyball team

the shiratorizawa players were always chaotic and funny, and you were proud to call yourself a part of the team

although, if there was one thing to complain about, it would definitely have to be some of their fans

you were in the middle of bandaging shirabu’s injured finger when a chorus of high-pitched cheers rang out from near the gym doors

“[l/n], go deal with that,” coach washijo grumbled in annoyance

you sent your boyfriend an apologetic smile before signing to him to continue applying pressure in order to stop the bleeding

grabbing your pen and notebook, you wrote down a quick message before walking over to where the three girls were standing

please keep your voices down, your note read

“we’re just cheering on the players," one of the girls said

"yeah, what’s wrong with that?” another girl remarked

you’re distracting the players from practice

“well, must be easy for you since you can’t even seem to speak at all,” the last girl replied mockingly, followed by the laughter of her two friends

shirabu, who had been listening to the conversation, immediately got up from the bench to go stand next to you

“you three have been nothing but nuisances this whole time, and everyone agrees with me,” shirabu snapped furiously. “if you can’t be quiet, then leave!”

after shirabu’s angry outburst, the three girls promptly quieted down

you’re too nice, your boyfriend signed after the two of you returned to the bench

well, you know what they say. opposites attract and all that

oh, shut up

you only smiled in response as you finished bandaging shirabu’s finger before pressing a light kiss to the back of his hand

“stop mocking me with your cute couple-y-ness!” tendou screeched from across the court, having just witnessed your adorable exchange

“tendou! five laps around the school!”

in conclusion: stop yelling in the gym!

#ushijima x reader #ushijima wakatoshi x reader #sakusa x reader #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi hajime x reader #shirabu x reader #shirabu kenjirou x reader #ushijima wakatoshi #sakusa kiyoomi #iwaizumi hajime #shirabu kenjirou #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu reader insert

[cryptidfumikage]

tokoyami comfort headcanons (1/?)

having a rough time atm, thought i would share some personal hcs for my comfort character ✨

gender neutral (y/n); all sfw hcs; he/they pronouns for dark shadow (note: i'm not used to using these in full sentences and paragraphs, so if you have any recommendations for using he/they pronouns more naturally, i will gladly take advice!) if you have any requests just let me know and i'll get to them as soon as i can

TW: brief food mentions

if you and tokoyami are friends, he will pick up on your emotions pretty easily. even if you’re not as vocal about what’s going on, he will sense a change in your body language, the way you talk, etc. he may not pry but dark shadow has no shame and will (politely) ask if everything’s okay. they will both give you time and space but if you’re open to talking about it, they’ll be there and will be super supportive.

if you’re in a relationship with each other, there’s definitely no fooling him 💀 he will be a little more direct and might actually sit you down and properly ask what’s wrong. he will still respect ur privacy but if something really bad is going on, he will pick up on it and be very protective of you. he doesn’t want to smother you but he worries… since dark shadow is a manifestation of some of his deeper rooted emotions, they might reach out more than tokoyami will. both of them will be there to support you, though.

“fumikage, something’s going on with (y/n)…”

*sigh* “i know, dark shadow… but there’s not much i can do. i’m here if they need someone to talk to, but i respect their privacy too much to pry.”

*taking tokoyami’s phone* “uh huh….”

“w- dark shadow what are you doing?”

“i’m texting (y/n) to see if they wanna come over and watch (your comfort movie/show) together!”

“that’s not… please don’t bother them. they might need their space-”

“they said yes and they’re coming over in an hour. let’s go to the store and buy (your favorite food/snack/drink), it’s their favorite!”

“…” *grabs wallet and keys* “alright then, let’s go.”

yeah whether you’re in a romantic relationship or not, they both know you like the back of their hand.

if you’re comfortable with it, tokoyami would love to cuddle! he may be a little awkward at first but i think deep down, he is sort of touch starved 😭 his hands are strong and cool, and they will hold you just tightly enough to make you feel secure

dark shadow may come out to cuddle you too! they will feel like a cool breeze (like casper the friendly ghost! if anybody remembers that movie lmao). during the summertime it’s really nice, but in the winter/colder seasons it could help to have a couple blankets. they're basically like a cat and will cuddle in between you and tokoyami. sometimes he might hog you, and tokoyami can’t help but get a little jealous. they both just wanna spoil you.

they also both HATE when you cry. dark shadow will coo and whisper sweet nothings to soothe you. tokoyami will hold you until you stop crying, and even then letting you go will take him a while. don’t be surprised if one of you falls asleep after a while.

if it’s you, he will stroke you gently with the pad of his thumb and might even hum to you. the sound of his voice is deep and rumbly and just 🥺🤧

if HE falls asleep, his grip on you might tighten subconsciously. if it gets too tight, don’t be afraid to wake him up!! he wouldn’t want you to be uncomfortable. he doesn't mind readjusting so that you're comfy.

when you’re ready to talk about what’s bothering you, tokoyami will listen intently. dark shadow might make comments in between, but will try not to be rude - they just get defensive over you. if you ask for advice, tokoyami is rational and will try to be as comforting but realistic as possible. he doesn’t mind just listening to you vent, though. in fact, he appreciates that you trust him so much! he lets you know it, too.

“i admire your ability to vocalize all this. you know how difficult it is for me to express my emotions, so i deeply admire your ability to express your own… i especially appreciate you expressing them to me.”

“ahem!”

“i mean us, of course.”

more fun stuff! tokoyami loves to play cards and other table top games, a couple of his favorites are chess and mancala. he might recommend playing for a bit to take your mind off things! he might kick ur ass because he’s gotten really good playing with dark shadow, but don’t think he won’t let you win a round or two. if you happen to be as good as him or better, he’ll be so excited!! loves a good challenge, and really loves you, so you challenging him makes him really happy. tokoyami also doesn’t mind teaching you a thing or two, he’s extremely patient and is grateful you’re willing to learn from him.

what’s your favorite movie? get ready for dark shadow to quote it with you randomly. your favorite series? tokoyami will buy you merch whenever he finds it online or while out shopping. they both love to have marathons with you where you all get cozy, grab some snacks, and just chill.

tokoyami is a bit old-fashioned and will occasionally buy you flowers/chocolates, but if you’re feeling low he will go all out. do you have a favorite food? he will stay up learning how to cook it with the perfect recipe to the way you like it. dark shadow will hand you tokoyami’s phone with a shopping app opened and basically tell you to go nuts and buy whatever you want. tokoyami might give you a reasonable budget, but not without dark shadow protesting. they both want to spoil you, but dark shadow wants to spoil you a little too much sometimes.

depending on how close you are, tokoyami might share a song he wrote for you on his guitar…. he’ll say it’s the first one but he’s written over a dozen songs for you that he’s been too nervous to share. baby steps, okay? as an artist, he’s a bit fragile 🥲 he will also sing your favorite song to you, and if you’re willing he would LOVE for you to sing with him!!! he thinks your voice is beautiful.

#bnha #bnha hcs #mha tokoyami #tokoyami hcs #tokoyami x y/n