#but hope you guys like it I'm very proud of it despite all the issues haha

[hayden-christensen]

This story happened a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

HAPPY STAR WARS DAY The Force will be with you. Always. 

#swedit #starwarsedit #star wars #starwarsblr #star wars day #may the 4th #may the fourth #may the force be with you #may the fourth be with you #*mine #*2023 #*gifs #[layout] #IT'S FINALLY DONE ASDLKFASHJ this is my most complex edit ever and I am never doing another one like it ever again lmao #but hope you guys like it I'm very proud of it despite all the issues haha #2k

[swimmingismywholelife]

Noel (No Faith)

Summary: You wanted more from John and he couldn't care less. So why then was he at your door on Christmas Eve?

Warnings: fwb-to-lovers!John, angst, SMUT, arguments, soft domJohn, unprotected sex (don't be silly, wrap your willy!), creampie, fingering, pussy licking, playing with nipples, missionary, honestly it's all very soft sex, HAPPY ENDING

WC: 3.8K

A/N: 🎶On the second day of Ficmas my writer gave to me, some angst and smut with dear old Johnny🎶 Hi my name is Janelle and I'm ashamed to say I love John Stones 🫣. The song that inspired this fic is "Noel (No Faith)" by 7 Minutes in Heaven! This is one of, if not, my favorite Christmas song bc it's just so good and I really think you should give it a listen. And this is I think my longest fic to date so I hope you all enjoy!

Link to the Song: Noel (No Faith)

"Noel, Noel, I wish that you would come home for Christmas (for Christmas)

Don't make me wait another year

Noel, Noel, I can't be left alone

You can unwrap the truth, my dear

You're all I want for Christmas this year."

~~~

You sighed with content as you finished putting up the last of the lights on the Christmas tree. You took a step back and smiled, proud of your work. You'd spent the weekend decorating your house, trying to cope with the homesickness of your first Christmas in Manchester away from your family. The star was centered perfectly on the top of the tree, stockings hung on your fireplace (mostly for decoration), and even though it was already Christmas Eve, you were happy to see everything come together. Now you truly felt ready for Christmas.

Well, almost.

Christmas was usually your favorite time of year. But this would be the first year you would be spending it alone. And the first year spending it along with a broken heart. You still replayed the scene in your head every night since it happened. Since the night John Stones left your heart in pieces.

"I don't know why you're mad," John scoffed, rolling out of your bed. "We had an agreement."

"I mean, yeah we did," you said quietly, sitting up.

"So then what's the problem?" he asked, beginning to redress himself.

"The problem, John, is that you treat me more than this agreement was originally supposed to be!" you said exasperated. "You act jealous when I'm around other guys, you basically live with me at this point, you call me even if nothing special is going on just because you wanna hear my voice. What am I supposed to think about that?"

John pinched the bridge of his nose huffing. "Listen, things were outlined pretty clearly when we first started this. You didn't seem to have an issue then, nor last night when you were screaming my name."

"You're full of shit, John, you know that?" you said as tears began forming in the corners of your eyes. "Things can change and feelings can change. And I'm sorry I fell in love with you. I didn't intend to! It just happened and I'm being honest. You've known how I felt and you did nothing but treat me like you wanted it to!"

John sharply turned to face you. "I've been clear from the beginning that I wasn't looking to commit. I wanted some fun and that's what we got and that's all it's gonna be."

"So all of our little outings alone? All of the nights where we poured our hearts out to each other? Inviting me to all your games so I could proudly wear you jersey? That all meant nothing you to you?" you asked.

"Look, if you wanna stop just say so and be done with it," he said.

A tear fell from your eyes.

"I guess that's it then," you said quietly.

Despite the fact that this happened months ago, you couldn't find it in you to move on. John made you feel so special, so different. You knew what the boundaries were when you agreed to be friends with benefits, but you couldn't help but fall in love with him. Every day that went by, you only missed John more.

Still, John didn't have to be such a dick about the whole thing. He was the one you led you on and left that night, not once looking back. It wasn't like you ended with solely unrequited love and he let you down gently. He made you feel like shit for catching feelings, like you didn't matter to him. You felt used and it felt disgusting.

So why did you find yourself missing him more than ever? Why were you holding out hope for him? Why were you still keeping your faith in him when he had no faith in you?

"Please come home," you whispered, looking at the star on top of your tree illuminating the room. You knew your wish was futile, but maybe this year would be your year for a Christmas miracle.

As you turned back upstairs, a knocking on the door stopped you in your tracks. You cocked your head in confusion. It was Christmas Eve and everyone you knew was spending Christmas with their families. You weren't expecting anyone to come visit. You were even more confused when you opened the door to find the very man you'd been wanting to see.

"John?" you said puzzled.

"I know it's Christmas Eve and we haven't spoken in weeks, but I just really needed to talk to you. Is that okay?" he asked, the words rapidly leaving his mouth as his body shook from the cold.

"I-" You hesitated. "I'm not really sure if that's a good idea."

"Please? I just need you to know and if after that you never wanna see me again, then I'll leave you alone," he replied desperately.

Letting the spirit of Christmas overpower your overwhelming urge to kick him in the face and leave him in the cold, you opened your door wider to let him in. John quickly stepped into the warmth of your home, rubbing his hands together.

"Let me start up the kettle for some tea. You wait on the couch and I'll grab you a blanket too," you said, gesturing to the living room he was more than familiar with.

"Thank you, Y/N," he said gratefully.

You took a deep breath as you made your way into the kitchen. "Dude, I know I said I wanted a Christmas miracle, but I wasn't emotionally prepared for this," you muttered to yourself as you filled the kettle with water. Once the stove was on, you grabbed a blanket from your closet for the man sitting in your living room.

"Here," you said, handing it to him.

"You remembered," he said quietly. You almost asked what he was talking about when you saw the familiar checkered pattern on the blanket. You grabbed the first one you saw, not realizing you'd instinctually grabbed John's favorite blanket.

"Truthfully, that was an accident," you said, trying to lighten up the mood. It didn't really work as the air grew awkward and thick, neither of you really knowing what to say.

"Um, I'll be right back and get your tea," you said awkwardly, quickly getting up.

You took your time, trying to mentally prepare yourself for the conversation. Why was he here? What did he want? Why Christmas Eve? So many questions rolled into your mind as you made his tea just the way he liked.

You came back and handed him the mug, John muttering a thanks before sipping on the tea.

"John, why are you here?" you asked exasperated, finally breaking the silence.

"I…" John sighed. "I wanted to talk."

You crossed your arms. "Well, you're here now. So talk."

He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the tops of his thighs, setting the mug on the table. "I know that I fucked up, really fucked up. And I left you hanging after leading you on for so long." He turned to look at you. "And I just wanted to say I'm sorry for ever treating you so horribly. You've never deserved it and you were right, you can't help how you feel about someone."

"Thank you," you said.

"I thought I'd be fine after walking out that day," he continued. "To me, it really was just a thing that we did and nothing more. But days turned into weeks turned into months and something was wrong. It didn't matter who I tried to get with. I just couldn't do it. Every single girl just reminded me of you. At first, I didn't really I was comparing everyone to you until one day when it hit me. And I haven't been able to stop thinking about you and how you make me feel."

"And how do I make you feel, John?" you asked, curling your legs underneath you.

"Alive. You give me that drive and passion to do what I love, to be a better man. I miss the way you pretended to be asleep just so I would kiss you awake. I miss the way you play with my hair after a long day at practice or a late night game. I miss the way you felt in my arms. I miss the way your eyes light up at the sight of the stupid festive cups at coffee shops. I miss how I didn't have to fear who I was or who I wanted to be because you always brought out the best in me. God, I just miss you so much and I can't believe how stupid I was for not seeing it until you were long gone," he said on the verge of tears.

Neither of you said anything for a while after his confession. The tension only grew thicker as John anticipated your reaction, mentally preparing himself for the worst.

"You still hurt me, John," you replied after a while. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about what you did that day. How you left me feeling used and stupid and dumb. I thought you and I were on the same page and I couldn't have been further from the truth."

John gently took both of your hands in his. You allowed him to gently lace his fingers through yours, shivers running down your spine as he thumbs stroked your hand.

"I know," he said. "I know, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I took you for granted. I'm sorry I didn't appreciate you while I had you. But if you give me a chance, I swear to you I'll make it up to you and show you how much you mean to me."

"John…." you trailed off. "I don’t know. I don't know how I can trust you again after what you did."

He tightened his grip on your hand. "You don't have to give me an answer today. You don't even have to give me an answer for the rest of the year. I'll wait as long as you need. Even if you decide no, I'll still be waiting here for you."

"Johnny, I don't want you to be waiting for me," you said softly. "That wouldn't be fair on you."

He shook his head. "No, Y/N, I'm the one who hasn't been fair to you at all. Waiting is the least I can do for you."

A silence fell, the two of you lost in your own thoughts. John was wondering if he'd been too late to fix things, if his chance was gone. Meanwhile, you were thinking if he even deserved another chance. It had taken you months to even fathom getting over him. Was this a test to see if you truly belonged together? Or was this a red flag that was being blatantly waved in front of you?

All the while, you never thought to release your hand from John's. It felt right for your hand to be there. While your head was in turmoil, it was also the calmest it had been since the day he left.

"Why did you come here tonight?" you asked, breaking the silence. "Why tonight specifically? Why didn't you come earlier or later in the year?"

"Because I know how much Christmas means to you," he replied. "I knew I was risking ruining your holiday, but I wanted to show you that I'm serious about this, more serious than anything I've ever done in my life."

"Will you stay?" you asked him with hopeful eyes, still being unsure of your feelings but not quite wanting him to leave.

"Baby, I'll stay as long as you want me here," John said, looking into your eyes. His hands moved from yours to cup your cheeks. "Would you like me to stay?"

You nodded. "You can stay in the guest room for the night so we can have some space. I'll grab you more blankets."

Too quickly for your liking, you pulled away, his hands lingering on your face just a little bit longer. While you wanted him next to you, it probably wasn't the best idea all things considered. You grabbed some spare blankets, alongside some spare clothes of his you couldn't bare to part with, handing them to him.

"I'm really surprised you still have these," John said.

You shrugged. "I still have everything you gave me quite frankly."

John's heart stopped for a moment. Maybe there was still a chance for you to have faith in him again.

"If you need me, just knock on my door, okay?" you said, leaning against the doorframe.

"I will. Good night, Y/N," he answered.

"Good night, John," you said softly.

You quickly got ready for bed, turning the light off in your room. You made yourself comfortable underneath the warmth of the blankets, but you still felt cold. How could you sleep properly knowing John was next door? Knowing that he wanted you back? You tossed and turned for a few hours, but you knew you wouldn't be getting any sleep that night, especially because you just wanted to be in the comfort of his arms.

You got out of bed to get some water, wanting to walk a bit to clear your head. You opened your door to come face to face with John, whose hand was raised indicating that he was about to knock on your door. You nearly screamed before you realized who he was.

"Jesus Christ, John! You scared the shit out of me," you said panting, putting your hand on your chest.

"Sorry," he apologized. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"That's okay, I only just lost a few years off my life," you joked. "But is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I just couldn't really sleep," he answered, "and honestly I just really wanted to see you."

The two of you stared at each other for a moment, not really knowing what to say. You got lost in his eyes, that feeling you've always had with him returning.

Acting purely on instinct, both of you reached for each other, lips smashing desperately against each other. You felt like you could breathe again despite how hard the two of you were kissing. It just felt right that he was there with you. It felt right how his body was perfectly molded to yours.

John closed to door behind you, gently pushing you against it. His kisses were passionate yet still soft and gently, almost like he was afraid to hurt you. His hands were firmly around your waist as yours were around his neck, your fingers running through his hair.

"Jump," he whispered against you.

You obliged, wrapping your legs around him. He walked you to your bed, gently placing you on it as he climbed on top, your lips not parting once. He pulled away only to remove both of your shirts before returning to kiss you. His hands moved to your tits, gently squeezing them. You let out a breathy moan of his name.

"I missed his so much," he said just as breathlessly. "I missed your pretty little moans, baby." He squeezed a little harder, making your moans grow louder. "That's it, Let me hear you, Y/N."

His kisses started trailing down your jaw to your neck, his teeth nipping the skin. Little red marks were left in his wake until his mouth hovered over your nipple. He gently blew on it before taking it into his mouth, making a loud moan leave your body.

"You like that, baby?" John asked.

"Yes, John," you answered, your body squirming underneath him. "I love it so much."

John switched sides, your hands guiding his head there. He sucked harder, causing your hips to roll against his, groaning when your clothed cunt made contact with the bulge under his pants. His lips trailed down once again until he hit the band of the sweatpants you were wearing, noting that technically, they were his.

"Can I take this off, Y/N?" he asked, looking up at you.

You nodded your head frantically. "Yes, please take them off, please."

His hands grabbed the band and pulled down, moaning when he realized you weren't wearing any underwear.

"No underwear, baby? Are you trying to kill me?" he growled.

"It's comfortable, okay?" you squeaked out. "You know I've always preferred it that way."

John licked his lips as he laid his eyes on your pussy, the folds glistening with your wetness.

"Can I-" he started, but you cut him off.

"Yes, yes please!" you said desperately. "I need to feel your mouth on my pussy, John!"

He chuckled before licking your pussy, making you moan, your hands flying to grab his curls. John took his time licking from the bottom all the way to your clit. He repeated this motion several times, loving the way you tugged on him in desperation.

"Fuck!" you screamed when his lips sucked on your clit, your hips bucking into his face. "Fuck just like that!"

He sucked harder as one of his fingers teased your entrance. Your chest was up and down rapidly as your heartbeat quickened. You moaned loudly when his finger entered you, immediately hitting your g spot. He wasn't moving fast, but he was pressing deep into your pussy, making everything more intense.

"That feels so good," you said, "please don't stop. So good."

You hadn't slept with anyone since John. You couldn't possible bring yourself to. The only pleasure you'd gotten was from yourself, meaning your body more sensitive than usual. You felt your release coming fast.

"John, I think I'm gonna cum," you moaned out. In response, John picked up the pace, adding another finger. "I'm right there, baby, I just need a little bit more." John shook his head back and forth as he finger fucked you hard and fast. You screamed out, pulling his head further into your pussy as your release hit you. Your back arched against the bed, John taking one of the hands from behind his head to lace them together. You squeezed his hand as a wave of cum flooded his mouth, John happily licking all of it up.

You brought his face back up to your lips, needing to feel them against yours once again. You moaned slightly at the taste of yourself, John's hand gently cupping your cheek to kiss you deeper. He quickly took his bottoms off guiding his cock to your entrance. He tapped the head against your clit and your hips rolled.

"Is this okay?" John asked. "Are you sure you want this?"

You nodded desperately. "Please John, I need to feel you. Please."

He ran his cock through your folds before slowly pushing in, his body leaning over yours. You almost screamed at the way he was stretching your pussy.

"Fuck, baby, you're so tight," he hissed out. "When's the last time this pussy was touched by someone other than yourself?"

"Not since the day you left," you answered meekly. John's dick got even harder inside you.

"Yeah? This pussy is mine right baby?" he asked, bottoming out and stilling his hips.

"Mhm, all yours," you whined out, your body unable to stay still as he filled you.

"Are you okay?" he asked, looking deep into your eyes. "Do you need a minute?"

"Mhm," you answered. "I'm okay. Are you okay?"

"I'm more than okay, baby," he answered as he stroked your hair lightly, making your heart swell.

"John?" you asked.

"Yeah?"

"Give it to me please," you whispered. "I need it please!"

"I got you, baby," he said, kissing your forehead.

John moved his hips keeping a slow but deep pace. Your legs wrapped around him, needing to feel him pressed against you as you kissed him. John normally had you screaming at the top of your lungs, but this was different. This felt different. Nothing more was needed but breathy moans into each other's mouths, John really only picking up the pace slightly.

"It feels so good, Johnny," you moaned breathlessly. "So fucking good."

"Yeah? Feels good baby, doesn't it?" he asked. You nodded, eyes rolling back. "This pussy was made for me."

"Mhm. So big," you babbled. "Fucks me so good."

"You're taking it so well," he praised softly. "You look so fucking beautiful when you take my cock like this. Like you were meant to be here with me."

Tears started to form in your eyes, making John still.

"Baby, don't cry," he said worriedly. He wiped away the tears that were falling. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I'll stop if you want me to."

You shook your head. "No, don't stop. I've just wanted you to say those words to me. Please keep going."

"Are you sure? We don't have to keep going if you wanna stop," he said unsure.

"Johnny, please," you begged. "I want this. I want you. I don't want anything but you."

"Me too, baby," John replied as he moved his hips, keeping the same deep pace as before. "And I'm sorry it took me this long to realize it." He brought his hands to yours, pressing you into the bed as your fingers intertwined. "Do you hear me? I love you, Y/N. So. Fucking. Much," he said, thrusting as hard as he could to emphasize his words. "And I'm never fucking letting you go again."

"I love you too," you moaned. "I really do."

"I'm close," he said, rubbing your clit.

"Fuck, me too," you said.

"Cum with me, baby. That's it. Cum for me."

You back arched as you had the most intense orgasm of your life, squeezing John's hands as you let out a loud moan. John groaned at the feeling of your pussy clenching around him, triggering his own release. He came deep inside you, gently thrusting to get every last bit of his cum in you.

You both laid there panting for a moment staring into each others eyes, foreheads resting against one another.

"I think that's the hardest I ever came," he chuckled. "I don't think I've ever cum that much before."

"It felt really good," you admitted, "to be filled up like that."

"I love you, Y/N," he said again.

"I love you too, John."

John rolled off of you, getting up to grab a towel to clean you up. He gently ran it over your body, not wanting to hurt you. He cleaned himself before tossing the towel into the laundry and climbing back into bed.

"God, you're beautiful," he whispered to himself in awe of you.

"Will you stay?" you asked.

"Always," he replied.

John looked over at the clock to see it was past midnight.

"Merry Christmas, baby," he said. "Thank you for being the best present I could've ever had."

"Merry Christmas, Johnny. Thank you for coming home," you said, your eyes fluttering shut.

"I wouldn't wanna be anywhere else but with you."

John held you tight that night and every night after that. And you were glad you kept your faith in him. For John Stones was your Christmas miracle and that was all you needed.

Taglist: @thoseboysinblue @neverinadream @chilwellspulisic @lizzypotter14 @pulisicsgirl @lovelynikol16 @notsoattractivearenti @nyctophilic0vitnir @shadowscorch

#john stones #john stones imagine #john stones fic #john stones x reader #john stones one shot #swimmingismywholelife #john stones au #footballer imagine #footballer x reader #footballer one shot #footballer au

[theerurishipper]

After learning about the leaks about Paris special, I just want to say that all of the comics and headcanons fans created speculating how they would be in emoverse are much better than what we got. Wouldn't it be ironic to say that they're born evil like Chloe in ogverse and that some backstory doesn't justify their wrongdoings. They are evil and very much proud of it with either their cringe worthy fails or terrifying terrorism

Agreed. Like, I don't mind the arc they were intending for with Chloe, I don't mind them showing that some people can't change, but then they'll redeem the terrorist/abuser. And they'd rather say that Chloe is just inherently evil without exploring or acknowledging the backstory and motivations they wrote for her. That's the issue here. And now Shadybug and Claw Noir are going to get some half-assed redemption. Honestly, I would have preferred them being evil, you know, like an everyone has a good and bad side in them and who you are depends on the choices you make kind of thing, especially since Miraculous is so fond of redemptions.

I get it, that's just my wish and the show doesn't have to follow my exact preferred storyline to be good, but the information we have doesn't paint a very promising picture either way. Considering the bullshittery of the Season 5 finale and Gabriel's shitty-ass redemption, it really just feels like this special is pushing the Gabe Is Good agenda in our face, you know? I mean, Guardian Angel? For the child abuser in our main continuity? The one who doesn't seem like he did a good job in the alternate timeline either seeing as his son was so unable to process his grief that he became a magical terrorist? This guy is called Guardian Angel? I mean, maybe he did his best, but we won't know until we watch the special, and the show has a habit of blaming Adrien for Gabriel's actions anyway, so. It just feels like it's pushing the "some people are good and some people are evil no matter in what continuity, and Marinette and Adrien are good deep down, and so is Gabriel. But Chloe is just always evil lmaooooo." I don't mind it too much, but shit's still kinda weird, man.

And like, what do you mean "Shadybug and Claw Noir don't even like each other?" That's kind of the whole appeal for a lot of people lmao, and they hate each other? I mean, I'm not going to judge it based on my expectations and say it's bad just because I didn't get what I wanted, but... really? And I'm also gonna go out on a limb and say Hesperia and Claw Noir have no personal interaction despite them being father and son and Adrien's motivation being to bring Emelie back. Like, at a certain point, it crosses the line from being my insignificant expectation to being just... bad choices and an inability to create proper payoff. I think Hesperia interacts more with Marinette than Adrien in this special. Getting major Season 5 finale-esque "Marinette replaces Adrien in his arc" vibes.

But I'm not disappointed, surprising as that sounds. I never expected it to be good. I was always just here to see Claw Noir on screen so I can properly pick him up and toss him into my fanfics. I was excited for the special, sure, but I didn't have my hopes up and the leaks seem to have proved me right. Idk, maybe they'll surprise me. I doubt it though.

Thank you for your ask!

#MLB #Miraculous Ladybug #Adrien Agreste #Marinette Dupain Cheng #Gabriel Agreste #Chloe Bourgeois #Meta #My meta #Asks #ML Paris Special #Miraculous World #ML Salt #ML Writing Salt #ML Writers Salt #ML Leaks #ML Spoilers #ML Paris Spoilers #Ladybug #Chat Noir #Shadybug #Claw Noir

[rainbowsuitcase]

My Thoughts on D-Day Final Concert

Regarding my predictions - I am a Clown. and I am proud of it.

The energy of the crowd and Yoongi today was just perfect.

2Seok in the audience were truly amazing. I did not cry, no sir, not at all.

Kim Namjoon what the fuck. Strange was just fantastic and his solo afterwards? How dare he, truly.

My favorite thing about Namjoon's music is that he's not scared to try different styles and genres. He's obviously a rap guy, and a damn good one, but I've always loved his deep singing voice and it seems I'm about to get that with his next release. Love that for me.

Yoongi broke me. I don't want to talk about it.

Actually I do. He's so strong for still going and staying on that stage despite everything he must have been feeling. Him being carried away after Amygdala hit extra hard today.

I hope he got lots of hugs and kisses backstage.

Please respect him and don't make memes out of the pictures.

The crowd chanting "love you" and "it's okay..." Thank you.

I love the chemistry Yoongi has with his band, he's such a good hypeman. I hope we see the band again.

I love his chemistry with EL CAPITXN and apparently they've worked with each other for a while now? Love that.

That tattoo reveal? Oh, it's hot, let me just... Truly, perfectly on brand for him. And his "oh, did something happen?" afterward is very Bratty Yoongi like only he can do it.

Also the fact that he has The Tattoo on his injured shoulder... As someone who also has a bad shoulder (and many more health issues), I want to cry just thinking about it.

He always just walked away at the end but today he stayed behind to say goodbye... sobs

He left through the door from the Amygdala MV, the one he couldn't get out of before. But now he did. Now, he's free.

Today, I properly realized how much this tour must mean to Yoongi, not just as a performing artist but from a personal point of view as well. I don't know how he really feels, of course, but I can imagine it being a very healing experince and I love that for him.

The next BTS tour is going to be insane. During this solo tour, Yoongi has discovered so many things that drive us crazy and he loved using them against us. That's not going away, I'm afraid. We are doomed.

#log #bts #d day #d day tour #agust d #suga #yoongi

[tatzelwyrm]

After beating jedi survivor twice i have one issue with it. The villains are so boring!!

Dagen is an angsty whining final fantasy looking jerk

Bode was fun UNTIL HE WENT EVIL. And then he reminded me of dagen with his crappy attitude.

Rayvis had me very intrigued and couldve been a great villain… if he didnt have a collective total of like 15 minutes of screen time before dying.

Frankly after such a great antagonist in trilla when playing fallen order, it was really a disappointment dealing with these fools

I am with you on Dagan and Rayvis, but Bode haunts me.

Dagan in particular is very forgettable, which is a shame, because a 200-year-old High Republic era Jedi with a grudge is a fun concept. But, in the end, he might as well have remained a vision encountered entirely through Cal's psychometry. Him being there in the flesh didn't add much to the game apart from 3 boss fights.

Rayvis is your standard proud warrior guy with a life debt who lives for war. He sounds like the voice actor had fun, but there's nothing much to him that interests me. But then, as you say, it's not like he's really in the game all that much.

Neither of them is as fleshed out or has as much of a presence as Trilla.

But Bode just haunts me.

I suspected he was gonna betray us the moment he showed us a picture of his little daughter, but despite his betrayal being expected, I ended up enjoying the details a lot.

I've said elsewhere that I believe that the phrase "doomed by the narrative" is overused but that I believe that it fits Bode perfectly and that's why I enjoy his story.

[Detailed spoilers follow.]

I am compelled by how trapped he is. How he trapped himself long before we ever meet him.

He is so driven by his fears that he would rather live alone with his daughter on an empty planet than share it.

He is so driven by his fears that he can't trust anyone. In his eyes, anyone could be a spy, anyone could betray him and Kata to his masters. Why is he so convinced that anyone among the Hidden Path could be a spy? Because he is one himself and betraying people is his job. It's delicious.

Cal is also driven by fear of loss. His goal in this game is to gather everybody he cares about and hide them away in a place where none of the evil in the galaxy can touch them. It's a fantasy so naive that, a week later, I still can't believe he pulled it off, even if only on a surface level (which is my one problem with the game. The ending is too open. I kept waiting for the consequences for Cal's brief touch with the dark side. I kept waiting for him to realise that keeping Tanalorr a secret and the compass out of the hands of the Empire is going to be enormously complicated, maybe even impossible, especially given that he mentions making copies the compass... I hate when AAA games do cliffhangers, given how much time it takes to make one).

But one difference between Cal and Bode is that Bode can't trust anyone. Cal's goal is explicitly to share his mythical paradise planet with as many people as possible while Bode is so paranoid he apparently wants his daughter to grow up a hermit on an empty.

Bode assumes the worst of everyone because he himself is the worst vs. Cal who assumes the best of everyone and offers second chances like candy (to Caij, to Rayvis, to Trilla in Fallen Order, to Bode himself).

Bode is another dark mirror for Cal, like Trilla, like Dagan (nothing new here, it's a narrative staple, but a good one in my option, I enjoy it, and I like the way it's done in Fallen Order with Trilla and I like the way it's done with Bode here). Bode is what Cal could become if he lets his fears of loss consume him.

There is still hope for Cal though while there was never any hope for Bode. He was on that road long before we met him.

While I'm personally not a fan of stories that explore that whole "attachments are bad if you're a Jedi" angle (and I suspect we're getting a lot more of that in a potential sqeuel), Bode is actually a good example in my eyes.

Bode offered himself to the Empire. The game (in particular the Force Echoes on Nova Geron) makes it very clear that Bode is the one who approached the ISB, not the other way around. This wasn't a situation in which he was held at gunpoint and offered the choice to work for the ISB or die. He also wasn't tortured into working for the Empire like Trilla and other Inquisitors. Bode himself put Kata in the hands of the Empire because he was a slave to his fears.

It's what makes him so tragic. He never could have acted any differently. Nothing we could have done could have convinced him to truly trust Cal. Bode is simply in too deep.

By the end it's clear he doesn't even really care about Kata as a person. How is living alone on an empty planet good for her? How is living on an ISB base good for her while Bode is away all the time? He ends up hurting her over and over in name of protecting her, even physically, in the end.

By the time we meet him, all that matters to Bode is that she is alive and he can keep clinging to her and to the handy excuse she represents. It's the way he lives.

There is a Force Echo on the Lucrehulk in which Bode hopes that Cal is safe after they're separated. But once Bode remembers that he is going to betray Cal eventually, he buries that sentiment very quickly with the mantra of "I'm doing this for Kata".

Bode needs to keep telling himself that every horrible thing he does is for Kata, because if that ever stops being true, what does that make him?

Bode can't be saved just like the Ninth Sister couldn't be saved in the beginning of the game. Honestly, when we killed the Ninth Sister in the tutorial level I was wondering why she was even in the game, given how quickly we dispatched her.

But by the end it made sense to me. She was there to mirror Bode's fate. Cal hesitates a long, long time before dealing the killing blow to her. He talks to her (at her, rather, given that this is a very one-sided conversation). He calls her by her name, her true name. She never answers. She just stomps and snarls, too consumed by her anger to form words. Cal's final words to her are "it's time to set you free". He realises nothing he could do could make her turn from her path. She's going to keep fighting until one of them is dead.

It's the same with Bode. Cal begs him to surrender. Bode never stops fighting him, consumed by his fear. When Bode shoots first, Cal realises nothing he could do could make him let go of his fear. Bode is going to keep fighting until one of them is dead. Dying is the only way in which Bode could ever be free from his fears.

Perfect bookends.

I hate Bode because he killed sweet old never-did-anything-wrong-in-his-entire-life Cordova (right in front of BD-1, too!) and because he uses Kata as a cheap excuse for everything, including leading countless people to their deaths, betraying Cere's location and leaving Kata herself trapped on an ISB base (and, eventually, potentially, on a peaceful but empty planet).

But mainly I feel so sorry for him because he's so tragic. He dug himself a hole and never stopped digging...

#jedi survivor #bode akuna #cal kestis #masana tide #ninth sister #anyway here's my 1000 feelings on bode akuna #bode is going to keep haunting me #jedi survivor spoilers #spoilers #through a glass darkly

[kagakuoniryu]

Can you do childe , scaramouche and xiao with a s/o that isn’t the greatest fighter but while shopping reader gets into a fist fight over something and wins

Synopsis :

You end up in a fist fight and win

Character :

Childe/tartaglia

Xiao

Scaramouche

Warning :

None, it's been a while I haven't written so I might make a few (a lot) of mistake

A/N :

I would gladly use again the excuse of my exam for this late, well, very late answer but the real reason is that I'm lazy, I hope I won't have to write this in two parts or else it will be even more delayed

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Childe/Tartaglia :

Childe knew you weren't the kind to fight, an he respected that

Being seen as a nuisance in his own country because of his tendency to bring chaos everywhere is already enough, so usually you're the balance of the two

But one night in liyue harbor when you were taking a stroll with you beloved boyfriend some guy recognized childe, he wasn't really welcomed anywhere anymore since the accident with Osial

Childe being well... Him, provoked them even more

At one point the guy, still trying to attack him verbally, said that he wasn't even worth being with you at all since he has blood on his hands

Childe became quiet and you knew it was the last straw, he tried to be better for you everyday and had some issues with his self image

So you through the hardest punch you could, to the point it even made you stand back a little

The other guy tried to attack you, luckily you knew the base of self defense et were able give more damage on them that they did en you

Then taking childe by the arm you started to speed walk away, winning

When he realized what happened he was just as excited as a puppy, telling you how amazing you were et imitating some of your move

You knew you'll have a long night when he started talking about sparring together

Xiao :

Even if he is an adpetus still in fonction and take a lot of his time to defeat demons he always go out of his way to make sure you get home or travel safe

One night when you were visiting him at wangshu inn you fell into a treasure hoarder's trap

Xiao heard your voice since you weren't that far away but got only closer, he couldn't intervene unless you called his name

And that's how he saw you, his sweet s/o, the most pacific person he met, taking part in a fist fight AND winning

Once it was over you just dusted your clothes and got on your merry way to visit him

He isn't going to bring it up to you unless you do but he found you pretty cool

Scaramouche :

Scaramouche doesn't fight much either, or at least he doesn't need to

Only a glance from him and people are already heavily sweating, so even if he was a really good fighter he don't go to violence immediately

During one evening, a party was set by the tsaritsa herself, she wanted the fatui member to bond and have some fun since the gnosis hunt was going smoothly

And while your boyfriend were pouting on a chair because he didn't wanted to be here, it didn't stopped you from having fun

Until a very drunk childe tried to start a fight with everyone available

Not very sobber yourself, but still more than childe the two of you started to playfully fight, until ut became a full fight with kick, punch and everything

Call it luck or call it childe being almost black out drunk but you managed to win against him

You still had a few bruises and cut here and there, so you just got home with scaramouche when he asked you to

Once in the confort of your home he loosen up a bit, told you he is proud that you put this ginger in place and won against him despite not being that keen on fighting but prefer if next time you'll let him handle it or just don't fight at all

You had to remind him that the scratch you got were nothing and that no, he can't kill childe just because he want to when he is like this

~hope you'll like it~

🌸Request are open🌸

#request #genshin #writing #genshin headcanon #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #Childe #Tartaglia #Childe x reader #tartaglia x reader #Xiao #Xiao x reader #Scaramouche #kunikuzushi #Scaramouche x reader #Kunikuzushi x reader #Gender neutral reader #Genshin impact

[ucannotkillmeinawaythatmatters]

who’s your fav yuri on ice character???

oh gosh, it's toooo hard to choose just one!! hope you don't mind me cheating, but here's a quick rundown of my top favorite characters (in no particular order):

k yuuri: now it's actually not very often when the main character of the anime is actually my favorite, but yuuri is just so great!! his anxiety and insecurities are so relatable, I just can't help but root for him. he works so goddamn hard to achieve his dreams, and he's so unbelievably kind and caring. I rly like how he can be selfless at some points and selfish at others. he's just so agfjsnaj. I adored being able to follow him as he worked and succeeded. like he's just so captivating, I literally can't not pay him attention. my heart would ache every time he struggled with his issues, and I couldn't help but cheer every time he had a success. I just love him a lot!!

Viktor: god there's just so much to him. he's too interesting. I'm not eloquent enough to give a good character analysis, but I have read plenty of them and loved every second of it. he chases after what he wants til he gets it. he always succeeds. he's super contradictory in that he's mad calculating, but he seems like an airhead. he's super intelligent, but he gets lots of ppl to think he's dumb and unthinking. he's also so so tragic bc he was depressed and stagnant for so long. I feel like it's also hard to get a good grasp on who he is bc of the way he molds himself to be whatever is needed. until yuuri showed him how to just be himself ofc. but yeah he's just rly interesting!!

Chris: I rly don't have much to go on with him bc of his side character status unfortunately. he's just a funky lil guy and I like him!! he's got that supportive friend energy and he seems like a major instigator to me, which is super fun. and I crack up every time he does a routine with "sex appeal" which just makes me like him more

yuri p: my like of yuris character has changed over the years interestingly enough?? when I first started watching YOI, we were around the same age. so I was pretty in awe of him, and looked up to how cool he was. despite his unfortunate love of cat prints (which I personally dislike). but yeah, he was majorly inspiring cuz here's somebody my age whos so angry and proud, pouring out blood sweat and tears into achieving his goals. as I got older, it got a lil different?? bc here's somebody so young sacrificing his soul to get everything he wanted to get. but he's baby. he's just a baby. must give him support, must give him protection. but yeah, I love him!!

otabek: again, not that much to go on with him. but there's just smth so endearing about him being notoriously private and quiet, looking at Yuri in all his loudness and anger and just. choosing to be friends with him. bro had the perfect set up to be angry and jealous over the difference in their careers, but instead he just wanted to be friends!! which Yuri definitely needed, so that gives him extra bonus points

thanks so much for your ask!! I hope you don't mind how this ended up being pretty long and rambly

#yuri on ice #katsuki yuuri #viktor nikiforov #chris giacometti #yuri plisetsky #otabek altin #i love them your honor #shrooms thoughts

[sherwoodknights]

SP 1999 EPISODE 5 LIVEBLOG

And thus begins the final 2 parter of the series!!!!

Uh oh its 1794 and they're at an orphanage in paris

I'm gonna get my heart ripped out by the Dauphin aren't I goddammit

THE KIDS CALLING HIM YOUR MAJESTY LMAOOO

MY POOR BOY STOP SHOUTING AT HIM

I don't care what version of the story it is, I can and will get emotional over the Dauphin

LEAVE THE CHILD ALONE HES A LITERAL CHILD STOP MAKING HIM INSULT HIS PARENTS FFS

Who is the spooky man in the mask

Richard E Grant are you the spooky man in the mask

HE JUST FULL ON PUNCHED A WOMAN IN THE FACE AND STABBED A MAN IM NOT SO SURE THATS RICHARD E GRANT

Transformers wishes it has explosions like this

Awww percy being nice to the painter what a king

Women in pretty dresses yes please <3333

Marguerite in red dress is GORGEOUSSSS

Suzanne is also gorgeous for the record

PERCY AND MARGOT STOP HAVING FIGHTS IN FRONT OF THE PRINCE

SHES LEAVING HIM?????

Please tell me that was all part of a plan

I do not care if you are the Prince of England sir you will not touch my wife

Oh no

Oh I don't think it was planned at all

Margot you know what happened the last 2 times you were alone in france

Ugh ffs Chauvelin leave her aloneeeeee

"Your English is better than mine" says the British actor to the American actress

God they're so bad at small talk

Yeah Marguerite why have you left Percy we'd all like to know

Stop enjoying this so much Chauvvy damn

GET YOUR HANDS OFF HER SHES SLEEPING

Oh wait he was waking her up my bad

What do the French government want with Marguerite thoooo

OH SHIT MAYBE IT IS A PLAN

GODDAMN THEY HAD ME FOOLED

Robespierre has a model village akdndjeksndnd??????

Robespierre rolling his eyes and looking disgusted while Marguerite talks about falling in love with Percy lmaoooooo

She is a person thank you very much don't call her a piece of propaganda

Omgggg do we get to see margot back on stage lets gooo

"You should be in politics" oh robespierre if only you knew

WHY IS ROBESPIERRE LIKE A SULKING CHILDDDD

Chauvvy with a cigarette is kinda hot????

Andrew in a silly revolutionary beanie is too cute lmao

Who are they looking for

OH SHIT THE GUY THEYRE LOOKING FOR IS HANGING FROM THE CEILING

Yeah you go you funky actress stick your scene partners head into your chest

Oh god margot had to share a carriage with Chauvvy AND Robespierre?? That must have been the world journey in the worlddd

Oh nevermind the actress is a raging bitch

Aksjejskekrkrk she insulted robespierres playwrighting abilities

"It's an honour, Citizen robespierre-" "no, its an intrusion" lmao what a line

PERCY STOP KISSING YOUR WIFE CHAUVELIN IS RIGHT THERE

PERCY AND MARGOT REUNION AGAIN <3333

Uh oh the shaver cut Robespierre he's gonna dieee

He doesn't believe Percy is the Pimpernel despite the fact that he admitted it to Chauvelin??? Trust issues in full throttle I see

You go percy save that woman I believe in you

ROBESPIERRE BALANCING THE GLASSES ON THE WIG AGAIN LMAOOO

SIR THE DAUPHIN IS A CHILD DO NOT DARE BRING HIM TO TRIAL

The only time I will agree with Robespierre in this series is when he refuses to put a 10 year old on trial and execute him

Honestly Andrew looks so fit in his revolutionary disguise

Oh no where's the woman they were gonna save gone

OH FUCKED SHES BEEN DROWNED AND HER NECKS BEEN BROKEN

Stop bullying margot you bitch she's more of an actor than you'll ever be

We get a lot of sassy robespierre this episode and I'm enjoying it honestly

I hope the guy on stage rips his pants

Not out of spite or anything I just think it would be funny

I swear to god if she sabotages Margot ill cry

Girl what the fuck kind of Epilogue is this

DONT CALL MY WIFE A TRAITOR YOU BASTARD

Shoutout that one random man in the audience for starting to sing i guess????

Look he saved Marguerite from looking completely stupid good on him

Two seconds ago they were insulting her and now they're carrying her through the streets on shoulders??

Aww percy looks so proud of her <33

Another episode done!

Only one episode left this season now, I can't wait to see how this goes!!

#the scarlet pimpernel #sky liveblogs #sky watches sp1999 #the scarlet pimpernel 1999 #richard e. grant #Martin shaw #elizabeth mcgovern

[einno-arko]

Fragments - Part one: Thieves and Heroes

Summary: We experience our past in fragments; stories told to us as children to incite adventure and fantasy. But when you live in a galaxy of wizards and bounty hunters, life tends to be more fantastical than fiction.

Pairing: Din Djarin X Fem!reader

Word Count: 6.8k

Beta Reader/Editor: @sleepingsun501 (Thank you again so much, I really wouldn't have gotten this far with out you)

A/N: Finally! I originally posted the first part of this months ago on Ao3 (link to that will be provided below), but I wasn't super proud of how the original draft turned out. But thanks to my lovely and amazing friend @sleepingsun501, I'm now able to post the version of this that I'm extremely proud of! She really helped me fix my pacing issues and many other things that helped shape it into what it is now. I am forever thankful for your help ❤️❤️❤️❤️. This is my first Mandalorian fic, and it was the first X Reader I had ever written, so I really hope you guys enjoy!

AO3 | Main Masterlist

Warnings: language, canon typical violence, hurt reader, mentions of blood and death, slight angst. Slow burn

You had very few memories left from when you were young, and from those few, there were only fragments. You could never seem to focus on the finer details of them. Although bits of faces here and certain smells there brought up pieces of a puzzle, you would never be able to piece them all back together. However, there were a few things that frequented these fragments with absolute clarity: stories.

Legends, fables, and fairytales told to you before bedtime to incite dreams of fantasy and adventure; they were what you clung to. They had stuck with you even as you aged and anything resembling adolescence faded away. They belonged to simpler, safer times and naïve feelings. Regardless of the distance that seemed to infinitely grow between you and your past, you still longed for just a hint of those feelings again.

A distant shout at the entrance of the alleyway pulled you back from your wandering train of thought as the severity of your current situation set in. With a frantic glance over your shoulder, you adjusted the strap on your pack and secured your plunder. You were tired, the heaviness on your lungs and the soreness in your legs thumping alongside your racing heartbeat. If there was anybody more troubling and downright annoying than dock troopers, it had to be the other scavengers. At least with the troopers, they would eventually give up on their chase, figuring it would be less work and even less paperwork if the perp just got away. The scavengers, on the other hand, were a different story. Like sharks, they came at the slightest whiff of corroded copper and rusted steel. With the haul you managed to get your hands on, you were surprised they had not appeared already and stumbled across you.

You glanced around the alley walls, your eyes straining from the lack of light. Despite being your biggest detriment at the moment, the darkness was the only thing keeping you safe and out of view of your pursuers. You cursed under your breath, ripping one of your gloves off and running your now bare fingertips along the wet surface.

The worn brick wall was slick with Maker only knowing what, but there was a specific scuff mark you were looking for; one many would easily miss or disregard if not actively looking for it. The mark was shallow enough to look like it was made by the unloading of heavy crates, but it was deep enough to have been put there intentionally. The marks did not take the form of any sign or symbol, but rather a few small, seemingly random lines meant to point you in the right direction to a temporary safe house.

As you searched, you remembered you had passed the route by which you used to get to the docks, trying to get a sense of exactly where you were in case you needed to bolt. It had been a while since you had trespassed on a rival gang’s territory, and you were not familiar with the lay of the land here. You were already on thin ice with your boss after losing a total of three hauls to rival gangs in the past few weeks, and you were not about to let misdirection get in the way of this one.

“Fucking scrumrats,” you mumbled, your irritation growing as you heard a group of low voices and footsteps nearby. Your slow inspection of the wall became a frantic search as you felt your heart start to beat in your ears.

In midst of your panic, you had not noticed the empty, metal crates stacked neatly next to the wall until their presence was made painfully obvious when you accidentally bumped into them. As they tumbled down with a loud crash, you froze apart from your head swinging back toward the entrance of the alley. They heard it. you thought instinctively. They had to have heard it, especially with how the sound bounced off the walls and echoed into the night.

You waited with bated breath, quietly resuming your search as you listened for the telltale sounds of approaching footfalls. Sure enough, the group of men, who had passed by not only a few minutes ago, returned to find you sneaking through their gang’s territory. You cursed again, sliding the glove back onto your hand before covering your face with the black cloth loosely tied around your neck and pulling your small vibroblade out of its sheath as they closed in on you.

You knew you had lost the moment six figures surrounded you instead of the two or three you were expecting. You had barely managed to get away from the original two that previously ambushed you outside the docks, but the other four? Fighting them off alone was unrealistic, to say the least.

Sadly, you did not put up much of a fight. You knew other females just like you who could have easily bested them, but you were not a fighter by nature or by practice. You had probably gotten one or two good slashes in before you were on the ground being beaten half to death and your haul being swiped right out from under you. But the fact you had lost was not going to do you in. It was that you blew it, again. Every piece, every scrap in your bag had been specially requested parts, ones meant to make up for the others you lost. Your mishaps had already set you and your team back on your commissions by weeks, but at this point, you would not be surprised if it was now over a month. You debated not even returning, sorely tempted to just bleed out in the alleyway rather than face whatever punishment awaited you. But, perhaps stupidly, you did eventually return.

You had barely made it through the door of the club, the Ivory, before your knees buckled, sending you falling face-first onto the tiled floor. The music and chatter never ceased though, as if you were not there. In any case, you were more concerned about the burning pain in your side and the slow, warm spread of wetness adhering your worn shirt to your body.

For a few moments, you simply laid there, hissing through gritted teeth as the pain only worsened with every heartbeat. This is so bad. your sluggish brain concluded as you slowly and painfully pushed yourself up into a kneeling position. Every breath was agony as you glanced up from the floor, the details of the room coming in clearer from one eye than the other. If it was that hard just getting off the floor, how could you possibly expect to stand up, let alone make it across the room?

A mixture of relief and fear washed through you as one of your boss’s personal guards finally noticed your presence. He stomped over from the door he was stationed at, closing the distance between you in five long strides; your heart beating in tandem with each unnaturally long step. Before you could utter a word, he seized you by your bad arm and began dragging you along.

“Hey—ow—fuck—! Be careful!” you hissed up at him, trying to push yourself up with your uninjured leg but failing to gain any real traction. The burly Twi’lek was clearly not listening, and the moment you two made it past the threshold, he tossed you at your boss’s feet before swiftly closing the door behind him, taking the pulsating sounds of the club with him.

You were left in silence with your boss, and you nervously turned your eyes up to him. He was normal-looking enough, and if you had not known any better, you would think he was a bit misplaced, like a wolf in sheep’s clothing. He peered down at you from behind the crystalline glass in his hand, blue glowing liquid sloshing gently back and forth as he swirled it ever so softly. He was relaxed, despite your clear disruption of his night, and seemed to be almost bored. His eyes reflected the dullness of disinterest as he continued to look down upon you from his metallic throne.

“Are you hungry? Thirsty, perhaps?” he inquired absently.

You had grown rather good at listening for the slight undertones in voices that would contradict their statements and perceived moods. With him, you knew to look for the artificial empathy with a tinge of indifference. If you had not been on the receiving end of his wrath before, you would have thought that the questions were genuine. You remained silent and tried to ignore your pain.

“I’ll pour you a glass anyways,” he said as he waved the service droid stationed in the corner over. The bot lowered a tray in front of him and he began pouring the same azure liquid into an empty glass. “You’ve been busy tonight. Made another run to the docks, right?” your boss continued. “I bet the haul was a good one, all things considered.”

Ziven Costello was not a nice man, and it was reflected in his eyes. Even now, as he poured you a drink you never asked for, the faux generosity and purposeful patience made your skin ache worse than it already did. He gestured toward your crumpled form with a tilt of his head, noting the rough state you were in. “Did you know that a group of Empire remnants sought out our services? Specifically requesting parts for an older model of TIE fighter—parts that you were tasked to retrieve.” He set the bottle of liquor down with a soft thud. “Definitely people you wouldn’t want to disappoint, but that shouldn’t be too much of an issue as long as we deliver on our end of the deal. I can trust that you brought your haul back in one piece this time, correct?” The man was not asking for confirmation of a successful job, but rather a confession of failure. He was just toying with you for his own amusement, and he wanted to hear you admit to your shortcoming.

You waited a few moments before slowly shaking your head. “I tried, sir… I-I really did, but a group of scrumrats cornered me before I could make it to the safehouse,” you defended weakly. It was not enough of an excuse, and you were acutely aware of that. You should have been smart enough to avoid that situation altogether, or at least been fast enough to escape. You were getting rusty.

“I see,” he sighed, dismissing the droid with a flick of his wrist, but not before grabbing the glass and standing behind his desk. “You know how much I…” He paused, gazing up at the ceiling and rotating his wrist three times as he tried to remember the word, “…detest failures and mishaps. I have a reputation to uphold, and I expect everyone I employ to perform at peak efficiency. You can’t run a successful business with people who fail to perform and deliver, now can you?”

You hesitantly shook your head as he leaned down and offered you your drink. You looked at the gleaming liquid, hoping it had not been altered in any way before accepting the glass. Whether or not the trembling in your hands and the cold numbness creeping up your back was caused by blood loss or the fear of not knowing what Ziven would do next was unclear, but you could feel your impending doom inch closer as the seconds ticked by.

“I took you in, gave you a roof over your head, a purpose. Up to this point, you’ve been a real asset to me, an ace, even. But four times now, you have underperformed, and I just kept letting it slide because of the reputation you garnered. But what does that say about me, hm? That I’m forgiving? That I’m growing soft in my old age?”

Ziven looked at you expectantly, eyeing the untouched drink in your now trembling hand. You took the smallest of sips to maintain a level of courtesy as he stood again slowly, watching you before continuing.

“No, it would imply that I’m weak. It gives people the impression that they can walk all over me and get away with it,” he sighed, reaching behind his back slowly. “I’ve been going easy on you for too long now, and I can’t allow you to continue letting me down, but I can’t really afford to just let you go either. You know too much, you’ve seen too much, and I need to set an example. However, because of everything you’ve done for me, I’ll make this quick and painless; scant mercy, if you will.”

He pulled a blaster from the small of his back and you deflated at the sight of it. There was no way you could fight him, not in this state, and even if you could, you would never make it past the door. He admired the marble handle of the gaudy blaster for a moment before pointing it at you, and all you could do was watch.

“I’m sorry it had to be this way, I truly am,” he conceded. For the first time, you thought you detected the slightest bit of genuine remorse in his voice.

Your mind wandered back to the fragments, searching for a sliver of comfort in your last moments, and you settled on the first one that came to mind: the story of a hero saving a damsel in distress. You could hear a woman’s voice recite the story to you softly as the world seemed to slow down around you. You would have chuckled at the naivety of it if you could, but it seemed too fitting for your current predicament. It was almost too easy to put yourself in the heroine's shoes, being saved last minute, getting swept off your feet—your knees if you wanted to be technical, and being offered a second chance at life. You managed to find a sense of solace in the thought as you lost yourself in the delusion, but it only lasted for a moment. You were just a petty thief, after all, and people like you never got those happy endings. You closed your eyes and you felt a stray tear roll down your cheek as you braced yourself for impact, clinging to the last shred of comfort you had left.

An impact that never came.

Suddenly, you heard the blaring music of the club fill the room once again as the door swung open. A pair of heavy boots came thumping in and stopped only a few feet behind you. You blinked your eyes open, but for some reason, you could not seem to peel them away from Ziven’s black dress shoes.

“What the hell—?” your boss started, and you could only assume that he had raised the blaster toward the newcomer before a single shot whizzed over you. The heat of the plasma caused the hair on top of your head to stand up as if reaching for it. You had no idea where the shot originated from, but a mere second later, the imposing man in front of you fell back with a yelp, cradling his hand as his gun hit the ground beside you. The other figure resumed their approach, and you heard metal clink together as they walked by. You still did not dare glance up as they crouched in front of your boss, their cloaked back facing you.

“Wh-who the hell are you?” Ziven gasped out, his voice trembling in pain. A few beats of silence passed before your boss spoke again, bargaining with the intruder. “Who hired you? I can-I can double your pay, hell, I can even tr-triple it, just name a price.”

“I can bring you in warm,” a deep, modulated voice begins softly, “or I can bring you in cold.”

Monotone, cold, probably a male. you observed just from his voice alone. When you finally looked up, a mountain of brownish-grey fabric and broad shoulders had positioned himself directly between you and your boss. Even as your eyes caught the reflecting light off the domed metal helmet peeking just over the worn cloth, you could not tell if it really was a man or just a glorified droid, but the disk projecting a hologram of your boss sitting next to him drew your attention. A bounty hunter. your thoughts whispered, warning yourself as your unfocused gaze slid from the disk to the discarded gun behind him.

The gun scraped against the floor softly as you picked it up. The intimidating figure did not budge at the sound but turned his head slightly the moment you raised the weapon, the marble cold in your hand as you trained it on the figure before you. You saw a small smirk creep its way onto Ziven’s face from the corner of your eye, content that you were still loyal to him.

Despite how your mind was still traveling at sublight speeds, trying to process the situation, your shaking hand was a testament to how quickly your state of physical awareness was declining. Somewhere in your delirium, you realized you could no longer hear the loud chatter you observed earlier coming from the open office door. In addition, no one had stepped in to help, not even the guard who brought you in. That could only mean one of two things; either everyone had bolted at the first sight of danger, or this bounty hunter had killed them—all of them. Your bets were on the latter.

As if he confirmed you were not a threat through your hesitation alone, he turned back to your boss. “You’re the Golden Tears gang,” he said, the statement hanging heavily in the air. Neither you nor your boss responded, so he continued, addressing you alone this time as he dragged your boss up onto his feet, “I need someone who can fix a ship for me, and your gang is known for vehicle repairs.” Once he had your boss in cuffs in front of him, he turned to face you properly, “I would like to maintain a low profile. I can pay handsomely.”

You could not see his eyes through the tinted visor, but you could feel his hard stare as it held you in place. The helmet itself looked familiar, but the race and culture it belonged to seemed to escape your recollection. You could not decide which was worse: the fact that he viewed you as the least threatening being on the planet, or the innate fear of what might happen if you chose not to respond. Fighting the fog in your brain, you weighed your options very carefully before lowering the blaster. If he wanted to hurt me, he would have. you reasoned. “I-I can help with the repairs for your ship. You’re right to not trust technicians on this planet. They’re more likely to scrap and take off with both your credits and your parts.”

He cocked his helmet to the side slightly as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “How can I trust that you won’t do that?” he asked simply, and you glanced over at your boss. Just a few minutes ago, that man was the most intimidating person in your life, the driving force behind your perfection. Now, you had just been offered the second chance you so desperately needed, and Ziven just stood there in stunned silence, realizing his world was falling apart around him as he gazed blankly into the empty club beyond the door.

“You just saved my life, whether you meant to or not. I’ll forever be in your debt,” you admitted, finally dragging yourself off the floor.

A few beats of silence passed before the masked man nodded once, seemingly content with your reasoning. Without another word, he dragged your boss away and you hobbled after him. As you stepped through the door, the sight before you confirmed your previous suspicions as you carefully stepped over the body of the Twi’lek crumpled just outside the door.

You were able to patch yourself up quietly in the privacy of the club’s refresher as the bounty hunter secured his new quarry in carbonite. It was a sight you wish you could have seen, but wound care had to come first with the amount of blood you had lost. With a hiss, you tightened the bandages around your ribs and prayed that the sutures would hold. You were used to helping patch up your fellow crew mates after a job had gone south, but you rarely had the displeasure of applying first aid to yourself.

Once you were certain that you were not going to bleed through the bandages, you slung your duffle over your shoulder and slowly opened the door. The bounty hunter was waiting for you next to the main entrance, his arms crossed over his chest as he leaned against the wall. His gaze locked on you the moment you stepped through the doorway and followed you as you made your way over. You wondered how long he had been waiting for you as you watched his helmet dip downwards before sliding back up to its original position.

“Sorry it took so long,” you apologized under your breath, shifting your weight from one foot to the other as discomfort set in. You received no response as he pushed himself away from the wall and motioned for you to follow.

After the bounty hunter, who you now recognized as a Mandalorian, led you back to his ship, you gave him the coordinates to an old hangar that your team used to operate out of. The facility was set on the outskirts of the city, a smaller one bordered by a thick forest. Your boss abandoned it a few years back after he gained control over rival territory. You knew that if anyone were to come looking for Ziven, this would be the last place they would check.

The bounty hunter’s ship was an old ST-70 class Razor Crest M-111 assault ship that had been practically falling apart at the seams. As he landed the ship in the main courtyard, you noted the way it seemed to creak and groan as if it were in pain.  Once you were safely inside the derelict hangar, you exited the ship and set to work. While you slowly circled the exterior of the ship, you hummed softly to yourself and examined every plasma mark and piece of exposed wiring. You wondered what stories this ship could tell, if only it could talk. You sighed to yourself, mentally noting all the damage. Upon completing your analysis of the exterior, you cautiously made your way up the ramp.

The Mandalorian was standing next to the carbonite chamber when you entered, watching you carefully with his arms tightly crossed as you made your way deeper into the hull. Thankfully, the interior did not seem to have sustained a great deal of damage, and you would probably be finished with the minor repairs within a week at most.

“Based on first impressions alone, I’d say the repairs will take me a little under a month,” you began softly, running your fingers along the metal bulkhead, “but I’ll still run a proper diagnostic so I can give you a more accurate estimate.”  You paused in front of a bundled group of wires and started untangling them; needing something to keep your hands busy as your nerves grew. It was his silence that unnerved you the most. You were used to relying on people’s facial expressions and vocal tones to get a read on them, but with him, it was as if he were a book of blank pages. “There should still be plenty of material for me to get the job done, but we’ll still need supplies, like food, water, and maybe some specific parts. I can make a run in the morning.”

You highly doubted he would need anything further from you at the moment as you finished untangling the wires. When you made your way off the ship, you could still feel his hard gaze burning holes into the back of your skull.

His head tilted at you as you turned to face him once more, and the visor glinted in the faint light above him. He did not respond to anything you had just said beyond that head tilt, so you cleared your throat, “I-I’ll be making use of the dorms. If you need anything, that’s where I’ll be.”

The next morning, you decided to start with the exterior first—figuring it would be better to get the hardest parts out of the way. There were leaks in the fuel lines, holes in the casing around the engines, exposed wiring, and a detached turret, not to mention the many, many holes dotting the frame and shell.

You quickly developed a routine within the first few days: waking at the crack of dawn, preparing a quick meal and a cup of caf for both you and the Mandalorian, changing any soiled bandages, and then starting on your repairs. He rarely bothered you while you worked, opting to spend his time either on the ship or keeping an eye on the surrounding area for any signs of intruders or rival gangs. The repairs easily took up the rest of your days, and you only stopped when you were physically exhausted. Afterward, you would clean up, make some dinner, sometimes using whatever food he had scrounged up, and then you would go to bed.

You had not heard him say a single word since he had led you away from the Ivory, and he did not often stick around long enough for you to strike up a conversation. The few times you had tried, he had simply walked away. Not that you minded, because as much as you hated to admit it, he made you nervous. You never even saw him when you left him his meals on the crate next to the ladder that led to the cockpit. You only ever tried to talk to him because you were clueless about what to do with the awful silence that seemed to follow him. He was like a black hole, sucking in all sounds from around him.

“You’re still hurt,” he observed suddenly one day, his modulated voice taking you by surprise.

You leaned heavily into the side of the ship, holding your ribs carefully and trying to catch your breath. You were two weeks into your repairs, and in that time, you had torn your stitches once and lost a lot of steam. You were tired and hurting all the time, but there was no need for him to know that. You took a few more deep breaths in before nodding, turning to face him. It was the first time you had heard him speak in weeks, and you would be lying if you said the sudden reappearance of his voice did not startle you. Even at a distance, it felt like he was staring you down, his arms crossed over his chest as he, too, lounged into the side of the ship. You watched as his visor tilted down an inch before returning to its original position, much like he had done in the club.

“I-I got into a minor scrap before the whole club incident, but it’s—it’s nothing to worry about,” you lied, stuttering through your pain and slowly getting back to work. You still had a few hours left of daylight that you fully intended on utilizing, but you also did not hear him leave. I guess this conversation isn’t over. you thought warily, pausing and glancing over in his direction. Sure enough, he was still there, watching you work silently. “Did you, uh, need anything?” you asked, pulling away from your work.

He did not respond, as expected, and you pursed your lips together, mumbling a resigned, “Okay,” before returning to your task. He continued to sit there and watch you for what felt like hours. The pressure you could feel under his watchful eyes only increased until he finally took his leave. As his boots thudded quietly down the ramp, whatever had been gripping your lungs finally let go.

A loud crash coming from the inside of the ship startled you awake. You had dozed off while working on the underside of the ship. You swore as you pushed yourself out from under the ship and shot up, hobbling to the back of the ship. You come to a stop at the bottom of the boarding ramp and looked around frantically for the source of the commotion.

“Bounty Hunter?” you called out before a flash of green catches your attention. In your sleep-deprived state, you had no time to react when something came tumbling down the ramp and slamming into your chest. Caught off balance, you tumbled backward and hit the ground hard, hissing as you felt the stitches pull and rip with the impact. Shit. Two now. you groaned inwardly.

The Mandalorian came rushing down the ramp and was by your side before you could see whatever knocked you over. He bent down, swiped the little green creature off your chest, and spun around, all in one fluid motion.

You managed to catch a quick glimpse of two big, green ears peeking up from behind his armored shoulder, but you remained silent as you watched his retreating form disappear into the ship. You had no choice but to lay there for a few moments, waiting for the pain to simmer down, before pushing yourself up with a groan and stumbling towards the dorms.

You could feel the warm wetness seep through the bandages and ruin yet another one of your work shirts. You struggled to lift it, trying to avoid agitating it further. Once the bottom of the shirt was bunched up and tucked in the crack of your armpit, you slowly unwrapped and peeled the now-soiled bandages from the wound. The skin around it was uncomfortably hot, and you feared that you might be at risk of infection. You turned your attention to the small med kit beside you before reaching your hand in and fishing for disinfectant, cursing yourself for not grabbing bacta gel.

“Minor scrap, huh?” you heard from the entrance to your room. There was a slight teasing to his tone now, and it irked you.

Exhaling with a little more force than necessary, you turned your head just enough to give him an unamused side-eye. He was leaning against the door frame, his chrome-armored arms crossed as he stared down at you. Was there ever a time when he did not have his arms crossed?

“I’m sorry, I’ll clean up after I deal with this,” you mumbled, too tired and lightheaded to put up a fight.

“That is a cut from a vibroblade,” he stated very matter-of-factly, pointing to your injured side. “I should have checked on you once we got here, but I was too busy dealing with your boss. I would have never noticed if you hadn’t left a concerning amount of blood in the dirt just now. If I would have known what condition you were really in, I would have—”

Never hired me?  bounced around your delirious skull, but you cut him off before those words could slip off his tongue, “I just want to leave,” you say quickly, looking up at him. “I’ve been trying to get off this planet for years now, and I’m as good as dead with my boss gone. Injuries like this,” you glanced back down at the gash, “are nothing compared to being killed.”

He shook his head and sighed before coming to stand beside you. “You did it wrong,” he remarked.

You blinked at him questioningly, catching the faintest hint of concern in his voice before the coldness set back in. His visor tilted down slightly, and your eyes followed it.

“The knots are loose, and the stitches are spaced too far apart,” he explained flatly, crouching down in front of you. “You also didn’t use the right thread. They’ll just keep tearing with this. I’m going to show you how to do this properly.”

You were too stunned to answer. That was the most you had heard come from him in the past few weeks, and now he was digging around in the medkit about to patch you up. You reached out to help him locate whatever he was looking for, but your attempt at assistance was met with him gently batting your hand away. You huffed petulantly but withdrew your hand all the same.

After finding the proper wire and needle, he patted the poor excuse for a cot that you had been sleeping on, indicating that you should lay back on it. You did so obediently, not having the will nor the energy to argue with the very blunt man. Your eyes were heavy, but you watched him pull off his leather gloves and sanitize his large, bronze hands. Fuck. Normally, you would be rather enticed by such hands; thinking of how they would feel against your bare skin or stroking your cheek. However, the ache in your side overruled such thoughts this time.

To distract yourself from the pain and possibly learn a lifesaving skill, you focused on the way he expertly threaded the little curved needle. They looked so strong and gentle now, but as he tugged up at the hem of your shirt, you suddenly remembered that these were the same hands that had singularly taken out the majority of the Golden Tears gang not long ago. The hands of a trained killer. you thought. He tugged again, but you remained motionless, too absorbed in your pain and thoughts to register what he was telling you to do.

Sighing heavily, he tugged a third time, a little harder this time to get your attention. “Take it off,” he said, sounding a little annoyed, “or I will.”

If the deep baritone of his voice had not gotten your attention first, the threat certainly would have; even more so than the tugging. Shaking yourself from your stupor, you gingerly eased your tattered shirt off, and you were glad that the bandeau you wore beneath was short enough to be out of his way.

He immediately began spraying your wound with an analgesic and antiseptic solution, ignoring your initial hiss of pain from the sting of the liquid and focusing on his task. Only when your wound was clean and completely numb did he carefully begin sewing you up. The jaggedness of the skin around the wound from busting so many previous stitches made his job that much more difficult, but he did it all without complaint. Instead, he opted to explain his process to you as you merely watched. His hands were steady and precise, and you began to question if he was secretly a droid again.

“I’m sorry I don’t have any bacta,” he apologized as he finished closing you back up, and sprayed more antiseptic on your wound for good measure. “I doubt you would have been in favor of me cauterizing it.”

Not a chance. Your eyes widened and you shook your head as he tossed the soiled needle and handed you a gauze patch to secure over the neat, clean stitches.

“I don’t mean to pry,” you began softly, “but what came flying down the ramp at me earlier?” You had been wondering about that for the past few minutes. You doubted that creature was another one of his quarries. If it were, he would not have been so gentle when handling it, and you did not see it while you were running the damage diagnostic either. Perhaps it was a pet of his? Or a companion?

He paused from repacking the medkit and tensed. His helmet moved just a fraction of an inch, and you could the pressure of his eyes on you again through his visor.

You pursed your lips together and nodded once. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you,” you whispered.

“He’s a companion of mine,” he mumbled, tucking the scissors and the spool of wiry thread back into the kit.

“Hmm.” Best not to pry any further. “Uh… tha-thank you again for helping me. You really didn’t have to do that,” you add softly as you wrapped your ribs with a fresh set of bandages. He only nodded in response before pulling his leather gloves back on and abruptly exiting the room.

You made sure to make a little extra food for him that night, wishing you had known about his companion sooner so you could have been doing that the whole time. You had not noticed any missing rations either, so you had to figure he was sharing his meals with it.

You crept up the ramp, like you often did, and silently made it over to the crate. However, before you could set the tray of steaming meat down, you heard the cockpit door slide open and the Mandalorian’s boots descending the ladder. A small wave of anxiety took hold of your heart as if you were about to be caught doing something you were not meant to be doing. You quickly backed up a few steps, being careful not to drop anything off the trays in your hands as he turned to face you.

“I, uh, I-I brought you some dinner,” you stammered out as he glanced down at the trays, “and I made a little extra for your companion, too.” He still did not respond, and you swallowed the lump in your throat as you watched the visor slide from one tray to the next. You did this for him every day and night, there was no reason for you to act like he caught you stealing from his ship. Did he think you were guilty until proven innocent or some shit? Maybe he was scanning you from behind that heavy mask and—

“Thank you,” he said softly, taking the trays from your shaking hands.

You nodded once as your lungs were still constricted by anxiety. You muttered a quick, “Y-yeah… of course,” as you turned on your heel and made for the exit.

“Hey, wait,” you heard him call out to you. Pausing cautiously, you turned back to face him. “I… hmm,” he glanced down at the trays as if their very existence troubled him. He stayed silent for a moment, and you began to think that perhaps you had imagined it, but then his visor locked back onto you, “I’m heading to Nevarro. There are people there I have to meet with—good people who could help you out.” The words fell out of the modulator heavily, sounding foreign to both you and the mouth they were coming from.

You inclined your head, turning your body so you could properly face him before crossing your arms nervously over your chest. Your mind raced with the possibility of finally leaving this wretched planet. You tried to think of how far away Nevarro was before he spoke again.

“The original terms of our agreement were that I’d pay for your services with credits,” he said, finally setting the trays down and shifting his weight from one side to another. “But upon further deliberation, I have a counteroffer: you can accompany me to Nevarro and I’ll introduce you to my associates, from there, you can decide what you want to do.”

You felt your arms drop down to your sides as your eyes widened in surprise. The offer he just presented to you was far better than the original by a landslide. Not only would you have a guaranteed ride off this hell hole, but you would also have an actual destination and purpose.

“You can still take the credits instead if that’s what you want.”

You shook your head to clear the shock. “Thank you! I’ll take the ride if that’s all right,” you finally answered, despite having already made up your mind the second the option was given. He nodded, turning towards the ladder, but halting once his foot hits the first rung.

“Thank you for dinner,” he said softly from over his shoulder before continuing his ascent up the latter, somehow managing to carry both trays up with one arm.

You stared at the bottom of the ladder for a few moments before a smile spread across your face. Freedom. The word rang like a bell in your mind. You let yourself just stand there, smiling stupidly with the prospect ahead of you. You happily twirled on your way out of the ship and powerwalked back to the mess hall, not caring that your food had probably gone cold.

#mandalorian din djarin #mandalorian #the mandalorian #din djarin #star wars #mandolorian fan fic #mando x reader #din djarin x reader #mandalorian x reader #din djarin x you

[cloverthirteen]

unsorted (and spoilery) mario movie thoughts under the cut since I saw it today

first to get it out of the way: critics apparently complained about the plot being too simple and straightforward, none of the characters changed that much, too much stuff being thrown at you and too many references...it's a mario movie. this is basically what the plots of the games are. if anything these things helped the movie by making feel more like the games!

for my personal issues: first half of the film goes at an absolute breakneck pace and luigi doesn't get to do nearly enough. mario and luigi also spend way too much time apart :(

otherwise, though, THIS MOVIE IS AMAZING. it was clearly made by fans and caters directly to fans, the amount of easter eggs and references is enormous.

THE MUSIC. nearly all of it is BEAUTIFUL orchestral versions of songs from the series and it's everywhere and in the most unexpected places. underground theme in the sewers, bowser's castle theme as his fortress is approaching, super mario 3 athletic theme (I think?) when mario gets the tanooki suit, mario kart menu music in the kart garage, LUIGI'S MANSION MELODY WHEN LUIGI FIRST ENTERS BOWSER'S KINGDOM? I am kissing all of the orchestra members and composers DIRECTLY on the mouth for their work. and if we're talking about music...

DK RAP BABY!!!!! the crowd loves that guy! they even name-drop diddy kong during the scene!

there are also a few pop songs in the movie, though take on me during the introduction to the jungle kingdom is the only one that felt really out of place

the bros' path to their first job being a recreation of world 1-1 complete with a castle-like building at the end...that scene was totally there to show off but it's very neat

MARIO AND LUIGI ARE BEST BROS...mario gets to protect luigi from insults and luigi gets to say that any princess with good taste would be into mario...their relationship is the BEST and I'm so sad we didn't get to see them directly interacting more...

somehow I wasn't expecting bowser's plan being to marry peach since it was left out of the trailers...but it's hilarious seeing bowser plan it all out and they even got bowser's and peach's wedding outfits from odyssey, so it was perfect

I was a bit worried that they would lean too hard on peach being a do-anything Girlboss™ but while she's tough she's clearly got her kind side too! protecting her people is her biggest concern and it's even exploited by bowser!

bowser gets to sing a love song for peach with bisexual lighting and everything. you can tell jack black was having the time of his life

speaking of the voice cast, they all did really well! I didn't have many doubts as a whole but even chris pratt was great as mario. didn't think I'd ever write that sentence but it's true

kamek was such a proud dad to bowser despite his limited screentime. love it

I'm not sure why spike was part of the initial advertised voice cast because he's barely in the movie lol

out of all the powerups I expected to return, I was not expecting the mini mushroom and ice flower, but they were incorporated very well!

other things I didn't really expect: mario and dk having a rivalry that builds into a friendship was cute. also they straight up get swallowed by the mario 64 eel

princess peach backstory?????? at least in the movie canon she isn't from the mushroom kingdom and just arrived via warp pipe from...somewhere as a baby. also using the baby versions of peach and the bros for flashbacks is incredibly cheesy but also cute in its own way

there were surprisingly few cringeworthy or self aware jokes and no awkward overly long gags, which must be some kind of first for illumination based on what I remember

the animation was spectacular as expected. rainbow road looks fucking gorgeous and the character animation was fun to watch

no really romantic moments between mario and peach unfortunately, though we did get a lot of very nice interactions between the two overall so I hope they build on their relationship in a potential sequel

so yeah...it's good and very fun. go see it if you haven't already!!

#super mario #mario movie #clover talks

[juantheashura]

Hey there! I've finally played chapter 5 of your game and well... It also happens this was my first replay after whatever overhaul happened in the prologue. I guess after all of this, I have a few questions, if you don't mind. I'm sorry, it's a bit of a long ask.

I never really thought of that in my prior replays, but this time around I started wondering if Lat always has a crush on the MC? As in, no matter if she's romanced or not, AND even if the MC is on a romantic path with someone else (since I know she confesses in Japan if that's not the case). I know depending on the author, some prefer to make these things established truths (in which case she'd simply not say anything if she sees the MC likes someone else, basically), and others prefer "conditional truths" that depend on a specific "world state" in any given playthrough. Another one is about the whole Ignis and Seeker thing. I've seen so many asks about how things pan out for Ignis romancing MCs and possible reactions to the break up etc. But I'm curious about the very opposite actually. For a MC who isn't at all interested in Ignis that way, is it possible to actively "support" them? Like, not exactly matchmaking cause that would be overstepping and weird. But being supportive in regards to that relationship or possible related issues, if the opportunity presents itself, as a friend? For either one of them, obviously. I really liked how Ignis tentatively opened up a bit to the MC in the hot springs, and now I'm craving more haha. Also well… I guess that as much as I love Mars, my heart will still go to Forlorn, forever. I guess I'll never let go of the hope of him becoming a possible RO in the far future, no matter if I'm delusional (I'm not trying to pressure you into that! Just coping here haha). But well, the actual question is: will we actually get the opportunity to have the MC crush on him, even if he never gets added as a RO? I guess the question could apply to Seeker too, now that I think of it. My reasoning is that Ignis is literally a RO despite the fact a romance with her will always be cut short as she'll choose someone else. Since such a thing is possible, I'm curious about the possibility of an unrequited crush on one of the guys, basically. And last, a bit of an unrelated question (or well, not really, since it's romance related), but the Other calling some of the members of the teams as its "dregs" in one of the dreams made me wonder… Does that entity care about the MC getting really close to someone else? Be it romantically or a very deep friendship. And if they do, would they be critical of said person being one of the "dregs"? I'm curious cause well, with Mars being my chosen RO… The entity seems "obsessed" with the MC getting stronger and all, and I'm wondering if it would consider the MC getting close to one of them "drags them down". Okay, I'm sorry for the amount of questions! I took a huge break from a lot of things online and now I have to make up for it! Questions aside, I must say I loved chapter 5! It was so tense and amazing, and I was so so proud of Lat for how well she did during it! I love seeing my MC getting stronger, but I also love to see how Lat progresses! She may not be a character I'm interested in in terms of romance, but damn I love her so much! Aaand I feel so bad for Mars because of the shit that went down during the closing scenes of the chapter. Poor guy can't take a break with the super senses... I hope an opportunity will present itself for the MC to bring him some comfort after all of that...

Hello! Sorry it took me so long to answer, I've been... occupied, to say the least, this past month. And don't ever apologize about long asks! Those are my favorites, I love both talking about the cast/setting and that anyone might be so interested in them to dedicate their time to sending them in. :')

1st: Yes, Lat always has a crush on the MC. This is canon. It's not crazy "I've been in love with you forever, MC" tier or anything, but she is pining for them. I had plans for her to act on it if you're romancing Ignis, since, as you can see in her confession scene, she can tell Ignis isn't good for the MC, but it's been... a little tiring trying to get through that convo. That said, if the MC gets involved with anyone else, she's willing to take the loss. The MC's happy, and she does think the rest of the cast would be good for them.

One thing I am considering is adding a poly route for Aki x Lat x MC in Book 2 (or at the end of Book 1), but I haven't decided on it yet. It would be pretty cute though, the three of them are tied very closely together.

2nd: I've always had plans for a non-Ignismancer to have at least some choices to prod Ignis and Seeker about their obvious relationship. You kind of get this already with Chapter 4, as you've mentioned, where you can ask what's going on with them. The biggest point where you'll get to do something like that is Chapter 8, which is about Ignis's birthday party. Seeker organizes it basically on his own, and the MC will definitely be allowed to have thoughts™️ on that!

3rd: I've not worked out the very specifics of the MC and Forlorn's relationship in Book 2 (and beyond) yet, so I can't confirm one way or the other whether I'll have a crush happen. That said, Book 2 is going to have a lot more Forlorn content, and a lot of it will give the MC the chance to be the very obvious support pillar that the PTSD-riddled, half broken man needs. So even if you don't get to smooch (or think about smooching!) him, your relationship will definitely offer a chance to become much deeper, deeper than any he has at this moment.

4th: No, you don't have to worry about Other MC's thoughts on the League's strength tiers to matter in your relationships. As far as they're concerned, "salvation is individual", so Mars's (or Nova, or Aki's, or anyone's) personal strength doesn't matter to them- their only concern is your own. They may do some one snarky one liners once or twice, but if anything, the fact that the MC also has a personal reason to listen to them to get strong is something they're happy about.

Anyway, thanks a lot for all the compliments! I'm very happy to hear you enjoyed Chapter 5- it was honestly one I was very worried about since I have littme experience writing combat. I'm happy you enjoyed Lat's parts (and felt for poor Mars!) as well.

#a tale of heroes #ask me anything #anon ask #wip ask #long asks are cool with me!! #ro asks

[pansyfemme]

oh man your tags on your previous post. I am also binary in a atypical way; both binaries for the price of one in my case (bigender) and while many consider themselves nonbinary along with that label, I… vehemently do not. ough the amount of. conversations I’ve needed to have with people about they/theming binary trans people and/or people who explicitly do not use they/them. I am not “nonbinary” or a “they/them” because I do not perform gender conformity well enough. gnc-ness or gender subversion in general is not a negation of gender identity. sending you luck out there

thank you, it's really nice to hear from someone feeling similarly. I've had a number of strange discussions about gender, and honestly i can't always tell you where i lie. the way i think of it, i'm male. 1000% male. but tbh. i cannot tell you my "male" and a cis guys "male" is the same. or that my "male" is the same as other trans guys I know. but yknow. while i doubt my gender belongs on the cisnormative idea of a gender binary- i think its probably not what people are expecting as a binary "male" gender- it's male to me, and so i identify as somewhere in the world between binary and not, if you really want to get deep about it. either way tho. if you ask me, im a guy, a binary guy. whether that binary is binary or not.

I'm never really sure why i started the whole gnc thing. To me, it's "crossdressing" but i don't use that word a lot bc it confuses people. I'm not always trying to look like a woman, but it is a bit of a performance for me, i do get a bit of a thrill out of being a spectacle, of being unidentifiable as a man or a woman. And as such, i don't really mind what strangers call me. I get a bit pissed when im fully in boy clothes with my facial hair out and get called a lady, but yknow. whatever. maybe they just thought i was a really cool butch, im fine with that. I'm proud of being a femme, of being a gay dude. I like when im seen as such, but i can't exactly pick and choose how people see me when im purposly blurring the lines. I used to wear my pronouns on my mask back at the beginning of the pandemic, when i first got back into wearing skirts, but that only worked abt 50% of the time. plus, women's bathrooms are cleaner, even if it does terrify me to go into either gendered toilet.

The issue though- arises is that publically, to those who know me, to my classmates, my professors, my friends- my gender isn't ambigious. I am very, extremly clear about my pronouns and my gender, i say it a lot, too much, honestly. But still, they/them is the most commonly used pronoun set for me, despite me being vocal that i use exclusivly he/him. It's not a secret, it is easily found, accesible information. if someone does ask me my pronouns, i don't mind even. at least then, i can make sure that they know them. but no matter what i do, i'm still referred to neutrally. It's not as bad as being called she/her, but it is a bit of a sting to the heart. I'm not a masc guy, i don't care if im "manly enough" to prove im a guy, i just have the simple hope that if i give people clear instructions on how to not make me feel like shit, they will follow them. I know people aren't trying to be malicious, people make assumptions about gender all the time. The fact that i 'pass as nonbinary' without even trying would be a lifetime achievment for other trans people i know. But the reality is, i'm not other trans people- i am just a dude with a 'typical' gender who does things in an 'atypical' way.

The one thing that has come of a lot of this, as my body became more masculine and my clothes more feminine, is that I have found a few people who didn't know my agab. They weren't surprised i'm trans, but i doubt they'd be either if i said i was a cis dude. It's just become that kind of way. I don't claim to pass as cis normally, im not trying to do that or particurally instrested in the ability to do so outside of casual situations and when it might be in my best intrest to try and do so. But the reality is, a lot of people see me, see my beard and my flat chest, my skirts and my longer hair, and they aren't able to catogorize me. And when i say im a boy, they are so confused about why a boy would be wearing what i do to even consider i might not actually have a dick. It's a funny thing.

i dont really know what to say. honestly its like. just up and down. i have no plans to stop presenting the way i do or calling myself the words i do, but i do think about it a lot. I do think about how people view me.

[one-abuse-survivor]

Ice Anon - in my house negative emotions aren't really a thing, ever since I was young anger and fear were discouraged, and sadness was to a slightly lesser extent. My dad has anger issues, yet I was always told to just let go of anger and to make sure I don't go to sleep angry. When sad I was sometimes told to just get over it. Fear was said to be something we should never feel. I hardly express these emotions anymore, and when I do it's often in private. I usually cry only once every 9 months.

I was sometimes told by my dad that he'd "give me something to cry about" while I was crying. Nowadays I kinda see myself as weak whenever I cry, despite knowing it's a normal human thing and would never say that about someone else.

When I'm angry I try to hide it, and bottle it inside cause anger isn't the answer (or so I've been told). It can cause me to lash out when it gets to be too much, and then I sometimes get in trouble for lashing out cause it's not right. Whenever I'm angry while I do sometimes feel right in anger, other times I feel like the bad guy for being mad. Especially when it is something minor

Fear is not really accepted by my father, almost every time I express fear he will say, "God did not give us a spirit of fear". And how am I supposed to express that emotion when that's always the response?? I remember one time my dad asked me if I was scared of him, and got mad when I very hesitantly nodded. He doesn't remember this, but I do. Fear is seen as something we should not feel under almost any circumstance. Only exception is when I'm in almost immediate danger, which doesn't really happen often.

I'm trying to change how I perceive these emotions in myself, but it's so hard.

Nonnie, I want you to know I'm so proud of you for trying to change the way you perceive these emotions. And I hope you're proud of yourself as well. When you're conditioned all your life to reject, suppress, bottle up, and punish yourself for feeling certain emotions, and when you're punished and mocked and lectured after expressing them, it's only natural to develop unhealthy ways of dealing with them. It's not just natural—it's survival. And it takes a lot of effort and re-conditioning to get to a point where you can manage these emotions in a healthy way. Just the fact you've recognised that their toxic and abusive upbringing has affected how you handle these emotions is something to be really proud of.

Please remember to be kind with yourself if you don't manage to change your perception about your own emotions as much as you'd like to. It can take many years to get to that point, and that's with therapy and while being at a safe distance from your parents. If you still live with them and have no (or little) outside/professional support, you shouldn't put the pressure of completely overcoming this struggle on yourself, because that can result in punishing yourself when you don't see the progress you were expecting, and you don't deserve to hurt yourself that way.

So try to celebrate every little step forward and be gentle with yourself when it feels like you're going backwards, nonnie. You deserve your kindness and patience throughout this.

Sending a big virtual hug ❤️

#Ask #Ice anon #Emotional neglect tw #Emotional neglect #Toxic family #Emotional abuse tw #Abusive father #Religious abuse tw #Therapy mention

[lyssismagical]

i know how much it matters to you

@friendly-neighborhood-exchange for @call-me-coley !!!

Irondad Fic Exchange for Call-Me-Coley !! Sorry it's so so late, life got in the way I'm very sorry, hope you enjoy anyway!!

Peter Calls Tony “Dad” & Avengers Think Peter is Tony's Son

Hurt/Comfort

TW: None idk daddy issues, arguing, swearing a little, miscommunications

It’s a miscommunication.

Somewhere along the lines, Peter started thinking of Tony as his… father-figure. It’s not his fault, really, it’s Tony’s. Why would he do things like check over his homework, take him out for ice cream, invite him to stay at the tower every other weekend for takeout and movie nights, if he didn’t want to be thought of like that.

He’s over at the tower for one of his weekends, for father-son bonding as May had said when he’d said Tony wanted to watch Scream that night, but it would be the fourth weekend in a row in which he lost to Peter’s movie suggestion.

Nothing’s out of the ordinary. They’re eating pizza on the couch, Peter’s already in his pajamas, Ferris Bueller is playing on the TV – Peter had originally suggested Clueless but Pepper couldn’t join them until the second movie and she wanted to see that one with them – and Peter’s rambling about his and Ned’s most recent Lego set they’d completed. It’s the perfect Movie Night.

And then Captain America steps out of the elevator.

Of course, Peter knew that Tony was talking to Steve, trying to mend their mistakes. He even knew that there was supposed to be a meeting on Monday. Tony hadn’t wanted to keep it from Peter, despite wanting to keep him out of it.

Tony straightens, setting his slice of pizza down in the box. Within a fraction of a second, his expression goes from the soft, proud, happiness he’d had looking at the photos Peter had taken of Ned and their Lego, to calm, cool and collected.

Peter isn’t so graceful, fumbling for the remote to pause the movie and running a hand through his hair, further mussing his curls, eyes going unbelievably wide like a deer caught in the headlights.

Captain America looks just as flustered which makes Peter feel just a fraction better.

“I’m sorry, this is a bad time,” Steve says slowly.

“It’s okay!” Peter says, tugging his sleeves over his hands. “I can go to my room for a bit and you guys can talk, it’s okay, I’ve seen this movie like a thousand times before and I was more excited about Clueless, anyway, and Pepper won’t be back for another hour. I should probably call Ned, too, so we can talk about the upcoming English presentation.”

Tony catches his elbow as he goes to stand up. “You sure, kid? This is your weekend.”

Peter looks over Tony’s expression carefully, trying to find any hint of desperation, a reason to kick Steve out, but all he finds is an apologetic calm.

“It’s fine, really.” He tries for a smile. “Is it cool if I take…”

He trails off, one hand gesturing awkwardly at the pizza box.

Tony huffs out a laugh. “I might be a billionaire but you’re going to eat me out of house and home, kid.”

Peter pouts childishly. “I’m a growing teenager.”

“Take it, go, we won’t be more than half an hour, promise.”

He hops to his feet, picking up his phone and pizza box. He turns to the captain. “FRIDAY’s listening, so if you say something stupid, I will kick your ass.”

Steve doesn’t know he’s Spider-Man, but his eyes go wide, like he really is scared of a scrawny teenage boy hurting him. “Sure thing, son.”

It’s not his fault that he overhears. It’s not his fault that he has superhearing. It’s not his fault that Steve doesn’t know that.

So, around the corner and halfway down the hall, he hears Steve say, “How old is he?”

Peter freezes, fearing he’d been caught in his Spider-Man secret, but Tony’s voice give away any nerves. “Sixteen.”

“Wow,” Steve says. “How long have you…”

“Just over a year.”

“You didn’t say that you had a kid.”

Tony chokes. “I- What?”

“A kid. He was yours, right?”

“No!” Tony gasps. “God, no. It’s not- He’s not- I… He’s an intern, that’s all.”

Peter’s chest tightens. That’s all.

And as though he hasn’t already dug himself a hole, Tony keeps going, “You think I could be parent, Cap? That’s funny. I don’t want kids, never have, never will.”

God, he sounds like it would be the worst thing under the sun to be Peter’s dad. He’s been kidnapped, tortured, nearly killed time and time again, and yet he makes it sound like being Peter’s dad would be worse than all of that.

Peter closes himself in his room before he can hear anymore. He shouldn’t have assumed Tony would want to be thought of that way, it’s clear he blew things out of proportion, he’s just an intern, a superhero-in-training, a liability. He knew that from the start, he just figured with how much their relationship has grown, maybe there would be the possibility for more.

A liability. An intern. That’s all.

*

“Hey, kid, sorry about that, there’s going to be a proper Avengers meeting tomorrow and Cap had some questions, but it’s all been sorted. Pepper should be back in- Hey, you okay? You’re looking a little pale.”

“I think I might turn in early, if that’s okay. I’m really tired.”

Tony frowns, hands twisting. “What’s going on, kid? Was it Steve? I know it’s weird for him to-”

“It’s not him! I’m just not feeling well. I think I ate too fast.”

Tony doesn’t look convinced but he nods anyway. “Okay, Roo, but if you need anything or if there’s something on your mind, you know where to find me, okay?”

And for a moment, he can picture it. Picture Tony actually thinking of him as his kid, like he’s family. Picture Tony coming to parent-teacher nights at Midtown, being proud of Peter’s half-decent grades and Academic Decathlon standing, boasting to the other parents that his kid is going to go far.

But he remembers the disgust in Tony’s voice at the thought of being Peter’s dad, and his shoulders curl in a little further.

“Yeah, of course. I’ll see you in the morning. Night.”

He turns away before Tony can saying anything more. He’s a bad liar and every second talking to him is another second Tony gets closer to finding out the truth. If anything could ruin their precarious relationship, it’s Tony finding out how Peter feels about him.

*

“I don’t need a father figure!” Peter says, mid-rant to Ned the next day. He needed an excuse not to spend time with Tony all day, so he invited Ned and MJ out for coffee. He had spent the whole night tossing and turning, unable to stop thinking about what Tony said, how he said it, what that meant.

Ned coughs to try and cover his laugh, and Peter pouts at him.

“You have massive daddy issues, Peter,” MJ says with a nonchalant shrug. “I say that from a place of love as someone with similar mommy issues.”

“That doesn’t mean I should drag Mister Stark into my problems.”

“I still can’t believe he said that!” Ned gasps. “Say it again, word-for-word.”

“He said I hate kids, I would never be a parent, especially not to Peter.”

Ned and MJ roll their eyes in sync, they’ve both been around Peter long enough to have identical reactions to his behaviour. Peter huffs into his hot chocolate.

“Peter, dude, listen, you’re completely blowing it out of proportion. He probably only said that because Captain America was there. You can’t say that you haven’t lied because you’re flustered.”

Peter huffs again. “I don’t need a father figure! I don’t need him to be anything more than he’s already been for me. He’s Tony Stark. And I’m, you know, me.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Ned says. MJ’s drawn a tic-tac-toe board on her napkin, he has no idea where she got a pen from, and she’s passing it to Ned.

“I’m… I’m a nobody. Without the mask, I’m just a kid with good grades and no money and who gets bullied by a kid with the name Flash.”

MJ rolls her eyes again. She’s winning the game of tic-tac-toe. “I’m not here to listen to you fish for compliments.”

“I’m not!” Peter whines. “I just need to know how to stop thinking of him as anything more than a begrudging mentor.”

“You can’t,” she deadpans. She finally looks up from the tic-tac-toe game she’s won. “He wouldn’t have personalized a room for you down the hall from his own if he didn’t want you around. If he were just putting up with you, annoyed with the liability, he wouldn’t be your friend, he’d be like a manager.”

Peter finishes off his hot chocolate. “He’s going to be at an Avengers meeting tonight so I have a while to mull it over, I guess.”

“Dude! You’re an Avenger!”

Peter freezes. Oh shit.

*

“You’re freaking out.”

“I’m not freaking out.”

Tony levels him with a disbelieving look, straightening his own tie before turning back to Peter. “You’re just going to be there as my intern who helps with Avengers weaponry and other things, so that’s why you’re there. You can offer drinks, you can’t drink anything with alcohol and you’re limited to one carbonated drink, you can snack all you want but if you’re uncomfortable, I will be ordering take-out after it’s all done. I just want you there so you can hear what’s discussed, there’s no pressure to tell the team about your identity.”

“That’s not why I’m nervous.” He doesn’t mean to say it, but he doesn’t want Tony to ramble about accommodations for the party.

“What’s making you nervous?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing?”

Peter blurts, “I’m a big fan of Doctor Banner’s work and I want to make a good impression.”

Tony lifts an unimpressed eyebrow. “Right.”

“I’m serious! He’s my second biggest idol.”

Tony’s mouth twitches. “Second?”

Before Peter has to face that embarrassment, Pepper knocks on the door. “Time to face the music, boys.”

Peter trails behind as Tony marches down a floor and into the conference room where the Avengers have congregated. Peter doesn’t have any fancy clothing and it was on short notice so Tony didn’t have time to get anything altered for him, so he’s wearing jeans with rips in the knees, a t-shirt that he tie-dyed when he was in middle school for Ned’s sister’s birthday party that’s a little too short for him to still be wearing, with his duct-taped sneakers. In comparison to Tony with one of his fanciest suits, Peter looks like a stray he picked up off the streets. The nerves seem to have overridden the exhaustion so he’s halfway to bouncing off the walls.

Peter knows they’ve seen each other in person since the incident but it still feels weird to see them all acting like friends and not like a high school reunion.

Eventually, conversation turns to him.

“This is my personal intern, Peter. He helps with Avengers tech, so he’s just here to learn who he’s making tech for, that’s all.”

That’s all.

And he knows Tony doesn’t mean it in a malicious way, but it feels like he’s been stabbed – and he would know, he gets stabbed just about every other week. He keeps his face as neutral as he can and he shifts nervously from foot to foot, one of his shoes squeaking.

He lifts a hand as a wave and his wrist trembles noticeably and when he shifts back on his feet, the duct tape holding the bottom of right shoe on peels a little. It’s entirely a reflex to lift his foot up to put the tape back in place and then everyone’s staring at him with wide eyes because his shoes are held together with tape.

“It’s, um, an honor to meet you guys.”

“How old are you?” Black Widow asks, narrowing her eyes at him.

“My friend’s a big fan of yours. Well, half-friend. I think. And I think she’s a fan. She’s very confusing when it comes to that kind of thing,” Peter says instead. He’s so nervous, fuck. He tries for a smile. “I’m sixteen.”

Natasha looks at Tony. “Tony Stark doesn’t have personal interns.”

“Well now I do. Anyway-”

“Did you know while this whole mess was going on?”

Steve shakes his head. “There’s no way.”

“Really? He just found out?”

“It’s a sensitive topic apparently.”

“Why would he bring him in here if it was sensitive?”

Natasha and Steve seem like they’re ready to discuss Tony and Peter’s relationship in front of them for as long as their hearts desire and Tony’s just watching, completely unamused but quiet, so Peter rolls his eyes and says, “He’s not my dad. I’m just his intern. That’s all.”

Tony frowns, turning on him. “What’s with the tone?”

“I was just stating a fact. I’m your intern, I’m not your kid, that’s all.” He fights to keep his face impassive.

“Listen, son,” Steve starts in his high and mighty tone.

“I’m not your kid either!” If Peter knew he’d start raising his voice at Captain America, he would’ve found a way out of this. He tries to shake off his anger, but it’s the only thing protecting him from being upset and he doesn’t know what he’ll do if he cries over this.

“Woah, okay, kid, let’s go,” Tony says, taking Peter by the shoulder and guiding him from the room. Peter goes willingly, pouting at the floor as he goes.

They go into a separate conference-type room, something like a living room except there’s a bunch of small targets scattered around the room. A few has arrows in them, all bullseyes.

“What’s going on with you?”

“Nothing’s going on with me.” He gets defensive so much faster than he wishes he had, arms crossed over his chest and eyes stubbornly stuck on the floor. “I’m just a little tired.”

“Bullshit.”

“Nothing’s going on,” Peter repeats resolutely. He lifts his foot to reattach the duct tape again, he’s going to have to redo the duct tape eventually.

Tony frowns at his shoes. “Will you let me buy you a new pair? Jeez, kid, how long have you had those?”

The truth is, probably three or four years now, but he’s not about to tell Tony that.

“I don’t need your money.”

“That’s not what I… Is that what this is about?”

“What?”

“Money. I can pay you for your internship, you know. I can figure out the paperwork with Pepper. You spend so much time here working anyways, you might as well get paid for it.”

Peter’s jaw drops open. If he were just putting up with you, annoyed with the liability, he wouldn’t be your friend, he’d be like a manager.

“I’m not your employee!” Peter practically shouts. He doesn’t want to be upset about this, but every word out of Tony’s mouth just seems to make it worse. “I don’t want to be your employee.”

“I’ll be honest, I’m unbelievably lost right now, kid.” Tony does look genuinely upset and frustrated by his own confusion, and Peter would feel bad if it weren’t for the fact that Tony should understand, should see why his nonchalance to their relationship hurts him so much.

Peter crosses his arms, pouting down at the floor. “I’m not going to spell it out for you. If you don’t understand why I’m upset then clearly we’re nowhere near the same page and that’s my fault. I’m sorry.”

“Kid, listen, clearly something about me calling you my intern is upsetting you, but I don’t see why. You are my intern, aren’t you? I wasn’t about to tell the Avengers you’re in the Avengers Little League without your permission. What else was I supposed to say? That you’re just some kid?”

“Some kid,” Peter repeats. He swallows thickly, heart so heavy in his chest. “I’m just some kid to you?”

“You’re… I don’t know, Pete. You’re Spider-Man. I’m your mentor, isn’t that what I said? You’re my padawan, my ward.”

“I’m your responsibility,” Peter says. “I’m your liability.”

Tony frowns, eyebrows knitting together and forehead creasing. “That’s not what I said.”

“But it’s what you meant. I’m just… Some kid and I get it. I’m sorry for making this into more than what it was and being upset when it wasn’t. I’m just some kid. I’m just. Without the mask, I’m just nothing. And I get it.”

“Where the hell is this coming from?”

Peter takes a deep breath and adjusts the webshooters on his wrists. “Nothing. Nowhere. I’m fine. I just- I’m going to ditch the rest of the meeting. I don’t want to ruin this whole reuniting moment of the Avengers. Not when I’m just some kid. I’ll see you later.”

Peter tries to push past him, ready to change into his suit and disappear before Tony can put the pieces together, but the older superhero grabs him by the elbow, stopping in his tracks.

“Peter, kid, you’re not just anything. I don’t know where you got it in your head that you’re nothing without the mask, but it’s not true. Is this about the jackass from school?”

“It’s not about Flash! It’s about you!” Peter says, letting out a breath. Even if he’s completely wrong about their relationship, the least he can do is explain why. It would be cruel to leave him in the dark if this is it, if this is what ruins everything between them. Tony’s not exactly a stable person, he’d overthink and destroy his mentality and esteem if Peter didn’t explain. He can’t do that. He shakes his head, pulling away from Tony’s hand. “It’s about you.”

“I need you to spell it out, Roo. I’m so confused. And I’m a genius.”

Peter cracks a sad smile before letting it drop. “When this started, I was just a liability. I was a dumb kid and you needed me for the fight in Germany and then you didn’t have a choice but to look out for me. But why take me out for ice cream and celebrate good grades and help me study for tests and have me over for the weekends and make a room for me and have movie nights together? Why do all that if I wasn’t…”

“Oh.”

One syllable and Peter knows it’s over. It’s done. He’ll have to say his goodbyes to his third father-figure. He’ll lose everything again.

Will Tony still let him use the lab to repair his suit? Will Tony still come save him if he finds himself bleeding out in an alleyway? Will Tony still write the letter of recommendation for MIT? Will he let Peter keep the suit? Will Peter lose everyone else too? The Avengers? Happy? Pepper? Karen?

“I’m sorry,” Peter says, crossing his arms over his body protectively, like giving himself a hug. “I just…”

“It’s not your fault, kid. It’s complicated.” Tony’s frowning in that way he did when he found out about the collapsed warehouse.

“You don’t want kids, you don’t see me that way, and I get it. If there’s anyway we could still be, you know, mentor and padawan as you put it, then I’ll forget about it, and if not… I get it. I can pack up the stuff I’ve left around here and get lost.”

“No! God, no, kid, that’s not what I want at all, either of those.” Tony huffs out another sigh. He sits in one of the chairs, head in his hands for a few moments. Finally, he looks up. “You are my kid, Peter. I just can’t be your dad.”

Peter frowns in confusion. “Why not?”

“It’s complicated?”

“Daddy issues?”

Tony laughs, shoulders relaxing a fraction. “Something like that, yeah.”

“You’re talking to the King of Daddy Issues, so if anyone would understand, it would be me.”

“My father wasn’t exactly a good person, Roo,” Tony explains quietly. “What’s considered a father to me is very different to what you’d consider a father. I’m… I don’t want to be him. If I consciously take on that role in your life, I’m scared I’ll turn into him without realizing it and you’re too good of a kid to go through something like that.”

Peter shakes his head emphatically. “You could never be him, Mister Stark.”

“You don’t know that. You’ve had some incredible parental figures in your life so far, kid, and there’s no way I could ever live up to them. I don’t know how to be a parent. I don’t know how to do the right things or be a role model or take care of myself let alone you.”

Peter laughs and then immediately feels bad for laughing. “Even if you didn’t think you were, you’ve been acting like a father-figure to me for months now. And not to feed into your ego anymore, but you’ve been doing a good job.”

“Yeah?”

Peter’s never seen him quite so insecure before.

“Yeah. Last week, you picked me up from school, listened to me ramble about everything and actually listened, bought fast food and ice cream, let me eat it in your crazy expensive car, helped me with my history homework, let me pick the movies for movie night, and let me put my cold feet under your leg. I don’t know how much more you think you need to do to be considered a good dad.”

Tony smiles softly. “It’s not hard when I have such a good kid.”

Peter laughs for a beat and then his smile drops and he swallows thickly, a wave of shame washing over him. “I’m really sorry for freaking out.”

“It’s okay.”

“No, it’s- Daddy Issues, you know?”

“I do know, kid,” Tony says, another sad smile on his face, eyes somewhere far away. “And, listen, I need you to promise me that if I ever do something stupid like I did before, if I’m ever a jackass or oblivious or careless, I need you to just communicate with me. I’m clearly not very good with emotions and I’m new to this whole thing, so just talk to me, tell me what’s going on in that big brain of yours.”

“I will. And if you ever do anything stupid and don’t fix it, you’ll have both May and Pepper to deal with, so if that doesn’t keep you in line, you’re a lost cause.”

Tony winces dramatically. “God, kid, you have a lot of scary parents on your side.”

There’s a knock on the door and Pepper’s standing in the doorway, smiling fondly at them. “You boys ready to return to the meeting?”

“Ready,” Tony says.

They stand and Tony slings his arm around Peter’s shoulders, pressing a kiss to his head. They follow Pepper back down the hall to the conference room where the Avengers are lounging.

Nat grins when she sees them. “Was I right?”

“You were right,” Tony says, ruffling Peter’s curls who smiles shyly. “My kid.”

#lyss writes #the friendly neighborhood fic exchange #friendly neighborhood exchange #irondad #spiderman #irondad fic #tony stark #peter parker #michelle jons #ned leeds #natasha romanoff #black widow #steve rogers #captain america #pepper potts #irondad and spiderson

[flamingo-writes]

It's Better When The Sun Goes Down — Nanami x Reader

This is a piece for the Anilysium Server NSFW Collab! Make sure to check the masterlist to see other writer's works! This month's prompt was: "I can't hold back anymore"

I'd like to dedicate this fanfic to one of my dearest and closest friends. I'm not a Nanami simp myself, but they are. And I have fun writing for Nanami, and also I love writing angsty things and flawed characters. Reg, I hope you enjoy this as much as you enjoy my more casual writing.

(it's pink bcs youre Chancho)

Word Count: 5.4K

Warnings: Mentions of breakup and heartbreak, alcohol and drug consuption, public sex, ghosting, lots and lots of angst. This does not have a happy ending. This is also non proof read bcs I kinda left it to the last minute I'm sorry, I'll go back and edit it when I am not in a rush dcj nd

Summary: Nanami’s return to the Sorcerer life wasn’t so bad. It could be better if Gojo wasn’t determined to get him back with his ex. As Nanami tries to get on good terms with them, things get out of control, only to end up where it all began.

I made this playlist while writing, in case you wanna listen to it while reading. Preferably listen to it without the shuffle, but you can hear it on shuffle, no biggie.

Nanami had forgotten how painfully unbearable Gojo could be. His return as a Sorcerer had been nothing out of the ordinary for a Sorcerer's standards. Missions here and there, or watching over some of Gojo's students. But God, he had surely stepped out of the line this time.

He couldn't even begin to explain how much he hated his current situation. Fighting by your side for the first time in years felt like rubbing hot oil on an open wound. The uncomfortable ignoring the elephant in the room between you two, as you two tracked and fought what felt like a million Curses.

When the adrenaline was at its peak, it felt almost nostalgic; though he'd then remembered everything else and immediately made his own reality bitter and awkward. Overshadowed by the advantage of years of experience ahead of him made him resent you even more. He knew it was childish and pointless to keep remembering everything that happened between you two, but that bittersweet memory would most likely keep him at bay.

You were still strong, witty, fearless, reckless and quick to act and defend yourself. The way you moved looked more swiftly and coordinated than you did back in your student days. Almost as if you were a professional dancer. He hated every bit of it. He couldn’t stop looking at you, thinking about you, and the possibilities of what you two would have become.

After the mission was over, no words were exchanged between you two. Aside from the: "Are you alright?" He told you as you simply gave him a thumbs up as you caught your breath drenched in sweat. An entire ride in an uncomfortable silence, until he reached the school and you got out of the car.

"Thanks. You did a great job. Keep it up" You said. Cold, and straight to the point. Closing his car door before he could reply. And soon, you were gone.

As Nanami tried to get his mind off the mission, Gojo made it difficult. He called him to ask for the details of the mission. He seemed amused and intrigued, as clearly you hadn't told him shit. And honestly, he could understand why. Gojo was meddling on things that weren’t his business, and things that had died a long time ago.

"Why are you interrogating me, Gojo?" He asked as he pressed hisnfingers on the bridge of his nose. "Ask your underling…"

"Because that jerk left for the bar as soon as they arrived" He explained. "And I know better than to annoy a drunk [Name], It took me a while but...I finally learned my lesson" He chuckled. “I knew they could hit hard, but damn, I had a big ass bruise…” Nanami could almost hear his stupid grin.

"You make it sound like it's a recurrent event" Nanami pointed out, slightly surprised as he didn't know you were a drinker.

"Oh, Nanami-kun, you really know nothing huh?" Gojo said, smiling widely as he had managed to manipulate Nanami into asking.

"Know what?" Nanami hissed as he now swore he could hear Nanami creepily grinning at his phone.

"No, nothing!” Gojo said as if it were nothing; trying and succeeding at peeking at Nanami’s curiosity “I'm not gonna talk over depressing things on the phone. Gotta go, bye! Kith kith, Kento-kun" Gojo sang and hung up, as he smirked, proud of his little mischief. He sighed deeply as he stretched in his bed. "Soon, those two will be back together" he smirked to himself.

Nanami hissed a curse under his breath as he locked his phone and threw it on his bed and went to the kitchen. If he had understood well, Gojo had just hinted at a possible drinking problem. He tried shaking his mind off of it. You couldn't, could you? You weren’t a drinker...You weren’t the last time he saw you. You were able to party and have fun without having to intoxicate yourself.

You were wild, cheerful, unpredictable. Everything he was not. And that’s what had made him fall in love with you back in your school days. You were so laid back, he could feel it permeating into him when you two hung out. The few times he’d broken rules was because you’d been the bad influence, however, you somehow managed to get away with it, and leave him with some distant memory in which he felt actually glad to be alive. He usually felt like he was walking on a cloud stuck in time, being present and enjoying the little things that made his everyday memories.

He’d really screwed up after breaking up with you...if he could call that a breakup... His life took a dramatic turn. And then, he turned his back to this world, and got immersed in the gray life the average man in Japan had. Away from what he's familiar with, away from his friends, away from you.

And now, apparently, you had a drinking habit. He wondered if he had caused it, or if he was one of the reasons behind it. The guilt started creeping in. The same guilt and regret he felt after ghosting on you. Not being able to bring himself to properly end things with you.

The guilt he’d managed to swipe under the rug for so many years creeped back out, and followed him around as the afternoon went by. After having a shower, changing into more comfortable clothes and in a lame attempt to cook dinner, he decided to test his luck. He put on a dark button down shirt and decided to go to the bar closest to the School. He felt the naive hope to find you there. However, if you had an actual problem, then his chances to see you there were higher.

Such was his surprise to find you there, trying to get rid of some insistent guy who kept talking to you despite your very obvious lack of interest. Before you could spot him, he watched you aggressively turn to the guy and talk to him in a rather rude tone. Sounding almost like a moody sailor as the guy’s face soon was washed with horror and disgust and walked away. As you turned your face back to your drink, your eyes scanned the bar, finally spotting him.

“Oh god” You whined as you pulled the glass to your lips. “It’s too early to be this drunk…” You hissed.

“Mind if I sit here?” He asked, pointing at the chair in front of you.

“Tell Gojo to go fuck himself…” You snapped at him as you stood up and stumbled your way to the bar asking for a refill. Nanami looked at you, feeling slightly sorry for your tipsy state, as he’d never seen you like that. And he knew being mad and drunk was never a good combination. As you turned around with your glass and made your way back to your table, you gave him a slightly repulsed smile. “You’re still here…”

“Gojo didn’t send me here, if that’s what you’re thinking” He replied.

“He might as well have manipulated you into doing so, has that crossed your mind?” You said with a sassy tone as you sat back down. “Why are you still standin’?”

Nanami took that as an invitation as he ignored your last comment, trying to refuse the idea that Gojo had manipulated him.

“Rough day, huh?” He said as you nodded and stared at your drink.

“Look, Kento. I’m glad that you’re back. I really am. You’re strong, and you’re smart…” You began. “But I’m gonna cut the chase, I’m kinda annoyed too. Ever since you got back, Gojo has been sticking his snobby nose into my business” You explained. “Many of the missions he sends you in, I’m supposed to be there as well, but manage to get busy by then and not go”

“So you’re actively avoiding me?”

“Yes” You replied bluntly. “Mostly because Gojo is trying very hard to bring us back together. But no, I learned my lesson the first time” You said taking a sip to your scotch, feeling it smoothly sliding down your throat, no longer feeling the burn from the alcohol.

“I haven’t apologized for that…” Nanami began.

“Don’t” You interrupted him. “It’s better this way”

“Are you sure? Because you still seem to have an issue with it…” Nanami said, managing to read you like an open book like he always did. He still had that ability.

You glared at him, angrily as you opened your mouth to snap back at him, but your mind was foggy and a big portion of your brain was focused on the little details surrounding him. His black shirt, the first buttons undone. His thick wrists, one of them hiding underneath a fancy looking watch, his blond hair pushed back, his sharp features...And god, his smell. The smell of his cologne luring you in like a fly to honey. Since any words made it to your mouth, your next step was to take another sip.

“You’re drinking too fast” He pointed out.

“None of your business” You said standing up and taking your wallet out and leaving a few bills on the tale. “I’m out” You said coldly and walked out of the bar.

Nanami sighed, frustrated that he hadn’t managed to get anything out of interaction. Aside from the pretty clear fact that you disliked him. However, he didn’t think of the possibility of you resenting him so much because you still had feelings for him.

As you walked out of the bar, the chilly wind hit the back of your neck, making you shiver. You cursed, knowing it was going to make you feel drunker faster. You made your way to the school with long steps, trying to make it to your dorm before your last drink made it to your head. Despite the cold wind, the hot tears in your eyes in a way kept your face warm. As you tried to keep yourself from crying, you heard steps behind you.

“Wait” You heard Nanami’s voice calling behind you as you stopped on command, against your own will. You swallowed the lump on your throat and managed to keep the tears still in your eyes, as you refused to look at

him. “At least let me walk you home. You can’t walk on your own like this…”

“Oh, so now you care?” You said turning around and looking at him, giving him a smug smile. “You’ve changed” You scoffed bitterly.

“Please” He said, knowing better than trying to argue with you.

Your stare on him softened, as something within you urged you to say yes. To have more time with Nanami and maybe cling to the bittersweet memories you were constantly reliving since his return.

“Fine” You said, very much to his surprise. He smiled and walked closer to you with the gentle smile that had been haunting your dreams as of lately.

“C’mon. My car is not far from here…”

You stopped coldly as he mentioned a car. Taking a second look at him, you wondered how much he’d changed. He’d become an adult through and through, hadn’t he? While you were still a mess...Or so you thought. To Nanami’s eyes, you were a far better sorcerer and warrior than him. And he envied you for it.

“Are you actually going to take me to the school?” You asked, suddenly growing suspicious of him, as you’d had plenty of experiences with strangers on the street and knew better than going into someone’s car in a drunken state.

Not that you didn’t trust Nanami. You didn’t trust yourself drunk.

“I was actually thinking of taking you somewhere for dinner and then to the school” He said.

“Not hungry”

“No, but you’re drunk. It’ll sober you up, and tomorrow morning you’ll thank me when you wake up without a hangover” He said as he walked towards his car.

“I don’t have any more money on me” You lied, looking for an excuse to avoid spending any more than necessary with him.

“I didn’t ask you if you have money” He said boldly as he managed to make you smirk for the first time since his return.

“Smooth, Nanami. You’ve grown” You said as you followed him.

The walk to his car felt like your chest burnt far more than the alcohol ever did. It felt bitter, it hurt and was nauseating. Was it really it, or was it the alcohol finally catching up with you? Like flashes of instant memories being erased from your memory, the drive to a restaurant felt like a poorly edited foreign film. The car felt like some intense themed park ride as you felt dizzy with the alcohol whispering everything you missed about him. It was gross and it was sickening.

The Ramen sign on the outside on itself managed to sober you up a little by taking your mind off Nanami. As you followed him, clumsily standing on your feet, you sat on one of the tables and tried to make sense of the dancing letters in the menu. More flashes of memories were taken off your head, as you wondered what was happening and how drunk were you for you to start blacking out.

“Not good…” you muttered under your breath.

“Did you say something?” Nanami asked.

“No. Nothing”

“How are you holding up?”

“I’m not”

“You’ll feel better in a bit. Don’t worry…” He said softly as he sipped from a soda you didn’t know he had. When had he ordered it? You looked in front of you to the nice surprise that you had one too despite not knowing how or when. “I ordered some ramen for you. Something spicy...It’ll sober you up faster”

You chuckled as you looked at him.

“And how do you know that?” You asked with a cheeky tone as he smiled softly.

“Went drinking a lot with friends from work” He said. “I learned a few things here and there”

More brief black outs kept lazily painting a rather miserable painting in your memory. As you ate your ramen, you found yourself relaxing more and more. Was it the hot spicy broth? In the beginning, the balck outs weren’t getting any less frequent, however, as the night went by, you found yourself sobering up like he said. Soon, the black outs were gone, however you were still somehow locked in a haze. Although it made sense. The amount of booze as well as the short time, it was going to take a lot more than just one hot bowl of spicy ramen to get you back to a sober state.

The conversation kept flowing comfortably as both of you ate. It was reminiscent of the old days, nostalgic and somehow morbid. As the both of you tried to grasp at the old days when your worries were limited to school work. Catching up like old friends who hadn't seen each other, as if you didn’t have hard feelings for each other.

After having finished your food, Nanami paid for both of your meals and went back out into the cold night. The sky black, stars hidden by the streetlights as you made it to his car and finally noticed the silver color in it.

As he drove back to the school, you noticed he took a small detour, instantly setting alarms in your head.

“Where are we going?” You asked, your voice considerably serious as he noticed the change in tone from the pleasant talk they were having in the restaurant.

“There’s somewhere I’d like to go…” He said as he briefly looked at you and gave you a tender smile.

That smile made your heart uncomfortably skip a beat as you hated the effect he still had on you. You didn’t dare to ask any further as you slowly recognized the route he was taking. As he slowly took one of the roads towards the edge of the city close to the coast line. He stopped in a rather deserted place, as he got off the road and stopped the car.

Despite the lack of light, aside from the few streetlights, you knew exactly where you were. A whole in your chest opened dramatically as you felt your eyes tear up and happy memories attached to the location flooded your mind.

“Kento…” You said chuckling bitterly.

“When I said I wanted to apologize, I meant it…” He said as you clenched your jaw and looked out your window, avoiding his stare.

“And I told you I didn’t want to talk about it…”

“You’re still upset about it, I get it. And I don’t blame you” He began as he felt his heart beating hard in his chest. “Look at me, please”

You wanted to say something to him. But you knew you would break down crying as soon as you opened your mouth. You took a deep breath and without saying anything you looked at him. His dark brown eyes gazing into yours, as he was looking at you with a rather pained stare.

“You remember this place, don’t you?” He asked.

A bitter laugh escaped your lips as you clicked your seatbelt, getting it off.

“I’m done” You said dryly as you opened the door and got out of the car.

“No, [Name]. Please, wait” He said as he mirrored your movements and excited the car walking around it.

“Of fuckign course I know where I am, Kento” You barked as you walked away approaching the door. “I know where I lost my fucking virginity, okay?” You barked as you stopped coldly and looked at him, tears finally streaming off your face. “Look, I’ll make us a favour and summarize this conversation. Yes, you’re a fucking asshole for just taking off one day and completely disappearing. Yes, I’m still mad about it. No, I won’t take your apology. No, I don’t care about whatever shitty excuse you have for me to listen to you. You bringing me here out of all places isn’t going to change shit…” You spat all in one breath as you stopped and took a deep breath.

“I loved you, Kento. I really did. And it hurt to have you just dissipate like you were a hallucination or something...You were my first kiss, my first love, my first everything! And one day I lost all of that. You ruined sex for me!” You yelled angrily. “I could never hold, kiss or sleep with anyone, because at some point I’d see your stupid face, and then be incredibly underwhelmed because I would not enjoy sex. I can’t feel anything anymore, Kento...The only way I can actually enjoy those things is by getting drunk or high” You admitted. “I can’t walk into bookstores, nor eat sandwiches or diet coke, nor drink tea because all those things remind me of you. And yes, it’s lame that all these years later I still care about those things. And this is why I can’t forgive you” You cried, as your voice shook.

Nanami’s heart broke little by little at each one of your words. He knew he’d screwed up and had hurt you deeply. But he wasn’t aware of the actual impact. He clenched his jaw as he felt his chest tight and a lump on his throat. Now the drinking problem made sense. Gojo had painted it like you were an alcoholic, but it wasn’t exactly the case. So you’d gone to the bar to get it off with some stranger, probably pretending it was him.

The dizzying pain and weight of his mistakes blinded him for a second as he walked towards you as you kept bitterly complaining. As you tried to walk away, you made a very poor effort as he caught up with you and cupped your face in his hands, bringing you closer to him and shutting you up by pressing his lips against you.

The sudden surprise made your heart stop. Your mind turning numb and blank at once as you struggled to bring yourself to push him away. However, truth be told, you didn't want to push him away. The poor attempt to push him away was more than obvious. The strong fighter you were, barely making any physical effort. Nanami's hands wrapped around your back and pulled you close, squeezing you against him as he sighed into the kiss.

Finally kissing him back, you locked your lips against his desperately, eager to taste the lips you've been dreading in your dreams. Clinging to him like he was going to disappear again, a soft whimper escaped your mouth. Your chest pressing against him as he felt his own world getting blurry.

He broke the kiss pulling away as he pressed his forehead against yours.

“You have no idea how much I missed you” He whispered as you clung to him.

“I-I…” You stuttered, the words tasting bitter before they even made it to your mouth. “Fuck, I want you, Kento” You growled as he pulled you in, kissing you hungrily again.

His hands posessively clinging to you as he slowly guided you back to the car. One step at the time as you both melted in a hungry sour kiss. As you ran out of breath, you pulled away, gasping for air as you gripped his collar in your hands.

“I can’t hold back anymore” You said as you pulled away and grabbed his hand, walking back to his car.

Your words unleashed a shiver down his spine as his heart skipped a beat and raced like crazy, as his pants started feeling tighter on his crotch. He chuckled softly as he realized his own judgement seemed to have disappeared with that first kiss. And before you could even make it to his car, he gripped your hips and spun you around as he bumped his forehead against yours.

“I can’t either” He admitted as he guided you to the car’s hood and pulled you over it. Ass you sat on the warm hood, he got between your legs and you wasted no time wrapping them around his waist. He grunted softly feeling your crotch against his as you pulled him closer to seal your lips together.

As you soon were absorbed by the dizziness of your rising heat, his hand went to your bare thighs as he slowly caressed your skin, going up and lifting your skirt up in the process. A soft moan slid into his mouth as he gripped your ass softly and squeezed it. The way your skin got covered in goosebumps and how you jerked your hips made him moan in response.

It felt good, and intoxicating. The driving desire burning his insides. The feeling of desiring to taste you all over and have you shaking underneath him. God, he’d missed that particular rush of adrenaline. His body reacting to the deeply buried memories now loose. He felt like he was in the best high he’d experienced. Lightheadedness and presence in the moment, he hadn’t felt this alive in so long.

Your hands were slowly undoing his buttoned shirt and were quick to explore his warm skin. He pulled away from the kiss, gasping as he looked at you. Your devilish smile matching your hungry stare. You leaned forward kissing his neck, nibbling on his skin every now and then. His hand gripped your hair tightly, pulling it lightly, making you look up at him as he stared at you.

He leaned forward, kissing you once more, this time a lot more slow and a lot more tender. It was sweet and it was slow and it took you by surprise. You felt his sweet kiss begging you, still holding on to the feelings you both decided to drown unsuccessfully. It almost hurt. It was the kind of kiss that told you how much you missed and needed each other. How much you regretted the mistakes you’ve done.

As you melted against his lips, his hands slowly slid your panties off. You helped him lifting your hips a little but as you giggled against his lips.

“Eager?” You said with a playful smirk.

“You have no idea” He replied as he took off your panties and shoved them in his back pocket.

His hand made it back to your thigh, slowly going up until he palmed your hot sex. Stealing a gasp out of your mouth, he teasingly ran one of his fingers through your dripping slit, making him smile satisfied.

“I’m not the only one, huh?” He said as you looked at him with lustful eyes.

You took his glasses off and set them aside. You were about to go back to kissing his neck when he slid one finger inside of you effortlessly. A rather loud moan escaped your lips as you shut your eyes closed feeling your entire body tingle in a way you hadn’t felt in years. You smiled satisfied as you continued kissing his neck. Slowly, he got another finger inside. The delicious stretch of his second finger prompting you to bite his neck softly making him growl your name softly. His fingers explored the whole he knew so well, as he found your sweet spot almost by muscle memory. More moans came out of your throat sounding like music to his ears.

“Fuck, Kento” You hissed as you took off your top, not caring that you were outdoors and by the road. Up to this point, you were so pent up, you simply craved him like you’d never craved anything before.

Nanami wasted no time and kissed your neck, going down to your neck, gently biting your skin every now and then. Sucking delicately on your skin, leaving marks that wouldn’t last long. He pulle dhis fingers out of you, clinging to your body desperately. As you laid on the car’s hood, you devoured him with your lustful eyes, begging him to get on top of you. Wearing just your skirt by this point, Nanami groaned at the plain sight of you.

He undid his belt and his pants. Your hands playfully teasing your own body in an attempt to drive him crazier and crazier. He cursed under his breath as he couldn’t take it any longer. He pulled his painfully hard erection out of his pants. You watched hi, intrigued, stretching your hands towards him, gently gripping his dick. His breath hitched and you smiled proudly.

Nanami leaned over the car hood, slowly getting on top of you, his shaft resting on your belly as he looked at how much deep could he go inside of you. His tip almost reaching you belly button, as the idea alone made a shiver run down his spine.

"Please, Kento" you gasped, need dripping from your voice as you caressed his dick

He growled softly as he pulled away softly, aligning against your entrance and slowly going in. You gasped, pushing your head back and pressing your hips against his making him go deeper.

Hissing your name, he jerked his hips, his tip.kissing your cervix as sudden rush of pain jolted through your body, followed by pleasure. You dug your nails in his shoulders as he thrusted back and forth, hitting all the right spots. The sound of his gasps and grunts hypnotizing as you got wetter by the second. His length coated in your juices, echoing in lewd wet noises.

He was rough. He usually was. Back in student days, he was particularly rough. As quiet and collected as he seemed, he sure got his stress out if his body through wild sex.

Relentlessly pushing against you, stretching you in such a delicious way only he knew how. Strong and aggressive movements as your walls swallowed him whole every time, breathless moans escaping your lips with every push. The cool wind kissing your skin, only enhancing his warmth.

As you felt your orgasm progressively approaching, the realization of how addicted you were to him hit you. He was everything you desired. And it was wrong. Before the feeling of uneasiness started to sink in, a sudden electric rush ran through your body. Painfully and soothing, as you tightly clenched around himbsoon numbed your mind.

As you came around him, your walls sucked him in tightly, as he was right over the brink, your velvet flesh pushed him off the edge. He didn't have time to pull out. And honestly, he didn't want to pull out. The way your walls milked him felt delicious. As he rode you through your orgasm, filling you up as his head felt dizzy and the world was spinning faster than usual. His hot seed coating your insides, as you shut your eyes closed, feeling the very last of your orgasm fading away.

He pressed his forehead against yours. Loud pants echoing.

However, the world didn't quite return to its regular focus.

The rest of the night went by in a fuzzy hot mess of events. You returned to his apartment and kept feasting on each other, making up for the lost time. Both of you incredibly starved and needy, you desperately went at it over and over again. It was a rather long night. As you feared, no one made you feel as he did. All of him was addicting. His smell, his voice, his warmth, his skin...It didn’t matter how many strangers you fucked, or how drunk or high you were, he felt just right. He made you cum so easily, it seemed ridiculous everyone else couldn’t.

But you knew it was far more than that.

You were still deeply in love with him. No wonder why he had that effect on you. Just hearing his breathlessly gasp was enough to have you soaking wet and under his mercy. Between sweet kisses, fake promises and sweaty sex, he quite literally fucked you to oblivion. Until either of you could take it any longer and you two fell asleep in each other’s arms. It had been a long tiring night, as you knew many of your muscles were gonna be sore the next day. Your chest painted in red and blue bruises.

It was possibly one of the best night sleeps he’d had. In such a long time. The uncomfortable hole in his chest didn’t feel so wide now. Just like you, he didn’t know how much he actually needed you until now. His regrets, his guilt, the thoughts haunting him on how much of a jerk he’d been when he simply took off...All those feelings went away for a night. As he tasted the wonders of the universe under your skin. Feeling ecstatic and euphoric for the first time in years. However, nothing could’ve prepared Nanami for what he was about to experience when he woke up.

~

“What the hell is this?” Gojo asked as he waved around the folder you’d left a few hours earlier in the Headmaster’s office.

“Why the fuck do you care?” You said as you grabbed it, ripping it off his hands.

“You’re seriously leaving for Kyoto?” He whined.

“So my transfer was accepted? Great!” You said sarcastically as you opened the folder and saw the Headmaster’s seal at the bottom.

“What about Nanami-kun?” Gojo replied as the very last string of your patience snapped.

“Oh, fuck you, Gojo! You tried to force us back together, but it’s not going to happen” You snapped. “I’m done. I’m done with him, and I’m done with you sticking your nose in my business”

“Do you really think that running away will solve anything? You’ll still be depressed as hell”

“The less I know about him, the better” You said as you turned around, hot tears blurring your sight as you headed with long steps towards your room. “I don’t trust myself around him…” You whispered. “He’s my weakness Gojo, I can’t let that happen…” You said coldly.

You’d left that morning very early, before Nanami woke up. And you left leaving no trace of you ever being there. Unintentionally doing the same he did. It was unintentional because you hadn’t done it out of spite. Your thought process had been simply. You preferred to not have that conversation and simply leave without him noticing. You had had the exact same thought process Nanami had had all those years ago.

You didn’t waste time and soon started packing your things to leave for Kyoto right away.

#jjk smut #jjk fanfic #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen fanfic #jujutsu kaisen imagines #nanami kento #nanami x you #nanami kento imagines #nanami x reader #nanami angst #server collab

[lossie92]

Looking for Home - META

Here it is, guys!

I actually come up with headcanons and make notes for all my stories, but I’ve only recently started to write them down in more detail.

Also, yes, I'm crazy enough that all character names have meanings. Even if I only mention this or that OC in passing, you better believe that I spent at least fifteen minutes deciding on a good name for them 🙈 

Either way, this is the first time I’ve ever shared my notes with any audience and I hope you’ll like it 😊

Please bear in mind that everything under the cut can be considered a ❗spoiler❗, so if you haven’t read Looking for Home yet, I would highly recommend doing that before checking out the META.

I wouldn’t want to spoil the story for you 😅

WARNINGS: discussion of sex and mental health issues, implied/referenced self-harm, swearing, implied/referenced underage relationship (both parties are consenting and they are also considered adults in this universe)

-

Nakano: Meaning ‘warrior’. Madara was returning from a short mission when he heard something and decided to investigate. He found a cat, little more than a kitten really, holding onto a piece of drift wood in a particularly perilous section of the Naka River. She was bleeding, missing one ear and clearly terrified as she desperately fought for her life. He managed to save her and brought her home with him. The cat was a bit skittish at the beginning, but now she absolutely worships the ground Madara and Tobirama walk on. She really fucking hates everyone else though.

If you are interested in how she looks, imagine the below, but with one ear.

Yes, that’s one very angry-looking maine coon 😂

Kameko: Meaning 'tortoise child'. Tortoises actually symbolise longevity in Japan (and most of East Asian, as far as I know) and Madara's grandmother is rather old by the standards of the era at sixty-something. I am pretty sure it is mentioned somewhere in canon that shinobi used to die like flies during the Warring States Period and not many of them made it past thirty. So yeah, pretty sure she is considered immortal at this point.

She is Tajima’s mother and she had to basically raise Madara and Izuna after their mom died when they were still young teens (it happened during the year following Madara’s meetings with Hashirama, so he was around fourteen). She took it very seriously and showered her grandsons with affection and love at every turn, which is the reason why both of them are somewhat well-adjusted despite growing up half-orphaned in a war-torn country.

Jin: Meaning ‘tender’. She’s Madara’s and Izuna’s only first cousin that’s still alive and also Kagami’s mom. She is a force of nature, this one. Everyone underestimates her, because she just seems so innocent and sweet, but if you get on her bad side, you better run. The mark of friendship with her is when she starts teasing and joking around. She definitely considers herself to be Tobirama’s buddy now.

Nobutama: From Nobu meaning ‘faith’ or ‘trust’ and adding the -tama/-rama suffix typical in male Senju names. Coming up with this name was hard, y’all.

He is an only child and was conceived very early on into Mito’s and Hashirama’s marriage. They were married very young too, around fifteen-sixteen, which I assume would have been considered normal at the time (it would have definitely been normal in feudal Japan). I mean, most of the ninja seemed to die around thirty, so they had to procreate sometime before that, you know?

He is a very kind, sweet kid, but a little bit on the dense side. Looks like Hashirama did at his age, but with Mito’s pretty red hair.

Hitomi: Meaning ‘pupil of the eye’/ ‘wisdom and intellect’ (depending on kanji). She’s the Uchiha clan healer and ophthalmologist, and Hikaku’s mother. Yes, I did name an eye doctor after a part of a literal eye and I’m very proud of myself.

I headcanon that the Uchiha specialize in treating eye conditions. There is no way they have been struggling with blindness and impaired vision for centuries and haven’t found a way to counteract them. It would make no sense.

Of course Madara noticed Tobirama squinting at things and how the man would develop these killer headaches if he read for too long quite early into their marriage. He knows what it looks like when people have poor vision, so he took Tobirama to see Hitomi at some point and that’s how our fave Senju ended up with glasses. And yes, Tobirama’s poor vision is the result of albinism. All hail the albino Tobirama headcanon, am I right?

Eichi: Meaning ‘wisdom’. Since the guy ends up insulting the entire female population of Konoha in one sentence, I don’t think we can attribute much wisdom to him though. Izuna had the right idea when he called this dude an idiot. It makes the name even funnier, in my opinion.

Masukagami: Meaning ‘The Clear Mirror’. It’s an actual historical tale, the last book in a four-part series, believed to have been compiled during the Northern and Southern Court period in Japan. Since Madara enjoys history and non-fiction in general, I thought it would make for a nice gift, especially if it was a fancier edition or something. I will include his reaction to receiving it in the sequel, don’t worry.

How Kamako-obaa found out about Tobirama’s abysmal eating habits: Madara did in fact snitch on Tobirama under the guise of his regular bitching about everything under the sun. That man is vicious AF when he tries to take care of his precious people and let’s face it: Tobirama in this verse needs a fucking minder to keep him functional. The reason he did it was of course to make sure his grandmother would be vigilant enough to notice if his idiot spouse reverted back to thinking paperwork and science were more important than basic bodily functions the moment Madara left the village. As evidenced in the story, he was right to do so and he has absolutely no regrets.

The lack of Hashirama in this story: A lot of madatobi stories feature Hashirama as the matchmaker figure or at least a driving force that pushes the main characters into realizing their feelings for each other in some way. Don’t get me wrong, I love these tropes! They’re great! However, I wanted to do something different. That’s why it’s Kameko-obaa, Jin, Mito, Touka, Izuna, and even Kagami a little tiny bit who are responsible for not-so-gently pushing Tobirama in the right direction.

My personal favourite is Mito’s quiet understanding and support. In a way, she has the most in common with Tobirama in this universe – they are both very private people, they value logic and are very intellectual, and had been married off for the sake of politics, just to name a few. I also feel like Tobirama would definitely see her as an older sister and would be more willing to come to her for help instead of asking Touka who, while well-meaning, is probably also not the most gentle or patient.

Madara being responsible for foreign affairs: I know, I know. Sounds crazy, right? Here me out, though! Madara has been shown to have an awful temper, yes, but we are also led to believe that most of it might have been Zetsu’s influence. Besides, I think he would have been very different at home or when he was working compared to his battle persona. Kinda hard to work when you’re pumped on adrenaline and borderline feral, you know? I also think it would be hilarious if the reason he was good at politics was that people were scared of him and he knew it and used it to his advantage. He wouldn’t even have to do much! Just be there and act all calm, but menacing at the same time, and people would proceed to lose their proverbial shit, because they are sure he is plotting their deaths or something like that if he has been too quiet for too long. The funniest thing is nobody realizes that this is going on and they are just all quietly impressed with his diplomatic skills. Madara doubtlessly finds it very amusing.

Madara and his teas: In my head Madara has a bit of a tea obsession (well, he has my own tea obsession, but amplified, but that’s neither here nor there). He has a collection of different tea leaves, dried fruits and herbs, etc. and he uses them to make his own blends. Sometimes they’re definitely a miss, but quite often he ends up with a very good and unique tea as a result. He also likes to spend some extra money on pre-made blends if they’re good quality and from a reliable supplier. Tobirama, as mentioned, really appreciates the tea, but his skills at making it are virtually nonexistent. He had been known to burn very expensive tea leaves by accident. That’s why Madara doesn’t trust him with the tea cupboard.

Also, the tea Madara prepares at the end is the blue pea tea. Look it up, that shit is fascinating!

Madara acting as a househusband: This is not necessarily because he is actually trying to fill that role consciously. In this universe, he definitely exhibits some obsessive-compulsive behaviours (e.g. cleaning the house until it’s spotless, keeping things in order and getting stressed if they’re not, being almost unreasonably snippy when someone moves things from their ‘rightful place’, etc.). Experiencing trauma can trigger things like that, although it is not the only reason why people clean, of course. He also suffers from depression to some extent, though I think this can be said about the majority of characters in Naruto.

Tobirama isn’t aware why Madara acts this way and doesn’t really understand it, but he accommodates him nevertheless.

Tobirama’s panic attack: As you might have noticed, there is something going on with Tobirama behind the scenes. I will explore it in more detail in the sequel, but this is basically a leftover from his less than ideal childhood (you can read more about my headcanon for this HERE) and a result of trauma. Also, depression and some form of an anxiety disorder, because these are always fun to experience 🤦‍♀️

He taught himself that pain could bring him out of an episode and that’s what he has been using for years to deal with them. It works, but it’s a form of self-harm and not a healthy tactic at all. He is very bad a recognizing and processing his own feelings as well. Like, really bad. Then once he gets on with the uptake, he blurts them out. That’s mostly why he panicked in this situation – he knew that now that the love for Madara was realized, he was at a risk of just saying it randomly and he was terrified of Madara’s reaction.

Madara’s and Tobirama’s marriage: Offering Tobirama as a spouse for Madara was supposed to be an insult. As mentioned in the story, the Senju Elders were convinced it would spark the conflict anew, because Tobirama is a man and wouldn’t be able to give Madara heirs. The joke’s on them though, because the Uchiha clan is chill as a cucumber about same-sex marriage and couldn’t really care less. They are maybe a little bit shocked and wary of Tobirama as the prospective bride, but they roll with it in the end. Madara is actually kind of happy about it. Yes, he doesn’t really like Tobirama and doesn’t really trust him all that much either, but at the same time he knows his gay ass could have ended up married to a woman, so, you know, all in all it’s not that bad of a deal. Plus, he has eyes and, if nothing else, Tobirama is at least very to look at 🤭

It goes without saying, I think, but just in case that wasn’t clear: there was no wedding night and the two of them have been sleeping in separate rooms for this entire time.

Tobirama’s and Madara’s sexuality: As mentioned above, I see Madara as being gay in this story and someone quite experienced and sure of his own sexuality as well. He was encouraged to be careful, but also explore his options and experiment, and that’s basically what he did.

Tobirama, on the other hand, has only kissed someone once out of curiosity (that it just so happened to be a boy isn’t really all that relevant). He wasn’t really interested in finding out more about sex afterwards, very much convinced it wasn’t really for him. I see him as someone on the ace spectrum here, probably demisexual, so yeah, friendship and an emotional connection overall would have made him attracted to Madara more than looks ever could. The fact that Madara is the type of stupid pretty that makes everyone notice his attractiveness almost immediately is its own thing.

Seals and fuinjutsu: I think that the application of sealing in Naruto wasn’t explored to its full potential. As a group of techniques it seems the most versatile of them all, to be honest. You can seal anything and make any number of things work through sealing. I mean, you can even seal jutsu! Come on, if that’s not the coolest thing, I don’t know what else is!

There are so many things you can use seals for and it’s really exciting to come up with some everyday non-military uses for them. My take on them may not be canon-compliant, but I don’t really care.

The heat-preserving seals are used mostly for food, but they can also be useful for keeping an optimal temperature of any number of things. They are not meant to be used on humans or any living organisms though, just inanimate objects and such, because they can interfere with the organism’s natural temperature and cause a heatstroke in humans.

The sealing embroidery is a specialty of Yuki no Kuni. In a lot of stories I’ve read, Konoha seems to come up with every new invention and I thought it would be nice to give other countries something of their own as well. It made sense why people from the Land of Snow would develop a way to keep themselves warm that didn’t involve donning on layers upon layers of clothing.

Also, chakra influencing one’s body temperature should have been noticed and documented by people who are primarily affected by it. Tobirama, who is from a clan of predominately Doton users, would likely have little contact with people who are as proficient with Suiton as he is and thus wouldn’t have been able to link his penchant for being cold with it.

Hanten jackets: These are great. If you can get your hands on one, please do. They are really warm and cosy, and most of them are made from cotton, so they are very breathable as well. They are considered casual clothing, unlike haori which is part of formal wear. The one Madara got for Tobirama was handmade and the stitching was done with silk chakra-infused thread. It is also reversible – one side is plain black with the Senju and Uchiha clan mons in red right under the collar and the other is the indigo blue waves with silver seals embroidery. This is kind of how I imagined it looks like:

The houses in Konoha: Most of them are traditional Japanese-style buildings. I’m sorry, but my brain cannot process Founders Era characters using a stove and sleeping in regular beds at home if the story isn’t set in Modern AU, so here we are: irori, shoji screens, zabuton, and all that jazz.

Traditional Japanese houses are really well engineered though. They may seem old-timely and outdated, but they’re really not. I would highly recommend looking up some blueprints and generally any info about their construction you can find. They are great and very beautiful.

I also think that the architecture we are familiar with from the original series would have become more mainstream and popular around the time Hiruzen became the Hokage as more and more foreigners arrived and settled in Konoha, sort of mimicking the modernization of Japan in a way.

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There is more, but I’ll make a separate post for it when I publish the sequel. I don’t want to spoil too much of the story before it’s even fully written 😉

#madatobi #tobimada #madara uchiha #uchiha madara #tobirama senju #senju tobirama #naruto fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfiction meta #fic meta #meta #writing notes #headcanons #lossie writes #lossie92