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#cool idea thank you and then like ugh they’re so much more willing to listen to you then woah I hope every child in the world lives a life

aerialflight · 3 years

Text

Fic Recs (cause it's always nice to give a shout out and get people into things I'm into rn)

[The Magnus Archives] (I recently finished the podcast and I fell into a hole for a while so here you go)

Sing a Song of Sixpence by Kaiel

Ship: Jon/Martin

In which Jonathan Sims is a Siren, and he fails to notice any new abilities granted to him by the position of Archivist. Or really anything about the Entities at all.

Takes place in season 1 featuring Jonah Magnus’s slow decent into madness

(The new mythology interwoven with tma's worldbuilding is so freaking good and I love how all the characters change and develop because of these changes. Also, f you Elias)

Along Came a Spider by Dribbledscribbles

Ship: implied Jon/Martin

Sasha James is the Archivist, as expected. Martin Blackwood is menaced by Jane Prentiss, as expected. Elias Bouchard weaves his web, as expected.

All goes as it should.

At least until something calling itself Jonathan Sims steps in.

(Web!Jon in this makes me want to weep, it's so freaking good. A pretty long, very excellent oneshot on what could've happened if Jon got taken by the web when he was a kid. And Sasha as the Archivist is ALWAYS so cool, we love her in this house.)

A Break in the Clouds by Ash_Rabbit

“I’m eight.” the kid sniffs as if eight was any different from four, maybe not an unspeakable horror then, just a regular horror. “And I heard that the Magnus Institute deals with-” his little nose scrunches, cute. “-spooky things.”

“Do you have a-” he cracks a grin, and then rethinks it as small hands tighten against their burden.”-spooky thing to deliver?” gods he hopes not, it’s bad enough when adults walk in and lay out all of their baggage, but for a child-

“There’s a spider in this book.” the kid says solemnly, raising his textbook sized parcel. “It ate Evan Pritchard.” a bloody fucking Leitner. Of course an eight year old would find a murder spider book. “This seemed like the best place to bring it.”

(I never thought about what the Original Elias could've been like AND NOW I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT BECAUSE OF THIS FIC. I LOVE HIM, HE'S COMPLEX AND HE CARES AND JON CARES AND THEY BOTH CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER. THIS IS THE CONTENT I WANT, OMG. Also, Jon being even smaller than usual is adorable, so cute. No wonder Elias wants to hug him, a LOT.)

See the Line where the Sky meets the Sea by The_Floating_World

Ship: Jon/Martin, Jon/Oliver Banks

When Jon is a child he looks into the infinite abyss of space. The Vast looks back into him.

(One of my all time fave fics in this fandom, no questions asked. I have reread this three times and am open to doing it again, god. Vast!Jon, such a concept. It's written so beautifully and the relationships Jon develops, so good. ugh. My heart. Please please read.)

Sweet As Roses by Prim_the_Amazing

Ship: Jon/Martin

“Come in, Martin,” he says, not looking up from his notes.

“Hi, Jon,” he says, and Jon stops writing at the sound of his voice. “We’re out of the green tea, but we’ve got lemon?”

Jon looks at him. Martin smiles at him in his usual tentative way as he sets the mug of tea down on Jon’s desk. Heat spikes so sharply in his gut that he twitches with it.

“Thank you, Martin,” he says, mouth dry, and he stands up.

“Oh,” he says, sounding almost surprised. He smiles again. “No-- no problem-- um, what are you--”

Jon takes Martin by the shoulders, leans up on the tips of his toes, and kisses him.

(You have no idea how much I howled through this fic, my god. *buries face in hands* The number of times I wanted to cry from sheer hilarity and horror reading this good lord.)

Things Could Always Be Worse by theOestofOCs

Ship: Jon/Martin, Georgie/Melanie

Sometimes, the most horrifying thing of all is what might have been.

Somewhere, Jon could swear he heard a crowd laughing.

Or: in which Jonathan Sims is forced to swap places with his alternate self—a tall, chivalrous hero extraordinaire, who knows neither fear nor nuance—and is sent to the aggressively straight alternate universe the Magnus Archives was never meant to be.

“Whatever place this is,” Jon announced, “I just want to be sure it knows I hate it.”

(I will say this once, THIS IS THE MOST CURSED THING IVE EVER READ EVER. Like holy hell. I can't believe this thing exists. please read it oh please please please)

[Supernatural]

heard from your mother (she don't recognize you) by Schmuzz

Ship: Dean/Cas, Jessica/Sam

A man named Cas wakes up in 2003 with no memories, but he's able to piece together a few things:

1. Supernatural creatures exist, and most of them will hurt innocent civilians if he doesn't stop them; 2. He has abilities that no human hunter should have, but he knows enough about human hunters to keep that to himself, and finally; 3. He keeps running into another hunter named Dean Winchester, who seems to be about as lonely as he is if he's willing to put up with those former facts long enough to help Cas unravel the mystery of who (or what) he really is.

For his part, Dean's still (not) dealing with Sam's departure to Stanford, and figures distracting himself with a bit of mystery and intrigue is as harmless as it gets, right? Right.

(THE fic I'm most into right now, been following this from the very start and it's AMAZING. Cas has agency and is making friends and S1 Dean is growing out of John's influence and is becoming a Person and the both of them first being friends then more. The slow burn as their relationship develops, SO GOOD. SO SO DAMN GOOD. *screams* Seriously one of the best spn fics I've read in a long, long time.)

anamnesis by cenotaphy

Ships: Castiel/Dean, Sam/Eileen

Chuck is depowered, Jack is the new god, and the world is free. Dean and Sam get into the Impala and chase down the miles on an endless highway, and their story is finally, finally their own to follow. At least, that's what Dean tells himself. But the diners and motels and painted interstate lines are blurring together and the smallest details keep catching at his brain like tiny fishhooks and he can't quite shake the feeling that not everything is exactly as it should be.

* Fix-it/alternate series finale. Canon-compliant through the end of 15.19.

(THIS IS THE FIC THAT GOT ME THROUGH THE FINALE OKAY. WHY COULDN'T THIS HAVE BEEN CANON. It's Disturbing and honestly plot-wise this makes more sense. Why couldn't we have had this. *screams*)

[Avatar: The Last Airbender]

where the stars do not take sides by WitchofEndor

Ship: Sokka/Zuko

When Azula is nine, she becomes an only child. She hears the Fire Lord call for Zuko's life, and in the morning, her mother and brother are gone. Azula may be young, but she isn't naive. She knows what happened to them.

Which makes it all the more surprising when Azula tracks the Avatar down and fights his group of peasant friends, only to find herself staring into an eerily familiar face.

(The fact one of the tags in this fic is, "Sibling Dynamic: Fucked Up But Wholesome" should give you an idea what this fic is like. Chaotic as HELL and I just love Azula here, she loves Zuko so much in her messed up way and Zuko loves her back in the exact same way lol. It's batshit and I am Here For This.)

[Naruto]

Eclipse by AislingRoisin (JayBird345) for HybrisAnaideia

Ship: Nara Shikaku/OFC

"In life, it's easier to remain stagnant and wallow in your troubles. But life isn't merely about continued existence, nor is it meant to be gone through alone."

(This is a fic that's slept on and I NEED people to read this. A self-insert fic that I find really interesting in its approach and the worldbuilding for the post-third war shinobi world is fantastic. I feel like there's a certain pattern with self-insert fics, not that is a detriment in any way to how much I enjoy them, so this fic feels fresh to me in a way I haven't read in a while. I am waiting eagerly for this to get updated! Please read!)

On Freedom and Other Formalities by iaso

Ship: Kakashi/Genma/OFC

When push comes to shove, Hiwa Inuzuka doesn't go down easy. Reborn into a new, dangerous world? She puts her past life as a spy to work. Thrown into a war? Hiwa does her duty, for Konoha. And when she's forced into an arranged marriage? All there is to do is beat them to the punch and get married first. Thankfully, Genma Shiranui is willing to lend a hand. Literally. SI/OC

(Listen, LISTEN, it's about the slow burn, the longing, the communication (it both has and hasn't and isn't THAT great??), the messy way you fit three very different people together, it's so freaking good! Also, Kakashi is so Chaotic here this is my fave characterization of him, you can't change my mind. And Genma is a Good Boi who is Doing His Best, along with the Self-insert character who I LOVE SO MUCH, SHE'S FANTASTIC FNEIWOPAF. Sped past this fic in the speed of light, I could not stop reading!)(Honestly, read all of the author's fics, they're all really REALLY good!)

Building a Castle by WhisperingDarkness

Without needing anyone to tell her, Sakura knew that talking to someone no-one else could see or hear would make her weird. It would draw the bad kind of attention to her, something people could make fun of her for.

She didn’t like being weird, but she did like the voice. Her inner voice was helpful and it was a part of her that had always been there. The idea of it not being there would have been so much weirder than anything else.

It was during her first year at the Academy that Sakura realised the voice was not in her head at all, but that it came from a cloudy shape floating next to her.

(Basically a short-ish retelling of Hikaru no Go. Only with more Shogi and Nara and Ninja's)

(Sakura can see ghosts (I'm noticing this is a popular trope for her) and it's really cute haha! Her relationship with Tobirama is sweet and I just enjoyed reading this so much.)

[The Magicians]

So Long (And Thanks For All The Books) by IncompleteSentanc (Erava)

Ships: Quentin/Eliot, James/Julia, Quentin/Margo/Eliot

When Quentin is told Julia wasn't admitted to Brakebills, he realizes he has a drastic decision in front of him. If he tells Julia about magic, he'll have his mind wiped as well as hers. But he can't just leave her behind, either. He can't lose his best friend, and he can't let her life a life with her magical potential stolen away from her.

So he makes a third choice.

(Really, and I mean REALLY well-done canon divergent fic, this is the Quentin & Julia friendship fic I have been looking for forever. It explores so much of what could've happened and I just love Quentin here, I really really do. Characterization done so right. I also recommend the author's other works too. Been a follower of them for a long time, they're great.)

[Game of Thrones]

The Road to Victory by writing_as_tracey

Too late in preparing for the Night King and the Long Night, the last stand at Winterfell is close to falling. Bran takes desperate measures to ensure victory, and Jon, Sansa, and Arya pay the price for it in a time unfamiliar to them, on the cusp of another war. [GoT, time-travel fix it]

(I swear, this fic made me laugh so many times, all the Stark are BAMF and fantastic, and Rhaegar gets Wrecked lol. It's crack btw, and the plot goes in directions you'll never guess and it's amazing hahaha!)

[Haikyuu!!] (I am very very late to the fandom but here I am)

Ballare (To Dance) by MidnightSparks

Ship: Iwaizumi Hajime/Kageyama Tobio/Oikawa Tooru, and platonic Kageyama & Kentarou (really love their friendship)

Kageyama’s first love is volleyball. His second, however, is ballet.

In one world, Kageyama Tobio is left behind by his parents. In this world, the existence of soulbonds keeps Kageyama’s parents in Miyagi and leaves Kageyama in the care of his grandma and grandpa.

(In which soulmates exist and that changes everything and nothing at the same time.)

(*buries face in hands* I have fallen for this ship so hard and I can't get out fudge me. I understand now. Their DYNAMICS FIEWONPAF)

Kings of Tomorrow by bokubroya (liarielle)

Ship: Kageyama Tobio/Oikawa Tooru

On the eve of Tobio’s 16th birthday, he counts down the seconds to midnight, and emerges with Oikawa Tooru’s name on his wrist.

It’s been two years since then, and Tobio thought they had an understanding. A silent, never spoken about understanding that this thing between them is nothing, and they’re going to pretend it doesn’t exist.

Of course, it’s just like Oikawa to change the game and leave Tobio wondering what comes next.

(I am WEAK for soulmate fics between these two, I don't even really like soulmate fics half the times what is WRONG WITH ME-)(Please suffer with me, I'm begging you. Its a good fic, thumbs up.)

[Crossover]

Honey and Magic by JustARatherVerySillyWriter, White_Squirrel for Super Carlin Brothers

Fandoms: Matilda (yeah you read that right), Harry Potter

Everyone knew Matilda was a rather extraordinary child, but even she didn't know she was a witch. Matilda Honey receives her Hogwarts letter in the year of the Triwizard Tournament, and soon, she will leave her unique mark on the magical world.

(Do I even need to explain how amazing it is to have Matilda in the wizarding world? And Matilda is a HUFFLEPUFF AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL THIS FIC IS GREAT PLEASE READ!!!)

An Eye for an Eye by DpsMercy

Fandoms: The Magnus Archives, Welcome to Night Vale

In which Jonathan Sims is not from the UK but instead, if you took his origins and turned them sideways twice then flipped them over, he technically would be from the US, the town of Night Vale specifically. Elias can’t do shit about it and gets a headache and slowly creeping madness instead.

(Look, I know probably everyone has read this because if they haven't, what have you been DOING with your lives??? Jon interning at Night Vale is Incredible, nothing phases this man, it's Delightful. I laughed so many times reading this, I'm not even kidding right now. Read or perish.)

The Favour by R_Cookie

Fandoms: Harry Potter, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

Ship: Original Percival Graves/Harry Potter

Percival is ten years old when his grandfather tries to tell him that he's ensured the greatness of the Graves legacy for him, that he ought to be eternally grateful - but the explanation is hijacked by a stranger who manages to intimidate Chester Graves with an ease never seen before.

or: Hadrian (Harry) Potter is the Master of Death, who grants Graves a boon. Nobody could have known that the Deathly Hallows didn't turn you so much into the 'Master of Death' as into the anthropomorphic personification of Death. And so, Death becomes Percival's guardian angel, and Percival does not spit out his cereal.

(Look, I don't know how I stumbled back into the FBAWTFT fandom either, it just happened and I'm grateful for that. Otherwise, I wouldn't have found this amazing fic. Their relationship is slow and strange and I just love how Percival is characterized here. Also, one of the tag promises that it deviates from canon so I am really, really excited for that! XD)

baby that's what i do by natanije

Fandoms: Naruto, Katekyou Hitman Reborn!

"Are you telling me," Hidan exclaims, incredulous, "that you collect money all this time to give to orphans?!"

Kakuzu pauses. He blinks a few times.

"Huh. I guess I do."

(Tsuna reincarnates as Kakuzu and it's HILARIOUS. HE'S SUCH A MOM HAHAHA)

#Fanfiction #AO3 #Fic Rec #Fic Rec List #Podcasts #The Magnus Archives #Supernatural #Avatar The Last Airbender #Naruto #The Magicians #Game of Thrones #Haikyuu!!#Crossover #Matilda #Welcome to Night Vale #Harry Potter #Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them #Katekyou Hitman Reborn

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julia-highstorms · 3 years

Text

Forgive (Bryce x Rei (F!MC))

Author’s note: This takes place in Book 3 Chapter 11, after that poke shop scene. I found Bryce's reaction to his mother too superficial, so here's my hope to add more depth to it.

Disclaimer: Characters and some dialogues belong to Pixelberry Studios, not me.

Rating: PG- 13

Pairing: Bryce x F!MC (Rei Sato) - Masterlist

Word count: +2.4K

___________________

"Hey, bro."

They all stopped eating momentarily to look up at the girl who had just come into the poke shop. She gave him a little wave, a smirk playing on her lips, and Bryce promptly leapt from his seat next to Rei's, and practically sprinted to where his sister was.

"Keiki! You made it!" - he grinned from ear to ear, enveloping her in a bear hug, lifting her off the ground. She hugged him back tightly, before noticing her brother's friends at the table.

"Rei! Good to see you again. Keeping my brother out of trouble?"

Much more calm and collected than the scalpel jockey, Rei stood up and walked towards the Lahela siblings, smiling back at the teenage girl.

"You know that's not possible. But forget him, don't I get a hug?"

Keiki rolled her eyes, good humouredly.

"I suppose I can manage one for you."

The friendly squeeze she gave Rei was genuine and she smiled as the medical resident took a step back.

"Let me get a look at you. You're taller than me now!"

"Not that it's something too difficult to achieve."

"Hey!" - Rei pouted to Bryce's comment, and he and his sister laughed. Not that he was wrong; it wasn't difficult to be taller than Rei, who was 5 feet 2 tall. Everyone else was taller than her.

...Well, everyone but Sienna.

"Anyway, it feels like forever since you went off to boarding school! But what are you doing in Hawaii?"

"We're on school break. Lucky for me, it overlapped with y'all being here, so Bryce and I figured we should at least meet up."

"I'm really glad you made it, sis. Here, let me get you--"

Bryce's voice suddenly died as a well-dressed woman walked into the poke shop, just behind Keiki. Rei knew right away who she was, based on the family resemblance. And on how Bryce tensed up, his smile instantly replaced by a blank face, his hands balling into fists.

She looked back straight to him, her dark brown eyes lighting up and then saddening, as her son turned his back to her. He leaned forward to talk to Keiki on an undertone.

"Keiki, what is she doing here?"

"I invited her." - the girl answered, without even blinking.

"Okay. Next question… what do you think you're doing, inviting her here?" - he asked through gritted teeth, his voice controlled.

The girl frowned.

"Like it or not, Bryce, she's the only mother we've got. Whatever she and Dad did, we can't exactly trade them in for different models."

"So… what, we're inviting them to poke and making up like everything's okay?" - the young surgeon clearly didn't have the same opinion as his little sister. - "They defrauded our friends and neighbors, Keiki. They took advantage of people who trusted them, just for money."

"Everything isn't okay… not yet. But they're making an effort. I know you don’t approve of it, but I’ve been talking to them since I went to boarding school. We're trying to repair our relationship. I just thought that… maybe it was time for you to do the same."

The surgical resident glanced at his mother, who was still patiently waiting in the doorway, wringing her hands nervously, avoiding his gaze. Rei saw his jaw clenching and his whole body hesitating, conflict flashing in his eyes. She put her hands on his arm, Bryce relaxing a little under her touch, and she gently pulled him away.

"Bryce, you don't have to play nice. Your parents hurt you and Keiki. You get to be mad about that, and you don't have to hide it or apologize for it."

A small smile tugged on the corner of his lips.

"Thank you, Rei. I appreciate you having my back. But… I think Keiki might be right. At least about hearing her out. She brought Keiki all the way here and is paying for her tuition, after all."

Rei's dark eyes searched his, unspoken words passing through them, and he squeezed her hand before letting it go off his arm, and walked over to his mother.

The older woman immediately straightened up. Based on her expression, she was fully aware that her son was unhappy to see her, but to her credit, she faced him calmly.

Keiki stepped closer to Rei, a few feet away, watching as they both talked in low and hushed tones in a more secluded corner of the shop. The girl frowned.

"Do you think I did wrong by inviting her here, Rei?"

"Do you think you're wrong?" - Keiki shook her head. - "Then you didn't do anything wrong. You just did what you thought was right and the best for everyone."

Bryce glanced back at them, after something that their mother said, and Keiki nodded pleadingly. He sighed and listened to what the woman had to say.

"...Bryce might not agree with me, but I know he'll try to rebuild his relationship with Mom and Dad, just because I asked." - the teenager resumed talking. - "But I want him to do it - or not - for himself, not because he believes this is the best for me."

Rei smiled and patted her on her back. The Lahela siblings were so similar, both of them were only looking out for each other in the end, although they might have divergent opinions.

"I'll tell him this."

Keiki faced her, an inaudible 'thank you' leaving her lips.

"C'mere, Mom." - they both heard Bryce say, before pulling the middle-aged woman onto a stiff and very awkward hug, but she pulled him close nevertheless, burying her face in her son's shoulder.

After she had finally composed herself, they both parted.

"Mom… this doesn't mean we're okay. We have a lot of trust to rebuild. But… I guess this means I'm willing to try to do that." - he smiled, although Rei noticed that it didn't reach his eyes.

Mrs. Lahela's eyes didn't seem to notice his lack of enthusiasm, as her eyes widened, welling up in tears, on the verge of becoming emotional again. Bryce glanced back to where Rei and Keiki were, an awkward and desperate look on his face, his body tense again, having no idea of what to do.

They both approached them.

"Hey, Bryce, is this your mom? I can see the resemblance." - Rei wore that smile she always used while attending her patients. - "It's lovely to meet you, Mrs. Lahela!"

The three Lahelas started in surprise for a quick moment, before Bryce immediately relaxed, giving her an immensely grateful look, his arms circling around her shoulders to bring her closer. His mother quickly composed herself and smiled back.

"Lovely to meet one of Bryce's friends! You're… Rei, am I right? I heard about you from Keiki."

"Only good things, I hope!"

The girl smirked.

"Mostly."

"Here, Mom, why don't you take a seat… I'll get you and Keiki something to eat and introduce you to my friends." - Bryce said, feeling a lot more relaxed now that Rei was there, right next to him.

"I'm so glad you said that, because I seriously need some poke, stat." - her wry tone defused the tension, and everyone broke in laughter.

Before Rei returned with them to their table, she felt Bryce's hand on her wrist, tugging her gently.

"Thank you, Rei." - he thanked her, a genuine look on his face, and he quickly leaned down to peck her on her forehead. - "I owe you one. Can we talk later?"

"Sure." - she smiled softly at him, before leaving him to order his mother's and Keiki's orders.

By the time she had returned to their table, Keiki was already introducing each of their friends to Mrs. Lahela. They all greeted her with sympathetic smiles and mouths full of poke.

Jackie snooped closer.

"Is the scalpel jockey okay?" - they both turned to glance at him, who was at the queue, looking just fine.

"I guess so. It could have gone much worse." - Rei turned to face her best friend. - "I'll talk to him later."

"Yeah, it's a good idea. Wouldn't want his trip to end on a bad note for him."

"I'm impressed that you're worried about him, Jackie." - Rei arched a brow, smirking jokingly, to which her roommate rolled her eyes.

"You never heard this from me, but he's a good friend."

"Hear what? I heard nothing." - Jackie grinned and they resumed eating.

___________________

The tension seemed to fade away throughout the meal, Keiki telling them all about boarding school, their friends adding their anecdotes about when they were in high school. At some point, Rei felt Bryce's strong arm circling around her waist, pulling her close, smiling softly at her, in which she comfortably leaned against his shoulder, both of them feeling peaceful by each other's presence.

By the corner of her eye, Mrs. Lahela watched the sweet scene, a tinge of happiness and calmness spreading inside her as she finally saw her son's genuine smile for the first time in years. Based on what Keiki told her about Bryce's friends, Rei definitely was the closest one and, according to her daughter, she was his 'crush', although the woman wasn't sure what it meant. But looking at them now, she figured that the young doctor probably was her son's girlfriend.

"Man, after all this food I'll need to take a nap!" - Elijah said as Rafael pushed him out of the shop, all their friends following suit.

"Me too." - Jackie stretched herself.

"Didn't you and Rei spend the whole morning taking a nap?"

"I'm on a vacation, Aurora, this is how I enjoy my time: sleeping."

"C'mon guys, we should all enjoy it to the very last before we're back to Boston tomorrow." - Raf chuckled.

"Ugh, why does the weekend have to end so fast?" - Sienna whined, making them all laugh.

Bryce turned to his sister.

"Great to see you again, sis. Tell me when it's your next school break and I'll take you to somewhere cool."

"Yeah, yeah, don't start going all sappy on me now." - she smiled back.

He visibly tensed as he turned to face his mother, who looked as nervous as him.

"So, huh. I'll call you to know when Keiki's back to school. You'll send her, right?"

"Yes. You can count on me, Bryce."

He gave her a stiff nod, not so sure if he could in fact count on her. But they would see.

"She's a good girl, you know." - Mrs. Lahela said, and his eyes followed hers, instantly settling on Rei a few feet away, with their friends, laughing at something that Jackie said. He couldn't help but smile, the tension in his heart easing a little just by the sight of her.

Bryce could have told his mother that Rei still was just a friend. But it just seemed so unnecessary, since a thought has been around his mind for a while now.

He wanted to be more than just friends with her. And especially after today, he was more sure than ever about it.

The scalpel jockey had decided that he would finally tell her how he truly felt before they were back to Boston. It had to be tonight.

"Yeah, she is." - he agreed in the end, smiling fondly.

After telling his goodbyes, the Lahelas parted their ways, Keiki with Mrs. Lahela. Bryce still looked a bit unsure of letting her go with their mother, but his sister seemed okay with it. He knew that, if something happened, she would tell him.

As he turned around to go back to the hotel with his friends, only Rei was still there waiting for him, the rest of the gang already feet away.

His hand fell comfortably on the small of her back and they started walking at a comfortable pace.

"How are you feeling?"

He sighed.

"I don't know. I definitely didn't expect that would happen."

"You mean seeing your mom or see her crying?"

"Both. But I guess what I was most impressed about is that she actually came and apologized to me and to Keiki, although she wasn't sure if I would forgive her. She told me that. But she did it anyway, because we deserved it, rather we forgave her or not."

"And have you forgiven her? Them?"

"Not yet. And to be honest, I don't know if I ever will. I've spent too many years away and doing fine without them, and I don't know if I'm ready to have them back to my life or ever wanting to. I said that I was willing to give it a try since Keiki asked me to consider it--"

"Your sister said that she wants you to rebuild your relationship with your parents for yourself, because you're willing to do it, not because she asked you to. She knows you, Bryce."

He nodded, before stopping walking and gazing at her.

"Am I a terrible person for not wanting to forgive my parents?"

She took his bigger hands in hers, tracing circles on his skin with her thumbs.

"Of course not. They hurt you and you have every right to feel this way."

"I just don't know how Keiki can forgive and thrust them so easily."

"You left your house almost ten years ago, Bryce. Even though she’d lived with you for the past year, she's spent most of her life with them. Maybe they had changed as time passed or maybe her experience with them had been different. And she isn't you, Bryce. She might see things differently. We don't know."

"Yeah, you're right. I'm just worried that she might forgive them, only for things to get awful again back at home. Although she's in boarding school now."

"If that happens, she'll tell you, Bryce. Remember how she went all the way from here to Boston to stay with you and you weren't even close? You're her safe place, now more than ever." - Rei smiled softly. - "She knows she has you."

He nodded, before grinning.

"And I have you. What would I do without you?"

"You'd do just fine." - she smirked. - "But yes, you have me. I'll always be here for you, Bryce."

Rei saw a genuine, radiant smile spreading on his face, reaching his dark brown eyes, Bryce acting more like his old, both relaxed and confident self. He brushed her hair away, and her eyes flushed closed as she felt his lips on hers, soft and sweet.

"Thank you, Rei." - he murmured, stroking her cheek. He smirked. - "Dammit, there's no way I can take you to my room for a quickie before Ines's wedding, is there?"

The diagnostics team's medical resident blushed slightly before they both shared a laughter as the hotel came into view, their hands entwined together.

___________________

Tag: @nyastarlight @endlessflame @awkwardalbatros @choicesarehard @strangelycami @stillafictosexual @queen-kass-the-writer @indiacater @worldofchoices9-blog @radlovedreamer @fairydustandsarcasm @choicesthot @blackreddish @lilyofchoices @fluffywhitehair @weavingfractals @eileendannie @hellooliviaolivia @lahelable @bucket-harrington @god-save-the-keen @choices97 @allthatglitters2020 @thequeenofpixels @hellomynameisdevi @dreaming-of-movies @maria-lahela @zodiacsign1 @omgjasminesimone @miss-raleigh-carrera @lahellacute @brycesgirl @raleighcarrera @simsvetements @wolverinesbeer @virtuallytakenby @anotherbeingsworld @teenytinytanya08 @srta-give-me-my-jax-rl @sitsoncornflake @jamesashtonisbae @lxdy-starfury @kelseaaa @eleanorbloom @freckles-spangledvampire @choicesficwriterscreations (if you would like to be tagged in (or out of!) upcoming Bryce x MC fanfics/fanarts, please let me know!)

#bryce lahela #bryce lahela x mc #bryce x mc #open heart #playchoices #playchoices fanfiction #playchoices fanfic #choices fanfic #choices fanfiction #choices: stories you play #rei sato #bryce x rei #bryce lahela x rei sato

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taecalikook · 4 years

Text

The Platinum Rules

summary : Being a true fuckboy he truly is, Taehyung only has three rules when dealing with his one night stands. One, never ever wine and dine someone before sleeping with them. Two, never ever stay the night after one night stands. Last one, is never, never ever meet a girl’s parents under any, any circumstance ever. These are his Platinum Rule, the one never break even once and it conveniently keeps him off the hook for anything. But what magic are you playing to have the fuckboy break all his rules for you in a span of only 24 hours?

{fake relationship! au, fuckboy! au, fratboy! au}

pairing : kim taehyung x reader

word counter : 24.556

A.N = Read (Not) Just Friends here! Please be mindful this is in Lia’s perspective in (Not) Just Friends!

================================

“You did not just… You know what? Fuck you, Jeon Jungkook!”

Jungkook snickers, looking at the panicked face of his best friend, Taehyung when he sees he is not the only one in the table. Taehyung should have guessed, though. Since when did Jungkook ever ask for a dinner together other than McDonald and its peers? He thought Jungkook was being nice, wine and dining him for somehow ignoring their best friendship ever since getting himself a new girlfriend. Not that he is unhappy for Jungkook and he’d rather chop off his finger than to admit this, but he misses partying night in and out with him—he is just that whipped for his new girlfriend and decides to take himself off that routinity.

“I only say she is cute once. Once! And I don’t see any reason why you, your girlfriend and Y/N should be having dinner in this fancy ass place! This is a lowkey double date, do you know that?” Taehyung hisses in agitation.

“It doesn’t have to be! No one saying this is a double date beside you.” Jungkook amusedly chuckles, raising both his palm in defeat. “We are just going to have a nice dinner together, bro. As friends.”

Taehyung throws him an annoyed look. “You really going to fucking act like I don’t know you?! You are setting me up with this girl, I knew it! Jungkook, I told you, I am not interested in dating! I know it’s good for you, but I am not chaining myself to that time bomb, thanks.”

“Yeah, yeah whatever. But we are taking too much time in the toilet for two men and people there gonna think we are fucking. Let’s go.” Jungkook mindlessly put an arm on Taehyung’s shoulder, walking back to the desk in which his girlfriend and you are chatting lively. Taehyung takes a deep breath, then launches an elbow kick square to Jungkook’s rib that throws him to coughing fit to get his arms off him.

“I swear when we are done, I’ll punch you in your fucking annoying handsome face.”

Jungkook launches a flirty wink along with a chuckle. “I don’t mind you hitting on me, but my girlfriend is just right here.”

“Hey, you guys. What is taking so long in there?” Jungkook’s girlfriend cheerfully asks and both of the men shake their heads with an awkward smile. God, Taehyung really wants to snap to his own head right now, how he wishes to be anywhere but here. There is actually a party in the female frat he is greatly acquainted with. Should have just gone there to relieve some tense instead.

“They’re probably fucking.” You instinctively murmur, unknowingly too loud and audible to anywhere in the radius of a meter while calmly sipping on the glass of red wine. Your best friend slash roommate gasps, slapping your shoulder—somehow embarrassed.

“Y/N!”

Taehyung glances at the girl pouting in front of him, somehow finding her ironic jokes entertaining. Well, even though he is greatly opposed to the idea of a double date, but hanging out with this girl is probably not the worst idea. Probably beats hanging out alone with Jungkook while he is playing fucking Overwatch.

Well, it goes back to a month ago when Jungkook finally got his shit together and confessed—ugh, the mutual pining seriously sickens him. Even if Taehyung is glad for Jungkook, he is uncertain how he can even settle down after living his greatest life. Man, Jungkook was on the top of the world—good athletic career, good body, beautiful girls—but now that he is settling down, and it kinda makes him uncool in a way. Probably because now he has a girlfriend, he is not really active in all the jock and frat activities like he used to. Girls are already done chasing him, not with that love-sick puppy eyes he has whenever his girlfriend is near—or even far and even with only a month, Taehyung quite had enough. In conclusion, relationships sucks and it changes people, and Taehyung doesn’t want to let go of the great life he is having right now just for settling for one girl. Why only one when he can have more, right?

Then when both Jungkook and Taehyung were hanging out, one night in their shared room, he mistakenly mentioned that you were cute. And he did not lie—he still doesn’t—but it didn’t mean anything! He mentioned dogs are cute probably even a thousand times, but he doesn’t see Jungkook getting him a dog. What’s the difference with saying you were cute? Jungkook is a literal dumbass for even thinking Taehyung can settle for a relationship.

The night goes on, and Taehyung finds himself counting the awkward jokes that have been thrown by Jungkook and his girlfriend about this being a double date and what a great match he is with you. He is literally keeping a tab of everything—waiting for all to be finished so he can finally get the long-awaited revenge he has been counting seconds for. But not that he will say it with his own tongue, he does think that you are cool—as a person. If these pair of idiot gooses are not here, he somehow thinks both of you might actually hit it off—as a good friend, of course.

“God, this is such a great dinner, right?” Your roommate yells, looking mildly buzzed with alcohol. You side-eye her and sigh, resting your glass of wine back. One thing about your best friend is she favors red wine a little too much, and sipping on the beverage like there is no tomorrow. Jungkook holds her hand across the table, eyes filled with adoration.

“Are you okay, pumpkin? You look drunk.” Jungkook coos with a warm smile, and she smiles back, a wide smile painted on her lips. Taehyung literally feels the urge to puke just listening to the affection lacing in his tone. God, love really changes Jungkook.

“You know what? I love you, Jungkookie!” She suddenly stands up, crashes into Jungkook’s arm, gives him a haste kiss on the lips, right before walking drunkenly outside. Her surprised boyfriend swiftly chases her away, before signaling Taehyung to pay for their dinner. Taehyung is baffled on the side. Jungkook that bastard seriously invited him for this horrendous dinner, yet still asking him to pay? Fucker! But as he notices your eyes prodding his way, he quickly puts on a composed face, giving you a thin smile.

“I think that concludes this very, very confusing but yet pleasant dinner.” Taehyung smiles, while asking for the bill. “I am sorry if you are forced into this dinner. This new couple think they got the right to play immortal on us, right?” He cynically jokes and laughs at it, but your face is too straight to respond so his chuckle is slowing to a complete stop.

“I’m actually the one asking for this double date.” You whisper, an unexplainable emotion rushing on your tone. “I’m the one saying I want her to set us up so we can be together. I like you. I want to be with you, Taehyung. Forever. You—you want this too, right?”

The fear on Taehyung’s chest is instantly risen, seeing the crazy, psychopathic look in your eyes. Well he really thought you are not the type to stick up only after a dinner—but he cannot deny his instinct does disappoint him way too much than he could even be proud of. The instant urge to leave the spot and escape is too much with his feet are already out the table until you break it with a loud, hearty chuckle. “God! Messing with fuckboys is soooo fun! I can’t believe you fall for that!”

Taehyung scrunch his eyebrow, detecting the unexpected jubilant look on your face. He is bewildered.

Seeing that Taehyung still is not getting your very, very obvious joke, you sigh. Dumbass fuckboy. His cocky ass big head does not surprise you even a little. “God, I was kidding! Sorry to break it to you—it may be too hard to understand, but not every girl will be willing to take turns sucking your dick, dude. Sorry, life be like that.” You sarcastically note, setting your napkin on the table and Taehyung feels somehow relaxed and offended at the same time. Weird emotions, really.

“I don’t even know why I am here.” You continue, displaying a friendly smile now, reaching out for your glass of wine. “Should have known. I fell for this fake dinner thing too many times now, gonna reject every dinner invitation from now on.”

Taehyung grins, finally able to breathe easily. Well, he deals with way too many obsessive and stuck up one night stands now that it even terrifies him to be around them, so that’s that. You are too cool to be like one of them, he just knew it.

“Gotta make an exception for me, though.” Taehyung cheekily musters, suddenly surging a confidence on his own skin. You are already dominating the conversation too long now, he just had to take over. “How else can I get to know you better, huh?”

Being a true fuckboy he really is, Taehyung only has three rules when dealing with one night stands. One, never ever wine and dine someone before sleeping with them, as dinner is a very, very intimate thing that involves a lot of real talks—instead of dirty talks in which he is way, way better on. Two, never ever stay the night after one night stands, as sunshine is just a sign that he has spent more than necessary time with her and can only result in any bothersome attachment after. Last one, and probably the rule that has no exception whatsoever, is never, never ever meet a girl’s relatives under any, any circumstance ever. The three rules are all based on his experience learning it the hard way, and ever since, he never broke even a rule and it greatly keeps him off the hook for anything.

But albeit important, he will let himself break his first rule for you. Only because you are hot—and probably is included in the one percent population of girls who doesn’t need to be reminded that he is not looking for anything but a short fun. A lot of girls tend to forget that easily, getting to attached to what a gentleman he is before and during sex, and always become such a bother after. But he’ll trust this one that you’re not that kind of girl. Even with a bruise on his pride, since he is slightly doubtful if you’ll even agree to his proposal for hooking up tonight. At least, teasing you is already a great enough entertainment for him.

“Boy, I don’t want to know who that can actually work with, but I’m not that difficult to get to bed with.” You chuckle at his pathetic attempt to work his way inside your skirt. Taehyung raises his eyebrow, not believing his own hearing. You are glancing down now—probably to the phone on your lap and your face instantly contorts, and a sigh of tiredness escapes your lips. “I’m way too tired now anyway, better just go back home, fuck and get it over with.”

“W-what? You seriously want to fuck, willingly with me just like that?”

You give his shoulder a pity pat, a thin smirk on your lips. “God, Taehyung, do you actually need to work that hard to get laid all these time?”

“B-but, you just said every girl—”

“I changed my mind.” You sigh, getting tired of the constant queries, along with the message you just received. Jackasses, seriously. “Taehyung, I’m tired. Let's go pay and head back to my apartment. I think the cringy couple will not be there, but fuck them, let them hear us fucking so loud they need to follow as well.”

Taehyung cannot even believe the crude answer coming out from such beautiful, innocent lips, yet the intense anticipation of what’s about to come his way is too unbearable he could not wait even a second to get you under him and win his dominance back. At the cashier, Taehyung quickly slaps a card on the table with his foot swiftly tapping on the floor in impatience. You can’t help but to find that strangely adorable, yet disgusting at the same time. You are seriously hooking up with the worst fuckboy in your university. Never thought you'd stoop this low, but that’s life, right? Let’s see if he can put his money where his mouth is.

Seeing that Taehyung does not show any sign of asking your part of the bill, you are quick to remind him. “Taehyung, I will pay you back, okay? I’ll transfer it.”

“What? There’s no need for that, honey.” Taehyung whispers smoothly, putting in his pin with a wink. “It’s just a small thing I can do for a beautiful lady such as you.’

You snort at his cringy remark, greatly bothered by his every word. “Taehyung, seriously, stop. Any effort you have to do just to get laid will make everything worse.” Taehyung smiles to himself, somehow expecting the snarky remarks even before he threw the stupid comment. You are surely one of a kind. “And I’ll pay you back. This is not a date, and I’m not a prostitute, you don’t have to pay for me.”

The unexpected aggression and anger coming from you quite blow him off his edge, as you thomp furiously to exit the restaurant. Are you seriously saying that you are bothered by him willing to pay for dinner? Taehyung is all down for feminism, but he was literally just being nice—and beside, Jungkook is literally going to stab him with a fork if he ever lets you pay, so that’s that.

But one realization comes to his mind—he is not going to deal with you long enough to think about your weird trait again. Tonight, all he needs to do is suck everything—and he means, everything. And when he leaves before midnight, then all will be just fine.

It’s weird.

Taehyung slowly flutters open his eyes, oddly feeling ten times better than he has been recently after waking up. He doesn’t even know why—probably the wonderful scent of vanilla and citrus that is vivid on his smell. But wait—what the fuck? That’s probably the one of the furthest things he will ever wake up to! He should be waking up annoyed by strong scent of sweat and cheap male perfume, not this.

Fuck, fuck! That ceiling—the light blue ceiling with countless translucent fake stars, that’s not his ceiling either. He was supposed to be looking at a cringy, old poster of Metallica on his dorm room ceiling. And this excessively comfortable, dark blue fur blanket hugging his waist, that’s most absolutely not his. And god, who the damn is he holding right now?!

“What the fuck! Why are you still here?!”

Well that is literally the words he had on his mind just a second ago, yet surprisingly it is not him who is yelling. It is a girl he had a nice dinner with yesterday—with red wine and everything. The girl who was too prideful to let him pay, and the girl who strangely manages to throw him off his game with their continuous three rounds of dirty, dirty sex and God, he swears he never cum harder before in his life—and it says a lot because he does lots of sex. Like a lot. Yup, it’s you.

God, he shouldn’t be here, he should just head home right after sex. He broke his second rule, right after breaking his first one last night, even worsewith the same girl—you. What the fuck is wrong with himself?!

“You said you would leave after a ten minutes nap!” You hiss, clearly disliking the fact that you have to wake up seeing his annoyingly handsome face—with bed hair mussed deliciously and all. Is it weird that you are feeling terribly ugly right now with him still looking like a handsome sex god on your bed? And still feeling his arm around your wait, you groan in disgust. “And why the fuck are you holding me?! Seriously, you are the worst one night stand ever.”

Taehyung quickly detaches himself off you like you are a disease, yet no offense taken since you are glad he is finally a distance away. “I was fucking tired after fucking three rounds yesterday, I think I fell asleep longer than I thought.” You roll your eyes since all you hear is bullshit. “And for your information, I always sleep hugging my bolster. And since you are fucking weird and do not have a bolster, I guess I just settle for less.” He reasons, but you respond with a snort.

“And the worst one night stand ever—are you kidding me? Funny I don’t recall you saying that last night when I generously let you cum in my tongue.” Taehyung continues with a smug, and you can’t help but to feel heated at the memory of last night, Taehyung finally used his mouth for a better cause for once—since you despise it when he is talking. Yet there is no use denying that Taehyung is indeed a master with his tongue, but of course you’d rather cut your arm rather than admitting it to his cocky ass face.

“Pssh—like you weren’t begging to have a taste.” You sinisterly defend yourself and Taehyung chuckles, vaguely shrugging as an answer. You involuntarily stare at his smiling face, and you have to admit he does look his best with it. God, are you seriously thinking such domestic thoughts with this fuckboy right now? The alcohol must still have an effect on you.

“Why are you staring at me? Finally realize that you should have just jumped on my bone again instead of doing this strange, pillow talk?” Taehyung impishly grins so you land a strong punch on his bare chest with all your might. He lets out a definite cough, definitely not expecting the strength coming out from such a small frame like yours. “Damn woman, what exactly are you?!”

“A girl that can definitely kick your naked ass out of her apartment if you don’t leave in five.” You solemnly warn. Taehyung let out a light laugh, shuffling out of your blanket with no shame whatsoever with his straight out of womb nakedness to grab his clothes. And you cannot bear to notice how apparent his morning wood is—and it brings pleasant yet unnecessary memories of last night to your mind. You seriously need to get a hold of yourself cause if not, you might have to play with yourself after and you don’t really want to get off with the thought of him for the fourth time now. “For the love of God, Taehyung! Put some clothes on!”

Taehyung is unimpressed, pointing at his clothes like it’s the most obvious thing. “What are you—yes, I’m doing it right now, you idiot. And I’m using your bathroom first, I don’t want to look like a fucking idiot, walking around the campus with a morning hard on.” He pouts, but then a smirk formed on his lips. “Or you want to lend a hand with this?”

You shut him with a pillow thrown to his annoying, smug face. “The fuck no. And what, no you can’t!” You answer in panic, pointing to your door. “We only have a shared bathroom here. Let me check if my roommate is out.”

Taehyung sighs. “Y/N, you literally told me last night to fuck as loud as we can and let them hear so they can follow.” Listening to him quoting you from last night, you internally wince. You literally don’t have any trace of ever saying that in your vague memory. God, you must had been drunker than you thought.

“That’s just the drunk and horny talking.” You hiss, trying to steal a peek through the door. There is no sign of your roommate, so everything should be good to go. Or at least you think so. “The cocky ass new couple will be all over our asses, Tae. They will think something is up, try setting us up like yesterday. Ugh, no thanks. You have to leave without anyone knowing.”

“Hate to say you are kinda correct in that one, buddy.” Taehyung sighs. He literally said he was going to punch Jungkook for arranging the dinner, yet now he was the one taking advantage of it. He would not let Jungkook win on that one—he still desperately needs that one punch chance or that fuckers will never let it slip ever, even until the day he is well rested and buried. “Okay, is she out now? Jungkook is not there, right?”

Like a cue of bad luck, your roommate and Jungkook walk out of her room, hand in hand with each other right to sit on the sofa. Jungkook kisses the tip of her head, caressing the side of her face while scrolling through netflix on the tv. “I can’t believe we are watching Taken for the hundred times already just so you can fulfill your Liam Neeson odd kink.” Jungkook impassively huffs.

“God, Liam Neeson kink? Your roommate is fucking weird.” Taehyung lowly whispers, all of a sudden already squatting beside you. You jump a few steps back due to the shock of seeing his face up close, clutching your chest dramatically.

“Damn, can you stop shocking me?!”

Taehyung greasily winks. “Baby, I don’t think anything should shock you after seeing my dick in all its glory.”

You fold your chest, slightly amused but majorly annoyed by his unending arrogance. “Ugh, don’t baby me. And well, I am still shocked probably because I don’t think your dick is outstanding whatsoever.”

Taehyung ignores your stubborn, obviously a lie remark, and continues peeking from the door crack. “God, a film. Probably take them one or two hours. But I think Jungkook has practice in… one and a half hours, so maybe I can go by then.”

Your frown turns deeper, dreading the imagination of spending another hour with him, locked in your 3x5 meters room. Are you even capable of holding yourself from strangling off his cocky, annoying head? This could probably be the greatest challenge you will ever have to face.

“What should we do for an hour and a half….” Taehyung whispers to himself, sends you a suggestive look while wiggling his eyebrows. You quickly send him your middle finger as an answer, already rejecting whatever idea he has since you are well aware there is no possibility you will like it.

“I am not suggesting to fuck, sorry if you were expecting that.” Taehyung lopsidedly smirks, and you fold your arm in agitation. God, you wish everything can be over so you can go to your parents home and call it a week. And it’s saying a lot since you never look forward to going back home every weekend. “I won’t refuse, but I just want to play now. Do you play animal crossing?”

“Seriously?! You play too?!” You are surprised to say the least, voice unforeseen raising in delight. You really do not expect a fuckboy like Taehyung would play a game like animal crossing—you thought he would hold on to that toxic masculinity and play whatever popular ‘boy’ games right now. It is strangely a nice surprise. “Can I visit your island? Let’s trade too! I have bamboo shoot lamp, log dining table—”

Taehyung chuckles, seeing how passionate you are, scrambling to get your nintendo from your night desk and turning it on while blabbering non stop about your items. He strangely finds it endearing, how drastic you can be when you are not trying to kick him out with a torch and pitchfork and it only takes a freaking animal crossing game. You are tremendously unpredictable, and he finds himself liking the refreshing change of pace. He walks back to your bed, sitting beside you while you animatedly chatter about your island.

Is it too wistful to wish that the current strange yet greatly amusing thing going for the both of you does not have to end now?

After being firsthand kicked out from your apartment when Jungkook went to his practice, Taehyung walks to the basement to get to his car in a strange mood. It’s Saturday, yet he doesn’t know what to do or where to go. There is another frat party that will be held tonight, yet he finds himself less than excited to go. He loves parties, but he is not delusional to think that he will love it forever—he is already in a phase of finding parties are monotonous and boring most times. Yet going home is not really a convenient option since there is no use—it’s empty anyway. Frankly, he doesn’t even know what home to him really is. Is it his dorm? Is it the party? Yet they probably give him a better definition of home rather than his own real house.

So Taehyung decides to drive his car back to his apartment on the other side of the town, far from his parents house. The upside of being a child of divorce is probably being shoved money to his mouth like it's the only thing that matters—yet he doesn’t mind. Or maybe he does, but there is no use in complaining, right? He is 21 now, he is over that complaining, depressed phase of his life. Maybe take a couple of depressants tonight, cry a little to sleep and he should be fine. Or maybe he’ll schedule a session with his psychiatrist—he has been missing lots of sessions and it may or may not has taken a toll on him already.

After arriving his car inside the apartment building, Taehyung sighes on his seat, a great exhaustion painted on his face—and he literally is. Just a few hours ago he was able to momentarily forget every issue in his life, but after he is alone, the anguish of loneliness hits him like a ton of brick. He is alone. He is nobody. Nobody likes him, even his own parents. He is just an emotionless shithead who is not right in the head. Who is he to think that he is worthy? Nothing in his life he achieves with his own hands, and life is just a constant train of problems and disappointment. It will never go the other way, since happiness is not for him.

Taehyung rests his head on the wheels, shutting his eyes tight to handle the tears coercing to rain out. No! He doesn’t want to cry now! Even then the ugly tears won’t stop coming out, and he tries to find purchase by hitting his head on the wheel. He enjoys the pain. The pain he is feeling right now—it never felt so right before.

Right until someone knocks on his window, simultaneously stopping his current emotional breakdown. He looks up—probably looking like an ugly, crying mess, expecting the security with an disapproving look on his face for the nth time. But instead he finds someone that instantly melts his whole being—somehow successfully distracting him from the intrusive thoughts he was having.

“Taehyung, are you okay? Hey come out, you have been there for awhile now.”

Taehyung quickly sweeps his tears with his sleeve, fixing the hairs on his forehead to conceal the bruise that might be formed from hitting it multiple times to the wheel and look down. God, this is embarrassing! He never thought he would meet her again in this situation—it seems like life is playing games on him and he despises it for her to always find him in such a ridiculous situation.

“Mina, hi.” Taehyung stutters nervously, somehow avoiding his neighbor prodding eyes that always sends him to nervous bundles. “I—I don’t know you’re home.”

“What are you saying, I’m always home.” Mina chuckles, pointing at the paper bag filled with groceries. “Just came back from grocery shopping. I am cooking pasta today. You wanna join?”

Taehyung looks at her sincere eyes, silently thankful that she is not going to mention his previous breakdown—not that she ever does. Whenever she witnesses his breakdown; crying in his car, hearing screams when he feels suffocated, things being thrown away, and even that one time he brought his one night stands back to his apartment and the girl runs out crying due to his unpleasant way of shooing her away; Mina never judges. She would come knocking at his door, asking him to join her watching the TV, or eating the less than edible food she cooks herself. It’s always a great time with her, and Taehyung could not lie that he feels greatly comfortable with her presence.

“I would love to. Kinda unsure if I won’t get a digestion issue after eating it, though—but i’ll take my chances.” Taehyung smirk cheekily. The girl scowls, shoves him away with her free hand, and strides inside the apartment lobby without waiting for him. Taehyung warmly smiles, quickly walks to her side to walk to their neighboring apartment. “Here, let me take that for you.” Taehyung instinctively grabs the load off her arm. Mina smiles, pressing the lift button to their apartment level.

“It’s been such a long time since your last visit, Tae.” She is staring intently on the man beside her. It was too much for Taehyung, causing his heart pounding faster than normal. He bit his lips, looking anywhere else but her.

“I missed you.” She whispers.

That is it. The word he longs and needed to hear the most—ironically not only from her, but from everyone. And now Mina is saying it to her, Taehyung feels like he is about to cry from the overwhelming emotion. Oh, how he wishes he could say the reason behind his absence. But no, he has to be strong, at least this once. So he forces a thin smile, and tries to change the topic to anything else.

After five minutes full of small talks and keeping up with each other’s lives, Taehyung and Mina finally arrive in front of her apartment door. She shuffles on her purse. “Wait, I’m grabbing my keys.”

“No shit sherlock.”

Right when she swings open the door, someone is already waiting inside, waiting on the couch while watching Pororo. “Mama!” She squeals in delight, running to Mina’s grasp with her two ponytails waving through the air, then clutching onto her for dear life. “And Taehyung oppa is here too!” She shouts in delight, changing her target now to Taehyung for a hug. Mina instinctively retrieves the paper bag from him so he scoops the little girl and holds her close.

“Oppa, I miss you so much! I haven’t seen you since forever!” The five years old pouts, lightly hitting his chest with her cute, little fist. Taehyung quickly gives her a kiss on the cheek—oh, how he adores the little girl in his arms now.

“Sorry, oppa is busy. But it’s okay since he is here now!” He smiles, trying to lighten up her mood. She is the whole reason that Taehyung is here in the first place—the little gremlin he loves so much, probably even more than himself. She is Yuna, Mina’s daughter.

Mina is two years older than Taehyung, and she was married three years ago to a man with a daughter. The man is away most of the time for his job offshore, and is back every three to six months. When Taehyung bought the apartment they were already living there—the first neighbor that welcomes him warmly regardless of how unwelcoming he was, as he hated socializing with new people. But they never exchange anything beside a short, civil smile until one day.

Everything changed on the day Taehyung was about to head for class, he found an unannounced guest standing by his door—a four-years-old Yuna, unknowingly went out while her stepmother was sleeping. Yuna was lost, crying out loud because she couldn't get back inside. Taehyung was well aware of the identity of the toddler, so he instantly knocked on his neighbor's door while holding Yuna’s petite hand on his side.

After finding the fact that her daughter was put in danger by her own carelessness, Mina cried, feeling totally remorseful for forgetting to lock the door. She mentioned she was so exhausted, finishing all night for her upcoming book and having to clean Yuna and the house after. Later that night she invited Taehyung for a thank you dinner, which did not really go well since she couldn’t cook for shit—but still insisting to. Yet even with an upset stomach, Taehyung never felt as comfortable as when he was having dinner with her. At that time, he was severely lonely and needed a friend. That’s how it began—he would always knock on her door, and she always welcomed him with open arms. He got addicted to hanging around Mina and her beautiful daughter.

Yet it was a very foolish thing to even let himself believe hanging around nearly every single day around a married woman is harmless—because he was and still is an idiot and somehow, against all odds and his own cynical thoughts, he caught feelings. Bad. But how could he not? Mina was probably the kindest, the most beautiful soul he has ever met. She always knows the right thing to say at the right time, and being around her always makes him feel hundred times better. She sees the real him, instead of the dumb, rich and messed up fuckboy everyone sees him nearly everywhere. Like seeing her and talking to her—he could finally breathe after holding it for the longest time.

But it was not long until every illusion Taehyung had fell through. Mina’s husband came back home from his three months offshore work and that's exactly when he faced a cold truth that nothing was ever going to work out anymore. Mina is married to a very kind man as well, and Taehyung would never go against his sanity and ruin it—especially when he knew who would be the most affected by it. It’s Yuna, the most wonderful child who has frankly gone through a lot after her birth mother passed away a few years back from cancer. Taehyung is a child of divorce for god sake, he knew how painful it was for the child like the back of his hand. He would rather die than to be the one doing it to her. That’s the sole reason he has been avoiding Mina and Yuna at all cost. All because he wants to protect the two girls he adores so much.

“Oppa, I am still waiting to play the toy with you! Come play with me!” Yuna cries, promptly running inside her room to grab a few of her new toys. Taehyung easily complies, walking to the living room and detecting a bunch of very Yuna-typical toys—zombies. She always loved playing plants vs zombies on her device, so he bought her zombie and plants toys on her birthday two months ago, but never got to play them before with her. Yet when the large toy on her little grasp is close, Taehyung detects that it is still securely sealed.

“Yuna, you never played this before? Don’t you like it?” Taehyung is saddened at the fact that the girl never played with the toy he gave. But Yuna fervently shakes her head, comfortably sits on Taehyung’s lap like old times and leans on his chest.

“I like it! But I want to play it with oppa first!” Yuna smiles widely, showing her missing front teeth and Taehyung is unable to hold his smile. The girl is literally the cutest girl ever to exist and he is willingly smitten into her cute charms. Taehyung pecks her cheek in fondness before helping her in opening the box of toys.

After a great forty minutes passed, Yuna is already exhausted, sleeping on Taehyung’s chest since she spends too much of her energy screaming, laughing while playing with her plants vs zombie toys and figurines. He leans on the sofa, caressing the top of the five year old head sleeping on his arms, gazing at her serene sleeping face. She looked very content and happy, and seeing her like this is therapeutic for him.

“Taehyung, let me get her to her room. Let’s eat, the pasta is ready.” Mina whispers, and he nods, letting the woman take her child to her bedroom. Taehyung coughs, a strange feeling suddenly runs through his mind at how domestic all of these feels. God, he told himself a million times that this should not happen—he was trying his best to evade getting too attached with them to the point that he next to never comes back to his own apartment anymore—yet one accidental visit and he is now back at one. This is ridiculous!

Finding no other solution than trying to survive another thirty minutes without making a fool, or even derangedly hurting himself in the process, Taehyung takes a seat on the dining table with a decent looking pasta served on it. The hurried steps of Mina are heard and Taehyung quickly clears his throat. This is it, Taehyung. Just one lunch, and that’s all. You can finally go back to your apartment.

“Let’s eat! I actually tried cooking this exact recipe before, and I know it tastes good. I’ve been practicing, you know.” Mina grimaces, remembering the time Taehyung vomited when her so-called scallops were badly cooked and his stomach was greatly upset, causing Taehyung to skip his classes for a full week. Seeing how nervous she is unknowingly brings a smile on his lips. “At least you won’t throw up this time, trust me.”

“I kinda doubt it, but let’s go.” Taehyung teases, while Mina scoops a portion to his plate. He nods gratefully, with the nerves gradually increasing. This annoying voice on his head keeps repeating the thing he is most afraid of, but he pushes it away and musters a thin smile. No. He’ll finish the lunch, run back to his apartment, and never come back for another four months. That’s better.

One habit whenever Taehyung is nervous is he always runs a finger through his hair. The said habit being done is pushing away the strands of hair on his forehead, exposing a palpable bruise which faintly bleeds due to the great force of knocking his forehead on the wheel during his latest breakdown in the car. Seeing how concerning the injury has looked with a smear of blood is evident on his forehead, Mina jumps on her seat in worry. “God—Tae! Your forehead, it bleeds!”

Yup, it is. Taehyung coherently snorts when touching the forehead with his palm, seeing a hint of blood on it. He is instantly aware of the pain. What a fucking idiot he is—god, when will he stop making a fool of himself?

“Wait, I’ll grab some meds, okay?”

Mina walks to one of the cabins, then returns with a box of first-aid kits to his side. She takes a seat beside him, pointing it so she can comfortably access the bleeding bruise on Taehyung’s forehead. One thing that she might be clueless about is how nervous Taehyung is, heart rate abnormally fast just by seeing her face in such close proximity—so close he can even spot the little mole on the side of her nose bridge—while the familiar, refreshing scent of lilac is radiating off her. She is tending his bruise carefully, her left fingers secured on his left jaw to keep him in place, and Taehyung's head literally spins. How can someone be this beautiful?

At one point, everything is too much to handle for Taehyung. He likes Mina, this beautiful, married woman that somehow gets him better than everyone, but he can never be with her. He could not let himself fall even deeper and do something he will most absolutely regret after. “Mina, stop. It’s—it’s enough.” He breathes lowly, abruptly losing his ability to speak, especially when her lips are just a breath away for him to touch. But he knows they were overstepping the boundary and desperately needs to stop. It’s not right.

Then at once, the confusion on Mina’s face turns into remorse and the next thing both of them know that their lips are touching, both eyes closed with Mina’s hands secured on each side of his shoulders. He is now kissing Mina.

Taehyung cannot lie that he did imagine about kissing her before. Yet at that time, the only thing he feels is disgust, ten times worse than he already feels for himself. Not even a second felt right—a flash of his broken family went through his mind. He just stopped to another level of low; he is kissing a married woman.

“Mina, stop! We cannot do this.” Taehyung gruffly pushes her away, quickly standing up with a heavy urge to vomit coming out from his stomach. It’s disgusting, he is disgusting. Not that he is miserable with himself, he just became a cause of someone else’s misery. He is really the bad guy in every story.

“I-i’m sorry. I’m sorry, Taehyung. I-i know it was wrong, I don’t know what has gotten into me—”

Taehyung is irritated beyond words, his face reddening while he furiously scrubs the remnants of the kiss on his lips with no holding back whatsoever. He is disgusted with himself, and frankly he is disgusted with Mina. He never should have come here. There’s literally nothing good will ever come out on meeting the married woman he somehow liked—and a realization is dawned on him. He just sinned Yuna. The innocent, five-years-old girl that deserves happiness more than anyone else in this whole world. It feels like he already hit rock bottom, like he just wanted to throw himself off a cliff.

“It is wrong!” Taehyung aggressively hisses, quickly walking to the living room to grab his belongings, yet finding the toys he just played with Yuna results in him feeling uncomfortably nauseous. This is the worst thing that could ever happen to him.“This, this never happened. It’s better for us to not see each other again.” He runs to the door with great fury, before a whimper of his name is heard. Mina is calling him.

Yet he is unable to walk away without seeing her one last time. Hearing her voice calling his name. Listening to what she is about to say.

“Taehyung, I’m sorry.”

After running away from the encounter with Mina, he called his super that he is selling the apartment right away. He has to close everything—every little chance of seeing Mina, and sadly even Yuna. Taehyung desperately needs some space, and so does her. It’s better not to see each other again.

Hence, now he has nowhere to go. Going back to his dorm is not an option—he is currently at the lowest point of his life and seeing anyone from college is never a convenient option. So that night, Taehyung decides to spend the night in his car, parked on the side of Han River. It’s a place for him whenever he is sad. A place that always reminds him that he is still too scared to die. A place to remind him that somehow, he still yearns his life to go the other way. A better one.

And at one point, after bawling his eyes out, he is desperate to feel the wind slapping his face and knock some sense into him. He exits the car, taking his time to walk to the side of the river, hands secured inside his pocket. He closes his eyes, taking in the cold wind and feels it rushing through his face. The cold was definitely a tid bit much—probably to the point he couldn’t feel his face, but he somehow prefers it.

But he is most absolutely unable to stand another minute clenching at the rail of the river, so he walks to the nearest bench, placed under a tree. It is more convenient—the wind is hundred times kinder and he can finally feel his face. And all of a sudden, his phone rings. He half-heartedly steals a glance, finding an unknown number. He easily rejects the call, before it rings once again. And again, and again until he annoyedly picks up just to shout his agitation to whoever is on the other side of the call.

“Is this—is this Taehyung?”

The familiar yet so strange voice welcomes him, and the anger on the tip of his tongue dissolves. But he is still uncertain of his hypotheses on the identity of the caller on the other side. “Yes. Who is this?”

“Hi, sorry, this is Y/N. I know we just met and I am not even your acquaintance or anything, but can I ask for your help this time? I swear I owe you one after, but please just help me with this one.”

It’s Y/N. It’s seriously you on the other side, yet Taehyung could not believe his ears. Is his hearing deceiving him right now? You made it clear that seeing him again could be the second worst thing to happen to her—after a meteor suddenly falls and crashes on your favorite Mexican restaurant—but now you are calling him, not even a day after your last meeting? There must be something serious, and a bizarre worry immediately fills his head. “Y/N, what is it? What happened? Tell me.”

“I-I’m afraid I can’t tell you. But this is urgent, can you help me with this one? I promise I’ll pay the favor back, I swear.”

Taehyung discards the light insulted feeling on how you mention you’ll pay him back like your life depends on it, and instead focuses on the urgency in your tone. You seem greatly rushed, worried and almost scared, and never would he ever imagine of saying no to that. “Of course, Y/N. What is it, I’ll try helping the best I can.”

“Can I ask where are you right now? I need to go somewhere really urgent, can you take me there?”

Taehyung looks warily around him. There’s only an old lady with her dogs just walking past him. He is quite far from the crowd. “I am in Han River now. Where are you? I can pick you up from there.”

“No need, I’m actually quite near. Can you send me your location?”

And that’s how Taehyung spends another 10 minutes, trying to make out your face amongst the people walking around him. While focusing on the people passing around, suddenly a cold hand slaps his shoulder and sends Taehyung on his toes, startled beyond words. “Fuck, Y/N! You can’t startle me like that!”

“I’m sorry, Taehyung.” You apologetically wince, holding the black duffle bag close to your chest. “I won’t startle you again. That if we ever meet again, which I don’t really hope to. Can we go now?”

Taehyung rolls his eyes at your warm words. “Just a thing everyone expects from the person who is just asking for help, right?”

You smile widely until your eyes turn into mooncreases, and Taehyung feels his throat stricken dry. “Let’s go, Taehyung. I’ll tell you the direction.”

And that’s how you are for the second time seated in Taehyung’s black Audi, with him smoothly driving it in accordance to your directions. You bite your lips in nerve, occasionally stealing a glance at Taehyung who is busy driving, looking around the streets with hesitation. Of course he would be, the direction you are giving must be unfamiliar for nearly everyone sane. “Hey. Can I ask you something?”

You don’t want Taehyung to question where you are heading right now—as he will instantly dump your ass on the street with no second question asked. “Yes?” You whisper faintly, crossing your fingers that it would be anything but that question.

“Can I turn on the music? Are you okay with that?”

The tense on your body crashes down with an exhale. “Of course. It’s your car, Taehyung, you can do anything with it.”

Taehyung snorts. “I am just being nice. I seriously think you might be a grinch for any kind of fun, the type to love creepy, dead silence while driving.”

“You are seriously a child.” You shake your head in disbelief, and Taehyung's lean forefinger taps the music button, connecting to his phone. “And god, you seriously got no other car, Taehyung? A less flashy one, I guess?”

Taehyung smiles proudly, patting the wheel with affection evident in his eyes. “No. Cecil is my baby, and I would never trade her for anything else.”

You groan at the foreign name. “Who the fuck is Cecil? God, don’t tell me you’re that creep who names dead stuff.”

“Hey! You don’t know how long and what kind of things Cecil has gone through with me.” Taehyung literally yells. He is one peculiar pea, but you are in no place to judge anyway. You are literally a nobody. “And you can’t tell me that, Cecil is the one who is helping your ass to wherever we are going right now.”

You decide not to prolong the abnormal debate you had with Taehyung, so you turn silent and point to the direction of your destination. When the car is heading to dark, narrower streets, Taehyung realizes they are already too far outside downtown, in a place where he knows he would never visit in any possible scenarios in his life ever.

“Y/N, I know I am not supposed to ask anything, but this is getting creepy and I just need to know why the fuck are we in this creepy, suspicious place?” Taehyung hisses, noticing that everything is too dreadful to be true. He doesn’t even know this place to ever exist in Seoul—that’s if they are still in town. “Where are you taking me?! God, don’t tell me you are going to murder me, take Cecil with you and sell her away?! Please don’t do it, especially the last one!”

You sigh at his nonsense, frankly tired and majorly nervous since your destination is already near. You glance at the message displayed on your phone. He is already waiting. “God, Taehyung. We are just five minutes away, just drop me off anywhere and you can run off after.”

“What? No! What about you? How are you going home this late, and from this creepy ass place?!” Taehyung stares at you, and you can find a genuine worry in his eyes for your well being. God, you are speaking nonsense, since there is no way Taehyung can even have feelings for you other than lust, and that’s just fact.

“It’s okay, someone will take me home.” You doubtfully answer, wanting Taehyung to swallow your lies even if you are not so sure yourself. Somehow you doubt the man you are meeting now will have the heart to take you home after this. You can just grab a taxi or bus—if they are still available—after anyway, it should not be an issue, right? But even self pep talk does not change a thing, you are still scared beyond words. This neighborhood indeed terrifies you, especially at night.

The car is now settled in front of the dark building that you identify as your destination. “Are you sure, Y/N?” Taehyung mindfully asks one more time with hesitation fills his gaze. At the persistence, you are slightly touched. “I don’t know what you are doing or who you are meeting there, I won’t ask. But I swear, I don’t mind waiting for you.”

You have a hard time believing—when was the last time someone cares for your safety like this? Life has been just a constant repetition of pushing anyone away from nearly half of the things going on with you, and to have someone you clearly is just using and still greatly show his concern is so strange. Maybe it’s time to admit that Taehyung is not just the heartless fuckboy you expect him to be. He may be more than that.

But no, you don’t need to involve him further inside the mess you are in, and he won’t be near long enough to stay so no need to get in such depth with him. And only god knows what would happen to an elegant, once in a lifetime seen black expensive Audi parked in this neighborhood. “Taehyung, no. I’ll get home safe, I swear.”

Taehyung does not want to push his agenda, even if he is still unable to turn off the alarms at the back of his head. “Sure, if that’s what you want. At the very least please let me know when you arrive, or if anything happens, okay?”

You nod, not really sure what to reply to his untypical concern. But then the annoying Taehyung is back as he mutters the next reply. “Or don’t. I just realized I left my charge somewhere and my battery is dying, probably not gonna see them till the next two days.”

“You are fucking annoying.” You spit with a sarcastic smile and Taehyung chuckles lightly, lightening up the mood. “See you, Tae. And thank you for taking me, I owe you one.”

You walk inside, finding Taehyung’s Audi is still parked there. Seeing how he vaguely gets caught inside your mess, and you feel apologetic. You huff, braving youself to knock on the door, then find a man that has been blowing up your message for a while now. He holds you close, taking you inside the house with odd affection. “Baby, who is that with a black, expensive car? Is that your new boyfriend?”

You look at him, trying to keep your composure straight. You really do not want this despicable man in front of you to get any strange idea whatsoever about Taehyung. “He is not.” You adamantly hiss, pretending nonchalance. “He is here because you, somehow cannot pick me the fuck up. There is no uber or taxi that wants to get me here at this time of the night, and I swear to god you better get me home.”

That man pulls you closer, his lips closing on your side jaw and his arms circling your waist. All of a sudden, your resolve crumbles at his familiar touches. “I miss you, baby. And don’t worry about going home, you can stay the night here.”

His lips are swiftly grazing your sweet spot, right at your collarbone and you instinctively let out a moan of pleasure when he sucks on it like there is no tomorrow—to the point it will surely leave evident hickeys. God, he really knows you like the back of his hand and you have no idea whatsoever to do about it. Three years together is very evident now—he can read you effortlessly.

“Stop it.. You know I’m staying at my parent’s tonight, I have to go home.” You let out a hushed whisper, a moan escapes your lips when his hands slowly stray from your shoulder, down to your waist and to the area that leaves you breathless. God, you are out of your mind for him.

“Fuck them. You know I really miss you, baby… I seriously need to be inside you right now. Don’t you miss me? Stay tonight.”

At his discourteous words at the mention of your parents, any illusion and lust at wanting to have in any way he wants dissolve into thin air. He is still the same old, disrespectful man that will never give a shit about you, especially your parents. But what exactly was the expectation you have for him? You are foolish to even think he will magically has understanding and common sense, since he is a monster.

But you are the one responsible for creating this monster…

The familiar guilt instantly fills your chest all at once, and it vividly constricts in pain. You push the black bag to his chest in a rush. “Here’s what you asked. I just did the best I can—don’t call me again. I have to go home.”

As you run to exit the building, you half-expect him to hold you back, apologize, or do anything that somehow might stop you from leaving into the unwelcoming, shady neighborhood, at nearly midnight, but nothing. The frustration that suffocates your chest is too much, and it is extremely hard to breathe. Your head spins with countless voices running inside your head, screaming incoherent words that somehow sends you into a great panic.

And you take a deep breath. Then the second. Then the third, trying to empty your mind from any intrusive thoughts that are doing you no good whatsoever. Right until you can finally close everything off, trying to pick your phone and get an uber—if it’s even possible. The reason you needed to get Taehyung help in the first place is that no uber or taxi would like to even come close to this place, and there’s thin to none chance you’ll ever get one.

And you are correct, since it’s already five minutes in and there is no sign of your request ever finding a ride home tonight. You are in deep frustration for there is no hope whatsoever in getting back home. Your parents are away, but your grandma is home—you left your responsibility of taking care of her to meet that man. Your parents are going to kill you if they ever find out you are escaping home, especially to meet the man they hate the most in this whole world—the man who is greatly a bad influence on you, the man who made you hospitalized for months, the man who they recognize as your ex.

But even with how far he is from ideal, he is still the same man who fought for you. The man who taught you love and sacrificed himself for you in no way anyone would. You don’t want to let him go—you are aware that he has strayed far, but he’ll come back soon. You held onto that for a long time, even with the faith you have on him is slightly dwindling. It’s been nearly three years since that accident, and you found that he is still the same, obnoxious man he was and even worse, yet you cannot let him go. Your conscience would never let you.

Feeling the remorse that is starting to overwhelm your senses, you notice there is literally waste in vain to think about that. You have to think for the present, how the fuck can you do to get home? Your parents might be home any time now, and they will never let the matter go until you are forced to confess that you are indeed, meeting your ex—the one person they loathe the most.

So you decide to run for your life to the nearest stop to take a bus or any available transportation, away from the shady neighborhood. You start with a fast stride, but you hear a sound of an engine booming behind you, slowly creeping on your side of the street. The red alarm on your head is loudly screaming. Someone is following you, and at once the worst memories of your life hits you like a truck.

You abruptly fasten your pace, keep on running. But due to the nerves, your leg is close to giving up. You are exhausted beyond words, and the intrusive breakdown inside your head is not helping either. Just in five minutes you have no strength left and fall down on the pavements, your body trembling, tears crashing loudly as you hide your body inside your arms.

You never should have come to this place. You never should have come back to him. That time he loved you and cared so much about you was years ago, and he changed. He will no longer be there to rescue you. He doesn’t even give any shit about your safety. When will you ever be strong and stop whatever nonsense you are having for him?

“Hey, hey what happened, Y/N? Why are you crying?!”

You are still bawling your eyes out like there is no tomorrow, your whole body trembling hard with both your legs secured on your chest. Someone is touching your arms, but you are too frightened by the imagination inside your head so you can do anything but to hold your legs even closer. “Please.. Please don’t hurt me..”

“Y/N, what are you—This is Taehyung. I have been calling you since you walked out, but you are not responding. Y/N, you are shaking so hard.. God, you’re scaring me. Please say something.”

After listening to the words that send you to a haze for having a hard time believing whatever it is, that man holds you close, his strong arms around your shoulder, his wide palm caressing your upper back slowly. “Take a breath, Y/N. You are panicking, but it’s okay. Take a deep breath. Everything is okay. I am here.”

At the constant calming ministration from Taehyung, along with his warm hug around your trembling, drenched with cold sweat body, you find the tense on your body is progressively decreasing to the point you can finally think and speak clearly without any more tears falling on the side of your cheek. You look up, finding Taehyung’s worried gaze seeking into yours.

“Why are you here, Tae? I thought you went back.”

Noticing how much you already get better from the panic attack, Taehyung can finally let go the breath he has been holding for quite a long time now. “I was about to, but—hey, I’ll tell you everything in the car. For now let’s go, you have been sitting on a pavement, who knows what germs you can catch from there.” Taehyung whispers with a vivid disgust on his tone. At that, you can finally smile. Albeit thin, Taehyung feels like he has achieved something remarkable. He quickly holds you up, arms secured around your waist to help you walk inside his car.

Taehyung opens the door for you, yet you are still hesitating to enter. “Get in, Y/N. I’ll take you home.”

“But.. your seat. What if my germs polluted your seat?” You are innocently concerned, and Taehyung can’t help but to chuckle. He did not expect such polite questions coming from you who just had a literal breakdown, yet he finds it endearing.

“It’s okay, Y/N. I’ll be taking Cecil to car service tomorrow as well, so it’s no issue. Get in.”

Dubiously you step your left foot inside, before you gasp in surprise that shocks Taehyung as well. “I have a scarf! Let me sit on that.”

Taehyung follows your vigor on going through the small bag hanging on your shoulder with his eyes. “Not really necessary, but whatever. I’d prefer your shirt though. Can you sit on it instead?”

You snort. “Pervert.” He responds with a smirk, skipping to the driver side.

After a good ten minute driving in silence, you open your voice, your fingers nervously fondling on the button of your purse. “Thank you for waiting. You are such a lifesaver, I-I seriously don’t know what I will do if you are not there.”

Taehyung nods, his right hand brushing through the expanse of his jaw and you intensely follow the swear-to-god attractive gesture. God, you cannot believe how someone can be that charming while driving, it’s seriously making no sense. You continue after clearing your throat. “What happened? Why didn’t you leave?”

He glances at you with tranquility, shrugging his shoulder. “I was about to leave, but I don’t know. The song I was listening to was good so I just decided to stay for a while, and then you walk out so I follow you. The end.”

Your eyes narrowed, staring at him intently. “That is a lie.”

“Maybe.”

“Then tell me what happened!”

He shrugs. “Nah.”

You look at him in obvious exasperation. “Taehyung, for god sake tell me what happened! What can possibly make you stay in this hellish neighborhood?”

Taehyung grins. “I don’t ask what happened with the hickey on your collarbone either, sweetheart. And It’s nothing, seriously. Nothing out of the ordinary.”

Your fingers instinctively land on your clavicle, feeling the strange pain emerging when so. Shamefully ducks your head in embarrassment, you throw your face to your side of the window. “You're annoying.”

“I’ve been called that a lot. By you, actually.”

“Then maybe you should stop being annoying.” You sarcastically grin.

He jokingly wriggles his sharp eyebrows. “That’s kind of my trademark, so I’m sorry I cannot fulfill the request, sweetheart.” You huff and decided not to continue the endless debate.

Another ten minutes filled with silence, until you break it with your still irritated tone. “Can we play my song now? The song you played before sucks.”

Taehyung murmurs an agreement, a thin smile finding his lips. You connect your phone, then finding the one song you always tune into. The song that reminds you of the good times when life is less than complicated.

“Is this Bee Gees?” Taehyung asks with an amused tone, nothing ever crosses his mind that you would be the type to tune to oldies songs for drive songs.

“Yup. This is More Than a Woman.” You nod, then send a judgmental stare at him. “What? You think I am lame for listening to old songs? Yeah, no surprise there.”

He smiles heartily, finding this new side of you that is unforeseen yet very delightful. “No, I actually like this song too. My father used to sing this song when I was a kid. The whole album, actually. I even have the vinyl cd in my room.”

Seeing that Taehyung is indeed earnest, opening up a little about his life, you find yourself smiling at your own great memory as well. “Me too. My grandfather used to sing this song to my grandmother, uhm.. before he passed away.. a few years ago. I would always listen to this song and then I would always be reminded about how much love they have for me.”

You don’t even know why you are explaining such an intimate story of your life to a fuckboy whom you barely know. But now, it’s hard to even think Taehyung is the jackass everyone and even himself proclaimed. He is just a man—a friend, who helps you when you need him the most, who doesn’t pry and understand the space you need better than anyone else. You are grateful he is there, and to say these personal things to him.

Taehyung smiles at you and you can’t help but to reciprocate. His fingers tapping rhythmically on the wheel along to the beat, humming along with you to the wonderful music inside his car.

Here in your arms I found my paradise

My only chance for happiness

And if I lose you now I think I would die

Oh say you'll always be my baby, we can make it shine

We can take forever, just a minute at a time

“I don’t know where my keys are!”

Yup, you are a certified, sloppy idiot. You have been standing on your house gate for exactly fifteen minutes, trying to find where the fuck did you place your keys. You are trying to search your short lived memory where you placed them, but the only thing you remember before going to Han River to meet Taehyung is how rushed and panicked you are, trying to find excuses for your grandmother.

And Taehyung stood besides you, helping you to hold the flashlight so you can make anything inside your ransacked purse. “I can’t find it!” You hiss worriedly, glancing at your watch. “I don’t think my parents are home yet, and my grandmother should be asleep by now. I will just sneak in.”

“This is dangerous! Someone might catch you and think we are thieves, Y/N, I don’t think it's a good idea, especially at this time.” Taehyung advises, his tone full of worry. You look to him scornfully, accepting that he is indeed right. There are cctvs being installed on every corner of the street, and you don’t think it would be pretty to be caught and perceived as a thief while climbing your own house. Your parents will figure out either way, and to be told by your neighborhood security that their daughter is climbing inside with a ‘help’ of a man would be the last thing you want to happen.

“I do not know what I have to do.” You mutter, hiding your face inside your palms, cursing your forgetful self internally. Now you have to wait for your parents, confessing that you indeed get out at nearly midnight. And they will chastise you to know where you have been, immediately accusing you for meeting your ex—which in fact is indeed the truth. You are screwed.

“Hey, we can wait for your parents then. We’ll think of a way, no worry, Y/N.” Taehyung said carefully, noticing your forlorn gesture with hands resting on your shoulder. You look at him with a frown and reddened face.

“It’s okay if you have to leave. You have been a great help, Taehyung. I seriously do not know what would happen if it weren’t for you.” You mutter in regret, then he answers by sternly shaking his head, clicking his tongue.

“Hey, I might be a dick but I am certainly not to that extent to leave a girl on the street nearing dawn.”

“I can protect myself, if that’s what you are worried about.”

Taehyung chuckles, keeping his hands inside his pocket. “I am well aware that you can kick my ass to ditch, Y/N. But my conscience just won’t let me.”

Before you can persuade him again to go back home, the familiar creaking sound of your front door is heard and you throw your head back inside, detecting your grandmother, peering outside to the sound of her granddaughter.

“Grandma! You are not asleep?!” You nearly yell, but then realize that it is already so late for any loud noises and manage to lower your volume. “It’s past midnight, you should be asleep! I told you to sleep first and not wait for me.”

“Huh, this girl! How can I sleep when I know you are still wandering out there, at this late of night.” Your grandma hisses, walking with her cane to the gate. “Why didn't you come in? Where are your keys?”

The frown on your lips deepen. “I lost them, grandma…”

Your grandma hiss in distaste, before realizing that his granddaughter is not alone. While opening the gate, her tone changes as she questions the man beside you “Who is this? Is this your friend?”

You just remembered that Taehyung is still present, now both his hands politely joined and a civil, yet timid smile on his lips. You look back at your grandma, strongly warning you with her intimidating gaze to introduce him right away. “Y-yes! Grandma, This is Taehyung. Tae, this is my grandma.”

“Good evening, grandma. I’m sorry we arrived so late tonight, I can assure you it will not happen again.” Taehyung apologizes with heavy sincerity and a bow. You are mildly confused by his never-seen-before politeness, especially to your family. Of course it will not happen again, Taehyung would easily walk out of your life after the constant problem you put him in. But still, it brings such a strange emotion to your heart on how good-mannered he is to your grandmother—and you kind of have a slight hint of why.

“Kids these days, seriously.” Your grandma shakes her head, but still motions both of you to enter the house. “Come in, then. You two.”

“Taehyung can’t stay, grandma! He has to go back, it’s been a long night.” You try to reason in panic, but your grandmother’s slap on your shoulder to enter the house quickly resonates that she is not open for negotiation. There is no other way than to follow her order, so you begrudgingly leave the scene, with an apologetic smile on your face to Taehyung’s way. You seriously owe him nearly everything—you swear you will do anything to repay him.

“You really have to go back, Taehyung? I want to talk to you, though. I promise it won’t take long.” Your grandmother intimidatingly offers, and Taehyung gulps in overwhelming nerves. It is probably the first time for a while since he met someone’s close relative—he even hardly met his own—and your grandma is too intimidating; he doesn’t even remember the word no.

“Let’s talk, then.” Your grandma smiles, waving off the cold persona right after taking in his acceptance. She rests her hand on Taehyung's arm to lead him inside the house. “Have you eaten? We have some extra food. I also made Darjeeling tea, it’s good for you young people. I know you will like it.” Taehyung smiles with a nod, his head slightly spins and an aloof thought invades his head, all regarding his precious platinum rule.

Never ever meet a girl’s relatives under any, any circumstance ever.

God, this is not good.

It’s already past 1am, and an hour after you safely arrived inside your house. Upstairs, you wanted to help Taehyung dealing with your pesky grandmother, but she refused you to come down and mentioned that she wanted to talk to him only. You know what that means—another drama coming your way. You seriously cannot stress how much you owe Taehyung, he has been nothing but kind and helpful today. You wanted to eavesdrop on their conversation, but your body is too tired to even deal with even more drama. You just need to set your grandmother straight that Taehyung is just a friend, right in the morning. Your parents don’t have to know as well, and everything can go as well as before.

But even with your nearly numb body, your consciousness is wide awake and you cannot sleep. So after a short while and hearing the soft engine of Taehyung’s car far in the distance, you dial his number. Hopefully it still has power—you remember Taehyung mentioned how near dead it was.

Right after two beeps he thankfully picks up. “Hi, Taehyung. You went home already?”

“Yup.” He emphasizes on the p.

You wince at his distant answer. “Are you mad at me? I apologize, I am nothing but a hassle today, you must regret helping me.”

Then his lighthearted chuckle is heard, and the tense on your body instinctively loosen up. “It’s okay. Not gonna lie, today is quite overwhelming. But I think in a weird, twisted way I needed that. A distraction, I mean.”

“Well, at least you are entertained by my lackluster life.” You joke, and both of you cackle. You cannot fathom your feeling right now, hearing his breathy voice on the other side of the call. You know you have been through a lot today, but somehow finally closing it with Taehyung, you feel somewhat relieved. “Did grandma say anything weird?”

“No, we just drank her god-sent Darjeeling tea. I seriously think I need to order it myself. Gonna search for it online after this. Ah, she also said I am handsome.”

You smile heartily, flipping to the other side of your bed. What a lie. “I sure can vouch for that. You are indeed handsome.”

Taehyung loudly gasps, cheeks tingling upon your unpredictable sincere compliment. “What—did you injure your head or what? Are you finally admitting that, Y/N? Never thought I’d hear it from you.”

You catch yourself slipping, slapping your mouth. “Yup, I think I injured my head. But no worry, pretty boys like you are dime a dozen. I’ll find you anywhere.” You nervously snort, internally disagreeing to your own words. There is something about Taehyung’s charming ways that always keep you on the edge, and you have never found it in anyone else.

“That’s more like you.” He hums. “Go to sleep, Y/N. It’s been a long night, you deserve it.”

You hum lowly while closing your eyes, feeling the sudden sleepiness embraces you. “Okay. Thank you so much for today, Taehyung. I owe you one, okay? See you soon.”

Taehyung finally closes the call, a thin smile reaching his lips. Seriously, he doesn’t know how he can go through everything in the span of 24 hours, the thing with Mina, meeting you and breaking all his platinum rules for a girl he thought he wouldn’t see a second time. A statement from your grandmother suddenly passes through his head and Taehyung shifts uncomfortably in his seat.

She is a strong girl, but she is fragile right now, and in need for someone to believe in.

Someone to believe in? That's most absolutely not him. Frankly, he is the absolute far on the other side from someone to believe in. He doesn’t even believe in himself, how could your grandmother say that to him? Does he seriously look like someone to believe?

But when Taehyung rewinds what your grandmother explained, along with the panic attack you had just a few hours ago—he finds it peculiarly identical to himself. In a way, both of you are scarred. Life takes a huge toll on you, and he can understand what you were feeling. Living with a deep scar itself is scary, but now that he knows that he is not alone—there is someone, deeply affected about something alike, he doesn’t feel so alone anymore. All these times he always feels like he needs someone, that he is a burden to someone, but it feels reassuring to be the one lending a hand for someone else’s misery.

Among the silence and his busy thoughts, the phone rings. Taehyung is quick to answer and the call resonates on his car. “Yes. I need car service. Some idiot bastards just scratched Cecil, it’s pretty bad. They scratched it with knives I think—i don’t really know. You can pick her up on my usual. Thanks.”

It has been a week since you last saw Taehyung that eventful night, and even with how desperate you are to text him again, you find yourself hesitating while typing the words. What if he thought you are looking deeper into everything? You are just a mere girl he fucked before, and it is as clear as a day that Taehyung dislikes and avoids any form of attachment—and even though you are not even offering anything other than trying to pay all his kindness back, you are still unsure.

Since that night, one thing that you know is your grandmother loves Taehyung—she can’t stop talking about him and asking where he is ever since that night. Both of your parents are aware as well, they are a bit hysterical at first at the unannounced appearance of a boy close to you—you know how wary they are ever since your last boyfriend, but after hearing how great he is from your grandmother slash the best personality judge to ever exist, your parents easily approve. Could also be to the fact that they are quite amazed by such a young man using a luxury Audi car—yes, your parents are primitives like that.

But another thing you notice is how over-jubilant they are at the sudden appearance of Taehyung, more than you expect. You know how much they have been stressing over the fact that you might still be in contact with your ex—which you still are, but they are better off not knowing—but you didn’t know it would go to that extent. They can finally joke about you finally being in ‘young’ love, which is also total nonsense.

The worst thing is that your mother even called you and cried one night, telling that she is relieved that you finally can find someone else instead of coming back to your previous toxic relationship with your ex—oh, how can you let her know? At that time, you feel guilty beyond words. There is literally nothing going on between you and Taehyung—you even doubt if you can label whatever going on between you as friendship, it all could be just a charity work on his part, but you don’t have the heart to say so to her. Hence you just nod, promising that you would try asking him the dinner your mother asked for.

And now it’s all more confusing since you don’t know how to approach the matter. There is no way in hell Taehyung would ever agree meeting your parents—and the case itself is helpless. But your parents are very happy now, and to have it knocked away for a lie would greatly affect them in a bad way. Especially starting today, you moved out from your shared apartment back to your parents home. You love your independence, but you desperately need the money, especially since the extra side job of writing columns pays now needs to be shared with your parents as well due to your father's condition that enforces him to do his routine dialysis. The insurance helps, but it still costs massive on the pocket so you are more than willing to help them.

So you are seated now, waiting for your class to start. Your fingers tapping on the keyboard to draft a message that will be sent to Taehyung. It has been twenty agonizing minutes, and by every word typed and erased, you feel jittery. To the point you are finally too tired and give up, slamming your phone on the table and running your fingers through your hair in distress.

The sudden ring of your phone comes into your senses, and you are expecting nothing but then seeing the message, it effectively fastens the pound in your chest and you literally think you will cry. It's literally godsend, actually—how can he come through at the time you need him the most is beyond you.

From : Taehyung

Hi, just wanna ask if that ‘thank you so much for today, Taehyung. I owe you one, okay? See you soon’ thing is true or just bogus since i did not get any message since last week

You smile wholeheartedly, right from ear to ear at his witty message. So you swiftly type in another response, which may or may not contain a bit of a lie but Taehyung is better off not knowing how much you think of him in the past week.

To : Taehyung

Hi, sorry the bitch you are contacting is busy with packing her things to move back home. Can she meet you later this afternoon for lunch?

You don’t even have to wait for another long minute as his reply came almost immediately.

From : Taehyung

Sure! But she better be paying cause Taehyung is sloppy and forgot to bring his wallet! 😉

You chuckle lightly, typing the cafe name located near college, following another message.

To : Taehyung

Such slop. But no worries, she would gladly pay! Since she should finish the class quite early, she's going to wait for you in the near park, so find her there, okay?

From : Taehyung

Don’t know until when we are going to address ourselves in third perspective but I am all for it. See you soon, beautiful! xx

You roll your eyes at his flirty text. Fuckboys and their annoying suave talks, yet inside, you are unable to hold your lips from smiling—to the point that your ex-roommate had to question how suspiciously vibrant you are today, especially during the worst class to date. You respond with a shake on your head, still with the same foolish smile plastered on your lips that is too eerie to be true for her.

Right after it’s finished, you run to exit the class—more because you need to avoid the question from your best friend on where you are heading, since you are meeting her boyfriend’s best friend you said you hated. It also seems like Taehyung is also inconvenient to let Jungkook know about your rendezvous, so you decide to keep this for yourselves first.

The weather on your way to the cafe is amazing, the afternoon breeze is lukewarm, the sun is adequately shining, conveniently settling on the skin. When you arrive, you take a seat on the nearest bench, heaving a deep breath and close your eyes. You clearly feel happy, contributed due to the weight from thinking about Taehyung and your parents slightly lifted off your shoulder. At least now you are on a talking basis with him. That’s a progress.

But as it always has been, something just had to ruin your temporary happiness. He is there, seated right beside you. Noticing the weight press on the other side of the bench, you look up, and finding your past lover, Jisung.

“Jisung!” You gasp in shock, your heart nearly falls out of your chest. He is here, in your college, right beside you. “What are you doing here?!”

He smiles, his fingers raised to your ear, settling a few stranded hairs behind your ears. The affectionate gesture suddenly throws you off your horse, as the sudden confusion does bring unwanted memories of your past with him. “I just wanted to see you baby. How you are doing, right now. I see you went home safely that midnight, quite shocking I would say.”

At his unpleasant words, you swat his hands away, facing him with a cold, hardened stare. “You are a jerk, you know that? You let me go home all by myself, in your own dangerous neighborhood when I went there to give you what you need. You are seriously the worst.” Muttering your sentence, you feel a tidal wave of anger and sadness crushes you in.

“Hey, I don’t mean it like that, babe. You also get to go home with your hotshot fling as well, so you can thank me, right?” He sarcastically responds, and you feel repulsed at his words mentioning Taehyung—who in high chance must have brushed his annoying male ego. Jisung scoots to your side, his arms holding you close. But you felt nothing but disgust.

“Don’t be like that, baby. You know I miss you. No matter how far you are searching for someone better, or richer, I will be the only one who understands you and your body, babe.”

You are silent, neither accepting or rejecting his advances. You feel numb, you feel used, yet you don’t do anything to push him away. It’s like whenever he is near, you feel the urge to fix him. He was the victim—and so were you. Yet he was the one that was and still is greatly affected by the wrongdoings of other people. So you still believe that the good Jisung you love is there, somewhere inside this man you barely even know.

Jisung was your boyfriend, two years ago in high school. He was a humble, smart scholarship boy that loved to play soccer. You were just a simple girl who loved to write about everything on your blog, especially lenient towards politics and policy. One simple day after a busy semester—due to your social science project team that always sends you on heated debate with him, Jisung somehow confessed. He told you he always liked you, the way your eyes crinkle while writing, the way you scoff during debate, and especially the way you smile for everyone but him—it was a surprising yet sweet confession, but against all odds you accepted it since you did adore him, even with the debates and nonsensical statements coming out of his mouth. That’s how you started a blooming, new relationship with him.

Six month passed, and you could proudly say that you were indeed in love with him. He was sweet, albeit dumb sometimes, he is the kindest person to ever exist and you loved it for him. Everything was great, but as most things, it all finally went downhill—when a transfer student is registered at your class. His father was the right hand of the president at that time. Few weeks in, you realize that he put too much attention on you. You tried to ignore it, but the contact was getting intense so you set him straight that you did not like him and you had a boyfriend. But being a golden spoon kid since he was born, he never learned rejection.

One Friday evening, when you had just finished your assignment in the library and were about to meet your boyfriend to head home together, that transfer kid pulled you away and kidnapped you to the back of the school. He was angry at your rejection, and forced you to do the things you never wanted to do with anyone, and you loudly screamed for help. The enormous school was nearing empty due to the weekend, and no one could hear you. You were nearly losing hope, too weak to do anything but cry, then your boyfriend found you. He was going to check up on you since you already took a long time, but seeing the unbelievable scene, he instantly sent a hard punch to the bastard, right on the face. But not even a punch or two suffice, Jisung punched him to pulp until he passed out, with you shivering and crying loudly on the side.

Then a few days later, everyone finds out about the issue, and somehow the media caught it as well, the president’s right hand son is hospitalized due to a school fight. But one thing that did not sit right was that everything in the story is twisted to transfer kids' benefit. He was hospitalized, so the school and media immediately sided on him, telling that he was injured by a rebellious kid in school and disregarding the real cause of the matter. You tried hard to explain to your headmaster, everyone that might believe you, but there was no evidence and you were the girlfriend—you were trusted not to be objective. So Jisung was expelled from school, and his scholarship was taken away from him. His strict parents did not believe him even a bit and kicked him out of the house. Jisung’s life hit rock bottom.

You were heartbroken and guilty beyond words. Jisung had his life crumbling down in a moment, all because of you, because he helped you and defended your honor. You owed him everything, and you knew how hard it was for him. Jisung refused to see you, and when you tried talking to him about it, he harshly broke up with you, crying and shouting while implicitly blaming you for how his life turned out. You also cried that evening, and you begged him not to and promised you would do everything in your power to help him.

But no matter how hard you begged him to stay, he still went missing for a few months and you cried nearly everyday. It was killing you, to the point you didn’t even want to go to school anymore. You hated everyone—you hated how unfair life was for him, someone you loved so much. And frankly, you missed Jisung, you miss your ex-boyfriend and would do anything to have him back. There’s never a day you forget sending him a message, apologizing and begging him to come back.

And he did come back to see you, exactly four months after. But at that time, he already changed. He was no longer the sweet, affectionate Jisung you loved and remembered—he was someone else. He joined and lived with a rebellious gang downtown. As predicted, he did not continue his studies, and god knows what conniving things he was doing to get money on a daily basis. When he came back and professed his love for you, you were hesitant. He was no longer your Jisung, but the complete opposite. But the next day he called you, crying about how life was becoming too hard and wanted to take his own life. That was also the time you’d do anything for him to stop, and agreed to get back with him. And thus began the most horrifying part of your life, one you never even want to remember.

“Baby, don’t you miss me?” He whispers to your ear, noticing your distant stare and silence. But you pushed him away, realizing how improper that you are still in the university area. “I missed you so much. No one can ever suffice your beautiful body against mine, babe.”

“Stop it, Jisung. I am not your sex slave, the one you can do anything against my will.” You hiss, pushing him away with a hardened stare filled with hatred and disgust. “I gave you the money you want. What do you want more from me?”

“I need more, of course.” He grinned, running his fingers on your lips. “Money is hard nowadays, babe. I notice that you got yourself a new, rich fling now. Get some of that hard cash and give it to me, will you?”

You stand up, peering against in disgust, but you were saddened beyond words—tears pooling on the side of your eyes. “You are the worst human being. I am not giving you anything more, especially when you are going to spend it on gambling and sluts.”

He pulled you back down, nails stabbing your skin until you are sure it will bleed. Your heart pounds too loud until it echoes in your ear. “Listen here, you bitch. Do you know who caused me like this? It’s you. You ruined my life, and you have to take responsibility for it.”

He lets go of your hand and leaves you trembling and your breath irregular. Dizziness suddenly enters your head, and you never feel alone to that extent you want to puke to the exhausting feeling. You hold your legs closer to your chest, hiding your face inside to shout all the frustration bubbling up in your chest, as loud as you can.

“Y/N, why are you— What did he do?!”

It’s Taehyung, you are well aware it is him. A sudden recognition of the promised lunch you have with him passed through your head and you take a few deep breaths and try to shove the matter far away from your mind. You look up to him with a forced smile, wiping away your tears with the back of your sleeve. “Taehyung, how long have you been here? Sorry, I didn’t—”

“I was here before you even came. I was on the other side of the park, and noticed you were talking to some guy. I did not want to interrupt and left for a while, and I came and you are already crying. What the fuck happened, Y/N?” Taehyung asks in deep frustration on his eyes, his palm cupping your face to look up to him. “Who was he? Was he—the one you were meeting a week ago?”

You are not answering, still looking faraway to nothingness and Taehyung hiss in agitation. “Y/N, I am no longer taking this lightly. This—this is bad. Please, tell me about this.” When you are still silent, Taehyung looks at you somberly, pleading for you to look back at him. “Y/N. I am your friend. Please, please let me help you.”

And then you break down into loud sobs, finding purchase in his arms around you. You never felt so sad before—all the bad memories from your past coming back to you, throwing you back into a state of panic. But as Taehyung soothes your back in a calming manner, listening to your incoherent words, you can gradually breathe. “I am sorry. I am such a mess.” You whisper to him, and let go of the hug. “I don’t think I can tell you without you being disgusted at who I really am. I am not the girl you thought I was, Tae. I am way worse.”

Taehyung looks up at you with a serene smile, wiping the tears away from your cheek. “Y/N, I am telling this because I know you will not prematurely judge, but I kissed a married woman last week. There’s no way you can top that.”

Your eyes are wide in shock at that, and Taehyung smiles at your reaction. Regardless of being scared that you will assume anything without him getting to explain, he is just glad he can be truthful to someone, especially when it is you. “I don’t know if you would really listen to my boring story. But it has been bothering my mind for quite sometimes now. Can I drop that on you?”

You nod and smile at his effort trying to take your minds off things and feel better. Not that you dislike it—it does succeed. “Of course. But not if we have to sit here, starving. Do you want to get in?”

He smiles, squeezing your shoulder and lead you inside the cafe. “If you are paying, then yes. If not, let’s go back to my frat and ask that shithead Jungkook to pay instead.”

After approximately four hours talking about each other and dirty looks thrown by the waitress at your prolonged stay inside, you moved places from the cafe to Han River, the exact spot you met him before—Taehyung said this was a place for him whenever he is sad and needs some time to think. Did you understand him better. He was a child of divorce, he is living with his father in Seoul and his mother is remarried and staying in London. The last time he met his father was six months ago. At that time he said that he missed his grandmother a lot, he lived with her all through childhood but after she passed away, he was mostly taken care of by nannies. That’s why meeting your grandmother was a remedy or it’s kind—he was reminded of the fond memories with his own grandmother.

Taehyung also told you about the married woman he mentioned previously, and you felt sad for him. It must not have been easy, someone who does not really believe in love to have feelings for someone he can never have. But in a way, he believe there is a silver lining to meeting her—and in a way, you are amazed by how mature he was throughout everything. Yes, Taehyung may have scarred himself and the people around him, and done many things wrong as well, but to be able to live and act the way he did really brings him to a whole new light.

So when you told him with bright, tearful eyes about how much you are proud of what he did, it could be one of the moments Taehyung never thought he would cry in front of someone else but did. It was hard, like always feeling like he did everything wrong—but you are here, right in front of him, giving him the word he needed the most. He is glad that he was able to talk it out to someone, and that someone being you.

And when you are seated inside his car, looking out to the beautiful light posts alongside the Han River, you know it was your turn to open up and you did. You told him about everything, leaving no details about your past with Jisung. Even when you are just two sentences in, you are already crying, but it was inevitable. Taehyung holds your hands, his eyes filled with understanding. “Hey, hey. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

But you shake your head, smiling up to him and squeezing his hand back. “No-I need to tell you this. I want to tell you this. I think one of the main problems is that I always keep this from everyone—especially my friends. I would love it for you to know.”

Then you continue about your past experience. About how Jisung helped you against a bastard who was able to turn everyone to his side in the end. How Jisung left and put the blame on you. And in the end, you find yourself not being able to continue, but Taehyung kept you close, hugging you as he pecked the top of your head. “I loved him—I really did. I thought I did. It was all my fault—”

“Y/N, It’s not your fault. At the beginning, you both are just victims but after that, he was nothing but a manipulative asshole who used you for his own benefits.” Taehyung feels his heart clenched at the thoughts of your past with him—how you were held captive and forced to keep up to whatever vile activities he was doing with his gang. “Y/N, you got to stop going out with this guy. He did not even love you anymore—he is just using you…”

You know it, your sanity always told you that, but the moment Taehyung said it, it’s just.. disheartening. “I know, Tae. But—what if? What if the accident did not happen? What if we were not together? He could be living the best life right now, attending the best university in the country, meeting someone else better, helping his family's economy…”

Taehyung caresses your head, his low whispers awakening your senses. “Y/N, we cannot include what if scenario in this, you know it. Yes, there is a possibility that it should have gone better, but there is also a worse scenario too, right? And to be frank, all of the choices were on him. He could have done something better with his life, yet he was the one who chose hanging out with those bad guys, not you. So please stop hurting and blaming yourself now.”

You nod, resting your head inside his chest, crying every suffocating tears to your limit. “I wanted to. I wanted to stop, Tae. But I can’t, he will always come back.”

“Y/N, it might hurt but I think you should go to the police.” He advises, and you let go, looking up to him in shock. “It is just a suggestion, don’t hate me. I do think it is for the better. Your parents even forbid you to do so, and you were even hospitalized and depressed because of him. Now he always wants something from you, blackmailing you.. He does nothing but damage to you.”

Inside, this delusional part of you wanted to defend Jisung and all your own past doings, but you know you are not making any sense and Taehyung is right. But throwing Jisung inside jail? The thought even scares you. “I don’t know. I’ll think about it.”

Taehyung scoff in disbelief at your clear disdain of his suggestion. “Wait.. Do you—do you possibly still have feelings for this bastard?”

At that statement, you look away from his proding eyes. Do you? You are not even sure about that. Yes, Jisung could be the worst, most toxic people that caused nothing good to you, but you cannot lie that you always find yourself finding the goodness inside him, always reacting to his touches and sweet talks—it’s involuntary. You are an idiot that somehow still likes him… “I.. I don't know.”

“This is crazy.” Taehyung whispers, more to himself. He doesn’t even know how you haven’t thrown this bastard inside jail—and it is somehow because you still have feelings for him. “This is overly altruistic and borderline masochist, Y/N.”

“I… I know. Can we please drop it? I-I don’t want to talk about it for now.”

Taehyung realizes that he has been insensitively judgmental of you, and he winces and reaches out for your hand. “I am sorry. You are one of the strongest, greatest women I have ever known, and... And I guess it’s sad to know that you have been through this and.. It’s nothing. I apologize.”

You look up to him and nod, looking up to him with a warm smile. “That’s okay, I can see where you are coming from. It’s a surprise as well, as I never thought you would be the great listener type and give kickass advice too, Tae. You are a very great friend, do you know it?”

He cheekily smiles, shooting you a wink. “I’ve been told so. By myself, I mean.”

“I think we should drop the depressing, real talk.” You chuckle, and so does he. “I am glad we did it, but let's refrain from it for the time being. I am fucking drained now, and hungry.”

“Me too! I am starving. Do you want to grab something on the way home?” Taehyung looks around in vision, trying to move his car. You did not even realize the disappointment in the pit of your stomach at the mention of going home—your parents and grandma are the reason, but majorly due to the thought of the day is about to come to an end. It’s just ten pm, and you really, really had a pleasant time with Taehyung. “We can grab takeouts too, if you have to go home now. Or even we can go directly home and—”

He was nervous, and you cannot help but to smile of reassurance. “It’s okay. I’m thinking of McDonald’s. You in?”

He coos loudly with fake tears. “You know what, Y/N? You just get me.”

The way to McDonald’s, your mind is suddenly caught on the fact that your family is assuming Taehyung as your boyfriend. “Hi, Tae. Can I ask you something?”

“Sure, sweetheart.” He responds lightly, without noticing what the nickname does to you, focusing on the street in front of him, and you cannot hold the blush blooming on your cheek. You were thankful that it was already dark, or you would have let him catch you slipping for the nth time today. “Anything you want to know?”

“Yes. So…. get this.” You start with vivid nerves, looking down to your lap timidly. “My grandma really, really likes you. I don’t know what happened, or how can you hypnotist her since all she can talk about now is you. I think she even forgot I am the granddaughter sometimes.” Taehyung chuckles widely, showing the creases on the corner of his eyes and it is so infectious you can’t hold a smile either, the tense on your shoulder slightly loosening. “And since she could not shut up about you, my parents are aware too. About you, I mean.”

Taehyung looks at you, a hint of surprise on his face. “Uhm, really? Wow, never thought it would be that big of a deal.”

“It is. I didn’t tell you this, but I have never introduced any friends, especially male ones to family ever since Jisung happened…” You mutter, volume getting smaller by each word. “So, it was a big deal for them. And my family can be presumptuous sometimes.. And…” You hold your breath, your mind conflicted whether you should tell him or not because you are sure Taehyung would reject you straight away and harshly. You know it well, but your heart is pained at the imagination of Taehyung telling you to fuck off with your silly proposition. So you take a drastic turn and hold back your request. “I...No. It’s nothing.”

Taehyung looks at you in worry. “Hey, you can tell me anything. It’s okay.”

You look up to him with a pout. “Can you promise me you won’t be mean?”

“What are you—of course I won’t, Y/N.” He giggles, giving your hand a light squeeze that nearly takes your breath away. “You can tell me everything.”

“Okay, here goes.” You whisper, trying to muster the leftover courage. “So, my parents and grandma kinda can’t stop talking about you... thinking you are my boyfriend. I never brought anyone after Jisung and… they just thought it was a big deal.” You look straight ahead, still afraid to find whether there is disgust on Taehyung’s face.

“So?” Taehyung asks neutrally. “It’s fine. You can just tell them the truth.. that we’re not dating?” There was an edge on his response, and you are certain he is not getting anything out of your desperate sentence.

“But I don't think I want to drop that on them.” You continue breathily, biting your lower lips in hesitation. “They are going through some tough times right now, with my father's sickness and all—the news about me dating an averagely decent man with no crime history list could probably be the only good thing going for them. They’d be disappointed to learn that we are just friends.”

“Well, they don’t know who I am yet—what if I am a mafia man with a kick ass car that I bought with money from bank robbery?”

You look up to him, rolling your eyes but trying to display your best puppy face to date. “You left a great impression on them… Can we at least pretend we are dating? For just a few weeks, and it’s nothing big, I swear. You still can do your hookups, whatever okay to you. I could just tell we broke up in the next month or whenever convenient.”

Taehyung looks at you in hesitation, a little bit unsure. “I know—but are you sure? All rom-coms never ended well for that fake relationship bullshit.”

“Surprise on you watching lots of rom coms aside, I know we’ll be fine. All those cliche bullshit always ends in anyone falling in love, but that’s not us, right…?” The second you say those things, a literal large, blazing red exclamation point on the side of the street. You are hoping it is not a bad omen. “Please say yes. I know this is a big thing and I owe you a lot already, Taehyung. But I swear this is the last time. I would do anything for you to say yes.”

Fake dating you? He did not know how to do that, especially since he has to talk to your parents whatsoever—even the thought scares him as he never got along with his own either. What if he messes up and everything goes down in ashes? Taehyung literally was about to reject, when your last sentence caught his attention, shown by his raised left eyebrows. “Anything?”

You scorn, sending a look at him in disgust. “Are you seriously asking sex out of the deal right now, Taehyung?”

“No! Of course not. That is unnecessary. You know I can have sex with you with your greatest consent and you’d be begging for it.” The cocky jackass dares to wink, and you hate how partly right he is with that. Well, maybe not just partly. “So, not that. Okay, I will agree to your proposition. I have something in mind.”

You nod, rubbing your palms together. “Okay. Lay it on me.”

“I want you to stop seeing that guy—Jisung, I mean..” You were expecting a lot of things, but not that. Especially not that. Hence the look of disbelief displayed in your face, eyes open like saucers. “ It’s for your own good, Y/N. There is no good coming out of hanging out with that guy. I know it’s not easy—I won’t force you all at once. So by the end of our fake relationship, I want you to completely stop everything. If he still insists on seeing you, or anything harmful to you, you put a 50 meters restriction on him, throw him into a jail or anything. You have to stop seeing this guy.”

You look at his challenging gaze, and seeing his expression you know his mind is already made. There are no other options besides take it or leave it. “But you are doing it for me. Don’t you want to ask anything? Other than that?”

He firmly shakes his head. “Nope. That alone would be a very great satisfaction on my part.”

“Serious? You don’t want anything else?” You ask one more time. “Just making sure you are getting the best out of this deal, since it won’t happen ever again.”

“Yup. And maybe if you insist, you can bring me breakfast or lunch too. That would be convenient since I tend to forget them.” He is joking, but you nod in all sincerity. You know how much you really need to do this, your parents have been struggling a lot—more or less you take a huge role in that, so at least you want to repay them even with a smooth, hopefully foolproof lie. “Your grandma must be a good cook; I tasted it a bit before and it’s heavenly. Maybe you can pack some of her dishes for me too.”

You nod. “She is. So… This means you in?”

Taehyung nods, with evident doubt still painted across his face. “Maybe. What does this exactly entail?”

“The regular, 1980 primitive relationships? No ass grabbing, no any mention of sexual things, no funny business. This needs to be very, very likable to my parents. You need to show you are the committed type that can only love one person and one person only, fall in love hard or that type of romcom bullshit.”

“Wow, so you are asking me to be the exact opposite of me, then. Did you just roast me, Y/N?” You giggle and nod—Taehyung might be a jerk but he is not a fool. Seeing your mischievous expression, he pinches your cheek with a scrunched lips. “I see. So no ass grabbing, no mention of sexual things and funny business—it’s only when your parents are around, right?”

It’s now your turn to glare. “I’m kidding. I’ll wait until you ask it yourself.” He winks, and you roll your eyes. Same old, fuckboy Taehyung. Will he be able to pull the act off is beyond you. “Anything else? Should I take you from home everyday, or domestic bullshit like that too?”

“Not really, but maybe once or twice per week? We can grab food on the way home if you want to. And Friday or Saturday nights too—but only if you don’t have any party to attend. If you have no worries, i’ll just make up some lies.”

“It’s okay. I’ll take you out on those days.” He nonchalantly nods, like he just did not imply about giving up his parties and fuckboy activities for you. It is quite a surprise—you expect him to immediately refuse everything involving those holy days, and it sends an anonymous feeling right through your heart.

“Beside, it will be just a month right? I’ll be okay missing a party or two.”

You clear your throat, looking down in faint disappointment. What were you thinking, seriously? Did you somehow expect him to sacrifice that much to mere, old you? He is a saint to even want to spend his friday night eating junk food with you rather than partying with those porcelain pretty girls on his side. “Sure.”

Another ten minutes spent just enjoying the silence with other Bee Gees songs playing in the background, and Taehyung breaks the silence. “So, if in case I refuse this. What would you do then?”

You purse your lips in contemplation since you haven’t even thought that far. What if Taehyung refuses? “I don’t know, haven’t thought that far. Ask Hoseok, maybe? He is polite, nice, cute too. My parents would be impressed.”

Taehyung snorts, a hint of dislike palpable across his beautiful features at your mention of his frat buddy, the one you acquainted to. “Wow. Just a few minutes into this fake relationship and you are already comparing your fake boyfriend to someone else. What a nice fake girlfriend you are.”

You fold your arms in front of your chest in irritation. “Hey, I just say what I think is right! You cannot lie that Hoseok indeed looks fine and cute, he is well-mannered too. And the fuck, why are you so self-centered? I am not saying it to make you jealous, you—”

At your last sentence words, Taehyung suddenly hits break, abruptly stopping his Cecil from moving; your head almost strikes the dashboard if it weren’t for his arms holding you still. You are about to curse him, right before you can see the dangerous, cocky smirk formed on his lips, then the alarm inside your head goes off, all words are dead on your tongue.

“A little bit you should know about your fake boyfriend, Y/N. I am very, very territorial. A word of advice? Never test it for yourself.”

So come the first day your plan of faking your relationship in front of your family. It is Monday morning, both you and Taehyung have an 8am class. Regardless of the inconvenient of waking up, it is simultaneously the perfect time to fake those lovey dovey teeth-rotting routines in front of your parents and quickly excuse yourself with attending an early class as a reason. So that’s how you force yourself up a half an hour earlier than usual—since you always woke up at 7.30 for an 8 am class—put an effort to present yourself better. You know your mother wakes up early every morning, so you purposefully blow your hair with your loud ass hair dryer to invite her in and ask why the hell are slobs like you doing up so loud at 6am in the morning.

“Nothing, Taehyung is actually picking me up this morning, so I just.. I just want to prepare early.” You fake a shy smile, and that’s how your irritated mother goes 180 degree changes and help you decide on what you should wear—a blue sundress that sits on your knees, along with a matching navy dress shoes, which is kinda unlike you—who the fuck masochist enough to wear makeup and dress for an 8am Monday class?

And you are fidgeting on your dining room seat now, counting the seconds for Taehyung to appear and finally take you out from this hell hole called your house—your mother can’t stop gushing about you being picked up by your handsome new boyfriend. He should be here anytime now, is it possible that he bails on you the second he really needs to execute the plan?

Few minutes go by and you are this close to leaving by yourself, and the familiar car engine sound is heard and you instinctively look out the window. It’s Cecil—god, you are even addressing Taehyung’s dead stuff with names too now—parked in front of your lawn, you can hardly believe it really is him. You swiftly stand up, hearts pounding a bit with your mind turning hazy. You are seriously going to do this—you are faking a relationship with Taehyung. The Kim Taehyung. You are seriously fucked.

“It’s your boyfriend! Invite him in for breakfast, Y/N!” Your mother giggles, and you answer with a wholehearted shake of head, internally cringing of the image. You are a genius for thinking every possible risk beforehand.

“No, mom. We have an 8am. I packed lunch too, we are going to eat it later, it’s okay.” You answer her hastily, securing your bag on your shoulder before walking out to open the gate for him. You can feel the cold sweat perspiring—there is no doubt your relatives are now scrutinizing every movement of your being. At the thought of being caught, you can’t even breathe normally, too wasteful of the air around you.

Yet when you open the gate and see Taehyung on the other side, smiling warmly at you, your heart literally skips a beat. You cannot believe it is really him, wearing a flannel shirt and black jeans, a bucket of purple rose on his hand. His black gleaming hair is neatly styled sideways, displaying a hint of his forehead. He simply looks… breathtaking. Is it really him, standing in front of you right now? Are you hallucinating?

“Good morning. You look beautiful today.” He greets with a compliment you never thought you will ever hear coming from him—or anyone the first thing in the morning, along with a charming smile that somehow brighten your vision.

“Thank.. you? And good morning to you too..” You whisper breathlessly, still in haze of the fact that he is here, standing in front of you.

“I brought you flowers.” He says, handing over the flowers to you. You receive it with vivid hesitation, looking down in shock while he continues, still with the same smile. “Should I hug you now?”

“W-what?”

But before you can even respond, Taehyung quickly holds you by the waist, pulling you close inside his arm, resting his chin on your shoulder. Your head is literally spinning—the warmth radiating from his body resulting in a strange emotion, but it was gone before you can even realize. “Let’s greet your parents, and then we can go? Are you okay with that?”

Still in a daze, you are only able to muster a nod as an answer. Taehyung just now, this is not the Taehyung you remember—the despicable fuckboy that doesn’t give a shit about anything and anyone, and is always looking only for short fun and severely allergic to any sort of attachment. And those eyes looking out for you and those acts he put up, you don’t know it’s just you or there is literally something so deep about it. Like he is not doing this just for charity and help you—but because somehow he really wants to. Are you that delusional?

So after saying goodbye to your parents still with not much words coming out from you—Taehyung mostly does the small talks and excuses for the both of you, you are now seated inside his car. “Hey. Are you okay? Did I do something wrong?” He suddenly asks, gazing intently at you with mild concern on his face. “I mean.. you are kinda silent. Is there—“

You are quick to rebut. “Nothing! Nothing’s wrong, I am just.. shocked. That’s all.”

He raised his left eyebrow. “Why?”

“I mean—I mostly did not expect you’d be this dedicated. You wear flannels, jeans, style your hair nicely when I know the most decent thing you wore could be your celine overpriced shirt and loose trousers. You even bought flowers! How can I not be shocked?” You nearly yell in defense, and Taehyung smiles at your amusing reaction.

“What can I say? I am a very, very dedicated person in whatever I do.” He cockily responds, and you scoff.

“Pssh—Tell that to your studies.”

He gasps in shock at your insult. “I get results! And I don’t wanna brag, but I literally watched three rom coms yesterday just to get into character. You have to applaud me for my effort.”

You peer at him—like all the changes he did isn’t weird enough. “Why?”

“Just because. This is the stepping stone of my acting gigs, I might offer fake boyfriend service after this. I really need to buy those McDonalds nuggets again.” You sigh, remembering a few days ago when Taehyung tasted your nuggets—not an euphemism—for the first time and literally ordered another five portions just for himself. Well, not like he can’t easily buy shares of McDonalds if he wants to.

Five minutes in silence, before Taehyung carefully brushes your arm with his own, somehow affectionately. “Regardless of this being faked whatsoever, I really do think you look beautiful today. You always look beautiful—but that dress outstandingly looks good on you.” He breathily compliments with a shy smile. You literally were expecting that flirty, mischievous eyes glint your way, so you can disregard it easily with Taehyung being a horny dog, but all you can detect from him is sincerity and you are silenced. It was like he wasn’t complimenting you just because of anything, other than his own will. And you do not know how to reply—you are not mentally prepared for that kind of sincere reaction coming from that renowned fuckboy.

“All jokes aside—I really think we pulled it off.” He giggles in delight. “You got nothing to worry about, sweetheart. I positively think they are charmed.”

A little voice inside you tells you that your parents are not the only one charmed, but you forcefully bury the thoughts away, throwing your gaze outside the window.

Few days passed without a hitch, and you can proudly proclaim everything went smoothly. Taehyung did offer to pick you up every morning, but it did not even make sense with your different schedules and the fact that he literally lives inside the university area with his frat. During those five days, you could easily reason with your parents about Taehyung’s whereabouts, saying he is busy but you explain that you meet him everyday for lunch. You are not fully lying though—you always deliver the food you promised, but whenever you do, you give it in a secluded area, and quickly leave as not to be catched by anyone.

It’s not that Taehyung really asks to keep it under the table—but you just assume that it would be really awkward for the both of you if you were to be caught by someone. You know how fast the news would travel, saying that your college resident's most favorite fuckboy—especially after Jeon Jungkook's retirement—has a complicated relationship with a very plain girl such as you. It would be a shame for him, and you don’t really need another reminder about how undeserving you are to par with him.

Friday night it is, and you have been held hostage since afternoon until now, exactly 11pm by the team task paper you will be submitting Monday, along with Jinyoung who is your teammate and shares the class with you. Library closes at 6pm, so both of you continue on it, working alongside on the desk outside the library. Regardless of the short time knowing each other, you are glad to be partnered up with him—he is very thoughtful, smart, kind and easy to talk to. You are most definitely not complaining.

“We did it. I can’t believe we did it.” You whispers, faking sobs about how glad you are while typing soundly the last paragraph on your paper. Jinyoung chuckles, having a deep breath of gladness that everything has finally come to an end. It was clear that he has something on his mind—could probably due to the fact that his phone has been blowing up for the hundredth time already just in a span of an hour. You are surprised he even stayed this long—his part is already completed two hours ago yet he still insists that the call is nothing important, and he’d be okay helping you with the part you completely need help on, no matter how many times you ask him you’d be doing fine on your own.

Your phone suddenly rings, signaling an incoming message, so you check it with a quick glance. It was from Taehyung—but then you roll your eyes and continue whatever you were doing with no further thoughts whatsoever.

From : Taehyung

Hey, where are you? Come to the frat house, we are having a party babe xx

“So, where are you heading to? It’s Friday night, are you going out? Or to a party?” You nonchalantly ask, closing your laptop while gathering your things. He nods, typing something on his phone and gives you a short smile.

“Yup. My girlfriend has been asking for awhile.” He says like it’s nothing, and your jaw nearly drops. It’s his girlfriend, calling him like there’s no tomorrow? And he just ignored her for the sake of doing a task with you? Talk about dedication to education—but you suddenly feel the overwhelming guilt. It’s not like you can’t do it tomorrow, but you are a perfectionist and just prefer anything to be completed asap before your over-glorified weekend.

“You should’ve told me! I would be totally okay if you left first, there is no biggie. Besides, there is still time tomorrow to do it.” You desperately explain where you are coming. Jinyoung is kind, but it was unnecessary. “Now I feel guilty.”

“It’s no biggies! I do agree with you, I don’t want to hold it until yesterday. I also have something important I have to do.” Jinyoung assures, but you still feel not good about taking his Friday night out with the girlfriend for your silly ambition. “I.. I kinda have something in my mind. I know we just met—but do you wanna hear me out?”

You easily agree, and Jinyoung vigorously reaches out for something inside his pocket, and shows a red velveteen, small rectangular box. The gasp was inevitable—never in a million years would you ever guess it would be that. “Is.. is this an engagement ring?”

“Yes! Yes. I am going to propose to my girlfriend tomorrow.” He says, eyes sparkling with excitement and nerves. Seeing how sincere he is brought a lump in your throat. “I know it is early—everyone tells me I’m too young and whatever. But I’ve been with her since we were in middle school, and I just don’t think I want to be with anyone else. I am not usually that naive, courageous person to begin with, but I have never been more sure about anything like this.” He whispers, an evident edge is heard on his last word. “I.. I just want you to give me another perspective. Or not—if you are uncomfortable, but I just.. I am just curious. What do you think?”

“Wow. That’s a lot to process.” You whisper with a nervous chuckle. You don’t even know what you are thinking—too much is happening inside your mind and you have a hard time to process and make out something of it. “I think it’s amazing. And you know this girl for a longtime now, it’s a very beautiful thing and… I think you should go for it.”

“Really? You think so?” Jinyoung asks, kind of not believing his own hearing. “You are actually the first one to support me. Not even my parents do.”

“I think the world has been too skeptical of love.” You whisper, the lump is getting evident and it is hard to even speak. “I know that there may be a hundred case of failed relationships out there—and people tend to assume everything will follow those majority cases. Even those pessimistic minds could even lead to more failure, you know? There’s nothing good that comes out with anyone tends to overthink so many things.”

“But anyone still cannot deny the fact that there are two happy relationships that go against those hundreds. The chance might be small, but there still is. And if those years together makes you willing to put everything on the line and take the chance, I think you should propose..” One thing that you are sure of is that each word said you are no longer talking to Jinyoung, but yourself. It is to address your recent trait, about how sceptical you have been about having a real, sincere relationship with someone and always settle for less or good enough.

Well it's true. You heard and experienced these people around you, all the struggles, ruined relationships, especially the obnoxious men you had relationships with, have made you greatly cryptic of ever finding a love that lasts. You never thought it would be that hard to face one cold truth—maybe it’s you that really needs to start finding it with the ones that have the chance to have that with you. Instead of spending it for someone that only is looking for short fun, using you only for your body and leaving the moment he’s had enough.

“Thank you for that.” He mutters, the eyes filled with emotions yet his face lightens after hearing your encouraging words. “Exactly what I need to hear.”

Both of you are now standing on the busy street. “You wanna go home? Let me take you back.” Jinyoung kindly offers, and you couldn’t even hold back the snicker.

“It’s okay. Your soon-to-be wife is waiting.” You mum with a wide smile, even with a hint of sadness that you cannot suppress. You reach out to squeeze him in a short hug. “Good luck, Jinyoung. Wishing the best for you and her.”

After saying goodbye, you walk in the opposite directions of him, wandering with no exact destination. You don’t know what exactly happened to your lively mood, now completely blue and somber. What is it that makes you feel like you are now at the lowest point of your life? Is it possible that you just realized how far you have strayed from the person you wish to be, and now you are desperate to do something and rearrange your life back to the way it should be?

It’s quite depressing to know that there is the ideal life you have been planning and craving for a long time now, but one day you wake up and find you are heading the complete opposite direction and already strayed too far.

Your phone is ringing again, and you can just know it is Taehyung on the other side. He could be the last person you want to see now, but you are desperate to just answer and make him stop. You are most definitely not in the mood to talk with his annoying, pesky ass.

“Taehyung—”

“Y/N, where are you?! I asked your mother since you are not replying and she told me you haven’t come back home.” He shouts in discernible concern and worry with a faint music beat heard in the background—he must be still at the party, since 12am is still too early for these people to head back home, on the way of bad drunken state to the point of throwing up on the streets. If that so, why would he still be contacting you now ever since hours ago? If you are an idiot, you would let yourself believe he really is worried about you. And since when is he on talking basis with your mother? “Why are you not answering, Y/N?! Are you—”

“No, I am not.” You answer tiredly, knowing precisely that he is referring to Jisung’s place. You don’t want to debate him, all you want at the moment to be is alone and cry to your heart content. “I am just.. here. I am going home now, no worries.”

A good minute of silence. “Ah, you’re going home. Okay, good.” He still hesitates. “Text me when you are home.”

“I will. Bye, Taehyung.”

You are about to press the red button on your phone when the booming voice of him is heard. “No! Wait. This party is boring, I wanna leave. Let me take you home.”

“Taehyung, I am in no way in the mood of dealing with your shit right now.” You curtly sigh, massaging your temple in distress. This persistent boy is surely a pain in the ass. “Talk to me tomorrow.”

Taehyung suddenly lowers his voice to the point of whispering, could probably detect how out of the character you are right now. “Hey, are you okay, sweetheart? You sound sad.”

You are about to say you’re okay, but your head is too heavy with emotions and even lying about being okay stress you out. “I am not. I am not fucking okay. I could arguably be at the worst point of my life. So can you leave me alone?”

“I know where you are. Stay there, I am coming.”

You don’t even know why, or how, or when Taehyung is coming, yet you obliged to his request. Because you don’t know what else to do, or where to go, and even believing in his almost unbelievable request seems appealing to you right now. All because you want to know if he’ll come through or not. That’s how you settle on sitting in front of a closed ice cream shop, holding your legs closer to your chest, your mind wandering to the things you can’t even point out.

Yet against all odds, in just ten minutes of waiting you can detect the black Audi stopping on the side of the street, with Taehyung walking out of it and on your way. You quickly stand up, erasing the remnants of tears on both your sticky cheeks before Taehyung crushes to you, engulfing you inside his arms. His palms caressing the top of your hair, nose buried in your hair, all for you can somehow feel better.

“Why are you sad, Y/N? Something bad happened?” He questions slowly and carefully.

“Yup. Life happened.” You nod, your finger hesitantly intending to reciprocate his hug but you refrain to doing so. There is no good in doing that anymore, especially now. “Everything just.. sucks.”

Taehyung giggles breathily at your sentence, ironically finding mirth in your words. His two thumbs at the either side of your eyes, wiping the leftover tears. “Isn’t that my daily thoughts. Let me take you home, and we can talk on the way?”

On the way to his car, Taehyung securely places his arm around you, squeezing you close to his side before opening the door for you. And before the car is about to move, he ensures your seat belt is strapped and secured well, while all you can do is to stare at him, wondering what the hell is he thinking for doing all these way-over-affectionate acts to you with no surveillance of your parents.

The words that are directed to ask about the fuck did he mean with all these things are already in the tip of your tongue, but you decide against it. It would be very awkward and presumptuous for you to assume that someone who is literally allergic to relationships is doing that because he has certain feelings for you. Or maybe because you are too scared to find out and get hurt in the end.

“How did you know I’m here?” You question aloofly and he smile.

“Besides being a genius with such great sense? Yup, I heard the ice cream shop advertisement songs when I called you.” He proudly sing-songs like it’s his proudest achievement. You snort, realizing that you indeed a dumb.

“So, what did you do before? I thought you had something to work on.” He casually asks while stealing glances at you, noting your deep silence. “Did you finish your paper?”

“Yeah.” You simply nod, trying to focus on anything else other than looking sideways, to him. “You? Got bored at the party? No girls interesting enough to fuck tonight?”

Taehyung hums in grief, and the coldness washing over your heart is greatly detectable. “Yup. The drink is so-so, the music is boring, the people are boring. You’d start thinking that this party is just too repetitive, you know?” You think you sincerely wished the bitterness on your tone were undetectable, but the fact that Taehyung is utterly insensitive by your sarcastic question bothers you a lot. God, you are such a mess. “So, now that your paper is done, are you busy? We can talk. Or go somewhere else you’d like?”

You look at him, finding the flirty, mischievous smile plastered on his face, but it only adds the feeling of nausea inside your chest. “Do you know Jinyoung? I think he is from engineering too.”

Taehyung nods, a tad bit surprised at your sudden change of topic, yet you continue. “He is my task mate for this paper. And wow… I am really amazed at him.”

“Amazed? Why?”

“So he told me he will propose to his girlfriend tomorrow.” You explain, trying to sound nonchalant. “It’s just amazing, I think. How can someone be sure to marry someone else at such an early age, that he will stay true to just one person and one person only for the rest of his life?”

“What—Seriously? There is still people as naive as that?” Taehyung snickers, and you could feel your heart drop at his vivid disdain at the mention of serious relationship. “Come on, it's the 21st century. People really think anyone can be chained into a monogamous relationship for the rest of their lives? Grow up.”

“He has been in a relationship with her since middle school.”

Taehyung’s eyes are wide as saucers. “And still wanna go through with that? I can see why you said it’s amazing, Y/N.”

“I think alike too.” You curtly sneer, folding your arm on your chest. “He asked me what I thought about it and I encouraged him to go ahead and propose. And do you wanna know why I am sad? Because I’m jealous, Taehyung. Along the way, I have turned too skeptical of love and started losing faith that I’ll have someone like that too. Too tired of actually thinking about who I should date and instead settle for undeserving men. I hate it.”

“Y/N, trust me. I know how men think, especially all these boys. It’s easy to think you can tie them up into a relationship, but it’s like.. a timer, waiting to blow off.” Taehyung stubbornly explains like love is a disease—just the way you expect him to. “It’s like you are waiting for the heartbreak. Please don’t be naive like that.”

“So what if I try and I fail?” The frustration is clear in your tone, irritated that Taehyung exactly sounds like a parent telling their kid Santa doesn’t exist. “That doesn’t mean I’m naive. At least I’m a step closer to finding sincere love, not like you fuckboys that are allergic to have a mutual love and respectful relationship.”

“Y/N, when you are a child of divorce, it is hard to believe that love does exist.” Taehyung intently stares at you, before letting go the breath he has been holding. “It’s not entirely impossible, I know there are some happy marriages too. But how can you guarantee you’re that lucky 1% with the compassionate, dreamy, lovey dovey monogamous relationship you have been worshipping about? It’s unrealistic—and doesn’t make sense.”

“But how can I know if I don’t try?!” You ruffle your hair in frustration, face reddening in anger. “I’d rather try and fail rather than not do anything at all. But you know what? I have no one to blame but myself. I am the one thinking that I might find love in college, filled with pubescent fuckboys. You are right, Taehyung. I should have known in the first place. I have to avoid you—exactly boys like you.”

Taehyung reaches out to you with his right hand, sadness and panic coloring his face. “Hey—hey. I am sorry, Y/N. Please, please don’t be like this. I overstepped it, I know. I—you’ll find it. You’ll love someone that truly loves you too. Don’t be like this, okay? I am sorry.”

Realizing that you have not replied since the fight occurred few minutes ago, Taehyung stops his car on the side of the street, just a few metres from your house. He is now facing you, holding your hand while brushing it against his thumb in regret.

“I am sorry. I was wrong, it... it wasn’t my place to be judgmental about your life choices.” Taehyung is quick to apologize, his large eyes showing nothing but genuineness. “I am just.. Sad. I am sad. You know why Y/N?”

You still are not looking at him, but he continues, even with constricted throat. He is too desperate. “Because I care about you. Seeing you cry, it’s like seeing myself too. I feel awful whenever I see you cry, I think even worse than my own. And the thought of someone breaking your heart? I don’t want to imagine that.” Taehyung whispers, shifting you to face him, eyes locking with a splash of anguish while your heart pounds fast until you can hear it echoes in your ear.

“I have opened myself to you more than anyone else, and I’d like to think you do likewise. I am comfortable talking to you, and for you to talk to me as well. And to imagine that you have someone else that you will go to whenever you are happy, or sad, or in need of a mere hug—it’s just… it’s making me feel lonely and sad.” The smile on his lips is now painted with a hint of sadness, eyes looking down to his lap.

“These few weeks with you.. I feel good. I finally, finally feel good about myself, like I’m not alone again. You make me kind of want to protect myself instead of hurting it. That’s a first.” Taehyung shyly chuckles, scratching his nape. Your eyebrows crinkled. What does he mean by that? He likes you, but only as a friend? Do you even want to find out and voluntarily get hurt?

“I just… Can I be selfish, Y/N? At least until you find someone deserving of all your love and attention?”

Instead of answering, you shut him with softly embracing his lips with your own. It doesn’t even need a mere second for Taehyung to respond, his arms are swift in supporting you by the waist, both your arms are secured around his neck. His lips are warm, fluff, and taste just the way you remember—like honey or great whiskey. The kiss is slow paced, nothing like your previous sexual encounters when both of you are just desperate to reach the ultimate peak, but now? You feel how much he savors every second, trying to make you as comfortable as ever with his gesture. As few seconds go by, his tongue has softly embraces yours, until you are left breathless. You softly tug his hair as he moans to the kiss, drunk with the taste of you.

At that time, you despise thinking. You despise the fact that you feel likewise. Too desperate to have him against you, to hold him close, to feel his lips, and you despise hearing the alarm screaming at the back of your head at how dangerous it is—you simply don’t want to stop. Yes, it is as easy as flipping over a hand to know that against every odd, you like him. You like Taehyung, the renowned fuckboy. And you don’t know when, or why. Maybe that one time he waited for you with no certainty and hugged you when you were having a breakdown. Or that time he listened to your story attentively and gave you an encouraging pat on the back. Or that time he picked you up, held you close, gave you flowers and kindly interacted with your parents. Or maybe all of it. You don’t know.

But then a scary realization enters you. You are just about to do it again—the thing you swear you will avoid with all you might. You settle for less. You are about to settle for Taehyung, this amazing, wonderful man who cares about you more deeply than anyone else, but will never go down that road with you. He doesn’t believe in relationships, he will never settle down and label himself for anyone. And this kiss you are sharing with him? Or the hook-ups you might just be this close of doing? That is literally driving you further inside this anonymous yet strong feeling you have for him. It’s doing you harm, and you desperately need to stop

That’s how you forcefully detach yourself for him, giving a thin, forced smile and mutter your goodbye whilst exiting his car. You quickly run to your house without even once looking back, closing the gate behind you while desperately looking up to avoid the tears from raining down on your cheek.

Yes, at least you tried, and now you know. It’s not Taehyung—it will never be him.

===================

You are correct, there is a second part to this that i’ll hopefully post soon! I really hope you like it, and please leave a message in comment and ask box, it would help a lot! thank you for reading, lovelies~

UPDATED : The Platinum Rules (Finale) : Click Here!

#taehyung #taehyung au #taehyung angst #taehyung fluff #bts au #bts fluff #bts angst #bts fuckboy #taehyung fuckboy #bts fake relationship

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tinyboxxtink · 3 years

Text

Build Me Up Buttercup *Part 8*

This one goes out to @wanniiieeee

If you need to catch up:

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 9

Note: In the universe of this story, we're saying Barba is 40, the rest of the squad is like 35-38

ALSO-- WOWWWWWWW I have just realized the whole "super young detective super genius" persona was from the one shot I wrote right before this. Wow. I am so sorry guys. I hope that didn't totally take away from it, we'll just say it was always a thing. Cool? Cool. 😅

“2 vodka shots, top shelf,”

You instructed the bartender as you sat down in the very edged corner of the bar, making sure a seat was empty next to you. Like a moth to the flame Rafael slipped into it before you finished your sentence.

“Ah, I don’t really care for vodka,” he smirked.

“Who said those were for you? I’m obviously not driving anywhere tonight,” you rolled your eyes.

“Right….I’ll have 2 Jose Cuervo shots, thanks,” he nodded at the bartender, noticing you were giving him a “look”.

“What? I’m not gonna let you get drunk alone,”

“2 shots is hardly going to get me drunk counselor, I can’t say the same for you,” you eyed him up and down.

“Pfft, please…” Rafael laughed.

The bartender returned with your four shots. You downed your two like they were water, then glanced at Barba. He took one of his shots and turned bright red, coughing wildly. You couldn’t help but smirk.

“You were saying?” You asked, trying your damnedest not to burst out laughing.

“It’s fine, it just...went down the wrong pipe,” he croaked.

“Mmmhmm well take the other one then,” You smirked.

He hesitated, but wouldn’t dare let himself be shown up like this, especially in front of you. He took the second shot glass and downed it; this time he only made a horrible face, but kept the liquid down nice and easy.

“You were saying?” He choked out with a fake smile, and you couldn’t help but smile. Dammit, NO. Stick to the plan.

“Can we please not do this,” You sighed, putting back on your chilly demeanor.

“Do what?”

“The whole witty flirty banter thing, I’m really not in the mood. Especially after you just rejected me,” You gestured between the two of you.

“I didn’t REJECT--”

“We’re working, Y/N. Your insane crush is super flattering, Y/N. Neither of those sound good for me,” you scoffed.

“You have an ‘insane crush’ on me?” Rafael’s eyes perked up with a smile.

“Wha--no I was mocking you, moron,” You hit him casually.

“But I didn’t know you had an insane crush on me until this moment, so that couldn’t have been me,” he teased.

“Ok this is what I’m talking about,” you tried to stay angry, but the vodka was kicking in and all you could do was stare at his lips.

“I’m not rejecting you,” he simply stated, causing your eyebrows to arch.

“Sounds like tequila talking,” you scoffed.

“I was never trying to reject you, I just--” he tried explaining but you cut him off.

“Don’t wanna lead me on?”

“Excuse me?” he nearly choked again.

“I’m not stupid, counselor. Or deaf,” you narrowed your eyes at him; he looked at you with puppy dog confusion.

“I heard you and Liv’s conversation,” his eyes went wide with fear.

“....How much?”

“Enough to know she’s not ok with it, and you’re gonna listen because you guys are like, soulmates or something,” you gestured sarcastically.

“What?”

“Oh please, I’ve seen you around each other for over a year now. You’re so in sync, it’s like you're one person,” you couldn’t believe you had to explain this to him.

“We’re not together,” he blurted out rather quickly, causing you to give him a “really?” stare.

“...But she doesn’t want you with anyone else,” you raised an eyebrow.

“She doesn’t want me with you,” he murmured, looking at the empty shot glass.

“See?! Told you!” You slapped the bar triumphantly.

“No! Ugh….look, I don’t care what Liv wants, or thinks,” Rafael gently pounded the bar with a fist.

“Prove it,” you smirked.

“Excuse me?”

“Prove it. Kiss me,” you dared him.

“That’s not-- I’m not gonna--” he half laughed nervously.

“Hey you said you didn’t care what Liv thinks, and I can promise you you’re not leading me on. And I know you’ve wanted to since you walked back in here,”

“What? No, I didn’t-- pfft you...that’s not why I--” He tried coming up with an answer, but the tequila was hitting him hard.

“Then prove it….counselor,” you moved yourself up on the barstool closer to him, your faces now inches apart.

Rafael’s brain was frozen, all the blood in his body had already travelled south. He stared at your lips, willing himself to be strong but losing. Finally after a few seconds, you couldn’t wait anymore; you grabbed his collar and pulled him into you, HARD. He nearly fell off his own stool, he grabbed your shoulders to balance, pulling you further into him. Both of your minds went completely blank in that moment. All the bull shit of this wretched day had been erased, and all that mattered was this moment, your mouths exploring each other like Lewis and Clark. It was so intense and powerful it caused a few hoots and hollers from nearby patrons. Rafael felt your huge smile against his lips, and he couldn’t help but return the gesture. His hands ran through your hair, hungrily biting your lip. It took you all you had not to moan right there. You both tasted the burning of the two liquors mixing, almost making it that much more intoxicating. You lost all sense of time until--

“AHEM,”

You both snapped apart, and looked to see the squad, Olivia at the head, standing there in shock. Well, three of them looked shocked, Olivia looked PISSED.

“...I found a body shop near here that will send someone to fix your tire first thing in the morning, 6 am SHARP. So we’re going to check in that motel next door. ALL of us,” She practically growled at the two of you.

“...Yeah, yeah sure Liv whatever you want,” Barba tried to casually play off the fact that his face was covered in your lipstick. You muttered some awkward agreement phrases, throwing down a $20.

“Keep the change,” You whispered, lagging just behind the group. Rafael fell behind as you kept walking.

“Ooooh, you two are in troubleeee!!!” Amanda giggled, causing you both to glare at her.

“Shut up!” You hissed. Rafael tugged on your shoulder signaling you to chill.

“I’ll pay you back,” he whispered.

“What?” You said in a normal tone.

“For the shots,” he motioned back towards the bar.

“Oh, yeah that’s what I’m worried about right now,”

The six of you walked in silence after that, through the parking lot and into the “lobby” of the motel. It was basically a room consisting of: a vending machine, a couch, a black and white TV, and a desk where a girl who looked no older than 16 stood behind, playing on her phone.

“Excuse me,” Olivia knocked on the desk, getting the girls attention. She looked at the group and sighed, rolling her eyes and reluctantly putting her phone away.

“3 rooms?” She asked, gesturing to the three couplets you all happened to be standing in. Amanda and Carisi, Fin and Olivia, obviously you and Barba.

“Wha--NO,” Olivia almost yelled. “We’ll take six rooms,”

“Ah but--” Sonny protested, gesturing to Amanda, who quickly elbowed him in the gut.

“For how many hours?” She began typing into a computer that looked like it was from the 80’s.

“....Overnight? 6 am,” She shook her head at the seediness of this hotel becoming more and more apparent.

“$1920,” The girl replied, looking back down at her phone.

“EXCUSE ME?”

“The rooms are $40 an hour ma’am, times 8 hours. That’s 320. Times 6. That’s--”

“$1920,” Olivia bit her lip, trying her best not to explode.

“...I’ll uh, I’ll get it, Liv,” Barba spoke up as he walked up to counter, handing the girl his credit card. They traded looks that looked like an entire argument between eyebrows.

“Six keys, they’re the six rooms right next door. Get out by six am sharp or we’ll keep charging your card until you do.” The girl threw keys at the group nonchalantly, not looking back up from her phone.

“Great hospitality there, princess,” Sonny shot her a sarcastic smile, not like she noticed.

The group returned outside to the parking lot, Olivia handed out keys.

“Alright, meet back here in six hours. SIX HOURS, NO LATER,” She warned, looking each member in the eye; she lingered on you and then stopped on Barba.

“Can I speak with you?”

“Dun dun dun,” Carisi chuckled, Amanda couldn’t help but giggle. Fin rolled his eyes and peaced out, he wasn’t about the drama.

“ALONE,” She enunciated, motioning the three of you to run along. You all complied….to a spot around the corner, out of her sight.

“What did I JUST say, Rafael?!” Olivia began pacing.

“You said not to lead her on, I’m not leading her on,” Rafael stated calmly.

“I also said that she clearly has some kind of crush on you, and was trying to seduce you!” Olivia gestured towards where you had walked off towards.

“Oh Liv come on--” he started but Liv was not having it.

“I saw her kiss you! SHE kissed YOU!” she started to raise her voice.

“I would’ve kissed her if she hadn’t!” He bit back defensively

“God, don’t tell me that Rafa. I really wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt here,” Olivia sighed deeply, her hands wrapping around the back of her head.

“What are you talking about?” Rafael’s eyes questioned her.

“SHE 'S 28, RAFAEL. You’re 12 years older than her! You really think that banging her is a great idea?” Oliva wagged a finger at him.

“HEY. Olivia, it’s not like that,” Rafael’s voice raised higher, she was not going to cheapen what you and him had today.

“Oh please-- you’ve been around her for a YEAR, Rafael. You two have barely spoken two words to each other for a YEAR. And...and what, we come out to the country and you lose your minds?” Olivia scoffed.

“No, it’s not like--” He tried speaking again but Olivia was on a tirade.

“You have one conversation in a bathroom and suddenly you’re soulmates? Really, Rafa?” She scoffed again.

“Look, Liv. I love you, but I’m not gonna stand here and take this, ok? You’re right. I am a grown man, and you can’t tell me who I can and can’t ba--date!” Rafael kicked himself for getting caught up in her judgmental terms; this isn't some booty call. You weren’t just a piece of ass to him.

“No, but I can tell her,” Oliva said eerily soft.

“Excuse me?” Rafael felt threatened, and he didn’t like it.

“If you start sleeping with that girl Rafa I swear to God, she will be on desk duty until she retires,” She warned.

“Oh real mature Liv,” Barba rolled his eyes angrily.

“Oh yeah I’M the immature one here,”

“You’re such a hypocrite, this is SUCH a double standard” Rafael raised his voice again.

“What do you mean?” Oliva narrowed her eyes.

“What do I mean--” He sarcastically laughed. “I mean clearly Rollins and Carisi have been sleeping together for MONTHS now,” He gestured towards where Sonny and Amanda had walked towards.

Sonny acted offended for half a second, then shrugged. He wasn’t wrong.

“And you, how many people have you dated ‘within the family’? In fact, when’s the last time you dated someone NOT ‘in the family’?” He asked in a soft, serious tone, his fists clenching in and out.

“....THAT, is different,” She lowered her voice, trying not to lose it in the parking lot. She took a deep breath and continued

“Rollins and Carisi have known each other for YEARS, and they’re ADULTS,” She emphasized.

“We’re adults!” Barba argued.

“Are you? Because right now the two of you are acting like teenagers, sneaking around and hooking up when you’re supposed to be working.” Olivia snapped back.

Then, all of a sudden her eyes lit up with an idea. An evilly brilliant idea.

“Alright, how about this,” She paused.

“You say this isn’t just about sex, and I say it is. So...” she circled him like he was a suspect she was shaking down.

“Why don’t you go ahead and go ‘bang it out’ with the junior detective,”

Rafael’s jaw dropped. “You cannot be serious--”

“Why? Because you know I’m right?” Olivia baited him, but quickly lost any fun she was having with it when she saw the anguish in Rafael’s eyes.

“I know you’re a good person, Rafa. You don’t wanna hurt that girl any more than I want you to,”

“I’m not going to---”

“Alright fine, then chance it. Go to her right now. But you better be ready to accept the consequences for her. Because I’m pretty damn sure when we get back to the city, you’re gonna realize that you and her don’t make sense,”

“And if I don’t?” he asked.

“Then I’ll give you my blessing. I won’t like it, but if it’s really what you want, I can’t stand in the way of my friend being happy,” She placed a hand on his shoulder, a small smile finally appearing.

“Thank you Liv,” Rafa smiled back, giving her a small hug.

“I wouldn’t thank me yet-- in fact if this costs me a detective I’m using your pay grade to find another one!” She walked off with a small laugh.

"Maybe we should...." Amanda tugged Sonny's sleeve and they walked away, shooting you apologetic looks.

This was infuriating; they were standing there joking about your life, making decisions for you.

You stomped away towards your room before Liv and Barba could see you eavesdropping.

Would he chance it? Would you let him chance it?

#rafael barba #rafael barba x you #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba imagine #law and order special victims unit #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfiction #build me up buttercup

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solalunar-eclipse · 3 years

Text

Scars You Can’t See - Chapter 12

Chapter title: Beliefs

Word count: about 4100 words

Author’s Note: How did I write over four thousand words?? Mostly I’m just grateful this chapter got out in time, but still. Wow.

First | Previous | Next

...

Over the next few days, Team Sonic dedicated their time to helping their counterparts recover from the exhausting ordeal of the past couple weeks. Tails worked to replace some of Omega’s burnt-out wiring (from his attack on G.U.N.), while Knuckles and Sonic...well, they wanted to take care of Rouge and Shadow, but it was very difficult when both Mobians kept insisting that they were “fine really, don’t worry about us so much” despite looking like they could collapse at any second.

The general stress level on the island was only raised upon a second call from the president, since she requested that a few of them come see her to discuss what should be done with G.U.N. at her office. Shadow and Rouge obviously weren’t going. Neither of them were ready to deal with the president, let alone the press (even if the latter continued to insist otherwise). The sheer idea of being in the same city as G.U.N. had especially shaken Shadow, even if he refused to say so.

Sonic had seen how he cringed at the mere idea.

Since Knuckles absolutely refused to leave his island, it was decided that Sonic, Tails, and Omega would travel together to see the president and hear what she had to say. She seemed pretty trustworthy, and if any of her staff wasn’t...they’d be able to handle themselves just fine.

While Tails helped haul Omega into the back seat of the Tornado (an impressive feat considering that he’d used to struggle with lifting Sonic in his early years) and prepared for takeoff, the hedgehog in question was zipping all around the island, trying to make sure everything would be okay while he was away and unable to defend his friends.

“You guys are sure you’re gonna be alright?” he asked for what was probably the fifth time, after Shadow had needed to physically stop him from starting a mini-whirlwind.

“Yes, Blue, we’ll be fine. Now go! You don’t want to keep the president waiting!” Rouge insisted, pushing the worried hero towards the Tornado.

He twisted around, trying to make eye contact with both of them. “You’re really, really-”

“Sonic.” Shadow said calmly. “It’s going to be alright. I promise.”

The hero could practically feel his body untense, finally willing to jump onto the top wing of the biplane and prepare for takeoff. Before Tails fired up the engine, he took one last look at his friends.

Knuckles had walked up beside Rouge and looked like he wanted to put his arm around her waist without being awkward...which just made him look awkward anyway. The bat took the initiative herself, leaning against him comfortably. Her eyes were back to teal again, since she and Shadow had both taken out their contacts pretty quickly.

Rouge had taken off her leather jacket by now, and Sonic could see it lying on the altar next to Omega’s generator- Angel Island was pretty warm, after all. Shadow was still wearing his hoodie, though he’d taken off the glasses. Omega had tried them on once out of curiosity and nearly broken them in the process...so the hybrid simply hadn’t bothered with it after that. His quills were still in a ponytail, which Sonic wasn’t complaining about in the slightest. (It was a good look on him, that was all!)

He switched on his earpiece and settled into his ‘flight’ position once again. “You guys read me?”

“Loud and clear, hon.” Rouge said. “Now go!”

The Tornado’s engine kicked up a roar as the plane wheeled down the clearing and began to lift off the ground. Knuckles and Shadow both waved, while Rouge opted for a mock-salute, which Sonic returned cheerfully as the plane pulled up above the altar.

He crouched low on the top wing as Tails pulled into a turn, angling the plane so that their course was set for Central City yet again. The fox switched on the turbo engine, too, but it would still take them about an hour and a half to reach the city at this rate.

To pass the time, Tails and Omega started talking almost immediately about how they needed to take some time in the workshop to fix up the latter’s various dents and scratches. Both of them seemed pretty excited about this- the former because he’d get to return to his workshop, the latter for style reasons, and both because they’d get to spend time together. Somewhere along the way, Omega insisted loudly that Tails “must return me to my original color as soon as it is possible to do so.”, clearly less than happy about his current paint job.

Sonic sighed as the conversation turned to advanced technical terminology, feeling a little bored. It was a little funny for him to say so, considering that he was blasting through the sky on a biplane going at speeds rivaling advanced jets...but here he was. Bored.

He tapped his feet, trying to look for shapes in the clouds or enjoy the feeling of the wind on his face, anything to avoid checking how long they’d been up in the air….

Too late.

The hero sighed loudly upon discovering that it had only been ten minutes since takeoff. How could something that was usually so cool be so...just...not?

Sonic quickly decided that he had to call up Angel Island right now so that he could find somebody to talk to. As the earpiece patched through to the other end, he heard a sudden “Ngh-” followed by a loud sigh.

“Hey, everything okay there?” he asked, resulting in a startlingly high shriek from the other end.

“Sonic! Don’t do that!” Shadow hissed at him. “Give me a little warning next time!”

“There’s, like, actually no way for me to do that without talking.” Sonic shot back cheerfully, feeling more upbeat already.

“Ugh.” the hybrid groaned, before some sort of thud came through the mike.

“Seriously, though, you okay?”

Shadow sighed. “I’ve spent the past four minutes walking through a tangled, vine-filled forest in any direction that is away from the altar. It could be worse, but it could be better too.”

Sonic frowned, worried. “And why were you walking away from the altar? Are Rouge and Knuckles with you?”

“No.” the hybrid muttered. “They’re kind of busy making out. At the altar. Which is why I’m not there, obviously.”

“Aw, man...they probably just missed each other a lot.”

Shadow sighed. “I know they did, and I’m not judging them. But they deserve some privacy, and I really deserve to not have to watch that.”

Sonic grinned. “Hah! That’s fair. So whatcha doing now?”

“Lying on the ground next to a lake and watching some Flickies on a tree. You?”

“Sitting on the plane. And bored. Or, at least I was. Bored, I mean.” Sonic amended quickly.

The hybrid snickered. “I’d hope you’re still sitting on the plane.”

His smile only grew. Talking with Shadow was always fun- he didn’t know why he hadn’t called sooner!

“Soooo...you feelin’ any better after those power naps of yours?” he asked curiously.

“Actually, yes. Mostly it helps to not be looking over my shoulder all the time.” Shadow sighed again. “It’s…” he trailed off, clearly embarrassed.

“Hey, you can tell me!” Sonic said encouragingly.

“It's difficult to adjust. I...still catch myself looking over my shoulder only to see it’s a fly buzzing, not a plane, or something like that. I shouldn’t be, but I am.”

Sonic wished he was back at the island already so that he could give Shadow all the comfort he deserved. “There won’t be any planes there, Shadow. I mean it. And none of that ‘shouldn’t’ talk, either, ‘kay? It’s alright to be a little stressed, just remember everything’s gonna turn out fine.”

“That means a lot...thank you. Again.”

Sonic could feel a grin spreading across his whole face. “No problem! Now, what I really need to tell ya about is……”

He spent the rest of the flight chatting with the hybrid, catching him up on all the jokes, memes and random news he’d missed over the past couple of weeks. Shadow was eager to listen, and Sonic was so glad to finally be able to tell him everything that he swore he’d never take his friend’s presence for granted again.

Eventually, though, he was pulled back to reality in the middle of a particularly passionate explanation of why exactly it was so cool that the Tomatopotamus 2 movie’s release date was finally out when Tails tapped on his shoulder. “Uh, Sonic? We’re here now.”

“What?” The hero glanced down, only to discover that yes, Central City was in fact right beneath them. “No way, that was like twenty minutes!”

Omega shook his head. “Correction: it has been an hour and twenty minutes.” He sounded smug for some reason, and Sonic glowered at the robot irritably.

“I guess I gotta go for now, sorry.” he sighed into the earpiece.

“Good luck to all three of you.” Shadow said. “I’ll be listening in, and I’ll go break up Knuckles and Rouge now.”

“Good luck to you.” Sonic snickered. He could practically hear Shadow roll his eyes at that one.

They coasted to a stop on the back lawn of the president’s home, the hedgehog pointedly ignoring Tails and Omega’s conversation about the theory of relativity, or something along those lines. Even though he didn’t know what exactly they were talking about, he could guess, and he didn’t approve. At all.

Sonic hopped off the wing of the plane before it had even finished landing the moment he spotted someone on the grass, waving hello as the president herself walked over to greet them. He rushed over to her, taking her hand and shaking it happily.

He and the president had spoken a few times before- being a hero meant he ended up talking with quite a few famous people, but she was one of his favorites. She was relatively young compared to most of the others who had held that title, but she handled herself with the confidence and strength she deserved (and needed) for this station.

“Hey there! How’s the job?” he asked with an understanding grin, knowing all too well how it felt to be responsible for large groups of people at a time.

She dropped his hand (and the remaining air of formality) in favor of running copper fingers tiredly through her hair, letting out a long sigh. “These last few days have been tough, but I know it’s probably not as much stress as you guys have been dealing with. Still sorry about that, by the way.”

Sonic looked up at her, still sympathetic. “It’s not your fault. I bet you’ve probably got a lot on your plate too- dealing with this fallout ain’t gonna be easy.”

“I know, but it’s what I have to do. For your friends, and for everyone.” she said, squaring her shoulders determinedly.

Tails rushed over not long after, having parked and shut down the plane by now. “Hi, Ms. President! How are you?”

“Hello, Tails,” she said. Impressively, she was one of the few adults who refused to talk down to the young fox, instead treating him like the mature person he was. (This definitely earned her a few extra points in Sonic’s book.) “I’m perfectly alright...I hope you all aren’t doing too badly.”

The president had the thoughtfulness to at least look a little awkward at that, clearly embarrassed by the fact that some of the United Federation’s most famed heroes were now essentially unable to live in the country without being in serious danger.

Omega greeted her as well as he made his way over, clearly alright with being at least somewhat decent to the woman who had helped shut down G.U.N.

“Would you like to come inside?” she asked politely. “I promise, there’s nothing inside but some Secret Service...and hopefully cake, if I requested it early enough.” she added with a warmer smile.

“What are we here for?” the robot asked bluntly, unprepared to trust as easily as the two Mobians were.

“Right!” she said, taking his question in stride. “I’m working on a new set of rules with the congressional branch that deal with some of the problems within G.U.N. so that they don’t crop up in the future, as well as trying to figure out what to do with them in general- so I wanted your opinion on both of those subjects! As long as that’s alright with you?”

Shadow spoke up in Sonic’s ear. “Rouge is interested and so am I.”

“Totally!” Sonic chirped, following her inside. Omega agreed with Rouge and Shadow (somewhat reluctantly), having tapped into the hero’s communications as they were landing.

Halfway up the stairs to the president’s office, the first lady came rushing in the opposite direction, apologizing all the while for getting in their way. “Hi, Sonic! Hi Tails! Hello, Omega! So nice to see you! Sorry, the cat’s gotten loose again…” she sighed, sagging against the railing briefly.

“We really need to get him a tracking collar, don’t we?” The president shook her head, her soft Afro bouncing as she pinched the bridge of her nose briefly. “Good luck finding him, anyway.”

“Have fun in your meeting!” the first lady chirped, winking overdramatically at her wife for emphasis before rushing off in search of their cat.

Tails grinned up at the president. “I know how you feel...sometimes I want to get a tracker chip for Sonic when he stays out too long on a run.”

“Hey!” the hero protested, but nobody seemed to be terribly worried about his pride. He could hear Knuckles, Shadow and Rouge laughing in his ear, too, and he pouted, wishing more than anything that he could offer a snappy comeback- but he couldn’t give away the fact that he had an earpiece in.

The president invited them into her office and began to lay out her plans for how to improve the country. The legislative body was working with her on some sort of complete shutdown and restructuring of G.U.N.- it seemed like there were going to be new leaders, new hiring processes, review systems, a different set of priorities…and that was just the start.

It was a lot, but Sonic was glad that she’d at least given them the opportunity to hear about these plans. Shadow and Rouge got to provide their input as well, which was great, but only through Omega, not Sonic. They would’ve trusted the president with that information, for sure, but the two members of the Secret Service behind her desk?

No way.

Especially not when Rouge recognized one of them from G.U.N.’s special training programs. They might not be close enough with the organization for it to really mean anything, but the group definitely didn’t want to take chances.

Partway through the meeting (not long after the cake arrived), the main phone on the president’s desk rang, startling everyone out of their conversation. She picked it up with a calm “Hello?”, but her eyes quickly widened as the person on the other end began to speak.

“Thank you.” she said quickly, before putting the phone down. Her eyes met Sonic’s, and he felt his stomach drop. The hero suddenly wished he hadn’t eaten just yet…

“Three representatives of G.U.N. are at the front gate.” the president said quietly.

The hero heard a gasp in his ear. He wasn’t sure who had done so, but the sound made his surprise morph quickly into defensiveness. “Omega. Tails. Do you guys want to meet with them?” he asked coolly, his face losing most of its expression.

“I would...like to do so.” the robot said.

Tails met Sonic’s gaze. “Yeah, same here.”

They moved to the main conference room, and the three heroes stood at one end of a long table, waiting for the members of G.U.N. to appear. It didn’t take long before they were buzzed in, and Sonic could feel himself shifting into a more confrontational stance, prepared to fight if necessary.

The commander was the first one to enter the room. His presence immediately raised everyone’s tension levels- at the very least, he seemed to be aware of it. He almost looked...a little embarrassed?

The silence on the other end of the communicator was near-deafening.

He was followed almost immediately by an agent that Sonic didn’t recognize, a wolf who seemed more than a little bit awkward and apologetic. She sat down to his left, sneaking glances at each of the three heroes in the room.

After that, a skinny, pale sort of guy entered the room, looking incredibly full of himself. Sonic wasn’t usually one to get bad first impressions of people, but this person irritated him almost immediately. Omega obviously recognized him- and not in a good way- as he began to make several loud clicking noises not unlike those of guns loading. On purpose, of course.

The commander sat down last (still seeming less than comfortable), cleared his throat, and looked up at the other three. “Before I speak, is there anything you would like to say?”

Sonic, Tails and Omega regarded him in stony silence.

He shuffled some of the papers in front of him and sighed quietly. “I would like to begin by apologizing for the distress I and the organization I serve have caused to you and your friends. All of you. I wish...no, I should have handled this in a different manner- requested a meeting, spoken with you first, done something to ensure that my intentions did not appear malicious. But instead…

“...instead I have distanced myself from three of the most skilled people ever to serve under my command, as well as further tarnished G.U.N.’s already ruined reputation. I…” The commander sighed here. This speech was already taking a lot out of him, Sonic could tell.

“I fear that my father’s views have heavily influenced my own, to say the absolute least, especially regarding my job and what needed to be done to serve this organization. ‘Shoot first and ask questions later’ was a favorite motto of his, and one that I accepted for a long, long time...my family has discussed with me lately (and quite gently, perhaps more so than I deserve) about how that ideology is problematic, to say the least.

“I liked to think I was not a bad person. That I was being more open-minded. But now I see that I was foolish to believe as much. I chose to try and salvage G.U.N., to cover up the mistakes as others have done before me because it was ‘for the good of the country’, because ‘other people wouldn’t understand what needs to be done’, and more. My guilty conscience wishes I would blame my father for my mistakes, but at some point, one must take responsibility for one’s own failures.

“Particularly…” and here he looked directly at the three of them, though he almost seemed to be searching for someone else instead, “...having alienated the last person on this planet who truly can comprehend the life I have led.”

Sonic realized with a start that he was talking about Shadow.

“All I can say now is that as of tomorrow, I am resigning as commander of G.U.N. I clearly have not succeeded in improving this organization at all, so I believe a new, younger face...someone without prior biases or contacts...would be better for us now.”

The hero heard gasps in both his ears- one from Rouge and Shadow, the other from the wiry man in front of him. Said human immediately started stammering at the commander, asking him why in the world he thought this was a good idea. The older man in turn merely waved him off with a stern word or two, forcing the other human to sink back into his seat with an obviously displeased expression.

The lavender wolf, the president, Omega, and Tails, on the other hand, all seemed to approve of the commander’s decision, as did Sonic. The hero felt nothing but relief now, hoping that finally, the big things could start to change for the better.

They spoke a little longer, the tensions mostly eased now (with the exception of the skinny guy, of course, who Rouge irritably identified as the less-than-respectful PR officer that the team had spoken to way back in the beginning). The conversation wasn’t very important, just polite nonsense about how change should be made soon and all that.

Things weren’t comfortable by any means, and they shouldn’t have been, but...Sonic felt a little lighter at the thought that someone important in G.U.N. at least accepted what was going on.

As the three heroes left, the commander asked them for one favor. “Could you please tell Shadow and Rouge that I apologize for the way G.U.N. has behaved? The way in which I have commanded this organization is wrong...I can see that now.”

Sonic offered him a quick flash of a grin, realizing that the commander truly didn’t know about his earpiece, nor Omega’s connection. “Hey, being able to apologize says a lot, too. I’ll be sure to let them know, don’t worry.”

“Thank you, and safe travels.”

“You too, alright?” he replied politely, before hopping onto the Tornado with a wave.

The flight back seemed to take forever (really, this time), partly because Sonic was dying to get back and partly because his friends seemed too busy talking seriously to chat. He tried his best to bask in the feeling of hope, but it was difficult to focus when his excitement was rising with each passing second.

As soon as they landed, he jumped off and ran over to his friends. “It’s gonna be alright now, guys!” he said, grinning at them. “You’re gonna go home soon!”

Rouge gave him a big smile back, before rushing over to Omega to celebrate. “Did you hear that, Omega? We’ll be home in a couple of weeks, max! Shadow-”

She trailed off, watching him carefully. The hybrid was staring down at the ground, his hands trembling slightly. “It’s...done? Then what now? What should we do?” he asked, trying to keep his voice calm and failing miserably. Sonic’s ears drooped a little as he heard the shake in his friend’s voice.

“Now you get to rest. You’ve earned it, you know that? I know it’s tough to just...go back and chill after everything, but you gotta know when to let other people carry on the work ya started, alright?” Sonic said carefully, stepping closer and closer to Shadow. His hands hovered slightly over his friend’s arms, unwilling to touch the hybrid unless he was alright with it first.

Suddenly, Shadow leaned into Sonic’s chest, his eyes shut tightly, clearly fighting back some sort of emotion. The hero held his friend tightly, sinking to his knees in an attempt to comfort Shadow better. Rouge and Omega rushed over, holding him tight as well. “Hey…” the bat said gently, “Shadow, we’re all going to be okay, I promise. We can stop now.”

“How do we know? What if something happens and it all goes wrong-”

Sonic stopped him right there. “We can set up whatever you need to feel comfortable, but trust me, we’ll all make sure nothing goes wrong. I’ll hold the president to her word, and so will everyone else here.”

“But...nobody’s ever really been able to stop G.U.N. before...not even me.” Shadow said quietly.

“There are more people on your side now, Shadow.” Omega replied, looking down at him. “You are not alone in this fight- so many others want this too.”

“I’ll have to wait and see before I can believe that.” he muttered, sighing.

Tails and Knuckles walked over too, the former offering him a hopeful smile and the latter clapping a hand on his shoulder. “You guys can stay here a while longer, I guess, until everything’s sorted out.” the echidna said, trying his best to help.

“Yeah!” Sonic cheered. “We’ll make sure this all gets fixed up properly, alright?”

Shadow smiled faintly at him. “I’ll hold you to that, Sonic.”

The hero couldn’t help but grin back, all his hope for his friend bursting through. And when Shadow’s smile grew just that little bit more real, he was determined to do absolutely whatever it took to make the hybrid smile properly again and again, without any fear holding him back.

He knew, without a doubt, that Shadow was more than deserving of all the happiness in the world.

#shadow the hedgehog #rouge the bat #e 123 omega #sonic the hedgehog #miles tails prower #knuckles the echidna #whoa that's a lot of people #scars you can't see #sycs #sol's fanfiction #i almost thought i wouldn't be able to get this out in time...#life has decided to throw lots of work at me so the last chapter might be a couple of days late #we'll see #also a few clarifications:#the commander is beginning to realize that his father taught him about the world in a very very biased way #and feels pretty bad about it #i didn't know how to end this since it was the chapter with the least planning behind it #so hopefully it turned out alright #and finally #i tried to make it clear that the president is Black but in a respectful way #if i failed to do that then please please please let me know and i will change it #also hopefully shadow wasn't too ooc at the end there #:S #hope you enjoyed the update and have a wonderful day!

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eirabach · 4 years

Text

Taking Chances [1/1]

For @janetm74 and @badthingshappenbingo! Scott + Alan and ‘More Expendable than You’

This is the danger.

This has always been the danger.

Scott’s up here, and Alan’s down there and really, John ought to know.

It isn’t like he wouldn’t do it too.

There’s a hole in the ground and a hole in Scott’s belly where he thinks, he thinks, he used to keep his stomach but it dropped right out oh, about ten minutes ago, and now it’s burning up in the lava flow right about where Pod B is creeping its way toward – well. Hell, by all accounts.

All accounts except John’s, anyway.

John has other words for it. Long, scientific ones. Like pyroclastic and rates of descent and –

And it’s possible Scott stopped listening somewhere between watching his youngest brother clamber up the side of a rumbling volcano and the thunder that followed, and now there’s ash billowing from one hole and bile from the other and he doesn’t really have time for this. At all.

“Say again, Thunderbird One?”

“You heard me, John.”

“I heard someone suggest something unutterably stupid. Are you sure you don’t want to try again? That ash cloud isn’t staying up there all day, Scott, and you do not want to be under it when it drops.”

“I can beat it.” There’s the John equivalent of a long, pregnant pause. “I can.”

“You can’t just demand – that isn’t how physics –”

“I don’t give a damn about physics, John!”

A voice pipes up from the smoking, burning fields below. “Uh, do I get a say in this?”

“No!”

“No.”

“Right.” Alan sighs, “I mean I am the one on the ground so –”

“Shut up, Alan.”

“Hold your position, Pod Explorer. Scott –”

But Scott’s done with listening, already out of his seat, helmet on, jet pack primed. He sets Thunderbird One to hover outside of the range of the ash cloud, and kicks at the emergency egress button.

“Save it,” he says, and jumps.

And it works – at first. He roars down toward the little yellow dot below, boosters at full power, and honestly John worries way too much about all the wrong things. Scott’s got this and then he’s gonna get Alan and then –

Ah. And then. The wind changes, ash blinding him as it sticks to his visor, settles heavy on his shoulders. Makes his jet pack whine and stutter and –

He hits the ground with a grunt, not quite hard enough to really hurt, but enough to wind him, the jetpack taking most of the impact anyway. Which is just as well, really, because as he sits up – gingerly, not that he’d admit it – he realises, oh.

“Uh, John –” The piece of land he’s landed on is maybe ten feet square, the edges crumbling into a bubbling, stinking lake of fire. “I may have a situation.”

Even through the sound of the ground cracking around him, the sputtering of the lava around his little island, the howl of the dying volcano, he hears the sigh – “Alright. You asked for it.”

—

On the other side of the volcano, Two is ferrying the unlucky denizens of the closest campground to safety and Virgil – Virgil sounds pissed.

“EVA. Under an ash cloud that’s gonna drop blocks of rock the size of Four on your head. Of course, why wouldn’t you?” Alan’s pretty sure he can hear a migraine forming just from the tone of Virgil’s voice. “How long?”

“Under current atmospheric conditions? Less than three minutes.”

“2.5074,” Eos pipes up cheerfully. “And counting.”

“I can’t – I have fifty people to get to safety here Scott!”

“I know, I don’t expect –”

“No? Now we’ve gotta worry about you as well!”

“No one needs to worry about me!”

“Oh well that’s okay then, hope you’ve got your best boots on.” And then there’s Gordon, sticking his oar in. “Since you’re gonna be tap dancing your way to a fiery doom.“

"Right this moment I’d pay to see that.”

“I can hear you you know.”

“Oh it’s just selective hearing loss then?”

Alan drops his head to the dash with a metallic thud.

“Uh, you ok?” His rescuee looks pretty uncomfortable squeezed into the back of the pod. Listening to International Rescue bickering is probably not helping.

“I’m really sorry about this.“

"Hey, no. I got a brother. I get it.”

Alan hits his baldric with a grimace. “Thunderbird One hold your position.”

“Ala –”

“Do as you’re told for once Scott.”

He has no idea if the answering silence is due to shock or muting, and he doesn’t honestly much care.

His fingers tighten around the Pod’s controls. He could – he ought to – ask John what to do next, but John’s kinda got a lot going on right now with the whole ‘evacuate an entire county while simultaneously dressing Scott down to the size of a newt’ thing. But the clock is ticking and the hiker in the back is sweating and –

And this is his goddamn job, isn’t it?

Pod B makes its delicate way over the cracked crust of the lava flow, and Alan keeps his eyes fixed on the route ahead – on Scott – instead of the billowing threat 200 yards away.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

He grits his teeth, counts down from ten. “Rescuing an idiot.” Then, because he feels like it. “Duh.”

Already Alan can see the rock beneath Scott shifting with the currents, and they’re slow enough now but that cloud’s coming down and Scott’s gonna be –

“No.”

“Excuse me?” Alan extends the Pod’s legs and sends up a swift, silent prayer that Brains’ heat proofing stands the test. “I’ll be one minute and then we can –”

“Alan, no. Back off.”

Pod B pauses, one spindly toe dipped into the lava field between Alan and Scott. “Say what now? Look Scott, I dunno where you were during third grade history but lemme tell you what happened to the people in Pompeii cause it was –”

“Get out of here, and that’s an order.”

“You gotta be –” Alan’s denial is cut short, a block of volcanic matter as tall as the Pod and twice as wide slamming into the unstable ground to his right. The hiker whimpers. “Oh man! Okay. okay!” He sets the Pod skipping through the pools, smoke and steam obscuring much of what’s in front of him until Scott’s just a vague blueish blur. “Get ready to jump on cause uh, I ain’t gonna have time to roll out the red carpet or anything –”

“I said, leave.”

“Nuh huh, not happening, hang on just two more seconds –”

“Alan!”

He skids to a halt at the edge of Scott’s little island and shoves the door open.

“Come on, come on, come on!”

Scott – Scott backs off. Alan gapes at him.

“What are you –”

“I said go!”

“And leave you to roast? What, like you’re expendable now?”

“Well – well maybe I’m just more expendable than you.”

It hits him harder than any pyroclastic flow ever could. His heart skips a beat, six, starts up only to try and climb out his throat and god, he might actually be sick. He might just straight up vomit his entire heart out onto the floor ‘cause that only sounds over dramatic but what Scott’s threatening – what Scott’s doing –

Alan narrows his eyes. Wills his heart to stop trying to beat its way through his chestplate.

“I have never heard anything so stupid in all my life. Get in. Or I’m getting out.”

They stare at each other. Somewhere in the back of his mind Alan faintly recognises the sound of his hiker having a panic attack. He thinks it’s the hiker. Maybe it’s him. Doesn’t matter. What matters is that Scott’s still just standing there and their two minutes is up and –

Gordon’s voice is grim, serious, and man there is gonna be one awkward family dinner tonight.

“Alan, grab him. By the balls if necessary.”

Alan does as he’s told. Scott’s almost twice his size and weighed down by a jetpack but he hardly even notices, dragging him up through the hatch and launching him in the direction of the definitely semi hysterical hiker. Two’s grappling hooks hit them at the same moment Scott lands half in the poor guy’s lap, and Alan points a shaking finger at him as he tries to stagger to his feet against the sway of the Pod.

“Stay there. Say nothing.”

They rise towards Two’s belly in a perfect, awkward silence that’s broken only by the clang of the pod doors opening and the shuddering breaths of the unfortunate hiker.

Alan docks the Pod with far more force than is really necessary. Scott grapples to keep his footing again, and a little dark part of Alan thinks serves you right. The hiker clears his throat.

“Uh – thank you. I um – I can get out now, right?”

Alan grunts, and pulls the lever for the exit. The hiker skitters down the ladder and disappears into the vastness of Two’s belly. He’ll probably get lost there, too. Alan will have to remind Virgil to drop him off. Somewhere. Whatever. His hands are shaking and his face feels hot and Scott’s looking at him all oh no what’s the matter like he doesn’t know. Like he’s forgotten.

“Alan, I really – I don’t understand what you’re so upset about?”

“You think it’s a compliment? So – so what? I’m the youngest, I’m the baby so fuck the rest of you right?”

“Alan!”

“Oh my – I’ve got ears, you know! Ears and – and feelings and I don’t think I ought to be all touched that you apparently think the best thing for me is to leave me on my own.”

“That isn’t what I meant –”

“No.” He spins round, face hot and fists tight. “No, but it’s what you did. What you do. And you – one day you might actually – and I have to live with that? No.” He shakes his head, wills the furious burn to stay behind his eyelids. He won’t cry. He won’t. “Never. Don’t you dare.”

Scott blinks at him.

“Sorry,” he says, and it’s all cool and calm and ugh. “But if it comes down to you or me –”

“What about me or Virgil? Or John, or Gordon? Huh?” Alan takes two steps forward and jabs his finger into Scott’s chest. Scott stares down at it, nonplussed. “What, do you rank us?”

“No! No of course not!”

“So what is it then, huh? Cause I dunno if you’ve noticed but by the rules of the universe you can only die for one of us. Once.” And dammit, dammit his breath is coming in stutters and his eyes are leaking and – “I lost dad, I don’t remember mom, I don’t – I can’t –”

And Scott wraps his arms around him and squeezes, tight.

“I’m sorry I frightened you, kid.”

Alan groans into Scott’s dusty flight suit. “I wasn’t scared. And I’m not a kid.”

“Uh huh.”

The steady rise and fall of his brother’s chest helps him to regulate his own breathing, the thud of Scott’s heartbeat a steadying force as he risks looking up.

He doesn’t have to look up quite as far as he used to. Not quite.

“Doesn’t matter anyway,” he says. “You won’t be able to try it again.”

Scott’s eyebrows tick up.

“No? You gonna stay home next time?”

“Not likely,” he sniffs. “John’s gonna kill you, you know.”

“With you around to rescue me?” And Scott’s smiling, hand in Alan’s hair, and he lets himself smile back because – because this is what matters, isn’t it. This is what isn’t, won’t, can’t ever be expendable. “I’ll take my chances.”

#thunderbirds are go #Thunderbirds #scott tracy #alan tracy #bad things happen bingo #clare vs writers block

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cv-nobody-and-associates · 3 years

Text

Foggyvent Epilogue, and a new beginning

Nobody Wants To Know

Part I – Prologue

The Hub was an interesting place. A meeting place among the infinite dimensions across the multiverse, it was a large and vaguely dome-shaped space with a pale silver colour in the sky and a metallic texture to its walls and floor. It was filled with tables and chairs of various sizes and shapes to accommodate all of the physical impossibilities that would find themselves sitting there, and it was at one such table that Nobody found herself in conversation with her succubus companion, Zila.

The two had loved one another from their first meeting, and as such when Nobody needed comfort and answers after her experience with the fog, there was only one person she sought out. Launch was a close second, but her second partner was rather difficult to track down on most occasions, and was usually not interested in getting involved in serious matters such as this, preferring to take a more background role.

“…And then the vision passed.” Nobody finished her recounting of exactly what she had seen in the fog – the two figures that taunted her and the vision of those she cared about most laying dead at her feet. “I still don’t know what it truly meant, but ever since I’ve been feeling…different than I used to. I don’t think that I only saw my fears.”

“You think it was some kind of vision?” Zila said, in that youthful silken voice of hers. In more pleasant circumstances, Nobody could lose herself in that wondrous sound, but at the moment she had more pressing concerns. Still, even watching Zila’s beautiful skin and golden blond hair, gazing into her piercing yellow eyes as she spoke, brought Nobody comfort.

“Sort of.” Nobody answered. “Not a vision of the future, but perhaps it was showing me some truth within myself. Something I have been incapable of remembering for whatever reason. Perhaps a good reason.” Zila seemed to frown at that, and Nobody almost felt dumb for even suggesting the idea. At times, Zila’s charisma was infectious even without her willing it. One of many features that came from being a Succubus. Two drinks arrived at their table, which Zila took, passing one to Nobody, who nodded her thanks.

“What kinda ‘good reason’,” Zila said, emphasising the air-quotes. “Would there be for not knowing who you are?” She asked. Nobody shrugged in response, uncertain of how to answer the question herself.

“I can only conclude it’s something my employer would want.” She replied. “Kuryo has informed me that my existence has certain terms, namely serving him on my missions. This could be another?” Nobody shook her head. “I’m really not sure, and it’s something I intend to look into. But it’s not the only reason I came here.”

“Oh?” Zila said, placing her head forward and resting it on one slender yet well-toned blue arm. She grinned for a moment, showing pale white fanged teeth for just a moment. Behind her question-marked face, Nobody smiled warmly, and placed her hand on Zila’s free one.

“I also came to see you.” She said happily. Zila’s face blushed a warm red colour, something that Nobody found adorably amusing. “After seeing the other vision, seeing you lifeless… I had to. I’m sure my friends would consider it selfish, but I won’t apologise for my devotion to you surpassing any other factors.”

“You mean everything to me, Zila.”

“Y-you’re just trying to make me blush!” Zila playfully protested, quickly putting her hands to her face and shaking side to side, a sight that made Nobody laugh, with a genuineness she hadn’t felt in quite some time. Zila took a moment to calm herself before speaking again.

“What about your other partner? Lift-off or Rise or something like that?” She asked, and Nobody sighed.

“Launch.” She corrected. “I love them too. Of course I do, and there’s next to nothing I wouldn’t do for them. We’ve discussed this before, and nothing has changed.”

“Nothing?” Zila asked. “Wait, does that mean that they still don’t know about… you know, about us?”

“Whether or not they’re aware, I cannot say.” Nobody said, leaning back in her seat and sipping her drink, an odd substance that tasted vaguely like orange juice despite looking like clear water. “But I have yet to have the opportunity to tell them. I intended to, but then they died.”

“Excuse me?!”

“Don’t panic, it wasn’t permanent.” Nobody chuckled, and Zila sighed in relief. “I don’t fully understand the details, but they have a system in place that makes them essentially immortal. They respawned, and sent me their location. Alas, I was unable to find them before getting side-tracked by work. We next saw each other at the New Year’s party on Creatorverse, Internia. And only briefly before disaster struck.”

“What kind of disaster?” Zila asked. She was always curious about Creatorverse, a world that she herself had yet to visit. “Was it those Blockhead things you told me about?” Nobody shook her head.

“No, I’m told it was Mori.” Zila nodded, vaguely recalling what Nobody had said about the mysterious Mori.

“That’s the destroyer god, right?” She asked. Nobody thought for a moment, then shrugged.

“Something like that, I think. I forget the full story, and no one ever seems to agree on the details.” She answered. “All I know is that Mori used to live in Creatorverse, but was exiled for some reason, and now they want to destroy us all for revenge?” Zila raised an eyebrow.

“That sounds kinda fishy.”

“I agree.” Nobody nodded. “But it’s not really my business to examine it further. I’ve got nothing against Mori, nor any of their companions. I’ll only intervene if absolutely necessary. Not my fight.”

“So, they sabotaged the party?” Nobody nodded at Zila’s deduction.

“Indeed. They were also responsible for releasing the fog. I think they were trying to get some kind of paperwork using it, but I don’t believe I caught the full message before I left. I didn’t see Launch at all after New Year’s. I hope they avoided the fog.”

“I hope they’re okay too.” Zila said comfortingly. “Based on what you’ve told me, they sound pretty cool.” She smiled at Nobody.

“If they only seem ‘pretty cool’, I must have undersold them.” Nobody joked, and the two laughed pleasantly for a few moments.

“Hopefully I’ll get to meet them someday.” Zila said. Nobody nodded, raising her glass.

“With any luck. It would be great for all three of us to hang out sometime.” The two lovers clinked their glasses together happily and drank for a moment. There was a pause before Zila spoke again, this time nervously.

“If…” She hesitated, and Nobody leaned forward, listening intently. “If you had to choose. If you had to choose between me or them-”

“I’d choose you.” Nobody cut her off. “I love Launch, I care for them a lot, but you’re always my number one priority.”

“Thank you.” Zila said after a moment, shining clear watery tears.

“No need to thank me for honesty.” Nobody replied. “But enough about me. How have you been? Hopefully you’ve been doing better than my vision suggested.” She joked, which caused Zila to chuckle before groaning into her hands at the thought of how things had been going for her.

“Ugh. Let’s just say I’m glad you’re here. Things haven’t been going well since our last meeting.” Nobody took a long sip of her drink.

“Oh, trouble at work?” Nobody asked, setting Zila off.

“You have no idea!” She cried, throwing her arms up in frustration for a moment. “All I’m trying to do is seduce people and take their souls, but everyone keeps trying to get feelings involved! It’s so uncomfortable. I’m just there to fuck, not for love.”

“That’s not how I remember our times in bed.” Nobody said light-heartedly. “I seem to recall us being very passionate indeed, in more ways than just physical.” Zila froze for a moment, going red.

“You’re the exception.” She said, seemingly both flustered and amused. “No one else is like you, ya know.”

“I believe I do.” Nobody nodded. Her thoughts wandered back to her vision in the fog for another moment. “Although I find myself wondering as to what I am like now. There’s still so much I don’t know…” She trailed off, something Zila noticed.

“It’s the vision, isn’t it?” She asked, to which Nobody nodded. “If it’s bugging you so much, you gotta go look into it.” Nobody looked up for a moment.

“I…” She stumbled over her words. “I have some ideas. Nothing concrete, but there are a few places that might hold some answers for me.” She thought for a moment.

“The other Nobodies.”

“Pardon?”

“When I enter another world, there is only one me.” Nobody began to explain frantically. “I just change to fit that world and its rules. But there are three exceptions I know of. One I made, one I chose, and one took the name herself. Three other Nobodies. And if I am included, there are three people within me. It’s not a coincidence, I just don’t know how it connects.” Zila smiled happily. Hearing Nobody ramble so passionately always brought her joy.

And if she was being honest, she had certain ideas for what to do with three Nobody’s…

“Well, what are you waiting for? Go check them out!” Zila encouraged. Nobody smiled beneath her question-marked face and burst forth from her seat, before remembering a crucial detail she had forgotten.

“WAIT, CV!” She yelled in a panic. “I was meant to get some things! Vanilla extract and a big magic supply! And I was meant to help those outside in the fog!”

“Wait, the fog was still happening when you got here?!” Zila shrieked in surprise. “I thought it was done!”

“I’M SORRY, I HAD TO SEE YOU!” Nobody said in response. Zila stood for a moment, briefly going red before sighing.

“Hun, I love you, but sometimes you can be a real dumbass.” Nobody nodded at Zila’s wisdom, chuckling a little. “Give me a sec, I’ll help.” Nobody gave Zila a quick hug in response to her words.

“Thanks Zila, you’re a life saver!” Zila rolled her eyes but gave Nobody a loving smile as she gently left her arms, and opened up a flaming portal. One of the perks of being a succubus was the ability to essentially travel anywhere, and in style to boot.

“I’ll be right back. Don’t go anywhere.” Zila said, before blowing a kiss at Nobody, which the question mark girl happily caught. She then vanished through the portal.

As she waited for Zila’s return, Nobody took the time to write a small note to apologise for her absence.

Dear Shandy, or whoever else finds this note,

I apologise for failing in my duties during the Fog Outbreak. I had much to do, and some crucial personal business that I am afraid takes priority over anything and anyone within the city. Said personal business is also why I will not be returning in person.

The Fog may have shown others their fears, but to me it showed a vision. It allowed for some part of me long forgotten to connect to the rest, and I now need to find answers. I understand if you will not forgive me, but I shall not apologise.

However, thanks to a special someone, I have some gifts I had promised, that I hope shall make up for my extended absence.

Take care, and don’t die,

Nobody In Particular

Zila returned as soon as she had finished writing the letter, holding a rather nice-looking woven basket.

“Alright, I got you a bunch of Vanilla extract, a duplication ring they can use to get more, and…” She took out a large black sphere that seemed to hold within it a burning white-hot flame. “One Hell Pandora. It’s a magic sphere that holds some of the most potent powers and souls from hell, like a pocket dimension. Don’t worry about using souls, they were in Hell for a reason.”

Nobody nodded, taking the basket and briefly opening a portal of her own. She placed it carefully at the door of the council building, never fully stepping through. Once she was sure it had been safely placed down, she came back to The Hub.

She then wrapped Zila in a tender embrace, and after a moment the gesture was returned.

“I may not know the full story of who I am,” She began, before moving to look Zila right in the eyes, holding her by the shoulders. “But I know that I love you, and I always will.” After a moment’s hesitation, Nobody peeled back the question-mark face she wore, revealing her True Form and its human face beneath. Then, she gently removed that face as well, showing off the face of her Final Form.

Her right eye was finally open, a prism of strange and interdimensional energy held within it. Her natural blonde hair now stood in eerily still spikes, mixing with a misty aura around her. Her mouth was now masked with a deep purple and black misty aura, mixed with fiery fangs.

This was Nobody in her purest state, something that only Zila had ever seen. And whilst most avoided it as much as possible due to its fearful effects, Zila only ever admired it as she did all aspects of her lover.

Gently, Nobody kissed Zila, letting their mouths come to a pleasant embrace. It was all too brief for the both of them, but at the same time it was also a moment that neither would ever forget.

“No matter who you become, I’ll always love you.” Zila said, gently caressing Nobody’s face as it morphed back to its default question-mark state.

“Now go.” She spoke. “I’ll be waiting for when you return.”

And with those final words, Nobody departed, beginning her search for answers.

[END]

AN: Thanks for reading this! This started as just an epilogue for the Creatorverse Foggyvent, but I’ve been working on some of Nobody’s backstory and lore, so the idea to expand this struck me as an excellent way to explore it! The three other Nobody’s mentioned are all characters that I created, and the only AU Nobody’s to not just be the canon one shifting based on the world she’s in.

I should probably give some context for that. The short version is that Nobody is an extra-dimensional being. Specifically, she is a Fusion, which in this case means she is a cross between the souls of a Creator from Internia and an entity known as a Void Demon, an energy being that lives in the Void, a space between realities. Both of these are separate from Nobody, who is a third being created from combining the previous two. More info will be revealed as the story progresses.

As for Zila, she’s another sona of mine! I made her to be a somewhat less complex character than Nobody, who has a lot more complex lore behind her. So Zila’s whole deal is that she’s a Succubus from a realm known as Hell, and she travels across realms to…well, do what Succubi do. I’d be happy to talk more about her if asked.

Worth noting, Nobody is indeed canonically cheating on Zila with Launch, even though Zila is aware and fine with it. It’s not a poly without everyone knowing what’s going on and giving consent, and since Nobody has yet to tell Launch about Zila, it’s cheating. Out of character, Zila is just another representation of me just like Nobody. They’re both parts of me. So, unless dating literally myself counts, no IRL relationships are affected whatsoever.

There’s more I could ramble on about, but I don’t want to drag this AN out for too long, so I’ll leave you here. I hope you enjoyed this!

#creatorverse #my post #Nobody Lore #Nobody Wants To Know #Foggyvent #epilogue #Also a prologue

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offtopicoverload · 3 years

Note

Howdy there!! Who are the li’s you fancy the most from LITG??

hi! thanks for the ask!

i honestly dunno who’s my top answer, cuz they’re all interesting in their own way

I’m only going to talk about female LIs cuz the only male routes I’ve finished are Bobby and Jake, and I tapped through most of Jake and only ended with Bobby on my first run cuz I never unlocked Marisol, so I’m not the best source lol

Talia:

She’s just so chill but has no problem standing up for MC, she has her back no matter what

Which, like, what a queen

She’s the original and only one of 4 LIs, which maybe it’s just me, but for a game based on an incredibly heteronormative reality show, allowing representation for queer audiences from launch is such a big deal and so cool to me, so Talia’s kind of special in my mind

She was also my first LI so nostalgia points

And she’s such an easy LI, not much drama on her route outside of Lucy, just her having MC’s back as the boys make themselves look like idiots

And she has so much potential, like I know some people think her only personality trait is fancying MC, which I mean, is a little fair, but there’s so many opportunities for her in fics and headcanons to develop the good amount of information we got on her in 13 days

I absolutely love how self-aware and confident she is

She just went for what she wanted, struggled a bit with commitment at first, because who wouldn’t, but after that it was smooth sailing

Like obviously what she said in the Beach Hut at the beginning of the season wasn’t great for MC, but she knew exactly what she wanted out of her time on the show

She was confident in herself and her sexuality so much so that she was just down to have a fling with a girl and not worry about how it would effect the show

And then she *coupled up* with that same girl, not even giving a shit about the rules or anything

A queen

Allegra:

I know she’s not an official LI, but her arc is what got me into writing so she gets a million points for that

I love what could have been done with her progression if she was given an actual route, I’m a sucker for some good enemies to lovers, but alas, she’s canonically a bad bitch with a lot of internalised homophobia yet enough confidence to ask MC out

I still love her

Marisol:

I know so many people hate her, and I get it, but I do really like her growth

Maybe it’s cuz I’m pretty analytical too, but her analyses never bothered me or anything, and now that I’ve played her route so many times, it’s pretty obvious that that’s a defense mechanism, and I understand that

She very much so has a “figure their weaknesses out before they have a chance to figure mine out” attitude, and I’m 99% positive it’s because of the ex that Elisa reminded her of

So not only has she been burned in the past, I’m willing to bet it was by the only woman she’s been in a serious relationship with

I really have no problem with her commitment issues, it’s understandable, and I can really empathise with her fear of coming out, it’s absolutely terrifying even if you’ve accepted it and bought a flag, saying the words can be really difficult

My biggest issue is her entitlement and immaturity, I guess?

Like her using Graham to make MC jealous just feels like an excuse to crack on with him and still have MC available for when she’s ready

I understand her being scared to couple up, but playing games to distract herself just made things with MC worse

And unless youre on her route, and sometimes even when you are, it’s clear to me that she expects things and has no problem saying what they are, but going after them is a problem?

Like her going after Lurik even though they don’t have a connection, or Gary even when he’s with Hannah

But then it never works and she gets sad and I melt because I’m weak

ALSO, can I just say how awful it is that Lucas and Henrik don’t pick her unless they have to???

Like cmon she deserves MC after that

And when they finally couple up? And she’s all soft? The GROWTH ohmygod

Anyway I love who Marisol became, maybe not everything she started out as, but definitely the person she ended the season as, more confident and self assured and willing to be vulnerable

It’s precious

Elisa:

I still haven’t done an Elisa route

I tried to a couple months ago, but dumping Marisol felt so cruel, what the hell was Fusebox thinking with that??

I do really like that they learned from their mistake though, even if they went in the opposite direction

From what I’ve seen of Elisa, she can be pretty sweet, I’ve seen her described as a Lucas-Bobby hybrid, and while that’s not the most interesting personality to me, I will say that she’s a really cool character that FB messed up on

Why did they make her a straight up villain???

And why ONLY her???

None of the other female LIs have been villains or had such a complete 180

Like her going from shouting at Chelsea, who is literally meant to be MC’s ride or die and the person outside of your LI that youre supposed to want to defend and avenge, to “i cant even sleep because im pining so hard”

I know the treatment of black women has been discussed before, specifically in regards to Hope and Erikah, and it is by no means my place to speak on it, but I definitely think something’s going on with Elisa

Anywayyyy, I love her archetype

The celebrity and influencer has so much potential, to the point that I wrote a one shot without even knowing her lmao

And she’s so confident in a way that’s so different from Marisol

She doesn’t even care if MC’s happily coupled up, she WILL get in her pants and I respect that

In conclusion, Fusebox did her dirty and I’m probably going to try and retcon some canon for her in the future

Lottie:

Ohmygod

Lottie

A goth babe

Lottie

Yeah, anyway, so I love her

Her growth is just unbeatable in my opinion

Yeah, she still has her flaws by the end of the season, but she went from ready to rip everyone’s throat out to biting her tongue around Hannah

And her and MC???

And the development between them???

Ugh

No matter what way you swing it, you’ve either got best friends to lovers or enemies to lovers and I adore both

And her aesthetic is one of my favourites, I’m alt myself and having a character like that is just so cool

My Runaways MC is a ball of sunshine with some hidden darkness specifically because Lottie’s such a dark cloud but can start shining with the right person, and that’s my absolute favourite trope

But man were the wedding episodes a cop out

Why couldn’t they give her the Noah treatment? Or the single treatment? Where they just get together after the show? Same with Hannah, why are they giving such an intense confession after who knows how long of literally nothing, like no communication even????

Don’t get me wrong, I kinda simultaneously love it for the angst and yearning, but it just… makes no sense?

So yeah, amazing bat lady that I seriously vibe with and wish my MC could have wifed up

Hannah:

I know this is a little controversial buuuut

I fucking love Hannah

But only OGHannah, Returning Hannah was butchered and I will never let that go

And it was such a toxic message too, that she needed to change herself and her appearance just to get a guy to like her?

Fuck that, Original Hannah was amazing and perfect exactly as she was

I love her trope, too, the naivety and how obvious and clear it was that she’s still learning about the world and relationships, to the point that it’s going to get her in trouble

And her obsession with fairy tales?

Fucking adorable ohmygod

I started a fic a while ago that I think I’m gonna scrap, that just indulged in the fairy tale metaphors and stuff because I just love how cute it is lmao

If she wasn’t dumped, I think she could have had amazing growth alongside Lottie, and their friendship/kinda, probably, most-definitely-if-MC’s-not-there-more-than-a-friendship growing together would have been so good

In an alternate reality Hope was dumped instead, and that helps me sleep at night

I firmly stand by the fact that Noah should have been the deciding factor between Hope and Hannah/MC, where Lottie said something that screwed with his head earlier in the day to make sure her friends were safe

Noah should have saved Hannah/MC and Hope should have returned with Rocco, hellbent on revenge and proving herself

That would have been so good for Noah stans and such good drama, that actually made perfect sense

Hope was fully expecting that she’d get picked by Noah because they’d spent three days attached at the hip and then to just… not have that happen. It would have driven her insane and if there was then a scene with MC where she just like, gives up

Like she’s spent the past two days grafting Noah but he won’t make up his mind and she’s just done and MC can comfort her or fight with her and you just get to humanize her make her vulnerable and hurting and I fucking WISH they did something like that, even for RHannah

And Hannah’s growth in the Villa would have been so amazing

I think her idea of a perfect guy is definitely too much, and I’m not advocating that she settles by any means, just that she could have learned that there are things more important than money

That conversation on day 1 where you choose between money, kindness, and intelligence still baffles me

Like why are you a gold digger Hannah?!?!

Why don’t you just want a Prince/ss Charming???

Her and Hope should have swapped and I don’t understand why they weren’t

I mean, I do really like Hope, but Hannah’s just so cute and has so much to learn and her struggling in the Villa just to have a lightbulb moment with MC would have been precious and now I want to write it dammit

Anyway, Hannah is adorable and had so much potential and she never should have returned if they were just going to scrap everything that made her Hannah, except for snooty literature

I wanna listen to her rattle on about Belle and Mulan and every other Disney Princess and what they meant for representation and progress in media and then compare them to their original stories like a dweeb and I would have melted on the spot

Like yes, please tell me more about how gruesome Cinderella is

She should have shown up at the finale and hugged MC and been innocent and sweet so I could have just lost my shit for like a half hour

But stan OGHannah, burn RHannah

AJ:

Adorable, precious, denied an arc outside of coming out

I am not exaggerating when I say that I cried at 4:30 in the morning at her blushing face when playing the first two days

It’s just so fucking cute and I’m a sap and I don’t know why it made me cry, but it did okay?!

And her coming out was such good representation!!! By far the best thing in Boat Party, and I’m so proud of the progress FB’s made in queer representation at the very least

I know she’s pretty one dimensional, but most of S3 is unfortunately

Her being available right off the bat was also such a win, I’m positive it’s the reason she had so many stans

If her and Yasmin had switched or her and Lily, they would have been the ones that were dominating Reddit polls and stuff

And I know she’s written as masc but I just can’t really see it? Like I can’t see her in a dress, but outside of a few clothing items, I guess I just can’t see it? Maybe androgynous is more the word for my image of her, like definitely a mix

She’ll wear a skirt under the right circumstances, but never a dress, a crop top with a flannel, her prom outfit that’s like a frilly jumpsuit, stuff like that? idk im not a lesbian

Her route for me was so glitchy, but I know that if MC’s stolen from her by Yasmin, Tai, or Ciaran, she has some really cute scenes and I wish I could have seen them

And I know some people were ragging on her for the eyelash at the end of the scene but I thought that was just a perfect callback - maybe it’s the writer in me

Basically, AJ’s adorable and why did Ciaran have to split her and MC up, not cool dude

Yasmin:

I forgot I was doing a Yasmin route a while ago, but from what I’ve seen and played, she’s really sweet

I hate that she’s almost nonexistent outside of her route

Give us a mysterious musician friend, you cowards!

I saw that she sings to MC on the final date and damn is that cute

Her eyeshadow kinda throws me off, but her stuffed animal makes up for it

And I’m salty that Yasmin the Lamb disappeared too, that was such a nice detail that made me start a Yasmin route

She’s distant and self-assured, but has a soft, gooey, nostalgic center and I wish we saw more of that, even if we weren’t on her route

My final thoughts on Yasmin: An artsy indie icon that I really need to stop getting distracted from and finish her route

Lily:

Again, don’t know much about her, but she seems really cool

Her shaving her head between the finale and Boat Party is such a flex and I wish she did it right before Boat Party so we could see her in all her bald glory

She’s into cars, right? And… architecture?

Idk, I barely remember my own name, let alone a 10 minute date from months ago

But I’ll definitely get around to doing her route at some point, maybe just to write for her, we’ll see

Elladine:

I know she’s not an LI, but MC so should have been able to run away with her

I missed that option in S3

I kinda get why they didn’t do that, but Boat Party’s just so messy in general

And I would include Genevieve here, but she’s so cute with Seb that I’d feel bad splitting them up

But Elladine had actual problems with Nicky!!!

Why did they mention it for it to never pay off??

And I’m so mad that the hype around her died when it was revealed she wasn’t an LI or the badass of the season, because I still adore how sweet she is

I also want to brag that before we got a name I was calling her Emma and that’s just on example of my almost psychic-ness

But yeah I wanted Ell to be a run away option and I’m salty that she wasn’t

Know what, fuck it, Viv too, she’s smart and cool as hell, let us love these awesome women FB, you cowards!!!

I have no idea who would be my number 1 based on canon, but if we’re talking hypotheticals, I think my answer, as strange as it is, is Hannah.

I just love what she could have been, but by no means what she is.

It’s so awkward to know her for three days, not see her for three weeks, then spend a couple more days with, a couple weeks at most, just for her to write a whole ass book about MC?? And tell her about it with that hair????

No thanks, I’ll stick with closeted sapphic horse girl nerd Hannah because I guess that’s somehow my type??? Oh god what the fuck I swear I’m not a total weirdo

#asks #can it kc #okay but im loving doing this they're so fun wtf #but thanks so much for the ask!!!!!#litg

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

Text

Survey #364

“you wanna know what zeus said to narcissus? / ‘you’d better watch yourself’“

Do you change your type of music regularly? Nah. I've ben all about metal and rock since middle school. Would you want to visit Tokyo, Japan, someday? It's not actually on my bucket list or anything, but I'd do it. Do you curse like a sailor? Sailors are better than I am, aha... Do you hear trains pass by where you live? No. Ever been in a race? Haha, no. Last time you’ve eaten a taco? I hate tacos. Do you like horses? Sure do! Do you like Starburst? omg YES. What is your favourite wild animal? MEERKATS!!!!!! :') Do you like hamsters? They're very cute, but I've never met a nice one. Do you eat bananas? Yeah, I like bananas, but I'm VERY picky with how ripe it is. There's like, barely a two-day span where I'm willing to eat them. What is your favourite bookstore? I don't have one. What is your favorite fast food joint? Sonic. Do you sweat easily? Ugh, you haven't the slightest idea. As a side effect of one (or two?) of my prescriptions, I have I N S A N E hyperhidrosis. I can stand outside for a millisecond in like 70 degree weather and I'm already sweating. If you could move (and SERIOUSLY think about this) where would you move? All factors considered, being entirely realistic, the mountain-y region of western NC. Why would you go there? I want to stay in NC to at least not be a massive ways away from my family, and I loooove mountains. Plus, there's a lot of cool places on the other end of the state. Do you want to travel? Yes. I want to see so much more than this boring 'ole state. What was the last vaccination you got? For Covid. Have there ever been any forest or grass fires in your area? There have been wildfires towards the beach, I believe? Any time it happened we would always get the smoke all the way where we live. Are you Italian? Not to my knowledge. Do you own an acoustic guitar? No. What is something you have given a lot of thought to lately? My physical health. When did you last swallow your beliefs to avoid an argument or confrontation? Recently. Can you roll your own cigarettes? I've never smoked, so. Are you mentally strong? I think so. I hope so. Are you physically strong? I am like, comically weak. Are you heartbroken right now? No. Do you ever get complimented on your eyes? What color are they? It's happened, but it's definitely not a regular thing or whatever. They're grayish blue. What facial feature do you like the best on a person? I'd say I'm most attracted to pretty eyes. What is the weirdest animal you’ve ever held? I helped hold a massive snake as a kid (I don't remember what it was), and I've also held a rose hair tarantula. I can't think of any truly strange animals by my opinion, really. Do you get extremely hyper when under the influence of sugar? No. Sugar seems to have zero effect on me, probably because I'm over-exposed to it thanks to soda... What about caffeine? Not at all, likely for the aforementioned reason. Have you ever tried any drugs? If so, did you regret it? Besides alcohol, no. I don't regret having drank as it was never a lot. Do you have any pregnant friends? A high school acquaintance is pregnant. I THINK she's the only one now? I swear I see a new pregnancy announcement on Facebook like every two days, and mind you I don't even have all that many "friends." That being said, I may definitely be forgetting someone. When ordering food, what do you usually get as a drink? Depending on whether they have Pepsi or Coke products, either Mountain Dew or Coke. When drawing something, do you try to be super precise or do you not care? I am so, so, SO obsessive over getting everything right, but things never come out as good as I want them to/imagine them. Have you actually read Twilight? I haven't. What about Harry Potter? Never read any of those, either. I started one in elementary school, but didn't get very far at all. Out of the two, which is better? I have like no interest in either, so. How often do you read books? It various. I go through like reading episodes, and then I don't read for months. Are you the jealous type? I'm not like, an insanely jealous person, but it's still the worst it's ever been at this point in my life. I hate it. Are you the type of person who gets jealous of people’s pasts? Nah, no reason to. Do you know anyone who faints at the sight of blood? Not blood, I think, but needles and drawing blood, yes. I know my dad's fainted at least once at the doctor, and Jason fainted when I was getting blood drawn at the ER. What colors are the eyes of your family members? Just about everyone has brown eyes but me, I think my maternal grandpa, and my brother. Are you related to anyone with red hair? Not to my knowledge. Were you a chubby baby? No, I was pretty average. What’s something that makes you incredibly nervous? Social situations with strangers especially. Asking for things. Public speaking/presenting. What’s the latest you’ve ever stayed up to finish homework/a project? God, I remember there was this one night in particular where I stayed up SO late, but I don't remember the exact time. I think I actually cried because I was so stressed and tired. How many vegetarians do you know? In my personal life, I don't believe I know any, but I could be wrong. Have you ever had problems falling asleep in class? I never did, even though I was always tired. Have you ever been on the barrier or front row at a concert? No. Favorite episode of Spongebob? The pizza one, probably. Or the Hash Slinging Slasher episode. What bug frightens you most? Wasps, probably. Are your parents supportive of you? Yes. <3 How often do you take the train to go places? I've never been on a train. Have you ever participated in a mock trial, or a real trial? No. Do you own a pocketknife, or any other kind of multi-tool? No. What was the last thing you took a video of? Hm... I honestly don't remember. What’s something that used to really stress you out, but doesn’t anymore? Thunderstorms. Have you ever had famous neighbors? No. Pick your three favourite vegetables. Broccoli, green beans, and uh... I'm blanking... Habitually I wanna say "corn," but I know it's not technically a veggie, but starch. Have you ever broken a movie or game disc? I think I have? What is your favourite type of cookie? Chocolate chip. Can you rap freestyle? Or at least sing raps from songs? Ha, no. Have you ever shared a house with a significant other? Yeah. Do you scream at scary parts in a horror flick? No. I might jump a bit, but not always. What do you spend most of your time doing? Watching YouTube. Do you really care what’s going on in celebrities' lives? More like the YouTubers I watch. Have you ever broken a plate/bowl? Accidentally by dropping them. When was the last time you felt like you didn’t have a care in the world? I couldn't begin to guess. Has anyone ever drunk called/texted you? No. Can you do a backwards london bridges? God no, I'd bust my back. What smiley do you use the most on the computer? (: maybe. Or :') Are any of your pets “overweight”? No, but why is "overweight" in quotations as if overweight pets aren't a real and serious issue? Has anyone ever bought you a ring? Yeah. On a scale 1-10, how funny are you? I honestly don't think I'm funny at all, so I'd put myself at a 1. Pretty recently though it was very surprising and flattering to have my dad and older sister point out that I'm "hilarious" with my wry sense of humor. I don't see it, but I mean, it was surely appreciated. What’s a song that is overplayed but you still like it anyway? I barely ever listen to the radio, yet I still know "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen is played a lot, but I could never get tired of it. Are you excited for Christmas? Christmastime is my favorite time of year nowadays, mainly because of how excited my niece and nephew always are, and we spend most of Christmas Day and usually Christmas Eve with them. I love the weather, the focus on togetherness, all that. What are you thankful for? Man, a lot. I try my best to never overlook all the truly amazing things I do have, like a loving and supportive family, a home, food and safe water, Internet haha, access to medical care (regardless of the complaints I have about American healthcare)... I've got a lot of bad going on in my life, but I've also got a great amount of good things, too. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up on? Internet. What’s your favorite color combination? Maaan, don't do this. I really don't know. Probably two pastels, idk. Do you have any internet friends? I have more Internet friends than I do "real life" ones. What was the last song you listened to? "Deep Six" by Marilyn Manson earlier. How are you feeling right now? My arm is really sore from my second Covid shot, and I'm also having trouble breathing thanks to the dog (apparently, I'm allergic to whatever she is). I know it sounds bad, but I cannot wait 'til she's gone (from this house, no we're of course not euthanizing her). What color is the shirt you’re wearing? Burgundy. Do you play video games? Yeah, just not as much as I used to. Have you ever been to a club and had someone slip something into your drink? I've never been to a club period, and I don't plan on it. Do you know anyone who’s done ecstasy? Not to my knowledge, anyway. Are you on birth control? Yes, but only to regulate and soothe my menstrual cycle. My cramps were insufferable prior. Does your sibling have a significant other? All but my younger sister. Like she's in contact with who she calls "contenders," haha, but she isn't officially dating anyone. She's MEGA picky with who she dates. Have you ever cried at a real wedding? Yes, because it was very triggering to my PTSD. Any idea what you want for your next birthday? That's quiiite a whiles away, so I have plenty of time to think about that. I don't know if I'll be employed by then and thus able to buy some things myself, but I'll just say I won't be (because I'm I think rationally fearful that's where I'll still be). For Christmas I plan on just asking for a new terrarium for Venus plus better materials for it (like a proper temp gauge and hygrometer, etc.), and with that taken care of, then I might be interested in asking for a hognose for my bday, but idk. I'd want to ensure (s)he starts out with a perfect terrarium, and seeing as I want a hoggie morph, that's a lot of money in one go that idk if I'd be comfortable asking. So I'unno, maybe I'll go for a tattoo again. Wow, this was a lot of rambling for something so far off, pardon me haha. Are there any gadgets of yours that need charging right now? My Nintendo DS Lite, actually. I can't find the darn charger for it, and I really need to so I can bring it to Ashley's again for the kids to play the Pokemon game I have that they love. Aubree especially is really into it, and she adores Pikachu and Eevee. :') Which awards show would you wanna go to the most (e.g Oscars, Grammys etc.)? I don't even know what most award shows are for, if I'm being honest. I'm not really interested. What colour is your keyboard? Black, but each key glows red. Have you ever been called a skank/slut because of the way you dress? No. Are you a fan of acrylic nails? Not for myself; I think they'd drive me insane. I do, however, think they look nice on others.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''deep six'' by marilyn manson

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kareofbears · 4 years

Text

day 30: dusk

Hawaii is hot, beautiful, crowded, and decidedly not downtown Tokyo.

---

(Or, the Hawaii school trip rewritten.)

He's about to leave his hotel room when his phone starts ringing. Akira sighs, and swipes up.

"I said to call when you get there."

"Hello to you too, Futaba," Akira greets the pouting girl on the screen. "Sorry, things got busy."

"For five days!? Do you hate me?"

"I could never!" He exclaims, mock offended. "I just wanted to get you the perfect souvenir, unless you don't want the super cool Featherman stickers I saw in a gift shop—"

She gasps, pushing her face right up against the camera, screen blurring as she shakes her phone around. "You’re lying, Kurusu! There's no way you found the limited edition American Featherman laptop stickers there!"

"Mm, I'd be willing to cough it up, but only if an annoying brat is willing to forgive me."

"I forgive you, I forgive you!" She shrieks, eyes glimmering with excitement in a near dangerous way. "Okay, go have fun! Buy more of the stickers, too! I could sell them for big bucks in Japan."

"We are not ruining the merch economy, Futaba."

"You're no fun."

"I'm going now. Be good, you monster."

"Over my dead body would I ever do something good."

----

"That looks fun."

Makoto looks up from her place in the sand, a bucket in her hand. "It is. Would you like to join me?"

Akira nods, and sits beside her. He peers at her mediocre pile. There’s no design or meaning to it—It’s truly just a small mound of sand. "Is that supposed to be a sand castle?"

"Yes," she sighs. "I'm glad you can tell, at least. I've been trying to train myself to accept not being good at some things right away, so I decided to try and create a sandcastle; a task I've never practiced before."

"You never take a break, do you?"

"Well, I wouldn't exactly call this working," Makoto replies, filling her bucket with white sand. "Though how people create such tall sand castles are beyond me. How do they do it without some adhesive of some kind?" She then dumps the entire bucket onto her pile, grains sliding down as gravity takes hold. It settles back to its original, lackluster heap of sand. "Quite the predicament."

Akira stares at her. "Is that how you've been doing it this whole time?"

"Yes. Is something wrong?" She fills up another bucket of sand.

"Well—" Dump. "That's not...really how you do it."

She frowns. "I wish you'd told me that sooner, I've been working on this for fifteen minutes, and it would be a waste of time to—" Suddenly, a screaming child runs through her pile, flinging sand into both of their eyes.

After a solid minute of coughing and aggressive rubbing, Makoto turns to Akira. "A lesson would be excellent, thank you."

----

“Ooo, look at this one!” Ann exclaims, peering closely at massive, floral-themed sunglasses.

The two of them are strolling through the shopping district of their resort, pointing at random knick-knacks and giving their hot takes on them. To everyone’s surprise, Ann and Yusuke make excellent shopping partners; Yusuke is really the only one who can keep up with Ann’s insatiable need to shop, and he never butters up his response. In return, Ann listens closely to whatever advice he can give about aesthetics and color coding outfits.

“Tacky, but definitely in with the spirit of our island here,” he nods. “I think you should buy it. It will definitely bring some color into the dreariness of Tokyo.”

“You think?” Ann wears them, and looks in a mirror. “Not too much?”

“No, especially if you pair them with the blouse you bought in Shibuya.”

“The white one? Really?”

“Absolutely.”

“Alright,” Ann nods. “I trust you! But if Ryuji laughs at me, I will be throwing these at his head.”

“What on earth does he know about the art of aesthetics and fashion? Certainly not close to the knowledge that you and I possess, surely?”

Ann grins. “This is why you rock, Yusuke.”

“Thank you.”

They pay for her shades before continuing their stroll through the pavilion.

“Thanks for helping me out!” Ann says, basking in the sun. “Ever since Shiho moved, I don’t really feel like I have a friend who I can shop with. I mean, there’s Haru, or Makoto, or even Akira, but I feel like I bore them after a while.”

“My pleasure,” Yusuke replies, every step he takes deliberately putting himself underneath the shade. “I can see no better use of my schedule than practicing the art of color-coding in real time rather than in front of a canvas.”

She hums. “Are you gonna buy anything?”

“Oh, lord no,” he scoffs. “To spend my money on something such as souvenirs when I can hardly imagine paying for my next meal is laughable. No, I’m perfectly content with simply aiding you on your journey.”

Ann blinks at him, before gasping loudly. “I know, I know!” She whirls in front of Yusuke, clapping her hands together. “To thank you for always being with me on my shopping trips, how about I, Takamaki Ann, will buy you one thing in this entire shopping district, free of charge!”

Yusuke frowns. “I can’t possibly do that to you.”

“Sure you can! Think of it as a thank you for being my shopping best friend!” She grips his forearm tightly, eyes twinkling. “Come on, it’ll be fun! Please!”

Yusuke shifts in place, torn. “Only if you’re certain—”

“Heck yeah, I am! Let’s go!”

“How about a nice shirt?”

Yusuke tilts his head, holding an armful of fake coconuts. “I have a shirt back at home.”

“Yeah, but…okay, nevermind.” Ann sighs. Shopping for Yusuke is turning out to be a headache. Every time she offers something, he always seems to find a reason not to get it.

“Oo, how about a hat?” She says, showing him a very cheesy red hat with the word ‘Aloha’ written on the top.

“I’m not a fan of hats. To restrict the brain would be to restrict the mind.”

Ann holds back a groan. She wishes Akira were here—his mental alignment with Yusuke is miles better than hers. “Sorry, Yusuke, I’m out of ideas.”

“That’s quite alright,” Yusuke smiles. “I do have to thank you for the offer--” He stops, eyes zoning in on something behind her. “My goodness,” he whispers, before running.

“Wh-what? Wait up!”

Yusuke lifts a massive tiki head, mouth agape. “It’s brilliant…” he mutters, gently brushing the wood with his thumb. “Look at the intricate carving, the colors, the size!” He gasps, before turning to her desperately, still clutching his artifact. “Ann. I need it.”

Ann opens her mouth, before closing it, teeth clacking together. It’s better not to question Yusuke, and she has to wonder why she even tried to offer something normal to him when, in reality, he’s anything but. “Sure thing.”

They walk out of the store five minutes later, Ann’s shades still perched on top of her head and Yusuke happily carrying a 3 foot tiki head.

----

Akira's sitting underneath the shade of an umbrella when Haru decides to visit.

"Hello, there."

He looks up, sunglasses darkening the figure in front of him. She’s wearing her bright teal swimsuit with a large, white sun hat on her head. "Wanna join?" he asks, patting the sand beside him.

"I'd love to," she replies, settling down beside him. "What are you doing?"

"Making sure Ryuji doesn't drown." At her inquisitive look, he continues, "He's been trying to surf for the past twenty minutes."

"Ah, I see. Are you not interested in joining?"

"Not a fan of getting in water if I can help it. You?"

"I prefer to enjoy the sun with some reading," she gestures to the book in her hands: Flowerpedia.

"I'm surprised you haven't read that one before."

"I have!" She smiles, and he mimics her in return. It's nice to see Haru happy despite all odds. "But I like to reread it when I can't actually garden. It still lets me feel as though I'm on the school rooftop this way."

"I'll let you get to it then."

Akira enjoys the sun as Haru flicks open her book. With the waves crashing, the winds blowing, and people around them laughing amongst themselves, it makes for a calming atmosphere.

After a few minutes, Haru looks up from her book. "Oh, would you look at that,” They both watch as Ryuji finally stands on his surfboard, knees shaking. His brow is furrowed in intense concentration, even more so than in group study sessions (which, in reality, doesn’t mean much). "He's doing quite well."

Akira raises his hands and cups it over his mouth. His voice turns high pitched, "Looking cool, Sakamoto-senpai!"

Ryuji looks up, eagerly looking to see which cute kouhai is calling his name before slipping off the board, submerging in water completely as his surfboard continues to ride the current without him.

Haru purses her lips, trying not to laugh. "Too cruel, Akira-kun."

"I think of it as ‘just right.’"

----

“Yo, Haru! Ann!”

The girls turn around to see Ryuji enthusiastically running towards them, a hand behind his back.

“Hello Ryuji-kun,” Haru smiles. “You seem happy.”

“You bet I am! Because, I, Sakamoto Ryuji,” he rips his hand up, showcasing a neon green frisbee. “Bought a motherfuckin’ frisbee! Oops, sorry Haru.”

“I told you, I don’t mind if you swear.”

“A frisbee?” Ann asks, skeptical. “You’re that excited over a piece of plastic?"

“Hey! Have you ever played frisbee on a beach? It’s fu-frick, ugh, whatever, it’s amazing! It tires you out like crazy and it’s super fun. Plus, there ain’t much places to throw a frisbee around in Tokyo, unless you wanna get hit by a car or something.” He grins widely, jumping in place. “So? How about it? Wanna play a few rounds?”

“Ugh, pass. Sounds lame."

“What?! I spent a crazy amount of money on this thing—screw gift shops by the way, they're monsters—and you’re gonna call it lame?”

“Don’t worry Ryuji-kun!” Haru says kindly. “I’d love to play frisbee with you”

“Aw, you’re a lifesaver!” Ryuji whoops. “Unlike this killjoy over here.”

Ann rolls her eyes. “Whatever. I’m meeting with Akira. Later, Haru.”

Ryuji and Haru separate a good few meters apart and begin to lightly throw the frisbee from each other.

“Would you like to have more distance between us?” Haru calls after a few minutes of tossing. “I’d hate to feel like I’m boring you.”

“Only if you want! Don’t wanna make you sweat or nothin’.”

“I want to!” Haru says, determined. “To learn a skill like proper throwing and the technicalities of a perfect aim is helpful in our endeavor!”

“Hell yeah, that’s the badass Haru I know! Okay, let’s get some distance in here.”

The two of them separate even further, to the point where they have to scream in order to have a conversation.

“Is this good?!” Haru yells, holding the frisbee in her hand.

“Totally!” Ryuji shouts back. “Throw it!”

Haru takes a deep breath, and throws the frisbee with all her might. Perhaps it was her passion for learning new things, or maybe it was simply because she really, really wanted it to reach Ryuji in a beautiful arc where it would land directly in his waiting hands—instead, the neon green frisbee that was lovingly bought with Ryuji's pocket money is flung, gliding into the ocean. They watch in silence as it floats, far and away, until it’s out of sight.

Ryuji does his best to go through the five stages of grief in as little time as possible.

Haru sprints towards him, apologies already bubbling from her lips, promising to buy him ten frisbees and ‘I'm so sorry I don't know what happened Ryuji-kun, come on let's go back to the gift shop.’ In the end, Ryuji successfully turns down her offer, opting instead that they split a banana split back in the hotel.

"I don't know what happened," Haru sighs, shoving strawberry ice cream in her mouth. "I must have thrown it much too hard, I'm—"

"If you say sorry again, I'm making you eat the banana."

She frowns. "Do you not like the banana part of a banana split?"

"Of course not, do I look like someone who likes fruits? Anyway, point is, stop apologizin'! No harm, no foul."

"You looked devastated, Ryuji-kun."

He waves it off. "That's fine. What do they say in English? C'est la vie?"

"I'm... pretty sure that's not English. But please, one last time, allow to me apologize—"

"What, for being too strong?" He asks, eyebrow quirking up. "Look, I know you're my senpai and all, but lemme say this." Ryuji scoops a spoonful of chocolate in his mouth before continuing. "Never apologize for being too strong, especially in a shi-crappy world like this, okay? Lotsa people wish they have what you have, and people who are strong seem to be doin' awesome! I mean, look at Ann—she can probably kick my ass!"

"But she wouldn't."

"She wouldn't," he shrugs. "Doesn't mean that she can't, though. Anyway, for the last time," he points his spoon at her seriously, dripping with melting ice cream. "It's chill. You’re strong and that's awesome. Probably from all the dirt you carry, or weeds you pull out, or something."

Haru giggles. "Thank you, Ryuji-kun."

"No prob! Hey, let's see if we can get away with fillin’ up an entire bowl with caramel sauce!"

"I don't think that's the best idea."

----

"Akiraaaaa~"

"Yes, Ann?"

She grins, donned in her bikini and proudly shoving her phone in his face. Her beach bag hangs off of her shoulders. "Photoshoot?"

He pretends to think about it. "Only if I get compensated."

"You'll get compensated through a movie when we get back?"

"Deal."

Ann chooses a nice, empty spot on the beach; a seemingly impossible task given that Hawaii is a magnet for tourists. "This place is perfect!"

"It is," he agrees. "Any particular angles you're feeling right now?"

"You know my good ones," Ann says, throwing her bag down. She'd dragged him to enough of her photoshoots that he can practically mimic them, in order, alongside her.

Akira nods, and they get to work. She gives him a variety of poses—playful, confident, flirty, and he tries his best to channel his inner Ohya and get the best shots possible (at least, enough for ‘the ‘Gram,’ as she would affectionately call it). At one point, Akira has his stomach against the sand to capture her angles, to the amusement of the people watching.

"Ooo, what a cameraman!" Ann calls, one leg in the air, mid-pose.

"Only the best for the next Vogue superstar."

She laughs, but abruptly stops when a rough, deep, unknown voice yells at them.

"Show us more, sweetheart!"

Ann makes eye contact with a massive bodybuilder, eyeing her. She giggles. "Only if you come here!"

Akira clenches his jaw as the man saunters over to her, clearly thrilled to have Ann's attention. "What's your name, honey?"

Ann smiles, leaning over, having the man salivating behind her. Then, she picks up her bag and slams it across the guy's jaw. "My name is eat shit, asshole!"

He stumbles back, shocked and clutching his jaw. "You're fucking crazy!" He spits out, backing away from her, before stomping in another direction.

Akira sits up, smiling, and puts his hand up to her. "Good one."

"Thanks!" She enthusiastically high-fives him. "Was it too much?"

"The ‘eat shit’ thing? No, it's pretty classy."

"Right? It really gets the message across!"

"You want more pictures?"

After a second, she answers, "Nah, I’m good. I am down for a selfie though."

He smiles, and they both throw bunny ears around each other, both grinning at the camera.

----

"You okay there?"

Yusuke groans, eyes closed, leaning his head back on the sofa. His hand absent-mindedly rubs his bloated stomach. The two of them are sitting alone in the hotel buffet lounge on a table that's too big for them. Everyone else had left already, too impatient to wait for Yusuke to finish. "I feel that death is approaching."

Akira grimaces in sympathy. "Was it before or after the third plate of fried squid?"

"Before." He sighs. "I am not accustomed to so much food being available to me that I may have been a tad too eager."

"I can see that," Akira pushes his glass of water towards his mildly green-looking friend. "Drink that when you can."

"Thank you, but if I attempt to put anything in my mouth right now..." he shivers. "I cannot imagine it."

"Wanna try walking it off?"

Yusuke considers it. "Yes, that would suffice."

Akira helps Yusuke up, not unlike helping an aging Saint Bernard stand, and together they make their way to the beach.

He breathes in deeply, smiling ever so slightly. "As always, a great decision, leader. I feel my insides cleansing with the salt of the ocean."

"Do you like the ocean?"

"Yes. In truth, this is only my second time going; the first being when we went in the summer," he hesitates, before admitting, "Sensei didn't like to take us places as it could have been a distraction from making art."

"That's weird," Akira says. "Since places and experiences can help you make art, can't it?"

"My thoughts exactly. Sensei seemed to have forgotten how art is truly created, instead remembering how art can be acquired," he looks to the ocean, eyes distant. "A shame, since the ocean truly is something remarkable that cannot be captured without seeing it in real life."

He takes in Yusuke's expression, the way he stares longingly at the sea, and asks, "Do you want to make art now?"

"I'd love to, but my canvases were taken away during customs," he grimaces. "A shame, since I had brought five as well. What a waste of good supplies."

Akira tugs on his fringe. "You know, sand is almost like a textured canvas, isn't it?" He traces a smiley face on the sand with his heel. "Check it out."

Yusuke blinks. "Yes, but then I won't be able to take it back with me. It would eventually be washed away, or stepped on, or—"

"Yeah but you're not doing this to put it in a gallery, aren't you?" Akira asks, smiling at Yusuke. "This is just so you have a way to make art and enjoy it."

His eyes widen, before Yusuke chuckles quietly. "You truly have an interesting mind, leader."

"You and me both."

"Alright!" Yusuke starts, clapping his hands together. "Allow me to make art, not for a museum, nor for any of these pedestrians, but for myself."

Akira watches Yusuke make intricate patterns on the white sand for forty minutes; true to his word, he was constantly interrupted by kids sprinting across his make-shift canvas, waves washing it away, and at one point someone had dropped their entire surfboard right in the middle of it all.

Yusuke steps back, and admires his work. It’s barely comprehensible—just a lot of swirls and lines, but he's smiling wider than Akira’s ever seen.

"What do you think?"

"Does it matter what I think?" Akira shrugs. "I thought you never liked making art for others' opinion."

"I'd be willing to say you're the exception."

He grins, and claps his hand on Yusuke’s shoulder. "If that's the case, then I'd say it's perfect."

----

"Three-on-three, girls against boys."

Haru puts her hand up politely. "Pardon the accusation Mako-chan, but it seems that the teams may be unfair to us girls. After all, the tallest of us is Ann, who's only 5'6."

"Nah," Ryuji shakes his head, pointing an accusatory finger at Makoto. "You weren't there when we went to the beach before. She spikes down on us, no problem. Fuckin' hurts to try and block her, too. If anything, girls’ll have the advantage here.”

"But don’t worry about them, either," Ann pipes up. "They'll have Akira on the team. He makes a great setter."

"Not to mention that Yusuke is literally 5'11," Akira points out, hand raised to block out the intense Hawaiian sun.

Ryuji looks at Yusuke, as if only now seeing his height. "Huh. Damn, you're tall, huh? Like a telephone post, or something."

"I'll take that as a compliment; without telephone posts, we cannot use telephones."

"Hell yeah, we can't!" he grins, despite Yusuke's lackluster response. "You'll earn us a ton of points dude!"

Yusuke smiles. "You can rely on me."

"Yusuke!" Ryuji wails, frustrated. "You can't just stand and put your arms up to block! You gotta jump! Like this!" He demonstrates. "You're just letting all her spikes in at this rate!"

"But," Yusuke frowns. "If I jump too much, I start to sweat."

"Then take off that goddamn hoodie!"

"Hmm, that's possible. However, too much sun isn't good for me. It makes me sweat."

Ryuji screams, and Akira pats his back.

The score is roughly 22 - 8, girls in the lead. Haru makes for a good setter with her steady hands, and Makoto has never hesitated about anything in her life, which both add up to a dangerous combo. On the other side of the net, the only reason they earned their meager set of points is from Akira's setter dumps. Anytime he tries to set to Ryuji, Ryuji gets so excited that he either misses the timing, or simply forgets to jump. Though, Ryuji is fantastic at receiving the ball, from his stamina and fast reflexes. Yusuke, however, refuses to receive any of Makoto's spikes, opting instead to tilt his body out of her line of fire.

"It's okay, Yusuke!" Haru calls encouragingly from the other side. "Volleyballs are pretty scary sometimes!"

"Thank you Haru, but I am truly unperturbed by the point gap."

"You should be!" Ryuji screeches.

"It's not just his fault, you idiot!" Ann yells back, all too happy to pick on Ryuji. "You're the one that can't run and jump at the same time!"

"Sh-shut up! You're letting Haru and Makoto do all the work!"

"That's way better than losing by fourteen points!"

“How long did it take you to do that mental math, Takamaki? Or did Makoto whisper the answer to you?”

“Which one of us got 29% on the last math practice exam, because it wasn’t me!”

"How about we grab food?" Makoto cuts in. "It's about that time, anyway."

"Food sounds good," Akira says quickly, eager to lower Ryuji’s blood pressure.

Yusuke nods, pleased. "Yes, I was just about famished, anyway."

"Akira told me you almost threw up."

"That was nearly two hours ago. Everything has been digested."

"I worry about you, Yusuke."

----

"Hey."

Akira turns around to see Ryuji kicking the ground, making tiny sand clouds with his flip flops. The sun is about to set soon, casting their chunk of Hawaiian beach in an ethereal golden glow. Thankfully, with the lack of heat, there are substantially less people wandering around, and it can almost be considered peaceful. Quiet, even.

"Hey, yourself."

Ryuji rubs the back of his neck, "I'm not really hungry yet. You?"

Akira feels himself smile. "Can't say that I am. Wanna walk?"

"Almost like you read my mind."

So they walk along the shoreline, flip flops in their hands as they talk, waves lapping at their feet as they laugh about nothing and everything, basking in the sunlight and in each other's company. Akira kicks sand at Ryuji's feet which led to him trying to push Akira into the waves, losing his balance, and falling into the ocean himself. After they both nearly cry with laughter, they both decided to take a break on a nearby bench.

"Man," Ryuji sighs, hair still wet with salt water. “Hawaii is nice as hell. Can’t find a beach like this in Japan, ya know?” Ryuji looks at the sunset in front of them wistfully. “Makes me wish my Ma could see it. She’s always wanted to visit warm places, but she’s always working, never got the time.” His eyes light up, “Maybe I could take a couple pictures! I bet she’d love that.”

“She would,” Akira agrees. In the few times he’s met Sakamoto-san, she’s a huge sentimental sweetheart who thinks the world of her son. “Want me to take some of you?”

Ryuji thinks about it. “How about let’s take one together? She’d be happy to have proof that I’m not just making shit up about having friends.”

“Sure thing.”

The two of them crowd around Ryuji’s phone, Akira smiling softly while Ryuji grins, throwing peace signs, snapping a photo, before pulling back again. “Aw, she’d love this!” He grins. “This ain’t actually half bad, either.”

“Send it to me,” Akira says, peering over his shoulder. “I’ve been needing a new background, anyway.”

Ryuji stares at Akira, ears red. “S-sure, dude.”

They watch the waves crash against the shore. "I can't believe today's our last day,” Ryuji sighs. “I feel like nothing even happened."

Akira hums, making mindless circles into the sand with the very tip of his toes. "Did you want something to happen?"

"I mean, nothing specific. All I know about Hawaii was that they had beaches and shit," he shifts slightly. "The one thing I actually wanted to happen was to hang out with you a whole bunch, and even then I feel like I didn't get that."

"Well, we're here now, aren't we?"

Ryuji looks up at Akira, and after a beat of silence, he laughs. "Yeah, I guess we are." He bumps shoulders with him, grinning. "Look at you, sayin' shit like that, thinking you're so cool."

"Oh, I am the coolest. Arguably, I'd say I'm the coolest guy around."

"Yeah, next to Mishima, maybe."

"You don't think I'm cool?"

"I didn't say that!"

"So you do think I'm cool?"

It might be the warm sun or the general heat of the island, but his face flushes a bright red. After a moment of spluttering, he mumbles, "I think you're cool as hell."

Akira blinks, completely caught off guard. He tries to say a joke, like hell can’t be cool, Ryuji, but his heart is hammering so hard that his body can’t seem to cooperate.

"Oh," Ryuji goes on, shoving his hands in his pockets. "I was looking through the gift shop for my Ma’s souvenir and I found something for you!"

He fishes out two small keychains; two flip flops, one left, one right. They're designed with a tacky Hawaiian print and coconuts all over. Ryuji hands one to Akira. "We could match, see?" He rubs the back of his neck again. "Thought it was neat cause if we both have one, it's like we're walking side by side! Or, you know, something like that." His flush deepens, spreading all the way down his neck and splitting his chest. "Or not, it's probably super lame and tacky, it only cost like, 4 dollars, which is like 40 yen, right? Anyway, my bad for ruining the mood—"

"I love it," Akira breathes.

Ryuji's eyes widen before he quickly turns away. "Cool, cool." He looks to the sunset, too overwhelmed to look at the boy next to him. "We should probably head back, yeah? Bet Yusuke and Ann are eating half the buffet by now."

Akira scoots closer, shoulder to shoulder with the boy beside him. "Then let them."

They sit there for a few more minutes, watching the sky slowly turn violet, matching keychains hanging loosely from their fingertips.

#last escapril #thanks for reading!#my ao3 is the same as my tumblr :)#p5 #persona 5 #escapril #escapril2020 #mine #akiryu #fic tag

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writing-the-end · 4 years

Text

WS Chapter 40: A Home in Hell

Previous Chapter

Masterpost

A lotta lore coming your way! Thank you X for being the only one with a braincell in this group to explain world mechanics in a way that even I- the author- hardly understands.

And sorry for yet another cliffhanger! I just love them too much! (wonder how many people caught the foreshadowing a few chapters back)

Ecto belongs to @cooler-cactus-block

Red belongs to @theguardiansofredland

Red picks up his head as he hears the sound of fireworks. The late afternoon sun blocks Red’s vision, whiting out the sky and making it impossible to see who is flying by. He feels like a castaway, trapped on this mound of sand with only an ominous nether portal and an unlit campfire. He doesn’t even have the ability to start a fire.

Glimmers of white rain from the sky, forms slowly descending from the heavens. Well, most of them are. One dives straight for Red, wings tucked in like an arrow shot from a bow. The grey elytran wings only open at the last second, just enough to slow the descent and save the flyer from experiencing kinetic energy. Not enough to keep Ecto from barreling into Red, sending them both skidding across the sand.

Red squeaks, gasping for air as Ecto hugs the breath out of her. Red feels something wet on his shoulder, and realizes that Ecto’s crying. She isn’t sure she’s ever seen Ecto cry, even when she was iced out of her own home. “We thought you were gone.”

Red’s lips thin out. She should be gone. Out of everyone’s way. But even death didn’t want something as useless as her. Avon’s wings eclipse the sun a moment later, oscillating to lower her to the sand. She crosses the sandy island in a few strides, lifting off the ground to reach Red as fast as possible. Avon wraps her arms and wings tight around the other two wanderers, cocooning all three in the embrace. A weak chuckle escapes Avon’s lips.“We have got to stop losing each other in this world.”

They only break up when Red has to push them apart. She needs to breathe, and Ecto’s vice grip is definitely not letting her do that. The hermits take slow circles to lower in altitude before landing on the short spit of land. Grian does the best landing, sliding across the sand and using the grains to skid to a stop. Stress’s landing is more of a stumble, coming in too hot for her liking.

Ecto lets go, but stays close to Red. “I...I can’t believe you’re alive. How...how does…”

“Our world has a few different rules than yours appears to have. Differences in the laws of nature, and all that.” Xisuma states, sitting down next to the wanderers. The other hermits crowd close. Even Mumbo, despite nearly being killed by sixty six percent of the trio. “Most deaths here aren’t permanent. You die, but you can come back.”

“Is that what world magic can do?” Red questions. “How does that even work?”

Iskall pulls out a pair of flint and steel, striking it to start the campfire. Keralis and Stress pull up logs for them all to sit on. And Grian reveals pockets full of food. He can’t help but notice Avon’s gaze never faltering from the potatoes in his hand. He starts cooking while Xisuma fills them in. “I don’t know how all it works, but I know my spells work and it eases the tension on all of us.”

“You don’t want to know how many times I’ve died. I’ve kinda gotten used to the tingly feeling of reviving.” Scar chuckles, leaning back and watching as the sun sets on the world. That reminds Scar of something. He picks up a bag from behind the log, tossing it across the fire to Red. “Here you go, little fish. Keep that little guy close in your world, you hear?”

Red looks down, seeing the gilded statue glinting in the sunset colors and fire flames. He notices that it has little wings on it’s back, like an angel with wings outspread. Cute little wings, smaller than his wide nose. He can’t tell if the nose was a mistake or intentional. It’s endearing, but Red isn’t sure why Fred is so important for Scar. Did he make it?

As the cooked meals are being passed around, Avon looks across the fire to Tango. He reminds her so much of Blu, especially the way that the flames frame his face, his blonde hair and eyes the color of heated netherrack. Xisuma said something about Tango spending lots of time in the nether. She bites into her baked potato, swallowing it before she speaks. “You worked in the nether?”

Tango perks up, noticing the quietest camper suddenly speak. He takes a bite of his steak, and leans back. “Yeah, a few worlds back I made this massive nether style base and humongous big farm-ificators in the dimension.”

“Were there other people in the nether? What was it like working there so long?” Red adds, scooting closer to Tango.

“I mean, it was a pretty long time ago. My mind starts to wander and mix things all up into a bunch of gobblty goop. It was really hot, for one. And yeah, there were other people. They didn’t really talk to me much, but they liked to watch my work. They were pretty chill people, the ones I met. Gave me lots of books and told me all sorts of things, like how they would just- pop!- appear in hell. Called themselves hellspawns because of that.”

Xisuma hums, looking at the wanderers and Tango. “I think there’s a reason why hellspawns exist. Every world is a bit different. Different rules of nature, and different ways of keeping those rules. But as every world mage knows, each universe needs to keep its balance. I may have a theory as to why the person who attacked you may exist.”

“Ohhh, if it’s an Xisuma idea it’s got to be all sorts of cool wizardy spells and potion things.” Tango is on the edge of his seat. He doesn’t exactly know why these people appeared and lived in the nether, but his time spent with them made him want to make the best of his own life. Live on his own terms. And he feels he has, here among the hermits.

“There’s three dimensions. All in balance with one another. Too much of one thing can be bad, and too much of another isn’t good either. The nether and the Overworld are equals and opposites. Mirrors, counterweights. Keeping the universe in balance.” Xisuma picks up a handful of sand, watching the grains fall through his fingertips and return to the millions of others among the beach.

“But what about the End? Where is it in all this?” Avon questions, leaning against a propped up knee.

“If the overworld and the nether are the weights, then the End is the scale. Measuring, taking, adding. The liminal space between both, but just as integral as either side.” Xisuma looks around. Most of the people listening seem to be lost, but still listening

“So hellspawns….” Tango whispers.

“Probably appear to give the world balance. To be the counter to the universe. A hellspawn can’t exist without it’s overworld counter being born. And the overworld needs the nether to ease the weight of creation. Both are needed to keep balance.”

“Why would Blu attack us then?” Ecto seems to understand the gist, tossing out all the weird theoretical stuff. “If both need to be balanced, why attack us? Why kill the ender dragon and freeze an entire desert?”

“That...I can’t understand.” Xisuma shrugs, pulling off his helmet to finally dig into the mushroom stew he’s been preparing. Long, fluffy brown hair falls from his helmet, curling around his face.

The wanderers look to Tango, but he shakes his head. “I don’t think any of my books or conversations can help, friends. It’s been ages since my nether base and those massive farms, leaving to join the other hermits in the new world. I really wish I could help more, but this is way out of my league man.”

The wanderers look at each other, before looking back at the fire. It’s not the answer they were looking for, but it’s information they needed. Now they know, hellspawns are from the nether. Some way of their world balancing itself. Stress changes the subject to something lighter, and Scar adds on his own quirky stories until the air is filled with laughter. Calm respite after so long the wanderers struggled. Retreating into the hermit world, wounded and defeated. Quickly becoming lost in the jungle, only to find new friends willing to help them. In more ways than just getting back on course. And now, they can return to their world. Healed and with a new understanding of what they’re facing.

With the dawn light, Scar guides the wanderers back to Larry. The giant snail still eeks over the infinity portal, guarding it with a fierce, lopsided gaze. Scar presses a crystal into each of the wanderer’s hands. “ The heart of the warrior for Avon, Luck for Ecto, and water breathing for Red.”

Red looks at his crystal, then up to Scar. He doesn’t have the heart to tell him that he can already breathe underwater. He just clutches the crystal close, nodding as the rift warps and shifts between them. As much as Red loves being with the hermits, he’s ready to go home. Ready to face whatever is waiting for him.

The wanderers step back through the portal, falling between worlds and back to their own. It’s dazing, and they can’t help but stumble back into their world. The portal disappears, leaving them in the forest. Ecto winces, rubbing her head after nearly cracking it against a tree. “Ugh, what’s that awful scent? It smells like dead fish.”

Red looks around, breath catching in his throat. He recognizes where he is. He remembers the river, flowing through the forest towards the sea. The giant boulders tossed aside and trees growing from the fractures within them. And he smells the horrible scent, making him gag, his nose burning and eyes watering. The tide is turning.

Red scrabbles to his feet, leaving Ecto and Avon behind. Stumbling through the sand of the beach, only to collapse at the interface of the water. The water swirls with a rusted red color, waves brushing dead fish and seaweed against the pristine beaches. It’s already too late.

Red was too late. The tide has turned.

#wandering stars #ecto #avon #red #hermitcraft #hermitblr #minesona #mcsona #tango tek #grianmc #xisumavoid #gtwscar #stressmonster101 #writing

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abrunettefangirlnerd · 4 years

Text

Christmas Love

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x Reader

Chapter: 2/4

Prompt: It is Christmas Eve and you are at your friend’s celebrating and exchange gifts. You just got out of a relationship and surrounded my couples. Tom Hiddleston is your best friend and long standing crush that you have come to terms with that you will never have. The night isn’t as great as you thought it would be, but then you get an unexpected visitor.

Warning: Low self-esteem, unsupportive friends

Lacing up the last bit of your skates, you make your way to the rink. Your whole life you have struggled with balance and it shows at this very moment. Stopping every few feet to keep from falling you finally meet were the ice and safe carpet meet. Taking a deep breath you look back at Tom helping a little girl lace up her skates and push off before he can start looking for you.

Attempting to move a few strides forward you begin to feel like you can do this, but then you feel a cool sting against your butt. Confusion and shock flush your features as you try and fail to get up on your own. Persistently you continue to position yourself to stand until you finally do.

“I think we finally found something you’re not good at.” Sam snickers. “It’s about time Mrs. Perfect.”

“Mrs. Perfect? Now you couldn’t be talking about (Y/N).” Tom strolls up cheerfully. “Have you tasted her cooking? Or heard her snort when she laughs too hard?”

Shooting him a look you can’t figure out his angle. You definitely know you are far from perfect and no one knows this better than Tom and your mother. All your life your friends have taunted you about being too perfect but confusingly they do the same when you make a mistake, no matter how small. After a while their jabs at you being ‘Mrs. Perfect’ made you strive to be. Their taunts about being perfect hurt less than them finding any little flaw they can and blowing it out of proportion. Though you have no idea why Tom is bringing this up. A pinching appears in your head from trying to figure it out.

Oh there is no way ‘Mrs. Perfect’ would ever do that. It would taint her flawlessness.

Oh no a 95% what happened? Guess you’re not as smart as we thought.

There is no way you know how I feel, your family is as perfect as you are. They say after you find out you have an older sister you never knew about, that your mom’s side of the family is in the middle of their own civil war, and your household dynamic has been completely out of order for months.

Stepping off the ice you rip the skates from your feet. One takes a bit longer than the other and you feel the frustration bubble within rising like bread. Still struggling you finally manage to get the skate off and you throw it across the hall to relieve some tension. Sniffling you strain back some tears as you breathe away the urge to rip your hair out.

“Why?” You ask hearing his footsteps. “You know all that crap about ‘Mrs. Perfect’ or ‘Mrs. Imperfect’ that is too confusing to figure out for me. I’m not sure if I should even be mad. I am mad, but- ugh!” Tears stream down your face. “See! So tell me why?”

“Honestly? Not entirely sure.” This rises a soft sad chuckle from you. “Why do we have to throw perfect and imperfect in the mix? Can’t you just be human? That means both, that means beautiful.”

At the world ‘beautiful’ a small sob escapes past your chapped lips. Never once could you recall anyone but your mom call you that and since she’s your mom she isn’t really allowed to say ugly. Tom doesn’t miss a beat and takes a seat next to you. His arm protectively wraps around you despite you shaking your head in protest. When you’re like this Tom knows you don’t really want to be alone. Being held makes it harder for you to put up those walls of yours and Tom wants you to soak in his words. Giving in you allow yourself to rest against Tom’s thin but warm frame.

Tom’s fingers stroke through your hair while producing soothing sounds in your ear. Closing your eyes you imagine that you are at home or Tom’s apartment. He is keeping you warm after you deny his earlier offer of a blanket. You’ve always declined his offer thinking you’d be fine, but every time you’re proven wrong.

“I’m sorry tonight is not going very well,” Tom pulls back to look into your eyes. “And I am sorry that I caused some of this headache.”

“Apology accepted.” You fight a tight grin. “But for the record you’re the best part of tonight.”

“Dude.” Josh, Sam’s boyfriend pops out of nowhere with a big grin. “(Y/N) the girls are looking for you. Wanting to talk to you about something. They’re by the snack bar, go on ahead I’ll keep Tom company.”

Glancing over at Tom you find that both of you are waiting for the other to nod an ‘okay.’ You nod first and Tom follows suit. Getting up you make your way towards the girls but before rounding a corner you sneak a look at Tom and find his eyebrows knitted together. Josh is quietly conversing with Tom and you can’t help but wonder what it is about.

Despite your curiosity you wander over to where the girls are at. Upon arrival you hear several shushes coming from their lips once they noticed you are near. Slowing your pace you cautiously close the gap between you and the rest of the girls.

“What’s up guys?” Glancing around the group you notice their eyes shifting across each other waiting for someone to speak.

“We don’t think – I mean umm.” Frankie glances at Sam.

“Tom isn’t good for you,” Sam blurts out. “We think Jake has a problem with him being in your life, and I gotta say that we agree.”

The girls go in to explain that every time Tom gets back into town from shooting you are stuck to his side for the first few days. Though it’s not just you, it’s what Tom does as well. Tom shows up out of the blue, like tonight, and surprises you like a boyfriend would. How they feel threatened cause you spend more time with him and tell him more about your life.

“You guys, Tom is my best friend. Once upon a time you guys used to surprise me at work for lunch like he does. There is nothing he does that crosses a line.”

“What about what we walked into at the house, in the kitchen?” Shiloh points between her and Jordan. “He seemed offlay comfy being that close and so did you in fact. Lucky Jake isn’t here, huh?”

Rubbing your fingers against your temples you try to sooth your returning headache. The reason you never tell them anything anymore is because they never listen. They even try to out beat you on best things or even worst things that have happened to them. Tom actually listens and tries to help, and you try to do that for him as well.

“Guys Jake and I aren’t together anymore. We broke up!” You raise your voice irritated. “Please stay out of my business unless you are really willing to be helpful. Thanks.”

“You know he doesn’t like you right?” Shiloh stands firm. “Tom can have anyone he wants. Why would he pick you?”

Storming off you don’t know where you are going but in the light of the situation, you don’t really care. The only thing you want is to get far away as possible. Though once you make it out to the parking lot frustration rumbles in your core as you remember that you did not drive here yourself. The only thing you can do to get away is to walk.

Tom’s voice is faint behind you. Wanting to wait for him, to run to him surges through you, but your feet propel your body forward. Everything is my fault! I’m the reason Jake left me, why no one likes me. Not even Tom.

Tom’s POV

Following her nod, Tom watches as (Y/N) heads toward her friends on the other side of the room. Tom’s desperately wants to follow her but he knows she can handle herself, and he knows his presence could make things worse. Tom knows the girls don’t like him, but he doesn’t care most of the time. He only cares if their jealousy pulls (Y/N) into the cold war.

“Hey, Tom I like you I really do.” Josh starts in. “But Jake and I have been buds since the sixth grade-“

“I’m sorry I must be missing something,” Tom defends himself. He stares down Josh hoping to read it on his face. “I believe your bud cheated on (Y/N).”

That is what (Y/N) told him back at the house. He couldn’t understand how one could do such a thing to someone as wonderful as (Y/N). Really to any one period, no one deserves feeling like they aren’t enough. Tom knows how rejected (Y/N) has felt growing up by people she considered family. He couldn’t imagine what was and is running through her mind from it happening.

“(Y/N) spends all her time with you. He felt lonely, left out. Jake knew that he would never mean as much to her as you do.”

Tom stands in place frozen in time. He had no idea that was what was going on. That he was the reason behind the break-up. Tom can’t say he wasn’t at least a little thrilled about them breaking up. (Y/N) was never her bright happy self around him, there was always something holding her back. Though (Y/N) always insisted that she was great and couldn’t be happier, and she has dated Jake the last few years. But he feels like he has to do something even if it may kill him.

From the corner of his eye, Tom sees (Y/N) run out leaving her perplexed friends spinning on their heels. Feeling the cool air race into his own lungs, Tom takes after her. Whatever the girls told her wasn’t good, he doesn’t have to know exactly what they said but he wants to be there for her.

“(Y/N)!! Please stop, let me help!”

Her body continues to run many paces ahead of him before eventually collapsing to the ground. She gasps for air trying to fill her lungs and Tom is tempted to do the same. Not until he gets to her though. Reaching (Y/N) is the only thing keeping him going, even as the cold air pierces his chest.

“Tom…” (Y/N) breaths seeing Tom fall to his knees in front of her.

Y/N’s POV

Everything would be so much easier if Jake didn’t break-up with me. You think of how your friends love him, your family likes him well enough, and you have to admit he is a pretty good guy. I didn’t give him enough attention.

“It is all my fault,” you repeat in a whisper.

Tom’s arms engulf you as he pulls your body close to him. His soothing voice tickles your left ear as you feel his warm fingers trail through your hair. His hand stopping on your lower back, lingering a few seconds before circling back at the top.

“Tell me how to make this better.” Tom begs. “What can we do to make this all better?”

The only thing you can do to make things better is to do the one thing you do not want to do. Looking into Tom’s eyes you watch everything you want, everything that is possible skate across his eyes. A shutter escapes past your lips as you think about never getting to see them again. Though does it matter? Shiloh is right, he could never possibly care for me the way I care for him.

“Jake,” you choke on your own words. “I need to get back together with Jake.”

Taglist: @mishaandthebrits @josis-teacup @lovesmesomehiddles @kinghiddlestonanddixon @noambition-blog @nightrose64 @neverseenaspaceshipbefore @lysawayne @midnightbarnes @drabby-abby

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forever-rogue · 4 years

Text

Lover Boy - Down the Road

A/N: So, since this month is the 1 year anniversary of Lover Boy, I decided (and you guys seemed to like this idea) to do a new little part to the story, featuring our favorite little family, set in the future. I love this story so much, and I know a lot of you did as well, and all the support I got on it really did warm my heart. So a continued thank you from me, and an I love you, and I hope you enjoy. The time period for this is set in later summer of 1985, so shortly after Live Aid.

Pairing: Roger Taylor x Reader

Word Count: 9.3k

Warnings: None

MASTERLIST

»»————-　♡　————-««

“Mum?” Ella asked as she came into the kitchen, a very concerned expression on her face as she went to fridge to grab a snack. Y/N raised an eyebrow as she waited for her oldest daughter to continue. She had been in the midst of making dinner, listening to the twins squabble between themselves as they watched a program on the television and worked on their coloring books. Ella had claimed she had been working on homework, but Y/N knew from the giggles she could hear from her room that she was most likely on the phone with one of her friends, gossiping away.

“Yes, my love? Did you actually get your homework done?” Y/N asked as Ella jumped onto the kitchen counter and sat there, intently watching her chop away. She reached for a piece of carrot and popped it into her mouth and chewed it thoughtfully, “keep your fingers out of the stuff for dinner or your fingers will become dinner!”

“I did my homework,” she insisted, keeping her eyes averted from Y/N’s. It was her giveaway every time. Y/N cleared her throat as she waited for a proper from her oldest daughter, “okay, I finished half of it. I’ll do the rest after dinner, promise!’

“Thank you, my darling,” Y/N kissed the top of her blonde mess of hair before going back to chopping. She noticed Ella’s hesitation and turned back to her, attempting to give her a reassuring smile, “go on. What’s eating away at you?”

“Nothing…” she sighed dramatically; her blue eyes so reminiscent of Roger’s own. When she realized Y/N wasn’t going to let it go, she decided to just get on with it, “fineee. At school today everyone was talking about Live Aid from this summer and they were asking all sort of questions about Daddy and Uncle John…and Uncles Bri and Freddie of course. They were all so curious, they made it seem like they were so important. Why does it matter? They’re just old dinosaurs anyways.”

“Oh? You think they’re dinosaurs?” Y/N was amused, struggling to stifle a laugh as she continued prepping the vegetables. Ella nodded fervently as she tried to put two and two and realize why everyone knew about their family, “that’s interesting though, huh? Were they rude to you about it?”

“No…they were just asking lots of questions,” she responded, “I just found it weird. Are…are they like famous or something? Does everyone know them?”

“Oh Ella May,” she put down the knife and took a step back, leaning against the counter as she let out a low sigh, “it’s a long story, it really is. But to put it simply, yes. They’re all very famous for their music. Lots of people all around the world know them.”

“Oh,” was the only sound that came out of her mouth as she processed what Y/N had said, “but we’re so normal. We’re not like...famous too.”

“Is there anything wrong with that?” Y/N teased, reaching over and giving her cheek a gentle pinch, “just know that no matter how famous your father is, his first priority is always you. He loves you and your brother and sister more than anything in this world.”

“What about you?” she mused as you just gave her a small smile. Y/N froze for a second as she tried to keep herself composed, feeling the blow of her question deep in her heart. She keep her eyes trained on the cutting board, not ready to drag any of the kids into what was going on.

“I love you all more anything too. You’re all my favorite little loves,” Y/N answered, feeling herself getting choked up, but decided not expand further into the issue with her, attempting to artfully dodge the question. She was just a child still and didn’t need to be bothered with things that weren’t her concern just yet, “why don’t you get cleaned up for dinner? And get your brother and sister too please.”

“I meant Daddy,” Ella pressured further, “he loves you too right?”

“Mhmm,” Y/N made the sound through lightly pressed lips as she gave her a quick nod, “now run along, dinner’s almost ready.”

“Yes Mumma,” she slid off the counter and set off in the direction of the living room, “when is Daddy coming home? He’s been gone ages and I miss him. Aurora and Johnnie do too. He’s coming back, right?”

“Yes, of course,” Y/N answered quietly, her heart shattering into a million little pieces from the simple question, “he’ll always be back for you, my love. He’ll be home soon.”

“Good! Because it’s almost Christmas and Daddy’s always home for Christmas! It wouldn’t be the same without him!”

Y/N stood there, speechless, as Ella ran to get the twins, humming one of Roger’s songs under breath. She truly hoped she hadn’t just lied to her own daughter. Was Roger coming home? Even she didn’t know the answer to that one.

Ella was talking excitedly to the twins and as she took them upstairs to clean up, which left Y/N standing there, seemingly frozen as she played the dish towel. She felt like she was going to cry, but didn’t want to completely break down in front of the children so she turned back to the task at hand and put all her attention and focus into making sure each chop was perfect. If her chops were perfect, then her mind couldn’t wander too much. And that was exactly what she needed at the moment.

Dinner proved to be a quiet affair, despite how hard Y/N tried to keep everything as normal. But it was hard to keep her mind focused on any one thing, so she let the kids do most of the talking, all of them expected about their days and their upcoming school break for the holidays.

“Are you okay, Mummy?” Aurora asked as she looked at Y/N noticing that was much more quiet than normal. Plastering a smile on her face, she shook her head and reached over to tug a few loose strands of hair behind Aurora’s ear.

“Just fine, love bug,” she tried her best to speak in a calm reassuring manner, “just tired is all. Nothing to worry about.”

“Ellie said Daddy’s coming home,” she said as she shoved a spoon full of food into her mouth, “isthattrue?”

“Don’t talk with your mouth full,” Y/N raised an eyebrow at her, and she swallowed the bite before giving her a sheepish grin. Y/N sucked in a breath, amazed by how much her mannerisms reminded her of Roger, “and I don’t exactly when he’ll be back home. Soon, I promise. You’ll see him soon.”

“Finally,” John grinned at his sisters, “he’s been gone forever!”

“I know loves,” Y/N reassured them, “he won’t be gone forever. He’d always come back for the three of you.”

They went back to talking among themselves, leaving Y/N to pick at her plate silently. She made a comment here and there, but otherwise tried to focus on keeping her cool and not having a complete mental breakdown.

»»————-　♡　————-««

Over the next couple of weeks Y/N busied herself with working at the bakery, which thankfully was busier than ever before, and events at the kids’ schools to keep her mind occupied at all times. She knew she was pushing herself, probably more than she should have been, but she was willing to do whatever keep her mind busy.

At night it was worse, much worse, as her mind was free to wander and all the dark thoughts she repressed came out to play. The next space in the large bed next to her didn’t help, and she often found herself reaching over touching Roger’s side of the bed, almost as if she’d actually be able to touch him.

But she never found him, instead pulling the blankets tightly around her body and sometimes crying herself to sleep.

One chilly, but sunny morning, a loud knock came on her door, quickly followed by John opening it and poking his head in. He gave her a bright smile as she just sighed and threw a pillow at him, “good morning little sister!”

“John,” she sighed heavily, “to what do I owe the pleasure?”

“It’s the weekend,” he stated as he walked into the bedroom and closed the door behind him, coming and sitting on the edge of the bed. He put his hand on Y/N’s leg and gave it a reassuring squeeze, “it’s our weekend to watch the kids, remember? You get them all next weekend!”

“I guess it must have slipped my mind,” she said as she leaned up and rubbed the remainder of slip from her eyes, “I’ve been busy but it’s been...”

“A vain attempt at keeping a certain something from your mind?” he finished for her and Y/N gave her older brother a slight nod. He watched her for a moment, wishing there was something he could do for her, but he knew whatever he said wouldn’t be very assuring to her at this point. Besides that, it was his place to fix what was going on; all he could do was to help and support her at this point.

“Yeah, something like that,” she sighed heavily, giving him the smallest of smiles, “what am I going to do Deacy?”

“I wish I could help you with that,” he said quietly, “but unfortunately that’s up to the two of you to figure out. There’s no on else that can fix this...if that’s what you to do. You’re both just going to have to talk it out and see how to go on.”

“You and Vee make it look so easy,” Y/N lightly groaned and let her head hit the back of the headboard, “ugh, why are you two so perfect?”

John snorted as he raised his eyebrow at her, “us? Perfect. You don’t know the half of it then. Y/N, things for us are hardly perfect. We argue and disagree about things all the time, just like everyone else. No marriage is perfect.”

“But you two always seem so happy, so in love.”

“Because we are, but it doesn’t mean things are always easy. Marriage isn’t easy, it’s not supposed to be, but it’s about fighting for what you want,” he explained, “you just have to ask yourself about what you want, and then you have to work for it.”

“Well,” she sighed and shrugged at him, “I guess I have to figure out what I want first. H-have you heard from him yet?”

“No, love, I’m sorry,” John’s face turned into a grimace for just a moment as he realized what he was saying wasn’t good news in the slightest, “last I heard from him he was still in Montreux.”

“The kids miss him,” she responded simply, her heart sinking just a little bit. The idea that he was even in the same country as her was heart breaking and she felt a pang in her chest. It felt odd to her that she didn’t even really know her own husband’s routine anymore.

“What about you?” he asked quietly, reaching for hand and giving it a tight, reassuring squeeze that he hoped would convey to her just how much he loved her.

“I miss him too,” she responded, her voice cracking as she tried to hold back her tears. It was too early in the day to be going through a complete breakdown, but here she was - scared and heartbroken, “I miss him so much. I love him, John, I always have and I always will.”

“Well,” he leaned over and kissed the side of her head, “I think that gives you your answer. You have to fight for what you want; the least you could do is tell him.”

“It’s hard,” she responded quietly, dabbing at the few tears that were running down her face, “we didn’t exactly part on the best terms...I know that means nothing, I know I could just pick up the phone and call him, but every time I try...I just freeze and do nothing.”

“I know it’s hard, Y/N. But that’s just the thing, none of this, marriage, love, children, it’s not easy. But that doesn’t mean it’s not worth it,” he continued on and as much as Y/N wanted to roll her eyes, she knew he had a point. Her relationship with Roger hadn’t been easy by any means from the start, but she hadn’t expected that it would always be so hard. She just wanted things to be smooth sailing for once, “do you remember how happy you were the day you married Roger?”

“Yes,” she smiled at the memory of their wedding, how Brian had spilled their secret and announced her pregnancy, how it had been the best day of her life, topped only by the birth of their children, “it was perfect...well as perfect as it gets with us.”

“Exactly,” he said gently, and Y/N slowly began to put the pieces together, “and you can still have all of that, but you just need to work for it. That’s it. The two of you worked so hard to be together all those years ago, and you can still do it. You just have to be willing to do it.”

“Thank you, Deacy,” she let out a long, low sigh, but leaned over and wrapped her arms around her older brother. She always said he was so overbearing when they were growing up, but nowadays she was so thankful for him, “you’ve been the best and most helpful big brother as always-”

“Come on Uncle Deacy,” not even bothering to knock, Ella stuck her head, sounding impatient. She was slowly, but surely becoming more and more of a pre-teen developing a lot off sass and attitude. Besides just looks, her personality almost exactly mirrored Roger’s; it was almost scary sometimes how much alike they were, “we’re all ready to go. Auntie Vee promised to make cookies today, and there is no way I’m missing that!”

“Ever heard of knocking Ella May?” Y/N asked as she gave her the look.

“Ugh,” she groaned lightly, “sorry. We’ll be outside waiting! See you tomorrow, Mum!”

“Be good for your Aunt and Uncle, do you hear me?” Y/N called after her as she trudged down the stairs, mouthing something unintelligible back just before the door slammed shut, “and be nice to your siblings and cousins!”

“I better get going,” John said as he slid off the bed, “otherwise they’ll never forgive me if they miss the cookies. I won’t be the cool Uncle anymore - and I refuse to give that role to Brian!”

“Oh dear, can’t afford to lose that title,” Y/N laughed, the first real laugh she’d experience in ages, as she followed him to the door and gave him one more big hug, “thanks again for everything. I’m going to spend today doing some thinking.”

“If you need to talk, you know who to call,” he said with a wave as he walked down the hallway, “see you tomorrow, Sunshine. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Y/N said quietly as she closed the door again, letting out a heavy sigh before going to her dresser. She picked up the photograph that was on it, and studied it, fingers tracing over the ornate rose gold frame. It was of her and Roger, taken sometime during their honeymoon, the two of them nothing but huge smiles; they looked so young and happy. It was hard to believe they had come so far, and this was the point they had reached.

“I love you more than anything,” she whispered to no one in particular as she held the picture to her chest for a moment before setting back on the dresser.

After a few moments of silent contemplation, Y/N gave in and decided to go back to bed for a while. It wasn’t like anyone was going to be for a while and besides that who was going to stop her? Pulling back the covers she crawled into Roger’s side of the bed, which had been empty for what seemed like eons, and she clutched onto his pillows.

The pillowcases had been washed many times since his departure, but the faint smell of his cologne still managed to hang on. Unable to hold back the wave of emotions that she had brought upon herself, a few tears streamed on the pillow as she closed her eyes and tried to sleep. It seemed like a much better idea than just laying there and pitying herself. She knew all of their problems weren’t only Roger’s fault, but they were hers too.

Both of them had said things that came out in the heat of the moment and they immediately regretted, the only issue was that they didn’t seem to manage to apologize. Instead they just let everything fester and choose to ignore their problems, almost as if they were hoping they would sort if just go away. But they didn’t, much like the issues they had before they had finally gotten together.

But this time fate didn’t seem to bring them back together; it had felt her at home with their three children while Roger had left for Switzerland. She didn’t even try to stop him, and he didn’t look back, only calling later on to tell their children how much he loved them and that he had to go away for work for a while.

A while had turned into a couple of months, with nothing but a few intermittent phone calls. The conversations were sort and stiff between the two of them, and he spent the majority of the time speaking to the children, which Y/N didn’t mind. As long as Ella, Aurora, and Johnnie knew how much he loved them, she was okay with that. That was all that mattered at that point, her own feelings pushed to the side for the sake of her children; that’s what mothers did after all.

Their last interaction had been almost a month ago and he told her he’d been back within the next couple of weeks, but it wasn’t brought up again. He was still, obviously, in communication with John, Brian, and Freddie, who all gave her whatever updates they could. But it was never enough, if truth be told, nothing would be enough until he was back at home and they could see other face to face.

But she was scared, so scared, of all the possibilities for when he came home. Would he be fuming and it would end up in a fight and screaming match with the two of them more broken than ever? Or would it be a silent affair where they didn’t speak but they just coexisted like roommates until their kids moved out? Or would he just take his things and leave? Or would he stay and they would work everything out like they had always done?

It was a lot of what ifs and the idea that most scenarios ended up with them basically breaking up was enough to crush her soul. He had been her everything for so long, they had overcome so much together, fought for each other, but what now?

»»————-　♡　————-««

Y/N looked around be kitchen and let out a small sigh when she had realized she had run out of things to do, and it was only mid-afternoon. Not having three kids running around made it simple to clean up with interruption and get all the laundry done. She’d even considered going into the bakery to do some work since it was nearing the holidays and it was peak business, but she knew Marie would chase her out as soon as she stepped foot into the building. She’d already worked for most of the week, and knew it would be good to have the weekend off, but it didn’t leave her with much too do. Being alone with her own thoughts for too long was just as bad.

She glanced at the wall and her eyes landed on the phone. Just call, a voice in her nagged her on, just call him. She felt like she was frozen as she willed herself to walk over to it. It would be simple, just dialing his number and listening to the ring while he most likely wouldn’t answer regardless.

After a few moments of arguing with herself, she finally walked over to it and picked up the receiver. She slowly dialed the number of the apartment he was staying, and played with the cord while she waited for him to answer. A part of her really wanted him to answer, and a part of her hoped he wouldn’t. She was sure which part of stronger.

A few antagonizing moments later the call was sent to the answering machine, which just gave her a generic response to leave a message. Y/N was ready to slam the receiver down, but she held onto it, and decided to leave a message. What was the worst that could happen?

“Hey Rog,” her voice was slow and shaky as she tried to keep herself composed, “it’s me, Y/N. I-I don’t why I said that. I imagine you know what I sound like by now…I’m rambling, I’m sorry. I just…I…miss you. I miss you a lot actually, and I just wanted to say that. And I love you, God knows I do…come home please. I need you, I can’t do this without you. Any of this. Or just…call me back when you can. The kids miss you too, and they’re dying to see you again. Even if you don’t come for me or you’ve decided we’re done, please just come home for them, they deserve their dad.”

Before she could continue and ramble on, Y/N slammed the phone back down on the receiver. Unable to control herself anymore, she let the sob rack through her body, the tears following down her cheeks. She ended up plopping into one of the kitchen chairs, and rested her head in her hands.

She kept trying to calm herself down, telling herself that it was going to be alright. But she wasn’t able to trick herself into believing that it was true. It felt wrong, it all felt so wrong and bad and like it was never going to be the same anymore or get better. She just want things back to the way they were.

She wanted nothing more than things to be back to how they were when they were young and madly in love. How they used to be before things seemed to fall apart.

Taking a look around the kitchen through bleary eyes, she let out a heavy sigh. Wiping away her tears with the sleeve of her sweater, she came to the conclusion that a hot bath might help. It wasn’t much, but she decided it was worth a try, that maybe the warmth of the water would surround her and comfort her. The only other thing she knew that would comfort her was hugs from her children, but they were gone; not that she would have bothered them with her problems anyway.

Finally managing to drag herself up, Y/N slowly headed upstairs, going slowly and taking a moment to study and straighten the pictures on the walls. There were so may from throughout the years of her and Roger, the children, and their extended family. It was a sobering experience, and gave Y/N a moment of pause. She ran her finger over one of the last photos, one of their little family taken the previous summer. They all looked so happy and careless, big grins on everyone’s faces; if only they had known then what they knew now. She wondered if everything would ever go back to normal, if they’d ever take pictures like that again.

Reminding herself not to get too caught up in memories or feeling nostalgic, she continued on her way upstairs, taking them two at a time to speed up the process, quietly repeating to herself what she was going to do: get clean pajamas, new towel, bubble bath in tub, turn on water, get in hot water. Get clean pajamas, new towel, bubble bath in tub, turn on water, get in hot water.

She went through the motions as she repeated everything, letting out a long sigh as she tested the water with a few fingers to make sure she could get inside without being scalded to death. Slowly stripping off her clothes, she slid into the water and let herself sink underneath the mass of bubbles.

It felt good to be surrounded completely by the water, to experience nothing but stillness and quiet. After holding her breath for as long as she could, Y/N resurfaced and took a long breath and settled against the back of the tub, closing her eyes. She thought about taking a nap in the water, but knew she would regret it as soon as the water cooled and she woke up as a chilled prune, so she opted to relax for a little bit while the water was still hot.

But the relaxation was short lived because as soon as she closed her eyes, and tried to silence her brain, fleeting memories of her last fight with Roger started to invade any sense of peace and ease she was experiencing.

“Nice of you to finally come home,” Y/N sighed as she rubbed her tired eyes, glancing at the watch still on her wrist. She had been on the couch, watching old movies on television while she waiting for Roger to come home. She knew they had a gig and it would run late, but she wasn’t expecting him to be gone well into the early hours of the morning.

“Why are you still up?” he asked, his speech slightly slurred as he kicked off his shoes and left them by the front door. He looked tired and his eyes were bloodshot; it had clearly been some kind of night.

“Gee, I dunno, maybe because I expected you home hours ago, and I called every place I could think of but couldn’t get a hold of you?” she countered, crossing her arms over her chest, “everyone else was home hours ago, Rog.”

“I was just having fun,” he insisted, heading for the stairs to get to their bedroom and crash for the rest of the morning, “it’s no big deal.”

“Oh? Leaving your wife and three children home alone to wonder where you are is fine?”

“Don’t you dare start this-”

“I was worried, Roger! They were all worried and wanted to know why their father wasn’t here.”

“You know what my job is,” he insisted, growing more annoyed with each passing second, “you know how things are!”

“Yes, I get it, Rog, you’re a big rock star and everyone fawns over you,” she could feel herself growing more angry, “but that doesn’t change the fact that things aren’t the same as they were a decade ago. We have three kids, Roger, we’re not the kids anymore, and you can’t keep doing this.”

“Don’t try and put this all on my me, Y/N,” his voice was laced with venom as he tried to keep his voice down to keep the kids from waking up, “what about you, huh? You work hours and hours and then spend half the weekends away from the kids and I too! Why am I the bad guy here?”

“Because what I do is an actual job,” she jabbed her finger at him and poked his chest, “I spend time at a real job, at a business that I started from the ground up, and you know what? Half the time the kids want to come with me, and I let them. I’m actually here for them, I don’t spend half the time traveling around the world!”

“You always knew it would be like this,” he said as his voice started to crack and Y/N realized they were both on the verge of tears, “we always knew. And now you’re using it against me?”

“No, no-” she tried to make sense of conversation and keep it from getting derailed, “I just...we’re adults, Rog, and we’ve got three people that depend on us for everything. And they love you more than anything in the world, and it’s hard on them to have you gone so much.”

“So you’re saying I’m a bad father?” he was just speaking out of anger now, the alcohol still cursing through his veins.

“I never said that!”

“Then what are you trying to say?” Y/N found herself staring at him, mouth opening and closing wordlessly. After a few moments of nothing but tense silence, he scoffed and turned to head up the upstairs without another word. She listened to his footsteps before the door slammed, and she found herself in tears and alone.

Walking back over to the couch, she had laid down, halfheartedly pulling a blanket over herself as she tried fall asleep, replaying their fight over and over. Throughout their relationship they’d had arguments and little squabbles, but never something like this. But, then again, she supposed this was maybe a long time coming. All the little things they had just put up with were finally coming to the surface and causing them to explode in anger.

The next morning she woke up to a quiet house, the kids keeping themselves occupied and a note on the kitchen counter. It was a hastily scrawled few sentences from Roger letting her know he had gone to Montreux for the time being. It had taken everything in her power not to completely breakdown and go after him. But things were different now. Very different.

“Fuck,” she hissed under her breath as she sat up in the tub, suddenly feeling more lonely than she had thought was possible. The silence was suddenly deafening and it was almost unbearable. Drumming her fingers along the edge of the tub, Y/N pondered what she should do. There wasn’t much to do at the house, although she could have had a movie marathon, work probably wasn’t the best idea, and everyone else already had plans - Veronica and John had all the kids, Brian was out of town, and Freddie was off on holiday.

“Napping it is,” she murmured to herself, she’d already gotten clean pajamas ready, she might as well use them. But her plans were suddenly cut short when a loud banging came from downstairs, causing her to almost jump out of the tub, “shit, shit, shit.”

She almost jumped out of the bathtub, quickly grabbing her towel and wrapped it around her frame as she debated what to do. Running and hiding seemed like a good option, but she was also curious and wanted to see if it was someone attempting to break into. Maybe it was some sort of stray animal that was just making a ruckus. It was the middle of the day on a Saturday, would someone really be dumb enough to try and break in? A million thoughts ran through her mind as time ticked away. Of all the times for her to alone, it had to be now of course.

Toweling herself off, she hastily pulled on her pajamas and made her way out of the bathroom. Trying to remain calm, she sneaked onto the landing and tried to peek downstairs to see who the sudden intruder was. She couldn’t see anything, just heard a few more knocks and some hushed whispers. It definitely sounded like a man.

Unsure of what seemed to possess her, but she ran into the bedroom and grabbed the first thing she that she spotted…which just happened to be a few of Roger’s drumsticks. Y/N didn’t know exactly what she wanted to do with them, but she was sure could find a way to use them in one way or another, even if it just involved throwing them at the person.

Slowly and tactfully she went down the stairs, one by one, getting closer and closer to the source of the noise, surprised by how quiet the stairs were being for once. As she got to the last step, Y/N jumped onto the floor and held out the drumsticks, feeling a rush of adrenaline flow through her.

“Stop thief!” she shouted at the top of her lung, ready to toss the sticks in the direction of the door. She heard a surprised gasp before looking up, letting out her own squeak of surprise, “Roger?!”

“Y/N,” his voice climbed as his voice climbed up an octave, holding his hands in the air to show that he wasn’t doing anything wrong. He finally noticed what she was holding in her hands and couldn’t back the small bits of laughter that bubbled up, “were you...attempting to harm with drumsticks? My own drumsticks at that?”

“I didn’t now what to grab!” she sighed as she tossed the sticks to the side and ran a hand through her messy, still wet hair, “I was in the tub when I heard all the noise. I thought it was an intruder or something, so I panicked.”

“At this time of day in our neighborhood?” he cocked his head to the side and gave her a bemused glance.

“I’m home alone and was naked and afraid!” she countered, crossing her arms over her chest as she realized what was really happening. Roger was standing there, in the flesh in front of her, several months since they had last seen each other. She wanted to cry, but wasn’t ready for a complete breakdown, so she comprised on attempting to make a joke, “and just so you know, I could have done some damage with that stick, shoved it up your ass something.”

Her voice cracked as she awaited his response, but even after a few moments have passed, a silence hung in the air. Roger watched her closely as he finally chuckled, clearly close to tears of hos own, “you could never have done that. Hate to break it to you, but you’re not tough enough, Sunshine. I could have easily won that one.”

She perked up when she realized he had used her nickname; she hadn’t heard it come from him in so long, and at this point she couldn’t hold back the tears that streamed down her cheeks. He looked at her with a small sad little smile on his face, and she just looked at him, lost for words as she gestured with her hands, trying to get something, anything, out.

“I...you...you’re home,” she managed to get out after a few moments of stillness. She met his cerulean eyes and he bit his bottom lip, and nodding, unsure of what exactly to himself. They locked eyes for a few moments, saying so much to each other without evening having to utter a word. Just when she thought she was about to burst from emotion, she ran over to him and jumped into his outstretched arms, which he already had open and waiting for her.

Y/N burrowed her head in his chest as she let him hold, having been deprived of his touch for so long. It was like she had come home too; nothing compared to feeling of being his arms. Roger closed his eyes and rested in his head in the crook of her neck, and pressed a few soft kisses to the exposed skin he found there. He held her so tightly she was sure he might break her ribs, but she didn’t care, she didn’t. Nothing mattered in that moment besides him and her. They stayed like that for sometime, wrapped in each other’s arms, complete silence except sounds of a few sniffles.

“You came home,” she whispered finally, pulling back and studying his face, almost as if she was trying to see if he looked any different. Luckily it was the same old Roger, the only difference being that he looked tired, dark circles under his bright eyes. He nodded as he put his hand to her face brushed his calloused fingertips over the high points of her face, “the kids will be so happy.”

“What about you?” he asked quietly, watching as she closed her eyes and leaned into his touch. It was almost as if no time had passed and everything was normal.

“I’m happy too,” she admitted, her smile stretching from ear to ear, “and I’d be even happier if you stayed. I want you to stay.”

“I want to stay,” he agreed gently, “I don’t want to leave and I don’t want to fight. I want you, only you and everything that entails, including working through our problems. I should never have left.”

“I shouldn’t have let you leave,” she countered, leaning forward and resting her forehead against his.

“To be fair, you were sleeping when I left,” he joked, pressing his lips ever so lightly as against his, “I should have come home a lot sooner.”

“What made you finally do it?” she asked, letting her lips linger on his, trying to re-memorize the feeling and taste of them, “did you hear my message? I called earlier and probably left a blubbering, incomprehensible message.”

“I’m sorry, love, I didn’t get it,” he said, “I probably had already left.”

“Oh,” Y/N laughed, part of her relieved that he didn’t have to hear the message, “that makes sense. Probably better off anyway...you’re here now, that’s what matters.”

“Deacy,” Roger let out small chuckle, “he called me this morning, after he picked up the kids. He’s called me a lot really...he’s probably the one whose kept me sane this whole time, but don’t worry he’s being calling me a right wanker since the day I left.”

“Of course he did,” sometimes she wanted to strangle John, always feeling like he was overprotective, but deep down, she couldn’t have asked for a better brother. No one ever came close to John (sans for Roger) when it came to amazing human beings, “he had a long talk with me too this morning.”

"He always knows exactly what to say, doesn't he?" the conversation was growing stilted and she could both tell they were skirting around the issues at hand. They couldn't avoid them forever, and for whatever reason, Roger seemed to read her mind. He took Y/N's hand and gave it a tight squeeze before bringing it to his lips and giving it soft kiss.

"Hey," his voice was soft and she bit the inside of her cheek to keep from crying, "I love you, Y/N. Nothing's ever going to change that. We're going to be okay."

"Yeah?" she asked, closing her eyes to attempt to stop the tears from running down her cheeks. This moment was something like they hadn't experienced in some time, it reminded her of when they were both still much younger and kid free.

"Yeah," he promised, "always. One fight isn't going to break us apart, Sunshine. We're endgame, remember?"

"I could never forget that," she put her hands on his chest and watched him closely. Even though the years had aged both of them, he was still the same Roger that she had fallen in love. His blue eyes still twinkled like they always did, the smile same as ever. He was her love through and through.

"We should probably...talk about some stuff," he suggested and she nodded.

"Let's get you settled in first," Y/N agreed, reaching for his bags to take them upstairs, "you must be exhausted."

"It's a short flight," he chuckled as he took charge, and gently swatted her hand away. She grinned as you let him grab everything, "are you just trying to get me upstairs and take me to bed?"

"I mean, I'm not opposed to the idea," she felt her face heat up at his words. It had been a long time since they'd been together, especially since he'd been gone for some time. He paused for a moment and turned to go upstairs, making sure she was following him.

He took the steps two at a time, quickly making his way into the bedroom, dropping his bags by the door and flopping onto the bed. He let out a long sigh, as he kicked off his shoes and burrowed into the covers.

"I've missed this," he sighed contently as he pulled a pillow close to him and caught a waft of Y/N's scent clinging to the fabric, "no other bed compares to this."

"Well, I suppose it is a good thing we invested in a decent bed," she laughed and as she walked over to him and he held out his arms to her.

"It's not just that it's a good bed," he insisted, as she crawled into the bed and into his arms, "its because it's our bed. Nothing comes close to getting to be next to you. You’re the best thing in this world.”

“Oh shut up, you old fool,” Y/N couldn’t help the smile that was spreading across her face as she snuggled into his chest, inhaling his familiar scent and listening to the steady beat of his heart. She had missed this more than anything else.

“I’m an old fool? What does that make you?” he joked and nudged him in the side. He let out a huff of air that turned into a laugh as he kissed the top of your head.

“I’m still your wife and the mother of your children,” she reminded, “choose your words carefully.”

“You’re still as beautiful...” he started but then stopped for a moment as he trailed his fingers along her arm, rough fingers soft on her skin. She waited for him to go on, wondering what on earth he was getting at, “no, you’re even more beautiful now than you were back then. And you get more beautiful and radiant with every passing year.”

“Are you trying to rack up brownie points?” she joked as she tried to prevent the crack in her voice, “because it’s working. And if you’re trying to make me cry, you’re about ten seconds away from doing so.”

“I don’t want to make you cry,” he reassured her; he’d seen her cry on many occasions, and mostly due to joy which was good, but the times it was for something sad, it broke his heart and make him want to fix everything for her, “never again. And I realize I’ve done that, and I’m sorry.”

“’s okay.”

“No, it’s not,” he insisted, “the things I said to you right before I left weren’t okay. I’m sorry truly...I’ve been thinking about what you said, and it was true. I can’t go on acting like I have no real responsibilities and can do whatever I want. It’s not fair for me to leave you and Ella and Johnnie and Aurora alone. You four are the most important things in my life, and should always be my priority. I should have realized that sooner.”

“We know how much you love us,” she reassured him, turning her head so she could face him, starting into those ocean eyes she could get lost in, “I know, and I’ve always made sure they know too. I’m sorry for not bringing up my worries earlier...I just sat on them instead of coming to you about it, and that wasn’t fair to you. I shouldn’t have said all those things either.”

“Your words weren’t nearly as bad as mine.” he admitted, cringing slightly as he replayed that fight in his mind. It was definitely the only blow up they’d had, and he planned on keeping it that way; all the other disagreements were small and easily overcome, but that one had been a whole new experience, and one he didn’t want to relive, “what I said was totally out of line. And you don’t...you’re not gone too much. You’re always here for everyone, and you’re the greatest mother...and wife and sister and friend.”

“Roger,” she was biting her lip to stop her sniffles, wondering why she was even bothering to hold back, it was just the two of them after all, “you don’t have to say all of this just to make me happy or whatever-”

“I’m not just saying these things,” he promised her, “they’re true. And while I was gone, I had a lot of time to think...and I think I’ve made some decisions.”

“Oh?”

“I want to be home more,” he said firmly, “I think it’s time to slow down and be around more for the kids, and for you.”

“What about the band?” Y/N sat up and turned herself so she was sitting on his lap as he laid against the pillows. She smiled at him and reached one hand over to touch his face, gently running her fingers all over highs and lows, remembering how his skin felt under her fingers. Before she could stop herself, she closed the small distance between them, pressing her lips to his.

It was soft and gentle at first, but quickly ended up more urgent, as Roger sat up and pulled her tightly into his body, his hands on her waist as hers tangled up in his fair. There was a neediness to it, a hunger that hadn’t been fed for a while as the two of them got lost in one another. He pulled back for a moment, giving her a few quick pecks as he tried to read the expression in her eyes.

“They understand,” he explained, “especially John and Bri, and Fred too. We’ve all got our own families to look after now. We’ve been doing this for so long without a break, it’s high time we took one.”

“You’re not breaking up, are you?” she asked, her eyes wide with concern.

“Never,” he insisted quickly, “Queen’s never going to break up. We’ll be going on well into our golden years, all of us, I’m sure. But right now, we’re all much over due for a break.”

“Good,” she beamed at him, “what are you going to do with all of this free time?”

“Dunno,” he admitted, “it’ll be weird. Well, I’ll be able to help more with the kids...and maybe I can even help you at the bakery!”

“You...you’ve burnt toast, my love,” she burst out laughing, failing to even try to imagine him in the kitchen, “I don’t think that’s going to be your calling. But the kids will be beyond excited; they’ve been dying for you to come home for ages.”

“I’ve missed them too. I feel like I’ve missed so much from them, and now Ella’s almost a teenager,” he said and you nodded. It was hard to believe that time that gone by that fast, “I don’t want to miss more.”

“Then you won’t,” she played with a lock of his golden hair, twirling it around a finger.

“I was thinking-”

“Oh dear!”

“Very funny,” he joked as he laid back down and pulled her on top of him. She noticed that his heart was beating a little bit more rapidly than it had been and she wondered what he was getting at, “but...ummm...well...”

“Okay with it, Taylor,” she pressed a few kisses along his jaws trying to get him to spill his thoughts.

“What if we had another?” he blurted out, his face flushing bright red as he anticipated her response. Y/N took a moment to process what he had said before pausing, her eyebrows raised so high they almost disappeared into her hairline.

“Another...child?” she asked and he nodded shyly, “you want to possibly, maybe have another baby? To do all of what we’ve done with three of them already all over?”

“I mean....kind of. It’s just something I’ve thought about,” he admitted, “we’ve got the time, and we’ve always talked about having a big family. But obviously, only if you want to! This is totally just a throw it out there situation. This is all up to you of course.”

“You’ve just come home and you’re already propositioning me?” she joked and threw her back with laughter, “a few days ago I was wondering if I’d ever see you again and now you want to do the deed and have a baby?”

“I mean, when you say it like that...” he laughed, biting his lip in that way that drove her crazy, “but did you really think I’d never come back?”

“On the surface I did,” she confessed, feeling silly that she had even let her mind go to that extreme, “but I guess deep down I knew things would be okay. We’ve been through so much, I should know by now it’s going to make a lot more than one fight to break us up.”

“Nothing’s ever going to break us up,” he insisted, taking her hand and entwining his fingers with hers, “even if it did take me some time to figure myself out and get my head out of ass.”

“Hey, this was both of us, not just you.”

“I know...but it was mostly me...”

“Roger,” she reached up and put her hand under his chin, tilting his face up so he was looking at her, “our relationship is the two of us. We’re a team. We’re going to get past this and learn from our mistakes. Whatever problems we have we’re going to talk about them and work through them and not just let things blow up. Yeah?”

“Yes,” it wasn’t even a question that he would try and prevent anything like this from happening again. He never wanted to lose Y/N, and the fact that she thought, for even a fraction of a second that he might not come back was enough to break his heart in two, “let’s never fight again.”

“I dunno if that’s possible,” she giggled at him, wondering how she got so lucky as to have him and get to call him hers and only hers, “there’s always going to be some stuff we argue about and don’t agree, but that’s okay. It’s only human. But one thing I know, my Lover, is that we’ll always be together.”

“Always?”

“Always,” she said with as she laid back down on his chest. He put his arms around her, stroking up and down her back gently, switching between tracing shapes and beats into the soft fabric of her top. It was in that moment that she knew this was exactly where this meant to be; home.

“I love you,” he whispered in her ear, his voice the softest and most gentle thing she had heard in a long time, “a little more every single day.”

“I love you,” she whispered into the crook of beck, barely loud for him to hear, “now tell me more about this whole having another baby thing. I’ll admit, you’ve got my curiosity piqued. Tell me more about possible Taylor baby number four.”

»»————-　♡　————-««

A soft knock at the door stirred Y/N awake from her light slumber. She stretched and sighed contently as she felt Roger move next to her, one arm still wrapped tightly around her waist. The sun was steaming in through the curtains and the clock on the night suggested that it was well into the morning. It had been a long night, and she and Roger had decided to sleep in and take advantage of the quiet and slow morning.

She wondered if she had imagined the knock and closed her eyes again, snuggling further into Roger’s side. There was a beat of silence before the door creaked open ever so slowly, and a small head poked inside the room. Y/N opened an eye, a grin spreading across her face when she saw it was Aurora looked excitedly back at her.

“Mummy?” she asked as pushed opened the door and stepped into the room. As soon as Roger had heard the sound of her voice, he’d sat straight up, his face threatening to split in two at the sight of his daughter. Aurora beamed at him before almost shouting, “Daddy!”

“My love bug,” he stretched out his arms to her and it took her a fraction of a second before she launched herself at him. She was giggling like mad as Roger peppered her with kisses, “I’ve missed you, baby. Look at you’ve gotten so big!”

“I’ve missed you too, Daddy,” she gap him a gap toothed grin as she sat in his lap.

“What’s going on?” Ella asked as she opened the door and stepped inside, Johnnie on her heels. Her mouth dropped open as she realized what the fuss was all about. Johnny gasped as well as Ella shouted, “Daddy!”

“Hi kiddos,” he said as he beckoned for them to come and join the cuddle pile that was currently happening on the bed. They jumped onto the bed and once they had said hello to Y/N, turned their attention back to Roger, “I’ve missed you three so, so much.”

“We’ve missed you too,” Ella sighed contently as she settled in between the Roger and Y/N, happy to have both of her parents back at home, “you’ve been gone forever, and let’s be honest, Mum’s not nearly as fun!”

“I am fun!” Y/N insisted, as Roger started to snicker away, “just because I have to be the serious one sometimes, excuse me!”

“You’re fun Mummy,” Johnnie reassured her, burrowing into her side as he got under the warm blanket, “but Daddy’s more fun sometimes.”

“Alright, alright,” Y/N leaned over and gave them all kisses, “we all know who the fun parent is, but don’t forget who gets you all the sweet treats!”

“That is a fair point,” Ella admitted as she looked between her parents, “you’re staying, right Daddy? Please say you’re staying, it’s never the same without you.”

“I’m staying,” he promised them, “I don’t plan on leaving, not for a long time and never this long again. Not unless you’re all coming with me.”

“Finally,” Ella said as she flopped at the foot of the bed, “it’s always better with both of you around. Mum’s no fun without Dad and Dad’s also no fun without Mum. It’s kind of gross really, how in love you are.”

“You won’t always think it’s so bad, Ella May,” Y/N said as Roger took her hand and gave it a light squeeze, “one day you’ll fall in love with someone too!”

“Ugh, as if,” she groaned as she rolled off the bed and headed for the door, “love is icky, and so are all the boys and girls at school. Come on, you two, we’ve got tons of cookies left from Aunty Vee!”

“Do not eat all the cookies,” she groaned at them, knowing they’d be bouncing off the walls from their sugar intake, “save some for the two of us and for after dinner tonight. Or I’ll never let you go to their house again.”

“No, you wouldn’t!” Ella called back as the three kids trampled down the stairs, giggling amongst themselves. Y/N exchanged a look with Roger and they both let out a chuckle as they laid back down.

“They haven’t changed a bit,” Roger commented as he stifled a yawn. The two of them had stayed up more late than expected, doing all sorts of...catching up.

“They’re definitely your kids,” she reminded him, “but I’m just as glad as they are to have you home. I’m glad you’re home, my love.”

“As am I,” he whispered, “as am I. Endgame, remember?”

“Endgame.”

»»————-　♡　————-««

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sparrow-flies-south · 4 years

Text

Remus’s Guide To Mending Friendships [3/?]

Fandom: Sanders Sides Rating: Teen Pairings: Deceit & Virgil, Deceit & Virgil & Remus, Remus & Roman Warnings: Disturbing imagery (it’s Remus’s POV), imagined character death, kidnapping Summary: When he realises that Deceit misses Virgil, Remus decides that the best way to cheer him up is to persuade Virgil to come back to the dark side. Too bad Virgil hasn’t wanted anything to do with them since he left.

Part One Part Two Part Four AO3

Step Three: Seek Outside Advice

When it came to dealing with touchy-feely bullshit, one side was the clear expert.

He found Patton in the kitchen, pulling a tray of cookies from the oven. When he turned around, he startled and almost dropped the tray, but Remus caught it with a tentacle before it could hit the ground. Patton blinked at him from behind his glasses.

“Oh! Uh, thanks, Kiddo.” He hesitantly took the tray, and then tipped the cookies on to a wire rack.

They stared at each other.

“I was just about to decorate these,” Patton blurted. “I know, I should probably let them cool first, but I figured I could just cool them myself, you know.” He wriggled his fingers. “Did you, um, did you want to join me?”

Remus frowned. “Are you… inviting me to decorate cookies with you?”

That couldn’t possibly be right. Maybe it was a trick? But Deceit always said Patton hated lying.

Patton shrugged, blushing. “Sure? I mean, if you want to? You don’t have to, if you’re doing something. Which you probably are, for you to come up here. Uh, did you need something?”

Well, he wasn’t yelling at Remus to leave, which was… probably good. And he wasn’t accusing Remus of kidnapping Virgil (although, really, that was such a strong word). Maybe Virgil hadn’t told the others about what happened, whatever that meant.

“Why are you being nice?” Remus asked.

Patton frowned. “What do you mean?”

“You hate me. Why are you acting like you want me around?”

Patton looked away, fidgeting with the oven glove that he was still holding. “I don’t… approve of all of your ideas. Or all of the things you do. But you’re a part of Thomas. So why not try to make the most of it, you know?”

Remus didn’t reply. It sounded like Patton was resigned to Remus being around, which was better than nothing, but Remus’s chest felt like someone had scooped out his insides.

Patton frowned. “Kiddo? Are you alright?”

“How do you get people to be friends again?” Remus asked, because he didn’t know what else to say.

Patton looked surprised. “What do you mean?”

“Say two people used to be close – really close. But now they’re not. How do you get them to be friends?”

Patton hesitated. “There’s no one way. It depends on the situation.” He waved a hand and icing supplies appeared on the counter. “Here. We can talk and decorate.”

Patton selected a cookie and began icing it. After a moment of consideration, Remus picked up a person shaped one and grabbed the red icing.

“So, these people,” Patton said. “Do you know why they stopped being friends?”

“One of them found new friends. I guess he didn’t need the other person anymore.”

Patton frowned. “Well, I’m not doubting you, but it sounds like there might be more of it than that. Did you- I mean, did those people have a fight?”

Remus shrugged.

He didn’t know how the fight started. By the time he’d arrived, Virgil had yelling about how much better the light sides were, and how good it felt to be around them. The louder Virgil got, the quieter and colder Deceit became. Finally, Deceit had told Virgil that if he liked the light sides so much, he could live with them instead.

Even after Virgil had stormed off, Deceit still seemed to expect Virgil to come back.

“That can’t have been the only thing,” Remus said. “Otherwise he wouldn’t have left.”

Patton hummed. “Do you know why he felt he had to leave?”

Remus focused on decorating his man. “I guess the other one is just – hard to be around.”

“I’m sure that’s not true.” Patton scolded gently. “Maybe you should try to understand things from the other persons point of view. Have you tried talking to them?”

“Yes. I told him that he should come back. He didn’t want to listen.”

“Well, were you willing to listen to him?”

Remus hesitated. “So, what, if they just talked about how they feel it would fix everything?”

“Maybe not everything,” Patton admitted. “And not straight away. But it’d be a start. And – they probably want to fix things too.”

Neither Virgil nor Deceit seemed interested in talking, but maybe they just didn’t realise what they wanted. All Remus had to do was give them a push to talk to each other.

Remus grinned. “I think your right,” he said.

Patton shifted nervously at Remus’s smile, which had too many teeth. “Oh, good. I’m glad.”

“Here,” Remus said, and handed Patton the cookie.

Patton glanced down at it. Remus was proud of the job he’d done of it, and judging by the queasiness on Patton’s face, he’d got the entrails spot on.

“It’s very… creative,” Patton settled on, and Remus beamed.

“That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”

Patton’s face fell, even though there was nothing wrong. Maybe he just got sad sometimes, the way Remus sometimes got the urge to destroy something.

“We could do this again, if you wanted.” Patton offered.

“Yeah, maybe.” Remus said dismissively, because he didn’t want Patton to go around think he cared. “Thanks for the help.”

“Anytime, kiddo.” Patton smiled gently. “I really hope things work out for you.”

Remus sank out quickly. Because he was busy, of course. It had nothing to do with the way Patton’s smile made him feel all (ugh) gooey inside.

***

Remus tilted his head as he stepped back to admire the closet he’d created. It looked fine, but Remus couldn’t be sure. He’d thought the monsters were fine, too, but Deceit hadn’t like them. And who knew what Virgil liked, now that he’d been spending so much time around Roman. Probably princesses and unicorns.

“I should warn you,” a voice said, “I’ve made all the ‘coming out of the closet’ jokes known to man.”

Remus turned, and then froze. Roman stood behind him, his outfit perfect as always, though it did look out of place in Remus’s side of the imagination. He shifted uneasily from foot to foot, and one hand tapped nervously on his sword hilt. Scared of his big bad brother, then.

“Only the ones known to man?” Remus responded. “You must lack imagination.”

Strangely enough, Roman didn’t get offended. Instead, he seemed to relax, even going as far as to smile. He stepped forward until he stood next to Remus, their shoulders almost touching.

“It’s creepy,” Roman said, inspecting the closet.

Remus groaned. “I was going for inviting.”

Roman snorted. “Inviting for whom? The monster under the bed?”

“Like you could do better,” Remus shot back.

Roman tilted his head, his eyes narrowing with determination.

“All right then,” he said. He waved a hand, and a string of fairy lights lined the inside walls of the closet. After a moment’s consideration, cushions appeared on the floor to complete the look.

“I could do better if I knew who it was for,” Roman said, “But I think I did okay, don’t you?”

He was right. The closet now looked less like something from a serial killers murder house and more like a place where someone would go voluntarily. Still, it wasn’t like Remus could tell Roman that.

“It’s fine,” he said. “Could do with more severed body parts, though.”

“Strangely enough, body parts aren’t what most people would consider homely.” Roman didn’t seem disgusted. When Remus glanced over, he looked amused.

“What’s it for, anyway?” Roman asked.

“Trapping people inside,” Remus answered, and at the frown on Roman’s face, he added “For their own good!”

Roman shook his head. “I’m not going to ask, and that way no one can blame me.”

“Sounds like you’ve been taking lessons from Deceit.”

The two of them lapsed into silence. Remus shifted uncomfortably. Asking what Roman was doing here might break the fragile peace that was currently settled between them. It had been years since the last conversation that hadn’t ended with one of them stabbing or bludgeoning the other.

“I talked to Patton.” Roman looked fixedly at the closet as he spoke. “He mentioned you stopped by earlier.”

Something twisted in Remus’s gut, and he laughed bitterly. Of course. “So you came to warn me off.”

Why else would Roman be on the other side of the imagination? Remus should have expected it, but Patton had said he could stay.

“What? No. He said you were… behaved.”

Remus bared his teeth at Roman in a mockery of a grin. “Jealous? Don’t worry, darling brother; wet blankets aren’t fun to play with.”

Roman scowled. “Must you be terrible to everyone? I’m trying to have a nice conversation.”

“Nice isn’t really in my nature. That’s what you have the others for.”

“It could be, you know,” Roman pointed out.

“Pretty sure it can’t, actually,” he hissed. “You took all the nice with you parts with you; I’m just what’s left over. So let’s just go back to pretending the other one doesn’t exist. I’ll be much happier if I don’t have to think about you anymore.”

Roman took a step back, his jaw twitching. Remus wasn’t sure whether he regretted saying that or not. At least now maybe Roman would attack him. You knew where you stood in a sword fight.

“Fine,” Roman said, and were his eyes shining? That didn’t make any sense, Remus must be hallucinating.

“Clearly Patton was mistaken when he said you wanted to talk to me, so I’ll just…” Roman trailed off, and hunched his shoulders slightly. “Goodbye, Remus.”

And then Roman was gone. He’d left many times before, after arguments both physical and verbal, after Remus took things too far and he got fed up. Something about this time, however, seemed strangely final.

Remus shook himself. He had plans to make and friendships to mend. He didn’t need a brother.

He still kept the changes Roman had made, though. It was better than anything Remus could come up with, after all.

#sanders sides #remus sanders #sympathetic remus #patton sanders #roman sanders #remus's guide #my fic

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unboundbnha · 4 years

Text

hoooo my god. this is for ME

for me. for godzilla. :’)

➤ rules; make headcanons of you and a character of your choice, be it sfw or nsfw.

Thank you so much for tagging me @spicyness! I’m gonna SKAJHDSKJ. HHHHH. This is everything? Fuck I just want a purple boyfriend 😫 this will be about Shinsou because I like him a normal amount :-)

First off, I’m a pain in the ass. My sense of humor is wack (it’s basically just ‘annoy my friends and loved ones’), I’m always fricken TANKING The Mood (because it’s funny and I physically cannot resist making a Funny if the opportunity’s there), everything turns into a game unless you make me stop wink wonk. Shinsou seems like the type to snort in amusement and roll his eyes at my dumb antics, and I appreciate that! If I could make him legit laugh I’d die happy. (I am also emotionally savvy enough to know when to draw the line though, don’t worry. It’s just, man, my idea of fun is ‘LET’S ROAST ‘EM’)

I love cats. I’ll lose my whole mind over them. They NEED head kisses. Shinsou also likes cats. He also needs head kisses. That’s it, that’s the bullet point

Being open and honest and genuine is important to me. I believe most any relationship (friendship or otherwise) can work if you’re willing to communicate and empathize with the other person: I would 100% be willing to hear Shinsou’s shit, and he seems like he’d be a good listener too. I’m also good at logicking things through and he seems like he’d appreciate that. Likewise, he seems like he’d do the same for me, and as long as we stayed humble and weren’t looking to be offended (I don’t Do That -- he’s a Cancer -- love you, Cancers -- so it might take him a minute to get on the same page, but he’s emotionally smort and cares about me so I think he’d be willing to work at it) then we could help each other through emotionally hard stuff with hard truths. Plus, I’m a super honest person: if he was in a relationship with me he’d probably be pretty secure in knowing I wouldn’t hurt him on purpose. If past shit comes up with him, I’ll talk to him. Talking’s the good shit, y’all: utilize patience and empathy and you’ll be so well off!

I also battle, with a big fucking sword, a lot with mental health stuff (LMAOOOO WHO DON’T!!! YEET). I used to struggle with agoraphobia and still deal with anxiety and depression. On top of that, I have something like chronic fatigue -- I’ve been calling it chronic fatigue because I’m fucking tired, all the time. My top energy levels are like a 35% on a fantastic day. I really like the idea of this boye seeing me melting into a puddle, face down on the carpet, and bein like “how’s it going down there? you okay?” and the answer being obviously no, but him just like. Man I dunno. He seems like the kind of person who’s tired, but who can live with it. I can’t! When I’m tired, that’s it babes! I hit a 0% on my battery and I’ll collapse! So I just, hhhh. Don’t laugh, but I like to fantasize about him bundling me up and into bed. Thinkin’ about Birthday Snoot by my good friend @lord-explosion-baku and melting, okay?? OKAY???? I’m soft, the truth’s OUT, FUCK! I want to be taken care of like a sad but pampered cat.

(Please read Birthday Snoot I still cry over it)

Also I’m gross and struggle to shower often enough because it’s exhausting so bein given a gentle bath? oh MAN. Hands softly running through my stupid, terrible hair...asking me about my day and if anything happened that triggered me feeling this bad...just....the tenderness....the gentle affection.....being loved even when I’m at my lowest. Being cared for when I can’t do it myself. That’s a legit fantasy y’all. We out here!

I love to SNOOZE. I love being COZY. You bet your sweet bippy I’m gonna sprawl over a couch and take up the whole thing. Shinsou’d better be willing to snuggle the fuck up. I’ve got great squish which I personally feel like’s great for cuddling: I’m like warm taffy. How better to gently seep into every crevasse of your Favorite Person while enjoying a cozy cuddle?

Listen, everyone fucks hard with Shinsou calling his S/O ‘kitten’, and I agree (def have written leetle -- HOO -- leetle scenarios with that nickname because wow) but I get all wibbly with the idea of He calling me ‘Angel’. A joke at first because, like, guys, I’m really nice. (I know it sounds bad when people say they’re nice and LSDFLKJDF I AM, OKAY. I’ve worked on it. Cultivated the skill of kindness! Being kind isn’t easy, and sometimes you just wanna go apeshit, but I’ve worked hard to improve upon myself! Yeet!) But I also just really fucking love being annoying. I simply cannot resist the urge to sneak up behind someone and poke them in the ribs. I rib-poke while in the deep depths of making out too, I’ve tanked the mood a lot so picture my dumb ass Pink Panther’ing behind Shinsou, prepared to be Evil while he’s, idk, making breakfast or something, and before I can commit a Rib Crime he uses his hero training and fast reflexes and honed senses and all that good stuff to snatch my wrist and ask “what’re you up to, angel?” the answer is nothing, because he’s killed me by being sexy and fast and hero-y, and he’s probably actually killed me by startling me into collapsing like a fainting goat

He gets the deep stuff. Unfortunately for everyone and especially myself, I’m a Thinker with a capital T: it never fucking stops. I had an existential crisis for like three years in a row because of course, but I feel like he knows what it’s like to get lost in your head. Working each other out of panic attacks because holy jesus the universe sure is fucking huge huh? We’re not even a blip on the radar in the history of existence and we’re gonna be dead basically tomorrow aaaand that’s why we’d be good for each other, because I feel like we both have coping mechanisms that keep us from spiraling too bad, and we could share them with each other.

I also so fucking admire his drive, but it makes me angry that stupid fucking hero society would discriminate in the first place.

Oh, yeah, that’s another good point: I’m hella mad about 98% of the time and I work hard to hide it! Because innocent people don’t deserve to get yelled at! I feel like Shinsou’s smart enough to sense when I’m about to pop and he can be like “heyyyyy...you wanna talk this out constructively instead of getting into a public brawl?” and I’ll be like “NO but I’ll do it for you because I love you” and then we get pizza.

Because I’m fine and balanced and stuff, I made a quirk for myself if I was in the BNHA-verse, and basically I can get stronger at the expense of higher thinking skills and will turn into a weapon of mass destruction against whatever I’m pointing at (ugh, that’s so sexy. Fuck I wanna be a big spooky buff as shit monster thing), friend or foe, so Shinsou and I would work well in tandem because if I got too rowdy he could use his quirk and get me to calm down! Keep me from accidentally doing a murder! Nice!

Okay this is nsfw so if you’re under 18 DON’T READ IT. I’LL CALL YOUR PARENTS. GET OFF MY BLOG.

Relating to the point above, QUIRKPLAY. Mind control me into stuff I want to do but am too awkward to ask for, please and THANK you. Also, Shinsou’s a top. Gotta be, and thank god for it because I’m certainly not. I’m not happy about being a fucking bottom, because my first and most powerful personalty trait is ‘be as annoying as possible to the people you like; don’t let them tell you what to do.’ Can’t make it easy on myself, nope. Anyway, I want the appearance of being a top without the responsibility because damn, gotta be like, suave and shit. Gotta plan stuff. I don’t like that! I do that enough in real life and I don’t like it there, either! But whatever. I’m a brat and I feel betrayed by my coochie for it. But Shinsou’s a top and he’d tease me for being Fucking Terrible, and suddenly I wouldn’t be so mad at my coochie. She has her reasons.

I...like Shinsou for a lot of reasons, but a really big one, for sure, is that I feel like he can communicate about the important stuff. He likes to tease, but he knows when to be serious too. I’m really wack about being close and intimate with people and I have, hhh, special requirements to be able to sleep with them, and I feel like he’d both be able to respect AND honor that. Like, run through the rest of the BNHA boys with me here: would Bakugou be able to be completely cool, calm, and collected while still teasing, but knowing where to draw the line? Todoroki’s closer maybe, but he’s not as people-smart (which is also a big thing for me). Confidence (or at least the appearance of it when it’s important), respect, communication, listening and respecting what I ask for even if it seems wack -- Shinsou has that, and god is it attractive.

Also, mind control.

Also, his capture weapon.

Also you know this motherfucker is kinky as shit. Thank the good lord.

Also, sexy-slow makeouts with his long, nimble hands running up my outer thighs to squeeze my waist -- teeth on neck, stolen gasps of breath --

\\\\\\

I feel bad because all of this, fuckin, WALL of text is pretty much ‘this is what purble boy can do for me’ and I don’t say a lot I’d do for him, but if I got someone like him I’d go to the end of the earth for them. I may be a perpetually-sleepy bitch, but one of my best -- and worst -- character traits is my unwavering loyalty. I’ll be 110% down to kick anyone’s ass who insults him: he can fight his own battles, but he shouldn’t have to over some dumbass with a big mouth and a little brain. Making him smile and laugh, oof, be still my beating heart. Words of encouragement when life gets too much. Genuine thanks for his help, whatever it may be. Hugs, because we’re both touch-starved as fuck and he deserves gentleness, dammit. He doesn’t seem like his love language is receiving gifts -- more like quality time and words of affirmation? Maybe physical touch? -- but I’d still get him little things that made me think of him, that could help him in his day to day life or maybe just bring a smile to his face. We could rescue each other at social conventions, have dates to the humane society and play with cats. Support each other through our depression days, prove that even having a brain that’s mean to you sometimes doesn’t make you unlovable. Man, idk. The whole thing’s soft and makes my heart go doki-doki. Hitoshi Shinsou is an extremely good person and god damn I’d want to show him I appreciated him and existing at the same time as him. He deserves love and kindness. He deserves someone to kiss every knuckle of his hand. He deserves hugs in the kitchen and blankets being pulled over his shoulders when he falls asleep at the desk. He deserves only good things, and I’d be honored to give them to him.

HHHHH.

Okay! If you made it to the end of this, congratulations! You don’t actually get anything, but boy oh boy you have a lot of information about ME now! Aren’t you delighted? Heh. So! You tag people for this stuff, and I’m gonna tag @lord-explosion-baku, @bnhascribbles, @perpetual-bed-head, @russianonion, @weebsinstash, and last but certainly not least, @usernamekate94. Tell me about Monoma, Kate. Tell me.

#god this is a mess. anyway #I just! he's a good boy brent!!!! ;_;#self ship meme #author x character #I would feel embarrassed if I possessed the ability to feel embarrassed #I'm weak for one (1) man: so WHAT if he's fictional #I can daydream about giving him the hugs he deserves!!! AND I WILL

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