#did they die or did they survive and are just really fucked up and kept inside out of public
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DPxDC post A Glitch In Time
Secret twin with a twist
Vlad was invited to an annual charity gala
The Batfam invite him cause how he obtained his money and his company is hella sus but they can never find any evidence or someone that will spill
He recently adopted a son Dante/Dan he has no social media presence for a teenager that's sus and Barbara found his entire background was fake
Bruce sends Damian to do spying (make friends) with the teen since they're around the same age
"You must be Master's new son, Dante-"
Dan turns around
"It's Dan."
Damian is suddenly having a crisis
"akhi"
#batman#danny phantom#dpxdc#agit#can you imagine#damian thinks he's found his brother#but it's not the original brother#the angst#what did future dan do to his family when he was evil#if this is a damian that had to kill his own clones#what happened to his real brother#hell throw elle in the mix too#and the other failed clones#did they die or did they survive and are just really fucked up and kept inside out of public#you decide#everyone's not having a good time#dpxdc au
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Whenever I talk about the medical neglect and ableism I've encountered as a victim of the healthcare system, there's always some cockwaffle who feels entitled to come into my inbox and make the argument of "not all doctors" while talking about how "people like them" (because it's always someone in a field of medicine who does this) are doing their best and it's really hard because so many people fake being ill to get on welfare (Yikes), but like, yeah, obviously #not all doctors, because if all doctors were negligent, bullying scum bags, I'd be dead.
But here's the thing: while I truly believe that the majority of doctors are doing their best in a system stacked against them and their patients, their presence does not negate the mass harm caused by the bad ones. And there are far more bad ones than you realize.
Fuck, John Oliver literally did a segment on this last week:
youtube
Yes, the truly bad, malicious doctors are in the minority. Most are just horrifically burned out and fighting a losing battle against a system, killing both them and their patients through a lack of funding and resources and profound overwork.
But the malicious ones do exist, and they will go out of their way to harm patients who don't kowtow to them.
I almost lost my life because when I was in my early twenties, I told a doctor I didn't think she was listening to me, and I disagreed with her assessment of my mental health (she was not a mental health doctor, and I was there for heart palpitations and chronic pain). She retaliated by putting "non-compliant" in my file.
There was also a fun little "doesn't show respect" note too that lives rent-free in my head because I know I wasn't rude. I was polite. I just didn't agree with her, and my refusal to accept her off-handed comment that "you probably have bipolar or BPD" (again, I was there for heart palpitations and chronic pain) meant I was "refusing care."
I wasn't. I just refused to be slapped with a mood/personality disorder when I was there because I kept fucking fainting when I stood up.
(Spoiler alert: it was dysautonomia)
That "non-compliant" marker followed me around for years. It followed me across an ocean and effectively ensured that any doctor I saw was going to treat me like absolute dogshit because no one wants to help Difficult Patients. It wasn't until I was so undeniably ill, literally on the brink of death, that anyone helped me.
I'm alive because of a good doctor. And all the good ones that came after him because of him.
So, I know they exist. You don't have to tell me that.
But I really fucking need you to acknowledge the bad ones and that you're part of a system with a long, long history of abusing minorities and vulnerable people. I need you to acknowledge that because it's the only way we're going to survive this godforsaken nightmare and make things better.
So yeah, #notalldoctors, but if you feel the need to say that because someone talking about being literally left to die by the medical system hurts your feelings, I'm going to have to ask you to take a step back and ask yourself if you're going into medicine for the right reasons.
Namely: do you want to help people, even the "difficult" ones?
Even the ones who might disagree with you?
Even if they're on welfare?
Even if they'll never get "better" in a way that means "cured"?
Just a thought. But hey, what do I know. I'm just someone who experienced hemolytic anemia because doctors kept telling me I was anxious and needed to exercise more 🤷♀️.
#chronic health tag#medical abuse#medical neglect#medical#ableism#to all the good health care workers who follow me and leave supportive comments: I appreciate you so much#but you need to come get your fellow drs#and idk#give 'em a shake or something#Youtube
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Dick getting turned into a bunny and taking the opportunity to annoy the hell out of Slade. Slade knows its Dick, but not anyone else. So you see this big mean merc with a bunny perched on his shoulder.
Extended version on ao3
"I'm going to kill Constantine." Slade muttered to himself, dragging a hand down his face.
Dick – excuse him, Dick in a body of a fucking bunny – flicked one of his ears at him. He kept crunching happily at the carrot Slade gave him, giving Slade a blissful break from him running all over his safehouse. Of course Grayson's ADHD only intensified after getting turned into a fucking bunny.
It's been four days. Four fucking days and they still didn't have a way to turn Dick back into a human. So, what it meant was that for the past four days Dick had been annoying the hell out of Slade while having the time of his life himself. At this point Slade considered throwing him out onto the streets or just simply giving him away to the Bat but he didn't feel like bothering with the consequences of it (read: dealing with annoyed Grayson).
That still didn't mean he had to be happy about the whole thing.
"I hope you're aware that I'll make you pay for all of this when you're back to normal." Slade promised. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall. "I'm going to fuck stupid ideas out of you."
Dick dropped the carrot, his little nose twitching.
------
Slade had a job to do. He had a job to do that he couldn't put off any longer but he also had his boyfriend turned into a bunny that didn't want to stay in the safehouse like a good boy (that he very much wasn't). Dick actually bit him when he tried to lock him up in the bedroom so Slade didn't have any other option than take Dick with him.
"Behave." Slade growled out when Dick began running around the rooftop they were placed on, two buildings away from where his mark was sitting. "I will let you fall if you decide to jump off."
Dick sent him a look that ever in a bunny body Slade was able to recognize as No, you won't but he did calmed down just a bit. Slade sighed again but trusted him to not die and came back to preparing his rifle. It was a simple work, just scaring his target a little which was the only reason why he allowed Dick to come.
He was able to put up with a lot of things but he didn't think he'd be able to survive Nightwing trying to mess up his contract as a fucking bunny.
Thankfully, Dick didn't try anything stupid this time. He ran around the rooftop a few more times, obnoxiously happy just to be outside after a few days of being forced to stay in the safehouse and then he jumped onto Slade's back and curled there for a nap.
"That's a really awful place to be right now." Slade told him, aiming.
Dick ignored him. So, Slade pulled the trigger and didn't even feel bad when Dick fell off of his back from the recoil force.
------
"Fuck! Fuck, that's Deathstro-"
The thug cut off sharply, his gaze focusing on the bunny perched on Deathstroke's shoulder. His friends stopped, alarmed by the way he froze and looked towards Slade as well.
One of them began to laugh.
"Shut the fuck up!" The first one hissed, punching him strongly in the arm.
Slade watched it all happen in a bored fashion, though he was beginning to get annoyed really fast. Dick nosed at his cheek through the mask.
"Sorry, sorry, I can't-!" He covered his lips with a hand though he continued laughing, so hard that he threw his head back. "I just-! Look at him!"
"I-I would prefer not to..." The second one mumbled, subtly moving back.
Slade lifted a hand, the one without a gun, to stroke lightly Dick's fur. The move only made the thug cackle more heavily.
"He has a fucking bunny on his shoulder! That's so cute!"
"Um, for the record, Mister Deathstroke..." The second one spoke up again. He lifted his hands in the air, body tensing all over when Slade focused his gaze on him. "I think you can do whatever you want to do and that- that your bunny is very cute!"
"Thank you." Slade said.
And then he shot the laughing thug right in the head.
------
"Deathstroke! Stop right there!"
Slade sighed. He did it a lot since Dick got turned into a fucking pet and he knew that if Dick were able to speak he would be pointing it out for him every time. But he wasn't. He was sitting silently on Slade's shoulder, like he did everytime they went out now, and for how little he was he attracted a lot of attention.
So of course Batman's little sidekick had to notice him as well.
"Run along, Robin." Slade advised, pulling out his sword. Dick nibbled at his mask in warning. "This late kids should be already in bed."
Robin scoffed but before he came up with any answer, he noticed the bunny on his shoulder. His eyes narrowed.
"Where is that bunny from?" He demanded.
"None of your business, kid."
"Give him to me!"
Slade blinked. That one he didn't expect, though he supposed it wasn't that surprising. Dick told him how much of an animal person young Wayne was and about the little zoo he's keeping at the back of Wayne manor.
"No."
Damian's face twisted, as if he actually expected Slade to just hand over the bunny.
"Give him to me!" He repeated, as if that would somehow change Slade's mind. Really, the only thing that was missing from the picture was him stomping his feet like a child he was.
Slade huffed. "Why would I do that? I'm not letting you steal my bunny."
"Steal?!" Damian echoed, agitated. "I'm not-"
That's when Batman decided to show up as well. He jumped down onto the rooftop next to Damian, his boots making a soft thud as they hit the concrete and Dick's ears flicked at the sight of him.
"Deathstroke." He growled out before taking him in properly. He blinked a few times. "Is that a bunny on your shoulder?"
Slade could just sigh again.
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And that's how you begin to heal (and stop Catnap and Mommy Long Legs from killing each other at the hospital)
You were hurt. Not just emotionally, of course, you were pretty much dead inside for more than ten years at this point, but you were physically what anyone could only describe as "devastated". Your back ached with carrying the grabpack around for the last four days or so, you had broken three bones in your right hand, your arms and legs had almost been torn off at least twice, and, of course, the nasty cut from almost getting impaled.
Frankly, it was a surprise that you didn't just collapse the moment the first ambulance arrived. But if you did, then your newfound kids would have panicked, and the Prototype would have been really, really mad if there was another conflict just when you all thought this nightmare was finally over.
You were gently cradling Poppy in your lap when you saw the ambulance lights in the horizon. You had tried to prepare yourself for this moment since the end of the confrontation with the Prototype, but your heart was still almost breaking out of your body with how fast it was beating. And yet, you kept a calm exterior. Comforted an anxious Dogday, let Bunzo also take shelter in your lap, much to Poppy's dismay, even tried to distract Mommy Long Legs with a joke or two.
The cops arrived first. You had put yourself between them and the group of toys, trembling from head to toe. You didn't exactly know what exactly they were going to do, but Catnap's sudden apparition behind you made some of them shiver.
You calmed down the big feline as you approached the authorities. "These guys were trapped inside the factory", you calmly communicated. "Playtime Co. made them as experiments. They're organic, very hurt, and starving. Please put your guns away unless you want to startle any of those kids".
The man you that approached you had his eyes glued on the group, who, in turn, was staring back. Your thoughts went racing to the idea of Mommy Long Legs deciding to attack them in order to protect you or herself, and you immediately just gave him the bag full of paperwork you had found on your journey. He stared at the first paper, then quickly looked at the others, then simply said:
"What the actual fuck did Playtime got themselves into...?"
"Maybe try to leave a bucket close to you. Some of the things they did won't be good for your stomach".
The cop ignored you. Then the ambulances arrived, and all hell broke lose as your last remains of sanity and calmness fought a war in order to not die from the idea of any of the toys you had just rescued ending up attacking a doctor. You came back to the group, gently begged them to be patient and to please trust the humans dressed up like doctors, and to please remember these ones were there to help, not hurt, and to please stick to each other.
Then a mini huggy tried to bite a nurse. You called out for the little guy, who simply shrugged and approached Kissy Missy, headbonking her and begging to be close to her as the strange humans surrounded you.
An hour and a half later and everyone was at the hospital, trembling and anxious, and you were stuck with Catnap and Mommy Long Legs.
"C'mon, big boy", you called for the feline. "You can do it. Just let the nurse help you!"
Catnap hissed, loud and angrily, at both you and the man with the lotion for burn treatment. Long Legs was sitting close by, eye twitching and a smirk on her face as she watched the two of you.
"Why not?!"
"I can survive. I felt worse", he told you, eyes never leaving the nurse. "Now leave".
"Theo, weren't you the one who told the Prototype it was time for us to live instead of just survive?"
Catnap then looked straight at you, looking very unhappy. The growled again before, finally, offering one of his paws for the nurse.
"Don't try to pull any tricks. I know all of them".
"Like playing dead?", Long Legs chuckled. "Like what you did to me?!"
"And now, look at where we are. I have merely lost part of my ear. You, on the other hand..."
You sighed as Long Legs got up from her chair, hand on her missing arm: "Are you sad because Mommy scared you? Booh, booh, Mommy is so scary, Prototype! Please, help me destroy Mommy!"
"I learned how to hunt. You learned how to throw a tantrum".
"And Mommy never had to call Daddy for help when she was hunting!"
"If you two keep on like this I'll undergo cardiac arrest"
The two toys stopped hissing at each other to instead stare at you with wide eyes. You made a "hmph" sound, pointing at your own bandaged chest in order to further prove the point.
"See? I'm all hurt in there! If you two don't let the nurses and doctors treat you, then I'll be the guy needing treatment".
"No, no, nononono!", Long Legs dramatically gestured a half "X" sign with her single arm, quickly going back to just sitting on her chair instead of being all spread out. "You'll see how much of an excellent patient Mommy is, don't worry! I'll show you a good example!"
"...", said Catnap, growling quietly to himself as the nurse was finally able to treat him. "... I remember you going into disiciplinary confinement more times than I ever did".
"W h a t ?", Long Legs asked.
Catnap stared at the window, tail anxiously twisting. You merely melted in your own chair, staring at the serum next to you as it was slowly trying to make your body feel better again. The nurse kept on with his job, and the TV kept on playing an episode of Pingu.
They even had disciplinary confinement, uh?, you thought, not impressed in the slightest, the memory of having to hold Long Legs in your arms so she would let the doctor examine her passing through your mind.
Catnap and MLL were now staring at the TV, little Pingu entertaining them. Poppy was asleep in another room with Bunzo, Kissy and Huggy, while both Miss Delight and Dogday were undergoing more serious medical procedures for their "conditions". The other toys were being examined, and, if everything went well, would soon return to you. And Prototype was doing his job back at the factory at making sure no one would find the how tos of transforming a person into a toy...
You closed your eyes, feeling true relief for the first time in your life.
Maybe, just maybe, after all of this was said and done, you could all live together as one big family. That was what Poppy suggested, at least, and the other toys seemed happy with the idea. And also maybe, also just maybe...
You could finally feel free from all this guilt
---
Oh, dear, this was harder to write than I thought, but it was a blast! I didn't proofread anything but I'm open for more requests regarding my own take on "Angel saves everyone"! And if you enjoyed this, please check out my commission info - it's all in my pinned post at ! garcavisconde! Thank you! <3
#poppy playtime#catnap#dogday#mommy long legs#poppy playtime au#save everyone au#poppy worldwide#my writing tag
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ఌ 𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐃
꧁ 𝙊𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙞𝙣𝙖𝙡 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙭 𝙢𝙖𝙡𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧 ꧂
Teaser ➤ the day he fell in love with his big booty himbo <3
Word count › 894
Rating › NSFT
Warnings › Yubin a perv
Kinks › none
╭┈─────── ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-
╰┈─➤ ＢＥＧＩＮＮＩＮＧ
Choi Yubin was an outcast. At least in popular spaces. He had a few friends in his music club but if they hadn’t enjoyed music like him, would they even talk to him?
Most likely no…. He knew he was a bit weird: didn’t talk much, answered in short sentences, and even cute girls talking to him didn’t get his shell to crack.
But he was fine being the weird good looking nerd that kept to himself.
He needed only one friend, Kim Bora. She was way hotter than him—by the amount of notes she got in her locker in home room. But she never got a boyfriend.
Or girlfriend, Yubin wasn’t sure if she liked anyone really.
“Bin, pass the ball.” Bora said, pointing to the ball that had rolled down to his feet. Yubin hates gym class so he stayed in the back with other kids who didn’t want to play. He huffed but pushed the ball back to whoever was playing.
“You’re so out of it.” Bora laughed, a grin on her lips. “See someone catch your eye?” She jokingly looked around but knew it wasn’t true.
Yubin hated almost all of his classmates. All they wanted to do was talk about their looks or something else he didn’t give too shits about.
Oh well, he just had to survive another school day.
He glanced down at his shoelaces for the third time today. It was more interesting than whatever his classmates were doing.
“Oi!”
He wanted to die so bad.
“Oi!!!”
Mmh, what should he have for dinner?
“YUBIN!!!”
Yubin looked up and cursed. A ball came straight for his head and knocked him square in his nose. He swore he heard a crack as he fell to the ground with a shriek that Bora would forever bully him for.
At the nurse, the clinic nurse didn’t do much. Gave him an ice pack right before pushing his nose back in place. It was painful. He screamed.
Never again.
He was allowed to leave school so he had texted his grandmother to meet him at the train station. Just as he was about to leave, the door to the nurse’s office opened and he saw something magical in front of him.
Yubin wasn’t sure who the hell he was but he wanted to know everything about him.
Tanned skin, jet black hair parted in the middle with a few longer strands getting into his eyes a bit. Double eyelids that resembled that thing Bora mentioned about people looking like animals.
Yeah, this guy looked like a puppy. The guy was buff, way more than the average student should be. He was still in his gym clothes. A tight white shirt stuck to his chest showing an outline of abs and boobs.
Yes, boobs!
A slim waist. And the most pouty lips he ever saw.
Yubin opened his mouth to speak. Wondering what the hell this guy was in here for but he looked at him.
And he smiled.
Holy fuck someone other than Bora smiled at him!!!
“Yunwoo!”
That wasn’t his name but he’d take it!
“I’m so sorry.” He said, walking over to hand him a bag of rice snacks. How the fuck did he know he liked them?!? Yubin looked at him as if he was an angel above.
“Sorry for what…?” He mumbled, remembering he couldn’t just stare at the guy.
“The ball. I had hit it too hard. If you want anything else, I’ll give it to you! I heard your nose was broken.” He looked so guilty. His lips were jutted out into a pout while his doe eyes looked down.
Yubin wanted him to look like that everyday. He made sure to use his jacket to cover his growing erection and simply nodded.
“It’s fine. It wasn’t on purpose.”
“Ah,” the guy smiled. Ah he loved this look as well. “I’m Yim (Name).”
Yim? Oh, it was close to Yubin! It was fate!! Yubin was just thinking out of his ass but he promised himself that he would make this random guy his boyfriend.
“Get home safe, Yunwoo.” (Name) said.
“Yubin….” Yubin muttered but (Name) was already gone.
Well, that’ll be the first thing he does when wooing (Name)… getting him to know his actual name.
𝄞
Yubin knew he was nasty. Perverted really. Who meets someone random and suddenly jerk off to them?
Choi Yubin, that’s who.
Groans left his lips as he rubbed his cock in his bedroom. He was still dressed in his gym clothes—having just rushed into his room. His grandmother was surely confused but she didn’t say anything.
Yubin was surprised in himself at how quick he was about to cum. The thoughts of (Name)’s lips around his cock. His doe eyes staring up at him as he sat on the ground as he cried on his cock.
“(Name)…” he grunted as he came into the napkin nearby. Yubin threw it into a trash can underneath his desk and stared up at the ceiling.
God damn, what a pervert he was.
His mind went back to (Name), thinking back onto his boobs. The white shirt that stuck to his wet tanned skin. He hummed to himself, imagining (Name) fucking himself on his cock.
Yubin glanced down at his twitching cock.
Ah, he had a few more rounds in him.
╭┈─────── ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-
╰┈─➤ ＥＮＤ
Perverted Yubin is back!
His first post was way more popular than I thought!!
I have three other characters that I’ll publish their meet cutes soon next week!
Requests for Yubin are open if you got any ideas for him 🤭
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Replaced AU but the Replacement keeps fucking up and Mc has to save them
Lucifer:
the new Human who got accepted into the exchange program is a plaque for Lucifer and they are lucky that he isn´t allowed to kill them
not only did they ruin his paperwork with horrible coffee, mixed everything up that he owns and thought the could bad mouth his Human
he even tried to get Mc to get ride of the new Human and as much as he hates to admit this is they only time he appreciates their more vicious behavior
but no they one time he allows Mc to go crazy they try and talk him down about it
but they did talk Diavolo into maybe sending them back a bit sooner rather than later
Lucifer didn´t anticipate diplomacy but as long as they are gone and he has to deal with only one Human than he doesn´t care, he might even thank Mc for this
Mammon:
the only reason Mammon tolerates the new Human is because they occasionally give him something valuable, otherwise? they can die for all he cares
if it wasn´t for Mc, Mammon would have sold them to the highest bidder he could find
but Mc wanted to spend time with him so this put a dent in this plan and they helped him with his latest scam which at least got him a bit more money which also made it easier for him to ignore the new Human
also Mc told him he´ll be in some serious trouble if Lucifer found out that he sold the new Human which is kinda something that stops him
also Mc promised him to spend even more time with him if he leaves them alone
Leviathan:
he was ready to die I mean who does this normie think they are!? there are reasons why he doesn´t want to leave his room and it´s to keep normies like them away!
his only savior is Mc who either chases them away or managed to barricade his room Door, he would have died without his Henry or rather he would have probably drowned the Human or made Lotan eat them
and every time they tried getting closer to him the worse they made it, they even managed to destroy all of his figurines the first time they got into his room, they were really lucky Mc was around or they were dead!
actually he is surprised they survived because Mc did throw the new Human down the stairs
Satan:
it took everything he had to not turn the new Human into a bloody pulp for even daring to touch his books
it only got worse when they tore out a page out of one he doesn´t care if they did it on accident or on purpose
but they narrowly avoided death in the form of Mc sending him a picture of their favorite Cats newborn kittens and telling him to hurry up
he was faster gone than the new Human could see and if they were stupid enough to try and stop he would have surely thrown them out of the window but fortunately for him they had some slight survival instincts
they obviously kept trying to bother him but they managed to only catch him when Mc was around and they were friendly enough to distract him from the new idiot
Asmodeus:
usually he doesn´t mind his adoring fans to getting a bit handsy with him, but the new Human? first they go to far for his taste and second he absolutely despises them
he would have loved nothing more than to use his Charm ability to get ride of them, he could have also easily just tore them to pieces himself bit they wouldn´t be worth the effort
he obviously knows Mc only does this so he doesn´t kill the new Human but he can´t complain if it means there is more one on one time with Mc~
even if that means he isn´t allowed to teach this disrespectful Human a lesson
Beelzebub:
he would have happily eaten them for not only bothering him during his Fangol games but also their constant complaining over him eating so much or always wanting food
but he got Mc to keep talking him to not eat the new Human or always offering him their snacks and food
which did help in him not murdering the newcomer or just eating them alive
didn´t help with his his hatred towards them though, the worst thing is not Mc trying to keep their sorry ass alive despite hating them too but them being rude towards Mc!
being rude towards him he can accept but Mc or his Brothers is a death sentence
he hopes that Mc can send them back to the Human realm soon otherwise they´ll be back to only having Mc around and the other Human disappearing under mysterious circumstances
Belphegor:
they keep waking him up with useless questions and complain about him only sleeping, if Mc wasn´t there to hold him back he would have strangled them and feed their corpse to Beel
Belphie even goes out of his way to get ride of them, which means he tries to distract Mc and lure the new Human into an empty spot
but no matter what Mc keeps finding him and dragging him somewhere else or Mc get´s one of his Brothers to take him away
Mc even let´s him sleep in their room in hopes of him not harming the new Human until the current exchange program is done and they are sent back home forever
Mc just hopes Belphie can keep himself back until then
#obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me imagines#obey me headcanons#obey me lucifer#lucifer avatar of pride#mammon avatar of greed#obey me mammon#leviathan avatar of envy#obey me leviathan#obey me satan#satan avatar of wrath#obey me asmodeus#asmodeus avatar of lust#beelzebub avatar of gluttony#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor#belphegor avatar of sloth
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Put On a Brave Face | Joel Miller x Reader
summary: Joel Miller almost loses you the same way he lost his baby girl.
warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, blood/gore, standard tlou stuff, reader gets shot, graphic descriptions, kinda softer!Joel so a little OOC
a/n: I got this idea and honestly idk if i like it that much but im posting this anyways. Also this is for the besties who would be absolute crybabies if they got shot bc that is 100% me lmao. I get a papercut and im in tears fr.
The universe must really hate Joel Miller. For all the shit it’s put him through, it just has to add more. It’s not his fault, something that you really really hope he understands. He heard the gun fire but it sounded like white noise. He didn’t feel any pain so he knew it didn’t hit him.
A blur of gun fire and the men around him are dead. Jackson was mostly a safe place but lately there’s been a gang of people who were attempting to infiltrate the commune.
They were easy work for Joel, he wasn’t thrilled that you tagged along on patrol but he trusted you and if he had to have someone he’d pick you to watch his back.
If only he paid a little more attention.
It was like a punch straight to the gut. You felt a sudden pressure as you shot at the bandits. You were too busy focusing on keeping Joel safe to notice you had been hit by a stray. When the chaos stopped is when the pain set in.
Everything feels fuzzy. Like something ain’t quite right. And everything was hot. It’s the middle of winter but it feels like your whole body’s on fucking fire. An ache starts to burn in your stomach, you set your hand on it without thinking. Only to be met with a red stained hand.
“J-Joel?” His world stops.
Panic claws at his heart as it beats louder and louder in his ears. He turns around to face you. Sweat runs down your face, a small smile on your lips as you try and stay calm for both your sakes. His eyes fall to your stomach and that's when he sees it.
One of the bullets from their gun went clean through you. The blood, there’s already so much of it.
“Joel.” You whimper as you fall to the ground. Staying upright becomes the least of your worries as it becomes harder to breathe.
You’ve lived through twenty years of this shit and yet this is the first time you have ever been shot. Those who survived always said it’s either nothing or the worst pain in the world. Joel’s been shot before.
You were there once. The bullet went into his arm and it was awful trying to get it out. He was strong as hell though. Kept his calm and walked it off a few days later.
You always admired how strong Joel was. Not just in the physical sense but he always seemed to be calm even in the worst situations. Maybe it was all a show. But right now you wished you could do the same.
You wish that you could look up at him and tell him you were okay and crack a joke but you can’t. It hurts so bad, it’s burning and pain is tearing through your whole body.
“I got you baby.” Joel falls next to you. He tosses his gun to the side and wraps you in his arms. One hand under your back to try and get you upright.
“It’s okay, it’s gonna be okay.” He wants to puke. A sob crawling its way up his throat.
“It hurts!” You cry, clawing at his shirt. Fingers digging into the soft fabric of his flannel.
“Joel!” It breaks his damn heart to hear you cry out in such pain.
“I know, fuck I know baby.” Jackson isn’t far and right now it’s your only hope.
“I’m sorry.” He mumbles as he stands you up and irritates your wound. Your scream makes him flinch. It’s raw and full of fear and so much pain.
Why couldn’t it be him? Why did it have to be you?
“Please, please I don’t want to die Joel.” The words tumble out of your mouth without thinking.
“Please please.” You bury your face into Joel's chest as he half drags and half carries you to the gates of Jackson.
“I don’t want to die!” You wail loudly and Joel tightens his grip on you. It’s pure agony. Every minor step or bump sends waves of pain through you.
“You’re okay, we’re so close, baby, just a few more steps.” Joel closes his eyes as you cry out for him.
It’s a sickening sense of deja vu. Bleeding out in his arms by a bullet he didn’t see. He needs to focus. It feels cruel but he has to zone out. The gates are so close and that’s all that matters.
“Help!” Joel screams till his throat is raw as he gets closer. The gates open too damn slow as someone rushes out to help. Together they bring you inside the walls and rush you to the doctor.
“What the fuck happened?” Joel tenses up when he sees Ellie running towards him. A panicked look on her face. Worry written all over her face when she sees you being carried in.
“Joel?!” She tries to run in but Joel grabs her arms.
“Stay outside.” He commands, not wanting Ellie to witness you in such a bad state.
“Fuck no!” She tries to push past him but he’s stronger than her. Your pained scream makes Ellie stop fighting, tears welling up in her eyes.
“Don’t worry.” he says unconvincingly as he turns and runs into the room. You’re lying on a table, your shirt already torn so they have access to clean the wound. Joel rushes to your side and grabs your hand.
“I’m here baby.” He brings your hand to his lips and lets you squeeze it tight. The medic opens a bottle and looks at Joel before pouring some of it onto your stomach.
“FUCK!” You seethe and try to squirm away but someone holds you to the table.
“Make it stop! Please!” Sobbing, you squeeze Joel's hand as tight as you can.
“Joel please! It hurts so bad!” Your vision is blurred by the tears and the tiredness that your body feels right now but you can still make him out.
You can’t leave him, you can’t die. It hurts more than the bullet did as they start to patch you up. Spots of black cover your vision and you start to cry more, you just want Joel to hold you and make it better. Your eyes flutter closed and you feel a hand tapping harshly on your cheek.
“Stay with me baby, come on.” Joel opens your eyes and in pure panic snaps at the medic.
“DO SOMETHING!” Joel is an intimidating force but right now he’s utterly helpless.
“We’re doing everything we can.” The medic says calmly. Keeping your eyes open becomes too hard, you just want to sleep.
“No no, come on. Wake up!” His voice fading out as darkness and peace consumes you.
- - -
Two centimeters. According to the medic you were two centimeters away from dying. The bullet entered and nearly missed a major artery. If it had hit you there then you would have been dead in minutes.
You’re lucky to be alive.
It doesn’t feel lucky. It feels like shit. You’re stuck at home while on recovery and with Joel as your caretaker that meant you couldn’t even leave. After the doctor left he took one look at you and you know there’s no argument here.
When you woke up Joel was there. He wouldn’t tell you much. Just that you were shot and that you were okay. He doesn’t think you remember much of anything after the bullet hit. But you do. Somehow you remembered everything up until you passed out and all you could feel now is guilt.
You wished you were stronger. That you didn’t scream and cry for him to help you even though you know he couldn’t. There’s nothing he could have done and you made it worse. You weren’t in the right headspace but it felt cruel to beg for him to save you after everything.
After...Sarah. He doesn’t talk about much. He opened up to you once in the middle of a sleepless night. You don’t know every detail but from what he told you, you put a few pieces together.
Shot by a soldier with a bullet that should have hit him instead.
A situation that felt too similar to this one. How could you do that to him? How could you look him in the eyes after all of this? Being in recovery meant you couldn’t do your chores so Joel took them. Great, first you remind him of his dead daughter and now you’re making him work even more. At least Ellie was here. She rarely left your side.
“A book just fell on my head, I only have my shelf to blame.” Ellie looks up from her pun book with a smile. It’s just after dinner and Joel still isn’t home. So she has taken it upon herself to be your entertainment.
“That's four outta ten.” You say and she rolls her eyes.
“No way that one was funny.” She flips the page and reads another one.
“Okay okay, you wanna hear a joke about pizza?” Resting your face on your hand you nod.
“Sure.”
“Nevermind, it was too cheesy.” You snort and she laughs.
“Alright, that one is pretty good.” She punches the air in success. You notice her eyes keep darting down to your side where the bandages are.
“You know Maria told me about the school sleepover, bunch of kids your age are going.” You say and Ellie shrugs. It makes you feel guilty that Ellie’s here and not out with people her own age.
“I don’t know, not really my thing.” She’s lying. You know she is. That girl she’s grown quite close to will be there and you don’t want to stand in the way.
“I’ll be okay Ellie, I want you to go and have some fun.” She looks hesitant but after a little bit of pushing she caves. Hugging you tight before leaving.
Sighing you try and get comfortable on the couch and wait for Joel. He comes back late. You must have fallen asleep because next thing you know you’re being shaken awake. Joel's tired eyes stare at you, only meeting them for a second before looking somewhere else.
“Where’s Ellie?” He asks.
“Sleepover.” You answer sleepily.
“You shouldn’t be sleepin’ on the couch. It’s not good for you.” You hold back a laugh as you recall the many times you’ve found Joel passed out on the couch. You try to sit up but you move too fast. Squeezing your eyes shut as you feel a sharp pain in your stomach.
“Careful,” He places a hand on your back to steady you. Silently he guides you upstairs to bed. He’s given up the extra pillow and blanket to make you as comfortable as possible.
“Coming to bed?” You ask hopefully as he helps you in. He shakes his head and your face falls.
“I will soon.” He kisses your forehead before turning out the light.
He hasn't slept easy since the incident. He knows you’re alive. In his brain he sees you breathing and talking but sometimes when he closes his eyes he can only see you lying on that table.
He comes to bed a few hours later. Being as quiet as he can so he doesn’t wake you, but you aren’t asleep. The guilt has been eating you alive for days now. You put him through so much and now you feel like dead weight. He’s pulling away to protect his heart and it’s killing you. You know he’s asleep when he starts to snore. He swears he doesn’t but he does.
Carefully you throw the blankets off, resting the extra one back on him. The floor underneath creaks with every step. Sleep isn’t coming and you need a drink. Opening the cabinets you see the bottle of whiskey all the way in the back of the top shelf.
“Dammit Joel.” You huff as you blindly reach to the back.
It’s just out of reach and you feel anger start to seep in. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a glass of whiskey. You should be able to do this without anyone's help. Pain starts to blossom in your stomach as you put one knee on top of the counter and stretch the stitches. When you finally wrap your fingers around the neck of the bottle you feel your foot slip.
Glass shatters on the ground around you as you land hard on your back. You let out a whimper of pain as you sit upright and look at what you’ve done. Shards of glass surround you and the amber liquid pools on the floor. Heavy footsteps come running down the hall. Joel looks frantic as he holds his gun out, looking around for intruders. When his eyes land on you, you look down in shame.
“What the hell happened?” His voice booms and you feel like crying.
“I-I’m so sorry. I just. I thought I could..” Without thinking you reach to clean the glass.
“Stop!” He kneels down and grabs your hands before they can touch the glass. He doesn’t say a word as he cleans the shards of glass. You could feel how angry he was.
“Wanna tell me what was so important?” He crosses his arms and stares down at you.
It’s like you're a little kid being scolded for stealing a cookie. You feel angry and sad and so guilty and your stomach really hurts. Digging your nails into your knees you start to cry. Small sniffles snowball into sobs that make your whole body shake.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” It’s all you can say as you bury your face into your hands.
“Baby..” Joel’s voice is softer than you’ve ever heard it. He falls to his knees and wraps his arms around you. Tears shining in his eyes as he feels you tremble in his touch.
“I-I’m so sorry.”
“Shh, what are you sorry about?” He rubs your back and closes his eyes.
“I remember everything Joel, W-When I got shot. Fuck the things I said.” You bury your face into his chest as a fresh wave of tears fall. They just won’t stop.
“What are you talkin’ about?” He gently pushes you back so he can see your face. Wiping those tears from your cheeks.
“I shouldn’t have..I made it so much worse.” He’s confused. Really confused.
“Baby, There’s nothing to be sorry for,” He runs his thumb across your bottom lip, heart cracking as he looks into your broken eyes.
“I begged you to save me when there was nothing you could do.” He grimaces at the memory of your painful cries, but you were dying and you were scared. He could never hold that against you.
"I wanted to be strong for you but I couldn’t a-and I hurt you." You rip his hands off of you and curl into a ball.
“It's not your fault baby. None of it.” He rests his hands on top of your knees. It baffles him that you think any of this is your fault.
“You were in so much pain. " His voice cracks slightly and it gets you to lift your head.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you baby.”
“Joel…” You start but he silences you.
You never should have been in that position in the first place but it's not about him right now. He gently pulls you into his lap, hugging you tightly. He closes his eyes, feeling your heartbeat.
“I shoulda noticed sooner. I..." He stops himself from going down that path.
"You’re so strong baby. You fought like hell and didn’t give up.” You don’t say anything. The guilt is still there but it won’t go away anytime soon.
You’re living in a fucked up world and you’re just two fucked up people trying to survive. And somehow you survived.
“Can we go back to bed?” You ask softly, tired from the crying.
There's more to say but its too late now. Tomorrow Joel will tell you over and over that it's not your fault. He'll tell you every damn day until you believe him. He’ll pray for your forgiveness for putting you in danger, for letting you get hurt and you’ll read him like a damn book and tell him it’s ridiculous. Maybe then you’ll both realize their’s not guilt to be had on either side.
Watching you bleed out on that table, it really did remind him of the day he lost Sarah. That fear and pain never really goes away but right now he can hold you in his arms and feel your heart. He can see your eyes and hear your voice. That’s all he needs right now. He’s not going to lose you. Ever.
So god help anything that stands in his way.
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greetings from clown anon, adored the fic very silly <33
i apologise if i’m filling up your inbox but may i ask for an mc that’s a mortician? that or is just desensitised to death and knows a lot about it, like i imagine whenever the brothers in early season 1 used to do like very specific threats mc would be like “uh actually that’s not how that works” essentially acting like a bit of a smart ass completely glossing over the actual threat
thanksies in advance (´∀｀*)
Clown Anon MCs - [ Clowncore MC | Death-Fixated Science Geek MC | LeVeyan Satanist MC ]
(I'll be real I have no memory of the specific threats and I was too lazy to go look for them but I will follow along the lines of the prompt anyway.)
I'm going to do this one in bullet point form. Hope that's okay.
(CW: a bit gross at times. not quite gore.)
Now I Am Become MC, Destroyer of Worlds: A Death-Fixated Main Character in Obey Me!
Read below the cut.
They're extremely curious about demon anatomy. And not in a kinky way. They want to see how similar the structure and layout of demon organs are to human organs. They want to get full body X-rays when those wings and tails pop up. They want to get it on video when they appear and disappear. Because what the fuck. Yeah, yeah, they get it, magic exists, but still, what the fuck?!
They fully expect Beel to keel over and die one day from overeating. There is no way any single individual can consume the way he does and survive. They're actually hoping that if he does, they'll be able to carry out the post-mortem and see what exactly was going on with that stomach of his. I mean, yes, they'll be very sad he's gone, but at least he'll have died as a martyr to science!
Dead shadow hog? Taxidermied. Dead fire newt? Taxidermied. Dead devil zebra? Brought home, dissected, taxidermied. The brothers don't really like to go to their room because of the constant dizzying stench of formaldehyde that comes from it.
Sometimes they'll just sit and stare at one of the brothers. If asked what they're doing, they'll simply say, "Observing." Reactions to this range from Beel's "Oh, okay," to Levi's "I'M GOING TO MY ROOM AND NEVER LEAVING FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE."
So Solomon's immortal, is he? How immortal, exactly? Is it just that he'll never die from old age? Could he die of a disease? Surely he could die from injuries, right? Has he tested this? Can they test it? Please?
....Please?
Wait, wait, wait. Satan came from where? How? Why? What the hell? Lucifer, take your shirt off, they need to do some investigating. Satan, you too. Lucifer, show them your back. No scars? Not even from ripping your own wings off? Hm. Satan, do you have a bellybutton? ...That's weird, you definitely didn't need an umbilical cord. And you're saying he came out full-sized? Stop telling them it's magic! Magic is just science that people don't understand yet.
Actually, all of you get in here and strip, this has been a long time coming. MC needs to figure out what the hell is happening here.
Why not?
Pleeeease?
Satan, let's talk about one of your murder mysteries! They do this exactly one time, and never again because MC kept interrupting to point out plot holes and inconsistencies. It was so annoying. It kind of ruined the genre for him for a little while.
Leviathan, MC wants to ask you about how you survive underwater. Levi--- Hey, where are you going? Levi?
They write their paper on comparative anatomy of demons, angels, and humans. Diavolo gets a little queasy after the first page and gives them an A. He doesn't want to read the rest, he trusts they did a thorough job.
#obey me#obey me hcs#dthc#hcs#obey me headcanons#obey me mc#ask response#clown anon#this turned into science geek without a filter mc but i think it still works#none of the brothers are dating this one#nope#no thanks#they'll pass#obey me lucifer#obey me levi#obey me satan#obey me beel#obey me solomon#obey me diavolo#lucifer#levi#satan#beel
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i. so 2 days ago, i think i almost got kidnapped.
ii. there's this line in mitski - okay, so i'm a stereotype but - she says i've been big and small. sometimes i think she means physically. and sometimes i think she means like how it feels small to be alone in a grocery store.
iii. i'm babysitting my brother's dog. my dog is much bigger than his; goblin's 70 pounds and comes up to my hip. but his dog (an australian shepherd) - she's tiny. like 30 pounds or something.
iv. i called my sister before i called the cops. it felt like a big move to call the cops. i didn't like doing it, either. i felt like, embarrassed this happened.
v. it was getting dark, right. and the rain had really started in earnest. and we were coming off a trail we'd seen a guy on, deep in the woods. this white unmarked panel van was just sitting there, at the trailhead, lights on, engine on. i had to squeeze past it to get to my car. i kept telling myself - this is fucking stupid to be freaked out by. it's just a guy. it's just a van. it's not a movie. move along.
vi. sometimes i think about those chain emails that used to go around. you know, the ones with "survival tips for women" in them. in the age of the internet, where did all of those go? where is the masterlist of holding your keys in your fist? did anyone print that up and put it on their wall. do they sleep beside it.
vii. the van started to move while i put the dogs in the car. very slowly, he turned and backed up so he was blocking me in. i felt my heart racing. the rain was in my eyes. he opened his front door, just stuck a foot out. my brother's dog immediately freaked out. i had to physically restrain her. he closed his door. i got into the car with the dog, through the passenger side. i locked everything. the van stayed behind me for a little bit. when he finally left, i found him parked at the edge of the road. he waited for me to turn, and then followed me for a few intersections.
iix. i just couldn't stop thinking - this isn't real. this isn't something that happens. you're making this a bigger issue than it needs to be. this is the way it would play out if you were on tv. i didn't want to be that person, you know? jumping at shadows. freaked out about nothing. you know, a hysterical woman.
ix. my friends and i joke over dinner that i would be the first to die in a horror movie. then we go around and assign death warrants - who dies first, who is the serial killer. there are times in my life i have been jokingly folded to fit into the trunk of a car. every time someone picks me up, even in a friendly way, i have the sudden, horrible thought: oh. i couldn't really stop this from happening if things got too far. that feels small and big all-at-once. like breathing in glass particles.
x. i didn't get the license plate. the cops were not helpful. i didn't really expect them to be, but i didn't want anyone else to get hurt, just-in-case something bad would have happened. not that i get to assume something bad would have happened. it feels small and stupid. i feel like an idiot. what if calling the cops causes more hurt than good? maybe calling them was foolish. the first thing i said when they picked up was - uh, so i don't really know if this is a big deal or not but i think something weird just happened.
xi. in the last 48 hours i have gone to work and done my laundry and walked the dogs some more. i didn't even bring it up with my therapist. on the phone with the police officer, she said - you're actually being very calm about this. it is just something that can happen, i guess. i think i'm probably not the only person walking around with something that should-be-big rattling around inside of them. since nothing did happen, i don't really get to be upset. bad things have happened to me. i am statistically speaking extremely lucky.
xii. sometimes i think about all the diary pages that exist. and all the places where people hide the things that are too horrible to look at, even if it's a memory. it feels big-and-small to know that my diary knows the worst of me. it feels big to know someone else probably has the same diary. like - ha! same trauma. how endearing. i told my sister - well this is just part of being femme presenting isn't it.
xiii. on wednesday i saw a bunch of warblers and last night i had a dream about a girl with red hair. that felt big. that felt poetic. it's thursday today. i almost got kidnapped on a tuesday. in between the rest of me, i have no idea where to fit that moment.
poem where everything is true unless it makes you uncomfortable and then of course it's all made up for attention // r.i.d
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RIP General Grievous, you would have loved Order 66 lol
No, but for real. “Grievous survives” fic writers, you’re awesome.
Don't deny that he has committed atrocities upon the galaxy that will take generations to even begin to heal & in numbers unheard of in recent history. Grievous did not care. His job was to inconvenience the Republic for as long as possible & to kill Jedi. And holy shit did he ever. Maybe he considered himself already dead & this dumbass war was just a really fucked up bonus level. (& brother, I’m zerg rushing it)
Grievous was operating on the bastardized values of his people kept together by rage & steel, stuck in Sith 1 & Sith 2’s fucked up mind games. He hated the Separatists. Unfortunately for the rest of the galaxy, he hated the Republic more. Maybe he oscillates wildly between the thrill of battle & befuddled emptiness, making him a contrary bitch that no one bothers trying to deal with.
But lord help Palpatine if General Grievous ever figured out that he & Sidious were one & the same. The sheer amount of indignant rage would be like a lens of clarity he hadn’t managed since becoming a cyborg. This?? Single human man? Broke apart the galaxy so he could be the one to fix it? The known universe will remember me only in cold blooded fear. I was stripped of my culture, my agency, my FLESH so that this LITTLE OLD COLONY WIZARD can sit in his big boy chair???
Mr. Psycho Martyr? His petty ass would tell everybody. He would make his superiors’ lives a living hell. If they didn’t immediately push the Cyborg Emergency Kill Button (canon), how do you stop this pissed off war machine that YOU made to be unstoppable & YOU taught how to use unstoppable laser swords? As far as the Separatist resources, he knows nearly EVERYTHING. You can’t send shit after him that he doesn’t already know how to take apart, rewire, counter, & give back to you with a rude note on it.
And goddamn, if you thought Kalee hated the Republic? Just wait until it becomes the Empire & stops even trying to hide being tyrannical (hehe tyrannous). Grievous spent his entire life fighting oppression much more advanced than him & fucking winning. That’s why his resume was at the top of Palpatine’s murder machine CV pile. This bitch excels at adaptive guerilla warfare & he will use every last wheezing breath to fuck up your shit. Even if he has to work with Jedi to do it.
In conclusion, an enlightened General Grievous would gladly die for a chance to punch Palpatine in the face & this is why he would be an immense asset to the rebel alliance. He’d be an insufferable asshole but that is the cost you pay for him having to be right all the time.
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bart had to rework his life, his brain, his body just to fit the parameters of what whiteboy wallace and max considered ‘appropriate’ for a speedster, even tho he grew up in a fucking VIDEO GAME and was supposed to be conditioned into a terrorist weapon even tho his real fate was to die young and quick bc his very biology was against him surviving and that the speed force itself wanted him in its arms, but he FORCED himself to acclimate, even tho it was killing him inside, even tho the manchester junior high kids loved him, even tho max cared but was still unfit to parent, even tho whiteboy wallace couldn’t throw enough kind words his way, but HE KEPT GOING, and he made friends, grew to love carol, but that shit still hurt, so he was still Impulse first and Bart Allen the Civilian second, BUT THEN HE MET KON!
A FRIEND! SOMEONE HE COULD BE HIS TRUE SELF AROUND! WHERE HE DIDN’T NEED TO LIMIT HIMSELF JUST TO FIT IN! WHO HE COULD TEASE AND BOTHER AND TALK TO AND GIVE HEADPATS TO AND LISTEN TO!
Kon, who was his friend both in his original form, the superhero Impulse, and his civilian alter ego, Bart Allen of Manchester.
Kon, who was lonely and depressed and traumatized and terrible with women, but found friendship with a person who didn’t want to exploit him, or manipulate him, or use him for sex or for his powers, someone who only really just wanted to be his friend, and was! Bart Allen, Impulse, was his friend!
What if the love wasn’t supposed to be at first sight. What if it was supposed to be slow, and built upon pillars healing from individual grief and loss TOGETHER. what if it’s supposed to be based on a friendship that transcended even death and rebirth. what if even tho bart allen was always supposed to die, he COULDN’T stay dead, simply bc kon was still lost.
what if a man knew another man existed but didn’t think much about him until one day some kid makes grownups disappear, and now these men have to work TOGETHER. they exist, and their paths cross, but it’s not love at first sight, and there’s no shared legacy for them to fall into, but they keep crossing paths, when parallax destroys the universe, when there’s a world without grownups, and they HAVE to talk. they have to listen. they have acknowledge each other. and they do. little by little, over thirty years, through death and rebirth, separation and loss, reunion and going to a new home TOGETHER.
what if the love was a choice. what if they chose to care for each other even tho every aspect of the narrative sought to punt them both to hell. but couldn’t. bc bart allen CHOSE to find kon el in a broken multiverse. and when he did, kon el CHOSE to go home with him.
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Sekido x Fem!Reader
HELP I FORGOT I WROTE THIS.
Warning - mention of self harm and blood
You had been raised in a very toxic environment. You usually went outside to escape your family, and would always leave very early in the day, around 4 Am when no one would be awake. Today, you had left like usual and got to the spot where you stayed at. You were met with a surprise.
There was someone sitting on a log, next to your treehouse ( yes you made a treehouse ). They were clearly a demon based on the horns on their head. You noticed he was injured and was having a difficult time regenerating, You noticed that he also noticed you and he had stumbled to get up, thinking you were a threat and ready to attack.
You could really care less that he was a demon and could kill you at any moment, you just walked pasted him to go to your treehouse. He didn't expect that and fell back down in pain. He groaned and said "Your very lucky.. I would have killed you by now.." You looked at him from the ladder of your treehouse and sat down on it. "Oh really? I wouldn't mind." He looked at you a bit confused now,
"What did you just say?" You smiled and said "I wouldn't mind, the idea of death is interesting if you think about it.." He looked back at you, angry expression never fading. "What's so fucking interesting about death?" You chuckled to yourself and kept smiling. "Demons need blood to help regenerate correct?" You asked him. "Yes." He with a bit of confusion mixed with annoyance. You climbed up the ladder and grabbed a jar from the treehouse, you had a whole set up in there since you practically lived there.
You had grabbed a knife also and cut yourself, pouring the blood into the jar. You had gotten the attention of Sekido with the blood when you heard "What the hell are you doing?" You bandaged the cut and walked out with the jar of blood in your hand, gave it to him and said "Drink." He made a "tch" sound and grabbed the jar and drank it. You watched as his wounds healed and he seemed to look a bit more energized.
He looked to you and said "Do you have any idea what you just did?" You smiled and said "Yes. I helped you, and if you wished to kill me you would have by now." He looked at you and rolled his eyes. You looked up at the sky and noticed the sun was beginning to rise. "I suggest you either run away or go into the treehouse if you don't want to die." He stood up thinking you were threatening him till he noticed the surroundings around you both begin to get a little brighter.
You never seen a demon move so quickly and shut the door to your treehouse. You slowly made your way to the treehouse and walked in, closing and locking the door behind you. The treehouse was pretty advanced, it had everything you needed to survive. And it didn't have any windows and the only light source was a few lamps around the area.
He was looking around the treehouse to see if there was any signs of the sunlight, but it was completely safe. "Why.. did you let me say here.. foolish human." You smiled at him and replied "Because I felt like it would be safer for you to be here instead of the forest. "How foolish.." He mumbled and sat down calmly. You were happy at the fact that he wasn't killing you.
After a hours of spending time with him you and him bonded a bit.. But you heard banging at the door a little while after it had turned night. "SEKIDOOO COME OUT! YOU LEFT US AT THE GODDAMN FIGHT" You heard someone yelling outside and Sekido looked visibly annoyed, even more than his usual. Sekido looked at you and mumbled "ill see you again soon. (Name)." And opened the door. You heard 2 voices loudly gasp and yell, "HOW CAN A GIRL TOLERATE YOU?!" and "YOU WERE ALONE WITH A GIRL!?!?" You saw a spear appear from Sekido's hand and they both ran, Sekido chased them.
You were left alone with A blue eyed demon. "I apologize if Sekido was rude at all.. You smell human.. Are you human?" He walked closer to you inspecting you. You smiled and nodded "I am indeed human!" He looked at you in a bit of shock. "You weren't eaten?.. How?" You shrugged "I mean I did feed him some of my blood since he was injured." He was in shock. "How are you not dead?.." You laughed and said "magic.." and continued laughing. He was just stunned, you would be considered 'annoying' to Sekido. Sekido came back covered in blood and the other two came into the treehouse looking around.
"I could get used to living in here!" The yellow eyed demon came in and fell onto your bed. "uhm.." You awkwardly said. Sekido saw you a bit unsure on him being on the bed and grabbed Urogi and yelled at him. "why aren't we killing this cutie again?" Karaku walked up behind you and put his hand on your shoulder, you stood very still. "Hands. Off." Sekido was next to him in a second and had Karaku's hand ripped off and thrown across the room. You looked at it unfazed.
"Somones a bit protective.." Urogi laughed at Aizetsu's comment. Sekido's face was red, you couldn't tell if it was from anger or blushing. "OOOO HES BLUSHINGG" Urogi yelled. "DIE" Sekido yelled and swung his spear at Urogi. "Don't mess up my house Sekido." He looked back at you and rolled his eyes and stopped. Him listening to you left the other clones jaws DROPPED. "Okay you missy, you have guts to say that to Sekido I respect it." You smiled at Karaku and Sekido death glared Karaku.
"Sekido.. Its a bit obvious you feel some sort of attraction to this human.. You never act like this.." Sekido looked at Aizetsu after he had said this and looked like he was about to murder Aizetsu. You sat down on your bed and relaxed, letting them go on about him having feelings for you. You didn't know if it was exactly true or not but you just assumed he did, even only after a day.
Ever since that day, you would find flowers at your treehouse and at night you would find Sekido relaxing there.
(I have no idea how long this has been sitting in my drafts.)
#kny#demon slayer#sekido x you#sekido x y/n#sekido x reader#sekido#x reader#urogi#aizetsu#karaku#demon slayer x reader#demon slayer x y/n#demon slayer x you#kny x you#kny x reader#kny x y/n
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do u have E.J headcanons?
Yes! I really love him! These are gonna be very different from how most ppl see him! Ty for the ask!
Jack was almost finished with med school at 25
So he was really close to achieving his dream of being a doctor/ surgeon
He was really only friends with his roommate because he was so focused on school
He also kept in touch with his family
He was so excited for them to come out and see him graduate! They’d be so proud of him!
They worked hard to get him in that school after all!
He was also kinda shy and quiet
Not antisocial per say just quiet and work focused
Then he met Jenny
She was outgoing and sweet and invited him to hang out with her friends all the time
Jack, almost done with school anyway, figured he could use more friends
So he started hanging out with them more
But especially Jenny
They would talk and text outside the group too
Jack started developing a huge crush on her
So when she asked him out for a night out in the woods, just the 2 of them he went along with it
Then he got hit over the head and tied up
He woke up afraid surrounded by people in blue masks with tar coming from the eyes
“Hi Jack!”
Jack recognizes that sweet voice, the one he loved to hear, tainted by what was happening
“Jenny?! What’s happening?!”
“Don’t be afraid Jack! You’re our chosen one!”
“Huh?! Stop! Fucking stop!”
No one listened to Jack though
The people who he thought were his friends were about to ruin him
Take the life he loved away
They started by scooping out his eyes
They didn’t care that Jack was crying and begging for him to stop
Since they were all in med school, they were able to take his eyes out very cleanly
Still lots of pain and blood though
Then came the chanting and the tar being poured into his eye sockets
Jack screaming filled the forest but no one would come to help him
As they chanted the spell to put the demon, Chernobog, inside him he felt his body change
It was extremely painful
He screamed and writhed on the ground as he felt his teeth sharpen. His blood go black, his skin burning as it turned grey. His bones snapping and twisting as he grew a foot taller
He was a monster
And he hates it
His cultist “friends” were so satisfied
And he ripped them to shreds
Saving Jenny for last
He loved her a lot and to be betrayed like that was heartbreaking to say the least
He let out literal growls and roars of anger as he did it all
He hated killing people
But they turned him into this thing
Jack ran into the forest and violently attacked every animal he came across eating it
Crying as he did
Well crying as best as he could
Since the tar messed up his tear ducts, he can only make deep heaving noises of sadness
Jack tried to eat human food
Really he did!
He doesn’t like bloodshed and killing
He was gonna be a doctor and help people he didn’t want this
But it just tasted awful and the cravings for human flesh got stronger
He was so hungry one night he gave in, eating and killing Mitches brother and eating pieces of Mitch himself
God Jack felt disgusted with himself
When he killed Mitch’s brother he felt like an animal
So he recomposed himself and decided to use everything he learned in college with Mitch, just taking something small and simple that Jack could take easily and store even more easily
The kidneys
He still hated using these skills to harm people but at least it’s more humane
He only needs a few pieces of people to survive. No one has to die right?
He’d stitch them back up! It’s like nothing ever happened right?!
This became his routine for years
Sneak in, take what he needed, patch them up and leave
Then he came across everyone else
He related to the proxies of Slenderman the most because like him, they were being controlled by something paranormal as well
And all three of them had no say
Especially sees himself in Masky and Toby though
Masky was in college when his life was taken away from him too
Maskys friends, his life, his family all gone
Had no choice or say in what happened to him
Toby was manipulated by Slenderman into doing his bidding, just like Jack was manipulated by Jenny
They both thought they could trust the people/ entities that took everything from them
Jack was taken in because well all the creeps get hurt and they need a doctor
Jack had so many mixed feelings
One one hand he was happy that he finally got to use his skills to help instead of hurt
But the people he was helping….hurt people
Some of them willingly do it too
But it’s either this or living outside and continuing to hurt people with his own 2 hands
If he stayed and helped and asked for food in return then he wouldn’t have to collect himself anymore
So that’s what he did
Everyone brings him food from their victims and he patches them up
And he has a place to stay
Jack, despite how he looks is still very human
But he can never go back to the life he lost
He looks in the mirror and tries to cry, but he can’t even do that
Just unsettling heaving noises
He hates how he looks. It’s awful
He hates how people are scared of him
He doesn’t want to be this way
Jack is so quiet just because he’s so depressed
He wants his old life back so bad
So bad, in fact, he goes to his old family home a lot and looks at his family through the window wishing he could be in the house with them where he belongs
He’ll watch them sleep
He watches them cry over his disappearance
“I’m right here” he says quietly and starts to heave and whimper sadly as he puts his hand on the window “please, don’t cry. I’m right here”
He knows he can never face his family or society ever again
Not after everything he’s done. Not with what he is now
Jack doesn’t want to die, he thinks that would be a waste of all the organs he took
Just wants his old life back so bad
He can still see, there’s a demon inside him that makes sure of that
If Jack doesn’t eat for extended periods of time, he’ll turn all animalistic and everyone will have to hold him down and restrain him until he snaps out of it
He feels ashamed when that happens
“I’m not a monster. I’m not”
Most of the Creeps don’t judge him
They’re all killers and monsters after all
But he gets along with Jane really well
He gets along with Toby really well too, but Toby can be a lot to handle sometimes
Part of him is scared to get close everyone but he’s scared of being betrayed again
So he keeps to himself a lot
Jack can eat human food again after years of trying. It was like recovery therapy almost
It makes him feel more human when he eats it
He has nightmares about that night. The night they violated his body
He can sometimes feel everyone’s hands on him
So he’ll shower for hours and scrub trying to get the feeling of their hands off him
Then he’ll go to Jane or Toby’s room and sleep on the floor
Doesn’t want to be alone after that
Him and Toby bonded a bunch because Toby is the main one getting patched up
Jack and him talk for hours after he’s done getting patched up
Also Toby needs regular check ups(cipa)
Wants a significant other to love him despite his looks. It’ll make him feel human
Seeing Jane have a wife gives him hope for himself
Hes 6’10
Fluffy brown hair
Never takes off his mask unless he’s around Toby or Jane
He’s insecure about his face
He’s actually pretty nice, still work oriented and quiet though and really serious and blunt
Very clean. Cleans his tools, his clothes, his room, everything
Not the monster that everyone thinks he is, he’s still connected to his humanity and plans to keep it that way
#creepypasta#eyeless jack#creepypasta hcs#eyelessjack hcs#eyeless jack hc#creepypasta fandom#creepypasta characters#creepypasta headcanon#creepypasta eyeless jack#eyeless jack hcs#crp#eyelessjack
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And she would rescue me
Tess Servopoulos x Fem!reader
Summary- Tess doesn’t know why she stopped to help you. She doesn’t know why she thought bringing into the QZ was a good idea either. But now you’re in her apartment and she’ll be damned if she’s about to let you die. Snippets of the days you spend with her
A/N- this came to me so randomly in the middle of getting extremely frustrated over a request I couldn’t get my mind to wrap around, and I smashed out a few thousand words and decided I loved it. I feel like there’s a lot of injured reader x Joel fics but not enough Tess ones. So here’s my spin on it.
Warnings- 18+ || light discussion of injuries, I think this is sliigghttllyyy ooc tess, tess realising she can actually let someone in, tess learning to trust tbh, smut towards the end( it isn’t as detailed as usual cause Lord this OS is long I had to chop things out ) : oral ( reader receiving ) , fingering ( tess receiving), tess gets a little panicked during one part of the smut but she’s totally okay, can I get a hell yeah for tess being vulnerable?!
Word count- 13k only proof read once
Navigation | TLOU masterlist | AO3
Reblogs and comments are always appreciated/ encouraged <3
She didn’t really know why she’d done it. Why she hadn’t just… kept walking. Minded her own fucking business and gone home. But how could she? She still had some kind of humanity left in her, enough that meant she wouldn’t just walk past a girl dying.
Which, when she thought about it, was almost laughable. She’d left her fair share of people dying, most of them dying because of her own actions. So. Clearly her humanity liked to pick and choose its moments. And maybe if this scenario had happened 10 more years into the apocalypse, she would have left you there.
But it hadn’t. The world was still yet to rip the final shreds of humanity out of her.
You had been in a heap at the bottom of a slope, where the concrete of the road had been bombed and now created a jagged rocky mess. She’d thought you were dead at first. No one really ever survived outside the wall on their own, so it wasn’t wrong of her to assume. And if she was truly honest she thought that checking on you was worth it, even if you were dead because you might actually have something decent on you.
Well that’s what she’d told Joel anyway. Her and Joel were close, ridiculously close. They knew each other inside and out but she always noticed she had held onto a little more of her humanity of the years where as he seemed to have buried his deeply away. She was the one that still had a tiny candle flickering in her chest, a warmth that allowed her to hope and care. Even if some days she did feel like snuffing it out. No matter how twisted and dark her mind had become over the years, she still had some light trapped in there.
And so even with Joel’s complaints she had gone over to you. Using the excuse of simply hoping to pull something useful from the corpse. But no. You’d been alive. Barely it seemed. But alive.
Firstly she’d checked you over for any sign of a bite, carefully pushing at you and moving your clothes for any sign of fungus crawling through your veins. Last thing she wanted was another infected crawling around out there, as if their journeys out of the city weren’t difficult enough as it was. So she checked, ready to shoot you in the head if she found even a single sign of a mushroom. And when she’d found none… she’d stood up to leave. You had nothing on you. Even your clothes were fucked. Nothing worth her time. You’d be dead soon and just another body littering the streets. She should just go home and get out of the rain.
But she found herself unable to move. Even when Joel chastised her for wasting time when he just wanted to get back inside the wall and drink himself to sleep.
“ I am not taking some damn girl back inside the wall “ he hissed “ This isn’t you Tess “
“ she’s dying Joel “
“ and so let her die. People die every goddamn day. Including us if we get caught tryna smuggle some girl through the wall. And what’re you gonna do when you get back? What if she dies anyway huh? “
She’d looked down at you again, debating listening to him. If you did die on the way back she’d be stuck with the task of trying to dispose of a dead body. Which she had done plenty of times before but, if they found you without any records of ever being accepted into the QZ? That could cause some problems.
But you were still alive. Somehow. Somehow you had managed to survive out there, and from the flaking dried blood on your face you’d been there a while. You were strong. She liked that.
Joel was wrapped around her finger so even with his protesting it didn’t surprise her that she’d managed to talk him round.
The real surprise was that they’d managed to get back inside the wall, through the tunnels and into her apartment unnoticed. Joel unceremoniously dumping you down on her bed and leaving with muttered curses under his breath that he wasn’t gonna help if she got caught. Which was bullshit. Of course he would.
That had been 2 days ago.
You were still where Joel had left you, but she made you more comfortable. Changed you out of your filthy clothes and bandaged your ankle. From the bruising and the swelling she assumed you’d broken it. But there wasn’t much telling what exactly you’d done, X-rays weren’t exactly easy to go and get now.
She’d also cleaned the injury on your head, washing away the dried blood and stitching up the wound. It wasn’t exactly neat. But she didn’t think you’d mind. She’d saved your life after all. She sat you up every now and again to coax water into you, smashing up painkillers and dissolving them in some hope you weren’t in too much pain.
You’d barely woken up the entire time. Occasionally your eyes would open for a few seconds, gaze around the room in a way that made you look drunk, and then pass back out again. She was starting to get worried. Because you needed to eat sooner rather than later. Dosing you with water and pills was one thing but it would be useless if you didn’t eat anything.
She kept a close eye on you. Locking the doors whenever she went out for work assignments and hoping you wouldn’t wake up and freak out whilst she was gone. But you didn’t. She came home, gave you water and meds, and then went to bed.
She’d been sleeping on the couch. The bed was big enough for two. But she guessed you waking up not only in a strange place but with a strange person next to you might just kill you anyway from the shock.
It made her want to laugh sometimes when she lay there at night. Maybe she was getting soft. Running around like Florence fucking Nightingale looking after a stranger that was probably gonna die anyway. And for what? What solid reason did she have for it?
None. Absolutely none.
But she couldn’t help it. Continuously tending to you and keeping you clean, keeping your bandages fresh. Wiping at your face and wondering where you’d come from, how you’d ended up out there. She had so many questions.
She was getting soft.
You woke up properly a few days after she’d found you. She wasn’t entirely sure if your bouts of unconsciousness had been due to the head injury or the painkillers. Maybe it was both. Either way, your eyes were fully open now.
To her surprise you didn’t look afraid. She found it made that little candle in her chest burn a little brighter for a moment. She was so used to people being afraid. She liked it, of course she did. But the change was nice for a brief moment. To see kind eyes looking at her like she was… a person.
You were both silent. Neither of you seemingly knowing what to say in the moment. She hadn’t really thought that far ahead. And she was confused to find herself stuck for words. Unsure of what to do. She usually was ten steps ahead of everyone, could read a room in an instant and know exactly what her next move would be.
But not now. Not there with you looking at her like that. It was frustrating.
“ welcome to the world of the living sweetheart “ she finally said, crossing her arms over her chest and watching you closely “ or half living I suppose “
“ where am I? “ your voice was hoarse. Probably because you hadn’t used it for so long. It was curious though. Not afraid. No fear laced your words as you glanced around the room, landing back on her and tilting your head slightly to the side like an inquisitive animal.
“ Boston QZ “ Tess finally spoke, grabbing a chair from the kitchen table and pulling it to the end of the bed and sitting down. You watched her every move, eyes following her from the table to where she sat “ I found you outside the wall. What the fuck were you doing out there huh? “
You seemed to ponder on the question for a moment, flickers of confusion flashing across your face. You didn’t know. How hard had you hit your head?
“ I’m not- I’m not sure - how long have I been here? “
“ few days “ your eyes widened at that, eyebrows flying up in a way that clearly hurt the wound on your head. Your hand came up to touch it, gingerly patting the stitched up space in your hairline. You then pulled at the blankets to see your ankle neatly bandaged up.
“ I fell “
“ I guess so “ she said with a sarcastic tone seeping its way into her words. Of course you’d fallen. It didn’t take a genius to work that one out.
“ so you… brought me here? “
“ a thank you would be fuckin nice “
“ oh! Thank you. Yeah of course “ you said quickly, blush creeping across your cheeks. She surprised herself by immediately thinking how… cute… it looked.
“ you feel okay though? “ she asked, immediately trying to rid herself of her previous thought. You nodded and yours eyes fell back onto her, sheepishly avoiding her gaze for more than a few seconds.
“ kinda hungry though “ to her surprise that made her smile, exhaling shortly though her nose in a small laugh.
“ yeah I bet “ she felt your eyes on her the entire time she was pottering around in the kitchenette deciding what food to get you. A small part of her did think she should’ve been smarter than to turn her back on you, you could’ve gotten out of bed and found one of the numerous weapons littered around the place. Killed her and escaped thinking she’d kidnapped you or something.
It made her glance over her shoulder.
“ you’re not gonna hurt me are you “ you said suddenly. It came out as more of statement or a fact than a question though, like you were telling yourself out loud to confirm it. Not really asking her.
“ if I wanted to hurt you I would’ve done it by now. Fuck I wouldn’t have even risked my ass bringing you though the wall “ she made her way back over to you, placing down a couple of the rationed food bars she had in front of you “ they taste like shit. But apparently one bar equals a whole fuckin meal or whatever propaganda bullshit the Military wanna tell us. Just tryna make us eat less “
“ thank you “ your eyes suddenly seemed ravenous, grabbing at the bar and taking a large bite
“ fuck. Slow down. You haven’t eaten in a week you keep going like that you’ll puke the whole thing up in ten minutes “ your cheeks flushed and you nodded, taking smaller nibbles from the shitty food bar. Looking at them already made her crave the fresh food from Bills. It’d only been days and she’d do anything for a vegetable that actually crunched. And had taste “ you can stay here till your ankles fixed… just be quiet. Stay out of sight. Last thing I want is my neck hanging from a fuckin rope because i got caught with an unregistered citizen. Okay? “
“ thank you “ she moved back to the table then, not really knowing what else she was supposed to say to you, and made herself look busy by counting ration cards. As if she hadn’t already gotten the exact number already twice over.
She was mildly regretting bringing you back. What was she supposed to do with you now? At least when you were asleep she didn’t have to worry about you drawing attention to yourself. Now you were awake, what if someone saw you. Or you decided you were in fact scared of her and started screaming or something.
She was such a fuckin idiot. Always acting on impulse when she was tired. And she had been after that hike from Lincoln. She was usually quite rational, but that all went out the window with you clearly. She should’ve listened to Joel. She probably wouldn’t even remember you by now if she’d just left you there. And now? Now she was stuck with an unregistered citizen in her apartment for fuck knows how long.
Way to fuckin go Tess.
“ I didn’t think.. I didn’t think you’d actually hurt me you know? “ you said as she stacked the cards, her eyes flickered up to find you watching her “ I just. I don’t know why I asked really. I actually feel pretty safe here. That’s stupid isn’t it? “
“ a little bit stupid. Yeah “ she agreed.
“ No one’s kind anymore. But you are. You helped me “ was she kind? Was she? She used to be. She wasn’t so sure anymore “ and you’re a woman “
“ nice observation “
“ no I mean. Men were shitty before but now? We ran into this group on the way here… I can’t remember their names but. They just took girls because they could. Kept them like slaves. Infected aren’t the scariest thing out there “ she knew that was true. Not to say that some women weren’t just as shitty. But the men were having a field day with the apocalypse. All rules had gone out the window.
It was stupid of you to trust her so easily, woman or not. She could very much have been planning to hurt you. Or demand something in return for her good nature. She wasn’t going to of course. But most people would’ve done that. If they’d even bothered to stop to help you at all.
Maybe she was kind.
By your third night- well. Nights that you were aware of anyway- in her apartment she was starting to miss when you were passed out. You woke up screaming somewhere in the early hours each night, thrashing around in the sheets and sobbing about things you couldn’t seem to explain to her.
So much for not drawing any attention to yourself.
She knew you couldn’t help it. Not really. She knew first hand from Joel. From her own nightmares that liked to sneak their way into her dreams from time to time. But you needed to be quiet.
She wondered if you’d been trapped in an endless cycle of those dream when you were unconscious. If you had been watching them on a loop as she attempted to care for you, looking so peaceful but screaming on the inside.
“ you wanna talk about those dreams of yours? “ she asked on morning number four. Remembering some slight memory of her mother telling her that talking about bad dreams would make them go away when she was a kid. Something she probably would’ve then gone on to tell her own kids. One of those small twists of the truth that parents did to try and make their children feel better. Something little and mostly useless that they took into adulthood. Even knowing that it wasn’t entirely true. But it worked a little bit.
So it was worth a try. Wasn’t it. Just because she needed you to be quiet. Not that she really cared. Of course she didn’t care. Why would she.
She couldn’t. Caring was dangerous.
“ I’m sorry I know you said about the noi- “
“ yeah you’re waking up the whole fuckin block every night sweetheart you need to get that under control “ she watched your face flush slightly in a way she had noticed you did when she slipped in the pet name. But maybe it was a mixture of embarrassment too.
It didn’t make you special. It was almost… condescending. Her way of keeping herself that one step above on the ladder, she didn’t care.
She didn’t.
“ I’m sorry I’m trying “
“ try a little harder “ you sighed and dropped your head into your hands, shaking your head. Were you crying?
“ I’m sorry “ you were “ I just keep seeing… seeing all the people and the blood and the rain and- “ she walked over to you, observing you like a injured animal that wasn’t quite sure what to do with. The kind where she didn’t know if it was kinder to kill it and put it out of it’s misery or to attempt to console it and bring it back to health.
Though clearly she was already doing the latter.
“ I told you. Tell me about them “ that came out a little lighter than she had initially meant. But she didn’t linger on it “ get it out. Probably won’t make them stop but. Might help “
You seemed to debate it, wiping at the tears on your cheeks and sighing.
She had to admit she was curious to know what was tormenting you. In the world they lived in there was plenty of things it could’ve been. They were 10 years in now and she still saw flashes of outbreak day in her dreams sometimes. Still remembered the first person she had seen infected. The first she had killed.
Death no longer bothered her. She had become numb to it in every way. Paths she had had no choice but to take, that had lead to her ending up that way. She did what she had to do to survive. But you seemed to still be coming to terms with the world around you.
You shuffled to move next to her, hanging your legs over the side of the bed with a small wince as you moved the ankle that was bandaged up.
“ me and a group. 9 of us? We were heading for the QZ. There was more of us at the start but… Pittsburgh is falling apart. A group of us snook out before it could get any worse. If that place lasts another year I’ll be surprised “ she’d heard of QZs falling apart all over the country. Boston was one of the only ones that FEDRA still had a relatively tight grip on “ we made it to the outskirts of the city… these runners came from no where and- “
She sat down on the edge of the bed as you tried to compose yourself a little, surprised to find her chest hurting a little as she watched you. Maybe it was because you seemed so… vulnerable. Somehow avoiding the hardships of the last ten years and behaving like the outbreak had only just begun.
She couldn’t help but feel inclined to protect you.
“ and how’d you end up at the bottom of that slope? “
“ me and 2 others. We made it pretty deep into the city, one of them said we should cut through the buildings. The road was fucked so I agreed. We got separated. Runners. Clickers. I just ran. Last thing I remember is the rain and and tryna get around the mess on the roads… guess I fell. Then you found me”
You’d escaped runners and clickers, and outlasted your entire group. You were really stronger than she thought. Vulnerable, yes, but still strong.
“ and that’s what you keep seeing? In your dreams? “ you nodded and sighed.
“ the others being ripped apart. Clickers chasing me. It’s so stupid I’m sorry. I’ll try to be quiet… I just wish they’d stop“ you dropped your head against her shoulder with a small sigh. Tess didn’t really know what to do. The gentleness of the act was almost alien to her now.
No one had been gentle with her for 10 years. Not even Joel.
You were doing something to her. Had done from the moment she’d seen you lying half dead on the floor outside. The fact that she had stopped at all. That she had brought you back. That in the 3 days you had been awake, the near constant 72 hours in your company, you had declared feeling safe with her. That you trusted her. That you looked at her and believed she could be gentle.
And Tess didn’t know how to react to it. What to do with it. She didn’t have a snarky remark to give you, simply out of fear of hurting your feelings or upsetting you. Which was ridiculous. Since when did she care about people’s feelings?
“ I promise I’ll try control it. Maybe you’re right. Maybe talking about it helped “
“ yeah. Maybe “
She had the sudden urge to tell you it’ll be okay. That she had nightmares too. That she’d lost count of the amount times she woke up in a cold sweat, images of her husband in a pool of his own blood flashing behind her eyelids, the sounds of her son fighting to escape the basement she had locked him in ringing in her ears.
Nothing haunted her more than that day. Everyone had their ghosts.
She didn’t even tell Joel but there she was wanting to tell you. To relate. To console.
She stood up before she could. Clearing her throat and heading for the door. She needed to get out of that apartment.
“ where are you going? “ the look on your face was like that of a kicked puppy, eyes wide and sad. She really needed to get out of that apartment.
“ I have shit to do. Stay quiet. Don’t open the door. I’ll be back in a few hours “ she pulled on her boots as she spoke, grabbing her bag and heading out the door in a hurry.
She needed to get back out among people that feared her. People that knew how dangerous she could be. Just to remind herself she was feared. She was dangerous. She wasn’t soft.
She. Didn’t. Care.
The fourth night was the same. She woke up to the clock on the wall showing 3:30am, you screaming at the top of your lungs and begging for help.
She got up from her makeshift bed on the couch and headed for the kitchen to get you some water, in the way that was becoming routine now. Usually by the time she reached you you’d stopped, but not tonight. You were thrashing around in the sheets, eyes still clenched tightly closed as you sobbed and screamed.
She placed the water down, her brows furrowed and sat herself on the edge of the bed. She grabbed at your arms to stop your thrashing before you hurt yourself
“ hey! You’re okay, look at me come on. Sweetheart, look at me. Just a dream. C’mon now “ your eyes flung open, terror swirling in your dilated pupils “ that’s it. Look around. You’re awake. You’re safe. You’re safe “
Clearly talking about it hadn’t helped. If anything it had made it worse.
“ no! Please- no! “
“ you gotta be quiet. Look. At. Me! “ she grabbed at your face, forcing your wild eyes to focus on her instead “ that’s it. Look at me. You see me? Not a fuckin clicker. No mushrooms in sight. You were dreamin again “ you seemed to register her words, slowly calming down as you took in her face in front of you.
“ Tess “ you whispered it with such relief, like some kind of wish in a prayer had been granted.
“ yeah. That’s right. It’s me “ you leaned into her touch, apparently grounding yourself again against the feel of her hands against your cheek. She watched you intently, the way you had known her for such little time but so clearly found comfort in her. In her touch.
She wondered if you knew the things she were capable of… if you knew the things she had done. Would you be so willing to sit there with her like that?
She let go of you and stood up.
“ no “ you said suddenly, fingers wrapping around her wrist as she attempted to return to the couch “ sorry I- “ she looked down at your hand, the way you held onto her “ I mean- can you. Could you… would you… stay? Here. With me “ she didn’t quite know why the word ‘ yeah ‘ flew into her mouth before she could even think about what you’d said. But she stopped it before it could escape “ please Tess. I’m so scared… I’d feel better if you were here “
“ I’m just around the other side of the wall “
“ please. You make me feel safe “ that took her aback. She didn’t have a single idea how to respond to that. Safe. She made you feel safe.
People didn’t feel safe around her. They felt afraid. They felt submissive to her power, they begged for their life, they felt dependent on her for their pills. They didn’t feel… safe.
But hadn’t that been what she had been trying to achieve? Hadn’t she wanted to make you feel safe. That you could exist around her and not be scared she’d hurt you. And it felt different yes, but. It felt nice too.
“ okay “ it came out far less confident than she’d wanted it to and she cleared her throat, trying to shake off the clearly obvious confusion she was experiencing “ yeah. Yeah. I’ll stay if you want “ you closed your eyes in relief and gave her a small smile, letting go of her wrist.
She watched you pull back the covers beside her and she got in, keeping a nice distance between you both. She had to admit it felt nice to be back in her bed. It wasn’t the most comfortable of things but anything was better than the couch for another night.
It felt strange laying next to someone though. She hadn’t done that for a long. Long. Time. Even when she had made her way through her string of flings and one time things, she hardly ever brought them back to her apartment. And they never slept in her bed if she did bring anyone back. She never let anyone invade her space. That felt too personal.
And yet there you were. In her bed. In her clothes. Finding herself annoyingly thinking about how much better that T-shirt looked on you than it did on her. And trying to ignore how unbelievably normal it felt having you there now. Even more so how normal and comfortable she was having you sleeping beside her.
She turned on her side to look at you, see how at peace you now looked. Your face no longer screwed up in terror, or eyes flashing wildly around the room. The only evidence of your dream the dried tear marks along your cheeks.
She reached out before she could stop herself, wiping at them softly with her fingers. There was a small scar on your left cheek below your eye, she let her finger trace it and wondered how you’d gotten it. She had too many scars to count now. Her face littered with nicks and dotted with freckles from the sun. She wondered if the face she was looking at now had changed in 10 years. If the face you now owned had looked different before the world fell apart.
She instinctively tried to pull away when your hand suddenly moved, placing it over hers gently and holding it in place.
She waited for the embarrassment to come, to ramble some excuse and probably excuse herself back to the couch. But your eyes remained closed, maybe in fear of embarrassing her. Whatever it was. She was grateful. And she let you hold her there, her hand still cupping your face as she fell asleep herself.
“ alright. Come here come look at these “ Tess broke the comfortable silence that had settled over the apartment for the last few hours, drawing your attention away from the book she had given you. She watched as you hopped your way over to the kitchen table, grabbing onto things to keep your balance whilst keeping your injured ankle off the floor.
She’d been working on papers for you for most of the day. Some half cooked insurance policy that made it look like you were a registered citizen if FEDRA happened to come knocking.
Even if they didn’t work entirely they’d still give her enough of a window to get you out before they returned again. And something was better than nothing she supposed.
“ FEDRA do random door to door checks, checking for infection “ she explained when you slumped into the chair next to her “ When they can fuckin be bothered to do it anyway… but if they do there’s a chance they’ll question why you’re here. This apartments only assigned to me, but as long as they think you’re registered it won’t matter. So. Fake papers. According to FEDRA your name is now Christine Hurley “ she didn’t mention that the real Christine Hurley was in fact in a ditch in one of the back alleys of area 2.
That the real Christine Hurley had thought trying to scam her and Joel with fake ration cards was a good idea, and had gotten a bullet in the forehead for her troubles.
“ and these will work? “
“ yeah. I make fake papers all the time to get me and Joel in and out of different areas. Should’ve been a forger pre outbreak. I’d have been rich as fuck” you laughed at that and she almost hated the way it made her heart skip. You were making her too fuckin soft and it was annoying. It was frustrating. She’d known you barely two weeks now, some of which you’d been unconscious, and yet you were making her soft. You were making her feel. Which was ridiculous
“ won’t they still question why I’m here?”
“ yeah but. They won’t really care. As long as you have papers they don’t give a shit. Found me with a girl here before. Idiot didn’t carry her papers with her. Arrested and… well fuck knows where she is now “ your face seemed to change ever so slightly at that and she wondered why “ just keep them with you”
“ you’ve had girls here before? What make a habit of rescuing people do you? “ she scoffed at that. Did she seem like the type to go around rescuing people every day?
“ no. She was here for… she was perfectly healthy. No rescuing “ it seemed to take you a moment before your eyebrows arched and you gave a nervous laugh.
“ oh “ she wasn’t embarrassed, she never had been when it came to sex or her enjoyment of it. She wondered if anyone else would’ve been. Maybe because you didn’t seem uncomfortable at the thought, in fact you seemed quite pleased about it. Something mischievous almost flashing in your eyes. “ interesting “
“ interesting? “
“ yeah. It’s interesting “ Tess raised an eyebrow but you simply shrugged, a smile tugging at your lips that you were seemingly trying and failing to suppress.
It didn’t seem mocking. More… knowing.
She changed the subject.
“ well. There’s your papers. Keep em with you “ you nodded and scanned over them, learning the new information about yourself whilst you were inside Bostons walls. Tess packed her stuff away and stood up, taking it over to the kitchen counter to hide it away in the small stash behind the back of one of the cupboards.
“ was she your girlfriend? “ Tess froze for a moment as you spoke, glancing slightly behind her to look at you. You were still looking down at the papers, like it was a casual topic to simply make conversation.
“ who? “
“ the girl. The one who didn’t have her papers “ she quirked an eyebrow and turned around , folding her arms across her chest and leaning back against the counter
“ why’d you ask? “
“ is that a yes “
“ it’s not “ you hummed a response, flipping the first page over to look at the other which listed all of the work assignments Christine had completed “ she wasn’t my girlfriend. I don’t… I don’t do girlfriends. Or boyfriends for that matter “
“ ahh. You’re one of those people. Alright “ you said, smiling down at the paper and clearly no longer reading it
“ what’s that supposed to mean? “
“ nothing bad. I’m just observing “ you finally looked up, sitting back in the chair with amusement on your face. It was a nice change from the sadness that seemed to be settling over your face every now and again “ let me guess. You get bored. Or lonely. So you go out, find a find a girl. Or a guy. Fuck them. Then leave them. That right? “
It was right. And she hated that you’d read her so easily.
“ no “ you scoffed at that
“ sure. But lemme ask you. Do you really feel less lonely? When you’re with them? Or is it something else? “ she didn’t like where this conversation was going. At all. Or the fact that it genuinely made her think. No. Of course it didn’t make her feel less lonely. If anything it simply made it worse
“ I’m not lonely. I’m better on my own “
“ I don’t think that’s true “
“ yeah. Well you know nothing about me” her words were a little harsh. Defensive. She didn’t want people knowing about her, didn’t need someone trying to figure her out.
“ but I want to know “ you didn’t seem shocked by her tone, or her words.
“ you don’t “ she didn’t want to tell you. She didn’t want to tell you about herself or reveal things about her.
Because it would only scare you off. She knew it.
“ hmmm. I do “ you smiled as you said it and she couldnt help the way it eased the tension brewing in her muscles “ you don’t have to tell me bad stuff. Just. Tell me fun stuff. I’m so starved of like… girl talk “ Tess scoffed
“ there were no girls in your group? “
“ there was two. One was a kid. And the other liked to grab me when her boyfriend pissed her off. Then tell me after it was totally a ‘ one time thing and she was literally so straight ‘ “ you said with a laugh and bending your fingers into air quotes.
“ oh I’ve known a few like that “ Tess found she didn’t actually mind that topic of conversation. Because it was something she was comfortable with and something she could control. And didn’t directly reveal anything about herself. So she sat herself back at the table with you.
“ so was I right then? You just fucking your way through the QZ for the fun of it? “
“ I wouldn’t exactly put it like that “
“ so how would you put it “ you leant forward, chin on your hand and a cheeky smile plastered across your face. You were loving it. And Tess did have to admit talking to someone other than Joel was a decent change.
“ the worlds a pile of shit. I won’t deny myself small pleasures “ your grin grew at that
“ bet you have them lining up for you huh? That scary thing you do… yeah. I bet the guys don’t like that though, you whip them into shape too? “ you said and wiggled your eyebrows in a way she couldn’t help but laugh at. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d really laughed.
“ I prefer women. They’re more interesting to look at “
“ agreed “ even before the outbreak she’d preferred girls. It was true, they were far more interesting, softer, squishier, easier to navigate. Prettier. She couldn’t help the way her eyes wandered over you, mind suddenly running wild. And from the look in your eyes, so was yours.
Two evidently touch starved people in such close proximity, with that topic of conversation was never going to end well.
And so she distanced herself before she could put herself in a compromising situation.
“ I have to go do some work. But I’ll be back soon “ she said and stood up, heading for the door and grabbing her backpack “ don’t- “
“ open the door. Make any sound. Draw any attention to myself. Yes ma’am “ you said, that grin still stuck on your face “ oh and don’t go bringing anyone else back here. You might make me jealous “ you looked back down at your papers then, leaving Tess’ mind still reeling as she opened the door and headed out.
—————————————————————
The nightmares came again that night, seemingly worse than the previous, leaving you in floods of tears after you woke up. And to Tess’ surprise you fell into her arms, clutching at her tshirt as you sobbed and sniffled. She felt her previous annoyance at being woken up fizzle away in an instant, replaced with a deep ache in her chest. Pain at seeing you so upset when you had been so happy during the day.
It concerned her slightly how much she enjoyed your smile. The way your eyes lit up around her. And how much she hated the tears and the sadness now plaguing your features.
“ you’re okay sweetheart. I’ve got you “ she said softly, tucking your head under her chin in a way that surprised her as your sobs turned to hiccups and sniffles. You were gripping her tightly, fingers twisted into the material of her shirt as if you were afraid she was about to push you away and leave you there.
Maybe if you had done that on night one she would’ve. It was strange how much had changed in days. How being around you practically 24/7 had changed her thoughts. She didn’t know if she liked it. if she liked how you seemed to be wiggling your way through the cold exterior of her heart, like a worm trying to reach the core of an apple. Burrowing through until it could reach the centre and stay there.
That almost did make her let you go.
She couldn’t have that. She couldn’t have herself worrying about someone else. Caring about someone else. That was dangerous. And you didn’t care for her. You didn’t worry. So why should she? Why should she allow herself the stupidity of getting into something so clearly one sided. And something she so clearly didn’t have control over. It scared her.
She felt like she was in a car that had had its breaks cut, hurtling towards a brick wall and she had no way of bringing it to a stop.
She really was getting soft. Ridiculously so. There she was sat at her table flicking through a faded and damaged medical book she’d traded for on the black market the previous day, so she could try and figure out how to get you back on your feet again.
She was reluctantly letting it happen now. Just accepting that she was doomed. That for the short time you would be with her she would allow herself this pathetic softness. And the second you were gone she would have her control back. It was all your fault. Yours completely. Luring her in to believe she could feel. To believe she was allowed to feel. To believe that someone could possibly feel for her.
It was stupid. So. Fucking. Stupid.
“ so I’m pretty sure just a super fuckin bad sprain. Says here… two weeks it’ll normally start feeling better. But can take up to eight to fully heal “ she said, clearing her throat in some attempt to distract her thoughts.
“ it does feel better than when I first woke up. So two weeks is accurate “ she placed the book down and went over to where you had your ankle up resting on a couch cushion. She peeled away the bandages she’d wrapped tightly around it to give it some support, pressing and poking slightly at the fading bruises.
“ can you move it? Wiggle your toes and shit? “ you did just that and she shrugged. She was no doctor. But she patched herself and Joel up enough over the years “ alright. c’mon. Up “ she held out her hands and you took them, they looked so soft and delicate compared to hers. A scar here and there but somehow mostly clear. Nothing compared to the scratches and scrapes on hers. The scars on her knuckles from the numerous times she’d split them open.
Hands like that didn’t fit together. Didn’t meet. Hands like hers didn’t deserve the privilege of touching hands like yours. Hands like hers didn’t deserve to touch anyone in a gentle way. They were for business. For hurting. For pain. Yours weren’t. Yours were soft. Smooth. Yours were made for caressing and soothing, for receiving soft kisses on the back.
She was losing it.
She guided one of your arms around her shoulders and helped you get your balance.
“ don’t try walk. Just. Just try put your weight on it “
“ what if- “
“ don’t worry. I’ve got you. Just be careful yeah? “ she watched you carefully as you gently placed your foot down, eyebrows furrowing as you did and hissing in pain through your teeth “ I said carefully “ you sighed and put it flat on the floor but still heavily leaning against her “ feels okay? “
“ hurts “ Tess nodded and held you tighter around the waist
“ try not to lean on me so much. You won’t fall over. I’ve got a hold of you “
“ oh you’re gonna catch me? “ you said with a small laugh, eyes flickering up to hers briefly. The tone of your voice made her throat a little dry and she couldn’t figure out exactly why.
“ yeah. Yeah I got you “ your face screwed up slightly as she watched you out more of your weight onto it and get used to the feeling.
She held you there for a couple of minutes to regain your balance before slipping your arm off of her and holding your hands in hers.
“ now try walk. Hold onto me “
“ I don’t think I- “
“ just try. Look at me “ you watched her face carefully as she took small steps back, helping you to get used to the feeling of the ankle being used again.
She was glad Joel had work assignments that day. She didn’t think she’d ever live it down if he turned up at her apartment and saw that. Saw her holding you so carefully and helping you walk again like a child.
But she found in the hour or so that she did it, her cheeks began to hurt from smiling. For once in her life feeling like the world wasn’t on her shoulders, happy. Smiling. You smiling with her.
It was nice.
“ you got it! Nice work sweetheart “ she watched the utter joy on your face as you managed to keep your balance on your own and walk before falling into her arms.
“ fuck yeah “ you laughed seemingly now exhausted from the small amount of work. But she didn’t blame you after so long unable to do anything “ can we rest now? “
“ we can do whatever you want “ she said with a small laugh, arms wrapped around you to keep you up right.
“ anything? “ you asked quietly, smile fading slightly and looking up at her intently. Tess furrowed her brows, slightly confused at what exactly you were asking her.
It took her completely by surprise when you leant up and kissed her. Standing practically shell shocked as you pressed your lips to hers. It was only a few seconds and then you were pulling back, cheeks flaming red and closing your eyes with a shake of your head
“ god I’m so- Tess I’m sorry I don’t know why I- “
“ you need to rest “ she said and cleared her throat, not wanting to think about had just happened for even a second. Not prepared to deal with the spiral it would inevitably send her down.
All she knew. Was that she was fucked. well. And truly. Fucked.
“ just stay close to me. Try not to talk to anyone. And don’t touch anything“ Tess instructed as she pushed back a palette keeping one of the exits out of the tunnels covered
“ yes ma’am “ you said with a smile and a mock salute, following her through the gap and standing patiently as she dragged the palette back into place “ will there be officers? “
“ maybe. But the ones around here are just as bad as the smugglers. They’re some of our best customers for pills. Turns out sending people to the gallows everyday can fuck you up. Who’d have guessed? Just do as I say “ you stood ridiculously close to her, eventually wrapping your fingers around her wrist as you both entered the courtyard. She wasn’t in the mood to loiter and headed straight for the people she needed. Trading off cards for boots, a new jacket, some shirts and jeans.
Stuff you’d need. That she didn’t have a surplus of.
Ration cards were as precious as gold those days. And she was spending her hard earned ones on you. She definitely wouldn’t telling Joel about that.
She found she didn’t mind though. She wanted you to be prepared. Safe. And the boots she’d found you in barely had any soles left. You wouldn’t get far in those.
It had been a week since you’d kissed her and neither of you had mentioned it since. Falling back into that comfortable thing you’d been developing before. Where you could make her laugh and smile. And you would tease her for being too grumpy which would make you smile.
It was odd how normal it was starting to feel having you around. But she always ruined the moment by thinking about the future. About how empty her apartment would feel when you leave. She’d gotten used to you. And she almost didn’t want to let you go.
Maybe she could work something out, wrap some officers around to her thinking and get you some official papers. She could train you up to help her with her smuggling, show you the ropes and tell you who the best people to deal with were. And who to avoid like the plague.
It could be nice.
“ Tess. Haven’t seen you around for a few days. Where you been hiding? “ she felt you tense beside her as one of the FEDRA officers on her client list made his way towards her. He was a cocky son of a bitch, one who constantly tried to make her lower her prices and was notoriously known for being too heavy handed with the girls he paid for. And had been trying to get his way into her pants for months. Seemingly thinking offering her his dick was worth a half price deal on his pills.
“ don’t. Speak. Let me do the talking “ Tess said in a low voice close to your ear, looking like she was entirely too fascinated by the piles of clothes in front of her “ I’m not selling today Marcus. You know I don’t get shit until the end of the month “
“ I know. I know. Cant I be friendly and say hello? “ she rolled her eyes, hoping he’d just fuck off and leave her be now that he knew she didn’t have what he wanted “ who’s the new pet? Following you around like a little lost puppy? “ you shuffled closer to her if that was even possible, fingers tightly gripping at her wrist.
“ that’s none of your concern “
“ pretty thing “ he said with a smirk, craning his head to try and look at where you were attempting to hide behind her. She surprised herself for the millionth time since she’d found you, when she felt a burning jealousy in her chest. She didnt like the thought of anyone talking about you. Even looking at you. Thinking about you. Which was fuckin. Stupid. But she hated it “ maybe you come give me a visit when she’s done with you huh? “
“ I don’t think so “ her voice was bitter, unable to stop herself from appearing as jealous as she was
“ what? Cant she speak for herself? Come on Tess. It’s nice to share “
“ not this one “ she freed her wrist from your grasp and draped her arm around your shoulder instead, pulling you against her body. You sighed a slight sigh of relief at the contact, pressing yourself against her. She tossed down some more cards for the clothes and handed them to you “ put ‘em in your bag “ you did as you were told, the slightly worried expression that had been on you face still there. But a little less now she had a hold of you.
“ settling down? You’re not the type. You send her my way when you get bored. I’ll be waiting. I’ll even pay you double on my next batch “ Tess scoffed and turned to face him, trying to ignore the burning anger boiling away in her chest at the thought of him anywhere near you.
She saw the state he left some girls in, the thought of that happening to you was enough to make her want to put a bullet through his head in the middle of the courtyard.
“ you know that’s not my game “ he shrugged and raised his hands in mock surrender “ go talk to Robert he’ll point you in the right direction. But this one? She’s mine. So back the fuck off. And come find me at the end of the month for your shit. Okay? “ she enjoyed the way that even the officers listened when she commanded it, that the simple tone of voice and the reputation she was gaining was enough to make anyone do as she said.
“ alright alright. Stay out of trouble “ he said with another smirk, but not as smug as it previously had been “ and you “ he said, throwing a wink at you and walked away.
“ let’s get you home yeah? “ she said it loud enough that she hoped Marcus heard it. That you were going back with her. Not him. Never him.
“ yes please “ she could feel your eyes burning into her as you walked back, almost tripping up because you weren’t paying attention to where you were walking.
You seemed flustered. Frantic almost. She wondered if Marcus had shaken you up, overwhelmed you.
She couldn’t have been more wrong if she’d tried. Once you both got back into her apartment she realised what had gotten into you.
You grabbed at her arm when she closed the door, yanking at her with a confidence she hadn’t seen from you before. You pulled her close and to her surprise yet again, you kissed her. For the second time. It was a lot more confident than the first, more… desperate. Your lips pressing harder against hers than she’d expected.
She found herself kissing you back that time, turning you around and crowding you back against the door. She knew she shouldn’t haven given in, shouldn’t be letting her desire her in the way of what she knew was right and wrong.
But she couldn’t help herself.
Maybe it was the pent up jealousy and anger from down in the market, kissing you being the safest form of release for it. And the most enjoyable. Not that battering the fuck out of Marcus wouldn’t have been thoroughly enjoyable. But making out with you? It beat anything else by miles.
It made her regret not kissing you back the first time, when your lips felt like that against hers. Tasted like that. It felt cruel to have denied herself of it.
It was the feel of your fingers gently pushing at her shirt that snapped her back into reality, made her see some common sense again.
“ hey. Hey we can’t “ she said softly, hands soothing over your arms and closing her eyes for a moment. She sighed and looked at you, your cheeks flushed “ we can’t “ she didn’t explain herself. Couldn’t. Couldn’t tell you that she was getting far too attached. That sleeping with you could well and truly be the final nail in the coffin that she was burying herself in.
“ I’m sorry “ you said, clearly embarrassed. Tess couldn’t tear her eyes away from your lips. Parted and glossy with saliva. She wanted to kiss you again.
“ it’s okay. Don’t sweat it “ she looked away before she could.
“ just. The way you were out there. With that officer and and the way you spoke about me I- god “ she found a smile tugging at her lips as she watched your flustered attempt to explain, groaning and putting your head in your hands. She nudged her fingers under your chin to make you look at her, noticing the way your breath shuddered slightly. You were so easy to work up.
“ don’t be embarrassed “ she could practically see you melting under her gaze, the low tone of her voice and intense gaze making you look ready to drop to your knees. And wouldn’t that be a sight.
A sight she had to remind herself she did not need to see.
“ go empty your bag, take a shower or something i don’t know about you but that market makes me feel grimy as fuck. Then we won’t talk about it. Yeah?” You nodded your head and gave her a warm smile
“ yeah “ she stepped away from you, watching you head for the bathroom and close the door behind you. She ran a hand over her face, a deep sigh shuddering past her lips. What was she doing?
Usually she would’ve kept going. Would’ve happily fucked you and been fine about it. She was no stranger to doing just that and then moving on. But there was something about you. Something about the anger she had felt around Marcus, the jealousy and the possessiveness.
Even the fact that she was still sharing a bed with you. And most nights now she’d wake up to find you pressed against her. Cuddling like a couple as if it were the most normal thing. That she enjoyed waking up to your smile, your eyes. You.
What had you done to her?
“ I think you’re gonna have to go soon “ the realisation of the fact had hit her like a ton of bricks that morning. Or maybe it had been sooner than that and she had been forcing herself to ignore it.
Your lack of reaction told her you probably knew that.
Staying with her had never been a permanent thing. But she felt she was pushing her luck now, the fact you had managed to stay as long as you had was a miracle in itself.
“ they found a whole group of unregistered people in an apartment in area 3 the other day. FEDRAS upping their random checks and… look I’m good at fake papers but they can only do so much. If they find out you’re not a registered citizen they’ll have you up on the gallows before you can even tell them your real name “ she ran a hand over her face with a deep sigh “ and I can’t fuckin see that happen to you sweetheart I can’t “
You didn’t say anything right away, which she hated. It meant that her words hung there in the silence for a little too long. Gave her that minute too long to think about them and wish she could yank them back and shove them back down her throat.
Then your hand tentatively reached out for hers that was on the table, fingers ghosting over her knuckles before gently squeezing in what she assumed was your attempt at reassuring her.
“ I never thought I’d even make it into Boston and with your help I wouldn’t have. I thought you’d kick me out the moment I’d woken up. I never expected you to let me stay as long as you have and put yourself in a position… I’m trying to say thank you I guess. And that… I know… I know you wouldn’t tell me to go unless I really had to “
She glanced up at you and couldn’t quite read the expressions on your face. It annoyed her still. How she couldn’t get a grasp on you, couldn’t get into your head in the way she could with others. But that didn’t matter anymore did it. You were leaving.
“ I know this couple in a town not too far from here. That’s where I was coming from when I found you… Bill and Frank. I spoke to Frank last night on the radio and he said you can go there for a few days. They have more supplies than you can fuckin imagine they’ll give you what you need. Franks real good with the radio he’s gonna listen in, see what he can hear and find you a QZ that’s letting people in “ you nodded and gave her a small smile
“ how do I get there? “
“ I’ll take you “ there was never any question in that. You’d almost died on your way in. Never mind the way out. You nodded, processing the information.
Talking to Frank on the radio the previous night has been hard but now she was discussing with you it made it feel far too real. The stark realisation that you wouldn’t be in the room after tomorrow. You wouldn’t be in her bed, smiling at her when you woke up, loudly commenting on the book you were reading when a character did something you didn’t like. Just your presence .
“ c’mere for a second “ you rose to your feet instantly walking over to her and standing between her legs. She ran her hands gently along your legs and looked up at you, her gaze soft “ I’ll make sure you get there safe. I promise you Bill and Frank will help you out “
You straddled her thighs, looping your arms around her neck and pressing your forehead to hers. It felt too… romantic. Intimate. It felt exactly what she had been so terribly trying to avoid. but maybe she was stupid for ever thinking she could live with you and be around you so constantly and not end up in such a position. You were like a siren luring her in, filling her senses and overwhelming her with desire no matter how hard she attempted to fight it. No one would’ve been able to resist you. No one.
“ I’m gonna miss you “ you whispered, so close your lips brushed hers as you spoke “ I’m gonna miss your stupid face “ Tess chuckled at that.
“ stupid? “
“ mhm. So stupid “
“ so stupid you try kiss me any chance you fuckin get? “ it was the first time you’d both actually mentioned either of the kisses out loud. But she guessed it didn’t matter if it made things awkward now.
You were leaving. What did she have to lose.
“ I have a head injury I don’t think my thought process can be trusted “
“ it can’t “ you twisted a lock of her dark hair around your finger, another thing that felt casually intimate.
“ I guess I cant be blamed then. Cant be blamed for this either “ she refused to let her fears get the better of her that time. Taking the chance whilst she still had it, kissing you back with the same gentleness you were. It felt bittersweet. Nothing could be bad about kissing you, but the knowledge she might never get to kiss you again? That was painful.
“ I’m really gonna miss you “ you whispered once you pulled away, short breaths hitting Tess’ lips.
“ yeah sweetheart. I’ll miss you too “
Tess hadn’t anticipated the heavy feeling in chest on the last night with you in her apartment. Unable to sleep and simply staring up at the ceiling as you lay curled up beside her.
She reminisced on the weeks you’d spent with her. How much you’d managed to wiggle into her heart and make her feel things she thought she’d forgotten.
She felt stupid. But it was okay. You would be gone that time tomorrow, she would drink. She would forget. She would carry on. She would go back to normal. She tried to ignore the small voice in the back of her head telling her that wasn’t what she wanted now. But she had no choice.
She startled as your hand moved, sliding over her arm with a soft sigh
“ cant sleep either? “ she looked down to see your eyes wide awake and watching her. She’d miss the way you looked at her. Admired her. Never afraid.
“ no “ she turned onto her side, reaching out to tuck your hair away from your face “ it’s gonna be weird when you’re gone “ she confessed in a whisper, almost hoping it was too quiet for you to hear. It wasn’t of course.
“ yeah. I got used to looking at your grumpy face everyday “ she huffed a small laugh and rolled her eyes “ maybe I can write or something when I find a new QZ. Send radio messages. I don’t know. Something “
“ yeah. Maybe “ that would only hurt you both more she was certain of it. But she wouldn’t tell you that now. She’d let you hope and think of something good that the future may hold “ do you wanna try get some more sleep? “
“ No I can’t “ you said with a shake of your head and shuffled a little closer to her “ I can think of something to pass the time time though “ Tess smiled and slipped her hand around to the back of your neck
“ funny. So can I “ she pulled you towards her, capturing your lips with hers and pulling a soft sigh from you as she did. She regretted not kissing you more. Regretted not giving in to her thoughts whilst she’d had you, some half ditched attempt to protect herself. As if it still wouldn’t hurt.
You kissed different than anyone else she’d been with. Which sounded cheesy and she felt stupid for thinking it. But it was true. Girls that were being overly dramatic to try and get paid more or girls that were just like her. Lonely and looking for some form of human contact.
But you were… invested. Kissing her like you actually meant it. Tender and careful, soft moans into her mouth that were slowly working her up.
“ I thought of. Of something else. That. We could do. More than…kissing “ you whispered in between soft kisses “ if you want “ she didn’t need to second guess or even give it a single second of thought. You were leaving tomorrow whether she or you liked it or not. So what did she have to lose now? Nothing.
And who was she to deny herself of such pleasure in world full of a whole lot of pain. Especially now. Especially with you.
She pushed at you, placing her body on top of yours and caging your head between her arms, not giving you a second to even attempt to take control from her. Not that she thought she would really. Not when you had been so willing to do as exactly as you’d been told the entirety of your stay with her.
She felt ever so slightly out of practice. It wasn’t a lack of experience, Jesus if anything she had too much experience. Which she wasn’t entirely proud of but who the fuck cared? The world was ending. Had ended. She’d take any small ounce of pleasure she could seek out. You didn’t seem like the type for that. She couldn’t picture you slinking around in the less desirable areas picking up girls just because she wanted something- or rather someone- to do.
No. You seemed too… pure. For that. Tess wasn’t pure. Not at all. But she could pretend. She could pretend if that’s what you wanted. Though she wasn’t entirely sure it was. Not with the way your hands were grabbing at her, hands restless as they slipped under the hem of her shirt to touch her skin.
She kissed you until she had no choice but to pull away to breathe, immediately moving to your neck instead. Your skin was like a blank canvas and she was going to take great joy in marking it.
“ Tess “ you practically whimpered her name, pushing at her tshirt in some silent request to get it off. But she’d be damned if she was gonna let you get her naked first. Her fingers worked at the button up you’d gone to bed in, still working at your neck as she did. She hadn’t really liked the shirt on herself, so had happily let you take it when you’d picked it out. But on you? She almost didn’t want to take it off you completely. There was something about the thought of fucking you in her clothes…
She had to sit up to admire the view, reluctantly detaching her lips from your soft skin.
“ fuck “ she couldn’t help it, it left her mouth without her consent. The sight of you was enough to ruin her for life. Her shirt open and revealing your heaving chest, the blush creeping across your cheeks and the blossoming marks on your neck… oh she was fucked.
She reached out, grabbing at your tits and sighing heavily at how heavenly your body was. You’re back arching into her touch as she moulded the squishy flesh beneath her fingers, dropping her head down again to get her mouth on you too.
She was like a greyhound chasing a rabbit. Tunnel vision and a singular end goal, you the only thing in her sight. In her mind. Desperate to touch and taste and fill her senses with nothing other than you.
“ oh god “ you whined as she flattened her tongue, licking across your nipple and testing your reaction. She knew you’d be whiny. Knew you’d be someone she could work into a whimpering mess with ease.
She had a knack for knowing these things.
“ you’re fuckin beautiful “ she said as she rolled a nipple between her fingers, peppering kisses across your chest as she did “ so fuckin beautiful “ she was stupid to think she’d be able to forget you with a bottle of whiskey. How on earth would she ever get the image of you underneath her out of her mind.
You squirmed around beneath her, small sighs and whimpers escaping past your lips when she grazed her teeth against your skin. Your fingers lacing into her hair and scratching your blunt nails against her scalp.
She didn’t let herself get side tracked for too long, she had an end goal to reach that resulted in her head happily between your thighs. And with the sounds you were already making and the way you were squirming around, she got the picture you were more than ready for that.
She moved back up to be level with your face, kissing you again and letting her hands wander. Mapping out your body with her fingers so she could commit the thought to memory.
“ please Tess. I need you. God I need you just- please “ you whimpered into her mouth, raising your hips up against her in desperation. If you had been anyone else she’d have denied you. Made you beg and edged you until she was bored “ I waited weeks don’t make me wait any longer “
But she couldn’t do that to you. How could she possibly deny you of anything you wanted from her? When you were underneath her looking like that, making sounds like that.
“ weeks huh? “
“ yes “ that made her feel pretty fucking smug. But also made her feel slightly less stupid for… whatever it was she was feeling for you.
So she didn’t waste any time. Moving down your body after another kiss to your swollen lips.
She pulled your underwear down your legs soothing her hands over your thighs before pushing them apart. Making a point to leave the shirt on. Part of her felt like she shouldn’t be rushing. But she was desperate to taste you.
The noise that left your mouth when she parted you with her tongue was heavenly, she felt addicted in an instant. She wanted to hear it again. Over and over. She never wanted to hear a single other sound for the rest of her life. It paired with the look on your face had a small shuddering breath passing her own lips, in complete and utter awe of you.
She had wanted to draw it out, to have you writhing and whimpering and wreck you for anyone else. But the sounds you were making and the blissful look in your eyes… she was desperate to make you come. Desperate to see what you’d look like, what sounds that would draw out of you. Maybe it was a little selfish, but she didn’t care.
Your taste flooded her tongue and she was like a starving woman eating for the first time in days. She was feral.
Her arms looped around your thighs to keep you in place and she went to town. She wanted to feel you coming on her tongue, wanted to see the exact look on your face, know the taste.
She felt like she could stay there for hours. Days. Weeks. Trapped between the pillowy flesh of your thighs, senses flooded with you. Your taste on her tongue, your moans in her ears, soft skin beneath her fingers.
Your fingers pulled at her hair, whining her name in a way that made a smug smile creep its way onto her face.
“ you know it’s… it’s been a while so- “ you attempted to form a sentence, gasping and arching your back in between your words “ I don’t think I’ll last- fuck Tess “ that was practically music to her ears. And a lively boost to the ego that she had you on edge already.
“ that’s okay sweetheart, you wanna come for me? Yeah? “ you eyes were screwed shut and you nodded quickly, pushing her face closer to your cunt again which made her smile “ I got you”
It was only another minute or so until you were pulling almost painfully at her hair, holding on for dear life as you came on her tongue. You were stronger than she’d expected, managing to trap her head with your thighs even with her holding them, keeping her in place until your body went slack and she she came up gasping for air. With the biggest fucking smug grin on her face.
She looked up at you from her spot between your legs, admiring the blissful look on your face, the droplets of sweat along your sternum, her shirt still hanging open on you.
She made her way back up to your lips with a trail of kisses. Wet, soft, open mouthed kisses that made goosebumps rise on your skin.
“ you good? “ she asked, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips
“ good doesn’t even cut it “ she laughed as you beamed a smile, open your eyes to look up at her “ I wanted you to do that after the market “
“ I know you did “ she’d wanted to do it too. But she’d stopped herself like the idiot she clearly was. She moved to lay beside you, still watching you closely. She wanted to remember every detail of you. No matter how painful it would be. She wanted to remember.
“ you know what else I wanna do? “ you said, shuffling closer and trailing your hand along her waist and across the front of her. She grabbed at your hand before you could move it any closer, effectively stopping you in your tracks
“ please let me “ you whispered, eyes wide and glassy looking up at her like she was the last woman on earth. She wasn’t used to being looked at like that. Even with you. Even with you who had never looked at her with anything but some seemingly deep rooted adoration and affection. Never fear.
“ you don’t have to “ it was rare she let anyone reciprocate. She didn’t like the way it made her feel so… exposed. Vulnerable. Like some baby animal being lured into a lions den ready to be mauled to death.
You reached up with your other hand, gently brushing her dark hair away from her face and behind her ear. She didn’t entirely know how to react. She didn’t now what to do with such tenderness. It made her brain flash with an error code like some janky 90s PC. Her mind coming up blank when confronted with such care and compassion.
“ I know I don’t have to. But I want to. Please “ she was used to people wanting to please her. She could have any fucker running doing whatever she asked if she dangled a bag of pills in front of them, like donkeys working for carrots. But someone wanting to please her like that? To give simply because they felt like that, to not expect a single thing in return.
She didn’t know how to respond. Simply looked at you in silence. You seemed to see the cogs coming to a grinding halt in her head, eyes flickering over her face.
“ you’ll let me Tess? “ she still didn’t really now what to say. And it was starting to piss her off. She always knew what to say. She always knew what to do. But not with you.
You pushed lightly at her shoulder, urging her to lay on her back. And to her own surprise she found herself doing it, head falling against the pillow and your face re appearing above hers. That alone felt a little wrong. She never let anyone on top. Ever. Never sacrificed that power to anyone.
“ after all you’ve done for me “ you whispered against her lips, nudging your nose to hers “ you deserve something in return. Let me make you feel as good as you made me feel “ she could feel small tendrils of panic starting to wind their way up into her chest, twisting around her ribs and tightening. So she took back some control, hand slipping to the back of your neck and pulling you down to kiss her as hard as she could manage.
She knew you weren’t about to do anything bad. But it was simply the act of letting someone have her so vulnerable to them. It terrified her.
“ trust me “ you whispered in between kisses “ you trust me don’t you? “
“ yeah “ she surprised herself with how quickly she said it, how unbelievably certain she was of the fact. That she did trust you. In the weeks since you’d woken up she’d grown to trust you as much as she’d trust Joel. Maybe she was stupid for that.
She took a sharp intake of breath as your hand pushed past her underwear, fingers dipping into the wetness between her folds and softly circling her clit.
“ see, you’re wet. Pretty proud of myself for that “ you were trying to lighten the mood and it helped a little. A small smile trying to creep its way onto her face.
She was used to her own fingers and only her fingers. But yours were something else. Those soft gentle hands that she had felt looked so out of place in an apocalypse, felt like velvet. You watched her face intently and she almost felt embarrassed, it was odd for her. To be so exposed and so closely observed.
You slipped your fingers inside of her with ease, her eyes falling closed as she attempted to steady her breathing from the intrusion. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d let someone do that, she’d forgotten how it felt. It was nothing like how it felt to do it herself.
You were reaching places she never could, breathy sounds escaping her even when she tried to stop them.
“ I wish you could see what you looked like right now “ your voice was almost awe filled, like you were simply amazed the sight of her. Maybe you were
“ shut up “ she said, breathless, pulling you down to kiss her again in some attempt to change the subject. Not wanting the attention on herself, sinking her teeth into your bottom lip to make you whimper into her mouth again.
She figured she’d be done just as fast as you had been, especially when you seemed to know exactly where to touch. You hit some place devastating, the tight knot in her belly growing and growing
“ fuck. Stay right fuckin there “ she gasped, fingers gripping your wrist as you did as she’d asked. Focussing on the same spot over and over again. She kept her eyes on you. Kneeling over her, in her shirt, the sight alone was enough to finish her off.
She pulled you down to her mouth again, scared she’d do something embarrassing like make noise, kissing you as she came on your fingers. Holding you firmly in place as her walls convulsed around you and her body rushed with heat, every muscle tensing before going limp and leaving her feeling like a rag doll.
She was breathless as she let you go, her skin on fire and prickling with heat.
“ well fuck me “ she mumbled. Throwing an arm over her eyes for a moment and to her surprise, laughing. You giggled beside her laying down and slinging a leg over hers, both your skins slippery with sweat. But she didn’t care.
“ I just did didn’t I? “ you said in the most innocent tone, simply making her laugh again. You both settled into a comfortable silence then, lazily kissing until you dropped your head.
As you both lay there, your head resting on her chest and hand over her heart, she almost wanted to cry. Which was fucking stupid. She didn’t cry. That wasn’t her.
“ you know you’re still gonna have to leave “ she whispered “ it’s not safe for you to stay here “ she felt your breathing stutter slightly and she knew you were crying. But she didn’t mention it. Didn’t want to embarrass you or risk making herself cry too by acknowledging it “ you know you still have to go “You gave a small nod. You knew. You knew this was always going to be the outcome, both of you did.
“ yeah. I know “ she was silent for a few minutes before gently pushing at your body, urging you to turn on your side. She pressed herself against your back, her arms sliding gently over your waist and her nose nudging lightly at the back of your neck.
“ couple more hours “ she whispered against your skin “ couple more hours. Then I’ll take you to the wall… couple more “ you rested your hand over hers and nodded again, tears welling in her eyes as you did. She refused to let them fall. She wasn’t that pathetic.
“ couple more hours “ you echoed softly, voice barely above a whisper in some attempt to hide the evident crack in your tone as you seemingly failed at keeping the tears in “ just a couple more “
#this took ridiculousy long to transfer but here you go#tess servopoulos x reader#tess servopoulos#tess tlou#the last of us#tlou#the last of us fanfic#x you#smut#fluff#Anna torv#other characters for exposure:#Joel miller#Ellie Williams#Tommy miller
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pretty girls don’t cry
— you love leon but as you reflect on your past with him, maybe it’s best it’s over, a blurb
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an: i’m sorry this is so sad, and not a oneshot. i have two that are almost finished. inspiration struck at 3am, yall know how it is.
you don’t even know where it all went wrong. where the love turned to hate and everything twisted around and mulled like an ugly beast waiting to strike.
it made you sad, not able to pinpoint the exact cause of everything that shattered around you. you’d loved leon for as long as you’d remembered and that was all you’d known.
and in the deep dark part of you that wanted to hate him, thought that maybe he’d planned this out all along. made you some weak little girl without any fight left on purpose. you knew that wasn’t true, you were both broken but…
you didn’t know if it was something you said, something you did and the feeling in the pit of your gut never really went away. memories of that night echoed in your skull like an angry ocean, crashing against the shore.
“you can’t keep doing this to yourself. you’ll die.” you said, thinking you sounded brave in the words you said. that maybe this would give him some strength to change. foolish, you think now.
to think you could change a man, a man you loved no less. a man you put your heart and soul into for years, a man that was such a part of you, that it physically pained you when he walked away.
“you’re not my fucking mother! fucks sake! stop being so damn controlling.” you heard him reply back, yelling and shaking every bone in your body. a side you’d never seen before. a side you despised. you hated it, you wanted to hit him and smack some sense into his gorgeous face.
and the venom that spewed from your mouth wasn’t any better, “don’t be such a child! i’m just trying to help you! you should be thankful i’m still around!”
and you saw the frozen air still around the both of you, cracking and breaking like shards to glass. you should have just kept your mouth shut, not said anything. but were you wrong? no, you weren’t.
but that still didn’t stop the ache in your bones and your chest, your eyes were red and heavy with tears. so damn tired of crying, but can’t bring yourself to stop. you hated him for making you like this, so weepy and sad.
“pretty girls don’t cry.” he had mumbled to you into your skull one day, caressing your hair. this was before everything had gone south, when he actually cared enough to console you.
fuck you, i am crying and it’s all your fault. you think now, cursing him as if he were actually around and not just a ghost haunting your bones and memory.
but you couldn’t help it, he’d left, taking a part of your heart with him. he ended things, you needed him too and you hated admitting that maybe he wasn’t right for you. he changed.
you fought hard, you tried to change him, to hold onto that man you fell in love with so many years before. it was hard to just learn to live without him, to breathe air. but you managed in a way, breathing on your own and just surviving without a life raft.
you needed him shamelessly, even when he walked away and cut things off, when he was the one to leave you in pieces. to make you hate him with every fiber in your body, but you couldn’t hate him fully. he taught you how to love so many years ago.
and you couldn’t unlearn something so visceral and such a deep part of your soul. you just couldn’t bring yourself to, not knowing that he was out there. that he was breathing and living and trying as hard as you to forget.
it was painful, it was a sharp reminder that love wasn’t easy and that pain comes with it. even when you would eventually see him again, maybe find your way back to him. that the pain would still reside, along with the love.
glass shattering, broken promises, lies. they all piled up in your way like a blockade as you unraveled leon from your body. in every aspect of your life, he was tangled within you, a part of every part of who you were.
it was scary, to see someone change right in front of you and not be able to do a singular thing about it. all you could do was watch, try and help. and even in your case, that wasn’t enough.
he still left and you still hoped deep down he would come back to you. that he would apologize and that maybe, maybe he would care about you again.
but even if that did happen, you didn’t know if you could let yourself.
and that was even scarier.
an: if you guys want to request blurbs now, you absolutely can now. as well as headcanons, pls repost <33 i hope u guys enjoyed. i love u all so much. kisses xx
#leon kennedy#leon x reader#resident evil vendetta#vendetta leon#leon kennedy au#leon kennedy x you#leon kennedy imagine#leon kennedy fic#leon kennedy drabble#leon kennedy x reader#leon kennedy fanfic#angst#leon kennedy angst#resident evil x reader#re2 leon#re4 remake
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Here is my role reversal AU where the Kittisawats are the powerful mafia family, and the Theerapanyakuls are the poor brothers cousins trying to survive. Also they’re all sex workers.
Tankhun is the overworked and overstressed eldest trying to take care of his family. Korn is a sick old man, likely to die any day now, and Gun is their shady, unreliable uncle who takes advantage of his brother’s failing health and the boys for his own gain. He’s part of a low-level gang; robberies, muggings, minor car theft. Nothing that would get the attention of actual organized criminals. A scumbag.
Kinn and Vegas are the primary supports. Tankhun does his best, but he’s got his own trauma to work through. Kinn is the bartender fucking patrons for extra tips; Vegas is just a prostitute, and he doesn’t try to hide it. He also deals drugs on the side, and sometimes is forced into helping with Gun’s crimes. First as a lookout when he was young, then as an active participant. Kinn and Khun both fight with him about his methods. Kinn, because he thinks Vegas is reckless, getting involved with his father like that. He won’t be able to avoid the police forever if he keeps engaging in violent crime. Vegas thinks none of them can afford to be scrupulous with their morals, and none of them can deny that he delivers.
Tankhun, a former prostitute himself, until he was kidnapped and… had a bad time… scolds Vegas for being so reckless with his own sex work. He’s terrified of anyone in his family going through the same things he did. Now he’s agoraphobic as hell, terrified of strangers, and only manages to pull himself together for the sake of his family. He still does sexwork, but now he’s just a camboy; there isn’t much else he can do that doesn’t require him to leave the house, when he’s a college drop-out with no qualifications or marketable skills.
Kim’s bright plan was to become a YouTube sensation, get famous, and make it so none of his family ever has to work again. It doesn’t pan out quite that way. He does have and maintain a channel for his music, sharing recording equipment with Tankhun, but it’s small time. He does have a significant amount of subscribers; between that and his patreon, it’s not enough to live off of, but it’s enough for him to put himself through school. Anything extra he gets goes towards his family; Tankhun always tries to protest, but Kim can see the way some of the tension leaves his eyes when he doesn't have to worry about the month’s bills. Unlike the elder cousins, the closest Kim ever comes to sex work is playing his guitar shirtless on his patreon. Maybe a couple times people have offered to pay him for ~extra services~, but he just can’t bring himself to do it.
Macau is still in high school. He tutors people for extra cash (read: does their assignments for a hefty fee) and helps Kim edit his music/videos. Wants to be a DJ someday. The two of them are close, as the babies of the family. Closer than Kim is to his own brothers, but the same can’t be said for Vegas; he and Macau are thick as thieves.
One day Kinn gets a job as a personal bartender. He doesn’t bother trying to hide that he’s working for Porsche Kittisawat, and Kim isn’t shy about calling him a kept boy. He doesn’t begrudge his brother the choices he makes, he just wishes Kinn didn’t have to make them. Kinn puts up a good front, but Kim knows the craves the intimacy of a lasting relationship. He’s desperate for something real. To love and be loved. Kim is too jaded to stake any belief in finding something like that.
Then he meets Chay.
Chay is actually a fan of his. A very generous fan who regularly makes sizeable donations. Kim owes his upgraded recording equipment to Chay’s generosity, though he has no idea who his online benefactor is.
Kim is local talent. Sometimes he gets called to play small shows every once in a blue moon. Kinn is pretty good at pulling the strings to get Kim booked at his club, courtesy of Porsche, who’s really making the offer on Chay’s behalf. It’s how Kim ends up meeting Chay. Not that he makes the connection.
Chay is in the crowd, watching him with more interest than he thinks he’s earned. Kim thinks it’s regular attraction, the kind he’s used to. Used to it dropping off when people get to see the real him too; his pretty face isn’t enough to make up for his ugly life, especially when his personality isn’t enough to act as a buffer. Kim buys him a drink after the show anyway. They talk, they flirt, Chay admits to being a fan, which is nice. Kim’s never been recognized before.
They start seeing each other. Kim still doesn’t connect Chay ro Kinn or to his favorite subscriber. Thanks to Kinn (and Chay’s) efforts, he keeps doing shows. Gets booked for better clubs as he proves himself able to handle it. He doesn't want to know what it cost his brother; he hopes it’s not too much, and Kinn always assures him he’s fine. He seems to mean it, and Kim is just selfish enough not to question it if it means his dream coming true. He starts promoting his shows online, and Chay is there at every one. Pretty soon that leads to seeing each other outside of shows, too, then going on dates.
It’s building towards something. But before they can fall over that edge, Kim finds out about everything. The mafia, Chay’s subscription, Chay getting him these shows. All but paying for him. Kim is devastated. He knew better than to trust Chay from the start, it was too good to be true, and now look at what’s happened.
He goes to his family.
Tankhun, shrewd as ever, tells him it doesn’t change anything just because he knows now. Vegas, ruthless, tells him to use Chay for everything he’s worth until the money dries up. Macau thinks it’s romantic; that Chay admired him from afar, only for them to meet by chance and fall in love. Except they didn’t meet by chance, and Kim isn’t in love.
Kinn understands, though. Kim didn’t expect him to. He didn’t give his brother enough credit. He thought Kinn would be like Vegas and Khun. Instead he tells Kim to follow his heart. He knows Kim isn’t like them, isn’t built for the kind of life where he can set aside his feelings and use someone else for his own gain. He’s too much of an artist for that.
Kim tells all of this to Chay, who says that he doesn’t want to buy Kim, either. If Kim doesn’t return his feelings, that’s okay. They can go back to the way they were. They can be friends, or Chay can just be an anonymous name on a screen. He wants to be with Kim, but he doesn’t want to pay Kim to pretend with him.
It’s exactly what Kim needed to hear.
#cookie writes#kimchay#kinnporsche#Kim thinks he's not a sex worker#surprise he becomes Chay's secret sugar baby and has no idea#(jk it actually causes A Lot Of Problems in their relationship)#(but that's a post for a later date)#Khun and Macau are also going to be adorable#love-hate relationship peak right thre#they fight all day long but then Macau is alone and afraid#Kim and vegas gone for the night#he curls up with Khun for comfort#i have So Many Feelings about this au#i've been percolating on it for week s#spinning it around in my brian#crunching on it#it's that good shit
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