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theblackestswan · 5 months

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Silent Desires | #2

Synopsis — There was a time when you pondered how you'd ever let it be known how much you desired Jungkook. But now? He's back. And he's not being silent with his desires anymore.

• Jungkook × F!Reader

• Brothers best friend, childhood friends to somewhat strangers to lovers, smut, fluff, and a bit of angst

• explicit language

• word count: 1k+

previous chapter

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The weekend had gone by fast. It was Friday when your car took a shit, and it was now Sunday. Jungkook had spent most of yesterday morning looking over your car, along with your dad and they both confirmed you needed a new transmission. You couldn't do much about anything on the weekend so you spent it mostly in your room, wishing your sorrows away.

But now you have an even bigger problem, you have to face. What the hell are you gonna do as far as work? Your car is more than likely not getting fixed anytime soon.

Transmissions aren't cheap, and even then, depending on the cost, it might just make more sense to get yourself a new car, with how old yours is. Neither of which you can afford right at the current moment, but if you save up more money this next month, you could at least start to think about it.

It was all too much. You didn't want to handle this, but you had to.

Pulling yourself out of bed, and decided it would be good to actually eat a full meal, you bring yourself to the kitchen, where everyone sits. Including him.

"Y/N! Good morning my sweet girl! Just in time for breakfast... how'd you sleep?" You gave your mom a side hug as she kissed your forehead.

"Eh, it was fine." You really weren't in the mood to converse. You sat yourself down across from Jungkook. Unfortunately (maybe not so) that was the only seat available at the table.

"Morning Y/N." Jimin said as he sipped his coffee.

"Good morning Chim," you looked at him and smiled. You looked at Jungkook and dropped the smile. "Morning to you too."

You probably should be treating him better. He did help you with your car, as well as spent his morning yesterday looking at it. And he hasn't asked for a single form of payment. And honestly, weren't you glad to see him again?

"Morning to you too, sweet cheeks." He flashed you a 'two can play this game' sort of smile.

You rolled your eyes and just in time, mom saved the day by placing a large plate of pancakes down. "Eat up! I made lots!"

Just as you went to reach for a plate to grab some food, he did the same. Your fingers touched and you were sure this was what it felt like to be electrocuted. It felt good? To feel his touch? No. Y/N, no. You're supposed to be upset at him.

You backed your hand away so quick, you would think it was a snake trying to bite you. "Sorry." You mumbled.

He just chuckled, grabbing a plate he asked, "How many pancakes do you want?" Huh? This man is not about to serve you food. In your own home, nonetheless.

"I can get my own." You stood your ground.

He chuckled again, but this time a little more dark. "I said, how many do you want?" His eyes were piercing you.

"And I said, I can get my own." You gave him the same smile he gave you this morning when he greeted you.

His eyes still staring into your soul, he spoke, "Y/N, you don't listen very well," he turned to Jimin, thank God. You couldn't take his eyes looking at you like that. "Chim, how many does she usually eat?"

Jimin looked at you and you flashed your eyes so fast to him to give him that look.

"She eats two, usually." This bitch ain't loyal.

Jungkook turned back to you and smiled. His way of saying 'Haha bitch, so you thought'. He put three pancakes on the plate and sat it down in front of you.

"I only eat two..." you mumbled.

"And I've noticed you haven't ate much this lately. So eat up." Wait, he actually noticed you this weekend? Yes, anyone in this house could know you mostly stayed in your room, but he noticed you were eating less? Which is true. When you're anxious you eat less. No one usually notices though.

How were you supposed to be mad at that? A silent 'thank you' left your mouth with a small smile.

The rest of breakfast went on like it normally does. Except for one more voice added to the conversation.

"So uh, I need to figure out that to do about getting to work. For the next little bit anyways." You really didn't want to bring this up, but you had to. Tomorrow was Monday, you had no other choice.

"Hun, we can get you a rental car. It's the least we can do." Your dad said. He truly was such a great dad.

"Dad, that's expensive. I don't want you wasting your money." You sighed. It was true. Although your parents were definitely well off, and could honestly just buy you a new car, you valued spending your own money. As much as you know your parents would help you out in a heartbeat, you were twenty three. You needed to do this on your own.

Before your dad could even counter back an argument, Jungkook spoke up.

"I can take you to work."

Oh no, I think the fuck not.

"Kook, I work 40 minutes from here. Not happening." Suddenly the argument with your dad, seemed like a better one to have.

"Y/N, I work around that area anyways, I can drop you off, and pick you up. It's not a big deal. Seriously." This big doe eyes were hard to resist. In every way.

"Look, you guys, I don't want to be a burden. Now please, can we talk about this seriously?" You were on the verge of tears at this point.

"You are not a burden Y/N, I promise you, it would do no harm for me to take you to work. Now c'mon." He looked at your even sterner.

"Kookie's right, sis. He does work near you. And your hours work perfectly. Just let him help." It was hard enough taking Jungkook's eyes piercing you, but your brothers too? You had a soft spot for Chim. He knew it, and he used it to his advantage for a lot of things.

Rubbing your face and wishing it would melt away, you sighed. "Fine! But only for this week. I just... need time to figure things out." You didn't even want to look him in the eyes.

"For as long as you need, I'm here."

Sure you are Jungkook. Sure you are.

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next chapter

A note from our sponsor: our girl’s heart and brain are having a game of tug a war 🙄 but Kookie is anything if not persistent! You can view this story on Wattpad if that’s more you jam. I may or may not be posting chapter 3 over on there tonight 👉🏽👈🏽

#Jungkook #jungkook fanfic #Jungkook smut #bts smut #bts fanfic #fanfic #jeon jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook x y/n #Jungkook au #jeongguk #bts jungkook #jk #jjk #Jungkook fic #silent desires #bts au #bts

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 9 months

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AITA for wanting to make my own decisions concerning my siblings future life?

I'll start by apologizing for my broken English, I'm not native to this language. I (26f) have 3 older siblings (30f, 32m and 34m), we all lived with my parents until this year. I've recently decided to move so that I can start to live with my boyfriend, this decision caused a huge fight which ended up in my mother making an impulse buy and deciding on a life for my siblings and me that I don't agree with.

I'll try to be succint here but I do think some background is necessary: all my siblings were born with severe mental disabilities and muscular dystrophy. While my country has public healthcare, their accomodations and appointments can very easily become a financial issue. For example, my parents house has been completely remodeled to fit their wheelchairs, they have had to partially pay for stairlifts and their cars are adapted to fit them and their wheelchairs too. They also require constant monitoring since they act and behave in the way of 5-8 year old kids.

My parents know (and knew back then too) that my siblings' conditions was hereditary and that trying for more children could lead to them being born this way. I've always had the feeling that they continued for more children solely because they wanted to have a 'healthy child' that took care of my oldest siblings and them when they were older. Even though I'm the youngest sibling I've always been treated like a third parent, I've always been expected to care for them like my parents do. Due to this, I've never gotten to enjoy my childhood, I never had time for friends, relationships or hobbies. Growing up like this also made me think about how I wanted my own life to be and I've thought about the future in a way that my parents will never approve of.

Last week I finally decided that I wanted to start living with my bf whom I've been dating for 2 years. When I told my parents they became very happy and congratulated me which made me very happy.

three days ago they offhandedly told me that my bf's garage door was too small to fit my siblings car and that we should start saving to fix his house's stairs so that my siblings' stairlift could be built. I was very confused and told them that my siblings would not be coming with me, their house can accomodate them just fine and my bf's house is way too small. They got very mad and told me that they had been caring for my siblings for a long time and now it was my turn to do it while they rested (they want to retire). I told them I deserved to have some intimacy and that I wanted to enjoy having a childless life for once. They told me that was very selfish of me since they have never been able of enjoying a no-children marriage (they had their first child very early on their marriage and have continued to have children until they had me). I told them that was their own decision, now it's only fair I get to make that kind of decision and it's not like I'm abandoning them, I will continue to help and visit constantly. They told me I was lazy and a terrible sister and daughter.

I cannot begin to explain how much of my siblings' raising was coparented by me, I've spent my entire life caring for them. I've missed up on friends, relationships, jod opportunities, etc. solely to continue to be their caretaker. As you can expect I was very mad but I still kept calm some more, I told them I love my sibligs a lot and would do anything for them but that I deserve to have my own life too. They continued to get even more mad and eventually told me they would disown me if I didn't allow for them to have a good retirement. I left before I could say something I would later regret.

Yesterday my parents apologized and told me I was right. Apparently they've been saving money for some time to help me take care of my siblings once they're gone. They want me to spend this money on a somewhat small one-floor house they have their eyes on, so that we can all live together at some point. I was very happy, I've always been under the impression that my parents expected me to 'deal' with my siblings (forgive my wording, I'm not sure what verb to use) on my own, so them having future plans involving me made me very pleased. However, today my mother called me and told me that she made an impulse buy and bought this house, here's the catch: she somehow looked at the numbers wrong and can only pay for a third of the house's actual price (this is a normal thing for her, she's not the cleverest person). She wants me to pay the rest (by taking out a mortage).

I have some money saved up, its not much since I can't work many hours due to spending most of my time helping my siblings. This money was always going to be used to care for my siblings. However, my plans have always been much different. In a nearby town there is a place that cares for people with disabilities. This place is expensive but it is very nice and it would cover all my siblings' needs. I want to register my siblings there. I love them, I really do, but I'm so tired. I want to have a life and make decisions for myself for once. I know my parents would hate this decision but they are not going to be around forever and then it'll only be me and my bf caring for them on a (actually very small) house having to deal with a mortage my parents can't help pay off. My siblings would probably be sad too but they will get used to this new place and its not like I'm going to leave them forever, I would visit them constantly. This place would probably genuinely take better care of them than me and would allow me to work more hours and earn more (which I desperatly need if I want to continue caring for them). While my siblings' government aid would help it is definetly not enough if I consider how many renovations the house will need and my sibligs' constant medical expenses. When I talked about my concerns with my parents they simply told me that all will be fine and didn't give me any substancial advice on how to deal with anything. I'm also simply not strong enough. They require constant monitoring, showering, dressing and moving them requires so much strength it often makes my body hurt and emotionally it takes a huge toll on me to come back from work to spend the rest of my time solely caring for them. We have nurses hired but it is expensive and mostly not enough.

I know my parents will forever hate me for this and I will make my siblings very stressed for some time, but they depend on me. They don't have much of a choice here which is why I think I am the asshole, Would I be the asshole if I cancelled the house purchase and left my siblings in my parents house for the foreseeable future? I want intimacy with my bf and to have my own life for some time, I would also continue to save to ensure my siblings receive the best treatment possible. I'm also not abandoning my parents nor my siblings, I will continue to visit, help financially, spent time with them and carry them to their appointments, just from a distance. Basically it would all be the same except, at the end of the day, I get to go home to my bf and spend some time for myself. At the same time, would I be the asshole if I decided to cancel the house purchase and instead opted to enter my siblings in a medical institution that can better suit their needs? my parents will never agree with my decision but they are getting older and weaker, soon they won't be able to help and then it will only be me. I know my siblings would prefer to be with me, I'm being selfish but, at the same, I think my plan may be the best one for everyone involved.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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pleasantlycrazyworld · 6 months

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Hi! Can I request reader x eddie when he comforts her after bad hairdresser appointment?

A few weeks ago it happends to me and my hair is now red but with brown in front part. Kinda alternative style but I wanted to be ginger so bad. Also hairstylist was the meanest person I've met. I spent there 10 hours, it was super expensive 😫

How Eddie would react?

I am so sorry you had that experience!!! I had a similar experience a few months ago and it was horrible!

Eddie knew you were super excited to go get your hair done. You had been saving for months and you went with your friends' advice and ended up making an appointment with a high-end stylist. It's been months since you A. got your hair done but also B. pampered yourself. Eddie tried to convince you to go and get your nails done and just spend the day spoiling yourself but you were already spending so much on your hair that you couldn't bring yourself to do anything else that wasn't necessary.

Your appointment was early in the morning, you wanted to go a completely different color so you knew you needed to get in as soon as possible to try and get it achieved. You woke up excited and positive. You were confident that today was going to be a great day!

Oh, how you were wrong.

You got there early and your stylist wasn't there yet, but you brushed it off since you were ten minutes early. The first red flag should've been when the time your scheduled time came and your stylist wasn't there. But again you brush it off thinking anything could've come up. Could be traffic, maybe they overslept, maybe they had a kid and were busy with that...but they do show up and you try to just shake it off. This isn't going to mess up your day.

It's been nearly 5 hours and you were starting to get overstimulated. (this happens to me all the time when I get my hair done!) You felt yourself getting antsy and could feel the tightness in your chest forming. You tried to suggest a break, and you made some excuse saying you needed the bathroom but your stylist just blew you off. "Just wait. If you go now we're going to have to start all over again" They snapped, rolling their eyes. You nod feeling tears starting to build. Your perfect day wasn't going the way it was planned, even though a break would help calm you down you couldn't handle having to go through this process again so you decided to just wait. It shouldn't be much longer....right?

It was so much longer! With how they sounded when you asked for a break you thought another 20 minutes tops not another 5 hours! By the time you were done, Eddie was blowing up your phone wondering if you were okay and if you really did have to pee now. You responded to Eddie saying that it just took longer to get your hair the color that you wanted and you'd be home soon. But as the chair turned around for you to look in the mirror you felt your heart drop. This isn't what you wanted at all! The tightness in your chest forms once again and tears race to the surface. Your stylist doesn't ask if you like it, or if anything needs to be fixed, they just yank the smock off of you and walk to the front to check you out. You stand up with shakey legs and run a hand through your hair. They scoff seeing you still back at their station, "Will you come pay? You've already taken my whole day I'd like to head home now." You take a deep breath trying to not burst into tears and go to pay before rushing to your car.

You sit in the parking lot for a few minutes trying to ground yourself before heading home.

Eddie hears your car pull in and he jumps off of the couch to greet you. You were gone all day and he missed you so much but he is so excited to see your hair, he knows how much you wanted a change, how excited you were, and how difficult it is for you to spend money on yourself so he was just excited for you. His smile drops however when he sees you walk through the door. You walk straight into his arms and try not to cry as he holds you. "Oh, baby..." He mutters as you fight the tears. "It's dumb really...it's just hair I shouldn't be so upset..." You explain through a cracking voice but he knows this is so much more than hair. "No no, don't think like that sweetheart, it's okay to be upset, it didn't go as planned. It's okay to be upset." He holds you and rocks you softly back and forth as you two stand in the hall. He kisses your head and smiles "It still looks super metal on you babe" He says grinning from ear to ear, "If you really don't like it in the morning we can go and get stuff to dye it at home" he softly suggest and you nod slowly taking in his words. Eddie loves you no matter how you look and he will do anything to make you not only happy with how you look but just happy in general. That is how Eddie ends up at the small corner store the next morning to pick up new hair dye and gloves, and that is how he ends up in your tiny shared bathroom that afternoon reading a pamphlet on how to apply hair dye.

It turns out he is really good at dying hair and he continues to do your hair whenever you want a change, sometimes if it's a color he really likes he will match you and dye a streak of his own hair that color. Which he loves so much! Now everyone knows you two are together even more than they did before.

Tagging: @emmyshortcake @sweet-villain @succubusmunson @ghosttownwherenoonegoes @thefreak0fhawkinshigh @zestychili @tiannasfanfic @lofaewrites @munsonology @bloodthirstybreedingbunny @eiightysixbaby @eddiemunsons-missingnipple @h-ness1944 @seatnights

I think that's everyone! If you want to be tagged let me know

#eddie munson #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson stranger things #eddie munson as a hair dresser??? maybe #stranger things #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson imagine #stranger things x reader #stranger things imagine #eddie munson blurb #stranger things fluff #stranger things blurb #eddie munson x you

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starlightandetherealshadows · 10 months

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ROs hobbies?

Hi lovebug! ✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡˚

I was SO excited for this ask, I love talking about the RO's hobbies and life outside of this hellish invasion. I've mentioned some of this stuff before, but I like having it all in one place. So thank you, sweet one! -`♡´-

♡ Ayana/Adriel:

A is a talented mechanic. When they had free time (rare for doctors but ya know), they would work on fixing cars. They have a motorcycle that is their pride and joy. It was going to the scrapyard, but A decided to pour time and money into getting it in working condition. I mentioned this before but A loves reading mangas and watching anime! A will blush if you talk about this, but A was a theater kid. They can't sing, but they used to act their asses off in the school plays. A is into rock-climbing!

♡ Zero:

Both male and female Zero grew up doing ballet and gymnastics. And they were good at it, like really fuckin good. Zero used to get bullied in school quite a lot, esp male Zero bc the whole "ballet is for girls" nonsense :( They can also sing (but they're shy about it) and they're a talented artist. Painting is their favorite art medium, but they also use their sketchpad a lot when they don't feel like getting paint everywhere. Z is good with little magic tricks involving sleight of hand (considering they used to make a living conning people....)

♡ Veronica/Vincent:

V is a classically trained cellist, but they don't have a cello on them, unfortunately. They're a voracious reader, which they bond with X over. V doesn't have their driver's license, so they used to skateboard everywhere. V did martial arts for many years, and has a plethora of gold medals and trophies from it. V likes photography too, and was on the cross country team in high school.

(of course, with V's memory loss, they can't remember much of this. It's a fuzzy memory of having certain skillsets, like riding a bike after years and realizing that you still know how)

♡ Cecelia/Chase:

C used to work in a bakery, so you can imagine how good their house used to smell. Other than baking, they used to collect baseball cards with their father and play baseball/softball themselves (D1, they're talented!) C can do tiny stick and poke tattoos. C knows how to do origami! They leave little paper objects and animals all over the safehouses, much to the amusement of the others. They know how to surf from summers spent on the beach.

♡ Xa'eks/Xa'veed:

X is really good at archery. They used to have little competitions with their siblings back on Nion 8. They're also really into plants and bugs, collecting and identifying them. When they first landed on Earth, X was so excited to explore and catalogue all the different types of foliage/insect life. X has quite the blooming garden in the alien's central city. They love classic literature. You can find X and V having heated literature debates that may involve screaming and cursing and threats of violence. X also loves board games and was fascinated by the idea of Monopoly. X likes puzzles, and that's how they passed time while waiting for, you know, their conquer-Earth orders for the day.

*see now I HAVE to write about the group playing a game of monopoly together.*

Thank you again for the fun question, anon!!!

All my love,

Cheye

#choicescript #choice of games #cog #ask: css #ask: answered #ask: RO

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ashcal99 · 1 year

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Certain Things : Leah Clearwater III

Chapter Three

"Something about you, It's like an addiction, Hit me with your best shot honey, I've got no reason to doubt you, 'Cause certain things hurt, And you're my only virtue"

Summary: Conner Swan moves to Forks Washington in hopes to help his sister Bella through her breakup with Edward. In hopes to find happiness again. He finds much more.

Warnings: Eventual smut (18+ only), mentions of death, depression, loss, antidepressants, general angst, slow burn, brief mentions of suicidal thoughts

Words: 5.1k

A/N: Comment if I missed any warning or anything plz thnx.

Soundtrack

Previous Chapter

Series Masterlist

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January 8th, 2006

Just under two weeks had pasted when Conner finally found the time to head out the rez and see Jacob. He had been busy the past week or so, working his new job at the diner. He had graciously excepted the waiting position offered to him, knowing that if everything went well, he may be able to move into the kitchen eventually. Friday he had gotten his first paycheck, it wasn’t much, but he was now able to pay the teen for his labor.

The small house slowly came into view as his truck rolled down the gravel road, coming to a stop next to the rusty barn that set a few hundred feet away from the house. Immediately, he spotted his sister’s old clunker of a truck, shocked to see she was here as well. He knew she had been getting out of the house more as of late, trying to appease Charlie. She had even gone out to see a movie with one of her friends just a couple days prior. Between Conner working and Bella’s winter break ending, he hadn’t seen much of the teen, but he knew for a fact that she had gone over to Jake’s the previous weekend to get her oil changed. To say he was surprised to see her here was a bit of an understatement, since he wasn’t aware that two teens really spent any time together besides the Quileutes’ visits into town to watch whatever game was on with Charlie.

Opening the truck, he plopped down to the ground, feet crunching the gravel as he stepped into the shed. “Hi…” He drifted off, looking at the two apprehensively. Looking down he saw two rusty motorbikes, Jacob working on one with a wrench while Bella sat by, keeping him engrossed in a conversation. Sending his sister a weary glance, he spoke. “What’s going on?” He asked hesitantly.

Bella sucked in a breath. “Hey, Conner.” She started, awkwardly fiddling with her fingers. “I just saved these two from the junkyard so Jake could fix them." She finished, throwing him a hesitant smile. She hoped the older sibling would handle this information well, considering the reproductions if he ever let it slip to Charlie what she was doing out here.

Conner stared at the girl incredulously. “You’re lucky I’m nice and won’t tell dad. He’d lose his shit if he found out about this.” He chastised the girl. “You know how he feels about these death traps.”

She nodded fervently. “I know, and I promise I’ll be carful. I’ll owe you big time if you keep it to yourself.” She bargained. “Besides, I’ve got a great teacher.” She said nudging the teen beside her, causing a bright blush to creep up his neck. Jacob looked down bashfully, muttering something unintelligible under his breath, continuing to tighten whatever bolt he was working on. Conner raised an eyebrow. Bella was flirting, and it kinda weirded him out. He wasn’t sure if she noticed she was doing it, but Conner quickly chose to ignore it.

The man reached into his jacket pocket, pulling a few folded bills, and reached towards Jacob, offering him the money. “Let me know if you need more for parts or anything. Charlie’s not very good with cars, so I’m honestly not too sure how much I should be paying you.” He said, dropping the money into the teens tanned palm.

“This should cover it. I think I know what part needs to be replaced, so I already pulled it from the junk yard, I’ll just need to see what else we might need before I head to the auto store.” He said, pocketing the money. “Let me just finish this one thing up, and I’ll take a look at it.” He finished, sending a grin to the man.

Conner stood, awkwardly teetering on his heels for a moment. ”Well, hope I'm not intruding, but I'm kinda stuck here until Jake fixes my truck, so..." he trailed off.

“Of course not Con. I feel like I’ve barely seen you lately, with you busy with work now.” Bella reassured, Conner sending her a smile in return.

"Yo, Jake, you in there?!" An unknown voice called, both siblings starting to gather their things to leave. They didn't want to intrude on Jacob's friendships. They would just take a walk or something to pass the time.

Jake put his hand up, stopping the two siblings ”No, it's okay." He paused shooting the two a smile. "It's-It's just my boys." He informed as two unfamiliar faces joined them in the shed.

"Hey Jake." The boy with long dark hair greeted.

"Hey guys-," Jake started, turning to the two teen boys. "This is Bella and her brother Conner." He gestured towards the siblings. "Bella, Conner, that's Quill and Embry." He introduced the new faces. Conner gave a small wave to the two.

Quill sucked in a breath, "So the bike building story's true." He said expectantly, giving Jake a small smirk.

Bella smiled. ”Oh-yeah-I taught him everything he knows." She joked back, earning a snicker from her brother.

The smirk widened across Quill's face. "What about the part where you're his girlfriend?” He asked teasingly.

Awkwardness flowed through the air as Bella stuttered out. "Uh-um, we're friends, you know?" Conner to smirked to himself. He had always found it hilarious seeing his sister so easily flustered.

Embry let out a a bark of laughter, "Hmm, burn!” He shot at Jake.

Jake stepped up, quickly trying to ease the tension from the room, shooting back, "Actually, remember, I said she's a girl and a friend." He said desperately.

Conner stood back and watched the interaction, an amused look adorning his features. The short haired teen's smirk widened as he saw his best friend trying to cover his ass. “Embry, do you remember him making that distinction?” He questioned.

"Nope!" The other quickly shot back, smirking as well.

Figuring he had endured enough embarrassment, Conner decided to stick up for Jake. "So, you guys have girlfriends. That's awesome." He stated enthusiastically, earning snickers from his sister and Jake. Jake's friends looked down in embarrassment, heat creeping onto their cheeks.

"Yeah, right," Jake paused letting out a deep laugh. "Quill's actually taking his cousin to prom." He stated, further embarrassing the boy.

"Yeah, that's still a riot." Giving a fake smile, Quill narrowed his eyes. "You want funny, Black? I'll give you funny." As the words left his mouth, he jumped forwards, taking Jake in a headlock.

Their playful fight earned them laughs from the rest in the room. "I've got five bucks on Quill." Embry said, gesturing towards the two boys.

Bella scoffed. ”You're on." She answered confidently.

“Well, I'm going to go see what Billy's up to-" Conner paused, looking over to the 'fight'. "Don't let them kill each other." He laughed, waving a goodbye to his sister before leaving the shed.

On his way over to the small house, Conner couldn't help but get caught up in the scenery. La push, though being a small dreary town, had always been absolutely beautiful to the man. He had always loved nature and going on hikes, and now that he was in the perfect environment for it, and he knew he would have to take advantage of the opportunity soon.

Shaking the thoughts away, he continued his trek towards the front door. He knocked lightly on the cracked wooden panel before entering, knowing from previous experience that they left the door unlocked for Billy’s connivence. As he walked into the living room, the man came into view. "Hey Billy! How've you been?" He greeted the man.

Billy looked away from the television towards Conner. ”I've been good, and you?” He asked politely, turning he head to send him a smile.

Conner smiled in return. “Better.” He assured. Walking to the loveseat sitting against the wall, he sat, sinking his weight into the warn cushion. “I got a waiting job at the diner in town.” He said.

Billy hummed in acknowledgment. “Yeah, Charlie told me last Sunday. He said you’re liking it so far?” He asked.

Conner nodded in agreement. “I honestly would stay doing that instead of finding a job in my field if the money justified it. I enjoy the human interaction.” He admitted. “Get’s my mind off of things.”

Billy sighed. “I know how you feel, son. It’s hard to distract yourself from the pain of loss. It’s pretty damn persistent, unfortunately.” He said solemnly.

Conner frowned. Sometimes he forgot about the accident that had left Billy unable to walk. He knew Billy had really struggled with the loss of his wife in the beginning, and he wondered if it had ever gotten easier for the man, or if he had just gotten good at hiding it. He reached his hand to the chain around his neck, seeking comfort in the coolness of the rings in his palm.

He looked towards the man, taking in the view of the wrinkles, thinking he that he looked much older than he was. He supposed pain did that to you. Behind his eyes, he saw that he was tired. Just tired from the consistent reminders of his loss, and he wondered if he himself looked similar. Conner thought he had learned to hide his pain fairly well over the past year, but maybe not. He didn’t want to imagine was his mind would be like without his antidepressants as it was already overwhelming enough. He sighed, shaking the thoughts from his head. Turning his attention to the football game playing on the television, he relaxed into the overly plush couch, letting his mind numb at the sound of cheers and whistles.

Halftime had just started as Jacob stepped back into view. "Sorry to interrupt. I just finished on your truck, Conner. You should have no problem keeping warm now.” He assured the man.

Conner smiled coming to a stand as he clapped a hand on the teen's back. "Thanks Jake.” He said. Bending over, a grabbed his jacket from the sofa, stretching the thick material over his biceps. Muttering a small “Goodbye.” To Billy, he made his was back outside.

He walked back to shed, pulling Bella into a light embrace, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “I’ll see you at home. Dinner will be ready at six okay? I’m making lasagna and you better be there.” He said jokingly stern.

Bella gave a small laugh. “Okay. I’ll be there. Promise.” She said.

Conner turned to the two teen boys that remained. “It was nice meeting you two.” He said giving the them a polite smile.

——————

Back at the Swan residence, Conner finished up preparing their dinner, putting the glass baking dish in the oven. Stepping back, he started to clean the mess he had made. He was almost done drying the now clean dishes, when the doorbell rang. His forehead creased, wondering who it could be, knowing it wasn’t Billy or Jake, considering he had just seen the two.

Rushing to see who it was, he tossed the damp dish towel over his shoulder, unlocking the door, and swinging it open. There stood a petite girl, long brunette waves, cascading over her shoulder’s. She looked just about as confused to see him as him seeing her.

Conner raised an eyebrow. “Can I help you?” He asked curiously.

The girl blinked, looking the man up and down quickly. “Um- yeah. I’m looking for Bella Swan? I don’t have the wrong house do I?” She asked, suddenly not too sure.

Conner clicked his tongue in understanding. So she was Bella’s friend. “You must be Jessica? I’m Conner, Bella’s older brother.” He confirmed.

The teen gawked at the man, looking him up and down incredulously. “Bella didn’t tell me she had a brother.” She started, sounding a pit peeved by the fact. “She left her coat in my car on Friday when we went to the movies.” She continued holding the heap of fabric out for the man to take. He reached forwards, taking the coat from the girl, his fingers brushing hers lightly. She blushed taking a wave of hair in her figures, twisting it flirtatiously.

Something about the way she was eyeing him made Conner wildly uncomfortable. She was practically undressing him with her eyes, and he held back the urge to recoil and slam the door in her face. He figured he should try being polite, in hopes to not scare off one of Bella’s only friends in the town.

He coughed awkwardly, attempting to shake the unease in his chest. “Well…” He started , scratching the back of his neck. Jessica’s eyes flashed to his flexing bicep, practically drooling at the sight. “I’ll make sure to give it to her when she gets home.” He continued, gripping the handle of the door tighter.

The buzzer for the oven, went off in the next room. Literally saved by the bell, he sighed in relief. “It was nice to meet you Jessica, but I have to get dinner out of the oven, so if you’d please excuse me.” He said, not giving the teen a chance to reply, before shutting and locking the door in her face.

On the other side of the door, Jessica huffed. She was annoyed at Bella for withholding such important information from her. There weren’t very many attractive guys in town, especially as hot as Conner. She turned, deciding in that moment that she would start putting more effort into seeing Bella outside of school. After Friday night’s stunt, she was sure that was the last time she would go out with the girl, but now she had something to gain. Even if she had to deal with her running off and taking rides with creepy men.

——————

January 16th, 2006

Bella’s mood had improved in the week that followed. It seemed as if spending more time with Jake had started to heal the gaping hole in her heart. Unfortunately, the nightmares seemed to be relentless, as the consistently haunted the teen almost on a nightly basis.

Conner woke one particularly horrible night, to the sounds of his sister’s tormented screams reverberating across the house. He sat, rubbing the sleep form his eyes, stumbling to the teen’s room.

Bella’s screams pierced his ears as he entered the room. Reaching to quickly switch the bedside lamp on, he hurried to her side, attempting to shake her awake. Her eyes shot open, darting around the room panicked. "You're alright, Bells. You're okay." He reassured, lightly shushing her. She let out a sigh of relief, laying eyes on her brother. The nightmares were over. She was okay now. As okay as she was going to be anyway. Cold tears streamed down her face, trying to brush the wetness from her cheeks. Bella sat up, grabbing a glass of water from the side table, taking a slow sip.

Conner clutched the dream catcher hanging from the bed frame as she continued to sip at the water. "I thought this thing was starting to work," he paused, resting it back against the headboard. "...but I guess not."

Letting out a sigh, he continued. "I do know what it's like, you know. When Mia died. I had a hell of a time. Imagined doing all kinds of stupid shit, just to stop the pain.” He confessed, gripping the two rings hanging from his neck.

Bella looked away feeling a pang of guilt hearing his words. Conner let out a heavy sigh as he questioned. "Can I ask you something?" Earning a nod from the teen, he continued. "Hanging out with Jake...that seems to take your mind off of things for a bit, doesn't it?” He asked, tilting his head slightly.

Bella nodded lightly in response, waiting for him to continue. "You know, sometimes... you gotta learn to live what's good for you. You know what I mean? I think Jake's good for you Bells." He smiled sadly at the teen. Bella looked into the eyes of her brother, seeing how tired he was. Not just physically, but mentally and emotionally too. She saw the waves of sorrow behind his big blue eyes. She hoped that he could find someone like Jake was to her. Someone to patch his holes and help him heal. Only time would tell, but until then, she would be there for him. She wouldn’t let the past repeat itself. Not again.

Clearing his throat quickly, he stood up and moved towards the door. "Okay... Go back to bed, I love you." Hearing a mumble of 'I love you too' from the girl, he made his way back to his bed, plopping down on the springy mattress. He let his head rest on the plush pillow, letting sleep engulf him once again.

——————

February 3rd, 2006

The month of January passed by in blur, Conner having picked up as many shifts as possible at the dinner. He had been working so many hours the past few weeks, he had saved enough money finally for a decent bed frame and even some new tires for his tuck. It had been pretty icy on the roads as of late, and Conner knew it was just a matter of time before the he started having issues with keeping control of the steering wheel.

It was a Friday night, and normally, he would be excited for the weekend, getting to spend time with his dad watching football games, but the Super Bowl was scheduled for that Sunday, so it meant no Friday night football. The Seahawks were set to play against the Steelers, so he had that to look forward to, but for now, he dreaded this day. Bella had asked him the week prior to join her and some friends to see a movie, and he had reluctantly agreed.

He never was a huge fan of going to the movie theater, much preferring to watch them in the comfort of his own home. However, seeing his utter lack of a social life, he had agreed to the join the group. In fact he had been looking forward to spending time with people closer to his age, even if they were a few years younger. Only later did he find out Jessica Stanley would be one of the teens tagging along. He had managed to avoid the girl since their awkward meeting the month previous, but now he had roped himself into spending a whole night with her. Backing out wasn't really an option considering that he had no valid excuse, so it was settled. It was going to be a very long night.

To add to the awkwardness, the only other people joining would be Jake and Mike. He wasn’t sure if his sister was blind or if she just chose to ignore the inevitable tension between the two, but it was painfully obvious that both boys were completely infatuated with the girl.

He had met Mike just a couple days prior when Bella had forgotten her lunch at home. He dropped off some food from the diner on his break, and had seen the love struck gaze of the boy. Bella being completely unfazed by the attention, it was clear to him that this was no new occurrence.

Bella let out an exasperated sigh as her brother pulled the truck into the small packed parking lot. Judging by the look on her face, she seemed to be dreading the night almost as much as he had been. This made him wonder why she had made the plans in the first place, figuring she most likely did it to appease Charlie. “You know, if you didn’t want to go, you could’ve just stayed home.” He muttered.

Glancing to the front doors of the theater, he spotted Jessica. Sucking in a sudden breath, he continued. “On second though, let’s go back now before they see us.” He spoke, Jake spotting the truck, sending the siblings a wave.

Bella saw this, sighing, she said. “Too late for that.”

Walking towards the ticketing booth he leaned his head down to her ear. “I didn't know Jessica would be joining us when I first agreed to go." He whispered to the teen, sending a playful glare in her direction.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that. She kinda just invited herself when she found out that you were going." She spoke, a grimace grazing her features. "She tends to jump on any attractive guy she sees.” She continued.

A smirk formed on the man’s mouth, "Oh, so I'm attractive am I?" He teased, earning a light punch in the arm.

"Don't be too flattered, she's into Mike." It was her turn to smirk now.

The older let out a puff of air, rolling his eyes. "Oh god, this night is more complicated than I thought." He said. Teenagers were so complex and dramatic. What had he gotten himself in to? Bella looked over, slightly confused at her brother's last statement, silently asking him for an explanation. Conner ignored the look, not wanting to get open that can of worms at the moment.

Suddenly, Jessica popped up beside him. "Hi Conner." She chirped, a grin plastered on her face. Gently cupping her hand on his opposite shoulder and pushing her body against the man's arm, definitely more than necessary, she gave him a very uncomfortable side hug. Uncomfortable for him at least.

Conner flinched away from the contact as his left eye began to twitch in annoyance. This was going to be the longest night of his life. He muttered a 'hello' back to the teen as he awkwardly tried to escape the embrace.

Looking up, he caught a glimpse of the tall boy with long brown hair, and saw this as good of an excuse as any to quickly flee from the overbearing teen. Jacob to the rescue. He thanked god for his height as his long strides rid him of the girl, her not being able to keep up with his fast pace. He clapped his hand on the Quileute's back, silently thanking him for momentarily freeing him.

Bella caught Jake’s attention as she walked up to the two, Mike and Jessica trailing behind her. "So I guess Jess and I will go get our tickets real quick, Mike already got his." Conner sent the girl a look of pure gratitude, knowing she was trying her best to keep Jessica away from him as long as possible. He looked over to the girl, the way she fluttered her eyelashes while trying her best to make her cleavage as prominent as humanly possible making Conner sick to his stomach.

Bella set off for the ticketing booth, Jessica reluctantly following. "So, 'Face Punch' huh? You like action movies?" Conner asked, quirking an eyebrow at Mike. He definitely did not look like someone that would spend his free time watching movies like this.

The teen blinked awkwardly. "Um, not really." He answered shortly, pursing his lips.

"I heard it sucks. Bad." The youngest stated, attempting to contribute to the conversation. So his suspicions were confirmed, they were both just here for Bella.

The blonde turned to Jake. ”Hey are you even old enough to see this movie?" He asked. "I mean, you know, without, like, adult supervision?" He added accusingly.

"Right, yeah." Jacob let out an irritated puff of air. "Well Bella's buying my ticket for me." He defended.

"She's buying it, okay” Mike said shortly.

An uncomfortable silence settled over the group that wasn’t broken until Bella returned. "Angela has the stomach flu and Eric's taking care of her, so I guess it's just us.” She said trailing off awkwardly.

Mumbles traveled around the group. Conner had a strong feeling Erica felt fine. He had to give the two props for coming up with a decent excuse as to not join them.

——————

Put your gun down!

Put your gun down or I'm gonna blow your freakin' head off!

So who ever had told Jacob that Face Punch was a horrible movie was absolutely correct. The movie pretty much consisted only of yelling and gore. Conner wondered if Bella had been strategic when picking the film.

Both of You! Put both of your guns down or I'm gonna blow both of your freakin' heads off!

Yeah, Conner could confidently say that he was not a fan.

Alright, let's do this!

Gunshots echoed around the theater, the sounds emitting out of the large speakers bolted to the walls. God, this movie was terrible. Mike seemed to agree as he stumbled out of his seat and up the isle, muttering. "Okay, I think I'm gonna throw up.”

Conner felt a bit sick himself, although it wasn’t exactly caused by the movie. Gore had never really bothered him at all. No. What was currently making his stomach turn was the teenage girl clutching to his arm with her head snuggled against him.

While Conner didn't want to be a dick and tell her to fuck off, but the subtle hints he had been dropping all night didn't seem to be helping him in the slightest. The girl didn't even seem fazed by his attempts at all.

He thanked whatever higher power there was in the universe when he saw Bella and Jacob stand to follow after Mike. Finally he had an excuse to leave the tight grip of his sister's friend. Once again, Conner widened his strides in attempt to lose the teen for at least a moment of free air.

"What a marshmallow." Jacob snickered as Conner caught up to the two teens. "You should hold out for someone with a stronger stomach. Someone who laughs at the gore that makes weaker men vomit.”He continued.

While Conner agreed, it was also painfully obvious to everyone but Bella that Jacob was trying to put himself ahead of Mike in whatever imaginary competition that they were in, his little sister being the ‘prize’.

Bella looked up at the boy.”Yeah, I'll keep my eyes open for that." Bella snickered lightly. "I feel bad. He probably has that flu that's..." She paused twisting around the corner near the stairs, her hand falling out of Jacob's grasp that Conner had just noticed. "...going around.” She finished.

"What? I can't hold your hand?” Jake asked offended.

Conner took the start of this conversation as a sign to stay out of it. He did not want to get involved in whatever boy drama Bella chose to be a part of. He sighed, as he went to lean against the wall between the bathroom and theater doors. Just as his back hit the wall, Jessica popped out of the theater door and hurried over to him.

"No of course you can." Bella reassured. Conner felt slightly bad about listening in on their conversation, but as much as he didn't want to be a part of the drama, he couldn't help but be curious of how this would pan out. "I just think it means something really different to you. So…" Bella continued.

Jake sucked in a breath. ”Okay, tell me something. You like me, right?" Conner's ears perked up. He definitely wanted to hear this answer. "And you think I'm sorta beautiful?" When the hell had Bella said that? If he wasn't listening before, he definitely was now, that was for sure. Consider his interest peaked.

"Jake, please, don't do this." She muttered. Jessica, hearing that bit of conversation between the two, slipped silently into the restroom, wispering something about freshening up to Conner.

"Why?" Jacob questioned. Conner was thinking the same thing. He knew Bella liked Jacob, he could tell. The two siblings were too close for the fact to go unnoticed by him.

Bella’s words came out in a rush. "Because you're about to ruin everything," She said, pausing for a moment."and... I need you." At this point Conner was just wondering to himself why she was making this so difficult for herself. She let out a sigh.

"Well I've got loads of time." Jake answered. "I'm not gonna give up.”

"I don't want you to." She shot back. "but, it's just because I don't want you to go anywhere." That was a load of bullshit and Conner knew it. No matter how hard she tried to convince everyone else and maybe even herself, his sister had real feelings for the younger teen and he knew it.

"It's- It's really selfish." She continued. "You know, I'm not like a car that you can fix up. I'm never gonna run right." As much as this saddened the older brother to hear her confess, he couldn't help wonder if that part was true. For her sake, he hoped not.

"It's because of him, right?" Conner could only assume that the 'him' Jacob was referring to was Edward. While Conner had only ever met the guy the one time, not really getting to speak to him at all, he knew that if he ever had the chance to see him again, he would kick his ass. He had broken his little sister's heart, and he wasn’t happy about it. "Look, I know what he did to you." Did he? "But, Bella, I would never do that. I would never hurt you. I promise. I won't let you down. You can count on me." He ended.

Mike emerged from the doorframe of the restroom. "Well..." He started awkwardly. Conner pushed himself off of the wall, deciding it was time to join the group down the hall.

"I need to go home." Jacob glared at the blonde expectantly. "I'm- I was feeling sick before the movie, okay?" Yeah sure.

Jacob's glare only intensified. "What is your problem?" Mike asked, throwing his hands in the air exasperatedly.

"Right now?" Jacob asked. "You are my problem." he stood up, answering his own question. "Felling sick?" He started again. "Maybe you should go to the hospital. Do you want me to put you in the hospital?” He threatened.

“Woah, Jake. The movie's over, calm down." Conner interjected, seeing Jake's anger.

"Jake, you're really hot." Bella said suddenly, causing both her brother and Mike to raise an eyebrow. What the fuck? "Like, you feel like you have a fever. Are you okay?" She added.

"I don't know what's happening." He said, confused momentarily. "I gotta go.” Then, before anyone knew it, he had stormed out into the parking lot.

It was uncomfortably silent for a moment, Jessica coming out of the bathroom looking, if possible, more confused than all of them, not hearing any part of the previous conversation.

"That dude is weird." Mike stated exasperatedly.

Next Chapter

#leah clearwater #leah clearwater x reader #leah clearwater x m!reader #leah clearwater smut #twilight smut #twilight #edward cullen #eventual smut #charlie swan #bella swan #slow burn #forks washington #la push #Jacob black

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alextheavoidant · 7 months

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I posted this as a reply to someone on YouTube under a video about the 8 Passengers situation. Thought I'd share it here because why not.

I feel like I should put a trigger warning here as this post discusses child abuse, but now that I think of it my whole blog probably needs a trigger warning...

Post:

I was also badly abused growing up and this is something I'm just now starting to come to terms with. My parents were divorced when I was five and my father claims he tried to get custody of my siblings and I, but the truth is he didn't want to be a single father and having three little kids to take care of would have gotten in the way of his drinking and partying lifestyle. I never knew my mothers side of the family because she's pretty much been estranged from them since before I was born. But I remember when my sister died from a drug overdose the whole side of my dads family were suddenly so sad about what we went through growing up and would say things like "We tried to give you some sense of normalcy. We always invited you to Christmas and the holidays." As if they were doing us some kind of favor for letting us come to family gatherings.

The worst part is I didn't have to wonder if they knew. I knew they knew because I remember being very vocal about what was happening to us our entire childhood. But every time I tried to tell someone it seemed like they would either turn away and pretend they didn't hear me or make some kind of joke like "Oh yeah, that's your mother. She's crazy. Ha ha ha." or a dismissive "Well, she's the only mother you're ever gonna have, so you gotta love her." or what I feel is one of the most damaging things you can put in an abused child's mind, "I know it may not seem like it, but she loves you in her own way." No one seemed to be worried back then.

The other worst part is instead of being understanding about the ways the abuse has effected us and maybe trying to help us get our lives together, these same people who turned a blind eye to it now have the audacity to judge us for not being "successful", their definition of success being having a great career, lots of money, nice house, nice car, nice marriage with three perfectly behaved, straight A students. We're supposed to be perfect like all of them pretend to be. Just supposed to magically not be affected by any of the abuse and neglect we suffered growing up so that they can pretend it never happened so they don't have to feel guilty about the fact that they knew we were living in a house with a raging alcoholic without food and clean clothes half the time and they did nothing about it. It wasn't *their* responsibility to protect us. Now that we're adults its *our* responsibility to fix ourselves and stop "playing innocent", blaming the family and making them look bad. The only reason we can't is obviously because we're just too inherently defective. Because of course we are. We're "just like our mother". We have her genes. And the kicker? I'm constantly told to "rise above my raising" while also being told I'm "screwing up" my niece because I can't afford to take her out to eat all the time and shit like that. Literal mind fuck.

And yet, the most bizarre part is, the more progress I make in my recovery, as I have been diagnosed with several mental health issues including a severe anxiety disorder (AvPD), the harder and harder they seem to want to come down on me. Like it's not enough that I've spent years in therapy trying to get my life straight, that I'm raising AND homeschooling my sisters child, whom she abandoned long before she passed away. It's not enough just that I survived that hell and I'm still here and I'm not an addict or in jail or on the street. I'm just not getting better fast enough, and that annoys them. They don't want to hear about my recovery because they don't want to acknowledge how fucked up I actually am, and how much work its taking to even try to achieve some sense of normalcy, let alone have a "successful" life and career, according to their standards. My very existence is a stain on the security blanket of lies they wrap themselves up in so they can sleep at night. And they really don't like that.

#blog #mental health #abuse #child abuse #trauma #survivor #abuse survivor #trigger warning

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koronasshortstorys · 1 year

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Jack and David's First Christmas

It was the week before Christmas, and all through the city, the streets were bustling with holiday cheer. For Jack and David, this was their first Christmas together as a couple, and they were determined to make it extra special.

They had spent the last few weeks scouring the city for the perfect tree and decorations, and on Christmas Eve, they finally put the finishing touches on their cozy little apartment. The tree twinkled with lights and ornaments, and the smell of gingerbread cookies filled the air.

As the evening drew to a close, Jack and David settled onto the couch, wrapped in blankets and sipping hot cocoa. They talked about their plans for the future and all the adventures they wanted to have together.

Just as they were getting ready for bed, there was a knock at the door. Jack opened it to find a man standing on the doorstep, looking a little worse for wear.

"Can you help me?" the man asked. "I've been stranded in this city for days and I have nowhere to go."

Without hesitation, Jack and David invited the man in and offered him a warm meal and a place to sleep. They learned that his name was Michael and he was on his way home to see his family for the holidays, but his car had broken down and he had no money to fix it.

Feeling a sense of Christmas spirit, Jack and David decided to do something special for Michael. They spent the next few days searching for a way to help him get home, and finally, on Christmas morning, they surprised him with tickets to a bus that would take him straight to his family's doorstep.

Michael was overwhelmed with gratitude and tears of joy streamed down his face. "Thank you so much," he said. "I don't know how I'll ever be able to repay you."

"There's no need to repay us," Jack said, grinning at David. "This is what Christmas is all about - helping others and spreading joy. We're just glad we could be a part of your holiday."

As they watched Michael depart, hand in hand, Jack and David knew that this was going to be a Christmas they would never forget. They had discovered the true meaning of the season, and it filled their hearts with love and happiness.

#christmas #feel good #short story #romance #light novel

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marcholasmoth · 1 year

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OSRR: 3052

today was really productive.

i woke up to my alarm this morning! and then i fell back asleep. and then i woke up again not too long after! and i took my meds because i'd brought them upstairs with me last night because i knew i wasn't gonna wanna get out of bed to go get them but i needed to take them still, so i kept them by my bed. which was a great idea.

and then after taking then i fell back asleep again for an hour.

when i woke up, it was about 11:30 and mom asked me for help decorating, which i was planning on doing anyway, so i got up and showered and made my way downstairs to help decorate. mom gave me a working time of 45 minutes so i could get to work on my paper, and in that hour we got stuff organized and put up and problems solved and i'm pretty happy with how things look, even though we're definitely missing a box of greenery. i have some lights to put up soon, so hopefully the snow we've gotten today melts. which i doubt it will very much, but tomorrows supposed to be in the mid 30s and it'll be in the 40s later this week, so it probably will. who knows.

anyway, i spent the day editing the 54-page group document for our capstone. as the 4th person exiting it, i was shocked to see how many problems were left. repeated words, improperly hyphenated words, and missing citations, along with poorly formatted end citations, which i fixed all of, some of which entirely. that was fun.

but i got it done in time for our 5pm class meeting before our presentation tomorrow, so that was good.

and then i volunteered to cover the small business section. so i gotta do that tomorrow. eh.

and after dinner, after i finished up doing some other things and looking at rings because mom saw that someone got engaged and i was like "i picked out the ones i want, wanna see?" so we looked at them for a while.

i also helped mom move some empty boxes out of the way so it's less cluttered around the house, and james took our cars one by one to fix them in some way, and i learned i'll need new brakes which shouldn't be terrible, and i'll need a new something else which i anticipate being more expensive. but the good news is that i have some money i can use to pay for things, so that's good. it was nice being able to pay for tires myself.

and then, after all that, it had started to snow, and i switched tasks to the discussion posts i had left to do for my capstone. i had my textbook open so i could understand what i was supposed to be looking at, which didn't end up helping so much as google searches and looking at what my classmates commented. so i got all of those remaining posts done, so the last thing to do for my capstone is that presentation tomorrow. and then it's done. and all i'll have left is the few pieces that go to my paper for my other class. and then i'll be done. i'm so excited.

in the meantime, i've been so busy i haven't texted joel in a couple days, but i have thought about him. mostly in passing, though, like "joel would enjoy this," or "this reminds me of joel," and most frequently "i miss my joel :c" but i haven't reached out besides the other day of asking "do you need anything." i assume he's okay. he would tell me if he weren't, if for no other reason than he'd need a ride somewhere or need someone to watch the dog for a bit. joel is funny, but i understand. how babies have object impermanence, i have people impermanence. if they're not there and i'm not constantly reminded of them, i forget they're there. so i understand not reaching out. it's just. people don't exist if they're not in my top messages on here, facebook, snapchat, over text, or on discord. womp womp.

oh well. i'm fine. just tired. time to sleep.

#molly rambles #operation srr #osrr #3000s #3050s #sunshine boy

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butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway · 1 year

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Oh no, that part's definitely true. Pretty much whenever I wake up these days my first thought is how much I dislike myself and wish I'd just end it already. For a while I tried to replace it with at least focusing on how much I like my friend and want to help her out, but it's drifted back

So yeah, not wrong on that front

As for financial planning, about half of it is just having a house. Couldn't do what I do if I had rent or a mortgage. Like it's frustrating how much of my generation and younger just can't afford it, cause it makes such a difference

Also kind of... between not having money and my mom being a hoarder, it makes it so I just know that not spending money to begin with is so much of the battle. Of course, you still need an income but in theory I've saved...

$1.2k a month from my apartment I needed to avoid living in the trailer, $400 a month for the storage unit, $400 a month for her car loan I dropped my last $10k on to pay off (my grandma got pissed at me for that), $700 a month at least for the lot rent (my grandma was really really pissed at me for getting the house and her not having to pay my mom's lot rent anymore)

Next goal is to figure out how to between insulation and finding a heating solution for the house so I can get off propane cause it's so expensive (HVAC doesn't extend to all of the house, so can't just get an electric furnace). Like even with the gas furnace the heat doesn't reach this floor, I have to use this electric radiator, which honestly may end up being the way to go once I've fixed the insulation

Other goal has been... less even getting rid of all the stuff my mom's hoarded, and more just getting it all into specific rooms. Almost done with that step, but it's been months and I haven't gotten this last room done cause it's just overwhelming

You should see the before and after photos though, of the rooms in my house, of the storage unit... of her trailer. Just didn't let a lot of the worst of it come with, that saved a lot of space. By worst I mean straight up... filth. Also solo lifted one of those adjustable beds into the dumpster we rented... that was something

Have a bunch of photos of the various stuff in my cleaning tag on here. No one really noticed... you know it's funny cause, I mean like followers on here don't matter, it's not what's important to have a good time, but it's just funny that I've got 801 as of checking now, and I still end up totally alone with that kind of stuff

Like I get it, it's more I wonder why people are following me in general. I guess the cats and landscaped I reblog for me, but why not go reblog from someone who doesn't have the periodic complaining about wanting to die?

...I said way too much again, didn't I?

Anyway, I hope you have a good day. Glad all the dogs are getting to have a nice group to play together with. Hope everything goes good for you this week, or as good as things can go

Honestly, in my experience, once you have more than maybe 100 followers max, engagement drops off real intensely until you get to an insanely high number of followers, so that doesn't necessarily surprise me.

I do hope you get to a place where you don't feel quite so obligated to others over your own well being (that's a LOT of money you've spent on others over the years) but I'm glad you're at peace with your financial situation.

#tw suicidal ideation #tw suicide

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xansmenagerie · 2 years

Text

Guardian

Dear diary,

Well, that's it then. Dead in a car crash. I can't believe it.

I've known Reuben since forever, since my parents moved us all here when I was a kid. Couple of years older than me but that never mattered. Sorted me out when one of the school bullies decided to have a go at me, we've been mates ever since. Were mates. Can't believe he's gone.

Well, that's it then. Dead in a car crash. I can't believe it.

Adam's going to go mental.

Dear diary,

Today has been...weird. No other way to describe it. Started normally enough - dropped Eva off at the print shop before heading to work, spent the morning doing boring spreadsheets (again), afternoon writing a presentation for the boss (lazy bastard). Mid-afternoon had had enough so convinced the boss that I could work at home (still can't believe I managed that). Walked out to the car, and there was the dog. Pathetic-looking thing, curled up under my car. Pretty bedraggled and skinny under all the hair. Licked my hand when I went to see what state it was in.

Well, what could I do?

The vet said that the dog was fine, or would be with a bit of looking after. Eva came and found me while I was still at the vet's - she works short days on Thursdays - and instantly fell in love with the hairball. She's always had a weakness for collies, and there's enough collie in the mutt to fill that need I guess. Eva had a word with the vet.

Looks like we've adopted a dog.

She's sort of been named in Reuben's memory. He had this WoW character, an elf chick called Tasha, and the mutt answers readily enough to it.

Heh. I'd forgotten how much that girl loves collies. Score one for the good guys.

Dear diary,

The print shop is closing down. Eva's losing her job. Money's going to be really tight. Most sensible thing would be to lose the dog, but...Eva's going to be devastated.

Fuck.

Lose the dog? Not likely. I can fix this.

Dear diary,

Ever get the feeling something out there is looking out for you? First off, Eva's found herself a new job already. Funny thing is she doesn't remember where she picked up the advert, only that she had it in her coat pocket. It's a photo processing shop or something like, so not that different to what she was doing before.

Second thing is just weird. I took Tasha out for a walk earlier, and while we were in the park she went running off into the bushes. Finally comes out with something in her mouth, wagging her tail like it was prime steak instead of a scrap of paper. Finally got it away from her without tearing it, and you know what? It was a lottery ticket, last weekend's. Five numbers. Bloody. Hell.

Not bad for a week's work, hey? I owe a few favours now though, one to a Pretty Important Person. Not sure how I can pay them back, but...I will. Honest.

Dear diary,

I had the weirdest dream last night. One of those really, really vivid ones where afterwards you can't decide if you were asleep or not except that what happened was too off to be real?

I dreamt that I went down to the kitchen for a drink in the middle of the night, and there was Tasha sitting in the living room doorway like she was waiting for me. Don't know how she was meant to be there when we shut her in the utility room at night, but dream logic. I leant over to pet her and next thing I'm hearing this voice in my head. “Adam,” it says, "We need to talk." That was when I knew things had all gone weird because it was Reuben's voice, y'know? That exact one he used to use when I'd done something a bit daft. And there was Tasha looking up at me with those big brown eyes of hers and the voice in my head saying, "Don't just stand there, you muppet, close your mouth and come sit down," and off she trots into the living room.

I followed her, of course. Dream logic. Sat down on the couch and she jumped up next to me, neat as you please. She never goes on the furniture normally, she's a great mutt that way.

“Adam,” the voice says, “what are you doing with the money?”

“Spending it,” I told the voice.

“I'm down here, Adam,” comes the voice, and Tasha whines slightly. “Now, you're not spending the money.”

“Yes I am, it's my money,” I tell the mutt.

“No, you're going to invest it the way I tell you,” and Tasha shows a bit of fang all of a sudden, “or you're going to waste it all.”

“I'm not taking orders from a talking dog,” I told Tasha.

“Yes, you are.” Tasha fixes me with a steely glare. “Or I’ll widdle in your shoes.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“I would. And that’s just the start of it. Trust me, Adam, do this the way I tell you and it’ll all come good, okay? Now go back to bed.” Tasha jumps off the sofa, trots out the door and I do as she said.

Course, this morning, I found the newspaper from yesterday open on the kitchen floor with certain companies circled on the financial pages...guess you do weird things in your sleep, some nights.

...

Can’t hurt to try, I guess.

He’s such an uncomplicated boy, Adam. Nice to know that even if I break the rules it doesn’t matter because he won’t understand what happened.

He’s such an innocent as well. He’d be prey to everything without me to keep an eye on him. Still, looks like that’s not going to be a problem for a very long time...

#urban fantasy #short fic #writeblr #writblr

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midgardianweasley · 3 years

Note

hiii i love your fics so much omg! anyway, i have a request that i've been daydreaming about that haha: nat and r get into a really big fight about smth (anything but cheating pls my heart won't be able to take that) and r kind of shuts down, and wanda & carol become super protective of her and follow her everywhere making sure she's ok. (and they're also glaring at nat any chance they get) but then nat comes into r's room one night and apologizes and they make up and snuggle and its soft hours

thank you so much! and of course lovely! here you go<33

Priorities

Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader

Summary: Natasha has been missing date nights, leaving Y/N embarrassed for the final time. When confronted, an argument unfolds, but can they come back from it?

Word Count: 4.6k

Warnings: some swearing, some self-neglect

Message/ask if you’d like to be added to the taglist! <3

“Another drink, miss?” The waiter in a smart, black tux asked you for the second time this evening, a part of you felt that it was out of pity as you sat alone at a table for two, and had been for the last two hours.

You were supposed to be meeting your girlfriend tonight for date night, you got all dressed up, makeup applied and hair styled perfectly, which had taken forever, only to be stood up. You wouldn’t have overly minded if this was a first occurrence, you would’ve brushed it off and rescheduled for another night. Which is what you had done, two missed date nights ago.

This was your third night of sitting alone in a crowded, candlelit restaurant as couples around you glanced over with a sympathetic gaze, which had only made you feel worse. Your girlfriend should be here. ‘Natasha should be here’, you thought. You looked up at the kind waiter, giving him a gentle smile before shaking your head.

“No, thank you. I think I'm calling it a night.” You spoke as you hurried to gather your things and get out of there as soon as possible, trying to hold back tears that you refused to let fall, not in front of all of these strangers. You hated this. You hated feeling so exposed. So vulnerable. You couldn’t help but feel anger bubble inside of you, thoughts of Natasha being the only thing currently plaguing your mind, most along the lines of; ‘What was her excuse this time?’ ‘Who is she with instead?’, but, there was one in particular that you couldn’t help but focus on.

‘She promised.’

You hadn’t realised you were crying until you were in the taxi, catching a glimpse of yourself in the rearview mirror when the driver had adjusted it slightly to see the cars behind you, in the process, you’d also caught her eyebrows raise in concern and it wasn’t long before she started conversation.

“You okay back there?”

You laughed somewhat bitterly, but it wasn’t towards her. “Nothing I can't handle.”

Your response didn’t seem to settle her worry as she turned quickly and shot you a sad smile before returning her eyes to the road.

“Boy troubles?”

“Girl.” You rubbed your face, trying to rid yourself of any tear stains that may be lingering and messing up your once really pretty makeup. Not that it really mattered at this point.

“Ah, been there.” She held up her left hand, showing you the shimmering diamond on her finger. “The wife and I have had our fair share of arguments and fallouts, some of them included a situation like this one.”

“Crying in the backseat of a taxi?”

“Crying in the backseat of a taxi.” She laughed lightly, making you smile for the first time tonight.

“It had always worked out though, we’ve never been stronger.”

“Congratulations.” You looked towards the woman “I hope I could be so lucky.” You mumbled, though still loud enough for her to hear. You were mad at Natasha, more disappointed really, but you still loved her, dangerously so. She could stand you up for another 50 dates, and you’d still be head over heels. Angry, but your love would never falter.

“I’m sure you will be. If there’s one thing I've learned over the years, it’s that things have a way of falling into place eventually.”

Pondering her words, you looked out of the car window and noticed that you were pulling up to Stark Tower. It wasn’t long before the car came to a complete stop, the woman turning round to you and beginning to speak again.

“You’ll be okay. It’s obvious you love her, okay? Speak to her. I’m sure it’ll be alright.” She looked at you with nothing but kindness in her eyes, which you did your best to return with a smile. You reached into your purse, handing her the money owed, plus a tip.

“Thank you for the help.”

“Don’t worry about it, go get her.” She winked as you got out of the car and watched her drive away, quickly taking yourself inside to avoid freezing to death as the cold wind blew harshly. Kicking your heels off, you set off with one task at hand. Talk to Nat.

__________________________

“Hey, have any of you guys seen Nat?” You addressed some members of the team who were hanging out in the Kitchen, fixing themselves a snack or just conversing with one another. The second they looked up and took in their appearance, you could’ve sworn their faces paled and saddened slightly as if they knew what had happened.

“I think I saw her head off to train a while ago, but I'm not sure if she’s still there.” Carol replied, her face morphing into one of seriousness. She knew about the missed dates, having found you one night looking completely defeated in one of your nicest dresses and heels. She, alongside Wanda, who had found you both later that night, had spent their night comforting you and reassuring you that she probably hadn’t meant it. They didn’t know what to do, they’d never seen you look so sad before, no matter how much you told them it was okay, the pang in their chest for their best friend hadn’t ceased.

You nodded, quietly thanking Carol and wandered off in search for your girlfriend.

It didn’t take long, she was still training when you’d walked into the gym, sweat practically pouring off of her. Your heart softened briefly when you saw her, her fiery red hair tied back into a ponytail with loose strands all over the place, wearing a black t-shirt, grey sweatpants and a deadpan face as she attacked the dusty punching bag with such force that you’re surprised it hasn’t flown off of the chains yet.

She hadn’t noticed you had walked in, still giving all of her focus to her punches. Maybe she just hadn’t heard you?

“Hi Nat.”

Nothing.

“Nat”

All you could hear was the furious rattling of chains, still not getting a response from the redhead. With a sigh, you decided to try another approach. You stepped closer to her, still keeping a little distance, and leaned forward to tap her shoulder, instantly grabbing her attention. She flung herself around, arm still in midair, her closed fist almost coming into contact with your face.

You don’t know what you expected when she turned around and finally acknowledged your presence, but you definitely didn’t expect to be met with a scowl.

“Seriously? in the middle of training? I could’ve hit you.” She huffed as she turned back to her previous position.

“Sorry. I just wanted to come in and talk to you.”

“About?”

You paused, expecting her to look at you again, but she didn’t.

With a small sigh, you continued. “you missed date night again. I waited for you, but you were a no show.”

“Right, yeah, date night” she muttered, seeming to be unfocused as her eyebrows furrowed and her head kept darting around the room, looking anywhere but at you. “I’ll make the next one.”

“This is the third one you’ve missed this month.” You said firmly, wanting her to understand that this can’t keep happening, of course cancellations or rearrangements were bound to happen sometimes, but she’s just not showing up and then leaving you in the dark as to knowing why.

“I told you, i’ll make the next one.” She walked over to the bench, picking up her water bottle and taking a swig of water, looking directly at you, you look back at her and she just looks so, unbothered.

“I don’t believe you, Nat. You say you’ll make it up to me and then I sit there again, hoping that you’ll be there this time, but you don’t turn up. And now I come back and you’re just training. Could it not have waited? Was that seriously more important?” You raised your voice now, all the anger and frustration you’d felt earlier coming back up to the surface.

You just wanted an explanation, or something to justify how she was acting, but she gave you nothing, not even an attempt, only adding fuel to the fire.

“Why are you getting so annoyed? You should know better than anyone that this is my job.”

“I just explained that to you! Which is more than what you’re giving me right now.”

“Okay, fine, forgive me for not making everything about you for a minute.” She spat bitterly towards you, her temper starting to go as the discussion became more heated.

“Seriously? That’s how you’re seeing this?” If you weren’t so unbelievably irritated, you would’ve laughed at her response.

“You’re being selfish. So I missed a date or two, you’re blowing this out of proportion once again, it’s infuriating.” Selfish?

You raised both your hands, as if in surrender. It was one thing to ditch you, it was another thing to then insult you for speaking up about it. With a tight lipped smile, oozing with sarcasm, you decided that you’d had enough.

“I don’t need to listen to this.”

She shrugged her shoulders, adjusting the gloves she’d just put on. “Then don’t, i’m busy anyways.”. This time, you did laugh.

“What a fucking surprise.”. And with that, you turned on your heels and walked out, hearing the echo of punches fill the room once again, every one feeling like a punch to the stomach.

Maybe these are things falling into place, just not the place you’d hoped.

________________________

You were still in bed at noon the next day, unable to bring yourself to get up and face the world. You didn’t need to worry about anything in the confinement of your bed, even more so considering it wasn’t the bed you shared with Natasha.

After speaking, well, arguing with her last night, you went straight to your shared bedroom, gathered some clothes and your essentials, and slept in your old room that you used to stay in before the two of you started dating. It felt wrong. You always spent your nights with a warm feeling of love washing over you as your girlfriend pressed kisses all over your face, tangling your limbs together in the process.

It wasn’t the same. You felt cold, a type of cold that no heating or blankets could solve. You lacked a weight on your waist, fingertips stroking the skin that was exposed due to your top riding up slightly. Instead, the only comfort you had was the small bear you’ve kept for the las year. It was one that Natasha had given you after she won it at the funfair on your third date, and you could never bring yourself to part with it, remembering how happy she looked when she handed it to you, and the butterflies you felt just from seeing her look so pleased.

The bear was a little worn and torn now, it had been ripped in a couple of places, now replaced with a little sewn on patch of material that didn’t exactly match the shade of brown, and one of the eyes had started to fall off, but you liked that it was different. The assassin had tried to offer to replace it and buy you a new one, but you’d always refuse, insistent that you would keep that bear with you for the rest of time. Even now, when the two of you weren’t speaking, you still held onto it with a death-tight grip.

A knock on the door snapped you out of your daydream.

“Y/N, open up, It’s me.” A familiar voice shouted through. Carol.

“And me!” Wanda.

You heard some muttering outside of the door, something along the lines of Carol suggesting they break the door down, immediately being told that it was unnecessary by the Sokovian. Feeling pretty against the idea of having a doorway with no door, you called out for them.

“Guys, it’s unlocked.” You were quiet, but it was clear that they had heard you as the faint talking stopped altogether and you heard them walk in and shut the door behind them with a ‘click’.

Wanda was the first to approach you, kneeling down beside the bed so that she was at eye level with you, pulling the bed covers down a little to uncover more than your forehead. Once she could see your eyes and nose, she sent you a warm smile.

“Hi sleepy. It’s noon.”

“I know.” She frowned when she heard you speak, your voice raspy from your crying through the night. She hated seeing you like this, she loved both you and Natasha, and it hurt to see you so sad because of the woman you adored.

“We should go and eat something, it’ll help.”

“‘M not hungry.” You pressed your head further into the pillow, the last thing you wanted to do was eat, your stomach already feeling like it was twisting with every minute that passed.

“C’mon, i’ll make you your favourite.” the blonde winked, leaning against your wardrobe.

“Your special pancakes?”

“With extra whipped cream.” She sang, playfully trying to encourage you to leave the bed. You had to hand it to her, she knew you too well.

WIth a brief look between the two, you rubbed your eyes and threw the covers off dramatically, sighing and ensuring that they knew you didn’t approve of this. They knew you were joking, even if you weren’t, all they cared about was making sure you were okay, knowing that when you felt like this, being left alone allows you to neglect yourself and get really low. They don’t mind if you dislike them for a little while, as long as you are looked after.

“There we go! Well done.” Wanda stroked your back and led you towards the door where Carol held it open for you.

“No breaking it down behind my back.” You shot towards her, slightly amused at the guilty look on her face as she realised you’d heard her quarrel beforehand. Shaking her head, she nudged you out of the door, and the three of you made your way into the kitchen.

_______________________

Carol had stuck to her promise of preparing a sweet treat for you, a stack of fluffy pancakes sat in front of you, topped with whipped cream and two cherries on top. You ate slow, still a little cautious of how stable your stomach felt. You could see your two friends talk with one another, not wanting to stare and make you uncomfortable, but occasionally looking over silently to check in on you.

You were feeling pretty content as you sat at the counter, munching away with the two avengers for company. It was only when you heard a voice that you could recognise anywhere.

“Hi guys.”

Not daring to look up, you ket your eyes focused on the food in front of you, hoping that if you just stay quiet, you’ll be invisible to the human eye.

“Hey Nat.”

“Hi.”

Wanda and Carol replied, wary of any interaction between the pair of you that could unfold into something neither of you wanted or that would lead to any regrets.

You lifted your head slightly, able to see the daggers Carol was throwing at Nat, not impressed with her being in the room. You both had always been quite close, often talking about life before becoming superheroes that protect the planet, in her case, planets. In the process, she’d found herself having a soft spot for you, wanting to protect you from anything that could bring you harm. Which you were grateful for, but her glaring was terrifying sometimes, you were more grateful for the fact that her powers weren’t in her eyes, otherwise you would’ve definitely become single five minutes ago.

You could see Natasha out of the corner of your eye, she was filling up the bottle she used for when she was training, her eyes weren’t on what she was doing, instead, she was trying to subtly look up at you through the hood of her eyes. You subconsciously took the opportunity to really take in her appearance.

Her hair hadn’t been tended to since you last saw her, half of it was hanging out of her ponytail, most of it falling in front of her face. Her eyes looked glassy and bloodshot, like she had been crying recently and you could’ve sworn that was your t-shirt she was wearing. The sight sent a wave of sadness over you, wanting nothing more than to leap over the counter and pull her into your arms and tell her things were fine, that the two of you were fine. But you stayed seated, too nervous to make a move.

You didn’t know it, but she regretted speaking to you last night, instantly realising what she’d done after she came back to her room to find it empty and half of your stuff gone. She knew immediately where you’d gone and would’ve gone through to talk it through with you, but she didn’t think it would help. She wanted you to have your time and space before approaching the situation.

With that, she tightened the lid on her bottle, sent you an apologetic smile and walked out of the room, leaving behind an awkward atmosphere in her absence.

“You alright?” Wanda asked

“Yeah, yeah no I'm okay. I’m feeling a little tired though, I'll catch you guys in a bit, okay?” You stood from your seat, not giving either of the two a chance to stop you as you walked out and back to bed. What a day.

_______________________

Hours had gone by now and you were back wrapped up under your bed covers, still clinging onto your bear. You hadn’t bothered to change, you went straight to bed after walking in the door. You’d managed to get some sleep earlier, not a lot, but it was something.

You tossed and turned, trying to find any way of being comfortable so your body could rest and your mind could shut off, but it was deemed to be impossible. All you could think about was your argument with Nat, and how she looked so upset earlier. The thought alone triggered the waterworks again, this time, you didn’t even attempt to stop them.

Only a couple of minutes had passed before there was yet again, another knock on your door. You rolled your eyes, really not wanting any more visitors, you were grateful for the help, but you really wanted to be alone.

“Guys, I’m fine! It’s late, get some sleep.” You called out, waiting to hear retreating footsteps, but they never came. Huh. That’s weird? You brushed it off quickly, assuming that it must’ve just been too quiet to hear, which you wouldn’t put past you due to all the sniffling you’ve been doing in an attempt to silence your crying.

You were wrong. The person at your door hadn’t walked away. They also weren’t Wanda or Carol. Instead, it was who you least expected to be in your room at god knows what time at night after the events that had unfolded recently.

“Hi.” The redhead whispered, worrying that if she spoke any louder, you’d be able to hear her voice shake with nerves, or the huge lump in her throat that wouldn’t budge.

You froze on the spot when you realised who it was, not entirely sure how you were gonna play this. Realistically, you might as well just see what it is she wants, it couldn’t hurt, could it?

“Hey.”

Her footsteps were practically silent but still felt deafening as she stepped closer to you, cringing slightly at how tense and forced all of this felt. It was her fault, she knew that, she hoped you did too. She didn’t want you blaming yourself for her actions, although she couldn’t say anything if you did, she was the one who had insulted you and planted the thought in your head, and she felt every fibre in her body beg for you to forgive her.

Approaching with caution, she walked up to the top of the bed, kneeling where Wanda had been earlier, but unlike Wanda, she didn’t reach out for you. She didn’t feel she had the right. Not now. She quickly took note of your eyes and how they were drooping and red, just like how hers had been earlier, which is how she could know in an instant that you had just been crying. She felt like a knife had gone through her chest at the sight, knowing that she had done that to you. She’d let you down so much that it had brought you to laying in bed alone and crying.

You mumbled something incoherent, completely muffled by the covers that were blocking your mouth.

“Sorry, I couldn’t hear you through the cover, could you tell me that again?”

You looked down a little, debating on doing it or just asking her to leave this conversation for another day. ‘But, she was already here, so you may as well get on with it.’ you thought, and with that, you tugged the covers down a little, letting Natasha see your full face now, unable to stop a tiny hint of a smile creeping up on her face. Your nose was runny, your eyes were puffy, and your face was flushed, but that didn’t change the fact that she still believed you to be the most beautiful woman she’d seen.

“Has something h-happened?” You hiccuped, noticing the frown take over her features as she maintained her eye contact with you.

“Yeah. i was a complete idiot.”

“Nat-”

“No, no, please. I want to explain. I need to explain. Please?” She pleaded, not caring how desperate she might’ve looked.

You paused for a minute before sighing gently, nodding at her and giving her a non-verbal go ahead to continue. She took a deep breath, looking away for a second then looking back at you before you could even blink. You could see her hands tremble a little, and while you were upset with her, you couldn’t leave it alone. You reached your hand out from under the cover and held it out to her, offering it for her to hold. She grabbed it without hesitation, squeezing it gently as a single tear fell, gathering the courage to say her next words.

“I have no excuse for what I did. There is nothing I could say that would make my actions plausible or acceptable, I shouldn’t have treated you like that or said what I did, and I understand if you can’t forgive me, or don’t want to. But I needed-, no, I need you to know, I'm sorry. I’m so sorry, Y/N. You deserve better.”

More tears had fallen down her face at this point, her thumb not ceasing in their circular movements on the back of your hand. She didn’t know if this was going to be the last time she felt your hand in hers, so with every circle, she was savouring the moment, no matter how badly she wished it was under different circumstances.

You shuffled a little so you were in a more upright position, hoping that it would make speaking easier. You’d taken in every word, and while you were hurt, extremely hurt, you saw how remorseful she was. Her face showed no sign of humour or like she was lying. You could always tell when she was lying, her eyebrow always twitched a little, which you would always be in stitches about when she tried to say she didn’t eat your last cookie and her eyebrows would be moving like mad. They were as still as stone when she was speaking this time.

“You really hurt me, Nat. I didn’t think I was asking for much, just some time with you, that was all. And you left me every time, for work and with no notice. It was embarrassing.” She nodded in acknowledgement as she listened. “A-and then to come back and witness you being so, so, hostile, with me, I didn’t understand what I'd done.”

She gulped audibly before speaking again. “You hadn’t done a thing. Not a thing. I-I threw myself into work, into training. The last mission, I was sloppy, I wasn’t on my A game, it almost ended up with other people seriously hurt. So I thought-” She took a shaky breath in. “I thought, if I trained harder, It would mean I would be better for the next mission. But I disregarded everything else on the radar, including you, and then I got so mad at myself for it that I ended up taking it out on you instead. You don’t have a selfish bone in your body, and it was out of order for me to ever say so. It was wrong, and I don’t think I can apologise enough.`` She gave you an apologetic smile, tears streaming down her face steadily now.

“You know, when I came home from the restaurant, I had this driver.” You smiled. “Nice woman, she’s got a wife. She was telling me that it wasn’t easy for them. They had their ups and downs, their fights and bitterness. But they always found their way back to each other.” You whispered so softly that if there was any other noise in the room, Natasha wouldn’t have heard a word.

“And, when we argued, I really didn’t think we were going to be able to come back from that. I thought that maybe our time had expired.” You sniffled, your own tears trailing their way down your cheeks. Without thinking, she wiped them away, her palm pressing onto your warm cheek as you nuzzled into it, still finding comfort in her touch.

“I don’t want us to expire, Nat.”

There it was. There was the sentence that turned silent tears into fully body wracking sobs, your hands instinctively going to pull away and cover your face, instead, Natasha brought herself up to sit on the side of your bed, hastily bringing you into her chest and her free hand combing its way through your hair.

She rocked you back and forth, letting you get everything out of your system, no matter how much it hurt to hear.

“Shh, I’ve got you. I’m so sorry, moya lyubov.”

Your sobs soon died down with Nat’s help, sobs turning into faint pants with how tired you were and how much energy it had taken out of you. You looked up at her softly, as she smiled down at you.

“I love you, Natty.” You murmured, the words making the assassin’s heart grow fonder for you, if that was ever possible.

“I love you more.”

“Can you stay with me tonight? I can’t sleep without you.”

“Of course. Anything for you.” She leaned over you, bringing the blankets back up and over you, catching a glimpse of some brown fur among the darkness. She knew exactly what it was. She picked up up with the blankets and handed it to you, happiness overtaking her as she saw your eyes light up at the teddy she won for you.

“Thank you.”

“No, thank you, Detka.” She pressed a kiss to your temple before settling down, holding you tight in her grasp, refusing to let you go for anything or anyone, not that you were complaining, you’d missed this.

Nothing had to be decided tonight, there was no rush for discussion. Sure, there were still things to talk through and work out, but that can wait. All that mattered right now, was that Natasha was there. She was holding you in her arms and you felt every ounce of love and apology she could give you. And that was enough for now.

taglist: @natashas-favourite-knives @wandaromanova @wvnda-maximoff

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #natasha romanoff fanfiction #natasha romanoff oneshot #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff angst #natasha romanoff fluff #natasha x reader #natasha romanoff fanfic #natasha romanov #natasha romanoff smut #marvel #marvel fanfiction #mcu #mcu fandom #natasha romanoff fluffy

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bitchesgetriches · 2 years

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Hi Piggy and Kitty!

I hope I'm not bothering you by asking this, but I have a conundrum. I've read all your blog posts about asking for a raise.

I've only been at my job 6 months. Since I was hired, I've gotten more responsibility (outside of what was originally in my job description. I went from Admin assistant and medical outreach coordinator to now that and HR interview outreach and scheduling coordinator and a couple other things).

I've seen a few jobs pop up in my emails offering $3.75 or more per hour than what I'm currently making (which is a 20% increase). Where I live, gas is still basically $4/gallon, I commute almost 300 miles weekly, and the cost of food is astronomical (my husband and I spent over $700 last month, and neither of us really eat anymore lol, thanks medication! I watched a pack of chicken go from $13 to $22. And that's when it's "on sale")

I read somewhere that the average American will need $5,200 more dollars this year to live the exact same life as in 2021. I'm not sure what the "average American" is, but it probably isn't me. Combined, we make less than $60k/year. We never go on vacations or do "average American" things like have a car payment or kids

I'm not sure what to do. I really like my job and everyone I work with, but the raise and shorter commute would really help us save for the down payment on the house we are trying to buy (I'm watching our investments bottom out as we speak. It's stressful.) We are basically a single income family (my husband is on SSDI so his monthly income is fixed, so I'm basically the breadwinner), and we (he really) has a lot of debt to clear.

Would jumping ship after 6 months look bad? Or should I try to ask for a raise first? I don't know if they'd even come close to matching what other jobs are offering for my skill set (20% is a lot when we are having ridiculous staff turnover). And I know not asking is basically leaving money on the table, but is asking after 6 months too demanding? Should I even mention that I notice other jobs are offering $21/hr and up for my skill set? I can't work remote even one day a week (I mean, I can, but they wouldn't approve that. It's more for when I'm home sick but don't want to use sick time) or I'd ask for that to ease some of my gas expenses, but travel is basically a job requirement.

When I was hired, my job was committed to providing a "living wage", which in NY, is considered $18.75/hr for a single person (which is what I make). It sounds like a lot, but it evaporates quickly, even though we are nice enough to live with a family member who doesn't charge us much rent. It's by no means a "living wage" and I don't know where NY came up with that number, but that ain't it.

I just don't know what to do. I've watched my gas and grocery budget triple but am still making the same amount of money. I even cashed out my retirement early to help pay down some of our debt.

I really, really don't want to jump ship because I really do like it here and I'm always told that I'm really doing a fantastic job and am so helpful, but if praise could pay my home heating bill I'd be set for years.

Do you have any advice? I'm really waffling over what I should do here. There's a job offering $29.77/hr for basically what I do now that I'm definitely throwing a resume at (I'm like...juuuuuust enough qualified, but that would be like, the job of a lifetime), but in the meantime (or in case I don't get it) should I be asking for a raise? Or should I be looking elsewhere? How much is even an acceptable amount of raise to ask for in these, and I hate this phrase, "unprecedented time"? Do you think employers are trying to do anything possible to retain staff, or do you think they think they can just hire someone else for less?

I love this job, and I don't know what to do.

Sorry, this is just long winded as heck.

Whew, dear heart, you are Going Through It.

6 months is an a-okay time to ask about a raise. Full stop. Even without the increased responsibilities you mentioned. That said, I also wouldn't worry too much about moving on after 6 months (we are huge proponents of job hopping to leverage raises and promotions!).

If a 20% pay increase and the option to work from home sometimes would make you want to stay at your current job, bring them that info. Especially if you've got applications out or offers in. But if that same pay hike with a shorter commute sounds like a better deal to you, go for it!

How to Make Any Financial Decision, No Matter How Tough, with Maximum Swag

Job Hopping vs. Career Loyalty by the Numbers

The Fascinating Results of Our Job Hopping vs. Career Loyalty Poll

Aaaand for anyone in a similar situation who hasn't read the raise articles yet:

Salary Range: Are You Asking for Enough?

A Millennial’s Guide to Growing Your Salary

The First Time I Asked for a Raise

You Need to Ask for a Fucking Raise

#asking for a raise #job hunting #career advice

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cherryobx · 3 years

Text

Environmentalists//Kiara Carrera x reader

request:

summary: You are an environmentalist who moves to the Outer Banks. When Kiara hears about you, she knows she has to meet you.

warnings: language (1 word lol), fluff, kissing ig

WC: 1,7k

(not my gif, creds to the owner!!!)

You had been planning on moving for a while now. You wanted a quieter life away from big cities and cars honking every two seconds. You hated it. You absolutely hated it. You had known since you were a little girl that this wasn't the life for you.

You were luckily quite wealthy and you had enough money to start a new life somewhere else. When you talked to your parents about moving, they were very supportive of the idea. You told them about where you wanted to move and that you wanted to build your own house there. You had enough money so why not.

So, you quit your job in the city, packed most of your belongings with you and moved to the Outer Banks. Kildare to be specific. The decision to move there wasn’t hard. You had visited the place a few years back and you fell in love with it. It was the most beautiful place to you in the whole world.

When you first arrived there you checked out the property you had bought. The work there had already begun and the fundamentals of the house were already there. It was a good idea to start the process of building before you had even arrived. Your dad had helped you hire a group of people who knew what they were doing but you wanted to hire a few locals as well.

The one thing you decided on was that you wanted to stay on your property while it was being built. So, you rented yourself a caravan to live in.

When JJ and John B saw that there was a really good job opportunity, they decided to take it. The place they needed to work at wasn’t even far away from the chateau so it was the perfect job for them.

“Hey! You’re JJ and John B, right?” you asked the two boys who were walking up to you. They both gave you a confirming nod.

“Yay, I remembered your names,” you giggled. “So the guys are already working over there,” you pointed towards them, “so go over there and ask them what you have to do. And if you want to drink some water or eat some snacks, I set up a table for you all as well. If you have any questions I’ll be in that caravan.”

John B and JJ gave each other a look. It was their first day, they hadn’t even done anything yet, but you were being so unbelievably nice to them. It was something new for them since their other bosses in the past had treated them like shit.

A few months passed and the house was coming together. You had some finishing touches you still needed though. Like solar panels.

You were an environmentalist and doing everything in your power to change the world for the better. But it was hard because humanity had already done so much damage that it was really hard to make anything happen. However, you really tried. Change happens with one person at a time - a sentence you liked to live by.

“Yes, just put them over there for now. We’ll deal with them on Monday. It’s too late anyways. Go home, get some sleep.” You stood by and gave orders as the builders carried the panels one by one. Once they were finished, everyone went home.

“How does she have that much money though? That’s my question,” JJ said, opening the fridge and taking out two bottles of beer, offering one to his friend.

“Her parents are probably rich.” John B shrugged as he took the beer from JJ and popped the cap off.

“Yeah, but like solar panels?”

“What solar panels?” Kie asked as she walked into the kitchen. It was Friday night. That’s when they got together with the pogues to just drink and hang out. Pope was on his way as well.

She hopped onto one of the counters, very interested in the answer that was about to come. “You know that girl who moved here a few months back, our boss?”

“You mean the one who’s building her own house?”

“Yeah, her. She bought solar panels and they arrived today. We’re setting them up on Monday.” Suddenly Kie became very fascinated by her friends’ boss.

“What is she like?” she asked.

“Really nice. The best boss ever, for sure,” JJ said, taking a swig from his bottle.

John B continued. “Umm she’s a few years older than us. Sometimes she sits close where we are, watches us work and just talks to us. She’s an environmentalist, so the house we’re building is really energy efficient. And yes, she’s the best boss. She pays us generously and we get the right amount of breaks. She even gets us snacks and water. I don’t really know, that’s about it.”

“She sounds really cool. Can I come with you on Monday?” Kie asked, a hopeful look on her face. As soon as John B said that you were an environmentalist she knew she had to meet you. There weren’t many girls like you on the island. Plus, you seemed to be super awesome. She could use someone like you in her life.

“Uhh I don’t know.” John B looked at JJ and he looked back at him smirking. “Kie, you haven’t even met her and you’re already crushing on her.”

Kie rolled her eyes. “Ugh, shut up. Can I come or not?”

They agreed, so on Monday Kiara walked to work with them. She was nervous to say the least. JJ had been right. She hadn’t even seen or met you but she was already hooked. She had fixed her hair at least 10 times before getting there.

“Calm down, Kie,” JJ chuckled, patting Kie on the back.

Then she saw you and she swore her heart stopped beating for a second. You were nothing like she had imagined. You were even more beautiful. She loved the way your hair was moving in the light morning breeze or how you smiled and gestured with your hands as you were talking to your employees. It was like your smile was brighter than the sun. She was so invested in watching you, she almost tripped.

To her luck, JJ caught her just in time. “Relax, Romeo.”

As they walked closer, you finally noticed them coming towards you. You were a bit confused, seeing a girl with them. You smiled and waved at them. They waved back.

“Good morning, John B and JJ!”

“Good morning!” The boys said in unison, making you laugh.

“And who are you?” you turned to Kiara with a warm simile. “I’m Kiara,” she introduced herself, offering you a hand to shake which you did.

“I’m Y/N.” Kiara smiled as she repeated your name under her breath.

“Well, we better go...you know...do some work and stuff.” JJ and John B ran off as you and Kiara stayed back.

“So, what brings you here today?” you asked.

“Umm, I’m friends with John B and JJ and they told me a little about you. They told me that you are an environmentalist?”

“Yes, I am.”

“Me too! When they told me about you I knew I had to meet you. There aren’t many activists around here so…”

“They told you about me?”

“Yeah. I heard them talking about some solar panels and then it led to the conversation about you. They told me great things about you.”

You and Kiara talked for almost an hour before she asked if you’d been to her parents' restaurant. You told her that you hadn’t.

“Well, I can take you there if you’d like to.” She was really hoping that you want to.

“Sure, I haven’t had breakfast yet anyway.”

You grabbed your bike and told Kie to sit on the rack of your bicycle. You didn’t have a car and the reason was simple. You didn’t need one. Why buy a car and waste money on gas (which is harmful to the environment) when you could just use your bicycle to get around. The island wasn’t that huge.

Kie was hesitant at first but you told her that you’d get there quicker. Then she finally agreed to get on the bike. “Wrap your arms around me.” Kie’s heart started beating faster as she did so. You were so close to each other now.

You two rode to the Wreck in about 20 minutes. The silence was comfortable around you two. It was like you’d known each other for years. In reality, it’d been an hour. Well, that’s probably what it was like to meet someone you’re so similar to, someone you connect with.

After eating, Kie took you to her favourite places on the island. You two spent the entire day together. You really liked her. She had this specific energy that matched yours. You felt like you had found the one.

The day ended with you two sitting on the edge of a dock, watching the sunset. You leaned closer to Kie and rested your head on her shoulder. It was a beautiful moment. A one you were sure you’d cherish forever.

Kie smiled. She was happy. Like really happy. She hadn’t felt like this in a while. She liked you as well and really hoped that the feelings were mutual. It was a once-in-a-lifetime thing to find a person you liked like this. She had known you for only a day but she could imagine a future with you.

So when you rose your head to look at Kie, she shot her shot.

She pressed her lips against yours and gave you a short and sweet kiss that left her wanting more now once she’d tasted your lips.

When she pulled away, you had a shocked expression on your face. You weren’t expecting that. But you liked the butterflies it gave you.

“Oh shit! I’m so sorry. I thought-”

You shut her up by kissing her again, but this time deeper. The butterflies in your belly flew at a rapid speed as your lips moved against each other. She placed her hand on your cheek to pull you in even closer.

The kiss ended when you ran out of air and needed a breath. Your foreheads rested against each other as you were catching your breath.

This felt right. All of it. You couldn’t wait for what destiny had planned for you two.

taglist: @www-imbored-com @delightfullynlove @tomhardybby @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless @ilovejjmaybank @allycat449-blog @teenwaywardasgardian @copper-boom @canibeoneofthepogues @ifilwtmfc @bedazzledbanks @jeyramarie @themaddies-obx @pink-meringues @freddymaybank @moniamaybank @outerbankspreferences @j-j-may-bank @drewstarkeysbitchh

(If you didn't get a notification please let me know! I've had issues with it before)

#kiara carrera #kiara carrera x reader #kiara carrera x y/n #kiara carrera x you #kiara carrera outer banks #kiara carrera obx #kiara obx #kiara outer banks #outer banks #obx #obx netflix #obx s2

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awgeezitsthetoiletnator · 2 years

Note

okay I think I’m late again but do you have any starla/g4g/gravity falls head canons for us 👀

YES. it's sad though. i've been thinking about this a lot bc of the starla fic i've been working on today.

i really don't think carla was around for a lot of lex's early years. i definitely think she was following thistle around for a few years there until he dumped her in a city in exchange for someone younger and more impressionable.

when she comes to her senses, she calls the pines and learns that stan, who she thought was raising their baby, was kicked out years ago. lex is growing up without a mom or a dad - only a grandmother and a grandfather whose acceptance he never earned before he died.

so carla vows to get her shit together. she finds a cheap room in the city and starts to work whatever odd jobs she can find during the day and dances at night. she talks to lex on the phone every day. he's not too sure about this new "mom" person, but he starts to come around, telling her about the new gizmos he's tinkering with and how he's the smartest kid in his class.

carla finally saves enough money to return to her hometown securely and gets a little apartment for her and lex. she takes night classes to work towards becoming a paralegal, but all of her free time is spent hanging out with her kid, making up for lost time. but she knows something's still missing.

once she has a stable job, she hires a PI to track stan down. she wants their son to know him before he becomes too jaded at the idea of his father. the PI finally catches up to him in the summer of '79. she's worried at first that he'll be mad at her for leaving, but when stan picks up the phone, he's only relieved that she's okay and with lex. she tells him their son needs a father, and he argues that his life is too chaotic right now for a kid.

carla says: "if i can get my shit together, so can you. all i want is us to be a family again. i want you here for lex's bar mitzvah and then i want you to stay. please. it'll work this time, i promise."

it inspires stan. he swears he'll make it back for his son's 13th birthday. he spends the next year and a half saving every single dime he earns, resorting to sleeping in his car out in the cold if he has to. he'll do anything to get back to carla and lex - anything to be a family again.

he keeps in touch with carla. she tries to stay neutral on their calls at first, but soon he has her laughing and recalling old memories with him. eventually she tells him this finally feels real. she can't wait for him to come home.

she even puts lex on the phone a few times. he's a sarcastic little shit, but begrudgingly answers stan's questions about school and hobbies. lex lights up when stan mentions that his watch is broken and walks him through every minuscule step to fix it. stan loves every single second.

a month before he plans to go back, stan hears from his brother. it's strange, but fills him with so much hope. a chance to reconnect with ford before doing the same with his son and the love of his life? the universe must be smiling on him. just a little bit.

two weeks before the bar mitvah, stan pines is declared legally dead.

it’s sleepover saturday!

#carla mccorkle #stanley pines #starla #gravity falls #dad pines #grunkle4grandpa #gf #g4g

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hot-wiings · 3 years

Text

The One Where [Y/N] [L/N] Can't Show Up To Her Toxic Family Dinner Alone, So She Turns To Her College Peer For Help.

Edited: 12-4-2020

Once your college professor dismissed the class as over you were quick to open your phone and check your messages. Once unmuted, it vibrated and chimed a dozen times bombarding you. Messages from your mother overflowed your notification bar. You just didn't have the energy to deal with it right now. With a scowl, you set your phone back to mute mode and harshly shoved it into your backpack.

"Everything all right?"

Your chemistry partner was pilling books back into his backpack when he asked you the imposing question. He zipped the bag close, stood up, and turned to you, giving you a concerned look as he slung his backpack on his shoulder.

"I'm fine."

"We've been partners for nearly a year, I think I know you enough to know when you're not fine."

Your eyes glanced up at the white-haired man before glancing back at your lap. Your chemistry partner, Natsuo Todoroki, was a nice young man. Natsuo was funny and kind, he noticed when you were having a bad day, and he'd try to ease your troubles. Maybe that was why you often found yourself studying your partner more than your notes. Normally you'd relish under the gaze and attention of your charming, pretty partner, but today wasn't just one of those days.

"It's stupid. Like, really stupid, and unimportant."

"If it's bothering you then it's not stupid. C'mon, I'll buy you lunch and you can tell me all about your problem."

You huffed as you stood up and pulled your bag over your shoulder. You followed Natsuo to the cafeteria, while he walked off to get and pay for your lunches, you found some empty seats. Your leg bounced as you waited for him to come back. The idea of opening up about something so personal made you anxious.

"It's Soba Saturday."

"Thanks."

Natsuo took a seat across from you and smiled as you took a bite out of the food. Happy that you were happy with your food, Natsou digs into his own.

"So partner' what's up?"

"As I said, it's really, really, stupid."

"You're obviously worked up over it, it can't be that stupid."

You let out a ragged sigh as you took a delicate bite out of your food. Embarrassed, your eyes avoided him once you swallowed and set the fork down. Natsuo had shared so much with you as a friend and confidant, you knew about his family, every nitty-gritty detail, but you opened so little in return.

"My mom texted me asking if I was bringing a date home for Christmas. My parents... They're pretentious and rich, you know? Marrying, and settling down, becoming a house mouse while my husband takes over the family business. That's the future they want for me."

You clenched your fists just getting aggravated thinking about it. The toxicity was hard and you were trying your best to escape it, but you could only flee so much when you were poor without your parents. Natsuo reached across the table and grabbed your hands, pulling them into his cold ones.

"I know if I show up alone my mom's gonna get in my business, then she'll try setting me up with rich men she thinks are suitable. I just- I can't do another family Christmas alone."

"I understand what you mean. I told you how my dad's a bastard, he's tried setting me and my sister up with suitable people before, never works out, just makes us hate him. I don't even wanna go home for Christmas this year, so... I have a proposition."

"I'd love to hear it."

"I'll go with you."

His voice came out quick and fast, almost making him sound nervous, but Natsuo didn't get nervous, it wasn't a Todoroki trait. You look up from your lap to his eyes. A small smile formed on your face as he proposed the statement. You let out a chuckle as a light blush brushed your face.

"You wanna be my date?"

"We don't have to go like that, we can fake date. Think about it, you need a rich, suitable guy to show up with you. You need me. Someone to convince your pretentious parents you're ready to settle down, and, I, can get out of my own family Christmas and obligations to see the bastard man."

"Fake dating... Fake dating and convincing my parents that we're in love. That's a lot to deal with, you're sure your up for it?"

"Yeah, you might say... We already have some chemistry together."

You laughed as that feeling bubbled up in your chest. That feeling you got whenever you were around your partner, your lab partner. It was stupid, so stupid. The idea of fake dating him bubbled you, even if it was fake, the idea that he got to be your boyfriend for an evening or two excited you.

"Okay, you dork, it's settled. You're my fake boyfriend."

Your leg bounced rigorously as the car drove on the road. You watched the road signs, anxiously noting how far away from your home you were each time a new one appeared. You lived a couple of hours out from the city you and Natsuo attended college in. Coming from a rich family, you and Natsuo probably would've attended the same social circles and school had you not grew up so far away.

Your thumb tapped away at your leg as Christmas music blared through the radio. Your whole body screamed anxious and distressed. Now that you've had time to brew and process the deal you and Natsuo made you regretted it. What were you thinking, taking your lab partner, who was also your crush, on an overnight trip as your fake boyfriend? It was just going to cause you trouble.

You had feelings for him and your family was toxic. The idea of letting him in was disturbing. It was your home where you grew up, the place you learned to hate yourself, the place that taught you to be closed off, and mean. He'll meet your mom, your dad, and your godawful siblings. He'll see how horrible your family is, and the idea of letting him see the environment you grew up in was so daunting.

What if he decided you were awful too? What if he changes lab partners?

"We're here."

"Great."

Your voice came out placid and tight. Your nervousness and exhaustion could be heard in your voice. Emotions brought out every time you saw your family, he mistook it as nerves brought on by the fear of fake dating.

"We should probably lie down some rules."

"Yeah, I've never fake dated before. I don’t know what you're uncomfortable with, but no kissing on the lips."

Natsuo pulled his keys out of the engine ignition and pocketed them while he lightly laughed at your proposed rule. Heat rose to your cheeks as his voice met your ears.

"We're supposed to convince them we're in love, but I can't kiss your lips?"

"I know it's silly, but to me it's romantic and I’d like to keep this professional. Besides, you still have my cheek, hand, nose, and forehead."

“I see your points, if it makes you feel more comfortable then lips are off-limits.”

You let out a relieved sigh. You weren't sure you'd handle kissing Natsuo. It was too personal, too romantic. The more you progressed on this endeavor the more you worried. Your parents were gonna know, they were gonna know.

"No kissing your lips, what about hand-holding?"

"We can hold hands, hug, anything a couple would do, just no sex or kissing."

"Two days, as a handholding loving boyfriend. Let's do this."

Natsuo got out of the car and while you zipped up your coat and fixed your scarf he rushed to the other side of the car and opened your door before you got the chance. His cold hand was on your hand pulling you out of the car, he smiled softly at you as he helped you out.

“Thanks, you didn't have to do that.”

“I wanted to, I'm your boyfriend after all.”

You pushed a piece of hair behind your ear as a light blush spread across your skin. Never had you been more thankful for the cold air for you had been able to play your pink cheeks off as an effect of the cold weather and not his words.

“You go in, I’ll get our bag.”

“You sure?”

You nibbled on your lip as Natsuo walked away from you. He turned to you with an ever-growing smile present as he winked.

“Yeah, I'm a good boyfriend aren't I?”

“The sweetest ever. See you inside.”

You made your way to the door and gave the heavy wooden door a hard knock. It wasn't long until one of the servants opened the door. The head butler, Godwin, opened the door and threw you a gracious smile before pulling you into a hug.

“Welcome back, [Y/N].”

In your time living here as a child, Godwin spent a lot of time with you. It was his job to watch over you and your siblings along with the other staff members when your parents were gone, which was often. He was the one who taught you to be kinder and nicer, more humble than your other siblings. He was the one who encouraged you to go to college despite your parents raising you to live in a world with their racist, sexist ideals.

“It’s good to see you, Godwin.”

Your mother came down the stairs with her overly expensive Christmas dress flowing with her. She looked like the average rich person trying to show off her money. Pearls, diamonds, and obvious plastic surgery. Your father followed behind her, adorning an expensive tailored suit and a matching tie, no doubt your mother's idea to make it seem like they had a perfect marriage to their guests when it, in fact, was not.

“Oh, [F/N], you're here!”

She walked up to you and awkwardly wrapped her arms around your body. It was weird and awkward. Your mother didn't like giving affection out to her children, or really anyone. Now that you were older, you didn't crave the attention from her. Your father didn't even attempt to greet you.

“I thought you said you were bringing a guest, Oh I knew you were lying. Lucky for you I thought ahead and arranged for one of your father's friends to come over as your date for the evening.”

“Mother, anyone friends with father is going to be way too old to be a date for me, besides that fact, I did bring a date.”

“Oh, don’t be embarrassed to ask your mother for help, I did give birth to you after all.”

She sneered her words at you. This was a classical move of your mothers because she gave birth to you then that must mean she knows you better than anyone else, she also used it in the stance that you owed it to her to do what she wanted.

“You’ll love him. He's the owner of a multimillion-dollar company, he's rich, and his wife just died! You’ve been single for so long, you need a man to take care of you”-

Your mother is cut off by the sound of Natsuo walking in with your bag and slamming the door shut, trying to keep the cold out. Considering it was an overnight trip, you thought sharing a bag might make you look more intimate and close.

“Sorry I took so long babe, I didn't zip the bag all the way closed and it opened on the ride here, I had to put everything back in it.”

“Mother, father, this is my boyfriend.”

Natsuo dropped your bag on the floor and shook your parent's hands starting with your father, and then your mother next, respectfully the way you shook hands with the rich. You supposed growing up as a Todoroki he had to learn these tricks and rules the same way you did.

“Natsuo Todoroki, nice to meet you, sir, ma’am.”

“Oh wow, Todoroki? Like the hero family Todoroki?”

“Yes, ma’am... Endeavor is my father.”

You could tell by Natsuo's stance that he was uncomfortable with the way your mother was asking about his social status and checking him out with a tight fake smile on her face.

“Yes, I remember now, I saw your family on the news. How did you snag this one [Y/N]? A Todoroki, I'm impressed, then again... He is the brother who chose not to follow the life of a hero.”

You both ignored your mother's catty comment as Natsuo grabbed your hand and pulled you against his side. He kissed your cheek, eliciting a light blush for the second time that day, however, your mother's focus was on your 'boyfriend', and his focus was on your mother.

“Feels more like I'm the one who snagged her.”

“Well, you must tell us how you met. Goodwin! Take their bag up to [Y/N]'s room!”

You rolled your eyes as she yells at the butler. You'd think after years of working for her she would've remembered his name, but she didn't.

“Godwin, we can take our bag up, we need to change into our dress clothes anyway. Mother, you really should remember the names of your staff.”

“They're just the help, details like their names don't matter. Ever since you went off to that school it's put silly ideas in your head. Natsuo don't be afraid to remind her who's boss, she might try to force those ridiculous relationship norms on you.”

The comment comes from your father who had been mostly silent throughout the whole conversation. The comment comes from your father and it didn't sit well with Natsuo. As your father laughs at what he said, Natsuo picks your bag up and chuckles at him.

“Oh, [Y/N] and I both know who the boss of this relationship is. [Y/N] attends more classes than me, so I always make sure the apartment is clean, and food is ready on the table for her. It's only fair, I wouldn't want her to think these ridiculous relationship norms where the woman cooks and cleans and the man provides is right.”

Before your father gets another word in edgewise, Natsuo pulls you along with him to the staircase, letting you guide him to your bedroom with appeased smiles on your faces. You pushed the door open and let Natsuo in before closing it and locking it. You flopped over on the bed, and he followed suit before taking a look at your room. It was the same as always, the way you left it after high school, never changing except for when little things got moved around for dusting and vacuuming by Godwin.

“So... What'd you think of my parents?”

“They’re... interesting?”

There were a wide variety of choice words Natsuo wanted to use. He did not like your parents, and it bothered him knowing that you grew up being raised with such ideals. Natsuo might have had a bastard for a father, his father might have hurt his mom, and his family in more ways than one, but his father never once told Fuyumi that she couldn't pursue her dreams. He never once told Fuyumi that she had to follow old gender norms, never once was Fuyumi taught to layover for a man.

"It's okay, you can say it. They're good awful."

"I didn't want to upset you or offend, but my father literally drove my mom insane, he gave her a mental illness and he's nice compared to them."

"Just wait until you meet my siblings."

You let out a laugh as your fingers played with the blanket on the bed. Your hands were so close. It was sweet to him, the sound of your voice. He'd never admit out loud, but he was so in love with you. Ever since he first laid eyes on you in chemistry class. Ever since you sat down next to him and introduced yourself, ever since you accidentally blew up your first experiment. Ever since you kept apologising for catching him on fire, you hadn't a clue who he was, or who his father was. You were normal with him. Every little thing you did lead up to his feelings for you. Every little thing you did added to the strong feelings had had, like a brick house.

To the naked eye, Natsuo was a desirable man. He was rich, filthy rich, and he had that Todoroki charm. Everyone wanted him for his status or his looks. They didn't know him, the real him, him with an abusive father and fucked up family. For all those reasons, Natsuo always thought that you wouldn't want to be with a boy like him. Someone who came from such a broken background, someone so weak, unable to stand up to his father. Guys like him never got the girl, at least not the girl that he wanted but Natsuo also never imagined that you came from a background similar to his. It was so ethereal and special to be here with you, to be the one you were opening up to, even if it was a fake relationship, Natsuo was trying desperately to shoot his shot.

"You're so strong, you know that? Your parents raised you with these unrealistic standards on how you should act, but you're in college, you're pursuing your dreams. You're amazing."

Natsuo's hand reached out and grabbed yours, his cold one in yours soliciting goosebumps and a little shiver. You quickly tried to pull your and out of his and stood up to make it look like you weren't trying to avoid skin contact with him.

"Thanks, Natsuo... You're amazing too, I mean hello, they way you subtly told my father to shove his marriage ideals? It was hilarious, he was not expecting that."

You looked away from Natsou to hide the blush in your cheeks, you were thankful for the way he stood up to your father for you. You could never have done that in a million years.

"Anyway, we should probably get dressed, and go down before my mother thinks we've started having sex. You can get dressed in here and I'll go to the bathroom, just knock when it's safe for me to come out."

You grabbed your dress out of the bag and scurried into the bathroom. You started with makeup, then you reapplied your deodorant. You were so nervous that your family would see right through your lie. After taking a few deep breaths you heard Natsuo's knock so you quickly unzipped your silk, baby blue dress and pulled it up to your body. Nervously, you popped your head out the door and bit your lip.

"Can you... Can you zip me up?"

"Sure!"

You let the door open more and pulled the front of your dress tight against your body, worried and nervous to be partially naked in front of him. Natsuo sauntered into the bathroom and zipped the back of your dress up. His cold hands glide up your back and then fell down on your hips. It made you shiver again before throwing him a grateful smile.

"Thanks."

"No problem, you look beautiful."

You looked in the mirror at the two of you together. This time as the blush rose to your cheeks you didn't have the cold to blame or the ability to turn around and hide your face.

"Ready to meet the rest of the snake nest?"

"I survived your parents, I think I can handle your siblings."

Arm in arm looped together you made your way downstairs and into the entertainment room with Natsuo. Your siblings were sitting on the couch, but once you walked in their eyes struck you. They heard you brought a date and they wanted to check him out. Their eyes glazed over him some of them in interest, some in disinterest. All judging.

"I heard you brought a boy, didn't believe it."

The comment comes from your older sister. Her voice was full of disdain and disinterest, undoubtedly ready to leave.

"Yeah, mother said you brought a boy, didn't think he'd be so hot."

Natsou coughs uncomfortably as you showed a tight, fake smile to your sister. You couldn't lie, it hurt that your younger sister would so blatantly flirt with your boyfriend upon meeting him, whether he be fake or not.

"Don't be such a slut, [Sisters Name]. That's your sister's boyfriend."

Your older brother scolded his youngest sister for her lustful behavior and she rolls her eyes before she crosses her arms in a pout. Your brother was the nicest out of all your siblings. He was nice to you and your siblings in his own way, protective of his younger siblings, constantly scolding and trying to keep you all in place. That didn't mean he couldn't be a snake, he could just tolerate you and your siblings more.

"Besides, he's not all that hot."

"Oh he totally is, it's seriously a wonder how [Y/N] got him."

You brought Natsuo over to the couch and sat down next to him. You even made sure to sit close to him, close enough so you could lean into each other like a cute couple.

"I think I prefer your parents."

His words whispered in your ear earning a light chuckle from you. Your sister, the younger one, evidently didn't like how close you both were. With a harsh glare, she rolled her eyes again.

"How did you even meet? Seriously, I wanna know why he would downgrade to someone like you."

Natsuo scratched the back of his head awkwardly and nervously He didn't understand why your siblings were so mean to you. His father was a bastard, that closed you off, that he could get. Despite that, he and his siblings never put each other down like they were doing.

"More like she downgraded to me. We met in school, lab partners. She had all the boys chasing for her in school, but somehow she chose me."

Your sister scoffed and this time you rolled your eyes. She always gave you such shit over the littlest things. You didn't have the energy for this, at least not sober. You whispered into Natsuo's ear softly.

"I need a drink, you want one? We'll need it to get through the evening."

"If your alcohol mixing skills are anything like your chemistry mixing skills, then no."

"Meanie, I'm a great chemist, I practically carry our grade."

Natsuo chuckled against your cheek, before pulling back and kissing it. Again, a blush adorned your cheek with no way to hide it. It was brief and quick, but his cold lips ghosted against your cheek. All you could do was abruptly stand up with a smile on your face.

"I'm gonna go find an alcoholic beverage. I'll be right back, play nice with him."

Natsuo watched helplessly as you walked off into the distance. He sat there quietly, patiently waiting for you to come back. Natsuo was such a cool, calm collected guy, but alone with your siblings, he felt nervous. Seeing the way they acted with you gave him a bad impression of them, but he has to play nice because he was your boyfriend.

"You know, an alcoholic drink does sound great."

Your older sister stood up from the couch and walked off in the same direction as you did, the kitchen presumably, to make herself a drink as well. Soon, your brother left the room as well, your little sister bit her lip as she watched your brother walk off in the direction of the bathroom. She was quick to stand and in the place you once held occupied.

"My sister said play nice, but I'd rather play rough."

She slid her hand over his thigh and inched it closer to his crotch while she smiled up at him, nibbling on her lip.

"What are you doing? I'm here with your sister, I'm her boyfriend."

"Ugh, what do you even see in her? She's not even pretty."

Before Natsou could reply, before he could defend you, your sister climbed across his lip and planted her lips against his. He wasn't kissing her back, but with her on top of him, her pressing her face against his, and her fingers deeply gripping his clothes it was difficult to get her off of him. He wasn't kissing back, he was trying to push her off but as you walked up with two margaritas in hand all you saw was your fake boyfriend kissing your sister.

It hurt. It shouldn't have, but it hurt. He wasn't yours, not really. He was just your lap partner, your friend. He wasn't your boyfriend, you were just fake dating. He wasn't yours. He wasn't yours, but it hurt to see your sister all over him. He wasn't yours, but for the night he was supposed to be. He wasn't yours but for the sake of your lie you did what any girl would do after finding her boyfriend cheating on her: You dumped your margarita down the skank.

"[Brothers Name] is right, you are a slut! And you- you-"

As your sister pulled herself off of Natsuo she looked up at you shocked with alcohol dripping down her body, you ignored her and turned your attention to Natsou. Your eyes were blurry but you had to will yourself not to cry.

"I don't need you here. You can just leave."

You didn't wait for Natsou to get up and leaves nor did you want for him to talk and explain anything to you. You simply took off in the direction of your bedroom, slamming the door behind you. Natsuo quickly jumped up on his feet and took off in the direction of your bedroom. He didn't knock, he didn't wait for permission, he just busted in and ran over to you.

"If you want to make out with my sister, that's fine. I get it, she's pretty, she's hot, she's better than me. She's everything you'd want, but you were supposed to be here with me! You were supposed to be here as my boyfriend! My parents were supposed to think we're in love. You were supposed to be mine, I don't care if it's fake, you cheated with my sister!"

The tears were leaking down your cheeks as you yelled at him. No words could pass Natsuo's lips, no matter how hard he tried. They couldn't. Seeing your tears, a product of him hurt. It hurt. He hurt you. He was trying his best to shoot his shot, he was trying to subtly woo you.

"Your sister came on to me, I tried pushing her away. She's really is a snake, you said it yourself!"

You still sniffled as you nodded at him. He was right, you had said that. He was right, she is a snake and this is exactly what she would do just to screw with your life.

"I'm sorry, your right. I shouldn't have acted like that, you're not actually mine. Natsuo, I do need you, I need you here."

"What if I wanted you to really be mine?"

You sniffling stopped as Natsuo took closer steps to you. He placed his hands on your cheeks and pulled your lips against his. This was different from earlier. The kiss wasn't quick, it was long. It was long and passionate, yet cold. Despite your shivers, you found yourself leaning into him, into the kiss.

"You- You can't do that, it's against the rules."

"Screw the rules. I just- I wish you needed me every night of the year, not just Christmas."

Natsuo ran his hands through his hair nervously. He thought speaking against your father and defending you against your sister was enough to get his point across. This idea of verbally speaking it, it scared him. This was uncharted territory for him.

"I want you [Y/N]. I want you every day of the year. I want to kiss you on the lips, I want to hold hands, I want dates and hugs. I want more than chemistry class and Christmas gatherings."

"Then you can have me! Have me every day of the year. Be mine, every day of the year. Take me on a date, hold my hand, kiss my lips!"

Natsuo pulled you against him and your face collided with his chest. You buried your face in his chest as your arms wrapped around his body and a smile formed.

"Let's not fake date, be my actual girlfriend."

You leaned up and left a quick chaste kiss on Natsuo's lips with a smile.

"I don't want anyone else to be my actual boyfriend, I suppose you might say we chemistry."

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