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#edward/jacob
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Hello, I hope you’re well. Genuine question, I know it’s joked about quite a lot, but what do you think Edward’s reaction would’ve been if at some point (probably before we get to breaking dawn), Bella had suggested that Edward, Jacob and her were in a polyamorous relationship. She loves both of them and she just can’t choose, so she decides that’s the only solution? Likewise, how would Jacob have taken it? (I imagine not quite as badly as Edward?)
For the Love of a Woman by me and @therealvinelle
Leech in the Rain by me and @therealvinelle
Caveat
This wouldn't happen both because it didn't and because that's not really what Bella wants. Bella's in this weird situation where Edward and Jacob are both gaslighting her into believing she wants a sexual relationship with Jacob. Now, she does find Jacob attractive, and she is very emotionally close to him, and things are deeply awkward at the wedding when they slow dance in a way that would have had me raising my eyebrows had I been there in person, but that doesn't seem to be what Bella wants from him.
What she wants from Jacob is for him to remain her best friend and emotional support. Jacob is the one who insists this is a romantic love, that she loves him as much as she does Edward, while Bella goes "... nooooooo I think it's difffereeeeeeeent" and neither Edward nor Jacob listening to her about it for their own reasons.
Add to that that Bella's terrified of jeopardizing her relationship with Edward. She will (and did) absolutely drop Jacob to keep Edward, 100%. Jacob makes it clear many times, even leaves town, and Bella agrees to marry Edward and turn into a vampire knowing Jacob has said he will be out because she can't lose Edward.
She's not suggesting to Edward that she actually does want to sleep with another man, let alone Jacob, who Edward has accused her of wanting to/wanted her to be with Jacob instead of him. This could cause their relationship to collapse, the Cullens to move, and Bella to not become a vampire.
And of course, that Jacob was very clear that he despised Edward/vampires in general and could barely tolerate let alone sleep with one.
It was very clearly made into an ultimatum: Bella could not choose both.
So, Bella chose Edward.
(The caveat to this caveat is that Jacob and Edward might suggest this: in which case Bella would cry, end up having to get turned by Carlisle, and Jacob/Edward takes off.
The other caveat being Leech in the Rain when Bella is safely turned but her life has utterly imploded, Edward's falling apart emotionally, and her seeking comfort from Jacob turns into "let's make a threesome tee-hee")
But She Does It
Bella summons her courage after having been made to believe she wants both Edward and Jacob sexually. She's an unconventional modern girl, marriage is stupid anyway, and she's in true love with Edward and Jacob in different ways but the same way so that's all okay. You can't choose love, you know?
So, Bella deep into the night comes up with the solution: she will fuck them both and live happily ever after.
This idea lasts 0.01 seconds.
Edward says "no" firmly. He wants to get married to have sex with her/before he turns her, he doesn't want to sleep with Jacob, don't be ridiculous Bella.
However, Bella, if you do want to choose Jacob, Edward will disappear out of her life like the morning mist never to have existed in the first place. He loves Bella, of course, but he believes she should live a human life and Jacob is technically better for her. Even if she loves Edward, she should choose Jacob. Woe.
Bella backtracks hard.
Then Edward backtracks because actually...
To have a relationship with Jacob, Bella would need to be human. If Edward has to suffer being in the room and watching them go, he'll do it, if it keeps her human. Jacob, too, might go for it so long as Bella will remain human even if it means sharing.
Jacob, while reluctant, is eventually amenable as he too would do nearly anything to keep Bella human.
We end up in a For the Love of a Woman variant, where Bella quickly realizes she doesn't like this, as Jacob and Edward are talking about her only fucking Jacob in front of Edward while he does nothing and Bella stays human.
No amount of backtracking gets Edward and Jacob to go back to the way things used to be.
Bella ends up having to dump them both, becomes a vampire, and is very sad.
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edwardsmate4ever · 11 days
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bean-writes · 9 months
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A one-shot playing with Twilight’s love triangle, only this time it’s an actual TRIANGLE. Humorous, short and sweet. Bella finally, torturously decides on Edward and tells both of them only to have them awkwardly tell her that they already chose each other.
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Aaand chapter 2 is up! Yep, I'm sticking with this Twilight fanfiction, still mostly no regrets, I'm having a good time!
Anyway, to whom it may concern: enjoy o/
Fic summary:
Twilight universe but almost everyone is queer. That's mostly it.
Lots of feelings, lots of emotions, lots of growth and people finding each other and themselves.
Once upon a time, Bella used to live in Arizona with her mother and her stepfather, but sooner than she thought she would, she finds herself headed to Forks, actually desperate to get there.
What she doesn't know yet is that she will come to cherish her life in Forks more than she ever did her life in Arizona. She will find love (as will many other people), friendship and family.
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shelbybyr · 7 months
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When you run out of fics to read
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sivyera · 7 months
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TWILIGHT characters as love tropes
ft. carlise, esme, emmet, rosalie, edward, jasper, alice, jacob, seth, leah, paul, charlie, bella
a/n: with songs to each character
༻♛༺
⤷ Carlisle Cullen - rich love
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Carlisle is a very rich man which means he will spoil you a lot. Not only with expensive gifts but also with a lot of attention and affection.
Every time when he gets home from work, he welcomes you with a kiss and warm hug.
When he has a day off, he will cook with you (even tho he cannot eat it, it's just about the time he can spend with you) or you will lay on his lap with his hand stroking your hair and book in his other hand, reading to you.
Every Friday he will take you to a fancy restaurant and than for a slow walk around the nearest park.
On your birthday or on International Women's Day (or any other 'special' day) he will spoil you even more than on normal days. Expensive jewelry, perfumes, clothes, shoes,...
He will bring you flowers at least once every two weeks. And every July he will take you on vacation and you can choose where.
Lolita - Lana Del Rey
⤷ Esme Cullen - falling in love fast
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Esme is such a kind soul so it's no surprise that you two fell in love with each other fast.
She will take you on a date every Saturday. Mostly coffee dates are her favourite. The two of you can talk for hours while drinking delicious coffee.
She will also enjoy baking with you (even tho she cannot eat/taste them)
She has many polaroids with you on them or with the both of you on them and has them hang in her closet or the small table beside her bed.
She loves when you paint her nails and massage her legs and she will always return the favor.
She loves sunny days but because she's a vampire and her skin sparkle on the sun, she cannot go out where people can see her, BUT she can go somewhere private like meadow or forest where you two can be alone and on the sun!
Sofia - Clairo
⤷ Emmett Cullen - he fell first and harder
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Emmett was absolutely over the moon when you two started dating, because he knew from the start that you two are just meant to be.
He loves, loves, LOVES when you sit on his lap. He doesn't care if you are stroking his hair or doing make-up on him, he just want you in his lap, so he can embrace you with his big arms and muscular body.
He'll dance goofily around the bedroom with you to some catchy hip-hop songs he has found.
He loves cuddling with you especially when he can be the big spoon, because he likes how tiny you're compared to him.
Matching pyjamas and make polaroids in those pyjamas, which happens to be one of his favourite memory and polaroids.
He doesn't really like reading books but he always wants you to read to him, because he loves your voice.
She's Kinda Hot - 5 Seconds of Summer
⤷ Rosalie Cullen/Hale - you fell first but she fell harder
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Rosalie has trust issues and trauma because of her past so she wouldn't fall in love easily nor fast, but trust me when she does fall in love; she loves hard.
She loves having spa day with you which includes face masks, painting nails, shared warm bath and much more.
She will take you to the mail shopping almost every day and will buy you everything you look at.
She doesn't like much PDA but she will hold your hand in public but if she gets jealous, she will show the person she's jealous off who you belong to.
She doesn't show it to others just you, but she loves cuddles. She loves when you lay next to her, face to face so she can see your beautiful face.
She's also very protective over you, so if any guy or a girl makes you feel uncomfortable (or unsafe), tell her and she will make sure they won't approach you ever again.
Prey - The Neighbourhood
⤷ Edward Cullen - first and only love
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Edward waited so many years for you, but it was worth it because he finally got you.
He loves when you kiss his forehead even tho he has to lean down because of your height difference, it makes him feel safe. Still his favourite place to kiss you is on your lips.
Edward will write poets for you and about you on small piece of paper and then put them somewhere in your room where you will notice them like your closet or on your book, laptop, notebook, pillow,...and he will bring you your favorite flowers right after the previous ones he gave you have withered.
He will also write songs about you (or for you) and then play them to you on the piano. Which he absolutely loves because you sit right next to him and look at him with those beautiful eyes of yours full of love. Edward cannot read your mind but he can sure read your eyes, the small spark and the love in them when you look at him, he just loves it!
Loves cuddling with you, his favourite position is when you lay on his chest or when he's the big spoon, face to face or hugging you from behind.
He loves having deep talks with you and he'll tell you about his childhood or about the time he was born in.
Follow You - Imagine Dragons
⤷ Jasper Cullen/Hale - unconditional love
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Jasper can be sometimes insecure just as much as Edward, they even have similar reasons... Jasper is afraid of him hurting you, he's afraid that he won't be able to control himself around you, but your words of affirmation and gently touch will calm him down.
Jasper doesn't talk much, he rather listens and he loves listens to you. It doesn't matter what you are talking about, he just loves your voice.
He will take you for a horse ride because he loved it back when he was a human and because he was a cowboy, but you two will have to share the horse because he wants your arms around him.
At first he was a bit scared of cuddling with you (again because of his control) but soon as your hand went to his hair, he melted. Both of you realized how touch starved he's so now cuddling is an everyday thing.
Jasper is a gentleman like Edward or Carlisle so he will also bring you flowers every even week.
He'll read to you to make you fall asleep, because his smooth voice is like a lullaby to you. But if Jasper feels that you are anxious, he will calm you down with his gift and than talk to you what made you anxious, eventually he will cuddle you.
R U Mine? - Artic Monkeys
⤷ Alice Cullen - any universe
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Alice (because of her gift) always knew you were the one, her one and only true love. So when she first saw you, she couldn't help but babbling to her adoptive siblings all day how amazing you are and how she's already in love with you.
She'll go to the mail with you and make small fashion show with you in the cabins with all the cute outfits she found for you and you for her.
She's mostly the small spoon (sometimes she is the big spoon but depends on the situation) while cuddling because she loves when you hold her in your arms and stroke her back.
Outside, in front of other people, she will always hold your whole arm, not just palm.
If you have trouble falling asleep, she will gladly sing to you while stroking your hair.
She'll buy matching clothes, jewerly or nail polish, because she loves when you two match your outfits or other accesories.
i wanna be your girlfriend - girl in red
⤷ Jacob Black - whatever it takes
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Jacob is willing to do anything and everything for you, his imprint. He will kill for you, he will die for you, he will do just everything.
Jacob can be sometimes insecure because he isn't that rich like the Cullens and he thinks you deserve someone who will treat you like a queen, so once again he's willing to prove you that he's worthy of your love.
He'll make you a small wolf and your favourite flower out of wood and attached it into a bracelet, which he will eventually give you to your birthday.
He's also a big cuddle bug, because he's so warm will make you comfortable enough to fall asleep. He's most of the time the big spoon because he feels like he's protecting you but he doesn't mind to be the little spoon. Cuddling also leaves his scent on you so every vampire or shape-shifter (wolf) can smell who you belong to.
He'll take you on motorcycle rides. Also he will drop you at your school on his motorcycle and then he will pick you up. Also he'll let you ride on his back while he's in his wolf form.
Jacob doesn't like fancy restaurants, he prefers his or your bed with some snacks and movies, cuddling of course!
Galway Girl - Ed Sheeran
⤷  Seth Clearwater - love at first sight
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Seth hoped that he will met his imprint someday and he heard from the others how amazing the feeling is to imprint on someone, but no one really prepared him to him because when he first saw you, your beauty hit him like a brick. And he finally understood the feeling because all he could see was you...
Seth will make sure you are always in a good mood with him, either he could tell you some stupid joke or cheesy pick-up line.
He maybe look like a cute baby but don't let his cute face fool you because he won't hesitate to kill for you, so it makes him really protective over you.
In his wolf form he's like a big puppy but only to you and he loves giving you piggy back rides in his wolf form.
Cuddling really depends on his mood; if he's in good mood he will be the little spoon with his head placed on your lap; if he's in a bad mood (mostly when he's jealous) he'll be the big spoon to show others that he can protect you.
He loves baking with you but he's clueless so he will just stand there and watch you or mix some ingredients, often sneaks up a kiss on the cheek while baking.
Dandelions - Ruth B.
⤷  Leah Clearwater - enemies to lovers
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At first Leah hated the fact that she actually had a imprint, so she would try to stay away from you as much as possible and when she couldn't; she would have some nasty comments towards you, but it hurt her as hell when she saw how sad she made you or worst insecure.
She tried hard to stay away from you but she failed, miserably. She needed you, she needed to be with you, so she will explain everything to you same as she would apologize for her acting.
Very protective of you, anyone could just try and test her patience.
At first she wouldn't want you to be near her while she was in her wolf form because she was much bigger and stronger so she was afraid that she could hurt you, but she became a sucker for scratches behind her ear.
Seth will often tease his big sister because she's really soft when it comes to you, which makes Leah give Seth few playful slaps.
When it comes to cuddling, Leah is the big spoon because she has the urge to protect you and being the big spoon makes her feel like she's protecting you in you sleep.
Running With The Wolves - AURORA
⤷  Paul Lahote - rough love
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With the term 'rough love' i mean that Paul is passionate lover and is willing to do anything for his imprint, you.
Paul isn't very patient when it comes to people but you are an exception. Still he's aggressive when someone push his buttons but you are always here to drag him away and calm him down.
Just a single touch and Paul's full attention is on you. Which brings me to the fact that he turns into a puppy when you touch him, your touch is just to comforting.
He's the big spoon because he feels like he protects you and it makes his scent stay on you.
He can get jealous very easily, he trusts you but he doesn't trusts the others and he doesn't want any boys or girls too close to his imprint.
Loves everything you cook or bake and will always eat everything.
Overprotective, if any vampire even dare to touch you, he'll kill him.
Little Freak - Harry Styles
⤷ Charlie Swan - old love
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Charlie is old school but still a huge gentleman.
He will bring you flowers every time you had a bad day and some chocolates when you had a good day to make it even better.
He loves watching old movies or crime/detective movies with you, with his arm around your shoulder.
When he has day off, you two will go on a picnic date which always ends up with you laying on his chest while he's telling you some stories from work.
Every time you bring him a lunch into his police office, he will welcome you with a warm, thankful smile and thank you with a kiss on your cheek.
He will protect you even more than before, when he finds out that there are vampires and werewolfs (shape-shifters).
Burning Love - Elvis Presley
⤷  Bella Swan - teenage love
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Bella will be awkward and nervous when she first spoke to you, because you were just too beautiful to be real. But to her surprise she made you fall in love with her which made her so, so happy.
First attempts of trying to cuddle with her or just show her simple romantic affection were awkward because she was just to nervous, eventually she will warm up and feel more comfortable.
She find our that you touch calms her anxiety and nervousness so whenever she's nervous or anxious she will just hold your hand and squeeze it gently.
Charlie was very happy that his daughter found someone like you, which made Bella even more happy when she saw how you, the love of her life and her father get along.
Often having sleepovers at her house when Charlie has night shifts, which always leads to matching face masks and cuddles.
Kisses on the cheek are her favourite, because she can easily turn and give you small peck on your cheek and visa versa.
Electric Love - BØRNS 
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edwardsdeathcabcd · 6 months
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what makes me actually boil with rage is the way it’s framed as though jacob & the cullens have an even rivalry and like, he hates them just as much as they hate him, but like… jacob is a lower class kid who lives on the rez, the cullens live in a plantation home on private property. jacob calling alice a leech is an insult, but alice calling him a mongrel calls into power and privilege, ya know. like am i supposed to honestly think jake making blonde jokes to rosalie (which is certainly sexist and uncalled for) is on the same level as her serving him food in a dog dish? him seeing the cullens as bloodsuckers and murderers is just like, incorrect and unfair, but them seeing him as uncivilized and over-aggressive has implications deeply rooted in the oppression of his people
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br3ak1ngd4wn · 5 months
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dailyflicks · 6 months
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THE TWILIGHT SAGA: ECLIPSE (2010) dir. David Slade
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mochikofi · 9 months
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Twilight Personal Favorites!
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𑁍 masterlists
Twilight masterlist - @americancowgirl19
Twilight masterlist - @cherryglossie
Twilight masterlist - (ineedmorefanfics2)
Twilight masterlist - (kimi240302)
𑁍 series
Daylight - Demetri Voltur - (kimi240302)
Wildest Dreams - Paul Lahote - (atlas-of-a-human-soul)
𑁍 Oneshots/headcannons
Period - Volturi's - Oneshot - (loveswrites)
Uno - Volturi's - Oneshot - (loveswrites)
Time - Volturi's - Oneshot - (loveswrites)
Child. - Volturi's - Headcannon - (volturissideslut)
Spills and corset. - Volturi's - Oneshot - (
The tracker, the fighter, the witch - Volturis - headcannon - (averagewriter-inthedark)
Volturi Kings/Poly - headcannon - (volturissideslut)
Sister - Queen - Volturi Kings - twoshot(?) - (americancowgirl19)
Who's the dad? - Volturi Kings - Oneshot - (the-dawn-star)
All the glitters. - Volturi Kings - Headcannon - (the-volturi-diaries)
Mate - Volturi Kings - headcannon - (twilightfansofcolor)
Bunny - Volturi Kings - Oneshot - (grampstaxidermy87)
Foursome - Volturi Kings - Oneshot - (cherryglossie)
Headcannon - Volturi Kings - (imaginingmanyfandoms)
Wooing - Volturi Kings - Oneshot - (mx-pastelwriting)
First time in bed - Volturi Kings - Headcannon - (mx-pastelwriting)
Worm - Volturi Kings - Oneshot - (demetris-cocksleeve)
Morning - Volturi Kings - Headcannon - (mx-pastelwriting)
Bisexual - Volturi Kings - Headcannon - (the-dawn-star)
Wives - Volturi Kings - Headcannon - (the-dawn-star)
Childish - Volturi Kings - Headcannons - (the-dawn-star)
Childish - Volturi Kings - Headcannons - (twilightt-fantasy)
Hit-On - Volturi Kings - Oneshot - (twilightt-fantasy)
Poly - Volturi Kings - Headcannons - (twilightt-fantasy)
Burn - Volturi Kings - Oneshot - (twilightt-fantasy)
Midnight snacks - Volturi Kings - Headcannons - (Twilightt-fantasy)
Big boobies - Volturi Kings - Headcannon - (cherryglossie)
Size - Volturi Kings - Headcannon - (cherryglossie)
The princess & the king - Aro Volturi - Headcannon - (averagewriter-inthedark)
Human mate - Caius Volturi - headcannon - (carlisles-girl)
Love of a cruel king - Caius Volturi - Oneshot - (kimi240302)
Similar - Marcus Volturi - Headcannon - (volturissideslut)
Naked - Volturi Guards - Headcannon - (imaginingmanyfandoms)
Our forever - Alec Volturi - Oneshot - (kimi240302)
Little things - Cullen Family - Oneshot - (the-twilight-diaries)
Period - Cullen Family - Headcannon - (creelmalfoylaufeyson69)
Flirt - Cullen Family - Headcannon - (charliedawn)
Nails - Cullen men - headcannons - (long-lost-cullen)
Coven mate - Cullen Family - Oneshot - (Congratzams)
Tomorrow - Cullen Family - Oneshot - (loveswrites)
Chaotic - Cullen Family - Headcannon - (carlisles-girl)
Okay and? - Cullen Family - Headcannon - (carlisles-girl)
Sick - Cullen Family - Oneshot - (loveswrites)
Too much - Carlisle cullen - Oneshot - (zmxchs)
Ludicrous - Carlisle Cullen - Oneshot - (velvetcloxds)
Sir - Carlisle Cullen - oneshot - (little-diable)
Shy - Carlisle Cullen - headcannon - (witchthewriter)
Clumsy - Carlisle Cullen - Oneshot - (homeofthelonelywriter)
Art history - Carlisle Cullen - Oneshot - (highwayorgantrade)
Perfection - Carlisle Cullen - Oneshot (specialagentlokitty)
I've got you - Carlisle Cullen - Oneshot - (marvelouswriter)
Hush now - Carlisle Cullen - oneshot - (little-diable)
Nsfw alphabet - Carlisle Cullen - (heyyyitsgrey)
Lies washed away by the pouring rain - Carslisle Cullen/Jasper Hale - oneshot - (little-diable)
Yandere cullen brothers - headcannon - (angelsworks)
Birthday! - alice cullen - Oneshot - (another-fantasy-world)
Sub - Alice Cullen - headcannon - (fairydxll)
Dating jasper - Headcannon - (kaylawritesfics)
Regrets - Jasper Hale - Oneshot - (undercoveravenger)
Crush - Jasper Hale - Headcannon - (slytherbun)
Honesty hours - Jasper Hale - Oneshot - (highwayorgantrade)
Exchange Student - Jasper Hale - headcannon - (nymphastoriasblog)
Texas - Jasper Hale - Oneshot - (little-diable)
Texas 2.0 - Jasper Hale - Oneshot - (little-diable)
Drops of water - Jasper Hale - Oneshot - (little-diable)
Consequences - Jasper Hale - oneshot - (little-diable)
Primal instinct - Jasper Hale - oneshot - (little-diable)
Break my baby - Jasper Hale - oneshot - (little-diable)
Another one - Jasper Hale - Oneshot - (little-diable)
Trust and lust - Jasper Hale - Oneshot - (joelsgeetar)
Figure it out - Jasper Hale - Oneshot - (k1nd4g4y)
Darlin, i adore you. - Jasper Hale - Oneshot - (joelsgeetar)
Cold. - Jasper Hale - Oneshot - (joelsgeetar)
Tell me all the ways to stay away - Jasper Hale - Oneshot - (joelsgeetar)
Insomnia - Jasper Hale - Oneshot - (junkdrawerfics)
Simple moments - Jasper Hale - Oneshot - (junkdrawerfics)
Crushing - Jasper Hale - Headcannon - (wintervalewriter)
Accident - Jasper Hale - Oneshot - (joelsgeetar)
Headcannon - Jasper Hale - (buckybarnesb-tch)
Awkward - Jasper Hale - Oneshot - (the-twilight-diaries)
Stand up challenge - Jasper Hale - Oneshot - (mychemicalimagines)
Polar opposites - Jasper Hale - Headcannon (americancowgirl19)
Innocent - Jasper Hale/Edward Cullen - oneshot - (ameliora-j)
Sharing a mate - Jasper Hale/Emmett - (little-diable)
NSFW alphabet - Jasper Hale - (ineedmorefanfics)
Dream - Edward cullen - Oneshot - (sage-exe)
Chaotic imprint - Wolf Pack - Headcannon - (fatiguing-thoughts)
Being paul lahote's imprint - headcannon - (nymphastoriasblog)
Just leave it to bella - Paul Lahote - Oneshot- (bangtanmix73)
Wolf form - Jacob Black - Headcannon - (qdbs-writes)
Wet clothes - Jacob Black - Oneshot - (t-h-i-n-g)
Secret - Jacob Black - Oneshot - (maladaptive---daydreamer)
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Notes! All of these are not mine, the users of the author is in the "()".
Navigation.
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What would happen if Edward got Jacob pregnant during For the Love of a Woman?
For the Love of a Woman by myself and @therealvinelle.
Beautifully, what you're talking about is the never to be written sequel in which we're playing by Two Men and a Baby rules where mpreg is possible and uh I guess Jacob can get pregnant too.
Why's That?
The timeline is too short. Remember that Edward and Jacob start their mad scheme a few weeks out from when the wedding is supposed to take place. While Edward and Jacob confront Bella immediately and come up with the plan, it takes several days/I think about a week for them to cross the line to actual real people sexual intercourse.
Then, instead of the wedding taking place, Bella fakes her death and they discover about a week after that (after doing the honeymoon) that Bella is now a vampire.
At that point the fic ends, Carlisle and Bella go to Volterra, Jasper gets dumped, Rosalie and Emmett take a vacation, and Esme, Jacob, and Edward are left behind with an implicit "don't contact us" from everyone involved.
In other words, I do not believe it was two weeks since Edward and Jacob started having sex. That was when Bella first started showing alarming symptoms.
They don't know by the time the fic ends.
Alright, Jacob's Pregnant
Neither Jacob, Edward, nor Esme have any idea that Jacob's pregnant. I would be alarmed if they did. Bella figured it out thanks to a creepy dream and tampons she never used in her luggage.
One day, shortly after the uh breaking up with the Cullens, Jacob starts vomiting everything he eats. His stomach is also looking weirdly puffy and is cold and hard to the touch.
The gang figures Jacob has the flu and Edward and Esme play nursemaid to him. Except... he's not able to eat anything all day. Edward having researched everything under the sun that Bella could possibly be stricken by, realizes that this is not good and they've past the point of "regular stomach flu" to "Jacob is severely dehydrated and must go to the ER"
Edward is very upset that his medical degree failed him in taking care of Jacob himself. He consoles himself that at least he recognized something was off enough to send him in.
Well, go to the ER Jake does but guess what they're also doing? That's right, they're checking for appendicitis, intestine issues, etc. And Jacob's stomach is being really weird right now. They try to do an ultrasound and uh, Jacob is a black box. There is a giant, black, thing that does not look like the usual organ placement and what the actual fuck?
Edward then realizes that perhaps going to the hospital was not a good idea. Carlisle never spoke about this other organ, but Carlisle didn't do ultrasounds on the wolves that were injured. Likely, this is a shapeshifter adaptation that none of them know about. Perhaps it's the organ that controls the actual shifting.
Regardless, Jacob can't stay in the hospital. The gang books it, Edward stealing IVs and fluid in the process, and Edward's back to hoping this is the flu and unable to tell what is going on.
Then the organ starts moving.
Edward really doesn't know what's going on now (as the doctors at the hospital weren't helpful either beyond their "WHAT THE FUCK?!" reactions) The idea that Jacob is pregnant is so farfetched to all involved (especially with the timing of it all) that neither think that.
Edward has no recollection of the wolves ever talking about these symptoms or thinking about them. He asks Jacob who says NO, NO HE HAS NEVER HEARD OF THIS BULLSHIT.
They call Leah.
Leah very reluctantly answers (really not wanting to, at all, in any way shape or form after the wedding) and hears them out. She hears, mysterious organ grown in abdomen type area, vomiting but not too much extended nausea, weird nudges and a very visible stomach that keeps getting bigger in that one place.
... Jacob sounds pregnant.
Does Leah want to tell him he's pregnant? She feels so ridiculous, on the other hand, she knows those two have been having sex and who knows what leech seed does to you.
"Jacob," Leah finally says, "You, ah, may be pregnant."
Edward notes that's impossible.
Leah asks how he knows that.
Men don't have any of the equipment necessary.
Jacob appears to have grown a uterus and god knows what else. Has Edward ever heard of this explicitly not happening? Edward hangs up, Leah is being stupid. Jacob agrees, Leah is being stupid, he has the flu.
The next day, Jacob's still vomiting, his stomach is bigger, and he starts asking Edward if maybe, perhaps, it's possible.
"No," Edward says, judging Jacob immensely for even thinking such a preposterous thing. Vampires are very much a sterile race, everyone knows this. They're undead for crying out loud!
Jacob, at this point, is feeling mildly pregnant with a demon baby and is not sure he agrees with that.
Also, all of Edward's info is from Doctor Cullen, who is a jackass, and Jacob wouldn't be shocked if the man was shockingly wrong about vampires having kids or just lied to his kids because he's a dick like that.
(Clearly, he and Esme could have had vampire kiddos the whole time! And Doctor Cullen just lied about it because he's a dick! And or gay, Jacob reluctantly acknowledges, since Dr. Cullen kind of announced to the universe that he was very gay.)
Edward doesn't want to agree with that, he still very much likes his father and is still not quite accepting that his father just dumped him, but he is frowning.
He decides to call Eleazar.
This, as you might imagine, turns into an impromptu road trip to the Denali coven where the sisters are overjoyed but also a little weirded out by this smelly pregnant man. Eleazar, of course, is living his best life as sex/medical expert and guru. Unfortunately, Eleazar doesn't want to say Jacob's pregnant (he'd know sleeping with a lot of men) but Jacob does appear to be pregnant (and Eleazar deep down acknowledges that the men he sleeps with... don't do well afterwards/don't stick around very long).
(Jacob is now clearly, visibly, starving and looking much like Bella did in canon. Only a week or two remains until the child eats through him, but Edward and the gang don't know that yet).
Point being, precious time is wasted as they, ever so reluctantly, conclude Jacob's pregnant.
Edward calls for an abortion, right now. Jacob's on board with this only to remember they don't have a doctor. Their doctor just vamoosed to Italy and Jacob hates him anyway.
Desperate, Jacob puts his faith in Edward's medical degree. "Come on, Edward, time to show you're just as competent as your surgeon dad". Edward feels confident, but deep down, he acknowledges he's never done a residency, never done a live surgery before, and Jacob has a womb somewhere in him that Edward has no idea where it is or how to avoid other organs in the way.
What if Jacob bleeds out? Edward has no blood to replace the blood he'll use. Edward's not even sure that Jacob can survive his new uterus being torn open? Oh dear god, what if his liver's in the way?
Eleazar promises that he can do the surgery. See, he's been studying Gray's Anatomy (he never clarifies whether this is the textbook or the TV show) and feels very confident.
Edward wants to call Carlisle, but his number's disconnected and he's off in Volterra anyway and Edward certainly isn't calling them. He has no choice.
He has to let Eleazar do this.
Long story short, the demon child survives its premature c-section, Jacob does not. As the child is probably not projecting thoughts yet, Edward kills it in a rage, as it/Edward himself murdered Jacob.
Edward goes to the wolves, asking them to please kill him (as Jacob was originally supposed to do this). They say no. He tells them he murdered Jacob. Sam... isn't sure what to do about that. He then threatens to eat the entire town of Forks if they don't. Sam, reluctantly and feeling very weird about this, kills Edward and hates everything.
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servethelight · 5 months
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Maybe the assassins would beat the templars for once if they stopped serving the light and started serving cunt.
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bella-swans · 21 days
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When millennials work in government
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forkswashington · 9 months
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the entire population of deer in forks after another long hard day of avoiding the cullens in the woods
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fuckmeyer · 5 months
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boy howdy Eclipse was really something huh
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daisyfield98 · 1 month
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