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#fast car blogging on the main
worldenough-and-time · 3 months
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The thing about Fast Car is that it is a love song but it’s a love song about how sometimes the love is real enough to get you out but not real enough to last.
Like sometimes even after you get out of the bad place you started in, the person you love never learns how to stop leaving, but that’s okay, it’s okay because the love already did what it had to do. It gave you what you needed to get out. And maybe that was a fast car, or the assurance that you wouldn’t be alone, or the feeling that you could be someone. It didn’t last, but you got out. You became someone. That person you loved left you, but they also got you to a place where you could be someone.
That’s why the song feels tragic and hopeful at the same time. The love was real. It was real enough to get you out, just not real enough to last.
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jadevine · 4 months
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Preindustrial travel, and long explanations on why different distances are like that
Update March 1, 2024: Hey there folks, here's yet another update! I reposted Part 2a (the "medieval warhorses" tangent) to my writing blog, and I went down MORE of the horse-knowledge rabbit hole! https://www.tumblr.com/jadevine/741423906984951808/my-post-got-cut-off-so-i-added-the-rest-of-it Update Jan 30, 2024: Hey folks, I've posted the updated version of this post on my blog, so I don't have to keep frantically telling everyone "hey, that's the old version of this post!" https://thebalangay.wordpress.com/2024/01/29/preindustrial-travel-times-part-1/
I should get the posts about army travel times and camp followers reformatted and posted to my blog around the end of the week, so I'll filter through my extremely tangled thread for them.
Part 2 - Preindustrial ARMY travel times: https://www.tumblr.com/jadevine/739342239113871360/now-for-a-key-aspect-that-many-people-often-ask
Part 2a - How realistic warhorses look and act, because the myth of "all knights were mounted on huge clunky draft horses" just refuses to die: https://www.tumblr.com/jadevine/732043691180605440/helpful-things-for-action-writers-to-remember
Part 3 - Additional note about camp followers being regular workers AND sex-workers: https://www.tumblr.com/jadevine/740604203134828544/reblogging-the-time-looped-version-of-my
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I saw a post on my main blog about how hiking groups need to keep pace with their slowest member, but many hikers mistakenly think that the point of hiking is "get from Point A to Point B as fast as possible" instead of "spending time outdoors in nature with friends," and then they complain that a new/less-experienced/sick/disabled hiker is spoiling their time-frame by constantly needing breaks, or huffing and puffing to catch up.
I run into a related question of "how long does it take to travel from Point A to Point B on horseback?" a lot, as a fantasy writer who wants to be SEMI-realistic; in the Western world at least, our post-industrial minds have largely forgotten what it's like to travel, both on our own feet and in groups.
People ask the new writer, "well, who in your cast is traveling? Is getting to Point B an emergency or not? What time of year is it?", and the newbies often get confused as to why they need so much information for "travel times." Maybe new writers see lists of "preindustrial travel times" like a primitive version of Google Maps, where all you need to do is plug in Point A and Point B.
But see, Google Maps DOES account for traveling delays, like different routes, constructions, accidents, and weather; you as the person will also need to figure in whether you're driving a car versus taking a bus/train, and so you'll need to figure out parking time or waiting time for the bus/train to actually GET THERE.
The difference between us and preindustrial travelers is that 1) we can outsource the calculations now, 2) we often travel for FUN instead of necessity.
The general rule of thumb for preindustrial times is that a healthy and prime-aged adult on foot, or a rider/horse pair of fit and prime-aged adults, can usually make 20-30 miles per day, in fair weather and on good terrain.
Why is this so specific? Because not everyone in preindustrial times was fit, not everyone was healthy, not everyone was between the ages of 20-35ish, and not everyone had nice clear skies and good terrain to travel on.
If you are too far below 18 years old or too far past 40, at best you will need either a slower pace or more frequent breaks to cover the same distance, and at worst you'll cut the travel distance in half to 10 or so miles. Too much walking is VERY BAD on too-young/old knees, and teenagers or very short adults may just have short legs even if they're fine with 8-10 hours of actual walking. Young children may get sick of walking and pitch a fit because THEY'RE TIREDDDDDDDDDD, and then you might need to stay put while they cry it out, or an adult may sigh and haul them over their shoulder (and therefore be weighed down by about 50lbs of Angry Child).
Heavy forests, wetlands and rocky hills/mountains are also going to be a much shorter "distance" per day. For forests or wetlands, you have to account for a lot of villagers going "who's gonna cut down acres of trees for one road? NOT ME," or "who's gonna drain acres of swamp for one road? NOT ME." Mountainous regions have their traveling time eaten by going UP, or finding a safer path that goes AROUND, so by the time you're done slogging through drier patches of wetlands or squeezing through trees, a deceptively short 10-15 miles in rough terrain might take you a whole day to walk instead of the usual half-day.
If you are traveling in freezing winters or during a rainstorm (and this inherently means you HAVE NO CHOICE, because nobody in preindustrial times would travel in bad weather if they could help it), you run the high risk of losing your way and then dying of exposure or slipping and breaking your neck, just a few miles out of the town/village.
Traveling in TOO-HOT weather is just as bad, because pushing yourself too hard and getting dehydrated at noon in the tropics will literally kill you. It's called heat-STROKE, not "heat-PARTY."
And now for the upper range of "traveling on horseback!"
Fully mounted groups can usually make 30-40 miles per day between Point A and Point B, but I find there are two unspoken requirements: "Point B must have enough food for all those people and horses," and "the mounted party DOESN'T need to keep pace with foot soldiers, camp followers, or supply wagons."
This means your mounted party would be traveling to 1) a rendezvous point like an ally's camp or a noble's castle, or 2) a town/city with plenty of inns. Maybe they're not literally going 30-40 miles in one trip, but they're scouting the area for 15-20 miles and then returning to their main group. Perhaps they'd be going to an allied village, but even a relatively small group of 10-20 warhorses will need 10-20 pounds of grain EACH and 20-30 pounds of hay EACH. 100-400 pounds of grain and 200-600 pounds of hay for the horses alone means that you need to stash supplies at the village beforehand, or the village needs to be a very large/prosperous one to have a guaranteed large surplus of food.
A dead sprint of 50-60 miles per day is possible for a preindustrial mounted pair, IF YOU REALLY, REALLY HAVE TO. Moreover, that is for ONE day. Many articles agree that 40 miles per day is already a hard ride, so 50-60 miles is REALLY pushing the envelope on horse and rider limits.
NOTE: While modern-day endurance rides routinely go for 50-100 miles in one day, remember that a preindustrial rider will not have the medical/logistical support that a modern endurance rider and their horse does.
If you say "they went fifty miles in a day" in most preindustrial times, the horse and rider's bodies will get wrecked. Either the person, their horse, or both, risk dying of exhaustion or getting disabled from the strain.
Whether you and your horse are fit enough to handle it and "only" have several days of defenselessness from severe pain/fatigue (and thus rely on family/friends to help you out), or you die as a heroic sacrifice, or you aren't QUITE fit enough and become disabled, or you get flat-out saved by magic or another rider who volunteers to go the other half, going past 40 miles in a day is a "Gondor Calls For Aid" level of emergency.
As a writer, I feel this kind of feat should be placed VERY carefully in a story: Either at the beginning to kick the plot off, at the climax to turn the tide, or at the end.
Preindustrial people were people--some treated their horses as tools/vehicles, and didn't care if they were killed or disabled by pushing them to their limits, but others very much cared for their horses. They needed to keep them in working condition for about 15-20 years, and they would not dream of doing this without a VERY good reason.
UPDATE January 13: Several people have gotten curious and looked at maps, to find out how a lot of cities are indeed spread out at a nice distance of 20-30 miles apart! I love getting people interested in my hyperfixations, lol.
But remember that this is the space between CITIES AND TOWNS. There should never be a 20-mile stretch of empty wilderness between City A and Town B, unless your world explains why folks are able to build a city in the middle of nowhere, or if something has specifically gone wrong to wipe out its supporting villages!
Period pieces often portray a shining city rising from a sea of picturesque empty land, without a single grain field or cow pasture in sight, but that city would starve to death very quickly in preindustrial times.
Why? Because as Bret Devereaux mentions in his “Lonely Cities” article (https://acoup.blog/2019/07/12/collections-the-lonely-city-part-i-the-ideal-city/), preindustrial cities and towns must have nearby villages (and even smaller towns, if large and prosperous enough!) to grow their food for them.
The settlements around a city will usually be scattered a few miles apart from each other, usually clustered along the roads to the city gates. Those villages and towns at the halfway point between cities (say 10-15 miles) are going to be essential stops for older/sick folks, merchants with cargo, and large groups like noble’s retinues and army forces.
Preindustrial armies and large noble retinues usually can’t make it far past 10-12 miles per day, as denoted in my addition to this post. (https://www.tumblr.com/jadevine/739342239113871360/now-for-a-key-aspect-that-many-people-often-ask )
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back2bluesidex · 2 months
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Where Do Broken Hearts Go - Chapter 5 (18+)
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Pairing: Model, ex-boyfriend!Jungkook X Child psychologist, Fem!Reader X Lawyer, Single Dad!Hoseok. 
Summary: Jungkook stripped your emotions naked, left you bare in the chilly wind of despair and self-doubt with an unending heartache. You tried your hardest to move on from him, to live for yourself but failed miserably. Each night you had to come back to your empty home where memories and broken dreams were scattered all around the floor, until one day a little angel and her unbelievably beautiful father came into your life. Finally, when you find yourself healing, maybe falling too, Jungkook had to show up! Again!
Theme: Angst, pining, heartbreak, break-up, smut
Warnings: Mentions of school bullying, multiple pov changes, drinking, makeout
Word count: 4.4k+
Taglist requests are closed.
Minors and karens are not allowed in this blog
A/N: Finally!! They are kisssssinnngggg!!!
Main Masterlist
Chapters:- 
Prologue/Masterpost || Chapter 1 || Chapter 2 || Chapter 3 || Chapter 4 || Chapter 5 || Chapter 6 || Chapter 7 - Finale
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Jungkook should have headed home. 
He knows he should have received Jiwon’s calls and replied to her messages at least once to confirm that he is alive. 
But he couldn’t.
He couldn't think of anything else after seeing you with another man, the man that you referred to as a special client earlier. He knows he has no right to invade your personal boundaries now, but that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t be curious or worried about you.  
What if you are wasting your life away trying to move on from him, what if your client (that didn’t look like only a client) is a pervert? 
He should be there for you. you are, afterall, much more than just his ex-girlfriend to him. 
That’s exactly what brought him to your (once shared) apartment. Even though the decision is induced by two bottles of soju and three cigarettes in a row, he doesn't regret. 
Jungkook rehearses his lines again and again. He drew a mindmap of what conversations to initiate with you once he charges straight up to your door. But even before he could head near the entryway - he sees you getting out of the same car that picked you up from Jimin’s. 
And it’s the same man that had touched you in a way he doesn’t approve of. 
He lights another cigarette as he watches the scene upfolds one after another in front of him. That man says something, you reply to him, he takes a step towards you, you take a step back, he leans down and you don’t stop him. 
Jungkook’s blood starts boiling. He throws the cigarette away and surges forward to stop whatever is going on but the car window slides down and if he is not wrong then it’s a kid who talks to the man standing with you. 
Are you flirting with a married guy now? Are you that desperate to move on? To forget him? 
Before he can understand anything, he sees you bidding them goodbye and walking away. The car leaves a little later. 
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Your face still feels hot. 
For a moment you believe that all of it is a dream. There is no way Hoseok said it’s impossible to fall out of love with you. There is no way he admitted that he could do anything to make you his. There is no freaking way he was seconds away from kissing you!  
All of it is happening too fast. It’s been roughly four weeks since you met him. And it’s been a month and half since Jungkook broke up with you. 
Aren’t you moving on too fast? Are you really attracted to Hoseok or is he just a suitable rebound to you? 
These questions plague your mind. You grip your hair out of frustration. 
Hoseok can never be a rebound. That won’t be justified to him or to the kindness he has been treating you with. 
But the way you felt nervous and breathless around him a few minutes ago, the way his dark eyes managed to make you want him shamelessly - not all of it was because you desperately want to move on from your ex-boyfriend, is it? 
The doorbell rings loudly in your empty apartment and you realize you are still sitting on the couch and you haven’t even changed. 
The clock says it’s 7:40 pm and you frown at that. You wouldn’t have visitors on a Saturday during this hour. So it might be your grocery that you placed an order for just this morning. 
Getting up from the couch, you take slow steps towards the door and the bell rings once again. The delivery guy must be in a hurry, so you scream a little “coming” as you take the doorknob in your hands and open the door. 
And your head starts spinning all at once. 
“What are you doing here?” You ask the man standing at your door. The same man who broke your heart six weeks ago. The words come out with less surprise and more anger. 
“I- uh- I need to pack rest of my stuff…” he pauses, visibly struggling with his words, “can I come in?” 
You sigh, a long one, as you open the door wider for him to come in. 
Today is indeed a bad day. You wanted to avoid him once and you ended up coming across twice. 
Shutting the door loudly enough, you look at Jungkook. He looks restless. He is still wearing the same clothes you saw him in earlier, so he might not have headed home since then. The strong smell of soju and cigarettes highents your suspicion. 
He looks back at you, with big, doe, glossy eyes. Once you felt unbelievably weak for them but now you feel numb. The moisture in those dark orbs does nothing to worry or unsettle you. 
You wait for him to say something or to head inside your (once shared) bedroom and pack up whatever stuff he had left behind. But he does nothing. He stands there staring at you as you do the same. 
You sigh again, “as far as my knowledge goes, you have nothing left to pack. But you can check again, or whatever you please.” 
You divert your eyes from him and walk towards the kitchen to pour him a glass of water. 
“I know that. I know there’s nothing left.” he finally speaks up, making your head turn towards him through the open space of the kitchen. 
You feel anger growing inside you with every passing moment. If he knew then why the fuck did he come? What brings him here at your apartment on a saturday night right when you feel way too much troubled with your feelings and emotions? 
But you control it. You are trained to control your emotions during these kinds of situations. So you take in a deep breath and open your mouth to speak again.
“Then may I ask what brings you here, Jungkook? That too in the state of intoxication? If this is about the apartment itself then let me remind you that the lease is in my name and I have already wired you the share you had paid up until the breakup.”  
He walks towards you. Standing on the other side of the kitchen counter he says, “I just wanted to see you, Y/N.” 
A sarcastic chuckle bubbles in your throat at that. 
“We don't really share a relation to see each other frequently, don’t you think so? Besides, you just saw me this afternoon.” 
This time Jungkook laughs. Just like yours, his laugh, too, is punctuated with sarcasm. But you don’t know how he can be sarcastic. He is the one who left you, he is the one who has a girlfriend waiting at home for him while he is here at his ex-girlfriend’s house and he is the one who should be guilty, not you. 
Suddenly you feel a strong urge to throw the glass full of water on his face. But you calm yourself down again. 
“Well, you didn’t even look at me properly. You were so eager to entertain your special client that you basically ran out of Jimin’s place.” 
The insides of your mouth taste sour at how Jungkook emphasized the words special client.
“I don’t get it.” your head feels heavy, squeezing your eyes shut tight you continue, “I don’t get why are you here at this hour, having an unnecessary argument about my life?” 
“I am not arguing with you.” Jungkook frowns as he manages to protest. 
“Okay.” you resign. You know stretching the matter any further will only complicate things and you don’t want that to happen. You don’t want him inside your home or within your 10 meter radius ever again.  
Feeling Jungkook’s constant stare on you, you stand straight and try to put an end to whatever is happening right now, “Jungkook, you are drunk. Let me book a cab-” 
“Who is he?” your ex-boyfriend cuts you off. 
“Who are you talking about?” you can sense jealousy and possessiveness in his voice. And this is something you never liked even when you were together. So, seeing him jealous now because of whatever reason, when he is the one who left you, makes you even more furious. 
“That guy you almost kissed a few minutes ago?” the words leave through his gritted teeth, triggering something venomous inside you. 
“Does your pretty little actress girlfriend know that you have been following your ex-girlfriend and keeping records of the guys I meet?” you actually grip the glass now, ready to throw the water on Jungkook’s face if he says another word out of line. 
“You didn’t answer me, Y/N. Who was he?” Jungkook stands his ground, stubborn to show his non-existent rights on you. 
“That’s. None. Of. Your. Business.” The words come out low but coated with anger. You fail to recognize yourself. 
Jungkook comes closer to the kitchen counter and lodges himself between the stools. Only the thin kitchen island is separating the two of you. 
Two months ago, you yearned to have him at this proximity at least. Ironically enough, now you hate it. 
“It is. It is my business if you are flirting with a married guy just to move on from me! I should.. I should step in.” 
And that’s it. That was the last nail in the coffin.  
You pour the water on his head without waiting for a second more. 
He closes his eyes with a visible tick in his jaw as the cold water runs down from his hair down to his face, gradually wetting his clothes. 
“Come out of your dream, Jeon Jungkook. The world doesn’t revolve around you. My life, my choices, my decisions - nothing, you impact nothing! You aren’t worth my thoughts or my tears anymore. Do you get that?” you spat at his face. 
Jungkook stands still. The change in your level-headed demeanor took him by surprise, it seems. However, his gaze softens, jaw relaxes soon. Maybe it’s the cold water or maybe his conscience decided to make a comeback now. 
Running a hand through his now dripping hair, Jungkook tries to establish his point again, “Y/N, I am sorry. I am just worried about you. That guy has a kid-” 
“I will give you two minutes to leave, Jungkook. If you fail to do so I am going to call your manager.” You garb a kitchen towel and throw it on his face, “or worse… the paparazzi.” with that you leave him hanging awkwardly at the dining space making a beeline for your bedroom for some solace. 
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“Jungkook! Where have you been? Have you checked your phone? I have been texting and calling you? Are you alright? Did anything happen? Why are you soaked? Jungkook? Fucking answer me!” 
Jungkook’s head pounds more and more with every single word that comes out of Jiwon’s mouth.
He is still processing whatever happened tonight. But the alcohol level in his blood makes it almost impossible to form a coherent chain of thoughts. Jiwon, too, keeps throwing questions at him, pushing him towards the edge of losing his cool. 
Somehow managing to get out of his heavy boots, he trudges towards the couch and flops down, completely ignoring his girlfriend’s questions and presence. 
“Jungkook, please tell me. Did something bad happen? Where were you all day?” She sits at the end of the couch, by his leg, her voice is slightly less hyper than it was a minute ago.
“At Jimin’s” Jungkook whispers briefly as he covers his face with one of his forearm. He needs to rest. He needs to provide his mind and heart with a break after everything those went through today. But as soon as he closes his eyes, your face is what he sees. 
He has never seen you as angry as today. In those three years he spent with you, there were fallouts and arguments but never once you were as furious as you were today. You used to be either silent or passive aggressive before, but today you attacked him directly. There was fire in your eyes and venom in your voice. You even poured cold water on him. 
He knows he was unreasonable today. He knows he pushed all of your buttons. But what he doesn’t know is why he is hurting. 
He fell out of love with you. He, now, loves someone else. 
Then why on earth the prospect of you dating another man hurts him this much. Why couldn't he stop himself from acting unreasonable today? Why did he show up at your place and make a scene when it shouldn’t be his business to interrogate who you are dating.     
Jiwon shakes his body and he realizes that his sleeves are now wet with his tears. 
Fuck! Why am I crying? Jungkook thinks as he tries to sit up. 
“You weren’t with Jimin. He said you left after lunch. And it’s 9 pm now.” sniffing carefully, Jiwon adds, “and you are drunk.” 
“Yeah. I went for a drink later on.” Jungkook sighs. 
“Okay. But how did you get wet?” Jiwon throws her next question. 
“Can you please shut it, Jiwon?” the shout comes out of his throat involuntarily, so much so that it even takes himself by surprise. But he does nothing to conceal his bubbling annoyance, not even when he sees Jiwon’s eyes growing glossy. 
“I am sorry. I was just worr-” 
“I am sorry, too, Jiwon! I am sorry for not responding to your calls and messages and for shouting at you now but-” he sighs, feeling defeated, “but can you please leave me alone? I need to rest.” 
“Yeah, alright.” Jiwon gets up from her seat and walks towards the bedroom. 
Jungkook can feel her stopping in the middle of her tracks, turning towards him. 
“But if it’s about her, then… you need to fix yourself as soon as possible.” 
Jungkook doesn’t answer that.
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Sunday and Monday go in a blur. 
You somehow feel way better after kicking Jungkook out of your apartment. A little, angelic part of you regrets being rude to him, especially for pouring cold water on his head. 
You could have handled the situation better, like the adult you are. On top of that, you are a psychologist. You should have acted more wisely. 
But the bigger part of you is satisfied. 
You accepted everything when he said he fell for someone else. You did let him go knowing that there is no point of holding someone on when their heart isn’t with you anymore. 
But you couldn’t accept his unreasonable possessiveness or the way he shamelessly showed up at your place and especially the way he talked about you and Hoseok. 
So in conclusion, Jungkook deserved it. 
And you feel good about it. 
After a while everything seems to be falling in place. You are starting to heal, you are getting attracted to someone very appealing, you had only two clients left, one of which just had her last counseling with you today. 
Another one is Sua, and you have a very good feeling about her too. 
Tonight you decided to treat yourself a little. Lightening a lavender scented candle and choosing an over-expensive sheet mask to pamper your face, you lie down on your bed. 
For once you decide to think about absolutely nothing. You want to let your mind float and see where it lands. 
Your eyes close. The wet, cold sensation from the sheet mask feels too good on your face and you try to focus on that only. 
But bam! 
As soon as you let your thoughts flutter, those decide you paint a particular face with heart shaped smile, dark, warm and mysterious eyes, and a lithe body that you want on yours-
And your phone rings. 
An annoyed groan leaves your lips! 
“Why the fuck did I leave it on ring?” grabbing the phone from the night stand you scream at yourself. 
But your annoyance dies as soon as you see the intruder's name on the screen. 
It’s Hoseok. 
You gulp, smoothing your voice that went hoarse with the scream, and then you pick it up tapping the speaker icon. 
“Hey, Y/N” his smooth voice fills your ear. A smile creeps to your lips without your knowledge, “Is this the right time to talk to you? I didn’t disturb you, did I?” 
His unsure voice cut through the little bit of hurt that you have been feeling after experiencing radio since from his side after whatever happened on Saturday. 
“No, you didn’t. Tell me what’s up? Is Sua alright?” You try to keep your voice professional. And professionally he shouldn’t call you past business hours if it’s not an emergency. 
“Yeah, she’s fine. She’s better actually. We went grocery shopping yesterday and she was a lot more talkative. Thanks for everything.” 
“Eh. I’m not going to discount you even if you keep thanking me.” 
He laughs at that, making you feel lightheaded with the sound. 
“I have a favor to ask, actually.” hoseok says, as the laugh dies down. 
“Yeah. Tell me.” 
“Sua’s homeroom teacher has called for a PTA on wednesday and I have decided to let her know everything. But I don’t think I will be able to handle the situation wisely since I can’t keep my anger in check when it comes to her. So….” 
“So?” 
“So, could you please join me? Since you are her doctor you will be able to do it better.” 
You stay silent. The idea of joining Hoseok to his daughter’s PTA meeting feels too intimate. Even though you know you are going just as her doctor.  
“It’s totally alright if you don’t want to. I know this might not be under your responsibilities and I am sor-”
“I will join you. You can text me the time and address, right?” 
“Yeah sure. Sure, I can.” 
You can feel his smile on the other side of the line. 
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It doesn’t take you a minute to spot Hoseok and his luxurious sleek car. And you feel your breath caught in your throat yet again. 
How can a man be so attractive? He is handsome indeed but the aura of authority that he exudes knocks you off your socks each and every time you see him. 
When your eyes meet, he is still on the phone. For a moment you wonder, if it’s the woman Mina or not. 
“Hi… Thanks for coming.” Hoseok voices, cutting the call. His dark eyes bore into yours. You can see his Adam's apple bobbing as he quickly checks you out from head to toe. 
Fuck! Did you overdress yourself? 
“Again, hoseok, I get paid for doing this.” you add a little playfully making him chuckle. 
This time, you check him out. 
He has chosen to wear a black turtleneck today, tucked inside tight black slacks, along with a black blazer. 
Miraculously enough, you have chosen to wear a black wrap dress. And you two look nothing short of a grim reaper couple today. 
You chuckle to yourself at the thought. 
“Do I? Do I look funny?” Hoseok asks in surprise. 
You wave your hands desperately to dismiss his thoughts, “No no. It's just that we look like a grim reaper couple today. Dressed in all black.” 
“Oh” hoseok laughs lightly, “but a couple regardless.” 
You lose both of your mind and heart at his statement. 
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The meeting went smoother than you expected it to. 
Obviously, the homeroom teacher couldn’t find her voice when you handed her Sua’s counseling reports. 
Even though she once tried to defend herself when Hoseok told her that she should have focused on Sua better, that she should have monitored her behavior and informed him if she was being quieter than usual. But she acknowledged her carelessness when you pointed out all the behavioral changes that were easy for a teacher to spot. 
She decided to talk to Jaemin and her parents personally and let you and Hoseok know of the outcome. And she also promised to take special care of Sua and transfer Jaemin to a different section to keep him away. 
“Do you think that kid and his parents will understand his mistakes?” Hoseok asks as you two walk through the corridor. 
“They should but that depends a lot on what kind of people they are. Since Jaemin is as old as Sua, it’s impossible for him to develop the concept of an illegitimate child by himself. He must have heard that somewhere, most likely from his mother. Even though it’s just my assumption, if that’s the case then his parents need to be schooled as well.” 
“Then we will need to meet them personally.”  
“Yes, if that kid refuses to leave Sua alone, we will have to meet them personally. And I will try my best to make them reflect on their mistakes, don’t worry.” you add briskly, stepping out of the school building. “I’ll take my leave now, bye.”
“No wait.” Hoseok holds your forearm, even though you haven’t moved an inch or tried to walk away from him. 
The foreground is full of parents but it seems like no one is paying you any attention, so you try to relax yourself at his touch. 
Hoseok eases too and lets his hand fall by his side, “do you have any plans for this evening?” 
“No. I don’t.” Your heart starts beating loudly. Is he going to ask you out or something?
“It’s almost 3:30 now and I assume you have had your lunch already. So, why don’t you have dinner with me and Sua? I am gonna pick her up from noona’s place on our way home.” Hoseok proposes. 
You think it through for a while. Dinner? At his place? Will you be alive by the end of the day? 
“I don’t think-” 
“Please, Y/N? Please?” Hoseok pleads, stepping towards you. 
“Okay then.” you let your resistance fall limp on the feet of your emotions. 
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Hoseok is not a good cook but he knows how not to mess simple things up. So he sticks to the basics - Kimchi fried rice and samgyeopsal, accompanied by all the banchan his mom and sister send him every week.
He knows he needs to focus on the vegetables while chopping those but he can’t keep his eyes from wandering towards you. 
You look so bold and beautiful today. The black wrap dress is perfectly professional yet too sexy. He wants to undo that tie and let the dress fall on your feet to discover whatever wonders you are hiding underneath. 
You giggle with Sua. Both of you are coloring something while you engage her in a casual conversation. 
Hoseok’s heart warms at the scene. 
This is what he always wanted. A small family, a mother-figure for sua and a partner for himself. But he knows he doesn’t deserve you. Why would you want a single father like him when you could have bachelors lining for you. 
But then again, you didn’t stop him when he was about to kiss you that day. You accepted his invitation even though Namjoon mentioned you to be strictly professional. And now you are at his house, sitting in his dining room, playing with her daughter as he cooks for the three of you in the kitchen. 
Is he being too greedy? 
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“You have got a beautiful balcony here.” You mutter staring at the sight ahead. 
“Really? Thank you.” Hoseok comes to stand beside you, handing you the glass of wine. 
“Yeah. your house, too, is very clean and organized, which is very rare for single parents, especially single fathers. It tells of the fact that you are, as a person, very sorted out.” You complete before taking a sip from your glass. 
Hoseok’s eyes are fixed on your side profile. He doesn’t say anything, just keeps staring at how gorgeous you are. 
Then you turn your face towards him, giving him a lazy smile, you say “What? Am I wrong?” 
“No. Not at all. About cleanliness though, Sua helps a lot. Even though she is only seven, she knows how to keep things at their places. She’s truly much more mature than the kids of her age.” he smiles at the thought of her daughter. 
You smile too, remembering how she fell asleep keeping her head on your lap earlier. 
“Sua is very tired today.”  you whisper. 
“Yeah she is. She never slept before having her dessert. She is definitely very tired today.” Hoseok nods in agreement. 
“Do you know why she is tired?” 
“Why?” 
“Because she played around after a long time. She told me that she became friends with her hoobaes and taught them how to play red light, green light.” 
“What? Really?” 
“Yeah. She is getting better, Hoseok.” you finally turn towards the man fully and find him way too close to keep a respectable distance between two bodies. 
Hoseok, though, is loving the proximity. He wants to have you close, right now… forever. 
“And a lot of credit for that… goes to you. You are such an exceptionally great dad.” You smile up at him. Your heart is wilding inside your rib cage and you want to know if Hoseok is feeling the same.   
“What about me as a man in general?” Hoseok whispers, starting to lean down. You are irresistible and he doesn’t know how to control himself anymore. 
“That’s not under my diagnosis. I need to find that out personally. But my work ethic won’t allow me.” you let the words out of your mouth. But your body completely deceives you as you close whatever distance your bodies had left in between. 
The moment your body touches his, your eyes meet his pair, which are now hazy with lust, Hoseok loses it. 
“Fuck ethics” you hear him curse before his mouth crashes yours. His free hand winds around your waist, pulling you closer. You kiss him back instantly. 
Two pairs of lips mold perfectly against each other. 
Hoseok kisses you relentlessly, as if he has been hungry for your lips for a long time now. His hand holds you tightly to keep you in your place. 
Your free hand grabs him by his neck, kissing him with just as much urgency. 
He sucks your lower lip as you do the same with his upper one. Soon his tongue finds its way inside your mouth, testing every corner. 
You moan in his mouth when you feel his hands diving down to your ass and giving it a pleasant squeeze. 
“Stay the night?” Hoseok whispers parting for a bit, as a string of saliva connects both of your lips. 
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Taglist 1:-
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Paid Internship (Part 1)(Prison AU)
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Author's Note: This is a Prison AU that the viewers of my blog seem to be pretty fond of. The main focuses for the romance parts will differ depending on the part, but for part 1, it's Liu, Jeff, and Toby. The reader is gender neutral and uses She/He stuff, but sometimes depending on what's going on I'll use stuff like Tits. Also, Sully will be in the fic, but I won't use his name. Pay attention to how Liu talks, they will be major differences between his first meeting and his interview.
Author's Note 2: This is definitely one of my longest and most plot heavy fics on my account. I do plan for this to be multi parter, so this part will be heavy on introducing the characters. This part will have some yandere moments, but they will be mostly prominent in part two. If you wanna be tagged for part two, leave a comment, or reblog.
Summary: Welcome to your paid internship at Roosevelt Federal Prison. After being seen for your potential and skills by your instructor at the Academy, he decided to give you opportunity of working in the US' most dangerous prison despite the disapproval and rejection from the higher ups. However, due to miscommunication and faulty paperwork, you're gonna up working with some of America's most danger serial killers for the semester.
Warnings: Descriptions of crimes, Rape Mentioned, Perversion, Manipulation, Gaslighting, Gore, Sadism, Violence, Implied Nudity, Kidnapping, Implied Abuse, Hostages, Death, Murder, Threats, Mood Swings, Sexual Abuse Implied, PTSD, Mental Illness, Dealings, Attempted Murder, Survivor's Guilt,Cursing, Sleep Deprived Workers, Stress, Agression, and More. This AU is not fo the faint of heart.
Word count: 13.5k
Links: {Masterlist} {Prison AU Introduction}
"Hey kid, you ready?"
You were taken out of your train of thought by your instructor and mentor, Officer Joseph Gibbons. Joseph was a man in his 50's, his once hazelnut hair now started to fade into a light grey, he was a man on the heavier side, plump like a mall santa clause, and despite his uniform being quite clean, it was covered in the smell of cigarettes and men's colone.
"...Not really. Are you sure I'm ready for this?" You asked, fiddling with the sleeves of your uniform.
"Ready? Out of the students at the Academy your the most ready for this. Any other Prison just wouldn't do you any good."
"Any go-"
"And we're here!" Joseph exclaimed, cutting you off mid sentence as he walked out.
You took a deep breath before walking out of the car. When you stepped out, you were greeted with heavy rain and loud thunder. As you looked up at the Prison, you felt a sense of fear hit you. It was like something straight out of a horror movie. The Prison was massive, you could probably see it from miles away if not further. Various plants were taking over the brick and metal walls, you could see officers walking around with flashlights, making sure nobody was trying to get in or out, two large guard outpost stood high on each side of the building, each of them blasting a bright light, and a large metal barbwired gate keeping whatever was inside from getting out.
"Joseph!" A voice yelled from the distance, causing the two of you to shoot your heads in the direction of the noise.
Whoever the voice belonged to, they were running towards the two of you pretty fast, waving their arms around like a lunatic.
"Esther, my dear friend. How the kids?" Joseph asked with a smile as he hugged the man.
Now that the man was closer, you got a better look at him. He had short red hair, a face full of a freckles, a small beard slowly starting grow in, and he was definitely younger than your mentor. He was maybe in his late 30's, early to mid 40's. He was in well shape too, his biceps peeking through the gaurd uniform he wore. He had a pistol, taser, and handcuffs strapped to his waist band on the right side of his body, meaning he was most likely right handed.
During your first year at the Academy, you were taught to see every single detail in a suspect or in a scene, no matter how small or big it was, and now you found yourself doing it like it was second nature at this point.
"They're good, they're good. Havent seen them for a while though, I've been stuck here all week! Now, where's this prodigy you've been pushing for?"
"Esther, meet Y/N L/N. Y/N, this is Officer Esther Wibbsy, I met when I first worked here. He's gonna be watching over you during this whole thing."
"Nice to meet ya, L/N," Esther said, sticking his hand out.
You shook his hand with a nervous smile, unconsciously gripping his hand hard in an attempt of letting out your nervousness.
"Dang, nice grip," He said, pulling his hand back.
"Thanks..."
As you pulled your hand back and wipped your sweat on the pants of your uniform, Joseph started to slowly walk back to the car.
"Your shift ends at 10AM tomorrow, you got this, kid! Remember everything I taught you and you'll be fine."
And as Joseph closed the door of the car and drove off, your only hope of backing out left with him.
"Don't worry, you're not going to be working with the actual dangerous ones."
"I'm not?"
"Walk and talk with me, I'll explain everything on the way."
You let out the biggest sigh of relief before following Esther.
"Roosevelt is divided into two sections. The section you're going to be working in is the normal prisoners. They're still extremely dangerous, but they're a lot more manageable then the others."
"The others?"
"The other section is what give Roosevelt it's reputation. You see, Roosevelt doesn't hold only people, we hold monsters, demons, supernatural beings that we didn't even know existed until we caught them. They're in the other section. The goverment put them here because they don't know what to do with them."
"Woah, so, how do you know I won't run into them?"
"That's the thing, I don't really know. To be honest with you, I think the only reason most of them are still here is by their own choice. Most of them are on death row, and if they really wanted to they can leave, especially Ben."
"Ben?"
"Huh? No I was just rambling..."
As the two got closer to the main gate, something caught Esther’s eyes.
"You see that random brick wall," Esther said, pointing to a wall that stood in the middle of the courtyard, starting from the building all the way until it hit the gate. From the angle you were at, you could just barely see a roof.
"Mhm."
"They're behind that wall. That entire half is their section. Most of the officers who work in that part have been trained specifically to work there and nowhere else."
You felt chills go down your spine as you stared at the wall. Something about it gave off a terrible aura.
"Who's staying in that part..."
"Have you heard of Jeffery Woods?"
"Yeah, Jeff the Killer? Slit mouth?"
"Yeah. That guy, is in that part."
"He's real? I thought he was just some urban legend from when I was a kid. His face was everywhere."
"Nope, he's real, and he's in there. Those pictures aren't what he actually looks like though, he's not that ugly. However, people like him are the reason why you're working in my part, it's a lot safer."
And as those words left his mouth, the two of you stood at the gate entrance. You and Esther walked up to the booth where a lady stood there with a tired, blank expression.
"Who's that?" She asked.
"The intern from Gullermary Academy. Joseph's student."
"Oh... Proceed."
Esther nodded as he opened the metal door and allowed you to walk in first. As you walked in, you were greeted with loud screams and banging from all directions.
"You'll get used to that," Esther said as he walked past you. "Wait in my office, I gotta go get your file from the boss." He then pointed to the door that had Officer Wibbsy written on a metal plate. "You can take any of the snacks, get comfortable because this might take a while."
"OK, thank you," You said, smiling.
Esther merely gave you a soft smile before walking off. Once he was out of view, you opened the door to his office and looked around. On his desk, you saw a picture of a woman smiling. She had freckles with long blonde hair. When you picked up the picture, you saw a date at the bottom.
"September 17, 2017," You read.
Was the woman dead? Or was it the date the photo was taken? Either way, it really wasn't your business. As you sat the picture back down, next to it was a picture of Esther with the woman in the photo next to him. The woman was wearing a white gown while Esther wore a suit, and in his arms was a baby girl wearing a little white dress and next to him was a little boy in a suit as well. Looking up, you saw his diploma in Criminal Justice and next to it was his certificate from the academy.
After taking a look, you plopped down on the chair and stared up at the ceiling. You weren't exactly sure what this internship had in store for you. When Joseph brought it up to you last semester, he kept it very vague. He'd often dismiss your questions and cut you off when you pushed it. You weren't suspicious however, since he was always like this when he tought you during your first year.
You wondered on what kind of prisoners you'll meet. Will you meet someone who was falsely accused and now is paying the price? Maybe you'll meet someone who has been in and out of jail and now is here. Due to your young curiosity, your mind just kept on racing with ideas. But suddenly, your phone began to ring.
Looking down, you saw the words "Mom's calling..." on your phone.
"Hello?" You asked.
"Hi sweetie, how are you?'
"I'm alright. I'm just waiting for my observer to come back with my stuff."
"Oh honey, I'm so proud of you! But, be careful, alright? I don't want anything happening to you."
"I will, mom, I will. You know how good I am."
"I know, I just don't want anything happening to my little girl/boy."
"I know. But, how are you doing mom?"
"I'm doing alright. Me and your father plan on taking a trip to Florida in the spring."
"That's great! Enjoying retirement I see," You said in a teasing tone, earning a giggle from your mother.
"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN?! THIS IS NOT WHAT HE SIGNED!" A voice suddenly yelled, overpowering the screams of the inmates.
"What was that?" Your mother asked, worried.
You stayed silent as you tried to listen to what was going on.
"I'll call you back, mom," You said, before hanging up.
You slowly walked out the room and looked down the narrow hallway, holding onto your gun tightly as you did.
"I'm telling you for the last time, this is what Joseph signed, his signature is right here."
"That is not what he fucking told me. I know damn well he's not stupid enough to put some barley experienced 24 year old in a room with this country's most dangerous criminals. As their observer, I can't allow this!"
You felt your heart stop when you heard those words come out from Esther's mouth. Despite your wonky confidence in your abilities, you were far from naive. You were not ready for this.
"Look, I'm just as unhappy about this as you are, Joseph is fucking stupid for signing this, but legally there's nothing we can do."
"I already told them that they were going to be fine, I won't even be able to observe them! Who's going to even teach them shit?!"
"I don't know, Wibbsy, I don't know. I can call Joseph and ask him what he wants up to do, but for tonight, they're working in the Creeps section, whether you like it or not."
Esther pulled at his hair and he looked at his boss with rage.
"If that kid dies because of this, I'm fucking done with this place, you hear me?"
"I hear."
When Esther walked out of the room, he was greeted by your shocked, frozen figure at the end of the hallway.
"You heard it, didn't you?"
"Y-Yeah..."
"Just... Shit... Take this and just, go straight down that hallway, and they'll take you from there."
"Uh...Ok. I'll see you later," You said nervously as you took your file and walked off.
Esther stared at you as you walked off, feeling a sense of guilt and responsibility consume him like water.
"Please don't die..."
The hallway to the other side was extremely narrow and costraphobic, you could feel the walls press up on you as your walked. One thing about the entire journey that disturbed you wasn't the leaking walls or the filthy floors, but it was the silence. Compared to the other section that was booming with noise, the closer you got to the second half, the quieter it got. You could only hear little whispers from behind the walls, but they were so quiet that you couldn't make out a word. The hallway was dark, dirty, and wet. You assumed that the rain from the storm has leaked through the walls and onto you. You could see roaches and even saw a rat run past you. You wanted to throw up. It was as if this place was abandoned.
When you got to the end of the hall, there was large metal door. There was no card scanner, or even a person standing in a booth.
"Hello? Hello?" You said, knocking on the door.
Suddenly, the door creaked open, and a short lady started at you with wide eyes.
You could only see the woman's head, but she looked as if she was held hostage for years. Her eyes were wide, as if she had been traumatized, her hair was a mess, her officer cap was barely covering her head, and her face seemed to be bruised.
"...Name..." The woman said, staring into your eyes.
"Y/N L/N. I'm the intern."
And before you could blink, you were grabbed and forced into the horrors that awaited you.
The lobby section was bright and white, similar to a hospital. However, there was no cameras, or an officer sitting behind the glass with a computer.
There was a metal door that stood in front of you, keeping from whatever was on the other side from getting out. Ingraved into the door were the words "Inmate Quaters."
"Let me see your file," The woman said shakily, taking the file from your hands.
"Um, are you OK, ma'am?"
"Me? Oh...I'm alright, I didn't get the worse of it."
"WE NEED SECURITY PERSONAL IN SOLITARY CONFINEMENT, BEN'S CELL 001 IMMEDIATELY, I REPEAT, WE NEED SECURITY PERSONAL IN SOLITARY CONFINEMENT, BEN'S CELL 001 IMMEDIATELY!" The woman's walkie blasted as she read your file.
Suddenly, a large group of men ran past the two of you, carrying guns and covered in riot gear.
"Um...Ma'am?"
"Hm?" The woman responded, not taking her eyes off your file.
"Who's Ben?"
"If you're not working on his case I can't tell you anything, sorry."
"Oh...Ok."
"Huh...The Woods... Rogers... Otis... Wright... Thomas... This... no, this can't be right. Are they fucking stupid?" The woman asked, looking up at you.
"I don't know, maybe?"
"OK, It's fine, it's fine! Who's on the roster for today... Rogers... Jeffery... Liu... At least you got Liu... Ok, follow me."
The woman walked towards the door that had "Inmate Quaters" written on it, beckoning you to follow her.
"Have you gone through your file?"
"No, I've only been for forty minutes..."
"Here, read it. Read the first three for now, the others you'll be working on at a later date."
Once the lady handed you your file, you started to read through it as the two of you made your way to the cells.
The file was the one of a picture of a man with pale skin, greasy black hair, a slitted mouth, and a crazed smile. He was a picture of his mugshot, eyes bloodshot with a large shit eating grin.
"Jeffery Woods. A man in his early 30s, arrested for multiple accounts of serial Murder, Mutilation, Kidnapping, Torture, Stalking, Vandalism, Arson, Breaking and entering, Parricide, Drug use and rape. He has the reputation of assaulting, mocking, teasing and harassing guards. Jeff is often in solitary confinement, but that doesn't stop him from his usual actions. Has to be kept away from Jane Elizabeth Arkensaw due to them activity starting fights. He is deemed one of the deadliest prisoners in our institution. During your internship, he will be one of the prisoners you'll be interacting to help sharpen your skills. He will by far be one of if not the hardest to interrogate. His case is still under investigation..."
You read the words on the paper with disgust. His smile, so deranged, so sadistic, as if he was talking a school picture, ignoring the lives of those he's ruined or taken.
"Be careful with Jeff, he likes pretty ones," The woman commented as you read.
"Wait, I have a question."
"Ask it."
"Will be looking into their case? Like, will I be doing interviews and looking at evidence?"
"Well, I'm not sure about evidence, their cases are gruesome, and the transcripts of victims' families interviews and the interviews of victims who survived are not pretty... However, I know you will be interviewing some of them, like The Woods and Rogers. Now keep reading, we're most there."
You nodded as you moved Jeff's paper to end and looked at the next one. The image was the one of a man with stitches. He had a blank tired expression in his mugshot, not sad or sadistic, but one of bordem. He had brown hair with bright green eyes, and just like Jeffery, he was pretty pale.
"Liu Woods, also known as Homicidal Liu. A man in early to mid 20s, arrested for Serial murder, stalking, kidnapping, robbery, breaking and entering, assault, and vandalism. Currently serving a a sentence of 50 years but has a chance of parole once he serves 20. Liu is the little brother of Jeffery Woods, and after Jeffery almost murdered him, he developed an alter ego named Sully. Lui is is relatively quiet, observant, possessive and violent. But his violence gets worse when he's Sully. Lui normally doesn't harm guards or prisoners unless provocted, but he has attacked them with no apparent reason on multiple accounts. Liu is one of the prisoners you will be seeing often due to you working mostly in his section of the prison, where most of the pastas are such of Eyeless Jack and Toby. Warning when dealing with Liu, watch your words and actions, DO NOT touch anything of his unless it's a danger to him or others, and don't ask him too much about his past due to it being his biggest trigger in becoming Sully. If you're dealing Sully, be extremely careful, don't make sudden moves and don't anger him. Sully is extremely violent, sadistic but oddly childish. Sully is supposedly a seven year old according to both himself and Liu, so treat him as an extremely dangerous child."
You stared at Liu's image for a few moments after reading the report. Him and Jeff barely looked the related besides in the eye shape and skin color. With mugshots alone, you felt as if your experience with the two brothers will be drastically different.
"Do you have any advice on Liu?" You asked to woman.
"No. He isn't too bad, just really, really quiet. But when he does talk, he's very charming. He's a man of few words."
You nodded in response as you placed Liu's file in the back and looked down at the last one. It was a picture of a man, messy brown hair, the right side of his cheek was missing, revealing his teeth and gums, his eyes held heavy bags as if he hadn't sleep for days, and his neck and hands were covered in bandages. His expression was a pretty tired one, his eyes were droopy as he stared into the camera, some of his hair covering his face as he looked.
"Tobias Erin Rogers. A man in his late 20s arrested for Serial murder, Torture, Vandalism, Arson, Stalking, Patricide, Breaking and Entering, Kidnapping, and suspected of multiple accounts of sexual assault but is yet to be confirmed. Currently sentenced to life in jail with possibility of parole after serving a minimum of 30 years. He suffers a handful of disorders and quite often causes trouble for both staff and other inmates. He struggled with controlling his emotions and his impulsive behavior which often leads to himself, inmates and staff to be harmed. Despite this, you will be interacting with him during your internship due to him being able to get a long with staff for a short period of time if he finds them "hot." Warnings, don't get too attached, don't believe most of the things he says, don't give or take anything from him, and don't let his suffering fool you. He has a history of using his suffering against others and actually led to him escaping when he was first sent here when he was 19, and they didn't capture him again until last year when he turned 27."
"WE still don't know much about Rogers," The woman said as she stopped walking, causing you to bump into her.
"Oh, sorry," You said, backing away to give her some space. "But, why is that?"
"He hasn't told us jack shit. He hasn't told us about his motives or his past, the only things we know is the murders he's rambled about in past interviews. Since you two are pretty close in age, maybe you got a better shot then we do," The woman responded, opening the door that led to the door of the inmates quarters.
When the woman opened the metal door, there was a massive wall of metal and glass. It was a look in to see the inmates, and luckily it was a one way mirror.
"This is where the inmates sleep and spend most of their time. They don't leave this area unless they're sent to solitary confinement."
As you looked through the glass, you saw two men sitting next to each other against the wall, and above them on the second floor were two women talking.
"The two men on the bottom are Timothy Wright and Brian Thomas. You won't be meeting them for a while, but they're on your roster."
"How bad are they?"
"Depends on who you're asking."
"And above them is Jane Elizabeth Arkensaw and Natalie Outlette. Jane is definitely one of the most well behaved inmates we have here, hell, she shouldn't even be here..."
The woman continued to explain the operations and how things functioned in the Prison.
"Inmates eat breakfast at 4AM, and they don't eat again until 11:30 for lunch. After breakfast, they have freetime to do whatever they please, they don't get jobs or specialties like the other inmates. We tend to leave them to their devices under close observation."
You took a look into the inmate quarters and noticed that the man with short black hair was staring directly at you. He held a blank expression as he stared through your soul. You felt your blood run cold as he stared you down with his cold, emotionless eyes. You saw the man next to him look at him with amusement before telling him something, which cause the man to take his eyes off you and look at the other man with rage. You watched as the man yelled at him, but due to the noise canceling effects the room you were in had, you only saw the movements and gestures, no actual words.
"Ma'am, are you sure they can't see us?" You asked as you slowly turned your head away from the scene.
"Positive. Why must you ask?" The woman asked as she walked towards a door that read Officer Sarah Mandel.
"The man with the sideburns was just staring at me," You said, pointing to the man.
"Oh...Wright. he does that from time to time, ignore it."
"Uhhh, ok," You responded as you slowly turned your head away from the man named Wright.
"What time is it?" The woman asked.
"6:30 PM, why?"
"In 15 minutes you'll be interviewing Jeffery Woods," The woman said as she began to walk into a room.
When you were about to follow her, she walked back out with a piece of paper in her hands. She then rubbed her eyed tiredly before handing you the paper with a yawn.
"You ok, ma'am?"
"Yeah...Just tired, I've been working 18 hours and I don't go home till 10. Now, ask Jeff the questions on this paper, don't go off script. If he tries, redirect him, don’t give him a chance to get off topic. Now, he says some pretty perverted and weird things, ignore it and you'll be fine. An officer will be waiting outside the door, and there's a button under the table to notify him to come in. There will also be another officer with you in the room since this is your first time. Got all that?"
"Yep! So uh, where the place I'll be interviewing him?"
"Follow."
You and the woman then walked deeper into the area you in, going past the inmates quarters and going through a door that read 'Interigation Roon, Level 4 and up.'
As the two of you walked, you decided to read some of the questions on the paper. Most of the questions were ones you've seen at the Academy. Stuff like, 'Why did you do what you did?' And 'Did you know your victims?' And so on and so forth. Some of the questions were more detailed though. One in particular asked 'At the scene of one of your crimes, we found a dog next to a door that was locked. When we tried going through the door, it killed two of our best officers. What was behind that door, and who was that dog?'
You remember when you were younger, this image of a dog with a crazed smile was circling around. Some said it was cursed, others said it was some urban legend. But, you picture the image in your head, and you look down at Jeffrey's wanted photo, you couldn't feel like that was connected to him somehow.
"Alright, you'll be in room 899 for all of your interviews, keep that in mind. Now, they'll be here in 5 minutes with Jeffery, you ready?"
"Yeah, I think so," You said as your hands and legs shook with nervousness.
The woman let out a light chuckle before putting her hand on your shoulder with a smile.
"You're gonna be ok, kid. It's you first day, and you're already working with some dangerous people, but it comes with the job. You'll get it no time."
"Thanks, I appreciate it," You said as you took a deep breath and walked into the room.
The room was small with bright lights, two cameras on each side of the room, clean white walls, and a table with a chair on each side in the middle.
You sat down on the chair facing the door and pulled at your uniform to fix any wrinkles or badges that were out of place. You opened the folder and took out Jeffery's paper before placing the folder under your chair.
"It's ok, Y/N. He isn't going to do anything," You said to yourself as you looked down at the papers.
Suddenly, you began to hear footsteps and the sound of chains walking towards you.
And then, the door opened, and you were greeted with a sight that gave you chills.
A man, so tall that could barely fit through the doorway. His hair was long and greasy, covering his face as he looked down lifeless. He was pretty skinny too, that inmate uniform he wore being quite baggy on him. Covering him were chains, his hands were cuff and his ankles were chains together as well. You couldn't see his face, but you could see his eyes. His eyes were bloodshot and wide, staring at you with insanity and rage.
You did your best to keep your stone cold expression, but you couldn't hide the deed of sweat that rolled down your brow as he got closer to you.
The two officers that brought him forced him down of the seat before tying him to the chair tightly.
"That's a bit much, don't you think?" Jeffery said, turning his head to look at the male officer. He had a massive grin on his face as he asked the question in a joking manner.
"No," The male officer said coldly before walking in the corner.
The female officer looked at you with a nod before walking out and closing the door behind her.
Now, in the first semester of your second year at the Academy, it was mostly focused on interagation and the art of the mind. You were told to remain calm and composed at all times, but don't be too serious as well.
Joseph said people are less likely to comfortable and truthful when you make yourself appear as stone cold serious or far too casual. He said to find a balance, make them feel comfortable, maybe joke once or twice, but make them aware that this is serious.
"So, how are you doing, Jeffery?"
Jeff then shot up and slowly turned his head to look at you. His face was neutral, but the nasty scarred smile on his face did give you goosebumps.
"Jeffery... I haven't been called that in a while."
"What are you called then?"
"Jeff."
"Well, Jeff, how are you doing?"
"Shitty. I've been stuck in solitary all fucking month!"
"I'm sorry to hear that."
When you going the ask why, you remembered that the woman told you not to go off script. You took a glance at the officer in the corner before peeping down at the paper.
"So, Jeff, you've been charged with a books worth of crimes, and you've been on death row since December 25, 2014. We've had you in this place for a few years now, but you still haven't told us why you did it."
Jeff stared at you before scoffing and rolling his eyes.
"Same old question! How many times do I have to tell you fucking people. It was fun! Stalked a few people, kidnapped some, fucked the pretty ones, and at the end of the day all of them would be fucking dead," Jeff said with a grin, his eyes slowly starting to move down to your tits.
"Hey! Eyes up here," You demanded, snapping your fingers to get his attention to your face. "I'm here for answers, Jeff, not to be your eye candy."
"Awwww," Jeff moaned, giving you a pout.
"So..." You said, looking through his file. Jeff looked at you boredly as he yawned and leaned back into his chair. In the corner of your eye, you saw the police officer in the corner give Jeff a glare.
"A girl...oh. A girl went missing right before your arrest, her name was Abbie Grace, 21 year old college student. We haven't found her since and evidence is pointing towards you. Does the name ring any bells?"
"Abbie...? Nope! Not at all," Jeff answered, a strange optimistic tone laying in his voice.
After those words left his mouth, you pulled out a picture of Abbie. She had long pink and blue hair with pale skin and bright blue eyes. Her face was covered in freckles and her eyes had a shine to them. She seemed friendly and kind, her bright smile showing off her dimples and crooked teeth.
"Does she look familiar?"
Jeff leaned forward and looked at the photo. He paused for a few moments before realization hit him.
"Oh! Candy Head."
"So you do recognize her?"
"Yeah."
"What happened to her?"
"Heh, I don't know. I was told to kidnap her, not kill her."
The word told caught your attention immediately, and it seemed to catch the other officer's attention too. Nothing in his file said anything about a boss, it was said that he worked alone, a solo act.
"Told? By who?"
"Eh, I don't feel like telling."
"Jeff."
"What? Suck my dick first and maybe I'd tell you."
"You're not getting anything out of him, rookie," The other officer said, letting out a sigh.
"Well, what'd you do with her while she was with you?"
"Hmmm, well, She was definitely an ugly crier. She would always cry and cry, the bitch even tried to kill me with a butter knife," Jeff answered before laughing at the girl's attempts to escape.
"Hm. Do you remember you remember the last thing you did to her?"
"She did have a pretty face, and a fat ass," Jeff said before his eyes glazed over with lust as he reminisced. An errie smile continued to grow on his face as he contiued his thought. "She was the whole package, and I wasn't going to ler a girl like that go out easy."
You knew what he meant, his file didn't lie one bit, the guy was a fucking sadist.
"After fucking the bitches brains out, I gave the her to Toby."
"...Toby? Is he your partner?"
"Partner? You're funny! As if I'd work with that retard. if you wanna know what happened to her, ask him."
"You are aware that makes you an accomplice?"
"Like I care."
"And you do know that can make your stay here a lot longer, post poning your death sentence to look into your case further."
"If looking at your body means staying here, I'll stay."
"Well, I guess that's where our talk ends for today."
You then stood up and walked out of the room, leaving the officer with Jeff. As you walked off, Jeff stared at your ass, feeling a grin creep onto his face before the officer pulled him out from his seat.
As you walked out, you saw the lady from earlier waiting for you, drinking a red bull as she leaned against the wall.
"How'd it go?"
"Better than I thought... But he's, weird."
"Weird as in perverted? Yeah, we know. What'd he tell?"
"Well, I asked him about Abbie Grace, the 21 year old, and apparently he didn't kill her."
"Really? What did he do?"
"Well... He kidnapped her, raped her, not sure how many times though, and then gave her to a guy named Toby."
"Has to be our Toby," The woman mumbled before taking another sip of her red bull. "Did you ask him anything else?"
"No, just getting those answers were difficult."
"Pity."
RING!
"ALL PERSONNEL, PLEASE REPORT TO THE CAFETERIA FOR DINNER!"
"Welp that's us, let me tell you how this is gonna go," The woman said as she pushed herself off the wall and began to walk.
"The most dangerous and chaotic parts of the day is Lunch, Breakfast, and Dinner. All the pastas normally stick to their groups or by themselves, but during these parts of the day they're all trapped together like sardines. Fights breakout, stealing, and just too much shit goes on. When you're assigned your spot, stay there. If any of them try to get a reaction out of you or try to bother you, don't react. They're not your average criminals, and since they've never seen you before, that's definitely gonna happen today. Stand strong, stay quiet, and observe. Cops like us are merely meang to supervise them, not stop them, that's what Security is for."
"So, is that all I gotta worry about mainly?"
"For right now, yes. And don't leave the cafeteria until lunch is over. Some of them like to sneak out, and let's just say cops who wondered off, weren't found the same way they left. May that be mentally, or physically."
"Oh... So, stay in post, stay quiet, and don't leave."
"Yep, you pick up fast."
"Thank you, Officer...?"
"Mandel. I guess I never told you name, my apologies," Officer Mandel said before taking a another sip of her red bull, "Its been a long day."
‐---------‐-------------------------------------------------------
The moment the two of you walked into the cafeteria, you were met with a loud wave of noise.
"Shit, is it always this loud?" You asked Officer Mandel, who nodded her head in response.
The two of you then walked over to one of the security guards.
"Jesus! You look like awful, Sarah," The guard said with concern.
"I know right. Newbie needs their post."
"Oh, you see that guy over there," The guard said, pointing to a guy with stitches in the corners of his mouth.
"Yeah."
"You're posted in the front of the door behind him."
Looking at the man closer, your eyes widened with realization.
"Is that-"
"Liu Woods? Yeah, good luck," The guard responded before Officer Mandel slapped the back of his head.
"He's not that bad, don't listen to him."
Nodding in response, you took a deep breath as you walked towards the door.
All the inmates were divided into their respective groups. The two men you saw from earlier were sitting at their own table, but a man with part of his cheek removed was sitting with them as well, arguing with the one known as Tim.
"For the hundredth time, it's not my fault the bitch ran away!"
"You sure? Cause last time I checked, she was you last."
"*FUCK YOU* Whatever, Tim. The bitch most likely dead anyway."
You made sure to note that in your head for later. Tobias Erin Rogers, he was listed on your roster, and based on Jeff's info, you'll be meeting him very soon.
When you passed Liu to get to the door, you felt the atmosphere shift. It hit you like a truck, your heart raced as you took at glance at him.
His skin was so pale that he could've been considered sick. Since Jeff was paler than him, you just though it was family trait. But, the stitches on his face and hands made you think otherwise. In his file, it did mention that Jeff tried to kill him. An injury from the incident was mostly likely the cause for his apperance, but you kept your theories to yourself.
Much to you surprise, dinner went by pretty smoothly. But, you couldn't help but grow curious on why so many guards were coming in and out of the cafeteria. You knew better than to let your curiosity take over, but through dinner it became harder to fight.
"Something bothering you?"
Flinching at the voice, you looked down towards Liu, he was looking at you with a tilted head.
"What? Of course not."
"You sure? I ain't telling nobody," Liu persisted as he fully turned his body towards you.
You knew better than to respond, much to Liu's dissapointment.
"You interviewed my brother eariler, right?"
"Who's asking?'' You asked saracastically as you avoided eye contact.
"Me, who else?" Liu answered bluntly, a slight bit of attitude hidden in his tone.
"I don't know."
There was a moment of silence as Liu followed your eyes, realizing that you were looking at the cafeteria doors.
"The doors, huh?" Liu whispered to himself as a grin grew on his face. "You know, past those cafeteria doors is Solitary."
"Ok, why would I care?"
"Why would I care," Liu mocked.
"Jesus, just like his brother..." You thought as you rolled your eyes in annoyance.
"Hey, can you do me a favor?"
"No."
"It might benefit you," Liu said in teasing manner.
You didn't say a word, but you did raise an eyebrow with interest.
"Jeff stole shit from my cell before he got sent to solitary. You convince him to give me my shit back, and I tell you what I know about Candy Head."
"Candy Head?" You asked confused before realization hit you. "You have something to do with Abbie Grace's case?"
"Nah uh, uh, uh, get me my stuff back first," Liu answered bluntly, sending you a glare.
Something wasn't adding up. Jeff told you that he gave Abbie to Toby, but how did Liu fit into any of this? Maybe her disappearance isn't as cut and dry as you thought.
Looking around, you let out a sigh.
"I'll think about it."
Liu nodded his head in understanding before turning back around.
"Wait. How'd you know I'm on her case?"
"Stuff. First."
Letting out a groan, you lightly flinched as a loud ring echoed across the room.
"DINNER'S OVER! BACK TO YOUR CELLS!"
As the inmates got rallied up, Officer Mandel walked up next to you.
"So, how'd it go?"
"I don't know what that file said, but Liu is anything but charming. It was like I was dealing with Jeff all over again, just without the pervsion."
"You sure it was Liu?"
"Hm? What you mean?"
"You'll see. Now, the inmates are getting brought back to their cells, but our job isn't over just yet," Mandel said before beckoning you to follow her. "You'll be interviewing Toby in an hour or two, until then, I need you to look over the testimonals of their previous victims who survived."
"Their?"
"You said Jeff didn't kill her, right?"
"Right."
"So, there's the chance that Toby did. Toby didn't work alone, he worked with those two guys we saw earlier. I want you to get familar with their methods, and I want you to understand this very clearly," Mandel said before stopping in her tracks. "These people are dangerous, they will hurt you if given the chance. After today, you're not gonna have another officer in the room with you. I best not find out that you got hurt because you wanted to be fucking stupid."
Placing a hand on your shoulder, Mandel looked at you with a look you couldn't decscribe. "You're young, and you got so many years ahead of you, so listen to my advice. Listen to the files, and don't ever, I mean ever, go into solitary. I saw you looking at it earlier so I'm shutting the idea down now."
"Yes, Ma'am."
"Wonderful. Now, while you were interviewing Jeff, I decided to hand pick the evidence and testimonials that mostly involved Toby. You're not going to meet Brian and Tim for a while, so don't worry about them."
Nodding your head, you looked at the door labeled "Intern 1."
"Oh, and heads up. The voice recordings are really dark, so, good luck," Mandel whispered to you before patting your back. "I'll get you when Toby's ready."
"Ok."
As Mandel left you alone, you took a deep breath as you opened the door.
The room was bright and clean, a decently sized desk placed in front of you with a computer on it, but it was also covered in various files. In the corner was an old box TV with a VHS and CD player, with a chair placed in front of it.
The room wasn't bad by any means, but it gave you an odd vibe.
Taking a seat at the desk, you decided to look at the different files.
Most of them were detailed descriptions of various crimes scenes related to Toby or the proxies in general, but under all the files was a VHS labeled "Elizabeth Todd's Testimony."
Since you didn't want to spend lord knows how long reading papers, you stood up from your seat and made your way to the TV, placing the VHS into the player before taking a seat infront of the TV. The TV took a while to process the cassete, but once it did, a woman appeared on the screen, the date April 26th, 2008 resting in the top right hand corner.
The girl looked about 19, dark skinned with big curls rounding around her face, fairly skinny but you weren't exactly sure due to her hoodie covering most of her frame, but the thing that you took notice of the most was her eyes. They lacked any sort of life, giving you an uneasy feel as she stared past the camera, implying that someone was in front of her.
"Your testimony will be recorded and kept for evidence, would you like to remain anonymous? If not, please state your name," A light voice said behind the camera.
Pausing for a few moments, the girl looked down to her hands before looking back up to the officer infront of her.
"My name is Elizabeth Todd," The girl started, her voice meek and low as she spoke.
"Would you mind telling us what happened on the day of the incident?"
"...It was my freshman year of college. I didn't know anyone, but I made some friends within the first semester."
Leaning back into your chair, you took notice of Elizabeth's body language. She fidgeted with her hands as she spoke, and always kept her gaze down, rarely looking up at the officers. She appeared nervous. You decided to keep note of that as she continued to speak.
"When spring break came around, me, Lilian, Austin, and Kevin decided to take a camping trip in tye woods near our campus. We took a bunch during the fall so we were pretty familiar with the area. But, when it came to us planning the trip, I always felt like something was going to go wrong..."
Elizabeth's voice cracked as she spoke, causing her to swallow her spit as she shook her hands, trying to keep her composure.
"Nobody listened though, saying I was paranoid even though we went there countless times before. So, we went anyway. Kev and Lilian were setting up a fire while me and Austin were setting up tents. Austin and I were dating at the time, so when Lilian and Kev weren't looking, we wondered off."
Snapping her fingers, Elizabeth continued.
"Austin and I were making out against a tree not too far from our campsite, fucking in the woods was on our spring break bucket list after all. But, before we could do anything I felt my heart drop. You know that feeling when you know something is wrong but you just don't know what?"
"Yes, I've felt it countless times while on patrols," The officer responded, which helped in calming Elizabeth's nerves.
"Well, I got that feeling. We stopped and looked around but nothing was there. But, it was really quiet, no crickets, no owls, just silence..."
Elizabeth paused, pulling at her sleeves as spoke, her eyes starting to water. "It all happened so fast..."
"It's ok, your words will help us in bring your friends justice," The officer said softly, placing a hand on Elizabeth's.
"Next thing I knew I was running. Austi's blood was all over me, but I don't remember what happened. Once I got back to the campsite, Kev and Lilian were roasting marshmallows at the fire..."
----------------------------------------------------------------
"Done fucking, yet?" Lilian teased as she placed her marshmallow on her cracker, turning around with a cheeky grin.
But, that grin quickly fell as her eyes fell on Elizabeth, wearing only a T shirt as blood stained her body.
"What happened...?" Kevin asked, eyes wide.
"He's gone...," Elizabeth responded, looking down at her blood stained hands before looking back up at the two. "We gotta leave. Now."
Without asking anymore questions, Kevin grabbed the keys to the car as Lilian helped Elizabeth stand.
"Are you hurt?" Lilian asked as she walked with Elizabeth.
"He's gone, Lily...He's gone."
"I know, I know."
"Lily, call the cops, tell them what's happening!" Kevin said as he led the group, flashing his flashlight at any sudden noise.
"Once we get to the car," Lily said.
But, Lilian and Elizabeth watched as Kevin's flashlight fell to the floor, being followed with the sound of a loud thump.
Lying infront of them was Kevin's body, a hatchet cutting through the middle of his head as he stared at the two.
"No no no no no no no," Lilian mumbled as she gripped on Elizabeth, backing up slowly as she did.
"BULLSEYE!" A cheerful voice yelled.
Stepping out from the bushes, a man with bright orange goggles appeared in the light, taking the hatchet out of Kevin's skull as he admired his work.
"Big guy aren't *KOO KOO* ya? No *SUCKY* wonder you were so easy to hit," The man stuttered out, his head twitching from side to side as he joked, the loud cracking of his neck echoing throughout the forest.
Frozen in shock, Elizabeth looked towards Lilian, who was just as frozen as she was.
"Damn... You two sure *WOW* are pretty," The man spoke, turning his attention towards the two girls. "I've never *SHOO* had a girlfriend before," The man continued before his gaze darkened, his body language becoming more hostile as he took out his other hatchet. "Mind giving me a chance?~"
Without wasting a moment, Lilian grabbed Elizabeth's hand before running off, causing the man to chase after them.
"We gonna split up," Lilian said.
"Huh?"
"It's better if at least one of us survives. You go left, I go right. We're going to have to get Kev's keys and phone."
"No, no please."
"It's fine, if I don't come back, leave without me. Now go!"
Lilian quickly ran to the right, jumping over a few bushes in the process. Hesitating, Elizabeth stumbled over a few branches as she ran the left, separating the two.
"Jeez, are they *KOO KOO* really that stupid?" Toby mumbled, tapping his chin with his hatchet as he looked both ways. "Tits or thighs...tits or thighs... Tits," Toby declared, looking to the right.
Running through the woods, Elizabeth saw the light from Kevin's flashlight in the distance. Picking up speed, Elizabeth felt her heart drop as Lilian's screams echoed throughout the woods, causing bird to fly up from their nest as it echoed.
"Lily," Elizabeth mumbled, staring in the direction of where Lily ran. "No. Get the keys, get the keys."
Standing over Kevin's body, Elizabeth felt nausea fill up her body as she examined his features. His once bright brown eyes now laid dull, staring at Elizabeth as his mouth laid open. Searching his pockets, Elizabeth felt a chill go down her spine as she caught a feel of his skin, painfully cold.
"I'm sorry Kev, I'm sorry," Elizabeth repeated as she pulled Kevin's keys and phone from his pocket. "I'm so sorry."
Standing up, Elizabeth decided not to take the flashlight, not wanting to risk being seen by the man who was chasing them.
Saying one last goodbye to her friend, Elizabeth ran in the direction of where their car was parked. But, as she ran, she could hear the sound of twigs being snapped.
The sounds came in short but consistent burst. He was following her, mocking her.
"I can see you~" Toby teased, letting out a chuckle as he watched Elizabeth stop for a moment.
Brian would always scold Toby for wasting time on victims, saying that too much time on one could lead to another escaping. But, Toby never listened. Having been a proxy for only a few months, the bosses were starting to grow quite fond of him, much to Tim's dismay.
But, this task was different. This was his first solo mission, and a surprisingly easy one too. Stalk the campers, kill them, dispose of their bodies, and go back to the cabin, easy, right? Well, maybe he should've listened to Brian's advice.
The moment Toby spoke, Elizabeth booked it, running much faster than she normally did.
"Fuck, *LOOKIE* she's fast,"Toby mumbled, chasing after her.
Reaching the car Elizabeth shakily pulled the keys out from her pocket, attempting to open the car door as Toby gained on her.
"Please-please-please, God please!" Elizabeth begged.
As the door opened, Elizabeth quickly jumped in, slamming the key into the holder as the car started up.
But, just before she could slam on the gas, a hatchet was flown as her window, causing glass to shatter on her. Luckily, the hatchet didn't touch her, her dodging just in time for it to land on the seat next to her.
Looking up in horror, Elizabeth watched as Toby appeared from the woods, out of breath as he came into frame. But, in his hand was Lilian, blood dripping from her body as Toby held her by her hair.
"Lilian...," Elizabeth mumbled.
Toby then tilted his head as he lifted Lilian's arm, waving it side to side with a sadistic grin.
She wasn't dead, not yet at least. Her chest was rising and falling slowly as Toby forced her to wave. But, blood was covering her face and neck, coming from the top of her head where Toby banged the handle of his hatchet into.
Staring at the two, Elizabeth came back to reality as quickly as she fazed out of it, slamming on the gas.
As she drove, in the corner of her eye she saw a piece of paper tied to the hatchet. Taking a look, she felt her blood run cold.
"If you survive, don't tell anyone what you saw. You'll see what happens if you :)"
She should tell the police? Lilian was still alive when she left, sure there was blood all over her, but maybe if she called the cops she could make it. Or was it too late?
Looking at Kev's phone, Elizabeth made her choice.
"911, what's your emergency?"
---------------------------------------------------------------------
"Elizabeth? Elizabeth? Fuck, fuck," The officer said as Elizabeth's head slammed into the table, not responding for five minutes before her head fell.
"JOHN, GET A MEDIC!"
The interview stopped there, but the tape continued.
"Elizabeth experienced a seizure during her interview, dying shortly after. But, evidence at the crime scene helped is in determining a series of events," You read as words appeared on the TV. "The bodies of Kevin Howard and Austin Brown were found. Kevin was found with a gash in his head while Austin was found with his head cut clean off. Lilian Smith's body has yet to be found at the time of this recording."
Then, the video finished.
The interview didn't tell you much about Toby's personality, but it did give you a glimce into his cruelty. You decided to use this case as a baseline for the other files you would be looking into, wanting to find common patterns in his crimes and how he picked his victims.
Standing up, you took a deep breath, mentally preparing yourself for the deep dive you were about the take.
After an hour and thirty minutes, you were able to figure out common themes in Toby's crimes, and in two, you were able to get a solid idea on his behavior and personality.
You filled up three pages in your notebook with notes on Toby.
It seems that the proxies in general were very diverse in their victims, some of them being normal civilians while others could be big shot politicians or businesses owners. Toby in particular seemed to mostly target people in their early to late 20s, and most of them were normal civilians or low profiled criminals.
When it came to his behavior, a common theme was that many of Toby's male victims had much more brutal deaths than the women. Women's bodies were often found with a hatchet in the back of the head, or a gash in the side, but their deaths were often simple and quick. The men on the other hand were always found in almost unrecognizable ways. One body was found with his chest completely torn open, his intestines wrapped around his throat and blood smothered all over his face, a truly horrifying site.
The deaths in which his victims would have slowly started to give you ideas. It seems that Toby has some sort of vendetta against men, or more specifically, men with blonde hair. Men with blonde hair were often the ones found in unrecognizable ways. This was something that you would definitely do more digging on and try to get an answer when you're interviewing Toby. Now, you wouldn't say Toby has a soft spot for women, that clearly wasn't the case the more you looked into his behavior, but he did appear to be a lot more merciful and playful when it came to their deaths. Well, maybe not all of them.
You recall that in Toby's file that he would be more complient with people he found hot. Well, in a few cases, there had been women found days or even weeks after incidents. All of which were found dead and in horrible condition, implying that they were kept with him for a while. Maybe that was the case with Lilian.
Now, when it comes to Toby's personality, it's obvious he's mentally unstable. And his mood swings seem to be very self destructive. Often thrown into periods of mental exhaustion where he becomes a blank slate, too mentally out of it to bother with reality.
Despite being in his late 20's, it's been reported that he can be surprisingly teen like when it comes to his interest and some of his behaviors. In past interviews, he's expressed his love for sappy rom coms, and interest often seen in teenagers. It was something that you took interest in, and you decided to figure out if it was just how he is, or if there was a deeper issue at play here.
"Y/N," Mandel said as she opened the door, cutting you out of your train of thought.
"Yes Ma'am?" You responded, looking up from your notes.
"Toby's ready."
Nodding your head, you stood up from your seat and followed Mandel as she led you to the interview room.
"Figure anything out?" Mandel asked.
"A lot, actually. Figured out common patterns in crimes, and some stuff I would like ask hin about."
"Like what?"
"He seems to be much more aggressive men, blonde men to be more specific."
"Hmmm."
"May I ask you something?"
"Ask away," Mandel responded, opening another can of red bull.
"Do you know what happened to Lilian Smith?"
Mandel froze in place, causing you stop with her.
"Ma'am?" You said shakily, looking at Mandel with worry.
"I was on that case... Remember it well..."
"What happen?"
"A week after Elizabeth died, we found her body in a cabin nine miles into the forest... Her head was split in two, going into her neck," Mandel said, her voice shaking as she took another sip of her red bull. "She's the reason why we're trying to charge Toby with sexual assault, the way she was found..."
"Oh... I'm sorry for bringing it up, Ma'am..."
"No, no. It's alright, it's been nearly a decade. If we can officially charge him with it, the judge will be more willing to put him on death row."
Sighing in relief, you watched as Mandel stood up straight and continued to walk.
"I want to remind you, these guys are monsters. Be careful with Toby, he's a lot more unpredictable than Jeff. He might meek today, but tomorrow he could be wild."
"Advice taken."
"Anything else you figure out?"
"He doesn't seem to have a specific preference for victims, only a preference in death styles. I do find his treatment of women kind of interesting though."
"Why you say that?"
"Oftenly, his killings with them tend be more merciful, but, there's multiple times where they've been on the more gruesome side of things. You think I should ask him about it."
"I don't see why not, but don't ask him up front, a lot of the inmates are stubborn and aren't going to give you any favors."
Next thing you knew, you were in the hallway meant for interrogations. You weren't sure why, but the vibe was completely different than last time you were in the area.
"Room 111 is Toby's. Remember what I told you."
"Yes ma'am."
"Oh, also. After Toby, you're gonna be on your own for the rest of your shift. I'll check up on your every now and again, but that's about it."
"What? What am I supposed to do?"
"Look into your other inmates cases. You still Tim, Brian, Ben, Jeff, and Liu to look into. If you stay in your office, you'll be fine."
"...Ok."
Nodding your head, Mandel turned the corner, leaving you alone in the silent hallway.
"111...111...there."
Opening the door, the room was no different than the last one you were in. Table in the middle, a chair on each side, bright lights, nothing new. One thing you did notice was that this part of the prison didn't have any cameras, or computers. You thought it was just the hallways, but it didn't make sense on why they wouldn't be present in an interrogation room.
Taking a seat, you pull out your notebook, looking over the various notes you made. You considered asking questions, but then you remembered what Mandel said.
"Ask them the questions on the paper, nothing else."
You couldn't deny the sketchiness of it all. Yes, you understood why they'd be so strict with who they let in and what they'd ask, they are harboring America's most notorious serial killers after all, but some of the questions didn't even matter. Trying to gain trust is one thing, but asking complete bullshit is something completely different.
"Why did you do it? Stubborn my ass, he would never answer that," You mumbled, reading each question on the paper. "What do you like to do? What does that have to do with anything?"
But, you quickly fell silent as the sound of footsteps echoes in the hallways.
CLICK! CRACK!
The sound of various cracks and clicks could be heard. The cracking of bones made your neck ich, and the sounds of the clicks caused you to grind your teeth together. It didn't help that the sound chains could be heard as well, moving side to side with every click and crack.
Taking a deep breath, your back straightened as the door opened.
Stabding in the door was three figures, two police officers holding onto the man in the middle. The man held a bored expression, his head angled downward as he looked around with his eyes. Much to your suprise, he was much shorter than you thought, maybe around 5'5, 5'6 if you wanted to push it. However, you couldn't help but stare at the injury on his left cheek. Pieces of skin were ripped out, showing his gums and teeth to the world. Not to be rude, but you were kind of glad he wore a muzzle like mask.
When his gaze met up to yours, the two of you made eye contact for a few seconds. Within those seconds, you saw his eyes widen, his eyes softening for just a moment before switching back.
"Cute...," He whispered, tilting his head to the side as a grin slowly formed on his face.
"Quiet," One of the guards said as they sat Toby down, bringing his arms up in order to chain them to the table.
"I wasn't *WOWIE* talking to you," Toby snapped back, rolling his eyes.
"Thank you, I got it from here," You said, earning a nod from the officers as one of them left the room, the other one quickly prompting themselves into the corner. "Hello Toby, I'm sure you know why I'm speaking with you today."
"*CLICK* Yeah."
"So, how have you been feeling recently?"
"Terrible!" Toby exclaimed, an irrated look on his face as he mumbled under his breath.
"Why is that?"
"Hmmm, let me *KOO KOO* think. Oh, maybe because I'm fucking here! Would you be happy and shit if you got caught?"
"I'm not exactly sure."
"Liar."
"I'm no liar, Toby. Now, may I be able to ask you a few questions about your cases?"
"Does it matter?"
"...Uh."
You quickly turned your head to the officer in the corner, who nodded their head in response.
"Uh yes! Yes, it does matter."
"...Fine."
"So. Before you were arrested, did you ever know someone named Abbie Grace?"
"Abbie Grace... Colored hair?"
"Yes."
"Yeah, why?"
"We were informed that you were involved with her disappearance."
"...Snitch. *FUCK* He owes me big time," Toby groaned, leaning back into his chair as he looked up at the ceiling.
"Hey, focus. Can you tell me what happened to her?"
"What if I don't wanna?"
"It's not up for negotiation."
"Aw, look at you toughening up."
"He isn't gonna tell me anything, isn't he?" You thought, doing your best to hide your irration. "Well, Toby. If you don't tell us anything, we can't charge you, but, if, or when, we get evidence on you, you're punishment will be more severe."
As you talked, you noticed a shift in Toby's mood.
"And I'm talking death row, Toby. Death. Row."
"I could get death row right now if I felt like it. Do you honestly think these chains can stop me from bashing your head in? Or from taking his gun and shooting you in that pretty head of yours?"
That was the first time he didn't stutter on a single word. No sudden words, no sudden tics, clear cut.
"You're alive because I'm letting you live," Toby said coldly, his eyes lacking any emotion as he stared into your soul. "Isn't that fun!" Toby suddenly cheered, leaning over as he stared at you wide eyes, a strange amount of joy written on his face.
"...I don't think we have the same definition of fun."
"You're so boring..."
"OK. How about this then."
"Hm?"
"Talk about yourself. What do look for when choosing your victims? How do you treat your weapons? Go crazy."
Both Toby and the officer looked at you in suprise.
"Seriously?"
"Seriously."
"Uh... What about *FLOWER* me exactly?"
"What did you like to do when you were a kid?"
"...I was in and *CRACK* out of hospitals a lot... Whenever I was out, I would *LOOKIE LOOKIE* go play in the woods with my sister," Toby said. "I hated being home..."
There were two things you took note of. The fact that Toby has a sister, and that he didn't like being home.
"You have a sister?"
"Had."
"Oh... What was she like?"
"She was the best. *BIRDIE* She'd always take care of me, stop kids from picking *CLICK* on me...and always made sure I was ok."
"She seemed nice."
"The nicest," Toby said, his eyes softening as he dazed off. "What else?"
"How do see this...hobby of yours?"
"It's a job, not a hobby."
"Hm. What do you hate most about it?"
"My *CLICK* co-workers."
"Why's that?"
"Tim is always yelling at me about something. *COOKIE* You fucked up on this mission! You never shut up! Mehmehmehemehmeh! And *SHOOT* Brian is just there! Sometimes he gets on me too, and other times he's on Tim! *TICK TOK* Like hello, pick a side!"
To be honest, you were surprised by Toby's words. Back at the Academy, Gibbons would always remind you that every criminal was human, so they would and behave as one. Even though you were considered very skilled, sometimes you forget this simple fact, that even the smartest or most dangerous of criminals, can crack.
The way Toby described them sounded like a worker talking shit about their boss in an office. Now you couldn't help but wonder how Brian and Tim would describe each other.
"That seems annoying."
"Finally someone gets it!" Toby exclaimed. But, after he spoke those words, you watched as he slowky looked at you, a faint blush forming on his face as he sent you a smile. "You know what, I like you."
You felt a chill go down your spine as you stared at him. Yes he called you cute, but the way he was looking at you, you couldn't help but feel concern.
"Um. OK, anyways... Did you have any favorites?"
"Favorites?"
"Yeah. Whenever you did your job, did you have a set preference that you could follow or no?"
"Hmmmm... I hate open spaces. *WOWIE* The noise, the people, the attention... *FUCK* I hate it."
"That explains the locations. Maybe I can figure out a pattern in Toby's preferences that can give me more clues to Abbie's case."
"I've always liked the woods, especially the campers. They're always to unaware. *CHICKEN* I once killed a guy who was half way through fucking *FUCK* his girlfriend, oh you *CAN'T *should've seen her face when I bashed his brains in!" Toby exclaimed before moving his up into the air and quickly slamming them down into the table, looking you dead in the eyes with a manic expression, "Just like that! She had your exact face!"
Least to say, you were dumbfounded. This guy was energetic, loud, and manic, the way he talked about his murders held so much life, so much passion, so much pride. The joy in his voice almost made you forget that you were talking to a criminal, and a manipulative one too. Despite his tone, you couldn't tell if he was being genuine, or at least what everything he was saying was true. If he fell for your trick, maybe he wasn't as aware as Mandel said.
"Oh...um. Is that all?"
"Maybe, maybe not. I don't wanna talk anymore."
"Wait, we're not done yet, we still have to talk about Abbie."
Toby sent you glare as his body tense up, his once playful energy gone.
"I know you don't care about death row, but, if Jeff gives us more evidence against you, the judge may consider lightening his sentence, while you, will get a more severe one. Maybe not death row, but still worse than Jeff's."
"So you want me to snitch."
"I wouldn't say that. I don't really care who tells me what happened to Abbie, I just wanna know."
Toby stared off to the side, assumingly in thought.
"Getting Candyhead was an order from the boss...She's *OW* the daughter of a powerful business *CRACK* owner that didn't keep his end of the deal with the boss. So, he had Jeff capture her, and then Jeff *POW* gave her to me to keep her *WOW* hostage."
"Wait... She's?" You mumbled. "Toby, is Abbie dead?"
"I don't know who told you she was."
"Wait. If she's alive, then we have to look over everything!"
You turned around the officer in the corner, who was just as surprised as you were.
"Miss, who's the head of the Abbie Grace case?"
"Detective Adrea Banklin."
"Can I meet with her after this?"
"I'll have to see if she's right now."
"Ok. Toby, our interview ends here."
"Ok~"
Standing up from your seat, you quickly made your way out of the room, keeping the door open as another officer ran in.
"Abbie's alive. But, how? She's been missing for over a year, how can she survive that long," You spoke to yourself as you rushed to your office.
As you opened the door to your office, you rushed to your desk, pulling out the Abbie Grace file from your cabinet.
"OK, ok. Calm down, Y/N, calm down. I understand it's your first real case, but stuff like this happens, so calm down," You said softly as you took some deep breaths. "OK, OK. I don't even have all the files on Abbie yet, so what should I do now..."
Then, it hit you.
"Liu."
Looking into the hallways, you, quickly made you way towards the inmates quarters, making sure to hide from other officers.
"Oh my God, what am I doing, what am I doing? Mandel is going to kill me, Gibbons is going to kill me. But, if it's solve the case, it's fine."
The inmate quarters were dark. You could see figures moving around, but since it lights out, the power in the quarters was out.
"How am I even going to get in?"
"Intern."
"AH!"
Turning around, the officer from earlier was behind you, giving you a suspicious look.
"Oh, you scared me."
"What are you doing over here?"
"...Just wanted to look around."
"...mhm. Well, Banklin is here at the moment, but she's preparing to go home. She's willing to speak now, but she won't wait long."
"That's great! Can you take me to her, please?"
The officer merely nodded her head before walking off.
"Liu can wait," You whispered to yourself before following after her.
"She's at the end of the hallway."
"OK, Thank you, officer..."
"Cherry, Officer Cherry."
"Y/N L/N."
"Pleasure. Also, if you're gonna meet with inmates, be more discrete."
"...How did you-"
"Been there, done that. Got caught up in a deal with Ben, was his bitch for months...You learn a thing or two," Officer Cherry said before walking off, leaving you alone.
You quickly made your way to Banklin's office. Opening the door, you saw Banklin placing various files into a bag.
Banklin was a tall woman with long brown hair, she seemed quite put together despite the stressful work environment.
"Detective Banklin?"
"Hm? Oh, you must be the intern."
"Yes, um. I've gotten some important information about the Abbie Grace case."
"From?"
"Toby, ma'am."
"Rogers? That man is a bipolar punk, I don't trust a word that leaves his mouth."
"I cam see why, but he implied that Abbie is still alive."
Banklin froze as she looked up at you, dropping the file in hand.
"Alive?"
"Yes, when he was talking about her, he talked in a present tense, and when I asked if she was actualky dead, Toby said that he never said she was."
"...It does make sense, we never did find her body, " Banklin said, rubbing her chin as she looked at the floor? "But, we've never had a case where one of their victims survived for more than a month."
"I don't know if you've noticed, but Toby has a pattern of keeping women for long periods of time before killing them."
"I've noticed, but in each of those cases, they didn't live past a month on average when we conducted their autopsy."
"So we're just going go let this info go?"
"I'm not saying that, I'm saying it's unreliable. Toby is far from stupid, and he tends to withhold info. He claims that he'll 'never be a snitch'."
"This claim can change this entire case, Miss. Banklin. Even if Toby is lying, what if he isn't? He sounded genuine when he spoke, and if she's alive out there, why should we just wait and see?"
"Listen here. This is your first time working with these Motherfuckers, you don't know anything about them. We asssigned this case to you because it's still on going. If you fuck this up and put this case in jeopardy, you're internship is done. I don't care what Joesph says."
All you could do is stare at Banklin, frozen in place as she closed her bag. You couldn't deny the fact that you often get way over your head, maybe being labeled the best officer in the academy made you a little over confident, but you didn't want to just throw this possibility out of the way. You didn't have a solid conclusion to Toby's true behavior, you still needed a bit more time on that bit, but until then, you were going to trust a few of his words.
"I'm sorry, ma'am."
"Don't bother. Abbie's case is the last case we have regarding Jeffery. Listen to Jeffery's words before Toby's, Jeffery rarely lies to us."
"Yes, ma'am."
"Good, now if you excuse me, I have a family to go home to," Banklin said, pushing past you so she opened the door. "Oh, also. Stick to what we assign you. We don't only want you to not fuck anything up, but it's also to protect you. Some of these cases are extremely classified and cannot get released to the public. I hope you understand."
"No, no I do."
"Good, see you in the morning."
Then, she was gone. You didn't even realize that you were holding your breath.
After meeting Banklin, you had come to the conclusion that no one was going to take your theories seriously. But, maybe there was someone who would.
Checking the hallways, you quickly dashed back to the inmate quarters. As you ran, you remembered a lesson that you had with Gibbons.
--------------------------
"Wrong!" Gibbons said for the hundredth time.
"What?! How is that wrong? The suspect obviously lied!" You yelled, pointing down at the paper, "Look, you see the inconsistencies in her statements."
"Y/N, in this field, not everything is simple."
"Yeah, I know that."
"So... Let's look over this paper one last time," Gibbons said as he sat in front of you. "The detective is pushing the suspect. When under stress, people will either do two things. They'll either confess, or make someone hear what they want to hear. With this in mind, what do you think is going on here?"
Looking down at the paper, you did your best to come up with an answer. Before being put under stress, the suspect's story was adding up, but, the moment the detective put them under pressure, their claims fell apart.
"They're telling the detective what they wanna hear?"
"Nope!"
"What?! What do you mean no?"
"Before the suspect was put under pressure, their story was adding up perfectly with the crime, but, the moment they were put under pressure, everything fell apart. This tells you two things. 1, they're not alone. They're most likely being used to take the fall, explaining the perfect line up. And 2, they indirectly confessed that they were innocent."
"You got that from this alone?"
"When you're in this job for as long as I have been, you pick up on things quickly. But, this, situations like this is what makes solving cases so difficult. When you do your internship, I want you to keep this in mind."
"Keep what in mind?"
"If someone is willing to tell you info about a case, take it, especially if it's from a snitch. A snitch is more willing to throw their friends under the bus for than own gain, making them more reliable than a direct source. "
"What if I can't talk to them?"
"Find a way. Roosevelt is Big, many places to hide. Be smart, not crazy."
"So you want me to break the law?"
"If you can make look legal, than yes."
"...You're the worst cop ever."
----------------------------------------------------
"Guess I'm the worse cop ever," You muttered, taking a deep breath as you stood infront of the door separating you from the inmates.
Looking to the right, you noticed a key pad with various numbers and letters.
"Shit... uh, how about, 1 2 3 4 5?"
"WRONG, 6 DIGIT CODE" was written in bold letters.
"Six digits?" You questioned, clenching your eyebrows togethers as you thought. "It can't be something simple, but what if it's so simple that people wouldn't even consider using it?"
Then, it came to you.
"Wait...Roosevelt Federal Prison, Creepypasta Ward? R F P C P W."
CLICK!
"Oh thank god."
Openng the door, you felt the atmosphere shift as you took a step into the room. Due to it being curfew, it was pitch black in the ward, leaving you to rely on the sounds of various voices.
"Shit, why did I do this, why did I do this? If I'm caught in here my internship is done. Can I get arrested for this? Probably. Well, too late now..."
You weren't exactly sure where to look for Liu. You weren't sure if he was on the bottom or top bit, or if he even had a roommate. You knew better than to turn on your flashlight, but, you started to feel the consequences of you actions. Maybe you should get you impulse under control.
Caught up in your thoughts, you failed to notice the figure creeping up behind you. However, you were able to hear the sound of faint breathing.
Whipping your head around, your gun was already in hand, but, the figure grabbed your wrist and covered your mouth, immobilized you.
Adjusting to the dark, you were able to make out a pair of green eyes. You weren't exactly sure if it was Liu, but, the feeling of stitches rubbing against your hand confirmed your suspicions.
"Liu?" You whispered, tightening your grip on your gun.
Liu remained silent as he stared at you.
"What do you want."
It wasn't a question, it was a demand.
"I'm accepting your deal. If I get whatever it is Jeff took from you, you'll tell me what you know about Abbie."
You couldn't see his face, but Liu looked down at you confused. What deal? He did recall slipping in and out of conciouness during lunch, sharing a few words with you before blanking out once more. But, his face quickly turned into annoyance as he imagined Sully interacting with you. The little bastard had to have made a deal with you.
"...Ok," Liu answered blankly, letting go of your wrist.
"What does Jeff have that you want me to get. "
Liu stayed silent for a few moments. What was it that Jeff took this time? One of his guns? Nah, he hates the noise. His bandages? Maybe. So, Liu only shrugged, much to your disappointment.
"If I get you whatever Jeff has, you'll tell me about Abbie, right?"
"...Yeah, yeah, sure."
"Promise?"
"I'm not saying it again," Liu said, sending you a glare.
You quickly shrieked back, nodding your head in understanding before sliding past him.
Feeling around for another key pad, you quickly entered the pass code. Squeezing through the door, you let out the biggest sigh of relief, but you quickly felt that relief be replaced with regret.
"I just made a deal with a fucking inmate," You said, your eyes wide in shock. "What kind of cop am I? Best at the Academy my ass..."
Little did you know, this was only the beginning. The start of your fall from grace.
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sluttywonwoo · 2 months
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instead of you [part forty] || l.mh
pairing: [best friend’s brother] lee minho x college!reader ft. han jisung
summary: you didn’t expect to spend your summer pretending to be your best friend’s girlfriend- then again, you didn’t expect to fall for your best friend’s brother, either. 
warnings: swearing, alcohol, mentions of sex (18+ ; mdni)
word count: 3.4k
a/n: revamped my tom holland series from my main blog ( @wazzupmrstark ) to try and motivate myself to finish it!!
That night, you turned Jisung’s words over in your mind over and over again. He was wrong, you were convinced. You would love him the same no matter what. No matter if he asked you to end things with Minho or not. You told him as much but he didn’t seem to believe you.
You went back to your room shortly after your talk. You had walked a little more, stopped for dessert at a little shaved ice stand on the beach, and then turned back. Jisung showered first, then you, but only after going over your agreement again. What you did with Minho was your business, but it had to be kept a secret. You were still Jisung’s girlfriend for the duration of the trip. It was mainly about his parents anyway. Jisung hadn’t explicitly told you why having a girlfriend was so important to him but after spending so much time with his family you could guess why. 
The next day, everyone piled into the cars and took the forty-minute drive back to Honolulu where you’d landed. Traffic was awful. You knew it took everything in Minho not to honk at the cars in front of him. You could see his knuckles turning white around the steering wheel from the back seat. 
“Oh, for fuck’s sake!” he cursed as another F-150 cut him off. 
You and Jisung traded looks but neither of you dared to say anything out loud. Even Felix’s grip on the armrest tightened when Minho swerved into the next lane to speed past the truck. 
“We’re not in a rush,” you reminded him. You wanted to touch his arm, reassure him somehow, but you couldn’t. 
“Yeah, Mom and Dad are way behind us now.”
“It’s not about speed,” he muttered. You weren’t really convinced about the speed thing. “It’s about the principle. These assholes shouldn’t be able to get away with driving like maniacs.”
“And what are you doing right now?” Jisung asked carefully. 
His twin brother turned around in his seat to give him a warning look but to everyone’s surprise, Minho took a deep breath and actually stepped on the brakes. He only slowed down a little bit, less than five mph, but it was better than nothing. 
“Sorry, I’m just so used to being late all the time.”
“We know,” Felix joked. 
“You should see my girlfriend drive,” your best friend joked. 
“Please, I passed my driver’s test on the first try,” you scoffed, making eye contact with Minho in the rearview mirror. 
He shook his head at you and mouthed low blow. Next to you, Jisung was also shaking his head. 
“Yeah, and I want to talk to whoever passed you because there’s no way they weren’t under the influence of something.”
“You’re in the fast lane to never getting a ride from me again,” you muttered. 
Jisung raised his hands in surrender. 
“Apologize,” Felix demanded, cutting in on your behalf.
“Yeah, apologize to me,” you agreed.
Jisung sighed and turned his full body toward you, taking both of your hands in his. “I’m sorry, my love. Please forgive me.”
You rolled your eyes. “Whatever.”
Jisung turned back toward his brothers. “I think I’m in the clear, guys.”
You smacked the back of his head. 
-
The first stop in Waikiki was the ABC store. There was one on almost every block so you stopped at the first one you saw to buy snacks and drinks for the beach. 
“How many musubis do you want?” you asked Minho, who was in charge of alcohol. 
“How many are you getting?” he asked back with a grin. 
He looked ridiculous with his arms full of beer, smirking at you like that. 
“Two,” you said flatly. 
“I’ll get two as well.”
You asked the others how many they wanted and raided the mini warmer for them before dumping them at the checkout counter with the rest of what the boys picked out. Dom paid and had the four of you take the bags back to the cars. 
The next step was to find parking somewhere on the streets that were within walking distance to the beach. You had to split up from Jisung’s parents to do so because there was no way you were going to be able to find two open parking spots on the same road. 
Once Minho parked, put money in the meter, and double-checked that the car was locked, the four of you slowly but surely made your way down to the shore where you met up with Nikki and Dom who had already picked out a spot in the sand. 
You had never seen a beach so crowded before. There were people everywhere. And all of the available space was being taken up by beach chairs and umbrellas that you had to rent from one of the several stands stationed behind them. Some of the different colored umbrellas even overlapped with each other in an apparent turf war. You could only imagine what conversations between the rival attendants must be like.
The beach was still beautiful, of course. You were in Hawai’i. Any beach here was going to be breathtaking. Waikiki Beach attracted so many tourists because of its beauty. 
“We rented four chairs,” Dom explained. “We figured not all of us would be sitting over here at once so we wouldn’t need six.”
Jisung nodded in understanding. 
“Are you going to surf?” you asked. 
“Probably,” he answered, looking over to his brothers. “I assume you won’t be?”
“I think I’ll sit this one out.” 
You turned your foot over to look at your toe. Even though all of the sea urchin spines had dissolved, the marks from the injury were still fading. You couldn’t see yourself back on a board any time soon. 
You were content to lay out in the sun with your book until Jisung wanted to wade in the water. 
The boys left to rent surfboards and their parents headed in the opposite direction for a walk along the beach, leaving you alone with all of the stuff. You joked to Nikki and Dom that you would protect it with your life but in reality, you would hand it over if someone so much as looked at you threateningly. 
You went to dig your book out from Jisung’s backpack but accidentally grabbed his instead. It was the one you had already read and annotated for him. Out of curiosity, you opened to where he left off to see what part he was at and were surprised to see his handwriting scrawled in the margins of the most recent page. 
He hadn’t stopped annotating it. Even after everything, even when he was simmering with anger, he was still writing you little notes and responding to the ones you had left. You weren’t supposed to read them before he was done so you quickly closed it back and shoved it into the bag again before retrieving the book that was actually yours. 
You took a brief look back up at the water to see how the boys were doing but there were so many surfers that it was hard to pick them out. 
“Which one’s yours?” 
The voice beside you startled you, making you jump a little before you realized someone had taken the seat next to you. 
You weren’t sure where she had come from but a girl who looked to be about your age was perched on one of the chairs the Hans had reserved. She was pretty, really pretty. Head full of curls and freckles dusted across her cheeks. The tangerine-colored bikini she was wearing looked amazing against her skin and you weren’t sure whether you were more jealous of her or attracted to her. 
“Huh?” you asked.
“Which one’s yours?” she repeated. 
“Oh.” You squinted at the waves, trying to zero in on Jisung. “Uh, blue wetsuit in the group of three off to the side.”
The girl followed your gaze and nodded when she found him. “They just got out there, right?”
“Yeah, we only got here a few minutes ago.” You noticed the camera dangling around and realized she must be out there for someone too. “Um, which one is yours?”
“Long hair, kind of far out. He’s in the big cluster of surfers in the swell.”
Her boyfriend was easy to spot. He was paddling in the direction of an upcoming wave.
“Do you guys come out here often?” you asked. 
She nodded, curls bouncing. “David’s lived in Kaneohe like all his life, which is like fifteen minutes from here so it’s super convenient. The North Shore isn’t as crowded but the waves are practically nonexistent in the summer,” she explained. “What about you guys?”
“We’re on vacation.” You were embarrassed to admit that but it wasn’t like you could lie. You didn’t know the island at all. You also didn’t want to risk mentioning that it hadn’t been your choice to come here and offend her if she thought you were implying that her home state was the worst or something. 
“Oh, how fun!” she exclaimed. Ok, well that was a positive reaction at least. 
“My boyfriend’s family was nice enough to invite me along,” you added, wanting at the very least to establish that it hadn’t been your idea. 
“Holy shit, that is nice of them.”
“I know,” you agreed. 
“Well, while you’re here you should definitely check out the Pillbox hike. It’s a little brutal if you aren’t used to hiking uphill but the views are totally worth it.”
“I’ll be sure to mention it to him! We have a free day tomorrow so maybe we’ll do that, thank you.”
You would not be going on the hike. You hated hiking and heights but you would still mention it to Jisung in case the boys wanted to go. 
She smiled but then something out of the corner of her eye caught her attention and she was standing up to leave. 
“Sorry, I promised my boyfriend that I would get some shots of him today and he’ll be pissed if I miss these waves.”
She threw you a wave over her shoulder as she jogged off. You waved back, calling out that it was nice to meet her. You never got her name. 
You only managed to get through a couple of pages of your book before another person approached your chairs. This time, it was Jisung. He had come up to check on you. 
“Make a new friend?” he asked as he shook water out of his hair like a dog. 
“Oh yeah, did you see that girl talking to me?”
“Thought she might be trying to put the moves on you.”
“Oh my god, how many times do I have to tell you I’m not Bella Swan? Not everyone who talks to me is into me.”
“She was your type, though.”
“You say that about all girls.”
“Because that’s your type.”
You rolled your eyes at your best friend. “Either way, she wasn’t interested. She has a boyfriend. She was just asking me if I had a partner out there too.” 
“That doesn’t mean she didn’t think you were cute,” he pointed out.
“You’re so annoying,” you groaned. “I don’t need a wingman anymore.”
He made a face. “That’s right, you’re fucking my brother,” he said, sounding disgusted. You couldn’t blame him. 
“Do you have to announce that to the entire beach? I’m supposed to be your girlfriend, remember?”
Jisung shrugged and plopped himself down on the chair next to yours. He ran a hand through his hair, trying to get it out of his eyes. Because it was wet, it had taken on a mind of its own. You had witnessed Jisung try to tame his hair after a shower on several occasions. It usually ended with him just waiting for it to dry so that he could style it and then making you late to wherever you were supposed to be going. 
“Are you going to go back out there?” you asked. 
“Probably. Wanna join?”
“Very funny.”
“I was being serious.”
“Oh. Well, no thanks.”
“I figured but I just wanted to make sure.”
“You’re sweet.”
-
The boys surfed for a couple of hours before coming in to eat the musubis and snacks you bought earlier. Their parents returned around the same time and you all ate together. 
Afterward, Jisung offered to wade around in the shallow water at the edge of the beach with you.
“You have to get in,” he insisted. “It’ll cool you down.”
“Okay,” you agreed.
You didn’t need any more convincing. You had wanted to get in anyway.    
“Lix, Minho, do you want to come with us?” Jisung asked. 
They looked at each other and shrugged. “Sure.”
The four of you wove through the sea of beach chairs down to the shore where the remnants of bigger waves lapped at the sand. The water was crystal clear, apart from the frothy white foam atop the waves. It fizzled against the hot sand when the waves crashed against the beach, lingering still even when the water subsided. 
There were several groups of people in the ocean as well but it was less crowded than the beach. Families with small children were gathered right by the shore, the parents mingling with each other as the kids played with wet sand and beach toys. You wished you could remember what it was like to be that young. To meet a stranger and be best friends in the blink of an eye. 
There were less and less people the further out from the shore you got. Fathers teaching older kids how to boogie board, teenagers jumping in the waves as they gossiped with each other. 
You weren’t sure how long you spent in the water but before long, Nikki and Dom were waving from the beach to get your attention. 
“They’re either saying it’s time to go, or they’re ditching us,” Jisung said, squinting and making a ‘what?’ gesture with his shoulders. 
“It’s really a fifty-fifty shot,” Felix added. 
“I think they want us to come in,” Minho guessed.
Minho was proven right mere seconds later when Dom beckoned you to join them. 
-
The latter half of the day was spent walking around the city. Being the center of tourism on the island meant Waikiki had a lot of shopping. You had never seen so many high-end stores in one place before. You did some window shopping while the Hans did some shopping shopping. Practically everything in every single shop was out of your price range. You weren’t expecting otherwise but seeing the numbers on the backs of the price tags still hurt your heart. 
You could tell a few of the sales associates recognized Minho from the way their eyes would get big when they saw him. They’d lean over and whisper to each other behind his back. Even though he couldn’t hear them you knew he knew it was happening. It made you feel kind of bad for him. Kind of. 
You ate dinner at some restaurant attached to the lobby of a hotel. It was on the water, which was nice, but it was just as crowded as the beach had been. The poor servers were so swamped that it took over an hour to get your food. No one minded, of course, but by the time Minho laid his credit card on top of the bill it was dark outside. 
“Do you remember where we parked?” Minho asked you as you 
“Yeah, but I don’t know how to get there from where we are right now.”
“So you don’t remember where we parked.”
“No, I remember where we parked. But we’ve walked around so much that I don’t know how to get there.”
Minho shook his head at you. “You should always pay attention to where you’re going. It can be dangerous if you don’t know where you are.”
“Why should I? That’s what I have you guys for.”
“What if we weren’t here?”
“There’s a parked car option on my GPS.”
“What if your phone was dead?”
“What is wrong with you?”
“I just want you to be safe!”
You didn’t want to hear any more. “Jisung, your brother is being an asshole!”
Your best friend, who had been walking alongside Felix, jogged up to meet you when you called for him. 
“What’d he do?” 
“I was just trying to-”
“I didn’t ask you,” Jisung cut in, glaring at Minho. 
“He’s giving me a hard time because I don’t know how to get back to the car from here,” you explained. 
“We can just use the GPS app,” Jisung said. 
You turned to Minho with a smug grin. “See?”
“I can’t believe you told on me,” he muttered under his breath. 
“Get used to it,” you hummed. 
-
The last day on Oahu was a free day. You told Jisung about the pillbox hike that the girl from the beach had suggested and he woke up early to do it with Felix and Minho. He came back raving about it and showed you a bunch of pictures that made you feel a little sick to your stomach because of how high it looked. 
“Thank god I didn’t go with you guys,” you sighed. “I’d be freaking out even if I stayed at the bottom, just thinking about you up there. There aren’t any handrails or guards to keep you from falling-”
“We were fine,” he assured you. “I didn’t even show you the pictures of us on top of the box.”
“You climbed it?”
“I mean, we’d already climbed the mountain. What’s a little concrete box? Everyone else was doing it.”
You held a hand to your heart like a scandalized middle-aged woman. “I don’t think I want to know anything else.”
Jisung took one look at you and laughed. “That’s probably for the best.”
You did some pre-packing at the hotel before joining his brothers to do some exploring. Like Jisung, they had showered after their hiking expedition. All three of them were sporting still-wet hair that was dripping onto their shirts like kids sitting in church service after their baptism. 
You walked around the resort first, checking out all of the pools and hot tubs for later that night. Jisung told his parents that he’d cook for the family and he’d dragged Felix and Minho with him to get groceries earlier. Apparently, Minho said he would help grill while Jisung made some of the side dishes upstairs. You were interested to see how that would turn out. You didn’t have to wait long to find out. 
You walked by the lagoons next, slipping into the resorts along the shore to scope them out. You were surprised to see that some of them were nicer than the one you were staying at. You assumed the Hans had chosen whatever the best money could buy was but maybe they were a more financially conscious family than you’d thought. 
“This is the Disney hotel,” Minho whispered in your ear as you passed one of the pools. “It’s crazy expensive to stay here for just a night. Like a standard room is over six hundred dollars.”
“Are you serious?”
“Unfortunately. I mean, we probably could have gotten a discount but someone would have to pull a lot of strings and then a handful of people would know exactly where I’m going to be and when and we would have had to hire security... it was just easier to book somewhere else.”
“Isn’t it kind of dangerous to be walking around here in the open then?”
Minho shrugged. “I like to live life on the edge.”
You snorted. “Clearly.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Ji showed me the pictures from your hike earlier.”
His eyes widened. “He did?”
“Uh huh.”
“Shit.”
“You know, I could point out how hypocritical it is to lecture me about safety one day and then do shit like that the next, but I won’t.” 
“You’re the one that told us about the hike!”
You ignored him. “Does your agent know you were climbing mountains this morning?”
He narrowed his eyes at you and leaned closer to your face. “No, and she never will.”
“You seem pretty sure of that...”
“You don’t have her number,” Minho said like he was trying to reassure himself rather than call your bluff. 
“Not yet, I don’t.”
“Is that a threat?”
“It’s a promise.”
He gulped. “Why do I get the feeling that we’re not talking about my agent anymore?”
lmk what you think i always appreciate feedback!!
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togrowoldinv · 1 year
Text
Spring Break
College!Natasha Romanoff x Female Reader
When Yelena invites you on a trip, your relationship with Natasha becomes harder to hide from her
Warnings: Smut! 18+ please! Lots of teasing, cursing, oral, also some soft moments
Note: I’m back with more college Nat! Check out Sweetheart for some backstory here. Follow my library blog for fic updates! Enjoy!
Natasha Romanoff Masterlist 1, Natasha Romanoff Masterlist 2, Main Masterlist
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“Natasha,” you say breathlessly as the woman pulls at your hips to bring your center closer to her face. She hums against you as you continue to get close.
But then you’re interrupted.
“I’m home!” Yelena’s voice rings out from the living room.
"Fuck, she wasn’t supposed to be home yet,” you say while frantically trying to get off Natasha.
“No, not so fast,” Natasha says. She pulls your hips back down. “Just stay quiet. You’re going to come for me, sweetheart.”
“Nat, she could come in and-“ you’re cut off by Natasha’s tongue on you again. She works quickly and you bite your lip as you come for her.
“Good girl,” Natasha says quietly as she lets go of your waist.
You hear footsteps approaching your room and Natasha sits up to kiss you before she grabs her clothes and sneaks into your closet. You slip your clothes on quickly.
She shuts the door right as her sister enters your room.
“Hey y/n,” Yelena greets you. She walks right in and sits at your desk.
“Hey, what’s up?” You try act casual.
“So, I’m booking a trip for spring break,” she begins. “And I want you to come with us.”
“Us meaning you and Kate?” You ask even though you know the answer. She nods. “I don’t know Yelena. Third wheeling isn’t so fun.”
“So you’re going to just sit here all week? Come on, please! It’ll be so fun,” Yelena begs you. She gives you her best puppy dog eyes and pout.
“Fine,” you agree. “How much do I owe you?”
“Nothing at all. Kate’s mom is rich, so it’s basically free except for food and drinks.”
You give her a stunned look and she only shrugs.
“We leave Friday!” She says as she walks out of your room.
You shut the door and Natasha comes out of your closet.
“So I guess you heard I’ll be gone next week,” you say with a sigh.
“Why aren’t you excited?” She asks, sitting on your bed next to you.
“I just kind of hate third wheeling with them. And she doesn’t know about us so it’s like I can’t really say no,” you explain.
“I see,” Natasha says. She wraps an arm around your shoulder and you lean into her. You’ve found that you love the soft moments with her just as much as the sex with her.
“I’ll miss you,” you say. And it’s true. You’ve gotten used to sneaking around and seeing Nat almost everyday since that party where you hooked up.
“I’ll miss you too, baby. It’ll be okay,” she assures you. “I’ve got class in the morning, so I should probably get going. Is that alright?”
“Of course, yeah. I’ll talk to you later?”
“Absolutely.”
Natasha kisses you once more before you check to make sure the coast is clear and then she leaves your room and apartment.
The days leading up to the trip go by quickly and before you know it you’re packed and in the car to the airport.
“We are just making one more stop and then to the airport,” Kate tells the driver.
You have no idea what that stop could be, but when you arrive at a familiar apartment your heart beats faster.
Your gut feeling is confirmed when the redhead slips into the seat next to you.
“Hey,” Natasha says simply, a smirk that only you understand is on her face.
Yelena moves out of her seat and hugs her sister. “I’m so glad you could come!”
“Me too,” Nat says. “It’ll be nice to catch up and relax.”
The ride to the airport feels long and intense with the way Natasha’s thigh brushes against yours. When you get into the plane, you can’t all four sit together so you split up into twos. Obviously, you and Natasha end up together.
“How are you here?” You ask her. The loudness of the plane and being a few rows away from Yelena and Kate allows for you to talk like this.
“Yelena asked me,” Nat says.
“Why? Do you think she knows?”
“I don’t, no. I think she just wanted me to go. I don’t know.”
You accept that answer is the best you’re going to get.
“Don’t worry, sweetheart. It’ll be fun,” Natasha says, slipping her hand into yours. “Think about the fact that I packed my best red bikini.”
Your eyes go wide and Nat chuckles. She likes how easily she can get you flustered.
She holds your hand for the entirety of the flight.
By the time you get to the resort, everyone turns in for an early night. Kate and Yelena go to one room while you and Nat take the other.
“See I told you this would be fun,” Nat says as she slips into bed next to you.
“I guess. But I’m still worried she’s going to find out.”
“Let me ease some of those worries,” she says. Her hand brushes your over the skin of your arm.
“Nat, we can’t do that here,” you say.
“Why?”
“We just- we need to keep it chill this week.”
“Alright,” she agrees. “Chill.”
Something about the tone of her voice and the way she kisses your cheek before she turns over to go to sleep tells you that she won’t be making this week easy.
On the beach the next day, your worries are confirmed as Nat strolls past you in a red bikini. Thank goodness you have sunglasses on or Yelena and Kate would see your eyes unashamedly all over Natasha’s body.
“Did everyone put on sunscreen?” Her voice breaks you from your stare.
“Yes mom,” Yelena answers her sister, rolling her eyes in the process. She goes back to her conversation with Kate.
“Y/n?” Nat asks.
“Um, no I didn’t. But I’ll be fine,” you say.
“You’ll get burnt, sweetheart. Let me put some on you,” she says with a smirk on her face.
She doesn’t give you a chance to argue before she’s in front of you with a bottle in her hands.
“We’re going to the water,” Kate announces before her and Yelena walk off hand in hand.
Natasha gestures for you to stand up. You do so and she slips into your chair. She pats the space in between her legs.
“Come on, it’s just sunscreen,” she teases you. You sit on the chair between her legs, trying to ignore the way her her hands are immediately on your hips.
She puts the lotion in her hands and begins applying it to your back. Nat takes her time as she does so. Her hands drift down further and over to your thighs. Deft fingers run over your inner thighs.
“Natasha,” you practically moan.
“You like that, baby?” She asks. Her mouth is next to your ear. You nod and she pulls her hands away. You let out a small whimper. “Don’t do that, sweetheart. You said we were keeping it chill this week.”
Her lips ghost over the back of your neck as she taps your hips for you to stand up. She puts the bottle away and walks towards the waves, leaving you there speechless.
And that’s what she does for the entirety of the next few days. Never missing an opportunity to tease you, she keeps you flustered.
On the final full day, you’re laying out in the sun when Natasha comes up to you. She’s been in the water and her skin glistens with water droplets. She takes her hair down and shakes it out. The water hits your body.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get you wet,” Natasha says. Her words and the look on her face is enough to make you wet, and not from the ocean water.
You stand up and excuse yourself back to the resort. Trying to cool down, you get a water from the fridge. When you close the door, Natasha is standing on the other side of it.
“Fuck! You scared me,” you say.
“Sorry,” she chuckles. She hops on the counter. “You’re not playing it very chill by the way.”
“Me? Says the one who is teasing me!”
Natasha laughs and reaches her hands out for you. You look towards the door and back to Nat. You really do miss being in her arms.
Taking her hands, you step between her legs.
“What’s the harm in not keeping it chill just once?” Nat asks. “Besides I did actually make you wet, didn’t I?”
“Yes.”
“Yes what?” She asks, her fingers hover over the waistband of your bathing suit.
“Yes daddy.”
“There we go, baby.”
Natasha slips her fingers into your suit bottoms and runs them over your slick folds. She smirks at how wet you really are. Slipping then down your legs, she gets off the counter and is on her knees in front of you.
“Oh fuck,” you say as her mouth gets work quickly. You reach for the counter in front of you so you don’t lose your footing. She makes you weak in the knees.
“Be good for me, baby,” she says with a sternness to her voice. Her hands grip the back of your thighs tightly.
You’re so into it that you don’t notice the door opening. But you do hear it close. So does Natasha. She stops eating you out and stands up abruptly.
“Was it Yelena?” She asks.
“I don’t know,” you say. “Oh god, I don’t know.”
You start to pace the kitchen in a panic. Nat hands you your suit bottoms before she goes to the door to see if she can tell who it was. She has no luck.
“Okay relax, baby. If it was Yelena, she would’ve said something. Maybe it was housekeeping or something?” Natasha tries to ease your worries.
“Or it was Kate who will immediately tell Yelena,” you say.
“Let’s just not worry about it, okay? We’ll get cleaned up and get ready for dinner.”
“Okay.”
“Hey, I’ve got you,” she says, taking your face in her hands. She kisses your forehead gently.
It’s not long before Yelena and Kate are back and getting ready for dinner as well. The four of you walk to the restaurant and everything appears to be going smoothly.
Until during dinner when Yelena turns to Kate and asks, “Are you okay? You’ve been quiet all night.”
“Oh yeah, I’m good. It’s just- never mind,” Kate replies. Her eyes bounce between you and Nat. Your pace quickens.
“What is it, babe?” Yelena pushes.
“I saw something,” Kate blurts out. Yelena raises a brow, prompting her to continue. “It was Natasha and y/n they were-“
“We’re dating,” Natasha interrupts Kate. “We have been dating for about a month.”
“Oh,” is Yelena’s only response.
You jump in. “We were going to tell you.”
“Excuse me,” Yelena leaves the table.
Your eyes tear up as you worry about how she reacted and if she will still be your best friend.
“It’s okay, sweetheart,” Nat says. “Stay with Kate. I’m going to go talk to her.” She rubs her hand on your back before she leaves the table.
“I’m sorry,” Kate says. “I just felt like I had to tell her.”
“It’s alright,” you say.
Meanwhile, Natasha finds Yelena back up in the room.
“Why?” Yelena speaks first. “Why my best friend?”
“Because she’s everything to me,” Natasha replies. “When I’m with her, I just feel at home.”
Yelena sees the truth in Natasha’s eyes. She’s never seen her like this before.
“You’re not just hooking up with her?”
“No,” Nat says. “It started the first time that way, but really it was more than that by the time we finished. Yelena, I promise, I’m not going to hurt her.”
Yelena crosses the room and takes her sister into her arms. For so long, they’ve only had each other. And now they both have you.
“Can we go back to dinner?” Natasha asks, holding her little sister tight.
“Yeah,” Yelena says. “Just promise me that nothing with us will change because of this.”
“I promise, sestra,” Natasha says.
The two walk back to the restaurant and Yelena walks ahead to get to you first. She hugs you from behind.
“Don’t hurt my sister,” she says.
“I won’t, I promise.”
“I know,” she says. “Also, don’t tell me anything about your sex life. Got it?”
You laugh at that. “Got it, Yel. I love you.”
“Love you too,” Yelena says. She goes back to her side of the table and Nat sits next to you again.
“We’re okay?” You ask her.
“We’re okay, sweetheart.”
Natasha reaches for your hand underneath the table. With the feeling of her hand in yours, love radiates between the two of you.
And everything feels right.
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sugar-petals · 1 year
Text
𝖘𝖚𝖇!NCT ; { 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚐𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚜𝚚𝚞𝚊𝚍 | 18+}
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[ # 𝚝𝚊𝚐𝚜. ] domme/sub. oral sex. kinks. toys. breath play. semi-public sex.
⟨ AUTHOR’S NOTE. ❌ here’s to a 9-part hc, this time it’s the neos! 5k words total — at this point, i might just name my blog oral fixation central instead of pretty boy central. i picked members who i thought would suit the scenario best, from power bottoms to innocent subs: pick your preference from the little ‘feat’ list below ⬇︎ and if you like what i do: interact and/or reblog ♥︎ enjoy! x
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[ + PAIRINGS.] crop top!mark, shy!taeyong, poly soft sub!shotaro, hard sub!yuta, experienced!jungwoo, tease!yangyang, trophy bf!xiaojun, service sub!johnny, pro!ten x femdom!reader respectively
| masterlist | 
| read it on ao3 | 
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⇢ MARK 마크 - All about the eye contact while hugging your thighs. You’re comfortably reclined, playing with his soft flowy bangs. His shampoo smells so. Fricking. Good. He’s kneeling there, ass up, one hell of a sight. Why have one nice thing when you could have two at once? Mark eating your cake, you can check out his cake — and spank it later — it’s a win-win. Mark is the kind of guy who blurts out a thousand thoughts per minute, but when he eats you out, the laser focus he’s known for when rapping returns to its full glory. As if he could read your wants and wishes out of your gaze. If you want clit kisses, you get them. Still, Mark often confuses himself in typical style („Hold on, hold on! The towel goes here below, wait, I got it wrong!“), but! He is not confused by you. It’s more about figuring out his technique. Was more cautious at the beginning already, however not because he thought you were unapproachable or mysterious. Mark loves you very much and thinks you’re beyond hilarious. Which is why eating you out is constantly interrupted by mutual laughing fits, no surprise there. His tunnel vision can only last for so long! You make your boyfriend cry tears by making funny faces. He’s caught off guard. It’s good to lighten the mood. Being funnier than Mark is hard to pull off, which makes it even more rewarding to make his face glow from heat, thigh squeezing, and grinning. One hand on his cheek if you can reach, the other at the back of his neck. Mark has the softest peach fuzz on his nape, so satisfying to stroke. What starts out hasty or confused turns into comfy relaxation and trust, Mark knows how much it soothes you.
One scenario became his and your definite favorite. Mark got his driving license, parked in front of your home, honked, and had the audacity to sit there behind the steering wheel with a purple crop top on such a fine evening. Horny and intrigued immediately, all you did was stare during your drive to the take-out spot you like so very much. His hair had gotten pretty long, it was so cute. But Mark’s body was just as inviting, you wanted to touch and ravage and wreck him so damn badly. Mark barely made it halfway through the city that you asked him to drive off the main street. Innocent mind he is, your baby assumed you knew a shortcut through the traffic. Mark winds up stopping the car incredulously somewhere close to an empty laundromat store, this area of the city was fast asleep and abandoned. When you whispered you wanted to fuck him, Mark’s jaw simply dropped. A perfect exercise for what was about to— come. Perfectly sat on his face, you were deepthroating a whiny Mark laying on the backseat seven minutes later, sucking him off in a proper rhythm, seamless, with Mark nipping and dipping his way into your heart from behind. Mark was ready to die fulfilled by getting crushed. He came down your throat so fast, you had to wait until you could ride him hard: A perfect opportunity to enjoy some more chaotic rapper tongue action before, and moaning out loud when you came on his face. Since you were only getting started but Mark was dizzy with love, you took matters into your own hands and went for the ride of your lives.
read it on ao3
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⇢ TAEYONG 태용 - Insecure and shifty-eyed at first, both hands trembling in the pockets of his grey hoodie. Leader Taeyong mode: Disengage. Listening well is his guideline here, he relies on bits of praise and your instructions („More to the left — yes… feels good“) to know what works. Sub training is the word. Since he’s more of an intuitive lover who prefers not to jump right into it, Taeyong will build the scenario rather carefully with your orders in mind. Morning, noon, or night, doesn’t matter. The time spent gearing up, arranging his room with the right lights and a movie to watch first, the mood at the moment, that’s time well-spent. Impressionable Taeyong is a perfectionist of staging something in every sense of the word. His tendency for theatrics and hot as fuck eyebrow expressions extends to licking you up when his new mixtape plays. Even when he’s fucked-out from the day, he still reserves this energy for his one and only. Getting better and to the point as he progresses is always the bar. The hoodie stays on. The inhibitions come off. Once he gets going and the playlist switches to Baekhyun, Taeyong sucks your clit like it’s your birthday. You reach the point of no return in one minute flat no matter how slow or fast he goes. Your sweet sloppy sub is well aware where the most sensitive nerve endings are and caters to your every throbbing, pulsing, and twitching of the legs. And if you’re insatiable, horny at 7 in the morning again, Taeyong will drop everything he does and climbs back into your bed to play with your wetness at the tips of his fingers, sucking them rigorously like the true cumslut he is. The scent of his crisp aftershave will make you cum in no time, he smells so fucking good and masculine. This handsome man’s all yours.
Recently figured out how mommy cums as soon as he moans her name. So, he has to use it diligently, not too early, not excessively. You help him place his hands on the outer point of your hips, use his bubbling spit as lube, and show your boo how to angle his glorious jaw. Sooner or later, he almost looks like he’s posing in an expensive photoshoot, that’s how physical he is. Subspace is always just around the corner, so you make a habit of reassuring him that he sucks you off right, that you love this way of pleasure, that he’s good at it. Which is no lie. His tongue is flexible and versatile, to say the very least. And his room isn’t the only place where your little encounter goes down. Taeyong once drove you out to see his old school — you both just wanted to revisit the empty building for some memories. Taeyong got nostalgic, plus he loves to show you forgotten aspects of his life that few other people know. The sports facilities in particular. But eventually, you pressed Taeyong against a locker, heavily made out, and within a blink of his pretty doe eyes, his head was between your legs on an old bench. Your dirty talk was off the fucking charts. The pet names you were peppering him with, too. Three minutes after you hit the peak, Taeyong gladly heard the janitor’s keys click in a close-by room, so you just wound up hiding behind some trees of the school’s baseball field. Out of breath, the two of you. Jeez, did he dress you in record time, and jumped up, and showed you the door out. Those reflexes. While you wait for the janitor to leave, a very amused Taeyong shows you pictures of himself when he was enrolled on his phone… as if he didn’t swallow your every drop just minutes earlier. Yeah, he’s fascinating.
read it on ao3
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⇢ SHOTARO 쇼타로 - Kissy lips, kissy face. Squeals with absolute joy when you offer him to have a go — don’t underestimate how much he worships your body. And how much he loves sex, long as it’s not too rough. Shotaro doesn’t like hard subbing, gentle femdom sounds more like it. He won’t risk anything… yet. Wait one or two years and he might as well be super freaky. Until then, no experiments, Yuta’s kinky influence has not corrupted him, but he won’t stop to take a breather either. The perfect mix of commitment and flirt, batting his puppy eyes at you constantly with a very careful mouth at work. Shotaro’s friendly impression is not going to be blown away all of a sudden, that’s not even reserved for moaning his soul out when you peg him. The only time the sweet smile wanes is when your baby feels like you’re not into it — before you even voice it to him. Shotaro is concerned concerned. „Wait! Should I do it differently?“ is the panicked response, and you cool him down for a solid minute with head pats. Making mistakes is what he fears most: Looking pathetic, degraded, embarrassed and unskilled. Needless to say, he’s not the type of submissive who likes humiliation, more points to soft subbing. You say, you’re Shotaro. How could you go wrong. You couldn’t look awful if you tried. Although `going with the flow´ is a washed-out phrase that’s far too simple as a motto, a little bit of calm and laissez-faire really works for him. Not interrupting himself, not checking if absolutely everything is done right, but going ahead and just working his tongue to get some feedback later.
Where he clearly excels is a polyamorous dynamic, romantic and/or sexual: Hear me out. Naturally, he needs no experience with it. He fits right into the mix, acting as a mediator and mood-maker between three parties. Three is good, although four or five is too much for Shotaro to handle, even if the pairs kind of split into couple units within one room. Like two here, three there, or something like that. It’s better to focus and galvanize all the attention on you without distractions or further chaos that would just make the situation uncomfortable. So, three it is. Not a gangbang, just a triad, and if it’s two girls he’ll pleasure at once, he’s right at home. Shotaro is so amicable, his winning smile could put anyone at ease. As I said, despite his lack of experience, he’s a natural. One girl gets to relish his gentle fingers circling and rubbing, the other girl will see his mouth do wonders at the same time. Actually, Shotaro is more confident with a third party around, it’s puzzling. Until you remember he’s part of frickin’ NCT: Their collective buzzing hive mind has likely programmed every member to be good at poly should they choose to try it — don’t ask why, just enjoy. Being around so many people made Shotaro a little awkward in a one-on-one setting, which doesn’t diminish his affection for his main partner, mind you. But you can definitely tell he thrives on poly dynamics, it feels like protection to him. Shotaro’s number one prowess of being able to please will come through immediately, and he’ll do anything to set up the room as romantically as possible. Scented candles, warm blankets, music. Everyone feels secure, and it’s a night you’ll ask to repeat soon. He’s the absolute sweetest, I know.
read it on ao3
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⇢ YUTA 유타 - Enjoys you spitting on him beforehand. Properly. Degradingly, with no hesitation, anywhere across his face. Wastes no time submitting to your sadistic, tormenting deeds. Any viable spot in your living space will serve as a theatre for a great scene. Even the cold basement: You, facing any wall standing, Yuta chained and squatted between your legs to eat his meal from behind-below, begging to be crushed, suffocated. Rest assured you’ll feel warmed up in just two minutes. Nastiest groans between loud slurping noises ever. Moves his head side to side a whole lot. Other people around? „Don’t care“ — Yuta wants everyone to know he pleasures your clit superbly well. Likes, wants, craves the aid of ultra-fancy battery toys. Where’s the excitement, the literal buzz? He’s not happy if you don’t get one hell of a show, whipped cream included (yes, his secret weapon). And, you know… him wearing a red rope harness, even thin heels, hard to balance on as the extra challenge. Dressed for the occasion. Always knows, observes, notices when you love it and when you don’t, or if you think some technique is just eh, mediocre, maybe „time for an upgrade“. The upgrade is more tongue-flicking, by the way. Mister Quick & Sloppy knows what’s good. Yuta shows up carrying a little vibrator collection 70% of the time, some very handy electrical friends that he’s gonna use one after the other while you can just relax. Why just one toy when you could have even more sensations? Alternating with his energetic tongue, it’s an interesting method mix, freaky and experimental. So much more intense, and new. They didn’t lie when they said Yuta had vibes. The things he’s smuggled through crowded hotel lobbies with a stone-cold face just to get you off. And: The toys he ordered online, where Taeyong picked up the package, so Yuta lied it was just another boring game he bought to pass the time.
Looks at you very intensely with his head between your legs, and you wink back by habit. It actually flusters him profusely. Don’t underestimate Yuta’s ability to become extremely shy, this man has such a soft spot for his domme. Especially after she destroyed him totally… he loves it, going past his limits all the time. A cane is all you need to break him, only to get all the head you want with Yuta crying. Hard and mischievous shell, soft and whimpery core. One of the best pleasers, knows you inside out. Yuta has his intricately detailed knowledge about the ladies down. Plus his power bottom tendencies equal the amounts of sheer masochism he possesses: Mercilessly smack him across the face between streaks of sucking, right after he catches a breath, and he will be yours. Yuta will plead you to do it again and again. Never cared about shallow orgasms, wants to make you cum for real, it’s the same with him wanting to scream. Wishes there was a way for you to choke him out while he’s doing down on you, but your hands would reach him awkwardly, preferring to pull on his hair anyway: So he just clamps down on his own neck with one hand, circling your nipples with his spit-covered fingers using the other hand, that fucking perv. That Yuta is crazy you already know, but that he likes to pile on several sex techniques at once is a revelation. That he has the skills to do it is not. Sex god. Your nasty boy deserves to be ruined.
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⇢ JUNGWOO 정우 - Prince of chapstick, he feels super smooth. The face, the same. So soft. The prettiest. Prettiest boy to ever pretty. Long as it’s a chill environment and it’s mostly vanilla, he’s down for anything, your goofy sweetheart. Don’t laugh, you could even put on a random Sunday soccer match on his laptop. If there’s no intense penalty shootout and it’s a little monotonous, both teams equally strong so nothing really happens, that’s perfect as a relaxing backdrop with all the occasional commentary and fan chants, volume turned down by 80%. It would sound weird with any other guy, but Jungwoo makes it work. It could be any sports event, in fact. Ice hockey, billiards, whatever. Or music. Or him wearing a silky jersey himself while he goes down on you, his sporty side is such a turn-on. But no stress, no edge, just being sweet together and flirting a lot. He’s cute and hot and kind at once — the amount of facial expressions you’ll see is astounding. Likes the occasional deeper dive if you know what I mean, though not as in, ambushing you with crazy tongue twisters and whatnot. Deliberate is the word. Is not content staying all too superficial or messy, it has to be rhythmical and make sense, making you comfortable. You thought he would be chaotic, but Jungwoo knows exactly what to do, how to dip, so you don’t worry. Except that you’re an immensely possessive domme behind a generous exterior — with eagle eyes, for that matter.
Since your lil’ pup acts like he has done it before a couple times, and Jungwoo confirms he has experience, you feel a bit jealous and even go on bantering. „Enjoyed it?“ Yes, even if you wish you weren’t, you’re jelly. Jungwoo reacts with a sheepish and embarrassed face, he doesn’t want to spill the beans. What’s done is done, he protects the privacy of his exes, evades questions. You eventually calm yourself to take it easy, it’s none of your biz, although saying his past is his past doesn’t really work as a catchphrase for you: You have to make it crystal clear, have him close in, make him say „I am“ when you ask „are you mine, then?“ Despite his seductive come-hither gaze being a masterclass and his humor being outrageous, Jungwoo is a surprisingly patient lover, hating to just rush it or be inaccurate with his plush tongue. You can feel his adoration. And he’s upbeat. A reassuring smile makes your day, it helps you rid yourself off the stress. Every word you say is appreciated. He hates when someone walks all over their partner, it just isn’t right to him. Listening is more important. Jungwoo hates you being pent up, hates you worried or preoccupied. At work, he can deal with himself. At home, he will vent quickly when there’s a bigger problem, but he’d rather tune into you first. He’d do anything to make you feel like you got rid of your problems, he’s your escapist fantasy turned real. Jungwoo has no problem being considered just that. In fact, he wants it, knowing you can take it out on him in gentle ways: Hands in his soft blonde hair, swaying your hips, cumming when he kisses you.
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⇢ YANGYANG 양양 - Eating you out as his signature move? Well, well. Yes and no. Because seemingly, he does anything but: At first. It’s 99% endless teasing everywhere else on your body. Until, completely on edge, you guide his shoulders and have him get to work. With permission, of course, knowing he enjoys it. You wouldn’t hurt this cutie at all costs, though he likes his head controlled by you like this to begin with. So don’t worry too much, he isn’t made of cotton candy, even if his hair color sometimes suggests that. Ironically, it’s the other way around. He wants to taste your cotton candy. With your hands around his temples, holding him in place. Which makes for a sexy POV from both of your positions. Yangyang is working hard, why is he still so immensely eager, how much energy does he even have? It’s admirable how he can tease your body for so long with ghosting kisses and suggestive eye contact. Yangyang being the master of stamina might come as a surprise, but you know how it goes with Libra men. Pleasers till the end of time. That’s exactly why he indulges you so much in prep. Edging is his thing, though you tend to take back control by cussing him out for licking your ankles like a maniac. „What are you, a deprived Victorian man? You sexy fucking sucker, you, God damn…“ Insults make him squeal and laugh, and soon he’s back to the main event, anyway.
Now seriously, why does the cutie trail off so much? Which, granted, makes you even hornier. Propped onto your couch, Yangyang is humming and licking your thighs with that seductive, way too infuriating grin. Even munching on them when he’s extra cocky, up until you say you’ll fucking spank his soul out if he keeps on smiling like a devil. You’ll mark him up at full capacity, slap his butt, pinch his nose, swear you’ll tickle him until he taps out. But kinky Yangyang is not stopped by any threat of punishment whatsoever. What are you gonna do, smack his ass and hope he stops nibbling on your legs for good? If anything, he gets even more riled up and ready to stimulate you even more. Shit, your body’s on fire from all the attention it gets. So, good luck with this sheer untamable brat. He kisses your belly, sucks on your chest at random. Your fingers, too. The neck. The entire palette. Even the fucking ears. Yuta would be proud of Yangyang’s utter depravity. Little did you know it’s all a tastemaker. In your world, he’s increasing the suspense. In his world, he’s courting you, paying attention to all body parts, showing off what he can do with his lips. Oral sex? Nope, kissing first! Holy fuck, he’s absolutely fucking peppering you. You thought Yangyang was too intimidated to go down on you and delayed it, turns out you misunderstood. Guy is just the king of foreplay. And out of all head squad members? Surprise! His oral fixation is the most unruly and developed.
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⇢ XIAOJUN 샤오쥔 - Okay, prepare yourselves. Xiaojun is a little extra with those kind of things, to say the least. Not kinky, just particular. In fact, he is the type to use his whole damn face. Yep. Very deliberately, slow-mo, so you can see and feel everything. Yes, chin and all. His entire technique would appear lazy, uncoordinated and weird to an outsider, but from your perspective, he’s just nasty, he’s giving it his all: Which is exactly what you like. Xiaojun knows that you’re obsessed with the beauty of his otherwordly features from outer space, and he’s always generous with it — „I’m yours, that’s why“. So why not give it a shot, his mouth can only do so much! Does Xiaojun look down on anyone who sticks to the basics? Probably not, he’s too busy in his own relationship. Being perfect, being hot, being all you need, he goes the extra mile for everything. And that happens to include cunnilingus. The cheekbones, the nose, the forehead, even… You get to feel it, too, not just the lips doing their thing. He’s brave, he’s naughty, he’s sensual all at once. Wants you all over him, after all. Slathered up in your wetness, is this Xiaojun’s new makeup routine? It sure looks like it. The man is glowing for all the right reasons. 
There is a bit of vanity in his style. He’s your designated trophy boyfriend, after all. Gotta look and act the part, doesn’t he. Swipe his hair back while he licks you, put up mirrors for sexy time, doll himself up beforehand with soft and pretty clothes, even a few necklaces. No mediocre. Xiaojun is like Narcissus between your legs, but really, he’s just conscious of how he comes across: And who can blame him. That’s not a boyfriend. That’s a masterpiece. Xiaojun doesn’t need beauty standards, they need him! Few people can handle his awesomeness. Knowing you want his body, his fucking soul, he is all the more eager to satisfy your heated desires with no regard to form: Come as you are. Your PJs, work or uni clothes, naked, near-naked, whatever. He’s the one to look at. Xiaojun puts great emphasis in slow-paced presentation that matches some tender music in the background. It could go on for hours if you wanted. Dejun could do the juiciest and unusual things while a ballad is playing in the background, but you’re into it. Because it’s not torturously done, but well aware that you think he’s stunningly handsome, so he’ll indulge you. Looks good in any position, as one would expect. Enjoys it if you sit on him lots because he likes to be below, this overpowering angle. The same idea applies here: Torturously slow is the key. You’re a strict and controlled domme, that suits him the very best.
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⇢ JOHNNY 쟈니 - Sassy, sassy boy. Talks a lot at the beginning, 100k words friends to lovers. Is this Youtube? Johnny needs to know exactly what you want and how he can achieve it. Fair enough, he wants the juicy intel, all of your boundaries and soft limits, your ideas, your sweet spots, your no-gos and best ways to make you comfortable. And hey, that’s a smart and normal thing to do: He just does it all at once, like an essay. Wow. You can tell he thought about everything and wondered about everything. A caring boyfriend, if you think of it. The whole shebang is kind of cute. Johnny has no business being ignorant; nor does he like to disappoint his girlfriend. He already caught your attention with his tight shirt, in fact, he distracted you while you were going through your phone, so now he, um, takes responsibility for his banging body being so hot. „Do you want any snacks before, something to drink? Probably some water, right. Wait a minute, I’ll get it for you. Do you want warm water or cold water? Okay, cold, right. With a slice of lemon or without? Should we turn on the TV or some music? Which blanket do you prefer today, the lighter one or the heavy-duty?“
On it goes, it’s the service sub in him. This is like fucking Hotel Johnny Seo. He wants to be like a personal butler to you, except that said butler has some impressive dancer glutes and no suit on. Johnny really does leave nothing to chance and you appreciate it: Circumspect, as ever, and it’s important to be comfy before getting down to business. Johnny knows it always makes a difference when you’re warm and hydrated, so he keeps on asking questions to make sure it’s all set. But once he is engrossed, lips on your labia… the opposite is true. Why does he stop talking out of literal nowhere, what on earth is going on. Johnny’s dead silent, focused, in a different mindset. Unrecognizable. He barely even moves his body, even if there’s a lot to move indeed. God, is he fucking tall — a bit difficult to drape and position himself on the sheets, but he’ll manage. Kind of folding himself in half will do the trick. You already blew his literal back out with your strap the day before, so his spine’s like jelly anyway: Bending, not a problem. Once he kneels properly, it’s all tunnel vision. Although to be fair, he moans every now and then — which is very stimulating, to say the very least. Puts his spectacular lips to good use and, if he’s honest, wants to be „nothing but a sex toy“ (his words, verbatim!) that you can bend around to your delights. You were kind of confused by what he meant, so Johnny explained it. The point is that you can adjust him however you like and he’s there to give you a good time.
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⇢ ten 텐 - Red alert, the final boss is here. Let's make tonight your birthday. Ten’s piping hot sexual style puts any existing man, no matter how experienced, to a literal devastating shame. Because he has what? The flavor. It’s exceedingly difficult to put his energy into fitting words. Similar to Yuta, he flaunts some seriously rapid flicking tongue movements, but knows when to slow it down for a minute: Nuance! It’s exactly what does the trick. Despite his quick and accurate manner, he won’t overstimulate or overtake you. Overtaking in a sense of, being faster than the pleasure can arrive, which is a mistake he knows is frequently committed. Ten knows that going too hard doesn’t feel good, so he refrains from going on for a second round right away especially. „Fifteen minutes rest is due,“ is what he’ll say, laying down face to face on his side with you. Presenting his cute puffy lips, and also for a chance to look him in the eyes properly. Those cat eyes. They’re magnetic. After enough tension builds and you’re impatient, Ten dives off between your thighs again. Patience (with stamina) is a virtue and he has it. Paired with the most graphic dirty talk you’ve ever heard, Ten is fully in his element, hands in the right places, hair falling the right way, lips promptly sucking you up. If you know his Instagram, you know which bedroom eyes will await you. On the majority of days, Ten is the type who will crawl up to you from the edge of the bed like a feline. You don’t know what’s first to touch. Grab his ass? Cup his face? Pinch his waist? Fuck it, just do everything at once.
Not a fan of 69, he’ll dedicate himself fully to you. Twisting himself around is his job on stage, but he’s remarkably still once chest down in bed. Or the edge of the bathtub, whatever you fancy. Few angles are too awkward for ten. Talk about bathroom sex: He’s probably the only person on earth who mastered giving head in the shower. Even without a mat or towel under his knees, which is crazy. He stays stable as if by sheer magic, the floor being painfully hard and slippery doesn’t bother him, though you insist he use at least a small towel to kneel on when it’s not spontaneous oral. Ten is only focused on his task, nothing else fazes him. He trusts you with the temperature control, and if he’s getting waterboarded from above with the shower on? Then he’s getting waterboarded. Ten won’t care. He’s the goat, he knows he can breathe somehow, and he doesn’t want you getting cold — „just turn the valve, honey“. You often take precautions and turn on the bathroom heating way before, but Ten insists on his ways and can clearly see your goosebumps. Your right leg over your shoulder, your boyfriend eats you out from below with the water stream trailing right over his face. The divine baptism! You can squeeze, grind, and fuck his face stupid in the most erratic thrusts on the bathroom carpet ten minutes later for a solid round two. He wants to be completely at your mercy, laying there on his back, dripping wet long dark hair, getting you off hands-free. This guy lets you do anything. Any-fucking-thing. Ten is a legend.
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buckychristwrites · 11 months
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About You | Day 4 | j.t.
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Pairing: Jamie Tartt x F!Reader
Summary: Your job? Pop culture journalist for The Independent. Your assignment? To write a profile on the cocky footballer that you're publicly feuding with.
Word Count: 3.2k
Warnings: Idk maybe its kinda fluffish. Cussing. Enemies to lovers
A/N: Let me know what you think! :)
Masterlist | About You Masterlist | Main Blog
It was admittedly difficult to sleep that night. Firstly, the couch was just not your choice of  a preferred sleeping spot. Secondly, it was weird having a person sleeping in your bed, especially a person who you didn’t sleep with, and especially especially since that person was Jamie Tartt. 
Which explains why you were up so early, two pans on the stove with breakfast. One with eggs, the other with potatoes frying up. On the counter was the bread, waiting patiently to be cooked in the toaster.
Movement in the bedroom told you that Jamie was awake. Turning from the pans, you threw two slices of bread into the toaster. By the time you had turned back, the door to the bedroom crept open and slow footsteps made their way down the hallway. Rubbing his eyes, Jamie appeared in the open living room. When you looked up at him, you found him still just in his boxers. The two of you stared at each other for a while with similar looks of surprise. You couldn’t say why he was in shock, but for you, it was because of the nakedness. 
“I woke up thinkin’ that I had the strangest dream,” He said slowly, looking around the room with squinted eyes. His back was facing you when he spoke again. “Guess it was not a dream.”
“Not a dream,” You said, scrunching your face. He flopped down on your couch, running his hands up and down his face.
“Drank too much,” He admitted. “My head is fuckin’ killin’ me.”
“Did your clothes evaporate overnight?” You asked him in an unusually high pitched voice. Though you weren’t looking at him, you could sense his eyes jump back towards you. 
“They’re still on the floor, thanks.”
“Well, thank God. I was worried, since you decided not to dress before coming out.” He was trying and failing to hide a smile.
“Fine, fine.” He sauntered back towards the bedroom, and against your better judgement, you looked up from the stove, letting your gaze fall up and down his backside before he disappeared down the hall. 
“We have to be out the door soon, so hurry up!” You called to him, receiving a groan in response. The toast popped out of the toaster suddenly, making you jump. You grabbed a plate and filled it with half the food, setting it down before doing the same with another. When Jamie re-entered the scene, this time fully clothed and with brushed hair, you handed him a plate. 
“Eat fast. I’ll drive us to work.” The sentence felt so weirdly domestic, and you wanted to hate it more than you did.
He nodded, taking a seat at the small dining table and digging in. You sat across from him and did the same. It was a silent meal, but comfortable, as if the two of you had been eating meals together for a long time. Before you knew it, the plates were empty. Jamie stood just as you were about to and grabbed your dish.
“Oh, you don’t have to do that,” You said, reaching to take them from him, but he waved you off. 
“Please.”
You said nothing more, instead rushing towards the bedroom so you could get ready. From the kitchen, you could hear water running and dishes clanking together, making you freeze. Is he doing the dishes? You finished getting dressed and quickly brushing your hair before walking back out. Jamie was just pulling the gloves off his hands as you came into view. Turning towards you, he looked you up and down, expressionless, before speaking. 
“You good?” He asked. You nodded, a surreal feeling washing over you.
How did your day start like this?
The two of you made your way down to the car park, where you climbed into the driver’s side. The rain was still modestly falling, although it was nowhere near the magnitude it had been the morning prior. Despite turning the car on, you made no move to leave, even after Jamie was in and secured. A few seconds passed before you felt his stare fall on you.
“I think we should start over,” You said, before turning your head to meet his gaze. “We’ve both done things, and continuing to fault the other for the past is counterproductive. I think we should go into today with a clean slate between us.” 
“Dunno,” He said as you came to a stop light. A moment of deja vu hit you as you turned to face him, reminding you of the evening before. When you met his eye, you found him smirking. “I kinda like bein’ mean to ya.” 
“Well, in that case…” You trailed off, the both of you laughing at the exchange. After a second, you tilted your head. “I’m not saying we have to be the best of friends who braid each other’s hair and share their deepest darkest secrets. But at least while I’m around for the next week, we can pretend.”
He lifted a finger at you before saying, “Or two.” You looked at him in confusion.
“Or two what?”
“Weeks.”
“Or two weeks,” You repeated back to him in agreement. 
But you didn’t think it was pretending, at least not for you. It was then that you realised that you were, indeed, starting to like Jamie Tartt as a person. Though he was still stubborn and arrogant, the night before had been a moment of clarity for you. He was just as broken as everyone else, despite his cool exterior. Inside, he was just a young boy, begging for validation and affirmation. But most importantly, he was begging for the love he didn’t receive from his father. Beyond that, the night before had you laughing the hardest that you had in a while. 
The car behind you honked, you cursing under your breath as you drove through the green light that you had, once again, missed.
“I think you’re right,” He finally said. A smile playing at your lips, you glanced over at him. “It’s hard bein’ angry that you’re here.” He paused, and it was then you noticed the water bottle in his lap, which was he messing with the lid of. “You…” A beat passed. “You didn’t turn out to be the villain I’d made you in me head all these years.” 
Something about that made your heart swell.
“You’re not as bad as I made you out to be, either.” You smiled with your face forward. And though you weren’t looking at him, you thought you caught a smile out of the corner of your eye.
“Although,” He added, his voice quiet. You eyed him, waiting patiently. He let out a slight laugh, rubbing his forehead. “You actually do know my deepest, darkest secrets now.” 
Something fluttered in your stomach.
The next thing either of you knew, you were putting the car in park. A few spaces over was Jamie’s car, patiently waiting for him. You pulled his keys out of your purse and handed them.
“I take it you'll need those.” 
He opened his mouth to say something, but immediately seemed to backtrack. You studied him. For a man who had been drinking so hard the night before, he seemed like he was in good spirits. Suddenly, he was jumping out of the car. 
“Can’t sit here all day, can we?”
You followed, having another moment of deja vu as the two of you walked in the club together. Despite having worked there for what you could assume was a while, the security guard still appeared overjoyed at the sight of Jamie, and forgot to check your pass. 
It seemed like the entire team was waiting for the pair of you, for once he, then you, entered, a chunk of them circled around like a pack of dogs.
“What happened last night?”
“Did you drive, Jamie? Is your car okay?”
“Did you sleep on the street?”
“Lads, lads, let’s calm down, yeah? A man is still nursin’ a hangover,'' Jamie pushed through them to get to his locker. Once he had broken from the pack, all eyes landed on you. The anxiety in your chest began to creep up.
“I drove him to his place. threw him in bed, and then I went back home, myself,” You explained to them. Over Dani’s shoulder, you could see Jamie look over at you. Holding his gaze for a moment, he nodded at you as if to thank you. You looked back at the others without giving any sort of reply. They all seemed to accept this explanation without further questioning. 
“We are just glad you got home safely,” Sam said, a wide smile that he gave to both you and Jamie. 
“Didn’t seem concerned when you sent the enemy after me, did ya?” Jamie asked, making the others roar out in laughter. You couldn’t help but laugh along with them as you could hear the playfulness in his tone. 
“We were just gonna let what God intended to happen, happen, bruv,” Isaac said to him. 
“Maybe God intended for her to go after you, Jamie!” Dani added. 
Jamie and you exchanged a look before quickly looking away. Your cheeks grew very hot. Jamie awkwardly scratched the back of his neck. 
With immaculate timing, the coaches entered in that moment, saving the both of you from having to come up with a response. You took your place against the wall, although now you allowed yourself to stand a bit closer to Jamie’s locker. 
As they spoke, you took notes. 
“Didya ever think that maybe you’d learn more if you listened than just writing down whatever they say?” Jamie whispered into your ear. His breath was warm against your skin. Ignoring that feeling, you shot him a glare. 
“I don’t need to know how to play football,” You reminded him, glancing at the coaches to make sure they weren’t privy to the two of you talking before going on. “So I don’t need to learn what all this means.” 
“Just tryna help ya sound smart for ya article.”
“Are you saying I sound stupid?”
“You could sound smarter…” 
“And who made you the expert on sounding smart?”
“Meself, obviously.”
“What are your qualifications, footballer?”
“Well-“
“I’m sorry, is this meetin’ interruptin’ you?” Roy’s voice boomed through the room, making the two of you jump.
“Sorry,” Jamie called out, raising his hand in apology. You lowered your head and furiously pretended to be writing notes innocently. Roy’s glare lingered for another few seconds before Beard continued talking. 
When everyone began to head towards the tunnel, you walked towards the entrance to the stands. 
“Oi.” You turned to see Jamie watching you. “Just come out with us. You can stand with the coaches.” When you opened your mouth to counter him, he waved his arm towards himself as a gesture to follow him. “It’ll be easier for you to take your wee notes. Let’s go.” Conceding, you followed him out onto the pitch. 
The rain had stopped, the sky still blanketed with clouds. The players started running their drills. You stood a few feet behind the coaches. Being on the pitch as opposed to the stands did make a difference. It was much easier to hear the coaches, and you could hear the players as well. 
“So,” A voice next to you said. You jumped, damn near throwing your notepad across the field before turning to find Beard next to you, standing in the same exact stance when he had been in front of you just moments before. “A truce was called, then?” After you remembered how to breathe, you nodded. 
“We talked it out, I think.” The two of you looked out in time to see Jamie fold over in laughter over something Isaac said. 
“I haven’t seen him in such high spirits since Ted left,” Beard admitted. The mention of the former head coach brought your thoughts to a screeching halt. You glanced at him for a brief second before turning back to Jamie.
“He hasn’t brought Lasso up at all to me.” 
Beard blew a raspberry, shaking his head. “He was really torn up about it. I don’t think he wanted anyone to know.” He was thoughtful as he continued to watch the footballer kick a ball into the net. “I think he viewed him as a father figure.” You thought back to the conversation from your car, where Jamie told you about his abusive father. The pain in his voice was so clear, along with the hesitation to tell you. 
“He told me a little about his dad,” You said quietly. 
“I’ve never witnessed such behaviour from a parent,” Beard admitted. “Disgusting.” This truly grabbed your attention, making you turn your entire body towards the coach.
“You saw it?” You asked. “You saw his father abuse him?” The expression on Beard’s face became a pained one, the memory clear as day on his face.
“It was at Wembley, when we played Man City,” He explained. “Pops came backstage, clearly sloshed. Wanted to bring his buddies through security to take pictures of the pitch. Jamie said no.” He began to shake his head. “Started calling his own son names, and getting in his face. We had lost, morale was low. Jamie clobbered him right in the nose.” At this, he looked proud. “He deserved more than that, but I’m glad he got what he did get.” 
You felt sick. The breakfast you had worked so hard to make was threatening to make a reappearance all over the rich green grass. 
When Jamie had told you about his dad, you had assumed it had happened a long time ago,  maybe as soon as when he had just started out. Never would you have ever thought that it was happening so recently that Coach Beard, or any of the current members of the team for that matter, would’ve been there to bear witness. 
No wonder your articles hurt him so much. It all made more sense now. He was getting abused two fold.
The second your eyes found Jamie, seeing his smile as he passed the ball to his teammates, you felt a surge of pride towards him. He was a huge jerk for a long time, following in the shadow of his father. But he learned, and he grew. Now he knew kindness and love. 
The transformation was quite magical.
The whistle blew and the players made their way towards the coaches. Jamie stood next to you, eyeing you curious.
“You alright?”
You turned to face him, and it felt like you were seeing him for the first time.
“I’m good.”
He stared at you for a long time, eyes searching your face, before nodding. Crossing his arms over his chest, he turned to face the front again. You began taking notes again. It was hard to focus, with the newfound information fighting to be at the forefront of your mind. It felt strange, knowing something so intimate about Jamie that he hadn’t told you. Part of you wondered if you should tell him, but maybe that wasn’t for the best. You weren’t out of the woods yet when it came to your relationship with him, and it wasn’t best to rock the boat further. Maybe after the article you’d-
No. After the article, you’d be back to business as usual. There wouldn’t be any chances to talk to him about anything, really. You’d be off the pitch and back in your office. He’d continue to play football and be Jamie. And it would be like none of this ever happened.
Why the fuck is this making me so sad? You asked yourself.
Pulling you from your thoughts was Jamie bumping his hip against yours. You jumped slightly, before turning to look at him. His face was filled with amusement.
“Sorry, Jumpy,” He said with a voice filled with laughter. “I was thinkin’ we could have a chat after practice, if ya want.” You shook your head with more force than you intended.
“Yeah, that would be great!” There must’ve been something off about your tone, for he knitted his eyebrows together, his head tilting slightly.
“You sure you’re alright?” 
Inhaling slowly, you nodded again. This time with more ease.
“I’m fine, Tartt.” At first, he seemed shocked that you were back to calling him by his last name, but the smile you gave seemed to placate him, as he returned it almost as quick. 
When practice was over, and the field had been cleared out, it was just Jamie and yourself who remained. You sat in the grass, running your fingers across the even cut blades. Jamie was standing, and was moving around as if he wasn’t able to stop.
“Do you ever relax?” You asked him, your phone already set to record. He paused at this, raising his hands in question.
“I’m always relaxed.”
“That’s definitely not true.” He scoffed, but you continued. “What do you do to unwind?” This made him stop, genuine thought on his face.
“I dunno,” He admitted. “I like havin’ a pint with friends. Layin’ on me couch sometimes.” When his eyes found you again, he found your face scrunched up. “Don’t look at me like that.”
“I’m gonna make that the headline,” You said as you raised your hands and wrote a line in the air in front of you. “‘Jamie Tart: He Also Drinks Beer and Lays On The Couch.’” He laughed.
“Fuck off.” Shaking your head, you looked around at the field.
“If you could talk to any deceased person for 30 seconds, who would it be and what would you say?”
The next words out of his mouth hit you like a train. In the most earnest voice, he said, “I’d talk to George Harrison, and tell him thank ya for inspirin’ me to live my life.”
The recording was instantly turned off, as it was ruined by the way you were laughing. Jamie looked scandalised as you fell backwards into the grass.
“What’s so fuckin’ funny?”
“Didn’t you only just find out about George Harrison dying?”
“I didn’t know!” He shouted, throwing his hands in the air. “Can’t know everything all the time, can I?” As you came down from your laughter, wiping a tear from your eye, you shook your hand.
“No, you can’t.”
He started moving around again, and you watched him. Recalling the conversation from earlier with Beard, you bit your lip.
“What about living?”
He paused.
“What?”
You inhaled sharply. “If you could say whatever you wanted to any living person, with no consequences, what would you say?” 
This made him really freeze, his eyebrows properly knitted together. After a moment of silence, he took a few steps forward and sat down just a few feet from you. Elbows on his knees, he rested his chin in his palms.
“I’d ask my dad why I wasn’t enough to keep ‘im sober.” All traces of humour left your face. He nodded before continuing, “I’d tell him I needed him to treat me as more than a punchin’ bag.” Another beat passed. “And then I’d thank him. I’m the man I am today in spite of him. And I’m proud of that.” 
He was staring at his hands right then. You smiled at him.
“You should be.” 
His head jumped upward, eyes falling on you once more. Your smile was more broad this time, as you leaned forward a little.
“Yeah?” He asked, as if his opinion was hanging by the thread of your answer. 
You nodded firmly. “Yeah.”
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nimmie-nugget · 8 months
Note
Hii! I have a request for Mha ✨️
What if Fuyumi adopts a kid? And they can go out and do a bunch of fun things like playing at the park and getting ice-cream. :D
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~Fuyumi x Child Reader~
Reminder: drink water and eat a full meal! Turn on dark mode if it’s currently night where you live~ wouldn’t want ya eyes to hurt right?~ —go to your profile and press the icon that’s on the VERY right, then click “General Settings” and scroll down a bit till you see “Color Palette” and there should be a few options for ya there!—
Note: AHHHHHHH MHA SHALL NOW BE INTRODUCED INTO THIS BLOG!!! 😆 I’m gonna be honest- I got so excited while writing this! 🤩 Enjoy! <3
P.s Fuyumi might be ooc considering this is my first time writing her 😓
Edit: guys it’s been like months how r ppl liking this 🤯⁉️ but u do u 😼💪
(this is more of a FNAF blog now, tho I’m on a hiatus for a few more days but if u into fnaf and u like seeing C.C art then YUPPPYYYYYYY)
Masterlist
Main Masterlist+Introduction
Fuyumi=Red, Y/n=Pink, Teacher+Ice cream worker=Black or White (depending on your Color palette)
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it’s been a while since Fuyumi has adopted you. She was always busy with work and other things you did not need to know but she still made room for you, but half of the time it’s either your uncle Natsuo, Shoto or your grandpa babysitting you. Usually ends up with Natsuo. You’ve visited your grandma at the hospital one too many times and you wonder why she’s there, she isn’t hurt or anything right?
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You were currently in school playing with your friends until your teacher made an announcement “ok everyone! Y/n will be leaving early today so say your goodbyes!” The teacher beamed, all that was heard were ‘awes’ and ‘bummer’ and ‘lucky…’ eventually everyone got over their little tantrums and said their goodbyes. You were guided towards the office as Fuyumi came in sight, you ran towards her wrapping your arms around her torso with your head buried in her stomach and you felt soft hands touch your head as you looked up making eye contact with Fuyumi “Hi mom! How was work?” You say excitedly. She smiled at you as she ruffled your hair “Y/n, sweetie! Can you give me a few minutes?” “Ok!”
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Time passed by and Fuyumi was done talking with the staff. Both of you got in the car as you questioned“Mom, why did you pick me up from school early?” Fuyumi smiled at you again. “Well~ I though maybe me and my cute precious daughter can have a day out with just the two of us!” There were stars in your eyes showing you were indeed excited but you also got embarrassed at her statement of ‘my cute precious daughter’ “mom!!!” Fuyumi giggled as it seemed time passed by so fast that you two were already at your destination. Fuyumi and you got out of the car and we’re walking towards the play ground.
“Ahah! Mom come play with me!” You tugged at Fuyumi’s shirt wanting her to go down the slide with you. “Ok! Ok!” The both of you giggled as you were placed onto her lap, you put your arms in the up as you and Fuyumi slid down “WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! Let’s go again!”
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Now both of you were getting ice cream.
“Y/n which one do you want?” Fuyumi said pointing to a bunch of popsicle flavours displayed onto the ice cream truck. “I want chocolate!” “One chocolate ice cream with sprinkles please!” You beam at the fact that she remembers you like ice cream with sprinkles “alright one chocolate ice cream coming right up! Anything for you ma’am?” You proceed to chant the word ‘chocolate’ as the other two speak. “Ah! Yes I would like vanilla if it’s not a bother!” “One vanilla ice cream coming right up!” Fuyumi paid for the ice creams and you guys went for a short walk.
“This is the best day every!!!” You laughed and Fuyumi joined in the laughing with you. “Be careful with your ice cream! It’s melting!” Fuyumi said as she wiped your mouth with a tissue as you just smiled towards her.
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Both of you were finally back home as you were being carried in Fuyumi’s arms “mom?” Fuyumi hummed in response. “Can we ever go out like this again someday?” You say getting sleepy by the time Fuyumi responded you were fast asleep. She giggled and kissed your forehead “of course.”
114 notes · View notes
rise-my-angel · 2 months
Text
Heart of the Great Wolf
Woes of a Modern Day Love
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Pairing: Jon Snow x F!Baratheon!Reader
Length: 21.2k
Warnings: angst/hurt comfort, abusive relationships, pining, male masterbation, domestic violence, unhealthy alcohol consumption, implied sexual abuse, smut, oral (f receiving), p in v
Notes: A modern!au of my main series, no knowledge of that fic is required though. Also if you thought this was going to be a fluff filled funny fic, I'm so sorry you must be new to my blog. Series Masterlist Here
Jon Snow could still recall that day as if it had just occurred. Six months had passed since then, and yet it currently felt like an utter lifetime of endless suffering. The way he knew right away as he picked up the phone that something was very wrong, how much you were trying to be quiet without crying and the swiftness in which you hung up as soon as yelling could be heard on the other end.
He had all but knocked his chair over how fast he got up before running out of the door, yelling back to Sam to tell Commander Mormont he'd apologize for leaving like this later. By his estimation as he had gotten into his car, it would take about five hours to get there if he, perhaps, didn't quite follow the speed limits. Double checking he still had something in his glove box, Jon shifted things around to prepare before leaving.
As morose of a thing it was to say, Jon had been long since preparing for it. Not a man to rub it in your face how much of a mistake he thought you had been making, but Jon did not sit idly by and wait for it all to implode leaving you stranded and alone. Jon had known this was coming since the day you had told him you were dating Karl Tanner. Not many men were known to be kicked out of the Nights Watch, but he had been one of them and Jon still could not fathom how he had convinced you to date him.
Or what he said to talk you into moving away from your friends and loved ones, to live with him five hours away.
But you were an adult, and Jon couldn't coddle you from the world. He couldn't just lock you in your room and tell you to break up with him. But he did know for a certain that when Jon had been the one originally planned to drive you there, Karl took it upon himself to pick you up instead. He knew why, giving Jon five hours alone with you was giving him five hours of time to talk you out of it.
No music played on his radio, he never bothered connecting his bluetooth, he only drove five hours in a seething silence, hand tense on the steering wheel counting down each mile remained. By the time he could see the house in the distance, you were waiting. Front door closed, you sat on the steps with your arms wrapped around your knees and a bag next to you.
The second you heard the sound of an approaching car you stood. Within the instant Jon got out of the car, he could see every sign you had been trying to hide the fact that you were previously crying but he didn't care for a second. Pulling you to him, his eyes wide and painting over with such a worry as he cupped your cheeks, “Did he hurt you?”
Jon was not convinced by the weak manner in which your tone said no. But you shook your head still barley finding the courage to grasp lightly at his waist, only a cracked whisper coming from you realizing he was still in his Nights Watch attire, that he had left the Wall to get here. “I'm sorry, I shouldn't have made you-”
One hand running over the hair at the side of your head, Jon rasped gently. “No, darling. None of this is your fault.” Trailing off for a moment he glanced down to the small bag you had, no bigger then a gym bag and not even full by the looks of it. “Where's the rest of your stuff?”
Avoiding his eyes, you shook your head again, “It's fine, I just want to leave.” Jon asked far firmer that time, why you didn't have your things with you when your eyes drifted nervously to the side.
Narrowing down, grey eyes tinting down to more of a black, Jons voice grew rougher. “You had a full car worth of things,” gesturing down to the bag in your hand. “This isn't even enough for overnight.” It was the way he could tell you were biting your tongue to keep quiet that made him angry all over again. Either you were too scared to go back in and get the rest of it, or Karl wasn't letting you but either way meant he was still in the house.
Saying he'll go in, you suddenly perked up. Eyes going wide and almost trying to push him, or more, the both of you away from the door. “No, Jon, it's- it doesn't matter let's just go.” Jon persisted, one hand firmly on your upper arm keeping you in place as the other stayed on your cheek, you trying one last time. “I don't care, it isn't a big deal.”
Rasping in a soothing low voice, he assured you. “It won't take long.” But it was then he realized in a manner of speaking, why you hadn't wanted to press the issue. Karl had opened the door, and leaning against the frame his voice rung out with the same condescension he always had towards him.
“Lord Snow, of course you're the one who comes to her rescue.” Jaw clenching instantly, still with the childish nickname. He was the direct assistant to his stations Lord Commander, and so the nickname had passed amongst those who didn't like him as a way to mock his position. “I told her she can get the rest of her stuff, she's the one who didn't want to come back in. Not my fault.”
You looked up at Jon, imploring him to simply listen to you and leave, but his eyes had yet to leave Karl's with a growing rage burning in his blood. “And why would she be too scared to come back in, Tanner? What did you do to her?”
You tried calling Jons name, but he merely guided you to stand behind him as he took a step towards the unmoving man at the door frame. “Who says I did anything? Why don't you ask her.” Raising a smug eyebrow towards you behind him, “Go on sweetheart, tell him what caused our little disagreement.”
Jon hadn't yet realized his voice was already raising. “I heard you screaming at her on the phone, you call that a disagreement?”
Karl only shrugged, still as smug as before. “She likes to play rough, don't you?” Looking back to you once more Jon somewhat shoved you behind him far more down the grass. Muttering for you to wait in the car, and the second you tried to convince him to leave, Karl kept making it all the worse. “See, she doesn't listen to me, doesn't listen to you. Got ourselves a trouble maker, we do.”
Jon spoke over whatever you tried to say. “How about you stop talking, let me get her stuff and leave so you can tell Rast and Locke all about how you scared me into running away, and we can move on with our lives.”
“Of course.” Turning suspiciously to the side as if to give him space to walk in, but Jon didn't move yet when Karl couldn't help himself. “Take your time, I'll stay out here with our girl and make sure she doesn't wind up getting into even more trouble. Or, maybe you'd prefer her more then a little broken in?”
The second Jon moved, you had swiftly put yourself in front of him. Pushing him back, barley making any difference as he looked up, and you desperately tried to get him to look at you. “Jon, please, I just want to go.” Glancing down, his eyes softened almost instantly. “Please.” Swallowing roughly, he nodded.
Without another word, he had grabbed your arm to turn you around and once more push you ahead of him. Ensuring you were in the car first as he watched with a deathly glare at Karl the whole time. But not before one last thing came out of his mouth, now that you were in the car and Karl was sure only Jon would hear him. “If I were you Lord Snow, I'd ask her what it was she said while I was fucking her this morning that started the argument. I'm sure you'd find the answer rather interesting.”
Jon said nothing of it, slamming the car door before leaving without another word. And it took well over five silent minutes after that for you to find your voice to try and apologize. With not a shred of the harshness anymore, Jon dismissed your every attempt. Instead shifting the conversation to ask you what you brought.
“Toothbrush, toothpaste, my phone, journal, and a few clothes.” Jon asked calmly about your laptop and a glance to the side he caught you shaking your head. If he were to guess, Karl had likely already called Rast and Locke. They'd trash most of your things and sell what was left. You had sat outside already knowing you'd never get your stuff back.
Without skipping a beat, Jon simply told you “We'll go out tomorrow and I'll buy you a new one.” Protesting with a call of his name, Jon shut it down. “No arguing. I'll move things around when we get to the apartment. You can stay in my office, so the computer in there's yours but you need things of your own. We'll get whatever else you need too, clothes, furniture,” Still you protested weakly, but there wasn't any shortness in his tone. Only a gentleness mixed in with nothing but deep affection. “I have the money, you don't. You don't have to stay with us if you don't want too, but I'm still going to make sure you're alright.”
Now though, Jon could remember glancing back to you. The brightness in your eyes that he suspected you hadn't had in months as intense as you nodded a single yes to him. He never asked what it was Karl meant, it wasn't his place and you were upset, so he forgot about it.
You stayed in the apartment, no one was rushing to see you go. Jons brother Robb had known you as long as Jon, and in your own words, was just as frustratingly insistent at getting you back on your feet. The other in the apartment, a very old friend of the three of you, Theon had clearly enjoyed having you around again as well. The pair of you found your previous friendship picking up easily, acting closer to a brother and sister, meaning you contrasted well against Jon and Robb making the apartment always amusing to live in.
He knew you had trouble getting used to it, the way Northerners did things. In the South it was very much, move out, live on your own, form a new life away from family. But it was different here, it would be weird for people not to live together as such. It wasn't uncommon for when a couple marries, to move back to the family home when having their first child, so that they and the baby could be surrounded with a sense of family.
The Starks didn't have much in the way of outside family anymore, not since before Jon and Robb were even born, but it meant it only would be even weirder for them all to live apart. No one was pressuring you to find a place of your own. No one really wanted you too. And just as you were finally beginning to settle again, finding life and routine, did he come around.
Jon had blamed himself for you getting involved with Karl Tanner, you only even met him because he was pledged to Jons own station. But this time, he seemed to appear in your life out of nowhere. They all tolerated him, seeing passed his facade and not knowing how to explain it to you without sounding like they were attacking your new boyfriend. But they didn't like him, and he knew that. He knew especially, that Jon hated him. And he loved it. He loved how much Jon utterly despised him. Robb and Theon were civil, but Jon would barley speak two words to him knowing he would talk endlessly at Jon in return just to frustrate him.
He had spotted your vulnerability and used it to his advantage to slide in, and he had spotted thusly in Jon, how much he was desperately in love with you. The day he put that together, was the day Ramsay Bolton had made it his life's goal to torment Jon every single moment he could manage.
Jons office was right next to his room, which now meant you lived right next to him. He knew the layout, you shared a wall where your beds were. Now though, it felt as if when he was home he lived on the other side of his room. Distracting himself with work or really anything which came to mind in order to tune it out. Or worse, but he hadn't really been ready to even admit that to himself yet.
It wasn't right now, it was the middle of the day but that didn't change the fact that if Jon worked in complete silence, he'd be able to hear you talking. Which would inevitably lead to Jon eavesdropping, and he was trying desperately to not do that. Anymore. He couldn't stand it after months, when just talking turned to something else.
At first he tried listening to something. Shove on his headphones and tune it out, but that did not change he still knew what was happening. Jon still knew that Ramsay was doing it on purpose.
Spending the better part of the afternoon transcribing, Jon had gotten into the habit of recording his meetings with the free folk, so he could write them out and give Lord Commander Mormont a direct report of what happened, but he so rarely had time to sit at a computer and just listen and type when stationed in, that he tended to take it home. Doing it in the quiet was easier anyways, and it now gave him an excuse to hide away when Ramsay was over.
He couldn't stand there watching him dangle you in front of him, if Jon was busy working in his room.
By the time he emerged, Ramsay was nowhere to be found. Wandering into the kitchen, noticing that he had hidden away long enough that dinner had been made and cleaned up. Robb looked up to his brother, noting the eternal frown on his face and tense posture, he nodded to the fridge. “She left you a plate. Knew you were working, she didn't want to bother you.”
Opening it up, indeed whatever had been made you set Jon aside his own. Exhaling through his nose, Jons eyes shut not noting his hand gripping the handle of the door tightly, nor the slightly more rough shove he gave to close it. Asking low, Jon was grateful Robb was used to Jon when he was like this. “When'd they leave?”
Neither had to specify who. Robb knew Jon and Ramsay hated each other, and that Jon only endured it for your sake. It was why he and Theon endured it too, if Jon could set aside his short temper and overwhelming protectiveness for you, then the least they could do was match that. None of the guys wanted to upset you.
Robb returned back to whatever he had been writing out, “Hours ago. Said something came up at home, she's just in the other room with Theon for the night.”
A frown coming across his face further, Jon turned to him. “Wasn't he supposed to take her out somewhere tonight?” Robb nodded and looked no more impressed. It was a science exhibit that all three of them had poked fun at you, by calling it nerdy. But Ramsay had offered to take you, and judging by your jacket and boots still sitting by the main hall, had indeed, backed down on it.
Jon glanced up to spot the time, keeping the grumble to himself that it was way too late for him to take you, it'd be nearly over by the time he got you there. Besides, he knew you would be bashful. Saying not to go out of his way and you were perfectly content staying in, despite Jon knowing how much you were looking forward too it.
Robb read his mind. “What's that now? Four times this month he's cancelled on her plans?” Jon corrected him on five, recollecting the time you went out of your way to reschedule a dinner reservation at a nice place in Torrhens Square. Ramsay had called you quite literally at the same instance Jon was braiding your hair for you as you tried to put a little extra effort into your makeup, saying he couldn't make it.
Your shoulders had deflated under Jons touch, clearing your throat as you hung up and very awkwardly apologized for making him help you for nothing. Jon had tried to insist otherwise but you shut down, trying to laugh it off rather unconvincingly before leaving to your room and not coming out the rest of the night.
He hadn't told anyone, nor you, that he spotted the dress you bought specifically for that date buried the next day at the bottom of what you called your donate pile. Jon had been there when you bought it too. You had kept looking at it on the rack, this long sleeved dress in whites and ivory and lace trailing down the forearms as it draped along the floor like a gown. The restaurant was fancy and it would be perfect, but you were busying yourself with a thin strapped red dress. Short to the point it on you would hardly cover even part of your thighs, and a neck which would show plenty cleavage despite you not even owning anything showing off like that.
Jon had asked if you were sure of it, and you tried to play it off. Saying it was the sort of thing Ramsay suggested would look good for you to try, but as you were asking the assistant if it came in your size Jon had gently murmured he would be right back. A hand trailing along your back and hip as he passed you by.
Finding your size easy, Jon had brought it over to you before the woman even came back. Telling you to try it on in the meantime. Not mentioning he knew you had been looking at it the entire time, only prompting you into the dressing room with it. Thanking the clerk when she came back but you had reconsidered something else. The woman, a bit older had smiled a little bit, nodding to the curtain hiding where you were. “She's lucky to have a man like you at her side, most boyfriends already have gold and silvers out waiting to buy numbers like that.”
Jon never even considered to correct her that he wasn't your boyfriend.
You had asked him gently to come in, not wanting to make a scene of such a dress on you out in the open if you weren't sure. Not that you had known, but however turned on men would've been by you and your plush skin and soft curves in that tiny red dress, was nothing compared to how hard Jon felt looking at you in such an innocent, long and modest white dress. He didn't insist on buying it, fearing it would look as if Jon was just trying to manipulate you into getting what he wanted. He did want to see you in it, but because you had clearly wanted it so much.
And then a month later, the day after Ramsay cancelled the reservation the second time, it just sat at the bottom of a box. Nicely folded and clean to be donated because the return date had expired, and you no longer had a use for such a fancy dress.
It looked rather odd sitting in Jons closet, a long, white dress amongst far, far too much black mens clothing, but he didn't want you to give up on it yet. You never owned such fanciful things, it wasn't the way you were raised, to value luxury. But Jon knew if the right opportunity came up, if Ramsay bothered to put even a modicum of effort into doing something nice for you, then Jon would show you he kept it for you, so you could have one night in the dress you were so excited to buy.
Jon was so utterly lost in his thoughts, he missed half of everything Robb had said to him. Not even bothering to sit at the table with him, Jon just stood with his back and shoulders tense as anything as he ate at the counter. Only tuning into what Robb was saying as he called to him louder. “Snow.” Jon turning abruptly to look, Robb just gave him a flat expression. “You hear a word I said?”
At least Jon was blunt about it. “No.”
Robb only smirked, used to it at that point. “Father wants you there too, said he'll bloody pay your Lord Commander to give you the night if he has too.” Jon only asked in confusion what Robb was talking about and he shook his head. “You getting knocked in the head out there by the Wall? Starting to loose brain cells already.” Jon took the jest with a grain of salt when coming from Robb. “The Harvest Gala, all of Winter Town's coming into Winterfell, and all the older families are going to be there. Father told me to tell you, you don't have a choice. You're coming, and he's dragging Uncle Benjen down too.”
Moving to wash his plate, Jon only asked “Why did he ask you and not call me?”
“Fathers known you your whole life, if he asked directly you'd make an excuse.” Asking if anyone else was going, Robb dissected the root of Jons curiosity. “Roose Boltons coming, which means Ramsay will be going if that's what your asking.”
Jon only left the room muttering under his breath, leaving behind the sound of his brother laughing both at his expense and as a cope for how little Robb too, was looking forward to the later. “Great. A whole night with you highborns and watching Ramsay shoving his tongue down her throat.”
Oh Jon hated how much effort he put into willing his cock not to get hard now of all times. Not an usual sight, Theon sitting on a chair in the main room working his way through a game, and you spread out gently on the couch across the television watching. Only, you were utterly ruining Jon. He had been wondering where one of his Nights Watch shirts had gone and there you lay wearing it like it was normal you would wear Jons clothes. Sometimes the guys things would mix with your laundry, but normally you gave them their things back right away. Yet you laid out in his shirt, clearly oversized on you. He dared not think that it was large enough and the material thick enough, you could completely hide were you not wearing a bra.
Before he could embarrass himself further, Jon closed his eyes to let an exhale out and get himself together.
He said nothing of it as he approached, only gesturing to your legs as you looked up at his approaching figure. Pulling them more towards your chest, Jon very casually and without thought, grabbed them once more to return you to your previous position just now with your thighs resting in his lap. Your voice was quiet enough for Jon to pick up on without completely disrupting Theon. “Did you see the plate I left you?” Nodding, you sighed out in a relief. “I tried to message you while I was still cooking, but you didn't answer so I figured you were busy. I would've come and gotten you otherwise.”
Narrowing his brows, Jon pulled his phone out and it had been some hours since he checked it clearly. Sam and Grenn both with messages in the group chat, a few from Tormund separately, emails no doubt from Cotter Pyke down at Eastwatch by the Sea bothering him for some thing or another, and of course a single message from you, sweetly asking if he was going to miss dinner and if not you would keep enough for him to sit aside.
Glancing back down at you with a low rasp, “I'm sorry, I haven't even looked at it in hours.” Jon could feel the restraint not to call you by the term he used for you alone. He had always called you darling, he had since he was ten. But it felt unfair to keep calling you that when you were with Ramsay, and Jon also knew if he kept too comfortable it would one day slip out in front of the man himself, and Jon would not have gotten to live it down.
Shaking your head, you flipped more on your back, head turned to see the screen but more easily face Jon when you needed too. “It's alright. I only didn't want you to think I didn't make anything for you.”
Jon would've said you didn't need to make him anything in general, but you both have had that discussion too many times to count. It was fruitless task. Robb and Theon had more normal schedules so sharing who cooked when between you three was easy, but Jons schedule was never consistent day to day. Jon typically came home having not eaten most of the day and so you liked to cook for him. If he worked into the night, you always would check in when he was coming home and if it was in time, you liked to be the one to make dinner.
Since on those nights, you always tried to make sure things were done by the time Jon walked into the apartment, and almost always, at least one part of the meal would be something you knew he specifically liked more then the others. He had long since given up trying to tell you that you shouldn't feel obligated to do that, but you would then have that narrowed expression as if confused why he thinks you feel obligated.
It was quiet between you both when he breached the topic, feeling you stiffen up right away. “Next time something comes up, you should tell me. I would've taken you to the exhibit.”
But you only shook your head, “It's fine. It isn't your responsibility to drive me around like that. You have more important things to do.” No words were appropriate which came to mind, as Jon felt deep within the confines of his heart, that you were what was most important to him.
So he only muttered back, “Just tell me next time. I don't want you missing out on things.”
Your brows narrowed, something hesitant and not understanding flashed in your eyes as you glanced between Jon and the screen. It was risky going further you knew, but your brain did not understand his meaning. “I'm not missing out on things, Jon. Ramsay and I can go on another date any other time.”
Both of you were too stubborn to let it drop. “Dates are one thing, it's another to cancel everytime you have something you're looking forward too.” Jon could tell something about what he had said bothered you. Your jaw clenching a bit as you no doubt bit down on your tongue. Shifting to look back to the screen and no longer keeping Jon in sight.
Were you more childish, you'd have something clever to retort with, but you didn't. Because Jon was right. You simply did not like to think about how often that statement was turning out to be right. You could go to an exhibit anytime. Well, not that one. Only was there for the night and then the event was leaving the North, and it was the only one you truly wanted to go see, but it was fine. There were other things you and Ramsay did other then stupid events you wanted to go to like a child.
You however did not like that when trying to come up with other things Ramsay liked to do with you, the only conclusion that kept coming to you, was how often Ramsay turned down doing anything or going anywhere with you, in favour of just having sex. Then leaving. Much like what Karl was like, fuck and then fucked off elsewhere for the night.
No, you certainly did not want to think about that, because then you'd have to acknowledge the warmth behind your face in an unpleasant manner, and the sting in your eyes. Or how just laying here with your legs draped over Jons lap, his hand respectful as it was caressing, his thumb trailed along where one hand rested on your thigh, was the most intimate feeling you'd gotten from a man in well over a year. You felt dumb wanting to cry at such thoughts. You were an adult, adults in relationships have sex, what was your problem. Telling yourself, you should be grateful Ramsay was even kind enough to fuck you in the first place.
After all, that's exactly what Ramsay would tell you to your face, wasn't it?
It wasn't as if it were obnoxiously loud. On the other side of the back stretch of the apartment were Robbs room, then Theons. It left yours and Jons just on their own at the left end. It was never loud enough it reached their rooms or even the living room. No, it was something so purposeful. It was just loud enough, that only Jon could hear, and he knew Ramsay did it on purpose.
Prompting you specifically to be louder, trying to prompt you to talk more, boast about what he was doing to you more, and mocking you about being shy. All the while, Jon would sit at his desk, gripping his pen so tightly it threatened to snap, because Ramsay would always ensure your headboard banged against Jons wall. The absolute obscene things Jons heard Ramsay say to you by this point, and he could confirm to the no one who asked, that Ramsay wasn't just mean during sex, he bordered on sadistic and cruel.
Jon hated that he knew you were naturally quieter in bed, because of how often Ramsay would make you go louder and louder, and the more perverted things he'd force you to say that sounded unnatural coming from your beautiful, sweet, high pitched voice. It was an unspoken thing only between Jon and Ramsay that this went on. Jon gave zero indication to you he could hear anything, and he knew Robb and Theon heard nothing.
It was something Ramsay did just to make him miserable.
At first he had a routine. It would start, then Jon no matter the time of night, would quietly prompt his direwolf Ghost to go for a night hike in the woods just outside the Stark properties his family all lived on. Sometimes if he was awake, Jon too would beckon Robb's direwolf Grey Wind to join. Ramsay never stayed until morning, and so Jon would wait until he saw his car leave and only then would he make his way down the path from the cliff side and try to sleep. Only one time did Ramsay stay, and he was smart enough at least not to cause a scene that would wake everyone else up.
Jon had just rolled in, a thirty two hour stretch at the Wall and he only had gotten home. Making something simple to eat before a very quick shower, and finally planning on going into his room and passing out, Jon stood in the kitchen in time to hear quiet creeping footsteps. Coming out to the hall, Jon came face to face with Ramsay and it was the only time he'd seen Ramsay hesitate.
Jon still dressed in the black leathers uniformed along the Nights Watch with eyes so seething and black they matched what he wore, Ramsay had finally found one instance where he knew Jon would have the upper hand. It was easy for men like him, highborns who never worked for anything in his life, to mock the Nights Watch right up until he stood before Jon in his dark, imposing uniform. Remembering that as much as the North called them peacekeepers, almost every brother of the Nights Watch was somewhat trained for combat, and Jon was the primary teacher for his station after all.
Jon remembered feeling that Ramsay was lucky. The more skilled men at his station would carry weapons. Partially a left over from when the Nights Watch was entangled in active conflicts with the free folk, and now partially serving as a reminder that the Nights Watch was not governed within the same confines of law. Jon used to bring it home with him, the sword strapped to his side called Longclaw, but he stopped bringing it home when you moved in. Not wanting you to feel uncomfortable with it. He was also lucky Jon remembered thinking, that the shorter dagger Jon kept for safety purposes, still sat in the glove box of his car.
Or maybe, Jon was unlucky he didn't have those with him. Maybe Ramsay wouldn't have come back.
Ramsay only rose an eyebrow at him in knowing before leaving. Jon hadn't blinked nor spoken a word as he watched him leave. Going into the bathroom you two shared, all Jon planned was to forget about it. Wash the grime from his body and rinse out the sweat in his long curls from keeping it up so many hours, but he couldn't stop thinking of it. Of how Ramsay had only been here to sneak off, because he had fallen asleep after fucking you.
The thought was made far worse when Jon realized in his absence, you had restocked everything for him so he wouldn't have to rush out to the store when finally coming home. He couldn't stand it, how domestic you treated Jon while knowing Ramsay got the rest of what came with that.
People mistakened Jon for your boyfriend nearly everytime you two went out alone somewhere. It always happened, and eventually you stopped correcting people on it, not thinking the truth worth explaining to people you barley knew. Someone called you Jons wife once, and he nearly blacked out at the thought. But for all you two treated each other as, Jon sat in his room that night with his jaw clenched so hard he wondered if it would break.
Headphones on, Jon was trying to find anything to distract himself. Abandoning his report open, and leaned much more relaxed back in his chair, connecting his headphones to his phone now, he tried not to consider why he did it. He was a man, men didn't need a reason so why did he? Why was Jon trying not to listen to what he could hear of you specifically as he opened up his browser. If it was nothing in particular working him up, why did Jon double check looking to his door to ensure it was locked?
It was only a coincidence that the search terms he looked for, were physical traits that just so happened to describe you. It had nothing to do with anything. And it was not at all, anything but lack of interest that had him close his browser after searching through nearly fifty pages. Because if Jon let himself think about the truth, then he'd have to admit that he had spent the past half an hour searching through a porn site looking for a girl who looked like you. And when he found no one who came close, Jon would have to admit that he exited the site, and very intentionally opened a message thread between he and you.
It didn't take long to find, many times you instead of typing longer messages, would send him voice notes. Knowing if Jon was at his desk at his station, he could just plug an earbud in to listen instead of stopping to read. The conversation he had found, was nothing even close to erotic. You were simply talking about something that funny you found even working from home now, did you still find ways to be annoyed each time your co workers reached out to you.
You were just too natural. Light and airy in tone, high pitched as you were much more quick in tone and not so formal for once. You were the most you in your voice notes in contrast to your typed messages, and yet despite there not being a single thing about the words you were saying being seductive, Jon felt his cock stir, unfairly hard he was and just as he was going to talk himself out of this idea, Ramsay had clearly prompted you to go again.
The second Jon heard your unsure voice on the other side of his wall, his free hand was already undoing his belt.
He loved your voice so much, the way you sounded so sweet when it was only the two of you. How from sure of yourself, how put together and stern you were all melted away into a gentle but kind shyness when with Jon. So few people ever heard you laugh, but Jon had so many voice notes of you laughing or giggling to yourself with whatever you were saying.
Jon could tune out what was on the other side of the wall, as long as he had your voice in his ear in whatever pathetic capacity he was allowed to have. He was also not in a rush, his hand slow as he moved his fist up and down his length, enjoying the building pleasure running through him at the sound of your voice. His hold a bit tighter when you would say his name. One hand kept scrolling, as soon as one series of voice notes as done, he searched for more.
Each new one, Jon stroked his cock a little faster, hand holding a little tighter. Breathing heavy, jaw clenched, Jon contained a grunt in his chest at the way you would say his name. Seven hells did Jon love the way his name sounded on your lips. Tighter more he gripped himself, running his hand up and down faster again.
It was why he kept headphones always charged. He couldn't dare have this interrupted now, and he couldn't listen to it out loud. Jon needed to cum to your voice, but he needed it to be for him and not for Ramsay. The desire ran through him, overwhelming Jons head. It was like an addiction, some men took shade of the evening to get themselves through life out of their minds. But Jons addiction was you, it always had been.
Truth be told, he hadn't even noticed a groan left him. Head falling back, his cock throbbed in his hand at the sound of your giggle. He was a doomed man, he replayed the sound again and again. Then another voice note, then the next and the next. Until he came along one you were not just giggling, but affectionately saying his name as well.
His insides burned, his hand running up and down his cock rough, fast, needing and desperate to cum with each stroke, which each sound of his name from your voice. How long had he been going, he wasn't even sure. All Jon knew was that his mind was consumed with thoughts of you so much his cock begged for you.
Hissing through gritted teeth, “Oh fuck-” Jon prayed to the old gods he had not said your name. He was lucky they answered, but he had come so dangerously close to groaning your name as he came, that he felt himself almost forming the first letters it. Cumming into his hand, Jon kept stroking until he had nothing left. And it seemed, Ramsay didn't either. It was dead silent next door.
Not sparing time, Jon tucked himself back in, tossing his phone and headphones onto his desk, before opening the door to his hall. Ramsay always left your door partially open, and as he peeked in, you were under your covers still bare, turned away from the door looking rather alone. Likely your sleeping self was wondering why your lover was not next to you to comfort you in your sleep. Jon closing it silently, and noting properly Ramsay was nowhere to be found.
His phone told him that it was two am. Jon knew he wouldn't get any sleep before needing to leave for the Wall. Ensuring the apartment was empty and sleeping, Jon didn't go to bed. No, sitting back at his desk, that time Jon spared no time in once more pulling his already throbbing cock out. Jon spared not a second in pretending he wasn't getting off thinking about you, wishing he would ever know what being inside you would be like.
What made things more complicated, was a message informing Jon he needn't come in that day, and thus he sat at the table that morning with Robb and Theon plagued with two thoughts. He had always tried to deny it, but this was the first time Jon had been so brazen with himself that he would stroke his cock thinking explicitly of you. Hoping that it wasn't about to change the way he acted with you, only he didn't get the chance to know right away.
You had been very late getting out of bed. Which was unusual, you were very disciplined about not sleeping so late. Your alarm goes off and your feet were out of bed within seconds. But it had reached the point you would have been up and getting settled into whatever project you had going on for the day, when you only had just emerged the first time.
They only heard it from the sounds of your door opening and closing, but it was Theons quick muttering in an angry confusion of, “What the fuck?” Did it have Jon and Robb look up.
You had been awake the whole time, you were however, hiding. For a good reason. As quick as both Robb and Theon were to stand up and call your name, Jon was already down the hall with a bit of a short tempered shout of your name as you ignored him. Grabbing your coat you didn't even wait to put it on before walking out the door.
Stepping out to the porch, Jon watched you swiftly rush to a car waiting for you. Recognizing inside the driver as Loras Tyrell, and in the backseat where you joined was his sister Margaery. You had shut the door without ever acknowledging him and clearly had told Loras to just go, taking off before Jon had a single answer from you.
You had left the house in a hurry, avoiding the guys all, because when they last saw you, it was with Ramsay who was clearly taking you to bed to fuck. But the next time they saw you as you rushed out the door, the guys had recognized the very distinct look of a bloody cut across your lip and a bruised eye.
It had been a longstanding joke within the Stark household that whomever built the family home, must have purposely Stark proofed everything in advance, protecting the house from the wolves tempers. Ned Stark was currently trying to quell his sons anger, Theon was sitting more firmly at the table trying to convince you to answer your phone. Robb was perched with his palms against the table on the other side seething with anger, while Jon leaned against the wall arms crossing his chest and truly looking nowhere but with his eyes so grey they appeared as black as they were angry and intense.
They had only just stopped slamming things about as Catelyn sent them into the dining room before they broke a plate with all their ruckus. Ned still was trying to be the calm voice of reason for the three of them despite his own feelings on the matter. He did not know the boy, Ramsay, but he knew his father Roose Bolton all too well. And that told him enough.
Emerging from where she had headed upstairs, Sansa returned looking at her phone confirming what their father had asked her to find out. “Margaery says she is with her and Loras, but she doesn't want to talk about what happened.”
Robb shook his head with a clench of his jaw, “We let him stay in our home, and he expects us to stand by as he beats-”
Ned cut him off, “Now we don't know he did that to her.”
Robb interrupting as soon as his father stopped talking, “She goes to bed with him fine, and she comes out the next morning alone with a black eye and cut lip? So, she what? Busted her face up all on her own by accident?”
Running his hand over his mouth, Ned sat down before both elbows propped up on the table to clasp together in thought. “I'm not saying that. I am saying that we should think before you three all go back out there and hunt the boy down.”
Nothing but a low rasp was Jons voice coming out in a restrained anger. “We don't need to hunt him down, we know where the Dreadfort is.” Ned gave a slight tilt of his head towards Jon, but he only clenched his jaw and turned to look back out the front window as if you'd appear in the driveway.
Trying to speculate why you would want to hide it, and Sansa looked up from her phone to say with a passing casualness. “It's obvious.” Raising an eyebrow at Jon with a look almost stern like a lecture, “She didn't want to deal with your reaction, if she's upset and you come lashing out of course she'd want time away.”
Jon pushed off the wall, face twisting into an anger as he raised his voice slightly. “Ramsay beat her and you're blaming me?”
Sansa only shrugged, a look almost smug like she had her point proven. “Maybe if you could control your temper.”
Once more Ned had to speak up interrupting what would inevitably turn into an argument should he let the two of them keep going. “Sansa, try and get Margaery to find out when she plans on coming home without making her feel pressured to come back now.” Robb tried arguing why shouldn't you come home now, and Ned once more shut it down. “She's upset, and so are all of you. It will not help anyone, give her space and she'll come back. In the meantime, don't do anything rash about Ramsay. Only until the gala is over, I'd rather not have the Boltons pull their support before we direct their funding.”
He knew it was a bit of a bias, not being anywhere close to the traditional Stark family business, Jon piped up with a dismissive mutter under his breath. “Of course, wouldn't want to scare them away after they've scared her all the way to Highgarden.”
“Jon.” Looking away in a bit of shame at the sternness in his fathers voice, Jon knew it was far more complicated then that but the agitation of not being allowed to do anything was getting to him. He just wanted to know what the hell happened.
You could tell she was surprised that you hadn't flinched once. The small swab of alcohol running along your lip and only your hands clenched slightly before relaxing again as she cleaned it. Voice soft but something attempting to be convincing against a difficult target, “Are you sure you don't want to tell us what he did?”
Inhaling slightly, you straightened your posture slightly as Margaery took that as her answer. Sighing of her own as her shoulders deflated, she glanced somewhat behind her, looking at Loras to implore him to help. But he only gestured towards you with an outstretched hand. “If she won't tell you what happened, what could I do differently?”
You had long gotten used to the manner in which the two siblings could joke about you as if you weren't in the room. “She's too used to my feminine wiles, maybe she needs a mans touch.”
Though, it slipped out before you had the sense to stop it. “If he closes his eyes and pretends I have grown a few more inches, maybe.” The glare was not meaning what so ever, not towards you. Despite the family you came from, it was still your Uncle Renly which Loras was seeing. He had long stopped wondering if such comments from you were serious. Attempting to change the subject, you tried dismissal as the first tactic with it. “It was only an accident.”
Tilting her head, she looked at you as if you were stupid. “If it were an accident, you wouldn't have messaged me first thing in the morning to come get you. Not caring about something is not the same as avoiding it all together.”
Truly, you did not wish to come here for a lecture. If you wanted that, you'd have stayed in the apartment. Margaerys eyes peeling away from you for a moment, taking little time to tap out a response to something as part of you wondered how she could possibly use the screen with nails that long. Turning back, you glanced at it with a knowing question.
“It's nothing.” Your expression fell flat as Loras's behind her grew into a smirk. Changing her tone to much more casual explaining, “Sansa was asking me if you're alright. Don't worry I told her you don't want to talk about what happened, just that you're staying with us for a little while.”
If anything had you close your eyes in defeat. That meant it had already spread as far as the main Stark house, by nightfall all of them would know. Loras at least had done the smart thing early, leaning his hand to the back seat telling you to give your phone over. Saying, “You can't be tempted to look at it if you don't have it on you.”
Had he not promptly turned it off, you'd no doubt be seeing it light up every few minutes with one of them either messaging you or calling you. By the time Arya finds out, no doubt eighty percent of such notifications would be from her. They could last without you for a few days. The Winterfell Harvest Gala was only three days away, by then hopefully things would have cooled down.
If not, then Margaery had at the least, assured you that your eye would be healed enough by then she could cover most of the bruise with makeup. For now though, you knew over the hours from when it happened, your eye had begun looking far worse as the bruising colours finally set in. You hadn't even known it was hard enough of an impact to leave a bruise until you woke up. Instantly, you had messaged Margaery asking if she and Loras could come get you.
Correctly assuming the second the guys saw it, they would get angry and that was exactly what happened. You thought you had a better chance of not being seen, thinking if it were only Robb and Theon, then maybe you could sneak from the door when they were near their rooms getting ready to leave, but then you realized Jon was still home for whatever reason.
That was when you added an additional message saying to just reply here when they arrived, and you'd come out to them, not wanting more of a scene to be made. The second you realized Theon saw you, you snatched your coat and walked out the front door. Of course Jon was the most angry, he and Ramsay hated each other. But you didn't want to deal with that after what happened.
You had been in their kitchen, assisting their ever immaculate and tart tongued grandmother Olenna with the baking. Whomever the highest of family names attending the Harvest Gala were, it was a tradition that the Starks provided the main feast and the subsequent families would provide a dessert unique to their region.
The whole kitchen smelled of a mixture of baking apples and fresh lemons, it was peaceful. For as quick on the draw as Olenna Tyrell was, she knew when to get down to business and your quietness only meant that you were a diligent worker to make up for the lack of conversation. Which she was fine, with, as long as she could pull a small smile from you now and again she could affirm you hadn't been knocked around that badly.
Oh she took it seriously, but she also did not coddle you. Which was what you wanted. “It won't make you feel better, but it will distract you long enough you may finally rid yourself of that sulking expression.”
You almost went to protest you made such a look, but her eyes shined in an amusement for you to prove her point. Huffing out what may have been a hint of a smile, you returned to the tasks she had delegated you towards. “So why is it your grandchildren get out of doing any of this?”
Olenna never failed to be as blunt as she was quick. “Those two out there are talented at many things, but baking certainly is not one of them. At least you know how to make something look attractive more then just the reflection in the mirror.” All said with a love you knew she held, the Tyrells never ones to withhold a jest at the others expense.
Decorating the very top of the small surface you had to work with, you heard the front door open as you did her voice accompanied by Maragery. You knew she was coming, and if you had any stroke of luck it was that there was one person in that family who wasn't going to hound you about it, it was Sansa.
You could tell her eyes sought you out the moment she walked into the kitchen, trying to keep whatever reaction to your not yet healed eye to herself. Though, it was easy as you without much thought on any other matters, grabbed one of the smaller pieces and turned towards her. “Perfect, I need you to tell me if it's missing something.”
Grabbing the small lemon cake from you, her face twisted from a purposeful look of thought to an easy enjoyment and a hum of satisfaction. Barley managing to her herself swallow the pastry, boasting with genuity. “That's delicious, do you make these often?”
Shaking your head, you turned back to carefully pipe the tops of the full sized ones into each matching design. “Not really. Usually my family brings something seafood in origin, so sweet isn't my normal handling.”
Normally she would have been over here for Margaery, but as she sat down at the island counter in the middle of the kitchen, you suspected she came with not so hidden intentions. “Everyone was worried about you yesterday morning.”
Saving grace, Olenna spoke up from her own work on the mixture going around the apple fillings. “Yes, yes, one muddied up face and the Starks send themselves into a pack formation.” Trying to protest, Sansa was as used to the woman as you were by now. “We needn't beat around the bush, my dear. Her brute of a boyfriend knocks her around, and every wolf within a thousand mile radius gets sent on a hunting spree. If they had reason to be worried, she wouldn't be here suggesting to bake lemon cakes simply because she knew you loved them and were coming over.”
Head raising just the slightest, you'd have rather wished that she didn't rat you out so quickly, but you only tilted your head in no denial when Sansa looked at you brightly. “Don't tell the others, I have a badly tarnished image to maintain.”
Margaery walked into the room, her light voice floating about as did she move with her usual, yet annoying level of grace. “Only your hypothetical image. I'll have that face prettied up for the Gala like none could guess.” Her own hands toying with the bright orange hair loose down Sansas back, did she also lean in to mock whisper. “Aren't I so good at hiding when someone marks up a girls pretty skin?”
A fluster came about Sansa pulling away as you and Margaery both laughed at her reaction. Sharing a look with the later, before raising your eyebrows to the former. “You're lucky I'm good at keeping secrets.”
Looking between all of those in the room she tried to deny it once more, “It isn't like that-”
“So you didn't change your foundation to a new brand, because it was easier at hiding when this one,” Pointing the now empty piping nozzle towards Margaery, “Gets a little bit too carried away in her spare time?” Both girls pretend to be annoyed with one another, but there was little weight behind it.
Margaery was likely the only person who Sansa couldn't stay mad or annoyed at. Almost drifting your mind away, considering the simple fact that you however, were the one who got everyone angry with you. A talent of yours.
You didn't want to think about it, it was a completely different situation then that.
Nothing in common, you felt so much more at your wits end here, the opposite of relaxed as Margaery and Sansa fussed about you. Their touch felt yanking at trying to decide how to this time dress up their new doll, when all you could recall was the last time anyone did something like this for you was before you threw that beautiful dress into the box to donate when Ramsay cancelled your reservation a second time.
You were focused on trying to paint up your eyes, while Jon stood behind you. You had asked if he would help put your hair in a braid, just a simple one until you could decide what you wanted to do, when he took over. Warm against your back, Jon begun carefully and expertly moving the strands around into a braid far more fancy then you could have ever accomplished yourself. Rasping low that braids suited you, whereas here both girls were arguing you should keep it down.
“Make him feel guilty. Show off a little.” You wanted to toss away the dress they handed you, but Margaery grabbed you and walked you to step behind her privacy screen to try it on. “You want Ramsay to realize what he may be missing out on if he keeps acting like this.”
Not being able to see her, you picked up the doubt in Sansas tone as she perched herself on the edge of Margaerys bed. “Are you sure that's the right approach? It may look like she's trying to impress other men.”
The dress itself was fine, but it showed off so much in terms of your back, arms, waist, too much. “That's exactly what we want. He needs to chase her a little, show why he's better then other men, give her a reason to stay other then familiarity.” Suddenly turning with a small shout, “Are you done yet?”
Sighing out, you shook your head without caring they could not see. “Do you have something a little less..revealing?” Sansa laughed, reminding you whose closet you were borrowing from. A deep sigh came out, “Try.”
The next two were also a no. “The Gala is tomorrow, you can't say no to everything.”
Cutting back quickly, “I can if I don't go.”
Sansa spoke before Margaery could once again. “If you don't go, you know my brothers will come and drag you home themselves.” Clearly the two shared a look as she explained quieter, “Shocked they haven't already.”
Oh you were even less sure about this one. The both of them dragging you out to stand before the full mirror in the room, one at each side somewhat behind you the doubt was radiating from your face. “You don't think it's too-” Shutting you down, Margaery only grasped at your hair once more, fiddling with it as she thought through what she wanted to do to match.
Still, her feeling and touch was nowhere near as comforting as Jons.
It was the same every year, but this year it bothered him more. The fact that you would sit up with those of the Baratheon family, occupied around by those who lived around Kings Landing. You had arrived with the Tyrells, but dutifully took your place by your family when Jon wished you would at least look over to him once. Wounds like that do not heal so easily, but it appeared as if there was no bruise around your eye at all.
You should've been allowed to walk in without covering it up, force everyone to see what a man like Ramsay does to his partner. Luckily, Jons morose attitude was easily hidden as well, but by the simple make up of that his Uncle Benjen beside him was equally as unhappy. But they suffered there together, both arriving in a variation of their attire with the Nights Watch, as if to separate themselves from those around.
Some laughs were found between the two of them. Jon knew Ghost was not supposed to be in the banquet hall, but as his name, no one noticed the direwolf laying by Jons feet unseen under the table. Without much thought even, in one moment sat by him a whole roast chicken, the next Jon had flipped a knife up, stabbing it in the meat and depositing it under the table to the very happy Ghost, as Jon continued like he hadn't done anything. Benjen tried not to laugh into the beer in his mug, and he too could see Jon failing to hide his own smirk as he brought his own up to his lips.
Every family who mattered was in attendance in the banquet hall, and outside the muffles of music and laughter where the thousands of other attendees shared the boasts of their own harvest. Thousands of years ago it was a tradition between those only of noble birth, to celebrate the Northern harvest together but the longer the years passed and more of community being formed within the lands less separated by monarchy, it had turned into something much more.
There were always two which switched, the Harvest Gala always took place in the North, hosted in the vast lands of Winterfell always by the Starks. The other was a much more specific celebration taking place in the capitol of Kings Landing.
Jon had never attended it, most Northerners didn't as most never even would go south of Moat Cailin. Close by his fathers seat, Jon could see the ever elusive Howland Reed. An old friend from worse days and the man only ever came out of his home in Greywater Watch for Ned's sake. His two children, Meera and Jojen sat next to each other as they would gesture across the way to Bran.
Even from where Jon was sitting further away, he amusingly could see Sansa desperately trying not to look over to the Tyrells, and then down to her lap only to recall father had forced them all to leave their phones in the main house. It had taken some years for her to settle, her attitude high strung and dismissively childish for many years all coming into a clarity the day she had sat down with their father and her mother. Robb and Jon being the eldest naturally being there too, as she had apologized for her behaviour.
It was much more easy to forgive her when her apology was followed with the admission that she and the Tyrell girl were seeing one another. Now that she had it out in the open, it was easier for the rest of them to move passed the rough years. But it also meant, that he knew for a fact Sansa had spent some time with you in the days previous.
Wanting to ask her about how you were, how your eye looked, if the cut across your bottom lip was indeed healed or if it was simply the red shade painting your mouth hiding it. He knew both his sister and Margaery must have had a hand in choosing how to dress you for the event.
Trying not to consider that the dress you were wearing clearly was borrowed and not your size, as certain places where your curves stood out so beautifully to him looked that much more alluring then it would on the rather small Tyrell. He knew for a fact you must have been embarrassed beyond anything walking in the main doors wearing something showing that much. It draped along your shoulders like a fine silk and down your back scooping low enough a few less inches of fabric and your hips would have been showing next. You kept a darker shall wrapped around you though, still not at all comfortable with how much the dress emphasized your breasts.
The amount of make up was their choice too, he knew that. The bold shade of red staining your lips as if meant to tempt men to ruin, it was not a choice you'd do on your own. It was as if you had been dressed to catch one's eye and as Jons flew across the hall a pair of pale blue ones had certainly been trapped in that net.
Ramsay had no right to look at you that way after what he did, Jon thought. He never gave you respect as it was, and this was something else. But Jons own watchful eye also caught what no one else was seeing as well. How every now and again, Ramsay would turn to the small dark haired girl next to him and the two would blatantly flirt and touch.
Were it a glass Jon was holding and not a much more sturdy made mug, it would've shattered from the force Jons hand was tightening around the grip. How often did Ramsay leave you after fucking you, to sneak off to whomever this girls bed was? How long had he been using you as a public shield to then sleep around behind your back?
Once more his eyes caught yours not looking at anyone. Sometimes sharing half baked smiles or a fake huff of laughter with your cousin Myrcella, but little else. You hardly touched your food, and the only other person in your families sitting who was out beating you in the amount of wine you were drinking, was your uncle Robert.
You had showed up trying to look as if everything was fine, but Jon knew the amount you were drinking was telling him you were anything but. Whatever dessert was sat in front of you as the night progressed too was passed by. Already forming a plan in his head, the moment the meal would end, Jon needed to make his way over to you. He needed to apologize before you were too drunk to be able to fairly understand it.
He was so angry when he had seen what Ramsay did, but he knew it was wrong to let that anger out around you. You deserved better then that, but he was beginning to sense you wouldn't be anywhere near sober enough to understand any apology at this rate. And the more you drank, the less he noticed Ramsay did.
Jon had too, but he stopped because he hadn't wanted to let any intoxicated emotions get the better of him about you. He suspected however, Ramsay had stopped, in order to gain back any sobriety he lost, so that he held all the power when he'd inevitably approach you. He would take advantage of your drunk state to weasel his way back into having you forgive him. Men like Ramsay, like Karl Tanner, they took advantage of girls like you.
Quiet and not confrontational, insecure and quiet so manipulating you into staying with them, and relying on them was easier. It was why Jon said he'd make sure you owned your own things once leaving Tanners house. He wanted to help you, but he didn't want you to rely on him. That was what Tanner did, moved you away from everyone who cared and made you rely on him for everything.
How long, Jon thought, would it take for Ramsay to convince you to leave the apartment and move in with him? Keep you away from the rest of them, and no doubt whisper things in your uncertain ear about Jon to drive a wedge between you. Tanner tried doing it to you about Jon as well, but it wasn't so personal. He spoke lies as such about anyone who wasn't himself. Not even Rast nor Locke, cravens that they were, were immune to that.
But Ramsay knew. Jon knew that Ramsay was fully aware of what Jon felt for you. It was why he loved dangling you in front of him, why he fucked you just loud enough to make Jon lose his mind at what he wasn't the one getting. Cancelled plans you were looking forward too, only ever did just enough with you to convince you to let him fuck you, and Ramsay had the audacity to touch and flirt with other women in the same bloody room as you, knowing you were too nervous to look at him.
Jon would rather you never date, then watch you continue to date men who saw your worth as nothing but something to shove their cocks in. You were so much more then that, but they had convinced you otherwise. Why else would you stay with a man who made you that upset so often normally, because you had figured it was all you deserved.
He didn't want to sit there and pretend he was a selfless man, Jon had the shame of knowing three times in one night he had gotten off to you before all this happened. You were his best friend and in more ways then romantic did he love you, but Jon still knew he couldn't lie to himself about the way he looked and thought about you. All you'd see is your best friend trying to take advantage of your weaknesses to get you into his bed.
The crowd was immense as you all stood. People everywhere you turned and your quiet self had gotten lost and forgotten in the sea of social waves passing you by. You hated this dress, you hated how much makeup was painted on your face, you hated having to play nice when all you wanted to do was find a bed to cry in for how much you let your life turn into this.
The air was warm, too warm as so many bodies took up the space in the room and spoke with their warm breath increasing. How did no one else notice the heat? How hard it was becoming to breath in such a heavy fog. Heart racing more as you felt your lungs tighten, you needed to walk away. Find a corridor mostly empty and walk until there was an alcove isolated to collapse against.
Nothing of what you drank told you if you were sober, you couldn't sense it underneath the racing in your head which flooded your nerves. You hadn't wanted to come, you hadn't wished to face how you were ruining your second chance at having a partner all for the same repeating reason. Whatever rationale you could lie to yourself with this time, did not exist when it was Karl Tanner in the role of Ramsay.
You had said it, and couldn't take it back. Karl didn't say what had happened, he didn't care about any of you involved once Jon drove you away, but Ramsay would. If you couldn't fix things with Ramsay he would use it against you, and who knows how many people would abandon you after that comes out?
You were pathetic, you always were. He's never wanted you, he still doesn't and yet you were broaching two separate relationships you've ruined over someone who does not want you. As your head leaned against whatever surface you found yourself at, you felt the world spin even as you stood still against a stone support.
“Now tell me, love, who did you dress like such a whore for?” Opening your eyes, the world still spun while still as a statue as you looked at Ramsay. Standing before you with a narrowed expression you had seen in the seconds between what happened that night, and how hard he had slapped you with the rough back of his hand. “Speak up now. Did you let the Tyrells slut you up to try and beg for me back, or did you just want to tempt any man in here that you were walking around with a sign hanging against you, that you'd spread your legs for the first one who walked up to you with a cock?”
Shaking your head, your words slurred as they were forced you beyond the heart pounding stammer overtaking with your nerves. “You- you always wanted me to dress like this.. I was, I'm only trying to listen to what you told me..”
The chuckle was fake, but you were far too drunk to also pick up the more sinister echo which matched behind his eyes as he invaded your space. Grasping rough at your jaw he didn't let you flinch away too much from his hissing. “Such a poor memory, do you need me to repeat what I actually told you? That if I'm going to fuck you, you may as well start dressing like someone who my cock would actually get hard for.”
You were so stupid. He was always going to be mad at you. You couldn't imagine how angry he'd have been were he to have actually taken you to that restaurant in Torrhens Square. He'd have asked where you got that long, white dress, why it covered so much of your skin, and why you disobeyed him when he had told you to go to that specific store to buy the short, red one in the first place.
Trying to stammer out, “I- I'm sorry..” He just tilted your jaw up to force your eyes up at his darker ones now trailing down your frame. You read the words, what he wanted. He had taught you by now, but you shook your head as something unsettled bubbled in your chest. “Ramsay, there's other people-”
“Did I ask about other people?” Saying no, you tried to insist on finding an empty room but he leaned in more. “Did I say I was going to do this in private? You're lucky I don't leave you naked and covered in me, here so everyone can see what a real whore does in the dark.”
As drunk as you felt, you were still in your head enough to feel utterly humiliated. If you were caught now, you wouldn't ever be able to look the Starks in the eye. You'd just move out on the spot and return to Dragonstone, hide away from the world on your grim, dark girlhood home. Too slowly you tried to pull one of the silky sleeves down your shoulder but he took over, the fabric ripping as you tried to argue, “Ramsay, please this is Margaerys-”
Shoving your legs apart, he only raised an eyebrow. “So I know who to blame for turning my girlfriend into a walking cunt begging to be filled.”
No argument came against that one, you had none. Your mind was nowhere near sober enough to wonder if he was wrong. You just accepted it. You almost ruined this relationship because you couldn't keep your mouth shut in the worst moment, so it was your duty to let Ramsay punish you in whatever ways you always dreaded. The mood he was in, you doubted he would even care wasting a single second getting you even slightly wet.
When he used sex as a punishment, you weren't meant to enjoy it. That was how it worked.
It took you longer then normal to realize why he didn't do anything. Suddenly moving away from you, your slow mind hardly caught up to the fact that there were now three large figures slamming Ramsay against the wall. Trying to protest, “Wait- stop, he didn't do anything.”
It wasn't until one of them spoke did the blur in you vision focus enough to see a teeth grittingly angry Robb was on Ramsays left, now turning back towards you, as Theon took space up on Ramsays other side. Not recognizing until Robb was already talking, that Jon was in Ramsays face, keeping him pinned to the wall with only one hand. “Didn't do anything?” Robb calling your name with a confused anger, “Did you not hear a word he was saying to you?”
Theon piped up with anger clear of his own, “Or how he busted your face?”
Swallowing, you felt lightheaded and confused more then any of them. “I-” A slightly stumble trying to stand up straighter as if they hadn't already seen how drunk you were. “That was an accident, he didn't do anything.”
Ramsay was quick on the draw making intentional mocking eye contact with Jon, “See, bastard? I didn't do a thing. Our girl here is just a tad too slutty for her own good, needs a stern hand to put her in her place, doesn't she?”
The guys all started to speak, but you felt your eyes sting with tears. Shaking your head at him not to say it, but Jon captured his attention. Voice so low and rough it was but a husk teetering with something burning in rage. “Don't talk about her like you care about her.”
He smirked, as you felt your stomach twist. “Oh I care deeply, bastard. It's why I was just so angry, you see. I take her to bed, show her my love and in return all she does is-”
“Ramsay, please.”
You tried pleading with him not to, but it was too late, as soon as he started to speak it was too late to keep it contained. “Was that so hard? You remember my name here, but not when I'm inside you?” He had turned to make eye contact with Jon, nothing but a smugness in letting it fall free. “Imagine how much it ruined the mood, when I'm fucking her nice and rough and suddenly, more desperate then I've ever heard her ask for it, does she beg your name before she cums.”
But whoever was the first out of the three of them to look back to you in surprise, you didn't know. You had taken off so suddenly and so fast that none of them knew where you went. As it turned out, utter humiliation sobered a girl up, right quick.
You weren't sure the last time you had been here, likely too many years to be worth counting back to, but it was just as beautiful as you remembered. The white bark standing out against red leaves with a face carved into it as if watching over the North it stood within. Back against it as you used your shall to sit on, to try and not muddy up Margaerys dress, despite looking too many times at the no doubt expensive silk now ripped along your shoulder.
Long enough it kept your legs from the cold as you pulled your knees to your chest, forearms resting over them as you had long since stopped caring about the stain of tears on your cheeks. You were such an idiot. You had let your feelings for Jon ruin two relationships, and now he and likely everyone else knew about it.
What was more pathetic of a revelation then your best friend calling your name when having sex with their boyfriend, you weren't sure.
Enough time had passed to which your drunken fog begun to lift and a stressing headache wormed its way in to keep you sitting in the cold air hoping you could find the courage to get up. You had your phone, that was it. Maybe it would be enough, perhaps if you could pull yourself together long enough you'd be able to convince your father to let you stay on Dragonstone until you figured out what to do next with your life.
As long as you could find someone who could drive you to White Harbour, your father could send someone to come bring you the rest of the way. What other choice did you leave yourself?
Robb and Theon would think you were pathetic, Jon wouldn't want you anywhere near him after this, and thus your presence in the Starks home no longer was welcome. You hadn't called Jon wishing he'd come get you that day with Karl because of anything like that, you had done it on instinct. He was your best friend, he was the only one you wanted to come get you but now it must feel as if you were a manipulative snake.
By the time you heard footsteps, you almost flinched to get up and apologize for being here, but it was in fact the rumble of Ned Stark coming to ease you from fleeing. “It's alright, no ones asking you to leave.” Muttering quietly why he assumed that was what you were planning, he without any care sat down next to you on the rock keeping elevated enough that a hand wrapped around your back and sat soothingly on your upper arm. “So you're telling me you weren't sitting here worried you were going to have to leave here and go back home?”
Looking away somewhat ashamed, your arms crossed more over the top of your knee. An uninspiring mutter, “I presume you know what happened.” Only a glance slightly to the side showed you his nod, and your head dropped into your arms. “Suppose everyone in the North knows by now.”
However, the man only chuckled. “Far from. I heard what happened, but put an end to any scene they were about to make before most noticed anything happened. No need to make a spectacle out of you after everything you've been through.”
Ned did not hear the first try, so you lifted your head and repeated your words as new tears gently fell once more. “I'm sorry, truly I am. I wasn't trying to ruin anything or manipulate anyone.” Asking where you had gotten that idea, you paused. Not yet clear enough from all the wine could you come up with but a shrug of a shoulder. “None of it was on purpose. It just happened. First with Karl, now with Ramsay. Two relationships I ruined by saying something I didn't even realize I had said until it was all over anyways.”
You were glad it was Ned Stark listening to this, not sure your own father would dare care to listen to anything even remotely close to a sexual topic like this, but he listened with the care he gave all his children, but to you. “None of us can control how we feel, sweet girl.”
The shrug and nod you gave didn't really indicate much, but he understood in your state that was all you could offer. The quiet of the night, this place far enough from the crowd not even the muffled nightlife of the gala could be heard. Only in that quiet did you say it, “You can tell him I'll move out.” Humming in question, you clarified. “Jon, I'm sure hes mad at me. Likely doesn't want to speak to me after that, you can tell him I'll move out. He bought a lot of my stuff, I won't take it with me he can sell it or whatever he wants. It was his money.”
Ned didn't say anything for a moment, and you had almost took it as a defeated acceptance that he would indeed deliver your last message to your best friend. But he didn't stay quiet, he only spoke in a quiet tone, pulling you closer to his side running his hand up and down your cold arm. “Tell me, if my son was angry with you, why when I last saw him, was he outside the hall worried sick that you had taken off drunk as you were.”
You struggled to envision it, but maybe it was the aforementioned drunkenness impeding your intelligence more then usual. “Because he's just a good person. Simple. Always has been, even now when I don't deserve it.”
It seemed whatever he had gleaned from such a comment had cemented an idea in his head. “Here's what we're going to do. We're going to get up, bring you back to the apartment. The boys are all busy right now hosting in my absence so you'll have it to yourself. We'll get you cleaned up and you won't worry about what comes next until you've slept the rest of this off.”
Truthfully, you were too tired should any argument have ever even existed within you.
Coming back down to the winding Gala late into the night, Jon noticed his father gesturing for him to come over to speak alone. Your name coming instantly out of his mouth, his father swiftly placated such worry. “She's alright. I brought her back up to the apartment to sleep tonight off.” Nodding, Jon stood tense as anything unsure as to how to breach the subject or if he should when his father did it first for him. “Whatever you're going to say to her Jon, go easy. She's upset and she's convinced herself you're mad enough at her she should move out.”
Face twisting in a mix of anger he could not fix from the night and a worry that everyone around you had let you get so intoxicated you spun a story such as that about him in your fears. “Did you tell her about-”
“I think she would take it better coming from you.” The two men stood for another quiet moment when he stepped towards him. A hand resting on his shoulder with a concern Jon knew was for both parties, himself and you. “And Jon, don't ambush her right away.”
Both nodded, his father leaving Jon to think. He knew he was right, he couldn't lay all his cards out on the table yet. Between Karl and Ramsay, they had done a number on your self worth. You'd jump in an instant to what Jon wished to say, if you thought it was a way to make it better. He needed it, only if you still wanted it once you felt safe in your own home again.
Strange, you had no dream and yet you were lulled into the world of the wake with something gentle along your hair. Not realizing until your eyes fluttered open that the morning sun was shining through your window. Jon was sat on your bed facing you, a hand running soothingly along your now loose hair.
Were your brain not about to explode from pain, you might have jumped up to apologize right away. But in your state, Jon continued to run his hands through the strands of your hair as he rasped quietly and comfortingly. “You're lucky to be alive. If I let Ghost come in here last night like he wanted too, he'd have cuddled himself into your side so much you'd have suffocated.”
The laugh was weak as you sat up, Jon not moving his hand from you as he tucked some of your hair behind your ear to more then cup your cheek and jaw. Your eyes heavy as you found a more shredded voice. “I could imagine worst ways to go.”
His grey eyes were as wide, bright and yet soft as ever. As if the night before was not an utter catastrophe you had brought upon your friendship, but the ship was steady on the water, you dared not yet rock the boat, listening to him with a warmth at his low rasp deep this early in your time awake. “You scared me last night, darling. Running off like that.”
Neither of you noticed how easily he slipped back into calling you that, or how you hadn't taken notice in any negative manner whatsoever. Sitting more against the headboard behind you, you were glad Ned Stark had insisted you wear something actually comfortable to bed instead of the ripped reminder of a terrible night. Your insides were warm as much as your front so close to Jon was warm from the proximity alone. “I'm the sorry one. About everything. Getting drunk, causing a scene..and..for-”
Mercy was what Jon showed you, but for why you couldn't put together. “You didn't do anything wrong. Ramsay's been barred from attending any Northern run event, and he's not allowed within two hundred miles of you.” Your brows narrowed in confusion, Jon giving you a gentle laugh in return, still toying innocently with your hair. “My father works fast when he's mad. I didn't think anyone could've been more mad at Ramsay last night then me, but he came back after bringing you home and went right to your Uncle to have a restraining order filed.” Asking why, Jon almost shook his head in a manner that was only amused by you. “You're like a daughter to my father, if he wouldn't let someone treat Arya or Sansa like that, he wasn't going to stand by and let Ramsay do it to you.”
Nodding, it felt strange that you weren't upset by it. Perhaps it was too early to feel it, but much was hard to care about when Jon was this warm and looking at you with such wide grey eyes pouring into your heart and soul as if he belonged there. “Jon..I really am sorry..”
But he only laughed a little, sliding his hand behind your head to pull you forward, Jon leaned enough to press his lips to your forehead. Murmuring against it, “Don't take off like that again, and you have no reason to be. Now come on,” Prompting you to slowly begin standing up, Jon rested a supporting hand at your lower back, pressing your unsteady self to his side enough he could rasp in your ear. “I'll make you something you can actually stomach.”
You didn't understand why Jon was making it so easy. For days now, things had been much like it had been before Ramsay ever entered the picture. Your days were normal, settled back into working without distractions and it all seemed as if the apartment was smoothly running.
Part of you wondered why it felt though, as if they were all waiting for something. You could only hope that it was not for you to fall off once more, you knew thus far your record had not been on your side but you hoped they had more faith then next to none. You wanted to start over this time, you were given that proper chance and you didn't want to waste it no matter what people were or were not presuming about you.
It seemed the restraining order was applied to those speaking of him as well. Margaery had not brought up anything, and when you had gone over to her house to profusely apologize over the dress she only wrapped an arm around your waist to drag you in, dismissing, “I have others.”
Trying not to fear this all had made you look as weak as you felt, but for how close you came to ruining things, Jon was the one easing that fear away. He was the only one who you didn't feel as if were watching and waiting for something you didn't understand, he treated you as the same as you two had been in your best of times. Before Ramsay Bolton, before Karl Tanner.
Things were normal enough between you that you, he and Ghost all went on a longer hike through the wolfswood for the first time in well over a year together. The warmer weather this time around was not quite what many would call warm in the south, considering heavier long sleeves were still the most necessary outerwear at the minimum, but it was not yet cold enough that spending so many hours outside wasn't preferable to ones health.
Small rolling hills led to cliff sides where the main river poured out in small divets of pooled lakes like a small waterfall, hardly anything for one who grew up on an island, but for here it was the most amount of a body of water you could get too within a days walk. Perhaps before you'd have worried about the quiet, but no longer did it feel stifling or on purpose.
Jon used to be the one person you could be your more naturally quiet self around and have it not be uncomfortable, he was the same way. The less talkative of the group of you, but together that silence was never filled only because the quiet as awkward. Jon would instinctively grab your hand to help hoist you up a steeper climb and push you forward with a hand on your lower back without sharing a single word and neither of you thought twice again.
Or how when you three had returned, Jon once again gently guided you to your shared bathroom first, quiet in your ear as it was late enough Robb and Theon were asleep. “You shower first, I'll get something started.” And without any more question, when you emerged, you took over what he had been doing and by the time his shower was done you both had a very late meal but in the comfortable presence of only you two.
For a while it went on as such, but you couldn't help those two same thoughts. Was everyone really just waiting for you to combust once more, and more importantly to you, why Jon hadn't even come close to bringing up what happened.
It went completely unspoken, but you didn't know why. Your friendship felt as strong as ever, but for what reason? You had completely violated his trust and it was as if he would rather forget, but it didn't work that way. He would've known you weren't to forget so easily, why was he? Were you lingering once more on the edges of feelings which Jon wished to pretend he never learned about? If so, why was he even more gentle and affectionate then before?
None of it made sense in your head, but you truly did not want to ruin things, not now. Not after being given another chance to keep him in your life. So you stayed quiet, didn't speak a word of it for as long as you could withhold the anxiety and nerves festering from your brain into entering your heart.
It was one evening, you both looked so much like you did as teenagers, sitting back against his bed, both too lazy to bother moving things around his room for a better set up, so your laptop was dragged in his room instead to watch something on there. Later into the night, the apartment was settled and only you two remained awake, but the mixture was dangerous for your subconscious.
His room always cozy and warm, and so was Jon naturally heated in his blood to never feel cold around and the dark from only a single lamp on his desk other then the screen, it all lulled you into relaxing a little too instinctively. You without realizing, allowed your head to rest on his shoulder, but Jon without asking you to move, stiffening up uncomfortably, or even hesitating, adjusted his position in order to wrap his arm behind you. Resting at your waist and tugging you firmly into his side as that same hand now ran lightly up and down your waist to hip and back.
Your- his shirt on you, rising slightly each time which his hand kept brushing your bare skin sending silent shivers along the surface. More and more did the film fade away, until you found a sleep more warm and soothing then you had in weeks.
Jon was caught between the concepts. Slowly shifting things as to not disturb you too much, Jon moved everything but the two of you off his bed, before turning to watch you carefully. The last time you fell asleep in his bed, it was in far more innocent times then what ran unspoken between you both now. He didn't want you to feel pressured, but Jon knew you were feeling the air between you different, and he did not wish to return to when it felt otherwise.
It was heavy and electric, but neither of you were such forward seducers to act upon it so brazenly. But, Jon still knew such feelings were there. So, instead of gently carrying you to your room and tucking you into your bed, Jon made a risky choice. Slowly helping you lay down on your side, Jon ran a hand over the hair at the side of your head, ensuring you hadn't stirred awake. Across the room, Jon turned his light off, and opening his curtains a slight bit to let some of the moonlight guide his vision.
On one end by the foot of the bed, the slumbering white ball of fur called Ghost slept soundly as you did, as if failing his guard duty to keep you safe laying only feet from him. But as Jon carefully climbed back onto his bed, he laid on his side to face you.
He watched at first, only watched. The peace in your face there was unlike the past years as tormenting figures appeared in and out of your life. Never did Jon presume his place, he was your best friend and he refused to act as if that made him obligated to your feelings. But it wasn't the same now, you had been keeping your own locked up just as, if not more tightly away from the world. Only coming out twice.
Jon knew now that was what Tanner was trying to tell him that day. That started the fight the morning he came to get you. You had spoken Jons name in the heat of the encounter, and then did it once more months later with Ramsay. He didn't want you to think you should stay here with him, but Jon also refused to allow you to push this all away in favour of lessening your value, to running to the next horrid man.
For now, as Jons hand ran up and down your arm, did you shift closer, and he spared no time in pulling your front into his chest. Meekly, your slumbering hands reached up, grabbing the edges of his shirt as if begging him to keep you there. And as he found a home to sleep in your hair and you in his torso, only quiet was found.
If you had one thing you needed to accomplish that day, it was to ask. You had to, even if you didn't like the answer, it was no longer appropriate to hide such wonders when he knew what you had done. But, part of you wished he wouldn't make it so difficult to be blunt about it. You had clearly fallen asleep watching the movie, and woken up in his warm, gentle embrace tucked into his chest. It felt right, and it also meant it felt unfair.
Jon should only show you such affection if he understood your mind had not moved on yet, if he wished to pull away then that was how it would have to be, but hiding your worry about it was not conducive to your dynamic anymore. But gods he made it so hard to get to it. Not even realizing you weren't alone in the waking world, Jon rasped in your ear so thick from the early morning it was just a heavy husk of a Northern accent slurring together. “Too early to think this much, darling.”
You breathed out a small smile, almost swearing you could feel him smile in your hair in return. Hardly loud enough to be heard by any not directly as close as Jon, you whispered back not yet yelling go of your fingertips toying with his shirt. “Not for how long I've been awake.” Oh that deep chuckle so close to your ear was deathly.
One of his hands around your hip and waist shifted up to run smoothing over your hair, slightly raking through the strands to pull a relaxing in your muscles against him. “Alright, why don't you wake me up by telling me what's going on inside here.” This thumb leaving it's touch to lightly tap at your head as if to indicate what he meant.
You had told yourself, ask it today. It came out as light, strained and breathless as if felt. “Are you never going to bring up what I did?” Instead of the hesitation you feared and worried, instead came the same soothing nature as he pulled you a bit closer.
Taking his own time to answer without making you worry of the passing moments to do so. “You mean when you called my name out in bed with Ramsay, or when you did the same thing with Tanner?” Your frozen nature must have given your shock away. “Wasn't difficult to put together once I knew the truth.”
Your voice muffled by his torso, but you were almost emotional at how grateful you felt he hadn't yet made you leave his warm comfort. “Aren't you mad?” Asking for what, you did not sound any more confident. “I violated your trust. Twice. Then hid it from you and lied about it.”
Once more his chuckle was utterly unfair, and his voice rasped so deep as his hands almost held you a bit tighter if you weren't imagining things. “Would you like to know what I was doing when you called my name out with Ramsay?” Not a clue how blind sighted you were about to feel, you shook your head before noticing for certain that time he held you tighter. “I was scrolling through all those voice notes you send to me, while my other hand was around my cock.”
Blood within you flooded with something warm like a burn, and only as you let a shaking breath out did Jon begun to somewhat ran his hand back to the side of your head, thumb much more firmly tilting you to suddenly meet his eyes, dark normally in colour but now the grey appeared closer to sinking into a black. “Why?”
Far too handsome for his own good when he laughed deeply, knowing your breath hitched as he leaned forward. Only to nudge your nose with his, letting his trace down yours. It seemed if your question was to be honest, he'd let his be as well. “Because I wanted to have you in my bed, instead of hearing you in yours with another man.”
Lips parting slightly, your eyes were wide trying to contain how both confusing yet unrealistic that sounded so early. And yet there was not a shred of lies or doubt within his gaze, only something far too dark yet affectionate that you wished to melt into. “But..you- why not say anything before I even met Ramsay..”
Thumb running firmly over your cheek, Jon had yet to pull away from you the rest of the way. Your mind trying to tell you otherwise, that you were imagining any other feeling. Jon though, was not you, and did not care about hiding it seemed now that the topic had been broached. “You finally had the courage to leave Tanner, I wasn't going to ambush you about my feelings when you needed someone to just be there for you. No matter how much I wanted you, still want you.”
Shifting you both every so sightly, Jon moved so you lay more on your back, and he partially still on his side, but somewhat hovered over you. Now looking at you with those bright eyes, curls all still pulled back from the night before. The hand on you cheek turned much more selfish in not pulling away from where it roamed. Tucking some of your hair behind your ear, before once more nudging your nose with his almost as it to tempt you with how close his lips would be at such a motion.
It felt like such an utterly girlish and child like question to ask, “Would all you want it to be is just..sex?”
Jons chuckle once more was deep, laced with something dark that should have set your nerves off and yet on him it only lit the fire within your bloodstream to flow. Muttering close enough to your lips you felt his breath dance across your skin as he cupped your cheek and jaw more to his control. “I want everything, all of it, as long as it's with you. I always have.”
Looking back up to his eyes, Jon looked you over carefully for a moment but in the heavy silence, slowly took over in seeking a path. Glancing between you and your lips, Jon was so close to closing that gap only as long as it took for your hands to so very willingly reach up to grasp at his shoulders and part of the back of his neck. The moment your own eyes slipped closed, you barley needed to move a single breath forward, for Jon to close the gap between his lips and yours.
Jons lips were softer then you could have dreamed of, guiding you in an instant as if kissing you was what he had been waiting for all his life, and not for a second did he waste time. Pushing up to hover over you properly, his hand at your face slid to cup the back of your neck, keeping you pressed to his lips with no escape. Not urgent, nor greedy, and without the incessant ask for you to get to it. Jon kissed you as if he enjoyed kissing you.
Which in truth, was foreign. Men didn't spend time kissing you unless they wanted to fuck, they didn't enjoy kissing, you had always thought that was the case with your limited experience. But Jon deepened his kiss as if the idea of leaving you yet was devastating, as if he sought salvation and he found it through kissing you rougher and needier. Small sounds left your chest, hands tight on Jons shoulders he begun to gently bite at your bottom lip.
Small as if only a nibble, it grew more and more of a bite until he tore a gasp from you, which was his sly plan. Using the opportunity to glide his tongue into your mouth, he brushed up against your tongue as if guiding you to explore him back all the same. Hardly did you, but hovering above you on the bed Jon was in control regardless. Stealing your very breath and drawing up small whines of need before he would pull back to only a deep kiss.
But then he'd bite and once more the entire process repeated but his need grew each and every routine. Harsher did he kiss you as your legs slid, bent by the knees you let them sit at Jons side when he tore from your lips. The saliva between you snapping as he spared no time in running his kiss along your ear and down to your neck. Lips and tongue setting the stage as he suddenly would bite down.
A gasp clawed from within, back arching up into his touch as Jon suddenly with a growl in his own chest begun to then suck at where his teeth indented into your sensitive skin, forcing the colours to turn to a tingling bruise of his making, swiftly marking down and down your neck until he reached the collar of his shirt. Hoisting himself back up, capturing your lips once more deep and breath taking did he pull back.
Both hands pressed beside your head as he looked down at you with a darker, more serious gaze. “Tell me if I'm taking this too far.” But you only shook your head, trying to desperately seek his kiss but Jon gently pushed you back down flat against his bed. That time his brows furrowing as if seeking something in your own need. “I mean it, we don't have to do this, any of this. Whatever you want we can take our time.”
It was a heart pounding need stealing your lungs away, and only a scrap of voice drenched in desire was left. Without even the means of seduction, it came off as better then any temptress could possible use her wiles towards Jon with. “We've already imagined it separately, but now I want to know what being with my best friend really feels like.”
Jons eyes fluttered closed, a low sound grunting inside to maintain but he surged back to cup the back of your head to leave a harsh, biting kiss to your needing lips before tearing away and back down the already sensitive trail he left on your neck. Kneeling up a bit for the leverage, Jon grasped the ends of his shirt on your body, looking up dark and face twisted so seriously to your expression. The single second it took for you to nervously nod yes, Jon had yanked it up off of you and tossed it far as if offended it covered you up for so long.
Staring at your heaving chest, Jon almost tore up in a glare had you not known any better. “You were with me all night and weren't wearing anything under this?” Your head shook no as the air shivered along your skin. Eyes closing again to sigh much more deeply Jon let a a hand reach up. Rough and calloused was striking against the soft skin of your chest, but it was as if his hands were made to fit with your breasts perfectly. Kissing back to your neck, now just as greedy at your collarbones, Jon spared no shame in only grasping at your other breast for the time it took for his lips to reach it. One hand pinching the small, pink bud of your breast to stiffen it up for his hand to twist at, chest arching up more for him while his teeth sunk into your other breast. Biting the same as his hand twisted the other and your hips writhed desperately at the feeling.
Trying to reach for his own shirt, Jon used his free hand to snatch yours, slamming it down beside your head and intertwining his fingers with yours, without ever easing up the treatment sparking such a burning coil within. Gasping his name, Jon bit and sucked at your breast as his hand groped a tightness that in another mans touch would've hurt. But Jon kept you on the precipice of pleasure and just enough pain to keep you pliable for him.
Pulling from you, Jons eyes scoured his work and the trail of saliva left on your breasts no doubt you could feel in the cooler morning air. His hands were slow as he reached your the top of your pants, but the second you didn't blink or flinch but slightly raised your hips Jon stared at every inch of skin pulling them from you revealed to him.
Tossing them away, Jon ran his hands up your calves as they once more parted for either side of his body, Jon held at your thighs. Spread for him and nothing hiding the rest, you had been next to him for hours this bare under the basest of clothes and yet he was only finding out now.
But he allowed you to lean up, drag his own shirt up and over his head. Grasping the back of your neck as you leaned up towards him, Jon licked back into your mouth much more freely groaning as he hoisted one thigh up at the side of his hip. Only the lower and lower down your body Jons lips and kiss explored the more your heart begun to pound irregularly, something unsure in your head making you sit up away from him when you realized. “What are you doing?”
Jons eyes were wide, almost as if stunned at your sudden confusion. “Wh- I'd like to taste you, darling-” Interrupting with a short and high pitched ask of why, Jon almost breathed a laugh. Leaning up to better meet your now on edge posture sitting up on your elbows. “Because I've always dreamed of it, because I really want you to feel good.”
You had no way of knowing how much you were ruining him, how hard you were making his cock still hidden under the jeans he fell asleep in. “No, I mean why would you ever want to do that?”
There seemed to be a disconnect. The ease in which Jon was so sure of the ways he wished to explore you, and you not at all grasping why Jon would want to do things Karl and Ramsay told you men absolutely hated. Tilting his head, he ran his fingertips along your cheek some. Sighing through his nose trying to collect his thoughts, low and rasping he explained to you. “Because if your lips taste that good alone, I'm dying to know how you taste between your legs. And I promise it will feel good for you.”
But you shook your head. “No it-” Sighing out of something unsure, you shifted up a bit more as Jon, returned to hovering somewhat over you. His hand never leaving your touch as it ran along your gentle cheek. Collecting your thoughts, ignoring how your neck and breasts stung with the same bruising from his mouth, and yet feeling lightheaded at how much you like the feeling. “Men only do that stuff in videos, none of you really want to do that.”
You didn't understand why Jon was looking at you that way. Confused and if you weren't mistaken, almost a bit heartbroken. Asking roughly and short in tone, “What else did those two say. About sex, about what people do together?”
That was easy, they told you consistent things. Which was why you were so confused as if it was the first time anyone was telling Jon something men were all supposed to have agreed on. Anything a man does to you, you owe him back, be it between your legs or getting on your knees. All that romantic stuff was for movies and all the stuff men did in porn to pleasure women was just that, for porn. They didn't like it, they both were just actors doing a job.
He had to look way for a moment, Jon couldn't look at the genuine, almost innocent expression on your face as you said all of this. Hands curling onto a fist as they rested beside your body in the sheets but he shook his head. Jaw clenching trying to keep it together before rasping out, “I need you to listen to me. And I don't mean to hurt your feelings, but you need to hear this. Karl and Ramsay were just using you for sex. They didn't care how you felt or if you liked it, they wanted to fuck you and all they cared about was that you let them.”
He was right, you didn't really feel good inside your heart hearing it. But it paired so oddly with the way he was looking at you with something you were a bit scared to admit you were hoping looked like love. Your voice was as week and unsure. “I..I just wanted to do this right this time..Ramsay used to always leave to go see another girl.. so I started just doing what he wanted because I thought he was losing interest because I was doing it wrong.”
Were you not laying gently out and naked on his bed, Jon may have found the anger in him to lash out at that. Unable to stop thinking that you knew, you knew Ramsay saw other girls and he wouldn't put it passed Karl to do the same. You were someone he loved, but in a way Jon knew he had his work cut out for him with you. You had a lot to learn about your own pleasure.
Leaning into you, Jon forced you to lay back down against his bed. Capturing your lips in a quick but biting kiss, muttering into them as he pulled back. “Will you let me prove you wrong? Will you let me taste you? Make you feel good like you deserve?” Trying to ask what about him and Jons eyes nearly rolled into the back of his head desperate for his mouth to just drink between your legs already. A growl deep in his words. “I promise, darling. This is as much for me, as it is for you.”
Nodding with a hesitant, “Please..” Jon knew he had to control his need. He'd keep you here pinned to his mouth another time, but right now he needed to show you why you deserved this kind of pleasure and why he wanted it so badly. “I trust you, Jon.”
His kiss was much softer then, muttering “I'll take care of you.”
Moving down, Jon hoisted one of your thighs up over his shoulder, nudging your other open wider on his bed as you shook. Feeling his warm breath, Jon pressed a gentle kiss to your clit. Jumping slightly in his tough, he reached out to grasp your hips, gently shushing you. “It's alright, I've got you.”
Each subsequent kiss was slowly followed by his tongue gently licking at the bundle of nerves, building the fire within up and up within you but keeping you perched on the edge of an orgasm, already feeling somewhat embarrassed by how quickly he worked you to it. Jon however, hardly cared. Sucking it more before running his tongue tightly against it, his eyes closed you felt his facial hair burn between you, gasping out at the roughness contrasted to his mouth licking and nibbling at your clit. But yet, it was another gentle kiss which pushed you. Arching off the bed, Jon grasped your free leg and threw it over his shoulder before yanking you down the bed.
Tongue hot and wet, licking flat down your folds to your core and were his eyes not closed he'd have them rolling onto the back of his head at the taste. If possible, you came quicker. Barley managing to drink every bit of wetness you gifted him between your legs, Jon heard you cry his name with breathless pleas as if this was even a fraction of how long he'd keep you there. Licking flat, he ran his tongue just barley inside of your cunt as you let go once more.
You had not realized how terribly worked up you felt until your orgasm let free within Jons tasting mouth as he grunted against you. Drawing back up to your clit he let those sparks of twisting need feel overwhelmed a bit more before kissing up your mound and to your stomach. Your mind a mess, not noticing really what he was doing now as your eyes closed and ringing in your ears from something so burning so addictingly inside your core.
By the time Jon surged upwards, he gently hooked your hip at his thigh, leaning to kiss you again, your hands winding behind his neck. A gentle smile came over him as he pulled away, “I know it was a lot, but tell me, did you enjoy it?” Nodding, still catching your breath, he smiled brighter. A single kiss to your lips. “Good, because we're going to do that longer and longer each time from now on. I want you to feel as good as I do. Now, we don't have to do anything more,”
Just as Jon trailed off, you felt a shiver run down your spine and arms into your chest. Feeling his cock gently run along your soaked core, you hadn't even been in the head space to notice when he took everything else off of himself. It was overwhelming, being bare against Jon who matched in his bed like this, but you couldn't feel the nerves normally present. You looked up at his bright grey eyes and closed yours to kiss him.
Hardly pulling back to whisper, “Please, Jon. I want to feel you inside me, I've wanted to for so long..”
Dropping his head in your neck, he muttered just as low and rough. “I know, darling. I know.” You read the unspoken of his own desire matching so perfectly for so long yet only now were about to join in a harmony.
Sliding inside of you slowly, Jon growled without removing himself from your neck at how smoothly you took his entire cock, but yet the tensing of nails in his skin at your sharp gasp. He stretched you so thick, you felt woozy thinking of his size, of how deep he was. A shameful thought would your hand even be able to wrap around him.
But he slid deep, and never sped up. Slowly pulling almost all the way out, Jon slowly pushed back in. Your cunt soaking around him, but only small sounds shared in the air other then the obscene sound each time his cock sunk deep as you were utterly wet around him. To either man before him, this pace would be unbearable and awful. But with Jon, you felt as shaking in need clenching around him as he throbbed inside of you.
Pulling up, his eyes hooded and his lips parted, he kissed you with a sloppiness that you matched, each slow thrust of his cock somehow less urgent then the gentle, slow manner he kissed your lips. Every step of the way you felt embarrassed how you came so easily, but Jon never stopped for one. Until you would cry out from too much, Jon wouldn't leave.
Slowly letting his cock push deep inside of you, licking his way into your mouth to match such a pace, but he kept going. Throbbing deeply as you let a leg wrap somewhat around him, Jon groaned your name just barley against your lips. As unexpected as your end was found with him inside you, Jon almost surprised himself with how suddenly he finished. Throbbing inside of your soaking, tight walls, Jon suddenly buried his head in your hair, pulling you to his neck as he pressed tightly against you into the bed.
Spilling inside of you, you felt his seed was somehow almost hot. Thick that you felt strange taking so much of it so deep but you let your other leg find your ankle around his back as Jon almost grasped at your waist to keep you steady as he slowly filled you with his thick, pouring seed. Your heart feeling light in your chest, but as Jon pulled you both up to meet your lips something in his passion told you he felt the same floating feeling.
Though you did notice, how he had yet to lose any shred of how hard his cock was inside of you despite cumming mere seconds ago. And when Jon didn't pull out, only sped his pace up just the slightest as he once more thrusted in and out of your cunt, his forehead leaned against your as you wrapped up in each other.
It was slow, and not urgent, and still very much brand new to a strange degree but Jons cock gentle inside of you was the first time you both felt as if you finally fit into each others life properly.
It was some hours later when you both properly emerged to the world. Only after Jon had lost his control when trying to clean you both up, and pressed you against the wall of the shower. Holding your hands above your head against the tile as he slid inside of you again and again. Only when the water turned cold did he pull out.
Each time a little faster, a little rougher, and a little more greedy for what you finally let him sink his cock deep inside as if you both desperately needed it. Which you did, only, your hearts also followed such a connection that time.
The topic though, was not at all addressed in the apartment until that evening when Robb and Theon came home. Jon had currently been hovering by you looking into the fridge as you both decided what you would cook together. His hand so freely pressing against your lower back in such an intimate stance for two best friends.
Theon had commented first, much to how quickly it made you playfully roll your eyes. “So, are we turning your room into a nursery, or have you two not moved everything into his yet?”
Robb's laugh was louder then Theons, but nowhere near as free and amused as Jons as he joined. Pulling your head close to press a kiss to the side of your hair, did it clue in. They had all been waiting for something to happen.
You were just the last one to find out it was not for anything morose. Theon and Robb had simply put bets as to how long it would take for Jon to finally make a move. Though, considering both of them handed the silver to Jon instead, your realized no matter what changed between the love you felt for your best friend, you still lived with three brothers who all were very unaffected by this new development.
Theon once more asking in jest about the nursery thing, and in truth, Jon had left you entirely flustered as he muttered both into your ear and loud enough for the others to hear, “We have a lot of years to make up for, shouldn't take long.” Your hanging head and deep sigh had all three laugh at your expense that time.
Some things it seemed, would always stay the same between you four.
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f10werfae · 2 years
Text
Chris Evans Dad Scenarios #3
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Pairing: Husband! Dad! Chris Evans x Reader
Word count: 907✨
Warnings: Boobs? Idk
Summary: Another continuation of parenthood for Chris and Y/n Evans with lots of fluff, mentions of domestic life and love
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Requests are Open!
Likes, Comments and Re-blogs are appreciated♥️
•Chris Evans Masterlist ✨🌸
•Main Masterlist✨🌸
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Forgotten Kisses☁️
(Y/n's P.O.V)
“Leo come over here bubba” Sat on a picnic blanket on the front lawn of our Boston house in the near countryside.
I watched as my two year old baby boy toddled around me, trying to catch the butterflies with Dodger hot on his trail.
Leaning back onto my portable back rest, I let my hands rest on top of my swollen stomach which was now at 7 months.
My sundress was flowing in the cool breeze, listening to Leo giggle and babble with Dodger constantly licking him.
When Leo suddenly stopped running and stood still meaning that Dodger had knocked into him causing him to fall flat on his bottom, a small squeal left him as I slowly started to get up; thankfully those squeals slowly turned to laughs with Dodger checking on his little brother with licks to the face.
“You guys enjoyin' yourself without me?” We heard a voice behind us say.
“DADA” Leo suddenly bolted upright, toddling as fast as he could to his father to be lifted and thrown up in the air.
“Baby be careful he might fall” I said attempting to get onto my feet before I was interrupted by Chris
“Is alright honey, no need to get up for me when you’re already comfy”
“If you say so” I said relieved letting myself relax back onto the blanket, watching Chris bounce our son about before putting him back onto the blanket.
“You sure you’ll be alright on your own bub?” Chris said brushing his fingers through my hair, his car keys dangling in his other hand.
“Of course hun, baby and I will just be out here I think relaxin' isn’t that right Leo?”
With babbles as a reply I nodded at Chris,
“Right well I need to sort out some stuff at the company and i’ll be back alright? You four take care and if anything happens call me”
“Sir yes Sir” I joked saluting him as he waved walking to his car before letting out a wolf whistle then shouting
“KEEP THE SUNDRESS ON FOR WHEN I COME BACK BUB, LOVE YA”
And with that he was off the driveway and on his way to work.
(10 Minutes Later)
“Look at you, my sticky little monster” I laughed using my wipes to clean the strawberry juice surrounding Leo's mouth, his fingers now stained red.
“You want more bubba?” I held up more sliced fruit only for him to just eat it off my hand,
“You’re my sweet boy, yes you are” I cooed tickling him lightly, his now clean hands hugging around my stomach as he put his head to lay down on my lap, the midsummer sun looking down on us.
When all of a sudden I heard that familiar engine rocking up the driveway,
“Is that daddy? Why is he back so early?” I whispered stroking Leo's hair, watching as my husband got out of his car running over to us.
“Did you forget something baby?” I asked looking up at him,
“Yeah this” Chris bent down and pressed his lips against mine, his hand holding the back of my neck.
“Forgot my goodbye kiss ats all, see ya later honey” He said walking back to his car not even giving me enough time to reply.
“Your dad’s crazy bub, and I love him for it”
———-
I think I peed a little☁️
(Y/n's P.O.V)
I stood by the kitchen counter facing my three year old as he ate his breakfast which consisted of plain Cheerios on his plate, his hands grabbing and pushing them into his mouth.
“Well there’s my lovely wife” Chris said entering the kitchen, and I assume he didn’t see Leo just sitting there because within seconds he had both breasts in his hands squeezing them roughly.
“Easy babe they’re still sore from feeding Lilah earlier, and your son is right there” I said watching as he placed kisses on my neck, his hands stopping their actions, his face dropping.
“W-what” Nodding my head to behind him, he turned around to see Leo just staring at us blankly, midway holding Cheerios in his small hand.
“Dada boobies” He cried out clapping his hands together, tears making their way down his face.
“Oh my baby what’s wrong?” I said walking around to pick him up from his high chair, wiping his tears with my free hand as Chris rubbed his head and back.
“Mine mama” He cried out grabbing onto the neck hem of shirt, catching on to what he was saying, I cracked up laughing
“What’s so funny babe? I don’t get it”
“Chris, your son doesn’t wanna share my boobs with you”
I laughed out, handing Leo over to Chris who was now burping him, his mouth open in shock.
“Are you serious? Now you listen here little man I had your moms boobs before you” Chris said jokingly, holding Leo at arms length before settling him back against his chest
“I think I peed a little” I said still laughing holding my legs together crossed, Chris' face contorting before also breaking out into laughter, which inevitably ended up with Leo also starting to laugh.
“Like father like son” I sighed out, deciding to go check on the sleeping Lilah in her nursery
“WHATS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!” I heard Chris shout whilst I went up the stairs,
“NOTHING HUN, JUST LOVE YOU BOTH SO MUCH”
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desire-mona · 11 days
Text
dps boys hcs! this has been requested of me! lets make it modern bc thatll be fun
- todd absolutely DESPISES "booktok" and its addiction to smut. can go on a VERY long rant abt how only reading things with sex scenes is, in fact, a porn addiction.
- knox has tried on many occasions to become an influencer, failing every single time and blaming it on the algorithm or whaver
- neil, type of mother fucker to not be on social media like at all. has one private instagram that he posts on maybe twice a year, and has a tiktok only to watch the videos todd intermittently sends him.
- ^^^ followed immediately by a text saying "i sent you a tiktok go look at it" which always sparks a mini argument about whether or not its easier to just save the video and text it to him. goes nowhere every time.
- meeks has fashion taste that makes him look insufferable, band tee's and the worst jeans you ever did see, exclusively. also modern meeks would have clear glasses frames.
- saw someone say charlie would vape, id like to add to that. has a COLLECTION of elf bars, its vast, its colourful, it's annoying, it's turning his coughs wet.
- pitts was a fast fashion guy for a total of 6 months before finding out all the shit about how unethical the industry is. didnt get rid of any of those clothes bc thats wasteful but he IS fighting for his life whenever anyone looks at his wardrobe.
- cameron is a BIG analog horror fan, local 58, walten files, fnaf tapes, thats his jam. can we popularise cam being a big horror fan in general bc im so attached to that hc. horror cam i love u.
- all the boys have a life360 circle (enforced by cam and pitts due to charlie's horrendous reckless driving) and todd CONSTANTLY needs to be yelled at the charge his phone.
- neil's phone is ANCIENT, had the same one for nearly a decade, and its evident. has a bigass crack right down the middle, the back is shattered and held together with tape, a phone case, and a dream. theres marks from shit burning into the screen, most notably a rectangle in the bottom corner from the billions of facetime calls with todd that ultimately set his phone on fire every time.
- todd is secretly a grade A yapper but ONLY in digital form. his online presence is VAST, but impressively anonymous. has a very active substack, letterboxd, poetry tumblr, and even started his own blog. no, not a tumblr blog, a blog blog.
- charlie's car is decked out in the most idiotic add ons that you can think of. comically large mirror dice, a bumper sticker that says "honk if you want me bad", stupid car door lights that project a photo of jimmy fallon onto the ground when u open them, the whole 9 yards. took neil, pitts, and cameron 20 minutes to talk him out of getting flame decals (as a bit.)
- knox refuses to play any other videogame besides GTA, which he plays concerningly often. if ur having trouble reaching him then odds are hes on GTA. its the only hobby of his that his parents know about. christmas is tough for the overstreets.
- meeks is well aware of his general ☝️🤓 demeanour so he started making jokes about it before anyone else can. any time he says anything remotely smart sounding then he MUST do the voice and put up a finger. it became a force of habit and he did it while talking to a teacher once, he left the room mortified.
- pittsie lives on spotify, he has a playlist for every possible emotion, over 3k liked songs, and 200k+ minutes listened when wrapped season rolls around. additionally he does every spotify stat game available, and forced the boys to download a spotify activity widget thing. (WHAT DO YALL KNOW ABT AIRBUDS ‼️‼️ add me @ monahatesya xoxo)
- cam loves to make jokes about DARE and the "this is ur brain on drugs" ads but he is, in fact, the main demographic of said ads. said this before, saying it now, will most definitely say it again, he is beyond susceptible to peer pressure. marijuana isnt a gateway drug for everyone but it certainly is for him.
bonus! chris and keating! just for you!
- chris is avoiding the lesbian masterdoc purely out of fear. not out of fear of being gay, but out of fear of the sheer amount of subsequent other things she'll likely also have to find out about herself.
- keating spends an inordinate amount of time on youtube, which nobody actually expects. big video essay fan, imagine the shock from the boys when he pulls up youtube for a lesson and he's halfway thru the 4 hour iBinged iCarly video. was previously a james somerton fan but considering... the james somerton part.. hes now a defunctland loyalist.
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Note
I love love love your little terror series! Would you consider making one if maybe like more gareth forward or like gareth being the main caregiver? He seems like he would just be the sweetest caregiver and I'm honestly just in love lol, maybe he calls the little bunny?? Thank you so much!
Little Bunny
Gareth Emerson x Little!Reader (They/Them Pronouns Used)
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Warnings - Jason is a bully
Notes - Gareth is aged up to be a senior in highschool on his second go around so he’s at least 19, I think, I don’t know how American schools work … Also this is short, I’m coming back from a very long hiatus so please just bear with me <3
SFW - Please keep all interactions with this post, and this blog, SFW
+ + + + + +
The parking lot was as loud as ever, students chatting, catching up after a long summer, cars parked so close doors could hardly open, and new students lost to the point of no return. Senior year seemed to creep up on Gareth like no other, the excitement of becoming the Hellfire club's new DM had taken up most of his summer, the thoughts of math homework, english class, and graduation lost on him as he began planning his first campaign.
Ever since Eddie, Little Terror and Jeff had graduated, the school felt less alive, no more table top rants, or chasing a lost little through the hallways after school. Everything just felt empty and broken. "Gareth!" Dustin called out, waving him over to the group of people he seemed imbedded in, Mike and Lucas both present. "This is Elle." He pointed to a girl, her giving him a shy wave in return. "And that's Will, they're new, and old." Gareth just shook his head, Dustin was sure to explain what he meant later. "They wanted to know if they could join the club?"
"Sure, the more the merrier!" He smiled, faking his enthusiasm, the change that this year was to bring too fresh on his mind. "Just make sure they have what they need purchased by Friday!" He shouted as he walked away, the group chatting as he left them behind.
"Sorry." A voice pleaded, the sound heard by Gareth as he walked to his locker, the language hall usually quite, hardly any students in it before school, just those unlucky enough to have their lockers located there. "I really didn't do it I promise! I didn't do anything!" The voice continued.
"I don't believe you!" A harsh voice called back, one that belonged to Jason Carver, the second year senior who's dad apparently couldn't pay off the teachers to let him pass. "You did this on purpose! And you're going to pay!"
Gareth walked towards the commotion, almost hesitating as he instinctively waited for Eddie to barge through and deal with Jason. "Ahem." Gareth cleared his throat, leaning against the lockers closest to the pair, his new found height doing wonders to his intimidation tactics.
"This is none of your business' Freak." Jason spat, turning back to the crying person in front of him.
"Pretty sure it is." Gareth said sarcastically, looking around to add dramatic effect, as if he was looking for a care in the world for Jason. Before the Jock could get back to tormenting the clearly new person, he spoke again. "Seeing as they are in Hellfire, this situation is definitely my business, so tell me what's going on here."
Jason just laughed, looking to the poor soul and then back to Gareth. "Should have known they were with you, all you Freaks look the same."
The words made Y/n cry harder, standing still, tears running down their cheeks as Jason turned back to them before walking away, not having the time to try and mess with the Hellfire Club this early in the year. "'m so sorry!" Y/n cried, looking now to Gareth, their eyes wide, heart beating fast. "I promise I din' do anyfin, 'm jus' clumsy 'nd fell." Their tears were fatter now, their shoulders shaking slightly.
Gareth's heart broke, 'Why do we always meet littles in moments of distress?' He asked himself. "I know you didn't do anything, and even if you did, your secret would be safe with me." He smiled, pretend zipping and locking his lips.
Y/n wrinkled their nose, a small smile now on their face as tears fell. "I'll leabe now, 'm sorry for bothering you."
"You're not bothering me, don't worry." He chuckled, Y/n quite literally making his day. "Why don't I take you somewhere and help you calm down? Wouldn't want to spend your first day sad, would you?"
"You don' wan' me t'go with you, 'm, 'm ..."
"Feeling tiny?" Gareth asked, Y/n's eyes widening when they heard his words. "Well, if you don't want to come and play with allll the toys I have, that's fine, I'll just let them know you don't want to be their friends." He said, fake sadness lacing his voice, turning to walk away.
"Toys?"
Gareth smiled, nodding his head, gesturing for Y/n to follow him.
+ + + + + +
The drama room lights turned on with a buzz, the room suddenly flooded with warm light, the large table in the middle as clean as it will ever get all year, not yet in use, costumes on racks surrounding the perimeter of the room. "They should be over here, you can take a seat if you want." He smiled, walking towards the back wall in search of the box of second hand toys Little Fairy used to play with, all donated by those in the club, along with Eddie's thrift store finds.
Y/n wrinkled their nose as the box was placed in front of them, contemplating what to pull out first, before their hand landed on a stuffed bunny, one Little Fairy refused to play with because of their little blue and orange stuffed blobs.
"You two are a prefect pair." Gareth chuckled, his arms crossed as he stood a few steps back. "You both have cute little noses." He laughed when Y/n looked up at him, their nose scrunched in the perfect bunny like way.
Y/n smiled, giving the bunny a little wiggle, their hand wiping the tears off their face, a smile on their lips rather than their previous frown. "I's cute." They giggled, showing the bunny off to Gareth.
"It is very cute, why don't you take him with you today?" Gareth asked, now crouched down, his arms laying on the table as he looked at the thing, giving one of the ears a little pet. "He sits in here all day alone, I think he’d enjoy the company.” He smiled.
“Really?” Y/n’s tears had mostly dried, but sadness seemed to be permanent plastered to their face, like no amount of stuffed animal would rub it off.
“Of course.” Gareth sat in the seat next to Y/n, one arm leaning against the table. “Why don’t we meet up at lunch, and you can let me know if he’s behaving?” He asked, knowing he wouldn’t be a good ‘hellfire babysitter’ if he didn’t check in on them later, though he would ask even if it wasn’t for the club, Y/n and him seemed to click, sort of like Eddie and Little fairy.
“M’kay.” Y/n smiled up at him, wrinkling their nose once again. “Tanks.”
“Of course, Little bunny.”
285 notes · View notes
jawritter · 1 year
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Something About Fate
Chapter 5
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Summary:  Y/N has been homeless and living on the streets of Dallas, Texas since the start of Covid. Until one day, a handsome, green eyes strange notices her and turns her whole world upside down.
Warning: Change, even good change, can be scary, and even a little hard…
Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader (eventually).
Word Count: 2k
A/N: This series is completely unbeta’d, so all mistakes are mine! This series will contain mature content eventually, and therefore is unsuitable for persons under 18 years of age! Anyone under the age of 18 will be blocked for my blog! Thanks so much for reading! I hope you all enjoy this series!
Main Masterlist                  Series Masterlist
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Y/N looked out of the window of the expensive looking Van that had picked Jensen and herself up from the airport as soon as they landed in LA with somewhat of a shocked awe at all the sights that slowly passed her by in the crawling, busy streets. 
Sure, Dallas had some pretty impressive buildings, but the people here were just—different. For one, there were so many of them. Which might be attributed to the fact that it was a great deal warmer here than it had been in Dallas, but Y/N doubted that. It was still very early in the day, and they were out in droves. She doubted that as the day drew on, or when night started to fall, things would get any quieter. 
Everything was so much brighter here too. Even the signs and the billboards that flashed on the side of buildings were brighter. It made the little big town of Dallas she’d come from seem so cold and outdated. 
Then it hit her. This was Jensen’s life and had been since he was a young boy. It was sooo different than the one she’d led, even if she hadn’t ended up living on the streets. Which made her wonder even more why the hell the man was doing what he was doing? Why he cared about just another blurry face on the street in the middle of what these people would probably consider nowhere and pulled her out of the life she was in with the intent to sit her back on her feet. It just made sense. 
“The place we’re staying at isn’t in town,” Jensen voiced suddenly from beside her. “And I will have a rental car waiting for us so that we can get around when and where we need to without too much assistance. I prefer the seclusion and privacy over all this noise. It won't take us long to get there after we get out of all this traffic.” 
She nodded as her eyes drifted back to the window just in time for Y/N to turn to face the window once again and see Jensen’s face just outside of her car window, plastered alongside his castmates for the series he’d recently done, The Boys.
That’s when it really, really struck her, the gravity of the difference in worlds the pair of them were from, and it set heavily, like a rock in the center of her gut. She wasn’t even sure she was breathing as she stared dumbly at his face on the billboard. 
There was a flood of emotions that settled over her like a wet blanket, fear being the primary one. In fact, when someone was to really think about it, there was a lot to fear here. Sure, they’d spent a few days in Dallas together, and sure, Jensen had promised her a lot in the time they’d spent together, and he’d already made good on a lot of those promises. He even gave her a key to his fucking car and his house! 
But his life was a very public one. He’d once been married, he’d had a family, he’d had a life she’d never even begin to understand. He had a thousand girls throwing themselves at him online constantly, and the selection of that pool had to be better than anything that he saw in her. There was the fear that he’d come to that conclusion and kick her out, just as fast as this had started, it had the potential to end. 
Then there was the fear of screwing up. There were a lot of eyes watching her now, because she was working for him. Surely the public would notice her eventually, and when they did, they were going to rip her apart about everything she did, right or wrong. That was utterly terrifying to even think about. 
“Hey,” Jensen said, grabbing her hand in his own, and pulling her attention back towards him. She was so lost in her worry, she’d barely realized that they’d made it out of the city, and there was a blur of greenery flying by their window. “You haven’t said a word since we left the airport. Are you feeling, okay?”
“I’m okay,” she assured him, she could see it on his face, he was worrying over her again, and that wasn’t the first time she’d noticed him doing it either. It made her feel horrible every time she saw him doing it, guilty for making him worry about her, when honestly, she should be on cloud nine right now! She was living every girl’s dream! “A little tired I guess I didn’t really sleep a whole lot on the flight here.”
“Yeah, I’m sorry I booked us so early. Next flight we take will not be before the asscrack of dawn I promise,” he said, but didn’t let go of her hand as his pale green orbs searched her face, trying to read her. He did that a lot too.
“I’ll get used to it,” she attempted to downplay things a little to settle his nerves. “I’ve never really traveled anywhere myself outside of Dallas, I used to book things for other people, but never did it myself. There’s a big difference between booking a trip and actually traveling, I guess.”
“I moved here when I was just a teenager, literally right after high school, so I get it. Everything looks so out there and feels foreign, but after a few years of coming back and forth from different towns to different towns, it’s not as jarring anymore. This summer we’re gonna be spending some time in Vancouver. Honestly, out of all the places I’ve been, that one feels most like home to me. I spent a long time there.”
“I don’t have a passport,” she reminded him, but he just shrugged it off. 
“That’s fixable, as soon as we get back to Austin, I’ll make sure all of that’s taken care of. I'm more concerned about the fact that I’ve thrown a lot of life changes your way in a short amount of time and I want to make sure you’re okay with it.”
Y/N sighed a little in spite of herself. It was a lot. It was fast. Still, what was the alternative? Freezing to death on a sidewalk in Dallas? Nope, this was better, even if she did have whiplash and a lot of shit at stake. 
“It’s a lot”, she admitted, “I’d be lying if I said that it wasn’t, but I’ll rebound, I promise—”
“Hey,” Jensen said, squeezing her hand and halting her to keep her from talking so fast that she was about to hyperventilate, which made her face burn hot with embarrassment. “It’s okay to be a little turned around and freaked out. I kinda ripped you away from everything you’ve ever known in less than 72 hours. Anyone would be a little off kilter after that for a while. I’m not mad about it, nor am I gonna be, but if you need to take five, or if it gets too much, you have to be honest with me… okay? I can’t don’t know how you’re feeling unless you tell me.”
Y/N swallowed the hug knot she had in her throat and nodded, just in time for the car to come to a stop in front of a private little house, far enough outside of town to be unbothered by prying eyes, but close enough to get a Door Dash delivery and an Uber if you need it.
Robotically, eyes still glued to the pristine white exterior with dark green shutters and a cute little front porch with a slightly weather porch swing and rose bushes lining the stone trail that led to the tiny red front door that created a very inviting, homie vibe, Y/N realized something. It had been three years since she’d stepped foot inside of a house, much less stayed in one. 
Pressure immediately started to build behind her eyes, and a hundred-pound weight set itself on her chest as her eyes shifted over every little perfect imperfection of the little cottage. This was heavy. She thought she’d never see something like this again, only in her dreams. 
Maybe it was a good thing that Jensen was taking her here first, because she was sure his home was massive in comparison to this one, and if this one was hitting her in the feels like this… she could only imagine what it was going to be like when she pulled up to her new ‘home’. 
“You coming, sweetheart?” Jensen questioned, his voice jarring her, and causing her to look in his direction. He was standing in the middle of the little path that led to the house, bags in his hands, her little bag of belongings on his shoulder, and a deeply concerned look on his face. 
“Yeah, sorry,” Y/N attempted to shake it off. But she could tell for all of her bravo acting, Jensen wasn’t convinced. Guess you can’t bullshit a bullshitter. That’s what actors did right? Bullshit you into believing they’re feeling what they’re feeling while they were in front of a camera to make it real? Right?
She knew she had some deep seeded trust issues, but apparently, she had more than she thought she had, ‘cause now she was wondering as she forced her feet to move, and began to follow him up the little trail of stone to the porch, whether she’d ever really be able to trust anyone again after all she’d been through, especially someone as good at acting as this man obviously was...
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Forever:
@bubsonnobx​​​​
@britnwinchester​​​​​​​​​​​
@samanddeaninatrenchcoat​​​​​​​​​​
@wittysunflower
@demongirl1996​​​​​​​​​​​  
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@jensenslady79​​​​​​​​​​​
@spnwoman​​​​​​​​​​​
@stoneyggirl2​​​​​​​​​​​
@unabashed-lover-of-fictional-men​​​​​​​​​​​
@stixnstripesworld​​​​​​​​​​​
@fullwattpadmusictree​​​​​​​​​​​
@nancymcl​​​​​​​​​​​
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@dean-winchesters-gardian-angel​​​​​​​​​​​
@flamencodiva​​​​​​​​​​​
@itmejado
@thoughts-and-funnies​​​​​​​​​​​
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@agirlwithdemonblood​​​​​​​​​​​
@captainsoldiergirl​​​​​​​​​​​
@twinkleinadiamondsky​​​​​​​​​​​
Jensen and Dean’s Babes
@deans-baby-momma​​​​​​​​​​​  
@impalaslytherin​​​​​​​​​​​
@perpetualabsurdity​​​​​​​​​​​
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@eevvvaa​​​​​​​​​​​
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@lassie-bird​​​​​​​​​​​
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@shawnie74​​​​​​​​​​​  
@kaz11283​​​​​​​​​​​
@mlovesstories​​​​​​​​​​​
@ladysparks78
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SAF tag list
@itsdesiree86​
@evilunicorns4minions​​
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@thefemalestorywriter​​
@tapedeck-hearts​​​
@tristanrosspada-ackles​  
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@mavisiceroo
131 notes · View notes
sluttywonwoo · 4 months
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instead of you [part thirty-seven] || l.mh
pairing: [best friend’s brother] lee minho x college!reader ft. han jisung
summary: you didn’t expect to spend your summer pretending to be your best friend’s girlfriend- then again, you didn’t expect to fall for your best friend’s brother, either. 
warnings: swearing, alcohol, smut (18+ ; mdni)
word count: 3.1k
a/n: revamped my tom holland series from my main blog ( @wazzupmrstark ) to try and motivate myself to finish it!!
additional smut warnings: public-ish sex, fingering, oral (f receiving), switch!minho
“So, what movie are we seeing?” you asked, exhaling deeply to try and physically release the stress you’d been holding. 
Minho pursed his lips, making you narrow your eyes in suspicion. “So the thing is, it’s not really a movie, movie.”
“Minho, what are we watching?”
He mumbled it. “A BTS concert from 2019.”
“You took me to see your own movie?”
“It’s what they were showing! I had nothing to do with it, like they’re in the middle of a marathon. Last week they showed one from 2018.”
“Seems awfully convenient,” you mused. 
“Trust me, I know. I thought I was losing my mind when I looked at their website earlier.  But I promise I had nothing to do with it. Apparently, they have a really big fanbase in Hawai’i. You really think I’m so tacky I’d take a date to my own gig?”
“No comment.”
“Listen, I wouldn’t have taken you to a K-pop thing if there was something else playing, but there’s only the one lot. The music is good, trust me.”
“If you say so.”
Minhno smirked. “I do say so. I think you’ll like it, actually.”
“Oh, you do?”
“Yeah, I hear there’s someone very good-looking performing.”
You hummed thoughtfully. “Oh yeah, they’re supposed to be really handsome, right?”
“Fuck you.”
“I’d rather fuck you,” you quipped. He raised an eyebrow suggestively, making you laugh.
“What are we doing here, then?”
“We’re on our date!”
“But we could leave.”
“I can’t believe you’re trying to get into my pants on the first date,” you scoffed. 
“I don’t have to try,” Minho pointed out. “I was already successful before our date. Many times, actually.”
“I was there, you don’t have to remind me.”
“Are you sure?”
You rolled your eyes through a grin. “Positive.”
“Alright, well let me know if you change your mind.”
“You’ll be the first to know,” you assured him, leaning over the center console to nudge his shoulder. 
You stayed there, shoulders resting against each other. He looked over and smiled at you before reaching for your hand and taking it in his. He lifted his other hand to check his watch. 
“The movie starts in about ten. I know they have a concession stand but if you want snacks you’ll probably have to be the one to get them. I can give you the money, obviously, I just can’t…”
“Leave the car,” you finished for him.
“Yeah, pretty much.”
“I’ll go see what they have,” you decided. Minho handed you his wallet but you didn’t take it. “It’s on me. You bought the movie tickets.”
“You know I’m in this movie, right? You don’t have to worry about splitting the cost of everything.”
“I know, just, let me do this.”
Minho held his hands up in surrender and pocketed his wallet. “Fine, fine. Can you get me a beer?”
“Sure. Any kind in particular?”
“Whatever they have is fine. I’m not picky.”
You nodded and stepped out of the car, smoothing your dress out in case it had ridden up. You stood on your tip toes and craned your neck to try and find the concession stand above all of the cars. 
Luckily, there was a big neon sign that read CONCESSIONS with an arrow pointing to a kiosk that was presumably sitting underneath it. 
You wove inefficiently through the parking lot over to the sign, sighing when you spotted the long line. It was moving pretty fast so you didn’t have to wait very long and by the time you made it to the front, you still hadn’t decided what to get. 
The woman behind the counter looked bored and impatient so naturally, you panicked. 
“Hi, um can I please get a medium popcorn and two Nerds Ropes?”
“Anything to drink?”
Your eyes flicked to the menu overhead but all of the options seemed to blend together in an unintelligible jumble. “Uh, a water bottle and a peach High Noon, please. And what kind of beer do you guys have?”
She listed off a handful. You chose the first one you recognized and hoped it was one Minho wouldn’t mind too much. You waited as she ID’ed you and rang you up, dropping a couple of bills in the tip jar when she handed you your change. 
You had stupidly declined a tray so you had to very precariously carry everything back to the car in your arms. It was one of those establishments that took the caps off of bottled drinks and opened cans before you were allowed to leave the counter which meant you had to be extra careful with how you balanced things so that nothing would spill. 
“You good?” Minho asked, watching you struggle with everything. “I’d help, but that would kind of defeat the purpose of not going to get the stuff in the first place.”
“I’m fine,” you insisted. 
He didn’t look convinced but it wasn’t like he could do anything but watch so he didn’t comment further until you were seated again. 
“What’d you end up getting?”
“Well, popcorn.”
“It’s not a movie without it.”
“Exactly,” you agreed and handed him the bucket. “And I got us a water to share and some Nerds Ropes, I hope you like those.”
“Love em.”
“And then I got myself a High Noon and I got you a Heineken. I’m sorry, I blanked when she told me all of the types of beer they served and chose the first one I knew.”
“It’s okay! I told you I’m not picky. Heinekens are fine, babe, thank you.”
“Are you sure?”
Minho chuckled and took a sip from the bottle as if to prove to you that he liked them. “Yeah! Why wouldn’t they be? Do you have something against Heinekins?”
You made a face. “Bad memories.”
“Mm, I see. In that case, I won’t offer you any.”
“Thank you. Did you want to try some of my drink?”
“Sure, what’d you say it was?”
You passed it to him. “A High Noon. Have you never had one?”
“No, I don’t usually go for seltzers.” You watched him take a sip, laughing when he made a similar face to the one you had made just a few moments prior. “Oh god, the bubbles hurt.”
“How big of a sip did you take?!”
“A regular-sized sip! The carbonation is just a lot!”
“You’re so dramatic. Beer is also carbonated!”
“Not that carbonated!”
You rolled your eyes. “You just enjoy your drink and I’ll enjoy mine.”
“Gladly.”
Just then, the parking lot’s overhead lights dimmed. The projector flickered to life, casting the station to which to tune your car’s radio. Minho fidgeted with the dial until it was tuned to the right frequency. 
“Welcome to Aloha Drive-In’s adult-only feature film of the night! We have late-night showings for ages eighteen and up every weekday.”
“What makes it adults-only?” you asked aloud. “Is it actually a strip show or something?”
“They serve alcohol,” Minho explained. “Something with the licensing prevents them from offering it during regular showings.”
“Oh.”
“I can give one when we get back later, though.”
“Only if you sing the whole time.”
He grinned. “Name the song, I’ll do it.”
“Please stay in your car for the duration of the film unless you need the restroom or concessions. In case of emergency...”
You listened to the rest of the spiel in silence, snacking lightly on what you’d bought until the BigHit logo appeared on the screen. 
You had to admit that it was a pretty good concert, even though you didn’t have a lot of context as to what was going on. It seemed like there were a lot of inside jokes between the artists and the fans that you were missing because you weren’t a fan. 
Minho pointed himself out during each song, sometimes giving extra context to the performances, like how long rehearsals were for them or how they had to change the choreography because someone named J-hope didn’t like the way the formations looked. 
You realized this was the first time you were seeing Minho dance. And he was good. You knew he wasn’t the focal point of the concert but you couldn’t take your eyes off him. He made all of the movements look so easy, so natural. 
Out of the corner of your eye, you could see him watching you, gauging your reactions. You could tell he was pleased by how entranced you were and even though you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of ogling over him, it was impossible not to. 
You were surprised by how many of the songs were... sexy. The subtitles didn’t translate the lyrics, only the dialogue, but from the dance moves, you got the feeling that they weren’t all PG. 
“I thought you said this wasn’t a striptease,” you muttered, watching the dancers’ hips roll in time with the music.
Minho laughed. “We’re not stripping,” he insisted.
“You might as well be.”
“Just keep watching.”
You did, keeping your attention on on-screen Minho. The camera cut to him for a brief second as he had a moment with one of the members and you almost gasped out loud as he wrapped a hand around the older man’s neck. You shifted in your seat, squeezing your thighs together as the Minho on the screen squeezed Namjoon’s (?) throat. Minho’s gaze fell to your lap when he caught the movement of your legs. 
“Are you cold?”
“Um, a little,” you lied. 
You were in fact, not cold at all. You were actually feeling a little warm. 
“Here,” Minho said, reaching behind him to grab something. It was a blanket, and he draped it over your legs. “Don’t worry, it’s not the same one from the beach.”
You nodded in appreciation, grateful that he had clarified that it was a clean blanket and not the one that had been laid down in the sand and had sex on top of from the night before. 
Minho kept a hand on your thigh even after he’d situated the blanket on your lap. 
“Warming you up,” he explained before you could ask.
You were a little suspicious of his true intentions but he wasn’t moving his hand and he had gone back to watching the movie so you let it go. 
The snacks you bought lasted you throughout the majority of the film. Once you’d finished them, you put the candy wrappers in the empty popcorn bowl and placed it on the floor of the car so that you could lean across the center console and rest your head on Minho’s shoulder. He met you halfway to make it less uncomfortable for you. It was a little awkward, trying to position yourselves in a way that felt natural.
Your suspicions about Minho’s hand were of course proved correct when you felt it begin to inch upward. Your thighs parted automatically for him before you could process what was happening. It was pathetic how responsive your body was to him. 
“I’ve been trying so hard not to stare at you all night,” he confessed. “Look so fucking pretty in this dress.”
“You should try harder,” you teased, reminding him of when you had to kick him under the table at dinner with his family.
“You’d be doing the same thing if you were in my shoes,” he insisted.
“No, because I have self-control.”
“Oh, really?” he asked, fingers ghosting over your panties.
You sucked in a breath, physically holding yourself back from arching into his touch. 
“This isn’t affecting you at all?”
You shook your head. “Nope.”
“What about this?”
You knew he could feel how wet you were getting. It was pointless to lie. But even as he pulled your underwear to the side and teased you by putting the tip of his middle finger inside of you, you wouldn’t admit it. 
“This is doing nothing for you?” Minho prodded, curling his finger in a little deeper. 
You gasped and gripped the car door handle, nervously checking your surroundings to ensure you weren’t being watched. Minho had parked in the back of the lot so there was no one behind you. Everyone else seemed zoned in on the concert playing like they were supposed to be.  
“I asked you a question,” he reminded you. 
“Feeling nothing,” you lied. 
Minho tongued his cheek in annoyance even though it was clear you were just fucking with him. 
“You’re such a brat.”
“You already knew that.”
He sighed. “That’s true.”
You were both quiet for a couple of beats, letting the screams of the crowd fill the silence. Minho’s finger was still halfway inside of you under the blanket and your dress and you had to try very hard not to think about it. 
Then, beside you, Minho laughed. 
“What?” you mumbled absentmindedly, forcing yourself to keep staring at the screen. 
“Watching me dance is making you clench around my finger.”
Your cheeks burned with embarrassment and you sunk down in your seat, which coincidentally pushed Minho’s finger deeper inside of you, making you whimper. 
“It’s not my fault!” you cried before he could say anything. “Obviously I’m going to be turned on by seeing you move like that!”
“You don’t need to explain yourself,” he assured you, voice full of amusement. “I’m glad I can make you feel that way. Quite flattered, actually.”
“You’re such a dick.” 
He leaned over to whisper in your ear even though you were sitting right next to each other and no one else could hear your conversation. “And I’ve heard I’ve got a pretty nice one too. What do you say we get out of here?”
-
You made it through most of the concert, you figured that might as well count as a whole date, right? It was the thought that counted. But you couldn’t find it in yourself to care either way as Minho’s tongue traced the outline of your cunt. 
He was on his knees for you, holding you against the wall of his hotel room with your leg over his shoulder. You moaned softly and pulled at his hair, making him grunt into you. 
He paused for a second. You assumed it was to catch his breath but then he started talking. 
“I’m sorry we didn’t finish our date,” he murmured against your thigh, kissing it as further apology.
“No you’re not,” you laughed breathily. You knew there was nothing else he would rather be doing right now.
“I am,” he insisted, “I said I wanted to take you out on a real date, not just have sex, and I couldn’t even control myself for a few hours.”
“To be fair, we spent all day together,” you pointed out. 
“You know what I meant,” he sighed. 
“I know, and I believe you,” you said, ignoring Jisung’s words in the back of your mind. “It’s not like I didn’t want to do this too.” Minho pushed out his bottom lip, half pouting. “Do you want to stop?” you asked. 
“No, of course not,” he answered immediately. 
“Are you sure? We don’t have to keep going.”
Minho stood up and took your hand, pressing it against the bulge over his pants. “I don’t want to stop.”
You gulped. “Okay.”
He sank down to his knees again and lifted the skirt of your dress, motioning for you to hook your leg over his shoulder like you had earlier. You did, with a little noise of effort. You didn’t have the strength to stand on one foot for very long so you hoped Minho wouldn’t make you stay like that forever. 
“Good girl,” he praised, making your knees even weaker than they already were. “Fuck, you’re dripping. I’m sorry, baby.”
You didn’t realize he meant literally until you felt his tongue on the inside of your thigh. You shivered as he traveled higher and higher, collecting your arousal on his taste buds. He reached the apex of your thigh and moaned, sucking hard at the place just below your hip to punctuate the feat. 
“There we go. Wouldn’t want to make a mess on the hotel’s nice carpet, would we?” he asked breathlessly. 
You wanted to roll your eyes at his excuse. “You can just say you’re addicted to my pussy, it’s okay.”
“Fine. I’m addicted to your pussy.”
His head disappeared beneath your dress for the third time, and he was back at it like he had to prove what he’d admitted to, something you both already knew to be true. You trembled, hands flying to the back of his head to push him further into you, and he mumbled something that sounded encouraging but was unintelligible. 
You yelped as he pushed his tongue inside you, legs shaking. He lifted one of his hands and waved it in front of you, offering it for you to hold so that you could stabilize yourself... somewhat. 
You took it and squeezed hard, earning another eager sound from Minho. Having his hand helped a little, but not enough to get you to relax enough to where you felt like you could cum without falling over and breaking something. 
“I think-” you started, voice shaking, “I think I’m going to fall if you keep going.”
He resurfaced, looking a mix of disheveled and feral. 
“Wanna sit on my face?”
“I’d rather sit on something else,” you quipped, yanking him up by the collar of his shirt. 
He moved easily, despite him being much stronger than you. He simply wasn’t resisting. You pushed him onto the bed with one hand and climbed on top of him with a smirk. You hadn’t forgotten that he said he would be a good boy for you when you were at the movies earlier and you wondered just how far he was willing to actually take that. 
You had dommed plenty of lovers in the past but you hadn’t tested those waters with Minho yet, although it seemed that he was more than willing to adapt to this change of pace. He was already gazing at you longingly with those big brown eyes of his, allowing you to pin him to the bed. 
Your theory was all the more confirmed when he started talking. 
“I didn’t make you cum yet, though,” Minho whined, suppressing a moan as you grinded against him. 
“You’ll make me cum with your dick,” you assured him. 
“I wanted to with my mouth!”
“You always want to with your mouth.”
“Yeah, because you taste so good when you cum,” he panted. 
“If you want it that bad, you can eat me out after you fuck me.”
“But-”
“What happened to being a good boy?”
He went quiet at that and you were afraid you had misread the situation entirely until he let out a quiet, “sorry.”
“What was that?” you asked. 
“I’m sorry,” he repeated, a little louder this time. “I’ll be good for you.”
You smiled and began to unbutton his shirt.  “That’s what I like to hear.”
lmk what you think i always appreciate feedback!
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rinbowaman · 9 months
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Hey! Its my first time sending an ask hehe~ I just wanted to say that you’re such an amazing writer and your series are just sooooo good!!! 😍😍😍 I started getting into your account when I came across the smau for MRE and HHP and I gotta say, you got me hooked so bad onto Heethan that I end up loving all your Hee-leads so far! I’m so invested in HHP, SE7EN, DT and now TO! I’m honestly so excited to read a new chapter everytime you post hahaha! 🤭🤭
The main reason I wanted to send you this is cuz I’ve been having super stressful and bad days these past few days and its mainly cuz its my final year in college, final semester and final week actually 😅 and there’s just like sooo many final preparations needed to be done for my big final year project (having my big presentation today! soooo nervous) and its just been too much and too overwhelming for me and I didn’t wanna bother anyone with my anxiousness so I’ve been keeping it all to myself and having slight panic attacks and just started having random breakdowns as I complete my assignments. Reading your series, whether its new chapters or just rereading older ones have given me comfort, like I really felt alone but its like Heethan, Heelel and the Heebros have become my comfort characters. It’s just been so overwhelming for me and I didn’t wanna bother my family with it, I only have one other friend that I trust with my whole life but rarely see her, we’re all busy and I just felt like I’m falling behind in everything. Even though the Hee-leads might be like crazy obsessed with the reader, its like I really needed them in my life just to have someone to drop everything just to hold and comfort me anytime life becomes too much for me. I’m actually crying while writing this to you hahaha… it just feels like everyone around me is moving so fast and I’m stuck at the back picking myself up just because I feel so overwhelmed and anxious easily. Turning 20 this year is another thing that has me feeling afraid of adulthood, my mum is pressuring me into getting a job immediately once I graduate but I just feel like I’m not ready, or I’m just not ready to give up my teenage freedom and socialise professionally. Being such an introvert and shy and always thinking I’m just dumb and cant do work without help has been holding me back from wanting to grow and enjoy this new chapter in life.
So sorry for this long ass rant but i just really needed to let you know how much your stories, your Hee-leads have been keeping me going. Excited for the next chapters of your series! Hope you’re having a great day❣️
Omg so....I LOVE THIS.....this is so heartwarming and thank you for sharing it with me. Also, thank you for discovering my blog so you can write this to me, bc as you may have figured, receiving asks are just....its so nice. its a nice and wonderful surprise to hear from readers interesting in my work, wanting to know more about the characters and so forth. I am just beyond touched that heethan, heelel, and heebrows have made their way into your heart and to provide you comfort. in fact, reading your message had reminded me of a piece that i had started to draft (it was originally supposed to be a part of one of the HHP chapters but i never went through with it) but i still had it in my folders so after i finished reading your message, I decided to go back and actually finish it and format it specifically for you as y/n. I hope you like it. <3
Heeseung's Message.....
MDNI18+ content below the line.
Warnings: mentions of losing loved ones, fears and worries about the future, smut, car smut, unprotected smut, some....just some sadness....its a very heartwarming and touching piece.
"What's wrong baby?"
Noting how silent you were in the car, right after he picked you up, Heeseung rubbed your thigh, gently shifting your skirt upwards as he softly slid his hand up and down, enveloping you with warmth and comfort. "Something on your mind pretty baby?"
Placing your hand on his, you grabbed hold semi-tightly, keeping your gaze out at the window. You were hesitant at first, noting that Heeseung had a busy schedule of his own, was on his way of finishing his last year in college, aiding his professors, and of course, there was you....picking you up from classes, dropping you off every morning, taking you wherever you needed to go. You appreciated it but the man had completely devoted his time to everything else, you felt it selfish to bring any matters up to him....feeling that whatever time he did have left within the evening, he should at least have it for himself.
"It's nothing." You sighed out.
Glancing over to you, he furrowed his brows and quickly shifted the wheel, stirring the car over to a nearby parking lot on one of the campus buildings.
"What are you....?" raising up in your seat, you looked around before turning your gaze over to Heeseung, who steered the wheel with one hand and in a smooth motion, parked the car. Unbuckling his seatbelt, his gaze meets with yours before he reaches up and places his hand behind your head, softly grabbing onto your hair as he leans in and rests his forehead against yours.
"Whats wrong? Did something happen? Did someone hurt you? I wanna know. Tell me, y/n."
His eyes were wide and his expression was fierce with rage, however, before he further ventured off into a spiraling path of unhinged presumptions, you reached up and latched your fingers onto his collar, placing a dainty kiss on his lips. "Its not that....I promise nothing like that happened."
Raising his brows and tilting his head, he releases the gentle grip he had on your hair, and replaced it with a soft, petting motion. "Then why are you being so quiet? You seem upset, what is it?"
Looking down at the console for just a second, you raise your sights once more to meet his and began talking.
".....Are you ever scared about the future, Heeseung?"
His face was taken slightly aback as he raised both brows and looked at you with an intent look.
"Is that what this is about? Are you feeling overwhelmed about moving?"
Shaking your head, you looked down once more as you shyly clarified. "Nooo.....its not just that....its more..."
"Like what baby?"
"Like....after the moving.....finishing college, being in an unfamiliar country, not knowing anybody, making new friends, meeting your family, being apart from mine, learning a new language, finding a job after college, and what if I have to do more college? Or ...." pausing, you caught yourself drifting in verbal thought.
"Or....?" He draws out as he bids you to finish your statement.
"Or........what if....what if something happens and we........you know.....what if we just...."
Squinting his eyes slightly, his expression looked a little irked as he rolled his tongue in his mouth. "That's never going to happen y/n. You know that."
"Yeah but....."
"But what?" Slightly annoyed, he closed his eyes for a second, tilted his chin down, and lifted his lids to expose a rather stern and rather angry look. Yet the moment he saw that your eyes began to glisten, shining like diamonds as the tears started to build up, you looked down once more, unable to look him square in the eye as you felt the first tear break free and drip down on the leather padding of the console.
Watching as you faintly sobbed, he nearly felt his heart break into two. He gasped out a faint breath as he reached over with his other hand and cupped your face, no longer expressing a look of annoyance.
"Hey......why? What's making you think that way? Am I not showing you enough love? You know whatever it is you want, all you have to do is tell me and I'll make it happen."
"Its not that i just........there's just some things we can't predict about the future Heeseung......what if some day......what if you stop loving me......or worse.....what if something happens and I no longer have you? What if....just.......you never know.....is it wrong for me to hope for the best, but expect the worse? Because...you know that life can be so unfair some times....and I....I....I'm scared because....I dont even know....what I'm scared of sometimes. I wake up every single morning not even knowing how to live life because there's so many things that I think about....so many things that are thrown at me all at once and I just.....I feel like sometimes......I might fail......I feel like sometimes.....I will let you down.......I feel like its not the world, its me.........its me that's broken, not you or anyone else."
You gasped out tears and soft cries as you spoke straight from the heart. For the first time, Heeseung had sincerely considered if going to Korea was the best option, at least just for a second before he reminded himself of the future that he had waiting for him.....a future that would allow him to continue to keep you....safe....and with him.
Shifting his sights around on the floor bed of the car, his thumbs stroke your cheeks, wiping away the continuous flow of tears that were now coming down harder than before. Gulping down a hard swallow, he turns back to face you.
"Baby.........look at me....please look at me."
Looking up into his gaze, your eyes red, swollen, with eyelashes drenched and your face stained with wet trails of all your fears leaving their mark. With a soft smile, he calmly speaks.
"You're right.....that is tough. There's a lot that we can't control in the future....its precarious, and we're literally just pawns on the board of this silly game called life, where God and the universe are taking turns making each move. It can be cruel, unfair, and tormenting. Its something that we can either overcome with great strife and hard work."
"But what happens if we work so hard and it.....it just doesnt work out? What if everything just falls apart Heeseung?"
"We wont know unless it happens y/n......the thing about the future, as much as we want it here in the present, so we can see and view what it has in store for us, thats....just not the way it works. That's not the way we work....we're not designed to know those things. We didn't become strong because we cheated, we became strong and survived because we, as humans, learned....the hard way."
Looking into his eyes, your vision started to become blurry all over as the next set of tears built up. Smiling as he continued to wipe your tears away, he continues.
"Y/n....for thousands of years, people have fallen, lost, and suffered at the creativity of the universe. Yet we never gave up......people had an urge to survive. Which is why at times, even when the entire world was on fire, times where a soldier never comes home, a woman loses her child, or when a doctor just doesnt have a cure.....we keep moving....we get back up and learn how to walk again. I can't sit here and tell you that I know that everything is going to be great.....I dont know. But what I do know.....is this...."
Shifting his hands down to your waist, he lifts you with his core strength as his abdominal muscles flexed under his shirt. Bringing you over onto his lap, he sat you down in a princess style as he cradled you against his chest.
"No matter what happens....I'm going to be there. I'm going to be there and I'm going to help you, just like you're going to help me. I'll never let anything happen to you....and.....you never have to worry about me not loving you .....noooooooo pretty baby......that's never going to happen, not loving you would be the worst offense against Heaven and humanity. As far as if anything were to happen to me...."
The moment Heeseung touched on that part of the subject, you sobbed uncontrollably against his neck.
"Heeeeeey, come on now. Nothing's even happen, why are you acting like that's a for sure thing?" he chuckles out as he kisses your forehead. "Listen..." Taking your hand in his, he continues.
"I'm not going anywhere......I'm not. I know this because I know what is living for me......you. I will never abandon you. Even if something did happen, you know i'm always going to be with you. You know how?"
Shaking your head, he brushes your hair away from your face.
"Moments like this baby. Every time we talk, touch, feel each other, love, eat, sleep, kiss, and when I fuck your brains out...." gripping onto your waist tightly, he presses his forehead against your own once more. "All the things we do, they never leave. So.......if there is ever a time where I am not physically here......you're always going to remember how i feel..." gliding his hand from your waist, he reaches down and gently trails it upwards under your skirt, his fingers reaching into your panties.
"You're going to remember my touch..." kissing your neck, he latches his mouth onto your soft spot under your ear, and rings the tip of his tongue around in slow circular motions.
"You're going to remember my scent...." with his free hand, he reaches behind your head and gently pushes your face inward, causing your nose to become burrowed in his thatch of dark long, shaggy hair, inhaling the scent of his cool-mint cologne and his shampoo.
"You'll also remember what I taste like...." placing a soft peck on the spot he was sucking on, he tilts his head up slightly and brings your head down to kiss him.
"And best of all......pretty baby.......you're going to remember what it feels like when I fuck you......when I love you." Shifting your body to face forward, your back completely spooned by his chest and groin as you both remained seated in the drivers side, he spreads your legs open by pushing our inner thighs apart. You were so caught up with the sensual four play, you hadn't realized that he tore off your panties. Unbuttoning your blouse, exposing your breasts, he shifts you up as he levels his length to align with your slit, before proceeding to enter inside you. Feeling full of his flesh, you moaned out as the overwhelming sense of pleasure hits you........taking you away from the abysmal depths of your fears and worries.
Steadying you in a reverse cowgirl position, filing you, his cock melts inside you as he begins thrusting slow and steady, picking up the pace as your walls become more moist.
"You feel me pretty baby?"
"Y-yes!"
"Yeah? You gonna remember me forever?"
"Y-yes...yes! He-Heeseung!"
"You gonna remember what this feels like?"
"Yes!"
"What does it feel like baby? Tell me."
"F-f......fe-feels......ssss......goood......soo....soo.goood....ugh!"
"Harder or faster baby?"
"ugh! both! please both!"
Thrusting repeatedly, your body falls limp as he holds you upright, with one arm wrapped around your waist, and his other hand shifting a grip between your neck and your exposed breast, he muffles your moans and screams with his mouth as he swallows every single bit of your precious tones.
"Gonna cum for me?"
"Y-ye.....yes!...yes.......ugh! He-Heeseung!"
"Yeah? You gonna cum because you're a good girl?"
"Mmm!mmmmmm....mmmhmmm!....ugh!"
"You my good girl?"
"Y....yes!!"
"Yeah you are.......now fucking cum on me. Let me feel it."
Adding more depth to each thrust, you gasped out your screams of pleasure as he rams his cock deep inside, separating new found walls and extracting the moisture out of your body. Reaching orgasm and releasing all over his member, your thighs shake relentlessly.
"Good girl.....my turn."
Cupping your lower tummy, he pushes in and feels his thick length as it slides in and out, he found it amusing how your sensitive body could take him like this, especially feeling it inside you as he was doing right now. Jacking his member deep inside you at a rapid and hard momentum, he finally reaches his moment and with one last punctured thrust, he bucks his hips upward as he shoves you down, mashing your bodies together as he releases inside and fills your body up.
Pulling your head back as he latches his mouth on your neck yet again, suckling as your body bounces rigorously from the tenacity of his performance.
Feeling the pleasure of his tainted love, you somehow were to understand his message clearly, all due to Heeseung extracting you from your fears......which he had done before, back when Samuel sent you his email......back when you and Heeseung came together for the first time.....the start of your guys story. Just as he did back then, he helped you to understand, that the reality of what life gives, is never necessarily the ending to your story. The more he kept pumping into you, the more you were reminded of that clarity. Yea sure, you still felt scared, but knowing that if at first you dont succeed....reach happiness.....or if things just dont work out, you can and should always, try-try again. A lesson you were always reminded of, all thanks to Heethan.
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Authors note: Lol, sooooooo...yeah this original draft did have some smut....and i was going to take it out but it was too crucial for me to do so. I hope you dont mind that. But, this chapter was originally drafted, back a few months ago. I had this thought in my head, since I have only taken a few college courses, and am about to start back up on it, I was feeling so dreadful and felt too nervous about doing well. I want to succeed in reaching my educational goals....but what also kind of bugged me was....will i still find time to write? I love writing, truly do. Mainly because it brings other people joy and brings out their most inner feelings. I had so much on my mind that time that i had began drafting this, but as i was writing it, i left it unfinished bc honestly, when i drafted heethan's message.....literally its like his voice was telling me what to write....i felt better. like it was a nice little reminder....realistic...very rational....and honest...but still positive and holds truth. there's a lot of things we can't control, but we should never give up. Its okay to be scared and to worry, that's natural, and that is exactly why people such as myself are here, writing these chapters and stories for you all because i know that there is such a thing called 'life' and sometimes....we just need a break from it to refresh ourselves. I know you have alot on your plate, but dont worry because everything will be more than fine. We have to pace ourselves, work hard, but also rest, and play from time to time. Eat and drink well, and finish strong. finish college, work with your mother and teach her to work with you, if you dont get the job you really want, no big deal. no matter what job you get, if its one you dont want, nothing lasts forever. just think that whatever you do now, it is only making you more marketable for the dream goal you have. I hope you continue strong because while you do have alot on your plate, you've been slaying....you've been killing it! and that's a major accomplishment in itself, last of year of college? woohoo! finish strong!
So now i should apologize for responding with the longest post ever lol. but i really hope this makes you feel better. Reading your message had reminded me of this piece and i am so glad you sent it to me because....looking at it now...and actually finishing it......this was something that was meant to be published and shared. bc it holds an important message for all of us. <3
Enjoyed this piece? Show love and treat your girl to a cup of coffee. ♥️ 
☕ Ko-fi: ko-fi.com/reinbow
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