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#fred weasley incorrect quotes
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Y/n: “Go fuck yourself!”
Fred: “Stop being a coward and do it for me!”
George, just trying to have lunch: “I hate this house.”
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Hermione: why are threesomes only for sex
Hermione: why can’t I join in on a couples argument if I want to
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apparentlytheproblem · 10 months
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d a t i n g m a t h e o r i d d l e
fandom- Harry Potter
pairing(s)- matheo riddle
a/n: i had fun with this cause my boy is'nt even cannon and i've derived this from the show deadly class (its absolutley lovley) and im so sorry i deleted the request baby with love, tiya
requested- yes
warnings- unexperienced writer, not thoroughly edited
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i think it would be a slowburn
i think it would take time for both of you to personally acknowledge what you both have
because Matheo Riddle is too high and mighty to have something as low and embarrassing as a highschool crush
my man will be in utter confusion why he wants to stare but looks away to act cool
like you both keep glancing at each other, for what?
y'all just ignoring each other just to avoid a zoo in your stomach
but like you know you're in love, you know he's in love, at this point everyone knows but y'all just don't admit it
because if you do, everything suddenly becomes to real
I have always had such an obsession with him
him, his face, his everything
his eyes are so pretty, they're just gorgeous and that freakin smile would just get me on my knees
I think even though he seems as the cold hearted bitch he's just so sweet to you
I've always had a thing for people who has a soft spot for me ugh
everyone hated him, loved him or wanted to be him
he was the it girl
I don't think he'd be much into playing quidditch as such
but he's pretty darn fit if i must say so myself
he'd be good in combat fighting
hence all the fights, but he'd be winnin my luv
he'd teach you how to play video games
he'd make you playlists and everything
once you both have reached that bond he'd be so obnoxious
he'd be loving, caring and everything
10/10 fr
he loves that everyone knows you're dating
this would be important as he gets jealous so easily
he's just yours and I love that
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severussnapemylove · 6 months
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Severus; "I assume you realise this kind of idiocy will not be tolerated in my class?"
Fred; "Is there another type of idiocy you'd be more comfortable with?"
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Conversation
Fred: You've come to the right people.
Ron: Uh, we didn't come to you at all.
Ginny: Yeah, you just walked in here without knocking...
George: There wasn't time for you guys to figure out you needed us. Fortunately, the walls are thin.
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blackbirdi · 2 months
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Harry Potter Incorrect Quotes #1
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Ron: *Thinking* There she is. Now I can tell Hermione to fuck off.
Ron: HEY, HERMIONE!
Hermione: What?
Ron: WHY DON’T YOU JUST FUCK ME!?
Hermione: *Eyes widening* What!?
Harry: *Trying not to burst out laughing* Confident.
Ron: *Blushing* Wait - no - I - I didn’t mean it like that!
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Ginny: *Staring at the ducks in the Black Lake* What would you call a duck with fangs?
Luna: A fuck.
Ginny: *Snickering* Luna, no!
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Hermione: I like you, Ron.
Ron: *Internally* Okay. You got this. Calm down. Just don’t fuck up.
Ron:
Hermione:
Ron: Yes.
Ron: FUCK.
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Ron: There’s three ways of doing things: the right way, the wrong way, and the Harry way.
Hermione: Isn’t that just the wrong way?
Ron & Harry: Yes … but faster!
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Hermione: *Banging on the dorm room door that Harry locked himself in* Come on, Harry, open up!
Harry: It all started when my mum and dad died..
Hermione: No, I meant—
Ron: Let him finish, Hermione.
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Ginny: *Pissed at someone who made fun of Luna* You have no idea what I’m capable of.
Some random asshole classmate: It honestly feels like I’m being threatened by a cupcake.
*Ginny proceeds to hexing the ever living fuck out of them.*
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Ron: *Gets on one knee*
Hermione: Oh my Merlin! It’s finally happening!
Ron: *Ties his shoelace*
Hermione: *Crying tears of joy* He’s not wearing fucking crocs anymore!
———————————
Ron: Hey, do you think I can fit fifteen marshmallows into my mouth?
Hermione: You’re a hazard to society.
Harry: And a coward. Do twenty!
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Ron: When I was younger I was grounded for a month because I came home late.
Fred: Well you deserved it!
Ron: ?
George: Getting everyone’s hopes up like that and then showing up again?
Fred: Unacceptable.
Ron:
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Ron: You promised you wouldn’t get me bees again!
The Twins: *From a distance* JUST OPEN IT!
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McGonagall: If I took a shot every time one of you made a bad decision, how intoxicated would I be?
Hermione: Maybe a little bit tipsy…
Ron: Wasted.
Harry: Dead.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Author’s note: I wonder if you can tell what my favourite ship is from these…
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myloveharry · 8 months
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Fred: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time? George: The car takes a screenshot. Ginny: For the last time, get the fuck out.
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Life With Fred Weasley Pt. 2
~•~
Fred: Hey Y/N?
Y/N: Yeah?
Fred: What's your favorite color of the alphabet? True or false?
Y/N:
Y/N: ...What.
~•~
Y/N: Are you a cuddler?
Fred: I'm a machine of death and destruction.
Y/N: ...
Fred: ...Yeah, I'm a cuddler.
~•~
Y/N: "I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response."
Fred: "Wow. They sound stupid."
Y/N: "But they’re not. They’re really smart, actually. Just dense."
Fred: "Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… 'Hey! I love you!' "
Y/N: "Yeah, I guess you’re right. Hey, Fred, I love you."
Fred: "See! Just say that!"
Y/N: "Holy fucking shit."
Fred: "If that flies over their head, then, sorry, Y/N, but they're too dumb for you."
Y/N: ...
~•~
If your url is crossed out, I'm unable to tag you.
@milivanili99 @fancy-pantaloons @turvi @zvummyummy @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @georgie-weasley @nighttimemoonlover @jsjcue @wzrd-wheezes @fredweasleyyyyy @hufflepuffie @alexistonks @princess-paramour @anvaaryn @lastwandastan @samshifts @asuperconfusedgirl @superduckmilkshake @imshiningjustforyou
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hxuse-xf-black · 9 months
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8-year-old Ron to Fred & George: I just want to be included. Ron, after being included: What the hell and fuck-
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Fred: Y/n, remember when you said you weren’t going to interfere with my love life?
Y/n: No, that doesn’t sound like me at all.
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severussnaperevived · 4 months
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Ron: "harry, that new teacher must be desperate for help"
Harry: "should we go help her?"
Ron: "no way mate Snape is helping her"
Hermione: "I feel sorry for her, we should go help, how did you know this though?"
Ron: "well I was walking past her room and I heard her moan yes yes right there just like that Severus, then she made some weird sound, then Snape said I'm coming and moaned"
Harry: "sounds awful we need to help her"
George: "mate trust us Snape is helping her just fine"
Fred: pulls out map "look I think we have just found a way out of detention"
George: " yes yes right there just like that"
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Fred: “That drawing is terrifyingly accurate”
Y/n: “Yeah it’s almost like I’m good at what I do���
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*Harry and Ron arguing*
Ron: imagine waking up and the first thing you have to grab is a pair of glasses
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apparentlytheproblem · 8 months
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s w e a t e r w e a t h e r
fandom- Harry Potter
pairing(s)- Draco Malfoy
a/n: so this one is based on a situation I've been in which had me bawling, crying and literally dying. I also saw something similar on Pinterest and I thought why not? requests are always open, love, teddy
requested- yes
warnings- none i hope
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You found yourself in the edge of the black lake sprawled on a fuzzy blanket with all sorts of delights, giggling and laughing with a blonde Slytherin over something absolutley preposterous, the idea or to be more specific, the rumors between you and a Malfoy.
The evening was crisp already, the last of sunset just a fading pale stripe in the sky. Evening shadows deepened into blue and purple. the wind was icy and withering, it sent chills down your back.
"c'mon, its almost time for bed luv"
love. love? did he just call me love? am I okay?
"yeah, let's head back" you assented.
a cold wind swept past the both of you, Draco's eyes bumped together in a scowl and his nystagmic eyes hadn't missed anything. All he was waiting for was an ask and maybe a pretty please too.
"would it be alright if i borrow your sweater?"
their eyes my god, as if I'd say no, fuckin damn
"it would be more than alright sweetheart"
fuck. sweetheart? is he tryna kill me? what does he want? oh god
His fingers gripped the ends of the sweater covering his abdomen and quickly pulled his sweater of green and silver and handed it to her.
it was loose to say the least, but you loved it almost as much as he loved seeing you in it. it smelt of mahogany apples which he loved so much.
Draco towered over, trying to roll the sleeves for you, and grabbed your palm and began to walk as if he wasn't absolutley panicking inside.
"it smells like you"
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crackishincorrecthp · 5 months
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Harry: Wouldn't that be funny if someone gave Umbridge something that would make her swear randomly and she doesn't even notice she's swearing? Fred: We can definitely do something like that for you, Harry! George: We got you! *The next day, DADA Class, 5th year* Umbridge: Fuck, class! Students: Umbridge: I thought we were already fucking clear about it, when I say fucking "morning class" you say it fucking back! Students: *Look at each other* Students: Fuck, professor! Umbridge: No, no, that's not fucking it motherfuckers! Slytherin: But that's what you said when you came in! Umbridge: No, I didn't, motherfucker Slytherin: Slytherin: Okay, you do you I guess
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overheard-at-hogwarts · 11 months
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Lee: It's nice of your mum to let me stay here. Fred: Nah... George: She just likes us hanging out with you because she thinks it'll keep us out of jail.
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