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#full circle new beginnings etc etc
thedeadthree · 2 years
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the flames are all long gone but the pain lingers on (x.x.x)
ayrenn urthemiel — the exiled painted phoenix, once commander of plaithus; the exile
pinterest // playlist // @exilethegame
#oc: ayrenn urthemiel#if: the exile#the exile if#exile the game#interactive fiction#*myedits#*ocedits#inspired by gabbys CUTEST edit! this template was the loveliest to work with and i cant wait to do more loves with it! ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥🥺#SHES HEREE HER INTRO EDIT IS HEREE#i have been full exile on the brain no thoughts head empty etc etc and ayrenn has been occupying my headspace since I finished reading! ❤️‍🔥#amor fati means lover of one’s fate or lover of fate in latin! i thought it would be fitting for her destiny? the road she’s embarking on?#the dates are all sort of based on the symbolism of the seasons and astrology!#spring being the symbolism for a new beginning as she’s exiled from plaithus! the end brings a beginning!#winter being the closing season before the spring! her ending as an orphan in the streets to being a royal!#and! that when she returns to plaithus it comes full circle! in the winter she was introduced to royal life and the ending of her time as ->#and orphan and then it’s full circle when she ends her exile yet embarks on a new quest to end fate once and for all! so the end of an end?#the only one that isn’t based on a season is when she begins her relationship with sabir! that one was bc i thought it would be cute ->#if they became a thing on her birthday 🤍😌 BC IM A SUCKER FOR PAIN THE HEARTACHE THATS LOVING SOMEONE LOSING THEM AND THE RELIEF OF REUNION!#i think? for ayrenn her endgame will be sabir! but i also absolutely adore her and nikke so we’ll see!#WHEN SABIR KEPT MENTIONING HOME HER COMING HOME THE HOME SYMBOLISM OF LOVERS I KNEWW I WAS DONEE FOR ❤️‍🔥🤧#(i do! have another oc that im planning for a nikke romance though!)#as I was reading and thinking about ayrenn as a character her dynamic with sabir was just *MUAH* im in love!#she’s wanting her life back in plaithus! i think as angry as she is the only thing that is keeping her from burning plaithus is sabir so!#RUN DONT WALK READ THIS IF I WAS AN EMOTIONAL WRECK THE STORY THE WORLDBUILDING AND WRITING IS PHENOMENAL! ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥#the stats are as well kind of? what i would imagine her stats being towards the end of the story? ❤️‍🔥🥺
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jennifer-jeong · 1 month
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[Smut] [x AFAB!Reader] Experience
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CONTENT
How would your sweet boyfriend be in bed after they gain some experience from you? NSFW, 18+, smut, afab (assigned female at birth) reader, feminine reader implied (calls you “good girl”), fingering, penetration, creampie, praise, CHARACTERS ARE 18+
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FUSHIGURO MEGUMI, OKKOTSU YUTA, Nanami Kento, Gojo Satoru, XIAO, KAEDEHARA KAZUHA, HAYAKAWA AKI
I headcanon that they’re initially pretty new to all this but they’ve always been tooth-rotting-ly sweet, praising you etc. However, as they get more experienced with you, they start to get a bit more vocal and rough… And you love it.
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Word Count: 905
You giggle as your boyfriend tosses you onto the bed, your head resting on the plush pillow. He positions himself between your legs and snakes his hands up your shirt. He slowly makes his way up your body until his face sits above your chest and his hands are squeezing the bottom of your mounds.
“So pretty… I never get tired of seeing them” he says as he pulls your shirt and bra up. You whimper as he attaches his mouth to your hardening bud. Your giggles turning into quiet moans as he plays with your sensitive tits. Your body starts to burn. The fine hairs on your skin rising as goosebumps cover you.
You pull at his hair as he pleasures you, knowing that he loves the stimulation and the dull stinging. He moans onto your chest as he thumbs your other nipple.
When he detaches, he quickly smashes his lips onto yours as he undoes his pants. You properly slip off your top and bra as he yanks his shirt off in a swift motion before taking his pants off.
You quickly return to moving your lips together, tongues quickly entering the dance as well. Your tongues rub clockwise circles together that have you both moaning.
He kisses down your neck and his hands latch onto your waistband. He pulls off your pants and panties together. His fingers quickly find your clit, giving it a few circles before dipping two fingers into your drooling cunt.
“Mmph! Feels s’good” you mewl.
“God you’re so wet, all for me?” He says as he kisses the inside of your thigh.
You whimper in reply and he starts massaging the spongey part in you, drawing deeper moans from you.
He never really says it but your moans are so heavenly to him. It turns him on beyond belief and he loves that it’s because he’s making you feel good.
He leans forward to give you some more kisses and you reach between your legs to palm him through his boxers. He groans at the stimulation he’s been waiting for. His tip already leaky from just hearing you moan. It leaves a small wet spot on the fabric.
“Want me inside sweetheart?” he asks, muffled against your skin as he presses kisses into your chest.
“Y-yes please… Nngh fill me up baby,” you sob with his fingers still pumping into you. Your response making him groan and his cock twitch.
He pulls them out and wipes your arousal onto his aching cock, his boxers long discarded. He grabs the back of your thigh with one hand as he positions himself to your entrance with the other.
His tip pops in easily and you both let out a groan. He fucks you a bit with just his tip. You mewl and throw your head back, feeling the beginning of his girthy length. As he eases in, you choke out high pitched whines due to how much he stretches you out. You feel so full when he eventually bottoms out. It feels so good it makes you both light headed.
“Fuckkk, missed being inside you baby… I could do this all fucking day.” He groans
“Mmmhh… wish we could. Y’make me feel s’full ngh-”
His veiny shaft gives you the delicious friction you’ve been craving as he gives you shallow thrusts to help you adjust to his size. He doesn’t wait very long though, you make him so needy after all.
He starts a quick pace, his hands pushing the backs of your thighs to your chest. He knows this position helps him massage your g-spot easily. He will occasionally fully push in, stay there, and grind his hips in a circular motion to give you some amazing stimulation. It makes your core burn with pleasure and always brings you closer to your high quickly.
“Feel good?” He asks through panting, his nails starting to dig into your skin.
“S’good baby… mmph!-“
The sound of skin slapping and the filthy wet noises you two were making quickly fills the room. It makes your face burn but also turns you on. Your boyfriend, however, is absolutely drunk off the sound and stimulation. It's just something about your breathy moans of his name and the slick sound of his cock pulling on your gummy walls that drives him crazy.
"Ah-! Getting c-close baby..." You whine out.
“Yeah? Mmph- Gonna cum? S-such a good girl.” He groans and you nod quickly while moaning in response.
“F-fuck, I’m gonna cum too,” his thrusts getting irregular as your jaw falls slack. Your tongue lolling out slightly, expression fucked out as you approach your high.
His thumb finds your clit and you tumble over the edge, tremors passing through your body as your orgasm washes over you. Your moans are uncontrollable as you babble out “thank you” to him for helping you ride your high.
Your slick walls clamping down impossibly hard on him making him come apart just as quick. His waves of pleasure hit him and he lets out a few high pitched sobs before groaning in a deep voice. He stills inside you as he cums, rocking in and out slowly as his whole body twitches. Thick ropes of cum fill you up and add to the stimulation during your orgasm.
You both catch your breaths, enjoying the afterglow.
“You’re getting a lot better at this hm?” You tease.
“Well I have a pretty good partner to teach me,” he smiles. “It’s also motivating to learn when it's a win-win situation.”
You giggle at his cute words, reaching up to caress his cheek. “God, I love you so much.”
“I love you too sweetheart,” he says wholeheartedly as he kisses you again before cleaning up.
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Thank you for reading!
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|| MASTERLIST <3 ||
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seattlesellie · 9 months
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Would you ever write something with gf Ellie first time ever degrading you?? :O I feel like she’d be so subtle at first and shy but then realizes you are into it and she starts going further and calling you a slut etc etcccc I feel like it’d be so hot to hear he all shy only to end up mocking reader🤓🤓
warnings: doing it while your parents are sleeping in the next room, little degradation, strap on sex ‘n bad writing.<3
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full, stuffed— is exactly how you felt. when ellie has the 8 inch silicon cock snug inside of your gummy, tight walls, it’s hard to imagine you’ve ever been empty, or, well… that you ever will be again.
this rooms walls are paper thin, and you know your parents could hear if you dared to screech or to moan an octave higher. for ellie, for ellie it’s easier because she groans and pants, and she can do it quietly enough because she’s not the one getting railed deep inside her childhood bedroom. before you and ellie arrived, you made a promise. “no sex until were back home”, and hell, you even made her use her pinky.
but now— your juices are flowing down your thighs and her thighs and it all sticks together in a mushy, slippery little mess.
when ellie plunges herself deeper, hitting the bottom of your cervix with the light purple, mushroom like tip of her strap— you frantically yelp. “nggh… el— s’too deep i ‘cant—“, ellie shushes you immediately; brings her pointer finger to the plush of your lips and zips them together. “shh shh… fuck, gotta be quiet”,
she warns you. she cares. she’s such a sweetheart.
your panicked expression, the way your eyeballs nearly pop out when she pushes it in deeper on purpose, makes ellie know that she’s going to have to use more than just her finger to shut you up. another whine escapes your lips, and this time, ellie slaps her entire clammy palm on your quivering mouth. you attempt to peel it off with your hand, but ellie knows better. the other hand, her unused one— maneuvers itself down to your sensitive, split open pussy, and her thumb begins lightly circling your clit while maintaining her brutal pace. ellie knows that whenever she touches on the sensitive little nub for the first time— especially when it’s been neglected for over 3 minutes now, your body freezes entirely. so you don’t slap her hand away (you can’t), but you squeal out a muffled sound of her name. “mphhllie!”
you squealed. you actually squealed, and every time she slams it in deeper— you squeal again, like a puppys brand new chew toy, right out of the box.
for you, it’s absolutely embarrassing. it’s embarrassing because it’s only been 6 minutes thats she’d been fucking you for and she’s already rendered you a squeaky, squirming mess.
for ellie, however, it’s melodic. in fact, it makes ellie’s puffy clit throb and makes her toes curl up inside her white socks.
to you, you sound pathetic.
to ellie, you sound like a raging slut. most importantly, her raging slut. she won’t ever say it though, but god— how she wants to.
her thumbs beginning to slip, going side to side instead of her calculated circles, and she’s starting to lose it. you know she does, because everything she says comes out through gritted teeth. “i swear… you gotta keep it down, babe” she whispers, kissing you softly on your cheeks to calm you down. for some reason, that sweet action makes you squeeze around her strap and she swears she just felt it.
“almost there… huh, pretty girl? you almost there?”, you nod— and she nods with you. “mhm… you can give it to me… know you want to, shit— give it to me”. ellie slips out, slaps the tip on top of your aching clit and plunges herself deep again. this time, when you feel it slip back inside, you moan several octaves higher. ellie whimpers, because ellie can’t help it anymore, and then—
a door cracks open. not yours, thank god— but your parents’ bedroom door. you freeze, ellie freezes, and you can feel her heartbeat on top of your chest.
two light knocks on your door. “sweetheart, everything alright? i heard something” your father rasps, and it’s his sleepy voice that tells you he actually fell asleep but woke up because of your noises.
ellie shakes her head rapidly, pupils all blown out. “say something!” she whispers frantically. she’s still inside of you and when you mean to get her off, she accidentally falls on top of you and the strap buries itself inside deep. “gah—‘f ‘fine dad! don’t ‘c, come inside we’re studying!”
thankfully, he accepts it— and walks off.
leisurely, absolutely ignoring what had just happened, ellie slams into you in an awful, torturous, delicious slow pace. whenever she moves, your wet squelching sounds fill the air and it’s disgusting.
“this is… all your ‘f— fault!” you yelp, and ellie giggles. to that, you wrap your legs around her back and push her in deeper. the base of her strap grazes her clit and sends a shockwave through her body. she can’t move, paralyzed— so you move her yourself. she looks you in the eyes, and if she can’t use her body, she might as well use her mouth.
“shit, s’not my fault you sound like a slut” she murmurs. the nickname makes you squeeze around her girth and another sweet droplet of your slick runs down your thighs to the seam of your ass. you shut your eyes, trying to think of a clever comeback— maybe she’s the slut. all that comes out, is an incredibly silly sentence, one that makes ellie nearly cum from nothing. “you made me this… w— way”
that smile that’s plastered on her pretty, flushed face is triumphant. “made you a slut, huh?” she rasps, and you cry out— fuck, she thinks. you like this. “who’s slut?” she asks, it’s meaningless, it really is because she knows.
“your… oh fuck!— your slut”
“ellie’s slut?”
you hum, nearly reaching your orgasm as she nearly reaches hers as well. ellie’s thighs shake and her vision is blurry— but she needs to tell you this, so she does.
“be a fuckin’ slut, and cum on this dick”
not fuckdrunk ellie would never say this. sober ellie would never say this. but the ellie whos inside of you now, the ellie who’s slut you are— yeah, she’s gonna say it. more than once, too.
when it’s over, she turns to face you between aimless, hushed giggles.
“hey slut, get me some water? m’thirsty” you gasp, and the pillow you throw lands on her face and nearly breaks her nose. (<3)
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aicosu · 8 months
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Guys, I hate to do this.
Any of you who know me in any circle know that I'm a very professional, very private lady who hates any sort of disc horse breeds that might give me a headache. But this one is important, and my goal here is the integrity and reputation of artists.
For my credentials: I have been a part of five zines in the past. Two I moderated, and one I ran, created, laid out, printed, and shipped in its entirety.
So anyway:
HELLCHEER ZINE BULLSHIT
I joined Hellcheer and the Kindred Freaks Zine very late. Well, after sign ups, check-ins, etc. I saw it was happening in april-ish and shot a DM to the twitter to join. I did both a full art page and a cosplay page.
At the time, the server was quiet but kind. We got updates on the number of orders and books being made.
@Lawless is the runner of the Zine. They created and organized it. They are in charge of the main emails, the selling website, the orders, the shipping, and the funds. (To be clear, this level of sole responsibility is not ABNORMAL in a zine. And is not always an issue.)
@Valerie is the 'social media' mod. They are in charge of managing announcements and answering questions on Twitter and Tumblr. Please keep in mind: No one wants anything but a fast and easy recovery for both Lawless and their mother. Medical emergencies, heck—LIFE happens. It's always okay to put a hiatus on anything, even product with money, in order to take care of yourself and family. Every single contributor only wants them to be clear in what they need and how we can help.
So lets break down what's happening.
Back in May, Lawless went radio silent on the status of books and merch coming in. Another contributor and I, @Toguchin, start dming Lawless to make sure everything is on track. They come back after a week and apologize for being MIA, explaining that their mom got sick. We thank them for all their hard work and wish them and their mom well.
On July 15th, after contributors and customers inquire on delays to meeting the announced shipping deadline, Lawless makes a twitter post saying shipping has started and contributor copies will be happening. They proceeded to go MIA from the server discord and have been since.
The following week, contributors and customers discover that shipping HAS NOT started. Labels have been created and printed, but nothing appears to be in transit at all.
Toguchin and I started getting reached out to by customers worrying their packages are lost. We report this to the zine server to NO RESPONSE. Except @Ashlee, the discord mod who also has heard nothing.
July 20th to 22nd with customers complaining and theorizing a scam in mind; Toguchin and I propose that PDFs be given out to assure and apologize for delays.
We as a server discover a few things: 1. We cannot access the list of buyers at all in order to email apology zines because Lawless did not share the account information with anyone. 2. We cannot access the main email for the same reason. 3. Valerie, the social media mod, deleted discord and distanced themselves from the Hellcheer fandom and has not been checking the Twitter or tumblr, or discord notifications since May.
Ashlee and Ichikun contact Valerie to sign on.
I made a new email and said fuck it, we need to do something to assuage fears, let them send receipts to honor their zines. Valerie didn't know what to post or say or how to answer everyone, so I gave them a copy paste.
Still no words from Lawless but hoping for the best knowing the have a medical emergency, Ashlee and I begin answering the new email for PDFs, but cant help people change addresses or give them any update!!!
Throughout the weeks mods and contributors ping Lawless constantly asking if they need any help! Any help at all, answering emails, changing order addresses, heck a few of us ask if we can pick up the books and packages and ship stuff for them so they can hands off the project and take care of their mom. No response.
We send message after message saying if Lawless can share picture proof, that would be great cause scam theories and chargebacks are starting. BUT ALSO, we let Lawless know we and customers will ABSOLUTELY UNDERSTAND delays if they just communicate it. That if they post in server and on Twitter that shipping needs to wait a month or two, no one will mind. No responses.
July 31, Lawless makes a Twitter update with comments disabled that they are shipping ALL packages that monday with a picture of packages. They also call Valerie privately and tell the issue that USPS refuses to pick up shipments from Lawless has, and they can't leave their mothers side from the post office. They also claim they can only deliver ten packages at a time at the post when they go. *USPS has no such rules. Me and other mutuals who run shops have never had such a problem.
A week later, we realize that customers and our packages are still not in transit. Labels printed only. Most of us assume all packages are just label printed and sitting at Lawless' house.
We beg for updates from Valerie or Lawless. Valerie doubles down on Lawless old reasonings and also officially goes MIA until present day.
Throughout August, USA packages get delivered. A few more updates are made straight to Twitter and Tumblr with comments off. Radio silence in server.
As packages arrive, we all become aware from people's posts and pictures that random Stranger Things Art Stickers are included. No credit to any artist is given? No contributor is responsible for this art. These are suspected to be BOUGHT from Amazon. STOLEN arts amazon sellers resell in packs. NO contributor is okay with this!!! Valerie responds with no response at all.
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As of now:
No response to missing digital copies. Ashlee and I cannot give out any without receipts because we have no access to buyers list. Nor can we answer missing packages inquiries cause we have no info. International packages unaccounted for. SCRUNCHIES FREE OR OTHERWISE UNACCOUNTED FOR. Zero word on contributor copies. Zero word on donation status. Zero word on generated profit or book and shipping cost. No way to verify funds at all. No word from Lawless to contributors since July 15. From Valerie since the 31st.
Some notes:
Turning off twitter comments was NEVER what any one of us wanted. A ZINE LAYOUT was never shared. So until people had them in hand or in PDF none of us realized that the credits DO NOT POINT TO ANY SOCIAL MEDIA. All of our usernames are handle-less? This was extremely disappointing. This one matters to me: Our FanEdit artist was not aware their work was not getting a full page. Again no pre-layout was shared. So their work is tiny and in the margins of the front and back. That's not okay. All of us wanted to help in any way we could. NONE of us doubt Lawless intentions or emergencies. But lying, misleading, non-communicating and turning off comments are all things we did not consent to. All of us only wanted a cordial, honest response. None of us actually cared about delays as much as we did communications. There has been many noticeable times Lawless has been online, posting privately or otherwise, even active on Discord and has not reached out.
Why make a post:
Customers should know contributors fought for them. That we did everything we could and our reputation as artists in the fandom shouldn't be tarnished cause two creators decided to disappear. Contributors should get their copies. Many of us BOUGHT bundles. I've been in five zines and every single one gave out free contributor copies WITH merch!!
I'm also attaching all server screenshots for integrity. I'm in half a mind to release the zine PDF publicly, for free, for everyone at this point. I personally think it's only fair since many are still missing just that. But I do not want to insult anyone who paid for just the PDF regardless of the potential contribution to charity. But it's really up to customers, not me.
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neopuppy · 2 years
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Beatbox (M)
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preview: “Hey hey, you a new transfer?”
The boy next to you appears horrified, offended with his jaw hung loose. Round eyes more pronounced behind bifocal frames, he splutters, licking at his prominent two front teeth. “I’ve been in this class all year! You transferred into my grade! 10 years ago!”
“Huh?” You shrug, prodding the inside of your cheek in thought. “Really? Weird.”
“Y-yo-you have to be joking!”
“Anyway,” you flick his chin, smirking. “I need a tutor.”
pairing: Jaemin x female reader
word count: 6k+
genre: college AU, nerdy Jaemin, y/n a meanie, crackish, one shot, it’s filth…yay nana day🥳💕
smut warnings: switching, oral, grappling(headlocks, chokeholds, thigh crushing, full nelson, pinning, etc), degradation, competitive rough sex, breeding, spit, use of ‘bunny’, submission
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‘If you fail your political history course, I have to sit you out for the upcoming season.’
“Who even studies this shit.” The sheet filled with requirements to continue competing with your varsity wrestling team wrinkles between your fingers.
Three of your courses blared at you, circled with vibrant red sharpie to add more threat behind your coaches words.
‘If you don’t pick up your fucking slack asap, say goodbye to competing in the championship finals.’
No amount of kicking at your locker and swinging your backpack around on your way to class assisted in relieving any of your frustration.
If only you had a dick, fat chance any guy on the boys wrestling team had to worry about their grades. Everyone knew the dean favored his beloved male athletes, bragged and boasted about across states through various top leading universities.
“A tutor” you murmur, rolling your eyes. Reprimanded and put on time-out until you have at the least found a tutor. Either miss out on one of the biggest tournaments in the upcoming weeks, or get your ass a tutor to help you pass your mid-terms.
Someone smart, obviously, a full fledged nerd with their nose buried in a book.
Hmm, no, not Renjun… he hadn’t even made top of your class last year.
Definitely not that pervert Haechan that got caught behind the bleachers jerking off..
Glancing around, you begin to weigh your options.
Jeno, he’s a brain, but he still had tape holding his glasses together after you snapped them in half two months ago. His fault for getting in your way and making you late to practice.
A bleached blonde head of hair and a pile of books masking your potential essential nerd grabs your eye.
The communist manifesto hovers before his face, allowing you enough of a view of thin rimmed silver lenses and eyebrows furrowed deep in concentration. Sneakily you move over to the closest seat near him, silently rejoicing when you spot a pocket protector sitting on his chest.
Perfect.
“Hey hey, you a new transfer?”
The boy next to you appears horrified, offended with his jaw hung loose. Round eyes more pronounced behind bifocal frames, he splutters, licking at his prominent two front teeth. “I’ve been in this class all year! You transferred into my grade, 10 years ago!”
“Huh?” You shrug, prodding the inside of your cheek in thought. “Really? Weird.”
“Y-yo-you have to be joking!”
“Anyway,” you flick his chin, smirking. “I need a tutor.”
The blonde before you grows more indignant, fumbling to set a bookmark in place and fully turn to face you.
“Why would I help you?!” He scoffs, pushing his glasses higher up the bridge of his nose. “You pulled down my pants at our 8th grade dance! In front of the entire school!”
“That was you?!”
“And then you poured punch on me! And told everyone I pissed myself!” He stammers, tapping one of his loafers with each shake of his leg.
“There’s no way that was you!” You giggle, waving him off. “That was this dork Jaem—“
“Jaemin!” He hisses, ripping off his glasses to fix you with a steely look. “Me!”
“Oh my god?? Why are you blonde?” You snort, reaching to stroke the peach fuzz decorating the side of his face. “You need to bleach this too furball.”
Jaemin rustles, smacking your hand away with his lips pursed together, appearing more and more perturbed by everything you say. “Don’t touch me!”
Letting out a sarcastic filled coo you lean in closer, pinching at his cheek. “Aw, did I upset the bunny?”
His eyelids push so far back that you’re surprised when his eyes stay put, expecting for them to fall out and bounce on his notebook.
“What did you just call me?” He says incredulously, grasping onto your wrist tightly.
“Damn, this nerd has some strength,” you cringe, shaking him off. Weakly punching at his arm only to feel overtaken with disbelief again, digging a finger in as you pout wondering why he feels so firm, too firm for a nerd..
“I said stop touching me!” He glowers, forcefully ripping your arm away. “Go away! I do not want to help you in any way!”
“Aw come onnnn, pleaseeee bunny?”
“Stop calling me that!” He hisses, inching closer to speak sternly. “Why do you keep calling me that?!”
Sticking out the top row of your teeth, you tap at the first two and proceed to form bunny ears with your index and middle finger. “You act like one too, vicious and temperamental..”
“Listen,” he snaps before your face, nearly chopping your nose in the process. “I am not going to tutor you! and stop calling me a bunny!”
Hope seems lost until you notice a crimson flush spiking up from his nape. Jaemin’s gaze bounces, clearing his throat as he reaches for his book, faint shades of pink burn at his cheeks, reaching up to the corners of his nose.
“Aww, you like it!” You laugh, scooting closer for your leg to drape over his. “Hear me out bunny, if you help me out, I’ll help you out.”
“I don’t need nor want your help.” He mutters, refusing to meet your stare any longer. Aware of the blush taking over his face destroying the facade he continues on with.
“That’s not true, and you know how I know that?”
Sighing, his chin dips in, frustrated by his curious subconscious. “How.”
“Who else was going to let you know that your fuzzy sideburns give away that the curtains do not match the drapes?” You joke, digging your elbow into his side. Breaking into a round of giggles at the sight of his front teeth poking out again with his mouth hung open.
“Listen, bunny boy, my coach is up my ass about finding a tutor. Just swing by at the end of practice so I can tell him someone with a 4.0 gpa has agreed to help me.” You plead, squeezing at his arm again with confusion. “Why do you feel like that?”
Jaemin throws a hissy fit, shimmying out of your grip once again while snarling in a much too cute way for you to take seriously. “No! Now go away you damn cretin!”
“Hear me out!” You grunt, rolling your eyes. “I know the captain of the football team gives you a swirly every Monday morning.”
Jaemin’s jaw drops yet again, beginning to hate himself for not just getting up and moving away. Starting to find one of your bullies attractive had to make him sick in the head somehow. “Why do you know that?! You just asked me if I transferred!”
“Uh.. selective memory.” You shrug, playing it off with a wide smile. “Anyway, what if I can get him to stop?”
His ears perk up at that, flitting a shifty gaze your way. “You can’t.”
“Oh, trust me, I can. He’s wanted me to suck his dick since the first day of Uni.” You nod mischievously, wiggling your eyebrows.
Jaemin slumps deeper into his seat, contemplating how late it’s making him, having to rush to lecture after rinsing and restyling his hair.
“You know, toilet water is terrible for a fried bleached scalp.”
“My hair is not fried!” He barks, nose scrunched up adorably in irritation.
“You’re right, it looks great..” you note, testing a silky tuft of locks between two fingers. “Kind of weird for a nerd to care this much about his looks though..”
Jaemin jerks away, glaring at you for the name. “Applying for internships has been hard..”
“Ahh, well the blonde looks great on you at least.” Giving him a thumbs up, you invade his space once again. “So, how about it? No more toilet diving if you tutor me??”
He sighs again, expression full of thought as he pouts and aggressively taps at the end of his pen.
“Fine.” His shoulders drop, feeling tense and uncomfortable by the proximity you’ve kept up for much for too long at his side now. Not missing the way your fingers kneaded at his bicep earlier or the intrigued ‘hmm’ tickling at the back of your throat.
“Great! Come by the gym at 4!”
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Jaemin trudges toward the gym hall, retelling the memories of his first year when Haechan had convinced him to join him and peep on the girls wrestling team practice from behind the bleachers.
His throat dries, regretting every life decision he’s ever made as he steps inside and spots you choking another girl down onto the ground under your armpit. Deeply swallowing, he settles at the corner of the bleachers uncomfortably. Unable to even pretend that he’s not fascinated by the way you grunt and scream like a wild animal with a mouthguard in as you throttle your opponent down.
Jaemin hates the way he has to tug at his collar, clearing his throat while blinking away to calm his excitement. This was all Haechan’s fault, always going on about how hot wrestling porn is, especially when the girl in the video starts off strong only to lose and get annihilated by a huge cock.
“I’ve never wanted anything more.” His friend said while peering through small open spaces from behind a set of bleachers. “Look at that one.”
Haechan nudges his chin in your direction, grappling down your opponent with a shout and slamming your fists on your chests like a beast. “Bet she would be so fun to fucking ruin.”
Jaemin hates that his friend was right. Even now as he watches you jump up from the ground showing off your flexibility with a cocky grin; he can’t help but think about it. How exhilarating and hot it would be to experience you trying to take him down. Fight him with that same smile stretching your mouth in a crass way, disgusting how full of yourself you are. The way you walk around thinking you’re hot shit and no one can touch you.
Too deep in his head, Jaemin manages to miss you walking right up to him. Shaking out of his thoughts as you let out a boisterous obnoxious laugh and point at his lap.
“Are you seriously fucking hard from watching me practice!?” You shout out much too loud, humiliating him as your teammates all glance over and begin to laugh.
“Ugh. Fucking nerds are all the same.” Your friend taunts passing by on her way to the locker room. “Just like that other one that thinks we can’t hear him busting a nut behind the bleachers.”
Punching at his shoulder, you laugh more, clutching your stomach and wiping at tears before they can run down your cheeks. “That’s so cute bunny, you wanna wrestle me or something?”
Jaemin’s mouth opens. Opens and slams shut repeatedly, lost for words as he drags a heated gaze over your sweat soaked uniform. Spending too much time admiring the fold between your thighs wedged up nicely between your…
“Dude, what the fuck? Quit staring at my vag like that.” You punch him again, whistling for your coach to come over and meet your ‘tutor’.
Jaemin jumps up, standing by your side with false confidence. “Maybe I do!”
“What was that now, bunny?”
“Stop calling me that!” He huffs, balling up his fist. “I could wrestle you, and I’ll beat you.”
“Excuse me?!” You snort, fixing him with amused wide eyes. “Are you serious right now?”
“I am.” He says, nodding and pursing his lips to appear tough. “If you pass your mid-term, then you owe me a match.”
Nerves rise fast as your coach approaches, spluttering, too stunned to think over what he’s said. “You have a thing for girls beating your ass?”
Jaemin’s nose twitches, eyes thinning as he shoves against your side. “We have a deal or what?”
“Fine!” You panic, rushed to answer while waving at your coach. “I got a tutor!”
Between fake smiles and quickly falsifying study sessions, you end up actually taking on tutoring lessons.
“Why do you have a wrestling mat in your basement?” Jaemin asks one day, following you through your house to the second room you have taken over for practice purposes.
“The better to wrestle you with.” You wink, nudging his side. “I’m studying hard just to whoop your cute blonde bunny ass.”
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“What happens if I lose?” Jaemin questions, cracking his toes against the wrestling mat laid out in your basement.
“What do you mean ‘what if?’, you still think you have even the slightest chance to beat me?” You sneer. Too cocky for your own good as you squat with your legs stretched to loosen your hips. Predicting you will need the extra help if things go as you’ve planned.
Jaemin’s gaze shifts, bouncing around the room he’s helped you study in over the past couple of weeks. Toying with the zipper cool against his throat as he realizes how ridiculous this situation is.
“Listen, I don’t think this is a good idea.” He reiterates, briskly eyeing the loose sweats hiding what he assumes is your spandex wrestling uniform.
“It’s okay to lose, bunny.“ you wink, standing up to discard the zip-up hoodie covering up a skin-tight fitted one piece. Snug in all the right places to have his throat visibly bob the second he spots your smooth skin, lathered in lotion you noticed he seemed to enjoy the scent of the last time you wore it during a study session.
“I’ll go easy on you.” With a coy smile you shove down your bottoms just enough to give him peeks of your naked hips. The majority of the lycra fabric has bunched up, riding up your ass in a lewd way that makes Jaemin clear his throat, averting his focus to the ground.
“I truly have no idea how you passed your mid-term.” Jaemin rolls his eyes, stretching back his shoulders as he reaches to unzip his sweater.
The prideful grin bunching your cheeks slowly falls apart, drooping comically the more he unveils planes of flesh; sculpted and carved to perfection from long hours spent lifting weights.
Jaemin lets his jacket slip down his arms, standing proud with a blank face as your jaw hangs. It takes more restraint than he imagined to control the twitch pinching at his mouth, avoiding the intense stare tracing from his lengthy throat, pronounced Adam’s apple, broad shoulders and thick chest trapped between bulging biceps.
“What the fuck.” You announce, breathlessly. “What the fuck dude?!”
Jaemin shrugs, breaking into a smile that scrunches his nose, pushing his glasses up higher between his brows. “You’ll go easy on me, right?”
Jaemin’s buff. A fucking buff nerd that’s never once mentioned that he took up absorbing protein shakes like water and bulking up at the gym after long days filled with studying and schoolwork.
“Hey.” He pushes your chin before your tongue can loll out like a thirsty dog. “Try not to look so shocked, it’s kind of rude.”
“Why—” you gulp, finally snapping out of it enough to toe off your sweats and kick them aside. “Why the fuck are you this yolked?!”
Jaemin shrugs, unzipping his bottoms to further make you shrivel, lowering his jeans to show off the tiniest pair of spandex shorts. They dig into his upper thigh, cutting at the flexed muscle framing the thick shape between.
“Oh come on!”
He chuckles, bending over to strip the rest of his clothing off. Balling up his outfit to throw aside, he stands straight in all his glory, cut and ripped leading up to a soft round face and doe eyes, front teeth digging into his lower lip.
“You’re fucking with me.” You utter, cleaning off imaginary drool from your chin.
“Not yet..” Jaemin cocks a brow, cracking his neck side to side. “I got tired of not fighting back, so I started working out.”
He shrugs, done explaining more when he recalls that you are one of the many who tormented him over the years. Making fun of him without care, invisible to you unless it was to pick on him.
“That makes sense.” You murmur to yourself, kicking out your legs before settling in a lowered stance, preparing to take down your larger opponent. “Guess I won’t be taking it very easy on you after all.”
“Won’t you spare me?” He smirks, bending at his knees with his arms lifting to grab you and tackle you down.
Jaemin gulps to contain his nerves, thankful for the shadow falling on his glasses beneath the dim lighting fanned throughout the room. His throats already began to dry, flitting over your breasts obscenely squeezed out, shoved together creating perfect perky fat mounds ready to be choked between his fingers.
Time to size up your competitor goes to complete shit. Jaemin’s thick beyond comprehension. Corded muscles strain up his thighs to narrow hips and a tight little waist dipping in such an absurd way. His frame widens ridiculously, more ridiculous than the situation you’ve put yourself in as a mere joke.
Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.
Licking at your lips, you begin to circle him, following suit as he mimics your motions.
Inhaling a deep breath, you meet his gaze, lowering your chin for intimidation. “Hey, Jaemin.”
“Huh?”
You almost feel sorry attacking his weak spot by throwing him off. It’s playing dirty, but you know there’s no better way to get him plastered on his back. Tackled down onto the mat with your face buried in his chest, Jaemin lets out a gust of air. Caught off guard as you ram him down in one fell swoop.
He grunts, the back of his head bouncing off the mat; realizing he should have suffered itchy burning eyeballs and opted for contact lenses today.
“Amateur,” you groan, tethering his forearms together. Each muscle lining your back screams, flexing as you attempt to take control by slotting your hips against his. “Shouldn’t be s-so cocky—“
Jaemin growls, huffing out another breath to blow his bangs off of his forehead. Jerking his hips up to jostle your weight to the side brings on instant regret, muffling a curse by locking his lips. His cock fattens, searing heat pulses from the tip of his length to his navel.
“F-fuck,” you grit, pressing harder onto his crossed arms until his chest caves. “Playing dirty won’t help you win.”
Jaemin’s breath lodges, clenching the backs of his teeth as he bends his knees. His heels dig into the mat, hoisting up with more force until you topple over and lose your balance, fast as he escapes your grip and grabs onto your shoulders and plants your back flat.
“Playing dirty?” He asks, licking at his front teeth.
Jaemin circles your thighs, pushing them open to space an area for himself between your legs. He hovers near your lips, glasses slipping lower, just above the tip of his nose. “Like you distracting me with your entire ass out? What the fuck are you even wearing, huh?”
“Get off of me!” You say with clamped teeth, only bringing amusement to his face as his biceps bracket your head. “This is a normal uniform!”
“Yeah,” he laughs, using the end of your nose to set his glasses back into place. His hips roll, a focused control freezing your lower half down as his knees burn against the mat, turning sticky with moisture secreting. “A normal uniform for some slut doing wrestling porn. That’s what this is for you, isn’t it?”
He finishes the question with a pointed grind, cock nestled against your clothed core further burying the material of your suit between your folds. “Between the two of us, you know who lacks brains here.”
Jaemin’s gaze darkens, lowering closer until his bottom lip runs between the seam of your mouth. Fitting together deliciously, wet from sweat gathering on both of your upper lips and saliva clinging to the tips of your tongues.
He can feel it, hot and humid against his groin. Your pussy spreading over his shorts, clit incessantly rubbing on your suit with each little shift.
“Ugh, f-fucking nerd.” Squeezing your eyes shut, you struggle by jostling your lower half as much as you can. Barely fazing him as he licks down your chin, forming a trail of drool down to the middle of your neck hollowing in for him to lap at. The sweat pooled there tastes savory at first, hit by a bitter aftertaste from the alcohol in your scented lotion. Fitting for you, sour and sweet as you’ve acted with him.
“Call me a nerd again.” He pushes up, causing your eyebrows to twist as his chest pumps out. Pecs hard as a rock, nipples pointed like icicles despite the heat gathering between your bodies. “See what happens.”
“Oooh, s-so scared,” you choke, Jaemin grabbing onto your throat when you try to sit up and shove him off. “I’ll break your glasses, see how tough you f-feel.”
Your taunting only eggs him on, ferociously pushing his side against your inner thigh until your centers fully exposed for him to press three digits against your exposed folds. Gliding up to pinch your suit around your clit until your feet slip and you kick at the mat.
“Get this wet for a fucking nerd huh?” He jeers, rolling your bundle of nerves under the damp fabric. “Maybe that’s why you bullied me, wanted me to fuck that bratty better-than-you attitude out of you.”
All you can do is struggle, attempting to dislodge your throat from his menacing hold, only seeping his fingers further into the veins rapidly pulsating up the sides of your neck.
“If only it had been the other way around,” he goes on mocking, blurring over your clit faster and faster until you’re coughing between trapped moans. “Imagine if I bullied you, getting your revenge on me years later by cornering me and fucking me until I’m incapable or forming a sentence.”
His speech lands on muted ears, passing through a thick fog of arousal that clogs up your senses, too focused on how thick his forearm looks. The veins rippling upward toward his meaty bicep shout at you, pumping full of anger with each flick of his wrist.
“You’re right, I got hard watching you practice.” He confesses, turning his hips for you to feel his chubbed up girth against your inner thigh. “Wanna know why?”
Gurgling escapes you, licking at the roof of your mouth to suppress another embarrassing sound from passing. He laughs, sharp teeth gleaming as they catch the light. “Because..”
Gathering the seat of your bottoms, he tugs at the material with a balled up fist. Ripping roughly at it to make you writhe and squeal in pain, burning against your clit with each pull. “This is why, to see you like this. So fucking full of yourself, but you can’t even pass a stupid test without a nerds help.”
Mesmerized by your folds swelling up around your suit, Jaemin’s waist bends in, momentarily forgetting about his grip on your neck; just enough to give you leeway to push up on your elbows and regain control.
It’s easy to pin Jaemin down again, startling him with power he wished to assume you lack. He curses when you fling him down roughly and mount his chest. Gathering fistfuls of his sweaty blonde locks, you rip at his scalp until he’s whining, elongated neck arched back releasing an obscene moan between his pretty pink lips. Ragged breath spills from your chest, working hard to maneuver forward until your inner thighs clap against his cheeks. Slotting your suit aside too fast for Jaemin to even let out a gasp of surprise.
Smashing your core down against his mouth sends a hiss flying out of you, grinding down hard despite the ridges of his teeth scraping along your clit. He muffles, flailing beneath you, glasses fogged up with slick and heat radiating from your lower half. A relieved laugh sounds, nodding as you work to crush your thighs around him to a suffocating point.
“Bunny talks tough—“ you grit, gyrating against his tongue until he groans. Losing your train of thought once again when his tongue curves, applying pressure against your entrance until you give. Loosening up and relaxing enough to push through. “Fuck.”
Jaemin can’t complain, even as he struggles to breathe through his nose, stuffed full of your clit rubbing incessantly against him. He’s crazed, determined to stretch his jaw until it breaks under your unforgiving thrusts.
Behind your back his knees bend, angling his hips up to fuck at nothing but air. Desperate as he slaps a merciless grip on your ass, repeating it until you get the message to ride his tongue.
Securing one hand on his head, you pull harder, using the hold to control your motions. His tongue wiggling between your walls while passing vibrating grunts, raspy broken whimpers. The unexpected slap you deliver between his thighs has him coughing, choking and screaming finding it impossible to swallow a long enough breath.
“Little b-bunny can’t even handle f-fighting a girl can he?” You scramble to taunt him, whimpering as he manages to dislodge his tongue and suck on your clit. Spreading your ass apart to have your hole pulse open against his chin as he uses every inch of his face to rub and flick. Messy, fucking disgusting with a pleased gleam hiding under splattered lenses.
Jaemin’s teeth nip, lapping side to side on your clit before he wraps his lips again. A mean suck and nimble digits digging in too close to your rim have you toppling forward. A shouted moan expelling as you whine and bounce down to fully release your orgasm on his chin and neck.
White haze takes over the room, brain spinning too much to process being manhandled onto your back. Only between a coughed whimper do you come down, blinking up to find Jaemin above you, grasping your ankles above your head with a devilish smirk playing at his lips.
“You think I give up that easily? That was child’s play.” He taunts, pushing hard abdominal muscles against your exposed puffy cunt. Rough and grating as he passes from the thick line of dark hair trailing down inside of his shorts. A silent gasp emits as he grinds against your ass, hoisted off the mat the more he tests your flexibility, continuing to push and push until you’re folded in half.
Lazily you blink, reaching between your upper halves to scrape at his chest. Tweaking and pinching at one of his hardened nipples. With clenched teeth he takes advantage of your drunk-like post orgasmic state, releasing an ankle and replacing his hold with a hard bite. Sharp canine teeth sink near your tendon, shaking his head to make you shout and whimper louder. Free hand making use of your moment of weakness to release his erect length.
“Know what mean girls like you need?” He says between licking at teeth marks left behind on your ankle. Stroking to the tip of his length as he directs himself between your dripping wet folds. Sliding up and down for you to go crosseyed, stupid dumb just from feeling how fucking thick and wide he is.
“B-bunny..”
He doesn’t give you a chance to say more, penetrating with one fluid practiced motion. Years of masturbating and studying porn only served to build up his knowledge. Practicing what he learned with any girl who would give him the opportunity at science camp over the last few summers.
“Thick fucking cock to shut you up.” Finishing his sentence with a choked growl, he grinds, adding emphasis by giving you each inch.
The moan that rips from your chest says it all.
Full, so full. Thick, so fucking thick.
He’s bigger than any popular jerk you’ve fucked at frat parties. Obscenely stretching you out, split open and so unbelievably full.
“Aww,” he tries to mock, unable to stop himself from pressing in balls deep. Pressed deep enough for coarse dark hairs to scratch against your clit in the position. Folded in half and dwarfed beneath his massive size, both of his hands snake around your ankles, using his rocking hips to aid the push he gives. Your calves surround you, burning up the backs of your thighs from tight tendons working overtime.
“Weak. Nothing but a hole to take my cock.” Regaining some semblance at the visual of tears beginning to pour freely down your cheeks, Jaemin arches back, burying his knees into the mat to hit your hard with a pointed thrust.
Pinning you down with every muscle straining in his arms, he fills you to the brim. Cock too thick, nestling past any squeeze you give, any push the muscles inside of you use to suffocate his length.
“Don’t s-stop,” you choke, eyeing where he continues to dive in and out. His cock glistens coated in thick amounts of wetness, globs of it stuck on the patch of hair at the base. Wet, filthy and so fucking wet everywhere.
“So fucking greedy, full of cock and still you want more?” He spits, licking at saliva dribbling down his chin. “Want me to fill you up? Breed you like nothing but a stupid little cum dump.”
“Uh huh..” no amount of humiliation burning up your chest can deny how good it feels. Unwilling to even struggle or bother to get away from his hips pummeling forward. Hiccups and coughed sobs assist the rapid nod you give him, too overwhelmed to even picture how much Jaemin can give you.
He wishes he could laugh, but you feel too good, too perfect. The tip of his length catches on your convulsing hole with each draw back. It’s too much for you to even look at, witnessing the tip lifting at the skin covering your mound. Feeling deeper than what you can even actually see, as if his cock can reach the back of your throat with every thrust he gives you.
“Pl-please bunny..” you babble, worrying your bottom lip, fingers twitching for something. Finding his shoulders to weakly scratch at, dragging down to the cut his bicep muscle creates. “I-inside, please..”
Jaemin groans, circling his hips in a more meticulous manner. Cock dragging against your walls in a way that sends your toes curling. Legs trembling, nearly ripping free of his hold when he hits you just right, cockhead kissing your cervix with ease, hitting the perfect angle each time.
“Pleasepleasepleaseplease.”
Maintaining his hold to keep you bent in half somehow, Jaemin fucks faster, ruthless and harsh, encouraged by your babbling and whines. Thrust after thrust harder than the previous, ripping his chest and abdominal muscles to appear carved out of stone with all the more vigor he utilizes to fuck you like you need and beg for.
“Ahhh…fuck!” Jaemin’s voice comes out strangled, using every bit of his strength to keep fucking you even as you lock up around him. Gripping a powerful orgasm around his cock, the pressure, push and pull almost forcing his cock to slip out. Gushed around, so wet and sloppy, spilling release down to his balls.
Despite your shrieks, he only manages to go even faster. Blurry above you as he pounds through your orgasm, gritting and panting similar to one of your opponents by the end of a long match. Rumbling from deep within his chest as he meets your eyes, glasses dropping off, tightening up when you find his blown out pupils.
Jaemin cums, cock thrumming violently with each hot drop of release bursting free, filling you up and up until he has to curse. Removing his hold as his broad shoulders tremble, absorbing the heat between your bodies through tremors rolling up his tense back muscles.
That’s enough, you think, rolling away in search of a towel to wipe yourself with. Whining when your hip lets out a nasty crack, you knew that pre-stretch would be needed, but not this much.
“Where do you think you’re going?” A lowered voice asks, shivering up your spine as you whimper, burning where your wet thighs rub against the mat feebly attempting to crawl away.
“N-no no m-more..”
Jaemin laughs, worse than an evil villain from any movie or show. Slow to walk on his knees over your pathetic excuse of getting away. He hauls your arms back, clicking his tongue with a breathless chuckle. “This will teach you to fuck with nerds.”
Burying back inside of you aches more than you can comprehend, imagining your brain exploding and spilling out of your ears as he rolls down. Cock sunk in to the hilt, gushing out the release he just filled you with. His size too much for you to hold both in, slick, wet, and so fucking loud with each draw back and slap of his hips.
“Jaemin!” It’s your first time wailing out his name, not missing a beat as he picks up the pace. His chest falls against your back knocking air out of your lungs, more determined to ruin you on his cock again. Make you regret the day you first saw him and made the worst decision to fuck with him.
“Where’s your cute bunny now?” He asks against your ear, watching your eyes roll back into your head. Biting at your jaw, he reaches around, budging his bicep against your chin. Hips snap brutally into you, pulling you into a death inducing chokehold roughly. He pulls harder, making your chest shove out and waist dip in until you’re bent far back, slapping one hand against the mat.
“You give up?!” He grunts against your cheek, jostling your throat with a shake of his arm. Tongue hanging out panting, you reach for his wrist, scurrying to hold onto anything you can.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
A quiet cry and suppressed choke follows your palm smacking the mat with repeated motion. In disbelief by the sound of grunts, flesh clapping against flesh, popping wet and nasty with each smooth glide of Jaemin’s cock filling you up without losing any speed.
“Fuck,” his eyes squeeze, stomach muscles contracting with each unforgiving thrust further dragging you up the mat. Chasing after his next release, Jaemin runs for the victory by throwing his other arm around your neck, further pulling you into a headlock. Groaning by how much wetter you get, purging out more and more arousal with every ripple of his bicep against your jaw.
“That’s right.” He starts, blinking away sweat that won’t stop raining down, getting trapped in his long eyelashes. “Never forget how you let a nerd beat you.”
Another weak tap and pinch on his wrist has you cumming, arching high enough to nearly make him lose his rhythmic pace. Using powerful thigh muscles to push up and hit you with thrusts hard enough to have your heart beating out past your chest.
Slam after merciless slam turns messy, hips swerving pushing past your cunt gripping and milking for him to cum again. Give you the warm load to keep inside this time, greedily squeezing around him for another.
The squeaky cracked moan Jaemin lets out has your eyes rolling to the side, pleased that even after all of his tough talk, you can still weaken him somehow.
Tapping on his forearm finally gives you a chance to take deep breaths, only to be plastered by his limp dead weight collapsing onto you.
“So,” Jaemin breathes, wet chest heavily panting against your back. He bites at your nape, hoisting your chin up with his forearm perched under your jaw. “What’s my prize?”
“Ugh..” nothing more than a lazy response pours out of you. Continuing to reel and shiver under the weight melting you down into the ruined mat covered in every type of bodily fluid. “Whatever.”
If not for the chokehold around your throat, you’d knock out in less than a second. Thoroughly fucked and ran through by the same nerd that you once picked on and made cry for a laugh. The irony doing more to make your gut curl in with renewed arousal as you lock up around him.
“What was that? Whatever, huh?” He has the audacity to let out a fake chuckle, rumbling at the top of your spine. Free arm reaching down to push between your connected lower halves as he lifts to create space. “In that case..”
Jaemin’s index finger slips past bruises forming on your backside. Teasing as he pushes between your ass and traces your puckered rim. He pops free from your ruined hole, kissing at the backs of his teeth as a pool of cum bubbles out; settling in the shape of a perfect triangle at the top of your squished together thighs.
Prodding at your hole, Jaemin bites away a smile when you squirm and whimper, turning to give him a look full of excitement and fear. He meets your gaze with maniacal thrill, pushing his pouty lips together to create a faucet for a thick wad of spit to pour, landing directly on your ass to be smeared around.
“I’ll go easy on you.”
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numinously-yours · 2 months
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Pick a pile: Where will you be in 3, 6, and 12 months?
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Looking back at my poll from a couple of weeks ago, there were three topics tied for second place. One of them is this one: Where will you be in 3, 6, and 12 months?
For this reading, I looked at your current energy. If you're not sure which pile is for you, please feel free to read that part first! Then, I went through and provided insight on where you'll be/what you'll be focused on at the 3-month, 6-month, and 12-month increments of the next year. The write ups are a bit longer than usual, so I apologize in advance for pile 3 & 4 for having to scroll a bit longer lol
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Current Energy: The Moon
At this current time, it feels like you are in an energy of “almost”. You have something in your mind that you think makes a good idea/proposal. Your gut tells you that you should go for it, but your anxiety is holding you back from taking the leap. You may be remembering a time in the past where you went for something big and it didn’t work out. You’re worried this may happen again and you don’t want to set yourself up for disappointment.
3 – Page of swords, Knight of cups
In three months time, you’re going to be on an enthusiastic, creative, and passionate adventure. There is something you are hoping to share with the world! In the months leading up to this, new ideas are going to be brewing. How can you best share your passion with others? What is a fun and new way to present your idea? Continue brainstorming these ideas and you’ll have a good basis of where to start when the time comes.
6 – Eight of wands
After a few more months of getting your idea up and running (6 mo. total) , you are really going to see movement and action. There may have been a few bumps along the way as you perfected the execution of your ideas above, but things seem to be smoothing out. I think that around this time, you’ll have a really solid foundation of where you want this project to go. As you see the rewards of your work, you may even want to begin expanding.
12 – Four of wands, Wheel of fortune
Finally, a year from now, you’re going to feel really fulfilled. What I love is that the wheel of fortune came up in this time frame specifically. The Wheel is about karma and life cycles – it makes me think that at this time next year you’re really going to feel like you’ve come full circle in whatever project you’ve just taken on. The four of wands is all about celebration, harmony, and relaxation. An amazing and overwhelming sense of “I did it!” is definitely coming through here. Congratulations on whatever you’re up to, pile 1. It’s going to be amazing 😊
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Current energy - Knight of pentacles rev. and Seven of cups rev.
You are feeling a bit overwhelmed right now. Based on the cards that came out for your timeline, I think it likely has to do with your social circle/relationships. Maybe you’re the foundation of the group and you’re starting to become tired of being everyone’s support (like, actual exhaustion, not just “sick of it”) or you feel like you’re the one who is continually left out. You are trying to figure out what to do about it but feel stuck. I also can’t stop thinking that some of you are students – either graduating HS this year and starting college in the Fall, transferring schools, or starting a new career closely after graduation. This might not be all of you, but I was called to make that note.
3 – Three of cups reversed
You’re going to venture on your own pretty soon here, number two. Where the three of cups upright is about community, celebrating with friends, etc., the reversal indicates that you need some alone time. It’s okay if you don’t feel like you’re really clicking with your people anymore. Even though it can suck, you must do what is best for you. And I think that means seeing who you are, without the influence of others. There is a small indication of overindulgence, specifically when it comes to lifestyle changes. While it’s important to find yourself, please remember to do it smartly and healthily.
6 – Six of cups, page of cups
Taking the time to find yourself is going to bring you to your six-month point. At this point in time, I think you’re going to have a pretty good idea of who “you” are. You’re going to be more in tune with your intuition & higher self. You have a clearer idea of the future – or at least you are getting more and more comfortable with the unknown. Taking this time for yourself was really important and I’m happy that you’re going to do it. It is going to teach you the beauty of curiosity, it’s going to remind you that your inner child is still within you and deserves fun, and it’s going to teach you that the past is the past and the only way forward is continuing to move ahead.
12 – Ten of coins, The Devil
The main message from these two cards comes from the ten of coins. This next year is going to teach you SO much about yourself. At this time next year, you’ll look back feel like your personal journey was absolutely worth it. You feel more abundant and much more confident that your future ahead is bright. The Devil, I think, is here as another reminder to not get ahead of yourself or start to feel conceited because of your journey. You may feel tempted to rub your success in the faces of that social circle you left, but that is not going to be beneficial to you. Let your success make YOU happy. You can absolutely share the success, but not as a way to shame the others who had previously let you down.
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Current Energy – The Emperor and Playday rev.
Playday is a specific card to this deck and, for some reason, there’s not any info on what the card was meant to represent. But hey, that’s all part of the tarot reading process! Since it came into reverse, my initial thought is that you haven’t had many opportunities to have playday. I asked the deck for a standard tarot card to clarify and the Emperor came out at that time. In your current energy, you feel an obligation to take of others and be a foundation for them. Some of you are likely parents or caretakers. Others feel like you have to be “the strong one”. In your eyes, there is no time for play because there is too much to be done and there are too many people who need you.
3 – Three of coins rev., Five of cups
I think it’s been your goal for some time to focus on self-care. And I think that you’re going to continue to try for the next three months. There is this sense that you wish others would take care of you for once, but you’re “stuck” taking care of yourself AND trying to take care of them at the same time. You wonder why you have to be on the journey of self-care alone. You might get to this three-month period and wonder what the point of self-care is if you don’t even feel better.  I’m here to remind you that ANY progress in taking care of yourself is good progress! The fact that you are THINKING about how you deserve to be taken care of is a good thing! It means you know your worth. Unfortunately, I don’t think the three-month period is going to make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside but!! (see your six-month overview for more)
6 – The Chariot
Although the road to self-care has been HARD, you really WILL feel your rewards soon. By the six-month period, you’re going to feel some success. You’ll see that you have the willpower to take care of yourself instead of dropping everything to help everyone else, you’ll have the determination to hold your boundaries, and you’ll have the strength to remember that it only gets better from here. Boundary setting is coming out the strongest as the thing you’ll progress with the most. There will be tests that challenge this and sometimes the boundaries will come down, but you will more consistently BELIEVE you deserve the boundaries. It’s going to be an empowering time for you, group three! I’m just sorry it has to be the six month check point lol
12 – Five of swords rev., Ace of swords, Eight of swords (clarified by Sunrise, also a deck specific card!)
At this time next year, you’re going to be so proud of yourself. This makes my heart happy <3 There are still some times where people challenge your boundaries and try to take advantage of your genuine heart, but you’re finally at a point where you feel confident saying no. If/when this happens, you’ll reflect over this past year and see how far you’ve come. This will remind you of all of the hard work you did to get here and that it is not worth going back to feeling the way you did before (aka right now). You can ABSOLUTELY still be a person who provides a solid foundation for others, but not at the expense of yourself. Your mental state is going to feel soo much more clear. Each day you’ll realize something new about yourself, your needs, and how YOU can help yourself get there. This is really going to be a turning point in your mindset. AH I’m just so excited for you! Finally, with the eight of swords – I wanted to pull a clarifier because the eight usually represents negativity and victim mentality. I don’t think this will be your energy in a year. So, I pulled the Sunrise card. I think it’s AWESOME that you got 2/3 unique cards from this deck. This card is different than the Sun card, though, in my interpretation, it has a lot of the same energy. In the times that you feel guilty for setting your boundaries or taking care of yourself first, there will be a sunrise in the back of your mind. You will see the light of the rays and the warmth of this bright star. It will be a reminder that the sun always rises and it doesn’t mean you’re reverting back to your old tendencies to forget your own needs.
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12 month column is ace of wands & moonlight ; apologies for the hard to read text. in retrospect, I shouldn't have picked that photo background.
Current energy: The Devil reversed.
Right now, you are going through a personal transformation. I bet there is a sense of unknown and you’re a bit resistant to that (consciously or not). The future is scary and not being able to plan for it doesn’t help the anxiety. However, you understand the importance of your transformation and are trying your best to optimistic of the outcome.
3 – The Hierophant, Temperance, and Four of cups
In three months, it looks like you’ll still be on the journey of self-discovery, but you’ll be a little more patient with not knowing. In the time leading up to this three-month mark, you’ll discover tools that help you remain present. You’ll do a lot of introspection which will allow you to feel more comfortable about still being in land of the unknown. Around the three-month mark, you’ll redirect your thoughts to a different pathway than you’re currently thinking. The four of cups represents meditation and re-evaluation of your situation. You may have a moment of panic feeling like you have to start over AGAIN, but the tools you’ve learned were meant to be learned so you could get through this. You KNOW you’re not starting over because you have new insights that weren’t even in your reality three months ago (aka now). You may start delving more into spirituality to help you on your journey. This could include going to church more often, researching new religions, picking up tarot, or simply continuing meditation to get a bigger understanding of the world around you.  
6 – The Sun
By six months, you’re going to feel like the sun won’t stop shining. Even on the coldest days, you feel the warmth of the sun because you know you have a purpose. In the time between three months & six months, you’re going to figure something out. Something is going to click and it is going to propel you to work on something great. You’ll feel revitalized, group four, and I think it’s a feeling you’ve been looking for for awhile now.  You’re going to inspire others with your newfound light. You’re going to feel confident expressing yourself (beliefs, needs, ideas, etc.). I’m really happy for you!
12 – Ace of wands, Moonlight (specific to this deck; different from The Moon)
This time next year will truly feel like a new beginning. The sun has set on this particular part of your journey and the moon is coming out to light the next path. While the moonlight is less bright than the sunlight, I think this card is here to represent that, no matter day or night, the universe is here to provide some light even in the darkness. As you look ahead to new opportunities, the unknown doesn’t scare you as much. You know the sun will always rise again and provide you clarity on your path. And you know based on this journey that you’ll always feel the sun’s warmth, no matter what part of the journey you’re on.
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luckbealincoln · 10 months
Note
omgg u stay feeding us. but 60 and 221 give me such din vibes like… not being able to resist the need to provide. Anyways lovely chapter as always, continue doing ur magic bae🫶
Going Through The Motions
pairing : din djarin x f!mechanic!reader
word count : 1.4k
summary : mando visits you regularly for "ship maintenance." you know what to expect at this point.
warnings, etc : smut, light angst, masturbation, floor sex, fwb!mando, p in v sex, fingering, multiple orgasms, mando has weird dirty talk, the helmet stays on, creampie, unprotected sex, breeding kink if you REALLY squint, definietly an unhealthy relationship, mando is over protective but also refuses to commit lmao, toxic relationship
a/n : i uhhhhh took a lot of liberties with this request lmao, but i loved writing this little blurb (i made this strangely sad?? it sort of happened naturally lmao), it's nice to write a slightly different version of din than what i normally do, enjoy and i hope you like it !! :) this is my first time taking requests or posting anything that isn't bks so I'd love feedback!!
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“I shouldn’t allow myself to get so close to you.” He murmurs in your ear as your back slams against the side of the exterior of the Crest. It’s a funny thing for him to say when his erection is pressed against your hip. 
“You say that everytime you come around.” Your fingers find the familiar notches in his armor as you begin to hastily tug at them. 
“And I mean it everytime.” His hands find purchase on your thighs as he yanks you upwards, you’ve danced this dance dozens of times at this point, everytime he stops in for maintenance on his rust-bucket of a ship you two do this. He mumbles something about it being the last time and you laugh it off, knowing it’s never true. 
This time there wasn’t even anything wrong with his ship.
You’d done a full sweep, double checked everything, not a single thing was out of place. 
It was probably cold in space. Maybe he just got lonely. 
He hauls you into the ship, your legs wrapped around his waist. He’s punching numbers into a keypad and the main door is shutting with a creak.
Where will he decide to take you this time? 
Most of the time he just pressed you up against a wall or tossed you into his cot. Sometimes if he was feeling patient you’d get all the way to the cockpit. Once he’d done you on top of a few boxes he was transporting. 
This time he doesn’t get more than a few steps before he’s laying you down on the floor.
This is new. Someone's feeling impatient. 
He’s hastily tugging down the zipper on his flight suit while your hands find the buttons on your overalls, his visor is trained on your figure as you manage to shimmy out of the denim, tossing it aside. He crawls forward on his knees, already stroking himself, hovering above you, his gloves discarded off to the side. 
You prop yourself up on your elbows to get a good look at him. His free hand grabs the hem of your panties, shredding them like paper as he tosses the thin fabric behind you.
“Dickhead! I’m running out of underwear, you have to stop that.” You slap his shoulder but he only chuckles.
“I’ll buy you new ones.” 
“You say that every time too.” You're unclasping your bra, setting it down next to you before he gets a chance to destroy that too.
“I will this time, promise.” He gasps softly, letting his thumb slide over the ruddy tip of his cock. His freehand is spreading your thighs open. “Touch yourself, I wanna see.” 
“So bossy.” You mutter as you let your hands roam down your body before settling between your legs. Dipping your fingers into your already pooling wetness before circling your clit, slow and steady strokes. 
“That’s good… good girl, want my fingers?” His tone is light and teasing as he pushes two fingers into your mouth before you answer. No sense in protesting, you’ll be begging him for this eventually, why wait. Your tongue wraps around them as best as possible, coating them in saliva. Once he’s satisfied he brings them between your legs. “Keep touching that pretty little clit while I do this.” 
“Whatever you say, boss.” He sinks his fingers into your cunt as you continue your own ministrations, a familiar wave of pleasure washing over you. 
“My sweet thing. Look so pretty like this, on the floor of my ship, wanna keep you right here, make you feel this good all the time.” Your back arches against him, almost to prove his point. 
He always talks like this. 
In the moment he’s always so possessive, always says such preposterous things, promises and offers of a life together. The first time, when the words had slipped out a sense of hope had bubbled in your chest, a palpable joy that you were finally gonna get off this backwater planet. 
You had cried yourself silly when he had left an hour later without a word. 
He had left and he had taken his empty promises with him. 
Then he came back, and that time you let him say what you assume he needs to say to get off. The sex was good so why change the dynamic. If it ain’t broke don’t fix it. 
Speaking of good sex, you’re snapped out of your thoughts by your climax. It’s sudden and he practically forces itself out of you as he curls his fingers, stroking that spot inside of you as you ride out your orgasm. Once he’s satisfied he withdraws his digits, spreading your wetness across his length before notching himself at your entrance. 
“Do you want this, sweet thing? Want me to fill you up?” There’s that gravely desperation you’re used to. 
You’d love to ask what the deal with that is.          
His hopeless need to be wanted. 
He was always like this. Like clockwork, at first you thought that it must have just been another thing he needed to get off. Then it became deeper than that.
“You need me, tell me- fuck- tell me you need me, please sweet thing.” 
“What?” You had mumbled through your haze as he rocked his hips into you.
“Tell me how badly you need me. I’ll take care of you, you just have to tell me.”
It’s strange. You’ve already gotten off more than enough times and he had never been one to overstimulate you, he was always generous to the point of comfort, never more. 
That’s what this relationship was about. 
Comfort and getting off. It was never about necessity or obligation. 
“I-I need you.” You stammer out, still a little confused. 
“Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of you.” He gasps out, pulling out to finish on your stomach. 
That was the first time he had held you afterwards. Wrapped you up in his arms and whispered to you. Told you he would keep you safe, make sure you were okay, and most importantly, that as long as he was around that you would be cared for. 
He was gone within the hour. 
Now this was the routine. 
He needed to be needed. 
And even though it hurt to give him the first few times, (that gnawing pain you had the first time he had made promises was back.) you got used to this too. 
“Lost in thought, sweetie?” He brings you back to reality. Your eyes settle on his helmet. 
“Sorry… I need you Mando, please.” He needs to hear it, and you don’t mind saying it, to an extent. 
You do need him, you don’t get out enough because you’re always working. He’s one of the only people you get to talk to.
Those words spur him on, he sinks himself into your heat, your moans whiny and breathy. 
“Fuck- I know, I know you need this, you need me, my sweetheart, needs me to take care of them.”
“Y-yes, Mando, need you…” His thrusts immediately pick up, he maintains a brutal pace as he continues his ramblings. Demanding your praise. 
After a few minutes his thrusts start getting sloppier. 
“Want me to finish inside?” He’s panting frantically, his hands grip your waist to slam you into him. “Want me to fill you up?”
Why not, you can buy a pill tomorrow.
“Yes, I need it, please Mando I need you to cum inside me.” You squeak out, that’s all it takes. You finish one more time before he buries himself completely in your cunt, his seed spills out between the two of you. 
He collapses in a heap on top of you, the both of you panting in unison.
He goes through the motions, you’re used to the motions. 
He holds you against him, rolling over so you’re on top. His fingers play with your hair aimlessly as he mumbles some sort of praise you don’t catch. 
And he’s gone within the hour. 
You’re standing in the shop in your overalls, watching the Crest until it disappears completely. 
A few more moons pass. Days come and go. You don’t expect to see him again for a few months, he normally wouldn’t stop by until he had finished several bounties, or if his ship was in desperate need of repair. So it’s a bit shocking when a week passes and the Razor Crest is landing in your shipyard again. 
You wipe a bit of grease from your hands with a loose rag, brushing your hair out of your face once the engines shut off. The main door hisses before slowly lowering to the ground. He stands at the top of the entrance, walking towards you, tossing you a package wrapped in a paper bag. You cock an eyebrow at him, he’s standing next to you by the time you tear it open. 
12 Pack : Cotton Panties.
This isn’t part of the motions.
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astroaid · 3 months
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Capricorn Rising 2024 Predicts
Accuracy dependent on entier chart. this is general and not a personal read.
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Feb 9 - New Moon in Aqua
[More likely to be noticed if you have placements in aqua. The planet in aqua & its degree + aspect will tell you more about it influences]
This is your 2nd house of resources (income, possession, money, etc). This new moon can be a good time to plan for a change in this area. You may feel inspired to budget, make purchases, better your work ethic.
Pluto is here as well. It will temporarily return to Capricorn Sept-Nov 2024. But after Nov 19, 2024 it is here in aqua for the next 20 years. Pluto is bringing destruction and rebirth to your 2nd house. You may begin to desire a new way of creating income.
When the new moon occurs mercury is in your 2nd too. You may be having conversations about your resources. You could be writing out budgets or manifestations as mercury is communication. You could be considering or starting to learn about something that will later help you make money (university, first aid certificate, etc).
Mars (feb 13) and venus (feb 16) will join mercury and pluto in aqua this month. This makes feb a 2nd house theme month. Watch out for overspending on purchases you do not need as mars can bring impulse and venus can bring indulgence. These two together can bring passion too, if you do create a plan to work on your income, you have the willpower.
Feb 24 - Full Moon in Virgo
[More likely to be felt if you have placements in virgo. The planet in virgo & its degree + aspect will tell you more about it influences]
This brings a full circle moment in your 9th house. You could be finishing or applied to an educational program. May be going on or planning a trip. These are very generic examples.
Full and new moons aren’t always note worthy events in our lives. If you do remember starting something under the virgo new moon (sept 2023) it is coming full circle now.
Mar 10 - New Moon Pisces
[More likely to be felt if you have placements in pisces. The planet in pisces & its degree + aspect will tell you more about it influences]
This is a good time to begin things regarding your 3rd house. Communication, transportation, siblings, community, interests.
Mars will be here on mar 22, this brings the motivation to put your plans into action. This can bring arguments with siblings too. Mars is impulsive, if you’ve already been frustrated, you could explode.
Mar 25 - Lunar Eclipse Libra
[More likely to be felt if you have placements in libra. The planet in libra & its degree + aspect will tell you more about it influences]
This is in your 10th house. This further emphasizes that this year, you may naturally begin to desire change in your career and income.
The south node has been here since July 17 2023 (and will stay here until Jan 28, 2025). Indicating, you could be feeling drained by your current work. You are being pushed to be independent and make the changes you want.
April 1-25 Mercury retrograde
[More likely to be felt if you have placements in aries. The planet in aries & its degree + aspect will tell you more about it influences]
This is your 4th, you may be experiencing delays around the home. Miscommunication and being misunderstood in the home/family.
But don’t let retrogrades stress you out. Think of it as mercury double checking everything is in order. If things are going fine in the home, there may be nothing note worthy. But if things are chaotic and need order, those areas will expose themselves now.
Retrogrades are usually the time people reach out to people from the past. You or someone else may reach out for reconciliation or one last conversation for closure. However, not every personality type needs or wants to dwell on the past. And this is your 4th house so unless it is someone in the home or you’ve lived with, it might not be likely. So this is very dependent on personality types of the people you knew and yours.
April 8 - Solar Eclipse in Aries
[More likely to be felt if you have placements in aries. The planet in aries & its degree + aspect will tell you more about it influences]
This can signify a new start in your home or family. Maybe some ones having a kid, adding a roommate or someone is leaving the home creating a new home environment. These changes generally take 6 months to come to fruition.
When this occurs, mercury will be in retro in aries and chiron, venus + north node will be in aries. People may be feeling fiery than usual in the home or family. You may have conversations (or arguments) but with venus there is a chance these lead to resolution.
April 20 - Jupiter + Uranus conjunct in Taurus
[More likely to be felt if you have placements in taurus. The planet in taurus & its degree + aspect will tell you more about it influences]
Uranus is bringing a sudden and unexpected energy to your 5th house (romance, children, creation/creativity, entertainment, drama). But with jupiter it is likely a positive event. It’s hard to say exactly what because it is unexpected and sudden due to uranus.
Due to the home and family focus on april, for some it is likely their is a surprise addition to the family. It is also likely you or someone you know could conceive during this time.
April 23 - Full Moon Scorpio
[More likely to be felt if you have placements in scorpio. The planet in scorpio & its degree + aspect will tell you more about it influences]
This is your 11th of social circles/friendships and long term dreams/goals. The new moon was in nov 2023, if you started something it may be ending now.
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thevirginwitch · 11 months
Text
Pearl Correspondences & Uses in Witchcraft
Friendly reminder that this post was available for early access over on my Patreon! Unlock early access to my future content (as well as exclusive access to my research notes, free tarot readings, digital goodies, access to my online library, and TONS more) by subscribing to my Patreon for as little as $2/month!
In ancient Chinese culture, pearls were used in artwork, folktales, and charms to represent wishes, fortunes, gratitude, and even the moon:
Marquis of Sui’s Pearl, a gemstone in a folktale dating back to the Warring States period (475-221 BCE), is given to a leader, Sui, from an injured snake that he nurses back to health, as a symbol of gratitude.
In Hindu and Buddhist traditions, The Chintamani (equivalent to the importance of The Philosopher’s Stone in alchemy) is known as a wish-fulfilling jewel that is sometimes depicted as a pearl.
In Chinese artwork, dragons may be seen holding or playing with a “flaming pearl” – in this context, some believe the pearl may be representative of “an object of great value that enhances the benign dragon who treasures it”, however it is more commonly (especially in Westerners) believed to be a cosmological symbol of the moon – in fact, there is an ancient belief that full moons are solid pearls, while new moons are hollow pearls.
In holistic circles, pearl powder is also known to help you with longevity, beauty, bone-health, among many other (non-FDA approved) benefits – and in Ayurvedic medicine, pearl is said to be an antidote for poison, and it was also used in love potions.
Knowing the traditional symbolism of pearls in Chinese and Eastern cultures, as well as its (supposed) medical benefits and Ayurvedic uses, we can create our own Correspondences for Utilizing Pearls in Witchcraft:
The Moon
The inner/subconscious-self
Wishes
Gratitude
Abundance
Love
Beauty
Longevity, good health
Pisces, cancer
Hidden knowledge
Uses for pearls (or pearl powder) in modern witchcraft:
Use pearl powder as highlighter in makeup for an easy glamor-spell
Mix with salt and other herbs associated with abundance to make “money-salt” for money spells
Add whole pearls or sprinkle pearl powder in your money bowl
Blow pearl powder onto your front door at the beginning of each month to bring abundance to your home
Write down a secret or something you want to get off your chest, and bury it with a pearl to keep it ‘hidden away’ from others
Make a wish with a pearl by leaving it out in a rainstorm, or dropping it into a natural body of water (pond, lake, etc).
Offerings to sea-related or beauty-realted deities
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Fun pearl facts:
Genuine pearls (and pearl powder) doesn’t burn! Pearls may discolor, but they shouldn’t go up in flames.
Pearls are made as oysters try to protect themselves from irritants or parasites – they add layers and layers of this ‘pearl’ coating to intruders, and viola!
Pearls are the only gemstone that come from a living creature
Pearls come in many colors
Pearls are obtained from oyster farming – which is actually beneficial to the environment! Additionally, pearls can be harvested without killing oysters.
Be careful when shopping for pearls – many places do not sell genuine pearls and they may be fake. Use caution when looking to purchase!
Sources:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marquis_of_Sui's_pearl
https://sci-hub.ru/https://doi.org/10.2307/1512907
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cintamani
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eight_Treasures
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seafoamreadings · 4 months
Text
week of december 24th, 2023
last horoscopes of 2023 ~~
these are written predominantly for the *rising* signs but they are also intuitively "channeled" enough that they should work for any dominant energy you have! (try your sun if you don't know rising, or more advanced readers can try moon, anywhere you have a stellium, etc and see what works best for you!)
aries: cardinal full moons like the one featured this week can make you feel like the rope in a game of tug of war. a series of tense mars aspects probably doesn't help. on the bright side, venus moves into your fellow fire sign of sagittarius this week, bringing whimsy if not downright romance into any academic interests you have going.
taurus: many lovely earthy and venusian vibes occur throughout this week as venus herself heads for your 8th house. relationships may take more intimate turns, or fall apart, but you'll probably have some good fortune if you try your hand at real estate or stocks.
gemini: no one thrives in chaos like a gemini, but maybe it's less fun when that chaos centers on your ruling planet, mercury. still, only a little elbow grease will have you making the most of it, plus venus into sagittarius brings good vibes to a relationship situation - even if a relationship is ending, as it will for a small group of you, such endings are sometimes cause for celebration, as in now.
cancerians: full moons are always a big deal for you. this one is in your sign, no less! the most crabbiest full moon of the year. cancerians get a bad rap for acting crazy under certain lunar influences but frankly it's sometimes called for. think on it a little bit first - at least 12 hours - but then if it still seems like a good idea to you, full steam ahead, those people don't have the same intuition as you.
leo: venus begins to settle into sagittarius later this week which means lots of fun on your horizon, even luxury and romance if you choose. but first, handle the sacred/mundane apparent paradox of this week's full moon. turn a routine into a ritual for best results and honor it steadfastly, even after the moon wanes.
virgo: for most virgoans this is a fairly peaceful week, although the more mercurial among you may feel quite flustered due to mercury retrograde shenanigans. it's all temporary, don't panic. ceres does healing work especially relating to your home and shared resources if you let her operate consciously as well as subconsciously (she'll be doing the latter anyway).
libra: full moons like this can get you frazzled. whether you feel like going out and living it up or staying in and recovering, do what feels right and not what you are pressured to do. then, your ruling planet venus moves into sagittarius, where she is much less somber than she has been lately. refreshing!
scorpio: as the fieriest of the water signs, venus heading for sagittarius won't bother you too much. indeed, it lends a little lightness to a deep and heavy vibe all week. plus, it's great news for your money and other resources.
sagittarius: the vibe is increasingly mutable-jovial, which is perfect for you. fire increases, spontaneity increases, spirits are high or if not, at least a sense of urgency is. impulsivity is auspicious BUT be careful of mercury retrograde concerns!
capricorn: the fact that your season is now underway is broadly auspicious and means that the full moon happens across your relationships axis. the downside of that can be unruly or volatile situations coming to a head. if you need to part ways do it gracefully. if there is more to be salvaged, be graceful in that also.
aquarius: watch out for shocks to your routine or disruptions in your social circle. some of these are unpreventable. if you can always act with authenticity, never schmoozing or sucking up to authority figures or peers, you will fare better than otherwise.
pisces: your week has a wistful, almost tearful quality to it, much of which is beautiful, all of which is heavy. it is ok to feel sad. it is also temporary. regardless of what emotions pass through your mortal form this week, avoid social media if possible.
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hyrulehobbit · 11 months
Text
RECOGNISING AI GENERATED IMAGES
(Disclaimer: This is not a foolproof guide as these softwares are constantly changing, but it is intended to help you learn things to possibly look out for.)
We've all heard "count the fingers, count the teeth" for AI generated images of people, but more and more frequently I see people sharing images of objects and scenery that are AI generated without realising it. These people are often vocally anti-AI but still get caught out. This post is not intended to shame or make anyone feel bad for not recognising AI imagery. Usually, AI images posted on platforms like tumblr are not tagged as AI; the OP is often fully intending to trick you just to gain some quick numbers, so it's not your fault that their tactics work. They're designed to be pretty at a glance and betting on you not looking any closer.
So, that out of the way: How can I spot and avoid AI Generated images?
Here's some things I've learned to pick up on, and now I can spot them pretty much on sight.
Full guide under the cut. Contains AI images as examples.
1. Source
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Your first easy step is to check if there's a source. Remember when everything on tumblr was just credited to weheartit?? This is the new worse version of that. If the image has no source in the description describing an artist, photographer, brand, location etc... check the original post.
If there's nothing in the tags to indicate that it is art or a piece of photography or an advertisement, it could be AI. Sometimes the caption is just something generic or aesthetic like ~witchy cottage life~ etc. The tags above for the image below of the room with the tree are largely nonsense.
Important note: A watermark does not always indicate a photographer or artist: if you think it might be AI but it has a watermark, that will most likely lead you to the socials for the person who created the image using AI.
2. Visual Soup
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Zoom. In. It sucks to feel like you have to get into the habit of pausing and closely checking the details of images on platforms designed for infinite scroll and quick engagement, but if you get into the habit of this, soon you'll be learning to spot AI at a quick scroll glance.
Generally, when you zoom in on a photograph, the details and divisions of where one object ends and another begins still stays the same, just out of focus. Zooming in on an AI image, the details become... soup. Why is that plant morphing into the countertops? Why is the tap floating? Why are there five thousand burner dials???
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The same applies to art. Zooming in on art reveals things like brush strokes, pencil lines, pixels, imperfections and intentional small details. If zooming in reveals soupy details that don't look like intentional stylistic choices it could be AI.
3. Interior Design Disasters
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One thing AI doesn't seem to be good at is separating the depth and layers of rooms full of furniture, and making things sit properly in their 3D space. Window frames are wonky. Chairs and tables are fused to each other, or to walls. Bookcases get narrower at one end when they really shouldn't. A little wonkiness is fine and expected in artwork, but when the whole thing isn't sitting right, it could be AI.
(Compare the white image on the right to these real photographs of a similar house, and notice how messy and nonsensical the AI image seems).
(Edit 03/06/2023: See also this abstract furniture that still has a proper sense of depth and doesn't merge into the background)
4. Toothpaste
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I don't know what else to call this but midjourney effing loves it. I most commonly see this on things like AI generated objects, outfits and garments rather than scenery. It looks like the software has applied all the details with a piping bag. Weird, greebly swirls like it's hoping you won't notice if it adds enough visual noise. Notice it. It's AI. And it looks super fucking weird.
Midjourney also loves adding weird concentric circles to everything, which can be seen in the image example for Lighting below.
5. Giblets
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What is that bowl of stuff?? What is on that shelf?? What's that pile of...things?? They're giblets. This is another prominent midjourney feature and another example of visual noise. Stuff it with details, and maybe the viewer won't notice that what they're actually looking at is a lumpy pile of nonsense that definitely shouldn't exist. Spot the giblets!
6. Lighting
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This one is hardest to describe and to spot, but I often find that the lighting in AI images of scenery and objects has a flat, dream-like quality. Once you study it, it begins to feel distinctly unreal.
7. Names
Lastly, some people do state that an image is AI in their descriptions or tags, but might not do so in those exact words. If you aren't already familiar, here's the names of the most prominant AI generators as of May 2023:
Midjourney
Dall-E or Dall-E 2
Stable Diffusion
Deep Dream
Artbreeder
WOMBO
NightCafe
Lensa
Stablecog
BigSleep
Brands such as Bing, Google, Shutterstock and Canva are also bringing out generators
8. Multiple Angles (added 03/06/2023)
I forgot to add this earlier, but it's another very simple tell! If the images are objects, garments or rooms... are there multiple images in the post of the same object or location from different angles? No? Then it could be AI. The shoes used as Toothpaste examples above were part of a set of lots of different shoes, but of each design there was only one image. AI is Not Good at creating the same thing twice consistently.
(See these photographs of hair pins. The post contains a source link to the photographer's flikr account, where there are multiple images of each pin in different angles and lighting, confirming that they're real.)
If I think of anything else or some new tell starts to appear, I will come back and update this post, but for now, thank you for reading. My hope for this is that people will either share AI generated images less, or if they do, at least learn to spot and tag them so that those who don't want to see them (aka me!) can filter and avoid.
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em-dash-press · 1 year
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Rising Action: Everything You Need to Know Plus 3 Examples
Action hooks readers and makes characters grow. You use it in every story, even when you don’t realize it. Here are a few things every writer should know about rising action and a few examples of how it affects various plot maps.
What Is Rising Action?
Rising action is the chain of events that moves your plot forward. It begins and ends with your full story, so it’s an essential craft tool every writer should feel confident wielding.
What Are the Types of Rising Action?
These are a few types of rising action that you can use in any story. They affect the plot and characters in ways that keep readers flipping pages because your story becomes more engaging.
Your Inciting Incident
The initial action in a story is typically the inciting incident. It’s one of the many plot devices writers use within their narratives because it kicks things off in a way that dazzles or stuns the reader.
It could be something as small as your protagonist making a doctor’s appointment (because the doctor is later revealed to be their long-lost mother). It might be as significant as Ursula shooting Hitler in Life After Life by Kate Atkinson.
Your Ongoing Crises or Actionable Choices
After your inciting incident gets your plot moving, the rising action keeps it going. This includes any ongoing crises that happen as a result of the inciting incident, choices your protagonist makes, or consequences of choices your protagonist doesn’t make.
The protagonist who makes the initial doctor’s appointment might notice that their doctor has the same unique eye color as them. They make the choice to research the doctor online. The protagonist finds their friends and starts integrating themselves into the doctor’s social circle to learn more about them.
They could also deal with crises, like if someone crashes into their car on the way home from a party where they find confirmation that the doctor is their long-lost mother. Maybe a natural disaster occurs or they experience a financial loss.
Everything that makes your protagonist continue to move toward your story’s resolution is part of your rising action. It could be physical events, unintended consequences, choices, words, etc.
Your Story’s Climax
Rising action also includes your story’s climax. Famous moments like these include Jack and his mom escaping in Room, or Romeo killing himself in Romeo and Juliet.
Stories can also have multiple climaxes—more on that below.
Internal and External Rising Action
Action isn’t always external, like with car crashes or fist fights. Sometimes it’s inner turmoil that makes your character take action or make decisions that aren’t typical for them. Internal action is incredibly compelling because everyone has their own inner struggles. When described in vivid, grounded ways, readers stick around for books like To Kill a Mockingbird and Turtles All the Way Down.
Rising Action in Different Plot Maps
Plots can have numerous shapes when mapped out. It depends on the story you’re telling and your confidence as a writer. Here are a few different plot maps and how rising action fits into all of them. 
Freytag’s Pyramid
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Writers start with this plot map because it’s easy to follow and plan for. You have your inciting incident, the action propelling your story, the climax, and the resolution. It’s the most common makeup of short stories, novels, and everything in between.
The Three-Act Plot Map
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Three-act stories have two subplots and one primary plot that result in three climaxes and three resolutions.
Going off my long-lost-doctor-mother example, here’s what it would look like as a three-act book:
Act 1 Inciting Incident: The appointment when the protagonist realizes their doctor shares their rare eye color and wonders if she’s their long-lost mother.
Act 1 Climax: The protagonist befriends the doctor’s coworkers at a company cookout by posing as a new hire in the clinic’s satellite office. They run into their doctor, who mentions she wanted to be a mother once.
Act 1 Resolution: The protagonist goes home, more determined than ever to get answers and potentially revenge.
Act 1 introduces the inciting incident for the entire book, raises the stakes, and sets higher stakes for whatever occurs in Act 2 by creating the expectation of potential revenge.
Act 2 Inciting Incident: The protagonist spends weeks researching the doctor’s history and pretends to become a member at the doctor’s church to directly befriend her where she feels safest.
Act 2 Climax: The protagonist breaks into the doctor’s home and rifles through her broken safe, ultimately finding paperwork verifying that she placed a baby girl for adoption at the same adoption agency where the protagonist came from.
Act 2 Resolution: the doctor comes home and the protagonist narrowly escapes undetected. She starts plotting her revenge.
Act 2 introduces a new form of tension with the break-in/escape. It also makes revenge a guaranteed future event, raising the stakes even higher. There’s also additional tension because the protagonist is unraveling into someone making purposefully cruel choices.
Act 3 Inciting Incident: The protagonist finds a news reporter downtown reporting live during the 5 p.m. show. They interrupt by calling the doctor out by name, saying she’s a fraud. She never actually got her medical license.
Act 2 Climax: The doctor gets fired because her employer checks with her various universities, none of which have any record of her being a student or graduating with them (likewise with her residency program). She returns home to find the protagonist in her kitchen. The protagonist used their cybersecurity background to delete all the files. They’re prepared for a screaming match after venting to the doctor, who ultimately only professes their love for the protagonist. They loved them too much to keep them while she couldn’t be a mom. 
Act 3 Resolution: The protagonist gets arrested for their various illegal activities, but the doctor visits them in jail/prison. They form a budding connection, which the novel leaves open-ended.
Act 3 makes the protagonist do something illegal and reckless. There’s a confrontation resolving Act 1’s inciting incident and the protagonist’s primary motivations (hurt from never knowing their mom). The novel ends in a much different place but leaves the reader to define how they feel about it all.
These types of stories are more complicated, so they’re often longer. However, that doesn’t mean they’re always better. You have to be good at plotting and developmental editing to carry the thematic weight and conflict through to the end. With practice and determination, you can tackle the three-act plot map!
The Seven-Point Plot Map
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The seven-point plot map often outlines stories with superheroes and villains or forces of good fighting forces of evil. It can layer itself with a three-act story too, which is what you’ll get from well-practiced authors who have written many, many other books as practice.
The long-lost-doctor-mother example would go like this:
Inciting Incident: The appointment when the protagonist realizes their doctor shares their rare eye color and wonders if she’s their long-lost mother.
Introduction of the Antagonist: The moment when the protagonist vows to compromise their ethics to uncover the truth. (The protagonist is also the antagonist in this example.)
The Antagonist Makes Their First Move: The protagonist uses a fake identity to become friends with the doctor’s coworkers and a member of the doctor’s church, specifically to get the most information from where the doctor feels safest.
The Protagonist Begins Fighting the Antagonist: The protagonist starts to feel scared of themselves once they realize they let go of their morals and ethics to get revenge. Self-doubt makes enacting revenge more difficult, but they push on with their plan.
The Protagonist Reaches Rock Bottom: The protagonist finds proof of the adoption agency the doctor used at the same time they were dropped off there. They delete the doctor’s university and residency files, reports her as a fraud, and gets her fired.
The Protagonist Defeats the Antagonist: After breaking into the doctor’s house and having their verbal confrontation, the protagonist gives themselves up to the cops who show up after the doctor reports a break-in. The protagonist knows they’ve gone too far and need to be stopped before they spiral into doing something worse.
Comprehensive Resolution: The doctor visits the protagonist in jail and they form some kind of positive relationship, which is left up to the reader to define.
You can handle this plot map easily too, but set realistic expectations for yourself! This is a big one. You’ll need lots of time to plan your plot points, character arcs, and rising action conflicts that get you to each part of your map.
Of course, you can switch things up too. Your antagonist may win in the end if you want to write a duology or trilogy. You might also just want to write a story with a crushing defeat to make your theme work.
Writers take months or years to tackle stories like this. You can do it too, just go easy on your expectations to get there with your mental health intact.
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Rising action is the powerful tool that makes stories captivating. You can use it to make any type of plot structure work, depending on the story you’re writing and what you want to attempt next.
With practice and the courage to try new things, you’ll deliver the type of action that grips readers as they flip each page.
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stagesofbalding · 6 months
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My Natural Hair Growth Journey
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Let’s Embrace our Natural Self!
Before I start, I would like to get this clear. I don’t have a problem with weaves, wigs, ponytails, etc. I say this, at the front door because when I decided to announce that I am trying to go natural; I got looks like I was a traitor. As of today, I wear my natural hair under my wigs because I am transitioning my hair from relaxers, tight hairstyles that pulled on my edges and bad hair gel that essentially dried out my hair. This is the reason for my natural hair growth journey.
My natural hair growth journey beginning
It was December 2015, and I was just about to finish college when I began cruising YouTube at home. I was bored and curious as to what was going on, then I came across some You-tubers sharing their experiences about maintaining their natural hair.
They talked about the products they tried and liked and the ones they didn’t like. I was hooked!  I spent hours watching, learning and writing down tips and products. You would have thought I was back in college. I was back on my grind.
It is funny how life can bring you into a full circle
A few years ago, 3 of my older cousins, who all live in different states, were visiting for a family reunion. I noticed that they had cut their hair down to a low Afro. At that time I was still relaxing my hair, wearing wigs and sometimes ponytails.
But I was curious. Was this a new revolution that I was ignorant about? Of course, I knew that the 60s brought back rocking the Afros, then in the 80s and early 90s the braids, especially the “Goddess braids” or for some of us the “Janet Jackson box braids”. Now the 2000″s “s brought back the natural hair look.
The crazy thing about it was that I found myself defending weaves, wigs, and ponytails. One of my cousins asked me why I wouldn’t just go natural. I heard comments like “You guys are just making the wig stores richer by trying to look like Caucasian women with that long flowing hair”. What? Yes, I was being attacked at the family picnic.
I said, “First, I am not trying to be like anyone but myself. Secondly, I love the way I look with long hair”.  I told my cousin that I have a big apple-shaped head, therefore, I couldn’t rock the short hairstyles. They don’t fit my face. The truth about it was that I was envious of my cousins’  abilities to wear their hair that short and still look good. They have the faces and heads for that style.
More young girls are going natural
>>> Female Pattern Hair Loss Success Stories <<<
As I look around these days, I see all lengths of Afros, twist outs and braids. While doing my research, I realized this may not be just a trend or phase, this could be the beginning of our sisters learning to love and accept their natural hair.
My history growing up was if your hair was long and silky-like, you had “good hair”. Being black, I grew up believing that because it was one of the descriptions people would use to describe someone with silky or wavy hair.
Now that I am in my forties, which means I grew up in the 70s and 80s, this was still going strong from my heritage, which started this nonsense. I can’t lie, I still find myself saying, “She or he has good hair”. I am not only transitioning my hair, but I’m also transitioning my mind about African-American hair. Furthermore, I have work to do, for real!
Our black culture is unique in many ways
Our hair is like no other on this planet. Going way back to our West African ancestors, we have always shown our artistic abilities when it came to our hair because it is so different. Our hair grows in a coiled curl pattern, coarser in texture, which makes our hair more delicate to manipulate than other races. Here in America, black people also have mixtures of different types of hair because we have Native American blood and other nationalities that are traced in our lineage. >>> 1 Year Hair Growth Journey: Embracing Your Natural Self <<<
Let me know about your hair journey. Just leave me a comment down below.
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Hello Mr. Dapper! I've set my players to find a city of gold, where the citizens transmuted everything (including themselves) into gold, and a labyrinth to exclude people entering. The city is now lost, and as my players are soon to find it, I struggle to find something more concrete to put in there. Any ideas are appreciated (thank you)!
Going to be quick with this since it sounds like time is short:
The ruling class of the city were a caste of occult alchemists who sought to "purify" themselves and achieve some level of ascension, believing that gold was more pure than base metals (assigning spiritual value to the fact that it does not tarnish) They succeeded in transforming themselves and their inner circle to living gold while also gilding quite a lot of the city and being waited on by their still flesh and blood servants.
After weathering one too many attacks from jealous neighbours, the masters of the city raised the labyrinth, inadvertently cutting off their home from the farmlands that surrounded it and creating a famine that killed off all of the mortal inhabitants. With no one to do the labour for them but no need for food, the masters got increasingly worse, delving into more and more obscure projects as they contemplated higher levels of ascension.
After hundreds of years of golden immortality, a faction of these masters fell under the influence of Cezil'Tek, outergod of empty perfection, wiping away the last of traces of their former lives ( faces, names etc) and began working to convince the other ascended to leave behind these markers of base mortality. This schism eventually devolves into a full on war, with both sides unleashing alchemicaly created pawns against one another and leaving few survivors on either side.
Riding high on hubris and pyrrhic victory, the faceless faction begin working to open a portal to the astral sea, where they could create a new world that had never been blemished by the lowness of the material plane. Things didn't quite go as planned, the astralspace the faceless ascended opened a portal into happened to be home to clockwork horrors, metal eating constructs that saw a gold plated city as a perfect spawning ground.
The swarm stripmines the city, leaving behind nothing but broken edifices and abrasive gold-dust sandstorms. These storms reach out into the labyrinth and even into the countryside beyond, inadvertently keeping alive the rumours of the city's prosperity.
By the time your party finds it the golden city is in a rough shape; passing through a labyrinth and countryside filled with alchemic warbeasts and the ghosts of famine, they discover not the wondrous monument they sought but a ruin pitted with hollows and cracks like a rotten tooth. A few of the ascended survived the swarm, and now live in hiding knowing that what few of the scavengers remain can scent their golden flesh. While most are maddened from pride and loneliness, one might be willing to offer the party as much gold as they can imagine should they help it escape.
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Being in a very mogai-infested fandom is pain, but I'm probably most annoyed by demisexuality being so rampant as a HC. There is no reason for that label to even exist. I just came across a fanfic and decided to read it just to see what the author considers to be "demisexual" and:
[[Casual intimacy isn’t his thing if he’s being honest. The idea of sex without the weight of romance isn’t something he feels he’s comfortable with.]]
That's... literally normal. In fact, it's what I was specifically taught as a child was normal. That sex should only be had with the person I loved, and preferably was already engaged/married to. Because my family is catholic and that's their conservative opinion on sex.
It's totally fine to not be into one night stands or other hookups, but you are not a different sexuality because of it, otherwise being catholic is also a sexuality I guess.
(I didn't proof read any of this, so apologies now)
Gonna go off on a tangent here, but I swear it's related:
Growing up I watched a lot of Disney. And something I noticed a lot in any non animation show or movie, was just how rich everyone was. A house would have only a father and daughter, but have 5 bedrooms, 3 baths, a massive living room and dining room, and a state of the art full blown security system that at the time I didn't actually believe could actually exist cuz no 'normal' person could have that. And that would be the standard for many movies that were very much supposed to be realistic in the settings. They'd even say these people have average jobs. Even the apartment in wizards of Waverly place was HUGE. With each kid having their own bed rooms significantly larger than mine. They literally own a family restaurant that they live upstairs in. But the apartment was bigger than my childhood home. And this is coming from a kid who grew up middle class, the most well of between all my friends. If I were to base what the normal American home looks like based on the media I watched as a kid, I would have a very warped idea of what homes look like. If you actually look at the stats, not even my middle class home is normal.
Mainstream media is produced by rich people (the workers under them not so much, but the actual person in charge generally), and that can easily give a bias or warped view of what's "normal." This is even more exaggerated by the fact that characters in mainstream media are designed to be interesting not normal.
So if you're basing your idea of attraction, dating, sex, etc on what you see in the media, it's going to be warped. Which I feel like ties into your comments quite well.
Usually when I see people try to explain what is and isn't normal for experiences of attraction I get examples of media and fiction. Usually examples of characters having one night stands or being playboys. Which:
1. Flirty play boy characters are common in the media because it's easy to make them a dynamic character. Giving them character development or to gain special feelings quickly give them a whole new perspective that audiences love (this isn't a bad thing for the record).
2. Most irl people who are like these fictional characters don't get nearly as many one night stands as they or the media claim. They aren't nearly as much of a player as they seem. And they're also usually pretty annoying unlike the characters in the shows who are made to be likeable. It's unrealistic in the first place.
3. Media itself is not a good standard of what is normal as it's entirely biased on what the producer deems as normal or average. See my tangent at the beginning. The characters aren't a good way to figure out what's "normal."
I have had people explain things usually actual people as examples which I think ties into my earlier rant in exactly the same way.
How you view the people around you (or more accurately your perception of them) is biased. You have a limited social circle and can't really base what's standard for society off of it. I'm guilty of this too. We all are. It's a very natural thing to assume everyone is like the people that you have experienced with-- for better or for worse..
If you're in your teens and have teenage friends, it's gonna be really easy to feel like they're all obsessed with sex or dating. It's a new thing that you're (hopefully) just now really learning about and exploring. It's easy to go a little overboard with something new. And it's also normal to not be interested in something new. Some kids are gonna be really into dating while others aren't. Some are gonna go from one person to another, others aren't. Cuz no one knows what they're doing. No one knows their boundaries yet. No one knows what they want outta relationship yet. They're figuring it out. Whether you are interested in it or not-- both ends of the spectrum and everything in between is totally normal.
As a young adult you're still figuring things out so it's the same thing. Your own journey to figuring out what/who/how/where you want a relationship is gonna be unique then someone else's. It's normal for each person to have a different journey. This alone isn't some new identity.
Lastly, on a final note. The amount of people who want "sex without romance" is a lot smaller than we're led to believe. And the people who do feel that way are the ones who are abnormal. They may have trauma that influences it, they may not. They could be likeable, they could not. They may be abusers who just want someone to abuse, they may not have any ill will at all. They may be a shitty person, they may not. Regardless, our society pushes "romance goes with sex" a whole hell of a lot more than "sex and romance are separate." Like... a lot so. Historically and in the modern day.
So if your entire reasoning for a whole brand new identity is "I want to connect before we date or have sex," I need you to know how much that is actually extremely normal. And how much you've been influenced by biased media, possibly a shitty friend or ex, and just a warped pov in general (not necessarily of any fault of your own).
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