#honestly it was one of the best practical things I started doing to help myself back in 2022 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

honeytonedhottie · 3 months

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HONEYS RESOURCE BUNDLE⋆.ೃ࿔*:･💶

a gift from me to you for the new year, to help give tips that can help u succeed 🫶🏽 a post filled with resources, and advice to help u guys improve in every aspect 💗 i love and appreciate u all and i hope u find it helpful.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ physical movement and activity

find something that u like and thats fitted for ur needs. for me, all of the workouts that i do come from youtube. a girlblogger that always has a lot of workouts to try is @4theitgirls-workouts. to motivate urself to move ur body i recommend buying something cute to workout in because it always makes me feel good. i rly like to do pilates, so since i enjoy pilates -> i'll wanna do it more.

so dont be afraid to try different things and see what u enjoy the most and stick with that bcuz u dont wanna be forcing urself to do something that u won't enjoy/that won't give u the results that u want. if working out in general isn't rly ur cup of tea at all, thats totally okay! try going for walks or start running. maybe try out for a sport or start a style of dance. the whole point of this category is to get urself moving bcuz its rly rly good for ur physical and ur mental health, and it'll serve u in the long run. another youtuber i rly recommend for pilates workouts is madeline abeid.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ self improvement youtubers that i love and watch regularly

the wizard liz

simonesquared

sammy ingram

simmonesimmo

hailey gamba

the freezia

persephonesmind

₊˚⊹ ᰔ law of assumption

of course if u wanna learn about and practice the law of assumption then u can learn and apply thru my advice, experiences, ideas and more. neville goddard is like, the guru of manifesting and hes written a bunch of books, here are neville goddard's books online for FREE so that that then u can learn and see it HIS way bcuz the thing with manifesting is u gotta figure out how it works for you cuz its your reality.

if u like subliminals this is my favorite subliminal maker on youtube. their subliminals r amazing and i enjoy them bcuz they dont have music layered onto it (i like subliminals that have soothing sounds like rain or water or anything asmr). last but not least my absolute favorite manifesting coach/teacher on the whole internet, sammy ingram - literally the best manifesting guide. she rly simplifies things and her channel is full of helpful advice, success stories, challenges and her perspective on manifesting is brilliant so i rly recommend her.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ mental health

journalling is honestly the best thing that i have ever done for my mental health, the ROI that i get from it is actually incredible so i highly highly recommend it. if ur someone who doesn't rly like to write a lot, use ur notes app or whatever just get the thoughts out of ur mind and onto a piece of paper/notes. i understand that sometimes when ur mental health isn't doing too well and u dont feel motivated rly to do anything (like u feel lethargic and stuff) forcing urself to do things ISNT always the answer. i rly recommend having alternate routines cuz we ask a lot from ourselves sometimes so some days, ask a little less.

give urself the break that u deserve. when u feel like crying, CRY. even if its for no reason, the body holds onto pent up emotions so when u cry u gotta CRY. with time you'll find the things that help u feel better. for everyone its different. for me, when my mental health is in a slump what helps me is : 1. doing one thing differently (i'll go for a walk maybe) 2. get ready (take a quick shower, or if i dont even have the motivation to do that i'll do a sink shower) 3. drink a cold cup of water and make myself a meal. dont ever have zero days. always give at least 1% or do at least one thing.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ hygiene

hygiene is so instrumental in mental health cuz like i've said before looking good -> feeling good. i make sure to get ready everyday even if im going nowhere. just bcuz the process of getting ready gives me so much momentum. smelling good gives me so much confidence bcuz im the type of person thats rly rly scared of smelling bad. im a hygiene JUNKY so im always buying soaps and fragrances. when u make self care a daily thing it'll feel so natural. dont neglect ur oral health, invest in quality products that are suited for your needs. be meticulous when it comes to ur hygiene cuz a solid routine is lowkey comforting. i rly recommend korean skincare, indian haircare, african body care, and arabic perfumes and fragrances. some of my favorite hygiene based youtube channels are : SARA BEQELE and anna renns world

₊˚⊹ ᰔ school

TAKE. SCHOOL. SERIOUSLY. the feeling that u get when u get a good score on an assignment or test is unmatched. at the end of the day ur responsible for ur education. it's not hot to be a loser. if ur someone who struggles to stay on top of assignments, write down the assignment as soon as its assigned and at the next possible chance do it. as soon as u get home from school. reward urself for good grades and for ur accomplishments cuz ur AMAZING. study effectively instead of excessively.

pursue excellence always. find ways to motivate urself throughout the school day (for me, i always try and incorporate girliness into school cuz that motivates me) all my pens and pencils and folders are pink and i get myself ready everyday before school. cuz when i FEEL good -> i perform well. if u ever dont wanna study remind urself that studying>failing. advocate for urself, dont be afraid to ask questions cuz ur responsible for ur grade if u need accommodations or longer time to take a test (even if u dont) always set urself up to have the most time possible and the most resources. the resources that u have USE THEM. the goal of studying isn't to "mostly" know the material its to know for SURE. when u can explain something thoroughly, thats when you can know if you've studied enough.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ organization + planning

of course for the new year and for life in general, organization is rly helpful. manage urself mindfully and intentionally. even if ur a messy person, organizing isn't difficult if u do it in a way thats right for you. for me, notion - is literally the best organizational tool. i have an agenda, calendars, school pages, and so much more.

with notion i rly organized my life on a whole other level. aside from notion, the notes app on ur phone is rly useful, when it comes to organizing ur day to day life, i think its important bcuz it helps u to maximize ur time. for planning out ur year, if u find it difficult to stay "on task" or achieve the goals that u set for urself, try this : dont see the year as 365 days, instead separate the year into 4 quarters (90 days each) and in each of those quarters choose one aspect to focus on and pour into. make sure to log and track ur progress on those goals. the idea to this is breaking things down. break down big goals -> to more digestible goals so that then its more believable for u. remember, your limitless.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ nutrition

if ur someone who has bad nutrition, or unhealthy eating habits in general and u wanna change that my biggest advice would be to NOT BE EXTREME. bcuz i feel like if u go fully extreme so quickly then the change isn't sustainable. take it slow. start off by introducing a fruit into breakfast and having a vegetable at dinner, then eating fruit with ur breakfast and having fruit as a snack, and eating veggies with lunch and dinner. ik it sounds repetitive and overdone but u need to be consuming ur fruits and veggies. if ur not eating it with ur meals then maybe have it in a smoothie if that works for u. take supplements for things that u dont rly incorporate into ur diet, and the key to a good diet is BALANCE. dont deny urself food that u love. life is WAY to short to be scared to eat the burger that u so desperately want. its okay to eat what ppl might consider "junk food" but everything in BALANCE and moderation. keep the 80/20 principal in ur mind. 80% of what u eat should be good for u and 20% of what u eat should be whatever u crave. DRINK WATER, dont go on extreme diets if ur not an adult and haven't consulted a doctor it does u more harm than good.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ informative

learn every single day. even if ur not in school anymore. a way to help learn and sharpen ur mind every single day is picking up a hobby that can help u do so. for me, the hobby i have is reading, reading keeps my brain sharp, it keeps me entertained, and when i read nonfiction it keeps me informed. so the hobby of reading has a high ROI. whenever u get an idea of any sort, ACT on it. u dont have to wait a billion years before acting on an idea. when u get ideas, its for a reason, ur mind is brilliant and imagine how many ideas that u wasted. thats why i recommend having a creative outlet of some sort. for me, my creative outlet is my blog where i can come and talk with you guys 🫶🏽 but ur creative outlet can be ur notes app or ur journal or ur sketchbook. just a way to get the ideas in ur brain -> onto paper.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ stuff i wish i knew

ur never ever tied down to one version of urself, u can always change ur mind/opinion, u can create a new version of urself whenever the heck u want. remember that u have free will and that ur always in control. bcuz it is your life it revolves around you and it is your responsibility. its not something to mess around with. take responsibility for urself, ur actions, ur reactions etc.

1% of progress is better than 0%, a little is always better than nothing. ur social anxiety or ur fear of being perceived is HOLDING U BACK. forgive urself for ur mistakes, everything that ur embarrassed of in ur past let it go and LET YOURSELF LIVE. become ur own project, ur own muse and if all else fails (which it won't, you'll be fine and everything will work itself out for u even better than u could've ever imagined) love yourself unconditionally.

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theeoriginals · 6 months

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Idea: Reader is part of the scooby gang (an adult doing them a favour or something - pls not a teenager it makes me cringe) and Klaus catches her staring (because obviously) and is cocky and flirty and likes riling her up

i just like you | klaus mikaelson

author's note; this was so fun omfg i love him sm

warnings: honestly sort of grumpyxsunshine but somehow klaus is the sunshine here ? teasing, taunting, klaus is a flirty menace, reader is super in denial, implied that reader is a vampire hunter but it's not really important, also this exists in some sort of strange canon universe so don't read into it too much, fluff, making out, a steamy-ish scene at the end, but it doesn't get too graphic so don't worry! no use of y/n!

She doesn’t like owing people favors. She doesn’t like when other people owe her favors, either, but people seem to think that trading things off is the best way to live, and she’s hardly got the power to change something so universally accepted.

She doesn’t like owing people favors, but in this case, it’s not something she can renegotiate. Alaric saved her life, and the least she could do is help him out with something.

Her view on that changes very quickly when he looks at her and tells her they want her to make a deal with the devil. In fact, she’d rather Alaric had just let her die than ask her to do anything with or for Klaus Mikaelson.

“I would quite literally rather die than do that, Ric,” She deadpans, givin him a completely unamused look that makes him grimace.��

“No, I know, I know,” He holds his hands up, a desperation to his pleading tone. “It’s a lot to ask of you, but no one else can deal with him like you do. They’d end up dead, or something,”

“Why do you think I can deal with him any differently than you, or Damon, or something? I hate him just as much!”

“Oh, well, that’s just not very nice of you, darling,” The man in question drawls, smirk audible in his voice as they look over to where he’s sitting on Alaric’s couch, looking like he practically lives there. She supposes he technically did, for a minute. “Hate is such a strong word.”

She gives him a saccharine smile, tilting her head. “I’m so sorry, Klaus, did I hurt your feelings? I didn’t know that evil hybrids who kill anyone who breathes wrong could have feelings.”

Klaus’s smirk only widens at her visible ire, and he props his chin up on his hand as he looks at her. “I have every feeling for you, sweetheart,”

Her eyes momentarily widen to the size of dinner plates, and then she quickly schools her expression back into a flat glare, snapping her gaze away from him as she huffs unhappily. “You want me to deal with that all day, Alaric? By myself? I thought we were friends,”

“We are friends,” He stresses, shooting Klaus a warning look that the Original dutifully ignores. “That’s why I’m asking you to do this. All you have to do is make the drive up to Whitmore and get the rest of Isobel’s stuff– we need to see if she has any information on the cure, or anything like that.”

“Doesn’t Bonnie have that professor guy that was telling her a bunch of stuff? Can’t we just go to him?”

“Damon doesn’t trust that guy,” Alaric says. “And before you ask, no, you can’t make Damon go. He and Klaus will kill each other if they’re in the same vehicle for that long.”

“He’s right about that,” Klaus says, still happily in his place on the couch. “Damon’s got such a temper these days. Can’t even handle a joke anymore.”

She scrunches her face up, giving him an incredulous look. “The only jokes you make are about the time you tried to kill Elena,”

“How would we cope if we couldn’t make jokes about these sorts of things?”

Her incredulity only deepens and she drags her gaze back to Alaric pointedly, earning an exhausted sigh from the teacher. “Klaus,” He starts, that same desperation still in his voice. “Can we all just play nice? For once we have something to be united about– could you possibly not jeopardize everyone’s lives again?”

Klaus heaves a sigh, standing from the couch in a swift movement and crossing the short distance to where they stand. “Certainly. I’m nothing if not professional, you know this.”

“Uh huh,” Alaric deadpans. “Can you be… professional enough to not provoke her into leaving you stranded somewhere, or something?”

“I’m sure we can work something out,” The hybrid drops his gaze to hers, bright eyes alight with mischief. “So long as she stops pouting.”

She huffs, dutifully not pouting. Narrowing her eyes, she offers a hand out to him, ignoring the amusement that sparks in his eyes at her formalness. “It’s for the greater good of all of us, right? I’m sure I can suffer through anything for that.”

Klaus shakes her hand firmly, and she ignores the way it feels like he’s laughing at her. “I’m sure you can.”

──────

“I take it all back, I’m going to murder him, and then myself.”

“Hello to you, too. I take it it’s going well?” Alaric’s voice comes through the speaker of her phone as she walks beside Klaus, ignoring the crowds of college students they’re pushing their way past to head to Isobel’s old office.

“Oh, it’s going so well, besides the fact that our vehicle just broke down as soon as we got to Whitmore.”

She can practically hear Alaric’s wince of sympathy through the phone. “Can’t Klaus just compel you another vehicle?”

“You would think so, but I already tried that, and he said it wouldn’t be very cooperative of him to take advantage of people. He’s apparently all for the teamwork these days,” She shoots him a glare, face twisting into one of disdain when all he does is give her a wide smirk. “Alaric, I cannot be stranded here with him. It was one thing if it was a few hours, but I cannot survive any longer than that.”

Alaric breathes out her name on an exasperated sigh, and she tries to ignore the slight pin prick of guilt that stabs at her because of it. “Have you called a mechanic or anything?”

She bites the tip of her tongue roughly. “Yeah. They’re coming to tow it, and they said it’ll be like, tomorrow morning at the earliest before it’s done.”

“Can you survive the night? For real? Or do you want me to drive up there and get you?”

She nearly blurts out that she won’t survive, that he needs to come get her as soon as he leaves work, but she stops herself, eyes drifting to Klaus, who seems to be awaiting her answer as well. Sighing tiredly, she shakes her head, even though Alaric can’t see her. “I’ll be fine, I’m just being dramatic. Don’t worry about me, alright? I– Klaus and I will handle this. It’s no big deal, I promise.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m positive,” She reassures, stopping at the steps that lead to Isobel’s office building. “I’ll text you later tonight after we’ve had some time to go through some of the stuff, okay?”

“Okay. Thank you,” He sounds infinitely less stressed at her reassurances, and the guilt she’d been feeling dissipates easily. “I’ll talk to you later.”

She echoes the goodbye and quickly pockets her phone again, immediately turning to Klaus to give him a glare that she can’t even really call a glare because of the complete and utter lack of any real heat behind it. Gesturing widely to the building before them, she sighs. “Let’s get this over with.”

The office is devoid of any lingering students, and she wonders if it was done on purpose. The only person there besides her and Klaus is the girl at the desk, and she racks her brain for the girl’s name, because Alaric had told her earlier before they left.

“Hi,” She starts, stepping in front of Klaus slightly as they approach the desk. “Alaric called earlier and said we’d be coming up to get some of Isobel’s research, I think?”

The girl stands, a small smile on her face as she nods. “Of course. I’m Vanessa, I was Isobel’s intern.”

Vanessa, she internally scolds herself for not remembering, before giving her name back in return. “And this is Klaus.”

The Original offered a charming smile, and she saw some degree of recognition flutter in Vanessa’s eyes as her smile grew wider, equally charmed and awed. “Lovely to meet you, Vanessa,”

“You’re Klaus Mikaelson, aren’t you?” She breathes out, shaking her head in disbelief as she leads them to Isobel’s private office. “Isobel was fascinated with the story of the Originals, but there wasn’t ever enough information to figure out what was true and what wasn’t.”

Klaus hums, practically preening under the attention. “Such are the consequences of living as long as I have. I can hardly remember what’s real and what’s not,”

Vanessa’s face lights up with an idea, and she steps towards Klaus excitedly. “Would you mind if I asked you some questions? It would do our research a lot of good to have something new,”

“Oh, well–”

“We have a lot to do,” She quickly cuts in over their voices, offering a sharp smile to Vanessa. “But if we have time later, I’m sure he’d love to give you a tell-all interview.”

Vanessa’s smile dims slightly but she nods, gesturing for them to go into the open office. “It’s all in there. Let me know if you need my help with anything.”

“We will definitely do that,” She says, ignoring the twitch in her fingers as pushes Klaus into the office ahead of her. “Thank you so much!”

She shuts the door firmly behind her and lets out a sharp sigh, her eyes fluttering open where she hadn’t even realized they’d shut. She finds Klaus staring at her, and immediately looks away, ducking past him to head for one of the packed boxes in the office, collecting dust. “What?”

Klaus makes an amused little hum in the back of his throat. “Oh, nothing,”

“There’s clearly something,”

“There is, but I don’t think you’d enjoy hearing it from me,”

She halts her movements, hands falling limp on the file folders sorted neatly inside one box. Turning to look at him over her shoulder, she raises a brow. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m curious as to what Vanessa did to earn your disdain,” He says, shrugging lightly, keeping his voice purposefully aloof.

She rolls her eyes, returning to pilfering through the box, skimming the labels on the file. “She was distracting you. We came here to do something, and we need to do it. That’s all.”

He makes that irritating noise again, and she pauses once more, this time turning to face him fully. “What? What is so funny about that? Might I remind you, we need to learn about this cure for you just as much as anyone else.”

He smirks, picking up a box from the floor and putting it on the table in front of him. “Of course. But only if you admit you were jealous,”

She feels the blood in her veins freeze as she stares at him, and she knows there’s a dawning look of horror growing on her face. “Excuse me?”

“Just admit that you were jealous of that poor girl in there, and I will do as much research as you want me to. It’s very simple.”

“Jealous,” She echoes, her voice faint the longer she looks at him. “You think that I was jealous because some college kid was treating you like you were the lead singer in her favorite boy band?”

“Maybe not her favorite boy band, but certainly her favorite Original,” He corrects, grinning deviously.

“I wasn’t jealous!” She yells somewhat hysterically, face twisting as her pulse races. “I– I have no reason to be jealous, I would never be jealous, I’m not– I’m not jealous! Just– shut up!”

She waves a hand in his direction, ignoring the warmth in her chest that stings like embarrassment. “Just– shut up, and– and leave me alone! Do what we came here to do,”

Klaus holds his hands up in surrender, still smiling like the cat that got the cream. “Whatever you say,”

──────

They’ve booked a hotel for the night, despite the fact that she’d sooner sleep on the street than stay in a hotel with Klaus Mikaelson. But he graciously offered to pay for it, and she was determined to pretend like their conversation earlier had never happened and that meant acting like absolutely nothing was wrong.

It meant letting him order them room service, and sitting quietly while they ate. It meant letting him tease and taunt her like he normally did, and working overtime to give him the normal reactions she would have– a glare here and there, a not-so-nice name everywhere else.

Except now it felt like it was all wrong. It felt like she was being even more obvious than before. All because he called her out. Because he was right.

Just out of sheer principle, she couldn’t ever tell him that. The last thing he needed was that particular ego boost, from her of all people.

Their relationship has always been antagonistic, but Klaus has never been nearly as harsh as she has. And now that she’s spent the last six hours thinking about every single interaction they’ve ever had, she feels somewhat stupid for not even letting herself contemplate the idea that she could one day be jealous over Klaus Mikaelson.

But even in that same vein, she understands why it never crossed her mind until he pointed it out. It was non-negotiable, having any sort of relationship like that with Klaus. She’d been friends with Alaric since he first met Isobel, she couldn’t just go and sleep with the guy who killed his girlfriend, let alone have feelings for him.

The thought alone made her stomach swirl with guilt, but she was determined to not let Klaus in on any of her inner turmoil, considering he’d get some insane satisfaction out of the fact that it’s all his fault.

By the time they make their way to the private bedroom in the ridiculously grand hotel room Klaus had gotten them for the night, it doesn’t really register in her mind that they not only don’t have any sort of pajamas due to the fact that this wasn’t supposed to be an overnight trip, but the only bedroom in the suite has one bed.

It doesn’t register in her mind until she’s already in bed, resigned to the fact that she’ll be sleeping in her t-shirt and underwear, and Klaus makes his way over to the bed like it’s no big deal.

“Hey, hey, what the hell are you doing?”

He raises a brow at her, gesturing to the bed. “Going to bed. We’ve got an early morning ahead of us if you have any chance of making it back to Mystic Falls alive.”

She rolls her eyes at his taunting recollection of her complaints, and she holds up a hand, keeping the blankets tucked carefully around her hips as she sits up. “Why wouldn’t you get a room with two beds?”

“Because it’s one night, darling,” He drawls, signature smirk twitching on his lips. “But if you have some particular feeling that would make sharing a bed with me uncomfortable, then I–”

“No!” She cuts him off, feeling like she was just backed into a corner. “No issue. Just– keep your hands to yourself.”

He winks at her, and she ignores the way it makes her heart race. “Wouldn’t dream of it,”

She shuffles back down into the bed and turns onto her side away from him, suddenly too conscious of the fact that she doesn’t have any pants on, and that if someone had told her this morning she’d be pantsless, in bed with Klaus Mikaelson, she probably would’ve punched them and then spent the rest of her life dreaming about it.

It’s only slightly humiliating.

Once Klaus is settled in the bed, presumably undressed to the same degree she is if the shuffling she’d heard a minute ago was anything to go by, he turns the lamp off, encasing them in darkness.

After too long, her hip starts to ache the longer she lays on her side, and she knows there’s no chance she’ll fall asleep with it throbbing like it is, so she resigns herself to the fact that she’s going to have to move.

Careful of her spacial awareness, she turns onto her back, and then onto her other side, unable to stop her eyes from landing on the shadows of Klaus’s profile.

She lets out a small breath, shakier than normal, and clutches her hand against the pillow beneath her head.

“You’re staring,”

She groans quietly. “I am not,”

“You know, I don’t know if I should be honored or not that you don’t act like this with anyone else.”

She squeezes the pillow again, brows furrowing on her forehead. Her curiosity piqued, despite her best interests. “What do you mean?”

“Well, you’re horrifically antagonistic on a good day, and downright murderous on a bad one. But you don’t ever lose your temper with anyone else like you do with me,” He observes, voice unintentionally quiet in the privacy of the darkness. If she didn’t know any better, she’d even say it was laced with fondness.

Pressing her face into her pillow briefly to try and collect herself, she lets her eyes trace the curve of his nose, and his prominent cupid’s bow, backlit by the moon shining in the window. She wonders what he looks like beneath a full moon. She wonders if his eyes shine that burning yellow-gold color the entire night.

“You do it on purpose,” She mutters, trying to keep her tone from sounding as childish as it does in her head. “I’m not stupid, Klaus. You like riling me up.”

She hears more than sees his head turn towards her, but she feels the burn of his eyes on her face like the summer sun.

“Did you ever consider that I just like when you talk to me?” He asks, sounding entirely more vulnerable than she ever thought he was capable of being.

Her breath stutters on an exhale, and she knows he can hear the way his words make her entire body trip up. Despite being unable to truly meet his eyes in the dark, she searches for them anyway, seeking out the truth that may lie in them.

He murmurs her name, soft and sweet between the sheets wrapped around them, and she can’t stop herself from pushing forward into his space, draping herself across his chest as she presses their lips together.

She’s instantly satisfied to hear the shocked noise that spills from his lips, but it’s the last coherent thought she can form once he mirrors her utter desperation.

He steals the breath from her lungs, barely letting her gasp between his greedy kisses, his hands pulling her further into him, leaving her practically on top of him.

His hands slide up the fabric of her shirt, grabbing at the bare skin there, groaning at the feel of her moving beneath his touch.

“Klaus,” She gasps out, panting at the spit-slick sounds of their lips together in the quiet of the hotel room. “Klaus, I have to–”

She forcibly pulls herself away from him, unable to even blame him for the way she let herself get so caught up as she catches her breath, looking down from where she’s propped above him.

They fall silent, matching each other’s frantic but slowing breaths as their spilled-over tension finally seems to simmer out.

A huff of a laugh comes from beneath her and she frowns slightly, looking at him. “What?”

His hands clench where they’re still gripping her waist, and she visibly shivers at the rough touch. “You were jealous, weren’t you?”

She instinctively slaps a hand against his bare shoulder, wondering how she hadn’t noticed he’d taken his shirt off when he got into bed. “You are such a dick,” She shakes her head, but she’s already leaning back in to kiss him again despite herself.

Klaus is quick to meet her halfway, craning his neck up to kiss her again, and she lets out a sudden yelp as he flips them around, pressing her into the mattress beneath him. “Let me make it up to you,”

She’s nodding before he even finishes speaking, and she thinks, tells herself, that she can’t be faulted for how quickly she forgives him after that.

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unforth · 6 months

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I had a day off yesterday.

And I can already practically hear the assumptions that such a statement is prompting the reader to make. Those assumptions are wrong. I don't mean I didn't work. I did, for about 8 hours. That's not at all what I mean.

I mean my wife took the kids out at 9:30, spent the night with her mom, isn't back yet the next morning.

There are things I NEED people on this website to understand about parenting. And I've talked about it before, and I'll talk about it again, because honestly the way that Tumblr as a cohort talks about parents makes me sick. Multiple polls have shown that only about 2% of people on here are parents. We're a huge minority, and we're constantly talked over, ignored, or accused of being bad parents (like, personally, I have had people reply to my comments or come on to my posts and tell me I shouldn't have my kids). In my case, being a parent means I'm almost 41, I'm married to @ramblingandpie, and our children are inching up on being 8 and 6 years old.

My entire day, and therefore my entire life, revolves around them. I'm up most mornings at 5 AM, because that's the earliest they're "allowed" to wake up, and so my brain just defaults to being awake around then - better to wake up before them, at least then I get a few minutes in the morning. Between 5 and 7, I sit with them, do my social media, work on side blogs, study Chinese. Then it's helping them get ready for school, then my wife or I or both get them on the bus, and then I work until the last possible minute, which is either when I need to go pick them up for an after school activity or when I need to go down and meet them off the bus. My afternoons are after school activities, chores such as washing the dishes and cleaning up toys, talking with them, working with them, playing with them. Their bedtime starts at 7:40, and my son gets scared if I leave before he falls asleep so I sit with him until about 8:15. As soon as he's asleep, I go fall on my face, sleep as best I can, then wake up and do it again. Overnight, it's hard to sleep deeply, because about once a week someone will wake up in the middle of the night and need help. That could be as minimal as a hug or as complex as having to completely change the bedding on a bunk bed at 2 AM while also comforting a child who is afraid they'll be in trouble, or afraid they're sick, or afraid of their nightmare, or, or, or. Further, if a child is awake, there is always noise. I usually study Chinese with two or more competing sources of noise. I read the same way. My life is loud, and active, and consists of constant interruptions.

I adore my family, and I love my children, but this is terrible for me.

I do all of this as an neurodivergent introvert. My clinical depression is at least medicated, mostly because post-partum depression after I gave birth the first time nearly drove me to suicidal in under a week (we were expecting this and were prepared, fortunately, getting help was as simple as a phone call). The constant noise and interruptions and forced socialibility are about the worst combination of home-life I could be subjected to. I spend far too many early mornings just breathing deeply and gearing myself up to be subjected to the wall of Loud, Boisterous, Needing-My-Attention that is every minute when anyone else in the house is awake.

So what did my day off look like?

I helped get the kids ready to go and did some morning chores. I'd been up at 4:30 AM so I also had already social media'd and studied. Then, while my wife finished the preparations, I started work, and I worked from about 8 am to about 4 pm, straight. I didn't get hungry so didn't bother stopping for lunch. No one interrupted me, no one asked me to look at anything they'd built, no one broke my concentration, no sounds could be heard except those I'd chosen myself.

I'd been out the day before at a local shopping street and listened closely to the things the kids said they wanted, so at 4 I grabbed a couple orders I needed to ship for work and drove to our local downtown, dropped the orders in a post box, then went back to the shops and did some Christmas shopping in the 45 minutes or so before everything closed. I think I'm basically done with what we'll get them - other bigger things will be left to grand parents - so that's a load off, I literally had a stress dream earlier this week about it being 12/24 and having forgotten to do the shopping and having to go to (oh horrors) the mall on the day before Christmas. (Reminder: I'm a Jewish atheist. It's just virtually impossible not to Holiday in the Culturally Christian Hellscape that is the US. Also, my wife is Christian. So.) Found something cute for my wife, too, even tho I already know the main thing I'm getting her. Then, I realized - one of my favorite restaurants is on that block. So. I went there. I sat by myself at a table, only the indistinct restaurant hubbub around me. I read four or five chapters of my book, and ate a savory crepe, and drank lovely fruit tea, and got a scone to-go that I'll eat for lunch today. It was more than I probably should have spent on myself - about $25, including tip - but fuck it. I only get maybe a handful of days off all year, and I'm allowed to indulge a little.

Then I came home. There were no lights on. There was no noise. I had considered doing some more merch work while watching TV on the actual television (my kids are too young for subtitled shows, so usually if I want to watch My Shows I either have to do it on my computer when they're not around, or put them on and read all the subtitles aloud while trying to keep up and process the actual meaning of what I'm reading). But when I got back, the quiet and dark was so goddamn NICE that instead I curled up on the couch and read more of my book. I did that until bedtime - still about 8:15, because I'm exhausted. Then...I went to bed. And I slept long and deep, knowing that there was no chance I'd be interrupted and woken up, I didn't have to be, even in sleep, alert to every noise and possibility that I'd be needed.

I'm still exhausted and burned out, but even one night to myself felt really, really nice.

Saying "Tumblr does X" as a universal statement is doomed to failure, but generally speaking, the parenting posts I see on Tumblr, the ones with tens or hundreds of thousands of notes, speak what's apparently widely seen as a truism on here: that unless someone wants to spend 24/7 with their kids, to be 100% emotionally available at all times, is always kind and patient and perfect, they are a bad parent, maybe even abusive. I remember when covid started, there were multiple posts actively mocking the "oh god, my kids are now home all the time, how am I supposed to do this?" attitude that a lot of parents posted in despair. WhY dId YoU hAvE kIdS iF yOu DoN't WaNt To SpEnD tImE wItH tHeM?

Look at what my usual day looks like.

Look at what my day off looked like.

Do you really think I don't want to spend time with my kids? Do you really think I don't love my kids?

But I'm not a fucking MACHINE. I'm a PERSON. That's what people on Tumblr seem to forget. PARENTS ARE PEOPLE. The same tumblrinas who post ~uwu be kind to yourself rest if you need to, you should forgive yourself for that mistake you made~ will turn around, with zero sense of irony, and post "you're a bad parent if you ever raise your voice around a child."

Expecting parents to be perfect means expecting parents to be inhuman. It also means that a parent can't be poor (can't spend all your time being the perfect parent if you have to work multiple jobs or weird hours!), can't be introverted (can't be a perfect parent if you're not completely emotional available, god forbid socializing is exhausting for you), can't be on the ADHD or autism spectrum (what do you mean you forgot to get your kid to a doctor's appointment once? what do you mean over-stimulation can make you angry? how dare you get angry at a kid!), can't be depressed (gotta get out of bed every single day, gotta always be upbeat, patient, happy, or else that's Evil), can't be (like my wife) physically disabled (what do you mean your hands hurt too much to hold a child's hand? are you denying them touch?? CRUEL). And when the only answer you can offer to that is, "if you can't be that perfect you shouldn't be a parent," then you're saying people who aren't middle class to wealthy, people who aren't neurotypical, people who aren't physically able, shouldn't have children.

And honestly...what the fuck is your problem?

I'm not perfect. I tell my kids to just leave me alone sometimes. I raise my voice, especially when one of my kids starts punching the other, but also sometimes just cause I'm exhausted and Can't Anymore. I've forgotten an appointment by accident and felt like a total fucking idiot, and I've skipped an after school activity because I just wasn't up for taking them. I've served them more unbalanced, unhealthy meals than I can count. I've made many, many mistakes, but I've also done my best, and I love my kids, and I hope that when they grow up, they'll still love me even as they recognize that I wasn't perfect, just as I've come to accept my own parents' short-comings while still loving them very much. They're people, too, and the older I get, the more I understand where they were coming from.

When I fuck up, I apologize.

When they tell me they're unhappy with something I've done, I apologize, and I try to do better. Sometimes I even succeed.

This shit is hard, yo. And it's getting harder every year.

I'm BEGGING Tumblr: you need to start seeing parents as people. The way y'all talk about parenting on here is toxic, and genuinely harmful, and frankly exhausting. You have no idea what the reality of raising kids is like, and you need to shut the entire fuck up.

I had a day off yesterday.

I might get one more before the end of 2023.

I already can't wait. I am so, so, so tired. sigh

(if you actually read this whole rant and even a single word of it resonated for you, please reblog it. I'm tired of never seeing positive posts about parenting while I see negative ones with a bajillion notes.)

#unforth rambles #parenting #momblr #nothing prompted this #i just think about writing posts like this all the time #because the low-level background buzz of how much tumblr hates parents is a constant stressor tbh #and every once and a while i tip over the line end up Writing the Thing #and so here we are again #god i have so much to do today and instead i procrastinate with this #oops

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bomber-grl · 6 months

Text

Date night

10:00 P.M

You run as fast as you can, leaping off buildings and almost slipping on the fast falling snow. You know you can’t keep this up forever, and you know, one wrong move, and it’s game over.

Robin is quick on your heels and with the cold, almost burning air that hits across your face and how difficult it is to breathe in, you’re sure you’ll get caught in no time.

Finally you stop and slide across one of the rooftops of what you can only assume is an apartment building.

“Hey Robin, I know we’re like arch enemies or whatever but I’m running a little late to my date so how about we make this quick?”

Robin usually loves to be your complete opposite, however to your surprise he says “I agree” and goes to kick you. If it weren’t for your quick reaction time by using your fore arms to shield yourself you know you would’ve been toast, still it might leave a bruise.

“What’s with the sudden compliance? Don’t tell me you’re already falling for my charms? You ask this feigning surprise.

“Don’t kid yourself, if anything your best feature is your fighting. He goes to use his spear but you counter with your own.

“Oh? So you admit I’m good?” You can see the disgust spread across his face and you take this opportunity to slash him across the face with your dagger, only that you barely managed to knick him in the chin.

He staggers back but is quick to recover, he pushes against you and pins you down. “I honestly can’t help but wonder why you care much, it’s almost like you’re falling for me.”

With your current position with your back against the wall and how you’re pinned up by him, you can’t pass the opportunity. “You’re right Robin, I think I really am falling for you.”

he lets you go with disgust blatant on his face but when you smirk he realizes this was all a ploy. With the golden opportunity to escape you take a swan dive off the building, the only imagine is of him peaking over the ledge watching you plummet into the darkness of the cold dark night.

11:30 P.M

You practically barge into the small cozy diners front doors, the atmosphere very much contrasting that of the windy coldness outside. You quickly spot Damian and make your way over to him where’s he’s seated, setting your things down and taking a seat, still panting.

“Finally, I was starting to think you wouldn’t make it, that not really a good impression to make, especially on the first date [l/n]” he teases.

You initially met Damian while at Gotham academy and while he wasn’t what you’d describe as a ray of sunshine, he was still amazing. He always seemed like an untouchable guy and you were so late to a once in a life time date that others would kill for, all because of that Robin!

“I know I know, I’m so sorry Damian!!” You take a seat, fixing your disheveled clothes and patting down your hair. “What’s with you? You seem like you got hit with a tornado or something?” He smiles.

“Sorry!! I uhh fell asleep while reading a book so I was rushing!” You give an embarrassed laugh. “I’m just teasing, I barely got here myself.”

“What???” You ask pouting. “Sorry sorry, I was just busy with useless rich people things, as you like to put it.” He says this obviously referring to that once time where you told him rich people don’t do anything.

“Hey! No fair!” Before the two of you could continue your discussion a waitress came up to your table and began taking your orders.

After the waitress left, you started feeling the diners warmth was a little too warm, especially with your large jacket. You took off your jacket and set it aside, rolling up your long sleeve shirt.

You were about to tell Damian something random that came to mind before you noticed something. On Damian’s chin there was a faint scratch, almost like the one you gave Robi-

No no no, no way, there’s just no way Damian could be robin. Damian is incredible, he’s so nice to be around, and gosh is he hot.

Not that Robin isn’t

What the hell were you thinking-

You suddenly feel Damian’s fingers glide across your fore arm. “What happened?” He asks as he looks up at you expectantly.

“Huh?” You look down and low and behold the bruise that Robin gave you with his kick. Damn you knew it was gonna bruise.

“Oh, it’s nothing, I just fell and landed on my fore arms.” You add a couple nervous laughs and hope Damian doesn’t notice.

Soon enough your orders are served but slowly but surely more signs are showing that Damian is Robin. Soon enough it gets late and that’s when you decided to make your move.

“Look ro-Damian, I really need to get going so-“ and with that you practically bolt to the door, however as your hand lands on the handle you feel a hand rest on your shoulder.

You slowly turn around, however before you can react you hear one sentence that makes you feel chills run down your spine.

“Are you [v/n]?”

Part 2?

V/n: villian name, l/n: last name

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tia-222 · 7 months

Note

HIII, so I asked my best friend who is a void master, shifted on her first try, lucid dreamt, and many more about some questions regarding on how to enter and stuff, so here, I hope it helps everyone 💗

1. (What was your experience when you first time entered? And when did you enter?)

"I entered at the age of 11, at that time my mental health was falling drastically, I had many problems going on, and my life was clearly not good, one night, I was crying in bed when I soothed myself and pretended to be asleep, I did this by closing my eyes and acting as though I was sleeping, I didn't move for a while, until I didn't hear anything and couldn't feel anything, after that, I tried this method every night just to feel peace in it"

2. (Did you manifest anything?)

"I do enter it a lot, yet I don't want to manifest anything, the sole purpose of me wanting to enter the void every night, was to feel the amazing calming peace"

3. (Do you enter it now? And how?)

"I almost enter it instantly every night now, after practicing for so long, all I need to do is to lay still, tell myself I'll enter the void any minute, and in seconds I find myself there"

4. (What's your method of entering?)

"it's easy, just tire yourself or at least let your eyes away from strain so that you can sleep better, then lay in bed for a while, just close your eyes, pretend to be asleep to trick your brain, and you'll enter easily, although for many people it's different, but this seems the most easy"

5. (Any other tips that are important while entering the void?)

"Do not think about how much time has gone, act as if an hour is a second to you, pretending to be asleep is basically making your body sleep but you're awake, let go of any thoughts, be calm, be normal about it, in fact, act as if it's a daily routine you always do at night, like as though you are drinking milk before bed"

6. (What do you think helped you to master the void)

"just don't gaf, that's all, be normal, don't overthink of when are you going to enter, you'll reach it easily, it's within you, all you need to think about the void is as if it's a fun game or something, don't put it on a pedestal"

7. (But what if they feel discouraged and sad about lack of entering the void)

"take a break, enjoy your own life to the fullest, the void can't leave you, you can always go back to it whenever you want, you can try anytime you want, and it's better to have a mindset as though you already have the results"

8. (How did you lucid dreamt everytime you wanted?)

"it's easy, throughout the day I just do some random reality checks, then before sleep I just talk to myself kinda, all I say is something like 'i'll do reality checks when I get in a dream' and just fall asleep, when I get in a dream I immediately start reality checking because I already told my brain to do that before sleeping"

9. (What made you reprogram your mind to let you remember to do reality checks in a dream so easily?)

"again, the sole reason is to not give a fuck, just don't care, you have it already, it's yours, all you need to do is to say it as though it's a statement you are making to your friend, that's it, before sleep all you can do is say the thing you want, hell you can even say it only once if you like"

10. (What xyz method should we use for void/lucid dream/shifting?)

"it goes up to you, but it all comes to one single thing, belief, and that's it, you can do the method as a fun way to brighten the mood, but other than that, all you need is pure belief and to not give a fuck"

11. (About shifting, how did you shift on your first try?)

"Honestly I found it out from you as you know, at first I didn't really think much of it, but since you also talked about lucid dreaming so I thought I tried, I did some reality checks on that day, but I didn't give it much a thought, I did the usual method I said earlier, then I got aware in a dream, made a portal and entered my hero academia"

12. (How do you know if it wasn't a dream when you shifted?)

"everything I touched was real, I pinched myself and it hurted, I did many reality checks and everything was confirmed to be real, I didn't even have a script, I just shifted then stayed for an hour got bored and was like 'alright that's enough yeet me back to my home', then I woke up in my bed"

13. (Any last advice to anyone?)

"all you need is the IDGAF mindset, why would you give a fuck when it's already yours? Let's say you have hair, would you worry about having hair??? No, that's exactly like this, the thing is, you don't even need to pretend you are going to enter the void, because it's already in you"

So that's it! She basically made it in a story way while we were driving to school in our bus, I made it in a question and answer way, I also added in some of my advices and the way I took her view, I really really got a huge help from it, now you better go and get in the void or manifest or shift or lucid dream or whatever you want to do, you can do it 💗

Hii love <3, omg tysm for sharing this advice with everyone and ik this will help a lot of people who is trying to enter the void state, lucid dream or shift into their Dr.

Firstly, I love how your friend described entering the void state for this first time. We can convince our bodies of anything and that's a fact! Many of us put a lot of pressure while entering the void state, all you need is to be relaxed. You can convince your brain of that too. The method your friend is absolutely perfect for entering the void state ♡.

Everyone needs the " IDGAF " mindset rn and stop putting pressure on themselves.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ I LOVE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE ADVICES, THANK YOU SO MUCH ANGEL. LOTS OF LOVE TO YOU AND YOUR FRIEND ♡

#void state #void state advice #void state tips #manifestion #void state success story #shifting #shifting advice #lucid dreaming tips and methods #law of assumption #anon ask #ask answered

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bubbles-for-all-of-us · 1 year

Text

Cold as ice II

a/n because why not take an opportunity to cry some more. I am so thankful for all the love honestly! You guys are the best!✨🤍

summary: what happens when Ellie stumbles upon a memorial that turns out to have both your and Joel's kids names on it. When the past pain is brought back to the daylight even the coldest of hearts finally break.

This can be read as a standalone but is written as a part two to Cold as ice.

warning: Killing, mentions of multiple death, loosing your kids, supplement use, mention of miscarriage, trauma but I think this is not as bad as the first part lol.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"How is she?", Tommy approached Joel in a tight corridor that was filled with both sobbing people and soldiers shouting. "The same," Joel ran a hand over his face, "They are moving everyone out of here today. To a different quarantine facility." Those words instantly sparked something in Joel. "What? Shit, she's still pumped up with meds", if the process of going there was as torture as it was getting here, you barely stood a chance.

"Joel", Tommy started, but Joel was all up at his face within a heartbeat, "Tommy, if you'll tell me one more fucking time to leave her by. I will blow out your brain's myself". The tone was anything but pleasant. Joel had been wanting to rip someone to pieces for some time now. He had beaten the stranger to a pulp here after the first day. The man was standing in front of the door that led to your room. Crunched down to look through the little window. Joel didn't ask questions; he just swung a punch. Nor did he remember much besides that when Tommy pulled him away, the man was nothing but a pool of blood.

"You know that's not what…", "She lost two kids…", Joel's words cracked mid-sentence as the thought of his two angels once again swirled in his mind. His biggest and most precious little bugs were taken away like that. "So did you, man", Tommy brought Joel closer to him. Joel's arms moved to grip the material of his brother's jacket. He didn't want to cry, but the sob had come out of nowhere. The past three days have been a nightmare and then some. Now Joel was sure that he was paying for all of his sins. Paying in the most brutal ways.

Dragging you away from the field was the second hardest thing Joel ever had to do. He could only pray that his arms would not let him down as he pressed you closer to his body. Joel wasn't sure what they injected into your neck once you reached an army van and practically ripped out the eyes of the soldier who tried to help you into the vehicle, but you collapsed immediately. Joel barely managed to catch you. He pressed your unconscious body against his. Just like he had for the past hour or so. Praying and hoping that you weren't gone. Joel couldn't lose all three of you. Now you were all he had to fight for. No matter how much pain he was in himself. Joel had to drag you both out of the darkness.

Then he sat in the chair next to your bed. If you could even call it that. When they had ushered everyone underground, Joel had bribed a nurse to give you three a room and make sure that a doctor would come to check you. At that time, the price didn't matter. He needed an answer. Needed to know that you were going to wake up. High dose of sedatives - the doctor had said. "But I doubt it'll keep her out for long. After two kids… My apologies. If I'll find any medication", he had placed a supportive palm on Joel's shoulder. Something that would also end up feeling so foreign soon.

If Joel thought seeing you unconscious was difficult, it didn't compare to the heartbreak he had to endure the moment you opened your eyes. You jolted with a gasp. Eyes jumped across the room as you tried to figure out where you were. "Love…", Joel stood up, slowly approaching you. "Sarah… Malakai," you murmured as you continued to look around. "How about a glass of water, huh?", Joel asked, hoping to sway the topic. But you pushed the blanket off your body. "Sarah and Malakai," you repeated. Joel clenched his jaw. "Sarah and Malakai," "Love, stay in bed," Joel put his hands on your legs, stopping you from pushing them over the edge. "Sarah…Malakai", you said once again, eyes looking up at Joel, "They killed them. I saw… I saw," you breathed out, pressing a finger to your forehead where the bullet had pierced your son's skull. "I know, baby, I know", Joel tried to gently hold onto you, but the moment his palms touched your arms, you let out the loudest scream. Pushing him away as you turned to the other side of the bed. You dragged your feet over the cold concrete. Sinking to the floor without even being able to take a step forward. Joel rounded the bed as he kneeled in front of you.

"They are dead," you cried out, pulling at Joel's shirt, "My babies… I need to go, I need to…", you tried to pull yourself up by using Joel to brace yourself, but that only made you glance down at your hands, which were still slightly stained by the dried blood that had been on them. "Y/N, you need to calm down. Or they will come in here and", but you paid Joel no mind as you pulled your hands up so you could look at them.

"Get it off," you whispered, "Get it off," pushing your arms towards Joel as you screeched. Joel had scrubbed your unconscious body for hours. There was nothing more he could do. "Joel, get it off," you said once more, tears spilling from your eyes, and Joel couldn't bring himself to do anything. "It's everywhere, get it off", you moved your hand to rub at your skin. All you saw was blood. Blood everywhere. Rubbing turned into scratching, and soon your nails were raking over your skin. Joel quickly caught both of your wrists in his hands. Shaking you slightly as if in hopes of making your return to your senses. "Make it stop", you cried out, hallow eyes looking at Joel. "There's nothing on your hands, love", he barely managed to sound somewhat like himself. But you just shook your head at him, "There's blood all over them. Our kids' blood, Joel."

That was a day ago. Now you just lay there. Leafless. No movements. Eyes blinking once in a while. The only indication that you were still alive. Now Joel wished you would scream. The silence was torture. It was too loud. It pulled you so far away from him. Tommy clapped his brother on the back a couple of times before pulling away. "Get her ready. I'll look at how to get the best spot for you and make sure you two stay together," Joel said nothing. He hoped his eyes said enough. "You look after her. We'll get her back up on her feet," Joel could tell that even if Tommy tried to keep it somewhat positive, he didn't fully believe it himself. Didn't believe that there was any coming back from this. Nor did he believe that you would ever be the same. But Joel nodded anyway.

"Hey", Joel ran a hand over your forehead, once he stepped back into the little room, but didn't get a single movement in return. Not that he was expecting it. "We will have to get you dressed, okay? Then we'll need to go somewhere," Joel said, carefully pulling the blanket off your body before reaching for your clothes. Clothes he had washed. Wash off your kids' blood. Blood that seemed never-ending.

You were shivering. It hadn't stopped ever since you were brought in the first QZ. It had died down a bit. But there wasn't a moment when the quivering stopped. Joel pressed a kiss to your forehead as he walked through the corridor. Everyone was on high alert, and the soldiers were tired. Jumpy even. More than one person was killed here simply in the aftermath of unimaginable stress and anxiety. They only let healthy, strong people stay. Anyone with any injury, even the slightest one, was shot. You needed to stand on your own two feet. Walk through the lines of different specialists. Prove yourself worthy of surviving. And even that didn't guarantee you anything. You could have been hit by a bullet at any point.

You, however, were in no condition to stand. There was no way you could walk, much less talk. "Keep your head at the crook of my neck, love", Joel guided your head to rest there, "I will not let go of you even for a second. No one who will approach us will take you away from me," and at this point, Joel wasn't sure if he was still reassuring you or if it had turned to self-reassuring now. With the help of the doctor who assisted you just as you were brought here. They filed the documents of you having a miscarriage. Right here at the QZ. A piece of paper that had the main doctor's signature and forbade you from walking. That had high dosages of medicine marked as a fallacious move by the doctor itself. That you were more than a healthy female before that, and that you would regain that strength once the medication wore off. The only hope Joel had of getting you out of here alive was that piece of paper. And if that didn't work… Well, Joel was ready to kill anyone who stood in his way.

"Joel," Ellie's sad voice pulled the male out of the trance, "Sorry, I don't know why I'm telling you all of this." Joel rested his palms on his knees, ready to stand up, but Ellie quickly inched forward. It seemed to her that the man in front of her was no longer the same Joel she knew. "How did you… how did you get through that?", she knew the question was stupid. Joel let out a sad chuckle followed by a painful sigh, "You don't even have an idea how much strength you have until you are forced to use it. That's when you truly see your power". Joel had locked his pain away. Behind a plethora of locks, doors, and crevices. So no one could see it. No one could access it. Draped a shield of coldness on top of it. The coldness made Joel seem more like an animal than a human. He had to become a monster in order to protect the only thing that kept his heart beating. Nothing was off-limits when it came to you.

"I felt like I was failing every day. Every day that I saw her lying there," Joel shook his head at the images that haunted him. The feeling of helplessness flowed through him. Joel had found a woman who could pretend to be you for the time being. Who could take your evening shifts. Who kept the target off your back. No one was allowed to lay around in the QZ, there was too much work as it was. "Joel you were far from failing her", Ellie said putting her hand on Joel's palm, "It feels different kiddo when you see someone you love drifting away".

All the worried looks that Joel would give you made sense now. All the times he would walk up to you. Taking a hold of your hand as he looked at you. Moving to kiss your hands at the time, if not that then, Joel would just hold them in his much bigger palms. At the time, Ellie thought that by doing that, Joel was just trying to warm them up during the cold evenings, but now it had a way bigger meaning behind it. That was Joel's silent attempt to make sure that you stayed with him. That you wouldn't drift away. Like a true guard at night, standing his watch. Always ready to fight for you.

"And I felt horrible that I left him all alone", the sound of your voice made the two of them turn toward the door. "I kept on telling myself to get up. You need to do that for Joel, but…", you shrugged your shoulders. Joel reached his arm towards you, and you instantly walked close to him. Settling down on his lap. His arm snaked around your middle as Joel pressed a loving kiss to the top of your head. "I never blamed you for it," Joel whispered, looking straight into your eyes. "I know because you're an angel." You cupped his face gently. Leaning in to press your forehead to his. Brushing your fingers under Joel's eyes as you wiped away the last tears.

This man was everything. If you'd fallen for him and his sense of humor back then. The fact that there was never a dull moment with him that even the most serious moments could be turned into fits of laughter. If you had fallen for how attentive and caring he was toward your kids. The way he always put them first. The way he sat in the bathroom for hours learning how to braid Sarah's hair or how he played astronauts with Momo even after the longest shift. Putting him over his shoulder or back as he ran around the living room making all sorts of noises. Then Joel turned into a rock—a whole mountain that shielded you from the restless sea that threatened to drown you. Never moving. Never scared.

"I don't want you to feel like we've been using you as some sort of… as our kids' replacement. The love I feel towards you…" you started, but Ellie quickly shook her head. "How could I? No, Y/N never," she said quickly, and you reached for her hands. "You are a special girl, Ellie, so special," you said as you brushed your fingers over her cheek, and she leaned into your touch. Trying to savor it for as long as possible. "You both are like my parents and I've never felt that..", Ellie's bottom lip trembled. Joel reached out to her as well.

"And you are our girl," Joel said, his voice shaky, but he knew he had to say it. Had to let her know that his coldness toward her at the start was just his defensive response. His fear of the unknown. The fear of it all ending the same. But Joel knew that once his nightmare shifted and he started to see Ellie dying in Sarah's or Momo's place, he knew that she had sneaked past his guard. Ellie had managed to find that well-hidden spark inside Joel's heart. And there was nothing that could have been done about it.

Ellie wrapped her hands over both of your shoulders, pulling you both into a hug. A light cry slipped from her lips. Your hand instantly moved to rub her back in hopes of soothing her. Joel pressed a tender kiss to the crown of her head before turning his eyes to you. Your teary eyes were already looking back at him. You mouthed a silent "I love you" to him, which Joel returned straight away, followed by a light smile.

Once Ellie pulled away, you both looked at her with fondness. "Thank you for sharing this with me. You didn't have to, but you did," she said, as you rubbed away her tears the same way you had done before. "You are a part of the family now. Family doesn't have secrets," you said softly. "Plus, I think me and Y/N both needed closure", you nodded your head at Joel's words. You had told him multiple times that it was eating you alive that you were keeping this way from Ellie. You could tell that she sensed that something was wrong; she just never asked.

"Do you want to see a picture of them?", you asked, turning to Joel, who you knew had kept a picture of you four. The one he always carried around with him. Tommy had taken it on Momo's second birthday. The summer was in full swing, so you decided to have a barbecue outside. You stood there in a flowy dress, laughing at Sarah, who had a surprised look on her face since Joel had rubbed barbecue sauce on her cheek. Joel's head was thrown back as he laughed. Even Momo, who was nestled in your arms, had somewhat of a grin on his face.

"Sarah would have loved you", Ellie lifted her eyes away from the picture to the sound of Joel's voice. You hummed in agreement, "Momo would have been all over you as well you two cheeky bunch would have gotten into so much trouble". Ellie glanced back down. The image that she saw frozen in front of her seemed almost impossible compared to the two people she had met. But now she knew more than better to not judge the book by its cover. The deepest and most painful scars were always hidden the deepest.

"I would have loved to know them", Ellie said dragging her finger over their faces, "Momo, looks like a minute version of Joel". You let out a little laugh, "That's what I said. Imagine how mad I was after carrying him for nine months and he popped out looking nothing like me". Joel cracked a smile, looking down at the photograph himself. The one he barely pulled out these days.

"If we stay in Jackson, we must build them memorial stones and plant flowers all around them," Ellie said firmly. The tears picked up at the corners of your eyes as you gazed at her. "That's a really beautiful idea, Ellie bear," you said, running your fingers over her hair. Joel nudged Ellie's side playfully, making her let out a chuckle before he brought you closer to him once again. Time healed scars, even if slowly. But you two were here and now you had Ellie by your side. Your hearts, even if covered in scars, still beat for one another. Together, you were capable of anything and everything. Life has already proven that.

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #the last of us imagine #the last of us x reader #joel miller imagine #pedro pascal imagine

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euovennia · 1 year

Note

I am yet again requesting headcanons for the 141 (or whoever you want <3) with a reader who has an angry resting face. And to add onto that, they are very expressive with their love but it comes off as aggressive (not on purpose) because they always look, you know, mad. Like when reader says "I love you," it sounds like a threat and really, they look like they wanna kill them, but they don’t.

whew, i'm so sorry for the wait on this! i took a small break from tumblr so i could focus on finishing some assignments i had for my classes, but they're all completed and turned in so i should be good for now! also i wasn't 100% sure if you wanted this to be platonic or romantic, so i tried to write it to where it could be interpreted as both. thank you for requesting and, as always, i hope you enjoy :)

warnings: none other than the fact that i don't know how to stop myself from typing more than i need to

summary: the 141 learns to adjust to life with their newest recruit; you.

john 'soap' mactavish

when price first introduces you to the group, he can't help but feel like he's done something wrong

and honestly no one can really blame him for feeling that way

the expression that paints your face when you make eye contact with him practically screams, "sleep with one eye open"

and while it is mildly terrifying, he only sees it as a challenge

because in his mind, if he can get the mighty ghost to warm up to him, he can get anyone to warm up to him

so as soon as price cuts you loose from the brief introductions, he's already right by your side pestering you with various questions

and while it was a bit off-putting, you weren't really surprised because price had already told you all about soap before he decided he wanted you on his team

so you just kinda stood there and let him fire off his questions while answering them with that angry expression and bored monotone voice that he can't help but love

like you're standing there, arms crossed with perhaps one of the most pissed off expressions he's ever seen in his life but all his mind can think is >:(

needless to say, he doesn't take your prickly exterior too seriously and it's because of this he's able to get closer to you a lot quicker than the other members do

and it's because of this he tends to vouch for you a lot more to the other members when it comes to getting to know you

"they're not that bad, i swear!"

"johnny, they look like they wanna rip your arm off every time you're near them."

"but they don't, that's the funny part!"

best believe this man is fighting for his life whenever your rbf gets brought into the conversation

and i imagine that one day you actually manage to overhear one of these little debates/conversations (tbh they could go either way with how divided they can be over it, especially when it's gaz vs soap)

and you can't just ignore the way your heart warms as you hear soap valiantly defend your honor

it's one of the few times you're genuinely thankful for his big mouth

after listening in to the conversation for a few more minutes you eventually decide to walk away, heart full and the smallest of smiles pulling at the edge of your lips

i think it goes without saying that you go a little sweet on him after that encounter

well

as sweet as you can go when you're the human embodiment of >:(

at least in the opinion of soap

you don't really see the resemblance tbh

anyway

you start doing little things for him

things like offering to take watch for him when you're both on a mission because you noticed that he hadn't really bothered getting any rest

sitting by his side and letting him ramble on about his family, especially how he always begged his parents to let him stay with his nan over the summer because she owned a little family farm that he absolutely loved to run around on

and even the time you learned how to make scotch pie using his mom's recipe he had tucked away in his room

no matter how much he may deny it, that last one had him tearing up as soon as he took a bite

but honestly, can you blame him?

the man barely gets to visit his parents back home because of his work and it crushes him

honestly, it was probably one of the first few things he confided in you when you first started talking

so naturally when price announces that the 141 has been approved for a two week leave, you don't hesitate in logging onto the computer and buying him the first tickets back to scotland

what you do hesitate with is actually giving them to him

so you decide to gloss over that part completely and instead opt for shoving the tickets inside an plain envelope with his name scribbled on the front and a small note that simply reads, "go." before sliding it under his door the night before everyone is scheduled to depart from base

the moment soap gets his hands on those tickets he can't help the way he runs through the halls and bursts into your room to give you the biggest hug you've ever had in your life

unfortunately for you both, you'd already left base by the time he discovered the tickets

and so with a heavy heart, soap makes his way back to his room before packing his bags with a new vigor

the plane leaves in six hours, but he's so excited he can't help but want to arrive early

needless to say those are probably the best two weeks of his life

and while the others are interested in hearing all about his trip, he simply brushes them off in favor watching the door so he can be there for the exact moment you walk in

and after making him wait more than what he felt was necessary, you finally walk in

and this man

the way he shoots up from his seat and runs over to hug you

it's almost enough to send you both flying to the ground

but luckily you've got some stellar balance and manage to save yourselves from being teased by the rest of the team

but with the way soap is squeezing onto you while repeatedly whispering, "thank you," into the nape of your neck, you don't doubt they'll make fun of you for that

even with the mild embarrassment you feel, you simply wrap your arms around the scottish man and offer him a few pats on the back

and as sweet as it is for the other men to witness such a tender scene, they can't help but notice how upset you look

it's almost laughable

and as much as they want to step in and tell soap to back off, they can't help but notice the way you cling onto soap with that soft look in your eyes

so they remain quiet as you and soap hang onto each other, hearts full of warmth

kyle 'gaz' garrick

i'm gonna say it now

out of anyone in the 141, he was probably the one most intimidated by you

he's the youngest out of everyone and so it stands that, naturally, he has less experience than others

it's for this reason i think he's so keen on staying close to price

i mean the man practically plucked him off the streets and said, "you're mine now," so i think it's reasonable that gaz grows a tad more attached to price than the other members

so when he catches a few glimpses of you around base barking orders at the recruits and slamming them into the mats during sparring sessions, he's not exactly dying to meet you

even so, he finds he's not too worried about the possibility

with how often the 141 departs base to go on various missions and how you always seem to be too caught up in whatever you're doing at the time to be bothered to even glance his way, he eventually comes to the conclusion that you'll never meet

until one day price strolls into the common area where he and the rest of the team are minding their own business with you trailing right beside him looking aggravated as ever

he's already a bit uneasy with the fact you now know where the team goes to relax, but that unease slowly shifts to downright horror when price reveals that you're the newest member of the team

now gaz is usually a pretty easygoing and friendly guy so any chance to meet and bond with new people is always bound to be a good time in his book

but he can't help the shiver that crawls up his spine whenever you're around

seriously, who or what made you look so pissed off all the time?

anyway

because he's so hesitant of being around you, he tries his hardest not to bother you

which basically means he tries not to be in the same room as you

and while you may not really notice or care, the rest of the team certainly does

especially price

he's the type of man who prides himself on having a team that knows they can all rely on one another on and off the field and so he'll be damned if you and gaz are the ones to ruin his little streak

so guess who gets assigned to accompany you and the recruits on your morning workouts from now on?

gaz!

and while he's not necessarily thrilled about the idea of being forced into such close proximity to you, especially first thing in the morning, he respects price enough to not question his decision and just ends up going along with it

and at first he doesn't really pay you much attention in an effort to not do anything to accidentally make you even more upset than he already assumes you are

but then he starts to notice something

he notices the way the recruits light up whenever they see you, whether it be during the morning workout sessions or when you're walking around base

and it baffles him because you just look so upset, he can't possibly imagine why they're all so keen on sending you wide smiles or enthusiastic waves

but one day he looks just a little bit closer and he can see the faintest hint of amusement on your face as your lips showcase the ghost of a smile

that's when he really starts to pay attention

and suddenly he can't help but feel a little ashamed of himself

because now he can practically feel his heart melt every time you interact with the recruits

like how you would bring extra ice-cold water bottles to the morning workouts for the recruits who'd forget to bring their own

or the way you wouldn't hesitate to slide them some money if they mentioned being hungry while you were around

and especially how you don't hesitate to lend an ear for them if they seemed to be troubled by something

it's in those few little moments that he can see just the tiniest cracks through your annoyed expression and heated glares

you're not angry at all, he decides, just real shit at expressing yourself

and upon deciding this, he realizes you're not so scary anymore

so now instead of avoiding you like the plague, he actively seeks you out

at first it's to help you out with carrying the extra water bottles for the recruits in the morning and planning the workouts for the week

but then it turns into him asking to sit with you at the mess hall over dinner and keeping each other company in the commons area

and as much as he tries not to, he can't help the giddiness that floods his body when you start to show him that aggressive love he sees you dish out to the recruits

shoving snacks into his hands when you notice he hasn't eaten in a while

quietly sitting with him while he goes through paperwork because you both know he has a tendency to get distracted

and his personal favorite, draping your jacket over him when you walk in on him sleeping anywhere that isn't his room

he always wakes up with a smile tugging on his lips

and despite how cold and distant you may look while doing these things, he doesn't give it much attention anymore

not when he can see the love and care that's reflected in your eyes

simon 'ghost' riley

despite you and ghost having similar exteriors, it becomes more and more apparent to gaz and soap that you're actually quite different

which isn't a bad thing, of course! just a bit unexpected

but it's because of this striking difference that you and simon tend to keep a majority of your interactions on the field

and you both are more than happy to keep it this way

gaz and soap however, are not

so naturally they put together a plan; a plan that consists of soap giving you his most treasured tactical pen so you can use it to write away in that little journal of yours on the ride back from missions just so he can later "confront" ghost and admonish him for stealing said pen

and during all this, gaz simply remains on the sidelines just looking pretty

anyway

after laying into simon for a good ten minutes, soap walks away from the encounter with a small smile before walking up to gaz and saying something like, "now we wait"

and they do wait

patiently

but after a full two weeks pass by and neither gaz or soap can find any evidence of their so called "master plan" working, they can't help but feel a little discouraged

unbeknownst to them, it totally worked

just not in the way they envisioned

you see, by the time soap came up to simon to lecture him about stealing his pen, ghost had already come to notice you scribbling into your notebook with it

so once soap had finally decided to leave him alone, he immediately confronted you about framing him for such a crime

but you just kinda stare up at him with that annoyed look of yours before revealing soap had willingly given it to you

and things just kinda click into place for the two of you; soap wanted to get you talking

and while you and simon had to admit it wasn't a bad plan, you didn't want to give the scotsman the satisfaction of knowing it had actually worked

so whenever you and simon find yourselves in the company of the rest of the team, you decide to remain distant

but when it's just the two of you?

you're straight chilling

especially when you visit him in his room or vice versa

like just imagine the two of you drinking tea that simon was nice enough to make and watching war movies while bashing all the inaccuracies and bad calls the characters make

or when the two of you are out and about on base free from the prying eyes of gaz and soap because they're out doing their own thing

you and simon love finding random groups of rowdy soldiers just to intimidate them

i don't know about you, but i can definitely see simon just standing there with his arms crossed and eyes narrowed while you rest your hands on your hips with your lips pulled into a frown

price definitely gets complaints about the two of you

he does nothing about them

and for a while that's pretty much the gist of how you and simon spend your time together

but i like to imagine that after a particularly rough mission, simon would seek you out just to sit with you

and i can see him as a stress smoker so when he finally does manage to find you and take a seat beside you, you slide him a pack of cigarettes and a lighter

he doesn't ask how you know his cigarette preference, but instead gives you a small nod of approval before pulling up his mask over lips and taking a drag

and that's how you spend your night

just sitting beside each other as you watch the evening sky gradually begin to fill with stars

i think it would depend on how bad the mission went in order to determine exactly how long the two of you stay sitting under the stars, but it doesn't matter because it'll end the same way; you reaching over and giving simon's hand a quick squeeze with a small, "get some sleep, simon. you need it," before you walk away

and he finds himself confused to two reasons

reason one: why did you grab his hand why did he like it?

reason two: how can you say such sweet words but still look so mad?

as much as he wants to play that moment over in his head just to make sure he was remembering things right, he decides against it in favor of heeding your words and getting some sleep

but it's after that moment he can't help but notice how your mannerisms have changed

not only are your words of reassurance more apparent than before, he's also noticed you have a tendency to give his hand/shoulder a reassuring squeeze every now and then

he can't help the small smile that threatens to pull at his lips when you do

but he also can't help but notice how distant and reserved your face looks when you do all of these things

he doesn't really mind it though

but he eventually does bring it up to you one day

it's probably after he tells you one of his god awful dad jokes

like he'll look over at you and notice your sour expression and say something like, "don't look so pissed, they're not that bad."

and you'll respond with a tilt of your head as you tell him, "i'm not pissed. i like your jokes."

then he'll nudge your shoulder before telling you, "with that face? coulda fooled me."

and you'll roll your eyes in faux annoyance as you brush him off with a simple, "that's just my face."

and then he'll look down at you, thankful for his mask so you can't see the small smile making its way onto his face

he might even say something dumb and cheesy like, "i know. i like it."

and you give him one of your rare smiles

and i could end it there and say the two of you are bffs

or i could sprinkle in something about soap running up on the two of you chanting, "my plan worked, my plan worked!"

that's for you to decide

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hxney-lemcn · 7 months

Text

Scavenger — Farmworld! Finn Mertens x gn! reader

summery: After Finn saved their life, reader becomes a family friend of the Mertens. What happens when the family becomes too accustomed to their presence?

tw: mentions of blood and injury (nothing too descriptive but it's there). hurt/comfort. this is gn! but I couldn't find a good term for a gn! parent...but you can choose what they call you :)

a/n: I am so down bad for Farmworld Finn that it brought me out of my hole and got me writing again lmao. So enjoy

wc: 1.9k

Master List

The sun beat down heavily as I ventured from stall to stall. I shifted my scarf to better cover my shoulders from the sunlight. I was a scavenger. I explored the desolate lands that were already looted as is and took any interesting trinkets I could manage to find. I’d trade it for food or any other things I needed, then I’d head out of the city to the Merten's household. It was a lineup I ended in a long time ago.

Years ago, I found myself attacked by a group of mutant coyotes while on a hunt. I fought them off the best I could, but ended up wounded in return. I cursed myself for not carrying more medical supplies. I cleaned and wrapped my wounds to the best of ability, but I knew I needed to head back to the city. The walk back felt longer than I remembered, and suddenly in my slightly dazed mind, I realized I wasn’t aware of my surroundings.

Scavenging was a dangerous practice. You had to be aware of your surroundings at all times, because for all you knew you were on some gang territory and you’d be dead or seriously injured. I myself didn’t join any gang, I worked alone. Which may seem dumb, but I find that you’re not too much safer in any gang than alone. They’re all selfish and only seem to care for themselves. Even without gangs, you have to be aware of wildlife, as everything has become more dangerous. Not to mention stocking up. You can’t bring too much with you, not that there’s much supplies anyways, but if you bring too little you might as well be dead.

I kept walking, trying to gather in my surroundings. Blood started to drip down my arm, my wound having been poorly bandaged. I tried to stay calm as the pain was pounding throughout my body, hoping glob would look down on me with pity and bring me someone who would help.

I couldn’t stop the pained yelp as I absentmindedly brushed against a thorny bush. My chest constricted as the world started to spin, stars invading my vision. If this was how I ended…it would honestly be really sad. I kept walking until I stumbled to the ground. Perhaps I should rest. I leaned back against a tree, focusing on breathing properly. The swirling got worse as I heard a branch being broken. I took out my dagger, looking around, which only made everything worse.

I closed my eyes hard, trying to correct my vision. If I’m dying, I’m going down fighting. More rustling was heard and I quickly opened my eyes, only to see a man in front of me. He was tall, fit, and had one prosthetic arm. I don’t remember seeing him in any gangs, I would remember since he definitely stands out. I can only hope he’ll be merciful.

“Please…help,” I whispered out before I finally fell unconscious.

That was how I met Finn Mertens.

Merciful he was. Him and his children helped nurse me back to health, and in return, I helped around the house where I could. At first, Finn didn’t want me doing anything, but I insisted that I wasn’t going to be a burden on this already large family. So he agreed I could help the kids with small house chores. It felt embarrassing when he told his oldest kid, Jay, to keep an eye on me.

When I was nearly fully healed, I thanked the family, and promised to visit and bring them something for their kindness. Finn seemed a bit weary, but didn’t protest.

Which led to now. I’ve grown quite close to the family. When I’m out scavenging, I can’t help but search for toys or items the kids would enjoy, or possibly even Finn…but he’s a bit hard to please. When in the city, I trade for items that I know will help them out, and in return, they allow me to stay for as long as I need to. It's a nice symbiotic relationship.

I smiled as I finally approached the house. I managed to get some really good meat, and I was even thinking of cooking something for the family. I only hope Finn doesn’t react too badly to the proposition. I understand how the soup they’ve been eating means a lot to them, and I hope I’m not overstepping, but I also know how they must want to try something different.

I knocked on the door, hoping it would be Finn answering so I could talk to him about the meal first. It seemed like glob really was on my side as Finn stood on the other side.

“You know you don’t have to knock anymore,” Finn greeted.

I looked off to the side a bit embarrassed, “I know but I still feel awkward about it.” I wasn’t sure if I was seeing things, but I swear he slightly smiled.

“Come in,” He motioned.

“Oh!” I exclaimed, almost forgetting what I was gonna ask due to his handsomeness. “Hey I was wondering-”

I was cut off by a chorus of the younger kids calling out my name.

“Hey guys,” I smiled, setting my sack on the kitchen counter. “I gotta talk to your dad real quick okay? Then I’ll come and see what you’re up to.”

“Okay!” They cheered, pushing each other slightly as they ran off.

I turned back to Finn who was already looking at me, I felt shy under his gaze. It was held with a warmth I normally only see him look at his kids with. I opened my sack revealing the cut of meat I got.

“I was wondering if it would be okay to cook something for dinner,” I finally said, keeping my eyes down. It was silent for a few seconds which put me a bit on edge, “I don’t mean to overstep or anything, I totally understand if you want to stick to the stew. I can just add the meat to that-”

“Okay.”

I looked up at him in shock, “Seriously?”

He nodded, “I can help.”

My heart stuttered, not expecting him to let me cook in the first place, let alone help. “O-okay!” I slightly stuttered, feeling a warmth enveloping me at the situation. “Do you have any seasonings?”

At first it was only Finn and I cooking, but slowly, the kids started joining as well. Some came when I didn’t come find them like I promised earlier, others enticed by the smell of something other than stew. It was nice, a big family bonding moment.

I think that's what kept drawing me back. Not only did I find Finn to be handsome, but his family was such a welcoming one. I wasn’t a fan of children, I didn’t really have any experience with them. Growing up in a wasteland, children meant more mouths to feed. And I was never really focused on finding love or making a family. I had to look after myself. I didn’t have land, or any prestige. Just a scavenger looking for their next meal.

So being tended to and cared for by five children was a bit of a shock. I got to know them on a personal level and my aversion to children seemed to vanish. I was awkward around them at first, but I learned how to treat them, and soon I found myself wanting to be there for them. The domesticity of it all warmed me in a way I thought was impossible. It made me forget that the world was unforgiving, that there was still good in the world.

“Dinner is served,” I stated proudly, seven plates of food set on the table.

“Thanks (momma/daddy),” Bonnie thanked absentmindedly before digging in.

I felt myself tense, looking over to Finn who also seemed tense. Oh glob please tell me I didn’t do something wrong. I mean her calling me as her parent wasn’t my fault, but I didn’t want to seem like I was replacing their beloved mother. Nothing was said as the children ate without worry. Jay tried to talk about something he found, and I tried replying like I wasn’t sweating bullets, but I think he felt the tension too.

Once dinner was finished, I went to wash the dishes, wanting to avoid any thought of what just happened. If I pretend like nothing happened, it never did…yup. It didn’t help that after everyone was finished eating (which was very quick), Finn just walked out the door.

“Hey,” Jay popped in.

“Hello,” I replied, putting the dish to the side to be rinsed.

Without saying anything, he helped rinse the dishes. It was like that for a minute before he finally said something, “You’ve become a member of our family. We still love our mother…but you’ve helped bring back something she left. Dad’s been a lot happier…Neptr’s been learning a lot more with the gadgets you bring him. Stormo’s gotten a lot stronger with the basic defense you teach him. Fern found that he loves nature through what you’ve taught him in the forest. Bonnie loves having someone to play with. And…you’ve helped me with…my thing…”

“How’s Little D been?” I asked with a soft smile.

“Good,” Jay blushed slightly. “I know Dad is still struggling with Mom’s passing…but you’re good for this family. So…please don’t leave.”

I looked over to him in shock, “Leave? Oh Jay, I’m not leaving. I just…don’t want to seem like I’m replacing her. And ultimately, the decision is up to your father. I mean…if he deems…I don’t know, that I’ve become too close, or…I know I’m just overthinking. I just don’t want to upset anyone.”

“You’re not upsetting anyone,” Finn’s voice rang out from behind us. I felt myself flustered in embarrassment at the fact he heard about my worries. Jay took it as his queue to leave and I turned around to face the man I was slightly avoiding. Finn motioned me to follow him and we sat in the living room, the kids being occupied by their own interests.

“I’m…sorry if I made you feel that way earlier,” Finn apologized, staring into the fireplace.

“It’s not your fault,” I laughed nervously. “You know how I get.” His gaze fell onto me, and the pure emotion in his eyes made me melt.

“I’ve come to realize just how important you are to our family, how important you are to me,” He continued. My heart melted even worse when he called his family ours. “...I…” He seemed to struggle with what he was trying to communicate.

I slid closer to him, putting my hand over his gently. Our fingers intertwined and suddenly the room felt really warm. I think I know what he’s trying to imply, but I want to be 100% sure. We sat like that for a few minutes, letting him think of the right way of saying what he wanted to.

“Would you stay, and officially become a part of our family?” He asked, the lightest tint of pinks covering his cheeks.

“Are you asking me to marry you?” I blurted out, feeling my own cheeks warm at the thought. Although we never officially courted or dated…I wouldn’t be opposed.

“We can take things slow if you’d rather.”

Leaning over, I kissed his cheek, “I think we’ve been going pretty slow.”

…

“Good job Bonnie,” Jay whispered, handing her a fruit he got from the city as they watched their dad and new parent finally come together.

#adventure time x reader #fionna and cake x reader #finn mertens x reader #farmworld finn #farmworld finn mertens x reader #finn mertens #fionna and cake #x reader #adventure time #adventure time imagine #fionna and cake imagine

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aemondsvisenya · 11 months

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Aemond x Reader who uses sign language

This idea is so random but I refuse to back down from it, hear me out…

Disclaimer: I’m not deaf, nor am I completely mute - I have been learning British Sign Language, however, as it’s part of Makaton which can be used by autistic people like myself. However, because this is Westeros, there’s no official sign language and so I haven’t described the signs in great detail

✨ Reader has no assigned pronouns or gender, and I haven’t specified why you use sign language - could be for a deaf reader, could be for someone who is mute… whatever the reason, you’re valid! ✨

When Aemond first meets you, he’s taken aback by how attractive you are, so he immediately goes to speak to you - only to be confused when you just smile bashfully at the sight of him but don’t say hello back

One of your friends has to explain to the Prince that you don’t speak (they quietly explain the reason so that no one else overheard), and that you use your hands to communicate. You’re a little afraid then that he’ll be disgusted by you or think that you’re deficient in some way, that you’re incomplete

Yeah, no, you couldn’t be more wrong about that

For one thing, Aemond is a scholar: he has studied many languages, though none more so than High Valyrian of course, and so he’s of course intrigued to learn that there’s a language that doesn’t involve speaking aloud, that people can use their hands to speak instead. While he thinks it must take longer, he also muses that it would be interesting and also helpful in certain situations to not have to use a voice to communicate

Secondly, Aemond is all too familiar himself with people thinking him deficient - people still shudder when they talk about his eye, even though he makes sure to wear the eyepatch all day and to never remove it unless he’s alone in his room. He knows what it is to be treated like he’s lesser, to have to work harder to overcome a disability - and he immediately sympathises with you

Aemond begins researching, seeing if there are any books on the subject of using hands to speak, but the information out there is extremely limited - so it makes sense, of course, that he go to you directly to learn first hand

At first you’re shy and a little scared because what would the One-Eyed Prince want with you? But to your surprise, he does his best to be reassuring, and he eventually gets across to you that he actually wants to learn some of the hand movements so that he can speak to you properly

As I said, Aemond is a dutiful pupil - he picks up on it faster than most others might

Some are relatively easy to remember, he finds; hello is a gentle wave, thank you is moving a hand down from the chin and bowing the head… he laughs softly when you grin and show him that “dragon” is miming blowing fire with your fingers acting as flames. Others aren’t as easy, admittedly, but he practices long after your sessions together in the privacy of his chambers, usually using a mirror to make sure his movements are clear and fluid

Before too long, it becomes second nature to him; he immediately starts signing to you when you pass each other, saying the words out loud to himself even as his hands move gracefully. He really does have such beautiful hands, you often find yourself thinking, with such long fingers… that thought definitely makes you blush

You’re honestly touched by his efforts because no one else has ever tried this hard just to speak to you, just to understand you, and it makes your heart grow in your chest that Aemond would do such a thing for you

What’s even more surprising is that soon enough, Aemond even begins doing some of the signs without even thinking when he’s talking to other people - only a couple of basic ones like please and thank you before he realises what’s he’s doing and stops, but it still happens from time to time

When Aemond asks to court you, he does it in perfect sign language but you have to ask him to repeat it because your eyes are blurry with joyful tears; he worries for a moment that he’s gotten the signs wrong but you hurriedly use your hands to tell him that no, he did it right, you’re just so happy and you want to see him ask again

Honestly he’s just super attentive and highly tuned to whatever it is that you’re saying, you always feel like you’re being heard when you’re with him because he takes everything you sign seriously

Woe befall anyone who dares mock or make cruel comments about you - Aemond doesn’t have time for such uneducated filth, and he wastes no time in making sure they never do such a thing again

#house of the dragon #aemond targaryen #aemond targaryen x reader #ewan mitchell

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wiltkingart · 8 months

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Do you have any advice on how 2 not overwork a drawing? Over-detailing my art (to the detriment of the final result) is a big weakness of mine, and ive been working on it lately, but simplifying my art is way harder than I thought itd be. I keep getting stuck in a mentality that less detail = less effort, even though all my struggling should prove that isnt true lol. & I almost always like my simpler drawings better, even though that makes me feel kinda lazy…as long as it’s fun tho, right? [1/2]

I’m asking here bc one of the things I adore about your work is how confident and striking your paintings feel. I really admire the way colors and shape language interact in your art…I always want to keep looking to see what I can find hidden in the details, but they don’t take away from the main focus of the image. How do you manage to strike that balance? [2/2] (sorry for the long question lol)

honestly this is still something i struggle with at times! but some things that have helped me are:

- identifying which parts i tend to overwork the most. for me thats faces so i have made it a conscious habit to render faces last. that way i can match my level of face rendering to the rest of the piece.

- working on all parts of the painting at once. some artists are able to work on a painting from section to section. this is not me, regardless of detail level. jumping around all over the place keeps me from focusing too hard on one section above others. i even take this one step further by working on 2+ paintings simultaneously but there is something wrong with me for this one i'll admit.

- staying zoomed out for as long i can. this goes in hand with the previous point but when you're zoomed out its easier to lay down the biggest/primary color blocks without the temptation to detail. once the main color blocks are nicely balanced its easier to pick out a few points of interest to add spots of detail to, and restrain myself to them. (easier said than done! but i try!)

- getting comfortable with backtracking / deleting overworked sections and layers. this might seem scary but this has saved my ass more times than you might think. i always save a version of my drawings before i merge everything / start rending so i can always copy over earlier sections if needed.

- cold turkey removing details from the equation for a while. i did this more from necessity than choice, because i was struggling with my health a few years back and had zero energy to sink into art for long hours. but looking on the bright side it helped me realize what details are/aren't necessary and how to build my features from big -> small. this progression of my patho art shows pretty well how i introduced details back into my work over time.

but yeah! sometimes i do still find myself creeping a little too close to overwork territory for comfort, even with all these safeguards in place. in that case i have to accept that not every piece i put out will be my 'best' and that perfection has no place in art. that's not the point of it!

simplifying forms isn't easy, the same way abstract art isn't lazy. but with all things it can be learned with enough practice. and if you decide at the end of it all that you still like drawing a lot details, it might be a matter of readjusting how / where you implement them. best of luck <3

#long post #ask wilt

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hockybish · 4 months

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She's Done With Him

l hughes!sister au l lola hughes l masterlist l

Jack had been making more of a conscious effort to be better to Lola. He still hadn't said sorry for the years of teasing, he wouldn't even know where to begin.

But he was willing to put everything on the line with their relationship when he got a phone call from Mason about this guy named Robbie who Lola was seeing. He couldn't help it, the older protective brother came out when he heard that the douche bag was cheating on her.

"Now you're positive it was Robbie who you saw?" Jack confirmed with the Ducks' player over the phone. It was late in New Jersey and he was tired after a hard fought game.

"Yes, Jack. Even ask Z he was there too."

That was enough for him. Trying to keep his anger in check, he took the number from Mason, promising he would take care of the problem. He wasn't going to do much, maybe just give the kid a little call, and talk.

"Hi Robbie, this is Jack." He paused for a second, waiting for the man on the other end to acknowledge him, but he could heat the hesitancy when Robbie didn't answer "Hughes, Lola's older brother?"

"Oh, you're the one who hates her right?" Jack could feel him smirking through the phone, irking him even more.

"I don't hate her, you know what I don't have to explain myself to you. I know what you've been doing. The girls and the drinking? Especially when she was injured in December."

"I don't know what you're talking about. I haven't done anything wrong. I really like her." Robbie stuttered, a lame attempt at covering his tracks.

"Hm, yeah okay. Tell me was she just one of your side pieces?" Jack asked not believing a thing he was being told by this so called boyfriend. "That's what I thought."

"I didn't, I'm not"

"Break up with her"

"What"

"I said break up with her, or else"

"Or else what? There's nothing you can do to scare me"

"Robbie, there are at least four hockey teams plus countless others who will not hesitate to end you when they hear what you're doing. So break up with her or I'll let them know what you did" Jack threatened.

"You're bluffing"

"Try me. These guys can get really scary. And I'd hate for anything to happen to you."

A few days later Robbie did what Jack told him to do, he broke up with Lola. He didn't tell her why he was or that her brother was practically forcing him to. If he wanted to twist the knife even further, he could have said something. But she was already heartbroken and secretly Robbie was still a little worried Jack was going to send a goon after him.

Lola cried for a couple of days, this wasn't like when she had broken up with Matty, that was more of a mutual decision since they were going in opposite directions and they were better as friends. This break up took her by surprise, she thought they were in a good place, but apparently they weren't.

It hurt and she honestly kind of wanted Buggy her old stuffy from when she was younger. She really considered calling Jack and seeing if he still had it, but she thought better, knowing he probably would have made some snide remark about it, even though lately they had been doing better.

Lola called for an emergency sibling night with Quinn, which helped a lot, but she still swiped the bottle of tequila hidden away and found her way into her previous roommates bed.

After a week of moping around, she picked herself, brushed off the dirt and got back to her life. She worked harder in practice and even spent more time with her friends. Things were really looking up until late in the evening on February 29th.

The Ducks' had gotten in late that evening after playing in San Jose. Lola needed to make a quick run into the store to get something for Ellen that she had forget all the way back in Michigan.

Lola was only going to be a few minutes, but she spotted the one person she never really wanted to see again. She tried to ignore him the best she could, it was Robbie who walked up to her and was the one to start talking. They made pleasant small talk, but she had a nagging question she wanted to ask.

"Can I ask you something real quick? Why did you break up with me?"

"Oh Jack didn't tell you?" Robbie raised his eyebrows in feign shock. "Jack forced me to break up. He threatened that if I didn't, I was gonna get beat up."

Of course Jack had a hand it. Lola should have expected that. Jack ruins everything.

The ride back home was a little quieter. She had some things to think about before she saw her brother later that day.

After the game the Hughes clan were planning on getting dinner at a nice restaurant before Luke and Jack jetted off to the next destination. Lola was going to give them a ride. As soon as she saw Luke she gave him a hug and glared at the other one before making her move.

"What the fuck?" Jack's face stung as Lola's palm hit him on the cheek.

"You told him to break up with me? I how could you? I was happy. Why couldn't you let me be happy for once? You always mess everything up!"

"Clem you can be mad at me all you want, I was just trying to protect you."

"Don't you dare call me that. You don't have that right anymore. because I hate you. I hate you Jack." She spat in his direction.

After what seemed like years of her older brother hating her for apparent reason Lola had had enough of it and was completely done with Jack. Wanting nothing more to do with her older brother, this is when she decided to cut him out of her life, even if it meant she was going to have to cut Quinn and Luke out too.

"You don't mean that. Clem -" Jack knew he had taken it too far this time, but all he had been trying to do was protect his sister. And sometimes that made him the bad guy.

Lola gave him a look that ultimately broke his heart because he knew she meant it. She truly hated him, but he would rather her hate him, than see her with a broken heart over a guy who couldn't keep it in his pants.

"Lola. I'm sorry. Please take it back." Jack pleaded. He looked back at Luke and Quinn for help, but he was on his own with this.

"No, Jack. I mean it this time."

"Lola." She slapped him again and was getting ready to do it again. She wasn't one to hit or attack anyone, but tonight she couldn't help herself with her anger.

"Jack. I think you need to leave." Trevor pushed Lola behind him towards Jamie and Mason, putting himself in between the two siblings. Similarly Luke tried to grab ahold of jack's arm and pull him away.

The drive from the Honda Center to their shared home wasn't long, but playing a big game and the emotions from her argument took its toll and Lola fell asleep on the ride home. Mason didn't want to wake her, he opted to carry her in instead placing her in her bed and throwing her favorite blankets on top.

"Stay." Lola reached out, grabbing onto Mason's wrist, effectively stopping him in his tracks. "I don't want to be alone. Please Mason?"

The older boy obliged, he sighed crawling into the bed next to her. Lola flipped around to face him, she reached out for his face and ran her thumb across his face as they fell asleep.

#lola hughes #hughes!sister au #jack hughes #mason mctavish

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jinx-420 · 8 months

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Summer fling 2 - classic trick

Pt one - Summer fling

Summary: Your brothers childhood friend joins your family’s annual summer beach trip, nothing has changed between you two…right?

Warnings: brothers bsf Abby x fem reader, gets a teeny bit smutty, smoking weed, Abby calls reader princess like a billion times. this isn't proof read at all..

A/N : this was sitting in the drafts unfinished foreverrrr so I forced myself to write rq so I didn’t wanna leave y’all hangin for even longer 😍 I hope this one is good enough 🔥‼️

“Abby would you be a dear and wake her up, honey?” Abby politely agreed and put her focus on you, which doing so happened to keep her entertained the entire car ride. Your hair was slightly messy as you turned in your sleep. Abby would be lying if she said she hasn’t felt a little creepy staring at you sleeping for so long, but she just can’t stop looking at you, observing your features, wondering what your dreaming about. it almost gave abby a sense of nostalgia as she recalls when you were a kid, always falling asleep on road trips or whenever they had movie nights, which always ended with Jordan having to wake you up, leading you to become grumpy for the remainder of the movie. Abby wished she could be the one to wake you up every time, even though you had a known tendency to be grumpy when woken up, she didn’t care, if given the opportunity Abby would make you a perfect breakfast in bed in return for a kiss. (Not like she planned it out or anything) to be truthful Abby was slightly intimidated by the task of waking you, which is logical considering she had never woken you before, Jordan always rushing to annoy you. As Abby was picking at the reasons to not wake you up in her head, they were pulling into a gas station so Abby knew it was inevitable. She would just have to cross her fingers and hope for the best. She approached you gentle and brung her hand to your head, softly pushing your hair behind your ear before she moved her hands to your cheeks, gently caressing your face until your eyelids twitched, letting her know you would be waking up. You let out a gentle sign as your body started to wake up. With your barely conscious, blurry waking up brain, you snuggled into whatever the hell was so warm and comfortable.. which was Abby. Her brain practically short circuited seeing you getting very comfortable with her body. You snuggled your face on her waist, her shirt rising as you snuggle slightly deeper into the material, Abby feeling your face but more importantly lips on her waist. Abby felt pathetic the way you were making her feel like she was touch starved, she was always the one for that job. with other girls she was contained and abby always the one making them flustered, but with you it was a whole different story. Abby doesn’t comprehend how you seem to be making her a mess when you don’t even mean to, it’s honestly frustrating. even just last night Abby found herself almost loosing her composure with just having you touch her. She also is reminded of the fact that you got her so worked up and so fucking desperate for you, she couldn’t help but relieve all the ache you gave her after practically teasing her all night. Abby would also like to brush over the fact that she used your hoodie to get off, or just forget about the whole thing completely. “Is she awake yet” Jordan asks, snapping Abby out of her haze. “Oh she’s waking up” Abby says trying to play off the fact she zoned out staring at you. “Alright do you want to come with me in the gas station?” He asked while yawning. “Nah I’m good but can you get me a water and get her those smoothies she likes?” Abby said watching as he gets out of the car. “Yeah sure, be back in a sec” he says shutting the door softly, jogging up to your mom. Abby was so caught up in the conversation with Jordan she failed to realize you stirring in your sleep a bit.

“Cmon don’t give me a hard time wake up” Abby says with a giggle and squishing your cheeks together until you finally opened your eyes and gave her an unexpected hazy smile. “There she is, you get your beauty sleep princess ?” She says ruffling your hair. You playfully swat her hand away as you start to sit up, taking in the fact you were sleeping on her. “Oh shit, I’m sorry i didn’t plan to sleep that long..” you say as you look outside to see the dark skies. “Like I said last night, I don’t mind you snuggling up to me” Abby said with a little chuckle, seeing that you were slightly frantic. You had to admit this was the first time someone had woken you up that you didn’t want to kill them first thing you do, in fact you wished that abby would wake you up ever morning. Seeing that face first thing when you wake up, now that’s how you start the day.

“Anyways how’d you sleep?” Abby said staring relentlessly in the eyes that she missed so dearly. “Mmm you know it could be better” you say sarcastically with a teasing smile, staring the same way into her own eyes. “Oh is that so?” Abby said leaning back with her arms crossed together, manspreading an unnecessary amount. Although you were tempted more than anything to look at her arms or legs, you refuse to break eye contact. “Mhm” you say nodding your head. “If I was so uncomfortable then how come you just kept snuggling deeper and deeper into me hm?” Abby said with rasp at the end, making the eye contact almost unbearable, but you still didn’t give in. “Yeah right” you said feeling your face heating up, trying to play off how you knew it was most likely true. “Oh yeah? not like I have proof or anything..” abby said suspiciously looking around with a smile. “Abby I will kill you if you took a picture” you said, covering your face with your hands. you heard her trying to conceal her laugh and that’s when you looked back at her hesitantly. she was already pulling up the photo of you sleeping on her, snuggled right on her thighs and head slightly under her shirt. “Nuh. Uh.” You said in disbelief at her. “Your dead” you said through a giggle as you tried to reach her phone, after failing to swat her phone out of her hands a couple times you started to get closer, crawling so her leg was in between both of your knees. “Abby I’m serious.” You said failing to do so as she holds it in her hands giggling. You tried prying her fingers apart to get your phone but she didn’t let up. You let out a deep breath as you leaned your head against the seat, tired and accepting defeat that Abby would have the photo. Too busy staring at the stars, you miss the way Abby looks you up and down on her leg, paying extra attention to how your lips are parted, slightly out of breath, imagining this is how it would look after she fucked you. After a moment of silence you glance at Abby to see her giving you eyes that made her look drunk, slightly heavy while looking up at you. “What is it” you say quietly as if someone could hear you both, A smile growing across your face. Meanwhile Abby was far too deep in her thoughts to respond. Abby was going through possibility of you being into girls, she has always wondered. I mean you were the one to make Abby realize she liked women after all. She thought about all the times she tried to get something out of you to see any hint of your sexual orientation. It went from asking if you know who an openly gay person was, to picking a movie in which she knows there’s a lesbian sex scene. She would watch and observe you almost as much as the movie, trying to find any indication you liked it. And that’s exactly what she was doing right now, scanning your face to see any want in your eyes for her. “no use…” Abby said under her breath, not repeating herself when she heard you reciprocate a soft “hm?”.

you felt more confused than ever, did Abby say “no use” and if so why? You were silently staring at her trying to see where it came from. It’s not like your bad at reading people’s emotions, you have always been good at it especially with people important to you, So why couldn’t you read Abby ? Maybe it was a mix of not wanting to assume anything crazy and also that she changed?

“Hey guys, got your drinks”

———————————————————

You were peacefully reading your book, only calming your mind down from everything with Abby just a short while ago. “Gotcha” Jordan says cackling like a witch as he snatched your book away from you. “Ohmygod you’re such a dick give it back” you say rushed before you lean over the seat to achieve your book once again, quickly sitting back down. he should know you don’t play around with your books. You let out a sigh as you recognize that Abby was particularly quiet when this ordeal happened. You glance over at her but didn’t suspect her to still be on her phone, uncaring. This behavior wasn’t like Abby, you don’t remember one time where she didn’t stick up for you or help you when your brother would pick on you but she didn’t even look.. is something still wrong from earlier ? If there’s one thing you absolutely hate, it’s when someone is mad at you and you don’t know why. You plan to sort this out as soon as you can, you hate that she’s the only thing you can think about right now.

Obviously, too zoned out to notice practically anything right now, the thing that caught you out of your trance wasn’t your mom and brother cheering at our arrival to the vacation house, it wasn’t the bumps on the bridge you were crossing, and it wasn’t the bright view of the sunrise above the ocean water. It was her, giving you those same damn eyes again. With all this time in the car you have had more than enough time to think things over, I mean cmon who looks at their childhood friends like that? You can’t be imagining things.

It felt like it was just the two of you, stuck in a trance together. If things could get any better, it definitely just did. her desperate eyes rake over your body, her lips separating as she lets out a rushed breath. she looks back into your eyes, seeing your face all flushed and the same desperate look in your eyes. You wish more than anything to stay in your own little world like this forever with Abby but your brother had to ruin it once again.

“Me and Abby get the biggest room”

He says as he climbs out of the car.

Your mom looks at Jordan as she’s stepping out of the car conflicted. “Oh about that honey, I think it would be best if two girls had the same room..”

Jordan looks at you both and your mom confused. “Just for sleeping Jordan, she can stay as long as she wants with you just not in the same bed” Jordan rolls his eyes before shutting the door to get his luggage.

You took a breath before starting to sit up and leave the car before you feel a firm hand on your shoulder holding you down. “Don’t worry, we’ll have lots fun princess” she said leaned into you in a quiet voice, lifting her hand off your shoulder. You felt so intimidated by her, those fucking eyes kill you. Not to mention when she touches you it does things to you that you don’t understand. You silently pray things will go your way this beach trip.

———————————————————

It had been hours since everyone got packed in and comfy, the sun already set and stars starting to come out. As you sit on the balcony outside your room the smell of the ocean as the summer breeze hits you brings you back to every year you come here. You would like to focus on these memories but of course, abby intrudes your mind, specifically the fact that you two will be sharing a bed this whole trip. (not that your complaining) the only thing that scared you with her was the fact that you not only grew up with her, but she’s practically your family, which is off limits. “watcha doin out here” a much too familiar voice comes from behind you. “Just lookin” you said simply as you keep your eyes on the sky above you. “Looking at the stars?” Abby says coming closer. “Looking at how perfect it is here” you said looking at her next to you. The light from the moon illuminating her face and making her the most perfect thing here. Abby adored the way you would stare at her in moments like these, but she had to look away in order to not embarrass herself again. “What time is it?” Abby said as she stood next to you. You looked at her side profile and took in her appearance for a second, she was wearing a grey muscle shirt and black sweatpants. Before you were caught staring too long you looked at your phone to check the time. “11pm” you said while clicking your phone back off. She let out a hum and it went silent, both of you looking at the stars above you. Atleast that’s what you think, abby was far too busy staring at you. You were observing the little craters in the moon before you felt your body being lifted across her shoulder, making you shriek her name before giggling. Abby took it upon herself to sit down in the chair you were once sitting on and placed you right on her lap, your legs straddling hers, her arms snaking around your waist tightly, locking you onto her. You look at her as you move a bit in her lap, “not comfy ?” She asked with her eyebrows slightly concerned. You opened your mouth to respond before she pulled your lower back further on her lap, pressed fully against each other. You closed your mouth quickly to stop any noises to come out from the friction of her practically grinding you onto her. No way you would survive a whole month of this. “You wanna smoke?” Abby said casually like this was nothing as she tilts her head against you looking like a puppy dog. You nod your head almost hypnotized on her. She smiles with her teeth digging into her bottom lip, reaching in her pockets and pulling out a joint and a lighter. She placed the joint in between your lips and lit the end as you inhaled, the smoke in your lungs comforting you already. She takes the joint and takes a hit herself, blowing it away from you before leaning in to give you another hit. As you inhaled Abby pointed and said loudly “Shark !!!”your eyes went wide at her outburst as you start to cough on the smoke. You begin laughing as you see her smile and punch her slightly on the arm. “Asshole”

The both of you stayed out there for hours, talking about anything and everything.

———————————————————

“Hey, you fallin asleep again?”

Abby said in a level just above a whisper, everyone else asleep in the house. “Pshhh me? I never fall asleep” you said yawning mid sentence, making you both giggle an absurd amount. “You know what I was thinkin?” She said still giggling. “Oh god up to no good” you say hiding in her chest tearing up from all the high laughs. “We never did that prank on Jordan, I say now’s the perfect time” she said raising her eyebrows at the last bit. Your eyes widen at her words remembering the forgotten prank. “I’ll get the water” you said quickly, ready to get some payback. You attempted to raise yourself off of Abby before she pulled you back onto her, once again pulling your lower back to be against her. “Easy tiger, don’t you think we could do better than the classic trick” abby said finger quoting the end. “You’re so right. What are you thinkin ?” You said curious to what trick would be better. Abby looked around pondering before raising her brows. “Man.. I got a great one but I don’t think you can handle it.” She said slightly teasing you, blowing air out of her puffed cheeks and looking up. “oh shut up I can handle anything” you say shocked that she thinks you can’t handle a little prank, it was a little prank right? You thought before she tsked and looked you right in the eyes “how mad do you want him to be” Abby asked, eyebrows raised waiting for your answer. “Mad.” You said widening your eyes. Abby observed your face for a minute before responding. “Let’s make him think we’re fucking right next to him” your mouth falls open as you stifle a laugh. “And how are we ganna do that” you say in disbelief. “Well.. let’s go in his room, and then we’ll “fuck”and wake him up. Boom. Simple.” Abby said waiting for your reaction before laughing. “Relax, he will only be mad for a few seconds” she said still waiting for your response, biting her lip. “Fuck it” you said throwing your hands up laughing with Abby. “Atta girl” she said before reaching under your thighs holding you on her while standing up. God if Abby keeps it up with these praises your ganna go crazy. Abby steps into his room to hear his snoring and you immediately spot his led light and point to it making Abby chuckle, she switches it from the current color : blue, and change it to red. Abby walks over to the couch in his room and lays you down on it gently, picking up a blanket next to you before covering your legs in it. “I’m not cold abby” you said slightly confused. Abby looked at you briefly before sitting down infront of your legs “the blankets not there for heat babe” she says with a wink. Your face flushes realizing what you’re going to have to do to wake him up. as she put her arms under the blanket to spread your legs. “If everything goes to plan, we do this and he gets mad when he lifts up the blanket I’ll take a picture of his face” Abby said smiling and waiting for your response. if Abby knew all she had to do was a simple prank to get in between your thighs then this would be the “classic trick”

“Why can’t I be the one in the blanket” you said softly sitting up to meet Abby’s face. She scoffed before speaking in a raspy whisper “because which one of use looks like a pussy eater and which one of us looks like a pillow princess.” She said with a brief innocent smile. Your mouth was left open as you process her words, does Abby not know your lesbian? You’ve got to be joking. “Looks can be deceiving..” you say looking away with your lips to the side. Abby thought she was hearing things, “what’s that suppose to mean” Abby says quickly, Desperate for any clue you could want her. “Your not the only one that eats pussy is what I mean, Abby. And trust me. I am not a pillow princess.” You say simply stating facts. Nothing in the world could have possibly prepared Abby for what she was hearing. All this time you were lesbian? And from the sound of it as big as a lesbian as her? Abby’s head was spinning as she felt her face catch on fire and struggle to speak. Abby felt weak as she stared into your eyes, the eyes that didn’t know how wet she just made her, and just how much more Abby needed you. You loved seeing Abby in this state, it was definitely a rare sight and god you weren’t complaining one bit. Seeing her flustered was one thing but knowing that you caused it, filled you with feelings of pride and possessiveness that you want to keep feeling. “Abby” you whispered inching closer to her face. she had the same look on her face from the car, desperate. “Mhm” she responded, her eyes on at your lips. “Can I kiss y-“ Before being able to even finish your sentence Abby puts her hands on each side of your face and closes the space in between you. Finally feeling the lips you’ve thought about all these years felt like a drug, and you needed more. You put your much smaller hands on top of hers and moved your lips with hers like it would be the last time, your teeth grazed her puffy bottom lip before sliding your tongue over it making Abby audibly whimper. You felt like you were going to explode if you didn’t feel more of her soon, especially after hearing her whimpering. You pulled away to catch your breath to see a sight that defeated the purpose of doing so, Abby looking all fucked out with her puffy dark lips and flushed face. And those fucking eyes. She swallowed before speaking up in a voice that was pure lust. “Fuck this prank, strip.”

#abby anderson #fanfic #abby anderson smut #abby anderson fanfic #abby x fem!reader #abby x you #muscle mommy abby #abby the last of us #abby tlou #abby x reader #the last of us #tlou fanfiction #tlou hbo #tlou x reader #tlou smut #tlou part 2 #tlou fic #bbf

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pumpkzsafeplace · 8 months

Text

anon questions 💌: selective mutism in age regression.

selective mutism is when you feel comfortable talking in certain situations- but in others you can't. it can be linked to many things and can just become apparent or stay with you your whole life

i've suffered with selective mutism since i was a child, so here are some pumpkin tips to help <3.

it's okay ⭐

one of the first things i'd like to say is that it's completely okay and valid to have selective mutism. i suffered a lot with it through school and got my fair share of weird looks & hushed remarks.

just remember that it's completely valid, okay <3. we can't control, we don't force it to happen- it just does and it's something we have to live with. don't try and let the mean comments consume you okay? you're not a chore & you're not a burden either.

i thought i'd be lonely forever because of how broken i was- and now i have a positive page that helps people and a adoring boyfriend & caregiver of three years- things do get better <3.

❀•°❀°•❀ notebooks! 🌙

notebooks helped me a lot in school. i was not very verbal with strangers- i think our head master thought i was mute my entire school year & so to communicate with teachers i would use my notebook or leave little comments for them to read at the end of worksheets etc. notebooks can be used to draw illustrations of what you mean, leave notes, start conversations, be a silent form of communication between peers. it's honestly a life saver & helped me through some dark times <3.

❀•°❀°•❀

having a comfort person & space ⭐

my comfort person was a small group of friends i got to know near the end of my school year. before that i would eat & exist alone in either the school libary or in the corners of the school where no one really went. i think one of the downsides of having selective mutism is the loneliness that can follow- especially in an evironment where you need to talk first to create a bond. but just know that you won't be alone forever! your comfort people will come & honestly make you feel like you're euphoric 24/7. having a comfort person/place is almost like a safe heaven when things go bad. they can help order things, communicate your needs, and just protect you on those dark and overwhelming days <3

❀•°❀°•❀ apps & other things that can help. 🌙

when i was in school- i unfortunately didn't have the kind of support that i do now.

but for young honeybees- there is a mountain load to make those dark days a little less scary! there are plently of others but these are my two favourites! > AAC apps: Augmentative and alternative communication apps are avaliable to anyone that suffers with mutism in any form! i tend to use them a lot when i'm overstimulated & having autistic meldtdowns.

one of my favourite apps to use is Leeloo which is avaliable on android & apple! it's been a life saver and for the free version you get a healthy amount of free phrases <3.

> communication cards: these are a great for schools or any environments that don't allow technology! you are bascially have a handful of cards with basic communicational phrases and point to which one you'd like to express!

for me personally, these help best when i'm having panic attacks as the motion of going through and understanding each question helps me take control & ground myself a little easier <3

❀•°❀°•❀ pushing through the guilt. ⭐

the guilt of not being deemed 'normal' was one of the biggest things i had to overcome when i was younger. seeing people my age communicate with strangers so eaisly used to fuel so much anger and fustration because they use to do it so flawlessly- whilst i had to sit in front of a mirror and practice on repeat. but as i grew older and gotten to understand myself a little easier, i've realised that i was born into a world created and designed for people who don't have or suffer with what i go through. so why am i forcing myself to reach unexpected expetations when instead i can put myself & my mentality first and heal <3.

do whatever makes you happy, jump threough hurdles you want to go through and push to make a difference however you want! you don't have to had concured the moon to be somebody in the world.

sometimes just complimenting a stranger can make you the hero you want to be <3.

gif isn't mine

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hiswitchcraft · 1 year

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I am a witch who's trying to get back into witchcraft after an immense amount of burn out. The burn out wasn't due to the witchcraft, it was due to things piling on my brain in general. What sort of things do you suggest to ease myself back into it? If you don't have an answer that's okay, just thought to ask

I've been dealing with this myself and I actually just made a video on it that I really like not too long ago, so I think I can help you!

How to Come Back to the Craft After Burn Out (+ A Guide to doing Witchcraft with Low Spoons)

I was burnt out in general and because of the craft, particularly because of the way I was filtering my personal practice through social media. I realized a lot of my burnout was tied to pushing myself, and shame. I feel like maybe this is common. This is a mix of both personal and witchy advice, and I may be projecting, but I think you have to focus first and foremost on not rushing back in and getting overwhelmed by adding a bunch of stuff to your routine at once and trying to do everything right or perfect. A good practice or routine is sustainable, not perfect. Perfect is the enemy of good, and also the enemy of done. I've had to focus on this a lot recently.

With this in mind, you might be wondering where you should even begin when it comes to actually practicing again. Remember to go slow. I’d suggest thinking about what you were doing and interested in before and start practicing and researching whatever sounds the most fun when you’re ready. You could also go over any notes you had about your practice before, if you had a blog or something look at that, etc. You get the idea! It will help you remember and might inspire you. If you really enjoyed tarot for example, you could do that when you feel inspired to. Starting slow is important. if you want go slower you could just do whatever practices you were doing before, or like now, whenever you feel like it. You could also try working witchcraft into your routine. Routine is hard for a lot of people but it doesn’t have to be intense. It can just be adding one thing. That’s all it needs to be. It could be something you do once a month, once a week, when you wake up, after you brush your teeth, only some days or whatever you think will make you feel the best.

Of course I don’t know anything about your practice but to inspire you and others, here’s some ways you can easily introduce magic into your life.

Daily divination A tarot card every morning is what I like to do but you could use any kind of divination you like!

Meditation Meditate for a few minutes every morning/evening. Even 2 minutes makes a difference. Also, despite popular belief meditation does not have to be emptying your mind.

Dream interpretation Interpret or just journal about your dreams! Honestly journaling in general I think is great for witches.

Witchy items of the day Pick out some items to carry on you for the day. This could be crystals or herbs you want the properties of, a hag stone, or other items with properties you want to draw to you or use in your practice.

Intention in drinks & food! If you have coffee or tea every morning or day you can stir intention into it. Clockwise for things you want in, counterclockwise for things you want to banish. Or that’s the typical belief/way people suggest doing it. You can also stir sigils into it or add items to your drinks/food with or by intention.

Enchanting personal care Another way you can bring magic in your everyday life is enchanting personal care products. I’d do this for added layers of warding but you could get super creative with this and do whatever intention you like.

Sigils sigils sigils Sigils are fun to make. You can use them for a ton of other things on this list. Stir them into your drinks. Draw a sigil on your skin using lotion. Write them on your walls for warding. Sigils, sigils, ... sigils!

Spritz cleansing If you have a hard time cleansing or not a lot of energy right now when you DO have energy you can put together a mixture for cleansing using a spritz bottle and then you have it done and ready to go ahead of time for many cleansing sessions. Beware of herbs and things you add if you have any allergies/pets. Actually just research any plants you handle anyway.

Layering your wards If you’re struggling with burn out right now you probably don’t have a lot of energy so this is a tip I like for when this happens and just the long term overall. Always add small layers using different methods to your personal and spacial wards. An example of this I love is some of the above, carrying an item with strong protective properties or writing sigils on the bottom of your shoes/sewing them into your clothes/etc are some other ideas I love. Customize as needed! Be creative!

Basically just think of things you do everyday and try to make it witchy! Or think of practices you want to do more, like maybe cleansing, and figure out how to make it easier.

Also I did mention research. I think in addition to picking a practice to try again or add to your routine, picking a topic to research that sparks interest may help too. Here are some ideas for that!

Intention

Cleansing

Charging

Grounding

Warding

Circle casting

Consecration

Visualization

Meditation methods

Divination types (some are listed below)

Tarot

Oracle cards

Lenormand

Pendulums

Runes

Scrying

Astrology

Palmistry

Dream interpretation

Spell types & spell construction

Taglocks

Sigils

Other symbols & what they mean

The Theban alphabet

Color magic

Moon phases

The Elements

Correspondences of days, times, etc

Crystals

Moon water

Black salt

Plants, herbs, and spices in witchcraft

Local plants

Local history & folklore

Pantheons & their deities

Deity work

Spirit work

Astral projection

Hope this helps 💕

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iminloveweveryone · 9 months

Text

Cold

Grumpy simon smut

Here you go since I’m bad at writing smut without plot like gr anyway I think this is cute he’s kinda jealous a bit grumpy

Also if you have requests send them in! I’m always looking for ideas.

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“So? Are you in?”

“…”

“Yes.”

“Good, you leave tomorrow. 6 am.”

…

That’s how I found myself on a helicopter in the early morning, being transferred to the base where task force 141 resides.

I stared out the window quietly, since I’d run out of things to talk about with the pilot. I see a large building come into view as we slowly start to descend.

The heli lands and I grab onto my large duffel bag, swinging it over my shoulder. I look over our surroundings and see four men standing in the distance. I recognize only one, captain price.

I step out and walk over towards the group, a smile on my face.

“Hi, I’m Alessandra.” I say as I look between them. “John price, I’ve heard about you, laswell

Says your one hell of a shot.” He smiles at me and I only nod along.

“Soap, you can call me John if ya like lass.” He says with a grin spread across his face, I can’t help but notice his hair, which is cut into a Mohawk. I smile at the friendly man and shake his hand.

“I’m Kyle, team calls me Gaz though.” He nods at me before crossing his arms.

I look over to the last man who stays silent before Soap speaks up. “This here is si-“

“Ghost.” He says cutting off soap. I nod and give him a small smile.

The walk me through the base and what missions may come up soon, before dropping me off at my room and letting me settle in.

I place the few items I have around the rooms before smiling to myself and exiting. I wander down the hallway to where I remember the kitchen was.

It smells good?

I walk in and see price in the kitchen, storing something in a pot. “Ooh what are you makin?” I ask curiously as I take a seat at the kitchen counter.

“Chilli, perfect for winter, no?” He glances at me and I nod. I turn my head as soap walks into the kitchen “he says it’s world famous” he grins “honestly he probably stole the recipe from some old woman” he says making me laugh.

Price serves us a bowl of chilli and a piece of bread on the side. I begin eating when I look around and notice Ghost is absent from the table.

Gaz must have noticed me looking around as he speaks up. “Doesn’t like to eat around new people” he shrugs “don’t take it personal” he says with a friendly smile.

We all finished our food and have moved onto to board games, which I have to say i am the best at by far.

We’re playing charades, which Ghost has decided to not show up for either.

I was partnered with soap, and we were winning by a lot.

“Okay three words.” Gaz nods at the captain “first word.” He starts waving his arms around like a distressed seagull.

“Uh..windmill” He shakes his head and starts doing the motion again. “Damn, uh..” the timer goes off and soap and I cheer.

“It was flying a kite! I was trying to do a flying motion like a chicken” he puts his head in his hands dramatically.

“Chickens are horrible at flying idiot!” Price shouts before we all burst out into laughter, soap practically falling to the floor.

We play a few more rounds before calling it a night and everyone starts to head off to bed.

I’m waking down the hallway as I hear price call out to me, I turn to look at him.

“So you know, you’ll be shadowing Ghost tomorrow. Just to get a feel of things round here.” He says before patting my shoulder and heading off somewhere.

I head off to bed, practically falling asleep as soon as my face hits the pillow.

…

I’ve been looking for a Ghost for a while now, since I was supposed to shadow him. But he really lives up to his name since he is nowhere to be found.

I reach a shooting range which seems to be empty until I spot him at the very last lane. I walk inside and stand a few feet away.

He puts his gun down and turns to face me, somehow sending I was there..

He gives me a blank look probably wondering what I was doing but not saying anything.

“Price said I would shadow you today, to get a feel for things I guess?” I say as he only sighs and starts to put his gun away.

“So where are we going? Do you have to do much around here or is it more like waiting for the next mission?” I wonder out loud as he stays silent which urges me to talk more.

“And about the mission, how do you guys plan them? Or is it price who does most of it and then you guys kinda just follow the plan.” I say not even facing him anymore as I ramble on.

“Jesus..” I hear him mumble under his breath as he starts to walk out of the room. “Hey! Where are you going lieutenant?” I ask as I trail behind him.

He walks down a long hallway, a few soldiers passing by us and giving him a nod. I look around curiously, not having yet explored this part of the base.

I follow him into a room at the end of the hall, which starts to look more like a office the more I glance around.

As soon as I fully step inside he’s slamming me against the door and locking it. “Don’t know how to be quiet, huh?” He asks as he pins my arms above my head.

I can only sit there and stare at him, fully at a loss for words.

“Acting all friendly with everyone, don’t you know when to shut up? Don’t you notice all the people eyeing you.” He says in a cold tone as his face is inches away from mine.

“Need someone to teach ya?” He stares me dead in the eyes. I nod my head at him slowly.

“Words sweetheart, words.” He mumbles as he looks down at me. “Yes..”

“Yes what?” He asks teasingly “yes..please.” I swear a see a smirk under that mask.

“That’s better.” He mutters before slowly lowering his head and lifting his mask just enough to show his lips. He kisses along my neck sloppily, leaving hickeys all over the place.

I let out small whimpers, trying to stay quiet in case anyone decides to walk by here. His hands roam down to my waist and gives it a little squeeze before he’s picking me up and putting me back down on his desk.

He slowly reaches down to my pants, harshly pulling them down without any warning. His hands find the hem of my panties and he tugs on them before looking up to me, seemingly for permission. I nod at him eagerly as he drops the to the floor, letting them fall in some unknown corner.

I hear heavy breathing and the sound of his belt clanging as he moves to undo it. His pants drop along with his boxers.

I look down and damn.

He moves closer, holding onto my thighs with his large hands. He lines it up with my entrance and slowly starts to push in, giving me a few seconds to adjust.

I let out whimpers and moans at the feeling of him inside, which only seems to feed his ego and make him more eager.

He starts to move, his pace slow at first. “Fuck, so tight..” he mumbles into my neck as he thrusts faster. “Doing so good f’me”

His hips rocks into me, pounding harder until I can practically feel his tip in my stomach. I let out loud moans at the feeling.

“Gotta stay quiet sweetheart, yeah?” I bite down onto my lip, trying to keep any sounds inside. He moves relentlessly, practically feral.

“Gho..” my voice is hoarse as I speak.

“Hm?” He says breathlessly. “M’ so close..gonna cum..” I whine into his shoulder. “Fuck, fuck..gonna cum for me? For your lieutenant?” He grunts into my ear as I only nod at him eagerly.

He holds onto my thighs harshly as I feel the waves of my orgasm hit me, hard. My legs shake a little but he holds them down, as he cums right after me.

“Think ya can give me one more?” He says cockily before he starts pounding into me again. I let out whines as he only goes harder this time.

“S’too much..” I moan out “you can do it, you’re doing so good.” He encourages as his hands find my waist and he clamps down on it.

“Fuck, gonna leave marks all over your body.” He grumbles “everyone will know who you belong to then.”

I stay silent, too lost in the pleasure he’s giving me to respond. I feel myself once again reaching a high and my hands find his back, probably leaving marks all over.

“You close?” He asks and I nod eagerly. I open my mouth a little as the feeling in my stomach rises. “You wanna cum?” He asks “yes!” I practically shout. “say your mine then.” He says coldly.

“I’m..yours, please..” I pant out as his grip on my waist tightens “good girl, so good f’me.” He says as I come undone on his cock.

Heavy breathing fills the room as he holds onto me tightly. Letting me relax in his arms before pulling out.

“Tired?�� He ask softly and I nod against him. He picks me up and dresses me before leading me to my room and letting me fall asleep on his chest.

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#simon ghost riley #ghost cod #simon riley smut #simon riley x reader #task force 141 #call of duty #smut #john prine #ghost mw2 #ghost x reader #john mactavish #soap mw2 #kyle gaz garrick #kyle garrick #first person #mask

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