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mo0nfairy · 1 year

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ᥫ᭡ . # ۫ , ⸺ UNCHAINED MELODY, PART ONE !

summary :: surviving raccoon city together, you catch the affections of leon kennedy, ada wong, jill valentine, and carlos oliveira. six years later, you reunite with them and realize their obsession with you has increased tenfold.

chapters :: the masterlist.

word count :: 5.7k.

content warnings :: mdni!! yandere!leon, yandere!ada, yandere!jill, yandere!carlos, noncon touching, drugging, kidnapping, ptsd, violence, explosions, weapons, death, mild sexual themes, sexual harassment (done by some random npc), car crash, hospitals, reader breaks their arm.

──── Rain.

It's the first thing you are able to scrutinize once you come out of your state of comatose. You listen to the tumultuous melody as the droplets batter against the roof of the car. Even with your eyes locked tight, you are able to figure out where you are just by the rumble of the car engine, jostling you around when the tires hit a crevice in the road. A fuzzy, knitted blanket is adorned around your body. Your headphones are set on top of your head, a playlist of your favorite songs playing on a low volume. The sounds come out distorted, somehow, as if the lyrics were tripping over themselves and the tunes were awkwardly dancing with one another. It's almost as if you had been drugged.

The right side of your face is squished against something, which you now perceive as somebody's neck. The surface pushes your headphones uncomfortably into the side of your head. In a fruitless attempt to take them off, you realize you are paralyzed from head to toe. An arm is draped around your shoulder, the other firmly around your legs which are draped among their lap. Whomever this stranger is, they are quite brawny as they tighten their thick arms around you. They press gentle kisses to your forehead, the stubble of their beard tickling your skin. A deep voice whispers sugary affirmations against your temple, but you are unable to dissect them through the warped music and white noise. Have I been kidnapped? Who the fuck is this person?

With what little strength you have left in your body, you are able to peel your eyes open just a crack. You find yourself in the middle of the backseat (the safest spot in the car, which was certainly done on purpose). You find the arms draped around you are tan, adorned in heaps of black hair. Casting your gaze forward, you look to the driver. You see a woman with short, dirty-blonde hair whose slender fingers grasp hold of the steering wheel. The identity of these two people remains unknown to you. Looking at the windows, the rain cascading down the glass prevents you from pinpointing any potential landmarks. The only thing you can do is slump against this stranger and let yourself be driven far, far away.

You rewind into the past to collect any memories that would help decipher the current events. All you are able to garner is a crisp October evening, where you snuggled beneath a blanket in the safe expanse of your bedroom. You remember wrapping the blanket around your shoulders and strolling into the kitchen, where you would then make yourself a hot cup of tea. This was your normal night routine, you recall in defeat. The last memory you had would be of no use, considering the large gap in your mind once you drank the first sip of tea. So, you rewind even further to see if anything abnormal had occurred during the day.

You remember how you had spent your morning journaling in the garden, analyzing the faces of other patients and doctors wandering through your memory. Nothing stuck out, however, so you abandoned your reminiscing of this past morning. You then think back to group therapy at noon, where others would express their traumas from Raccoon City six years prior. You would tell your own story of the agony you endured and how you met several people who had protected you with their lives. Leon Kennedy, Ada Wong, Jill Valentine, and Carlos Oliveira — four names you would never forget.

Then, you would express the grief you felt when you were told none of them had survived the night. You had never felt so alone after. But, fortunately, you were then taken under the wing of this sanctuary built just for survivors. You have stayed in their habitation since.

The faces of those listening to your story were people you have seen every day; none of their features matched the physicality of the people in this car. With that, you fast forward further into the afternoon to find anything that sticks out. The heightened security that seemed to be reserved for you made you furrow your brow. However, it was nothing explicit enough to explain your current circumstances. Several guards stood outside your room as you lost yourself in the book you checked out from the sanctuary's library. The headphones you wore blared your favorite music and tuned out any and all outside noise. Even the hushed noises straight from your kitchen.

The hours of the afternoon faded away while you read through your book. It wasn't until a friend had come to your door to remind you of your plans to go stargazing did you realize the sun had begun to set. As they left, you decided to brew yourself some tea before you would join the others outside. You remember sitting at your frail kitchen table, blanket adorning your shoulders like a cape as you watched the tea kettle on the stove. Silence pervades and you can't help letting your mind wander. It has been six full years since the incident in Raccoon City. Still, your brain always seems to saunter back to the memories of that night.

You think of Leon Kennedy that night. You remember those pale blue eyes, freckled innocence, puppy-soft hair; you remember how he had saved your life that night in Raccoon City. Working at the Mizoil Gas Station, sitting right on the outskirts of the city, you're bound to face your fair share of weird regulars. And Leon Kennedy, by far, was the weirdest. A week before the night that sent your life into a tornado, you had met the new rookie who just arrived in town. And for seven days, you would always spot that familiar green jeep outside your workplace. His relentless appearances made you worry he had a hole in his gas tank or something. However, his visits weren't to grab gas or a quick snack for the road, it was to awkwardly lean against the counter and pathetically try to win your heart.

"Oh, hey Y/N! Funny running into you here..." The twelve visits a day spoil his attempts at being suave. "Yeah. I work here, Leon." His name sounds like nectar on your tongue, to a point where he is on the verge of outright begging you to say it. Even once more.

You then think of how during your closing shift, a coworker had become something ghastly, something monstrous. It all just happened so fast. You think of how you shielded yourself in your cramped work locker, limbs jutting out against the uncomfortable metal walls. To this day, you can still feel the suffocating tightness in your chest from holding back your sobs. All while you helplessly listened to the horrific sounds of your coworkers and customers being torn apart. You're entirely shaken with trauma, but with your brain in survival mode, you know this was no time to rest. Who knows how many more of those things will arrive? Now was your only shot at escaping this hellhole. So, you begrudgingly peel open the locker door and carefully inspect your surroundings. You grab a six-pack of beer on the desk beside you and take one of the bottles out. It was your only available weapon against your zombified coworkers, after all.

Blood paints your sneakers red and cheap beer stains your uniform as you fight your way out of the station. The sight of the entrance feels like a light at the end of the tunnel. Your lungs tighten with exhaustion as you continue to run towards it. That is until a firm grasp on your wrist halts your intentions. Swinging the bottle towards the assailant, they block it with ease and disarm you. It wasn't until a stuttering, concerned voice gasps your name do you realize that you almost just stabbed Leon Kennedy in the face. But God, you never thought you would be so happy for the persistent neediness of this cop.

You don't even know what had overcome you, but the sight of something human fills you with so much relief, you engulf the man into a hug. It lasted a mere second, but it was more than enough to get Leon's heart thumping in his chest. Even in the face of death, a smile tugs at his lips with any crumb of affection he can extrapolate from you. Muttering an apology to him, Leon disregards it entirely and stares at you with that dumb, love-struck expression. Your drop-dead gorgeous self; your witty comebacks that have his ribs tough with laughter… You, of all people, initiated affection with him, you actually wanted to touch him!

The roar of something inhuman cuts Leon off, to where he then bends down and scoops you into his arms. Without a second to resist, Leon (who is far too elated for comfort) sprints through the door with you and books it to his jeep. You're too busy staring at the store in trepidation to stop Leon from opening the car door for you, placing you in the passenger seat, and fastening your seatbelt for you. Almost as if you were a child, incapable of using your own hands.

The car ride to the Raccoon Police Department is quiet. Other than a few hushed reassurances of comfort from Leon, a heavy silence sits between the two of you. It's so bewildering that the people you had spent every day with are all dead. Not even dead, but zombie-fied creatures groaning to tear your flesh asunder. Your brain drifts to one coworker, in particular. One who was a master at getting under your skin. Manipulating your time alone to ask you out to dinner for the umpteenth time while tracing his hands over your skin. You never agreed, but with every attempt to bring this problem to your manager, it was always swept under the rug. And at last, you would have to endure the eerie smile and roaming hands of this middle-aged creep.

But now, things are different. You think about how he is now dead and can never touch you again; you think of how sickeningly good it felt to drive the rear end of a half-shattered bottle into his skull. Looking at your hands, you find your palms caked with his blood. Leon takes notice of this, taking one hand off the wheel and using it to grasp your hand into his. Electricity tickles through him from the contact. "You didn't have a choice" he assures in that soft tone reserved for you, but he is wrong. You did have a choice, and in the end, you wanted to hurt him.

"I wanted to. I wanted to kill him." Your gaze is locked on your red hands as you confess; Leon's gaze is fixated on you. "I just couldn't put up with him anymore. I finally got to fucking get back at him for once, to take advantage of him while he was weak." You don't even notice the tears streaming down your emotionally-drained expression.

You especially don't notice the sheer affect your words have on Leon. Tense jaw, flared nostrils, chest rising up and down with short breaths. What the fuck did he do to you? What had he done to push you, the angel of Leon's life, to such violent measures? He imagines his disgusting hands, dirtying your heavenly form; he imagines your face scrunched up with dismay, tears brimming in your eyes. And it absolutely destroys him. His heavy stare remains locked on you, entirely oblivious to any outside sources. No zombies, no eight-foot-tall tyrants — all that mattered was the audacity this dead man had to put his hands on you. And god, it makes him red with rage.

"Leon- LEON-!!" You shout out to warn him before the jeep then collides into a car wreck. It is pure mayhem as you shield your head with your hands and prepare for your demise. Leon’s arm stretches out over you in a desperate attempt to protect you. How ironic that in the face of a zombie apocalypse, you would die because of someone's poor driving skills.

You reluctantly open your eyes; you're alive. With your ears ringing out and your vision fuzzy, you manage to wrestle your way out of the jeep that had been flipped upside down. A grunt escapes from your chest as you make contact with the pavement. Something wet trickles down your head and from your nose, which doesn't take much for you to perceive as blood. You are so disoriented, you entirely forget about the man who was driving you just moments before. So disoriented, in fact, you don't hear the weak whimpers of your name from Leon as he watches you stumble further and further and further away from him.

You think of Ada Wong that night. You remember the click of her heels, her expensive perfume, her manicured nails; you remember how she had saved your life that night in Raccoon City. Somehow in your bewildered state, you had found yourself in one of the holding cells of RPD. You had collapsed against a metal bench, catching sight of a blood-stained first aid kit just within reach. You then tend to your wounds with feeble efforts. Soon, your senses clear, to where horrifying screams of agony echo through the large expanse. An unseen force rattles the room, and chunks of wall soar through the air from the cell beside you. There's a pop! before a deafening silence settles in the room.

All that is left in the air is your rapid breathing, waiting for your inescapable demise to embrace you. But, there is simply nothing to greet you but you and your thoughts. The gentle tap of quiet footsteps fills the permeating quiet. A woman then enters your train of vision, dressed in a trench coat, sunglasses, and stiletto heels. She stops in her tracks upon seeing you, seemingly inspecting you from behind her eyewear. With a tilt of her head, the woman steps through the threshold of your cell, where you then bundle yourself in the corner of the room. And you are just so adorable how you cave into yourself, almost like a bunny. So frail and terrified; too damn cute.

The way she walks to you is as if she were on a catwalk. Your trauma-ridden body trembles in fear with every step she takes closer. When she is just within reach, you act on instinct and push her away from you, racing past her and out of the cell. She barely stumbles from your attempt at an attack, an amused chuckle vibrating from her chest. You get a good several steps away before you finally discover what had made such a booming noise before. A man lies dead on the ground in the locked cell beside yours with a punctured hole in the wall. His dry mouth is hung agape and his body sits lifeless. Both eyes have been popped out of their sockets, blood seeping down his face and to the ground below. The woman follows you in your footsteps as you stare in horror. She merely tuts at the sight, a sigh of disappointment filling the empty air. How in the world is she not as terrified as you are?

"Come with me." Her voice is feminine, oozing with sultry confidence. It's soothing to listen to.

"Why?" Meanwhile, your voice is nothing like hers. Your speech comes out shaky and quiet, adorned in the fear this woman was apparently immune to.

"Well, you wouldn't want to end up like Ben, would you?" Your silence serves as your unspoken agreement. "Come now." In addition to her poised nature, her voice is also flat with demanding dominance. You find yourself blindly following her as she struts away.

Accompanying this woman as she walks through the police department as if she were the headline of a fashion show, you soon make it to the grimy streets of the city. During that time, she had introduced herself to you as Ada Wong, a spy working to retrieve the G-Virus. Why is she telling you the whole truth about herself, she doesn't know. Why did she make you follow her when she knows she works better alone, she doesn't know, either. There's just something about the way you cower into her when a zombie growls and the way your eyes glimmer with gratitude when she annihilates the monsters in your path. It makes her feel worthy, for something other than violence or money. As if she were the big, bad wolf who had fallen for the helpless bunny rabbit.

Now standing at the end of the street before the sewer entrance, you stare below in apprehension for what you have now learned lies within. This whole time, all the secrets Umbrella have were hidden right beneath your nose. Or better yet, right beneath your feet. A tank truck lies on its side several feet away from you and behind it, a trail of fire travels closer and closer. The flames and oil mending together then causes an explosion to erupt. Before you even had a chance to process anything, you're in the air, where you land in a patch of grass with a loud crack. Permeating pain courses through your right arm. From the time you had broken your wrist in 5th grade from attempting to climb a tree, you can tell your arm has suffered the same fate.

A leather-gloved hand then places itself onto your cheek. You look to see Ada, now with no glasses, tousled hair, and her coat discolored from grass stains. A dandelion had managed to wrangle itself with one of the dark-colored strands on her head. Playfully, you pluck the dandelion from her hair and gift it to her. Then, you make some joking remark about how it's a "thanks for the save earlier" with a weak chuckle. Your hand touches hers and something flutters within Ada's stomach — something grand, something scary. Something... warm. It stuns her into silence and catches her entirely off guard.

Her gaze shifts to your lips. Despite how chapped and dry they are, your bottom lip seeping with blood after the tough fall, they couldn't look any more appetizing to Ada. The mere idea of pressing her lips to yours causes her to relentlessly fall further and further into this unfamiliar, twitter-pated oblivion. You are just so benevolent, softhearted, and so, so bright. Ada's head is so fogged up with all sorts of devoted insanity, she doesn't take notice of the mass of zombies treading closer. While Ada is crouching beside you, she is then tackled to the ground. A pandemonium of zombies roaring ensues, and you're attacked by the undead, as well. With a hard kick to the skull of your assailant, you're able to wrangle yourself out of their grip on your leg. You stand to your feet and search for Ada to no avail, the heaps of zombies restraining you from any clarity.

With that, you turn tail and slam open the doors of the closest shelter you could find: Gun Shop Kendo.

You think of Jill Valentine that night. You remember her calloused hands, her rough-edged attitude, her scent of gunpowder; you remember how she had saved your life that night in Raccoon City. When you enter the gun shop, you're met with a man and a woman, both disheveled with dirt and blood. They point their guns at you upon your rushed entrance and in response, you raise your hands to surrender. The pummeling on the doors then has you all racing to barricade the entrance, using abandoned shelves and boxes as impromptu defenses. With heavy panting and a hefty barrier, the three of you stand, exasperated, trying to catch your breath. You sink to the floor and hold your arm, flashes of agony pumping through the broken limb.

Despite the danger just outside and your arm overcome with pain, this is the best you'll get in your current state. Shelter and weapons. You'll just have to endure how the shop owner shoved the barrel of his gun in your face and how the cop beside him sees you as gum beneath her shoe. Jill treats you like she does everyone else: ice-cold and blunt. She doesn't say a word to you; she barely acknowledges your presence. For that, you assume she hates your guts. Considering the circumstances, however, you don't take it to heart. Instead, you thank the two for allowing you to stay in the shop while the storm of zombies outside dies down.

However, things are quite different on Jill's end. The simple way you exist — it stuns her. Throughout her entire life, this dull ache has resided in her chest. She feels nothing. She would try and garner any feeling whatsoever; she'd do something adrenaline-inducing to feel fear, she'd do something ignorant to feel guilt. She would do everything to fill this hollow void within her. But, her incessant efforts were all brought to no avail.

That is until you came along.

Even though you're just some helpless civilian with no other desires than temporary protection, something foreign pervades her brain. Jill has come to realize you are far more than just the pretty face on the surface (although the idea of others witnessing your beauty causes her stomach to churn). She then tends to your broken arm, acting as if her heart wasn't running a mile a minute from the close contact. Meanwhile, lust-driven fantasies that would make even a harlot blush muddle her brain. To have you beneath her, staring up at her like that. You can't expect her to not swoon at the mere thought of how you'd taste, how you'd sound, how you'd tremble from her touch. Her mouth waters at the mental image alone.

Without thinking, Jill leans in to kiss you, fully ready to take you here on the floor of this filthy gun shop. The cock of Kendo's gun brings her out of her haze. You, on the other hand, assume this woman views you as nothing but a burden despite the clear display of infatuation in front of you. She informs you with a flat tone how survivors would be taken to the subway station, where they would then be transported out of the city. You thank her again for her hospitality, but mostly out of culpability. With your arm now covered with swiftly-made bandages, you reach with the other for an abandoned gun. Now that you've accepted the assumption this woman doesn't want a thing to do with you, the only way you'll get out of Raccoon City is by yourself. However, she blocks your attempt with a gentle grasp of your wrist.

"No need." Her voice is rough, but beneath the facade, it is timid and fearful.

"Why not?"

"You have me. I won't let anything happen to you." You stare at her, completely flabbergasted at the sudden alter in attitude.

The journey to the subway station was a breeze, to say the least. With your new bodyguard there to obliterate any danger in your path, it was practically a stroll in the park. She tells you her name and you tell her yours. Y/N Valentine has kind of a ring to it, Jill thinks. But with only just a few blocks to cross, something large, something beastly, something entirely inhuman stops you in your tracks. Incredibly massive with its large teeth protruding from its mouth, it groans a deep "S.T.A.R.S" before it begins to stomp towards you. Terror submerges your senses and immobilizes you. A red laser points from the rocket launcher in its hands, the dot sitting right by your feet. Jill then grabs hold of your hand and tries to run off with you, but her futile attempts were too late. A rocket then strikes the pavement and its force sends the two of you into the air. Your bandaged arm lands first against the unforgiving ground, anguish permeating your entire body.

You think of Carlos Oliveira that night. You remember his gruff voice, his kind heart, his dirt-caked skin; you remember how he had saved your life that night in Raccoon City. The pain in your arm is so blinding, there is nothing else you can think about. Not Jill, not Ada, not Leon, not the myriad of monstrous creatures on your tail. The only thing that exists right now is the torturous misery coursing through you. You're writhing on the cold pavement as you cling to your arm, cries of distress and exhaustion trembling from your chest. God, when will this nightmare fucking end?

The gut-wrenching entrance you're in is broken when you feel a hand on your shoulder. You expect to find Jill and her stone-cold, yet concerned expression, only to turn over your shoulder and see a complete stranger. He has a head full of messy, dark hair, with loose strands shielding his face; a strong body, with his military vest filled with heavy weaponry. His expression, however, was the most memorable. God, he looks at you as if you've hung the moon. His appearance is unkempt and dirty, but still overwhelmed with cheesy rom-com levels of infatuation. Why is this stranger looking at you as if you were walking down the aisle on your wedding day? You don't know. Besides, there are far more important matters to concern yourself with.

The heavy slam of Jill's boots reverberates as she sprints over to you. She helps you to your feet, not without a quick glare at the man beside you that reads "don't you fucking touch them." Jill puts your intact arm around her and leads you into Moon's Donuts, all while the deafening sounds of gunfire and grisly roars echo from behind. You don't dare turn around; you couldn't bear to look at that abomination once more. The quiet hum of heavy rock welcomes you as you enter the deserted donut shop. You practically collapse into one of the booths, Jill following behind and sitting across from you. With an exhale of relief, you relax into the seat and hold your arm in an attempt for temporary comfort. The man from before enters shortly, as well, then barricades the entrance with ease.

Your bandages are now torn and peeling. In an effort to fix it yourself, that same agonizing pain satiates through your arm instead. You hiss in response, alerting the two others. The man leans down before you, introducing himself as Carlos Oliveira, then eagerly asking you to inform him of your name. You oblige and he visibly shivers when your skin makes contact with his, an expressed concoction of nerves and irrepressible obsession. Upon gingerly grasping hold of your arm, he uses medical equipment from the various pockets around his chest and tends to you. His touch is careful, delicate — as if you would drift away if he applied any pressure. With every whimper and groan of pain from you, shocks are sent straight to his heart. Carlos had just met you moments ago yet still, he can't fathom the idea of you in pain. He assumes it's merely empathy, but when he feels tears brim in his eyes at the sight of you suffering, he knows this isn't normal.

With Jill's hand on your shoulder, consoling you through the pain, Carlos finishes swiftly before reluctantly breaking physical contact with you. He then gives you his canteen bottle, allowing you some water after your exhausting efforts to survive. You down the water like you've been parched for years. In the process, you are entirely oblivious to the heavy breathing from Carlos, who is left stunned at the prospect of an indirect kiss. Your lips against his — he feels his cheeks heat up from the idea alone. He doesn't realize how totally deranged he looks in his lovesick hysteria before the sharp snap of Jill's fingers brings him back to reality. Her possessive stare, her physical affection with you. Carlos feels his world crumble at the revelation that falls: you belong to Jill. The partner of his dreams is sitting right in front of him, but at the same time, is entirely out of reach. And it shatters him.

With that being said, Carlos isn't always the most articulate with his attempts at garnering information, hence why he stuck to the guns. So, as Jill and Carlos guard you like feral dogs with a bone while you travel back to the subway, he lets his facade slip.

"So... Are you two-like... Are you guys-um? Like, together?" Smooth as silk, Carlos. Smooth as silk.

Jill rolls her eyes in response. Mostly due to how annoying she thought him to be, but especially due to the fact that you aren't actually hers. Meanwhile, you tilt your head in confusion like a lost puppy (and you miss the way they visibly melt from the sight). After another fit of relentless stammering from Carlos, Jill finally clears the air.

"No, we're not dating." It hurts her to say it, evident in the way she clenches her jaw in an attempt to suppress her protruding emotions. Meanwhile, Carlos is sent to cloud nine.

Despite the blood, death, and gore he had witnessed in a single night, he had never felt so elated in all his years alive. Jill scoffs at his thinly-veiled euphoria, before grasping your hand and treading forward. Through trial and error (and more zombies than you could count), the three of you finally make it back to the subway station. You could cry, it's almost over. However, you can't help but notice how Jill and Carlos are perceptibly devastated by the idea of letting you go.

You hug Jill. It was nothing intimate, merely a thanks for the help she had provided you. Still, her body goes rigid and her heart flourishes with every kind of emotion she has never felt before. Through all the revelations that have taken place in this hellhole of a night, none of it compared to the earth-shattering emotions you have given her. Fear, lust, jealousy, devotion — it's all so overwhelming and she loves it.

You hug Carlos next. Again, nothing intimate or ulterior about the act of affection. But just like Jill, his heart practically detonates from the close contact. If only you could see his love-struck face; his expression is practically straight out of a cartoon. Cupid's bow through his chest, bluebirds swarming around his head and all. When the friendly hug soon started to turn into a romantic embrace, you push yourself off of Carlos, excusing his actions as nothing short of post-traumatic nerves.

With that, you join the other civilians on the train. The subway doors close behind you as you look at the survivors around you. All of them are riddled with trauma, shaken and silently weeping from the sights they have witnessed. Despite the harrowing circumstances, you're alive. That is all that matters and you could not be more grateful. Sitting on an empty seat, an exhale of relief escapes your chest. The train whirs as it begins to move. You turn your shoulder and look through the filth-stained windows to find Jill and Carlos, eyes blown wide with emotion as they watch you leave them. They stand in the same place you had left them, gazing wistfully at the love of their life. Picking up speed, you are soon out of their sight and they are now without the one they love most. And the sheer affect it has on them is gut-wrenching.

Fortunately for you, the ride out of the city is plain sailing. And with no S.T.A.R.S. members on the train, there is no 8-foot-tall creature there to set everything ablaze. You have now become one of the very few people who can say they made it out of Raccoon City alive.

You think of Raccoon City the morning after and the consequences that came from surviving. You think about what Carlos had said to you in the midst of danger. "I'm not gonna die on you and leave you in a cold, cruel, Carlos-less world." Liar.

Upon escaping the city safely, you and the other survivors were sent to a local hospital. From thereon, you would spend the next several days there (and finally receive proper treatment for your broken arm). After several days of anxiously anticipating the well-being of your friends and the entirety of Raccoon City, a doctor you had never seen before enters your room in the dead of night. Introducing himself as Dr. Matt Gorkis, he then reveals the news of the missile strike sent to the city and how there were no other survivors. A wave of devastation and helplessness washes over you. Weeping softly, the doctor bluntly provides details of the matter.

He then informs you of a sanctuary being built just for survivors of the incident. There will be provided shelter, basic necessities, and all sorts of therapeutic activities that will help you during your healing journey. And with your job, your home, and all of your friends eradicated to dust, you know you have no other choice. With another month of being tested for infections and going through physical therapy, you are released from the hospital and sent away with the doctor. For the past six years, this sanctuary is what you have learned to call home.

The hissing of the tea kettle makes you jump, bringing an abrupt halt to your road trip down memory lane. And while you pour yourself a cup of tea, you realize that your memories will be of no use for your current circumstances. For now, you'll have to let yourself be lulled to sleep in the back of this stranger's vehicle, driven far away to god-knows-where. But, the embrace the person has on you is so warm, so inviting. Your body can’t help but succumb to the relaxation this stranger provides.

You just hope that when you wake up, whatever welcomes you isn't anything reminiscent of the nightmare you faced six years ago.

⁺ 🎧 , 🪷 ۫ you are currently listening to . . . ⁺ 🪺 , 🎵 ꪆ

❝ MY LOVE, MY DARLING

I'VE HUNGERED FOR YOUR TOUCH . . . ❞

not a single person had asked for this, but it has been all my brain has been able to think about. i hope u all can appreciate some breadcrumbs from the ramblings of my heart hehe.

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thefallennightmare · 6 months

Text

Just Pretend-eleven

Parings: Noah Sebastian x Musician! Reader

Warnings/Tropes: language, angst, fluff, smut, star-crossed lovers, right person/wrong time, cheating, talks of mental abuse.

Summary: “I can wait for years, heaven knows I’m not getting over you.” A story about two star-crossed lovers, that always find their way back because their souls are entwined. The universe desperately attempts to bring them together, no matter what the cost.

Authors Note: for this one, no theories or what ifs. it's all from our owns personal experience which makes it cathartic for us and maybe some of you. MUST LISTEN TO EILEY BY TOO CLOSE TO TOUCH! DURING THIS ENTIRE CHAPTER, OVER AND OVER AGAIN. HEADS UP: there will be talks of suicidal thoughts throughout this chapter so please please please, read with caution.

Collaborating With: @thescarlettvvitch(better give her all the love as well)

Tags: @thescarlettvvitch @ozwriterchick @waake-meee-up @notingridslurkaccount @niicoleleigh @sammyjoeee @xxrainstorm @dominuslunae @notmaddihealy @malice-ov-mercy @crimson-calligraphyx @iknownothingpeople @writethrough @thebadchic @blackveilomens Claudia on Tumblr @tobe-written @blacksoul-27 @loeytuan98 @loverofagoodbeard @comfortcharactercraze @lma1986 @plutonikchaos1 @spicywhenspeaking @lyschko666 @somewhere-diamond @hi-fancy-seeing-you-here @koskeepsake

READER

My feet took me almost in autopilot mode to the end of the hallway where the door urged me forward while my heart kept screaming at me to turn around; go back. The tears that gathered in my eyes were blinding me and I could barley see as I pushed through the door, quickly ascending the staircase. So many questions filled my brain and nearly knocked me on my ass, I had to grasp at the railing. I gasped for breath, my lungs being crushed by the weight of leaving him. His broken eyes begging me to come back, not to leave. But my own issues kept me from following my heart.

Why did I leave? Why did I fucking leave? Why couldn’t I just talk? Why did I leave him like that?

Those usually bright eyes filled with so much darkness and sadness, it made me stumble over my feet as I neared the door that led out to the roof of the hotel. The wind brushed around me in rapid waves as I came to a sudden halt in the middle of the roof. Even though it was four in the morning, the hustle and bustle of the city noise carried all the way up here.

Why was I so worried about a future I wasn’t even sure I was going to have?

My mind was clouded with images of Noah and how I left him I didn’t realize I was standing at the edge of the roof until my foot slipped. I cursed while steading myself on my feet and stared down at the passing cars. If I was being honest, I wish I didn’t save myself from falling.

As I stood at the ledge, memories of Noah and I played in a loop in my brain as the weight on my chest caved in. Two hearts that beat in sync but they could never be.

When he first stepped off the bus, taking all the breath out of my lungs.

The day at the zoo where he bought me the stuffed wolf; the one Trey tossed out of the bus in his rage.

Our afternoon at the beach where we had a heart to heart conversation, one of many, and it made me realize Noah was someone I could trust. He made me feel so free and alive that day; like the crow.

When he analyzed my lyrics that first night of tour in the green room and how passionate he looked.

A choked sob crawled out of my throat when the memory of the night we lost Keaton slammed into me. Then his funeral and how broken Noah was that entire day. I thought I lost him into the darkness that was grief but no, quite the opposite happened. My lips tingled as I remebered our first kiss, the one we shared that night.

I should have known how fucked I would be for Noah Sebastian from that moment.

“Fuck!” I screamed while falling to my knees, sobs plowing through my entire body.

My chest finally caved in, bones crushing into dust, as that negative voice that buried itself so deep within years ago continued to chastise me for my decision.

You’re a fucking idiot.

How could you leave him like that?

He begged you to come back. He wanted you to stay until the morning.

Did you expect him to be okay with never having a family?

What man doesn’t want a future like that?

I told you he wouldn’t want to stick by all that bullshit.

“Stop it!” I smacked my palms onto my forehead repeatedly to quiet the voices.

It didn’t work; they only got louder and more persistent.

I tried to tell you, babe. Being with him only leads to heartbreak.

“Just get out! Get out of my head! I beg, please, just get out! Get out of my head before I cave in!” I screamed, now digging my palms into my eyes.

I was absolutely exhausted and unbelievably unhappy. I hated myself and was so angry for what I did. Noah and I were so happy and to see him smile that grin, the corners of his eyes crinkling made my heart burn in my throat. The tattoos that covered his toned stomach with slight pudge in the center. Soft skin and a comfortable smell I wanted to be buried in.

A mochi. My mochi.

No, not yours. You walked away.

I ruined it. I possibly, could have, most definitely destroyed the best thing that could have happened to me, besides this band. My hands shook, my body, my knees were weak. I should have stopped by my hotel room to bring some alcohol with me on this venture up here but knew if Chase or Malcolm saw me, they’d want to know what happened.

Shit.

Everyone had to know by now what happened, I’m sure they do.

Oh god, what did I do? To hurt Noah was like walking on broken glass. I never wanted to hurt him.

But you did, you bitch, you did!

“Oh Keaton,” I sobbed on my knees. “I ruined everything. You knew him better than me, what would he have done if I told him the truth and stayed!?”

Besides Chase and Malcolm, Keaton knew about my secrets only because he was there when the pain was unbearable. He helped me through it. So now, in this desperate time of need and confusion, I called out to the one person who couldn’t give me an answer.

CHASE

“Fuck, what do you think happened?” Malcolm wondered while tossing on a sweater.

I quickly stepped into a pair of sweatpants then ran a hand over my buzzed head. “I don’t know. But whatever it was, fucked both of them up.”

His hands shook as he tried to type something out on his phone and knowing Malcolm better than anyone, I knew he was seconds away from his own panic attack.

“Steven,” he wiggled his phone. “He’s wondering if there’s anything they can do to help find her?”

“No,” I said a little too quickly. “Tell them to take care of Noah; we’ll take care of Y/N.”

She was our responsibility; we made that promise to her father years ago when he came to visit. He couldn’t watch after her so he entrusted us to. We failed with Trey; we let him burry his claws so deep into her and now we’re afraid that whatever happened with Noah we wouldn’t be able to get her back.

Malcolm realized that too because his hands shook and breathing became uneven.

“Hey,” I said softly while covering his hands with my own. “We’ll find her, we always do.”

“I know,” he swallowed. “I’m just-worried. She told me earlier that she was going by Noah’s room to hang out. I didn’t think-.”

I cupped his cheek and pressed a tender kiss to his lips. “Why don’t you stay here in case, she comes back. I think I know where she might be.”

Malcolm eased into my touch, emerald eyes glowing from the moonlight casting in through the window, and if it was any other moment, I’d tell him I love him.

He knew already, but I still liked to remind him.

“I love you,” he breathed a long deep breath.

With a final kiss, I muttered I loved him back against his lips, before pocketing my phone and slipping out of the room. I didn’t bother checking throughout the hotel for her. There’s only one place she’d be.

The roof.

Y/N’s always had this fascination with behind higher than others. She wanted to feel like one of the Gods on Mount Olympus. But I didn’t doubt right now, she felt smaller than a peasant in past Athens.

The door to the roof was open, cold winds blowing down the fire escape stairs as I reached the top, eyes immediately landing on a figure curled up with their knees to their chest, sobs being drowned out by the noise from down below in the streets.

Panic set deep within my stomach as I neared her. “Y/N?”

At first my voice was quiet, so I said her name again, this time deeper; louder as I kneeled in front of her. “Y/N!”

Her eyes struggled to open due to how swollen they were from her crying, mascara running down her cheeks and staining her face.

“Sweets,” I sighed with slumped shoulders.

“Chase?” My name came out raw, a clear sign that her voice had gone horse; from what, I wasn’t sure.

“What are you doing up here?” I questioned while taking off my sweater and wrapping it around her shoulders.

She was only wearing shorts and a t-shirt. Her lips were blue from the cold of the predawn air and she shivered as I rubbed my hands up and down her arms.

“Oh, gods. What did we do?” Y/N cried while falling into my chest.

For a moment, I didn’t move her although I knew I needed to get her inside to warm up, but I decided another minute wouldn’t hurt. She needed that extra minute to let out all of her pent-up feelings and doubt. Something happened in that room between her and Noah tonight and I didn’t care how long it took, she would tell us what happened.

I hushed her cries with a soothing hand to her back, cradling her, until the cries lessened and her body went limp against me; she must have dozed off again. So lifting her into my arms, I carried her back down the stairs towards our floor and as I turned the corner, our room only two doors down, I stopped mid-step when my eyes landed on Steven and Matt.

Anger filled me for the briefest of moments but I tried to let it go. None of knew what happened so it wouldn’t be right for me to get upset with either of them. They weren’t in the room with Noah and Y/N.

“She okay?” Matt asked.

I nodded. “Found her up on the roof. She’s fucking freezing and I don’t know how long she was up there for.”

Steven sighed while running a hand over his tired face. “I’m glad she’s alright; given the circumstances. We’ll let the others know.”

Not bothering to say anything else, I stepped between the two of them so they could get a good look at how broken Y/N was; blue lips, puffy eyes, and face stained with makeup and tears. Noah wasn’t the only one hurting, she was too.

When I knocked on the hotel room door, I could physically see the relief fall away from Malcolm’s shoulders as he opened the door, letting me step inside.

“Get the blankets,” I motioned towards the bed.

He pulled them away so I could lay Y/N gently into the bed, both of us covering her with the mounds of blankets; and a few from the closet. As I stepped away to let her sleep, cold fingers wrapped tightly around my wrist.

“Chase.”

My name came out broken on her chattering lips and I laid a gentle hand on her face. “Get some rest, sweets. We can talk in the morning.”

She shook her head. “No, I n-nee-need-.”

Malcolm sat on the edge of the bed next to her while I stood behind him. “What do you need?”

“No-Noah,” Y/N forced out through the chills her body continued to attack her with.

“Y/N,” I sighed. “He’s not in a good place right now.”

Her eyes glimmered with tears before they fell from her eyes in groves. “It’s all my fault.”

Malcolm tensed under my touch on his shoulder. “What happened?”

Y/N remained silent as she stared up at the ceiling for a few long beats then she turned over in bed so she could face towards us, clutching the pillow closer to her chest.

Now I kneeled down in front of her so I could look directly into her eyes. “You need to tell us what happened.”

Malcolm wiped away her tears as she let out an unsteady breath. “I asked him a stupid fucking question.”

“What did you ask Noah?”

There was a slight hesitation in her words. “Where he wanted to be in 10 years.”

Malcolm and I shared a look with each other, not sure how that simple question could cause this much damage between them. Y/N could read us like a book, from start to end, so she immediately knew what we were thinking.

“Noah said one day, he wants a family, a dog and cats and a little wooden house,” she explained flatly.

Then it all clicked into place, the puzzle of the night with that simple word; family.

That subject always had been a sore subject with Y/N so we never brought it up. We knew how hard she had to work for things, especially that, so it was understandable why she freaked out the way she did.

“Sweets, it’s alright,” I cooed while brushing the hair away from her face. “He didn’t know.”

Malcolm agreed with a nod while rubbing her back. “I’m sure if you talk to him about it, Noah will understand.”

Suddenly, she was pushing away from us and stumbling out of the bed, both of us watching her pace with worry in our eyes.

“You guys don’t understand the pain. You don’t know how he looked!” Y/N pounded her chest. “It’s like a huge hole has been punched through my chest. This pain is the reminder, he is real.”

“Y/N,” I cautioned while rising to my feet and slowly walked over to her. “Everything will be alright.”

She jerked her hand away from me. “No, it won't! I did what I always do, Chase! I panicked and ran away. I so badly wanted to stay. Fuck, you guys should have seen his face when he asked me to stay- the crinkles, the cheeks, so sweet I just- I can’t believe I did this. I’m so damaged, guys, so damaged.”

I stood there frozen, unsure how to console Y/N because we’d never seen her like this; so broken. Tears fell from her eyes as her chest caved in with each deep, stuttering breath. As Malcolm pulled her into his arms, I took out my phone and typed out a message to Nicholas.

I know what happened.

MALCOLM

“Are you sure you two will be alright?” I asked while adjusting the bag on my shoulder.

Chase nodded while wrapping a protective arm around Y/N’s shoulder; she hasn’t slept since he brought her back into the room just a few hours ago. She was running on fumes, we all were, but I knew the long day she had ahead of her. She needed every ounce of energy she could find.

“We’re mostly going to pick up Salem,” Chase said.

Fuck, the cat.

I cringed at the mention of Y/N’s cat; soul as dark as its fur.

“I swear that cat fucking hates me,” I grumbled while leaning closer into Chase.

He chuckled while leaning up to kiss me, since I was a few inches taller than him. “I would say thats not true but we all know it is.”

Y/N let out a soft chuckle. “I’ll do my best to make sure he stays out of your guys’ room.”

I had to admit; it was really good to hear her laugh, even if it was a quiet one.

“You sure you don’t want me to come with you?” I asked.

Her face flinched with my words but she quickly recovered. “Yeah, we’ll be fine.”

“Last call for flight 3E for Los Angeles. Now boarding.”

The three of us glanced over towards the group of people that were sitting in the same lounge we were. Nicholas was sitting next to Noah, who refused to lift his gaze from the chip nail polish on his fingers. Jolly was talking with Folio and when he felt us staring, Nicholas gave a curt nod to Chase.

Without Y/N noticing, he pulled out his phone to send a text to Nicholas. After we told him we knew what happened, we promised we would tell him everything; about Y/N, her condition, and why she left.

“Do you?” I asked Y/N, nodding towards Bad Omens.

She shook her head, not daring to look any of them in the eye. “I can’t.”

“Okay,” I smiled weakly. “Call me when you guys land, I want to make sure everything goes smoothly.”

Chase and I shared a kiss before I pulled Y/N into my chest, her arms wrapping around me.

“Thank you,” she muttered into my shirt.

It was hard for me to show affection but for her; I found it easier.

I placed a kiss on top of her head. “Anytime, buttercup.”

With a final wave towards the two people that mean everything to me, I turned my back and fell into line with the large group of others that were flying back to Los Angeles. I stood a few spaces behind Noah, who could barley lift his head up, the weight of what happened last night pressing down on his shoulders. Guilt ate away at my insides knowing that I could fix it but it wasn’t my place too. The part of me that needed to fix the bad with something good was overpowering. Any time something got too tense or awkward, I was always there to smooth it over with my humor; but this wasn’t one of those times.

“Hey.”

Turning on my heels, I gave a small smile towards Jolly. “What’s up, man?”

“You’re not going to Vegas?”

We both took a step forward as the line moved slowly. “No, I’m heading back to LA to get our new place set up.”

“Right,” Jolly nodded. “You’re only a few miles from us now.”

“Yea.”

Silence fell between us and I shifted on my feet, my anxiety about this whole situation suddenly becoming too overbearing. I felt as if my lungs were being crushed from the inside out. Knowing that someone I loved was hurting because of a choice they made killed me. I wanted to fix things. I needed to fix this. It’s what I’d done all my life as the middle child. I was there to fix my younger brothers smile when our dad hit him a little too hard. I was there to fix my mom when my dad took his anger out on her instead. I hated not being able to fix the division that stood between Noah and Y/N.

Breathe, Chase’s voice cooed in my mind. Deep breath in, long breath out.

“They’ll be alright,” Jolly’s voice broke me out of my inducing panic.

We watched Noah’s head lift finally from the ground as the flight for Las Vegas was called. His eyes danced around the room, searching for someone, but it was too late. Y/N and Chase had made it to the other end of the airport, their flight leaving minutes after ours. Defeat and possibly anger radiate off of Noah as he handed his boarding pass to the attendant behind the desk and grumbled his thanks before slipping down the long hallway towards the plane.

“She didn’t mean to break him,” I defended Y/N. “She’s going through something that takes a lot out of her every month. It’s a constant battle between what she wants and what her body needs.”

“I know,” Jolly nodded. “We’re here if any of you guys want to talk.”

I bumped fists with him. “Thanks, man.”

READER

There’s a thousand voices in my head, all saying the same fucking thing, and I hoped they didn’t take a rope around my neck.

Pathetic.

You can’t give him what he wants.

He won’t wait for you. He’ll find it with someone else.

I slammed the pillow over my head to smother the voices away. The darkness that clouded over my room did nothing to help the raging pain that pounded within the confines of my skull. Everything hurt and screamed for release but I did nothing. I’d rather let my body succumb to it than ease it because once the pain was gone, memories of Noah crept back in and I didn’t want to be reminded of what I did.

How beautiful his face looked when he asked me to say until morning.

How broken his face looked when I said no.

And how destroyed his face was when he begged me to come back.

Noah’s face haunted me every single night the last two weeks that I refused to sleep for longer than a few hours because I would eventually wake with a scream, his name echoing off my walls. The guilt of walking away sat heavy on my chest as I sat in bed, scattered pens, papers, and a fully charged laptop at my feet.

Rain pelted hard against the large windows of my bedroom and I sighed, knowing there was another full day of storm's head; figuratively and literally.

Salem’s soft meow broke me from my frozen trace and I picked him up from the floor to set him in my lap. He purred loudly as I scratched his head, letting the softness of his black fur calm my racing heart.

“I know Chase already fed you, stop trying to get second breakfast.”

It had been a few weeks since I moved in with Chase and Malcolm, all of us falling into living together quite fast, until the pandemic hit and forced us inside. I didn’t mind it, being holed up in my room with my writing and Salem, but Chase was going stir crazy. He was the social one out of the three of us, and knowing he couldn’t go out to see friends or even go for a hike was making him bang his head against the wall.

Malcolm, on the other hand, loved staying home. He spent the time writing music on his bass or baking bread. According to Chase, the first few batches weren’t that great, but he didn’t dare tell Malcolm that.

I stayed in my room most of the day, only seeing one of them when they occasionally checked in on me or brought me something to eat; like right now.

A soft knock on my door made me tear my gaze away from the page full of lyrics.

“Hey sweet,” Chase said while leaning against the doorframe. “Are you hungry?”

I shook my head.

Salem jumped off of my lap and scurried towards the light that poured in from the hallway, clearly having enough of the dark somber of my bedroom.

“You have to eat something,” Chase sat at the end of my bed.

I pulled my knees to my chest and rested my chin on them. “I’m not hungry. I’ll come down and eat something for lunch soon.”

“It’s almost six in the evening, Y/N,” he sighed. “You’ve been up here all day.”

Shit, have I?

Glancing to the clock on my nightstand, I realized he was right.

“Oh,” I shrugged. “I’ve been busy.”

Chase pointed to the papers in front of me, a silent way of asking if he could read it so I agreed with a nod.

I wanna feel something. That's not the touch of your breath on my neck. I wanna feel something. That's not the weight of your world in my head. And all the walls are caving in.

“This is really good,” he mused while handing it back to me.

I simply hummed in response, not exactly sure what he wanted me to say.

“Anything else?” I asked after some silence, keeping my eyes trained hard to the rain splashing against the window behind Chase.

His jaw ticked. “You’re killing yourself, Y/N. I hate seeing you like this.”

“I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not. Just call him and explain-.”

My eyes snapped over to Chase. “No, there’s nothing to fucking explain. I walked away from him, I hurt him, Chase. He won’t forgive me.”

“You don’t-.”

“Yes, I do! You don’t see what I see!” I pointed to my head. “Every fucking night his face haunts me. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat because it makes me fucking sick.”

I choked on a sob as tears slipped from my eyes down to the scatter of pages on my bed. My cries drowned out the rain as Chase pulled me down to bed, letting me lay against his chest, the wetness of my mistakes staining his shirt.

Memories of Noah will always fucking haunt me; how devastated he looked as I turned my back to him. I tried to force them away by thinking of anything else but truth was is I didn’t think he was going anywhere, soon. I’ve done some things that I can’t speak and I tried to wash Noah away, but he wouldn’t leave. Although, part of me was almost begging him to keep haunting me just, so I had an excuse to see his face.

I think I’m possessed, that was the only explanation. He put a fever inside me and I’ve been cold since I left him in that room weeks ago.

CHASE

I walked passed Y/N’s door again; she needed to eat. She hasn’t eaten anything since dinner last night and that was a small bowl of cereal. It was nearly two in the afternoon and if she continued at this rate, she’d be a mess of skin and bones. I was supposed to be out with Malcolm but felt as if I should stay back. Something was deep-rooted in my gut that I needed to be home with Y/N today.

My knuckles raised to the wood of her door, ready to knock, but stopped when I heard that song play yet again. Y/N’s had it on repeat every day for the last three days, nothing else coming from her room besides Keaton’s voice.

Fuck, why did she have to torture herself like this?

I sighed, knowing this was going to be a whirlwind, and pressed my ear to the door. Her soft, broken, voice singing. Suddenly the music stopped for a few seconds before Y/N replayed it and got louder.

Who was she talking to?

“How can you say this was all part of your plan, start explaining?”

“I knew you wanted me to meet him! I fucking knew it! Well guess what, Keaton?! I did; I fucking did, and now look! Look what happened!”

Keaton.

I ran a hand over my buzzed head and quickly typed out a message to Malcolm, who was out shopping. Since the ban had been lifted a few days ago, we were planning a small vacation just the two of us in a few weeks and he was buying things we needed.

Well, as long as Y/N was in the right headspace, we would leave her. But with what I was hearing on the other side of the door, I was afraid our vacation would have to get pushed back.

She’s blasting Eiley again. But now she’s talking to Keaton, blaming him for her meeting Noah. I don’t know what else to do, Mal.

What sounded like something falling over and breaking made me press my hear against the door again.

“Left with this hole, six feet of dirt I can’t fill,” Y/N’s raw but powerful voice called out into the air.

My phone buzzed with a text from Malcolm.

We need to talk with Nick. There’s not much else we can do, babe.

I sighed, knowing he was right, and quickly sent a text to Nick to see if he was free sometime next week. I remember him saying in our Hollow Omens group chat he was flying back from Virgina on Friday to see everyone.

Of course, neither Noah nor Y/N would ever respond in the chat, not wanting to risk saying something to each other. Maybe if they did, she wouldn’t be talking to the ghost of her best friend.

“Oh god, it hurts,” she wailed and I could picture her clutching her chest. “Why did I do this? Why did you fucking leave us both like this?”

A loud thud had me taking a step away from the door, thinking she was about to come barreling through but realized she was throwing things against the door and walls of her bedroom.

“I’m no better than you! I fucking left him. He wanted me, all of me, and I fucking left!”

“Oh, sweets,” I let out a shaky breath, hands reaching for the doorknob.

“He was mine, he was mine!”

She was mine; she was mine!

I hesitated opening the door at what I heard. Did she? Did Y/N change the lyrics of the song so it was as if she was saying Noah was hers?

Something fell to the floor, glass shattering, and Y/N’s ear piercing screams dug the knife deeper into my heart and I slammed through the door, it slamming against the wall next to me. All the blood drained from my face at the scene in front of me; Y/N was curled up on the floor crying, a framed photo on the floor smashed to pieces. She was clutching a piece of glass in her hand, droplets of blood falling to the wood floor beneath her.

“Fuck, Y/N!” I cursed while sliding on my knee’s in front of her to snatch the piece of glass from her tight grip, slicing my fingers. “Oh, come on sweets, get up! Don’t-don’t do this.”

Fear of what would have happened if I went out with Malcolm dug their nails into me but I refused to acknowledge the pain. Not right now, I can think of the what if’s later. Righ now, Y/N needed me.

Hollow, sunken, and bloodshot eyes stared up at me through the tears that clouded her vision. “I ruined everything, I ruined everything! His face! You didn’t see it! You don’t know!”

Her ramblings had been the same for a month now, never changing.

“Sweets, hey, it’s okay.” I cupped her face. “You didn’t, you’ll figure this out! You’ll talk to him, he’s not gone for good, Y/N. He’s here, he’s here.”

It killed me holding her; she was in agony. She felt like she ended Noah for good. It was almost as if she confused her feelings of grief and heartbreak into two. Noah was alive, his flesh and blood was still awake, he was numbing but he was there. She needed to remember this; she needed to know the feelings she was suffering through had a chance to get better.

“He’ll never see me the same,” Y/N kicked the broken frame away from us but I could see what picture it held; Noah and her at the zoo while they waited for the wolves to come out of hiding.

Unbeknownst to them at the time, I smacked Bryan’s chest so he could take a few pictures of them.

“Just give it time, just give it time.” I said while holding her, rocking her back and forth.

A little kiss on her head. My sister, my friend.

MALCOLM

“Hey sugar baklava,” I knocked on the door frame to Y/N’s room.

She was sitting at the large bay window, sunshine brushing its bright rays across her pale face and dark floors. It's been a few days since Chase found her with the piece of glass in her hand and ever since then, we made it a rule that she had to keep her door open. We didn’t care if she continued to hide away up here but the door needed to be open. It might have been a teenager rule, but we didn’t want to take any chances. We already knew she was hiding things from us so this was the only way.

“Where’s your head at?” I leaned up against the wall while crossing my arms over my chest.

Y/N chuckled at the nickname but I could see there was no light behind those usual bright eyes. She’d been sitting in that same spot for the last day and a half; hair not washed since I can’t remember when, clothes piled up, notebooks out with a variety of lyrics scribbled on every pages and her laptop always had a full charge due to the plug remaining inside it.

Through the pain, she smiled up at me. “Just the usual, contemplating my fucked life and all its wonders.”

I inhaled deeply while stiffing up straight. “I know what you’re going to say, but you are more than welcome to hang out with us at Applebees later. They have dollarRitas.”

“Thank you, maybe,” she smiled weakly.

“I’m worried about you.” I sighed with concern. “We all are.”

Salem clawed his way out from underneath her bed to stretch wide in the one spot on the floor the sun touched. If it wasn’t for that furry little creature that hated my guts, I don’t want to think of where Y/N would be right now.

“I’ll be fine,” she reassured while holding up a granola bar. “Bring me back some tacos?”

“Deal,” I smiled.

Turning my back to leave, her voice called after me. “Mind feeding Salem on your way out?”

My eyes cast down to my feet as the black cat sat between them, dark green eyes staring deep into my soul.

“Fuck, Y/N. Your cat wants to kill me,” I shivered at the thought.

She chuckled. “As long as you feed him, you’ll live!”

MALCOLM

The noise of the city faded to a dull buzz as I set down my second empty margarita class and pushed away the rest of my lunch. We were sitting on the patio at Applebee’s, the warm Los Angeles air doing nothing to ease the shake in my bones.

“How’s she doing?”

I nodded towards Nick who sat across from Chase and I. “Depends on the day you ask. But after the other day, we’re watching her like a hawk.”

He raised a brow. “What happened?”

Chase and I shared a look before eventually telling Nick about catching her with a piece of glass in her hand.

“You don’t think-?”

“I don’t know what to think, man,” Chase took a long drink of his beer. “I catch her breaking shit then holding a piece of glass in her hand so tight she cuts herself? Thankfully, she didn’t need stitches but if I wasn’t home, who knows what could have happened. She’s playing with her health and I don’t know what to do to help her.”

“What do you mean?” Nick wondered.

I ran a hand through my hair and sighed. “She hasn’t been taking her medication. There’s at least six more pills than there should be. And two extra vials.”

“What about Noah?” Chase asked, suddenly not wanting to change the subject.

He adjusted the sunglasses that was perched on his nose. “His drinking is getting worse. We want to be stoked because he’s written two really great songs but the alcohol dulls the excitement.”

Chase spun the ice in his drink with the straw and sighed. “Y/N has Eiley on blast until 2 am, hunched over in pain and screaming into her pillows. Writing at random. It’s killing me, to watch her like this.”

“Noah’s been playing Sympathy a lot too, while downing the bottle of whiskey and writing. A fuckin mess, man,” Nick leaned back into the chair.

“Can I tell you something?” Chase asked.

“Shoot,” Nick nodded.

“If fucking hurts to hear this but sometimes, when she plays Eiley, so faintly I can hear her singing. There’s a part in the song where Keaton’s broken as he says she was mine-fuck- I hear Y/N sometimes crying and changes the words-.”

Chase paused, trying to find the right was to convey what he was feeling and Nick tilted his head in wonder.

“He’s mine, he was mine. He was mine,” I finished for Chase, knowing he wouldn’t be able to get the words out.

“She regrets it all, Nick.” Chase rested his arms on the table so he could look directly at Nick. “I think-no I know, she loves him. Y/N fell for him so hard, and I don’t think she’ll ever forgive herself for leaving that room.”

“I know,” he sighed. “That’s why I’m on her side for this as well. You told me what she’s going through, it makes sense why she freaked out the way she did.”

I shifted in my seat. “Did you tell Noah?”

“No,” Nick firmly shook his head. “That's something you two or Y/N has to tell him.”

Chase reached for my hand under the table and once our fingers were linked, I gave Nick my best stern gaze. “We have to do something.”

For a long few beats, we were silent, thinking of ways that we could help these two talk again. They weren’t going to do it on their own; the needed help.

“We’ll shoot them both a text,” Nick began. “Same time, telling them to get their heads out of their asses, because let’s be real- they’re stubborn as hell and won’t listen to us directly. They need an outsider to call them both out to wake the hell up.”

“So what? I text Noah while you text Y/N?” Chase wondered.

Nick nodded. “That’s exactly what I’m saying. They need help, they both do, desperately and they need each other. They’re just being ridiculous about it.”

There was a clear hesitation in my expression with Nick's idea. “You know it’s not gonna magically happen over night though right?”

“Of course not, but I have a hunch it’ll work,” Nick assured while throwing some money on the table for his lunch.

“What we need to do is get them to seek help. They have soon many unresolved issues, deep-seeded. They need to get help and get them to at least be friends again. They’re in love with each other. That won’t change, but the circumstances have to.”

READER

The pillows muffled my screams as I clutched my abdomen, the stabbing, sheering pain spreading through my veins like wildfire. Every fiber of my existence was screaming at me to stop the pain, make it all go away, but I ignored it. I needed to feel this; it was the only thing that made me feel anything at all.

Eiley played on a loop through my speakers as I spoke into the air above me.

“Choose me over him, I often wonder why.”

“How can I face him again, Keaton? How? How can I ease the pain, he’s mine. He was mine.”

Rolling over to my other side once the pain stopped for a few moments, I started at the basket on top of my nightstand. 1, 2, 3, 4, bottles, and one syringe. They just stare at me. I counted each bottle, and that syringe repeatedly. A reminder of the work it takes to make myself normal. A reminder of what happens every month like fucking clockwork. A reminder that no man would ever want to stay with me and deal with this alongside me.

“Noah would,” I muttered into the pillow that was stained with my tears.

Yeah? Well you ruined that, sweetie.

I’ve had fans ask me, “how do I keep myself from losing myself entirely?” All I can tell them is that it can’t rain all the time. I hide the pain behind a smile and slip into a parallel universe.

I’m constantly making a series of small holes in a row, mistakes I made in my membrane between here and there until an opening exists. And who can resist an opening?

So do I take the meds? Or do I lay here and rot?

I’ll take them tomorrow. It’s already too late in the day, no need to take them.

It was the same thing I told myself every morning when I would wake up and stare at the medication. The same thing for the last month.

Maybe if I stopped taking them, I would go back to my natural state. I could succumb to the natural order of things, or maybe the pain would be so severe I’d be fine with dying.

Okay.

No. Stop. Stop that!

The voices continued to fight with each other as I dug my palms into my eyes, hoping his haunting face would leave; even for a few seconds.

Maybe I could wait for the dust to settle.

Eiley started playing yet again and I narrowed my eyes up towards the ceiling. “If this is all part of your plan, Keaton then start explaining because this is fucking bullshit. You wanted us together, well fucking give me a sign it’s worth it.”

I stared at those bottles and wondered why any of this mattered when my phone buzzed from underneath my pillow. Groaning, I had every intention of ignoring it, thinking it was the Hollow Omens group chat of Folio saying something he thought was funny; most of the time it was. But today, the pain was so debilitating that I wasn’t in the mood for jokes.

Nicholas: Hi.

I sucked in a breath, not expecting a solo text from him. I wanted to leave him on read because there was no reason for him to be texting me. What’s there to say? He's my friend, but Noah is his brother, why would he care about me at all? I hurt his friend.

But.

That one word weighed heavy on my mind as my shaking fingers typed out two letters back.

The bubbles popped up and stopped, then popped up again, before proceeding to another text.

I hope you’re alright, Y/N. and doing okay. I hear you moved in with the guys, a great idea and I’m glad you’re settled in.

That message I left on read only because I was hunched over my bed now, dry heaving saliva into the bowl that had a permanent spot next to my bed on the floor. The pain was becoming too much; like an animal with razor like claws were digging through my skin to be set free. My stomach was being ripped to shreds.

It wasn’t until almost an hour later once the pain and my screams of agony finally stopped that I had the courage to look at my phone; the text from Nick smacking me in my face.

Y/N, first I just wanna say this: it isn’t my business to step in or to make assumptions I know everything. I had a talk with Chase and Malcolm, and I understand to a degree what you’re feeling right now. I will admit, I was angry at you; you hurt my friend. Noah isn’t doing well right now, but he’s trying. However, I’m trying to remain mutual about this. I see what you both have; I see what you’re both capable of even if you don’t right now. He needs something; he needs someone stable in his life who can give him the comfort he’s been searching for; I thought that could be you; you acted as if it was. Maybe it still is?

Ten minutes in between this text and the next one.

I would never step in and say something like this to anyone, but because of our current friendship and the situation that’s in front of us, I had to. Because I care about you both. Noah deserves better than what you did; he deserves better than walking out with more questions than answers. But you deserve better than the trauma Trey left you with. My friend’s not perfect but he’s not that fucking guy. All I ask is that you dig deep and see that you can really work through this. Not just alone but together. Don’t be a stranger, Y/N. Please don’t. We miss you.

My eyes blinked a few times at the screen, wondering if what I just read actually was there. Everything Nick said was one hundred percent the truth. Especially the part where Noah deserves better than what I did. But so did I. I also deserved better than what Trey left me with.

I gazed back up towards the ceiling, a small smile pulling at the corners of my lips. “Thanks, Keaton.”

READER

When I was supposed to be awake, I was asleep. When I was supposed to sleep, I was silent. When a pleasure offered itself to me, I avoided it. I wrote that fucking song repeatedly, a better perspective- a perspective of what I wanted to do that night.

I’ll face my fear of the cold nights

When you leave me behind

I felt your hands in my hair

I felt your breath on my neck

Yeah, I need to feel you again

Just wanted to say good night

Our eyes fighting the light

But I’m not ready to say good night oh

I try and hold on tight ‘cause it’s just not time to say good night

To say good night

One song completed last week and another one just needing the finishing touches. It was all falling into place; well, most things. All I wanted was for Noah to call me when he woke up. I wanted to be in his sweet dreams. But almost three days after Nick texted me, my phone remained silent. Nothing, no texts or calls from Noah. Which at the moment was fine because currently, Malcolm and Chase stood at the foot of my bed with their arms crossed over their broad chests, eyes staring daggers into me.

“The syringe?” Chase asked.

I nodded. “This morning.”

“Pills?” Malcolm then questioned.

Playfully rolling my eyes, I filled my palm with the variety of differnt pills and tossed them into my mouth, swallowing them down with the orange juice they’d brought up minutes ago. I even opened my mouth wide to show them I wasn’t hiding them under my tongue.

Malcolm physically relaxed but Chase wasn’t convinced quite yet.

“Did you call?”

I groaned. “Yes, dad. I have an appointment on Tuesday at ten in the morning. Did you want to drive me there too?”

“You bet your ass I am,” he narrowed his eyes before breaking out into a huge smile. “I’m proud of you, sweets.”

“Me too, buttercup,” Malcolm ruffled my hair.

I playfully smacked his hand away before motioning towards the open door of my room. “Feel free to close it on your way out.”

Salem meowed from his perched on the open window and I realized it was nearing five in the evening. “Oh, dinner time.”

I went to stand from the bed but Malcolm playfully pushed me back down.

“I got it. Let’s go, Salem,” he tapped his thigh a few times, my cat quickly following out of the room.

Chase watched with amazement in his eyes as I let out a lighthearted laugh, one that he hadn’t heard in so long, no doubt.

“What?” I asked, grabbing my phone that buzzed on my bed.

He shrugged before walking out. “Nothing, it’s good to hear that laugh again.”

Smiling, I looked down at my phone but nearly dropped it as I read the message over and over again. Chase noticed my face right before he stepped through the doorway and motioned towards my phone.

“Who is it?”

Mochi 🧋🥟: Hi.

My heart hammered against my chest and it felt like I couldn’t breathe, the butterflies in my stomach fluttering wildly with life I thought would never return.

“Shit, shit.” I muttered while showing Chase the message.

“Well fucking answer him, Y/N.”

“I- what do I say?” I asked as my breathing became erratic.

Fuck, it was like I was a teenager texting her crush for the first time.

“Start with a simple hello. Today’s the first day of you getting your life back in order.” Chase left a kiss to the top of my head before leaving me alone to my own choices.

I stared down at the phone, thumbs hovering over the screen, wondering what the fuck I was going to do.

Do I take Chase’s advice and get my life back in order? Or do I remember all the pain and agony, dark nights where I contemplated ending it all?

#noah sebastian #noah sebastian and reader #noah sebastian x reader #noah sebastian reader insert #noah sebastian smut #enemies to lovers #right person wrong time #starcrossed lovers

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ambrozjas · 3 months

Note

Could you do a songfic with the song 'Mary' by Alex G with Dallas?

I love your writing sm it genuinely makes me happy <3 take your time with this request and have a lovely day !!

mary is the girl that leaves you to rot ꨄ︎

✧˖*°࿐ notes 🧸ᰔᩚ

i cried makjng this n im so proud of it n i love alex g sm

✧˖*°࿐ warnings ᰔᩚ

major character death, grieving reader, weird descriptions of adrenaline because i’m obsessed with it, song lyrics r in italics !! 💕

✧˖*°࿐ word count ᰔᩚ

2276 words, 12170 characters

. ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄

mary is the girl that i wanna kiss

she’s got big red eyes and big red lips

she’s got big sharp teeth and big fat hips

dallas winston was known as a lot of things. he was a hood, a filthy greaser, a pervert, an idiot. and while you had heard all of these things about him, you had never actually spoken a word to him besides a gruff, “watch where you’re going” when you bumped into him.

you took notice of the hollowness in his dark eyes, the way his hair was always tussled, the way a new purple bruise was always blooming on his cheek, the milky skin that shone through the small slit of his shirt lifting when he stretched, the fullness of his pink lips whenever a cigarette was sticking out between them, how soft they looked..

no, you told yourself. dallas winston was a no good hoodlum who couldn’t keep his hands to himself. that’s all he was, and that’s all he’ll ever be. but how wrong you’d come to be in the future.

mary is the girl that i wanna fuck

she’s got leather heart and leather gloves

over the next few weeks, your mind couldn’t help but wander about dallas. you practically analyzed every part of his being. the way his eyebrows furrowed when he struggled to light the cancer stick meticulously placed between his index and middle finger, his leather jacket creasing at the forearms in the process.

but of course, your thoughts had to be interrupted. whether that was for the better or worse, you couldn’t decide.

“hey! what’cha lookin’ at?” your friend slides up next to you on the bench, slipping out of the sun’s reach and under the tiny umbrella shielding you two as she followed your gaze. you both were at a small diner, eating outside despite the tulsa heat causing your thighs to sweat when you sat down. you didn’t mind the heat, maybe that’s why you started playing with fire by talking to dallas winston.

you muttered a quick, “nothin’” when you saw your friend roll her eyes and groan at the fact that you were watching him, dallas. you snatched the juice box that she held out to you while she continued to watch dallas with two younger kids chase a group of small kids around, shouting about in an attempt to scare them.

“i still don’t get it. yeah, he’s a bit cute but i don’t understand why you’d go for a guy like that—“

“i’m not going for anybody. ‘s it a crime to observe the locals?”

“bit creepy but,” she paused as she tsked, “not a crime.” she sighed, sipping on her own juice box once more.

she’s the only girl that i wanna love

when you had finally mustered up the courage to talk to ‘the big bad wolf’ himself, you got through the brief scoffing-at-your-attempts-at-conversation stage and actually realized that dallas isn’t all that bad. maybe he’s wore you down, maybe it’s just habit at this point, but he’s actually tolerable when he’s not around all these dumb broads who are looking for a quick bang.

it took a while. like, a long while. but dallas didn’t mind you anymore. you were no longer the pest that buzzed around his ears in hopes that you weren’t swatted away. dallas claimed he didn’t have friends, need friends. but you’re one of the closest people that would ever get a chance to see dallas the way he truly is. you had met the curtis brothers, already recognizing sodapop from school before he dropped out. you had met two-bit, an obnoxiously flirty drunk who threw teasing remarks at you and dally at night long. you had met steve, although all he did was sneer at you when you got close to him, similar to a dog with a piece of beef in its mouth.

when dallas had finally asked you out, it was curt. grumbling a small offer in an attempt to sound tougher so he would mask his awkwardness if you said no. but if you’re being honest, you couldn’t imagine being with any other boy besides dallas winston. he plagued your mind, planted like weeds that you couldn’t get rid of. whether that were his intentions all along were unknown, although you wouldn’t put it past him. dallas was an interesting guy, for sure.

listen to me baby, i don’t mind

i wanna be with you and waste my time

“y’know, you don’t have to be here right?” you asked him, watching as he blowed another cloud of smoke through the small gap his mouth provided on the other side of his cigarette occupied lips.

he merely glanced at you, his arm behind his head as he lounged about on your bed, weight crinkling the sheets.

“because if—“

“can you relax? i wanna be here, otherwise i’d get up and leave right now.” he plucked the cigarette from his mouth as he fully turned his head to look at you.

you shrugged, “i wonder what’d make me ask when you’ve said ‘i’m wasting my time’ and ‘how long are you stretching this out’ and—“

“alright, alright. i get it.”

you sat in silence for a bit, feeling a bit awkward at the fact that you pulled his card and had said nothing more. you were convinced dallas would leave once he had sat up, dusting some ash off of his dark shirt.

“how long ‘til you finish that thing?” he pointed to the paper on your desk below you, leaning his elbows against his thighs as he got comfortable in the new position.

“why? you need t’much attention?” you cooed at him teasingly, still keeping your eyes glued to the paper.

“feels like you’ve been workin’ on it forever. i don’t wanna spend my time in silence while my girlfriend is just working on her homework.”

girlfriend, you repeated in your head. he’s been getting pretty ballsy with this label thing, huh? you smiled to yourself, writing one last sentence before putting your pencil down and getting up from your desk. dallas’ eyes trailed your figure as you stood between his legs, his hands instinctively resting on your hips.

you would almost call it domestic, the way his brown eyes gazed at you. the brown eyes that were so full of disdain and resentment for the world, somehow had room for adoration whenever he looked at you. you always admired that about him.

you placed your hand on his face, before giving him his wishes and unceremoniously plopping on top of him. you couldn’t deny him, dallas winston always got what he wanted.

give it to me baby, i feel good

i wanna feel whatever you think i should

sing it for me, baby, play my song

i wanna hear your daddy sing along

“i dunno.” he said, shrugging his shoulders.

“what do you mean you don’t know?” you put your hand on your hip and looked down at dally, a cancer stick shoved between his lips as usual.

“i don’t dance, ‘specially not with losers like you.”

“hey!”

it was the perfect moment, you were at a family party with dally. you two decided to go to a small clearing behind the house, the smell of trees wafting in the air. it was distant enough that nobody would see you but it was close enough that you could still hear the music faintly blasting through the speakers.

“c’mon dal, nobody can see us. just you ‘n me.” you held out your hand, tilting your head as you offered for a final time.

he stared at it for a second, eyes flickering between your face and your hand as he cocked an eyebrow similarly to two-bit’s habit.

you scoffed and rolled your eyes. “fine, guess i’ll just go find another guy to dance with. i’m sure andy would love—“

and then came dally’s hands on your hips pulling you back towards him when you tried to saunter away back to the front of the house. you yelped as he tugged you towards him, getting up from the small white garden chair.

you laughed and threw your head back as dallas tried to twirl you, he was almost comically stiff as he did a small two-step shuffle with you in his arms.

“wow, so romantic.”

“shut up.”

you leaned forward and rested your chin on his shoulder, relaxing in his embrace as the music changed to a much slower song. you assumed the adults were slow-dancing with each other, too. you found it funny how when you were little, you would gag at anybody else doing these actions and now, you just realize how in love they were with each other.

you mumbled the lyrics a bit as you swayed in dally’s arms, resting your eyes as his hands came to sit on your waist.

dallas relaxed a bit, too. he listened to your sweet voice as you lowly whispered the lyrics from off the top of your head, mumbling incoherent phrases at lyrics you didn’t know.

if you had told anybody else about this, about how you had practically domesticated dallas winston, about how he was no longer the big bad wolf of tulsa but instead of a common dog who rested his head in your lap, they’d never believe you. they could never believe that he could be anything else besides a greaser, that’s all that mattered in this town. you cherished these moments, oblivious to the futures ahead of you and dallas.

mary is the one who leaves you to rot

she says, ‘i am real and you are not’

that phone call from dallas still haunts you. his voice was breathy, you heard him groan at the slightest shift of movement, he sounded like he was on the verge of tears.

“what did you do, dal?” you remember the way you clutched the landline, your palms had already been sweaty. one second you were hunched over a desk stressing about math homework, and the next you were pressed up against the wall as you frantically tried to get dally’s location.

you remember the way he had whispered your name over the phone. his voice cracked as he repeated it. for a while, it was ‘doll’ this and ‘baby’ that, he rarely called you by your name anymore.

“please, just tell me where you’re at dallas.” your voice was barely a whisper at that point, you were surprised at how the phone picked it up. you pressed your forehead against the wall as you begged him not to go once he told you his goodbyes. you remember how before he slammed down the phone, he let out a small cry.

“i love you.”

and then came the familiar dial tone.

you remembered feeling a pang in your heart, it was like your vision went blurry. your throat was practically coated with barbed wire as you fought back a sob, biting your fist to avoid a cry from escaping your lips, an old habit you had learned from dallas whenever he tried to hide from you.

it was nothing like the movies, where a dramatic string quartet would play in the background as you ran in slow-motion out the door. your mind couldn’t think, your thoughts couldn’t focus. your thighs started shaking as you ran out of the door, not even bothering to put shoes on.

the cool air hit your legs, creating a pebbles effect against your skin as the goosebumps raised. your legs didn’t stop, you ran until you couldn’t anymore as you followed the noise and the array of police cars that made a bee-line down the street to the old convenience store.

you remembered the burn in your nostrils and at the back of your throat, the cool air hitting both your bare shoulders and sinuses. that didn’t stop you, though. all you could think about was dally.

you remembered how your eyes couldn’t even focus on what was in front of you. all you saw was dallas, and in his hand was a gun, in replacement of his normal cigarette.

she says, ‘i am real and you are not’

you couldn’t eat after that. who could eat so casually after watching their boyfriend be gunned down right in front of them?

it’s all a blur now, your adrenaline blocking out most of the details. all you remember was crying, as shouts came from the gang, yelling about how dally was just a kid. those screams still haunt you to this day. even now, you can’t look at a pack of kools without thinking of dallas.

you understand why he did it for johnny. johnny was the closest thing dally had to a family. if he was alive now, you’d smack the shit out of him though. you weren’t selfish, nor were you a mean person, but you couldn’t forgive dallas for doing this to you.

as you laid in bed the night of his death, you remembered how dally had made promises that were soon proven to be empty about escaping this small town, to a place with no worries. you realized now how stupid it sounded, but that didn’t matter to you because you had dally. had. and now what you had was gone, lost with the solemn memories of resting against the silk pillows and whispering small words that no other person would ever get to hear, for those words would never leave that bedroom, and those words would never leave your mind either.

you know it now, that dallas was trying to just plant himself in your mind. in his own sick way, he wanted a piece of him to be left with you. and you couldn’t deny him, dallas winston always got what he wanted.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ the outsiders did NOT have to go that hard with that “whatever dally wants dally got” quote

kiss kiss ˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 ꒱

#the outsiders x reader #the outsiders #fanfiction #x reader #dallas winston x reader #dallas winston #angst fic #songfic #dally imagine #the outsiders dally #dally winston #dallas winston headcanons #dallas winston blurb #dallas winston imagine #dallas winston fanfiction #the outsiders fanfiction #ambrozjas #kiss kiss

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ihave-atummyache · 6 days

Text

i was never there

bang chan one shot/imagine

SFW but some allusions to NSFW activities.

toxic relationship! toxic!chan toxic!reader

summary: to everyone’s disapproval, you and chan just cant seem to leave one another alone.

1.2k words

Chan knows that the two of you breaking up was for the best. Your relationship was unstable and toxic, borderline obsessive. You both had become distant from important things in your life because all you cared about was each other.

If he knows that then why is he feeling so guilty about having someone else in his bed? Why does he feel guilty that it isn’t you in some foreign country with him instead of some girl he met at a bar? Why has he only been able to write the worst heart broken lyrics that he has ever thought of?

Despite his better judgement, after his hookup leaves, he sits up and grabs his phone. He unlocks it and instantly opens social media, hoping that you had posted something, posted anything, just so he could see your face.

He feels like he’s going crazy. He checks your social media at least 10 times a day. He doesn’t care if he’s the first view, he just needs to see you. He opens your profile and sees you posted a story and of course he opens it.

13 s ago

He chews his bottom lip as he analyzes the photo you had posted. It looked like you were having brunch and mimosas but that isn’t what bothered him. What bothered him was the fact that there was somebody sitting at the seat across from you.

There was another plate and another glass but the chair was empty, something you had purposely done to try to maintain your privacy, he assumes.

Maybe it’s the drinks he had earlier in the night or the post nut high but something makes him open his texts and message you, despite every fiber in his brain telling him not to.

Who are you with?

Why would he say that? Now he probably looks insane. But your response is almost instant, not even a minute later.

it’s almost 5 am over there. why are u up?

He chuckles at his phone. You’re right, it’s 4:47am where he is but he can’t help his stomach doing a flip at the thought that you know exactly where in the world that he is. It makes him feel slightly less crazy that you seem to have been watching him just as much as he has been watching you.

Keeping tabs on me now? He types the message and sends it before he thinks too much about it. This is the first time the two of you have talked in almost a month and he feels like he’s getting an adrenaline high.

Chan stands from the bed and heads to his bathroom before turning the shower on and staring at his phone as he waits for the water to heat up.

ik YOU aren’t talking about keeping tabs on anyone. somehow you see everything i post within a minute of it being posted. care to explain? He can sense your sassy attitude through the screen and smirks down at his phone.

I can’t miss you?

Risky. Risky reply and he knows it but its all or nothing at this point.

He sends the message before he can think too hard about it. He sees you’re typing then the bubble disappears. This happens a few times before he finally decides to get into the shower.

A few countries away, you’re staring down at your phone, debating how you should reply.

“I fucked up,” you glance up at your coworker, a new friend that you had made. She had listened to you rant and rant about your ex boyfriend and it had actually brought the two of you pretty close.

“What happened?” She raises an eyebrow at you as she takes another sip of mimosa. you let out a sigh, running a hand through your hair before sliding your phone across the table to her. She reads the messages quickly before shaking her head in disbelief.

“He is fucking insane. Are you going to reply?” her words linger in the air for a minute before you grab your phone and read over the messages again.

“Should I even reply? This is so toxic. I’m feeding into him. Fuck!” You drag your hand down your face, frustrated and the waitress returns to your table at the perfect time.

“Can we get another bottle of champagne?” You ask with a polite smile and she nods before walking away.

“Y/n, it’s 11 in the morning,” your new friend eyes you from across the table and you shrug.

“I’ve officially been driven to drinking. I just need to get drunk and then I’ll go home and fall asleep then I’ll wake up and text him back,” you nod at her and she chuckles but lets you continue drinking anyways. Your phone vibrates again on the table and you flip it over, Chan had texted you again.

“What did he say?” Your friend already knows who it is without you having to say a word. You lean forward and unlock your phone and your heart drops at the message.

Baby, I need you. I miss you. Come to the show in Seoul.

You choke on air and start coughing before sliding your phone to your friend so she can read the messages. Her jaw drops and just as she hands your phone back, a notification pops up at the top of your screen; an incoming call from ‘Christopher Bahng’.

Without thinking you answer the call, excusing yourself from the table and stepping onto the patio, right next to your table so your friend can still see you.

“Chris…” you breathe his name out, it feels like a stab to your chest when you hear him let out a breath on the other side.

“I’ve missed hearing you say my name. I miss you so much, baby. Did you see my message?” His voice is slightly slurred over the phone and you recognize the influence that alcohol probably has over this entire interaction but honestly, you don’t even care.

“I saw it. Chris I don’t think that’s a good idea-”

“I don’t care if it’s a good idea or not. I just need to see you. I’m going to lose my fucking mind if I don’t get to hold you soon,” his voice is desperate and you can hear how overcome with emotions he is.

“We aren’t together anymore. This is exactly why. We aren’t healthy for each other, baby. You know that,” the nickname slips from your mouth like a habit and you immediately gulp when you realize what you said.

“I don’t care. I don’t care about anything if you aren’t at my side,” his confession just further nails it into your head that the two of you aren’t good for each other. You chew on your lip, pulling your sweater tighter around yourself.

“Fine.” Before you realize it, you have agreed to see him, just one more time. This will be the final time, your final goodbye.

Or the cycle will start over and you’ll be back in the endless toxicity that you two have been in for a long time.

“God, I love you so much, y/n,” his voice is raspy and you can tell he’s getting tired.

“I know, Chris. Send me two tickets so I can bring my friend since you ruined our brunch,” you chuckle and you hear him laugh on the other end.

“Yes ma’am,” he replies and you feel your phone vibrate, probably the notification that he just sent you the tickets.

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lunedottir · 11 months

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ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤVAMPIRE .. !

where you made a real big mistake, but Miles made the worst one look fine.

inspired by Oliva Rodrigo lyrics.

pairing: e42!aged up!Miles x reader

genre: angst, no comfort.

warnings: infidelity, both of them are 19, cursing, Miles being toxic

a.n: hi guys! i haven't posted day 2 of my writing challenge so here it is! i'll post twice today to make up to it, and i'm already working on it! love y'all, enjoy! xoxo.

taglist form

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤPLEASE CONSIDER REBBLOGING!

you hadn't heard from Miles in days. sick worried, you had talked to all of his friends, and all of them would just shrug you off, and you knew something was wrong. you knew that it wasn't exam season at college, so why was he avoiding you? leaving you on delivered every day, not answering your calls, nothing. it was like you never met each other. until you got a text from an unknown number: a picture of Miles kissing another girl. the one girl that would always say how cute you two were together, the one girl that Miles told you not to worry about. you just couldn't believe that, after all of that you've done for him, you ended up being the fool. you texted him that same day.

you: we gotta talk.

mi vida <3: im omw

you: bet.

(delivered at 3pm)

he showed up at your window in his prowler suit at 2AM while you were writing your daily diary entry.

"hey." he called, making you look up from your notebook. "you good?"

"yeah, i'm good."

he looked at you, and you could see that he wanted to tell you something. you knew him better than he did, and that was the worst part of it.

"spill it."

"i… i fucked up, ma."

he mumbled out, and immediately you knew what he was talking about. why he was so distant. why his mother was avoiding you, why even his uncle, who was never even nice to you, asked if you were okay this morning when you ran into him.

"fuck yeah, you did."

"i'm sorry, y/n, i really am-"

"no you're fucking not. don't bullshit me, Miles Gonzales Morales."

"can you listen to me first?"

"no! no, i can't! God, i can't believe how stupid i was."

"ma, you're overreacting."

"am i? am i overreacting when some random number text me a picture of my fucking boyfriend kissing the one girl i was insecure about?"

"it was a one night stand, ma, i made a mistake! i love you!"

"no, Miles, i made a mistake. i made a real big one, and you made it look so fine!" you raised your voice, tears flooding your eyes. "and you can't love anyone, because that would mean you have a fucking heart!"

"c'mon, y/n, you're better than this. bet it was those crazy friends of yours that filled your head with that bullshit."

"don't you open your mouth to talk about them! they warned me! they told me you were bad news and you called them crazy like you did just now! God, i hate the way i called them crazy too…"

you leaned back, covering your face so he wouldn't see you crying. he walked to you, taking your hands and analyzing your face carefully.

"are you done? can i kiss you now?"

you scoffed, pushing him away

"is she better than me?" you mumbled, wiping the tears away.

"what?"

"is she better than me, Miles?

"you can't ask me that-"

"yes or no?"

he was silent, but you felt the energy shift.

"no one is better than you."

"it's incredible how you lie without flinching."

"listen to me-"

"get out of my fucking house."

"woah, who do you think you're talking to?"

"a stranger." you looked into his eyes, and you knew he knew it was over. "i hope you're happy, Miles. i truly do. but we both know that you'll never have another me."

he started to walk away, ego as shattered as your heart.

"thank God for that."

you took the ring out of your finger, placing it on his hands.

"we'll see about that."

you watched as he walked away, giving you one last look before leaving through the window. as you set down on your bed taking the notebook to write that down, you felt your eyes tearing up, and soon teardrops were staining the black ink that covered the pages. you knew that, eventually, Miles would regret that, but it would be too late.

this is so bad, i'm so sorry (⁠-⁠_⁠-⁠;⁠) i hope y'all like it and let me know if you want a part two !! love y'all, xoxo!!

taglist: @elusive-honeydew

edit: I'm working on a part 2 of this one!!!!please lemme know if y'all wanna be tagged!

#42 miles morales x you #miles morales x you #earth 42 miles x reader #atsv x reader #moon writes!#writing challenge #miles morales angst #i'm sorry this is terrible #miles morales #miles morales x reader #42 miles morales #42 miles morales x reader

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milktei · 8 months

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Us Without Me

Suna Rintarou x gn!Reader

Genre: Angst. hurt with no comfort :0. a bit of a character study??? with a touch of song fic (but no lyrics because it’s just not my thing)

Warnings: none(?)

Requests: Closed

not edited

a/n: A small gift for 300 followers :3 Based off of the song ‘Us Without Me’ by Grent Perez (PLS LISTEN TO IT. AND HIS WHOLE DISCOGRAPHY ITS BANGER AFTER BANGER FOR ANY MOOD). i haven’t had the energy to do any requests but this song just inspired me and i managed to write it between all my school work.

I hope y’all enjoy this because i know that i’m very inconsistent when it comes to posting but i’m so so grateful to everyone that enjoys my writing. I’m currently in stem so being able to be creative in some way between my stressful life has been a blessing. it’s just an extra benefit that people enjoy what i write.

In his defence. He was never that in tune with his emotions. At least… that’s what he keeps telling himself.

The silence that came with staying up well into the night was something that he used to relish in. After a hectic day of training he knew that eventually the night would come and he could relax in complete silence doing whatever he wanted.

That was until you left.

You used to go up to him to talk about your day the moment he got home. He would often tune you out as he took off his shoes, up until he managed to get into the shower. His days used to be filled with your voice.

Used to.

For a while after you had left the apartment, he thought that you’d eventually come back. You always did. You usually needed a bit of time to calm down after big arguments such as the one you had that one fateful night.

Eventually you’d come around. That’s what he always told himself.

Though it seemed like this would be the one exception. Now he was left in this apartment that felt far too big, and far too quiet for one person.

How he wished to hear you talk about your day just one more time.

He was never the type to think much about the past, always the kind of person to look towards the future and its plethora of possibilities, but not this time.

In the quiet parts of the night, when there was nothing to distract his mind from reminiscing, his mind forced him to consider the ‘what if’s?’ What could have been had he not spoken to you the way he did that night. Had he put aside his pride for once and chased after you like the damn fool he knew he was.

You leaving him left him with more questions than answers. Rather, more questions that he didn’t want to know the answers to. Questions that he would never be able to pull himself to ask.

He would never ask those questions. He kept his space. He wouldn’t dare contact you because he knew that it wasn’t him that you wanted. Definitely not because he was scared of any further rejection.

Definitely.

So he was stuck, thinking about what you had, cursed with the thoughts of what could have been while you had managed to break free.

He eventually got into the habit of watching from afar, just to make sure you were doing okay. That’s what he would tell himself unconvincingly. What a mess he was, looking at your posts on social media for a bit too long. Clicking on your account and scrolling through it a bit too often.

Analyzing your most recent post for a bit too long, and realizing that there were two drinks at the table you sat at. You’d always beg him to visit new cafes with you, more often than not he’d say he was busy or tired.

He’s stare at the picture for far too long, and eventually realize that you were looking at the person taking the picture with the same flustered yet elated look that you would give him all that time ago.

His heart sinks to his stomach but all he can do is look at you through a screen.

The more you posted the more evident it became that you were over him. He would chuckle angrily at his phone. The same phone you would beg him to get off of, just to give you even a fraction of his attention. He could never tell if he was angry at you for moving on so quickly, or at himself for caring so much now. Only after you had left for good.

He found himself wondering how you purged him from your heart so easily. When the mark you left on his was still so prominent. Then he remembers how he treated you and the mark begins to throb.

He thinks about how you live somewhere else now. How you’ve made a new place your own but even after all this time there are still remnants of you in his godforsaken apartment. The bath mat you bought, the way you organized the kitchen, the body wash you insisted he buy because you liked the way it smelled. He still buys it.

All this pain and heartache that he feels. He worries that he’ll be tethered to it forever. forced to live with the fact that he’s lost the best thing that could have ever happened to him and he’ll just have to accept it. For a man that only looked to the future, he can’t imagine himself living as carefree as he once did and it worries him. More than he would ever like to admit.

He finds himself comparing your new relationship to the one you two used to share. An immensely unhealthy habit for one to develop, but one he couldn’t free himself from.

‘We used to be like that’ he thinks to himself dejectedly as he sees a video of you and your new flame a mutual friend posted. He can see himself in the position of the other person but then he is dragged back to reality, and can see it’s the relationship you two once had. Just without him.

In the end he has to accept the bitter truth and realize that it wasn’t him that you needed. But god he still desperately needed you.

But as he looks at your new relationship, it becomes more clear to him. He didn’t deserve you, and he would have to live with that. The amount of attention and love you now get. The happiness in your eyes that grows with each post. It’s incomparable to how you two used to be. When he’s feeling particularly pathetic, he imagines himself as your new partner. Devoted, loving, determined to ensure the relationship works.

That’s where his imagination stops. In reality he knows that your relationship never looked like that. It never would have, not with how he was.

So he remains in the silent darkness of his room. Staring at pictures of you and your new fiancé. Stuck in his delusions that in another life this is exactly how your relationship would looked. It’s just that this time, it was without him.

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu #haikyuu angst #haikyuu oneshot #suna x reader #suna rinatro #suna rintaro x reader #suna rintaro angst #hq suna #haikyū!!#haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu reader insert #haikyuu!! x reader #suna rintaro x you

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ayustuff · 11 months

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" ᴏɴʟʏ " ʙʏ ʟᴇᴇʜɪ | bakugou katsuki x fem!reader | 2.1ᴋ+ ᴡᴏʀᴅѕ

y'all gotta hear this song ! i just thought of the lyrics this morning and searched it. till this night the song never left my mind... btw the yt MV is better.

the temperature today's cold. you sway with the breeze dancing through the lovely melody that your mind has created. you imagined dancing with him, being with him, holding him so close. feeling his warmth you dance through the cold breeze. every step you take you craved his touch, needing to feel him once again. you placed one of your hand at his shoulder and the other with his hand. you dance as if he's with you.

Be my only one

the breeze seems to whisper his name making you shiver. you mumble his name again and again. his name tasting sweet everytime you say it, to the point it melts your tongue. you recall all the memories you have spent with him.

The name I want to call you by 이렇게 부르고 싶은 이름 내 곁에

you smiled at the feeling of his hands holding yours, his thumb soothingly rubs the back of your hand. the breeze travelling slowed, the melody had fade away. you opened your eyes and smiled at the thoughts. the feeling of his hands on yours didnt fade away, it lingers as you continued your way home.

Let’s hold hands and walk along... 손을 잡고서 같이 걸어요

tiny drops of water came from above. you realized it's raining, you looked for a place to stop by. you've seen a cafe near by, you quickly run to the cafe. parts of your clothes are soaked, you sighed.

On rainy nights Or on lonely days 비가 오는 밤에도, 외로웠던 낮에도

a few minutes passed the rain havent stopped, only it became heavier. you look up at the dark sky admiring the rain drops.

"dumbass! i told ya to bring an umbrella, you fuckin' know well these days rain." he lectured you holding out an umbrella for you. "is this- is this my umbrella? and how did you find me?" you said bewildered. he clicked his tongue. "yeah, dumbass it's yours! you're lucky i noticed you didnt brought it."

"oh... and how did you find me?" you repeated your question. he groaned looking like he's ignoring your question in purpose. "i thought you're at your favorite place. i looked for you and saw you here." he took a pause analyzing the place. "why're you at a cafe anyway?"

"ahhh... i just took a stop here, waiting for the rain to stop." you turned your gaze to the heavy rain. "ahh, thought you wanted some pastries." you grinned at him. "what? gonna treat me with some?"

"i guess so. if you want some."

Please color me with your shiny light 그대 환한 빛깔을 내게 가득 칠해줘요

after katsuki ordered you pastries and your favorite drink, you shared the food with him and saved some for later. when you two stepped out of the cafe the rain has stopped. you walked with him home.

"what's for dinner?" you smiled at him.

"you just ate pastries, still hungry? hah?"

I’ll do better when you promise me we will stay together... 내가 더 잘할게요, 이렇게 같이 있어준다면

you replayed the scene at your favorite place again once more. his hands now holding yours, no imaginations. you smiled as you lean closer to place your head to his shoulder.

Now I believe

at home you felt cozy, you joined katsuki in the kitchen. you hum the tunes of the song, the one your mind created.

"hm? what's that song? sing it to me, princess."

you stopped at your trail. "i- i don't really know the lyrics. the tunes just appeared on my mind then i just find myself humming it."

"ahhh. well, after this we could finish the song." he pats your head.

Lalalalalalala I sing a song like this... 라랄라랄라라 부르는 노래

you and katsuki finally finished dinner and headed to the livingroom. "so, how do you picture the song?" katsuki says flopping on the couch. "i dont exactly know..." you said sitting next to him.

"what were you imaginin' when that tunes are created then, hm?"

"...dancing with you...?" you answered his question embarrassed.

"mhm. then shall we dance, princess?" he stands up then bows. he extend his hand asking for yours which you gladly put yours. you stand up and he leans in your ear. "start humming the song, maybe we'll end up finding ourselves getting lost to it."

With the one I was desperately looking for... 찾고 찾고 찾아 헤매이던 그대와

"say what were you imaginin', princess." he pulled you closer. "i uh... was dancing with you... i- one of my hand on your shoulder-" katsuki places your hand on his shoulder. "continue." he smirks. "and... uh- my other hand is holding yours..." he snakes his hand at your waist pulling you even closer as his other hand connects with yours. "i think i know now what vision were you imaginin'."

My, oh my, oh my, oh my love 내 사랑

"mhm, start humming the tunes princess." he starts swaying rhythmically with you as you start humming.

Be my only love

he began to create steps, visualizing the perfect move matching with the beauty of the melody you're creating. the steps made you surprised yet you two are in sync, like you two are made for eachother, though you two are.

Every step we take 걸어 걸어가는 발걸음마다

theres a point where the time slows down, you noticed his expression, soft dilated eyes, rosy cheeks,a smile that you always dream about. you smiled back at him, eyes closing. your humming gets more softer as the time passes.

It’s like a dance we perform together 기분 좋아 꼭 둘이서 추는 춤 같아

you examine him for awhile. "why'd you stop?" he asked as he spins you. "huh?" you fall back but he catches you. "you stopped humming."

"ahhh sorry, got a little distracted." you stumble a bit.

"hmm, better be because of me." he joked.

My, oh my, oh my, oh my love 내 사랑

after that katsuki became more gentle with you, his moves being more smooth, slow, and intimate. you feel his hands are all over your body, in your waist, with your hands, your cheeks, all parts. you thought that your humming turns into train wreck. you were lost in his touch, barely processing the hums escaping in your lips.

Be my only love

"calm down. take deep breaths." he whispers in your ears when he noticed you were distracted again. his whispers are far more better than you imagined. you shivered at his words, flustered. yet you still managed to take deep breaths and calm down again.

Be my only one

you felt safe in his arms, you knew why. his actions say that he does too. he spins you again, this time it worked perfectly. your smile grew wider, his heart began overflowing from your love, his ears painted with red blush hearing your laughter.

I don’t have to hide my feelings anymore... 이제는 숨기지 않고도 말할 수 있어

katsuki catched you when you fell after the spin. his hands are back on your waist again, his head on your shoulder. you can hear his breaths. he mumbles some words you cant understand. you returned your gaze to him, you gave him a peck on his cheek.

The words I sincerely wanted to say... 그렇게나 말하고 싶던

the tunes faded away, the background music inside your head did too. you two's gentle movements swaying through your humming now turned to slowly rocking. he placed his forehead atop of yours, his crimson eyes staring at your lovely heavenly eyes. he whispered in your ears again,

I say "I love you"

you two finally took a break on the dance, you two were ready to sleep, cuddling. "you got any ideas on the lyrics?" you adjested your pillows.

"yeah, but its for tomorrow. it's late now, you should sleep."

On tiring nights and busy day 쉬고 싶은 밤에도, 바쁘던 아침에도

you let out a huff. "please? just a little?" you plead. katsuki sighs rolling his eyes. "fine." katsuki rolls and landed on you, his head on your chest hearing the sounds of your heart beating. katsuki inhales and exhales. he started singing the lyrics,

Please make room in your heart for me to rest 그대 내게 쉴 곳을 마음속에 마련해요

he sing the lyrics, feeling the rhythm. he plays your hums in his brain like a broken record,

I’ll do better when you share your love with me... 내가 더 잘할게요 그 맘을 내게 나눠준다면

he paused, he closed his eyes. a few second passes and you still haven't heard any continuation. you got confused. "what's the next line?"

"said, its for tomorrow. rest."

katsuki sleeps peacefully, while you wonder, his words sounding familiar. you're still awake but your eyes are closed. anytime right now, you will probably fall asleep too.

Now I believe

that night you dreamt a continuation of the event. everything was a blur, it was only focused on his face. katsuki opened his mouth saying something.

you woke up to a voice, katsuki's. he's still at his sweats sitting at his work chair. he's holding a pen, which makes you remember the lines he said last night. "you're working on the lyrics?" you hugged him from behind. "yeah." katsuki tried to cover few of the lyrics. "can you sing it to me?"

he inhales and exhales again. he began matching your hum's,

Lalalalalalala I sing a song like this 라랄라랄라라 부르는 노래

he sing the song. he's perfecting every part of it, singing with the voice of the gods.

With the one I was desperately looking for... 찾고 찾고 찾아 헤매이던 그대와

you leaned closer, you closed your eyes. you joined him, you sing together. the notes flew in the air, love is just beside the notes. you and his voice danced the same way you two did.

My, oh my, oh my, oh my love 내 사랑

you placed your hands on top of his, you traced over his fingers. his hands are soft but rough, warm, quite veiny. he gave you a quick peck. you smiled at him, continuing the song, he did too.

Be my only love

your actions made him soft, relaxed. his cheeks, neck, and the tips of his ears painted with red blush as always. katsuki turns his chair to face you. he then places his hands on your hip and pulls you into a hug. he inhales your scent. katsuki's hands move its way to your ass urging you to seat on his lap.

My only one, when i see you 그대를 보면

his lips rosy, you stared at it for awhile. you leaned in, kissing him. you closed your eyes. katsuki tilts his head deepening the kiss. you played with his hair for awhile. you pull away, gasping needing to breathe.

I want to lean on you I want to have you 기대고 싶어 가지고 싶어

katsuki carries you, standing up. he puts you down. he continues the song, starting you sway with him. he's hold you tight not wanting to let go, his eye contact never leaving yours.

A love like this would make even the most immature dream come true... 이 사랑이라면 어설픈 꿈도 이뤄질 것 같은데

you two performed the dance again, this time with the right music. you adjusted his shirt, giving him a loving smile which he gives back.

Now I believe

his face lit with an orange light due to the morning sun making his hair glow and his eyes stand out. you gently twirl your fingers to few of his strands.

Every step we take 걸어걸어 가는 발걸음마다 (step we take) (걸어 가는 발걸음)

he takes in your scent again. he murmur a soft 'i love you' on your ear. you chuckle at the way his breath tickles your skin.

It’s like a dance we perform together 기분 좋아 꼭 둘이서 추는 춤 같아

he tuck a few of your hair strand. he kisses you all over the face with bites which makes your skin red. he pulls away analizing your face, then had a good laugh.

this. this is the exact copy of your imaginations.

My, oh my, oh my, oh my love 내 사랑

you pout at him which makes him kiss you. "dont be mad, princess. you look cute." you roll your eyes at him. ignoring you he continues the song,

"Be my only love"

La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la 랄랄랄라라라라라라

you continue sighing with a slight smile on your face,

"my only one"

the lyrics are delayed if read with this, im sorry hshshs. :' (this is a repost btw)

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mountingpulisic · 1 year

Text

YOU BELIEVE ME NOW?

part one

It had been a total of two days since you broke up with christian, yet that didn’t stop him from sending multiple texts or calling a dozen times a day. you had gone as far as blocking his number, not needing the constant reminder of his infidelity.

your brothers had called you on three-way after your fight with christian, asking you if they needed to drive down to cobham and teach the pretty boy a lesson. you dismissed their protectiveness and assured them you were able to deal with this heartbreak on your own.

you were an absolute wreck nonetheless, it felt as if someone came and ripped your heart out of your chest and stomped on it repeatedly.

it was as if you were going through the seven stages of grief, but you had skipped the first four steps.

the first night of your heartbreak you had cried. you cried watching the movie, someone great, you cried when you saw his favorite ice cream in the freezer and you cried when you had to fall asleep alone.

the second night of your heartbreak, you cried a little less. slowly accepting the harsh reality that the one person who promised to never hurt you, had.

now here you were, at one o’clock in the afternoon, blasting taylor swift. christian had always asked why you sang with so much emotion to her break up songs even though you two were perfectly fine, you had told him that you were an empath, she made you feel her pain.

at the moment however, you wonder if she felt yours as you belt the lyrics of babe.

there was a light knocking at your front door as your favorite verse had started to approach, one that you could now relate to.

“since you admitted it, i keep picturing it. her lips on your neck, i can’t uns-” your singing had come to a dramatic stop when the one person you were singing about, stood in front of you with the said girl you were also singing about.

you went to close the door but christian’s hand had halted the movement.

“five minutes. i am asking you for five minutes to let me explain.” christian pleaded, removing his hand from the door when he felt certain you weren’t going to shut it.

“this is my sister’s friend rileigh, she is in town with her boyfriend on a business trip. I ran into her while we were both leaving the bar, y/n. I didn’t plan on meeting her there, i was actually with mason and ben. you would’ve known that if you had answered any of their calls.”

you squinted your eyes at him in disbelief, was he really catching an attitude with you when he was the one caught cheating?

christian qued rileigh to speak, jerking his head towards you when facing her.

the pictures posted in the article didn’t do her any justice, she was a mix of bella hadid and freaking beyonce for crying out loud.

“he is telling the truth, y/n.” you wanted to rip your hair out, her voice was even attractive. “ i tripped over my heels and grabbed onto his arm to steady myself, my boyfriend is even in the pictures, just a few feet behind us.”

you didn’t know who her boyfriend was nor did you care, you weren’t looking at anyone else in the photo but her and christian, you didn’t need to analyze the people around them too.

“then where’s your boyfriend now?” you asked crossing your arms over your chest, looking between them both, wondering where the one person who could help prove their case was.

“he is in the car, i can go get him if you want me to?” rileigh had offered. when you had just stared at her back she took that as a sign that she needed to go retrieve her boyfriend in order for you to believe christian.

with rileigh walking off to go grab their star witness, it left you and christian in an uncomfortable silence.

“you got a lot of nerve, pulisic. bringing your other woman to my doorstep, way to rub it.” you whispered shouted at the dumbfounded brunette, christian couldn’t believe you still thought he cheated on you.

“do you hear yourself right, y/n? who in their right mind has all the evidence in front of them but still chooses to believe a magazine company whose livelihood depends on stirring shit up? and are you seriously listening to taylor swift right now?!”

before you could respond back to him, rileigh was walking up the stairs hand in hand with her so-called boyfriend, she could’ve pulled him off the street for all you knew.

“now do you believe me? this is her boyfriend, y/n. this is justin.”

eyeing the couple in front of you, you couldn’t deny their obvious chemistry, he was holding her tightly around the waist as she leaned into him.

“I’m not sure if i e-” christian had shrieked loudly interrupting you.

digging into his pocket to retrieve his phone, he had tapped on it harshly a few times before he shoved it in your face. his screen reflected the same article you had read a few days ago.

“look closely, don’t focus on rileigh and i, focus on our surroundings.” pinching the screen, christian enlarged the photo for you.

lord behold, there stood justin behind rileigh, holding on her waist as she gripped christian’s forearm, supporting the fact that she indeed had tripped and was using christian to break her fall.

mouth opening and closing, you couldn’t find any words to stubbornly argue back and christian had realized this, his smirk growing an inch per second knowing he proved you wrong.

you go to argue another theory but christian shuts you up by lightly pushing you back into your apartment with him following behind. you heard him thank the couple for their assistance and close the door.

“I take payments for an apology only in the form of sex.” christian cheekily said as he made his way towards you, not being able to keep the smile off his face. he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you close to him. you rolled your eyes playfully as you melted in his touch.

you felt like a complete idiot for even believing the article. however to your defense your emotions were at an all-time high after reading the scandalous title and seeing the picture for the first time. you had also felt ashamed of yourself for not trusting christian.

“i’m sorry, baby. i shouldn’t have ever dou-” you were cut off by christian pressing his lips to yours, the two of you moved in sync as christian overpowered you for dominance of the kiss. needing to catch a breath, you two had separated, lips however still ghosting over one another.

“I don’t care what you have to say because i know if it was you pictured closely with another man i would’ve reacted the same. y/n, i need you to know that you’re it for me. there’s no other girl that can make me feel the way you do, there’s no other girl that i want to have my last name, there’s no other girl y/n. I forgive you princess. now i just want to forget that these past two days ever happened okay?” pecking you lightly on the lip, christian pulled you into an intimate brace.

“christian, im seriously so sorry baby. what can i do to make it up to you?” you asked, pulling away slightly to admired his face.

his famous grin started to make an appearance, bringing along his dimples this time.

startling you, he cupped his hands from right under your ass cheeks, swiftly picking you up and heading towards your bedroom.

“I did say i only take apologies in the form of sex, princess.” throwing you down onto the bed, christian was swift to dispose of his shirt, showing off his toned biceps as he pulled the fabric off his body. slowly making his way towards you, christian began to kiss delicately on your thighs before he made his way up to your lips to kiss you hungrily.

after a moment of passionately making out, christian pulled apart from you suddenly.

“what? what is it?” you asked frantically, missing the warmth of his body pressed up against you.

“my key, i want my key back y/n.”

you were astonished at the moment; he had interrupted foreplay for a damn key?

“okay christian, i will give you back your key after, now cmon.” you said pulling him back into the kiss but he stubbornly held his arm out to create distant between the two of you.

“key first, then sex.” he sternly said, crossing his arms to physically tell you he wasn’t budging until he got it back.

grumbling loudly, you dramatically got out of bed to go retrieve the stupid key he was whining about, christian was sure to give your ass a firm smack as you climbed out.

as you sought after the key, christian sat content in your bed. he wasn't playing again games when it came to winning you back, and he proved that to you.

#christian pulisic #christian pulisic x reader #christian pulisic x you #christian pulisic imagine

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gaystan · 1 year

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PRESENTING ME AND @11x13kyle's FIRESIDE CHATS WITH KYLE AND ERIC AKA NICHE INTERNET MICROCELEBRITY AU:

cartman and kyle host a podcast called fireside chats with kyle and eric that’s basically just red scare, cartman is dasha and kyle is anna

they're constantly beefing with each other on twitter and some people are convinced it's staged to promote the show but kyle just hates cartman That Much

a majority of their listeners are just there for the occasional mention of their batshit childhood experiences amongst all the terrible political takes

like "umm i don't wanna hear this insane opinion on al gore i want to know more about how you guys swear that he tried to get you to help him kill manbearpig when you were 8"

fans wonder if these events are true or if they're enabling each other's schizophrenia

cartman is always saying the worst reactionary things while kyle's takes are deceptively normal until he hits them with one that makes listeners go hey WHAT?

kyle resents being called a reactionary but cartman LOVES it, wears the label like a badge of pride

there is CONSTANT discourse about whether or not cartman's antisemitism is ironic or not, with the reasoning "why would kyle be friends with him if it was genuine," and kyle regularly takes to twitter to say "IT IS NOT IRONIC."

kyle peaks the mic multiple times an ep yelling at cartman, says they'll edit it out in post, never gets cut because neither of them can edit

reddit posts go up are after every episode giving timestamp warnings for when kyle gets super loud

cartman has a christian music era, gets tradcath allegations and does little to discourage them

there are people who rpf ship kyman. cartman knows about this and tweets at fans asking them to send him fic recs

secretly jacks off to them

has a bit where he gives a shout out to his favorite kyman fic of the week and kyle breaks the mic every single time screaming at him

he posts unbelievably cringy "ironic" thirst traps to his instagram story at night and "ironic" drag pictures but the outfits and makeup are too good to be a joke

he also posts pictures of butters in bed with like bites on his neck to brag about getting hot tail but it's also just as unsexy

this is how he accidentally comes out, he was so distracted by the need to flex that he forgot he's still trying to beat the gay allegations

the "ironic" kyman fic jokes stop being funny

butters is adam friedland and kenny is the girl he cheated with

the butters show is cohosted with dougie and part of the alt right pipeline

stan is kyle's offline boyfriend in a B list rock band and wears fireside merch on stage sometimes

this includes the isis shirts which he swears up and down he didn't know were isis shirts

deeply apolitical by choice so whenever kyle talks to him about podcast stuff he nods along like whatever you say honey

he still listens to it he just tunes out of the political talk

the day his fans find out he's gay is the biggest day for them since his 2021 single hit the hot 100

everyone analyzing his old lyrics like oh my god. this was about a MAN. it all makes sense.

kenny is a twitter microceleb and socialite, much like with cartman controversy is part of the brand

gained thousands of followers over the butters cheating discourse

thirst tweets about kyle and they're secretly unironic

comes on fireside and rates youtubers he's slept with, kyle is disgusted and cartman is delighted

chapo trap house is craig and those guys

#it was so hard to narrow my favorites down like i said this went on for hours #south park #more cartman centric than i expected but i mean. Come On #suggestive #jic #a personal favorite #microceleb au

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anulithots · 1 month

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Link Click hyperfixation

THEY ARE MY EVERYTHING AND PERFECT YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND HOW PERFECT THEY ARE.

Fanfics (by me)

4am, in Which Exists Time and Time Alone. - The_Land_of_the_Fallen_Fairies - 时光代理人 | Link Click (Cartoon) [Archive of Our Own]

Dive back in time (to make cat pastries, and other random thoughts) - The_Land_of_the_Fallen_Fairies - 时光代理人 | Link Click (Cartoon) [Archive of Our Own]

Analysis (by me)

I started analyzing Cheng Xiaoshi on this ask (I am wrong I am so wrong the themes here are wrong I am going to fix this)

What if CXS still dies?

Hear me out... this would be worse than CXS and LG breaking up

How my analysis is going

An ask in which I ramble about CXS and Lu Guang's strengths and weaknesses, their dynamic, and rave about the donghua in general

Headcannons (by me)

Soy Sauce

Cooking

Cheng Xiaoshi's hair

Fanart (by me)

in my style

Edits

youtube

Playlists

Favorite Analysis

Lu Guang is a hypocrite by @briebysabs

Cheng Xiaoshi's backstory

Everything from @chubphoe-linkclick, so much analysis. I loveee it all so muchhh

Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang's powers

S2E9

What kind of story is Link Click by @oceaniche

Lu Guang's plan in s2, ep 8 (IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE HOLY HERBS) by @snorlaxlovesme

Favorite fanarts

Lu Guang sicfic manga by @intothefrisson <-- all their art is soooo goood 1000/10 reccomeded

To this pitiful me by @doublxpresso

(If I like a fanart I'll reblog it a million times... but I should really save them more... I'll get to that.)

Favorite fanfics

& despair has the knife at your throat, but hope will kill you first - Chapter 1 - sunslants - 时光代理人 | Link Click (Cartoon) [Archive of Our Own] by @sunslants

Only Your Heart Beats The Sound (Keeps Me Awake So I Can Fight) - RStar6709 - 时光代理人 | Link Click (Cartoon) [Archive of Our Own] by @ravs6709

Talk Me Through One More Night - Cruel (Crafty_and_Cruel777) - 时光代理人 | Link Click (Cartoon) [Archive of Our Own] by @celestialsun123

Extra

the wonderous @starryeyeddarlings translated the link click ads! (*gets so excited that I explode*)

Link Click OST for season one *excited screams* by @starrywangxian

CXS's vouge modeling days (season 2 spoilers) by @mylee-sketches

CXS's extra backstory from the audiobook

fics to read

#link click #lu guang #shiguang #shiguang dailiren #qiao ling #sgdlr #cheng xiaoshi #link click spoilers #Youtube #Spotify

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awyanno · 9 months

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“The evil, it spread like a fever ahead, It was night when you died, my firefly”

“Did you get enough love, my little dove? Why do you cry?”

“What could I have said to raise you from the dead? Oh, could I be the sky on the Fourth of July?”

“Make the most of your life, while it is rife, while it is light”

“We’re all gonna die”

Hi!!! I’m trying to use songs, cover art, and lyrics to analyze characters, relationships, etc to help inspire my fanart :)

Song: Fourth of July by Sufjan Stevens

- whenever listening to this song, I always thought of how it fit the dead eggs & the grieving that it brought. Half of the song is from a grieving child while the rest comes from a deceased parent, however, I interpreted it as the grieving parents reflecting on their kids and what went wrong.

Characters: Trump, Tilín, JuanaFlippa, Bobby

- Trump: so much of this song fit him & it was so hard to figure out which of the lyrics I wanted to use. I picked the first lyrics because after his & Tilín’s deaths, “the evil it spread like a fever ahead”, it didn’t take too long for Juana & Bobby to follow soon after. “It was night when you died, my firefly” Trump died in his sleep due to his tasks being left unfulfilled yet was the light of Max’s life & was so loved by Max when he was alive.

- Tilín: Tilín’s was pretty easy as “Did you get enough love, my little dove?” Is kinda self-explanatory. She often experienced neglect from Quackity as she was often paid little attention to in the chaos of the server. He’s a child, they’re innocent, hence the dove part as they often symbolize hope and love. “Why do you cry?” Tilín often sulked and cried in the background when she was left out or forgotten. He did get love, but not as much as he might have wanted from his parent. However, Quackity is asking these questions & from his perspective, he loved that little egg to the day he died. He has a biased perspective & can’t fully process what went wrong on his part of parenting.

-JuanaFlippa: Also very self-explanatory, “What could I have said to raise you from the dead?” This is definitely Slime talking to himself, trying to rationalize why it hasn’t worked another time. He was able to get her back before with his words, yet it hasn’t been working since, no matter what deals he’s trying to make or whatever scheme he’s trying to plan. Maybe he’s asking himself this after “JuanaFlippa” showed up in the cave, since he wasn’t able to do it before, how did she come back? “Oh, could I be the sky on the Fourth of July?” This is totally Charlie Slimecicle going on his egg killing rampage, trying to blow up the other eggs yet failing horrendously.

-Bobby: I had to do a little bit more thinking to pull a specific lyric for Bobby. “Make the most of your life, while it is rife, while it is light” Although, honestly, I feel like this is Bobby to the core. He was the happiest egg, not a care in the world. All that mattered to him was living life to the fullest with his parents, especially when he was overflowing with positive energy (no matter how violent he was, he never meant it in a bad way). The light part also symbolizes him as the sunset. he was the light, the final egg to live without true fear and after his death, many of the eggs are now scared of death & have trauma from it breathing down their necks 24/7 :)

Cover & inspo:

#qsmp #qsmp eggs #qsmp trump #qsmp tilín #qsmp juanaflippa #qsmp bobby #q!trump #q!tilín #q!tilin #qsmp tilin #q!juanaflippa #q!bobby #my art #PlaylistArt #qsmp trumpet #q!trumpet

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swiftgreatest · 1 year

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Daylight | Eddie Roundtree x Reader

request by anon: "Heyy i loved the eddie oneshot you made!! So i wanted to ask if i can request another eddie roundtree x reader inspired by daylight by taylor swift, especially this part " And I can still see it all (in my head)/ Back and forth from New York (sneaking in your bed)" ?? Thank uu, love your writing <3"

a/n: hello!! I'm so happy to write a one shot based on taylor swift song, I LOVE THIS WOMAN!!!!! i love her lyrics she's fantastic. so thanks for request, hope u like.

words: 3.5k

Drowning your sorrows with alcohol in a random bar in Los Angeles was not what you expected for the weekend. In fact, you expected much more. Being with the one you loved and who claimed to love you was what you wanted, watching random movies, kissing, comforting each other was all you wanted. But he didn't want that, in fact he didn't want only you.

You were cursing yourself for never noticing, all the times he ran away, ignored calls, made excuses, it was all in your face and you couldn't see it. You thought this was the one, your happy ending, the one you would love until the last day of your life, the one with whom you would share every part of your life. But it wasn't.

He betrayed and abandoned you, put you in his sea of illusions and lies, only to find someone else and abandon you. The love that you thought would take care of you and love you, the famous red love, romantic love, was actually a pack of lies, pretenses and betrayals.

You have never felt so used and hurt as you do now, it's as if you were trapped in a 20-year dark night, with no way out, no light, nothing to help you or guide you out of this darkness, everything was black and white for you.

As you were about to order another drink for the barman, a man sat down on the stool next to you. He was tall and handsome, his hair was a shade of blond with a bit of brown, his brown eyes watched you and with his slightly reddish mouth he smiled at you, he already had a beer in his hand and asked you for another, you arched your eyebrow in confusion and he finally spoke to you.

"Sorry I didn't even ask if you like beer.

"No problem, I like this stuff a lot" You pointed to the bottle, you were a little drunk but still understood what was going on around you and were aware of your mind.

"Well, my name is Eddie, Eddie Roundtree." He held out his hand and you shook it back, the way he introduced himself was different like he was used to people recognizing him or something, you even stopped to think for a moment and analyzed him. Who he was or who he could be.

Being an actress, working mostly in plays and musicals, you knew many famous people in various fields, actresses, actors, musicians of all styles and even other types of artists, so you tried to think if he was one of those artists. The style was typical of the rock movement, but many people followed that style.

"Y/N L/N. Have we met before?"

"No, but I think you may have heard some of my band's music" So he was a musician but that didn't help you "You know, The Six..." Oh so you recognized it.

"Oh, Daisy Jones and The Six! I remember that" You met them with Honeycomb, that song stayed in your head for months and when Aurora was released you were quick to buy a record for yourself. "Oooh we can make a good thing baaad" You sang, it was a bit of a disaster because you were a bit drunk, your voice was better than that but you allowed yourself to laugh at yourself singing like that to a guy you just met.

Eddie laughed at that, his voice came out a little slurred with the music and he loved that, he even sang the next part with you, and you both ended up laughing together at each other. You clicked very quickly. You started talking to him, about the band, the songs, and the current Aurora tour.

After that Eddie started telling you about his career, how he was a guitar player in the beginning of the band and then a bass player, he also told you about music, how it was something important in his life and how he intends to work with music forever.

"But I talked a lot about myself, what about you? Tell me about you?"

You told him all about yourself, every little detail, and Eddie listened to everything with excitement and curiosity, he saw you in the bar and thought you were the most charming woman he had ever seen, there was no way he could resist, and now each thing you said he was more fascinated by you.

From your life as an attendant in a market to the stages of Broadway and other theaters, you told your whole story to the bass player. He was surprised that you were an actress and was dying to see you perform, he was sure you were amazing.

With every word you said about your work, Eddie could see how passionate you were about your profession, passionate about what you did, and you had a great passion that he found beautiful as well as everything about you.

Between talking about your lives and other things, you and Eddie talked about the most varied subjects, it was as if you were old friends who had met and already knew each other's life story. The conversation was wonderful, you never felt so caught up and excited in a conversation with someone as you did with Eddie and you had only known him a few hours. You spent so many hours talking that the bartenders had to kick you out because they had to close, and you were the last ones to stay.

The musician and you left the bar laughing, who could imagine being thrown out of such a place? Nevertheless, this event didn't spoil the evening, nothing could. And who knew that you would have so much fun on a night that began full of sadness and disappointment. You were so happy that you met Eddie, he was like a light bringing clarity and joy to your evening.

After you left the bar, Eddie called a cab for you because neither he nor you could drive after drinking alcohol. You got into the cab and he leaned out the window to talk to you.

"So when will we see each other again? You were surprised at yourself for saying that sentence, it was so fast you couldn't even think, it seemed strange, you had just ended a relationship and were already going out with a guy? But this is your life, so you make the rules here and live as you like.

"Whenever you want, for you I am always at your disposal..." Roundtree smiled as he stared at you, he looked at your mouth, then at your eyes and you did the same to him. But he couldn't do that yet, you hadn't even had a decent first date and you had been drinking a lot and he wanted to do it sober.

You took a piece of paper from your purse and wrote your phone number "Call me, I'll be waiting for you rock star" You kissed the paper before handing it to him. After that you told the driver to go and waved to Eddie as the car pulled away. And if you had looked back any longer you would have seen Eddie kissing the paper with your number on it and looking at it like a winning ticket.

My love was as cruel as the cities I lived in

Everyone looked worse in the light

There are so many lines that I've crossed unforgiven

I'll tell you the truth, but never goodbye

Many months passed after that, there were many meetings, kisses, moments, jokes and conversations, but you remember everything in your mind. From your first meeting at the movies to when Eddie introduced you to his friends, the guys in the band loved you, everyone was kind and polite and you liked all of them, except Billy. Eddie told you some things about Billy before you met, but you left it to your own opinions without influence from anyone. So in your own judgment you didn't like Billy Dunne, nothing about him pleased you, his arrogant and smug air made you feel sorry for those who had to live with him every day.

But apart from that, you and the band created a good relationship, you became very close to Karen and she even revealed to you her relationship with Graham, you were happy but not surprised anyone could see how much the guitarist liked the keyboard player and you think they are cute. You also became very close to Warren the drummer was very happy that his friend had found a girl, especially one as special as you, so you became friends and you even saw Rollerball with him once.

Between the trips you had to make for your job to perform in theaters around the country, Eddie also had to travel for the Aurora tour, so from one city to another you would meet up when your schedules matched or you got a break and when you couldn't Roundtree would call you every day after the shows, this was like a rule to him, he wouldn't sleep or rest without talking to you, in fact he doesn't even know if he could because your voice calmed him down and talking to you made him forget about the problems of the tour.

On one of your days off you joined the band to go to Pittsburgh. Eddie was very excited about this trip, he talked about it for weeks and his joy was contagious. He really wanted you to see the city where he was born, and to meet his family, especially his grandmother. The bassist talked a lot about his family and all he wanted was to introduce the person he was completely in love with to the most important people in his life, his family.

The trip to Pittsburgh was good, you talked with Lisa, Warren's girlfriend for a while until you felt tired and you and your boyfriend went to sleep, you were in armchairs close to each other so he only had to put his arms around you and you put your head against his chest to sleep. You slept soundly feeling safe in each other's company and didn't even notice that Camila took a picture of you. She gave the picture to you a few days after the unveiling saying how cute you both were. And now you carry that picture with you everywhere you go.

The days in Pittsburgh were the best, Eddie was so happy, you fell in love with his family and the city, it was all so comforting, everyone was so kind to you. Eddie's family loved you, they were very loving, you spent the days talking to Eddie's grandmother, she was very kind, you formed a great friendship and Eddie was very happy about it. To see you with his grandmother at the show in Pittsburgh was very important for him.

But not everything was perfect, in the show Billy Dunne stole Eddie's part in Daisy's solo. In front of everyone, your whole hometown, your friends, your family, you. You spent the whole night after the show consoling your boyfriend, after the show was over you realized how upset he was, you were spending the days at his family's house so when you came back and went into Eddie's old bedroom, where you were sleeping, you hugged him and he started to cry.

He was so tired of being belittled, manipulated and used, he had so much talent but all he got was depreciation. Being in the band was a dream for him, but he never imagined that a dream could become a nightmare. You knew about what Billy was doing, about re-recording Eddie's basses and how he always belittled the bass player and other members of his own band, you were disgusted by that man.

"He couldn't have done that, not here in Pittsburgh, in front of my grandmother, in front of you. You sat on the bed as you continued to hold each other, his face was on your neck and you felt his tears on your skin, you were moving his hair trying to reassure him, it broke your heart to see him like that.

"He's an asshole. I know how much you want to prove to people how talented you are, but you don't have to prove anything to anyone, it's not your job." You pulled his face away from your neck to look him in the eyes "Your grandma knows how talented you are, your family knows it, your town knows it, and I know it Eddie, we're all proud of you.

"I know my love, but I can't understand how such a horrible person as that guy can get anything he wants, or do anything he wants and nobody says anything. I wish I could make him feel the same way, excluded, despised, ignored, he deserves it."

"Don't let this bad feeling consume you, it will only break you, or worse, it will make you just like Billy, a person who is so broken inside that he needs to belittle and break the people around him to feel better or superior. You are not like that Eddie, you are bigger than that, your music and passion is bigger than all that.

And it was looking into your eyes at that moment, inside your childhood bedroom, with the curtains open where the window allowed the moonlight to shine on you, that the bass player had an epiphany, a confirmation of how everything you had was something so precious and unique, that he wanted it forever, to be with someone who supported and loved him the way he was with all the flaws and faults, a love that told the truth but would never say good-bye

You once told Eddie that he was like daylight, that he brightened your days, cleared your thoughts and brought you out of a dark night of twenty years, and that now with him you could only see daylight with him. He had never understood that, until today.

I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you

I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you

I've been sleeping so long in a twenty year dark night

And now, I see daylight

I only see daylight

Sometimes life changes so fast that when we stop and look back we think how real was it? How much we felt and all that we experienced. It's crazy how fast the night can change. And that's what happened in your life and in Eddie's life.

After the Pittsburgh show the tension in the band increased, everyone was uncomfortable and in trouble, except Warren. Eddie was at his limit and you knew it, when he told you that he was leaving the band, you were sad for him, because you knew that this was his dream and he dedicated so much of himself, but you respected his decision and supported him in it, all you wanted was for him to be okay.

And your boyfriend really admired this in you. In the beginning he was afraid to tell you that he was leaving the band, he was insecure, the band was the only thing he had, he was afraid that you would see him in a different way now that he was not part of one of the biggest bands in rock. And he was relieved when nothing changed, you still believed in him and his talent.

You still remember the day after the Chicago show, you were at your home in New York. Last night Eddie didn't call you as usual and you were very worried, you called but he didn't answer. Then in the afternoon when the thoughts were troubling you, your apartment doorbell rang and you answered. At the door was Eddie, with a suitcase and a black eye, the only thing he said to you was "It's over" and you understood everything. You cared for him that night, you loved him, supported him, and cared for him.

In the months after the breakup, Eddie surprised you. He bought a new apartment, a bigger one than you had, a place of your own, where you could be who you were and love each other the way you wanted. Starting to live with Eddie was amazing, you had a great life, waking up with daylight shining on you, cooking meals together and making messes, sneaking in your bed, Eddie helping you rehearse lines for the plays you were in.

It was so funny, he was always so dramatic in his lines and so expressive, you laughed at him most of the time and it made the work lighter. Roundtree went back to playing guitar, he went back to writing, making some songs and meeting new bands, labels and musicians. And this is how Eddie slowly entered the world of music production. He got a job at a record company and became the producer of a hard rock band that was starting up.

After the first album, the band took off and Eddie's work was recognized, so the record company called him to produce other music and other artists and this is how he established himself as a popular and good music producer. You couldn't even describe how happy you were, you were so happy that Eddie would continue with his dream, you were afraid that he would quit music after the band and when he started producing music you could see how excited and happy he was, so you were happy too.

You accompanied him to all his events and he did the same with you, without the touring life he had more time now, so he went to all his shows and was your biggest fan as his co-workers said. His job remained the same and that's why you still need to travel.

And I can still see it all (in my mind)

All of you, all of me (intertwined)

I once believed love would be (black and white)

But it's golden (golden)

And I can still see it all (in my head)

Back and forth from New York (sneaking in your bed)

I once believed love would be (burning red)

But it's golden

Like daylight, like daylight

And that's what you were doing now. Sitting in front of a dressing table in your dressing room, you were getting ready to go on stage. You were in Arizona performing your new play that was showing in several states. It had been a month since you had seen Eddie and it was so hard for you, you spent so much time together, it was like the time he went on tour, you kept calling and even exchanging letters. In some of them Eddie sent you some lyrics he wrote about you, writing music was something he never gave up and you were proud of it.

Now looking in the mirror, you think back to all the moments you remembered, the first time you saw each other, life with him in the era of The Six, building a life in New York. And you could only feel grateful and happy to have built such an amazing life next to someone you loved so much and who loved you with the same intensity. Real love, with difficulties and battles, but together you overcame everything and grew to become what you are today.

You smiled at the thought, and were so thoughtful that you didn't even notice when a production employee walked into your dressing room.

"Miss Y/N L/N, this came for you" He handed you a bouquet of flowers, they were yellow daffodils, they were beautiful.

"Oh, thank you so much, do you know who sent them?"

"No, but this note came with them" He handed you a small envelope "And you go on stage in 5 minutes" You nodded your head in agreement and he left, then you opened the note.

"I have traveled a long way just to see my star shine with my own eyes on this stage. Greetings from New York."

The note was unsigned but you already knew who it was from, you cracked a big smile, kissed the note and put it away with the bouquet. Then you came out of your dressing room and ran onto the stage. Lights were turned on and the curtains opened, and when you looked out into the audience there he was.

In all his glory, he was standing in the front row applauding you and smiling at you proudly, the man who changed your life, who taught you that love was golden, that love is about good things and not about making the other person feel belittled, the love of your life, your daylight.

I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you (I can never look away)

I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you

(Things will never be the same)

I've been sleeping so long in a 20-year dark night

(Now I'm wide awake)

And now I see daylight (I see daylight), I only see daylight (Ah)

— — —

I LOVE WRITE THISSSS, HOPE U GUYS LIKE

masterlist

#eddie roundtree #djats #daisy jones and the six #eddie loving #request #swiftgreatest's write #eddie roundtree x reader #eddie loving x reader #eddie roundtree one shot #eddie loving x you #eddie loving imagine #eddie loving one shot #eddie roundtree imagine #eddie roundtree x you

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