#i finally stopped thinking logically and thinking abt how it all worked and went by the logic of what looked fun | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

reverieaa · 1 year

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Feel.

Let me start off by saying this: stop trying to find something that will finally trick your mind into believing it to be real.

I recently got curious as to why we read so much on how to manifest and once we have all the knowledge we need, we seek more and more.

The more we read the more clueless and helpless we feel. These are things I think abt often, in order to make my posts as helpful as possible because I see what a lot of you struggle in.

First you seek your desires, and when you're told you should not seek your desires-you seek to not seek them. You seek the feeling and then you're told it comes from the state- so now you seek to feel the state.

You read this post that tells you you should understand how loa works and now you seek to understand.

This is because you feel yourself to be a certain way, and take it as the truth.

I sat with myself and started thinking about where I went wrong, why I feel so trapped and helpless when I have knowledge on everything I need to know and more I order to manifest?

I came to the conclusion that to me, a lot of loa posts teach manifesting and everything around it like a school book. Like the topic itself is beautiful, but when you try to explain it logically, it becomes boring and forceful.

You seek more information because the way it's given to you.

I came to the conclusion that I never liked the word "belief", it's what always stopped. It traps me into trying hard, repeating info until you get overwhelmed and bullying yourself when you sprial. Creating blockages by feeling like something is wrong with you.

I'm glad Edward art's recent video talks about this, and as he would put it; it creates a hell of your own.

When you think of belief, you think of I think of habit and something that's hardended and complex. When you think of habit you think of repetition, and then you go back to repeating affirmations until you spiral again and fall down.

Only to ignore being honest with yourself because you're afraid and deny yourself that care when you need it to the most

Let me make it clear when I say: your problem is not belief, it is feeling.

If you are looking for a step by step loa manifestation routine that will guarantee you your desires faster than the void, you're in the wrong place, and have the wrong idea.

It is then when you sprial. When you restrict yourself and logically try to make yourself strongly belief in your manifestation.

A lot of you have seen repeating lines from every loa blog, mabye you're tired of us saying that "imagination is the only reality" and " you are God and other than you there is none above " and wished we'd say something different, something that would help you, but what else is there??

What else is there more to say after discovering you are God and that everything is a reflection within you?? Nothing because it covers everything there is to know.

You only "fail to manifest" when you fail to feel yourself be God. Not believe yourself be God, FEEL yourself to be God, feel to be the only reality, when you fail to feel yourself be the only one in power, that is when you state comes forward and you dress yourself in it.

Please meditate on my words, and truly accept yourself to be the only one. I'm talking about feeling it to the bone, not just become aware and then go onto the next post, realize what this means to you. The rest follows you, as everything does.

If it's said that everything is taken care of, thay you need only to go to the end, be aware that as God it is already so, then what else is there to do other than accept and feel how it is?

You only need to give yourself permission to shamelessly feel yourself to be, and all the worries you had before will quiet down. Do not think about checking how much you believe you have your desires and actually enjoy what it's like already having them.

Don't try to believe, but feel.

#affirm and persist #law of assumption #loa #manifesation #manifesting #neville goddard #3d #affirmations #loa methods #void state

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my-unmanageable-mischief · 3 years

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Flirt

For @artemis1orion Who requested Can I request a James Potter x reader where they’re kinda enemies since the reader was on slytherin. But whenever the reader gets a chance, she/they jokingly flirt with the marauders except james cuz she can’t actually flirt w ppl they actually like. Till like one day, James confronted the reader abt it cuz he also likes her?

James Potter x Reader

You wolf whistled from across the great hall, causing a plethora of heads to turn your way, including the boys whom attention you wanted. Your eyes met with Potter’s first and you grinned devilishly at him as he glared. The next boy you looked at was Remus, he was no fun though, he never flirted back with you, then Peter, sure flirting with him was a laugh, but not exactly what you were looking for at the moment. Finally, they landed on Black and you grinned wider, blowing a kiss across the room which he jokingly caught and tossed over his shoulder.

“What do you want Y/L/N?” He called out to you. Most students went back to their eating, but some kept their eyes on you, curious about the encounter.

“Nothing, you’re looking fit!” You yelled back, causing your friend next to you to groan in frustration.

“Y/N, leave it.” They demanded but you were just getting started. Black made a face before grinning, winking at you as he took a seat at the Gryffindor table with his mates. Potter simply continued to glare at you. Tosser. Cute tosser, your brain corrected, and hell, you couldn’t argue with that logic.

“You look pretty fit too, for a slimy snake!” You grinned cheekily at him wiggling your eyebrows suggestively.

“Come over here, Black, I’ll show you just how slimy I can be!” He laughed at that shaking his head and giving you a choice finger which you returned happily. You dropped it, letting the boys eat as you went back to your own meal.

“I don’t know why you do that.” Your friend muttered, “They’re Gryffndors, it’s gross.” You grinned and shrugged.

“It’s fun! And they’re cute, what harm can it do.” Your friend shook their head and went back to their meal, choosing to just ignore you, but that didn’t dampen your mood.

A few days later you were leaving potions and nearly bumped into Remus’s back when he suddenly stopped walking.

“As much as I’d like to bang you, I mean bang into you, I’d also love it if you kept walking.” You commented, Lupin looked over his shoulder at you and flushed before turning and shoving James through the classroom doorway.

“Go!” He demanded, Potter looked over his shoulder at Remus with a grin, and then past Remus at you and his smile immediately dropped, replacing it with a glare.

“Come on sweetcheeks,” You gave Remus a toothy grin, “Get that cute butt moving,” His blush only deepened, pleading with James with his eyes to get out of the bloody way. Potter moved and Remus jumped out of your way, you reached up and patted his cheek as you went.

“Such a sweetie you are, Third floor broom cupboard later, see you there.”

“No you won’t!” He managed to squeak out, but you merely laughed, sauntering off down the corridor.

“Want me to hex them?” You heard Potter ask, so you shot him a glare over your shoulder as you walked.

“I’d like to see you try!” James grumbled angrily to himself and Remus rolled his eyes.

“Come on mate, it’s not biggie. You know they’re just taking the piss.” Remus assured him, but James wasn’t pacified.

“They’re a bitch.” He stated, arms crossing over his chest, and Remus looked at him knowingly.

“Why don’t they ever flirt with you mate, they do it with everyone else.” Sirius asked, tossing an arm around his friends shoulder as they walked down the corridor in the opposite direction of you.

“I don’t know, but I’m glad they don’t.” He muttered and Sirius and Remus shared a look over their friend's heads, Sirius raising a single eyebrow.

“Petey,” You smiled sweetly at the boy, leaning on his desk as he sat next to James in potions, “Could I borrow a quill please?” You made puppy dog eyes at the boy and smiled sweetly, watching happily as he turned beat red.

“I don’t-” He cut himself off and you leaned further onto his desk, ignoring James’ glares. Peter searched through his bag before looking at you with wide eyes, not used to anyone openly flirting with him how you did.

“I don’t have an extra,” He admitted and you shrugged, plucking the one from his hands, twirling it between your fingers.

“I’ll just take this one then, love.” He went even redder and nodded his head vigorously.

“Okay!” He squeaked out.

“Y/N, give him back his quill.” Potter demanded, and you laughed.

“Nope.” You responded, popping your ‘p’. James stood up attempting to snatch the quill from your hand but you danced away from him with a wide smile.

“James it’s fine,” Peter tried to interrupt, but Potter was fed up. Finally, you had been trying to get him to this point for months now.

“Do something about it, Prongs,” You spat the nickname you often heard his friends using at him like it was a vile insult. He flushed, lurching at you, grabbing your wrist and holding it as he snatched the quill from your hands, handing it back to Peter.

“Now kindly,” He glared at you, “Piss off!” You laughed and rolled your eyes before turning to the table behind them where Remus and Sirius watched the exchange with amused expressions.

“Boys,” You winked at them, blowing a kiss.

“Y/N,” They replied.

“Go away!” Potter shouted, causing a few Gryffindors to snicker, but that didn’t bother you, so you went back to your own desk, sitting down and pulling out a quill to Potter’s horror. He wanted to rip your head off.

A few weeks later, you sat alone in the library working on an assignment for charms, head resting in one of your hands while the other one twirled your quill. You stared at your parchment, wondering if you concentrated hard enough if the essay would write itself. However, so far, you had little luck.

Suddenly someone plopped down in front of you and you glanced up, surprised to see James Potter sitting in the previously empty seat. You raised an eyebrow, looking around.

“Where are your goons?” You asked and he went from looking mildly uncomfortable to glaring at you.

“They’re not my goons.” You shrugged, looking back down at your parchment again, feeling your cheeks heating up slightly.

“Whatever you say,” You murmured, sticking the end of your quill into your mouth as you tried to concentrate. Potter didn’t move, so you looked up at him again, “Yes?” You asked, Potter looked as uncomfortable as you felt, shifting awkwardly in his chair, glancing around like he was worried someone might spot him talking to you.

“Do you like Sirius?” He asked suddenly and you scoffed, taking your head.

“No?”

“What about Remus?” You looked at him, blinking a few times before shaking your head. Where was he going with this?

“No,” James nodded his head, playing with his hands that were resting on the table.

“Peter?” He continued and you barked out a loud laugh, earning a glare from a few Ravenclaws sitting a few tables away. Potter shushed you and you flushed slightly, grinning as you shook your head.

“Definitely not.” You assured, rolling your eyes. “Why the interrogation?” You asked and he shrugged his shoulders looking away from you. When he finally looked back you were still staring at him and he flushed slightly, balling his fists up.

“So why do you flirt with them?” He asked, “And not-” He cut himself off, unclenching his fists and laying his hands flat on the table, “Why?” You considered the question with rosy cheeks.

“I dunno, Potter, it’s fun?” You offered as an answer but it came out as a question.

“It’s not fun to flirt with me?”

“Why do you care? You hate me.”

“I do not.” You looked at him funny.

“Coulda fooled me.” You stated and he looked down at his hands. You were quiet for a moment, waiting for him to get up and leave. But he didn’t. “Why do you care?” You repeated, James looked at you and shrugged his shoulders.

“I don’t.”

“Okay.”

“Okay,” He repeated.

“Fine.”

“Fine,” He was getting annoyed and you smirked slightly, causing him to let out a small laugh.

“You’re infuriating.” He decided and your smirk turned into a wide grin.

“Thanks, love.” The word fell out of your mouth before you could think better of it and you both blushed furiously.

“Do you like me?” He asked suddenly and you dropped your quill in shock.

“What?” James held your gaze but you could tell he wanted to look away.

“I said, do you like me?” He puffed his chest out slightly and ran a hand through his messy black curls. You looked at him, trying to decide if you wanted to lie or not.

“I don’t... not like you.” You offered. He nodded his head, tongue poking out to lick over his lips, and you watched the movement, afraid if you moved the moment would be broken and he would be gone.

“Right. Right. Well, I don’t, erm, not like you either.” He responded and you looked at him with wide eyes.

“Right.”

“So...”

“So?” He repeated, as you both sat there, cheeks red.

“What... What now?” You asked and James shrugged slightly, looking helpless. He ran his fingers through his hair again and you wanted to reach out and touch his soft curls.

“Do you want to go to Hogsmeade with me next weekend?” The question came out rushed and all at once. It took you a minute to process it, and for a moment he thought you weren’t going to answer before finally you nodded your head.

“Alright.” James’ face broke into a grin and he nodded his head, standing up from the table.

“Brilliant. I will see you then.”

“We have class together tomorrow.”

“Right,” He nodded, standing in front of you, “Then I’ll see you then.” He waved and turned to walk away before stopping and coming back to you, you raised an eyebrow when he pointed a finger at you, eyes shining slightly in a way he had never looked at you before. “Stop flirting with my mates.” He stated and you smirked, laughing.

“Alright, deal.”

“Good, see you tomorrow, Y/N.”

“See ya James.”

#Harry Potter #James Potter #James Potter x reader #james potter x yn #james potter x you #request

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alicanta77 · 3 years

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hmm how abt an angsty blurb for jeno with the title "why not?"

You were fifteen when Jeno first asked you to dance. You told him no, knowing that you had two left feet and the nerves were already controlling you enough with you not being on that dance floor. But then he asked you one simple question: why not? And it felt as though all your reasons went out the window and all you could do was smile and nod. He'd led you out onto the dance floor, held you tightly in his arms and made you feel as though you were the only person who mattered.

You were sixteen when Jeno asked you to be his girlfriend. You hadn't replied, shock and fear taking over you until he uttered two words. Why not? Those two words transported you back to that moment where the world fell away and it was just you and Jeno dancing under those lights. With that memory in your mind, you slipped your hand into his before agreeing with a laugh.

You were seventeen when you had your first argument. Doubts clouding both your minds as you tried to navigate your way through the scary world of dating for the first time. While it had been easy with Jeno beside you, you had no idea what to do when he was in front of you not letting you move, and Jeno felt the same about you. Jeno had begged for you to trust him, and you'd said that you couldn't. Then he'd asked that one question, why not? And once again, the world fell away. Life stopped for the longest second of your life as your brain tried to come up with one logical reason as to why you shouldn't trust him. You fell into his arms, trusting that he would catch you, and he did. He always did, he only wouldn't on the day when you didn't let him.

You were eighteen when you left him. That stage of your life was over and, even though you weren't ready to live without him, you didn't have a choice. You were moving away. High school had ended and the two of you had worked yourselves to death to get into these colleges, even though it meant leaving each other behind. But saying goodbye was the hardest thing that you had ever had to do.

"Stay." Jeno begged, his arms still tightly wrapped around your waist.

You shook your head, breathing in his scent and praying that you wouldn't forget it.

"Why not?" Your heart stopped at his question, the question that normally made you reevaluate everything, that brought you back to him, back to the first time you danced together.

"I don't have a reason." You whispered.

"Then stay." He pleaded, but you shook your head again.

"I can't."

"Why not?" He asked once more, and hearing it again was like a punch to the heart as all the memories of the past three years rushed through your head, a painful reminder of everything you'd be giving up on.

"I don't have a reason. And sometimes, you don't need one. I can't stay, and you know I can't stay and we're fooling ourselves if we think we'll ever be happy if we both gave up what we've worked so hard for. I want to stay, I want to stay so much because I love you more than I ever knew was possible. But I can't, and deep down you know that. You're not staying for me, and I can't stay for you."

Jeno shut his eyes, the tears finally escaping as he accepted the harsh reality that it was over. The reality that the most important person in his life was moving away from him and he may never see them again. He pulled away from you, leaning in to place a final kiss on your forehead before allowing you to get in the car. He stayed where he was, watching as you drove out of sight and, once you disappeared around the corner, allowed himself to collapse to the pavement, letting out all his emotions in one voice shattering scream.

You were twenty two when you saw him again, entering at the coffee shop the two of you used to go to. You stood up, pushing your chair away from the rustic tables as he turned to look towards the sound. You were the only other person in there, making it easy for him to find you and, the second your eyes connected you felt fifteen again. You felt the same butterflies that you had felt when he'd approached you and asked to dance. And here he was, walking towards you once more.

"It's been a while y/n." He said, standing about a meter from you and yet that distance felt like miles. You nodded in response, before gesturing towards the till.

"Let me buy you a coffee, for old times sake." You offered, silently praying that he would want to catch up.

"I can't, I shouldn't really stay." Jeno said, smiling sadly at you as you tilted your head and looked up at him.

"Why not?”

#ok its not fully angst and im sorry about that #but i wanted it to have some more closure #jeno imagines #lee jeno imagines #jeno angst #lee jeno angst #nct imagines #nct dream imagines #nct angst #nct dream angst #nct x reader #nct dream x reader #jeno x reader #jeno scenarios

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papers4me · 3 years

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Fruits Basket,Se03, Ep 8 (part 2)

I finally got my answer on how will kyo’s confession of kyoko will be & how tohru will react. I love the writing, the pacing, the monologue, the dialogue, the facial expressions, tohru’s reaction, kyo’s rejection & tohru’s shock. Even yuki & akito’s involvement! All of it was a chef’s kiss!

I went & watched lots of eps of se01 & 2 & I’m loving all the hints they dropped abt kyo & how his trauma was looming over him all. this. damn. time! Unfortunately, it has reminded me of how much tohru’s own character exploration was diminished in favor of her being the angelic mother & the sohma’s fixer! but moving on & focusing on her shining moment now! I’ll explore her character here with regards of her trauma, real hidden character & future development.

Kyo’s rejection is the best thing that has ever happened to tohru:

(don’t hate me before you read!) XD~ just like you, I’m mad at kyo for hurting tohru & I feel her pain. However, the writer didn’t write this with a sadistic desire to hurt us. Kyo’s rejection is the core of the entire story as it is not only connected to kyo’s trauma, but tohru’s growth & yuki’s emotional involvement with the two, as well as akito’s insecurities. I have explained in my review( part 1) how kyo rejecting tohru was a logical progression of kyo’s trauma, the only possible outcome from his perspective, & the themes tied with such decision. Now, I’ll explain why this rejection is good for tohru in the long run:

1. Showing the hidden ugly side: (The timid, shy, self-sacrificing girl is angry!): Tohru’s entire consciously constructed personality is borrowed from elements in her mom & dad’s life:

She mimicked her dad’s overly polite style to prove that she is indeed his daughter, so her mom won’t be called w*ore & to console her mom, so she wont leave her. She has deep low self-worth issues. I gotta become someone else to be loved.

she has inner fear of bringing shame to her mom’s name, wants to always be the good girl so mom’s get praised for raising her. Thus, hiding ugly aspects such as anger, loud voice & frustration.

She wants to prove that her mom chose right by not neglecting her. wishes to be worth needing & loving for her own self.

All she ever wanted since being a 4 year old child is her mom. No other desire for anything else at all. Since her mom’s death, she’s been lost on what to do, who to be, what to want! then it came to her to stick to her mom’s memory & live for her. Living for a dead person is a self-sacrifice decision. Tohru just didn’t see herself outside of her mom’s influence.

Ever since meeting kyo, he has been encouraging real aspects of her character: be selfish, complain, cry, get mad, yell, look pathetic, expose unflattering thoughts, show undesirable side, ask for things, no, DEMAND things. She has been reluctantly following his advice & only showing that to him. His confession & inability to accept her love has lead her to show the real hidden tohru behind the “ i’m okay” mask:

The timid, always smiling girl is now showing anger, frustration, stubbornness & determination.

screaming her heart out: “ i don’t believe my mom would say that” stating her opinion in firm voice.

“even if she did, I have to go against her” the real tohru shows her explosive personality that was buried deep down! it is NOT mom’s life anymore. It is MINE. I decide. I choose. I want. My decisions.

“ why can’t you see that?” argues with him. Tohru, who is soft-spoken & tends to get flustered when others insist, is now questioning his decision with passion & fierceness!

“ I love you no matter what”. Say what toy want. look at yourself as a monster, a murderer, a loser or a coward. I don’t care what your brain or trauma makes you think. I see the real YOU & it is my decision! I love you ugly & pretty, sad & happy, broken or strong, coward or brave. I take it all & no one is fooling me or changing my mind. I’m my own person & I chose YOU.

2. Letting go of attachments: Learning to LIVE:

Tohru’s attachment to her mom isn’t healthy. It’s toxic as it hinders her from being her own person. To be able to love kyo, she lets go of “ listening to mommy’s words” . Apparently, her mom condemned kyo as unforgivable. Tohru knows the real kyo & doesn’t even care for forgiveness despite her mom’s alleged words. Breaking the toxic bond. She formed a healthier bond with kyo. However, if kyo is unable to accept this love. what would tohru do? die?? kill herself?? kyoko wasn't able to continue to love her husband cuz he died. her reaction was neglecting her daughter & roaming away in utter grief. Tohru mustn’t follow her mom’s example. Not all loved ones leave us out of hate. Some leave each other cuz of death (kyoko/tohru), ( kyoko/ katsuya), Others might leave each other out of current traumatic pain, mental health, emotional hindrance despite loving each other so dearly (kyo/tohru). If kyo despite his immense love to tohru, can’t forgive himself, they won’t be together. tohru can cry, scream, yell, but if he doesn't overcome his issues & come back, tohru gotta let go. She gotta learn to let go & not kill herself over what she cant have.

Kyo, on the opposite, gotta learn to hold on to loved ones! Let go of pain but hold on to real ppl not dead ghosts of the past. He must learn to act on his own desire & need for tohru. Only when he forgives himself, he’ll hold on to her. It is then, that tohru will decide again if she’ll have him or not.

3- Wanting things doesn't mean you WILL have them: (You are enough by yourself- moderation)

tohru wants kyo, the first thing she has ever wanted. However, she won’t automatically get him just because she now learned to demand things. There are obstacles that can stop that. Tohru must accept kyo’s inability to be with her now & live healthily regardless. This ties to akito as well. She wants the zodicas but she cant have them! Emotional distance separate them. What will akito do if she can’t have what she wants? kill kurno? kill tohtru? kill herself? will this bring the zodiacs back? NO. You are enough by yourself. She needs to let go & learn to accept that love means acceptance between the involved parties, emotional connection isn't enough.

-Realistic depiction of romantic relationship progression: (thro better & worse). EPIC writing!

It is indeed fate that brought tohru back in kyo’s path 4 months after her mom’s death & the they do share a mutual past: kyoko. However, fervor grateful to the author for writing them falling in love together isn’t due to fate, coincidence, mutual past or similar personalities. Kyo consciously avoided tohru while tohru herself struggled to understand kyo initially. The author spend valuable time building their romantic relation based on mundane daily life activities. They themselves don’t quite know when exactly that they fell in love. when they recalled falling in love, we see them cooking together, talking, walking, eating, studying & opening up abt small struggles.

It is genius that the writer will add yet another realistic aspect. While kyo was able to read tohru & approach her when she’s down, this doesn't mean he magically understood her & will forever be on the same page & never ever hurt each other at all. If you fell in love, you are bound to be hurt by the person who loves you back as much as be happy together. It is realistic!!! Adding miscommunication & personality differences enrich the relationship. This relationship isn’t just fluffy & lovey dovey. They have realistic issues that they need to work on by communicating. Even communication wont solve their quarrel if it isn’t done in the right time & with the right desire to connect.

-The weight & future lessons learned from of “ I’m disappointed in you” for both kyo & tohru:

Right now kyo is too emotional to connect & tohru herself is too emotional to understand his response. Tohru understands his pain but her low self-esteem prevents her from seeing that he is rejecting being loved , not rejecting her. He is not rejecting tohru as a person but rejecting kyo as a person deserving love. Thanks to his “ i’m disappointed in you” which really leaves no room for interpretation from tohru’s perspective. I love that!!!! Kyo isn’t good with words. This has been clear from ep 1, his actions has always been his love language, but now he couples bad words “ i’m disappointed in you” with bad actions: running away. This is a perfect opportunity to build their future relationship on a solid foundation: ( off course I’m not belittling their current emotions, I understand why each is very broken now, but I’m talking abt future learning lessons)

Kyo’s current mistake: While him rejecting tohru is justified by the extreme trauma & is logical from his perspective. This doesn’t mean it isnt’t hurtful to her. He chose hurtful words to push her away mimicking how he pushed her in the true form arc. Perfect example of justified mistake yet still a wrong mistake. Thus, kyo needs to learn the effect of his words, he shouldn’t be punished for the past, for tings her cant control, nor for fate. But he should take responsibilities of the present, of what he actually says & does right now. He must fix this mistake with tohru. This is a mistake that CAN be fixed. someone that he CAN get back. a mistake he CAN stop repeating.He CAN hold on to her with immense desire yet allow room for her to decide for herself.

Tohru’s current mistake: Seeing herself solely thro being loved by kyo. she cant see that he indeed loves her cuz he rejected her. Rejection in tohru’s mind equal lack of love. Her mom left her, thus her mom didnt love her. This respective is very justified due to her trauma, & it is logical that she reached this conclusion. She isnt in his head, she cant know whats in his heart if his words say sth else. However, having a logical perspective doesn't mean it is right. it is still wrong to solely exist thro what you can see & hear. Real emotions run deeper. We must take things with moderate approach. Tohru needs to have higher self-esteem, to allow room for misunderstanding without completely breaking down. In her future life, she’ll be in lots of situations where ppl could hurt her intentionally or unintentionally. She needs to take things with calmer pace & open the door in her mind for doubt & better judgement. As much as loved ones words hurt, to build a healthy relationship, you must leave room for communication & misunderstanding. Hence, you’ll get closer & closer.

Side Notes:

I love tohru’s faulty attachment thro only being loved back exactly as she pictures in her mind. it is so human, so real, & so endearing! Very opposite of se01 & 2 image of her being the wise, device-giving mother with right thing to say & do. Screw that unrealistic image! allow tohru to be real! best ep ever! Hopefully, no more of this tohru!

Kyo’s constant repeat of mistakes is the best character trope done right! so realistic. It is genius that the author used this trope to humanize the demonic cat spirit!! what screams human better than the most annoying human trait: repeating mistakes!!!! Kyo, my son! it’s time to learn! cant wait to see how the author will do that.

young boy/ adult woman friendship? Was that ever made without disgusting sexualizion? kyoko isnt much of a mom figure to kyo, she tells me abt a husband, child neglect mistakes, custody! he calls her old hag & pushes her! XD. it is friendship!!

i’m mad they didnt focus on tohru’s face when she screamed at kyo confessing her love.. that's tohru moment. Why pan on yuki? you could’ve showed his reaction after she spoke. The same thing was done when tohru confessed to Isuzu!-_-! loved her angry face tho, it was beautifully drawn, so thanks for that. XD

Yuki is forever the best tohru/kyo shipper & the best tohru-happiness defender. I love how he runs after kyo & yet checks on tohru! I’m curious tho, he didnt hear any of kyo/kyoko confession as he was asleep, only the the “ forgive/not forgive line” so, he’ll be wondering forgive what? tohru’s mom knows kyo? I’m excited on how they’ll put things into context. also, I LOVE YUKI.

I’m forever thankful that everything akito is pushed into next ep. The knife wielding action & akito’s dramatic outbursts would’ve stolen from the emotional weight of kyo’s confession. Kyo’s secret is the core of furuba since ep, 1, the entire dynamics of kyo/tohru/yuki /kyoko/ hat is established based on this ep. Shoving akito, too, would create the same annoying train bullet feeling of momiji’s & tohru’s ep (ep 5 & 6). Emotional scenes pushed together with lesser time for the respective characters to have their well-deserved focus.

This is the most I am attached & satisfied with furuba! it scares me since ep 9 continues the climax. My fears of potential dramatic animation since the knife is there! moreover, akito’s own animation is always over the top. I hope they tone it down to portray her as a human more than a maniac.

Also, I hope they dont drag the climax more than that. What more you can shove in the dramatic raining weather. Tohru/kyo scene here matched the true arc scene bringing back parallel. Now akito/tohru raining scene next ep will match se02, ep10 scene. Now, what will the author do to defuse the climax? Often writing the falling action is harder than the climax itself. Falling action doesnt mean happy times & solving issues. It means dealing with the consequences of the climax. Let’s see what the writer has in store.

Based on the flashbacks, Kyoko didnt have ill feelings with kyo!!!! Until the last time he saw her as a child, she was happy with him. Even when he pushed her, she took it as a childlike behavior. at the accident, she didnt have much time to have any ill feelings. No way she thought he pushed her, no way she thought he could’ve saved her. So if she really recognized him, why would she say “ I wont forgive you”? it doesnt make sense at all. Kyoko doesn't hate kyo!!!! So, either he imagined, which is sth that I’ll hate so much! I spent so much emotions attached to a non existant words! NO. plz! NO!! Other possibility, she said sth else closer to the words! but then again how would we know? I NEED to know! ~ as expected, I’m still attached to this damn line! XD.

Kyo depressed in the mountains after kyoko’s death was very vaguely referenced in (1) se01, ep24 when kyo talked to kazuma! oh shoot! (2) in se02, sp 2 when kazuma thought back to kyo nearly killing himself in depression before meeting the dad, (3) in se02, ep 9 when kyo trampled on the flower! oof! i love this subtle style of writing! connecting the emotional dots! EPIC!

Various characters throut seasons 1, 2 & 3 noticed the real gentle kyo towards tohru: (1) Isuzu’s “ I hope tohru meets someone like haru, to gently open the door” se02, ep19. (2) Momiji having faith that kyo is the right person for tohru & pushing him, (3) yuki constantly musing over tohru/kyo love & drawing inspiration on wanting “ his own person to love like them” (3) Kisa saying kyo is kind to tohru se3, (4) shigure saying, you are exclusively kind to tohru se02, (5) Airisa saying, when will kyo confess in se01, (6) hana saying, marry my sister in the play & pushing him to not be locked! (7) yuki kicking him for saying “ its not your business” to tohru in kyoto trip, (8) kakeru saying “ kyo’s her boyfriend? “ AA~~~~ the whole cast know & can see his love to her!!! TOHRU! He doesnt hate you! KYO!! the entire cast thinks you DESERVE HER & is KIND! not a monster! Is there an image set of those moments of the cast saying that here in tumblr? kindly mention me to see it! I fear going to the tags & seeing spoilers T_T.

#Fruits Basket #Anime Only #Tohru Honda #kyo sohma #happy paper #final season #part 2

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halfhappyhooligan · 4 years

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a voltron au? in 2020? it’s more likely than you think

look. LOOK. i know that voltron is stupid and we hate it but lets be honest: everything up until season 3 was pretty good and had lots of potential !!

today i was rewatching voltron and a thought struck me: what if, instead of shiro being cloned, he was chipped and turned to the side of the galra?

so here it is, i did not blink since i thought of this

(warning, i have not seen voltron in a while and this is just knowledge i have stored in my moss brain and stuff i know from rewatching the first season)

au where shiro goes evil bc of what happens @ end of season one instead of the clone thing bc 1) haggar rly could not have made thousands of shiros after bumping into team voltron like what twice? its hella improbable and 2) just… weird

so instead they insert a chip in him that helps them spy and control him just like kuron (the clone) did minus the unlikely storytelling

eventually after the convo with sendak when he was in the pod trying to temp shirp, he does have thoughts about helping zarkon

(“im already infiltrated with the arm, i could just speed up the process by leaving now. save the team the trouble of investing in a leader that’s doomed to fail from the strart.”)

shiro ends up leaving team voltron in season 2 after zarkon goes crazy w the black lion n stuff

^^ this adds to Keith’s reasoning of joining the Blade of Marmora (shiro is his main stability and one of the main reasons he even stuck around with team voltron, so with shiro gone and keith questioning his place as the leader and paladin of the black lion, he decides the BoM is just.. what’s best for him)

obviously lance isn’t happy with this (“you just told me that i’m a valuable member, now you don’t think YOU are? what logic is that?”)

ofc keith goes anyways

lance becomes paladin of the black lion

allura takes on the red lion

who has blue lion? ...idk this isn’t that thought out (maybe matt after pidge finds her family) (which will happen earlier in the plot since we can forget about the miniplot of black no longer responding to shiro)

enter lotor only this time he has a sidekick and what omg its shiro wow

shiro has that bigger version of his arm that was once offered to him

he’s stronger and scary, but his eyes aren’t the same, he has the strength of a galra but lacks the passion

in the fight between lotor and zarkon, (and after, of course lots of self doubt and questioning) shiro comes between them and convinces lotor NOT to kill zarkon

then zarkon kills lotor

everyones like oh shit bc surely someone who’s life was just spared wouldn’t kill the person who seems to have the most power

but he did. bc he’s zarkon. and he’s fckn crazy.

shiro doesn’t go back to team voltron bc its too much too easily

instead he takes the place of lotor in the group of gals

he convinces them all to rebel against the galra

eventually they teach him all about quintessence and all the shit lotor had planned that they can’t do anymore

(lotor wasn’t harvesting alteans in this universe bc what the heck even was that subplot that had little to no relevance to the main storyline?

instead he was trying to find a way to technologically bring back alteans (kinda like how allure’s dad was originally preserved in s1)

i know nothing about How Stuff Works and i dont remember much about quintessence n shit but the basic idea is that when tying in some of a persons artifacts with technology stuff and some quintessence then boom. a weird route from astral projection land to the team is created and ppl can come back or smth idfk

but lotor was never able to get the comet so shiro decides he and the gals will get that comet and try to bring back as many alteans as they can

^ all this while infiltrating as many galra fleets as possible + saving planets under galra empire

they personally visit every planet that lotor was in charge of and release them from galra control

they are able to bring back an altean (its romelle) and she talks abt her friend who lives on the balmera and they go to the balmera and its revealed that it was shay’s great grandmother so romelle asks where shay is and shay’s family is like with team voltron of course

they take her

obviously team voltron, the BoM and the Rebels r very hesitant to make contact but they decide to try it out

keith refuses to meet, instead he’s on the team that stands guard

reunions !!

romelle and shay hit it off and hunk makes a dinner much like roselle’s past (allura and coran also hang out and they all vibe)

lance talks to shiro abt everything to do with keith and shiro is like dude do u??? like him?

and lance is like what? no ofc not—oh shit.

and keith ✨overhears ✨

pidge matt and shiro catch up n shit

meanwhile keith is like Hey Lance Uhhhhhh What The Fuck

they end up being like hey since we’re all here and we hate zarkon what if we make a plan to end the galra’s reign Right Now

so they do

and y’all.. it’s hella baller plan

except something is going wrong and in the middle of an attack zarkon is able to get the upper hand

due to haggar’s magic and lance’s mental and emotional instability, zarkon is able to get in his head

everyone is trying to talk him down but they’re all under a lot of pressure

allura is also conflicted bc she wanted to be black lion bc she wanted to rub it in to zarkon’s face that she was stronger than he and that she could beat him at his own game

but the negativity and instability feeds into zarkon’s power and makes him and haggar stronger as they pull in voltron to finally take over the team and regain their status as the most powerful alien race

hunk realizes this and is like okay can y’all stop being negative? its clearly affecting them in a good way and it makes us an easier target

and pidge is like im literally a child pls i don’t wanna die i just got my family back it can’t end like this

shiro realizes what’s going on and he goes to save them

he uses all his energy, pulling in the positive memories (everything: first learning about space, becoming a teacher, meeting adam, meeting keith, first making team voltron, his friends and family--all of it) to push back zarkon and haggar’s powers and battle once more in the astral realm

in defeating zarkon, shiro loses his life

afterwards keith enters the ship in a hurry and is like where the fuck is shiro where’s my brother what did you do what happened

and team voltron is like hey man.. we are so so sorry

and keith cries because the last thing he ever said to shiro was mean

lance feels like its all his fault since he was supposed to be a good leader

they talk about separately while hunk pidge and allura discuss

krolia is like keith we, ur family, are here for u

and axca is there and shes like um?? hey?? sry for trying to kill u bro

and he’s like i absolutely do not wanna talk i just lost my closest friend

they talk about it later

axca tells keith abt shiro finishing lotor’s work and abt bringing people back and well..

they use the methods to help keith visit shiro in the astral realm

shiro is like oh uh hey i was just having a drink w adam we r happy

and keith is like shiro u fuckhead why would u sacrifice urself

shiro sighs bc cmon keith you KNOW why “remember what i always said? we can’t focus on what went wrong..”

“we’ve got to figure out how to make it right” keith finishes

keith breaks tf down crying and screams apologizing

“i love u shiro. ur a like a big brother to me.”

and shiro is like yeah i know and ilyt but hey. everyone’s safe and happy. im safe and happy. & you deserve to be too. you don’t need me anymore.

so the galra rule is over and everyone goes to their respected planets

romelle and the other alteans as well as some galra babes hang in earth

romelle and shay r in an apartment together and have a garden

allura realizes she may not have been the strongest leader for voltron, and couldn’t stop zarkon on her own but that physical strength doesn’t define her as a whole

her heart is strong enough to care for everyone, so thats what she does

allura starts running an inn for alteans filled with painted sceneries like altea in case anyone ever needs a reminder of home

when lance reunites with his family its a real tearjerker

rachel finally gets her jacket back and veronica is like So.. Axca 👀

the McClain’s host a huge party for everyone and it’s filled with lots of hugs and loud music and even tho lance was way too tired, he danced all night

he wouldn’t trade his family for the world—genetic and chosen

when hunk reunites with his parents they don’t let him out the house for hours, he tells them all about his new best friend shay as well as hundreds of his favorites stories from space

they are so, so proud of him

hunk spends the next days playing minecraft and animal crossing with pidge, giving their brains a rest from being on hyperdrive for 3 yrs straight

when pidge gets home she finally gets grounded by her mom, only being allowed to leave the house to see her old teammates

(same for matt and her dad)

(her mother cries so hard when they opened the door to the home)

the holt family holds movie nights filled with popcorn, cuddles, and tears

keith moves in with the holt family, and finally accepts that he has a home as well as a family

he often goes on trips with the BoM but mostly just stays on earth

after a Team Voltron sleepover in the altea inn keith and lance decide to get an apartment together and live their lives in love and in peace

everyone gets together once a year in celebration of shiro and the sacrifice he made for them

they use the ship to visit Astral Shiro and once they even met adam

everyone laughs and catches up and just... live their lives

everyone is happy

pls ignore any and all errors lmao

again, just a thought !! maybe i’ll write a fic abt it idk for sure but yeah

feel free to add anything <3

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justphilia · 4 years

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More Claw!Teru, its all I've been thinking about for hours (Nap)

HI I’M JUST GONNA WORD DUMP

(ooohhhh I have italics and bold this is funnnn oh MAN focus focus okay here we GO)

Alright so Teru went with Claw when they first showed up - well and good, I like this, of course he would! His parents don’t want him and Claw thinks he’s special, worthy of joining their cause, so Teru’s got just. a massive ego, huge, astronomical ego.

Something I thought of: Teru as a Scar. Muraki’s a Scar, right? It serves to reason that Teru would be too, which means he definitely picked a fight with the Boss, and I’ll touch on that later for sure

Where’s his specific scar, though? Teru is strong, he’s smart, but he’s got too much pride for his own good. He probably picked a fight with all the 7th Division Scars and, even as a kid (9-10yrs old? Not sure tbh anyway) I’m willing to bet that he outwitted several of the less experienced Scars. That’ll get him sent right up to the top, or even if it didn’t go down that way -

(let’s say that Touichiro made the rounds to all the Divisions, he stops at the 7th and wants to see the new “recruits”. Teru’s told that he’s the Boss, but surely if this guy’s the boss, and he’s already beat up the other adults, he’d be able to take him on too, right?

I’d like to think he put up a good fight.)

- Teru’s got a Scar that runs the length of his scalp, from his hairline, up and over, back down to the base of his skull. In canon, his hair getting shaved was covered up by a wig, and the same happens here. Naturally, its the exact same wig as canon (taller, perhaps? Claw certainly wouldn’t care) although I’m a bit fuzzy on how he loses it. (Reigen, maybe? After the power transfer, that would make sense)

Skipping way ahead here, closer to Mogami and World Domination.

Reigen’s taken Teru in, and he’s (reluctantly) sticking around. Reigen forces him to enroll in school, or else he’d have to stay and work at S&S all day. Teru adamantly refuses, only on the grounds of “the commoners don’t deserve my help, besides, they all stared at me the one time I stayed all day with you."

But twist: Teru doesn’t live anywhere near Black Vinegar now (since he’s with Reigen) and ends up going to the same school as Shigeo.

This works out, in a weird way, because Teru knows how strong Shigeo is. He fought him once and very nearly lost (cue big ramble abt how losing to Touichiro wouldn’t have humbled him in any way bc Claw literally runs on being a bunch of smug dorks and how it was losing to Reigen instead [Reigen had the full force of Shigeo’s 100%, and while not ???%, it certainly is quite a lot of power regardless] that kickstarted Teru’s humbling process) and the biggest question on his mind is the one that HQ’s little redhead lapdog brought up.

Why didn’t Shigeo use his powers?

So Teru spends his time at school following Shigeo around, trying to understand. He’s decided to become his friend - if friend is even the word he can use.

He tutors the Awakening kids at Ritsu’s insistence (because for all of Ritsu’s own flaws, he recognizes when someone is stronger than him), because Ritsu was barely able to keep them safe on his own, and Teru intimately knows what Claw can do. Ritsu wants to make sure his friends can protect themselves, just in case. Teru uses it as an excuse to flex his powers a bit.

Ritsu’s still bitter about the kidnapping, and it makes Teru feel a little guilty. He’s apologized, kinda, because Reigen’s been slowly knocking morals and ethics into his head and Teru does sorta feel bad for causing so many problems, but he’s still struggling with the empathy of it all.

I want Teru to go with Reigen and Shigeo to confront Mogami. I don’t even know what that would entail, but he goes along because Reigen’s logic of "two psychics are better than one” has merit. Shit happens. The aftermath is that Teru is right there when Shigeo wakes up, and presses much harder than Reigen did to find out exactly what happened while Shigeo was stuck in Mogami-land.

Lots of vague plot bunnies later, Shigeo confides in Teru and somehow it finally clicks for Teru exactly why Shigeo is the way he is, and why Teru wasn’t really so different from Minori in the beginning (just in a different environment), and how badly he needs to change if he’s ever going to really become Shigeo’s friend.

(Joke’s on Teru - Shigeo’s considered him a friend for awhile. Teru gets along well with Tome, and helps him workout, and with his homework, and agrees that Captain Musashi is cool [Teru is still a helpless gay, let him have crushes], and is helping his Shishou with work - of course he’s his friend, what else would he be?)

WORLD DOMINATION TIME

Teru’s at home (Reigen’s apartment) when Claw attacks. The biggest difference is that it’s a much bigger fight - instead of four, they sent a dozen, because they already knew (even moreso than before) what he’s capable of.

I’m torn between Teru staying and fighting tooth-and-nail for this new life he’s created (because it’s so much better than Claw - he’s fed, has hobbies, he has real friends, a home, even a kinda-dad in Reigen) or the mess of Claw agents shows up, and Teru goes with them.

Teru knows how strong Touichiro is. He knows how strong the Ultimate 5 are. He fought them. So instead, we have a Teru who’s weighing his self-preservation (and fear of failure) against his anger towards these adults who thoroughly traumatized him. (I have ideas, but they’re scattered and would take awhile to make even remotely coherent)

Long story short, at the end of it all, Teru kicks Shimazaki’s ass with minimal help, and it’s only when his pride catches up to him (because it does - that’s something Claw!Teru has a much harder time with) that he starts to lose the fight. He gets backup in the form of the 7th Division and Ritsu (who’s lowkey begruding about it, but Teru’s protecting them, he can’t just not help) (OR instead Ritsu actually goes with Shou to confront his father because Teru’s got it under control - gimme that scenario, hit me with an instant 100% Shigeo because Ritsu got hurt again and this needs to stop now.)

idk that’s all I got for now, thank u for listeninggggg time to go run errands and work on some hardcore angst that’s distracting me from all my other projects againnnn~~ ≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾ Happy noises because look I can finally use a boarder.

(Side note: Apparently when you use the submit box, I can see your email, it won’t show when I post this but I just wanna drop a heads up)

Teru going back to Claw during World Dom would be a big OUCH if it happens, which gives me an idea; Teru going back to Claw so he can destroy it on the inside. He pretends he’s joining back but ends up betraying Claw.

So he’s told to keep watch at the front with Shimazaki right, and Ritsu’s there and Ritsu’s just: “TERU WE TRUSTED YOU.”

Plot twist, it’s okay, because right when Shima’s about punt my emo son, Teru immediately does his betrayal.

And when Shige comes over, for a moment, he thinks Teru’s back to being bad so he gets angsty until Teru looks up and he’s like; “You’re here!”

#Nap #mob psycho 100 #mp100 #reigen arataka #hanazawa teruki #kageyama shigeo #kageyama ritsu #submission

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criminal-hotch · 4 years

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a bittersweet ‘what if’ - a moreid oneshot, kinda

this is basically a small snapshot from spencer’s pov on his feelings for derek and how his relationship w him has changed over the years. i’m on the season eight finale so all information abt seasons nine - fifteen that may be included in here are from what’s been spoiled for me lmao. and the procedure mentioned in here was pulled out of my ass and i have no idea if its even possible so pls don’t rely on that information for anything.

read it on ao3 here

constructive criticism and advice is always appreciated! ty <3

Spencer knew it was absolutely irresponsible to harbor feelings for one of his coworkers, much less his alpha-male-smoking-hot-babe-magnet-coworker. The logical part of his brain knew it was stupid and reckless, he spent most of his time with a bunch of profilers for gods sake but he didn't find himself completely rejecting the idea of himself with the other man.

He couldn't even recall when it had started, he just remembered looking over at Morgan one night when they had stayed late at work, finishing up some files and thinking he was the most beautiful thing Spencer had ever laid eyes on. All dark skin and gleaming eyes, his brow furrowed and small creases etched into his forehead as he stared intently at the words on the paper in front of him. Spencer wanted to hold him, wanted to kiss away the frustration but he knew he couldn't do that. You couldn't just do something like that .

"Hey Reid," Morgan had said, never moving his eyes from the page. "You know what this means?" He had picked up the paper, holding it up for Spencer to see and pointed to some words at the bottom of it.

Spencer cleared his throat and then read the file in front of him. "Yeah it's basically this procedure for your foot where they remove part of the bone after it's broken off. It takes approximately 8 hours and costs roughly 800-"

Morgan had nodded, not letting the other man finish and with a simple "thanks Reid," returned back to his work.

Spencer had narrowed his eyes at Morgan. This wasn't his usual behavior, he almost never cut Reid off, especially when he was answering a question. Spencer cut it down to him being tired. He knew the large workload and endless cases took its toll on all members of the team but the small thoughts in the back of his head challenged that reason. It's because he can't stand you, he doesn't like your rambling and facts and statistics. He only puts up with you when he's around the team because he has to, the voice said. No, Spencer corrected himself. That's not it. Morgan's always nice and kind, even without the team. He's never like this, it's probably something else. You sure about that? The voice persisted and Reid was almost willing to smack himself in the face to get rid of it. He stopped himself though, he knew what that would look like to Morgan and he didn't want to annoy him anymore. Why would it matter what he thinks of you? He's your coworker, your friend and nothing more. And even with all the thoughts swarming around in his genius brain, he felt it in his gut that the reason he cared what the older man thought was because he liked him. He liked Derek Morgan.

It had been a bit of a shock at first and Reid was 89.52% sure his breathing had changed when he had experienced the idea but was absolutely sure Morgan hadn't noticed it, thank god. It was a bit easier to think about after a few minutes and he kinda realized it wasn't a new notion. He had always liked Morgan, even if it was only subconsciously.

Ever since that night in the bullpen, Spencer had been more careful around Morgan, never rambling for too long and always zoning out when he brought up a current girlfriend. It was easier to pretend he hadn't heard anything than to confront the twist in his gut and the bile rising in his throat, both symptoms of what he knew was classic jealousy. He knew he had to move on, this crush wasn't healthy and all it did was get in the way of his job. Instead of his mind being filled with ideas about the case, it was usually occupied with thoughts about Derek, thoughts that were a bit too inappropriate for work.

Slowly but surely, he started to get over Morgan. He had even met someone, a girl named Maeve. They talked via letters and phone booth calls and Reid felt the same feelings as before, this time for someone a bit more attainable. Everything would be perfect except for the fact that she was being stalked which definitely put a few obstacles in their relationship. Every night before the event, Reid dreamed of meeting her, of seeing her face, it wasn't until it was really happening that he wanted to take it back.

Maeve's death hit him like a truck. It took over his entire life, he couldn't think, he couldn't read, he couldn't process information and would stay staring at his blank walls for hours, the book she had given him wrapped in his arms. He didn't know what to do, didn't know how to act, didn't know how he would ever be able to move on but begrudgingly he allowed the team to help him. They cooked him meals, left him presents, hugged him, and held him as he cried into their shoulders, whispering promises into the crook of his neck that they would always be there for him.

The person who stayed by his side the most was Morgan. He would sometimes sleep over and Reid allowed him to take the couch. It was nice to have some company, even if most of their conversations were dry with pregnant pauses in between.

After a bit, Reid found himself getting better. He would eat at every meal instead of once or twice a day and when he worked on cases, he didn't feel the need to connect everything with Maeve. Now a brown haired victim was just a brown haired victim, not Maeve Donovan.

But moving on made Spencer feel guilty and every once in a while, he would spend the night by his toilet, bare legs shivering against the cold, stone floor as he emptied out the contents of his stomach. It was hard, grieving was hard, living was hard but Spencer worked through it. He had the team by his side and as the months went by, everything got easier and easier.

It was long after her death that Spencer started to accept the idea of moving on, of finding someone new, but as much as he didn't like the idea, his heart longed for someone from his past, Derek Morgan. Spencer felt like their relationship was really doing well, that maybe Derek could feel the same way. That was until Derek mentioned a girl named Savannah more than a few times. And it wasn't even the amount of times her name came up in conversation, it was Morgan's face when her name left his lips. His eyes lit up and a smile erupted on his face and as he went on and on about her, Spencer felt his stomach twist and he wanted to throw up again.

He knew it wasn't fair, Morgan was happy and Spencer should be happy for him. In their line of work it was hard to have relationships, much less maintain them for as long as Morgan was. But even with his coworker's upbeat mood and constant smiles, Spencer found himself wishing Morgan had never met Savannah. It was a horrible thought and one that he was greatly ashamed of, but that didn't change the fact that he had entertained it.

The thought came back to him on Morgan's wedding day. Spencer was the best man and as he looked over at the man he had known for so long, his coworker, his brother, and most importantly, his best friend, he was happy for him, proud of him. His little crush seemed insignificant, a bittersweet 'what if' but the thought, ever persistent, was still there. And Spencer Reid hated himself for it, because he had known from the start that it was absolutely irresponsible to harbor feelings for his coworker.

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thethirdwheel404 · 4 years

Text

Med Rewatch Series (#10)

S3 E10: Down By Law.

Episode Description: Dr. Manning sustains an injury while helping a drive-by victim and Dr. Rhodes finds himself in uncomfortable waters.

Connor being in ‘uncomfortable waters’? I can hear Ava bullying him already.

(also i wrote a little thing abt maggie giving ava a red bull so enjoy that little bit of content)

Let’s get into it.

-barry just yeeted natalie against a car holy shit that’s fucking hilarious

-will needs to chill the fuck out

-YESSSSS

-THIS WHERE CONNOR BRINGS THE WOMAN HE WENT OUT WITH UP FOR MEDICAL TREATMENT. AND THEN AVA HARASSES HIM FOR IT.

-this is one of the most iconic ava moments. (it’s first thing that pops up under the tumblr tag)

-ava overhearing connor not knowing his date’s last name. and ava walking over, already getting ready to make fun of him. barely concealing her smile

-the confidence with which she set down the file. she was too prepared and too excited

-this could just turn into a list of ava quotes

-”It must be hard, remembering all their names.”

“You know I read Derek Jeter used to send his conquests home with a gift basket. But a full cardio work up is... It’s much classier.”

-ava bekker secret baseball fan?

-Connor: “Jeter? You a baseball fan?”

Ava: “Oh, no. It’s much too boring. But I love gossip.”

-interesting. very, interesting... is it weird to anyone else to think about ava liking gossip?

-like the idea is fun and all but i hate the idea of ava being suuuper obsessed with gossip. it makes her seem way too shallow in my book. that being said, one of my hcs about women gossiping about all the shit men do to ava bc they know she’ll call them on it now has a lot more precedence

-i know she explicitly says that baseball is boring but i can’t get the idea of ava being a secret baseball fan out of my head. its just so novel

-HER SHIT EATING GRIN

- Connor: “Well, we will get you in and out of here as quickly as possible.”

Ava: “That’s what Dr. Rhodes is renowned for around here. Quick in and outs.”

Connor: *turns to her condescendingly*

Ava: *two finger salute* “I’m Dr. Bekker, by the way.”

-the lesbian icon jumped out

-also the fact that in the previous episode Ava’s mentor did the exact same salute. idk what it means but it’s not that important

-ava trying to hide her smile when asking the woman if she wanted them to contact her husband

-ava overhearing again when latham tells connor the woman he was with was doing cocaine

-ava smirking when connor says that he thinks the heart attack was from his sex and not the cocaine

-connor thinking he’s so good at sex he’s going to give this woman a heart attack

-he really drives All the ladies wild in EveryWay (sex, suicide. he’s the whole package)

-latham asking connor point blank “did you partake in the cocaine?”

-the ct team gives connor so. much. shit. it’s so funny

-also. ava just chillin at her desk looking at scans? that’s the kind of content i want to see. just her just being there. doing her own thing. that’s what i want

-THE GUY WITH A TEENAGE WIFE IS A REVEREND HOLY SHIT

-counting down the minutes til natalie drops dead (passes out but yk a girl can dream lol)

-sarah. back at it again with her rayon jacket and button up and backpack. the coffee cup only adds to the aesthetic

-connor being surprised that latham isn’t gonna let him do surgery on the women he fucked (twice, he might add)

- whatever you do, don’t think of a brown bear. are you thinking about it?

-maggie dealing red bull to people who need it. that’s a very soft idea

- ex:

Dr. Bekker is sitting at the desk in the ED. Well, sleeping, more like it. Her head is resting on her fist, her elbow precariously close to slipping off the the chair armrest, and her eyes open by just a hair.

“Dr. Bekker.”

Ava jolts awake.

“Maggie,” Ava says, strong accent cutting through, acknowledging the person standing over her. Hastily, she adjusts her jacket and scrubs, smoothing them back into place.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this tired.”

Ava shrugs, seamlessly slipping back into easy confidence.

“Rough couple of cases. Nothing I can’t handle.”

“Uh huh,” Maggie says, unbelieving.

She sets a can of Red Bull on the desk with a knowing look.

“You need this more than anybody.”

Ava scoffs. “Those things? They are murder on your heart, come on.”

Maggie hums and walks away. Ava watches her leave, and when she’s out of sight, Ava darts forward, grabs the energy drink, immediately cracking it open and downing half of it.

- anyway.

- @punksarahreese that’s on you for making me believe ava loves energy drinks

- let’s continue

- sarah looking at charles telling her not to do something: I am not going to do a thing you said

- go off babe. it was the wrong decision but go off

- all the nurses watching this guy call nat a bitch: 👀 👀 👀 👀

- will being like: god that guy called you a bitch i fucking hate him

- and natalie being like: he is also refusing to let us treat the 14 yr olds cancer but you obviously have priorities

- sarah is so logical. she’s good at talking to people. can you FUCKING IMAGINE IF SHE HAD BETTER GUIDANCE (oh and less trauma)

- this is also the one with that hilarious screen cap of sarah holding a knife

- the way she is so calm about handing this patient a knife gives me anxiety

- THIS SCENE IS SO HARD TO WATCH IT SCARES ME SO MUCH

- sarah just in alone in a room with a man who keeps having visions of stabbing his wife. and her just handing him a fucking knife oh my god i have too much anxiety for this

- rewatching the series and getting completely confused bc norma is 5′7″ but she looks so short next to colin and the guy who plays latham

- AND RACHEL IS ALSO 5′ 7″ BUT THEY BOTH LOOK SO SHORT - WHY EVERYONE ON THIS SHOW SO TALL

- anyway. ignore that that’s not important

- I... the parallels btwn sarah offering this guy the ability to slit her throat (for therapy) and ava cutting her throat... i don’t know what to do with this information

- idk but sarah holding the knife got me feelin some type of way

- the way connor looks at ava with such contempt bc she... does her job (and his but yk) especially during the hug wtf dude honestly just stop looking at her

- this is also the episode where ava pawns off the patient’s hug onto connor. while yeah, it could ava just being annoying to connor by forcing him to hug his one night stand’s husband, but she did give connor due credit. (and something to be said about her being confused and a tad uncomfortable when the patient hugs her, which is why she pawns it off to rhodes)

- she also doesn’t hug the guy back, which is kind of funny, she never moves her arms and just shrugs out of it

- and like after the hug she takes a few steps away from the guy, really not wanting any more physical contact or attention

- there’s something interesting in ava’s expression when connor gets hugged by the guy, can’t quite explain it. i’m gonna go with it’s her trying to keep a straight face while connor hugs a man he just helped a woman cheat on, but that’s not all of it so

- or. okay, I think i got it. i think that that little expression when connor gets hugged is her rolling her eyes at him getting credit when ava did most of the heavy lifting. yes. final answer. i’m satisfied

- and her looking away from them is her stopping herself from laughing, bc connor is obviously not enjoying this

- and he’s so sad and angsty he can’t even play along with the jokes

- and ava smiling at him with pity as she walks in to talk to the patient, bc that’s really what it is. she feels bad for him bc connor is so obviously lonely

- and connor’s annoyed bc ‘dammit she does have a right to pity me i suck rn’

- med pushing the women are tough agenda LITERALLY SHUT THE FUCK UP

- you hate your women characters so much just fucking shut your mouth

- and will being like ‘ i have a lot to learn about women not being objects’

- and nat saying ‘you are way further along than most’ like no, he’s not. the bar is on the ground and he still can’t jump it

- i’m pretty sure this show doesn’t pass the bechdel test. holy fucking shit it doesn’t. you’ve gotta be kidding me. (at least this episode doesn’t)

I can’t believe this episode didn’t pass the bechdel test. The only convo btwn two women were like maggie and sharon and they talk about barry and oh my god this is infuriating god med the bar is so low. And I’m pretty sure most episodes don’t pass the test anyway. Will is literally the representation of med. He gets lots of credit for doing bare minimum things like giving women rights.

Anyway.

This was a good episode. We dissected a lot of unspoken Ava things, which is very good. Ava had a lot of moments where she was there, but didn’t say anything, and when your characters can do that, that’s when you know your characterization is very good.

The moments where Ava isn’t really doing anything to forward the plot of the episode but she’s still just there, doing her own thing, are hands down my favorite. Her sitting at the desk looking at a scan while connor tells latham he didn’t do cocaine could possibly my favorite ava moment in the series, just bc it shows how much of her own character should could’ve been.

I drew an interesting parallel btwn sarah offering the guy to slit her throat and ava’s death. i have nothing for that but go wild

This episode also showed us Ava pitying Connor, another new aspect. she gives him shit but she also pities him. very good ep for little ava moments

as always, thanks for sticking through it

read the rest here:

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 11 / Part 12 / Extra

#chicago med #ava bekker #med rewatch series #down by law #mine

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getallemeralds · 5 years

Text

really, really long rambling

i forgot how i got onto this tangent but on the car ride home i ended up thinking about Speed The Collapse, or. actually that’s just the first fic in it, i dont think the setting has an overall name. uhhh. WELL it’s the yogscast fic/RP setting i started years ago and evolved into atomiclalna/getfluxd/wellcatchyou. and it evolved into being pretty weird and im thinking about it again so here’s an explanation of all the characters while i think abt writing more STC

(some of this is specifically rp-verse that later got welded into fic canon, to make things extra confusing. especially with Atomic and Digger. fantastic)

Lalna “Lal/Atomic” Coffee is the “main” Lalna. he’s an AU of Flux Buddies that got... really convoluted bc of him originally having a bunch of different rp verses and then i accidentally slammed them together and had to try and reconcile em. he’s an omnidisciplinary scientist but mainly likes rockets, nukes, and blowing things up. and reckless use of thaumcraft, obvs.

he got de-Fluxed in one rpverse with the help of Circuit (a friend’s OC), and then when the verse-fusion happened it got kind of weird because Nano (who also got de-Fluxed in the same rp) stayed Fluxed but Atomic didn’t, so he’s just... kinda weird. but with the like, non-rp verse, i think it ended up being that he just burned all the surface-level Flux off but Nano had progressed so much that it probably would’ve killed xem to do the same, and then once the whole like.. dark realm stuff happened, his Flux resurfaced like how Nano’s got worse. I DUNNO i kinda started writing him before i was even caught up on flux buddies prime while 2.0 was over halfway through so :,)

either way he ended up with intense scarring on his face & hands, on top of miscellaneous scars he had from various near-death experiences, and it kind of became his “identifying feature” both in-universe and out. he’s also a cyborg just to keep himself alive because he’s Very aware that he doesn’t have respawn (unlike pretty much everybody else) and with how reckless he is with his own safety + his expertise with machines it felt like a logical conclusion to him. he’s also very casual about his own injuries bc he can just patch it back up later, no big deal. it grosses Nano out.

Lal’s very scatterbrained, bad at talking to people, and horrendous at taking care of himself. he’s also super disaster gay and was dating both Circuit and Nilesy in the rp verse (as well as like, whatever’s going on between him and Nano in both fic and rp). he sees Xephos and Honeydew as basically his adopted parents, although his relationship with them has faded due to lack of contact; he’s usually very casual about people going in and out of his life, but it started to wear on him and he gets pretty lonely.

he’s very distrustful of other Lalnas because of everything with Hector and MP!Lalna, although he doesn’t go on the attack immediately unless he feels threatened. his memories of YOGLabs (i think the “YOG” was supposed to stand for something but i never actually sorted out what it was) are of working on the respawn system before getting suddenly fired; in actuality, he’s the master clone that got kicked out after Hector proved to Xephos that the Lalnas were too dangerous to keep around. the side-effect of this is he has a weird bug where he ends up with memories of various other Lalnas, and sometimes has trouble keeping track of which Lalna he is without someone being there to ground him. this really doesn’t help with Nano’s mistrust of him

his timeline goes: Voltz -> Yoglabs -> Duncan’s Lab -> Blackrock -> The Apprentice -> Flux Buddies series

Lalnable “Hec” Hector is... complicated. he’s the original Lalna, who according to Xephos went insane and had to be locked up in YOGLabs; several of his breakout attempts failed, only for him to finally bail out successfully and go on the run. his main goal is to bring down YOGLabs, believing that Xephos has put all his morals in the trash in search of power & immortality, with a side hobby of trying to figure out what the hell is up with the Specimens, seriously it shouldn’t be this hard to clone somebody even if they’re full of eldritch goop wtf

all of the Lalnas are trans btw. Hec has voice dysphoria, both bc he has a case of the genders and also bc he hates the idea of being mistaken for another Lalna (although he’s tried to play that in his favour a couple of times. it usually backfires. sup, Tungsten); he feels like the Lalnas are unstable inferior knockoffs, and really doesn’t like seeing reflections of himself walking around. usually this means he goes out of his way to avoid them, but he started directly clashing with Atomic after they ended up in close proximity to each other and he took an interest in Nano.

he’s like... he plays up his edgy side to try and seem intimidating, but he’s honestly pretty pathetic. not that he can’t be dangerous, but he’s just kind of a paranoid guy with a whole lot of brain problems. has a lot in common with Atomic but does Not want to admit it. Hec is also very desensitized to blood and death bc of his work at YOGLabs (Atomic kinda is too but it’s not as prominent), but if he’s actually eaten anybody it’s probably it was probably out of curiosity. WAIT THAT SOUNDS REALLY WEIRD. i do think the like, cannibalism thing is something he got a reputation for without really comitting to it, but the nickname stuck and he’s like “sure, that’s edgy and scares people, i guess” and started going by Hector and then Five makes fun of him

he kinda suffers from badass decay but in an entertaining way bc its more like Lal & Nano learn more about him and are like, okay he’s pretty threatening, but he’s also a Lalna and they’re all idiots

his timeline is: Voltz -> Yoglabs -> Flux Buddies series

Livid Coffee is where shit starts getting REALLY weird and complicated. his deal was established in a rp arc on Atomic’s blog, where like... it was getting close to the end of Flux Buddies 2.0 in-universe, and Hector was testing out the Time Gate with the idea of like, going back in time to YOGLabs, before everything went wrong, and beating the shit out of Xephos. Lal saw something was up, went to go check it out, and got captured; Nano got suspicious once he didn’t return, and Hector has zero foresight or critical thinking skills and kinda panicked. he was only able to get the incomplete Time Gate open for a few minutes at a time while testing it, so he kinda... just. grabbed a Lalna. and sent him on his way back to the base and hoping Nano wouldn’t question it too much or that xe’d think he just had amnesia or something.

unforseen problem: the Lalna that Hector had managed to time-theft was Livid, his past self from when he still worked at YOGLabs.

im gonna be real i still have NO IDEA how this arc goes down in fic, if it does at all, but it does establish a whole lot of important things while also getting REALLY convoluted. i made a lot of decisions in dp that i definitely wouldnt today :,) BUT the gist of it is that Nano easily puts 2+2 together and rushes to rescue Lal only to get captured, and meanwhile Livid learns about everything. about Lalnable, about the failed clones, about getting fired, about how everything ended up the way it is in Lal’s time period. and he freaks out, but realizes he has a chance: he can try to stop all of this. he can go back to his original time period, and tell Xephos to shut the project down, and stop Lalnable from ever existing.

so some pretty cool stuff happens: he stages a rescue mission, rushes back through time while the baddies are distracted by the buddies, and sabotages the Time Gate in YOGLabs Deep Storage so Lalnable isn’t able to get there (which leads to baddies&buddies being scattered through time once they go through). he then runs to talk to Xephos, warn him about everything, because surely he can fix all of this, right?

Xephos listens, but then decides he doesn’t care about the risk and orders Livid to go through with it anyway. when Livid refuses, he’s locked up and his brain is fucked with to try and wipe his memories of the event. he finishes CloneSec on Xephos’s orders, only for everything to click back into place and the betrayal+paranoia causes him to lash out and try to kill Xephos, which gets him rebranded as Lalnable Hector. so it’s a time loop, basically.

as a side note, there’s a backup Livid of sorts-- in case of failure break glass, basically. somewhat literally, bc the clone is hidden in the YOGLabs reflecting pool in a glass box, far away from where anyone would stumble across him. he’s the closest clone to the original (meaning he doesn’t have any physical deviation like the other Lalnas eventually develop over course of experimentation & the master clone template), and has all of Livid’s memories up until the time travel nonsense. he never got to make an appearance outside of the original Livid in Distant Past, but interestingly one of the first times Atomic experienced clone memories in rpverse was something that happened to this guy.

his timeline is: Voltz -> Yoglabs -> Distant Past (fic) -> Hypercubed

while most of the Lalnas were fired or disposed of, with the exception of Hypercubed bc he’s in a frickin box, there was one that Xephos held onto. im gonna be real, im not totally sure how Moonquest fits into everything; honestly im kinda tempted to say it might be a case of a spare Xephos, even, considering he’s not like.. maximum bastard like Yoglabs Xephos is. either way, a single Lalna got picked up by Honeydew & Xephos and they decided to go to space together because why the hell not?

he doesn’t really have a unique nickname yet, because i haven’t done too much with him-- the most Moonquest stuff i wrote was actually an AU, with like. multiple system alien Lalnae, and he never crosses paths with that clusterfuck up there so Atomic only knows about him via clone memories & a very weird encounter with a clone-of-a-clone. who knows what he’s up to nowdays, considering Deep Space Mine never got anywhere.

his timeline is: Voltz -> Yoglabs -> Jaffa Factory -> Moonquest -> Hole Diggers -> Deep Space Mine

AND NOW WHO YOU’VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR, THE MAN, THE MYTH, THE LEGEND: DIGGER

Digger is... he’s something. while all of the other Lalnas listed here (minus original!Livid) are respawn clones, Digger is instead a “shell” clone-- basically just an empty, expendable shell someone can temporarily dump their consciousness into if they want to do something dangerous/stupid or just need to quickly hop somewhere. so, like, basically not a Lalna in the same sense as how the other Lalnas are basically like.. twins but a large number of. he’s also a reject, due to Honeydew screwing around while the shell was being constructed and accidentally mixing in some of his own DNA. because shells have DNA for some reason? they’re weird, they’re like... i think Digs got described as being made of “fake meat particles” once. doesn’t even have a pulse. or like, blood, or viscera, because any damage done to him cracks the shell.

ANYWAY so Digger was initially just a defective shell but the Hole Diggers didn’t get rid of him bc they thought he was funny in concept and also were too lazy to do anything, so he just got parked somewhere in the space station to be forgotten about. then there was a glitch with the sync chambers while Lalna was swapping to a shell, and suddenly Digger was like. aware. he basically got a copy of Lalna’s consciousness downloaded into himself. cue distress and dissociation once he immediately realized he was Stuck in an incorrect shell. THEN Honeydew accidentally blew the space station up to fuck, and Digger-- along with everyone else-- got sucked into a black hole.

ive been kinda vague about where exactly in time&space he ended up, but he basically took over some ruins he found and dug out a huge complex underground base and raids a nearby village for supplies while he was getting his feet. this is how he found a thaumonomicon, and he got himself deep into thaumcraft out of curiosity. he got himself heavily warped, and normally it would be pretty concerning but he’s rather calm about it

ive kinda gone back and forth on how he sees himself, so: he definitely starts out thinking he’s Lalna Prime but in a shell, but then learns about Other Lalnas and his memories are confusing&incomplete so he starts questioning himself and has a big ol crisis. he picks up the nickname “Digger” and ends up developing in his own direction somewhat, becoming his own person despite being a shell. having to accept the fact that he’s permanently a shell has been... difficult, and he tries very hard to ignore it because he feels like he’s super fragile if he thinks about it for too long. by the time he showed up in rp stuff, though (like showyourenergy and the corruption saga) he started owning it as like “yeah!! this is me, i guess!! if you look down on me for it ill shoot you with a very big gun!!”

his opinion on other Lalnas is that he’s TERRIFIED of them. like, pretty much convinced he’s going to get hunted down and killed if the original Moonquest Lalna finds out about him (once he learns that he even exists). that, combined with his warp, means he has paranoia to rival Hec’s; it only gets worse in rpverse when he’s managed to make a Lot of enemies. he does have a very close friend, though, potentially the only person he trusts completely: Drei, aka Specimen Echo 3-B, one of the failed Specimens that Hec created. there’s like this whole thing where Nano & the two surviving Specimens are like, a trio representing various forms of thaumic corruption? Nano is Flux, Five is Taint, and Drei is Warp! so Drei met Digger when he got himself warped to all hell, and they’re basically siblings.

i also rp’d him for like 3 days on here during the jsab corruption saga bc for some reason i doodled a leo!lalna instead of using RR

his timeline goes: [Voltz -> Yoglabs -> Jaffa Factory -> Moonquest] -> Hole Diggers -> ?

#txt #leo chirps #leodoodles #leos ocs #oc: digger #this is so many words i am SO sorry #this post took me like all day to make bc i decided to draw all these fuckers too #yogscast #atomiclalna #wellcatchyou

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sosa-sketch · 5 years

Text

Fright or Flight: Chapter 2

Parings: Prinxiety // Logicality // Platonic LAMP

Story Summary: Virgil and Patton investigate the New Prince Castle, when a brutal accident kills Patton. Patton wakes as a ghost and meets friendly ghoul Roman, who has been haunting the castle for 20 years. Virgil is determined to bring Patton back to life and brings Logan, the ghost expert, to help him out. Time is quickly running out, and the four must work together to undo death. If only it was as simple as Logan made it sound.

Unknown to them, a secret entity in the castle does not plan on letting them succeed.

Previous Chapter Next Chapter

When Patton first met Virgil, his last intention was to become friends with him. Virgil had built up a notorious reputation over the first few months of school, and his grades did nothing to disprove his status. Patton wasn’t the type to judge a person’s character based on rumors nor looks. No one was a higher believer in the benefit of doubt than Patton! However, Virgil’s first impression did not help his case.

Virgil transferred into Patton’s English class the second semester due to a schedule change. When the teacher stated a new team project was to be completed, Patton did not shy away from offering to be Virgil’s partner. He understood how difficult it could be being the new kid in a class full of friends and cliques.

The project was hefty, an collection of novel analyzing, essays, vocabulary, and journal entries. Patton was not looking forward to the Shakespearean project-Shakespeare’s language was alien to him. It occurred to Patton that pairing up with the soon-to-be-dropout may not have been his best idea. Nonetheless, Patton refused to be jaded.

The first day of the project, Virgil refused to touch the work.

“There’s no way I’m touching this project.” Virgil sneered. “Especially about Shakespeare.”

“Huh?” Patton had not fully processed Virgil’s words. “Is it because you don’t understand it?”

“Sure.”

“Neither can I! I guess Shakespeare really has our brains shaken up! Maybe we can ask the teacher to go over it for us?”

The teen huffed and shook his head. Virgil laid his head on the wooden desk and his eyes slipped closed. He napped for the rest of the period.

His behavior continued for weeks. Patton had tried everything in his power to get Virgil to help him out. Patton’s seemingly endless supply of compliments and encouraging gestures served no help.

Patton’s mind had conjured countless excuses for Virgil since Virgil himself refused to give one. At the beginning the excuses had seemed feasible. Lack of sleep? Family issues? However, by week three, Patton was already scraping the bottom of the barrel, trying to justify Virgil’s dismissive attitude with clones and possible mind control. Virgil was no closer to lifting up a pencil, there were ten days left of the project, and Patton still understood little to nothing about Shakespeare. Patton was flying solo and time was ticking.

The final week before the project was due, Patton caught the flu.

Patton would chalk up the flu to the top three sucky sicknesses of his lifetime. His fever was raging, his skin drowning in sweat while the insides of him iced over. Patton couldn’t tell when being awake ended and when sleep began. The only alarm in Patton’s body was the churning in his gut that rushed him to the toilet.

Understandably, the project was the last thing on his mind.

Patton would not remember his Shakespeare mission until the Sunday before it was due, when he was shaking off the final remnants of the flu. The realization hit him like a train, but by the time he went flying off his bed and hurriedly logging on to his computer to check the time, Patton knew it was hopeless. There was no way he could get the project done in a few hours and counting. Not when all his energy was going into fighting of sneezes and headaches.

Patton was dejectedly scrolling through his email filled with newsletters from adoption sites and animal protection agencies when a subject line caught his eye: “English Project.” Linked to the email were word documents and an audio file. Perplexedly, Patton opened the email.

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: English Project

Patton,

so apparently you’ve been sick. class is way more quiet without you their, which is wierd.

i think i did everything you hadn’t done. it’s gonna be really mispelled and confusing and shit. sorry. i’m not the best with righting. feel free to fix anything.

get well soon.

-V

p.s. sorry for acting like a jerk. i owe you a explanation monday.

Patton hugged his computer screen and laugh with relief. He had no idea why Virgil was so nervous. His ideas were brilliant. A week later, Patton would see an A in his gradebook for the Shakespeare project.

There was a reason why Patton never lost faith in people.

True to his word, the next week Virgil explained his mistreatment to Patton. Virgil struggled with dyslexia. While he was getting tutoring in overcoming his learning disability, Virgil’s writing made him incredibly insecure. His old teacher always let him work individually, but the new teacher wasn’t having it. Before class, the teacher pulled him aside and told Virgil he was no different from any other student and would have to work with a partner. Virgil, determined to spite the teacher and anxious to seem like an “idiot” in front of Patton, would pretend to sleep the whole period.

“All your writing took was a quick grammar fix. The ideas were so good! I’m not just saying that to say that, they actually were! I could never think of something like that.” Patton reassured enthusiastically.

Virgil flushed a bright red. “I didn’t do much. Shakespeare is a lot easier to understand with audio.”

Patton listened to the audiobook of Macbeth that night. Virgil clearly wasn’t giving himself enough credit.

Virgil and Patton quickly grew close once the project was done. Virgil was still quiet, snappy, moody, and detrimentally insecure, but he began to open up more as the months went on. By senior year, Patton and Virgil was joined at the hip. Two peas in a pod.

Virgil had grown a lot since freshman year.

Being joined at the hip with Virgil meant that Patton got to understand Virgil by the simplest change in body language or expression. It also meant that Patton became aquatinted with anyone close to Virgil.

Patton already had a bad feeling while Virgil’s tone had shifted on the phone the night they were chatting about yearbook quotes. Remy sending Patton a text only confirmed the ball of dread in his stomach.

Rem: pat can we talk ?

Patton: You don’t even have to ask! Everything ok?

Rem: it’s about v

Rem: have you guys talked recently ? out of school

Patton: We talked last weekend. Over the phone. Why? Is Virgil fine??

Rem: idk. he came over to my house a couple nights ago at like 5 am. talked about some ghost shit.

Patton: He woke you up to talk about ghosts??(language!)

Rem: looking for affirmation that he wasn’t some obsessed ghost freak. i told him nah

Rem: but tbh he kinda is obsessed

Patton: He is passionate about his ghosts! But that’s not a bad thing.

Rem: v strongly disagrees. the whole thing about the yearbook and ghost quotes really messed with his head

Patton: I didn’t mean anything bad by it! It was just an idea! I promise! I’ll apologize to him!!!

Rem: wait no thats not what im saying. no one blames u

Rem: is he doing any ghost stuff anytime soon

Patton: Yep. He’s going to visit a castle!

Patton: Is that bad?

Rem: don’t you remember last time v became paranoid abt something? he pulled some real stupid stuff just to prove ppl wrong

Patton: Yeah. I know.

Patton: Gosh now I’m worried :(

Rem: i just dont want him doing anything he’ll regret on the trip. can u just…idk watch out for him pls ? ik v can take care of himself. but sometimes he gets into this headspace that’s self-destructive

Rem: tbh i dont like his ghost stuff as it is. i dont need him doing something dumb either

Patton: I understand Rem. That’s really sweet of you <3 <3

Patton: I’ll look out for him! I promise!!!! :-) :-)

Rem: ty. dont tell v abt this convo tho

Despite feeling uneasy about it, Patton understood Remy’s request to keep silent. Telling Virgil about their conversation would only push Virgil away and make him defensive. It’d be impossible to look out for him.

Virgil had already given Patton a way in. Patton had to talk to Logan for Virgil and get any supplies he might need. Patton loved visiting Logan in and of itself. Maybe Logan could help him out.

Logan’s business was located near small shops clustered along the beach. It was a hotspot for tourists, where knickknacks and souvenirs were sold and expensive attractions were advertised. Patton walked along here with Virgil sometimes, stopping at the arcade or mirror maze. Patton had met some of the most interesting people in the small touristy town.

Among the attractions was a dark blue shingled building with a pointy-roofed top. Painted letters on a wooden board spelt out “Afterlife Exposed.” Patton stepped through the door and a bell gently ringed, signaling his arrival.

At the sound of the bell, a tall, dark-haired man turned around. His navy suit blended in with the darkness of the shop. The man’s lean body was captivated beautifully in the suit. Patton quickly averted his eyes, blushing furiously.

“I have been expecting you-oh. Greetings, Patton. What a surprise.”

“Hi Logan!” Patton waved enthusiastically. “Who were you expecting?”

“No one. It’s a new rule Father has implemented. I must say it to every customer to ‘set the mood,’ as he calls it.” Logan dragged his hand over his face exasperatedly. “I find it quite ridiculous. But business shall be business.”

Logan’s father technically owned Afterlife Exposed. But he was always hidden in the back, gathering supplies or experimenting. Logan was currently studying entrepreneurship in college in order to take over the family business someday.

“How may I help you today, Patton?” Logan inquired, stepping around the counter to stand in front of him. He was even taller up close.

Patton filled Logan in about the New Prince Castle family murder and Virgil’s plan to investigate the castle for one of his ghost routines. Logan nodded politely the whole way through.

“I see. What an intriguing case. What exactly does he need from me?”

Patton shrugged cluelessly. “Anything you think might help, I guess.”

“What’s his budget?”

“A coffee and cake pop from Starbucks, if he uses his gift card.”

Logan rolled his eyes. “And he sent you to purchase something from here? Why, he couldn’t even afford a keychain.”

“Come on, Logan! He’s one of your most loyal customers and between us, he’s going through a rough patch. Can’t you help him out? Please?”

Logan massaged his temples and sighed. “Patton, it’s just not something the business can afford to do right now. My Father and I have been dealing with a sort of rough patch as well. You and Virgil have my sincerest apologies-truly, you do.”

Patton nodded dejectedly, “I understand.” Spotting Logan’s hesitant expression and tense form, he rested a hand on Logan’s shoulder and grinned. “Really, I do. I don’t blame you.”

Logan gave a small, tight-lipped smile in return. Gently shaking Patton’s hand off his shoulder, he clasped his hands together tightly. “Well, is there anything else I can do for you?”

“I’m not too sure.” Patton pursed his lips in thought. “Well, actually. I was wondering if you could tell me the dos and don’ts of ghost hunting. The yays and nays. The cats and dogs-actually no scratch that, both of those would be a yay.”

“With all due respect, Patton, I think Virgil has got that covered.” Logan reassured. “He must have asked me a dozen times prior to his first investigation.”

“Oh yeah, I know. It’s for me.” Patton corrected.

Logan raised an eyebrow in perplexion. Patton had never shown an interest in ghost hunting when Virgil wasn’t to be found.

Patton thought quickly. “I just want to understand more. For when I talk to Virgil. Sometimes I really don’t get half the explanations coming from the kiddo’s mouth.” It wasn’t a lie. “Just…how do you deal with ghosts?

“I see.” Logan clicked his tongue. “I’m sure Virgil could explain it to you more in depth. But, if you’re ever in doubt, chalk it up to one thing: respect. Is what you’re doing respecting the afterlife and their home? Are you portraying common courtesy? Treat them with the same respect as the living, if not more. There are exceptions, as with anything, but for the most part, that should keep you out of trouble with spirits.”

“Respect.” Patton repeated.

“You have strong morals, Patton. If you’re concerned about involvement with the afterlife due to your closeness with Virgil, I would not worry. Lack of respect is the last of your weaknesses.”

Logan pulled out his phone from the back of his pocket. “I apologize, I must return to my work. However, if you or Virgil have any more questions, feel free to give me a call.”

Patton gushed and thanked Logan, jotting down his number. Logan flushed a gentle red and held out his hand for a handshake.

“Pleasure doing business with you, Patton.”

Patton swatted Logan’s hand away and brought him in for a hug. “Thank you, Logan.”

Logan awkwardly pat Patton on the back before ungracefully untangling himself from the embrace. “I was only doing my job. Now, I understand it’s none of my business, but I recommend getting some rest. You look exhausted.”

“High school has permanently carved bags under my eyes.” Patton shook his head defeatedly.

Logan gave an amused smirk. “You sounded like Virgil.”

Patton beamed. “Like father, like son!”

Just as Patton was about to turn around to leave the store, something in the corner of the room glistened, catching his eye. “Hey Logan? Just one more thing?”

Logan hummed at him, encouraging Patton to continue.

He pointed to the object at the corner of the room. “How much can I get that for?”

“Walkie-talkies. I sent you to Logan Berry, one of the smartest, most knowledgeable people about the afterlife in this town, and you come back with a Ghost Buster walkie-talkie.” Virgil grunted, dangling the toy by its antennae.

“You can have the Casper the Ghost one instead.”

“What? No! Ghost Busters is better, anyway.” Virgil groaned. “That’s not the point. How about advice? Did Logan say anything?”

“Just to respect the ghosts. Have common courtesy. Which you better be doing anyway, even without Logan telling you to do so.”

Virgil threw his hands up in exasperation and fell down into his sofa as the cushions engulfed the skinny man. “Obviously I respect them! The last thing I need is coming home possessed and cursed! He knows I know that. That’s really all he said?”

“Besides giving us his number.” Patton confirmed. “Which I already gave you.”

Virgil grumbled. “Whatever. One day I’ll get enough money to- wait. The walkie-talkies. There’s no way you could have bought them with my money, I would not have had enough. Please don’t tell me…”

Virgil got a glance of Patton’s sheepish look and groaned. “Patton, we have a rule! No buying each other anything!” He buried his head in his hands. “I can’t pay you back. You know that.”

“Hey…” Patton took a seat next to Virgil and laid a comforting hand on his knee. “It’s okay. They weren’t expensive. You don’t have to pay me back.”

Virgil looked at Patton in between his fingers. His voice was muffled against his palms. “You know how I feel about that, Pat.”

“Virgil, come on.” Patton pleaded.

Virgil shook his head. “Thank you. But, you need to return them.”

Guilty silence settled among the two, but neither made a move to leave. Both were lost in their own worlds when an idea struck Patton.

He nudged Virgil. “I know a way for you to pay me back without money.” At Virgil’s unimpressed look, he protested, “Seriously! It would mean a lot more to me than whatever these walkie-talkies cost.”

“Yea?” Virgil lifted his head from his hands. “What is it?”

Patton stared at Virgil’s stormy eyes as his heart pounded. In all honesty, this was the last thing Patton wanted to do. He was terrified. But, he thought back to the conversation he had with Remy, and the last time Virgil did something senseless unsupervised due to paranoia. “I want to go ghost hunting with you. At the New Prince Castle.”

Virgil’s jaw dropped. His eyes darted around Patton’s face before he shook his head and gave a weak chuckle. “Sure, Pat. Whatever you say.”

“No, I’m serious!” Patton insisted. “I’ll respect the ghosts and do whatever you tell me to do!”

Virgil was dismissing Patton before he could finish his sentence. “No, no, no. You hate ghost stories, Pat! Especially ones that are spooky and gruesome. You’d hate ghost-hutning. It’s dark and there’s lots of weird noises and tons of spiders. No way. I’m not adding more guilt to my conscience.”

Virgil made a move to get up from the sofa, but Patton refused to let the conversation drop. He grabbed Virgil’s hand and pulled him back to the seat. Virgil landed with a clumsy thump.

“Kiddo, I know I hate all those things. I’m sure I’ll be scared. But, you’ll be there too! I love you more than I hate all those things combined.”

“Patton, we can do something else together. Go to the movies. Or bowling. Normal teen stuff.” Virgil reasoned.

Patton retorted, “But ghost hunting is important to you.”

“It’s not that important. It’s a simple hobby. I don’t care that much about it.” Virgil cut off.

“I know, I know!” Patton quickly backtracked. “What I meant was that ghost-hunting has been a cool way for us to bond. It intrigues you-a perfectly normal amount-and I like seeing you happy! Just like you go walking with me along the shops by the beach even though it’s super crowded and you hate it.”

“Patton, what’s your point?” Virgil grilled.

“My point is I want to try this thing that you enjoy with you. Just like you try things for me. It’s senior year, Virgil. No one hates thinking about it more than me, but we don’t know what things are going to be like after high school. I want to find a husband, start a family. Maybe study veterinary science. You could have a publisher for your writing, become a famous author, and move. I want to do this with you. I want to get over my fear.”

Patton stared at Virgil hopefully and held out his hand. “What do you say? One more big adventure for the dynamic duo?”

Virgil stared at Patton, looked down and roughly shook his head, froze, then stared at Patton once more. Virgil’s foot rapidly tapped against the floor, creating a dizzy, distracting melody. Finally, Virgil pulled his hair and glared at Patton. “You’ll be careful?”

Patton nodded eagerly.

“And you’ll stick with me no matter what? At all times? I want you in my sight.”

Virgil dramatically groaned, closing his eyes and throwing his head back. “I guess you can come.”

Patton shot up from his seat, whooping with joy and hopping around the sofa. “Thank you, Virgil! Thank you! We’re going to have such a great time!”

Virgil peeked one eye open and gave a soft grin. “Yeah, I guess we are. You’re sure you wanna do this?”

“Never been more sure of anything in my life besides my love for you and cats! I pinkie swear it.”

Patton and Virgil intertwined pinkies before Patton winked and let go, embracing Virgil.

“Let your moms know you’re going to be gone for the weekend.” Virgil smirked. “We have a haunted castle to explore.”

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #sanders sides fanfiction #roman sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #remy sanders #deceit sanders #LAMP #CALM #platonic lamp #hurt/comfort #family fluff #fluff #logicality #prinxiety

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equalstrashflavoredtrash · 6 years

Text

Left to the Wolves

a/n: So i fininally finished this story which i’ve been working on all summer... it’s my first foray into the genre of a/b/o au so i hope you guys enjoy. This chap is Hvits centric but there’s suggestion of Ubbe x reader and if this gets enough positive feed back, i will continue with a chap abt him!

warnings: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, a bit of heavy handed persuasion but overall consented sexy times, like this is mostly smut cus im a perv like that... oral (fem receiving) and vaginal penetration, also a healthy competition between brothers.

FF.net // Ao3 // Masterlist

Hvitserk X Reader // Vikings

word count: 2,445

As relaxing as the bath felt, it did nothing to relieve the sticky layer of perspiration that coated your skin. The sweat was provoked by a heat that came from within rather than the sun, a heat you had been trying to deny you were due for. Pulling the simple linen night dress over your head, you grabbed the hem to tap at your brow, hoping to dry it some but effectively doing nothing. No matter how much you tried to cool yourself, the moment your hands were idle your mind immediately snapped back to your hosts, Ragnar’s sons and your internal body temperature would spike.

You knew they had noticed, it was blatant they had caught a whiff of your budding heat when you spent that afternoon watching them train. Earlier in the week you had merely sat at the sidelines, spectating as they practiced, but today each of the brothers insisted on vying to hold your attention personally.

Hvitserk offered to teach you how to shoot a bow and arrow, something you’d never cared to learn before. He quickly took advantage of the situation, crowding in behind you to rest his hands on your hips under the guise of adjusting your stance. Rearing your elbow back, you pulled the string taut as his breath fanned the nape of your neck—sending a shiver down your spine—when a movement from across the field caught your eye.

Casually, you turned your head thinking it was just the others wrestling when you noticed Ubbe tugging to remove his tunic. He discarded the garment somewhere to the side as he strode back towards the makeshift ring where Sigurd waited. He met your gaze and flashed a wink, smirking before slapping his chest and settling into a starting pose. You watched the way he bent over, hands at the ready to deflect his brother’s attacks when your grip went completely lax, launching the arrow absently into the dirt.

Hvitserk’s laugh tickled at your ear, bringing you back to your present position, his hands still firm on your hips, holding you in place pressed against his chest. “You need to remember to keep your eyes on the prize, Princess,” he teased in a low voice only you could hear.

For the rest of the day you could think of nothing besides the warmth of Hvitserk behind you, his strong hands keeping you still. At the same time you found your mind wandering to his older brother, Ubbe, and to the way the sun radiated off his skin, highlighting the lean muscles he’d cultivated since your last visit when you were still a child.

That night you followed your mother and Queen Aslaug to dinner, finding all of the princes already seated at the table. Your approach caught their attention and both Hvitserk and Ubbe stood, abruptly sliding their chairs away to greet you as their younger brothers remained sitting. Aslaug and your mother took their respective seats at the head of the table and across from your intended destination. It had been a few days now that you’d occupied the spot situated between Ubbe and Hvitserk at every meal, but there was a light in both their eyes tonight that you couldn’t ignore as they ushered you into your chair.

The dinner was pleasant enough despite Ivar’s unsolicited and spiteful comments. In fact, you barely noticed the bitterness of the youngest and third Alpha in the family, having no idea that his sour mood was inspired by the same scent that brought his older brothers to battle for your attention.

Ubbe and Hvitserk were both eager to offer you more bread or mead, each making sure your plate was full before you could even reply. You were utterly overwhelmed by their hospitality, unsure of how to properly respond while also fawning at the onslaught of affection. You could barely eat under the watchful gaze of the two brothers. They were much more obvious about the competition then they had been earlier that afternoon. Throughout the meal they strove to outdo the other—whether it be through tales or kind acts.

Once you had finished eating, you were quick to excuse yourself, providing the need for a bath as the reason. As you rested in the warm water, you attempted to relieve some of the tension with your own hand, a tactic you often used before. Though before you’d never been in heat around so many Alphas, and it seemed the more time you spent with them, the more painful it was to resist. You wanted to fling yourself into their willing arms without hesitation and let them do as they pleased, marking you as theirs forever.

Unable to find release alone, you let out a frustrated snarl and gave the surface of the water a slap as if it was the bath’s fault you felt worse than before. You ultimately climbed out of the water before your fingers became too wrinkled, drying yourself and dressing for bed.

With a sigh you dropped the hem of your nightshirt back over your body when something behind you creaked. You spun on your heel, finding the door ajar and Hvitserk standing on the other side, his hand holding the latch as a smirk grew on his face.

“How long have you been there?” You exclaimed, hands flying to protectively cover your chest, forgetting you were already dressed.

“Long enough,” he shrugged as he crossed the threshold to your room, making sure to shut the door tightly behind him, clicking the lock closed.

“You shouldn’t be here,” you stated in what you hoped was a strong voice, but even you couldn’t deny the waiver at the end. “If-if my mother knew, she’d—,”

Hvitserk’s smile cut you off. “You see, I’ve been thinking about that,” Hvitserk began, slowly moving closer as you tried to match his steps in reverse, backing away until your thighs butted up against the edge of the table where you ate breakfast. “If your mother cares so much, why did she bring you to Kattegat—where she knew there were young alphas—when you would be in heat? Why are you in a room by yourself, with such a large bed, if you weren’t meant to share it?” His jovial expressing and tone seemed kind enough, but you could sense the edge to it. You could see his scheme but something in you found it logical—maybe it was the part of you that wanted him so—but suddenly it seemed to make since why your mother kept dismissing you, telling you to spend time with the Ragnarssons while she and Aslaug did needle work.

His hand found your waist again, squeezing your curves harder than he had while teaching you to shoot. Leaning to the side, Hvitserk dropped his head, nuzzling into the crook of you neck, inhaling your scent with a groan. Your fingers squeezed his shoulders, making a futile effort to resist as you melted into his touch.

“I’m not supposed too—,” your voice trailed into a moan as his lips made contact with your skin.

“Stop fighting,” Hvitserk hissed, finally crashing his mouth against yours. You tongues wrestled as his left hand dropped to cup your thigh, lifting your knee to curl around his waist as he lifted you to sit on the table. You leaned back, resting on your elbows to take in the way he loomed over you, his large palm slowly traveling up your side from your leg until he came to engulf you breast.

With a tilt of his head, he studied the rapid rise and fall of your chest and the way the linen of your nightshirt clung to the sticky sweat on your skin. Reveling in the softness of your flesh under his his grasp, he unconsciously jutted his hips into yours, letting his hard length prod at your inner thigh.

Hvitserk mumbled something before lifting his head to repeat himself, “I want you.” His green eyes held yours as he stilled on top of you. “I need you. Please say you want me.”

You responded without words, snaking your fingers across the nape of his neck, pulling him forward. He easily took the hint, shifting to press against you before he suddenly went stiff. Drawing away, he looked over his shoulder just as there was a knock on the door.

“Go away Ubbe,” Hvitserk barked with a sly grin. You laid frozen beneath him, slowly processing what was happening as he chuckled, “You’re too late.”

There was a still moment of silence as the pair of you waited for an angry retort but as the minutes grew it was obvious Ubbe had left—for now. Hvitserk could barely resist himself, anxiously inching his hands under your bottom. He tensed his fingers, squeezing as he began to pull back. Stepping away, Hvitserk grabbed your hand, leading you away from your perch on the table.

He backed you to the mattress, crowding against you as his palm came to hold your cheek. “It would be a shame if this big bed went to waste,” he teased as he lead you to lay flat atop the furs. You were like putty in his hands, allowing him to maneuver you limbs to the right place as he pleased, settling so your arms were pinned above your head.

Pawing at the hem of your skirt with his free hand, he drew the fabric higher, revealing the apex of your thighs. The deep groan he released at the sight of your sopping mound resonated in your bones. Silently, you longed for contact, jutting your hips towards his, begging for some kind of stimuli.

Slowly he dipped his fingers between your lips, easily finding your bud of nerves. With a brazen swipe, he rolled the nub under his touch, eliciting a moan from you lips with each rock. Grinning to himself Hvitserk watched the way you fell apart under him, knowing that every sound that crossed your lips came without hesitation. You bucked into his grasp, urging his hand to slide lower. He swirled his digits, skimming just around where you wanted him most before he began to shift. Inching his knees back, Hvitserk dove forward, burying his face between your thighs. His tongue and lips took over where his fingers had been as he laved at your hole, giving you everything but what you needed for release.

“Stop, stop,” you panted, tugging at his braids to pull his face away, overwhelmed by the presence of his tongue. Your cunt ached for him and his mouth only increased the want til it was unbearable. “Please,” your voice came out breathy and eager as you begged. “Please, I need your cock inside me.”

The look in his eye only stoked the fire within your gut, leading you to whine for his touch. Kneeling back he wrestled with his tunic as your fingers tugged at the lancing of his pants, too impatient to wait for him to finish. Kicking off his boots he slid his trousers down his lean legs, discarding them aimlessly before turning back to you. His prick stood proud and ready, bobbing slightly as he moved—the tip an angry purple.

You mouth watered at the sight before you, a fresh pang of desire flooding your senses. Lacing your fingers into the roots of his hair, you pulled him forward as you laid back, letting your knees fall open. Hvitserk pumped himself while lining the head with your entrance. In a single hard thrust, he sank into you easily.

Clenching around him you reveled in everything you wanted but had been denying yourself. He drew back before slamming against you, the sound of skin slapping against skin mixing in the air with your moans as he kept up a brutal pace. Hvitserk wrapped his arms around your ribs, holding you tight as you clutched at his shoulder blades, your nails leaving red lines as they dug in to his skin.

Maneuvering his legs, he pushed himself to roll onto his back, dragging you to straddle his waist. Sitting up you rested your hands flat on his chest, bracing yourself as you reared back, pushing your ass backwards to swallow the entirety of his prick, swollen knot included. You could feel Hvitserk’s grip tighten as your hips came to touch his, pausing for a moment to adjust to the way his knot stretched your walls so deliciously.

A stuttered moan leaked from Hvitserk’s mouth as you began to roll your hips, grinding so that your clit hit his pelvic bone with every pass. You were so distracted by the feeling of his cock inside you, you hadn’t even realized the filth that he had been cooing to you.

“You like that don’t you?” he chided as you raised your eyes to meet his. “You feel fucking perfect, I can barely hold back.”

“Then don’t—,” you whined in response, blushing at the dark grin that slid across his face.

“You want me to ruin you, huh?” He began, digging his fingers into your ass, spreading your cheeks as his lifted you. “You want me to come inside you, to fill you with pups?” Grounding his heals into the bed he began to thrust upwards at a steady but teasing pace. “Tell me. Tell me how bad you want it and I’ll give you everything.”

“Yes, I want it. I want your cum so bad, please fill me,” you begged without thought or hesitation in a high pitched, wanton voice that nearly threw him over the edge. Hvitserk grabbed at your hair, wrenching your head back to expose your neck to his teeth as he pounded into you in an unyielding rhythm. Your soft flesh bounced as he nipped along your throat. He could feel the moment your body let go, the walls of your cunt spasming around him as your limbs shook, overwhelmed by the liquid ecstasy that flowed so freely through you.

Hvitserk followed soon after, his own body tensing as he fulfilled his promise to release his seed deep within you. Finally giving up on using your arms for support, you collapse to his chest—still trying you gather you conscious thoughts.

Shifting, you move to roll off from on top Hvitserk, but he was quick to keep you in place the moment he felt the slightest tug on his over inflated knot. “Not so fast,” he chuckles, drawing his arms tighter around your ribs. “You think I’m letting you go this soon after getting you? I'm not done here tonight.” Your response was a content purr, accepting your fate for the evening as you nuzzled your nose into the crook of his neck.

Hope you enjoyed! please tell me what you thought!

@beautifulramblingbrains @ariwolf14 @titty-teetee @whenimaunicorn @sweetvengeancee @ivarinleatherpants @tiyetiye @romanchronicles @oddsnendsfanfic @murmelinchen @buckybarnesisalittleshit @laketaj24 @ivarslittlebadgirl @readsalot73 @imgoldielikehawn @ivarsshieldmadien @ceridwenofwales @grungyblonde @honestsycrets @lisinfleur [[if you want to be tagged for vikings stuff in the future, leave a reply]]

#hvitserk #hvitserk imagine #hvitserk x reader #alpha!hvitserk #hvitserk x you #vikings #my writing #left to the wolves

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cosmostellar · 6 years

Text

Connie in Stevens role au

Connie was mostly raised by the crystal gems, struggles with social interactions, feels isolated from the Beach City ppl

a first few episodes are mostly just Connie interacting with the gems, you get to know who the gems are on the surface level + Connie’s father is introduced

Connie’s dad is still a security guard and Connie is very insistent that it’s not only her moms who fight for the gems, her dad does too!!

Doug is initially disregarded as a “just human” by the gems, but later becomes a more active part of the team and is never left helpless

however, he does travel throughout the entire state most of the time

he always finds some time for his daughter when Connie wants to talk via phone and loves her deeply, but sometimes Connie feels like he isn’t there enough which only adds to her general anxiety

Connie is a pretty cautious person, her big issue at first is how much she overthinks things and hesitates - she wants to help the gems but she isn’t sure how

she brings the fresh blood of new ideas and new outlook into the gems’ life

she reads A LOT, both fiction and non-fiction, and often talks to the crystal gems about the past events, even the brutal ones such as wars; easily makes connections between whatever she reads about and whatever is happening in the gems’ lives or happened in the gem history, is more inquisitive abt the gem history than Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl wish she was at this age

Pearl constantly gets fictional stories and non-fiction mixed up sfddsfd Connie is like “George Washington” and Pearls like “oh isnt he that mage from that book youve read last summer???”

Pearl is EXTREMELY frustrated abt things such as Arthurian myths because it EITHER IS HISTORY OR IT ISNT HISTORY WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT CONNIE

and Connie is like “well you were there right???”

Pearl, remembering how she was thirsting after Rose in the middle ages: .......i do not think i was in that particular place during that time period, no

oh RQ =/= PD in this au, Rose Quartz was just a soldier with a lot of secrets who helped an enslaved Pearl escape, she did indeed shatter Pink Diamond + Pearl was indeed a renegade

the Bismuth arc plays out COMPLETELY DIFFERENT because Connie always needs to see and understand all sides of the conflict and even then she sometimes can’t decide or feels uncomfortable with deciding, in a way she is fascinated by Bismuth’s new perspective but v unsure bcs this is not how she was taught, they sit down and talk together for a very long time

Connie is generally not as uncomfortable with the idea of killing for the greater good since she knows history, she still feels weird with the idea of doing it herself and would rather spare people if she had to

she sometimes struggles with expressing or even understanding her feelings very much which makes the gems initially think she’s much more mature and responsible than she really is

Amethyst is from the beginning introduced with attempts to deal with her issues; she tries to put her self-worth into the hands of others, that is, she is the one who goes to Beach City, she is the one known by everyone there, she seems outgoing, she has friends there

or rather “friends” bcs no one really knows how insecure Amethyst is under all this Attitude, they only know one side of her and Amethyst feels even worse because in some way she is just fooling people into liking her since she can’t make Garnet and Pearl like her

she doesn’t realize that the part of her Beach City people like is also her

Connie is just the awkward girl always hanging in the background and has a much worse relationship w/ Beach City people than Amethyst does, she has a hard time connecting to people

first real attempts she makes are actually bcs Amethyst encourages her to do so which probably leads to Connie discovering more abt Amethyst’s self-worth issues

(before that Amethyst is kinda The Coolest for Connie since Connie really wishes she was better with people and Amethyst has that trait, people look at her and talk to her and she is amazing and Connie is just there, too awkward to stutter a full sentence)

at some point after shes more socially developed Connie decides to actually go to school because there are so many things the gems simply can’t teach her (this is also connected to her arc of idealizing the gems less and less, she has so many questions they are unable to answer)

during the Homeworld arc Connie tries to get her way out of there, helps Blue Zircon with the case, they actually manage to run away together

Blue Zircon is super anxious after that and Connie is too so its GREAT

there would be no murder mystery so there’d have to be a different kind of trial put there BUT: Connie takes Blue Zircon to Earth and they become very very good friends because they are both extremely inquisitive and interested in puzzles and logical solutions

Connie shows Blue Zircon mystery novels and Blue Zircon is DELIGHTED

Connie-Peridot mutual awkwardness

Peridot and Lapis are an actual addition to the cast, appear regularly, have their own motives

EACH BEACH CITY EPISODE IS MADE TO FURTHER AN ARC OF ONE OF THE MAIN CHARACTERS, EITHER CONNIE OR ONE OF THE GEMS

at first they are mostly abt Connie’s social anxiety and her attempts at understanding the human part of her heritage better, she reads about it a lot but she wants to have a better insight in practice

and also the whole Amethyst thing

an episode that is just Pearl taking Connie to some party the kids from school throw

Pearl thinks it’ll be HardcoreTM but its really just kids sitting around talking, Pearl is awkward

gOOD GOD LET PEARL HAVE ACTUAL INTERACTIONS WITH HUMANS, LET PEARL STOP SEEING THE PLANET EARTH AS ROSES-AND-ONLY-ROSES THING, LET PEARL FALL IN LOVE WITH THE THING SHE’S FIGHTING FOR FINALLY BECAUSE OF THIS INCREDIBLE LITTLE HALF-HUMAN WHO WONT LET HER FORGET THAT PEOPLE CAN BE COOL

at some point after heavy stuff happens Connie starts seeing a therapist

Lapis is also encouraged to do so, the idea Lapis is at first repulsed by and it takes her some time to actually see it in the realm of possibilities

Connie starts seeing a therapist because of Doug’s influence and help

Doug, as a guard, went through pretty heavy stuff himself and therapist’s help is just a very natural part of his life and he knows it helps and he doesnt want to leave his daughter completely alone with her psyche after so many fucked up events including the whole intergalactic war thing

Lapis and Peridot do live together but only after they get to know each other better and are able to be healthier and more functional with each other

Lapis doesnt know where to stay and for some time shes just a free bird, she disappears and reappears randomly; she is afraid of commitment, she is afraid of finding someone she’ll like, she is terrified of facing her own feelings, its bizzare how shes finally free and all she really wants is to lie somewhere and die

in some ep she meets Doug who kinda takes care of her in this non-invasive way Lapis needs which makes Lapis come back more and more; she doesn’t officialy travel with him but she kinda does, for some time

bcs goddamit Lapis’s problems are fucking heavy and she needs adults who will help her figure it out, Connie is like what, thirteen??

aka: Lapis is Doug’s grumpy adopted teenage daughter and you can f ight me

also Pearl dates some human women, then Bismuth is unbubbled and after some time she and Pearl slowly start having a thing

it’s an incredible chance for Pearl to actually revise her past: to bring the events of the war to the surface and see them from a new perspective, to have a new understanding of herself and her past actions, to finally deal with all those heavy fucked up feelings that have never been properly worked through because Rose never really gave her the chance or support to do so

it’s sometimes very ugly, and it’s a lot of crying, and sometimes Pearl is just weeping silently for a very, very long time, but Bismuth is there for her

since Bismuth isnt rebubbled in this au bcs Connie actually listens to her point, Bismuth is keeping up the facade of just being magically found in the lion for some time more

one day when Pearl is just hanging with her in her workshop Bismuth finally tells her abt why Rose bubbled her which brings a whole new light to the picture of Rose Quartz Pearl has; Pearl has never thought that Rose could bubble someone like this, especially someone like Bismuth

Pearl is the support Bismuth needs, Bismuth is the support Pearl needs

Lion actually has a name here bcs Connie names him - more specifically, like 343234 different names because Connie is so damn indecisive

Connie asks questions. so many questions

#steven universe #su #connie maheswaran #garnet #amethyst #pearl #peridot #lapis #koh talks #haha im bitter #su critical

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lucozdes-blog · 6 years

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finally !! here’s the intro guides to my children !! blease....plot with me.

(lee taeyong, he/him, bisexual) HEY, ISN'T THAT [KIM JEONGMIN]? YEAH, THE [TWENTY-THREE] YEAR OLD [CISMALE] FROM [SOUTH KOREA]! YEAH, I HEARD THEY'RE THE [FASHION DESIGN] STUDENT AT THE UNIVERSITY OF AMSTERDAM NOW! LET'S HOPE THEIR STAY HERE IS AN ADVENTUROUS ONE! (dani, twenty, she/her, pst)

jeongmin is a fashionista, from designing original pieces to styling.

his current aesthetic: goth street looks. think seoul fashion week.

he loves nothing more than styling his friends or anyone who asks for help; he works within your budget and closet. he knows how and where to find deals and just overall very resourceful.

he’s all for the environment too, the studio is filled with a variety of recyclable bin from plastic to old garments.

he works as a part time visual for a retail store, it’s only a couple hours three mornings a week when he doesn’t have class, it’s good to have some sort of income. plus they pay him well considering his major and eye for new campaigns.

he’s the guy with a variety of hook up numbers on his phone, never by name but with an emoji and number next to it. he’s a hoe (no jk i love him) and finds validation with the amount of people he sleeps with honestly it’s sad i don’t think he’s ever been in a genuine relationship. it’s just angst n heartbreak so he’d rather just sleep with ppl.

anyways, his goal? design for the met gala and BE IN the met gala to show all those celebrities how it’s TRULY done.

hic current look: taeyong in the chain mv.

(nam joohyuk, he/him, bisexual) HEY, ISN'T THAT [MOON HANJAE]? YEAH, THE [TWENTY-FOUR] YEAR OLD [CISMALE] FROM [SOUTH KOREA]! YEAH, I HEARD THEY'RE THE [PERFORMANCE] STUDENT AT THE UNIVERSITY OF AMSTERDAM NOW! LET'S HOPE THEIR STAY HERE IS AN ADVENTUROUS ONE! (dani, twenty, she/her, pst)

my son whomst i BIRTHED

part of the fuccboi squad...SHOUT OUT..shout out..aahhhh..was popping ooooo

he’s obnoxious and loud and dramatic and YET people love him thank you very much. doesn’t know when to stop honestly someone kick his ass.

he’s been to school everywhere, studying abroad for high school, doing a year in england, a year at julliard and finally amsterdam, i’m just going to say he’s been here for 3 years and he’s going to graduate next semester.

he’s a performance/composition major and the LEAD of the orchestra because he’s just that talented that vivaldi is shaking in his grave. a prodigy if you will because it’s not the only instrument he can play but his favorite.

he comes from a home of socialites back in busan, his family dabbles in the arts. his family also decided his fate: arranged marriage. it’s a secret though, only haebin and haneul know about it.

cue why he’s part of the squad, he went through people so fast, indulging himself in variety knowing that after he graduates he’ll be tied down and he hates the very idea of it. which is why he’s an ass and wont accept that he maybe really likes misun more than a hook-up, also the reason why he’s BEEN OUT OF THE GAME that the lads are noticing lmao

anyways he’s a disaster but he loves his friends so much he just wants to Protecc

(kwon jiyong, he/him, bisexual) HEY, ISN'T THAT [AHN DAEHYUN], THE [TWENTY-FIVE] YEAR OLD [CISMALE] FROM [SOUTH KOREA]? YEAH, I HEARD THEY'RE THE [ENT. BUSINESS] STUDENT AT THE UNIVERSITY OF AMSTERDAM NOW! LET'S HOPE THEIR STAY HERE IS AN ADVENTUROUS ONE! (dani, 20, she/her, pst)

he is the mom friend probably idk he’s always dd when the lads go out and does a run down of who’s where and if they’re ok before calling it a night when they go out

he doesn’t party often, it’s honestly rare for him to go ALL OUT unless he knows he can handle it and he’s with minji who knows about his chronic fatigue syndrome

it’s back and forth, getting rest doesn’t help him at all and so he’s taken up dancing as a hobby again, just one class where he can a good amount of exercise without stressing himself too much when he has too much on his plate

he’s all good now though, it’s part of him but it wasn’t as bad as when he used to be a trainee; daehyun was gonna become an idol if it weren’t for his health issues.

he moved to cali for a while to go to school there and check out an american industry but decided that entertainment business might be better for him, less stressful and he gets to manage and help people who wish to be part of it.

anyways he sounds like a monotone dad when he texts but in person he’s more into conversations, a good time, and he really loves the lads.

he’s also lowkey dating taemin’s sister but no one knows that lol.

(kim minseok, he/him, homosexual) HEY, ISN'T THAT [CHOI JISOO], THE [TWENTY-THREE] YEAR OLD [CISMALE] FROM [THE US]? YEAH, I HEARD THEY'RE THE [PERFORMANCE] STUDENT AT THE UNIVERSITY OF AMSTERDAM NOW! LET'S HOPE THEIR STAY HERE IS AN ADVENTUROUS ONE! (dani, 20, she/her, pst)

BOY, JISOO PROBABLY IS MY ONLY CHAR WITH A WILDT BACKGROUND

he’s from san francisco, ca. comes from a wealthy family, his dad was the ceo and founder of a large company ( dont ask me abt what yet tbh i’m thinking about it ); however the company only became big because they launder money. maybe deal with extortion but you know.

jisoo had it all though, he had the luxuries, he had the city, the parties, everything. only child, he was next in line to take over and actually? he didn’t mind at all if he kept living the way he was, and bonus points? his dad didn’t give a fuck about his sexuality. it was a dream.

until his crazy ass mom destroyed everything. she killed his dad but was found innocent in court because she bought the judge, and the jury? all hired by her. he was in that very courtroom when she was found innocent and before he knew it, he was being dragged out by his dad’s old lawyer and best friend. he needed to get out of there fast.

jisoo is the only one who’s allowed to touch his inheritance, his dad made it very clear that everything was to go to him. his mother still had a joint account and she still has enough to live off until she’s dying from old age but her new boy toy, 10 years younger than her kinda wants the company.

jisoo knows his mom killed his dad, he doesn’t have the evidence but he’s going to bring her down through the law or without the law because she took everything from him and he’s still reeling over it, he still has nightmares of finding his dad’s body.

and also, choi jisoo is an alias. no one knows his real name. (lol not even me, i’ll get back to you on that).

he’s in witness protection right now, undercover as a student from florida. he figured he might as well take some fun classes aka acting, dance, and studio arts. he doesn’t care for it knowing his life is set out but might as well.

(kim namjoon, he/him, bisexual) HEY, ISN'T THAT [ZANDER YU]? YEAH, THE [TWENTY-FOUR] YEAR OLD [CISMALE] FROM [THE US]! YEAH, I HEARD THEY'RE THE [PHOTOGRAPHY] STUDENT AT THE UNIVERSITY OF AMSTERDAM NOW! LET'S HOPE THEIR STAY HERE IS AN ADVENTUROUS ONE! (dani, 20, she/her, pst)

well, well, well if it isn’t the jack kerouac wanna-be. jk. he’s really not a bad person. maybe.

zander is a photographer, never staying in one place too long. he actually just arrived from mexico city and amsterdam is going to be the place he finishes his second degree.

he’s basically that indie boy from all the coming-of-age films, an enigma if you will. simply because they way he presents himself is charming, fun, friendly. he’s the type of guy you get a crush on just because of how attentive he is, how he makes you feel so interesting, how he looks at you and touches you. and he knows it.

he can read people’s emotions, he knows exactly how someone will feel before they feel it simply because of logic and tactic.

he’s incredibly smart, pretentious even but that’s part of the charm. he talks about music, books, movies. his travels. he makes people fall for him because it’s fun, it sends a rush through him knowing someone is willing to do anything for him and then...he’s gone. because he can’t do the same for you, he doesn’t feel anything for anyone. he likes the concept of being with someone, idolizing them and then leaving them and he does it in a way that you can’t really point your finger at him and blame him.

he’s really good at pretending to be someone he’s not tbh. like i want to emphasize that because i want to play him in a way that you really fall for it you know. anyways YEAH.

(josefine frida pettersen, she/her, pansexual) HEY, ISN'T THAT [LEONIE SCHÄFER]? YEAH, THE [TWENTY-ONE] YEAR OLD [CISFEMALE] FROM [GERMANY]! YEAH, I HEARD THEY'RE THE [SOCIOLOGY] STUDENT AT THE UNIVERSITY OF AMSTERDAM NOW! LET'S HOPE THEIR STAY HERE IS AN ADVENTUROUS ONE! (dani, twenty, she/her, pst)

remember what i said abt a drunk josefine fc who ends up ranting abt how toxic capitalism is and why communism isn’t the answer like all those tumblr folk like to say? WELL HERE SHE IS

she’s not a drunk lmao but if she’s at family dinners with the conservative side of her family, she GOES OFF she probably wouldnt go off at parties here unless she bumped into some asshole who wanted to mansplain something to her or whatever

she’s no poli-sci major, she takes a class but it’s only for her to get educated and accumulate more knowledge to back her up in her actual major and just to be prepared for arguments

i hate to say this bc wow cliche ! but....definitely noora vibes akhkjh i’m SORRY

she really enjoys going to the weed cafes though, catch her in there with a book just enjoying her free time

she has an accent !! considering english is her third language and french is secondl german obviously being the first. it’s cute rlly i was watching accent videos akljdhfj

still shes fluent in all three because it’s leonie why not

her aesthetic would probably be better described by donna tartt but i’ll give it a go: cigarettes in her own special metallic case, long coats, boots, very formal/casual, billie holiday records, period drama movies as well as empowering movies, beige/dark browns and black, the smell of coffee beans, aesthetic instagram

anyways uhh idk what else to add tbh if i think of anything i’ll mention it in the hc server on discord aklsjhdk

#tbt for newheros.#asjhdkjh idk what to tag it yet so !

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izzy-b-hands · 3 years

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In the weirdest fucking headspace today over two very intense dreams I had (that utterly fucked up my sleep last night, hence why I'm waking up at 12 in the fucking afternoon when I had an alarm set for ten lmao.)

Warning in advance that I'm on mobile and this post will be long, my apologies but I need to get this out now or I'm not even gonna be able to roll out of bed. TW for parts of the dreams which feature: a funeral, a funeral procession, issues with family, drowning/death via being swept out to sea, and also some odd romance/implied sex because sure why not apparently.

The first woke me up at like five, and was v weird but distinct:

Mum and I were getting to her car, that for unexplained reasons was parked at a local funeral home, which for some reason was on a hill (we don't have many hills here, v flat place, but in the dream it was all hills, almost mountains.) The implication I got in the dream was that it was the only parking spot left which is weird but sure I guess.

We didn't actually attend the funeral going on inside, but it finished up as we were trying to leave, discussing usual stuff we do before we go home like do we have the cash/feel lazy enough to get fast food on the way home instead of cook. And before mum could back out of the spot they started loading the hearse and ppl were all over the lot which pissed mum off, so she drove OVER THE FUCKING SIDEWALK AROUND PLANTS IN CEMENT PLANTERS ON THE SIDEWALK to get past them!

Which was half pointless anyway, because my grandparents were in their car right by the entrance/exit and made fun of her for doing that and for not wanting to be in the procession to the cemetery. Grandpa specifically told her 'theres a word for ppl who do what you do, we have a saying about you' and laughed at her, but wouldn't explain that further.

This next bit had me legit looking up funeral procession laws when I woke up. Because mum did get caught somehow behind the hearse even tho we'd left the lot well before it did? And was somewhat understandably flipping out because we weren't actually meant to be a part of the procession, we'd only parked there because there was nowhere else to. And if we looked back you could see my grandparents laughing at us for panicking, so finally mum broke the procession and headed up this v hilly road, winding, again almost mountainous. The last thing we saw was my grandparents looking at us and glaring. Mum kept freaking out abt how it wasn't her fault she'd had to break the law and break the procession, but she wasn't going to lose her job over all this (no idea what in the fuck that has to do with it all frankly, but she said it in the dream.)

I kept trying to calm her and said we could turn around, or pause in someone's driveway (the roads were all lined with familiar houses we've driven past irl) but she wouldn't calm, and the last thing I remember before I woke up was her turning the wheel harshly and hearing the tires skid on the edge of the very high up mountain road.

So needless to say that fucked me up and I didn't sleep again until abt eight, because I went to shower and try and chill out before crawling into my bed in my room, before I'd been passed out on the couch.

Only to then have this dream before I woke up just recently:

No family in this one, only band members from bands I like and their family (which is just my brain making a good casting decision I suppose lol.) Specifically, Queen and Avatar.

The issue was...odd. We were stuck very near the seaside, near a boardwalk that looked alarmingly similar to the one in GTA/that tbh you would see in any game modelled after the West coast. In a building that Brian (though in the dream, it was hard to know it was him?? Like him and Bri and Freddie and John kept switching ages, one minute it was 70s Bri, then suddenly Bri now, and it was hard to follow for some reason) knew and explained to us was an old boarding school building, often used for safety for folks during times of flooding.

And in the dream I just went sure yeah okay because I had no reason to believe otherwise, and also a storm was raging outside and had been for the entire dream. Like we could hear waves hitting the building constantly.

Which was extra dangerous, because the Avatar lads and their family members (I was told all their families were there, like Henrik's wife and kids plus Paky and Jacob with Johannes, Tim's pup was there, but I only saw them randomly for the rest of the dream after being told by John (Avatar John, to clarify lol) that they had brought everyone with them) were up on this balcony that we had been instructed (by who, no fucking clue, but we trusted them implicitly apparently) was the safest place in the building and measuring from it and the iron rod fencing around it that matched the same on the building across from us would ensure our safety more (if the waves hit with a certain strength on buildings too far apart, the buildings would both be washed out to sea. Does that make logical sense? Probably not anywhere irl, but it did in the dream.)

So the entirety of Avatar are up there trying to make these measurements, arguing with Bri and Rog especially over this even being helpful to do when

And you can laugh at this, because I did too when I woke up.

There were canoes we could rent (RENT. As if we would be able to bring them back lmao) downstairs instead!! In like a surf shack thing that was in the fucking school building apparently? And bless them for a bit they really thought we could ride out the storm in them (Tim offered to share one with me and his dog. It was v sweet lol.)

Unfortunately, we then immediately (all of us now somehow crowded on the balcony which was way too big for a balcony tbh) watched a bunch of ppl outside the building try to do just that. And they failed. Miserably.

We didn't see bodies, but you just knew they were dead. Paky was crying, John (Queen, since we had two Johns to deal with in this lol) was v upset and kept talking abt how that wasn't a baptism that would get them into Heaven.

So the canoe idea was abandoned even tho the salesdude kept calling up to us and offering what he had left. Nice dude, immediately got swept out to sea by the end of the dream.

Cut back to us on the balcony, panicking. Tim keeps thanking me for holding his dog so she doesn't jump into the sea (she had no intention, and spent the entire dream in his arms, mine, or Jonas's, snuggling and whimpering and it was Honestly Heart Wrenching.) I remind him we're in this together and it's no problem. He pulls me aside for what I'm going to politely censor and just call a v weird and frankly ill-timed makeout session (then again, maybe being about to be swept out to sea is the best time for that?? Idk, but I digress except to say he was a wonderful kisser, but also we both kept crying abt realising we were going to drown, so it was A Lot for both of us I think.)

When we return, Brian has let everyone know that the final calculations are that we will certainly be swept out to sea, but so long as the building stays upright?? We won't drown and die. How does he know this? No explanation was given.

I end up hunkered down with Freddie and Jim and Tim and his pup (the cats for Freddie and Jim I never saw, but heard yowling in their crates so. As safe as can reasonably be???) My Nisha apparently didn't get to go with me for this dream, because I did look for her at points, but couldn't find her (Tim cried with me over that too and helped, v supportive, and now outside of the dream may I say v kind of dream him to do that for me.)

And we just...waited. Knew death was coming, and could do nothing abt it. The only comfort we could reach was that it would be like a museum at the bottom of the sea. Freddie and Tim reasoned that the Titantic, if you could walk in the ruins, might be like that. All old clothes and bones and ppls stuff. And so the school building we were in would be like that too, and we all agreed we liked museums, so maybe it wasn't the worst way to go.

Then the wave actually hit though, and it was just fkn chaos. Tim hanging onto his dog and my waist, myself hanging onto Freddie and Jim by the loops on their jeans (how tf that didn't just rip my fingers off, no idea. *Dream Magic*)

I realized horrifically that as we went down, the building was literally falling apart, bricks and iron work bars flying around us. And all I could see were bones when I looked down into the water, bones from every era but particularly Victorian by the clothes on them for some reason.

What was particularly cruel in this dream was that it ended with a false awakening. I 'woke up' to Tim's arm around my waist, and his nose nuzzling at my neck, asking me wtf I was dreaming abt because I was kicking him and could I pls stop? (Fair request, that's honestly an irl problem that my legs apparently have always tried to fight off bad dreams on their own, much to the bruises and regret of anyone who shares my bed.) And just as I turned around to answer him and tell him how fkn scared I was and how grateful I was he was there and ya know, not dead and drowned,

I woke up for real, alone, in my actual bed.

So now I'm feeling extra lonely, fucked up, and honestly peeved that the dream interpretation dictionary I usually use isn't helping much to make sense of any of this.

#text post #tw death #tw drowning #tw dream interpretation #i guess??? kind of lol #tw funerals #not sure of any other tws to add rn #but if y'all want something added lemme know!!!#and here we see how even when i sleep deeply enough to dream i often wake up and feel weird and exhausted lmao #i really could go off more abt the bits with Tim in this too but i dont wanna be like inappropriate or anything #i know it wasn't real of course it just felt so dang real

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hcbgoblin · 3 years

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ok i wanted to watch the full day4 of mma but its only being uploaded at 4am for me and i caved in and watched the lq bts performance and i just

why do you enjoy making me C RY

so stream of crying consciousness first impression...... stuff

a black swan intro A BLACK SWAN INTRO i mean i kinda wanted them to perform the whole song too but hey

it was way too fucking beautiful to be REAL i am LIVING i love love LOVE how much they leaned into classical and contemporary for black swan its more than i ever expected and i just cry every night into my pillow-

first off i love tae and hoseok as a pairing it doesnt happen often and of the dances black swan could parallel i did not think dna would be one of them but it fucking works and it looks breathtaking

the HEIGHT of taehyungs jump

swan namjin is just majestic and their postures were rly good, jins port de bras was a+; they over prepared a little for the pirouette but it somehow looks rly cute im whippedajfldkf

ok so. OK. oh . jungkook, jimin, oh wow. oh WOW. jikook has had a lot of dance duos over the years and not to be dramatic but it was all leading up to this MOMENT ksdjn. no but ok the water dance was gorgeous and how delicate and yet midly terrifying they manage to look when theyre being carried (amazing sound direction too ) by the backup dancers is so entrancing, and when they finally come together to dance their FREAKING PAS DE DEUX. (bts danced a straight up pas de deux i cant get over it they really did THAT im losing it) anyway when they dance together you can see it even better!!

that bullet was getting too long so, ok, pas de deux is usually danced by a man and a woman (its more common for this to switch it up in contemporary, but still) , and even though it takes a lot (like a fucking lot) of strenght to maintain the various poses and steps while youre being lifted(usually women), in ballet its a Thing to not let it show and appear as delicate and effortless as possible. so a lot of people who dont dance get the impression that whoever is lifting is doing the most work, but! thats not true, aND. jimin somehow manages to portray all that strenght while still being tear inducingly delicate. the sequence is sharp, delicated, jagged and desperate and jikook are PERFECT for it, bc their individual dance styles have always been so good at balancing sharp/delicate and intense.

jimins extensions are, as usual, absolutely thight and in full display. their position for the lift turn was perfect. it was so gorgeous

the final swan pose was so so so so beautiful i loved that formation. bts rly has some of the best designed (like, idk how to say this in english, but literally ‘desenhada’ ‘drawn’) transitions formations and poses. their choreographies are so teatrical, every stop is a painting and i love it. jin just delivers the final blow w the final arms and releasing the bird... mercy

speaking of which the stage design here.................. exquisite

and last but suddenly not least, the backup dancers did the MOST, mad mad props. that bridge drop before jimin first appears might genuinely war with ot7s dancing for most beautiful part of the intro

so. like. i really love black swan idk if it is noticeable.

THE STAIRS FOR ON THE NO STAIRS AAAA AND THE N;O STAIRS AND POSES AND INSTRUMENTALSSSSS

their STYLING. insane.

ON you beautiful bitch i missed you . you deserved to have been so BIG UGHSJDFN

is it just me or does on feel simultaneously shorter and more INTENSE

the purple mappp :((( and armys making up bts photo oh my GOD:((( ;;o;;

since its very unlikely they would have released anything outside of mots7 this year were it not for covid, their final performances would probably be n.o, black swan and on, maybe with wabte. im kinda sad now

but now for long, quarantine savior life goes on is here 🥺🥺🥺

life goes on is so good live its ... ugh

how SOFT their faces went in yoongis verso tho

its a bangtanarmy world

they did the PAH

dynamite quarantine bop lets go

uhHHHhhHh hoseok?? this VELVET FIT. JHSRKDKJS

taejoons talk the talk that was SO CUTE. ILLEGAL

they look so happy and energetic i love to see it

dynamite has such a fun choreo. its their simplest one since.... just one day, probably, but they make it SO engaging

also the way their suits change color is MAGICAL

jin air kisses into the dance break? yEs

THIS DANCE BREAK. ITS PURE DISCO OH MY GOD OH My GoD DISCO QUEEN DYNAMITE!!! U DID THAT . the vibez are absolutely exquisite , dare i say........ GROOVY

super fast footwork and their delivery is so suave and cool holy shit im hypnotized ; that little HEAD BOP on the suspended kick - . like this dance is brimming with personality i love it so much

hoseoks subtle roboting just adds that Something to it ,

his style is so interesting to me bc like, usually street styles use a lower posture, heavier/sharper finishes, and are visually bolder styles of dancing, highlighting the impact of the steps (i wish i could explain what i mean better but im not super familiar with street styles ughfgfd ) . as opposed to contemporary/jazz/ballet etc but hoseoks style is like a hybrid lately, its very light, almost like hes floating across the stage (voguings a street style that has that lighter higher disposition, but hoseok doesnt rly vogue afaik.... someone once noted, that, interestingly, thats also the core logic of classical dancing and that creates such an interesting contrast in a way that is different but parallel to the way jimin also likes to create that type of contrast in his dancing?? ugh yes.)

and anyway, he manages to be so fluid and light and still so sharp and this choreography highlights that soooo well. his footwork and his extensions when hes leading the dance line- chefs kiss . also that hat and that suit . thank you bh

their linesssssss cries

jimins high kick tumble cries the 70s just kicked me in the face + the synced jump the others do just as he kicks a+++++

they are so synchronized . like they usually are, but it looks even more satisfying here

this dance break..... i didnt think dynamite would do this for us, but its among my favorites

taehyung is made for This

2seoks suits are driving me feral

was just talking to a friend today abt how i thought back in 2016 that no one could top that mama performance, not even bts themselves......... ha . hahahah ha.

bangtan. never. disapoints.

#m.#STREAM OF CONCIOUSNESS BC IM GOING THRU IT #IT JUST INSPIRED ME #goddddddd bangtan #and mind you i havent even watching in hd yet akjfngnmdsm #kal

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