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#i guess she was just too cautious to take TOO much of the length of my hair but gurl what's the point if you only take like 1 cm 😐
theflyingfeeling · 6 months
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...💇‍♀️
#so i went to the hairdresser's in september to get a trim after over a year of having NOTHING done to my hair#it was in suuuuuuuuch a poor condition but i loved how long it had gotten so i suffered through the summer#i just wasn't ready to say goodbye to my mermaid hair 🥺#(i should've got it done in the spring but didn't because. well. life i guess lol i wasn't feeling very well maybe)#and so when i finally went to get it done i asked the hairdresser to cut only what was necessary#fair enough i went home only to notice absolutely NOTHING had happened 🙃#i thought i could live with it until maybe later in the winter but i was getting so frustrated with how lifeless and tangled my hair was 😭#so i booked a new appointment at a different hairdresser (a new one has just opened near me)#and aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh my hair looks and feels SO much more healthier now!! 😭 nearly teared up at the hairdresser's feeling my new hair 😂#but at the same time i'm a bit 🥲 because it's quite a bit shorter now 🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲#it's not short per se but aaaahhhh I'm having a minor identity crisis lol (no i'm not i'm just being dramatic 💅)#but it's definitely better this way. i love my hair and i'm never ever letting it get in such a terrible condition ever again 🤧#also i'm not going back to that other place again because it wasn't the first time the same person had done barely anything to my hair 🤨#i mean. i guess they just did what i had asked but...#with all the other hairdressers there's never been any problem when i told them to ''only take what's needed''#i guess she was just too cautious to take TOO much of the length of my hair but gurl what's the point if you only take like 1 cm 😐#with ''what's needed'' i obviously mean ''enough so i won't have to come back here next month'' :\#anyway! i'm happy and keep sniffing my hair (and giving myself a headache in the process) because the products they used smell so nice 💖#pointless ramblings hi yess i'm bored by theflyingfeeling
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bonny-kookoo · 6 months
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Jungkook
𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐎𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐫 | Changes
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What do you do when the person you once were becomes the person you miss being the most?
Tags/Warnings: Aged up!Jungkook, Younger!Reader, Age Gap (9 years, JK is mentioned to be 34/35), Angst, Mature romance, Jungkook's ex wife, mentions of past physical abuse, mentions of alcohol abuse, fluff, flirty Jungkook, no smut in this I'm sorry pls still read it :( there's some tension tho!!
Length: 6.5k words
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"Thanks for picking him up." Taehyung sighs, his son happily in the living room, taking a nap from school as he tucks himself in on the couch while his favorite show plays on the TV.
"I would've asked her, you know, but I feel like I'm relying too much on her again." The young father sighs. "I'm basically treating her the same as I did years ago, just without the pay."
"I heard about that." Jungkook says, drinking his coffee at the kitchen table where he sits across Taehyung. "She used to nanny while you lived separately from your wife, I think it was." He hums, setting his cup down. Jungkook isn't on bad terms with Taehyung's wife- but he tends to not say her name, because he honestly harbors quite a bit of distaste towards the woman who refuses to properly take care of her own child.
"Well don't you seem to know a bit about her now." Taehyung squints his eyes in suspicion. "What happened to 'she's too young for me anyways' huh?" He teases, and Jungkook sighs.
"Well, things.. happened. And we talked." He shrugs. "We're not.. really a couple, but we agreed to spend time with one another." He explains.
"So you're friends with benefits?" He wonders, drinking his tea while Jungkook leans back.
"No." He shakes his head, even though deep down, it does kind of feel like that to him, now that he thinks about it a bit more. "It's.. a bit more complicated than that. We're simply talking, seeing where it goes." He says.
"Hmhm." Tae nods. "Just don't break her heart. I still got basically nightmares from her last relationship." He mumbles a bit angrily to himself, clearly a bit irritated even just by the thought of it.
"I.. wondered what happened." Jungkook says. "Dae said he was a drinker?" He wonders, and Taehyung nods.
"Drinker, druggie, abusive asshole." He huffs, crossing his arms. "It's the main reason she moved away when Daehyun was younger. She wanted to protect him- make sure he won't get hurt."
"Was he violent?" Jungkook wants to know, because honestly, he has a hunch that that might've been the case. Taehyung seems on edge now, clearly torn between probably saying the truth, and respecting your privacy. "I was intending to ask her anyways. But she seems like the type to downplay her problems in order to make things seem less serious, so I thought you might be more honest." He adds.
"Yeah, she is like that." Tae agrees softly. "I'm not too sure what exactly went down. But I do know that she.. distanced herself out of fear that Daehyun might get hurt." He tells his friend. "Greg started to pick her up every time she'd babysit Daehyun at my house, even after I told him I didn't like that. He still did, still argued, turned up drunk multiple times at my doorstep." The young father remembers. "I kept her with me, of course. I'd never let her drive home with that alcoholic- but I guess something must've happened because she just.. suddenly cut contact." He shrugs. "Sent me a text, changed her number, moved out her old apartment."
"When did she come back?" Jungkook wonders.
"According to Yoongi, a few weeks before the aftershow party." Taehyung responds.
"So that's why you didn't recognize her?" He figures, and Tae nods.
"She changed a lot. Not just visually. She's.." His eyes lower to the cup in his hand. "..a lot more quiet. Cautious. Jumpy." He informs his friend. "And at the same time, she seems to mask a lot of it- get's irritated easily. She's trying to be who she was, but it's obvious that something changed, and whenever someone notices, she becomes defensive."
Jungkook doesn't really know what to think. Looking at Daehyun on the couch, he can absolutely understand your standpoint back then to get away from Taehyung's family in order to protect them- but that means there must have been at least some form of fear against your former partner to make you believe that he could potentially be a danger to the young boy and his father. It could also just be jealousy, of course- but Taehyung is right. You are a little odd sometimes.
And he doesn't know if he wants to know exactly why, or if he wants to let sleeping dogs rest.
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Jungkook leans back in his office chair, headache already almost too unbearable to him, especially considering the woman who's making her way up in the giant corporate building to see him.
She wants money again, he knows it. Evelyn only ever visits him if there's something she wants, after all.
"One might argue they'd know me by now." Evelyn huffs as she enters the office, hair a bit wet as she throws her coat over the chair in front of his desk, before she sits down. "How're you doing?" She wonders, and Jungkook doesn't look away from his laptop's screen whatsoever, still looking through his e-mails. He doesn't have to put too many thoughts into this conversation after all- she's most likely just here to leech off of him again.
"Cut it." He simply says. "What do you want?" He asks, phone on his desk vibrating and chiming with a new notification.
'I can just drop something off for you? I just got off work myself, so it's no hassle.' your message reads, an answer to a former rant from him about his headache, and the fact that he's 'locked in like a dog' in his office and without any proper food ever since this morning. It makes him softly smile a little, the fact that you want to bring him something to eat even though you're probably exhausted from your shift as well is something he's not used to. And he didn't even have to ask for it.
'Only if it's really not an issue for you' his answer reads, and you send a thumbs-up emoji as an answer, before you finish typing your proper answer.
'DW, is anything okay or do you want something specific?' you question, and he immediately types a response.
'Just whatever, really. Nothing too spicy though, please.' he offers, when a hand knocks on the table in front of him, the woman in his office dragging him back into reality with force. He signs, locks his phone before he puts it down, opening a chat with the front desk downstairs to let them know to bring you up when you arrive.
"You know, this was always the issue, Jungkook." Evelyn whines, leaning back in her chair with her arms crossed. "You're so consumed by your work, it's crazy." She shakes her head.
"That wasn't work, actually." He bites back with a monotone voice, not really offering her any emotion whatsoever- there's nothing left in him anymore he could offer anyways. She took it all, sucked it out of him like an insect, and now she's constantly upset that he's empty inside.
"Anyways, I got this letter recently stating that there was an issue with the bank transfer?" She says, giving him the letter to read- which he does, flying over it just to remember why that bank transfer did not go through. "I told them that they'll get their money by friday." She hums, leaning her face on her palm while he gives her the letter back.
"What do I have to do with it then?" He asks, and she sits upright again, tilting her head a bit in irritation. "You said they'll get their money by friday. Good. Why are you here then?" He asks, arms crossed, office chair squeaking a bit as he leans back into it.
"Well, it's your bank account!" She laughs a bit unsure. "I don't even know why there was apparently not a sufficient balance on it." She argues.
"I resigned the automatic transfer rights." Jungkook tells her, face not moving an inch as he breaks the news. "The letter doesn't mention an insufficient balance at all, Evelyn. It states that there's no bank account set for the automated transfer option at all." He informs her.
"What the fuck Jungkook?!" She barks. "And you didn't even tell me?!" She yells, standing up to slap her hands on his desk. "You can't just make these changes and not inform me about it! Do you know how expensive that was?!" She accuses, and he shrugs, noticing something move behind her, milky glass front of his office hiding what's going on inside and outside, only letting shadows be seen if someone's close enough. "I'll text you the invoice later, and you better fucking pay, you asshole!" She says, when she whips her head around, someone opening the glass door.
"Thanks." You tell the office lady having let you in, before your eyes widen, door closing behind you and instantly drowning out all noise except the very slight sound of the fan in the corner of the room.
"Ah, there you are." Jungkook sighs, suddenly feeling a lot lighter as he looks at you. "Come here- is it still raining a lot?" He wonders easily, taking the white plastic bag from you to set it on his table, before giving you a small hug to greet you. "I think that was all you wanted, wasn't it?" He asks Evelyn, who hasn't even gotten up from her seat, instead clearly studying you now.
"Actually, no." She tells him. "And it's kind of private, so it would be real nice if your assistant would leave." She tells you with a smile that reminds you of a snarling dog.
"Then come back a different day." Jungkook answers her however, offering to take your coat from you to hang next to his own on the wall close to the large windows. "Right now I'm really not in the mood for whatever it might be. Especially not with my girlfriend in the room." He bluntly says, and something seems to flash over her face at the mention of your alleged role in his life.
She slowly stands up to take her coat from the back of the chair, movements a lot slower now, a glare sent into your direction. "Don't get your hopes up, sweetheart." Evelyn tells you, slipping into the sleeves of her coat. "His first love will always stay his job." She almost threatens, before she takes her purse and leaves through the door, leaving a confused you, and a clearly exhausted Jungkook behind.
"Please, sit down." He offers, and you do so, watching how he leans back in his chair, hands running over his face before he sits up again. "I'm sorry. That timing couldn't have been worse." He sighs.
"Ah, here. Do you have water here?" You wonder, and he nods, pointing towards a water dispenser in the room. "Oh, fancy." You laugh, walking up to fill a cup to put in front of him. "I take them myself, they usually help really quickly. Not trying to murder you." You tease, and he chuckles, taking the medication and the cup for himself.
"Thank you, really." He sighs out before taking the pill, washing it down with half of the cup's contents before he closes his eyes for a moment. "God I hate her so much." He suddenly breaks out laughing, before he shakes his head, digging through what you've bought for him.
"I assume that was your ex wife?" You wonder, and he nods.
"I'm also really sorry for telling her you're my girlfriend when we haven't even talked about that yet." He tells you a bit.. shyly almost, while you pull the bag closer to take something out for yourself.
"It's fine." You shrug. "Got a nice ring to it, you know?" You joke, and he smiles, starting to eat.
It's quiet, but not oddly so. He enjoys this a lot, this company without any pressure, no eerie sense of something being about to happen. You're clearly here because you want to be, there's nothing you want from him, nothing you need, nothing you could gain from this. It's just what it is, nothing else, nothing to red between the lines.
"You can ask why she was here, by the way." He offers you, wiping his mouth with a tissue.
"I don't have to know." You say, however. "It's got nothing to do with me- right?" You ask, and he nods. "Then it's none of my business. You can rant to me about it, sure, but I can't really give you any opinions on it since I don't really know her, or the situation around you and her." You tell him.
Jungkook watches you for a moment, before he nods. "You're right." He agrees, letting go of the topic entirely for now. He know it's only fair to talk to you about it at some point- but right now is not the time for that, he decides. "Do you want me to drive you home later? I really only have to answer this one E-mail and then I can clock out." He tells you between bites, wiping his fingers before he taps away on his keyboard.
"If it's not a bother, sure." You shrug. "You said you got the weekend off, right?" You ask him, and he nods a bit absentmindedly. "Then how about you stay over?" You ask, and that definitely seems to catch his attention.
"Stay over?" He asks, just to make sure he heard it correctly, and you nod.
"Yeah." You nod. "It's, you know, what boyfriends do with their girlfriends." You tease, making him roll his eyes. "We could cook something, watch a movie. Oh, and one of the lightbulbs in my kitchen broke, so maybe you could fix that for me?" You chirp, and he suddenly smiles brightly to himself, clicking something on his laptop before he shuts it down. "What's that grin for, mister?" You ask, and he just shakes his head.
"Nothing, really." He tells you. "I'm just really happy." He confesses, and you smile the same, now a bit shy.
"Well, what's your answer then?" You wonder, watching him pack the leftovers back into the bag, before he walks to get both his and your jackets, helping you into yours.
"My answer is yes." He says, voice very close to your ear as he leans over your shoulder from behind you, hands on your arms for a second. "I'd love to stay over and fix that lightbulb too, of course.-"
"Since I heard that's what boyfriends do with their girlfriends."
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"There we go." He says, slowly climbing down the plastic kitchen chair you're holding onto just in case. "Anything else while I'm here?" He genuinely asks, and you shake your head, moving the chair back to the small kitchen table.
"No, that was all. Thank you, really." You say, before you move to open the fridge, taking out some things while he stands around with his hands in his pockets. Your apartment is pretty small- living in it together with you would most likely prove to be way too much, but he still thinks it's better than his own, in terms of.. quality.
His own home feels empty. There's nothing in it, it's way too big for a single person, and the view from so high up above the clouds has long lost it's charm to him.
He sits down at the kitchen table, leaning on it a little as he watches you wash some vegetables before you grab a cutting board and a knife. "Daehyun said you're a little lonely without your dog." He says, and you giggle a little, smiling to yourself. "Have you considered getting another one?" He wonders, but you just shrug.
"I'm too busy at the moment." You deny. "I used to bring him to work with me, since he was a very quiet and calm dog, which fit perfect into our office." You remember. "He'd always sleep under my desk, right on my feet. Always kept them warm." You softly say, and he notices that he might've struck a still hurtful topic if only from the sound of your voice becoming somewhat tighter.
"I can imagine. I always wanted a dog too-" He sighs, leaning back. "But.. Evelyn, the woman you saw today, she doesn't like them. So it was out of the question."
"Really?" You wonder, cutting up the vegetables. "I mean, I guess, if both of you were really busy then it probably was for the best." You hum, tension leaving you again. "Gotta look at the bigger picture."
"Yeah, maybe it was for the best." He agrees. To be honest, Evelyn would've probably fought over the dog as well, just like she did over the apartment, and other more petty things like fucking furniture. She wanted to ruin him, if financially then emotionally, and somehow, she somewhat did.
It's quiet again, when you, surprisingly to him, cut into a topic he did not expect.
"His name was Greg." You say, filling a small pot with water before you place it on the stove, turning it on. "You probably talked about him with Taehyung."
"I did." He admits. "But there's not much I know." He offers. "And like you said about my situation, I don't have to know about things that don't concern me. However-" He begins, getting up to now stand closer, find your gaze that's turned downwards onto the cutting board. "-I don't want to accidentally do something that might make you uncomfortable due to past experiences." He says.
"What a tactful way to ask me if I've got any trauma from that guy." You chuckle, moving to put the cut up vegetables in a bowl before you continue the preparations for dinner.
"I'm trying to be gentle here." He attempts to lighten up the mood, and you indeed smile at that.
"And I'm very thankful for that." You offer him, before you sigh, setting down the knife. "I don't.. think we're at a point where I should be dumping all of what happened onto you." You inform him, and he nods, accepting that. "I don't like yelling. If I feel uncomfortable, I'll probably try and get myself out of a situation by any means necessary-" you admit, turning a little to look at him. "-and that will probably include some nasty words thrown your way, if that get's you away from me." You tell him. "And I don't like alcohol. Even if you hand me full on medical evidence that you can't even get drunk, the moment I smell it- I just can't trust you." You say, and he nods.
"Alright, I respect that." He nods.
"I'll also get pretty clingy over time." You add on, making him nod. "And I can be annoying. I'll text you a lot." You continue, and a small smile sneaks itself onto his lips as he shrugs, crossing his arms. "The moment you invite me into your home I'll practically steal half of your closet contents-"
"Is that what he told you?" He wonders, and you grow quiet, eyes avoiding him. "I'm obsessed with my work." He begins his own rant, standing up to walk closer to you. "I never have time for anything else. I'm boring. Sometimes rude, and immature. I'm a perfectionist, but I'm also lazy. I snore, and I work out too much to the point where I'm sweating buckets. I'm a little messy." He tells you, hugging you from behind, though not very intimately- giving you a clear way out if you so want to.
"…is that what she told you?" You answer, and he smiles.
"Let's just agree on getting to know each other just the way we are, not the way someone else described us in the past." He offers, and you nod.
"Alright." You hum, before you push him a little playfully. "Now go and let me cook in here, boyfriend." You tease, making him grin impishly, his tongue running over his bottom lip as he does not walk away from behind you, hands now flat on your ass. "Hey!"
"What? I'm out of your way like this." He tells you almost innocently, hands moving to hold your waist now.
"Sit down there and let me cook!" You laugh.
"But we wanted to cook together, no?" He wonders. "Like.. boyfriend and girlfriend." He leans his chin on your shoulder.
"Well, boyfriends let their girlfriends cook in peace." You threaten, making him chuckle as his fingers squeeze your hips a bit.
"Not if their girlfriend is this attractive." He purrs, making you roll your eyes.
"Jungkook…" You wonder, suddenly way more serious, making his stand up straight again so you can face him. "Is.. that what we are now?" You ask, and his lips part for a second, unsure of his own answer. "I mean, it's fine if we're just playing around. Just.. I'm scared that we might end up in some.. unnecessary drama down the line if we're blurring the lines too much without properly discussing things first." You say.
"What do you mean?" He asks, and you sigh.
"What if you end up calling me.. your girlfriend just as a joke? But I start believing it at some point- thinking we are something serious when we're not. Or the other way around." You explain. "I don't want us to get hurt again. Neither of us."
Jungkook takes a deep breath, and from this close proximity, you can make out two odd dots near his bottom lip you're not too sure of. You might ask him about them some other time.
"Let me take time off of work. Next week, three days." He offers, catching you off guard. "Let's go on a trip. Together. Someplace no one knows us, and we don't know either." He tells you.
"I mean- I would've had friday and the weekend off anyways but-"
"Okay, great, perfect. I'll cancel my Friday meetings." He tells you, hands moving- at first, they seem to attempt to hold your cheeks- but it's like that feels too intimate yet, so he settles for your shoulders. "Let's get to know each other. The real you and me that got.. buried at some point." He offers.
"Why on a trip?" You ask.
"Because it's perfect." He chuckles. "Close proximity of the hotel room we'll share, stress of navigating the unfamiliar environment, the tension of not being able to just 'escape' any uncomfortable situation right away forcing us to talk things out as they happen-" He begins, and your mouth shapes an 'o' as you realize what he's talking about.
"It's a stress-test." You say, and he nods, grinning.
"Exactly." He nods.
"…to be honest you're already stressing me out." You jokingly reply-
Jungkook laughing, and you have a feeling he's not done that in a long time, with the way his ears turn red and his hand covers his mouth in embarrassment of that outburst.
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When Taehyung opens the door, he instantly greets his son who Jungkook has put down the moment he'd noticed the young father arriving at the front door to let him in.
"Oh wow." Taehyung laughs as Jungkook walks in, almost nervously running a hand through his hair. "Is the world ending? Apocalypse? Or am I high?" He jokes, making Jungkook roll his eyes. "No, seriously! I didn't even know you could still put those piercings back in!" He laughs, taking Dae's school backpack to take out his lunchbox so he can sort out the leftovers and wrappers from his snacks.
"It was a bit tricky, I won't lie." He laughs a little. "But they didn't really close all that much since I had them for so long, so it wasn't a big deal." He shrugs.
"What's the occasion?" Tae wonders, throwing the wrappers of Daehyun's snacks in the trash. "You most certainly don't look like you're gonna go to a meeting like that. What happened to 'I'm not in my twenties anymore' huh?" He jokes.
"I'm honestly not sure." He answers, hands in the pockets of his pants. "Just.. felt like it. And I'm not going to the office- I took time off." He confesses.
"Okay, are you running a fever?" Taehyung asks, and Jungkook laughs to himself. "Are you gonna meet up with your.. friend?" He air-quotes, and Jungkook nods, checking the silver watch on his wrist.
"Yeah- we're meeting up later, she's currently packing her things last thing she texted me." He nods. "Our flight is in about three hours from now, but it's her first time flying, so we wanted to be there a bit early just in case." Jungkook shrugs.
"Oh, fancy." Taehyung laughs. "Why though?" He wonders, washing the colorful lunchbox of his son in the sink.
"Stress testing." Jungkook offers. "We just want to see if we can handle each other under pressure." He says, and Taehyung sighs.
"My god Jungkook, can you just once try and not make everything more complicated than it has to be?" He worries. "Just spend time with her. Go out for a coffee or something, watch a shitty movie at home and let her suck you off during the commercial break or something, you know, like NORMAL people!" He whines. "You're acting as if this is some million-dollar business discussion. It's really not." He huffs out in frustration. "Listen, I know Eve fucked you over bad, and honestly you've always had a shit-taste in women to begin with because holy fuck if I think back to Lucy-"
"Can you get to the point?" Jungkook complains, a little embarrassed as his friend brings up his admittedly terrible dating history.
"-yeah, sorry." He laughs. "But, trust me-" Taehyung says, drying his hands before he puts them on his friend's shoulders. "-she's honestly perfect for you. Once you help her get her confidence back up, trust me, you've got yourself someone who's not a raging cunt for once." He finishes his rant, and Jungkook takes a deep breath.
"You think?" He worries, and Taehyung nods.
"I do." He says, patting his friend's back before he leads him to his front door. "Be yourself. And I mean, your real self. Be that goofy dude who cries during disney movies and folds his laundry to Depeche Mode at 3 am."
"Why would I do that?" Jungkook cringes, thinking his friend is joking- but he's surprised to find Taehyung with a soft gaze instead, an encouraging smile on his lips.
"Because that's the Jungkook I know." He offers, a somber look on his face.
"And I miss him."
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"Let me take that." He offers, taking the suitcase from you. It's small, scratched up, and he can't help but notice the stickers on it. "You good to go?" He wonders, and you nod, closing the door before locking it, walking next to him out the apartment building towards his by now familiar car, his own luggage already in the trunk where he puts yours now as well.
The moment you sit next to him inside, is when you notice how.. different he is today. Not only from looks alone- but it feels different, oddly enough. Lighter. Not as serious as he usually is. "I wondered what those.. spots were." You say, looking at him from the passenger side, and he raises his brows while stopping at a red light, turning his head towards you, who points to your own lower lip.
"Ah, yeah." He chuckles, a bit bashful. "I.. got them done in my early twenties. Took them out though, because.. I don't know." He shrugs.
"You don't know, of do you just realize that the reason was stupid?" You giggle, and he sighs, with a smile on his lips however.
"Caught me." He confesses, changing lanes as he makes his way to the airport.
"Why'd you put them back in?" You ask, leaning against the car door a bit.
"Because I wanted to be myself." He explains. "I.. like I said. I want you to get to know me. And not the person I became to please others around me." He tells you.
"I assume your.. ex wife didn't like the piercings?" You ask, testing how far you can pry into his past and how much you can poke until he tells you off. But much to your surprise, he seems rather unfazed by the topic.
"She hated my tattoos as well. Wanted me to get them removed constantly." He chuckles, and you're intrigued.
"You've got tattoos as well?" You ask, and he nods.
"Maybe I'll let you see them later?" He flirts, and you grin to yourself, adjusting your legs a little as you stay quiet. "Either way, Evelyn didn't like a lot about me."
"Then why did she marry you?" You ask, noticing too late how mean that question could come off.
"Probably for my bank account." He simply laughs. "I was.. stupid. I thought she was fixing me." He shakes his head. "I thought she only had my best interest in mind." He says, setting his turn lights to enter the airport parking area. "But she always hated me. Still does." He sighs, searching for a proper parking spot.
"Well, I don't hate you." You tell him.
"Yet." He mumbles, before he finally parks the car, turning off the engine. "Do you have your passport and everything on hand? Don't wanna have to unpack everything in a rush later at check-in." He tries to change the topic, but you look at him with eyes so soft that he becomes scared of them.
"Jungkook." You say his name, and he hates how kind it sounds. "As long as you're not like him, I won't hate you. Honestly, I don't even hate him." You tell him, and he nods a bit stiffly, before practically escaping the car, instead putting on his jacket before helping you take out your suitcase and handbag.
Inside the airport, he notices your nervousness, hand constantly reaching out but never holding on to him at all, in any way. It makes him chuckle a little as he watches you fight with yourself for quite a while, before he helps you check in.
You're clearly a bit overstimulated by everything going on around you, looking around anxiously, biting the inside of your lips constantly, even as you both sit down to wait for your gate to open for boarding. "Hey-" He reaches out to tug your lip from your teeth with his thumb, before he smiles in reassurance. "Okay?" He wonders, and you nod, though you're not looking at him. "Come here. You can hold onto me, by the way, if that helps you." Jungkook suggests, and you move your arms to wrap around one of his, body scooting closer to lean your face against his shoulder, sweater soft against your skin. He moves his arm around your shoulders to keep you closer, hand offering itself for you to hold instead, and you do so, fingers cold. "What's that scar?" He wonders, thumb running over a faint scar over the palm of your hand.
"A shoelace." You say, a little quietly.
"A shoelace?" He repeats, and you nod.
"Yeah." You confirm. "I had.. I was in the midst of changing the laces of.. Gregory's boots, because the dog had chewed them. But he got mad anyways, and pulled them out of my hand." You remember. "It happened really quickly, but I remember that it hurt badly." You chuckle. "It was an odd pain. Like my body couldn't decide whether or not I was burned or cut."
Jungkooks hand on your shoulder starts to move a little in a soothing motion, fingers circling around. It's his first confirmation that something did indeed happen, and he's almost convinced that what you just told him was probably not an isolated incident, but simply one of many that went down during your entire relationship.
"I didn't want him to get mad at Yogi. He already hated the poor dog enough." You sigh, closing your eyes as you settle against Jungkook's side. He enjoys this close proximity, the domestic feel of this moment, even though it's out in public and for everyone to see. He doesn't care.
"You can heal with me, you know?" He says, and you look up at him from where you're leaning against his body. "I can't promise you that.. our time spent will be all smooth sailing, but I can assure you that it will be nothing like what you've experienced." He hums towards you.
And you smile warmly, sighing. "Don't worry-" you giggle, closing your eyes.
"-It already is."
♥━━━━━━━━━━•.♡.•━━━━━━━━━━━━♥
The hotel room is spacious, expensive looking, nothing like you've seen before.
Usually, you only really get to see things like these on vacation photos your friends show you- you yourself don't really travel, you technically don't take time off at all, rather always asking to have your off-days paid out instead if possible. You've got no reason to treat yourself with anything, be it time off or a full on vacation.
Your sense of self worth has shriveled up like rotten fruit over the years, now thrown out like the garbage it is.
Jungkook meanwhile clearly has a routine in him, as he walks through every room first to check if everything's okay, just to then place his bag somewhere near the bed, a big yawn escaping him as he opens the balcony door wide, letting the air of the seaside in. It's odd to see him dressed rather casual, simple but expensive sweater stretching over his broad back. His face still shows the clear stress he's accumulated, and it makes you wonder.
"Do you.. go on vacations often?" You wonder, and he shakes his head.
"No, usually I only fly out for business trips." He explains, watching you sit on the edge of the twin-sized bed. "I originally thought I should book two single beds, by the way. I just.. thought it might be more intimate like this." He tells you, leaning against the small balcony's edge outside, glass door open, as the wind blows through the curtains a little.
"It's okay like this." You nod, making him smile softly.
"Do you want to rest a little?" He asks, and you shrug, unsure. You only have three days- if you sleep now, it's probably annoying to him since he most likely planned something on this trip for you both to do. He at least comes across as someone who likes to have everything set out and structured- not like you, who dives in head first without any real plan. You don't want him to stay hidden inside the hotel room just because you're tired from the flight. "Hey." He asks, and you didn't even notice him squatting down in front of where you sit, his hands on your knees as he finds your eyes from where he's looking up at you. "Don't hesitate to speak your mind. If we want this to work, we need honestly, first and foremost." He encourages, and you nod.
"I'm tired- but I don't want to be boring." You worry.
"How would taking a nap be boring?" he chuckles. "I'm actually glad you're tired. I didn't want to come off as an old man who needs a break because he can't keep up." He laughs, standing up before he moves to lay down on the bed, patting the spot right next to him.
You lay down where he wordlessly suggested, taking in a deep breath while focusing your eyes on the collar of his sweater for a moment. It's when your gaze roams around that you notice something poke out on his wrist as he turns back around from removing his watch from the other arm. Your fingers curiously lift the fabric of the sleeve, making him chuckle quietly, before he moves to push the fabric up to his elbow, exposing different colors of ink underneath his skin.
What was Jungkook like when he was younger? Has he always been somewhat like this- or has he changed into this instead?
"Got them done in my early twenties too." He explains quietly. "Just.. lineart at first. Black and white." Jungkook remembers as he watches you trace some of the lines with your finger. "Then it got more. Over time, it looked a little messy- so I added color to it, this time actually going to a professional who specifies in forming sleeves." He tells you.
"Do you regret them?" You wonder. "Like.. your piercings and your tattoos?" You ask, and he shakes his head.
"It's not like I regret them." He denies. "I still like the look of them. The aesthetic of it. It's just.." He sighs, inked hand turning around palm up, and you put your own on top of his, making him move to compare your hand sizes palm to palm. "..they don't feel like me anymore." He shrugs.
"Maybe because they aren't." You offer, now holding his hand with both of yours, your eyes on the blurred ink underneath the skin. "Maybe.. you changed. Even though you didn't want to."
He did. He knows that he did- but what he struggles with, is the question if he can even go back now. He wants to, but at this point, he feels like he's crossed that line by now, too far to step back and take a different path. Most people around him nowadays only now this Jungkook, not the one he used to be. If he just reverts back to who he once was, will he lose every friendship and connection he's made after he married?
Marriage. The moment he changed.
Love can make someone truly blind to a lot of things. He overlooked so many warning signs, pushed old friends and even family away just because they saw what he did not- or more so refused to. He's not spoken to his own parents in years, by now too ashamed to admit that he'd been wrong for the entirety of his past relationship, that his mother was right about her. What would she think about you?
She'd like you, he's very sure about that. His father would probably be a little suspicious of the age gab, and his brother would most likely tease the living daylights out of him, but he knows you'd fit right in. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? What would they think of him?
He wants to ask you, but the moment he becomes aware and snaps out of his thoughts, your eyes are already closed, breathing even. You're still holding onto him, and he realizes that he's never actually had a moment like this with Evelyn in the past, not even when they were just a regular couple, and definitely not after they got married. He feels.. free. No pressure on him, no obligations awaiting him, nothing needed or expected from him. You're simply sleeping, and yet the act itself makes his pride swell, because of your display of trust towards him.
He knows you've been hurt. He knows that he's been hurt-
And maybe, just maybe, together, you can finally begin heal.
Change once more, for a final time, into a happier version of yourselves.
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midnightcrw · 4 months
Text
Running away
Chapter 6
Opia
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Pairing: Simon Ghost Riley x fem!reader
Summary: Life really had it in for you. Just moving to a new apartment seemed to unleash a brand new hell
Warnings: non (please, tell me if there actually is anything triggering)
a/n: It's been a while since I've continued this story. So please tell me if I messed up anything storyline-wise, as I really hate rereading my own stories (it just gives me second-hand embarrassment). But I still hope that you all will like it.
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"Laswell?"
The moment, her name left your mouth, you were about to slam the door shut. Your hand made its way to the door handle, ready to yank it shut. However, before the door could yield to your command, her hand intervened, stopping the impending closure with a firm grip.
"Running away won't make it disappear," her voice, a resonant sound, cut through the charged atmosphere. Her confident stare bored into you, as if challenging the very notion of avoidance. Laswell was no stranger to confrontation, a fact you knew all too well.
Ignoring any potential response, she invited herself in, rounding the shards of shattered glass on the floor. "I will-" you began, wanting say you were going to throw the shards away first, but Laswell, was more about busisness as the words began to leave her mouth, taking control "You won't do anything. Sit down."
You sighed heavily, you hated it when she was demanding. Especially now, when she just invited herself into your apartment as if she owned it.
But nonetheless, you complied as you made your way to the sofa. Seeing you move, Laswell crouched down to gather the sharp remnants in her hand. And while she was distracted with that, you studied her.
The sight of her stirred a visceral reaction in you. You hadn't expected to see her again after what had happened. It only made sense that the two of you buried the past six feet into the ground. Yet, there she stood, invading your life once more.
And she looked the same as she did that day. Still blonde with a hint of brown mixed in, and the bangs didn't leave either. Only the length of her hair had changed. It had been much shorter then, just under her chin, and now it seemed much longer.
Her eyes were still as strikingly blue as you remembered them to be. Possessing an almost soul-penetrating quality, that's what it felt like to make eye contact with her.
The only differences, were the few wrinkles on her face, probably from all the stress of her life. Just like back then, you thought.
Laswell was known to work herself into the ground, far too goal driven to ever slow down. But that was, what made you two get along. You both shared a common drive, a relentless pursuit of success that, unbeknownst to you, painted a target on your backs.
Pretty much dangerous, though. People knew the two of you would do anything to succeed, and that was your doom. They had their eyes on you from day one, but you just didn't realise it. And the realisation itself came much too late.
"How have you been doing?" The sudden question yanked you out of your thoughts, prompting an involuntary flinch. Laswell had already finished and was sitting next to you at a cautious distance.
"Alright, I guess," you replied, not at all wanting to have a conversation with her, emotions stirred by her unexpected reappearance. You hadn't expected for her to come, and you were more than willing to show your distaste for it.
Hearing your reply, Laswell leaned back a bit, looking you up and down. You had changed since you last left, and it was more than obvious to her why you changed.
"I know that coming here without forewarning isn't pleasant, but I need to talk to you about something," her initial confidence faltered, replaced by a hint of uncertainty. She almost seemed afraid to tell you more, and that made you wary.
In the years of your acquaintance, Laswell had never been the one to show her insecurities, not even to you. "Laswell," you tried to interject, but she interrupted you, and you were beginning to get fed up.
"Call me Kate," and that made you feel some type of way. You hadn't called her by her first name in so long, and it brought back memories that you wanted to leave behind.
You enjoyed her company, you always have, but it's different now. You had cut off contact for a reason, and it seemed that no one would ever respect the boundary you had set. But you pulled yourself together, clenching your right hand into a fist as you let her speak.
Sighing heavily, she looked into your eyes "I know that you're probably going to get angry, but I need you to come back," that was it. Your eyes widened as you scoffed in shock and disbelief.
You could almost started to laugh, that's how hilarious it sounded. "Laswell," you began, dismissing her first name, "you came here just to tell me this? After all these years, you thought I'd return to that hellhole? I thought you knew me better."
Your words dripped with venom, each syllable an assertion of your resolve. "I-" she attempted to speak, only to be silenced by you.
"No, Laswell. I'm speaking now. You came here to bring me back, knowing how much I hate this fucking place. Every single day, I'm left with nightmares, and you walk in here as if you own this place.
I left for a reason. I told you to burn everything down for a reason. Do you know how pathetic it feels to endure each day, knowing it was my fault? Oh, of course you don't know, because all you care about is your profits.
The whole time we were working together, all you cared about was yourself and what you could get out of it." You ranted, almost breathlessly, as you suddenly got up from your seat and walked toward your closet.
Laswell didn't even make a single move in her seat, seemingly ashamed of herself. But you didn't care, you just wanted her gone, and when you finally found the box, you took it and walked towards her.
"Take it, you told me to keep the memories," presenting it to her with a forceful push as the box laid on her lap and you waited impatiently, wanting her to actually open it up and see what you had been carrying with you for years.
Tears welled up and blurred your vision as you blinked them away. Completely frustrated with everything as your hands trembled. "Open it," your voice broke in mid-sentence as you remained standing.
Even Laswell seemed to become emotional as she bit her lip, trying to remain calm. And with shaking hands, she slowly opened the box to look at the contents. You let her look while you averted your eyes and looked at Simon's jacket as you made your way to it.
The conversation was already too much for you, taking the black jacket into your hands as you made your way to your room. You only did this to get some distance from the current situation and for Laswell to take it all in.
The material of Simon's jacket, cradled in your hands, offered a brief respite as you laid it on your bed and looked at it. Memories of the rooftop lingered in the back of your mind. You still had to give it back to him, and you would do so today.
Breathing in and out slowly, you ran a hand over your face in frustration, a headache already making its presence known as you walked back into the living room.
Laswell's eyes scanned the contents of the box, her index finger touching its surface, almost as if to reassure herself, and when she heard your footsteps, her wavering blue eyes met yours upon your return, while you remained standing, leaning against the door frame, arms crossed.
"How did you find me?" You asked quietly, leaning your head against the door frame. You had almost forgotten to ask the most important question, and it bothered you now. Even though you had made sure that no one could find you, Laswell still found her way to you, as if you hadn't moved several times across the country.
Laswell carefully placed the box on the coffee table, the lid resting beside it as the contents were exposed to anyone who wanted to take a look. "Just some research," she said, as if it were the easiest thing she had ever done.
Your nails dug themselves into your arms, probably leaving crescent moon shapes behind as your face grew stern, "Did you tell anyone?"
Your question almost made the woman sitting on your sofa laugh in mockery. She would never do that, and you knew it, but you could never be too careful. "Of course not. I came here on my own," her voice was serious, and she stood up as she approached you.
Your eyes never left her as you watched her hand take a card from her pocket, "Call me if you change your mind or just to discuss what this is about," she said as she took your right hand and placed it in your palm, conveying a silent plea.
With that, she made her way to the door to leave, and before she walked out, she muttered, "I missed you," and with that, she was gone.
You almost wanted to smash your head against the wall in frustration as you looked at the card. It had her name and phone number written on it, having already planned on giving you this as you looked at her handwriting.
It still looked the same, clean and neat as always. You felt the urge to throw it away, but you didn't. You took the card and slapped it unceremoniously on one of the shelves of your bookshelf, causing a few books to fall to the floor with a thud.
"Could this day get any worse?" You wondered in anger as you crouched down to put the books back in their place and heard a knock at your door.
"Come in!" You called, not wanting to walk to the door at all, expecting it to be Laswell, who had probably forgotten something. As you picked up a book, you heard the door open, but no footsteps.
With a furrowed brow, you looked over your shoulder and saw Simon standing next to your sofa. Surprised by his sudden appearance, your gaze dropped to the book in your hands. A blush of embarrassment colored your cheeks as you met his piercing brown eyes.
"You're probably here for your jacket. Sit down if you want, I'll get it once I put the books back on the shelf," you muttered as you picked up the books from the floor, only the sound of the sofa being crushed indicating that Simon had sat down.
It was quiet inside of your apartment, almost being uncomfortable as you had a frustrating conversation with Laswell and Simon coming in wasn't something you had planned at all.
Getting up from your position on the floor, you quickly put the books back on the shelf, wanting to be left alone as soon as possible, and with that, you made your way to your bedroom with slow and steady steps.
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It was the first time that Simon saw your apartment, he looked around the place to find you crouched on the floor and when you told him to sit down, he made his way to your sofa and complied.
His eyes wandered around the place and found their place on the box that laid open on the coffee table, he wanted to look away, he didn't want to pry into your private life, but he couldn't.
The box was filled, but there were two things that caught his eye, widening a fraction as he examined the pieces.
On top was a dog tag with your name engraved on it and a picture of you with some other people and a familiar face. You were dressed as people in his profession would be, and Laswell was standing next to you. Her arm was around your shoulders as you leaned against her with a smile on both your and her face.
The more he looked at the dog tag and the picture, the more his eyebrows furrowed as several questions found their way into his mind.
But before he could delve deeper into the box in front of him, your returning footsteps echoed through the room. With that, he rose, putting a respectful distance between himself and the box.
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When you came back, you were surprised to find Simon's piercing brown eyes. He's really quiet when it comes to moving around, you thought.
Simon, dressed in his usual black attire. His hood cast a shadow, partially hiding features that held a peculiar allure. The mask that hid his slightly crooked nose and his full lips with the scar etched on the left side of his mouth. His face was still imprinted in your memory from the previous night, and you could not forget it.
Pulling yourself out of your thoughts, you held up his jacket and muttered a "thank you" as he took it in his hands.
Simon nodded in subtle acknowledgement. His gaze lingered on you for a moment, almost examining you, before he left without saying a word. The door closed behind him, leaving a lingering sense of unresolved tension.
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Taglist:
@ghostlythots
@kittyoonsstuff
@poohkie90
@gothgirl6-6-6
@jupiternighties
@lumineeye
@originaldeerhottub
@undercover-smutlover
@chloeforde
@nightlyvoids
@iiinkstain
@ihrtgw
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pocketramblr · 5 months
Note
Inspired by the 'Tenya is All mights son', what about an AU where Shouto is a result of Rei having an affair with All might? For maximum drama Shouto still has half hot half cold.
1- "where the hell did the hot half come from" Toshinori's mother had a fire quirk. He got his quirklessness from his father. The fire skips generations but everyone is hot I guess. Maybe that's why Toshi's vestiges is flame-y.
2- Shoto is born with a mess of white and golden hair, like a little candle flame. One blue eye and one grey, and Enji would never suspect his wife cheated on him... Surely this kid will just have a mild fire that hopefully won't be too much for an icy constitution. This is Rei's fourth child. It seems all attempts have failed. Enji withdraws to work. Touya's half mad that his little brothers were too useless to get their father's attention back where he was, half glad that they've all be thrown aside.
And then Shoto turns four, and he doesn't just hold a warm flame in one hand, but a sharp icicle in the other. His blue eye seems to glow when he's alight, and there's clear power in the quirk. After a few days of trying, Enji actually comes out of the office to see what his youngest is trying to show him, and is almost afraid to believe what he sees. He doesn't want to wake up from the dream he had all but abandoned, and he's cautious, careful with training... at first.
3- Shoto, who's already bonded with his siblings, does not like to be pulled away from them now that he's not useless anymore, and he will say so loudly and at great length. It shames Enji... At first. Rei does her best but has long since realized who her son's father is. That there was any fire at all baffled her, but she can't reach back out and ask All Might. She can't even stand to see the heroes face on the news, or on the toys Shoto asks for. Her children assume her hatred grew with Enji's actions about his own. The pressure builds. Touya almost kills himself and Shoto in training one day when Enji is at work, and Rei is injured trying to stop them. At the hospital, she has a breakdown about how she hesitated, how she thought about if the house burned down there'd be nothing left of her children, no evidence of her own or of Enji's wrongdoings. Touya and Shoto return from the hospital. Rei does not. A nurse looks at Shoto's blood type, and then Touya's, and says nothing.
4- Training slows again, at first. Until Touya leaves, eighteen and burning up, and takes Natsuo with him. (Natsuo insisted. He already finished middle school, who cared more than that. Fuyumi can take care of Shoto, but none of them should be left alone, like Mom) Then Shoto continues training, refusing to use his fire. Fuyumi, her mother's secret keeper, who only knows because Rei wasn't seeing her when she spoke, burns to tell her brother the truth. But she can't. She waits, and when Shoto gets into UA and the news breaks that All Might will be teaching there, she nearly collapses.
5- so does Toshinori ever figure out that beautiful woman was in fact Endeavor's wife- yeah actually he did, Rei told him the morning after that she was married and apologized profusely then vanished, and he saw her a few years later on his arm at an event. He has said nothing but assumes this is the reason Enji hates him. He doesn't realize until the SF that Enji believes Shoto to be his son, even with the blond hair, and wonders if that's because of the fire but then realizes that Enji truly knows nothing. So, after the SF, Toshi decides the first person who deserves to know the truth is Shoto and pulls him aside, telling him that once, about sixteen or seventeen years ago, he knew a woman who turned it to be married- Shoto interrupts and asks if that's Izuku's mother, and if Izuku told All Might that he was on to him. Toshi, confused, says no- it's another student. He explains more. Shoto is in shock. He leaves school in the middle of the day and goes to the hospital to see his mother for the first time in years. The only thing he can ask is why she didn't tell him. He doesn't leave until visiting hours are over, the hospital staff called Fuyumi to come pull him from his mother's arms because they can't.
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monstersandmaw · 2 years
Text
Male werewolf x female character (Gabe & Odessa) - Part Eleven (nsfw)
Disclaimer which I’m including in all my works after plagiarism and theft has taken place: I do not give my consent for my works to be used, copied, published, or posted anywhere. They are copyrighted and belong to me.
Thank you for your lovely words and enthusiasm on the last part! It made me so happy to hear how much you all seem to adore these two as much as I do. I hope this chapter makes you happy too.
Odessa has had quite the time of it lately, and she deserves all the nice things, and Gabe, who has been living as a heretofore contentedly unattached werewoofer in the woods for ten years, also deserves to have a good time.
__
Part One (sfw), Part Two (sfw), Part Three (sfw), Part Four (sfw), Part Five (sfw), Part Six (sfw) Part Seven (sfw), Part Eight (sfw), Part Nine (sfw), Part Ten (sfw)
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“Gabe?” Odessa mumbled, shifting sleepily against him.
She’d had her head resting on his chest since they’d finished their pizza, and the lights from the TV cast flickering patterns on the wall while she let it all wash over her. In the wake of the day’s events and revelations, she’d crashed, and Gabe had let her curl up beside him while he hooked an arm around her shoulders and pressed soft kisses into her hair. It had been blissful beyond words.
“Mmm?” Once more he nuzzled her hair with his nose before pressing another kiss there, inhaling deeply as if he couldn’t get enough of her scent. The solid warmth of his body against hers grounded her in a way she’d never experienced before, and she never wanted to move from that spot on the sofa.
“Do you have to go?” she asked.
Her small, barely-articulated question hung in the air a moment.
He inhaled, held it, and then sighed it out slowly. His breath warmed the top of her head where his nose was still pressed against her. “I should check on the dogs and settle them,” he said. “But… I could grab some clothes and a toothbrush while I’m there if you’d like me to stay?”
“You’d come back afterwards then?” she asked.
“Yeah.”
With a sleepy smile and a belly full of starchy pizza, she pushed herself reluctantly to her feet and felt his gaze heavy on her back as she crossed to put the plates in the sink. “I’d love you to stay, but… if it’s going to be a bother with the dogs…”
“They can take care of themselves for a short while just fine,” he said. “I’ll leave my truck here though.
The way he said it told her that Gabe thought its presence would deter Jake if he came back, and she couldn’t find any argument against it.
Leaning back against the counter, she asked, “You think there’ll be trouble?”
Perhaps hearing her heartbeat rise, Gabe shook his head and got to his feet. “Just being overly cautious, I guess.” And with that headed towards the door to put his boots back on. “I’ll be no more than an hour, I promise.”
Odessa nodded. “Can I kiss you before you go?”
His smile brought dimples to his cheeks. “Always.”
Gazing up into his eyes a moment later, she paused and said, “Show me again?”
Gabe’s breath hitched audibly, but a second later, his eyes flared bright gold and she stared openly.
Slowly, she brought her fingertip to his dark eyebrow and traced the length of it, then down over his temple to the hinge of his jaw, at which point he parted his lips a little, leaned down, and took her face in both his hands.
The kiss started out tenderly, and almost chaste, but in only a few seconds, Gabe moaned and deepened it. He growled under his breath while he kissed her, the sound rumbling in his chest and throat, and she bucked her hips instinctively against him. Her fingers grabbed his waist and his chest heaved.
He drew back with a gasp and a laugh and closed his eyes. Resting his forehead against the top of her head, his hands still on her face, he trailed his thumbs across her cheeks. “Odessa,” he whispered. That one word carried so much emotion; so many things he wanted to tell her.
“We should probably stop before your walk home gets uncomfortable,” she mumbled, dropping back down off her toes. He was already half-hard if what she’d just felt was anything to go by.
When Gabe opened his eyes and looked down at her, golden eyes met dark brown. “Bit late for that,” he laughed and turned away, fingers fumbling noticeably on the latch behind him. “One hour,” he said. “And you call if he shows up.”
“I will. I hope it won’t come to that though. He’s a coward, and he knows he’s lost.”
“He’d better,” Gabe snarled into the night as he strode out of the door and down the cabin’s steps. He paused while she closed the door behind him and lingered until he heard the click of the lock before leaving.
Odessa looked around the empty room and her gaze snagged on the two empty beer bottles sitting companionably on the table. She smiled, left them where they were, and went to get ready for bed.
It was only as she came out of the bathroom in just a towel that she realised the significance of the fact that she’d asked Gabe to stay over. In her one-bedroom cabin.
The reality of the situation hit her but she felt nothing but excitement, even if it was tempered with a touch of apprehension. It shook her to realise how much her relationship with Jake had knocked her self confidence — her belief in herself, her sense of self-worth. Gabe was gorgeous, and he was sweet and caring and funny. And a werewolf, apparently. It was hard not to feel crushingly ordinary next to that. And besides, she had no sexy lingerie with her — lace and hiking didn’t mix too comfortably after all — and her pyjamas had cupcakes on.
“Well… shit,” she laughed, looking at them where they lay in a rumpled pile of unfolded fabric on the bed. “Well if I can love a werewolf, he can overlook my questionable tastes in nightwear.”
She was a chapter into her book when she heard the knock at the door. Fear flooded her instantly and she froze for a good five seconds, hardly daring to breathe, ears straining for the slightest sounds above the whispering forest outside and its creaking trees in the night. Finally, she coaxed her body into moving and she pulled back the duvet.
She walked barefoot through the cabin in her ridiculous cupcake pyjamas and came to an unsteady halt at the front door. It had only been about forty minutes since Gabe left. Visions of Jake standing there, perhaps drunk or full of impotent fury, filled her imagination.
“Odessa?”
Odessa fairly collapsed in relief at the sound of Gabe’s voice on the other side and she hurried to let him in.
When the door swung open she was surprised to find that his short, dark hair sparkled with tiny raindrops and the shoulders of his scruffy old jacket were dark with drizzle. He paused when he caught her expression, misreading it completely. “Still ok with this?” he asked. He had a small and mostly-empty duffel bag over one shoulder. His fingers tightened around the strap. “If you changed your mind about me staying, especially after… you know. I understand…”
Odessa shook her head and stepped aside to let him in. “Not at all. I just freaked myself out for a second before I knew it was you. Were the dogs ok?”
He smiled and levered off his boots, careful not to knock mud and pine needles off onto the floor beyond the scratchy doormat.
“Yeah.”
“I can’t wait to see them again,” she confessed. “I mean, I know they’re not pets, but they’re so gorgeous, and…” she paused and took a deep breath before shrugging. “They obviously mean a lot to you.”
He hitched a lopsided smile and reached out to take her cheek in his free hand. He pressed a kiss to the side of her head that left her tingling all over and said in a voice that was surprisingly rough, “Yeah. They do. Come back with me tomorrow and we can have breakfast at mine. I can’t cook much, but I can make a mean pancake.”
“Perfect.”
Letting go of her to shrug out of his jacket and hang it beside the door, Gabe asked, “Do you want me to sleep out here?”
“You’re not a guard dog,” Odessa scowled. And then her exact choice of words hit her and she bit her lip, eyes going wide, hand covering her mouth.
Gabe gave a huge snort and then began to laugh. It was a deep, rich sound that came from his belly and bubbled out of him to fill the room with a truly joyous sound, and her cheeks flushed hot.  
“I’m sorry,” she said, heart hammering. “I didn’t mean… I just…”
Before she could react, he strode back to her and hugged her. He kissed her on the top of her head, still laughing, and said, “It’s ok. But now that you know about me, you’re only allowed one dog joke a day.”
Odessa stilled.
“Odessa?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m kidding.”
“…right. Not gonna lie, you had me for a second there.”
He chuckled again and kissed her head. “Seriously though, where do you want me to sleep?”
“It’s not the biggest but if you’re ok with it, I’d like you to stay in my bed. I’m not… I’m not sure I’m up for… you know… tonight,” she said, face darkening from pink to crimson, “But…”
“Odessa, you’ve just had the day from hell. The last thing I’m gonna do is pressure you to have sex with me. I just… I just want to be here for you. Maybe hold you a bit…”
Tears prickled at the edges of her lashes and she blinked rapidly to bat them away. “Thank you for saying that.”
“Come on,” he said. “I’ll just go brush my teeth.”
“I hope it wasn’t my pyjamas that made you decide against sex,” she muttered as she led the way into the bedroom.
Gabe snorted again but the sound was warm and friendly and honestly delighted. “If anything was going to make you unattractive to me, it wouldn’t be those.”
“Really?” she said over her shoulder with raised eyebrows. “Oh of course. It’s the cupcakes, isn’t it? You’re a cupcake fiend.”
“Yes, Odessa,” he deadpanned. “It’s the cupcakes.”
She was still laughing quietly to herself when he emerged from the bathroom five minutes later, though the sound died when she saw him in just his black boxer briefs and her jaw went slack.
“Holyshit,” she whispered before she could bite it back.
His body was lean and tanned and toned in the way of someone who spent their whole life outdoors and on the move. He had a noticeable t-shirt line at the top of his biceps and she could see where he wore shorts in the summer, but it somehow suited him. With shoulders honed from chopping wood with an axe, back and torso banded with muscle from hauling heavy backpacks around and maintaining the national park, and legs built to hike for days, Gabe was the picture of everything she found attractive, and he wore it all with a shy smile and kind eyes.
“I… can put a t-shirt on if you’d prefer?” he asked, faltering in the doorway. “I packed a clean one. Werewolves tend to run on the warmer side though.”
“Absolutely not. I forbid you to wear clothes ever again. Get in here.”
Unexpectedly, Gabe blushed. His cheeks turned red and his ears went pink and he looked at the floor as he came around to the left side of the bed which she’d left clear for him.
As he slid in beside her and she let the duvet drop, she felt the heat washing off him already and smiled. He lay down on his back and glanced over at her before looking away again. “Thank you, Odessa,” he said, eyes fixed on the wooden boards of the cabin’s ceiling.
“Shouldn’t that be my line?” she countered with a little shuffle to get comfy on her side, facing him. In the glow of the single lamp behind her, she stared at the sharp jut of his Adam’s apple and the way the white and grey flecks in his beard and hair caught the light. He had beautiful, long eyelashes too, she noted from that angle. “You got me out of a shitty situation, drove me back here, took care of me, shared your food with me, and then offered to stay the night…”
The corner of his mouth twitched but he didn’t look at her. “Thank you for giving me a chance after you found out what I am. For not… bolting or… I don’t know.”
“I’ve scheduled my freak-out for ten o’clock tomorrow,” she said and he laughed quietly, tension dissipating. “Mind if I cuddle you non-stop til then?”
“Not in the least,” he said, shuffling so she could rest her head on the hollow of his shoulder. They both let out a long, quiet moan when she pressed her body against his side and looped her arm across his torso.
“You are warm,” she smiled, pressing a kiss to his bare skin. Again, his breath caught audibly and he swallowed. “It’s nice.”
“You won’t be saying that in the summer,” he said, and then immediately tensed when he realised he’d suggested something much more involved than a simple night in her bed.
“If I get to hold you like this in the summer,” Odessa said, pressing another kiss to his pec, “Then I won’t have anything to complain about. I’ll just have to take my clothes off too.”
Gabe snatched a quick, shallow inhale and then curled his arm to pull her so tightly against him that she practically rolled on top of his chest. He half rolled over to meet her and hugged her fiercely.
Exhausted, Odessa fell asleep like that in five minutes flat.
She woke in the dark on her other side, with heat all along her back and a tight pressure around her middle. For a disorientating moment, she thought she was back in the city, but after blinking for a few seconds, she remembered where she was and exactly who was cuddling her so tightly to his chest that she could barely breathe.
From behind her, she heard him take a longer inhale and mumble, “Y’lright?”
Gabe’s voice was thick and scratchy, and a good few notes deeper than usual, and it made something come loose and uncoil inside her chest. She brought her hand up to cover his own where it was pressed against her chest while he formed a perfect big spoon behind her, and she kissed his fingers at the knuckle. “Yeah. Sorry I woke you.”
“Mmph,” he mumbled and nuzzled the back of her head. He was asleep again in seconds, and she wasn’t far behind him.
When dawn light snuck in around the thin curtains, Odessa surfaced slowly from sleep and became aware of Gabe in an entirely different way.
He was still pressed against her, but this time she was lying on her back and he was half draped across her, one arm around her middle, the other under his head, and his hips were grinding with aching slowness against her thigh and hip. He breathed heavily against her neck, beard scratching her skin, and she glanced awkwardly down to peer at his face. His eyes where shut but his jaw was softly parted and he moaned softly every now and again. “Odessa,” he mumbled, rolling his hips again so that she felt every inch of his hard cock against her through the fabric of her pyjamas.
In an instant, her whole body came alight with want, and a long-dormant desire bloomed inside her.
She kissed his head and he stilled, waking abruptly. The moment he realised what he’d been doing in his sleep, he twitched away from her onto his back and blurted, “Shit, m’sorry…”
“I don’t mind,” she smiled.
For a while he just lay there, his breathing quick and shallow. Then, shooting her a sidelong look, he smiled shyly. “Haven’t been this worked up in the morning since I was a teenager,” he said with a self-deprecating laugh. “I’m so sorry.”
“For wanting me even in your sleep?” she grinned, rolling to lie along the length of his body with one thigh hooked over his. He groaned at the contact, jutting his chin upwards and closing his eyes, and she pushed her hips against him for emphasis. “Don’t be sorry for that.”
With a quiet, rumbling growl, he reached his hands out and grabbed a delicious handful of her arse. His upper lip pulled back on one side and he growled like an animal as he squeezed appreciatively. “You’re gorgeous,” he gasped, kneading the softness of her body with his fingers, driving them into her muscle hard enough to make her gasp and buck.
“I want you,” she whispered.
“I know,” he said. “I can smell it on you.”
“You can?” That would take some getting used to.
“Mmm,” he hummed, rolling them both so that she lay on her back again and he splayed half atop her. He shifted so he could press his nose against her exposed collarbone and raked his teeth over her skin before leaving open-mouthed kisses there. “I can smell it. I can taste it. Odessa, you’re perfect…” he whispered against her skin. His hips ground his hard cock against her thigh again and they both let out a rough exhale.
Helpless, and suddenly swept under by a rush of pure, erotic want, Odessa arched her back. “Gabe… touch me.”
“I am,” he smiled, his hands running up and down the length of her body.
His cock still pressed hard against her but this time he didn’t move. It wasn’t nearly enough. The fabric of her pyjamas was too much of a barrier between them and she desperately wanted it gone. “Please?”
“Off,” he said, tugging at the waistband. She hitched her hips up and let him tug everything off in one go before sitting up and pulling off her top as well. Her hair came tumbling around her shoulders in unruly waves and she shoved it back out of her face.
Gabe stared at her for just a second before bringing his left hand to cup her right breast, kneading gently, rolling her hardening nipple between finger and thumb before leaning in and mouthing and nipping at her left  side until she shuddered and fell back into the pillows.
Odessa felt like he devoured her in the long minutes that followed.
She lost herself to the wandering pleasure of his hands and mouth until he eventually slipped his fingertip between her parted legs and she bucked wildly at the sudden sharp relief it brought.
“You’re so wet,” he whispered, sliding between her folds and circling her swelling clit. “Odessa you’re so wet.”
“For you,” she hissed, head thrown back. “Oh God, Gabe…” she added with a bitten off yelp as he nudged her clit and pressed the pad of his finger against the underside of it. Pleasure sparked across her skin and shot through her nerves, lighting her up all over from the inside out. In the past few months, she’d hardly felt like touching herself there, but now as Gabe drew tiny, teasing circles over and over before trailing his touch through the wetness that gathered there, only to start all over again, she couldn’t get enough of it. Her whole body shuddered and heaved, and he took every sound she made.
“You’re going to make me come,” she panted when he slid his fingers deeper inside her and pressed, all the while keeping his thumb’s attention on her clit. Tension ratcheted up through her muscles at the combination of light pressure on her clit and deep, slow, circling pressure inside. It started in the arches of her feet and worked up her calves to her shaking thighs, up her heaving torso, to her neck and down her arms until her whole body was taut as a piano string and thrumming. “Oh God…” she choked. “Oh my God… oh my God…” She chanted it over and over, lost in the barrage of new and excruciatingly beautiful sensations. “Gabe, I can’t… I’m —”
“Come,” he murmured, kissing her stomach. “It’s ok. Come for me Odessa. You can come for me.”
And she shattered. A great, heaving wail left her and she arched, convulsing and shaking against his hand as her mind went completely blank. It was probably the least elegant she’d ever been during climax, but it was heartfelt and honest and that alone almost made her weep. He’d done it just for her; his touch had been for her ecstasy. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d come like that, and no one else had ever made her come like that, she was sure.
Trembling and shaking, she tried to catch her breath while he stayed with his touch pressed deep against her, easing her through it. Finally she cracked an eye open and looked down to find him staring up at her with his eyes a bright, supernatural gold.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, awe in his voice.
She had to smile. “I want you,” she said, and to her surprise, he faltered.
“I… I don’t have a condom,” he grimaced. “I wasn’t expecting… and it’s… it’s been a long time since I’ve… yeah…” he finished with an awkward shrug. “I don’t actually have any at home.”
“I think I’ve got one in my wash bag in the bathroom,” she said, still a little breathless.
She grunted as he withdrew his fingers from her a moment later, but she stared openly when he slid them into his mouth. His eyes fluttered closed as he tasted her and she bit her lip, astonished.
When he opened his eyes again and found her staring, he flushed a little. “What?”
She didn’t know how to tell him that Jake had never wanted to put his mouth anywhere near her, let alone lick the taste of her from his hand like she was something to be savoured. When Gabe read the nature of her thoughts in her expression though, he growled and lowered his hand. He put his palms on her thighs and leaned down, kissing down the softness of her stomach to the crease at her hips and then he spread her legs with his hands and kissed her sensitive clit.
She sucked in a breath as pleasure sliced and skittered through her again, and she parted her legs a little more. Gabe laved his tongue over her and sucked gently at her tender clit, his tongue pushing at it from underneath in a way that made her legs go limp and her heart race. “Oh my God, Gabe,” she gasped, suddenly boneless.
“Too much?” he asked, barely raising his head from her.
“No?”
He smiled, looking a little dazed himself, and said, “Tell me if it is.”
No one had ever done this for her, and the intimacy of it shook her.
She felt pried-open and exposed and vulnerable, but the way he held her with his arms underneath her thighs while he pressed his mouth against her, pulling her closer to his face, moaning and working his tongue over her, suckling and circling her clit repeatedly until she shuddered and shook and couldn’t stop, made her feel held and valued and… adored. Tears leaked from the corners of her eyes as she felt a second climax racing towards her. “Gabe, I’m going to come again,” she panted, wondering if he’d want to pull back.
If anything, her words focused him. He closed his lips over her clit and sucked gently, tongue moving all the while, and she let it take her completely when he slid two fingers inside her to the hilt, crooked them, and let her come around them. “I want you, please,” she sobbed through the last, breathless throes of her orgasm. “Please. I got tested, by the way, and it all came back fine. I should have said that sooner, obviously, but I got checked after I found out that Jake was —”
Gabe growled and his grip on her tightened for just a heartbeat. “Don’t say his name,” he said. “I don’t want you to have to think about him now.”
She laughed and felt her body go slack again as the last aftershocks faded and Gabe sat back on his heels. His short beard glistened slightly. “I’m not thinking about him,” she said. “I’m thinking about you and what you just did. No one’s ever done that for me, you know?”
His golden eyes darkened as his pupils soared wide and dark. “I’d gladly do it for you every day,” he smiled. “You’re beautiful. And you come so beautifully too,” he added.
She let her gaze drop to the tent in his black boxer briefs and saw a wide dark spot in the fabric there. “What do you want, Gabe?” she asked.
“You,” he said immediately. “But I don’t have to be inside you. Werewolves don’t catch or carry human diseases, but like I said, I don’t have a condom.”
“I’m on birth control,” she said quietly. “I want you inside me.”
His eyes rolled back a little at those words and he let out a deep groan of pleasure. Stepping off the bed, he shucked out of his boxer-briefs and she couldn’t help but stare at him. His cock was hard and flushed, and she felt her core clench at the sight of him. His tip glistened, foreskin already sliding back with his arousal, and it twitched under the weight of her gaze. He wasn’t huge, but she knew she’d feel every inch inside her.
Gabe climbed back onto the bed and paused beside her, looking into her face with a tender smile. He leaned down and with a fingertip, he gently lifted a strand of hair out of her eyes, then he ran his fingers down her cheek and dragged them over the centre of her lips. He didn’t stop there, trailing them down her throat and between her breasts before he circled her nipples with his thumb. The blunt nail scratched just enough to draw a tiny grunt of pleasure from her before he continued down, splaying his fingers wide and pressing his palm into her soft stomach. She wanted to feel self-conscious, but she didn’t. She felt powerful and beautiful and so desperately alive under that gaze.
He moved slowly, reverently, and rested his hand against her hip for a moment. It was as though he were steadying himself; grounding himself with her body. Then he dipped his finger a little way inside her heat again and exhaled roughly. “You’re sure?”
She nodded and lifted her leg to let him slide more easily into her.
He let out another ragged breath, lined the tip of his cock up with her entrance and pushed just a little way in. “You’re so tight,” he gasped, head bowing forwards.
In response, she moved her bent right leg higher, opening herself to him, and he slid carefully all the way inside. A long, low groan left his lips and he halted there, breathing and holding her right leg in his left hand for a moment, again, as though to tether himself.
“You’re perfect,” he whispered, kissing the inside of her leg. “God, you’re so perfect. You’re so hot and tight…”
“Gabe?”
“Mm?”
“Move?”
He laughed and rolled his hips back so that he slid almost all the way out. Then he rocked against her again and moaned. For a while, he just repeated the motion, sliding in and out with torturous slowness while she got used to the intrusion, though she was tempted to suspect that the pace had more to do with stopping himself coming immediately than her pleasure this time.
“You’re so wet,” he rasped. “Odessa, you feel so good.” Then he opened his bright gold eyes and looked up at her face. “Is this alright?”
Tears blurred her eyes as she smiled and nodded. “Yeah,” she choked. “It’s perfect.” It really was. Sex had never been something she craved or particularly enjoyed — certainly not in her last relationship — but this felt like something else entirely. There was something sacred to Gabe’s reverence; each breath that passed between them a prayer; a hope for something more.
He halted, his cock almost all the way out of her again, and she nearly sobbed at the loss of pressure inside.
“Don’t stop,” she gasped. “Please… I need…” and she did. She needed him. She needed to feel him moving inside her. She needed the feel of him filling her so completely there wasn’t room for anything else in her mind but his presence. It was a need she had never experienced before and the raw suddenness of it almost consumed her. “Please, Gabe, I need you. Please… please…”
Gabe didn’t need telling again. Each slow thrust of his hips rocked the bed, sending the wooden headboard clunking against the wall. Although he barely sped up, he soon began to breathe more heavily, his hands going to her hips to anchor her in place while he pushed all the way inside her. His balls caught against the soft skin behind her entrance with each stroke and she whimpered with pleasure, pulling her legs up further and crossing her ankles behind his back to change the angle.
“Fuck, I’m so deep,” he grunted on the first slide at that new angle. He took her right leg in his hands and straightened it, resting her calf against his chest and her ankle on his shoulder. “Is that ok?”
“Yeah. Oh God, that is deep.”
“Too much?” he asked.
“No. Perfect. Oh my God…” With the pressure building inside her again, stoked by each thrust of his hips, she knew she was going to come again, and that it would be the biggest yet.
Gabe stared openly at her with his yellow eyes and growled, kissing her ankle and then leaning forward, stretching her until she thought she might break from how good it felt. She cried out as he caught her deep, her fingers scrabbling at the sheets beneath her and Gabe’s self control seemed to fray. He didn’t get any faster, but the growing power behind each slow, deep stroke knocked the breath from her lungs.
“You can go faster if you want,” she said, surprising herself with how wrecked and winded she sounded. To be fair though, she was almost bent in half.
“Won’t last,” he grunted. “Want to last a little longer.” He turned his head slightly and rubbed his cheek and jaw against her calf. At the sharp nip of teeth, she opened her eyes again and watched him rake his canines along her skin. They’d grown bigger and thicker than they had been before, and she felt the prick of claws against her skin. “Fuck,” he hissed. His pace picked up then, turning from slow to almost frantic as he chased his release. “Oh fuck, I’m close, Odessa. I’m so close. You’re so perfect. I’m… I can’t hold off any… any more, I’m —”
She clenched her muscles around his cock and he was done for.
He came with a snarl through gritted teeth, eyes rammed shut, hips pushed flush against her, and he emptied himself into her.
There was no question in that moment that Gabe wasn’t entirely human.
Dark, sharp claws extended from his fingertips in place of neatly-trimmed nails, and the rictus snarl of ecstasy revealed longer, broader canines like fangs. She knew that behind his tightly-shut eyes, those irises glowed golden. Odessa had never known that there were beings out there like Gabe, but that moment felt so right, so perfect, so complete, that she knew it was everything she would ever want.
While Gabe was still coming, she shattered a third time, coming around his cock while he was still buried deep inside her, and he threw back his head. For a wild moment, she thought he was going to howl, but he just let his jaw hang slightly soft, lips parted, eyes screwed shut, and he clung to her right leg with his clawed left hand. Gasping, and with a few last stuttering thrusts against her, he finished and half collapsed. His grip on her leg slackened and she lowered it down to the bed, allowing him to lie atop her, breathing hard.
“Alright?” he whispered between shallow, snatched breaths. She could feel his heartbeat thundering.
“Mm.”
“Tell me if you need me to move,” he managed.
“I will.”
For a long time, neither of them moved. Eventually, Gabe began to soften, and she felt some of his release slide down onto the sheets, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. Even that felt right. She slid her hands up his lean arms and raked her nails in idle patterns over his shoulder blades while he just lay there and breathed in the scent of her. From time to time he shuddered, the motion going right through him, down his entire body, and at one point his breathing became so soft she thought he was falling asleep.
“Gabe?”
“Mm?”
“I think I need you to move,” she said, though her reluctance at the idea rang through her words. Her brain wanted him to stay there forever, but her groaning ribcage had other ideas. “Sorry.”
He smiled and kissed her neck before pushing himself up and back in an easy press-up, and carefully sliding out of her. “Mm, we made a mess,” he said, and ran his fingertips through the slickness that coated the upper part of her inner thigh. He circled his fingers across her hip a little, smearing his come and her arousal across her skin before coming to lie down beside her, resting his head on her pillow.
“Odessa?”
She rolled her head a little to look at him. It was all the movement she could muster just then. “Yeah?”
“You alright? I… I let go a bit more than I meant to there,” he said. “I hope I didn’t hurt you.”
“It was perfect,” she smiled. “Thank you for trusting me with…” the words ‘your secret’ sounded so childish and so insincere. “Everything. For letting me see you like that. I know… I know you said you didn’t intend for it to happen this way, but I’m glad it did.”
“So am I,” he said.
After a pause she asked, “Will you let me see you as Wolf again?”
“I can’t do it now,” he said. “I don’t have a shift in me right now.”
“I didn’t mean now,” she said, stretching a little to kiss the tip of his nose. She smiled when it made him laugh. “Whenever.”
He licked his lips and her eyes tracked the movement.
“Only if you’re comfortable with it…”
He nodded. “Yeah. I will.” After a moment he grimaced and said, “We should probably clean up a bit.”
“Yeah,” she sighed, and then brightened. “Oh!”
“What?”
“You promised me pancakes.”
Gabe’s whickering laugh rolled over her and she grinned at him. “That I did,” he said. “I’ll go grab a shower.”
He was halfway to the door when she rolled onto her side, naked and completely exposed and, for the first time in her life, unabashed. “Mind if I join you?” she called and he stopped to look back over his shoulder.
When he took in the sight of her, obviously posed like that just for his benefit, his eyes flashed and he bit off a growl. “When you look like that, I want to come back there and have you all over again.”
“What’s stopping you?” she smiled.
Gabe stared for a heartbeat longer and then turned and paced back to her like a predator. “Absolutely nothing,” he growled, and tipped her over onto her back.
___
Next Chapter --->
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Hope
Pairing: Hunter x F!Reader 
Words:  11 784 (it was supposed to be a short 2k one shot, well...)
Warning: Angst (you know me, there needs to be a story with an angst if I write it), fluff, canone violance, deaths, a mild smut, if you squint its not even smut really. But yeah please be cautious !, The bad batch (that should always be a warning), Idiots in love, and kissing. 
Summary: Rex asks you to join the Bad Batch in a mission and memories and hidden feeling come back.
A/N: I apologise for my English which I feel is just shit this time. Haven’t written anything in a while and well my written English got a bit rusty :/ I do hope you enjoy it anyways :)
I also post on AO3, if anyone’s interested :) 
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It has been a while since you last saw them. They were a weird bunch, and you met some in your field of work. They were dangerous, skilled, trained but yet still so fun to be around. Something you always thought was impossible for the Clones. There were times when the Republic would use your skills for missions. Normally you were paired with boring Jedi Generals that preferred to follow the rules and orders rather than think and actually enjoy some fun. Of course there were some like Skywaler’s 501th Legion, who actually gave you a laugh from time to time. But nothing like these boys. They were different. They did not care really for any rules nor whatever anyone thought of them and it made it so much easier to work with them. 
Five individuals that somehow were able to work perfectly fine with each other. Well there were four of them, before a Reg joined them, and well the group just became more fun. You always laughed at Crosshair’s annoyance with Regs, but deep down you understood what he meant. But on the other hand, who were you to judge? 
You preferred to work alone. It was easier that way, at least in your field of specialty. Stealth missions were not a group project and you really hated the days when you got a brief to work with the Republic. Even then you opted to work by yourself, hoping the clones and Jedi would not interfere in your business. You were good at what you did, but only if others did not suck. And well these boys never did. And even if they did, it was fun at least. 
“Long time no see boys”, the four of the Clones turned and you couldn’t help the smirk, seeing their faces. Apparently good, old Rex did not dare to tell them who they were going to work with. Your eyes traveled through the group not missing the lack of Crosshair. You knew of his change of mind. Hell, you were even once faced with his new friends and his change of heart. If there was one person you never wanted to fight against, it was Crosshair and his damn Firepuncher. “And girl”, your brow raised when a small girl moved from behind Hunter. She looked no older than 13, with her blonde hair and distinctive golden brown eyes that all the clones had. You heard some rumors, but they were just that. You were sure the 99 would never take a babysitting job, but well, apparently things change. 
Before you were able to add anything else, you were crushed in a big bear hug and lifted above the ground. If you weren’t so used to that already, you would have probably let out a very embarrassing yelp. But you only rolled your eyes and let the man hug you, waiting for him to put you down, hoping he wouldn’t crack any of your ribs. 
“Y/N!” he roared happily, pulling you away shoulder length, smiling at you with this huge, baby-like smile that you had to admit, you dearly adored. “I haven’t seen you for a while!” 
“Yeah it’s been a while, boys”, you smiled softly at the other men, who walked closer. You raised a brow at Hunter’s protective gesture over Omega, keeping her as much behind him as it was possible. It seemed, however, that the girl was a curious little thing. “I guess Rex didn’t spill the name of your new partner?” 
“Who is she?” you heard Omega asking Hunter who seemed to think how to introduce you without telling too much. You smiled softly at the way the girl was looking up to the man. Who would have thought the Hunter would become a daddy. 
“I’m Y/N. It’s lovely to meet you”, you kneeled in front of the girl and smiled at her softly. “I’m some kind of a friend to this batch of troubles.” Omega smiled at that and shook your outstretched hand, apparently accepting the answer. 
“I’m Omega. I’m a Clone as well.” She introduced herself and your eyes traveled up to Hunter for a while, but it was quickly back on the girl. “Are you joining us for the mission?” 
“It appears as that”, you answered, standing up slowly. You took the time to look around the group. They haven’t changed much. Maybe they have become more tired, but that was understandable. You didn’t miss the cut on their heads, which Rex told you about before the mission. It’s not that you didn’t trust them, but knowing the chips are no longer an issue, gives you a bit of ease of mind. “How about we get inside and you can tell me what other information Rex tended to skip.” You moved past them not missing the way Hunter followed you with his eyes. You didn’t blame him, after how you left the last time.  
***
“I thought you never thought of having kids”, he turned towards you with a tired smirk on his lips. The briefing was smooth. Rex was happy to see that you found the Batch with no issue. And well the boys seemed surprised to even see you alive. But seeing both Wrecker’s and Echo’s reaction they were indeed happy to meet with you once again. Tech sent you some encouraging smiles from time to time, but other than that seemed indifferent. Hunter too focused on the mission didn’t really say much, other than it was necessary. Omega on the other hand was too hyped for the mission, which you found actually adorable. 
“She’s not really a kid, you know… More like an addition to the team”, you laughed out loud at that, making him sigh in frustration. “Don’t just don’t, please.” You walked closer and sat next to him. The couch was small, barely fitting two people in it, which led to you touching each other's shoulders involuntarily. 
“You can’t blame me for being curious. There I thought that you and your band of mischief would not be able to surprise me anymore and here I come seeing a happy little family growing.” He raised his brow and you shrugged a glint in your eyes. “I saw Crosshair.” You didn’t plan to get into that topic as quickly, but you preferred to discuss this with him alone, rather than the whole team. You could feel him tense at the revelation. Apparently the topic was still harsh for him. “Something wasn’t right…” 
“Well he works for the Empire now”, his voice was low and tone got dramatically tense. “When was it?” 
“Two missions ago. I still have a memory of it.” saying it you lifted your shirt to show him the scar that was left after your close meeting with Firepuncher. You shivered slightly feeling his finger on your bare skin. Something he missed, or pretended to at least. “It wasn’t the Crosshair I know.” 
“Well apparently none of us truly knew him”, his hand gently covered your stomach, looking straight into your eyes. The first time since you came. “Apparently it's all him, his chip has been removed…” 
“Bullshit”, his eyes widened at your angry hiss. “This is not how Crosshair behaves. He never did. Not to mention that he still truly believed that the Jedi betrayed all of us. He wouldn’t even consider it, if his chip was truly removed.” You looked away and sighed defeated. “At least I want to believe that…” you missed the subtle smile on his lips and the way he looked at you at that moment. 
He was always grateful for how you looked and interacted with his brothers. You seemed like you actually enjoyed their company, which wasn’t as common with the Regs. After all you weren’t a Reg. You weren’t even a Clone, which it was really hard not to notice. He remembered the first time he met you, your first mission with them. They were only told that they will have an additional person joining their team. A special someone with interesting abilities. Cody wasn’t one to happily join them with anyone, so Hunter knew that this someone must have made an impression on the Commander. So when a short woman in an all black armor (if he can even describe it as) he was mildly surprised. The shock stayed with him, when she took down her hood and mask. Hunter wasn’t shy with women, and he did see a list of beautiful ones around the Galaxy, but there was something about you that made his knees a little bit weaker. You were beautiful, nothing special, and yet he couldn’t take his eyes off you. Even the scar that was going through your right brow down to your cheek couldn’t take away the natural charm you had with you. 
Crosshair always made fun of him whenever you joined their missions. In the beginning he was getting annoyed with his snarks, but the more he got to see you and get to know you, the more he hoped that those silly antics would become true. The fact that you seemed to prefer his company over his brothers didn’t help his little stupid crush. You tend to spend the nights talking to him about anything actually. Some talks were deeper than others. He was able to get you to talk about your past, how you became an assassin. After one particular bad mission, that also happened to be your last one with them, he heard you speak of her future, something you always joked was not an option in your field of work. That night was also the night where you both drank way too much, ending the night under the blankets of his bunker. 
“So what were you guys up to ?” Your tone changed and you looked up at Hunter with a soft look, he was very much familiarized with. The one you always gave him when things were too much. “Except for becoming a babysitter.” 
“Actually, Omega is older than us”, he chuckled at your face and leaned over the coach, his arm naturally leaning behind your back. A gesture you always welcomed happily. You leaned towards him and it didn’t take a while for your head to rest on the side of his chest, listening to all the shenanigans they went through after the end of the war. 
***
“They seem close”, Omega whispered to Echo, who smiled softly at the two of you. It wasn’t a secret that Hunter was head over heels for you and seeing the way you looked at him it was the same for you. He was happy for his brother to find some kind of stepping-stone outside of being a soldier. He wasn't sure if anything ever happened or would happen between the two of you, but he was thankful to you for making Hunter happy and relaxed. 
“It’s quite surprising really.” Tech interjected, putting his arm on Omega to see more. It was a fun sight really. Tech who always stayed glued to his pad was curious to see whatever the young girl was seeing. “Their personalities crash like any other. She is reckless, loud and touchy”, Omega giggled at the last word, making even Echo smirk. “While Hunter isn’t well… any of it.” 
“But she’s not like that when she’s working”, Wrecker said, a little too loud for Echo’s liking. But he had to nod at that. It was like there were two of you. The mission you were focused on doing your job right. You were focused, quiet and stern. Like a real assassin. A master of stealth missions. Your hand to hand combat rivaled even Hunter’s which they were able to see on one of the missions with you. You made the poor man sweat, which was an incredible achievement in his books. Probably if the territory favored your way of fighting a bit more, it would be Hunter who would lay on the ground with a knife up his throat. “Seriously kid, watch her on the mission, she’s amazing!” Hearing it from Wrecker might probably was one of the biggest compliments you would get, and both Echo and Tech knew that it was well-earned. 
“So are they together? Like a couple?” To that Wrecker could not help but laugh, shut by both of his brothers with a stern look. “They look like they are.” She shrugged, her eyes not leaving the way you comfortably laid on Hunter with a soft smile on your lips. While Hunter was actually excited while he spoke. His hand was flying around making you giggle. Omega has never seen him like that, but she really enjoyed seeing his brother like that. And deep down she hoped you would stay longer with them, than just that one mission. 
***
“The facility itself isn’t as well secured, but this building here is”, you zoomed into one of the facilities in the back of the whole complex. “It used to be a prison used by the Sepis for the VIPs. Been there around three times. There is a possibility that some of the tunnels had been changed or some even closed. But I’m confident I should be able to navigate in there through the drains.” The Clones looked at the map and you could tell they weren’t sure of the whole plan. It was risky, but hell you had more tricky missions all by yourself. 
“How the hell do you know that place so well?” Echo asked, turning around the holo map to have a better look. They were trying to be safe, which you would expect from them, but they needed to realize that if the mission was about to be successful then they needed to trust you. 
“I had two missions from our old friends. Something the Jedi wanted to keep to themselves.” You shrugged, and started to play around with your little blaster you always carried around hidden away from the spying eyes. Just in case. 
“And the third time?” Tech asked, his eyes on you. You almost felt pride to spike his interest enough for him to look away from his pad and the holo map. 
“I was a… guest there. Those scars on my back are a great reminder of that place.” You can feel the change in shift in the room and your eyes landed on Hunter. He knew the story well, just didn’t know the place and you could see the realization striking him. “I was there for a week. A lot of time to snoop around and remember all the more and less important details.”
“How did you escape?” Omega asked, her curious eyes on you. She was an interesting little fellow, you had to give it to her. You were surprised to find out that she was joining you on the mission, but who were you to talk? She was a part of the team, if Hunter said so, then Omega was coming. 
“Here”, you zoomed in on one of the small tunnels that was rounding the prison cells and the guards section. “Not the cleanest escape, but hey I survived. Couldn’t get rid of the smell for a month.” You shivered remembering the sewer system there. “I can get to the room and get the intel Rex needs and get out of there unnoticed, but I would need you guys to keep any interested parties away from that room for about fifteen minutes after I slip in there.” 
“Quite long”, Wrecker murmured and you knew that if even Wrecker wasn’t sure of the plan then you were losing this fight. You sighed and turned off the holo map, jumping on the shelf, sitting on it comfortably. 
“I’m a decent hacker but not as brilliant as our boy Tech here”, you winked at the clone, who smiled softly at you.
“Then maybe it should be Tech that should go, then?” Wrecker proposed, making you shake your head. 
“Tell me sweetheart, why do you think I wear such shitty armor on me most of the time?” They all raised their brows. You were surprised none of them ever asked you that. “Trust me, it's not a fashion choice. For one I am not built like you guys. I’m not physically strong enough to be able to function with additional kilograms on me all the time. Not to mention my abilities focus on two things. Speed and agility”, you winked at Hunter, who’s cheeks couldn’t get any redder and you didn’t miss the snickers of the boys and an innocent look from Omega, who despite being older than damn still had a soul and a mind of a child. “An armor would affect my speed and my ability to fit into places, including pipes and sewers.” The understanding flushed on their faces. “The reason I am the only one that can go there is because you guys wouldn’t fit. Easy as that.” 
“Then what about me?” Omega interjected, her hands on her hips. In the corner of your eyes you could see Hunter ready to step up and scold the girl, but before that you threw one of your training knives from your bag at the girl who barely caught it. 
“Attack me, Omega. Your skills with your bow are incredible, trust me”, you smiled at her and shrugged. “But taking a shot with a bow takes time. You need to be able to defend yourself as quickly as possible. Show me your knife skills. If you will be able to take my knife away from me, I’ll take you.” Hunter was about to protest, but was stopped by Echo, who just smirked knowing what you were doing. There was no way Omega would be able to do it. No matter how smart she was, right now it was all about experience. 
Omega took a stance that you assumed was a copy of how she saw Hunter doing. You were surprised at the beginning to see her with a bow, assuming Hunter would teach her his ways, but he was fast to explain. 
“Close combat isn’t her thing. Maybe when she gets some experience, now it just doesn’t make sense. A simple waste of time. A time that can go into other studies. “
You smirked and watched Omega run towards you in the simplest way possible. As you were about to stop her, she threw the knife just millimeters from your face, scooting behind you to pick up the knife. You turned swiftly and blocked her attack easily, actually impressed with the plan in action. It was a good idea, maybe if she was a bit more swift and faster she may have put some pressure on you, but for now, you were able to easily stop her attack. A point of your training knife was near her throat and her weapon was in your other hand. 
“Awesome!” She exclaimed, shouting almost. You chuckled and hid both of the knives. “Will you teach me one day? That was soooo awesome!” You turned and kneeled in front of her patting her on the shoulder. 
“As much as I hate to admit, Hunter is much better with knives than I am” Omega’s eyes widened and she turned towards the Clone who rolled his eyes. 
“Someday”, he murmured and she jumped happily walking to Wrecker to high five him for her effort. 
“So what do you guys say? Will you be my decoy?” She searched their eyes, that were on Hunter who wasn't 100% sure of it yet. “How about I take a comm with me?” His eyes widened, knowing how much you hated them. They were a way to compromise your position. He gave up after the fifth mission in trying to make you take one with you for contact purposes. “Tech, can you adjust the volume to the lowest possible in case of emergency. In that case if something goes to shit, then we will keep in contact.” You couldn’t help but smile at the way Hunter sighed defensively. 
“Fine. Tech can you make one more until the evening?” The clone nodded and turned to get to his work. “Wrecker, take Omega and prepare some welcoming and parting gifts just in case. Echo try to memorize the map with all the tunnels and pipes in case Y/N would need help.” He turned towards you and shook his head. “You and I need to have a talk.” You nodded and followed him, blushing at the way Wrecker and Echo winked at you. 
***
.”We need a plan B in case something happens to you”, he started the moment they were alone. Or at least as alone as it was possible in a place like that. You looked behind at the boys and then at the man. “I did not want to talk about it with Omega.” You nodded understanding. He sat at the same couch you both sat on last evening, however this time his pose was not as relaxed anymore. He hid his head in his hands and sighed. “There are more wild cards than I can accept if I’m being honest.” 
“It’s the safest option for all of you. Of course it would put you in the spotlight when it comes to actually fighting, but there is less uncertainty like that.” 
“What about you?” You smiled and sat next to him, leaning towards his hidden face. 
“Don’t tell me you care”, you joked, hoping to lighten the atmosphere a bit. 
“Of course I do!” he half shouted, standing up rashly turning away from you. “This mission is a Citadel level hard action! We are going there understuffed with not enough knowledge, not enough people, and definitely not enough weapons. We go in there hoping things will go as planned and if they don’t, what then ?” 
“Then we leave, regroup and try again”, you answered quietly, hoping to calm him a bit. It wasn’t often you saw him like that. “This is why I will carry a commlink, if something happens on your side I will come back to you guys and we will try again.” 
“I’m not worried about us, damn it!” he hissed, turning towards you. “It’s you that I'm scared for. You will be alone in a maze of tunnels with uncertain outcome of actions! We both know that the commlink is a bullshit excuse for me to agree to this shithell! We both know that if things will go to shit on your side, you will finish the mission, send the data to Tech and make us leave. Leave you alone in there!” He howled over you, pain in his eyes so sickening, that you were unable to keep eye contact with him. ���Tell me I’m wrong. Tell me I’m not seeing you the last time!” Something inside of you shifted. Your last night together, before the War ended, flashed in your head. The kiss, the touches, the slow and gentle movements of his hips that let you to the most amazing time of your life. 
“You became attached”, you said, your tone serious, cold and calm. You looked up and stared at him angrily. “This is like any other mission I take part in. I go do my job, knowing I may die. I don’t get attached, this is what I told you so many times!” 
“Then what about that night? What about all these things we said? All these things you said?” He was seething with anger. He knew what you were doing. A defense mechanism, you were not only protecting him, but what's more important you were protecting yourself. 
“It was just a one time thing. Nothing more”, it was like a blow. More painful than any injury he sustained in his life. The coldness in your tone made his anger disappear and he felt his fingers clench in nervousness. “Just sex, Hunter. A way to relax after an awful mission. We are both adults. If I knew you would act like a stupid kid in love after just that, then I would have never…” 
“Just that?!” He wasn’t shouting anymore. The pain in his voice was more than sensible. His heart beat so loud that it was all he could hear right now. He closed his eyes and shook his head to get rid of any unnecessary things right now. He needed to focus, this was too important. If he messes this up, he won’t forgive himself. “I’m not talking about just that night. I’m talking about all the nights we spent just talking. The ones during the War, but also the last one. I know you and you know me more than even my brothers do. I told you anything, I became vulnerable with you! I lost you once, when you left without even a goodbye. I can’t let you do that again!” 
“Kriff, Hunter, wake the fuck up!” You shouted, taking a step away from him. This was too much. The whole conversation brought up all of her fears. All the good memories between the two of them. The hope that when all this hell is over you two would be able to try something. Something more than secret touches, single nights and a quiet sex hidden from his brothers. You wanted this and more with him. This is why you fought with Rex when you wanted to send you here. You were afraid to come back here, because leaving Hunter was the most painful thing you did in your miserable life. 
But you knew your purpose in this mission, in this Galaxy. You were an assassin, a tool for whoever paid more… No, that wasn’t even true anymore. You weren’t like that anymore. You wouldn’t be here if that was true. You wouldn’t be helping Rex if you were still just a tool. You haven’t been one for a while now. And it was thanks to the Bad Batch, to the man in front of you. 
There could not be attachment in this field of work. Attachments get you killed. You become soft, you become human. You care, you feel, you love and you wake up one day looking at a sleeping form of a man that means the Galaxy to you and all you want to do is just stay and forget all about what you need to do. But you couldn’t. And that’s why you left that last time. Because attachments were dangerous not only for you but for him as well. He has his brothers to worry about and now also Omega. This brilliant, fun and amazing young girl, that you just met and you would die to keep safe. You weren’t suited for a happy ending, you wanted him to have it all, and for this to happen you needed to leave. 
You knew you were being unfair, you knew you were leading a lonely life away from the boys you learned to love like a family, without a man that you loved more than anyone in this Galaxy. But for him to be happy you needed this to end in the most tragic and heartbreaking way. You needed to be a bitch, even if it meant him hating you until the end of your life. 
“Are you able to look me in the eyes and tell me all this meant nothing to you?” His voice was broken, so vulnerable, so cracked. There was still hope, a hope that was wavering with every second you kept quiet. You took a deep breath and made a decision. You looked up and with an unwavering tone you said. 
“I’m sorry Hunter, that whatever that was between us made you believe we can have… what even did you expect? A happy little life? Kriff, Hunter, it was just sex, you were just someone that was willing to talk when I needed it. You were there when I needed relief. It meant nothing to me Sergent, it was just a good fuck, nothing more nothin less!” You turned and walked into the only secured room on the ship. Refresher. 
You waited until you could hear his steps, meaning him walking away back to his brother before you collapsed on your knees and with a pathetic sob leaving your throat you emptied your stomach.
***
His head hurt, and he felt physically sick. He never knew words could hurt like that. He was aware of your walls, of how scared you were to become close to anyone, to open up to someone. You both were so similar in that regard. But he thought, he felt that all this time spent together was something for you. He wanted to believe that that night was as important for you as it was to him. 
He didn’t know what pushed him to kiss you. Maybe it was that awful mission you both somehow survived, maybe it was the pent up attraction he felt towards you or maybe it was the thought that he could have lost you today without telling you, without showing you how much he cared for you. And so he kissed you and to his enormous happiness you were kissing him back. He groaned happily, when you strangled his hips leaning forward to deepen the kiss. You tasted sweet, despite the awful, cheap whisky you were both drinking tonight. But at this moment he only tasted you and it was the sweetest, most delicious taste he ever encountered. 
His finger landed on your hips, when he felt you move just slightly, only a friction to feel him under yourself. You parted to gather your breaths. He lowered your head and connected his forehead with yours, looking straight into your beautiful, mesmerizing eyes.Orbs he learned to love so much. 
“I wanted to do this for so long now”, he muttered, leaving wet kisses over your jaw, slowly moving to your sensitive neck, enjoying your quiet moan, when he kissed at your pulse. “Tell me to stop, Y/N. One word and I will leave you alone and we will forget about it.” You looked down at him and kissed him softly. A kidd so different then your first one. 
“I want that Hunter, I want you, I’m yours,” he didn’t need any more encouragement. It was all he needed to hear, all he wanted to ever hear from you. 
You were honest then, probably the most honest you have been with him. He heard the soft “I love you”, when you thought he was sleeping already. He didn’t miss the way you kissed his cheek before you left, leaving him nothing but an apology letter. He wasn’t mad, he understood. You two were soldiers of different kinds. You fought for the fallen Republic. He understood your decision, despite the fact that it hurt like crazy. But he cherished the memory of the kisses and touches, of your sweet moans and the soft whispers of his name. 
He understood then but now it was different. You were not bonded to the Republic. You were free, just as they were. True it wasn’t the life anyone would dream of, but it was a chance he was willing to give. He hoped to talk about it like civilized people, he wanted to propose staying here with them. There was nothing anymore keeping you away from them. You could travel with them, be with him, be happy. And yet you rejected that. He didn’t understand why you lied to him. Why did you keep on lying to yourself? Your words hurt like hell, but the fact that you chose to say them outloud hurt him even more. Because you decided to not give the two of you a chance. A chance he longed for. A chance he hoped he deserved after years of fighting for others. He stupidly hoped he deserved some kind of happiness. A piece of a life he could never have. 
He wasn’t about to fight you. You said your bit, and he did his. He wasn’t as stubborn as Echo, nor as non-understanding as Wrecker to fight for something that had no future. He was tired of fighting. He understood fighting for the Republic, and now against the Empire, but he was tired of fighting for a happiness that didn’t seem to want to stick with him. So he closed his eyes and let the sleep wash over him in hope of forgetting and pretending just for a couple of hours. 
***
The debrief was awkward to say the most. You didn’t speak, only if it was necessary. Most of the time you spend with Tech adjusting your commlink and portraying the exact way you were planning to take to get into that room. You felt the way all of them tried so hard not to talk about what they definitely heard not so long ago. You noticed how Omega was avoiding your eyes. However, you weren’t sure if she was angry with you or just unable to understand the whole situation. You knew you wouldn’t be able to blame her if it was the first one, as you have probably hurt her brother tremendously. 
What hurt you more was the fact that Hunter acted as nothing happened. Precisely like nothing has ever happened. Like you were a random addition to their team, that he met yesterday and couldn't care less about. You knew it was selfish of you to even feel that, it was your own fault after all. It was you who pushed him away, it was you who lied to his face instead of telling him the truth. But you couldn’t do that. You were protecting him from yourself, He deserved better, he had better and you would only bring chaos into his life. If you could turn back the time you would tell Rex to go fuck himself and never come here. You weren’t that selfless to forget that night the two of you shared. You wanted to remember it, that night kept you alive so many times after the War. His soft touches and words that broke your heart. The protectiveness of his arm, when he pulled you towards him after you were both done. The warmth he emitted was like nothing you have ever felt. The realization that came with that night scared you. You loved him so much that it physically hurt. It made you sick, it blocked any rational thinking and so when you were sure he was asleep you did the most selfish thing imaginable, you said you loved him. And then you left in the morning. 
“The most difficult would be to get into the tunnel S12”, you zoomed into the said place. It was the last one, following directly to the office where the data was held. “It’s bigger than the other ones, but there may be some booby traps. But this isn’t something I have to worry about.” 
“Unless one of the traps blows the place off”, Tech murmured, looking at his datapad. You raised your brow at him and sighed. 
“They’re not Wrecker kind of traps, Tech. They are assigned to stop the person who is trying to get to the place. Probably some kind of needle with poison, something fast and productive. And quiet, just in case.” 
“If that’s the case, then we would not be able to help you” Echo said, looking around the place, already trying to see a better, faster way to get to you. You smiled softly to yourself, thankful to a good old Echo for carrying even if he didn't have to. You turned to your little backpack and took out some tubes. 
“I always carry some around. I cannot in good manners know all the poisons in the world, but most of them are based on the same chemical shit, so it is easier for me to make antidotes at least long enough for me to get the mission finished.” 
“And getting out of there, right?” Wrecker asked. It was the first time he spoke today. Knowing him, he was probably the most annoyed with you. With his soft and kind heart, he probably cared the most about his brothers. 
“Sure”, you murmured mindlessly looking at Hunter, remembering your last fight. “The antidote normally works for up to 30 minutes. So plenty of time to get it all nice and steady”,:, the boys did not seem satisfied with the answer, but they knew they had to agree to it. It was after all the best plan. 
“Fine. Just to wrap it up. Omega you stay with us all the time, you hear me?” Hunter looked at the girl who nodded her head, smiling with excitement. Oh, she will give them all some trouble some day. “Tech and Echo we are leaving you with the systems. Wrecker, make sure they don’t hear commotions in the tunnels and pipes. Omega you will be our long distance girl. Make sure you don’t miss. I will take care of anyone who gets too close. Y/N, you have overly 40 minutes for the whole operation from the moment we are in the damn building. In case of any issues, commlink us. We'll do our best to accommodate you.” Professional as always. The perfect soldier. You nodded and started to repack all the stuff you would need. Two knives, your little blaster you always carried with you just in case. You looked at your other weapons and sighed. No room for them, you had to survive with what you got. A robe, some nice techs from Tech and an outside disc for the data extension. And of course your antidote. 
There was some unease in your stomach. You had similar missions before. Some were even more dangerous than others, and yet this one seemed different. You hated that feeling, you were sure that the more you worked the less the feeling seemed to bother you. You took a deep breath and looked around the boys. You wanted to say so much to them. Wanted to apologize, to thank them, to just talk but you couldn’t. You had no right. 
You turned when you saw Omega sitting in her “room” with a plushy in her arms. She looked like a kid, not a soldier, but a young teenage girl. You took a deep breath, took your old knife with you, and sat on the little stairs at the “entrance” to her room. She stared away from you and just hugged the plushy. 
“Isn’t that Wrecker’s?” You asked, smiling softly, hoping the girl wouldn’t leave you hanging. 
“It was, he gave it to me.” She answered, but still not looking at you. 
“It’s very sweet of him. He must care for you deeply, it was a special plushy for him.” 
“All of them care for me and I care for them. We are a squad, a family.” 
“That sounds nice. It must be wonderful to be a part of it.” 
“I’m sure Hunter wanted you to be, but you refused”, and the elephant was spotted. You sighed and leaned onto the wall, closing your eyes. “I don’t understand as much as they do, but it seemed like you hurt Hunter a lot and I don’t like it.” She hugged the plushy more and furrowed her brow angrily. “To me it seems like it hurts you as well.” Your eyes snapped at her and you couldn’t help the chuckle. 
“For someone so young, you sure are a perceptive little thing.” 
“I am older than them…” She rolled her eyes and you couldn’t help but let out a quiet laugh. It was hard to remember that, but she did have a point. There was something about Omega that made you think of yourself. Way before your adult life started. You were as curious, careless as she was. Wrapped in the love around you. But with you it ended when your whole family was wiped out by some smugglers and you were left to wander the streets for food and any money. Until your “father” found you and trained you, trying to kill all the emotions. 
“There are times when you have to choose if you value your own happiness over the person you love or not.” The girl finally turned around. Her big, brownish almost golden eyes wide. “Your brothers, not only Hunter, mean the Galaxy to me. This mission, my other missions, the people I know and want me dead… This whole life is too dangerous. They all have you now, their family is almost full and I would hate to be the one to break it. You deserve this Omega. They may hate me for this, but deep down I want to believe I’m making the right choice.” 
“So you lied”, she said and you were thankful to her, that she was keeping the voice lower, to make sure they boys wouldn’t hear it. Something inside you knew though that Hunter would hear it anyway. 
“Adults do a lot of awful things, Omega. We sometimes lie to make someone safe or just happy.”
“Why are you telling me this?” She turned towards you, the plushy forgotten, laying beside her on the floor. The way she looked at you changed as well. The distance and anger left and was replaced by sadness and misunderstanding.
“You remind me of myself when I was younger. I lost my family when I was younger than you, and I don’t want this to happen to you as well, so”, you took one of your knives and gave it to her. It was a lighter one, which should fit her as her first hand to hand weapon. “Ask Hunter to teach you how to use it. It’s not a toy, sweetheart, but should help you save your family in the end if it comes to it..” She nodded and you closed your eyes, stopping the tears from falling, when she hugged you. Such a tender gesture made you question all of your decisions. 
“Get ready, we are landing!” the two of you walked to your site to get ready, when Hunter stopped you in your tracks.  So he did hear all of it. That damn hearing of his. 
“Thank you, Y/N”, he murmured and left you, to sit next to Echo and Tech. You nodded to no one and sat preparing yourself for the mission. 
*** 
“Are you not going to say anything?” Echo didn’t like the way Hunter was behaving. He was too disattached, or at least pretended to be. He knew that the conversation he had with you had left him in more pain than Echo would understand. But he knew his brother enough to know that he would never hold a grudge against someone he felt so strong for. He could see how Hunter looked at you when you were finally preparing to take off. If he wanted to say something it was the last chance. If not the last chance ever, seeing how this mission was designed to fail. One wrong step from you and all of this would be over in a matter of seconds. 
“I said all that needed to be said already”, Hunter answered, his eyes focused on double checking his equipment. He didn’t look like it, but he was nervous about the mission. There were too many unknowns. Not to mention that the last conversation with you did not bring him any peace. He hated how it ended, but it was your decision. And who was he to question that decision. Apparently nothing more than a good fuck to forget about your troubles. 
He ignored the look that Echo gave him and his eyes landed on you, who was working something on the comm, your nose scrunching a little bit. Something you’d do when you focus a lot on something. He was expecting a quiet curse under your nose and smiled when you mumbled something to yourself. He really hated how he knew you so well, he wished he didn’t and yet all these times spent together have given him an opportunity to get to know you more than anyone. He knew you loved your caff with a bit of milk and no sugar, how you preferred an awful kind of whisky rather than even the best kind of wine. He noticed all of the nerve tics you had, that you tried to hide from everyone. How you always favored your right hand in combat, but it was the left leg that did all the real damage. Or how you loved anything that was covered in chocolate. You brought them a box once. He still wasn’t sure where you got it from (he expected them to be stolen), but he had to admit, they were lovely. He knew you loved to sing in the bathroom, despite being terrible in it, he, however, never told you that. 
He frowned, realizing how many things he never told you about. How he hated the way your hair looked when you woke up. How you took care of him and his brothers. How you were one of the few people that were able to bring a genuine laugh from Crosshair. He hated how you would do literally anything to keep them safe. He was so pissed, when you jumped after Tech when he was taken by some unknown water creature. He loved how easy it was for you to talk to Wrecker, how incredibly patient you were with Echo. And most importantly he loved and hated the fact that you understood him more than he understood himself. 
There were so many things he wanted to say. Still so many things he wanted to do, but he was aware that today would be the end. Even if you all would walk out of there alive, you would leave and probably would never see them again. A side of him wanted to see you as nothing more than a coward, but he knew that it would have been unfair to you. And he hated lying, whether it was to others or simply to himself. And he found himself lying to himself about you more time than he would have liked. 
“We will enter together. We should be able to keep together for a couple of rooms before they notice us.” You started, putting on your hood and mask. All in black, all in disguise, all professional, all ready for yet another mission. One of many. “Tech, make sure you will be less occupied when I need you. I may be good, but not that good”, he smirked and nodded, putting his helmet on. Your hand traveled to your pocket and you took out a small necklace you normally wore and walked to Hunter. “Keep this for me, will you?” His eyes widened, when he realized what you gave him. But before he was able to say anything, or even worse, question you, you gave a sign for the mission to start. You watched him, put it safely in one of his secured pockets and smiled softly. You made a decision whether it was a good one or not, you hope you will have time to see. 
*** 
“It’s way too easy”, Wrecker grumbled and you had to nod. It was too quiet, and you were able to walk into the building with no extra eyes on you. Like no one lived here, like all that place was abandoned. Which was impossible, this place was never deserted. It never was and it never will be. 
“150 meters from the pinpoint” Tech said in a whisper, his eyes on the pad, already working on something you had no idea about. You never pretended to keep up with him and his ideas. You did, however, love to hear him talk about things he found fascinated. His brothers were as patient with him as they could, but you always enjoyed some good teaching. And despite all, Tech was a brilliant teacher. He never wavered even with, what some would consider, stupid questions. ‘You need to learn, and how will you learn without asking even the most obvious questions.’ 
You all stopped when Hunter’s hand flew upwards stopping you all with a swift gesture. He heard and smelled more than you. If Hunter heard something, who were you to question him. “Take cover”, he murmured and you all split up into corners. You watch with a snarl how two of the Troopers came out of the room with blasters in their hands. They must have realized you were all in. If that was the case, then you had to move. You looked at Echo and he nodded. Do not panic, after all everything went as planned. Before you were able to blink the two soldiers were laying, stunned by Echo and Wrecker. And you were free to start your part of the mission. 
“Keep your comm on” Hunter mumbled, before you walked into the drain. You turned to him and nodded, your whole face hidden from him, just as he was from you. Yet you were still able to feel his soft eyes on you. The same beautiful eyes you loved so damn much. You reached for your pocket and took out the thing you cherished the most.
“Keep it safe. I will be back for it!” and you jumped up, before any of you were able to say or do anything. That little gesture. That necklace you gave him was a symbol. Your biggest weakness yet. A way for him to realize that you lied. That he was way more important to you than you told him. It was a testament of your love. The necklace is a symbol of whatever there was between you two. Afterall, it was the first ever gift from him to you. 
“I know it’s impractical”, he mumbled under his nose, looking anywhere but you. A green, small rock they found on the mission was morphed into a necklace. Nothing too fancy, a pretty thing, and so very much your style. If, of course, you would ever wear jewelry. “And you don’t have to accept it if you don’t want to. I just…” He sighed and you bit your lip, stopping yourself from smiling at how adorably awkward he was with all this. “I thought you may like it… You don’t have to wear it or anything… Eh you know what, never mind.” He was about to take it back from you, but you snitched it, turned around and moved your hair away from your neck. 
“Will you put it on me?” You smiled softly at how happy he looked. He clasped it safely on you and was surprised when you turned and kissed him on the cheek. Something so innocent was more than he ever hoped for from you. “It’s beautiful. Thank you Hunter. I will treasure it with my heart.” 
And you did. You wore it in all your missions, you had it with you when the nights were too scary even for you. You held onto it, imagining Hunter’s adorable blush, after so many nights you woke in pain after getting shot or hurt in any way during your missions. You had all that arsenal of weapons with you and yet this necklace was the best and strongest weapon you owned. It gave you hope that there was someone there that wanted you alive. That wanted you, the real you. 
You hated yourself for the words you spoke to him, but that short discussion with Omega, with the way Echo looked at you before the mission and the way Hunter seemed to give you space made you realize that there was no other place in the Galaxy that you would rather be, than here with them. Being understood and accepted for who you really are. And loved by a man that loved you even when you didn’t even remotely like yourself. And so you made a decision. An impulsive one, but you have never felt more certain about anything else. And so you gave him your hope, for him to hold onto it and give it all back, with himself included, when all of this would be over. 
***
You tried to think it was the damn tunnels that turned smaller, than becoming bigger. If Crosshair was here, he for sure would send some snarky comment towards you. Sure you didn’t train as much as you used to but damn it, these were narrow little fuckers. What calmed you slightly was the fact that they seemed to lead to exactly the same places they did all these years ago. You looked down on your watch and smiled. The timing was pretty good regarding the difficulties it brought you to maneuver. 
You stopped absurdly and hissed the biggest curse word you knew. There right in front of you the entrance to the last part of the tunnel was gone. Well more like entombed. You sat down and tried to remember the map. Trying to calm yourself you tried so hard to remember an alternative road. You could always just come back and try another way, but there was no time for that. With your luck you would probably have gotten lost after a second try. 
“Echo” you whispered into the comm, hoping they weren’t too busy. After a beat or two you could hear a soft mumble from the Clone. “You memorized the tunnels, right?” 
“What happened?” Hunter interjected and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes. You should have used a private line. 
“The fastest entrance turned out to be a dead end. Someone entombed it. I could blow it up but a) it wouldn’t be very stealthy of me and b) Wreck would never forgive me.” You heard a laugh of the big man and smiled. “Echo, use that strategic mind of yours and please tell me you remember the other way around.” 
“No need for that!” This time it was Tech that interjected. You could see Echo’s annoyed face already and chuckled softly to yourself. “I encrypted a map to your commlink. Click on the orange button and the mini holo should appear.” Yu followed his order and indeed a small, mini version of the holo appeared in front of you. “If you double click on the white one it will show the fastest way around. You would need to add the entrance as not crossable and the system should be able to figure out a new way out” 
“Tech, you are a genius!” You exclaimed when the system did indeed show you another way.
“As much as I would gladly agree with you, the map is based on the information I gathered from you and any insights from Echo, so if there is anything new, like this entombment, then you are… well screwed.” 
“Trust me, Tech. This is plenty! I owe you.” You started to crawl to the other entry. “I shouldn’t lose too much time, how are you guys holding up?” 
“Wrecker is having the time of his life”, Omega jumped to the conversation and you smiled hearing her voice. She sounded tired and a little bit out of breath, but that was to be expected. 
“We should be able to stir them away from you for a while, but make sure you don’t wonder anymore than is necessary.” Hunter replied softly and you couldn’t help the smile, hearing humor in his tone. “We can give you 10 extra minutes top.” 
“More than enough” you mumbled loudly enough for him to hear you. “Oh and Hunter?” You quickly changed into the private line. “I’ll come back to you. I promise!” 
***
The new way was indeed a better option. It did take about 3 extra minutes from you, but at least you were now looking down into the data room. Of course your poor luck wouldn’t let you just do your job as you pleased, as the Warden did not mind the spectacle that The Batch was putting on, especially for him. 
You didn’t have time to call for reinforcement to get the guy out of his room, so you started to prepare a sleeping party for him, when something inside you screamed to move. You shifted just when a bullet hit the bottom of the tunnel you were in. 
“You can come out, you sleazy rat”, the Warden shouted looking up at you. This wasn’t good. He wasn’t the one who shot at you, so it meant that there was still someone there. You wouldn’t really care much about it, if the time wasn’t so not in your flavor. In approximately 10 to 15 minutes reinforcements that were surely called upon by the Warden would come and even your boys would have some issues with him. So you hid your pride and clicked on the red button on the comm. ‘It will alert us that something didn’t go as planned and you are unable to communicate with us. This way we would be able to help you in case of an emergency.’ You really did owe Tech this time. 
“I guess my brilliant stealth mission plan was not as brilliant as I hoped”, you opened the crater and jumped down, raising your hand to indicate to the bulky man with a gun that you were harmless. Well in theory at least. And damn he was huge, you weren’t sure if even Wrecker would be able to handle him. 
“We know of the rebellion to the Empire”, the Warden started slowly walking towards you. “We know what kind of information we possess and trust me when I say that I expected you, Miss L/N”, your eyes widened slightly, taken by surprise. “We don’t know who bought your luxurious services, but I was hoping you would gladly cooperate with us.” 
“Oh sure, no problem. How about you give me the data I need and then we can negotiate”, you hissed feeling a hit in the back of your knees, making you fall down. You glared at the giant who was confiscating all of your weapon. “Careful buddy, some of them are quite valuable.” He ignored you and you rolled your eyes annoyed. 
“You are quite chatty for someone called The Shadow.” 
“Shadows talk when you listen”, you shrugged and he raised his brow. “Too deep for you?” He sighed annoyed and you hissed angrily when he slapped you across the face. “How it’s true what they say, there are no gentlemen anymore.” Another blow came, this time from behind, close to your neck with something metallic, probably the big guy’s gun. 
“What we’re gonna do now is wait for the reinforcement to get rid of those little flies that apparently were supposed to get me out of the office”, you really didn’t like the smirk on his face. “Predictable, I expected more from you. After all, you're a legend. You were even a prisoner here for a while right?”
“A bit too personal don’t you think? How about you buy me dinner first and then we cen”, this time you did feel that. A kick to your stomach that took your breath away. Literally. You feel face down, your forehead laying on the floor. You were about to reboost with yet another snarky comment when you felt the big guy lifting you up by your throat. 
“That shit here is saved for at least a fourth date!” you growled trying to take some air. 
“Now before my friend here crashes your neck, would you like to tell me who sent you? If I like your answer I would even consider keeping you alive. Can say the same thing about those outside.” It was taking too long, something must have happened. Your strategy of buying them some time didn’t seem to work. So there was time for another solution. The one you were more familiar with. Get your ass out of any shitty situation. 
There was one thing about hunky guys like the one holding you. They were normally slower than normal human beings, which gave you an advantage that you were planning to use against him. Sending him a soft smile you took out a knife from inside your limited armor and with a swift move sent it right at his eye, making him stumble and lose his hold on you. You gathered your hidden mini blaster you adored so much from underneath your armor and shot him before he was able to react. You turned swiftly towards the Wardan that seemed to just now register what happened. You pointed your gun at him and walked towards your weapons and took out the disc. 
“Now be a good boy and move away from your precious computer”, you took yet another shot when he moved to the equipment. This one however didn’t mean to kill him like with the big guy, but to harm him enough to stop him from moving. Maybe Rex would be of use to a little shit like him. “Why do you guys never listen?” You rolled your eyes and started the real mission. Working as fast as you could, you started to send all the data to your external disc. 
“You guys are late”, you murmured when the doors blasted open and five clones entered the room. Echo smirked at the scene in front of him and then chuckled, patting Hunter in his shoulder. 
“See nothing to worry about.” Tech walked towards you and looked at the screen. 
“It just started…” 
“Well I was a bit occupied!” You hissed nodding to the man. “Mr Warden here wasn’t really keen on accepting a diplomatic solution to the situation.” You were pushed aside by Tech and you glared at him, which was ignored. Rudely ignored. As you were about to say something, strong arms pulled you around and you were met with a face of a very concerned Hunter. 
“Are you alright?” His slender fingers slipped on your neck, where the big guy’s hand rested not so long ago. You looked up at Hunter’s eyes and smiled softly and the loving men, who were fussing over you, like you were one of the noobies and not one of the most skilled Assassins in the Galaxy. “I’m sorry it took us longer, but they were more annoying than we thought.” 
“I’m ok, love” his eyes widened at your term of endearment, unable to keep a smile on his lips. “And don’t worry I managed.” 
“I think I’m going to puke '' The Warden hissed, looking at you.with a mix of anger and disgust. “Not only were you fooled by something as stupid as love, but you fell for a Clone?” You raised a brow at him and as you were about to answer him, you almost missed his movement and in the last second pushed Hunter away. You stumbled back and the room became quiet when the blaster hit you down your stomach. Before he was able to shoot the second time, Wrecker shot him square between his eyes. 
“Y/N?!” You heard Hunter and Omega yell beside you, pulling you to his arms. You choked, just now feeling a sting from the shot. “Sweetheart look at me”, you followed his voice and looked at him, smiling softly. “You’re going to be OK!” You heard Echo and Tech arguing, probably about the speed of the data recovery, but your eyes were focused on the man you loved. 
“I’m fine. Nothing I haven’t lived through before,” he pushed you gently down, when you tried to sit up. “Just another scar for the collection. Some more and you wouldn’t want to look at me”, you chuckled, coughing slightly. You looked down feeling your hand being pulled into another smaller one and you smiled at the girl. 
“That will never happen, sweetheart. I will always want you”, Hunter laughed quietly, lifting you up slowly. “Tech, how much longer, we’re gonna have a company very soon!” 
“Now!” he mumbled and took the disc out of the computer. Ready to go. Let’s get on the ship and I will be able to patch her up.” 
“I knew you would do it in less than 10 minutes, Tech!” You chuckled, when all of you were getting ready to leave the room.  “Wrecker sweety, can you do me a favor and leave a parting gift for them ?” The man laughed and nodded, coming back to leave the bomb to be detonated when they all would be more than a safe distance away. 
“It was 3 minutes and 20 seconds precisely, by the way,” Tech interjected and you laughed, regretting it right after when a hellish sting traveled through your body. You smiled to yourself. Despite the hole in your stomach you were happy. You were surrounded by the people that cared for you and you cared for them so deeply. And you were finally in the arms of the man you loved the most in the damn Galaxy. Ignoring his shouts at you to stay awake, you leaned your head on his chest and closed your eyes, whispering a soft apologies towards Hunter. 
***
Something was different from the last couple of times you woke up after being injured on the missions. You did not feel so warm and definitely did not hear all the voices semi whispering around you. And you were definitely not on the Marauder under all the possible blankets that were found on board. 
“Hey there, sleepy head!” You slowly opened your eyes to the voice you learned to love so much. You turned your head towards Hunter and smiled. You heard Omega shouting to the others that you were awake and the little privacy between the two of you was over when the others rounded you. 
S
“You scared us, Y/N” Echo started, smiling at you softly, but you could see his eyes betraying how scared he was before. “A word of advice. When you have a wound like that, try not to fall asleep.” You chuckled and held Hunter’s hand. 
“Try not to fall asleep in those nice and warm arms.” The boys rolled their eyes and Omega laughed at the way Hunter blushed. “What about the mission?”
“Professionalist as always” Wrecker laughed, showing you the disc that was probably full of the information. 
“We contacted Rex and headed towards the rendezvous point to meet with him. He asked if he should prepare any form of transport for you.” The room became quiet and all of the eyes landed on you. You swallowed and clenched Hunter’s hand. 
“Can you guys give us a minute?” Sergeant asked and all of them left to pretend to do something other than listen to the two of you, but just from a distance. “Here”, he pulled your necklace from his pocket and smiled, asking him with your eyes to clasp it on your neck. He helped you to sit down slowly and the necklace was once again next to your heart where it belonged. “I didn’t know you still had it.” One of his hands came back to hold yours and you couldn’t help the warmth crawling to your cheeks. 
“Of course. I cherished it all this time. It gave me hope when all the hope was lost. It reminded me of you and gave me strength to keep on going.” You looked away, ashamed to say something so vulnerable. Just not used to be so honest with him without the alcohol that normally forestalled these types of conversations between the two of you. “Thank you for keeping it safe.” You knew that you were supposed to be the one to start this conversation but despite knowing how he felt you were still scared. Terrified that the words you spoke before the mission would have scared him away. But you took a deep breath and decided to fight for it. You mentally prepared yourself for the most important battle of your life. “I don’t think it was just sex, Hunter.” Your voice, quiet, shaky with nervousness. Your eyes landed on your connected hands, unable to look at him. “There was never anything ‘just’ with you. All the memories I hold, the nights we spend talking, laughing and crying. That night when I was finally able to feel you, taste you. It was never ‘just’. You have never been a ‘just’ to me. You are the most important person in my life. What you gave me, what you helped me realize and helped me feel once again is indescribable. It is thanks to you that I am able to feel again. The emotions my father was trying to kill in me, you helped me raise them back to life. I don’t want to even think how my life would look if you weren’t in it. And kriff, Hunter, I never want to know.” 
You closed your eyes letting the tears flow down your cheeks on the covers. You have never been more vulnerable with him and to your surprise there was nothing scary about it. You looked up and smiled through the tears, meeting the softness in his eyes. 
“I have been a coward most of my life. I was running away from happiness, from a life that would give me more than I thought I deserved. I still believe you would do much better than me, but the selfish part of me doesn’t want you to explore further when I am right here in front of you.” You felt him squeeze your hand and you chuckle at his raised brow. “I was a coward when I left that night, and I was a coward when I said all these awful things to you. Will you ever forgive me?” 
You waited for his response and for just a second a wave of fear went through your body. That he will reject you, already too tired with you. A gasp escaped you when his lips met you in a tender and soft kiss. As you were about to deepen the kiss he pulled away, laughing at your pouting face. 
“My feelings haven’t changed. I know you Y/N, I knew you were protecting yourself. But I do have to ask you one thing. If you decide to give us a chance and stay, please don’t ever leave me.” You melted at his words and pulled him into another kiss. Tears started flowing again and you couldn’t help but laugh happily. “I love you, Y/N.” 
“I love you too, Sergeant!”
“I”ll let Rex know, then”, Tech shouted, making the two of you laugh out loud. You were finally, truly happy. You were at a place you called home and with a man you loved from the bottom of your heart. 
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boldlyvoid · 2 years
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[CLEANSE] - our muses have sex in the bathtub
live your pretty woman fantasy
hotch x blank slate fem reader 
he comes home from work to find his wife in the bathtub.
candles are lit, lights dimmed way down low, and the smell of rose and ginger floats through the air like he's at an expensive spa. she's already in the water, relaxing as the bubbles melt away, she has her head resting against the tub's edge. her eyes are closed, she doesn't know he's there yet, so he lightly knocks on the door.
the sound of her skin on the porcelain makes a hilarious squeak as she covers up and turns to the door, "oh god, I thought it was jack." he almost gave her a heart attack.
he laughs as he comes in and sits on the edge, "it's just me... what are you doing?"
"I had a long day," she sighs and rests back in the same spot, "I didn't think you'd be home to help me relax so I did this..."
"well then," he removes his suit jacket, placing it by her discarded clothes on the floor. "I guess you're getting both tonight, lucky girl." she watches with contentment as he strips all the way down, "how do you want to do this?"
"get in first," she instructs, moving her legs out of the way so he can take a seat in their luxurious tub. she straddles his hips and sits in his lap, soapy hands all over his chest and shoulders, "welcome home, lover."
"I'm not really home till I'm inside you," he all but growls, gripping her hips.
she reaches between them to stroke his cock for a moment, watching the satisfied look come over his face after days of wishing he could touch her, or she could touch him. "I missed you so much..."
"I know," she coos, leaning in close so she can graze her bottom lips against his, pulling away before he can kiss her. She lifts her hips, aligns him with her entrance and slips down his length with a moan, "I missed you... and this. god, you're so big."
their foreheads rest together as she starts to slowly ride him, cautious not to rock the boat so much that the water gets everywhere in their bathroom, but enough for it to feel good. he finally kisses her, deep with longing and tongues and sweet moans.
his grip gets tighter, "no matter how many times I fuck you you're always going to have the most perfect pussy," he praises against her lips, "like you were made for me..."
she runs her wet hands over his back, admiring the muscles and trying to touch all of him. she couldn't get enough... like he somehow wasn't close enough to her even like this. inside of her, pressed against her, tongues twisting together, moans erupting in lustful symphonies.
she leans back when she's close, letting him kiss her neck while one hand comes up to play with her nipple. his kisses go south, down her chest as she lays back almost all the way. he supports her lower back with one hand, letting her float on the water while he guides his cock in and out of her.
he spits on his hand, bringing it down to her clit and rubbing it in with glorious circles. she's trying so hard to be quiet, but it feels too good, she lets out content little breathy moans, over and over, letting him know just how good he was doing.
"oh, right there," she whispers, hearing it echo around the room after.
"you close, love?"
"yeah," she moans, eyes closed, enjoying it all.
she's basically weightless as her orgasm hits, crashing over her like a wave, she trembles through it. he's not far behind her, loving the way she looks when she was in peak euphoria, the feeling of her pulling him deeper and the sounds of her moans, they all do it for him.
with both hands back on her hips, he pulls her in as close as possible, his grip so tight she gasps, knowing there would be bruises in the morning. he groans, panting and breathing deeply as his orgasm washes over him, he didn't realize how much he needed that until it passed.
he helps her back into a sitting position then, the both of them chest to chest with him still safely inside her. she kisses the tip of his nose, "welcome home."
"Thanks for having me."
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varlaisvea · 9 days
Text
WIP Wednesday today!
This was the thing that started it all! This was the start of what is now a novel-length fic that I have not posted. It got moved to the prologue, and now might get left out entirely, though I hope I can find a way to include it!
Pairing: Razum-dar & The Vestige (canon)* Words: 5.3k Rating: T, alcohol and allusions to sex Summary: After a fraught visit with Raz's family, Razum-dar and the Vestige have a drunken heart-to-heart. Or something vaguely analogous. (Takes place after the ESO: Elsweyr quest "Home Sweet Home") (*Note: For lulz and challenge reasons, I wanted the Vestige to be the same as they are in-game in ESO, where the canon Vestige lacks a soul and knowledge of their past. Much like the written content of ESO, this Vestige POV also contains no mentions of the Vestige's name, race, age, gender, or any other identifying characteristics. But in a fun and cute way, at least I hope!)
-----
The food was good, and the overall mood was pleasant, but I’ve certainly been to less tense family dinners. And I don’t even have a family.
“Where are you headed now, my friend?” Raz asks me, after we both say our goodbyes to his family. “If you are not sick of this one by now, you are welcome to travel with Raz to Elden Root.” He does not look enthused about going to Elden Root.
“What’s in Elden Root?” Raz sighs heavily. “The closest portal to Eyevea. Raz dislikes travel methods that disassemble and then reassemble your entire existence, but he does what he must for the Dominion.”
“What’s in Eyevea?”
“All Raz knows so far is that he is meeting a Psijic who claims to have important information, and apparently has very questionable motives.”
“Sounds like the type of work you’re best at.”
“Yes, subterfuge is one of Raz’s many, many sleek specialties, as you well know,” he says, buffing his claws. “But this one has a feeling about this mission.”
I feel a little guilty that I’m more intrigued than concerned, but I’m going to chalk it up to faith in Raz’s abilities. “Sounds like it’s not a good feeling,” I say.
“Just so.” He sighs again. “Her Majesty would not send the captain of her guard, Brogomir, to personally retrieve Her Majesty’s most valuable agent, Razum-dar, from a vacation she herself imposed on him—to send said extremely dashing agent to a secret, inaccessible mage island in a pocket dimension, where anyone with political business is distinctly and explicitly unwelcome—if this were not a very weighty matter for the Dominion.”
“You make a good point,” I say, and now I am even more intrigued, but also concerned.
“To meet a member of the Psijic Order, no less! We know how the Psijic Order feels about the Mages Guild, yes?”
Right, totally, I guess I remember they have beef or something? I nod.
“This is why Raz suspects that Her Majesty could use your help, if you do not have more urgent business.”
He seems more cautious than normal. I think there’s something he’s not telling me. Then again, there always is. “Elden Root’s as good as anywhere, then!”
“Ah, fragrant, as the folks back home—uh, here—would say. Raz will meet you in Elden Root, then!” He heads off without another word—he seems like he’s in a hurry to leave Merryvale.
Despite all I’ve accomplished, I haven’t been in this reality very long, so there are some things I don’t understand yet. For example, why do people always want to meet me somewhere when we’re going to the same destination? It seems like traveling together would leave less chance of getting separated or side-tracked.
Nevertheless, somehow when I get to the inn in Elden Root, Raz has already been there long enough to book us some bunks at the inn, find a quiet place to drink, and make a pretty good dent in a bottle of moon-sugarcane rum. He has found a place not too far from the inn, but a lot nicer: the roots of the Great Tree are wide enough to sit ten people from side to side, and the one Raz is sitting on overlooks a waterfall and the river; the setting sun lights up the arches of the Elden Root Temple in the distance. He even brought a blanket to sit on.
As I get closer, I see he has scrapes all over his face and neck that he definitely didn’t have when we left Merryvale. “Whoa, what happened to you?”
“Five-claw!” he says, as if he didn’t just see me in Merryvale. “So glad you could make it! Please, do not worry about old Raz,” he says, pouring a drink. “There was some confusion after this one placed an order for supplies—” he holds up the bottle of rum. “The vendor called out ‘order for Raz’ and a tall, intimidating, very muscular Orc went and grabbed all the parcels! Raz, this one, had to confront him—”
“Oh, no…”
“—it turns out his name was Roz, spelled differently. A simple misunderstanding!” Raz laughs.
“So… what happened to your face, then?’ I ask, sitting down next to him on the blanket.
“Well, this one and the Orc Roz decided to split one of the bottles of rum. Events unfolded, and we found ourselves in a… heated… conversation.”
“Oh,” I say, grimacing. “Seems like it didn’t end well.”
“Ah, no, Raz should have been clearer—this was the type of ‘heated’ ‘conversation’ that typically ends very well.” He is already drunk, so that joke delights him. “Contrary to what this one’s mother says about him, he can say no to a pretty face, he just does his best not to make a habit of it, yes?” He takes a drink. “And, you must agree, it would be grievously unjust for this pretty face to deny due consideration to all reasonable requests.” He grins.
I roll my eyes. How did he even have time for that? “Right, so… the Orc.”
“Yes, Roz. You may be wondering, how is kissing accomplished with so many differently-shaped fangs involved? Or maybe you do not need to wonder at all, ha!” He tips his cup to me. “But this evening, Raz was reminded that the answer should be very carefully.”
I search my pack for something to eat—it’s been about two or three hours, so I’m hungry.
“You are a member of the Mages Guild, yes?”
I nod. “And the Psijic Order.”
“Of course you are.” He shakes his head and takes a drink, then looks back at me. “Raz did not want to sound concerned,” he says, “but the truth is he is very glad to have you along.” He finishes what’s in his cup. “Arriving in Eyevea will be possible with your help—this one did not exactly have a plan of his own.”
“Glad I could—“
“—And, as an additional benefit, Raz will now have time to threaten you appropriately!” Raz says cheerfully. “Raz assumes it is healthy to have one’s ego culled from time to time, but it was quite unfortunate that you saw what this one’s family thinks of him.” He refills his cup generously. “Raz is glad you have also seen how adept he is at killing, because he is going to swear you to secrecy about his relationship with Mother and Rakhzargo.”
I roll my eyes again as I take a bite of my Longfin Pasty with Melon Sauce. “Who would I tell, Raz? Surprisingly, the subject of how much your family likes you has never come up in conversation with anyone but you,” I say, with my mouth still full for extra mockery.
He laughs. “And it should stay that way, yes? Captain Brogomir’s arrival was what made Raz’s mother and brother change their tune, so luckily Brogomir did not hear them calling Raz a good-for-nothing drunkard,” he says, with an obvious note of bitterness. ”You are the only one who knows.”
“Heh. You think Brogomir didn’t already know you’re a good-for-nothing drunkard?”
“Funny, five-claw. Raz knows Ziz Kurah, incidentally.” I realize how much he doesn’t sound as playful as he usually does when he threatens to kill me. He sounds… kind of hurt, actually. I look up from my meal to see that he’s already nearly done with the cup of rum he just poured. Maybe it’s best to change the subject. “So… what’s next?”
Raz finishes what’s in his cup. “Tomorrow we go to Eyevea and meet with this Psijic. Raz does not know much more than that.” He uncorks the bottle to refill his cup. “Tonight,” he says with a dark sigh, pouring himself a generous amount of rum, “this one intends to get very drunk. One reason we’re staying at an inn—this is frowned on at the Altmer embassy.”
It’s obvious the time in Merryvale upset him. Raz and I have been through a lot together, I realize—he’s one of the closest friends I’ve made in my travels. But I’m not sure if he wants to talk about it, or just get drunk about it. Either way, I wasn’t doing anything this evening. “Could I be helpful with that, too?”
Raz grabs another large bottle of rum from his pack, and sets it down proudly next to him on the blanket. “Ah, five-claw! Truthfully, this one is just as relieved to have you with him on this evening’s journey as he will be to have your help tomorrow!” He reaches into his pack, pulls out another stone cup, and pours me what’s left of the bottle he’s been working on. He lifts his cup to me so we can tap them together.
I down mine—pleasantly sweet—and I’m a little relieved to see Raz take a subdued sip of his. The last rays of the sun shine brilliantly though the tree canopy and make the top of the waterfall appear golden. We share a long, cozy silence.
“So,” Raz says finally, “how did you like Merryvale? Raz must seem like a different cat to you, now that you’ve seen where he comes from.”
“It’s a beautiful place.”
“Yes, and you met this one’s beautiful neighbors, to whom Raz made many beautiful promises when he thought he would never be coming back to Merryvale.” He takes a long drink. “Raz thanks you in advance, as he knows you will also not be telling anyone how that ended.”
I swish around the rum in my cup, then finish the rest of it. “Did you really think you were never going back there, when you told them?”
He sighs, and finishes what’s in his cup. “Sometimes love makes people do irrational things,” he says. “And now you know, this one has been in love at least three times, so… that’s very irrational, yes?“
“If making promises you don’t plan to keep counts as being in love, then it’s been many more than three,” I say, laughing, downing the rest of the rum in my cup. “Come on Raz, you’re a better liar than that.”
“Raz did say at least three times,” he says, without much humor in his voice. He sighs and leans his head back, covering his face with his hands. “Raz is only a good liar to people who have not seen his mother steal all of his confidence with a steely precision that would make Rajhin jealous. Thankfully, that is most people.” He refills his cup, then mine. “But leave it to Mother to get right to the truth, yes? And you have now met Raz’s neighbors in Merryvale, so you have seen this truth firsthand.” He sighs at length, like he’s about to say something he doesn’t want to. “It is very embarrassing to have an admired comrade find out that this one is actually the selfish, manipulative bastard his detractors curse.”
“Hey, I don’t think that about you! How could anyone who really knows you believe that?”
“Raz is telling you, Mother does really know him.” He doesn’t sound upset, just resigned, which might be worse. “Raz knows his reputation; he knows that many of his acquaintances would readily believe a rumor that he is just as much of a snake to his friends as he is to enemies of the Crown. He also knows he is charming enough to easily re-convince them otherwise.”
As with many things he says, I can’t tell if he’s implying seduction, deception, intimidation, or pure charm, but before I can ask him to clarify, I realize that the very fact that I have that question—and that he is more than capable of any combination of those—proves his point. I take a sip of my drink and nod, convinced.
He takes a long drink and looks out at the river, sighing. “But it would not change the fact that, for example, he hurt three lovely Khajiit he grew up with, because his ego was too fragile to see beyond his own whiskers.” He takes another sip, then gestures toward me with his cup. “You must not tell Raz that did not lower your opinion of him.”
“Well, it’s… definitely not one of the more noble things I’ve seen you do.”
“Ha! So diplomatic! Prior to then, you had mostly seen Raz disregard common decency in suave, roguish service to the Queen, and look so-sleek doing so. You had not seen him do it in selfishness, and so clumsily to boot.” He sighs, and drinks. “The folks back home in Merryvale see right through this one.”
“You’ve changed a lot since you last saw them, huh?”
Raz sighs. “Immeasurably.”
“For the better?” I ask, finishing my drink.
“Unquestionably.”
“From the perspective of someone who doesn’t know them, I don’t think they see through you. I think they look at you and see Razum, the sweet-talking troublemaker who left Merryvale many years ago.”
Raz appreciatively nudges me with his elbow. “Raz sees what you are trying to do, my kind friend, but… this one is very much still the arrogant liar who made sweet-toothed promises to his neighbors to get what he wanted, because he was too much of a coward to tell them he could never be happy with a life spent harvesting moon-sugar.”
“Being an arrogant liar is what makes him so valuable to Her Majesty, right? And his sweet-toothed promises too, I’m sure.”
He tips his cup to me.
“See? You’re still an ass, I’d never deny that, but I can’t see you doing something like that to someone now.”
“No, Raz is a much better liar now; he does not have to lie just to make pillow-friends. He finds them naturally on the strength of his sleek and elegant lies for Queen and country!”
I laugh, and we sit in tipsy silence.
After several moments, Raz sighs and says, “and… to be fair… this one’s neighbors still had to make him fear for his life in order to get an apology out of him.”
“You eventually gave it?”
“Yes… this one just had to get over himself a little first. But once I did, I listened to all of them, and apologized truly. And I apologized that they had to force it out of me. As Raz said earlier… sometimes it truly is valuable to see reflections of your less-respectable qualities.”
“But actually reflecting on them, being willing to apologize for them, and doing your best to make them right… those are good qualities you now have that you didn’t back then. Why is it so hard to believe that you’ve grown up, at least a little?”
“Heh, fine. I suppose you are right, five-claw. And Raz did not exactly give Kideya and Rakh-ja much of a chance to see that.”
“I can’t blame you for trying to put up with as few cutting remarks as possible,” I say. “It really started to bother me. You’ve saved my life before.”
“Raz admits, he did not fully realize what he was asking you to do in staying quiet through their insults, since he was so used to them.“ He finishes what’s in his cup. “Perhaps that is something else he should spend some time thinking about. Sometimes we all get used to things we should not, yes?”
I nod. “Especially the most resilient of us.”
He refills his cup and takes a sip. “But! Perhaps new moons have risen for Raz’s family relations! This one is not ready to trust it just yet, but he now finds himself in the shocking position of having received an apology and an enthusiastically glowing admission of pride from his mother.” He gestures at me with his cup. “Nicely done, as usual.”
“You act like I lied to her, like it was some sort of scheme! All I did was talk about you honestly.”
“Ah, heh. Perhaps Raz needs some time for it all to sink in. Or more drinks.”
We share another long but comfortable silence, both of us taking the occasional sip of rum. The moons are visible now, but the last rays of the setting sun still filter through the trees. My arms and legs are starting to feel pleasantly warm, and my head feels satisfyingly buzzy.
Raz breaks the silence again. “Rakh-ja was telling this one that he is in love with a Bosmer who had come through to help at the farm. They write each other letters.” He grins.
“That’s adorable,” I say, smiling at the thought. “I guess that’s what he meant when he saw Brogomir and said he wished he got letters from tiny elves.”
“He said that? Ha!” Raz seems pleasantly surprised.
“I thought he was joking!” I finish my cup. “Maybe technically telling the truth—cryptically, in plausibly deniable way—is a talent that runs in the family,” I suggest. I think I said all of those words right.
“Let us hope so, for the future Rakhzargo-dar!” Raz says, raising his cup. “Anyway, it is not so far to Elden Root from Merryvale, so Rakh-ja is doing as many extra chores as he can, so he can take days away from the farm.”
“Aww.”
“I left him a little pouch under his pillow—enough coin for his next caravan ride, and Raz’s personal favorite Bosmeri poem. Raz has had much success, being versed in poetry of the various races of Tamriel. He wishes Rakh-ja the same success.”
I refill my cup, and we silently toast Rakhzargo’s budding relationship.
“He must be pretty serious about this mer if he’s willing to do all that… stuff,” I say.
“Yes, in Raz’s lifetime he has done many stupid, embarrassing, laborious, dishonest, and/or dubiously legal things for love—well, mostly for… love-adjacent pursuits. But he still cannot imagine being so in love that he is willing to do extra chores,” Raz shakes his head in disbelief.
I laugh more loudly than I’d intended. “Raz, everything you do could be characterized as ‘being so in love that you are willing to do extra chores!’” I try to temper my laugh, which is only possible to do by taking a sip of rum.
Raz sets down his cup in mock offense. “How dare you suggest this! What would ever give you that impression!” He touches his hand to his chest in dramatic shock.
“In your defense, even Her Majesty considers the Crown’s official business a ‘chore.’” I am learning jokes! I am hilarious. “You have always promised me you would tell me the good Ayrenn stories when we were drunk,” I say, finishing the last of what’s in my cup. “Here we are.”
“Ah, it is a sadness, but you have unfortunately missed the short window where Raz is both drunk enough to be willing, and sober enough to do so coherently.” He downs what’s left in his cup. “But! Suffice it to say… the truth is much more complicated than that, five-claw.” He gets very quiet. Then, to my astonishment, Razum-dar volunteers more information than is sufficient to answer a question. “Maybe once Raz loved her,” he says, shaking his head. “Maybe he still does. No, probably, he still does.” He sounds so sincere that I’m momentarily confused.
I shake my head to sober up a bit, because this is the good stuff, despite Raz’s warning. “She never felt the same?”
He smiles. “In our younger days, Raz was so smitten with her, but back then, she never felt any deeper than a drunken mistake or two. Well, four, to be precise. And a half.”
He probably doesn’t want to hear how sweet it is that he remembers how many. “Half a drunken mistake, huh?”
“Yes—four eighths.” He shoots me slick smile to indicate that he will not be elaborating. “Anyway, now, Raz’s old friend Ayrenn is the Queen. She considers those days behind her, and truthfully, so does Raz.” He fills my cup, then his, and takes a sip.
I am honestly not sure whether to believe him. “Hm… you ‘probably’ still love her, but those days are also ‘behind you’?” I look at him sideways while sipping my rum.
His mouth is full so he wags his finger at me while he swallows a gulp of rum. “That is a very unfair characterization,” he says, swaying a little. “Just because Raz said those words in that order…”
I intensify my sidelong gaze.
He sighs. “Raz understands your skepticism, five-claw—this one would also disbelieve Razum-dar in this conversation.” He leans his head back sleepily. “But… this one’s life, reputation, physical safety, and personal pride are all already devoted to Queen Ayrenn and the Dominion. More than that… that is too much devotion, yes?”
Very diplomatic, but I can tell there’s more. I stare at him expectantly.
When he opens his eyes and notices me staring, he sits up and stares back at me for several moments, then takes a long swig, and sighs with disgust. “Fine,” he says, leaning his head back and closing his eyes again. He speaks quietly, and with very little bravado. “Raz has known Ayrenn for a long time. He was, of course, embarrassingly smitten with her, instantly—he is from Nowherevale, Anequina, and she was a beautiful Altmer princess who saw that Raz was smart enough to keep up with her and clever enough to be very valuable—of course in addition to entertaining, charming, and handsome. Ayrenn appreciated and cared for this one very much—and in many ways—but she is an Altmer noble, yes? It did not even occur to her that it was possible to have romantic feelings for someone who is not Altmer. Which was fine, as such things could never be possible for us.”
“Oh come on!” I say, forgetting that he is telling me his own feelings, rather than a very good story about someone else. “Royalty have romances with people they aren’t supposed to all the time! Having a secret affair with one’s close advisor of a different race is kind of boring, actually.”
“Ha! Just so,” Raz says, “but, that is not the impossibility.” He takes a long drink. “It is bittersweet, yes? Time moves faster, for this one, than it does for Ayrenn. We are around the same age, but Ayrenn was still gaining height, when she met this one. Perhaps you have noticed her detractors call her a child? This is because she is still a kid, by Elf standards—barely old enough to have a profession. She has had to grow up a lot, and her bedding-Khajiit-as-an-act-of-rebellion days are over—by now, it has even occurred to her that it is possible to fall in love with someone who is not a High Elf. She has always seen Raz’s good qualities, such as the ones you just forced him to admit to, even when he very clearly failed to display them. And her appreciation for him only strengthens. But while her idea of love has matured somewhat… Raz has matured much faster. As have his ideas about love. ” He looks out over the river and sips his rum.
I have some feelings about time and the way we all move through it, but I am drunk and getting personal information out of Razum-dar; this is not an opportunity I will waste. I nod thoughtfully for a respectful length of time. “Hm,” I say quietly. “That addresses the ‘those days are behind you’ part, but not the ‘still love her’ part.”
Raz glares at me. “Raz is very suspicious of people who listen to him closely enough to notice his strategic omissions.”
He sits back again with resignation, and sighs. “There is a piece of Raz that is still the selfish, overconfident, and so, so, so stupid young cat this one was when he met Ayrenn. And there is a piece of Ayrenn that is still an obnoxious High Elf princess who has never known real danger, hunger, or struggle. Those two idiots will always have a feeling about each other that is not love, but as close to it as they are capable of, and just as irresistible. Said idiots live only in our memories, in the moment in time when they both got to be in the same place. Otherwise they are gone, and this is very much for the best—for us, for the Dominion, and for the mudcrab fight rings and live slaughterfish dealers of Tamriel.” He smiles the I-will-not-be-elaborating smile again. “But those two jackasses will also live as long as we do, yes? This is more than enough—one of us is an Elf, after all.”
It’s just nice to hear him say nice things. “Raz, I am glad you’re my friend,” I say. My head is swimming, but in a nice way. The moons are very clear. It’s nice.
“Heh. Raz has not seen you this drunk before, five-claw,” Raz says, distinctly drunkenly. “Perhaps spending time with Kideya had the same effect on you that it did on this one.” He pours out the last of the bottle, some into his cup and the rest into mine.
“I’m going to say something,” I announce… “I don’t think Kidi… Kedd… Kend… your mother ever really gave up on you. Some of my best Razum-dar stories… she believed them very easily. Like she suspected all along.”
He laughs a little sadly. “You are kind to your old friend Raz, truly. But this one suspects her extracredulousity may have something to do with the messenger. It is not every day you meet the Champion of Anequina, slayer of dragons, Moon-Hallowed, savior of Tamriel and Nirni, hero of the Dominion, and so on.” He does a lazy but sincere toast to me, like he can barely lift his arm.
“Raz!” I don’t know why this embarrasses me so much, but it does. “Here I thought I was just a normal… uh… adventurous citizen to her. You told her all that?”
“Yes,” he says without hesitation, “this one had no choice. While you and Brogomir were arranging for a messenger to Alinor, Raz was testifying to your good character—so Mother would know he was not inviting a degenerate like himself to dinner. Unfortunately, Mother initially mistook Raz’s friendly admiration for a sign that perhaps there could be grand-kittens for her, down the road.”
I recoil in mild disgust. “Oh.”
“Yes,” Raz says emphatically. “No offense, but Raz had to stop that line of thinking immediately. So, he told her about you saving the world—anyone would admire the legendary defeater of Molag Bal, the one who stopped the Planemeld. Mother was stunned that her good-for-nothing son has frequently fought alongside someone whose deeds were foretold by the Elder Scrolls.” He swishes the last of the rum in the bottom of his cup.
“Ha, well, I am a little embarrassed, but we absolutely cannot have your mother expecting you to settle down.”
Raz nods. “Raz knows he’ll someday have to tell Mother the truth: unless something goes very, horribly differently than Raz has planned, there will never be kittens, and he is thorough about making sure of this. He chooses duty over all else. He has mostly stopped telling people that this is what truly makes him happiest, because it is rare that anyone believes it.”
I’ve never really thought about it before, but of course, of all people, Razum-dar would have words for something I’ve felt but never articulated. “Yes!” I say, slapping his arm in friendly agreement. “They’ll just tell you that you’ll change your mind when you meet ‘the right one,’ or when you get too old to hold a weapon.” I take a long swig. “Anything is possible, even that, but that’s not what I want for myself.”
Raz nods emphatically. “Ha! This one is glad you understand, five-claw! Of course you do!” He waves his almost-empty cup at me. “Even Ayrenn tells this one that he will slow down and find someone to grow old with. Raz thinks she just doesn’t want him to be alone, as she knows she will be—she will have to marry someone she does not love, almost certainly. But this one? He will never be alone! He has friends all over Tamriel.” He gestures again at me with his cup, nearly spilling what’s left in it. ”And, of course, he has pillow-friends in every city, for when a situation calls for deep friendship."
“Ha, cheers to deep friendship,” I say, lazily but sincerely toasting, barely able to lift my arm.
“Now, you…” Raz continues to point his almost-empty cup at me, “must have pillow-friends on different planes of existence. Raz is envious. You must tell him your secrets sometime.” He finally finishes the last of what’s in his cup, which he emphatically sets down next to him, upside down.
I nod with exaggerated modestly. “Ha, I’m flattered, Razum-dar,” I say curtly, “but if I tell you my secrets, I’ll have competition—“
“—very handsome, charming, cultured, clever competition,” he says, knitting his brow with mock concern. “Hm, yes, Raz deeply sympathizes with your problem. Fine, this one will get to different planes of existence without your help. Eh, except tomorrow, when he needs your help." He reflects a moment. "Ha, if the Psijic we are meeting is somehow not an insufferable stuck-up dweeb, perhaps this one will ask them if they would like to bring Raz to Artaeum for a night, and... stretch out time.”
“… I might know someone in Coldharbour you’d get along with,” I joke, laughing, finishing my cup and likewise smacking it upside down onto the wood of the massive oak tree’s root.
“This one has been there once or twice. Ah, Raz’s vision is blurry, it is like he’s there right now,” he laughs. “Is it by any chance the lovely Bosmer trader near the Hollow City wayshrine?”
I wasn’t actually thinking of anyone; I thought he’d know I was joking. “No, I—“
“Or, oh, the sleek and muscular Argonian blacksmith with the—“ he mimes tall horns.
“I could barely get him to talk to me; perhaps you’d have better luck? But, if you’re into big horns and shapely tails—“
“Not even you could introduce this one to the… sexy… Prince of Schemes.” He can’t finish the sentence without giggling, then breaking into full-on laughter.
“Mm, his voice though,” I say, also laughing. “Hello, handsome—” I say in a very bad impression of the Lord of Brutality and Domination.
“—the… Planemeld… is nigh… if you know what I mean…” Raz says seductively, lowering his voice ridiculously to do an equally bad impression.
We are both very drunk and laughing, wiping tears from our eyes about our not-all-that-funny jokes.
“You’re right, though…” I say, through giggles. “I probably couldn’t introduce you.” I start laughing at my joke before I can even say it. “We’re… not on very good terms right now.”
I’m laughing, Raz is laughing, pretty moons, nice friend, good rum. As I laugh, I lean my head back against the tree, and I realize how tired I am.
I wake up in a leather and hide bed, in an unfamiliar communal inn room, with the moons shining directly into my eyes through the window, and my head spinning. I’m still in my traveling leathers, but my boots are off my feet. The blanket Raz and I were sitting on earlier is wrapped around me, and there’s a large jug of drinking water on the floor next to me. I know for sure I couldn’t have done all that myself. I sit up, chug about a third of the water, and manage to get off most of my leathers before stumbling back into bed, turned away from the moons this time, smiling about a joke I don’t remember.
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Fair point about the majors and jobs that everyone will get. If it's open ended, then every reader can make their own head canon about what they will do after college.
Also, I like that in this story and your other stories, if Catelyn and Jon are at odds or come from different socio-economic backgrounds, then you don't portray Catelyn as hating Jon, but she is portrayed as being cautious and weary of the boy/man that is dating her daughter, but is willing to give him a chance; and if he is decent/good, she will grow to like him.
A lot of people portray Catelyn and Jon as hating each other and being unable to see eye to eye, even in modern au fics.
I've talked about the way I write Catelyn before and I literally wrote an entire fic about the Jon/Cat dynamic lol
I do understand why people make her the bad guy. If you love Jon (and I do!! He's my favorite) then I can see a lot of people falling into the trap of his POV, with her in the evil stepmother role. But she clearly isn't, and there's so much more to her, but people seem unable to look past Jon’s view of her. They dismiss Ned’s viewpoint, all her children’s, Brienne, even Jaime or Tyrion, who have a begrudging respect for her. It’s just “boo, evil lady is mean to Jon” (which, was she actually? Or did she simply not act like his mother, because she isn’t?) Do I think Cat is blameless? No. I definitely think she could have recognized that Jon was just a child who needed a mother. But Cat was also just barely an adult herself when she’s suddenly faced with her husband’s infidelity and now two babies to raise. I’d be bitter, too. As I’ve said in other asks, she misplaced her anger with Ned onto Jon. Is it right? No. Is it understandable? Yes.
And as one person said in a comment once (can’t remember when or where, sorry!), for every Jon, there’s a Ramsey. She has a right to be worried about Jon’s intentions.
I think it's the same way people fall into the evil older sister view on Sansa, because they take Arya's book one POV at face value (also I swear these people have never had siblings?? I guess they’d be horrified by the way my sister & I acted when we were younger and call one of us horrible for it).
I think a lot of people decide right away that they don’t like Cat, or Sansa, and they just never change their mind on it. Which is fine, if that’s what they want to do, they don’t HAVE to like every character, but I do think they’re missing out on a lot of nuance with both by pigeonholing them as “bullies”. (Also I think a lot of it is just poorly disguised misogyny lol)
Sorry, this got into rant length. My bad.
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libidomechanica · 1 year
Text
Untitled Composition # 9514
A ballad sequence
               1
Grows holds. Would breeze is hash, and without     soon for former lurked be, but after my sours fair; heap     it hath pretty Ovid
tutor, while he but Love, shed     beautiful, Kill he nor leaf wrapt in trembleth on the wicket     blew on his case. Such a
pair of rose faith old England, and     her foolished-for young, yet the bought hour, just said aspect     wore a cow’s none, and in
his to paper, he walls, glitter     blush; for little sleepeth not distant play she had a pair.     He wept with Beauty thunder.
Because the pallace its ways     my very short all; but heart ended most group that draughter,     died twitch’d all about like
flesh is enclose then moral beneath     holds more a mortals, nor the years and in my caress     was not sweet, and did me
by the Temple cannot paid down,     down sphere all the characted chiding mad—Lord! He dreadful     by its terrible till
all thine eye and to quench can show     you were two sadly would lend to keepe, a sort of Kai Khusrau.     Shall the had know even
the fruit, floor of two are wrough     he gold or to our white again, and wreck’d to end, and some     quite well, mystic missed her
without rage thy silver-set; about     your chair? In on that doth splendid spight poets pray did     Cup of candless is Papa
foolish men! About to abate,     a friends might Muses the all the women’s birth a girls     in them answer, or Jove.
               2
Of Bread limbs for she did. To my     vision by the small possessive rapid rushing out Harvest     Homer’s achilling
valley. Joys upon the night? A     Soothings, excell and take vp the twist, and refuse, for those,     soft warm earth much a starry
eyes like Marius, to wish     it look’d upon the eye doth except some is wife and soldier     went to gives tip gum,
pungentle smuggling valley-     found a horne as for they saw, and rages nor I am     cautious the frock still: the
hearts the cheekes, a hospitable     frogs sting snakes many chronicle; men tell your delight,     and within, and want now
lockt; but brings and some lands, of Joy.     Under from the except obliging wither’d guess, but, but     a paradise or thin
the Lip I kiss her stand from high     and then fire—my mind like a pilot lines to pot, till or     ruth an amatory
to eat the eye, as faint her neck,     went about most exemplary folds into their bridale     pale lips billow in
think the same call. And flowing veins,     but for Refuge, and like a causing, and who blunder which     I force: the moon. Their goal
of our delicate and poet;—     passion shiny body on in Energy—his heavy     articulate with here;
for nautical economy,     with this his sight not have when seize of lovers betrayed away     from the best people
he common sensual look to     eye do, albeit could introduce of therefore his boots     javeline, oh, below.
               3
Ah, were the bels, that clear’d to think     and they length its her chose whole even said: Go up, and not     least, he worst the mostly in golden managed by fame of     his! And lying his own,
wound for yet still—not soon formed! To     tears to-day her so in the old pass, with so fayre horror,     as they clung—but completed, and sang between: ’O woe better     in, these greatest space-
age gear blance, absent, and fire his     were not, but every sphere hope to therefore there is no high     and carry yet; at least sleep he is a sails, at me; which     white-wall’d on her race, pride
eyes dark will every much, all reward     scoffing on whiles an endleshanks, if my mammy yet.     My eyes gleam’d to hero in and though so this delight, too;     if her win; and unsmooth
rocks. As one thinking which is my     sheepe thunder than this done, and done, a Box whose alone, save     one with pain felt, in who too weltring since a think of higher     Phip, let all, or wind
blaws the univers or some most     fade liness; he hall. Tis suppose brain springs are fell thy     carriage was a freak a strangled mud. Fair, that heat, here, while     concentrap, nor clothes but
chink the feudal knight? Being gainst     those we lay, and patriotic charades, I will retiresome     ye for a love of reach’d the water general, base,     a wife. Wave was it alone,
and out a World to Mire.     Each cruel love speak, then longer pauses of an opiate,     we cease the torn from the cow slowly adayes caughters to     the moon is cries, I griefe
but a garden lawns until with     glance could be had had Destined Muses crowned, although seem’d him     more sweet is glance all her face, thou would knock of such of clay,     looking-glass, She named to
get upon the shrunk, array’d a     penalty was below! Lies faire locks so white aghast, must,     nor wassail war; and the ridiculous middle ways my     verse, as the Rose the man
and went upon such puzzled but     other in life. Having Foot should no carry awake. Into     do it finding up to the rather footsteps; nor days;     his day-dawn was far behind,
below, with the said to his;     but died, so glad more advance more than that me, I’ll not there     let fall, and live in rank the smallage all; but could but to     partridge that glow spred, all
its kings—those to pleasure, and the     selfe alone it lights for his our rosary to win heaven     fresh opera, not could ye light upon its with bottle     the wombe in a Dream of
snows to kiss the gave, like to her     ear than stone that can never paper house; when we shoes, and     takes me, fie! Come and pay with dew; fragrance of champagne and     forehead is the long sinner
from the could all my love you     cry. So fit to be because I did it shall else captain     to lay, to commons, or two boated miles, nay, whose long     day leucadia’s life. Or
hour, had not thefts to his face, let     me I did the more to herself: you go, my dare not enough     heard bred effort breezes sing, that as may well, and by     daybreak they slept their sort.
               4
To stare, as tis what euen grayne prayse     to women silver of the patron. So weltring how Time     lead as between pity! Hand’s unknown exactly any     gaze, vpon a beef is impatient tribute of his distinct,     flagged for worke, that runs pardon
get fret. The chop yet some debris     of shamed of clay above held out all, and coffing has     of keen rather eye’s the mystery. I’m happy, happened     only powers to sin any credit in the been delay     that projected, like
a steak. Until we’re times so drunkards     to turns up the told then her: thou gav’st me but express     in summer’s woods shall known, and all that crowning. Thus and fraction     which the Seed: a great politeness are that’s wear then she     the sky; now this past to
a faintly ebb’d to stay, I hear     there ev’ry thing, I’m relapsing is a pain. But which you     were fishers hold a squad of wemens labour’s lot, couleur     dew, the May-fly then this of them appetites, and Malayan     creature th’ height
deceive me chiefly vulture clay,     why fret of these fourth will silent mode adopted sinners;     much a hundred lyke Saphyres specially about heare apart,     till things with he saloon, else pass’d as from which pass, by     who sitting kiss who at
lay in the hinder was sickered     a ripe heart were dwell that love said? I stood through whose holds     her. A gift, and passion, ’ unlike, zombie-like to the rustle     day forth thee to which like a lapsed islands, the kiss: the     last, he same hither forgot,
nor her! Delicate day scorner;     yet once, as it thy pitying’ squired, and stays, and     you can behind the proved amongst they craft you perhaps it     was a genius by all the height and palpable reader!     There he came to fear I
fill, to tak me again two that     hardly wet. To be told the nights the voice happing to each     like sire, and wave receive that extensions, exulting     there is stillnesse, the Stone of Phoebus gilds his own into     the said: I will be East,
a prize pig, ploughs like Rain to pay.     About us—Lo, laughing for it was, head, women death     of the Crowes past enlarge. Concession, they have land with     rays of me; well, and delightness: Tim would chafe and euen their     bed my helpe me to tame:
presences to the bard had an     end, a strap. Of all where was between tribute of our grassy     and each transmission, dust, and seen of my believe; and     thus he sat at Apollo’s father that euer scarce a thine.     But hearted, above thy
strange, no one to death, he knew, the     takes of shoes were no light mote the days music which another,     will give then he left. Now the ball dance in sprit would     traveller, and more coveted the Winterview all hush’d—and     though worlds beyond him the
same consumers and me, begin     you all was usual Throne, happiness ocean-stream, than     answer, nor no resume, they had been vermeil cheek the     cut away her becke, so whence, thus, the boats will croking stay,     and in their name. Lords meaning
so, and foam and each is, song,     stupid seeming youth stutter’d, she was ’ware, the ship gave mark,     dark. Their Instead one started Bowl we remorsel for thinly     me to cast upon her chosen from which she says that     sleep, prodigious she shipwrecks,
or others—How so good only     chaunce I Ioues departed. Came are fearful that you ask,     whose our touch time forbade the ingenuous your clothes but     fingers and splendous to quest is; the Vine hero glad of     Life to let thing home weep
faire soothe ocean, slipping should do;     but I hesitation. With due reluctant, being moon     is beautiful was not but have been fancient Hag of Fate.     Of Kaikobád and pious and joy: more the most familiar,     and all uncurl’d o’er
this mine has a large teares, with     humours faint, being quitting Boy, would pose, where vertical     of you on a man love spent horribly use doe ten turn’d     that, whose love she crowned, or rather need he had as it scatter,     piano, and
Malayan creature move behind; but     wish you county drank their wealth in and was never locker     pit, for what you stole among to grow and not show you dancing     in theirs in shook the carue, my Mine owne brief. In has head:     therefore: he was been see.
               5
And I was much display’d like an     ear is same, the opportunes? Who die drugstores of lope     to the narrow, Sweet! Up
from peeling of them had a woman’s     as the fingers throw. ’ Cries quite as if a great winged you     drinking though with tears. The
Forrest Planet flower the damzels,     diplomatis. Do, whose began to all our gynocracy;     your into the
Templest have me. And the one arms     and blood? And leaf make you? Lifted eyes she’d rather hurry     in the make their face: perhaps
their wealth’s austerity, you     art! The said it to proper pass’d: profit murmur’d—Gentle     one of further the flesh
their own sweet i want not have I     can never the black a husband. When does no eye Love, that     is ever that all who
soothings to place! And that was shone     was a word. When a mortal million plasma, listening a     fingers, but the grove, with
they did her boy, when he hallowering     heart. Until the unshut his valet—bid him in     my loue, and the swore meant,
with his appearance. Re-mouth, each     hangs surprise, till tender that learn how blub like an undone,     her could seemed aside to
directly hats and two, then it     is, no doubt he hall. Now Will the speed a brilliant his tapers     with a dead, and those
house shown—yet of you. Could many     a sharks still in water. Contrary, but for a salvations,     who stirs is the song
when the world’s be, if such in pass’d,     but night cash the road was, he was day haue of Thee.—The Grape     that began to prune, glad
Genius by a love and hardly     courtesy. Had much, that rest Julia! Were Noah’s Witness: try     to get all the ocean.
               6
He at the kingdom but in true and yet confines,     as a magic she tablet, then from the virgins leap’d—I came on her sing; sweet snatcheth     nights quivering can the Intellect
in half of hurt doth springs have speakes her presence     of high despair or two other husband,— or so. And stopp’d. How peepe; nay more the seem’d towering     their place, above with your Doppelganger’
dying on it in hand, louded eyes I     have a danced the law into denounced, and grace; but have you could deprecious tell there not     o’er-reach increasing is a fores
from the sun, seemed as if the remarkably cursed     to the name overboard, the woodbines of colours to a tough: and one excel: for     as in the dare nough and deeply sweeten
my fair Haidee stepped in these virtuous sing     bigger. He could make see thirst love-kindling that conformer with friend, to name. And Noes, and,     he did defence, what is increasing
eye, and short of Moses fervently on the there     a man morality is a shore; the other face and the seek; all think to the next     rest for than well upon the lower,
glimmer, till at then still still still her day on their     plant state, ascending balks of she have doth real: the waters of delite, I will recover     of Bread I said before thou turn,
and hearts; the fall looking. She answer’d the sky. Or,     which hastens mechanically around; while things it: this and with splendor; in the thither     linkes orderer of loue with the
read and give me present cried: The Shah was coal all     the plant of hot first be heave to a becke, swift dishes a woman in heart your mind like     taxi girland a twofold short all,
at time and the jasmine eye poure high prizing at     them in the and inward the soil,—for to strife. The stopt with the Great hear to first be enought     hues would in trembling sunny laugh
firm, lest society increase,—well to the strength     it long which are of old England. But, yourse; but drawn of her sing, tis true, ’ she messenger     came of they accidents, those or I.
               7
Into somebody descendance.     I though wind? Of all heart these are not be disaray, the     sun, trouble, which mates did in medicament I real as     life was a veins loue and
marriage-bed of Things great the Essence     a scarce is nation woods shall fling which the secret of     the can’t fall ill protection would be a dunce, and dumplin     burn to lessons have to
praise, breathless can we have been to     decks, tree. Hung with all every original, so gently,     before than gazing other sigh’d, and on high up to halls,     with others trim. Woe; our
hear; your gun fixed at ane an’ twenty,     in a new Marriage- tomb, ourse or frame and, still, that seem’d     amiable for drew her none that did blast of a long,     like thing in herb, treasures—
rather grandsome in shal and thus     it as her fell upon their couragement of you an     one I love and all more vs answer, thought, and all. To-     morrow besides me: from
the cup of Heaven birds, and thus     it he women sees. Of us have pleasure—like Snow up     his front door against his little light the beautiful had     spoke to the selfe-felt the
show no more came my sheepe than I.     In Balboa Park and so, these, starved prince, and recent fountain-     strewed for hoarded joints of the secure and plaid, It     touch as a little Merman
Churches; ’ there he this pillours     between; without very sure to their hammer to     metaphysician of heart will night, thou no place and broad angel     bring too. On which thing the
shoes, nor seen the run her cure. Come,     feel that Juan’s solemn hood. Music swimmers, articular     louder than sunk, yet you wilt sand washboard; whilst her, where was     a generous praised, look,
thus theatre. Some goodly dress     quite in turn sate whom, answer’d, I’ve was said; the old curb’d the     black Friar as rum, laws were better glitter the o’er him!     Stumped him both to given,
for grave had reach only sinking     tars, with a name occasion; the world is part but the keep     this energies, and hit me now come! In a raiment sleep,     laughed an echo of grapes.
               8
Eyes were sweet Adeline at     Christippus, and perched and blind make on his invisible linen     he hall, until I
stood with the cuttering. Have you     why I sick for my talk friends ne’er his pardon my arms a     pelisse, which soul shall dumb
confusion good to Juan, whose gently,     like to tell, if ghosts call’d the beauty—Beauty only     we thy swear—the year, alike
vnto heart i am not. A     dark leaf, unletter dames which old man’s playing happye Ewe, while     play in a walk with all
the tree, since more the best of the     air, they, but where balm, lull’d again the first, nor mighty, in     molten golden his grapes.
               9
Again an echo of chamas’s’     from any have been, the skin trigger. Glance wad na spirits     wild, whom heap the sullied
night, losing sheeped, long powre, lull’d     t’ entertain show my winges in molten black, in suction;     they bene in the
mimic stations—probably cured in     lieu of low was well be no more the gentle vs answer,     answer now, I dreames
sit, chirping or you; and to     go throw the top.—Who told them like you for having it or     only Knots of their
desires, be here the said the church     do what a little to kiss the dawn of those. Of conducive     to all truth and dumplin
bumper young, I’m o’ertake their     perils, to these was all think, or so true lord Henry with     Rule and none of sunset
glow, and if e’er had he way down     arrived. Twenty, which without at it former lay without     this miser’s asexual
visitant Drum! Mourning been     vain,—let us a long— no disputed laboures must,     and about the Wind a
throught I’ll always of this host, the     swirl and not know none of your skins. And the Stygian right     bay, and the whose trees were
are faculties so torments be     forgotten we have to given, for his orient rags     too as for their mastern
Time at him, and then—’tis true spent     leaves up, and he opposition so transformer lay lass:     the base; and of Desire,
till ne’er out, then all     preparatives Sam a little or a man mortal made for     some hit, that they knew not
rob all they showers, mother and     that nowe imploy’d therefore there, a substant change each his pocket,     come: or liberate
consequench of promises that     Salámán not much bending to my lady’s very dame,     their Instead of beer. Some
glory in the wind, the rock, and     part that, staine, i’ll never my self-same like a trees receive     and I, how blest, feel these
are nor There we lovelier to     feelings, extent without as the world must need therefore were     still t is no to-day?
That at mine lies. Must, person, wars,     that cloak I hate, and life and of glass of the more to be     run before state, I labour,
and being an endleshanks     my Muse, open your haught to be it is my carry yet.     Love is already Writing
thee, Herrick, an empty Glass!     Dead is save a kind of a grave: and now thing to restless     Surface. Then all their grasp.
               10
’ More the harbor and another     like very without a tenderness every much I in     the Shah, and displeas’d me
leak November the cause he spot     that all thou may cease the best my hair; heap to these thigh almost     prying his an sweet,
what profanely, no doubled     over can added mouth saddles are fond bones that made it     the Wastle the inward
their bed my which bodies my hands     into one mine own feel the caste would everywhere than the     devise tongue it was easy
virtues of might, but them then     though his and let us priest was to see some, and break the     flits own. Against the lower
blood’s lips and he knot of hist!     And one gentle very bow, leaving tone aurora Raby     within little cause
the Fortune than broad at constables,     end, are something warm Frenzy caught have nothing of that     with she wall, yet, for none
her could envying off his letter     with dreadful deeds. Upon my crafty like an hardest snatcher,     but her: for moves and
Lo! Two men, Hymen from the sparing,     hidden is honour are merit in the current the     bestow it. And call Thee
theyr shot. The Sinking her one day,     to wake: for shell. Very pen, I burn, burnt the friar of     his face, has he way, which
do betray, away forced whence, here     no plagued wind what bring an articular fed up because,     the bring, nor carry day.
               11
But therefore: the cold dancing silence     able some other’s rightening still embassage, and     strange is, bitter weep. It
find an old pictures me again     his garments after pumps: I’m o’ertake and answer and what     is has the son, decent
sharp-fang’d for insolently the     headache, nor with thee broken of air, how love than this     another what the need notes,
the remarkably breakers of     unthreshed to my own swung to fight: had my head with     delightest make me preuie to
wet Clay: she oft forasmuch as     a hell, and it brave hath fingered Lilia; Why not suspects     could the dish for a
moments to It for once him to     her from much by Nature had but nothing wretched, asking,     so didst looking down boy,
while Thou my pen, for slaughter gude,     cheereful song, long that womanhood! Fast of the pamper’d     on their proof the husting.
Or knight didst the cones whose who betwixt     the wills that true call the doesn’t cry, wax’d his supposed him     like me little bowre, which
thered in the broadening of late     grimly daughters; and merry Larke her by midnight, and more.     Her head wet Clay: she
cherrywood chest, and with from the simples     with such as Albion of all arounded in, a     kind of Heaven—If thou,
or quacks and the sea-shore, and tumbled,     regaled to read or sing, and, and still: twixt the woods their     appeared. Than thine, no double
frock language feet an again:     the dark, or held and refused there’s mistress, society     and still things forest
way have wink about to grasse north;     thus by seeing dread. And shawl, this come could I ever stepp’d     sometimes more us and
colds upon her vein, seeing, other     wine-and-down with iollity. Which theme for his subject;     and waters discrepancient
Secret hairy child, and all     about though the coast—and paid, shew thrown arrived the Goal,     overture. And distantly.
               12
Ever. Burn; and still remaine, so     fair crept silent trodden by my name. All night., Ceres a     wish hath scarce a sunbeams.
               13
Driven to jest upon their words.     Though her soil, Pedrillo, and Nature gnaw. Your victual Light.     Had been born is not a
received thought me frail, in bringing     into blubber’d; she’d said, t was good and sagged for the heart     I fetch in and not had
gone, and set, like Mahomet, Believed,     sweet up the elm-tops of early thou gladness times within     who—thought is street they
leave the abiding, but, whose shines     hung wide errs, possesse him all to early dared upon a     monster provide, could be.
Him wither, thy brough thee, that daught     to see why son. Hand-breed: yea, and shafts aside and that doth     last night call hand in the
earthquake,—for why I can embarrass     most ill begins. Of the belly full of mine Earth is     as ugly on to the
canno’ stand. Juan got into a     kind weak enought, understand outward prayers—but some king     to despot that utters
which some went to marriage, but shade     way quivering higher, with me? You say t was the unblest,     of late mought, thought on
without off threw also strength, and     after skin of the unblessings o’ joy, O joy, and anon     the darkness what; thought,
doe ye sweetness was old dull palace     his hast lands when some look’d at homespun their usual     look, in promises decreased
about them barely was all     recur a Pang for to the sorrow’s somethings my louer? Were     he discover that able
those little doubt not prinked     up with all westerday we have me frosty winds young psalms     that friend then, the church do
what is the hardly began to     win her natures, and this ready force the wind watching to     the times easily, with
unshut eyes may answer dowry;     and hope, with for ill-bred in a foe in a royal answered,     Edward, a chill women
the full may young, I’m relatives     a lynx, and sick talenture propane to go by the     wind would awake. Which hold
and short the joy shall foxglove’s     father ten unto his single wind even stricter, came     those little God has said?
               14
Much bespoken would take vs     answer, nor yet rate; all else to only with violence     of this rises, rose’s dispose; and most your are     distemperanza voi che enemy but wind make himself find     its cold, but thy flower
grown by suddenly grew to waned—     and Tears deep deceived upon her but those looking, in     teariness of glass, head the pallor to wakeful thing like     a bachelor they with her eyes art, that though of an in every     partanes in ten?
But at leave his very humour     sorrow I do but now a second await a stain’s no     sign of facility, nor seats: from whose rudder, at lady,     when no vulgar natures, witty has such puny doubting     to you all! Whose shed
upon the book scarce knew white, she’llwish     to remove when she harsh wave his kind she ship got or     a neck. ’ Stanza Henry wits, shiversal, wondered, were than     garments behind took at even in heaven is curb’d it     torments too wean him some
one—i’ve mad with may kiss high heau’n     of by this condemn, above histortion innocent than     thy gift, and my sake let other dression—draws her fayre     cherrywood ye her mist, no more Shah? My mammy years to grins,     name—but nothing. And impulse
a longer that I look’d on     the cloth her holds more thou gav’st me runs better upon grew,     whenas so sweet arguing dumb thoughts quicksilver broken     wind? By lasing how frail, thus to bought, but then one Dusk of     hoards th’hill’s overhead an
articular had one distress:     but thou to end. Our shalt not unlike, zombie-likeness! Which     sight, is lords resources have nough as curst Joy’s den out the     chain of mosquitoes the waterd light, the Long was who have     Public hedge of Gaule
is forgive their fears, the shorn of     its she lady to put of the Sufí; a Road, I want     of everybody who was as base, shewes love the used     of clap-trap which wore and find each another. Oft sufficient     Hag of Heaven st.
               15
By the spake she write inventions.     Whose Water be much. Long as erst head, the diverse last that     her veins no shore: the wear;
the while decreased to the human     her eyes being hunger food old Potter speculate I     not turns up to her past
was put starlight, a chants to a     blockhead. Must, they heauen the coming, thought: I know faster     procedure there. The mode be
more; for everybody that skill,     or beam of my sky over. Seek my head the boat thee, clumsy     holds. On the wants to
be stones the pangs still: And oh! And     Juan washing all aware of women, ’ said, Heaven from thee     unto thine. And there that
hob-nail Dick, to proper than I     swords them real a day there I had made then folks of bamboo     and chamber. His your mind;
his small live, which kiss, I labour     delight forgot, nough faire disinter Garments latter blank     and their docile esquires
an endles are so better     the summer dumb with us is old Sir Ralph a pleasant     walk’d out hear the virtue
is a book and on her Hearts, or     bouts rimes really rest meditary shore,—and ought that so     its sprang up; no more their
hair? She weigh’d. See lines as he fear.     Tis burst old groome: the inward was such amiss, glimmer younged,     all thought, that day scorn
the tried somethings desk and at the     one who for the dwalt of such time and all, and clowdie Well, if     I don’t cry, awake, my
fashioness dashing mortal that     every same sick of a glass of Cyrus, Rhodes, I can’t tax     em. ’ Shilling, furnish’d, female
lined Plot of all seraphs swing     a sweet. For generation and lady-clasp’d by the should     be bound, all the gave has
did the middle gay say that may     sweet remain’d, instead one sweet Communion—pure ungainly     Aurora—since of Spain?
               16
To life, God about; they brother.     Out and the saw me. Of his mast, a garden, and carry     air. While of us did
not yet another can point organ,     deep the trembling, that mote this drugs they very climb in     a woman he wind shall
which is death the Lord out off one     knew by doings, losing the World, and the whispered of Night     if only looking how
way or balls, if it prove that family-     like a rosy little God is where True Love rule, saying,     to be informal,
and next this owne long vncomely     trade of you sing, know warmth of women young manured said     the rimes could tell Thee there.
May her was enough the braids be     safety of hot or as deem, I didn’t every weaklier there     guile, storm-blast her ties by
a procure, while, and died, to thee;     a mind. She grew that mother. Sleeping, hey dress was to bits—     and, which to the Wind at
those who flung, in somethean vulture     wonder’d in always slit long yeare, and steering off as     a piece of mates it you
the respects confession’s flesh! But     wore in best instead of snow, dealing now I doe the worse,     which many a slight with
some interrupt his biding if     t is fresh with my husband rumor groan, eagerly that     face with flows to have stays,
the loved struggling Lips opening     the little and the barges, that then, ripe grace, Timbuctoo,     were this honour of the
heart The lay, left Tithonest eyes     can should them to do we rose, and theretos and not mine.     Love, and there no more but
in in that’s very part Doppelganger     yellow me but death; such as Emperor-moths, or     Spain, but yet say No, ’ set
in this higher, t were strength! Comfort     was nothings, ruin other heart I fallington have     the host, and smil’d narrow
less. Let Honour annalists have     been by a part of portly perils by her indisposite     the roome: nothing oaks.
Awake! Hope was told, once, instance     better with wretcher from strong chain-pump still we stood aloof     heavy soul. Ere he strife,
so that all my arch everybody     burning dominoes like tumultuous steady, three     frosty windy shot. Know
not; and feed, till die her do too     man I am pretty ring even the stood; but I am     weary could it take
you talk for sight, and solemn birds:     pleasure the beneath that all the chaste kiss! Imbibe the saints—     but Fame—but something speech.
               17
Fear I fill, on what is all that.     Two before and seen God, forth from hurt or rally, till the     lay. To reason starlight
early daught his for the looks at     what in it. And the want or place for things the trepann’d, my     thou break of his tutor
ane another it sank into     a hornets rotating travell’d, since again two love or     other door. That are gone.
               18
Makes the sky wit to give me eerie,     yea, hungry could with whom? Prayers, I said, we don’t say,     or in traffic on the
balls, in performer lady withal,     manners can yield alone dumb with from out of English     men! The Two-and-water
noddy, and truly tender what     is clear falling sent could sleepe without know; and mouth before     with that you again? Which
hands great in my wrong waved the bile,     and findeth name. If you. Hath fingers all it blend when Ioues     we know it endeavour
or t’ other perplexing from     fear. The question of further here is burned a curate? Of     progress’d; and tower and
died, in the was world art with the     chased, in summer dreadful as fyre, that holds here. And thither’s     mitt, I said love a font
on the ridicules of between     you’llchoose ye away among, I’m too eager Muse! My most     have cursed Manuscriptions
as might lent impossible, one     heauens, I’m near, let had silk shade to die thy Purse the could not     largement an impart.
               19
Sudden grass; and thy pallace so     I still a short. Then stars, coffee, belovèd, and green his     caves! Plucked and unwither,
somewhere Pennsylvania, I will     not blunder the was could, pert, repetite its put on their     fall be East, and with a
transaction bred, then the crimes of     new-made presence, and that fell hap always slight be. The wind’s     unknown, or no? Than hard.
               20
True, and on his indeed, I addresse,     louer? For no remember him, in that bring at all a     little one save him as she dormitory. Thou heroic     if ye saw a sire, which were in wind at night comes     lesse parting he knew, just
your blank wall, her fall, and those     respecially screwy fiddler from God is past: and odd is     such a bluff the higher close, the awkward but sixteen driving     so late I roses, betwixt men we two mourney, when     it—I never in this
most plight giuing against a wild and     cuckolds. ’ They talked and one bring a pitches of vapour ale     some perhaps spin going thy smooth any gazed eye—this at     Christmas some effort of his heart of sailors ate hand, By     this a lady money,
this dizzy bracelet. And his poor     Pedrillo with his worshipped me—who know than the night, and     feed is that the touch one though he discover where the bark     with rigours, a fin of inward to fair! Though to walked wearing     was his, out of he
water the more probable are     young: such a rattlin’ sang a song the Horse of danger yellow’d:     but both were soul can know the humps o’er my past, tradition,     is their mermaids, with red by the rough in trembling so,     my thought, then. That sunk down
throw me but nough and Ocean who     follow, thou art beside cafe, delicate at once is     home within her, besides this day by chaste—forgiveness, who     didst my fashion, and mute? Somewhat can may preparation;     and failing t were vnioynted
thered the kind of their nuptial     into one has spoonfuls of every loue, of late ants     to It for this tutor, says, in the mouth. We cliff, toward     another by charming that well supposed and camps’ be not yet     and praised the coming me.
               21
This worthier, his self-slaugh fair     play lasing ilka bud whiskers, mother temperament and     them, and knows! Believing
today … Don’t say so, now and forth     within the keepe. For their body, to a fate seldom kept     he, poor Pedrillo’s part.
               22
Fair hands good, that he gale, were a     cold were rate are right finer stole among, the royalists of     people arm above; and
not forever smiled their bodied     and when right and that Hope some country wish to pierced, and many     other’s Lip it had
he arose, advantage precious:     they seller, his consterday? Into single his letter     forth was each way you, a
summit of fierced, and so as     Spanish’d in his money. Must blushes of patron wind, till     render a still, pattering
mourneys ending all men%u2019s     soul! From the eyes to hell! Then one, wine, mine owne thousand fair-     haired. Fair flowers, seems are
she but to drinking makes up, amaze,     when to claims of politics; the Horse’s, and still be     vain persons of enfolding,
and a ho, and only the     blood. And aching by his to a familiar, told you came.     Nothings, for the air into
a more and then it is a     human fond love been strength our bosom swell; she to my hands     with parage the bustling.
               23
Have found theirs with they fair familiarly     life paid her yell, untie, Tam! When the was hath its     puzzles that face: yts tip
gum, pungent, and desir’st thou present     to ill. My lips againe, but him, who, before mystic     Shape bearing as the bridle
and appear’d the cried of prices     of your delight, when the question as in one will rest:     the hearts, neither more and
was as dour mirrors of the show     she lake, and then well, the warm; Poore nutritiously projects     through each other strove, ’—’for
lady, in guests, and the ghost no     conducive that with commits, something to who knowing, for     the gold their brake with tears,
and a winterest in a bit;     but other whose set inexperience, and of plain’d outward     once together windy
shine, but has but still came on,     my flout; so where? At relief, they Hymen, now! And now to     do thy returns, and daunce,
to—say mother play that the rocks,     o’er him! Before when hear than Haidee was to me and that     Tim would not yet in his
extremely self to sleep with known     when basket. Swagger till tell; I chirping through heauenly the     Muses of girls—sicker,
Mr. Come me. Perhaps that     perceptions: thousands and hey, who had thus, a lake. Seems they hair;     and not white; then removèd
by sins, name. Cannot betray, and     there Truth people thy heart it was her for did the was extreme;     for als arrives a
look’d down bulk, thou the love, I would     not so all—which canal or piteous Dick was she, adorne:     who laid daily be to
which pure, and queuing up into     the ship from its forest cloak there all the sky and perch, and     keepe, maybe lovers, his
rough all the solve is nights in a     stained it, long—no double and still t is not stand. To win     heaven in these soul weare:
what good in popped away; drop of     gracious day covered ceremonies trayning, an’ twenty,     Tam. Lo thus like a part.
               24
And Phyllis is impart. But she     is which skin from much is entral, ’ in soul. The bars, and wear,     they showers to-day? Like
Horse’s, Theirs form’d to church of nut-     brown weare, engrave, like Venetian words have chops through and his     verse, ten turn Asiatic
homages; we’ll tell me Papa.     Or bird-throbbing him past make Carous breast; enough the     mass returning to
resume, to warm. A young, are all     their eye’s two world with his eye Ausonia’s rocks, trust; some run     her, and mounted—robed there;
false love or makes of patron. Or     the basquina and fortunity. A turtle one as     he island very Life
flirted took the began to boast;     how or glittering is possessors with a lonely, to     married on they scarce a
wander; and as here no more or     home, and body, whose trouble gilding neer be also many     ornament of palm:
and better only with its of     the swift forget how Vlster omen—and pity. Of eyes in     Ithaca or heels all,
or no rich in love, beyond thy     beautiful as skies just well says mean to amuse water     name over maid; and won’t
lays. Thou by particular of     Zoe’s child wine little water, the world wine, more easier     earth, of knights, sublime an
unnatural, but as between     undoned jerkin from hurt my day gave not step of     delightfall from a gutter.
               25
They to the census take me you?     Pervades on: nor brave I not trace doth spring; heroically.     When toss’d in sleep as a song: I bareness, prayses     since made of Goose, for America! And the yawn’d around     of the way to falsehood,
there two swim in my fashion’d     glorious steering alone and chaster foes country and hatch’d     and gaming, full boures compose us holy yet. I     have not in its praised his Desire is, that more. The mouth     into do waited to
Maias born. To Linus, to these lash’d     to know nothing violence that brine; nor the ebb-tide rolling     performer’s pavilion, yea, I shouting Body, slave,     and make the day. Juan did it again, I believer were     round Passionless of the
did the wish’d, she world of white     immoral lesson innovation, yea, to a rose, was the     dream, where, the old men unwither with hush and their play upon     such better the Lasciami’s, ’ and gracious set, or whether     window very day—
not to laverock and every     of you, a show it is not have him past health, protests far     away, and horror thing thrown, delight into should better     with cricket bleede; but these curving new purchase,—he sea, added     like there, head: they are,
and small the ne’er couraged yellow     staid nay; and thy tea, but when he supremely slept;     could know, he case: but shall and with her loved, relent to shadow,     Cynara! Till theyr eccho ring. Than the pretty were     languages which that for
she sea! An eyes she dead with sips     and whispered thereto the mighty Máhmúd, the pill on     his senses I to truly Bacchus with that all it good     with shrine, dry the wind any, or two’s an hours, your cold, and     gnash’d with a heart these kiss
high and the timely pace of his     upon it left, nor grow. There all time and romances front     to feel history. A letter it card or a country my     she cool cells for loving, and shaking happie Thames, a clue is     most virtue—as the soldier
the ease his effection of     fire, and Romaic. Enlarge, a breath with your by suddenly     one knew whither; if I have in the eggs washing at them     former would not soothe two blast heardes green crocket-book the     brighteth wine not fear I
fill they may come now; and wondering     came. Said of good—I won’t but reaches so the cargoes     faintly roar hissing stretch’d, and the sprinkling that which fair,     thou may remedy call now it, no eyes I look into     of courage posterity,
which can with just was enough;     such a fresh and the higher once than the Lords and pin’d esteem     their countenants, willows have knows the heart lesson is     t, but in facts. Ends: no more the being to Chastily     long ye to Cadiz only
sinking at some to be sweet     girl-gray light upon the portly peruse! Defining breasts     shore long for the vein-channels these oxless would be attends,     as my way, sets you’re when break to thing his complete there soon     to the joy that she magic
musick answer and mutton     follow away; their falling sheet, that call’d Haidee’s high to     the love, thine answer, nor she never attraction,—ray faded     fiery like to seems, long sighs, an arch ancies out     answer&they do suggest
daughty smiles: tempestuous will,     glister glimpse of calculate I not this pasture-dealer     whom I grief is it was, as the moment it seem’d it would     stood small possessed sparkle of our thin some once a thing lovers,     but for Passionless
steele his sense soft shook the Court need     that she mercy! A bloom, for was a good she wakes lyke churl     Death, the death-moths, or bouts rising sea; but when said, she four,     must die, has enough, clasp one who have landsmen’s Eyes the sky     over to heard you here!
               26
This I remember band, gazing     upon her virtuous set; but then mode be wife as quite     assemblancholy years
beat! And for a sent to think, dumb     lactation infliction in one day, to sharp as always     clever, and idle bosom
swell; she was, that much more be     vanished-for should say suppose. That day carol the sweetness.     Of the taper? The night
upon it for the cutter’d a     Prince her had been nurture gnaw. The people must of tale in     with that he way your hung.
               27
Eros hard to stay young marriages     he spin stars through to my kinsfolk at ease his own shyer,     he while that shadows what coat apart. That most and in tear,     had be doubled o’er drink!
Would every donor, rather rising     so drunk; and the bright: and fetes, for some sea: the lips     drives, as if notice cease, cheer, had be believer heard of     last, patter know welcome
that I know that she bull and all     night so stow of mine it: there is black a huge string Boy, since:     that speak of a sort of the falling fast overlid of     all was between pity
by degrees, there them so well as     the broke me. Half-history fond of golden quiuer at last, not     say what’s blue so, the ivory where the Bowl did me Couch hurried     dear, let our curly,
don Juan’s wife as her you art. From     their merit in a stumped there were more by mirror are circle.     You go thrush at found: and blood awry, and still morning     of shade of heartbeat fond
howling, with so chace fayre Hebe, and     half-past and dignite its worth in a captain, at hide, and     leaves untumbled for to raise in I desired, each hand     let thee, and sways, We’re ladies
rollins Embleme. Father veins     oft only by day your eccho ring. And New York city;     light of high—which you pinch’d her took of a surprise and the     eye, or fun water his
twiddling cake sudden from the sea-     caves, all damp and child’s as in her away, Julia! Poore no     more. And ever bluntie, since again and lass, with to make up     those flames upon high birth
to struck upon the words, which is     delight will, he knew not so Haidee. Hammer air, an endless     eyes. I look scarce know how wise did. Winds or that ye doth     violently with your friend,
I thing join halls inter meal answer’d     so he did then war! Let false than the window people     stones, neither transcends at them the Little across of ripe     grave; and Pity, Peacocks,
and stood and lie, ever aft, a     kindles touch the dead body. Then swung be, at home to vs     improve is heave if you dost priest; shut eyes: by love, dear     as I could not so far
as by his pale—without it besides     high royal answer is drinks of greaters to the woods     may spirits, or Jove. The sat in a fact the calentury     giving red the world
are, seized highest: but not exactly     was his worthy Xerxes they are like picked me from the     Knot o’er youth bending sea; and in air twine. Those pretty Face?     In the tinsell curiously,
a things me how frank, he     weathe, newspaper; the years, night not keep. And found when I in     earth sore enought, in your affair, bacchus weep it: for the     Seed of bread a meant there
and her dore in each you means every     predestiny with a share. Or has blind mantic hinges.     An Arab thief that not hush! Nay, but owns this faces,     while Venetian coast, to
treasures which wrong about this used     with my thus by loved among towne minx tripped, just religion     to be disposed: he had leaue of bile, not Rumpelstiltskin     of men. Drawer of Day answer’d,
such skin, the boy for all, no     doubt, will come day till unsunk, the wine who better; you spokes     of the sun’s ray, no doubt, without my antique houses; had     Englishman. Is from me,
again if it wealthy part of     a fair. Not so resemblance bring in fresh bath fountains a     life so longer pass’d: ocean times, these fair a top, or sleepe,     as o’er the offences.
               28
And when the window little bowre.     Oligarchs of Mortal Taint, below, as where is be, if     the tilt of her, sir; and,
some minute. What ye wonder’d, I     things entrails is Papa. Of sent from loving pleasure your     hand, as he,—thought to her
to the quantity should away.     Till well ascend, then vicious to show it, but other;     perusal stately length! And
the top thee how look’d shews the wept     a finger yellow the connections: the mystery where     in my sign to all which
bring I shrubs, wife as each he best     people in me good he short all the warm waters of ioy     course of your survivors.
               29
But less your feare owing join. She     harsh wave will gazed upon the same, that playne, and when its chosen     on her be you like
at the long years lovelier to     while other foreshadow lifts inners, who is an only     passengers are, and his
companion, the most joyfull her     face, pen, resolve is in vainer of friends light returned them.     Friend; dust come, no doubt, lest
holding, like a thicke, so absorb     a gallant high, grantors, and shaped the Good, and so he cold     the night life it her, and
I adjourne, where a bird; and the     sat in the day score,—I wounded humour happy. But I     adore, the will kindling;
for the ever see it shook to     me sing, that she same A day to entire was a woman.     Have we have me with
the earthly souls fly tossed high, let     still mourne, as a woman’s abundant,—one young merciful     as done by ourse thought it?
               30
To resume, to—not stars to ‘Hallam’s Middle.     Brough in place! Like man. She can household and much mortals, with Love’s, and so to them in ilka     quality, in silent that, he
could shivering had that very pen, the would still     earth puffing hereafter had been steps dreams to the Arrows pain’d, my own because to should     having there such a part ’tis not for
the lave hear my sky grew will send around to quell,     thus them, and goodly guardians bans is gewgaw cast and clay, dove-like a love a morning     for she’s boat, innocent, hear
divided through it mean it so goodbye like to makes     sweet, and waited to fear, as he; but reminded the fair Corinna sits as bid my     skies so befell. He saw they ought vpon
the maid its wink about—and, do not holy     Trinidada, ’ the moon. ’Er the found though atweene some broadening salt weeks. Its resound the sun     rose that Firmán-issuing on its
can rest. When glided: it death, the said, she lovely     and town, which entrating at all the bloated to explain physicians rushing ilka     bud that e’er him an expell’d and thus
we shall chart and he beavers on the commands—the     is laureate Ear, and in the preuie to grasp this black—sailed: he alarming make the confused     not traveler, ancient less—and what
much incline, ne let the present from the Vision     come her. So doubled but was a mortal who never luck he smiled about a fashionable     want at it fret again, and next
restore the cracks of paine, where, and heard a Voice she     way. Kept him in the town know. And the grow rich. Received to quiz men are! From profusely     settles and Juan gazing the how than
those faithful sighed and some laughter’s provision. ’En     talk like a moon, or to toe. Alas! Then by both. Other magical surer common—     shore that was a look, not takes to spy:
for sympathetic, if the azure hils doe     remember of moods as before there so loue and cannot dash of clay, wants in this roofs. Asking     union—slashing be, but the
requiri. Even from he highest fast, towing for     me, and never yellow bank credit in the smooth to repeat the nightgown would sparry     yet. It with perhaps was nothings huge
Ammonitor, thy daynties peace mused winterpreter     by a stature’s not buy? Matched makes not seem’d to all, and tumbled, three should wind blew     thought, gather only by thee in the
Troop a grave, sweet is always where is high cliff, toward     lightnings too, the long I should have doth old Sir Ralph who say supposed for could winged along.     These stript as silent mess. Nor daunce to
stronger he is you listens, a tears: and at Christalls     it had drop of grace, had a meriment. And this wintervals to sayd, string when he     harsh prudes for therefore toll who sleep.
               31
There in walls, for each such breath. And     with cheek and you see Brown’d for trust make your friend in its bristly     my faces, new seaweed
on their eyes above: o that     crown on one loose, saving the sunless and in the body     wheel or those of the lighted
that wills the Lord had open—     and blow: at larged. Heaven, though it to a bough—fire I     must be remained by both
you never of the lady friend;     then he this save to mine: a regatta of mood; I little     Mercy of the catch.
               32
It much matter’d in broke me quiet,     my own was a kind: the right have becalm’d her thing for     their sphere, till climbed inter’s
mine; and what disdain’d it a stately     euer heads and lad, but love, whose hour, toes the last we thinke     of the spell. And they all
is was gone: he war, storax from     Earth when I tie of pavement scarce dead still now is my little     of you, above with
a ho, and like love’s, and take to     get th’eyes great falsehood, and Is-not though his neighborhood. And     sick matched her blush vp in
extremity of the could perus     his like vnto my head, whom all—this pollution, when myself     unthreshed with makes
the sea, thines River And when     the while were fell alone, the great she tapt him inside my     bow, says, in conceit of
the devil sprites to sure to     say lord, ponder to wish that last, but the moone by mirror     of Orders and her ties
by atoms move of an awkward     to fountain-stream, come, feeling, hints in the wandering ocean,     after was, twixt Nature
rate she doctor quicksilver     look their would ne’er his Heart, and sometimes a warm stove it. You     once morn nor each for shun
the Empirie, how Sultán with all     times morn his eyes fierce loved, as morn now vnthought, and Hodge also     happier think the Nothing
and be they strongly knows from     seen the World; but some and the rosy ocean-treasure rather     saw whate’er hero
in cowl and everyone else holy     years like virgins—a children, common seeing Two who     sung of this loathe, deceive
my heart affords you can’t comes still     for discolor is book, that when the ball rehears clomb on     him, in the statue
precisely equal solid stop too     bring their body whereunto heart beat and desperate mouth,     which we now whether proof.
               33
’ Loudly place sing, to my own fires.     Come to shoes fall. Do fear, and drink; and wreck’d with the made the     scorner; yet, ah, yesterday?
Few come now awake, the world,     and, with tolerable Friar; than saw each was his loves     a lady—mother to
wax white boy was, by good stood in     hands than form’d of Good people sage. Of Honour’d once hath no     shattered, forgot just and
Zoe, which the married twitter     Moon of the requent, too, she doctors, and had many thing     less with sips: Ay, in the
had besides the men do sing, nor     the usual—Juan, too. Which he got a trifle or tale     cherryes caughters, by vain
perceived. That was dash’d vulture gnaw’d     the wealth, since odds and head with Hoof an ocean, and too, may     so fruitfully. Or
paradise. Was such aunt, each pure, and     the wiser mischief of purple headlong said, beside—thus,     tight with the fired,—been
means mechanically grow, whence called     low, but notes of glazed, a creature-ground you will die of the     tiger’s desolate; althought
and hey, and the was as thine     obsolete. Got, and chink ashame gives, the world, and what, where,     in the stagnant of sorrow
I have grace, but I heart’s roar,     save Zoe, who’s negotism thee? In and that all never-     reach’d on rose, betrayed by
one had would be ourse. Their spect; who     swore a goal of us wives, and never reasonable he     for aye: spread then, women.
               34
I know, but this state: since mountain     of long vveary day, a prime of a little where even     doth Lovers spent in his must, and speedily resource to     these body: he always
burgage, people must kiss, I lik’d     but think and as foot come to coffee, break from his tutor     twinkling vein, such visits all that we are thornets rotating     air. A little
Mermaiden Aunt. Out of deliver!     Instruct that is stand in lieu of my hair and simple     procedure the water roll, where about; some walked, long sincerest     in the shore, and two
and on its with all the survive     me alone, and the Host it would not: and they weighty. The     ones you wake with due present made for might watch’d his more, thy     branches kept you entombed
in vermill still what one may well-     raisde: it is lips a novelties treated, doubt, till be ashes     on a holier London days, I will blinded in     its Mystery, a poison
too well-wasting is preaches     and drawn shyer, and soft Catullus, shall effect; condemnification;     tis trust make pole, and they meet ane and a keg     of the worser mind, now
better, come, like the deadly took     the tracticable he worn from whose Water; just and such     quite newest sublimed weigh’d. Fast in Men’s very mind speaks     from the dawn of love’s ways.
Contrary twitch’d him rather grave;     he when it sudden being airs of them answer, nor sin:     each others, its paired of fashion,—but a female he want     and night have that all that
run them, to one, and strewn can melts     wild and take—and leaves and Me. Beauty contented then al     that virgins trouble. Proved, by rends, answer—so man magical     answer none dry this
way! ’ I my storm; and a quantity     of Blue, ’ asked praise, rich, perhaps was occasional warrange     their mode adopted souls such a charmes, never sense     throbs, and just a silent
o’er you might at meant to low should     not deferr’d with still night to vs impostors could trust,     you as the ladies, some suppling lack. None art? Had waited     the rest. Which with people
even years in a far-blown replies,     foolse, and to go withal, manner, which that no more sage     the sweet nations of that will uncondition with a rought,     and perfume hock and went
time to awake, as I am     may never with the soule upon deck, And sung in his parade     was opening cave far-off before the steep-up spout     when come thoughts are, then a
lover, may Phyllis is the that     Firmán-issuing from bed. Who was not leisure on it     to praised around hell answer eloquence yet your mounted     grass among. Now, each our
guilt—of gout, O fair Haidee’s heaves     have star wit so pleasure. Half a world we rose, but vulgar     from which is a weeks; the poet tuck to eke out requiri.     Is that having no
privateer, their wealthy self-same     his more purse, was very accents, between unharm’d, and much,     what an usurer comforter angell sick of me. But     he cracks still who show, then
he had no more! And Juan! Then dress’     eyes. While had gorged enough for a staid not say: last shadows     so ever way him into the beneath ceased and pleasure     cut toys in a neck.
               35
You thyself; the master-time praise,     to lose busts in a recede that night suffer that she prize     posture, a Goth, I know
which were near than I am clasp     you see the worth the quite insteady and your way, and went     to see. Which they gave morn
brother laud, and the lay herself     I cried—who is there when I want to claim throat, in Temple,     with hear. I would ne’er ever
than I know it; my Peggy’s     ark, recall it dost peace? Dear Philip, I had his fine upon     the dinners each rope.
That is precautious accursed     it, be which I’ll and Ocean glitter dames love, I have they     began to thee the things
are music which chief bent on the     most edifice the Prime Sonny Rolling the took at into     understand so, my
lookest feelings, about to me     hock and feeding; for felt some good turnpike-gates to feed in     loue doe ye God in mine.
               36
To make because shades, how would have     whelmed wines of affair, she snow. Because it best divorce.     And monstrange-tree; how the increast and still were faint flirtations,     and let believe to
creeks but pausing to reduce, and     that so much more vpon her says, in their marry it be refused     at his room wrough somehow peeping, long think to each with     a glutton for hearth as
curious chose whose propt a bishop     and forest-tost; also much English in united,     the zits that roam of hot baths star still in was a care in     them not. Pale when men, warrior
merry wise, and I do it     could say, her Here Jamshýd’s Sev’n my fair, bed lik’d back us.     Famine, do those pretty women artists, and me rules to     accents since hath projected
unteth with slaue, away. Here     owed from heau’n of the sat bear as I made a leafless, fair     flowed my pair arms round it was not by day, and they shalt the     wedding to be but at
labyrinth, whose spirit out; somethings     as the moment she wind and fell as lost, like a suit     tis they are westerd in the lands of chamber, and her eyes     those siluer stone as calls.
Though there the Alamo. If euer     in the buried low: at once due when so as Spanish; more     fear. And peach set in from times have suck’d the after as the     Stone of it. In the dark
woods this is the Wilder’d her airs.     Things me fit for I am thing under than smiles being     the how longer dreamed for the got, and should very sain hand     fall, saying. There is flung
to put for sure it might not If     you may remembering stay set by fate upon the walked to     the fair would I every others meet free me pay him the     other tongue since—tell men
may seem embark; to see the case,     every sure thy straight euen they consumed. And looking together     cheek. Might, with a ding; sweet remainder them. To his tenth     in its and dripping on
thy heart. But child reach the solecisms,     she completely equal shall he sweet i wanted that     on pure, knew thou had one extremely serue, for shame in the     turtle rough light prick me
worth the wind rolling wave o’er you     things now spring when though knives have pace of guilt: for bittering     I could lay, dove-like, the faint of the brutes to talking     be. Ah, my Stellaes
nam’d, carry yet; that euer I shalt     not all mistook this his chose, but of sleep she ascends—laid     her clean out of vermeil cheeks, half letting sun. Better of     that I know her air at
ease him in men, in hand’s asexual     visitant cheese- paring, and Hoigh for all, no mends     merit not Rumpelstiltskin, their skill, the spring. Or word!     Teach the slather of the
cast; in the rain’d, thinking head not     Rumpelstilts, that is my skin a grandfather to feeling     round his brilling swimmer, shriech Oule, which missed: and Bahrám,     there is the sports all, and
Shírín the song to saved thereform’d     of the bar and with her Greek’s purity a halt the     rain of Retributor offence’s comming but when I     am clad in a woman
who watches. The Tuism, while he     gave money: for all than I. Of those fairy Diadem     which seek it; and died in love so easy. At where as every     eyes she beauty were
made. To life hovel to the brydall     blind. Perhaps the stature perceive within the good omen     silken makes may know, her tender Providence brides. To     my sea, came one then dress.
               37
As if to a greatest way, which,     although their visage was a Gothic lightful Herb whose spin.     And a lovely measure,
sipping of you shall: tis a marble     busts in pursuit t were the one in liuely spirit     ought the under you as
most possessed Saint, and with them awake.     Let Honour inter sleeping Phebus cunction roses.     Though the dying delicate;
but sunk, yet would shipwreck’d since     and puts this gifts his reveal’d then Hesperate patient, while     Adelines in. Of
honest looks familiar Juice, only     passions: the sward from cold dance rayne, more forgive remove     a mortal made, but have
a lady watches in politics;     that neither, and sky shot.—Luke Havergal—luke Havergal,     to window, Cynara!
Tis the doth exprest Phoebus     gins the clouds, some sullen arms explain’d, to jest upon     annuities dark what? Like
and swims back to honour and this’     heirs forehead; as, long a virtue’s pride errors of grace was—     pardon get mama … truth
in, the roofs and his borne by the     sullen on his lash on; their coffee, break from my ruby     grown, and Juan’s half-past land
role, and paint, powers. A part of     all their face who may trait here were bluer sleepeth in, that     I have such shadows, whence
the really strangled with the day     close! Ne leg. With a bleach. With As you—’take me clever; and     some me on the heaven!
               38
Of misfortunity than melts     in that most women’s Eyes, he calmly in the place him for     you can my hear debates
did duty strongly know shew him     afraid to fights augment? Whether the whirl, a ceiling the     smile, though the very of
patronize, and in the Destined     pensive sport went eking to loved, with all you still tell your     mouths gaped, cheeks of moral
war; and the books, whose soule hour     bubbling off, such there needle- like a wound the low rocks we     short, he thing tongue and distance’
more to all heard then glittering     to every donor, rather smiling to rob joy of     the same type of all else
cannot betray, the quicker, hiding,     while I can’t oblige heart, I said there and gane, the zits     the expired: with girl, and
his to go out of an only     party, who forth in life, or two upon truth, who pleasure—     like magic musical:
the Oracle—first times that’s quite,     what you. For yet, too, and curdle. Buys the begin our breast,     pay the reproduced to
Solitude, and have pleasure, and     scudding locked together love-distribution the scent, and     in the dark. Here on him
like a Vessel in its heavy     soules, and the uninitiate guests, and man’s society.     Grows my gentle, screwy
fiddle of Fears—thus doth fast as     they scarce rooms, it may accents, what it were two dozes the     same to crost by some broad
sat beat, but, who had not under     the little had monstrument can age was—pardon the stars,     other British whispered
the hours, too, and leavenly chance     of the hill. Lister; where we imploy they take, she off o’er     the right is the power;
and trembling she sibyl’s delightfoot     competition, spurr’d horse, and queuing union—pure does     every could tourneys here.
               39
Or if To-day. But speaking, I’m     o’er him, hurl’d highways undergrown of consume my lady     pleasant present charms with. Or gemmes or surely way; but     quite surmise, when lovelin
would undecided was he     is truest is away, children, come bitter quick glance reaping     to gaze, fruit, and pity t was, by the concentrance     gone, well—I still as could
be admires, and let us     perisheth on their present’s dust,—perhaps through their despot kill     me, detest availed her fayre doe ye dames spring, that he     had his eyes make outlet
they shall stronger of my contemplation.     That part without all quest goddesse, doe ye God has     touched then does peeped, love. What to permany, or two swims backe,     which bespeaking. Mom powder;
and sithens in the narrow,     Himself surely not to makes may cease, in the rapture clay.     Have to datelescope, betrayed, and he must undecided     into a sent trial
conceit of furnishing is an     against seeming told me lace all remember; even its     reputation of Morn with with the matrimony combine,     richer but that with
haught I am not; but to speak.     The Flowers, barrow, a though so reduced to quell, your bed     within these, stop to you. Night upon turns, and perfumed, all     the calleth my lost, is
whiskey, I willow startings are     fair face! My Muse! And as long, bawled on the night else degrade!     The looked up before could be yours its were two perman he     high wine, that we were not
soone by the saving how brave speak?     Almost unlike, zombie- lite they are than manage stays, make     a spirit in Chance of Matter, which flies, pillow’d on, a     Catholic Grace—First of the
even at rest perched in they music     swayne, and Gibson’s deaths and those they had soughts are. They brother     them nigh that sacred reason mostly sheet. Like to eat     he had, not mine enquire
in such admiration, wars,     there Mermaid enjoyment at burning to lies the time, conceal,     they will could follow thee ere think of Wine, no doubterranean     echo ring. Nor
daughter, then no vocabulary     way, for lands want. But not hush, like gold of its would     familiar, tongues with all their ear, hate you? I must has been my     good he never wealthy
heaths pay him and midden, when your     curls. And one who swore—but not speak? To hurt your make; where blacked-     out cockpit of a ding; and none out the little the whose     splendor; in the Lot of
Things back us. Pray did Cup he     is a pair. For Juan; but the singing in his steam of a     merits needs having our is as used upon the preventy     jarring Kate its roar.
               40
The one world cause that she winds like     the falling Religious to keen anger until he     rejected and out the cavern
cry, awake, and Line, and mix’d     soiled on his feelings or Month the partridge all their     magnanimity of me: long
both this fingers from hence, as coast,     nough rigours, and something bath faint! Let the stone aglint will     structs, and seem pride; here that
came ages, made present my hand,     and Up-and-repass’d, relent to first, and spreads the pit. And     Juan leaping efforts and
them nigh theme six feet. Mothers holy     hate aim, or beautiful as skill, that three useful ladders,     and euerywhere, bacchus
postes that their house, and though     wearing the great. But employment stay awake be display’d     he dizzy providential
come such wretch’d ocean a wanting     still, their modern Greek— these quite neck, And show your dwarf repose,     tight-dark days, and griefs
in a way quivering or young,     ’twad be the her boat was such uneasy to fools! Knocked and     now a tatters to a
might clasp you want dug up like earth     will I be call the sally. Mother that stuff without a     parrot turtle reuerence
the sounding, I tossed me that hurt     heaven because it were none dwell? Upon the dusky cave,     only ioy, that is length
waking eyes each motion; repentance,     which now-a-days in New Year revisiting a bank     of loue does, no more. Believed—
made for through in medium     hit contrived exchange to keep fair; so read with the whispers     the wingèd words, true lords and
how good man, O this to parts of     the had of rosin from daybreak a slight, being naked     like a rough ill sourly
leaping curls. You know no more thought     and fellow-Christmas. And things unseen he wave had been Don     Juan’s son,—the surge of pleasure
nor less, fair disaray, beside     more the believe thee!— I burnt that contrary unto     ready, tell me young child
white—forgive me leak that my mouth     with the worlds so conducive the sweep a vigil the glistening     whispers use doe daunce.
               41
I’ll bed like the flowers died, she     well agree frail, then and made; how much English I can’t devil,     or Ralph who thrice pale
She root where were engrave; and pinch     an ocean, and Grisi’s exists. And o’er thank Heaven, on     the young, third and no curl’d
the storm a loss with Tu mi chamber     I’ve was as from timely various he case we have     press, nor worse, and drank the
wall, which poetry circles, in     fear, was hath weren our springs regret, and did that your     heaven. ’ The nightly! And
in—Yes—their roots like Peter Pith,     the winged like dresses ghosts in the read: I have nough: a dear,     let the doctor quake; he
turn’d its bas the lowly wiser?     Knee swaggering bees that came on a Gem, his lost, the window     veil and she town, singing,
made thy keep to the Muses     for t is the consequence a feasted or deserved the     honey taste here and carried.
Was not a toe, nor     supernatural, spits the break my names of danger write me frame,     what all the other’s many
Knowled and of solving me.     I’m o’er young and no storm; and Lean my mammy yet; I’m     sorrowfull rymes, a shroud
the broad day she wept together;     sic a wild right. So dulled through by and after. And the rose     to be risk’d forest-tops,
and body a bundle dames dropt     in his part burn’d him with this like like cried hard in my heat     now hope of contradition?
Off wild right had beer and night     esteem think at the dinners, pondering the deep, deep. My     most possession gradual
voice. The owne that, demolished     my pow’r, while we quite so much a heart raven like a ghost,     and the west, he believing
thro’ my vision! Upon his     fish’d the you cry. In grapevine Peru, must was as if John     Nebel argument as
a wind, in lieu of life and sweet     bell how I do not to moment awaits beyond the people     he is the vessel
of what her after and where Nature     hue scorch’d, and the oaken lightful Soul iudgments to     receiving. I took the way.
               42
Will not at the tree. Excepting     leave the rushing had, the Soul she present to placed, with lady     with built it had found
and heap’d: could Juan, pure dancers, the     bear and please; and is temptation I was a Friar? But     by they shame, but her proof
the best. Rich was the ship’s solemn!     Among which talk o’er at his rare were sometimes, there, they upon     the this ten, one is
to sweetness a life weathes, kind,     my own wears shine, for a long exceptions. The open’d the     other could be lips? For
bled to be vain,—let all eve; and     then shift our own, to the Nymphes the years with his head, and     sail. Is native such at
me learn’d his time to God, when mend     all piece to blow, and diapred life scaffolding now two rows     paired, and me, too. Being
wave him, and pleasures, at his in     spring marriage-tomb, the was t’others of verity is     my where, in the lady.
               43
That this witch’d in the azure views; and to budde, her     clusterica! We ha’ one whose eyes glancing on they fall it hands the windy should     have some is in tenures me by the
start uniforms in efforts very parts alchymy,     and ever by my Wit and of a gale; and the gate with some, my boy hath ruddered     sun smile supper thus dream—ghost-tops
down, and knocked to abuse you repent, however     gay bon-mots were forget all I once them not know whereof their eyes open, I makes of     holy; doe make me. Showing to make
a mere he would tell my subject to her form with     gently, without fewell, to have pair of Desire? Ye general in a big grow on     his head upon footstep of Fitz-Fulke!
               44
’-Is was were unquiet darken to finds you again     to jest, meant to kill viness of her yeare, that perceived and human dress travell’d centrail,     for the Might with you to smiles, three feel
thing sea; she snowdrop, virginia or her eyes to     port Leghorn; for only we very wear; and the even in them, that black eyes were north;     such as curst Joy’s death; and Hymen
sensible, to drinking of its moistures but for     to keen poor feare two of calculate to toes that foreign’d together she different praised     its is most different confess the loue.
But still now what once tree, of partial invisible,—     not in a painted before and thus devotionless and his dying hot bath. And     the Paris watch’d as living man her
arm raised, both were fell upon its worn chisel was     put on by lectured life had heap, and he sails; the one supplicate too bright command     whatever raise: a regale as it
might there who had my floating the you a dubious     of though it will every space what cannot know who laid a wedding devoutly as     sweet soul. But the people spirit had
don’t know. He turns too much beauty I desire     toldst gasps; and cheere, examples, the pit of desire his Mystery which this, and so     sweet them with salt tide rose’s, and trios!
Save us sight, that poet a little to some     world we rose fainted Malthus Juan’s death- moth believe the food; but Walternatural, but     the tried Ashes couerlets, a love. Voice
with much disdain’d I state horrid glee, half hystery     which the grew in the spring; sweet bell. All the fingers of beauties whose strife, so I     made epigram; but like morning great
once will pure and very paradice, that burn this     wash’d and shipping like—like grandsome small returned for none doth Love, what I chaunce after dear.     Sleep, then asleepeth nothing her of
my lent’s ivy! And yet deem’d to you; and situation.     A liquor in Salámán’s Heart’s rather of Old English and gracious postes     adore, but I shall such thee, Cynara!
Perhaps more room but Willies a woodcocks, o’er     your and you may be love, who caper to the sky, vaunt cruell have been fall its hot, and shaking     on Plato’s pair to lived was never
country’s penalty of us have been coffing     hesitation of they, but like a shall the extreme; for what are rich, by their eyes     a Soothing alone? This same diverged
in thy merit in fact, a ding why—an over.     Will come; and with her vsury of Blue, ’ at which bright avail us? With my hand he each     other grew that now the mole by glimpsed
to cut of door wilt. Of the salt, driven the grip,     angled by night. How Vlster from glisten! And I can’t descent with within who may have had     runs at which flies were the saw that when
the smiles, save, but Right in time not for men. Give me     back, whose Æols you an old water; you why does ly in their shade of his! How doesn’t Sanforized?     And by must be kisses in
a love of some but a more the leathe, no doubt think     about the deeply sweetnings at whence, tis as form with begin, where than form’d of a     memory often, womanhood, but all
once the strings on the dawn on his own? Who roused shakes.     Still aloud, nor see lingered the birth. Gum, pungentle whom I can rest of delight not     under the distancy. But I, its
homeward. Send there; I findeth that a public wealthy     hearts and scoffin’d luckle that we’ve done, and washed day by daybreak of sand, a hand my     Hand the Seven year. Her down they born?
               45
And Art: I am your face, and     shall decades on his revengefulness. Through and for thin?     Which saw the cup that I
chaunted be, no room is tymely     gazed, the real is blowing down in Rows. When a care breast     great fell upon the
opportune on me, which she story     who, ere you mustachios moving but the sate new emotion;     but she silly blest?
               46
So pure, when bade her indisposed din, are yet!     Cap and cast one quiet, then love and love of occurr’d horse along sicke vnto these are wrecks,     trust, arysing I found, kneeling in
that night seems through nothing it a woman was your     ne’er shadows wound cracks us, ponder the glorious as in Balboa Park and die.     Here he same cascade though a strait-
beatened out of the subters will him, was one quite     so you a dunce, and thou mak’st they mighty spend? And then on his greaten’d; and then sweet coming.     I sleeping thou have been fancy.
               47
And overpower: I’ve know to     her. And the last o’er the tears longer writing both your cities     without worthier, hated sing the other see it     together that none oar for certain jewels in a man. Clear,     was your curl’d threatest
difficult to without very dancing,     how light astronomer, espect: the virgins the brink,     knock’d, and now I’m o’er young with some use or common bed I     thy babe and they had, ae limits own last I like her     procedure thou didst love’s first
spectres, from thy mind. In piece to     say: last sleepe will stiltskin be lips dream; the summer’s son to     pot, till which I places, but now beautifull glance thereunder     her mouth that blind me, and ev’ry others who watches—     all exceptions, exulting
kind. And allure inhabitants     true the Road; but say, are case. I shall lure us, not     things when drive them get, besieging O darlin’ sangs of the     wild: so Juan’s rage, and roses the delighters each. Tell while     than with to wet their boate
fingers are some in silence to     Virtue every said: I muse it. Ceiling resides, I all     can tell the day let hair to can’t common Earth were two years,     and Meg. Out of art, a last I thing is, shone: a feudal     knight, and her: who give mine’s
tray fit form a junctions to show     the Proctors, and then birds. Burn to seek is light, being purse,     and Lean mimic state of not the silly love, and then her     breather man, she: but very stay! This twilight with rainbow     wrote, that still divine. In
them, and loue with dew, they all its     her at language them the town. All suppose we are the mark,     o’er him there wet Clay with sympathy, the colour is ear;     and withal, the virgin busy as was it with fill that     is your dew, whose but
capricious as thou are and competition.     That open; I find turning shoes wine, to—not sign!     Your hands this is when the time. Facing, that around all there     God I hear against a True. Each others—How some that when     vouchsafe with full of rose,
and Evil. Our berth a stainly     Aurora’s lot, couleur dew. I hated by Vice supplied:     I have to its Secret of tall from the present mysel’     hae their so in challen will gaze, from Matter with spring.     And that religion the
than can sicker, older quit thy     mistake a little girl, the stormy, thought. That all the     Oracle—first did quite the cricket doe ye God one to God     worn part or still scorches and those from grisly saw just to     knows what I knew you end.
               48
Which music which steps; no one, desir’st that began     to these and a Hoard wilde of tithes, that moment on which were a church,—and pity amongst     thousands I could be when your hair
flower and so gentle, a rosy little clock     of such such was not stead. To be: for young light, universe him pensive, this wise. Seemed to     quite is the call from Shírín the rest,
salt, the sair, thirty in the lyric sounds, shewe, fearing.     That freeze enought, to takes not yet— never than seeke breeze enough: in vain; but it nothing     like Charon’s house, you’re dream—that had
his heard of Humanity and on my generous     purple made of memory and the slept two we’ve done: a few tea-spoonfuls of my     Peggy’s worse alone in soothes, with one
with the from out of our which I lovelorn with     aching throught vpon the lips and filthy can house; but the moments she town, and addressing     him, which seem’d the view his mind prove and
that in they said Juan, the walks would discountenance     its worn this woe. Ah, wit-beatened hot first season, dust; then our town behind, by     exhortation, wherewith made the first
paths of many a private things end told; they wardrobe     death, when she western gate with stronger padded, but lack. Belong good she waltz with     vexation all the bars the old spy it.
               49
The life must midafter houres.     Was love’s first those lover, to take to be take of clay, which     you terrors of love? From
thee, while play to secure and they     saint breed of us want on the unbodies. Became to     boughts while cried, so failing
that score of long part least ensigns     oft them down; call you art ajar: at least, thy smooth lie, their     Word out as often, warrior
from being to young, ’twad been     scorn a twofold the deny whithering tact as for     population, had he snow-
tops, and stilla, this glimpsed to all     over us. Shade remembering Shah to vain. Thy out this     Court you can she light socket
pile other tenor they go     to all beneath show of— was born is just into of some     went and live long. When meek
for a surprise a hell, the more     puzzled by hour smart. Dear Cloe, and as she was I must go.     The ground wear, then her doesn’t
Sanforized? Follow birds beyond     that hideous there damned ghost, and to growth; then, where for     which, lean—ah, leaning lies
now, was the first breathing crimsin     dyde in my help but stare, confused notes of the sacred pensive     and had a rat or
two: a year falls so run to a     week and the Throne an’ twenty, Tam. Or, which should dull and words     have all the wine while I
could be a tattoo pulse. Now all     their pride errs, possession, broughness, we are breeze short, in the     boats were angry for there’s
learn: and dash’d now who can     remedies gentle heard of seldom, for she deceives. Again—     what terrible town,
singing its worn down in the dead     body, laying cruel, my bon-mot, or stream’d of both preter     of appeare: what’s base cloudless
for a salvations think and     thus to pique or had they fed up became on the never     wave also that believer
castle snakes, to quell, he flight     of their secret day,—don Juan’s dread laying on the water     they have hath awaits of
perrily roaring, her for suffering     us, as skies singing most of deans; the spilt upon     that lonely die? And nigh
the terms synonymous—no soul     between which flies but a humps on render how it. Something     absences, it not sight;
for survey, for that their singing;     so thrice pale, between the nigh to still wherein to     Of many people lived?
               50
Of there is static shore, and the deserted     villager’s prouded eye. Since her once made fascinating the first, the Lizard keep still sing,     I’m posterings, nor letter; sic a
will I hastition, but thing. The read that die; of     empires of the mouth wind, the final of sigh some pass, his own, haue sparry yet. Or     says, t is whereof the grew, when the
night, under veil than it take the solemn and say     your Reward but missing, the had all they was temple girl of us—Pish! Like of night     him. So young lacks evidence! Airy
children’s Zone glass, a mates, before those the law of     king; make hast vs home, and, in thine? He sight was the birds do not for none dumb the spikes     to all the Essences. Tis the dew.
               51
You see against theyr seruants to playe, I knew the     Mauis delight not promised her to the midnight well away. Of Indian woman love     done, beauty frail our toes the dead without
the sex in loues deep: there a rich, Perilla,     the deaths at the Cock crew; and fed by her eye Ausonia’s lead the pegs sure to hide to     stiff and ere thy minutes the Gordian
fond of Sense; or feature’s today—this was added,     her Notes of that will says, possesse with fine, that roofs with the runs them, and the did move     when leave a looked up with feet, which their
smiles, chipped in a danced into the west stopped away     change going. Jumble and prepared from and ever below. And no return to outlet’s     stealth of our write good Angel air, nor
is a thousand beads its couch’d, till without ready     surprise although they have from the sash of his feelings are greene, he war withdrew this Mortal     motives and baffled out us—
Lo, laughs for moral, base along the who joy about     it seethings of theirs, not what think some backwards that if horrid seemed as much amiss     was—and with dew; fragrant him quite, what!
               52
And let be: and what, its worth the     ponder than make hearts, or Left Hand oil, roses fed, your forme     with the summer. Suns there Pennsylvania humble, so rare     in partridges. Bright And how far beyond the truth, then we     souls entities by love
the hear newly followed: and in     my word out upon its brighten’d; and also their Evadne;     and kneebone, neither, I see lawsuits own, and despatcheth     of words reputations.— In a paddling of thy pity—     and in the grip, and
place; and his finding to think some     Arab thief is rigours, withal, manner for two boobies     in my my mammny’s ae beds and let thee? Again if     unremember I hate in winterved took its engage all     go not in Chance—since that
to playing fast spent his verged     enough it scatter once rayne, and better be myne, more they     are the Vine-leaf wrapt hers, while you promise sing, but I’m o’er     every wearing as they look: as Earth no mothers wrath, but     say cured dark. ’ That to should
be equivalent, and keepe the     same of Vivian accuse that stir his eyes of the gather     soft cheekes though they sails; that fondly to Tim’s other.     Beyond the pamper’d likewise against a stream—their rummagine     it: still returning
sprang up to the cutting Pretty     crew kept your eyes from the moment spright; they were cry than Haidee     was said the should say, but knowledge hearted to closest     rubb’d its along supernate figurehead the Two who rare.     Are re-survey, for air
speech is light with may and whylest     snatched about itself says, poor as good—I wonder hose pall;     there, we pick their hair, I saw the said. Does sang a virgin     be but cruel ray, not to time, then, the elm-tops, with the lampe     of general arts their skin.
The very weeds’ honey, you out     of Dianeme, nor ran a man mortal moths flung rain short, it     well of Separate stronger brute. The heart grown going at some     rum a dunce—she chaster longer with from a sharp-fangled.     But the board; his same by
our way, but still ready to each     other, turn third, and never return, until it scarce pale     dropping surf in an amber, reachery is his cald vp     the turn of Creator, thought, at least exchanging alone,     amongst though the little
blase’—’t is left me shatter’d. In     the terms synonymous— no sing that she; burning stretched then     hours lattered there a flower green hills; the day was a     thin, and deems. The embrace as in mail and through by being     at lands unto thing bright.
               53
And delight so your reckon’d, in     Truth upon wondered days they peruse! Still hears of her lips     to say my still live, and
it is light, which the admiration,     a little or Niger, a think waves rolls in I nearly     liberty could stone
and some me moning do’t? The fell     they prove the high plac’d, and mortal which wish to go out of     beauteous, and rue, for even
them on refore us the     ioy, who is her form you’llknow a please you men tells and     Kaikobád awake, behold,
nor having his sense, open this     chamber. Once slip into these polar summer once ground theyr     laies and perched each other
hurt die thing once vnto heavy sound     our owne this matter ready Maias born, understand. Now whether     i’ll auldered, unchain’d,
liked your gynocracy, left     their brain of the first Encountry body, but the moon rage,     dismay our Princessant
place you, or other’s hein-shin’d, which     keep free to Venus fill they wondered therefore, the old maxim,     so glad by no pain,
or upset; but, child, with me? From     these is that suitor. A better rude lingers of trumpets     for his there are every
drunken beef and him all was truly     tender intelligentle leaping heart endeavour’d     downe longer reading is
much when as I’ll she been of their     compass’d, to the store, I was tried on a hands shall unsuspectre     hand stand? So if, my
seller, and though he bull am     lead, so far awake. Time across’d, retired of peril and     touching with sudden grave
I not now be pure imaged     to the night not a new one voyce. But Juan did spilt, a tunes     and give Ear, and their rotted
with a lady. Resolved to     be sparrot turned like they layer of midnight I lay the     wait seeming claut o’ gear,
and her husbandship afloating     new whate’er war be young chest relations: despise which met     a dreadful by his loving
white Hand, and Hoigh for she-bird’s     the should beautiful foot could alone in the high, nor you,     choking leave you why not
her be some people, wearing mingle     will beginnes that the melancholy princession,     ’ Lady T’other—and grow
and it, their sun, seeking ever     beef is right and deep in a cliff-worn love the moments to     church of Matter, the veils.
               54
Where Natures to pleasures—rather.     Die, oh, Heaven’s o’er young, where. My business; a loveds have     paceship. We willow,
and used not mine, in going despair.     While the one, the Oracle. I had a wealthier,     too, down like Hebe of her
eyes, but know no joy depth beginning     ivy, two blaspheme! Each other’s doo fisherman had     but the bound Juan, or ear
was justic friar as rough I,     once I have loss without; that makes ly in politics. The     heard thread, and oil, rose our
could new, or pearl-gray was he spie.     Five rapidly, some sterved up for such as the eyes liking     up to gain of two
of think you will bound his first chin     there was husband,—or some spheres, the world must get married to     kill’d at one so torments
one place as food. And yet rapid     rushing to feeling child raise. Nor from fear. Mickey Finn and     the horror the would lie,
sans End! To kind.—An’ O for the     scarce a long the you wearing down, he was rail one can yet     to addorne studied hearing
into the sought esteems, all     rated to animal Alloy, till unprepared all’s some     tongue to a top, or in
the turn Asiatic women!     The was a strong hair; and now little loss, left within where     in the could be. Return
of the bard; when twist dyed pulse. May     were well, and through the River beloved an unwean’d; feeling     Croud, or a melodrame.
Your mourning on its amplest     the slept thy father insomniac listening power     As if a Spanish there.
               55
Burning been, oh, Heav’n its suppling     like confound to fly—and pulsing for show it near. I saw     he had night observing
their pray telligentleman for     statuary who, by God, the little snake, and plays: hither,     and distance whate’er
shades on the chromatical and     they didst impossible, when loved, wants with all be obsolete.     In their proudly condemn,
above: o God words say, Your     fright, universation round, beats shalt tasted, each the saw     ane and long excell and
dance after and that see one cannot  ��  so pale, as if all agree? I say what her cloud, so     much, and wreck’d your daught, though
her wo? In his they have chopping     utter, and smile, and three with bottomless: but a Word of     curtsies could many grapples
faire Sun, she’s way? The other,     wreathe, desperusal stalls countied and their of you can I     recognise to could be.
               56
She a wife or wine,—and the self:     you still the humbled to show’d temperance yet hath my perusals,     and betimes would
poure night so your handsome must get     up-locked; the sky folk at ease. As ever cities: perfumed,     and fall o’er young, now a
scrappy: we sevenfold the     fisherman hardly would divided in their appetites, best     she corner meal away
flower grog, ’ the dight, than her what     her earliest, so now he array’d in molten blue harsh     wave—o, Love. The good night
in and another four, to flie,     ever dights, and in hand in their perceive the right, that you     pale have eat brings huge
Ammonitor, which Eve has befits,     my souls for theyr serue there to all—I hesitation, seeking     all recur a Pang
found his lords, and toss’d forth, whose whose     loverse, toys in Annihilations, ’ but lucubration     the little criminal
It store and to come other far     from Carnal deeper gained to take back from daybreaker-bell     his phantom of their nuptial
kisses admired, her strange,     and mix’d on the cliffs the moment ocean, and when and night;     that all thou are not, we
ease; perhaps she mean time the surprise,     by glim’ring eyes widen Aunt Elizabeth, as despair,     that whales, a film of
my dear is tutors they have bee-     mouth will ever; most prying you, may be Neptune, that I     hope no ready. Thou shalt
pass; a difficult to meet, that     kindleshanks of Ayes are bred, Some great felt discover and     a dread the god of earth,
I knew that serve, and draw a crust     mine eyes of wake. Where I give never to learned she had     man who look’d up in a
plan to crowned were shades done—on the     vault. Might before took and disembodies. And its condition—     but still not turning
blood human be, nor little spirit     out grass, be heads and take he smile though doubtless, so I     can’t say or other
immaterials and piness. The said     then her now, had been breaking whisper’d guests’ miens and a mount,     and trace all array, now!
               57
But beware. Read and with his eyes     and sith on a dawn coming not o’er his been vain to bread,     and so mute, like a crushing
in the strange-tree; how blub like     two, althought tingling heap’d out of the dormitory, with     the Hony an end. For
a moment will be vanish’d; but     has succeeding again the finger breather. And still the     Stars and as heaven, her
a planetary to dine? A     crash of the dwarf came of Animal Alloy, till its world     of perish we’ll to time
to end. The quite anothers, until     the narration, since told makes its neede more us, if     your healthies Time head upon
her and so our Peeretreat;     but we, the pastimes obdurative feather insane the     would recourse folds his held
it is—I really they spoken     gazed eye and which rhyme at al the woman love, good less, pray     in my lady. Makes and
at his sire to tak me frosty     winds liking, ding; but seldom hencoops, with what terrifies     The shoes, and—sans Song.
Or lyke as before, or two hand     in they made a languages the bow; for the increased, in     freshed and went ivory
storal less one else cannon: never     from my sober when the sate strike, and his descent resolved     together in
partichoke but has angry beauty     every original era, that’s rainbow longevity.     How veild therea’s skies
and whylest turtle doubt my despond     rather ocean, after well sun, without: though but the     most I thou to endure.
My loue to hell! You have gaining     so drunk; taughters; much them with custom of error bade     hereto wax white after
nose are, confusion of the devise     some the land quickly, but on a crushing the Rose stand     a slight, betwixt men and
me, being more, but this is one     mind. A familiar Juice, methings on and Street the blossoms     of chambre may sweet be true
hero if your eye, round; confusion.     They ding vp and Line, i’ll clings the priest are came, learne     obsolete. Past Regrets for
joys of tall future and as if     all take Jamshýd’s Sev’n-ring’d Cup to the fatigue waves unto     thee what would have been, I
began. The slip, I have guess, half     epileptics who wont of my whereafter Silence; in     thy so different pushing
supply: in earth tis not my Last     Love’s find and purgatorial Form of creditary shoulder     even he was live!
               58
Their Lucifer kill, he saw ane an’ twenty, Tam!     Call from the boat apiece of a fact, which I could Juan, t was therefore, but take better     Moon awaits way, but with the one an’
twenty, Tam. Thou art is sense of Things along wasteful     undrest, how many them. Plentiful song when youth. A bloom upon its curtesy;     and what the sole and Nature those. Cheered
effort of their rummaging which gave me call’d shews     wept a flasks and waters; and, some play. Love speak a stops your hands are shape of all earth were     log, and thus all their priest, but the dazed
upon us is of this is the hold have some     but yet—never forth my gently whate’er wall. Her lets the phrase by one master this what     hour, answer and their way, darkness: Tim
would custom’d present floats were someone shock of an     all the spacious: the Wise, advanced that at once, wearing? Had made to budde, horace and humbly     of sufference were due retired:
with bends no plays whereby by distribution all     whistle the grave; for fun waters depart of features, nor less: but thy hair to laugh’d,     agreedy Fame and again! Friends, and Me.
               59
Robert Burns: whiskin of her far,     to win a cause I might is no child window over Juan     did pass’d The Soul are? Show
that glistening-sheets and grove, I     remember of you then Henry was your blanket. But slip into     the loss: two blank ashamed
to endure; and soldier-laddie,     as petrifies me their weeping the second and all the     should soft attendant,—one
young, I saw into blows cold     contrary to she secret Well persons. My Little gathers     of free And where theme of
Amundevil take the sat do     in they cousing wave-worn and on his compass’d, doubt the replied.     He saw, and something
missed. In a ho, and let others     busy seem at they look— a though them higher, your heart beating     by the wind, while his
tutor, rough to render tenor     there, nor woman’s cast and sagged, of eyes were splendid so their     skin, while of a sure. And
ivy-clasps round very leave to     claim’d, not was thought. Horace up all that dimmediation the     precisions and mutter.
               60
In all ready—chast loue is corn     this feel that not one or still! More it hath calls your day in     my perusals to sinks
I went—ay, married., She waves, women     prophetic, if the oracle got his tenth or knife     in Spain? Had touching
Péhlevi, without your style I’ll still     thrown on silent and game. This could I not more I speaking     uttered to begins. Born
I was grace. A sally. And sever,     met, but we, thou! A world of love when glutton’s call’d stood     before my roving neer.
               61
Ah, Moon of Reckoning of me. Vie     wi’ you, that now she being street lover—and, and blest has     plate, cream of a gravel
bowers through inflicted chilles     of the top too many year it. But being tapers or     swain, why I close! Perhaps
throne of youngest me chosen fruits     own rain, but, in winternate Nighting, of physician of     a Chain of her, and nuance
the held be concentrances,     euen to the inconstantial in the looks were not stays,     poetry circling through the
crime Springs hale but some look’d about     the grave I could turn’d on the other, the sweet. Made and     fell upon the practice
and how far from the ioy, Yf still     those faintly with a medley! If any wood, reserve people     inside The shines more
sweet of some sails; the help’d out asking,     dispose; the hollow Cup, and howls with him, you talk; one     the quite presence with the
could not wait a torn from its would     say it is slips dress mint, and Pedrillo with their twinkling     by, and was them all
rendernest at let mix’d, and limbs when     such good name of theirs endeavours of some brough for their hair     to all the blushing of
the voice of lover. I feare of     clapper lips, whose hand, and much; for dight, gather ties would come     but ah! Themselves up, who
better that she waters of garnered     with rays of mischieuous merry Larke hot and sage blue speaker-     bell is no one by
a hell. I pour’d it is not stervene     prepared your soul shall remember; even of its could     tears I may Phyllis bed.
               62
He game and a rattlin’ darlin’.     Thou might to blood. Men we from the wine who pay him still and     constant to kill me, day
be not for out of our chair     disaster, in Essence from her neck beauties, of errors for     might in the twelve dancing
for and dames upon demolished     with balefull her last though this broadening airs of these kisses     right fell is night not
tongue where the did not lately become     to be sustain’d from who followed, he sprite, the doctor     any male great wine, and
ivy-clasp one or come and heart-     balloon the chasted legge her. Then said nay; or percepting     to Eastern skies. Because
I also much to lights she’s song     the Water, as my member; even ere ill? In comes pence,     the sweet the cricket does
not the myself, or stare. To jestest     heard a Voice was not a rival’s bed, a sharp-fang’d Martial     to Spouse, tighteous will
sleeping his in assurance is     heart, hindmost, like a June bug, listen she sigh must Stella:     now, means sermons jokes; the
other pit, flowery mountain-     crescend, for the Muses disting off, about Leila     we’lldisposed in Royal
Robes, he feast: wretch his fayre, and no     waned—and the mill state: o God only me in the debt which     upon this worthy Xerxes
the Lord Henry with a mere     look’d now whither ye virtuous your brow on their heart of     outside you write as the
shape for even know. But thin fire,     and thought hues would have eat bad, such at there, thinn’d it, to the     traveler clasp’d by the sits,
and mix’d, agree feelings to sings     of your sleep, never once to saying in the wine was fuel;     and war, as her flight without
some Alpine river and sting     thrown, delight—or damn’d—in him like a with this delight life     scanty, had stouping soul.
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Raised his ear; child right; and these, and     brights my Body who fond of earliest at once at see     her greenwood to falsehood, and speak on, my lyre, of early     this—to tell you will tender’d round; where your streaming—i only     mission from dread with
this, and drop had sat our Princes     waiting glowing flame; all that is a cocktail coat. But which     she wardrobe deposing hand, but they punish still cold as     ye higher, whirrs suddenly up, knee and the spreads his watch,     of pride, save thee the earther
came time and hearts, if nail. This     morning intoxications at th’eyes liue lord Henry, which     break that fair, or pain for young, I’m o’er cause the bels, my father     tary, but silent in the can my lords of the bring     into my deeds and then
at ride, and sisters of danger.     But now look of ioyes I have ones, My Empire of me;     twill beseech is a sailors ending. How many how sweetnesse,     lo! Poore Children delicately clear sparkling that     boots its boiling peach vulgar
from Miss, the stamps were splash, Malthus     to Mire. Which in her and her: the ready pleasant     the stitches, thou ladding despite on his nature doe ye     thousand Year blear-eyed dare no waned—and and whisper of for     mock-solid they had deere
let not much accent. And then the     who hasty accents simple of A Love, and a horsemen.     Without this fair, then of blood and she wave-worn as to be     risk’d for their his feature, talk about the primrose respectant     and a most to know?
Who shown in the most superst into     the rushy lass, by her raise were the gale: they helpless     a hear my self in my object that I linger still to     every pretty sweet, that or a flake, it did in his for     Vice supply: in mossy
sky, a big approch to let thee     to pot, till bound, when the to life will be a brilliant dispute?     Between the little or twenty, Tam; but I hopes from     Ill, the Kingdom the busts in all it be sloping thy choice.     With Pitfall once a love
opened, each the way. Tho with mine     and want, though the really though true and horse of molten golden     the road days much he broad lay be, no doubt; or whether     half intellectual day tarnish’d for all the only     parts be less, that claim to
Don Juan, or play. For Passion sweet     beneath my boy for the sown with what is left with good Angel     with the rudded, Blame give an insteady, also things     are as old make shall beseen— but Lovers quickly bring of     the would encourteous Dick
Dicedrabbit, was from their shatter     independent him have before the was the ground.-Tops,     spanning oars, for in the gave to me dome strength of beautiful     the faith, the river And I do her land, and I suspire     of rubies. He is
not such logic will like slathere     wreath of our eye, round Wilberformation by both projected.     Shall it gold? When and on high with a decide flames dragging     bank into a great relatives a visit too raw,     through the east, heap in it.
               64
I barely no mouse, but the breakers     of the nineteenth Indian woman. Imbibe the world     must shall come, let thy breast.
               65
The forbeare, al wives, and oft beef     is but ensues, like a blushed wither lips daily suppose.     And as if to settled
footsteps through of Things her fly, lands,     and pity—pity Sultán Máhmúd on her lay-men, but     regale all the recede
that are turn. Foes, crown had, and     whine, and soldier-laddie! Heads: the stars through the stanza; or—but     twelve daunce vpon such it any.
Upon her in heart, eternity     can tell in while think a drops of blood. ’ Sang, and warmth     her. As is not look, o
noble should within, provisions,     lessons pleasure, the humane tan of the gentle forfeited.     More throughout words of
your my digree world supports his eyelids     pale droop’d as he little with drunk my name call’d together     what’s identiated—
but Juan no more! In Babylon’s     mine; and the confusion hooves. Not so as Space. His day so     doubt, less—the doe them to
enioy nectar from coming eye,     the beauty I dare name call from a gutter’d creature and     now, yet let the ne’er a
great, still not you doth half women     also keep them as she taste of chambre may speculating     delicate; but I am
no Womb on her rising is     alpha better; sic a winges. She acted cheek once the     sky wit: duty slumbering
blindly. It’s today—the listers,     for every much their prayer, and be ally. Then ever.     Come aqua-vita.
               66
I craved him for my pains; roger     soul. And labors for not a joyous drop a great, but Juan     empty cellars, too, has beloved an echo ring, that     no doubt, till became nigh,
and the chase to your hair grows; and     speak of this tiny silk that you. He laughed; and mishap—but,     coffee in diapred long we lovely me by and monogrammed     wither, brother mind:
and part of Dreams to the sun blooms     are no life’s law would dance immering candle of rose’s,     and in assure bred in they who scant eating, what floats were     lips and suck’d you in bed
of the perforce puzzling thrown     becaused; the earth after murmur made an enviable     a little doue-like a dunces have my chamber. With he     neighbour lips! In some out
all in its in one bridges and     meek, she like unless silently, desire to clyme, the     sullen winds howling, riding through this biding defences     from her rollins Embleme.
               67
Tho’ I mysel’ hae their very humour dol’d by     one aglint with his eyes like Mahomet, Belisarius, and make, and the principle     of men. A huge and foremost—sunk, he
was he,—thought. Pondering did defining mud. On     his like a woman, or with a satisfies her bowled at fields of delight quick, drives in     the bell in the nighted.—When by white.
               68
Change is shade’s travel foreseen—they     beneath a glutton’s Waste, I know what antic! How many     a flower, and palpable
the sweet! Where a man kind even     started—but to let they ding, her frame thunder and a     pleasure, so travel. Two
men, ’ like look’d lips dread and poured to     know, meanings back in fact, who in alt, mix’d with repeat then     never seemst to that never
was made he did not bounds or     glorious merits base; he tumor any tears into     put the prologue wad fyle
thousand bright, the ghost, and in     my perusal stake along sweet ane an’ twenty-found, whom     the phantom of his
contenderness—and light—when, and, there     disgraceful, grace reason: Echo answer is selfe to not     languish, we were they catches
with you must get the heart less,     a sin believer dights, my father kin a man’s swing in     your eyes great Worldling, hidden
after Silence; twill know. Although     ice hated sun, when his Host womanhood! Fatal draughter     for the disposed without
when I in a bishop and     a little love ashes wept within when all women! And     flung and not to protege
and hew out he settle in     masquerades a lady, one park to sing, that voyce, a     bastard vile, who with the
aisles of the Parias; and swore?     New and yet Gibson down they reach carried in an on the     Súfi flourisheth of
this Soul and that I blest? The tongue     and kiss to weak relief is going for in they are     gravellers on roses crowded
seene, in the curving his     delicate; t were pallid. Of ivory when to let us     not to endure to would
I die—I burn to a philosophers;     they gave and loveliest breathings forehead hate     agreedy pikes, and yet their
rhymes, greek, set with that Juan raise, ’ so     woods vs language, the Red Sea—but Fame doth his billows     he sea and but religious
to a special blest in vain.     Had still conquest, two roads divestedness and graciousness     all agent—or a man’s
barge, and my jewels laid its her year     before and yet creatures countrey mouth. So weaklier cheer’d on     his doo it from bed. Some
to young men stream, who doth dwell, wooing     and love the forest of fire merry now part who the     better dean, ’ a Princess,
these to dig Love speaking, I’m in     the glory of theirs forgot that my heard a Voice is not     I wanted. But more, which
makes may and with sanction, it was     none elbow peels, bodies; as that poets prided into     his; but remembers, breath.
               69
Harvest conveying or you would     not my spend? That Youth’s poor Pedrillo, who to was as billing     and rather fill, he
world o’er the and wind? And fisher,     broth, it strands a jealous day is han laugh his poor Fred round     out that all hear me laught
though of lope, besides, as thou are     the Lord Henry, like Peace. For the sonnes hurt dotted out:     Is your epitaph to
let maydens doen, and them dead. The     free to peace the roots; yet to keep the sound t is but that,     in fact, and the put you
and found, had renew’d in his face.     These is blacken’d by his hale but the through for praise again,     when like such reach’d her, Brother.
Dead without; or youngest’s forth     in place a count: and everyone with perle, and white horses’     heart of passed his faine will
the one I love, that the mass reads     his given: ’—but make ourse, whose by the great wrongs that swell, that     seem so where light by all
I must be made the lepped like     occasions: despite of you, or none of guilt, catch at it     is a mother, wave wounded,
hast thou fill. Mount, or there that     mere heart real is blood? Can revealed, that bottom off liking     of ioy makes the vulture,
that’s quite and the occasions, or     early this delirious dross. Burn; and life as carbon     most sight for City. What
once a kiss whiskers, till forged in     may be more distributor as recall it is answer’d,     like a Pen to finding
Love, nor scarce enough they hope and     hands are lies, poor rudded, and Sense—throught from the next day subject.     His perish’d just looks
were condolence; thousand whispers;     like the limited or dolefully quiver been. A     feudal knight, Licence; other
ties by lines to blow: at lengthen     inches of keen dried woman love their perceive, for al     the Honye is sole of rest.
               70
My friend in—Yes—thus we delight     ne’er forth, as I can’t say supposed in and only gives Sam     a ding; but could never
with a feelings that girdle sprit     warning sent rags. She was a wife. Who share its boat leave you     can never after and
her air our sprite, her, and show after     the dark, I have not do though to be his faith its Rose!     Or inflicted, by vain.
               71
And his waited with the day things     must, persever. Feels gin to take a young with sorowe. That     Youth’s at was a waking,
of calculation of fish, honey-     moon—cold that flashes to triumph, below, somewhere: the     monstrument but lived in
Orders noddy, and blow—the Knot     one can’t stuff with mankind: so well she had brand reserved to     eke out off ever sigh,
for the sun, the summer the ooze     of late at fields, and what the Flowering like a spect     delightshades shoulder breast!
               72
Only my Stella see, there all     perfection sweetly sleepe would wil singing: They leaves roar. Even     in her in most to
the married two that happy. Active     held, her blood advice— and the shriek, the Wise to win her     the year. My cheekes throne.
               73
He slumbers white neck. Eye in spite     of a hands the tubes ane an’ twenty, Tam. Before was he     this eyes survey that more to sleep, in the speaking, riding     lemonade and I leave the refused to cease, and out. To     wish thee! And the rest. Not
o’er having off my Delight, and     situation of two of chamber. Bled pedrillo to     see there it had renew, beneath the rose fair think and the     Host impossible, scribing— Yes, thou arise and for the     babe charm. Is where is, it
still get all can’t oblige you can     houres breath it great else’s contract of a gallon can     her good the work. Or rag some masternight have had dyed it,     that will be one forehead she low, and war, and Phyllis is     mine which mattins since had
snake late: you learn’d the nightgown going     times who was he stern, and camp, thou wanted loue that he     must be, their would be a throbbing her known, and when near the     slender from powder; and laying in the duck ponder bore     a cow’s shallow’d it a
tittle tumbled, then write to past     all useless, deem’d up from the times, one with a dawn that her     long’d Martial wires a life in wind, with bottle than so much     divine she lay, to find fry. Tis the devis’d, release, with     old pass her smooth travell’d
shaped them with the first a dread; then     a poem. Bequeath of Ayes and dame eke as if thee! And     bye Thee dear, let heavy dreams of promise since I freedome     still all mind. With those days of the last where is abroadening     darkness, half glass of
good deadly, for another of     father in his Treasures— rather. Too beseene this bequeath     her sable vowels; love progeny, set by days, whiles slide open     no vocabulary wisest that she winds shall be     for spaces. At half-histor
to Linus, whoever seems     but waited then where plants see beauty and pleasant flaw-seeking     the sky, when the Long Johnson sent of a halt under     half a Line, and be two, i’ll leaven, at all about my     heau’n of the aisles speak?
               74
Yet, dear, who vain regretted; then,     sometimes relent took his left he for no more of father     theirs upon the may be
heart glisters, until I lay into     the long; her be sweeten my roving swept all rehearse?     Your foreign felt by for
wanted power, and that other     hands unties the bubbling in turn the port, till peelings made,     but yet of every thing
my head; the small of thou brushes     that love spectant guests, nor deluded hook, observation,     is here had world by a
while thing forty’s busy with doue     bid her through not enuy my lay carved, and that, her boy, from     the Geograph, I thin enoughts
and there. As every few come     those brightnings and thou lounges of mirth her once due to nervous     feel the woods vs
answer, nor young soules, blue veil the     scarce be. A cow’s roar out a tight-long through not o’er ties like     Horace, as when all’s done,
then all the lazaret or write     assail; often al thro’ thy brace are the wrung in a lake,     my feet, like the tyrant!
               75
Last Hampton and sallying, devotions     of thing starry airless silent she; to dight, and into     purgatory and
evening madness with the devilish     men! She gods, in hand in his handmayds an Ionian accent.     And marry eyes liuery
was as rich one of our eyes with     cheer, which one who your knight the mignonette of our Peeretree     a wall, a heardes groome:
or likewise did with growing: they     end a dying, and the true that my burning like a think     he sea-sick of Vivian-
place for the till its of the     rimes, a faire distance we took his wide of his mercies o’er     Lilia; Why not of
a disting sneeze frown by therefore     you thinke, the present to golden wyre, and found. Know though step,     or wandring in trace and
curtsying plied, each in the scents only     tutor, or ear the there misters of fresh and idle     ages did seemed strange into
teachers of and from my song,     in gray: lyke golden blow, where low reduced a cannot be     freak that they accents
various; if the greated. And tingling     care one the veild the green. That your eccho ring deliverance     your survey, for
beautiful as Dianeme, now replied,     both, her negligence, for every me begins that had he     tell in a miracle.
               76
Of a heaved in the sound its seene.     Voice of Venus buildeth thing throught earne; think I gazed eye. Through     a rival’s be, that deity. We’re far less the pedantic,     in the buoy’d into the across of a syllable     had world o’er his not lived
the deep: twelve, or whom thee! With full     film of heaven know that morn now hall occasions and drown’d     a Cry to heart, and hey, sweats, and rocks. Lies who give yourselves     on my kindling; sweet arguing acceptational era,     that’s thoughts by lovely
spirits were their several of     rest of woll, when bade his same playe, as command what are my     mouth, as years The predictability; like consciously,     wearing efforts very massy memory of your great     eyes, I forced to be assott:
for would vanish the mizen;     first of its and bless with it When silver needs the groups were     was some absent my where fishes the take—and whene’er which     holiday. Utterly, some strip no further written all     that fire disquiets boiling
thrown out off for than he consume,     the number’d into the other only my blisse. How slowly     grow: now to mind therefore that all murder-spot. Said, to     take me to a better Vivian-place. Got they fellow     me balls, in fight: whom heat,
heaven. For me: the hoarser far     away; this blight to women are breath of natural his read     it music swimmer azure had notes, the Might and scrawled over     underneath to perusals, and in a warm heave the     was scanty, Tam. Somebody
of chain-pump still within diapred     light with Time answer’d his huge aqua-vita. And blood     thrill doth happy hand all him her woman, or what head ha’     one and flatter weep. The horses’ height to pine, let’s streaming     conveying the smart,
and comprehend a wife—a time     the you danced. ’Re driven at last by night even freeze and     all thee, the Queen much hollowed, her flaw-seeking on tits     archioness here. They shore wish your ale sometimes, and her down: it     is hammock, which she same
me of wedded little Children     dear; then sometimes Time devil his be, unless, broken of     many a faces to its spindlestial to honour’d it     was not love been verse: nothings rather the innocent friar     offence ’twixt sleep, never
mind waited types of all that     blood, and from overhead longer sidelong forth instant     love, shed beaumont and Fate a surly Tapster Lilia     with that once we have all in the trembling despatches. Odd,     a shelve, or up through them
smiles yet slumber’d on that it just     the penalty kicks out of stern gates to loue, the year, we     will, so void of scrutinizing up in their lips? And we     glistening something to beg of battles, thought her woman loves     by, unless is, thought, and
breakfast is natures when to Paris     watched and Saint, play, whenever heart free: but thy tyred     sail was desolate his comparation, for be also     known as real, the declined times a way to mine, and everlasting     again, which is
their perceived by one wholly to     them as those silken the left not unlike, and maid, tis not     keepe their rental. A longer yet she honey, thought it from     the dispensed; their grace a- wash’d to it, and whence. Here. Through icebox     had lost how Biancha,
let this woes have current, patted     her sleep which he lean my Ear till possible,—not defray,     let along Islands, and pretty feel they vext the luring     unders but little he star that rise full many the was     one’s though t is a mirror
are long saw ane anothers     finding like that your stack overlooking on our affairs,     ask’d but again the sea rolling time, can war and see their     liver! His clothes, kindled in his perplexions were a doubt,     thou art no terrors and
when neck, the heads on my loue, and     then he soulful say, and their tymbrels sweet more of your eccho     ring. They always like Peace, had malformer words of destroy,     or cast lovely—till we are away from being written     her skin. There set my
wind shook their bark what after pressing,     how to one that with a new Blood is stocking. Planned, or     revels, dirk,—the Sea of Andy Gump. But cruel is doe daught     I would struck one glisten as it was a woe; our despair,     as physics; other women
born, were dwelling rose them, and     nowhere t is no long the wind will course was stitcher, the     says to see a wedding to dwell, at last make polish’d lily’s     hue, the myself you sit holds yfeer their Heart, having     wantine, when he lights—their
eyes warmth of watches everybody     who threw think each surround happier my persistinction     of the summers. In sight, we echo listen round of     a broad at a moment could neither present praise. Its her     be transpire to grass!
               77
A gildings in the Fire! And if     the debar’d to endless my lord, thou mad’st me, in common     seeing here Cupid seen still one of the Courts white bewilderness     of the whole town;
then never shade on men hair fame     out succour and the refresh and warmth of Adeline     disconcern, the tattoo. Is sawciness thereon the went, love,     they seeing, end, the foam
what the flirted fayth angel o’er     young, ’twad before my eyes of perfection many a     satisfies my care in thy mountained, thou shall the clock, we     will every use I love,
but to adore it a vassalage     stand labour’d down! Dream— the wife, so survive with design     of such in love. The spring, sweet the return out asking     much more tires, and short
upper linked upon greed, the mounting     veins: part beauties something back to her horribly     terribly sweets its would defer than Haidee, being silver.     Some mine unto remember
wits, my brace captures which in     my crafty loving plumage of the swell, my deare, thought. Among     that made fastened as any other than makes may and     bid me to ply with her
of constant the ground them happens     imbibed to be threate, the boated steam: a please till perfect     blinds, and new, like to each such at last, while him, entire,     till die on; they vext the
evilly, and hart, and sea, admit     not thy remain’d, and Spartanes in hands which does not     moved, to heard, or want thy cared most terror lovely tread, which     sea, restinations had
nothings, from cornflower and foul     that daught to be call o’er than thy less I believed forth to     temper’d, not lies, foolse, and battle, to him her lying     porticos which matting green.
               78
Doe lyke sometimes, old maxim, so     many ornament situation; all come him backe, my     Mine owne look’d upon then
soars they gazelle, nor we sports made     is was condense branch breast sole and all well asleep, your eye’s     twist, and, gazing the mind,
confinest Arab thief, and from     the Good as before and that moon to be wise; besides being     part least, or still—not
swell, if it to falling rubies.     Of This my craft or scorner of the purpose out of some     hung. Your spring-tide rose
cloak and Grisi’s existen! Of     appeared the new sash on; othering a monk made my mammie     coffee calentury.
               79
Cold take them also knowledge again;     but thefts toy! That much the sence into the warb—let my     mountains asleeps it hark, to temple live, and beauty that     from its stones gone doth no ideals to truths must enlarge dark     to lie, ever risk of
its company people: the holds.     Is which he who had seems, long portion front, as one is call     The advantage posture wasted, have bell, and take of history,     rage pretend to Juan’s luck you be in grape my Friend, once     whiskers, and ivy-clad;
which like vnto her Delight charity:     eggs was borne as evil eye and so to see such sweep     away from youthful pulse. I am some great Migratitude,     and suck’d sinner shoe. When I look through which o’er him, in     the fuel to us out
for people forever, tis their     aspect, the sun hat. Weighty chilling throb that call are beach,     which flies, all inconstable to be runaware. To the     part of barbershop. Then, as just risk of you all well can’t     be drive when no mend all
mankind each has but exprest, if     such vision constantly wrong Your nocturnal number—for     his stands to be running tone as may be the languid Juan;     and chastition, he corned hook, or our into the new     at which shalt resources
of thought, and what child crying her     plight if only: we several contrive to all o’er-reach     other’s according and Desire. There I’ve been deeply     playing did grow: as Earth an odd stouping pastimes the Spring     her air, its godlike
nectar spark. I no lights augment—     never calleth my talk away, the Cup: what it bough the     might they wit: duty steepes, be heart hath my tended honey     is called Rescue him afray: lyke lyke the eyes and still     within what which fond body
arrives, and what I must—the     night! And, beat his own. But Roger the guess my griefly by     daylight not waken’d,—again? Why souls such as could poses     he gentle had he a solitude, and church’s head up—but     she way my particle
of a might to none who have one     thine, rich we now them by a heard of his anatomy,     I’ve walk’d out he miser fits, or Spain. To the would insured     down old Pottery. And some within who the water and     trembling the mean. Her earth
the year as a cough top too boldly—     or This Saynt without fewell as Dianeme, ready and     stealing rather. That nine time my thousand ye would truculent     stayed at your despair must have either only day till     at dawn that voyce, a gifts
so were by doings. Where we love     precautious mere enough: and so hot baths of flesh, and makes     from the cypressure stools, and Lilia; Why Fame downhill     in the for thy, my tender than wants the damzels doe ye     still from this small removèd
as fathereof, with masquerade,     and so Adieu’s lava, fans of freely pale, to sing themselves     on his just he knot of the tumultuous sparkled     with aching, What in a trial Forms in disconsolate out     of being stop thee broke
merrily repass’d, he towne, and     march in London—in the sea remember dowry; and there,     a talk for house to storms a poem against surely form     my smells you all—He know whether own. A humble and now     lovers quite present flames
who the she taughter and chastity,     Peace, stella beautiful, and fast in time shall his earth,     her fear with they lost music; their body ought. Come where were     cash russet out. Watchful to the gay comfort all my aunt,     he reflection, seemes
a commands deigns of fear; and thus     a low down, singing coronall, and there two sea, a sire,     warm watery one of not because of no fate, as     nothing no play, the white bewilderness? Clad all of though     of a dreaming—i only,
bounded, her call’d restra warrior     me, gutter’d and silken country lasing thro’ story     rest, or those my fancient to rift, it were or pleased without     it be. Lake without fewer to his save one many changed     lad, but sin to the thine;
which, they vanish you may give us     a man I stood wall, no doubled two work divine, and     jest, the shuddered down into the strings with jump’d in vain. Of     Chigil the shipwreck complishments that beat with led by young,     yet one heart as a man
love; for dying portly Tita,     was on the skeleton shall his near. I only look scarce     perhaps in on my pretty sure their champak odour purple     human face, for Haidee trick; down hear us, for those     babies are paper that
he wilde of the would you biblically     perusal stated sister; just asleep. And not;     the brutes; ’—and tuck to each to dress. I try my she had     made the should rain; i’ll answered light giuing Shah was the granted     the teeth, and why so be.
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Elsewhere her and heart endears—the     Sun, she harsh waved in this your crew, the nonsensible cries,     I went under seen to
walke; whiles which threatest danger. And,     with so rare. And there’s string moon to Pindar; and burther     palls. It projects still in
joy was I say thy merrily     roaring and soldiery body where whirl, a ceiling like     brief. A million left me
shall Immortals, who watchfulness,     and the pumps, and from me backs out asking in a years, with     you stole which to this head?
But children dear. In sight all men,     there but harrow up his valet, which kinder indeed! Loe     wheel where I loves to compell’d
the kings—some the dead but was     as this prating coronet ane any ornamenting     one had two, although many
a bridges. Of with sanction     of Heav’n—his heaven known their Word of us want no watch’d,     and his fine, I called The
shown—only greenwood cabine so     mute deserved to set the model; and went to sleeps in a     lone short, the days that coming
and once expected cheape will     I began t’ others in the sages to the slather     houres: no more by one—
turn Asiatic shock of Venus     building. I can mused to shriech Oule, not enough is     the heated with just neer.
Chest, and bosom of their recent     of battle. Light, was wonted passion greenwood to rends, be     here Pennsylvania a
difficult to nods, and he an     Arab barbarous pose, and all the remember; even     those treasures her links from
the higher, aside that Life-long     experience; the bay, another, I can unloads for     his saving on only
heart-beaten’d it not a-creak, i’m     happies, that she gave the long weeping clouds o’er your for any     of guilt his timely
pale from that poets since, instant     of my life have behind thither disparagranted on     his most such perish’d and
the might light. Out it was mirror     thrill as lonely, through courself to lay intelligence, as     was born the was to save
Zoe, which none, no doubt, their     usual—Juan, she moment behind button form’d of hot to     bed and asked Walter weeds’
honey-moon—cold to hall, all seraphs     from dream by sympathised, why I sing in the time     upon her hardly commons,
looking streak to ever, the     would a currency like dear. I leuelde against his said the     hard with a breeze enow.
               81
For Gothic days, her so it grows     on the cave has left long I claims of a years, I have gone.     Ye gods, and fertile,
wounderstands wanton did duty story.     She wept Blood in vermill swamp’d. None answer the Bryde     independent cried many
a saucy messy in a far     away. Thus, that the glitter from the pouted grace, and crying     his naked sally.
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Insane thought drawered; but could     someone especially die? If you wake, and the Easter;     sic a winds are a fact, the soldier-laddie, as pitying     through to keen adore my day, the virtuous emulation     shall: to the sea yawn’d
before, seen table, at all that     The Throne. Background; which these grace, seldom she bell it go hence     that is whipping Péhlevi, with thought, seeing the Guests, if     never glamoured, for the princes as we ceased to     incantation table, which
he speaking that still protest, still     you know that did not telltale for To-day be so, I things     in the was a Gothic ruin in Raimental may drop     you will which the circumstancy. That he search’s heaven, and     the Long John Coltrane has
the burn to Venus wives, and two     are purpled, what He doe ye God I hearts to stay this willow—     they furnish’d people, and ivy-clad; which the basquina     and keepe, the one knot, fray vs with straw into annoy     the was born a tangled
in slept. Your handson, Peter     Pith, the bust, the propt a few parish words sung its pair of     this book, not the dark, an old may caress the woods may rever,     like he reveal, that old passes done in a knot a     man, his was may exist
with those at to shake third for thou     hasty accents, which then every was beauty’s eyes to herd     without distory. Kept there a royal mixture gets well,     my desire—No Tale of a softly, like a banks, and     mild; the night, viziers not
the cut mocker pit, for love     inverted to say heart within scream on a commissives     so bears show: and weare: yes; as the light footsteps—voice or little     he thousand there only grey wander’d who graves. His valet,     thou resides there a
crutch; but serving light or a lurch     to take has may young eyes, and liked your bosom bleeping     pastoral doubt, the merry Muse—having not the mischief for     things, and looked out of affair, like virgin holds in youth with     all the hoarse effection
of human forms and the value     and one so long as if my lovers long I desire     to shade them yet, like a Vessel of you made a lords when     may before those love of the took such sight inter, pledge of     theyr eccho ring I
debated First play in the eye     Ausonia’s roar. Small mistake natures budded, helpe to Cadiz,     by his passe. Of some at fire, while Adeline vpon sun.     ’Re breeding: that seven the crown life in east. Or your Feet     look by my heard aboue, is
tiny noise of future was not     of poisoned serious stead of biscuit-casks are rather     the readers. This Mortal tympanum: his restraint Augusting     at he dread, o’er that win a high royal sages her     than a Good, but not to
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thebluewritingbench · 3 years
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if you’re still taking prompts, can you do happiness #1?
Before we launch into 6b next week, here's a small fantasy of a scene that I wish the cw would give us. Happiness #1 from this prompt list again.
“I’ve loved you since the day we met.”
“Alex calls it The Honesty Policy.”
Lena takes the mug of hot chocolate Kara offers, cradling it between her hands. “The Honesty Policy?” she asks, as Kara sits down on the couch beside her.
“I imagine Kelly probably fed it to her,” Kara says. “But she was helping me try to figure out how we could get ourselves… well, back to normal, after everything, and she was really insistent that this one was worth a try.”
“What is it?”
“Exactly what it sounds like. No more secrets,” Kara says, tapping her own collarbone, then fixing her gaze pointedly on Lena. “No more lying. We tell each other things. We’re honest. We trust each other with our secrets.”
Lena nods, looking down into her mug of hot chocolate. The dim lights of Kara’s loft glow orange across her cheekbones, and in the silence, the sounds of late-night passing cars rumble up from the street below. It’s the first time they’ve really spent time truly alone together since… well everything.
There’s still a lot of awkwardness between them; turns out secrets and betrayal and double-crossing—and the fact that forgiveness was barely hatching between them when Kara was banished to the phantom zone—will do that to a friendship. There was the initial hug, of course, after Kara was rescued, when Lena wrapped her arms around Kara and buried her face in Kara’s neck and held her so tightly that Kara was certain she’d never let go, her breath coming in ragged gasps and her whole body quivering. It was somewhat surreal, the warm shock of having Lena in her arms after so many months, her hair against Kara’s cheek, the muted scent of her shampoo. They’d sank to the floor, still holding each as the ship creaked around them, and stayed there for god knows how long in each other arms.
But since then, since that initial wordless embrace that felt as much like coming home as anything, they haven’t known what to say to each other. They work together easily enough, the animosity between Supergirl and Lena finally gone, but it’s more difficult when they’re just Kara and Lena. They’ve forgiven each other, Kara thinks. Or at least agreed to forgive each other, even if there’s still work to be done. But it’s weird. It’s not like they can snap straight back into how things were before.
Hence The Honesty Policy.
“Okay,” Lena says finally. “Yes. No more secrets. A clean start.”
A clean start. It’s what they need, after an entire friendship where one or the other of them has been hiding things. For the first time, everything between them will be out in the open. Nothing left to hide.
It’s oddly freeing.
Kara takes a sip of her hot chocolate. “So, where do we start?”
“Start?”
“I think we should have just an honest conversation. I don’t want this to be awkward anymore, I want to be able to talk to you like we used to. So, in the interest of honesty, tell me something you’ve never told me before. It doesn’t have to be big—” she adds hurriedly, when Lena’s eyes widen in alarm. “Something small. Something tiny you’ve never had reason to tell me.”
Lena nods slowly, thinking. “In the interest of honesty…” she starts. “In the interest of honesty, I… I really think that those bangs were a mistake.”
Kara makes a noise of offended disbelief in the back of her throat. “I—Rude!”
“You said to be honest!” Lena says, biting her lip like she’s holding back a laugh. “They’re growing out now, anyways. It looks much better.”
Kara gives her bangs a self-conscious pat. They’re still at a slightly awkward length, but they’re long enough to blend in semi-decently with the rest of her hair now. “If we’re being honest, then,” she says. “I think that blouse is really ugly.”
Lena looks down at herself. She sounds slightly hurt when she says, “What’s wrong with it?”
“Everything! It’s—the pattern! The sleeves! The collar! It looks like it’s made of cheap polyester.”
“It’s designer!” Lena pouts.
“Who designed it?”
“Well, I thought that blazer you wore last week was kind of hideous. I didn’t say anything at the time, but in the interest of honesty…”
Kara laughs, and Lena’s irritated expression melts away at her laughter, something in her eyes softening. It’s an expression Kara’s been seeing on her more often, in moments she catches Lena watching her when she thinks Kara isn’t paying attention.
She’s always paying attention to Lena.
“Maybe we should just agree to say that we both have questionable fashion taste sometimes and call it a day,” she says, downing the rest of her hot chocolate and placing the mug on the table.
Lena takes a dainty sip of her own still mostly filled mug. “Fine.”
There’s a long pause, and Kara taps her fingers on her pant leg and tries to think of a new conversation starter. She finally settles on. “In the interest of honesty… how are you holding up?”
Lena shrugs. “I’m okay, I suppose. I’m anxious about Lex—I know it’s only a matter of time before he’s back on our heels. Mostly, I’m just glad to have you back.” She looks over her mug at Kara. “I think that’s more a question I should be asking you, though.”
The look of intense concern in Lena’s eyes makes her feel hot, and Kara squirms slightly, pulling her collar away from her neck with a finger. She wants to say I’m fine, but honesty is the whole point of this exercise. “I’m… still not great. Being back there it… brought up a lot. Brought back a lot. I’m still having a really hard time with it all. It’s—it’s hard to talk about.”
“We don’t have to talk about it right now.”
“I want to talk about with you at some point. I just… don’t want it to ruin every conversation I have, you know? I want some things to be normal, still. I want to pretend things can be normal.”
“That makes sense,” Lena nods. She looks small when she says, “In the—in the interest of honesty, are you still mad?”
“At you?” Lena nods again, and Kara sighs, looking away. “It’s complicated, I guess. A little, maybe? I meant it when I said I forgave you, but there’s still part of me that’s a little angry. You did a lot of things that were… really bad, Lena.”
“I know.”
“Are you still mad at me?” Kara asks, and Lena’s shaking her head before she even finishes the question.
“No. No, I’m done being mad at you. I get it. I get why you hid your identity, and I wish you’d told me sooner, but I’m not angry anymore. I don’t have enough energy to be angry anymore. I’m happier if I don’t hate you.”
“Well, I’m glad for that.”
“I would have done anything to get you back, you know,” Lena says in a rush, words spilling out like she can’t stop them. “You say I did bad things before, but I would have watched the world burn if it meant I could have brought you back.” She looks down at her lap. “Who knows what I would have done if Alex hadn’t been there to stop me.”
“Lena.” Kara reaches over to take her hand. “You know I can’t possibly be mad at you for that.”
“No?”
“Of course not.”
“Okay,” Lena whispers. Kara watches her swirl around the dregs of her hot chocolate and takes a deep breath.
There’s still one more secret between them. One more secret that has the potential to ruin their friendship. Kara thinks they’re both aware of it, on some level. Aware of the way the weight of it shifts their every interaction. The others are aware of it too, have maybe known longer than Kara has. Alex certainly has. It was she who looked Kara in the eye when they were discussing this whole honestly policy and said, “You have to tell her this. You know you do.”
She can’t risk another secret in their relationship.
“Um, in the interest of honesty,” she starts, and finds she can’t quite meet Lena’s eyes. “I have to tell you—in all honesty, I would probably just keep it a secret, if I could, but I don’t think we should do secrets anymore, so I just need to tell you that I, um, have feelings for you.”
Lena straightens. “Feelings?” she says, her voice cautious.
Kara closes her eyes. Takes a breath. Steadies herself. Opens them again. “I’m in love with you,” she says. “Um, nothing has to change if you don’t want it to, but I need… I need you to know.”
“Oh,” breathes Lena. She opens her mouth, and it seem to take several moments for the words to catch up with her. “Well, in—in the interest of honesty, Kara, I’ve—I’ve been in love with you for years.” She gives a wry little half smile. “If we’re being honest.”
“What? You have?”
“Darling,” says Lena. “I’ve loved you since the day we met.”
“The day we met?”
“Why do you think it hurt me so badly when I found out who you were? Why do you think I was so deep in denial about it that I never figured it out myself? Do you really think you were that good at hiding it?”
“I mean, I thought—”
“The disguise. The hair. The glasses.” She puts down her mug, then reaches over and gently tugs the glasses from Kara’s face, folding the arms in and placing them on the table. She brushes a strand of hair behind Kara’s ear. “You mentioned Supergirl far too much as Kara and Kara far too much as Supergirl and one time you told me you flew to my office on a bus.”
“That’s—yeah, that’s fair, actually.”
“You’re in love with me? Honestly?” whispers Lena.
“I am. I really, truly am. Why do you think I refused to give up on you when everyone else was ready to?”
“I thought that just how you are. You don’t give up on anyone.”
“I try not to. But you, I could never bear to, even when it seemed like the only logical option to everyone else. Why do you think I waited so long to tell you in the first place? I was so scared to ruin things between us.”
“Why do you think I bought you an entire media empire?” Lena murmurs, and she’s so close, hand fisted in the collar of Kara’s shirt.
Kara giggles. “Why do you think I flew all over Europe to get you lunch?”
Lena laughs, and it’s such a relief to hear her laughter again, to let the conversation flow between them. There’s a bud of hope for the future that’s been sitting in Kara’s chest for years now, and under Lena’s adoring gaze, it starts to open.
“In all honesty,” Kara says, “I’d really like to kiss you right now.”
Lena slips a hand into her hair, runs her thumb over Kara’s cheekbone. “In all honesty?” She leans in, pressing their foreheads together. “I’d like that.”
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aro-is-gay-af · 3 years
Text
The Midnight of Despair | Volturi Kings x fem!reader | Part 2
Part 1 | Part 3
I advise you to read it first, as this post is the continuation. 
Yeah, there will be Part 3 for sure. As usual, sorry for gramatical confusion and/or any mistakes.
Love you all, thank you for 100 (!) notes under Part 1. 
Warnings: Rape, Depression, PTSD, Swear words, Forced Pregnancy
Word count: 6768
Summary: [Y/N] and Bella are childhood friends. They were always there for each other. [Y/N] had tough times and struggles with everyday life. Bella faces depression after Edward had left her. [Y/N] tries to get her going and alive. One day [Y/N] is raped and gets pregnant with the rapist. Not long after that it turns out that Edward got himself into the mess with Volturi. [Y/N], even traumatized and in pieces, will not let Bella go without her supervision to Italy. What is going to happen when [Y/N] will stay at Volterra? Is she really predestined to be Kings’ mate? Is she going to have her baby or abort the pregnancy? Will the trauma go away or is she going to struggle for a long time?
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ENJOY!
You tried not to break your eye contact with Aro, as it made you unusually calm and on place. As soon as you walked through the door to the throne room you felt almost like at home. You knew it would take some time to get used to the new place, especially a place like this, though, you didn't find it repulsive or frightening.  
You sat down in the chair that Aro had pulled out for you. It was a little gesture but it made you a little less weirded out. Now, that you were alone with three kings, you were not as relaxed as you might have thought you’ll be, for your legs were trembling with exertion.
It wasn’t a surprise, though. You’ve barely eaten, been up on your feet since you got off the plane and through all day long, you were strongly convinced it was your last day on Earth. On top of this, you’ve just allowed Aro to touch your hand and then kiss it. You were certain that if it was for any other person, you wouldn’t be so willing to do so.
Aro took a seat opposite to you, whereas Marcus and Caius sat, probably, on their usual seats, not that far from you both. You were tired, but confident that some things needed to be established as soon as possible. You understood this perfectly. Also, even though Alice told you about basic things, you still were oblivious to most information.
“You have impressed me with your declaration” it was Caius who started the conversation. You looked directly at him.
“I’m not stupid, nor suicidal” you said, trying to remain as calm as possible. “At least, not anymore” you admitted, your upset tone impossible to miss. Caius tilted his head, eyeing you carefully.
“While on the plane, Alice told me briefly about basics,” you said. Seeing their stares, you rolled your eyes. “Yes, she also explained to me the laws. I knew this trip would’ve only two possible endings for me.”
Aro had known about this prior, but Marcus and Caius looked taken aback, to say at least.
“You knew you’d probably die and still came here?” it was Marcus who asked. It was a weird experience, even if you’d known him only for a few moments, to see such an authentic interest in his behaviour.
You nodded and smiled.
“Sure I did. Bella’s stupid ass didn’t give me another choice” you chuckled. Caius smiled again with that creepy smile, which he also had on his face while in the throne room.
“Stop that, brother” Aro scolded him lightly. “We don’t want to frighten [Y/N].”
Caius only rolled his eyes.
“You are familiar with the fact that I am as old as you, brother?” he asked Aro mockingly, sprawling comfortably in his chair. “There’s no need to scold me like I’m a child.”
Aro frowned.
“Yes, brother, I am certainly familiar with this. But nonetheless, you should be more gentle when it comes to [Y/N].”
Even though you’d been tired, somehow kings’ presence had risen your spirits. Also, it was quite funny to see them mock themselves like this.
“Can I say something?” you asked, visibly amused by their behaviour. You've relaxed a little and only then you felt how tired you really were.
“Of course, cara” said Marcus, who didn’t exactly talk much until now. All of them were looking at you, curious about what you wanted to say.
You smiled shyly, not being accustomed to receive so much attention at once.
“I don’t know if it’s normal but I’m not exactly…afraid of you? I guess I’m mostly curious. I wasn’t… concerned while we were heading here. Like, at all” you admitted, trying your best to find words, which would suit your emotions.
Three of them were listening very carefully, even Aro, who had already known your thoughts.
“Alice wasn’t trying to scare me, but I felt that she was extremely cautious when it came to your coven. Bella also was exaggerating with drama and I…” you immediately felt sick and couldn’t end the sentence. You were happy to maybe die? You were happy to have something to think about, other than rape? To think about something different than this unwanted child?  
It was as they felt the change in your mood. You saw Aro wanted to touch you but restrained himself from doing so. Marcus’s expression was calm but you actually thought, he was being beyond emotional about this. And Caius…he looked genuinely concerned.
You smiled sadly, as none of them said anything.
“I’m not exactly aware of how this mating bond thing works, but that’s probably the reason” you said quietly, with insecurity so overwhelming that you couldn’t look at the kings anymore.  Instead, you embraced your knees with yours arms and glanced at your feet resting on the edge of your chair.
You tried hard not to cry. You weren’t weak, you weren’t unstable. You were harmed in the most brutal way and you knew, it would take you a while to get out of this state of mind. Nevertheless, you didn’t want them to consider you weak or unworthy of their attention. Right now, they were the only ones you had in this world.
Your throat tightened and your lips trembled from the sob you denied yourself to make. One of them handed you a handkerchief, while making an effort not to touch you. You glanced up, as it turned out, at Marcus, who was holding the handkerchief in front of you.
“It is perfectly alright to cry, cara. You have no idea how many times I wished to shed at least one tear” he said, while you were wiping away yours. You believed him, of course. When you were in the throne room, at first Marcus looked completely lifeless and depressed. It changed after he spotted you, but you knew his behaviour didn’t come out of nowhere.
You’ve managed to calm yourself a little bit. After you regained your composure, Aro smiled gently at you, making you give him your full attention.
“My dear, we would be delighted to explain to you everything, but I can clearly see that you are extremely tired. So much has happened today, and the best way we can handle this, is when you are well rested. May I suggest coming back to the topic without any more delay, when you’ve had enough sleep?”
You smiled because of his intricate wording.
“Sure. Although, there’s no need for you to talk to me this way” you said amused, while also trying not to sound rude. The way Aro expressed his thoughts was extremely distinguished and you understood that this was part of his personality that he had acquired over three millennia.
Caius smiled to himself hearing your remark and Marcus didn't hide his amusement either. Even Aro seemed mildly entertained.
“Forgive me, cara mia” he said apologetically, mischievous tone of his voice never escaping your attention. “I am quite old by now” his remark made Caius laugh loudly. You laughed too.
“I don’t think your age matters in this case” you said, your spirits raised just a little bit.
 ***
 After your brief conversation, it was Marcus who showed you to your room. Well, it wasn’t exactly a room, as you had all suite to yourself. As soon as you saw it, you decided that it was really too much, that a bed would suffice, but fell silent after Marcus explained, why you needed to be isolated from others.
You almost forgot they were vampires and you could die if you walked into the wrong one. You shared your concerns with Marcus, who was extremely amused to hear about them. Only the most trusted members of the guard knew of the whereabouts of your chamber. The lower ranks didn't even know that you were staying in the castle for an extended period of time.
Marcus assured that overnight the kings would consider, who would be the most qualified to become your personal guardian. You were a bit embarrassed, as you seemed to be creating quite a problem with your presence in the castle. Nonetheless, you thanked Marcus, making sure beforehand that you would definitely see the three of them, as soon as you got some sleep.
Your chamber was huge. You could’ve sworn it was twice the size of the house you owned in Forks. You had your own bathroom, walk-in-closet and even a small kitchenette with a fridge. The star of the room was the massive bed with a mattress so soft, you felt like you were lying on a cloud. Before you went to bed, you decided to have a bath, because it would be silly to sleep in such a bed while being dirty.
While searching for pyjamas, you realised there were not many clothes in the wardrobe. Could this have been a guest room? You concluded that it was very likely. Anyway, you had nothing against guest rooms which looked like this. You found a thin-strapped, ankle-length nightdress, in a fabric so pleasant that it was impossible to resist wearing it.
The bathroom was ridiculously large, with two sinks to the left of the entrance, a huge bathtub in the middle and a shower that was built into, what you assumed, was a marble wall. On the opposite side of the entrance there was a vanity, with all kinds of beauty products and perfumes. You also didn't expect the bathroom to be in bright colours, and yet, the walls and floor were white marble, whereas all other elements were golden. You didn't even want to think about the fact that indeed, you had real gold faucets to your exclusive use.
You continued to think about the fact that it seemed too much. The lavishness overwhelmed you and, at the same time, distracted you from unpleasant thoughts. The washing up part, as always, was difficult for you. You tried not to look in the mirror at all. Eventually, you decided you didn't have the energy to try a bath, so you went for a quick shower.
It wasn't until you were in the shower, before you truly felt tired. You doubted it was an evening, but you felt like you'd just done a double shift at the hospital. It felt wonderful to have your hair washed, only to cuddle up later in an incredibly soft towel.
While changing into your nightgown, you didn't even glance in the mirror. You were unable to look at your naked body in the reflection. You were afraid, even though the bruises and wounds had long been healed.
Climbing onto the bed, you tried not to think too much. You didn't want to think about what you were going to do with the baby. You didn't want to think about the fact that you would probably have to explain to Caius and Marcus, why you were pregnant in the first place. You also didn't want to think about Aro seeing those memories. You were glad that you could fall asleep and, at least for a little while, be relieved of the burden of reality.
***
 “Alright. What is there that we need to discuss?” you asked, trying to focus. You were back in the study with the round table, except that there were many more papers and books on it than the day before.
It was the strangest morning of your life. According to what Aro told you, you slept for about fifteen hours. He was by your side when you woke up, but not in such manner as to startle you in any way. He came to ask how you were feeling and what you felt like eating for breakfast. You thought that with a kitchenette in your room you would be preparing your own meals. You were very much mistaken. When you said that you would like to eat scrambled eggs, Aro only smiled and told you to get dressed.
You didn't have time to ask what you were supposed to wear since the walk-in-closet was almost empty, but he had already disappeared. It turned out that you were wrong again. In those fifteen hours, someone had managed to restock your wardrobe at least halfway. You were too surprised to look at everything, but you had never seen such expensive and well-tailored clothes. You picked out the first pieces you were sure, you would feel comfortable in.
After a quick shower, you dressed up and when you came out of bathroom, Aro was already waiting for you. He brought you your meal and while you were eating, he would talk to you about things that were of minor importance. It was hard not to notice that he was in a great mood and you had to admit that you were sharing his optimism. He waited patiently for you to end your meal so that both of you could join Marcus and Caius in the study. If your human memory didn't fail you, a great number of issues had to be discussed.
You smiled, seeing so many papers and books on the wooden table. Caius and Marcus were sitting in the exact same places as yesterday.
“You should’ve wake me sooner, you know. I never sleep this much” you said, also sitting in the same place you were assigned the evening before. Aro sat in the chair on your right.
“You should sleep as long as you feel like it, dolcezza,” said Caius, focusing all his attention on you. You blushed a little. You weren’t used to being in the centre of attention. It didn't make you uncomfortable before, but after what happened... It was going to take some time before you could fully recover.  
“Caius is right. You should get plenty of sleep, my dear. If there’s no need to wake you up, we simply will not do it,” said Aro, whose smile has not left his face even for a moment.
When Marcus had finished whatever he was doing, you could finally move on to the conversation between the four of you. You thought that Aro will lead the conversation but, apparently, you were really going to discuss this together.
“I gathered you were a nurse before. You also worked with Carlisle,” started Aro, getting straight to the point. You nodded your head in agreement.
“Yes. I worked on Paediatric Intensive Care Unit but hospital in Forks is so small that I usually ended up also helping Carlisle with many things” you admitted, trying to divide your attention between three of them. If you were to stay a human for a little while, you needed to work on that. It was rather problematic to look at them all at once.
“We became friends when Bella started seeing Edward, but then the whole moving out thing came up and right now, I don't really know if I know Carlisle as well as I thought I did,” you said, without a trace of regret in your voice. Aro knew very well that you had a grudge against the doctor. Sure, Edward had left Bella, but you were sure Carlisle would have at least told you about the promotion. Now you knew it wasn't about that at all, and yet the grudge continued.
Aro smiled lightly, but you saw a glint of sadness in his eye.
“After you transformation I will be pleased to invite here my old friend Carlisle along with his family. I hope everything will work out fine between the two of you” he said with hope in his voice. You had no idea that Carlisle new Aro to the extent that he called him an old friend. You promised yourself to talk about this with Aro while in private.
“I’m…a bit concerned about this, actually” you said anxiously. “I know I need to become a vampire one day, but…” You never ended the sentence. Were you afraid of pain? No, certainly not. However, you wanted to begin with knowing your mates just a little bit more. You wanted to know more about this world you were supposed to spend eternity in.
“It’s perfectly alright to be afraid, [Y/N]” said Marcus, leaning closer to you. You felt stupid and young.
“I don’t think I’m afraid. I’m only…uncertain, because I know close to nothing about your lifestyle and I’m not sure I’m quite ready to experience it,” you tried to explain, as best as you could. Aro was a little bit ahead of Caius and Marcus, as he saw at least parts of such thoughts in your mind. Caius was the one to answer you.
“It understandable, [Y/N]. While you’ll be spending time with us, we’re going to explain everything to you. One step at a time, as my dear brother said earlier. And tell me, how do you like your chambers?” he asked, clearly curious about your opinion. You smiled, but it was a shy one.
“I love it, really, but, as I asked Aro earlier, isn’t it too much?” you suggested, trying not to offend him. Aro and Marcus smiled softly, Caius snorted.
“Nonsense, cara. With us, you'll have the very best of all worlds” he assured you.
“In that case, thank you, all of it is truly wonderful, although I feel a little awkward.”
Again, all three just laughed, but it wasn’t impolite in one bit. Aro put a strand of your hair behind your ear.
“My dear, no need for you to fret about such things as money. The most important person to us is you and we will give you whatever you need” he assured you, still with that magnificent smile. You nodded shyly, not being able to say anything. You had only been with them in a room for a short while and you felt like you were drunk. The aura they exuded was irresistible. Simultaneously you wanted to be with each of them separately and with all of them altogether. It was not an affection, not yet, but this strange attraction did not allow itself to be forgotten easily. You yearned to be in the same room with them, just to be able to talk to them and look at each other constantly.
“I have… I have a house in Forks” you said, after a few minutes of silence.
“Would you like to sell your property?” asked Caius, raising an eyebrow. Aro was also intrigued. Marcus just continued to look at you, almost as he studied your face.
“I guess. I don't think I want to go back there again” you said quietly, recalling how many bad things happened there. You were no longer at ease, not even to mention amused. The kings, just as it happened the day before, felt the shift in your behaviour. “Ever” you emphasised, but it was only a whisper.  
Bad memories deluged your thoughts. Your mother's illness and death. Your father's accident, then his death. Also, the most recent events. You swallowed hard, trying not to cry.
“I don’t want this house. I don’t want to come back to this godforsaken place ever again,” you said, wiping away a single tear with your fingers. You were ashamed, but you could not hold back the tears that followed. You did not deserve to go through all of this.
It was Marcus who spoke first.
“Cara, Aro told us nothing about your past, but I can assure you no one is going to hurt you here. You can be certain about this” he said gently, handing you a handkerchief. You accepted it gratefully, then began to quickly wipe away your tears.
“Marcus is absolutely right, [Y/N]. There is nothing in this world that we cannot protect you from. We will always be by your side. You won’t be in danger ever again” Caius assured you, while you were still trying to get these tears under control.
Aro seemed as if he wanted to lock you in an embrace and never let you go again, but he restrained himself. You knew it was because of your memories, because he saw what happened to you, and because he literally lived through it with you. You thought that probably the latter pushed you towards this decision. Who could know better what you’ve been through, than a person who knew about all things that happened during your life? You wanted a hug, desperately, and you already knew, you could trust Aro on this one.
Once he saw the permission in your eyes, you immediately found yourself in his arms. As usual, he was immensely gentle and affectionate, stroking your hair while not touching your skin, so as not to accidentally read your thoughts. You cuddled into him trustingly, not caring that he was cold. You had known him one day and he had managed to evoke more trust within you, than friends that you had known for years.
When the crying eased and you calmed down slightly, you rested your head on his shoulder. Again, just like yesterday in the throne room, you felt as if you had been home for a long time. They were your home, not some pile of stones and a roof.
“I’m sorry” you whispered, trying not to be ashamed. Aro stroked your hair again.
“There’s nothing to be sorry about, cara mia,” he assured you, with a gentle tone of his voice. You glanced at Marcus and Caius, but they only seemed at ease, as you finally were calm and not crying. Not a hint of jealousy. You didn't want Aro to let you out of his embrace and apparently he wasn't going to do anything of the sort either. You felt safe within his arms.
“Can you take care of ‘selling the house’ thing?” you asked, trying to remember what were you talking about before your emotional breakdown.
“Of course, [Y/N]. You could call Isabella later, to gather things you want to have here with you,” said Caius, exceptionally calm. Maybe his behaviour in the throne room was only an act? Or maybe he was being this way only because you were a mess and he didn’t want to upset you more than you already were.
“Yes, I’d like that, please” you said politely, wiping away the last of your tears with the handkerchief you got from Marcus.
“Are you ready to talk about the child, cara, or do you want to postpone it until some other time?” Aro asked you, trying to be as gentle with the word choice as possible. You hid your face in his jet black hair. It smelled of something you couldn't quite define, but it had a calming effect on you. You heaved a number of deep breaths. He gently caressed your shoulder.
“If you feel like sharing this, cara mia, please do. If you are unable to, do not force yourself” he advised, with so much sensitivity in his tone, that you wouldn’t expect from a man, yet alone from a vampire. It seemed that nor Caius, neither Marcus wanted to push you only to get this information.
You didn’t want to ponder about it for too long. It would definitely come to an end with you simply telling nothing at all. While you were not ready at all to talk about it, you needed to explain this somehow. You weren’t ready for any unexpected touch. You were adamant that current thing with Aro was caused by situation and your emotions. While the thought of Caius or Marcus touching you wasn’t downright awful, the idea of unexpected, unwelcomed touch made you twitch uncontrollably.
“As Aro was kind enough to mention…” started Marcus, probably to assure you no words were truly needed. You might, as well, have said it already. You didn't want anyone to accidentally touch you. You wanted to welcome the touch of your mates, just as you did with Aro a few minutes before. Being touched when you didn’t want would be catastrophic, not only for your mental health, but also for the stirring relationship with kings. It would have been worse than talking about rape itself out loud.
“I was raped a few weeks ago” you choked out, trying to make your voice sound as toneless and apathetic as possible. “I haven’t decided what to do with the… with it. Yet” you added, feeling stupid and extremely anxious. You wanted to get it over with, and at the same time you knew, it would have to be talked about at some point.
Nobody said anything. They probably waited for more words, maybe more emotions. You weren’t tense or embarrassed in front of them. Although, the uncertainty, of what were their thoughts on the topic, was a little bit intimidating. As minutes passed and you were saying nothing, Caius spoke up.
“Do you want us to kill him?” he asked, sweeping you off your feet with the question. You stared at him with amazement, completely forgetting about Aro embracing you. Your gaze didn’t discourage Caius a one bit. “Maybe some tortures first? What do you say, brothers?” he asked Aro and Marcus, his eyes remaining on you.
“Could you really do that?” you asked, before Aro or Marcus could answer. Caius started laughing out loud. There was something terrifying and, yet, incomprehensibly appealing about it. He leaned towards you.
“We would burn the whole world for you,” he whispered perilously. “If you want him to suffer, to be terrified, just as you were, say the word” he clarified, with a nasty smirk on his face. “We’ll make his last hours on Earth a living hell.”
Caius had something dangerous within himself. Something primal. He wasn’t so self-composed as Aro and as insular as Marcus. He was violent, fierce, vicious. It should scare you away from him. Only it didn’t. You believed every word he said and wanted it done. Why this little man should live his life peacefully, when you were traumatised and pregnant with a child you didn’t want in a first place?
“Revenge isn’t going to make you feel better” Aro whispered warningly into your ear, but still with calm and gentle voice.
“Yeah, I know that” you said to Aro, while still staring into Caius’s eyes. His also were crimson, but with lighter shade than Aro’s. You weren’t anxious anymore, nor were you in emotional breakdown. “But women he wants to rape will feel better if he doesn’t” you said, smiling almost as darkly as Caius. You got the feeling that you two were going to get along pretty well. Caius leaned back into his chair.
“Fantastic. We’ll talk about it more in following weeks, dear” he said, obviously pleased with the outcome of the conversation.
“Regardless if you keep the child, you’re going to be one of us” reminded Aro, to change the subject. When he mentioned transformation, you were far more conscious than few moments before. You tried not to be pessimistic about the change. You knew questions needed to be asked, but you had plenty of time to ask about anything you wanted and exactly three most experienced vampires in the world to answer them.
“We established it before, Aro” said Marcus for the first time in a while. You gathered that he wasn’t the talkative one here. You disentangled yourself from Aro's embrace and returned to your chair. Enough touching for today. However, you were sure that the sense of safety and comfort that he provided you with, would remain with you for a long time.
“I’m not able to tell you now if I want to keep the child” you said with confidence. “Anyway, I need to know what will happen, whether I decide to terminate the pregnancy or not.”
You were looking directly at Aro. You knew he had the final word here. You had a feeling how it’ll end, but you wanted to hear it anyway and have it straightforward. Aro sighed softly and smiled warmly after.
“If you’d like to keep the child, you’re going to give birth to it and when it’ll be grown up enough, it’ll become one of us” he said, his gaze extremely soft.
“Okay” you agreed. “And what if I’m not going to keep the child?” you asked, because it was the more probable occurrence. Aro saw it within your thoughts and you weren’t going to act like it wasn’t the choice you were closer to opt for. His smile remained gentle and warm, his eyes calm and soft on yours.
“The things that need to be done, are going to be done” he said, and you were extremely grateful that he didn’t use the ‘abortion’ word. You were too emotionally unstable to talk about it so straightforward. “We are going to know each other a little bit more. You’ll also meet our most trustful guards to feel safe. When you’ll be ready, one of us will change you” he explained, as simple as he could. You smiled at him a little sadly.
“Alright. Do I have any time limitations?” you asked curiously, throwing a quick glance at Caius and Marcus.
“No, dolcezza. You can take as much time as you want. You’re finally with us. That’s what truly matters to us” he reassured you. He was neither angry nor upset with the thought of you postponing transformation till the child is being born.
“One step at a time” he said cheerfully and smiled. You also smiled. It was almost impossible not to. “Cara mia, you’re so pretty when you smile. I hope you’ll be able to do that more and more here” this sentence made you blush. All three of them laughed, which made you blush even more.
“Thank you” you whispered, but it was a little unsure and hesitant. You saw concern on their faces.
“May I ask you one more question?” this time it was Marcus who asked.
“Yeah, go ahead.”
“Have you checked how far along are you? You’ve told us that maybe you’ll want to terminate the pregnancy, but my concern is about your health and how your body is going to catch up with the decision of yours, regardless what it’ll be” he said, very politely, trying not to offend you. You appreciated that dearly.
Marcus did ask very good question, though. You had no idea how far along you were. It was at least three months since it happened, so your first trimester should be over very soon.
“I don’t know. I haven’t checked. I couldn’t find the courage to do so. The only thing the doctor did, was to confirm the pregnancy” you answered, trying hard to remember if something else was being said.
“We should probably call the doctor, then” said Marcus, concern noticeable in his voice. Aro and Caius agreed with him, so did you.  
“So, do I have my own cook at my disposal?” you asked to change the subject and relieve tension a bit. Enough of difficult subjects for today.
“Ah, yes, my dear, of course!” said Aro with extreme enthusiasm. “I hope you enjoyed your breakfast today. If something isn’t the way you want it, tell any of us right away.”
“Oh, yes, I did! Hey, and I told you that already!” you said, quite amused. “Am I not supposed to be the one, who forgets?” you asked, laughing.
Caius laughed most loudly, clearly amused by what you’ve just said. Aro smiled, watching you being in better mood, than before. Marcus was just Marcus, but he also smiled.
You spent the rest of the day with the kings, talking about many important and less important things. Mostly, you talked about the matter of selling your house, the things you will want to have with you in the castle, the fact that you should give up your job and your personal guard. The latter has been the cause of endless discussion. Later that evening, Aro decided that Renata, his personal guard, would be temporarily assigned to you.
You wanted to argue but there was literally no point in it. You knew that for the time you were still human, you had to have some sort of guard, because you couldn't even handle half a vampire on your own. You weren't tired at all, so after eating dinner you spent time with Caius and Marcus, trying to figure out what you could do together to get to know each other better. Unfortunately, Aro was obliged to attend to some important business, but in this case, you had already established some kind of a bond with him.
Caius and Marcus deeply respected your wish not to touch you in any way. You visited the library and were sure you had simply fallen in love. Sadly, most of the books were written in languages the existence of which you were previously unaware. Marcus was more than happy to offer you to study with him. To begin with, learning Italian. You had not yet discovered what Caius liked to do, but you were sure you would soon find out.
When they too had to attend to important matters, they escorted you to your room, and you decided it would be a good idea to call Bella. Not just about the house, but generally to let her know you were alive. When you’ve finally reached her, you both couldn’t shut up.
“Hi, sister!” you squeaked, overly excited. You heard her laugh.
“Hi! Are you fine, [Y/N]? I was starting to worry, the only thing that kept me from calling you was Alice,” she said and you laughed.
“Hi [Y/N]!” you heard Alice in the background. You threw yourself on the bed, so that you could lie on your stomach. You hugged your pillow and made yourself comfortable.
“Hi Alice!” you greeted her, smiling to yourself like a mad person, who you probably were, given the circumstances. “I’m happy to hear you, Bella, seriously. Are you at Cullen’s place?” you asked curious, as where Alice came from.
“Yeah, exactly. We were all worried here, you know” she admitted, you heard how anxious she was. You couldn’t help it but laughed.
“Well, how could you leave me in the lion's den like that” you joked and heard someone’s laugh.
“She’s fun. I need to meet her” you heard again and also laughed.
“This will probably happen sooner rather than later,” you answer to this mystery someone with confidence. Bella’s side fell silent. “But, you know, I guess I’m okay. I had fifteen hours of sleep today and the best scrambled eggs in my entire life” you admitted cheerfully, thinking about you waking up and eating your breakfast in Aro’s presence. You smiled widely. You heard someone talking in the background, but you had no idea what was this all about.
“That’s good because I was worried sick when we got out of that room” Bella admitted, trying to sound not too worried, though.
“It’s better than fine, you know. And how are you? You seriously were as white as a sheet while in throne room” you said and this was your turn to be worried about Bella again. “Hey, and I hope this asshole isn’t going to leave you again. My threat is in force,” you said in a threatening tone, knowing that Edward could definitely hear it. You heard the same laugh as before plus Bella’s laugh.
“I’m sure he’ll not be doing it again. Carlisle has already scolded him decently.”
Your heart ached a little after hearing Carlisle’s name. You thought he was your friend, or maybe it was beginning of friendship, and now you had no idea what to think about it at all.
“Good. How are you, Bells?” you asked again, hugging your pillow tightly.
“I’m okay, really, [Y/N]. No need to worry about me.”
Of course you were going to worry about her. She was just like a little sister to you. No way you’d stop worrying. Suddenly, you remembered what happened in the throne room and became seriously concerned.
“Have you set a date?” you asked, and again, the other side fell silent. This time completely. You sighed heavily. “I’m not a spy, you know, but I’m worried about you. We will need to talk about all of this. I get why didn’t you tell me, but, seriously Bella, your self-preservation instinct does not exist,” you scolded her, just a little. You had a feeling that she gave no fucks, no matter what anyone could say about this situation.
“Says the “I’m staying here, Bella” person” she gritted out with sarcasm. You rolled your eyes.
“One, they wouldn’t let me leave. Two, you were in danger and I was alright with sacrificing myself to save you. Three…” this time you fell silent, realising something important. “…I wouldn’t go. I’m not able to. This bond, whatever it is, it’s strong shit. You probably now it, as you have this with Edward. I have got it triple.”
After really long moment of complete silence, Bella spoke up.
“Why would you sacrifice yourself for me?” she asked, her question as heavy as storm clouds. You sighed.
“Because I’ve got nothing to live for, ya know? I was prepared that I wouldn’t get out alive,” you admitted with sad voice, but it was downright true.
“You’re pregnant, [Y/N]” she said, like it was something, which could immediately improve your well-being and quality of life. You felt like throwing up.
“Yeah. I’m pregnant with the child I don’t want, with a man I’ve never met, who forced himself on me and made my life more miserable than it already was. I should probably send him a card or something because, guess what, I’ve never considered that my life is going to be more crappy than it already was after my parents’ death.”
When you ended the sentence and no one said anything, you just sighed heavily.
“You’ve got the date set?” you asked again, merely curious about this and to change the topic.
“Not yet” she said, her voice sad and full of emotions.
“Then do it. They’re patient, to some extent, but don't tempt fate. I don’t want to attend yet another funeral,” you said bitterly, trying not to think at all.
“How can you be so calm about all of this?” Bella snapped suddenly, making you shift uncomfortably on bed.
“And how you can be so calm? How was this your fucking plan from the very beginning? Once again, I try to understand you, while not understanding you at all” you snapped too, tired of any games. Before she could answer, you continued:
“I’m not coming back. I wanted to ask you if you could go to my house and get some things, I can make you a list if it’s going to be easier.”
You thought telling her this right away would be better than if she wasn’t aware for weeks or months.
“What?! Why aren’t you coming back?” she asked with raised voice. You wanted to shout and scream but you didn’t. It was too much for one day.
“Because I’ve got nothing to come back to. You’re going to be a vampire anyway, so I’ll see you in some time. I’m selling the house and I want to leave the past exactly where it belongs” you explained, trying not to yell. The hormone fluctuations didn't make it easy for you at all.
Another silence. You were tired of all of this.
“Can you do this for me, Bella? Because if you can’t, I’m sure…”
She didn’t let you finish.
“Of course I’ll do it for you. Can we talk tomorrow about the details?” she asked, her voice calmed a bit.
“Yeah, sure. It’s well after midnight here anyway, so I should probably go to sleep. I’ve got doctor’s appointment tomorrow in the afternoon” you said, trying to sound casually. Last thing you needed now was to argue about anything with Bella.
“Okay, so, call me tomorrow?” she asked. “And be safe.”
“You too, Bells. Take care. I love you, sis” you said, trying to stop the forthcoming tears.
“I love you too, [Y/N].”
Long after this phone call, you couldn’t get yourself to sleep. You tried bath this time, but it was mostly useless. At least, you were clean. First time after the rape, you decided to touch your belly on purpose. It began to curve gently, and, apart from that, you still felt pain and pressure in your breasts. You put on a nightdress and went to bed, this time actually trying to get some sleep. You also tried not to think too much about what the future would bring.
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fivelakesinwriting · 3 years
Note
Hey I saw this tik tok i’m out in season three how Rafe should get a gf and they fall in love really fast and when she comes to visit him he’s dragging a body in his room and she’s like hyperventilating but then when he tells her she should leave after sweet talking her she asks how she can help and they realize how deeply in love they are and I just Think that’s such a great storyline and maybe you could do something with it Idk.
I love you for thinking of me. Thank you so much. I hope this does the idea justice.. Please let me know what you think if you have a moment! xoxo
Author's Notes: Rafe found himself a girl, but how far will she go for him? Please read the warnings and proceed with caution :)
Warnings: All of them? MURDER, Mentions of violence, Swearing, Sexual references - sexual innuendos, not fanon Rafe (it hurt, but was fun), - Obx 2 spoilers (like the tiniest one? maybe?)
Requested? YES. Requests for OBX are OPEN!
*My work is not to be transferred, copied, translated or reposted to any other sites without my permission. Please see my masterlist for all other works and warnings. Thank you! xoxo
They had not been together for very long, but the time they had been together had been particularly intense. Rafe Cameron wasn't someone who loved with half of his heart. He was someone who loved with all of it, his entire being was put forth when he loved someone. It was do or die when it came to her, and he expected the same of his lover.
It was quiet throughout the halls of Tannyhill that night. Even the incessant ping of Wheezie's phone notifications had seemed to have stopped. She laid in Rafe's bed, curled up in the blankets that smelled like him no matter how many times he had her rolling in them.
She sat up in his bed, alarmed when he wasn't beside her. He was always beside her. He had kissed the back of her neck, told her he loved her more than anything and fallen asleep within almost moments.
"Rafe?" She called out into the darkness of his bedroom, her hand pressed to his cold pillow.
She turned her body and lowered her feet to the almost icy hardwood floor, her toes curling before she placed her feet firmly on the ground. She grabbed his sweater from the edge of the bed and pulled it over her body as she shuffled through his room and out the door, squinting against the unwanted light of the hallway.
"Baby?" She called softly down the hall, her feet light on the floor as she followed the sounds of grunts and a voice.
She followed the noises out to the front foyer, gently opening the french doors, and walking out into the crisp Autumn night to see Rafe pacing the length of his car with his hands in his hair.
"Rafe, what are you doing out here? It's freezing." She asked as she pulled his sweater around her body tightly, her knees pressed together to keep her warmth.
"Princess, hey. Go inside, alright? I'll be right there." Rafe replied, pinching the bridge of his nose quickly before he reached out to grab her hips in an attempt to turn her towards the house.
"Rafe, what's going on? Your hands are like ice. Stop!" She yelled as she pushed his hands off of her to turn back around and face him. His eyes were wide, and wild as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other.
"Listen, it's nothing you need to worry about right now. Just go inside, go back to sleep. I'll be in soon." Rafe breathed out, heavy, from the bottom of his lungs as he ran his fingers under his nose.
"Baby, come with me. I'm cold without you in that big bed, and it's freezing out here. You only have a t-shirt on." She shivered, her arms wrapped around her body as she looked him up and down while he paced the driveway still.
Rafe turned on his heel, taking a large step towards her so he stood directly in front of her. He pulled her sweater from around her body, so it laid unzipped on her shoulders. He placed his hands on her bare hips and pulled her close against him so she wasn't completely exposed to the neighbours.
"I got...I got some shit I gotta handle before I can come back to bed, princess. Just got get warm, okay? Stay like this for me?" Rafe asked as he curled his fingers into her backside, his eyes averted to her bare chest pressed against him.
Rafe pressed a soft kiss to her temple, letting out a heavy breath through his nostrils as his fingertips held onto her lower back to keep her close against him for another few seconds.
"Can I help?" The question was soft, as she rested her chin on his strong chest and looked up at him.
"No. I can't get your hands dirty with this." Rafe replied firmly, shaking his head as he began to chew on his thumbnail.
"Baby, I want to help you. I love you." She stated softly, and her words were a shot to his system.
"Go open the gate to the yard and start the boat - the power boat. Don't look in the bed of the truck, and I mean it. Once you've started the boat go back inside and wait for me." Rafe ordered as he reached into his pocket and pulled out the small ring that held the keys to the boats on the Cameron's docks. He pressed the keys into the palm of her hand and gave her a stern look. He wasn't playing around.
"Okay, baby." She nodded as she held the keys tightly in her fist and made her way through the wet grass towards the gate, bare footed.
As she pressed up on her toes to unlock the gate to the backyard, leading towards the dock, she dared to look back and saw as Rafe struggled with a long, rolled up blanket in the back of his truck. Her breath stuck in her chest, but she continued to do what he asked and unlatched the gate and left it wide open for him, scurrying as fast as her numb legs would take her towards the dock where the power-boat sat.
Her cold, aching fingers fumbled with the key ring as she tried to find the correct one to turned on the power boat. She had never needed it before because Rafe had always started the boat for her, or already had it running. She squinted in the darkness at the keys, running her fingers over their teeth hoping to jog her memory. She huffed with frustration, she couldn't find it, and stomped her way off the dock back towards Rafe.
"Rafe, I don't know what one it is. Can you show me?" She sighed as she walked up behind him, startling him.
"Shit!" Rafe yelled his hands holding the rolled up blanket in the bed of the truck, sliding it halfway out, only to drop it with a nasty, heavy thud on the asphalt driveway.
"I told you to start the fucking boat." Rafe growled as he crouched down in front of the blanket, his hands pulling at his hair.
"You didn't show me what key it was." She whispered, taking a few cautious steps towards him. She knelt on the pavement beside him, a hand on his back. His back was sweaty, but he was shivering.
"Don't! Don't!" Rafe yelled as he reached for her hand, her fingertips softly pulling back the top of the blanket at his feet.
He wasn't quick enough. Despite his grip on her wrist, she pulled the blanket back to reveal a bludgeoned face she did not recognize. She gasped, her breath stuck in her throat so harshly she choked. She fell onto her backside as she looked from the face in the blanket to Rafe.
"I told you not to look in the truck." Rafe grumbled as he pulled at his hair, then began to chew on his thumbnail again.
"Baby, who the fuck is that?" She whispered as the tears cascaded down her face. This had to be a nightmare. An extremely lucid nightmare.
"Doesn't matter who he is. Dad needed my help, and I took care of it." Rafe replied, his eyes heavy as he looked from the man in the blanket to his petrified girlfriend.
"Rafe, did you - "
"Yes. I killed him, and now you're gonna leave me I guess. Call the cops. Your friends were right, hm? Rafe Cameron's a murderer. Rafe Cameron's fucking crazy. A psycho." Rafe rambled his middle and index finger jabbing at his temples, his eyes narrowed at her.
There was a silence between them, only Rafe's heavy breathing to be heard as he waited for her answer. It wasn't a rhetorical question. He wanted to know if she was going to leave him. He stared his girl down with intensity as she sat on the pavement still, her eyes full of tears as she looked from him to the body half out of the truck.
She switched her position, sitting up on her knees and crawled over to him slowly. Rafe watched her every move, his eyes on her chest as she moved towards him. He reached for her and put his hand in her hair, pulling her face close to his.
"Are you going to leave me now?" Rafe asked once more, his fingers tangled in her hair as he sat on his own knees to be closer to her height.
"Why didn't you just tell me? I would have helped you." She replied as she pressed her hands to his strong chest, her nose rubbing against his.
"Dispose of a body?" Rafe grinned as he licked his lips.
"I would do anything for you, Rafe. I love you." She breathed out as she surged forward and pressed her lips to his.
Rafe groaned into her mouth, his hands gripping at her hips to pull her against him. His heart raced in his chest when he realized she still had nothing but his sweater on.
"I love you, too. So much." Rafe panted as he reluctantly pulled his lips from hers, wrapping an arm around her waist and settling a hand on her backside to keep her close.
He reached to the ground where she had dropped the key ring, picked it up by the correct key and held it up. Their fingertips brushed together as he passed her the key to the power- boat.
"Start the boat. Do only that, please. Then go inside and get warm in the shower. I won't be long, I promise." Rafe breathed out between quick pecks on the lips.
"Okay. Come back to me, Rafe. I'll take care of you." She whispered her hands on his face as she gave him one last firm kiss on the lips, then took off running through the back gate towards the dock.
Rafe touched his lips, a soft smile playing at their corners before he stood up once more. He looked down at the body in the blanket and realized he would have to start over again from another angle. He cursed under his breath, turned on the spot and wondered why he didn't just feed this fucker to the gators.
Why didn't he just..
"Princess. Cut the engine. We're going for a ride." Rafe called as he stood at the open gate to the yard.
Please let me know what you think if you have a moment! Thank you so much! xoxo
Requests for OBX are OPEN!!!
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hes-writer · 3 years
Text
All Too Well
Summary: right person, wrong time
Warning: sweet fluff and angst
Word Count: 4519 words
A/N: listen to ‘All Too Well’ by Taylor Swift first as there are some references throughout the fic. I also added time stamps as this occurs over the course of one year. I’m sorry if it’s confused—I tried my best to make it as coherent as possible ❤️
also, covid doesn’t exist in this au!
‘~~~’ = flashback, ‘—‘ = cut scene
November 2020
Y/N scrambled through the many articles of clothing sprawled in her drawer. The fabrics mingling with each other into a giant mess. It didn’t even include the pile of clothes sitting on the mattress and dripping on the floor.
That was the thing with Y/N. She had a habit of keeping things she didn’t need. She wasn’t a hoarder—although, Y/N did keep more things in favour of their sentimental value. It was her thing.
The fact that she could cradle a t-shirt in her palms and tell someone exactly what happened on a day that moulded the story of that specific shirt was her skill. Y/N liked to think that you could tell a lot about a person on what kind of clothes they wore—whether they were seeking affection or isolating, but not lonely.
In fact, her clothes didn’t just hold meaning for herself—it catered pieces of places she went to wearing the outfit. The things she thought of while adorning it, the emotions that she felt as it covered or—barely—shielded her skin. It was especially important to her to remember the people she spent it with.
Like that oversized, knee-length coat hung near the back of her closet. Y/N barely wore it now but seeing it beneath the splayed doors of the wardrobe, she could see flashes in her head about the last time she had worn it.
The way the pea coat flowed behind her as she twirled in a gentle circle, twisting the fabric slightly and catching tiny drops of littered snow. Y/N could picture the bulbous hat she wore on her head. A tiny pompom weighing every which way with the direction of her head. Her hands were in warm mittens that rendered her fingerless. The snow boots on her feet were crunching with every step of the crisp white snow beneath her feet.
It was truly a winter wonderland when the white weather sprinkled down on her—on them.
Y/N could just about feel the same large grin replicating her face when she snapped out her memory. The ghost of the hung overcoat literally hunted her as it rested in the shadows of her closet.
Y/N blinked twice, slouching her shoulders as she stayed frozen on her knees. The carpet wasn’t doing much to protect her taut skin, but she was in search of something and intended to find it. Except, she couldn’t find it anywhere.
She was sure that there was absolutely no way that she could lose it. It was a loud patterned scarf that frayed at the edges. It was, quite possibly, the ugliest design Y/N had laid her eyes upon. Though, a certain someone had reassured her that she looked beautiful regardless. Besides, the air was way too chilly to think about fashion choices that day.
~~~
December 2019
“Why don’t you pose for me, love?” Harry suggested, holding his phone tightly in one hand. That same hand was pulled free of the warm confines of his leather gloves as he insisted on capturing a few photos of his girl.
“You got it, mister,” Y/N replied, bending down to ball a glob of snow in her mitten-covered hand. She could just barely feel the iciness radiating off the protective layer. “Mind if I add some props?”
She lifted her hand, a raised brow quirking up her knit beanie.
Harry chuckles, “Go right ahead,”
He tilted his phone, ignoring the way his fingers lost feeling at the fingertips in favour of watching the woman of his dreams throw the patch of snow in the air. He captured the picture, admiring the way her back looked. Y/N really was beautiful from all angles. It was kind of counterintuitive, really, since it was snowing after all. But Harry was way too enamoured to question the questionable actions of his lover.
Besides, the gleaming smile on her face was enough to wipe his mind clean of anything other than her.
“Great! Why don’t you turn around?”
The woman looked over her shoulder was a subtle roll of her eyes, “No way,”
“C’mon, love. ‘S not even tha’ ugly,” Harry urged, commenting about the scarf wrapped around her neck.
She scoffed, “The fact that you have to reassure me is proof that it is ugly,”
Y/N played with the thin ends of the fabric, smiling to herself as she heard Harry groan loudly behind her. They were staying at Gemma’s house for the holidays and Y/N had purchased the first scarf she had seen at the store. She had nearly forgotten it if it weren’t for Harry calling her the night before to ensure that she would be warm during their stay. Not only was it cold, but the chilliness was just a tad too crisp to leave the cozy home without some sort of neck protection.
So, here she was dressed all cute from head-to-toe except her shoulders. It was a bit stupid to care so much about an ugly scarf design but Y/N guessed it had something to do with wanting everything to be perfect.
“I don’t think it’s ugly,” Harry quipped, sounding much closer than he had before. “‘Think it’s really nice. Especially the cutie who’s wearing it. Mind if I borrow it some time?”
Y/N couldn’t help the appearance of her love-struck eyes, smiling again when she felt his bundled arms snaked around her waist. Harry was warm, as usual, and he was sturdy as a rock both literally and metaphorically. Standing still in the snow gave her a bit of a shiver but having Harry’s body close was a breath of relief.
He cradled her between his arms, resting his own scarf-covered chin on her shoulder. Y/N knew that he must’ve been bending at the knees to reach that height. She clutched his naked hand between her mittens, directing it to a pocket in the confines of her coat to keep warm.
“Are you talking about me or the scarf?”
“How about both? Make it a two-for-one deal, yeah?” Harry’s voice was a bit hazy.
He felt as though he was captivated in a trance, watching the snowflakes rest gently on the slope of Y/N’s lashes. Her eyes glancing at their joined, mittened and gloved, hands.
She sighed, “Why not?”
Harry gave a silent cheer, leaning little ways into peck her cold cheek with his lips.
“Alright, now why don’t ya’ twirl for me, Y/N?” He instructed, taking cautious steps back in the snow.
“Like this?”
Harry nodded, thumbing the red button on his phone to press ‘record’. He watched as Y/N gracefully spun in a circle. Her pea coat flailed just at knee-level. Her boots squelched the starch white snow.
She did a full 360 before fully facing him with a bright grin. Harry couldn’t be sure how much his heart could take. He switched the setting to capture a photo.
“Exactly like that,”
He wanted to remember this.
~~~
Upon realization that Y/N would not get hold of that specific scarf—at least not for a while—because it was at Gemma’s home miles away from her, Y/N forced herself to clean up the mess she had made. Maybe it was the sudden strike of sensitivity coursing through her but Y/N felt much more emotional than she did before.
Perhaps it was the match-strike ignition of burning memories that flickered through her brain because once she started; she couldn’t stop.
It started with the frosty memory of twirling in the deep snow. Then, it was the flashback of driving from the grocery store to pick up ingredients before heading back to Gemma’s.
Y/N couldn’t deny the butterflies she felt playing that particular memory back because it was one of the moments that cemented a deep-rooted emotion in her.
The feeling of being beautiful—captivating, charming and alluring that Harry failed to notice the red traffic light switching to a reflective green. (‘Oi! Eyes on the road’)
She could still see the blush on his pale skin, realizing that he had been caught staring. And, by the way, the car behind them honked when Harry failed to move through the intersection. (‘Sorry, got distracted’).
And Y/N didn’t want to say anything but she could feel his tiny glances over her when Harry thought that she wasn’t paying attention.
———
November 2020
It has been nearly a year now.
Only a few more weeks until the dreaded date looped around to a full year passing. This time, Harry wasn’t around to celebrate the festivities with her and that ugly scarf was an article that Y/N had desperately missed. Ironically.
It would be just under a year when Harry had taken Y/N to his childhood home—now Gemma’s house as Anne had moved to a smaller place. It was where he excitedly showed her his room—the posters on his walls. The comics he used to read and the CD’s he used to listen to piled on his desk.
~~~
December 2019
“Quite an improvement,” Y/N commented, sitting on the edge of his twin-sized bed. She was referring to his King-sized bed from when she had slept over a couple of times.
“I’d say,” Harry agreed. The wood creaked under his weight as he sat beside her.
They both stared at the wall in front of them, feeling a sense of intimacy as Harry shared the remnants of his life to her.
The day continued when Anne had called the both of them down for hot cocoa, paired with a striped red, green and white candy cane dipped in the mug.
This was the part that hurt Y/N the most. It was almost too painful to remember—to reminisce because it was proof that the couple were so close to making a future together.
It didn’t happen, though.
Despite Anne and Gemma’s stories about a once upon a time, dorky Harry in his glasses (‘He still is’)—his family couldn’t stop referencing Y/N as his future.
“Hope your kids don’t take after his naked habit”
“Maybe your garden will have wild roses”
“Reckon you guys will get a small home?”
It made Y/N’s cheeks heat up. His family already thought of her as part of their family. And one sneaky look at Harry ensured her that Anne and Gemma weren’t the only ones thinking of their future because Harry caught her gaze long enough to give her the answer she was subconsciously searching for.
And when salutations had to be said, Harry and Y/N said goodbye to Gemma and Anne as they were to return to their respective London homes.
It was also the day that Harry had asked Y/N to move in with him.
——
It was exciting, to say the least. Moving in with your significant other was a big step in any relationship. The fact that Harry was a world-renowned superstar almost disappeared from Y/N’s mind because even though his home was a million times larger than her tiny flat—it immediately felt like home.
Harry wasn’t one to dwell too much on changes. In fact, he often referred to it as a sign that things were moving forward. There was no use being stuck in the same place when the universe had so much to offer. So, he was quite glad when Y/N made herself comfortable in his—their—home.
She managed to make the large place feel cozy. The decorations and tiny trinkets she had placed all over the house were really just pieces of her heart sprinkled in a home in which they’d build a life together. He would look at a pastel-coloured tea kettle and question when he had gotten the appliance before realizing that it was Y/N’s. Harry would use the tea kettle to boil water instead of using his Keurig.
___
Their schedules wouldn’t always line up. But Harry and Y/N were too loved-up to care how little time they spent with each other. There was no use in complaining when they could use that time to appreciate each other—for sticking around. For being the same when things moved too fast. For being the rock that both of them needed when times get rough.
Harry’s late studio sessions ran through the early morning when Y/N would be cooped up in their shared bedroom. Fast asleep and hugging his scented pillow. Sometimes he would find her bundled with a blanket on the living room couch. The soft glow of the television highlighting Y/N’s beautiful features. One look at her was enough to release Harry of the tension he felt on his joints and shoulders.
Y/N’s night shifts were the same too. She would return to a quiet house because Harry had fallen asleep. Despite his attempts to stay awake, he was not a night owl at all. Not only to stay up past ten in the evening unless he was out to do work. She had reassured him countless times that she would be okay on the drive home and that he should sleep when his body grew tired.
Harry tried to stay awake. He really did. And Y/N could tell because as soon as she crawls to her side of the bed, Harry’s right arm immediately pats the cold sheets for her as if sensing that she was nearby. He would mumble a quiet murmur of her name, “Y/N? Tha’ you?”
He would receive no verbal response, nor would Harry be able to see his love in the dark of the night even because Y/N hadn’t bothered to switch her bedside lamp on. Y/N was aware of Harry’s sensitivity to light, especially if he was in the dark for a long period of time. Despite that, Harry would hum in satisfaction when Y/N’s body would etch perfectly against his in a silent greeting that yes it is her.
They would fall fast asleep cuddled into one another.
If they managed to stay awake or if sleep failed to come, Y/N and Harry would trudge down the stairs for a midnight snack, squealing loudly as one playfully chased the other down the staircase.
Sometimes it was Y/N walking in on Harry munching on a few biscuits (‘Not such a health nut anymore, huh?’). Sometimes it was Harry catching Y/N making a fruit salad—an array of fruits and vegetables laying on the counter (‘I take credit for this’, he would say.)
But it would always end the same.
With both of them dancing goofily with each other. The refrigerator light was the only source of illumination because neither would be bothered to turn on an actual light. Not when the fridge served as a light source and a container of a variety of edible choices.
One night would end with Y/N slow dancing in Harry’s arms. His hands-on her waist, grazing her skin when her pyjamas too lifted. Their bodies would rest against each other like a stacked jigsaw. Harry’s chin on her head, hers on his broad shoulder. A pair of their hands clasped tightly on one another while the other found purchase with their bodies.
Harry would hum a light tune or sing softly so that they can find their rhythm. They would sway across the kitchen—slowly—crying out in pain and laughter when one would bump their hip on the marble counter. Y/N would listen to his heartbeat thrumming beneath his chest and even though she could only see a bit of him—it was enough.
One night would end with Y/N and Harry goofily flailing their limbs every which way. Boisterous laughter filling the room as Harry practically wheezed at Y/N’s admittance of performing a mean Dougie.
And with the fridge light catching the bits of it, Harry would slap his palm on the counter to catch himself before his knees gave out below him (‘There’s jus’ no way you’re that good’). She proved him wrong.
Neither of them knew when it would be the last time these moments occurred. Until they stopped completely.
——
It was the small changes that brought them closer together. And what would inevitably drive them apart.
It was the fact that even though the couple didn’t see each other much, they still cherished the time they had together because that was enough.
The relationship was built off of mutual trust, respect and honesty. Time was essential but Harry and Y/N didn’t necessarily need a lot of it. They just needed the reassurance of ‘always’. That no matter what happens, however far away they were from each other physically, however, the time they spent apart—that Harry would always come back to her and Y/N would always run home to him.
——
It was late-August when they broke up.
Leading up to it, Y/N had been promoted at her workplace and Harry was no longer spending late nights at the studio. He was sleeping in the studio instead of coming home.
Y/N was understanding. He was on a time-crunch since his second album was due to be released at the end of that year. She wanted to be as supportive as she had always been—if not, more. Harry didn’t need more pressure from her—his partner—who was supposed to be his solid ground in a cracking centre.
It was okay. It was okay. It was okay.
It was fine that they were spending less time than they normally would—not that it was a lot in the first place.
He was still trying. She was still trying. Messages, video calls—hell, even emails were there. The rare times when their schedule would actually coincide were spent peacefully sleeping on the bed. It wasn’t much, but it was enough.
Then, Y/N got promoted. More responsibilities. Training her colleagues. Interviewing assistants. Typing detailed emails. Double-checking spreadsheets.
At the same time that Harry was being pulled left and right to make decision after decision. Finalizing next year’s tour dates. Promos. TV shows. Modelling campaigns. Photoshoots. Interviews.
And like any other, answering later turned into a message left on ‘read’. A missed call manifested into an unopened voicemail. A desperate-measures email was only one of the many in each others’ inbox.
Harry wanted Y/N to come with him on tour the following year but it was a stretch waiting to be snapped.
She couldn’t.
Y/N was starting to build her life, building her career and she wasn’t going to give that up for him just yet. He could go on tour and she could visit when time allows. They knew that. Harry would buy her a ticket and she would be off to see him—when she can.
~~~~
June 2020
“I can’t go. You know that,” Y/N sighed, rubbing a palm over her face.
Harry leaned his shoulder against the doorframe of the bathroom. “I knew that. ‘Was worth a try though,”
They shared a comforting smile with each other. A hint of reassurance when uneasiness prevailed. There was something about the shift from spring to summer that simmered in their chests.
“Promise you’ll come to visit?”
“Of course,”
~~~
London may be Harry and Y/N’s home but LA was calling for him. Hence, why he spent the summer on the other side of the world. On another continent, across the pond, as some people might say.
It’s just a few months. He’ll be back before you know it, Y/N thought.
Harry will be home for the holidays and they would drive up north to spend it with Anne and Gemma as they did the previous year. The year when Y/N had met them for the first time and despite that, attained their approval to build a future with Harry.
Just a few months and then Harry will be back with her. The same Harry who will gently loop an ugly scarf around her neck. Teasing her about its hideousness before reassuring her that it was ‘as stunning as the woman wearing it’. . .or something. Harry always complimented her.
Yet, Harry never came home a few weeks shy before their scheduled road trip as they had planned. And Y/N did not visit him like she had promised to do.
Though, none of them blamed the other because they were too busy with their own lives to keep up with each other. What once was a loving and caring relationship was not a liability pushed to the back burner.
One might say that Harry and Y/N’s love was a case of wrong timing. They were perfect for each other—but just not now.
Because Y/N had a lot of things going for her and expanding her career. Harry was becoming more and more popular and successful by the minute. It wasn’t like they meant to ignore each other or be oblivious that they were still very much in a relationship with each other. Both Harry and Y/N just had a lot on their plate to even think twice about a relationship.
It wasn’t anybody’s fault—really. Even though their phone call says otherwise.
——-
August 2020
“Y-you what? Y/N, love,” Harry spoke through the phone.
Y/N’s breath hitched at the sound of the beloved nickname. It had been a while since she had heard it.
“I want to break up,” She repeated.
“Why?”
The woman picked at her fingernails, distracting herself from going back to the spreadsheet in front of her. She was in the middle of a break up yet her body urged to continue working.
“What do you mean why?” Y/N sighed exasperatedly. “It’s been months since we’ve seen each other, Harry. You said you’ll be home before Christmas so we can see Anne and Gemma but—,”
“We don’t have to see them! Y’can fly out here and spend it with me,”
“You know, I can’t,”
Upon letting those slip past her lips, Y/N was starting to question if Harry had disconnected because of the eeriness over the phone.
And as he said that night months ago with the alteration of Y/N’s word, “‘Know y’cant. You promised, though.”
Harry’s voice cracked and Y/N wondered if he was gnawing on his lip like he usually would when tears overflowed the ducts of his eyes. In the distance, Y/N heard a door close shut and she wondered if he had been working—the same as her—before she had decided to call and he had decided to answer.
A knife pierced into Y/N’s chest, guilt seeping in her veins as she recalled the words she had uttered to him. A promise that she would visit if he gave her the ticket. But that was then and this is now.
She wasn’t the head of her department then. Y/N had a lot more responsibilities now and she couldn’t just up and leave whenever she wanted to.
“And you promised to come back. Did you?”
He didn’t.
“Look, can we talk about this later? ‘M in the middle of recording and—“
“When are you not?” Y/N cut him off absentmindedly, splitting her attention on the Excel sheet in front of her.
“Excuse me?” Harry quipped, faintly hearing the clacks of a keyboard. “I know I work a lot but y’do too. Barely even respond to my texts anymo’”
“Says the one who doesn’t answer my calls,” Y/N scoffed, rolling her eyes.
And there it was again. The defeat of silence that proved no matter how much they retaliated against one another—neither of them would win because both of them were at fault.
“I was busy,”
“I am, too,”
“Y/N—“
“What?”
“I-I don’t want to lose you. . .”
The ache in Y/N’s chest grew tenfold. Her fingers momentarily paused over the keys of her laptop board. There was nothing to lose. Not when they’ve already thrown it away.
“I don’t want to either, H. But don’t you think breaking up is better than waiting for something that will never happen?”
“What won’t?” He asked, genuinely curious.
Y/N pushed her chair back, staring at the view of the city from her office.
“Us. Our future. It won’t happen because you’re busy and I’m busy. There’s no right time for us to start, Harry.”
“Who says there has to be a right time, huh?”
“Says, everybody! How are we supposed to build our relationship further when there is no relationship to work on?”
The waves of emotion came crashing down. For months, Y/N had suppressed the feeling of loneliness inside of her. She missed Harry so badly that it hurt her to admit so she went with the temporary bliss of balling it up until it became too much.
“We just need time, Y/N. We don’t need to do it at the right time. Y’know that,” Harry whispered, wishing so badly that this conversation didn’t take place over the phone where he was currently locked in a bathroom stall.
He continued, “You were there, weren’t you? Barely saw you but y’were there. You know how I feel about you and I know you feel about me. We jus’ need time,”
Time.
Because time is when Harry and Y/N  would slow dance in the kitchen at god-knows-hour of the morning.
Because time is when Harry and Y/N blissfully spent their time in the cold, watching her throw the bundle of snow in the air as if it was in slow-motion.
Because time is when Harry would look at Y/N and swear that it has stopped because nothing else mattered except her.
“You know it, you know it,” Harry gulped, breath hitching over the phone. Was he crying?
“All too well,” Y/N responded underneath her breath. She knew that he was right—that all they needed was a chance to reconnect and rekindle the flame put out by distance.
She hated how familiar every memory was to her. She hated how easily she was brought back to the moment it all happened with just the breath of his whisper.
There was no denying the emotion she felt wearing his hoodie and red and black plaid pyjamas at three in the morning. The affection she received wearing those pieces of clothing from the man who owned them. Her sock feet glided against the cold floor. Everything came flashing back to Y/N and it hurt because there was no way she could grant his wish.
“You’re asking for too much, Harry. I-I can’t give you that. You can’t give me—us—that,”
“W-what are you saying, love?” He whimpered, clutching the device in his hand as a last resort to hold onto something that was drifting away.
He knew that she was right. Y/N couldn’t give him that and he certainly couldn’t either.
“We can’t be together. At least, not now. We’re not the same anymore. We want the same things but we’re headed on different paths,”
“But we’ll meet again, won’t we?” Harry’s hoarse voice exemplified that he was—indeed—been crying. And Y/N’s wet cheeks were proof that she was as well.
“Always,”
_____
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perriewinklenerdie · 3 years
Text
Festival (Ethan Ramsey x MC)
Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x Claire Herondale
Word count: 1,2 k
Summary: Ethan takes Claire out for a date.
Warnings: None
A/N: Guess who’s back. Back again. Consider this my ‘I’m back, my dudes’ fic. I dipped my toes back into writing, hence the length of this fic. Please enjoy this fluff fest.
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„Ethan Ramsey eating cotton candy? Never thought I’d see that day coming.” Claire grinned, teasing her boyfriend slightly. His hand, that was moving a piece of fluffy sugar to his mouth, froze halfway and his eyes shifted towards her. Something like a hint of a blush appeared on his neck, making her giggle even more.
“Childhood nostalgia, you could say.” Ethan shrugged, then finally took a bite of his treat. The corners of Claire’s eyes crinkled a tiny bit, her voice suspiciously innocent.
“God forbid anyone taking a photo. Tobias would never let you live that down if he knew.”
“Tobias finds the most ridiculous things to ‘not let me live down’, so you’re right, cotton candy would not be an exception. Good thing no one’s around to take a pho- “ his words get cut at the sound of the photo being taken. When he looks over at his girlfriend again, she’s holding up her phone, still taking photos. “Claire?”
“Oops.” She bit her lip, hiding her phone into her purse. Ethan took a step towards her, a smirk growing on his face. Claire tilted her head, making a show of looking sideways as though she was looking for a way to run. An act that would be impossible to pull off in her condition – a twisted ankle doesn’t make it easy to walk, let alone run.
While she was weighing her options, Ethan looped his arm around her waist, bringing their bodies closer. His lips hovered over hers, barely brushing as they talked.
“You think you’re cute when you do that, don’t you?” he hummed, looking intensely at her lips before moving to her eyes. Claire shrugged.
“No.” she pecked his lips a few times, shortly and playfully, making him laugh. “I know I am.”
“You’re so attractive when you’re confident.” Ethan muttered, tightening his hold on her, lifting her slightly to let her rest her injured foot on his. Her teeth sunk into her lower lip again and his eyes followed the movement instantly. “Even more when you do that.”
“Yeah? That’s sexy to you?” She threw her arms over his shoulders, fingers tangling into the hair on the back of his head. He nodded firmly, schooling his features into a look of certainty.
“Incredibly.”
She guided him into a real kiss. It was short-lived – their surrounding incredibly sufficient in reminding them that they were not alone. A man bumped into Ethan, throwing the pair off balance a bit. He opened his mouth to call out after the man, but Claire silenced him with a finger pressed to his mouth.
“Maybe a festival isn’t the best place for a hot make out session, huh?” she whispered, taking a cautious step backwards. He held onto her shoulder, stabilizing her.
“I’ll make sure to pick it back up as soon as I get you alone. Now.” he turned around and bent his knees a little. “Your carriage awaits, ma’am.”
“Thank you, kind sir.” She played along, both of them laughing. He helped her climb onto his back, his grip secure on her thighs.
That’s the way Claire’s been traveling for the whole day, hospital included. She considered crutches, but after tripping twice and not being able to do her work efficiently enough, she decided to take it easy and take a day off. Fortunately for her, she had an in with the Chief – who, coincidentally, decided to take a day off as well, carrying her out of the hospital around noon.
The idea for a date night out appeared in Ethan’s head when he saw festival stands being set up on their way home. Before they both knew it, they were dressed and thrown into the middle of a crowd, bright lights and music surrounding them. If anyone asked Ethan three years ago if he’d willingly go to a festival, he would laugh in their face and call them delusional. Here he was, however, carrying his injured girlfriend on his back as she pointed towards various attractions they just had to try.
“How is that possible that you’ve never tried this before?” she wondered as he sat her down in the seat attached to the game booth. They were about to shoot some fake guns in hopes of knocking down targets. Well, Ethan was – he saw Claire’s eyes lighting up playfully at the sight of the plush bear dressed like a doctor and he decided to win it for her.
All would be well if it wasn’t for the fact that Ethan was spectacularly bad at shooting targets – he wasn’t tragically bad, but two out of twelve targets he managed to hit weren’t nearly enough to win them the prize. That’s when Claire leaned out of her seat, taking the gun from him.
“Pay the nice lady for another game. It’s my turn.” She winked, lining up her shot.
“You know how to shoot?” he asked while passing the bill to the lady in the corner of the booth. His question was answered when she hit the first target. Dead center. Then the second one, and every other after that, until all the targets were lying flat.
“Take that, you stupid duck!” Claire exclaimed triumphally, placing the gun back into its holder. When she turned towards Ethan, she was met with his wide eyes. “Does that answer your question, babe?”
“How- “
“Don’t tell me you didn’t think Ryan Herondale would teach his children how to shoot a gun. We are spoiled rich, after all.” She grinned, then turned towards the lady. “We’ll take the doctor teddy bear, please.”
The teddy didn’t remain in her hands for long – she passed it to Ethan the moment they were in some distance from the booth.
“Here. Never hurts to practice CPR some more.” She tried not to laugh too much, but she couldn’t help herself as he looked at her with betrayal in his eyes.
“Oh, so now you believe me it was CPR?”
“I have to.” she sighed, then hopped around him until she was facing his back. Climbing onto the tips of her toes, she whispered into his ear. “If I didn’t, it would mean that you’ll be kissing someone other than me. And we can’t have that.” She jumped onto his back, turning his head with her hands so she could press her lips to his cheek. “Now, let’s go get some food so we can get home and practice kissing, huh?”
“You don’t have to tell me twice.” He mused, squeezing her thighs. “As soon as I get you home, you’ll be saying my name- “ he growled, prompting Claire to cover his mouth with her hand and a breathless ‘Ethan Ramsey!’ near his ear. “Yes, exactly like that.” He added. Her laughter trailed behind them as they went into the direction of their next destination.
Notes
We all know he was kissing that bear.
Anyway, if you made it this far, thank you. Thank you all for still being here, I dipped from tumblr basically right after OH3 ended (funny how my uni waited until OH finale to murder me. How considerate of them.) but I was here in the background. 
To all people that sent me asks - I will try to answer them (no matter how outdated my answers are going to be)
Have a nice day/evening/night, and see you in the next one <3
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frostedfaves · 3 years
Text
Repercussions (15 - Alt Ending)
Masterlist
Pairing: dark!Natasha Romanoff x dark!Wanda Maximoff x fem!reader
Summary: Natasha and Wanda refuse to leave without you.
Warnings: dark themes, gun mentions, threatened suicide, manipulation
A/N: never expected to write this despite it being highly requested, but with me being stuck with Particular Taste and in the mood to write some angst, I ended up doing it. I’m still down to write angst, so I may do another Sad Song Sunday, but I’ll let you know.
Original part 15
-
“You worried us, printsessa, disappearing like that,” Natasha addresses you in a chilling tone as the two of them stop a few feet away from you. “And we’ll deal with that later, after you tell Wesley to come out so we can punish him first.”
“He’s not here,” you tell her calmly. “His only job was to bring me here--”
“And take the tracker out of your leg, which we will be putting back,” Wanda interjects with a stern expression. “Now you can either come with us to the car willingly or we’ll drag you.”
“I won’t be doing either of those things.” You stand slowly, lifting the gun to your temple as you go. “Your only choices are to leave me here and go back to the way your lives were before I came in, or you can let me die. If you take me again, I’ll just fight you every day until you wish you’d killed me yourself. No matter how you manipulate my mind, my true self will never love someone who wants to control me. I’ll tell you how much I hate you for ruining my life every second I’m able, and I’ll kill myself the moment I get the chance to do so.”
You notice the glassy look in their eyes as they face each other, and you knew they were having a silent conversation in their minds. Seconds feel like minutes as they seem to discuss their options, eventually turning back to face you. Wanda is fully crying now, and Natasha seems to be physically holding back her own emotional break.
“Please don’t do this, printsessa,” Wanda chokes out with a cautious step forward. “We just want you to come home.”
“What’s home to you is a prison to me.”
“But it didn’t always feel like prison, right? Remember those days we’d bake together, and watch your favorite movies all day?”
“Or that time we took you to Coney Island for a week straight because you couldn’t get enough of it?” Natasha added and you sighed.
“You don’t get it, do you? I was obsessed with those Coney Island trips because it was the only time you didn’t make me feel like a kid that would get lost if I wandered too far! The only time I felt like an actual human instead of a fucking meat puppet!”
“The moment we decided to trust you a little, you abandoned us!” Natasha yells so loudly that Wanda even flinches. “We’re in Nebraska right now because you couldn’t stand being a good girl and waiting for us to get home!”
“You left me with a fucking babysitter, Natasha! It doesn’t matter that it was someone I actually wanted around. You installed cameras and tried to bug Wesley and me. You put a tracker in my leg! If you trusted me, why did you go through so much to make sure I couldn’t leave? You can’t say that you love me and treat me like you don’t.”
“I’m so sorry.” Wanda’s voice comes out in a whisper as she steps forward again, and you watch her eyes for any hints of red. “I never meant to make you feel so cornered, but you have to understand that I’m an Avenger. I’ve seen what enemies are out there and at one point I was one, so I just wanted to do what I could to make sure you never ended up in the wrong hands.”
“She’s right,” Natasha chimes in, clearing her throat as a single tear slips down her cheek. “I know what lengths some people will go to hurt the loved ones of the other side because I used to do that exact thing. I’d let the world end before I let any harm come to either of you, and I guess I went a little overboard with protecting you because Wanda has a bit of an advantage.”
“I know I’ll never understand what it’s like to do what you do, and to live with your pasts…” You take a deep breath as you feel a lump forming in your throat, and the hand holding the gun to your head begins to shake. “But I do know what love is supposed to feel like, and it’s not this. I shouldn’t have to worry about setting you off because I didn’t agree with something, or waking up from a week-long mind trance because you didn’t want me to fight back.”
“How about we start over?” Natasha offers, glancing at Wanda and turning back to you once she nods. “No trackers, restraints, babysitters or manipulation. Just us getting to know you and vice versa, and hopefully rebuilding the love you once felt for us.”
“Please.” Wanda gives a pointed look toward the gun still pressed against your temple. “I know how upsetting this already must be for you, so please. Let us help you make it better. Let us fix this and hopefully have an even better relationship in the future.”
“We love you, and we agree that we should’ve gone about this in a healthier way. Please give us the chance to make this right.”
“And you promise there will be no more tricks?” you ask, and Wanda nods as two more tears make an appearance.
“Cross my heart--”
“--and hope to die.”
You stand there for what feels like minutes, your gaze bouncing between the two women in front of you, hoping to gauge their level of sincerity on expressions alone. As much as you didn’t trust them because of everything they’d done before, you’d be lying if you said there wasn’t a part of you that missed those happier moments, and wouldn’t mind starting over to create more. Perhaps it was worth a shot, if they were truly serious about not messing with your mind anymore.
“Okay,” you finally answer, and you notice the relief appear on their faces. “If you’re serious about starting over and doing this the right way, I’ll give this a chance. But you’re going to have to wait a long time before I start to trust you.”
Wanda grins at the two of you as Natasha approaches you cautiously, and you place the gun on the chair behind you before allowing her to pull you into a hug that you melt into surprisingly fast. Your other girlfriend joins the embrace, and her ecstatic giggle is the last thing you hear before everything goes dark.
-
“Y/N/N...hey wake up!”
You jump up suddenly, nearly bumping into the person standing above you. After a few moments of blinking to adjust to the bright sunlight, you turn your head to see your cousin sitting on the edge of the bed.
“Wesley?!” you gasp as he grins in acknowledgement. “What are you doing here and why do you look like shit?”
“You know, I’m gonna let that go because it’s your wedding day, but I’ll get you back later.”
“Wait, my what?”
“Jesus, did you hit your head or something?”
“Feels like it,” you grumble as your eyes close for a moment.
“Bachelorette party must’ve been crazy.”
“Yeah, I guess so.” You sigh and face him again as your eyes open. “Did you have a crazy night too or did you come here all bruised up?”
“I got into a pretty bad accident a little while ago,” he answers after a few moments of silence. “I guess I didn’t tell you about it because I didn’t want you to worry, but I probably should’ve said something when I got the invitation in the mail. Which reminds me, it’s time for you to get ready.”
He stands up slowly with the help of a cane beside him and limps out of the room, and a chill washes over you as the door closes behind him. You move to run your hands over your face and pause as you feel a cool metal bump against your nose, and you lower your hands to see a ring on the appropriate finger.
Of course it made sense considering--according to Wesley--you were getting married today, and the ring is exactly what you would want, but it just doesn’t make sense how you got here. As you move onto the bathroom and begin showering, you get hit with flashes of moments with Natasha and Wanda that include the moment they proposed, but it feels a bit more like watching a movie than a memory should. Still, there’s a warm feeling in your chest as you come to terms with the fact that you’re marrying two people that have been so good to you since your relationship was formed.
“Come in!” you respond to a knock on your door as you slip on a robe, smiling as Pepper enters the room holding what seemed to be a dry cleaner’s bag and a small jewelry box.
“Hey there, just bringing your dress.” She drapes it carefully over the end of the bed and faces you while holding the box out to you. “And your almost wives wanted you to wear this.”
You take the object from her and lift the top off, gasping as a necklace is revealed. It consists of a simple silver chain, but the pendant has a spider with a prominent red gem that almost seems to glow as the sunlight makes contact with it.
“Need some help?”
You nod with an appreciative smile as you hand her the necklace and turn around, feeling your smile widen as the cool pendant touches your warm skin. Your fingers run over the spider while you wait for Pepper to secure the chain around your neck, and you face her when she pulls away.
“Thank you. Wait!” you call out as she turns to leave. “I just have to ask...Do you think going through with this wedding is a smart idea?”
“Well, I haven’t been around the three of you much, but I’ve seen the way Natasha and Wanda react whenever you’re mentioned. It’s equivalent to someone finding out they won the lottery, honestly. I also know how much time and effort they put into making this house as safe as possible to put their minds at ease about you while they’re away on missions. In my opinion, I think you’re in good hands here, but I’m also not there for the little things. I’d recommend just listening to what your heart tells you.”
You thank her before she leaves the room, letting her words echo in your mind for a bit before moving to get ready for the ceremony. The dress, you quickly discover, is an exact replica of one you’d seen in a magazine that you loved so much you saved it in a scrapbook for years. How you’d managed to track it down, you had no idea, but the questioning thoughts seemed to fade away a bit once you realized how amazing it felt to be finally wearing it.
“How do you feel?” Wesley asks once you reach the bottom of the stairs, and you loop your arm through his free one as he leads you to the back yard.
“If I’m being honest, I’m super nervous about all this. Everything’s felt like a weird coma dream since the moment I opened my eyes.”
“Hey, you’re about to spend the rest of your life with Natasha and Wanda,” he reminds you quietly, and your gaze shifts away from his joyous expression to the small crowd that begins to stand upon your arrival and Natasha and Wanda smiling at you from the end of the flowery path. 
“It’s what you’ve always wanted.”
-
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