#i think i was going to revise it so that it was less rambling & long

[silverwhittlingknife]

the reason why nu52 Dick is so simultaneously messy and yet boring is because they don't let him be bitchy enough whilst simultaneously making him a little bitch

sdfsdfdsfs I don't totally understand what this means and yet I feel like I agree with the spirit, anon <3

Outsiders 21 - preboot Dick yelling at Bruce my beloved

Yeah, caveat that there's plenty of nu52 Dick stuff that I haven't read and I don't think it's all bad, but also... man, he is not for me. As far I'm concerned, the main good thing that came out of n52/Rebirth is some setups for sad!Dick fanfic. And yeah, "Dick is not bitchy enough" is actually a pretty good summary of my complaints sdfdsfs

The thing is, nu52 Dick has some similarities to preboot Tim, in that he'll sometimes be insincerely fake-cheerful even when actually upset, plus he periodically seems uncomfortable with direct confrontation so instead he lies to avoid confrontation. And mmm I mean, I like these qualities in preboot Tim, so it's not like I think these are terrible traits to have!!

BUT :

1) Preboot Tim has no authority. But preboot Dick does, and it's frustrating to take it away from him in nu52.

There's some post-2011 panel where Dick lies to Batman and is cheery about it, a la Tim bragging to his friends about lying to Batman in Teen Titans, and I had to stare at it for ages trying to figure out why it felt like such a record scratch moment to me.

But it's because there is a huge difference between a presumably independent superhero lying to another superhero vs. a sidekick and his sidekick friends secretly joyriding in Batman's car.

Like, Tim lies to authority figures more-or-less constantly, because he doesn't want to be told what to do, but also because - importantly!! - those authority figures reasonably assume they have authority over him that he has to evade. Of course he tries to avoid direct confrontation with the JLA / Batman / Red Tornado / Starfire - they're not his equals and a direct confrontation would end badly!

Whereas Nightwing lying to Batman feels like putting him in a subordinate position in a way that preboot Dick never is. Preboot Dick always tells Batman off to his face, because preboot Dick cares about being equals and refuses to accept being subordinate. He doesn't sneak around behind Bruce's back - he fights back! If he doesn't agree with Bruce's position, he tries to argue Bruce into his own. He'll do stuff without asking Bruce's permission, but he won't conceal it; he'll make a point of making sure Bruce knows what he did and also that he isn't sorry.

2) Preboot Tim's lying / tendency to be fake with people is a consistent personality trait that's also consistently problematized. nu52 Dick's characterization is wildly all over the map.

In preboot, Tim is a liar and obsessive compartmentalizer, which is both a strength (disguises, sneaking around authority) and a problem (loved ones who are hurt by it). He's self-aware about his lies, periodically resolves to lie less, and generally fails at it.

Tim's consistent enough that you can track this character trait in all his relationships: he lies to his dad. He lies to Batman. He lies to his girlfriends. He refuses to tell Babs his real name for ages for basically no reason. He stalks Dick and then tries to run away from him in his origin story and then tries to avoid telling Dick his name. And this evasiveness consistently causes him problems!! Dick's suspicious of him. Ariana's suspicious of him. His dad is suspicious of him. Young Justice and Steph get annoyed with his secret-keeping. Young Justice want him to take off the mask. Steph wants to know his real name. When she finds out and calls him by his real name, he has a panic attack and literally runs away. When upset, he insists he's fine and fake-smiles at people. In Teen Titans, when Tim's busy being fake-cheerful and Conner is startled to see him there right after his dad died, Tim gets upset and angry at Conner and demands that he not tell anyone about Jack. Fine, Conner says, I guess it's another secret. In AC 3, he's lying to Conner again and Conner accuses him of having an insincere "Starfire voice," which is a hilarious callback to Tim being fake-agreeable-yet-secretly-bitchy at Kory when he first meets her. I feel like I get that the lying is a Tim Character Trait which is sometimes endearing and sometimes less so and which all the people who love him are gonna have different feelings about.

By contrast, nu52 Dick spends a ton of time lying but it's hard for me to model his characterization in the same way? He's sometimes fake and ... sometimes that's totally cool and sometimes people punch him! also, does it say something about him? ehhhhh maybe? no? who can say!! At the end of nu52 Nightwing, he doesn't want to go undercover and Bruce beats him up, but then in Grayson he seems totally on board with his mission and willing to actively lie to everyone, and then in Batman and Robin Eternal he carries out a whole secret mission behind nuTim's back because he thinks nuTim is maybe a spy and is scared (?) of confronting him directly, but also he's so sloppy about it that he gets followed and the bad guys find nuTim's parents. Oopsie! He represents The Heart and is super-caring but also somewhat ditzy with a tendency to leap before he looks, and also he's very very very goodlooking and Grayson would really like you to know that.

You can try to make sense of this character's internal motivations and I have read various enjoyable fanfics that do, but in the comics I don't feel like he's clearly characterized.

3) Dick should be a convincing team leader

I know I kind of talked about this earlier but it bothers me SO MUCH that I have to talk about it again dsfdsfds

Preboot Dick is a natural leader: he seizes control of the feuding personalities in the Fab Five; he does the same thing in the NTT; he stands up to Bruce. He can overrule strong personalities like Pantha and Roy; he can hold his ground against the Outsiders. He doesn't back down and he doesn't quit. He's got instinctive authority, and he's a forceful and aggressive enough leader that he can lead teams even when his teammates are feuding or difficult or arguing with each other. Sometimes he's a little too forceful and it backfires on him, but for the most part, it works!

By contrast, nu52 Dick often comes off as kinda... hapless? He's definitely not a force to be reckoned with.

Like, just to take one small example, in post-Crisis's Red Robin 14, Tim and Damian are fighting and Dick wants them to cut it out, so he throws a batarang at Tim's staff and snaps at him, and the fight stops immediately. By contrast, in nu52's Batman and Robin 10, Tim and Damian are arguing and Dick wants them to cut it out, but nuDick is incapable of confronting anyone over anything so he just sighs about it, passive-aggressive and ineffectual.

And "ineffectual" is too often the vibe I get from n52 Dick in general. You put that man with Pantha, and he'll probably be bemused, but he won't be able to make Pantha do anything, and he wouldn't be able to make Danny Chase do anything, and he can't or won't stand up to Bruce so he has to lie the way Tim does, and he would never have a fistfight with Roy over the proper way to lead a team.

And in a lot of ways this makes sense, because n52 Dick isn't a team leader, because they've deleted the Titans. He's just a guy. He's nice, I guess.

But even though he gets all kinds of excellent woobie plotlines that I'd normally enjoy (an evil organization is stalking him personally! his dad is beating him up and forcing him into becoming a spy! he's losing his memory!) his personality is usually so far off from the character I like that I struggle to get invested.

Because the thing is, Dick's leadership instincts aren't incidental to what I like about him. They're all wrapped up in his outsized sense of personal responsibility and instinctive belief that if anything is going wrong anywhere near him then it is his obligation to handle it and if anything goes wrong then it's his fault if he was involved and also his fault if he wasn't involved and actually if you have ever gotten within five feet of him and unrelatedly something bad happened to you then it's probably his fault and he FAILED. This belief gives Dick a lot of control issues and makes him bitchy sometimes and is not great for his mental health, but it's also very endearing and an outgrowth of how much Dick cares!

Anyway, re:bitchiness, I have similar feelings about various choices in Batgirls and in Tim Drake: Robin and in current Nightwing; like, I don't think any of these stories are bad ipso facto, I don't begrudge anyone who likes them, and I certainly enjoy fluffy fanfic sometimes - I don't always want the same things in transformative fandom that I want in canon.

But in comics, I often want the characters to have a bit of edge, to be cranky and difficult and just... y'know, clearly the kind of people who would choose to be vigilantes. I want them to care enough to be bitchy about it. And I often feel like I'm missing that, post-2011.

#long post #going through my old drafts and this one is SO OLD but i still stand by it #i think i was going to revise it so that it was less rambling & long #but i'm too lazy so here you are #dick grayson #tim drake #it's more about dick but i talked about tim enough i think it makes sense to tag him #I do think that the pendulum in e.g. Waid's Teen Titans is slowly swinging back to the kind of Dick characterization that I like #so this is happily not as true as it was back whenever I started writing the answer to this ask #but it's still my feelings about tt's nightwing so. sdfdsfdsfs

[beautifulpersonpeach]

Lol.

Yeah… the more news that comes out just confirms more of what I thought. This unnamed character who moves from HYBE to ADOR, and mere weeks later, HYBE gets a ‘tip-off’ and all the incriminating documents are in his work diaries where he narrates things MHJ has supposedly said, including that she believes that Bang establishing BTS or groups with the same cache as BTS, was him copying her…. Everything that’s found in his documents is almost clinically incendiary lmao. Like, weapons-grade rage bait. Partly because of how bizarre it is. And the sinker - they tie it to Min Heejin supposedly wanting more money. MHJ has meanwhile released another, stronger statement refuting the allegations about trying to stage a management takeover, or artists contract leaks etc.

Of course, the discourse about this is going to develop predictably, especially after the mention of BTS and other groups MHJ supposedly says copied her.

This has all the makings of one thing and only one thing, to me. It doesn’t change my opinion about Bang PD but it does make me revise my view on Min Heejin, she’s a bit more naive than I assumed her to be. I feel a bit sorry for her, because she’s been got. Again. It’s similar to the ig situation that also started with ‘a gift’ her ‘friend from SM’ gave her to congratulate her on launching ADOR - a gift that ended up being the most damning controversy that almost sunk the group. A controversy where the primary demand was for her to leave NewJeans and HYBE. Now, a ‘right-hand man’ transfers from HQ to her team and it’s his uncorroborated narrations that match what’s in the ‘tip-off’… the demands are the same.

I like MHJ, but I’ve always watched her with caution because in Korea, no woman makes it to the c-suite without making a shit tonne of enemies. Imagine it to be triple the amount a regular working class man makes on his way up the ladder, because that kind of status in Korea is something you’re either born into, or born close to. It’s rare for working class men to work their way up and even more rare for women. In fact, I’d say it’s an aberration.

I see all the flack MHJ gets for being a narcissistic bitch, wanting to constantly assert ownership of her ideas, wanting to be widely associated with her successful projects, etc. I see people irritated by her arrogance, but full disclosure, I like her for it. For several reasons, but one reason is that in her environment, the default is to let your male superiors take credit for your work. It happens in corporate environments all over the world, but in Korea it’s a mentality entrenched in the DNA. Pushing against that earns you enemies every time you speak, by default. But I suspect that’s how she worked her way up from being a graphic designer to having a seat on the board of directors at SM Entertainment before leaving when they wouldn’t give her more autonomy. So, in my eyes, she’s got spunk. But also, now I see she’s clumsy.

Oftentimes with corporate drama, there’s no point using moral language because it’s just business. You either pitched the best deal or you didn’t. You either fucked up or you didn’t. It’s cold numbers and rationality - business. But… there are some cases where it’s not really about the business, cases where it’s personal.

I don’t have meaningful insider information, I’m reading the press releases and ‘leaks’ along with everyone else, so I can’t be certain and that’s why I’m talking in this long-winded ramble without coming right out to say exactly what I think. What I’ll say though is that this is less about NewJeans and more about Min Heejin. And she’s the first person who should’ve understood that and taken necessary precautions.

Clearly, it doesn’t look like she has, and in that sense she has no one but herself to blame. She’s being stupid, in fact I’d say delusional in some ways, but I guess some things can’t be helped. NewJeans isn’t exactly fucked, but it’s clear that yet again, they are collateral damage. And it’s a shame.

#ador #min heejin #bang pd #NewJeans #Hybe #kpop

[toomuchracket]

I’m sorry but flatemate matty would be a G when it comes to rainy day cuddles 🫠 putting on a slower vinyl, keeping the volume low so you can hear the rain hitting the windows.. curling up on the couch, all tangled up together, talking barely above a whisper for hours because there’s no need to be louder when you’re that close.. i’m gonna huuuurl i need to baby the grown man.

STOP IT WAS RAINING SO HORRIBLY HERE EARLIER I NEED HIM but yeah. it's your first free/fresh sunday (no work for you to finish, no hangovers from being out the night before for either of you), and you and matty had made plans to go on a massive walk around the nearest park, then maybe do sunday dinner somewhere before coming home and having an early night ready for the week ahead. and you were so excited about it - like yeah, you live with the man and see him every day, but the itinerary for the day felt vaguely couple-y, and you were looking forward to being delusional and pretending matty was actually your boyfriend the whole time (obviously, he was feeling the same). but sunday morning rolls around and you're awoken to torrential rain battering off the window and you're FUMING. and i think matty would just burst into the room (because he knows you're alone) and throw himself dramatically face-down onto your bed like "i can't fucking believe our plans for a lovely day are RUINED this is awful", and you just reach over to play with his hair comfortingly like "i know, babe, i was looking forward to it. what can we do in here instead?" and matty FIGHTS the urge to be like "in your bed? oh, i've been thinking about this one for a while. i have a list prepared" lol. instead, he rolls over to look at you and shyly starts rambling ideas like "i mean, i got a couple of new records if you wanted to just chill on the couch and listen to them? i haven't got any weed, though, so we'd need to be sober. which is less vibey, but still. i get that you might not want to do that and its chill but i-" before you cut him off like "no, that sounds lovely. a cuppa, some music, snuggling up together... yeah, i want that" and smile so sweetly that matty's heart cracks (and he can't think about the "i want that" directly after you mentioning snuggling or he will go insane). and matty smiles back (which hurts YOUR heart) and says "alright, darlin'. now, breakfast - d'you want breakfast in bed, or in the kitchen?", and you're like "hmm... kitchen, i want to shower first" and you stretch cutely and sit up, kissing matty's head before padding off to the bathroom. and he's literally so down bad that he watches you leave with the most lovestruck expression, before scootching up onto your pillows and just taking in your scent and atmosphere for a min, then getting up himself.

anyway, later on, you get around to the revised weekend plans. tea is made, the first record is on and playing softly (i assume it's some sort of acoustic folk/indie thing), you're in matty's hoodie and leggings, he's in a pair of your sweatpants and a long-sleeved tee, and you settle on the couch under a couple of blankets. the rain has settled slightly, so it's just pattering off the windowframes now, and you've lit a scented candle for a bit of peaceful ambience - it's a very calm, very cosy environment. and you and matty are quiet for the first few songs, before you break the silence to whisper how much you like the album so far, and he looks at you contentedly and agrees; that starts a whole quiet discussion, which starts off being about music and then ends up somewhere totally different (as the best chats do!). matty reluctantly gets up to flip the record onto the b-side, but beams when he turns back round to see your arms opened and you telling him to get in; he obliges, because why wouldn't he take any opportunity to be so close to you, slotting himself between your legs (which are propped up on the couch), leaning his head on your chest and his arm over your stomach as is your normal cuddling position. and your whispered conversation continues until matty, just so content and cosy, falls asleep on you - i think you probably smile lovingly at him and whisper "oh, i love you", knowing he can't hear you, and play with his hair and lightly stroke his cheek until you doze off too <3

#mads answers asks #mads muses #matty asks #fluff asks #flatmate!matty

[goldencherryhazz]

KISS IN THE KITCHEN

An: so in celebration of the fact that there is less then a week until I start my final exams I have a short fic for you and all the people starting or doing exam right now, good luck bby’s ! Also 700+ followers guys, are you kidding me!! Ily all 🥰

This includes a lotta fluffy fluff because that is what my heart craves! (I’m so stressed rn 😭) anyways hope you enjoy! Not proofread ofc, notes and reblogs would be much appreciated!

Stress and worry was the only thing encapsulating you mind at this moment in time, your final exams were just over a week away and the all you could seem to do was study for them.

Revising from book to book your folder full of notes and mind maps was almost bulging, mirroring what you felt your head was doing at that moment.

‘Baby, you alright in there’ Harry chirps as he peeks his head round the door, having not been home for very long after being at the studio for a good portion of the day.

‘Yeah I’m fine’ you clearly don’t tell him the truth.

‘Dont lie to me’ he can see the distress in your face and how your eyes are slightly red as you try to hold back tears from how stressed you were. Harry hated the sight infront of him, not you of course, but the fact that a stupid exam had you in bits.

‘I just don’t want to do bad, people have said this exam can be really hard and they wished they’d studied more, so thats what I thought I’d do but nothings going in’ you ramble as you let the first tear fall which was soon followed by some more.

‘Oh m’baby, c’mere’ he rushes to scoop you up from where you were sat, pulling you into his chest where you start to sob and Harry feels his heart pang as he tries to not get emotional himself, he just really didn’t like seeing you this way.

‘It’s okay darling, I’m here, s’all going to be alright I promise’ he tries to speak comfort to you.

After a few minutes he moves to sit down on the chair you were once sat on and has you straddling his lap as he was scared that eventually your legs would give way. ‘It’s okay baby, let it all out’ he presses a kiss into your hair as he soothingly rubs circles into your back. It’s when you start to hyperventilate slightly that tears his heart the most ‘gotta breath for me baby, in through you nose and out through your mouth’ and when you carry on he physically has to pull your face out of the crook of his neck and have you face him.

‘In and out darling, gotta breath for me’ he demonstrates and you eventually start to follow.

‘Good girl’ he praises when you regulate your breathing, the only sound now emitting from you were tiny whimpers as you start to calm down, your head falls limp in the hold of his hands, truly showing how tired you were and harry takes the chance to wipe the water that had gathered on your now tear stained cheeks.

‘Sorry, this is soo silly’

‘No it’s not, the only thing that is silly is that you are putting to much pressure on yourself darling’

‘I just don’t want to disappoint anyone’

‘Who are you going to disappoint? he asks he asked in bewilderment.

‘I don’t know, you…my parents’ you try and think of some more but you realise that you couldn’t.

‘You are definitely not going to disappoint me, you are the most intelligent and most beautiful girl I have ever laid my eyes on, and for your parents, I know they would be saying the exact same thing baby’

‘I just wanna do well’ you sniffle into his shoulder.

‘You are gonna do soo good baby, I know it. You just gotta rest now, no point overloading and stressing yourself out’

‘I know, but my exams are a week away, need to do some more’

‘Not a chance darling, think you should take a break cause I hate seeing you like this, I really do’ he pouts.

‘Maybe could just have the rest of tonight off’

‘And tomorrow’ Harry pipes up.

‘But-‘ you try to protest but Harry is having none of it.

‘Nope, no buts baby, you need to recharge your batteries’ he didn’t want to take the decision off of you but judging by your state you definitely needed a break to relax yourself, and he knew that you wouldn’t refrain yourself from overworking.

‘Okay’ you agree dropping your head in defeat onto his shoulder, knowing that he was right and that you needed to take care of yourself a bit more than you did.

‘That’s my good girl, now let me take care of you’ you face his mmm and smile softly.

‘C’mere petal, got some mascara on your cheeks’ Harry starts the thumb off the black streaks, his eyes peering at you in concentration.

‘I love you’ you can’t help but burst out when he’d finished, feeling like crying all over again at how tentative he was.

‘I love you too baby…I’m gonna go run you a bath, does that sound good?’ He whispers as if he knew that you had a headache at that moment.

‘That sounds amazing H’ you practically moan because you back had been aching from being leant over you desk for such a long time.

‘C’mon then’ he taps you thighs signalling you to get up from his lap.

‘Oh no, my legs seem to have stopped working’ you try to get up but flop back onto him.

‘Okay’ he swiftly scoops you as he stands, making sure that you don’t fall from his grip, the act making you giggle into his shoulder, and to be honest you felt like it was the first time you had properly laughed in days. Harry couldn’t help but smile at your sweet giggles, much preferring it when you were your usual bubbly state.

He carried you up the stairs without a care in the world, as if this were a normal situation between the two of you and now that you think about it, it probably was. The amount of times you had fallen asleep halfway through a film was ridiculous, but Harry couldn’t bring himself to wake you up from your peaceful state so always opted to carry your sleeping figure.

Once you both reach the bathroom he plops you down on the toilet seat, whilst he goes to turn the tap on for the bath, adding a copious amount of lavender bubbles and even a bath bomb, knowing the scent had its calming attributes which is definitely what you needed.

‘Are you getting in with me?’ You ask sweetly from you set on the closed toilet seat.

‘I would love to baby, but I need to go and make us some food?’

You go to protest and try to convince him to stay before he cuts you off abruptly ‘have you eaten today?’ He counters.

‘I had a slice of toast and a banana’ you list the very few items of food you had eaten, realising he did indeed have a point.

‘Gotta stop doing this to yourself petal, s’not good, don’t want you getting sick’ he says his eyebrows furrowing.

‘I’m sorry’

‘Its okay baby, I will go make something now and it’ll be ready for when you come down’ he says swirling his hand in the tub once more making sure that the water was the perfect temperature before shutting the taps off.

‘ What if I get lonely’ you pout.

‘Liste to me on the speaker, you usually do when I’m not here most of the time’ you smile at that because it was indeed true, Harry had caught you many times dancing and singing along to his music when he got home from work.

‘Okay, thankyou bub, kissy?’ You request and he instantly complies mumbling a small ‘your welcome’ between kisses.

‘If you need me shout me okay, and remember relax’ Harry emphisises and before you get chance to respond he is trotting down stairs, so that he could start dinner preparations and you can’t help but chuckle at you sweet boyfriend.

————

You spend about 25 minutes in the bath before you start to miss Harry, even though he was just downstairs. So you get out and dry your hair a bit with a towel before slipping on one of Harry shirts and a pair of shorts before you are rushing downstairs again, feeling a lot more relaxed compared to when you were first carried upstairs.

You find harry at the hob mixing a pot of spaghetti, and when you see the bowl of grated cheese ready to sprinkle on top of it you walk up to him before wrapping your arms around his figure and cuddling into his back.

‘Hiya baby, what are you doing back there?’

‘Lovin’ on you, because you made me my comfort food because your the bestest’ you ramble out.

‘What can I say baby, there isn’t anyone else that compares to me’ he says cheekily.

‘Your ego is way too big’ you tell him and he doesn’t argue because he knew it was true.

You hear Harry put the spoon down on the counter, before he is twisting in the cocoon of you arms to face you.

‘Dance with me baby’ he takes you by your hand, placing the other on your waist, and you love how random he is because he doesn’t even give you the chance to agree or disagree, not that you ever would, before he is swaying you both side to side, your dancing perfectly soundtracked by the soft jazz playing from the kitchen speaker.

Before long you have you arms looped around the back of his neck, you faces inches away from the other as you looked lovingly into each other’s eyes, big smiles gracing you faces as you dance rhythmically in the space of you kitchen.

‘Thankyou for tonight H, really don’t know what I would do without you, probably would have sent myself insane by now.’ You say sincerely, truly feeling like you didn’t deserve the man stood in front of you.

‘Don’t have to thank me darling, that’s why I’m here and besides I wouldn’t ever let you go on the way you were, care about you too much.’ He presses a kiss to your forehead, still swaying you back and forth.

‘Still got a headache baby?’

‘I do but it doesn’t hurt that much now’

‘Do you want some pain killers?’

‘Not just yet, think I know something else that would make me feel better’

‘And what would that be darling’ he smiles down at you.

You don’t give him and answer as you press your lips to his, he immediately kisses you back. One of his hands sneak up to catch the side of your face in his large palm to deepen the kiss, you noses bumping into the other looking as though you were trying to give each other Eskimo kisses at the same time, giddy smiles on your faces that were still barely centimetres away from the other when you gave yourself a little breather. Harry would catch you lips in his randomly, not being able to resist your soft lips in this close proximity.

In that moment you realise that the best remedy to all of you exam stress was right infront of you, dancing and kissing your boyfriend giddily in the kitchen whilst listening to soft jazz made your mind feel at rest, and you didn’t plan on leaving Harry side for the entire night, but Harry truly wouldn’t have it any other way.

#im stressed but writing this made me happy again #harry styles #harry styles fluff #harrystylesfluffy #harry styles imagine #harry styles one shot #harry styles x reader #harry styles blurb #harry styles smut #harry styles fluff imagine #harrystylesisgolden #fine line #harryshouse #hs1 #hs3 #harry smut #harry fluff #harry styles fic rec #harry styles fics #harry fic #harry styles fanfic #but daddy i love him #proud of harry #love on tour #boyfriend!harry #harry styles cute #hshq #hslot #harries #love harrystyles

[jessamine-rose]

✿ Herbarium – Author’s Note ✿

Read Herbarium here!! ღゝ◡╹)ノ⚘ 

Read Fairytale here!! Σ੧(❛□❛✿)

Aahhh so first of all?? Thank you so much for all of the comments and reblogs!! I was blown away by the amount of positive feedback for my writing, and I hope that more people will enjoy reading Herbarium (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)

This post is just me rambling about details in the fic, my characterization of Yandere! Capitano and his darling, and bonus content which didn’t make it into the final draft. If you want to know about the creative details and symbolism……..here you go  (◞ꈍ∇ꈍ)っ

“You had long given up on wishes and happy endings. After what you believed to be the end of your tragic story, you resigned yourself to a shadow of a life with only your books and flowers to keep you company…until the vestiges of Windblume brought forth a mysterious stranger and a new ending for your dark fairytale.” (AO3 Summary)

✿ Introduction ✿

♡ Apologies for tagging you two again, but I simply can’t talk about Capitano without mentioning @bye-bye-sunbird and @yandere-romanticaa!! I absolutely adore their characterizations of Capitano due to the Beauty and the Beast vibes and themes of devotion, chivalry, monstrosity/ knighthood, etc. Now would also be a good time to credit the posts which inspired Capitano and Damsel’s first meeting and the beginning scene of ix. whopperflower <3

♡ From the start, I wanted Herbarium to have dark fairytale vibes and a twisted happy ending, hence having to churn out 10k words in order to logically explain Damsel’s behavior and backstory. (In reality, I just prefer victorious yanderes and docile darlings lol) I’m quite happy with how the ending turned out, because I’d like to believe that I successfully framed Damsel’s new life as Capitano’s darling and her descent into Stockholm Syndrome as a “happy ending.”

♡ It’s just………..dwdkndekwedneks the juxtaposition of Damsel finding love, family, and a home in Capitano versus the terrifying reality of her newfound codependency!! If I ever write a side story or short continuation to this fic, I’d like to illustrate her psychological demise from the perspective of either Capitano or another character.

♡ Also, allow me to thank @diodellet​ once again!! Aside from being my main consultant for Genshin lore, she also peer-reviewed the fic and offered great revision notes!! You can thank her for suggesting the nightmare montages and spicing up the beginning of ix. whopperflower amongst other scenes.

✿ Characters ✿

♡ Regarding my own characterization of Capitano, I had the most fun writing his dialogue!! His dialogue in the Harbingers trailer is very sophisticated, so I tried to translate that into dignified speech and prose-y statements. For his face, I imagine a mix of these images?? So yeahh I think he would look very impassive with a terrifying gaze and less severe scars (as Hoyoverse will probably make him more “attractive and marketable” for the game)

♡ I headcanon Capitano to be a very patient, protective yandere who utilizes both his physical strength and his intelligence as a military strategist. In addition to reading all of Damsel’s books as a means of psychoanalyzing her, he also controls her hobby/ source of escapism and weaponizes book spoilers lmao. There is a careful balance between how he uses light physical threats to scare Damsel and how he treats her in a gentle manner which portrays him as “better” than the people from her past.

♡ In writing Damsel’s personality, I focused on the comparison and contrast between her and Capitano. While she has peaceful hobbies and an aversion to violence, she is also inexpressive, quiet, and asocial; in that sense, she isn’t so different from Capitano. Her passivity and pessimism are fatal flaws which prevent her from actively seeking help or recovery from her past, which in turn solidifies her “damsel in distress” position as Capitano’s darling :>

♡ Additional notes on Damsel’s backstory!!

♡ My own name and appearance for Damsel

✿ Literary Motifs ✿

♡ Herbarium – Damsel is not the type to nurture flowers or appreciate their natural transcience. Instead, she collects flowers in order to own them completely and permanently preserve their beauty. From the start, I wanted to draw a parallel between this hobby and Capitano’s own treatment of Damsel…....yeahh idk if I was actually able to do that xD

♡ Dark/ subverted fairytales – aahhh I just really love exploring themes of love, delusion, and happy endings within the yandere genre!! It was fun switching between Capitano’s moments as both the monster and the hero in Damsel’s story. In the end, his darling was always going to be a tragic character trapped between choosing a depressing ending or a false happily ever after ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´ω`ﾟ)ﾟ｡

♡ Hades and Persephone – NO BC I WASN’T ORIGINALLY INSPIRED BY THAT MYTH??!! I only included those parallels in the final revision after deciding on the name of Ceres Fames. I wanted to give the character a symbolic name, and one candidate was the Greek/ Roman goddess of hunger and famine. Except that I didn’t like how Limos/ Fames sounded, then I remembered that her opposite is Demeter/ Ceres…….yeah. It was a very wtf coincidence when I later realized the couple’s Hades and Persephone vibes, the fact that Ceres only appears when Capitano is away on missions, and the duality of the goddess Demeter/ Ceres. It also made ix. whopperflower an unintentional subversion of Persephone’s abduction, complete with Ceres’s Delusion being changed from originally Electro to Cryo (❅▽❅)

✿ Flower Symbolism ✿

♡ Idk why I decided to make my life harder by using flowers as section dividers. Anyway, just know that all of these flowers were originally chosen simply because they grow in Teyvat. There is no important symbolism regarding my choice of windwheel asters, cecilia, calla lilies, sweet flowers, or dendrobium. I just found ways to incorporate those flowers in their respective sections.

♡ At this point, I don’t think I need to explain Damsel’s parallels to/ relationship with dandelions. Roses were featured for the white/ red color symbolism, unavailability in Mondstadt, and meanings of secrecy in Genshin lore. (And if Hoyoverse later says that roses can’t grow in Snezhnaya, just assume that Capitano had the rosebush artificially planted for Damsel) Whopperflower is meant to represent Ceres’s deceit.

♡ Mint belongs to the first category but I’m giving the flower its own bullet point for this reason:: After realizing the Hades and Persephone coincidences in the fic, I recalled the Greek myth of Minthe. So mint became a fitting flower for Damsel’s moment of doubt and separation anxiety.

♡ Windblume is supposed to represent Damsel offering a kiss/ herself to Capitano. If I wasn’t able to allude to that properly in the fic, rip now you know. Back when Damsel was an OC in my imagination, she was named after a flower so the Windblume connotation was more obvious.

✿ Deleted Scenes ✿

♡ Post-kidnapping, Damsel is already referred to as Capitano’s wife. In the first draft of vi. rose, there is a scene where Capitano gives her a ring with a flower design. I ended up scrapping that scene later on, but just imagine that they had an off-screen “proposal.” And in response to a comment on AO3, I don’t plan to write a wedding scene in the future.

♡ When I was still figuring out how to incorporate roses in vi. rose, I wrote about Capitano and Damsel visiting a flower shop in Snezhnaya. There was a friendly Dendro shopkeeper who would show Damsel the roses and get threatened by Capitano but yeahhh, it didn’t feel scary enough. It was eventually replaced by the private tour of the woods.

♡ I also thought of Damsel interacting with more Harbingers, specifically Pantalone and Arlecchino. I chose Pantalone because he also experienced hardships in his early life and was denied a Vision by the gods—but unlike her, he actively changed his circumstances and didn’t succumb to melancholy. As for Arlecchino, Damsel would’ve compared the House of the Hearth to the orphanage she grew up in.

✿ My Favorite Scenes ✿

“There is not a single moment when I do not think of you or your safety,” he tells you. He reaches for your hand and intertwines your fingers. “Let these be your words of comfort until I return to you.” (vii. mint)

♡ Watch as I get f*cked over by my own writing. No matter how many times I read this dialogue, I find myself simping and feeling big-brained. If I were to ever commission an artist to draw something for Herbarium, I would definitely choose this scene  Σ>―(〃°ω°〃)♡→

Then there was the Eleventh Harbinger. Capitano had attended an appointment with his fellow Harbingers—a rare gathering, apparently—so you had to wait outside their meeting place. When the door finally opened, Tartaglia was the first to leave.

“Oh? You don’t look like you work here,” he said, walking over to you. The smile didn’t reach his eyes. “Were you listening in on our conversation, little mouse?” (vii. mint)

♡ Not Childe showing up for 0.5 seconds and stealing my heart. This was one of the last scenes to be written and I think it added a nice touch to the final draft. I think Childe would be curious about Capitano’s darling but also smart enough to know his limits. Also, while Damsel’s age is kept ambiguous, I imagine her to be 28-30 years old and therefore older than Childe. That is just a random detail I wanted to mention  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

✿ Capitano x Damsel Playlist ✿

Aka I tried to listen to music during my writing breaks, only to start cursing because the lyrics kept reminding me of Capitano and Damsel. If anyone would like to recommend darker/ yandere songs, be my guest

♡ Lots of Love – Kuzu no Honkai ost

♡ Pearl Tower by Anna Evans golden folks

♡ Sora to Utsuro (空と虚) by sasanomaly

♡ 0 (zero) by LMYK

♡ Your Name by Little Glee Monster

♡ 

That’s all I have to say!! I ended up rambling quite a bit, but I’m truly happy that I was able to finish Herbarium and write a fic which I can be proud of. I hope you all enjoyed Herbarium and this Author’s Note, and may the Capitano agenda gain more followers  ˶ づ ˊ ꒳ ˋ づ ˶

#il capitano #capitano #yandere capitano #yandere capitano x reader #capitano x reader #fatui x reader #yandere fatui harbingers #yandere genshin #genshin x reader #tw: yandere #fem reader #jessamine-writing

[tastylemonbread]

LIKELY INCOHERENT RAMBLINGS ON FICTIONAL GODS IVE CREATED. its a bit much.

[all this has been copy + pasted from discord with some minor revisions]

dude actually. the gods have a natural passive cloaking spell-ish thing on them at all times that blocks most humans from consciously registering them. but anyway this effect doesn't work on animals. where im going with this is that crows are totally aware of real gods

i havent really been updating this server on the design changes to some of the gods. if i can remember em all.....

chaos is now represtented by incomprehensible shambling arms that move in a mesmerizingly smooth manner, but any individual arm/hand appears to move jagged and jittery. its face is one of those creepy white painted smiley theatre masks, and its "neck" is just arms holding the mask

war used to be an armored thing, then i wanted it to be a humanoid robot that looks like a tank. then i decided that war god should actually be a skinny fucker that wears the robot like armor. then i decided no actually these ideas should kiss and be yuri and actually war god is now a big robot tank armor thing that's been worn so long that the being inside has been fused with the mechanical bits. veins and tendons creep along its insides. between the mechanical armor plating, you can see muscle. it bleeds

god of life is void black wearing a white suit, which is like the opposite of death with his white bone and void black clothes. anyway, life never wears a tie, and her blazer is never buttoned up to show she's less tied down by all the red tape of order's institution. oh and also her shirt is fun colorful

[old sketches of life. i forgot to draw her clothes right. i always forget this.]

anyway erm. life and death have rings of the other one's sigils :3

not married

idk its complicated

i think what i may go with is that life thinks theyre already in a relationship but death thinks that he just has this huge unreciprocated crush on her. this too is yuri

have i mentioned that god of fear is a doggy now. black doggy. one of them sleek fighter jet lookin ones. and his face is all scarred and shit. these scars make him look more intimidating but they're just.... scars. signs of abuse and pain. because god of fear is also god of misery and all that stuff [note: nobody actually knows that he's also misery. they're too scared of him (he has this natural aura that makes him fuckign terrifying) to talk with him. hence the crippling isolation and consequential misery]

[note for my tumblr girlies. trying to imvent a god of the sky and stars is kinda fucking hard when you are at all aware of what astronomy is. like. wow. that sure is A LOT OF PLANETS for a single god to have domain over. hrm. maybe i need to rethink this.]

[i rethought it. i have decided that sky and star god only controls how stars are perceived from earth. and also astrology or whatever. yaaayyy ^_^]

[another note about god of war. me making the body fused with the armor conveniently allows me to make a suit of armor that can't actually fit a humanoid thing. i can just say that the humanoid thing is curled up in a ball or whatever. yaaaayyyy :D]

[another note about god of fear. i looked up the dog. its called a doberman]

#txt #writing tag #oc #im supposed to have tags for all my gods but who cares

[nocek]

Hello, do you have a guide to drawing faces? I'm going through an artstyle revision to be more soft around the edges and less sharp and I've always struggled with faces...

oh my... that's a very broad question to ask and hard to give any usefull answer without actually seeing your work. But it's good that you have concrete goals and can pinpoint what exactly you want to change about your work. It's a very professional attitude.

Which is why I may be a bad choice of person to be asked for advice. Because I'm not a professional and I want very much for drawing to stay just my hobby to keep me sane. I never consciously thought about my artstyle beyond maybe making it less manga (but residue it's still there, art teachers were right lol XD). It's about having fun in the process for me.

That's why I can only give you some fun things to try out. Maybe one or two will work for you.

If you want to soften your faces in generally paintery way best way I tried is to gradually unblurr your picture. Like take the most basic round brush with soft edges and make it very big. Turn down the opacity a bit and try to sculpt basic shapes of the face using the main limited pallette colors of your reference. Then use slightly smaller big brush to add bit more details. Then gradually make the brush smaller and smaller. And gradually add new details and colors if necessary.

This actually does wonders because helps you stop being precious about some sketch details because there is no sketch. It helps you stop seeing face as face so you don't draw what you know but what you actually see.

Actually speaking of that. Another great trick is to put your reference upside down. Our brains are lazy and just extrapolate the information and our brains are great at face shapes so it's actually harder to draw them. But if you put them upside down you actually need to focus on proportions of this new unknown shape. It actually does wonders!

When it comes to lineart (because after all this rambling I figured that's most likely why you've written to me, sorry) i have 2 suggestions.

Try to figure out if you draw with only your wrist. It doesn't decide if you draw more in straight or in curved lines (I guess in that department we have opposite problems :D) but it's good idea to try consciously draw using more of your elbow. It works well with bigger canvases and actually taught me to draw really long straight lines (yay architecture, it was useful for that and learning how to do really tough boxes XD) but actually it's about stability which is crucial in doing curved lines too.

On smaller scale try using different media or have fun with new pens. It will help you get out of your used path and is an excuse to raid nearby cheap art store.

I guess many people would recommend doing lineart with brushes. The varying thickness will encourage you to use more round lines and so on buuuuut.... actually I think brushes are very discouraging when you don't have the muscle memory to control them properly. My advice here would be to use felt tip pens actually. They are more springy thus more forgiving. Try the ones that are soft and more spongy than actually felt. Idk how to describe them. If that's something you think may be interesting let me know and I'll try to dig up the ones I used.

Generally let me know if you want more details in certain direction because all above is kind of rambly stream of consciousness answer and idk how usefull it actually is but I prefer to post it that way otherwise I'll get stuck in perfecting the reply limbo >.<

#text post #ask #long post #art tips #idk if usefull and if usefull but hey #i can hope it helps

[lietpolski]

i'd love to hear more about your yugotalia ocs, especially the ones you haven't talked about before! ps: i looove your characterisations of serbia and slovenia, i haven't seen anyone in the fandom capture our ✨Vibe ✨ so well :) sending love from slovenia!!

aaaa first of all thank you soso much!!! it makes me so happy to see someone from slovenia liking how i portray him!! :DD he's my favourite

and i super agree with u on serbia!!! i think he can be grumpy but even then he's the kinda guy to joke about it :,) i see him more as the opposite, struggling to be serious or genuine with his thoughts & emotions!! we have p much the same view of serbs here in greece, the loud & fun little brothers up north and all that, so i wanted to give him that sort of feel :)

i should add that!! ok so i came up with serbia, slovenia & montenegro before having seen any yugotalia content (which is wild because serbia + slovenia are quite similar to the popular fanon!!) but the rest i made after becoming more familiar with yugotalia, so my other ocs are mostly revised versions of those!! a few thoughts on the lot of them:

macedonia - i see her as a sweet person who's also a bit stubborn and clumsy. like, a plain sort of girl (in a good, cozy way if that makes sense!) who likes to just chill in nature! i also see her as the sort of mediator, "can't we all just get along?" pacifist type. she'd rather bake bread for church or go on a walk by the lake than sit there and argue (a rare trait among the rest of these guys haha) she's closest to serbia and has a kinda complicated relationship with bulgaria who i see as a brother to her (in the weird hetalia way which doesn't really reflect healthy human family dynamics)

croatia - a new fave of mine, although i find him THE hardest to portray :,) i think the heavy austrohungarian influence for the grand majority of his life is so interesting!! it might have made him a biiiit... not stuck-up, in the way slovenia can seem at first, but if he doesn't know you well he might default to being polite and impersonal. but once he's comfortable with you i think he's a really fun guy! sporty, loves swimming and good food, he's hard-working but not serious! i think his relationship with slovenia would be really interesting too, because there have been a lot of recent arguments between the two, but slovenians online always seem to call croatians their best friends. he's a bit hard to get close to unless you've known him for a long time too

bosnia & herzegovina - to be honest i still don't know what to do with bosnia :,) not even sure if i think of them as having two representatives for each half (third?) haha, i think it's a cool idea but tbh i don't know as much about bosnia! i think them being the one dude in the balkans who doesn't think sadık is that bad, actually, is fun! and i think of them as a bit less outgoing than serbia & croatia but other than that i just default to the yugotalia versions for now! although for some reason smth about bosnia is giving woman swag to me i could see them as a girl

kosovo - not too many hcs here that arent obvious, but i think it's fun if kosovo is physically the same age as irl kosovo, so 15. does it make sense with the hetalia canon.... no. is it fun to have this irritable balkan teen boy character? yes and i love him :)

thanks for letting me ramble for so long, my hair is almost done bleaching by now :ρ

#also anon & whoever else i always have more slovenia stuff somewhere that i can post! #mostly doodles but i also wrote a serbia/slovenia smutshot like mooonths ago if that's anyone's thing haha #maia talks #ask #talk about macedonia without sounding like a greek nationalist challenge #im not obviously but people assume mad things :')

[steamberrystudio]

10/07/2022 Devlog

Hallo!

I just wanted to write a quick update to let you all know where I am with progress on the next route. It's been a week and I'm pretty tired so I am trying to type this out quickly before my brain dissolves to mush.

So of course Tumblr at the first version because I dared to cut a portion and paste it in a different place. And we cannot have something like EDITS occurring in post text.

Summary:

Finished initial revision of Quill's route

Started second revision (up to Ch 4)

The Ramble:

I have finished drafting it (I think I mentioned that in the last update) and moved into the revision stage.

The first revision involved a lot of structural changes, relocating huge chunks of writing, deleting, changing, rewriting, and creating a lot more new content.

I realised about halfway through that I was definitely going to need to do a round 2 revision to smooth all the changes and new content from the first round. And that's basically what I'm doing now.

I finished up the first revision with the route around 120,000 words (way too long).

One of my goals (I have several) for round 2 is to cut that back to 116,000 words or less. I know 4000 words may not seem like much in the grand scheme of the game, but I am trying to keep all the routes within 10,000 words or so of each other. I also know Quill's route has a lot of lore-oriented exposition because it's exploring a place that is not set up in the common route (like other locations) and isn't set up in any of the other routes either. That means I have to address all the Nysa lore in Quill's route itself. 

Balancing out explaining this weird place with not dumping tons of exposition in is a bit hard. But I'm smoothing out all of that in this round of edits and adding in some banter and funny dialogue.

I think the early chapters probably need the most cleaning up still. Because later chapters are very action oriented, I was able to clean them up pretty well already and will probably just continue to make small polishing improvements through that section. But the early chapters need the most fixing in terms of improving dialogue, motivations, trimming superfluous things, nailing down voice and characterisation, etc.

So yeah, that's where we are.

Sneak Peeks and Previews:

None. Just writing. ;o;

Upcoming Weeks:

Again, I will be focused on getting this revision done this week.

I do expect this revision to go pretty fast since it's not the first pass, but I'm not sure how fast. Once this revision is done, I....have more revisions.

Ha ha. Well, after this it's actually checking for typos and grammar. So I guess upcoming weeks are just editing and polishing. 

#gilded shadows #updates #indie visual novel #amare game #english otome games

[gablehood]

hi, i'm assuming you know more about this than me. okay so there's been some recent "scholarship" i can't tell how reliable that's revising anne boleyn from "just another one of henry's mistresses" to an extremely agile and able political actor possibly only cast out of favor due to a traumatic brain injury making henry increasingly volatile. she had involvement in a major and beloved reform at the time? and perhaps intentionally lead henry to schism due to being a long-term and committed religious radical?

anyway i was wondering if you had any thoughts

Hello!

Tbh despite talking about almost nothing but the Tudor period I'm very much not an expert. I'm not a historian myself and any studying I've done is purely as a hobby and out of interest and also a passion for period drama and historical fiction that I've had since adolescence. So I'm definitely not a font of confirmed knowledge or factual sources, unfortunately!

Buuuut if we're purely going off of my opinion, based on what I've read of other historians and the cases they've put forward, I'd definitely characterize Anne Boleyn as being a very involved political figure in the English Reformation. There were a huge number of important figures at this time working towards protestant reform in England, but I'd say Anne Boleyn's influence was pivotal, with regards to her immediate and intimate proximity to the King allowing her to open him up to ideas as well as to other texts and voices in the movement that he likely would have been less willing to consider. Though, this didn't quite make her a champion of a new, enlightened age for many of her contemporaries, since reform at that time in the early 16th century was extremely unpopular in many parts of the country.

Outside of religious reform, I'd say that rising to the height of queen certainly would suggest Anne possessed a considerable skill at politics-- especially when you consider that politics, at this time, often revolved around the King's will and how best to shape it to your own. Anne was among that small circle of people in the kingdom who had the King's ear, and considering the King had at least a handful of mistresses prior to her, it's telling that she was able to inveigle herself into the role of Queen-- something even Elizabeth Blount, the mother to the King's only living (if illegitimate) son, had not even attempted, nor in fairness to her, likely thought possible. That would suggest to me Anne's influence lay in something more than her role as a mistress (if one can even call her that, since it seems they never actually consummated their relationship until 1532, very shortly before they married) or her possible ability to bear a son.

As to her downfall, the theory of Henry VIII having suffered some severe brain injury during his jousting injury in 1536 seems very plausible, although even with that aside, the political tide was definitely turning against Anne by this stage, and the litany of charges against her and her "fellow traitors" were almost certainly fabricated in order to discredit her completely beyond any hope of survival, as well as tarnish her name after death.

So, that was all a bit rambly and not particularly well thought out, so I apologise! But I guess the abridged answer would be that, yes, I certainly do personally think that Anne Boleyn was an active political figure of her time, and that, while the English Reformation may well have still happened without her influence, she was a massive catalyst for it, and her personal actions had a huge impact on the trajectory of the future of Europe and the future of the church.

And the extra abridged answer, I suppose, would be... Stan Anne Boleyn, I guess?

#bilbobagginsomebabez

[foxsartdump]

Free pass to ramble about anything you want!

MAAM YOU ARE GIVING ME A PASS TO RAMBLE WHICH I THANK YOU BUT I APOLOGIZE BECAUSE HOMESTUCK BRAINROTS BEEN ON MY MIND RECENTLY ALSO ITS GONNA BE SUPER LONG AND MOSTLY GRIAN CENTRIC

ok so ive mostly been thinking about how the other 2 life series (+100 hours just for fun) are involved into trafficstuck which led me to something more or less like the sketch below but ALSO how they actually started playing the game

i posted it before but after some revision i changed 3l!grian and hc!grians places which MEANS that the reasons of why dl!grian and ll!grian masquerade as rust bloods change/get swapped aka dl!g hides his identity as to not be recognized as the descendant of The Deserter/3l!g (a controversial figure in this alternias society and history, the former emperor) while ll!grian, in a similar sense, to not get found out as the descendant of The Vanished emperor, took the sign and spectrum placement of The Aviatrix (a beloved historical figure in this beforans society) without knowing that he and his ancestors are the exact same troll

SO in both sessions both grians dreamselves (derse dreamers) are awake before anyone else and both get tricked by this aus Horrorterrors aka The Watchers, outer gods residing in the furthest ring that reach out to those who dream on derse and that, unlike the homestuck horrorterrors, like to get involved in their players lives even before the game sessions start. how do they get tricked? dl!grian gets shown visions of his pre!scratch selfs life (aka hc!grian) with promises that this could become what he and his friends could have if they play the game, meanwhile ll!grian gets promised freedom, an escape for he and his friends when it comes to their faiths once they reach maturity (theyre expected to take on the roles their ancestors used to have, none of them are really Thrilled by this and grian is the least so seeing as he and his supposed ancestor have 'no relation whatsover'). in both cases tho they both accept at the price that when the session is done/won/lost they will give themselves to The Watchers, think kinda like what happened to rose when she went grimdark but also Not Really (this also ensured the existence of the dream bubbles for both sessions)

tbh i also wanted to go a bit into how the ll!session was more or less a doomed, unwinnable, glitch-filled session (think how homestucks game over timeline got by the end of it, also the boogeyman curse was one of the major glitches fucking them over) which caused grian, scar and joel having to escape to the dream bubbles before the glitches (and the watchers in grians case) caught up to them but also led to scott (the time player) to technically be the last one living of the session and having to be the one to start the scratch while also ultimately escaping into the dream bubbles BUT this post is already long enough so yeaaaah

#trafficstuck #trafficstuck au #homestuck #homestuck au #hermitcraft #hermitcraft au #double life #life series #trafficblr #mcytblr #mcyt #blue-dress-and-ready-to-impress #asks #fox rambles #ONCE AGAIN THANKS FOR ENABLING ME BUT AGAIN SORRY FOR THIS LONG ASS POST LMAO

[inkykeiji]

Hi Clari!! I hope you’re doing well!

I saw that you’re gonna be exploring publishing some of your works and that’s so crazy exciting!! Is that your main goal? Like, working towards seeing your work on store shelves is what keeps you going?

What helps you get in the mood to write and keeps your motivation up? One of my goals is to be more consistent with my writing to keep developing my skills, so any advice or ideas you have to get in the zone would be taken to heart 💕

hello my friend!! <3 prepare yourself for a long and rambly answer oh my god i’m so sorry

my main goal (in life tbh) is merely to make a living off of my writing. it doesn’t have to be a lot, literally just enough to live off of. i have always wanted to be a novelist, so publishing in some form has always been a part of my plan!

my motivation, and i know this will sound silly and cliché, comes from the fact that i genuinely love writing. it’s the only thing i want to do with my life, and it’s my biggest passion, and these are the things i remind myself of whenever i’m feeling less motivated. i WANT to be creating, always. i want to create work both for myself and for others, to help us, to entertain us, to be catharsis for us, etc etc etc. this always reinvigorates me.

additionally, my screenwriting prof and i had a long discussion about motivation, and the ending consensus we came to was that, for people who want to write for a living, discipline is more important (and more consistent) than motivation. even on the days where you don’t feel like writing, you must force yourself to write—even if you think what you’ve written is bad, even if you hate every single letter of every single word you’ve put on the page, just WRITE—every day. it doesn’t matter if all you can write today is just a few sentences, or a single paragraph. all that matters is that you got something down. it is better than not writing anything at all!!! writing, like anything else, is a skill; a craft, just like you mentioned! it is something you can continually sharpen and improve at for literally the rest of your life (as is any other art form/medium, in my opinion). the phrase ‘practice makes perfect’ is very, very true.

but i think that for me personally, what helps with keeping that discipline is the fact that i love writing so so so much, and that it means so much to me, even on the days where it’s tough, even on the days where it feels like nothing is coming out right, even on the days where i’ve rewritten the same fucking scene THREE times in one day and i still hate it (this just happened to me, LMAO). i’ve also found that, even when i force myself write something and i hate it, when i come back to it the next day i realize it isn’t nearly as bad as i thought it was the day before. the other plus to this is that now, i have a base. i’ve gotten out the very basic ideas and points i want to convey, i have a foundation i can revise, rework, build off of, etc. and that ALWAYS helps. always.

i don’t know what your personal writing goals are, if you write just for fun as a hobby (incredible!!!) or if you plan to write for a living (also incredible!!! i support you in either!) but i don’t think that such rigorous discipline is necessarily required for someone who just writes as a hobby/for fun. if that’s the case, the last thing you want this to feel like is a fucking job lmao. i think that, if you’re looking to build a habit of writing, that writing every day (and starting VERY SMALL, i’m talking just a sentence or two if that’s all you feel you can manage—only you know your limits!) is a great step, especially if you use writing exercises and prompts (they’re all over the internet & pinterest, very easy to find!).

but i also think it’s very, very important to remember that there’s a fine line between being disciplined and pushing yourself versus overworking yourself and burning yourself out; again, only you know your limits there. but anyway, if you’re looking to write more often then this technique may be something to try out/to look into, just to get yourself into that habit or writing every day, or every week, or whatever your goal is! if it’s possible, try to set aside a specific time for writing every day or every week and really commit to sticking to it. if you can’t, and you find you need to be more flexible, then that’s totally fine, too!! again, it all depends on your needs, your schedules, and your preferences. i need to stick to rigid schedules to ever get anything done, but not everyone works that way, and we’re all different people with different creative processes; find what works best for you! <33

ANYWAY, to actually answer your question and stop rambling, here are some things i do in addition to discipline that help keep me motivated!

- i always make playlists for each of my works that i like to listen to if i’m feeling i need an extra push. these vary from like, the lyrics reminding me of a character or the plot, to just the vibe of the song encompassing the vibe/atmosphere i’m going for.

- going on my aesthetic blog also really helps! if you’re into making mood boards and the like, those can help a ton, too. i suck so badly at putting them together so the aesthetic blog works for me, but i know quite a few people enjoy putting pinterest boards together as well!

- i love doing character sketches and fully fleshing out each of my characters, so sometimes i’ll reread whatever i have in my notebook for that particular character (i keep what i call a ‘character notebook’ where i do character sketches, and i always do those before i begin writing the story. keeping them in a separate notebook makes it easy to keep them organized and easy to find!).

- i also have a list of my all-time favourite pieces of art (books, films, songs/albums, singular characters, video games, paintings, photographs/photographers, etc) that i will revisit as well whenever i need to (true romance is always a go-to since so many of my relationship dynamics pull from clarence and alabama!). i am constantly adding to this list! i will also add a little description along with each entry, notes on what i love and why i love it, notes on particular elements (relationships, characters, setting, atmosphere, aesthetic, etc). the list is actually something that was taught to me in university by my screenwriting prof!

here is a link to an ask that compiles most of my answers to writing advice; they mostly just reiterate what i’ve said here, but i figured i’d link you to them just in case! <3

i hope this extremely long answer can help you at least a little bit, bb!!!! know that i always support you on your writing endeavours, whatever they may be! <333

#i’m sorry this is SO LONG jesus #i hope this can be of some help to you though!! <3 #the asks i’ve linked you to really do mostly reiterate everything i’ve said here already #i hope you’re having a wonderful thursday my friend!!! #stay safe and keep hydrated!! sending you lots of love + health!! #clari gets mail

[stellamancer]

Stells!!! Stella-Bella—here’s mine to ask you:

🎙️ + 🤲🏽 + 🧿

stella-bella.... aaaa merms that's so cute....

i have placed a cut cuz i rambled a lot LMAO.

which one of your fics would you like someone to make a pod-fic of?

I HAD TO GOOGLE WHAT A PODFIC WAS OMG. this is not the answer; but definitely not anything i've written that has ~explicit~ material. And probably not anything that I've done that was a little more on the abstract side or has a lot of scene changes cuz I think it would be easier to follow that way. So at that point.... of recent work then & here i am alive? Oh, you know what, I think a horror fic would work best for this. I have not written any horror fics, so I guess I should do that LMAO.

what do YOU get out of writing?

Stress relief? Ironic since sometimes the process of writing is stressful. It's a bit of escapism, or like, day-dreaming and fantasizing but the end result is, in a way, tangible, and I can come back and re-read it because sometimes I won't remember (especially if I daydream right before bed). But it is a nice creative outlet, and I notice that I have way less... sobby mental breakdowns when I write or actively think about wips LMAOOO.

what steps do you take to not take things personally if a fic doesn't do well, or if your writing/posting/sharing experience isn't going how you'd like it to?

Mmm. I usually don't mind all that much if something doesn't do that well as long as I'm satisfied with it, because at the core, I'm writing for me. Though I won't lie, posting/comment serotonin is real. LMAO. And, as any writer i think, will know, one really, really nice comment is enough to make your day.

So I guess that I'll talk about the writing experience not going how I want to because god I feel that right now LMAO. I've been working on editing this one chapter of &hiaa on and off since October- October!! I actually did a revision of it and handed it off to my beta and he said, 'well it's passible, but it's super awkward for the first half of the chapter, though the second half makes up for it.' And like, I wasn't pleased with it anyway, so I've been working at it and it's come to a crawl, especially because I've looked at it and been like 'wow this sucks it's like an infodump i hate that.'

And when the writing isn't going well, I try to step away from the wip, you know, get some air, think about some other things or work on other things or play games or something and the hope is to come back refreshed. Though that hasn't been happening with this one. So something else, I like to try and do is think of it from another angle. And I finally thought 'hey instead of thinking of it as an info dump, think as if you are spilling the tea, because that's basically what it is.' In theory that's supposed to work, but I haven't actually sat down to write and find out LMAO. Oops I rambled.

#ask meme #merms tag #I REALLY DID RABBLE OMG #i should put that under a cut #THANK U FOR THE ASK #i'm on pc but i have the pleading face emoJI LMAOOO

[emilydb7]

Intro To Me :)

Hello Beautiful Humans! :))

My name is Emily, (Em for short) and online I go by Em The Grem. Its a little inside joke my boyfriend and I came up with as a cute little nickname. Its short from Em The Gremlin cause that's what my boyfriend calls me but Em The Grem rhymes. Anyways; I use all pronouns but my preferred pronouns, unless otherwise specified, are they/them. I'm genderfluid/nonbinary. Im autistic and my special interests are The Hunger Games, other dystopian media like The Maze Runner and The 100, and Psychology.

I'm 19 and just recently discovered my neurodivergence. At the moment I am self diagnosed and working on getting a professional diagnosis but as most people know it is a very long and tedious process. Im currently on a list just to be put on another list. It's very frustrating but thankfully within this community self diagnosis is widely accepted and in some cases encouraged depending on your circumstances.

I created this blog mostly because I was listening to a book called Different Not Less by Chloe Hayden on audible and she explains how when she was a teenager she created a blog to share her thoughts and feelings about her autism diagnosis and find community with more people like her. I don't have many people in my life that can completely understand what I am going through and I thought having a blog like her to share my thoughts and feelings as well as meet new neurodivergent people would be a stupendous idea! I'm very excited to be starting this blog especially because Tumblr has a special place in my heart.

When I was a little undiagnosed teenager not knowing why they were so different from everyone else the Internet, like many others, was my escape from the real world of bullies and unspoken rules. I became so enamored with youtuber's like Dan and Phil and JackSpepticEye who had very large followings and a very large fan base specifically on this platform. I spent hours on my old account looking though pictures, fan edits, wallpapers, fan fictions, and anything to distract myself from the doom and gloom that was my life outside of the internet. Looking back it was so obvious I was a little neurodivergent child who needed support but didn't know where to look for it. Thankfully, this website was here. it was also on this website my best friend and I saw an inappropriate adult video for the first time but that's a story for another day lol. What I'm getting at is this website brings back so many memories of my teenage years (even though technically I still am a teenager lol) and I don't think there would be a better place to create a blog about discovering myself again than this debatably amazing website.

Sorry that was filled with rambles and I'm sure after posting this I'm going to read it back and wish I had revised some parts of it but I'm just so excited to start this journey that I'm writing quickly and posting at the same speed lol.

I hope you enjoy coming along with me as I post about myself, my autism, my special interests, and my complicated feelings. if you've made it this far please give me a follow and if you have any questions, comments, or just wanna chat my dms are always open :))

Thank you for reading!!!

-Em The Grem (they/them)

#new blog #autism #autistic adult #neurodiversity #neurodivergent #neurodiversesquad #neurodivergencies #masking #being autistic #autistic women #autistic pride #autism spectrum #actuallyautistic #asd #the hunger games #hunger games #special interest #mental health #self diagnosis #self diagnosed autism #writing #my writing #blogger #different not less #heartbreak high #lgbtq #lgbtq positivity #lgbtqia #genderfluid #nonbinary

[anthonyjlockwood]

4, 10, 23, 29, 31, 37 (im on my computer so imagine the 2 heart emoji)

4 - How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Care to share one of them?

Umm… that one Lukebobby angst thing, Doordash, the thing with Emi… I think three? I wish I had more though, I kind of want to work on something new but I don’t have any ideas and prompt lists never really work for me. 

But Doordash is inspired by me ordering a pizza on there one night, and them sending me someone else’s order. So I was like, that would be such a funny fanfic… and then I started thinking about what sort of pizzas Alex and Willie would order and it became a Willex fic, and then I wrote some words for it but I never figured out how to do the ending? So it’s kind of just sitting there. But I would like to finish it someday! 

10 - Which fic has been the easiest to write?

Any of the pretty short, no plot no dialogue, thought ramble projection ones lol. Life Sucks and Then – I know I always use that one for this question but it honestly wrote itself. 

i’m wide awake, i’m wide awake (but i’m in pain) was another one like that, I wrote it randomly one morning and it took me like, half an hour probably? 

and, you took me by surprise and left me falling like rain was honestly pretty easy to write even though it’s long. i don’t think i was expecting to be able to write so much in such a short period of time lol. 

23 - If you were to revise one of your older fics from start to finish, which would it be and why?

I don’t think I ever would, but stuck in my head (with nothing left) could absolutely be revised and expanded on, if I wanted to put the work in. 

29- If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

I mean, part of what’s so great about every other fic on Earth is that they’re not written by me 😂 And I would never really want to jump into another author’s universe and try to write because, for me at least, my writing comes from a personal place and I know that no one else would really be able to write it the way I would, or get it across the same way I would, because they don’t have my life experiences. I think every author brings something uniquely theirs to their writing, even if it’s fanfic, which is something that’s so amazing about it. Because no story would have turned out the way it did if that exact person hadn’t written it. So I’m not sure I’d really want to change that? 

But I’ve been getting back into reading (and rereading) HSMTMTS fics recently, because the show’s back on now, and one of the ones I just started reading again is “designed for disaster” by @nini-ricky. I would loveeee a sequel to that one (although I would never try to write it myself lol). Another one is @cadetcama’s "Home's A Lie (But We Don't Have To Be" from her Meals & Feels series, technically that story already has a sequel, and it doesn’t need another one, but also it absolutely needs another one 😂 

For JATP, though, I’ve literally been begging @flynn-taylor for months to write a sequel to her Troped fic. Again, I’d never do it, because I could never do it as well as she could, but I will die on the hill that it needs to be continued lol. 

31- Do you take liberties with canon or are you very strict about your fic being canon compliant?

I’m usually really strict with canon compliance in my writing. Because for me, fanfic is more of a homage to the original work, taking what I noticed about it, resonated with in it, and enjoyed and expanding on it. Trying to form even more relatability between myself and the characters (and, I guess, anyone else reading who might be going through similar stuff as me or feel similar ways). Because the best part about art is how it can bring everyone together through shared experience and feelings, and make people feel less alone. And in JATP, there were a lot of things that resonated with me about loss and grief and using art to try to get back to the person you used to be before. 

37- Talk about your current wips.

I’ll admit, finding time and inspiration to write lately has been really hard. Nothing I’ve been working on for the past few months has seemed appealing to me anymore, and it still exists but it’s mostly scrapped, I guess? The main thing I was working on was a Willex fic where they meet because their Doordash pizza orders got mixed up. And it’s fun, I’d love to finish it one day, but it’s too… happy? It’s not the sort of thing I usually write so it’s hard to do, especially now that I’ve let it sit for a long time. 

I’m not considering this a WIP yet, because it doesn’t have words, but @tillstarscollided and I have been talking about another Bobby angst fic we might want to try to collab on? So we’ll see if that happens, I think it would be really fun! Writing with someone else is great because it gives me the sense of friendship and community I actually started writing fic for in the first place!

#ily keer #ask games #answered asks

[the-resurrection-3d]

literally am rambling don’t feel like you need to read this lol 

Genuinely resent that I have to write novels to have a real writing career.  It’s not that I’m COMPLETELY uninterested in writing novels, but I feel really comfortable in this short story/essay space and I don’t feel like a lot of my ideas really lend themselves to full novels, you know? I’m trying to let stories take the form and length that best suits them. 

Saying all this because I’ve been turning over the idea of finally writing that Nickberto novel that I’ve been threatening to write and that, if I get into an MFA, I will probably have to write as my thesis. Of course, I have lots of different ideas regarding Nickberto, as you all know, so I’m still thinking about how best to approach it, and I think doing it by way of the tennis team au -- aka The Chocolate War (Abusive Gay Sex Edition) -- is probably the best, since there’s a little more going on in the actual plot than just Alberto being groomed. It’s also been apparent to me really since the beginning that literary fiction is the best space for Nickberto projects and now, with my hit counts falling, there’s less a reason to pretend otherwise. 

(For the record, when I mention falling hit counts, I’m not really bothered by this -- just that I do take audience into account when I think about what pieces should go where. I could post my big Jonah essay onto ao3 right now, but who goes onto ao3 looking for big, fragmented essays about the Bible and Orwell and suicide? When I say the EW fandom was so bad at engaging with fanfic that it drove me to traditional publishing, I’m not exaggerating.)

Sitting down to write this, though, has really led me back to the realization I had a few days ago that I can’t commit to huge revision projects when I can’t believe that what I’m doing is worthwhile. And I cannot truly believe what I’m doing is worthwhile while I’m at grad school. It’s just not gonna happen. Fall semester was the closest I’ve been to killing myself in a very long time. 

And there’s a lot I could say about that semester -- such as how many fics came as the direct result of something terrible happening in my life, like how “saint august” came directly after Noah’s grandmother’s funeral, my brother dropping out of college, and my grandmother showing up out of nowhere to accuse my grandfather of domestic violence, yes that all happened in a single afternoon-- but ultimately it doesn’t matter. Fanfic writer uses fanfic as escapism. Wow. Shocking. 

Building off of this realization, I think my reliance on the short story/essay form is emblematic of my more general inability to visualize the future much. I mean, I DO make plans, but I can’t really plan much when so many factors are far beyond my control and my industry is full of fucking clowns and academia is a nightmare hellscape. And really, this problem with struggling to maintain the faith over long projects has been a key struggle of mine since I had my huge meltdown in 2018/2019. I said this before back when I got the Best of the Net nom, but that time period really just damaged my relationship to writing itself. It’s gotten a lot better! But still. I mean the big Jonah essay I keep talking about is really about me trying to find a reason not to kill myself. 

I hope the MFA will be the reprieve I’m looking for. Gotta get into one first, of course. I just know that unless this upcoming semester is substantially better, I’m literally going to #Jonah myself if I stay here for the PhD.