#i was just wandering about an aspect of our common imagination

[hastalavistabyebye]

I was wondering, why do we use deer iconography so often to depict cryptids and gods and monsters of the wilderness ?

Well first of, it's based on western imagination, culture and lore of course. This plays obviously a major part of it but why ? Why a deer ?

By the way, deer presence in folklore and everything is old, like very old, and common to lots of cultures. Its antlers renewal is associated with rebirth and life and death cycle. And globally deers are seen as a link with the supernatural. What I'm trying to theorise is why, and maybe why still today.

So let's start.

First, the wilderness pictured is the one of nature. The nature untouched, undomesticable by humans. The savage nature, the wild nature. And what is a wild nature in western biome ? The forest. It's the wild element of the western landscape. It's a huge part of folklore because its darkness and density is home of so many creatures and dangers. You can get lost in it, easily. You hold no power in the Forest, etc, etc. The forest is the best way to start a tale isn't it ? Anyway, that's the first point : magic and secrecy, everything cryptid and other fairies and land monsters, are linked to the Forest. 

And what do we find in a forest ? Well lots of things (and I'm only speaking about wildlife here, so not vegetation). Bears, wild boars, lots of different birds with a lot of variety, rabbits, wolfs and foxes... And of course deers.

So why deers and deer-particularities specifically are so much used and appreciated ? There is so many other animals to use ! So here is what I think, and it's really is just an idea, a simple take on the matter :

Deers are beautiful creatures. They are majestic, mighty. They're also skittish and fast. Finding a deer is hard. This two points put them in two cases of common imagination. 

They are regal : it puts them in a "king of the Forest" sort of position. Especially since their antlers are associated with royalty. It's the symbol of a good hunter and who liked to hunt ? Kings. So yeah, they're heavily associated with royalty and power, must it be as a symbol or because of their appearance and grace.

They are hard to meet and good at hiding : it put them in the "supernatural" case, the fantastic aspect of the Forest. Here and not here. Watching you but impossible to see. As if they were at two places at once. Present but never where you look. 

So that's already two aspects in their favour for being associated to a godlike creature of the Forest.

But there is also something else. Because a bear or a wolf could have similarities in a way or the other. So deers have something else.

They are dangerous but not carnivorous. They are a prey, not a danger for the Forest. Not a danger for the Forest inhabitants. A danger for us. And where does this come from ? Easy : the deer's slab. You hear them from far away, they are noisy like all hell. And it is kind of terrifying. Plus they're also fighting. And it will be dangerous if you get too close because they will attack. Not to eat. Not because they're hurt or because of their instincts specifically. It practically feels like they are angry at you (because it does sound like they are angry at something or each other or well you know anything and everything really, deer's slabs are impressive as hell). And so they can be seen as forces you should not mess with. Forces that will only attack each other or invaders of their territory, protectors.

Mighty, very hard to find, protectors living in the Forest. Oh and very easily identified thanks to their unmistakable antlers.

It's in fact no wonder why deer iconography is so used to depict the Forest (and wilderness at large) dangers, secrets and power.

#i would like to remark that i am very very far from a folklore specialist #i was just wandering about an aspect of our common imagination #and it might be nice to know that there is no word which means exactly “cryptid” in my native language #so there is still a bit to learn about its nuances on my part #but anyway i find it so interesting how we use this symbol to depict a specific thing #anything cryptid seems so deeply bound with the aspect of a deer #i think it's awesome #hasta rambles #or more like wonder aloud about some very specific thing for no other reason than curiosity #thanks for coming to my ted talk #i had a blast thinking about it all #cryptidcore #cryptid #goblincore #monstercore #iconography in pop culture #hi tumbler void

[gumjester]

Where do you think Alice is in EAH? What's up with her? What do you think of her? Basically do you have any headcanons about her? ;)

oh alice!!!!!! yes, i have thoughts about her, which i think are quite unconventional, as i have a highly specific (and maybe convoluted) imagining of what exactly she has gotten up to in her life.. i think this is going to take some explaining.

ultimately i have had alice serve as a developed, largely tragic reason 4 alistair to be involved with wonderland the way he is. i remember watching spring unsprung all those Years ago and asking myself: why is alistair the same age as the other wonderlandians? shouldn't he b an entire generation younger than them to fit the story? why is he still there, anyway, now being very obviously not a little child?? and we've seen every other wonderlandian parent, so yes, where on earth IS alice???

so, i started there, and worked backwards!

most of this is clarified (or at least said slightly better) in my work 'alistair's fall', but i didn't think alice would end up remaining in wonderland and i never thought of her living in ever after, mostly because i couldnt think of another reason she would not be seen nor mentioned in the show at all! i always considered her an inhabitant of the 'mortal world' [working title], which is different 2 both ever after and wonderland in that it is.. our world i suppose? but fictionalised. normal human dimension, regardless..

this always made the most sense to me, as the separation of the fantastical and the regular is such a fundamental aspect of the original alice story, and if alice hailed from ever after, a place where dragons wandered around and wolves could speak, i dont think it would end up meaning quite the same thing... theme-wise.

so, she is from common old london, and it is there that she returned after her story! unfortunately things get more depressing from here.

alice is quite a sad character in my headcanons.. she loved wonderland very much as her accidental visit provided a refuge from her exceedingly troubled home life, and actually didn't want to leave at all. when it happened anyway (wonderland's stories work more like patterns in nature. a child comes, a child goes. its just what seems to happen) she refused to let her experience go, maintaining that wonderland was not a dream, like most alices decide, but instead a real place that she could return to one day. her life continued as a series of misfortunes, and she grew obsessive, detatched, and quite ill. most of her worldly thoughts and efforts were directed towards getting back to the rabbit-hole and returning to wonderland where she would be safe and happy again. she was never successful.

in her early twenties she ended up alone, still ill, with a child, who she named alistair. giving him a version of her name felt like ensuring his luck that he, too, would get to go to wonderland someday (and she was right).

to make ends meet, she took several odd jobs for several unsavoury people, and ended up on the bad side of someone who believed in extreme measures. she ran from them, with alistair, to the now-derelict house she grew up in, and when inevitably she was found she knew what she had to do.

alice sent alistair out quickly and secretly from the house, and down to the stream where she knew the rabbit-hole must be (if not for her, then surely for him. wonderland is kind like that; if a child is in need, it will open itself to them). alistair found the rabbit-hole. alice stayed behind and met her consequence.

of course, this is a pretty gratuitously miserable thing to put her through, but i was about 17 when i thought of all this and my taste has remained edgy enough to think it effective!!! to this day i have no idea if she ought to be alive in the mortal world, or dead.. maybe one day, if i write a sequel to alistair's fall, i will actually have to make this decision!.... but not yet

#I HAVE NO IDEA IF YOU WANTED SUCH EXTENDED THOUGHTS BUT IT ALL SORT OF CAME OUT AT ONCE #but yes poor alice :( havent treated her well im afraid #you could read alistairs fall for more context on this btw!! its from 2020 but honestly i think it holds up #eah #ask #ever after high #alistair wonderland #gum talk

[skinzchoerim]

instinct pt.1 and instinct pt.2 stOryline analysis

I've spent a lot of time in the past year thinking about these two albums. I found it curious that the first three songs mention women, skinz says gender doesn't matter and the rest of the songs are gender neutral while the MVs are gay. Since today is instinct pt.2's first anniversary and it's an album that changed my life, here's the story I've come up with (based purely on the lyrics and descriptions, not the MVs).

We can safely assume that the bOy wearing cOmme des garçOns, our main character in this series, is meant to be bisexual. From what I've gathered, it's common for bisexual people to realise their attraction to the opposite gender first (since it's already expected and easier to explore) and get the full picture of their sexuality later. libidO is about exploration and experimentation, and I always thought the line "girl, I just wanna know" was referring to exactly that - experimenting and starting with the "safer" option first, but still being aware of your blooming queerness in the back of your mind, accepting and understanding your libido as a whole through this first experience.

Next is yOu can tOuch it if yOu can't feel it. In libidO, he wasn’t acting on his desires yet, it was all an internal monologue about things he feels and wishes to take further. The longer he didn’t act on it, the stronger and more uncontrollable it became. After accepting his libido as an internal thing, in instinct he explores it further, no longer questioning and thinking, but acting on it with another person. I really like the line "Why the hell were you drawn to my wandering?" because it highlights that this is just the beginning of his journey of self discovery. He found someone he's attracted to and he doesn't question that, but he's also aware in the back of his mind that it's not the end, he's still lost and has more questions than answers. For now, though, he chooses to focus on this moment and this person.

Another line I find interesting is "I don't want your love tonight because it hurts." A lot of OOO's pre-instinct era songs' messages give me the impression that in order to have a full, satisfying, healthy relationship, the subject needs to grow up, understand and accept himself. Even in relationships with women, he can't just suppress and not think about his queerness, because in the long run, it'll become poison to the relationship. It's a vital part of his nature and not exploring it at all is doing himself injustice and stopping his growth as a person. I'm not here to say whether this is true or not, but it makes sense to me with some of their songs.

Moving onto byredO - since it's his first relationship and "the emotion of love of the boy, who is yet to become a grown-up, is quite impulsive and fickle", it turns unhealthy and obsessive. The interesting this is, hOly week is the previous track, not the next like one might expect. It's because he's been slowly turning away from god and he turns his worship elsewhere, letting his desires consume him. He doesn’t see his lover for the person she is, only focusing on the physical aspect of their relationship and putting it above anything else, her scent his new god.

tear Of gOd is repentance for following his impulses. He feels the promised paradise slipping away as he realises he can no longer reach it, both because of how he acted in the relationship and because of the constant awareness of his attraction to men. He begs for forgiveness and tries to feel closer to god again, but it's not the same anymore. His indulgence in pleasure already put distance between his faith and himself, and going back just causes him to feel more guilty, so he takes a different approach.

I called it yOu but it was actually me is a curious phrase that's been torturing me since I first saw it. The description says:

Confession is a word with both a religious and secular meaning, and the “low-lying voice” always makes me imagine him on his knees in a church. However, the phrase itself is very "call me by your name"-esque, which relates to the idea of being two halves of a whole, seeing yourself reflected in another person and seeing them in yourself. It's not physical, but emotional and intellectual. So, perhaps, after confessing his sins and not getting a response, he comes to the conclusion that people are closer to him than god. He used to believe he was created in god's image, but “i called it you but it was actually me” indicates a realization of inherent connection between god’s creations, people finding their reflections in each other instead. The boy stops seeing other people as separate from himself and starts looking into their shared humanity, hence, under the_ comes next.

"Emotion beneath innate nature" suggests more focus on the inner feelings, letting go of the fear that love will hurt and opening up to an emotional connection. For all that I know, instinct pt.2 makes no mention of the boy, but it's safe to assume he's still our POV character. In this album, I'll refer to his lover as "he", because although all the songs are gender neutral and the idea of the album is that gender doesn't matter, there's an implied "maleness" in suit dance and gaslighting (with Nine and Kyubin's lines responding to each other) and it makes sense within the larger narrative.

The songs on instinct pt.2 all correspond with a song on pt.1. skinz, like libidO, is an internal monologue of acceptance. He understands that gender doesn't matter to him and he should stop looking only skin-deep. He now knows that in order for a relationship to work, he needs to look beneath the physical and see the person inside. It's desperate and slightly aggressive because he's still young and impulsive, and there's this whole new side of him he's been suppressing that's just waiting to get out.

I haven’t read the book this title comes from, but from what I’ve seen other lyOns say, la nausee relates to the idea of individual choices and how they create a person. The description shows that there's someone new in his life that he’s beginning to have feelings for.

suit dance is, in a way, encouraging someone to come to the same conclusions he did. It focuses on physical aspects and wanting the other to act on his instincts, but there's also an element of helping him find identity and freedom in it (“time to cut loose yourself”, "focus a bit more on yourself"). It explores similar ideas as instinct, following someone with his eyes and wanting to be close to them so they can both act on their desires.

Now, the line "What do your eyes in the mirror want?" makes me think of “I called it you but it was actually me”. I'm a bit confused by who is who exactly in this song, it might be a translation issue, but it's hard to tell apart the "me" and "you" sometimes. They seem to blend together and I think it's part of the idea. They're both wearing suits and admiring themselves in the mirror, but also see a reflection of themselves when looking at each other.

gaslighting, just like byredO, is deeply toxic as he gets addicted to his lover and wants to be controlled. In a way, it's kind of religious as it shows a deep and unhealthy devotion one should not have towards another human being as it also reduces their humanity. He still feels the need to put someone on the pedestal, which, although not from the boy's story, goes back to angel. Growing up religious made him feel that there needs to be someone above him, someone more holy than him he can answer to, and once he steps away from religion, he fills the god-shaped hole (sorry, I find that phrase hilarious) with other people.

snapchat honestly baffles me a little, but the description says:

Perhaps the idea is that they're realising the instability of their relationship, that they're continually missing each other and they don't know how to communicate properly. All they have is small moments that become good memories, but even they disappear without a trace.

ultimate bliss is a rejection of all that was influenced by religion in the boy's life. He still dreams of paradise, but this time he wants to build one for himself and his lover. He's ready to let go of the ideas he'd been brought up believing in and there's catharsis in leaving it all behind. He accepts the things he's done wrong and doesn't blame himself for them, doesn't apologise to god anymore.

"Are we being punished, or are we dreaming" confuses me a bit. Dreaming in general is used a lot in OOO's songs, it's a pleasant state and an escape from reality, which, if you indulge in too much, stunts your growth. I think in this case, it means that it's hard to tell whether this love they have is good or bad. He's conflicted because it's both painful and pleasurable, and religious people really like to force black and white thinking. The boy is just beginning to learn that some things are morally neutral, not everything that hurts is punishment, not everything that feels good is a beautiful dream.

"Would you come with me?" means that it's not just him, but his lover as well who has to let go of these things. If we interpret this song and gaslighting as being about the same person, perhaps the lover's religious upbringing also made him feel that he needs to be more controlling. Since their relationship is forbidden, he needed to feel like there's some aspect of it that's up to him in the face of the great unknown and placed himself as the god. As a side note, my grandparents were once reading me something about god filling people with light if they put their trust in him and I was reminded of this line in gaslighting:

If we see it like that, ultimate bliss would then show that there's still hope for the two of them if they get rid of all these messed up ideas and stop feeling like there needs to be a higher power involved in their relationship. Neither of them is god and neither is the follower, they're both Adam and Eve who made their choice to bite the forbidden fruit and leave.

As a sort of epilogue/glue to the next project, there's undergrOund idOl #0 with the description:

It reminds me of the description under be free:

Both of these are about overcoming hardship as long as they can rely on each other. It also reminds me of angel and Mill's line "to me you are faith, sometimes hope", while in skinz he had the line "belief is toxic to me" (and the word used for belief in Korean also refers to belief in god). This just reiterates that they're letting go of the idea that they need to put someone on a pedestal.

And lastly, we have re-bidO. I'm not sure if it means that if he were exploring his sexuality again, he wouldn't make the same mistakes? It's normal to look back on your journey and wish you'd done things differently, but these words imply a lot of regret. Maybe he's not fully content with where he ended up, maybe he's imagining a version of his life which is better, easier. Maybe it shows that his journey isn't over just because the album has ended and he still has a lot of guilt, so he's back to square one - accepting the natural parts of himself. It's a bittersweet ending and that makes it feel more real. The road was rocky and just like at the end there's catharsis, there's also reflection.

#onlyoneof #onlyoneof theory #onlyoneof theories

[asleepinawell]

Book Recs

I was gonna do one of these at the end of the year, but I’ve somehow managed to read 26 books this year already (12 novellas, 14 novels), almost all featuring queer authors and/or characters so this is already a long list.

Note: There’s a few on here I was kind of meh about, but in most of those cases it was a ‘book might be good but it’s not for me so i’ll mention it to put it on people’s radar anyway’ type of thing. Insert the usual necessary tumblr disclaimer about all of this being only my opinion and your opinions are valid too etc etc.

In order of when I read them:

Princess Floralinda and the Forty-Flight Tower by Tamsyn Muir - Fantasy novella from the author of gideon the ninth that’s a twist on the classic princess trapped in a tower waiting for a prince story. Quite fun. (novella)

The Monster of Elendhaven by Jennifer Giesbrecht - Dark fantasy about revenge and magic. m/m couple but like I said it’s pretty dark and twisted all around so definitely not a happy queer romantic story. My opinion was interesting premise that could have been executed better and probably should have been a full novel to embellish on the world building potential. (novella)

A Memory Called Empire & A Desolation Called Peace - Arkady Martine - Probably tied with murderbot as the best things I read this year. Scifi, f/f couple, wonderfully done exploration of what it means to fall in love with a culture that is destroying your own. More of the many queer anti-imperialist books that have come out recently and certainly some of the best. The second one is a direct continuation of the first. (2 novels)

The Tyrant Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson - This is the third in the Baru Cormorant series (The Masquerade) and was my favorite so far. The second and third book were originally one book that got split I believe and the second book didn’t stand alone as well (though was still great), but the third book really made up for that. Dark fantasy world starring a queer woc whose country and culture is destroyed by the imperial forces of that world colonizing and assimilating them. She vows revenge and decides to work her way up within her enemy’s ranks to enact it from within and bring an empire to ruins. Really really fascinating study of so many different aspects of our own world and the systems which enable and allow bigotry and how bigoted and violent narratives are used to control minorities. This is definitely a darker series and I was particularly impressed with some of the commentary on the racism prevalent in non-intersectional feminism as depicted through a fantasy world. Can’t wait for the last one to come out! (3 novels, 1 forthcoming)

The Murderbot Diaries - Martha Wells - There’s six of them--5 novella and a novel--and the first is All Systems Red. Told from the point of view of a self-aware droid/android that is rented out by a corporation to provide protection in a dystopian capitalist hellhole future that isn’t that unlike our current capitalist dystopia but is in space. Muderbot hacked the chip that controlled it and instead of going rogue just wants to be left alone to watch its favorite tv shows. Murderbot is painfully relatable and the books are both funny and poignant. Highly recommended. (5 novellas and a novel).

Winter’s Orbit - Everina Maxwell - This was a m/m romance novel with a scifi backdrop of royal intrigue. Generally I’m more into scifi with a queer relationship in the background than vice versa, so it wasn’t my favorite, BUT I think it was still well written and someone looking for more of the romance angle would enjoy it. Has all your favorite romance tropes in it, especially the yearning. (novel)

The Divine Cities - Robert Jackson Bennett - Three book series. I’m very conflicted about this one. Set in a fantasy world where an enslaved nation overthrew the country enslaving them and now rules over them. It’s a story of what happens after the triumphant victory and within that it’s also a murder mystery tied into the dying magic of the conquered nation. It also has a six foot something naked oily viking man fist fight a cthulhu in a frozen river. The second book was by far my favorite, mostly due to the main character being brilliant. My conflict comes from the fact I don’t feel like the story treated its women and queer characters well. Like it had really great characters but it didn’t do great by them overall. That and the third book didn’t live up to the first two. But still definitely worth a read, can’t stress enough how cool some of the world building was. (3 novels)

Into the Drowning Deep - Mira Grant - This might be the only one on here I disliked. It’s got a doomed boat voyage and creepy underwater terror and monsters and a super diverse cast of characters, but I just didn’t enjoy the writing style. While having a diverse cast is great, there were a lot of moments where it felt like characters were pausing to explain things about themselves that felt like a tumblr post rather than a normal conversation you might have while actively being hunted by monsters. I also bounced off all the characters. But a lot of people seem to have liked it so if you’re into horror and want a book with a f/f main couple then maybe you’ll enjoy it. (novel)

Dead Djinn Universe - P. Djèlí Clark - Around the early 1900′s, a man in Egypt discovers a way to access another world and bring Djinn and mysterious clockwork beings called Angels through. As a result, Egypt tells the British to get fucked and Cairo becomes one of the most powerful cities in the world. So Egypt, magic, djinn, a steampunk-ish vibe, oh and the main character is a butch queer woman who enjoys wearing dapper suits and looking fabulous while she investigates supernatural events. Her girlfriend is also mysterious and badass. And she has a cat. There’s three novella (one of which technically might be considered a short story) and then the first novel. You should absolutely read the novellas first (A Dead Djinn in Cairo, The Angel of Khan el-Khalili, The Haunting of Tram Car 015). Super fun and imaginative series. (3 novellas and a novel, more forthcoming)

River of Teeth & Taste of Marrow - Sarah Gailey - From the book description

“In the early 20th Century, the United States government concocted a plan to import hippopotamuses into the marshlands of Louisiana to be bred and slaughtered as an alternative meat source. This is true. Other true things about hippos: they are savage, they are fast, and their jaws can snap a man in two. This was a terrible plan.”

Queer hippo riders!!!! Very much a western but with hippos. Main couple included a non-binary character. Loved the first one. The second one I was more meh about due to one of the characters I was supposed to like having obnoxious man pain that a woman had to take the brunt of the whole time. Also there were less hippos. But queer hippo riders! Definitely read the first one, and they’re both novellas so no reason not to read the second as well. (2 novellas)

A Psalm for the Wild-Built - Becky Chambers - I may be the only person who hasn’t read the long way to a small angry planet at this point, but I did grab her new novella and I loved it. It made me want to go sit out in the woods and feel peaceful. The world it’s set in feels like a peaceful post-apocalypse...or diverted apocalypse maybe. Humans built robots and robots gained sentience, but instead of rebelling they just up and left and went into the wilderness with a promise that the humans wouldn’t follow them.The remaining human society reshaped itself into something new and peaceful. It’s the story of a monk who leaves their habitual monking duties to go be a tea monk and then later wanders into the wilderness and becomes the first human in ages to meet a robot. Very sad there’s no fan art yet. (novella, more forthcoming)

The March North - Graydon Saunders - This was such a weird book that I’m not sure how to explain it. The prose style is hard to get used to and I suspect a lot of people will bounce off it in the first chapter. There’s no third person pronouns used at all and important events get mentioned once in passing and if you blink you’ll miss them. Set on a world where magic is extremely common to the point that rivers sometimes run with blood or fire and the local weeds are something out of a horror movie and most of the world is run by powerful sorcerer dictators, one country banded together (with the help of a few powerful sorcerers who were tired of all the bullshit) to form a free country where powerful sorcerers wouldn’t rule and the small magics of every day folks could be combined to work together. The story revolves around a Captain of the military force on the border who one day has three very powerful sorcerers sent to them by the main government with the hint that just maybe there’s about to be a big invasion (there is) with the implication of take these guys and go deal with this. The world building is extremely complex and very cool...when you can actually understand what the fuck is going on. There is also a murder sheep named Eustace who breathes fire and eats just about everything and is a Very Good Boy and belongs to the most terrifying sorcerer in the world who appears as a little old grandma with knitting. It had one of the most epic badass and wonderfully grotesque battles I’ve ever read. But yeah, it is not what I would call easy reading. Opinions may vary wildly. I did also read the second one (A Succession of Bad Days) in the series which was easier to follow and had a lot more details about the world, but overall I was more meh about it despite some cool aspects. The chapters and chapters of the extreme details of building a house that made up half the novel just weren’t my thing. (novels).

The Space Between Worlds - Micaiah Johnson - In this world parallels universes exist and we’ve discovered how to travel between them, but the catch is you can only go to worlds where the ‘you’ there is already dead. This turns into an uncomfortable look at who would be the people most likely to have died on many worlds and how things like class and race would fit into that and what we would actually use this ability for (if you guessed stealing resources and the stock market you’d be correct). The main character is a queer woc who travels between worlds with the assistance of her handler (another queer woc) who she has the hots for. She accidentally stumbles on a whole lot of mess and conspiracy and gets swept up in that. Really enjoyed it. (novel)

Witchmark - C.L. Polk - Fantasy world reminiscent of Victorian England (I think?) where a young man with magical gifts runs away from his powerful family to avoid being exploited by them. He joins the army and fights in a war and comes home to try and live a quiet life as a doctor, but a murder pulls him into a larger mystery that upturns his life. Also he’s extremely gay and there’s a prevalent m/m romance. This one was a fun-but-not-mind-blowing one for me. (novel, 2 more in the series I haven’t read)

The Priory of the Orange Tree - Samantha Shannon - This was one of those that everyone loved but I couldn’t get into for some reason. I tried twice and only got about halfway through the second time. It’s got dragons and queer ladies and fantasy world and all the things I like, but I wasn’t that invested in the main story (which included the f/f couple) and was more interested in the smaller story about a woman trying to become a dragon rider. There are few things that beat out a lady and her dragon friend story for me and that was the storyline that felt neglected and took a different turn right when we got to the part I’d been waiting for. But, I know a lot of people whose reading opinions I respect who loved it, and if you like epic fantasy with dragons and queens and treachery and pirates and queer characters then I’d say you should definitely give it a try. (novel)

Bonus: I didn’t read these series this year, but if you haven’t read them yet, you should.

Imperial Radch (Ancillary Justice) - Ann Leckie - Spaceship AI stuck in a human body out for revenge for their former captain, but that summary does not come close to doing it justice. Another one examining imperialism and also gender and race.(3 novels)

Kushiel's Legacy Series - Jacqueline Carey - This is two series, six books total, and starts with Kushiel's Dart. Alternate universe Renaissance-y Europe in a fantastical world where sex isn't shameful and sex workers are respected and prized. Lots of political intrigue and mystery. A lot of BDSM and kinky stuff too (the main character is a sexual masochist, oh and also bi!). I first read this series when I was fifteen or sixteen and it definitely made a big impression on me. Same author also wrote the Santa Olivia series which I’d also recommend. (6 novels)

The Locked Tomb (Gideon the Ninth) - Tamsyn Muir - I mean, if you follow me, you know. If you don’t follow me you still probably know. I’d have felt remiss to have left them off though. Lesbian Necormancers in Space. Memes! Skeletons! Biceps! Go read them. (2 novels, 2 forthcoming, 1 short story)

Books On My To Read List:

Fireheart Tiger - Aliette de Bodard

The Order of the Pure Moon Reflected in Water - Zen Cho

Black Sun - Rebecca Roanhorse

This Is How You Lose the TIme War - Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone

Ninefox Gambit - Yoon Ha Lee

Also, if anyone has any recs for scifi/fantasy books starring queer men (not necessarily having to do with a queer relationship) and written by queer men I’d love them. There’s a lot written by women, and some of them are great, but I’d love to read a story about queer men from their own perspective.

#book recs #books #mp

[skzafterdusk]

kim seungmin + “I Love It”

This was requested from the Dean Title Track Prompt List I posted where you can pick an SKZ member and a song for a drabble fic

Word Count: 2.9k (idk if that’s considered drabble length)

Tag: kitchen sex, college!au, photographer!Seungmin

Summary: You and Seungmin rent a high-rise apartment for his birthday weekend. And, well, birthday sex...’nuff said.

You and your boyfriend checked into the apartment earlier this morning, wanting to spend some time together before he headed to the one class he had on Fridays. It was no burden to him, of course; an intermediate portrait photography course that he’s been so engrossed in.

But that only meant, shortly after you guys settled into your home for the weekend, Seungmin was pressing a soft kiss to your forehead before leaving you there alone.

You had taken painstaking care looking for the best apartment to rent, wanting something with tons of natural light that you and Seungmin got drunk on, but also a view of your fabulous city, Seoul. This was the gift you settled on for his 20th birthday which, unfortunately, fell on a weekday where both of you would be too busy with classes. 

The view, as you hoped, was incredibly lovely. From the wall of windows in the living room, you were able to see the sun as it continued to rise over the city. It was so calming, in fact, that you decided a nap would be in order after you took the time to unpack Seungmin’s and your stuff. The close you brought, the fruits and vegetables you washed, your favourite ground coffee sat next to the coffee machine.

It’s almost as if you guys actually lived there. Having a dream be a reality for so short of time could definitely be the spark to motivate you once you had to go back to the real world. 

And so, a couple hours later, you finally went to the bedroom, laying on top of the covers so as not to disturb anything too much, and allow the unfamiliar serenity of the new place lull you to much needed rest…

Maybe you’ve been slowly coming to for some time now, the room just as silent as it had been when you fell asleep. But even with your eyes closed, the presence of another life redistributes the quiet, makes an empty space feel more full.

And it’s the familiar sound of a light shutter that makes you blink until your eyes flutter open.

The room is much warmer than it had when you initially fell asleep. Even in the shadows of the bed frame, Seungmin seems to radiate the glow like the sun that is clearly setting from the windows behind you.

And, much like you had expected, Seungmin’s white camera is in his hands, a soft smile on his lips as he inspects the photo before looking up again.

He’s crouched down so your faces almost entirely leveled, close so he doesn’t have to raise his voice.

“You just looked so peaceful and beautiful,” he explains. “Wanna see it?”

You lift yourself onto your elbow so you can lean forward as he shows you the camera screen. And there’s a grin on your lips before you even notice.

Despite the subject, it’s still a wonderful composition, the sun a vibrant and warm orange spilling rays through the floor to ceiling walls behind the bed. The burst floats above your darker silhouette, but your relaxed features are still distinguishable.

“I love it,” you say. Your hand is already reaching for his face, wanting to kiss him while the serenity of the moment is still present.

You both drink in the moment, both are slow to press your lips to eachother’s and even slower to pull away.

“Happy Early Birthday, Minie.”

“What do you have planned for me this weekend?”

With that question, you readjust yourself, sitting up. Seungmin follows suit, coming to sit next to you on the bed while you explain the plan for the night.

“I figured we would cook our meal for tonight. So we’ll need to go to the market to buy meat. And we can get you a cake, as well.”

With the plan set, you both went about freshening up, Seungmin wanting to rid himself of the simple clothes he’d worn to university for the day, and you adding the smallest of makeup just to make yourself more put together.

Going to the market together reminded you of when you’d first started dating, Seungmin insisting on cooking for you because you were both young college students that didn’t have the means to always eat out. When you got back to his dorm, that was when you discovered that maybe his cooking skills relied more on ambition than technique. 

Even though it’s been a year and a half, it feels like so much has gone down since then. From sharing classes to being on opposite sides of campus, from late night study dates or photography adventures, you’ve grown to know Seungmin to a point where imagining him not in your life is kind of impossible.

“I’ll start prepping the vegetables,” he states matter-of-factly once you guys are back at the apartment. By now, the sun is further behind the city. You need to turn on the ceiling lights for proper illumination, and you’re seeing this space in a (literally) new light.

“Hey,” Seungmin calls to you, putting a hand on your elbow. You realize, then, that your mind had begun to wander, staring at your reflection in the window across the room. “What are you thinking about?”

It was a commonplace question for the two of you. Similar in the way that both of you tended to stay in your own heads, you both understood that all it took was a simple question to bring you back and converse with each other. You’d be lying if you hadn’t spent some nights just appreciating that aspect alone.

When you look at him, you smile wide, quickly popping up to kiss him on the jaw.

“I’m just really happy we met.” There is no other way to put it, even if it comes out bluntly. Even though the confessions of being in love with eachother have come and gone, it wasn’t common for you to just say those words. It was said in different ways; in the way he told you to worry about an assignment late and focus on yourself now, the way you asked him about whatever project he was working on in his photography class. Sometimes, like now, though, the words just need to be said as plainly and complex as they are.

“I love you.”

With his hand still on your arm, he pulls you into his chest. “I love you,” he repeats.

The moment passes easily and smoothly, and soon the kitchen is filled with a cacophony of sounds: meat sizzling in a pan, the overhead fan whirring to combat all the steam and smoke wafting the air. A jazz playlist blares from his phone on the island. Everything is so picture perfect, you think absently.

Seongmin must think this, as well, as he holds his camera up to his eye. You don’t even know when he retrieved it, but now he’s having a shoot of his own, taking shots that you can’t fathom look all that nice, but they’re endearing.

You turn the stove off as the meat finishes cooking, impatiently grabbing a piece to taste.

“Hey! Already starting without me?” teases Seungmin as he puts his camera down.

You scoff. “Head chef always gets to taste first.” At the playful pout on your boyfriend’s lips, concede easily. “But siux chef gets to taste, too.” And you feed him a piece he eagerly takes.

You don’t even bother taking the food over to the dining table, nor do you bother with using plates and dishes. Possibly you didn’t realize how hungry you both were, but there’s something so nice about just standing there, talking in between bites, laughing about random anecdotes.

“Is it time for birthday cake?” Despite phrasing it as a question, you’re already rounding towards the refrigerator where you’d put it once you got back from the store.

There’s arms suddenly wrapping around your waist, his chin hooking on your shoulder from behind.

“We have all weekend for cake. Kinda want you for dessert.”

Despite his words, you scrunch your nose up, looking at him awkwardly from where his face is. “Your reasoning is flawed, sir. You can have me all weekend, too.”

And, really, he shouldn’t look as adorable as he does when he raises his brows and widens his eyes. “Really? All weekend? It really must be my birthday.”

Your elbow is light to jab him from behind at his cheesy words. But he only gives enough room for you to turn in his hold. Your hands slide to rest on the back of his neck, your fingers having a mind of their own as they start to play with the hair there.

“And you ‘kinda’ want me? You’re gonna have to know for sure, Min,” you playfully reprimand. 

His eyes darken, smile falling from his lips. It’s an expression that commands attention, and you obey effortlessly.

“I’m still hungry, (Y/N),” he starts, his voice low. “How about I eat you, instead?”

You hum. “Cannibalism. Sexy.”

Luckily, he doesn’t pay much attention to your words, only swoops down to pull you into a heated kiss that leaves you breathless. He’s quick to lick his tongue along your bottom lip, dives in when given the slightest entry. Even though this is nowhere near your first time, your body always ignites with desire at how strong his passion drives him forward.

You lock your arms around his neck when his grip on your waist grows stronger, begging your body to be flushed against his. Pesky clothing aside, you can feel the heat of his body, the way his chest heaves with yearning for oxygen that comes as second priority to just consuming you.

But when he does break away, it’s to switch your positions, the island digging into your lower back as he goes back in. He tilts your head, licking into your mouth behind your teeth. He swallows the moan his actions illicit. They taste sweet going down, if it wasn’t obvious by the way he does it again and again.

You beg him softly. “Do something, please.” Sometimes he makes you impatient, makes you need him now. And just as you obey him, he never denies you what you want.

A normally gentle man turns quite wild, his hands heavy as they work to rid you of your shirt and bra. Your chin tucks into your shoulder while his lips trail down the other side, biting and kissing at your exposed skin. Your half-lidded eyes catch that reflection you admired earlier. The night now almost completely blackened with a sunless sky. Even though a world lives outside that window, all you can see is the scene it showcases.

You with your man buried in your neck, his fist clenched to the edge of the counter beside you.

Just as quickly, he brings you back to this moment in your own skin when he brings his lips back to yours. Now it’s your turn to work on his shirt, immediately going for his pants next. Without much fanfare, you wrap your hand around his hardening length, feeling a chill run down your spine at the harsh gruff it sparks from his throat.

“Later,” he says after some time of you languidly squeezing him up and down. “Worry about that later. Hop on the counter.”

You listen wordlessly, pulling yourself up until you’re sat on the edge of the surface. You start with your pants as Seungmin goes to a bag sitting on the floor next to you, where he pulls out a bottle of lube.

The moments slow, or maybe you’re just so focused on your boyfriend, but every move he takes, you register it in anticipation. Even as he fills your space, somehow crowds around you, you can hear the click of the bottle cap, 

What doesn’t cross your mind is how closely he’s watching you, as well. Surely, some of it is making sure that he takes care of you, but it’s also just because you can be much more expressive than you are verbal. And it’s so delicious to watch the way your brows twitch when he slides the first finger in, quickly following with the second. 

On some other nights, he’d take his time. Maybe you can save that for tomorrow, or when you make it to the bedroom for the night. Right now, however, his thumb is already on your clit, pleasure shooting through your nerves in the best way possible. It’s the type of pleasure that brews underneath the surface, and you can feel the way it bubbles up in your core.

He opens you nice, spreading his fingers inside you while rubbing circles on your bundle of nerves. When he curls his fingers inside, you jerk forward, arms wrapping around his shoulders, fingers carding into his strands and fisting there.

He groans at the way you clench around him, the way you feel so wound up. Should he let you cum now, with his fingers alone? 

“Cum, baby. Cum for me,” he whispers into your ear. You nod senselessly, feeling your walls fight to suck him in so you can never let him go.

When your orgasm finally comes, soft whimpers tremble from your open mouth. He removes his fingers slowly, knowing you’re still sensitive.

Slowly, you come to, sensing the world around you. The jazz music still lulls on, quiet sounds of brass and string instruments. 

But you don’t want to come down so soon. So you lift your head from where it rests on his shoulder. His gaze is still lustfilled, and your muscles jump, still wanting more.

“Fuck me, please?” It comes out as a question, though you both know it’s a given. One of your hands slither between your bodies, going back to your earlier action of stroking him. He’s already hard, and your mind drifts to the thought of him fucking you. 

In that moment you take over, mind still foggy from your orgasm. You fumble for the bottle of lube, unceremoniously putting some on your hand and wrapping it around his cock to slick him up.

With his eyes clenched shut, he rests his forehead against yours, taking a second to breathe before letting you guide him inside, taking him in entirely.

And your body never gets used to him, never gets used to how he seems to encompass you, makes you forget where your body ends and his begins. He must be magical to make you incoherent in this manner.

His thrusts start off slow and hard, almost like he’s savouring the feeling of you around him. And it’s tantalizing, the way his cock feels. Your body just wants to inhale him in any way possible. So you wrap your legs around his hips, pulling him even closer so he can just grind into you. The moan you let out is long and sweet to his ears, makes him want to hear more, taste more.

You kiss as best you can, one hand digging into your waist to keep you steady, while the other makes its way between your bodies. 

“Fuck, fuck-” you moan out at the feeling of his fingers rubbing at your clit. It’s painful the way the pleasure gets dragged through you again. But you love it, love the way it confuses your senses to the point that you can’t help but breathe out an airy laugh.

“(Y/N),” groans out Seungmin into your ear. “Shit you feel so good.”

His thrusts become irregular, and soon you find yourself trying to hold off, counting down the breaths until he finally cums, fucking into you so hard that you know you’ll be able to feel him.

And when that happens, your orgasm cums out through the trembles of your legs around his waist and your arms around his shoulders. He kisses you breathlessly as you both come down, still connected and basking in the moment of you intertwined.

When you pull back, you grin. “Happy Early Birthday,” you say again. You’re sure he’ll hear it a few times this weekend.

He smirks, finally pulling away. It always feels weird at first, to be empty. But he still remains close, and it’s enough.

“Happy, indeed.” His gaze stays on you, searching. 

It’s your turn to inquire, “What are you thinking about?”

He gives a heavy sigh, and you ready yourself for some heartfelt words that will sound incredibly cheesy.

“I think I want cake now.”

You shove his chest automatically, giggling just as he does. 

“How about we shower first. You never like the feeling of bodily fluids drying on you.”

He turns his nose up. “Why do you have to call them ‘bodily fluids’? That just sounds nasty.”

“Should I just say you need to clean your dick, then?”

Your legs feel like jelly when you slide down from the counter top, but you regain your strength quickly, walking back to the bathroom down the hall. Seungmin follows close behind, complaining about your phrasings.

When he grabs you from behind, your peripheral catches the reflection coming from the window in the bedroom. To feel so free in this way, you know this kind of life you could easily acclimate to. And just as you suspected, this is the plan for the future: to love him as he loves you, to be in your own world with him as everything around you keeps going.

Val’s Note:

Somehow this ended up being perfect timing since our Seungmin’s birthday is coming soon! It seems like the Seungmin smut tag is lacking, and I understand why. He’s normally just this adorable guy, even when he’s not meaning to be. But we’re not about to just fly by him during this era in particular??? Hello????

If you’d like to make a request for the Dean Title Track fic, you can do so, here!

#skz smut #stray kids smut #kim seungmin smut #seungmin smut #stray kids x reader #seungmin x reader #stray kids fluff #skz fluff #seungmin fluff #stray kids imagines #stray kids reactions #stray kids headcanons

[tundrainafrica]

a song recommedation: for me the biggest levihan song is Skulls by Bastille. i don't know if you've ever heard it (or maybe it's a basic song for every levihan fan out there and everyone collectively knows about it)...it sounds like they're having a conversation the entire time. especially these lines: "when all of our friends are dead and just a memory, we're side by side, it's always been just you and me" "i don't want to rest in peace, i'd rather be a ghost that annoys you"

Title: Milestones

Summary: 

“And just like with every loss he had ever felt, Levi would count down the hours, the days, the months and the seasons following the death, labelling them each as a milestone to trudge past. In that aspect, Hange’s death was no different.”

Levi has this habit of counting milestones following the loss of a close comrade.

Link to cross-postings: AO3

Notes:  Thank you for the song rec anon! I made it a little homework for myself to listen to this song today while I did some grocery shopping and this really screamed Levihan, so loud I got a little inspired and I came up with this small ficlet.

The grieving process had always been respected.  

Soldiers could easily request time off to mourn the death of comrades and loved ones. In the survey corps, one or two days after a mission were usually given as a little gift for those who had given their lives and for those left to pick up the pieces.

It was a generous gift at face value but for many who had experienced too many deaths to count, it had started to twist into something a little short of cruel. 

Soldiers who had experienced more than enough deaths after all, eventually realized that the losses only completely sink in when they finally go back to their routines. The largest and strongest waves of grief come when the soldiers are left to navigate their routines, changing around their daily routines to fix what the dead had left behind. 

For some cruel reason, losses were rarely felt in the losses and the memorials that celebrated them. They were felt in routines that followed.

Levi had survived one of the longest in the survey corps and had experienced more losses than he could count. Having to quickly go back to routines after dealing with losses and having had to navigate these same routines peppered with continuous losses of squad members and teammates, Levi had developed a little habit, something to occupy himself between expeditions and missions. 

As Levi quickly noticed, that habit had gotten a little out of control that time around. 

Of course it would, there was nothing else to do. Levi had made the decision to retire. There were no expeditions to prepare for. The government was more than eager to grant humanity’s strongest pension already. He was also certain he couldn’t fight like before anymore either. 

And that extra time and mind space had given his grieving brain a little more wriggle room and consequently, a little more power. Levi found himself scrambling for a routine. With that free mental space, that habit decided to take control again. 

Levi had nothing much else to do but let it take over. When he was at his most vulnerable, when he was at his most alone, that habit had ended up becoming his best friend. 

He allowed that best friend to guide him once again as he went about the daily routine of a retired soldier. As it did with every loss, that best friend would religiously remind him that time continued to pass. 

And just like with every loss he had ever felt, Levi would count down the hours, the days, the months and the seasons following the death, labelling them each as a milestone to trudge past. In that aspect, Hange’s death was no different. 

At the same time, Hange’s death was special. Possibly because they had been working together for five years. Possibly because compared to the other times when he had wanted to grieve, he was in no pressure that time to recover quickly or go back to a routine. 

There were no distractions that time to fall back on. Levi was left with memories, milestones and himself. 

First sunset without Hange. 

The sunset and the gradual flashes of colors from yellow to orange to red. Levi had always found sunsets beautiful. Objectively, nothing had changed about that sunset. Somehow, Levi couldn't help but notice that he was seeing less colors than before. 

First Monday without Hange. 

Levi hated the typical Mondays in the office. The paperwork always made it unbearable. He had always preferred expeditions and combat. He was retired though and Levi was sure the paperwork would be nothing more than a memory moving forward. But reflecting on that monday in particular, he was certain he would have given up the world for it. 

First Friday without Hange. 

Depending on who won the argument or bet of the week, Fridays could be either drinking or heart-to heart-in-the-office-over-tea days. That particular Friday, Levi made sure to do both. He wasn’t sure what she would have wanted and it’s not like he could have asked her. 

First full moon without Hange

He didn’t even know he had built that habit of staring at the full moon until he looked out the window and felt time stop for a few seconds. In those few seconds, he was brought back to a time long ago, when Hange had been next to him, staring in complete awe at the full moon in front of them. He was too distracted by her then to have looked at the moon. 

Time started to move and Levi was reminded that he did not have much to distract himself anymore from the full moon in the sky. 

First spring without Hange 

Levi, when this war ends and I retire as commander, I really wanna explore the flora and fauna outside the walls. Let’s study them together!

He had tried to appreciate nature. He had tried to sit on the grass and just stare and touch the prettier or the uglier weeds that stuck out of the common grass. They were all weeds dotted with some flowers.  

Hange would have found them beautiful either way. He just found it mocking. 

First summer without Hange.

Hange loved ice cream. Ever since the first ice cream shop in Paradis opened. They made sure to get one as a treat after a hard day of work. Levi hadn’t gone back to the shop since he had last been there with Hange last summer. He wasn’t thinking of going back there either. 

First autumn without Hange. 

First autumn without Hange. 

Autumns were always special. The cool nights that only got colder and the days that only got shorter could have been depressing for most. Levi saw beauty in it because they built up to something else. 

They built up to her special day. That one special day Hange kept as a little treat for herself. She always decided what to do and she always made sure to rattle off her plans to him during down times between meetings and deliverables. 

Every year, she always had something she wanted to do and somewhere she wanted to go and every year, she always made sure Levi tagged along.

And as Levi thought back to their last conversations, he quickly figured out she had suggested one place she would have wanted to go with him. 

That passing thought she had shared during one of their conversations, that one night in the forest at least gave him direction. With her gone, Levi was the one who made the final decision to go there himself.

I came here for sanctuary

Away from the winds and the sounds of the city

I came here to get some peace

Way down deep where the shadows are heavy

In the first autumn after Hange’s death, In the forest glade where Hange had nursed him back to health, Levi had a small cabin built. Many could have concluded it as a capricious decision, even Levi himself. As he walked out and lay on the soft grass beneath him, he couldn’t help but think if he just closed his eyes and  focused on the familiar surroundings, he could imagine Hange next to him saying those words once again 

“Maybe we should just live here together.” 

I can't help but think of you

In these four walls my thoughts seem to wander

To some distant century

When everyone we know is six feet under

When Levi entered the newly built cabin and inspected it of any dust, he realized, maybe that was the first thing he had done for himself. He was already a retired soldier with nothing much to think about but himself. Levi was never one to constantly think of himself though, so he thought of everyone else.

When all of our friends are dead and just a memory

And we're side by side it's always been just you and me

For all to see

When our lives are over and all that remains

Are our skulls and bones let's take it to the grave

The cabin was cozy and there had been nothing much to clean. It kept the cool air of early autumn out and if he had been feeling a hint of self preservation, he probably would have stayed inside. His body was not as strong as it was before and even the night air of early autumn had him shivering. 

Self preservation had always been low on Levi’s priority list. Because of the lack of responsibilities that came with being retired, it managed to bump up to at least third. It was still the last thing on Levi’s mind though. 

The cold air and the rustle of the trees brought back countless memories at once. It brought back the faint pounding of the hammer, the swish of the bandages and her hitched breaths as she worked tirelessly as he slept. 

It evoked memories from times before that. 

Every year, when the wind was starting to get a little colder and the leaves a little redder, there was always one special day where Hange would take him out. 

To a place of her choice. It was that one day after all the commander would always spend for herself. The destination was always a different spot outside the walls. Sometimes it was a glade in the middle of the forest, sometimes it was a cave, sometimes it was a swamp. The places varied but the cool winds that came as the sun started to set were constant stimuli. The orange hues that stuck out of the green trees around him were also a constant view.

That night, Levi held his arms close to his chest, conserving warmth as the cool winds of autumn continued to barrel through his already battered body. He looked up at the trees around him, observing closely as some of the leaves started to stand out under the moonlight. The leaves were starting to take on a different shade and others were starting to fall off.

All those signs culminated into a scene and an experience Levi was all too familiar with. They were all heralding the coming of autumn

Hange’s special day always signaled the start of autumn.

Happy Birthday, Hange. That was the first birthday he’d be spending without her.

And his little habit made it so that he would never forget to spend it in the years to come. Even if he was painfully aware, he'd be spending every single one without her.

And hold me in your arms, hold me in your arms

I'll be buried here with you

And I'll hold in these hands all that remains

#levihan #levi x hange #levi x hanji #levihan fanfiction #drabble

[thatonealise]

On Worlds.

We inhabit them. We've christened ours Earth, but there are some who call Middle-Earth their home. I've heard many dashing tales from the Borderlands, and on all too many occasions guested in Azeroth. All these faraway lands are unique in their own right, sporting flora and fauna so diverse it really does make one wonder how such things came to be, whether out of nothing, or out of the wilds of human imagination.

I've always been under the impression that it would take a person too much blood, sweat and tears to fashion one. But here I stand, alone, and I need a place to set my latest overambitious and never-ending enterprise. It's a habit I'd always detested deep down, but came to respect over time, and now I say it is the prospect of making something grand, chipping away at it day and again, that gives me one more reason (among many, mind you) to get up early in the morning, and wonder what aspect of it am I going to work on next.

So it is, that I've been pondering on the sort of a world I would want you, the Player, to quench your wanderlust, and perhaps take your subconscious somewhere it has never travelled.

My research -- that hunt for inspiration, artistically speaking -- took me to media I have and have never ever witnessed, or heard, or read, or seen. I've browsed art, played this game and that; I've watched film and series, and I've brushed the dust off some of my forlorn literature. I've even dared to show up in the local library for once in an embarrassingly long (by a reader's standards) while, and borrow a "manuscript" or two I thought had a few interesting ideas. But, I have to admit, Stack Exchange remains my personal favourite. There are so many great minds there, with an equal knack for world-building, and even more thought-provoking questions granted inspiring answers. I can't recommend it enough.

On to the point, though, and it is that I've compiled a list of "archetypes" to take into consideration building my own world:

Earth-likes

What a surprise, huh? I believe it to be the most widespread archetype, and it is rather self-explanatory. An Earth-like world is more often than not a carbon copy of the blue planet (or our rather milky galaxy), with oceans and continents shuffled a notch to dodge the cosmic copyright, so to speak. It is again most common, and for a good reason: we know plenty about the science that keeps such worlds (and, by extension, our own) spinning, and the life living the way it does. It is a solid point of reference, backed with facts and studies so easy to look up on the web, or anywhere bookish, and it is always oh so tempting to use.

A few notorious examples taken from modern authors include...

...a continent under the influence of Celtic and Germanic myths; known as Middle-Earth of J. R. R. Tolkien.

...the super-continent of Stillness by Nora K. Jemisin.

...the Present World, to some extent a mirror of ours, and found in Kentaro Miura's Berserk.

...or the unforgiving deserts of Arrakis, credited to Frank Herbert.

...or Faerun, the iconic setting of Forgotten Realms.

...or even the Journey, courtesy of thatgamecompany, and the dunes one has to slide down rushing to the mountain's peak.

If at least two of the above ring a bell, you may have an idea of what brings all these worlds together, and by extension, what I think constitutes an Earth-like world. If not, then let me illustrate my point instead:

Go on, draw a comparison! It wouldn't take a particularly perceptive eye to notice that even a seemingly outlandish example, the desert planet of Arrakis, shines features not too unlike those we may find here on Earth, albeit "turned up to eleven," for the lack of a better expression. They are planets filled with oceans, and continents in between the oceans, most of them, and in general they follow the same rules we follow in our universe: desert storms rise as the wind blows, plates collide to erect mountains, and sentient life is soon to usher in an age of civilisation. Physics and passage of time progress the world as you would expect them to.

Naturally, there will be a degree of variation between Earth-likes. George Martin's Westeros, for one, is an otherwise conventional continent subject to unconventional seasons, some so abnormal they shape entire cultures -- consider the Long Night, for instance, and the impact it had on the Westerosi folklore.

Let's touch on Arrakis again: it is too an Earth-like world at the core, that suffered from a speculated misfortune of a near-miss encounter with a comet, and what once might have been an arid and bountiful world has now been left a scorching desert inhabited by massive sandworms that have evolved to swim through the sands as though they were oceans, and gobble up the teeny-tiny human wanderers crossing their "soil." A few similar worlds come to mind: Kharak, just as extreme and featured in the Homeworld series, and the much more famous Tatooine, the brainchild of George Lucas.

This big quirk -- extreme weather, unpredictable seasons, or morphed geology, or fictional species -- I prefer to dub "the Twist." It is something, a phenomenon or fact of life, that sets this world apart from ours -- something you can use to suggest that the world at hand is its own, and not Earth put in an alternate reality. Extreme biomes of Arrakis or Kharak, and bizarre seasons of Westeros, are just two examples of the Twist. Magic and magical beings found on Azeroth, or in Faerun, is another.

While the Twist is found in all archetypes, I'm of the opinion that Earth-likes depend on it more than others. Take away the Twist, and you will be left with yet another exoplanet, abiding by the rules we all know and, to be frank, find them too mundane to entertain us, or to leave a lasting memory.

As you'd expect, this was the first archetype I visited and considered for my game. The Twist I wish to feature, to go hand in hand with game mechanics I have devised, is the marriage (or clash, depending on your point of view) of science and magic, and the many ways cultures practicing either-or-both would balance them out, or tip the scales in one's favour if they so desire. I'm also very keen on endangering the Player on their journey, which I want to be perilous, and for it to matter more than the destination. Think of it as a world of vagabonds and gallivants, travelling from one bizarre place to a place twice as otherworldly, and embarking on life-threatening quests.

I've considered several worlds, most notably Kharak -- whose native species, the Kushan, traverse it on trucks and jeeps and other sand-crawling machinery. Cities on that scorched planet exist as only safe havens around, surrounded with lifeless sands, and to make it from one city to another is a dangerous affair indeed. The theme resonated with me quite a bit, but I did not find desert planets a good choice for my game, for many reasons:

It is, as the name suggests, a giant desert. There aren't that many biomes (just two, in fact, if you count largely mechanical cities as one) for the Player to explore, and there is little challenge in generating them on the fly, as opposed to a more varied world.

Throwing in arid biomes we discover in worlds like Middle-Earth or Narnia, or Faerun, felt far too conventional to me, and in my mind there would not be much room for an apocalyptic event so crippling as to make exploring this world nigh fatal.

Even if I dodged the desert altogether and rolled with a different biome or biomes, I'd still have to balance between two problems I doubt are easy to solve: featuring more biodiversity in a fundamentally monolithic environment, or more extremes in an Earth-like world that would not fit in very well.

Banality. Banality was a major concern for me, as there are oh so, so many Earth-likes out there in the industry, and the last thing I wish for my little side project is to offer yet another one. No sir!

Scope was the last but nevertheless just as important. It is difficult to fill up a giant continent, or continentS, with enough quests and points of interest to keep the Player invested. It is hard enough to produce enough scripted content, a la World of Warcraft, and it is harder still to delegate the creative matters to an automaton (Talking about you, Left 4 Dead!). Earth-likes, to my understanding, necessitate imposing scale, that I can not hope to achieve neither alone nor in company.

So I scratched this archetype off my list, and again I went searching every nook and cranny of the game industry and beyond for patterns and clues to make into archetype...

Otherlands

Perhaps not the best title to describe a world so otherworldly as to defy all laws native to our universe, but I nonetheless thought it described what I had in mind for such worlds best. Exotics, Otherlands, Alternate Realities, you name it: they spit on the natural laws we've always known, and turn what we consider to be natural upside down, from a relative point of view (I'd image they'd think we earthlings bend their ideas of what is natural, vice versa). They more often than not have so little in common with a conventional; continental world, that as a Player, you ought to be born anew, in a sense, as you have to come to terms with the new reality, and learn the rules alien to your human brain-box.

While not so abundant in fiction or film, there is an unexpected plethora of otherworldly examples found in video games. I suspect, as little more than a humble writer and not at all a qualified game designer, that the blame (the reason, rather) is at least in part to be pinned on the freedom of mechanics worlds detached from all physical boundaries allow. You're no longer on Earth; seldom even in our universe, and more often in a dimension forged by game designers to fulfill a very blunt purpose: to serve the gameplay, in full. I'd imagine it is times easier to set a game built on mechanics hostile to laws of physics somewhere abstract; mallable, in a way, to the designer's whim.

Thinking of examples took me to these fine pieces of digital entertainment:

William Chyr's Manifold Garden is, to me, a quintessential Otherland. It is set in an abstract world wrapping on itself, juxtaposing impossible geometry against Euclidean space. About the only link to our reality it maintains is the presence of gravity. Look up and down, try interacting with the objects or solving the puzzles, and you will very soon understand this is NOT the realm accomodative of your earthly instincts.

Alice: Madness Returns, too, features an Otherland (not Otherlands, fellow Alice fans!), a level set among the clouds, far above in the sky -- none other than Cardbridge! Playing cards dwell there, and glide along the windy streams to form marvellous paper castles in the sky, and bridges, and gates for Alice to cross on her way to the evil (is she really?) Queen's heartful (quite literally) domain. Like in Manifold Garden, physics still permeates this world, but the only "actor" it appears to affect is Alice herself. All that surrounds her, on the other hand, behaves in a way we would think odd.

Oddly enough, Valve's Ricochet is one more example of an Otherland, the way I see it. It's set in a pitch black void, a pocket dimension of a sort, and constricts its gunslinging inhabitants to a small archipelago of quasi-futuristic-looking platforms. It is in many ways abstract and disconnected from what we would brand a "real" world; akin more to a simulation than something even an advanced civilisation would be able to orchestrate in the vacuum of deep space. It instead serves a solitary purpose: to be an open and clear arena for the Players to pull off dextereous ricochets and physics-bending leaps from one spot to the next. There are no other earthly rules to govern this world, and beyond the dark arena is the thrice as dark abyss.

Of course, by this logic, one could consider more abstract games along the lines of Tetris Effect or even Pinball Dreams, to also fit under the same umbrella of otherworldness, and I reckon they would be right. Both games take place in places foreign to our expectation for a, dare I say, traditional setting. This is not to say, oh no, that Otherlands belong to just the games -- far from it! Otherlands are to be found in many other media.

Off the top of my head, I'd count that one scene from the cult-classic 2001: A Space Odyssey, as a "classic" Otherland in a mind-boggling nutshell:

The message I'm trying to convey, if not clear, is that Otherlands are very stubborn, and insistent on breaking you as an earthly thinker; to augment your mind and let it comprehend and utilise the new reality and the rules it enforces, like one would use the laws of our universe. "When in Rome," is the mantra they will have you etch into memory, until you think and interact with it as though you had never known another home.

The entire world, in other words, is one big Twist, standing in stark contrast to the little twists applied here and there to an Earth-like dimension. Furthermore, one could even assert that the Twist in an Otherland is turned on its head -- whereas in an Earth-like Twists were other-landish phenomena many in number but little in scope -- the Twists in an Otherland are instead few and far between, and grounded in reality. They are the links linking an Otherland to the Earth-like law. Say, physics would be very much expected in an Earth-like world, but treated as an exotic Twist in an Otherland.

To be a little more precise, an Otherland does not bother to stay true to the mechanics we think mundane and natural. It instead moulds or kills them outright, and throws itself at the mercy of the designer's wants and wishes.

Otherlands were an option, but not the option, that I'd choose for my world. I cherish the freedom they bestow upon you as a designer, but it alone did not convince me to opt for this archetype. Simply put, the downs outweighed the ups:

The world I wish to create will host fantasy far too Tolkien-esque to distance so much from Earth and earthly law. There is, in my view, a strong pull among many dungeon-crawling aficionados towards fantasy, and fantasy I will deliver. My own strain of fantasy, to be clear, but it will nevertheless mandate a degree of reality deemed by me too Earth-like to belong in an Otherland. I just can not see, at this time, a world of fantasy that is also an Otherland, not if I want my world to radiate welcoming familiarity.

This game being an open-ended RPG, it is difficult for me to envision it in an abstract environment. It calls, as I see it, for landmarks sensible to someone never ever "tainted" by the quirks of Otherlands, familiar and homely in a way, based in laws of physics and around points of interest grounded in our reality. Elevating it to be the Twist of an Otherland, brings the latter much closer to an Earth-like, but not quite. Neither this nor that, if you will, and that in turn leads me to the next and last archetype...

Near-Earths

Should you ever run into the same predicament as yours truly did in the paragraph above, I'd strongly advise you to consider Near-Earths. Not entirely Earth-like, but also too Earth-like to fit as an Otherland, a Near-Earth world is based to some considerable extent in the laws and traits of an Earth-like. It takes the best of both worlds -- mind-boggling Twists of an Otherland and experiential familiarity of an Earth-like -- and mixes them up to shape up something in-between.

Near-Earth remains ultimately an extension of an Earth-like world at its core, but to set itself apart it puts an emphasis on large-scale Twists -- that would be considered too outlandish for an Earth-like. One popular trope among Near-Earths is to feature earthly topology, strewn around the universe in the form of isles or even whole continents. Fundamental laws that define an Earth-like it bends to a fictional degree, but preserves the essentials, such as planets or stars or faimiliar dimensions, that make up our universe. Thus the link between our universe and that lives on, and it's easy for a newcomer to the world to find their way around with little to no hand-holding required.

I can't help but conjure up a few shots from Treasure Planet, which I gather needs no introduction, to illustrate my line of thought. Take one of the more iconic stills from this flawed masterpiece, R.L.S. Legacy docked at the spaceport of Crescentia:

It is in many ways familiar, I think, to anyone who has ever been to any run-of-the-mill harbour, except that ginormous frigate appears to stay suspended mid-air, not even ropes to hold it in place, and not at all swaying side to side on the high seas as one would assume. No, in this universe carpenters and shipwrigts build 18th century vessels propelled by internal combustion engines to fly through the breathable expanse that they call Ethereum. Indeed, there it is possible to breathe in space, so long as one stays careful not to lean too much on the taffrail and fall into the Ethereum proper, doomed forever to be a cosmic castaway.

Treasure Planet is very representative of a Near-Earth world, as I reckon the aforementioned scene proves. While grounded in culture and (partly) science of our universe, it strays a lot from what our scientists would deem feasible, to the point that it is fundamentally different from our universe in some respect, such as there existing a breatheable atmosphere everywhere in their universe, but not so fundamental as to defy every law of science we know in our world. Physics, and planets, and other celestial bodies and phenomena still exist there, albeit altered in a variety of ways.

Another such example would the High Wilderness, that we're told to travel aboard a literal locomotive, in the brilliant game and one of my many favourites -- Sunless Skies:

It, too, features all the same biomes and structures and many laws with a basis in our universe, and like Treasure Planet, it introduces a major twist: the space beyond the confines of Earth (which does exist in Sunless Skies, and generally follows our history with significant deviations perpetrated by Masters of the Bazaar) is an intricate maze of seldom interlocked and often overlapping topology, stacked on top of one another, and filled with an atmosphere reminiscent of Ethereum, breathable but named a different name.

It is still familiar enough to us as earthlings, and it would not take a seasoned Otherlander to pick the thing up and know the rules of play by instinct. Sure, we are driving a locomotive through time and space, and pass by living stars that govern all, called the Judgements, but the spaces we traverse and people we meet and phenomena we witness are not confusing in the slightest. Shrouded in mystery, maybe, but ultimately sensisble if given enough thought. There is not another dimension for us to consider, and impossible geometry wrapping on itself to comprehend, as seen in Manifold Garden. Nay.

On the Judgements, as a side note, I've found them to be an interesting twist in and of themselves: they are intended to be the law-makers that decide what is real in this world, and what is not. Kill, or posses them, and the world will return to a chaotic state, easily a contender for the quintessential Otherland.

One last sample for you to taste would be the city-state of Sigil, the center of all planes in the planar world of Planescape (pardon the tautology!). Also an earthly world in many ways, it departs from tradition by dabbling in the ideas of interplanar travel, and whole planes of existence drifting from place to place depending on the belief of its denizens. Name me a single spiral-shaped medieval town suspended miles in the air:

I hope my criteria is now clear, or clear-er, better still if as a day. A Near-Earth has some of its fundamental laws thrown away, or meddled with, but there is always at least some foundation identical to that of an Earth-like.

Enter the Wild

In the end, I had a choice to make; a choice of three options, all of which bore pros and posed cons. Weighing all of them took me several restless nights, about a week in total, and some creative encouragement from a colleague, who suggested I turn to Sunless Skies-esque worlds for inspiration: islands floating in the sky, nurturing islanders and their peculiar settlements. I fell in love with the idea in a heartbeat, and on and on I went searching for references. It implied to me a Near-Earth, and all the marks of distinguishment I outlined before for other archetypes pointed to Near-Earths as the perfect fit for my world.

I settled for a few points of reference, among them...

Variably-sized islands and quasi-continents of Dragon Hungers, complete with pocket cultures and hosts of creatures that dwell there:

"Outdated" and outlandish means of transportation between the islands, like airships or fire-breathing dragons, a la Sunless Skies:

Celestial bodies of Treasure Planet, like black holes or nebulas, making an appearance, though toned down a bit to ditch some of their more destructive and lethal properties. A black hole wouldn't spaghettify you in the blink of an eye, but falling into one will nonetheless bring a swift (albeit not quite so fast and unavoidable) end to your career:

What they amounted to, ultimately, is an amalgamation of varied islands, some as big as a continent, others as small as my balcony, and all sporting ecosystems never-before-seen on most other islands. They are suspended in the sky, fortunate to have a man-friendly atmosphere, with a devilish twist I'd rather keep a secret for the time being.

Wannabe heroes make their living sailing through this sky aboard mighty airships or fire-breathing dragons (among many other means of transportation), from one island and on to the next, undertaking quests and accepting commissions from the locals to earn themselves some sustenance. It's a floating world of vagabonds, gallivanters, and legends-in-the-making.

OR! Those same gallivanters may find a particular island, or spot upon on the island, very tempting to settle on. Indeed, if they so desire, players would be able to adopt a sedentary lifestyle, and see what the wilds beyond the comfort of their heart might bring one treacherously blissful morning...

Us locals have entitled this universe the Wild. Enter at your own risk, traveller, for you may never return. This theme seemed to me like a good middle-ground between all the problems I've outlined reviewing archetypes:

Scope was confined to the typical bounds of an island. Some are bigger than others, no doubt, but all of them are a far cry from the usual dimensions of a continent. A narrow scope, as such, is a scope amiable to developers limited in number, or readiness to tackle an enormous landmass.

Narrowed scope in turn shortens the distance one must travel to leave one point of interest for another. We're feeding two birds with one scone -- there is no need for us, as developers, to fill up the lands betwixt with something for you to do, and you won't have to drag yourself through an overstretchesd piece of half-arsed (pardon my French) filler to finally reach the objective that caught your eye in the first place.

At last, as my colleague pointed out, islands in space are capital. Done before to be sure, that road has been travelled many times (and so were most others), but it is still the Earth-likes that proudly keep at the victorious spree as the dominant archetype among the developers. A Near-Earth to me felt like a fair and much-wanted change of scenery, for once in a blue moon.

A floating world shattered into many habitable pieces by far imposes so many more factors upon the cultures, languages, civilisation, technology, and nature of the wild, that to turn it down in favour of an all-too-researched Earth-like world seemed a lazy way out the massive creative problem, I think, many people of letters and pencil and other trades would be thrilled to approach.

P.S. I do realise all my scribbled judgements are arbitrary, and the lines separating Near-Earth from Earth-likes, from Otherlands, is apparently fine, and entirely subjective. These are little more than my five cents; my five thoughts on the subject, and I personally found grouping these worlds into archetypes a good "bookmark" that I've used and will likely come back to designing my own worlds. Peace.

#worldbuilding #devlog #gamedev

[aboveallarescuer]

GRRM interviews about (or mentioning) Dany - Part 1

I went to So Spake Martin and collected excerpts of GRRM's interviews that talked about Dany in some way. Some observations here:

I didn't have access to broken/unavailable links or newspapers that require subscription.

I didn't get video or podcast interviews, only ones that were written down.

I also added some excerpts about how he enjoys grey characters or how he wants to be "realistic" and other topics that may relate ... not necessarily to Dany's character, but to his writing in general. It may be useful for some metas, even if they should not be divorced from the actual text.

I didn't mind collecting interviews about the same topic.

Maybe I did a poor job collecting these interviews or the SSM is incomplete, but, in any case, there are still several key interviews missing; I couldn't find the ones about how GRRM relates to Dany's character or how he wishes the Targaryens were black, for instance. 

Even with these limitations in mind, there is still quite a bit to dig into here.

November 1998

The Targaryens have heavily interbred, like the Ptolemys of Egypt. As any horse or dog breeder can tell you, interbreeding accentuates both flaws and virtues, and pushes a lineage toward the extremes. Also, there's sometimes a fine line between madness and greatness. Daeron I, the boy king who led a war of conquest, and even the saintly Baelor I could also be considered "mad," if seen in a different light. ((And I must confess, I love grey characters, and those who can be interperted in many different ways. Both as a reader and a writer, I want complexity and subtlety in my fiction))

 December 1998

Was it a conscious decision to paint things in grey, killing off good guys, etc.

Definitely a conscious decision. Both as a reader and a writer, I prefer my plots to be unpredictable and my characters to be painted in shades of grey, rather than in blacks and whites.

 July 1999

Just out of being curious how a writer goes about his work -- do you generally write a certain POVs chapters in batches? Or are Dany's chapters, given how generally unconnected they are to the rest of the books as she goes along her own plot thread, easier to do that way? I suppose the momentum can help with a tough character.

Yes, I generally get in a groove on a particular character and write several chapters or chunks of chapters at once, before hitting a wall. When I do hit a wall, I switch to another character. Some characters are easier to write and some harder, however. Dany and Bran have always been toughest, maybe because they are heaviest on the magical elements... also, Bran is the youngest of POV kids, and very restricted as well because of his legs. At the other end of the spectrum, the Tyrion chapters often seem to write themselves. The same was true for Ned.

 Jon was not born "more than 1 year" before Dany... probably closer to eight or nine months or thereabouts.

November 1999

Also, just how much impact did the Rhoynar have on the modern customs of Dorne? Beyond the gender-blind inheritance laws, the couple of Rhoynish gods that smallfolk might have turned into saints or angelic-type beings, and perhaps the round shields, that is. In particular, given that Nymeria was a warrior-queen, is there a certain amazon tradition?

The Rhoynar did impact Dorne in a number of ways, some of which will be revealed in later books. Women definitely have more rights in Dorne, but I would not call it an "Amazon" tradition, necessarily. Nymeria had more in common with someone like Daenerys or Joan d'Arc than with Brienne or Xena the Warrior Princess.

September 2000

It has been my intention from the start to gradually bring up the amount of magic in each successive volume of A Song of Ice and Fire, and that will continue. I will not rule out the possibility of a certain amount of "behind the scenes" magic, either. But while sorcerous events may impact on my characters, as with Renly or Lord Beric or Dany, their choices must ultimately remain their own.

 November 2000

This third Targaryen might very well be -not- a Targaryen, to quote his exact words... "Three heads of the dragon... yes... but the third will not nessesarily BE a Targaryen..."

 He mentioned his frustration that Tranter books don't have maps since Tranter tends to describe journeys using ALL the available landmarks (I also stupidly complained about there not being a map of the landmass Dany's on in the books, and he VERY politely pointed out to me that there was one in SoS [O the shame!]). 

 December 2000

NG: A Song of Ice and Fire undergoes a very interesting progression over its first three volumes, from a relatively clear scenario of Good (the Starks) fighting Evil (the Lannisters) to a much more ambiguous one, in which the Lannisters are much better understood, and moral certainties are less easily attainable. Are you deliberately defying the conventions and assumptions of neo-Tolkienian Fantasy here?

GRRM: Guilty as charged.

The battle between good and evil is a legitimate theme for a Fantasy (or for any work of fiction, for that matter), but in real life that battle is fought chiefly in the individual human heart. Too many contemporary Fantasies take the easy way out by externalizing the struggle, so the heroic protagonists need only smite the evil minions of the dark power to win the day. And you can tell the evil minions, because they're inevitably ugly and they all wear black.

I wanted to stand much of that on its head.

In real life, the hardest aspect of the battle between good and evil is determining which is which.

 NG: You've frequently expressed admiration for Jack Vance. How Vancean is A Song of Ice and Fire in conception and style? In particular, does the narrative thread featuring the exotic wanderings of Daenerys Targaryen function in part as a tribute to Vance, to his picaresque inventiveness?

GRRM: Jack Vance is the greatest living SF writer, in my opinion, and one of the few who is also a master of Fantasy. His The Dying Earth (1950) was one of the seminal books in the history of modern Fantasy, and I would rank him right up there with Tolkien, Dunsany, Leiber, and T.H. White as one of the fathers of the genre.

All that being said, I don't think A Song of Ice and Fire is particularly Vancean. Vance has his voice and I have mine. I couldn't write like Vance even if I tried... and I did try, once. The first Haviland Tuf story, "A Beast for Norn," was my attempt to capture some of Vance's effects, and Tuf is a very Vancean hero, a distant cousin to Magnus Ridolph, perhaps. But what that experiment taught me was that only Jack Vance can write like Jack Vance

 NG: Three more volumes of A Song of Ice and Fire wait to be written. What shape do you expect them to take, and are their titles finalized as yet?

GRRM: Yes, three more volumes remain. The series could almost be considered as two linked trilogies, although I tend to think of it more as one long story. The next book, A Dance With Dragons, will focus on the return of Daenerys Targaryen to Westeros, and the conflicts that creates. After that comes The Winds of Winter. I have been calling the final volume A Time For Wolves, but I am not happy with that title and will probably change it if I can come up with one that I like better.

 You tend to write protagonists with strongly negative personality quirks, people who certainly don't fit the standard mold of a hero. People like Tuf in the Tuf Voyaging series, and Stannis and Tyrion inSong of Ice and Fire. Do you deliberately inject your characters with unattractive elements to make readers consciously think about whether they like them and why?

Martin: [Laughs.] Well, I don't know that I'd choose the word "unappealing," but I look for ways to make my characters real and to make them human, characters who have good and bad, noble and selfish, well-mixed in their natures. Yes, I do certainly want people to think about the characters, and not just react with a knee-jerk. I read too much fiction myself in which you encounter characters who are very stereotyped. They're heroic-hero and dastardly-villain, and they're completely black or completely white. And that's boring, so far as I'm concerned. It's also unreal. If you look at real human history, even the darkest villains had some good things about them. Perhaps they were courageous, or perhaps they were occasionally compassionate to an enemy. Even our greatest heroes had weaknesses and flaws.

 There seem to be two different styles competing throughout the series: historical fantasy in the Seven Kingdoms series, and a softer Roger Zelazny/Arabian Nights style for the scenes abroad. Is there a conscious split between the two for you, or is it just an aspect of the setting?

Martin: I try to vary the style to fit each of the characters. Each character should have his or her own internal voice, since we're inside their heads. But certainly the setting has great impact. Dany is moving through exotic realms that are perhaps stranger to us than Westeros, which is more based in the medieval history with which we're more familiar in the West, so perhaps those chapters seem more colorful and fanciful.

 You do tend to be very brutal to your characters.

Martin: Well, yes. But you know, I think there's a requirement, even in fantasy--it comes from a realm of the imagination and is based on fanciful worlds, but there's still a necessity to tell the truth, to try to reflect some true things about the world we live in. There's an inherent dishonesty to the sort of fantasy that too many people have done, where there's a giant war that rips the world apart, but no one that we know is ever really seriously inconvenienced by this. You see the devastated villages where unnamed peasants have lived, and they're all dead, but the heroes just breeze through, killing people at every hand, surviving those dire situations. There's a falsehood to that that troubles me. A writer can choose not to write about war. You don't have to write about war if that's not a subject that interests you, or you find it too brutal. But if you are going to write about war, I think you need to tell the truth about it, and the truth is that people die, and people die in ugly ways, and even some of the good guys die, even people who are loved.

 June 2001

I'm a bit concerned about Dany's skills as a commander. To succeed with the invasion of Westeros, I believe she will need a lot of sound military advice (both tactically and strategically). What's your thoughts on this issue?

She will need counsel, yes... she will also need to learn to tell the good counsel from the bad, which is perhaps the hardest task of all.

 Was it difficult to you when you wrote Dany's scene with the slavers in SOS? Was that one of the moments where the character spoke to you and changer their direction? Cause for me that act of Dany's seemed out of character. I know she dislikes slavery, but she must have killed an awful lot of innocent people there, plus her motives to me seemed suspect. Yes she freed the slaves, but she also got a large army for nothing. And right after she left the slavery started up again.

Dany is still very young. She has lessons to learn. That was one of them. It is not as easy to do good as it might seem, no matter how noble your intentions.

 February 2002

1. Was Mirri Maz Duur telling the truth when she told Daenerys Targaryen that the latter could never have children again?

I am sure Dany would like to know. Prophecy can be a tricky business.

 3. Is Daenerys Targaryen or anyone in her entourage able to tell whether her dragons are male or female? (Is the question relevant to dragons?)

Not yet.

 4. Daenerys Targaryen believed that her brother Rhaegar loved Lyanna Stark. Does she also believe that Lyanna Stark returned this love?

Dany is not sure what to believe.

 5. Since all of their mothers died, who gave Jon Snow, Daenerys Targaryen and Tyrion Lannister their names?

Mothers can name a child before birth, or during, or after, even while they are dying. Dany was most like named by her mother, Tyrion by his father, Jon by Ned.

 March 2002

3) Is your world round. I mean if Dany traveled far enough east couldnt she come to the other side of westeros?

Yes, the world is round. Might be a little larger than ours, though. I was thinking more like Vance's Big Planet.... but don't hold me to that.

 Oh, stupid fan question. I've been trying to get a visual of what the Quarth look like in my mind. In terms of what race they might be in our world. Tall and pale but I don't believe their hair color was mentioned. Would they be Western European looking? Slavic? Whenever their culture is mentioned I always think of either Persian or Indians.

I have tried to mix and match ethnic and cultural traits in creating my imaginary fantasy peoples, so there are no direct one-for-one correspodences. The Dothraki, for example, are based in part on the Mongols, the Alans, and the Huns, but their skin coloring is Amerindian. The Qartheen are an even more exotic hybrid, and offhand I don't recall where I got all the cuttings.

 April 2002

[Shaun] How do you view Dany's place in the series. She seems an heroic character to me, but the writeups on the back covers always speak of her as a villain...

[+GeorgeRRMartin] to shaun ignore the blurbs on the back cover and make up your own mind who is the hero and who is the villain

 [Erix] Dany will be betrayes 3 times. Did ser Jorah betray here once for money? so does this make it 2 betrayels so far?

[+GeorgeRRMartin] to erix no comment (twice!)

 He said that in his original plan (when he wanted to write a trilogy) the Red Wedding would take place in book one, and Dany's landing in Westeros in book two. Now he says that Dany's arrival in Westeros will take place in book 5, A Dance with Dragons.

 December 2003

Shaw: You created Jon as a bastard and an outcast from the get-go. Yet he's also one of the most attractive characters. Did you choose to make Jon a bastard to make him more attractive as an "underdog," or was his bastard birth central to the shaping of his character itself?

Martin: Almost all the characters have problems in some way. Very few of my major viewpoint characters have all the answers or have an easy path through life. They all have burdens to bear. Some of them are women in a society that doesn't necessarily value women or give them a lot of power or independence. Tyrion of course is a dwarf which has its own challenges. Dany is an exile, powerless, penniless, at the mercy of other people, and Jon is a bastard. These things shape their characters. Your experiences in life, your place in life inevitably is going to change who you are.

 Shaw: As the novels unfold, Jon becomes increasingly identified with the northern cold and ice, just as Dany is closely tied to the southern heat and fire. Will these two ultimately embody the central image of the series, Ice and Fire?

Martin: That's certainly one way to interpret it. That's for my readers to argue out. That may be one possible meaning. There may be a secondary meaning, or a tertiary meaning as well.

 Shaw: Are all the Targaryans immune to fire?

Martin: No, no Targaryans are immune to fire. The thing with Dany and the dragons, that was just a one-time magical event, very special and unique. The Targaryans can tolerate a bit more heat than most ordinary people, they like really hot baths and things like that, but that doesn't mean they're totally immune to fire, no. Dragons, on the other hand, are pretty much immune to fire.

 February 2004

Jon and Dany will be the two focal characters of AFfC (in the sort of way in which Ned was the focal character of AGoT). 

 May 2005

He doesn't feel that it's fair to call his work gratuitous. He wants the reader to live vicariously though his books (a function of fantasy writing), feel the characters emotions. If a character is at a feast, he wants the reader to smell the food, experience Dany's discomfort at being served an unappetizing dish. The same with the sex scenes-he wants his readers to feel like they are there.

Another bit of information that I found interesting- we *WILL* hear about the POVs who will not have front stage as it were, but will have it in ADwD. The reports of those chars will be somewhat garbled and messy as can be expected from any news that has travelled that distance and is that important. ex) Varys' manipulation of the Dany information, or Theon's skinning of the miller's information (we didn't know it wasn't Bran and Rickon until later). *THOSE* are the kind of reports we will see in AFFC about the missing POVs. We will get information on them, but have no idea which parts, if any, are correct.

I have some more things to add about things I asked, but I will probably trickle out things as I sober up and recall them. :p

The following will show up in ADwD:

Arya, Bran, Jon, Dany, Tyrion, and Asha (she will be in both books, as she gets involved in affairs of the North)

[Note: Spoiler POV redacted] has the most number of chapters in AFFC, while Dany has the most in ADwD. Also, the number of Tyrion chapters is going up from 4 to 7 in ADwD (his storyline is basically beinbg expanded).

 GRRM said Dany and the Wall is excluded. That removes Dany and probably Tyrion plus the Wall which presumably means Jon and Davos. 

Dragons will deal with Daenerys and the North. He decided to split by character, rather than in the middle of the story, as he wanted a complete book, rather than FfC part I and II.

This is no hoax.

I swear it by ice and fire. I swear that I will never post again should this prove false. I swear I will never touch wine again, if it is not true.

George said it is done.

But he had to make a major change. It had grown too large.

Daenerys will not appear. There will be little if any action in the North. Those chapters will be moved into the next book, which should come out shortly thereafter.

AFFC will be the size of AGoT.

 The next book will still be called aDwD. (Dany will be in it after all). 

 That being said, Dany will be presented with a map of the world from a fellow whose name I cannot remember because the pronunciation was very odd indeed.

 There was some talk about the Targaryen bloodline and how it worked when there weren't enough siblings to marry. Uncle might marry niece or aunt, nephew. There were also cousins in that family at one time. 

 Dany has more chapters than anyone. He also said that Dany's love life is going to become "extremely complex"

 Parris has proclaimed that Arya cannot die! (No, she wasn't there :( but he mentioned it when someone said that he's not allowed to kill Dany)

So yeah, in short, book not done but soon, lots of Dany, the Ironborn, and the Dornish, and Renly and Loras were INDEED knocking boots.

October 2005

The main point of discussion was the reason for the five-year wait since A Storm of Swords. I'm sure most of you know this already but, briefly, he wanted a 5-year gap between ASOS and ADWD to allow the kids to grow up. Some characters, mainly the children and Daenerys, really benefited from this, but most of the other characters suffered and the book was degenerating into a flashback-fest. After about a year he decided that wasn't working, ditched everything, and started again. 

 November 2005

His analogy is that the series is a symphony and each book is a movement, and explained that he likes each character arc to have some sort of finale in each book, whether it's on a cliffhanger, or a completion of some phase of the character's story arc (or death hehe). Ultimately, he decided to divide it geographically as you all know, since Dany's story is taking place in Martinland's China, and the rest is taking place in Martinland's England.

 One man asked whether George ever learns of people naming their kids after his characters. He pointed the guy to his website, where he even has baby pictures of Sansas, Aryas, even a Daenarys, Nymeria, Eddard, Bran, Chataya, and several Cerseis. He won't take credit for the Jons, though (hehe). It was great; someone in the audience made a crack about Cersei, and someone else said "as long as they aren't twins"). He mentioned meeting a little girl whose parents had named her Daenarys and he made a joke about how she was really going to hate spelling that when she gets to first grade. He also once got a letter from a 23-year-old girl named Lya whose mother said she was named after a character in one of his stories (A Song for Lya) and wanted to know who the heck Lya was. George sent her a copy! Hehe. He said he finds it flattering overall, but thinks it's a bad idea when the story isn't done yet and some of the characters will come to a bad end, and then those parents will be pissed with him!

 He was asked or mentioned most of the stuff that's already been covered, but one thing he talked about that I found particularly interesting was Romanticism. He said that he is a romantic, in the classical sense. He said the trouble with being a romantic is that from a very early age you keep having your face smashed into the harshness of reality. That things aren't always fair, bad things happen to good people, etc. He said it's a realists world, so romantics are burned quite often. This theme of romantic idealism conflicting with harsh reality is something he finds very dramatic and compelling, and he weaves it into his work. Specifically he mentioned that the Knight exemplifies this, as the chivalric code is one of the most idealistic out there, protection of the weak, paragon of all that is good, fighting for truth and justice. The reality was that they were people, and therefore could do horrible cruel things, rape, pillage, wanton killing, made all the more striking or horrifying because it was in complete opposition to what they were "supposed" to be. Really interesting stuff.

 At the San Diego signing, I asked GRRM at the Q&A, "Besides Dany's dragons, have all the Targaryen dragons been descendants of Aegon the Conquerors three?" GRRM answered "yes".

 And that one of the things he regrets losing from the POV split is that he was doing point and counterpoint with the Dany and Cersei scenes--showing how each was ruling in their turn.

 Q: 5-year gap?

A: It worked for characters like Arya and Dany but not so much for the adults or those who had a lot of action coming. He was writing chapters where Jon thought, "Well, not a lot has happened these past five years, it's been kinda nice." And Cersei chapters where she thought, "Well, I've had to kill sooo many people the last five years." So he ended up dropping it. He said he would have done it sooner if he hadn't told so many fans about it. And there is no gap anymore. "If a twelve-year old has to conquer the world, then so be it."

 (Petyr is just Peter, for example.)

Some he did say during the course of the evening:

Cersei = Sir-say

Jaime = Jamie (I think that was obvious but just in case)

Sansa = Sahn-sa

Tyrion = Tear-ion

Arya = Ar-Ya (Ex, Are ya?)

Daenerys = Dane-err-is

 TARGARYEN KINGS

SUBMITTED BY: AMOKA

[Note: The following information was sent to Amok for his contribution to the Fantasy Flight Games artbook.]

These are all Targaryens, of course, so there should be a strong family resemblence from portrait to portrait. All of them (except as noted) will have the purple eyes and silver-gold hair for which House Targaryen is noted. All of them should be wearing crowns... the same crown in many of the pix, though it will change once or twice along the way, as noted.

The hard part will be making each of the kings an individual, despite the similarities, and evoking each one's character through facial features, pose, clothing, background, and other elements in the portrait.

Here's the lineup:

DAENERYS I. Daenerys Stormborn. No description necessary, I assume. Show her wearing the three-headed dragon crown she was given in Qarth, as described in A CLASH OF KING. Might be good to include the three dragons in the picture. Show them very young, as hatchings, one in her lap, one wrapped around her arm and shoulder, one flying just above her.

 January 2006

He repeatedly emphasized that he prefers to write grey characters, because in real life people are complex; no one is pure evil or pure good. Fiction tends to divide people into heroes who do no wrong and villains who go home and kick their dogs and beat their wives, but that reality is much different. He cited a soldier who heroically saves his friends' lives, but then goes home and beats his wife. Which is he, hero or villain? Martin said both and that neither act cancels out the other.

 February 2006

NAERYS TARGARYEN

SUBMITTED BY: AMOKA

[Note: The following continues GRRM's series of descriptions of notable Targaryens (and Targaryen bastards) for Amoka.]

The sister of King Aegon the Unworthy and Prince Aemon the Dragonknight was beautiful as well, but hers was a very fine and delicate beauty, almost unworldy. She was a wisp of a woman, smaller even than Dany (to whom she bears a certain resemblence), very slender, with big purple eyes and fine, pale, porcelain skin, near translucent. Naerys had none of Dany's strength, however. 

 July 2006

George regrets that Cersei and Dany will not be contrasted directly. I told him of how some dedicated boarders try to defeat him and piece together a timeline. George replied that he tries to keep it vague.

He likes the extra breathing room to flesh out the characters. Bran didn't have any chapters and Dany's ending was different. Now he likes the way she ended. I think he actually may be doing more with Dany.

 SPOILER: Possible for ADWD

The second Dance of Dragons does not have to mean Dany's invasion.

Geroge stopped himself short and said he shouldn't say anymore. The response came because of my question of whether the dance would take place in ADWD because AFFC and ADWD parallel. So now my friends, speculate away.

 February 2007

Some other bits of info from Q&A: In Song, he considers Bran the hardest viewpoint character to write, while Tyrion is the easiest. The Red Wedding was partly based on a historical event in Scotland called the Black Dinner. His biggest lament in splitting A Feast for Crows from A Dance with Dragons is the parallels he was drawing between Circe and Daenerys.

 E. His dragons have no front limbs -- just rear legs and wings. He said that although the traditional depiction of dragons as six limbed creatures has become a staple of fantasy -- the fact that no animal in nature has ever evolved in such a way always bothered him. As a sci-fi writer originally, he insists on the depiction of the dragons with just four limbs. I never heard that before and though it was pretty neat.. In addition, he said that although AsoIaF dragons are intelligent, they cannot speak and will never evolve into the sort of dragons we see in Tolkien or Le Guin. Specifically he said’ Drogon is never going to share witty aphorisms with Dany. The Targaryens rule by Fire and Blood and that is what the dragons represent in the story". I guess the power icon is more Nedly for them than some of us thought when they were first rolled out back in AfoD.

 F. Cersei and Daenerys are intended as parallel characters --each exploring a different approach to how a woman would rule in a male dominated, medieval-inspired fantasy world.

 May 2007

GRRM: Well, the next book out is A Dance with Dragons, of course, and that's the fifth book of the series but in some ways it's really 4B, as those of you who follow the series knows that A Feast for Crows got so big I had to pull it in half. I split it not by chopping it right in the middle but I split it by characters. The one I'm working on now is going to have an awful lot of the characters that that aren't in A Feast for Crows, it's going to have a lot of Jon Snow, a lot of Daenerys, a fair amount of Davos, and it's going to have have a lot of "me" -- Tyrion, who is your favorite, and my favorite, so I'm enjoying writing a lot of those right now.

 And you know I got phone calls from people at the studio afterwards saying, "There is a way to make this as a feature. There's a way to do it as a movie. You could just take Jon Snow and Daenerys and just concentrate on them and get rid of some of the minor characters." And it just, it was kind of appalling because, much as I love Jon Snow and Daenerys, I didn't want to lose the other characters. I mean this is an epic and the only way we could conceive of doing it properly was to tell it as a series. And you can't do it as a series where's it interrupted every twenty minutes by a commercial for toothpaste. And you can't do it where I'd have Tyrion saying the things he says and doing the things he says, all of which network TV would have had a huge problem with.

So we really felt from the beginning that the best way to do this was on HBO or possibly Showtime. 

 August 2007

Just because I still love Popinjay and the Turtle and my other Wild Cards characters does not mean I have stopped loving Arya and Tyrion and Dany.

 April 2008

BERBERS AND DANY

[Did the unrest during the transition between Arab and Berber rule inspire Dany's storyline?]

No. Sounds fascinating, but I'm afraid I don't have enough experience with the Berbers or their history to draw on them for inspiration.

 July 2008

GRRM was asked the typical question, of where the idea for ASOIAF had come from. He replied that in the summer of 1991, when he was working as a Hollywood screenwriter, in a gap between assignments he began work on a new novel, a sf novel called Avalon ( personal note, no I would not swap it for ASOIAF, but I would have loved to have read it), set in his future history universe. And somehow, he found himself writing the first chapter of AGOT, about the direwolf pups un the snow. And after that came a second chapter and pretty soon he spent the whole summer writing AGOT.

From there he started to plan a trilogy, since there were 3 main conflicts ( Starks/Lannisters; Dany; and the Others) it felt it would neatly fit into a trilogy (ah!), but like Tolkien said, the tale grew in the telling. 

 April 2010

GRRM said he regretted mentioning the eye color of any of his characters. He also noted that as a brown-eyed person, he finds it annoying that brown-eyed characters are always portrayed as ordinary, while the doers of great deeds always have blue or hazel eyes or something - he notes that he himself was somewhat guilty of this with the violet eyes of Dany or the red eyes of Melisandre.

 (25) Any particular storyline he is enjoying right now?

He said that Dany's storyline is emerging in increasing importance. But he is struggling with the Meereenese Knot. So he can't say he is enjoying it. But he is really enjoying writing Arya's story. He could write an entire novel of it. He could write an entire YA novel about her...(at this point the audience starting clapping and calling out YES! DO IT!)...but her entire story isn't part of the greater novel. He has 12 novels worth of info for this book and its hard to fit it all in.

 February 2011

Sam Thielman: So, why did "A Dance With Dragons" take longer to write than the other books in the series?

George R. R. Martin: Well, you know, that's a good question and I'm not sure I have an easy answer for that. #1, none of the books have been exactly fast, I mean, I'm a slow writer, I've always been a slow writer, and the books are huge. I mean, they're three, four, five times the size of most novels being published. And they have extremely complex interweaving storylines. I remember back when I did the first book, 'A Game of Thrones,' Asimov's Magazine wanted to publish an excerpt and I pulled out the Daenerys storyline from the first book, and they published that as an excerpt, and after I pulled out all the Daenerys chapters and put them together for Asimov's, I did a word count and discovered, technically, I had a novel, just about Daenerys. I'm never gonna be one of those writers who has a book a year, or two books a year like some of my colleagues do. I simply can't write that fast. I do a lot of polishing and revising, and it's a big task.

 July 2011

Tad: Question: Do you purposely start a character as bad so you can later kill them?

GRRM: No. What is bad? Bad is a label. We are human beings with heroism and self-interest and avarice in us and any human is capable of great good or great wrong. In Poland a couple of weeks ago I was reading about the history of Auschwitz – there were startling interviews with the people there. The guards had done unthinkable atrocities, but these were ordinary people. What allowed them to do this kind of evil? Then you read accounts of acts of outrageous heroism, yet the people are criminals or swindlers, one crime or another, but when forced to make a choice they make a heroic choice. This is what fascinated me about the human animal. A lot of fantasy turns on good and evil – but my take on it is that it’s fought within the human heart every day, and that’s the more interesting take. I don’t think life is that simple.

 Tad: All of us work with multiple viewpoints – I hear this next question a lot: with story-driven plots, how do you decide which character viewpoint to write from – do you write several characters, taste them, then decide?

GRRM: No, not several, at least not intentionally. I had more choice early in the series, I frequently had situations where 2 or 3 were present at the same time. But as it’s progressed they have dispersed, so I need to be in the viewpoint of whoever’s there. There are some cases when I have a choice and in that case, I weigh which one. Without talking exactly about "The Mereenese Knot" – I’m not going to talk exactly about it, but but [there was a time when] a number of viewpoints were coming together in Mereen for a number of events, and I was wrestling with order and viewpoint. The different points-of-view had different sources of knowledge and I never could quite solve it. I was rewriting the same chapter over and over again – this, that, viewpoint? – spinning my wheels. It was one of the more troublesome thickets I encountered. There’s a resolution not to introduce new viewpoint characters, but the way I finally dealt with things was with Barristan, I introduced him as a viewpoint character as though he’d been there all along. That enabled me to clear away some of the brush.

 Tad: Question: do you choose characters because they will provide you with a viewpoint or something characterful?

GRRM: Actually, no. I try to give each viewpoint character an arc of his own, and ideally I would like to think that you could pull the material out – in the early books I was able to pull out the Daenerys chapters and publish them separately as a novella, and I won a Hugo Award for that. It'd be great if I could pull out each [character-arc] and it would resemble a story. In some cases a character died and that was a very short story. My prologue and epilogue characters always die but even then I try to give them a story.

 Your books, especially recently, are full of women trying to exert power in a male dominated world who have to compromise themselves along the way. Are you trying to make a feminist statement?

You could certainly interpret it that way. I don't presume to say I'm making a statement of this type or that type. But it is certainly a patriarchal society, I am trying to explore some of the ramifications of that. I try to write women as people, just as I try to write any other characters. Strong and weak, and brave and cowardly, and noble and selfish. It has been very gratifying to me how many women read my work and how much they like at least some of my female characters.

 The one thing I must confess to being frustrated by is the first Tyion chapter where you set up this expectation that he’s going to meet Dany, and I got excited. Then about 600 pages later I’m realizing, “OK, that’s not gonna happen, at least not in this book.”

Yeah, it’s the “kind of bring ’em together but don’t give them the confirmation.” In some ways it’s not so different than the sexual tension in TV shows — are Catherine and Vincent [on Beauty and the Beast] finally going to kiss? Same philosophy. This is the kind of stuff I wrestle with. I could have ended the next chapter: Tyrion gets off the boat and there’s Dany. But the journey itself has its own interest.

 There’s a point in the series where you feel like you’re reading a bunch of separate stories. Toward the end of Dance, you feel the threads starting to come back together. Is that accurate?

That’s certainly the intent, and always was the intent. Tolkien was my great model for much of this. Although I differ from Tolkien in important ways, I’m second to no one in my respect for him. If you look at Lord of the Rings, it begins with a tight focus and all the characters are together. Then by end of the first book the Fellowship splits up and they have different adventures. I did the same thing. Everybody is at Winterfell in the beginning except for Dany, then they split up into groups, and ultimately those split up too. The intent was to fan out, then curve and come back together. Finding the point where that turn begins has been one of the issues I’ve wrestled with.

 There was a fair amount of explicit sex in the series and some fans of the books were taken aback.

One of the reasons I wanted to do this with HBO is that I wanted to keep the sex. We had some real problems because Dany is only 13 in the books, and that’s based on medieval history. They didn’t have this concept of adolescence or the teenage years. You were a child or you were an adult. And the onset of sexual maturity meant you were an adult. So I reflected that in the books. But then when you go to film it you run into people going crazy about child pornography and there’s actual laws about how you can’t depict a 13 year old having sex even if you have an 18 year old acting the part — it’s illegal in the United Kingdom. So we ended up with a 22 year old portraying an 18 year old, instead of an 18 year old portraying a 13 year old. If we decided to lose the sex we could have kept the original ages. And once you change the age of one character you have to change the ages of all the characters, and change the date of the war [that dethroned the Mad King]. The fact we made all these changes indicates how important we thought sex was.

 References the chapbook with the first three Dany chapters from 2005 and that it offers insight as to how much the book has changed since then.

 There's been an interesting discussion on our forum concerning "orientalism" as it's expressed in your work, and one question it's led to among readers is whether you've ever considered a foreign point of view characters in Essos, to give a different window into events there.

No, this story is about Westeros. Those other lands are important only as they reflect on Westeros.

 Part of the difficulty of this particular novel was what you called the "Meereenese Knot", trying to get everything to happen in just the right order, pulling various plot strands together in one place, and part of the solution was the addition of another point of view character. Was this something where you tried writing it from a number of different point of views before settling on a new one? Did you actively resist adding a new character?

The Meerenese Knot related to everyone reaching Dany. There's a series of events that have to occur in Meereen, things that are significant. She has various problems to deal with at the start: dealing with the slavers, threats of war, the Sons of the Harpy, and so on. At the same time, there's all of these characters trying to get to her. So the problem was to figure out who should reach her and in what order, and what events should happen by the time they've reached her. I kept coming up with different answers and I kept having to rewrite different versions and then not being satisfied with the dynamics until I found something that was satisfactory. I thought that solution worked well, but it was not my first choice.

There's a Dany scene in the book which is actually one of the oldest chapters in the book that goes back almost ten years now. When I was contemplating the five year gap [Martin laughs here, with some chagrin], that chapter was supposed to be the first Daenerys chapter in the book. Then it became the second chapter, and then the third chapter, and it kept getting pushed back as I inserted more things into it. I've rewritten that chapter so much that it ended in many different ways.

There's a certain time frame of the chronology where you can compare to A Feast for Crows and even A Storm of Swords and figure out when they would reach Meereen and the relative time frames of each departure and each arrival. But that doesn't necessarily lead to the most dramatic story. So you look at it and try and figure out how to do it. I also wanted to get across how difficult and dangerous it was to travel like this. There are many storms that will wreck your ship, there are dangerous lands in between where there are pirates and corsairs, and all that stuff. It's not like hopping on a 747, where you get on and then step off the plane a few hours later. So all of these considerations went into the Meereenese Knot.

Then there's showing things after [an important event], which proved to be very difficult. I tried it with one point of view character, but this was an outsider who could only guess at what was going on, and then I tried it with a different character and it was also difficult. The big solution was when I hit on adding a new point of view character who could give the perspective this part of the story needed.

March 2012

If you listen to the CBC interview which you'll see the link for under General ASOIAF, much of what he said was repeated tonight. He admitted Tyrion was his favourite, and if he was having dinner with 3 characters, they would be Tyrion, Maester Aemon and then he thought of Arya, but feared she would throw food at him, so he'd go with Dany, because she's hot!

 June 2012

Near the end of the signing, a man presented Martin with two books and his daughter. “This is Daenerys,” he told Martin, “I sent you a letter about her five years ago.” Daenerys, a squirmy blonde in a pink jacket, looked about five years old. “Hello there,” Martin said, “do you like dragons?” She nodded, and they made room for the next fan.

Now that we know how the "Meereenese knot" played out, what was the problem with this? For example, was it the order in which Dany met various characters, or who, when, and how someone would try to take the dragons?

Now I can explain things. It was a confluence of many, many factors: lets start with the offer from Xaro to give Dany ships, the refusal of which then leads to Qarth's declaration of war. Then there's the marriage of Daenerys to pacify the city. Then there's the arrival of the Yunkish army at the gates of Meereen, there's the order of arrival of various people going her way (Tyrion, Quentyn, Victarion, Aegon, Marwyn, etc.), and then there's Daario, this dangerous sellsword and the question of whether Dany really wants him or not, there's hte plague, there's Drogon's return to Meereen...

All of these things were balls I had thrown up into the air, and they're all linked and chronologically entwined. The return of Drogon to the city was something I explored as happening at different times. For example, I wrote three different versions of Quentyn's arrival at Meereen: one where he arrived long before Dany's marriage, one where he arrived much later, and one where he arrived just the day before the marriage (which is how it ended up being in the novel). And I had to write all three versions to be able to compare and see how these different arrival points affected the stories of the other characters. Including the story of a character who actually hasn't arrived yet.

 October 2012

What's exciting to me about this session is that in this conversation, Martin talks at length about craft. He's been in the business of telling stories for many decades -- as a television writer and as a writer of fiction -- and he has a great deal to say about what works and what doesn't in different mediums. How is information conveyed to the audience (or the reader)? How do you keep sophisticated audiences on their toes? How do you create worlds in which most characters have to choose between the best of many bad options? How do you examine power from the perspective of outsiders, rejects and those who are constrained by conventional wisdom? Martin shared the insights of someone who has been contemplating these questions -- practically and philosophically -- for a very long time.

About midway through the podcast, there's a interesting discussion of his use of "close third person" narration and why that's effective in the creation of memorable characters. It's also interesting to note that he doesn't write the chapters in the order in which they appear in the books, and that he may write four or five Tyrion chapters before stopping and switching to another character. (Another fun fact that emerged -- and I'm sure hardcore "ASoIaF" fans already knew this -- Martin originally signed a contract for a book trilogy. I'm betting his publishers aren't sad he's now working on the sixth book in that "trilogy.")

Eventually, Martin zeroes in on his least favorite thing in any story: Predictability. But he admits that it's "very hard" to shake up the audience, which has grown more sophisticated with every passing decade. When he was writing for the revived "Twilight Zone" in the '80s, for example, network executives wanted the producers to end episodes with a twist of some kind, as the original Rod Serling series had often done. But the audience "could see all these twist endings coming a mile away," Martin said.

He also spoke about his fascination with power and with hierarchies that appear stable but are actually anything but. He mentioned reading a history of Jerusalem in which a mad ruler began killing dozens of courtiers and ordering the hands chopped off the women of the court.

"Why doesn't the captain of the guard say to the sergeant, 'This guy is [expletive] nuts?'" Martin said. "'We have swords! Why don't we kill him instead?'"

But loyalties -- clan loyalties, family loyalties, strategic alliances -- are powerful influences in the lives of Martin's characters, and their personal desires and their traditional duties or roles are often in conflict. And those kinds of unresolvable dilemmas are at the heart of what makes his stories resonate with those of us who didn't begin fighting with swords as children.

Paraphrasing Faulkner, Martin said "the only thing worth writing about is the human heart in conflict with itself." And that's a scenario that is very familiar to anyone who's ever visited Westeros, either as a reader or a viewer of the HBO drama.

 Is A Song of Ice and Fire a parallelism or a criticism to our society?

No. My work is not an allegory to our days. If I wanted to write about the financial crisis or the conflict in Syria, I would write about the financial crisis or the conflict in Syria, without any metaphor. However, it’s true that in my novels appear several elements which we can find in world history. Things such as power, sex, pain… I have grown up as a science fiction reader, and it was my first love, even before fantasy. But science fiction, then, presented an idealistic world: the space, a bright future, but unluckily that optimism disappeared very quickly and the future wasn’t as good as we had expected. Nowadays, science fiction is very pessimistic and talks about dystopias: about a polluted world, about a rotten world… Of course I would prefer to be part of another world; a better world, but I can’t. Perhaps winter is not coming only to Winterfell, but in the real world.

 March 2013

The readers are unhappy with leaving out the five-year gap?

Well no, some of the storylines from Feast for Crows. I get complaints sometimes that nothing happens — but they're defining "nothing," I think, differently than I am. I don't think it all has to battles and sword fights and assassinations. Character development and [people] changing is good, and there are some tough things in there that I think a lot of writers skip over. I'm glad I didn't skip over these things.

[For example], things that Arya is learning. The things Bran is learning. Learning is not inherently an interesting thing to write about. It's not an easy thing to write about. In the movies, they always handle it with a montage. Rocky can't run very fast. He can't catch the chicken. But then you do a montage, and you cut a lot of images together, and now only a minute later in the film, Rocky is really strong and he is catching the chicken.

It’s a lot harder [in real life]. Sometimes in my own life, I wish I could play a montage of my life. I want to get in shape now. So let’s do a montage, and boom — I'll be fifty pounds lighter and in good shape, and it will only take me a minute with some montage of me lifting weights and running, shoving away the steak and having a salad. But of course in real life, you don't get to montage. You have to go through it day by day.

And that has been interesting, you know. Jon Snow as Lord Commander. Dany as Queen, struggling with rule. So many books don't do that. There is a sense when you're writing something in high fantasy, you're in a dialogue with all the other high fantasy writers that have written. And there is always this presumption that if you are a good man, you will be a good king. [Like] Tolkien — in Return of the King, Aragorn comes back and becomes king, and then [we read that] "he ruled wisely for three hundred years." Okay, fine. It is easy to write that sentence, “He ruled wisely”.

What does that mean, he ruled wisely? What were his tax policies? What did he do when two lords were making war on each other? Or barbarians were coming in from the North? What was his immigration policy? What about equal rights for Orcs? I mean did he just pursue a genocidal policy, "Let’s kill all these fucking Orcs who are still left over"? Or did he try to redeem them? You never actually see the nitty-gritty of ruling.

I guess there is an element of fantasy readers that don't want to see that. I find that fascinating. Seeing someone like Dany actually trying to deal with the vestments of being a queen and getting factions and guilds and [managing the] economy. They burnt all the fields [in Meereen]. They've got nothing to import any more. They're not getting any money. I find this stuff interesting. And fortunately, enough of my readers who love the books do as well.

 And meanwhile, you've got Daenerys visiting more Eurasian and Middle Eastern cultures.

And that has generated its controversy too. I answer that one to in my blog. I know some of the people who are coming at this from a political or racial angle just seem to completely disregard the logistics of the thing here. I talk about what's in the books. The books are what I write. What I’m responsible for.

Slavery in the ancient world, and slavery in the medieval world, was not race-based. You could lose a war if you were a Spartan, and if you lost a war you could end up a slave in Athens, or vice versa. You could get in debt, and wind up a slave. And that’s what I tried to depict, in my books, that kind of slavery.

So the people that Dany frees in the slaver cities are of many different ethnicities, and that’s been fairly explicit in the books. But of course when David [Benioff] and Dan [Weiss] and his crew are filming that scene [of Daenerys being carried by freed slaves], they are filming it in Morocco, and they put out a call for 800 extras. That’s a lot of extras. They hired the people who turned up. Extras don't get paid very much. I did an extra gig once, and got like $40 a day.

It's probably actually less in Morocco since you don't have to pay quite the same rate. If you're giving 800 Moroccans 40 bucks each, you're not going to fly in 100 Irishman just to balance the racial background here. We had enough trouble meeting our budget anyway.

I know for some readers, they don’t care about this shit. But these things are about budget and realism, and things you can actually do. You are shooting the scene in a day. You don't have a lot of time to [worry] about that, and as someone who has worked in television this kind of stuff is very important to me. I don't know if that is answer or not. I made that answer, and some people weren't pleased with that answer, I know. They are very upset about that.

 August 2013

Amid reports of a dramatic uptrend in babies named “Khaleesi” and tourism to Dubrovnik, Croatia (aka King's Landing), we're guessing George R. R. Martin doesn’t need much of an introduction.

 AC: How do you decide what you're going to work on, whose voice you're going to work in today?

GM: Well, I don't write the chapters in the order in which you read them. I get into a character’s voice. It's always difficult to switch gears, actually. When I do make that transition from one character to another, I usually struggle for a few days trying to get back the voice of the character I'm just returning to after some hiatus. But once I get into it, I tend to write not just one chapter by that character, but three or four. So I'll be writing Jon Snow chapters, and I'll carry that Jon Snow sequence as far as I can. And then at some point, maybe I'll get stuck or not be sure what I should do next, or maybe I've just gotten way ahead of all of the other characters in the books, so I need to sort of rein myself in and make myself switch from Jon Snow to Sansa or Daenerys or somebody like that.

 November 2013

We can't leave Martin without pressing him for his thoughts on which of his characters keeps the best table. Would it be the wealthy, sun-loving Martell family with their Mediterranean-leaning flatbreads, olives and spiced snake? The sensualist Tyrion Lannister? Or the moveable feast of the court of Daenerys Targaryen with its duck eggs and dog sausage?

"Oh, Illyrio Mopatis, the magister, no question. Just watch out for the mushrooms."

 March 2014

Was it a big shift for you, when you were writing the scenes that take place at Winterfell and suddenly you have the Daenerys scene, with an entirely different location?

Pretty early on, in the summer of ‘91, I had the Daenerys stuff. I knew she was on another continent. I think I had already drawn a map by then – and she wasn’t on it. I’d just drawn the map of the one continent that would come to be called Westeros. But she was in exile, and I knew that, and that was sort of the one departure from the structure. It’s something I borrowed from Tolkien, in terms of the initial structure of the book. If you look at Lord of the Rings, everything begins in the Shire with Bilbo’s birthday party. You have a very small focus. You have a map of the Shire right in the beginning of the book – you think it’s the entire world. And then they get outside it. They cross the Shire, which seems epic in itself. And then the world keeps getting bigger and bigger and bigger. And then they add more and more characters, and then those characters split up. I essentially looked at the master there and adopted the same structure. Everything in AGame of Thrones begins in Winterfell. Everybody is together there and then you meet more people and, ultimately, they’re split apart and they go in different directions. But the one departure from that, right from the first, was Daenerys, who was always separate. It’s almost as if Tolkien, in addition to having Bilbo, had thrown in an occasional Faramir chapter, right from the beginning of the book.

 Although Daenerys is hooked into Winterfell, because we hear talk of her family, the Targaryen family, early on.

You see overlaps. Daenerys is getting married, and Robert gets the report that Daenerys has just gotten married and reacts to that and the threat that it poses.

 Fortunately, the books were best sellers, I didn’t need the money, you know, so I could just say no. Other people wanted to take the approach of, there are so many characters, so many stories, we have to settle on one. Let’s make it all about Jon Snow. Or Dany. Or Tyrion. Or Bran. But that didn’t work, either, because the stories are all inter-related. They separate but they come together again. But it did get me thinking about it, and it got me thinking about how this could be done, and the answer I came up with is – it can be done for television. It can’t be done as a feature film or a series of feature films. So television. But not network television. I’d worked in television. The Twilight Zone. Beauty and the Beast. I knew what was in these books, the sex scenes, the violence, the beheadings, the massacres. They’re not going to put that on Friday night at eight o’clock, where they always stick fantasies. Both of the shows that I was on, Twilight Zone and Beauty and the Beast, Friday night at eight o’clock. They think, "Fantasy? Kids!" So I wasn’t going to do a network show. But I’d been watching HBO. The Sopranos. Rome. Deadwood. It seemed to me an HBO show, a series where each book was an entire season, was the way to do it. So when I sat down with David and Dan at that meeting at the Palm, which started out as a lunch meeting and turned into a dinner meeting, and they said the same thing, then I suddenly knew we’re on the same wavelength here.

 June 2014

Q: What can you tell us about a warg dragon rider?

A: There is no history/precedent for someone warging a dragon. There is a rich history of the mythical bond between dragon and rider.  There have been instances of dragons responding to their riders even from very far away (hmm) which shows it is a true and very strong bond. We will learn more about this. Keep reading (we hear “keep writing” from the back of the room).

 Q:  What is your favorite line in ASOIAF?

A: I can’t single out one line but my favorite passage is Septon Meribald’s speech about war in… what was it?  (crowd yells out Feast for Crows).

 November 2014

For people who are not familiar with your work, the series takes place in an imaginary world. There is a struggle for control of the kingdom. This dynastic war is essentially one of three main plot lines. There are the other plot lines involving these sort of superhuman characters, and then there’s the exiled Targaryen daughter who seeks the return of her ancient throne. Why those three main plot lines?

Well, of course, the two outlying ones — the things going on north of the Wall, and then there is Targaryen on the other continent with her dragons — are of course the ice and fire of the title, “A Song of Ice and Fire.” The central stuff — the stuff that’s happening in the middle, in King’s Landing, the capital of the seven kingdoms — is much more based on historical events, historical fiction. 

 Pop culture has grabbed “Game of Thrones.” It’s been featured in “The Simpsons” and “South Park.” What goes through your mind when you see these references?

Well, I think it’s tremendously cool, of course. It’s nice to be doing something that everybody is so aware of and that has entered the cultural zeitgeist in that manner. The only aspect of it that really astonishes me is not that the characters and the story is being parodied or referenced in these various places but the extent at which I personally am. I mean, when I see myself as a character on “South Park” or I see Bobby Moynihan imitating me with the suspenders and the hat on “Saturday Night Live,” when I see companies selling Halloween costumes, not Halloween costumes to be Jon Snow or Daenerys but Halloween costumes to be me, that’s pretty freaky. That’s something I could never have anticipated, and I just don’t know what to think of it. 

 May 2015

Still, it’s only natural that there’s a few characters Martin would have liked to have seen on the show that did not make it in.

“Strong Belwas, who was part of Dany’s entourage,” Martin said. “I understand why he was cut, but I kind of miss him.” In the books, the massive eunuch warrior is a former pit fighter who joins Dany in Qarth. Belwas’ story elements have essentially been combined with the character of Daario, who is arguably more essential to Dany’s journey.

  June 2015

I explained that in my own head, Yandel is in King's Landing, clutching his book, showing up each day for an audience with the king... and each day being told perhaps the next day. Except on those occasions where, you know, they tell him the king's getting married today, and then whoops, Joffrey is dead, etc.

I also noted that of course, given how he wrote about the reign of Aerys and and the rebellion, that if Aegon or Daenerys take King's Landing he may indeed end up having his head chopped off... George seemed interested in the idea, I think. :P

 May 2016

4. GRRM and Picacio both made the joke about "you need to pay the artist" and such regarding general fan fiction. And then GRRM said he has issued some sub-licenses to things like art and games, etc. GRRM also mentioned that HBO owns the rights to the exact likenesses of the tv version of the story, meaning, no art can be made where Dany looks like Emilia. He was very careful in avoiding a real link in feeling between him and HBO even though he was asked about it twice. Then GRRM mentioned, and Picacio joined in, how GRRM knew the show would overtake the books. Not too much new.

Reactions after the episode

c. Dany on Drogon seemed random and a repeat of previous seasons.

d. Others loved Dany on Drogon.

 December 2016

And the most revealing: he said that for Winds, Winter is the darkest time 'where things die' and many characters will go dark places.

 At last I was able to ask him the question I had sent for the tombola. I have always been fascinated by how ASOIAF embodies the theories put forward by Acemoglu and Robinson about countries with extractive institutions (which hamper development). So my question was: Why do you think the political institutions in the Seven Kingdoms are so weak? His answer: the Kingdom was unified with dragons, so the Targaryen's flaw was to create an absolute monarchy highly dependent on them, with the small council not designed to be a real check and balance. So, without dragons it took a sneeze, a wildly incompetent and megalomaniac king, a love struck prince, a brutal civil war, a dissolute king that didn't really know what to do with the throne and then chaos. Interesting answer.

 July 2017

To a certain degree, also, it’s so intertwined, tragically and unfortunately, with the character histories. Daenerys doesn’t get to where she is unless she’s sold as a child bride, effectively a slave.

And I should point out, and you probably know this if you’ve read the books and watched the show, Daenerys’ wedding night is quite different than it was portrayed in the books. Again, indeed, we had an original pilot where the part of Daenerys was recast, and what we filmed the first time, when Tamzin Merchant was playing the role, it was much more true to the books. It was the scene as written in the books. So that got changed between the original pilot and the later pilot. You’d have to talk to David and Dan about that.

 I had all these meetings saying, “There’s too many characters, it’s too big — Jon Snow is the central character. We’ll eliminate all the other characters and we’ll make it about Jon Snow.” Or “Daenerys is the central character. We’ll eliminate everyone else and make the movie about Daenerys.” And I turned down all those deals.

 When you’re walking down the street in Santa Fe, do new character or historical details just pop into your head?

Sometimes it happens to me on long-distance drives. When I was younger I loved to take road trips, and get in the car and drive for two days to get to L.A. or Kansas City or St. Louis or Texas. And on the road, I would think a lot about that. In 1993, I think it was, I visited France for the first time. I had begunGame of Thrones two years before in ‘91 and I had to put it aside because television was happening. And for some reason, I had rented a car, I was driving all around Brittany and the roads of France to these little medieval villages and I was seeing castles, and somehow that just got me going again. I was thinking about Tyrion and Jon Snow and Daenerys and my head was full of Game of Thrones stuff.

 You’re in unusual territory, with your characters very much still in your hands but also out in the world being interpreted for TV. Are you able to have walls in your mind such that your Daenerys, say, is your Daenerys, and Emilia Clarke’s Daenerys is hers and the show’s?

I’ve arrived at that point. The walls are up in my mind. I don’t know that I was necessarily there from the beginning. At some points, when David and Dan and I had discussions about what way we should go in, I would always favor sticking with the books, while they would favor making changes. I think one of the biggest ones would probably be when they made the decision not to bring Catelyn Stark back as Lady Stoneheart. That was probably the first major diversion of the show from the books and, you know, I argued against that, and David and Dan made that decision.

In my version of the story, Catelyn Stark is re-imbued with a kind of life and becomes this vengeful wight who galvanizes a group of people around her and is trying to exact her revenge on the riverlands. David and Dan made a decision not to go in that direction in their story, pursuing other threads. But both of them are equally valid, I think, because Catelyn Stark is a fictional character and she doesn’t exist. You can tell either story about her.

 Is there anything we didn’t get to talk about?

I suppose there are issues we could have explored more with the whole question of sexual violence and women — it’s a complicated and fraught issue. To re-address that point a little, I do a lot of book signings, and I think I have probably more women readers than male readers right now. Only slightly, but it’s probably 55 percent, 45 percent, but I see women readers at things and they love my women characters. I’m very proud of the creation of Arya and Catelyn and Sansa and Brienne and Daenerys and Cersei and all of them. It’s one of the things that gives me the most satisfaction, that they’ve been so well-received as characters, especially by women readers who are often not served.

 August 2017

- My question about Daenerys was chosen as the third question (I was lucky!) but he refused to answer it lol … I asked “How old was Daenerys when she left the house with the red door, and was it located close to the palace of the Sealord of Braavos?” (thanks Butterfly for suggesting it to me) I don’t know why he refused to answer about her age, but about the house with the red door he said there will be more revelations about it in future books.

- He was asked to comment about the differences between the book and show characters, particularly Daenerys. GRRM ignored all the other characters and talked only about Daenerys - he said that the show one is older because there are laws in USA that prevent minors from having sex scenes so the decision was made to age Daenerys. Otherwise, book Daenerys and show Daenerys “are very similar” and “Emilia Clarke did a fantastic job”. (I guess he can’t really say negative things about the show, can he?)

- “Will Jorah ever get out of the friendzone?” (side-eyeing the person who asked this). GRRM: “I would not bet on it.”

 August 2018

Q: if you did have a child what would you name him or her?

A: “I don’t know... probably Not Daenerys”

 November 2018

“I have tried to make it explicit in the novels that the dragons are destructive forces, and Dany (Daenerys Targaryen) has found that out as she tried to rule the city of Meereen and be queen there.

“She has the power to destroy, she can wipe out entire cities, and we certainly see that in Fire and Blood, we see the dragons wiping out entire armies, wiping out towns and cities, destroying them, but that doesn’t necessarily enable you to rule — it just enables you to destroy.”

[...] “If you read Fire and Blood, you’ll know there’s definitely a bond between the dragons and their riders and the dragons will not accept just any rider,” says Martin. “Some people try to take a dragon wind up being eaten or burned to death instead, so the dragons are terribly fussy about who rides them.”

[...] The prince defeated the threat in the North by driving his sword through his wife’s heart. Will Jon have to do the same to Daenerys? Or is she the prince, Azor Ahai, reborn? Martin suggests all may not be as it seems.

“The Targaryens have certain gifts and yes, taking the dragons and dragon riding and dragon breeding was one of them,” he says. “But the other gift was an occasional Targaryen had prophetic powers and could see glimpses of the future, which they didn’t always necessarily properly interpret because, you know, they were fragmentary and sometimes symbolic.

“But to what extent did they share those gifts, what did he see, what prompted him to do all this? These are things I find really interesting to ponder.

 What was interesting from The Guardian interview you did, is this book — as daunting as it would seem for most authors to attempt, and as tough as Winds has been for you — this was curiously easy for you to write. Yes. Partly because it’s linear. Although it covers 150 years or so, it’s very straightforward — here’s what happened in the year 30, here’s what happened in 25. In Winds, I have like 10 different novels and I’m juggling the timeline — here’s what’s happening to Tyrion, here’s what’s happening to Dany, and how they intersect. That’s far more complicated. 

 August 2019

On the fame thing, does it ever feel surreal to stop and think about the reach that your work has had? I mean, couples meet through Game of Thrones, there are Thrones-themed wedding ceremonies, and babies are named after your characters. Is that something you ever dwell on and think to yourself  'God, my work has had this massive effect on people?'

It's very gratifying when you get letters, emails, and hear stories like that. They definitely do name children after my characters and send me pictures of their babies.

People also name their dogs, cats, iguanas, after my characters. Sometimes, it’s a little surreal. I often wonder about all the young Daenerys’ out there because kindergarten teachers will hate me because they have to spell it!

#daenerys targaryen #resources #grrm #valyrianscrolls

[blackswaneuroparedux]

Anonymous asked: I hugely appreciate how educated you are with your education in the Classics (at either Oxford or Cambridge I think) but I ask with sincere respect how does any of it inform your privileged life in this day and age? It’s easy to say how much we should value our European traditions and heritage it is quite another to live it out don’t you agree? What do you personally get from it?

This is a very relevant question and I apologise if I have stalled in answering it as I was busy with work and life to formulate a worthy reply. But your question is an important one indeed for anyone who harkens to the past as a guide for the present and the future.

I won’t waste space here and tick box all the purely academic reasons why the Classical world is still relevant for us today. I think you can find that in easy to read books and articles written by eminent Classicists who do an admirable service in making the Classical World come alive for the general public (Mary Beard, Bettany Hughes, Emily Wilson, Edith Hall, Peter Jones, Bernard Knox, Robin Lane Fox, Paul Cartledge, and Donald Kagan amongst others that come to mind). But it’s an uphill battle to be sure.

Classics - at least in United Kingdom - has been regressively marginalised with each passing generation starting from school up to university entry. It has an image problem. Few pay much attention to scholars of Latin and Greek. The impression is that Classicists are snobbish and is the education of privileged elitists who master languages that are not spoken. They learn to write them only to read them better. They slap your hands when you write a Latin word common in Sallust or Livy, rather than in Cicero. There is some truth to that sadly. To a large extent Classicists themselves have not been a good advertisement for why anyone should appreciate let alone study the classical world.

At one end those educated in the Classics can come across as encouraging elitism, snobbish pedantry and a sniffy social superiority and at the other end those not versed in Classics but through Hollywood (any sword and sandal film like Gladiator etc) and PC white washed TV series (BBC’s Troy is a good example) have formed a romantic attachment to the ‘heroic’ past by having blue pilled themselves into escapism. Both extremes makes Classics a fetish rather than a guide for life through the beauty and power of the language and culture of the singular Greeks and Romans.

The study of Classics can become the proverbial dog who can dance on two legs, but for what practical purpose? There is the rub. Classics, at its best, offers the historical, philological, and literary foundation and discipline to apply a critical method to every general aspect of learning - and living.

I was fortunate that I had Classicists - both within my family and also my teachers - who were cultured and had led such interesting lives and were able to marry their Classicist mind to their life experiences (often through the experience of war). So learning European languages was not just to get one’s head around arid esoteric articles by 19th-century Frenchmen on the Athenian banking system or Demosthenes’ use of praeteritio and apophasis, but also to appreciate the genius of Dante,Voltaire and Goethe. Classics should never just be about philology though because it can result in a life mostly missed.

Perhaps others might call it privileged but I consider my childhood blessed because I was surrounded by family members who were educated in the Classics - more rare than one might suppose. Through my great aunts and grandmother they instilled the discipline that the mastery of Latin and Greek fuelled the ability to speak and write good English -- and why the latter mattered as much or more than the former.

By the time I left both Cambridge and Oxford behind, I could cite passage numbers in Greek texts of what Thucydides and Plutarch thought of Nicias. But it was only when I went through Sandhurst to pass out as a commissioned army officer did it truly jump off the page and become alive for me.

Moreover having had long fire side conversations with both my grandfather and father - both Oxbridge educated Classicists and both served in distant different types of wars as swashbuckling officers - did I use that learning to understand why for example was Nicias such a laughably mediocre general of the Peloponnesian War. And this was essentially the practical point of reading Thucydides and Plutarch about Nicias in the first place.

I spent many hours in my down time during my service in Afghanistan between missions re-reading dog earred favourite Classicist texts. I began to see the ghosts of the Greeks in the characters of those with whom I was serving. Some began to resemble Sophoclean characters - especially the less well-known ‘losers’ like Ajax and Philoctetes - the sort of tragic heroes whom we root for but the odds are against them - think of any American Western film or the more pathological Tarantino films. Like Sophocles I saw majestic characters (some special forces operators) out of place in a modernising world who would rather perish than change - but in a context where their sacrifice schools the lesser around them about what the old breed was about and what was being lost.

A running thread from a childhood spent in many other countries - from South Asia to the Far East - to the present day is learning to appreciate our landscape as the Ancient world did. The cultivation of curiosity of cultures was seeded in childhood. Respecting and even admiring other cultures - Indian, Iranian, Chinese and Japanese primarily come to mind - led me to appreciate and treasure my own cultural heritage and traditions. The DNA of both the Roman and Greek world went far and wide and so teasing out their fingerprints was fun. In northern Pakistan, we came across ‘Alexander’s children’ - children with blonde and blue eyes who were said to be descended from Alexander the Great’s time in Afghanistan and India - and wandering around the banks of the Jhelum river imagining how Alexander beat his respected foe (later ally) King Porus at the Battle of Hydaspes in 326BC.

These days despite having a busy corporate career I help support running a French vineyard managed foremost by two exceptional cousins and their French partners. As such the Classics still resonate in how I look at the land beyond the vineyard - bridges, roads, towers, walls  - and imagine the Greeks not with ink and papyrus but as men of action, farmers and hoplites, in a rough climate on poor soils. I suddenly envision them pruning and plowing in Laureion, the Oropos, and Acharnae, more like the rugged local farmers with whom come harvest time I roll my sleeves up and get my hands dirty in the vineyards than as the professors in elbow patches who had claimed them.

Knowing and learning about the Classical roots of our Western heritage isn’t just a question of culture it’s also about what personally motivates us in life and how that determines how we make consequential choices in life.

I live in fear of one Greek word  ‘akrasia’. Ancient Greek philosophers coined the term to explain the lack of motivation in life. Most of the philosophical conundrums explored by contemporary philosophers were already explored in Ancient Greece. In fact, Ancient Greek philosophers laid the solid foundation for all philosophical approaches that appeared throughout history: theories of Kant, Hegel or Nietzsche would never exist without Socrates, Plato or Aristotle.

Among the many problems that baffled the Ancient Greeks, one of them gets quite a lot of attention today. Why don’t we always do what’s best for us? Why do we abandon good decisions in favour of bad ones? Why can’t we follow through on our plans and ideas?

Many people would say that the answer is simply laziness or decision fatigue, but Ancient Greek philosophers believed that the problem lay much deeper, in human nature itself. ‘Akrasia’ describes a state of acting against one’s better judgement or a lack of will that prevents one from doing the right thing. Plato believed that akrasia is not an issue in itself, because people always choose the solution they think is the best for them, and sometimes it accidentally happens that they choose the bad solution because of poor judgement. On the other hand, Aristotle disagreed with this explanation and argued that the fault in the human process of reasoning is not responsible for akrasia. He believed that the answer lies in the human tendency to desire, which is often far stronger than reason.

As with almost all philosophical concepts, a consensus has never been reached and akrasia remains open to interpretation. But its practical consequences are all too real in today’s world. Motivation is what makes us unpredictable and persistent, and the life circumstances of the modern world often make motivation disappear.

Today - regardless how old or young one is - many are more and more tempted to exchange a long-term goal for an immediately available pleasure in all its forms from the emotional band aid of porn from a lifeless relationship (or a lack of one) to escaping loneliness for the false intimacy of social media friendship. The lack of motivation can cause us to reduce ourselves to someone else’s standards when we know we can be or do better. 

The Greeks felt that the way you think and feel about yourself, including your beliefs and expectations about what is possible for you, determines everything that happens to you. When you change the quality of your thinking, you change the quality of your life. I’ve been deeply influenced by Aristotle’s idea that virtue is a habit, something you practice and get better at, rather than something that comes naturally. “The control of the appetites by right reason,” is how he defined it. Another way to reframe this is to say, “Virtue is knowing what you really want,” and then building the intellectual, spiritual, and moral muscle to go after it.

To be cultured - as opposed to be merely educated - is how you put what you’ve learned to work in your own life, seeing the world around you more deeply because of the historical, literary, artistic and philosophical resonances that current experiences evoke. This is the privilege of being cultured. For me Classical stories come often to my mind, and some times provide guides to action (much as Plutarch intended his histories of famous men to be guides to morality and action). The classics then are a part of my mental toolset and the context I think with some of the time. I see that as the real blessing in my life.

Thanks for your question.

#question #classics #education #life #personal #bio #library

[lemonyellowlogic]

the harder the rain, the sweeter the sun: chapter one

summary: Prince Roman Sanders of the Sanders Kingdom lived his entire life desiring more than just becoming king, he wanted to actually live, explore the world. When his jealous younger brother plots to kill him, he escapes across the border into Alimagia, a realm of magic users who his father tried to destroy, and is found by a group of Alimagians.

Roman hides his identity from them, living peacefully until neighboring villages are beginning to be attacked by the kingdom for the first time in decades. Roman has to figure out a way to save his kingdom and Alimagia with the help of the people his kingdom attempted to erase, but can he do that while still managing to hide the secrets he holds buried deep down?

-o-

masterlist

-o-

chapter one: the beginning

“My son, long ago, in this world, there was a kingdom ruled by men, named the Sanders Kingdom. This kingdom ruled over all of the humans, the purest of the races.

But, across the border lay the realm of Alimagia, where the wicked magic creatures lived and plotted. Years and years ago, they had free reign over all of the world, but a single man refused to bow down to their evil. 

He gathered an army, and defeated the wicked Alimagians, pushing them behind the border and allowing the humans to be free. This man was named Thomas Sanders, and it was him that the kingdom was named after. He ruled for the rest of his life as a kind, just leader, and it is him that the kings have always looked up to.

You, my son, are the descendant of the great King Thomas, and one day, it will be you who will be the kind and just king our people need.”

The young prince looked up to his father with bright eyes, a wide smile on his face.

“I will, papa! I’ll defeat the evil Ali...Alimag…”

His mother helped him, “Alimagians, dear.” as she played with his little brother, Remus, near the king and prince.

“Yeah, I'll defeat them, mama! I’ll make sure you never get hurt!!”

The queen chuckled, but her smile didn't reach her eyes as she held her child close to her breast, “Alright, Roman. Alright.”

--

Roman sat, his back completely straight as he listened to the court talk about new taxes and what have you. The prince didn’t care much for such meetings, but, if he was to be king one day, it was important he learned of every aspect that there was to ruling the beautiful kingdom of Sanders.

However, his mind loved to wander during them, and so off it went, imagining a world of fun and freedom. Roman wished that he could just hop onto a horse and ride into the sunset, but he couldn’t. He had his people to think of, and his father and brother to worry about. He’d love to at least know what was beyond the forest that grew wild on their northern border, because at least then the people wouldn’t have to be afraid of it. Alimagia was a dangerous place, but how dangerous could it-

“Roman!” The king barked, and the prince jumped, his mind clearing and returning back to his head. The court all stared at him, awaiting his response, most relaxed but some annoyed.

Roma sheepishly grinned, “I apologize, what was the question at hand?”

His father took a deep breath, pinching his brow, “The court asked if you had any other idea of what the increase on the people’s income tax should be or how it should be announced.”

Roman’s hand went to his chin, his thumb sweeping across his lips as he thought. 

The court liked him enough. It was a mixture of people, one leader representing each village in the kingdom, some poor and some filthy rich. Roman, as a prince, would consider himself to be wealthy, but he was born into wealth and had done nothing to gain it. He had spoken with the poorest villages of the castle’s adjoining town and he wanted to speak for their plight, because Roman knew that they needed the loudest voices to speak for them.

“Well, it shouldn’t be one general number. The very poor shouldn’t pay the same as the very richest. One-tenth of everyone’s income if their income passes…” Roman hummed, “Let’s say fifty-thousand gold per year should probably be enough to sustain our kingdom comfortably if everyone does their share.”

His father nodded, many representatives smiling gratefully at him while others scowled. 

“I see your point, my son. We will continue to speak on the subject another day, however, as this day’s time has almost run out.”

The king stood, “This meeting is adjourned,” and the representatives filed out of the door one by one and continued out of sight down the halls. Roman planned on following them out the door and talking to Elliott, the youngest representative and elected leader of the village Beania. However, he was stopped by someone forcefully grabbing the back of his tunic, pulling him back. 

He jumped in surprise, but his face quickly settled as he stared at his younger brother, Remus.

Rolling his eyes, he asked, “What is it, Remus?”

“What, I can’t just ask my big brother how the meeting went? Wow, how cruel of you. I’m hurt.”

Roman pushes the man off him, straightening his tunic as he glared back at him.

“Name one time you ever actually asked about my day.”

Remus looked back at his, his brow furrowing. Roman continued, “Anyways, it was fine. We got things done and I believe the people will be pleased. Is that all?”

“Ooh, pleased. What does that mean? You gonna give them prostitutes?”

Roman’s face contorted and he brushed an imaginary piece of dust off of his shoulder, “No, you dimwit. The tax will be equal throughout all of the people past a certain point.”

“Uh oh, I dunno if people will be happy with that, especially people who’ve been at our father’s side the longest. You prepared for them to leave you, to leave us?”

Roman sighed, “You have nothing to do with this, Remus, and those people were at our father’s side for the wrong reason, but of course you wouldn’t know. Have you ever taken a simple class on civics?”

Remus’ face reddened, “Well, no, but that doesn’t matter!” 

He spat, “I’ve learned more from being at our fathers side throughout the years then you’ve learned in some dumb class. I should be king!”

Roman rolled his eyes, “Stop making a scene, Remus.”

“A scene! I-You!”

Remus glanced around and saw most of the nobles and leaders eyes on his, confused and annoyed at his yelling. He growled, pushing Roman back and running out the hallway. 

Roman sighed, straightening his tunic as he turned to look at Elliott, who rolled their eyes and clapped Roman’s arm as they walked up to him.

“Sorry about your brother, do you know what’s going on with him?”

Roman chuckled as the two continued walking, “This is normal, he’s usually like this.”

“What’d you mean?”

“He always starts idiotic arguments in an attept to humiliate me, but he always ends up making a fool of himself instead. I don't know why he dislikes me so, but it’s just a fact of life.”

“Is he jealous of the throne?”

“Possibly. However, that doesn’t matter. How is your village?”

“We are...alright. We’re running a bit low on seeds for our crops as multiple of our farmers had some thieves during the summer who stole some supplies.”

“How many do you need?”

“Ehh, a few pounds for each farmer, if that is alright?”

“I’ll talk to my father about it, but I think that is definitely doable.”

“Truly? Oh, thank you, Roman.”

“It’s nothing, Elliott.”

The prince yawned as they walked, and Elliott smiled at him. He smiled back sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck as he cracked it, “Apologies, my good friend, but I’m truly exhausted after today. I’ve got to head to sleep, but I will see you tomorrow.”

“Alright, goodbye!”

Roman waved them goodbye as he walked to his bedroom, sighing as he closed his door. Sitting on his bed, he pinched his brow. He laid back, staring at his ceiling, the stars painted by his mother shimmering with the setting sun's light.

Roman often wonders how different his life would've been if he was born to a common family. He would be able to have friends outside of politics, maybe even jousting or becoming a knight, but no. Roman was to become king, and though politics were not something he loved, he had to allow it to become his life and his passion to help his country.

Maybe Roman could've even found love. But no, his love had to be political, choosing from one of the nobles’ or chiefs’ daughters to wed instead of finding it naturally. He wasn’t even sure if he liked women at all, but that doesn’t matter, it’s his job to be king and to have a successor. He wasn’t allowed to love someone who couldn’t help him be king, so he wasn’t allowed to make his own choices.

It made him sad. He wanted to be his own person, to be free, but he isn’t allowed.

Looking out of his window, Roman saw that it was almost completely night, and so he got ready for sleep. Roman shrugged off his tunic and slacks, throwing them into a hamper the maids would pick up the next morning. He tiredly put on some sleeping clothes before falling into his bed, leaving his candle lit as he wrapped himself into a tight cocoon of warmth and passed out.

--

Remus grumbled to himself as he stalked through the hallways, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. It wasn’t fair. Roman was the worst person for king, but only because he was born first, he got to rule. Sure, Remus may not know as much politics as his brother, but he is still educated on the subject, he is, after all, second in line.

A thought seemed to fall into Remus’ head, and he froze where he stood. If Roman were dead, Remus would be the only candidate for king. But, Roman wouldn’t just die out of nowhere and Remus couldn’t do that to his brother, he’d look like a monster if he was caught. He has to make a plan. As he walked by Roman’s slightly ajar door, he peeked in, and a grin split upon his face upon the sight of his brother in bed. Perfect.

-o-

next

#lemon talks #lemon writes #the harder the rain the sweeter the sun #thtrtsts #thtrtsts spoilers #ts sides #sanders sides #thomas sanders #roman sanders #remus sanders #unsympathetic remus #dlamp #lamp

[mbtiofwhys]

How Fe and Fi listen to music

Disclaimer: what you’ll find in this article is more a blogging coming from our personal experience than something strictly related to type theory. We found analogies that in some ways reflect the mutual differences between us mods, but please don’t read this as a way to generalize things or to say that this is what every Fi and Fe users feel or think. We want to share thoughts and prompts in our type blogging, so feel free to add something if you’d like!

INFJ mod

The first and most relevant truth about me and music is that, as a high Fe user, music can influence my feelings and heavily change my mood. But this may sound natural, right? Is it not common to listen to music as a way to delve into your feelings? Well, at least for me, high Fe enhances this, because it makes me susceptible to the emotional state of the environment, thus I’m receptive of the slightest changes in it. I can feel calm and relaxed, and then walk into a bar with a sad song on and suddenly feel gloomy. This happens to me a lot and that’s the main reason why I need to listen to specific songs in certain contexts. Otherwise I’ll feel something unwanted, and my Fe will kick in and just tell me: “well, that’s too much feelings to bare, right? Let’s just feel uneasy and overthink about future scenarios with our buddy Ni”.

Talking about contexts, my number one rule about music is: it must enhance my emotional state in a positive way. When I’m in a bad mood I tend to avoid music, because I’m in a frail emotional state and even a sad song may be too much for me. On the opposite, if I’m ok, music is a tool to feel better, and if I’m cheerful and relaxed it can even make me feel energized and galvanized, which are very pleasurable emotional states. Why? Because as an enneagram 6, this is not the rule, as overthinking is one of my best friends. I’m working on it, farewells to childhood friends are always heartbreaking, but we must say goodbye to each other. I’m in better company now - hi anxiety. (Just kidding. R-right?)

 As an activity deeply tied to my emotional state and able to change it, I need to listen to music when I’m in a specific mood. Like I stated above, this usually happens when I feel relaxed or cheerful. There are days when I take the train, pull out my smartphone and play my go-to playlist, while others when I just don’t feel like it because I’m too upset or melancholic and I avoid the emotional turmoil caused by music. Sometimes I listen to my “typical energizing songs” after dinner to refresh my tired body and mind. But don’t expect something like reggaeton, disco or electronic music. Not that I'm against those genres, but there are simply other songs that make me feel better and give me energy. I love (and i mean l-o-v-e) listening to videogames or anime ost. I know, I’m not your average INFJ who listens to sad songs and cries in a corner (not that I need music to cry in a corner, that’s it). Jazz, pop, sometimes rock and funky-ish music are what usually brings me out of my videogames and anime playlist and allows me to enjoy more traditional genres.

Music is also an inspiring tool. Although I’m not a professional writer, it’s a passion I have and something i’m still nurturing and learning, and I always need a certain song to fit a specific mood, scene or character. Those are exceptions to the rule, so I find pleasure in sorrowful songs. If I’m outlining an unpleasant scene or I’m planning a negative character, music must reflect the context and put me in that mood. In this way I can empathize with a character and feel and visualize the scene vividly. 

ENFP mod

To me, music is literally a soundtrack. I live with my earbuds on, and listen to music while travelling, working on projects and so on. For this very reason, I enjoy a very broad variety of genres and artists, and I literally have different kinds of music that match my mood or the situation I’m in. If I’m sad or upset, I need sad music. If I’m enduring something or I’m under stress, I need something powerful. If it’s the end of a trip, I go for bittersweet lyrics. This tends to vary based on the emotions I’m feeling, but generally speaking there’s no way, ever, that I will listen to a song that doesn’t match my mood or what I need in that moment. At best, my emotional state is “neutral” and thus I summon the supreme power of the shuffle button.

Despite what I wrote before, my approach to music is very casual - which is a polite way to say that I’m lazy. I’m not very curious, there are genres that I cannot listen to because I don’t like them. Since music is deeply intertwined with how I feel, you could say I almost need a reason to listen to something. More often than not the reason is that the sound is catchy or the lyrics are meaningful - but lately I discovered that with the right context or the right amount of pop mixed into it, I can literally appreciate anything. So, well, good job jrpg games for putting power epic metal, pop rap and jazz into my playlists. This variety is important because I (my Fi, I think) often physically need music to shut the noise out and reflect - or simply feel. Especially when I’m feeling bad, or angry, or sad, or disappointed, music is a way to live through those emotions and understand them better. This is why, to me, a cheerful idol song on a blue monday is literally like someone stepping by my side and shouting “everything will be fine!!”. Gosh, just let me be sad and dwell into my sadness, Karen.

Typically I listen to music while commuting, or generally while travelling - especially if alone, or by car. I listen and enjoy the view outside the window, or maybe I reflect on something and let my mind wander. I rarely turn the volume up while reading or writing or studying, but I don’t mind ost and instrumental pieces while revising or organizing notes. Generally speaking, I noticed that I tend to listen to music way more often when I’m not at home.

I’m studying in a creative field that has also ties with communication, so I’m learning how important music is from a narrative point of view. I used to draw years ago, and now I write in my free time. Music is fundamental in my creative process in two aspects: ideas, and mood. I literally brainstormed entire plots just from casually listening to a song, because the lyrics or the artists reminded me of something else. My Ne works with associations, and music is one of the best way to let my imagination free from restraints - not that this usually doesn’t happen anyway I guess. But at the same time songs are ideal for setting a specific mood, finding a leitmotif or generally finding inspiration.

#mbti #mbti of whys #personality type #personality theory #psychological types #music #introv #extrovert #infj #enfp #fi aux #fe aux #typology #blogging #creativity #feelings #emotions

[thevampiremariusderomanus]

Interlude With the Undead- Armand’s Lesson

Interlude with the Undead Written for the January 1979 issue of Playboy.

The author of "Interview with the Vampire" reveals for the first time an all-too-human aspect of her singular subject.

In the book, "Interview with the Vampire," Louis, who has been a member of the living dead for some 200 years, tells the story of his life to the interviewer, a young radio reporter in San Francisco.

But the book as published represents only a portion of the tapes of that interview made by the reporter. Louis told the young man much that was not included, particularly with regard to the master vampire, Armand, whom he had met in Paris. One tale was Armand's account of his methods of seduction; that is, the art of the vampire at its peak in the year 1876.

ARMAND'S LESSON:

As I've told you, Louis, each vampire selects his victims in his own way. The world is a veritable wilderness of singular beauties and each night too precious too allow for the slightest waste. Each night is a wedding, really, and the vampire is wed to the unique and alluring charms of that victim as surely as he is wed to that victim's life. You hold the spirit incarnate in your arms.

For some of us, monstrous breed that we are, and such a discerning and voracious company, it is the struggle that holds the quintessential fulfillment, the thrashing of the waning lover seems to soothe the preternatural soul. This is nonsense, really. These innocent and unsuspecting victims can't really struggle against a power such as our own. What lurks beneath these gentlemanly trappings is a strength that is unconquerable. Yet there are vampires who crave the semblance of battle, saying that it is the human spirit they love, its endurance, its faith. I have no taste for violence, voluptuous as it may sometimes appear. It is the seduction that is perfectly in tune with this monster's heart. But do not mistake my meaning. It is not I who seduce the lovely beauties whom I take as my brides. It is they who seduce me through their dreams.

You see, they all want the embrace. There is a kernel in all of them that is "half in love with easeful death" and as I wander through the latenight streets in the chill hours, I can hear their plaintive sighs, a muted chorus rising from those beds, its rhythms penetrating the very walls. They summon me. They long for me. Gentleman Death, that has been my epithet, and I so treasure it. What gentleman can refuse a lady, after all?

Imagine her, my victim, caught in the maw of mortal life and so given to dreaming. She wants an extraordinary passion, something she's only glimpsed before and lost. The memory pricks her, a flicker in the recesses of her soul, a searing rapture known but for an instant when mortal and mortal intertwine.

It is for her summons that I listen, being myself sometimes the silent siren of death that can evoke that plea from her even as I quietly pass by. No one hears my steps. I do not hear them. It seems until she offers that faint murmur, I am not even there. These winding, narrow medieval streets shroud me, no moon cuts between the jutting roofs and I am cold, cold for her as I wander, waiting with a lover's devotion for that perfect call.

You know that our preternatural flesh cannot dispel the icy air that settles on our limbs. Ours is the chill of the wind howling through eternity.

So you can well imagine the ineffable sweetness of the moment of selection, of moving out of that damp and merciless might into the bedchamber. No two of them are the same.

I need not see her. I know she's there. A warmth emanates from her living flesh and, drawing near, I see the shape of that warmth--tender, helpless, prone. There is something melancholy, sad about her nestled among the trinkets of her mortal life, the soft bed, her loose and fragrant garments, remnants of girlhood--she sleeps with the trusting sleep of the child. I tell you if I were not the monster, I would be touched. But back to the pliant treasure herself, breathing deeply in her dreams. Is it more vivid, that dream, as I draw close to her? It seems I see her eyelids flutter, she shapes a name with her lips. I tell you, she knows that the object of her inexpressible longing is there. She feels these eyes on her naked shoulders, this hand on the pale-petal flesh of her soft thigh. It is seduction, remember.

There is never violence. I tell you that all embraces, no matter how tender, are surfeited with violence. Violence is the throbbing of the unsatisfied heart. Violence is the desperate pulsing of that tender fold between the legs, that precious cleft that shapes its own emptiness; violence is the restless turning of her limbs. This is the heart and core of all violence for which the rest is rude metaphor, rough deceiving, a lie born of abused passion and broken dreams. You want the true violence? Neglect her. Then bend your head to her breasts and rest it there, to hear that awful moan.

"Half in love with easeful death" is half in love with life still. She awakes shivering and I feel my lips surrender to a smile. I know too well that I might quiet her with the stroke of my hand even as its coldness shocks her, but let her wake just a little to the crude world of lamps and torn realities. Let her see her demon lover. Let her see these eyes adoring her. Let her know that in serving me she will make me utterly and completely her slave.

Have I ever failed? It's natural enough, that question. The world is rife with passionate women, so you wonder have they drawn back from me, fought, begged for reprieve? Has some dim alarm ever sounded in the depths of those heaving breasts? Weren't these women just a little frightened by this fervent gaze? Never. Forgive my laughter, you don't understand the promise of my caress.

They have struggled too long and in vain for union, these succulent mortal beauties, they've known the prisons of their own flesh too well. Observe the flare of those narrow hips, the subtle curve of the buttocks; these are but the contours of a dungeon cell. See how their love acts have so often resembled the quarrel, how they've thrashed and, alone afterwards, lain uneasy in half sleep.

Mine is the embrace that will penetrate that isolation, mine is the kiss that will delve to the root of the soul. She knows it, my bride; she knows it without my saying it; she knows it with an instinct that is all too human and that we immortals too quickly forget. Imagine her splendid terror and how easily it melts to languor in my arms. She is meek, pliant, on the verge of some awesome awakening. She hardly feels the little tear. The breath hisses low from between her pearl-white teeth, her eyelids show the barest gleam beneath the dark lash. She cannot know how my pulse quickens with her pulse, how my heart feeds upon her heart, how pulling me toward her, I draw the heated perfumed elixir from her with my own soul, pulling the cords of her being warm through her veins.

She is so warm.

Do I have to tell you how that smooth tight flesh of her arching back burns my fingers, how those taut nipples brand my chest? She is listless, fading. One arm drops to her side, hands close weakly on the lost coverlet and, turning from me even as she is given over to me, her eyes are veiled with her silken hair.

And yet my monster's eye charts her swoon. This is the union she has longed for, and with the cunning of the beast, I have let her go too soon. I measure her, I hold her, I tingle with the life she's given me and see her moist limbs as the vessel of my mounting passion, alive as I am with her life and soothed and tormented as she is with mine.

Nothing divides us now. Her fingers prod, I savor the groans, those piquant and spirited utterances. She's mine.

Ah, but you know the price of this modulation, this rhythm. She cannot imagine my thirst for her. If she placed her hand on the marble stone in the churchyard at midnight, she might begin to understand this harrowing loneliness and, with it, she would come to know my art. I draw back from her, aching for her. I hold her, this struggling sparrow in my easy grip.

How long will that taste of her content me? It is sweet to touch her bent neck, her tousled hair. But she's given me her life's blood; what am I to give in return?

Yes, I said the word, return. Perhaps all along, you've thought me some hard and simple monster who would trick her in her sublime pleasure and give her only darkness finally as her reward? You underestimate me, you fail to understand the fire and the fiber of my own dreams. And she's too tender to me, little bride. You misunderstand the whole affair.

Rather, I become the fount of secrets. I let her part the open shirt with her own hands. I can feel her lips, quivering, virginal, that touching eagerness, I let her taste, I let her drink, and she is wild. Now I can see the incandescence of a vampire in her eyes, a shimmer to that beguiling form. The clock ticks, the wind whispers in the passage. There is much for her to learn. But she is spent now with the first undulating wave and I am in no great haste to bring this to its close.

Rather, I lie like the bridegroom with her, as if accustomed to these mortal beds and their trappings, and I have time for mortal dreams. You know that we never forget it. Vampire, Nosferatu, Virdilak. What have we all in common? What separates our cloaked and smiling figures from the other unholy inhabitants of the monster realm? Simply this: that we all were and still are men.

So let me dream for a while. Let me be young. Let me become some anxious, urgent creature riding as I did in the days of brief life through the open country fields. I feel the horse under me, his striding power. The wheat blows in the wind. And through the shifting trees, I see the sun again, warm as by bride's blood; it falls on my face, on my hands. It is her blood that makes this real as I lie there, but even as the sky is shot with those swift gold-edged clouds, it's fading, fading. I must wake. I would lead my fledgling further on.

And she? She dreams as a vampire now. She stirs. And limp and somnolent, she falls into my waiting arms.

What would you have now? That is, if you were I?

Should I usher her into the timeless life on my own? I think not. Look at that superb young form; what does it cry for, if not for another woman equally as beautiful; if not for the craft of another lady-love, supple, scented and schooled by me? And waiting on these dreary winter nights as she always waits for the fledglings that I bring her, for what is always best when shared. This is a dance for three.

Imagine the patience of such a lady-love, dark-haired, succulent; is she petulant when she sees my new bride? What of the postulant herself in such encounters; does she spurn the skilled and nurtured woman to whom I present her? What do you think? Must I instruct my ladylove to flaunt her treasures? Oh, no. She bends with an unconcealed abandon and I see my new bride, afflicted, helplessly drawn. I wonder, would it give the master a little more pleasure if they did not go so willingly into each other's perfumed arms? A cold agony comes over me in watching the soft crush of breast to breast. I see their lips drinking one from the other with a mortal urgency I'd forgotten; they moan with some submissive sentiment I no longer know.

I cannot bear it any longer. I cannot be content with a feast only for my eyes. This is what I've waited for too long, slaves shaped to the will of the master, they may command me. I feel the prick of the hot skin again, that searing luxuriant gush, one and then the other of them, and back again, first my dark and sultry ladylove, then my shimmering bride. When will it ever end, when will I be permitted to rest? It seems these hearts so perfectly tuned now to my own will not release me, they will not permit me to withdraw. My mistresses are merciless. I was a kinder master. "Do you love me?" comes the plaintive question as I lead them. "Do you love me?" as I gaze into those glittering eyes. Their lips are blood red, fledgling teeth tease the tender flesh. "Do you love me?" comes the desperate entreaty as I gather them against my monstrous and lonely breast, lonely, lonely beyond their dazzling preternatural dreams. "Do you love me?" comes the whisper again, even as the sun dissolves the shadows. But their mute and smiling faces are pitiless. And, my anguishes complete, "Do you love me?" I implore them again.

#anne rice #the vampire chronicles #the vampire lestat #Armand #the vampire armand

[meditativeyoga]

Zazen: The art of just sitting

We are of the viewpoint that equilibrium is needed so that our lifestyle doesn't lead us to exhaustion. We wish to discover the ways to change our way of being so that every aspect of our living interact. And we prefer every one of this to occur 'naturally'-- not with pressure of initiative, yet with emphasis and also tranquility. Being Zen people, we balance the fee of day-to-day living with moment-by-moment existence, and also the key to doing this is meditation.

Zazen is the Japanese name for seatsed reflection-- the term approximately implies, 'resting still, like a mountain.' It is the one typical practice that unifies essentially all Eastern philosophies.

In the West, meditation has been adjusted for Western sensibilities. Jon Kabat-Zinn, for example, has actually established Mindfulness Reflection for use in healthcare facilities. He's taken Zazen from Buddhism, [or the Buddhism out of Zazen!] and is getting excellent outcomes with individuals recovering from cardiovascular disease, surgeries, stress-related illnesses, et al.

This Western method has its focus on using reflection as a 'relaxation tool.' It is therefore an 'include on,' made use of to combat a disease [a dis-ease] Mindfulness Meditation is a little bit like a 'pill wherefore ails you,' as well as is doled out to assist hyper active individuals run also faster.

Our point of view is definitely extra 'typical.' We see the problem as 'imbalance'.

Our view is that 'fast repairs' do not address the deepness of the issue-our propensity to disregard ourselves, and also to bend ourselves right into knots-- in order to fit some pre-conceived idea of just how adults need to act. We get captured in a loophole of excess, and also after that seek ways to respond to the damage.

We think about Zazen to be the structure from which whole, existing, involved, as well as enthusiastic living springtimes. From this perspective, balance is vital, and also being centred takes priority over excess.

In order to understand equilibrium, let's talk Qi [energy]

Qi can be found in two flavours-- Yin and Yang. Right here are few qualities:

Yin is feminine, easy, dark as well as deep.

Yang is manly, energetic, light and shallow.

Qi is like a coin. It cannot aid yet have 2 sides. A coin is 'balanced.' Each side is precisely the same 'size' as its opposite, as well as each represents one 'dynamic' of the whole. It is impossible to assume of [or have!] an one-sided or unbalanced coin. Qi is constantly looking for balance.

The distinction between us and also a coin is that we have the option of exactly what we emphasise, and also since of this, are often un-balanced. In the 21st century, the standard is Yang-ness. The emphasis gets on reasoning, doing, power, aggressiveness. Yin-ness-- intuiting, showing, and depth is frequently viewed of as weakness.

Initial explorations of Qi originated from the Taoists

The name Qi was picked for the 'unnameable, unknowable pressure' that brings the World right into being. When Qi remains in balance, all is well. Understanding as well as focus is required so that equilibrium is maintained.

From this viewpoint, each particular 'flavour' of Qi discovers its balance in the various other, i.e. dark/light. As for energy itself, the activity of yang is always sustained by the deepness and also fluidness of yin. Yin, in the background, offers the framework for all activity, much as a whiteboard [yin] holds exactly what is created [yang] Not a really Western suggestion in any way. The passive 'whiteboard' is considereded as 'simply a device' for the essential stuff. Because of a determined lack of focus on depth and tranquility, individuals operating from this 'modern-day' understanding are often candidates for tension relevant illnesses.

The option is NOT to slap on the 'Band-Aid' of a little bit of meditation. Our company believe it's to re-balance our top priorities by connecting with the circulation of our power itself-- to intuit its nature as well as to alleviate it via any type of blockages. Zazen is a fine method to do this. We sit to establish an unified body/mind/spirit. Zazen is not goal drivened-- it's not actually a task per se-- it's a means of being.

Two misunderstandings concerning Zazen

Zazen is not concerning quiting thinking: That's impossible. Besides, our assumed procedures in and also of themselves do not get us right into trouble. Consider it by doing this. The activity of our mind is to produce ideas, simply like the task of our pancreatic is to create insulin. Assuming is an all-natural task. Difficulty comes when:

We perplex our thoughts with truth, and

When we cling to our thoughts.

Zazen, then, has to do with sitting with our thoughts, without either evaluating them, or clinging to them. Thoughts become like clouds drifting before a blue sky.

Zazen has no point: We do not rest to achieve something. There's an old Zen tale about the trainee who states, with satisfaction, "I have released thinking!" His master replies, "No let go of believing that you have released thinking!"

We sit in order to rest. We take a breath to breathe. As thoughts arise, we watch them float by. If we discover ourselves distracted, we go back to 'simply resting.'

There is no objective. It's not regarding discovering an 'answer,' and Zazen is not a competition. At any time we set up an objective, [the length of time we sit for, exactly how 'advanced' we are, exactly how 'deep' our thoughts are, etc.] our entire emphasis ends up being thinking of our 'score.' We get shed in the act of contrast, even if we are just contrasting ourselves to ourselves.

Here's how to do Zazen

Briefly, there are 4 methods to sit, plus remaining on a chair-- however, chair sitting, to my point of view, is just for the infirm.

The rest of us remain on pillows or benches. In a post of this length, I actually can't define the poses adequately, or reveal you exactly how to use cushions or a bench.

So below's a video explanation including me!

What I can tell you is what every one of the 'poses' have in common

Zazen is a technique, as well as to complete what it achieves, you do the following:

You sit upright. Not ramrod directly, however with a 'stacked back.' Your shoulders are over your hips, as well as you are not tipped back and forth or front to back. In the video, I show you a simple method to accomplish this.

Your head is a little down, eyes open, looking 4 feet in front of you.

Your right hand is hand up in your lap, your left hand is palm up in your right-hand man, as well as your thumbs are touching lightly.

You are breathing with your nose, quietly.

Your attention is 'simply there.' As you sit, you are aware of noises, temperature, physical feelings, etc. You understand as thoughts arise. The key: as you bring your focus on any type of one thing, simply have a breath, and allow go of thinking of it.

you fixate on something [you will!], bring your attention back to 'simply resting.'

If you desire, you could count breaths. Start counting each out and in breath. As you observe you are believing as opposed to counting, go back to counting, starting at "1." You could then start counting simply the out breaths.

Walking meditation

Simply walk slowly, in an upright stance, meticulously placing one foot, then shifting your weight, and also placing another. Hands are folded up across your heart. The concept is to transform your focus to each action, and return to this as your mind wanders.

Living meditation

Meditating on a mat is one point. Living your reflection is one more, and also taking your reflection right into the world is what Zazen is all about.

Once you have practised a little bit, you will observe that your body/mind/spirit reverberates with resting. This vibration could be strengthened by bringing presence right into day to day activities.

Cook: You might, for example, prepare a dish mindfully. When chopping veggies, cut veggies. As your mind wanders, bring it back to the action of 'knife with veggie.' Maintain your mind focussed just on the step of the process that you are doing.

Eat the exact same means. Change to eating a dish a day with chopsticks. Or, if you usually utilize chopsticks, change to one meal with knife as well as fork. Decrease. Eat. Taste.

Do your job in this manner. When doing just what you are doing, quit acting you could multi-task and do one thing. With complete interest, with calm breath.

Eat an orange

Select an orange. Set the orange down before you. Take a look at it. See how the light mirrors off of it. Consider the colour, appearance, and also all the little pores. Actually look.

Now, scuff your finger nail along the skin, and hear the noise. Pierce the skin, as well as start peeling, and direct your attention to the audio of peeling off, then to the sound of separating the segments.

Go back to looking-- seeing how the orange items look.

Bring the skin to your nose, and also scent it. Set it down. Bring a section to your nose, and also smell it. Give it a little press and smell again.

Squish among the sectors in your fingers, and also actually feel the pulp, juice, as well as any type of seeds or pith.

Pop a section into your mouth, and also eat it gradually. See if you could take 5 mins to consume one section. Actually preference it!

Take one more sector, and also rub it on your arm or leg, or simply get imaginative, as well as utilize your body to really feel the orange section.

Now, stop, and go either wash or tube off. [I'll wait till you come back ...]

Think about your experience

These basic games call us to presence-- they aid us to be in our bodies, engaging our power, and sensation intimately what it resembles to be alive.

From this location of visibility, living is not something we do, yet rather is that we are.

This integrity modifications everything.

#meditating #meditation #Mindfulness Meditation #walking meditation #Yoga

[pikelansource]

What a good day to imagine the day after the first two weeks Scanlan officially moves in with Pike and Grog.

Not the first day or even the first couple weeks. But right after that.

Because that’s when it really sinks in that

a) Scanlan is actually truly common law living with the woman of his dreams.

b) Scanlan is actually truly common law occupying and Co-owning (???) a home.

Both of which had always seemed like far-fetched improbabilities for decades. And while the former is a daily surprise and delight, the latter is slightly more mysterious.

It takes a full two weeks before Scanlan almost sheepishly approaches Pike at breakfast. “So we need to fix the cistern?” He says after a huge considering pause.

Pike thinks for a second and nods. She mentioned in passing the other day it was leaking and needed to be fixed before winter. “Do you wanna do that today?”

She marvels briefly over the luxury of time they had these days, for leisurely breakfasts and household chores any old time. Instead of racing against some threat to whole entire cities.

Scanlan’s eyes widen and Pike has to struggle to realize he looks taken aback—it’s an expression she sees so rarely on his face. “I mean, sure. Yes,” he says in recovery. “Just quickly though, what? Is a cistern? And why do we have one?”

“It’s the water tank out back. It collects rainwater for the garden and for washing.”

“Oh yeah, yes. Is there a... landlord or handyman we hire for that?”

Pike bites the inside of her lip for a second so she doesn’t smile too much. “I suppose we could go into town and find someone to fix it but I think we can manage. But, you know, we don’t have a landlord.”

“Right, yeah, I didn’t think so. We don’t... pay rent?”

“No.”

“We pay...?”

Pike bites a little harder, and feels a little bad for how out of his depth Scanlan looks. “Well, taxes. To the city. And upkeep.”

“That sounds normal.”

Having become probably an expert in the small expressions on Scanlan’s face he tried to hide, Pike sees that he looks slightly unsettled by that statement and a laugh finally escapes her mouth.

“You were there when we got the Keep up and running, weren’t you?”

There’s a blush to his ears. “Of course I was there. But I just gave Vex my money and then she hired people do care about this kind of stuff. I’ve only ever just given people money to do... the maintaining. Or, you know, stayed some place for a night or a week. So I think I should come clean... I have no idea what I have to do in this house.”

“I kind of got that impression when I saw you try to hide that broken cupboard knob behind the flour in the pantry.”

“Oh. I didn’t know you saw that.”

Pike laughs and reaches out to tousle Scanlan’s hair a little, just because she can. When he wrinkles his nose, she tucks it back behind his ear. “Poor old man. You’ve been a wanderer so long. You don’t even know how houses work.”

“That wasn’t intended to invoke sympathy. Or pity.”

“Well you can have it anyway.”

Scanlan reaches closer and holds her hand. “You’re just going have to teach me the proper way to home ownership. Guide me; I’m in your hands. I’m your pupil.”

“I think this teacher student aspect of our relationship is going to be much less sexy than you want it to be. It’s mostly about preventing mildew.”

“Shh, shh, just go with it.”

“Alright. Let’s start with putting that cupboard handle back on. Go get my screwdriver. Student.”

Scanlan grins lazily and affects a little starry-eyed look. “In Ioun’s name.” Pike tries not spit out her coffee.

They get a few chores done that morning. Scanlan puts in a good effort even discounting the several unseen servants he casts for assistance.

#pikelan #pike trickfoot #scanlan shorthalt #post vm #critical role #long post

[creaturecarnival]

Fallout’s Plants

A post nuclear wasteland isn’t exactly a botanist's dream, but the Fallout universe makes that anything but untrue. I fell in love with the franchise around the time I was 14, after a prophetic dream about Mobile homes. I bought New Vegas, died a lot, and then went on to only ever play fallout 3 until I figured out how to be Good at Video Games. Fallout 4 came out not too long after, and my hype for the franchise has stuck. Don’t get me wrong, the games are awful, but when has something like that ever stopped me before?

A botanist's guide to the Wasteland

Fallout plants

Venus Man-eaters- Cordyceps aren’t the only thing mutated in that vault. Venus Flytraps had to get in on the action too!! They aren’t actually called venus man-eaters in the game, no, they’re called “Spore Plants.” But that’s lame and I’ve personally retconned their name. You can thank me later, Todd. They look like absolute goofballs. They hack up and spitooy a glob of green spore stuff at you, and are a blast to fight. They’re actually in the second fallout, and you can rip off their spikes to use as a little knife! 

Sundews- Sundews are literally the reason I even purchased Fallout 76. No really, they are. The trailers I saw were interesting enough, they advertised a fun little game of exploration and survival. Yeah, i’d buy that on sale given the chance. But sundews? Huge, potentially intelligent sundews that lure you into their groves and kill you? I was Immediately hyped. I thought about all the possibilities they could bring. Could they lure you in with high level loot but then act as an ever shifting maze leading you to your eventual starvation? Could they grab onto you and force you to shoot at them? 

Stranglers- Part of one of the promotional interviews for fallout 76 mentioned “Intelligent Plants,” heavily implying sundews. PSYCH! It was these orange vine thingys that infest the scariest area of Appalachia: The Mire. It isn’t the most dangerous, however it is a big spooky swamp with the creepiest enemies, squirming gulper salamanders and the Vicious aforementioned Anglers. An event quest allows you to try and defeat the “Heart of the Swamp,” a huge, Little Shop of Horrors plant mouth that summons Strangler infested enemies. Such fun!

Fever Blossom- Fever blossums are really REALLY pretty flowers that you can find in Fo4’s best DLC “Nuka World.” They’re bright blue and they grow on nasty looking stems. But the really kicker is when you’re assigned to go collect them to make a frenzy effect grenade for the Diciples, a raider group known for their intense sadism. You need to go collect fever blossoms to do this, implying that they will make you Angry if ingested. Imagine that. You and your ghoul buddy Steve are wandering the wastes and he dares you to eat this flower, and next thing you know you’re beating the radioactive snot out of him for no actual reason. My kinda thing!

Lure Weed- Lure weeds are a sham. You don’t really need them. It’s not worth the risk, lest you fall prey to the dreaded “Angler.” Lure weed’s whole purpose is look exactly like the protruding lures of the terrible beasts. But the problem is, there’s no real reason to go get lure weed at all! They’re only used to make two consumables, and unless you REALLY want Seasoned Wolf Ribs, it’s best to avoid them altogether

Gutshroom- gutshrooms were added post release, the same time a new (albeit pretty lame) dungeon “the burrows” was. They go hand in hand with actual guts, added to the loot table of small animals at the same time. The concept is fun, if a little unusual. I’m not sure what they’re actually for, though. Are they to make players think they’re in a dangerous area when they’re actually not? Are they supposed to look good and add to the cramped, soggy atmosphere of the sewer system? 

Firecap- firecaps are bright orange mushrooms that are found in the forest area of fallout 76. They kinda do look a bit like fire, but not really. I like their almost animal like veins all over them, they’re really neat. There’s not a whole lot to them, but I appreciate their simplicity.

Snaptails- These mutated cattails are the first plant I found and photographed in my Fallout 76 botanical adventure 9000. They’re not much different than regular cattails, other than their flowers have become huge, bloated, and presumably very hard. They hold a special place in my heart, and I make sure to snatch a few when I get the chance.

Ginseng root- hehe it looks like a tiny man

Punga Fruit- Punga fruit is an important aspect of Fallout 3’s DLC “point lookout.” They’re weird looking fruits that are a staple to the diet of the inbred, unfairly powerful hillbilly locals (that and the occasional tourist!) It has a “mother of all Punga” and that’s used to drug the Lone Wanderer so they can cut your brain out. It’s sinister, scary, and probably tastes like farts.

Corpse Flower- YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love these things!!! I’ve always had a fascination with corpse flowers, and when I learned that they were in the game, I wasted no time in trying to photograph them. It was part of an event quest where I tried to defend them from critters, but I am bad at video games, so RIP corpse flowers I guess. I can only imagine how they got into the West Virginia ecosystem!! A zoo? That would explain the sloths! Vault 94? Most likely, but also that’s not as fun as the idea of a potential zoo we could go to in the future! Nuka world’s Ghoulrillas, Brahmiluffs, Gazelles, and Gatorclaws were ok, but I need mORE!!!

Firecracker Berry- Firecracker berries are a wonderful source of food and jumpscares. They have one gimmick: when you get too close, they explode, making tiny high pitched firework noises. Cute! 

Glowing Resin- Ok actually, I’m not too confident that this stuff is a plant. Maybe it is? Maybe it's a huge pulsating lichen for all I know. Maybe it’s deathclaw snot. Maybe it’s an excess of radioactive stuff that the tree is expelling out of it’s system in the form of a toxic sap. Who knows! Whatever it is, it looks nasty.

Pitcher Plants- These things can be found in several places in West Virginia, and I don’t like them. Like, there’s nothing wrong, it’s just that they’re so underused. They have basically the same shtick as sundews: they spray a cloud of stinky at you when you get to close. Where’s the fun in that? I wish they did something like antlions where you can’t help but draw close, and you need to kill it before it swallows you whole!! 

Glowing Mushrooms- yeah yeah, theres not a whole lot going on with these things. What do they do? Well they glow. That’s pretty much it. They are basically made so that when you go into caves, you arent stuck in pitch black. But the thing about them is that they’re just so….so…. Nice! They’re just quality shrooms living their best life and helping wastelanders and mutants alike navigate the underground.

Brain Fungus- I always wondered what these things actually came from. Mold? Mushrooms? Puffballs? Who knows. I’m not sure what they are, but I love the way they grow; all over walls, clustering around like barnacles. I also love the fact that due to radiation, mushrooms just kind of decided to turn into brains for no decernable reason. I love it.

Tato- Tatos are, by all means and observations, just regular old tomatoes. I don’t think they really have any mutations at all, aside from the strange bendy and twisted stems that are ever so common in post-nuclear plants. I don’t have much to say about this, I really didn’t want to reveiw already existing plants such as corn, broc flowers, aster, etc., but “Tato” just so happens to be the name of our late tomato frog. I had a strange relationship with him, one of my paranoia that my pet would die and one of mutual respect. Rest in Peace tato, you will always find love from me.

FOOTNOTE: this is not in any way all of the plants i had intended. its just that this was supposed to be done like a month ago so i need to do this now, and leave out some stuff

#Mod Brainworm

[gogh-save-the-bees]

Fibromyalgia Masterpost

As someone who has struggled with severe chronic and pain fatigue for over a decade and have recently been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia - I have decided to research my condition amd educate myself on my symptoms.

Fibromyalgia, also called fibromyalgia syndrome (FMS), is a long-term condition that causes pain all over the body. As well as widespread pain, people with fibromyalgia may also have: increased sensitivity to pain. fatigue (extreme tiredness) muscle stiffness.

Through my own research i have learned that many difficulties i have are directly linked to Fibromyalgia. There are over 200+ symptoms and while not everyone will expereince all of them, we experience our own combonation of debilitating symptoms.

With anything, education is key.

If you have fibromyalgia, have a family member or friend with the condition or would like to be more educated on the condition this post can help.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional and do not claim to know everything about fibromyalgia. This post will not list everything so i urge you to do your own research. And if you have any of these symptoms, go to your doctor!

Symptoms (most common)

All over pain is the most common symptom of fibromyalgia but the syndrome causes many others. Extreme fatigue , trouble sleeping and feeling stiff and achy. Your ability to think and make decisions can be affected (this is known as fibro-fog).

As well as widespread pain, your muscles can be very tight and knotted. They can be painful to touch and they radiate pain to other areas - these firm knots are myofascial trigger points. (These knots are commonly used to diagnose fibromyalgia in a physical pressure point exam)

Other Symptoms

Cold feet and hands

Feeling cold often/feeling hot often

Heart palpitations

Craving carbohydrates

Symptoms worsened by temperature changes

Unexplained weight gain or loss

Joint pain

Feeling spaced out

Restless Leg Syndrome

Noise intolerance

Scalp Pain (like hair being pulled out)

Sensation that you might faint/ Syncope (fainting)

Tinnitus (ringing in one or both ears)

Photophobia (sensitivity to light)

“Growing” pains that don’t go away once you are done growing

Transposition (reversal) of numbers, words and/or letters when you speak

Difficulty with long-term memory/and short-term momory

Difficulty following conversation (especially if background noise present)

Difficulty expressing ideas in words

Blind spots in vision

Eye pain

Excessive sleeping

Difficulty falling asleep/ Difficulty staying asleep

Difficulty balancing

Vivid or disturbing dreams/nightmares

Sensitivity to the sun

Bruising easily

Sensory overload

Allodynia (hypersensitive to touch)

Menstrual problems

Suicidal thoughts

Irritability

Abrupt and/or unpredictable mood swings

Frequent crying

Diagnosis, Medical Help and Treatment

If you think you or someone you know has fibromyalgia go see your doctor. Tell them about your symptoms and explain that you think it might be fibromyalgia. Keep in mind that a diagnosis can take time and you have to be persistant and in many cases fight for your diagnosis!

Common treatment involves pain medication, anti-depressants, physiotherapy and therapy (CBT and pain managment).

Self Help

The most common coping technique for chronic pain is breathing exercises and meditation. Try the following,

Put yourself in a relaxed, reclined position in a dark/or low-light room. You can shut your eyes or focus on a point.

Begin to slow down your breathing. Breathe in deeply, using your chest. If you find your mind wandering or you are distracted, then think of a word, such as the word "Relax," and think it in time with your breathing...the syllable "re" as you breathe in and "lax" as you breathe out.

Do this for 2 to 3 minutes or until you feel relaxed.

Now that you feel yourself slowing down, you can try to use imagery techniques, like the ones below.

Positive imagery

Focus your attention on a pleasant place that you can imagine going to - the beach, mountains, a place where you feel safe and relaxed.

Positive self-talk

Encourage yourself and tell yourself: I can do this, I am strong and capable. Find a positive coping statement or affirmation that works for you (even if you don't believe it at first!). Write it down and memorise it for when you need it.

Counting

Counting is a good way to deal with painful episodes. You can count aloud or in your head. You can count breaths, the number of yellow items in your room, the floor tiles, or even visualise some sheep and count them!

Grounding techniques

Look around you, what do you see, hear, smell, sense? Say aloud (or in your head):

5 things you can see? 4 things that you can touch? 3 things you can feel? 2 thing you can smell?

It can also be helpful to use sensory items like plushies, fidgets, slime, and more! Anything that brings you comfort or joy or relaxation.

Pamper yourself

Do something you really enjoy, or do something relaxing like a bubble bath!

Mindfullness Box

Make a box of items that remind you to use the techniques that help, or put photos on paper, or write and decorate a list. (This box can be filled with items to help with depressive episodes)

The daily fight with fibromyalgia goes beyond pain management and fatigue and it's important to be educated on all aspects of the condition.(Especially if you or someone you care for has a diagnosis)

What are the facts

Fibromyalgia is a neurological illness and involves neurotransmitters (chemical messengers in the brain) that are also involved in some mental illness. This means that depression and anxiety are common overlapping conditions in fibromyalgia.

Stress is a major exacerbating factor in many, if not most, cases of fibromyalgia. It's suspected as a causal factor and known to make symptoms worse and cause flare-ups.

It is also believed that childhood trauma may alter the body's physiological stress response leading to illness later in life.

Looking after your mental health is just as important as physical treatments when treating fibromyalgia. (I should state that fibromyalgia is a chronic illness and that there is no cure for the condition.)

When it comes to fibromyalgia patients seeking mental health help it's not much different from someone without the condition seeking similar help.

The major difference would be around pain managment and the emotional distress that comes with daily pain and the inability to live a normal life. It's common for fibromyalgia sufferers to feel hopless/helpless and worthless alongsides feelings of frustration.

It is believed that depressive episodes, mood swings, suicidal thoughts and suicidal attempts are all symptoms of fibromyalgia and it is very common for fibro-sufferes to struggle severly with poor mental health.

Treatments such as anti-depressants, anxiety medications and therapy are commonly suggested alongsides pain medications. Both help the other as stress and low mood decrease our ability to cope with pain.

Mental Health Techniques

Keep a mood diary

This will help you keep track of any changes in your mood, and you might find that you have more good days than you think. It can also help you notice if any activities, places or people make you feel better or worse.

Connect with people

A good support network will always be a good thing. Having people you can reach out to when in distress is a important part of recovery and having good mental health.

Take control

If the problem has a solution, make it happen! Don't let thoughts like "i cant do anything" hold you back as they only add to the problem. But,

Accept the things you can't change

Changing a difficult situation isn't always possible. Especially when you have a disability. Instead, try to concentrate on the things you do have control over.

Try to be positive

Look for the positives in life, and things for which you're grateful. Challenge thoughts like "I can't do this" or "there's no point" or anytype of thoughts which are negative and defeatist. They won't help, chuck them out!

TIP: Try writing down 3 things that went well, or for which you're grateful, at the end of every day.

Work smarter

What i mean is, some tasks are more important than other. As someone with a chronic illness it's not always, if at all possible to do more than one task a day. Often we are forced to choose between making food or cleaning and we have to learn to prioritise based on a number of factors. Don't feel bad when you can't do a lot or even anything, your pain and illness is valid and the last thing you need is to feel guilty about something you can't control.

If you have to choose between washing the dishes or preventing a flare up - your health wins everytime.

Diet, sleep and exercise...

It can be frustrating we all you hear is "you should exercise, eat healthy and have a good sleep routine..." and somehow people think that this will heal us. This is not the case.

Yes, a healthy diet, sleep schedule and light exercise is good for us but it's not as easy for us to achieve. There are many factors that make access to these difficult (poverty being the big one). But, lets ignore that for now (like everyone else does).

Okay, lets say we eat a healthy diet. We can't always follow a sleep routine because we have severe pain that is generally worse at night. We also struggle with other symptoms that are more prominant at night (restless leg syndrome, heat intolerence, twitching, nightmares...) that make getting to sleep and staying asleep very difficult. And, exercise is the hardest of them all. We cant go to the gym and get our sweat on. It's not in the cards. Every chronically ill person has been told to eat healthier, sleep better and exercise and it's not helpful. In fact, it only adds to our stress. If you don't know what you're talking about (e.g. you suffer from a similar chronic illness or are a medical professional) then shut up!

Excerise when you can. Don't excert yourself. Swimming is one of the best options. Eat as healthy as you can (but any food is better than nothing) and try your best to keep a sleep routine. But don't stress when these things arent possible, they won't cure you, they will only help you decrease your symptoms and make them more managable.

This has been a long post, congradulation on making it to the end! I hope this post has been educational and helpful in some way or another. Feel free, encouraged even, to reach out to me with any questions, i am happy to amswer any to the best of my ability. Please reblog this post so other fibromyalgia sufferes can have a read and add to the post if they wish.

I would also like to add that i am looking for fellow spoonies to follow on here and instagram (@gogh_save_the_bees) give me a follow and ill do that back!

#fibromyalgia #chronically ill #chronic pain #chronic fatigue #masterpost #information post #mental heath support #positive mental health #mental health #positivity #positive #disability #disabled #disabilties #self help #recovery #affirmations #text post #depression #personal #text #positive mental attitude #anxiety #signal boost #long post #fibrofighter #fibrowarrior