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#im so nice lol
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since it’s my birthday, could you possibly do a birthday sex, with jake and josh? it can be as rough as you want
Of course I can darling.
"That's all you want for your birthday?" Josh asked suprised. "The both of you. At once. That's all I want." You say softly, the butterflies in your stomach going crazy as you await their answer. Jake and Josh look at eachother, looking timid to speak, instead opting for a silent twin conversation. "It's not like we haven't thought about this before." Jake finally speaks, his statement suprises you, "You have?" You ask, your voice giving away just how shocked you are. "I mean, we both have wanted to... ya know, separately but we knew it would be too jealous of who you'd choose." Josh corroborates, this admission makes your face blush like crazy. These boys, these two dreamy men who on more than one occasion made your fingers wander while restless under the sheets, they both wanted you? "I must be dreaming." You giggle out quietly, Jake's hand slinks up your knee from your place on the floor.
"Not a dream baby, this is all real." Josh says crawling over to sit by your side, his hand moving the hair out of your face and behind your ear. "Are you sure this is what you want?" He asks softly in your ear. "I've never been more sure of anything in my life." You whisper as the both of them move their hands all over your body, waiting for your consent before making a move. "Relax baby," Josh whispers as he kisses against your neck, his hand resting on your hip, "Let us take care of you." Jake says tenderly as his hand moves up your skirt, sitting against your thigh. You let your head fall back with a sigh, letting them consume your body. Josh kisses up over your neck, your throat, below your ear, then finally kisses your lips. You can feel your heart beat picking up the pace as he slips his tongue in your mouth. You sigh into the kiss as Jake kisses up all over your thigh, using his hands to move your legs apart. Your back leans against the couch behind you as the three of you sit on the soft rug beneath.
Jake positions himself between your legs, taking your attention away from Josh's kiss. Just the sight of him like this makes your breath hitch. His hand reaches out to reach between your thighs, feeling how soaked you already are, you gasp out at the presence of his touch, the welcomed preassure of his fingers over your panties makes the fire within you grow. "You really have been thinking of this for a while, haven't you doll?" Jake smiles up at you, his fingers slowly running in a circular motion, waiting for your answer. "Y-Yes." You huff out in a sigh, Josh let's his hand run down to your panties, feeling for himself just how wet you are. "Fuck, baby." He whispers out, he slips his hand into your underwear, his middle finger slowly stroking your clit. You let your head fall back as you open your legs wider for the two of them, Jake slides your panties down as Josh continues swirling his finger over your clit, moans cascading from you in return. Jake sits up on his knees as he comes over to you, you look to him as he takes your face in his hands, pulling you in for a delicate kiss, somehow so intimate as if it were just the two of you. He undoes the tie on your shirt, revealing your breasts to him, the boys suprised at your lack of bra makes you smile to yourself. Jake pulls the shirt over your head, he lets his hand slip between your breasts and between your legs as well. Josh keeps his position as Jake slips a finger inside of you, the two of them playing your body like a well mastered instrument. They may be Taurus' but they move like Geminis, twins moving perfectly together to make you feel so beautiful. Josh kisses you all over your neck and the tops of your breasts and Jake kisses at your thighs while he slowly pumps his fingers inside of you. "So fucking wet for us baby." Jake whispers, "I want to taste you." Jake adds, you bring your knees up, Josh withdraws his hand from you and instead begins to grope your breasts as Jake pulls himself closer to your core.
Josh kisses all over your tits before finally kissing over your nipples, his tongue strokes languidly at the same time Jake's tongue meets your clit and you nearly wail out in pleasure. Your hands are in each boys hair, pulling Jake closer to your core, moving him to wherever feels best, and in Josh's curls to egg him, causing him to tenderly bite at your nipples. They have you moaning uncontrollably, you feel like you were floating from the way they touched you, feeling their hands and lips and tongues all over you. Jake laps you up and you feel like you're about to break, you climax coming quickly. "You close honey girl?" Josh asks sweetly, his voice raspy in your ear sending a delightful shiver over you. You can only nod as you look at him as though you were begging him to let you cum. "She's almost there Jake, let her cum. I wanna see how pretty she looks when she cums in front of me like this." Josh says as he pets your hair, kissing your neck as Jake picks up the speed of his tongue, your hand in his hair grips tightly. "Fuck, fuck, fuck," you whine, the white hot coil inside of you snaps as Jake sucks on your clit gently, moaning against your pussy, sending you over the edge as you moan out Jake's name, "H-Holy shit, Jake, ah shit, fuck" you cry out. Josh's hands are all over you as he kisses your breasts, neck and face as you come down.
"You sound so pretty when you cum baby doll. But I want to hear you say my name." Josh says as he kisses you hard, Jake emerges from his place on the floor as Josh lays you down, "Taste yourself baby." Jake says smiling as he climbs on top of you, his shirt hanging off his shoulders, exposing his beautiful chest and torso to you. He leans his body onto you as he kisses you, his tongue lapping into your mouth. You hum against his kiss, relishing in your taste mixed with his own. Jake kisses you one last time as Josh takes his place above you now, shirtless with his erection pressing hard against his pants as he sits on his knees above your skirt covered waist. "Please Joshy, I need you, need to feel you." You whine from your place on the floor, Jake smiles at your begging as he undoes his own pants, "She sounds so pretty when she begs, doesn't she?" Jake taunts as he strips down to his underwear, the outline of his hard on giving him away. "Oh don't worry sweetheart, I'll give it to ya." Josh grins as he begins to pull down his pants and underwear, his cock bouncing up to smack against his stomach. Your jaw practically drops as he is knelt completely naked before you, his perfect body makes your wetness pool even more between your thighs. Josh leans down to you, teasing your center, you feel like your heart could burst in your chest. You whimper out as he pushes inside of you, stretching you out in a way you hadn't felt in ages, but suddenly Josh pauses, "Are you okay? I can stop-" "Fuck, no Josh, you just feel so fucking good." You smile almost drunkly as you pull him down to kiss you as he presses all the way inside, the two of you moan in unison as he is fully seated in your pussy. "Oh, Josh." you moan, he begins a perfect pace, picking up slowly until he's slamming into you, his beautiful curls bouncing off his forehead, lip tucked in between his teeth as he pounds into you. "Fuck, yes Josh, just like that." You groan as you let your head fall to the side, watching as Jake is fully naked and stroking himself, you shoot him a smirk as he meets your eyes, "Like the show, Jakey?" You call out, your breath being punched out of your lungs with the thrust of Josh's hips. Jake nods, his cheeks already flushed as his hand runs over his length, "Look so beautiful this way baby," he can hardly manage to choke out. You give him a 'come hither' wave of your finger, "Come here, Jakey." You whimper, and Josh slows his pace to a stop. "My turn to taste you." You smile at Jake as he comes down to his knees to you, "Josh, please fuck me from behind, I want to feel you both, all I want is to make you both cum." You propose, looking at the both of them nearly slack jawed with blown pupils. "Anything for the birthday girl." Josh grins, kissing you sweetly on the cheek before pulling out of you.
Maneuvering on all fours, the boys ready themselves on each end of you, Josh grips on to your ass as he slips back inside of your throbbing pussy. Jake reaches out to stroke your cheek, caressing your face as you take him in your hand, licking teasingly at the velvet like softness of his tip, making him groan at the feeling of your wet and warm tongue as you stroke him into your mouth, fitting all that you can, slowly slinking your way down as you bob your head up and down his length. Josh spanks your ass cheek with a firm hand, gripping at the muscle under his fingertips as he picks up the speed, the tip of his dick running over your sweet spot that makes you moan around Jake's cock in your mouth, making Jake move his hand to grasp at your hair, pulling at how good the pleasure of your vibrations feel against him. You couldn't believe that this was all real, all actually coming true and it feels even better than you could have ever even fantasized.
"Such a dirty girl, wanting to get fucked like this, so greedy for two dicks to fill her up." Josh teases, his voice so raspy as he starts to tow the line of his climax, his words make you moan around Jake. "You need it bad don't you baby? To be filled like this." Jake taunts, you look up at him through your lashes with the sweetest eyes he's ever seen. "Use your words, angel." Jake prods, you pull off of his cock, drool running down your chin, "I want it so bad, I want to taste you, I wanna swallow it all." You beg, Josh picks up the pace until its nearly a punishing beat against your cervix, he leans over and pulls you by your hair roughly, flushed against his front. "Such a good girl, so sweet like this." He grunts as he rocks into you, you can't stop the moans that float out into the air at this new angle, "Tell me what you want from me baby doll." You can hear the grin in his voice as he holds you tight, his dick rutting up against your g-spot, "Fuck Josh, need your fingers, wanna feel you cum inside of me, deep inside me." You cry out, he kisses your neck harshly and he releases his grip on you, allowing you to fall back to your knees and in front of Jake.
You take Jake's cock back inside of your mouth, both of his hands in your hair as Josh brings his hand to hook around you and swirls masterfully over your clit, making you moan against Jake. "So close," Jake whimpers as he watches you work your mouth over him, "She is too, I can feel it." Josh pants out as he works to keep himself from falling apart so quickly, knowing he himself was just nearly there. You let your jaw go lax as you pull your hand away from Jake's shaft, letting your mouth do all of the work and allowing Jake to fuck your face as Josh's hips push you back and forth against Jake's cock. The feeling of your own climax was beginning to take hold of you, the feeling of the two of them like this, hands on your waist, face, hair, and ass, the collective melody of their two voices moaning out your name and the feeling of Josh's fingers at work as well as the two cocks buried inside of you brought on your orgasm. You can feel tears fall down your cheeks, the feeling of your heart soaring in your chest makes you feel like you could burst into a billion stars, your knuckles turning white on your grip on the rug underneath as you feel a wave of pure pleasure rips through you as you try your best to keep yourself from breaking in half. "F-Fuck, oh holy fuck." Josh moans as he grips your waist, feeling you tighten around him pulls him over the edge as he presses himself as far as he can, spilling inside of you. Jake groans, his stomach muscles tensing as he nearly doubles over from the delicious pleasure in your mouth as he cums down your throat. You greedily swallow it all down, continuing to run your tongue over his cock until he's given all he can.
Josh pulls slowly out of you, you groan at the loss of him but also as you feel his cum dripping so perfectly down your inner thigh, your knees are wobbly and your shoulders are sore. You let yourself crumple on to the floor, surrendering to the embrace of the rug below. Jake and Josh follow suit, the three of you blissed out and staring at the ceiling as you all search for your breath. "Holy shit." You sigh, letting the momentum of this moment hit you. "Yeah." Jake says unenthusiastically and out of breath, "I can't believe we just did that." Josh says, disbelief apparent in his voice. You let out a giggle, melting the tension of the room, Jake and Josh both chuckle. "Well, happy birthday." Josh congratulates as he rolls over to give you a kiss. "Best birthday present ever." You sigh looking over at Jake, he kisses you with a sweet blushy grin. "Thank god, because I totally forgot to get you anything."
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inkskinned · 9 months
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you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.
you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.
he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.
a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.
he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.
you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.
people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.
wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.
also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.
he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."
you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.
"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."
he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.
you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.
is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?
you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.
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samstarium · 4 months
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gomens icon variety pack! all art is from hg-aneh (4/?)
transparents under the cut
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bloodsbane · 1 year
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Kitchen Nightmares, S5 E1
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temeyes · 9 days
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boyish smile
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fiendishartist2 · 8 months
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shout out to elias bouchard for fucking up a perfectly good mildly toxic workplace. you literally couldn't have done worse
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harbingersglory · 4 months
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hii could i req an soft dom arlecchino x sub/fem reader?? something w a really needy whiny reader n maybe like a mommy kink or thigh riding IDK tysm for ur time !
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{☆} characters arlecchino {☆} notes drabble, fem reader, sub reader {☆} warnings 18+ content
"Slowly, doll. We're not in a rush." Arlecchino reprimands lightly, squeezing your hips with just enough force to keep you unmoving on her thigh– she was still being gentle, but the subtle warning in her tone spoke to how easily she could push you against the desk and turn you into such a mess that you couldn't even remember your own name..just that you were hers.
But the barest hint of stimulation from her slacks pressed against your throbbing cunt had you twitching, barely able to form words. All you could think about was the scorching, twisting need building in your stomach, desperation for relief slowly climbing until you'd think she was doing this on purpose to drive you mad.
"Please– 'm a good girl, right? I've been good.." You choked out, only to be met with the rough, husky laugh echoing in your ear that made you feel dizzy with a rush of need, her nails gliding along the skin of your hips as she pressed you down even more firmly– you couldn't see her face but it was easy to imagine the crooked smile twisting her lips at the way you inhaled sharply and tried to buck against her thigh.
"Shh. I know, doll. I've got you, just relax." She murmured in that sickly sweet tone that always had your knees buckling, the raspiness of her voice sending shivers down your spine. It was almost impossible to relax with her so close, the notes of metal lingering on her skin despite how well she presents herself– but you trusted her, despite how you know you shouldn't.
"There we go. Good girl." Arlecchino's grip on your hips loosened just enough for you to move if you so wished, and oh did it take every ounce of restraint to not do just that..she hadn't said you were allowed to, and you weren't about to spoil her good mood by being a brat. Not tonight, anyway. "Do you want to cum, doll?"
The fervent nod you offer in place of words draws a laugh from her lips, one that is almost mocking, making your face flush in embarrassment– but the sudden tap against your hip makes your mind go blank to the point you forget it all together, focused only on the feeling of her thigh rubbing against your cunt as you bucked against her thigh, the fabric slick and wet against your inner thighs. You'd have half the heart to be embarrassed about that, too, if not for the sudden brush of her thumb against your aching, neglected clit. Just that small touch has you speeding up your movements, practically drooling as you whimpered like a dog in heat.
"That's more like it, doll. Such a pretty girl." Arlecchino hummed, her other hand trailing up your stomach, between the valley of your breasts and ghosting across your throat before settling on grabbing your jaw in a firm, yet almost tender touch as she tilted your head to the side just enough for her to pull you into a burning kiss. It left you lightheaded, grinding down against her thigh as she claimed your mouth as her own, her thumb still ghosting over your clit sporadically.
She'd spent so long teasing you, constantly touching you but never where you needed her, that you already felt like you were going to snap like a wire. She must've been in a really good mood, then, when she pulled away from the kiss with an almost predatory lick of her lips, yet she settled on pressing kisses to your skin rather then the usual sharp bite of her teeth as they sunk into the curve of your shoulder.
"Are you close? Go on. I want to see your face when you cum– you look the prettiest when you finally break apart, doll." Arlecchino mused idly– as if she wasn't talking to you while you continued to rub your aching cunt against her thigh, chasing your own release through shaky, strained breaths. Her thumb swiped over your lips, brushing strands of hair stuck to your skin from your face– at the same time as she swiped her thumb more firmly against your clit, creating a vicious contrast that had you both melting at the barest hint of almost softness from her and the touch of her hand between your legs, dragging you into an orgasm that leaves you trembling and, had she not shoved her fingers into your mouth, screaming, tears pooling in the corners of your eyes.
"All done, little doll. Take it easy." She murmured, voice so quiet you almost didn't hear it, thumb swiping across your cheek to wipe away the stray tear, her hands pulling away to settle on your sides. "You did well– good girl. Let me take it from here."
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weevmo · 11 months
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Oh no another outfit - this time Wally's 'correction' wear!
I'm sure if they took a moment they both could understand where the other is coming from lmao. Let's just say, before they left, Frank was one of Home's biggest troublemakers; in that he goes 'off' not very often...but when he does it's explosive.
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planetsandmagic · 1 year
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Butcher
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aellivi · 5 months
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Still figuring out how I want to draw this guy.
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miusato · 24 days
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Girl experience is when your bestie falls for either an ugly guy or a guy so sketchy he is probably a red flag sewn into a humanoid shape
Anyway meow meow Shinji undercut lol (also some thoughts lol)
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Honestly I want to draw serious Shinji with dumb neon whiskers and then it culminated into me drawing this silly little comic just to soothe my Shinjiham quota for the day hsksksksksk
Also i drew this yeah but I have this stupid crack hc where he is too emo that he has this ability where everytime anyone attempts to take a picture of him, harsh shadow came out of nowhere, the wind making appearance to fuck his hair up, the light is dramatic and suddenly his jawline is working overtime to show how menacing he is and people are baffled at how each photo of him taken manage to make him look as sketchy as possible lol
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chalkeater · 6 months
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Relatable
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candycatstuffs · 1 year
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I regret to inform you all that sonic just isnt doin it for me anymore. I have decided to instead dedicate my blog to studying pictures of random human men. Goodbye forever sonic fandom 👋
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datura-tea · 2 months
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don't worry kids, your mother can win this level just like she won the second battle of hoover dam. just watch
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foolsocracy · 11 days
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I can't help but notice you haven't posted any angst in a while and I'm suspicious
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whipped this one up just for u anon
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drippyboycunt · 9 months
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genuinely can't stress how nice it is to just enjoy yourself and do what feels good instead of being overly worried abt getting each other off
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