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melancholymetropolis · 1 month

Text

Exchange pt. III

plot: In which Gojo and Y/N wake up together and have morning sex

pairings: Clan Leader!Gojo Saturo x Lawyer!Reader

genre(s): Porn with Feelings

warnings: unedited (mostly). PORN PORN PORN!!!!!!!!!! (This is kinda stand-alone piece) safe sex. oral sex (f receiving). light choking. multiple positions. fingering. squirting. PIV SEX. pet names (sweetheart, sweetness, darling, etc.) multiple orgasms. LAUGHING DURING SEX. lowkey rom com vibes. play wrestling.

song association: Fetish by Selena Gomez

a/n: don't fight me! I come with smut (3k words worth)

w.c: 4.6k

part(s): Part I Part II

A head of unruly, white hair rested comfortably on my chest. Gentle breaths eased out of the owner's nostrils as he slept peacefully. Parted, pink lips were left slightly ajar and pushed out a deep breath every so often. A pool of drool fell from the mouth as well. It created a medium size spot on my tee shirt. His strong arms were wrapped around my midsection and one of his legs was resting between mine. Saturo held onto me like I was his lifeline. The very oxygen gracing his lungs. Even in his sleep, the man couldn't fake his affection for me.

My hand found his hair moments later. My fingertips caressed the thick, full locks tenderly. He was truly something of a fairy tale. His face was almost angelic in the low light. It kissed his pale skin like a lover and embraced him with a fondness I knew all too well. Wispy, white lashes graced his drowsy eyes. My hand lowered from his hair and to his cheek. My fingers brushed against the smooth, clear skin of the area.

“Keep touching me like that,” Saturo grunted, nuzzling my chest. “And I'll get the wrong idea.”

A soft smile fell onto my lips. “And what idea is that?”

“That you're falling in love with me.” Amusement dripped from his voice like a faucet.

I playfully swatted the top of his head. “Oh shut up!”

He lifted his head from my chest in one swift motion. His blue eyes sparkled in the low light and that sleepy smile stabbed me in the heart.

Holy fuck is he gorgeous, I found myself thinking.

“Admit it, sweetheart,” he teased. “You’re falling in love with me. I mean why else would you invite me to your bed.”

“Maybe because it was 3 AM when we finished eating?” I suggested, a smile falling to my lips. “And you shouldn’t be driving while exhausted?”

He paused, pretended to think for a minute, before shooting me the cockiest fucking look I had ever seen in my life. “It could be that,” he started. “Or, you were just so worried about your husband’s well being that you wanted him to sleep safely in your arms for the night.”

“Boy, bye!” I chuckled, pushing against his shoulders. “Now you’re dragging it.”

Saturo lifts his body from mine and I instantly felt a cooling sensation dance between the space.

“Come on, wifey,” he grinned. “You don’t have to hide feelings from your husband.”

I shoved at his shoulders again. “Keep talking like that and I’m gonna kick you off the bed.”

“Oh, I’d like to see you try,” he provoked.

A knowing smirk fell on my lips. “Challenge accepted.”

Before Saturo could throw a snide comment my way, both of my legs hooked around his waist. At the same time, my arms latched underneath his pits. I swung our bodies to the left, effectively switching our positions. I straddled his waist, allowing my lower half to pin his legs to the bed. I placed both hands on his T-shirt covered chest and pinned his upper half down as well. His blue eyes widened with utter astonishment, fear and a little something else I couldn’t exactly catch.

“Fuck, you’re stronger than I thought,” he gasped, eyes trailing over my body. His chest was rising and falling at a rapid pace. “I was not expecting that. Like at all…. Shit. I think you took my breath away. Literally.”

Laughter erupted from my chest and poured from my lips. “Well, there's a first time for everything.”

His hands rested on my thighs, a look of amazement still on his face. “Seriously, sweetheart, is there something you're not telling me.”

“Like what?” I giggled.

“I don't know. . . Like maybe you have a secret second life that requires you to be as strong a fucking body builder.”

“Seriously, ‘Toru, you're being ridiculous.”

“I'm not being— wait. What did you just say?”

I raised an eyebrow. “That you're being ridiculous?”

“Before that,” a smile slowly formed on his face.

“Seriously?”

“After that.”

“I didn't say anything—”

“Don't deny it, sweetness,” the smile was so wide that it practically covered half of his face. “You called me by my first name.”

“I did no such thing!” I crossed my arms over my chest and playfully avoided his gaze.

“Not only that,” he replied, lifting his back from the bed. “You gave me a nickname.”

“No I did not—ah!”

Saturo flipped our bodies back to their original position, with him on top. His massive hand took hold of both of my wrists and pinned them above my head. His knees rested on either side of my thighs, caging my body underneath his. Saturo used his other hand to cradle my face and direct my gaze directly into his eyes. They were electric blue, once again. They shined brightly before me in a way I had only seen twice before. Once at the wedding and the other last night in the restaurant. They searched my face for something I couldn't necessarily pick up. Some truth hidden beneath the surface that I was too scared to reveal. The longer he stared, the deeper the ringing in my ear sounded.

“Say it again,” his voice dropped to a whisper.

“Say what?” I smirked, pulling at my wrists.

“Playing coy is gonna get you in trouble, sweetheart,” he replied, returning my smirk. “I'd watch it if I were you.”

“And what exactly are you gonna do, Ole husband of mine?” I replied, a lustful glint in my eye. “Spank me?”

His jaw clenched and the grip on my wrists tightened. “Please don't threaten me with a good time, sweetness.” He shivered, visibly. “I'll have you on my lap before that cute little nickname leaves your lips a second time.”

“Is that a promise?” I said, allowing my eyes to drop half lidded.

Saturo sucked in a breath and he clenched his jaw. “I am trying my best to behave. To be the gentleman you deserve. But all I can think about is burying myself in that sweet pussy and fucking you until the next sun rise. So, please, darling, don't tease me. My meager heart cannot take it.”

The desire burned in his eyes like sunshine through a magnifying glass. Point it at just the right angle and the object underneath would catch fire. The object or, more specifically, the person underneath said magnifying glass happened to be me. His gaze was beginning to set my body ablaze. Flashes of our last entanglement flickered through my mind like an old film. The heaviness of his body against mine as he pumped into me like a piston. The feeling of his tongue on my skin and how he groaned my name. I remember the way my nails scraped against the wooden headboard behind us. Remembering the rhythmic banging had sent me shivers down my spine. The look on his face made my womanhood tingle. He was remembering that night too. The evening my shins shook violently on his shoulders and he came so hard his entire body convulsed.

It was also the last night we spent together before the wedding.

The same night I left him.

A subtle pain started to throb in my chest from the memory. The guilt slowly threatened to consume me. I reassured myself that I knew better, currently. I knew that the white haired above me was more than just a vacation fling. More than just a cheap thrill to distract me from the tipsy bride-to-be and the plastered bridesmaids. He was a good guy, underneath that silly demeanor. He was thorough. Saturo weighed every option presented to him before coming to a conclusion. He was consistent. When he finally chose said option, he would try his hardest to see it through. He was passionate. There wasn’t a challenge he couldn’t overcome. A person he couldn’t charm. Myself included.

“Left nightstand,” I found myself saying, a subtle smile on my lips. “Top drawer.”

“What’s in there?” A confused look colored his face.

“Condoms.”

The confused look morphed into three different expressions as the realization of what I said hit him. The first being shock. His eyebrows rose and his grip on my wrists loosened. The words rising over in his brain several more times before it morphed into a look of adoration. Saturo’s eyes eased halfway closed and a small smile formed on his lips. His shoulders relaxed and the grip he had on my wrists was forgotten. A gentle hand cupped my cheek before the final expression took over his face: unadulterated joy. He leaned his body down and pressed his forehead to mine. I could practically hear his heart pounding in his chest. Singing a song I was quickly learning the lyrics to. His hot breath fanned my face and his eyes looked deeply into mine; as if he could see my soul. See how it was opening up for him and how it searched for him after all this time.

“Can I kiss you?” The question was breathless on his lips. Almost like the moment we were having wasn’t real. Almost as if I weren’t real.

“Please.”

The softness of his lips melted the ice covering my defenses. My arms wrapped around his neck and I started to pull Saturo closer. The weight of his body broke down the walls I eradicated to keep him out of my heart. His touch pulled away the feelings of confusion and uncertainty. He moaned against my lips; his arms so tightly around my body I could barely breathe. I could barely form a thought, other than the one that we seemed to share.

I want you.

When the need of oxygen became prevalent for the both of us, I pulled away. My eyes were blurry with lust and I could hear myself panting like horny teenager after such an embrace. Saturo’s hot mouth continued to lay kisses along my neck and shoulder. His hips dropped from the levitating position and situated themselves between my open legs. Saturo arched his back, almost like a feline, and started to grind his pelvic area against mine. The clothes and blanket between us did nothing to hide the intensity of his erection. The teasing thrusts of his hips were sending shivers down my spine, the anticipation of what was to come driving me up the wall.

A warm hand wiggled between our two bodies and slid underneath my shirt. The wide palm pressed against the soft tissue of my left breasts before giving it a squeeze. At the same time, the bastard ran a hot tongue against the side of my neck. I moaned as a result. His fingers found the nipple instantly. Saturo ruled the bud between his fingers, while leaving little nips at my shoulder.

“Care to help me out, sweetness?” He asked softly.

His voice was deep with sleep, but had been coated with lust.

Saturo’s half opened blue eyes looked down at me as if I were hiding something.

The ghost of a smile on his perfect pink lips had me melting in the middle.

“Yes. . . ?” Was all I could mutter after staring at him for a noticeable amount of time.

“Take your shirt off for me, baby,” he replied, the humorous look on his face growing into a full-blown grin.

As I lifted the shirt over my head, a thought appeared in my mind. Saturo was not the kind of person to pressure me into doing things I didn't want to do. Sure, in the beginning, he was a little shit about hanging out and getting to know me— though he never forced me to do it. Nor did he guilt trip into going out with him. Saturo gave me an option. He made it known that it was always my choice to have whatever relationship I wanted with him.

My hands gripped the bottom of the T-shirt and pulled the garment from my body. The cool air in the bedroom caused me to shiver slightly. The man above me froze the moment he caught sight of my bare breasts. His eyes rolled over them like water on a leaf as his tongue ran against his bottom lip. Saturo brought his face to my chest while panting. His mouth was already ready ajar while he gripped the first mound and brought the dark brown bud to his lips. We both moaned at the action. His eyes fluttered closed as he suckled the needy nipple. After a few moments, he released it with a pop and started to swirl his tongue against it. I squirmed beneath him. I wanted nothing more.

His warm hand slid down my bare belly as he switched to the other nipple. The slender fingers shimmied under the waistband and found my sticky womanhood. Two digits ran along my slit before dipping into the folds and circling my bud. A pleasurable sigh left my body from the sensation. My hips rolled against his hand. The friction was utterly delicious on the neglected area. I felt my body vibrate beneath his; the desire to be consumed by him becoming too great to ignore.

A little while later, Saturo lifted his head from my breast and started to kiss down my navel. His eyes flickering up to meet mine every so often. I nervously nipped my bottom lip as I watched his face grow closer to my cunt. His hands pulled at the legs of the sleep shorts; I raised my hips to assist in the action. The cool air on my warm cunt made me shiver. An unholy groan left Saturo’s lips as his eyes stared at the curly mound.

“No panties, huh?” His eyes snapping back to mine.

“I hardly ever sleep with them on,” I admitted with a shrug.

“Noted,” he said with a smirk.

Saturo, then, spread my legs nice and wide to get a better view. I saw his breath hitch at the sight. His thumb ran against the slick slit and I moaned from the feather-like strokes. He pushed my hips apart further and brought my body closer to the edge of the bed. With knees planted on the floor and both hands planted on the backs of my thighs, Saturo dove right in.

Long, slow licks graced my neglected folds and I shuddered beneath him. The tip of his plush tongue ran from my drenched center to the throbbing pearl. He circled said pearl with agonizingly slow movements that made me squirm.

“Stop teasing,” I purred, gently combing through his messy hair. “I thought you wanted to bury yourself in my sweet pussy, or whatever you said earlier.”

A low chuckle rumbled through him and Sauro’s eyes caught mine. “Aren’t we impatient, sweetness?” He nipped at the side of my thigh, earning a smile from me.

“Well, it has been a while since you performed your husbandly duties. . .” I trailed off with a knowing smile.

“Oh?” Saturo raised an eyebrow. “So I am your husband now?”

“I mean, you could go back to being my cheap whore,” I teased, propping myself up on my elbows. “I’ll give you a few bills before I send you away.”

“I knew you did that shit on purpose!” Saturo barked with laughter.

“It wasn’t my intention, but I am not denying the allegation.”

Saturo swatted my leg playfully before throwing me a stern look. “Just for that, I should leave you like this. Hot and bothered.”

“You could,” I nodded. “But, you won’t.”

Saturo narrowed his eyes. “. . . I won’t.”

“Good boy.”

His mouth was on my heat once more, sucking the throbbing pearl into his scorching mouth. The teasing was over and the real game began. As Saturo sucked, the tip of his tongue brushed against the underside of my clit every so often. I squirmed beneath him as the pleasure rose in my belly. He must’ve remembered our last time together. The way I creamed all over his face when did that exact movement with his tongue on my womanhood. A flash of something familiar crossed his eyes and watched an arm wrap around my right thigh, as two fingers brushed my entrance. As if to ask for permission.

“If you add those digits, darling, I’m gonna make a mess of that pretty face.” I sighed, attempting to sound unenthusiastic about the action. “I hope you’re prepared for that.”

The taller gentleman groaned against my cunt, but never removed his mouth from it. He pushed both fingers into my awaiting hole and I sucked in a breath. The digits curled in my sex and found the familiar spongy center at the roof of it. My thighs shook in his arms. Saturo massaged the area with a firm hand. He kneaded my g-spot into submission and I felt body start to vibrate underneath him.

“Oooh. . .” I cooed, brushing his hair from his eyes. “Just like that. . . Don’t stop. . .”

Saturo groaned again, his eyes half-closed as he looked up at me.

He was truly enjoying himself, more than he assumed possible.

His desire, like mine, tainted the air with its sweet music. I could hear them clearly, despite the amulet hanging from my neck. The energy he oozed was far more powerful than anything I had previously encountered. It bellowed out to me in such a way that it was hard to ignore it. The ringing in my ear was subtle, almost like a whisper from a lover. A warm pool in my stomach started to grow. One by one, my limbs grew unfeeling. I could feel absolutely nothing by Saturo’s mouth on my pussy. My eyes started to roll back as my back arched from the bed. My nails dug into the bed sheets as my mouth hung open. The climax was deep and guttural. It pulled a sound from my being that I did not recognize. I hadn’t realized I was holding my breath until the pressure in my chest grew too great. I had to force a giant wave of cool air to flood my lungs as I cried out Saturo’s name. I felt my legs shake against his face, as he continued to suck my clit.

“Too much!” I gasped, nudging his head away from my sensitive womanhood. “Stop! Please. . .”

Saturo removed his lips from the aching bud and pressed wet kisses on my soft stomach. He crawled up my body and took me in his arms. He held me tightly as the aftershocks of the orgasm started to wear off. With my back pressed against his chest, I felt myself relax almost instantly. His presence was certain as the sunrise and it warmed me immensely. We laid in silence for several moments, but it wasn’t awkward. It was peaceful. I could’ve stayed like that forever.

The taller gentleman pulled away for a breath moment. Moments later, I heard the familiar slide of the nightstand’s drawer open. Followed by that was a gentle crinkle of plastic and then a soft hiss fell from his lips. Saturo’s arms were around me before my body grew cold. He pressed hot kisses on my naked shoulder, before pressing his hard length on my bare ass.

“Are you still up for this, sweetness?”

“Yes,” I replied, breathless.

The throbbing member sank into my center from behind and I swore I saw stars. His strong arm hooked across my middle to steady himself. His hips rolled against my plush rear and soft moans spilled from his lips afterward. The weight of his body on mine and the feeling of his breath against my ear was indescribable. The thoughts spinning in mind were in one category: adoration. Maybe it was the dopamine and adrenaline creating a toxic cocktail on my emotions, but all I could think about was my future with Saturo. The way our mornings could be just like this one. Filled with sensual love-making and intimacy that made my head spin. The way he cradled by body as he thrusted into me was exhilarating. He held me like I was going to disappear at any moment.

After a short while, he hiked my left leg into the arm and hooked his arm around my thigh. Saturo tilted his hips backward and started to thrust into me a little bit harder. My shoulders fell into the crook of his arm as my back pressed against the soft mattress. His cock moved deeper into my cunt and pressed a pleasure point I had forgotten I had. My eyes rolled back and the air in my throat grew thick. My nails dug into his forearms as I felt my toes curl.

“There it is,” Saturo snickered. “That’s the face I am looking for.”

“ ‘Turo. . .” I moaned, my head falling back onto his shoulder.

He shuddered from the sound of the nickname and moved his hips faster against my ass.

My eyes rolled back as I felt the pressure in my belly grow once more. My nerves were buzzing and started to feel my body begin to heat all over. The sensations coursing through me were simply incredible and I didn’t want them to end. I never wanted to be separated from the feeling Saturo, my husband, was giving me.

Gradually, the thought of being married to him did not repulse me. It ignited a sort of excitement within me that I kept hidden from the public eye. To have such a biblically beautiful man on one’s as we simply lived life would greatly boost anyone’s ego. For that same man to be downright obsessed with everything about me was something entirely different. The passion he had for me was simply extraordinary. The sweet words that fell from his lips as he fucked me tenderly had made my heart sing. The heat from his body and the power that surrounded him was simply ethereal. All reasonable doubt slipped from my mind the longer the thrusted into me. All I could think about was Gojo Saturo and coming home to his girthy cock every night.

One by one, I felt my limbs go numb and my body stiffen. Keep, harsh breaths poured from my lips as my eyes squeezed shut. The feeling of his cock slipping against my walls had broken through the numbness. I could feel said walls begin to contract, squeezing his member tightly as I climaxed. A gush of cool air filled my lungs as my body melted into his.

“Don’t stop!” I screamed, gripping his arm tightly. “Please don’t stop. . . oh God. . .”

The second wave of the orgasm made my entire body shake against his. My hips bucked against his thick member and my thigh shook in grasp. The older gentleman tried everything to keep the slippery limb from his grasp, but to no avail.

Frustrated, Saturo rolled my stomach and wrapped a hand across my chest. He pressed his entire body against my back, before putting a hand on my throat. Upon pressing his hips against my ass, I realized that his cock was even deeper than it was before. Saturo started to rock his hips against my soft ass and I had never felt something so marvelous in my entire life. The pressure in which he used to fuck me was unholy. The head of his brilliant cock was hitting a pleasure point so deep in my pussy that I was sure that the other lover knew it existed. The weight of his body pushed my pelvis nearly flat against the mattress and added pressure to my stomach. Just between my thighs I felt something rather fluffy nestled right against my apex. The cushioned item slid against my throbbing clit with each thrust and I felt my entire body shiver.

I had no idea when Saturo shoved a pillow between my thighs, but I knew the move was far from a mistake.

“You are so… fucking… perfect,” He stammered, pounding into slick pussy like his life depended on it. “The best. . . person. . . for me.”

Saturo’s grip on the bedsheets tightened and I felt his hips begin to twitch against mine.

He was getting close.

“Tell me,” I said, breathless. “Tell me that you're mine.”

Soft curses fell from his lips as the fingers on my neck tightened. Jagged breaths fell from his lips as his hips moved faster against my lower half. The heaviness of the member pushed against the roof of cunt. Added with the weight of his body against mine meant that Saturo was annihilating two of my pleasure points at once. The addition of the pillow meant that he was three. I couldn’t even feel the last orgasm building as I felt with the prior two. The lovely man was simply taking me onto an ongoing wave of pleasure, equipped with peaks and valleys.

The grinding of his body against mine was mind-numbing. I could feel little dribbles of drool spill from the side of my mouth as he fucked me. Incoherent words spilled from my lips like a drunk prayer, along with a few slurred sprinkles of his name. I never wanted that moment to end, I never wanted him to stop pounding me into the mattress as the late morning sun illuminated our sweat soaked bodies. I wanted the moment to last forever. I wanted to stay with him forever; for in that moment he was truly mine.

My friend.

My lover.

My. . . husband.

The orgasm poured over me like a soothing wave. It was just as deep as the other two, but didn’t have such violent muscle tension. My eyes squeezed shut as I rode on the high. It made my entire body warm and my heart tingle. It made me thankful for the impulsive decision to invite him into my apartment and into my bed. I almost scolded myself for not doing it sooner. The heavy member still pressed against the inflated, spongy area in my cunt. Every thrust had sent electricity throughout my body. The little control that Saturo was holding onto slipped through his fingers. The power behind his thrusts grew elevated and resulted in him practically dropping his cock in my awaiting hole. The movement further stimulated my sensitive clit, since his heaviness caused my womanhood to have even more contact with the pillow. My pearl ground against the plush surface hard as Saturo fucked me deeper than before.

“I’m gonna cum again!” I screamed, pulling at the sheets. “I’m gonna cum again!”

“That’s it, baby,” Saturo grunted. “Scream for your husband.”

His fingers pressed deeper into the sides of my neck as my eyes rolled back for the millionth time. The word ‘yes’ spilled from my lips as if it were the only word in the dictionary. I could feel my legs shake violently beneath him and my mouth open wider than it ever had. A warm pool of liquid started to spill from my sticky cunt shortly after, resulting in a small puddle forming between my thighs. The scream that left my throat was so intense that it was silent. I could feel the massive man above me begin to shudder uncontrollably as his heavy member twitched within my snatch. His body fell onto mine in a sweaty heap and Saturo took a moment to catch his breath.

His hand slipped from my throat and he laced the digits with my shaky one. He pressed soft kisses onto my shoulders as I caught my breath.

“I am yours,” he replied, finally acknowledging my request. The one I nearly forgot. “As you are mine. Forever”.

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a/n: before you come for me (pun intended), just know that the next installment may not be the happiest.

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TAGLIST

@amajikisupremacy @sweetdreams-inumimi @reagan707 @wannabeotaku @hazzelle-kento @rav3nmuse @maliamaiden @@satoruontopofme

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cxptain-capsicle · 2 months

Text

Beyond the Sea | Luke Castellan | III

Pairing: Luke Castellan x Unclaimed Poseidon Daughter!Reader

Warnings: angst, fluff, slow burn flashbacks, established relationship present day, Gods being terrible parents

Series Masterlist Taglist

“Luke.” You whispered, trying not to wake any of the other campers. “You awake?”

“Yeah,” He whispered back. “You okay?”

You had been at Camp for a few months now and Luke was already accustomed to being woken up from you jolting out of bed after a nightmare. He joked that some mornings he would nearly be thrown out of the top bunk.

“I didn;t have a nightmare, I just can’t sleep.” Your voice trailed off at the end. Within a second Luke was out of the top bunk, his feet hitting the hard wood made a loud sound that made you jump.

“What’s wrong?” He asked. You sat up in the bed and he came to sit next to you.

“I just-” You started but struggled to find the words. “I don’t think I’ll be claimed.” After your few weeks at camp the topic of being claimed felt taboo, like everyone was thinking the same thing and nobody wanted to say it.

“You don’t know that.” He shook his head. “I knew a girl who got claimed after being here for almost a year. It can take time.”

“I’m tired of waiting.” You were too afraid to say anything negative about the gods while in one of their cabins. Especially the messenger god. “I just feel really alone.”

Luke didn’t say anything, he wrapped one arm around your shoulders and the other at the side of your head and pulled you into a hug.

When you woke up Percy was still asleep, you normally didn’t take too much to the new kids but you liked this one. You would be the first one to admit that you were jealous of the new arrivals seeing as most of them would be claimed within weeks. There was no point in becoming buddy-buddy with someone who would go off and get so wrapped up in their new siblings and godly parent that they forget all about you. Three years of radio silence from the gods had made you a little bitter. Luke would argue that maybe it was more than a little.

“I’m gonna take Percy around camp today,” Luke was slouched against the pillow in your bed. He grabbed one of his shoes and forcefully put it on. “Wanna come?”

“Get your shoes off of my bed.” You shoved his leg off the side of the bed, forcing him to sit up next to you. “And I’ll pass, Annabeth and I are gonna talk capture the flag.”

“Oh come on I thought you liked him?” Luke always tried to get you to join him but talking about nothing but getting claimed for 3 hours wasn’t your idea of fun.

“Not that much.” Before Luke could respond Percy sat up from his spot on the floor with a jolt. You had been asking Charlie Beckendorf, a Hephaestus camper, to make more bed frames for the cabin for months but it kept falling to the bottom of his priority list. Over the past few years the amount of kids in the Hermes cabin has grown faster than you could accommodate.

“You okay?” Luke asked as he rose to his feet.

“Super.” Percy groaned as he pulled himself off of the ground.

“We all have them, you know.” Luke was always the first to comfort new campers. “Intense, recurring nightmares. That's normal here. And the daydreams, and the ADHD, and dyslexia. Demigods just process reality differently than humans do. For the first time in your life, you're just like everyone else.”

“So are you also…” Percy said slowly. “Do you not know who your-”

“Am I unclaimed?” Luke finished for him. He glanced over at you instinctually. “No, Hermes is my father.” Like always mentioning Hermes made Luke stand up straighter. “That doesn't matter, we're all on the same team here.”

“I’m unclaimed.” You told Percy. “I’ve been here for 3 years.”

“Why is that okay?” He was talking directly to you now. “Why do they get to bring us here to just ignore some of us?”

“I’ve been asking myself that since the day I got here.” You couldn’t help but chuckle, he sounded exactly like you. “I get how you’re feeling but no matter what happens you’re gonna be fine.”

“Spend too much time trying to figure out why the gods do whatever it is they do, you'll drive yourself crazy.” Luke warned. “Sooner you stop worrying about that, the sooner you can enjoy what this place actually does offer.”

“And what's that?” Percy asked.

“Glory.” Luke smirked. “Demigods have always fought for glory. They used to call it kleos. It's like this stuff that attaches itself to your name. Makes it bigger, scarier, more important. People listen closer when you talk, they work harder to be your friend and they think twice about messing with you.” Before Luke could finish Clarisse passed by bumping Percy in the shoulder.

“Hey!” Percy exclaimed, causing Clarisse to quickly turn around and push him down to the ground.

“Woah!” Luke stepped up to Clarisse. “Hey. Knock it off, Clarisse. It's like his first day, come on.” You grabbed Percy’s arm and helped him up off the ground.

“Wait, so this is the kid who killed the Minotaur.” She had a devilish smile on her face. “Is that right?”

“Yeah?” Percy said cautiously.

“I'll bet. Look, you want attention around here, dummy? You better be ready for it when it comes.” Clarisse made a fake lunge for him, causing Percy to jump.

“Clarisse, let it go.” You chimed in. She glanced at you for a moment before turning away with her friends. You and Clarisse weren’t friends exactly, she wasn’t friends with anyone outside of her cabin, especially not an unclaimed kid, but you weren’t enemies. You got along well enough, you would spar together, you mutually respected each other. Every once in a while you might even have a few laughs at the campfire.

“Well, she seems nice.” Percy said flatly.

“Ares kids.” Luke sighed. “They come by it honestly.”

“Maybe she’ll grow on you.” You shrugged. “I kinda like her, then again she doesn’t bother me.”

“Why don't they mess with you?” Percy asked Luke.

“They know better.” Luke said proudly.

“Luke's the strongest swordsman at camp.” Chris explained.

“I’m second.” You chimed in. “For the record.”

“So, they leave you alone because ‘glory’?” Percy asked and Luke nodded. “So if I get glory, Clarisse wouldn't mess with me either?”

“Exactly.”

“And people think I'm a big deal?”

“Well, sorta, but-” Luke started.

“I don’t know about all that.” You said

“And my dad's got no choice but to claim me.” Percy finished. You and Luke sighed and looked at eachother. You understood his eagerness to be seen.

“You can't force the gods to do anything.” Luke told Percy gently.

“Believe me, I’d know. I tried.” You added.

“Well, yeah, but... it would make it harder for him to pretend I don't exist, right?”

“It’s worth a shot.” You shrugged.

“It is?” Luke swiveled to look at you.

“I mean it couldn’t hurt.” You just wanted to give the poor kid some hope.

“Great.” Percy perked up. “Where do we start?”

When you had nightmares you knew you were in a dream but that didn’t make it any less scary. You were on a beach, it was dark, the sky shades of purple and blue. There were storms; the waves were five times higher than your head. You were alone, the beach extended as far as your eyes could see. With nothing else to do you began walking down the beach. With every step your feet became heavier- wait, no- you were sinking. The sand was vibrating causing you to sink further and further into it. You were struggling to try to pull your feet out of the sand until you heard voices that made you freeze. Luke. Then Annabeth. Grover. Clarisse. And a young boy's voice that you didn’t recognize. You could make out each of their voices but not what they were saying. Their voices were frantic, they were calling for help, they were in danger. You fought harder but it only made you sink faster.

“Luke!” You screamed out just as your head went beneath the sand.

You woke up with a jolt gasping for air, panting, and drenched in sweat. You peered to the bunk above you to see if you had woken Luke but there was no movement. You pulled yourself out of bed as quietly as possible to not wake anyone. You debated waking Luke but decided against it. You slipped your shoes on and grabbed a jacket that you kept by your bed. As quietly as you could you tiptoed across the cabin and out the front door. You went out the door past the Hephaestus cabin, then Apollo, Ares, then Poseidon. Just as you were about to pass the mess hall a voice erupted from the silence of the night.

“Where do you think you’re going?” It was Luke.

“Oh my gods, Luke.” You nearly doubled over with shock. “You didn’t have to sneak up on me.”

“Why are you out here?” He came close to you, placing his hands on the sides of your arms. “It’s the middle of the night. It’s freezing.”

“I- I had another nightmare.”

“The same one?” He asked and you nodded. You had been at camp for almost a year now and had been having the same dream for almost six months. “Why are you out here?”

“I just needed fresh air, I guess.” You crossed your arms over your chest, honestly you didn’t know why you were out here.

Luke gave you a sympathetic smile.

“Okay let’s walk then.”

You and Luke walked together quietly for a while. You walked through the woods until you reached the Long Island sound. It was the same beach as the one in your dream but even in the dead of night it wasn’t as cold, as scary as it was in your dreams. Sometimes after a particularly bad night you would come here to remind yourself that it was just a dream. This was the first time Luke had come with you to the beach and it gave you much more comfort.

“This isn’t your first time out here is it?” Luke glanced at you with a smile, he knew the answer.

“No,” You chuckled. “I guess I find it relaxing.”

The two of you found a place to sit on the sand just above the tide. Luke sat to your left, your shoulders touching trying to conserve the little warmth between you. There was a silence between you that felt safe and comfortable. You rested your head on Luke’s shoulder and he rested his head against yours. You felt something cold touch the side of your hand and looked down to see Luke's hand inching closer to yours. It felt like you were moving in slow motion but eventually Luke had your hand clasped in his. You and Luke had always had a special relationship. From the second he found you in the cave and pulled you into his lap you were bonded. He gave you his bunk when you came to camp. Showed you around and always stayed at your side. Listened to you grovel about not being claimed day in and day out. You had hugged before but never held hands and it never felt like this before.

“You’re not alone.” Luke whispered to you. The sound of the waves and Luke’s voice were music to your ears. You were entranced, Luke was so close you could feel his breath on your cheek. The sun was just starting to peak over the horizon providing just enough light to bounce off of the water and reflect onto Lukes face. The light made his brown eyes glitter. You had never looked at Luke this way before. You were so close and millimeter by millimeter you were getting closer and closer-

“Oh!” You both exclaimed as the freezing cold water of the tide splashed up on you both, soaking you in sea water. Each of you rose to your feet eagerly running from the water before doubling over in laughter.

“Oh, that’s freezing!” You cried out through your laughs. When you finally caught your breath Luke was in front of you staring down at you seriously. “What is it?”

“I mean it,” He was breathing heavily. “You’re not alone here.”

“I know Luke,” You nodded. “But-,” Luke cocked his head, unsure of what else you had to say.

“I’ve been alone my whole life Luke. No parents, no family. Camp was where I was supposed to find that. But my parent couldn’t care less that I even exist.” You rambled.

“I know that you’re upset-” Luke tried but you cut him off.

“I’m not upset Luke. I’m angry!” You shouted. You felt your face turn hot with anger, your heart beat fast. “I’m furious that they would abandon me-”

“Y/n-” Luke tried but you kept going.”

“They would humiliate me, over and over. My entire life!” You were fuming, your blood boiling.

“Y/n!” He shouted.

“What!” You yelled back. Just now you realized that Luke wasn’t looking at you. He was looking behind you. You turned around to see a massive wave, 30 feet high, suspended behind you. Your anger turned to confusion and just as it did the wave came crashing down at your feet, returning to the sea like it was never there.

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@fudosl @lenasvoid @light-23 @petrichorvzlia-blog @heartzflwers @vampsaddicted @bbgkaykay @shiara04 @teigo-the-explorer @number-onekidqueen

#luke castellan #luke castellan x reader #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson #pjo fandom #pjo series #luke x reader #percy jackson show #percy jackson x reader #luke pjo #pjo x reader #pjo x you #pjo

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the-travelling-witch · 8 months

Note

I’m gonna kiss Scaras neck tattoo <3

The whirring of the coffee machine rang through the tranquil morning air, filling your kitchen with the rich scent of ground coffee. Scara was leaning against the counter as he waited for the machine to finish its job, groaning as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

You approached him slowly, feet shuffling over the floor in a sleepy daze before you came to a halt behind your boyfriend. Without giving it much thought, you wrapped your arms around his waist, snuggling into his back as you draped your weight onto him.

“You’re heavy you know,” the man in front of you grumbled without actually meaning it. In return, you pinched the skin of his waist, making him flinch slightly. “Good morning to you too, you brat.”

Mumbling something akin to a ‘Morning’, you sighed as you inhaled the scent of his body wash before your eyes flicked up to see the collar of his sleep shirt had been pulled down in the back, revealing his inked up neck.

With an opportunity like this presenting itself on a silver platter, you needn’t think twice about brushing your lips over the mark, letting them linger there far longer than necessary. You trailed more kisses around it, following the flow of the ink before planting another one right in the centre.

Scara, who had just taken the first sip of coffee, almost dropped his mug when he felt the warmth of your lips against his skin. It was an area he normally kept well-hidden, the only people he let near there being you and Venti. The morning wasn’t chilly, yet he couldn’t help but shiver at your show of affection, the sensation racing down his spine and leaving goosebumps in its wake.

“What are you doing?” His voice was breathless and still a little hoarse from the night. Few people ever treated him so gently, as if he was a doll that would break at the faintest pressure and normally he’d resent the notion of weakness. When you did it, however, he found he didn’t mind at all. Damn it, it was too early for him to be so affected by you, yet here he was, almost white-knuckling the countertop to keep his composure.

“Giving my boyfriend the affection he deserves,” you mused, a lot more awake by now, your voice vibrating against the sensitive hairs raising under your attention. “I’m still allowed to do that, am I not?”

“You’re such a pain sometimes,” he gritted out, keenly aware of his heart jumping against his chest. The coffee sat forgotten on the counter as he dropped his head forward, his midnight- blue hair parting to reveal even more of his nape.

You rolled your eyes in amusement at his antics. Leave it to your stubborn boyfriend to deny himself something he enjoyed. Good thing you knew him well enough to know which buttons to push to get the truth out of him.

“Well, if you hate it that much-“ Hardly a second passed between you peeling yourself away from him and his hand shooting out to wrap around your wrist and keep you in place.

“Who said you could stop? If you start something, make sure you finish it too.” Seriously, he was too cute like this.

[modern au series] || or click the tag ┊holly’s modern au ✩彡 to see all works and rambles!!

#┊✩彡 divine correspondence ♡#┊✩彡 unsigned letter ♡#┊holly’s modern au ✩彡 #genshin impact #x reader #genshin impact fluff #genshin fluff #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin modern au #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche fluff #scara x reader #scara fluff #wanderer x reader #wanderer fluff #genshin impact scaramouche

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carmyboobear · 2 months

Text

ALEXITHYMIA CH 4: piccata, bills, and ghosts

Roommate AU: Carmy Berzatto x Reader (R18)

ao3 link ch 1 ch 2 ch 3

Chapter Rating: T (9.1k)

Chapter Summary: Carmy realizes that this is what joy looks like, and when he looks that truth in the eyes, he finds himself blissfully unafraid. Their company is an indulgence he's finally allowing himself to have in its entirety, and it's beautiful. The world is both unfolding and combining, all for him, all because of them.

Tags: carmy being mentally ill, panic attacks, happy carmy, silly carmy, physical touch

A/N: Here's our fluffiest (and longest) chapter yet! But the hurt/comfort is also on full blast this chapter…This one really has it all. You'll see what I mean. Here's the also start of Act 2, in which Carmy is gonna be realizing…and he won't stop realizing…until he realizes it all. Also I am taking creative liberties with how family actually works. Enjoy!

It doesn’t always stay the same.

When Carmy looks in the bathroom mirror this morning, he feels as tired as he looks. Exhaustion resides in his dark eyebags and temperamental curly flyways. The fire from last night had interrupted the little sleep he was able to snag. Despite all the weariness, though, there’s something different about today.

He’s used to a blazing fire in his brain, constant in its sweltering heat and pain, but today, the fire lays low. There’s actually room in his head for quiet, for silence to exist. It’s not the dissociative emptiness he’s used to. He thinks he can only describe it as peace.

The thought almost makes him laugh with how ludicrous it is. Peace and him don’t typically mesh.

He remembers the fire last night, crackling in the containers of pots and pans before billowing upwards. He imagines a different outcome, instead pondering a future where his apartment burned down. Where their apartment burned down, and in this alternate reality, he stands in the ashes, unsurprised that he’s destroyed yet another good thing in his life. Then the grief of him realizing that it was the only good thing left in his life destroys him.

But when he looks at their toothbrush next to his, their shared crinkled tube of toothpaste, he comes back down.

He doesn’t know how he managed to keep them. Somehow, they’re here to stay, and they’re going to be at The Beef for family in half an hour.

“Corner,” he shouts, breezing through the kitchen with a container and shallots and garlic. He still needs to finish mincing them for family this afternoon—lemon chicken piccata. At least he’s prepped the rest of the ingredients already, along with the plates and utensils.

The peace in the morning was momentary, because of course it was. There’s a tangled yarn ball of anxiety knotting itself over and over inside him at the thought of them having family with him and everyone else. He pondered on his commute this morning if inviting them was the right thing. If it was an overstep, either with them or at The Beef, but then he remembers the way their face lit up when he asked, and the anxiety grows quiet. Well, quieter.

And as it grows quiet, it opens up the space for his excitement to be the loudest voice in his head.

“Lemon chicken piccata?” Sydney observes the prepped chicken, lemons, capers. As she looks, her fingers fiddle with the small golden hoops in her ear.

“Yeah. Thought this’d be a good way to have everyone try it again, get a better feel for it.” He cuts the shallot into thin slices before cutting into them again, mincing it into tiny pieces. He notes a distinctly ugly slice of shallot and tosses it. This dish needs to be perfect.

“Heard.” Sydney traces a finger over the edges of the stacked plates before stopping. “Uh, chef, I think you got an extra plate here.”

Carmy stops, looks up from the cutting board. Quickly counts the plates again. Looks back down.

“No, I got it,” he reassures her. When she raises an eyebrow at him, he adds, “I, uh, invited someone. My…roommate.”

“Oh.” Sydney doesn’t even try to hide the surprise on her face, or maybe she’s just so shocked she couldn’t. “That’s—that’s great!”

“Sorry I didn’t, um, give a heads up. Or something. Uh…” He pauses, looking at her, trying to search for more words.

“No, it’s fine! I’m just surprised.” She shakes her head, seemingly to herself. “But now that you mention it, yeah, a heads up next time could be cool.”

“Next time,” Carmy promises with a nod. Next time, he thinks wistfully to himself. Maybe there could be a next time.

“So…I’m guessing no one else knows that you invited someone,” Sydney says, harmlessly, just as Tina and Marcus decide to come back into the kitchen.

“Carmy invited someone?” Marcus makes his way back into the kitchen, a sack of flour in one hand and a tin of cocoa powder in the other. They slam onto the counter at the baking station, resounding with a dull thud. “Lemme guess. Is it the roommate?”

“It's the roommate,” Carmy confirms, before anyone else can get a word in. Now, onto mincing the garlic.

“Jeff!” Tina exclaims, aghast. “Why didn't you say something earlier?” She’s walking some extra vegetables to her station to prep. “Way to surprise us!”

“Who’s surprising us? With what?” Carmy raises his head, and when he sees who's just come back through the front entrance, he lowers his head with an aggravated sigh. Richie. The last thing he needs right now.

“Carmy's bringing a date to family,” Tina tattles helpfully. Although Carmy begrudgingly acknowledges that he would've had to bring it up eventually.

“Not a date, just my roommate,” he mutters. Not that anyone's listening.

“Carmen, Carmen, Carmen.” Richie makes a drama production of swinging the door open into the kitchen, stepping through it with arms outstretched. An overpowering scent of pine cologne accompanies him. “So you do listen to your cousin when he talks, huh?”

“I have no idea what he's talking about,” Carmy tells Sydney, who just shrugs.

“I'm proud of you, cousin. Really proud.” Richie slaps him way too hard on the back, jerking Carmy forward.

“Don't do that when I'm using a knife, you asshole!” Carmy snaps, elbowing Richie out of the way. “Stupid fuckin’ idiot.”

“Jesus, fine, fine, I'll get out of your way!” Getting cursed at did little to deter Richie's smug demeanor. “Fuckin’ princess. If anyone needs me, I'll be in the back.”

“We won't,” Carmy says, and Richie flips him off as he walks away.

“Carmy's bringing his roommate, who he is not dating, to family,” Marcus projects to the rest of the kitchen, and Carmy resists a groan.

“It’s not a big deal.” Carmy slams his knife onto another clove of garlic, crushing it. “I don't see why you guys have to make such a fuss about it.”

“Because it's fun,” Marcus replies with a broad grin. “Sorry, chef.”

“Let us have our fun. We never get to poke fun at you,” Tina says.

“That is just not true,” Carmy groans, and everyone’s laugh resounds into a mismatched chorus.

They tease him relentlessly for a couple more minutes until it dissolves into sparse chatter, for which Carmy is grateful. Peaceful lulls in the kitchen are rare, especially in this particular one. He takes it while he can get it, honing in, oiling the pan, pressing the chicken into the bubbling surface until it's golden. The others gradually filter out as he cooks, leaving him to cook on his own.

Then comes the familiar chime of the front door.

Carmy turns the stove off, takes the pan off the heat to check to see who it is. Surely enough, it’s the guest of honor.

“Hey Carmy!” They’re looking cute as ever today, maybe even a bit more dressed up than usual. Part of Carmy thinks that maybe they dressed up for him, and another part of Carmy strangles the other one to death. “Hope I’m not too early.”

“Hey, you’re fine. I’m just about to finish up.” He guides them into the kitchen with him.

“Smells incredible in here,” they comment. “Also, before I forget. Is there somewhere I could put my coat? Break room or somethin?”

“Yeah, we can put it in my office.”

Upon entering, Carmy becomes acutely aware of exactly how messy his office is. It's not like he didn't know. He created the mess, after all, but having someone new bear witness to his stacks of papers and stuffed file folders is…embarrassing, to put it plainly. To Carmy's benefit and luck, though, they're much too polite of a person to comment.

“So this is where you're holed up.” Their head turns to look at all the posters and papers hung up on the wall, still largely unchanged from Michael's time.

“Yep. It's all bookkeeping, along with more bookkeeping,” he informs dryly. “Here, you can hang that on my chair.”

“Thanks.” They drape their jacket on the back of his chair, and Carmy is suddenly struck with the impression that it feels odd to see it there. “Oh!” They exclaim, looking at something on his desk.

He follows their gaze to the papaya pills and ginger candies sitting in the corner.

“Ah, yeah.” Why does he feel embarrassed? “I really need to thank you again for that.”

“No need, but I’ll take it. I hope they actually helped.”

“They did. I actually, uh…” He digs around in his apron pocket and fishes out a candy. “I’ve been keeping them on me.”

“I’m so glad to hear that.” They beam at him, visibly brightening. It’s infectious, and he feels himself smiling a little back.

A period of silence falls between them. This sort of thing keeps happening as recent. It leaves them looking at one another, and it should be awkward. Yet it’s not. It’s strange and peaceful, and then because Carmy is Carmy, his heart starts squeezing and telling him he needs to get out of here.

“Did you sleep alright? After, uh, last night.” He’s not sure why he’s asking that now.

“Yeah, I was fine. You?”

“Okay,” he replies instinctually. “Sorta,” he amends. “I’m doin’ better.”

“That’s good. Better is good.”

“Yeah.” He exhales out his nose, runs a hand through his hair.

There’s the muffled sound of laughter in the distance, and it reminds Carmy that they’re not quite alone. That he still has dishes he needs to finish cooking.

“I need to finish back in the kitchen. Let me show you where we’re sitting.”

Minus a few faces, everyone’s already seated at the table for family. There’s some idle chatter floating in the air, but it drops to the floor as soon as Carmy enters. Makes him feel like a deer in headlights.

“Everyone, this is my, uh—“ Something in Carmy’s brain buffers. “My friend,” he finally decides. He introduces them to the four that're seated already, those of which being Sydney, Marcus, Tina, and Ebra. There’s a mix of enthusiastic hellos and simple nods in response. He turns back to his roommate—friend—whatever—and they’re waving back. “I'll be back soon. Sit wherever you want.”

“Sure thing,” they reply easily, and it makes Carmy feel a little less guilty about abandoning them.

To his credit, he does try to finish cooking quickly. All he had left was the sauce, and he already prepped all the ingredients. Between the aromatic browned onions, emulsifying the sauce with wine, and dousing the chicken in it, he couldn't have taken more than 15 minutes.

He wasn't sure what to expect upon returning. The worst possible scenario would be complete silence. Or screaming, but that was unlikely. On his walk there, though, plates in hand, he hears pleasant chatter.

“The coffee down the street is overpriced,” Carmy hears his roommate saying. There’s a murmur of agreement. When he walks in, he sees all the seats at the table are full. “Don’t get me wrong, it's not bad, but you'd get coffee just as good one block down the other way at—”

“At Ironclad?” Marcus guesses hopefully, leaning in.

“At Ironclad,” they confirm, and there's a mix of cheers and boos.

“Grit is better,” Sydney challenges. “More espresso bean options.”

“You make a compelling point,” they reply. “A latte for $4 though? In this economy? Just try and beat that.”

“It's less at 7-Eleven,” Richie chimes in, and everyone boos. “It's one of the pillars of the working class! Admit it!”

They're not like him, Carmy remembers. They're actually socially competent, and they can do well for themself in a group of strangers. Seemingly with little effort, they’ve already assimilated themself.

“Family's up,” Carmy announces, sliding plates into the table. “Lemon chicken piccata and caramelized rosemary potatoes.”

“Jeff, didn't you show us this last week?” Tina asks. She leans in to waft the savory smell towards her nose, and she hums in approval.

“Yeah, I did. I just thought it'd be good to make it for you guys.” He finishes getting the rest of the plates from the kitchen, making sure everyone has a plate of food in front of them. He can tell who's started eating by the pleased expressions on their faces. Other than the fact that their food has a dent in it, of course.

“Carmy. This is on fire,” Ebra praises, nodding in approval towards him.

“Ebra, it's ‘this is fire’, not ‘this is on fire’,” Gary corrects, amused. “But I agree.”

“Good, good,” Carmy says. He settles into his seat at the front of the table, which is…weird, actually. He doesn't remember the last time he's actually sat and had family with everyone.

“Actually eating with us for once, Carmen?” Richie points out. He says it like a jab, because that's always how he speaks, but it lacks the fight that it usually does. Carmy can hear what he's really expressing—I'm glad you're joining us.

“I am,” Carmy responds evenly. He feels his roommate's curious gaze to his right, but they don't say anything. That's when he notices that they haven't started eating yet. His mind supplies a million different reasons at once. None of them sound sane, so they'll go unspoken. “Not hungry?” he asks instead.

“No, I just wanted to wait until you were here.” They say it like it's not a big deal. “I always did it with my family growing up. Just a habit, I guess.” Now that they're saying it, some of Carmy's memories start to make more sense. He suddenly remembers sitting with them at home, and he had to take a call right before they were about to start their dinner. When he came back, their food was still untouched. He didn't think much of it then, but now…

“Oh, cool. That's…” In the time he's searching for a word, they've taken a bite. “How is it?” He asks instead.

“Fuck.” They're shaking their head like something's wrong, but it's obvious from the gigantic smile on their face that it's anything but. “Carmy. Carmy. You're crazy.”

“Am I, now?” He knows he's probably got a stupid expression on his face.

“So crazy. This is incredible.” They slice themself another piece of chicken. “These capers too, man. You actually made me like capers.”

“The capers made you like capers,” Carmy jokes, and they snort.

“No, that's severely underplaying your part in all this. Seriously, this is delicious.” They always get this glowing smile when they're eating good food. He's witnessed it in their shared kitchen, whether it's food from their mutually favorite joint or their own two hands. He's never seen them smile like this, though. It's a joy that's possibly unique to Carmy's own cooking.

Carmy doesn't know how to handle that. Not even a little bit.

“Glad to hear it,” he says instead, ignoring the fullness in his heart, and he starts eating.

“I’mma start this week,” Marcus begins. “I'm grateful for the fact that my roommate Chester actually managed not to spoil the episode I missed of this show we’re watching this past week. He’s still a jackass, though.”

“You can say it’s The Bachelor, we all already know,” Sydney teases. Marcus huffs, but he’s smiling.

“Just for that, you’re goin’ now,” he replies, motioning towards her with a fork.

“Sure, sure. Yeah, um, I’m grateful for my dad’s good health.” Sydney shrugs, nonchalant when there’s a group of “aww”s. “I am! He had this, ugh, awful case of bronchitis, but he's good now. It was scary. Tina?”

“Hm…” Tina chews thoughtfully as she thinks. “Oh! My dumbass son actually passed his finals. Even with some A’s!” She claps her hands excitedly and clasps them to rest under her chin. That gets a variety of cheers. “If he actually tries, he can be so smart. But not without stressing me the fuck out first. What about you, Rich?”

“Easy. I found that pine cologne that Marcus hates,” Richie says, smug.

“I noticed,” Marcus replies mildly. “Everyone hates it, by the way.”

“I smell like the fuckin’ forest! It's majestic as shit.” Richie makes a show of sniffing his shirt amongst all the booing mixed with laughter. That's when he looks to Carmy’s roommate, who's been politely listening and eating. “You wanna have a go of it, guest of honor?”

“Oh, sure. Something I'm grateful for, right?” They put down their utensils and thoughtfully rub their index finger across their chin. “Well…I’m feeling pretty grateful to be eating this delicious food. It's not often I get to eat food this good.” It's not that good, Carmy wants to say to combat the fluttering in his stomach, but it's far too contradictory. He made sure to make it good since they were going to be eating it. “How about you, Carmy?”

“Huh?” Carmy's been on autopilot, comfortable to watch everyone else. He's not much of a participant. Now everyone's got their eyes on him. “I'm grateful for, uh…”

I'm grateful for that smile you get when you eat my cooking, he wants to say. I'm grateful to have someone like you.

“I'm grateful to be in good company,” Carmy says. That receives a round of hearty reactions, including a look from his roommate that he can only describe as affectionate. He pointedly looks back down at his half-eaten plate when he feels his ears getting warm.

“Aw, you softie,” Richie snickers. “What, are we embarrassin’ you?”

“Shut it,” he mutters, but there's barely any heat behind it. His reaction only creates more laughter around the table. “Ebra, you go next.”

Little does Richie know what he's really embarrassed about. Everyone's teasing isn't helping, sure, but it's not his fellow chefs, it's them. It's their stupid smile that he keeps looking back at. It's that he knows it's from the food he made for them, it's that he doesn't know what to do with all these feelings taking up residence in his heart.

Between the energetic chatter and the cleaned off plates, Carmy realizes that a part of what he's feeling is happiness. It's an odd sensation, which says a lot about the type of person that he is. It's the truth, though. He's just cooked a good meal for people he cares a lot about, and the happiness that has come with that is weird.

Not bad weird, though. Good weird.

If anyone noticed how strange he looked smiling with a fork in his mouth, they didn't mention it.

Family goes by faster than Carmy is used to. That's what happens when you actually join in for once, he supposes. He just wasn't expecting it to wrap up so quickly. Or, it's more accurate to say he didn't want to see them go already.

“Guess you guys have to get ready for service now, right?” They've returned to his office to grab their jacket, giving the two of them a brief moment of privacy.

“Yeah. Service starts at 3.” He sighs, and they sympathetically return his sigh.

“Right. Well, I really enjoyed eating with everyone. And the food? Seriously, it was so good. You knocked it out of the park. I’m sure you get this all the time, but you’re seriously incredible at what you do.”

“I don’t hear that so much anymore,” he admits. “Not like I used to. Um…” He clears his throat, shakes his head. “I’m just glad you enjoyed it. I should really cook more outside of this place. Maybe cook for us in our kitchen for once.”

“You know I’m here for that. I could have your cooking any time,” they gush, like it doesn’t make Carmy’s heart palpitate. “I get it, through. You spend all day cooking here, I get that you don’t wanna come home and cook.”

“Yeah, but…it's different.” It's different because it’s for you, he wants to say, but as expected, he doesn’t.

“W-What?” Suddenly, their cheeks go pink. “Well, if you put it like that…”

“...” The realization buffers in his head before fully forming. He actually said that aloud after all. Too late to take it back. “Uh, yeah, I mean, I just think, I should give you a break from making leftovers for the week,” he stutters in a weak attempt to cover his accidental affection. “And, um, I just want to, because I…”

“Because…?” He’s taking way too fucking long to finish this sentence. Their face doesn’t betray any impatience, though. It never does, and seeing that makes him relax.

“Because I—like that you like my cooking.”

“I love your cooking,” they correct, their smile teasing.

“Um, right—you love—” he tries to fix his words again, but this one’s far too much to say. The butterflies in his stomach feel similar to nausea. The conflict must show on his face in an insane way, because their smile turns into a wide grin full of amusement.

“It was a good attempt.” That makes him laugh a little. “Hey, if you’re saying I get to bring your cooking to work this next week, I’m not objecting.”

“I’ll try my best.” His eyes catch the clock on the wall. He needs to wrap this up. “I’m not trying to kick you out, but I really gotta get back now.”

“It’s cool. I should be heading out anyway. I’ll see you at home?”

“Yeah,” he says, poorly hiding the affection in it, “I’ll see you at home. And, uh—thanks. For coming.”

“Of course. I had fun,” they say with a smile. “See ya.”

He watches them leave through the entrance, hearing that familiar sound of the ringing bell, and they're gone.

Carmy is left standing there with an odd warmth in his chest. It doesn't overwhelm him, doesn't suffocate him, just sits there. It's a strange, but nice feeling.

This is what happiness feels like, he realizes, and in this moment, fear is nowhere to be found.

. . . . .

The dinner rush is fine. It's just fine. It's just another thing for Carmy to get through, and he does. Just another obstacle between him and getting home.

A wishful part of him always hopes that they'll be able to close before 10, but it is a very lofty wish to make, especially on a Saturday. With great regret, he puts his car into park at 10:44 pm. The night air is frigid and awful against his brittle dry skin and cracked lips. He can't get to his front door fast enough.

Opening the front door sends warm gusts of heated air across his face. He can't help his relieved sigh, especially not when he sees them sitting on the couch. They’re dressed in a loose t-shirt and bike shorts, a combo that makes his heart pulse.

“Hey, welcome back.” They give him a little wave. He finds it surprisingly easy to smile and wave back. This strange joy keeps finding new ways to pop up. “How was the rest of your day?”

“Fine,” he says, because it was. It was fine. “Busy, but normal. You know how it is. Weekends.” They hum in agreement. He kicks his shoes off by the door, walks over to where they're seated. This is when he notices the laundry basket on the floor with stacks of folded clothes. They grab a sweater from the pile of clothes on the coffee table and lay it out on their lap. “Doin’ laundry?”

“Yeah. I'm trying to be responsible.” They smooth out the sweater, working out the creases in the collar with their fingers. “I think some of your socks ended up in the wash with my stuff.” They motion to a neat stack of miscellaneous white socks sitting on the coffee table.

“Oh, yeah. These are mine.” He picks them up, turns them around in his hand. “Sorry, guess I missed them when I was last doing laundry.”

“It's fine. They're just extra clean now.”

“And folded.” He does his best to put his socks down just as they were even though he’ll have to move them anyway. “Thank you.”

“No problem.” They pull up another piece of clothing from their basket. Carmy immediately recognizes it as they throw it over to him. It’s his boxers.

“Shit, sorry,” he apologizes on reflex, heating up with embarrassment. He crumples it up in his hand.

“It’s chill. Besides, didn’t you get one of my bras once?”

“Ah, yeah. I forgot,” he says, like he needed a moment to remember it. It’s all a facade. He couldn’t get that moment out of his memories he tried. It was very lacy, and it made him more nervous than someone his age should’ve been.

“Oh, I forgot to mention when I saw you earlier. I paid the water bill today. It was 48 something.” They lean forward to grab a white envelope. The monthly payment from the water company. They flip it open and scan the paper again. “It was—48 dollars and 19 cents, to be exact.”

“Lower than last month.” He is grateful to be discussing the water bill instead of their underwear. “Much lower, actually.”

“I’ve been trying to cut back on my 30 minute showers, and I’d like to think that’s why.”

“Good job,” he says jokingly, and they pretend to bow like they’ve won an award. “I still think 30 minutes is just a little too long,” he teases after. This is a familiar conversation.

“Maybe to you, Mr. 5 minute showers,” they scoff. They kindly don’t mention how little he actually showers. “I have a lot of serious business to attend to in there! Lots of meetings, lots of calls…” They snicker, and he makes a dismissive noise, but he’s smiling. He's never been good at hiding his amusement around them. “So, yeah. Just venmo me when you get the chance.”

“Already on it,” he says. As soon as he sends it, their phone dings with the notification.

“Thank you, thank you. And, ah, not to bombard you with more housekeeping, but I'm gonna try and go grocery shopping this monday. Wanted to ask if you need me to pick up anything.”

“Uh…” Detergent, coffee, soap, peanut butter, bread, chips, he notes in his head, rattling off a list. “I need a lot of stuff, so don't worry about it. Actually—” He turns to look at them, and they look up from their laundry with a curious look. “When were you thinking about going?”

“It's my day off, so anytime. What, wanna join me?”

“If you don't mind going in the morning, then yeah.” It feels weird, asking for accommodations like this. When you're running a business that keeps you until 10 pm everyday, though, you don't have a choice. “Like, 9 am?”

“Not earlier?” They smile knowingly. “I don't mind. We can do 8 am, if you want.”

“I wouldn't wanna make you wake up any earlier than you already have to on your day off.”

“It's no different to me, really. Besides, I'm offering.”

“Right. Uh…” I shouldn't push it, he thinks to himself with near certainty, but he stops. Takes a moment. They're offering. “Sure, then. 8 am.”

“8 am,” they reply easily. A wistful smile appears on their face. “When's the last time we've gone grocery shopping together?”

“I can't remember, so at least over a month.” That's also the last time I properly went grocery shopping, he remembers, but he doesn't want to share that.

“Way too long.” They shake their head. “It's just hard to line our schedules up. You think it'd be easier since we live together.”

“Y'think,” he echoes tiredly. “Not like I’m makin’ it any easier, being at The Beef everyday and all.”

“Well…yeah, I suppose not. It is a little scary how long you go without a day off.” They make a face. “When's the last day you've had a day off?”

“Dunno. Just got a lot to do…all the time.”

“All the time.” They sigh. “Is that really how it's supposed to be? Being a business owner?”

“When your business is fucked, yeah.” The growing distress on their face makes the corners of his mouth twitch in an amused smile. “Scraping by from week to week.”

“Damn.” They raise their eyebrows, shake their head. “I don't know how you do it.”

“I'm used to it.” It's the truth. The longer he thinks about it, though, the festering dread starts to creep out from the hole he's kicked it in. So he changes the subject before it can come out and choke him to death. “Mind if I crack open the window for a smoke?”

“Only if you don't let me join you,” they reply with a wide grin, and he laughs.

After changing out of his work clothes into a tank top and gray sweatpants, he sits himself at their designated window. He cracks it open just a smidge—it's too cold tonight. The cars are quiet, at least. He pulls his pack from his pocket and places a cigarette into his mouth.

“You want a cig?” Carmy asks when they take the empty seat across from him. Their smoking device of choice today is their water pipe. It looks like a juicebox from the packaging, shape, and the plastic straw arching out of it.

“Can I just take a hit off yours instead? Not really in the mood for a whole cig right now.” He wordlessly passes his lit cig to them. They take a slow hit, the orange glow creeping up it. They look down at it and frown. “Sorry, I got a little lip gloss on it. I didn't realize I still had some on.”

“It's fine.” He takes it back and inspects it. Little oily pink smudges lay in a messy circle on the filter. “As long as it's not like that other lipstick.”

“God, no.” They drag a hand over their face. “I know I keep saying it, but I'm so sorry about that. That was mortifying.”

“Don't worry about it. Dust under the rug.” When he brings his mouth back around his cig, a faint stickiness clings to his lips. He bulldozes through the jittery feeling it brings with it.

They sit there smoking side by side for a minute. His gaze flickers between the moving city scenery out the window and the sight of them smoking from their bubbler. Clearly one is more captivating than the other. He watches the translucent smoke fill the glass, go up the straw, and out of their lips.

They catch him staring. His only saving grace is that he doesn't flinch.

“You want some?” They ask, turning the bubbler towards him. So that's what they thought he was doing. He can live with that.

“Sure, if you're offering.”

“Yeah, I am. This one's real sleepy shit, just so you know.”

“Good. I need that tonight.” The taste of the weed is strangely floral as it goes down, but he can't place what it is. “Did you mix this with something?”

“Not this time. Tastes weird though, right? It's kinda…detergent-y. One of my friends says it tastes like dryer sheets.”

“So am I smoking laundromat weed? Tide pod weed?” It's a stupid joke, but Carmy finds that the dumber the joke, the harder it makes them laugh.

“Laundromat weed,” they wheeze. “No, it's not tide pod weed. I can't afford name brand.”

“Equate weed, then?”

“Kroger brand, actually,” they say, “but I hear Up & Up is pretty good, too.”

“I'm sure it's just as good as name-brand shit.”

“Most of the time.”

Carmy clears the rest of the chamber of the excess smoke before sliding it back across the table to them.

“Thanks.” The buzz is setting in. The mix of cannabis and nicotine always feels a little weird, but in a thrilling way. “I really just need to get my own shit, stop mooching off you.”

“I steal enough of your cigs, so don't worry about it.” This is when he notices that their eyes have gone a little pink from the weed. He also notes to himself that he shouldn't be looking so closely. “So, did something good happen today?”

“Good?”

“Yeah. You just seem to be in a particularly good mood, is all.”

“Oh.” He immediately knows why. Surely he can't just be honest with them, but the high's lowered his barriers, and he decides to just let himself say it. “Yeah, something good did happen, now that you mention it.”

“That's good,” they say, like it has nothing to do with them. “It's nice to see you with a little less stress on you. What happened?”

“You don't already know?” He asks, because there's no way they don't know. From the look on their face, though, they really don't. “It was you.”

“...” Their face colors. “Oh,” they say, just like he did a second ago. He likes seeing them smile with a blush to match. “I mean, I thought, maybe, I just didn't wanna assume…”

“It was nice. Having you there with everyone, I mean.”

“They're really cool. You've got some great coworkers.”

“I do,” he replies quietly, faintly. It's true, even when he wants to let The Beef catch on fire. “Everyone really liked you.”

“Really?” The surprise is clear on their face.

“Yeah, really.” Throughout the rest of the day, the others had come up to him expressing some sort of approval. Not that he needed their approval. It felt nice, though. How'd you find someone so…nice? Marcus had asked, entirely genuine, and all Carmy could do was shrug. It was a good question.

How was a person like him allowed to have anything good in his life?

“Am I allowed to ask what they said?”

“You're allowed,” he says, amused. “Marcus said you were really nice. So did Syd. Seems you hit it off with them.”

“I think I did, too.” They sit with his reply for a moment, staring out the window and idly tapping their fingers on the bubbler. “Feels weird.”

“Weird?”

“A good weird,” they clarify. “You ever get weirded out by the fact that people talk about you when you're not there? And it's like, good things they're saying, too?”

“Constantly,” he admits. “I don't know if I'll ever get used to it.”

“Yeah.” Their hands are fiddling with the ends of their hair. “I guess I just have a hard time believing that people will think the best of me when I'm not around. Like…like, I don't know, just…”

“No, I understand.” Carmy's feels acutely more alert now. “It's like, uh, object permanence, kinda. But with—with people.”

“That's exactly it!” They exclaim, and then they deflate again. “It's stupid, but I just…”

“It's not stupid,” he assures them, and their lips quirk in a tiny smile. “If it helps, I…I don't think the worst of you when you're not around.”

“Hearing you say it aloud makes me realize how crazy it is for me to think like that,” they murmur, “but thank you. That does…that does make me feel better, actually.”

“Sure.” It's better if you don't know the details, he thinks to himself, reminiscing on naked dreams and daydreams around their bright smile.

He really shouldn’t sit on the couch with them. It’s late, and he needs to be in his own bed at this time of night. Unfortunately, logic isn’t at the forefront when he sees them. He’s high and wants to stick to them like glue, so he does. They’ve turned on these HD videos of people making drinks. It’s like sensory videos for babies, except for adults, they told him, and that got the two of them giggling.

It’s nice. Far too nice than what Carmy’s used to. But this time, he doesn’t want to let it go, and he’s not afraid of that, either.

I want this to last, he thinks, unafraid, and he falls asleep listening to their voice.

. . . . .

Carmy wakes up by jolting up from the couch. He’s hunched and heaving for air, and all he can think about is that he needs to see Michael.

“Mike,” he calls out. His voice is raspy and shaken. His body feels like a piece of stretched twine. He’s about to call out for Mike again until he lifts his head to see his roommate who is definitely not Michael.

Fuck.

“Hey. Are you okay?” Their expression is alert, but gentle. He doesn’t trust himself to speak, so he just keeps his mouth shut and breathes heavily through his nose. He manages a nod. He imagines it doesn’t look very convincing.

“Just need a second,” he gets out. God, he sounds awful.

“You’re fine. You don’t need to explain anything, just…take your time.”

“I thought today was going to be a good day,” he gets out between gritted teeth. “Stupid. Fuckin’ stupid of me. Fuck. Mi—” He cuts himself off. That indescribable fear he thought was far has resurfaced, pushing in between the cracks in his ribs, desperate in the space it’s vying for.

Why the fuck are his eyes hot? He shouldn’t cry. Not over this. Not over anything.

“Who’s—?” They stop themself, mouth closing in a thin line. “Sorry. I don’t need to ask.” The question starts and ends there, but he knows what they’re asking.

Who’s Mike?

It feels like two knives sharpening each other, the tinny sound of steel against steel. It pierces him once, twisting, turning into a dull, painful ache. Like an old wound that hasn’t had enough time to heal, an old throbbing scar.

Michael.

“He...” Carmy starts, but it’s too much. It’s too much, and his hands are trembling, shaking terribly. It’s gonna happen again. He can’t do this.

Softer hands hold his, thumbs rubbing soft circles on the back of his dry hands. With each rotation on his skin, with each lap, Carmy slows down. He returns.

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” they whisper. Their hands are so gentle. “I didn’t mean to ask, it just sorta popped out.”

“No, it’s okay,” he responds without thinking, surprising even himself. Even though it’s not really okay, even though he doesn’t really wanna talk about it, maybe he does, because he hasn’t gone completely silent yet. “He was my brother.”

“Ah...” Realization sets in their voice. “I see.”

“He was a drug addict,” he explains, pretending like saying it doesn’t feel like crumbling dough, like sugar dissolving into boiling water. “Killed himself.”

The grip on his hands tighten. He appreciates the feeling.

This is the mark you’ve left, Carmy thinks suddenly. How fucked up is that, Mike? The first thing I tell people is the last thing you ever did. When did you stop being my best friend and start being my older brother who killed himself?

“I’m sorry,” they say quietly, because of course they do. That’s all anyone can think to say. Carmy’s too tired to feel angry about that anymore. “When did he pass away?”

“Last February,” he answers like it’s a quiz question, like it doesn’t mean anything. “It’ll be a year in a couple months.”

“I see.” Their hands are holding his gently again. Carmy finds he prefers this. “That must’ve been really hard. Still is, I’m sure.”

“...Still is, yeah. Especially with the restaurant. It was his,” he explains, when he sees the confusion beginning in their eyes. “He was the previous owner, and he left it. To me.”

“So that’s why you’re here and not in New York?” They ask. He nods.

“I’m trying to fix it.” He doesn’t say I’m fixing it, because that would mean he’s made progress.

“I don’t know how it was before, but it seems like you are fixing it. I know I’ve barely been there, you know it a million times better than I do, it just...it seems like people are happy there.”

“Happy,” he muses. “Yeah. I guess so.”

“Everyone seems to really like you,” they go on. “That’s something, isn’t it?”

“It is. Doesn’t fix the debt, but...” He shrugs half-heartedly. No, not even half. Quarter-heartedly. “It’s somethin’.”

“I had no clue.” There’s something regretful, rueful in their words. “This whole time, you’ve just been...”

“Don’t,” he interrupts.

“...I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—”

“No, I’m sorry,” he backtracks. “I just mean...don’t give me your pity,” he mutters. It’s a bitter thing to say. Luckily, he’s so drained it comes out without any of the venom. It’s better that way. They don’t deserve his poison.

“It’s not pity,” they argue, their reply so instant it sobers him. “It’s...respect, I guess.”

“Respect?”

“Yeah. You’ve got a lot on your plate. I couldn’t handle all the stuff you do, but you’re doing great.”

“I barely sleep most nights,” he says suddenly. He’s unsure why. It’s like he has to prove something. “When I do, there’s nightmares. You saw that tonight and yesterday. I almost burned down the house. My stomach’s still fucked. I’m not...” His eyes feel hot again. Breathing suddenly feels different. There’s ringing, static clogging his ears. “I’m not doing great,” he realizes with stunning, raw clarity, and the pain of it knocks the wind out of him.

“You’re doing great,” they say again. “Look at me, Carmy.”

He looks at them. Their eyes are warm.

"I,” he starts, but he’s having an awful time trying to breathe. When he inhales, he feels like he’s splintering, a unified whole breaking into jagged, drifting parts.

Dread overtakes him in the blink of an eye. He doesn’t want them to see him like this. Hasn’t he already done enough?

“Breathe in with me.” They inhale, slowly, counting to 8. He counts with them like a lifeline, which it partially is. His breaths come out staggered, but he claws forward. Tries his best to keep his eyes interlocked with theirs. “And exhale...”

He clings onto every beat in their voice, every circle their thumbs make. Their words wrap around him, bringing the broken pieces back together, clicking them into place again. They restore his sense of gravity, returning his feet to solid ground with every breath.

“You’re okay,” they say softly. One of their hands moves up to brush back hair from his face. The feeling of their fingers tucking hair behind his ear makes his eyes flutter briefly shut.

“I’m okay,” he whispers back. It doesn’t sound very convincing. Fake it until you make it, he reminds himself.

“You’re okay.” They take one last deep breath with him, and when he exhales, his head feels clear again.

“Sorry. That was...” He shakes his head. “I don’t usually...”

“Never gotten one of those before?”

“No, it’s not that. I’ve had tons of panic attacks before, just...not in front of anyone else,” he finishes awkwardly.

“Yeah?” Carmy finds himself looking down at their conjoined hands instead of their eyes. “Well, you certainly don’t have to apologize. I get them too, from time to time.”

“Thank you. For...calming me down.” He takes another deep breath to steady himself. “It helped a lot.”

“No problem.” There’s that glowing smile he can’t get enough of. “How’re you feeling now?”

“I…” He tries to pinpoint something in all the noise. It’s proving difficult. “I’m calmer,” he notices.

“That’s good.”

“Yeah, uh, I don’t know what to, how to, explain my…feelings.” The words are so haphazardly put together that he stammers as they tumble on the way out of his mouth.

“Don’t worry, you’re doing great.” From anyone, the sentiment would make him shut down even more, turn his head the other way. From them, though…

“I’m okay,” he says, and it’s the truth. “I think, um, just a lot hit me all at once.”

“I get it. It often happens like that, doesn’t it?”

“It does. I just...” He briefly shuts his eyes, and there’s a flash of Michael. “It’s hard. Doing all this without him.” They nod. “I never wanted to. Not on my own.”

“He must’ve been a great guy.”

“He was,” he starts, and his throat closes up. They seem to understand, because they don’t say anything else. He doesn’t say it, but he’s glad for it. This is all he can bear.

It’s hard to put into words, the way Carmy feels right now. He’s never been great at describing how he feels, even when he was a kid. Sometimes he’d cry about the wrong things, and he wouldn’t cry at the right things. But there wasn’t quite any right or wrong way to feel. It just was. It just is.

The grief comes in waves. It always has, and it always will. Each wave is a natural disaster on its own, a tsunami that fills his lungs with water, leaving nothing in its wake. But something about this one just washed slowly over him, leaving just droplets of water in his hair. If anything, he just feels...lighter.

He supposes this is what really trusting someone feels like.

The moment of peace is eventually ruined by his stomach growling. Loudly.

“Hungry?” They say first with an amused grin.

“I guess.” He hadn’t realized. “I didn’t eat much today.”

“Hm, I do suppose you had a late lunch, too, if that matters.”

“Sure. That’s also all I had to eat today.” He doesn’t know why he lets that slip, but he does.

“Oh no!” That makes them jump up, detaching their hands from his. He tries not to mourn the loss for too long. “No wonder you’re hungry.”

“It’s fine. It’s like this sometimes,” he says, like it’s a normal and healthy thing to be doing. “Just one of those days.” They frown.

“What do you do when your stomach gets like this? What do you eat?”

“I don’t eat,” he answers honestly, and they gasp.

“Carmy! That is not the answer. I mean, like, don’t force it down, but is there really nothing you can stomach?”

“If I start chewing, I just feel worse. I’ll usually just have some water and a cigarette. If I have time, coffee.”

“You can’t be having that French girl breakfast. You just can’t.” That gets a laugh out of him. “You’re becoming a French girl, and you’re laughing. Carmy! This is serious.” That only makes him laugh harder.

“Do all French girls also have stomach issues?” He wheezes out. That sets off their laughter.

“I don’t know. You tell me, Ms. France.”

“Wait, stop, I don’t wanna be in a beauty pageant.”

“Then stop following their diet! Look—” They try to speak again, and they cut themself off with more laughter. “Okay. No. I’m fine. I’m not laughing. You, you need to eat. No skipping meals.”

“I usually end up having lunch,” he argues.

“Y’know, as someone whose whole life is food, I would expect you to know the importance of breakfast more.”

“Just because I know it’s important doesn’t mean I’m gonna have it.”

“Hm. I don’t love your reasoning. Stop laughing! I’m mad at you. I’m so mad I’m gonna give you homework.”

“Homework? Just so you know, I wasn’t a good student.”

“It’s okay, I grade on a curve. Here’s your homework—you are going to use my protein powder that is sitting in the cabinet to the right of the fridge, and you’re going to put it in some milk. And then you’re gonna drink that shit. That’s what I have when I wake up nauseous.”

“I think I can try that.” His cheeks hurt from smiling. “Do you accept late work?” That makes them sigh dramatically, making a show of it.

“I suppose. Just don’t make it a habit! I won’t be this lenient every time.”

“Yeah, you will,” Carmy says without thinking. They gasp.

“No, I won’t! I can be mean.”

“I don’t think you have a mean bone in your body.”

“That’s actually a really nice thing to say, but keep this up and you’ll see my mean side!”

He doesn’t mean to laugh, but he does. That just ruffles them up further.

“You just don’t seem real, sometimes,” he admits. “It scares me.”

“It does?” He has to commend them for their calm reaction.

“Good things scare me, I think. I know that's…fucked up, but…”

“No, it makes sense. It shouldn't, but…it does to me.” He can't place their expression. It's some mixture of nostalgic and haunted. Or maybe just plain haunted.

“Yeah?” They nod. “That's not good,” he mumbles, and the beauty of their shared, awful truth makes them both smile.

“Well.” Their cheeks are less flushed, but there's still a dusting of color, like faint cocoa powder on cake. “I promise that I am, in fact, very real.”

“Pinky promise?” Carmy doesn't know where that comes from. They have a habit of bringing a strange silliness out of him.

“Pinky promise. I'll even prove it to you.”

“How do you plan on doing that, exactly?”

“Easy.” They outstretch their arms, and it clicks in his head with a rush. “Unless you're the sort of person that's not into hugging.”

“No, I am.” The words rush out, as if they're desperate to keep the offer on the table. “I mean, I hug my family when I see ‘em.”

“I'll admit, I'm a hugger. I give my friends hugs all the time. I just didn't know if you minded that sort of thing.”

“I don't mind. I like them, um…just don't usually initiate ‘em, I guess.” The anticipation is speeding up the beat of his heart like a coach on the sidelines.

“Then bring it in, big guy,” they say, and he leans in.

The last time they hugged each other, Carmy was sleep-deprived and they were half-lucid from alcohol. This time is different. It's purposeful, tight, and all-encompassing. Their arms go over his shoulders and link around his neck to bring him in close. His arms naturally slot underneath theirs, meeting in the middle of their back.

He can feel their hair tickling his neck. His heartbeat is in his ears, and he prays they can't hear it. They squeeze him, light, and his eyes flutter shut.

“This is better,” Carmy whispers. He doesn't know why he's whispering. He supposes his mouth being so close to their ear makes him quiet.

“Better than what?” Their voice has gone soft to match his. The vibrations next to his ear send a slim shiver up his spine.

“Than the first time we hugged.” He pauses. “Unless you don't remember.”

“I remember.” They laugh, breathy and shy. “God. Sorry if that made you uncomfortable.”

“It didn't.” He tightens his hold on them. He doesn't know if they meant for the hug to last this long, but they're warm and perfect to hold. They smell like smoke and a flower he can't place.

“Good.” He feels them turning their head, shifting their face into his hair, and he thinks his heart is going to explode, turning into a red jam inside of him. “So, am I real or what?”

“Mm, you're real. You've convinced me.” He thinks he could fall asleep like this. Sadly, as soon as he says that, they take it as the cue to unlink their bodies.

Their hair's messy from where it was pressed up against the side of his head. He notices how cold he feels without them.

“If you need reminding, just let me know.” Their cheeks are rosy again. Cute. “Like I said, I'm a hugger, so…”

“I wouldn't be opposed.” I think I need that, actually, he thinks to himself.

“Okay. Good to know.”

“Um.” Awkwardness is suddenly his primary emotion. “Shit, I didn't even think to check the time. What time is it?”

“Lemme check.” They pull out their phone from their pocket. “12:40 am.”

Carmy sighs.

“Better than I thought.” When he stands up off the couch, he feels every aching muscle protesting in disapproval. “I should sleep in my actual bed. But, um…” He fidgets with his hands, anxious. “Thank you. For staying with me. And talking to me about stuff.”

“You don't have to thank me. Thank you for trusting me with all that.” They cock their head to the side as they look up at him. Cute, he thinks again, unbearably. “I feel like I know you a lot better.”

“Mm.” Carmy feels his face getting hot, meaning he has to change the topic as quickly as possible. “It feels nice. Being known by you. I…” He thinks about that night he held their hair behind them as they cried into the toilet. I want to know you, Carmy, they whispered, beautifully genuine even in their drunken stupor. “I want to know you, too,” he finally allows himself to say, and he knows by the full feeling in his chest that it's the truth.

They get that shy smile he's seen so much of today. Carmy realizes he likes that he's the one that keeps making them smile like that.

“Okay, then. I wouldn't mind that.” They stand up from the couch next, and they stretch their arms far above their head. “Maybe another night, though. It's late.”

“Right. I didn't mean…”

“Hey, if we didn't both have work tomorrow, I'd love to keep talking.” There goes their uncanny ability to wash his anxieties away so easily, a washcloth dissolving dirt. They start walking down the hallway to their bedrooms, and he trails behind them on instinct. “But I think we've kept each other up late too many nights recently.”

“I think so, yeah.” Without context, that'd make his stomach squirm with the implications. Their bedroom's first down the hall, so they move to hover in their doorway. “Um,” he starts, a sudden unspeakable urge gripping him, “just one more thing.”

“What is it?”

Fuck it, Carmy thinks. Fuck it.

With only minimal hesitation, he leans down and pulls them into a hug. They make a small noise of surprise, but they reciprocate almost instantly.

“Just wanted to double check,” he mumbles. He keeps the hug short this time, because he knows if he doesn't, he won't be able to let go.

“Still real, right?”

“Still real.”

“Good idea, to double check.” They step backwards, one hand on their door. “G'night, Carmy. I'll see you tomorrow.”

“G'night,” he murmurs back. “See you.”

I'm fucked, Carmy realizes once the door shuts. The hallway is dark, and there is an unusual amount of good in his life. I'm so fucked.

@zorrasucia @carmenberzattosgf @carmenbrzatto

#carmy berzatto #carmen berzatto #the bear #carmen berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto x reader #the bear fx #jeremy allen white #carmy berzatto x you #carmen berzatto x you #the bear fanfiction #my fics #OKAYY this ones a big one. i had a LOT of fun with the prose in this. i can rly feel myself improving which is awesome #was gonna make it shorter but then i just kept playing around with the dialogue and! well here we are #also thanks again everyone that's actually stuck with this fic. i still have a hard time believe ppl rly read this with how long it is #carmy is on the verge of snapping soon.... i have a feeling next ch is gonna be a big one folks #alexithymia fic

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mio-actuallywrites · 5 months

Text

The World You Once Loved Pt 4!

4/12-ish?

PREVIOUS NEXT

1300+ words

What Sorta adventures will you go on now, Prefect?

A/N AT BOTTOM!!

not proofread, will most likely come back tomorrow morning and add some small parts/edits.

As soon as you entered the kitchen 10 pairs of eyes of familiar were on you as you soon almost got tackled to the floor.

“I’ll just… leave the house I guess…” Oboko mumbled as she grabbed her coat and left, but you could care less.

“Prefect!” Was all that you could hear before you interrupted them, curious why… or how they came.

“Hey guys, it’s nice to see you but… why or how did you come here?” Suddenly it was all silent.

“… WAKASAMA WOULD BE PROUD OF YOUR GROWTH!” Sebek suddenly yelled… probably to avoid the question.

“But seriously… how?”

“It was Ace.” Was all that Epel said before all eyes suddenly moved to him.

“Well… Uh… so…” Ace froze up before slowly continuing, “I sorta said Tokyo Japan… because.. I just wanted to see what happened?!”

“Are you telling me it took almost a goddamn year for Crowley to find me away home but it took 2 FUCKING MINUTES?!” After your sudden outburst you saw a moving bag on the counter… and something black and furry was coming out… wait was that GRIM?

“MWAHHH HENCHMAN I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!!” Grim suddenly launched himself at you as you felt him hug you close.

“Grim… “ you mumbled, suddenly feeling bad for your outburst, perhaps hugging Grim calmed you down, after not feeling or seeing him for a while and finally being able to was really comforting.

“So what are you guys gonna do now?”

“Can’t we join your house until we find a way back?” Grim replied.

“Uh first off all, I have 2 roommates, second of all therel is barely enough room for us 3. Third off all it was your guys fault you came here.” You finished, crossing your arms.

“But don’t you have a Ramshackle-like place here??” You heard someone ask, but you didn’t play any mind to it.

“I mean…” you responded thinking of an idea.

“HUMAN YOU MUST TELL US NOW!” Sebek quickly responded.

I mean, you might have had enough money to rent a small home, for the most a month. After all those hours being a barista you must have gained enough money, for plus the dorm you live in is paid for by the school, so your able to right?

“Uh… have you guys ever heard of Air bnbs?”

Let’s just say at around 3 AM, a group of teens? Young adults walked into a hotel, because you couldn’t book a air bnb for the next day, so here you were using (wasting) all YOUR money on them. Hmm maybe Crowley was smart bribing you maybe you could use those tricks and use them against certain someone’s.

Anyways after checking in to the hotel and minus 11,364.38 yen, you finally had got a rest for the night.

You might be questioning why did it take 3 hours

To find a hotel? Well, you had to drive 3 fucking hours to figure out where to stay, and you had to buy them food. So, while they ate all happily, (minus grim as he was forced into a bag while you all ate) you were over there moping about all of your savings being used on something like this.

Back to the hotel, you shared a room with Sebek while Ace and Deuce shared a room, and Epel and Jack shared one. Grim, he was also with you but somehow he gave you his spot on the bed, but forced Sebek on the couch. (What did you expect?)

After arriving to your hotel room you couldn’t bother to do anything else to sleep, you were already tired at this point so you basically fainted when you hit the bed. However, the thoughts still haunted your brain on how they came here.

Sebek, still most likely pissed for getting the couch himself, was fumbling with the TV remote, trying to figure out how to work it, and what it does.

Grim, who knows what he was doing, you couldn’t bother by how tired you were.

However next door, you could hear the murmur of Ace and Deuce, sharing stories from their exploration of Tokyo, and what they noticed on the way to your home. They promised you to tell you tomorrow, however you were nervous to hear what chaos they were up to. the laughter from the 2 close friends echoed faintly through the thin hotel walls, while Sebek was still trying to figure out how the TV works.

As you lay there, thoughts swirled in your mind questions about how or why they came. Now you couldn’t care about all that money you spent. You cared about how they came/why they did. While it took Crowley 8 months to figure it out.

The thoughts of your brain slowly died away as you let sleep take over you.

Just as quick as you fell asleep, you were suddenly awakened again, you grabbed the phone next to you which read the time of 9:32 AM.

You sighed as you looked over to see Sebek sleeping on the couch with Grim under the covers of the bed, curled up in a ball. (Which he would never admit to doing however.)

With a stretch and a yawn, you reluctantly got up and went to the bathroom, got changed and did whatever you did in the mornings.

After getting ready, you woke up Sebek and Grim, after they both got up, you went to Ace and Deuces room and knocked, after a few knocks and calling their names, Deuce opened the door, looking all ready, while you saw Ace in the background still getting ready.

“Let’s meet at my room at 10:45? Okay?” You asked, still having to get over to Epels and Jacks room.

“Yea that’s fine.” Deuce responded. You nodded and went off to find Epel and Jack.

However once you got to their door, you saw Jack open it.

“So we meet at your room at 10:45?” He said awaiting your response.

“Yea… but what… how did you know..?”

“I guess it’s just my wolf senses…” after hearing that response you sighed… perhaps sooner or later you will have to explain to him not saying that in public… due to a certain *thing* called furries.

After returning into your room and awaiting the others, you thought about what would happen today.

You were sure that today would be hectic, but you were kinda excited. To be able to spend the day with your old best friends?! And this time at your world?! You couldn’t ask anything better! Hopefully though, no chaos ensures. (However you were sure it would happen… due to the nature of your friends.)

So as you await for the others… you couldn’t help but think how the others back at Twisted Wonderland are handling

right now, if you were correct it was…. 20 hours here so 10 hours back at Twisted wonderland, would they notice the group went missing…?

“Hey Sebek what was the time when you guys came back at TWST?”

“8:15 AM!”

…..

“What do you mean you can’t find Ace or Deuce?!” A certain red head almost yelled… this was the ?? Time they snuck out or don’t come back to the dorm this WHOLE school year. (Keep in mind it was the first semester.)

“It is off with their heads when they come back! And they even bother to skip classes!?”

The red head looked back at the light gray octopus.

“Well maybe if you could make a deal with me I’d actually help more.”

“What do you say Riddle?”

A pair of twins followed behind them, talking amongst themselves also wondering what could of happened.

As the front Twokept talking? Arguing about the missing 2nd years, and figuring out what the hell happened to them.

Soon they entered the mirror room (forgot what it’s called lmao) and where right in front of the mirror, still trying to figure out what happened before they suddenly were in a different place.

A dark entity watches from behind… smirking in amusement

“I can’t believe my plan is finally working… after waiting so long… I’ll finally be able to….”

They kept mumbling to themselves, smiling happily as they spun around casting spells all over the place, with a huge smirk placed on their face.

Hey guys! I’m so sorry a month has went by with no update I think I hit writers block! Anyway happy thanksgiving!! I hope you all have had a nice week! Also feel free to send in requests just no NSWF!!

(I really should make my rules lmao)

Tag list:

@twistedcece @nothingfuninthislife

@help-whatdoimakemyusername

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s0ulsniper · 5 months

Text

albert aretz x gn!reader

warnings: just pure fluff

ask: "Heyooo!! I'm just gonna request an Albert imagine, basically, after hehe gets done recording a video (at like 3 in the morning...) gn! Reader is sleeping and he lays down on their chest and reader wakes up like 2 hours later and sees him and it's all cute and stuff (you can add whatever you want at the end) And I love your writing btw it makes my day ‼️"

synopsis: albert finishes editing, and as exhausted as he is, he falls asleep on top of you.

pairings: albert aretz (flamingo) x gn!reader

a/n: hey hey anon! thanks for such a description, it rlly made it so much easier. also, thanks so much for the kind words it means a lot to me and I hope you have a great weekend !! hope u like it. :)

the late night hadn't gotten to albert the way it had gotten to you, he knew once you sent him a text 4 hours before that you were out like a light in your usual sprawled out from that took across majority of the bed. he loved you for it, yet sometimes he wished he had room.

he was almost finished recording a new horror game that his fans had been beginning for him to play. he understood why while he made it. not only was it a long story game, but it's probably one of the scariest he has seen on the platform.

not enough to scare him though, right?

he clicked out of his Roblox tab and powered off his computer once he stopped the recording, yawning with his arms outstretched.

he had been waiting on this moment for the entire night, finally getting to fall asleep with you even if you didn't notice until the morning. he loved having you with him despite majority of his time going towards creating content and interacting with his fanbase and friends.

he loved how you understood.

his door creaks open once he shuts off the lights, feeling the hours of sitting in his lower back. he knew this nights sleep would last until mid afternoon, potentially more.

his office door closes with a low click. he could see the nightlights poking from under the door, he knew you loved the type of lighting from the lampposts. he had never seen someone fall asleep so quickly.

he opens the door to your bedroom after washing himself up, prepping for the night. his tired eyes fall into your form.

words couldn't describe how beautiful he thought you are, especially now with the blankets barley wrapped over you, and your hair messy from tossing and turning.

he feels his lips tug upwards as he walks quietly towards the bed, prompting himself to collapse as gently as he could on top of you.

the best pillow in the world, he wouldn't choose anything else.

his light smile remained on his face as he drifted off into his comforting sleep, his arm draped over your waist and his head gently tucked under yours.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

your body forces you awake at around 5:00 am, cold from the lack of blanket covering your body.

as you snap back into reality you feel the blanket at your feet, reaching down to grab for it. in the midst of it, you're stopped.

there was a heavy weight on your chest, which was weird considering your cat was sleeping peacefully on your side.

you look down as much as you can and feel Albert's hair poking at your neck, him sprawled out on top of you looking as comfortable and as adorable as ever.

you use whatever strength in you not to burst into laughter at the sight and instead settle on pulling the warm cover onto of you.

albert shifts, and you feel his arm around your waist tighten, a sigh of content leaving his body.

you run your fingers through his hair, who cares about not being able to feel your arm? worth it.

you fall back into your dream filled sleep of whatever you were as before.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

🏷️: @batluvr666 @yeehawbrothers @dogdevourer @ilovelyyoungie

#albert aretz #flamingo #flamingo x reader #albert aretz x reader #albert x reader #x reader

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aalyssah · 1 year

Text

Wax Dress

Pairing: Vincent Sinclair x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Fluff!

Word Count: 1,196

Summary: Vincent has been secretive about going in the basement, but what do you see when you go down there?

A/N: I’ve been thinking about this for a while, so here I am! Hope You Enjoy!

For the past 1 week Vincent has been secretive. He’s been making sure you don’t come down to the basement and waking up extra early in the morning. It’s almost like he’s hiding something and you're willing to find out what it is.

Prior Week

It was a normal day in the Sinclair household. You are washing dishes for the upcoming dinner. Lester playing video games in the living room and screaming in pain from downstairs.

At this point you 're used to it. You finished your dish and began making a sandwich for the brothers after their hard work. You plated the food and went into the living room where Lester was.

“Hey Lest, I made you lunch.” He paused his game and began stuffing his face. “Thank you!” You laughed, shaking your head and moved onto the next.

You walked through the garage door and saw the legs of Bo from under a car. “Bo, I got you lunch.” Bo tried sitting up, somehow forgetting that he’s under a car. A loud bang was heard following a groan.

You gasped, putting the plates down and going to his aid. “Bo are you okay?” Bo grunted, rolling out and rubbing his head. “Yeah, what do you want?” You grabbed the plate and handed it to him. “Lunch.” He nodded his head which you took as a ‘thank you.’ And went to the last.

They do say save the best for last. You stood at the top of the stairs, sighing because you knew he wouldn’t let you in. “Vinny, baby! I made lunch!” You could only hear the noise of shuffling and things being moved around.

Soon the door opened showing Vincent blocking your way of seeing. “I made you lunch.” Vincent gave you a kiss on the cheek and went back down.” You sighed, shaking your head before going back to the kitchen. You didn’t know why he was acting like this, you were gonna find out soon because you had a plan.

The plan was to cook a nice yummy dinner, but add a little secret ingredient. You were gonna put a crushed up Nyquil in his food and since he goes to bed early (to get up and go back and work) you could go down and see what’s there.

You smirked at yourself, praising you in your mind. ‘Damn Y/n, why are you so smart!’ You began taking out pots and pan and getting the ingredients out for the food.

You ended up cooking Spaghetti, but now it was your time. It's time for your plan to come together. “Boys, dinner’s ready!” You took out the bottle of Nyquil and took out two pills.

You grabbed a nearby knife and before you could crush them someone’s footsteps were loud against the tile floor. “What’s that?!” Lester’s loud voice in your ear scared you, making you drop both whole pills in the food. “Shit! Lester!”

Lester backed up, smiling while taking his plate and running off. You didn’t have enough time to fix it when Bo and Vincent came in. Without knowing, you gave Bo the Nyquil plate and Vincent the normal one. You took your own and walked upstairs to the bedroom with Vincent.

He took his mask off and began eating. You tried to not make it obvious, but you were watching him eat. After every bite you would look up at him and see the same face expression. He even caught you a few times, but you just told him it was nothing.

You both finished and you ‘laid down for a nap’ while Vincent was ready to sleep. It was 3:46, but that’s how Vincent is. Going to sleep early so he can work all night. You and Vincent laid in bed together, ‘sleeping’ well at least one of you.

You waited a couple of minutes to where you could hear the light snores coming from Vincent beside you. He never snored, so maybe it’s the Nyquill working. You carefully snuck out his hold and walked in the living room.

You let out a breath you didn’t know that you were hiding. You thought for a moment. You needed a look out person and it definitely won’t be Lester. You walked to Bo’s room and knocked on his door. “Bo.”

You didn’t get any response, making you confused. “Bo?” You repeated, opening the door. He was face planted, asleep on his bed making you confused. He never goes to sleep, especially when he has a car to work in.

You shrugged your shoulders and went to the fun part.

The basement!

You opened the door and silently went down the stairs, making sure not to hit the ones that creaked until you reached the bottom. You looked around seeing a mess of everything. Wax spilled on the table and floor, human body parts laid out, and sandwiches.

The sandwiches that you’ve been making him for the last week! You noted yourself to yell at him after you looked around. Your feet took you around the large basement, looking at many things. It was until you got to a specific piece. It was covered with a sheet making you curious.

Why was this the only piece covered? Curiosity got the best of you and next thing you knew, you were pulling the sheet off. It revealed a beautiful purple dress that looked real, but you’ve seen the church to know it’s not.

You gasped, hands running down the hardened wax. It was beautiful. The way it felt was smooth, almost as if it was for a person. Hell, it looked like you could fit it. You were too caught up in the dress that you didn’t realize the loud footsteps of someone coming from the stairs.

All of a sudden, hands grabbed you back, throwing the cloth back on it. You gasped, finally turning around and seeing Vincent standing there. He was wide awake, but how?

“V-Vinny, baby, what are you doing up?” It then hit you. Bo is asleep when he never sleeps earlier, and Vincent is up. You must’ve given them the wrong plates. Damn you Lester!

Vincent shook his head, getting the nearby notepad and pencil off the desk. You watched as he wrote ‘I couldn’t find you, but it’s a shame I know where to look.’ You gave a small chuckle, nervous to what he has to say.

“It’s so pretty, who is it for?” You asked, referring to someone in the town, but what he did shocked you. He pointed at you. “Me?” Confusion was in your voice as you watched Vincent nod his head. “W-why?” You could see the slight blush on Vincent’s face as he wrote down something.

‘For our wedding.’ You teared up at that sentence. You instantly engulfed your big man in a hug. “Awe Vinny, I love you so much!” Vincent hugged you back smiling. You both pulled back, while looking at the dress.

“It’s cute and all, but how am I supposed to wear it if it’s a wax dress?”

Vincent shrugged his shoulders, but it didn’t matter. You’ll both figure it out when you get to that stage.

#vincent sinclair #vincent sinclair fluff #vincent sinclair imagine #vincent sinclair smut #vincent sinclair x reader #vincent sinclair x you #vincent sinclair fanfic #vincent sinclair house of wax #slasher fluff #slasher smut

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aninspiringwriter · 3 months

Text

Surprise Dates - Part 4

Summery: After a fun night with Raiden, he makes a suprise plan for a date.

Word count: 805

A/n: I have crawled out of the trenches of depression and finished writing pure fluff for you all

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3 (Smut)

The morning sun comes up, and you start to wake up as well. You slowly sit up in your bed, there is a small warmth within you as you turn to see Raiden still sleeping. Raiden's black hair perfectly presses up against the blueish pillow you have, his breath softly hits your arm. You wake Raiden up, by lightly nudging him awake.

Raiden's groans were louder than you expected them to be so early in the morning, "Oh, what time is it Y/n?" Raiden gets up while saying this in a grumpy tone. "I think it's around 6 am, maybe even 7." You say on response, then you turn your head to see the clock say 6:47. Raiden also looks at your clock, to see it is almost 6:50. He is practically leaning on you, his chin rests itself on your shoulder as his arm wraps around your waist. "Yesterday, I was gonna ask you something, but uh we got… Very distracted." Raiden says, then looks away. He was embarrassed that you and him had some fun last night, you chuckle but then get more and more curious. "Oh? You were gonna ask me something yesterday, what is it?" You ask curiously, your naked body leans against his naked body. Raiden's brown eyes look at you again before bluntly saying what he wants to say.

"A date, a nice little date." Raiden says, your smile brightly lights up the room. "A date? Where do you think we should go?" You ask him, not necessarily rejecting and in fact being very welcoming to the idea of a nice date.

"Maybe at Madame Bo or a nice simple picnic in one of the gardens around here." Raiden moves away from your naked body and is grabbing his clothes off the floor. He gets to his pants before walking towards your closet. Raiden hides his nice toned abs with his shirt.

"Why are you going inside my clo-" You get interrupted by a green shirt getting thrown at you, a nice light green shirt you even forgot you had. Along with a nice pair of flowing leggings that has blue spots near the waist and the ends of the leggings. "Oh… You have good clothing taste Raiden," you start to compliment him before saying more, "but can I get some underwear as well, my love?" You ask nicely, and Raiden compiles before looking confused. "Oh, right bottom drawer." You tell him bluntly where they are. Raiden finds them easily and gives you one of your laced ones. "How about a picnic at a garden near here, you pick the garden and I will get the stuff for it." Raiden says as he watches you with heart eyes as you get dressed. After you get fully dressed you think about the different gardens near here, then knows the right one. "Isn't there a garden near the bridge where the Sun Do festival is held?" You suggest as you go to Raiden, you start to hold his hand. Raiden's face shows he is in deep thought before nodding his head, a small beautiful smile runs through his face. "Perfect! I've always liked that garden anyways." You say, kissing his cheek. Raiden looks at you with those heart eyes of him that looks like a siren has him in a chokehold. "How about at noon?" Raiden asks you, playing with your hair. You nod yes, as you and him go to your door, you kiss his cheek and wave to him as he leaves.

Later, you put on a greenish-blue jacket and grab a blanket, a blanket with pink and orange flowers on it. You check the time and the time is 11:42, you start to panic, quickly putting on some socks and shoes and run out the door. It's 12:08 and you see Raiden, he was wearing a light purple robe and he looked nervous. "Sorry for being so late Raiden, I was procrastinating on what jacket to wear and what blanket to bring." You explain, Raiden smiles as he carries a basket filled with what smells like sweets and fruit, a bottle of what seems to be wine sticking out of the basket. You put down the blanket and Raiden puts down the basket and looks at you, and the way the noon sun glistens on your skin makes Raiden smile. "What did you bring?" You ask, as Raiden pulls out 2 plastic clear wine cups and the wine. "I stopped by our favorite dessert places and the local market for some sweets and fruit." Raiden says, pouring you and him the wine. Raiden grabs some strawberries and a small cherry cheesecake out of the basket. The date was sweet, like the food, and the way Raiden treated you like royalty made it sweeter.

#mk1 2023 #writers on tumblr #raiden #raiden x reader #mk1 #mk1 raiden #fluff #picnic dates #mk1 x you

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camywamycam · 11 months

Text

what was left behind in the rubble P.3

702 words

soon to be harry x reader

TW//WRITTEN AT 4 AM BY A SLEEP DEPRIVED TEEN!!!

A/N

I know this is a short chapter and im sorry 😭 I finished writing this at 4 am because I can only write at night since I'm with my mom and siblings all day and I refuse to write in front of them 😭 maybe it wasnt a good idea to start a full ass fanfic story with a plot 2 weeks before I leave for summer camp but yolo, ive decided im gonna have this fic go from the summer - hoggwarts and y/n will start acting a lot more like Sirius iykwim

y/ns pov

................

If you had been in the right mindset, you would have impatiently pushed Remus away the second he stepped foot into your room. However, at that moment, all you needed was a hug. You clung onto the soft fabric of his cable knit sweater, which carried the strong scent of chocolate, cigars, and parchment. Remus held you firmly in his arms, patiently waiting for you to feel comfortable enough to open up about your thoughts.

"I hate him," you said in a broken voice.

"You don't mean that," Remus replied, his uncertainty evident in his words. "He loves you, he just... doesn't know the right way to express himself, that's all."

"Well, he obviously doesn't have that problem with Potter," you spat, your voice tinged with envy. "When I traveled all the way to Europe to see my biological father, I was kind of hoping he wouldn't be a total dick."

Remus sat and listened attentively as you rambled, finally realizing how left out you had truly been. The other children never spoke to you, and neither did the adults, except for the usual greetings. The more he spoke to you, the more he learned about your experiences. He discovered that while you were neglected at Grimlands place, you had met a group of muggles who had welcomed you into their friend group so at least you hadn't been totally alone. In the mere 45 minutes of conversation, Remus had already learned more about you than your very own father.

You and Remus continued to chat throughout the night in the room which you had made your own. For the first time in a while when you woke up that morning you didn't feel absolutely terrible. you turned to your side and checked your phone notifications before getting ready for the day.

you tried to sprint down the stairs as quietly as possible knowing the other adults in the house wouldn't be so happy about you sneaking off to hang around strange people whom they knew nothing about. It was almost comical how much they tried to control you when you and they both knew they didn't care about you in the slightest. As you raced down the stairs you bumped into a pale boy with messy black hair and glasses that were a tad bit too large for his face. "black." he spat "potter." "and where do you think you are going?" he said sassily

harrys pov

....................

it was strange seeing y/n actually dressed. since none of the kids went outside we mostly stayed in our lounging clothes. I took note of y/ns red top, flared jeans, a jean jacket that was covered in patches, and Converse. She actually looked quite nice... but I would never admit that.

"out." that's all she said as she tried pushing past me. I grabbed a hold of her wrist "What's your problem? You've been acting rude ever since you got here. You could at least try to talk to your dad." she scoffed in my face "Oh I've tried. he's the one who doesn't want me here." "Maybe he would actually like you if you weren't such a bitch." I was shocked at the words falling from my mouth. did I say that out loud? my thoughts were confused as y/n turned around and punched me square in the nose. Adults rushed in as they heard me fall into a vase smashing it while holding my bloody nose. Mrs. Weasly scolded y/n “what on earth have you done!” she screamed at y/n but she just looked around with a red face and big eyes as she rushed towards the door slamming it shut, not that anyone cared.

"don't cry don't cry don't cry don't cry," you thought to yourself as you ran to your friends' house. luckily she asked no questions and just welcomed you in with open arms. you eventually told her what had happened at Grimmlands place and she was pissed. both her parents said you could stay with them as long as you needed. they even let you move into the guest room so you wouldn't have to continue sleeping on your friend's floor. you know that you can't stay here long since school is starting soon, but you might as well enjoy it while you can.

tag list

@moonys0chocolate @venomsvl @quackitysdrugdealer @superduckmilkshake

#Harry Potter #remus lupin x reader platonic #sirius black x daughter!reader #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter x reader #harry potter angst #poorly written fics

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beeloovedd · 15 days

Text

Ok ok enough polls here's the story 🫶

I loved you like the sun

Tw!: Weed mention, smoking,

Had this idea based on this song <3

Dew yawns as he lays on Rains chest

Rain hums quietly and Rain taps his finger on Dews shoulder to the beat of the song playing on the headphones they're sharing

They finished their last show on the tour a few hours ago and are now on their way back to the ministry

They just decided to drive through the night so they can get back faster

Everyone's already laying down in their bunks asleep on on their phones

Dew sighs quietly he hasn't gotten a good sleep most of the tour

Mountain tried making him tea at the hotel, Swiss has tried tiring him out at the hotel, he's tried sleeping pills, weed, music, everything

Everyone's tried everything to help but nothing

And Dew knows the reason why he can't sleep

Aether isn't on this part of the tour due to having to go to meetings for papa and other troubles that just happened to hit while they were supposed to go out

He loves phantom of course but it's just not the same

He loves being on tour and doing shows but he can't wait to get back and finally see Aether again

He gets snapped out of his thoughts as he hears Rain singing with the song quietly while slurring his words due to almost falling asleep

Eventually he falls asleep and Dews left as the only one awake

He closes his eyes then opens them again as his mind wanders and he remembers he left a pack of cigarettes on the counter

If they weren't driving he'd definitely step outside and smoke

He's had to do that a couple times while on this tour

He'd step out while everyone is asleep and lean on the tour bus or step out on the balcony or out of the hotel if they were at one while calling aether

Usually he'd just call to hear his voice or to look at the moon

Just knowing they were looking at the same moon but miles and states apart brought him comfort for some reason

He smiles as he thinks about it

Eventually he closes his eyes and gets a few hours of sleep untill they get to the ministry

Copia wakes up everyone and they unpack the most important things cause they'll get the rest tomorrow

When they do it's still dark and about 5 am

Dew looks at the pack of cigarettes from earlier and grabs them then gets his suitcase and bags to save the trouble in the morning and is one of the first ones to get in the ministry

As soon as he does he basically runs to the den, almost tripping over his feet and suitcase a few times

As soon as he sees it he takes a deep breath while still speed walking

And as soon as Aether opens the door dew throws his suitcase and bags to the side on the floor and throws himself into Aether arms

Aether smiles and hugs him back just as tight

"hi firefly" Aether says with a big smile resting on his face

Dew sniffles, he doesn't know why the tears form in his eyes but they do

Aether understands

He pets his hair before placing a gentle kiss his head

"I love you" Dew says, his voice breaking mid sentence

"I love you too" Aether says hugging him tightly

Then Dew releases from the hug and wipes his eyes as the others begin to walk in

They say hi and hug Aether then go to their rooms to sleep

Aether picks up Dews bags and suitcase for him and brings them to his room

Dew follows rubbing his eyes from the tears and sleepiness

The pack of cigarettes falls out of his pocket and Aether chuckles

"You gonna smoke or sleep first?" He asks, wanting dew to get sleep yet already knowing the answer since it's a normal routine for Dew to smoke before sleep

"smoke" Dew says as he gets the pack then grabs Aether's hand before dragging him out to the main part of the den

He opens the balcony door, stumbling a bit as he does

Aether laughs quietly and puts a hand on his shoulder to help stable him

They goes out on the balcony and lights it then takes a deep drag, letting the smoke fill his lunges before exhaling with a sigh as he lays his head on Aether's shoulder

Aether runs his hand up and down Dew's back

They talk for a while and by the end of it Dew's laughing and smiling

Then their conversation gets cut off by the sunrise

"look" Aether says

The sunrise bleeds into the dark night sky, slowly turning the sky into an orange and yellow

Aether hugs dew closer and smiles

Dew smiles he puts his cigarette out then looks up at Aether before grabbing his hand and pulling him down

He cups his face and kisses him deeply

All of the emotions from the tour spill out into the kiss and by the end of it the sunrise gets brighter and warmer

This is what they missed

Eachother

🫶

#dewdrop ghoul #aether ghoul #Spotify

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i-love-my-boyfriend · 1 year

Text

road trip.

we pass by the countless semi trucks, hills, farms. etc. the car is filled with silence as his dad is focused on the road, his mom and brother asleep.

"hey, are we almost there yet?" he spoke out loudly.

his brother, twitches in his sleep, almost reacting to what he said before he slowly woke up.

"mmmm?" he rubs his eyes and looks out the window. "hey yeah, are we almost there? i'm getting kinda hungry."

for an older brother, he acts pretty immature. more immature than your own younger brother. but who am i to judge?

his dad, looking at the rearview mirror to look back at the two says "yup, give or take uhhhh 20 more minutes."

i mentally smack myself in the face. it feels like we've been on the road, in this car, on this not so comfortable seat, for hoursssssss.

they both groan but their dad doesn't say anything back, his focus back on the road again.

why not pass the time by sleeping??

i try to get comfortable, crossing my arms and wiggling around to find a comfortable ish position.

i wake up to the feeling of someone shaking me. i slowly open my eyes, wincing at the sunlight coming from the windows. i look around and ask "where are we?" a voice comes from behind me saying "we're at the hotel." i recogonize that voice. that's his voice.

i get up quickly from whatever or whoever i was laying on. he smiles at me and says good morning. i feel heat creeping up onto my face. i just hope that it isn't noticeable.

"omg i am so sorry. i didn't realize i slept on u." i try to get myself together.

"oh no you're fine! just ask next time." he gives me that god damn smile, that smile that makes me heart and soul turn to mush and my brain stop. he gets out the car stretching his legs and i follow behind him.

i walk to the back where the trunk is. "hey thanks again mrs. [his last name]. i really appreciate u bringing me along on this trip."

his mom speaks up, turning to me. "of course! you and [his name] have been friends since you were in your diapers. you are just such a nice friend to him. you guys are just so cute! why wouldn't i bring you along?" she finishes the conversation, turning back to the now open trunk, taking all the luggage out.

cute? what does she mean cute? is she complimenting me? him? us?

i try to shake the thoughts away as i get my luggage. i'm walking next to his brother, staring at the floor. don't wanna trip on anything!

"you know," i hear him speak up, snapping out of my daze and looking in the direction of who's talking. "you and my brother are actually cute. i heard you and my mom talking earlier. you guys hang out with each other often and to be honest, lowkey act like you guys are dating. i remember this one time my mom asked me if he was dating you."

i blink at him. "what? we're friends. purely that. nothing more, nothing less. plus, i am almost certain he likes this one girl. he always talks about her. still don't know who but after multiple times he has described her, i'm sure it's this one girl in history."

he shrugs, turning his face forward. "i guess yeah. but you know, you never see what's going on in the inside, someone always sees it from the outside."

okay whatever that means. anyways, we walk into the hotel and it was something out of a movie. i don't travel far or long enough to stay in a hotel so being able to stay in a gorgeous hotel. best thing i think could ever happen to me.

his dad walks up to the front desk. "hello! welcome to our hotel. how may i assist you?" the front desk lady says.

"hi, i made a reservation for 4 days, 3 nights under the name [name]." clicks and clacks can be heard as she tries to find the room. "oh yes mr. [name]. i shall give you your keys. your room number is 402 on the 4th floor." she hands him 4 keys for all of us to have. "great thank you."

he turns to us, lecturing about how we can't lose this key or whatever.

"also, i know you guys were gonna complain about privacy or something so in our hotel room, there are two separate rooms. you'll see when we get there."

we drag our suitcases behind us, the noise echoing against the hallway as we get to the elevator. we get in and i'm the last one. i press the button since i'm the closest, looking out as the door closes. i look around the elevator, an awkward silence filling the air as we all wait for the-

ding.

the door opens out to another hallway filled with countless rooms. since our room is 402, it doesn't take long for us to get there. his dad uses his key to open the door to our new home for the incoming couple days.

he opens the door, everybody holding it for the next person to enter. [his name] is the last to enter, closing the door carefully as to not disturb the other guests.

"lemme show you kids what i was talking about earlier." he motions for [his name], his brother and me to follow him to a section in the room. i looked around the hotel room, observing what it looks like. definitely a bit dated but otherwise, not bad!

we all stop walking as his dad opens the door, leading to what seems like another hotel room, except it not being so big.

"me and your mom decided that since you guys are old enough and are angsty teenagers, we decided to let you have your privacy from me and your mother." his dad looks at me. "we trust you [your name] to keep these boys in check. you know how dirty their rooms can get."

his older brother speaks up immediatly after he says that. "hey, i'm older than both of them. why aren't i in charge?" he crosses his arms as he waits for his answer. "you always have clothes scattered along your floor in your room and when it comes to night, your really loud. what are you doing anyways, playing video games? i'm sure [your name] is much more tidy than both of you."

to be honest, you can be. at certain times. you can have a messy room, messier than what how his dad described [his older brother's name]. but you clean up after a week of leaving your room in a disaster.

"uh sure! you can trust me sir, i shall keep them in check." i jokingly put my hand up into a salute.

all three of us walk in as his dad leaves to go their mom. we look around and see two beds, a nightstand with a lamp in between the two, one dresser with a tv and a door against the wall, presumably the bathroom.

he speaks up as soon as we finish looking around. "wait dad, there's only two beds?" he looks back in the direction his dad walked in. his dad's head pops up from the wall, saying "oh yeah. you kids can share a bed."

he walks off because it's not a big deal. you three have known each other since birth probably. one problem however. i have a crush on [his name] and didn't notice until maybe a year ago. it's hard to keep it a secret since we all hang out a lot. i told my mom and based on his mom's comment earlier this afternoon, i'm pretty sure my mom told his mom.

i put my somewhere in the room, laying it down. i start unpacking and soon after, the boys start doing what i'm doing.

as we all do that, his brother says "just so you know [your name], i'm gonna have a bed all for myself. i don't feel like sharing, sorry not sorry." i look up at him, stopping what i'm doing. he has a playful smirk on his stupid face.

are u serious? don't tell me what this is what you're doing.

i try to respond but i'm truly at a loss of words. his comment about me and [his name]'s questionable friendship from earlier replays in my head. does he know? i mean if he didn't why else wouldnt he share a bed with his own brother?

heat rushes up to my face. i try not to think of the worse. "ugh, seriously? i don't wanna sleep in a bed with her?" "nah, i'm good." "uhh, i'd rather not."

all these awful scenarios fill my head but are interrupted be an all familiar voice.

"oh okay yeah that's fine. is that fine with you [your name]?" he looks at you with a smile. if you squint, you would see a slight hue of pink and red across his cheeks.

i stutter out "oh um yeah sure!" i try to push the heat that's making its way up my neck then to my face, down.

i carry my clothes and other belongings to one of the three drawers in the dresser, except for a pair of pajamas.

i go towards the bathroom but turn aroumd to both [his name] and his brother. "hey i'm gonna go put my pajamas on. i'll be back." i turn back around.

after i put my pajamas on, i open the door then closing it behind me. i look up to see that [his brother's name] his smiling and [his name] has his head in his hands, looking red from the parts of his face that aren't covered by his hands.

i stop walking and ask "did i miss something? what's wrong with him?" talking about [his name].

his brother responds "oh nothing. don't worry about it." once he responds, [his name] looks calm enough now to take his head out of his hands.

"uhh oooohhhh okay then." i go on my phone and get into the left side of the bed me and [his name] are sharing.

he abruptly gets up from the chair he was sitting on, goes to the dresser and picks out pajamas. "i'll be back." he walks to the bathroom and shuts the door. i look at his brother and he's just on his phone, as if what happened between his brother and him never happened.

i shrug it off. i don't want to make a big deal out of something that probably isn't anyways.

later on in the night, we're all in our pajamas. the door between our room and their parent's room is mostly closed, a small crack keeping it open. [his brother's name] is long gone and deep in sleep. didn't realize he was a loud snorer. wouldn't have agreed to this trip if i knew. my yawns starting to get more and more intense so i get up and turn the lights off as it's been a long day of getting here.

i'm on the verge of getting to dreamland when i feel a body touch my back ever so slightly. i jump slightly at the contact, relaxing as soon as i realize who it is.

"hey [your name]. i know you like me. my brother told me earlier when you were changing."

oh. my. god. there is no way this is happening. right now.

"oh did he?" i laugh awkwardly. i pinch myself in the arm under the sheets in hopes of his being a weird dream. or nightmare?

nope. definitely not a dream.

"yeah he did. and i like you too." he cuddles my body, his voice barely a whisper in hopes of no else hearing this.

i turn around at the comment. looking at his face. although it's dark, i desperately try to search his face for any signs of joking, lying, anything of that sort. all i see is the truth and if i were to squint hard enough, love.

"[your name]. i like you so much. i have for a long time now actually. i know this probably is a weird time but would you like to be my girlfriend?"

all the snoring, the ac running in the back, seems to have disappeared.

"are you serious? i would love to be your girlfriend!" i shuffle in my bed, trying to contain my excitement. i hug him and he lets out a sigh of relief and lowly chuckles.

"you have no idea how happy that makes me. how happy you make me."

i smile so much, it hurts.

"me too. but it's late. can we go to bed?"

he smiles. "of course sweetheart. goodnight."

i turn back around and he cuddles my body once again.

i'll kill his brother tomorrow but right now, i want to savor this moment.

author note: hello everybody! i hope you liked this little fic. it was not proofread so there may be mistakes. if there are ways i can improve my writing, do not hesitate to let me know! love you all and hope you have a wonderful day. :)

#love scenarios #romance #friends to lovers #crush x y/n #reader x crush #crush imagines #fictional crushes #one bed trope #no fandom #reader insert #gender neutral reader #relationship #x reader #fluff

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jaelvr · 3 months

Text

Cupid ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

Prompt list two!!

Home | Prompt Collection

I’m taking requests!

Respond to this with a member and number(s) and I’ll write an imagine for it!!

FLUFF -

1. “what are you do-” “look, now we match!” ( used here )

2. “You’re cleaning this up, right? Since this was your idea.”

3. “Feeling better?” “It feels like I’ve been slapped but on the inside.” “So…no?" ( used here )

4. "I don’t think either of us are qualified for this but sure, go for it.”

5. “Shh- that’s just what you think.” “No, I’m pretty sure that’s what I know.”

6. “and why would I do this for you?” “Because you love me.” “Not enough- fine.”

7. “Who let you look so cute today?”

8. “Can we wait a second? I wanna take a picture of you right now.”

9. “I think I’m gonna fail this test-” “It’s okay, you pass in my heart.” “That means nothing.”

10. “Am I your favourite?” “I like your dog a bit more than you, I won’t lie." ( used here )

11. “This is unfair.” “I can’t help the fact you’re terrible at Mario kart."

12. "since we’re dating, does that mean I can hold your hand whenever I want?”

13. “I’ve been looking for my hoodie-” “my hoodie, you mean.”

14. “I’ve always wanted to come here with you.”

15. “this song reminds me of you.” ( used here )

16. “as much as I love food, I’m giving you the last piece just this once.”

17. “you’re cold?” “no? it’s super sunny right now-” “take my jacket anyway.”

18. “oh no, my head, it’s falling conveniently onto your shoulder!”

19. “shut up and kiss me already.”

20. “i’ve waited for so long just to say that to you.”

21. “your hands are colder than the one time I lost a bet and I had to stick my hand into the snow for five minutes.”

22. “you seem like you want ice cream.”

23. “mcDonald’s is open, wanna go get some chicken nuggets?” “it’s 3 in the morning.” “and?” “let’s go.”

24. “you love me?” “i always have.”

25. “what’s that even supposed to be?” “it’s a drawing of you, idiot.”

26. “here comes the airplane!” “i can feed myself.” “too bad.”

27. “it’s a 4000 piece puzzle and you’ve finished maybe 100 pieces max. and how long have you been doing this?”

28. “i know it’s not the best but-” “i love it.”

29. “i can hear your heartbeat- why is it going so fast all of a sudden?” ( used here )

30. “I remember the first time we met.”

31.“I know it’s your favorite.” ( used here )

32. “Everything okay? You don’t seem like yourself.”

33. “Let me get that for you.” ( used here )

34. “I’m here to listen.”

35. “Let’s go out. Just the two of us.”

36. “I don’t have to ask, I know.”

37. “Fine, you can use me as a pillow.”

38. “Well, I don’t, but you do.”

39. “I did it for you.”

40. “No one’s ever done this for me before…”

41. “Only you can call me that.” ( used here )

42. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

43. “It’ll take more than that to get rid of me.”

44. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?”

45. “We’ll get through this together.” ( used here )

46. “Don’t worry, I knew what you meant.”

47. “I’m not going anywhere.”

48. “You shouldn’t see that jerk anymore. I’m worried you’ll get hurt.”

49. “Wherever you are, that’s where my home is."

50. “Look who’s under the mistletoe!”

51. “i want to spend the day with you doing nothing.”

52. “i saw something today that reminded me of you.” ( used here )

53. “you bought me flowers?” ( used here )

54. “i never thought i’d feel this kind of happiness.”

55. “i still dream about you even though you’re mine.”

56. “where’s my goodnight kiss?”

57. “can you read to me?”

58. “i feel safe with you.”

59. “you can stay as long as you want.” ( used here )

60. “my love for you only grows with each passing second.”

61. “a man could hold the weight of worlds, but he could never carry the love i have for you.”

62. “you know, even if you left me, i’d still be yours.”

63. “i have so much love for you i almost don’t know what to do with it.”

64. “i’m falling in love with you.” ( used here )

65. “we’ll never get to sleep if you keep fidgeting like that.”

66. “kiss me harder.”

67. “no, don’t stop. i like the sound of your voice.” ( used here )

68. “you’re so cool.”

69. “you’re with me always.”

70. “i’d never turn down a kiss from you.”

ANGST -

71. “you didn’t just break my heart, you broke my trust.”

72. “i’ve waited a thousand hours to tell you exactly how i feel, but you don’t deserve an explanation.”

73. “i don’t have the energy to fight you anymore.”

74. “take what you want from me and just leave already.”

75. “i’m not ready to live without you.”

76. “i let you in, you and your poison, and now i’m no good.”

77. “you feel further away from me now than when you were a stranger.”

78. “i don’t forgive you.”

79. “let me go.”

80. “it doesn’t matter how good the dream is, we always wake up.”

81. “you can’t be bitter now, this was your decision.”

82. “i lost myself the day i lost you.”

83. “i wish i could love you, i know you’d be good for me, but i can’t.”

84. “please don’t make me go, i want to stay.”

85. “the sad thing is, i’d do it all over again even for the same outcome.”

86. “you said you’d follow me anywhere” — “you know i can’t follow you there.”

87. “you’re the only mistake i don’t regret, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t a mistake.”

88. “you didn’t deserve me.”

89. “i loved you, you used me.”

90. “i’m allowed to move on.”

91. “i still wanted to believe that you are a good person after everything you’ve done to me. ”

92. “ you gave me another chance to be a new person again, but you didn’t seem to trust me enough. ”

93. “ why did you betray / leave me ? ”

94. “my heart desired for your love then. ”

95. “ why did you love me now ? ”

96. “ i have given you all my love but you threw them away like it was nothing. ”

97. “ now you want me like i wanted you ? ”

98. “ you’re wasting my time. ”

99. “ i just wish that we both had the same feeling back then. ”

100. “ we still can fix this, but we can’t be together again. "

101. ” i regret meeting you. “

102. ” thanks for the trauma, by the way. “

103. ” it’s best for us to be strangers again. “

104. ” maybe there’s another universe where we have a happy ending we’ve always wanted. “

105. ” i hope to never see you again. “

106. ” i’ve seen the way you look at them, if they are the one, then leave. be with your true soulmate. “

107. "what am i to you truly ? a puppet to be used to get what you want? ”

108. “ what am i to you truly ? ”

109. “you manipulated me into believing your bullshits ! ”

110. “i don’t care if you need me, it’s your own fault for breaking our relationship. ”

111. “ why should i trust you again ? ”

112. “ we can’t go back like we used to, take a look what happened to us now. ”

113. “our relationship / friendship ends now. ”

114. “we were never meant be. ”

115. “of all people, why it should be you who hurt me ? ”

116. “I believe in you. I always have. Maybe that’s my fatal flaw.”

117. “I never forgot you. I couldn’t.”

118. . “After everything, how could you not trust me?”

119. “ I wanted this to end differently. ”

120. “There was only one way this could go.”

121. “I miss you, more than I thought possible.”

122. “I thought you loved me.”

123. “There was an accident, They’re in the hospital.”

124. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry.”

125. “I forgot you were like this.”

126. “ Do you think you could ever forgive me?”

127. “ It’s my fault that this happened. ”

128. “If you go through with this, you’ll be giving up everything you’ve ever known.”

129. “If I remember correctly, you never came for me.”

130. “I thought you left.”

131. “You left me.”

132. “I know you’re there, open the door.”

133. “I wanted to tell you I’m sorry.”

134. “Stop holding back, I can take it.”

135. “This wasn’t how it was supposed to go.”

136. “They are still in surgery, no updates.”

137. “ It was an accident, I swear.”

138. “I tried calling you. A few times actually.”

139. “I need to do this, why can’t you see that?”

140. “When will you let this go?”

141. “Everything I’ve done has been for you.”

142. “You were my best friend.”

143. “Why can’t you just listen to me?”

144. “Please, just let me forget you.”

ENEMIES TO LOVERS -

145. “i know that you are my enemy , but you have intoxicated me into falling in love with you .”

146. “you’re the first person who is vulnerable enough to make me impossibly weak .”

147. “will i ever regret my own choice for loving you instead of killing you ?”

148. “forget who we are , let’s make our new life together .”

149. “at first you were the hell that you gave me , until you become my heaven .”

150. “ I’ll try my best to deserve you .”

151. “i seek for peace , until i found you .”

152. “tell me , why does my own enemy could make feel safe ?”

153. “though you are dangerous , you are also capable of love .”

154. “my hands have stained with bloods and violence , yet you choose to hold them like a precious thing .”

155. “ i’ve hurt you , why would you seek love and warmth in me ?”

156. “i’d rather die in your arms than being stabbed by you .”

157. “curse me with your love , darling .”

158.“what did you do to me to make me fall in love with you ?”

159. “ you’re so pure and innocent , and i am scared to hold you and break you into pieces .”

160. “losing you is my worst nightmare .”

161. “i’m sorry for hurting you .”

162. “be in my dreams to replace the nightmares you have given me .”

163. “why do you want me of all people ?”

164. “i can’t help myself from falling in love with you .”

165. “let’s have a peaceful life , shall we ?”

166. “i shouldn’t have given you the scar , i hate it so much .”

167. “be happy with me .”

168. “ i’ve always hated your smile , but as i keep seeing you smile , i begin to admire them .”

169. “god really gives me a soulmate in a possible way , doesn’t he ?”

170. “i’m grateful to have you as my enemy .”

171. “i feel calm when i am with you .” ( used here )

172. “ teach me how to love , so i won’t hurt you .”

173. “all i knew in my life: love is a weakness . then you came into my life , making me stronger not to lose you .”

174. “every second i have spent with you , i’ll treasure them to remember you .”

175 .“ you don’t have any idea how much i love you .” ( used here )

176. “there are many reasons why i hate about you , but those reasons turn into something why i love you .”

177. “we were destined to be enemies , so we could fight against each other until we tire ourselves and find many reasons why we should stop and forgive each other .”

178. “i forgive you , despite the hell you have put me through .”

179. “let us move forward into something new .”

180. “i should’ve let you die , but i chose to protect you .”

181. “sit , and let me tell you the reasons why am i falling in love with you .” ( used here )

182. “it’s impossible , isn’t it ? how two enemies can have feelings for each other ?”

183. “ let me protect you instead of fighting against you .”

184. “each day i am always worried something dangerous might happen to you , but i am the danger , aren’t i ?”

Enjoy !! <3

- Mars

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