#it’s harder when it’s online and when you’ve never been in person with each other

[feelbokkie]

📱Distancing yourself from BF!SKZ after receiving hate 📱 (Part 2) (Maknae Line)

☀️Feelbokkie M.list☀️

genre: heavy angst, hurt/comfort

pov: 1st & 2nd person

description: Your boyfriend finds out why you've been distancing yourself (Half smau, half written) (I am so very sorry)

pairing: bf!skz & fem!reader

warnings: swearing, break up, mention of self harm, lots of tears, let me know if I missed anything

word count: listed below

screenshot count: 4

©feelbokkie (2023) — all rights reserved. reposting/modification of any kind is not tolerated.

Part 1

Part 2 (Hyung Line)

한 지 성 (Han Ji-Sung) (868 words)

“Jisung, you’re going to burn a hole in our floor,” Changbin calls from the kitchen. 

“Don’t mind him, he’s just going through Y/N withdrawals,” Hyunjin explains, not looking up from his latest art project. 

“You saw her yesterday,” Chan says, walking into the living room. 

You two did see each other yesterday when you went to bring him lunch at the company. It was only a brief interaction, you had to get back to work, but it was enough to make Jisung miss you. Which is why he wants nothing more than to spend today with you. 

“Somethings wrong, I can feel it. She called me Jisung.” 

“That’s literally your name!” Changbin yelled, throwing his hands in the air. 

“No, you don’t get it,” Jisung finally stops pacing and throws himself on the couch. “The only times she uses my first name is when she’s annoyed with me or mad at me. She’s been calling me jagiya, jagi, Sungie, or some other nickname our entire relationship.” 

“Did you miss an anniversary or something? Is that why she was she brought you lunch yesterday?” Chan questioned, determined to calm his youngest roommate’s nerves. 

“That’s what I’m trying to figure out but yesterday was just a day!” Jisung cried. 

“Fans were camping outside the studio yesterday, maybe one of them said something,” Hyunjin says without thinking. 

Had one of his fans said something to you? Jisung never wanted to make your relationship public, and this is exactly why. Everything was fine until a picture of you leaving his dorm wearing his shirt was posted online. The company gave them 2 choices: confirm the relationship or break up and deny the allegations. Breaking up was not an option. You had been good at avoiding hate comments, but neither of you had anticipated someone saying something to your face. 

“I’ll be back!” Jisung shouts before running out. 

***

“I completely understand if you want to break up with me.” Jisung wraps me in a hug as soon as I opened the door. 

“Sungie, what? Why would I want to break up with you? What did you do?” A heavy weight settles in my stomach. Did he cheat? 

Jisung lets go of me and looks me in the eyes. A sad smile creeps on his face as he places his hand on my cheek, thumb swiping just under my eye. 

“You’ve been crying.”

After yesterday’s encounter with the fans in front of the JYPE building, I fell down a rabbit hole of hate comments. If a stranger was comfortable saying that Jisung was settling with me and calling me names to my face, I had to know what was being said online. I couldn’t be blindsided like that again. But reading all those hate comments that spanned the entire time Jisung and I have been public with our relationship fucked with my anxiety. 

“I was watching a sad movie.” I force a smile.

“You don’t have to lie for me, jagi. I know you’re hurting.” Tears start falling down my face again. I don’t know how he knows, but I’m glad he does.

Ji takes my hand and leads me to my couch. He wraps me in a hug again and rubs slow circles on my back. His kindness only makes me cry harder, sobbing into his neck.

“It’s all so h-h-horrible. I didn’t do anything to anyone. I don’t know how you do it, Ji.” I whisper.

“Listen to this idiot. Crying about getting hate comments and worrying about me.” He coos.

“I’m serious, Jisung,” I pull away from him, “You’ve been dealing with this for years. You get hate but I’ve never seen it bring you down. I read hate comments for one day and I’m falling apart. And you’ve been working late all week and here you are comforting me. They’re right, I don’t deserve you.”

“Don’t think that, ever again. How many people are in this relationship? How do they know anything about you or me? There is nothing wrong with falling apart every once in a while. I would be more worried if the hate didn’t get to you. I’ve seen you cry because a baby didn’t wave back at you. And the hate does get to me, but spending time with you remedies that. You’re always there for me, even when I’m having a panic attack in the middle of the night. You always take care of me. Bringing me food at the company. Waiting up late to talk to me after a concert. Just dealing with me in general, I know I can be a bit much sometimes. If anything, I don’t deserve you.” 

“Sungie—”

“What do I have to do to make you happy again? Show me the comments. I will talk to every person who has anything mean to say about you.” 

“You’re the least confrontational person I know.”

“I’ll do anything for you, you know that.”

“I know, and that’s why I love you.”

“I love you too. But you know I can’t sit here quietly while you’re suffering.”

“Can we deal with it later? I kinda wanna think about something else right now.”

“My offer for a movie marathon still stands.”

“Perfect.”

이 용 복 (Lee Felix Yong-Bok) (886 words)

Felix had been scrolling on TikTok waiting for you to reply when he saw a video of “fans” bragging about DMing you hate. He quickly found out that it was a new trend that fans had taken over to send hate to the partners of various celebrities. He saw that you were the subject of quite a few videos.

Doing some quick math in his head, he figured that your behavior changed around the same time the first video was made.

“Fuck…” he mumbled as he scrambled to get to your apartment.

***

I blink through the tears as Felix slowly shuts my laptop and moves it out of the way. He crawls in between my legs and wraps his arms around my waist, burying his face into my stomach. I didn’t hear him come in, let alone know he was coming over. I put my phone away to try to give myself a break from reading hate comments. I was planning on watching some movies on my laptop to try to get some sleep but I got sucked back in when I saw a new tweet about me.

“Why didn’t you come to me? Why are you doing this to yourself?” Felix mumbles, turning his head so I can hear him better.

“I didn’t think it would get to me,” I whisper, stroking his hair.

“Y/N…” He finally lifts his head and looks at me with his tearful eyes. He has never liked seeing me in pain.

I don’t know how they found my social media. Everything is private. My usernames have nothing to do with my name and my profile pictures don’t show my face. I changed all that when I started dating Felix to avoid this exact situation. As an extra precaution, I don’t follow any of the Stray Kids social media accounts and I try not to engage with anything related to them. I used to get bullied in school and I didn’t want to go through that again, it put me in such a dark place. It made me someone that Felix never met. Someone that I didn’t want him to meet.

“I-I-I wasn’t going to read anything but once I started, I couldn’t stop.” My head falls into my hands and let out a choked sob.

“It’s okay, let it all out.” Felix sits up and wraps me in his arms, gently stroking my hair.

We sit like that for what felt like an hour but was probably only 20 minutes. Felix finally separates from me. I feel his hands wrap around my wrist and pull my hands from my face. My face twitches from Felix touching my right wrist. I watch as his face twist in confusion before he looks down at his hands.

“Lix, don’t…” I try to stop him before he rolls up the sleeves of my sweatshirt but fail, too tired mentally and physically to actually stop him. I turn my head before I can see the hurt in his eyes. The bed rises slightly as Felix gets up. It feels so much colder in my dark room. I squint my eyes as the light turns on and Felix makes his way back on the bed. He sets my first aid kit in between us and opens it up.

“Felix you don’t have to—”

“Y/N, just let me take care of you for once. Please?” He breathes, not looking me in the eyes. I bite my lip as he cleans the fresh wounds on my right wrist. He works quickly yet softly. Once he’s done, he checks my left wrist only to be met with old scars, mementos of how I used to be.

“Why?” He asks, stroking my left wrist.

“Old habits are hard to get rid of I guess.” I chuckle. Felix is not amused. The scars are new to him. I’ve always worn bracelets or long sleeves to cover them up. In the past, they were a relationship deal-breaker for many guys. And if they didn’t run, they treated me like a fragile doll. Being with Felix made me happy to be in a relationship with someone who wasn’t walking on eggshells.

“I’m serious. And why didn’t you come to me when all this started?” I finally look him in the eyes. They’re red but finally dry.

“I thought I could take care of it myself. I’m not who I was when I was in high school. Or, at least I thought I wasn’t. But it got so bad so fast and I found myself falling into old habits. I didn’t want you to see that side of me. I would understand if you want to break up with me now that you have.”

“I’m not going to break up with you. I get it. And I’ll take care of the comments. I don’t want you to feel like this, ever again. I want you to come to me more.” He takes my hand to his mouth and kisses it.

“I can work on that. I will work on it.”

“I will work on dealing with the hate, I promise. And in the meantime, I’m confiscating your laptop and phone. You need a break from reading about yourself. I’ll order something for us to each and we can talk some more, okay?”

김 승 민 (Kim Seung-Min) (980 words)

“What’s wrong, Min?” Minho asked the younger boy who wandered into the kitchen for the 5th time in 10 minutes.

“Nothing’s wrong,” He grumbles.

“Are you fighting with Y/N?” He asks, tossing a cheese stick and bottle of water at him. Both hit him and fall to the floor.

“She would have to actually talk to me for there to be a fight.” He sighs, picking up the food from the floor and joining Minho at the table.

“You know, I’ve noticed that you two are really similar. You push people away when you’re upset, she might just be the same way.”

“Yeah, but you guys always figure out why I’m upset and cheer me up. I have no idea what’s bothering her.”

“Are you sure about that?”

Seungmin thought about your behavior over the past couple of weeks. Nothing stands out to him. You two had gone on a couple of dates and you seemed happy. There are no anniversaries or major events that he had missed. You have been spending more time reading on your phone. One time he woke up in the middle of the night to find you reading something on your phone. He thought nothing of it as he grabbed your phone and put it on his side of the bed to force you to sleep. He thought that your quiet sniffling was because you were cold. But you could have been crying. About what?

“Aw shit,” He mutters when figures out what happened.

***

“Go home, Seungmin!” I shout through the door. He used to have a key to my apartment, but in a freak accident, it broke in the lock. With everything, I had yet to make him a new copy. 

“Y/N, if you don’t let me in, I’ll scream.” I wait a few seconds, wanting to call his bluff, but I don’t want to take the chance that he’ll actually do it. My neighbors will call the police if he did. That’ll be a fun news day on dispatch.

I open the door and pull him in before he could cause a scene.

“You’re worse than Jisung, you know that right?” I quip, shutting the door behind us.

“Jisung hyung wouldn’t have given you a warning.” He smirks.

“What are you doing here? I told you that I don’t want to do this right now.” I cross my arms and head to my room.

“We don’t have to. I just want to see you. I miss you.”

“I miss you too, but I told you I’m busy.” His eyes trail my body and he scoffs.

“You look like you just woke up. Your hair is a mess and you’re still in your PJs.”

“I’ve been up all day actually.”

“Then you look like you need a break. Let’s take a nap.” Seungmin lays down on my bed and pulls me down with him. He wraps his arm around me and pins me to his chest. I try to get up but his steady heartbeat and scent calm me down. I haven’t been sleeping well for the past couple of weeks. The familiarity of Seungmin quickly lulls me into a deep sleep.

“Let’s break up.” Seungmin whispers as I slowly open my eyes.

“What?” I shoot up and look at Seungmin.

“Being with me is only causing you pain. It’s the only thing I can think of to give you some peace.” His eyes are red like he’s been crying. He must have figured out why I’ve been avoiding him and he couldn’t help but spiral.

“Seungmin, I know I pushed you away, but I don’t want you to leave. None of this is your fault, so stop blaming yourself. How is us breaking up fair?” He finally sits up.

“I never said it was fair. It’s a solution. Can you honestly tell me that you haven’t thought about it?”

He’s right, I did think about how breaking up would put an end to all of this. Only for a moment before I thought about how miserable both of us would be. How I would miss waking up to his sweet smile. The delirious long-distance calls we would have while he was on tour. How he would complain about me cuddling up next to him and whine when I tried to get up. His scent. His voice. Him.

“I’ll deal with it. I’ve been dealing with it because I want to be with you. You’re worth it. I just need a little time to adjust.” I place my hand on his and gently rub my thumb back and forth.

“It’s not worth it.”

“But you are.” I smile softly.

“No, I’m not,” His smile drops.

“Yes, you are,”

“I promise you I’m not.” I kiss him quickly.

“I promise you that you are. If I don’t engage— if I don’t let them see how they’re getting to me, they’ll get bored and stop.”

“If that’s your plan, then why have you been avoiding me?”

“Because I know that seeing me upset makes you upset. I didn’t want you going off on Stay and getting in trouble.”

“You’re literally going through a psychological hell and you’re still trying to take care of me.” He laughs.

“You would do the same for me. You already have. I know you’ve been hiding those comments from me the entire time we’ve been together. Reading those comments about me couldn’t have been good for you either. I know I get super depressed when I read hate comments about you.” I figured out he had taken my phone at some point before our relationship went public and muted any mentions of my name so I wouldn’t see any hate comments. He really thought ahead.

“God, I love you.”

“I love you too. Since you’re here, can we order food and start that drama Jisung recommended?”

“Whatever you want.”

양 정 인 (Yang Jeong-In) (780 words)

Jeongin knew that you were receiving hate. It was only natural in this situation. Some “fans” were bold enough to bring signs to concerts telling him to leave you for them or make comments at fan signs. As far as he knew, you didn’t read anything. If you did, you never let on.

But lately, you’ve been down and he wasn’t sure why. It wasn’t family or work, you always came to him to vent if something happened. It wasn’t anything he had done, you’d freeze him out for a couple of hours before confronting him about it. And you wouldn’t miss watching a movie with your favorite actor, even if you were mad at him. That much he knew. The only logical explanation is that the hate was finally getting to you.

He spent the whole journey to your apartment talking to Chan to get some advice on what to do.

***

I felt bad for forgetting about the movie. Innie’s right, I had been talking about it for months. But the idea of leaving the house right now is dreadful. 

A few pictures of me, taken without my knowledge, have ended up online over the past few weeks. Fans have been having a field day criticizing every little thing about me. They complain about my weight. My style. The way I part my hair. I knew I was getting hate. I saw one comment when Jeongin and I first announced our relationship. I convinced myself that it would die down and ignored it. I lived in blissful ignorance for a little over a year before a comment that a “friend” of mine retweeted made its way on my feed. It went downhill from there.

“Innie? Why are you here? I thought you would go straight home.” I asked when I found Jeongin at my front door looking disheveled and holding flowers.

“I figured out what’s wrong.” He places the flowers in my hand and kisses my cheek before making his way into my apartment.

“You did?” Out of instinct I walk in the kitchen and place the flowers in a vase full of water and walk it out to the living room. Jeongin is sitting in the armchair that has basically become his designated spot throughout our relationship.

“Why didn’t you come talk to me about the hate getting to you?” I sit on the side of the couch closest to him and lean forward with my elbows on my thighs.

“I didn’t know how to bring it up.” I sigh.

“How long has this been going on?”

“About two months, after I went to watch your music bank performance.” My eyes start to sting thinking about the unflattering picture and the comments that ensued.

“Two months? I would have thought two weeks with how you’re handling it.”

“I thought I was handling it, but I'm not. I can’t.” I choke out.

“Okay, we can figure this out. Chan hyung said—” Jeongin gets up from his spot on the armchair and joins me on the couch.

“I think we should break up,” I suggest, not even looking at him. I can’t bear the look on his face.

“Break up?”

“I love you with my whole heart, it hurts. It’s just that this world that you live in… I’m not cut out for it. I don’t belong. I’m not built to deal with so many people attacking me for just existing.”

“I can make it stop. I will make it stop.” He gently grabs my chin and forces me to finally look at him. His eyes are full of tears, but they aren’t falling.

“Jeongin, I’m sorry but I need to put myself first for once. All this hate is slowly but surely killing me.”

“I’ll… I’ll quit! I’ll leave Stray Kids and all of this will stop.” He pleads.

“You and I both know that if you leave, it’ll just get worse. And you love your job. The way your eyes sparkle when you talk about your music or when you nail a new choreography—I can’t take that from you, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.” I stroke the hair on the back of his head, trying to call him down.

“So, this is it? We call it quits and everything goes away?” The tears finally falling down his face.

“I just want to be happy, but I can’t do that in this current situation. I need you to let me go.” Jeongin closes the gap between us and places both hands on each cheek, pressing his lips to my forehead.

“I just want you to be happy too. I love you, I’ll let you go.”

—

Buy me a coffee?

#feelbokkie writes #stray kids #skz #han #jisung #han jisung #felix #yongbok #lee felix #lee yongbok #lee felix yongbok #seungmin #kim seungmin #i.n #jeongin #yang jeongin #x reader #skz smau #stray kids smaus #stray kids fake texts

[ivymarquis]

Blind Date

Me: “why the fuck is this fic taking so long to finish?”

The fic: *is the longest singular piece I’ve ever written for one chapter*

Pairing| John Price x F!Single Mom!Reader Rating| M Word Count| 8.4k Kinks/Content/Warnings| Drinking (everyone is clear headed), run ins with a shitty ex, mentions of abuse from prior relationship, these two are incredibly down bad for each other, oral (m! and f!receiving), protected piv, squirting

There is a certain catharsis in lamenting your dating horror stories with men to a married lesbian who’s over a decade older than you. Kate is always willing to lend an ear, and you’re positive that she gets a kick out of your misadventures in the way so many married people did while listening to their single friends.

“I swear I’m this close to just giving up all together and embracing spinsterhood,” you grouse with a drink in your hand after the work day had concluded.

You like to think your standards aren’t unreasonable. Someone kind, with their head on straight. It felt like finding a man who respects you as a person is becoming too big an ask and you very simply would rather be alone than deal with the endless hoard of men who seem hell bent on destroying any confidence you have in yourself.

“What about the guy you went out with yesterday?” Kate inquires with her head tilted. Must be fun, listening to your ramblings with a devoted partner at home.

“Oh did I not tell you? He was engaged!”

Kate pulls a face like her drink soured on her, matching how you’d felt at the time.

“Even better- guess how I found out he’s engaged.”

“She showed up at the restaurant?” Kate hits the nail on the head on the first try.

“Bingo,” you raise your glass in a gesture of affirmation before finishing it off. “Somehow I ended up being the one getting yelled at in that situation. Un-friggin-believable.”

You don’t abuse your work privileges to creep on people you meet in your personal life, but public record could have spared you if he’d been married. Harder to find out about an engagement from a total stranger who was determined to not let you find out about it and didn’t have social media.

“There’s always the other side,” Kate teases.

“Women scare me too much, I get all nervous.” You could appreciate an attractive woman as much as the next gal but good God you just could not help yourself when it came to men. The subtle way their breathing would change before they made their move, that low timber growling in your ear. The sheer weight of one on top of you as he manhandled you into the bedding-

Dear Lord, you need to get laid. Maybe you’re fixating on it too much because you’ve had an over 2 year dry spell. That tends to happen after a baby though. Especially with a pain in the ass ex who thinks he can pick and choose when to be around (and becomes absolutely incensed each time you remind him he could be consistent or he could stay home).

Kate is thoughtful for a moment, clearly kicking around an idea she hasn’t fully committed to in one direction or another. You can see the moment she decides to proceed with the thought. “Depending on what exactly you’re looking for, I might know someone.”

—

And here you are on a Saturday night, nerves clawing at your belly like a rabid dog.

Most (well, all) of the men you’ve dated you met online. There’s almost additional butterflies beyond the first-meet jitters knowing that the date is set up by a mutual friend.

There’s more at stake, even if the stakes are relatively low pressure. If the guys you met online did something incredibly out of pocket you never had to see them again, and held no qualms divulging the events to friends. Your romantic life has been full of misadventures but has given you a handful of stories, and as strangers you never have to consider any possible fallout in telling those stories.

Your son is with your mother for the night, allowing you the opportunity to focus solely on yourself this evening. No concern about keeping an eye on him while getting ready, worrying about what possible trouble he’ll get into when your back is turned.

It is hard at times- striking that balance between wanting to be a good mom and also wanting to be acknowledged as a desirable woman who has needs. A lot of men are shitty about it. You’d grilled Kate for every detail of his reaction when being informed of your young son. You don’t need another ambush regarding your disinterest in making it work with your son’s father.

She’d soothed your nerves- he hadn’t batted an eye, was about as worried about your reaction to how often his job pulled him away as you were about him having a poor reaction to being a single mom. You both have responsibilities that have to be placed above a relationship, now go play nice and have fun.

You tell yourself you can have one drink while waiting at the bar of the restaurant you’d agreed to meet at.

White wine ends up being your pick- not quite so easy to suck down as a tasty cocktail full of liquor, but gives you something to occupy yourself with.

You’ve only had the drink a handful of minutes before hearing someone clear their throat slightly behind you, and then your name.

Kate has shown you a photo of what he looks like so you’re not caught off guard when you turn around.

He’s handsome. You expect that but it’s different seeing him opposed to just the photo. Kind eyes, a warm smile on his face as he takes you in.

At least you both seem pleased with the big reveal.

“I’ve got a table waiting for us if you’re ready, love.”

He holds out a hand to let you balance yourself as you dismount from the bar seating, allowing you to steady yourself in your heels.

His hand is warm on your waist as he guides you and you’re already smitten by the time the pair of you sit down.

You’re fifteen minutes into dinner when you decide that so long as he a) is willing and b) doesn’t say or do anything completely deranged, you are going to ride Captain John Price like a mechanical bull at a shitty dive bar at the end of the night.

Perhaps the bar is in hell but either way you have been utterly deprived the past few years and he is checking plenty of boxes for you.

“So you work with Kate?” Starting off on the easy footing- the common ground that leads you both here.

“I do. Not directly- I work more on the tech side. I’m an independent contractor, I basically built the entire system she runs off of.”

“Beauty and brains,” his praise warms you, an impressed expression on his face. “Would explain how we’ve never crossed paths if you were hiding in a backroom surrounded by monitors,” he teases.

“You’re actually not that far off the mark,” not that you hide persay, but keeping that contract keeps a roof over your head and food in your child’s mouth. That keeps you busy. The fewer people who know how to work your program, the harder you are to get rid of.

You may or may not have hidden a few kill switches. Job security you call it. Though it’s not exactly first date material to talk about how you’ve got a government agency in a mutual understanding- keep extending your contract, and the program continues to work.

Either way, you don’t have much contact with the soldiers. Maybe you have passed each other in the halls but probably not- you’re certain a face like that wouldn’t have escaped your notice, introduction via a mutual friend or no. But you decide to utilize that mutual friend to shift the conversation. He’s hedged around talking about his work- on his end, sees that as the thing that might be a deal breaker for you. Probably wants to delay that until you've at least gotten your entrees.

So you go from business to hobbies. And it’s probably not entirely fair, but you’re about to see what his sense of humor is.

“Kate mentioned you’re a big soccer fan?” You make sure your expression is wide and doe eyed as you ask the question.

His eyebrow twitches- caught, no doubt, between wanting to leave a good first impression and biting back it’s football over here, love.

You crack far quicker than you initially plan, the wide grin on your face as you let him off the hook he’s good naturedly trying not to bite.

“Beauty, brains, and a comedian, lucky me.”

“I’m sorry, I had to. In fact, it was in her terms for this,” you make a vague gesture with your hand.

“Trust Kate to wheel and deal just to get my blood pressure up,” he muses as he takes a sip from his drink.

The conversation rolls easily enough- an ebb and flow as one of you poses a question, the other answering before allowing the first to say their contribution to the subject and moving on.

He’s charming, attentive, and a good storyteller. The way he carries himself screams military without being overbearing. He’s relaxed back into his chair and something about the scene in front of you makes you want to climb into his lap like a domesticated house cat.

Being the field captain to a specialized task force it’s no shock that he’s in incredible shape and you find yourself slightly distracted on more than one occasion by his hands and forearms.

The food is wonderful though the company is better- you end up moving back to the bar for fresh drinks and to free up the table for the server.

You spend a good length of time just talking with him at the bar.

John’s attention is on you but it’s clear he’s proverbially chewing on something the further on you go.

“That is the look of someone with a question they’re not entirely positive they want an answer to,” you’ve got a habit of being a touch direct at times. Amazing how it streamlines a conversation though.

“Observant one, aren’t you?” He pauses, takes another sip of his drink. “It’s probably none of my business, but ah- is your son’s father in the picture at all?”

It was your turn to take a drink. This was always such a fun topic of conversation. Frankly the number of men who took your ex’s side when the whole custody arrangement gets brought up alarms you.

But he has a right to his son.

Fuck that.

Your child is not property and you do not give a singular shit about your ex’s feelings- especially if it comes at the expense of your son’s safety. But it saves you a substantial amount of time not wasting energy on someone who could not understand the reason for your decisions.

“The short answer to the question is no. I had already left him by the time I found out I was pregnant, and given I left because he’s a raging alcoholic- with the emphasis on the rage-,” what a nice, polite way to say he is an abusive asshole. Your gaze shifts down towards the bartop, missing the way John’s expression softens as he reads between the lines of what you say. They’re not pleasant memories, but you’re not a wounded bird anymore- you’ve tended to your clipped wings and grown new feathers. “I didn’t want him involved.”

“He ended up finding out from a mutual acquaintance, and while he claims he wants to be around, he hasn’t done much other than blow my phone up at midnight trying to throw his weight around every time he gets a new girlfriend. So I get to be the cold blooded harpy that he gets to cry about- which is fine by me. On paper he says he wants to be involved, but he’s made absolutely no effort to arrange plans or anything while sober. I haven’t seen him in over 2 years. I can’t trust him to be a safe parent, and since he’s not on any official records I get final say unless he wants to go to court over it.”

Your whole little house of cards hinges on the fact that your ex wants everyone to bend over backwards for him while doing nothing for anyone else. All it would take would be one subpoena for a paternity test and your hands would be tied. He is an incredibly functional alcoholic, so there isn’t a criminal record or anything you can do to prove he would be unfit. There’s no proof of the abuse he inflicted on you.

Which means, if push comes to shove, you would be forced to relinquish sole custody and hand your child over for unsupervised visitation.

But that requires effort on his part. And that effort is the only thing keeping your little house of cards afloat.

“Sorry that’s probably way more information than you wanted-“ good job. Everything was going great until you laid out your drama.

“No apology necessary; I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want to know.”

And there’s no lecture about how you should give your ex a chance, that the opportunity to raise his son could make him change for the better. No dissertation on how you owe it to your son to do whatever it took to make things work with his father (that had been a weird way to end a date, and the only reason you hadn’t gotten up sooner and left was because it was such a bizarre conversation you’d half convinced yourself the whole thing had to be a bad dream).

You’re not a wounded bird and on the one hand it’s a good thing to get everything laid out on the table, but on the other you don’t want to sit and mope about your personal troubles. You’re actually enjoying John Price’s company, and don’t want to think about your problems.

And yes you are enjoying the time for what it is but part of you can’t help but also keep an eye out for… any opportunities for a transition.

As hot under the collar as you are, John’s gaze makes warmth coil in your gut in a way that has nothing to do with the wine- he’s being a gentleman.

It’s sweet. He’s being polite and respectful and showing sexual discipline while making it clear he’s interested.

And for all your bemoaning of prior dates with other men who aren’t captains of specialized task forces about how they were too pushy and too presumptuous and a nice dinner paired with drinks doesn’t entitle them to you dropping your panties—

Yet here you sit, hours into a conversation when you’d decided 15 minutes in you want to jump his bones. And you have to be patient otherwise you’re a total hypocrite.

You’re not entirely subtle. The pair of you are perched on barstools again, much closer than the table allowed you to be with the two of you angled towards each other.

Your dress looks good on you. A jewel toned blue that compliments your skin beautifully, the hemline stopping above your knees and loose enough to bounce tantalizingly when you hit your stride walking.

It’s not exactly an olive branch, but it is an offering of sorts when you carefully take the leg closest to John and cross it over the other. The hemline of your skirt slips up your thigh, exposing more of your leg. It stops just shy of exposing the top of your stockings and the clip to your garter. It does show just a hint of the darker border to your stockings, the lace peeking ever so slightly before transitioning to the sheer material that covers the rest of your legs.

You’re incredibly pleased with yourself when his eyes flick down for a split second and linger before snapping back to your face. Got you. He tries to hide behind being caught with a sheepish clearing of his throat. It’s adorable, really.

Your cheeks are starting to get sore from all the smiling and laughing that’s occurred over the past few hours. But he’s pleasant company so it’s a discomfort you’re happy to deal with.

You look past him for a split second- nothing in particular catching your attention but just taking in the scenery of the restaurant behind you. Your eyes are back on him in a moment only for your brain to process what it saw after a delay.

There’s no fucking way-

Yes. Yes there is. Your ex is mingling in the background, and you don’t even realize the smile on your face has fallen to a flat line like all the previous giddiness is draining out of you and pooling on the floor below.

It would not take a captain of an antiterrorism task force to see your sharp shift in disposition, so John notices immediately.

“Everything alright, love?”

Maybe he won’t see you. Maybe, if there is a God and he is merciful, your ex won’t look in your direction, won’t see you, and you can continue your cheerful plan of trying to seduce your date.

And whether there is not a God or he is just not merciful- either option remains with you having the same shit result. He turns his head and makes direct eye contact. God damn it.

You look back to John. You’d hoped you could move past talking about your ex for the evening. “Remember how I said I haven’t seen my ex in over 2 years?”

There’s a twinge of relief on his face- the look of a man grateful to not be the cause of your displeasure.

“Let me guess- he’s right behind me?”

“Not quite “right behind”, but yes. Hopefully he’ll just-“ a short huff off agitation leaves you as you cut yourself off.

So much for hoping he’d simply mind his business and stay with his group. He’s making his way towards the pair of you at the bar, and you can tell he’s had a good number of drinks in his system just looking at him.

You’d become extremely proficient at gauging how drunk your ex is at a glance. A skill you developed while still with him and one that doesn’t seem to have faded.

This is, you know without question, going to end up being absolutely humiliating for you. You just know it.

“I am going to go ahead and apologize now for whatever is going to come out of his mouth,” you inform John.

His hand finds your knee, giving a light, reassuring squeeze. “It’ll be alright, love.”

“Well what do we have here?” is the warning shot letting you know he’s not going to show any form of civility.

“Hello, Michael,” you greet cooly, mind spinning a hundred miles an hour trying to figure out how to end this conversation as quickly as possible.

“You don’t have time to answer my texts but you’ve got time to go out. That’s good. Good to know you’ve got your priorities in order,” he starts.

“Answering your texts isn’t even remotely on my priority list, you know that.” You’re trying incredibly hard to keep yourself from being outright nasty but a whole lot of old wounds float up to the surface at the sight of your ex.

Maybe your new feathers aren’t as filled out as you’d initially thought. You feel raw and exposed and it’s difficult to think. You know what you should do, how you should handle it- and there’s still that one little part in your brain that is keeping tabs on John and his response to all of this.

“Your priority should be my son-“ he starts,

“-who is with his perfectly capable grandmother for the evening, thank you,” you finish for him, jaw set tightly. “Why are you here?”

The direct question is aggressive but you know the cycle with him too well to allow him to steer the conversation. He’ll run you in circle after circle until you’re so frazzled you can’t discern left from right.

“Can’t say hello and introduce myself to your new fella? Come on now, where’s your manners?”

Your eyes widen as Michael reaches a hand out- there is no way this asshole is about to grab you in public.

Quick as a snake, John runs interference and drapes his arm across the back of your chair, his fingers holding the shoulder furthest from him lightly.

The entire length of your back and shoulders are blocked by the SAS captain, forcing Michael’s hand back as there was no easy place for it to land that wouldn’t also be touching John.

Up until now, John has been quiet and assessing the situation. Not bowing up or trying to assert himself- letting you deal with your ex and navigate the situation for yourself.

The look on his face is downright unpleasant to put lightly. This is the man in charge of an elite task force, who barks orders at soldiers who drop everything at once because he told them to-

-and you don’t feel so exposed anymore. You find yourself sitting up a bit straighter only for John to gently stroke his knuckles against your shoulder in a soothing gesture. The gesture isn’t a miraculously grand one, but one that makes you realize you’re not alone in this situation even as disorienting as it is. And if you’re being honest with yourself, the upright posture and shifting of your thighs isn’t so much a stress response to your ex as you keying in on John’s response to the whole situation.

“John, Michael- Michael, John. There, now you’re introduced.” Go away now please.

Your ex is too drunk and too full of himself to see the writing on the wall, and continues to poke the bear. “Well, since she doesn’t seem to want to give a proper introduction-“ he sticks an arm out, and you can’t help but notice how the simple gesture causes him to need to correct his balance. Good lord it was barely dark out and he’s already-

Well. Not your problem. Not anymore, at any rate.

John is sitting to your left, his right arm the one that’s draped across the back of your chair. The pair of you flash a quick look to each other, John lifting his arm from your chair to take Michael’s hand and-

God.

Damn.

It.

The exchange is actually as hilarious as it is embarrassing (You can’t quite decide if it’s all the second hand cringe variety, or first hand because Look, John! Here’s the father of my child! I sure know how to pick a partner! Is still coiling in the depths of your stomach). You’d prefer if it simply never occurred at all.

You can see your ex’s forearm flexing as he shakes John’s hand. The microexpression that flicks across your date’s face confirms your suspicion- Michael is (for some reason) trying to use an overexaggerated grip to establish some sort of dominance in the situation.

The quick really? that reads on John’s face rapidly turns to a bemused and subtle if that’s how you want to play then, a barely noticeable shift in his own grip resulting in Michael wincing.

“Captain John Price,” his tone is easy, betraying none of the pissing contest your ex instigated and is failing miserably to get one over on John.

Your ex mumbles his full name, clearly realizing that whatever his brilliant little plan is a) isn’t so brilliant to begin with b) he might just be alert enough to acknowledge the fact that he clearly has no true plan. He came over with the intention of being an asshole and has been flying blind the entire time.

There’s one woman from the group your ex split off from who is watching the three of you keenly. If you were to guess, she is probably his new girlfriend.

You can’t help but wonder- does she know enough to know that this is routine behavior for him? That he throws himself headfirst into a situation he hasn’t planned out- isn’t sober enough to plan out? Situations that don’t need to occur just so he can throw his weight around? Too petty to give a genuine “Hello, how are you? It’s been a while. I want to talk to you about Sam when we’ve both got some free time?”

Everything is vindictive. Constantly worrying about not being undermined and being respected to the point he gets in his own way. Actively sabotages his own opportunities. In dire need of therapy to work through his issues because you know the alcohol is how he copes and you’d sympathized at first but the reasons became excuses and then he’d started blaming you and-

-John places his arm on the back of your chair again and you pull yourself out of your mental spiral.

“I think your date is waiting for you, Michael. Best not to keep the lady waiting.” John observes, his tone neutral despite being a clear dismissal.

“You’ll be hearing from me later. I want to see my son.” Michael’s ignoring John’s presence but taking the hint.

You don’t fling a final barb at him. The venom has been drained out of you and you just want the interaction over and done with. Let him have the last word. You just want him gone.

You merely cast a look over at the woman who is Michael’s date for the evening and hope she’s got better sense than you did- that she leaves before he sinks his claws in her too.

The weight that settled in your stomach upon first seeing him is finally lightening up on you. You know you’ll wake up tomorrow to a barrage of phone calls and text messages that you won’t answer. It’s probably not good you’re so desensitized to the idea that it barely registers as a problem. Merely one of life’s many inconveniences.

“You alright, love?” John’s voice helps you shake the last of the tendrils that cling to you.

“Yes. Sorry. Wasn’t expecting to run into him of all people tonight, is all.”

“Never fun being ambushed, is it?”

You take a bit of a risk- you know enough about his job but he’s steered the conversation away from it every time the topic would naturally shift that direction. You know how Kate’s work can go and you assume his is very similar. “Well you’d certainly know more about that than I would.”

It works. The two of you break out in grins, and you find yourself no longer worrying about Michael and your focus readily settling back on John where it belongs.

At some point- long after the single cube in John’s drink has melted, and the condensation of your wine glass has soaked the bev nap underneath it, and more importantly long enough that you don’t feel that you’re fleeing the restaurant- the suggestion is made to go back to John’s. “No more surprises, hm?”

You gladly follow him. You’d taken an Uber to get to the restaurant, anticipating drinking and hoping to go home with him, so you have no worries about your own car.

You can easily see him being the type to give you a quick, chaste kiss on the doorstep after safely dropping you at home. In another universe you’d appreciate the restraint, enjoy fleeting touches over the course of a few dates that get more intense each time before finally finding yourself in his bed.

In this universe however, you don’t have to wait. Don’t want to, either. You get to indulge your earlier impulse of crawling into his lap, knees spread wide on either side of his waist. Lowering your hips allows you to feel him and what exactly he’s packing between his own legs. Your hips cant in short motions and heat coils heavy in your gut.

From the feel of things he’s proportional and John is not a small man. There’s a brief flicker that runs through your mind that you might be in over your head with him. The pent up lust and desire stifles that flicker. You’re more than game to see what a night with him ends up being like.

His hands are warm against your skin- one cupping the back of your head and keeping you close as the pair of you make out, the other settles on your hip and keeps you steady as you grind down on him.

You are possessed with the desire to get his cock in your mouth.

It’s cute how his face follows yours as you pull away from him.

“Help me with my dress?” Your question is perfectly innocent as you turn your back to him, presenting the zipper that runs down the length of your back.

His pleased laugh warms you, a shiver of desire and anticipation running down your spine as his breath fans across the back of your neck.

You’ve got a surprise waiting for him underneath your dress, partially revealed as one of his hands holds the top of the dress steady while the other draws the zipper down.

You gave him the hint you were wearing stockings when you’d baited him back at the restaurant, letting the heavy fabric of the dress fall to a heap around you before kicking it off to one side.

Turning back to face him, John seems quite enraptured with his surprise.

The lingerie set is a matching shade as your jewel toned dress, the garter belt clipping to the sheer black thigh high stockings.

There’s always that split second hesitation when revealing yourself to someone- the anxiety of if they’ll be pleased with what’s presented to them.

John is the first person you’ve been with since you’ve had your child, and the slight anxiety quells quickly at the look on his face.

John looks like he wants to eat you alive. Any insecurity is knocked firmly aside by desire quickly ramping back up.

Placing one hand on his thigh to steady yourself as you lift a leg to take your shoe off, John is quick to stop you. “Leave them on for now, love.”

It’s a request but it’s not. Really that doesn’t surprise you- he is someone who is likely used to having his whims accommodated to. You find yourself having no urge to defy him, nodding in compliance. If John wants your heels to stay on, then they’ll stay.

He guides you between his legs, enough space between his knees for you to slot yourself in. With him sitting on the bed he’s shorter than you standing straight up in your heels. Bending down to give a quick, teasing kiss you let yourself drop to your own knees.

“You don’t have to-“

“I want to,” you assure him with doe eyes and are rewarded with him settling into the bed as your hands go to work on his belt.

Unable to resist teasing him, you mouth at his bulge through the thick fabric of his pants. You’re rewarded with a soft cant of his hips, having his belt undone and working on the button and zip of his pants in record time.

Your earlier suspicions are correct. John is a big boy in more ways than one. You want him in your mouth- now.

While you’re occupying yourself with getting his pants off, John shucks his shirt and shoes.

He is, simply put, delicious to look at. From the broad muscling to the thick dark hair running from his chest down his abdomen. He doesn’t have the hard chiseled abs of a man who lives in the gym but the sturdy build that comes from having useful, functional muscle that’s put to work.

And that’s incredibly hot. He’s girthy as hell in your hand as you give a few strokes before putting your mouth on him.

You’re not entirely certain if deep throating him is going to be an option, but by God you’re going to try.

“Bloody hell, love.” John grunts while you bob your head up and down the length of him. You’re gauging just how much of him you can get in your mouth- where your threshold is before your gag reflex wants to kick in.

He’s petting you. Doubtless trying to fight the urge to fist your hair, his hips struggling to stay still on the bed.

You want him to. You feel feral, all the pent up sexual energy you’ve been storing for God-knows-how-long welling up all at once. You want this man carnally and your brain presently thinks having your hair held in place and your throat fucked is a fantastic idea.

John clearly has other plans, restraining himself and letting you work at your own pace. That low, deep breathing paired with his soft grunts and voiced encouragements stoke the flames of your arousal hotter.

Eventually you do need air, pulling off of him for a moment. Your hand works his shaft and teases the tip of him as you lean forward to run your tongue up and down the length of him, dropping a bit lower to lave at his heavy sac. He jolts which only encourages you to do it again.

You know your eyes are one of your better features- you’ve heard the compliment enough times both in and out of the bedroom, holding John’s gaze as you lick him back up the length of his shaft and circle the head once before having caught your breath enough to wrap your lips around him once more.

The second time around you’re able to get a bit more of him down your throat, but not all the way. What you can’t reach you stroke with one hand, the other resting on his thigh to help balance yourself as you work. You can feel the tension building in his thigh as he gets closer, pleased with yourself.

It’s a heady feeling. You don’t know exactly all the dirty details of his job but understand enough to know you’ve got a powerful man at your whim right now and that scratches a deep seated itch in you.

“Good girl,” his praise washes over you, warm and welcoming. “Just like that-“

You’re intent on sucking the soul out of him, all doe eyes and hollowed cheeks with those painted red lips. Eventually he gives into the urge to grab a fistful of your hair. He doesn’t do anything to interrupt the rhythm you’ve settled into, letting you move as you see fit.

He bites out your name and you feel the muscles in his leg drawn tight. “I’m getting close, love.”

It’s not quite a question. You give your not-answer by doubling down on him. You’re so close to having him in your mouth all the way to the base. You don’t want to back off. What you do want is for him to finish down your throat.

You get your wish. John’s fist tightens and you let out a grunt as his thrusting results in your nose pressed against his public bone.

The taste of him doesn’t really register as he spills inside your mouth, your focus on breathing through your nose and keeping your gag reflex down.

He’s petting your hair again, praises falling freely from him and soft apologizes. “Lost myself for a moment there, love. You alright?”

You keep your mouth hilted on him for a moment to prove a point- you’re fine, he didn’t push you past threshold- before finally releasing his softening cock.

He’s pulling you up to him after that, an open mouthed kiss that flusters you considering he just came in your mouth. “You’re just a treasure,” his voice purrs in your ear. “Only fair I return the favor, hm?”

He guides you to lay on the bed, knees hanging over the edge before he turns to settle between your legs.

He starts at your neck. You’re ticklish at one spot his lips, squirming in his hold with a giggle. “Sensitive, hm?”

You nod out a “mhm,” that breaks into a breathy moan as he works his way down your chest. Rather than removing your bra his hands work to pull your breasts free from the cups before paying particular attention to your nipples.

His hands are warm as they roam your ribcage, the heat of his body seeping through the lace of your outfit as his fingers trail across your skin and the delicate material.

“You’re so soft, love,” you don’t quite know how to respond to the compliment, mewling wordlessly in pleasure at the attention.

That seems to appease him as he kisses his way down your sternum and to your belly, the expanse of most of it covered by the fabric of the garter belt.

His eyes flick up to your own as his lips travel closer to the apex of your thighs. Where you’ve been lying patient and pliant in his grasp, the eye contact draws something tight in your core and you squirm again.

The next thing you feel is teeth as he nips you. “Be a good girl for me,” he tells you, soothing the soft throb of his bite with his tongue.

You force yourself to still as he moves lower, lower, lower- taking his time and having you thoroughly worked up before moving to the next patch of skin.

When he’s down far enough he slides one of your thighs over his shoulder, that arm looping under your arm and banding across your abdomen.

It’s his turn now to mouth at your clothed sex.

He pulls the gusset of your thong aside after a moment of teasing, his lips descending on you.

“Oh,” your hand immediately finds purchase in his hair, a pleased whimper escaping you at the feel of John’s tongue.

John feasts on you. There’s not much else that can be done to describe it. It’s lewd and wet as he laps at you, the flesh of his tongue doing little to soothe the burning ache inside you and only ramping it up.

Those eyes are wicked as he gazes up at you from between your thighs. The hand resting on your lower stomach is pressing ever so lightly, like John wants the pressure there but not too much yet and you’re once again struck with the idea you might be in over your head with him.

“John, please,” you beg. It feels good but you need more, lust clouding your brain as your hips rock against his face.

“You need to be patient, love. I’ll take care of you. Just relax, hm?”

It dawns on you that he’s probably running down the clock until his refractory period is up. That he doesn’t want to get you going too quick and then be stuck not quite ready to perform.

It’s an assumption, and you’re not 100% sure that you’re correct, but it’s a solid enough option that you move forward with that in mind.

The thought almost makes it easier to relax into the bed- the idea that John is going to pleasure you with his mouth until enough time has passed and he can get it up again. That he’s not just mindlessly toying with you with no end goal in mind.

It feels good you’re just stuck being greedy and wanting more stimulation despite knowing that won’t happen until John decides he’s ready to give you more.

You almost jump when the fingers you’ve been waiting for make their presence known. His mouth moves to focus on your clit, lips making a seal and sucking on it. You cry out, hips canting as his fingers gently rub at your labia.

He starts with one, gently sliding it in and out of you. Your back arches in satisfaction of having something to clench on and rub against. It’s more satisfying than just one of your own- that was for sure.

“That’s it love,” John praises you while easing a second one into you.

The second finger is what you were looking for, stimulation wise. John pets and strokes you, thumb gently working over your clit in soft circles before putting his mouth back on you.

He doesn’t just find your g-spot. John’s fingers are placed so they hone in on that spongy bit of tissue tucked inside you. He doesn’t let up on it, tongue working on your clit as you arch your back helplessly and moan.

That pressure is back on your abdomen, the hand not currently stroking you to nirvana pressing down on your belly.

You moan and buck against his hold. Your orgasm is creeping up on you and it’s like he’s determined to make you squirt.

“You keep that up and I’m gonna make a mess,” you warn him- not entirely certain how he’ll respond to the prospect of you squirting on his face.

John looks delighted and you realize that yes, you are in over your head with him.

There’s a mischievous glint in his eye as he pulls back from you, “You promise, love? Don’t tease me.”

Oh dear God- Next thing you know he’s reaching over you to pull a pillow from the top of the bed, wedging it underneath your hips before returning to his place between your thighs.

You’re flustered at how eager he is to see you squirt. His mouth is back on you, sucking on your clit and making your legs shake as two fingers go right back to abusing your g-spot, his free hand pressing on your belly increasing the pressure that is mounting by the second.

There’s nothing else for you to do but grab a fistful of his hair and hang on. “Please- oh! J-John! Right there,” at your encouragement he locks in on the spot that’s got you arching your back and your thighs trembling.

“That’s it, pretty girl. Show me,” he’s moaning encourments against your skin and you feel like a bow drawn tight and ready to snap. You’re so, so close.

The sounds he draws out of you- both from your mouth and between your legs- are filthy and vulgar and you don’t care at all as he gets you teetering just on the edge.

You’re practically gasping for breath, eyes screwing shut as the hand not buried in John’s hair fists the sheets next to you. You babble his name, chants of John all your brain can muster.

All that pressure coiling in you snaps and gushes out, literally and metaphorically.

“Good girl, making such a mess for me,” John’s praise has you flushing hot while his fingers work you like he’s making sure he can wring out every single last drop.

He stops when you have nothing left to give him, a trembling mess shivering in his hold.

Your brain at some point made the windows shut down noise, needing a moment to settle as you process what John just did to you.

This is the hardest you’ve cum in ages, certainly better than the orgasms you’ve given yourself during your little dry spell.

You return to the land of the living with his lips on yours, tasting yourself as he soothingly strokes your side. “You back with me?” He asks, eliciting a nod from you.

“Please tell me you have a condom,” your tone is pleading. You still want to ride him but you’ve learned your lesson about practicing safe sex. Once was, in fact, all it took for things to go off the rail.

“I do,” he stands, moving to the nightstand and opening a drawer.

Now that your legs feel somewhat compliant you sit yourself back up.

No sooner than John’s got the condom on then you’re guiding him back down, having him lay on the edge of the bed.

It takes a bit of maneuvering, getting yourself situated so your heels don’t catch on his sheets, but you’re straddling him with the leg closest to the edge of the bed hanging over the side as the opposite leg folds underneath you. You hover over him while getting everything lined up. The position of your legs allows you to alternate which one is supporting the brunt of your weight, a factor that is going to be fairly important once you’ve hilted yourself on John.

Even with how pliant your body is it takes a moment for the head of him to breach you.

“Oh,” you let out a breath as you sink down on him. You’re not able to get all the way to the base of him on the first go, getting your weight underneath yourself and lifting almost completely off of him before dropping down again. You get a little further this time, a moan escaping you.

“That’s it, love. Nice and easy,” his voice coos in your ear, that low timber having you liable to melt.

He’s thick. Not in a way that’s insurmountable to manage, but you have absolutely no complaints with how he fills you and anticipate being pleasantly sore in the morning.

Two more slow bounces have you sinking low enough to hilt yourself on him, taking a moment to enjoy the sensation of sitting fully on his lap.

One of his hands braces on your hip, the other his thumb circles your clit. You squirm at the stimuli, relishing in the feel of him before getting to work.

This is what you’ve been drooling over all night. Your reward is very well earned in your opinion. Moaning lowly as you bounce up and down, your movements are initially slow and languid but pick up speed as you get your bearings. John’s heavy exhales and grunts when you clench only serve to wind you tighter.

“You feel good, pretty girl? Hm? You like bouncing on my cock?”

You flush- a ridiculous notion given how you’re quite literally hilted on his dick-, face hot from the dirty talk.

The hand on your hip helps guide you to a pace that’s pleasurable for the both of you, eyes rolling as he thrusts his hips in a way that makes you see stars. “Yes! John- yes! Oh it feels so good,” your voice a low purr as he delivers on every fantasy you’ve had this evening.

The stretch of him in you feels absolutely incredible, knocking the air out of you on each bounce. It doesn’t take long until that knot begins to form again, growing steadily as you rise and fall in his lap. The press of his finger circling your clit draws staggered moans, bracing on him for support.

“Been thinking about this all night,” John grits out. “Wanted to flip you over the bar top and have my way with you right there on the dining room floor.”

You moan at the confession, feeling less like a rabid dog with no impulse control now you know you’re not alone in the intense desire that had struck once you’d laid eyes on him.

“Probably wouldn’t have- ah! st-stopped you,” you tell him. The grip on your hip tightens at that, another moan escaping you as you bounce on him.

Your eyes roll in pleasure, cunt practically fluttering from the way he keeps getting you to clench. The thickness of his girth doesn’t just let him keep hitting that spot in you with lift of your hips so much as the mushroom tipped head of his cock drags across it.

“Aren’t you just a fucking treasure,” he praises.

Your thighs are burning, eased by the position of your legs and John’s grip helping you but becoming more present with each wet clap of your sex against his lap. It almost helps you tip closer to another climax.

Your eyes squeeze shut, a staggered breath escaping you.

“Eyes on me,” he tells you and you comply immediately.

“John, please I’m so close,” your thighs are shaking again, threatening your already precarious balance.

“You need more, pretty girl?”

You shake your head. “No-no. Just don’t stop. Please don’t stop!”

And bless him, he doesn’t do anything to fuck up your rhythm. The fingers circling your clit keep the same tempo and pressure perfectly, his free hand still helping guide you up and out of his lap before sitting you back down.

You know you’re about to come but are caught off guard by how sharp it is as you squirt for a second time.

The sight of you spurting across his abdomen nearly severs any control John has left. The next thing you know John’s abandoned your overstimulated clit in favor of rolling you onto your back, your heels clattering to the floor from the motion. Your legs go instinctively to clamp around his waist for security- only one of them does, the other stopped by wet fingers gripping your thigh by your knee as he spreads you open. His weight is held on the forearm bracing next to your head by the time you process the shift in position.

“You alright, pretty girl?”

You can’t quite get your words out but manage a nod. “Ye-yeah,” you eventually stagger out as he waits for a verbal confirmation.

With the comfort that you were fine, that gives John the assurance he needs to seek his own pleasure.

More than satisfied with your two climaxes, you lay limp and pliant in his grasp while he chases his own end.

The wet squelch of his cock splitting you open with each thrust was loud and obscene although you were too far gone in the blissed out pleasure to care. Your whole body feels delightfully tingly, your head swimming pleasantly.

You clench down on him a few times, more for his benefit than anything else. You’re spent but more than willing to help him across the finish line as he buries his face in the crook of your neck, muttering praises that are punctured with short, sharp thrusts before he stiffens as his own climax hits.

The two of you have both broken into a light sheen of sweat by the end of things. After a moment to recuperate John stands with a “I’ll be right back.” (And you unabashedly enjoy the view of his ass while he retreats to the bathroom.)

True to his word he returns shortly, evidently having disposed of the condom with a towel in hand for you.

The pair of you get yourselves clean and sorted. Before you can decide how you want to ask, John seems to already know what the question is.

“You don’t need to leave, do you?”

Again it’s not entirely a question, but still gives you an out if you want to take it.

You don't want to take the out.

#john price x reader #captain john price #john price #x single mom reader #cod x reader #cod mwii #my writing #now I gotta name this bitch because I totally plan on a whole series and the other characters can’t be calling her love all the time lmao #i wrote and coded this whole thing on my phone because my laptop has once again quit on me

[shuxiii]

Drunken love

Hanni iPham x Gn! Reader

A/n: @gojosrug ihy

You knew you loved Hanni from the moment she walked through that door, your heart pounding faster than it had ever before, with each thud, beating harder, from her smile, or your name that left her lips. Always leaving you wanting for more.

You were hit by cupid's bow harder than anyone else, her image never left your mind, every dream was only about her, every second was spent missing her.  

Love, You loathed it, but you kept it inside your heart, leaving you defenseless.

You loved Hanni, yet here you were wasting your time with other girls who weren't her, spending your attention on other girls, when you hoped it was her standing in front of you, wishing the person smiled at you like she did, or that the person smelled like her lavender fragrance.

You were too scared, scared that she wouldn’t look at you the way you looked at her, feared that the last words that leaves her lips was the rejection you didn’t want to hear. Instead of crying over her on your bed, here you were wasting time on girls that ain’t her.

And yet no matter how hard you tried to distracted yourself, your heart constantly ached for her, missing her scent, longing her eyes, yearning her smile, craving her touch, it drove you insane, it was temptation that even the Deity couldn't resist.

"Yn, I think you've had enough." The bartender murmured, glancing at your flushed, intoxicated face.

‘‘N-No, Im foine, yeonjun ’‘ your slurred, stumbling as you tried to get another drink from his hand, only to fail. 

‘‘No, you aren’t fine, you’ve been going in and out of this bar 4 times a week, I’m surprised no one hasn’t caught your famous ass and upload it online for everyone to see, their lovely idol Yn drunk at a bar over someone.’‘ Yeonjun rambled, his scolding going in one ear and out the other.

‘‘She isn’t just someone..’‘ You mumbled, slowly resting against your forearm, eyes threatening to close.

‘‘Of course she isn’t just someone, she’s the whole reason why your weeping in a bar, drunken out of your mind.’‘ Yeonjun scoffed, looking at your disheveled state. You weren't like this when you were in love; what did Hanni do to you to spend all your time at his bar babbling to random ladies rather than growing balls and talk to her?

‘‘Why can’t she see that I need her in my life!’‘ You exclaimed, your lips forming a grimace, as tears welled up in your eyes. You were completely wasted.

"That's it, I'm calling someone to pick you up, I'm not going to be the one to take care of your pity ass." He snatched your phone against your will and walked to the other side of the pub where there was less commotion.

You placed your head softly on the wooden table, your head throbbing slightly from shouting, your eyes closed, your thoughts full of her.

You felt a tap against your arms, making you look to the side, eyes widen, hastily standing up tripping slightly.

‘‘Hanni?’‘ You softly spoke, your vision blurred. 

‘‘Hanni? Who’s that? 'The woman questioned, puzzledly glancing back at you.

Without realizing you unconsciously hugged the girl, stumbling in the process, making the other girl startle at the contact. 

"You’re Hanni! "You slurred, tightening your grip on her, odd why did Hanni smelled different today.

‘‘Actually, I’m no-’‘ before the lady could finish her sentence someone spoke behind you. 

‘‘Yn.’‘ You turn back so fast that it could have given you a whiplash, eyes squinting, before turning wide. 

‘‘Hanni?’‘ You look back at her brown orbs you yearned for everyday, before look back at the person you just hugged, you rubbed your eyes, realizing something making you move a far distance at the random lady you just hugged.

‘’B-But I thought she-’‘ You confusingly gaze back and forth at the two person, before panicking.

‘‘W-Wait H-Hanni its not what it looks like!’‘ You frantically moved your hands around trying to find the right excuse without blurting none sense. 

Before you could make up an excuse, Hanni took your hands intertwining it with hers, making you blush at the contact.

It was too quiet, walking way back to your car, yet despite the thickening tension her hands never let go of yours, your gaze solely focused on her figure, smiling like an idiot. not noticing she stopped on her tracks making you bump to her, staggering as you took a step backward.

‘‘Where’s your car keys?’‘ She spoke, now looking back at you with an unreadable expression. 

‘‘Uh I-I’m sorry?’‘ You confusingly asked, timidly standing in front of her small figure.

‘‘Where’s your car keys, I’m not letting you drive back home.’‘ She sternly spoke.

You began nervously, searching for it in your pocket, as if you were being held in a gun point. after a few seconds you finally found it, quickly giving it to her.

The entire vehicle drive was silent; your mind was jumbled, overwhelmed by her sheer presence; you were nervous; the person who had never left your mind was suddenly beside you.

The intrusive thoughts finally kicking in your head, what if she thinks I go to bars to flirt with other women? what if she thinks I’m alcoholic? does she hate me now?  You dreadfully inquired, anxiously toying with your hands. 

"Yeonjun, called me to pick you up." She spoke, still focusing her gaze on the road.

"Oh." Damn you, yeonjun. You cursed.

As silence once filled the car again.

---

"We're here," she said quickly as she stepped out of the driver's seat. Yes, she definitely despises me.

You uncomfortably unbuckled your seatbelt, exiting the car shuddering from the cold air blowing through you, trailing Hanni like a lost pet.

You walked inside your dimly lit living room, not knowing to do, the constant banging of your head, didn’t help you at all. You look back behind Hanni’s figure, unsure what to do next.

‘‘So who was that woman?’‘ Hanni questioned her back still facing you.

‘‘N-No one, I thought she was someone.’‘ You responded, nervously fiddling with the hem of your shirt, now quite sober at her monotoned voice.

She eventually returned your gaze, with an expression you recognized, because it was an expression that you’d always have whenever you saw her with someone that wasn’t you.

‘‘Really, because it seemed like yo-’‘ 

‘‘I like you.’‘ You blurted out. 

Damn.

You both glanced at each other, both with shocked looks, but for different reasons. Your heart thumping in your chest, you shut your eyes, bracing yourself for whatever speech she has planned about how she just sees you as a friend, cliché crap.

You hear light footsteps approaching, and her lavender aroma fills your head.

That's when you felt something nice and soft contact your lips; it was swift and fleeting, leaving you wanting more.

‘‘I like you too.’‘ 

Wait what. 

‘‘You what.’‘ You look back at her, processing everything, your mind malfunctioning at the situation.

Hanni observed your abrupt rigidity, laughing softly at your airheaded demeanor.

"I said I like you too." She closed the gap between you, making you even more agitated, but the more you took a step back, the closer she got to you, trapping you against the wall.

‘‘So tell me, who was that lady if you liked me hm?’‘ "Her face was just an inch away from you, her breath striking your neck, making you shudder.

Your mind was being overwhelmed by her, so many things were happening, first she liked you back, and that soft sensation that hit your lips, now her face was inches away from you, it was all happening much too fast.

Suddenly, an idea popped your head.

You stared her in the eyes before embracing her in your arms, startling her with the sudden movement.

You closed your eyes to stop fumbling, calming down as you felt her warm body against you.

‘‘I thought... I thought she was you. Hanni, your all I ever thought of, I like you so much, that even my words cant explain how much I really really like you, please don’t be a dream please please I don’t wanna wake up yet.’’ You hugged her tightly, fearing all of this was just a hallucination from the liquor, you didn’t want this hopeful dream to end yet, if it really was just a dream.

You could hear her giggle as you felt her embrace you back.

‘‘If this was a dream, yn, maybe I should kiss you again, so you would realize it isn’t.’‘ 

You froze, kiss me again what. then it hit you.

‘‘SO THAT SOFT THING WAS YOUR-’‘ 

‘‘I’m heading upstairs, catch me if you want more!’‘ she let go of your shocked body, running like a child up to your bed.

‘‘What.’‘ 

#Hanni x reader #Hanni Pham #New jeans #Newjeans #Newjeans fic

[goldenhypen]

it’s this blog’s one year anniversary 🥹🫶🏻

happy one year y’all !! ah, wow, so many things have happened over this past year ,,, it honestly feels like i’ve been on here forever with you guys as almost another family to come to at the end of the day to listen to all my rambling about my love for jake haha (i’m half kidding) but, you guys, i’m rlly, rlly thankful for y’all. you’ve shown me sm love over this past year, more than i could’ve ever imagined. this blog has been growing crazy fast, and in just one year, with close to around 115 works (how ???) we’ve already hit 3.23k followers (hOW ??!?) !! that’s absolutely insane and incredible and i just wanna give a huge shout out and this is my shout out- to you all for making this such a fun experience and for reading and enjoying and showing love to my works, but also me as a person. i’m so grateful, and i will make an effort to work even harder in the future to repay you guys <3

ah, i’ve met so many incredible ppl along the way as well, and i wanna take this time to thank some of them, however, bc there’s just so many amazing ppl i’ve met, and you all are so special to me and have made my time on here so enjoyable, i unfortunately can’t name them all, but to just a few who have made my time on here particularly special…

[ @heeracha ] — rey <3 omg have we been through a lot ,,, i honestly can’t exactly remember how it was that we became moots (ew the term ‘moots’ sounds weird using it with you since we’re sm closer than just ‘moots’ but anyway). i think we ended up liking a bunch of each other’s works and interacting that way ,, and wow i wouldn’t have ever imagined that the talented enha/skz writer i found on the internet one day would become someone i would talk to every single day and that i’d gain a best online friend out of it <3 ,, you’ve read through paragraphs of me talking about jake, and encouraged my simping, all the way to encouraging me in real life situations, and have comforted me when i felt discouraged. it’s amazing how we can go on talking for—it’s almost been a year now, and we still talk every day. so yeah ,, thank you ,, i can’t imagine my life without you, and you’ve changed it for the better <3 ,,,, and ,, i’m sorry for not giving you your hee pics yesterday. i’ll give them to you after this though ig 🙄😔 ,,,, hehe i love you rey 🫶🏻

[ @ethereal-engene ] — ash <3 words cannot describe just how thankful i am for you. we have sm fun simping over not just jakehoon and the rest of enha but also our svt boys <33 and i don’t get to do that with moots on here v offen and so hehe i’m v grateful <3 but aside from just being friends who fangirl over boys tgt, you have also always been there for me and looked out for me and have been so understanding and supportive of me, and i always have sm fun talking to you, and you never fail to put a big, fat smile on my face. like you said, you’re basically like an older sister to me <33 you’ve become someone v special to me here, ash, and i hope we stay friends for a v long time <3 i’m so grateful for you, ash, and i have sm love in my heart for you. thank you for everything <333

[ @tyunni ] — may <3 ahhh may omg i’m trying to think of how i even met you and how we first interacted but for some reason, no matter how much i try to think, i srsly can’t remember ??? sksjs maybe you can help jog my memory 😭 but anyways, thank you for all the fun and amazing memories. we’ve shared so many deep conversations that i have never had with anyone else on here before, and even though we haven’t been friends for a year yet, i feel like we’ve known each other for sm longer (and i mean that in all the best ways). you’re my fav riki simp that i can always go to and share delulus with <//3 and just ,, you’ve put so many smiles on my face over this past year with all the things we talk about, and i’ve also never had anyone reblog works with as encouraging messages as you have, and now i take that with me and do the same to others so that hopefully i can put just as wide of a smile on their faces as you have mine. i’ve learned sm from you, but this is just one of the many <3 anyway, i can go on and on about just how grateful i am for you, but hopefully this gives a little bit of an idea <3 love you sm, may <3

[ @sultrybaby ] — kel <3 oh how less joyful my time on here would be without you :’) you’re such a fun and thoughtful person, and i’m truly grateful that i’ve had you with me on this journey. i legit can’t even picture this place without you. idk if you know just how caring and encouraging and understanding you are to not only me but also to lots of other on here. we’ve shared so many deep convos with one another, and i’m grateful that you’ve always been here for me when i need it. you’ve put countless smiles on my face, and you’re someone i think of every day, and i adore you and only wish the best for you. you’re such a supportive friend that i can relate to on so many levels, and i just wanna thank you for all the invaluable memories we’ve created. love you sm, kel <333

[ @kpophubb ] — my lovely mia <3 my angel !! mia you are the sweetest, most thoughtful and caring person on this site :( truly, i wanna thank you for everything :( thank you for being there for me and supporting me and encouraging me and for showing me so much love throughout my time on here. i think you were my first moot who was a fellow jakey stan, and it’s been so fun fangirling tgt. mia, you’re one of the most thoughtful ppl i’ve met on this site, and i aspire to be like you in that way. i’m so grateful for you, and i hope we can be friends for a vv long time 🥺 i’ve watched you grow and overcome sm, and i’m so proud of you, mia, for everything <3 stay happy, love bc you deserve nothing but the best. i love you 🥹🫶🏻

[ @sungbeam ] — beam, my twin <3 omg i wish we became friends sooner 😭 like ik you interacted with me first but ugh the fact that i knew of your existence for a while before then, and i should’ve just reached out 😭 it’s the introvert em coming out 😬😭 but omg when i found out that we share sooo much in common, i obviously immediately felt so connected to you already, and it was so cool. i’m so happy we have sm to connect on and that we can go to each other to fangirl about so many things and just talk about all the things we share in common but also the things we differentiate on so that we can learn from each other too :) also ,, kinda random but i’m also rlly glad i found your blog bc i rlly, rlly enjoy reading your works bc they’re some of the most well-written works i’ve read on here, and i honestly aspire to write like you lol ,, but ahem anyways :D thanks, beam, for all the fun memories so far ,, i can’t wait for what the future holds and to make even more memories tgt <3 i love you <3

[ @ljeyes / @enhasfever ] — ari <3 i don’t want this to make you feel pressured to return anytime soon, but it would feel wrong leaving you out of this post since you’ve made such a huge impact on my life here on this blog. you were my first ever moot on here, and i remember reading your works and just being stunned by your style and talent ,,, still to this day, almost whenever i read any fics on here, i think of you and still just wonder how anyone could be so talented. like i still look up to you sm. you’re like an older sister to me and a role model, and i’ve learned sm from you. you’ve provided me with so many fun memories, and ahhh omg i miss you sm :(((( come back 🥺 jk i already told you i don’t want this to pressure you, but ah i rlly, rlly miss you, ari :( i hope you’re doing well :( thank you for being one of my best friends on here :( i love you so much, and truly, thank you for everything you’ve done for me <333

these got so long, i got so carried away ahaha as i write this it’s now already 2:30 am- oops lol i wasn’t even planning on writing individual messages for all y’all but it felt wrong not including them, so ,, yeah. in other words though, if the messages were too long ,, i love you guys and it’s rlly hard to put into just one paragraph how grateful i am for you 🥹🫶🏻

but anyways, this and sm more has happened within just one year of me being here ,, it makes me wonder what else awaits in the future and what new things i’ll experience and who else i’ll meet this upcoming year <3

anyway, i’m still at it, and y’all have helped me stay motivated and to keep on writing, and so thank you for all your support and kind words. i see and read every single one of them <3 you all have helped me grow confidence and challenged me to write a lot this past year, but it’s been rlly good <3

sending you each the fattest virtual hug rn <33 thank you for one fantastic year, you guys <3 it makes me infinitely more excited for the next <3

#we made it y’all woot woot 🥳 #i have sm love for y’all and i’m so grateful for every one of you for joining me and showing me sm love on this journey so far 🫶🏻 #thank you for such an incredible year <3 #i love you tons <333 #em speaks #lovely moots #1 year anniversary #milestone

[the-captain-sushi]

Another survey because why not?

MBTI Bold survey (This is by no means supposed to be used to figure out what your actual MBTI type is! You can find out what yours is through online tests or careful self-analysis. This is but a very simple Tumblr bold survey to kill some time, based mostly on each type’s most common characteristics.) Bold what you identify with:

INTJ You think being ambitious is actually a positive trait. You are ambitious yourself. Learning how things work interests you. You consider yourself to be a rational person. You tend to be rather clueless when it comes to flirting. It’s hard to control your perfectionism. People have said you’re too judgmental before. You’re usually pretty self-confident. You’re hardworking and try not to slack off too much.

INTP You’re very creative. You prefer to be honest and straightforward about things. You tend to be a private person. Being left alone with your thoughts is often refreshing. People have considered you a weirdo before. You have a hard time expressing your feelings. You tend to be the sceptic one. It’s harder for you to believe in something that isn’t a fact. You’re really interested in science.

ENTJ You have little patience for stupid people. You have little patience for people in general. You come across as arrogant sometimes. You’re usually the leader of the group. Shy is something that you definitely aren’t. People have said you’re inspiring before. You never give up until you’ve tried everything you can. You wouldn’t mind being the boss of a team. You are often stubborn.

ENTP Debating excites you rather than scare you. You usually seize the opportunity to give your opinion on a topic. You enjoy learning about all sorts of different things for fun. You talk a lot in social situations… …Especially when what is being discussed is something you like. You’re good at brainstorming. You find it hard to focus on one thing at a time. You get bored too easily. You greatly dislike routine. INFJ You believe in the paranormal/supernatural. Life would be a lot better if we lived in a world with magic. You’re very passionate about the things you care about. You’re usually altruistic. You’re very sensitive about criticism. You prefer to keep your private life to yourself. You can be too idealistic sometimes. Your perfectionism can be a problem. Fantasy stories are your favorite.

INFP You’re usually open-minded and flexible. You enjoy writing. You enjoy the arts in general. Working on things that require creativity is fun to you. You’re usually the peacemaker among your friends. Taking things too personally is one of your flaws. You get sensitive easily. People think you’re difficult to get to know. You feel really bad when you can’t help someone.

ENFJ You’re the friend people come to for advice. You’re very tolerant of different points of view. People say you’re the “natural leader” type. You can keep your cool in a stressful situation. You’ve gotten into fights on the behalf of your friends before. Your self-esteem is either up high or down low. Making decisions is very complicated for you. You’ve been considered naive before. ENFP You’re way too curious. You’d be willing to try anything once. You’re always up for an adventure or exploring. You’re very observant of your surroundings. Making friends is easy for you. Your mind tends to hop from one thing to another without focusing. You tend to overthink too much. ISTJ Honesty is the best policy to you. You do your best to meet your obligations. People sometimes are amazed by how patient you can be. You’re usually very responsible, or try to be. It’s hard for you to lose your temper. You’re often very hard on yourself, especially when something goes wrong. Once you have your mind set on something, it’s hard to change it. You prefer routine over trying new things.

ISFJ You’re the “mother” of your group of friends. You’re usually quiet in social situations. Taking care of others is something you genuinely love to do. Your feelings can get hurt way too easily. You often get out of your way to make people happier. You’re quite shy. You repress your feelings way too often. Change is something you prefer to avoid. You’ve gotten in trouble for being too nice for your own good before.

ESTJ You finish most of the things you start. You get shit done, period. You’re a very organized person. You prefer to stick to what you know works better. People have considered you a traditional person before. You can get aggressive when defending your ideas and principles. It’s hard for you to just relax. You hate to admit that the opinion of others matters a lot to you. ESFJ You’re a sensitive and warm person. You’ve done charity before. You feel terrible at the mere possibility that you’ve hurt someone’s feelings. You end up apologizing a lot. People can confide you with their secrets knowing you’ll take them to your grave. Being needy is a problem you have sometimes. You get insecure easily. If a stranger strikes up conversation with you and starts ranting about something bad in their life, you’ll listen with genuine interest and want to cheer them up. ISTP You tend to be optimistic about life. You’re actually a very logical person. You aren’t afraid to get your hands dirty when the situation gets tough. You’re usually quite relaxed. Worrying about the future is pointless, so you just live the present. It takes a lot to scare you. Sometimes it’s almost like you have no sense of self-preservation. Commitment is not something you’re very comfortable with. ISFP You’re very artistic. It’s very important for you to pursue your passion. You avoid conflict at all costs and try to keep it minimum. Science may interest you, but it’s not something you’re crazy about. You’re the chill one in the group. When things get stressed, your go-to reaction is to shut down emotionally. You’re sensitive and cry pretty easily. Competition thrills you instead of scaring you. ESTP Socializing is fun for you. You’re a go-getter for the most part. Mind games are not your thing - you prefer to communicate clearly. You like to stand out and be original in your looks or style. Emotionally charged situations are awkward for you. You’re prone to rebelling and being defiant. “Carpe diem” is a quote you live by. People have said you seem insensitive before. ESFP You have very good people skills. You bring your artistic side into your words, actions, clothes, hair etc.

You’re talkative, and sometimes talk way too much for your own good. Traditional people are usually boring to you. You love change. You’re really bad at planning long-term. You struggle a lot with things that require you to sit still and quiet. You need things to be exciting in order to get you motivated.

#survey

[sylvctica]

KNOWING YOUR PARTNER WELL CAN POTENTIALLY MAKE WRITING TOGETHER A LOT EASIER. ( REPOST DO NOT REBLOG ! )

✿ NAME:   aid! what i’m most known as, shorthand for Asuraid which is just my online handle in most places.

✿ PRONOUNS:   she / her!

✿ PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION:   mmm, mostly thru tumblr IMs / post replies? obvs discord is the best, but because i’m so low spoons for social energy i am a lot more picky with adding people there. :[

✿ NAME OF MUSE(S):   sylvie and my gaymer boy oc! tho i’m not very active on him, i do still have access to his account.

✿ EXPERIENCE/HOW LONG (MONTHS / YEARS?):   uhh, overall i started roleplaying when i was around 12-13 on devART, moving onto tumblr circa 2013 ( so i was around uh ... 14ish? ). so i’ve been writing on here for almost a decade at this rate LMAO ...

✿ PLATFORMS YOU’VE USED:   skype, discord, tumblr, devART, iphone messages, msn for like one person ... never tried my hand at forums, or rather i did early on and dropped it because the format was odd for me w/multiple people going on at once.

✿ BEST EXPERIENCE:   honestly getting to meet the people i talk to now, esp @afacere since we’ve been at the hip for years now; a lot of Hideki has been influenced by her, and we’ve been each other’s friend support pillars for years. honestly, taking the plunge to bring sylvie to tumblr ( since i had been in a heavy hiatus at that point off hideki ) also counts here.

✿ RP PET PEEVES/DEALBREAKERS:   tiny fonts, tiny themes / docs / carrds ... thankfully it’s not terribly prevalent but sometimes i do come across some of them where you either can’t read the text well because it’s too small, or it’s too blended into the background / too contrasting, so it hurts to look at, or the background is misaligned to the text box because other resolutions werent taken into account and i wanna bite my own arm off because it’s like ... pls. this is what ppl see first and where your primary info is. thankfully, dash view mitigates it for themes, but it makes me take -10 hp of damage.

✿ FLUFF, ANGST OR SMUT:   mmm, i guess fluff? mostly just due to sylvie’s personality, i do tend to lean more into silly light-hearted stuff. angst i do enjoy but it’s harder for me to write just cause i’m slow and for angst i really need to do it in the moment of it happening to feel it. smut ... i dont write on here ueueueue. sylvie does fucc tho.

✿ PLOTS OR MEMES:   memes, mostly because over the years i feel like i’ve lost my brain for generating plots. not that im not up for it!!! im just ... very, very very slow and work off spontaneous stuff better ( and discussing stuff more in depth ooc ). i bounce better off an existing base rather than no base.

✿ LONG OR SHORT REPLIES:   mostly short since im often pretty tired, so dash commentary is pretty prevalent. that’s not to say im not open to long replies!!! i enjoy writing them, they just take a lot of spoons for me the longer they are ... though sometimes stuff unintentionally gets long because sylvie rambles.

✿ BEST TIME TO WRITE:   whenever my brain doesn’t feel like death ... it really is sporadic, though most of my writing time ends up being at night because that’s when it’s the quietest and i’m free ( ... almost, my parents are playing a loudass movie rn even at 1am ). otherwise i do just write when i feel the muse for it.

✿ ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S):   to a degree? it’s hard not to put aspects of yourself in an oc, even if subconsciously. sylvie is more-so what i aspire to be in confidence, but we do have some overlap ... especially in our humour. their unfiltered thoughts are my unfiltered thoughts, but i just have a filter to keep them in LMAOOO. we also deviate off topics very easily and ramble about things.

#[ aint monday but i wanted to yoink it ] #OOC // ABOUT AID.

[sohoharlem]

don’t think a wife is on his front mind. Maybe long term partner. // yeah I don’t think he will even get married but i do hope he will have children ☹️

Thanks for the articulate answer i loved it.

I think the fact that some fans are still obsessed with her says more about them that ale tbh. She had some weird behaviours and if i was her i would have done things differently since july 4th 2020 lmao but at the same time we dont know what’s going on between them and i think this is what some fans can’t understand

I don’t think their rs was that serious, they (he maybe) were attracted to each other and enjoyed to spend some times together. But if it was serious it wouldn’t have ended in the ABSURD way it did

When i say im afraid for his next gf it’s because way before ale’s CA was discovered someone here edited a pic of her to make it seems she did blackface 😅 some of them will still be jealous of the new one and some will just make up random shit to make him look bad. And while i like some social activity because well… im curious… i think he will asks the next one to keep it quiet

Yes. I think my response can apply to any fandom honestly. There will always be jealous fans and there will always be something brought up because it’s actually true and not because of jealousy. The next girl could be the cleanest and most morally correct person on arrival and something will always be either created or found to turn it around. The last two girls in his life were definitely justified for calling them racist, but the fake black face was stupid on the fan’s part. It should’ve never been done, but someone did it because they wanted to initially make her look that way from the very start. But that’s how it is until something legit is ever found, if it is. Which is AO’s case, something legit was found. Same for Ellie Ross. Fans always find something and will try to find something. There’s no escaping that, and joining a fandom you’ve got to deal with that because it won’t go away. That’s when the question of do you want to stick around comes to play. And who knows. Maybe the next girlfriend will be like Ellie and change to a private Instagram. Maybe we won’t even know about her at all. Who the fuck knows. But I don’t think getting scared about the drama that will ensue is something to get worked up about. There’s no point. There will always be drama. She could be totally unproblematic and there will still be drama because something can be warped or some one will not like something the way the girl did it, etc know what I mean? I guess it’s more up to you choosing how you want to intake things people say online and how much attention you’ll pay to it and how it affects you etc etc. I think the gossip and social media always makes the drama seem crazier and more complex than it need to be. Or should I say, it makes it seem like it’s harder to deal with than it needs to be. Obviously, sometimes the criticism, distaste, wanting them to take responsibility for a terrible thing they didC and disappointment in the girl is highly justifiable, but everyone is responsible for their own media and gossip absorption when it comes to how much of the drama you want to take in.

[agape-bakery]

Hi ! I love your blog and your idea to make a bakery is just awesome ^-^ anyway how are you ? I hope you have a good day :) I'm here to request a female mc who love drawing. And i wonder if you can make brothers react to mc who draw them when they're sleeping, eating or i don't know like you want. If you can of vourse it's not an obligation :3

I wish you a good day \(^-^)/

💫

Thank you so much! I really enjoy the location-themed blogs here like Cafes and such so I'm happy you think the same! I'm doing good! And also, YESS!! I love Artist MCs/Y/Ns because I'm an artist myself! I hope you enjoy these!

The Brothers with an F! MC who draws

Lucifer

He already knew you love to draw and didn't mind that, at least that's one good hobby someone has on his list compared to gambling and parties

If there is something Lucifer appreciates about humans, it's their art and cultures, he might take you to art museums for inspiration and have a date in a cafe and talk to you about the paintings you both saw

If art museums are not your thing, he would be a little disappointed but then again, some artists like more modern artworks and some that are shown online so he understands

And frankly, having you draw him makes him immensely proud of himself for having a talented girlfriend like you, he doesn't ask that you draw him but he secretly wants to

Lucifer occasionally buys art supplies for you but only if you've been good

"So you joined Mammon on going to the casino to draw the people there?"

"Pretty much...."

"Hmm.. I guess you aren't going to get some Copics from me anytime soon."

"WHAT-"

Lucifer is also observant and knows when and who you're drawing immediately

"I can see you staring at me."

His eyes looked up at yours as you looked away, pencil in hand.

"No, I'm not."

He's seen you glance at him several times before looking down at your sketchbook.

It was breakfast and you were sat between a sleeping Belphie and a distracted Beel so you took the time to draw the eldest when no one's looking.

Lucifer hummed and told Beel not to eat so messily as you continued to draw him.

Lucifer has seen many sketches of him and the brothers and when you give him some as a gift, he keeps it well-protected somewhere that Mammon can't steal in his bedroom.

Mammon

He absolutely cherishes every drawing you have, the boy keeps a doodle of him and you as a good luck charm too <3

He might ask that you do commissions and he gets some of it (for giving the idea and managing the commissions-) but one glare and he'll shut up with a nervous chuckle and an "H-hey! It's just a joke!"

When Mammon sees you staring at some art supplies, he checks it again when he's alone and dies inside because of the price and buys it immediately, he doesn't care if he loses a lot of money only a little bit, all he wants is to see your face when he gives it to you

"You better be grateful that The Great Mammon even thought of giving this to you!... Do-don't look at me like that! It was on sale!!"

While Mammon was napping on his couch, you hastily opened your sketchbook and started sketching him and the boy never realized

By the time he woke up, you were already finished doing 5 sketches of him and taking pictures of him for reference

"Oi! What are you doing? Gimme that!"

His heart completely melts because??? you drew him so good??? his girlfriend drew him???? for free??? and out of love????

He also draws you but it's just a stickman with a messy face but you still love it all the same

Leviathan

Finally...another Artist...AND HIS GIRLFRIEND NO LESS!!

He's so happy and giddy to show off his art supplies but he's hesitant when it comes to showing off his art because he thinks it's horrible compared to yours

You encourage him and usually learn together with him whenever he feels awful about his art

He's the Avatar of Envy so there are many times where he's compared himself to other artists so you had to be there to keep him grounded

Art Date, anyone??

It doesn't matter whether you buy art supplies or just take a break from school, it was always nice being around Leviathan

You took the chance to draw him while he was across from you and excitedly showed it to him

He had drawn himself (albeit, in a persona) in many games and animes but your drawing was more special than anything he's ever done

He looked away, avoiding eye contact as he gave you his own drawing which was you in your favorite video game

From now on, whenever the both of you wanted to give small gifts, you draw each other!! <3

Satan

A demon who enjoys impressionism art, there's something about the dreamy landscapes and colors that really makes him calm aside from reading

I think he would paint for a change of pace but gets frustrated because of how difficult it is so he goes back to reading

So watching you draw makes him impressed, drawing takes so much time to master

He doesn't mind whatever art style you have, aside from the impressionism style, he would have yours as his favorite

He understands the pain of art block so he often invites you in his room, one where the others wouldn't bother you, just don't touch anything or else you'll turn into some random animal for a few hours

He also encourages that you read with him when you're uninspired! Reading helps the imagination and the mind, and he'd be happy to recommend some for you!

You trust him with your sketchbooks and he trusts you with his books! The both of you knew the other wouldn't do anything which is why he only lets you inside his room

While Satan makes a drink for you, humming an old song in his DDD, you drew him in overalls and glasses

When you were bored, you would always draw your boyfriend in random outfits and would often show it to him (which he all loves)

"Overalls and Glasses, huh? I might wear it tomorrow." Satan grins, peeking at your sketchbook as he puts down the drinks.

Don't get your hopes too high, he isn't going to wear a maid outfit........yet-

Asmodeus

Oh? You draw? Wellll, if you need a model, he's happy to be your own personal model, but it comes with a price ;)

He loves that you draw! And would ask you to draw him

There's many artworks he likes but yours he enjoys the most, even if you aren't his girlfriend

Might ask you if you can design outfits and draw him in certain outfits so he can try them out!

Of course, drawing is not an easy feat so he'll pay you handsomely~

If you do commissions, he gets one just so he can support you

He knows that art doesn't pay much yet it is so overlooked by others

"Everywhere is art, darling, I'm surprised some humans don't know that! Of course, I'm the most beautiful art there is but I'll have you as second~"

He might blush if you draw him without him asking, he think he's desirable enough to draw without a price! After hearing that you just love him might make him blush harder! Aww, you!

He'll give you several pecks as he laughs after seeing your drawing of him! One where he was posing in one of the photos you had of him during your dates

Anatomy is hard so if you want a nude model, he'll volunteer on the spot, sure he has thoughts but if you're fully intent on getting better, he's happy to help!

Beelzebub

He's not the type to focus on art so he doesn't understand it much, that doesn't mean he isn't impressed though!

He has heard of Food Art and Food Illustrations though...Based by the Arty Event, he seems to be good at drawing food! He wanted to try it more but Lucifer forbid him in case he would eat the paper and get chemical poisoning or something-

However, if you could also draw food, he would be so delighted!!! He won't eat it, he promises!

It's fine if you don't, though, he expects that you might not understand working out and sports like he doesn't understand art

Might be clueless if ever you feel bad about your drawings, he thinks it looks really good! But upon hearing how frustrated you are, he would give you hugs to comfort you!

While Beel is a oblivious sweetheart, he fully supports your hobbies and would invite you to diners and restaurants so you can draw while he eats! He might even join you while he's eating

As he eats a huge cheeseburger, you drew him, smiling at how happy he looked

When you gave it to him, he told you how spot on you drew him when he eats and keeps it around him, he avoids it getting dirty at any cost

Belphie suggested that gets a photo frame so he bought one! Now your drawing of him lays on his bedrest safely~

Belphegor

He used to love art as much as Satan and Lucifer does but he doesn't anymore, not until you showed him your drawings

You rekindled a small flame in him that he never thought would come back

He doesn't draw because it's way too much work but he enjoys hearing you draw, the sound the pencil makes when it moves around the paper, and the smell of lead and paper makes him sleepy

He secretly likes those papers that have a nice smell in them so you buy some whenever you go out to get some art supplies

"That's way too many sketchbooks, MC."

"Nothing is way too much-"

Because he always sleeps around you, he doesn't entirely realize that you have a bunch of drawings of him in your sketchbook

It makes him warm when he sees your drawings of him

He wishes he could do more to support you even if you tell him he doesn't have to so like Beel, he keeps your drawings near his bed and looks at it before he sleeps

#writer's block hhnnngh #drawing all 7 brothers was a task HAHAHA #I didn't expect it to be that difficult #all of them are shorter than i like it to be but i hope it suffices #obey me #obey me x reader #obey me x mc #obey me lucifer x reader #obey me mammon x reader #obey me leviathan x reader #obey me satan x reader #obey me asmodeus x reader #obey me beelzebub x reader #obey me belphegor x reader #obey me headcanons #obey me imagines #obey me scenarios #anon request #anon ask #lucifer #mammon #leviathan #satan #asmodeus #beelzebub #belphegor #lucifer x reader #mammon x reader #leviathan x reader #satan x reader

[writerbuddha]

George Lucas on attachment from 1999 to 2021

BILL MOYERS: Do you know yet what, in a future episode, is going to transform Anakin Skywalker to the dark side?

GEORGE LUCAS: Yes, I know what that is. The groundwork has been laid in this episode. The film is ultimately about the dark side and the light side, and those sides are designed around compassion and greed. The issue of greed, of getting things and owning things and having things and not being able to let go of things, is the opposite of compassion--of not thinking of yourself all the time. These are the two sides--the good force and the bad force. They're the simplest parts of a complex cosmic construction.

George Lucas and Bill Moyers 1999, Time Magazine (http://content.time.com/time/subscriber/article/0,33009,990820-2,00.html)

GEORGE LUCAS: He turns into Darth Vader because he gets attached to things. He can't let go of his mother; he can't let go of his girlfriend. He can't let go of things. It makes you greedy. And when you're greedy, you are on the path to the dark side, because you fear you're going to lose things, that you're not going to have the power you need.

George Lucas to Time Magazine April, 2002 (http://content.time.com/time/subscriber/article/0,33009,1002323-3,00.html)

GEORGE LUCAS: In this film, (Phantom Menace) you begin to see that he has a fear of losing things, a fear of losing his mother, and as a result, he wants to begin to control things, he wants to become powerful, and these are not Jedi traits. And part of these are because he was starting to be trained so late in life, that he'd already formed these attachments. And for a Jedi, attachment is forbidden.

George Lucas to CNN, May 8, 2002 (https://edition.cnn.com/2002/SHOWBIZ/Movies/05/07/ca.s02.george.lucas/index.html)

GEORGE LUCAS: Jedi Knights aren’t celibate – the thing that is forbidden is attachments – and possessive relationships.

George Lucas to BBC, May 12, 2002 (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/1989505.stm)

GEORGE LUCAS: Well, a lot of people got very upset, saying he should’ve been this little demon kid. But the story is not about a guy who was born a monster – it’s about a good boy who was loving and had exceptional powers, but how that eventually corrupted him and how he confused possessive love with compassionate love. That happens in Episode II: Regardless of how his mother died, Jedis are not supposed to take vengeance. And that’s why they say he was too old to be a Jedi, because he made his emotional connections. His undoing is that he loveth too much.

George Lucas to Rolling Stones, 2005 (https://www.rollingstone.com/movies/movie-news/george-lucas-and-the-cult-of-darth-vader-247142/)

GEORGE LUCAS: The core issue, ultimately, is greed, possessiveness - the inability to let go. Not only to hold on to material things, which is greed, but to hold on to life, to the people you love - to not accept the reality of life’s passages and changes, which is to say things come, things go. Everything changes. Anakin becomes emotionally attached to things, his mother, his wife. That’s why he falls - because he does not have the ability to let go.

No human can let go. It’s very hard. Ultimately, we do let go because it’s inevitable; you do die, and you do lose your loved ones. But while you’re alive, you can’t be obsessed with holding on. As Yoda says in this one, [The scene in which Anakin seeks Yoda’s counsel] You must learn to let go of everything you’re afraid to let go of.’ Because holding on is in the same category and the precursor to greed. And that’s what a Sith is. A Sith is somebody that is absolutely obsessed with gaining more and more power - but for what? Nothing, except that it becomes an obsession to get more. The Jedi are trained to let go. They’re trained from birth, they’re not supposed to form attachments. They can love people- in fact, they should love everybody. They should love their enemies; they should love the Sith. But they can’t form attachments. So, what all these movies are about is: greed. Greed is a source of pain and suffering for everybody. And the ultimate state of greed is the desire to cheat death.

J. W. Rinzel - The Making of Revenge of the Sith page 213, published in 2005

GEORGE LUCAS: Anakin wants to be a Jedi, but he cannot let go of the people he loves in order to move forward in his life. The Jedi believe that you don’t hold on to things, that you let things pass through you, and if you can control your greed, you can resolve the conflict not only in yourself but in the world around you, because you accept the natural course of things. Anakin’s inability to follow this basic guideline is at the core of his turn to the Dark Side.

George Lucas to sci-fi online, 2005 (http://www.sci-fi-online.com/Interview/05-11-01_GeorgeLucas.htm)

GEORGE LUCAS: Love is a secret to the universe, which is compassion, which is love others, take care of others, help each other. (…) Struggle in Star Wars is about passion against compassion. Which is greed, against giving and giving up primarily and the whole issue is the flipside of greed is fear of losing. So you are either trying to get things or afraid to lose things that you’ve got and the idea is to let go of those things." - George Lucas, 2007, Devin Kumar Productions (http://www.devinkumar.com/interview-with-george-lucas/)

GEORGE LUCAS: The fact that everything must change and that things come and go through his life and that he cannot hold onto things, which is a basic Jedi philosophy that he isn't willing to accept emotionally and the reason that is because he was raised by his mother rather than the Jedi. If he'd have been taken in his first years and started to study to be a Jedi, he wouldn’t have this particular connection as strong as it is and he'd have been trained to love people but not to become attached to them.

But he become attached to his mother and he will become attached to Padme and these things are, for a Jedi, who needs to have a clear mind and not be influenced by threats to their attachments, a dangerous situation. And it feeds into fear of losing things, which feeds into greed, wanting to keep things, wanting to keep his possessions and things that he should be letting go of. His fear of losing her turns to anger at losing her, which ultimately turns to revenge in wiping out the village. The scene with the Tusken Raiders is the first scene that ultimately takes him on the road to the dark side. I mean he’s been prepping for this, but that’s the one where he’s sort of doing something that is completely inappropriate.

He’s greedy in that he wants to keep his mother around, he’s greedy in that he wants to become more powerful in order to control things in order to keep the things around that he wants. There’s a lot of connections here with the beginning of him sliding into the Dark Side.

(...)

Because of that, and because he was unwilling to let go of his mother, because he was so attached to her, he committed this terrible revenge on the tusked raiders.

George Lucas, Attack of the Clones DVD audio-commentary, 2008

GEORGE LUCAS: It’s fear of losing somebody he loves, which is the flipside of greed. Greed, in terms of the Emperor, it is the greed for power, absolute power, over everything. With Anakin, really, it’s the power to save the one he loves, but is basically going against the Fates and what is natural.

George Lucas, Revenge of the Sith DVD audio-commentary, 2008

GEORGE LUCAS: It’s pivotal that Luke doesn’t have patience. He doesn’t want to finish his training. He’s being succumbed by his emotional feelings for his friends rather than the practical feelings of “I’ve got to get this job done before I can actually save them. I can’t save them, really.” But he sorts of takes the easy route, the arrogant route, the emotional but least practical route, which is to say, “I’m just going to go off and do this without thinking too much.” And the result is that he fails and doesn’t do well for Han Solo or himself. It’s the motif that needs to be in the picture, but it’s one of those things that just in terms of storytelling was very risky because basically he screws up, and everything turns bad. And it’s because of that decision that Luke made on [Dagobah] to say, “I know I’m not ready, but I’m going to go anyway.

George Lucas, Empire Strikes Back DVD audio-commentary, 2008

GEORGE LUCAS: The core of the Force–I mean, you got the dark side, the light side, one is selfless, one is selfish, and you wanna keep them in balance. What happens when you go to the dark side is it goes out of balance and you get really selfish and you forget about everybody … because when you get selfish you get stuff, or you want stuff, and when you want stuff and you get stuff then you are afraid somebody is going to take it away from you, whether it’s a person or a thing or a particular pleasure or experience.

Once you become afraid that somebody’s going to take it away from you or you’re gonna lose it, then you start to become angry, especially if you’re losing it, and that anger leads to hate, and hate leads to suffering. Mostly on the part of the person who’s selfish, because you spend all your time being afraid of losing everything you’ve got instead of actually living. Where joy, by giving to other people you can’t think about yourself, and therefore there’s no pain. But the pleasure factor of greed and of selfishness is a short-lived experience, therefore you’re constantly trying to replenish it, but of course the more you replenish it, the harder it is to, so you have to keep upping the ante. You’re actually afraid of the pain of not having the joy. So that is ultimately the core of the whole dark side/light side of the Force. And everything flows from that. Obviously the Sith are always unhappy because they never get enough of anything they want. Mostly, their selfishness centers around power and control. And the struggle is always to be able to let go of all that stuff. And of course that’s the problem with Anakin ultimately. You’re allowed to love people, but you’re not allowed to possess them. And what he did is he fell in love and married her and then became jealous. Then he saw in his visions that she was going to die, and he couldn’t stand losing her. So in order to not lose her, he made a pact with the devil to be able to become all-powerful. When he did that, she didn’t want to have anything to do with him anymore, so he lost her. Once you are powerful, being able to bring her back from the dead, if I can do that, I can become emperor of the universe. I can get rid of the Emperor. I can make everything the way I want it. Once you do that, you’ll never be satiated. You’re always going to be consumed by this driving desire to have more stuff and be afraid that others are going to take it away from you. And they are. Every time you get two Sith together, you have the master, the apprentice, and the apprentice is always trying to recruit another apprentice to join with him to kill the master. The master knows that basically everybody below him wants his job. Only way to overcome the dark side is through discipline. The dark side is pleasure, biological and temporary and easy to achieve. The light side is joy, everlasting and difficult to achieve. A great challenge. Must overcome laziness, give up quick pleasures, and overcome fear which leads to hate.

George Lucas, explaining the Force to the Clone Wars writing team, 2010 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9nFMBBrliyQ&t=41s&ab_channel=StarWarsCoffee)

GEORGE LUCAS: When you start to care about yourself and the things that you own and the things that you have and you’re greedy and you want things all the time and you don’t want to give them up because you’re afraid to give them up, you turn to the dark side. And that’s what happened to Anakin.

George Lucas Q&A: Field Museum, Chicago 5/8/2010 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRaVjM_goKM)

GEORGE LUCAS: The thing about Anakin is, Anakin started out as a nice kid. He was kind, and sweet, and lovely, and he was then trained as a Jedi. But the Jedi can’t be selfish. They can love but they can’t love people to the point of possession. You can’t really possess somebody, because people are free. It’s possession that causes a lot of trouble, and that causes people to kill people, and causes people to be bad. Ultimately it has to do with being unwilling to give things up.

The whole basis here is if you’re selfish, if you’re a Sith Lord, you’re greedy. You’re constantly trying to get something. And you’re constantly in fear of not getting it, or, when you get it, you’re in constant fear of losing it. And it’s that fear that takes you to the dark side. It’s that fear of losing what you have or want.

Sometimes it’s ambition, but sometimes, like in the case of Anakin, it was fear of losing his wife. He knew she was going to die. He didn’t quite know how, so he was able to make a pact with a devil that if he could learn how to keep people from dying, he would help the Emperor. And he became a Sith Lord. Once he started saying, “Well, we could take over the galaxy, I could take over from the Emperor, I could have ultimate power,” Padmé saw right through him immediately. She said, “You’re not the person I married. You’re a greedy person.” So that’s ultimately how he fell and he went to the dark side.

And then Luke had the chance to do the same thing. He didn’t do it.

George Lucas, 2019 (https://www.starwars.com/news/star-wars-episode-i-the-phantom-menace-oral-history)

GEORGE LUCAS: They (the Jedi) trained more than anything else to understand the transitional nature of life, that things are constantly changing and you can't hold on to anything. You can love things but you can't be attached to them, You must be willing to let the flow of life and the flow of the Force move through your life, move through you. So that you can be compassionate and loving and caring, but not be possessive and grabbing and holding on to things and trying to keep things the way they are. Letting go is the central theme of the film."

George Lucas, "Star Wars Archives 1999-2005" p. 72-73 (2020)

GEORGE LUCAS: Luke is faced with the same issues and practically the same scenes that Anakin is faced with. Anakin says yes, and Luke says no. (…) We have the scene when Anakin decides to save Palpatine and join him, so they could learn how to save Padmé. The equivalent scene in VI is when the Emperor’s trying to get Luke to kill his dad so he can save his sister.”

George Lucas, "Star Wars Archives 1999-2005" p. 421 and p. 212. (2020)

GEORGE LUCAS: The secret ultimately like in Star Wars is that you have to not be afraid. Fear is the enemy; fear is the Dark Side. If you afraid, you are going to the Dark Side. The Light Side is compassion. As long as you love other people and treat them kindly, you won't be afraid. So, the secret is to just love everybody - I know that sounds very 60s but that's what I grew up in - but it its fear that cause the problem. So you have to stop being afraid and be kind to everybody.

(...)

The main theme of Star Wars is that compassion is the good side, fear is the bad side.

(...)

I kind of lost control of Star Wars so it’s going off a different path than what I intended but the first six are very much mine and my philosophy. And I think that philosophy sort of goes beyond any particular time because it’s based on history it based on philosophy. (...)

The thing with Anakin is that he started out a great kid he was very compassionate , so the issue was how did he turn bad. How did he go to the Dark Side? He went to the Dark Side, Jedi aren’t supposed to have attachments. They can love people, they can do that, but they can’t attach, that’s the problem in the world of fear. Once you are attached to something then you become afraid of losing it. And when you become afraid of losing it, then you turn to the Dark Side, and you want to hold onto it, and that was Anakin’s issue ultimately, that he wanted to hold onto his wife who he knew, he had a premonition that she was going to die, he didn’t know how to stop it, so he went to the Dark Side to find, in mythology you do to hades, and you talk to the devil, and the devil says ‘this is what you do’ and basically you sell your soul to the devil. When you do that, and you’re afraid and you’re on the Dark Side and you fall off the golden path of compassion because you are greedy, you want to hold on to something that you love and he didn’t do the right thing and as a result he turned bad.

Mellody Hobson, George Lucas - Virtual Speaker Interview (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wRqVdcE5oyI)

GEORGE LUCAS WAS ALWAYS CLEAR ABOUT THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LOVE AND ATTACHMENT, AND HOW "PREQUEL-ERA" JEDI PHILOSOPHY WORKS.

#george lucas #anakin skywalker #jedi culture #jedi order #attachment #love without attachment #star wars prequels #star wars #luke skywalker #light side #canon

[tsukishumai]

sakusa kiyoomi x gn!reader word count: 1.8k tags: fluff, slight internal turmoil, accidental confession (kind of) summary; Why should Sakusa care if you make plans with his captain? a/n: for my bby @imarizaki

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“I’m going to the cafe with Tsukasa-senpai this weekend.”

Sakusa couldn’t stop the words from repeating in his head as he jumped up and hit his serve. He winced at the impact, the force of it being much harder than he had intended. The flick of his wrist sent the ball flying over to the opposite side of the gym, crashing loudly against the metal bars that protected the windows.

Sakusa bent over to place his hands on his knees, and sighed deeply.

You had looked so excited about your upcoming plans, and the image of your beaming smile suddenly flashed in his mind. He supposes he should feel some sort of happiness for you, but at the moment, the only word he could use to describe his emotions would be frustration.

He always thought volleyball managers were useless. His teams always had one, and they hardly ever did anything other than compliment his serves and gave him water.

But perhaps that said more about his previous classmates than it did about the job itself, because ever since he’s been on this team with you, he’s not sure he could have it any other way.

He remembers when he walked into practice, three weeks into your stint as their manager. You’ve gotten into the habit of wearing a mask during practice, the black cloth fitted snugly across your face as you happily bounced over to speak with him.

“I researched different wrist exercises online,” you had said, handing him a stack of paper you had printed, “These seemed to be the ones that had worked out well for others.”

He nodded his head in thanks, not telling you that he already has these exact exercises memorized -- appreciating the effort you had put into helping his game.

He thinks back to when he arrived back from a training camp in a sour mood; feeling angry, frustrated, and insecure at the rate of his growth in comparison to the famous Ushiwaka. He grabbed his issue of monthly volleyball from his locker, flipping it open to the aforementioned ace’s page when his lips burst into an incredibly uncharacteristic smile.

On his rival’s photograph were devil horns drawn on his head, his front tooth blacked out and his eyebrows penned into a unibrow, your writing nearly inscripting “Ushiwaka Stinks! Sakusa Rocks!”

As he walks back to the volleyball cart, his mind wanders to when you let him borrow your manager notebook, and as he flipped the pages filled to the brim with your scribbles, he realizes that you were taking notes on much more than just Itachiyama players — your attention to detail had left him in a state of awe. Though, now he’s figuring out that you seem to do that just by existing.

It dawns on him that he seeks your attention past your daily scheduled practices. His routine has changed, and instead of eating his lunch in empty classrooms, he walks out to the courtyard of his school, passed the crowds of people and to a bench situated under a tree, so he can find you saving a spot for him next to you.

Every time he hears his phone buzz, he wishes it was you. Every time he wins a game, he looks to see if you’re watching him. His so-called useless manager.

He feels more uneasy as he wonders why he’s even thinking about such things in the first place. He turns and grabs another ball before taking his position behind the end line.

If you wanted to go to a cafe with tsukasa-senpai, then you had every right to do it. Who was he to be upset about it? Wait, was he upset? The sinking feeling in his gut and the irritation swelling in his chest tells him that he is.

But why? It’s not like it was a date. Or was it? But you just said you were going to the cafe. You never told him it was a date.

So what if it was?

Sakusa throws the ball into the air, and smacks his palm against the blue and yellow leather. The stinging in his palm matched the velocity of which it flew across the room yet again, and he curses at his lack of control.

“You’re still here?”

He snaps his head to the doorway, the echo of your voice mingling with the bouncing of the volleyball reverberating on the walls.

“I thought you went home,” he said, walking to his bag placed on the bench, grabbing a towel to wipe the sweat off his forehead.

“Something told me to come check on you before I left,” you said, walking into the gym.

“Well, you should get going,” he said, in a much sharper tone than he had intended, “It’s getting dark.”

He ignored the way you frowned as he grabbed yet another volleyball, and repeating the same movements he has done for the past half hour since practice ended. He could feel the way your eyes burned into his back as he landed gracefully on his feet, clicking his tongue when his ball not-so-gracefully catches into the net.

“What’s up with you,” you quip, crossing your arms and popping your hip, “First, you ignore me all day, now you won’t even walk home with me?”

Your question only serves to confuse him even further. Is not walking home together now considered an odd thing? Since when did that happen? Had he really been so lost in your presence that he didn’t notice? He hadn’t realized things had gotten this far -- to him, time with you never felt like it was enough. And right now, he’s not sure if he likes that. Not when the end result is this.

He didn’t reply, choosing instead to walk over to the other side of the court, and collecting the balls that had gone astray.

But he should have known you wouldn’t have let things go, and he should have expected your footsteps marching behind him.

“Sakusa Kiyoomi,” you say sternly, and it irritates him even further.

What, do you think that just because you say his full name, he’s going to bend to your will? Is that the kind of hold you think you have on him? The audacity of your familiarity was bothersome and aggravating.

Because it worked.

“You’re going to the cafe with Tsukasa-senpai tomorrow.” he says quickly, turning around to face you. You nearly collided with his chest, stopping abruptly in place. You blinked your eyes at Sakusa dumbly, trying to comprehend what he’s saying.

“Yes… and?”

“Is it a date?” he cuts to the chase, no longer wishing to prolong the agony he’s been in all day.

You looked at him in surprise, jaw hanging slightly and dropping your arms to your side. You quickly regain your composure, straightening your back before giving him a hard look.

“What, am I not allowed to go on dates?”

“I never said that,” Sakusa fumed, wondering if you were trying to dodge his question.

“Then why do you —“

“Can you just answer the question?”

You huffed a little at Sakusa’s interruption, and shot him a half hearted glare. Sakusa stood his ground, looking dead into your eyes.

“It’s not a date,” you finally respond, and Sakusa let’s go of a tension in his shoulders that he had no idea he was carrying.

“Good,” he said, turning around to continue his previous task of collecting his equipement.

“Why is that good?”

Sakusa shrugged, balancing four volleyballs in his arms as he made his way back to the cart. “You shouldn’t be going on dates with guys like Tsukasa-senpai.”

At this, you scoffed in disbelief. “Excuse me? And pray tell, o wise Sakusa-san, just what exactly kind of guy should I go on dates with?”

“Me,” he said before he could stop himself. He stopped all his movements for a moment, time suddenly freezing as he comprehends what just slipped from his lips. A feeling of dread soon began to slowly creep up from his gut, spreading across his body until it reached up and grabbed hold of his heart.

He pretends he never said a thing, depositing the volleyballs back into their rightful place before heading over to collapse the net. In his peripherals, he could see your shocked expression, eyes following his every move as he starts to lower the net. He could feel the sweat forming on his forehead like bullets, but he continues on.

“So...what you’re saying is,” You finally broke the silence, walking over to the other side of the court to help Sakusa with his task. “You want me to go on a date with you.”

“I never said that,” he replied, quickly gathering the material that had bunched up on the floor. He felt awkward doing this errand in front of you, something you must have picked up on, because you finished the job for him.

Still the ever dutiful manager.

“No, I’m pretty sure you just did,” you say, grabbing onto the folded up net before walking over to place it into the storage room, not giving him a chance to reply.

Sakusa uses the ten seconds you were gone to slap himself in the face.

He solemnly walks over to gather his things, the silence growing louder and louder by the second as you choose to continue closing the gym instead of saying anything further. He takes his time switching out of his gym shoes, and slowly looped each side of his face mask on his ear.

He was zipping up his jacket when you stood in front of him.

Goosebumps raise in his flesh when you glare at him, tapping your foot on the wooden floors.

“Well?” You ask.

Sakusa tilts his head. “Well what?”

“Are you going to ask me out on a date?”

Sakusa is thankful for the fabric covering his face, though surely redness spread across his entire visage.

He was sure steam was wafting up from his head, the clock in the wall ticking tocking his nerves deeper into his bones.

You raised your eyebrow at him, and he wonders if this is a trap. Or perhaps a cruel joke. But regardless, he couldn’t keep you waiting.

“Will you… go on a date with me,” Sakusa spoke slowly, coughing into his hand before continuing, “This weekend?”

You smiled at him, brighter than he’s ever seen before. He feels as if the skies have opened up, and the sun herself graced him with his own personal ray of warmth.

“Let’s go home, Omi,” you beckon him out of the gym before turning off the lights, “I got a big date to get ready for.”

You don’t see his smile, but you se the way his joy crinkled at the corner of his eyes.

“Preparing already?”

You laugh. “I’ve only been waiting for this moment my entire life.”

He hadn’t realized things had gotten this far — though, he realizes he doesn’t mind if the end result was this.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

6:39 PM [From: Captain Tsukasa] :

so? did it work?

6:42 PM (To: Captain Tsukasa) :

senpai… ur kinda scary

6:45 PM [From: Captain Tsukasa] :

I know my little kohai better than u think 😌

#I feel like Sakusa asks himself a lotta questions lol #anyway forget discourse #read this #sakusa #sakusa kiyoomi #sakusa x reader #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #sakusa fluff #sakusa kiyoomi fluff #sakusa fic #sakusa kiyoomi drabbles #sakusa imagines #sakusa drabbles #sakusa x you #sakusa kiyoomi x you #sakusa x y/n #sakusa kiyoomi x y/n #haikyuu!! #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! scenarios #haikyuu imagines #atsumu x reader #haikyuu!! imagines

[glassyyx-blog]

Sims 4: Flower Legacy Challenge

This legacy challenge was created by cloudiecake, glassyyx and liaclynn! We hoped to allow players to try more aspects of the game that they have not delved into yet. We also made sure to have BGC options for each generation! We really hope you enjoy.

Basic Rules:

It’s basically the same rules as any other legacy challenge

No cheating (unless specified).

The heirs can be any gender, sexuality, etc.

Money cheats are allowed, but not excessively.

Lifespan should be set to normal.

For likes and dislikes, you may add additional ones in CAS if wanted.

You may live wherever you please unless specified otherwise.

Every generation passes down a family heirloom (on their teenage birthday).

Note: We have decided to release the entire challenge we’ve come up with, however, please note that it isn’t entirely play-tested! If you notice things are impossible to achieve while playing, please let me know and we will tweak the challenge accordingly. All three of us will be playing as well.

Generation 1 - Delphinium 

You grew up in foster care, bouncing from home to home until finally, you had enough. You decided to pack your bags and run away, hoping for a fresh start. This fresh start isn’t all you had dreamed of, however, and you struggle to find a proper job. Instead, you do odd jobs and the occasional theft to keep yourself afloat. When you have children, they become your entire world, wanting to give them everything you never had as a child.

Traits: Gloomy, Kleptomaniac, Active Aspiration: Chief of Mischief Career: Odd jobs (if you don’t have Island Living, do any part time job) NOTE: if you have cottage living, you are allowed to do errands!!

Likes and Dislikes:

Colours: Likes purple Likes blue

Activities: Likes mischief Likes fitness

Rules:

Start as a teen.

Start on an empty lot (use a tent if you have Outdoor Retreat).

Master mischief and fitness skills.

Complete chief of mischief aspiration.

Live off of stealing and odd jobs (you may sell collectables as well - fruits/veggies must be sold at the shops if you have cottage living but you cannot have a garden of crops!).

Have one best friend - this will be the person you end up marrying.

Your partner cannot move in until you have a full house (including one bedroom) - then they may move in and have a job.

Have a close relationship with all of your children.

Throw a party for each of your children's birthdays.

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Generation 2 - Sunflower

As a child you had everything you wanted, a loving family and a beautiful home. You were always the center of attention because of your charisma and good looks. However your indecisiveness and childish behavior constantly prevented you from long lasting friendships. But there’s one dream you will never leave; having the best restaurant in town. That’s why you’ll convince people to give you loans in order to fulfill your dream, while having the people you care for the closest to you.

Traits: childish, outgoing, foodie  Aspiration: Friend of the World  Career: own a restaurant/culinary career (bgc)

Likes and Dislikes:

Colours: Likes yellow Likes brown

Activities: Likes cooking

Music: Likes kids radio music

Rules:

Master cooking and charisma skills.

Own a restaurant/master culinary career.

Have at least 3 partners before marrying “the one”.

Complete the friend of the world aspiration.

Ask for loans at least once a week.

Have at least 3 close friends and see them regularly.

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Generation 3 (Glassy) - Rose

Growing up in the middle of your parents’ restaurant made you strive to be just as successful as them, if not more. You are ambitious and want to climb the corporate ladder as high as you possibly can. However, your dreams become a little harder to obtain when you are blessed with triplets! Still, you push on, determined to show your children that you can in fact have it all. Oh, you are also obsessed with collecting things and displaying them in your home. You also love to bake.

Traits: Ambitious, Good, Slob Aspiration: The Curator Career: Detective (or Secret Agent if you don’t have Get to Work)

Likes and Dislikes:

Colours: Likes red Likes black

Activities: Likes baking

Rules:

Master baking and logic skills.

Master the curator aspiration.

Reach at least level 8 of the Detective (or Secret Agent) career.

Complete a collection of your choice.

Have triplets (using cheats) only.

Spend a few hours baking each Sunday.

Never clean the house (you can hire a maid and/or have others do it).

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Generation 4 - Jasmine

All your life, you had to fight for attention from your parents, but were always out working. While your other two siblings were studying like crazy, you always remembered imagining what it would be like outside of the world you lived in. Therefore, you decided to dedicate your life to travelling and exploring new cultures. You had always been an active and creative kid, but not the smartest. So you decide that this path is the perfect path, and no person can get in the way of it.

Traits: Adventurous (Self Assured bgc), Goofball, Non Committal Aspiration: Any Location Aspiration (Body Builder bgc) Career: Freelance Artist

Likes and Dislikes:

Colours: Likes white Likes yellow

Activities: Likes skiing Likes snowboarding Likes fitness Likes painting

Rules:

Master either skiing, snowboarding or fitness (any one of these) and painting skill.

Master aspiration.

Have only one kid by accident.

Live in 3 worlds over the course of your life.

Travel to every vacation world you have for vacation at least once (Batuu can be excluded).

Never get married, any relationships cannot last longer than a week.

Never get above a C grade in school.

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Generation 5 - Dusty Miller

Hearing your parent’s amazing adventure stories always made your heart flutter, but you always thought there was more to life than the eyes can see. You’ve always been the shy kid that had good notes, but no one knew your true motive behind your great academics. You had one goal in life, and that was to discover the paranormal side of things; and so, with your best friend by your side you’ll dedicate your life to investigate all the weird phenomena happening around you.

Traits: Unflirty, Squeamish, Neat Aspiration: Soulmate Career: Freelance Paranormal Investigator (astronaut bgc)

Likes and Dislikes:

Colours: Likes pink Likes green Dislikes black

Activities: Likes bowling

Rules:

Have a childhood crush and marry them later in life.

Complete the soulmate aspiration.

Befriend Bonehilda.

Master the medium and bowling skill.

Adopt at least one child.

Live in a haunted house for at least 1 sim year.

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Generation 6 - Goldfish 

Growing up with a paranormal investigator parent, and having lived in a haunted house yourself, you have plenty of stories to tell! So, you decide to write them all down in hopes of becoming a bestselling paranormal author one day! However, despite having so many ideas, you struggle finding the motivation to actually write your novels.

Traits: Creative, Bookworm, Lazy Aspiration: Bestselling Author Career: Self-Employed Author

Likes and Dislikes:

Colours: Likes orange Dislikes yellow

Activities: Likes writing

Rules:

Master the writing, knitting and fishing skills.

Complete the bestselling author aspiration.

Have a close relationship with your grandparent from generation 4.

Only write one book a week.

Only meet friends online and only chat with them on the computer (only meet your lover in person).

Collect fish and mount them in your house.

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Generation 7 - Carnation

You used to spend your time in your room all day daydreaming and acting out scenarios. You were really good at it too, when you finally asked your parents to join after school acting they said yes. Everyone always praises you and you let it get to your head. You get in and out of many relationships, never learning that your egotistical behaviour drives them away from you. With every child you have, you never want them and always give them away. But deep down you still care so you go visit and spoil them like crazy. You have always wanted to grind your way to the top and you won't let anyone or anything get in the way of that.

Traits: Self-Absorbed (Mean bgc), Bro, Perfectionist Aspiration: Master Actor (Serial Romantic bgc) Career: Actor (Entertainer bgc)

Likes and Dislikes:

Colours: Likes pink Dislikes orange

Activities: Likes acting Likes guitar Likes piano Likes media production Dislikes fishing

Rules:

Take acting club as a child.

Reach level 10 of acting career and complete Master Actor Aspiration (or just max out the career and aspiration if you don’t have GF).

Master of the acting or guitar (one of these), and media production, violin or piano (one of these) skill .

Have at least 10 ex lovers before marrying a coworker.

Reach 5 star celebrity (not needed if you don’t have GF).

Have 6 kids (can be with different lovers or same lover), make sure you don’t have custody over them and they stay with your exes .

Make sure to visit your kids at least once a week and to give them loads of gifts.

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Generation 8 - Peony

Having your parent so close but so far from you at the same time was always difficult to you. In your eyes the paparazzis saw them more times than you; in the movie premieres, charity events, you name it. That’s why you made yourself the promise to become a renowned photographer, hoping you’d have the chance to see them more that way. Even if your heart told you video gaming was your passion you convinced yourself being behind a camera was better for you and that it would make you happy in the end. But once again, when do things ever go your way?

Traits: gloomy, geek, creative Aspiration: Computer Whiz Career: Freelance photography (fashion stylist bgc), tech guru 

Likes and Dislikes:

Colours: Likes purple Dislikes red 

Activities: Likes video gaming Likes programming  Dislikes photography (in elderly stage)

Rules:

Master video gaming skill, photography and programming.

Never marry.

Have two sets of twins with different sims (by cheats) but always be a single parent.

Have a photography studio at home (only if you have moschino, if not then skip) and then convert it to a gaming station.

Win at least 3 video game tournaments.

Have a great relationship with your kids, always help your children with homework/projects.

Reach excellent performance in the freelance photography career and then quit to join the tech guru career.

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Generation 9 - hydrangea 

Growing up, you always loved spending the day outside rather than indoors, as your household was rather hectic. Eventually you tried gardening and found that you absolutely loved it. So, you spend your life building up the perfect garden. You love using produce from your garden to cook fancy meals for your family.

Traits: loves the outdoors, freegan (outgoing bcg), hot-headed Aspiration: freelance botanist Career: self-employed gardener (you can have a whole farm if you have cottage living)

Likes and Dislikes:

Colours: Likes green

Activities: Likes gardening Dislikes video games

Rules:

Master gardening and gourmet cooking skills.

Master the freelance botanist aspiration.

Build up a greenhouse over the course of your life.

You must sell produce at the grocery stall and not your inventory (if you have cottage living).

Cooking a gourmet meal for your family every sunday.

Have three children.

Have a cat and a dog (bgc: just ignore this one).

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Generation 10 - Odessa

Being the middle child, you never got as much attention as your siblings (middle child syndrome). Therefore, you spend your whole life dedicated to proving yourself worthy to other people. No one ever doubted you, but everything has always been competitive. You get straight A’s in school and you start not one, but two businesses. Well, at least you have the love of your life by your side.

Traits: Cat Lover (loner bgc), Dog Lover (materialistic bgc), Hates children Aspiration: Friend of the Animals (Mansion Baron bgc) Career: Own a vet clinic and bakery (Business career if you don’t have either of these packs)

Likes and Dislikes:

Colours: Likes black and purple Dislikes every other colour

Activities: Likes baking

Rules:

Be the middle child.

Master the pet training and veterinarian skills (bgc logic and charisma).

Complete aspiration.

Get married to your highschool sweetheart.

Have the house full of pets at all times (bgc just ignore).

Never have kids, you’re not into that (if you want to have kids to continue the legacy, have only one but hire a nanny at all times).

have a date every Saturday night.

#the sims 4 #sims 4 #sims 4 legacy challenge #ts4 flower legacy

[storiesforallfandoms]

when they wrongfully accuse you of cheating ~ misfits

request?: yes!

“Hello, can you do please do post about Misfits when they wrongly accuses reader of cheating? Have a nice day❤”

warnings: swearing, mentions of cheating, angst

masterlist (one, two)

FITZ:

After his not so great run in with She Who Shall Not be Names (Katerino), Cameron’s trust levels were not very high. When he started dating you, he tried to push those concerns to the back of his mind. You had a similar experience with an ex as he had with Kate, so he felt the likeliness of you cheating on him was very slim. But then he met a friend of yours, a friend that happened to be a guy, a guy friend that Cameron felt was getting a little too close to you. This, unfortunately, resulted in a fight that lasted nearly an entire hour. “(Y/F/N) is just a friend, Cam! There’s nothing between us!” “You spend so much more time with him than you do with me, though. You’re always out together, you always want to hang out with him, you were even out with him the other night when you told me you were going out for a girl’s night!” You scoffed and handed the final blow of the argument, “If you fucking listened to me for one second you’d let me explain that (Y/F/N) is fucking gay!” You slammed the door behind you as you left Cameron’s apartment, leaving him speechless, heartbroken, and feeling like a complete fucking idiot.

~~~~~~

INOTORIOUS:

While Matt often did join in on the jokes at his expense with his friends, he couldn’t help but take them to heart too. He knew none of his friends meant anything by what they were saying, but he often found himself believing the playful insults they threw his way. This led to him believing he wasn’t good enough to be with you and worrying about the day when you’d realize you could do better and break up with him. All his fears and insecurities came to a head when he noticed how close of friends you and Cam were becoming. “I don’t like that you hang out with Cam so much.” You looked up at him over your laptop, raising an eyebrow. “Why not?” “I just...I don’t like it. I don’t mind that you’re friends with the guys, but you and Cam are...you’re different. I don’t like it.” You placed your laptop aside and sat up so you could directly walk to him. “What exactly is different about me and Cam?” “You just...you’re all touchy feely and you have inside jokes and you hang out alone together a lot...like...like a lot a lot.” “I don’t hang out with Cam alone at all. Usually one of the guys is there with us.” “You go out smoking weed with him.” “Yeah, and you can see us through the glass windows that lead out into the backyard, that’s hardly alone. What’s this really about, Matt?” He shuffled in his seat, not wanting to voice the concerns that he had. He was looking down at his hands, avoiding eye contact at all costs. This was enough of an answer for you. “You think I’m gonna fool around with Cam behind your back?” Matt started to shake his head, but then stopped. “Matt, you know I’d never do that to you. Cam is just my friend, I think of him as the big brother I never had.” “But he’s...he’s like...so much better than I am...” You stood up to hug Matt, bringing his head to your chest and cradling him as you ran your fingers through your hair. “Cam is far from better than you, Matt. You are the most amazing person I have ever met. I’d be crazy to let you go for anyone else, let alone Cam. You’re my one and only, okay? I love you.”

~~~~~~

MCCREAMY:

Long distance relationships sucked ass. Especially when the person you were dating was in a whole other country with a totally conflicting time zone. Having the times line up where you and Jay could call one another and talk for long periods of time very rarely ever lined up. It was hard, but the two of you tried your best. You texted each other at least once every day and tried to call when possible, and even posted cute little Instagram things just so you could tag one another in them. Jay saw one of these posts one day and his heart felt light with happiness. He wished he could just see you in person and finally be able to hold you and kiss you. He was about to continue scrolling when another post by you popped up, this time with another guy. It was a mirror selfie from a club of some kind. You were dressed in short shorts and a crop top and you were basically sitting in the guy’s lap. Jay felt himself becoming slightly angry at the post. Obviously you had meant to post it, there was a caption and the person was tagged, but had you meant for him to see it? He called you almost immediately, not caring if he was waking you or interrupting something. You answered on the second ring, sounding like you had been drifting off to sleep. “Jay? What’s up?” “Who is that in your latest Instagram picture?” You hummed in response, still out of it. “Didn’t I post one of the two of us?” “I meant before that.” You made another noise like you were thinking, before saying, “Oh, that’s (Y/F/N).” “Why were you sat on his lap in the picture?” “Jay, can we talk about this later? I can barley form a coherent thought right now so it feels like everything you’re saying it going over my head.” “No, I want you to tell me right now why you posted that picture with another guy.” There was some shuffling, then the sound of a light turning on. He could hear you yawn on the other end before you said, “Did you read the caption at all?” “A little.” He hadn’t. “Then you know that the picture is from years ago, before you and I even met. And that I was posting it to remember when (Y/F/N) and I met years ago in a bar when he photobombed a picture I was taking.” Jay was silent. He didn’t really know how to respond to that at all. He was starting to feel like an idiot, why didn’t he just read the caption? “I’m gonna go back to sleep,” you said, breaking the silence. “Call me at a reasonable time when you’re ready to apologize for whatever this was about.” Jay listened as you hung up, leaving him in shocked silence, feeling like a complete idiot.

~~~~~~

SWAGGERSOULS:

Despite his jokes online about his appearance, Swagger was actually pretty insecure about the way he looked. When the two of you had first started talking online, he refused to do video calls or to send you pictures for the first while because he was afraid you wouldn’t find him attractive. He build a small bit of confidence to finally start talking to you face to face and to actually meet you in person. But the insecurities regarding his looks were always there, and they led to your first fight as a couple when Swagger saw you dancing with a guy while you, the Misfits, and some of your girl friends were out together. “Why the fuck were you dancing with him?!” he called over the thumping club music. “I didn’t know I was dancing with him! I thought it was (Y/F/N)! We went out onto the dancefloor together and I thought she was still behind me. I didn’t know it was another guy until you came over.” Swagger scoffed and rolled his eyes. You raised an eyebrow at him. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” “Nothing.” “No, tell me Swagger.” “I just have a hard time believing you didn’t know some guy was grinding up behind you and you really just thought it was your friend. Did you really think I wouldn’t see? That I wouldn’t do anything about it?” “I didn’t fucking know!” “Whatever, (Y/N). Enjoy your dancing!” He left you shocked as you watched him walk away. Your face was on fire from anger and confusion, meanwhile Swagger was downing the beer he had in his hand, hoping to forget the night entirely when he woke up the next morning.

~~~~~~

TOBYONTHETELE:

Toby prided herself on not being jealous or jumping to conclusions. She had a massive amount of trust in you, she always had. You had never given her a reason to believe otherwise. But when you started hiding your text messages from her, taking your phone with you every time you left the room instead of just leaving it there like you usually did, being vague about where you were and what you were doing, Toby couldn’t help but feel suspicious. You had never acted this way before, and she knew she shouldn’t jump to conclusions but she just couldn’t help it. All the signs pointed to one thing: you were seeing someone else. Toby worried over it for so long that she nearly made herself sick, and that’s when she finally snapped. She confronted you when you came home from one of your secret “errands” you went on. “If you’re cheating on me, just fucking break up with me and get it over with.” You were shocked. “What? Babe, I’m not cheating on you. Why would you think that?” “You’re so secretive and you hide your texts from me and your phone. You’re always so open with me, but lately you’ve been hiding something. The only logical thing is you’re seeing someone else.” You tried to hold back your laugh but it was nearly impossible. You started to giggle, which frustrated Toby even more. “Toby, I’m not seeing someone else. It’s going to ruin everything, but I was being secretive cause I was trying to plan this big surprise birthday party for you.” You laughed harder at her dumbfounded face as you hugged her and kissed her cheek. “You know I’d never cheat on you, babe. I love you too much.”

~~~~~~

ZUCKLES:

Mason loved to party. Literally everyone knew that, you included. You were more than fine with that, but what you weren’t fine with was him always leaving you alone when he went to parties. At first it was just nerve wracking considering the fact that you didn’t know anyone, but then it became downright frustrating for your boyfriend to leave your side the minute you walked through the doors of a house party or a club. It was even worst because it gave creepy drunk guys the opportunity to try and flirt with you because you were there all alone. The night that Mason finally caught some guy getting a little too close to you, you felt relief when he saved you. The relief quickly went away when Mason’s angry face turned to face you. “Who the fuck was that?” You scrunched up your nose at the stench of alcohol coming from him. “Some creep. Can we go home?” “Why was he getting close to you like that?” You scoffed. “Why are you getting so angry? He was flirting with me, not the other way around Mason.” “I don’t like finding my girlfriend getting close with some other dude when I’m not around. How many times has this happened?” You felt anger rising within you. How the fuck was he here getting angry with you when you were the one being hit on by some creep? “It’s happened nearly every time that you have left me alone when we go out, Mason. Which, newsflash, has been every time we go out! Don’t fucking stand here and get angry with me when you leave me alone for creepy drunk guys to try and hit on every time we go out! Also, the fact that you’d even think that I would hit on a guy when you’re not around is an extremely low fucking blow, Mason. I love you more than anything, I would never even think about flirting with someone else. The fact that you’re accusing me of anything right now and not listening to me is so fucking disgusting. I thought we had trust Mason!” When you started to walk away, Mason grabbed your arm. “Where are you going?” You yanked your arm free and responded, “Home! You make the decision if you trust me enough to believe me!”

#misfits #misfits imagine #goodguyfitz #inotorious #mccreamy #swaggersouls #tobyonthetele #zuckles #imagine #misfits preference #preference #request #fanfiction #fanfic #fandom

[spideyspeaches]

Spotlight ↬ t.h

A/N: This whore made me write this okay? shh you didn’t see me write this 🤡 Lord save me what have I written 😪😪💀

WC: 1.4k+ 

Warnings: smut. minors dni

Pairing: tom holland x photographer!reader (basically the plot lmao)

Masterlist || Taglist

“Is it just me, or are these pants super tight?” Tom grunted, pulling the tight dress pants in question to fit over his thighs. Wiggling his toes, he tried not to groan at the numbness in his limbs the uncomfortable pants brought, hoping the photoshoot wouldn’t take long.

He really wasn’t in the mood for a photoshoot this late at night, especially after a long day of continuous online press. The things he did for his fans. He just hoped that the new photographer wouldn’t be a rookie, he would feel terrible if he snapped at them for doing their job. Not that he would ever, his anger management was going well. 

“I don’t know man, ask your stylist.” One of the dressers said. Tom didn’t know what his name was, there were too many people to keep track of names. And then there was the makeup artist, who decided that he needed makeup that very moment, brushing his nose with powder with a fluffy brush. Trying hard not to rip his pants, he sneezed three times in succession. 

“Bless you.” The makeup lady chuckled, dusting more on his cheekbones before going to the rest of his face. Trying to deflect her, he moved around a little, earning a chuckle from the others. 

“I think I’m already pretty without makeup, thank you very much.” Tom joked, rolling his sore neck, curling his toes once again as they cracked satisfactorily, sighing in relief that the darn fitting was finally done. 

“You are pretty but the camera needs a little highlight to show your cheekbones off.” she retorted.

Scoffing, he looked around, eyes landing on the multiple flashlights in front of the green screen, and another person. Furrowing his brows, he shrugged, maybe that was the new photographer. 

“Who’s that woman?” He asked anyway, sneaking a glance at You. He could only see your back, but he could see your hair tied up in a bun, baggy olive pants and a plaid shirt loosely hanging off your waist. He felt jealous looking at your comfortable clothing, pushing down the feeling with a huff. You were a stranger, and he would be home soon anyway. 

“That’s the new photographer, she’s an intern but quite good at what she does. We saw her portfolio and immediately hired her.” 

“That’s great.” He muttered absentmindedly tracing his eyes over your form. He found himself unable to stop the blush creeping up his cheeks when you turned around, a smile on your lips when you saw him eyeing you. It wasn’t often that somebody caught his eye. 

“She’s off-limits.” The older woman muttered, smirking when he huffed. 

“It wasn’t like I was going to do anything.” he said defensively, yet unable to take his eyes off you.

“Of course you weren’t.”

No he wasn’t. At first he wasn’t, but his stupid tight fucking pants were making him uncomfortable, twisting the rings in his fingers to stop the anxiety blooming in his chest. His eyes followed you again as he sat at the ground, watching you as you adjust the settings of your camera. 

"Y/n, right?" Tom asked, as you nodded bashfully. 

“Ready?” You smiled. Giving you a thumbs up, he posed in multiple positions, his eyes following your hands as they held the lens of the camera. You tried not to pay much attention to the man in front of you.

You had come here strictly to click photographs, not hook up with a celebrity who was decidedly the most attractive person in this room. You felt your breath hitch as he spread his legs, casually sprawling his hands between his thighs, right on top of his crotch. The rings on his fingers and the highlights of his makeup visibly shone against the bright lights. Clearing your throat, you lowered the camera from your face. 

“Can you- can you turn a little bit? To your right?” You stuttered, indicating the new position, bunching up the hem of his grey dress pants as he shifted.

“This is better?” He asked, looking up with a smirk. He definitely knew what he was doing, and judging by his smug expression, which you decided to capture before it vanished, he knew how it was affecting you too. 

The overall shoot was exhausting, with the constant wardrobe change and time limit. But the entire time, you couldn't help but be intrigued by the British actor in front of you. 

His wardrobe definitely defined his muscles, the lights working wonders as they created shadows in just the right places. 

“Can I see the photos?” He asked, coming to stand behind you once the rest of the crew disappeared to pack everything up. Your breath hitched again, the closer he came, the faster your heart beat. 

“Th-they need to be edited.” You stuttered, switchin on your camera anyway. Without turning, you held the instrument in your hand, lifting your elbows as he came closer, his mouth nearly on your neck. You were both thankful for the empty dressing room. 

“I bet they look good, they came from a sweet thing like you.” He whispered, bringing his hands closer to your waist, teasing you as his fingers traced non existent circles on the small of your skin visible from the hitched t-shirt. The air around you grew thicker, it was getting harder to breath with every passing minute as he ran his cold fingers burning your skin, the cool of his rings a foreign touch.

You’ve had a one night stand or two before, but they were usually men from random dive bars. Not a celebrity, who had taken interest in you surprisingly fast. Your gut twisted at the thought of doing him, the heat of the spotlight suddenly burning your skin. Was this going to be a one night thing too? You didn’t know. You didn’t care. You weren’t going to admit it, but you were a fan of Tom Holland. You had seen his interviews of him for Cherry, but somehow, the Tom Holland standing behind you was a complete 360 of the Tom you saw in the interviews.

“They look good because they have you.” You said, squirming at the funny feeling of his lips on your neck, sucking on the nape. Fuck professionalism, no one was there to catch you, the lights of the studio having been switched off because of it nearing it’s closing time. You had a trailer of your own, but you were too lost in his lips to care.

Twisting around, you jumped up as he caught you with ease, crashing your lips with his with a hunger that surprised you, arms grasping his shoulders as you dug your nails into his clothed shoulder. 

Panting as you parted, you took off your clothes, the cold air hitting you as your body got used to the sudden temperature change. He watched in awe as they fell one by one, first your pants, then your shirt, leaving you in your sports bra and panties. His hard on was very visible from his pants, as he reached to unveil himself alongside you. 

“Don’t you think this is a little unprofessional? We literally just met.” You spoke, walking closer to him, holding his cheeks in your palm. Biting your lips, you ran your hands on his now bare chest, feeling the hard skin of his nipples, his defined pectorals. Yeah, you really didn’t give a fuck about professionalism, you were about to fuck Thomas fucking Holland, maybe teach him a lesson after he left you all hot and bothered during the photoshoot.

“It’s unprofessional only if you want it to be darling.” He groaned, pulling you closer to his, your chests smacking against each other as he grasped your head, kissing you, the pace increasing as he picked you up by your waist, slamming you against the door of the studio. 

You never knew a touch could mean so much, lost in your high of his lips against yours, his skin against yours feeling like fire and ice at the same time. 

“Say the magic word babygirl, and I’ll stop.” He said, grunting as you dug your fingers in his back, your head spinning at the euphoria his voice brought you. 

“I don’t think I’ll be able to say anything with your dick against me.” You said, stopping for a moment as he looked at you open mouthed. A moment passed and his laughter rang in the studio, your own mixed with his. 

This was gonna be the longest night of yours. 

A/N: SO THAT HAPPENED HAHA BYE IMMA GO INTO HIDING 

#This isn't showing up on tags fml 😭😭😭 #imma still try anyway #tom holland smut #tom holland x reader smut #tom holland #tom holland x you #tom holland x actress!reader #spideygirl writes

[duckprintspress]

How can I write quickly?

I (hi, I’m @unforth) have been asked frequently over the years how I write a lot quickly. I’m a pretty fast writer - for example, I wrote the 5600 words of my May Trope Mayhem fill from yesterday in under 2.5 hours. 

First, a little of my personal history for context. I’ve always written, starting from when I was able to string letters into (very poorly spelled) words and (horrible un-grammatical) sentences. When I started trying my hand at serious, professional-level fiction writing, I joined a community called novel_in_90, which was founded by the author Elizabeth Bear. The purpose of novel_in_90 was “to be NaNoWriMo but more realistic.” Instead of 50,000 words in 31 days, it was 67,500 words in 90 days, or 750 words a day. I participated in multiple rounds of novel_in_90 starting in mid-2005, and in 2007 I completed my first (godawful) novel. When I started, even writing a couple hundred words of day took me forever, but it got easier with time. 

During those same years, I also got a job that required I do professional writing on a deadline: I was a grant writer, and I only got paid when the grants won. That often meant working fast under high pressure, culminating in the weekend I wrote and edited an entire 40 pages grant that was due on Monday. I think, if I hadn’t had a solid foundation of “regular daily plodding writing,” I’d not have been able to marathon when the moment came...and it came because I had to, not because I wanted to. However, I learned a valuable lesson: I could. Subsequently, I found that, when I had the time and space and was rested enough to use my brain, I could bust out a huge amount. Like, I wrote an entire 150,000 word novel in 17 days.

My personal record is about 200,000 words in one month (it was the month I wrote that novel; I wasn’t tracking when I did that so I don’t know exactly), 25,000 words in a day, and I’ve topped out around 3,000 words an hour. I do know people who can do more...but not many.

Not everyone will be able to do this. Flat out, I MUST preface the rest of this post by saying that. Some people will find that writing fast fits their brain, and for others, it just won’t, and that’s okay. Fast doesn’t equal better, and it isn’t inherently “good” to write fast. Furthermore, even for those who can write fast, not everyone will find the same strategies helpful. I can share what works for me. Try out one item, some items, or all of these - if writing faster is something you want to be able to do, which it certainly never has to be. Use what works for you, and discard the rest.

Sit in your chair, put your fingers on your keyboard or touch screen, and write. You can’t write 1,000 words in half an hour until you write one word, however long that one word takes. I know saying this is obvious, but I’ve been asked “how can I write fast” by people who struggle to write at all...fast can’t be your priority until you’ve got a foundation of just writing. (Honestly...fast should never be your priority, but it might be helpful to you regardless, which can make it worth learning.)

Start small. Set an achievable goal, and make yourself meet that goal (daily, weekly, whatever) come hell or high water, no matter how long it takes you. Keep the goal small at first; you’re not trying to torture yourself, you’re trying to build a skill. If you set the goal high enough that you consistently fail, you’re not teaching yourself anything. And, if you find the goal IS too high...lower it. There’s no shame in working within your limits. Think of it like starting a new work out regimen: you wouldn’t try to run a 10k at a record time if you can’t run a mile slow. Treat your fingers and your brain the same way you’d treat your legs and joints. Give them time to grow, learn, and improve before you try to push yourself.

Trying to write daily is worthwhile if you want to work on your writing speed, because you’ll be forced to try to fit it in as you’re able - that might be ten minutes in your morning, or an hour in your evening, and it might vary from day to day, but making it daily means you have to fit it in somewhere.

Building skills takes time and isn’t easy. For some people, it will come easier than for others, and even when you’re fast, going from “I can write words fast” to “I can write damn good words fast” takes practice and dedication and accepting constructive criticism - speed alone will never be worth more than writing well.

Having a community can help. Ya’ll will check in on each other, cheer each other on, remind each other that missing a day or a goal isn’t the end of the world, and keep each other’s spirits up. If you don’t know other writerly folks online, I recommend Weekend Writing Marathon ( @weekendwritingmarathon ) as a good place to start (I used to be a mod there). Once you’re trying to work up to larger word counts in a day, remember that even writing fast will take minutes or hours. You can’t write 2,500 words in an hour if you don’t set an hour aside. Make sure you’re giving yourself the room and time you need to succeed.

You will probably never be able to do high, rapid word counts every day, every week, every month. The best runners in the world don’t run marathons every day. Set realistic long term goals.

Work on projects where you have a clear idea of where you’re going. I’m not saying “pantsers” can’t write fast, because of course they can, but if you want to write fast, and well, and coherently, to create a first draft that’s in pretty good shape, you’ll do better if you have a good sense of what you’re trying to accomplish with your story. That doesn’t mean you need to do all your world building up front, or have a complete outline (I never have either). All you really need is what happens next. I tend to plan projects - and write them - one full scene at a time, with only a vague idea what’s going to come after. (I’m personally a “plantser,” and the strategies in this post will likely be most effective to other plantsers.)

Visualize ahead of time what you’d like to write...but don’t get too attached to what you visualize. When I go to bed, I plan the next scene I’m going to compose, often to the least detail. I then forget all of it overnight, at least all the specifics, and I’m left with a general sense and shape of what’s to come. You’ll never be able to replicate the “perfect” dialog you pre-conceive, so give up on trying to. Instead, play through the scene and think about the emotional beats you want to hit and plot points you want to forward. If you keep that in mind, you’ll be able to get the words out faster than if you’re agonizing over every word or regretting the “oh-so-great” idea that you’ve since forgotten. 

Practice different work styles. If writing every day doesn’t work for you, try instead saying, “this is my writing day each week,” and aim for a lot that specific day, and write little or nothing other days. Try writing at different times of day and on different days, fitting it into your schedule. If you’re beating yourself up for not writing when you “should,” it’ll be that much harder to succeed, so instead, as I said for point 2 - set a reasonable goal that fits your life and working style, fitting it around your other responsibilities, and push yourself within that framework, instead of trying to shoehorn into a style that you “think you should” use to succeed. 

Track your word counts, and take notes on how much you did and what project you were working on. If you’re also experimenting with different times of day and different days, make sure you note that too. I personally use a simple Excel sheet (well, Google Sheets, now) - column one is the date, column 2 is “starting word count,” column 3 is “ending word count,” column 4 is “=column 3 - column 2”, column 5 is notes. Pay attention to when you succeed at writing faster, and when you don’t, and consider what factors might have played into your success...and then try to replicate those factors next time you’re doing a sprint. Control as many variables as you can while you’re “training.”

If you find social media distracting, trying getting a web browser extension that prevents you from connecting to websites for a set period of time.

If you find you tend to dither before starting, I find it helpful to run through everything that I might do to procrastinate (check my social media! grab a snack! make some tea! set up my playlist! check my social media again! finish making the tea! check my social media for what I swear will be the last time!), and when I’m done, it’s like, well, I’ve done all those things, I’ve got no choice left, time to write, no excuses left.

If you find you struggle with picking up a WIP, try leaving off in the middle of a sentence at the end of a session, one where you know exactly how it ends - or, leave off mid-paragraph, or when you are positive you know what happens next (and I mean literally next, as in the very next sentence.) It’s much easier to “pick back up” when your first words are super clear. (Do not do this if you think there’s any chance you’ll forget or end up in a situation where you won’t return to your WIP for months!) 

If you find you struggle to maintain continuity across multiple writing sessions, try rereading what you wrote the previous day before you proceed. Resist the urge to edit it!

Avoid stopping when you get stuck, even to do research. Don’t know a fact? Add a comment to your manuscript flagging the relevant text, “LOOK THIS UP LATER.” Can’t think of a word? Put in something you can use the “find” function on easily (I personally use “XX” since there are no words that have a double x in them) and so you can come back later, search for your chosen placeholder, and fill in the blanks. Not sure how a scene ends but know the next scene? Jump ahead.

That said, if you really don’t know what happens next, you don’t do yourself any favors by pressing on. As I’ve said previously, speed alone should never be your writing object. It’s better to slow down, consider your plot, figure out where you’re going, and then write, than to just plow ahead - or at least, that’s better if you want a manuscript you’ll actually be able to use for something at a later point. If you’re truly just practicing, you can also say “screw it, who needs coherence?” and keep going. I’d personally never have finished my first novel if I’d spent a lot of time worrying about making the pieces fit together and yeah, it’s a mess, but it’s a mess I wrote instead of a mess I got stuck on and never completed.

Don’t move the finish line. If you’ve set the goal of 500 words a day, don’t beat yourself up if you get 550 because you think you think you could have done more. If you say you’ll write five days a week, don’t get mad because you DID have time the sixth day but chose to use it on something else. If you make yourself feel like shit when you succeed, what’ll happen when you fail? And when you’re comfortable and really think you’re ready, change the goal - reassess every month, say, and up your goals. While working for speed, trying upping your word count goal without changing the amount of time you allot for working.

Your need to adhere to the above suggestions will change over time. Once, I always had an outline; now I often don’t need one. Once, I wouldn’t let myself stop even to use a thesaurus; now, I find I can look up words without breaking my flow or significantly slowing myself down. This is not an “all or nothing” prospect, nor is it a “do things the same way forever once you’ve found one (1) thing that works” prospect - you’ll experiment, and find strategies that work for you, and then at some point, your needs will change, and you’ll experiment more, and find new strategies that work for you, on and on, as your skills grow. 

To reiterate: writing fast should never be your objective in and of itself! Greater writing speed will come with practice and as a general side effect of improving your craft. Simply being able to write fast is useless; being able to write fast and well will enable you to get more of your ideas out there, so if that’s something you’d like to accomplish, focus on building your general skills and training yourself to be able to use those skills rapidly and in tandem with each other to produce decent writing, in a first draft, at a decent speed.

Once you try, you may find none of this works for you! That’s okay. That’s good! You tried, which means you learned something about yourself and your own writing style, and that too will help you to improve. Keep experimenting, keep learning, and find what does work for you - and accept that no two writers will ever be the same, and one of those differences will be writing speed. Some writers will never write fast, and that’s doesn’t make them any less awesome or valid. And some writers will always write fast, and that doesn’t make them inherently awesome or valid. Only with a suite of skills that suit your individual life, personality, work style, writing capabilities, goals, etc., will you succeed as a writer (for various, personalized definitions of the word “success”); speed is only one of those potential skills, and not one that’s particularly important in my opinion...yet I still get asked about it fairly often, so here we are, these are my suggestions

Go forth, and write some words! <3

#duck prints press #writing advice #original content