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#less so now but the number of times i thought 'if i do this and it goes wrong there's no one to take care of them' is higher than zero
vcgardenia · 3 days
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under the moon’s veil (Luke Castellan x Apollo!daughter)
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summary: Cora is kinda losing her cookies but in an interesting poetic way! And Luke is totally there for her like Drusilla and Spike or Catherine and Heathcliff.
wc: 2483
cw: angst, lit + greek mythology references, kissing, suggestive content, depictions of insanity, gore and blood
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results - Albert Einstein
It was the dark of night, and Nyx had tucked all the world in his shining blanket of stars. A glistening sky sighed as another day had passed them by- all was sound, and all were quiet… Well, all but one.
Cora tossed and turned in her bed, anxiously anticipating a rustle from the bushes. After an hour of waiting, tossing, and turning some more, she sat up from her bed and stared longingly at the door. Where was he?
The Apollo cabin was dead silent; not a usual occurrence, and Cora could not have been more relieved. She looked around at the drooling, passed out campers around her- trying to scope how asleep they all were before she made any first moves. Her half-sister Heidi had practically fallen off of her top bunk, and Cora knew she had to leave the cabin before that happened.
She stood up from her bed- almost stepping on the baby deer that her half-brother Liam had adopted after he found it stabbed in a clearing. Normally the counselor would’ve said no, but it was a baby deer with a limp… and the head counselor wasn’t a monster.
Cora tried not to look at it. She avoided its presence entirely before continuing on her self made quest. She cautiously slipped on her Crocs- trying to ensure that no rubbery friction from the shoes would give her away. 
Cora tried to steady her breathing, but it was becoming more erratic by the second. He was supposed to rustle the leaves at the bushes at 10, and then Cora would come out by 10:15. It was currently 11:07 and she had no idea where he was. Cora felt as if she was breaking into a cold sweat; she could feel her hands shaking as she thought of the worst. 
What if he got hurt by someone? Or his ship sunk? Backbiter may have stopped working, someone caught him on the way here- thousands of possibilities were circling through her mind.  Cora’s heart was now racing… what if he was dead? 
She shook her head, refusing to believe her own thoughts. Her entire body was shaking at this point, and she knew she had to run out of the cabin before she started bawling. So Cora ran. She sprinted out of the cabin, and off the well worn path, into the forest. As she ventured further into the woods, less and less moonlight came from the sky above; covered by the growing number of trees. Through the tears and flem in her throat, she began to yell, practically scream his name,
“LUKE. LUKE. LUKE WHERE ARE YOU!” She was breaking down into tears, collapsing over herself into a heap of despair. What had the world done to her love?
“Hey sunshine.” Luke appeared from behind one of the trees Cora had just run past. She kept her head down, sobbing into the ground beneath her; more out of relief now than sorrow. Luke quickly knelt down next to her- rubbing her icy cold back with his pleasantly warm hands. With each up and down motion he made, he would make patterns on her back with his delicate yet deliberate fingers. Slowly, Cora was able to collect herself. While her breathing was still erratic, she was no longer wailing so loud the gods could hear. 
“I didn’t mean to worry you baby.” Luke’s face was full of concern and worry for his love. He hid his face in her hair, muffling his next words,
“Can you forgive me?”
Cora looked up for the first time, turning her head around to see him. Immediately she gasped,
“What happened to your scar?” She instinctively held his face in her hands. Luke smirked, giddy from the attention,
“Percy reopened some old wounds both figuratively and literally.” He chuckled. Cora scowled.
“If you had let me go with you this wouldn’t have happened.” Luke took a large sigh,
“Let’s not talk about this right now. I just wanna see you happy.” Cora’s scowl quickly turned into a beaming smile,
“How could I not be happy when I’m with you, my winged Romeo?” She planted a kiss on his wound, longing to make it disappear with some magic touch.
She could tell even by how Luke held her, that he had longed for her touch. His body bent as easily to her will as a stick of puddy at her fingers. Cora wrapped her arms around Luke’s neck; melting into the warm embrace. She missed this. 
When they started meeting up in the woods, Luke would talk to her about his adventures, she would talk about hers. But, over time it just hurt too much for the both of them. Knowing that the love of their life was existing without them by their side. 
These days they would just touch. Making sure no area was undiscovered before the end of the night; it never felt the same way twice. New scars, new bruises, nothing could stop the passage of time. 
“How long can you stay tonight?” Cora looked up at Luke, searching for an answer in his eyes; begging him to stay just a little longer than last time. In response Luke inhaled, looking ahead of her- knowing he couldn’t bear to see the expression on her face.
“So not that long then?” Cora furrowed her brows. Luke dug his head into her shoulder, shaking his head. After sitting there for a little longer, Cora spoke, 
“Let me go with you.”
“No I- you know you can’t. It’s too dangerous.” She looked at him with bitterness in her eyes, shaking her head,
“If you don’t let me go with you Luke,” Cora searched for her words, tears filling her eyes,  “the last time you’ll see me is hanging from a tree.” Cora started getting up, ready to run away from his phony warm embrace.
“Cora don’t say that. Please don’t say that baby.” 
“Do you even love me Luke?” Luke stared at her with the most puzzled look,
“Why are you saying these things?”
In truth, Cora didn’t know. She just wanted everything to be normal again. She wanted them to swim in the lake together; finding the secret passageway that would take them to the stone cave, overgrown with green ivy. He would hold her in his arms, lifting her up to the ledge where they could just sit. She would put her head in his lap and he would caress her features. They would just talk. They could just talk back then. 
But now, Cora didn’t know what had become of them, of her. Luke was crying, holding his head in his hands as he tried to hold back his sniffles. His voice was breaking with the little whimpers that dared to escape. 
Cora thought back on the week before. She had been in the woods and she had taken a knife with her, trying to pick some raspberries for lunch that day. Cora finally found a bush full of them- not often found in these woods. As she began to pick them, her mind started to wander. Of course the first place it went was to Luke- what was he doing right now? Was he thinking about her? Was he safe? Lost in thought she cut open one of the raspberries she had picked. She gasped. The shade of pinkish red perfectly matched that of Luke’s lips. She grabbed more from her basket and continued to cut into more of them. It was incredible; the shade and pigment would’ve blended right into his if he was here. The juices of the previous raspberry escaped into the soil, merging into one as the cycle of reunion began again. Even the juice had consistency to find comfort in. 
She started cutting open the raspberries with more aggravation; almost jealous of their fate. In her fury she had accidentally cut her own hand, instead of another raspberry. The blood was a redder hue than Luke’s lips, but as she looked down, she could see that it too was able to become one with the earth. 
She smiled.
She hadn’t smiled for weeks. Luke hadn’t been visiting, and it had been filling her with more despair than she knew what to do with. But this spilling of blood was the sweet release she had been looking for. She was now part of the cycle; Cora giggled in glee at the thought. Leaning her head back and closing her eyes, she felt a new moisture on her hand. She opened her eyes to see a creature licking off the blood that had finally connected her to something; given her comfort. It had stolen her joy. It had taken the one pleasure she had away from her. Her face snapped into a look of blind rage, and she stabbed it. 
She quickly withdrew her knife, ready to inflict a second blow- then she looked into its eyes. It was a deer. From the looks of it, the harmless animal wasn’t even a year old. Cora quickly took the knife away from the baby’s untouched skin; it had now been drenched in its first bleeding… and it was all her fault.
After that Cora had made sure one of her siblings found it. The counselor let the deer stay in their cabin of course, he wasn’t a monster… but she was.
She had tried not to think about it since then, but every time she looked at Liam’s baby dear, every time she heard someone question what kind of villain would stab such a pure and beautiful creature…
She turned her attention back to the present.
She couldn’t stay and watch as another beautiful being was destroyed by her hands. Especially not Luke. Her Luke. So she ran. She ran as fast as her legs could take her. She could hear Luke yelling for her, but it all just felt like background noise to her. She had to distance herself from the world. 
Cora had learned to be strong in the face of adversity, and she had always been praised for her level headedness- always keeping perspective, being kind and gracious to all. No matter what happened she always kept her light. But Luke was the exception. He was the hamartia that would bleed her soul dry; without even having to try he could undo her.
Luke was searching breathlessly for Cora. He didn’t know what he said or did, but he had to fix it. As he wandered through the forest he pondered- what happened? He should have seen a breakdown like this happening, he had been gone for too long, he should have come back sooner. Should haves and what if’s raced through his mind as he looked desperately for Cora. She was the epitome of perfection to Luke. He felt as if he had ruined her.
He knew it was selfish to keep seeing her even after he chose his side, but Luke couldn’t help it. He had to see her. Luke couldn’t breathe without her. Some days it felt as if they inhabited the same body, he could tell how her day was going just by looking inwards; other days she was a complete mystery. She would blow up and scream at him, and he would still be just as willing to plunge a knife into his chest for her. 
He wanted to have a life with her, have Cora as a witness to everything he did… but he was a disgrace. He was an outcast of her world. He knew it could never be. She would find some man who is deserving of her- and Luke would have to watch just as Heathcliff watched his Catherine. But he searched nonetheless. Because at the end of the day, he knew that he would rather beat his head against a tree than be in a world without her.
After what felt like ages he heard sniffling coming from behind a bush. Luke let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding as he cautiously walked over to the noise. 
“Sunshine, are you here?” 
“Go away!” Cora still refused to look at him. She was curled up in a ball on the floor and didn’t look up.
“Baby I-” Luke tried to find his words as he sat to meet her eyes. “I don’t have much time left.” Cora finally looked up, staring at his gorgeous curls instead of his agonizing face. “Can’t we spend it together?” It was a plea. 
Cora moved closer to Luke; leaning in more and more until their foreheads touched. She lightly chuckled as she took her hands and placed them on his torso. Luke smirked as he pried her by the wrists away from what she knew was a sensitive area of his body. With her wrists in his hands, Luke pulled them towards him, which left both Cora and Luke mere atoms away from each other. They stayed there for a good minute- allowing the moment to breathe. 
After a while Luke set Cora’s wrists on her lap. He took his thumb and opened her mouth, letting his tender touch linger on her plump lips. Luke couldn’t help but sigh at how beautiful she looked under the moonlight; despite her father being god of the sun. Cora gave a faint smile, still tired from the buckets of tears she had produced. She leaned in ever so slightly, and was easily able to find her way to his lips.  
They didn’t talk after that, they just touched. Cora and Luke didn’t have time to take off each other's clothing as they normally would do, so they had to suffice with lifting up a shirt or pulling down some pants. Cora was gripping at his clothes almost frantically- sensing that time was running out, that their time on earth together was expiring. Luke would often take her arms and put them to her sides; rubbing them in hopes of calming her down. Then, it was time for him to go. They hadn’t gotten enough time that night, they never got enough time. 
“You have to stay here. You’re safe here. Can you do that for me baby?” Luke begged with his eyes. Cora sighed, letting a tiny whimper escape as they were separated from each other’s touch.
“Yea… yea I can do that for you.” She avoided eye contact.
“Hey. Look at me.” She allowed her gaze to wander to his eyes, “I’ll see you soon, okay Sunshine?”
“The sooner the better my winged Romeo.” She smiled mournfully.
Luke walked away and Cora knew better than to call for him. He longed to turn around, just to see her one last time- but much like Orpheus with his Eurydice, he knew he couldn’t. If he turned around, he would lose the strength to leave. He would stay there forever.
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wildpeachfarm · 2 days
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See the thing is with streaming its going to die regardless, yes companies handing out less contracts is killing it further but its already dying at a fast rate? I'm not a stream hater either btw I really enjoy them but like. For example. 2020, 2021? When school was remote and I only ever worked mornings because of covid hours? I was clocked into that Philza 8hr stream DAILY. I was scheduling my classes around those streams so I could do homework while listening/watching. Went as far as to use my monthly speaking privilge to ask Phil what date British Daylight Savings began so I could keep my schedule clear. The second everything was no longer remote, and store hours went back to normal, I maybe caught 2, 3, maybe 4 streams in that year before I decided enough was enough about QSMP and I LOVE hardcore content.
From a company standpoint I can see why YT may not be interested in handing out streamer contracts anymore. Like Dreamie and a few others they're recognizing the Covid Number Boom is over- but unlike Dreamie, because theyre a corporation, they can't just "stick it out" and "recelebrate milestones". They have a "bottom line" to protect and they're not getting that same sweet sweet ad revenue from streams because of decreased viewer counts. Esp bc people don't just go back and watch vods unless there's a REAAAALLY good reason to. So no ad viewership there either. They're going to go back to relying on videos (and unfortunately probably shorts as well, I hate the tiktok-ification of every socmed site) to keep their ad revenue up, especially with the battle of ad blockers. I see more ad and monitization deals being handed out.
With streams (bc vod watching is lowkey practically nonexistant) not being in high demand bc of time constraints (happening while busy, timezones issues) the demands for videos will be higher as videos are ALWAYS readily available. Someone uploads at midnight your timezone? I mean it'll be there when you wake up, you won't have "missed" anything like you would have a livestream. Get a video schedule set out and you're GOLDEN- the first thing I do when I get home from work is check if a handful of youtubers have uploaded to put on to watch. If not, I rewatch some of my fav vids.
Also psychologically I actually think this is for the better of all CCs as a whole. Streaming, esp for some of the hourly requirements some of these ppl either HAVE to hit to get paid or WILLINGLY put themselves through (Tubbo) you have to wear your persona the ENTIRE time. You have to make sure you don't slip up that ENTIRE time. You have to be entertaining the ENTIRE time. You have to filter yourself because it's all live. To me this just sounds like what I do on a daily basis masking my audHD and that shit is so tiring and it's why I could NEVER be a streamer. If you're recording videos you can control what goes out. You don't have to wear whatever persona you decide to put on for 8hrs for a stream, you can record 3 hours of footage and then be done for the day, and that can either be one video or multiple depending on a lot of factors. Accidentally say your mom's name? Cut the clip. Bit isn't funny? Cut the clip. They will still have to actively filter themselves yes but for a much less amount of time. In the end CCs will have a lot more mind power that they're not using up to take care of themselves. I genuinely think it's psychologically better for them all.
It's unfortunate that the streaming industry is going to collapse this way. But also seeing how the communities heavily affected by streaming are more drama filled than communities w/o streaming, I'm lowkey hoping it's for the best. Pulling the plug like this imo is a mercy kill.
And now I'm gonna wash my mouth out for all that corporate speak I just used. Sorry for the manifesto. And if someone wants to put this manifesto on reddit idc just crop/block any usernames IG
I appreciate the essay-andy-ing these are interesting thoughts! I don't think the streaming scene will collapse entirely but I do think that it will become more advantageous to be a youtuber because people have found that to be the most consistent for many years as a CC rather than streams which require a lot of additional things (like you mentioned)
And I feel like we are seeing quite a few people say they're going to prioritize youtube more in the future which seems to be the beginning of that transition
I am curious if twitch will ever try to keep certain big-viewer streamers on the platform with 'kick-style' ($$$$) contracts.
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mysterywheeze · 3 days
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what a weekend, huh
I've refrained from using this blog to share my thoughts on the [gestures vaguely] situation for- well, for a few reasons. For one, I haven't been directly involved in the fandom for a while for personal reasons (I will reiterate that I am Mostly Fine). For two, until today we didn't have an official update on the matter. And for three, there's been A LOT of vitriol within the fanbase, so saying anything felt like stepping into a minefield.
Point three still stands. But what the hell? I've thrown my thoughts into worse rings.
My opinions on the whole fiasco can be summed up in four points.
ONE: Their initial plan was bad, and the way they announced it was even worse.
I don't think I have to explain why cutting off a large number of low-income and international fans is a shitty thing to do. That the initial treatment of Patreon fans was poor is, I think, similarly self-evident. And not just because we weren't initially given free access to the streaming platform; the abrupt cancellation of WW+ and early access screwed a lot of annual-membership patrons over.
We now have confirmation that Watcher needed a new revenue stream to stay operational, and that the team viewed this change as essentially a last resort to avoid layoffs or worse. We did not get this information in the "Goodbye YouTube" video. The Watcher team could have been upfront from the beginning, but they decided not to be. Instead they hyped up the announcement, even had a countdown, leading us to think that this was a sign of something good, when in reality it was a sign of something dire.
I hope we can all agree that more initial transparency would have significantly improved the audience reaction to the announcement.
TWO: The update/apology video was a good one.
They addressed why they made their decision, admitted to their fuck-up, and changed their plan. That's Owning Up To Your Mistakes 101. What we got was a compromise; they aren't scrapping the streaming service altogether, but they aren't abandoning fans who can't afford it altogether, either. And of course, they've told us that the streaming service is necessary for the survival of the company. Better late than never.
There's still a lot that they need to do before they can fully gain my trust. And I say gain, not regain, because this isn't the first time they've had a business fumble (NOTE: this is not about the HWYD incident). From Patreon rewards coming months late to factual errors in their educational shows, to what I strongly suspect is mismanagement of funds leading to their current financial troubles, they've always had flaws that ought to be addressed.
But it's a start. A good start at that.
THREE: Some fans reacted to the announcement (and to a lesser extent, to the update) in deeply inappropriate ways.
Look, I don't think you have to ~deeply adore~ Steven Lim to be a Watcher fan. I'll admit that, as a diehard Unsolved fan since 2017 who rarely watched Worth It before 2020, Steven's shows appealed to me less than Ryan and Shane's content did. The average viewcounts of Steven's shows compared to Ryan-n-Shane's shows indicates that my preferences are pretty common.
That being said, as someone who isn't particularly enthused about Steven content, I can appreciate the things he's done for Watcher and as a human being. He's always been the guy pushing hardest for Asian-American representation, as Grocery Run, Hidden Narratives, and especially his response to the 2021 tragedy in Atlanta, made very clear.
From years ago to just last week, he's said some poorly-worded and even insensitive things. He's a human. We're prone to doing that.
If you think that it's okay to insult him on a personal level over this weekend's fiasco, to drag up an old mistake he already publicly apologized for, or to make unfounded accusations about his moral character, you are solely mistaken and have some serious maturing to do. If you actually partook in any of those activities, I sincerely hope that you regret your actions and avoid repeating them. And if you're one of those people STILL trying to pin all the blame on Steven, or even calling for his resignation(?!?)... I don't know what to tell you. I really hope you become a kinder person soon.
This also goes for people who started getting personal with the other members of Team Watcher, or with their friends or loved ones outside the company. So what if Sara had an imperfect take? She's not responsible for Watcher's bad decision, and we shouldn't be dragging her into the discourse just because she's married to a guy who did a fuck-up.
And yeah, Shane did a fuck-up. It ain't cute to act like he's an innocent anti-capitalist baby being dragged into this mess by Steven. Same goes for people saying Ryan didn't play a part in this, but over the past few days I've seen way more support for Shane among conspiratorial fans than for Ryan. I'm not going to act like racial bias is the only factor at play here, clearly it's more complex than that, but making up conspiracies to protect your white fave while scapegoating the outspoken-against-racism Asian guy... it's not a good look. You have to realize that and evaluate your biases.
FOUR: The backlash to the backlash has become excessive and unhelpful.
I get it. When people are being dicks online, it's natural to speak out against it. And boy howdy, were some people being dicks this weekend. Emphasis on the some.
Yes, there's been a lot of mean-spirited, unconstructive hate sent Watcher's way over the past few days. There's also been an incredibly large volume of constructive criticism from all corners of the fandom. Some of it's been discussed between fans, some of it's been shared directly with Team Watcher. It doesn't stick in your mind as strongly as blatant hate does, but I can assure you, it's there.
And in the effort to defend Watcher against that hate, a lot of you have made it really hard for good-faith criticism to be heard.
Seriously, every time I see someone on the Wiscord politely criticize one of Watcher's decisions, they're immediately shut down by a fellow fan. Same thing happened to me in an unofficial fan server earlier today. My good-faith critique wasn't as important as the fact that some asshole could hypothetically make a similar argument in bad faith. Any attempt at a calm, reasoned discussion of Watcher's issues as a company gets drowned out with blind positivity.
Let me make my stance crystal clear: people are allowed to be upset about things that they aren't being forced at gunpoint to pay for. That's like, the the basis of media criticism. "You don't HAVE to pay for it so you shouldn't complain about it" is not an argument that should be taken seriously here on Al Gore's internet.
There's also been a lot of disingenuous use of the "don't you believe artists should get paid?" argument, because yes I do, and yes they have been getting paid. By thousands of people at once - far more supporters than most working artists receive in a lifetime. I personally have been supporting them financially since January of 2020, literally since day one. Watcher's situation evidently isn't ideal, but as far as independent creators go they're pretty darn privileged to have the following they have.
And if you think that Team Watcher has actually totally been doing the right thing all along, then you're wrong. The guys at Watcher themselves admitted that. If they really are the bastions of honesty you're convinced they are, you'll accept that. Above all, the changes they announced today are not proof that "the bullies won". If the bullies won, there would be no streaming service. What happened was a compromise, and the assholes in this fandom didn't want a compromise.
Look, I know you guys. I remember the old days, when we weren't afraid to provide feedback to Watcher when they fucked up, and over much smaller fumbles than this recent one. I know we've all put a lot of money and time into this company and the people behind it. The sunk-cost fallacy is a very powerful thing. But please don't let your hatred for bullies and love for the boys completely blind you to valid criticism. You can't entirely shield them from growing pains if what you want for them is real growth.
FIVE: This isn't a real point in the list I just had to separate my closing thoughts from the rest of the essay I accidentally wrote. Whoops.
The other day, I saw somebody (can't recall their handle, sorry) describe some fan reactions to Friday's announcement as "post-divorce honesty". It's far from the only comparison to a breakup I've seen. That phrase has been ringing in my head for a while now. Because this situation has made a lot of people reevaluate what they like about Watcher, why they became a fan in the first place, and if it's worth sticking around.
Watcher made a mistake. One that they could walk back but can't undo. Their reputation is never going to be the same as it was before. Likewise, a lot of fans said things that can't be taken back, and now that's tied to their reputation in our community. I can't blame anyone for feeling uneasy right now.
Hm. When I started writing this, I had an actual ending in mind. I don't know where that went.
Maybe that's the note I end this massive ramble on? Watcher's future is uncertain, the community's future is uncertain, so I'm uncertain about the last part of this post...? Agh. There's a reason why I'm more of a fiction writer than an essayist. It's getting late, I've got stuff to do tomorrow, and my browser's beginning to slow down from the sheer weight of my draft being open for so long.
Just... try to take it easy on each other, okay? It's been a hell of a week, and we haven't even finished Monday yet.
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felice-jaganshi · 13 hours
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Alastor's Leash
Chapter 1
(Sequel to both His Pet and My Fallen Apple)
(Warnings: later chapters will contain torture of beloved characters, and major character death. Be prepared for pain before you go into this one.) (Also a little one-sided radio static because i crave angst right now apparently.)
__________________
Everything was on fire, more than usual, considering it was hell. But, Alastor was having fun! And that's what's important. As it turns out, angel blood gives demons a temporary power boost!
After his rampage of blood and destruction ended, including more souls being ripped apart for his broadcasts. Charlie tried to have a talk with him.
 
“Heyyy, Alastor… While you're doing a great job protecting the hotel, and I really appreciate your efforts, I was wondering if you could… be less… murdery with it? Please?” He smiled fondly at her nervous request, ah how adorable she was.
“Hm, no.”
She groaned in frustration, “Zariah, can you please talk to your boyfriend-”
 
Zariah failed to hear another word out of Charlie's mouth. Her eyes dilated as she spotted someone she never thought she'd see again and ran full sprint to them, snatching the unsuspecting angel in a hug!
“Becca!! Becca Becca Becca! I've missed you!” She was purring so loud everyone in the room could hear. The light green haired angel responded, 
“Zariah! You've been here this whole time and didn't call me?! I've missed you too!!” She hugged Zariah back tightly. 
“Sorry, my phone broke when I fell into hell… and you know I'm bad at remembering numbers… and then I forgot to say anything to Lucifer the one time I met him because like, well, you know…” Zariah didn't want to talk about that with Alastor in the room, he'd get dangerously jealous.
In fact, you could already hear his radio static going off, indicating his frustration. 
 
“Ah, an old friend of yours darling? You must introduce me.” His smile was strained and while his tone was pleasant, Zariah knew him well enough by now to know he was a bit pissy to have the center of attention stolen away.
“Alastor, this is Becca, my bestie beyond life and death! We used to call each other soulmates when we were alive. I still think we are, honestly! Becca, this is Alastor, the radio demon! Remember when I texted you about my research?! I found him!” She made her excitement obvious, and she could hear his teeth grind for a second. Did this angel know his human life as well?!  
 
Becca looked the demon up and down with disapproval, “I heard you sold your soul to him.” She then grabbed Zariah by the shoulders and shook her about! Zariah went lax into the motion, making it look more vigorous and aggressive than it actually was.  “Make! Better! Decisions!” Zariah laughed along at the shaking, making her seem even more mad to everyone. 
Alastor found it quite charming, but also felt a tinge of rage at this woman for laying hands on his pet. He only held back doing anything because it seemed she genuinely was enjoying the attention.
 
“Beccaaaa!” Zariah finally stopped her when she'd had enough. “I may not be smart, but I'm not dumb! I know how to word a deal to not get burned. Al won't hurt me, anymore than Lucifer would hurt you.”
 
After hearing this, Alastor couldn't resist chiming back in. If she was really something special to Lucifer, it would benefit him to win her over. If only to torment the king of hell.
“Miss Becca, I believe we've gotten off on the wrong foot. I only kill sinners. Even in life, that was true. So please, do calm down. I would never harm my darling. She is more precious to me than you realize.” His words sounded so genuine.
 
She narrowed her eyes at him, “Fine, but I don't trust you. If you hurt her, I'm coming for your head!” Her gaze held a fire that made him feel Inspired! He laughed maniacally and his grin grew more lively!
“Agreed, if I fail my dearest, you have every right to seek restitution on her behalf.”
 
“Oookay, well this was exciting!” Charlie jumped in, “But now let's focus back in on some positives!” She wanted to stop any potential fights before they broke out.
 
“Right, Zariah, I actually wanted to ask you something really important. Remember how you promised to be my maid of honor if I ever got married?” Becca then held up her left hand, a bright red engagement ring on her finger.
Zariah squealed and hugged her tight, “Yes! He proposed?! I'm so happy for you!!”
 ______________
After catching up for a bit, Zariah had Alastor follow to her room, she still had that second present to give him.
 
He sat on the edge of her bed, and got nervous when she was looking underneath it for his present. “Ah, isn't that where you said you keep your… lewd materials?”
“What better place to hide a present than a place I know you'd loathe to look.” She laughed, and he couldn't help chuckling with her.
 “Very true… my clever little fox.” 
She came back up holding a wrapped box the size of a shoe box. 
 
“This present… I had to sneak into heaven to get it for you. I did that as soon as my wings had grown back.” She looked a little nervous as she said this, and his eye twitched in irritation, just as she'd worried it would. “I know, you didn't want me to leave the hotel without you, but… when you see what it is, you'll understand.”
 
He held out his hands for the box. “My pet, do I need to remind you who is supposed to be in charge here? Our deal plainly states I am to be your caretaker. I feel I may need to punish you if you keep acting so recklessly.” He was extremely annoyed as he opened the box. Inside was a book, a letter, and a cellphone. But not a voxtech one. It didn't look like any of the models in hell.
He set the box on the bed and started with the letter. He opened it, and his hands immediately began to tremble as he recognized the handwriting. It was from his mother!
 
“Dear Alastor, I heard about where you ended up. And while it hurts to hear, I gotta admit I'm also relieved. I finally understand why you haven't visited or called all these years. I still love you, you're still my sunshine on a rainy day. I gave your little girlfriend a copy of my recipes. Just like I planned to if you ever got married one day. She's such a sweetheart, and I know you'll take good care of her. Now you call me up on that heaven phone sometimes and let's chat once and awhile. Don't break your old lady's heart! With love, Mama”
 
Tears fell onto the page. She… she still… he could call her! He looked at the phone in the box, it was from heaven then! And the book! He set down the letter and took up the book, opening it to find more of her handwriting. These were all her recipes with notes and stories about him added in. He looked up at Zariah through blurry tear filled eyes, she was a true angel. His personal angel. What did he do to deserve her?
“Al, do you want some time alone to talk to your mom?” Her voice was soft and caring, but not pitiful. He sighed and dried his eyes.
“I've never used a cell phone before. How do I…” He picked up the device and looked it over. She smiled and showed him which buttons turned it on and showed that his mother's number was already saved and labeled as “Mama”. 
He then went to his room to have a very… difficult chat…
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malbenita · 1 year
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Vampire Yor fanart that was meant to be a Halloween one but I REALLY underestimated amount of time I would need to finish it. And also with lack of experience… so many silly MISTAAAKES AAAAGH
Month later I just gave up, so it’s an unfinished WIP. Maybe will redraw it some other year, who knows! But to finish this one? NOPE IT’S A MESS (still like idea and some details though so showing it here)
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exopelagic · 1 month
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okay facing consequences of my actions
#I thought I’d gotten away with it this time#okay it’s 3am and I may have discovered something that completely ruins me#everyone is asleep so I can’t tell if this is me being sleep deprived or not!#so I need to sleep now but I haven’t cleaned my code up or written my answers#I do Not have time#if I don’t sleep now I’m gonna be having a bad time tomorrow morning and I am significantly less productive rn than I could be#with other people around I kinda need that y#so I should go to bed. but also. this code needs cleaning. but also. even if I fall asleep now I’m only getting like 5 hours MAX#I need a good few hours tomorrow morning to have a shot at doing this properly#so it would be more useful to sleep now and wake up as early as possible than keep going tonight bc I’m not going to finish tonight#okay. fuck. I hate this#if I could think straight I’d be able to fix this easy which is probably a good reason to sleep#it’s just an annoying logical problem that I gotta follow through bc currently I’m stuck between three possibilities and there might be more#I have these two rasters and I gotta calculate the area overlap#the first method counts the number of presence points in each (probably) and then counts the number in overlap raster w manually set values#the second counts total predicted points and points where they’re predicted to be alone and does a calculation with that for each species#that one with all points from both species + pseudoabsence. vs method 3 which does that with just individual species coordinates#method 1&2 are now homologous now I JUST caught the logical error but method 3 is what he gave us#but actually he might have fucked up in not including pseudoabsence#i don’t know if method 3 works for two different species either honestly#it gives me results I like much more (my overlap is 100% for one of the species and that shoooouldnt rlly happen even if it’s possible) but#I think it might actually just be wrong because it can’t account for#wait so the line is taking the prediction for all coordinates for each species for each species’ initial coordinates. and not pseudoabsence#and that set of predictions for each species coordinate set is then taken and yeah it’s no longer comparable you can’t count each alone#not with two different species bc you need an overlapping dataset to do that OKAY I have solved that logical problem my initial method works#which is annoying bc the result sucks but whatever I checked the rasters and it’s actually identical so#okay now I’ve figured that out. twenty minutes later. sleep I think it’ll help most#luke.txt
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birdmenmanga · 2 months
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birdmen fans all over the world rejoicing because I've slowly stopped posting about the queer metaphor but little do they know edits of the manga with excerpts of the communist manifesto are just on the horizon
#just thinking thoughts...#stray bird thoughts#I feel like people have less of a right to frown upon this though like the communism is like. VERY prominent in-text.#like it is more explicitly discussed than the queer metaphor stuff. which I think is deeper in the foundations of the story but isn't SAID#prologue is very obviously eishi lamenting the fact that he is only going to school so he can become a laborer in a society#which doesn't actually care about him#and once again. barbara's castle speech.#like this makes barbara and guang feng's stance of 'destroy all humanity' make more sense#because what they're REALLY saying is 'destroy the bourgeoisie'#however because humanity also represents the cishetallos tanabe can't actually go through with the extermination#see I respect the effort and why bm is the way it is makes even more sense now#but like. now despite all the efforts to push for communism you have this milquetoast halfway stance of#well communism can coexist with the bourgeoisie actually <- I don't think this is true????#but see that's why I think the queer metaphor thing is actually the number 1 thread tanabe wanted to follow#because the ending doesn't make sense from a bm are communists interpretation#'the bourgeoisie can choose to become proletariat at any time and if they choose to do so we will support them'????#so you're still in the basic framework of capitalism then. your revolution changed nothing. am I crazy#oh my GOD is takayama saying 'let's go to a time where capitalism never happened' and eishi's saying 'nooo suck cock fallacy'#'we fought so hard for communism in this timeline and failed(?) but I don't want all this work to just vanish#'so no let's not remake the world with true communism'#what's wrong with you eishi#i get it now. arthur and takayama were right.#but also he's a middle class boy. what did we expect#(and also it's being published in shonen sunday. one more time what did we expect)
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hearties-circus · 8 months
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I kinda feel like I've just hard erased any happiness or elation I had from being done with school all just so I wouldnt get asked a stupid question anymore I hate this I hate this
#gamer txt.#not once have i actually fucking wanted to go to college this was just the only way to make ppl stop asking me about jobs#but im realising now that was a stupid decision and i hate that i made it i hate tgat i had the chance to back out and didnt#the only thing that made school worth it before was my friends that was the only time id get to see them#now im going back to school completely without them like a fucking idiot#i know college is different from highschool i get that and i do want to learn fab weld but fuck me this was dumb#i know damn well im not going to make any new friends during this course im more terrified of people than ive ever been#and i stick out from my class like a sore thumb#whats worse is my nervousness from this has started fucking with my appetite and hunger and that is the worst possible thing it could do#that is like the number one way to break me#im already in such a vulnerable state i do not need constant fucking reminders of trauma i cant fucking escape#and im meant to just be normal and be a person and go to class on monday?#im this close 👌 to just dogging it. im pretty sure ill be getting the train in like i could full well just fuck off and leave#its not like they have my mums number she wouldnt know any different from what i told her#can i not just stay in the purgatory of being a teen old enough to be done with school but young enough to not have a job forever ?#please? im not ready for this im not i couldnt be less ready for this why did i let myself succumb to this pressure? i hate it#g-d i havent cried in. months now. this feels so. this is too much this is way too much fot me i cant do this#i dont know how i thought i could when the hell have i ever been able to do something like this on my own#theres nothing to me on my own i dont have any confidence i dont have any strength i need my friends for that and i dont have them
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nero-neptune · 2 years
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about time i draw my two favorite time travelers
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seventh-district · 11 months
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why have i suddenly been gripped with the desire to get back into fishkeeping
#Seven.txt#fish stuff#fishkeeping#fish keeping#fishblr#i’m not complaining cause i’ve lowkey missed feeling so passionate about the hobby but. my brain couldn’t have picked a less convenient tim#me: trying to spend less money and manage my time better#my brain: hey hey hey you know what you should do? you should get back into a really expensive and time-consuming hobby!!! it’ll be fun!!!#and i mean. it’s not like i truly ever got out of it i just sort of dialed back the number of tanks and fish i have over the past few years#so i’ve currently got a bunch of empty tanks and equipment sitting around collecting dust#i do still have three fish that i thought would be my last for a While. i’ve had them for a number of years and they’re all old by now#so i’m just trying to help them live the rest of their days as comfortably as they can#well. Paprika and Thing One are near their end but in spite of the Mystery Growth on Thing Two’s head that little guy is still doing fine#so he could still be here for awhile. who knows. but anyways#fishkeeping was one of my first really intense and long lasting special interests/hyperfixations so it’s such a strange feeling#to have it come back so strongly and for no obvious reason. but. that’s the nature of fixations i suppose!#insert Drake and Josh ‘I do not control the hyperfixation’ meme here#anyways. the project to finally set up the 75gal that’s been sitting empty for years is finally underway!!! so that’s exciting!#now i’ve got to make a list of things i need and find somewhere to set up a quarantine tank. hrmmm#and also cry over the fact that the filter i need is 200 dollars ahahahaaaaa why did my brain have to latch onto this hobby oh my god#oh man. i’ve gotta order the snails and activated media before the weather gets any warmer or they’ll cook in the bag on the way here ugh#This Post Brought To You By- me sitting here refreshing my email every 10 mins. waiting for Cynthia to let me know if she still has#these two adorable Sakura Ranchus avaliable to purchase. i mean. they were listed in Sep. 2021 so i will be Shocked if she still has them#but maybe the universe will smile upon me and i'll get lucky!
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willowfey · 1 year
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ignore this i just wanna ramble in the tags for a sec i’ll probably delete it in a bit 🤪
#did an escape room with the fam on my sister’s birthday two days ago and my brother made me feel stupid the entire time#wouldn’t listen to me wouldn’t share or let me help and then act like i wasn’t helping (??? let me then)#and because he’s Loud my whole family was following his lead and ignoring me#but in the end i was the reason we won bc i was the only one who immediately understood the word riddles AND the one who wrote down#all the numbers he said we wouldn’t need. i was the only one who could connect the past information with the current problem#the only one who listened fully to the cd and decided to write down the locations without it being relevant yet#the only one who thought the tiny details might be relevant and the only one who automatically fixed his mistakes bc i noticed a pattern#and in the end still got no credit for anything (except from my mom) even tho if they had listened to me from the beginning they would’ve#been less stressed and finished sooner#then at the restaurant he didn’t listen to me again and we ordered too much even tho i told him we wouldn’t need it#THEN after dinner my grandma started texting me all frustrated telling me i need to keep my aunt updated on what’s happening thru the day#so she doesn’t feel left out. bc she’s having a rough time lately. bc it’s my job to make everyone feel better#FIRST of all this woman ignored me for years when her ex husband decided i wasn’t worth it#and now suddenly it’s my job to keep u informed on my every move so u don’t feel left out?? text me urself. ask what i’m doing.#ask HOW i’m doing??? do u even care beyond a ‘what colour is your sturdiness today namaste’#every time my aunt complains about the tiniest thing and starts crying about it it my grandma blames everyone else#no one even knows or cares if i’m having a rough time#she came to ‘help’ when my mom was sick and i did everything for her instead. and then she threw a fit when i wouldn’t eat her salad#when i was too exhausted from staying up all night with my mother to go on a run with her the next day#my mom finally got mad at her for implying i’m lazy all the time and told her i’m ‘neurodiverse’ and do things my own way and she didn’t#even know what that meant so my mom was like ‘on the spectrum ‘ and my aunt just got mad that she had never told her#would it have made a difference at all? would u have expected different from me?#meanwhile i’ve done so much for my cousin… including taking care of luca the entire time she stayed with us. i had him all the time#i didn’t mind. i love that kid more than anything. but everyone expects everything from me like it’s just a given#i talked her through every problem every breakdown walked on eggshells to keep her happy and then what does she do when she leaves?#ignores me. doesn’t come back when she said she would. complains that i don’t include her in things#bc sometimes i have quiet conversations with my sister so i don’t bother everyone#and then gg wants to know why i won’t come see her? why i won’t drop everything to fly there? my aunt wants to know why i don’t call?#because despite loving me u have made me feel inadequate my whole life. some of u more than others#and i’m tired. and it’s time for me to Be me For me without justifying it to everyone else.
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mobbothetrue · 2 years
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VS MEMORY is now officially longer than victory lies before you and it’s set up to just keep getting longer
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chuluoyi · 1 month
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✎ wedding anniversary
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- gojo satoru x reader
seven years of dating, two years of wedded bliss, and gojo is having his greatest existential crisis yet... all because this year, you apparently have forgotten the most important day of your lives
genre: 18+ suggestive content—minors do not interact!—heavy smut, fingering, cunnilingus, p in v sex, slight breeding kink, crack, drunk, lovesick and possessive gojo (nanami is so very done with him), also fluff !!
note: back to chu's thirsting hour :') based on a fellow gojo fucker's very helpful brainrot (chiyo if you see this, hii!😗) pls give it some love bc this has gone through not showing up in the tags 5x already *sobs*
a part of gojo's love entries
series masterlist | oneshot masterlist
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To this day, it was still beyond Nanami why you, his very sensible former classmate, would have Gojo Satoru as your husband.
“She... doesn't—hic!—care about m-me... anymore!”
But well, to each their own.
“Gojo—”
“Today is our—hic!—anniversary!”
This is exhausting. It had been 30 minutes ever since the blindfolded shithead started rambling his sorrows. “She is probably just busy, you don't have to—”
“I r-really thought—hic!—she would at least n-not forget it l-like that!”
“Please, stop this nonse—”
Satoru snapped his head so swiftly that Nanami was startled, pointing out an accusatory finger at his face. “You stop!—you don't understand, Nanami!”
The said man flinched, taken aback, before feeling the surge of irritation coursing through his veins.
Sure, Nanami would gladly admit that he didn't understand. He neither had the time nor energy to. It was beyond him that he was even entertaining this blubbering idiot at this time of the day, in a bar no less. How did he get roped into this in the first place?
Actually, he had minus interest in your marital affairs, but Gojo was latching onto him all day, rambling about how excited he was for this day for weeks now, until you gave him a call, saying you would be home late and disregarded his very open anticipation. You broke his heart to pieces, apparently.
Amidst his heartbroken musings, Gojo followed him to his frequented bar, where he proceeded to down multiple glasses without any supervision.
“Am I really t-that lousy? Can’t be it… I’m s-strong, d-dashing… rich—”
Nanami released a guttural sigh, messaging his temples. How could this idiot have no shame while spouting all of this?
“Will s-she… divorce me next…?” he abruptly blurted, eyes widening as saucers and full of clarity all of a sudden. Satoru firmly tugged at his suit and forced him to face him. “Nanamin…! S-she won’t divorce me, r-right?!”
Oh, to hell with it. Nanami couldn’t take this anymore. He was done and he had no patience to tolerate it any longer.
He shrugged him off, and pulled out his phone to dial your number. “Hello? Please, come pick your husband. He’s a public nuisance!”
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In fact, you didn’t forget your anniversary.
How could you? Satoru made it his point to drop hints about it almost every day, and you actually struggled to be indifferent about it because you also had things planned out.
A present—already taken care of thanks to your mail order of Rolex’s newest collection watch, and a treat—a two-tier mochi cake he had been staring at with literal stars in his eyes on your last date.
Which has become the problem. The bakery had mishandled your delivery and you had to wait for them to remake it. It was 8pm already and you couldn't help but worry. Satoru must be feeling utterly despondent by now, thinking you had forgotten a day that meant so much for both of you.
And so when you got a call from Nanami, you dropped everything to get him and told the bakery to arrange for the delivery tomorrow, because you knew... nothing good ever came out of Satoru getting drunk.
"I missed youuuu~! Dearest, darling— my universe!"
To Satoru, the everything around him was a blur of lights and hiccups when you came to retrieve him. Nanami was so eager to wash his hands off him, leaving you with a pointed grimace as if pitying you.
. . .
"A-are you going to—hic!—leave m-me?" Satoru slurred for the nth time now, stumbling inside your house with you propping him.
"For the last time, no, but I'm tempted to," you hissed, throwing him a glare. Your husband was a very unpleasant drunk because he wasn't even a drinker in the first place. "Satoru—walk properly!"
You managed to get him into your bedroom, where Satoru flopped onto the bed, dissolving into groans. You exhaled deeply and plucked the buttons of his shirt open, trying to get him change into his sleepwear.
"Ah... haaah," suddenly he caught your hand and placed it on his bare chest, his eyes blazing into yours, rambling, "Sweetheart—please. I c-can't live without you now... I'm sorry—I'm sorry for anything, or everything, I don't even know but—please don't hate me—"
"Satoru..." Your eyes widened slightly in surprise. Why was he this spooked? "I'm not leaving you, okay?"
"I promise you, I'll do better—" his voice was watery, as if his throat was clogged up. "I'll be better..." His voice then reduced into a whisper. The alcohol had stripped away his facade, leaving his raw emotions exposed.
Something inside you lurched. Throughout the nine years you have been with him, Gojo Satoru was always irritatingly self-assured, and so seeing him like this— so openly fragile, it did more than just churn your insides; it made you realize the depth of his feelings.
In that moment, you knew your reassurance meant everything.
"I'm not going anywhere, yeah?" you placed your other hand over his, offering him a genuine, soft smile. “Satoru, I’ve put up with your ass for more than nine years. So…” you shifted your eyes away, suddenly feeling embarrassed, before looking at him again. “I'm here... for you, always.”
His grip on your hand loosened slightly, but the intensity in his gaze didn't wane, and you would've laughed when he hiccupped next if you weren't feeling the overwhelming warmth in your chest.
But oh you wouldn't have expected it, because one heartbeat later, he yanked you down to the bed— crashing his lips against yours.
“Mmmph!”
He tangled his nimble fingers on your hair, and his other hand slipped inside your blouse, unclasping your bra in one flick. You let out a gasp, "Satoru—! "
Before you could even gasp, in the next second, he flipped you over— seizing your puffy lips once more. His hands now moved with more urgency, squeezing your breasts rather roughly, flicking your nipples with the pads on his thumbs.
And soon, far sooner than you thought...
"Who else gets to see you like this?" Satoru inquired darkly after you were naked under him, his voice low and deep. He was no longer that stupid husband of yours, rather the wanton man of your nightly wonders.
Without warning, he slid one of his fingers into your folds, probing your walls, and a gasp escaped you as you arched your back, throwing your head back on the sheets.
"No— one," your voice came in a breathless moan, still reeling. "H-how can y-you ask me—" Stretching you out even further, he entered another finger and you wailed, "Mmgh!"
He had always loved the sounds you made and how you were so pretty squirming under him like this. And before you knew it, his face was inches from your cunt, blowing hot air into your sensitive flesh.
"Tell me, who is the only person who gets to see you like this?"
Your eyes rolled back, words died on your tongue as his skilled tongue ran down on your drenched pussy. You instinctively tried to close your legs around his head, but he firmly held them apart.
"You." Panting, your mind racing to form coherent thoughts. You managed to mutter, "Only you... No one else—hah—just y-you...!"
He suckled on your clit hungrily then, rewarding you for your honesty. Squelching noises echoed around your marital bed as your arousal pooled around his fingers— you being so incredibly, irrevocably close to your release.
"Haaah, ngh—mmph!—Satoru, I'm a-about to—!" but then, in one cruel twist, he withdrew his digits, and your pussy throbbed at the loss.
You muffled your whines, feeling betrayed and irritable. "What—why—!?"
"Don't think that I'll let you cum anywhere else but my cock," he stated gallantly with an unusually stern expression, blue eyes narrowing as he assessed your wetness. Right in front of your eyes, his cock sprung after he let it out of his pants.
"Soon, you'll feel me..." Your eyes shamelessly followed his long length as he placed it on your lower belly. "...there."
Everything about him using that taunting tone turned you on, and true to his words, he soon slid himself inside you. He let out a low grunt at the feeling of how your walls clenching around him and you whined, the pain of being stretched making you almost sob.
"Shit, hold still," Satoru groaned, pushing down on your belly. "You're so tight— relax for me a bit, sweetheart? You're doing so, so fucking well."
His words went through you, and you could feel yourself opening more to ease his intrusion. Next thing you knew, he was buried deep inside you, and his gaze met you once again.
"Are you okay?" he asked between breaths, voice softening. When you nodded in response, he planted a kiss on your chest.
"I love you," he said in a rasp, eyes piercing your soul. "I’ll give you anything. My body, heart, soul—you can have it all. In return, you just have to promise one thing." His eyes, now clearer, deprived of the earlier haze, boring straight into you like an arrow.
"Don't ever leave me."
"I won't," you replied resolutely, catching your breath. Your own eyes shone with your love for him, making it even. "For as long as I live, it's going to always be you."
Satoru gazed at you as if you were his skies and stars, and before he started pounding into you, he vowed—
"Then I'm yours."
And soon, you were a nothing more than a frenzy, hot mess. You couldn’t help the nasty moans flying out of your lips as he kept barreling into you. His grunts reverberated throughout the room, rutting you through your hazed mind.
And the way he was whispering provocations into your ear, pushing you further into ecstasy at the mere thought of—
"What if... I get you pregnant this time?" A thrust. "Just imagine—" Another. "My wife, all round—" Another. "—just because I—am doing this to her—!"
You were barely registering his rambles at this point. Your walls clenching around his girth impossibly tight and you let him claim you as his thoroughly, your legs locking around his waist.
"Ah—ngh, mmrgh! Satoru—more!"
This wasn't you, the usual you wouldn't be this daring— but even you'll be more than forgiven tonight.
Satoru's jaw tightened at the sheer pleasure you brought him, his ego stroked, and his heavenly eyes darkened as you begged and dug your nails into him. He was so close, he could feel it. Your moans was enough to lead him to cum right here and there.
But before that, he was determined to show you, to whom you truly belong.
“My wife.” He growled. A thrust.
“Mine.” You gasped. Harder.
“All mine.” Deeper.
"Yes," you cried. "Yours— all yours, so please—!"
And three deep thrusts later, Satoru finally busted his load inside you, spurts after spurts painting your wall white— filling you up so hard it was spilling out. And your orgasm followed in immediate effect along with your hitched screams of pleasure, before the two of you collapsed on each other, a mix of groans and sweat, entwined in cum, bliss and exhaustion.
"Love you, sweetheart," you heard him murmuring in your ears, enveloping you in a warm embrace as you drifted into sleep.
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Next morning, you were awoken to soft hums in your ears.
"Oh, the sleeping beauty awakens." The first sight you saw was Satoru's cheeky grin, and him pecking you on the lips. "How are you?"
"Mmm..." you winced, feeling the slight twinge between your legs. He noticed it and gently untangled himself from you, fingers tracing your waist. "Don't move around too much, you're going to bother my little swimmers, you know."
It took you a few seconds to realize what he meant and you glared at him. "You horny weirdo. I just woke up."
“Heh heh heh~ Don't take it too seriously! I was just trying to get you to smile.” He pinched your cheeks and then mused, “Well, I'd actually be surprised if we made it last night...”
"You're not funny," you retorted. You had been feeling weird and that was when you saw it.
The dazzling, massive diamond ring. On your finger. Wait, is that Graff's Tribal Collection?
"Satoru..." you mumbled, lifting your hand in shock, your eyes fixed on the piece that likely cost more than your monthly wage. "You..."
"Do you like it?" his smile was so easy and light, adoring the sight of you. You were so adorable, marveling at the little gift he got you.
"What do you mean—" you stuttered, turning to him. "Are you crazy?! I can't wear something this expensive—!"
"But that's exactly my point. It's a gift, meant to spoil my wife."
"You are mad," warmth flooded your cheeks, your heart fluttering with joy. You were unbelievably giddy because your husband really knew the way to your heart, yet you'd be damned if you let the excitement show in front of him.
He raised an eyebrow, his expression souring, and with a mocking tone, he accused you, "Actually, you're the one who's gone mad. I can't believe you forgot our anniversary!"
"I didn't, you dummy. I was out picking up your favorite mochi cake before you got yourself wasted." You turned away from him, shyly. "And I got a gift for you too."
"Oh? Oooh! Really!? What is it?!"
He was back to his silly self again, and you could only shake your head, wondering how the sex god from last night and this fool was the same person.
Yet, you felt nothing but love. Your heart couldn't help but melt for him when you saw that carefree grin.
And you couldn't be more grateful to the stars for bringing him into your life.
. . .
Oh, and little did you know that his little swimmers also made the goal last night— as three weeks later, you found yourself clutching the first of your pregnancy tests, which was showing a positive.
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fuckyeahgoodomens · 2 months
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Terry Pratchett about fantasy ❤
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Terry Pratchett interview in The Onion, 1995 (x)
O: You’re quite a writer. You’ve a gift for language, you’re a deft hand at plotting, and your books seem to have an enormous amount of attention to detail put into them. You’re so good you could write anything. Why write fantasy?
Terry: I had a decent lunch, and I’m feeling quite amiable. That’s why you’re still alive. I think you’d have to explain to me why you’ve asked that question.
O: It’s a rather ghettoized genre.
Terry: This is true. I cannot speak for the US, where I merely sort of sell okay. But in the UK I think every book— I think I’ve done twenty in the series— since the fourth book, every one has been one the top ten national bestsellers, either as hardcover or paperback, and quite often as both. Twelve or thirteen have been number one. I’ve done six juveniles, all of those have nevertheless crossed over to the adult bestseller list. On one occasion I had the adult best seller, the paperback best-seller in a different title, and a third book on the juvenile bestseller list. Now tell me again that this is a ghettoized genre.
O: It’s certainly regarded as less than serious fiction.
Terry: (Sighs) Without a shadow of a doubt, the first fiction ever recounted was fantasy. Guys sitting around the campfire— Was it you who wrote the review? I thought I recognized it— Guys sitting around the campfire telling each other stories about the gods who made lightning, and stuff like that. They did not tell one another literary stories. They did not complain about difficulties of male menopause while being a junior lecturer on some midwestern college campus.
Fantasy is without a shadow of a doubt the ur-literature, the spring from which all other literature has flown. Up to a few hundred years ago no one would have disagreed with this, because most stories were, in some sense, fantasy. Back in the middle ages, people wouldn’t have thought twice about bringing in Death as a character who would have a role to play in the story. Echoes of this can be seen in Pilgrim’s Progress, for example, which hark back to a much earlier type of storytelling. The epic of Gilgamesh is one of the earliest works of literature, and by the standard we would apply now— a big muscular guys with swords and certain godlike connections— That’s fantasy. The national literature of Finland, the Kalevala. Beowulf in England. I cannot pronounce Bahaghvad-Gita but the Indian one, you know what I mean. The national literature, the one that underpins everything else, is by the standards that we apply now, a work of fantasy.
Now I don’t know what you’d consider the national literature of America, but if the words Moby Dick are inching their way towards this conversation, whatever else it was, it was also a work of fantasy. Fantasy is kind of a plasma in which other things can be carried. I don’t think this is a ghetto. This is, fantasy is, almost a sea in which other genres swim. Now it may be that there has developed in the last couple of hundred years a subset of fantasy which merely uses a different icongraphy, and that is, if you like, the serious literature, the Booker Prize contender. Fantasy can be serious literature. Fantasy has often been serious literature. You have to fairly dense to think that Gulliver’s Travels is only a story about a guy having a real fun time among big people and little people and horses and stuff like that. What the book was about was something else. Fantasy can carry quite a serious burden, and so can humor. So what you’re saying is, strip away the trolls and the dwarves and things and put everyone into modern dress, get them to agonize a bit, mention Virginia Woolf a few times, and there! Hey! I’ve got a serious novel. But you don’t actually have to do that.
(Pauses) That was a bloody good answer, though I say it myself.
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rebeccathenaturalist · 4 months
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Welcome to my Tuesday morning PSA about plastics!
So--I was walking along the Bolstadt beach approach sidewalk here in Long Beach, WA yesterday afternoon, and I started seeing these little orange pellets on the ground that looked a little bit like salmon roe (but probably weren't). So I picked one up, and it was most definitely rubber. I went around picking up every one I could find, and while I didn't keep exact count I probably amassed 50-60 of them. I took this picture before depositing them in the nearest trash can.
These are airsoft gun pellets, and you can buy them in big jars containing thousands of them. That means that someone who decided that the beach was a great place to shoot their airsoft guns could easily litter the place with countless little bits of plastic rubber in less than an hour. We already have a huge problem here with people leaving trash, including tiny bits of plastic, all over the beach (you should see the gigantic mess after 4th of July fireworks when thousands of people come in from out of town, blow things up, and then leave again without picking up after themselves.)
But these airsoft pellets have a particularly nasty side effect. You know how my first thought was "wow, those look kind of like salmon roe?" Well, we have a number of opportunistic omnivore birds like crows, ravens, and several species of gull that commonly scavenge on the beach, especially along the approaches because people often feed them there. If I can catch the resemblance of an orange airsoft pellet to a fish egg, then chances are there are wildlife that will assume they're edible.
Since birds don't chew their food, they probably won't notice that the taste or texture is wrong--it'll just go down the hatch. And since they can't digest the pellets, there's a good chance they might just build up in the bird's digestive system, especially if the bird eats a large number of them--say, fifty or sixty of them dropped on the ground along the same fifty foot stretch of sidewalk. The bird might die of starvation if there's not enough capacity for food in their stomach--or they might just die painfully of an impacted gut, and no way to get help for it. If the pellets end up washed into the ocean, you get the same issue with fish and other marine wildlife eating them, and then of course the pellets eventually breaking up into microplastic particles.
You can get biodegradable airsoft pellets; they appear to mainly be gray or white in color rather than bright screaming orange and green. But "biodegradable" doesn't mean "instantly dissolves the next time it rains." An Amazon listing for Aim Green biodegradable airsoft pellets advertise them as "Our biodegradable BBs are engineered to degrade only with long-term exposure to water and sun and will degrade 180 days after being used." That's half a year for them to be eaten by wildlife.
I don't know, y'all. That handful of carelessly dropped rubber pellets just encapsulates how much people don't factor in the rest of nature when making decisions, even on something that is purely for entertainment like an airsoft gun. We could have had a lot of the same technological advances we have today, but with much less environmental impact, if we had considered the long-term effects on both other people and other living beings, as well as our habitats. We could have found ways from the beginning to make these things in ways that benefited us but also mitigated any harm as much as possible. Instead we're now having to reverse-engineer things we've been using for decades, and sometimes--like the "biodegradable" airsoft pellets--they still have a significant negative impact.
But--at least there are people trying to do things better, thinking ahead instead of just on immediate profit. We're stuck in a heck of a mess here, figuratively and literally, and changing an entire system can't be done in a day. Maybe we can at least keep pushing for a cultural shift that emphasizes planning far into the future--if not the often-cited "seven generations ahead", then at least throughout the potential lifespan of a given product.
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catboyieejeno · 5 months
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.・゜゜・・゜゜・..・゜゜・★
cw: little plot, roommates/fwb to lovers (ig?), strength kink, oral (fem receiving), slightly toxic (?), jealousy, very possessive jeno, overstimulation
18+ minors do not interact !
"stop fucking moving,"
you gasp out when jeno lands a slap on your clit, unable to help but jolt at the wave of pain and pleasure that shoots through your nerves. your eyes are dazed, but you can still make out his figure between your legs. he readjusts, using his big palms to keep your thighs far apart.
"i-i'm sorry, i'm sorry," you whimper weakly. he doesn't pay any mind to your apology, though, attaching his mouth to your dripping cunt once again.
by now, you knew jeno well enough to know exactly what pushed his buttons. it's exhilarating to test his limits, because more often than not, you'd end up with a few mind-blowing orgasms as your so-called 'punishment' at the end of the night.
so earlier, when your mutual friend jaemin came over, you thought it would be ingenious to settle down on the couch beside him and swing your legs over his lap.
that was your first mistake.
"sit there and take it," jeno growls, "and stay fucking still unless you want me to edge you all night,"
you knew your little plan would bother jeno, and it very much did. it was painfully obvious on his features, from the moment you hiked up your smooth legs and laid them over jaemin's thighs.
jeno's glare was unyielding, and he had his jaw clenched so tight, you worried his teeth might crack.
purely oblivious to your antics and jeno’s sudden sour mood, jaemin didn't think twice about resting his hands on your bare skin—it was an innocent gesture, really. the problem was, when he told a joke that made you laugh, you laughed a little too hard, taking his hand into your own and sliding it up your thigh.
it was bad enough that your cotton shorts were absolutely tiny, but it was worse that they were now tucked high between your legs. by the time you settled jaemin's hand where you wanted it to be, he was no less than a few inches from your core.
that was mistake number two.
"jeno. holy shit, please,"
"you wanna tease me, huh? wanna get me jealous? you like that shit," it doesn't matter that he's mumbling into your folds and his speech is slightly slurred, you catch onto his every word.
he laps you up again and again, alternating between laying his tongue flat on your clit and wrapping his lips around it to suck on it. his hands have slid up your waist, but his elbows keep your legs pinned open.
you're, quite literally, on fire. the wet, slurping sounds of him making out with your pussy are so loud that they're deafening. every groan and growl he grants shoots vibrations through you, and there doesn't seem to be enough oxygen in the room with the way you're rigidly panting.
if he didn't let you come soon, you're pretty sure you'd pass out.
"do you want anything to drink, jae?"
jeno scoffs. since when the fuck did you call jaemin 'jae?'
"some water would be nice, thanks," the boy flashed his smile at you and you stood up, ass practically hanging out of your shorts and right in his face. you couldn't see with your back turned, but jeno caught the way his friend's eyes darted to your pretty, plump cheeks, adam's apple bobbing as he gulped.
you returned with his glass, but just before you handed it to him, you pretended to stumble, and some of the water landed right over his crotch.
was it extremely cliche? sure, but it certainly did the trick.
when you came back with a kitchen towel chanting fake apologies and just about straddled one of his legs, jeno had pretty much had enough.
but then, as if that wasn't nearly enough, you went on to wipe away at jaemin's jeans (right over his slightly swelling bulge) wearing the most infuriatingly innocent look on your face.
"i'm so sorry!"
"it's okay, really," jaemin insisted, subconsciously spreading his knees farther apart so you could continue to dry him off.
"it's really not! jeno," you called, turning and batting your eyes, "can't you lend him one of your pairs?"
the moment your gaze landed on him, you knew you were fucked.
he narrowed his eyes on you, shooting daggers your way. after letting some air out through his nose, he seethed through his tightened teeth a small "sure."
and that? that was mistake number three.
"jeno, baby, i'm so close,"
"no," he warns, "don't you dare fucking come."
"i can't help it, i'm gonna-"
he stops at once, pulling the rug clean from under you and smirking at the way you whine out, body seizing up as your orgasm is stripped away. he watches as your hole pulses incessantly with need, grinding himself into the mattress.
you cry out, "i said i was sorry," but he only tuts, shaking his head.
"you made your bed, now lie in it."
"please," you're breathless and desperate for some sort of release. so much so, that you resort to shamelessly bargaining, "i'll give you head everyday for the next week,"
"not good enough. I can fuck your mouth whenever I want,"
"jeno! i'll- fuck, i don't know," you look around as you rack through your brain, but he doesn't let you finish your thought.
"say you're mine."
"but,” you pause, eyes widening, “i-i'm not,"
jeno sticks his middle finger knuckle deep into you, stilling it there within your tight, fluttering walls, "so then, tell me. you want jaemin's mouth on you instead of mine?"
"no," you answer quickly, honestly.
he pumps into you once, then twice, slowly coaxing the confession out of you, "then say it, baby. say you're mine, that i'm the only one who makes you feel this good,"
"i'm not yours, jeno. we-we've been over this,"
"i guess you don't wanna come then, do you?" he withdraws his digit and sits up on his knees, unbuckling his belt and undoing his pants, "i don't know why you have to be so fucking stubborn all the time,"
you watch as he pulls his length out of his boxers, mouth working to gather saliva to the front of his mouth. he spits, letting it fall onto his swollen, pink tip. it's hard to hide the way you're basically squirming in anticipation, hips practically bucking up and closer to him.
"i'm sorry," you try again, voice sweet and airy. but again, he doesn't answer. he simply lines himself up with your hole and pushes in with a hiss, training his eyes on you to watch the way your jaw goes slack.
"you're a brat," he scolds, "and a tease," his hands press down on your tummy, resting his weight there. when he bottoms out, you grip his wrists, looking down to watch the way he sits on his heels with his dick buried in you.
"i'm sorr-“
"stop fucking saying that," he thrusts into you and you moan out, "you know what i wanna hear," his gradually increasing pace makes you shudder, and your orgasm starts building within you once again, "i'm gonna fuck you so good, you'll never even think about jaemin again,"
jeno rams his hips into you and the sound of your skin slapping against his echoes around your bedroom. you try to cover up how close you're getting, hoping that maybe, just maybe, he won't notice until it's too late.
the only problem is: jeno knows you just as well as you know him, and even more so, he knows your body. he prides himself in that—in catching every little involuntary sign and habit you have.
he knows the way your toes curl when he hits the right spot, deep within your gummy walls, and he knows the way your eyes gloss over to spill hot tears when he chokes you.
your face might be able to conceal your true intentions, but your pussy, gushing and squeezing around him, can not.
“if i feel you come around me, so help me god, i’m gonna stop,”
there isn’t the slightest hint of a bluff behind his sharp tone, and it pisses you off. your cheeks are red hot with frustration, nails digging into his skin, which only makes him squeeze your waist harder. the pleasure is dizzying, his thick length dragging up and down your walls in the most delectable way.
you aren’t gonna last much longer, you know that. he knows that.
“please, jeno. please please please,”
“i’ll let you come, baby. there’s nothing i want more than for you to come on my cock, but i need you to tell me,”
sneakily, you trail your hand between your legs to stimulate your clit, but he’s quick to grasp both of your wrists before you can even savor the feeling, pinning your arms on your chest between your bouncing breasts.
you’re a mere second away from whining out in protest when his own free hand flies to rub circles on your puffy clit, and suddenly, the feeling is far too overwhelming.
forced to blink harshly a few times to regain focus, you look at his features and come to the conclusion that truthfully, jaemin, and no one else for that matter, could ever make you feel like this.
you didn’t want anyone else anyway. your little act was just a ploy to get you to this very point, stuck underneath jeno who manages to make you come so hard each and every time he’s inside you that you wind up seeing stars.
as the cord threatens to snap in your belly, every ounce of you longing for release, you moan out loudly, giving in, “i’m yours! i don’t want anyone else, i promise,”
“yeah?”
“yes,” you insist, “yes, baby. fuck, m’all yours, always yours,”
he leans down to press a kiss to your lips, and suddenly, all the anger he had been airing out fades for a moment. he doesn’t shove his tongue down your throat (although you wouldn’t have minded much), and he doesn’t move his lips in any kind of rush; instead, they move against yours softly, almost feather-like, as if your confession would float away from any suddenness.
and finally, against your lips, he mumbles, “go ahead and come, sweet girl. i’ve got you.”
instantly, your nerves ignite and your breath hitches, your orgasm washing over you at last.
he isn’t far behind, not at all. he had been sensitive ever since he’d started humping the bed with his head stuck between your legs.
he finishes with you, in you, shooting streams of hot white cum inside your clenched walls. the grip he holds on your hand releases as a grunt rumbles in his throat, and you instinctively wrap your arms around him, letting him bury his face into your neck.
when he stills his movements, he lays his weight on top of you, warm, slick skin pressing right up against you, chest to chest.
after a few moments of silence, other than the settling heavy breaths from both of you, you rake your fingers through his hair, muttering timidly by his ear.
“i mean it. i’m yours. i only did all that earlier for—well, for this.”
“all mine?”
you nod, giving him reassurance when he lifts his head to read the expression on your face, “mhm.”
“good. i’m all yours, too.”
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