#like a 5 is almost always gonna fail a 15 is almost always gonna succeed

[dabidagoose]

Finally watching misfits and magic and the kids on brooms stat/dice system tickles my brain it's SO fascinating

#mathematically its more like to roll at least a 6 on a d4 skill than a d6 skill #which is fascinating even tho that distinction isn't really big enough/prevalent enough over all the dice to really matter #i also just REALLY love how the dice distribution sorta more 'realistically' represents skill distributions #like in dnd +/- doesn't matter that often unless its a real big modifier or you're rolling an edge case #like a 5 is almost always gonna fail a 15 is almost always gonna succeed #the modifiers dont actually affect the average/distribution of a character's theoretical rolls in a really significant way which is imo #kinda frustrating cause that feels like it's how it should work #but in this dice system it (theoretically i haven't done the math) actually *does* affect it like that it's so cool

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #82: Frankenstein

You know her, you love her, and today on Fate and Phantasms, we’re building her! Frankenstein’s the last summonable servant in London, but we’re going out on a high note with an electrifying servant.

Check out Fran’s build breakdown below the cut, or her character sheet over here!

Next up: Classic middle child syndrome.

Race and Background

Like Mash, Fran runs into the problem of Homunculus not being a playable race. It would be fitting to make our own with the new Tasha’s stuff, but Fran’s tough, hits hard, and doesn’t talk good, so the closest thing we’ve got is an Orc. This gives her +2 Strength and +1 Constitution. She also gets 60′ of Darkvision, and a Powerful Build, so she counts as Large when figuring out what she can carry. Good thing too- those bolts look heavy. She’s also Aggressive, letting her dash as a bonus action, as long as she ends up closer to an enemy at the end of it. She also gets Insight and Nature proficiencies. She knows flowers are pretty, and that’s good enough for her.

Fran is also a Haunted One, giving her Survival and Investigation proficiencies. Most people would say your dad was the real monster, after all.

Ability Scores

Your endurance is one of your highest parameters, so your Constitution has to be pretty high. Almost as high is your Strength- you’re swinging a big club around for most of your attacks. To make her a real berserker, all her physical stats have to be above her mental ones, so Dexterity comes third. Your Wisdom isn’t too bad, being able to convey meaning with a couple grunts is probably wisdom? Your Charisma is pretty low- you’re loveable, but there’s only so much you can do without spoken language. Finally, we’re dumping Intelligence. You don’t really “do” “talking”, or “strategy”.

Class Levels

1. No points for guessing, but you’re a Barbarian. At first level you can Rage as a bonus action to deal extra damage on each attack, get advantage on strength saves and checks, and resist physical (bludgeoning, slashing, piercing) damage. You also get Unarmored Defense, giving you an AC of 10 plus your dexterity and constitution modifiers while unarmored. Despite what Nero says, a bridal gown is not appropriate fight gear.

2. At second level, you can make Reckless Attacks, gaining advantage on all of a turn’s attacks in exchange for granting advantage to anyone attacking you until your next turn. You also gain a Danger Sense, giving you advantage on Dexterity saves against effects you can see. You already blast yourself with plenty of electricity- you don’t need anyone else’s help with that.

3. Third level barbarians set down a primal path, and the Path of the Storm Herald seems to be pretty popular in London. When you set down your path, you learn a Storm Aura that extends 10′ away from you when raging. Technically you can change the effect whenever you level up, but we’re sticking with Sea to get some electric charge. The sea aura forces a Dexterity save of 8 plus your proficiency and constitution modifiers on a single target, dealing 1d6 Lightning Damage if they fail, or half as much if they succeed. This happens when you begin the rage, as well as on a bonus action each turn while raging.

4. Use your first Ability Score Improvement to become a Crusher, a feat which just become official in Tasha’s! This increases your Constitution by 1. More mechanically, once per turn you can push a creature that is up to one size larger than you by 5′ when you hit it with bludgeoning damage. Also, dealing critical bludgeoning damage imposes advantage on all attacks against that creature until the end of your next turn. You’ve got a big hammer, it’s gonna hurt when it falls.

5. Let’s make the most of that feat with an Extra Attack each attack action, as well as an extra 10′ of movement while unarmored thanks to Fast Movement.

6. Sixth level storm heralds gain a Storm Soul, granting you resistance to lightning damage as well as immunity to drowning thanks to your underwater breathing and swim speed. The real Fran probably can’t swim, so just consider this a bonus. 

7. Your Feral Instinct gives you advantage on initiative rolls, and you can ignore being surprised if you rage at the start of your turn. You’re resistant to being shocked in every sense of the phrase now.

8. Use your next ASI to round out your Constitution and Dexterity for more health, stronger lightning, and less getting hit.

9. Ninth level barbarians can make Brutal Criticals, adding an extra die to critical damage. You hit people so hard a tree pops out. I don’t know exactly how much damage you need to make that happen, but it’s probably a lot.

10. Tenth level storm heralds foretell a Shielding Storm, granting creatures of your choice in your aura lightning resistance. Also, your lightning gets a bit stronger, dealing an extra d6 of damage.

11. At eleventh level, your Relentless Rage lets you drop to 1 hp when you’d normally drop to 0 if you make a DC 10 Constitution save. The next time you use this feature, the DC increases by 5, and it resets at the end of a short rest.

12. Use this ASI to bump up your Strength for more hitting. Not everything has to be complicated, you know.

13. At thirteenth level, you get another die added to your Brutal Criticals.

14. Your final Storm Herald feature turns you into a Raging Storm. While raging, you can use your reaction to force a creature you hit to make a Strength saving throw or get knocked prone. So you can combine this with your Crusher to bat people out of the way and leave them on their ass.

15. Your rages don’t end until you say they do, thanks to your Persistent Rage. Also, your Storm Aura gets even stronger, bumping up to 3d6.

16. If you’re using the standard array, this ASI will be the one that maximizes your Strength for the hardest hits.

17. Just kidding, they can get even harder thanks to a third die from Brutal Critical. That hammer’s bigger than your head- it’s got some serious heft to it.

18. Eighteenth level barbarians have Indomitable Might, meaning your strength checks are always your strength score at minimum. Congratulations on winning every sporting event ever, you’ve earned it.

19. Use your last ASI to maximize your Constitution for the most health, lightning, and AC possible. It doesn’t get better than this.

20. Sorry for lying a second time, it totally does! As a Primal Champion, you have unlimited rages, and your strength and constitution scores increase by 4, with new maximums of 24. Sometimes sticking to one class is worth it. Also, your Storm Aura maxes out at 4d6 lightning, if you’re still interested.

Pros

With almost 300 HP, AC that rivals the best kinds of armor, and rage resistances, it’s pretty safe to say you’re tough to kill. You’re also really strong, with a super maxed out strength score and a Powerful Build, you’re able to carry 720 lbs at once. You’re no Spartacus, but that’s still more than most people will ever need to worry about.

Thanks to Crusher and your Raging Storm, you’re good at breaking enemy formations and really punishing anyone you get your hands on. By using bludgeoning criticals or knocking them prone, you can give your whole group advantage against them.

You’re even faster than a normal barbarian thanks to your Aggressive nature giving you an extra 40′ of movement to work with to make up for using a hammer as your main weapon.

Cons

You use a hammer as your main weapon, and your storm barely extends out of melee range. That means if something’s faster than you or can fly, you’ll have a hard time doing anything to it.

Your only source of magical damage is your storm aura, which is pretty lackluster until it starts getting regular buffs in the latter half of the game. It’s nothing a magical weapon can’t fix, but that’s dependent on your DM, and sometimes they’re not nice people.

You have a very limited array of damage types to choose from. Technically any weapon is available to you, but Crusher does prod you towards using only bludgeoning weapons, which means anything that can resist that and lightning damage will be a pain for you.

#Fate Grand Order #fgo #Fate and Phantasms #D&D 5e #Frankenstein

[uberguber89]

Custom Rule for D&D and Pahtfinder: Morale Points

Using morale points:

    Every character has a maximum morale point pool equal to the sum of their constitution, wisdom, and charisma scores (typically leading to 24-54 points). players cannot gain morale points above this maximum. 

   After rolling any type and any number of dice, but before the result is revealed, you may spend any number of morale points you have to increase the result, up to the maximum achievable on the die type. for example, when rolling a D20 for an attack roll or skill check, with a result of 15 on the die, and a +4 modifier, you may spend 1 point to achieve a final result of 20,  insuring success at that DC, or if you suspect the DC might be higher, you may spend up to 5, for a final result of 24 if you think the task is more difficult, but you may not buy any higher than that since the maximum die result is 20. OR if you use a Cure Wounds spell and roll a 2 and a 5, you may spend up to 9 morale points to ensure the maximum result on those two dice combined (16), before any spell-casting modifiers.

Why morale points?:

 "isn't this stuff already covered in the rules?" short answer; "yes, technically," but let's take a closer look at those rules;

"FOOD: A character needs one pound of food per day. A character can go without food for a number of days equal to 3 + (their) Constitution modifier (minimum 1). At the end of each day beyond that limit, a character automatically suffers one level of exhaustion. A normal day of eating resets the count of days without food to zero. " - pg 185 PHB.

 So, according to rules-as-written a character could have one single meal every 3 days, or up to a week with a high enough Con modifier, and suffer no penalties. Zero. none. Not even a headache. your adventurer is not a python!!! this is not how food and water work in real life! It should NOT be how it works in-game. while, yes, you can argue that this is the biological response, anyone who's gone a day (or more) without food knows that this doesn't represent the mental toll these obstacles can take.

    Even if we ignore the incongruities already mentioned, it has always stuck out to me while reading novels like Game of Thrones or Lord of the Rings or just about every fantasy novel involving travel, that they tend to spend a lot of time describing the mental and emotional fatigue of living away from the creature-comforts of home and/or on the road. Sure! Frodo and Sam can eat Lembas bread all day, every day, until the elf finishes reciting his poetry, but it's not gonna raise anyone's spirits. sure, you've got piles and piles of fresh bear-meat to keep you fed, but it doesn't go down easy if you can't afford the time to start a campfire to cook it. there's a reason they only give bread & water when you're in medieval prison, and it's because it sucks. even if you have all your biological needs met, your brain needs flavor as much as your stomach needs calories. We've all experience that feeling of doing something you're not necessarily "bad" at, but optimal performance requires more mental resources than something you have a higher skill bonus in you are more familiar with, and while you are perfectly capable of the task in ideal conditions, (i.e. well-rested, hydrated, nourished, etc,), it becomes disproportionately difficult in non-ideal conditions (think about "hangry" or all those posts about existential dread turning out to be dehydration). It should be noted, you can experience all this without the "exhaustion" described by the core handbook, and that needs to be represented somehow.  It also stuck out to me that these challenges are almost never included in rpg's in a way that is both meaningful AND fun. In every case I've ever experienced, it is either hand-waved and ignored, or examined in excruciating detail, halting every other aspect of play. With this in mind, I set out to design a set of rules that are substantial enough to affect the story and be worth tracking, while staying abstract enough to maintain a game's pacing. I want these rules to elicit the same “gods! I need a beer” or “I’d kill for a home-cooked meal right now,” sentiment you see from characters in most traditional media, with the same desperation the players think, “I’m out of hit points/spell slots, I need a long rest”. Thus, morale points. It should be said, that all of these rules are in addition to the rules-as-written, not a replacement.

     regaining and losing morale points:

  sleep: A minimum of 4 hours sleep in a relatively safe location (i.e. camping with an ally keeping watch, or in a barn or secluded alleyway) is required to avoid losing morale points. getting 8 hours of solid rest in a safe location will restore 1 morale point, and doing so on a bed will restore 2. for every night without sleep, or sleep in an unsafe or uncomfortable area, your character will lose one morale point.

  food: while 1 pound of food will keep 1 character fed for the day, such as trail rations or a simple tavern meal, each GP spent on food will restore 1 morale point. your character will lose 1 morale point for every 24 (twenty-four) hours without sitting down for a meal. (Even a meal at half-rations can serve this purpose if it’s treated as a relaxing sit-down)

   drink: every GP spent on wine, ale, or other good drink of your character's choice will restore 1 morale point. This can include smoking herbs, or other recreational substances like coffee or other drugs (fantasy or real), however, the 1gp per morale point exchange rate remains the same. a character will lose 1 morale point for every 6 hours without water.

random happenstance: rolling a natural 20 will restore 1 point, and a natural 1 will lose you a point. No “critical hits” or “critical failures” on skills or saving throws, only the auto succeed/fail and the morale point change.

good company: during a rest, 1 character may make a performance check. with a 10 or higher, each other member of the group may regain 1 morale point. on a result of 20 or higher, the group gets 2 each. 30 or higher gets 3, and so on. the performer can only regain 1 point on a 20 or higher (performing can be fun, but hard work) A result of 9 or less causes everyone involved to lose 1 morale point.

Going hunting: jerky, nuts, and dried berries in your rations may meet your daily protein requirements, but nothing beats fresh. During a rest, a character may make a survival check. With a 10 or higher, you may gain 1 morale point to allocate to any character, including yourself. on a result of 20 or higher, you may allocate 2 as you choose. 30 or higher gets 3, and so on. A result of 9 or less causes everyone involved to lose 1 morale point.

Going foraging: Spice is the variety of life - as a wise man once said, "a man can live on nutrient blocks from here to Judgement Day, if he's got enough rosemary". Any number of wild herbs and natural substances can be used to flavor your food or for recreational purposes. During a rest, a character may make a nature check. with a 10 or higher, you may gain 1 morale point to give to any one character, including yourself. on a result of 20 or higher, you may allocate 2 as you choose. 30 or higher gets 3, and so on. A result of 9 or less causes everyone involved to lose 1 morale point.

Emotional labor: during a rest, a character may make an insight check. with a 10 or higher, you can aid another character’s check to restore morale, giving them advantage on their roll.  A result of 9 or less causes you to misread the situation. You grant disadvantage, and lose 1 morale point.

Pep talk: flattery and pretty words may not win battles, but they sure can brighten someone’s day, and isn’t that an encouraging thought? It isn’t? Ok, well, in any case, during a rest, a character may make a persuasion or deception check. with a 10 or higher, one other member of the group may regain 1 morale point. on a result of 20 or higher, the character gets 2. 30 or higher gets 3, and so on. The speaker can only regain 1 point on a 20 or higher. A result of 9 or less causes everyone involved to lose 1 morale point.

Minor treatments: Not every injury or ailment causes hit point damage or noticeable stat changes. It may be a minor allergy that makes you cranky, or a joint that gets just stiff enough to be annoying “but it’s fine i’m totally fine guys”, or that ringing in your ears that won’t go away unless someone rubs your jaw the right way. You’re not performing medical miracles, just the observations that can come with medical training. during a rest, a character may make a medicine check. With a 10 or higher, one member of the group may regain 1 morale point. on a result of 20 or higher, the group gets 2 each. 30 or higher gets 3, and so on. the care provider can only regain 1 point on a 20 or higher. A result of 9 or less causes everyone involved to lose 1 morale point.

Situational: 

   Ideals: seeing, experiencing, or doing somethingthat reinforces your ideals can gain you one morale point. Conversely, an extreme event, as determined by the GM, that causes you to question your ideals causes 1 morale point loss

   bonds: you can regain 1 morale point by spending an hour or more with one of your bonds. If one of your bonds are injured or damaged, you must make a wisdom saving throw equal to 15+ the damage they suffered, or lose morale points equal to the damage they suffered. If one of your bonds is killed or destroyed, you lose all of your morale points when you learn about the loss.

   Flaws: you can gain morale opints by acting on one of your flaws, at the risk of another character losing morale points. During a rest, you may choose another player character, describe how your flaw manifests, and choose a DC. then, the GM will assign a skill or saving throw for each of you (these may be the same roll or different) based on the situation. If you both succeed, you gain 1 morale point and the other character gains 0. If you succeed and the other character fails, you gain 2 points, and they lose 1. If you both fail the roll, you both lose 1 morale point.

hobbies: during a rest, a character may make a roll with a gaming set they are proficient in. with a 10 or higher, each other member of the group may regain 1 morale point. on a result of 20 or higher, the group gets 2 each. 30 or higher gets 3, and so on. If two or more characters are proficient in the same game, each participant can make this roll with advantage. A result of 9 or less causes everyone involved to lose 1 morale point.

Travel pace: traveling at Fast pace causes you to lose 1 morale point for each hour at this pace (think about running a marathon). Traveling at Normal pace causes no morale point loss, but no actions can be taken to restore points. Traveling at slow pace, stops for food, rest, and hobbies can be assumed as part of the travel time, but you cannot make stealth checks at the same time as checks to improve morale. You move at half speed in difficult terrain, and you lose an additional morale point per hour.

  How many morale points should the players start with?:

 if they're professionals hired for a daring assignment, they may understandably have full points. However, if they're independent agents, with no employment to speak of other than turning to adventuring, or starting out escaping from captivity, it would be understandable (though perhaps less fun) to start at 0. In most other, less-extreme circumstances, you may want to consult with your players, and choose a middle-ground such as half-maximum, or a percentage based on a wis or con saving throw (player’s choice).

#D&D #pathfinder #tabletop rpgs #custom rule #morale points #personal #edited and reblogged

[letteredlettered]

i know the show shows us david's thoughts on patrick doing cabaret but can you talk about it anyway lol? "it" can be from when he first hears that patrick is thinking about auditioning to when the whole run of performances is over.... i love hearing your thoughts on stuff like this!

I was gonna say I didn’t have many thoughts on this, but then I wrote you a twenty-five point summation, so here is a cut.

1) I loved the difference between David being really mortified about Patrick wanting to do an open mic night, vs David kind of sniping at Moira for not being supportive of Patrick’s audition.

2) I feel like David’s reaction to the fact that Schitt’s Creek theater was even doing Cabaret was abject horror and they’ll ruin it

3) And then he hears Jocelyn Schitt is directing and thinks, they’ll ruin it ten times worse

4) And then he registers that he has this news because Patrick is talking about auditioning. David registers he’ll have to go to this fucking play and that Patrick is going to dance his horrible dancing and sing like a motherfucking rockstar but the production will be so bad that it’s all going to be miserable. Like even if the Jazzagals can sing, who will play Sally? Patrick is an obvious shoe-in for Cliff but ughhhhhhhhhh

5) And then David remembers that he is a supportive boyfriend who does supportive boyfriend things and a supportive boyfriend would be like, You nail that audition, honey!

6) So David says, “You nail that audition, honey!” but it accidentally sounds sarcastic and Patrick makes fun of him and then David accidentally says something about what an awful dancer Patrick is and Patrick is like, “Are we really going to compare dancing? Really?” Because David has danced for him before and David makes a snide comment about the thickness of Patrick’s thighs and Patrick makes a lustful comment about the length of David’s legs. And then they have sex.

7) There’s something really sweet and endearing about Patrick trying out for a play. Patrick is such a go-getter. He wants to be involved in the community and talk to people and try things. Like. It sounds like torture. But David wants Patrick to do all the things and succeed at all of them and sound content and happy and engaged with life here, even if it means David gets less of Patrick’s time. It means that Patrick is happy with life and happy with him and David really, really wants Patrick to be happy. Patrick is perfect when he’s happy and everything is awful when he’s upset.

8) Then Moira takes over the production and David feels a lot better about the whole thing.

9) Then David realizes Moira is in charge of the production and David feels a lot worse about the whole thing.

10) Then Patrick gets cast as the Emcee which David thinks is serious miscasting, but then he realizes his mother is a genius because Patrick is obviously the sexiest man in the entire village (he sometimes thinks of Schitt’s Creek as a medieval village; it’s a whole thing) and the Emcee should be the sexiest one.

11) David immediately starts planning Patrick’s makeup and costume.

12) Moira shows him thoughts/designs for costumes and invites David to help. David immediately starts scaling back all thoughts of Patrick’s costume to something Patrick would feel comfortable wearing, because none of David’s fantasies were appropriate and now that it’s a real thing all he wants is for Patrick to look cute and feel comfy. And also fit perfectly within the entire aesthetic of the show which he has designed from top to bottom in his mind and matches his mother’s almost perfectly.

13) David’s glad about Patrick getting to spend all this time with Mom because sometimes David gets the feeling Patrick doesn’t like his parents. Like Patrick thinks David’s parents mistreated him or something? Which is cute that his boyfriend is all defensive but Patrick just doesn’t really understand them. Like he understands them but doesn’t understand them.

14) David’s terrified about Patrick getting to spend all that time with Mom because Patrick doesn’t understand them.

15) Like what if Patrick gets annoyed and realizes David’s going to turn into Moira (David’s kind of afraid of turning into Moira) and then doesn’t want him any more? Because there is no man on earth who is as patient and faithful as Johnny Rose.

16) David makes a rule about how Patrick can’t talk about the play with him.

17) David immediately breaks this rule and continues to break it over and over.

18) Like the play isn’t his business. He isn’t even really interested. Just because he used to want to do costume and set design professionally, whatever, he doesn’t c--she cast Stevie as Sally, what the fuck was she thinking, can Stevie even sing?

19) Okay Stevie can sing. But Jewel doesn’t count. Get over your 90s singer songwriters, Stevie, he says, as he pops in more Mariah Carey. Mariah is different because she LASTED, Stevie. Unlike some Jewels we know.

20) Stevie contends the Jewel became a country artist, and she and Patrick bond over it, and David hates it when they do that.

21) David also loves it when they do that. He never consciously thinks about being glad that Patrick and Stevie are friends with each other, but nights getting drunk with the two of them are some of the best nights of his life, and he doesn’t realize it but it works because all three of them really, really like each other.

22) Sometimes Patrick gets chatty about how things are going with the play and at first David was super interested for drama and lulz and worry about Patrick Vs His Mother the 2019 showdown, but it is actually all sounding kind of normal so David is less interested. He loves to hear Patrick talk about it though, like how happy Patrick is and how interested he is in things and how there are characters David knows in his stories and sometimes David does in fact stop listening and curls up against him while Patrick is going on about something--frustrated about a dance move or excited about a line reading or what the fuck ever else Patrick gets excited about and it’s so, so nice, listening to Patrick talk and be excited and think David is listening.

23) We saw all the SECRET DANCE CHOREOGRAPHER stuff on the show but I will say that David’s worry about Patrick’s dancing ability has worn down into an amused resignation. Like Patrick is terrible and we all know that but he’ll try his little heart out and it will be fine; it will all be fine; even Alexis’s singing. Whatever happens David’s already decided he’ll pretend to enjoy it and probably will ACTUALLY enjoy it because it’s Patrick and it’s Stevie and it’s Mom and it’s Alexis and he’ll probably sit next to Dad and Dad will be proud, like Dad is always proud of Mom, no matter what she is doing, despite how far they have fallen. Dad never acts ashamed of Mom ever, and David is going to be a boyfriend like Dad.

24) The production is amazing and Patrick is hot and David doesn’t have to pretend. He does kinda wish he’d gotten Patrick to wear the sexy version of the costume, but fucking him in that makeup after the failed engagement announcement will have to do.

25) Much later David says something about Patrick’s dancing and Patrick teases him about it. So you liked it, Patrick goads, and David is annoyed and like, if you dance like you’re fucking me surrounded by gorgeous women of course I’m going to like it, and Patrick thinks this is so so so fucking funny. Like for days, he finds this funny, and David is very disgruntled.

#schitt's creek #david/patrick #Anonymous

[theassassinscape]

*Insert good title* We're Home

Hi all!! So, um, first thing I've written, had an idea for this for a while. Hope y'all enjoy and feedback is appreciated!!

Language, angst and fluff if you look hard enough. 2,153 words, I went all out.

Bucky Barnes X mutant!reader

(I don't know man ❤️ italics are flashbacks)

"I think I'll do it." Bucky said, his hand holding his glass of whiskey so hard his knuckles turned white.

"Go on, she looks like she's about to leave," Steve encouraged, looking over to you, "I think it's worth a shot." He said, while taking an actual shot. Bucky never understood why they'd go out drinking. It's not like they could get drunk from everyday alcohol; the only time they'd succeed in doing so was when Thor had the Asgardian Liquor on him, and after Thanos was gone and Loki was back, he had recovered and barely touched alcohol. So the duo weren't too familiar with the feeling.

"I can't. Look at her. She could break my arm in 12 different places while still looking angelic," Bucky groaned, turning back around to face the bar, downing the rest of the whiskey. "I can't."

"Maybe if you say that to her she'll give you a chance? C'mon Buck, you barely go out, you need to give it a try!" Steve exclaimed, patting Bucky's shoulder. It made him sad; even though most of Bucky had returned, he wasn't fully here yet. It looks like he forgot how to have fun like he had in the 40's.

After ordering two more whiskey's Bucky finally plucked the courage to stand up and walk over to you. He locked eyes on you like you were a target, and squeezed between sweaty, dancing bodies, heart hammering in his chest as he got closer. What if you thought he was a creep? Just another guy trying to approach you? He was certain others had their eyes on you the entire night. But one thing he had noticed, is that your booth was entirely empty, and no one dared come close to it, except the barman bringing you your drinks. His train of thought had brought him right to your table without him noticing.

"Can I help you?" God, your voice was melodic. Charming and a little bit hoarse, like you've been speaking all night, yet soft. Bucky couldn't describe it. He could listen to it all night.

"Umm... I, uh, jus-"

"Not today, Barnes."

Bucky's eyes widened. You knew him? Oh God, what if you knew him as the Winter Soldier? As the monster he was? What if he had gotten into trouble somewhere that he doesn't know about?

"I-I'm sorry?" Bucky stammered,

"You should be." You said, crossing your arms and leaning back into the cushioning of the booth. Bucky couldn't help staring. "You left me at the funfair, you bastard."

The amount of confusion that had clouded Bucky's mind was overwhelming. He did not remember a single mission where his target was at a fair, nor does he remember a girl as beautiful as the one before him. Maybe one, but the image was blurry.

"Sit." You ordered. You could see him searching, eyes wide and panicking. You wanted to investigate if he remembers you or not before you revealed yourself. You wanted to make him wait, like he made you at the fair.

He sat down immediately, stiffly and clearly uncomfortably, but his eyes never changed the panic they showed.

"How's Stevie?" You asked without looking at him, your golden dress hiking up as you stood up to pick up the drink the barman brought over. Bucky gulped louder than he had thought.

"Is he here?" You mumbled into your drink as it neared your lips, eyes still not meeting his, even though you could feel his burning stare on your face, trying to figure you out. The noise seemed to die out; it was deafening to Bucky while he was at the bar with Steve, thanks to his enhanced hearing, but with her it all seemed to fade away. His focus was only on her.

He gulped again, "Yeah, he's at the bar."

"Why didn't you bring him over? I bet he would've recognised an old friend straight away," you said, gently placing your glass on the mahogany table. Your fingers began tracing the edge, eyes still not meeting Bucky's. It drove him crazy.

"Old friend?" He dared to scoot closer to you, leaning his flesh arm on the table and covering his metal hand. "What's your name?"

And then you looked at him, and you both said the same thing, "Y/N."

His breath had stopped in his throat. His jaw clenched, and eyes widened. It couldn't be true. Someone was messing with his head again. You're not here. The love of his life is not here.

"C'mon Buck! I wanna go on that one!" You had pointed to the tallest Ferris wheel Bucky had ever seen. Even the brave Steve Rogers would shake in his boots at the sight of it.

"Ooor we could just stay here, doll," Bucky pulled you back into his chest, ocean eyes adoring your enchanting y/e/c ones. "I could stare at you all night. I could spend the whole night with you here, sugar." Bucky said, grabbing your jaw gently, lips getting dangerously close to yours. Your hands had travelled to his chest, to his neck, through his soft, chestnut hair, until you had knocked his cap down to cover his eyes.

"You can stare at me all you want when we're on the wheel, Sarge," you giggled, fixing the collar of his uniform, "and if you're lucky, you'll spend the entire night with me too," you had poked his nose playfully, bouncing away like a child towards the ride.

He couldn't believe he was lucky enough to have you. All his. The woman he was gonna marry, the one he was gonna show off to his ma, to Steve, to the whole world. You had such a presence; no-one dared mess with you, you stood your ground and was always so painfully honest, but you were caring, loving and sweet, and so, so beautiful. Bucky would never believe he deserved you, no matter how many times you'd tell him he deserves even more.

That's when he saw Steve wonder into another army enlistment tent. He looked at you once more, to know where to find you, and walked over to Steve. He was measuring himself again, and finding he was a whole foot and a half too short. It almost made Bucky angry. Bucky would much rather be able to stay here, with you, and not fight in this damned war, like Steve could stay. But he couldn't be mad. Never.

"No."

"Yes."

He let out a breath, "no."

"What is it, Barnes?" Your question almost sounded like a growl, your stance immediately changing, like you were about to fight him.

"You can't be here. You can't, you're messing with me..." Bucky had covered his face with his hands. Had he drunk too much? No, that wasn't it. Someone was playing a cruel joke on him.

"I'm here Barnes, we've got some explaining to do."

"Stop that."

"Stop what?"

"This! You're messing with my head! Get out!" He had looked up, hands shaking, eyes glossy.

"I ain't going nowhere. This is my bar."

You had patiently waited. 5 minutes. 10 minutes. 15. Bucky still hasn't gotten back. You saw him follow Steve into another army enlistment unit. You were happy he was helping out his friend, but a little upset that he abandoned you on what could be your last date. At least before he came back.

"Y/N Y/L/N, correct?" A man in a dark, green suit had approached you. He was quite handsome, a dark stubble decorated his face, brown eyes darker than the night. He was nowhere near as handsome as Bucky though. Your Bucky.

"Yes, who's askin'?" You turned to him fully, crossing your arms before you.

"Hm, sassy for a mutant. You'll be useful."

You felt your heart in your throat. How did he know? You morphed your fingers into knives and held them to his throat discretely, fully aware that you were in a queue where you could get in plenty of trouble.

"I don't know who you are or how you know, but if you speak a word of this to anyone and you'll be my next fucking meal, you understand?" You whispered, eyes searching his.

"Or you'll be mine." He smirked at the needle in your arm, injecting a substance that looked like liquid metal. Your last thought before you fell into the man's arms was Where's Bucky?

You had destroyed half the Hydra facility within the first couple of hours being there. Turned into a mammoth and wrecked a lab, or a swarm of hornets and stung the lab workers until they were a pile of blisters. You had turned your fist into vibranium in order to break the glass that they had surrounded you with. All to no use. They always found a way of injecting you with that shit, and you’d always find yourself either on a bed or with a chair, strange machinery attached to your face. Within the thousands of years that you’ve been alive you’ve never felt so useless, so helpless. You only hoped you got to see Bucky again soon.

And you had. 1962. He looked horrible. He was covered head to toe in weaponry. And he didn’t recognise you. He wasn’t Bucky. He was the Winter Soldier. The thing that Hydra wanted to make you into but failed miserably. So they got the thing closest to you. They dehumanised the thing that made you feel most human. Was it to get back at you? You’d never know. But what you did know now was why you couldn’t find Bucky or his corpse after his 'death'. To say it had broke you was nothing. It destroyed you. Dr Zola was lucky he had put himself into those fucking computers because you couldn’t have ripped him apart any more for it. But that didn’t make any difference. Bucky wasn’t there anymore.

If only you two hadn’t wondered off at that funfair.

You had told each other everything in the backroom behind the bar. His eyes were filled with tears, and yours were no different. You had sat in your chair, while he on the sofa. This was the first time you’ve been this close in over 70 years. The first time you saw Bucky as Bucky, not as the Winter Soldier.

“So now you own bars across the world and work with drugs, guns, money and intergalactic businesses? Stop shitting me.”

“And you feed goats in a 'Third-world' country after making yourself into a ghost story?” you had mocked by making speech marks in the air.

“Sounds better.”

“You just fought a massive space grape, you think I’m shitting you?” you had asked, tears disappearing and eyes filled with anger instead.

“Why didn’t you help? If you have so much power, why didn’t you help? When we got dusted? When we were fighting?”

“I got dusted too, Barnes! And it wasn’t as quick! I didn’t get dusted fully until three years after it! Three. Fucking. Years, Barnes! And you think that army was all that Thanos had? I lost hundreds of soldiers trying to stop those ships! I lost friends Barnes!” the tears we’re back in your eyes

“I lost friends too!” Bucky cried, pointing at you

“Oh, as if you had any friends apart from Steve!” you had slumped back into your chair, glaring at him.

Bucky's head dropped. He blamed you. He blamed himself. Himself more. He didn’t look for you hard enough. Not during the war. Not after he got out of cryo. He was afraid, and still so in love with you. He had prayed every time when the brainwashed him that he’d remember you. Your smile. Your eyes, your hair, your laugh. But you weren’t there.

“I had Sam.” He whimpered.

“Wilson?” you asked. He came here sometimes. Always left with a girl. He seemed lonely.

“Yeah. And Nat.”

“Oh.” You knew who she was. Not only did you try bribing the Red Room into handing over a couple of the best girls they had to you, but you also trained some. One of them was Romanoff. Plus, she had a past with The Winter Soldier. And you made sure you knew everything you could. That shut you up a bit.

“I missed you,” Bucky looked up at you, eyes puffy, red and swollen, cheeks wet with tears. Your heart broke.

“I missed you too.” You had walked over to him and knelt before him, grabbing his hands with your left one and wiping tears from his face with your right. You felt so bad at that moment. Memories and feelings you’ve pressed down for so long resurfacing. You felt horrible.

“I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry.” You whispered, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear. “Forgive me.”

“There’s nothing to forgive, doll,” he smiled, more tears spilling down his cheeks. Oh, how you missed that smile. “We’re home.”

Let me know if you enjoyed it and what I can improve!!

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader fluff #bucky imagine #bucky barnes angst #angst #fluff #marvel #steve rogers #captain america #bucky barnes x reader #fanfic #mutant!reader

[rivkahstudies]

requested by @niviasthoughts - thank you for approaching me!! I hope this post can help!

The IB Program is hectic enough without having to worry about where your stuff is, when you need it, and how you’re doing. Keeping track of things is pretty much essential for success, because once you get behind it’s difficult to catch up.

I graduated in 2018 with an IB score of 37 out of 45. I started the two years organized and ended even more organized than I thought possible. It’s definitely a program that tests your limits and forces you to surpass or reinvent them.

This is gonna be a pretty long post, so I'm going to put it under the cut.

part one: starting out

It's important that, before you follow through with any of the systems I suggest/inventing your own, you check that your teacher doesn't already have a system set up. In my experience, my teachers' systems have never worked as well as ones that I have determined for myself, because they haven't spent ages and ages developing it just for MY benefit like I have. However, just as life often does to us, you may not have a choice.

Some teachers (and in my experience, the ones I like the least) have a system that they don't just suggest but enforce, and will often take off points in grades such as notebook checks if you don't use their suggested materials/system. There's no way around this, so make absolutely sure you can use your own system on a class-by-class basis to ensure you're getting the best grade you can. Those points add up.

part two: materials

You do not need anything fancy or expensive. All of my stationery is pretty affordable and there are only a couple products I use that I saved for/splurged on. You. do. not. need. fancy. stationery. to. succeed. or! be! a! real! studyblr! say it with me y'all.

I'm not even going to bother to list specific brands because it'll just discourage you from others. I'm going to be as vague as possible. For a reason. Decide for yourself what you like best.

rivkah's very basic IB shopping list

black/blue pens

(trust me, you'll need multiple. I went through a whole pack of 12 THE FIRST SEMESTER of my senior year because I was writing so much.)

a binder and loose leaf paper OR notebook, one for each class

this is entirely up to your personal preference. I prefer to have loose leaf paper because I can rearrange things as I wish (I'm so indecisive and often reorganize). I typically choose 1 inch binders and 4-8 tab dividers. It really depends on the class how I organize these dividers, but they're usually something like classwork/homework/projects/tests/etc.

a colored set of some kind of writing implement

markers, pens, highlighters, it REALLY DOESN'T MATTER as long as you have AT LEAST five colors. I prefer 7-10, because annotating history/english documents requires that you look for a lot of different things. pick whatever works best for you and figure out what your color systems are. it's best to have multiple, especially cross-subject, because your needs may differ depending on the document.

a pencil pouch/supplies organizer

again, whatever fits your preference. I like backpacks with pockets that have little built-in organizers or a pencil pouch that, likewise, has different compartments. I'm one of those people where I like to know EXACTLY where my materials are. I don't like wasting time rifling through a general pouch. if that doesn't bother you, go ahead and get one!

post-it notes

these are so versatile. annotations, reminders, misc notes, anything. I always have multiple colors and sizes on me because I use post-it notes for almost everything, including writing down ideas and reminding myself of deadlines.

planner/bullet journal

digital or paper, doesn't matter. but YOU NEED TO WRITE THINGS DOWN IN IB. don't rely on your memory, because it'll start failing you as soon as you get stressed and busy. also don't worry about spending too much money. I like my bullet journal because if I feel artsy, I can be. If I'm in a hurry, I can keep it minimal. plus I never need to worry about not having enough space to plan. whatever you pick, if it works, stick to it. don't try to have 5 planners because I guarantee you'll just confuse yourself.

misc materials like scissors, glue, white-out, tape, etc

I like to have these on hand just because you never know when you or someone else might need them.

part three: how to integrate these materials/systems

general tips

if something can be done in less than 15 minutes, do it as soon as you can--whether it's at lunch, in extra time at the end of class, or when you first get home.

if it's a large project/assignment, get something down the first day it's assigned. write up a schedule to work on it, or an outline/draft skeleton, or do a little research into what you'd be interested in covering if it's open-ended. something, anything. at the very least, if you don't make progress, it'll cement the assignment in your mind and you won't forget at easily.

do not leave readings to the last minute. they often seem small in comparison to presentations or essays, but they're important.

whenever possible, try to link projects or topics back to your interests. it makes things like the IAs or EE so much easier to write... because the only thing worse than having to write 2000 or 4000 words is having to write 2000 or 4000 words on a topic that puts you to sleep.

utilize your connections with your teachers. in most cases, they want to help and see you succeed. if you have any teachers you're close with, confide in them.

at the very least, if you can't be friendly with them, communicate with them. and suck up a little. because if you're in their good graces, they'll be more understanding when you have your 9th consecutive breakdown or run out of time and can't hand something in. And if they know you're having problems (mentally, socially, in your family, whatever) they can extend their hand to help more. even if it's just one or two teachers, it makes a difference.

set reminders in your phone/calendar for the end of the school day if you have to take a textbook home and you keep it in a locker (hopefully you do, it's bad for your back. IB is bad for your back lmao.) it'll save your life when you start on your way home, exhausted, not remembering. funny how stress makes you totally memory-less.

is a desktop and phone app that has saved my life on numerous occasions. it's more suited for college, but it's really nice because you can track your PROGRESS on assignments, not just on whether you've completed them or not.

obvious, but get sleep and eat good foods. it'll improve your concentration and memory.

it's really tempting when you walk into your room to just dump your stuff somewhere, maybe in a pile. try to make a bin/tray/spot that is specifically for "stuff to be done/sorted/taken care of" and then take care of it nightly.

I know it's often tempting to relax until dinner (at least, if you're like me) and then do your homework after dinner, but please. start your homework as soon as possible once you're home, or before then if you can. you don't have to study every second, but I know I got really tired of seeing 2:30 AM blinking back at me every night.

set your own deadlines and, for the love of all, hold yourself accountable for them.

schedule in at least a half-hour of you time, hopefully in the middle of your homework. you'll forget to have it otherwise and you'll be a zombie. I've been there.

English

stay ahead on readings. see above. if possible/time allowing, read/skim the first time and THEN go back to annotate once you understand what you're looking at. when you notice things the first time, you can start connecting the dots the second.

always know where your books are. have a specific place in your backpack/locker/desk/room. nothing's worse than losing a book you're halfway through and have a paper due.

keep detailed notes for your EA/IOP/IOC. my teacher made us do this thing called "grids" which dissected key symbols/motifs/themes to DEATH, and it was hell, but it helped a lot.

History

again, detailed notes. include not just what happened but why? what were the causes, the events, the effects, and the historical interpretations? this is a fancy little buzz word for "quotes others have on the subject." if you throw even one of these into each of your final papers during senior exams, it boosts your score. my history of the americas teacher never let us forget it. and boy, did I have it in my head by May 2018.

you don't *need* a book for your IA or History EE, but let me tell you, it's hard as hell to get a good score without one. get that deep, deep knowledge bb.

keep things in whatever order works best for you. for my purposes, I always did it chronologically, because I didn't want to jump around too much in an essay. but there's other ways to structure an essay and you need to find what your strong points are.

Spanish/French/etc language

I personally took Spanish. Got a 7 in it, too, so I know how to organize best for this class.

It's INCREDIBLY important that you stay organized in this class, particularly with vocabulary. It's up to you how you want to study and structure your notebook, but leave ample room to write words over and over and over.

You will most likely (assuming your teacher is doing their job) have readings. Devise your own color system, but I typically had three colors for Spanish readings: 1) words I don't know (and later define), 2) vocabulary we learned in class/need to memorize, if applicable, and 3) words I know/need more practice with. You can add/subtract depending on your strength and weakness in the language.

Math

The only class I kept a notebook for, not a binder.

You won't pass just by studying rules. You need to be able to apply them, too, so please keep a section of your notebook/binder for practicing problems. As many as it takes/you have time for.

Keep. All. Your. Tests. I do this for all my classes, but it is VITAL for Math that you're aware of your weaknesses. When it comes down to it, you need to study what you DON'T know, not what you know.

Science

I took Biology. My brother is currently taking Physics.

There will be math in both, just much more in Physics. Follow the rules above for Math when applicable.

Biology was so difficult for me that I rewrote my notes three times. First for studying for the upcoming test, then for the Year 1 "final" my teacher gave, then again for the IB Exams. It's incredibly time-consuming, and might not work for you like it did me. Whatever you do, organize your notes in a way that let you understand difficult concepts in a step-by-step order. IB Bio and Physics are super step-by-step and if you go out of order, you lose points.

Art

I took art, not psychology, so I'm sorry I can't help for psych. But I was basically on my own for art because my teacher was not up-to-date NOR ORGANIZED AT ALL. I had to do all the research myself for the rules before I could even start my work. And I had to do it all senior year, because she wouldn't let me start as a junior.

honestly, I could write a whole separate post just on this subject.

make sure your stuff is neat and in black pen. especially for your process portfolio, that's the only way they'll grade it. I did my Comparative Study on the computer.

TOK Presentation/TOK Essay/IAs/EE

I didn't mention this in the material list, but I was so paranoid about losing materials necessary for my History IA and EE that I literally had 2 folders, one for each of them, JUST devoted to all of the papers that were thrown at me for them.

I was instructed to keep one for my EA by my English teacher, AND I had another kept my grids (used to study for the EA) in a separate folder too.

This is completely optional, but I found it really helpful in making sure I knew where I was with all of my assignments. You could easily substitute all these folders for an accordian binder, it whatever works best for you.

Okay, I've covered all of the subjects I took and major assignments, as well as the general organizational tips. There's still so much more, but this is the bulk of what I did and what I remember. If any of you want to see anything on one of these subjects specifically, please reach out to me! And as always: IB is scary and confusing, as well as incredibly fast-paced, but it isn't impossible and you're not alone. My messages and inbox are always open if you need anything.

#international baccalaureate #ib #ibdp #ib program #my posts #rivkahstudies #my advice #my ib life #niviasthoughts #studyblr #ib studyblr #ib graduate #saylorlook #pinetreelookie #student-succulent #gloomstudy #jennystudy #ibthereforeicry #heypat #thekingsstudy

[curatedjournal-blog]

World Mental Health Day - Some thoughts for students

So, likelihood is you’ve seen these before or they don’t matter/apply to you BUT in the off chance that you may need to hear it today, tomorrow, yesterday or 5 years from now let me tell you a few things about self-care and dealing with ill mental health not just as a student but as a human being.

DISCLAIMER/WARNING: I have been on and off depression and anxiety meds for the past 5+ years, have been through counselling, CBT, you name it. Also, some of this may be TRIGGERING so please be kind to yourself and stop/don’t start reading it if it feels wrong or painful. Also, these are as much for me as they are for others so there’s that...

1. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Sadly, all around the world, ill mental health is misunderstood, mocked and disregarded by many. Sometimes you may not be able to find support in your family or friends. Often not because they don’t want to support you but because they don’t understand what you are going through. However, there are multitudes of online and offline communities that can help for free and with no strings attached (I don’t want to recommend any service in particular for personal reasons but Google

can be a great friend in these cases. Also, your school/uni often has free psychological support for students).

2. Stress and anxiety are more common among students than you think. The pressure can be awful and it comes from all sides - family, money, professors, yourself. It sucks. Which is why you NEED to...

3. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. Dude, self-care is everywhere these days. In a way, it almost lost it’s meaning! What is it really? Going on a shopping spree? Having a spa day? Exercising? Eating your favourite snack? Watching an episode of your fave show? All of the above? Well...

4. ONE SIZE DOESN’T FIT ALL. For me self-care is not binge watching Netflix as a way to avoid my to-dos, not letting shit accumulate, staying moderately on top of things and not kicking myself in the ass if I don’t. It’s also practicing kundalini yoga as OFTEN as I REMEMBER, journalling WHEN I feel like it, engaging in a hobby for 5 MINS to take my head of things, cooking a healthy meal IF I have time, etc.

5. SELF-CARE DOESN’T HAVE TO COST MONEY. Students are broke, we ain’t got no money (or time) for expensive massages and weekend yoga retreats. There’s so many free stuff that DOES NOT REQUIRE A SUBSCRIPTION which you can engage in to help you relax. Find a free exhibition to visit on a weekend, go to the local library and read a couple of soothing poems, go for a walk in the park (I’m a big believer in FOREST THERAPY). Also, if that’s your thing, youtube has LOTS of free self-care content: yoga classes, guided meditations, tips, soothing music...

6. If you’re STUCK IN A RUT, motivation doesn’t come, you can’t face leaving your bed because you fear something awful will happen well, I’m sorry but I’ll give you some tough love... Motivation won’t come. You have to do the thing even if you don’t feel

like it or are scared to do it. Likelihood is it’s not that big of a deal once you get started so... Take the first step (also, look into BEHAVIOURAL ACTIVATION a tried and true CBT technique).

7. EAT ONE FROG A DAY. You know that awful, anxiety inducing shit task you’ve been post-poning for ages that lingers in the back of your mind, eating at you and your sanity, neuron by neuron? Just get it over with. It won’t get any easier to do so may as well do it now and at least you can tick one off.

8. Frogs come in every size and SMALL WINS ARE IMPORTANT. Maybe your frog is making your bed in the morning or getting up before 7am or doing the dishes. Small victories accumulate and will make you feel accomplished step by step, no matter how small that step is. This can REALLY IMPROVE YOUR MOOD. Also, small frogs can easily become major frogs the more you put them off.

9. If it applies to you, TAKE YOUR MEDS and REMEMBER YOUR REPEAT PRESCRIPTIONS. Many times have I forgotten to take mine or reorder them to then feel like shit and completely useless for a week. What works for me may not work for you but here are my tips anyway - keep a water bottle and your meds by your bed next to your alarm clock/phone so you take them first thing when you wake up. Keep some extra meds in your bag so that IF you forget to take them then you have them with you and can easily get on top of it as soon as you realise.

10. KEEP HYDRATED. Honestly, I get majorly moody if I haven’t been drinking enough and it’s good for you eiter way so, do it!

11. BE ACCOUNTABLE. Find a buddy to help you keep in check (if you don’t have regular medical appointments or therapy sessions). Someone who you can talk to about how things are going or share experiences. Hey, I’m here if you’re desperate for a bud!

12. TRY TO DEVELOP AND KEEP A ROUTINE. Developing new habits takes a lot of effort and time. So it’s gonna be hard and you’ll feel like you want to give up and just hide under your covers (again, I speak from experience). Try and visualise what you’d like your daily routine to be - write it down, monitor it daily and if you fail try again...

13. TOMORROW IS A NEW DAY and a new chance to do things better. Try again and again until you succeed. And don’t beat yourself up everytime things don’t go exactly the way you want them to...

14. FOCUS ON POSITIVES. Remember those small wins? Write them down at the end of the day (or simply go over them in your mind). Keep a gratitude journal - as cliche as it sounds, remembering the good things at the end of a shit day will help you go to bed on a good note. I once heard of a lady who kept a journal where she only wrote positive things - all the negative crap she left out - I think that’s a great idea and something I am eager to try.

15. DECLUTTER FOR 5 MINS EACH DAY. A clean space makes for a clean mind. I always feel more anxious and moody if my space is messy.

16. EMBRACING MINIMALISM CAN HELP. Having lots of things doesn’t equal happiness or peace of mind. Lots of things create clutter and chaos and, in my case, mind clutter and anxiety.... which is why I’m currently actively trying to be more conscious about my possessions and purchases.

17. LEARN TO SAY NO. A lot of students in this community are perfectionists, overachieving, ambitious young people. It’s very easy to be seduced by cool opportunities, collabs, requests, invitations... Think twice before saying yes - can you realistically do what you are agreeing to? Will it contribute to your anxiety? Will it truly be beneficial for you? Be a bit selfish if you have to. It’s okay to focus on your wellbeing.

18. DON’T LET IMPOSTER SYNDROME TAKE THE REIGNS. We’ve all been there: I don’t deserve this, I’m not good enough, everyone else is smarter, I CAN’T DO THIS. Yes you can! Tell that voice to shut up. Say it in front of the mirror everyday: I AM ENOUGH AND I CAN DO THIS.

19. BREAK THINGS DOWN. Instead of writing on your to do list “clean bedroom”, break it down into as small tasks as possible: “pick up clothes from floor”, “change bedding”, “organise books”, “dust surfaces”, “vacuum”, etc.

20. ASK FOR HELP. I end it as I begun it. When it gets too hard, reach out. Whether it’s a close friend or an anonymous support line you don’t have to go through it alone. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, YOUR LIFE MATTERS.

YOU ARE UNIQUE AND AMAZING AND YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO OFFER.

#mental health #world mental health day #studyblr #procrastination #studygram #studyspo #study motivation #my life #lifestyle #phd life #real life #self help #help #self care #motivation #inspiration #life tips #gradblr #student #curatedjournal #myadvice

[toasttz]

How to make games: RPGs

Hey! You like RPGs, right? If you don't I have to wonder how the hell you found FAN, given our two most-active subboards being vidya and tabletop RPGs, but, whatever! Let's, for the sake of argument, assume you like RPGs. If you don't, fuck off, Greg! ... I don't know anyone named Greg, I just wanted to see if I could screw with people named Greg. Anyways, RPGs, like the houses in Harry Potter, come in four distinct flavors: traditionalist, gonzo/comedy, h-game, and "Inspired by EarthBound/The Mother Trilogy". And much akin to Harry Potter, only two of these houses actually fucking matter and the other two are just hangers-on of different genres and ages. If you're going to waste the player's time by making your H-game an RPG, you are going about it entirely wrong. Please stop dumping this unabashed garbage-fire of a subgenre on Steam, the market is beyond saturation point and requires arm floaties to compensate. And for those of you who played/know of EarthBound and want to make a "spiritual successor"... just stop. Please for the love of God, stop. There never really was a demand for this kind of thing and EarthBound was not a commercial success, so just stop if you have any humanity left in you. I don't think I can stomach anymore fucking quirkiness after the last installment - anymore stuffed down my gullet and I'm gonna shit out a My Hero Academia OC next time my bowels move. So, in truth, you have two flavors of RPG: the traditionalist and the comedian routes and both can be equally terrible. Traditionalist RPGs range from the swords-n-sorcery setting found in Ultima, Dragon Quest, and good Final Fantasy installments to the sci-fi, cyberpunk, steampunk, and emo shit found in bad Final Fantasy installments - it's a wide gauntlet. The only prereq is that you take your own storytelling relatively seriously, with some level of gravity involved in the overall major story beats. Since traditionalist RPGs are made by people with crippling insecurities about change, and the game will largely succeed or fail on the quality of its characters, I'll go ahead and make your cast for you. I'll avoid giving them names so you can customize them: I mean, some people like their fantasy heroes to be named something like "Bulk McUlraeoth Sword Arm of Jupiter" and some people like their fantasy protags to be named "Jim". Who am I to judge your self-insert fanfiction? Sword McHero Man - The guy with short brown or black hair and a generic face done by a B-list manga-ka and, depending on if you want to make him a chillaxed everyman or an edgy edgelord, you can add or subtract belts, zippers, pouches, and black clothing items according to need. He'll almost always use a generic one-handed sword and have fairly short hair. If your game strongly favors an element system, he'll be either fire or light-affinity, but not have any actual strong convictions beyond the fact that he hates 'bad guys' and probably gets his head dunked in toilets by at least 3 NPCs in the starting town. Anything else about him is ultimately superfluous and interchangeable with the next Sword McHero Man over. Childhood McBestfriend - Oftentimes a female foil to the above, but not required by law to be so. Sometimes this doubles as Sword McHero Man's Suave Cool McLancer. They will usually fill a supplementary combat role in the party, either the thief or the healbot as the story requires. If they are the love interest, they are required to be Worst Waifu(TM) by law and be replaced as soon as a competent party member fills out the roster. Typically wind or water elemented in nature, they'll either help calm the hero-man down if he is the hotblooded sort, or cheer him up if he's currently got his head dunked in a toilet. Suave Cool McLancer - Either a rival or thematic foil of the hero and maybe a rival for Childhood McBestfriend's affections, depending on story necessity. He will be a more specialized unit, either the rogue, the heavy-armor knight, or the attack mage. If male, this character will be Best Hasbando and be incredibly pretty or horrifically scarred and/or disfigured with no potential in-betweens. If female, uncommon but not unheard-of, she'll be the team's big sis figure and likely the most powerful, physically speaking. Potential for Best Waifu(TM) is high, but can also potentially double as Back McStabberton. Back McStabberton - The dark, angsty, clearly-untrustworthy one who the player will see their betrayal coming from a mile off, but will completely blindside the naive heroes. Usually they'll have stats inconsistent with the party (being either over or under-powered depending on context) and clash with their bright, anime-esque color scheme by wearing blacks or dark purples. Either a thief or attack mage of some flavor. Almost universally a male or a "devilish handsome rogue" if they get redeemed at some point. If female, they will always be DOUBLE AGENTS acting with the hero's own good in mind and will promptly be forgiven. Usually dies before the game is out. Grandpa McTeacherperson - Some plot-pivotal character who exists to either give the party a special tool, weapon, or ability they wouldn't have gotten otherwise, or elsewise transfer their own talents to the party in some fashion. Virtually irrelevant as characters since these exist exclusively as jaded props to die off to make the villains' actions more personal. Please stop using this archetype or at least TRY to subvert it into something interesting, you talentless lazy fucks. Sexy McFaceTurn - Invariably one of the bad guy's hot ladies will see a boyish charm in the hero, even if the hero is supposed to be projected upon and therefore would actually have the social skills of a duck - or worse, me. What? I did that joke already? Fuck you, this joke's still more inspired than the Tales games RPGs. Anyways, upon getting wet for the hero, she will abandon her post and all its luxuries and join the party, clad in tight, black leather and probably using either knives or whips and will be your prereq dark-affinity character. She will be the sex appeal your game sells on, so be sure to slap her on all your promo materials even though she doesn't join until the mid-late game. Male versions of this idea die. I can't explain it - it's some straight-up Mr. Poofers dark magic, they just die. Annoying McMascot - Your game needs something bizarre to round the party out with. A talking dog is common. A fantasy creature with bright neon colors is also acceptable. Just make sure that players hate it with every fiber of their being. If the design alone isn't enough, give it an annoying speech habit - like a verbal tic or a lisp - and have it talk a lot and repeat the obvious a lot. It is by law that this must be implemented. However, unlike any of the above, this, coupled with the hero, cannot be killed off. And that should more or less do ya, unless you're the type who wanted to pour dozens upon dozens of dudes into your game. In which case, congrats, you understand that doing the absolute base minimum to be called a "game" isn't the bar you should be shooting for and therefore are already on your way to being better than Squeenix. Next, you need to get to codin'! So go on Steam and buy the latest RPG Maker software when it goes on sale. You won't need to wait long, between the Summer and Winter sales. Once you have that, you already have built-in art, music, and character makers. Fuck it - creativity is hard, so let the software tend to that itself. Make some characters and name some locations, jot up a map with some landmarks and treasure, then make a bad guy. Bad guy making is easy, they all wear black or dark reds and purples and tend to always call themselves "The [Whatever] Empire". You don't even need to be arsed to make a motivation for their evil schemes. Have you seen how much Fire Emblem Fates raked in just on the goodwill left over from Awakening? I'm surprised JRPGs aren't made by fucking algorithm these days! Anyways, that just about does it for the traditional RPG. Comedy RPGs aren't quite as bound to the above and are, in fact, encouraged to break the mold. If you need some ideas to get the creative juices flowin', there's a game you can try out, you might have heard about it since I haven't stopped fellating the damn thing since I did the LP back in 2013: Hourai High. Your plot doesn't need to make sense and is better off if any causality is merely coincidental. Your characters shouldn't really be trying to 'save the world', per se, but should do so by side-effect of their selfishness and/or incompetence. Your team should have robots, aliens, fucking CheetahMen, I don't fucking know, but take everything I said above this paragraph and throw it into a shredder, make it confetti, and wail on established convention! Sweet fucking mother - BE CREATIVE. I'm gonna temporarily break facade here for just a second and say this: you know how you bitched about Final Fantasy 15? How it's a fucking boyband music video with a fucking car commercial crammed in it?! How you hated the hallway simulator of FF13? How no one bought Bravely Second? How Dragon Quest keeps getting away with remaking the same fucking game?! Here's your chance. Flaunt on the establishment. Fuck what is "popular". Make something new. Don't try to be Shigesato Itoi. Do your own thing. Break the conditioning. Get out there and make a fucking game. Make it so when people say "RPG Maker Title" on Steam, they aren't saying it like it's a four-letter word. Put some God-damn soul into it, people! And now, off the soap box. Bonus points if you add a dating sim. Just saying. Rune Factory 5 just got announced. Now, get to work. Congrats. You now know how to be the most fucking boring milquetoast thing on the planet and how to avoid that ass-cancer and do something that actually expresses your individuality and possible talent. This is the one time I'm allowing these rants to be somewhat uplifting. You're welcome.

#satire #comedy #RPG #video games #games

[justanothercinemaniac]

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #233 - National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

Spoilers Below

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes.

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: No.

Format: Blu-ray

1) There are five theatrical films in the Vacation franchise, this is the only one I’ve seen. I’ve never seen the need to see the other ones, honestly. This one’s already good enough.

2) The opening animation over which the credits is a strong start to the film. It establishes a classic Christmas vibe and silly/slapstick humor. There’s nothing particularly PG-13 about the animation, just PG. It’s not raunchy or rude, just funny. I think that’s an important thing because it’s what makes Christmas Vacation as good as it is. Not the occasional raunch (which is very limited, I think) but instead the silly family elements. Not to mention it sets up a great original song.

3) The opening carols scene in the car with the Griswold clan does well to establish that dynamic. Clark is a little TOO enthusiastic but it’s sincere, Ellen is supportive, and the kids are kind of over it all.

4) This first encounter with the truckers is very strong. It shows two of the films best comedic elements: Clark’s ability to take things too far and then the build of it. Each choice makes the situation worse and worse leading to an inevitable, unexpected, hysterical climax to the scene.

5) I love Ellen.

Ellen: “Clark, stop it! I don’t wanna spend the holidays DEAD!”

6) Honestly, there are a lot of great little dialogue exchanges in the movie. I dig it.

Ellen: “Clark.”

Clark: “Yes honey?”

Ellen: “Audrey’s frozen from the waist down.”

Clark: “That’s all part of the experience, honey.”

7) When you make a comedy, you HAVE to have a good sense of humor. That’s the entire point! This film succeeds there. It’s odd, ridiculous, slapstick, and silly. Born from escalating problems and crazy “solutions” as well as a nice element of absurdity humor. Clark’s sticky fingers, everything on Christmas Eve, the sled, it all lends itself to this idea.

8) Julia Louise Dreyfus is in this movie. That is all.

9) Of course Chevy Chase is great in this movie, he’s freaking Chevy Chase! But Beverly D’Angelo is equally as good.

While the straighter of the two actors, the one who sees more clearly, D’Angelo gets a number of clever and hysterical moments in the film. She has a great chemistry with Chevy Chase but helps to make her Ellen MORE than Mrs. Griswold. She’s her own character, full of life and personality, patience and flaws, just truly wonderful.

10) I always like that Clark has a Tasmanian Devil coffee mug. It speaks to his fun energy as a character.

11) I never really got why Clark lies to Mary about not being married. It gives Chase a funny outlet to play flustered, but there’s nothing in this film which suggests to me he’d cheat on Ellen.

12) The arrival of the extended Griswold clan is perfectly done. A clear sense of family conflict and insanity is conveyed not only by the performances but the quick editing and off kilter camera angles. It’s very well done.

13)

Clark: “Russ, when was the last time I overdid anything?”

14) Remember how I said Beverly D’Angelo is crazy funny?

Audrey: “Do you sleep with your brother? Do you know how sick and twisted that is?”

Ellen: “Well I’m sleeping with your father.”

15) Much of this film benefits from a pacing that allows us to check in with the whole family here and there, supporting its heart and characters.

16) I actually analyzed the scene where Chevy Chase falls off the roof for a Physics for Filmmakers class. The class was horrible but I had fun with the project. I’d share some of what I wrote but it’s long and boring. Basically the gist of it is the ice can’t travel to the gutter like that but also the velocity of the gutter changes between shots.

17) I don’t know why, but my family always quotes this line like crazy.

Margot: “And why is the carpet wet, TOD?”

Tod: “I don’t KNOW Margot!”

18) Clark’s failed lights attempt.

There are two things which stand out in this scene: Clark’s in-laws are freaking awful and his immediate family are great. The in laws just relentlessly mock Clark leading Audrey to stand up for her dad.

Audrey: “He worked really hard, Grandma.”

I love that. I love seeing Audrey getting to show some real love and support for her dad instead of being sidelined as a stereotypical teenage girl. It’s freaking great.

19) Clark in the attic.

Firstly, Clark’s mother in law is an idiot. “Oh, the ladder to the attic is open. It must’ve just fallen or something, there can’t be ANY way a person is up there. I shouldn’t check or anything.” Jerk.

But most importantly, the attic scene is the best representation of the film’s heart. Holiday movies need a good heart to it, good emotion, otherwise they’re just a lazy cash grab. This film’s heart, its focus on family and familial love, are one of the reasons it has held up as well as it has 28 years later. Clark’s sentiment over watching old home movies, supported by a great Ray Charles song, is one of the best parts of the film.

20)

Clark: “Honey, you honestly think I’d check thousands of tiny little lights if I wasn’t sure it was plugged in?”

21) The fact that the solution to the problem with the lights is so abundantly simple is great. Also relatable. How many of us have plugged something into the wrong plug and obsessed over what was wrong?

22) Cousin Eddie just showing up when he does helps give the film an extra bit of energy to propel it in its last hour. Honestly if we had stuck with what was going on with no change or development it might’ve gotten a little dull, but Eddie is just a perfect source of fun family conflict.

23) Some of Clark’s asides when Eddie shows up are just freaking hysterical.

Clark: “If I woke up tomorrow with my head seen to the carpet I wouldn’t be more surprised than I am right now.”

24) Randy Quaid as Cousin Eddie.

Eddie is this film’s ultimate scene stealer. Quaid, reprising his role from the first Vacation film, plays Eddie as totally sincere and honest. Yes he’s a dumbass, yes he causes problems, but there is not a hint of malice in his performance and that’s important. You need to like Eddie, despite his idiocy, you need to root for him along with the other characters. He’s a sweet guy, he just causes a lot of problems, and he fits perfectly with the rest of the cast.

25) Brian Doyle Murray as Mr. Shirley is a great Scrooge-like character in this film. You understand he’s pretty much a pill before you even learn what he did about Christmas bonuses.

26) The saucer sledding scene is crazy fun, but I never got how Cousin Eddie and the kids were able to see Clark go as far as he did. Like, we see him go through woods where no one else is, across a highway, and into a WalMart. And they’re just up on the hill reacting?

27) Clark’s pool fantasy.

The key part to this fantasy is not the presence of a pool, but how happy it makes his family. Clark doesn’t want to let anyone down. He wants to be a traditional patriarch and provide for his family. To not succeed 100% feels like a failing to him, that’s why the pool is so important to him.

28) The conversation Clark and Ruby Sue have together about Santa Claus continues to show off the film’s heart but mores how it balances heart and humor. There’s some crass language mixed in but it doesn’t undermine the emotion of the scene.

29) And now it’s Christmas Eve, and EVERYTHING on Christmas Eve is just one big problem after another. The night descends further and further into chaos before the movie is over which is truly freaking great!

30) Aunt Bethany and Uncle Lewis are a great late addition to the film. For animation fans, the actress who plays Aunt Bethany is also Betty Boop and Uncle Lewis is Dr. Finklestein from The Nightmare Before Christmas. They’re totally nuts, nonsensical, and just fun to watch.

31) All the cat-in-the-box movement is done by Chevy Chase.

32) That Turkey is SO dry!

All the crunching is so uncomfortably funny, leading into a hysterical extended dinner table scene which is a lot of fun.

33) Honestly these next batch of notes are going to be commenting on how each gag works so well. For example: the dad cat gag, for some reason, is extremely funny!

34) Ah, the Christmas bonus.

This scene is so freaking great. The entire film set it up, we’ve been waiting for this bonus. Meaning the surprise of it is as great for the audience as it is for Clark. The big setup, how much is riding on the bonus, means the fall is even greater. And Chevy Chase’s rant is one of the greatest movie rants EVER! I love it.

35) Clark’s following mania is great to watch, specifically the hilarity and insanity of the squirrel chase.

36) I’m just gonna leave this here.

Clark: “This is a full blown four alarm Holiday emergency here! We’re going to press on and we’re gonna have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap danced with Danny FUCKING Kaye!”

37) The heart to heart between Clark and his dad is a nice reclaiming of the heart that Clark almost lost with his rant. And just when everything seems okay…

38) Eddie happens.

39) I love Ellen.

Ellen: “I’m sorry, this is our family’s first kidnapping.”

40) The police response seems a little excessive, but I guess when a wealthy white guy is kidnapped they bring out the freaking marines.

41) Where Ellen’s hand is in this scene (and where it returns to) was improvised by Beverly D’Angelo.

42) And despite the movie ending on a joke, the ending does have a nice sweetness to it. A sincerity about the madness of the holiday spirit and its equal success.

Christmas Vacation is a holiday treat that grows better with time. The humor is supported by a strong cast and equally strong heart. Chevy Chase is obviously great, but other cast members such as Beverly D’Angelo and Randy Quaid get their time to steal the show. Filled with endlessly iconic holiday movie moments, it’s a great treat for the holiday season.

#Christmas Vacation #National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation #Chevy Chase #Beverly D'Angelo #Randy Quaid #Epic Movie (Re)Watch #Jimming the Camera #Brian Doyle Murray #Movie #Film #GIF

[phenomenahh]

Why my ADD was undiagnosed and what finally tipped me off

I’m going to be going over some things that prevented my diagnosis for so long, some symptoms I never knew were symptoms, and some of the impacts that came from my unchecked ADD. If you’re wondering if you have ADD/ADHD or just want a Hot Take™️ from someone who’s been rocking with it for nearly 15 years now, keep reading. TL;DRs for each paragraph if you don’t do well with long blocks of text. 

When you think of someone with ADD/ADHD, you probably think of the little kid who won’t stop fidgeting and running around and acting up, or maybe the adult who went into art or something because academics were never their strong point. Either way, it’s usually a hyperactive, quirky, blissfully unfocused kid-at-heart. That view is why I didn’t get diagnosed until after my freshman year of high school. I’ve never been super energetic, I can get serious when I really need to, and I used to absolutely adore school! Because I didn’t fit the usual profile of the ADHD kid, no one ever expected that I would roll into adolescence showing major symptoms, and once those symptoms hit, everyone chalked it up to teen angst. Because of this profile, my parents refused to get me tested for ADD or even entertain the possibility that I needed any sort of treatment but good ol’ fashioned negative reinforcement for my falling grades, taking away privileges and taking me off the debate team (which I’m sure you can guess set me right the fuck off) and policing my grades to the point that I dreaded any conversation with them after missing an assignment. They also thought that ADD medication would make me “dependent on drugs” and “not myself anymore”. After doing about 5 minutes of Googling, I knew that neither of those are true at all, which has been confirmed after starting medication. It took me almost failing out of my school and having to drop an advanced course before they listened to my doctor and got me tested. To the surprise of absolutely everyone except me, I actually had ADD. Who would have ever guessed??? TL;DR The stereotypes and profiles of ADD/ADHD aren’t always right, and they prevented me from diagnosis and medication.

The other big reason I went undiagnosed was because I’m a Former Smart Kid (which sounds like a humblebrag but my intelligence is balanced out by my incompetence so let it slide). See, a smart kid is a young person with above-average intelligence, whereas a Former Smart Kid is the kind of person who did incredibly well in school for a while, and then it just all went downhill. Basically up through 4th grade, I was a special little sunflower who was excellent at academics because in those years you can sort of just slide by with very little actual effort. I was so special, in fact, that I skipped 5th grade and went straight to the very challenging one-year 6th grade Smart Children School, where I discovered that when you’re presented with things that require full attention, you can’t just not give them your full attention. I got my first D (the grade) there and cried a lot because I had thought I was smart but smart people just don’t get bad grades. But from there, bad grades and all, I went to my local Smart Adolescents Middle-High School, where my grades just got worse and worse. Only this time, it wasn’t just my grades in classes I didn’t like. I was slipping in my favorite classes, even the ones I was strongest in. Combine that with a bunch of assorted life problems and pubescent angst, and boom: Clearly it’s not ADD because I was so smart up until then. I’m just being lazy, I’m getting rebellious, I’m getting brain damage (seriously some people have found that more likely than ADD), it’s that damn smartphone, etc. TL;DR If you’re a good student when you’re little but your grades fall as you age, no one is gonna think you have ADD because clearly you didn’t have it as a kid.

Being smart as a kid was fun and all, but when ADD symptoms rolled up to the party, it really, really hurt. The thing is, if you spend your whole life being told you’re a fucking prodigy, and then suddenly you start failing, it makes you feel like you were never smart to begin with. I threw all evidence of my intelligence away and dwelled on every bad grade, convincing myself I was only pretending to be smart, that I’d tricked everyone into thinking I wasn’t an idiot. Understandably, that did a number on my self-esteem. It also really messed with my ability to succeed in the things I love. I mentioned debate earlier, but I’ll expand here in case you’ve never met me and heard about how it is literally the only thing I do ever. I do speech and debate at my school, and I love it more than anything. But debate, and even non-debate individual events, require a lot of attention and focus. Guess what ADD really fucks with? So I went through a couple years feeling like I was too dumb to succeed in my passions, and like I was dragging down my partners/teammates/coach/anyone who ever wanted to be proud of me. That wasn’t great for my mental health, as you can probably guess. TL;DR If you start out as a good student then turn into a worse student with apparently no reason, it’s not the best thing emotionally?

Here are some ADD symptoms a lot of people don’t know about: Trouble getting to sleep/waking up in the morning- Pretty self-explanatory, but these are pretty common symptoms that I never really thought about. No reference for the passage of time- You know when someone asks you about how long a length of time has been, and you just… can’t possibly guess? Or when you think 5 minutes have passed, and look up to see it’s been an hour? Or when an hour passes in 5 minutes? Interrupting people- I’ve always had this problem. I usually cross my fingers or put one finger up when I have something to say in the middle of someone’s sentence. Of course, I usually forget what I had to say wishing 5 words, so it sort of works sometimes? Aggression/irritability- Keep in mind, this one’s a symptom of LOTS OF THINGS. Don’t let this be the deciding factor. But it could be something to bring up with your doctor if you’re looking into a diagnosis. Not listening- Looking back, this seems really obvious, but my parents used to think I had hearing problems because I just wouldn’t listen. Rethink some issues you’ve had with this, they could be ADD.

Side note on self-diagnosis If you haven’t been certainly diagnosed by a legitimate doctor or just can’t access one, but you’re pretty sure you have ADD, or even just display a few symptoms, you should absolutely try non-medical methods of dealing with your symptoms, which you can find online pretty easily and can help almost anyone, ADD or not, to get through tough tasks. But don’t try to access accommodations, medications, or other things specifically intended for people with ADD. Doing this will perpetuate the very false stigma that ADD is just a way for neurotypical people to get away with putting in less effort.

#ADD #ADHD #attention deficit disorder #rambling

[20qs20somethings]

Chase, 28

1. Can you use three to five words to describe our generation?  Misunderstood, Neglected, Ambitious, Narrow-Minded, Active

2. What’s your relationship with social media like? It’s love hate I think like most people. I perfectly curate my life on it and I know that everyone else perfectly curates their life to be a perfect museum exhibit and it can be nerve wracking. I tend to be funny on social media as a way of dealing with things and I get a lot of my validation strangely from people liking and giving me positive comments on my posts because it means I’ve impacted them or made them laugh. 

3. Where has our generation failed and where have we succeeded? I think our generation and the generation that follows us has succeeded in understanding groups of people en masse in ways that earlier generations have and cannot. I think one place where the generation fails is the reaction individuals have when they meet people or interact with people who have a different viewpoint, a more traditional viewpoint on some things, or lack the capacity and experience to fully understand social justice or what the issue may be. I think millennials tend to overreact instead of trying to have a conversation that’s productive and able to bring the person they’re talking to closer to their viewpoint or at least to a mutual understanding.

4. Who or what is your biggest motivator in life? Internal ambition to succeed. Something intrinsic that was fostered by my mother. Even though my parents are divorced, I grew up in a very loving environment before and after in which they supported my brother and I. So I think that helped foster a really great sense of wanting to accomplish things and I was sort of the golden child of my church and school which does lend itself to a lot of self imposed stress so though that motivates me, i think it hinders me in a lot of ways too because I don’t handle those failures well. 

5. Do you believe in love? Yeah, I believe in different types of love. Platonic love, the people that bring joy to your life. Familial love, I very much love my family. Romantic love, I have not particularly had that experience, but I’ve had a lot of unrequited love. So I do believe in love, I believe it is a powerful and sometimes destructive force. 

6. What’s something you think people assume of you based on your internet persona? That I have my life together. That I’m a happy person naturally, that I have nothing but successes when in reality, I have constant internal doubt and I’m very self conscious about things and sometimes I sprinkle posts with a little bit of that. Maybe some people pick up on it, maybe some people have. But I think the major misconception that people really buy into my social media persona is who I am. Some of it is me, but it is perfectly curated for maximum likes.

7. What’s one thing you want people to know about you? That I live in a state of conflicted feelings. I was born and raised in Kentucky in a very pretty conservative place. I never felt regressed or oppressed. I grew up in church and I never had a reason like some other millennials, in particular gay millennials, have to sort of reject religion because the best people I ever knew that cared for me the most was my church family so I never fully rejected that or those values that have shifted my viewpoints and philosophies and theological perceptions of religion. 

At the same time, I live in an urban environment that is diverse in thought, religion, I’m part of an LGBTQ community that doesn’t accept that I’ve held on to a lot of things I grew up with. Add that to the fact that I’m a moderate republican operative and it’s not great for the dating life. It also creates conflict because I don’t know exactly where I fit into the LGBT community. There are people who support it and there are those who lay into me, particularly now that Donald Trump is President. For some reason, even though I didn't vote for him, they think I have to own him, own his policies, and his presidency which I do not. 

8. Fill in the blank: “Happiness is _______” Ephemeral for me. I’m not naturally happy and I have to work very hard for that. I think happiness requires a base of contentment and if you’re not content with things, you can’t build off of that into feeling fully happy and in a happy mood. I’d say ephemeral because it’s in this fast paced, ever changing dynamic of the society that we live in. It’s easy for something to come and knock you out of a good, happy state.

9. Do you think you’re represented in things you consume in media? (TV, Movies, Books, etc.) Well I identify in several different ways. I think LGBT, yeah there’s always going to be complaints that there isn’t enough positive representation in media, but in comparison to 10 years ago, it’s only growing and stories are being told. As someone from Appalachia, no. I think if you look at a lot of shows on television, you don’t have those Roseanne’s anymore, you don’t have shows that focus on a blue collar perspective anymore. On the whole, I would say yeah, I am a white male so I am well represented. 

10. Who or what brings you the greatest joy in your life? Moment’s where I’m with people that I enjoy, doing something I enjoy, laughing, making them laugh and having a bonding moment whether with family or friends that people enjoy engaging in.

11. How did you feel after November 8th? I was very conflicted. I like, most people had resigned myself that Hillary was going to win and I was more comfortable with her in a leadership position than the person that was the nominee of my own party. I am not a Donald Trump republican and in many ways, the party, and what he represents is diametrically opposed to many of the ideas that I came into my political own believing. I was very conflicted, I was happy we retained congress, sad that one of my favorite members lost her reelection campaign. 

I’ve still been conflicted this whole time because there’s this sensible part of me that feels like I’m being told that I have to participate in the public flogging of the President, his supporters, and his ideas to be considered a kind compassionate human being. On the other side, the political, professional side of me is like, “I can’t do that because is that disloyal to party?” I have my conversations with my own friends about what he’s doing wrong with pretty much everything. But there is a pressure to feel like I have to own him and his policies.

12. What are your thoughts on marriage? I’d like to be married. I think marriage is a covenant, a promise that you make to another person and to God that you will become one unit, one individual. Do I think you need to be married to be happy? No, but I think that’s up to everyone. I think marriage is very important, it’s important to find the right person and to develop techniques to solve your problems and work through issues. I sometimes wonder, it’s been very difficult for me to find people to date or fall in love with and see myself getting married with. I almost wonder if that’s because I’m supposed to be waiting to find the right person that’s going to be able to have that same concept of marriage.

13. What do you want out of this life? That happiness that I said was ephemeral. I want to be content I want to recognize my blessings because I sometimes forget that.

14. What would you say is your biggest character flaw? There’s quite a few. I think it’s definitely being self conscious to the point of over compensation. So I want people to like me I want to be a people pleaser and I try to do that on social media and if somebody says something to me that makes me think that they don’t like me or they're upset with me, it sticks with me for weeks. Again, I overcompensate by trying to be the fun guy at the party so that everyone will like me. Impatience as well in my career and my romantic life. 

15. How do you want to be remembered? As someone who made people laugh. As someone who hopefully made people feel good about themselves, who was kind. Someone who was creative, thoughtful, and I do hope my memory lasts beyond my death through some accomplishment, even if its a footnote of a footnote in history books.

16. What are qualities that you value? Kindness, compassion, good humor, hard work, thoughtfulness

17. How would you describe what it’s like to navigate your 20s? Exhausting. I think it’s a time when you want to have fun, especially if you’re single. But it’s also a time where you want to be serious and further your career and those can be difficult things to balance. It’s a chaotic time. I think that’s true for many generations. The 20s is when a generation is in that time period, is when they’re most judged by older generations because they’re trying to adjust, adapt, and figure their shit out. It’s unfair for baby boomers who have bankrupted America to be like “millennials are lazy.” Bitch, you bought things you can’t pay for. 

18. What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned so far? I’m in the process of learning how to not let stress and anxiety overpower me. That everything will be fine and turn out right if I don’t meet my goals and I struggle with that on a daily basis and how to cope with those emotions. Beyond that, I think trying to learn patience and realizing that patience is needed. 

I think everyone thinks that when they come out of college that they’re going to hit the ground running that you’re gonna go one hurdle after another. I think it’s really interesting because after college is the first time when you have an open ended life. Up until that point, there’s always something on the horizon when you finish high school, you know the next year you’re going to college, you know you’ll do an internship, you’ll know you go back to school. When you’re out of college, you’re like know what? There’s no natural thing coming at me from the horizon except age and I’ve got to go out and figure it out and that can be daunting for people.

19. What are you scared of? Being alone. Not finding love to not find someone I love and care for. 

20. What is the best piece of advice you want to leave the world with? Just smile more, laugh more, because at the end of the day that’s what’s gonna make your day worth it, it’s those happy moments.

#20qs20somethings #millennials #republican #lgbt #faith #conservative #profile #politics #love #advice #20somethings #marriage #interview

[whatsappstatus2017]

Whatsapp Status {*2017 FRESH*} Coolest Whatsapp Status Quotes!

Whatsapp Status  

Cool Whatsapp Status

1. I look at people sometimes and think... Really??? That’s the sperm that won.

2. When I die, I want my grave to offer free Wifi so that people visit more often.

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3. I love food and sleep. If I give you a bit of food or text you all night, that means something.

4. Diets are hard because I get hungry.

5. We live in the era of smartphones and stupid peoples.

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6. Just saw the most smartest person when I was in front of the mirror.

7. God is really creative, I mean...just look at m!!!

8. I'm not lazy, I'm just on my energy saving mode.

9. Please be patient even a toilet can handle only one ass hole at a time.

10. Whenever i have a problem, I just sing, Then i realize my voice is worse than my problem.

- Cool Whatsapp Status: Best 100,000+ Whatsapp Status Quotes!

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11. When I’m on my deathbed, I want my final words to be “I left one million dollars in the.

12. I always learn from mistake of others who take my advice.

13. “F#%K It.” – my final thought before making most decisions.

14. If I delete your number, you’re basically deleted from my life.

15. Some people need to open their small minds instead of their big mouths.

16. Whenever I think of quit smoking, I need a cigarette to think. 17. Relation of friendship is greater than the relation of blood. 18. When I miss you I re-read our old conversations and smile like an idiot. 19. When I miss you it seems every song I listen to is about you. 20. My silence/smile is just another word for my pain. - Cool Whatsapp Status: Best 100,000+ Whatsapp Status Quotes! Advertisements 21. Sometimes It’s better to be alone…No one can hurt you. 22. The most painful goodbye’s are those which were never said and never explained. 23. Sometimes one middle finger isn’t enough to let someone know how you feel. That’s why you have two hands. 24. Sometimes I’m not angry, I’m hurt and there’s a big difference. 25. My silence doesn’t mean that I quit… It simply means that I don’t want to argue with people who just don’t want to understand!

26. Don’t be so happy, I don’t really forgive people, I just pretend like it’s okay and wait for my turn to destroy them. 27. If you want to make your dreams come true, The first thing you have to do is wake up. 28. I don't have dirty mind, I have sexy imagination. 29. The greatest advantage of speaking the truth is that you don't have to remember what you said. 30. I'm not failed... my success is just postponed.

Latest Cool Status Messages for Whatsapp 31. Everyday is a second chance. 32. If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door. 33. Do not give up, the beginning is always the hardest. 34. The only way to do great work is to love what you do. 35. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Advertisements 36. You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else. 37. Life is like riding a bicycle to keep your balance, you must keep moving. 38. You're already a successful personal. The things we take for granted someone else is praying for. 39. Dreams is not what you see in sleep, Is the thing which doesn't let you sleep. 40. I will win, not immediately but definitely.

Cool Status for Whatsapp for Boys 51. I love to walk in fog, because nobody knows I'm smoking. 52. I'm not drunk, I'm just chemically off-balanced. 53. Oh, so you wanna argue, bring it. I got my CAPS LOCK ON. 54. I'm so poor that I can't pay attention in class. 55. Warning!!! I know KARATE and few other oriental words.

56. I'm not virgin, my life fucks me every day. 57. I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people. 58. Save water drink beer. 59. Virginity is not dignity, It is just lack of opportunity. 60. Not all men are fools, some stay bachelor.

Attitude Cool Whatsapp Messages 61. Phones are better than girlfriends, at least we can switch off. 62. I love my job only when I'm on vacation 63. Friends come and go, but enemies remain and build up. 64. Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. 65. In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker. Mostly collectors are including Hindi Status in every collection due to content unavailability that spoil the collection and user experience. However, we have always picked English status and WhatsApp status in English language. Therefore, now you can directly come and choose WhatsApp status as per your wish and desire :) Check Out Now: Whatsapp Status in English (in English with Pure Grammar) 66. How is a poor man a lot like a rich man? they both have an iPhone. 67. Some people call me Mike, you can call me tonight. 68. Sometimes you succeed and other times you learn. 69. I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle... He's dreaming too. 70. Scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal my status

  Cool Status for Whatsapp for Girls 71. My "last seen at" was just to check your "last seen at". 72. Not always "Available".. try your Luck.. 73. Hey there Whatsapp is using me. 74. Life is Short – Chat Fast! 75. Time is precious, waste it wisely. I wish every desire and wish of you get completed asap. However, we have specially submitted one of the best collection to inspire you to reach our goals in your life.

76. I'm not single, I'm just romantically challenged. 77. Trust in God, But lock your car. 78. AwesoME ends with ME and Ugly starts with You. 79. Try to be a rainbow in someone's cloud. 80. It hurts when you have someone in your heart but not in your arms. Damn Cool Whatsapp Status Quotes 81. Please don’t forget to smile :) 82. Get up every morning, imagine a future then make it happen. 83. Everyone is beautiful in their own way because God makes no mistakes. 84. You're right. I'm NOT perfect. But I'm unique! 85. Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.

86. Don’t compare yourself with anyone in this world… if you do so, you are insulting yourself... 87. Create your own visual style… let it be unique for yourself and yet identifiable for others. 88. Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going. 89. It is almost impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside. 90. No matter how strong of a person you are, there’s always someone who can make you weak

Daily New Cool Whatsapp Status Updates 91. It’s funny how people say they miss you, but don’t even make an effort to see you. 92. Life is like Facebook. People will like your problems & comment on them but no one’s gonna solve them because everyone is busy in updating their. 93. Attitude is like underwear Don’t show it just wore it… 94. I Am Not Special , I Am Just Limited Edition :P 95. I got less but I got best!

96. Get as rude as possible and don’t let anyone tell you how to live. 97. The only reason I am fat is because a tiny body couldn’t store all this personality. 98. Adjustment with right people is always better than Argument with wrong people. A meaningful silence is always better than meaningless words. 99. If a hug tells you how much I love you, I would hold you in my arms forever. 100. Silence is the most powerful scream. 101. Some poeple are like clouds. When they go away, it's a brighter day. 102. I changed my password everywhere to 'incorrect'. That way when I forget it, it always reminds me, 'Your password is incorrect.' 103. Don't know where your kids are in the house? Turn off the internet and they'll show up quickly. 104. A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find, lucky to have. 105. When you wake up at 6 in the morning, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's already 6:45. When you're at work and it's 2:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's 2:31. 105. My goal this weekend is to move... just enough so people don't think I'm dead. 106. I don't need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning. 107. Have some patience, I'm screwing things up as fast as possible. 108. It's a good thing I brought my library card because I'm totally checking you out. 109. You're like a sharpie - super fine. 110. I know I'm a handful, but that's why you have two hands. 111. I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we're having cake. 112. Forget the butterflies, I feel the entire zoo in my stomach when I'm with you. 113. Bought a talking parrot today and taught him to say "Help, I've been turned into a parrot." 114. I made a huge to do list for today. I just can't figure out who's going to do it. 115. At night, I can't fall asleep. In the morning, I can't get up. 116. I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. "Alright, get in the basket." 117. Guys are like stars, there are millions of them, but only one makes your dreams come true. Love starts with a hug, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear. 118. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it's called the present. Life isn't about how many breaths you take but about the moments that take your breathe away. 119. This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 30 dog, seconds dog! … Now read without the word dog. 120. My ex girlfriend’s status said suicidal and standing on the edge. So I poked her. 121. Got a problem with me? Solve it. Think i’m trippin? Tie my shoes. Can’t stand me? Sit back down. Can’t face me? Turn around. 122. Single is not a status. It is a word that best describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others. 123. Facebook should have a “no one cares” button. 114. If your relationship status says, “It’s complicated” then you should stop kidding yourself and change it to “Single” 115. I’d really post your name here every minute if facebook keeps on asking me what’s on my mind 116. Delete me , Poke me, Like me, Limit me ..The choice is yours.. Welcome to facebook, where no one is really your friend. =P 117. I’d rather check my Facebook than face my check book. 118. I’m wondering why logging onto Face book has become part of the everyday routine?… Do I really have nothing better to do! 119. Your intelligence is my common sense. 220. That awkward moment when you change your Facebook status to ‘single’ and your ex likes it. 221. Weather forecast for tonight: Dark with a chance of tomorrow in the morning. 222. I intend to live forever, or die trying. 223. Being nice to people you don’t like is not being two faced, it is called growing up. 224. The kids next door challenged me to a water balloon fight. I’m just updating my status while waiting for the water to boil. 225. Sometimes I wish life was like facebook, you can delete anyone off your page and go back and delete everything you have said and done! 226. …did a lot of nothing yesterday, but I didn’t finish, so I’m going to do it again today! 227. Trust me I am a liar. 228. Got a new job with the local hostage negotiators and tried to phone in sick but they talked me out of it. 229. Girl: Why do you constantly keep posting my name as your Facebook status every 2 minutes? Boy: Facebook keeps asking me what’s on my mind? And honestly, it’s always you. 230. I’ve officially been diagnosed with OFCD (Obsessive facebook checking disorder). I have also been told that I am beyond cure. Please pray for me. 231. Roses are red, Facebook is blue, No mutual friends, Who the hell are you? 232. Facebook is the only place you can write whatever you feel on a wall. Grrrr Facebook won’t stop asking what’s on my mind even if I tell it, it keeps on asking. 233. I’ve gone out to find myself. If I should arrive before I get back, please ask me to wait. 234. I Know Wat You’re Doing Right Now… You’re Reading On My Wall, Right ! 235. Facebook is like prison, you write on walls and get poked bu people you don’t know. 236. Call me anorexic, call me fat. I can put on or I can lose that. Call me annoying, call me dumb. Excuse me miss; but I’m having fun. Call me a flirt, call me fake. That’s just me, so give it a break. Call me weird, a nerd & a geek. Call me what you want, I’m just unique. 237. Facebook should have an ‘Enemy List’ 238. Adding you as my friend doesn’t mean I like you, I did it just to increase my friend list. 239. You can't please everyone, you're not a Nutella jar. 240. Hmmm this text message is a little too harsh, I'll add LOL at the end. 241. Seeing a spider in my room isn't scary. It's scary when it disappears. 242. I'm not running away from hard work, I'm too lazy to run. 243. I miss the days when you could just push someone in the swimming pool without worrying about their cell phone. 244. Some people have "aha" moments, I just have "Oh Seriously?" moments. 245. Dear humans, in case you forgot, I used to be your Internet. Sincerely, The Library. 246. Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you. "Yeah. So is a grenade." 247. They say "don't try this at home" so I'm coming over to your house to try it. 248. For you, I would swim across the ocean. LOL, just kidding, there are sharks in there. 249. Sure, I do marathons. On Netflix. 250. Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad. 251. Always be positive. *Trips down the stairs* Whew, I got down those stairs fast. 252. Never wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, and the pig likes it. 253. Dear automatic flushing toilet... I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I wasn't done yet. 254. If you keep annoying me, I'll give your phone number to all the kids and tell them it's Santa's hotline. 255. Facebook should have “So What” button! 256. As Facebook has a “Poke” button, it should have a “Kick” button as well. 257. My greatest fear is that I will accidentally use the status update as the search bar. 258. I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell – you see, I have friends in both places. 259. Whoever said facebook was a good idea, “Let me share my dull life with the rest of the planet.” ? 260. No matter what anyone says, my cooking is excellent, even the smoke alarm seems to be cheering me on! 261. Facebook is the red carpet for pretty girls who have no talent. 262. …It’s Not That I Hate You… But Let’s Put It This Way If You Were On Fire And I Had A Gallon Of Water I’d Drink It. 263. He who went to facebook and left myspace is wise. 264. Am quitting face book to face my books. 265. Facebook should add a “dislike button” some updates are just too senseless. 266. Facebook is where hypocrisy, falseness, double standards, rumors and depression meet up for coffee. 267. I’d say we should have a “You Bore me” button on Facebook! 268. Single doesn’t always mean lonely and relationship doesn’t always mean happy. 269. Paper cut: A tree's final moment of revenge. 270. People like me great. People don’t like me great. As long as I like myself that all that matters. 271. Thank you to every person who has ever told me I can’t. You are just another reason I will. 272. I made my Facebook name "Benefits," so when you add me now it says "you're friends with benefits." 273. Marriage is like a walk in the park... Jurrasic Park. 274. How does a train eat? Chew, Chew... 275. I'd walk through fire for my best friend. Well, not fire because that's dangerous. But a super humid room... well not too humid, because you know... my hair. 276. What did the traffic light say to the other traffic light? Don't look, I'm changing. 277. You know you're an adult when you get excited about a new cleaning sponge at the kitchen sink. 278. Yes of course I am athletic... I surf the Internet every day. 279. I'm not weird, I'm just limited edition. 280. Dear Diamond, we all know who is really a girl's best friend. Sincerely yours, Chocolate Cake. 281. Of course I talk to myself... sometimes I need expert advice. 282. If Monday had a face... I would punch it. 283. I drank so much Vodka last night that this morning I woke up with a Russian accent. 284. I wasn't mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if I'm mad.. yes, I'm mad! 285. I enjoy taking long romantic walks, to the fridge. 286. I really should do something with my life... maybe tomorrow. 287. I have reached a point in life where I feel it is no longer necessary to try & impress anyone. If they like me the way I am, good & if they don’t, it’s their loss. 288. You can’t compare me to the next girl. Because there is no competition. I’m one of a kind, and that’s real. 289. An attitude is an inward thought that wiggles its way out. 290. I’m not cranky. I just have a violent reaction to stupid people. 291. I might not be someone’s first choice, but I am a great choice. I don’t pretend to be someone I’m not, because I’m good at being me. I might not be proud of some of the things I’ve done in the past, but I’m proud of who I am today. I may not be perfect, but I don’t need to be. I am the way God made me. Take me as I am or watch me as I walk away. 292. There can be no positive result through negative attitude. Think positive. Live positive. 293. A bad attitude can literally block love, blessings and destiny from finding you. Don’t be the reason you don’t succeed. 294. Like me for who I am and not for who you want me to be. Take it or leave it. That simple. 295. What others think of me is none of my business. 296. Love me or hate me I’m still gonna shine. 297. Keep your face towards the sunshine, you will never see the shadow. 298. I’m only responsible for what I say not for what you understand… 299. Some days I wish I had the wisdom of a 90 year old, the body of a 20 year old, and the energy of a 3 year old. 300. I know that Einstein's theory of relativity is correct because every weekend goes by twice as fast as normal. 301. Smiles are contagious... be a carrier. 302. Every weekend I do what I love most, absolutely nothing! 303. Relax, it's the weekend... just don't blink or it will be all over. 304. To thrive in life you need three bones. A wish bone, a back bone, and a funny bone. 305. It's so hot outside that I went to buy vegetables, and by the time I got home they turned into soup already. 306. Please cancel my subscription to your issues. 307. I tried looking at the bright side of life, but it hurt my eyes. 308. I'm a Nillionaire. I have little to no money! 309. Square box, round pizza, triangle slices, now that's confusing. 310. Never judge a book by it's movie. 311. Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they'll start using it. 312. Exercise? I thought you said extra fries! 313. I hate mosquitoes. I mean, I know I am delicious, but I don't give out free samples. 314. Isn't it funny how red white and blue represent freedom, unless they're flashing behind you? 315. So you’re a player? Nice to meet you, I’m the coach. 316. If taking a shower is bad for the environment, I know I’m doing the world a big favor!;) 317. For those of you complaining you can’t sleep, LOG OFF FACEBOOK! It’s a proven fact that it’s impossible to sleep while facebooking. 318. David loves animals. Especially the sweet and sour chicken. 319. Liking your own status is like high fiving yourself in the face. 320. I wish that I could put my status to what I am really thinking. 321. I should change my name to No One, that way when I request you as a friend it will say “No One wants to be your friend”. 322. I should change my name to No One, that way when I request you as a friend it will say “No One wants to be your friend”. 323. The person who has ruined my life is one and only Mark Zuckerberg :D 324. Who needs TV we got Facebook DRAMA.

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325. Go away don’t talk to me right now cause it’s my break time and I’m on FB mode… 326. Has implemented a healthy routine, affecting immediately . Very basic and it’s free – Nap Time!! 327. If the world really ends in 2012, I wasted my whole life in school. 328. Dear Facebook: They are not “Suggested friends.” They’re people I’m intentionally trying to avoid. 329. I don’t care what you think of me! Unless you think I’m awesome – in which case, you’re right! Carry on… 330. Don’t run after him who tries to avoid you..! 331. I just want to be left alone, is it hard. I don’t wanna talk because it ain’t going anywhere, let me be. I’ll be fine because I’m stronger than you think I am, I will not be defeated. 332. Treat me like a queen and I’ll treat you like my king. Treat me like a game. And I’ll show you how it’s played. 333. I’m just a mirror for you, You are good, I’m best, You are bad, I’m worst. 334. Don’t get my personality and my attitude twisted, because my personality is me, and my attitude depends on you! 335. Life: Besides gravity, nothing keeps me down. 336. I don’t follow others, I only follow my orders because I am my own boss. 337. Whatever life gives you, even if it hurts, just be strong & act like you’re okay. Strong walls shake, but never collapse. 338. My attitude is based on the way you treat me. 339. I let my haters be my motivators. 340. Attitude is not what you learn from school, it is part of your nature from within. 

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[mysteryshelf]

BLOG TOUR - Big City Heat

Welcome to

THE PULP AND MYSTERY SHELF and the May Mid-Month of Mystery Week!

DISCLAIMER: This content has been provided to THE PULP AND MYSTERY SHELF by Partners in Crime Virtual Book Tours. No compensation was received. This information required by the Federal Trade Commission.

Big City Heat: A Brack Pelton Mystery

by David Burnsworth

on Tour April 24 – May 26, 2017

Synopsis:

Lowcountry bar owner and ex-Marine Brack Pelton heads to Atlanta in the wake of a panicked 3 AM phone call. A woman is missing and Brack’s friend Mutt is in danger. Brack’s old flame, investigative news correspondent Darcy Wells, now lives there and is set to marry another man. If Brack was honest with himself, and he usually wasn’t, he’d realize that the missing woman isn’t the reason for his visit. His Semper Fi buddy Mutt can handle himself just fine.

When Brack and Mutt team up to find the woman, the Atlanta underworld revolts, the two biggest players target them, and people start dying. Most people would size up the situation, call it impossible, and walk away. But most people are not Brack Pelton. Impossible situations are his specialty. He made it through Afghanistan and when the military commanders mistook suicidal tendencies for leadership qualities they promoted him. Can Brack succeed at finding the woman, protecting his friend, and winning the girl without destroying the Capital of the South? Not since Sherman’s march across Georgia has the city of Atlanta been in this much danger.

Book Details:

Genre: Mystery Published by: Henery Press Publication Date: April 25, 2017 Number of Pages: 212 ISBN: 9781635111996 Series: A Brack Pelton Mystery Book, 3 Purchase Links: Amazon 🔗 | Barnes & Noble 🔗 | Goodreads 🔗

Read an excerpt:

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me… Psalm 23:4

Atlanta, Georgia, Wednesday night, Mid-May

Brack Pelton waited in his Porsche by a no-parking zone in a very bad part of the city and watched someone he thought he knew well climb out of an old Eldorado convertible. The man entered a ramshackle building with a neon beer mug shining through its one dirty window.

Easing away from the red-marked bus stop, Brack found a better location down the block and pulled in. Before getting out of the Porsche, he woke Shelby, his tan mixed-breed dog slumbering in the backseat, and pulled a forty-five from the glovebox. He verified a round was chambered.

Shelby licked his lips and gave a quick bark as Brack slid the pistol down the back waistband of his cargo shorts.

Patting his dog on the head, Brack asked, “Ready?” A needless question. Another bark affirmed Shelby’s stand on things.

“When we get inside, your job is to find Mutt. Okay?” Shelby licked his face. Brack knew that as long as their target hadn’t escaped out some back door, Shelby would find him. Mutt was one of his favorite people. Brack’s too. That was why tracking him like this went against everything he believed in doing.

Mutt was the one who often rode shotgun with Brack as they’d right Charleston’s wrongs. Now Mutt was the one in the crosshairs. Thanks to an early morning phone call from Cassie, Mutt’s girlfriend, a life depended on answers his friend would give. The forty-five wouldn’t come out unless trouble came up.

The barroom’s rusty screen door screeched open. Shelby darted ahead, already focused on his objective. Brack entered a time warp. Uncanny how even the sour bar wash fragrance and cigarette smoke were the same. Through the old familiar haze, he imagined Mutt standing behind a peeling Formica counter pouring drinks to patrons who could barely afford their rent. Somehow, Mutt had managed to replicate his termite-infested watering hole three hundred miles west of where his original joint stood before some spoiled neighborhood brat burned it down.

“You lost?” A very large African-American man wearing a soiled wife-beater chalking a pool cue confronted the white newcomer.

Meeting his gaze, Brack said, “No. I’m looking for a loudmouth Marine named Mutt. If he’s here drinking, the rounds are on me. If he owns this place, I’m going to beat the life out of him.”

“Big talk coming from someone in yo’ shoes,” he said. Four other men flanked him, two on each side, all with arms folded across their meaty chests. Five soiled wife-beaters in a row. A worn-out AC unit clicked and sputtered, failing to condition the polluted air in the establishment.

Shelby seemed to take longer than usual to find Mutt. Only one thing could sidetrack him. But no women had ever been present in the original Mutt’s Bar in Charleston. They’d been afraid to enter the place.

Maybe Atlanta women were different. Casually Brack removed the half-smoked cigar he’d been saving in his pocket and lit it. The only faithful friend he had left at the moment was his own adrenaline. Brack was angry at Mutt and wouldn’t mind working it out of his system on these five gentlemen facing him.

Three more joined them. Okay, these eight gentlemen.

Brack felt more gather behind him. His wayward dog better have a real good excuse for not warning him.

Taking a drag on the stogie, he exhaled a cloud of smoke to add to the carcinogenic fog. “It’s going to be a bad day for some of you.”

Chuckles echoed around the room, undoubtedly at his expense.

Mutt pushed his way through the gathering mob. A few inches over six feet, he’d replaced his boxed Afro with a close trim since the last time Brack had seen him. His clothes were of a more recent vintage, another change, and to Brack’s untrained eye, quite stylish.

“Opie, you always got to do things the hard way, don’t ’cha?” Brack couldn’t decide if he wanted to punch him or shake his hand. The fact that his friend sported a bridge that replaced his missing front teeth also caught him off guard.

Shelby was not with Mutt. From behind, Brack heard the gruff words, “You want us to take this cracker out back, Mutt?”

Mutt knew as well as Brack did that they were greatly outnumbered. But Brack figured Mutt also knew that a few of his patrons would spend the next few weeks in the hospital if things went south.

Before either of them could say anything, a husky female voice came from somewhere in the crowd. “You got the prettiest dog.”

All the men turned in the direction of the voice. Through a break in the undershirt line, Brack observed a heavyset black woman in a way-too-tight purple body suit. Clearly she’d fallen in love with his dog. Her extra-long orange day-glo fingernails scratched behind his ears.

Sitting on his haunches with closed eyes, Shelby flapped his tongue and panted in what Brack recognized as pure bliss. Two other women wearing similar attire also gave Shelby their full attention. Brack was about to get pummeled by eight or more hulks itching to right the wrongs of their world, yet his dog had managed to pick up what looked like all the women in the establishment.

The spokesman for the wife-beater ensemble said, “We ain’t finished wit you, white boy.”

Brack turned back to him. Mutt got between them. “Easy, Charlie. He’s my brother.” The men looked at each other as if Mutt and Brack could possibly be related. Of course, they weren’t in the traditional sense.

“Summertime” by Billy Stewart began to play somewhere in the room. A real classic.

Circling Shelby, the women moved their ample hips to the beat. The dog, in plus-sized heaven, spun around, not sure which lady to kiss first.

A fourth woman Brack hadn’t noticed until now came from behind the bar to stand beside Mutt. Almost as tall as Brack, with dark brown skin, a buzzed haircut, and toned figure bordering on muscular. Her inked-up arms momentarily distracted Brack.

The man Mutt called Charlie said, “I don’t care who you think he is. He ain’t got the juice to come in here talking about beatin’ you up.”

Mutt turned to his old friend. “You said you was gonna beat me up?”

“Something like that.” Brack cocked his head. “I get a call begging me to drive here from Charleston. It’s Cassie. She’s scared half to death because some men threatened her, and she doesn’t know what you do when you leave her house late at night. Put yourself in her shoes.”

The woman bartender looked at him. “You must be Brack.” Mutt interrupted. “Opie, I’ma tell you like I tol’ Cassie. What I do is my bidness. She ain’t got no right to ask.”

Charlie moved in like he was about to throw a punch. Before Brack could react, the toned female bartender grabbed Charlie by the shirt collar and said, “You really don’t want to do that.”

Mutt said, “Easy there, Tara. We all friends here.” She didn’t let go. Charlie backed off. Brack dropped what was left of his cigar on the floor, crushed it with his foot, and turned back to Mutt. “You better tell me what’s going on, or I will beat the ever-living daylights out of you.”

***

Excerpt from Big City Heat: A Brack Pelton Mystery by David Burnsworth. Copyright © 2017 by David Burnsworth. Reproduced with permission from David Burnsworth. All rights reserved.

Author Bio:

David Burnsworth became fascinated with the Deep South at a young age. After a degree in Mechanical Engineering from the University of Tennessee and fifteen years in the corporate world, he made the decision to write a novel. He is the author of both the Brack Pelton and the Blu Carraway Mystery Series. Having lived in Charleston on Sullivan’s Island for five years, the setting was a foregone conclusion. He and his wife call South Carolina home.

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This is a rafflecopter giveaway hosted by Partners in Crime Virtual Book Tours for David Burnsworth and Henery Press. There will be 1 winner of one (1) $15 Amazon.com Gift Card and 5 winners of one (1) eBook copy of Big City Heat by David Burnsworth. The giveaway begins on April 22, 2017 and runs through May 29, 2017. This giveaway is for US residents only. Void where prohibited by law.

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