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two-am-outlines-only · 2 years

Text

Tender Loving Care

Summary: Logan Sanders has OCD, making him check and recheck everything to make sure things are still safe. A plant gifted to him by an unknown party shifts his focus enough to allow him to gain control over his life again, one carefully tended to flower at a time.

Warnings: none

Ships: logicality (Logan x Patton)

Word Count: 2496

AO3 Link

Chapter 2 - Wilting

"I gotta say Specs, I'm almost jealous that this is your room and not mine. Never pegged you for a Nature Nerd."

"Lay off Princey, we all have our habits."

Logan hummed in amused agreement from his place at his desk, smiling as a light breeze ruffled through the papers on its surface though not hard enough to send his organization to the literal wind. His room had been a collaborative effort after Patton had encouraged him to open up to the others more, making voicing his needs and breaching communication gaps much easier with the supportive side at his back. Roman had been the first to know, as Logan did not have the creative powers to make the changes he wanted. With minimal teasing, the princely side had "fulfilled his royal duty as a dear friend" to help make the layout changes he had been struggling to realize. Now his room was completely transformed and he absolutely loved it.

The shelves full of books and binders were still there, but now their sides were crawling with carefully maintained vines of every variety. Wisteria climbed up the sides of a shelf closest to him, while a grape vine had steadily curled up towards the ceiling in a corner, supported by carefully placed pegs embedded in the walls. The door was framed by a hyacinth bean vine that had already started to flower thanks to the power of the mind scape. His ceiling was taller, reaching 10 feet around the right edges of the room to accommodate for the climbing plants, glow in the dark star stickers still stuck to the plaster. Beyond that however, it faded into infinity.

The way Roman had reconstructed made it so a controlled portion of the imagination was contained within his room, a feat he was quite proud of and had offered to work into the others' room as well if they wish. This meant that the ceiling faded into an expanse of sky that loosely mirrored outside reality, going so far as to mimic an impossibly clear sky at night in which the colors of the galaxy could be on full display. This also meant there was room for a wide expanse of flowers that thrived better in an outside environment, and trees as far as the eye could see in every variety from cedars to cherry blossoms, though he hadn't ventured too far yet. Closer to his actual room he still kept and maintained his succulents on another shelf, the one Patton had gifted him so long ago still growing strong and placed proudly in the middle.

Logan was brought back from his thoughts as he felt a warm hand lay itself gently on his shoulder, prompting him to look up into the face of his loving boyfriend. They had established a tentative relationship after Patton had been led into his room for the first time for an impromptu thank-you-for-starting-my-plant-obsession cuddle session. His obsessive checking was still there, Logan realistically didn't expect it to go away so suddenly, if at all. But the stress that came with it was practically non-existent, especially once he entered his room to care for his lovely greenery. He felt more at ease, more heard, more cared for, than he had in years, and he had Patton to thank for easing him into a less stressful routine the way that he had.

Patton leaned forward and plucked the pen out of Logan's hands, spinning the chair around as he did and plopping down in his lap. "No more work, Lo. Enjoy the scenery."

And Logan really couldn't object to that could he? Late afternoon sunlight lit up the room, Roman was busy sketching something or other into a thickly bound and worn book, and Virgil was resting quietly under one of the trees nearby, face relaxed as he let the rooms ambience wash over him. Roman really had outdone himself.

Logan leaned back in the chair, wrapping his arms around Patton's middle and dragging him back with him to rest his chin on his shoulder. Patton giggled quietly as he adjusted slightly to make them both more comfortable, finally relaxing all the way to enjoy the fragrant breeze blowing around them.

------

"Hey, Lo? I think this one might be wilting."

Logan jerked his head back from where he had been carefully testing the soil saturation of his cactuses, quickly making his way over to Patton who had been helping water the controlled garden at the edge of his room. Yellow lilies were growing in this particular section, the one in question had turned a pale brown in color, its sickly stem barely able to hold itself up. It was clear it was past the point of saving, though with his careful care he couldn't fathom how its suffering had escaped his notice for so long. His hand tapped a nervous rhythm on his thigh, a steady 1 2 1 2 count that calmed his anxiety somewhat.

"That's...only natural, I suppose. Things die, I hadn't expected them to in the mind scape but I suppose Roman paid close attention to detail when making this, which I cannot fault him for."

Patton eyed him closely. "Are you sure?"

"Of course." The small lie slipped out easily, making him wince slightly. It really wasn't that big of a deal...at least it shouldn't be. It was just...he was so careful, and he knew Patton was as well, and the flowers were so pretty and were growing so healthily but...it didn't matter. Plucking it gently out of the bed , he waved it away and patted over the place it had once stood, smoothing out the dirt neatly. "There. No harm done."

Patton still looked worried, but wisely decided not to say anything.

-----

Over the course of two weeks flowers continued to wilt in and out of the contained garden space. It really shouldn't have mattered but Logan didn't understand what he could be doing wrong. The routine hadn't changed, he'd done countless hours of research trying to figure out what could possibly be the problem but could deduce nothing. Stress was creeping into the one place it had never been and it was setting him on edge, his compulsive checking resurfacing after months of staying under control. Locks. Yes. Microwave. Yes. Thermostat. Were the knives put away properly in the block? Was the coffee table moved just this way so that no one tripped getting up from the couch? Odd, new compulsions swarmed his mind in the dead of night. Were the carpets loose on the stairs? That would be a major safety hazard, that needs checked. What about the banister? Check. Recheck. The microwave really was unplugged right? Check. Check. What about the windows, they were shut weren't they?

Check.

Recheck.

Check.

"Sweetheart, what are you doing up?" Logan looked up from his current activity: pulling at the carpet at the bottom of the stairs to see if it was loose. It wasn't. He'd checked and made sure. But he had to check again. To be sure.

"Lo-"

"No. I have to finish checking."

"How many times have you pulled that section?"

Logan's face heated but he continued anyway, Patton standing at the top of the stairs patiently waiting. He knew this was important to Logan and he respected it. But it was currently 3AM and he had no idea how long Logan had been up before this.

He watched as the taller man stood up slowly and made his way to the kitchen, where Patton quickly followed.

"I have to check the microwave."

"Logan you checked that before bed didn't you?"

"I have to make sure."

"Logan-"

The side in question whirled around. "No! I have to check! I have control over this, I can check and recheck and if everything's fine then everything is fine! I can monitor this! This-" he waved in agitation at the still unplugged microwave. "-makes sense!"

Logan had circles under his eyes that could put Virgil's eyeshadow to shame and his exhaustion was made apparent with his swaying body throughout his speech. Slowly, carefully, Patton reached out and took Logan's hands in his, squeezing them gently and nodding in understanding.

"I'm not mad at you. And I'm not asking you to stop okay? I just want you to sleep, you look exhausted."

Looking back at the microwave, Logan slowly nodded, slumping forward slightly and taking calming breaths. "Okay."

Patton nodded again. "Okay."

-----------

The next day was greeted with a slightly better mood. There were no obligations to fulfill, so the morning had been spent catching a couple more hours of much needed sleep at the request of Patton and enough cuddles and kisses to last him a month, not that he would ever have enough. Today the cactuses and succulents needed watered and though he was still on edge he was looking forward to the calming activity.

He hummed slightly as he took up the small watering can used for the small plants and smiled over at Patton who was busy guiding one of the vines to grip another pike in the wall. Making his way to the shelf his simple tune caught dead in his throat, watering can forgotten as his grip slackened and it spilled across the hardwood floor.

"Are you okay? What's the matter?" Patton rushed to his side, and getting no response, followed his lovers line of sight to the middle of the shelf.

Wilted, dried and brown, the very first succulent plant Patton had given him was spread out dead in its pot, a far cry from the healthy green it had been just the day before.

He quickly looked back to Logan, any words of consolation dying in his throat as he saw the tears running down the others cheeks. He watched helplessly as the other strode forward and took the pot in his hands, folding himself down around it with shaking shoulders. Only when Patton heard the faint sobs becoming louder did he step forward carefully to crouch down next to him.

"Logan?"

"This was...you gave this to me....this was the first one and now it's gone and I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID!" Gasping sobs escaped him as his shoulders shook even more, desperately gripping to the plant pot as if squeezing it hard enough would bring the plant itself back to life. Patton gently tugged Logan into him, resting his head against his chest as the other sobbed his heart out. His mind raced even as he began rocking them, gently whispering words he hoped were comforting down to the other.

Roman wouldn't speed up the rate of decay like this and Virgil would never play a prank this cruel. They and Patton were the only ones with the permission to come into Logan's spot in the Imagination, which had to be given to enter at all. The only side that might not need it....

------

Patton gently placed Logan's limp form on the bed, the other having cried himself to the point of exhaustion after a nearly hour long breakdown. His face hardened as he sunk out, popping up in Thomas's living room.

"Oh hey Patton, wha-"

"Hey kiddo, where's Remus?"

Thomas squinted in confusion, pausing whatever show he was watching to really look at his moral side. Patton's cardigan was gone and there was a large wet spot on the top of his polo. His clothes were otherwise rumpled but his face was the most worrying. Hard and set in a way he had never seen on the normally cheery side his concern only grew.

"I don't know. Did something happen?"

"Summon him please."

Not daring to question it, Thomas quickly stood up. "Remus!"

The Duke appeared behind the T.V., cursing as he took in his surroundings.

"I appreciate the invitation Thomas, but no thank you-"

"Too bad." Before Remus could sink out, Patton had a fistful of his sash and they disappeared together, leaving Thomas staring confusedly at the spot they had left.

--------

"Do you have any idea what you've done, Remus?" Patton maintained his hold on the Duke, staring at him with an intensity that made Remus of all sides swallow the words that immediately rose up and actually think over his response.

"Well...normally it's a question of who, not what, so I'd say I haven't the faintest idea what you're referring to." Trying for vulgar humor to make the apparently very pissed off moral side let him go, his stomach sunk only deeper as Patton's face only darkened further.

"Logan's. Plants. What did you do. To Logan's. Plants."

Remus' eyebrow quirked in confusion. He knew now of course what Patton was talking about. But his prank was harmless! ...right? Why would he care so much about the nerds newest passion project? He decided to voice as much.

"All it was was a little realism! Roman had made the whole setup so perfect and boring. All I did was liven it up a bit. By...you know...killing....them?" The longer he spoke the more confidence left him. He wasn't scared of Patton, definitely not. Puppy and kitten loving Patton who definitely didn't have a look on his face that would set fire to the world if it were allowed to smolder.

"Here's what you're going to do. You're going to fix the plants. You're going to wait here until Logan wakes up and apologize. You'll do it without complaint. Without sex jokes or vulgar language. And it will be genuine. After which, you will never touch anything in Logan's room without explicit permission from Logan himself. Are. We. Clear."

Swallowing thickly, Remus could only nod as he was finally let go, the fun loving father figure leaving him to stare off in chastised fear of ever daring to cross Morality again.

------

Logan sat back in his desk chair, sighing contentedly as a soft breeze fluffed out his hair. Patton sat behind him on the bed, gently scratching at Logan's scalp as he used his other hand to mindlessly color another cat in his book. Roman sat against a tree with Virgil, scowling playfully at the emo's choice in music while they shared a pair of headphones, Virgil hissing quietly about it being his turn and to "Suck it up, Princey."

"Remus, leave them alone." The Duke pouted before sitting back and busying himself with a worn sketchbook instead, knowing where the line was when he was allowed in Logan's room. His plants thrived properly now, his stress free zone rejuvenated with the knowledge it would stay that way. He still didn't know what had prompted Remus to play the cruel joke in the first place, nor what had made him fix everything and, according to Roman, give his first genuine apology.

As fingers continued to brush through his hair, he mentally shrugged and relaxed into the touch. In this instance at least, he felt it was okay not to know.

#oren writes #sanders sides #sanders sides fic #logan sanders #sanders sides logan #patton sanders #sanders sides patton #patton x logan #patton sanders x logan sanders #logicality #virgil sanders #remus sanders #roman sanders #sanders sides virgil #sanders sides remus #sanders sides roman #logan has ocd

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armageddonouttahere · 3 years

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Consolation

Title: Consolation

Summary: Takes place after “Putting Others First”, in which Roman sinks into his room and doesn’t leave for a while. Logan is the only one not preoccupied enough to come and lure him out, but in this he has to face emotions he’s been putting on the backburner for a long time.

Pairings: Romantic Logince, background platonic Moxiety

Warnings: Crying, self-doubt, insecurity, negative thinking

Rating: General Audiences

Genres: Fluff, Hurt/comfort (with a happy ending)

Word count: 2,500

A/N: Here we are, at last! I had cranked out the last couple paragraphs of this fic just an hour ago, and I’m very excited. This had gone from a little Logince comfort drabble to a fic of 2,500 words (exactly, though I didn’t do that on purpose). I hope anyone who sees this enjoys it, and everyone who’s been waiting for it likes it even more, after all this suspense. Taglist will be at the end, under the cut.

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Logan was at a loss. The aftermath of Janus’ name reveal left all the sides shaken and fragile. Especially Roman. Logan wanted to help, he wanted to be able to tell Roman with certainty that he will be okay, that everything will be alright. Logan needed to be able to look Roman in the eyes and know that the words that came out of his mouth are truths.

But he can’t. So, Logan focused on the problems he could solve. He endeavoured to keep Thomas in working order, though on the inside he may be struggling. Virgil seemed to have taken a backseat, focused on watching over Patton. The most he’d seen of the anxious side was weekly updates and reports on Patton’s condition, how he was feeling, which Logan appreciated greatly. He needed all the positive data he could get.

As the logical side, Logan was somewhat attuned with the other sides’ reasoning and thought process. He needed this information to be accurate in order to know how Thomas works, how he functions. He knew how the other sides try to solve problems, how they understand things. When something or someone throws a wrench in the system it’s one of the few things that affected Logan physically.

In the aftermath after Roman sank out Logan had migraines for weeks. Roman’s flawed logic- his flawed perception of himself- is the one thing that has caused Logan the most physical pain. Roman’s view of himself shifted so drastically to the negative end that Logan felt… sorry? For him?

He felt… he- he felt. Roman made him feel. What did he feel, exactly? Empathy? It was true that Roman’s emotional pain gave Logan physical pain, but the shared anguish went further than that. Logan knew what it’s like to feel wrong, to feel unheard. He related to Roman. He knew what he’s going through.

Their opinions may differ, but Roman still needed consolation. Logan won’t further his belief that Janus is the villain, but Roman doesn’t need a scolding or a lecture, skewed though his viewpoint of Janus may be. He needed someone to listen to him, someone to comfort him.

Logan was aware that he’s no optimal candidate for the matter, not the first choice for consolation (nor the second). He does not possess the endless cuddles and comfort food of Patton, nor does he have the quiet understanding and listening ears of Virgil. His only way of reassuring the prince is through data, probabilities, and chances. Inadequate. Unsatisfactory. Definitely not enough.

Logan made a plan. A plan to make Roman feel better. A plan to get Roman to open his door, something he hadn’t done in two weeks. He gathered things he believed he would need in order to cheer Roman up: the Sherlock screenplay Roman had gifted him at Christmastime, Logan’s book of Shakespeare’s plays (Hamlet being pre-marked with a red sticky-note, in case Roman is feeling increasingly dramatic and macabre), his journal for note-taking, vocab cards, and his laptop- which has a playlist compilation full of ‘cute’ animal videos at the ready. All of this was needed for Logan to get up the courage to knock on Roman’s door. He felt as if he’s putting on an armour of sorts. Preparing himself for battle.

It’s quite funny- the logical side needs bravery and courage to step outside his area of expertise and comfort the prince of the group.

May 17th, 2020. 1830 hours. Attempt #1: Prologue.

Roman has not left his corner of the mindscape for 16 days, 6 hours, and 28 minutes. Virgil has just given an update on Patton’s condition, which is thus: Patton’s “room” has slightly lessened in its intensity of upsetting emotions. The picture frames’ rate of showing unfavourable memories has decreased. Patton has not cried yet today. The Dark Sides, Remus and Janus, seem to be keeping on the “down-low”. Thomas has not had any intrusive dreams in many days. Virgil has been too preoccupied in keeping tabs on Patton to give him anxiety over much. Thomas’ motivation has gone down. His restlessness has gone up. Roman’s unconscious contributions to Thomas’ everyday life have gone down significantly. Thomas has stopped daydreaming. He has stopped thinking about the future, what he has to do tomorrow. He is becoming forgetful and apathetic. As the logical side, there is only so much I can do to keep Thomas in working order without help from the others, that much I can admit. I have put off trying to help Roman in case things only become worse, but the stakes are too high at this point. Action must be taken. I will record the results of this 1st attempt later.

Logan steeled himself, books tucked under his arm. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

Around nine at night, he wrote down the results. Roman had been unresponsive to polite requests for entry, knocking, attempts to start a conversation, small-talk, even a referencing desire to build a snowman. He had not responded to propositions of reading from plays or poetry, or any of his favourite literature. In summary, it was almost like speaking to a “brick-wall” (almost, because the door to Roman’s room was made of mahogany).

“Really? Things must be bad,” was Virgil’s response as Logan recounted the events to him later that evening. It was late, almost time for Logan to get some shut-eye after organizing Thomas’ duties for tomorrow. Logan had entered the kitchen hoping that Thomas would get a good night’s sleep so he could have the highest level of productivity the next day, but judging by the Monster Energy drink resting in Virgil’s hands he supposed that was not the case.

“It is certainly concerning. I tried… if not everything, at least a substantial amount of options.”

“Yeah, and if Roman doesn’t answer to a Disney reference… I’m worried about him. Do you want... me to try?” he said, fidgeting. Logan realized he looked uncomfortable with the idea. Virgil must felt a little guilty for not showing up at all during the argument.

“No, I believe that more attempts should be made. To wear him down, in a way. I’m planning to try again tomorrow.”

“Same Bat Time, same Bat Place?”

“An interesting way of putting it, but that’s the idea.” Logan rubbed his eyes and began making a list of all his tasks once he returned to his room.

“Alright. I’m gonna go see Thomas.” Virgil said, getting ready to sink out.

“I assumed you were. And Virgil?”

He popped back up. “Yeah?”

“Please at least try to motivate him a bit, if through fear? I don’t want to deal with a gloomy, unproductive Thomas tomorrow.”

“You got it. I won’t screw him up too much. ‘Night, Lo.”

“Good-night, Virgil.” He was alone.

“Roman?” Logan knocked once more. “Roman, would you be open to company? I wish to speak with you.”

Nothing. He sighed, pushing his journal farther into his pants pocket. He decided to come with substantially less things this time around. To come as he is.

“I’m not entertaining visitors or guests at the present. Please come back another time, thank you,” came a weak and muffled response.

The sound of Roman’s voice gave Logan an ache in his heart which he didn’t want to name. He ignored it, for the moment.

“I just want to speak with you. You’ve been decidedly quiet these past few weeks. Your input, both in-person and in Thomas’ subconscious has dropped a considerable amount. As far as I am aware you have not made your presence known to me or any of the other sides in over two weeks.”

Silence was his response. Facts were getting Logan nowhere. Logan sighed, struggling with himself. Did he tell Roman what he thought in simple terms, what he was trying to say through his data? How could he bare himself to Roman’s listening ears, let himself be known?

“In all honesty, Roman, I’m- I’m…” He took a breath. “I’m worried about you.” He said this in a rush, letting it all out in one breath. Like a Band-aid, as Virgil had stated. The silence that still followed both frightened him and spurred him on.

“Roman, I- I haven’t spoken to you in weeks. I’m afraid of what will happen if you stay isolated for much longer. You’re a necessary part of Thomas’ life, for me to have things to maintain and keep in order. But more than that, more than duties of mine, I mis- I’m… finding your absence upsetting.”

Logan faintly realised his hands had begun to shake, and he clenched them.

“You… mean a lot to m- the Mindscape, to Patton, to Virgil… to everyone. No one means you harm. We need your input on discussions, and revel in your ideas and thoughts. We... miss you.”

Just gotta rip it off.

“I- I miss you, Roman.” Logan shut his eyes, forcing out the idea that he had become emotional enough to begin producing tears. Logic does not cry. “We bicker sometimes and both of us are wrong on occasion, but I would rather have arguments with you than nothing without.”

“Seeing your vibrance and excitement in brainstorming, your happiness in Disney movies and romances, watching your brilliance when creating plays and stories and… being you, I- I find myself… swept up- metaphorically, of course- in every emotion you give off when you’re around me. Seeing you productive and happy gives me more of a reason to work to the best of my ability.”

“It’s… it would be difficult for me to ever say these things in the hearing of the other sides, but… I miss the feelings you bring me when you are around. It is something greater than a job well done, Crofters, or puzzles and murder mysteries being solved.”

“The emotions I feel when you are around are something more than a simple pleasure in watching, in the aesthetical enjoyment of seeing things fall into place. When I’m with you, I feel… spurred into action.”

“Roman, I- I can’t… I can’t bear your absence any longer. I’m worried about you, but more than that, I’m worried that should you keep to yourself, I’ll never… I- I won’t…” Logan swept aside a few tears that had run down his face. His throat ached so much that he feared he wouldn’t be able to get any more words out. The words he spoke next came out in a hoarse whisper.

“Without you I’m afraid I’ll never feel anything again.”

A shuddered gasp tore itself from Logan’s throat as he took his first proper breath in a few minutes. Tears slicked their way down his face freely now. This was, Logan supposed, because such a long drought of emotion had rendered him virtually unable to control any that did overcome him.

“However,” Logan began once more after a few more minutes of silence, his voice quieter now. If anyone else had heard it, they might have said he sounded ashamed. “Should you wish to remain alone for… whatever period of time, I won’t stop you. Asking you to open your door for my sake is extremely selfish of me. I’m… I’m sorry, Roman.”

Logan took one more breath before turning around to leave. He had no idea what the effects of his speech would be, and that scared him. He was in an entirely new territory. This was an unprecedented event, with no similar experiences to compare it to. He had ‘boldly gone where no man had gone before’, so to say.

Logan was so wrapped in his own panic, for that is what it was, he almost missed the imperceptible click of Roman’s door opening as he walked away. Every muscle in Logan’s body tensed, and he prepared for angry words and scathing insults. Logan would face it, however. He turned around, and was met with a sight for some very sore eyes.

Roman held open his door an infinitesimal amount, peering through the crack. Through the small open space Logan could see the prince out of his usual outfit, the beautiful swath of his hair, and one very tearful eye. Logan opened his mouth without knowing what would come out, but the air was knocked out of him.

Roman flung the door open wide and his socked feet ate up the steps between them as he flung his arms around Logan, the force of his embrace almost tipping Logan over. An embarrassing ‘oof’ escaped him at the impact and his hands went up to grip the back of Roman’s jumper after only a second of hesitation.

Logan’s mind filled incredibly fast with all sorts of information: the scent of Roman’s hair, the warmth of his body, how Roman buried his head in Logan’s neck and the slight wetness that came from tears. The way Roman’s nose jutted into his neck, the almost imperceptible touch of Roman’s lips on his shirt collar. Logan’s body betrayed him in an audible catch of his breath as Roman clung to him harder.

“Roman, I-” Logan began in a faint whisper, but Roman only shushed him and tightened his grip, rocking them from side to side ever so slightly.

They stayed like that for Galileo knows how long when the prince peeled himself from Logan. Roman looked upon Logan with eyes so bright from unshed tears Logan would have believed there were stars in them.

“You never said anything. Not a word.”

Their conversation was as hushed as could be, the Mindscape and the world beyond it ceasing to exist and zooming in on the two of them, in this moment.

“I’m not good with words. When it comes to talking about feelings, I mean. You know this.”

“Don’t lie, Specs. That was one of the most eloquent and beautiful things I’ve ever heard.”

Logan scrambled to find a breath within him as Roman smiled up at him. For one of the few times in his life, he found himself with nothing to say.

“It was moving, and heartfelt-” Roman continued, taking Logan’s hand and stepping back, towards his room. He paused in his motions and looked at Logan once more.

“-and it was incredibly romantic.” He said softly.

“I’m- I’m glad.” came Logan’s strangled reply. Roman smiled at him again and led him into his room. There they would sit and talk for hours, and Logan would hold Roman to his chest. They would confess to things bothering them and their hopes, dreams, and fears for the future. It would grow late, and Logan would give in and begin to card his hands through Roman’s hair as the prince drifted off to sleep.

There, in the black-blue of the sky of Roman’s window, scattered with stars and the slanting rays of the moon, Logan would look down upon the prince’s sleeping head and realize, though he had first doubted his abilities, he had been enough. Enough for Roman and for himself. He had been enough.

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Taglist:

@count-woe-laf @psychedelicships

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