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artist-emerald · 2 months

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Trollstopia: I Never Stopped (Trollsona x Canon Fic)

Trollstopia, midday, another harmonious day for all the Trolls. A day filled with singing, dancing, and hugging. Queen Poppy was doing her rounds, making sure everyone was doing okay before she met up with her friends for Girls' Night. As she was finishing up, she noticed Branch carrying a bunch of supplies back to his bunker. She happily skipped over to him to see what he was up to. "Hey you, watcha up to?" Poppy said cheerily. "Oh, hey Poppy. Just some stuff to keep some of my bros busy while they're visiting." Branch said, gesturing to the wagon full of activities.

Poppy and Branch chatted for a bit before being interrupted by the sound of an accordion. They looked around, searching for the source of the noise. Then, from the brush, appeared a country western troll dressed in gray overalls, and a large white hat cowboy hat with an arrow through it. His skin was a light, pastel green, and his hair was a bright golden blonde, large and sticking out the back and sides of his hat. In his hands he held a chocolate colored accordion, the unique sounds being played from it.

When the troll looked up form his playing, he stopped in his tracks. His ears perked up and his eyes shifted between Poppy and Branch. "Howdy! This wouldn't happen to be Trollstopia, would it?" the troll asked in a friendly tone.

"Why yes, yes it is! Welcome! I'm Poppy, queen of the pop trolls. This is my boyfriend, Branch." Poppy was very excited meeting a new troll, even more so since he was looking for Trollstopia. "Well ain't that just powdered sugar on a deep fried donut! My name's-" but before the troll could finish he was cut off by the excited cheer of another troll.

"Yeeeeeeehaw! Emerald Waters, is that you!?" country western troll, Holly Darlin, called out excitedly from behind Branch and Poppy. "Holly Darlin!? Shoot, I didn't know you were here!" the troll, now revealed to be named Emerald Waters, quickly stuffed his instrument into his hair and rushed over to Holly and greeted her with a tight hug, picking her up and swinging her around.

"I'm sorry for interrupting, ya'll, but I heard the sound of an accordion and I just had to check it out! Poppy, Branch, this is a dear friend of mine from Lonesome Flats, Emerald Waters!" Holly said excitedly, her legs doing a small jog in place. Emerald blushed as Holly talked about him. "It sure is great to meet ya'll. And I'm pleased as punch to see you again Holly!" Emerald said.

"Holly, how come you never told me!?" Poppy asked. "I guess it never came up? A lot's happened since I moved here, sugar, and I haven't been able to yell ya my whole life story." Holly said. "Buuuut, Emerald's a friend of mine who's been traveling for a while. I used to get his letters from his travels every now and then, but since I moved we must have lost contact."

"Well any friend of Holly's is a friend of ours. It's always nice to meet another country western troll." Branch said, extending his hand for a handshake. Emerald's face winced, "Well actually, I'm not technically a country western troll. I'm actually a parody troll!" Emerald shook Branch's hand, and then Poppy's. Branch and Poppy looked at each other confused, and then back at the other trolls.

"I can see that, that's a new concept to you. Allow me to explain! I specialize in changing lyrics to existing songs, or putting different songs to together into one big melody to the sweet sound of polka!" Emerald explained with a big smile on his face. "Oh! Well in that case, I, Queen Poppy, welcome our first parody troll to Trollstopia!" Poppy exclaimed.

"We'll have to throw you a welcome party and do a tour tomorrow, but you've gotta be tired, sugar." Holly said rubbing her hands together. Poppy and Branch glanced at each other briefly as they noticed how Holly and Emerald acted around each other. "I will admit, I am a bit beat." Emerald said as he stretched out his back. "I'll take you back to Country Corral, so we can get you a place to rest! Later ya'll! I'll see you at Girls' Night, Poppy! Oh, everyone's gonna be excited to see you again!" Holly said as she led Emerald back to Country Corral where the other country trolls lived.

Poppy and Branch waved as they watched them leave. "Hey Poppy?" Branch began to ask, "I get the feeling that those two have a lot more going on than just being friends." Poppy held Branch's hand, "I think so too, heart. Quick couple's scrapbooking session theorizing about?" Poppy said, giving Branch a sly look. Branch nodded excitedly as they rushed off.

Hours passed, and the girls met up at Poppy's for Girls' Night. They were swapping gossip, braiding hair, scarfing down snacks, and just enjoying each other's company. They had noticed, however, that Holly was a lot more cheerful and bubbly than usual. "Wow Holly, you seem pretty tonight. Anything interesting happen today?" Smidge asked. "Oh didn't you hear? An old friend of Holly's from Lonesome Flats came into town today." Poppy chimed in, a tight grin on her face.

After hearing that, the girls stopped what they were doing in hopes to hear more about it. Holly told them about what happened earlier that day, and how excited and happy the other country trolls were when she brought Emerald back with her. "He must be a pretty special friend for you to be so happy to see him." Val teased. Holly's face turned red, "whaaaat? I don't know what you're talking about." Holly laughed nervously as she fidgeted her fingers around.

The other girls kept giving her eager faces of varying degree, wanting to get some kind of answer from their friend. Holly sighed in defeat, "okay okay. We used to date." The girls' jaws dropped, "he's your ex-boyfriend!?" they shouted. "Yeah. We used to date back home, but when he decided to leave to pursue his dream of being a parody troll, we broke up. But we still stayed friends, and I'd get letters from him every now and then, talking about his adventures." Holly's words seemed to bittersweet, and her smile started to fade.

"But?" Poppy asked. "I...I still have feelings for him, but I'm so scared of hurting our friendship that I don't have the courage to say anything. He's just so cute, sweet, and he really knows how to make a troll feel special." Holly stroked her hair as she reminisced. Her friends all looked at each other with a bit of worry.

"He said he'd be staying for a few days before leaving again. And I know those looks you have on ya'll's faces. Don't you be trying anything while he's here!" Holly scorned. The girls promising not try any sort of convoluted plan to try and get her and Emerald back together.

The days went by, and Emerald Waters was introduced to the other trolls and their cultures while they got to meet and learn more about him and his ways as a parody troll. He was master on his accordion, and really brought out the joy and whimsy to a party. Then the trolls learned that, even though Emerald is great at parties and in large crowds, if he's left alone with any single troll, he gets incredibly anxious.

The country trolls explained he got lost in a mine when he was younger and found a monster that disguised itself as a troll. Since then, he gets anxious and scared when being left one on one with other trolls. And then there were the cute, but awkward situations between him and Holly. At a glance one would assume they'd been friends forever, but whenever they got too close or a bit too affectionate, they'd get all shy and pull away from each other.

On the final day of Emerald's visit, Branch got a confession from Emerald that he still had feelings for Holly too. That leaving her behind at Lonesome Flats was one of the hardest things he had ever done. Traveling by himself was difficult, but thinking about Holly and writing her letters put him at ease. While he wrote and played such happy music for others, when he was alone he'd play some of the saddest songs you'd ever hear.

One thing led to another, and Branch told Poppy, who tried to tell Holly. Holly, on the other hand, was having a hard time believing her. "Holly please, just listen!" Poppy pleaded. "I thought I told ya'll to butt out of our business. When he left, he told me that he couldn't see us anything more than friends! That he had to leave to find his calling, but that I would always be his best friend! I went home that day and cried my little eyes out, my heart broken. The most important troll in the world to me, only wanting to be my friend. I will not go through that again!" Holly's voice cracked, her face turned red, and her eyes welled up.

Poppy gave her a hug to console her. "I won't force you, but if he leaves now, who knows when you might see each other again. I don't want to see you wind up regretting this in the future." Poppy left to meet with Branch, who tried to convince Emerald to try the same thing, but to no avail.

The day went on normally, albeit with a bit more awkward tension between Emerald and Holly. They barely spoke, they'd stare longingly at each other but look away if the other looked, and they weren't as energetic as they were at the beginning.

Then the time came for Emerald to leave. He stood in front of her at the entrance to Country Corral. "Well, I guess this is it." Emerald said shyly. "Yeah, I guess it is." Holly replied, her hands fidgeting behind her back. "Promise you'll write?" she asked with a blush. "Cross my heart, dust in my eye, till the wind takes my hat and makes it fly." Emerald said without skipping a beat, staring into Holly's eyes.

They embraced in one final hug, and Emerald turned to leave. Holly watched as left, her feelings churning inside her, a knot forming in the pit of her stomach, and a pain encroaching on her heart. She couldn't do it, she couldn't let him get away again.

"EMERALD WATERS, YOU STOP RIGHT THERE!" Holly yelled in protest. Emerald stopping in surprise and turning around, face red. Holly ran towards him and grabbed him by his overalls. "I still love you, you goofy man! I never stopped! I never stopped thinkin' bout you, and I don't want you to go!"

He was speechless, his face red, and his heart racing. He looked down at the orange country troll, tears forming in her eyes, and lower lip quivering. He placed his hands over her's, "I never stopped thinking about you either, Holly. Truth is, I never stopped loving you either. I just...didn't think I'd make a good boyfriend for you, what with my anxiety troubles."

She smiled, reaching up to the brim of his hat, grabbing it, and pulling it down. She pulled his hat down revealing an enormous mass of hair, bigger than her's. "That doesn't matter to me, it never did! I love you because you're kind, sweet, considerate, and seeing that smile on your face makes my heart flutter something fierce. Don't push me away this time. Let me help you through them hard times." Holly said assuredly.

All the other trolls watched in anticipation, some of them holding their breath. Emerald began to chuckle, which turned into a laugh as he picked up Holly Darlin and swung her around in a warm embrace. "Well dang, Holly, now I just feel all silly." Emerald said as tears fell over the smile on his face. "After that, I ain't going nowhere!"

Holly jumped and cheered in excitement before pulling Emerald in for kiss. The spectating trolls cheered and applauded, happy for the two love-trolls. Holly and Emerald went off, hand-in-hand, to spend their time together, as a reunited couple.

One, that never stopped loving each other.

#trolls #dreamworks trolls #fic #trolls fanfic #oc x canon #holly darlin #trollsona #my oc #trolls oc #trolls poppy #trolls branch #trolls holly darlin #broppy #implied broppy #romance #emerald waters

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imptwins · 1 year

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Upcoming Teasers!

Thought I’d give y’all a bit of a preview of upcoming stories from me. And you get longer ones than on Twitter, how exciting.

The Gift that Keeps On Giving This will hopefully be done by the weekend, since it’s meant to be for a weekend writing event lol. If not maybe I’ll do half now half later. It’s based on the theme of ‘gift giving’ so it’s a Krusielle-focused smut-comedy story involving Christmas dinner, stealthy sex toys, family hi-jinx, and a few mixed signals.

The Bad Kind of Scary “Noelle has finally admitted her immense crush on the new girl and is working up the nerve to actually ask her out. But Noelle is a Holiday. Her mother is the cut-throat fiscally conservative mayor, her father the man who knew how and where to apply pressure to both get and keep that seat for her, and she's inheriting their privilege but not the acumen that they used to seize it. She's a straight-A student who is used to people bending over for her because everyone local knows she's destined for something greater, a shoe-in for politics, maybe even the kind to outgrow her little town. She hasn't really processed just how 'kill or be killed' the world can be.

It’s fun to have fluffy fantasies about an abrasive bully with a hidden heart of gold ready to bloom at the first show of kindness, a misled soul who just needs to be saved by a noble heart. But it’s not exactly realistic. Noelle's about to learn that the hard way.“

A dead dove Suselle fic mostly focusing on noncon and drugging. The concept started with that ‘The Newest Girl’ blog post and I’m sprinting for the fences with the idea of Noelle trying to ‘fix’ Susie and biting off way more than she can chew. It’s about 50% done so far and honestly features what I think is some of my best-ever work, I’m already incredibly proud of it on a pure writing level. The imagery is kind of awesome and is a microcosm of all the lessons I’ve been trying to learn over the last year.

Under the Ice “A hound can be trained to hunt monsters in the stead of men, and no stains will find your skin. But as you file their teeth to knives and whisper on the tenderness of flesh, as you instruct that copper is a fine wine until life dripping from hot to cold down their chin is just as intoxicating, know that they will never hunger for any throat as they do yours.

For all of the horror, for all of the self-loathing, Kris at least had the guilty comfort that hosting the Soul made them relatively safe. How wrong they are. The Soul taught Noelle to grow stronger, to take what she wants, and now she has decided exactly what that is.”

Dead dove Kriselle fic, featuring noncon and like... Identity tragedy? It’s kind of a weird take on abuse cycles given the supernatural puppeteer element, as well as a little bit of venting about how bored I am of every Snowgrave smut fic being the same.

Echoes in the Distance The fic previously known as Zetarune. Once I’m done with the above this will be getting a huge from-the-top edit spree including a rename because I don’t like its current one. Chapter 1 will also be almost entirely removed though still available separately ‘cus I think it detracts from the narrative and my reasons for having it there were mostly insecurity. The rest of the story will be tightened up, especially lore wise, a couple retcons here and there, and hopefully I can impart a lot of the lessons I’ve recently learned to just up the general quality.

Once I actually pick it back up please look forward to me finally breaking the months-long-at-this-point cliffhanger of what happens when the Bunker is opened. You’ll get to see what I’ve been planning for over a year. =)

Castaway Angels “Ten years ago the Underground opened, the world found out about the existence of monsters and their forgotten history, and even at that young age you knew you couldn't stay away. Lured by the promise of a kinder and fairer society - and perhaps a mildly insensitive fascination - you realize your dream when you secure an enrolment in one of their colleges, sell everything you own, and jump on a boat. You arrive in Ebott City with a wreck of a car you bought in the port town, and little more than the clothes on your back.

But the monsters’ capital city is no paradise. Not for a human. With past generosities betrayed, the seeds of mistrust have long since been sown and outright hostility simmers just under the surface. There's so much in the culture and history and behind-the-curtain dealings that you just don't know. But you really hope you're a fast learner, because it turns out your roommate is a devastatingly hot resurrected Prince Emeritus turned fuckboy slash red flag incarnate and holy shit you are in so over your head.”

A collaboration between myself and Kimberly EAB. 2nd-person POV, Reader x Asriel, post-Undertale, slow-burn dead dove (now there’s a combo you don’t see too often huh?). Biggest kinks/themes on display will be dubcon, pain play, substance abuse/addiction, possessiveness, messed up power dynamics, my usual brand of hyperqueer xenophilia, and just a general case of I Can Fix Him syndrome.

#deltaruined #fanfiction #smut #castawayangels #echoesinthedistance #impfics

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7bamboosrugby-blog · 2 years

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Are you having a laugh? How to make coaching more fun?

Coaching is 90% attitude and 10% technique. (Unknown)

Imagine yourself back a few years (maybe even more, depending on your age) and try to recall your PE classes. How much fun were they? Did you love them or loathe them? Were you looking forward to PE or were you even frightened to take part?

Coaching is 90% attitude and 10% technique. (Unknown)

Everyone has probably slightly different memories of PE in school, and while for many sports were a welcoming alternative to an hour of maths or history, a lot would argue it wasn’t “pure fun”.

Now think about club sports. In a lot of clubs, the coaching is often "serious" business, and the focus is on the improvement of technical aspects:

The right way to hold the racket in tennis, pass the ball in rugby or shoot in basketball.

While you can spend a lot of time on the little, tiny technical details, it's not that much fun, and worst of all we forget that it's a game.

So why not just “play the actual game” in training and emphasise “fun”?

Game and Learner first!

I studied sports coaching on a bachelor's and master’s level, and we had to study a lot of different coaching concepts. But one theory struck out most during my Uni-years: “Teaching Games for Understanding” (also called Game Sense).

The concept was first developed by Thorpe, Bunker & Almond in 1986.

The idea is simple: The whole session is based on games and the “learner”. The coach's role is to ask questions instead of shouting orders and instructions.

In simple terms, if the “game” which was often just the highlight at the end of the session becomes suddenly the central element, your session could be a lot more enjoyable.

But let’s dig a bit deeper and have a look at why this approach is so promising:

The diagram shows in a few steps the theory behind TGFU.

The very basic root of the idea is, to begin with, a game that is modified around the needs of the learner.

Follow the model around anti-clockwise and you’ll see that the athlete will start to develop very vital skills by asking themselves important questions.

Because the game is much more appreciated than just an isolated drill, tactical awareness will be developed following making valuable decisions.

Here is where the coach steps in and asks questions. Questions about those decisions that were made.

Questions like, what are you doing? When will you do it? How do you do that?

Reaching this point, the session becomes more skills focussed, because now the player together with the coach are investigating what skills are required to succeed in the game.

Importantly, the coach asks those questions after the players appreciate why those skills are important to develop.

As the coach and learner worked together to analyse these elements and figure out a plan on how to perform better, as a result, the learner goes back into the game and performs better.

TGFU is a great concept to make your sessions more engaging, exciting, and above all more enjoyable.

Especially when you are working in amateur sports and you are very limited in time spent on the training field, this concept can get the most out of your players during the session.

Here are some other top tips to ensure that your players have a big smile on their faces next time you run the training.

Mix it up!

Chelsea coach Thomas Tuchel explained once in a presentation, that during his first role as a young coach of German Bundesliga club Mainz 05 they never had one session which was the same.

In each training, the coaches changed the size of the field, the size of the goal, the number of players on each side, and so on. This way the players had to constantly adapt to new situations and the training remained exciting.

Think about introducing round balls in rugby, play footy with rugby balls, or netball with tennis balls. The possibilities are endless, and your players will appreciate the changes.

Swap the coach

As a coach, I love to see my players taking responsibility and taking over the coaching role. Don’t get me wrong, a coach is essential and should be present, but at the end of the day, it’s the players on the pitch that need to win the game.

If they are able to step into the role of the coach, your players will become much more capable of leading the team.

Work with Coach Challenge Cards

Developed by the Magic Academy (led by Russel Earnshaw and John Fletcher), the Coach Challenge Cards are an amazing tool to make your practice a lot more engaging and fun.

The cards are divided into three categories: Before training, training, after training, game and Prime Time.

Once you selected the appropriate category pick one of the 132 cards and read the instructions out. We’ve trialed the Coach Challenge Cards before in our own sessions with the Bamboos and they are brilliant.

You can order your pack here.

Introduce external experts

People love learning new things and sometimes the most refreshing way to shake up learning is by welcoming experts from other fields.

This could be a coach from a different sport or even a professional from a completely different industry.

For example, a rowing session might be a great way to re-learn how to work as a team, or a CEO of a company could come around and talk about leadership.

Multi-disciplinary learning is a very popular way to engage students of all kinds and find new ways of skill development.

Work with video

Recording your training can be one of the most powerful ways to improve performance. You wouldn’t believe how many different things you see on the screen which you haven’t noticed while on the pitch.

Thanks to smartphones with outstanding video quality features filming the sessions these days is easy and convenient. Try it out and see how the quality of training and games will change.

Conclusion

Modern sport is often associated with a lot of seriousness, and we easily tend to forget that we all initially started playing sports for the love of the game.

To maintain this love and passion coaches should constantly review and reflect on their concepts and methods to ensure that players are still enjoying what they do.

No matter if you coach a world-class professional team or just an under-8s at your local rugby club, think about if your sessions are enjoyable and engaging.

Are you players smiling and having fun? Do they love what they do? Do they want to be there?

All these are important questions that should form the foundation of each coaching philosophy.

Never be afraid to shake things up by using concepts such as “Teaching Games for Understanding”, changing the way of the training structure, swapping the coach, introducing external experts, and working with challenge cards or video recording.

All these are little but very efficient steps to ensure your team is taking the next step to becoming a winning unit.

For more reading on this topic we recommend:

Myths of Sport Coaching by Amy Whitehead & Jenny Coe

Games for rugby training: Using touch rugby as the ultimate game-sense tool to teach rugby skills and decision making while having fun by Dan Cottrell

#tgfu #coaching #coachingwithfun #gamesense #learner

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tripthelight-fanfic · 2 years

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Under the Dock (Danny Wagner Fluff)

Taglist: @flowervanfleet @weightofdreams-gvf @sierraahhhh @jakekiszska @amourleger @theweightofstardust @samkiszkabreakmyback @prettyintopeerpressure @greta-flanveet @fosterkidwiththebrokenjaw @the-chaotic-cow @ghostly-luck @mywaysooon @tlexx @screechesincoherently @garagebandvanfleet @gretavanhoney @stardustdanny @joshysgf @cowboysamkiszka and potentially you, just lmk!

Request: Your tags on a Danny picture said “hot camp counselor vibes” AND I AM BEGGING FOR THAT FIC. PLEASE. He’s sweet and funny kinda hunky guy everyone likes. With campfire talks and skinny dipping 😩✋

(A/N): Had to celebrate my new icon with some Danny fluff. Okay, this is a request I got back in December based off some tags I left on this picture of Danny. I put off writing it until now because I wasn’t sure how completely out-of-season I wanted to go. But I’m impatient and tired of waiting, plus I know a couple other writers have camp counselor ideas so I figured I’d get this one out ASAP so that we all don’t accidentally write about the same camp-like things. However, I absolutely DO NOT own the concept of the boys as camp counselors so even if there are similarities I won’t be mad. Who ever read a fanfiction and thought to themselves “wow that was awesome I hope nobody has ever written anything else remotely like this?” Like, when I read a cool trope I like I immediately look for other writer’s interpretation of said trope.

This is a request I’ve been particularly excited about because I actually worked as a camp counselor at a Girl Scout day camp in high school. Not only that, I frequented several sleepaway summer camps as a child. So this is a vibe I am absolutely familiar with and excited to share this cold January evening.

I hope you enjoy!

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Under the Dock

It was your third summer working at Camp Huntington. You had attended the sleepaway camp as a child and couldn’t resist the stable seasonal employment when you went off to college and found yourself needing to make money on your breaks.

Camp Huntington is a youth summer camp on one of the Finger Lakes in Upstate New York. Every July, it housed hundreds of children and preteens along with several dozen counselors. Including yourself. And him.

Danny Wagner was indisputably the kids favorite counselor. There was always one, and everyone knew. And since he started here last summer, he basically had all the kids at his beck and call. The little girls all had adorable crushes on him, and the little boys thought he was the coolest guy they’d ever seen. Either way, he constantly had children eager to please and impress him.

And honestly, he deserved it. Even outside of the kids attention, when other counselors would take breaks to moan and gripe about their little assholes of the day, Danny had nothing but cheery disposition and positivity to relay about his kids. And why wouldn’t he? They would never give him a hard time.

That first summer, you two hardly even talked. You didn’t really get to know him. But all the little girls in your cabin certainly made sure you knew who this tall man with the pretty hair was. Occasionally, he would come staggering up to you with two of your campers dangling from his biceps, only to plant them on the ground in front of you with a smile, “I believe these belong to you.” Or during his famous campfire sing-a-longs with his friend Sam and their two guitars, you would occasionally find him glancing over at you from across the fire, admiring the way you softly stroked the head of the younger camper sleeping with her head resting on your thigh.

This summer, however, has been different. Even the kids can tell.

You showed up to counselor orientation a few days before camp was set to start. There were hardly any new counselors this summer for TJ (the head counselor) to train, so pretty soon you and everybody else were busy hauling cheap bunker mattresses into the dusty old cabins on the other side of the grounds.

You and a few of the other counselors were tending to this one particularly musty cabin when you heard a squeak and felt something scurry across your sneakers. All three of you turned to look at each other before screaming and running out of the cabin, shaking your limbs to try and rid yourselves of the icky feeling.

As you kept backing up, your back collided with something solid. You turned around and suddenly found yourself nose to nose with Danny. “What happened?” His eyes were slightly widened with concern, and you tried not to chuckle at how ridiculous you were about to sound.

“There’s, uh, either the world’s biggest mouse or the world’s smallest rat living in that cabin. Just ran right across my foot.” You shuddered again at the thought, only to freeze when Danny placed his hand on your shoulder.

“Ok. I’m on it.” He patted you a few times with a determined look and a sly grin on his face, before bounding over into the cabin, exaggeratedly whipping the flashlight keychain from his pocket like a gun from a holster as he disappeared into the darkness.

Your fellow counselors appeared next to you, “What was that about?” One asked, wiggling her eyebrows.

You fought the blush heading toward your cheeks. “What? He’s just being nice.”

From inside the cabin, you hear a muffled, “Oh SHIT, you weren’t kidding!”

It was at this moment you remembered that Danny walked in there empty-handed. You couldn’t help but yell back, “What’s your plan here? Pick it up with your bare hands?”

You and the other counselors chuckled at the idea, but were all knocked into stunned silence when Danny emerged moments later shirtless, holding his shirt like a sack in his left hand. He smirked over at you.

“C’mon now, Y/N. Have a little more faith in me.” He jeered teasingly as he brushed past you. You couldn’t resist turning around to watch him leave, eyes tracing over the toned muscles on his back.

You were brought back to reality by one of the other counselors nudging you, “Hey. Let’s get back to work before you flood the place with your drool.” You rolled your eyes and playfully shoved her back before returning into your cabin.

After a few days of passing flirtations over the course of orientation, it was finally the first day of camp. Excited campers were flooding in from the entrance gates with bags and parents in tow. You and all the other counselors were ready on standby as you guided individual campers and their families to the cabin where they would be spending their month. You watched as they said their goodbyes, some more emotional than others, and you thought back wistfully to your own time as a camper.

This place had been your home away from home. As a child whose parents both worked full time and could never take off for your summer break, this camp was a welcome relief from being tossed back and forth between aunts and uncles or really whoever else was free to watch you. You knew the grounds like the back of your hand, and you had really come to love being a part of creating those same core memories for the children in front of you.

Even though you knew perfectly well that little kids can be an absolute nightmare sometimes.

There was one time in particular, about a week or so into the season, when everybody was supposed to be leading their assigned group of campers in an outdoor cookout at one of the many camp grills stationed around the grounds. You were supplied with charcoal and lighters and the ingredients for whatever meal your group decided they wanted to make.

The way Camp Huntington operated was such that you had a new group of campers every week, and this week you had been blessed with the opportunity to take care of the youngest group. They had picked an easy enough meal, just hamburgers and corn on the cob, but when you struggled to get the charcoal lit, all hell broke loose. Children were screaming and wailing over their grumbling tummies, getting antsy and trying to run off to do something else while you slaved over their meal in vain. Finally, you turned to your co-counselor and declared that you were going into the stock shed to find some newspaper to kindle the flame. They agreed to hold down the fort, understanding your absence was for the greater good as they continued trying to corral in the feisty 7 year-olds.

As you started walking toward the shed, tears pricked against your eyes. It was all so overwhelming. You were disappointed in yourself for not being able to provide fire for your campers, and for holding up their meal. But kids this little don’t really have much empathy yet, so they couldn’t possibly understand how their screams and groans were chipping away at you. By the time you got to the shed, you had given up on wiping away your tears and instead just pressed your forehead against the warm tin exterior and let out a long shaky breath.

You jumped when the door flung open and... oh of course it has to be him. Danny walked out with a jug of lighter fluid, whistling a happy-go-lucky tune you didn’t recognize. He looked perfect as ever, in a camp shirt he cut the sleeves off of and his long hair pulled up into a messy bun on top of his head. However, his face fell and he quickly placed the jug on the ground when he took in your state. “Oh, Y/N, what happened?”

He didn’t waste a second before pulling you against his slightly-sweaty chest, arms wrapping tightly around you and rubbing soothingly against your back.

“Kids are assholes.” You mumbled, sniffling. You could feel Danny’s chest shake a bit with laughter as you felt some of the stress leave your body. “I can’t get this charcoal to light for my goddamn life and these kids are losing their minds. And I know it’s just because they’re hungry but it’s so overwhelming and I should be able to do this if I’m a decent counselor and I don’t know why-”

Danny pulled back a bit to place a finger over your lips. As his face meets yours again, he stifles a chuckle before speaking. “First of all, you are an amazing counselor. Your kids love you even if it doesn’t seem that way all the time. Second of all, I just got note from TJ that half of the charcoal they got today isn’t instant-light. You probably got the kind that needs the lighter fluid I’m getting now.”

You let out a breath at Danny’s words, relaxing at the logical explanation for your incompetence. But Danny hasn’t let you go yet. He reaches up to wipe the wetness from your cheeks. “And thirdly, you have charcoal dust all over your face right now. Here.” He couldn’t help but free the chuckle he was suppressing as he used his thumbs to wipe your cheeks and forehead clean while you blushed furiously.

“Oh good, so I truly did look like a mess when you found me.” You mumbled as you separated from his body.

Danny shrugged, “Not a mess, just in need of a little help. C’mon, lets get that grill going and those campers fed.” He reached for your hand and you hesitantly took it. He reached down and grabbed the jug of lighter fluid in his other hand and the two of you headed back to your group.

You really should’ve known better than to approach a group of 7 year-olds holding hands with a boy. Much less the boy they were all obsessed with.

As soon as they all saw you approaching with him, the glum and annoyed looks melted right off of their faces as they started bounding toward him. “DANNY!!” they screamed.

He stayed with you until you got your grill ignited at last, relishing in the victorious smile that graced your face, before scratching the back of his head and announcing to the group. “Alright ladies, I’ve got at least four more grills having this same problem across camp so I need to get going. Promise me you’ll be nice and say thank you to your counselors, okay?”

The little girls all nodded aggressively up at Danny, stars in their eyes. He flashed a smile and a quick wink over at you before picking back up his jug and heading down the trail at the end of the field.

It took about two seconds for one of your campers to ask, “Is Danny your boyfriend?”

And pretty soon, seemingly the entire camper population was speculating on yours and Danny’s (nonexistent) relationship.

By the late-afternoon counselor meeting, while all the campers were at the waterfront, Danny was sliding into the empty chair next to yours with a smirk, “So... have you heard we’re dating now?”

You choked on the sip of water you were taking, leaning down to let out a few coughs and feeling his hand gently pat your back a few times. You were really getting tired of immediately humiliating yourself every time you saw him.

Once you’d finally regained your composure, you looked back over at him, “Wow, that was fast. Dating already, huh?”

“Yeah, apparently our romantic stroll from the shed to your grill was enough to convince every camper I’ve seen today. All afternoon I’ve been asked about you.”

You looked down sheepishly at the thought, before lifting your head back up again to meet his eyes, “And?”

Danny shrugged with a small smile, “I don’t know, it’s kinda fun to just humor them. Give super vague answers and let their little minds speculate. Keeps things interesting. Why, you got someone you’re trying to appear single for?”

You, you thought. But obviously that didn’t matter in this situation.

“No,” You responded pointedly, “But you do realize we’re about to get harassed about this all summer and it’s not even true. Plus, what if someone says something to TJ?”

Danny rolled his eyes, “TJ doesn’t care. As long as we’re not literally making out in front of campers he couldn’t care less what they’re talking about.”

You couldn’t keep your mouth from opening slightly in surprise at his words, cheeks flushing. Before you could respond, TJ himself approached the front of the room to begin the meeting and all conversation came to a screeching halt.

A few more days passed and you were starting to see what Danny was talking about. You had campers of all ages approaching you under the guise of starting their boondoggle keychain for them, only to then sit down next to you and interrogate you over your supposed boyfriend. You could only laugh off the comments and, like Danny said, offer vague answers about how he’s a “really nice guy” and a “great counselor.”

It was worse with your cabin. This week, you had girls on the older side of the camp’s age spectrum, topping out at 12. These girls were absolutely determined to catch you and Danny canoodling somewhere. You felt like you always had eyes on you and, since you had naturally been avoiding Danny as a result, you wondered if he was experiencing the same.

You didn’t get a chance to ask until another campfire night. Sam and Danny were winding down the sing-a-long while you had a steady queue of campers waiting in line for you to braid their hair. Your hands were getting tired but you couldn’t bring yourself to say no to their cute little faces.

However, once the s’mores supplies were brought out by TJ, your line seemingly vanished and the girl you were working on urged you to finish up so she could claim her own stick and marshmallow. You laughed as you tied up the braid and helped her up, watching her bound over to the nearby pavilion where all the other campers were.

You were slightly startled to feel someone new sit at your feet, leaning their weight against your legs. You looked down to see Danny looking up at you, head tilted back onto your lap and hair cascading down your legs. “Me next?” He asked with a smile.

You couldn’t help but chuckle as you gently tilted his head forward to begin. “Oh, they’ll get a kick out of this, that’s for sure.” You mumbled, so that only Danny would hear. At this point, the other counselors were in on the speculation too. Seemingly everyone was convinced that something was going on between you two. And honestly, you were starting to consider it too with the way Danny acted around you.

Sure enough, you were about halfway through Danny’s braid when the campers came streaming back to the fire, marshmallows on sticks. You watched them giggle and whisper to themselves as they watched you work dutifully on Danny’s head. Danny beckoned one of his campers over, one of the younger boys, and whispered into his ear. The camper ran back over to the pavilion and returned with another stick and marshmallow, handing it over to Danny.

You smiled as the little boy climbed into his lap and the two roasted their marshmallows together. He really did just have this magic way with kids. With everyone, it seemed. But especially with the campers, it made your heart swell.

By the time both marshmallows were properly toasted, you were tying off the end of his braid. The camper squirmed out of his lap and sprinted off to the pavilion again, while Danny held both of their sticks. You expected him to get up after you were done, but he remained firmly planted on the ground against your legs until the camper returned, with graham crackers and chocolate for two s’mores. You watched as the two of them perfectly crafted their s’mores, the little boy absolutely beaming at the opportunity to do this with Danny. You were so distracted by the scene before you, but you were somehow surprised by Danny taking the s’more he made in his hand and leaning back to meet your eyes again, holding it out for you.

You could hear the campers cooing around the fire as he grinned up at you, “For your services, m’lady.”

You smirked down at him, taking the s’more in your hand and thanking him softly before playfully pushing his head back down toward the fire in attempt to hide your blush. But unfortunately for you, even if he missed it, the dozens of pairs of eyes around the fire most certainly did not.

Things finally came to a head near the end of the month, when it was time for the camp-wide game of counselor manhunt. All of the counselors were instructed to hide throughout the grounds, some in easier places than others, so that once they were found they could assist the kids in helping find the rest.

You were tucked away behind a tree on a trail when a group of 10 year-olds found you, shouting victoriously.

“I bet you know where Danny is too, then!” One exclaimed.

You laughed, “I don’t know where anybody is but lets go look!”

You and your new squad of 10 year-old boys were able to track down a few more counselors before reaching the waterfront. You studied the dock curiously as you took in the muddy footprints leading up to the end of the dock, only to disappear a few feet before the ledge.

You stepped closer to the edge of the dock, humming to yourself curiously. “Well that’s suspicious...” You said out loud, already having an idea of who would be crazy enough to fully jump into the lake for a game of manhunt.

Just when you were about to crouch down and test your theory, you felt something from below push the dock upwards, making you lose your balance and fall right into the lake yourself.

Your 10 year-olds took their time laughing before coming up to see if you were okay, and in that time you were able to emerge from the water and look under the dock to see exactly who you thought you would. The only person who wouldn’t immediately be in for a beating for pulling that stunt. You didn’t have time to glare at him before another voice pulled your attention.

“Are you okay Y/N?!” One of the other counselors you’d found asked, bounding up to the edge of the dock. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Danny press further away from the edge of the dock, clearly trying to preserve his hiding space. But you could feel his eyes on you.

You had a decision to make. Give away Danny’s hiding spot and put up with these little boys not only fawning over him but making fun of you for falling in, or make up an excuse for the group to leave you. Alone with him.

“I’m fine, just slipped I guess. Don’t come too close to the edge.” The other counselor stepped back warily at your instruction. You sighed and ran a hand through your soaked hair. “I’m gonna get out and go get changed. I’ll need new sunscreen after this too. You guys just go on without me, I’ll explain to TJ later but let them all know I’m found.”

The other counselor nodded and turned the group around until everyone was back in the woods as you slowly made your way to the edge of the dock, now mere feet away from Danny. When the coast was fully clear, you didn’t waste a moment to use your hands to splash lakewater into Danny’s face.

“You dick!” You laughed, “What if that wasn’t me? Also who the hell jumps into the lake during manhunt, isn’t that against the rules?”

Danny chuckled back at you and half-heartedly sent another splash your way. “I knew it was you. Also technically, as long as I’m still on the dock it’s not cheating.”

You rolled your eyes, “Oh okay, for sure. I should’ve given you away for that alone.”

Danny moved closer to you. “But you didn’t.”

You opened your mouth to protest, but he got you there. You took a moment in your close proximity to get lost in his eyes. They were different down here under the dock. In the sunlight, his eyes looked like pools of gold. But under the shadows, they looked darker. Deeper. More hypnotic. It was like he was staring right inside of you.

“Well what kind of a camp girlfriend would I be if I ratted you out?” You responded softly, turning down to look at the murky water beneath you when his gaze became too much.

“You know, camp’s almost over. You busy for the rest of the summer?” You saw his hands fiddling with the water, making little ripples on the top.

You shrugged. “I mean, not really. I go back to school at the end of August but until then I kinda set the time aside to enjoy a bit of the summer. Have some fun.” It sounded so lame, you cringed as it came out of your mouth.

But when you looked back up at Danny again, he was also looking down at his fingers in the water. “Well, if you were looking for someone to have fun with, we could always do something together. Go out and make some memories outside this camp before you’re off to the books again.” He smirked down at the water.

Your eyes widened at his words. “You mean like a date?”

Danny turned his head back up to look at you with a smile. That damn smile.

“Yeah, like a date.”

“You wanna take me on a date?”

He knit his brows for a moment before letting out a chuckle. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I? You know I would’ve shut down those dating rumors at the start if they were with someone I wouldn’t actually mind dating. I actually feel like at this point I owe you one.”

You couldn’t help but giggle as you looked back down at the water, cheeks flushing red as you too began to fidget with the water to ease your nerves. “Well you don’t owe me anything. But yeah, I’d like that.”

Danny’s hands slipped back into the water and you had to hold back from jumping when you felt his course fingertips brush against yours, not even visible from the mere inches below the surface where they hovered.

Both of his hands hesitantly interlocked with yours as you turned your head back up to his. You suddenly felt like the two of you were much closer than before. You watched as he licked his lips, staring down at you. “It’s a date, then.”

You smiled up at him, shrugging your shoulders as nonchalantly as you could as you found yourself once again lost in his eyes. “It’s a date.”

There was a brief moment of silence between the two of you, waist deep under the docks, holding hands below the surface, staring into each others eyes.

You watched as his eyes briefly darted down to your lips, which only made yours instinctually dart down to his. You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t been thinking about them for majority of the summer. You almost didn’t even notice him leaning in, until suddenly you were nose to nose. His eyes were still boring into yours, putting the ball in your court as he patiently waited for you to make a move.

You used your hands in his to will him that extra bit forward, guiding his hands behind you as your lips landed onto his. You gently freed your hands from his to bring them up to his jawline as he kissed you tenderly. His hands, in the absence of yours, joined together at the small of your back as his mouth moved softly against yours. You could feel your heart ramming against your chest as you finally relieved the tension that had been building all month long.

Suddenly, you heard voices approaching. Small, squeaky child voices.

And suddenly you remembered exactly where you were.

You pulled back from Danny with wide eyes, opening your mouth to gasp. Before you could, Danny reached his hand up and clamped it over yours.

You both froze in place as you heard little footsteps approach the dock. The only thing that could be heard was the water drifting onto the shore, Danny’s breathing, the creaking of the wood- wait.

Danny was still catching his breath from the kiss. But with no other noise around, this could still give away your precarious position. So, you took it upon yourself to clamp your own hand over his mouth.

He raised his eyebrows at you and you were glad his hand was over your mouth to stifle the laugh that fought to escape you.

Unfortunately all this did was start a chain of you and Danny staring at each other and trying not to laugh.

When you heard the campers finally make their way out, you moved your hand from his mouth and he moved his.

“You really think those kids were looking for the sound of me breathing?” He asked teasingly.

“Oh and me gasping would’ve given us away?” You fired back, laughing through your words.

After a moment you turned to look back out onto the summer day continuing on outside of the dock’s shade. You sighed. “Alright, well I guess I should go get changed. Both of us can’t show up to dinner soaked.”

Danny nodded in agreement, but as you turned around to leave, he caught your arm and pulled you back close to him. You couldn’t help the smile that graced your face before he reached his hand up to cup your cheek and place one more shorter kiss onto your lips.

He pulled back with a small smile of his own. “Couldn’t help myself. I’ve been thinking about this for a while and who knows if we’ll even get another moment before camp’s over.”

You beamed up at him, reaching a hand up to experimentally fiddle with the drenched ends of his raven hair. “Well, there’s always next month.”

You winked at him before back-stepping away, still holding his hand that pulled you back before the distance became too great and the connection broke.

As you emerged from the water and started to wring out your hair and shirt, you couldn’t help the butterflies running rampant in your stomach and the blush you’re sure was coloring your cheeks.

You couldn’t resist turning to look back one last time at the dock, and sure enough you could just barely make out Danny’s head poking out from underneath, watching you leave.

You smiled and turned back around, heading for your cabin feeling a bit like one of your giddy preteenage campers.

Who knew your summer love would find you under the dock?

#I was originally gonna make this a smut but after writing about all these kids I feel weird about it now #maybe one day I'll have the balls to write a full danny smut #homeboy gets me FLUSTERED I just cant bring myself to write about his dick #NOT AROUND THE CHILDREN #also yes this title is a grease reference #danny wagner #danny wagner x reader #danny wagner x y/n #danny wagner fluff #Danny Wagner fan fiction #gvf imagine #danny wagner imagine #gvf fluff #gvf fanfiction

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gureishi · 3 years

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Oh! In that case, could I get headcanons for a trans man saeyoung x reader? Maybe with trans man reader, or gender neutral. SFW and nsfw if you’re comfortable with that!

Absolutely! I really love this headcanon~ I’ve done some SFW and NSFW (the latter is below the cut). Thanks for requesting this!! 💕

Saeyoung as a trans man (SFW)

Saeyoung understands the power of language: call him gendered words and he’s giddy. Refer to him as your boyfriend or your man—to his face or in reference to him? Gender euphoria. Tell him you want him to be your husband one day; you’ll absolutely melt his heart.

Same goes for gendered compliments. Our boy speaks seventeen languages, after all! Use google translate—call him handsome in all seventeen. He’ll be putty in your hands.

As we know, our boy likes to explore his gender expression through clothing; but on a day-to-day basis, due to a combination of his job (and perhaps some dysphoria?) when we meet him, he’s pretty much wearing that same baggy hoodie every day. But that can change!

At first, Saeyoung doesn’t own a whole lot of masculine clothing. There’s not much variety—he doesn’t quite know what he feels comfortable in. Take him shopping and encourage him to try on clothes that feel good to him; before you know it, he’ll have a whole second closet separate from his cosplay closet (look: the bunker has a lot of closets) just full of gender-validating clothing.

A Saeyoung who wears a different outfit every day! Ones that actually make him feel good! The possibilities are endless (and thrilling).

Before he met you, he never had anybody he felt safe talking to about his feelings, or his past—or his gender. Imagine his delight when he brings it up and you listen, and you ask questions, and you have your own thoughts and feelings to share about your own gender. The boy’s never felt close to anyone before—not since he was a kid, with Saeran. How excited he’d be to get to tell you about these things! He’ll talk a mile a minute; but you can keep up, of course. Loving Saeyoung is following him through the complex net of his thoughts—navigating it with him and helping him untangle it when he gets lost.

And speaking of Saeran: listen, Unknown may hate everyone and everything, but he’s not going around misgendering people. Even assuming that Saeyoung came out after the two of them were separated, Unknown knows what’s up—he’s been observing him from afar for years, after all. Even miserable and messed up on elixir, he’ll get it right. And how strange for Saeyoung to see his brother in this state, but to hear him use the correct pronouns. A tiny bit of joy in the midst of all the pain.

The first time Saeran calls Saeyoung his brother is the happiest day of his life.

Saeyoung as a trans man (NSFW)

Continue below the cut for smut ❤️

Saeyoung (whether he’s trans or cis) is nervous about sex, in the beginning. He doesn’t see himself as attractive (this is canon) and he can’t quite wrap his head around why you find him sexy. But he wants to make you feel good—more than anything in the world. In the beginning, he fixates on giving you pleasure (whatever you’re into, he’ll try it—with enthusiasm). God knows he figures out how to use his hands and fingers pretty quickly (I mean, come on). If you’re into toys, he will get you all the toys you could possibly desire, and he will learn how to use them to give you absolutely ecstatic pleasure (when he sets out to do something—he does it perfectly).

But: oh, the first time he finds something that really brings him pleasure.

Maybe it’s a particular way that you touch him; or maybe it’s something about watching you unravel before him that does it for him. Maybe he wears a strap-on for the first time, and is shocked to discover how much pleasure it gives him to fuck you with it.

Whatever it is: the look in his eyes!

Starstruck. Blown away. Kiss him tenderly and tell him how sexy he looks—how hot it is to watch him enjoying himself—how desperately you want him. He’ll fall apart.

As time passes, he’ll want to experiment more. Does he want you to go down on him? Or maybe suck him off when he’s wearing a strap-on?

Packing? Yeah! I bet it brings him joy to do it, though maybe not every day. Our boy could make his own packers—and I’m not talking rolled-up socks. You can 3D print silicone, you know: and look, I’m not saying he’s necessarily 3D printing cocks, I’m just saying that he could. I think he’s very specific about what he likes: and it would make him feel so satisfied to be able to create something with his own hands (and computers, of course) that feels right on his body.

And we’re not just talking packers, here. Why have I never before thought about the concept of Saeyoung making his own sex toys? Of course he can. He has a wide array of cocks of his own design—I’m convinced of it now.

And if you’re somebody who wants packers/toys for yourself? He’ll make you whatever you desire—and he’ll make it perfect for you.

Saeyoung likes to explore the various facets of his gender. He’ll dress up like a hyper-masculine paperback romance novel coverboy for you; or cute catboy (of course); or a knight in (literal) armor.

He likes to be dominant a lot of the time—he loves to feel like he’s in control. But still: call him a good boy and he’ll melt before your eyes.

#mystic messenger #saeyoung choi #707 #saeyoung x reader #707 x reader #headcanons #trans saeyoung #trans man saeyoung #anon

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amwritingmeta · 4 years

Text

15x14: Striking A Balance

This is late. I fell behind. Life happens. I still haven’t watched 15x15. Gah! But now to some thoughts on 15x14...

I thought this was a great episode the first time I watched it. Then I thought it was a bloody fantastic episode the second time I watched it, and the third time… well, it just gets better and better. I’m thoroughly looking forward to the final six. I hope you are too.

I hope you’re as well as you can be and that you’re not living in a stress bubble. They’re the worst. I’d hand you a big old needle if I could. Maybe this meta can be some sort of needle (for popping), because at least I don’t feel the ending of this show is anything we need to stress about. I do believe it’s going to be utterly spectacular. *all the faith*

So I spent a chunk of lockdown watching this show of ours. I started at 12x19 (that episode still makes me tremble with its sheer brilliance) through to 15x13, and felt an overwhelming satisfaction at the evenness of the storytelling for these last three-ish seasons.

A brief breakdown of three years of meta writing would be: Dean has been pushed to face, recognise and dismantle his internalised toxic masculinity traits aka his Shadow (which has been the root of unhealthy coping mechanisms and an inability to put down boundaries, communicate openly and handle his emotions), he’s been pushed to see the strength and power of his feminine traits (his nurturing side, his compassion, his protective nature) through being put in situations where he’s had no choice but to open up to being honest with himself, in turn bringing him on a course to him handling his emotions better, as well as the narrative giving us moments where he’s gotten the chance to acknowledge and embrace his neglected inner child.

Yes, Jungian doctrine runs like a river through it, what can I say? I’m a fan.

With Dean as our protagonist, Sam and Cas are both on mirroring journeys, though Sam is Dean’s mirror opposite and Cas is Dean’s mirror likeness. It doesn’t take away from the individual journeys of Sam and Cas: it’s just that their choices and their progression are not determining the course of the narrative. Rather, their choices and progression work to underline and highlight Dean’s growth. Sam and Cas are main characters, but they’re not driving the core of the plot.

Make sense? Cool!

Especially as this also means that Dean’s progression is pivotal for all three of them to actually reach… well, since it’s a word used twice this season why shouldn’t we just go with it? — completion.

Which is why my eyes are happily peeled for Dean having moments that display a deepened sense of self-understanding (like his prayer to Cas, where Dean put words on the anger he’s always feeling and how he doesn’t know why or where it’s coming from) (an enormous step toward actually dealing with that emotion) (as self-deception through denial caused by fear of weakness tied to fear of rejection and fear of failure — that’s a mouthful — has always formed Dean’s biggest internal obstacle) because neither Sam nor Cas should, when we look at the narrative as a whole, be able or allowed to reach full completion (or individuation, to use Jungian terms) without Dean getting there first, or at least being shown to be well on his way to getting there.

This episode then is more of an epicsode, because, man, do we get to explore balanced!Dean, and it’s all through Jack: the narrative representation of Dean’s inner child.

Oh, yeah. Way I see it, Jeremy Adams brought us right back to the threads he was pulling on in Scoobynatural. *bless his brain* Only this time he’s pushed it a step further and rather than Dean simply facing his inner child—as (14x16 whoops I mean) 13x16 opened up that can of worms—now, in 15x14, Dean is forced to properly acknowledge and embrace that inner child. I mean. The mind crackles. The feels are cascading like a waterfall over a great cliff. The excitement, people, is real.

Let’s dig in!

Sam and Dean

They were glorious this episode!!

So Sam ended up tortured a little, but that was because he was shooting first, asking questions second, and sure, Mrs. Butters had gone a bit crazy, but as he learned: it wasn’t her fault. It wasn’t her nature, the crazy had been torture-nurtured into her.

And Dean was faced with yet one more reminder of how kindness, compassion and protectiveness can go haywire when there’s influence from toxic masculinity (aka Cuthbert Sinclair) pushing someone into a position of mistrust, insecurity and need for control.

Let me reiterate the fact that when I’m talking masculine/feminine I’m not tying these concepts to gender, though of course these concepts have been tied to gender traits to the point of brainwashing people into thinking they should dictate what is male and what is female. (mental) Rather I mean all of our internal masculine/feminine traits that need to find balance if we are each to feel happy and content as human beings.

It’s Tao, and it’s Jung, and it’s beautiful. Is all I’m saying.

Digression.

My point is that in spite of sorting stuff out in their individual arcs, the brotherly relationship was depicted awesomely this episode, with Dean being 1000% supportive of Sam going to get itches scratched with Eileen, to the point of feeling he would rather just handle the sudden turn of events and this new threat by himself, than disrupt Sam and Eileen’s fun times (and by “fun times” I mean sex), and Sam going along for the joyride of holiday celebrations, home cooked meals and the supportive, warm and caring mother figure that they’re both, again, missing in their lives.

Sam was submissive this episode, following Dean’s opinions on how to best handle Jack (even with Dean being disastrous in the past when stating what Jack needs) which is somewhat frustrating, because Sam has so much more in him, but he also got to show that humongous heart of his, where he understood the root cause of Mrs. Butters’ behaviour and showed compassion, rather than judgement. His compassion has always been one of his most formidable strengths.

And, of course, Sam had to ride sidesaddle this episode because if he was putting up any sort of protest—regarding accepting Mrs. Butters as part of the bunker or how best to deal with Jack— Dean wouldn’t have gone through the push for progression, delivered through the representation of his inner femininity that is Mrs. Butters, but primarily through the representation of (and here we go into the deeper digging) his inner child—Jack.

Dean and Jack

You know, end of the episode Dean states what is evident throughout: he’s trying.

In the opening scene he asks Sam if Jack’s come out of his room, and then he’s the one who goes and knocks on Jack’s door to warn him about Mrs. Butters, placing trust in Jack that he can handle it and will call them if anything gets weird, and he cajoles Jack to come out with the promise of snickerdoodles. All of this subtly shows us that Dean knows what Jack is suffering, and we can be sure of that because we know he’s been there enough times.

The guilt, the self-blame, as well as the self-doubt underpinning it all, making it difficult to forgive.

Because, thing is, Jack is struggling to forgive himself. To accept that it was an accident. He’s waiting for Dean’s forgiveness to give him a marker for whether it’s okay for him to even begin to forgive himself, which is understandable on all the levels of his character progression, but especially when looking at him as a representative of Dean’s inner child.

So then, why is Dean acknowledging, embracing and nurturing his inner child important?

Because, when looking at the narrative from the angle where it’s filled with symbolisism to do with Dean’s internal journey (and by extension the internal journeys of all the characters), then Dean’s progression, and especially lack there of, has been closely tied to the fact that he never got to be a kid.

He had to grow up fast, got responsibility put on him that was way out of proportion for a four year old child, had to be a father and a mother to his younger brother, and learned to repress and suppress his childish urges, wants and needs through unhealthy coping mechanisms in order to dress himself in the image of the strongerst person that he’s ever known: his father.

(which is a misnomer because there was plenty of weakness to John Winchester) (especially how he was a highly emotional man who spent the years after his wife’s death driven by grief, but hammered it into his eldest son that emotions are weaknesses that will get you killed and you should control them to the point of barely being able to recognise them anymore)

It’s imperitive for Dean to deal with the neglect he suffered in his childhood, rather than ignore it, if he’s ever going to be able to let those wounds heal over. And letting them heal over is important because pushing down trauma leaves it room to influence our choices and to keep us in old patterns of behaviour. Because self-denial and self-neglect is where our Shadow lives and thrives—our unconscious gaining power over us and dictating our behaviour even as we’re unaware of it.

Remember how Jack swallowed Michael? Remember how Michael was Dean’s Shadow representative? It’s not by accident that what Dean has left to confront, fully, is self-trust, self-forgiveness and finding his way to real self-love, symbolically given to us in this narrative through his treatment of Jack.

Because Jack is the final piece of Dean’s internal puzzle: his inner child in need of some real TLC.

So then, what does Dean need in order to be able to show Jack aka himself some real TLC?

Mrs. Butters

Ah, yes, of course what Dean needs most is to engage with his internal femininity.

Mrs. Butters represents Dean’s suppressed and repressed longing for more in life, for a home, for love, and the only reason there’s been a need to suppress and repress this longing is to due with what he was taught as a child and throughout his formative years, actively by his father, and unconsciously by the way he was never taught or shown how to deal in any type of healthy way with the loss of his mother.

Mrs. Butters as our representative of positive femininity then shows us as the audience how Dean, in his heart of heart, wants to believe that he can have good things in his life. That he deserves them.

Mrs. Butters shows us that what Dean needs is to allow himself to feel joy, without expecting it to flip at a moment’s notice into feeling loss.

And yes, I realise where the episode ends, but perhaps the feeling of joy wouldn’t flip if the lesson was learned in full and Dean knew how to trust and simply let go of the undercurrent of fear that the flip is lurking somewhere just around the next bend.

What this episode shows us is that he’s just not quite there yet, but omg the threshholding is intense.

Because Mrs. Butters underlines that what Dean needs, more than anything, is to practice trust. Dean needs to practice opening up. Dean needs to practice letting go of his need for control.

He can still be in charge of a situation, without thinking it’s all on him always.

Now, the episode highlights this in a rather glorious way, by trapping him in a room, under threat, knowing Sam is about to walk into the situation, and deciding not only is he not going to call Sam for help, he’s not even going to text him a heads up.

Look. This might be a plothole here. Jeremy Adams might have been so focused on the joke of Dean not wanting to interrupt Sam’s sexy times that he didn’t realise the implactions of Dean not even sending a text to warn Sam that he was essentially heading home to a dangerous situation, yeah?

But the rather lax attitude of the brothers this episode: letting Mrs. Butters stay, and both of them neglecting the need for them to look into her backstory further, because they both got so distracted by holiday celebrations and her amazing cooking, combined with the hopscotch way they approach getting rid of her, all this is intentional enough for me to lean into the reading of Dean’s need to practice trust being explored in awesome ways.

Because Dean needs someone to take the load off, and Mrs. Butters does this in spades.

What with how she brokers zero arguments, immediately getting him to clean up his language, and I mean, Dean then defying this is a moment of awesomeness and of course we all want him to continue being midly CW foulmouthed, but for all intents and purposes, he succumbs to her chastising quickly, and she gets him to open up to the joy of the moment via holiday celebrations, and, to top it all off, she gets him to eat healthier.

The fact that she’s introduced folding his underwear, and then goes on to tell him that she wouldn’t have had to if he’d just done it right to begin with, is fairly epic. (verrryy epic) As is her giving Dean the nightshirt from Scoobynatural. Obviously! He’s wrapped in hugs! Purple hugs! And having Dean dressed in purple and eating vegetables in the same episode is enough to make one’s head explode.

*head* *ex* *ploded*

Balance. Is why my head is exploding. The purple and the vegetables are indications of growing internal balance. *yes please and thank you!*

I loved them celebrating Sam’s birthday and Dean having specific requests for his, Mrs. Butters dismissing him with how she thought he’s too old to want to celebrate. It was such a moment of reminding Dean that he’s not supposed to regress, he’s not to forget that he is, in fact, an adult, and nurturing his inner child is about letting go of the need for the childhood he never had—which is keeping him from properly having the adult life he deep down yearns for.

(and then this reminder was followed by a moment of kindness) (as there already were rice crispie treats waiting for him) (and his eager little face!) *heart eyes*

There was so much to love about Mrs. Butters, though!

Like the big bowl of crispy bacon on the breakfast table and her encouraging Sam to enjoy the world he’s fighting for, the waxing of Baby (!!), the introduction of the monster radar, finally getting the telescope—pardon me, the interdimensional geoscope—given some attention, Dean blowing a door down by using the grenade launcher (symbolically tied to self-liberation), the fixing of the TV in the Deancave (with thanks to Jeremy! he who breaketh he too shalt fixeth), the fact that Mrs. Butters is a straight-up anti-Nazi killing machine and that her violence stems directly from her need to protect her home and the people she cares about.

Yeah, there’s so much good in her that her not ending up shot, even though she tortured Sam, is not very surprising and I really enjoyed the fact that her story ended on a compassionate note of understanding, and that, if she hadn’t longed to go back to the woods, the boys would have wanted her to stick around.

Forgiveness—looking for it, or needing it— is a clear thread through this episode.

As For the Deeper Symbolism

Dean starts out cooking, wearing his new favourite garment—an apron. Now, I could tie that to Dean embracing his inner femininity and the rest of the episode working to underline this fact to us, but that’s just my reading of it, so who knows what the deal with the apron actually is. I do love it though, and it’s put in dialogue twice so we were definitely meant to make note of it.

The cooking ties him directly to Mrs. Butters, of course (or her to him, if you will) and creates a bookend for the episode, where Dean starts and ends the episode wearing the apron: first presenting Sam with a burger (meat man!) and then presenting Jack with a birthday cake.

This bookend is also tied very strongly to Jack.

Dean asks about him in the opening scene and we learn Jack is holed up in his room, the episode going from having Jack hiding himself away, ashamed and self-hating in his room, to him sitting opposite Sam, expressing concern that they’re putting all their bets on him and he’s not sure he’ll be able to kill God, Sam offering assurance and Dean, through his cake-baking and happy birthday wishes, offering forgiveness and support.

It’s awesome! Beyond awesome! It’s bloody brilliant, is what it is!

Especially when looking at the implications it holds for Dean’s inner work: his inner child starts out locked away, fearful and despairing, being brought out of that room through the kind and supportive side to his internal femininity representative, only for that representative to turn around and step into the shoes of the toxic masculinity traits that have always been the source of Dean’s self-hatred, distrust and lack of faith in himself, and once being granted honesty from the ego (Dean’s consciousness admitting that he’s trying, he’s angry, maybe always will be, but he’s trying) his inner child ends up with the ego showing that inner child how much it matters, that it’s trusted, cared for and loved.

*brains on ceiling*

Now, as mentioned briefly, the narrative gives us Dean’s inner femininity (Mrs. Butters) influenced by what is a clear toxic masculinity/Shadow character (Sinclair) and shows us why Dean is still wary of his inner child, still not entirely trusting, and it makes all the sense, especially now that the inner child has swallowed up the Shadow and incorporated it into himself.

Mrs. Butters’ mistrust of Jack becomes emblematic of Dean’s own mistrust in himself, but his inner child knows better and Jack’s continous denial of Mrs. Butters’ accusations underscores this fact. There is self-trust within Dean. Stronger than the lingering mistrust.

All of this inner work for Dean and Sam’s the one who gets tortured?

Well, I can see good reason why Sam is Mrs. Butters’ favourite and it’s to do with how he’s so closely tied to Dean’s purpose in life. Mrs. Butters is a reflection of Dean, and as she moves into Protector of the Bunker she’s also a reflection of any lingering toxic masculinity within Dean, and how it’s always been trying to find a way to sink its claws in Sam, but Sam has never bought into the toxic masculinty spiel, and because of that he’s needed in this instance, to see through the behaviour, to push for compassion, to break through the brainwashing that Mrs. Butters is under, to point out how she was used, taken out of her true nature to do someone else’s bidding.

The most thrilling part is that it’s Dean who delivers the biggest missing piece to Mrs. Butters’ puzzle: the true nature of Jack.

Because, looked at symbolically, Jack’s ability to save the world represents Dean’s inner child’s ability to save Dean.

Because if any side to Dean were to destroy/thoroughly repress his inner child, he’d be lost. He would never be able to heal.

The fact that Dean gets to be the one to do this, to talk a representative of his own inner imbalance down, makes me giddy.

He would not have been able to do this a season ago. He was barely able to do this at the beginning of this season, because he was so full of anger.

That anger, after voicing it to Cas, doesn’t hold the same sway anymore.

He freely admitted to Jack that he’s still angry, and perhaps he always will be a little angry, but he is trying, and this, to me, is enormous. He expressed his emotion and he’s in zero ways allowing that emotion to control his actions anymore.

And, hey, we got Dean, wearing purple, assuring Mrs. Butters that Jack is a good kid.

It’s just… happy happy joy joy!

And a standing ovation to Meagen Fay. She really helped make the episode compelling to watch, balancing Mrs. Butters’ homely and darling characteristics with the darker and MoL compelled Protector of the Bunker that slowly, but surely, reared its not-as-darling head. Kudos!

Right. I could write about this episode some more, because layers, but it’s time to leave off. One thing before I go, though: I loved that we finally had them talk about that big-ass telescope. And I love that it’s not a telescope, because it makes sense. They’re underground—how would they see the stars? I figured there was some sort of skylight somehow that would open or something but meh, dull. This is so much better! And I loved that the green colour of warning was actually to do with the fact that they’re now not being able to see anything through it, rather than the colour having to do exclusively with Mrs. Butters. Utterly brilliant! And… oh dear, what horrors lie ahead??

Now to go watch 15x15.

I’m not biting my nails.

At all.

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606writings · 4 years

Note

Hi! I was wondering if I could get a headcanon with Todoroki and 707 (separately) going to their s/o’s concert with their s/o as the lead singer?

HC: Reacting to their S/O's concert [Todoroki], [707]

A/N: Thank you for your request! This is such a good idea<3 I did Seven’s about a kpop idol since I thought it would be funny but I hope you like it!

Warning: A bit of a spoiler if you haven’t finished Seven’s route.

Todoroki:

When you first met, he actually had no idea you were famous, even if you two where in a very exclusive charity event where only certain people could attend.

He thought maybe you were invited by someone else, because you looked nothing like a celebrity to him; you were super humble and funny.

He discovered it after watching Deku and Uraraka fangirling over your newest music video, and it finally made sense why everyone was always taking photos of you at that charity event poor boy is so clueless in EVERYTHING.

So, after you both started dating, you invited him to your next concert hoping he would like your performance.

Right after he accepted, he immediately searched your music on YouTube trying to learn the lyrics to your newest songs so he could sing along and support you.

This cutie was head over heels for you, he thought if he memorized all your songs, you’d fall in love instantly at him.

When the day of your concert came, he was at a VIP seat as the show began.

The outfit you and your bandmates were wearing was according the theme of your last album.

But his eyes were only placed on you. You looked absolutely stunning.

All your fans were screaming and singing when the music started. At that moment he forgot all the lyrics he had memorized, being too distracted by the look on your face and the beaming smile you had while singing, jumping and dancing to the rhythm.

He was so proud of you, because you were so talented and so passionate about your performances.

Then you spotted his red/white hair among the crowd and waved happily at him.

He waved back and the people around instantly recognized him he was one of the top 3 best heroes at the time, so he had to move backstage to avoid catching too much attention.

The show finally ended, and after saying goodbye to your fans you ran to greet him.

“How was the show?” You asked nervous.

“Y/N…” He looked you in the eyes while taking your hands between his. “You were incredible, it was amazing.”

“Y-You think so…?” You blushed at his words and looked away from him embarrassed.

“I can’t believe I’m dating the most talented and gorgeous person in the world…”

If you were blushing before, now your face was a crimson mess.

He laughed at your reaction and slowly leaned over you, cradling your cheeks in his hands.

“Thank you for inviting me, Y/N. I can’t wait for the next show.” He said before kissing you.

707:

The day you entered the RFA chatroom for the first time, everyone was so shocked.

But no one was as shocked as Seven after doing a background check on you and discovering you were a k-pop idol.

And when you two became a couple officially, he unleashed his inner k-pop beast.

He started streaming all your group’s songs and learning all your lines.

One time while visiting him at the bunker, you found him following one of your Dance Practice videos. Allow me to tell you Seven would be a great dancer and you can’t change my mind.

Saeran was looking from the corner exasperated.

“It’s your fault, Y/N. He loves k-pop now”.

Seeing how your boyfriend was so excited you invited him to your next concert.

Saeran had to be dragged too, of course.

They were at first row -he had the money and skill to get two great seats, you think he wouldn’t use them?-.

Seven forced his brother to buy your group’s light stick together.

“We have to support Y/N, Saeran-ah~!”

The show began with one of your most famous songs, and Seven started dancing and singing your lines flawlessly.

Everyone looked at him, and he didn’t care but Saeran did care.

You would think he was just being as dorky as ever, but he was actually so excited to share an important moment with you.

All his life he had to live in the shadows, now he was able to have a normal life and wanted to make the best of it.

He was so proud and happy to see you perform, doing something you loved profoundly.

When a calmer song began, he took that moment to stop dancing and singing to appreciate you in front of him.

You were looking so beautiful, with those clothes that fitted you perfectly with an angelic concept.

While watching you singing so passionately, he was thinking how lucky he was to have you.

You were the light that came into his life to make everything brighter.

And seeing how happy you were on stage, the only thing he wanted was to keep that scene engraved in his memory forever.

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adiwriting · 4 years

Text

Sunday Mornings 2/?

Notes: Thank you all so much for the positive response last week. As promised, I’ll continue to have a new fluffy domestic ficlet to post in this verse every Sunday. ‘Cause truly, we all just need more soft fluffy Malex in our lives. Shout out to @cosmicclownboy for the idea of Alex stealing Michael’s coffee <3

Week 2:

Alex is sitting on the sofa scrolling through Netflix when Michael finally comes into the room, wearing nothing but Alex’s sweatpants and carrying a fresh mug of coffee. He sits down and Alex grabs the mug out of his hands to steal a sip for himself. Michael glares at him playfully, but he just shrugs back unapologetic.

“It tastes better when it’s yours,” he says with a smile, earning him a chuckle and a roll of the eyes before Michael steals the mug back for himself.

“Find anything for us to watch?” he asks, leaning his weight against Alex’s body. Alex wraps his arm around Michael’s shoulder and his hands move to to play with his hair as he continues to scroll aimlessly through the options.

“I don’t know, I guess I don’t care,” he says, handing the remote to Michael.

“There’s this new documentary that I’ve been reading up on about agriculture and over-cultivation,” he says, scrolling down to the documentary section and clicking through the options.

Michael is such a fucking nerd and Alex loves it.

He’s always known that Michael is smart. He was in classes with him growing up and thus, got to witness the ease with which Michael would learn any and every new concept their teachers introduced them to, no matter the subject, but especially math and science. He’d been aware of Michael’s scholarship and his original plans to go to school for agricultural engineering. And if none of that had been enough to convince him, Alex has been in Michael’s bunker. He’s seen the papers littered with complex mathematics that Alex will never understand.

He’s always recognized Michael’s genius. But the sheer level of nerd is a relatively new side of Michael that Alex is lucky enough to witness. He has never understood it when people tease nerds. Watching somebody geek out about a passion of theirs has always been a beautiful thing to Alex.

It’s why he enjoys talking to Greg about teaching. And why he always asks Liz how her research in California is coming along. Or why he asks Kyle about his day at the hospital. And yes, it’s also why he asks Max about his writing, even when it makes everyone around them groan. But few things will ever be as beautiful to Alex as the way Michael acts whenever he’s learning something new or explaining some science topic to him. It’s breathtaking.

“Here it is,” Michael says, finding what he had been looking for. “It’s supposed to be really good but I haven’t been able to watch it because I don’t have a Netflix account.”

Alex gives him a slightly judgemental look. Not because he’s never signed up for Netflix, he gets that the monthly subscription is a luxury not everyone is willing to pay. But because he’d never told Alex that before and they could have solved this problem a long time ago.

“You know I can give you my log in, right?” Alex says. Even before they started dating, Alex would have given him his password so his nerdy ass could watch all the documentaries his heart desires.

“Really?” he looks surprised.

“Really.” He’s about to end it at that but instead gets a genius idea of his own. “Of course, I’ll require you pay me in coffee…”

Michael rolls his eyes. He hands Alex his mug with an amused smile before standing up, seemingly to go make himself another cup. Alex smiles triumphantly and sips happily at what is truly, the best cup of coffee in town. He’s not sure how Michael manages it, but his coffee is always better than Alex’s, even when they are making it out of the same pot.

“So I’m guessing you want to watch this nerdfest,” Alex calls out to him.

Michael appears back at the doorway looking slightly embarrassed. “No, we don’t have to. I can watch it later.”

“Guerin, do you want to watch this?” he asks again, already knowing the answer is yes even if Michael is going to pretend like he doesn’t care.

“Whatever you want,” Michael says before walking back into the kitchen to finish preparing his mug.

Well lucky for Michael, what Alex wants is to cuddle on the couch and watch his boyfriend geek out over agricultural engineering.

He settles back into the corner of the couch, adjusting the pillows and getting comfortable so that he’ll be ready for optimal snuggling when Michael gets back. It’s 10am on a Sunday and they’ve already been up for a few hours. Alex had woken Michael up with a morning blow job and Michael had repaid the favor before they’d had a nice long shower together. Then Alex had cooked them both breakfast and Michael had done the cleaning up. It’s only their second week together, but already Alex smiles at the routines they are establishing. Spending lazy Sundays together he hopes is a routine that sticks.

Michael comes back into the room with a new cup of coffee and they settle into each other before Alex presses play on the documentary. The smile he gets from Michael as a reward is well worth watching 2 hours on a topic that Alex could honestly care less about.

And so Michael watches the TV with rapt attention and Alex watches Michael.

It’s a great way to spend the morning, actually. Because Alex finds out that few things are as entertaining as getting to watch Michael geek out with no filter. Michael watches the screen with intense focus, but every five to ten minutes he’ll pause in order to turn and explain to Alex how he’s going to this, that, or whatever to solve the problem locally. He watches as Michael’s face scrunches up in concentration when he encounters something he doesn’t already know, and how his eyes get wide with excitement whenever they talk about something he does.

Alex kisses the top of Michael’s head as Michael’s fingers run absentmindedly over the arm that Alex has around his waist. Once their coffees are both finished and set on the coffee table, Michael coaxes Alex down further on the couch until he’s spooning Michael, and while the position makes it more difficult to see the screen past all of Michael’s hair, Alex isn’t complaining one bit.

It’s a two hour film and they are going on hour three with how often Michael keeps pausing the movie. It’s nearing 1pm, he’s been up for hours, and the warmth of Michael against him is causing his eyelids to droop. He wouldn’t mind taking a nap with Michael right here. Alex yawns, which Michael of course misreads and tenses next to him.

“I’m sorry, I know this is boring to you,” Michael says. “It’ll be over in 10 minutes and then we’ll watch whatever you want to.”

“I don’t mind,” Alex says, pulling Michael in closer and snuggling up against his back, leaving kisses on the back of his neck. “I’m exactly where I want to be.”

Michael pauses the documentary to look at Alex, and Alex can’t help but lean in for a sweet kiss. He’s been wanting to kiss Michael from the first five minutes of the film. Michael rolls over until his entire body is facing Alex’s and then nudges his knee in between Alex’s thighs before kissing him again. This time the kiss is anything but sweet. It’s open and strong, and full of all of the usual passion and desire that Alex is used to with Michael.

It doesn’t take more than a minute before Michael is tugging at Alex’s T-shirt, demanding it to come off and Alex separates his lips from Michael’s only long enough to get his shirt over his head.

It’s a solid 45 minutes before they finish the last ten minutes of that documentary, and by then, they both have several missed phone calls and texts from their friends. Both of them had completely forgotten about plans for a late lunch with their friends at the Crashdown, but neither of them feels all that guilty for it.

“New plan,” Michael says, standing up from the couch and stretching his back, not bothering to put his sweatpants back on. “Let’s not pretend like we’re ever going to leave the house on a Sunday.”

Alex smiles. He loves this plan almost as much as he loves Michael.

Tagged: @callieramics

Let me know if you want to be tagged. I’m all queued up with more fics through the end of August, with more fics in my drafts.

#roswell nm #roswell new mexico #Malex fic #malex #alex manes #michael guerin #fic: sunday mornings #fluff #domestic bliss

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scaryorganmusic · 3 years

Note

s8 review when you are done with it

the thing about season 8 is the last episode is so good i instantly forgive any sin the season may have commited, but going at it bit by bit

Amelia subplot - yeah, i agree with most fans that this was boring. i like Amelia and i don’t think the concept of flashbacks to his year out of the life is bad, i just think it didn’t really go anywhere. i mentioned it in this post but i think it could’ve been interesting to see how Sam’s trauma and resulting trust issues would’ve impacted him even out of the life and all that.

He did nothing wrong in not looking for Dean tho, hills I’ll die on and all that.

Purgatory - iconic. honestly supernatural’s concept of Purgatory might’ve been better executed than both Heaven and Hell (maybe because those two are more interesting when less literal and all that).

Dean and Benny - again, iconic. (and cameo confirmed now, yay). i’m obsessed with their phone calls and the drama of it all. and it is interesting to see Dean dealing with a non human friend for once. could’ve given him more of a perspective on Sam, on Amy and all of that (it didn’t tho, it kind of didn’t).

Cas - watching him go through the stages of learning how to navigate life when he has to make his own choices is a delight, we watched him mess up and now this guilt stage and need to attone is pretty interesting too. the Naomi mind control thing I cared for a little less but it did provide thee crypt scene so fair is fair.

Kevin - i love him. few people in this show have been as screwed over and as failed by the winchesters as him. I'm dead, you bastards! So screw you, screw God and everybody in between!

Shout out to Charlie having two eps in the season, and to my girl Abaddon

AND FINALLY, TRIALS - it’s weird to realize how little time of the season was actually spent on the trials, because when i remember season 8 this is what comes to my mind. there’s so much going on there, from Dean assuming from the start he would be the one taking on the trials - Sam killing the hound and saying he saw a light at the end of all of this - Dean’s protectiveness and Sam interpret is as Dean expecting him to fail, - the so? when he learns he’ll die.... the “i could never go on a quest like that” and “you wanna know what i confessed in there” monologues live in my brain [which is why almost immediately after watching Sacrifice i had to make these x x].

AND THAT FINALE, I remember watching that for the first time and getting my mind blown, Sam letting go and Dean carrying him out of that church? THE ANGELS FALLING?? KEVIN GETTING IN THE BUNKER??? HUMAN CAS?????? god i was SO EXCITED for season 9, it felt like everything was going in the most interesting direction ever and i couldn’t wait to see it (and that hiatus was insane!)

It’s weird how i kinda felt like that again rewatching it even though I know season 9 disappointed me to no end....

anyways, sorry I got a bit long, and do tell me your thoughts on s8 too!

#i do think they missed the mark with some of the fillers #i mean the prometheus episode is attrocious #and the found footage is boring #but it doesn't affect the aftertaste of the season #spn #long post #blahdose

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mysteryartisticwriter · 4 years

Text

Flowers // Jack Kline X Reader

A/N: Hey loves, sorry its been so long since I’ve published an actual fic. I’m moving out of my current household rn and into a new one so I’ve been pretty busy with that. Along with everything else thats been going on, I wanted to talk a break and help out with the Black Lives Matter protests. I’ll put links to donations and petitions you can sign so that you can help out! Please do whatever you can to help!!

TAKES PLACE DURING SEASON 13 WHERE CAS IS STILL DEAD

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED BTW (FOR NOW)

Requested: Yes (by: kylasyrtiaan) // Hi 👋 I was really enjoying your Jack Kline images. Maybe you can make one more? How about a soulmate AU? When one of the soulmates is wounded, another in the place of the cut appears the favorite flowers of his soulmate. You can take the scene where Jack stabbed himself, but you would have seen him and stop him in more caring way. Or y/n was cutting something and accidentally cut a finger, and in a different room Jack would have examined a tiny tulip growing from his finger. Thanks in advance))

Warnings: Blood, accidental and purposeful self harm TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR SOME

Not my gif!! (Please tell me if you, the owner, would like me to take the gif down!)

You didn’t find out until you were making pie for the boys in the bunker’s kitchen. It was rare to actually make full on meals in your home but there was a recipe for this s’mores pie that you wanted to try.

Ever since Cas died, there had been a gloom in the bunker that everyone could see. Dean was affected the most, locking himself up in his room listening to the mixtape that he made for Cas. Wanting to cheer him up a little bit, you thought a delicious pie would help.

Jack, the sweet boy he was, wanted to help you. For being the son of Lucifer himself, Jack was literally one of the greatest guys you could ever ask for.

While he didn’t have much experience in baking, you thought it was adorable seeing him crush the graham crackers happily and stir the melting chocolate and butter.

You were in the middle of cutting the dough for the intricate design you wanted for the crust when the knife cut the side of your left ring finger. You cursed in your head and hissed at the small cut. You’ve had much worse wounds than this but it still bothered you.

Blood started to seep from the cut and you walked over to the sink to run some water over it for cleaning.

“Are you okay, (Y/n)?” You heard Jack asked, your back to him.

“Oh, I’m fine. Just cut my finger on accident...” You explained.

“I could try to heal y-” Jack stopped mid sentence and you turned around to see what was the problem.

The brunette was staring at his own left ring finger where a small black dahlia flower began to bloom in the exact same spot where you cut yourself. You could feel your whole body freeze up while Jack continued to stare at the flower in confusion.

“What’s happening, (Y/n)?” He innocently asked you.

You stayed silent as you could feel your heart beat faster. You knew what this flower meant, how could you not? You waited your whole life to see who would found black dahlia flowers in the same place you got wounds. But now that you knew who was getting them, you didn’t know what to think.

‘Jack Kline is my soulmate,’ you thought. ‘Oh dear Chuck, Jack is my soulmate.’

Your mind was filled with different thoughts, some good and grateful that Jack was the person you would stay with for the rest of your life, some bad and scared that the literal anti-christ was your soulmate. Dean was not going to like this.

You were so caught up in your thoughts that you didn’t even hear that Jack was calling out to you.

“-/n)...(Y/n)!” Jack yelled at a volume loud enough to snap you out of your state.

“What’s wrong? Is the flower bad?”

You gulped and stared into Jack’s deep sky blue eyes. You smiled and pressed a hand on the nephilim’s cheek, gently.

“The flower isn’t bad. In fact, it’s amazing.” You took a pause to breathe. “That flower growing in your finger is the black dahlia flower-”

Jack interrupted you. “Your favorite flower?”

He remembered. He remembered your favorite flower. It was a small detail, but it didn’t stop your stomach from having that fuzzy and warm feeling.

“Y-yes...yes. it’s my favorite flower. And the reason why you have that flower is because I cut myself. It means we’re connected, Jack. We’re soulmates.”

Jack’s face calmed a bit but still held some minor confusion. He set his own hand on your own.

“Like Castiel and Dean?”

You giggled, remembering when you told him the reason behind Dean’s dislikeness to him. Jack was so much like Cas in a way, reminding Dean of when he first met his angel. You told him that when Castiel died, it really hurt him, them being soulmates after all.

Explaing the definition of soulmates wasn’t too bad, he had gotten the concept fairly easily. You remember he was so excited to see who his soulmate would turn out to be. You also remember feeling the smallest amount of jealousy in the pit of your stomach.

But soulmates were soulmates. Castiel and Dean Winchester were soulmates.

Just like you and Jack.

“Yes. Just like Castiel and Dean.”

“We’re soulmates.”

Jack’s mouth slowly formed into a grin.

“We’re soulmates!” The brown haired nephilim brought you into his arms and hugged you with all his might.

You laughed as he twirled you around in happiness. It was the most happy you’ve seen him ever in the bunker. Carefully setting you down, Jack’s joy filled eyes stared back into your own (e/c) ones.

“I’m glad you’re my soulmate, (Y/n).” Jack softly told you.

“And I’m glad you’re mine, Jack.”

“What’s this about soulmates?” Dean’s voice suddenly filled the room.

Oh shit.

After today, you needed a break from everything. The fourth prince of Hell continued to pursue Jack and when Jack’s powers got a little out of control, Dean’s distaste for him grew.

Jack settled in his room while you, Dean and Sam did more research on this Hell prince. Well, more like Dean drank beer while you and Sam did the research. You flipped through the pages of the book you were reading while sitting at the table in the kitchen.

“Hopefully this fourth Prince of Hell is the last Kardashian in the family.” Dean said, taking a sip of his beer.

Sam chuckled as you finally found what you were looking for.

“According to this, if that was Asmodeus...it’s the end of the line.” You told them after reading all you could on the demon.

Nodding slightly in understanding, Dean sighed and got up from his seat to leave the room. You closed your book and was about to leave to see Jack when Sam’s voice stopped the both of you.

“Dean, wait a second. (Y/n), you can stay if you want.”

You stayed in your seat, wondering what the conversation was going to be and Dean turned his attention to his brother, Sam sighing as well then spoke.

“The kid came through for us today. Jack saved us.”

“No.” You turned your head to Dean, confused. “No, whatever that was, it was a reflex. It was a sneeze. Maybe next time he sneezes, he kills us.”

“Jack wouldn’t do that. Jack wouldn’t hurt us like that. If we just continue to help him control his powers then-” Dean interrupted you before you could speak any further.

“Then what? He learns to control his powers and then what? He just becomes good?”

Angered, you stood up from your seat and stared him dead in the eyes.

“He. Is. Good. How many times do I have to tell you that he is not evil?”

“Jack may be your ‘soulmate’, but he is still Lucifer’s son, (Y/n)! Are you forgetting what son of a bitch did to Cas? To us?”

“Just because he has his genes, does not mean Jack is his father!” You spat. “You know how that feels, don’t you Dean?”

The elder Winchester was silent as you two continued to stare at each other. Your face was red and Dean’s was emotionless, but there was something behind his eyes that you couldn’t make out.

You grabbed your book off the table, bid a harsh goodnight to the brothers and left the room.

As you made your way down the hallways to Jack’s, you started to feel a stinging pain all over your chest and stomach. It felt as if someone was stabbing you with a small knife- oh no.

Lifting your t-shirt, you found different sizes of purple, white and light pink hyacinth flowers growing out of different spots of your stomach and chest. There were a lot, too many for your liking.

Immediately, you sprinted down the rest of the hallways until you finally found his room. Jack was standing in the middle of the room, his back turned to you and a large bloody kitchen knife in hand.

He grunted every time the knife hit his body and the squishing sounds of his skin meeting the sharp knife could be heard from outside the bedroom.

You instantly popped open the door right away.

“Jack!”

Hearing your voice, the said boy turned around right as you forcibly grabbed the knife from his hand.

“(Y/n), I-”

“What are you doing?! What are you...why are you...Jack...” You couldn’t even find the right words to speak as tears were forming in your eyes absentmindedly.

There were holes in his white shirt, some parts of the tears in his shirt were bloody. Although, the scars from the knife were completely gone. Still horrified from what you just witnessed, you pulled Jack into a hug. Tears were definitely running down your face now, not that you cared.

“Jack...what the hell were you thinking?” You questioned him as you released him from your hug and gripped onto his shoulders. He just remained quiet, staring down at the floor.

“Answer me, dammit!”

Slowly, Jack’s eyes met your tear filled ones. A single tear fell from his eye. As much as you regret raising your voice at him, your emotions were too strong at the moment.

“(Y/n),” He spoke. “What the hell am I?”

The question caught you a bit off guard, you didn’t really know what to respond with. Sure, Jack knew he had powers and that he was the son of an Archangel, but he didn’t know to the extent of what he actually is.

“I can’t control...whatever this is. I will hurt someone.” Jack’s voice was crestfallen.

“I’ll hurt you.”

The words alone broke your whole heart.

Jack was so sure that he’ll end up killing someone, that he’ll end up hurting you and it was utterly heartbreaking to see the love of your life like this. Jack didn’t ask for these powers, he didn’t ask to be Lucifer’s son. Jack just wanted to live.

“Maybe. Maybe not. In this bunker, we all get hurt around here. Whether or not it’s emotional or physical, we all get hurt.” You confessed, knowing it was the truth.

“But I believe in you, Jack. I believe that you won’t hurt me. I believe that you can be saved. And so does Sam.”

Jack slightly shook his head. “But not Dean.”

You sighed and bit down on your tongue, wanting to slam Dean’s head against the bunker’s concrete floors but forcing yourself not to.

“Screw Dean. Okay, screw anyone who doesn’t think you can be saved. Because I’ve been around these Winchesters long enough to know that you are capable of being saved.”

Your rested your foreheads against each other, and while Jack was a bit taller than you, it didn’t matter. The intimate moment was calming, your sniffles and tears started to subdue and the air around you seemed to feel a little less doleful.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered.

“Don’t be. You shouldn’t be sorry for what you are.” You carressed his cheek with your hand.

“Did the flowers grow where I hurt myself?” He asked, suddenly worried.

“Yeah, they did. But it’s okay,” You reassured him. “I like the flowers.”

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soldouthaz · 3 years

Note

Hey love! Can you give us a quick summary of all the fics you’re currently working on and also of those you kind of have ideas to write about in the future but haven’t started yet? I’m so interested in your writing 💕

ahh of course!!! I'll put it all below the cut in case anyone wants to be surprised :) thank you so much for your interest! I hope you’re doing well!

okay, so aside from a couple that I'm keeping secret for now, these are all the ones that I'm currently working on! (I'll put my other ideas that I haven’t started yet near the bottom of the post!

1. single dad fic

this one and the next one will most likely be out sometime in the beginning of 2021 since I’ve already got a bit of them written! this one is abo too, which is also still kind of new to me! L moves in next door to H who has a daughter, and quickly becomes caught up in their lives, getting attached to both H and the little girl. there are a few twists and turns along the way though because I can’t help but write in some angst, and I’m excited to write these characters! I don’t think I've ever written a kid fic before, so this one is full of new concepts for me!

2. look after you iii

this one has been a long time coming, but I'm hoping to get it out sometime before march 2021 if all goes well! it’s the final addition to my look after you series, and I feel like it wraps everything up really nicely. it also shows a more serious and domestic side to those characters than any other part of that ‘verse, and touches on some important aspects of my own life like adoption and a few other things yet to be revealed. I always say that this series began as an excuse to practice writing smut, but it’s turned into so much more to me :)

3. science & faith

I've mentioned this one a few times before as well! it’s STEM major L who has dedicated his career to proving that love doesn’t actually exist. H is a philosophy major that challenges him from the beginning, and through several interviews they become unexpected friends. cue major character development and wayyyyyy too much psych/philosphy conjecture because it’s my guilty pleasure. some of my favorite fics are the ones where they’re both insanely intelligent and debate a lot, so I've tried to mirror some of that in this!

4. sitcom au

okay, this is the first of several long fics that I want to write this coming year! this one is an idea that I've been obsessed with for nearly two years now, and I'm finally getting around to writing some of it! it’s loosely based around Friends, but very different I'd say. the entire gang are on a new-age sitcom and the fic explores their lives both on and off screen. it’s enemies to lovers (sort of) and has a bit of side ziam because it’s my guilty pleasure, and I feel like it’s one of the most real, raw, emotional pieces I've ever written. I am so so so so excited about this one, and I feel like people will really be able to relate to many aspects of it!!!

5. love & monsters

this au is loosely based around the movie that came out earlier this year (Love & Monsters) in which the world ends, but not entirely. I'm changing quite a few details about it though! the vibe here is very dystopian, everyone lives in bunkers, and there are giant, radioactive insects as a result of the world ‘ending’ (lots of world building which will be explained in detail in the fic!). this one features bunker leader H and traveler L, and it’s another one that is unlike anything I've ever written before! I have so many ideas for this one, and I've always wanted to try my hand at a dystopian type world!

6. speakeasy au

this one was inspired by the lovely, talented @loubellies !!!!!!! her fic was phenomenal, and it immediately inspired me to want to write a fic that took place in a similar ‘verse! mine will take some slightly different turns and hopefully won’t be too similar! as the rough title suggests, it’s based around a speakeasy and it’s also a historical au (I am going to try my best to make everything historically accurate, but I made a B- in history in school so - we’ll see!) so far it’s got lots of prohibition-era type themes, suspender-wearing H, and one of the most interesting L’s I've ever written, I think. oh, and LOTS of alcohol! I'm excited to try to write some crime/action more in depth!

7. married in vegas au

for this one I wanted to go back to my roots for another road trip fic! it’s strangers to lovers to enemies and then back to lovers (sorry for the slight spoiler, but you know I'm incapable of writing anything other than a happy ending) and features H&L both flawed and at some difficult parts of their lives, and they both find themselves in vegas hoping for a distraction. on the trip back to their old lives they both are forced to confront some things and improve themselves, and maybe also learn to love again while they’re at it. I adore road trip au’s and character development, so this is another one I'm really excited about!

8. abo royalty au

the last I'll share of my current wips for now is one that I've had in my idea list for a while, but randomly wrote a few thousands on over the past few weeks! it’s a historical royalty au that’s abo, featuring royal H. I don’t want to give away too much of L’s storyline just yet, but his character is one of my favorites in this one for sure! also, may or may not be written with my lovely friend @falsegoodnight .... let me know? ;)

that’s about it for now! I have nearly 30 wips but I only counted the ones that have significant word counts here, and I'll put some below with the ideas!

and then here are some in my list that have 10k or less that I want to write in the future (feel free to send me ideas or things you’d like to see in them, or to ask me for more info if you’re curious!):

- ziam au

- sterek au

- fashion designer!L

- rival CEO’s (this one has over 10k but it’s been abandoned for a bit! I need to get back into it!)

-superpowers au

- ghost writer!L / popstar!H au

- *possibly* a triplet fic (nothing weird! strictly X/L | X/L | X/L)

- witch!L

- more vampy drabbles

- a pride and prejudice au where L is mary

- phone sex operator!H but the hotline is for aftercare

- H is engaged to someone else (although ris @falsegoodnight knocked this trope OUT OF THE PARK and I don’t think I could ever do it justice after reading hers!)

- some modern day fairytales

- I'd like to do some more uni au’s as well!

- a loosely inspired reversed Grease au where L is preppy and pretends he doesn’t know H when they get back to school, and H is from the ‘wrong side of the tracks’ and falls head over heels for L

alrighty, I think that’s about it! these are most of my plans for the next two years or so, with the exception of some drabbles/pwp’s/some other works that I'm keeping private for now! if you see anything you’d like more info on or make any suggestions for, please don’t hesitate to reach out or send me an ask!

and thank you again for asking me this, I've really been uninspired recently and I feel like I'm kind of dragging, but getting to talk a little bit about them has made me very happy tonight! thank you so much again for your interest, and I hope you have a lovely rest of your day/night! <3

#about me #my fic

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mattzerella-sticks · 4 years

Text

Spill

A Dean/Cas 2.7k stay-at-home pwp E-rated fic

Dean always thought it would take more to force him into retirement. Yet here he is, locked in the Bunker until the world figures out a cure for a deadly virus. It could be worse - at least they have a home. He cannot imagine how worse it would be if this happened years earlier, where he and Sam were trapped in a tiny motel room together. Here they have options, and miles of outdoor space they can stroll through if their options become stale.

And they were beginning to. Dean could only do so much indoors. Dean knew he needed to shake things up, but couldn't begin thinking how. Luckily Castiel has an idea, and gives him a new way of looking at their kitchen.

Dean hears the faucet first. Slows his hurried steps into the kitchen once he realizes someone is already inside. Instead of the frantic jog, Dean enters at a normal pace. Although that turns into a stumbled stop when Dean sees who stands by the running water.

Castiel glances up, brow raised. Dirt streaked across his face, up his arms, and all over his clothes. The gray fabric of his snug tee darkened by both that and sweat highlighting the curves of his muscles. Jeans hanging from his hips, a peek of orange underwear catching Dean’s eye. Dean cannot linger there so he forces himself down and notices how the fraying hems overhang on his bare feet. He spots muddied boots not far from where the other man stands, socks bunched up in one. “Hello, Dean,” he says, “are you looking for something?”

Talking is difficult. His already dry throat worsens. He licks at the sand sticking to the corners of his lips. “Need a beer.”

“Then by all means,” Castiel nods his head at the refrigerator, “I’m not stopping you.”

Dean waits. Signals cross in their haste, his arms making an aborted reach. When they settle at his side Dean finds his legs moving. He walks two steps and pauses again at the fork.

If he goes the shorter way, risks entering Castiel’s orbit, he will undoubtedly find himself trapped. But curving around the island would garner unwanted suspicioun. Why make the extra effort if the first route was quicker?

Castiel watches him now, Dean taking too long in his thoughts. He chooses the former option and steels his will.

All hope evaporates when Dean’s hand brushes against Castiel’s ass in an unavoidable collision. “Sorry,” he says, beaming, “I thought you were past me already.”

“No, ah – not there yet,” Dean coughs, scratches his cheek, “but I’m close!” He chuckles lamely. Tapers off when Castiel stays silent. Dean turns and finishes the mission. Grabs his beer and shuts the refrigerator door with a sigh. But he doesn’t leave. Not yet. “What, ah,” he points at Castiel with the neck of the bottle, “what were you doing?”

Castiel glances at his state and shrugs. “If I told you I was mud wrestling, would you believe me?” The image nearly causes a trip to the infirmary, his grip on the bottle tighter than necessary. Recommended if he wanted glass shards in his hands. “No,” Castiel continues, “I saw that today’s weather called for clear skies and sun. What with the whole stay-at-home orders forcing us into semi-retirement I figured now would be the perfect time to clear off that patch of space. You know, the one we talked about.”

Dean remembers. Castiel’s eyes glowed without aid from his grace, picturing the different kinds of plants he could grow. Planning where they would go and how it would all look. From conception to helping him buy supplies at Home Depot, Dean helplessly followed Castiel. Lost in his excitement, the tides of it washing him further out into the bottomless seas of Dean’s affection.

“What I managed to get done, however, was make a mess all over myself.” Castiel held up his one arm as proof, tan skin hidden by patches of filth. “I think planting will be better served for another day.” Castiel frowns, then, skewing his head. Eyes staring through each and every wall Dean built. “What are you doing?”

“Oh, you know…” he waves his beer, “getting a drink.” Dean finally notices the scant amount of space left between them, Castiel drifting closer at some point. “That I’m… I’m going to drink. So…” He holds the bottle up higher in mock cheers, then opens it. Except his eyes stay with Castiel’s, locked together.

Castiel has no problem breaking their contest. He glances down, frown deepening with a sigh. Dean trails after and sees what happened.

His beer. Unknowingly, when he opened it, some of the drink bubbled up and spilled out of its mouth. With Castiel close, some of it splashed on his feet. “Shit,” Dean pulls the bottle closer, wincing, “Sorry ‘bout that.”

“You really should be more careful Dean,” Castiel says. He gestures at the small puddle, “who’s going to clean that up now?”

“I… I -uh…” Dean had an answer. He did. Then Castiel met his gaze again, this time with furrowed brows and piercing intensity, and the words joined the puddle on the floor. Dean grinned, expression dopey, and blew on the remaining fizz to ease the tension. “Ha?”

Castiel rolls his eyes. “Idiot…” muttered fondly under breath. He folds his arms over his chest, shifting. Stares at the bottle. “Well?” he asks, “Are you going to drink what’s left? If you were feeling left out in being dirty, I’m sure there were other methods you could have used that didn’t waste beer.” Something glints under Castiel’s eyes after his comment, that startled him.

A nervous giggle eases free from Dean’s lips before slamming shut into a half-smirk. He brings the bottle up to his mouth and drinks. Although only Castiel’s raven tufts stay in his line of sight, Dean feels the ever-warm gaze of his friend on him. Studying him, thinking.

There’s more warmth, as Dean feels Castiel’s calloused fingers slide up his neck and squeeze under his jaw. Dean chokes slightly, beer swishing inside his mouth. Blocked, dammed by outside pressure. “Cas?” he asks, gargling his name.

“Keep drinking Dean,” Castiel tells him. Whispers, his free hand stroking Dean’s hair, “Go on. Keep drinking.”

Dean tries lowering the bottle. Where Castiel’s arm sat, he cannot bring it fully down. Concerned he switches course, searching for an answer in his friend’s face. Nothing he understands waits for him in the calm smile or unwrinkled skin. When he sees his eyes, Castiel’s normal blue a thin ring around large, black pupils, Dean gets it.

He nods, wrapping his lips more firmly around the bottle. Beer flows from the glass and into his mouth, cheeks puffing up with drink that circles the drain without going down. His eyes water from the stretch. Dean feels his Adam’s apple bobbing, swallowing more on instinct than by choice. Darkness swirls at his vision as the need for air rears its head.

With a single cough, it’s over. Dean splutters, bottle pulled away while beer waterfalls out his mouth and onto the floor again. Hacking, gasping, Dean wipes at his chin. Where he feels what little he caught there drying and leaving his skin tacky. Castiel hums, the hand on his neck featherlight while the other continues stroking Dean’s hair. “You happy?”

“Are you?”

“What?” Dean clears his throat, glaring at Castiel. Holding onto the island otherwise he would fall into the lake of El Sol.

“Are you happy with your drink, Dean?” Castiel asks.

He scoffs, coughing again. “Maybe if I had a chance to actually drink it instead of spitting it back up like some virgin…” Dean blushes, squeezing the empty bottle.

Castiel shrugs. “How unfortunate…” The gentle scratching at his head turns painful when he grabs a handful of Dean’s hair, an edge of pleasure hovering behind the bite. “I guess the next mess we make… it should be enjoyable for both of us.” He winks, and then uses the hand that once held Dean’s neck to instead squeeze at his junk.

There was no mistaking the message.

Still, Dean glanced up at Castiel with wide eyes. He runs his tongue over already sticky lips, “You mean…?” Castiel tilts his head again, smiling wide enough his gums showed.

Dean dropped with enough speed he made a splash. On autopilot, Dean works Castiel’s cock free with professional carelessness. A man with ten-thousand hours of experience, memories imprinted on the muscles over the years. A master.

He pushes the jeans low at his knees, and then pushes Castiel up against the island. Castiel groans, tugging on Dean’s hair and coaxing a whine from him. “Good, Dean,” he slurs, one foot sliding forward because of the messy puddle they chose to do this in, “Please…” Dean guides his free hand, the one seizing at his side, up onto the island for support. Finally, he slides fingers around the other man’s cock.

It’s difficult. Dried beer is not a good substitute for lube. So, after three unsuccessful jerks with his yeasty hand, Dean lets go and swallows Castiel whole. Castiel seizes under him, a leg jumping up and splashing more of the puddle everywhere. There’s another round of hair pulling, enough Dean closes his eyes and sees constellations forming in the shadows.

“You’re such a good little cocksucker, Dean,” Castiel hisses, “know exactly what to do…” Dean pops off Castiel’s cock, licks a stripe up the underside – from base to swollen head – and then takes it. His length stretches Dean’s mouth, not wide enough that it hurts. Enough, though, Dean can feel the beginning aches in his jaw.

His hands come into play again, now that the possibility of chaffing Castiel’s cock lessened considerably. One joins his mouth on the shaft, following when he slides up and letting Dean’s mouth push it back towards the base. The other first rests at Castiel’s hip. Thumb kneading the skin with enough force to bruise. When Dean finds the sounds coming from Castiel unsatisfying, it slides a path down. Dean holds his friend’s balls and when his lips are fully stretched, he squeezes.

Castiel pulls Dean’s head by his hair with a grunt, sliding him away. Although his hips canted forward chasing the loving heat from his mouth. Dean unsheathes the cock from his lips. Instead he drops a chaste kiss on the head, followed by a quick lick at the slit. He hums as the taste of precum sits on his tongue. “You’re a sweet boy, Cas,” Dean says. Drunk with beer on his lips, his skin, and his pants. Everywhere except inside of him. “Love it… love how it’s all for me…”

“It is. Only you Dean,” Castiel says, twitching under him. “Please, I feel it… please…”

Dean chuckles, playing with his friend’s balls and eliciting another moan. “Might as well,” he tells him, “what’s one more mess…” Dean slobbers a few more kisses on Castiel’s cock, heart beating furiously at what pleasure it brings both of them. He feels his own length hardening in his pants, fabric tenting, while Castile grinds curses into dust between his teeth.

Letting go of Castiel’s balls, he scrapples upwards and latches onto the sweaty, dirt-strewn shirt. Bunches it in his fist while he almost tears it. A few stiches ripping open reaches his hears in the midst of pleasure. Dean forgets them immediately with Castiel forcing his cock back into Dean’s mouth.

“Almost… Dean, take me there. Please…!” Castiel gasps, slamming his hand on the island surface. Dean scoots closer into the open space of his legs, sucking on Castiel’s cock with increased fervor. Desperate for his come.

Midway over Castiel’s cock, a new sensation joins the orgy. Someone screams, neither Castiel nor Dean. He opens his eyes and sees Sam standing at the entrance. “Sam –“ he says, choking on the hard cock. With teeth scraping the throbbing length, Castiel loses all control. Come shoots down his throat, Dean totally unprepared. He hauls off the other man’s cock, spitting seed onto the floor while more coats his hair and face.

Sam keeps screaming. “Why are you doing this out here!” he says, back facing them. Frozen outside the kitchen like a guard. “We eat here – we make food here! You two… why? Why?”

Dean remembers. He and Sam were in the middle of watching a movie in the Dean Cave. Nearing the end, Dean’s bladder could barely wait, and he paused the movie. Left Sam while he scurried off to the bathroom. When finished, Dean figured he had enough time for another beer.

Except Castiel was an unexpected obstacle.

“Sam,” Castiel says, curled over, pulling jeans and underwear over his soft dick again, “Sam, what are – I’m so sorry. We’re sorry –“

“No.” Sam points, as best he can, at them. “No, I… I need space. I need time. I need… a drink.”

Castiel shrugs. “There are some in the fridge –“

“Not those.” He sighs, turning partly towards them. Enough for his forehead to rest against the doorway. Eyes screwed shut, he continues. “I think I’ll be seeing that for the rest of my life… I’m – I am going to get drunk. Very drunk. And, if I still remember this in the morning, I will be looking up spells. In the meantime… clean yourselves up.” Sam speeds off, the sound of his steps trailing after him.

Dean wrings his hands, the burning fire in his gut smothered by Sam’s interruption. It’s a low-burning ember. He intends to keep it like that, along with what’s left of his dignity. “That was… that sure was something,” he says, “really… something.”

“Dean…”

“We probably should start cleaning up…” He still sits on his knees. Dean tries standing, except a slight pressure on his chest stops him.

Castiel lays a foot over his heart, smirking. The layer of blue in his eyes thinned further, barely a speck of color left. Dean is shocked into silence. “I enjoyed what we did very much, Dean,” Castiel says, head skewed to the side, “Did you?”

Taking longer than Castiel liked, Dean feels the weight on his chest increase. Knocks him back on his knees. “I – I did,” he tells Castiel, “I really did.”

“I can see.” Castiel’s gaze draws Dean down where his own cock rests, surprisingly half-hard.

His foot pushes on Dean again, and suddenly his ass soaks in the beer-cum puddle. “What are you doing?”

“Sam said he’s going to get drunk,” Castiel says, not letting up with the pressure until Dean’s back is on the floor and he stands over him. “And will, most likely, avoid this place until tomorrow morning. Meaning we have as long as we want before we need to worry about cleaning.” He pulls his foot away, a stain of his arch and toes drying on Dean’s shirt. Castiel lowers himself over Dean, lips an inch away from his. “Since we’ve already made this much of a mess… what’s a few more?”

Dean huffs. His smile blossoming without choice. “That makes perfect sense.” Then he leans forward and kisses Castiel, tongue slipping past and meeting his. Somehow the flavors there mix with the taste of him already in Dean’s mouth, a firework of Castiel exploding and causing every nerve in his brain to melt into goo.

When Castiel pulls away, Dean whines. His hands lazily tug him back, Castiel chuckling while he swats at them. “Relax Dean,” he says, brushing a thumb at the exposed skin above his hip. Castiel kneels between Dean’s legs, grinning. “I’m still here. Just thinking it’s only fair that I have as much a taste of you as you had of me.”

Dean whines further, “Blowjob can wait… Wanna kiss –“

“Dean. Who said anything about a blow job?” Castiel fiddles with the zipper on Dean’s pants, hiking one leg up over his shoulder.

Dean hauls the other one over Castiel’s adjoining shoulder, kicking at his tightly laced boots. “Kissing can wait.”

Castiel pulls at a lace, helping Dean with his right boot. After it hits the floor, Castiel presses a light kiss on the sock-covered ankle. While he works on the left boot, Dean hauls him closer and digs his heel into Castiel’s back. He chuckles, “Pushy…”

“Less being an ass and more ass kissing…”

“As you wish.” Castiel undoes his jeans. Dean watches him through hooded eyes, at peace on the kitchen floor. Even when he feels the remnants of the beer not soaked up by his clothes touch his exposed ass, Dean barely squirms. The mess doesn’t matter. What does is pressing butterfly kisses at his fluttering hole while a finger circles it. Dean sighs, and what was left of his mind fades into the comforting static of bliss.

They absolutely fail to meet Sam’s deadline next morning.

#supernatural #spn #supernatural fanfiction #spn fanfic #dean winchester #castiel #sam winchester #destiel #deancas #destiel fanfic #deancas fanfic #destiel smut #destiel pwp #interrupting moose #inspired by yesterday's gag reel ;)#title is also a link

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skzluvs · 4 years

Text

Crimson Roses 🥀; Kim Seungmin

Genre: Vampire Au! College Au! Angst; Fluff?

Warnings: Mentions of blood, Mild swearing

Word count: 3.6K

A/N: It was supposed to be a quick little drabble and became a whole ass fic. All I have to say is vampire concept seungmin HOT

He observed you from the corner of his eye.

There you were sitting on the first row with your materials spread out on the desk, taking notes as your life depended upon it.

He knew how interested you were on all those past events, on the ones we tend to call history because they change the course of living.

He found himself lost on your endearing figure. On the way you tried to blow the hair falling on your face but failing during the process, frowning at the distracting tingling sensation on your forehead. He smiled to himself wishing he could be the one that could brush your hair away softly.

But that was impossible.You were definitely too kind

And He... He was just a simple evil creature that had lived longed enough to know that falling for a mortal would be nothing more than a death sentence

An a crucifix to his heart.

The voice of his professor interrupted Seungmin's thoughts.

"Before you leave, we are getting closer to the end of the semester Which means you'll be assigned a project that is worth half of your final grade, It'll be a partner assignment and you will have a week to turn it in" He informed to all the students. The classroom exploded with all source of complaints from everyone who was not happy to say the least at the sudden notice.

"Are we allowed to pick our partners" You asked raising your hand. It's not like you had someone you already wanted to work with in mind; more like you could absolutely take advantage of this opportunity to pair up with Lee Minho. He was the top of your class, partnering up with him would undoubtedly mean securing that grade. And you needed that.

"Unfortunately for all of you I've already decided on that" He replied raising a list with names on it.

He began to call one by one, making the teammates move around to sit together by their announced partner. You were tapping your foot impatiently. This assignment played a crucial part on your final grade therefore you were scared your partner would not contribute enough for you to get a passing score.

" Y/L/N Y/N and Kim Seungmin" He said handing you a piece of paper with the prompt and expectations written on the back of it.

You lifted your head, getting rid of the air you had been holding on your lungs. Your eyes scanning the room. Making eye contact with him for a second, his eyes staring directly at your soul. You turned around quickly; a rosy blush spread over your cheeks.

You knew nothing about Kim Seungmin, besides he was drop dead gorgeous. He had this mysterious aura that was attractive. He was certainly not the bad boy type; He was more reserved, only hanged out with his close group of friends.

Who you had to admit they were all extremely cool.

Seungmin almost lost his bunkers when you were assigned as his partner for that stupid historical events project.

He knew everything about history. He lived through it; from the renaissance to the post modern movement. Seungmin had been around for at least 1000 years.

To say that living for so long had become nothing less but boring would be an euphemism. Because it was. He had gained experience and power through the decades. But it was no longer exciting.

Until he found you. You were the one who acted magnetically with his heart an undeniable attraction that made him stay for the first time. Seungmin was known for being playful. Never sticked around for long because he found humans despicable. He was not too fond of them. But his perspective changed completely the day he first saw you.

It was probably because you were not human like. With an overwhelming beauty and high manners. In all of the years he had lived on earth, he never met such a sublime soul like yours. So Breathtaking and admirable.

You stood up from your chair with a panting breathing walking through the aisle, all the way to the back to his usual seat. You were more than nervous; Seungmin's presence truly intimidated you.

You sat next to him and offered him a smile. Hoping the atmosphere between you two wouldn't be as awkward.

You expected him to be quiet most of the time as you was trying to come up with ideas for the project. However it was the total opposite he kept on engaging on the conversation. It felt comfortable how he carefully listened to you and instantly agreed with your opinion. Surprisingly he knew so much about the topic; more than you ever imagined as the few times you spared a glaze at him during class he seemed to be doing everything but paying attention.

After discussing your main subtopics you decided it was enough work for one day, and decided to set a schedule to work on the other parts of the project outside of school.

" We need to meet up to work on the presentation" You said looking through the papers to were holding on your hands.

He looked at you with adoring eyes. You looked so cute when you were concentrated.

"Definitely, where do you want to meet at?" He asked you smiling.

" What do you think about the coffee shop down the street? I can bring my computer so we can do it digitally unless you are old fashioned and prefer to work on a poster we can do research on the library" you said shrugging your shoulders.

" Y/N you did not just called me a boomer"

" I mean if the term fits you then" you said laughing.

" Back in my days, youngsters were respectful towards their elders" He said in a grandpa like voice.

" We are the same age!!!" You yelled at him unable to control yourself from laughing at his impersonation.

Or at least that's what you think; He said to himself.

" We are supposed to deliver history through this project don't you think Y/N I say we should do it the right way"

" You are right everyone is probably going to go down the easy road but we are smarter" You said getting excited; reaching your hand to high Five him. "Great minds think alike"

" I can assure you we are going to beat Minho's and Jisung's project"

You had to acknowledge Seungmin and yourself made an amazing dynamic duo. You were content at the selection of your partner and definitely had to thank the professor for it. Because you two clicked with such effortlessness.

The bell ranged and you had to say your goodbyes to go into your next class.

You were standing by the door ready to leave but you turned around quickly to yell at Seungmin.

" I'll meet you at 5 inside the library and you better be on time boomer" you said with a playful smirk

Wanting to mess with him; gaining a loud laugh from your partner. pretending to act offended crossing his arms.

Seungmin went to the library earlier than the time you had set. He rushed his way there, right before excusing himself from his group of friends who were going to hangout after class.

He wanted to pick up a few books for you; he thought you would find them interesting.

He scanned the aisles, holding with one hand a pair of hard cover books that were just as dusty as the coffin where he used to sleep in, during the counter reformation.

He sat at a table and laid the books, shifting uncontrollably in his seat, from time to time, observing the clock, waiting for you to come through those doors.

Hell, you were fucking late. And you regretted taking that extra time looking through your closet; trying to find something decent to wear. Is not like you were to meet Seungmin for a date, it was a simple study session; however for some reason you wanted to look presentable. He always looked good no matter what. Which was totally unfair.With that leather jacket and fitting tight pants that made him long taller. Your mind wondered for a second. And you began to question yourself if you were starting to develop a small crush on the pale boy.

You were walking as fast as your feet allowed you. Through the hallways, your high heel boots were making loud noises every time you took a step forward. The dress you wore lifted a couple of times due to the wind. Your hair was probably entangled from running the couple of blocks from your apartment back to campus. Your shoe selection had definitely became a nightmare to your now bruised feet.

Your hands were sweaty and you had to remind yourself. " Y/N this is not a date once again you are just stuck with him for the project stop being delusional" you said trying to calm down. Taking a deep breath before pulling the door to enter the library.

You tried to fix yourself before spotting Seungmin sitting on the back. He smiled with relief at your sight. You couldn't be more awkward by sending him an effusive wave. " What's all this" you asked pointing at the pile of books laying on the edge of the table. "Just some research materials" He said.

" We are going to be here for a while then..." you said jokingly lifting a book from the stack. Leaving at least 10 more underneath.

" I don't mind as long as our project comes out good" He replied to you brushing his head to the side.

What he actually meant was that he didn't mind as long as he could spend the most time with you as possible. He didn't even gave a single care about the goddamn project, all he wanted was your company.

You two began to read the old books; most of them focused on events that happened during the 17th and 18th century.

Seungmin was almost falling asleep when you suddenly jumped in excitement next to him.

" Look Seungmin!" you said and began to quote the reading out loud "On the baroque era there were myths about vampires who attacked its victims during the night draining their blood as a food source."

" Let me see" He said taking the book in his hands. Reading word for word and For his surprised It had to be a fucking article about undead creatures specifically Vampires. How lucky seungmin got with that one. "You don't believe on those things do you Y/N" He asked curiously awaiting for your response.

" I mean; I do believe that there could be creature such as vampires out there. I just don't believe in all those tails you know, the ones that over romanticized or demoralized their existence. In my opinion vampires are not blood-thirsting bats. If they do consume blood it must be because it's their only food source they can't fight against those Instincts. It'll be like going against natural selection. They do what they can to survive"

Seungmin was more than pleased at your explanation. He couldn't contained himself from looking you with sparkling eyes and a huge smile plastered on his lips.

It made him happy that you weren't into that cliché bullshit like Bella and Edward type of fantasy. That even if you didn't knew the whole spectrum you still had a pretty clear understanding of his lineage.

Your words made his heart warm. He did an introspection on the reasons why he liked you so much; to begin with you were understanding like no other, you never judged anyone based off looks, you spent your time getting to know them first, smiling kindly at everyone and never seeking for recognition but always helping out of selflessness.

In Seungmin's eyes you were all he always wanted a person so pure like you was impracticable to find somewhere else. He thanked for the timing being right for him to meet you, because after all these years living in vain, you were the only one and he was glad he waited everlastingly to be with you right now, in this moment. He will treasure it forever in his heart.

The weeks passed by and Seungmin and you got to finish the project, a perfect chronological detailed poster that contained every important event through history. Your presentation was to say the least the best one among all your classmates even Lee Minho's and Han Jisung's was not even half as good as yours. Your grade boosted quickly with that perfect score.

And you had to give most of the credit to Seungmin he provided most of the facts you were utterly impressed at his range of understanding history so well. It was as he knew better than all those books you spent hours reading. You called him a true intellectual.

The things with Seungmin changed after the project. You could say you got closer to him than to any other person.

Your friendship with him began to shift towards a completely different direction the morning he came early holding a white rose, on its stem a little note wrapped around it.

He still remembers the blush that covered all your face when he handed it to you. You were truly speechless. You almost cried at the middle of the classroom due to the poem he had handwritten for you.

" Your fragrance just as sweet as the one the roses give off when they're cover in dew

Blissful sight at the sunshine caressing your filaments

You're the flower I carefully picked out from the field

The only untarnished one

You natural beauty worthy of being preserved

I’ll water your roots everyday just tell me you’ll stay with me even if the rain overflows our pot "

From that day onwards. He gifted you a white rose every single day and you never knew why. But you loved it so much. You made a bouquet with all of them and kept them safe in a vessel displayed as a centerpiece on your kitchen table.

He truly believed white represented your purity

It was a shame he had to stain your soul

That he tinted the petals scarlet.

It was dark outside on a night where the ‘blood’ moon eclipse appeared in the skies. And in the shadows there was something that challenged Seungmin's own instinct.

It was part of his nature.

How he was able to smell the candid scent of your blood despite the distance

It was endearing almost hypnotizing for him.

A battle for self control.

Where he wanted to paint white roses with the deepest red.

Seungmin called you during midnight you answered without hesitation as his name appeared brightening your phone screen.

Heaving breathing's was all you were able to hear through the other line.

“Min is everything okay? Why are you out of breath I'm getting worried” it was unusual for him to call you at this hour, your heartbeats began to increase at his response. “Can we meet now? I'm on my way to your apartment” His voice was low. You never heard seungmin talk like that with such desperation. It sent shivers down your spine.

“Of course but tell me did you got in so kind of trouble” You asked with a preoccupied tone.

“I'll explain everything to you once I get there” He said hanging up immediately.

He was scared at the mere thought of you finding out

He wouldn't be able to handle the terrifying look on your face at the sight of his fangs.

He always lived with ease in between humans

He had adapted himself into their characters creating the perfect facade. He did it all for you.

Going back to this college life was definitely not his style but you made him stay. Life finally made sense the moment he saw you and now he had to reveal his true identity because you didn’t deserved to be lied to. No matter the outcome. He would have to face it.

When he reached you apartment his pale face was almost translucent. He gathered all his courage to knock on your door.

You rushed rapidly opening the door; with worry eating you inside. The first thing you noticed was how dark his eyes were, his pupils were almost completely dilated.

You quickly wrapped him into a hug. You didn’t knew what was going on but you were here for him regardless. You were always going to be there.

“Let's take a walk” He said out of nowhere. Intertwining his hand with yours and leading you outside.

It was dark and the moon was shining brighter than ever before. You walked through the streets without certain direction just enjoying each other’s presence.

Your reassuring smile seemed to calmed Seungmin down.

“I have something to say to you, but before I do you need to know that I like you, that I've been in love with you since I first saw you and that what I'm about to say doesn't change a thing” He said stopping your tracks, your face almost collapsing into his chest. You were standing face to face with him.

“I like you too seungmin... “ You couldn't think properly because there was something else behind it, something that could change your feelings towards him. The true reason behind his so blunt sudden confession.

You knew Seungmin. He wasn't the type that seeks for trouble that's why you just couldn't wrap your head around what exactly was he hiding from you.

“I- I am a vampire” He stared at you with bloodshot eyes while letting his fangs slowly come down his teeth. He lowered his head frightened at your reaction.

You were in a state of shock. Rubbing your eyes multiple times at the sight in front of you because it was truly unbelievable.

You had to regain your posture before speaking again. You were experiencing a difficulty at making your words exist your mouth.

“That doesn't change anything seungmin, I might be going crazy, Fuck. You just said a vampire. I love you nonetheless because I fell for Kim Seungmin. I don't care if you are a vampire, a demon, a demigod, I'm in love with you because you are you. And now that you know that I reciprocate your feelings something tells me this comes at a higher price” You said breathless.

“It does Y/N we cant be together I have instincts that can't be controlled... it's getting harder everyday not wanting to you know” Not even able to finish his own sentence because it was embarrassing enough.

“Bite me?” You said lifting his chin from the ground “look at me... Min you want to bite my neck?” You asked straightforward.

“Yes” He said in an inaudible tone.

“What does that mean, what happened if you actually do it, do the things I read from the article are actually true” You asked biting your own bottom lip until you savored the metal flavor of your own blood. The one seungmin desired to have a taste from.

“No Y/N. I could never do that you. You are just too beautiful and flawless you don't deserve to get ruined by me”

“Stop treating me like I can't take my own decisions seungmin I know exactly what I want” You snapped back at him.

“You don't know what you are talking about is way more than just transforming you'll have to serve to the underworld in perpetuity”

“You have been alone long enough seungmin let me stay by your side. I want to immortalize this love

And be with you for the rest of the eternity”

“Just bite me seungmin I beg you” you implore to him, decisively pleading eyes.

You wanted this like you never wanted something else more in your whole entire life.

That’s all it took for Seungmin’s body to wash over lust. He places his mouth in between the crock of your neck trailing soft teasing kisses along the way. Right until he found that sweet perfect spot. The one that drove you completely insane.

You let out an agonizing scream. Filled with both pain and pleasure at the same time, when his teeth was incrusted without a warning sign tugging at your sensitive skin. He savored every single drop of blood that instantly began to drip from the laceration down your neck.

You began to convulse. Your body shaking and veins popping out from your skin. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head almost unconsciously.

Your soul transforming into pure immorality and immortality. Reaching an inexplicable climax that threw you over the edge. An overwhelming feeling that carried iniquitous power.

When you came back still too fragile to stand with your own feet. You were no longer a human being. Your fangs and sinful eyes and ghostly complexion gave out for finalizing the end of your transition.

Seungmin carried you in his back. You were now forever his. While he took you back to the apartment you dared to ask him something that had been lingering on your mind.

“So all your friends are vampires as well” You said intrigued.

“ Yes all of them” He said clearly laughing at your weird unexpected question.

“Even Jeongin!?” You couldn’t believe the cutest student could possible be a vampire.

“ Even Jeongin” He responded making you gasp in a shocking manner.

“ How... He’s like the most adorable thing on earth I don’t understand” you said whispering in disbelief.

“You mean on hell he’s good at pretending but that kid is nothing but pure evil”

Kissing your forehead and whipping your sweat, you looked exhausted but yet still beautiful as always. He laid you down on your bed. Playing with your hair. He would take care of you as he promised with all those flowers he once gave you.

That were no longer white but crimson roses.

#I totally got carried away with this one #stray kids imagines #stray kids vampire au #stray kids angst #stray kids fluff #stray kids school au #stray kids au #kim seungmin #hwang hyunjin #lee minho #bang chan #yang jeongin #kim woojin #lee felix #han jisung #seo changbin #stray kids blurbs #stray kids scenarios #stray kids

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boilinghunter · 4 years

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Is he your angel too?

AO3 | 1.5k

At first, Dean -- this alternate Dean, HunterCorps, Trust Fund D. -- didn't really digest what had happened to him. Neither he or his brother really felt the weight of what they had escaped. Too caught up in the excitement that they had actually managed to escape into a different universe, too numb to feel the shock of something so horrible.

Some weeks after living in this new universe, it really, finally hit them. Everyone they knew, everything they knew was gone.

Sure, being told that their universe was destroyed by God was one thing, but understanding such a concept was another hurdle.

It started small. They had no money. No cards and such worked here. HunterCorps' resources couldn't bail them out this time, and John was long gone. Bobby of this universe had died some time ago, and the Bobby that was still here was a whole other can of worms. Traveling in this forsaken world where so many different decisions shaped their environment only served to highlight how out of place they were.

It wasn't too long before the Winchesters of this world heard back from their alternative selves, asking for help, for they had nothing else and no place to go. It was Sam and Cas that ended up convincing Dean to let them in for a time until they could get the two back on their feet and adjusted.

D. -- our trust fund alternative Dean -- sits at the dining table across from our normal Dean, contemplating. He had many questions to ask, but understood that Dean wasn't the patient kind. But he has to ask, he has to ask because every time he sees the angel pass by in the Bunker, making it apparent that they all lived together, something in him churns and broils, and he can't stand the feeling.

Eventually, Dean notices, looking up from his laptop when D. wouldn't stop flipping a bottle cap against the table. His skin crawls at seeing this distorted reflection of himself stare.

"What's wrong?" Dean asks bluntly, eyes darting over the man's face and the cap in his hands.

D. fumbles with the cap. "... A lot," He admits, suddenly not wanting to look at him. He can't tell if it's because the pain of loss was still prevalent, or if because he was embarrassed.

"Apparently," Dean replies, rubbing his face. He pauses for a moment, deciding, then closes his laptop to give the man his attention. "Alright, let's just do this. Talk to me."

D. backpedals. "You know what, it's probably not a big deal--"

"Buddy, I've been through literal Hell and back, I've seen shit you wouldn't even believe, but not my whole universe dying," Dean says, shaking his head. "Regardless of whatever... of however the hell Dad raised you, we're still the same guy, and I know for damn sure things only get worse for us when we don't talk. So, talk."

Funny enough, the bluntness of how this Dean spoke reminded him of his father. Meeting his eyes now, D. could draw even more parallels; this Dean is filled with scars, his skin different and coarse, hands calloused, crow's feet etched deeper into his face than his own, and his eyes -- those eyes carried the weight of the world, a burden he previously only saw in his father's eyes and those of veteran hunters on their last legs. Of soldiers, even. Life on this world did not treat him well, and it was no longer fascinating to be in a different universe.

But still, this Dean had many other good things in exchange, so he has to ask --

"... You guys said your dad died in this world, right?"

The question catches Dean off guard for a second, but he seems to shake it off. "Yeah, a while ago. He wasn't as goody two shoe perfect like yours if that's where this is going."

"So I've gathered. But, no, not my point, I just..." D. leans in, his voice a bit quiet when he finds the guts again to speak, as if imparting some great secret. "If he's not around, does that mean you got to be with... you know?"

D. makes a gesture Dean doesn't quite understand. He furrows his brows, holding a confused hand out. "... you know?"

D. grimaces slightly, drumming his fingers and pointing his head towards the hallway. "You know? Him?"

Dean doesn't want to answer. He feels something in him flip as his mind puts together the question, but he decides to pretend he doesn't understand. He's misinterpreting this, perhaps, and maybe this question is just--

"With Castiel." D. finally clarifies, and when Dean looks back up at him, there's almost a desperate expression on his face.

Immediately, Dean finds himself defensive. He chokes out a dismissive laugh, waving him off. "What? What are you -- Buddy, I don't know what kind of--"

"He lives with you, I noticed," D. continues, resting back into his chair. "You all have this... family. Sammy's here, Castiel's alive -- you guys even have a son --" He lets out a sigh, shaking his head. "I had to hide this stuff from my dad. But you..."

Dean's heart stops for a moment, registering the words spoken. D. had been talking about his life in his universe, sure, but never anything personal, always just the broad strokes of their successes and accomplishments, things that made Dean feel more disconnected and able to think of the other man as just a stranger, and not some weird version of himself. Considering how different things were, he didn't even stop to wonder if Castiel had been in this other life, and what he must have been like --

"... Me?" Dean looks around, as if expecting someone to walk in on the conversation. He brings his voice to a hush. "No, I don't know, I mean -- you, ah, you... were with him?"

D. quietly reaches into his pocket, fishing out a black leather wallet with presumptuous sigils embroidered into it. He pops it open, sliding out a small photo that had been tucked away safely in it and sets it down for Dean to see.

His chest flares upon seeing it.

It's a relatively old photo, D. in a nice tux, a bright smile on his face and blurred confetti falling over him, and his arm looped around another. Dean gently pulls the photo closer with a finger, eyes trailing over the other man in a matching tux, unmistakably that of Castiel, planting a kiss on D.'s cheek. The photo radiates a pure joy Dean would only dream of, and he doesn't expect the effect it has on him, eyes stinging as the feeling of longing he'd always buried swung back full force.

"In secret," D. says, his voice strained. "Bobby, Sam, Ellen -- they were witness to our, ah..."

"Wedding..."

D. nods, cracking a sad smile. "Dad would kill me if he found out. It's been the worst secret I've had to keep. And I just... keep thinking about him. We already used his grace to help open this rift, and he didn't even..."

Dean can only stare. D. and his brother had come alone, but he remembers the comments he made about them all going together. Those two were likely the only survivors to make it, and D. was just lucky to be numb enough not to feel the loss immediately. Dean remembers the pain that haunted him when he couldn’t bring Cas out of Purgatory -- he doesn’t even want to imagine what his other self must be feeling.

"But he's alive here," D. manages to continue, searching for that silver lining. "He's... not as happy as mine, but he's here. And he's with you. I can take solace in that."

Even in this alternate universe, Dean loved that angel. Even in this other world he found love in the same man -- same angel. To say Dean didn't love Castiel, well, he knows he's been lying to himself, but it was always easier to repress it and focus on their work and end times and hunting and anything to keep his mind off these feelings that had been gnawing on him for so many years.

But this other Dean had everything, even Cas despite hiding it. He felt guilty, suddenly, that this Dean, who had everything, envied him.

Dean snaps out of his train of thought when he recognizes the body language change in the other man, watching as D. rebuilt walls around his ego and puts on a smile that says 'I'm okay'. Some things were still universal. "Well, sorry to bug you, guess I was just too curious. I uh, hope I didn’t make you feel weird, I realize I don’t know what... you guys are like here.”

“No, it’s okay, I think I just wasn’t, well,” He laughs a bit, scratching his neck. “Expecting that. I mean, it’s not a bad thing, I guess I just kind of...”

D. raises his hands his hands. “If I made you uncomfortable--”

“No. I think I just... wish I had that too.”

#dean winchester #huntercorp!Dean #huntercorps #au dean #destiel #supernatural #spn #spn fanfic #spn fanfiction #au destiel #castiel #trust fund!dean #trustfund!dean #god what does the fandom call this dean #anyways i wrote this with 2 hours of sleep #go easy on me

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talesofafangirlwithadvr · 4 years

Text

JULY PICKS!

You heard me correctly, I said JULY! Whoosh, this year is going by fast-but not in a good way if you know what I mean. This will be my last monthly wrap up where I am strictly staying home in quarantine as this upcoming week I’m heading back to work in person. Wish me luck!

We had quite the range this month from newly released, reality, musical and then some favorites from last month that I’ve continued watching. Without further ado here we go....

There’s going to be PLENTY of SPOILERS this go round. ESPECIALLY with my first pick of Stargirl. You’ve been warned!!!

DC’S STARGIRL

I need to talk about 1x10 or I’m going to burst!!! As stated above there will be A LOT of SPOILERS IN THIS POST!! So scroll down to the next picture if you don’t want it to be spoiled.

You’ve been warned...again.

IT CANNOT END LIKE THAT!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? Henry! Wow! 1) Epic fighting 2) The backstory and how he wasn’t going to give up on his dad AND THEN how he wouldn’t give into his dad. 3) HE DIED RATHER THAN JOIN HIS SIDE OR PRETEND (which I honestly felt was going to happen). His character arc and I can’t believe it’s over!!! 4) His speech at the end: *weeping.* I knew Brainwave was going to say he killed his mother. It just felt like the build up. Brainwave Jr. would have been a GREAT ADDITION TO THE JSA! AND OMG THE WAY THE REST OF THEM FOUGHT FOR HIM! I loved how they framed it so you could still see them in the back when Henry spoke to his father. Super heartbreaking. Man, it feels like a lot of people have been killed off this first season (or am I just still thinking about Joey?)

Side note: Check out the Instagram Live between father and son Brainwave on Stargirl’s CW page. Jake Austin Walker did an AWESOME interview in his take over.

This was one of the strongest episodes overall and definitely one of my favorites so far. I agree with many others that while it is SOO GOOD and I want to rewatch it again, I don’t know if I can emotionally yet. I can’t remember the last time I felt that way about a show.

Some other thoughts this episode: WAY TO GO BARBARA! Way to record them to translate later (such an awesome app btw, how do I get it?). I’m glad her and Pat came more to an understanding because I love them especially with that glimpse into how they met. Jordan’s parents give me the creeps, like the couple from The Visit vibes. I feel like Mike’s got to find out ASAP, especially because he’s spent time in the garage. Something’s got to show him the truth; because I’m really feeling he figures it out rather than being told. Very curious to see what his reaction will be. SOLOMON GRUNDY. Thank God Beth talked Rick down. She really is like Chuck in being the voice of reason. She did really well in the cafeteria too. While I still don’t believe Starman is Courtney’s dad, how cute was it when she put together her and Henry were cousins? Speaking of Court’s dad, who else didn’t feel like Starman was her dad until they saw that upcoming promo? I don’t know who that impostor is but he is not her dad. Something’s fishy.

Loving this show. So happy it’s renewed for a second season!!

THE 100

From a show I can’t get enough of to one whose final season is a disappointment. I’m not going to spend too much time talking about The 100 because I feel I’ll just be repeating myself from previous posts. However, I did want to include it because I haven’t spoken much about the previous 2 episodes that I wound up watching back to back and I didn’t overly dislike them.

As many have complained, when you have a final season you shouldn’t introduce SO MANY new characters and just push aside your originals (or the ones who are left). You also shouldn’t include so many confusing plots that are making it look like were the main points overall (like this many world concept was around since the first grounders) and playing with time in so many episodes is hard to keep up with too. Having so many people separated makes it difficult to remember what just happened to this specific group because I haven’t seen them in forever. ANYWAY, I did promise some positives. I didn’t except to like 7x08 because of it being a flashback episode with brand new people that was just going to feel like a potential spin-off pilot. Well...I actually really enjoyed it and the concept that the bunker was used before One Crew. The characters were easy to like and it was cool seeing Allie again (and this time not as the villain). While it felt forced including the orb (is that what it’s called? If not that’s what I’m calling it), but I liked how all the other pieces fit together (ex: the flame, the grounders’ language). Honestly, I surprise myself to say this, but I’d watch another episode. For 7x09, I liked being on Bardo and watching Octavia, Echo, Diyoza and Hope slowly get “brainwashed” I mean trained. We all knew it wouldn’t work for Hope and if I was them I would rather be on Sky Ring than Bardo (but then I guess I’d go crazy, so...) I enjoy the Octavia and Levitt relationship and would love them to work out, but if this show taught you anything it’s to be skeptical. I also want to shift to the Primes plot, just to showcase John Murphy for a second. THAT MAN! What a character development he’s had on this show. From the first season where I was like come on Murphy to now me awaiting his scenes. From cockroach to someone who won’t view himself as a hero. So good and something that is fantastic about this final season. They might have forgotten about other characters, but they’re doing it right by Murphy.

Well, that was more than I was expecting. ;)

THE CIRCLE

It feels like I haven’t watched a lot of reality TV this year, which makes sense because of our quarantine situation (but then again I’m watching World of Dance, but that’s a different because it’s more of a competition/dance show. I’ll stop rambling). The Circle is a reality ‘game’ show that could be easily completed during quarantine and social distancing because the contestants do not see each other in person. They each have an apartment in this complex and only communicate with each other on a social media platform called the Circle. The objective is to become the most popular and an influencer who gets power over who stays and who goes in the competition. There’s some side contests throughout, but most of the show is just people chatting through an insta messenger and trying to learn as much as they can. Alliances are formed and cat fishes try to thrive all for the grand prize of $100,000. (Wow, that’s a lot!) It is SUPER addicting and very funny. Having a voice-over narrator really makes it even funnier because she says what we’re all thinking. Just about every episode a contestant leaves and then is able to meet one other person in their apartment. It’s been cool seeing their reactions as oftentimes it’s someone they did not expect AT ALL. I can’t wait to finish it. If you’re a fan of Big Brother than this is definitely for you. Looks like there will be a second season, which I am excited about.

THE BABYSITTERS CLUB

Jumping from one Netflix show to another. Released on Netflix on July 3rd, I tried not to binge it all in one day because then it would be over (and we still don’t know if there will be a second season yet). This is definitely my feel good watch for July. If you want something that’s a quick watch and just wholesome and fun to escape our current world than this is for you. I always felt so happy after watching and couldn’t wait to watch another. While I was familiar with the franchise--the 90s movie and of course the books (although I was more of a Babysitter Little Sister fan, so I was very excited to see Karen), you don’t have to have any knowledge of the Babysitters Club to enjoy this show. I was hooked just about right away by this new series shown by me watching the first three episodes back to back. I really like how they set up each episode with one girl as the main focus (just like in the books) where she takes over the voice-over narration. Great representation and made modern to fit in with our current times. The first example that comes to mind is when Mary Ann babysits Bailey who is transgender. I liked how Bailey says those are her old clothes while they’re playing. It’s shown in a way that explains the situation without feeling like a lecture. It fits so naturally into the episode. And then Mary Ann’s speech at the hospital is super powerful for both Bailey and herself. This is just one example of how well represented this show is. Extremely strong cast and actresses who are the proper ages. I also love the adult casting and how they threw in a Clueless reference from Alicia Sliverstone (who plays Kristy’s Mom). As someone who is writing for this age group, I really liked hearing and seeing how authentic this show is.

FEEL THE BEAT

A Netflix original movie that has been on my list for a while that I just got around to watching. It didn’t come out too long ago. In the film, Sofia Carson’s character is a dancer who is a perfectionist. She gets on the bad side of a big NYC producer when she not only leaves her in the rain as she steals her taxi, but also knocks her, accidentally, off stage and becomes a viral video-this basically blackmails her in Broadway. This all happens within about the first 10 minutes of the film and the majority takes place back in her small home town (very Hallmark-like) in Wisconsin. While there her old dancing teacher wants her to share her Broadway wisdom with her young students. Meanwhile Carson has only been a chorus girl, so she doesn’t really have any. What draws her to helping the young girls is the chance to perform in front of a big choreographer that could get her to be the star she always dreamed of. The catch is that it’s the teacher dance in the childrens dance competition. While this might sound like a movie you’ve watched many times before, it was still worth it and a really fun watch. I think the kids really make the movie. They are adorable, funny and super talented. You feel connected with them really fast and want to see them succeed. I loved Dickie and how he joined the group. I think he was my favorite overall. I loved how inclusive the cast was here too (just like BSC) from a mixed race family, to single parents and even a student who was Deaf. It was great seeing the other actors sign to her. Carson’s character, April, can be annoying at times, but you understand it’s her character and something she needs to overcome. As I said before the plot may seem familiar, but the ending was something I didn’t see coming. Overall, wholesome, feel good and fun for the whole family. You can consider to watch while babysitting. (See what I did there??)

VIOLETTA SEASON 2

She’s back! I know last month when I included Violetta it was mainly me being excited to see the second season FINALLY streaming on Disney Plus. I had watched a few episodes (remember there’s 80 altogether, so even if I watched 20 that’s still very early on and just a dent in the season) and was still getting used to this season. Well, now I’m happy to report I am in the 40s and more than half way. For a bit I was watching many of these episodes a day, which told me that I was loving it again. Recently, I feel I need a little more of a push to watch, but it’s mainly because of certain story-lines that feel like they’re dragging. (For example: Violetta’s voice. One minute it’s fine and the next she’s like dying). For this section I have two words: LOVE TRIANGLES. And I’m not just talking about Violetta, Diego and Leon. For a bit it felt like each character had their own love triangle, which honestly I was loving. These characters have definitely developed a lot from last season, which allows this to happen. Olga was in a love triangle, which just recently got resolved. I think German is still in one because of his alter ego Jeremias. Jackie was “kind of” in one. For her it was more of a misunderstanding, which is very classic on this show. Lots more secrets have been uncovered in these episodes as well as songs! You know how excited I am for those. Overall, I think I’m still enjoying season 1 songs more (which get referenced enough in this season), but some of the season 2 ones are really growing on me. Specifically Leon’s Entre dos mundos and when he sings with Diego Euphoria in English. Also, Yo Soy Asi has been real catchy. I know Frederico will be coming back soon and I can’t wait to see him again!

HAMILTON

Like many I watched Hamilton this month-actually on the day it came out. It’s been a musical that I’ve been intrigued by, but never thought I’d get a chance to watch because of how popular and expensive it is to see on Broadway. So, I was very excited to hear I’d get the chance when it was to be released in theaters for a special event. Then because of Corona it was released to Disney Plus, which was EVEN more convenient and exciting. I really enjoyed it and watched it twice within the same week. I immediately downloaded the playlist and started singing it around the house. I do this a lot with many of the plays I see, but depending how good they are is shown by how long I listen to the soundtrack. (Some of my top ones are Bandstand, Once, Newsies and Anastasia.) Because there are so many songs in Hamilton it is taking me a little longer to know all the words, but I feel pretty confident with the first act. It was the perfect timing for this to be released on Disney Plus. Not only because it was July 3rd, but also because of the world we are living in. Lin’s diverse cast brings to life the world of 1776 and the revolutionary war (as well as the time after it), but it’s such a strong commentary on our world today. This is something I am continually noticing with historical dramas/pieces being released within the last 5-10 years. It feels like there’s more we can say in this genre than in a commentary piece. I also like all the analysis videos I’ve seen popping up, which just make it even more powerful. (Like it being Eliza’s story and her putting herself back in the narrative. That the play Hamilton is named for both her and Alexander.) I don’t know if all of what I see were intentional, but either way well done. I hope it doesn’t leave Disney Plus soon.

1917

And lastly, 1917. I promised quite the range this month and you can see that’s definitely the case. I always enjoy watching war films and with 1917 there was so much hype (both before it came out and after) that I was interested to give it a watch. Giving the movie to my dad for father’s day felt like the perfect excuse to be able to watch it. Even though our DVD stuck in a few places (still don’t know if it was the player or the DVD itself), the film was very entertaining and I would suggest it to anyone who is a history/film buff. Taking place in WWI, we follow two British soldiers as they attempt to deliver a message about an upcoming ambush that could take countless lives. I feel that I often watch more films revolving around WWII, so it was very interesting to be immersed in the first great war. After watching I am not surprised that the film was up for so many Oscars. While cinematography is the first thing everyone discusses when it comes to this movie (and it should be because the one shot/long shot is sooo impressive and beautiful to watch. It really brings you into the scene and has a way of making you feel like you’re there too. There’s a realness to it that’s raw and new compared to other war films I’ve watched in the past), there’s so much more to this film too. First, I like how it connects back to Sam Mendes’ grandfather, so while it’s not a true story it has real facts in it. I LOVE the score and music to this film. In the scene where George Mackay runs at night through those ruined buildings I could really hear how well the music worked with the action. Because of this I made sure to listen to some of the soundtrack and now I’ve added some of the songs into my writing playlist. I have chills just thinking about it. The other point I want to bring up is the cast! While there are SO MANY big names in this film from Colin Firth to Benedict Cumberbatch, the two main characters are played by George Mackay and Dean Charles Chapman and they are the ones with the most screen time. If their chemistry and acting wasn’t so great then the movie wouldn’t be as successful as it is. Because of this I have been watching non-stop YouTube interviews of the two of them for this film.

They are so well-spoken, stand-up guys and I can’t get enough of their dialogues with each other and others. (You should watch these interviews too). While familiar with Chapman’s time on Game of Thrones, I haven’t seen him in much else, so I’m excited to see what he’ll have in the future (as well as checking out his IMDB page). For Mckay, I’ve seen him before when I just watched Ophelia earlier this summer so that was my first time watching him act. After that film I was curious what else he was in, but it was only after 1917 that I started doing more research. So far, I’ve only been able to watch the short film he was in called Infinite. While only 17 minutes it was very strong and deep. I highly recommend. As I’ve shared on this page already, in another post, the more I hear him talk the more of a crush I am developing. It’s been a long time since I’ve experienced a celebrity crush this strong so soon. This quarantine has to end so I can make it to England to just casually bump into him like one does. :)

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