#luna introspection.

[dearjewels22]

be solid in who you are.

#know your worth #value yourself #high value mindset #shine bright #shine your light #self confidence #self worth #moon child #single life #solo dolo #solo #stand alone #mental health #stand out #one man band #me myself and i #life #quotes #inspiration #thoughts #inner thoughts #inspiring quotes #words #poetry #journal #self introspection #dear jewels #luna #yin energy #peace

[lilacrespite]

━━━━━ 🔮 Llorona Luna Brings the peculiar to pop at Crescent Festival 2023 .

Llorona Luna’s Crescent Fest performance was as much of a celebration of their career and all the people they attribute their success to, as it was a farewell to the Cry Baby moniker that has been a part of their performance art since her debut album. It’s evident that Luna has evolved into an artist more confident in not only her sound, but in the visuals that go along in the stories they’re telling. Unlike their previous albums, where the oddities were found primarily in their lyrics and the aesthetics were much more pastel and soft with slight alterations that left the viewer feeling unsettled, Portals goes leans into the strange and uncomfortable in every song and video we’ve gotten so far. If the performance at Crescent Fest is any indication, it’s only going to get creepier from here and we’re completely strapped in for the ride.

read more below / listen to the set list here / @nepofminspo

The stage was completely black as the opening vocals for Tunnel Vision came through and Llorona Luna invited us into their world for the next hour and twenty minutes. Once the lights go up timed with the beat kicking in, we’re able to see that instead of just a stage outfit, she has opted to perform in the same faerie creature prosthetics inspired by Guillermo Del Toro films, that we’ve seen in the Death and Void music videos. As cool as the four eyes, exaggerated ears, and scaly details throughout looked on stage, it did raise concerns for how their stage presence would come across as no one could see the upper part of their face behind the mask. But she was quick to quell those worries with the choreography. With the help of the dancers, they were able to use their body to express the energy to the audience just as well as her facial expression during previous eras had done. 

They don’t let up as Tunnel Vision ends and goes straight into Faerie Soirée, Womb, and Spider Web all from the Portals album. Fan favorite Show & Tell from K-12 and though the choreography is some we’ve seen before, she’s able to alter it in a way that better aligns with the more mystical story she’s telling now. Known for the contortions and body bending they’re able to do, she teases the audience with subtle tweaks to the Show & Tell choreo that leads into the intense body contorting they do throughout The Contortionist. Each bend is perfectly timed to the bone snapping effect on the track which was enough to make anyone flinch if you weren’t familiar with them beforehand. The backbending and arm twisting offer a beautiful juxtaposition with the waltzing happening with the back up dancers. When Field Trip rolls around right after we’d getting a stronger picture of the story Luna is stilling. The first part of this performance being about their journey as an artist. They come in strong with Tunnel Vision declaring how sure they are of themselves, and as we get further into the set we’re shown glimpses of her relationship with not only the fans but the execs on their team with songs like Spider Web and The Contortionist. Bringing in Field Trip brings us back to the core of who Luna is as an artist. A song that came out during the lull between K-12 and Portals but never performed until now. 

Finding that renewed confidence in themselves leads us to Lunchbox Friends. Certainly, a metaphor for keeping those who support them and bring out the best in them close against all the noise the industry can bring. An assumption that’s proven near the end of the song when Luna brings out close personal friend, Beena Kapoor, to perform the iconic final dance sequence of the song. There’s no hiding the smile on their faces as Luna let’s the audience sing them out and the two share a loving embrace. It’s the perfect set up for the pair that follows.

Her brother, Sebastán Dominguez Herrera, is introduced along with reggaeton master, Bad Bunny, to perform Otro Atardecer. An inclusion that could feel out of place for casual listeners, but Luna has always taken great pride in being Latine and their culture. Bringing out Bad Bunny on a track they worked on with her brother was just another way to showcase how much they appreciate it. The three of them look like they’re having so much fun you almost forget one of them is in a complete creature costume by the end of it. Once the song ends and Bad Bunny exits with much love given to Luna, Sebastián stays and the pair perform the songs Heavy and Hush and it’s a pleasant surprise to hear just how well the sibling’s voices compliment each other. We’re sure the google search for Llorona Luna’s brother was at an all time high that night.

After discussing their friendships, Luna turns the focus to love with another fan favorite from K-12, High School Sweethearts. This segment leans more into an idea of misfortune in love with Notebook and Detention following but the tragedy of it helps to lead us into a full circle moment back to Cry Baby’s origin with Sippy Cup and Cry Baby following suit. The Cry Baby performance is a powerful goodbye to the story that made them, but also a reminder that the dramatics and leaning into the emotional is what led them to something so magical. 

They take us into the last four songs with a song never heard before; Milk of the Siren ( a hint at a deluxe album to come ? ). A dark track about taking down the men who have caused harm and not feeling bad about it. Its choreography is grounded in more classical/ballet moves which makes for a beautiful scene as lights flash and bodies drop with the vocoder on their vocals adding another disorientating layer. She does a great job in making the audience feel like they are following a siren song. Nymphology brings back the high energy choreography and the interaction with the audience is especially heavy. Being in the audience for the performance was its own treat. You could hardly hear Luna singing over the way everyone was screaming the lyrics at the top of their lungs with seemingly no end in sight. It almost felt like that should have ended the show, and as the dancers exited the stage it seemed like it would. But once Luna was up there alone the instrumental for signature ‘Into the Void’ opening lines started for Void.

It makes sense for them to be the only ones on the stage for Void considering it's the one song on the Portals Album that they wrote and produced by themselves. It’s clear by the stability in their tone and the energy given to the choreography we’ve seen in the video, that Luna wasn’t using any dancer or band member as a crutch for her performances. She could have done that entire set by themselves and it still would have given the same stellar performance. Death is the final song of the set. A way to show that even if they’re still dealing with some of the anxiety discussed in void that they are back, rising from their little deaths every day, and are here to stay. The final line the audience hears from them is ‘ Please don’t ever worry, I know it’s morbid but we all die one day. ’ a reminder that they aren’t scared to kill off parts of themselves and reinvent themselves into something never before seen.

#THIS IS SO LONG #NO ONE HAS TO READ IT ACTUALLY LMAOOO #I JUST HAD A VISION AND HAD TO GET IT OUT #BC IM ANNOYING #DFIUHSJFKOUDSHIFJKODLPS #🔮 ⠀ ⠀ LUNA ⠀ ﹕ ⠀ INTROSPECTION . #nepofm.event005

[milo-the-crotonian]

Your Greens Eyes are but Makeup

In the field of my arid imagination

Stooped a branch of lime.

In the course of my fascination,

There was no presence of time.

I'm embraced by the Joshua tree;

Rough, tender bark- but unique.

Slipped off shy, distant agouti;

Light to my touch, my Angelique.

Puppets, for stagecraft;

Mannequins, the audience;

Pomegranate, she ate half...

Gawk at the decadance!

I dreamt of her dusky shores,

Veiled by the shadows of palms.

Serenading Luna on the lake floor,

Pluto tentatively thought of his qualms.

Your candor—your Audacity, Amor!

To strike love on the Radiant Light,

Beating—burning trails will follow her,

And limbs seared overnight....

#my poetry #short poem #original poem #poems and poetry #poetic #oc poetry #poetry #young poets #hades #pluto #greek mythology #luna #moon #green eyes #greek gods #free verse #late night introspection #apollo #daphne #laurel #unrequited love

[peace-and-light-poetry]

Sunny & Luna

She found herself Drawn to dolls but moreso To a pair of twins

One named "Sunny" And the other dubbed "Luna"

In them, she saw two halves Two halves of her being

At one point, she was like "Sunny" Optimistic and exuberant Even sharing similar interests

But that part of her died

Died and became eclipsed Gone was her "sunny" side What came was a husk

A shadowy husk of dimmed light

She became cynical and (less than) halfhearted A seething dislike of "sunny" people (Sunny, the doll, however, is more endearing)

Always in the shadows Practically unseen

At least, she'd muse, Luna's eyes sparkle. Though, the light in her own had dimmed

In a sense, she was divided in two The parts of her that died And the part that would eclipse them

The dolls are twins As different as their namesakes In memories, Sunny was the girl she was

And, currently, Luna is the girl she became

#rainbow high #sunny madison #luna madison #shadow high #notebook poem #musings #free-verse #revised #medium poem #then and now #doll collecting #introspection #reality subtext #written on the fly #written 1/3/2023

[tragedienes]

* mike’s mic vc * new character(s) alert! info for heidi, joaquin, and traci.

heidi lynn allshouse. 34. meteorologist for kllr abc10 fresno-encantadora, mostly for the daytime broadcasts. a self-proclaimed sneaky bitch. worked very hard to get to where she’s at, spent years doing the early morning show and getting up at two am to make to the studio by four (now she gets to sleep in!) until it nearly made her have a breakdown. now she’s got her eyes set on the primetime spot, which she deserves, then chief meteorologist after that. enjoys the attention she gets for her looks, checks the small subreddit dedicated to posting bikini pics from her instagram almost nightly. not always a sneaky bitch, though, especially when it comes to her younger half-sister, kirsty. a control freak obsessed with success, she’s got a problem with being happy with what she’s got. seems to always be getting engaged and then breaking it off. thinks her dependence on wine is cutesy facebook meme stuff, not unrecognized alcoholism. sometimes a total type a nightmare, sometimes the best person to have in your corner.

* introspection. heidi allshouse. / * narrative. heidi allshouse. / * visage. heidi allshouse.

joaquin bonifacio velásquez de luna. 21. prospect of the cucuys mc. grew up in encantadora, california, where his father was a member of the club. shortly after his older brother was patched, their father was killed in an atf shootout and mom decided to take her youngest and get the hell out of dodge (leaving alejandro back, as he chose the club over moving). spending most of his teenager years in puerto peñasco, mexico where his mother grew up, joaquin has recently cut the apron strings and come back to encantadora with one mission: join the cucuys. having his father die wearing a kutte, and his brother being a fully patched member (and his sponsor), joaquin, mostly referred to as cariño within the club, has a very long road ahead of him before he can actually call himself a cucuy... which basically means he’s got a huge chip on his shoulder, and just about everything to prove. mostly cocky, sometimes sweet. thinks joining the mc will make him a man and his late father proud, but is quickly finding out the shit they do is a whole lot darker than motorcycle enthusiasm. 

* introspection. joaquin velásquez de luna. / * narrative. joaquin velásquez de luna. / * visage. joaquin velásquez de luna.

traci deonna roebuck. 32. fish and wildlife agent. pretty much exclusively rereferred to by her last name, due to working in a male dominated field and growing up on a ranch, but those close to her call her tee. kind of a hard ass because she needs to be, though her friends and family are quite familiar with her vulnerable side. some might describe her as humorless, but that’s more of a defense mechanism than anything else; bitches get stuff done, after all. kind of a loner. spent most of her life around horses on her family’s ranch in wyoming. an avid equestrian and former rodeo queen, roebuck feels more at home camping out in the mountains with her horse than in some city. even though she’s in her thirties, she still lives at home on the ranch with her father and grandfather, her mother having passed away during traci’s birth. she tries not to get entangled in relationships, especially not with fellow wildlife agents, but somehow manages to fall in love anyway. a certified horse girl™️ and total nature nerd.

* introspection. traci roebuck. / * narrative. traci roebuck. / * visage. traci roebuck.

#* introspection. heidi allshouse. #* narrative. heidi allshouse. #* visage. heidi allshouse. #* introspection. joaquin velásquez de luna. #* narrative. joaquin velásquez de luna. #* visage. joaquin velásquez de luna. #* introspection. traci roebuck. #* narrative. traci roebuck. #* visage. traci roebuck.

[sensualnoiree]

TOTAL SOLAR ECLIPSE 🌑

The April 8 Total Solar Eclipse in Aries brings a potent new beginning, marked by intense energies and a focus on self-awareness and healing. The Sun, Moon, and Chiron at 19° Aries emphasize the need for self-care and addressing insecurities. The Mercury-Eris conjunction at 24° Aries encourages us to have courage in our convictions, supporting long-term themes and the development of new healing methods.

Emotionally, this eclipse may be intense, especially when Luna conjoins Mercury and Eris later in the day. The eclipse marks a time of establishing something new, initiating a new karmic cycle, and addressing past issues related to anger or missed opportunities for taking action. It's a time for personal transformation, akin to the energy of the Fool's card in tarot, where we are called to choose differently and embrace healing and change.

Aries Rising: This eclipse heralds a profound period of self-discovery and personal reinvention for you. You are being called to redefine your identity and how you show up in the world. Embrace your courage and pioneer spirit, as this is a time to boldly step into new beginnings and embrace your authentic self. The eclipse may stir up deep-seated desires and insecurities, but it also offers a powerful opportunity for healing and transformation. Use this time to explore your true passions and set intentions for a future that aligns with your deepest values and aspirations.

Taurus Rising: The eclipse activates your inner world, urging you to delve deep into your subconscious mind and spiritual beliefs. This is a time of profound introspection and healing, where you may confront past traumas or buried emotions that are holding you back. Embrace the opportunity to release old patterns and embrace a new level of spiritual awareness. Pay attention to your dreams and intuition, as they may offer valuable insights into your subconscious mind. Trust the process of inner transformation and allow yourself to surrender to the flow of life.

Gemini Rising: With the eclipse in your 11th house, your focus turns to your social circles, friendships, and long-term goals. This is a time to connect with like-minded individuals who share your vision for the future. Embrace opportunities to expand your network and collaborate with others towards common goals. Your aspirations may undergo a transformation, leading you to reevaluate your long-term plans and make necessary adjustments. Embrace the power of community and collective action, as you work towards creating a more harmonious and inclusive world.

Cancer Rising: The eclipse highlights your career and public image, signaling a period of significant transformation in your professional life. You may feel called to pursue a new career path or take on new responsibilities that align with your true calling. Embrace the opportunity to step into a leadership role and showcase your skills and talents to the world. Trust in your abilities and have faith that the universe is guiding you towards a path of success and fulfillment. This is a time to embrace your ambitions and take bold steps towards achieving your goals.

Leo Rising: This eclipse inspires you to expand your horizons and seek out new experiences that broaden your perspective on life. Embrace the spirit of adventure and embark on a journey of self-discovery and personal growth. You may feel called to explore new philosophies or belief systems that resonate with your soul's purpose. Trust in the wisdom of your intuition and follow your heart's desires, as they will lead you towards a path of greater fulfillment and enlightenment. This is a time to embrace the unknown and welcome the opportunities that come your way with open arms.

Virgo Rising: The eclipse brings a period of deep transformation and regeneration, urging you to release old patterns and embrace a new way of being. This is a time of intense introspection and inner healing, where you may confront deep-seated fears or insecurities. Embrace the opportunity to let go of what no longer serves you and embrace a new chapter of growth and renewal. Trust in the process of transformation and have faith that the universe is guiding you towards a path of greater authenticity and empowerment. This is a time to embrace your inner strength and resilience, as you emerge from the shadows into the light of a new beginning.

Libra Rising: With the eclipse in your 7th house of partnerships, relationships take center stage. This is a time of significant growth and evolution in your personal and professional relationships. You may experience changes in your relationship dynamics, leading to greater harmony and balance. Embrace the opportunity to deepen your connections with others and cultivate more meaningful and authentic relationships. Trust in the power of love and partnership, as they will support you on your journey towards greater fulfillment and happiness. This is a time to open your heart to new possibilities and welcome the blessings that come with deep and meaningful connections.

Scorpio Rising: The eclipse signals a time of positive change and transformation in your health and daily routines. You may feel inspired to adopt healthier habits and make positive changes to your work environment. Embrace the opportunity to prioritize self-care and well-being, as this will support you in achieving your goals and living a more fulfilling life. Trust in your ability to create positive change in your life and take practical steps towards improving your health and well-being. This is a time to listen to your body's wisdom and honor its needs, as you work towards creating a life of balance and vitality.

Sagittarius Rising: This eclipse sparks creativity, passion, and self-expression, urging you to embrace your inner child and indulge your creative instincts. This is a time of inspiration and innovation, where you may feel called to start a new creative project or pursue a new hobby that brings you joy. Embrace the opportunity to express yourself authentically and share your gifts with the world. Trust in your creative vision and allow yourself to explore new avenues of self-expression. This is a time to cultivate a sense of playfulness and spontaneity in your life, as you rediscover the joy of living in the moment.

Capricorn Rising: The eclipse falls in your 4th house of home and family, signaling a time of transformation and renewal in these areas of your life. You may feel called to create a more nurturing and supportive home environment for yourself and your loved ones. Embrace the opportunity to connect with your roots and cultivate a sense of emotional security and stability. Trust in the process of change and have faith that the universe is guiding you towards a path of greater fulfillment and happiness. This is a time to honor your emotional needs and create a home that nourishes your soul.

Aquarius Rising: With the eclipse in your 3rd house of communication and learning, you are being called to expand your mind and embrace new ways of thinking and communicating. This is a time of intellectual growth and curiosity, where you may feel inspired to start a new course of study or engage in stimulating conversations with others. Embrace the opportunity to share your ideas and opinions with the world, as your unique perspective has the power to inspire and enlighten others. Trust in your ability to communicate effectively and express yourself authentically. This is a time to embrace the power of words and ideas, as you explore new avenues of self-expression and personal growth.

Pisces Rising: The eclipse falls in your 2nd house of finances and values, signaling a time of reassessment and realignment in these areas of your life. You may feel called to reevaluate your priorities and make changes that align with your true values and beliefs. Embrace the opportunity to cultivate a deeper sense of self-worth and financial security. Trust in your ability to create abundance and prosperity in your life, as you align with the flow of universal abundance. This is a time to honor your values and invest in yourself and your future, as you create a life of abundance and fulfillment.

follow for more astro insights like this and support me over on yt @quenysefields or instagram sensualnoiree

#eclipse #eclipse season #solar eclipse #total eclipse #aries eclipse #spirituality #astrology #astrologer #astro #astrology signs #astrology readings #astro blog #astro community #astro notes #astro observations #astro placements #astro posts #astroblr #astrology chart #astrology fyp #astrology notes #astrology observations #astronotes #ancient astrology #astrological transits #astrology tips #astrological observations #astrology community #astrology blog #astrological aspects

[justleaveatnine]

pink in the night - matty healy. part three.

you join the 1975 on tour as an actress starring in the narrative portion of at their very best alongside the lead singer, matty healy. he’s got big ideas and wants to redefine what a concert is, blurring the lines between fiction and reality. on stage together each night, it starts to feel less and less like acting. but is it the same for him?

masterlist.

cw: none

wc: 8.8k

I am on a lonely road and I am traveling, traveling, traveling, traveling Looking for something, what can it be? I hate you some, I hate you some, I love you some I love you when I forget about me I wanna be strong, I wanna laugh along, I wanna belong to the living

You let out a sigh, erasing and rewriting the final line once more. Writing poetry has always been your personal form of meditation, preferring to contemplate your thoughts and desires through prose and lyrics. Carving out your flesh and blood with ink on the notebook's is the only form of self-introspection you know.

You keep trying to finish a poem you started weeks ago, but your mind won't think of anything other than flashes of black curls, calloused hands, and deep, brown eyes.

Self-indulgently, you grab your laptop and open up Youtube. Your fingers quickly type his name, and the results are instantaneous. You scroll through the interviews, compilations, and music videos, watching the images of his face dash across your screen. You spend most of the night listening to him speak, talking about his music, his life, his opinions. It feels like you could listen to him for hours. You let his interviews play on your laptop as you finish piling clothes into a suitcase.

You've spent the past few days packing, trying to compile your entire life into just two suitcases. You're about to spend the next two weeks at the Rock Lititz Studios in Pennsylvania, a concert and production rehearsal space (a concept which you did not know existed).

You stomach churns as you think about meeting everyone, this massive group of people you've never met who you'll be living with for the next few months. You are a social person, sure, but this is a whole new level of required extrovertedness. Other then your agent, the only people you interact with on a frequent basis are a few friends from uni and their partners. Your mind dwells on these nerves for the rest of the night as you try to tune them out with Matty's voice.

It takes longer than expected, but you finally manage to finish packing. You drop Luna off at your friend Leslie's, who has graciously agreed to watch her while you are away. She begs you to tell you just what artist it is that you'll be working for, but you want to surprise everyone. Particularly Leslie, who you know is a pretty big fan of the band. You smile to yourself as you imagine just how shocked your friends will be after videos of the first performance hit the internet. Especially the more…risqué videos.

You say goodbye to your flat, catch your flight, and as you touch down in JFK, you can practically feel your life in America on tour beginning.

—

When you get to Rock Lititz, you are greeted by a very stressed out PA who introduces himself as Lucas. His phone does not seem to stop buzzing, and he frequently picks it up while he speaks to you to fire off messages. He looks like he might explode if someone asks him to complete any additional task than what he is evidently managing. He gives you a thick stack of papers that he says contains your schedule, additional documents you need to sign, and a printed copy of the script for the show. He then hands you your room key, and you wonder if he is somehow running this hotel as well.

His phone buzzes louder than it had been, and after checking it, he apologizes and speed-walks away from you before you can even ask him a question. You're a little confused, but you make your way towards your room on the third floor. You throw your suitcase onto the ground and hop quickly into the shower, exhausted and feeling grimy after the hours on the plane. After a quick shower, you collapse onto the bed to try and make up for some of the lost sleep with the jet lag.

It barely feels like any time has passed before you wake up and notice the sky has gone dark. You groggily check your phone and see two messages from Matty a few hours earlier.

Lucas says you're here!!

You laugh as you realize one of his stressfully sent messages was alerting Matty of your arrival.

Come to the lobby bar for 8 we are having a pre-rehearsal party x

You like his message, and write back.

See you then!

You check and realize its already half past seven, and quickly pull an outfit out of your unzipped suitcase to change into rather than back into your airport clothes. You touch up your makeup, fix your hair, and begin to head to the bar downstairs.

It hasn't even hit 8 yet, but the bar is already crowded. You didn't realize it took this massive of a crew to put a concert tour together, and you are somewhat in awe. You head to the bar and order a drink, downing it quickly right before ordering another. You need the confidence to meet this amount of people. You begin to walk around as you nurse the drink in your hand, hoping to somehow spot someone you'd recognize.

A mop of black hair in the corner catches your eyes, and you smile as you watch Matty excitedly chat with someone just out of your eyeline, blocked by a crowd of people. Matty takes a sip directly from a wine bottle and turns his head, locking eyes with you.

When he notices you, you try to convince yourself that the way his eyes light up is just your brain playing tricks on you. He stumbles through the crowd, and it is immediately apparent that he is drunk. A dopey smile graces his face as he calls your name, and suddenly his arms are wrapped around you in a slightly too tight, but a welcome nonetheless, hug that leaves butterflies in your stomach. His face is buried in your neck. He smells like a mix of aftershave and the Marlboro Reds your college dormmate use to secretly smoke out your window when her chemistry classes became too much to handle. Part of you wants to bury your face in his neck as long as he'll let you, but he pulls away to talk at the same time your brain screams at you to have reason.

He gasps, movements exaggerated, as if he suddenly remembers something. "I have to introduce you to the guys!" He turns around and grabs your hand, and you hope he doesn't turn back to see the blush splayed across your cheeks. He drags you through the party, and you wonder just how much he must have drank to be this affectionate with you when you truly aren't that acquainted with the man you'll be preforming with just yet. That doesn't mean you don't want to be, though.

Suddenly, you are nearing with three men you recognize from your brief online searches about the band. You look over at Matty and he seems like he's bursting with excitement, like a kid in the candy store as he pulls you towards them. One of them has long hair pulled back into a ponytail, and is nursing a drink while sat on top of what appears to be a chair made of black concert equipment boxes. Beside him on a couch are two other men, one with bleached hair and the other bald. The bald one is showing the other something on his phone, and the bleached one is smiling, almost lovingly. As you and Matty approach them, he yells "Guys!" to get their attention, almost startling them.

He gives them your name, telling them, "She's who'll be doing the show with me!" He quickly looks between you and the men, desperate to read all of your reactions.

The one with the long hair says, "Oh, so you’re the poor girl he’s roped into this!" The other two men with him begin to laugh, and the drink you threw back before Matty came over causes you to let out a little too loud of a laugh as well. Matty sloppily hits him on the arm, exclaiming "Shut up, you prick," scoffing.

The long-haired man sticks out his hand towards you. "Ross," he says with a kind smile. You shake his hand back. You learn the man beside him with the bleached hair is named George, and the bald man is called Adam.

You aren't sure if its them or the alcohol, but it quickly feels like you've known them for ages. Adam's shows you videos of his son on his phone as you coo, drunkenly engrossed. You swear its the cutest kid you have ever seen, but it might be the alcohol talking. George and you get into a drinking competition that you quickly forget the rules to, downing shot after shot while laughing at each other. He is surprised you can handle as much as himself, being significantly taller than you, but your tolerance has been your party trick since the early days of uni. Ross is trying to explain something funny that happened to him at a petrol station the week prior but you both can't stop laughing, at what you are not quite sure, to even get a word in. It feels like its been ages since you've talked to Matty, but you are having such a good time getting to know the guys you can't quite bring yourself to be too upset. When you look around for him, you see him singing karaoke with the microphone in one hand, and a new wine bottle in the other. You laugh when he tries to sing into the wine bottle, and slowly realizes his mistake and switching back to the microphone.

You were so nervous to meet all these people, and you can't help but feel a little proud of yourself that you didn't make yourself out to be a fool. At least, you don't remember doing anything like that. Because when you wake up the next morning, you can't really remember much that happened after, or how you got back to your room.

You roll your face into your pillow and let out a groan, immensely hungover. Having a high alcohol tolerance in the moment unfortunately does not translate into hangover immunity. You pray to all the gods you can think of that when your recollection of the night ends, you simply walked yourself back up to your room.

You take your time getting out of bed, throwing back two pills and downing the rest of the water bottle you purchased at the airport. You don't need to be at your rehearsal until four in the afternoon, so you spend the rest of the morning and early afternoon unpacking, nursing away your hangover, and exploring the hotel. The hotel is aggressively music-themed, to the point where it almost seems comical. Every single piece of artwork has to do with music, and almost all of the furniture is decorated in fabric with music iconography. You can't help but laugh when you pass the ice machine that is shaped like concert equipment boxes, similar to the chairs from the party room. The hotel is connected to the rehearsal venue, and is filled with the touring crew and the band, everyone beginning to prep for the upcoming shows. By the time you head back to your room to collect your script, it is time for you to head down for rehearsals.

—

The first part involves meeting with the intimacy coordinator. She's a warm-faced older woman who is dressed very colourfully, draped in massive beaded necklaces. She introduces herself as Cathy, and you can't think of anyone with a demeanor more suited to their profession. You meet her in one of the hotel’s small conference rooms that is aggressively David Bowie themed, the extent of which makes you laugh internally.

Everything she tells you you already heard from Matty in your first meeting with him, but it feels slightly more professional and serious with her. The two of you go over all of your scenes with Matty, her ensuring you feel comfortable with each of the actions written into the show.

Your decision hasn’t changed since that day in the coffee shop—none of it fazes you. (As long as getting a little too lost in some daydreams about the two of you on stage doesn’t count as fazing.) This is one of the biggest creative challenges you’ve gotten to face, and you feel nothing but anticipation and excitement. There’s nothing that begins to take away the joy in acting than filming auditions for mind-numbingly dull scripts day after day until you can’t even remember the last time you truly felt passionate about a role. This is the role you've dreamed about, all aspects of it included.

After you finish going over everything and reaffirming your consent with the intimacy coordinator, you head to the arena to begin your actual rehearsals with Matty. The arena is empty when you enter. The house lights are off, and the stage is illuminated as if there is a show being performed. As you walk closer to the stage, you realize you aren’t alone. Seated in the middle of a couch placed near the stage on the floor is Matty, hastily writing something in a notebook.

Your footsteps echo in the quiet arena, and Matty turns around to see you walking towards him, and gives you a friendly wave and smile.

"Surprised you made it out of bed," he calls out, shutting his journal and placing it in the bag sitting on the sofa beside him.

"If I recall correctly, I saw you finish at least two bottles of wine last night, so no self-righteousness,” you call, arriving at the couch with a smile.

"Darling, I can easily neck two bottles of wine in a few hours," he snorts. "Every time I looked over, you and George were throwing back another shot until he was stumbling. And George can outdrink a horse."

"I had a fun time in uni, what can I say?" you laugh. "I might've been a little to focused on auditions and going out to care about my marks for those years, I'll admit."

"Well, it brought you here, so all the binge-drinking and benders were worth it then, yeah?" he teases.

"Alright, smart-arse. Enough about my drinking habits and more rehearsing"

Matty walks the two of you to the stage and shows you around the set. Just like the plans he showed you, it looks like a nostalgic and cozy home. There's pieces of furniture spread throughout, alone with a staircase that leads to an imaginary floor. You never seen anything like this for a concert, which makes sense considering this is far closer to a play than a regular concert. Matty is pointing at random details of the set and sharing their meaning with you. It shows how much he truly cares about the art and the performance to plan all these details that fans past the second row will likely be unable to see.

He leads you over to a wooden chair with a teal cushion. "Right, so this is where you'll be for the first song, Inside Your Mind."

You're sure he knows you know the blocking from your meetings with the intimacy coordinator and revisions of the script, but you let him continue anyways.

You sit on the chair. You look around the venue and realize that with no one else there, there's no way to play the music you'll be rehearsing to. You ask him if there's someone coming to run the tech.

"Oh, erm, I was just going to cue it from this laptop, it's all set up to connect to the venue speakers."

His face then flashes with slight alarm. "If you want me to I can go get someone, I didn't mean to assume, I just thought you might rather it just be us, I can totally get one of the venue staff—"

"No, no that's not it at all. I was only curious. Just us is good." You give him a warm smile.

"Please don't be afraid to tell me how you are feeling, I want to make sure you are comfortable with the whole process. If one of my fingers is even a centimeter too close to where you'd prefer it not to be, don't hesitate to kick me or something," he says with so much earnestness you let out a small laugh.

"I don't think I can promise that I'll kick you, but I'll be sure to let you know how I'm feeling. That goes for you too, you know. We're up here together."

"Right," he nods, reassured. "So I was thinking we just run through it first, and then with the track? Is that good?"

You nod in agreement. He lays out the script onto the table in front of you, and briefly reads it before looking back up at you. He steps closer so that he is stood right in front of you, back to the stage left side of the audience.

"For this first bit, I'm going to crouch and I'll have my hand on your knee. But make sure you don't look at me, keep your eyes fixed at some point in the distance, yeah?"

You hum in acknowledgment. He crouches down, almost on one knee. He raises his hand right above your knee, but doesn't touch it.

"Is this okay?"

"Yep," you let out a small giggle, raising your eyebrows. He smiles and places his hand on your knee. You feel goosebumps forming under your leggings, and mentally curse your far-too reactive body.

"So I'll do this bit down here, then I'm going to walk around you a little more like at the start." He gets up and walks behind you in a loop, returning to stand where he had sat before.

"Then after that is when I'll get close to you again. I'm going to stroke your face for the next line, is that okay?" He is being so clinical with everything that it’s almost endearing. His eagerness for your comfort and approval is a stark contrast to some of the shows you have worked on in the past, where your scene partners had little regard for your feelings about the contents of the script.

"Yes, it's okay Matty," you say with a smile, nudging his calf with your leg. Suddenly, his warm hand is on your cheek. He looks at you, focused.

"Okay, I'm going to pull on your hair now. Is that-"

"Matty," you laugh. "It's okay, really. I appreciate how clinical you are trying to be, but just do it for god's sake. I told you I'm okay with all of this, you don't need to be afraid of scaring me off," you say with a warm smile.

He meets your eyes and smiles back. "Fine. But don't think this doesn't mean I'm not going to announce everything else! I take consent very seriously!" he says the last comment with an air of put-on self-righteousness that makes you laugh.

"Just pull my hair, for god's sake!" you play-shout, cheeky.

The air leaves your lungs as his expression slightly hardens. He weaves his hand through your hair, and tugs. Your head is suddenly pulled back and up, looking up at him even more now. You can't turn with how tight his grip is. You swallow, a gasp caught in your throat.

"Is this okay?" he asks, face still hard with focus, but not unkindly.

You clear your throat. "Uhm-yeah! No, that's great. Just startled me a little bit." Your body feels like its on fire. You feel so aware of each of his fingers wrapped around your hair, pulled tight enough to position your head just how he wants you. Your mouth goes dry. You cannot be reacting like this to him just pulling your hair.

Pull yourself together, you admonish yourself. You did a play that involved a sex scene at the Edinburgh Fringe years ago and never felt anything even close to this once on that stage. Why now? You realize you've been staring at Matty without saying anything for a little too long, and try to ignore the voice in the back of your mind that says the pretty obvious reason for your reaction.

His hand that's not gripping your hair continues to rest on your cheek, moving his thumb slightly over your cheek. You ever-so slightly turn your head towards it, leaning into his hold. Your eyes are locked with each other. Your mind is foggy as you stare up at him. All you can think about is him, and his thumb stroking your face. Nothing else matters, nothing else could possibly matter. His brown eyes bore into yours, and you wish you could see what was going on behind them.

He's been stroking your face long enough that you think he might've lost track of time too. Is his heart racing as yours is? Is he thinking of anything else but you staring up at him, looking as if he is far more than just a man on a stage?

He slowly winds his hand out of your hair, and takes his hand off your face. He clears his throat.

"Sorry, my mind blanked for a moment there, don't know what happened," he laughs sheepishly. God, you hope he's lying.

The rest of the rehearsal goes off without another moment like this, no prolonged eye contact or indulgent stroking fingers. It's just another regular rehearsal. You make yourself make sure of it. (Ignoring the fact that every time he touches you, your heart feel like it might burst out of your chest.)

—

The rest of your time at the studio blurs by. You run through the show over and over with Matty until its second nature. You meet the rest of the band, and you and Polly immediately glue yourselves to each other when you find out you were at the same uni and managed to never run into each other, always staying on the edges of each other's orbit. You meet with Patricia, with whom you select your costume from a group of dresses she picked out. It's a gorgeous off-white dress with floral detailing on each of the sides, and you can't wait for the chance to wear it. The feeling inside of you is indescribable when you run through the show for the first time start to finish for the crew. They're all in awe. The show is amazing, and they make sure to tell you. It's going to blow everyone away, you're sure of it.

“You’re really gonna piss off some parents with this,” one of the crew laughs to Matty as you all are sat on the couches in the center of the arena, going through the lighting one final time.

“You know being provocative isn’t just about being on stage and spewing off stuff to make people angry. Which we all know I do to an extent, but that's not the point. This right here" he between himself and you rapidly, and you feel a blush forming on your cheeks, "this is actually provocative. This is the kind of shit that will make people talk, will make them reconsider what exactly a stage show is. And that's exactly what I want. This band has always been about pushing limits, and it feels like this is almost the only pathway possible for us, in the best way."

As you all head back to your rooms that night, anticipating for departing for the first show the next morning, the energy in the air is palpable. Everyone knows just what kind of show they've got on their hands, and they can't wait for the fans reactions.

You walk side by side with Matty as he tells you about some of the minutiae of touring. When there's a pause in the conversation, you begin to speak.

"So, erm, I just wanted to say to you that I know you've said stuff before about how when you're on stage, you can get really caught up in the moment and, erm, sometimes feel like you get carried away, or, uh," He looks at you quizzically. You're just rambling. You take a deep breath.

"My point is, is that I'm okay if you want to change stuff while on stage. Don't like, erm, slap me or anything, but I just mean you don't have to check with me if you want to do some of the smaller things differently. I'll follow your lead."

He stops the two of you. "Love, I don't want you to have gotten some idea that I get into some uncontrollable stupor on stage where I-"

This is a new nickname. Your stomach flutters but you try to continue without visibly acknowledging it. "No, god no, it's not that. I am just saying that I am okay with like, I don't know, grabbing my waist during one of the kisses, or you touching me more while you walk around me on the chair, without directly consulting me before," you rush out.

His eyes widen. Now he's blushing. He shakes his head slightly and clears his throat before beginning to speak.

"You said you've seen me talk about getting really into the performance on stage… have you been researching up on me, darling?" a sly smirk appearing on his face.

"You've seen my commercials, only fair I watch what I can of your stuff, no?" you reply with a matching smile.

He clicks his tongue. "Back to the, erm, the show. I don't want you to think you have to say this based on my interviews-"

"I promise, it's not. I just know we can make this the best show possible if I follow your lead up there. That's all I want to do."

He lets out a deep breath. "Alright then. I promise I will not slap you up there, or anything close to it." He holds his hand out for a handshake, a small smile forming.

"And I promise I will not slap you either," you remark, shaking his hand with a similar expression on your face.

"Careful darling, I might just have enjoyed that," he teases. You hit his shoulder lightly as you walk to your rooms, and try to ignore the fire dancing behind your cheeks.

—

You're sitting on the tour bus, driving to Uncasville for the first tour date. You are sat across from Matty on the couches. He's playing his Switch as George sits on his phone beside him, and you scribble in your notebook.

I am on a lonely road and I am traveling Looking for the key to set me free Oh, the jealousy, the greed is the unraveling It's the unraveling and it undoes all the joy that could be

You haven't had any inspiration to finish the poem in a few days, but sitting across from Matty, you hand feels as if it has a mind of its own, flurrying across the page.

He looks over at you. "What are you writing?" he asks.

"Nothing," you brush off, smiling to yourself. He hums and returns to his game. You look back up at him when he's not watching. He's jittery, but there's a peacefulness to him that is evident. His curls frame his face in a way that looks far too perfect to be real, yet your deep breaths and heart that beats quicker and quicker against your chest proves that none of this is in your imagination. His fingers move deftly across the controller, precision gained from years of playing guitar, you're sure. His alabaster skin stands out against the ink that stains him, and your racing mind thinks about what that skin would feel like against your mouth, how soft it would be to touch where you haven't yet, until a semblance of sense stops the thoughts in there tracks. You cannot be thinking about him like this. You refuse to let yourself indulge in the thoughts that fester in the back of your mind every time you meet his eyes. You will not let yourself be the naive young actress who falls in love with the first man she kisses on stage, unable to separate the art from reality in her mind. This is a show. This is your job. You won't let anything ruin this for you, not even yourself.

You look back down at your page and tap the pen against the paper, absentmindedly. You bite the end before continuing to write, trying not to dwell too hard on the man across from you who makes you want to write and write until your hand bleeds, fingers broken and covered in ink stains from the endless words. The feelings in the back of your mind bleed to the front, commanding your hand across the page.

I wanna have fun, I wanna shine like the sun I wanna be the one that you wanna see I wanna knit you a sweater I wanna write you a love letter I wanna make you feel better I wanna make you feel free

Your pen repeats the phrase on the page. Your heart beats in your chest, faster and faster and faster.

I wanna make you feel free I wanna make you feel free

— The chimes playing over the sound system stop. You take a deep breath. The show is about to begin. You are standing below the stage but behind the curtain, where various people who are apparently important enough to obtain backstage passes are milling about, nursing drinks and buzzing with excitement.

The band is behind the door at the back of the stage, waiting for the cues in their in-ears to go on. You've got some in as well, something you've never had while performing. You take them out to hear the audience scream, knowing you aren't needed on stage just yet and can enjoy the show.

You look up on to the stage. Matty is lying down on the settee, waiting for the curtain to drop. He sits up, and you panic. It'll drop any second now. He meets your eyes, and flashes you a smile. He gives you a thumbs up, and you give him one in return. The two of you are about to make this arena lose their goddamn minds, and you cannot wait a single second more.

You hastily gesture for Matty to lie back down, eyeing the curtain rapidly. He blows you an exaggerated kiss and lies his head back against the couch, missing you bringing your hand to your mouth to cover the smile forming.

The curtain drops. You hear the audience scream as they react to the set, and you wonder if they can see Matty pretending to be sleeping on the couch.

The streetlight flashes on with the music, and the cicadas begin to chirp. It's happening.

"Adam," you hear in your in-ears. The lights around the door flash on as he enters to the screams of the crowd. "Jamie," comes soon after, following him onto the stage.

You see Matty begin to rise off the couch, looking at the audience with a puzzled look on his face before putting his coat jacket on. You smile to yourself, knowing they have no idea just how crazy this show is going to get.

Matty walks over to the piano, lights a cigarette, and takes a seat. His hands rest on the piano. He plays, fingers hammering onto the keys.

The arena erupts into screams. Your heart is pounding so loud that you can barely even hear it. This is happening. The show has begun. In less time than you can count, you'll be on the stage again. You're grinning so wide it hurts your cheeks. Matty begins to sing.

Your reverie is broken by the voice in your in ears, calling "Ross." He walks onto the stage and grasps Matty's hand as he passes by him. The band's closeness was such a surprise to you, naively expecting the group held together by contractual obligations, tolerating each other to get through the shows. Seeing the four men be unabashed in their love for each other, both in public and in-private, was a pleasant shock to your system.

"George," the voice in your in-ears calls. As he sits down behind the drums, he shoots you a wink. You wink back, laughing. God, you can't wait for the rest of this tour. You haven't even gone on stage yet and you are having this much fun.

"Polly" comes next, and finally "Gabi." The whole band is on the stage, and you can't help but watch in awe as they begin to play together. You were never an avid concert goer, but you can easily see in this moment how someone would camp for hours on a street and stand in a crowd for ages, just to watch a show like this.

Matty sings the final line of the song and immediately stands up. He grabs his fire-red guitar, and walks to the mic placed at the front of the stage. He slings it over his shoulder as the intro for Looking for Somebody (To Love) rings out. Using the guitar as a gun, he aims first at Ross before methodically turning to the audience, crouching as he mimes shooting them. You laugh as it makes them scream even louder, the idea of death at the hands of the man they worship a welcome one.

He stands back up and runs onto the side table, playing the beginning of this song. Your mind flashes back to him telling you about writing the song, how it reflects his belief that the only vocabulary given to young boys to assert their dominance in any position is one of violence and destruction, and how online groups like incels foster and encourage it. He told you that the character he plays in the show is essentially one of these young men that he is singing about in this song. You told him back that he could have been a cultural critic rather than a musician. He laughed off the comment but you could see the slight red tinting his cheeks after your compliment, and it made your heart swell.

The song finishes, and Matty sits down on the chair. He thanks the crowd for coming over in an exaggerated, drunken voice that makes you laugh. He leans back, kicks his feet up, and begins to sing Happiness. He gets up, moonwalks across the stage, and dances around for much of the song. He never danced this much in the rehearsals. You are quite surprised at how good he is, not guessing he had much of an ability in that department.

Once the song finishes, he walks over to the stack of televisions and takes a seat in the chair. The audience will be seeing your face momentarily. A flash of nerves runs through you, even though you aren't even needed on stage yet. Your life is never going to be the same. You take a deep breath, squeeze your fists, and smile to yourself. This is everything you dreamed about, coming together all at once. The nerves edge off.

You look at the large screen showing Matty singing towards the televisions, and there you are. The videos flick between you and news clips, but increasingly linger on you. By the second verse, it is only you.

Matty sings to the screens, entranced. The crowd screams, and you laugh, imagining how confused some of them must be about the identity of this woman they have never seen before that Matty is singing to. He runs his hand down the screen, entranced.

He continues to stay at the screen until the instrumental bridge, when he stands and begins to wander in the middle of the stage. He sings a portion of the final chorus to the audience, but heads towards the television on stage left beside Ross, staring at the video of you intently as he finishes. The audience screams, the loudest they have so far.

The next two songs go off without a hitch. Oh Caroline is one of your favourites, and you dance with a nearby crew member. You laugh when the whole band begins to step in time with each other during I'm In Love With You. Right at the end of the song, he glances back towards a television that flickers to footage of you for a moment, and then turns back to the crowd.

After they finish, Matty talks to the audience for a little while, miming with his body that the album feels more inwards and closed off. He tells them he's nervous, and that they haven't done a 1975 show in a long time, and certainly nothing like this. They cheer in response, and you hope that it can somewhat alleviate the nerves running through him about what the two of you are about to do.

He laughs at the audience before telling them he's going to watch the rest of the band, who have gathered onto the risen portion of the stage behind them, and to do their own thing, You hear the drums kick in to play Roadkill, laughing as Matty performs the first half of the song with his back to the massive audience.

The lights dim as the song finishes, and you hear your name in your in-ears, along with "Head to stage right, please." Matty sings Fallingforyou as you wind through the passage that takes you to the other side of the stage, getting ready to come on. You arrive around the middle of the song, as Matty turns to sing to one of the televisions that is now playing the videos of you again. He walks back to the center of the stage after the verse ends, and sings the rest of the song while kneeling, starting up at the sky.

The song ends, and the cheers feel like white noise in the back of your mind.. You inhale. Exhale. It's time. Your name is said in your in-ears, and you walk onto the stage. You tune out the cheers of the crowd as they begin to recognize you from the televisions. You hear the droning start of Inside Your Mind playing as you walk across the stage determinedly.

You avoid looking at everyone on the stage as Matty showed you. You sit on the chair, fixate your gaze in the distance, and Matty begins to sing.

As he sings the first lines he crouches down in front of you and places his hand on your knee. You keep your focus off of him, but you know he is staring right into your eyes. It feels like an itch, the back of your mind whispering to look at him.

After the first verse, he begins to walk around you. As he sings the title, he crouches once more in front of you, and pushes the hair gently off of your forehead. You can hear the noise of the crowd bleeding through your in-ears. You keep your mind focused, counting the beats of the song as you stay still.

As he sings the second verse, he stands to the side of the chair, front to the audience. He first places his hand on your cheek, and you welcome the feeling of his skin against yours. You've rehearsed it enough that it does not shock you anymore, but the butterflies in your stomach still multiply when he wraps his hand in your hair and yanks your head back. You keep your eyes where they were, but your head is nearly pointing upwards. The crowd sounds almost as loud through your in-ears as they did when you had them off.

He keeps his hand in your hair, but as he sings the final verse, he begins to trace a finger lightly across your face. First vertically, down your forehead and bridge of your nose to your chin, placing it under and then pushing it up even further. As he sings the title once more, he traces his finger softly across your forehead, before returning it to the center. He pushes your head back slightly with it, and cradles your head with his hand in your hair. You so desperately want to meet his eyes, but you refuse to indulge in the desires screaming in the recesses of your mind.

The song finishes, and air enters your lungs for what feels like the first time in ages. He brings his hands to his sides, and you robotically stand up and walk off the stage, your character unable to observe him. The second you are out of sight of the crowd, you lean over with your hands on your knees, breathing hard and grinning. You feel like you could cry, thousands of emotions and hormones running through you. You let out a small laugh, and stand back up with a smile wide still wiped your face. You missed this. God, how you missed this. You can't wait to go back out there, itching to be back in front of the crowd even though you just left them.

By the time you regain your focus, Matty is on the roof performing I Like America & It Likes Me. The song leads into About You, with him drunkenly walking low through the door in the center of the stage, illuminated from the inside. You almost feel emotional throughout the performance, stunned by the way Matty can captivate the crowd through the music he creates, even while pretending to be drunk and crouched over.

You are mouthing along to Carly's part in the song when your in-ears remind you to head behind the door, prepping for the upcoming extended sequence of you and Matty. A crew member wishes you good luck as you walk through the halls, and you smile brightly at her.

You wait behind the door waiting as they sing When We Are Together, rocking back and forth on your heels in anticipation. You give the band rounds of mini applauses as they join you backstage one by one, all wishing you good luck as well before you head on. The nerves are gone. All you feel is excitement and anticipation. The song ends, and the fourth movement of Mahler's 5th Symphony begins to play over the speakers.

You know right now that Matty is swaying back and forth in the middle of the stage, dancing as if he is alone. He then will be miming making out with himself, which made you laugh quite hard the first time you saw it. He then will head over to the couch, place on the oxygen mask, and begin to do what earns the show its 12+ age requirement.

"Standby," comes through your in-ears, and you know right now Matty has begun touching himself. (Even if your in ears were off, you would be able to tell by the piercing screams of the crowd you can hear through them.)

You hear, "Go," and you swing the door open. The spotlight hits you, and you can see Matty stopping his movements. He rips off the oxygen mask and slips into the next part of the character. A grin rips across his face.

The music is replaced a Frank Sinatra song from the 40s, sounding as if it is filtered through an old gramophone. You approach him, acting as if you are a couple in a film from the time.

You briefly embrace, and this is when he kisses you. It's not a deep kiss, only an extended peck on the lips, with you moving your head and your arms around his neck to make it appear more in-depth. You've rehearsed it several times, rigidly and clinically. But the heat beneath your skin still erupts, the fireworks beneath your fingertips erupting. You grin against his mouth, and you aren't quite sure how much of your actions are acting. Be professional, you berate yourself.

He pulls back and brings your hand to his mouth to place a kiss on, the two of you the picture of romance. He walks you over to the chair you were sat on previously, and begins to sing All I Need to Hear directly to you.

This time, you don't break eye contact with him once. He puts his hand on your cheek as he did before, but you lean into it heavily, ensuring it its visible to the audience. He sings the latter half crouched on one knee, almost simulating a proposal. You aren't sure if you blink once the whole song, transfixed by his gaze. For a moment you forget about the audience, and it feels like the rehearsals of the two of you alone in the massive arena once again. But the song is nearing the end, and your daydreaming about the two of you alone in there is cut short.

As the audience applauses once he finishes, you stay as still as possible, locking your gaze and your expression. You can hear An Encounter beginning to play, and you know by now the band will have reentered quietly when they were unlit. You can see Matty put on a face of worry and confusion out of your peripherals, and he starts to shake your shoulders. After a brief moment, you snap out of it, acting as if nothing happened. You stand up and grab his hand, beginning to pull him across the stage as Robbers begins to start.

Matty was very particular about this song in rehearsals, knowing that there are fans who know the video so well, they would catch them if even a single move was off. You spent the largest portion of your rehearsal time painstakingly memorizing the movements of part of the video he wanted you to recreate, ensuring they were timed perfectly with the song.

Matty gets up on the table, leaning over to sing close to your face. He sticks the fake cigarette that is just for this scene in your mouth, and throws his head back as the initial guitar riff plays. You pretend to stub it out on the side of the table and throw it away.

He leans in close for the first line, and you know he is counting in his head to make sure the timing is right. You tried to tell him you did not need to be that accurate, but he told you that he would be "flamed on Twitter if he fucked even one bit up," because "all of his fans are mental," which made you laugh. You smile brightly at each other at the specific time, which is followed by him standing back up slightly. Once he leans back in shortly after, he taps the microphone against your lower lip. Your stomach does somersaults as the crowd roars. He sticks his hands out to the sides, posing like a deity above you as you watch, kneeling like a devotee beneath him.

He leans back down before the last line of the verse, and you kiss once more after. This time, its not a peck, or a small kiss. He kisses you forcefully, and you greedily reciprocate. You can't even hear the audience any more, all you can think about is his lips on yours, his curls brushing against your face.

He leans back and you try to ignore the emotions running through you, the desperate need to kiss him again, kiss him harder. He watches you as he continues to sing, and you swear his eyes flicker down briefly to your lips.

He runs his finger down your face at the right moment, and then sings the rest of the verse while switching between standing taller and kneeling down to you. He looks at you less and less as the bridge approaches, and you know your cue is nearing.

Once he sings the word wrong, you freeze once more. Matty has hopped off the table, singing the rest of the song to both the stage and the crowd. You stay in place, focusing on keeping your face and eyes locked in position.

The song ends, and Matty breaks out of his simulated moment of distraction. He turns back to you as your hear Mahler's 5th Symphony start up once more. He runs towards you, and you know he is pretending to be confused once more, even though you cannot look directly at him.

He shakes your shoulders as he did earlier, but this time he is unsuccessful in snapping you out of whatever trance you are in. In the corner of your eyes, you can see the televisions beginning to flash, brightly flicking between the news images from earlier in the show.

Matty gives up trying to wake you up, and begins to pace stressfully around the stage. Your back is to him, but you know now is when he runs towards the stage left television, knocking aggressively on the screen as if it is a door.

He will quickly give up, and then run back towards the center stage television. The lights on the stage have begun flickering, indicating that now he is gripping both sides of the television, staring at the videos being shown. You stay frozen, kneeling at starting at the sky with a grin plastered on your face.

The flashing increases, and as the crowd screams, you know Matty must be climbing into the television. Now it is you on the stage, alone and frozen.

You hear a change in the music, and count to five in your head. The lights flash brightly once more, and suddenly the stage is bathed in darkness.

You run off stage. The cheers follow you, and you bring your hand to your mouth as you feel yourself choking up. Your blood is pumping, heart beating rapidly against your chest. The stage lights that once lived only in your mind have left your vision still slightly blinded. You are so, so happy. —

You watch the rest of the show from the same lower backstage area, eagerly watching Matty finally shed the character and perform how he seemingly was born to. Various people backstage compliment your performance, and you feel the happiness radiating off you for the rest of the show. Matty and the band give it their all, putting on one of the best shows you've ever seen in the second half. You can't take your eyes off him, magnetic and all-powerful with a microphone in his hand.

The second Matty comes off stage, he runs to you and slams into your arms in an embrace. You hug him back tightly. You are both sweaty and exhausted, but it doesn't matter. He squeezes you tighter and lifts you off the ground slightly, spinning you around in a circle. You let out a shocked laugh. "Matty!" you shriek. The grin on your face is enormous.

He puts you down, but does not let go. He buries his face into your neck, and you can feel his breath against your pulse point.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you," he repeats, mumbling against your skin.

"For what?" you let out a tired laugh.

"The show was perfect, it was everything I wanted, I planned out, and so much more. And that's all because of you, darling. You're a force of nature up there, god. I'm so lucky I found you. This was all you." He tightens his arms around your waist, and you can't remember a moment you felt this happy. You smile into his neck, heart pounding.

And that's when you know that you are completely and utterly screwed.

—

a/n: apologies to anyone who is an intimacy coordinator because i know this is So So inaccurate but pls just bear with me this is fanfic okay we are not here for rigid accuracy to strict industry rules these freaks need to be freaky somehow. poem is all i want by joni mitchell. this the dress i was thinking of if anyone is curious. shoutout to i <3 concerts on youtube who taped the whole uncasville show

tell me what you guys thiiiiiiink ily all

#she’s a doozy #matty healy #pitn #matty healy x reader #matty healy fanfic #the 1975 #matty healy fic #matty

[allaboutthemoonlight]

How to Develop the Habits You Want and Stick to Them ✨

I recently listened to a podcast discussing developing the habits you want and ensure they stick. As someone who’s been recently struggling with consistent habit adherence, I wanted to share some of the insights I gathered and talk about what’s been helping me lately.

The Importance of a Goal vs a System:

In a world where goals are often the big picture, it's crucial to recognize the transformative potential of systems. Scott Adams once said, "If you do something every day, it’s a system. If you're waiting to achieve it someday in the future, it's a goal."

Goals are outcomes, systems are the daily habits that lead to that.

Systems enable longevity and continuity, while goals are only momentary. Changing your behavior and integrating systems into your leds to continual progress and applicable results.

When you have a goal or habit in mind, develop a system around it so you can continuously work towards it.

For example, if your goal was to lose 20 pounds in 3 months, the system would be implementing a daily exercise routine and adopting healthier eating habits.

The system, unlike the goal, can be maintained and adjusted over time, leading to long-term progress and success.

Constantly Ask Yourself These Questions:

What kind of days do I want to live?

This prompts you to reflect on your ideal lifestyle and the type of experiences you want to have on a daily basis. It helps you set intentions for how you want to spend your time and what activities or pursuits bring you fulfillment.

2. How do I want to show up in the world?

This encourages self-awareness and introspection about your values, character, and the impression you want to leave on others. It allows you to consider how you want to behave, interact with others, and contribute to the world around you.

3. Am I living by my values and beliefs?

This gives you the opportunity to evaluate whether your actions align with your core values and beliefs. If they don’t, something needs to change. Really take the time to think about the choices you make and whether they are in accordance with what truly matters to you.

I like to do a weekly review every Sunday where I look back on my week and see what I’ve accomplished, where I could improve, celebrate my wins, etc. Every quarter or so, I’ll ask myself these three questions and reflect on my life.

Mirror Your Environment To Enable The Habits You Want To Develop

Your environment aids in the habits that you currently have or want to acquire. You need to change your environment to either break a bad habit or acquire a n

Make the habits you want to stick obvious enough so that there’s no friction in the transition process.

For example, if you want to start reading more books, you would start by placing a bookshelf in a prominent area of your home or room. This makes the habit of reading more obvious since the books are easily accessible, allowing you to pick one up whenever you have free time.

Surround Yourself With People That Also Take Part In The Habits You Desire

Being around like-minded individuals provides a support system and accountability network.

When you see others consistently practicing the habits you want to have, it can inspire and motivate you to stay committed.

Being part of a community that values the same habits creates an encouraging environment and helps you to solidify these aspiring habits as integral parts of your routine.

——————————————————————————————————

Developing the habits you desire is not just about setting goals but also about creating systems, aligning with your values, and leveraging your environment and social circle. Continue to focus on the systems in your life over goals, asking reflective questions, and surrounding yourself with supportive individuals.

—Luna <3

——————————————————————————————————

#self improvement #self love #growth #productivity #habits #self care #self development #good habits #that girl #itgirl #leveling up #level up #motivation #positive mindset #empowerment

[coffeeanddonutscafe]

Introspection

Summary:

Astarion trying his best to work out his inner turmoil, and the growing genuine feelings he has for Tav.

MY AO3 - Luna-Noya-Na

In the soft glow of the campfire's dancing flames, Astarion sat perched upon a weathered log, his figure partially cloaked in shadow. The flickering light cast intricate patterns of illumination upon his features, accentuating the sharp angles of his face and the elegant curve of his collarbone. His normally aloof countenance bore the weight of contemplation, a trace of vulnerability evident in the furrow of his brow and the slight downward tilt of his lips.

He couldn't help himself... Astarion's gaze lingered on Tav, his thoughts swirling in a tangle of emotions he hadn't quite anticipated. It was all too unfamiliar, long forgotten… like the smooth rhythm of a beating heart he once had. Now dead and unmoving in his chest.  He had always prided himself on his detachment, his ability to keep his distance and protect himself from getting too close to anyone.

But Tav was different, and that scared him more than he cared to admit.

The nights spent together, the battles fought side by side, and the moments shared in the quiet corners of the camp had all woven a connection between them that he couldn't ignore. The more time he spent with her, the more he felt his walls crumbling, brick by brick. 

As he watched Tav, he couldn't help but marvel at the strength and determination that seemed to radiate from her. She was unlike anyone he had encountered before, a captivating blend of courage and vulnerability. He found himself drawn to her presence, her laughter becoming a melody that resonated deep within him. Yet, with each tender moment they shared, a surge of panic gripped him. The vulnerability he felt around her was unsettling, leaving him exposed in ways he had always avoided.

Astarion's internal battle raged on. There was a shadow of doubt that whispered in the back of his mind. The curse that bound him, the thirst that gnawed at his insides, it was a reminder of the darkness that dwelled within him. 

His chest clenched with a mixture of desire and trepidation. He yearned to confess his feelings, express his remorse, and articulate all the emotions wriggling havoc in him. He wanted to bridge the gap that seemed to widen with each passing day, yet the fear of rejection and the fear of hurting her held him back.

He feared that by letting himself fall for Tav, he might also expose her to that darkness, to a side of him that he desperately wished to keep hidden. That side of him, tainted, abused, tortured by years of servitude to Casador.

Yet, as he observed the way Tav interacted with their companions, the kindness she extended to even the most unlikely allies, he couldn't help but wonder if she might see past his affliction. Maybe, just maybe, she could be the light that tempered the shadows within him. It was a battle within himself, a struggle to come to terms with his emotions and to decide whether he was willing to risk his own heart, and Tav's, for a chance at something he had never allowed himself to have.

Astarion knew that the path ahead was fraught with danger, for them and for their entire world. 

Lost in his thoughts, Astarion's gaze remained fixed on Tav. At that moment, all he could focus on was the person before him and the unspoken connection that seemed to grow stronger with each passing day. The campfire's dance continued, a silent witness to his introspection, as he navigated the delicate thread that connected his past to an uncertain future.

#baldur’s gate 3 fic #astarion fics #astarion #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 astarion #astarion bg3 #astarion romance #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #astarion comfort #astarion hurt #astarion fic #astarion x you #astarion x reader #astarion gn!reader #astarion fanfic #astarion x female reader #astarion x tav #astarion ancunin #astarion x f!tav #astarion x female tav #astarion angst #astarion pov #astarion fluff #coffeeanddonutscafe fanfiction

[lynpheas]

i have a paper to write but. i cannot stop thinking about musa and stella. their dynamic is SO underrated…

they both have such strong personalities except musa is a lot more understated and subtle while stella is more exuberant and outgoing!! but in a subversion of expectations, stella is so down to support musa being in the spotlight — like in their s2 red fountain performance where stella did backup vocals/dancing while musa sang her heart out.

they both have familial issues & come from very different backgrounds, which simultaneously threads them together through a commonality and then sets them apart. for example, they both understand somewhat unconventional family dynamics and the absence of a parent, their mothers. stella’s parents were so busy arguing and just generally being unhappy in their relationship that they overlooked stella and how they made her feel and how their actions affected her. the loss of stella’s mother in her life is something we can infer that stella has had very little room to openly discuss with her parents, and so she has all of these internalized and idealized hopes for a future that we know will never come to pass. but she’s navigating these feelings without proper support from luna and radius. similarly, after musa’s mother’s passing, musa’s father reacted to his grief without taking into account how these events affected musa. ho-boe blamed music for matlin’s passing and so he rejected it completely, imposing that will upon musa and straining their relationship because of it. musa’s only avenue of feeling close with her mother is through music, but her feelings are disregarded and so she has to navigate this relationship with music and also her late mother all on her own.

however, for stella, she is a princess and her parents are merely divorced; so, although she rarely sees her mom and her parents don’t get along, she still has the option to go see her. i think you could say, on top of needing to be charismatic and charming as a leader, stella’s exuberant personality might’ve developed as a result of her wanting more of her parents’ attention, to be seen and understood by them. i think the 4kids dub may say otherwise, but i think it’s fairly clear that musa comes from a more modest background. and contrastingly to stella, musa has completely lost her mother and so their connection is almost…spiritual? and introspective. without her father’s guidance and understanding, musa would more have to retreat into herself. still, both of them are individuals with strong senses of self—their specific familial situations have simply informed their coping strategies and the personalities they’ve developed.

with or without that background in mind, i also just love the way stella and musa’s personalities play off of each other! because of their strong personalities, they’re prone to disagreement and small clashes. musa’s more sensitive, while stella is—although well-intentioned—more thoughtless with her words. i find musa to be more measured, but perhaps equally as blunt at times. these personality differences might result in small but realistic bumps and tiffs within their friendship, but they also have a shared understanding of one another that gives their relationship a strong foundation. and again, despite musa seeming more chill and stella seeming more prone to wanting the spotlight, stella is absolutely musa’s cheerleader!

#textp #winx club #stella #musa #and i just think in terms of fic this is such a fun dynamic to write #they feel like such real teenage girls #just stella maybe saying something that rubs musa the wrong way #musa snapping a little #them just getting on each other’s nerves #but ultimately understanding each other and loving each other #and learning how to navigate the minefields of each other’s emotions and triggers #i really need to write my fucking paper good lord #BUT THEY <3 #also it’s 4am so i do not think this is coherent at all

[moonletgarden]

In the quietude of my chamber, I find myself pondering upon the phases of the moon, that mysterious orb that waxes and wanes in the vast expanse of the sky. As I trace the silvery journey of Luna through her cyclical metamorphosis, I discern a reflection of my own mutable existence, an existence once shrouded in the dusky veils of uncertainty and ignorance. There were periods when my soul, like the crescent moon, stood in partial illumination, revealing only fragments of its true essence. Shadows draped my spirit, and I walked a path scattered with the debris of my own missteps. With each passing phase and passage of time, I delve deeper into the labyrinthine corridors of my own being. On this pilgriamge in the realm of introspection, words become inadequate companions. The soul, weary of the trivial discourse, seeks solace in the profound silence of self-reflection. Through the darkened hours of my mistakes and loss, I became a beacon, not of flawlessness, but of resilience. The past, like the waning moon, retreats into the obscurity of memory, making way for the burgeoning radiance of a new self. It is a communion with the divine, where the essence of the self converges with the cosmic energies that govern the celestial dance. Amidst the celestial dance of the moon phases, I, too, have evolved—a woman transformed, imperfect yet profound, in the perennial journey of becoming. 🌙

Photography by Crystal Lee Lucas (2023)

#crystal lee lucas #photography #dark art photography #photooftheday #other realms #dreamcore #dream pop #the moon #full moon #a trip to the moon

[sophsicle]

Thoughts on Red, White and Royal Blue? (If you’ve seen it) and also the jegulus parallels?

cw me being a hater LISTEN i am willing to see jegulus parallels in many places but rwrb is not one of them, like seeing either of those characters as james or regulus feels like a stretch 2 me

alas, i did not like rwrb, which is a little disappointing cause i went in just wanting to have a fun time and did not have a single mote of fun (actually that's untrue Zahra was very fun)

4 m3 the things that sell this book are a) how much personality those two main characters have, Henry being the sappy romantic literature/history nerd, Alex being a literal psycho so obsessed with politics he blocks every other thought out of his brain - including any introspection about his own feelings or sexuality and the only thing that can break him out of that is a make-out sess with the british prince (10/10 incredible) b) the family dynamics, Henry and Bea, Alex and June, Alex, June, and their divorced politician parents (like that phone call where Alex rants on the phone to henry about his parents on christmas, was IMPORTANT to me as a child of divorce okay???????)

c) the politics and the whole betrayal and then not betrayal of rafael luna the movie strips all of that away, thinking that the thing that made that book interesting was two hot guys making out and like tbh that is boring 2 me. on top of that the acting was a lil rough in my opinion, the dialogue also a lil rough, and in general the way it was shot, the framing, the lighting, all felt very "sitcom" which just made it harder to like get into it or believe?

they made a whole bunch of changes they didn't need to, that didn't save time but did suck all of the stakes out of the plot which is honestly unforgivable to me

could not get through the whole movie

0/10 pardoned turkeys from me

#it's probably worth noting that i don't think the book is a masterpiece or anything #lots of bad dialogue in that too #but it has CHARM okay???? #it has spunk #it makes you giggle #this movie had as much charm as a cold hot dog #soph rambles

[lilacrespite]

━━━━━ 🔮 LLORONA LUNA JUST POSTED !

In celebration of their Emmy nomination, Luna took to her instagram to show their gratitude in a serious of insta stories that showed their initial reaction to finding out and subsequent thoughts after. It led up to a post showcasing a photo album titled 'Wednesday' that includes pictures taken on the set of season 1.

Caption reads:

i’m still crying omg thank you so much to the tvacad for this honor. the coolest thing is happening to some of the coolest, most deserving people i know. wednesday is a character i grew up with, fell in love with, felt seen and understood with this means more than i can say without sobbing so just thank you. i have the most fondest memories filming season one and i'm so happy i get to add this to the highlights. gracias y por todas partes 🖤

Comments reads:

seba herrera: CONGRATULATIONS !! TE AMO MUCHO lytiigala2_comingsoon: PRIME PRIME FELICIDADES !! (u all can catch them performing at lytiigala2 follow me for more) lloron_ahh: @lytiigala2_comingsoon yeah guey… don’t make me delete your comments again. luciadominguezherreraofficial: Mi vida, Tu padre y yo estamos muy orgullosos de ti. Siempre supimos que harías cosas increíbles, tú y tu hermano nos están haciendo sentir muy orgullosos. Te amamos. victorherreramusicaoficial: Yo también estoy llorando. Te quiero muchísimo. Llámame.

#🔮 ⠀ ⠀ LUNA ⠀ ﹕ ⠀ INTROSPECTION . #instead of writing i did.... this #why??? #idk bored ig #KJIJFDKOSFAIJKOFDLSSF;D

[imperiuswrecked]

Sometimes I find it deeply and darkly hilarious about the moment magneto must have found that twins are his children. Like he must have thought -shit!!! They can't be mine, they won't likely accept me!!! Even he knows somewhere deep down, he majorly majorly screwed up and they won't accept him as their father. And I don't think he has majorly tried to repair relations from his side, he actually killed pietro!!?!! And when pietro was actually right and wanted to save wanda!

Like how can he expect their love when he was the one who abused his power to terrorize them in brotherhood Era. Even though he didn't know that wanda and pietro were his kids, he did, however deeply hurt them. I mean, the relationship between them was going to dysfunctional from start. Maybe that is why editorial is not showing magda as alive, and marya connected with twins- they both would have killed magneto several times over.

I can't believe people (and marvel editors) who want to see wanda as pure daddy's girl. Like atleast, show the growth how they patched up their relation, they could even start with the convo that how their children have been raised by other people-it can be a good introspective and bonding topic. And we need more pietro Lorna moments again, I feel she is at the moment more supportive than wanda. Poor Pietro is always the villain in Wanda's story. He also should be at x men related teams- I feel he gets more good character arc there.

Marvel doesn't do complex families well, I've said this before and will probably engrave it on my headstone. Marvel literally erases everything that makes people interested in the characters to have this generic take that's so bland and boring.

I don't think Erik ever really expected their acceptance or forgiveness, because the highlight of the issue where he reveals his connection to them isn't "I'm your father" it's "I'm Luna's grandfather"

Vision and the Scarlet Witch (1982) #4

Which again to me speaks volumes about how broken Erik's relationship between himself and his children are before he even knew them for who they were. And personally I feel that Erik tries harder to foster a relationship with his grandkids than his actual children because he's grandkids are still young enough for him to shape himself in their minds/lives but also they are a generation removed from him, there's space there for him to attempt an actual relationship without the constant reminder of his past, especially the loss of his first daughter.

This is why he viewed Luna as a fresh new step on his path towards redemption, at least in his grandkids eyes, and why marvel constantly cutting Luna out of the narrative only harms the family dynamic. Even Pietro thinks it's all a trick, that's his first thought when Erik reveals their connection, because of their tumultuous past with the Brotherhood. There could be so much interpersonal introspection and character dynamics if Marvel would JUST LET SOMEONE COMPETENT WRITE THEM.

Instead all we get is some half assed "Lorna and Wanda are his daddy's girls and pietro is the screw up" found family bullshit. Found family does not work with them. Their blood/biological connection was the only tie holding them together because of their past. There's no way the in character writing would any of them have anything to do with Erik if they weren't his bio kids.

We were actually discussing this in the Magnet Family discord the other week how close Pietro is with Lorna, and how good their dynamic is and how it differs from Wanda's. Also how the three of them never actually get good on panel time together. I definitely agree that Pietro is better off on the X-Men adjacent teams than on the Avengers.

#pietro maximoff #quicksilver #wanda maximoff #scarlet witch #lorna dane #polaris #luna maximoff #erik lehnsherr #magneto #magnet family #imp answers

[multi-level-shipper]

so as I stated before, I'm re-reading Joey's gay memoir. and here's the thing.

Joey talks about how he LOVED Coney Island as a kid, and he seems to hold it to a slightly higher degree of reverence than the theater. Probably a few reasons for this- it was his vacation as a poor kid, it was time spent with his family, and he also draws some very strong connections about the heart and the soul to his experience being there.

"We arrived at the gates of Luna Park on Coney Island just when they opened."

"The gates were tall towers, with a huge arch entrance beneath. Above, between the towers, was a giant heart, bright red, freshly painted, with the words The Heart of Coney Island written on it. I think about those words sometimes, even these days as I trudge through the mud in the Meadowlands. I think about what it means. The heart. The soul of a place. The beating core."

"I have been searching for the soul for so long myself. That one illusive piece to my puzzle. Art imitates life, that was the solution. But how to live within an imitation? How to step into the cell of a cartoon? How to break the fourth wall? With a hammer? An axe?

Or a whole world." (Pg 200)

There are a few things I want to say about this.

As if we needed any more proof, this is a really long way of getting the point across that Joey craves living in a fantastical world. He needs this sense of creative wonder to feel fulfilled. Directly on the next page he goes on to say that the train ride home sucked balls, and he only felt as if the corners of each of his five senses were fully reached while having this experience at Coney Island.

So, firstly, he mentioned that he was "searching for the soul" for so long. But what in the fresh hell does that mean? Well, either Joey doesn't know how to define the parameters of what a human soul even is (which is a fair and complex question to be asking,) or he's been searching for his soul. Or rather, his purpose in life. While he has the studio and Sexy Lawrence at this point, he might be doing a bit of serious introspection here- which, let's be real, Joey never does this unless he's scared of something to do with his own well-being.

I don't have too much to say about the "heart" side of things. Although, this seriousness about the amusement park could explain why Joey was so ungodly finnicky with the Bendyland edits he kept sending back to Bertrum. He had to make things just right within one of the studio's most important features, or he might actually explode.

The SOUL, however, where do I even start. Firstly there's a direct parallel here we can add to the conspiracy board- the Ink Demon has no soul, and here in IOL Joey is trying to find his own. Another thing to note is how he personifies Coney Island, a non-breathing and non-living place, giving it a heart and a soul. It would be safe to assume that, seeing as Joey Drew Studios is his own form of safe haven, that he would ALSO personify the studio in a similar way. Also willing to wager that he saw Joey Drew Studios as a perfectly curated fantastical world to surround himself with- which is why he would simply not allow anyone to say anything otherwise. He had to keep up this illusion, or the safe haven would fall apart.

Joey giving places a soul also has interesting implications when considering Bendy and the Dark Revival.

We technically don't get an actual ink copy of Joey, we get a "memory" of Joey, as he puts it. However, we don't really see other spirits in BATIM or BATDR that aren't tied to a body. Ghosts are strangely never really explained, with a few exceptions like the ghost train in BATDR. I think this is an interesting distinction to make, because this could imply that Joey's soul is tied to the studio directly. Everything in the BATIM world was created by Joey- our Henry, Alice, Boris, everyone. The BATDR world was created by Wilson, so any existing creatures there are either by his hands, or have been directly taken from the BATIM loop and brought there. It was the assumption that Memory Joey came from Wilson's timeline, but we actually have no idea where he came from specifically, as he quite literally shows up and then vanishes in our first encounter with him.

#illusion of living #bendy illusion of living #joey drew #batdr #batim #bendy and the ink machine

[sitp-recs]

can you rec your favorite dirtiest kink fics? can be drarry or rare pairs…no me importa

Sure thing, anon! This list might be shorter than expected because imho not every kinky fic is intentionally written to be dirty/“wank bank” material. Sometimes hot smut is not kinky at all, and some kinky fics can get so angsty and introspective they feel more like a character study if that makes sense? Then again, kinky smut addressing trauma might be even hotter because it’s emotional (see also: Ruinsplume’s works, my jam!). Long story short I think it all becomes very subjective so I hope this very personal rec list makes sense to other people!

I’m happy that you’re open to rare pairs bc I rarely rely on Drarry for pure filth lol maybe because I’m emotionally attached to them? Who knows, not me 🤣 in any case I’ve done multiple smut reclists for Drarry in the past (including kinky fics), you can find them all here. Lastly, if you’re into Newt/Percival (from Fantastic Beasts) then I strongly recommend checking Miss_LV, especially Ravishing. Enjoy!

A Case of You by ruinsplume (Scorbus + Albus/James)

A Lesser Magic by @lqtraintracks (Draco/Albus)

Belonging series by slashpervert (Scorbus + Harry/Scorpius)

Beg and A Working Night, anon (Harry/Teddy/Draco, Teddy/others)

Charlie Weasley's Fuck Autobiography by @lqtraintracks (Charlie/Teddy/Harry/Draco, Charlie/Bill)

Daddy’s Little Girl by tryslora (Draco/Lily Luna/Neville)

Dirty series by slashpervert (Harry/Fred/George, Harry/others)

Euphoria by birdsofshore (Scorbus + Dralbus)

Is This It by MillicentMakepeace (Draco/Ron)

It Started in the Shower by chickenlivesinpumpkin (Drarry) - cw: dub/non-con

it's brutal out here by @dracoladon and @lazywonderlvnd (Draco/Charlie, Draco/Others)

Just One More Secret by marguerite_26 (Harry/Sirius)

Keep your hands on me by @tenthousandyearsx (Drarry + Draco/Others)

Pretty Baby Universe by literaryspell (Drarry)

Sweet and Crafty, Soft and Sly by tamlane (Charlie/nieces)

There's love if you want it by RedHorse (Harry, Sirius + Harry/Others)

To the Vagaries of the Young by secretsalex (Draco/Albus)

Utter Cockslut (A Worthy Cause) by Lokifan (Drarry + Draco/Others)

Bonus: Must read Kinkuary collections

Kinktober 2020 by M0stlyVoid

Kinkuary 2023 by @wolfpants

Kinkuary 2023 by iota_after_dark

#asks #anon #dirty kinky fics #wank bank #hp rare pairs