#maybe he'll even still have grief about things in his life | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

c4qwp · 3 months

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felix catton x fem!reader

| you understand.

📎 tags : angst, female reader, felix being older than you by a year, fanon of felix be i'm such a bad writer guys, bad orthography, felix being a bit annoying but also a cutie patootie, (y/n) not mentioned, angst asfff

📎 author's note : don't hesitate to comment to help me to progress! english isn't my first language, idk if felix is fanon but i tried my best to write him like i how i see him

you would have seen it coming.

"i think we should break up."

so faint and uncertain, barely more than a whisper.

he looked uncomfortably hunched over, his forearms resting on the table, his breakfast untouched, like he was trying to make himself smaller than you, which was ironic considering you envied his nerves of steel, and of course he was smaller than you shorter It was a very embarrassing moment for a handsome man, but not this kind of moment. Never this weakness.

although the winter sun shines through the windows, the kitchen is still dark and the unpleasant feeling of unusual transparency is almost suffocating. felix isn't the type to get flustered in public, which makes you even more nervous, just when you think you've had all the training you need to imagine scenarios and possible breakup possibilities in every direction.

he didn't dare look at you, shaking his head nervously, choking silently. "say something."

howfunny that he's the best thing you know and can lift you up with one arm effortlessly — his biceps are literally the size of your head, but he says if anyone touches him, he'll cry right now.

It's also a hard pill to swallow, and it's not true that you did this to him, weakening him. you didn't know you had that much power over him yet; and he said he wanted to break, but if he actually said he did, he'd throw up. you shifted in your seat, the wood of the chair suddenly digging into your skin as your body became hyperaware of everything around you, turning your attention away from felix and crossing your hands in your lap.

the answer is on the tip of your tongue, where it has been hidden for months. of course you let him go, and what makes it easier is accepting his warning that half the things about him will be absent and secret, or knowing from the start that your time with him will be limited.

you just don't hesitate; completely overcome the first four stages of grief and begin to accept with ease.

felix catton was essentially ephemeral, either a dreamer or a visible absentee in the present moment of your life. you think of him as an outside cat who was never yours to begin with, appearing randomly and unwittingly when he wanted, a flighty, mysterious companion who was happy and eager to be around.

you don't know if he loves you so much. everyone loved felix. everyone wanted to be around him. the love was there, enough to last a long time, but you thought it was because you were secure and stable.

you were glad you gave him that, if only because you honestly weren't sure what he saw in you.

what was going on was easy enough to experience and because of that you didn't allow yourself to get too attached to him because you knew he didn't love you as much as you loved him. maybe you're kidding yourself, maybe you're sleepy and not as cool as you thought, but you're convinced that's the way it should be, the way it should be.

what's the point of realizing your name isn't at the top of his list?

are you even were you good enough for him? a feeling of insecurity has been itching you for a long time. you may have been beautiful and intelligent, but were you the first in his eyes?

you can't ever be mad at him. you wanted to be with him knowing the way he is, after all. felix is a mess despite trying not to show it, his messy straw-brown hair doesnt shine like it usually does. he hasn't gotten enough sleep in more than a couple days because of his family's issues. time whenever he has to be away for an unprecedented amount of time, or gets buried too long in his pub. wearing a white shirt, he looked very casual and didn't seem to beg to be singled out. feel sorry for him.

"alright."

he snapped his head up, his eyes immediately meeting yours, and they were no longer blank. he looked unsure if he had heard correctly and had a look of disbelief on his face. "wait what?"

your fingers traced the rim of your teacup, mimicking felix's eager movements. "you can start packing today, but if you want to stop today, i don't mind..."

"no, wait-"

"i said yes, felix."

he frowned at the name, his eyes looking away from you for a moment, and he had to blink, and you thought that not having your usual nickname had hurt him. He had to swallow before he could speak.

"and that's it?"

you don't know if this is an attempt to end your relationship or if you want to let him go easily. you do not get it. what can you say.

"what do you want me to say?"

he sighed, looked away, wiped his forehead with his hand and covered his eyes. yes, not that your hopes are in vain. you have to say no.

he's as handsome as ever, but of course he'll want to know how comfortable you are, and he won't appreciate it when he changes his design. "i heard and will agree so we co—"

"aren't you mad at me?"

this is really what he thought first?

"i don't want to get upset."

"why...?"

"well, ..." because you love him, but talking about him will make it harder.

"i'm not sure. but we are both adult and need to talk like one. i think you and i have been very good together all along. I'm not mad at you for anything. understand."

he had such a subtle, sarcastic look on his face that if you were a complete stranger you would have thought it was sarcasm, but you knew better. He insulted himself. you can read it. but you should think about it. you should be mad at him. why the fuck is he upset. things about felix seem too good to be true, his only flaw is that he is a literal playboy. but of course stopped all his relationships with other girls, right?

"don't you want to know the reason? i mean, my god, why are you taking it so passively?"

"what do you mean?"

it's hard for you too.

"how can you not be so affected?"

"It's not like that. If you want to break up, i can't make you stay, or do anything you don't want to do. that's not fair to any of us. you will be with someone you don't want, and i would know im with someone who doesn't want me."

he shook his head, brown hair framing his face, which floated gently in the air. when he strongly disagrees

with something you say, but decides to say no at the last minute, he'll furrow his brows in anger and you'll feel a little disappointed because he's not denying that he doesn't want you. "you're always doing that, you're always doing that..getting mad. you must be mad at me."

"felix. I'm just tired of all this. you want to beak up and i said yes."

he just said, "I'm sorry,"

he hated it, that was all he had to offer you, and it showed on his face. sit in the chair next to him, you both need some good communication privacy right now. "but i have plenty of time to cry, okay?

"it's not like i'm accepting it or being negative or anything... and"

"grieving?"

his eyes search yours for a moment, the realization making him gasp and his eyebrows raise, making him look younger and more innocent.

looking forward to it.

"yeah, i mean.." pressing your lips together.

"look at us. in the long run, this doesn't work. It's not real. i don't know how we got here."

his pupils swallowed all the blue in his eyes, and he had never looked at you with such hostility until the hair on your arms stood up. "did you just think about breaking up?"

"why are you mad at me now? what have I done? you're the one who broke up with me."

"you weren't happy at all. haven't you always been sure?"

"i was and i still am. it's just...you've changed, felix. you're not looking at me like before. i don't know if it's because of me that you've changed but i was here for you every single time. but no mister doesn't want to talk so go to the pub and come back all drunk and doesn't give a shit about me. so yeah i was confused about a time and wasn't sure."

his eyes were finally on you. he called your name, repeated it. "i'm so sorry, love. i'm so-"

"no felix. i'm tired. so please leave me alone for a time and let's talk an other time."

there was a blank of 2 minutes. as you wanted to say another word,

"i understand."

#jacob elordi x reader #nate jacobs x reader #felix catton x reader #saltburn x reader #saltburn #felix catton #felix catton x fem! reader #angst

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svgvru · 8 months

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✮ 𝗡𝗢𝗡𝗡𝗜𝗘 𝗔𝗦𝗞𝗘𝗗: idk if you'll accept this request, but some jjk men x male reader head-canons of them taking care of depressed!reader? (they're secretlyin love with him) maybe a gf or friend died or smth and they notice reader is becoming depressed?

𝗗𝗨𝗥𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗔𝗖𝗧! ꒰ gojo, geto, nanami, yuuta / m!reader ꒱: mentions of death,depression, weight loss, panic attacks, ptsd, and anxiety. angst, hurt/comfort, these hcs are alot take caution.

𝐁𝐄𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀 𝐉𝐔𝐉𝐔𝐓𝐒𝐔 𝐒𝐎𝐑𝐂𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐑 isnt for the faint of heart, but sometimes there is no choice. and something that comes with the price of being a sorcerer is that death constantly surrounds you. whether or not your partner is a sorcerer or not, they could be killed at any moment. and you were aware of that, but in the moment pain unlike any other struck. it hurt, it burned, it made you want to throw things, fight, anything to relief the pain. they watched when you brutally killed the cause of your partner's death, anger and grief coated on your face. it hurt for them to see you like this. so broken, unlike how you are normally. when they wished they were with you, that you didn't already have someone, thi sis not what they meant. so they do everything in their power to help you feel better.

SATORU GOJO

꒰ satoru would be the man to give you some space. whether it was him during his teenage years or him in his adult life. he understands how it feels to lose someone, and to grief. so at first he gives youspace, offering help to you if you need it, carefully keeping watch on you while sticking to a distance. and after a while, bandage or blindfold, he could tell something was wrong. you stopped talking, stopped eating, your uniform didn't quite fit anymore. he didn't notice it until he thought about the times youpushed away his generous offers of sweet treats. he noticed the eyebags, and the dullness of your once bright eyes. he had to help.

꒰ the regret (PTSD) that he wasn't able to save his best friend years ago still stuck to him. he mentally punished himself for missing the signs that something was wrong, that suguru needed. there was no way, he was going to let the man he loves so much reach the level that suguru went to. he quicklyand desperately lunged to help. he reached out hishand and no matter if you pushed him away, cursed him out, threw something at him, he'll drop infinity and wrap you in his gargantuan arms and gave you ahug you desprately needed. he gives you the intimacy you pushed away from. he lets you cry on intimacy you pushed away from. he lets you cry on his shoulder, just holding you, no matter how long it takes, he'll hold you until you fall asleep in his arms. he'd never put you down, he probably wouldn't say a word.

꒰ talk? he'll listen. need to punch something? he'll train with you. his hands were gentlewith you, they wipe away your tears and hold you close, giving you the warmth you so desperately need. and slowly but surely he'l encourage you. he'll delicately push you to hang out with him and shoko once in a while. he'll hand you small meals that get abit bigger after a certain time. he'l give you his sweets and ever so carefully slide his hand intoyours. and if you jerk back he won't get mad, hell be hurt, but he understands. he respects your boundaries. but if you let him hold your hand, you'll see the happiest satoru giggling about some prankhe pulled on nanami. he'l slowly do somewhat romantic things, or he'll plan things that force you to socialize.

꒰ would carefully test the waters with you throughtout the years. he never wanted to be too soon with making his feelings known, so he was patient and waited until you looked much healthier. he waits until you finally start choosing to social,choosing to smile, to go on missions again. satoru gojo loves you, he always will, even if you don't love him back. but he'll always make subtle tries. whether it be jokes or slight touches, testing what he can and cannot do. regardless, he's there for you. no matterwhat. he might not be the best at communicating his emotions, or comforting your own. but he lets you know he's there, waiting with a free hug. as afriend or boyfriend. and if he gets to call you his husband? that's even better.

SUGURU GETO

꒰ suguru would also be someone who tries togive you space, but he just doesn't. like most jujutsu sorcerers do, he understands the pain of losing someone. and he knows what happened to himself after amanai's death. he never wants you to go through the same struggle he went through. so while he'l let you grieve how you do, he's paying close attention to and sticking to you, making sure youdon't decline. he'd do anything for you to make youheal correctly instead of just temporaryily stapling the wound like he did. whether that be sitting fully clothed in the bath with you, or being the big spoon and holding you for hours. if you just couldn't keepup with your hygiene like you used to, he'l cut your hair for you, help you brush your teeth. if you really need help bathing, he'll help with that too. he'll just remain extremely concerned for your wellbeing.

꒰ when i say watches you, i mean watches you. there's no "summer stress" excuse with him. (i think) he's one to be gentle with you, while be firm. he's not one to yell at you, but will use a stern voice to encourage you if need be. if you are one to have panic attacks, the first time it happened, it freaked him out. he pretty much didn't leave you after that. however, he learned how to calm you down, how to help. its hurts him to see such a strong man so ruined, and the curse that harmed your partner was by far one of the worst tasting ones. but no matter what, he'll hold you. your back to his chest and his arms wrapped securely around you, encouraging you to take deep breaths, attempting to ground you in any way he could.

꒰ this experience is probably one where the two of you get closer. he'd never, push you too far, or even try anything intimate with you unless you let him. the farthest he's ever gone is maybe a hug that he got a nod of approval for. but if you need it, he'll cradle your head to his chest and likely hum to get you to fall asleep (something he used to do with nanako and mimiko). after a while, his humming isone of the only ways to get you to fall asleep. and he'll do it everytime without fail. suguru wants you, he does. and every night he hums to help you sleephe wishes he could hold you and kiss your foreheadhe wishes he could provide more intimate comfort, he wouldn't dare ask for. however, when your eyes bags start to disappear and your no longer looking as ifyour lugging around your limbs he finds the tiniest bit of hope. but no matter what, suguru is a man of consent. and he'll wait, and wait. carefully takingcare of you, treating you like glass, while hee ncourages you do things. he'll wait until he can finally hold your hand. the time suguru geto would wait for you never has a limit. he'll always wait for you, whether it be with a comforting hug or a kiss.

KENTO NANAMI

꒰ who better to understand you than him? kento nanami who lost his other half, Yuu Haibara, at the age of 16. he understands perfectly, which is why he doesn't leave you alone. if you explicitly ask for space, he'll give it to you. but otherwise, he's not leaving you be at all. he knows your a strong man, he's seen you fight. but nothing could break a man more than losing the person he loves. and he saw you lose your person and his heart broke along with yours. this man cannot stand seeing you sad ordepressed. the second he notices signs that go beyond the five stages of grief, he interferes. like suguru, he's one to be gentle while using a firm tone. he'll hold you like you're glass, but he'll also drag youalong to supervise gojo's students. he'll let you pour your feelinga out on him, but he'll tell you eat a quarter, then a half, then three-fourths, then the whole meal. he won't be aggressive, but he'll still be like.."eat" (gradually over time though! he doesn't want to push you that rough).

꒰ now he coped by being a workaholic, if your that type he has to dive into hypocrite mode and tell you to sit down for once. if you don't cope that way, but another negative way, he will do anything in hispower to stop you. if something he does in particular comforts you, then he'll keep doing it. he'll speak to you calmly, and let you rest your head on hisshoulder despite not being a touchy person. if need be he'll let you sleep over at his apartment and personally cook you breakfast. and despite how annoying gojo may be, kento does recognize that he often raises the atmosphere of the room to being more playful, so he does suggest hanging out with gojo and his students a lot.

꒰ now he's not an intimate person, and i don't think he'd ever try anything intimate with you. he understands that loosing a part of you hurts, and he would never accidentally hurt you by trying to be bold. he'salso not a physically intimate person. so yes, he does love you, so much. he'd do anything for you, but he'd never outright say or show it, especially after your tradegy. even years later, he'd likely not say much about his feelings. someone like gojo would have to convince him to say something to you or else he'l be stuck with the feeling unrequited love till the day he dies. but regardless, he respects boundaries and doesn't try to be as risky. if you don't like him, he'll have to deal with that. if you do decide to give it atry, he's literally ecstatic, but only in his head. he'll give you one his rare smiles and maybe hold yourhand.

YUUTA OKKOTSU

꒰ (OH GOD). yuuta's almost sharing the experience with you. he's re-experiencing what he went through, and he hates it. not that he would regret his relationship rika, but rather he hates that he has to experience you going through what he had to. hes so scrambly and worried. his mind is constantly running through different thoughts and how to help you. he likes you, so of course hell help you. but how? he gets anxious that he's bothering you, thathes making the process worse as he tries to stick toyou and let you talk about it him. (oh, its over for him if your an angry griever). regardless, yuuta has good ears. as in he's a good listener. he'd let you ramble, scream (he'd jump), cry, anything. he'd listen to youand validate your feelings. if you'llet him he'd carefully play with your hair and tell you he understands, he'l tell you how he'll do anything to help. i also think he's fantastic at hugs. to matter how jittery or anxious he may be, if you need a good hug and shoulder to cry on, he's right there.

꒰ when it comes to your physical health, he doesn't play. he's still kind of nervous when it comesto encouraging you. but if he starts to notic eeyebags, or loss in your weight (trust. hell notice), he immediately does everything in his power to help you. and he tries to be as happy as he can, thinking that maybe his happiness would eventually spread to you, or at least boost your attitude. he'd run to youwill a meal the both of you can share so you don't feel intimidating by having to eat a whole meal again, if you stopped. he'd suggest the both of you getting haircuts together if you let your hair grow too long. when it comes to stuff like that he suggets doing it together so you don't feel alone, so you don't feel like your terrible for letting this happen. if your hygiene got bad he'd never ridicule you or anything. yuuta would tell you its okay and like i said, offer getting haircuts for the both of you, offer getting clothes together, he'd try and encorperate your schedules together without being too pushy.

꒰ yuuta would be very nervous when it comes to the fact that he still loves you. the last time he was remotely in love with someone, he got hit by car and he accidentally cursed her. he's never really experienced healthy romance, or a a healthy life. he never really desired love, with the assumption rika would always come in between, preventing him from having healthy human interactions. but when it came to you, he's never wanted a relationship so bad. and he still wants you, but in understanding what its like to lose someone you love, he never pushes. he never tries to touch you too intimately or suggest intimate things. he's patient, he'll wait for you if he needs to. even if you don't like him like that, he'll always be available to you as someone you can go to for anything. he'd be in pain just like he was when you started dating someone else. but he knows its painful and hard to come back from losing someone so important. if you do heal, if you do want him like he wants you, he'd probably cry. but for right now he'll just remain someone you could trust and talk to.

꒰ n: repost from my original acc! i still hope i did this, and their characters, justice tho. ꒱

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merakiui · 5 months

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Mera Mera Mera! Thoughts on twst boys if you tell them "no more sex" after an argument. Pretty please! 🥺🙏 💙 (You characterize them so well, I'm certain you can bless us with knowledge)

>:D I may have a few thoughts on the reactions!!! I shall bless you with said thoughts (i.e. twst cast being petty and silly).

Riddle - he's perfectly silent when he tears out the page in his life planner titled "dick appointments" and rips it in half in front of you. "Would you look at that? It appears my schedule's become open." He proceeds to fill the time slots with academics and club activities. Your "no more sex" rule goes both ways, but if you find yourself unable to bear it he might consider penciling you into his schedule. ...if it ever frees up, that is. :)

Trey - "Yeaaah, I had that coming," he admits with a sheepish chuckle. Trey very rarely argues with you. Ever. So maybe it was one-sided, but he still goes along with it to keep you happy and to end the argument as quickly as possible. He'll smooth things over by baking you your favorite sweet. He can be patient and wait if you're still stubbornly insisting on no more sex, but that doesn't mean he won't tease you often.

Cater - "Cowabummer." Yes, that's all he says. Yes, he gives you the sad thumbs-down and everything. Cater cannot be /srs for this one because if he's /srs you'll see the /srs sides of him that he'd rather hide behind a /j personality. (He later makes it up to you by apologizing and taking you into town to your favorite places. <3 you end up fucking in the changing stall in one of the clothing stores hehe.)

Ace - he rolls his eyes and laughs. "I never even wanted to fuck you anyways. You're, like, super mid." (He's lying. Please don't ban him from having sex with you. </3 This is how he's apologizing later.

Deuce - he's genuinely devastated. Nooo, what do you mean "no more sex"? D: that's not even the worst of it, though. Deuce is just sad that the both of you argued and that he said some things he's not very proud of. He was really mean and so were you. What were you even arguing about in the first place? Deuce's heart aches knowing you're so upset at him, so he does everything he can to make it up to you. It's fine if you don't want sex anymore; he just wants you to be happy.

Leona - he highly doubts you're serious. "Sure, okay. We'll see about that one," he tells you with a lazy half-smirk. "Good luck with that, herbivore." (he's so hot when you wake up next to him in the mornings and he has that rough morning voice...... you end up fucking the following day, too weak to his charms to keep up with your no sex promise. Leona teases you for that.)

Ruggie - "I'll live," he says with a shrug. Sure, it sucks that you no longer want to fuck and it also sucks that the two of you even argued in the first place, but he'll live. You and Ruggie are distant for all of one day before coming back together to sincerely apologize. He's a little awkward with his apology, but it does indeed come from the heart. Perhaps there's some makeup sex that follows...

Jack - another one who is more upset over the actual argument than your admission of no more sex. Jack feels so bad. :( his ears are flattened on his head and his tail is drooped; he's just so sad that he argued with you and made you angry. He was out of line and shouldn't have let his emotions get the best of him. If no more sex is what you truly want, he'll abide by that.

Azul - "Angelfish, I understand you're upset, but do you truly mean that?" You do, and you storm out of his VIP room and ghost him for the rest of the day. Azul goes through the five stages of grief within the span of a few hours. T_T he's a wreck, not only because you said no more sex but because you argued and you're angry with him and you probably hate him now and what if you break up and you never want to see him again and and and and and !!!!!!!! Sad tako hours.

Jade - he smiles patiently. "If you say so." (his compliance is too obedient; don't let him fool you. He's going to spike your drink with an aphrodisiac and then when you come to him begging for release he'll deny you in the same way you denied him.)

Floyd - "Shrimpy, c'mon, ya can't be serious." You turn away from him with a huff, arms folded over your chest. "S'not funny, Shrimpy..." He pouts at you, brows knitted in annoyance. You look him dead in the eyes and snap back with, "Good. Cuz I'm not joking, Floyd." (Floyd's in a foul mood for the rest of the day; no one dares go near him. His aura is too threatening...)

Kalim - if it's your first argument with him, he's genuinely compelled to throw a party celebrating it LOL. Kalim means well with it, too, which makes it arguably worse. ^^;;; but he is indeed very sad that things got to this point and that you were so angry with him that you even said no more sex! He sulks sadly. :( will a parade make you feel better? Or do you want more renovations done to Ramshackle? Do you want gemstones? Just tell him how he can make it up to you and he'll do it! He's so very sorry! >_<

Jamil - he rolls his eyes, shooting you an unamused look. "Very mature of you, (Name)." Jamil isn't going to entertain the argument anymore. If you want to talk things over, you can do that after you and he have cooled off. Although if he's truly intent on getting your forgiveness and nullifying your no sex rule right away, a little hypnosis might do the trick...

Vil - he gives you a critical look. "What does sex have anything to do with this?" If you're going to argue with Vil, argue about the subject matter and don't bring unrelated topics into it! >:( arguments with Vil always make you feel so bad because essentially he tells you to do better and think about your conduct. Of course he also reflects on how he acted and what even led up to the argument in the first place. Even his apology, though heartfelt and authentic, is so perfect.

Rook - "Mon amour, lovely trickster whom I adore most, oh, how you wound me!" He's so dramatic about it, but then he also wholeheartedly means it when he says and acts like that. "Shall we share a kiss of forgiveness and allow water to flow freely under the bridge once more?" He is truly sorry, but then he's sneaky when he's slipping his tongue into your mouth as if he's trying to drag your apology out of your throat and taste it in his mouth.

Epel - "Consarn it!" He's huffy, glaring at you with his cheeks puffed out. "If yer gonna throw a hissy fit and say no more in-out, in-out, then don't come crawlin' to me when yer feelin' it!" Of course he then storms off and is promptly scolded by Vil for such atrocious behavior. Epel realizes he was wrong for getting so worked up and he'll later apologize to you. You apologize as well, but for the rest of the week there will be no more sex. Epel thinks that's fair. He sort of deserved that one. T_T

Idia - "Wutever. I don't need 3D to be happy." He rolls his eyes and the argument ends there. (Idia later spends an entire week locked away in his room building a (Name) sex doll to make up for the lack of your touch.)

Malleus - poor Hornton... :( he sulks in the darkness of his room and no one knows the reason for why he's so upset. Sebek is distraught; whoever dared to put waka-sama in this sad mood will pay!!!!!! Telling Malleus no more sex makes him think you don't want him anymore and that you essentially are breaking up (which is not the case). Diasomnia feels the gloomy atmosphere for days to come. It's Lilia who finally manages to convince Malleus to come out of his room and go to you for a chat to resolve things.

Lilia - "Oh dear. That's rather unfortunate." Even though he says this, he doesn't seem very affected or surprised or even remotely upset. But then Lilia's been through countless arguments, some far more severe than the one he just had with you, so he knows how to navigate these sorts of things. He's very mature about it and respects your no more sex rule. In fact, he's going to keep track of how many days you go with no sex before you inevitably forgo this rule for sloppy, heartfelt makeup sex with him, which he'll gladly indulge in.

Silver - it's probably impossible to argue with Silver. He's just so sweet. How could you ever get into any sort of argument with him? But if you did find yourself at a disagreement, he'd do whatever he could to resolve it and make you feel better. If no more sex is what makes you happy, then there will be no more sex.

Sebek - "SO BE IT, HUMAN. I DO NOT REQUIRE YOUR TOUCH OR INTIMACY TO SURVIVE, NOR DO I WANT IT." He's so LOUD. The entire hall ends up learning more than they'd ever want to about your and Sebek's argument. ;;;; he rants about you and your audacity to Silver (who's half-asleep), and so it's obvious he's affected. Sebek refuses to apologize because he's stubborn, but he realizes he misses you quite a lot. :( no one point that out, though, or else he'll yell at them that that's not true whatsoever!!!!

#twisted chit chat #n/sfw

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shall-we-die · 1 month

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{Accident}

Would they blame themselves if you died in an accident?

More headcanons

╞•⊰❖⊱•═══•༻🌊༺•═══•⊰❖⊱•╡

↬[Fandom]•⊰ {Obey me!}࿐

↬[Warnings]•⊰ {Mention of death | a little angst}࿐

☰[Main list]•⊰ ────┈┈{0050}┈─╮

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╰┈➤Likes/Reblogs are appreciated࿐

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↬|Lucifer|

Lucifer would be distraught and devastated upon hearing the news, and he would undoubtedly blame himself. He would question himself and wonder if he could have done something to prevent it and if he could have protected MC. And he would be wracked with guilt, thinking that if only he had been there with them, then maybe he could have saved them.

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↬|Mammon|

For Mammon, he'd most definitely blame himself if MC died in an accident. He'd blame himself for not being there and protecting MC. For Mammon, he'd feel as though MC would still be alive if he had only been around. The guilt and self-blame for the death of MC would likely lead to depression for Mammon. He would start isolating himself from the others and be more prone to temper flares. He'd likely try to avoid his brothers and take more responsibilities for the death of MC. He'd likely think of himself as a failure and blame himself for what happened.

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↬|Leviathan|

If MC died in an accident, Leviathan would most likely blame himself, feeling that he should have done more to protect them. He'd constantly ask himself what he could have done differently, whether he could have prevented the accident somehow. He would feel deep guilt and regret, believing that he was the reason MC died.

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↬|Satan|

Yes, Satan would blame himself if MC died in an accident. He would feel guilty and responsible for not protecting them. He would replay the accident over and over in his head and he would question all the things he could've done differently in order to prevent the accident. He would blame himself and he would carry that weight of guilt with him for the rest of his life.

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↬|Asmodeus|

Asmodeus would definitely experience extreme guilt and remorse if MC was to die in an accident. He would not only blame himself but also believe himself to be responsible for their demise. He would most likely retreat into himself and become very withdrawn, feeling as if he has failed to protect the person he cares for most.

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↬|Beelzebub|

Beel would absolutely blame himself if that happened. Beel would think that he should have been there to save MC, and no matter how it happened, he would hold himself responsible. He would feel guilty for not doing more to protect them. However, since he is the Avatar of Gluttony, he would probably try to cope by eating more to distract himself from the pain.

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↬|Belphegor|

This dude killed MC once... I have nothing to say. But ok, he'll feel guilty and will sleep all day to cope with the sadness, dreaming about MC.

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↬|Diavolo|

Diavolo would definitely blame himself if MC died in an accident. He would feel a tremendous sense of guilt and responsibility for the tragedy. He would question himself constantly, wondering if he could have done more to prevent it from happening. Diavolo is selfless and would consider himself responsible because he was unable to protect MC. He would feel guilty and remorseful, and would have a hard time forgiving himself.

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↬|Barbatos|

Barbatos is a very gentle and caring soul (just towards MC and Dia), so he would definitely blame himself. He would never forgive himself for letting someone he cares about die on his watch. He'd probably even blame himself just for failing to stop the accident, even if the accident had nothing to do with him or wasn't his fault. He would be devastated and deeply depressed. He'd spiral into guilt and self-blame, and his grief would be immense. His sense of failure and guilt would be overwhelming, and it would consume him. He would probably even lose his will to live, feeling that he has no right to live after failing to protect someone so special to him.

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↬|Simeon|

He would feel as if he had failed to protect MC and keep them safe, as an angel is meant to do. He would wonder if he could have done more to prevent this from happening. Simeon is a very compassionate and nurturing person, who truly cares for those around him, including MC. He would feel tremendous guilt and remorse if their death had been preventable in any way.

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↬|Solomon|

Solomon would feel that he had failed to protect the one he loved. He would feel that he had not done enough to keep them safe and that it was all his fault. He would be filled with guilt and shame, and he would feel utterly devastated. He would blame himself for not being a better guardian and protector. He would never forgive himself.

||[🄰ccident]||

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⇆ㅤ ㅤ☰ㅤㅤ ❚❚ㅤㅤ🄱▷ㅤㅤ↻

#𝙰𝚗𝚐𝚜𝚝𝚢 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎–[❣]#obey me x reader #obey me x mc #obey me hcs #obey me angst #obey me lucifer x reader #obey me mammon x reader #obey me leviathan x reader #obey me satan x reader #obey me asmodeus x reader #obey me beelzebub x reader #obey me belphegor x reader #obey me diavolo x reader #obey me barbatos x reader #obey me simeon x reader #obey me solomon x reader

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the-bad-batch-baroness · 23 days

Text

Where's Mommy?

Wolffe x Fem!Reader

Part 9

Summary: Wolffe's wife suddenly dies, leaving him a single father in the middle of a war.

Pairing: Wolffe x Fem!Reader

Characters: Wolffe, Cara (child OFC), Comet, Sinker, Boost, Warthog

Tags & Warnings: heavy angst, mention of death, off-screen death, spousal death, reader is not the spouse, grief, hurt/comfort, family fluff

Word Count: 1.5k 1.9k

Author's Note: I'm going to be honest y'all. I'm struggling with my health right now, so I don't think I did this part justice. It's a transitional chapter of mostly Cara just being a little kid and Wolffe having to deal with it. Nothing angsty, but we are headed towards more angst. As always, please enjoy 💚(EDITED 4/16)

Beta: Please meet my new beta reader/editor @beating-a-dead-plot!

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5

Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10

Wolffe packs up the rest of his wife's things, or at least, the pieces of her that he finds the most important. The box is almost full, and he knows Cara is going to have a difficult time leaving some of her things behind, so he decides to leave a little room if she needs it. Putting the box aside, he reaches for his duffle to pack his own belongings. At the very least, he can keep his duffle in the barracks. It's great for storing things that he doesn't care about losing or damaging.

With everything packed in either the box or the duffle, Wolffe scans the room one last time to ensure he didn't miss anything. He knows he'll never be back after today, and there is a lot he can't take with him. If he could fold up their entire bed and throw it into his duffle bag he would, but he can't. He snorts at the stupid thought while staring at the bed, then his eyes catch on his wife's pillow. If he squishes it, he can make it fit into his duffle, which is exactly what he does.

Now, Wolffe is sure he has everything that he can take with him. It's still not enough, though. How does one condense years of their life into a single box and a duffle bag? It used to make sense to him, during his time on Kamino. Clones are property, and property can't own other property, so he never had things outside of the standard clone-issued items he carried in his pack. His wife was the one who helped him understand that useless things could be precious.

With a heavy sigh, Wolffe slings the duffle over his shoulder and picks the box up off the bed. He walks to the bedroom door to leave, but stops in the frame, his feet stuck like they're sinking into quicksand. He turns and looks at the room. This is where she slept. This is where they slept. This is where they made Cara. When did he get so attached? It's just a room. When did goodbyes become this hard? He forces his feet to move and flips the light off for the last time.

On his way to the kitchen, his leg gets attacked by a ferocious child.

"Daddy!" Cara yells as she crashes into him and wraps her arms around his leg.

Wolffe steps back with his other foot to steady himself and Sinker quickly grabs the box he's holding before it falls on top of Cara. With the crisis averted, Wolffe releases a slow breath to calm himself as he feels the adrenaline course through his already stressed body. There's nothing that scares him faster than his daughter being in danger, even if he's the one causing the danger. He takes a moment to breathe, then slips his duffle off onto the ground next to him.

He bends down to peel his daughter off his leg and hoists her up onto his hip. "What's the matter baby?" he asks.

She cups her hands around his left ear and whispers loudly. "I need to tell you something."

Wolffe grimaces and tilts his head away. "Yeah? What's that?"

"I love you with my whole carrot," she says and she flings her arm around his neck to hug him.

Wolffe knits his eyebrows together and repeats the word under his breath. "Carrot?" Maybe he just lost his hearing in that ear.

Comet walks by with Cara's box and laughs at Wolffe's obvious confusion. He leans over and whispers in Wolffe's other ear. "Ka'rta."

Wolffe snorts and shakes his head. "I love you with my whole carrot, too, baby."

"Daddy, I'm hungry," she says.

"I knew that was coming," Wolffe sighs. He places her down onto the ground and walks off to find the pancakes he saved for her.

While making his way to the kitchen, Wolffe eyes Cara's box that's filled to the brim and then some. "Was there anything she couldn't fit?" he asks Comet, who is also looking for a snack in the kitchen. "I saved some room in my box just in case."

Comet doesn't turn around from his foraging in the cabinets. "I think she's all set." He pushes a box aside and grabs a cereal bar. "Had to make some adjustments to the baby blanket, but it went over well."

Wolffe nods to himself and sighs, but only because he's half listening and his mind is running in eight different directions. "Then I guess we're all set."

"Not quite," Comet says with his mouth full. Turning on his heels, he walks over to the hook on the wall where the flower print apron hangs and gently pulls it off. "I think Cara will want it someday."

The corner of Wolffe's lip raises in a small, but pained smile as Comet hands the apron to him. Wolffe scrunches the fabric in his hands and touches it to his face. It smells like memories, but not the same memories as her pillow. Different memories. Memories of warm food, cheerful laughter, drinks being snorted out of noses, brothers gathering together to share a meal, and love. So much love that it made the war feel like a fleeting dream that he could forget about.

Before Wolffe can be brought to tears by his thoughts, he pulls the apron away from his face and folds it gently, with reverence. Her memories deserve respect even if it's just a scrap of cloth. Once folded, he squats down next to his box and carefully places the apron in the empty space he left for Cara. She may not care about her mother's pillow or her chapstick like he does, but one day, she'll be able to wear that apron and remember how much her mother loved her.

Wolffe grits his teeth and pushes his emotions back before standing up. He places a hand on Comet's shoulder and squeezes. "Thank you."

Comet places his hand on top of Wolffe's and squeezes back. "You're welcome."

"Daddy!" Cara calls from the other room. "I'm hungry!"

Comet chuckles. "Better get a move on daddy."

Wolffe rolls his eyes and sighs. "Don't make me regret thanking you."

Comet shrugs with a self-satisfied grin as Wolffe walks past him and towards the conservator.

While Wolffe looks for the pancakes in the conservator, the doorbell rings and his heart sinks. It can't be that time already, can it? He knows they have to leave, but that doesn't mean he's ready for it. He wishes he had someone to tell him that everything will be alright, like he can with Cara. He can hold her, soothe her, and make her feel safe, but there's no one to do that for him, not anymore. His wife made him feel invincible during times of uncertainty, and now she's gone.

Boost answers the door and huffs. "It's about time you showed up."

"Well, someone had to take care of the battalion," Warthog retorts. "Not everyone gets to play uncle."

"Auggie!" Cara exclaims and runs to hug his leg.

"Ad'ika!" Warthog smiles and picks her up, rubbing his nose against hers. "How's the youngest member of the Wolfpack?"

"I'm okay," she says.

From the kitchen, Comet watches the exchange with a raised eyebrow. "Auggie?" he asks. "Why Auggie?"

"She doesn't like to say Warthog," Wolffe explains as he pulls out the bag of pancakes. "So, she shortened it... I think."

Comet crosses his arms. "How come we don't get cool nicknames?"

Wolffe rolls his eyes and places the bag of pancakes on the counter. "You really want to be called Come, Sink, and Boo?"

"Nevermind," Comet says. "I'm good."

Wolffe laughs and clasps a hand on Comet's shoulder. "That's what I thought."

Wolffe walks past Comet and over to the door to greet Warthog. He's not happy to see him, but that's not Warthog's problem, it's his. The general commed Wolffe not long after they left the hospital to let him know that he would be sending Warthog to pick them and their things up late morning and bring them to the Jedi Temple so they can get settled before the funeral that evening. The funeral. That's something else Wolffe has been trying not to think about too much.

Warthog bounces Cara in his arms and looks at Wolffe with concern. "You alright, Commander?"

Wolffe sighs. "That obvious?"

Warthog makes a knowing face. "Kinda."

"I've been better," Wolffe breathes.

"Daddy!" she calls while squirming in Warthog's arms.

"I'm right here, baby," Wolffe says. "What's the matter?"

Cara bends backwards in Warthog's arms to see Wolffe. "I'm thirsty," she whines. "And I'm hungry."

A lightbulb goes off in Wolffe's mind. "Cup," he says as he walks back to the kitchen. "I forgot her cup."

Warthog laughs and pulls Cara back upright. "You are a handful, aren't you?"

Cara scrunches her nose and wiggles to get out of Warthog's arms. "Daddy!" she screams.

Wolffe sighs. "Can you–"

"On it," Comet says and he walks over to the struggling pair. "Ad'ika, what happened?"

"Auggie is mean," she whines while pushing away from him.

"Auggie," Comet says with an accusatory tone. "How could you? She's just a kid."

"I didn't do anything!" Warthog exclaims, mildly hurt by the accusation. He grunts. "Here. You take her. I'm going to go pack their things in the speeder."

Comet shrugs. "Suit yourself." He takes Cara from Warthog and she settles down in his arms.

"I'm hungry," she whines again.

Comet sighs and walks them both into the kitchen, quickly finding the bag of pancakes sitting on the kitchen counter where Wolffe left them. He opens the bag with one hand and pulls out a colorful, yet oddly shaped pancake and gives it to Cara. She grabs it from him and starts nibbling on it. Warthog's arrival doesn't bode well just for Wolffe. It puts them all on edge. They all know the transition is going to be tough for Cara, but there are worse things on the horizon.

Cara easily downs the first pancake and Comet gives her another one. She takes a few bites, then gives it back to Comet with the explanation that she's full. He thinks about putting it back in the bag with the others for later, but then he feels his stomach growl and realizes that the little cereal bar was not enough. So, he pops the nibbled pancake into his mouth and eats it himself.

"Hey," Cara says. "That was mine."

Comet raises an eyebrow. "You said you were full."

"But it was mine!" she exclaims. "Daddy!"

Wolffe, with Cara's cup in hand, hears his daughter yell for him once again and decides it's time to take his child back from his overworked men. "Alright," he begins. "Auggie I can understand, but Comet? Now you're just being fussy."

Cara makes a whining noise and Wolffe trades Comet the cup for Cara, then takes the cup and gives it to Cara who drinks it down eagerly.

"See?" Wolffe says while running his hand through her hair. "You were just thirsty. And you probably need a nap, huh?"

Cara yawns and leans her head against Wolffe's shoulder.

"Is everyone ready to go?" Warthog asks as he steps back into the apartment.

The answer gets stuck in Wolffe's throat and he rubs Cara's back nervously.

"It's okay, daddy," she says and nuzzles her face into his neck.

Wolffe takes a deep breath. "Yeah, we're ready."

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5

Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10

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callsignfangs · 4 months

Text

The 141 boys as widowers. (bc i feel like torturing myself /j)

141 x late (implied) spouse! reader

cws: grief, mentions of loss, implied alcoholism/alcohol as a coping mechanism, mentions self-destructive behaviour, very brief mention of addiction, etc (Please lmk if I've missed anything!)

(Note: This little drabble is a little self indulgent, a bit about my own journey with grief. Each little 'story' thing does end with acceptance. Please don't read if you're not in the right headspace, and remember that you're loved and you're not alone, and make sure to reach out if you need help <3)

Price is the one inclined to bargaining. Maybe he could've done something - what if he'd taken a bit more time off work, what if he spent more time with you, what if he'd agreed to retire early with you, what if he was there? Ironically enough - he just ends up drowning himself in more work, probably turns to smoking or alcohol in an attempt to drown everything out.

141, Gaz and Soap especially, will definitely be the only thing he holds on for. As capable as they all are, he couldn't just up and leave his boys without a captain - he couldn't make the same mistake over again, they gave him something to care for, to nurture and to look after.

I don't think he'll ever marry again - just making half-hearted attempts to peek into the dating scene whenever leave got especially lonely. He'd never be able to find anyone quite like you, so he eventually stopped bothering with it, finding warmth and comfort in himself and the other people he loved.

He keeps a photo of you, one of your handwritten notes, and any little trinket you'd given him at all times. Saved every single snippet of you talking he could - even still paying off your phone bill occasionally ringing your phone to hear your voicemail message, maybe sending you texts when things got especially hard. Definitely does chores the exact way you always did - from the time you went out to shop in the morning to how you stacked dishes. Loves hot showers but still takes a lukewarm one each morning because your habit of taking cold showers meant the water was never hot enough for him. I think he probably adopts something after the rough edges of the hole you'd left in his heart smoothed over.

It wasn't intentional in the slightest - maybe a stray cat had clung to his pant leg while he was on a hike or the task force managed to pick up an orphaned little kid on one of their excursions. He's very hesitant with them, still not quite trusting himself with caring for another being. But he warms up to them eventually. No matter human or animal, they've definitely been brought to your gravesite once or twice.

Maybe it would be alright, eventually. He'd at least have something interesting to entertain you with the next life he found you.

Soap is definitely in denial. Convinces himself it's a mistake - that when deployment's finally over, he'll trudge home, kick off his boots, and be met by his sweet love, bouncing at his heels like an overeager puppy and lathering his face in flittering little kisses. He still avoids coming home like the plague - resorts to anything from taking on way too many missions, to picking up another job on the side, even to staying in hotels as if he was in some sort of covert op.

He'd be forced to go back to your house eventually, though. Not home, it wasn't home without you there. Just the same four walls and roof he camped out in on deployment. Nothing warm or special about it.

He still pretended, though. Made your bed every morning the way you liked it and prepared meals for two every day.

While Price and Ghost undoubtedly pulled him out of his slump, Gaz was the person who really started him on the road to acceptance. Having the boys over near constantly was soothing, giving him something to occupy his mind with and overshadowing the cold emptiness of the house. The occasional cuddle piles and game nights reminded him of the warmth of their bond - like the nights they spent on stakeouts, letting their own sweet joy shield them from the brutal realities of their situation.

Gaz was the first person he cried to. Soap couldn't bear the way his buzzed sides were starting to fluff out, but he'd slowly gotten used to letting your gentle hands preen him and tidy him up. Of course, Gaz had noticed, and of course, he'd insisted that Soap just had to let him have a go at doing up someone else's hair. Soap didn't know when he'd devolved into tears - somewhere between the first gentle touch he'd felt in weeks and the crippling realisation that you'd never be there to do it again.

Either way, he'd managed to cry himself to sleep in Gaz's arms that night. He continued to sob himself away for weeks, filling each day with tears.

Until each day turned into each few.

And each few turned into once a week.

And slowly, his tears dried up.

It was an arduous process, grieving. But he stubbornly forced through it, just as he'd forced his way into your heart.

And he did his very best not to change. He determinedly kept the mohawk - even used the same shampoo because it made his hair feel perfectly fluffy under your touch. He did his best to continue being his perky, bubbly self, because he knew how you practically basked in his energy.

However, he still let himself grow, let his hawk grow out so he could braid it the way he'd always considered, and he let himself have his bad days, didn't force himself to keep up his energy when he didn't really have enough.

Admittedly, though, he never married again. He found temporary enjoyment in little flings, though he let them pass when the time was right. No matter what, he always came back to your house.

Sure, it wasn't quite home without you there. But you'd been there - no matter how little the time you'd had together felt in hindsight - so maybe he could learn to make it home again. For you.

Gaz is angry - furious to the point of enraged tears. If it was him? He'd understand. He'd hurt people, torn apart lives and taken his fair share of them. He deserved it. But you? It wasn't fair. In his eyes, you couldn't possibly hurt a fly, so delicate and tender and so, so soft. It just wasn't fair.

His attempt at coping is to delve headfirst into a tedious slew of missions - one after another after another. It gives him something to dump all his blind rage and hurt and desperation into. His morals were a writhing, flailing, unrecognisable mess for a long time, and the best comfort he could find was in the chaotic monotony of work.

So what if he burned everything in his path to ash? At least the threat was dealt with.

Price and Ghost are the most essential to his recovery. He needs guidance, needs some sort of structure, and needs to relinquish the tight hold on his need to be good, to fix things, to help, to finally restore what he was so reliant on, even if that meant tearing himself to shreds in the process. What he needs is time to grieve, time to come to terms with the unforgiving reality - that it just happened. No-one did anything wrong, there was no violence or intent, it just happened.

He'll absolutely come to deeply regret everything he did in his grief-induced warpath, but eventually accept that he was hurt and lost and just needed the help - the intervention.

Like Price, I think he might attempt to put himself out there and find someone new every once in a while, maybe even builds up to a couple dates, but he never really finds interest in anyone. He definitely remains friends with many of the people he meets, but he just can't quite find a spark - mainly because they're not you.

He never throws out anything of yours, his wardrobe is still mostly full of random articles of your clothing, and the third drawer on the nightstand is still yours.

He always wears something of yours when he goes out, from shirts and shorts to hoodies, even some of your jewelry.

Despite it being admittedly pretty late, he finally watches all of the shows you liked and reads all the books you did. It makes him feel closer to you - cuddling up under your favourite blanket in your favourite spot and picturing you being there with him, imagining each and every one of your reactions, practically seeing your lovely face curl with smiles as you commentated over the whole thing.

Sure, you weren't really there with him anymore, but the sweet, warm mark you'd left on his heart was enough to carry him over until he inevitably returned to you.

Ghost is mostly depressed. He's so agonisingly hurt and lost, but you were his sun - what gave him life and love, and without you? He just couldn't muster up the energy to do anything beyond simply existing. Even he'd expected himself to crash and burn - follow in his brother's footsteps and drown in a spiral of addiction. But he just... Didn't. The affirmation that he didn't blow up and take everyone he loved down with him would be reassuring, comforting, but it wasn't. Not without you whispering praise in his ear, assuring him of his goodness and softness.

I think he'd also be reliant on Soap and Gaz, but Price would be a surprisingly big factor as well. No-one could ever really replicate the effect you had on him, the way your encouragement kept him going, but having some amount of structure, of motivation? It helped. Despite that, he absolutely tried to push them out at first, convinced that the acrid shadow of death looming over his shoulder would eventually take them as well. What are task force 141 if not determined and unfathomably stubborn, though, especially when it came to caring for their own.

Soap undoubtedly led the charge - seeing as his ceaseless energy and affection were mildly more normal (god knows Simon needed a little bit of comforting normalcy). Gaz came second, still snarky and headstrong as ever, but with softened edges and an air of gentle care. Price was last. He'd been there before Simon was Ghost, he was aware enough to piece bits of his past together - and he'd be damned if he managed to scare Simon, if he was the reason he regressed further. So he was tender. Delicate, even. Ghost would despise being handled like fragile porcelain in Price's kid gloves, but it soothed a part of Simon that hadn't peeked out since you left.

It'll take a bit longer than the others - more therapy, reassurance and care, but he'll recover eventually, let the wound you left in his porous heart scar over and go on as best he could.

I don't think he'll look for romance again either - his interest in it just died out alongside you. He wants to preserve the sanctity and tenderness of what you had, and is more than content with holding that love in his heart, and keeping it safe for you until he meets you again.

After you're gone, he attempts to follow your advice more, occasionally dragging himself out of his comfort zone, picking up new hobbies and trying to emulate your passion for life in himself, keeping a little bit of you alive with him. He absolutely douses the house in your favourite fragrance, refuses to use any hygiene products other than yours and carries something of yours everywhere, whether it be your ring or even your purse, just something to remind him he had to look after things (including himself) for you.

Even if you were cremated or buried in some other way, he'd ensure there was a gravestone for you placed alongside his mother, Tommy, Beth and little Joseph. You'd always be part of his family - his heart, and when his time came? He'd be buried alongside you, trailing along with you into whatever came next. By your side forever.

Yippee. This was. A journey. /lh

Sorry if this isn't formatted the best, it was more of a massive brain dump that I forcibly shoved into something just about understandable lol

If you're seeing this, tyvm for reading mwah 😚😚

#task force 141 #tf 141 #141 x reader #angst #angst with like. acceptance?#grief #tw grief #dead reader #141 boys being sad #i maybe cried a little when writing this.#just a little #(i wept)#(multiple times)#brain dump #fangs drabbles

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13keithxpidge13 · 11 months

Note

NO HOLD ON abt your punkflower au.. imagine how hobie would feel about prowler miles,,, was the miles in his universe also prowler but more vigilante style?? like imagine it being exactly mirroring how uncle aaron died as prowler from the first movie <//3 or for a more added flavor neither knew each others identity under the mask and was protecting each other the whole time

i blame you for giving me sad infectious brainworms

Hobie was long from completely healing from Miles' death but, had gotten a better hang on his emotions when it came to talking or thinking about him for too long. So, when Miles from Earth 1610 showed up, he had hoped he hadn't come off as overly excited and clingy. He just-he looked /so much/ like his best friend/first love. Acted like him too. Wanted to help people no matter what and was almost a little shy when it came to new people. Hobie hated himself for it but he was growing attached to this new version of Miles and couldn't help but wish that the Miles in his world had been bitten instead of him. Maybe he'd still be alive.

Miles was a good guy back on Hobie's world too though. He had gone by the name "Prowler" and while the government had condemned him and labeled him a criminal against the dictatorship, Hobie saw him for what he was, a true genuine good person that would do whatever it took to help another person in the fucked up world they lived in. It was what made Hobie so attracted to him to begin with. They had similar goals and similar ways in how they handled things. He didn't have any super powers like Hobie but could hold his own. He designed all of his own gear and even sowed some of his own designs onto Hobie's vest, painting badass doodles on his guitars and shit. It was the only thing Hobie had left of him after he died.

He didn't exactly approve of Miles going out there without Hobie by his side but, he had never been one to stop his friend. But, Hobie was nothing if not selfish. Often, he'd be found right by Miles' side and their friends used to tease that they were attached to the hip. Hobie had only wished that were true because, if it were, he could've saved his best friend from being murdered.

He didn't see Miles get shot but, his spidey-senses had warned him only seconds before and by the time he had turned around, Miles was on the ground clutching his chest while the child he had saved was wailing beside him.

Hobie had never lunged for anything so fast and he was immediately at his best friends side, ripping off their masks as Miles wheezed and gasped for air.

"No," Hobie shook his head. "No, no, no. Miles, mate? Miles, love, come /on/-"

"Hobie," Miles croaked. "It's gonna-it's gonna be-"

"Shut up, shut /up/!" Hobie yelled, feeling tears well in his eyes. "Just-why did you do that? /Why/ didn't you let me handle those guys, why would you-?"

Miles laughed breathily. "Because," He whispered, voice fading. "Someone's...someone's gotta look out...for the little guy...right?"

Hobie's breath hitched and he sobbed.

"Miles-"

"Hobie," Miles interrupted and shakily raised a hand to his cheek, fingers bloody. "I'm gonna...take a nap."

"No," Hobie shook him. "Miles, no-"

"I love-" Miles coughed again. "I love...you..."

His hand fell and with it, Hobie's entire world had shattered.

Sometimes, other Spider-Men will ask why his laces are blue and he'll say he kicked the snot out of some bad nosed cops. But, in reality, he had went on a rampage that night and killed over eleven officer's at the scene of Miles' murder in a desperate attempt to avenge his first friend and the love of his life.

But, in the end, it did nothing to erase all the pain and grief he had suffered thereafter and nothing ever would.

#punkflower #miles morales #hobie brown #across the spiderverse

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strwberri-milk · 9 months

Note

Kaeya and Diluc w a so with a complicated family issues like them too? Maybe them trying to get away from their family, however that looks, like changing names and moving out and stuff

Kaeya doesn't blame you for trying to change your identity and trying to shed that part of your history. He wants to ask more about it, just curious more than anything but when you refuse he decides not to press for more information. He doesn't want to ruin the trust you two have after all and has just decided he'll take things as they come rather than pushing you.

He might accidentally come across some of your past without you even recognising it. Sometimes you say something that he stores in the back of his mind that links to something else you've said but rather than confront you he decides to leave his theories to himself. He doesn't want you to feel like everything you tell him is something he's desperately piecing together, and again would rather just wait for you to feel comfortable to tell him.

The nights that you spend missing your family ir wondering about what could have been are ones he can easily relate to. You never say anything to him but the forlorn look in your eye as you gaze at something that will just always be out of reach is something that pains him so to remember feeling himself. Whenever that happens, he always quietly wraps his arms around your shoulders and holds you tightly against his chest. No words are ever said but you know that you're safe here in his arms and that even though he can't replace an entire family, he can love you enough to make your grief ebb.

Diluc struggles a little seeing your struggles align so closely with his. The difference is that while you've run away, he runs into his estranged brother far too often. He can see the way you look at them, clearly wishing they would make up but also knowing that whatever it is that happened between the two of them is too much for something to be fixed so easily.

Instead, you just turn your attention away from Kaeya and distract yourself by talking to Diluc. The two of you have found solace in each other after all, knowing that it doesn't really matter what happens around you two as long as you have each other.

Diluc struggles with knowing the right thing to say or do sometimes, wishing he could offer you more than just his touch to settle your turbulent thoughts. He does what he can by preserving your identity and keeping tabs on your family from afar. Any time he feels like they're getting too close to your new life he'll find a way to deter them and keep you safe.

You've never felt safer, knowing that even if Diluc were to find out the reason why you felt the need to change your identity thanks to your family that he'd still love you for the person you are. He's heard enough about them from your mouth after all, and he's never made any judgments about the things you had to do to get away from them. All he does is reassure you that you're not a bad person for wanting to get away and that he'll always be on your side.

#kaeya x reader #kaeya alberich x reader #diluc x reader #diluc ragnvindr x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader

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nicosraf · 22 days

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I’m sure I speak for all of us when I say we desperately want to hear all your baal and lucifer thoughts!! I’m foaming at the mouth begging for crumbs, barking like a wild dog

Warning for major Angels & Man spoilers. I'm sorry for this long essay but I'm stuck in a lecture for this certification thing and bored.

So I'm thinking about immeditaely after the demons re-group and Lucifer leads them in building their caves. Baal falling to Lucifer's feet and swearing his allegiance. He says he's been fighting in honor of Lucifer's memory in all the time that Lucifer has been asleep. Lucifer is angry, though — maybe he slaps him — and he asks why Baal thinks that he's worthy of trying to continue the devil's legacy. Baal apologizes, says he didn't mean to continue it, just protect his memory, to worship him in life and death. Lucifer asks why Baal wants to worship him, Baal says Lucifer is beautiful, and Lucifer glares. Baal adds that Lucifer is powerful and wise, too, but Lucifer's already angry and maybe turns his back on him.

Regardless, Lucifer still offers him the title of duke within a few months. (He might be angry at Baal, but he's probably the most loyal among the demons). Whenever they're alone, Baal tries to touch him, lowers his voice, but Lucifer denies him over and over. It's only until Baal is hopeless, not even trying anymore (sleeping with other random demons), that Lucifer finally takes him to bed. (It was a test; Lucifer wanted to see if Baal would remain loyal even without the promise of sex. Baal has passed, but Lucifer doesn't seem happy with him, he never does.)

Baal carves a room to sleep in close to Lucifer's chambers but not too close. Baal starts modifying his body. He has a fixation on Michael; sometimes, he thinks of how far Lucifer and Michael might've gone in their relationship and pisses himself off. He imagines that Lucifer has become violent because of Michael. He imagines Michael must've hurt Lucifer. Baal tries to make himself stronger and bigger, scarier too.

Baal spends a lot of time beside Lucifer, sees a lot of his spells of anger and grief and violence. He offers to take over some responsibilities. He wants Lucifer to focus on being happier/calmer. Lucifer agrees, but because he plans to use Baal as a way to shift blame; whenever the demons need to be punished, he'll send Baal, whenever things need to get done, he'll have Baal scream at them. The demons will hate Baal and love Lucifer. Lucifer does, however, use most of his new free time to sleep and tend his gardens; so, he is a little calmer, and Baal is happy.

It takes centuries for Lucifer to let Baal actually sleep in his bed. One day, though, I think Lucifer wakes up cold and trembling, and he walks out, sees Baal, walks up to him, grabs him by his tunic, then drags him to cuddle in bed without a word. It takes another long time before Baal gets to sleep there frequently. Lucifer stops kicking him out post-sex; Baal eventually moves his stuff to a tiny corner of Lucifer's chambers, and Lucifer pretends not to notice.

Their relationship is rocky. Lucifer takes out most of his fury on Baal. Baal just takes it, sometimes unsure why he bothers being so loyal, but every time he thinks of stepping away, he comes crawling back.

Cain changes things though. Lucifer becomes a lot gentler. In front of Cain, Lucifer is very sweet and only playfully mean to Baal, and even when Cain isn't there, Lucifer stays a little nicer. Baal sees that the young, sweet Lucifer he loved in Heaven is still alive. Baal also sees Lucifer having meltdowns over Cain's safety, panicking and hyperventilating and pulling his hair out. Baal holds Lucifer tight as he cries and gasps over Cain being hurt or lost.

I'm trying not to ramble too much about Cain right now, but I think Cain mends a lot of their relationship. Lucifer is a little gentler, and Baal sees how hurt Lucifer really is. And they both adore Cain, even after everything that happens with Abel. Lucifer is a mess when Cain walks off on his own after the murder, and Baal is there for Lucifer.

So why is Lucifer still so mean to Baal in A&M? A part of it is an act. A part of it is trying to push Baal away. A part of it is trying to push himself away. Lucifer doesn't want to love anymore. Love drove him crazy in the past. He especially doesn't want to fall for someone like Baal, who he thinks isn't very bright or powerful or special. But.... Baal holds him really tenderly sometimes and Lucifer feels safe. And even happy, sometimes.

#mine #baalcifer rant #longer than i intended but hey maybe ill cross-post this to patreon #ask

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kwnnys · 1 year

Text

— craig tucker fluff alphabet !

fluff alphabet : g/n reader a/n : i went through all stages of grief editing this. pls enjoy. 🥰

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

craig is not the best at physical affection, so you'll have to be the one to initiate it most of the time.

he does sometimes intertwine pinkies and holds your hand, but only sometimes.

its not that he doesn't like it, it just doesn't really occur in his mind to initiate pda and stuff like that.

he much prefers verbal affection or acts of service. telling you just how much he appreciates you and helping you with chores or homework is much better in his opinion.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

you and craigs friendship started when you both were in detention, and you threw a paper airplane right on mr. mackeys head while he was napping.

"hey! who did that?! you better come up mkay. that is very irresponsible and-"

you both snickered and put your hands on your mouths, trying to stop yourselves from laughing.

mr. mackey sadly heard craig though, and immediately accused him.

"craig, did you do that? now listen here young man. I am tired of your attitude and games- did you just flip me off?!"

you couldn't help it and started laughing hysterically, damn you and your shit humor.

you both got detention for 2 weeks.

but after that day, you started hanging around craig more and more and eventually made your way in his little gang.

hes pretty protective of you, constantly flipping off anyone who talks bad about you. also prolly gatekeeps you from everyone else.

he lets you hold stripe before anyone else, and even lets you feed him! the cute little thing.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

craig is a pretty cuddly guy when you both are alone, spooning is an absolute must!

he doesn't mind whichever position, though he prefers being the big spoon. so that he can feel your soft body against his.

he doesn't mind little spooning at all though.

if you lay your head against his chest while cuddling, he'll get soo happy.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

hes absolutely down to get married and live a happy life with you if you're down too.

craig will probably be the one working most of the time, but he doesn't mind being a malewife/househusband either.

it honestly just depends on you.

hes not the best cook, but definitely not the worst either.

hes pretty lazy when it comes to cleaning, always telling himself he'll 'do it later'

ends up never happening though.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

hes heartbroken, but he knows this has to be done.

he will act awfully weird and awkward the whole day, especially around you.

"hey craig, can I borrow a pencil?"

"huh- oh uhh.. yeah here."

he ends up approaching you about 20 minutes after classes, when theres not much people around.

"I really love you y/n. but... this is for the best."

after the breakup. he'll seek comfort in his room and stripe. refusing to leave for the next few days.

he finds it hard to cry, so he'll try to force himself to.

hes not insensitive of course not, its just hard for him since he rarely does it.

after a few days he'll check his phone and text all his friends back, though still heartbroken and sad.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

craig struggles with commitment, but he'll do everything in his power to make you feel loved and special. just in his own way.

hes pretty neutral about marriage, but again if you're down. hes down.

he wouldn't want to get engaged too quickly of course- perhaps give it a good 3 years. maybe 4.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

craig is very gentle with you physically.

his touches are soft and careful, and he always asks you before touching you. he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable.

also pretty gentle with you emotionally, but he does struggle a few times since hes not used to emotions.

he is trying though! always reassuring you and making sure you feel special and loved.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

the guy loves hugs. especially from you.

though he doesn't initiate hugs most of the time, he will gladly accept any hug without hesitation.

craigs hugs are short, but warm and cuddly. his hands lingering and ruffling your hair as he kisses your neck.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

love is a very strong and meaningful word, especially to craig.

so he takes his time before actually saying it. he needs time to make sure the feelings he has for you (whether romantic or platonic) are real, and true.

but once he does make sure and finally does says it, he says it.

and he'll say it over and over and over again.

you're leaving his house? "bye, love you."

you both bump into each other on the way to class? "love you."

you give him any kind of gift for any random occasion? "I love you."

he starts saying it everyday, all day. and he'll keep saying it till the day that love dies.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

craig is a chill and laid back guy, and hes not one to get jealous often.

but on the rare occasions when he does, he gets pissed.

he'll secretly flip off the person thats making him jealous and stick his tongue out.

he'd hold you much closer, wrapping his hands around your waist and kissing your nape as he glares.he'll also ask you random questions like "hey babe, what time is it?" or "honey, what do you want for lunch?" while your talking with said person, just to let them know that you're his and only his.

you'll whisper to him a 'whats wrong?' and he'll shrug, asking what you mean and that nothing is wrong.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

craigs kisses are passionate and meaningful, and when you two are kissing, he doesn't care about anything else.

he kisses you everywhere, your lips, cheeks, neck.

but hes most fond of kissing your nape and hands, something about it just feels so intimate.

he loves when you kiss him on his forehead, his ears and face flushing a bright pink whenever you do.

he just loves you so much, and wants you to feel the same way.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

craig doesn't dislike children, but doesn't exactly like them either.

he'll make a disgusted face and scowl when he sees a child crying or throwing a tantrum and laugh out loud when a child trips and falls, not caring if the parent is nearby.

will also not hesitate to flip a child off if they annoy him.

however he does has a soft spot for his little sister, tricia. and is always there to comfort her whenever she needs it.

when you point it out though he will deny it, saying that he only does it cause he doesn't want to hear her cry and whine. which is obviously a lie but he'll never admit it🤫

extra : you caught him playing dress up with tricia once.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

craig is not a morning person at all. and most mornings spent with him is just you trying to crawl out of bed as he clings onto you.

no matter how much you try to wriggle out of his grasp, he just won't let go. you whine and lightly hit his arm but to no avail.

but when you do manage to get out of bed, he'll frown and pout, using a pillow to cuddle with instead.

some lucky occasions you cave and stay in bed with him, much to the raven haired boys delight. he'll kiss your cheek and mumble about how much he loves you before dozing off again.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

nights with craig are usually spent playing with stripe and watching movies. he'll place the little creature on his lap, petting it while his head rests on your shoulder.

other nights are spent either hanging out with craigs gang, or just playing games together.

but no matter what you two do, the night will always end in you snuggling against craigs chest as he strokes your hair.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

craig is not a very open person, so it will definitely take a while before you can really get to know more about him.

its not cause of any trust issues or anything like that, he just doesn't really think to tell you about him in the first place.

you'll probably have to be the one to ask him about things, and hes more than happy to tell you if you're both close enough.

he doesn't tell you much about his problems, mostly because he doesn't wanna trouble you with it. but if you insist then he will slowly but surely open up to you more.

in the end, hes always glad and feels better after talking with you.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

like I said before, craig is a pretty chill and laid back guy.

he doesn't get angered often, and mostly just resorts to flipping people off when they annoy him.

the only thing that really gets him angry or mad is when someone insults a person he deeply loves and care about (or sometimes a guinea pig)

its rare to see craig get mad or angry, but when he does he immediately tries to cool himself down, he hates letting you see him like this so he either walks away from the situation or just take a deep breaths.

he does calms down fairly quick though, so its not much of a problem.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

craigs a forgetful guy, but not when it comes to you!

he'll remember every small detail about you. your favorite bands and songs, your favorite sweets and candy, he'll even remember all the moles and birthmarks on your body.

he likes buying things he knows you like. stuffed animals, bracelets, figures, etc.

and he absolutely adores the face you make when you see what he got you, your eyes glimmering in happiness as you thank him. he just loves it.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

his favorite moment with you was your guys first date. he brought you to a fancy italian restaurant, per cartmans suggestion.

why he listened to cartman of all people was a mystery.

anyways, he asked his best buds to assist him while on the date, and they ended up reserving a table right in front of the one for you and craig.

he was hella nervous, his palms sweating as he looked at his phone over a dozen times to check if he got any messages from you.

once you arrived though, he slightly relaxed abit.

you two ended up having an awesome time. though it was mostly you doing the talking, but he snorted and made a few comments here and there .

once the date ended, he offered to walk you home. to which you happily accepted.

his hand brushed against yours as you talked to him about your interests, though he seemed out of it.

he ended up only staring at your face the whole time and not hearing any word you said.

after you arrived home you thanked him, and gave him a quick peck on the cheek before skipping inside.

his eyes widened and his face went red as you left him there, completely paralyzed.

poor boy walked back home completely on cloud nine, a dorky smile plastered on his face.

he ended up thinking about you the whole night, and even dreamed about you spoiling him with kisses and affection.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

he is very protective about you, especially if you hang around stan and his friends.

he'll always insist on coming with you on your little adventures, making sure you stay safe and sound.

however when you refuse he'll pout and frown, but ultimately decides to respect your decision.

he will text you alot though, asking you about where you are and if you're ok every few hours.

its not you he doesn't trust, its them.

he will get less overprotective over you as your relationship grows, though.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

he puts in as much effort as he can. he wants you to know how much he truly cares about you, and will do everything in his power to make you feel loved.

on very special occasions he'll ask help from some friends who have experience or his parents.

"should I get this or this for y/n? or should I get both?"

absolutely loves spoiling the shit out of you, he'll buy you whatever you want and whatever he can afford to make you happy.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

craigs bad habit is obviously the need to always problem solve.

sometimes you have problems that you dont want to solve right away. and thats... confusing in craigs mind.

to him, solving the problem as quick as possible is better so that you won't have to deal with it, so then why are you crying and yelling at him for suggesting ideas to help?

he doesn't get it, he really doesn't. hes trying to help you, so then why are you so upset?

he asks all the smartest people he knows about what to do, but to no avail.

he decides to just ask you himself about what you want him to do and what you need to feel better.

you tell him that you just want someone to comfort you, to hold you and talk through your emotions with you. and so he does.

he holds you, stroking your hair as you sob into his chest. he mutters a few words of affirmation here and there, but mostly lets you do the talking.

after you feel better, he'll make you a cup of your favorite drink and give it to you. cuddling you and kissing your puffy eyes as you fall asleep in his arms.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

craig never really cared much about his appearance or about how people see him.

it was only until you came into his life, that he started actually putting in an effort to look good.

he started brushing his hair before school and getting into the recent fashion trends. its a bit of a hassle, but its all worth it when you compliment his looks and outfit in the hallways!

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

very much. when you leave south park for whatever reason (whether temporarily or permanently) it feels like a chunk of him left with you.

he suddenly doesn't have the urge to attend his classes, or dress up nicely. he'll be even more stoic than usual and would get annoyed much more often.

not a day goes by he doesn't think of you, always pulling out his phone to send you a message or to check your social media accounts.

he misses you dearly, and the only thing that really helps him cope is stripe and the gifts you had bought for him.

he'll sometimes cuddle his pillow at night, imagining it to be you. tears prickling his eyes as he sniffles.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

you both rant to each other about your hyperfixations (autistic moment).

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

skip

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

he has a habit of grinding his teeth while he sleeps, and it drives you insane.

when you confront him about it he'll shrug and deny it, saying theres no way he would grind his teeth while sleeping and that it was probably stripe.

in the end you'd have to buy noise cancelling earbuds because you just couldn't handle the noise.

#— elys works #craig tucker #craig tucker x reader #south park x reader #south park fluff #south park #south park x reader fluff #my name is craig tucker #last week was my birthday #x reader #tweak tweek #fanfiction #fluff alphabet #fluff tag #autism

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sunandflame · 8 months

Text

Flame and Water, Epilogue

Ship & Trope: Kyojuro x Fem!Reader (Water Pillars Tsuguko) / Slowburn

Warnings: canon-type stuff / angst / huge manga spoiler

Word Count: 4055 Words

pinterest board of Flame and Water

spotify playlist for Flame and Water

crossposted on AO3

I recommend listening to the playlist while reading this chapter.

Masterlist of Flame and Water

The porcelain cup fell out of your hand and you knew something was wrong. Something in you tore and left you breathless. You felt dizzy for the moment and had to hold onto the wall to not fall onto the ground. Senjuro saw it and saw your pale face, running immediately towards you and holding onto your yukata. "Aneue! Is everything alright?!"

You tried to catch your breath and rubbed your hand against your aching chest. "Yes, I'm fine, Senjuro. We should prepare something, since it’s Kyojuros birthday today. Maybe he'll manage to come back from his mission today." You took a deep breath and gave him a smile. To reassure him further you patted his head with your good hand. He smiled excitedly and went to work. Of course, that was a lie, but you didn’t want to scare Senjuro any further.

The aching in your chest didn’t soothe for the next few days until you saw Kaname, Kyojuro’s Kasugai crow, and Senjuro who fell sobbing onto his knees. Since that day the world was not the way it was supposed to be. At least not for you.

You didn’t remember the months that followed, even his funeral was in a blurr. You only knew that everyday was a new dread. And everytime you did not manage to suppress your feelings you started to hyperventilate, fear threatening to consume you again and again and again. It had no end in sight.

“Life has not been the same as before since I lost you.”

You had been advised to write letters to yourself to deal with the grief. But it did not change anything, not really. You were more reserved than ever and your friends and some of the Hashira had been worried about you. The cheerful side they had seen in you at the announcement of your engagement was all gone. Now you were just a shadow of yourself. As if your light had been stolen from you. The light and fire called Kyojuro.

"I talk about you, like you still haven't left yet."

Several months passed, you had left Rengoku estate a while ago since you couldn't bear the sight of Senjuro or Shinjuro. You felt sorry for Senjuro but your pain, the guilt you gave yourself was too great. If you hadn't broken your arm then you would have been on this train with him. Then you could have defeated this Uppermoon together. Then he would have survived. Then you would probably be married and maybe even blessed with a baby. But that was all just wishful thinking. A fantasy that would never come true again.

"You didn't say goodbye, and a part of me believes that means you're coming back."

But he wasn't coming back and the only thing you got from him was the flame breathing. After your arm was fixed and the cast removed, you started your training. And you were training like you had been possessed. You completed one mission after another, killed so many demons you lost count. You tried to distract yourself from your own grief that was holding so tight on you. Others tried to talk to you, tried to help you, but you just wanted to be left alone until one day the Kasugai crow from Ubuyashiki approached you.

You humbly bowed to the man who was now bedridden.

“My dear child, I may be blind, but I can see your sadness and anger at Kyojuro's loss. He really was an extraordinary child."

You stood silent. You had reverted to your old patterns after his death. Your mouth and facial expressions closed as ever. Your heart was not just broken, it was shattered into pieces, never able to feel anything again and yet he was able to break your hard shell with his soft voice.

“Master, how may I serve you?”

“I want you to be the next Pillar of Flame. You were Kyojuro’s Tsuguko after all and you also killed more than 50 demons. I'm sure he would have wanted that."

Your head snapped up and your gaze darted between Kagaya and Amane, your expression twisted in pain until you laid your head on the tatami in a deep bow to hide your tears, shoulders shaking.

"My dream of being a Pillar... If I had known that I would become Hashira at the cost of your life, I would have put the sword down forever."

Weeks passed and you performed the duties of the Flame Hashira with flying colors. Though your flame was not as hot as Kyojuro's. With the grief you were battling inside your mind and your shattered heart it was cold. You were cold.

“I don’t want them to know the way I loved you. I don't think they’d understand it. I loved and I lost you and it hurts like hell.”

Another two Uppermoons were defeated by Tokito and Kanroji. There was an exchange between the Pillars and they mentioned the young Kamado boy and how his sister Nezuko was able to conquer the sun. You remember the name as Shimizu and even his crow Matsuemon Tennoji approached you, telling you that Tanjiro Kamado had a message for you, but you had no desire to talk to anyone. Not because you had anything against the boy with the demon sister, but because you just wanted to be alone. Alone with your grief that you were not able to overcome. Kyojuro was your foundation. He had taken up so much space with his mood and volume, that it seems all the more empty now that he’s gone. His passing left a deep hole in you. And the worst part was you were slowly forgetting him.

“I can no longer remember the sound of your strong and steady heartbeat.”

Your thoughts were interrupted as you watched the argument between Shinazugawa and Giyuu. You understood what Giyuu wanted to say, but his choice of words were poor and he only got misunderstood. However, you chose not to intervene like Mitsuri did, but just to silently observe everything. The special training with the Hashira began, but like Giyuu you did not participate, not yet.

"You would hate what I've become."

Shimizu came flying to you and informed you of an emergency and forced you to follow her without giving any further information. That wasn't usually her way and a bad premonition settled over your thoughts when you recognized the way to the Rengoku Estate. Fear spread through you when you entered the property, breathing heavily from your run, and found it empty. No sign of Senjuro. Panic rose as you heard your own trembling voice calling for the little boy.

A shoji door opened and your eyes widened in surprise as you jumped slightly back. “Y/N, you're here. I'm glad you made it. Senjuro isn't here right now, but please come in. There's a conversation overdue between us.”It was Shinjuro, the father and also former Flame Hashira. He looked different than you saw him the last time. He had been drunk and you had been terrified and a different person that time.

And you remembered that it was the first and last encounter between the both of you. Although you had lived in the Rengoku estate for some time, Shinjuro always stayed in his room so you never saw each other. Now he looked at you with a clear gaze before returning back to the room and leaving you alone in the hallway and forcing you to follow him.

Shimizu, who had sat on your shoulder, got an angry look from you which made the crow immediately take off again.

With a queasy stomach you entered the room that was considered the place of honor for the Rengokus and where the flame haori was draped and the diaries were on the shelves. Shinjuro sat on his knees on the tatami mat and gestured for you to sit opposite him, which you did, but you kept your nichirin sword to your left as you weren't really comfortable being alone with him. You would never make the mistake of underestimating the former Hashira.

Of course, this did not remain hidden from his watchful eyes and yet he said nothing. His face was shaved and he himself was clean. He appeared generally very different, calm and collected.

“Senjuro missed you very much. He often speaks of you as his Aneue."

That gave you a pang in your already broken heart, but you said nothing. Was that why Shimizu tricked you here? You had missed Senjuro very much and it hurt you in your soul to have left the boy alone with his grief, but you couldn't stay. Your own grief, it was too much to handle as it weighed on you and you didn't want to put the boy through more troubles.

“Thank you for mourning Kyojuro-”

You gave him a sharp look that silenced him momentarily. What did he mean with thank you for mourning Kyojuro? What did he think was the relationship between the two of you? Your anger seeped through every pore, but you remained silent, since you wanted to know what this was about.

“Y/N, I am embarrassed about my behavior when we first met. I should have recognized you then and I should have stayed after your village burned down. I know you were alone and yet I had decided that you would be better off not knowing exactly what happened. I was wrong and inflicted a personal hell on you.”

All your anger evaporated with his words and your eyes widened as you saw the senior bow low, his forehead touching the tatami mat. "Rengoku-san, please-" You wanted him to get up, but didn’t move and let him talk.

“My dear wife became ill and died while I wallowed in self-pity over my own incompetence. So like the fool I am, I pulled away and drowned myself in sake. You proved to be a way better person by becoming a Hashira with what Kyojuro taught you.” He lifted his head and looked at you. “I want to give you the Haori of the Rengoku’s as only the Flame Hashira wear them and I am sure Kyojuro would have wanted that too.”

Tears formed in the corners of your eyes as they flitted back and forth between the haori and the Shinjuro, who took the white flame-patterned robe from the rack and folded it into place and laid it in your trembling hands. You stared at the white cloth on your lap until you slowly picked it up and rubbed it against your cheek. It had, of course, been cleaned and patched, but the distinct smell of Kyojuro was unmistakably still in it and the memory of him welled up, threatening to overwhelm you.

A desperate wail escaped your throat as you cried bitter tears with the haori in your arms. The first tears since Kyojuro's death. You couldn't take the suppressed pain anymore and needed something to hold on to and then you felt the big warm hand on your shoulder and looked with tear-filled eyes into the eyes of a father who understood your pain like no other.

He pulled you into his arms and another sob escaped your throat. Shinjuro knew about your pain because he had also lost a loved one, because he had also lost a son. The two of you lay in each other's arms like a father would embrace a daughter, comforting each other until a young voice rang out in the halls and opened the shoji door to the room.

"Father, I am back home and- Y/N-chan!" Senjuro dropped everything in his hand when he saw the two of you comforting each other with the Haori between you. You turned to Senjuro and pulled him into your arms, the tears continued to flow and even the little boy sobbed in your arms and held onto you with his dear life. “Aneue, I missed you so much…”

And god did you miss him too. “Senjuro, I am so terribly sorry for leaving you alone…"

~~~

You could breathe more freely. The pain was still the same, the hole in your chest still there, but a weight had been lifted from your shoulders after you allowed yourself to cry. You stroked the white fabric of the Haori that now draped over your shoulders and felt the presence of Kyojuro’s spirit on your shoulders. A little smile crept onto your lips for the first time since his death.

You made your way back when you saw Giyuu and the Kamado boy chatting. They both looked at you in surprise, as if they hadn't expected you. The younger one saw you with a look as if he knew about your deep sorrow and grief. As if he was able to smell it from a distance and yet he met you with a sincere and friendly smile. "L/N-san, it's a pleasure to meet you." He bowed to you.

It was hard for you to smile back so you just nodded politely. "Nice to meet you too, Tanjiro Kamado." Your eyes fell on his handguard. The boy also noticed your gaze and became nervous, seemingly knowing your connection with the previous owner. He probably thought you wanted it back. "Don't worry, just because I was his fiancé and now Flame Pillar doesn't mean I'm entitled to his handguard. I'm sure he would be happy that you have it." This time you managed to give him a smile that made him blush and you thought to yourself what a good-natured boy he was.

Giyuu stared at your haori, knowing the importance of carrying something from people you loved. Because he himself carried Tsutako and Sabito with him, but he said not a word about it. That wasn't necessary because suddenly a Kasugai crow flew screeching over your heads.

“EMERGENCY SUMMONS! EMERGENCY SUMMONS! AN ATTACK ON UBUYASHIKI MANSION!”

You exchanged just a quick glance among yourselves before all three of you sprinted in the same direction, but you weren't fast enough. Several explosions went off and you could only stare at the rising flames in shock. An old fear wanted to take hold of you, but his spirit, the spirit in this haori drove you on. No, you were no longer afraid of the flames because now you were the Flame and when all the Hashiras gathered in front of Muzan to attack him, the sound of a biwa pang rang out and the ground beneath you all disappeared.

~~~

It was an unfamiliar situation in an unknown place. It was more important than ever to keep your eyes open and stay focused, which is why you, Tanjiro and Giyuu were staying together and wandering around this Castle of Infinity. Suddenly you all saw one of the crows who gave you the news of Shinobu's death. Another hole in your heart, but now wasn't the time to mourn. You had to find and defeat Muzan, or at least one of the Uppermoons. Suddenly the whole place started shaking.

"ABOVE!" It came from Giyuu and suddenly a pink-haired man with tattoos stood in front of you and with his fixation towards Tanjiro and with the number in his eye you knew immediately who it was.

The attacks of Akaza were brutal. You used all the techniques that you could think of to protect the young Kamado boy from the demon's fixation towards him. But along that way you noticed the skill and breathing the Kamado boy used to attack the demon and that he had achieved the strength of a Hashira. You performed an attack, drawing the attention of Akaza.

"You!" He pointed his finger at you while you tried to catch your breath. “You wear the same Haori as Kyojuro. You even fight like him with the same fighting spirit! State your name! I wanna know the name of the person who developed this wonderful sword technique. I can feel that you are strong!"

But you didn't want to talk to the demon that killed your beloved one. How dare he even say his first name? It was him who took your beloved Kyojuro. He was to blame for your grief and for other people who loved him as well. It was all his fault!

Anger spread through you, which grew into an uncontrollable firestorm. Your heart was beating wildly in your chest and you were feeling hot all over. Your whole body was literally burning as if you had a fever. You shouldn't be able to move with this fever and yet you feel an irrepressible strength growing in you.

Become the flame that consumed you, my water lily. Set your heart ablaze…

Senses that were closed off to you have been awakened and dragged out to the place where your strong opponent stands. You understood now that the intense struggle to survive increases one’s skills. You became fast like an uncontrolled wildfire, and you and Giyuu launched one attack after another. Your speed was out of this world and yet you could keep up, you could see everything and even through him. It was strange how calm you were in this moment even knowing you were on the edge of death, but that didn’t matter at that moment. You had to go on.

It was one of the most memorable fights you've ever experienced. A headless demon who continued to fight, refusing to accept his weakness. And he didn’t die by any of your hands but ended up using his destructive attack that would have killed them all on himself. If he would have not done that, you wouldn't know how you were going to get out of here alive. Akaza was truly a strong opponent and all three of you had reached your limits. Tanjiro was the first to realize it was over and also the first to lose consciousness. Even Giyuu had to brace himself with his broken nichirin and lost consciousness. Shit. You tried to reach the both men when you felt how the rest of your strength left you and you too fell unconscious.

You woke up to a burning smell and got up so quickly that it made you dizzy. Still aware of the situation, you checked your surroundings only to see Giyuu half-naked in front of a fire. Tanjiro woke up from his unconsciousness just seconds after you and asked what happened.

“I tried to stop my bleeding, but it’s not working, so I’m going to cauterize the wound. You both are also bleeding. If it doesn’t stop I’ll burn it. So strip down and come here.” Giyuu stared into the fire and it seemed like he was saying it more to Tanjiro, but you knew that the wound on your shoulder was still bleeding even if you tried to stop it with your concentrated breathing.

You did as he said and stripped your shirt and sat next to Giyuu only with your binding to hold your breast together. Without paying much attention you saw how Tanjiro was first blushing and then getting all pale while seeing your burned scars, but he did not say anything. It was weird but you didn't mind seeing your scars anymore. You had long since accepted who you were and were no longer ashamed of your past or what it had made of you.

As Giyuu cauterized the wound on your back, while gritting your teeth in pain, your tried to think of something else to distract yourself from the pain when Tanjiro gasped loudly.

“Y/N-san! Your chest!”

Surprised you looked down and saw what had startled him. Even Giyuu looked surprised. At the top of your heart were dark red marks of flames that spread to your left shoulder. So this is what the mark of the flame looked like. Interesting how it was sprinkled over the heart and not on the face like Tanjiro or Giyuu.

"I guess I have to thank Kyojuro for that." You smiled as you put your hand on your heart.

“Y/N-san… Now that you mention it. Rengoku-san had some last words for you. I tried to get through you, but-”

"I know Tanjiro." You gave him a smile. “I wasn't myself until today. Please, tell me what his last words were to me.”

“He said that you should not grieve too much and to feel free to let him wait in the afterlife. That he will wait for you.” You saw the tears forming in the boy’s eyes, while he brought you the last words of Kyojuro.

You huffed a little smile and thanked him.There were no tears, there was no time for them because they were at war, but a little memory crept into your mind and your thoughts went back. You remembered a moment with Kyojuro where you both laid naked in bed after being intimate. Both being in love and looking into each other’s eyes. His hands never stopped touching and caressing you, both the healthy and the scarred parts. He saw no difference, but that wasn't why you resorted to the memory. It was his words back then. "When wounds are healed by love, the scars are beautiful." You were healed by his love and now you are fighting here with the same ambition he had then. To protect humanity, to defeat Muzan.

~~~

Muzan was dead. The demons no longer existed and a new age had begun. A peace emerged that had cost many sacrifices, both mental and physical. Only three of the Hashira survived. Sanemi Shinazugawa, Giyuu Tomioka and you. You were all marked by the war and yet you knew that it was worth it. The Demon Slayer Corps no longer existed, so you felt obliged to return the haori to the Rengoku family as you were no Rengoku and no Pillar anymore. Shinjuro and Senjuro asked you to move in with them, as they saw you as a part of their family, but you politely declined. It didn't feel right.

“Because everything feels wrong without you.”

Years had passed and the grief in your heart was your constant companion together with Shimizu who never left your side. You sat in your home with your brush and still wrote those letters to yourself. But not only to yourself but also to others. Which was why you knew about their happy lives and how they all had started their own family while you were being alone. You made peace with that, because you knew that you can’t ever fall in love with someone else again. Kyojuro was and always will be your one true love.

Your 25th birthday was approaching and you knew what to expect. Amane had enlightened you and the others about the price of the mark and you had only been waiting for this day. You felt your strength drain from you and you needed to lay down on the floor. Shimizu worriedly nudged your yukata as if she was trying to get you to stand up. You smiled faintly at her trouble and gently stroked her feathers with a single finger. "Shimizu, you were always a loyal soul to me." You saw your crow friend's tears as you closed your eyes slowly.

You didn’t feel any fear. Only hope because they said you could see your loved one after you pass, they said you reunite with those you had lost; that was your only consolation as you laid there. Kyojuro, your eternal flame, was always in your thoughts. Never leaving you, never wanting to let go of him.

"I will see you in heaven, my love," you whispered, breathing your last.

Your eyes snapped open and you stared at the dark ceiling, before turning sideways to look at the time on your phone. 04:34 am. Again a weird dream about these demons and yet another sleepless night. Did I cry in my sleep again? With a quick hand movement you swiped the tear stains on your face away and sighed. You always woke up with this deep yearning, like you lost something very precious but forgot what it was. Was it maybe this Kyojuro? But who was that? You were not sure, but you knew that these dreams were trying to tell you something…

🌊 🔥🌊 🔥🌊 🔥🌊 🔥🌊 🔥🌊 🔥🌊 🔥🌊 🔥🌊 🔥🌊 🔥

That was hard, even for an angst lover like me. I feel heavy and accomplished at the same time and I just hope you all don't hate me too much. I wanna thank everyone who stayed tuned and loyal to the story and rooted from chapter to chapter. I see you all and I love you all ❤️

Again and again and big thanks to my beloved @desi-the-blue-eyed-kakushi who knew how this going to end and cursed at me for many times for weeks. But it was all worth it, right?

For all those who hate me... This is not the end of this story! Watch out for my next posts (and the memes if you wanna laugh)

EDIT: The sequel is here! Shards of Glass

Taglist:

@krillfromsky @kingmultiverse404 @deepressed @nelissecrectplace @yomoya-girl @theycallmemrsbarnes @roninishere @beelzmunchkin @kyojurismo @stuckinthewrongworld @lynnw @love-me-satoru @felix99999l @noarawriteszr @strawberrymm @rye-flower @demonslayeranimex @kittenssss-blog-blog @hanatsuki-hime @kxthxrinx3180 @thatw3ird0 @lovely-nayiq @annie-napier @cole-silas @inonezu-808 @witchy-scribblings @drowsydoggy @anjox @xkanrojimitsurix @ahashiraswife @mamayan @flametrashira @crazycatlddy

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midnight-in-town · 2 months

Note

Hello. I love your blog very much, honestly, thank you for sharing your ideas, theories... My first language is not English, so excuse me if you don't understand everything I'm going to say. It's about Black Butler... I've been thinking and I would like to know what do you think, about the idea of the end of Kuroshitsuji where O!Ciel gives his soul to Sebastian, but his physical body becomes resurrected just like his twin brother? Do you see that idea possible? Do you think O!Ciel would learn how to live for himself and not for revenge??

Hey Anon ! Don't worry, my first language isn't English either and your English is very good ! :))

Thank you very much for reading and for the nice words (^3^) that question is very interesting.

First of all, I'd like to remind you that, for now, my favorite possible ending for Kuroshitsuji would be Seb not getting to eat our!Ciel's soul, whether our!Ciel survives or dies at the end.

Aside from that, I don't think our!Ciel's meant to become a bizarre doll, mostly because bizarre dolls are a plot point correlated with not mourning one's grief and being unable to move on.

Take UT who made it happen,

take Queen Victoria who's interested in it (for war and maybe to bring Albert back),

take any of the Parliamentarians who were afraid to die,

take even Bizarre Dolls themselves who are perfect if they have a lot of "yearning for the future"...

...and you have the main recipe for antagonists in Kuroshitsuji (UT perhaps being the sole exception since Yana said "he may not be exactly an antagonist").

Our!Ciel himself is a main character obsessed with living to get his revenge, with finding out what happened to his family 4 years ago, knowing very well that, through his contract with Seb, that means giving up voluntarily on his happiness and hope for his future.

For me, what makes Kuroshitsuji such a good story is that it establishes, despite having a demon eating souls as its main character, that getting obsessed about revenge is not a good thing, because ultimately one has to move on with their life.

Mourning is painful and takes time, but it's a process that is necessary if one intends to move on. The Bizarre Doll project in all its aspects is the antithesis of that and that's why I don't think our!Ciel, whom the story establishes is on the wrong path for being revenge-obsessed, is meant to become one.

In fact, it's because real!Ciel is a potential big bad antagonist (please read the RCMT recap post, in case you don't understand what I mean) that he's the one who became a Bizarre Doll. Just like Queen Victoria being in a contract with a demon and possibly the culprit behind Vincent's and Rachel's murders is paralleling our!Ciel wanting revenge through a contract with a demon like Seb.

It's all about parallels and about our!Ciel facing people who made the wrong choices before him, hence why 1) I'm hoping that Seb won't get to eat his soul, because 2) our!Ciel will finally admit that losing his soul to Seb is not what he wants, since only living for revenge is not exactly living in the first place [x][x] and breaking the cycle of revenge his family was caught into is perhaps his fate.

The way I see things, Yana hinting that UT may not exactly be a villain is because UT is the only character affiliated with the BD project who will maybe realize that, by not mourning dead Phantomhives, he'll lose the ones who are still alive (our!Ciel, Frances, Liz, Ed).

TL;DR for me the story calls for the failure and destruction of the BD project first and for our!Ciel to give up on the contract with Seb second, because moving on is ultimately what Kuroshitsuji is about (and don't even get me started on the fall of the Shinigami organization for the exact same reason).

So I don't know if our!Ciel will survive this story, but I certainly hope he won't become a BD, because thematically it makes no sense ! As always, I could be wrong though.

I hope I answered your questions ? Thank you again for reading and for the sweet words !! Have a good day. :))

#kuroshitsuji #ciel phantomhive #undertaker #sebastian michaelis #queen victoria #2CT #blue revenge arc #rcmt #kuroshitsuji theory #ending of kuro #anon #answers #my analysis

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doublel27 · 1 year

Note

That’s so valid about Owen. “I’m gonna go annoy my kids now”

And there was something so squishy about the 3 of them being a lil family unit now 🥹

I'm sure whoever you are, dear sweet nonny, you threw this in here knowing I would likely meta on about it.

And I've been thinking about the end scenes nearly all day.

I'm notoriously interested in Owen as a character. He's a facinating character who, like his son, has had his life scarred by loss. Owen's whole raison d'etre is saving his brother. It's why saving that one little girl from drowning sent him into a life focused on saving others. Then he lost his entire firehouse in 9/11, and slowly lost other survivors of 9/11 to cancer and mental health disorders.

Then, he has to bring his son back from the dead and moves him to Texas in an attempt to save his life and restart, all while diagnosed with cancer. We lose Tim Rosewater which sets Owen into deep levels of depression and guilt, because he'll never be able to keep the promise that everyone who starts a shift goes home at the end of it.

Gwyn is in town, and they're still in love and he's working on making it work. They're gonna have a baby and Owen has a redo. He's got a chance to do it RIGHT this time. Because Owen's fatal flaw is always believing if things had been different, if he had been better, if he'd beena moment sooner: maybe he could have fixed things. He had a whole speech to that effect in last night's episode, where he figured if he'd known about 9/11 ahead of time that he could have prevented his whole team from dying.

Then the baby's not his and Gwyn leaves and whatever Owen managed to cobble together of his mental health for Gwyn and teh baby disipates and there's a lot of very classic PTSD/depressive/anxiety things that come up in Owen.

And then we lose Gwyn which is devestating to everyone but Owen soldiers on for TK, but he's...not doing well, at all. He finally gets his ass to therapy and even though we see him make some progress he's still keeping TK at a distance. Mostly because TK's doing well and Owen CANT be Captain Save a Ho for TK in these moments. He does crop up (usually) when TK's struggling, but only when there's something TO DO.

This episode marked a change.

Owen, in talking with O'Brien, who is giving a speech pretty reminicent of Owen's own speeches, about how he made a promise and he didn't keep it because look at this awful thing that happened, and Owen manages to give solid reasoning to be like "Look, he's alive and his son's alive and that's something."

And then it's like the lightbulb goes off in Owen's brain as O'Brien takes off after his great nephew - that Owen is indeed alive, and his son is also alive, and that's something. He may not have saved everyone but he saved TK.

Then, Owen goes and picks up food (which is really one of Carlos and TK's main love langauges, is feeding people - TK does it with takeout because he shouldn't be in the kitchen) and brings it over. But he doesn't just pick up any take out, he picks up the chinese food that TK introduced Gwyn to that they used to eat as a family.

I take this to be significant in multiple ways:

One, the Gwyneth Morgan of it all. Owen picked something that was a family thing and brought it over. Which is a very significant thing to do.

Two, it's one of the few times that food is involved and Owen doesn't mention the healthy/unhealthy nature of the food. Look, I could probably write a whole disertation on why Owen Strand, who has survived 21 1/2 years post 9/11 is obsessed with his health, but nearly every interaction with food, Owen has a coment about it. He doesn't make a single comment about this round of chinese food. I lied, he doesn't mention it in 3.08 either. But that's in the wake of grief, and maybe here Owen's still living in it.

Three, ordering chinese is very clearly TK's comfort meal. Look, a lot of us who are neurospicy joke about TK being neurospicy. And when you are neurospicy, there are certain foods that are..."safe" or an instant "yes" all the time. And we default to them often. I know when I'm struggling when I'm like "It's a comfort food day." (I have a rotation) but it eliminates decision fatigue and the need to emotionally regulate if it's not exactly what you wanted. Chinese food has a connection to Gwyn, and comfort and it comes up a lot when TK's stressed. (Even in 3.03, when Carlos doesn't come home, TK ordered chinese for them)

And then Owen does something he hasn't done...at all...since TK moved out (maybe they did when they moved into Owen's house and I don't know where they had chinese in 3.08) but Owen shows up at their place to share a meal with them.

And it's significant because TK and Carlos have invited him over for many meals between seasons 2 and 3, and Owen never accepts. Or, in the case of 2.11, Owen accepts and then goes off to catch an arsonist instead, which could be his hero complex but could also be a general avoidance of things that are uncomfortable for Owen, like TK growing up and not needing Owen anymore.

For as much as Owen has been an absent father for various parts of TK's life, because of his PTSD and trauma and general *waves hands* Owenness, Owen is a loving dad who would do just about anything for his son. We know this, we've watched him do it. But Carlos is also a competent control freak who Owen trusts implicitly with TK's life on numerous occasions. I do believe there's a big part of Owen's psyche that doesn't know what to do if he's not NEEDED.

But at the end of 4.06, he shows up, with chinese food, which is not needed because TK and Carlos already made a beautiful dinner and are looking very handsome, but he comes in and tells TK that he's proud of him, again. And you know, not trying to blow people up is a very low bar, but you know, TK clears it. And then they stay and have dinner, and Owen inserts himself in his son's life, not because TK needs him, but because Owen WANTS to be there, and that's such a drastic change for these two.

I love that Carlos and TK bring him in. Look, we could punish Owen for his mistakes and transgressions, but that's never been who TK is and this is his last living biological parent (Enzo forever) and TK loves him. And Carlos loves TK and respects Owen and wants them to have a good relationship.

And I cannot wait for Owen to "do what he does best" (owen's words) and be a pain in their asses about this wedding.

#911 lone star spoilers #owen strand #owen strand meta #tk strand #the strands #911 lone star #911 lone star 4.06 #911 lone star meta #doublel27 talks #anon ask #anon reply

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feywildfox · 3 months

Text

drowned dogs and chain fences

Rating: Explicit

Archive Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death

Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics)

Relationships: Roy Harper & Jason Todd, Dick Grayson & Jason Todd

Characters: Jason Todd, Dick Grayson, Roy Harper

Additional Tags: #Dead Dove: Do Not Eat #Character Death #Violence #Blood and Gore #Trauma #Traumatized Jason Todd #Heavy Angst #Resurrected Jason Todd #You Have Been Warned

Word count: 1,587

Summary:

How do you forgive someone who let you die? Who buried you, six feet deep in the regret and grief of a lost child - and yet let your killer live. The person who expects you to greet them with a smile and open arms. Who's very visage inspires hatred and rage so great it leaves you breathless. How do you forgive? Jason can't. He doesn't know anyone who could I.E. jason todd has done a lot in his life. he's also been through some supremely traumatic things and has a perfectly valid reason for being an antihero who kills. changing that example of what happens when batman's "morals" cost the life of someone he supposedly cares about is boring. so here we are.

Chapter 1: fumes of tomorrow

Jason Todd is fine. He's fine. Really, he's totally okay. He hates Bruce Wayne, but it's fine. He's surviving. Maybe he's even healing or something dumb like "Accepting and moving on from his trauma" and whatever other shit Tim would say.

Tim annoys him, but Jason can vaguely see the good intent behind it. Damien is a complete ass though, and Jason likes that more. The ‘family’, if one could call whatever it is that, surrounds him sometimes. They care, or at the least pretend to. But Jason doesn't really care. He could do without Tim, or Damien, or Stephanie, or any of them. Especially Bruce, the self-righteous asshole.

Well. Except for Dick. Probably.

It's the whole reason, almost, for the changes; the rubber bullets and the restrained violence. It's all for Dick. It was the only way Dick would even look at him, much less talk. Years of restrictions, preventing himself from punishing those who deserved it. Evil just allowed to walk free because Batman didn't like doing what was needed.

And Dick, loosely, followed that. He couldn't truly understand what it was like.

The gasping pain, the dull ache that spread after the sharp crack of broken bone. The blood clogging his lungs, drowning in it the way one drowned at sea. It's the break of finally, really and truly begging for his life. For Bruce to save him like everyone else. To be rescued and carried away, to be loved in your moments of pain.

The hero never comes, in this one. It's the story of Jason's life.

So really, none of them understand. Dick doesn't, but he tried. Still tries, even if his affections and attentions are conditional. Jason is a beaten dog tied to his master, and he will crawl back eventually. Bruce just doesn't understand it's not he who is the master.

Maybe he'll never understand. Jason wishes he would. Bruce wont stop trying and it drives him nuts.

Jason can't. He doesn't know anyone who could.

(Maybe Superman, they guy is as close to a saint in patience as one can get.)

Jason's rage bloomed with his rebirth, and his morals broke in that filthy alley full of trash. The innocence and willingness to keep his hands "clean" stayed buried when he clawed his way out of the dirt above his coffin. The hole filled in with slushy mud, cold sleet steeped in Gotham's chemicals rinsed the silt from his mouth, wetted his lips anew, and Jason Todd knew he wasn't the same person anymore. He died that day, and part of him stayed dead. No one understands what that's like.

He doesn't think he'll meet anyone who does.

Jason can live with that, as long as Dick is there. Rose too. She is a flower that blooms once a year, but is still someone who he knows he can lean on; though Jason's a stubborn bastard and doesn't do it often. Artemis is similar, though more adamant about keeping in touch. It's a small group, and maybe even Kori counts, after Dick had reintroduced them.

Roy has been his biggest supporter, truly. Even when Jason was lost in the depths of his soul, the madness of dying and coming back but not like the Jason before - Roy was there. Bandages after one to many syndicate beatdowns, antibiotics to fight infections, even his support when Jason gave his rage more fuel. The deaths of the gang members feeding it like gasoline. Roy was there to watch his back. Always has that stupid shit-eating grin and the most asinine of quips. Roy is always there.

They're his family. That's all that matters to Jason. He would do anything, has done things, to try and keep them safe, happy. Jason would sooner gnaw off his arm than let one come to true harm.

Which frankly, is a herculean task with their line of work.

It's all okay though. He's meeting Roy and Dick for coffee, even though the two are genial and that's it. It's one of those rare sunny days in Gotham, the cloud cover light enough that blue sky is crackling through light grey. Weak winter light soaks into his upturned face, and Jason breathes the fumes of a rotten city. He gives a twitch of lips that might constitute a smile.

The coffee shop is across the street, he can see Roy sitting in the back corner next to the kitchen door. He's drinking what Jason knows to be the most outrageous coffee order he can think of, that he's sure to hear about when he makes it in. The windows are bar-free in this nicer part of Gotham. The part that gets the money to rebuild more than others. It's why he picked it. Somewhere totally unlikely for him to be. A hidden-in-plain-sight sort of deal. He won't be caught dead in this sort of place. Makes it perfect to get out of the house for a few hours, meet up, and pretend to relax.

The crosswalk light flickers half-heartedly and he begins to move. The windows dimly reflect the sun. His eyes dart around for a second, but end up back on Roy. Jason always keeps tabs on his family.

The door next to Roy opens as Jason makes it halfway across the street. He meets the eyes of the server that steps out, pale skinny legs awkward under the skirt of the uniform. Something sparks in his head, recognition that he can't place. The face mask the worker wears is a lurid purple, and the shit-brown eyes above it dart manically around after they meet his. It makes Jason's pulse race. It hits him moments too late.

No. His heart jumps to his throat, he shoves the person in front of him to the side but there's nothing he can do as the nightmare of his fantasies pulls a gun from the apron he's wearing, and then Roy slumps, dead.

The flash is so bright, a supernova of red mist as the side of Roy's face disappears. The patrons start screaming, running, Jason can't get inside. There's mad cackling as the spectre of his death does a pirouette and shoots indiscriminately, breaking windows and hitting pedestrians. A car screeches to a stop outside - lime green 1960s VW Bug his mind categorizes - and the Joker clambers over broken glass and bodies as Jason finally, finally, makes it inside.

He's torn, the raging sea inside quelled by the feral need to protect, to lick the wounds of his family and make sure Roy is alright. That wins out, and once again the Joker gets away. The man waggles his fingers at Jason, blowing a pantomime of a kiss goodbye.

Jason lets out a guttural scream, lost in the pandemonium around him.

The booth is red. The floor is red. The bodies that aren't Roys stain his shoes with death. It smells like viscera and iron, heavy on his tongue.

It's - it's a dream. One of his many nightmares he just needs to wake the fuck up from. Roy will pop up and laugh at him, the coffee spilled on the table drip drip drip dripping down his lap a lament on his tongue as he orders a new one.

Roy doesn't get up.

Exposed orbital bone peaks between jagged edges of flesh, grey matter and brain more mush than formed organ. Jason reaches a shaking hand to the - the body? Roy is dead.

A shake to the shoulder only achieves a limp arm sliding onto the seat. His left hand sits on the table, brown button up wet and dark. There's a ring on his hand Jason has never seen before. It's shiny, new. The band is silver. Jason wants to puke.

“Roy. Roy? Wake up. Did Dick put you up to this?” His voice is hoarse and rough. The blunt edge of panic is close to the surface. Jason's face is cold. Something drips down his chin. He ignores it.

The cuff of his cream turtleneck he'd stolen from Dick’s closet is pink. He grips Roy's soaked shoulder, tries to move him sitting up. The thing-that-should-be-Roy flops over, red hair in disarray, solitary eye unseeing. A garbled whine gets caught in Jason's throat.

The distant sirens scream, circling ever closer. Figures that Gotham cops would actually show up here.

A crunch behind him in the suddenly realized silence has Jason whirling, drawing the hidden gun. Roy is dead roy is dead hesdeaddeadead Protect hesDEAD -

It's Dick.

Or, rather, Nightwing. The blue bird stands starkly against the black, barrel of the gun firmly pressed to the center.

Dick - Nightwing - has his hands firmly up by his head, and Jason realizes that he's being talked to. The droning in his ears slowly turns to words.

“- it's me, you know me. We need to go, okay? I know you don't want to leave him but the cops are almost here,” the muttered ‘for once’ drags a gasping chuckle out of his mouth.

The gun wavers. Jason should see it coming but - hesdeadandtheworldiswrong - Nightwing is just fast enough to catch an off-kilter Jason off guard, and the world goes black.

#batfam #jason todd #dick grayson #red hood #dc comics #roy harper #nightwing #dead dove do not eat #dead dove fic

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empresskadia · 2 months

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Not Everyone Survives [Blue Team| Red Team| Naomi-010]

Prompt: You didn't survive This is my treat for you all, I said, we're gonna be sad together~ I got some Red Team content for you @jackpot-library

Maybe after Cortana, it should've been easier but that was a delusional hope, John doesn't stop, John cannot stop. It's mission after mission for him, with or without Blue team. He gives himself no time to collect himself, John doesn't want to think because if he does, he'd have to accept you're gone. And if he doesn't stop, maybe somewhere, something will stop him and he might get to see his beloved partner again. There isn't a day where he doesn't hold your dog tags and run his thumb across your name or service number and he's so gently with them like it's the last piece of you he has.

For all the battles Kelly's been through, she thought she could handle this death well, especially after losing Sam and the other Spartans, but this was so different. Whenever someone says your name, she'll shuts down, and leave the room without another glance. It doesn't matter if there is an outranking officer on deck, Fred and Linda do their best to cover for her. Kelly's never fully able to let go and always makes it a point to visit your grave often, maybe if she was fast enough this would have never happened.

In his mind, it's his fault, and Fred continuously blames himself, he apologizes again and again while cradling your body until Kelly places a hand on his shoulder. Even then, Fred still feels like you're there with him. Sometimes he'll say something to you and when there's no response, he looks around for a moment before realization sinks in and he apologizes to you again, if only he would've been fast, more prepared and it's a constant cycle that claws at whatever humanity he has left.

It took hours for Linda to move as she sat with your body for a very long, letting the cloth wrap you up, that maybe, you were just asleep under the sheet. For once in her life, she doesn't have the courage, she had held you while you died and it took all her strength. Linda was quiet before but now she only spoke when necessary, and even then, using hand signals more often than not. She always keeps a reminder of you with her, not that she could ever forget, she never would do you the dishonor. It's just a way to keep your memory alive and every shot she makes from then on out is for her partner.

There is a single threat that snapped in Jerome's mind when he witnessed the life drain out of his partner. He held you till the end while you bled out, unable to stop the inevitable no matter how hard he tried, it wasn't enough, he wasn't enough to stop this. And the only answer that's clear in his head is revenge. He will not rest until everyone involved is dealt with and suffers the same fate as his beloved. His partner was the most precious thing to him, and now you were gone, so why shouldn't there be repercussions? Why shouldn't someone pay?

It's hard for Douglas to go on without you, every time he sees someone that even remotely resembles his partner or an object that remembers him of you, his heart stops for a second. He'll visit your grave often with flowers he personally collected and sits there for a long time before telling you about recent missions. He doesn't want his partner to feel lonely, so if no one needs him, that's where the other Spartans can find him. Douglas often tells himself he can handle this, that he has to for your sake because you would be so upset with him if he didn't.

To everyone's surprise, Alice refuses to accept it for the longest time, she saves a seat for you everywhere, even making comments about how she'll tell you about this mission later. No one dares correct her, she wouldn't forgive them. Any weapons her partner may have owned are cared for because she wants them to be perfect for your next use and no one else is allowed to use it. She can't process her grief, this wasn't a challenge, and this wasn't something she could fix, sooner than later her grief turns into anger and Alice can only take it out on the field, littering the ground with her enemies.

Missing her partner hurts like hell; Naomi finally understands the phrase 'a broken heart', it's a wound that will never heal, it's a hole in her chest that will never be content again. And she can only circle back to her thoughts of how lonely you must've felt, that she hadn't been there to die with you or even hold you against her while the light faded from your eyes. Naomi had always been surrounded by death but never believed it could take her partner till she saw your body and could never bring herself to quite look at the stars the same way again. Her star in the sky was no longer there. There is no amount of cheering up that BB or Mal or Vaz can do to bring her back, but she tries to find her partner in the little things, in the breeze kissing her face, in the water dancing against her skin but Naomi misses you and wants her partner back.

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