#my anxiety and depression

[vole-mon-amour]

I wish there was less of "I wanna kill myself" used so casually and carelessly and as a "joke". you're not being funny, you're being toxic to yourself and to others. and if you do seriously want to kill yourself, seek some professional help.

"feeling like death today" are you? or you're just tired and sad and wanna spend a day in bed and don't do anything?

I'm sorry, but I am tired of seeing that. you probably don't realise what death actually means and how it affects your loved ones and what a lasting damage it causes. get yourself some better coping mechanisms and unlearn those harming not funny jokes.

and do seek professional help, it and meds can do wonders. and I'm saying this as someone who was afraid to do so and suffered for years and years instead.

#text #personal #I don't know how to tag this #people #my anxiety and depression

[mavigator]

i talked about it a little bit already but i have things to say about it. for context, i was born with amniotic band syndrome. the amniotic band wrapped around my left wrist in utero and stunted the growth of my hand. i was born with about half a palm, four nubs for fingers, and a twisted half of a thumb. i can open and close my thumb and pinkie joint like a claw.

yesterday at work i had a shift in the room with 5-10 year old kids. i had my left hand hidden in my sleeve (a bad habit of mine). a kid asked if he could see my hand, and even though internally i was debating running into traffic, i said “sure you can” and showed him my hands. he stared for a moment, looking disturbed, and then said “i don’t want to look at that anymore”. that hurt to hear, but i understand that kids are new to the world and he probably didn’t mean it out of malice. i put my hand away again, told him that it was okay, and that i was just born that way.

he then went on to talk about how he knows a kid with a similar hand to mine and called it “ugly”. i told him that wasn’t a very kind thing to say and that he wouldn’t feel good if someone said that to him, and he replied that no one would say that to him—because he has “normal hands”, and he’s glad he does because otherwise he’d be “ugly”. i tried to talk with him for a bit about how everybody is born differently, but he just started talking about a girl he knows with a “messed up face” and pulled on his face to make it look droopy. i went on some more about how it wasn’t very kind to talk about people that way, but the conversation moved on to something else.

i’ve told my supervisors about it and they’re going to have a talk with his mom. what i wanted to say is this: i’m genuinely not upset with the kid. kids are young and naturally curious, and he clearly simply hasn’t been taught about disabled people and kind ways to speak to/about others. which is why i am upset with his parent(s). i know he’s encountered visibly deformed/disabled people before (he said so himself!), yet his parent(s) clearly haven’t had any kind of discussion with him about proper language and behavior. i knew from birth that some people were just different than others, but my parents still made a point to assert to be kind to and accepting of others. i wonder if adults in his life are the type of people to hush him and usher him away when he points out someone in a wheelchair. that kind of thing doesn’t teach politeness. it tells children that disabled people are an Other than can’t be acknowledged or spoken about; which, to a child, means disability must be something bad.

i’m lucky enough that this was a relatively mild incident, and that i’m a grownup with thicker skin. i’m worried about the other kids he mentioned to me. has he been talking to them this way? when i was a kid, i had other kids scream, cry, and run away at the sight of my hand. or follow me around pointing at me and laughing at me. or tell me i couldn’t do something because i was ugly or incapable or whatever. one time a girl at an arcade climbed to the top of the skeeball machine, pointed at me, and screamed at me to put my hand away and wouldn’t stop crying until she couldn’t see me anymore. another time, a kid saw my hand, screamed at the top of her lungs, and ran into my friend’s arms, crying hysterically about how i was scaring her. that second incident made me cry so hard i threw up when i got home. i can kind of laugh it off now, but having people react to me that way as a child is something i’m still getting over. why do you think i have a habit of keeping my hand in my sleeve? it just irritates me to see children that have clearly not been taught basic manners and kindness—their parents Clearly missed something pretty important .

#and for the record i consider my deformity pretty mild. maybe i’m just used to it but things like amniotic band syndrome can turn out a lot #more severe. i rarely even call myself disabled because i don’t feel like the term is applicable to me. i’m more hindered by like #my adhd anxiety depression etc than i am my hand. so for those kids to react that way to what i THINK #is a pretty small thing. makes me worry about people that are more visibly disabled #Kids.That are more visibly disabled

[the-rainbow-of-doom]

(This post was sponsored by a 1+ hour commute)

#I'm so frustrated how little time and energy i have after a day is done #i didn't win the fight against depression to have lofe ruined by THAT now #lacking time and energy to go on job hunt.. it's all very small steps only #a part time job would be marvellous but what flat can be paid with that #maybe also my anxiety is stopping me from getting a new job. what if i get fired. what if it's horrible there. ahh.. i need more courage #mine capitalism #anti-capitalism #work

[kawaii-koimi]

am i allowed to feel tired when i only did the bare minimum today

#my post #i wonder when will i be free of #my anxiety and depression #it's...difficult

[dilfbuck]

eddie diaz + text posts

#911 #911edit #911 abc #eddie diaz #eddiediazedit #911 text posts #userknight #usercam #usernolan #.gfx #gif warning #hes so me coded i fear. i just gathered posts i feel deep in my own soul #half of these r from my own about tag LMAO #unfortunately eddie diaz is representation for grouchy gays with depression and anxiety a little too well #now my buck set has a boyfriend <3 love wins

[abbeyofcyn]

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt donnie #rise of the tmnt #my art #rottmnt mikey #cw anxiety #cw depression #vent art #feelings are hard #pj&j duo #smarts and craft

[uncanny-tranny]

I think it would really benefit people to internalize that mental illnesses are often chronic and not acute. Some of us will never be able to jump the hurdle of managing illness, much less sustaining a sense of normalcy. Many of us will never "recover," will never manage symptoms, will never even come close to appearing normal - and this is for any condition, even the ones labeled as "simple" disorders or "easy-to-manage" disorders.

It isn't a failure if you cannot manage your symptoms. It isn't a moral failure, and you aren't an awful person. You are human. There's only so much you can do before recognizing that you cannot lift the world. Give yourself the space to be ill because, functionally, you are.

#mental health #mental health advocacy #like... anxiety and depression are often concieved of as simple and easy to manage... #...but that isn't the case for so many of us. anxiety and depression just have a lot more research invested into them... #...and while i wish this were the case for literally every other condition it does alter people's perception of you to some extent... #...so while this is NOT solely about anxiety or depression it includes us... #...my anxiety and depression and PTSD have *destroyed* my life. this is chronic and will probably be life-long... #...and that isn't my fault. i've done the fucking work but guess what? that doesn't account for the fact that I Am Just ILL #the least we can do for each other is to be compassionate #be compassionate to those who cannot heal. be compassionate to the people who can't manage their lives. this world is scary enough #recognize that management of symptoms is something not all of us can do - even IF their condition is labeled as 'easy to manage' #i allowed myself to feel angry that i can't heal 'normally' and that was unfair as fuck toward myself #and i NEED people to internalize this so that MAYBE this could help somebody else who is where i was #i NEED them to understand that it's okay that they are where they are - sometimes shit just doesn't turn out how you expect or want #don't beat yourself over you being a person. you are struggling enough. you deserve to rest. just rest please #and just... give yourself space

[mentallyfukup]

#self h@rm #tw depressing thoughts #tw self destructive thoughts #mentally drained #tw depression #i hate my existence #sad thoughts #tw anxiety

[mercifullymad]

i feel passionately about the need to enfold people experiencing (or diagnosed) with "just" depression or anxiety into the mad pride project. the more people who view themselves as mad, the better. much as the rhetorical move from "neurotypical" to "neuroconforming" emphasizes the artifice & social construction of "neurotypicality," so too will expanding identification as "mad" expose the sane/mad dichotomy as a false one.

it's true that (some) people with "just" depression and/or anxiety have an easier time navigating the psych system than people who have more stigmatized diagnoses. but this is not to say that they necessarily have an easy time — the carceral psych system is hostile to everyone subsumed by it, even the most "privileged" patients. we should of course critique & examine how our experiences are shaped by various intersections of privilege, but we cannot forget or ignore how someone with "just" a depression/anxiety diagnosis can still experience the full force of the carceral psych system brought down upon them (including but not limited to involuntary institutionalization, police intervention, & forced medication or other forced treatment).

we must encourage, if not insist, that those with the least-stigmatized diagnoses view their difficult experiences navigating the psych system as bound up with the liberation of people who have more stigmatized diagnoses &, often, a more violent experience of the psych system. we need more people to drop the "i have anxiety/depression but i'm not crazy" line and say loudly, "i have anxiety/depression & i am crazy. my access to just treatment is linked to the conditions of all other crazy people, who are my allies, peers, & friends. we are united in our cause & we all deserve a more liberating system of care."

#mad pride #mad liberation #disability justice #the way that one IG influencer who called depression & anxiety “vanilla” diagnoses has lived rent-free in my mind for the past five years.. #i was soooo upset by that for like three years & now i'm like. okay. it is a little funny. #but also i do think that somewhere in the 'destigmatization'/commodification of anxiety/depression (treatment) #we have lost the plot & forgotten that 'just' these experiences on their own can still be deeply distressing & chronic & endangering #& can make people (be viewed as) just as 'crazy' as someone with a more stigmatized diagnosis #& for me personally my experiences of anxiety & depression have been far more disabling than anything else #sorry i keep editing this post to correct typos...story of my life

[weaponizedhorse]

If you have autism, ADHD AuDHD, depression, anxiety, OCD anything that causes you executive dysfunction where you feel overwhelmed by tasks and don't know where to start I need you to stop and read this because this website is about to change your life.

It is called goblin.tools and it is completely free and I believe it is life changing.

So this magic todo taskmaker is amazing. You can give it any kind of task you need to do and it will break it up into easy to understand, manageable, and accomplishable steps, (that you can then check off the list which probably my favorite part) like cleaning your room, making coffee, etc

In this example below I put the Magic ToDo Task as "take a shower" (but it can be any task)

Here is the lowest spicy take (aka not broken down into many steps)

And here is the highest spicy level (where the tasks are broken into many easily managable step that will tell you exactly what to do)

Any parts of this you feel like didn't give you enough steps? Need more clarity? No problem! Any step you can edit or break it into even smaller steps!

Let's say you are have a foggy brain day and need more instructions for washing your hair, here you go!

Legitimately it can break down any task, making them so much more approachable and manageable.

And if this incredibly cool task helper thing wasn't enough for you, the website has five other functions

A feature that adjusts the tone of your text, allowing for a more professional or sarcastic expression, ideal for business emails.

An emotion detection tool, which helps interpret the emotional content of a text, identifying anger, frustration, or other sentiments to clarify communication misunderstandings. (I think this feature could help a lot of autistic people SO much)

A function that estimates the time required for various activities, such as making the bed, providing practical scheduling help

There is an entire *insanely* cool cooking function (I am gonna have to make a post about that)

Something called the "Compiler"? I honestly don't get it. It says "Compile my braindump into a list of tasks" (so if someone figures that out please let me know)

And since it is tax season under the cut are the steps it gives you for filing your taxes on the lowest and highest task breakdown levels! :)

#the websites UI could use a lot of work #but the service is so good I don't care #executive dysfunction #autism #AuDHD #ADHD #depression #chronic illness #anxiety #OCD #ehlers danlos syndrome #fibromyalgia #also the name 'goblin.tool' is just fucking amazing #anytime I can check things off a list it give this one part of my brain a little tickle I love it

[thief-of-eggs]

No, I don’t need therapy, I need my OTP to become canon

#PLEASE please please #on my hands and knees #i think it’d cure me of all my mental illnesses actually #goodbye adhd #goodbye depression #goodbye anxiety #zukka #timkon #drarry #wolfstar #stucky #ships #fandoms #dc #marvel #superbat #jayvik #jegulus

[vole-mon-amour]

me: i can't wait to go back to bed and sleep.

me when it's time to sleep: can't sleep.

#2 am. wtf. #personal #my anxiety and depression #and i developed a headache #not fun

[carlarte]

Oh, Hazel, look! The field! It’s covered with blood!’

Fiver is my favorite character in Watership Down, he's just like me fr. I was afraid this wouldn't read especifically as Fiver, but alas... i liked my initial sketch a lot so i kept it as it was.

#my art #digital art #artists on tumblr #watership down #so just to make this absolutely clear.. this is fiver XD not an attempt of a book cover #even tho it looks so much like many watership down covers tbh #i didnt even realize until i was actually googling images for reference that i found a lot of wd covers have a rabbits profile and the fiel #what a bummer #but i still like this a lot #everyone and their moms thought about the same thing i guess #me included #anyway FIVER MY BOY #I LOVE HIM HES JUST LIKE ME #IDK WHY EXACTLY BUT I RELATE TO HIM SO MUCH #its like 'yeah i also have visions of chaos and death and despair its called having anxiety and depression' #ok no forget that

[casart]

..•Perception Distorted•..

#casart #sanders sides #virgil sanders #anxiety sanders #heeyyyyy wowie some good ol' virge art<3 #kinda getting some feelings out w this one coz my depression and anxiety have not been great #shit really piling on and giving me a lot of distorted thoughts and dissociative episodes haha #anyways time to give my problems to my boy!! ah yes healthy coping uwu

[worthless-misery]

Dear diary...

I wish I could just get rid of this body.

It's just disgusting.

I just want to disappear.

#dear diary #tw #personal #worthless #empty #tired #useless #i want to die #i hate myself #i hate my body #i'm sorry #pain #alone #anxiety #self harm #suicidal #sad #depression #dysphoria #heartbreak #hurt #hopeless #kill me #lost #lonely #body dysmorphia #numb #not good enough #ugly

[wortcunningwitch]

PSA: my blog is NOT for people who believe crystals can cure disease, mental illness, chronic conditions, disabilities, etc. or people who believe crystals can substitute modern medicine and be effective in the slightest. yes, this includes people who say crystals can “help with depression/anxiety/etc”.

#saying crystals can ease certain symptoms of mental illness is a VERY slippery slope to saying crystals can cure said illnesses or more #if by ‘crystals can help depression’ you mean crystals can boost your mood #then stop misusing words like depression and anxiety. say what you really mean #my stuff #witchcraft #crystals #pseudoscience