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nobutfredweasleytho · 3 years

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YOU JUST DON’T LISTEN(F.W)

Summary: Fred’s ex girlfriend writes him a letter to explain the how him using her wrecked her emotionally.

Warnings: angst, like a lot of angst, depressed Y/N, mentions of self doubt, a little swearing, mentions of parents not loving correctly, used reader. Let me know if I missed anything.

A/N: Major thank you to Gabriella @onlyfreds for being an amazing person and encouraging me to write whatever this mess is. I am forever grateful to you

(The font is terrible Im sorry im just getting used to working on tumblr)

Fred Weasley checked the muggle clock on his nightstand. 10:30 AM. His mom will call him for breakfast anytime now. He has been awake for quite some time if he can even count the 30 minutes he tried to sleep but couldn’t, not when every time he tries to close his eyes his mind and eventually dreams are clouded by her. By the last time he looked at her, how devastated she looked, How her face was wet from her tears and her eyes bloodshot red, but the thing Fred will never be able to forget is her voice. How raw and vulnerable she sounded while saying the most horrible thing’s anyone has ever said to him, but he can’t blame her, he has no one to blame but himself because in the end it was he who caused all of this and now its come to bite him in the ass. He hears the door open and his twin brother George enters.

“Mom says breakfast is ready and she wants you downstairs. She says she’ll drag you herself if you don’t show up again today.”

“Tell her I’m not hungry and I’ll come grab a bite later.” I really don’t feel like being surrounded by other people right now. Not in this pathetic state I’m in. Besides it will take me willpower I don’t have to not hex Ron into oblivion.

“Well she will not take no for an answer and I wont either. What’s done is done now and you’ll have to face the world someday so start with your own family because everyone down there is worried sick about you and the least you can do is show your face once in a while so they know you haven’t died of starvation or sleep deprivation.” George has worry written all over him and I’m sure the rest of the family has it too. I feel even more like shit for worrying them.

“Fine. But I come back here if she is mentioned are we clear?”

“We weren’t gonna mention Y/N anyway now lets go moms worried sick for your dumbass.”

Breakfast was going smoothly with Ginny and Ron being exited for Quidditch season, Harry and Bill discussing the unfortunate events of the Triwizard tournament last year, dad asking Hermione about a rubber duck whatever that is, but the most shocking thing is mom asking me and George about the joke shop products. George is doing most of the talking but still the fact that shes even asking is awesome. I was finally feeling peaceful this whole winter break until I heard a hoot outside the window.

“I thought it was Tuesday but since mail is here does it mean its Friday already? Oh how fast time is going.

“No Arthur honey you are right it is Tuesday, Bill or George can one of you see if that owl has the owners name attached to it and bring whatever letter he has here to see who is it for.”

Bill got up from his seat and went to the window next to the countertop to look at the mystery owl. “Do we even know a Y/N Y/L/N?”

The room went quiet. The only thing that could be heard was the owls hoot asking for its treat. Bill seemed not to realise this as he took the letter from the owl, gave him a treat and sent it on its way.

“To Fred Weasley from Y/N Y/L/N… Who’s Y/N is she the girl you’ve been crying over this whole time huh Freddie?” Bill chuckled but I just grabbed the letter. I had no time to even be mad at him because once again my mind fogs up with only her. I couldn’t help but feel relieved and the happiest I felt in a long time. She has forgiven me. Y/N forgave me. That has to be it. Why else would she send me a letter?

“I had a great time with you guys but there’s important matters for me to attend so I have to go to now. Thanks mom the breakfast was amazing as always.” And with that I sprinted towards my room, locked the door and examined the letter in my hands. It was a bunch of them in here. I went to mine and George’s worktable threw some papers that were on top of it to make room for these letters and carefully opened the envelope.

The first thing that I grabbed was a photo. It was a polaroid of me and Y/N on the Gryffindor common room. Happiness filled my heart when I started remembering this night. I looked at the back of the polaroid and surely enough there was a writing on it.

Fred and Yn on the Gryffindor common room at 1 AM the night she turned 17. Listening to ABBA’s “Dancing Queen”. Picture taken by major 3rd wheel George Weasley.

Tears filled my eyes when I remember this night. It was the night I looked at her the way I always should have. Not as a replacement of someone who didn’t care about me.

The next one was also a polaroid photograph but this one I don’t remember being taken. It’s a picture of Y/N teaching me how to play the guitar. I can make up that we are in her dorm but not more as the picture is taken in black and white. I look at the back and surely this one also has a writing on it but the handwriting doesn’t look familiar at all.

A drunken Y/N accompanied by a even drunker Fred trying to play the guitar in the middle of the night. If I fail my charms exam tomorrow I’m killing you both but right now you two look adorable. Picture taken by Cho Chang.

The third one is an actual letter. I chuckle looking at the handwriting. Always so precise and not even one line out of place. I always thought Y/Ns handwriting always contradicts her hot headed persona but it’s actually really cute. I start reading the letter and my heart stops.

Dear Freddie,

I can only imagine the shock that receiving a letter from me would cause you right now especially after our last conversation.

But I have a lot to get off of my chest and I wont be able to move on if I haven’t said it all. Call me a coward but I was really scared to ask you to meet me so I can say it in person, but maybe that’s what I have always been. A coward. A coward because I get scared when someone wants to enter my life, a coward because I hate trying new things at the expense of failing, a coward because I should be able to confront people who brought darkness and sadness to my life.

But one thing I will admit Fred Weasley is that I wasn’t a coward when It came to loving you. It was the first time that I let someone come into my life and heart the way you did, and it will probably be the last. Throughout our “relationship” if you can even call it that as it was more of you customizing me to be her, to be someone I’m not. But that’s why you even talked to me is it, because I reminded you of her.

The signs were right in front of me and I feel stupid enough not to have seen them. But I guess people are right when they say love is blind. Love is such a funny thing to me as the first time I experienced the right kind of love was through you. But that was me creating stuff in my head. You didn’t love me no, you loved the idea of me. But I loved you. I loved you more than anything or anyone I have ever loved, I loved everything about you. But you just don’t listen. You don’t listen to anyone around you. Not George, not your other siblings, not Lee or any of your other friends for that matter, not your professors, but most importantly you don’t listen to me.

You didn’t listen when I told you that the love my parents gave me was only because I reminded them of my brother, the love my old friends back home gave me was one of interest. Everywhere I go no matter who I talk to no one will love me for me. I came to accept that until I met you.

You were funny and crazy and brave and oh so gorgeous. You were basically everything I looked for in… well everything. In a friend or in a partner it doesn’t matter. I thought you saw me for who I am. A broken teenager with issues but that at the end of the day was deserving of love. Oh how wrong I have been but no more wrong than you. You knew this but you just didn’t listen.

That makes us both horrible people now does it. Me who thought you were some kind of savior or some kind of saint and selfishly wrapped myself around your love and you who used me because I remind you of your ex girlfriend who broke your heart. But mine is excused I feel like and yours isn’t.

You would have kept me going for who knows how long just so you can live your imaginations you had for someone else.

Did you think about her the first time we slept together?

Was I not enough for you Freddie?

Was I too clingy too soon?

Is it my hot temper that gets the best of me?

So many questions will be left unanswered on my end because frankly, I never want to speak of you again. Sure I am deprived of love but I will not take it if its not directed directly at me.

I still care about you and will continue to support you and George on whatever you set your mind into. I was waking through Diagon Alley last week and saw this little store with a “for sale” sign. It’s right in the middle of Diagon Alley. I hate how my first thought went that you would have loved it but I seem to do that a lot recently.

I’ll get dressed and think would Fred love this skirt or this shirt.

I start applying lipstick and I’ll think will Fred love this color.

I start eating and I’ll think does this look good enough that Fred would’ve stolen a piece of it when I’m talking to Ginny.

I don’t even know why I am telling you this. How pathetic I’ve become clinging into someone that doesn’t want me.

Anyway I’ve probably bored you enough with my ranting but I wouldn’t have been able to move on unless I said everything that felt heavy on my heart. I also attached some photos I thought you’d like to keep seeing as now you can see yourself with Kayla without having the burden to be near me.

Say hi to your siblings and Harry for me.

Have a nice life,

Y/N

#harry potter #fred x y/n #fred weasley series #fred weasley x reader #fred weasley imagine #fred weasley #fred weasley angst #george weasley #hogwarts #fred and goerge weasley #weasley family #sadnees #i hate this

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liberty-barnes · 3 years

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Just Breathe

Tom Holland x Female!Osterfield!Bisexual!Reader

Summary: Childbirth waits for no one, not even the Oscars.

Warnings: fluuuuuff, pregnant reader, mentions of childbirth, good press articles, BISEXUAL READER WOOOHOOO

Word Count: 1.5k words

Estimated Reading Time: 6 minutes

A/N: heeeeey look @peterspideyy @parkersbliss that crazy idea i ranted to you about like six months ago finally got done! i can’t believe i did it... this feels too good to be true, is the world gonna end or something?

Masterlist

"I don't think this is a good idea."

"Me neither."

"Please, just stay here."

You looked up to your brother and husband, frowning as you smoothed your hand over the soft black fabric of your gown.

"I am not missing the Oscars, Tom. I've still got two weeks until I'm due, it'll be fine."

You sat down on the bed and looked dejectedly at your shoes, then proceeded to throw puppy dog eyes your brother's way until Harrison had no choice but to kneel and help you put on your comfortable trainers. There's no way you're putting on your heels at 37 weeks of pregnancy.

"But what if Baby decides to come sooner? You could go into labour at any moment!"

You rolled your eyes and only raised your arms so they could help you out of bed.

"You guys are being over-dramatic. Nothing's gonna happen. We're just going to the Oscars, we'll have a good time, and hopefully, I'll leave with a little statue under my arm."

With that, you waddled out of your hotel room, ready to get into the limo.

---

"(Y/n)! It's so good to see you! You look radiant as always!"

You smiled at Kaitlyn, an interviewer you knew and trusted and rubbed your belly comfortingly.

"Thank you, I feel like a whale, but Baby'll be here soon so it's worth it."

She smiled and asked you a bunch of questions about your movie and how you were feeling about being nominated for Best Actress.

"But anyway, how far along are you now?"

"I'm a little over 37 weeks, they should be coming soon. Tom and Haz were actually really apprehensive about me coming here since I'm so close to my due date."

She smiled and looked over at the two men, obviously on edge.

"Well, I wish you all the best and I sincerely hope you win."

You hugged her goodbye and posed for a few more pictures before being led inside by your husband.

---

"And now, for the moment you've all been waiting for..."

Everyone watched with bated breath as Brie Larson, last year's winner, got ready to announce who would take home the trophy.

"This year's winner, and taking home the Oscar for best actress in a leading role..."

Tom took your hand and you squeezed it tight, ready to applaud one of the other amazing actresses on their win.

"(Y/n) Holland, for her brilliant performance in Two Sides of the Same Coin!"

You felt like your heart was gonna beat out of your chest, run to that stage, kiss Brie, then promptly burst to flames out of sheer, unadulterated enthusiasm. Tom was hugging you and whispering how much you deserved it while your brother gently guided you to the podium. None of them would ever allow you to go up there on your own. Always one in front of you in case you trip forward and one behind you to catch you if you fall back.

Overprotective much?

As soon as you reached Brie, you hugged her tight (or as tight as you could with a human baby house separating you), taking the award while the two boys hugged her too.

"Holy Louis Tomlinson in a crop top."

The audience laughed, most of them already familiar with your strange One Direction inspired expressions.

"Wow, I didn't actually think I was gonna win this, everyone had such amazing performances. I-It's an honour, really. Two Sides of the Same Coin was a project very near and dear to my heart, so I'd like to thank the amazing Drew Barrymore, who wrote and directed the movie."

The room erupted in cheers and the woman smiled at you from her place on the front row.

"Bisexual representation is something we don't get very often, and when we do, it's always misjudged. So thank you for showing the world what bisexuality really is, and for giving me a chance to live out my dreams of kissing lots of people. This idiot tied me down too soon."

You pointed behind you at Tom, hearing his appalled squeak along with Harrison's guffaw of a laugh.

In other news, the baby was starting to inconvenience you slightly. Baby had been going crazy since last night (not that you'd tell the boys) and the Braxton-Hicks were killing you, but it only got worse now.

"I'd also like to thank my amazing costars, Zendaya, Bella Thorne, and Owen Patrick Joyner, it was awesome to make out with you all..."

The crowd laughed while you felt something trickle down your legs.

Oh.

OH.

You'll never live this down, that's for sure.

"Uh, before I finish can one of you idiots call the car and get them to come to the exit please and thank you? Now as I was saying-"

"Wait, why?"

You turned to your brother and smiled innocently.

"Oh, my water just broke."

The crowd cheered.

Tom screamed.

Harrison fell to the floor, unconscious.

You sighed.

"New plan, can anyone try to wake my brother while my hus-"

You looked at Tom, frantically doing small back and forths between you and his best friend, unsure of what to do.

"-While someone else calls the car because both of them are apparently useless."

"We need to get you to the hospital!"

His terrified scream could be heard all through the room, even with no mic.

"What? No! I need to finish my acceptance speech, then go back to the hotel to shower and maybe take a little nap and then go to the hospital. My water just broke, Thomas, we have time, calm your tits."

You turned back fully to the mic, facing the hysteric faces of the crowd, very entertained by the exchange.

"Now as I was saying, I want to thank the amazing team that worked on this movie, you're all amazing and it was such a good experience. I'd also like to thank my family for always being there for me and supporting me and Haz in our acting careers. Thank you to my brother, even if he's unconscious right now, he'll just watch it on Youtube later, for literally forcing me to go to the audition. And lastly, I'd like to thank my wonderful husband, who hopefully hasn't passed out yet, for always supporting me and being my biggest rock through everything. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to deliver a baby, you know, just normal Saturday night stuff."

---

An Oscar in hand and another... down her legs?

(Y/n) Holland sure gave the Oscars something to be entertained by on this last Saturday. The wife of fellow actor Tom Holland looked radiant in her custom-made Valentino dress, looking ready for a night of fun.

(Y/n) was nominated for this year's Best Actress in a Leading Role award, alongside Meryl Streep, Margot Robbie, Cate Blanchett, and Tessa Thompson, but the Oscar went to her from her brilliant performance in Two Sides of the Same Coin. But it was during her acceptance speech that things got... slippery.

At 37 weeks of pregnancy, the Holland baby was ready to come at any minute, but apparently, theatrics run in the family. The actress was in the middle of her speech when she felt her water break, pausing in her talking to request a car be called.

You'd think her husband, Tom, and brother Harrison Osterfield, overprotective as they are, would be fully prepared! Unfortunately for them, and fortunately for our entertainment, they were not. Harrison went unconscious after hearing the news, dropping to the floor and earning himself a minor concussion, much to his sister's amusement

[image1-harrison-ice-pack.png]

@ynholland: "Don't worry, when you go into labour, I'll be with you every step of the way." Said Harrison Osterfield, then proceeded to pass out, get a minor concussion, and miss the whole delivery.😂 Good job, little bro👍

And just when you thought she couldn't get any better, she finishes her acceptance speech with: "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to deliver a baby, you know, just normal Saturday night stuff." We have no choice but to stan this iconic queen!

But for the news you've all been waiting for, Oscar Robert Holland (yes, the middle name is a homage to Robert Downey Jr. himself, we're not crying, you are!) was born just twelve hours later. Tom let know through a beautiful Instagram picture that he is in fact "perfectly healthy and loved by everyone already".

[image2-tom-and-oscar.png]

@tomholland2013: I present to you, my best creation to this date: Oscar Robert Holland. Thank you all for your prayers and kind messages, our boy is perfectly healthy and loved by everyone already❤️

But of course, Uncle Haz wouldn't stay behind.

[image3-haz-and-oscar.png]

@hazosterfield: Since I know you've all been worried sick and desperate to know how the baby is... I'm doing just fine, it's just a minor concussion :) Oh and my godson's great too.

And just to prove that the Osterfields are indeed the royal family of comedy, we leave with this wonderful picture posted to the happy mum's very own Instagram.

[image4-yn-and-oscars.png]

@ynholland: Guess I was so good they gave two Oscars instead of one ;)

-Written by Kaitlyn Storm

so anyway, Two Sides of the Same Coin is a movie idea i got a while ago and should maybe try to write one of these days but oh well or something. anyway, i’m not gonna rant about it here cause it’d be too long but i hope you enjoyed this and don’t forget to like/comment/reblog if you feel like it!

-Love, Miah

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Taglists: (if your name is striked through it means for some reason tumblr wouldn’t let me tag you)

PERMA TAG

@adriannajackson123 @theamazingtomholland @inlovewithmobtom @andycanbeemotional @officiallyunofficialperson @lost-in-the-stars03 @jeezkiddo @a-singleboat @wunder-13 @highlydisfunctional1 @ellyseveronica @inthecornerchair @harishaanne @anjalika03 @lozzypoz321 @mendes-marvel @sovereignparker @bubbles-the-powerpuffgurl

MARVEL ACTORS

@sarcasticallywitty15 @agentnataliahofferson @onelovesr @agentnataliahofferson @parkerpetertingle @juliebean247 @frustratingpaperclip @tacobacoyeet

HOLLAND & CO.

@sarcasticallywitty15 @agentnataliahofferson @onelovesr @agentnataliahofferson @zeusmyster @parkerpetertingle @juliebean247 @joyleenl @quaksonhehe @clara-licht @frustratingpaperclip @tutuabby28 @tacobacoyeet

LGBTQ+

@quaksonhehe

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neva-borne · 3 years

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I said I was stepping away for a few days but apparently I'm really bad at that. And maybe I'm just ranting into the void here, but I feel like I need to put my thoughts somewhere other than my head.

I have been struggling with my place in the fandom and as a writer for some time. At least a year, if not longer. Finally, there came a straw that broke the camel's back.

So here it is.

I know I'm a good writer. I have technical skill and over the past two years my story telling ability has improved so far beyond what I thought I was capable of. But knowing this comes at the cost of reading things - fanfics lauded by the fandom for being amazing, must-read masterpieces - and thinking "I've written things better than that" and looking at those fics and seeing that they barely got any attention.

Is it personal bias? I don't know. Maybe. But I have a lot of experience with writing and I do like to think I have a pretty level head when it comes to evaluating my work, but even if I am a little biased, it doesn't change the way I feel.

It doesn't change the fact that pouring my heart and soul into works I am so proud of is exhausting, and when I post them and get no attention, it kills me.

Yeah, writing for yourself is great.

There's also nothing wrong with wanting recognition for your achievements.

I have always been a recognition driven person. Always. I am competitive and driven and crave that "you did a great job" or "wow that's awesome" but also more tangible recognition. Recognition amongst others instead of only in private that is, somehow, so elusive. This attitude caused me to work myself into a near-suicidal state when I was 17 because I was so determined to be recognized and never was. It's what hurt the most about being on the dance team because I joined the studio later than the other girls and no matter what, I was always the outsider, never truly fitting in and never truly getting recognized for the hard work I put in.

My point being that I am tired of not being recognized. I am tired of putting in so much effort into things that get read by a handful of people and then tossed aside and forgotten. And don't get me wrong, I am so, so appreciative of the few consistent readers I have.

I'm just tired.

I'm tired of seeing rec lists without my name on them. I'm tired of posting my fics on Tumblr and getting <10 notes. I'm tired of spending hours and hours working on things that no one cares about.

I don't know if I'm going to keep writing fanfic at this point. I don't know if maybe I just need a break, or if I will quit entirely, or what will happen.

I just know that right now I don't feel appreciated, and I refuse to work myself into a depression. I am no longer 17 and unable to say no.

I am saying no. I am looking for a place where my efforts are appreciated. And if that means I don't come back... then I'm very sorry to those who have supported me. Those who comment on my fics and beg for more, those who reblog my posts here on Tumblr - you have been the light in the darkness and I appreciate you so, so much. You were the ones who kept me going for so long. I hope I can come back to give you the conclusions you deserve to the fics you have been following.

But right now I just really need to step back and reevaluate why I do this. I need to figure out if my time and effort is worth what I get out.

This camel is broken.

#personal #neva borne #fanfic #long post #personal post #writing #update

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digitalta · 2 years

Note

Ok, um wow. <—yes, that is the first thing that came to mind when I wondered how to start this review and I am going to leave it in. I’ve never actually used tumblr before so I’m not quite sure how this works, but whatever, I’m getting off topic now. (Does it matter that this isn’t even a question?) I just wanted to write what I thought about Antithesis on here, because I’m not sure if you would see it if I commented on a03, and I just want to let you know how much this story meant to me. Like literally—and this is not a joke—I think about this story every day. I’ve basically been keeping track at this point by how much it happens. You managed to fabricate something so beautiful and magnificent (and those words are not even big enough to properly describe it) and put it all into one amazing story that I can’t even think about without crying. It’s actually like a problem at this point by how much this story affected me—and I’m so grateful. You emotionally traumatized me and broke my heart in so many ways, and I could not have asked for anything better. I so wish I could read this story for the first time again, just to know what it felt like (and yet not, because it hurt like hell) but I can’t even bring myself to try and reread it, so I’m kind of at a standstill here. I read Antithesis about two and a half months ago, and it has taken me this long to finally scrounge up the courage and write to who is now my favourite author. I have never read anything like it before, and I doubt I ever will again. The pain I felt, the heartbreak, the laughter, even the bone shattering ending that was the last few chapters—not to mention that any mention of Luna had me sobbing like a baby. It was just so wonderfully crafted, I wish I could completely express how I feel about it, but words can’t do it justice. Anyways, sorry for the long rant, and I hope you know just how much this story meant to me. Sincerely, someone who still hasn’t recovered since Christmas after reading Antithesis.

Hello, little one.

I’ve been thinking over your message for days now. It is hard to write gratitude in a way that mirrors the heart you gave me- so why bother with words at all?

Do you have a discord? PM me- we will arrange something.

Let’s talk

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sadwentz · 4 years

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choose your twin: atsumu miya

pairing: atsumu miya x reader

warnings: relationship issues and nsfw implied.

a/n: finally, the collab is out!!! thank you carrie for doing this with me I HAD THE TIME OF MY LIFE WRITING THIS GOD,,, bruh, this is my masterpiece, i love it sm KJAKSJJASKJ i hope y’all enjoy this!!!! i want to thank my wife who doesnt have tumblr for helping me w this,,, shes the loml and the BEST beta reader i could ask for... tHANK YOU BABY

word count: 2.1k

cyt taglist: @memetabolismm @cuddly-bakugo @wansseul @kuroosbrat @sneezefiction @yusemis @kimimarowo @kairostatue

taglist: @fryingpanitachi @yams046 @presmiic @sushij1ma @kingtamakimurder @dumbassbrigade @badboysdoitbetter2 @cucktobirama @usobad @newfriendjen @hookedinto-fictionalworlds @sanguinekeigo @0ikawawa @smexygremenem @add1ctedtoan1m3 @wxxnks @idiot-juice-enthusiast @faitans @sanemisthiccbih @starlitorchids @rureczka @ska9r

WANT ANOTHER DATE? CLICK HERE

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀YOUR CURRENT PICK: ATSUMU MIYA

“i know you’re tired of dating apps for college students!” you growled at the comment, exhausted.

“and this isn't the typical matching you do to me when i am lonely?” you questioned, bokuto raised his eyebrows.

“shut up, y/n, you know what i mean.” rolling your eyes, you covered yourself with the biggest blanket in the bed.

“since i broke up with my ex, you and akaashi have tried to set me up too many times, i don't know what to believe anymore.” you groaned.

“y/n you know you are such a good girl, that’s why this guy it's the one.” he said confidently.

“you’re not allowed to call me good girl, you’re gross,” he gasped and you scoffed, “and how do you know that he is the one? are you… god?”

he groaned loudly, “god, shut the fuck up, i’m right you’re wrong.”

“you always say that, and you are always mistaken.” you pouted at him and closed your eyes, drifting to sleep ignoring the rest of bokuto’s words.

…

osamu groaned, “yer’ such a pain in the ass, ‘tsumu.”

atsumu chuckled, looking at his body up and down on the large mirror he had on the back of the door of his room. the shirt he was wearing was kind of tight, showing clearly how his every day work-out performed wonders on his upper body. his gaze lowered to his pants, he wasn't sure if wearing those dirty ass sweatpants was the optimal choice, he didn't know if his date was as judgemental as he was, so changing pants was probably the best choice. on his way to his closet, he saw how osamu was scrolling quickly on his phone, paying zero attention to him.

“you’re not helping me today, whatcha’ doing there?” osamu looked at him with disgust, atsumu raised his eyebrows. “why are you looking at me like that?”

“you better not fuck this date up, ‘tsumu.”

“do you happen to know something i don't?”

“yeah, like always.” both glared at each other throwing silent knives.

atsumu finally dressed himself nicely, and osamu didn’t add any other snarky comment for the rest of the morning, letting atsumu breathe peacefully for a few hours. The time for the date was approaching very fast, the weight of his brother's words was making him more nervous every minute that passed by. osamu was supposed to drive him to the place he would meet up with the unknown girl, but he bailed at the last second making him walk there, while claiming that he was the better twin because he had a driver’s license.

his heart was pounding untypically, he was always amazed by how his good looks worked on the female population, but being lowkey threatened by his own brother about going on a date with a woman wasn’t something that always happened. osamu usually didn't care at all about his whole career he had created on his years of being a college student; dominating the feelings of women, wrapping them around his finger only to let them down at the end of the so-called ‘fling’, so his thoughts went to osamu and how he actually called him out about everything else.

people always thought the worst about him when he started a new fling, and usually people were right about it. atsumu had a bad history with women, they always expected more than he could give to them, so he acted like the asshole he was deep down and scared them away. so him agreeing to go on this blind date because his brother’s friend akaashi was involved, probably wasn't a good idea at all knowing akaashi and his friends.

while walking alone on the sidewalk, he was already feeling this date wasn't meant to be, as if he believed in something so foolish as destiny. the place he was set up for his blind date was a small coffee shop not so close to his shared apartment with osamu, but he could manage a thirty-minute walk by himself.

he sent a text to the number akaashi gave him, they weren't really that close, but osamu seemed to trust the guy a lot and at first sight, akaashi keiji looked like a good person overall, so atsumu could try and be nice for once, right?

a minute later, his phone vibrated.

strangerdanger: i’m already here!

atsumu groaned, he was already late.

…

you saw that the coffee shop had booths available as you entered the place, you thought about ordering your drink first, but that was kind of rude, so you decided to sit immediately on the booth that had the biggest window by it, just to have a clear sight of who entered and who was just passing by.

you arrived ten minutes early, wanting to be there first before your date made an appearance. he shooted you a text five minutes before the hour that was set, saying he was arriving soon and asking where you were.

y/n: i’m already here!

mr. loml: nice, i’m one block away.

y/n: okay! i’m sitting in the booth next to the big window.

you shivered, mixed feelings of being excited and already hating how he arrived just in time. you didn't know what you could expect from this blind date set up by the one and only bokuto koutarou, he said nothing about your date but mentioned how keiji was friends with a guy who had a twin, so you anticipated that maybe the twin mentioned was going to show up to the blind date. you shrugged, well, this was the last time you followed bokuto and akaashi’s words without asking anything else, that blind trust you had in them sometimes did you more wrong than right.

your eyes scanned the sidewalk in front of the coffee shop, waiting and feeling slightly anxious for someone to cross the street and suddenly appear in front of you. fidgeting with your fingers, you decided to concentrate on other things to soothe your nerves, thinking about how the coffee from the shop was excellent and akaashi told you only good things about it.

“hola?”

“excuse me?” you turned your head slowly to the voice by your side.

“are you my date?”

your jaw dropped, this man was hot, like, really hot.

“yes? i don't know, i guess?” atsumu raised an eyebrow, “which twin are you?”

he scoffed, “the better one.”

“uhm, okay.” this was an awkward start, “let’s order our drinks?”

he told you his coffee order and sat in front of you at the other side of the booth as you stood up and walked to the cashier.

atsumu watched you walk away from the table, staring at your ass for a few seconds. observing how you interacted with the barista taking the orders, how you smiled and made cute gestures with your hands when you talked, which by the way, looked very soft.

after you came back with the drinks and handed him his order you felt a little relieved, maybe now you could actually have a normal conversation and forget about that strange first interaction, first impressions weren’t that important… right?

you discovered that this guy was called ‘atsumu’ and he didn’t talk very fondly about his twin, ‘osamu’. he had dirty blond hair and an undercut that suited him very well, besides, you couldn’t help but look at his shirt, this dude crearly knew how to show off his body, it was a little tight so you could actually see his abs.

he caught you staring at his body and smirked. “do you like what you’re seeing?” your gaze snapped from his lower stomach to his face, you could feel your cheeks getting red and hot. “i’m joking, i know you like it.”

this was another thing that you learned while talking to him, he was a little bit of an asshole. he loved talking about himself and teasing other people.

“yeah sure, you wish.” what he didn’t know was that you could also be like that when you wanted to.

“wow” atsumu was surprised that he was actually having fun on a blind date.

“what?”

“women are not funny.” you stared at him, shocked, and then proceeded to stab his hand with your plastic fork.

“it was a joke!” he rubbed his injured hand.

you chuckled, atsumu could be annoying at times, but you found that kind of charming in a way.

atsumu talked and talked about his time spent in highschool playing volleyball and how his twin brother was the most annoying person on the planet but he loved him anyway. you found yourself staring at him with heart eyes while he ranted on bizarre moments of his life and described the fight he had with his brother about hair colors so other people could distinguish them from each other. you tried to imagine atsumu with grey hair to get a picture of osamu in your head, feeling kind of dumb.

“osamu seems nice, can i meet him?” atsumu’s face suddenly changed and he looked annoyed.

“why?”

“he sounds like the better looking twin.” he gasped and put a hand on his chest dramatically, feeling slightly offended.

“he was the one who set me up with you, so i don’t think you have a chance with him.” he crossed his arms, looking away.

“i just wanted to meet him, not date him.” you snickered, seeing how his face turned pink but his face changed immediately to a cocky smirk.

“oh, so, you want to date me?”

“dude, we are on date right now.”

“nah, sorry, i don’t do dating” that took you for surprise, you blinked dumbfoundedly.

“then why are you here?”

atsumu went on a rant about his love life, how people always expected a lot from him when he dated, wanting him to commit immediately to a relationship when he just wanted to have fun. so, that lowkey sparked a fear of commitment when it came to dating, that's why every time he met a girl he tried to be as clear as possible, stating that he didn’t want to have a full-on relationship with her, it was just a one night stand after all. but the girls, god, the girls seemed to have a fixation on him, every morning after a hook-up the girl would always ask him for a date or more than that, so he ended up being known as a heartbreaker and an asshole to the female population. the whole time you were looking at his huge arms and didn't understand a thing… oops.

“...that's rough, buddy.” you couldn’t think about anything else to say, you didn’t sign up to give therapy to a stranger.

“were you even listening to me?”

“i tried at the beginning, but it was lowkey deep so…” he stared at you, dumbfoundedly, “what i did catch was some stuff about fear of commitment, so listen, i won’t pressure you to anything, i just want to have fun too.” you shrugged.

atsumu was speechless, but he tried to recover immediately and catch you off guard. “well then, your place or my place?”

“mine.” you didn’t even skip a beat, this was a game for two.

he was the one caught off guard.

...

he got pegged.

atsumu couldn’t believe it either, he just found himself on all fours on your bed, watching expectantly how you, well, did your thing behind him. he did everything in his power to not show how much he was enjoying the whole experience, but you knew by the way he was shuddering.

“you can shower if you want.” you said lazily from the bed. “there’s a clean towel behind the door.”

he nodded and silently walked to the bathroom, with mixed feelings flowing through his chest. he thought your shampoo smelled really nice as he cleaned himself in the shower.

he stepped out of the shower and dressed himself, when he came out of the bathroom you were already with your clothes on preparing yourself a sandwich on the kitchen counter.

without looking at him you said, “well, it was nice meeting you, please say thanks to osamu for setting us up.” he stood there and blinked, not sure about what to do next.

he tried to compose himself, only thinking of how he was getting kicked out, “i can’t do that, it would get to his head and he would never shut up about how great he is.” you chuckled.

“yeah sure, you know where the door is.” you patted his shoulder on your way back to the bedroom, disappearing after closing the door.

he stood there for a few seconds, then left.

…

blond twin: so, when are you free again?

y/n: huh?

blond twin: y’know, for a second date?

y/n: HUH? i thought you didn’t do dating

y/n: maybe you want to get pegged again?

blond twin: shut up

blond twin: so? time and place?

#atsumu #atsumu miya #haikyuu atsumu miya #haikyuu #hq #haikyuu!!#atsumu x reader #atsumu miya x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x female reader #my fics #collab

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selfcareparker · 3 years

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(lovely anon) i'm so happy to finally be answering this oh my goodness hi gorgeous human being i feel that it has been too long 🥲 SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED SINCE THE LAST TIME I'VE WRITTEN ONE OF THESE HOW HAVE YOU BEEN

to answer the things you have said most recently- i'm so mad that spring break is over bc now i have to go back to life??? like dancing and school and shit that feels so unnessacry 😭 and like i can't just do nothing anymore? i was so used to it and now...... ugh. i STILL haven't played sims (i think it's because ✨depression✨ be hitting sometimes) lol but MWAHAH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOUR NEIGHBOR!AU AND THAT THEY HAD LITTLE BABY LEO!! i feel the name thing.. i just come up with something that sounds nice? i think leo is a nice name, it makes me think about lea michele and the fact that her son's name is Ever Leo but anyway. i don't name my sims after what i want to name my children irl either... idk why though. (i don't know why i'm telling you this but for boy names i love Liam🥰 and if i had twin boys i think i would do Liam and Peter though i am not married to the name Peter.... anywho)

LMAOOO the therpaist coming made me laugh thank you :)) i hope it's helpful? this may be tmi but i've only really had negative thoughts recently and not many healthy outlets so i'm hoping crossing one thing off this sad list will make me feel better :') i think during spring break my anxiety and my depression really spiked? idk, it comes in episodes but yeah THIS GOT REALLY SAD

i think a lot of things when i read your posts but i never say them hahaha so imma say it now: i googled what bon appetit meant ( i also just had to google how to spell it ) but ur right, i feel like bone apple tea makes more sense than bone apple teeth.. the "th" is throwing me off bc how i say it bone appa (like app-a) teet (like you're saying tit but teet lol) so bone apple tea makes more sense to me lol

i never know really know the time difference for anything lmao but est to germany (that's not gmt is it?) is like 6 hours wOAH so it's like 9pm while it’s 3pm here? wowee

i feel mega weird after watching this show called hollywood (darren criss is in it, so is laura harrier and a bunch of other people) but i don't like it💀 i feel really icky rn and idk why but reading your last response to my ask (?) always makes me feel better :')

i am doing what you said btw, i'm typing this on my computer first then gonna transfer it to my phone's tumblr lol but when you said a digital detox, it's interesting cuz i feel like i've been having one since tom's new project was announced? gOD i don't wanna get into it bc i get so triggered but i've been off of instagram since then bc instagram stans literally stand by tom through whatever even when something ain't right- i’m just gonna leave it there bc i’ll continue the rant, but yeah so i took a break lol

also heard abt your driving lesson thing (?) was it that bad? i can't find the old post but someone asked if you hooked up with your lesson person and i was sOOO CONFUSED LMAOO LIKE OK ARIA GET SOME BUT UHH HUH?

now to address the actual response HAHA the way you touch my heart :') by :') bringing :') up :') halle :') being ariel :') (i honest to God don't remember if i brought this up first, forgive me if i did, it's been a minute lmao) i'm always talking about it and i'm pretty sure my family is so tired of me talking about it lmao, but YEAH when i found out they weren't twins i was so surprised but idk why i always thought they were twins? but YOU ARE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE WITH THE DISNEY TALK- everyone is always like "tiana is my favorite princess" and yea she's strong and stuff but...... she was a frog. for almost the whole time. it's about time we got another one!! i do agree with some people on the fact that disney should just make another black princess but halle is adorable and i was ariel on stage so it's already really special to me :')

yeah lol there are good times with my brothers but they make me mad for a good portion of the time (there's the 12yo vincent and the 7yo daniel but vincent??? psshhh he is a piece of work and i'm not sure how much longer i can put up with him HAJAH AND YES VINCENT IS THE ONE WHO WAS 👁👄👁WHEN I CRIED AND THE ONE WHO DOESN'T LISTEN TO MUSIC- writing this now makes it sound like vincent is awful. which he isn't... we're working on him ig. not to add to the awfulness but no, he listens to obnoxious loud VIDEO GAME MUSIC and won't stop when we ask him to stop... he gets beat up a lot) anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌

yeah let me know if you end up watching it (wandavision)! i think it's great but if you like it lmk!! tfatws is sooo good like PHEW i am honestly loving it. sidenote: j*hn w*lker makes me wanna jump through the screen and choke him to the ground. i was thinking right, and the falcon and the winter soldier (THATS SO MUCH EASIER FAJHKDAH) would techinally be like a 10 hour movie right? because every episode is an hour long and there'll be 10 episodes? like wow. i get what you mean though, abt the racism in the show etc, like looking forward to it but not like..... no i get what you mean i will not try and give another example lol but you make me wanna learn more languages like really badly (bc of what you said about the german to american translation) & if you end up watching hamilton PLEASE LMK ABT THAT TOO HAHAHA i love it so much, same thing with lion king lmaoo

speaking of germany, i was at lunch on saturday with my mom and her friend and we were talking about my schooling and like-- she planted this idea in my head lol like what if i just got my GED and went around the world (to england probably) to get a theatre experience??? and i think it sounds so cool but no where near practical lol, it's just..... the dream haha and i would then try and learn a language 😉

uh yes we absolutely should order basically a resturant meal at a cinema, how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?

also about cherry (which i still haven't watched yet lol) i got the timestamps from tumblr😌 i couldn't find them anywhere else, but i agree, i probably wouldn't even look twice at cherry if tom wasn't in it? like i liked tdatt a lot, but it's not a movie i would be itching to see ya know?

HAHAHAHA THE 24 HOUR NOTIFICATION- i think i have around 1030 hours on sims? but i've had it since 2019 lmao (reading the screenshots, yes u are 100% a genuis, i take screenshots too but on anon you can't upload them so i just read them and retype what i wrote lmao) i think the university experience in the game is fun, but time consuming and it's all work imo. idk why i do it so often tho 😭😭😭

and agreed!! when you're making good money in the game you have to find other ways to make it interesting. my cousins who play it just continously do "motherlode" and i'm like.... then what do you do in your game?? it just sounds boring to me... my current sims household, i had a famous comedian sim, her name was dylan, aND SORRY IM LAUGHING SO HARD WHILE WRITING THIS BC ITS A GREAT EXAMPLE OF THE UNI THING UNLESS IM JUST DUMB, she went to college for communications when i wanted her to be a comedian and when she graduated i realized that degree did nothing for the career 🥲 so yeah, i think i'm just dumb. but she had a kid in college, guy didn't stick around and she was pretty broke HA but then she got married to this (great) guy named steve, made good bank, had 5 more kids (two sets of twins and one more lol) but then she passed. uhm... yeah that's still an open wound . lol i'm kidding, but when you get rich like that, you have to find a way to make the game interesting and i chose a million kids.

(this was one giant paragraph until i broke it up uhh yeah) i seriously don't pay attention to the sims prices and just end up spending way too much money and not being able to finish the rest of the house😭 but then again, i'm so used to having sims live in apartments... if i end up building a house FIRST OF ALL it'll look like what you explained before lmao but i'll tell you if i actually end up building a house HAHA & planning out your sims game is so fun to me lol, did enisa and michael take in his daughter yet? i may be thinking too far ahead lol and i love that they fucked woohooed (i say woo woo lol) in celebration HAHA but when i was playing with this one couple i had them woo woo every night hoping the dude would have horrible pull out game and they would concieve, but one night they were too tired and i was like why? get back in there man. if i was in college and lived with my partner we would be fucking every night homie. be grateful. i have been talking a lot about sims, and like you said: enough 💀 i just love this game a lot 😭😭

SORRY LAST THING i think the sims romantic and sexual stuff is so nice bc its what i want?? LMAO IDK like the whole hot tub thing you're talking about- puh lease ITS JUST NICE TO SEE OKAY

i'm reading the german section over again and i said aloud "my german friend is so cool" lol (i was saying that to my brothers & i know they don't care LMAO) (& i'm glad the uni zoom call went well!!) so on a form, in german, it could possibily say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer because you would be a participant to an introductory event? i swear german sounds so cool 😌 but i love reading your german lessons!! it's really interesting, most of the time my brain can't comprehend it tho?? like that word makes sense to you, but i need a translation. like to be able to look at that and know what it says.... its just appealing and seems so cool lol i kinda wanna write something out in german but i feel that google translate will fail me. während googeln "google übersetzen" mein Computer war so verdammt langsam und es fühlte sich einfach wie etwas Gutes auf Deutsch zu sagen. ich bin nicht sicher, welches Wort ist "fucking", aber ich mag es lmao (did it fail me like i thought it would??)

LMAOOO THANK YOU FOR BRINGING UP JUSTIN BC WHILE AT THE RESTURANT THEY PLAYED A JUSTIN SONG AND I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF YOU AND THIS STORY😭 lol i was thinking it's depending on your age but not even that either... i really don't know.... but tom's fans are hollanders💀 i would consider myself one? he's the only person i'm really into like that (like a lot lol) so idk lmao (directioners 💔💔the pain is real)

LMAOOO (both of these paragraphs started off with “lmaooo” smh) "i like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death" PLEASE, i don't like pete's blonde hair... i just don't. i'm not sure if i wasn't watching the most recent snls but yea. my mom thinks he looks like trash, but i think he's okay? like he said staten island people just look like trash LMAO and I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN KING OF STATEN ISLAND GIRL I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT!! now i'm gonna make plans to watch it lmao, & yes agreed i find pete hot, don't ask why i really couldn't explain it to someone he's just .

my favorite songs from rex are from pony oh my goodness 🥺 anywho i'm gonna go eat cereal (i ended up eating bun and cheese instead) and listen to the Stormzy songs you recommended... aria. aria aria aria. i would like to thank you for introducing me to stormzy i- i don't have any words or any emojis to express HOW GOOD STORMZY IS. i hope he's popular in germany/the uk because i haven't heard of him but GURLLLL

one second - delicious i love it. it's really good. it’s not my favorite from the album, but its great.

superheroes - at first i played the non-explicit one (on accident) and wondered why the words weren't playing but i was reading them in the lyrics??? THIS ONE THOUGH??? IS THE BEST SONG I THINK I'VE EVER HEARD. i am so SO SO into black people empowering songs (like brown skin girl by beyonce) and this song???? PHEW I CRYYYYY ITS SO GOOD.... i was gonna quote some lyrics BUT THERS TOO MANY I LOVE, "i am young, black, beautiful, and brave" "black queen, you're immaculate, it's coming at the world, they ain't ready for your magic yet, and that was never your fault" THAT WAS NEVER YOUR FAULT- I ALMOST CRIED THIS SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL (i played it twice lol)

lessons is another beautiful one, like its slow and it feels intimate and nurturing and just OO chefs kiss, beautiful . like you can feel the apology and the regret... it’s so good

own it - OWN IT OWN IT OWN IT IS AMAZING!! swear you would catch me dancing to this song, this song is so fucking good i cannot comprehend like this one might be my favorite for real... "it's the way you wind up your waist, i'm so in awe, you never have to worry abt nothing, you know its yours, you know you own it" 🥲 i played it two or three times honestly

rachael's little brother - YES I DID LISTEN TO IT LMAO AND YES I LIKE IT, its a very complex song and it's very layered in terms of emotions i think and i really like that about it. i probably won't listen to it that often, but its really good. i would recommend this song to my "older brother" bc he would just absolutely love this

shut up - i was taking this song seriously (also very good) until i heard him say shu-T up LMAO, this one is good, i probably wouldn't listen to it 24/7 like rachael's little brother but honestly its still fire

before listening to blinded by your grace and vossi bop, i know you brought up the religion bit, i definitely don't mind that, especially because i'm Christian lol and i actually liked that he brought up God in some of his songs like idk i just like it🥰🥰

(i then went to bed after that lol but first thing in the morning i listened to superheroes and... that song is probably my favorite tbh, i was gonna write MORE quotes that i loved from it but, yeah no there's too many. if you want i'll tell you lmao but this is already so long i would just be quoting the whole friggin song)

VOSSI BOP IS A BOP (lol) I CANT EVEN LIE, i love a song that hypes up a dude's girl so the line- i love that my phone decided to fail to load the lyrics, lemme google it, okay the lyric "looking at my girl like what a goddess" i was like AYEEE its honestly just really good. and no one in america says "sauce" like "i've got the sauce" but now i do (thanks to love island and Nas from last season) and now stormzy so (also im gonna watch the music video for superheroes bc it looks great so 😛)

(because this is already so long i feel like i shouldn't finish the rest but . no i'm gonna do it)

now for blinded by your grace pt2 idk why i’m nervous lmaoo PAUSE I'M NOT EVEN DONE WITH THE SONG GIRL THIS SONG IS *chefs kiss* no words, speechless PHEW y'all gon make me start jumping around. why did i not know about stormzy before, he is amazing i- ok yeah i finished the song, all i have to say is that Stormzy is immaclucate. period. i am literally sending his music to all my friends he is..... amazing

you want my song recommendations 🥺🥺 hmm uh okay lol i listen to a lot of old music, whitney houston, marvin gaye, queen, celine dion, i love "more than words" by extreme uhmm okay, but for actual music i listen to on the daily? (this is a lot of different music like.... they do not go together lmao so be prepared) a song about being sad by rex orange county, betty by taylor swift and lover by taylor swift and... most of that album lol, treasure by bruno mars lmao, OOOO and versace on the floor by bruno as well, lazybaby by dove cameron, creep by tlc has been on repeat lol, deja vu by olivia rodrigo (i saw what you said about drivers license and AGREED LMAO but i like deja vu a lot more haha) and two albums that i listen to in general, rare by selena gomez and ungodly hour by chloe x halle 🥰 you don't have to listen to all of them or any of them lol but that's a sense of what i'm into :) so basically everything haha, i'm into literally every single kind of music really so i wasn't too surprised that i enjoyed stormzy :’)

HAHASBSJHAHA your h20 story cracked me up,, like "wow these actors are so dedicated, learning german just for us" 😭 the beauty of overdubbing

once again, math and maths, in my mind maths makes sense because its mathmatics, but saying maths doesn't feel right to me lol, like if i said maths i feel like everyone would look at me like ??? and yea i was taught it as math so its just more natural for me. but yes math/maths is disgusting, easily one of my least favorite subjects so .

mkay. i- the first time i read this i could not contain my laughter when you said the only pollen you know is sex pollen LMAOKOOSHBABJFAJF STOPPP I'M EVEN LAUGHING WRITING THIS,, anyway. wow! that's interesting, my dad (<<< mostly anything else) gets migraines from the sun and the heat and stuff, yesterday (sunday, i was outside for like hours watching my brothers play football, the american kind lol) i was in the sun for like ever and i got a headache😔

summer clothes🥲 i need to go shopping fr fr. for my birthday my mom and dad got me a giftcard like dedicated to a shopping spree and we've yet to go so..... i should bring it up to my mom lol, but!! i went bra shopping (ended up returning literally all of them cuz they honestly didn't work for day to day work? its a long story) and if i could i would walk around in this new "summer bra" i got, i would. it's so fricking cute and its really light fabric (which isn't perfect for my nipples but still) so i don't get hot in it, but that bra and some shorts would be perfect. its the closest thing to being naked so

IS THE BIRD STILL BOTHERING U ARIA, TELL ME NOW ISTG, i laughed really hard that the bird isn't stupid and is really trying to torture you LMAOO like i was rolling, it wants you to suffer, badly

when you said "mensus" it was still close to mens!!! latin speaking queen 😌😌

okay STORYTIME i was reading back your response and started (fake) crying bc i love you lol and my youngest brother (daniel) gon say "oh man, catherine's crying about something we don't care about, again" I--- i swear when i tell you about them they sound awful, but they aren't that bad, just the stuff i say about them is sounds really mean LMAO

but the thing you said about being kind, same, what i always say is: don't be the person that makes people say "i hate people" ya know? like there's no reason to be a jerk or anything.... but its true 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you are really kind and every time i talk to you i would like to personally fly to germany and give you a hug 💖💕💞💗💓💝💖💘

& i'm gonna show my stretch marks some love bc of you 🥺😭 i really hate how men have basically everyone conditioned that you can't love your own body </3 fuck them, y'all beautiful :')

also thanks for what you said :')) you literally are the kindest, sweetest person i think i've ever spoken to and i love you 🥰🥺🥲💓💗

READING YOUR TAGS HAHAHHAHA the spelling errors makes everything so much funnier. once again, i like your german lessons & yea!! i'm gonna play sims after writing this hahah

#catherine's tags are back #i don't think i've told you my name before?? #anyway it's catherine🥰🥰🥰 #i'm typing this on my computer (without emojis) and if i didn't edit this you would be reading shit shite like #heartface and pout and cry LMAO #yeah abt the tattoos #some stuff with my parents i'm like deal with it??? lol #my mom tells me "if there's something you enjoy or you like but i don't have the same opinion on it... why would my (my mom's) opinion matter? #and i love that #like i'm not gonna go and do whatever i want #but if my mom doesn't like that i swear (which isn't true just an example) #its like okay.... #but whatever #and your tattoo ideas sound really cute!! #and yeah @ your parents, i mean you aren't getting something wild #and the tattoo album>>> #i'm gonna look up ariana's butterfly tattoos just so i know what you mean lol #but i'm guessing you don't want something so incredibily simple, but not super like over the top? #correct me if i'm wrong lol #LMAO the tags were in order don't worry ! #and yeah lol ily2 <33 #and once again, again, sorry for this post JSHJS ITS A MESS AND LONG AS HELL #and you don't need to go in order of my post its literally longer than your german compound words #u're fine #also !!! while writing this the birds were chirping outside and i was like 😳 #and one of your fics (i’ve read all of them, i don’t remember lol) that valentine’s day one where y/n had lingerie on (the pancake one lol) #inspired me to buy lingerie #like when i look back on me “growing up” #that fic & basically you lol really helped with that #that made no sense and i don’t know how to make it make sense... but... yeah. like ily

hiiiiiiiiiii <3333

Dear catherine, 😌

(you have said your name before, but it wasn‘t like an introduction or anything i think you were talking about .... was it possibly the incident at the cinema??? And you said something like ‘calm down catherine‘ like you were telling yourself to calm down idkd dkdkkdkd anyway i didn‘t mention it cause i wasn‘t sure if it was an accident or not dkdjd but now i know 😌❤️ Catherine is such a cute and lovely name btw omg and so are your brothers‘s names 🥰

Sorry that I‘m answering this so late, it‘s been an emotional rollercoaster for me since last week but i‘ll get to that in a second lol

Sksklssk girl i haven‘t played sims in like 2 weeks now ekejdkdlldld ok that‘s not that long at all actually but i keep wanting to play but then i end up not playing for whatever reason, so no news about my sims game 😔 but i love the names Liam and Peter and for twins!!! That sounds really nice actually

okay i‘m trying to answer your ask in chronological answer even though i wanted to wait for the depressing stuff and write it at the end or something OKAY so. i thought that i‘d feel so good when i start uni and that i‘ll like... have a purpose in life again and just be happy (cause in the last year i didn‘t do much and i was depressed like half of the time lol).... anyway i kind of feel even worse now? 😭 i think it‘s because in my brain it‘s like: university!!! that means your life will change and it‘ll all be so exciting. and don‘t get me wrong it is exciting butttt..... idk the online thing is so weird cause you‘re not meeting any new people (i‘m introverted anyway but still lol) and it doesn‘t feel like you‘re listening to/talking to actual people cause it feels the same as just watching a video?

also i thought i‘d be busy again but i only have one lecture (90mins) a day and theres one day where i dont have any lectures at all and just one day where i have 3 hours but.... idk i mean i shouldn‘t complain about having so much free time but i just don‘t know what to do all day and in a pandemic there really is nothing to do but i also can‘t relax bc it‘s like during the week and i know i have uni the next day and .... yeah.

There‘s also this one assignment i had to do that took me AT LEAST SIX HOURS AND IM NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING????? so that was the only thing i‘ve been doing besides “going to“ lectures. for this one course we have to read two (really really long) texts (like it literally took me 3 hours to read them) and we‘re supposed to post it on this website that all the professors in our uni use. So after 5 days of anxiety (✌🏼) i posted mine this morning bc last night i realised that i didn‘t even know why i was having anxiety so i just posted mine today. The deadline is tomorrow at 12 and no one except me has posted theirs yet........ so i have anxiety again 🥰 cause idk if i‘m the only one who did it or if i even did it correctly

Edit while i‘m rereading this: my anxiety about uni is a lot better and i‘m not as d*pressed anymore maybe it was just hormones? idk but i‘m better so that‘s good

(I started writing this like 5 hours ago and then i randomly completely forgot lol)

I‘m in a better mood now though so let‘s move on from that (oh wait also, i think i‘m gonna see if i can find a psychiatrist bc with my anxiety symptoms (long story) i need to go to a psychiatrist, and so far i‘ve only gone to like psycholgists and it didn‘t help but i think that‘s just bc i was meant to go to a psychiatrist and not a psychologist so dldjdjsj

n e ways but yes you‘re not alone, ily, things will get better and yes i love you (i‘m not good at this type of thing🥲 but i‘d hug you right now if i could <3)

Yess i think the time difference between est and me is 6hours but gmt is uk time i believe? i think mine is called.... cet? For central european time? I could be completely wrong though lmao

Oof i completely forgot about hollywood, i remember when laura kept posting about it on instagram but i never actually watched it and i definitely won‘t now lmaodkdksjsn

Okay my driving lesson LEBDJDKDK I DID NOT HOOK UP WITH ANYONE AKSJSKSMMLM especially not my 40 or 50 year old driving instructor lol i like her but NOT LIKE THAT, the lesson was really really really good actually and i think i‘ll have my driving test soon, but i don‘t even remember why the anon would have thought that??? Oh wait now i remember okay KEKSKDLDL so during the lesson my instructor was like do you mind if i turn on some music? AND THIS WOMAN TURNED ON ONE DIRECTION I LOVE HER so i made a post about it and i said something about the song up all night and i guess i phrased it in a .... idk in a dumb way 💀 so the anon made a joke that i stayed up with my driving instructor all night and NO. No.

Wait did i read that right? YOU WERE ARIEL ON STAGE? SIALDBDJDKSLMSBDKDMDMDKDJSLSMDJFJJEDMBFEKLEFBJDLDVSIDLESKSKWKDKDJDOWNYUEKWNDUWLNSUFLWVSUDLEHDOENSIDBEISBEHENJELBSIEMWUDNRIW KB WOBE JO ON SBEUU HIII S HWS LV W ICH US KB okay this keyboard smash is getting out of hand but uh please do elaborate on that 💘😌???? Like you can‘t just drop that information and not say more??? I forgot if you‘re in like your school‘s drama group (is that a thing? lol idk anything about acting) or in an independent group? Either way - ARIEL that is so fucking cool

Your brothers loooooool, no i get it though obviously you love them and stuff but esp at their age children are so annoying so good luck with them 😭😭😭lmao

Yeah “anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌“ yeah just me and my parents who constantly fight 🥰 lmao no i like being an only child, like i cannot imagine having siblings but i feel like if i had siblings i would be saying that i can‘t imagine being an only child so? but i do think it‘s quite different like i‘m trying to imagine having siblings and WHAT that‘s just so different omg i‘ve never really thought about it like properly ???

I saw a tik tok the other day that was like “sometimes i forget that my siblings have a life of their own. like i see them as side characters in my life“ and even though i can‘t relate obviously i felt that. lol, like i can really imagine how it feels idk what i‘m talking about like shut the fuck up, daria

(also my actual name is daria not aria but i dont like it, and also i wanted to be more anonymous on tumblr so now i‘m aria lmao. pls don‘t mention it though cause no one knows except for you and mel (peterbenjiparker) dkdkdkdnkdnd. but i‘m starting to identify with the name cause everyone keeps calling me that looool😭😭😭 (but i like the name, more than daria anyway? well it also depends on the accent, cause the way germans say daria is okay. the was Americans say it is also okay, but some of my family in England are from the north of england and i don‘t like how they say my name 💀 no offence to them(?) but yeah pls don‘t mention the name in your ask cause the chance of people seeing it is higher then (or if you want to say something about it just send a separate ask and i just won‘t post it (IDK what you‘d want to say about my name but yeah just in case slsldlldmsndnsns)

I‘m loving falcon and winter soldier so much but when i was watching an episode the week before last week (?) my laptop broke😭😭😭😭 during the scene where the dora milaje came at the end my laptop just shut down? And it had these lines all over the screen and i had to bring it to the shop where i bought it and they said it‘ll take 6-8 weeks to repair 💔💔💔 but at least it‘ll be for free, cause if i brought it back to apple it would cost like 400€ (i think that‘s nearly 500$) so yeah. but it sucks cause now i‘m “going to uni“ on a really old rusty laptop and on my phone which kinda sucks. oh yeah and also i can‘t watch anything on there 😭 i definitely want to watch wandavision but it‘ll have to wait🤧

Yessss you should def get your GED! I googled and I‘m still not entirely sure what it is dldks but from how you described it- YES!!!!!!

Idk if you know this? Like no idea if I‘ve told you this already (hmmm wait i feel like we talked about it actually?) anyway i was originally gonna go study in England, but for loads of reasons I ended up staying in Germany and I‘m def happy with my decision, but I definitely want to go to England sometime even if it‘s just for six months or maybe for my masters or something? And (obviously everyone is different) but i think everyone should go abroad and live in a different country once in their life, no matter if it‘s for school or what, and even if it‘s just for a few weeks. But i think that‘s something that you‘d never ever forget! And combining that with your acting/theatre??? You really would be living the dream 💘💘😌

how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?— sounds good see you soon 🥰🥰🥰

i used to be one of the people who‘d just do motherlode motherlode motherlode and just... what did i do? Why did i do that??? But not anymore lol. Like I said i haven‘t played sims in a few weeks but i‘ve been watching a few legacy challenge let‘s plays and usually i play with the aging off. So my sims just don‘t age 💀 but i could (should) turn aging on so that it stays exciting and i have limited time and everything. and once i get bored with my current sims i can just make them have kids and continue playing as their children when they get older- like recently i remembered that i haven‘t played the acting career in ages? and i haven‘t had a shop in ages? and i think you can even become a vet right??? like those are definitely some things i want to do in the next weeks!!! Also yes sksksjs i have a few hundred hours on sims as well (if not thousands 😭) it was just that one household that i‘d been playing with for 24hrs

AND GIRL SSKSKJD THE UNIVERSITY THING HAPPENED TO ME TOO, it was a while ago so i don‘t remember what degree and what job it was about but i made my sim study something for aaaaaages so she‘d get a better job from the beginning (you know what i mean like get in at a higher level)...... and i apparently studied the wrong thing cause i didn‘t get any benefits from studying and still had to start at level 1 and shit 🥴🥲

Oh also (this was like 2 weeks ago) Enisa and Michael did take in Michael‘s daughter and i think Enisa currently even has a higher/better relationship with the daughter than Michael but um💀💀💀 also i was hoping (since michael and enisa married (in their back yard i think lol) that the daughter (i forget what her name is😭) would have enisa as her step mom? Like you know how you can see the relationship and it says daughter or son or sister.. and i was hoping that it would say step mom but it doesn‘t say anything 🥲 but in my mind (and if the sims had proper family relations) she is her step mom😌 also Leo is a teenager now???? I mean I aged him up lol dkdk he was being too annoying as a toddler but i don‘t like children so i aged him up twice in one day and now he‘s a teen, but that means he can look after his half sister when she becomes a toddler which is good (the game recognises them as siblings tho even if they‘re just half siblings? why can‘t they have step family members in the sims🥲) okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

I‘ve been a bit sick these past few days and now i‘m getting a headache so i have to finish this response tomorrow 😭😭😭 </3

It‘s not tomorrow, it‘s 3 hours later but i‘m better lol

oooff when sims are ungrateful and won‘t woo woo (lol i like that) cause they‘re too tired like?? Be grateful that you‘re not living with your parents anymore 🙄 no okay dkdkdkdl idk if you play with mods (i don‘t) but i know there is a mod (or it‘s part of a mod idk maybe wicked whims?) where you can adjust the percentage of how risky a normal woo woo is, like you still click woo woo (3dksksks okay i‘ll say woohoo again— wait is that what’s it called? 😭) but there‘s like a 25% chance that your sim can still get pregnant just like in real life there‘s always a chance of getting pregnant even if you‘re using protection (just not 25% lmao) but yeah i personally don‘t play with mods sksk and you can always just click try for baby but it would be cool if you could add stuff like risky woohoo to the game without mods (i have no idea how to download mods and i play sims on a really really old laptop and sims is literally tje only thing that works on it anyway so—) i repeat my words from earlier: okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

okay i‘m so sorry i‘m gonna watch fast & furious 1 now cause i need to watch f&f 1-5 until the 30th of april cause they‘re only on netflix til then (i mean i could watch them somewhere else but the quality is never as good) so i will finish this tomorrow after all😭

it is now 1 am, i finished the film, can feel a new obsession coming up again (i always have these f&f obsessions for six months before and after a new film comes out)

THE GOOGLE TRANSLATE wkekdjdj tbh it sounds like someone is speaking with some kind of foreign accent i guess that‘s probably because it just is a direct translation and so anyway slsjsj i don‘t know if you asked me what the word fucking is in german? like idk cause the translation is a bit weird but in case you asked lol sidjsjs theres not really a good translation like we just say fuck for fuck lmao, i don‘t know if you typed in fucking in google translate and it came out as verdammt? cause that means damn (or damned sksjjs) ummm yeah idek if/what you asked so imma move on🤧

I‘m not gonna comment on what you said about every stormzy song cause you already said all the important things but SKSKSJSJSKNSNDBDUDOENWBSLSKKHSULSLSKSBSJSKSK I WAS SMILING SO HARD WHEN I READ YOUR RESPONSE FOR THE FIRST TIME BECAUSE AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH finally i know someone who loves him as much as i do 💘💘💘 also since you brought it up, i‘m pretty sure he‘s considered the most successful UK rapper or if not then at least top 3 so he‘s defffffffffinitely big in the uk, in germany more and more people are listening to uk rap too but not as much stormzy cause theyre dumb apparently 🙄 but anywY i‘m sooooo sooo happy that you like him. i think hith came out end of 2019 (i could be wrong but i think it came out on the 13th of december so (in a european way) you‘d write the date: 13.12 and obviously i don‘t KNOW this but i can definitely imagine that he chose that date because ACAB and yes, Michael. Yes. But he hasn‘t made too much music since then so i hope he‘s working on some new stuff 🤞🏼

Also i ordered the stormzy poster😌 also a nicki minaj one bc i decided i‘m gonna have one wall with red-ish posters (i already have two kinda red ones) and one with blue/green-ish posters (already have two) and i can add stormzy to the blue one and nicki to the red one, but i think that‘s it cause if my walls are tooo full it could look cluttered? I‘m not sure how that type of thing works lmao but my room is generally untidy so i don‘t want the walls to look unorganised too so i think that‘s it for now

I really want to finish this now but my brain is getting kinda slow and i need to sleep soon so this will have to wait till later after all 🥺🥴 (not that it makes and difference to you bc you‘ll see this whenever i post it buttttt i wanted you to know that i want to talk to you again but with my slow brain i‘m just taking too long to do it in one day😭😭😭 and i‘m so busy tomorrow hmm but i‘m sure i‘ll have 30 minutes to finish this then <3)

Okay wait I‘m so dumb I didn‘t realise I‘d nearly answered everything i could have posted this yesterday 😭😭

Oooohh that summer bra sounds so nice like if i was confident enough i literally would just wear a top that resembles a bra (or really is a bra lol) cause my tiddies always be looking amazing i‘m just insecure about my stomach sometimes 🙄🙄🙄 but recently i‘ve been loving myself more and more tbh 😌

also i hope you can go shopping for some nice clothes soon ✨😌

I‘ll be honest I haven‘t listened to your song recs YET but only because i wanna take my time with them and i‘ve been so busy and slso AJ tracey‘s album came out last week and I haven‘t listened to that one yet either so ekdkdj (he‘s also a uk rapper like quite popular and successful as well, but i feel like i‘m not gonna like his album cause whenever i‘m looking forward to an album it ends up being really bad and the albums where you weren‘t expecting it turn out to be bangers.... so yeah but i‘ll let you know when i listen to your songs!!!! :)

Omg i keep having to scroll up all the way to see the next thing you said so sorry if I completely miss some of the things you said😭😭

So when you sent this the bird was still bothering me oh my FUCK DKDLDMMDMDMD but now i‘ve been going to bed at like 1-2am so the bird is probably still asleep lool

Okay and for the rest of your ask my response is: 💘💖❣️💚❣️💛❣️💛💕💞❤️💓💟💞💕💕💖💘💝💟💟🧡❤️🧡💞💛💚💓💚💚💚❣️🧡💖💘🧡💝🧡💕💘🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥰🥺🥺💘💘💘💘💘 (okay that looked cuter in my head i don‘t really like the green hearts dldkkdksndnd)

#lovely anon #<3333333333333 #‚‘it‘s literally longer than your german compound words‘ LMAODKDMSLDKSLKS #ignore the comma at the beginning of the last tag????#aww wait i just read what you said at the end of your tags🥺🥺💘💘💘#love youuuu #ooooof i‘m reading my response and do i not know what a period is? like period as in. full stop.#my sentences are literally paragraphs and i use keyboard smashes to separate sentences from each other like what‘s wrong with me???#or ‚lol‘ snd ‚lmao‘#imma need me to do better (did you listen to heavy is the head as a whole? like the whole album? the song do better is stuck in my head toda #today so)#i‘ll try to write normal length sentenced in the future💀#sentencessss*

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sillyfudgemonkeys · 4 years

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Late to the slapping discourse but I think another thing is, well, p much everybody, be they makoto fans or haters, despise that confidant, especially due to eiko hogging up so much screentime, so seeing makoto slap her was likely pretty cathartic

sfdjkhla I get where ya coming from anon, but sorry you just reignited this fury inside me again I’mma just rant (not at you, just at the void that is tumblr, I’m just mad and I have more to say about this topic apparently laskfdj;af Just know you didn’t do anything wrong, but your ask did make me think of something new so yay!). Tho tbh, I’ve seen other Mako haters hate that she slaps Eiko for my similar reasons (aka Mako is a pretty bad person who gets away with some bad shit because she’s an main character and we need to be “on her side”). But I don’t think that slap should’ve been viewed as cathartic (tho I get WHY people do), or the fact that it is showcases a big (writing) problem.

(also sorry this is all over the place, I’m writing it very quickly, while quickly reviewing her CoOp, before I go to bed)

Y’all know I hate Makoto, and I think her CoOp is hot garbage, but I don’t actually blame Eiko for it tbh (I mean Ryuji/Anne’s are just fine with juggling other chars, despite having their own issues.....not so much are because of said side chars, it’s other things but again the side chars are juggled just fine with Anne/Ryu). I don’t really hate the char, I think she’s fine. She’s a pretty friendly person, maybe a tad airheadish but she’s not mean (at least she doesn’t say mean things without a reason). Hell I think she does her role pretty fine, it’s Makoto who fails to overcome flaws (mostly her hotheadedness and applying these new view points she’s learned).

If the writers intended Makoto’s slap to be cathartic no offense but fuck those writers yo. Because it showcases Makoto really is unable to understand any other person’s mindset (at least in practice), does her own selfish shit, and gets rewarded even tho she hurt someone or failed to actually do the bare min to make up for shit she’s done (like the Kamo arc, sorry but you had her say it yourself writers “it’s not that I couldn’t do anything, it’s that I just didn’t care enough” your whole “adults make me do things I don’t want to/they are mean :(” bs doesn’t mesh well, you don’t actually resolve or address the flaw of that char, you just shoved responsibility onto someone else....with that something else isn’t really explored/expanded upon either). Basically, if that slap was cathartic, I think the writers failed....I mean they already did fail with them actually writing that slap in, but they failed at their theme/moral to boot.

So when I have Makoto, who’s CoOp literally starts out with her wanting to learn new perspectives (and you know, maybe kinda learning a little EMPATHY) it’s hard to argue she learned that shit when she literally is unable to do just that and slaps someone. As well as reinforce the fact SHE SHOULDN’T BE IN THE POSITION SHE IS IN (aka our planner/advisor/whatever). 1) It shows she can’t control her emotions (and if we’re gonna give Ryu shit, she def deserves it too), 2) she can’t come up with a gd plan to save her life (the best plan the PT came up with was the first dungeon in PQ2 and guess what? She wasn’t a part of it, gee I’d be shocked but....I’m not).

It just showcases the poor writing ability of that writer. Makoto’s CoOp is about her learning new things about society and her peers she’s failing at, and ability to connect/understand the people around her....and at that freaking climax it just shows.....she didn’t learn shit. She’s been saying she did all CoOp, even basically says she understands why Eiko is acting that way, but what does she do with that info? Does’t apply it when confronting her and just reverts to bullheaded Makoto mode. It doesn’t matter what happens after, we don’t see her reconcile with Eiko, all that is off screen. In the climatic moment, she fails to accomplish the goal of what her CoOp set out to do....and she’s rewarded for it. She doesn’t realize why Eiko is upset, she doesn’t try to think of a backup plan in case her first one fails, she acts only on her own emotions in the moment. And no “her friend is in danger of prostitution so it’s now or never” is NOT a good excuse, you wanna know WHY? The freaking, change of heart part of the ENTIRE GD GAME! Any argument of “we can’t always use hear changes” goes out the gd window with like 90% of any problems we encounter when we can just go to the Metaverse (to even just interrogate tbh!). The only reason Anne/Yoshida work is because Anne’s we don’t know till the literal last second and by then it’s resolved itself, and Yoshida is dead set on fixing it himself! Makoto’s CoOp? No, that guy should be bumped from “shady boyfriend” to “yeah this guy is now on our request lists holy shit does he fit our MO”

But back to Eiko, yeah it’s great Makoto is expanding her horizons, so glad she knows what a cardigan is~! Too bad, despite actually knowing her friend’s circumstance and possibly why she’s acting that way, Makoto doesn’t approach it with the level of tact that is freaking needed. Showcasing she’s learnt nothing, nothing from her past mistakes, not from “these new viewpoints I’ve learnt,” nothing from knowing WHY her friend might be feeling this way. She literally just does what she’s been doing. She just has the smoke and mirrors benefit of saying “well I learnt a new viewpoint” but your actions speak louder than your words. You didn’t learn shit.

Wait....no I’m not giving Makoto enough credit, haha, you see she did learn something, at the beginning of the CoOp, and that’s actually not ignoring something shady going on. Unlike with the Kamo arc. My bad, so instead of seeing her bull her way through feeling “forced” to do something, we see her bulling her way through “caring” this time. But here’s the thing, that wasn’t her arc for this CoOp, her understanding other viewpoints was. She failed. Somehow she freaking failed. It’s a talent Makoto! It’s a real talent you have there!

You know why I think Makoto/Eiko thing pisses me off so much? I have a friend that reminds me a lot of Eiko. She’s nice, def a girly gal type person, as well as other things. She had just begun dating someone I deemed a red flag (not Tsukasa bad like selling yourself or that she was in any kinda danger, but still a “yeah you should know” kinda thing....like...I’d feel bad if I didn’t know about it and I was in her position kinda thing). And you know what I did? Did I take her out into public on a crowded street and yell at her and say you need to break up with him and when she got (pretty rightfully) defensive I then slapped her and got on my high horse and was like “I’m doing this for your own good! YOU don’t understand MY position, what I’M going through, but you need to know what I’m doing is for the BEST!”? No. That never crossed my freaking mind cause I’m not a psychopath. I instead, took her out for ice cream, sat in a more remote spot for privacy, and reassured her of her emotions and own autonomy and that I cared and that I understand she cares about things and I’m coming from a place of good faith and I wasn’t there to attack her, and then I broke the news to her. You know what she did? She laughed, was happy I was a normal human being with some tact, said she wished another friend of hers did what I did instead of through text. Said she’d take what I said into consideration. She broke up with him a few months later.....cause he was a twat apparently, but our friendship was well in tact and strengthened. And I was barely a year older than Makoto was at the time, AND a super awkward honor student AND my friendship with her was about as new as Mako’s and Eiko’s (AND we were very much opposites like those two hell even more so).

I dunno, it just would’ve been so much more impactful if Makoto, instead of slapping Eiko after she called Mako a “bitch.” Mako stepped forward (making everyone think she’s going to be physical but instead it showcases Makoto thinking rationally for once), looked Eiko in the eye and said “What you think of me is not all that I am. And even if you hate me, know I still think of you as my friend and will be here for you for whatever reason. But I won’t let you throw your life away, not for this scum of a human being. *turns to Tsukasa* Listen to me asshole, I say this not as some honor student, but as Eiko’s friend. You will be delivered justice, and you will apologize to Eiko and all the other girls who’s lives you’ve ruined” to which we either get Tsukasa’s name via asking around (low key Ichiko could probably help), or by getting it from Shadow!Eiko in the metaverse. The next rank we see Eiko and Mako making up, and Mako explains how she’s more than just an honor student (basically the shit she says after she slaps Eiko), and Eiko apologizes for all the mean things she said in the moment and how she felt afraid or whatever other stuff they wanna add to deepen her char or whatever. And we have a theme kept intact, and Eiko even learns about new perspectives (as well as reinforcing this whole moral/theme to the viewer)....but we legit get to see this development for her, and we learn how to do it with compassion and understanding and not ‘slap to be dramatic~!’ bs (because then it comes off as like....using force to change someone’s behavior.....and like????? probably not the best message ESP for P5′s setting). You can dislike Eiko, but the CoOp technically became just as much as her arc as Mako’s and the fact we don’t see the resolution is poor. (btw the “how/when” it would’ve taken place would’ve been rank 9 still, we just wouldn’t rank up till the mementos mission was done, that or restructure the link but the former is easier)

So....yeah....maybe it’s the fact that Makoto’s CoOP belittles how teens can actually resolve these problems. Maybe it’s the fact we’re supposed to root for Mako’s bad behavior. Maybe it’s the fact when it came down to the wire, Mako didn’t utilize the knowledge she has been bragging about getting over the CoOp. Maybe it’s the fact she resorted to violence when there was another avenue to take. Maybe it’s the fact we never see Makoto actually hit a bad guy/aggressor (instead we have to save her from those) but instead only see her hitting her so called friends. Maybe it’s the fact of her showcasing flaws that she shouldn’t have (her hotheadedness and shitty planning skills). Or maybe it’s the fact we root for a “cathartic slap” in favor of doing what this CoOp is supposed to be: teaching Makoto AND the viewer about learning to see someone else’s perspective, and coming up with a plan that we never would’ve thought of to help fix that issue. Sacrificing a big theme/moral of the CoOp for something “dramatic.”

But I don’t know why I should be shocked, this is P5. Contradictions everywhere, in the lore, in the themes, in the writing, in the morals. Just. Everywhere.

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ambthecreative · 3 years

Text

DESTIEL RANT! Unpopular Opinion Time - The Scene was NOT Homophobic

Wow. It’s BEEN YEARS! And yet here I am again! I have returned to my Tumblr roots, rambling about Supernatural again! I have come full circle! Summoned by three words spoken by the Angel of the Lord we all knew and loved. But lets get down to business. Everyone’s going crazy. They either loved it, hated it, loved/hated it, hated/loved it, etc. Even people who never watched an episode felt the need to add their two cents without any context or with extreme bias. So here’s the observations from a former Supernatural Fan and intense DESTIEL SHIPPER, but also one who has stopped watching it cause omfg it sucks so bad now. My bias comes from both angles and thus neutralizes each other out xD Obviously, spoilers for Episode 18 of Season 15 of Supernatural lay ahead. ~~~

(TL;DR: The scene wasn’t bad because it was forced or homophobic. It was neither. The scene was bad because of long term poor plotting, repetitive character arcs and horrendous timing and execution. That said, my shipping heart is just happy that it happened at all. <3 ) ONWARDS! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lets just get to the point. At first glance, that scene looks extremely homophobic and when it was first described to me (I haven’t watched the show since Season 9), it appears that is indeed the case. And you can make a STRONG case for it to, if you watched that scene and knew of all the fucking queer bait we had to live through before getting here. But I watched the entire episode. And I think this is key. Cause while it’s easy to say its all homophobic, that’s not actually what was happening. The truth is, the episode is a set up for the ending. Sure it seems to be framed that Castiel is sent to the Empty for being gay, but that’s the bias talking. Contextually, Castiel is sent to the Empty for being Truly Happy. Also EVERYONE dies. Funny how no one is up in arms that Charlie’s GF got poofed at the very start of the episode. Not gay enough for it to count? Like she literally made her girlfriend breakfast and they were flirting, and boom she was gone FOREVER, not sent to a place where people have come back from before, but with NO EVIDENCE of them being alive at all. Dead. Gone. But no one says a damn thing. And then EVERYONE died. THEN Cas died. And yet everyone got like temporary amnesia and its like, “CASTIEL WAS KILLED FOR BEING GAY!!!” That’s...not what happened tho. What’s really sad is the moment with Castiel was actually a GREAT plot point/twist, if only they had done it better. NO ONE would be saying SHIT if Castiel had been a woman. NO ONE. Or at least, they would mostly see it as tragic than anything else. But because Castiel is making a homosexual love confession, it must BE because he’s GAY! It’s really ironic. Judging that scene as homophobic is ACTUALLY homophobic* (not really, but i can’t think of a better word). Or at least you’re judging the scene by their sexuality and not by what is actually going on. Now I remembered something after thinking about this scene for a while. THIS PLOT POINT HAS HAPPENED BEFORE IN ANOTHER EVEN MORE ICONIC SHOW!!! Now bear with me cause I never watched the whole thing, only the bits and pieces my roommate shared with me. But the whole “I am cursed to suffer a terrible fate if I ever experience true happiness” has been done before. And where was that?

Spoilers for Buffy by the way. SO! To all those who are still trying to spin this as platonic, you need to watch more shitty afterschool 90s supernatural TV shows. In season 2 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Buffy’s good vampire boyfriend, wakes up evil because he had a moment of true happiness. And this dooms the couple. NOW. Do you call this...heterophobia???? Oh I hear you! “But Angel didn’t die and he and Buffy got to be romantic and actually have sex before that shit went down! Not the same thing!” TRUE. I didn’t really bring this up to make an argument that the scene/show isn’t homophobic (or at least they are very uncomfortable with it), but rather I wanted to make a point that the PLOT POINT is not at all homophobic and is actually really awesome. The issue with the scene is the execution. That moment between Cas and Dean should have happened SEASONS ago or at the VERY LEAST earlier in this FINAL season, and not right at the very end. The other reason why it worked so well with Buffy is that they had plenty of episodes afterwards to go into it, have Buffy react to it, and deal with it and such. Meanwhile SPN, still BLATANTLY uncomfortable with handling this sort of thing, decided to put Castiel away in a dark closet and then put forth an end the world plotline by killing EVERYONE so Dean is too busy to actually think and talk about it for any real length of time XD. I wouldn’t use the word homophobic for it, because it wasn’t used as a joke, it wasn’t used to demean gay people, it wasn’t meant to say “if you are homosexual, you go to hell.”

That’s not it at all. The only reason people think that is because they’ve been hurt in the past so many times, by religion and government and truly homophobic media, and this scene triggers that hurt. HOWEVER, if you look at that scene without that lens, it’s more cowardly and insecure, than homophobic. Cause at the end of the day, that’s the whole problem with Supernatural. They never commit. Their writing is lazy and weak because they don’t have the writing chops to actually GO FOR IT.

They are constantly at war with the writing, the ratings/money, and the general public views. They constantly add poc and homosexual characters, but are too afraid to actually do anything with them in fear of doing it poorly and upsetting people (and honestly, it’s a valid fear XD). I stopped watching Supernatural cause the writing is HORRIBLE. It has nothing to do with homophobia and everything to do with the fact its all over the place, there’s no stakes, the power escalation is shot to hell, they keep saying SIKE when they do kill people, no changes last forever, and it should have ended SEASONS ago. Its BAD. But in regards to homosexuality, the fact that they used a plot point that the legendary Buffy the Vampire Slayer used but used it on two characters of the same sex is actually AMAZING. YES it was CRINGY. The handprint was cringy! They were trying WAY too hard to make it different than the other 1000000 times Castiel died for Dean. But it was their poor plotting, their overuse of killing and bringing back people, the fact Dean and Cas never actually even toyed with the idea of romance openly in the entire show, that caused this scene to not shine as brightly as it could have.

THAT SAID.

HOLY SHIT CASTIEL LOVES DEAN! THATS AMAZING!!!! Ahem. Another reason why people get this scene so wrong is because they think writers are actual Gods. We are not. They are flawed and they are many and this show had WAY too many showrunners. AND IT SHOWS. But you know whos constant? The actors. Dean has never really changed. Jensen played him exactly as he’s always played him. ALWAYS. Any person who got mad that Dean didn’t sob or kiss Castiel needs to take off their gay fucking glasses and respect the fact that THAT ISN’T DEAN. HE’S NEVER BEEN THAT WAY. EVEN IF CASTIEL WAS A WOMAN HE WOULDNT HAVE ACTED THAT WAY.

Also Dean has been so BLATANTLY straight this WHOLE time. Now I’m not saying that the romantic feelings were not reciprocal. I’m saying we don’t fucking know XD Hell DEAN might not know, and honestly that would be the most realistic and best way to handle that. Do you know how FUCKED UP it would have been if Dean broke character and suddenly came out as Gay and totally fine with that and just acted like he’s been gay this WHOLE time even when it’s so obvious that he was not?!! Its like - Respect Homosexuality, but Disrespect all other sexualities. You can’t just force Dean to be Gay and Comfortable With That Fact (tm).

You can’t. And to expect and force Jensen Ackles to play his character, that he’s played for years that way, to tell him to fuck off how he’s BEEN playing him cause it’s not good enough anymore even though everyone ATE IT UP before Castiel came on screen, is an INSULT to him. I do think he can realize it. I think he can lean into it. I really do think it’s possible to do it in a way that’s realistic and still in character with how Jensen has played him all these years. But now, you’re all fucking entitled little nutcases if you think that Dean should bend to your fanfic fantasy as being head over heels in love with a man without any issue at all when there’s absolutely nothing in his backstory, childhood, or ANYTHING that would explain why he would be that way. I’m old as fuck, but you know how Dean SHOULD play it? Like Heath Ledger’s character in Brokeback Mountain. He didn’t exactly showed his emotions regarding the love of his fucking life immediately, now did he? BUT THAT SAID THIS ISNT BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN YOU HORNY FUCKS XDD Ahem. That’s also a reminder for myself XD ANYWAYS!!!

TL;DR: The scene wasn’t bad because it was forced or homophobic.

It was neither.

The scene was bad because of long term poor plotting, repetitive character arcs and horrendous timing and execution.

That said, my shipping heart is just happy that it happened at all. <3 The End. That is all

#supernatural #destiel #castiel #dean winchester #season 15 episode 18 #s15e18 #despair #spn #spoilers

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revol-lover · 4 years

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dreams don’t end at “30″

so i just had a little breakthrough and maybe this wont sound like anything to anyone else but i just have to share it

so i’ve talked about this before. about how my friend and i were both planning these personal development like goals for this year that covid got in the way of. and he said something, about how this is his last year in his 20s and he wanted to get some goals accomplished before 30

and i thought about that and realized something.

i have been feeling similarly about a few goals that i’ve been hanging onto for years and years. like i’m going to be honest with you, some people might remember this if you’ve been around here for a long time but probably not. anyway when i was in high school i really wanted to make music, sing, learn an instrument. and i did make some covers that i posted on myspace (showing my age here lol) and youtube but then i kind of gave up on it when

1) became 18 and realized my dream to go to NYC and pursue music when i was 18 wasn’t happening because of a million reasons (it was very much a pipe dream, right? i mean you can’t have that dream and not prepare for it and i didnt. also i was too scared at the time to even move out to my own place if i had the funds to do so because my parents wouldnt have really approved and i was still so under their thumb)

2) broke up with my musician boyfriend. which needed to happen. but he was the only person super passionate about that kind of goal at the time around me (till he ran lol) and he actually is still doing music now so good for him but basically

because of those 2 reasons i just let go of that dream all together as something i thought i wanted to do but was “unrealistic”.

but the thing about turning 30 and feelings like you needed to achieve all these personal/dreamy/goals in your 20s. what is that bullshit? why?

what changes when you cross over to 30? i’ll tell you one thing. media pushes movies, books, films, everything about people chasing their dreams in their 20s and “settling” down in their 30s. where’s my inspiring movie about the 32 year old mom who finally wrote a song and performed it live after being terrified her whole life of doing so?

think about it though

in your 30s you. *might* have a better paying job than you did in your 20s. which means, if you can manage to find time or a way for it, you *might* be able to save a little more money or afford to do something like, buy that guitar and guitar lessons in order to learn to play and write a song and live out your dream in some way, even if its just learning to play so you can play at an open mic. and maybe you’ll like that and you’ll somehow connect with likeminded people and form a band. idk. your dreams dont have to end in your 20s.

you dont have to fall into the trap of your 20s are for your dreams that are so big you feel like the chance of achieving them is getting struck by lightening

and then your 30s are for fancy adult goals like buying a house, and going on a $10k vacation and those things are probably just as hard as the goals you had in your 20s but the world wont make you see it that way. its seen as “selfish” to prioritize and budget for your artistic goals - but not a house. no that’s responsible and what you “should” do. but its ok to prioritize something that’s going to give your soul fulfillment too! we need to believe that! because it’s true. we are not here just to work our jobs and live mundane colorless lives once we aren’t considered “young” anymore (but 30s are still young. not what i’m saying)

you’re always going to be chasing something big and if you let the world control what that thing is you’re always going to be on some rat race.

it’s fine if you achieve your goals in a different order than the world says you were supposed to. i got married young and had a child young, that was how my life played out and i’m happy with that because, yes, finding love and becoming a mother very much were goals of mine.

yes i dropped out of college because i couldn’t afford it and i couldnt find a major that felt worth being in debt for. and also, because hey guess what? contrary to what a lot of people will try to lead you to believe, college is not for everyone. and college does not = success. college drop out does not = failure. it’s just an option of something you could do with your life. AND if you didn’t go to your college in your 20s it doesnt mean you can’t in your 30s. or 50s. hell my husband, who did go to college saw elderly (think, 80s!) people going to his college as students! college isn’t just for 18 year olds fresh out of high school.

My 27th birthday is in 2 weeks and no, i have not yet to worked up the courage to write an original song from words to music, or have the courage to get on a stage and sing anything, or talk to a stranger, or publish any of my writing or art, goals i’ve had whirling around in my brain since I was 18, but, it’s going to happen. maybe this year. maybe when i’m 35, but it’s going to happen. a number is not going to be the thing holding me back.

that whole mentality of “my youth is slipping away i need to achieve all these dreams before midnight the day of my 30th birthday” is so stupid and flawed and we all deserve to see ourselves, and our individual potential as more than that.

last part of this rant - one of the reason i even became so passionate about reignighting some of my dusty, old goals, that it turned out, i still cared about, is because i had a moment where i was like

ok i am a mom. i am someones mom. how will my daughter see me, as a person, not just her mom?

kevin and i always talk about how between the two of us we’ve both had a lot of quintessential young adult experiences that we look forward to sharing with her. like, quitting jobs, getting in car accidents, that one time i unknowingly participated in an illegal bonfire and ran from the cops then lied straight to their faces and somehow got away with it (literally my ONE act of teen rebellion), changing college majors like 3 years in (kevin), failed classes, tried cigarettes, etc like i’m ready, and hope that one day she will feel comfortable talking to us about things because we’ve been through things and have a lot of input and two different perspectives to offer

but further than that, i realized that i want her to know that her mom is a person too. i want her to know that mom is also passionate about writing, and music, and somehow tackled some of her goals in regards to that so that SHE can feel that SHE, too can do those things. and i know that, that is in part how it works

because,

my dad IS an artist. my dad IS a musician. yall. my dad is SO talented. my dad is brilliant. besides his artistic abilities which include, drawing literal realistic as fuck portraits, sculpting, painting, playing guitar, bass, piano, mandolin, he also knows music composition, etc etc etc beyond all of that, he also taught himself fucking PLUMBING and ELECTRICIAN SHIT to fix things in our house growing up. like he bought a book. and taught himself. my dad. i grew up thinking that was normal but i realized not everyones dad can just tear down the bathroom and rebuild it from scratch down to the plumbing without being a licensed professional.

but anyway the point is - as talented as my dad is, he doesnt really pursue his artistic dreams much. and its sad. i’m glad that i’ve seen some of the work he did when he was younger. i’m glad that if i bring it up, he’ll show me something he can do. but he doesnt pursue it anymore really. my dad works an exhausting physical labor job but even he, as a 50something year old has fallen into that trap of like, i dont have time to draw, but he will scroll his phone and read articles for hours and i’m not shaming him. i’m just saying we all have this problem in the modern era of technology and social media and what not (hell i am writing a post on tumblr instead of my book right now).

but if timing was different and my dad grew up in a different time, where lets say something distracted him from doing the little bit of art and music that he did when i was a kid that i was able to witness, if i hadnt seen that. i wouldnt know that.. in a way.. that’s in me. i mean, he’s my dad. if my dad could pick up a craft and work at it to be good at it, why can’t i? there are so many musicians and (kind unrelated but not rly - i think being “self made” is an art) business owners in my family. there’s either some common thread in our genetics ORRRRRRRRRR just growing up around people working at and succeeding at those kinds of goals shows you that it CAN be done so you’re more likely to believe in your abilities

and i want that for my daughter. because even as an almost 3 year old i can see that she has a gift for music, and reading. and even if i’m wrong about that and she grows up wanting to do some other thing as a job or hobby, i want her to know, by seeing her mom do it, that she can achieve anything she puts her heart to. you don’t have to box yourself in because of your age or your sex or the fact that you’re a parent.

and your dream doesnt have to become your career. it can be a hobby and still be fulfilling. like yes, 18 year old me dreamed about some life in nyc singing in clubs or bars or whatever and being ~famous (lol) and that did not happen, but i can still get out there and play open mic downtown and get that love of music, and desire to face my fear of performing out of my system. maybe i’ll love it. maybe i’ll hate it. but i’ll have done it. and that’s the ultimate goal.

sorry i went off but i had to get that out of my system and i’m very passionate about

#personal

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alwaysconfused47 · 4 years

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I know I said I'd be posting my stories again, but I'm in an ASL interpreting internship, and preparing to interpret a musical, and all my time is eaten up by all that. I graduate at the end of the summer, so I'll definitely be back by then. I just wanted to come on here to say something that's been heavy on my heart. And it has nothing to do with writing, but whatever. I just didn't know where else to put this.

TW: discussion of sex

I'm asexual, or ace. That's important to this story. If you don't know what that means, it means I don't experience sexual attraction. There are many aces who still want to have sex. I am not one of them.

I worked at a church camp for a couple summers and I made a guy friend. First summer, he said he liked me, but I wasn't interested. Second summer, he said he still liked me. I was a little more open, but not fully. We started doing this thing we called pushing the boundaries of our friendship. We'd ask each other questions and had to answer truthfully. Started out as a way to know each other better, but we both knew where it was headed.

Eventually, we started asking about future spouses. I had to work up my courage, but I asked him what he would think if his future spouse didn't want to have sex. This was back before I knew exactly how I felt or what asexuality was, but I was pretty certain I just didn't want sex. Period.

He assumed I meant I (because we were obviously talking about ourselves with these questions) was saying I was nervous about having sex. He said he was nervous too, because he had never done it before either. And he didn't want sex right away, of course.... but he did expect sex to be an important part of the relationship.

That answer was where our romance ended.

However, I wasn't completely sure how I felt about sex at the time, so I thought, "Maybe I am just nervous." I didn't want to ruin anything because of that. So when he asked me to be his girlfriend, I said yes. We lasted a month before I broke up with him.

The entire time we were together, I couldn't keep myself from thinking about our impending sexual adventures. I wanted to talk to him about it, but I had already tried. He had made it pretty clear that he expected sex at some point. And the fact that he hadn't taken my words literally when I said "don't want sex" just showed that he believed everyone has this intrinsic sexual desire. Who wouldn't want sex at all, right?

So that entire month, I was stressing. And now, I can't help but wonder if things would've been different if I had already known about asexuality, if I had been able to tell him straight up that sex was not an option.

I'd like to talk to him about it now, but it's been a few years since then. Plus, after we split, he stopped being my friend. That made me feel like he hadn't been interested in me as a friend back when we were friends. He only ever wanted to date me, and now that that was over, he wanted nothing to do with me. He had built up this idea of who I was and who we would be together, and when that didn't stick, he just dropped me. We did message a bit a while later, but I'm just not good with any kind of text relationships, friendship or otherwise. So we let it die off.

Would he even care, at this point? Does it even matter if he cares, because obviously, this is something I need to address, or I wouldn't be here ranting to the tumblr world.

I just don't know.

If you made it this far, any advice? Even if not, thanks for stopping by.

#camp #summer #asexuality #asexual #ace #ace discourse #questions #past is haunting me #I've been away too long #i didn't even have the option to make a title #i like the titles #i need to figure out How to do titles again #i need to stop with the hashtags

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sandwyrm · 4 years

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TL;DR melancholic rant on why I took the writing in WoW so badly this year just to get it all out and finish my fucking five stages of grief spin routine.

Gonna read more it, it’s probably gonna end up super long and unedited really so don’t feel obligated to read lol

I am one of those losers that has been with Warcraft for the whole 25 years. I watched the company grow from “check out this FULL GAME coming with this gaming magazine! it’s called Warcraft: Orcs and Humans!” to being the biggest MMO around and celebrating 25 years while the world is burning. And when I was younger, it was perfect. It had everything. Nice gameplay, cool and funny voices, decent graphics for its time, cool models, and it started having a story too. Perf!

I never got along well with my brother, but by the gods the only fond memories I have of him are centered around Warcraft. Watching him play WC1. Him teaching me to play WC2. Me playing WC3. Him leaving our abusive home to hide out in internet cafes, and my parents sending me to look for him, and us just staying in there for hours, me watching him play WC3. Fond memories of us getting our two toaster computers hooked up for LAN to play WC over it.

Then WoW came, and my brother first got us an US account - it was impossible to play cross-region back then, our lag was immense, in the thousand of ms on a good day. So then an EU account. First rolled on Sylvanas, one of the biggest servers back then, then on Twisting Nether. I would skip school just so I could play because my toaster wouldn’t run it, only my brother’s computer, so when he was at work I’d be skipping high school playing WoW (I did fine, don’t worry). I invested so much time into my vanilla account it’s surreal. I wouldn’t be shocked if I found out it has more /played than the rest of my life in the game. I met my ex on TN. I still have my vanilla account and characters on EU TN. The relationship with my ex doesn’t matter, it was abusive, toxic, I was a dumb optimist that stayed in it, doesn’t matter. He tried to get me to stop playing WoW. I still remember many instances when he went off on me for seeing me online, it’s 5 years since I broke up with him and like 8 since I stopped playing WoW with him and my heart still skips a beat when I get a whisper or hear the guild member login sound. It was that bad. He sure did his best to make me play the game only with him, “because he didn’t trust me and I would cheat on him through the game” - guys, if any of you are in this boat, please please please, put your foot down or break up. Your interests should be sacred and respected, as should be your entire person. But I digress.

Instead of breaking up, I went the mature route of buying a US license, and playing it while he was at work or I was visiting my parents. I rolled on a RP server for the first time ever, and it was probably the best decision of my life, so, gotta thank my abusive ex for that. I met many wonderful people, have many wonderful things on that account, and another 7 years of wonderful things on my EU account.

Then, the community itself. I hate it. Believe me, I hate the playerbase and fanbase of WoW with a burning passion. But at the same time, I have met amazing, wonderful, intelligent, friendly people I love and respect and wish the best for (if you’re reading this you’re part of this, yes, don’t let your brain trick you into thinking you’re a horrible person lol). This is another fun arc. I started in the cringe culture. OCs are lame, who makes OCs lol. Then I became, I make OCs and cringe culture can die. Same with characters, but it’s different there. Oh, so different.

See, I began by loving the obvious characters - Thrall, Jaina, Sylvanas, Tyrande, Malf, the works. I didn’t even like Garrosh much as his arc was unfolding - between the thing with my ex, quitting Cataclysm, changing regions and restarting, I didn’t really have a chance to dwell into him fully. He became a villain and I was all yeah okay. Iguess.jpg. I even wanted him out of the story at his peak edgelord moments because I liked Anduin more obviously. WoD was something I did not process almost at all because I was high on a cocktail of pain meds and post-partum depression and sleep deprivation. Legion was pointless bullcrap in my eyes on the main story factor, and I sort of enjoyed BFA until the whole Saurfang sucks Sylvanas fucks deal in the writer dept and fandom.

Deciding to finally read the novels I had missed out on, and reading War Crimes, was what propelled me into “hahahahahah these idiots actually acquitted Garrosh of crimes in this book? Are they for fucking real?” and actually realizing the entire arc was a complete mess, BFA is a mess, the writer dept is a mess, and suddenly, I had no footing to stand anymore. A spit in the face, and then it overlapped the Saurfang hErOiC sAcRiFiCe special edition. I sort of had a breakdown and I hid it behind “well Saurfang was hot lol now I don’t have my orc grandpa anymore” but it was deeper than that.

See, when we get into a setting, we have this selfish expectation that it will grow with us. That it will mature with us. Keep up with us. That we will always enjoy this setting, definitely not as starry eyed as we did as children, but that it will always be good. ATLA is a great example. Dragonlance is still good. Star Wars may be hammy and have tons of issues now as an adult, but it’s still good. But Warcraft was my lifeblood for 25 years. And to know that not only it did not grow with me, but it regressed beyond belief, destroyed me in a strange sense. Kind of like losing a friend, a family member. They didn’t just kill Saurfang for me, the setting died with him as far as I’m concerned. Because he was the last bastion of what interested me in it.

I am that weirdo that loves, loves, war movies and books. I devour them. That was part of my downfall, and the writers and fanbase of WoW so often make it feel like it is, somehow, MY FAULT (just like Garrosh getting backstabbed repeatedly was his fault I guess?) It feels like it’s my fault that I care about weird things like the Geneva Conventions, and the Paris Conventions, and so on and so forth. It feels like I’m the idiot for knowing basic military tactics and conventions. It feels like I’m the idiot for wanting WARcraft to, at all, even a little bit, bear any resemblance to real wars, to real military tactics, to genuine war stories with genuinely well written soldiers. In my folly and pride, I forgot it’s first and foremost, a fantasy setting, a simplistic one at that.

It insulted me these guys can’t even google what consists a war crime. It insults me to my core these guys paint the ONE (1) character who goes all “hey maybe.... weird concept but..... maybe not kill kids, or torture prisoners, or kill unarmed soldiers and civilians. Maybe show COMPASSION”, that this guy had to go. It also insults me the only other character who listened to him - Garrosh, yes - was written as the setting’s biggest fucking villain to this day, and it needed some real fucking propaganda and twisting of the OBJECTIVE narrative to get that to pass, and yet it successfully passed by so many, including myself years ago as it unfolded.

At this point, it’s insulting to see the same themes - mentally unstable or hurt people deserve to suffer and die, there is no happiness because happiness and happy endings are for toddlers, we are just edgelords jacking off to our self inserts, world isn’t fair because real world isn’t fair anyway kiddo grow up, and what the fuck is honor even we just make it up no? Also objective facts and lore? Fuck that who cares lmao.

Here’s the deal.

War stories NEED hope. I can handle watching a whole regimen be killed in brutal ways in war, because REAL war stories always leave you SOMETHING at the end that was worth the whole pain. In a REAL war story, perhaps Saurfang would have still committed suicide by proxy in front of everyone, but people around him would have actually then gone and maybe fucking went “you know what he was correct. Let’s write the Geneva Conventions.” In a REAL war story, it would have been handled so much better. And perhaps, in a REAL war story, he would have survived. With so much loss, so much pain, and yet - with HOPE. Hope, for HIMSELF, for the future. Not the generic bullshit hOpE they tried to write into him. yOu CaNt KiLL hOpE....... Yes, you can. You fucking can. By killing off the last fucking character in the setting that cared about actual military honor (not just the buzzword it is in this fandom and setting), the last fucking character that cared about tomorrow, about fighting for a better world. That’s how you kill hope. And in my eyes, they did so damn well.

Because I don’t want to sit around and be insulted for another 25 years that I’m the only idiot who expects tactics, honor, a good outcome, a hopeful ending. Because I have reached the point I hate being in this game only to hear sTrEnGtH aNd hOnOr when it literally means nothing. Because I reached a point I hate watching the double standards they apply to their precious babes while the minor characters get thrown under the bus for way less. Because I reached a point where the fandom trying to go all “but Alex, someone has to set a precedent for a war crime trial!” means jack shit when nobody ELSE has been tried for any war crimes AFTER Garrosh (which would’ve been PEACHY by the fucking way). Because I got to a point Blizzcon gave me goddamn anxiety every time someone IMed me to tell me an announcement, and I got to a point I blacklisted half the tags on tumblr because I walk in to read what my friends have been up to and some damn Discourse makes its way to my dash, only for me to find myself feeling stupid and in the wrong for liking Saurfang. Not even Garrosh, which I would admit is Problematic(tm) but goddamn Saurfang. Leave it to this setting and fandom for making me feel stupid and idiotic and in the wrong for loving the goddamn war movie protagonist.

And at the end of it all, after much debate, I don’t think I will quit the setting. Writers don’t care, about their lore, about their characters, about us. The other fans don’t care who they hurt with their edgy rhetoric, I sure as fuck didn’t when I was younger and dumber myself. I’m sure eventually the wound will close completely and I’ll dissociate again from the story and fanbase and enjoy the gameplay and my very wonderful friends. First step in that, just for me, is to not buy Shadowlands. The xpack after, perhaps, it depends. But just out of spite, I will be that one idiot who has a sub running but doesn’t give a +1 sale on Shadowlands. Just for myself.

Second step...? Who knows.... Who the hell knows what tomorrow will bring... This has indeed hurt worse than anything in my life. I have been going through the stages of grief - jokingly or seriously - since 8.2.5 now (and a whole load of 5 months of pure anger before that processing Garrosh’s arc from an objective standpoint). I cried more over the death of Saurfang (and the setting) than over my ex of 10 years leaving me as a single mom, or over all my other relationships combined. I’m not ashamed to admit that even if it’s cRiNgY. Like I said, it wasn’t just the death of one fictional character, but the death of a setting I loved and grew up with. The final acceptance that there is nothing left for me in the setting that shaped my interests, art, writing, and all that. That my interests have gone too far in other directions - optimism, actual war stories, good stories, being a mature individual, acknowledging mentally ill or divergent characters and not making excuses for author darlings. It’s a weird thing... Like the final acceptance that I have lost what could qualify as a dear friend or family member. While they are still alive and interacting with me daily. Like a breakup. But way worse. It is a pain I wish on noone honestly. But I do hope against hope, like an idiot, that other settings, other writers, future generations of writers, will do better. I know they won’t. But I’ll take my sliver of hope.

And if you read this far, I do genuinely hope the game - this game, any other interests - will keep bringing joy to you. And also, help yourself to a cookie. Thanks <3 I wish you a good day/weekend.

#salt #negativity

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gia2o · 5 years

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Time to get serious

I am getting to a point in my life where I need to regain my independence. I very much have this desire to just start chasing my dreams and start working. And really, not to be conceited in any way shape or form, but I really believe that just by the things I have gone through in my short almost twenty five years of life, in and out of my addiction, I can start building a career just by telling my story. I have been told by many people that I am good at painting the picture and I just have so many stories to tell. I was going to share a story with you guys tonight, and trust, this story is pretty wild, but I kind of have my heart set on doing research on how to get paid all while still doing what I love. I feel like that is something I can be consistent with. Just the amount of time I spend on here,if I spent it towards being able to write and get paid, I could potentially start being able to work from home. As a back up plan. I know it’s almost everyone’s dream to work from home, but I have so many ideas and an endless amount of ideas. I have a very long list of hundreds of topics I can write about in the notes app on my phone. And the topics, just by seeing them, I can think of exactly what I want to say and I really think they are topics that won’t only be fun to read, but will help others. There is an epidemic going on around the whole world right now, and what I have to say is more than relevant. I have been to jail, I have traveled, I have used and sold drugs. I have been in a world of trouble and I have also been in a world of bliss. A world of love and a world of heartbreak. Just like many of you reading this have too. I have so so so so so many messages from some of you telling me things like, “girl, I have been through something similar” or yadda yadda yadda and it is so touching to see those types of things. It reassures me that my posts make others not feel so alone and it sure as hell helps me not feel so alone. I was even thinking about starting a youtube channel. However, before I try that, I want to go ahead and try this first. Turning writing into a career has always been a huge dream of mine and if I could make even a little bit of money doing what I love, it will make me not want to give up. It will make it seem more practical for me to spend my time doing it. Not that I will ever stop writing, but I have heard time and time again: “if you are good at something, don’t do it for free”. And the reason making a youtube channel even crossed my mind is simply because of the generation we are in. People nowadays, addicts or not, are accustomed to instant gratification. I remember waiting for what seemed forever just to get online on dial up. And now, I find myself even I getting frustrated when it takes a few minutes to connect to wifi. I try not to forget “the struggle” but man, we have it made. And because of all of that, I know that despite what category or demographic the people online fit in, they might prefer to click on a youtube video and listen to someone tell a story, as opposed to taking the time to reading an article or a blog. But if others can do it, I believe in my heart, that I can too. And if for whatever reason I don’t succeed, I will forever be upset at myself for not trying. So I wont’ put this off until tomorrow or next week, I am going to start now. This isn’t something I have to prolong. And you guys, this is the first time I just asked my mom if I can use her laptop so that I can properly write and do my thing since mine broke. Because, let’s be honest. Having a computer to work on just feels so much more professional than even attempting to off a phone like I have been for way too long. So here I am, sitting at a desk, for the first time in awhile, typing away like a normal person and not taking forever to write a post this long because I actually have really good typing skills and finally have a keyboard in front of me again to do my thing. I used to get paid to write essays for students because of how quick I used to write them out as well as how legit they would end up turning out. I never got one complaint. I mean, if you’re still reading this, ya girl here literally took every English class my community class had to offer. Which I loved so much and wish there were more to take, but it sucks because now I have so much math to catch up on in order for me to transfer. And math to me, seems so damn impossible. I am not terrible with basic math and numbers and hell, Algebra 1 is my shit. But anything passed Geometry, no fucking thank you. I will do everything I can to find a way around that shit. Not cool. I am by no means a prodigy child or super artsy to be honest. But, English and music are just two things I adore. I have fun investing my time in those two things. And before I end this post, I just want to say, that because English is my second language, I truly believe that ended up helping me in the long wrong. Because I learn how to do this properly. I mean, usually when I am serious about writing something, I proofread it a bunch until I consider it perfect or as close to perfect as possible. There are a lot of times when I am rereading my posts on tumblr and I think I sound a little special... if ya’ll know what I mean. Just because I spelled something that I know how to spell wrong by accident, or if I made a stupid grammar mistake and I try to fix it before it gets any possible likes or reblogs. But on that note, I know this post is hella long, but I am just ranting. Time to do some research and take the first step on chasing one of my many dreams. Lord, I never ask this, but please pray for me. Goodnight, ya’ll.

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scarletxwinter · 5 years

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Okay notice Tumblr change....I’M SORRY I’M LATE ON THIS! THERE SO MUCH STUFF I HAVE TO WRITE.

Anyways you know what time it is! It’s time for my daily...

RANT/CONFESSION

Okay, so if you go to David’s new vid (update: he deleted it) , people are posting these hate comments more so taking her side.

Some are just hate to stop with his vlogs.

But Here I am going to defend my little Slovakian White boy.

So many of you have the audacity to make “negative” comments on how David is more of “using his friends” just for this content.

Apparently, you only watch David’s vlogs and not the whole VS vlogs. Let me first go on David “Using” his friends...

David may be out of line with the whole finding content for his videos. But that does not mean he is forcefully making his friends do dumb shit. Half of the time in their own videos they do dumbshit.

David would honestly not force against their own will to do something they don’t. Yeah some of them tell him no, but they gave him their permission to proceed with the bit.

So we all know David loves blindfolding his friends, but he doesn’t just tell them to lay down and put the blind fold on. In one of Zane’s vlogs, it has to do with him dying his hair back to his normal color, but accidentally died it way too dark. He wanted to see his friends reaction, so he went to see them and David popped his head out of the corner with his camera, asking him.

“Hey Zane can I blindfold you?” And David notice Zane recording and he ask, “Oh are you recording? Can I blindfold you after you’re done with yours?”

Then Zane told him, “Yeah you can just let me record your reaction” or whatever and then you hear David said in full shock, “I can blindfold you?!”

Before there’s any comment saying, “But that’s different. This was mainly a sexual harassment.”

Yeah I know the threesome joke was out of line, but would you honestly think David would actually force Tana to do it. Jason even made jokes about it as well, but yet David is being the one to be blamed. David honestly does make some sexual jokes towards Tana, Corinna and Trisha, but Tana and Corinna just laugh about it, they never cared because they know they’re more “sexually active” themselves. So if those two were actually uncomfortable, they would of told David from they very start of on how they felt. David would actually listen, even if I don’t know him, David would instantly apologize. David is oblivious most times and not reality aware of what he says out loud.

But other than that, Tana and Corinna are fine with his jokes. They are chill and unbothered because all guys are like that 🙄.

Though that does not make him a bad person, he’s human and we all make mistakes. I accidentally roasted my mom by calling her short without even realizing what I said. I even called my friend’s boyfriend a douche in front of her because he actually was and wouldn’t do the audacity to pick-up her calls as she needed to be picked up from the mall when she had no ride. When I message him, he answered saying he was just playing video games -.-. (Still a douche).

Sometimes weird...

Anyways, David doesn’t “treat” his friends just business reason. He loves all his friends even if he doesn’t act like it. David seem to be those types whose very omitted with his feelings. He doesn’t express the cheesiest feelings to his friends, but he does have a heart to buy them the most expensive gifts even when they don’t ask him to. David would go all out and would hate for them to be sad. He does the most for them even if you guys don’t see it, he buys these unnesscary gifts for his friends even when they don’t pay him back. Only by pranking him by setting up some weird shit in his house, or just sneak in for a funny prank. He doesn’t care, or is bothered, but was still appreciated enough to enjoy those pranks his friends gave.

As for Trisha exclaiming how she told him how uncomfortable the jokes were, “Bunch of times”. I felt sorry for her, but we don’t know if she’s really tell him that much behind the camera.

Maybe it’s just me, but when someone makes and exposing video they always need to cry for it. I’m not saying she’s faking it, but I just never believe those type of videos now-a-days to make it more heartfelt. Like I’m really sensitive and fragile, but I can tell when a girl cries, it’s actually really sorrowful.

But I think she could handle this a bit differently, depending how she told him, she could of sat him down face-to-face and actually talk about her feelings and how whatever he’s doing is not cool.

David would respect her and actually stop, so whatever she told him didn’t work the first time. As for the couple times, I’m not sure, but David can be oblivious, so if he actually made the joke on camera. Trisha would of stop him before he can record the next bit, yet she didn’t?

Even Jason makes jokes about it, and yet she was fine with it, until now? Also there were clips on Instagram she pointed out to Jason children and private life (She deleted the video by the time I heard about it)

I’m not saying any of this is her fault, but it just doesn’t add up to what she was saying. I’m just saying that she could of not make this video so she can ruin his reputation. Yet in other videos she makes jokes that wants to hook up with other guys in front Jason, and would do to their dick. There’s literally a clip of her asking David if he wants her to suck his dick?! (Probably post at the end)

Yeah it sounds like a joke, David took it as a joke. But I can tell he feels slightly uncomfortable. I can tell that sometimes Jason does get slightly uncomfortable how Trisha sexualize anybody, including David, but they just laugh it off because it’s a joke. Yet one threesome joke makes her piss and wants to rant an entire video about how David is horrible.

Then when it’s flipped to her, she’s starts to make a big exaggeration about it now when it happen multiple times?

She first cried about how Jason accidentally called her fat. And broke things off with him. I was actually on her side, but Jason shared his part of the story how he didn’t mean to do it. I understand his side because Jason is a nice guy. Yeah he looks trash on vlogs, but he’s really like a fatherly figure and jokes around. Hell this guy believed to himself that he thought David doesn’t think of him as a best friend.

But David said “Yes” on the lie detector when the question was asked, “Is Jason your best friend?” And that was heart felt moment for him. There was even a video on Zane when the VS were talking about Jason, they were joking about how he out his hat sideways. Until David thought Jason heard him and David was really upset of himself that he though Jason hates him now. (The Vlog of Zane has to consist more at the end, with David’s face on the thumbnail, has water eyes). (Will post as well)

Anyways I’m not hating on Trisha because of what she said about David and Jason. She is a human being. Yet she can take some stuff a bit more far dramatic than it needs to be. David did the responsible thing and took down two latest videos he uploaded because too much hate was involve. Also took down the threesome joke for Trisha’s sake. If David was responsible enough to take it down for a friend, she can be a bit more responsible in herself to be a bit mature to sit down with David than make a video about it.

And that really piss me off because David do so much for to have her be apart of his friends group whether she is 30 or hell 98. He took her in because that is his best friend’s girlfriend. Along with the rest of the VS, they all were supportive in Jason to date Trisha, and handle her B.S. most points.

David does not deserve the hate, neither does Trisha. Yeah it sounds like this rant of my opinions is full of hate towards her, but it’s really not. Trisha is a human, so I’m not going to hate her when I don’t even know her. This ain’t our business anyways, I’m just saying how this could handle a bit more if she wouldn’t make a video about it.

#david dobrik #trisha #vlog squad #jason nash #zane hijazi #heath hussar #todd smith #todderic #scotty sire #liza koshy #vlog squad rant #vlog squad confession #vlogs #tana mongeau #rant #confession #fact

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seductresses-temple · 5 years

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Figuring Things Out

So, most people that follow me wouldn’t know this unless they’ve been following my main blog ( @glo-up-goddess) for an absurd amount of time but I actually created my main page when I was in a really dark place. I was spiraling and struggling with depression as I fell deeper and deeper into an abusive relationship. The night I made my main page I was actually at my abuser’s bedside while they were in the hospital for a week and the moment I left just to run home and shower, grab a change of clothes, they had “the other woman” swing by and out the door in the forty minutes I was gone. I turned to Tumblr out of a mixture of insomnia, helplessness, and desperation. Never in my life would I have imagined starting a second blog, a Drarry blog for all my writing, and never would I have suspected that I would grow to meet such lovely people and make such wonderful friends. But I did! As I watch my following continue to grow and far surpass my wildest dreams, I’m filled with so much renewed love for the beautiful, tremendous souls I have encountered within the fandom over the years. So many of you have touched my life both knowingly and unknowingly and I am forever grateful for you all. This story is dedicated to @xx-thedarklord-xx someone whos work has been a great source of joy for me in some incredibly dark times. So, since I know you like Blairon? Raise? Bon? I have no idea what the hell their ship name would be, but I wrote you some Blaise/Ron, Sam, because your work has been really important to me, specifically this past year as I’ve been figuring some things out for myself. So, without further ado:

Figuring Things Out

Pairing: Blaise Zabini/ Ron Weasley, background Drarry, Pansmione, and Linny

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Mildly dubious consent (Ron was drunk when something happened but he did know what he was doing even if he was totally embarrassed by it after the fact because of all the confusing implications. But I still feel like it warrants a warning).

“When Gin first told me her and Harry broke up, well, I hate to admit I was a bit sad, you know? Harry’s like a brother to me and just about the only bloke I thought I could trust my little sister with but sometimes things don’t work out the way you expect it to. Harry ran off with the Ferret and insists he’s people now just because he’s his husband. ‘Mione and I split and clearly Harry gave her way too many ideas ‘cause she goes and marries the scariest witch of her age, yeah, I’m looking at you, Parkinson! But today, I am proud, honored, and delighted to be standing by my sister’s side as she brings the loveliest, most pure-hearted witch into our family,” Ron raised his glass, grinning from ear-to-ear.

“Everyone, please raise your glasses for a toast to Mrs.Ginny and Luna Lovegood!”

The Great Hall burst into a roar of laughter, congratulations, and clinking glasses, and even with his heart with nothing but love for those around him, Ron couldn’t help feeling the nagging loneliness settling over him like a second skin with guilt following after it like a wet blanket. He should be able to stay happy for the entire day. He was happy. His little sister just got married, to the love of her life, and he was happy for her. Honest. But, it didn’t change the fact that as the years went on Ron just felt...left behind.

When Draco and Harry had eloped, that was one thing. They’d left for a Potions Masters conference in France that Draco had to attend and came back as Harry and Draco Malfoy-Potter. It was spur of the moment and easier to keep it out of the press was the excuse they’d given everyone but anyone that knew them knew they were just young, in love, and passionately reckless. They had a small, intimate ceremony among friends to celebrate (and apologize) and lived their life as the first newlyweds in the friend group. It had been fine, even when Ron and Hermione had broken up and Ron was a bachelor for the first time since he was a teenager.

Ron kept telling himself it was for the best which was true. Ron and Hermione had realized their relationship was going nowhere. They still loved each other, of course they did. The two of them had so much history together, that wasn’t going to go away overnight, but they didn’t love each other that way anymore. They noticed it slowly at first, the distance, the ‘going through the motions’ of it all, and then it hit them all at once watching Draco and Harry together, so in love, and building something great. Ron and Hermione had love for each other but they hadn’t been in love for a long time and after a long, difficult talk, they both agreed they needed more and deserved better.

Six months down the line Hermione had her first date with Pansy, on a stupid dare from Draco.

Four years later they were married and beginning the adoption process. Hermione’s version of ‘more’ was a happy wife, a Ministry job where she was making real change, and twin four year old boys that kept her and Pansy more than busy.

Now Ginny and Luna were sailing away into their ‘Happy Ever After.’

It seemed like the only one that couldn’t find their happy ending was Ron.

Needing just a quick reprieve from the festivities, Ron slipped away while his mum and Hermione were both smothering Ginny and Luna with hugs and words of ‘married woman wisdom’ or whatever it was they were doing. He inhaled deeply, stepping out onto the front lawn of Hogwarts and just basking in the familiarity of it all. With Luna being the new Divination professor it just seemed natural to have the wedding at a place that meant so much to everyone in attendance but Ron hadn’t been back at Hogwarts in years. While Hermione had been adamant about attending their ‘8th year,’ Ron decided his time was better spent at the joke shop with George. It started out as a way to keep an eye on his older brother after they’d lost Fred but, over time, Ron learned he had a knack for business. It was working with George that gave him the courage and confidence to open the Fred Weasley Institute, a small wizarding primary school specifically catered to kids like Fred and George who didn’t get on so well with traditional learning but were still bloody fucking brilliant. It was small, but, Ron thought Fred would have been pretty damn proud.

“Ah, lucky, me. I stumble out for a smoke and a breath of fresh air and who do I find but the handsomest Weasley? Course Potter thinks Charlie’s the heartthrob of the family but he married Draco, it’s quite clear he has poor taste in men,” a voice drawled from behind him. Ron didn’t have to look back to know it was Blaise Zabini and he quietly cursed at every deity he could think of in the thirty seconds it took Zabini to stride over to him.

“Zabini,” Ron was pleased his voice cooperated with him just enough to not crack, waver, or squeak. He stuffed his hands in his pockets to keep from doing anything monumentally stupid like he had the last time he’d been alone with the git.

“Back to a last name basis, are we?” Zabini purred, stalking around him slowly like an animal on the prowl until they were face to face, his deep brown eyes shining with an intensity that always seemed to root Ron to wherever he stood.

Ron cleared his throat, trying desperately and failing miserably to pretend that Blaise Zabini hadn’t been making him question his sexuality for the past year. “S’not like we’re friends,” he muttered for lack of anything better to say.

Zabini tsked, smirking down at him “Well true, but still, if a man has had your cock in his mouth at one point or another, you’d think you could do him the decency of calling him by his given name. I sullied a perfectly good pair of trousers getting down on my knees for you at the Leaky that night, Ronald,” Zabini tsked again and all Ron could do was groan, immediately feeling his ears and face go hot.

It had been one time!

So what if Ron still thought about the look in Zabini’s eyes when he’d slid down to his knees and asked him if he was sure. And so what if Ron still sometimes thought about that incredible thing Zabini knew how to do with his tongue. It didn’t matter. It had all been a drunken mistake fueled by a single man’s jealousy after Harry had to leave the Leaky early to take his very drunk husband home. He had been completely sloshed and ranting to Zabini about how everyone was moving on, getting married, and he was single, hadn’t had a date in ages, and hadn’t had sex in Merlin only knew how long...next thing he knew...he was in a bathroom stall having a very serious, very slurred conversation with his subconscious as Zabini made him come so hard he saw stars.

He then proceeded to ignore Zabini’s existence for an entire year.

The only person he ever told was Hermione because Harry did silly things like tell his husband everything and that didn’t work out in Ron’s favor when his husband just happened to be the best friend of the man Ron was trying to avoid! He had no idea why he hadn’t anticipated Zabini being at the wedding. He and Ginny were actually quite good friends nowadays and of course he’d get invited because of Draco and Harry if nothing else. Ron just hadn’t expected him to stroll out to the front lawn in an all black suit that looked perfectly tailored to his body, with his locs swept up into the most perfect bun Ron had ever seen, smelling like sandalwood and tangerines and...Ron groaned again, wishing the ground would swallow him up or the Giant Squid would just reach up and chuck him into the Great Lake.

“I like that other noise you make,” Zabini murmured against Ron’s ear.

Ron hadn’t even realized how close he’d gotten, too caught up in the cataclysmic meltdown going on in his head.

“Well, I should be heading back before the Grand Divas known as Pansy and Draco wonder where I’ve gone off to, but, here,” Zabini slipped something into his breast pocket before placing an oddly chaste kiss to his cheek and sauntering back into the castle as if none of it had happened.

Gobsmacked, Ron reached into his pocket and pulled out a business card. Zabini’s number was written on the front and, turning it over, there was a small message on the back:

When you’ve got it all figured out, give me a ring. -Z

Ron smiled despite himself, slipping the card back into his pocket and heading back into his sisters wedding reception. He had no idea whether he’d call Zabini or not, but, he supposed he was in the process of figuring things out.

#blaise zabini #ronald weasley #blairon #bon #raise?#what the hell would their ship name be?#There is a ship name for Harry x Voldemort #Pottermort #Tomarry #There is a ship name for Snape x Harry #Snarry #This isn't to ship shame anyone #My point is someone needs to put some respect on my bbs Ron and Blaise's names and give them a proper and universally agreed upon ship name #anyway #there is implied drarry #implied pansmione #implied linny #errybody gay #gay af #Blaise subtly dragging Draco is the best thing ever #A flustered Ron Weasley is an extra cute Ron Weasley #Ron is a bisexual mess #He's getting it together tho #or trying to #this was my first time ever writing for Blaise so extensively #or Ron for that matter #I hope it didn't suck #also I wrote this off my phone so don't drag it if theres errors and shit #okay i'm done rambling now #the harry potter fandom is dope

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