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husbandohunter · 3 years

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Moments of Despair #1 [Genshin Impact/Diluc x Reader]

Synopsis: “The man who was on fire and realized it too late.”

(A series of works where the boys deal with the passing of their beloved).

Albedo's despair

Warnings: angst, tragedy, major character death, graphic depictions of violence perhaps

(A/n): Had these ideas for a while after reading @/serensama To Mourn series of another fandom. So much sorrow and feeling I just was inspired to write 😫

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The moment you fell lifeless in Diluc's arms, he wanted to disappear.

It was raining again, he had always despised the rain. How it trickles down the slope of your cheek, like tears falling from the heavens. The sight of it mixing with your blood creating a thin stream of red rivers flowing beside him. They patter down obnoxiously because time didn't care, the gods don't care, the world didn't care. You were just a small fragile person to their eyes but to him you were his light. A candle that used to shine in his dark world was now dissipitated by the waters of reality.

Many droplets have passed and he was still holding you. Diluc could do nothing but stare. He hadn't shed any tears nor could he make a coherent sound. Perhaps it was because his tears have long run out when his father was held in the very same way. Or it was because he was heartless. He's usually told for being cold and indifferent. But the pain clenching in his chest was proof that he still had one (proof that it was still beating), much to his dismay. It would be better if he didn't.

So why can't he just look away? Your wounds, your bruised features, everything now etched so deep into the back of his conciousness that is was starting to awaken his worst nightmares. They were the source of the bile growing in his stomach. The irony stench filling up his nostrils felt so sickening. He couldn't turn away. You're dead. You're dead. You're dead. As if reality had yet to register, or maybe he refused to accept it, Diluc helplessly gazed down your body with blank and empty eyes.

"Master Diluc..."

Jean's voice called out to him pitifully. He rises up with his back turned, ignoring the stares given to him, "Leave. The knights of favonius are not needed here."

"But she's a Mondstadt citizen," The anemo user retorts, slightly taken aback by his impassive reaction, "It's my responsibility to ensure this case doesn't go unnoticed."

Unnoticed. Diluc scoffs in his mind, what a tasteless joke.

"It seems you weren't listening," he announces as his head was turned ajar so they could see the deep hatred glowing red in his eyes, "Leave. Now."

Jean's lips trembled before barely being able to say, "Alright" and retreating her knights back to the city. Kaeya narrows his gaze at his bother, the sorrow was evident through his pupils. He steps forward until he was arms length away from his brother. Too little too late, another failure was added to the belt.

Kaeya was a man of many words but for once he was at loss of what to say. No underhanded suggestions, no ideas taunting him to spill his thoughts, he simply asks Diluc, "What are you planning to do now?"

Silence. Kaeya couldn't predict what sort of expression his brother was making as he looks at your corpse. It brought a heavy weight of unsettlement upon him and here he thought he had already grown used to his brother's quietness.

Slowly, he turns around while letting the water pour down his face. Kaeya tightens his jaw as Diluc drags his feet towards him, stopping when their shoulders were parallel, "It's none of your concern."

"You're just going to leave her here?"

There was a slight pause which was enough of an answer. The Cavalry Captain sighs when he watched him walk away, what was the point of asking when Kaeya knew Diluc so well? He glances at your form before swiftly shutting his eyes.

It was his concern.

-------

A week later, the staff of the Ragnvindr household could hardly recognize their Master's appearance. They knew not to bother him when he decides to lock himself in his chambers. Diluc drowns himself with work from hours to no end as he connects the findings of the person that took your life. As expected, it was one of his enemies- a fatui member. The question was, which one?

"Master Diluc, I beg of you, please take care of yourself," Elzer pleads.

The pyro user didn't bother to spare him a glance or look at the tray of food he carried.

Food...you always brought them whenever he had to work overtime.

"I do not remember specifiying anyone to be allowed in my office," he voices aloud, "If it's related to business affairs simply leave that with Adelinde and I'll take a look at it tomorrow."

"I understand. But you've been working all day and night yet refusing to take any breaks in between. At this rate, you'll harm your health."

The feather pen in his grip kept dragging it's course, "This is beyond the duties assigned to you Elzer."

"That's because it was a request sent by your father," he adds, knowing that stepping over his boundaries may cost him, "If Master Crepus was still here, I'm sure he would have said the same thing."

Taking a deep breath, Elzer lays out his last card, "And also your wife."

The pen slows into a halt.

No one had brought you up until now. Elzer anxiously watches his Master shifting in his seat, his red bangs covering half of his face but he could still see the frown pressing firmly on his lips. It wouldn't be a surprise if Diluc suddenly bursted at him for mentioning such a sensitive topic, all that matters was his master's well being and Elzer was willing to risk everything for it. But nothing. Diluc turns his attention ever so slightly at the tray he carried.

"Fine, but I'm not eating that."

"What? Wasn't this was her favourite-"

"Do I need to repeat myself?"

Elzer furrows his brows before sighing, "...No, Master Diluc."

He exits the room while carrying the fresh dish of Once Upon A Mondstadt that you loved so much. The door closes with a soft click and he was alone again.

People found it strange how Diluc seemed so vacant to your passing. He didn't even show up at your funeral. Instead, he continues his duties as a Mondstadt nobleman like usual while taking care of business matters associated with the winery. Except those who were close to him could see the difference in his actions. Apathy, he was so mechanical in every task he did. Like a marionette attatched on strings, a doll without a soul. After all, his soul died the moment when yours did too. What remains was a shadow of Diluc and a being existing solely for revenge and duty. He was nothing but a remnant.

Fatigue begins to wash over him and he fights to stay awake. Because once he gives in it will all be over. Once he closes his eyes, he would see your face with a multitude of images from the past. He would hear your voice calling out his name from a distant space as it echoes off the walls of his mind. He would fall into a dream where you were still with him and as always, waking up to see that it was never real.

I should have pushed you away.

Because what hurt Diluc the most wasn't that you were gone, rather, it was how you were still here.

Then you'd still be-

Something breaks and it turned out to be the pen he was holding so tightly. Only now Diluc realized how fast his heart was thrumming as beads of sweat began rolling down his forehead. Focus. Don't waste time. He won't grant himself the liberty of anything when your murderer was still on the run. Every wound they inflicted on you was going to be returned in tenfold. He'll make sure of it. That's why, he refuses to think about you at all. Diluc occupies his mind with other matters since at this point, work was the only efficient method of keeping his sanity in tact.

She needs you to focus.

The door opens and Kaeya enters the room while holding a document, "We found the guy."

His reaction was immediate, "Where?"

"Hm, now that we meet, it's actually quite debateable," The captain notes wryly, "When was the last time you've gotten proper rest?"

"I don't have time for this, either you tell me or I'll do it by force."

Kaeya couldn't help but sigh, "Apologies but you don't seem to be in any state for a fight. I'm sure you know how it would end up if you were to face your enemy right now."

"..."

"Diluc, this isn't healthy," Kaeya asserts, it's been a while since he sounded so sincere, "I'm not here to prevent you from doing what's necessary however, perhaps it would be better if I finished it in your stead."

"No," Diluc stubbornly answers, "Hand that over."

"...Heh, then there's really nothing I can do to stop you it seems," he whispers with a sad smile, "At the very least, be careful."

"I intend to," The pyro user snatches the paper parchment out of Kaeya's hands before opening the window, "Also, if Elzer returns, tell him there's a few errands I have to take care of."

The night was a full moon and the sky was empty, Diluc leaps off the edge and disappears into the darkness. There was no telling of what could happen next. Since you weren't here, it was up to Kaeya to watch over him.

-------

The claymore dropped to the ground with a clang as it soaks up the blood of the fatui he just killed.

Diluc was tired, so tired.

He slumps down against the wall from pure exhaustion, all that adrenaline and hatred went up in fumes, leaving behind whatever was left in his heart: nothing. Two hours, not even that far from Mondstadt, the fatui hid in an abandoned building as he cowarded for his life. When Diluc arrived, he never expected this monster to be so weak. This was the person who murdered you? A pathetic nobody that was simply following orders? This was the reason why he lost you forever?

In the end, the only one to blame was himself, for being weak and unable to protect you. He was supposed to be your hero ("Darknight hero," you'd always tease), the rock that shields you just as you had been the warmth he longed for many years, did he give you enough? Was this enough? He thought avenging your death would grant him a peace of mind and the justice you deserved but deep down, he knew it will never be enough when it comes to his love for you.

"Diluc."

He closes his eyes, he hears your voice. He was so tired, it wouldn't be a surprise if he started hallucinating.

"Diluc."

"I'm sorry..."

The man lets out a trembled breath as he apologized to the image of you in his mind. I'm sorry I failed you. They were repeated like a mantra in hopes to reach you somehow. Of course that was impossible, his feelings, his emotions, love and sorrow altogether will never reach you again. And your arms that once comforted him and brushed his hair with a soothing voice, saying everything will be okay, where are they now?

"Diluc."

"Stop," he didn't want to hear your voice.

"Diluc, I'm here."

"Stop..."

"Diluc..."

He jolts his eyes open and lets out a yell, what was he saying? He doesn't know. All he needed now was to drown out the fake voices mocking in his head. Diluc grabs the nearest object and shatters it against the floor, the dam was broken and it flooded uncontrollably, breaking everything in it's way. The abandoned house was filled with loud cries of a man sobbing with agony like a broken-hearted child. He crumbles to his knees and falls to his side, lifting his forearms while clutching his face.

And screamed.

Archons, what did he do to deserve this? Why do the people he cherish get taken away from him? Diluc never wanted to be the Darknight hero if it meant having his father perish in his arms. He didn't want the feeling of stabs against his chest with every breath he took. He didn't want to feel cold while knowing it was because you weren't here to hold him. He didn't want your voice, your pictures or your memory.

He wanted you.

"(Y/n)..." he chokes. Rolling to his back, Diluc moves his arms to cover his eyes, letting the tears run down to his ears, "(Y/n)..."

For who knows how long, he lays there in the abandoned building and mourns. Diluc doesn't have the strength to move from his position, he found himself staring mindlessly through the cracks of the roof when his voice had gone hoarse. The corners of his eyes still burned and his head was throbbing with so much pain. Maybe he should just stay here but the thought of being in the same room as your murderer was unfathomable.

Picking up his claymore once again, Diluc drags himself out of the door. Where would he go? It's not like he had a home to return to because home was when he was with you. A doll without a soul, the marionette moves as if the strings have commanded him to do so. Where ever it takes him, he didn't care. He just knew he had to go.

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1kook · 4 years

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hulu & woohoo

summary: But there’s more important matters to attend to than Jungkook’s Jersey Shore boner. warnings: slight feelings of insecurity, smut; fingering, cunnilingus, cum eating, squirting, handjobs, unprotected, riding, slight praise kink misc: if you’re not a Jersey shore fan honestly GET OUT, mentions of capitalism😡, more kind/understanding kook, basically a “what are we?” fic but silly, irresponsible emailing habits, its so dumb just read wc: 6.3k

[ this is a sequel to netflix & chill !! ]

started off silly then I was like 😳what if we sprinkled in a dilemma™️😳 anyway here’s the kook i imagined for this fic <3

Contrary to popular belief, Jungkook does in fact have his own paid subscription to Netflix. He doesn’t ride on his family account anymore, nor does he swindle his friends into sharing their passwords ‘just once.’ Just like everything else about his mature persona, Jungkook is adamant on paying those ten and something dollars for the streaming platform.

However, his fall into capitalism doesn’t end there.

Among other things, Jungkook also pays for Hulu, Amazon Prime, Disney Plus, HBO, as well as a couple indie stuff you’ve never heard of in all your years. He’s a bigger nerd than you originally thought, with an incessant need to watch every single piece of media available.

Frankly, you don’t see the need to own so many different streaming services, especially not when pirating websites exist and you could so easily watch Jersey Shore for free, if you’re not too concerned with infecting your laptop with every software virus known to humankind. Luckily for you, your app developer boo with his—admittedly tiny—knowledge in computers can iron out those issues for you.

It’s moments like these, Jungkook fiddling with the internal system settings of your laptop to the best of his abilities, that you find yourself grateful for having met Jungkook, and even if it’s been a little over two months now and he still hasn’t popped the question (“Will you be my girlfriend?”), you’d still kiss him silly.

He sighs for the umpteenth time, rubbing his eyes as he stares at the same system warning on the screen. “Babe, just pay the six bucks for Hulu and you can watch all the Jersey Shore episodes you want,” he says, leaning back in his chair as he stares at you from across the dining table.

You scoff, almost scandalized by his suggestion. “You think I have the resources to hand over six bucks every month?” You abandon your homework in front of you, the one you had so dutifully been working on before your computer was flooded with about a thousand Hot Moms in YOUR Area! notifications before abruptly shutting down. “Buddy, that's lunch at Starbucks.”

Jungkook clicks around a few more times, round glasses sliding down his nose which he will occasionally scrunch up to save from falling. “First of all, lunch at Starbucks sounds sad,” he retorts, and you kick his shin from beneath the table. He doesn’t even flinch, the damn muscle bunny, instead leveling you with an unimpressed glare. “Second of all, I told you I’d give you my passwords but you said—“

“No!” You exclaim.

Call it what you want, but that rose-tinted image of Jungkook being a saint in this world, too sweet and naive for his own good, never faded. Your brain saw it that night of your first date and ran with it, never mind the fact he was quite the devious scoundrel, gentlemanly perception be damned the way he’d tug at your skirts and your hair in public like you were on the playground, always teasing, always playing with you, so discreetly no one would ever see it coming from him, of all people. Your brain saw all that too, the little childish streak he’d get sometimes, but your heart stomped it out, wrapped up in the image of Jungkook being your golden boy, and you couldn’t possibly take advantage of such an angel’s kindness to mooch off his streaming services.

From across the table, Jungkook gives you a pointed look, as if he knows you’re trapped in that brain of yours again. Unlike you, Jungkook was easily able to pick apart your true personality, and the way the devil on your shoulder spoke more often than not. He knew you were prone to outrageous schemes and evil villain monologues, and he still kept you around. Let you linger around his home in his big shirts and eat his healthy breakfasts with him. Jungkook liked you, as silly and mean as you were, and he was very obvious about it.

“The password—“

“Is none of my business,” you halt him with a tone of finality in your voice, gesturing for him to slide the beat up laptop back over. Jungkook sighs, runs a hand over his face like you’ve worn him out, but relents.

Taking it with a triumphant grin, you settle back into your seat, nudge his foot with yours beneath the table. Jungkook nudges you back, the adorable fuzzy socks he was wearing making you giggle, a sound that finally brings a smile to his face. “Y’know…” he says, “if you’re gonna be the Disney villain you claim to be, you might as well just take all my passwords.”

Rolling your eyes, you focus your attention back on copying some notes for class, falling back into the rhythm of glancing at the screen and back at your notebook. “You’re cute,” you mindlessly hum, taking great pleasure in the rosy hue that rises to his cheeks, one he tries to hide by coughing into his elbow. You set your pencil down, watch him squirm under your gaze like he always does, blushy and shy like he hadn’t had you twisted like a pretzel beneath him an hour ago. “Don’t worry about it,” you tell him, reaching over to place your hand over his, where it’s idly tapping over some textbook he’s got out. Immediately, he turns it over, squeezes your palm in his. “I don’t mind getting thirty two viruses an hour.”

The reluctant worry in his gaze remains, sweet puppy eyes flickering over you as if trying to catch a hint of a lie. He was so adorable, you could kiss him silly. Finally, Jungkook gives in, though he does so with a lot of effort; letting you fool around on pirating websites truly was the bane of his existence. “Just bring it to me if it breaks down again, okay?” He settles, and you nod.

To your surprise, he brings your hand up and presses a kiss to the back of your knuckles, holds your gaze like he absolutely adores you.

He was so handsome, so caring, and so blatantly not yours.

—

“Not heading to your boyfriend's house today?” Doyeon asks the second she steps into your shared dorm, fighting with the boots on her feet. In the last two months of knowing Jungkook (everybody say thank you, Kim Namjoon), it’s become rare to see you home for more than two nights in a row. Jungkook was irresistible in more ways than you could count. If you weren’t falling into bed with him, you were smothering his cute face on the couch, or hovering behind him in the kitchen.

“Not my boyfriend,” you deny, huffy, and she knows how you feel about the subject, which is why she only prods more.

“Wow,” Doyeon drawls, glancing over your shoulder where you’ve got Jersey Shore playing on one half of the screen, an essay document on the other. “The man you see every other night, who looks and fucks like a god, who buys you a shit ton of presents, and treats you like you’re his world… is not your boyfriend?”

On screen, the toxic couple of the century is engaged in another screaming match, the reality tv show quickly spiraling as dramatic music takes over the speakers.

You scratch the back of your head. “Yeah. Well.”

Doyeon almost combusts at your response, flinging herself onto her twin bed in disgust. “He is a fool, a court jester if you will,” she seethes. “You're the hottest babe in a fifteen mile radius chasing after him and he still hasn’t asked you?”

Deciding you can’t comfortably watch the toxicity on screen with Doyeon talking so loudly, you slam down on the spacebar to pause the show. The fickity website, set out to ruin you since you first discovered it a few weeks ago, crashes. It takes your half-assed essay with it as the whole computer suddenly blacks out. You sigh.

“And on top of that,” she’s still going, “you’re hot and evil. Like bro. Come on.”

“Yes, I’m sure every man dreams of getting with an evil seductress,” you sarcastically reply, reaching for your phone to text Jungkook for help, when you suddenly remember why exactly you’re not with him right now. He’d gone to Busan to visit his family this weekend, a quick trip, he’d told you with his tongue down your throat. You shiver at the memory.

You still really want to watch Jersey Shore, though. Almost desperately. It’d been a long time since you watched it, and you honestly forgot the pivotal role that and a bunch of other reality shows had played in shaping you into the conniving woman you were today.

Doyeon seems about done with her tirade against Jeon Jungkook, dramatically storming into the en-suite bathroom you share with your neighbors.

Tapping your phone against your lip, you carefully consider your options. You could just boot your laptop back up, pray for the best and move on. But the 240p episodes were doing a number on your eyes, and for a moment you considered handing over those six bucks to pay for a Hulu membership.

It’s short-lived, and eventually you settle on calling Jungkook.

He answers on the fourth ring, and wherever he is is insanely loud. There’s voices shouting, lots of bustling, until eventually a door closes and Jungkook’s silky voice oozes through the speaker. “Baby? What’s up?”

“Hi,” you respond, feel something disgustingly sweet settle in your chest. “Is this a bad time?” You ask tentatively.

Jungkook laughs, low and raspy. “No,” he tells you, and you hear the smile in his voice. “Never a bad time for you.”

You could lunge through the screen right now, rain kisses down on his face until he’s giggling, telling you it’s too much. The feeling in your chest tightens, and you almost blurt out something embarrassingly cheesy, but a voice in the background calls for him, and Jungkook’s voice responds, “In a sec, mom. I’m talking to a friend right now.”

The glass roof shatters.

Even though you’d just told Doyeon you two weren’t a thing, despite all the coupley things you did, something about Jungkook telling his mom you’re just a friend isn't right. You frown, listen as his mother, a voice just as delicate as his, asks him to grab something from inside. With each second that ticks by, the discomfort you feel grows tenfold, until you’re barely holding yourself together.

Eventually, Jungkook returns. “So what’s up?” He asks again, and you remember what you initially called for. Putting on your big girl pants, you brush your uncalled for insecurities to the side, making sure he can’t detect anything in your tone.

“Your Hulu password. Can I have it?” You say, realize how robotical your voice sounds and belatedly throw in a, “please.”

Jungkook laughs, loud and boyish. The sound almost makes you melt, makes you fall for him even more. The niggling doubt in the back of your head still rings, but it’s temporarily washed away by the man on the phone. “Finally giving in?” He chuckles, doesn’t give you time to respond. “Sure, babe. I’ll text you the login stuff.” You hum, twirl your pencil idly as Jungkook announces he has to go, something about his family waiting on him. You bid him adieu, send him a halfhearted kiss over the phone, and only hope he feels half as content as you do when he does the same for you.

You don’t want to be dramatic about it. In your heart of hearts, you know Jungkook is just more reserved when it comes to dating. He wants to be one hundred percent sure your heart is in the same game as his, tied to the same rules, and putting in the same effort. But there’s a seed of insecurity that plants itself in the back of your head, tells you the reason Jungkook hasn’t asked you out is simply because you’re not good enough.

Jungkook was as rich as they come—not in money, but in personality. (Well, with the way he was advancing through his career, you get the sense he’ll be rich rich in the next few years too.) He had a huge heart, so caring and supportive of those around him, and an even bigger moral compass—hence the ridiculous amounts of streaming services he paid for—and you strongly believed no one was worthy of standing beside someone as wonderful as him.

Sadly, that meant you too.

Jungkook was your dream lover, and with every passing day, you were beginning to think you weren’t his. It had been two months since your first date, and realistically speaking, you know it’s not weird for people to casually date for such a time. It hadn’t been that long, truthfully, but the way you and Jungkook had clicked made it seem so.

He treated you like a queen, pleased your heart and body like no other. None of what Doyeon said earlier was a fib—he picked you up from school in that classy Benz, let you stay the night and sleep in his clothes, ate you out in the morning like you were his breakfast. You acted like you were in a relationship, but what exactly were the two of you?

Were Jungkook’s feelings even at the same level as yours?

Some days, you couldn’t fathom the idea of being so far away from him, texting him incessantly to feel a semblance of his presence. There was always a metaphorical elephant sitting on your chest, the weight of your unlabeled relationship, your insecurities, waiting for him to finally cut you off, decide you’re not what he wants. You wonder sometimes if he sees you out of convenience, but you always remind yourself Jungkook was too emotional and soft to drag someone around like that. (Or was he?)

Realizing how deep you’ve fallen into your spiraling pit of uncertainty, you shake yourself of those thoughts, mindlessly typing in the Hulu login credentials Jungkook texts you.

—

You’re in the student center when Jungkook comes home, laptop and books spread out over a circle table to stop anyone else from coming up to you. You’ve got your headphones in, the background sounds of late 2000’s club music from a Jersey Shore episode drifting through your ears.

A hand suddenly grabs onto your shoulder, and you send nearly half the table’s contents onto the floor when you screech, leg blindly kicking the table. “Woah, woah,” Jungkook calms, pulling out an earbud for you, and the sight of his face makes you relax again, before you’re striking his chest.

“Don’t ever scare me like that again,” you warn, shooting daggers at him as he pulls a chair close to you, plopping down beside you. Jungkook laughs, kisses your temple.

“You doing okay, beautiful?” He inquires, and your heartbeat, which had only just begun to settle from your fright, lurches at the hooded gaze he sends you.

You nod, unconsciously lean closer to him. Jungkook smiles, cheeks pulled tight when you plant a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Glad to hear it,” he says, wrapping an arm around your shoulders to keep you close.

You never thought you’d be one of those people. Y’know, the couple shoving PDA down everyone’s throats in a very crowded place. But you can’t help it with Jungkook, gaze honed in on the mole beneath his lip as he recounts his trip to his family’s place. His hair is fluffy again, parted a little to the side to show his forehead. He’s got that big dark hoodie on, the one you love. Your love-addled brain thinks, I could give you a family, but you quickly shut that thought down.

There was no need to think as much for a man who wasn’t even your boyfriend.

Before you can spiral, there’s a set of fingers brushing over your neck, almost casually. You return your attention to Jungkook, watch him leisurely gaze over the bustling students around you. “Missed you,” he says quietly, like he doesn’t want anyone to hear. Hell, if your eyes hadn’t been trained on his face, you don’t think you would’ve.

Finally, he glances back at you. He says nothing, his eyes dipping down to your mouth. He leans forward, presses a smooch to your lips, only to smile at you afterward. “Come over?”

The difference between you and Jungkook is that you were very obviously, outwardly evil. You were not embarrassed to admit you were scheming, or that you had ulterior motives behind doing something. You used what you had to your advantage, mastered all types of expressions to get what you wanted.

Jungkook, on the other hand, was a subtle schemer. In fact, he was so goddamn subtle, you doubt he even knew he was a schemer.

But he definitely was one, and your experiences with him were enough to convince you so. There were times he’d stare at you longingly, like a puppy, until you’d do something for him. Times he’d use his demure face to lure you into going to the hardware store for him, into watching some boring documentary with him. Times, like now, where his voice was a little too smooth and low to be considered his normal pitch, clouded gaze sweeping over your features until you understood what he meant by come over.

Numbly, you nod, watch the quirk of his lips as he kisses you once more before gathering your things for you.

The car ride passes by in a flash, Jungkook’s hand on your knee, your head in the clouds. You imagine how easy it would be to just lean over right here, tug him out of his sweats and get that super suck 5000 on him. But Jungkook’s shy, the devil on your shoulder croons, he’d like it better in the backseat, where no one can see.

Your bag hasn’t even touched the floor yet when he pushes you against the door of his house, shoes and coats half off as he envelopes your lips with his.

His hands are warm, cupping your neck to guide you through the kiss, blindly pulling you down the hall. You feel him falter by the stairs, torn between just throwing you on the couch and ravishing you there or making the trip upstairs to the comfort of his bed. You reach up, run your fingers through his hair. “Wherever you want, baby,” you reassure him, and become consumed with glee when his hands grab into the backs of your thighs, hitch you into his arms as he rushes the two of you up the stairs.

The bed is as fluffy as you remember it, and you bounce up towards the pillows after he drops you on the end. He tugs his shirt over his head, chocolate strands coming out a mess afterwards, before crawling up your body. Jungkook’s hands are incessant, grabbing onto every inch of you he possibly can. He kisses up your tummy, pushing your shirt up as he goes, hikes it over the swell of your breasts to gently fondle them in his palms.

When he’s just about suffocated himself between them, he pops back out, catches your gaze with a twinkle in his. “Hi,” you squeak, and Jungkook grins, leaning up to kiss you.

“Hi, pretty girl,” he returns, let’s your tongue slide into his mouth, sucks on the appendage teasingly. You whimper, and Jungkook releases. “You miss me?” He asks, and if you hadn’t been well-versed in the art of Jungkook’s sexy talk, you wouldn’t have noticed the tingle of nervousness that curls around the question.

You placate him, “always.”

It’s all Jungkook needs as he wiggles you out of your clothes, shucks them off somewhere to the side. His hands trail over your body, massage your breasts and pinch the nipples. You sigh, melt into the sheets as he runs his palms over you. He rolls you over, pulls your hips up and carefully pushes your face into the mattress, pushing your hair to the side to peck your neck when he leans over.

“So soft for me, sweetheart,” he purrs, hands slithering around your waist, down your abdomen until the tip of his pointer finger is idly swirling over your clit.

You whine, clutch the comforter beneath you at the touch. “Oh, fuck,” you groan, push your hips back against him. He’s still got his sweats on, and you want desperately to turn around and rip them off of him, feel the press of his cock against your ass.

As if sensing your urgency, Jungkook calms you with kisses trailing over your spine, hot breath fanning over your neck. His fingers slow, just barely grazing over your clit. “Did you touch yourself while I was gone?” He asks, and you struggle to choke out a response when he presses his finger down against you.

“No,” you eventually gasp, jolt when his hand reaches down, glides through the swollen folds of your cunt.

As if content with your response, Jungkook lets his fingers caress you for a few beats, laps against the side of your neck as you whimper, beg him to continue. When he does, it’s with no ounce of his usual gentle attitude, two fingers shoving forcefully past the tight clench of your pussy lips, deep into your cunt. You shudder, gasping into the sheets.

“Good girl,” Jungkook praises, flutters a kiss right below your ear. Your neurons are working overtime, unsure of what to do as he explores your cunt, fingers dragging against your walls. You want to close your eyes, bask in his touches, but every brush of his fingers has them rolling back, fluttering open. “This pussy is mine, isn’t it?”

His fingers curl, briefly brushing over your soft spot. But it’s enough to make you cry out, pant against the sheets. “Yours,” you choke, push back against him like he’ll do it again.

A thumb circles your clit, and the tight feeling in your belly snaps, has you crying out his name as your first orgasm in a few days washes over you. “Jungkook,” you whimper, nearly sob when his hands pull away, letting you flop down onto the mattress in a boneless heap. Your thighs feel sticky, and you watch blearily as Jungkook hovers behind you.

“So quickly?” He chuckles, turning you back over. He spreads your legs, exposing your pussy to the cool air of the room, and you shiver. A lone finger drags over your cunt, collecting the glossy substance on the tip, before Jungkook is sucking it into his mouth.

He had an affinity for this kind of stuff, you’ve learned. Like he genuinely thought your cum was the most delicious thing in the entire world. That being said, you’re not surprised when he ducks down, pushes your legs to your chest as he begins devouring your pussy.

“Slow down,” you gasp, hand curling in his hair as he spares you not, sensitivity be damned. He was gonna lick you clean. He groans, tongue shoved into your cunt, cute nose brushing against your clit. “Kook,” you warn, though it’s more of a shuddered cry. “I-I’ll come again.”

He pulls off with a wet smack, licks over his tongue as he narrows you with a daring glare. Gone was your sweet Jungkook, replaced with this cum-eating heathen who only purrs, “in my mouth” at your warning.

You scream when the second orgasm hits you, pushing his face against your cunt as his tongue continues, lapping at your folds and your hole as a gush of wetness spurts out of you. For a second, your vision pales, soundless cries caught in your throat as you come all over his face. When you touch down on earth again, your body feels featherlight.

Jungkook is watching you from between your thighs, his face, hair, and chest glistening. “Oh fuck,” he gasps, shit-eating grin slowly consuming his features. “Did you just.”

You groan, cover your face with your palms as Jungkook settles over you, beaming excitedly at your newest ability. “No,” you whine, pushing him away from where he’s basically glued to your cheek. “That’s so weird.”

He laughs, cute and airy. “Fuck, sweetheart, you squirted all over me,” he sighs, cuddles against you, and you wrap your arms around him only to hide your face in his shoulder, also glistening with your pleasure. He shifts closer, and the hard press of his cock rubs along the inside of your thigh.

“Can we take a break?” You murmur quietly, hesitantly. “I can’t feel my legs.” Jungkook nods, presses a kiss to your temple as he gets off the bed, tossing his t-shirt over to you. He stumbles towards the en-suite, comes back with a dry face and chest; his hair is still damp. He tugs the sheets out from under you, cuddles close. He’s got the two of you wrapped up in no time, your head cradled against his shoulder as he reaches out blindly for the tablet he keeps on the side of his bed, the Hulu app already open.

“Any requests?” He hums, scrolling through the multitude of movies and shows. You wiggle closer, stop his finger when he returns to the home page, and Jersey Shore is the first thing to appear. “You’re kidding.”

“It’s a good show!” You defend, click on it before he can argue. You press closer, throw a leg over his waist where you can feel his still rock hard member hiding beneath his sweats. Poor guy, you think, he must be suffering. But you have to rest for a moment if you wanna ride the shit out of him and knock him breathless like you’d planned.

Jungkook doesn’t comment on the erection he’s sporting, instead choosing to criticize everything wrong with Jersey Shore. You’re not surprised. He’s an avid film nerd, obsessed with ‘real’ storylines, not whatever reality tv shows were.

You’ve seen this episode about a hundred times, so you don’t really mind that he completely ruins it for you with his nitpicking. It’s cute, listening to him ramble about television integrity while you listen to the subtle thudding of his heart beneath your ear.

He’s on his fifth slandering of DJ Pauly D when you decide you’ve had enough, muscles in your legs feeling rejuvenated as you wiggle into his lap, toss the tablet off to the side as you straddle him. “That show makes you hard?” You tease, let your sensitive folds settle over the bulge in his pants.

Jungkook combusts, cheeks flushing at your jab. “No,” he huffs, “my pretty girlfriend’s boobs pressed up against me does.”

You short circuit.

“Huh?” You blurt dumbly. Jungkook rolls his eyes, too concerned with guiding your hips over his crotch to realize you’re having a complete meltdown in your head. An airy moan leaves his mouth, head lolling back against the pillows, when he moves you just right, grinds against you perfectly. But there’s more important matters to attend to than Jungkook’s Jersey Shore boner. “Kook,” you say, cup his face in your palms to force him to look you in the eye.

Jungkook huffs, pointedly looking down at where you sit on him, “babe, gonna need you to—“

“What did you say?” You interrogate, press your foreheads together until he has no choice but to look at you.

Annoyed with your act, he groans. “Babe, your hips,” he urges, almost desperately.

“No,” you retort, “not until you say it again.”

“Say what again?” He cries, lips twitching in irritation, and you’re about two seconds from behind shoved into the mattress, pounded into from behind like he’d done the last time you teased him a little too much.

“That I’m your girlfriend!” You exclaim, heart hammering in your ears.

Jungkook seems to finally halt at that. “Oh,” he responds, leaning back to scan over your expression. “You are?” He says, unsure of what point you’re trying to make.

Your brain fizzes at the news. “Since when?” You cry, suddenly feeling dumb for all the time you spent moping over this perfect boy you thought didn’t want you. “You never asked!”

Jungkook levels you with an unimpressed stare, reaches over for the iPad you tossed to the side, some dramatic fight scene on a boardwalk taking place on screen. You wanna scream. Why is he so concerned with Jersey Shore now of all times?

Before you can rain down your displeasure on him, he’s turning it around and showing you a bookmarked email.

It’s from you, apparently, sent a few weeks back at exactly two in the morning. You glance at the date received. It’s from Doyeon’s half birthday, when the two of you had drunk yourselves silly on wine. The title is some mix of dashes and exclamation points, but that’s irrelevant when the contents of the email come to view, some stupid slur of beeee myyy boyfrienderdd????? ;))((;;; that has your jaw dropping in mortification.

You glance back at Jungkook, who seems just as confused as you. “What the hell?” You shriek, snatch the tablet from his hand to see that not only was it a single email, but a thread of emails all asking the same question—there’s even a three stanza sonnet detailing your love for the mole on the side of his neck. You could die. “Why didn’t you tell me about this?! I was so drunk— how could you even take me seriously?”

Jungkook shrugs, almost amused now as he watches you scroll through the twenty emails you sent him. “The next day you told me you really liked me over lunch, so I didn’t mind. Besides, drunk words are sober thoughts, y’know.”

You stare in disbelief. “You told your mom I was your friend,” you whisper.

The blood rises to his cheeks quickly. “Babe,” he sputters. “I’m not exactly introducing her to every girl I date after three weeks.”

It makes sense, and you hate how much it does so. Pursing your lips, you look away, focus on the bedside table and hope he doesn’t see the tears that threaten to spew out of your eyes. He does, he always does. “Hey, what’s wrong?” He hums, sits up to pull you into his arms. One hand brushes over the back of your head, gently. Softly. “Did that upset you?”

You shake your head no, can’t help the ugly Kim Kardashian sob that rips itself from your throat. “I thought you didn’t like me,” you sniffle, covering your face with the iPad when he tries to duck closer and get a look at you. “Because it’s been two months.”

Jungkook shushes you, hugs you close to his chest as you cry like a baby over some apparently unjustifiable doubts. “That big brain of yours,” he sighs, kisses the frown of your head. “Too busy being evil to be logical.” You whine in protest, and Jungkook chuckles, carefully laying back with you clinging to his chest.

He lets you cry it out, palms rubbing over your back, listens to the annoying Jersey Shore opening song playing when the episode ends. When you’re done, you sit up, try to pretend your eyes aren’t swollen and puffy. Jungkook smiles. “All good?”

You might love him.

“I’m gonna ride you,” you announce, and he chokes in surprise, and before he can try to convince you it’s okay, you’re wrestling his sweats and boxers off, taking his half hard cock into your hand. Jungkook flounders, tries to calm you down, but you’re on a mission, working your hand over him until he’s fattening in your hold, melting into the pillows.

“Baby,” he grunts, rolling his hips into your palm. You lean over, pucker your lips and let a thick drop of saliva fall onto the tip of his cock. It trickles over your fingers, makes it easier to run your hands over him. Jungkook groans, reaches down to cup his hand over yours, urging you to squeeze tighter.

When he’s finally as hard as you want him, tip engorged and angry, you sit up, place your palms on his chest as you scoot over him. Jungkook watches you with dark eyes, skin flushed as you line him up. His hands reach for your hips to steady you, tiny gasps falling from his lips at the first prod against your folds. You’re wet from watching him squirm beneath you, from feeling the heavy weight of his cock in your hand, and you hope he feels how much he excites you.

“That’s it,” he croons as you slowly sink down on him, whimpers catching in your throat from the stretch. “That’s my girl.”

Jungkook is purposeful with his words, smiles at you when the muscles in your thighs jolt at the term. When you’re seated to the hilt, folds brushing against his pelvis, Jungkook ruts experimentally. “Fuck,” he chokes breathlessly.

You let your body adjust, spine tingling with every subtle shift from the man beneath you, still so sensitive from your two orgasms from before. Jungkook waits, even though you know all he wants to do right now is fuck up into you like a madman.

When you’re relaxed enough, you begin to move, pushing yourself on your knees slowly, hissing at the drag of his cock against your folds. “F-Fuck,” you whimper, fingernails scratching against where you’ve got them on his chest still. Jungkook grips your hips tightly, and you unconsciously reach for his forearms to steady yourself instead.

“There you go,” he purrs as you slowly pick up the pace, cock sliding inside of you rougher, faster. You know it’s mostly him, muscles in his arms flexing as he moves you up and down, but you don’t care—it feels so good, the upward curve of his cock brushing against your soft spot with each drop of your hips.

He holds you down on one thrust, grinds you over his cock until your clit is rubbing against him roughly, and you cry out his name. You want to kiss him, so very badly, but your position makes it hard. Besides, the sweat beginning to pool in the deep of his collarbones hinted at his oncoming orgasm.

Still, you can’t help the way your eyes instinctively go to trace over his mouth, pouty lips pushed out even more in exertion, teeth grinding together every time your pussy swallows him anew. “Kook,” you mewl, hips bucking forward.

He hums, plants his feet firmly on the mattress as he begins fucking into you. “What is it?” He grunts, pistons into your dripping cunt as you whimper, pleasure crawling up and down your spine. “My pretty girl needs something?”

You wail, nod your head as he continues fucking, ramming his cock into your quivering hole, precum dripping over him. “Yours,” you gasp, mind stuck on what he’d said earlier. “‘M all yours,” you sob, body finally giving out, and you barely catch yourself from falling into him with a palm pressed flatly against his chest.

Jungkook smirks, bucks into you brutally, like he wants you to fall into a boneless heap on top of him. “Yeah, you are,” he groans, as you finally give in, lips brushing against his ear when you flop down on him. “My pretty girl,” he huffs, and you nod, muscles pulled taut as your orgasm begins looming over you. “So cute and mean,” he rambles, lips pressed to your temple. His hips are beginning to lose their rhythm, thrusts growing stilted as he chases his high. “But you know what?” He murmurs, and you whimper. “I like her just like that.”

If his words don’t knock the air out of your lungs, your orgasm surely does. It makes you shudder, the way his hands run over your body, cock ruts into your heat, and you almost cry when the pleasure gets a hold of you. Your muscles tighten, and then loosen, melting into his chest. You’re trembling in his arms, like a leaf holding onto a branch for dear life, choked gasps of his name muffled against his neck.

Jungkook pistons into you, rounds the final corner in his race to orgasm, and eventually spurts his hot cum into you, coats your walls as another reminder that you’re his. He’s a silent orgasmer, sounds catching in his throat as his body twitches beneath you, silent even afterwards as he regains his senses.

A few moments later, you’re shifting out of his hold, pushing yourself onto your elbows to glance down at him. Jungkook’s eyes are shut, but, as if sensing you’re looking at him, he flutters them open, chocolate irises softening at the sight of you.

“Holy shit,” he groans, rolls you off of him carefully. His hand brushes over your thigh, like he’s contemplating licking you clean again, but you stop him with a pointed raise of your brows. “Fine. Pass me the tablet.”

You do, and it’s almost unnerving how easily the two of you slip back into comfort, Jungkook changing into some shorts and handing you your discarded panties, before climbing into bed to watch Jersey Shore. You’ve missed about an entire hour-long episode, so you end up rewinding until the point you last saw.

“You and your Netflix and chilling,” Jungkook snorts, head nestled against your breasts. You roll your eyes.

“This is Hulu,” you point out.

“Oh yeah,” he hums, snuggles closer. His body feels so nice and warm over yours, hands wrapped around you like a lifeline. You end up positioning the tablet off by your hip, supported by a pillow so the two of you can watch properly.

You’re still processing your new title, your new boyfriend, when he perks his head up suddenly, solemn gaze catching yours.

“Hulu and Woohoo,” he says, ever so seriously, and you understand why Doyeon thinks he’s a fool.

[ part three ; imax & climax ]

#goldenclosetnet #ksmutclub #networkbangtan #jungkook smut #jeon jungkook smut #jjk smut #jungkook fic #jeon jungkook fic #mine

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catboyshinsou · 3 years

Text

nightmares

pairing: shinsou x gn!reader

warnings: graphic descriptions of a nightmare, blood, death, panic attacks ?, kitty nickname, pro hero shinsou (sfw)

summary: you just moved in with shinsou but somehow nightmares have been plaguing you. one night you have the worst one yet

a/n: ty for 200 followers!! <33

Shinsou didn't sleep much. There was too much on his brain for him to waste precious time on sleep, there was too much to do, too much to think about. He knew it wasn't the healthiest thing to do but it's not like he deprived himself of sleep, his body just didn't let him and there wasn't much he could do about it. As an active Pro Hero there were just some sacrifices to be made for the job and if sleep loss was one of them then so be it.

You, on the other hand, managed to maintain a quite healthy sleeping schedule next to him. At least you tried to get continuous six hours of sleep every night, even if that still wasn't nearly enough for an average human being. But what could you do, there was a lot to do and not enough time to do it.

For some reason, Shinsou worried about you not sleeping enough. You chuckled when he brought it up to you at breakfast when you moved in with him.

“I don't think you're one to speak, Hitoshi.”

“Are you saying me not sleeping is something to not be worried about?”

You rolled your eyes and drank your tea. “I get enough sleep, don't worry about it okay?”

The dark circles under your eyes rivaled his, earning a frown from your boyfriend. He didn't like seeing you tired. He never has. Even though you were always tired, according to you, he could tell when your sleep quality was declining.

“Have you been having nightmares again?”

His purple eyes met yours as he swirled the coffee in his mug. Rain hit against the window and you heard the trees rustling in the wind.

Waking up in cold sweat, panting and almost crying before rushing to the bathroom to shock your system with cold water. It was a picture and feeling you knew too well. Nightmares and terrors did indeed haunt you like a little girl haunted a house. You've tried everything to ease them; medication, meditation, yoga, asmr, everything and still you had one at least once a week.

With the move into Shinsou’s apartment (because he was almost always working and wanted to see you more and his place was closer to your workplace anyway), it didn't really get better either even though his arms afterwards were always comforting. It felt more like symptomatic help not like you were finding a cause to make it stop though.

You took a deep breath. Was there a point in lying when he'd find out soon enough that you laid in bed almost scared to fall asleep when he was on night patrol because he wouldn't be there to calm you down if you did have one? Well, was it lying since you in theory didn’t currently have any nightmares?

“You know that no answer is an answer as well, kitty...” His low and soft voice crept up your neck as he put his arms around you. In the moments you were contemplating how much lying made sense, he'd finished his coffee and made his way to you for a lazy hug from behind.

He smelt nice, his slightly damp hair against your cheek as he rested his head on your shoulder. The purple tuffs tickled you as he got comfortable in the crook of your neck. You put his arms over his, on your tummy and took another breath.

“So you haven't been sleeping at all then?”

The only time you've been feeling comfortable and safe was when Hitoshi came home at 4 in the morning, slipped out his hero gear and got into bed with you. You, always pretending to be sleeping so he didn't worry, just waited for his whispered “goodnight kitty, i love you” as he put his arms around you for three or four more hours of sleep with you. Only then could you close your eyes and let yourself sink into your feared REM phase.

“You worry too much for me, 'Toshi…” With an exhausted sigh you leaned back, your head on his shoulder behind you. You traced circles on his forearm, feeling his goosebumps as you did.

“I'd be a crap hero if I cared for the general public but not for my love at home, wouldn't I?” He placed a kiss on your temple. “So?”

“I've been sleeping fine.”

“Y/n.” He stretched the last part of your name, his voice vibrating up your neck.

“You're free for the weekend right?”

Shinsou sighed at your attempt of changing subjects, not having enough energy to insist on you telling the truth. He hummed in response.

He had a two day break from hero work or at least from patrolling and going in. There was a ton of paperwork sitting on his desk for him, as well as 50 unread emails he had to get to. But he didn't complain. At least you were there to keep him company while you did your thing.

The two of you finished up breakfast and started into your day of free time which was actually just work in disguise.

Before you knew it, the day had passed and both of you laid in bed together, attempting to sleep. Well, you did. It was already well past midnight, everything around you quiet except for Shinsou who hummed a tune next to you and tapped on his keyboard.

He had his laptop on his lap, answering some more emails and scheduling their sending for 7am while making sure you knew he was there. You could feel his warmth under the blanket but the auditory reassurance helped.

You were on your tummy, facing away from you while hugging your pillow since your actual boyfriend wasn't up for cuddles right now. With closed eyes, you rolled over to face him.

“Hitoshi, go to sleep”, you said in a drowsy voice, half asleep yourself. “You can send the emails when you wake up…”

Shinsou just gave you a quick chuckle before kissing your head. “I'll be done in a minute, kitty. I just need a few more and then I’m all yours, I promise.”

His humming continued and he put his hand on your back, stroking it up and down until you were completely asleep. Your breaths got deeper and you moved around less, making your boyfriend smile.

It felt as if he had just gotten a toddler to sleep after watching a superhero movie, even if you had not been staying awake because you were restless but because you refused to go to bed if he wasn't in it. He had promised you that he would come to bed as soon as he could but both of you were stubborn. It was just a staring contest until Shinsou got up and carried his laptop to the bedroom with you pulling him at his hand.

Now, you laid next to him in peaceful manner, breathing, recharging.

"Toshi?”

You ran down the staircase, struggling with the heavy doors that separated each floor.

“Hitoshi?”

It never seemed to end, doors after doors after doors after doors. It was just doors going on. Heavy metal doors, painted white with cheap paint. It still smelled like paint in some of the staircases.

Your hands started slipping off the handles, sweat covering them like a thick layer of honey. You could hear a faint voice behind this even heavier door, needing your whole strength to open it up.

The clear sweat on your hands started staining the handle red. You pulled them back and stared at the blood covering your palms before looking back up and seeing Shinsou bloodied up in front of you.

He was panting, his face swollen and bruised and his hands tied behind his back. On his knees, he fell towards you with his capture weapon now a bright red instead of the usual dirty white.

“OH MY GOD, HITOSHI?”

You pushed him back to find the source of the flood, opening his hero suit and trying to untie his hands before he spat out blood all over you.

“You'll be fine okay? Everything is gonna be okay, you just need to stay awake and I'll find where you're bleeding from and it's gonna be fine, you can't leave me okay?”

A waterfall of words left you as you laid him on his back and examined his body. He just laughed and stared at the ceiling, his usually bright purple eyes now dull and almost grey.

You located his wound at his tummy right above the belly button, splurging out blood with his heavy breath. There was a faint whistle whenever he exhaled, you examined his chest and could feel a clearly broken rib.

Oh god, you weren't any type of medical care practitioner, what were you supposed to do?? Think, think, think…

“Kitty…” Shinsou put his cold hand on your tear stained cheeks.

“Shhh, don't talk okay??? I just need a second to figure things out, you'll be fine just- just stay awake okay??”

A hoarse chuckle left him. “Sorry for staining your white shirt… I know you always complain about how it never properly washes…”

He faded away, the cold of his hands on your cheeks leaving you last before you were met by a blinding light.

“Hi-hitoshi??? HITOSHI???”

You looked around. There was a field of red roses around you, the bloodstains gone from the scene of a few seconds ago. It smelt metallic.

There was a sticky feeling beneath your shoes. Something told you to not look down. Not avert your eyes from the endless field of roses in front of you. But you were stubborn and never learned out of your mistakes.

You were met with a puddle of blood, Shinsou’s dead body at your feet along with your close friends and family. They surrounded you, eyes open and skin drained of any blood. The roses dripped with their blood, dancing in the wind.

You tried screaming but the only thing that left you was silence, a dreadful high pitched beep in the distance. The tears fell like you did to your knees to touch your loved ones for the last time.

A deep breath forced you awake, eyes fluttering open as you checked your surroundings. You gripped your bedsheets, hoping to find Shinsou next to you but the space was empty and cold.

The tears started falling as you got on your feet and tumbled towards the bathroom.

It was only a dream right? Not a flashback or a future forecast, right? Your quirk didn't have anything to do with looking into the future or past, so it couldn't be, it couldn't be…

“Hi-hi-hitoshi??” With a weak voice, you called out as you doused the nape of your neck with cold water, your head in the sink in a position that was more than just uncomfortable.

Your mind was too foggy to remember who it was that advised you to “shock” your system with cold water but whoever it was saved your life more than once. The tears kept falling as you lost feeling in your neck from the overbearing cold water.

“Please just stop, I can't take it anymore…” You sobbed into the sink as you turned off the water.

Heavy footsteps came your way. You sank onto the floor and hugged your knees, feeling the salty tears dripping onto them.

Shinsou lowered down next to you. With more than concern on his face he cupped your face and forced you to look at him. You could only sniffle as he spoke, his words only grazing you. You barely heard him, only saw his mouth move and his head nod.

“I.. can’t... hear… you…” You sniffled between every word, struggling to get air properly. Your body didn't allow you to take a proper breath, only shallow breaths leaving your chest.

It wasn't like your ears suddenly stopped working. You could hear the dripping of the water in the sink and cat pawing at the bathroom window to be let in. But somehow your brain had a hard time processing what Shinsou was saying, somehow translating it to gibberish.

Shinsou watched you, looking at his face and trying your best to stop crying. His thumb caressed your cheek as he tried figuring out what to do. It's been a while since you had a snap out this bad. Last time he used his quirk to make you realise that the dream wasn't real while also calmly easing your body into relaxation. Though he tried keeping his quirk usage on you to a minimum to avoid any type of complications.

Instead he took your hand in his and pressed it as tight as he could without actually hurting you. Sudden pain was one of the easiest ways to snap your body out of panic, physically and mentally. It reminded the body to snap out of it while telling the person that they were indeed real.

“It's over kitty okay?” He kept his tone low and as calm as possible. Even if you couldn't hear him, his tranquility would help you relax as well or at least not stir you up more. “I'm here and you're here. It was only a dream, you're okay now.”

He pressed your hand to his heart. “You feel that? That's my heartbeat, I'm here with you. It was just a dream…”

You focused on your boyfriend and his warm hand around yours. Your breaths got deeper and deeper, Shinsou breathing with you until the tears stopped.

“Hey, see that wasn't so hard was it?” Shinsou smiled, a small sigh of relief leaving him.

Almost immediately, you flung your arms around him and just took him in. He was real. Not dead or a hallucination. He was here and had his arms around you while rubbing your back.

Shinsou had only left the bed for 5 minutes to finish up his emails and put away his laptop. You had been asleep for a while, he was sure that you wouldn't notice his absence so he just got up and finished up his work. Next thing he knew, there was water running in the bathroom and some stuff falling from the shelves.

“You were dying… dead…” You mumbled into his shoulder, eyes still wet. “I couldn't help you and-”

Tears soaked his shirt as you recalled the nightmare. Your tummy turned inside out when you thought back at the grotesque imagery.

“It's okay now. I'm not dead, right?”

“N-no…”

“Can we go back to bed or do you wanna stay awake a little longer?”

It was around 2am now. Even if neither of you had to call in for work in the morning, Hitoshi still wanted to get you to sleep as fast as possible so you could recover from that horrible nightmare.

“Are you gonna be in bed too?”

“I'm all yours…”

You nodded and got on your feet before wiping away the tears. Shinsou followed and patted your back as you washed your face. He liked keeping his hand around you just to put your mind at ease. Around your waist, in your shoulder, in yours… Anywhere just so you knew he was there.

Both of you laid together, you on his chest with his hands on your back. You heard his heartbeat and felt his chest rise and fall. Your arms were wrapped around him and gripped onto him tight.

“Sleep now okay? I'm not going anywhere…”

The drowsiness kicked back in and you closed your eyes, struggling to keep them that way whenever graphic scenes came up again.

“I'm scared…”

“That's okay… Nightmares are scary but they can't do you any harm… And even if they can, I'm here to protect you okay?” Almost like a whisper, he breathed the words into your ear and kissed your forehead. “I'll be here for you all night long until you wake up again…”

You took a quick breath and closed your eyes again. “Can you hum?”

“Of course…”

Maybe it was quirk related, maybe it was just you but Shinsou’s humming always had a relaxing effect on you. He had quite the singing voice actually, though he rarely ever used it outside of home. But any type of music that left him worked like a natural relaxer on you. Combined with his back rubs and temple kisses, your eyes stayed shut and you drifted back into sleep. This time without staircases, roses or blood.

#bnha shinso hitoshi #bnha x reader #bnha imagines #bnha writing #bnha fluff #shinsou x you #mha shinsou #shinsou hitoshi #shinsou x reader #shinsou x y/n #shinsou fluff #nightmare comfort

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exquisitley-obsessed · 3 years

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Fiancés, Firebirds, Foxes and Fawns: 3

Author: @exquisitley-obsessed

Summary: A few weeks after Briallyn's attempt at uniting with Koschei, Lucien opens the door of Lockhart Manor to find Elain, cold from the rain and holding a note from the High Lady of the Night Court demanding her to assist Lucien in building alliances with the human councils. Forced to work together by their exhausted High Lord and Lady, Elain is able to convince anyone to do anything, while Lucien has the acquaintances to go anywhere he likes. Together, they attempt to unite the fae and mortal lands and unravel the deal made between Koschei and Vassa, while Lucien remains haunted by his own promise to Elain's father. ELUCIEN, POST-ACOSF

Pairings: Elain x Lucien, Elucien

Warnings: None.

A/N: This is going to be a long, slow burn fic (hopefully)

MY MASTERLIST

THIS FIC’S MASTERLIST

AO3

Chapter Four: Playing House

“Who could be calling this time of night?” Vassa rose from her chair, her skirts flowing to the floor.

“Trouble?” Lucien shrugged.

“We can only hope,” Jurian grinned, leaping to his feet with newfound excitement.

“I sent the maids to bed,” Vassa moved to peer out a window where she should’ve had a clear view of the porch, but nothing could be seen through the black rain, “Should I wake the house for guests?”

“We don’t know if it’s a guest, might be something more fun,” Jurian was still grinning wolfishly, now bouncing from one foot to the other, “So…who’s going to open the door?” Both man and male turned to look at Vassa who only scoffed in response.

“Ugh - why me?”

“You’re the queen, princess.”

“How are you going to call me queen and princess in the same sentence?”

“It’s an oxymoron.”

“Oxymoronic more like.”

“Oh Mother, I’m surrounded by children,” Lucien groaned, running his hands over his face.

“The only children in this room are you two. Afraid of answering a door for Cauldrons-sake,” she huffed as she waltzed into the foyer, embellished with russet wood and crimson carpets, Lucien and Jurian on her tail like puppies.

She’d just reached the towering oak doors when something whipped her around, pulling her by her outstretched hand. Turning, Vassa came face to face with Lucien whose eyes were stony with determination.

“I think not,” was all he said, his other hand resting on his belt where his silver sword of Autumn was permanently strapped.

“Why?” Vassa huffed, feeling her heartbeat quicken in response to the intensity of Lucien’s gaze.

“You’re insane if you think I’m going to let a queen open the door to an unexpected guest in the middle of the night, in the middle of a storm, whilst unarmed and being tracked by a Death God.”

Vassa’s wide eyes just drank him in, before looking down at where his hand was wrapped around her wrist. He dropped it instantaneously, as though she had burned him.

“So he does have balls,” Jurian cooed from behind them, but to Vassa, he was long forgotten.

“Fine,” Vassa took a step towards the Fae Lord, allowing her voice to drop a few octaves as she refused to break eye contact, “Go ahead.” She just about purred before turning and walking back to wait at the base of the stairs, missing the confused look on Lucien’s face as he turned to the door.

He should’ve been able to smell whoever was on the otherwise of the door, as well as the Belladonna’s which sat in clay pots on either side of the entrance. But all Lucien was getting, was the smothering dew of the rain, wet overturned earth and the neither-here-nor-there scent of furious winds. He could however hear a soft murmur of voices, from the pitch, female, before a second, shy knock beat on the wooden door. Two heartbeats, and that was it, all the information he could glean given the storm and inches of brick which separated him and his ‘guests’.

With his hand on the door’s iron handle, Lucien’s body felt alive and electric, like a drawn bow ready to fire. There was something in the air, a moment of calm before the storm. Without dwelling on it any longer, Lucien rose to is full height, one of his greatest assets even against other Fae, and yanked the door open.

“Hello?” A small, quiet voice. A voice that haunted his dreams.

***

Touch her. No, don’t touch her. She doesn’t want to be touched. But it is normal for people to touch, people touch all the time, a hand on a shoulder is no affront. Just touch her. But you have no reason to touch her.

That’s what Elain smelt like, or something similar, he supposed.

At first all Lucien could see of Elain was her big eyes, peeking over her purple cloak like beacons. But he’d recognise those eyes everywhere, sometimes it felt as though they were in his room, watching him. She seemed to still as he caught her eye, him standing in the warm orange light of the house, her shrouded in darkness and mystery.

In response to the cold and the rain, Elain’s cheeks had flushed a healthy rose. Her eyes were wide, and Lucien could see how the water had darkened and elongated her lashes. If Elain were this beautiful when she was fae, Lucien couldn’t comprehend how magnificent she must’ve looked like a human. Surely there had been suitor after suitor, clawing for a minute of her time, or even a handkerchief or a pearl. Anything of hers to prove to themselves that such beauty was possible – that she was somehow real.

It wasn’t until Lucien had stuttered a meek ‘come in’ when he noticed the second bundle of a person over Elain’s shoulder. When they came into the light of the foyer, Lucien had recognised her as one of the shadow wraith’s that often accompanied Elain in the Night Court. Which one, he could not tell, but she was lesser fae, and lesser fae were always welcome in his home.

Lucien was sure he was in a state of shock, his ears were ringing faintly as Elain entered a polite discussion with Jurian who was smiling enough for the both of them. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from her, convinced that if he even blinked for too long then she’d disappear, back to the Night Court.

Lucien stood lamely to the side, his posture rigid. Vassa remained at the base of the stairs, whatever her countenance was to Elain’s arrival, he didn’t care for it. As Jurian chatted, Elain had pulled back her hood to reveal her hair of deep gold, soaked entirely, as though she had just arisen from a bath. Lucien dug his nails into his palm.

She was so beautiful, and it hurt to wonder how the Cauldron had ever, at any point of time, believed him worthy of being considered a perfect equal to such a creature.

“Ah, might this be the letter?” Lucien forced himself to tune into the conversation.

“Yes,” Elain’s gentle voice washed over him, lapping across his skin and like magic, it began to soothe him. “From the High Lady of the Night Court. I am to be staying with you for some time it seems, an extra hand to deal with the councils. If that would be alright?” Her voice, unlike Jurian’s or Vassa’s, was consistently soft, and in a strange way, it gave her an aura of power. As though she need not speak too loudly or rush her words, as she knew the world would be listening anyway.

“Ah,” Jurian plucked the sopping note from Elain’s palm, and though he really didn’t care, Lucien watched with intent at how Jurian avoided touching any part of Elain’s skin. Instead, he grabbed the letter’s corner and held it out as it dribbled rainwater across the red and gold carpet.

“Oh, um,” Elain seemed to flush, “I promise you it was a note from Feyre. The lettering might be a bit…illegible.”

“I think we can take your word, Ms Archeron.”

“Elain, please,” she whispered politely with a small curtsey that clearly came naturally. Lucien was so taken aback by Elain that he barely had time to recognise that Jurian was putting on a big show of good behaviour for his mate. If Elain had been anyone else, and if Lucien had been back in the Spring Court manor wearing his fox mask, he would’ve winked and told Elain that she was pretty enough to go where she pleased since kings would most likely fall to her feet anyway, but he just bit his tongue and cocked his head.

He needed to say something to her, he needed to be able to look into those eyes. What was she really doing here? Had Feyre truly sanctioned this? She’d said High Lady, not High Lord. Why had she come in the middle of the night? Why was she here, why was she really here?

“Let me take that for you,” was all he ended up saying, looking from Elain to her cloak then back to her eyes.

Some part of him hated seeing Elain in damp clothes with her hair dripping. It reminded him too much of the first time he’d seen her, as his mate, after she’d just been through the most traumatic experience of her life. He wished nothing more than to wrap her up into his arms and send wave after wave of warmth through her to dry her clothes, to make sure she was never cold and shivering again.

Elain seemed to stare at him for a moment, and Lucien wondered if she could possibly be just as taken aback by him as he was of her. How many of these moments, these little pauses between words, were genuine? And how much of it was the drive of the bond?

“Thank you,” She whispered, her hands reaching up to undo the clasp at her neck. As she did so, Lucien adverted his eyes. Something about seeing Elain remove an item of clothing, even a sopping cloak, felt too much like an invasion of privacy. And then she was holding her cloak out to him, and he just nodded at her, allowing his lips to turn up at the corners as he took the damp material, making sure not to accidentally touch her bare hands.

Behind Elain, the twin appeared to cock her head and glare at him, her message clear – ‘and what about me, huh?’ Lucien ignored her as he folded the cloak over his arm and took a step back towards the wall.

“Well, welcome to Lockhart Manor, Ms Archeron,” Vassa then announced herself as she strode forth from the base of the stairs, her posture stiff and elegant. This wasn’t Vassa speaking. This was a queen. “We have spare rooms in abundance which you’re more than welcome to settle into, since the maids are asleep right now please allow me to take you to your quarters.”

“Oh, um, thank you,” Elain nodded and smiled politely, a faint flush spreading on her cheeks, one that threatened to bring Lucien to his knees.

“No luggage, or are you not staying long?” Vassa inquired innocently enough, and had Lucien tore his eyes away from Elain for just a moment, he would’ve seen the slight glint in the queen’s eye.

“My sister will winnow me my bags tomorrow morning. You see, it was paramount we left the Night Court at a certain time. Unfortunately, this was our best window for travelling, but Feyre insisted you would be awake given…” given Vassa’s curse, her inability to see sunlight with human eyes.

“Are you in danger?” Lucien couldn’t bite his tongue as something began to rise within him – Terror? Anger? Worry? Elain’s big eyes drifted back to his, and once more she seemed to pause before speaking.

“No,” she breathed. Her voice was just a petal in the wind. “At least, only in danger of Nesta finding out I’m missing.”

“You didn’t tell her you were coming here?” If Lucien wasn’t mistaken, that might just be a slightly mischievous glint alight in Elain’s eye. The idea of Elain deceiving her viper of a sister to come across the world to stay with him, seemed far too good to be real, and Lucien couldn’t stop the small grin that pulled at his lips.

“Well, you must be tired after such a journey.” Lucien wished Vassa hadn’t spoken because it pulled Elain’s gaze from his. Lucien also suspected that little travelling had been done since Elain’s companion was a shadow wraith, and able to travel the world via the shades. “Please, let me show you to your room.”

Lucien hated to see her go, as she politely curtseyed to the queen before following her up the stairs and disappearing down a corridor which led to the western wings. It was only when she was, in fact, out of sight, that Lucien felt the reality of her presence collide with him like a pile of bricks.

Suddenly, he was breathing too quickly, no, too slowly. His body was overheating, and his heart was racing. All around him swirled her scent and every cell in his body was screaming at him to follow her up the stairs, to keep her in sight and never let her leave it. Keep her warm, keep her safe.

“Careful Luce,” Jurian’s voice called him back to reality, and he found Jurian peering at him with that god-damn, shit-eating, all-knowing grin, “She’s going to want that back,” was all he said as he nodded at the sopping cloak Lucien had clutched against his abdomen. The rainwater soaking through his linens, and making him shiver.

***

“You say your sister sent you?” Vassa was leading Elain and Nuala down a series of hallways. Elain liked the manor, one she would’ve adored when she was human. There was a crimson carpet that bled across the entire house, embellished with threads of sparkling gold. Deep brown wood covered the walls in panels, and there were candles here, not faelight, which cast the hallways in a warm, watery glow. It felt so familiar, in such a painful way.

“I wanted to be of some use to my sister following Briallyn, she thought I could be of use in working with the human councils given I…well, I…”

“Used to be human?” The queen’s voice was slightly monotonous, almost sounding as though she were somewhat bored, that these things happened all the time.

“Yes,” Elain nodded furiously. She’d been so caught up in the idea of seeing Lucien again that she’d practically forgotten Jurian and Vassa.

“Well, after a good night’s rest you might be able to catch me before sunrise and we can discuss where you’d be most useful.”

“Yes, thank you…what kind of work is there?”

“Meetings with councils and human lords, establishing positive relations between fae and humans which, considering humans were enslaved to the fae a few hundred years ago, isn’t the easiest relationship to manage. There’s also work to be done regarding the human armies, and not to mention the other human queens. We could also use with someone prepared to travel to establish trade routes between the mortal lands and the Spring Court, though, really all of this pales in comparison to cleaning up the mess Briallyn left behind.”

Elain blew out a breath. There was so much going on in the world, in the mortal lands alone, and her family had hidden it all from her. Or had they hidden her from the world? It didn’t matter, she was here now, and she was prepared to make herself as useful as possible.

“Where can I find you, to talk tomorrow morning?”

“I’ll most likely be in the dining room, taking breakfast with Lucien and Jurian.” The Queen swung a hard left and Elain stumbled slightly as she tried to follow.

“Okay…thank you, for everything.” Elain put on her best smile, but the queen wasn’t looking at her.

“You were quite sick the last time I saw you,” was all the queen said in response, and Elain felt as though ice had been poured down the back of her dress.

“Yes, I was,” Elain said quietly, her eyes meeting those of Nuala’s for a fleeting moment. God, where was her room?

“You’re better now?”

“Yes,” Elain practically whispered, not interested in being reminded of those torturous months post-Cauldron. Especially when, technically, she was still in them.

“Good,” Vassa said, and Elain couldn’t read her tone, but then, “Here are your quarters, Jurian’s rooms are just down the hall. If you wish to find me, or Lucien,” she paused slightly, “Then you can find our rooms in the East wing. Just ask a passing maid and they’ll lead you to us.”

Something ugly reared its head inside Elain as Vassa referred to her and Lucien as an ‘us’. And if Elain wasn’t mistaken, judging by the glint in Vassa’s eye, the language had been intentional. But Elain knew this game, knew how to play a courtier, how to manipulate a crowd with a smile.

Interesting, some part of Elain perked up. Maybe she’d gotten herself into more than she was expecting by coming to Lockhart Manor. Or maybe, it was a really, really good thing she’d come at all.

“Thank you,” was all Elain said, letting nothing pass her courtly smile. “For everything.”

***

Nuala had her own room but had stayed with Elain for a while after Vassa’s departure, perhaps reading the slight tension in the Acheron’s shoulders as she perched herself at her room’s vanity. If Elain was rational, then she would be obsessing over Vassa, of what she said and the look in her eye as she spoke. She would try and unfurl the dynamic she was to expect at breakfast tomorrow, when the world was still dark.

But she was thinking of him.

Lucien was different here, and Elain realised that she’d never seen him out of the Night Court. In fact, all at once the chaste meetings they’d had thus far seemed entirely, hilariously inadequate.

He was otherworldly, something about him seemed more fae than the others, even the Illyrian’s with their beautiful wings. Lucien was fire and light in form. His hair, no mortal could even imagine hair like that. In fact, Elain was convinced that even Feyre couldn’t capture it’s essence in her paintings. It was ever-changing, always moving and shifting colours in the light, almost as though it were alive. When she’d first seen him in the Night Court it had been a paler, autumnal orange with what seemed to be streaked with glittering gold. But here, by the candlelight of Lockhart manor, it was the red of rust and blood.

His skin was made of tan plains that rose and fell over the contours of his body in a way that reminded Elain of the deserts she’d seen drawn in adventure books. And then there was his impossible height, taller than everyone, including those back at the Night Court, only beating Cassian by an inch. He had a presence in a room like no other, he demanded intrigue and interest, with his mismatched eyes and brutal scar.

Maybe Elain had only been so nervous of Lucien because of that reason. Because she was used to seeing men who appeared to have not quite come into their bodies, their chins loose with excess skin, their hair wiry and coarse. And Lucien…Lucien looked as though he’d had hundreds of years to hone his body. Tall and sharp, standing with a poise that reminded Elain of a blade. His eyes alert and always moving, and a mouth that quirked to the side, as though there was always some dirty joke resting on the tip of his tongue.

Guilt moved through Elain in a wave. First, guilt over Graysen, then guilt over Azriel. Both men whom she’d also found to be beautiful, in their own ways. The innocence of Graysen, which in hindsight, proved to be a hilarious interpretation. The mystery of Azriel, the way that even when she was convinced he wanted her, she was never entirely sure.

Perhaps it wasn’t guilt that washed through Elain, but rather dread. Because here she was, again, and all she could hear was her mother’s voice echoing in her mind – Foolish girl. Foolish, foolish girl. Her mother would tell her that she never learns.

Or maybe she wouldn’t. She’d only admitted to herself that Lucien was attractive, his eyes searing, looking every bit of the fae prince as he swung open the door, backlit by gold and red light. And the bond was supposed to make her find him attractive, right? She could consult the book she’d brought later. Because that was the problem – what was real and what was the bond? Did Lucien truly care for her? Would he have even looked her way if the bond hadn’t existed? No matter how much she tried, she couldn’t be convinced. Lucien was suited to the bold courage of Nesta or even the quick-wit of Feyre. Elain was brutally soft. Men like Lucien didn’t care for the delicate - right?

“I’m sorry to take you from your sister, Nuala,” Elain whispered, as her friend began to comb through her dripping hair.

“It’s no problem,” Nuala’s voice was like velvet, and in the mirror, Elain could see her eyes were soft and her mouth turned up at the corners. “Sometimes getting away from family can be good for you.”

Elain hummed in response as Nuala began to knot her hair into a crown of elegant braids so that her hair would dry with a curl.

#elucien #Elain #elain acotar #elain archeron #elain x lucien #elain/lucien #lucien #lucien vanserra #lucien x elain #lucien/elain #lucien acotar #acotar #acomaf #elucien fic #fffaf #acowar #acofas #acosf

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fanfictionfansmiction · 3 years

Text

Good Enough

Requested by the lovely @ravenclawprinxcess who asked for a fic about Bolin from Legend of Korra cheering up a sad reader! I really enjoy doing requests so please feel free to send them in :) I hope you enjoy and thanks for reading

Word Count: 1828

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Things felt wrong from the moment you had woken up. The rain drumming down on your ceiling and a bitterness that hung in the air. When you had left your room, you had immediately regretted it. An all too familiar sadness fogged your brain, perhaps it was a good day to stay indoors wrapped up in bed pretending that the world outside was all but a bad dream. That would have been a great remedy if it weren’t for your shift at the noodle bar today. It didn’t even matter that the shift was short you knew it was going to drag by. The silence of the kitchen dragged you even further into you foul mood.

Bolin had just come into the kitchen as your eyes were getting teary from the thought of having to deal with the world today. Unaware of the shift in your mood he came up behind you and wrapped his large arms around your waist placing a gentle kiss on your neck humming contently as he did. Swaying the two of you side to side in the same way he did every morning. You turned around and wrapped your arms around him nuzzling you faces into his neck. At first, he didn’t question it until your breathing began to become ragged and he could feel your tears wetting his shirt. He held you tighter and only planned to let go when you did.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked quietly into your hair. You only shook you head in response. “That’s okay.” He adds soothingly rubbing your back. If it was possible you would have stayed in his arms all day and he would have let you. When you pulled away you saw the wet patch you had left on his clean shirt. Which made you feel even worse.

“Sorry Bolin I’ve ruined your shirt.” You say with a whimper. He shakes his head and then wipes a tear away from your face. More worried about you with your blood shot eyes and splotchy cheeks.

“It’s fine I didn’t really like it anyway. Hey, I don’t think you should go to work today, I’ll swing by and let them know you aren’t feeling up for it. I’ll bring you back some food, and we can spend the entire day in together. Between you and me I’ve been waiting for a duvet day with you for months.” He says with concern.

“Don’t you have team Avatar stuff to do today?” You ask with a sniffle looking away.

“I know they’ll be completely lost without me, but they’ll just have to manage someone more important needs me more today.”

“Not afraid they’ll replace you with Wu.” You say with a small laugh.

“If they do, I’m blaming it on you.” He replies with a joking tone.

Your manager doesn’t ask Bolin too many questions which he’s thankful for. He doesn’t quite know how to tell her what’ wrong with you because he doesn’t think that you know yourself. But he has a plan on how to cheer you up. Placing an order for all you favourite items on the menu where you work, popping into the shop next door to pick up some bath oils and your favourite tea that you had ran out of. It was all coming together; your manager had even told Bolin that you could have the week off. With a bag full of goodies that always cheered you up Bolin intended on making his way back to you immediately but before he could his friends spotted him.

“See I told you he wasn’t dead.” Korra says placing her hands on her hips.

“I didn’t say he was dead I just said we should presume he’s dead and that I would be the perfect replacement.” Wu retorted.

“Did you forget that we were supposed to meet up today?” Mako asks.

“No, I didn’t forget big brother, but something came up and I’m needed elsewhere.” Bolin answers looking at his friends feeling a little guilty that he hadn’t told them he wouldn’t be meeting them today.

“So, your girlfriend is more important than official Avatar business? I would never abandon you like that Korra.” Wu says in a teasing tone.

“Don’t listen to him,” Asami says, “Is everything alright?” she asks.

With a sigh Bolin answers, “I’m not sure to be honest, she’s been really off this past week and I’m really worried about her. I was just at the noodle bar telling her boss she wouldn’t be in.”

“While also ordering everything off the menu?” Korra sarcastically asks him, peeking into the paper bag.

“I just want to make her feel better and eating always makes me feel better.” Bolin shrugs scratching the back of his neck. “I also got her some other stuff I know she likes.” He says pointing out the extra goodies he’d picked up. “But I don’t know what’s wrong, so I don’t know how to fix it.”

Asami sighs looking at her friend before saying, “You can’t fix whatever’s wrong Bolin just be there for her. That’s what Korra does for me when I get down.” She snakes her arm around Korra’s waist which causes them both to blush as they rest their heads together.

“Yeah, Asami was there for me when I was really low, and she didn’t try to fix anything but all I really needed was her there for me.”

Bolin then looked towards his brother and Wu in case either of them had any relationship advice to pass on but they both shrugged. “Neither of us have had a healthy relationship, listen to the ladies.” Wu adds.

“Thank you, I’ll see you soon.” Bolin says making his way back to you.

When he got back to the apartment, you’d made your way back to bed and found yourself crying at the lonely Blue Jay that perked outside your window. Instead of going to you straight away he decided to plate up the food he had ordered as well as he could. He boiled a kettle of water for a pot of tea. He brought all of it into the bedroom on a tray and looked at you with a warm encouraging smile.

“Hey babe, what’re you looking at?” He asks as he set down the tray in front of you.

“That bird is all alone its so sad.” You whine, just then the bird is joined by another one and they fly away together.

“See it’s not all bad.” He says sitting next to you on the bed stroking your hair. You look up at him with puffy eyes and a snotty nose. He pulls a tissue from the tray and blows your nose for you which makes you laugh at the silliness of the action. “I got you your favourite.” He says gesturing to the tray, the sight of it makes your eyes widen.

“Thank you, Bo.” You say kissing his cheek. “You didn’t have to do all this.” You grab the cup of tea and breathe it in deeply, “You got my tea.” Your voice cracks.

“And I’ve a few other things for you but first let’s enjoy the feast.” He stretches out to lay next to you and you cuddle into his chest popping a dumpling into your mouth.

“God, I love you.”

“Are you talking to me or the dumpling?” He asks.

“Would you like the truth or what you want to hear?” You laugh. His worry minimising a little at the sound.

“You were right Wu was looking to replace me.” Bolin tells you.

“He wouldn’t stand a chance.”

Bolin looks down at you and his face softens as he places a kiss on your forehead. You look up and grin at him even though your mouth is full of food and your face still puffy from the tears. He thinks about how much he loves you and for a moment he thinks he’s going to cry but you offer him the last of your favourite dumpling.

“I love you and this dumpling so much.” He says.

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The two of you take a nap after eating that much food. You snuggle into Bolin’s chest and he feels his heart explode. Knowing that after your night of restless sleep you really needed some more sleep. He rubs small circles along you back and you hum contently at the action. Bolin wakes up before you and he just takes you in, the soft rise and fall of your chest. The twitch of your nose and way you mumble to yourself. He really feels like the luckiest person in the world to be laying with you both with bellies full of food, the love that the two of you share in the apartment that you furnished together.

He slips out of the bed to get the second part of his plan to help you feel better and the small whine you let out after he’s gone almost pulls him back to your side. He sees you stretch out your arm and brush along the empty space he left. He goes to run you a bath and adds the fancy bath oils you always stare at when the two of you shop. Bolin get’s a little carried away with the romantic bath idea lighting all the candles he can find the apartment even stealing a rose from bouquet he’d bought you earlier in the week and adds some of the petals to the water. Playing the record you’d been after for weeks. And as he debates leaving you a trail of rose petals to follow, he sees that you’ve been standing in the doorway watching him with a sad smile on your face.

“Do you not like it?” he asks with concern, looking between you and the bath worried that he’s overstepped some sort of boundary.

“I love Bo, but I don’t deserve all this. I don’t deserve you.” You cry dropping your face into your hands. Before you know it, he’s right in front of you holding you face in his warm large hands lifting your face to look at him. An intensity takes over his face and you feel yourself wanting to be pulled closer to him.

“Are you crazy?” He asks in a murmur. Searching your face intensely with his glittering green eyes.

“No, but you’re too good for me.” You answer quietly.

“Why would you ever think that.” He breathes bringing your forehead to rest against his. “You are everything to me. If you ever feel like that again, please tell me. So, I can list all the reasons why you’re wrong.” He kisses you with an urgency he usually reserves. Your hands find your way to his strong back and his stay warming your face.

“You know I love it when you prove me wrong.” You say after you break apart. Both of you left breathless in the flickering light of the candles.

#bolin x you #bolin x reader #bolin x y/n #bolin imagine #Legend of Korra #Legend of Korra reader insert #legend of korra imagine #avatar reader insert #avatar imagine

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amaya-chwan · 3 years

Text

Takeaways from Therapy Game: Restart Chapter 11

Oh gosh, hello everyone! Thank you for being so patient with this chapter’s takeaways! I was really busy at work since I took on a new position, and then I was so engrossed in reading a super long novel (read: TGCF and that amazingness that is HuaLian) that it just took up a lot of my time the past couple of weeks! 😭❤️💛

I hope you are all well! This chapter was actually a nice little break from the drama themes we’d been used to reading, so let’s get to it!

Our takeaways for this chapter include:

Late night date at the communal bathhouse!! ✅😏😍

Honestly, Shizuma and Minato’s communication with each other is really goals! Such a healthy relationship! 🥰

Minato has really grown more and more over the course of TGR so far, I am living for it! Proud of you, bb! 😭❤️💛

Almost NFSW scene 🔞 at the bathhouse has got me CACKLING! 🤣 Ngl, I love the tender moments they have before the NSFW begins, and this, my dear readers, is a lot of tender, wholesome, loving moments!

Ngl, Shizuma with slicked back hair is divine! 😍

GOOD GAWD THEIR REACTION when ^*^ 🤣

The ending of this chapter just 👀

I SWEAR, EVERY DANG TIME, THESE DORKS ARE TOO ADORABLE FOR THEIR OWN GOOD! 🤣😍🥰❤️💛

And that’s it for this chapter’s takeaways! For a more detailed breakdown/summary of this chapter--and if you want to know what the ^*^ is--please continue after the cut! As always, I promise there are a few surprises in this summary! 😉✨

The cover page for this chapter has Minato crouching down with an umbrella in hand, with the caption: You came to see me. Just that act alone, warms me up from the heart (outwards).

The opening panel brings us to a public bathhouse, where some elderly gentlemen are blushingly staring at Minato who is currently rinsing himself off before he heads to the communal bath and says “This feels great...”

The gentlemen make commentary in the background, saying “It’s rare to see the youth here~”, “Does that youth have white* hair? (*in this case, probably platinum blond)”, “It’s bleached, BLEACHED!”, “My grandchild bleaches their hair too!”

Shizuma can obviously hear them, and he awkwardly thinks to himself that he and MInato are being stared at. Shizuma then thinks that Minato doesn’t really have an impression of what being at a public bathhouse is like since he is really carefree while rinsing. Minato takes a peek at Shizuma, and Shizuma smirks back. Minato grabs the back of this neck in an almost “I’m feeling a little awkward/shy” fashion.

Flashback: We return on the scene from last chapter (so probably timeline-wise, less than an hour or two beforehand), where Minato and Shizuma are together under the umbrella in the rain. Minato sneezes and is starting to feel the coldness in the air. Shizuma worriedly asks if he is okay and suggests taking Minato home first. Looking slightly dejected, Minato asks if they’re really going home now, to which Shizuma responds by saying “Of course we are. Your clothes are drenched. If you stay like this any longer, you really will catch a cold.”

Minato has a lightbulb moment and suggests going to the public bathhouse. The condition of entry for the bath house is that those who have a tattoo might be asked to present some form of ID and that the bathhouse owners have the right to refuse entry. Minato asks the elderly reception lady if she needs to see his ID, showing her his snake tattoo on his ankle. She laughs, saying that there’s nothing to worry about if his tattoo is just that “earthworm” (she doesn’t see it as a snake). She’s more concerned that he is drenched and tells him to take his wet clothes off and use the dryer, and to warm himself up in the bath by submerging his whole body up to his shoulders! Shizuma looks on lovingly on the side.

Back to the present time. Minato sits down next to Shizuma in the bath, getting used to the temperature of the water and starts to relax. Shizuma looks over and seems to think Minato won’t catch that cold anymore. He recalls what Minato said to him and how he wasn’t able to hear it due to the rain, and wonders what Minato could be hiding from him. Minato picks up on Shizuma’s staring and proceeds to tell him that he’d also feel uncomfortable with being constantly stared at by Shizuma. Shizuma then apologises to him, thinking that they haven’t been able to look at each other face-on since arriving at the bathhouse. He deduces that it’s because he failed to make it for their house tour appointment, so of course Minato should be angry.

Minato, without knowing what’s going on in Shizuma’s mind, blurts aloud that his body has grown stiff from sitting around all day and didn’t know whether to go home or not due to Shizuma’s lack of messages. Looking upset, Shizuma tells Minato that there was an emergency situation that occured right before he was leaving, and while he was able to help with the situation, he could not make the time to message Minato. He apologises again since Minato was looking forward to it.

Minato says it’s fine already, that Shizuma has been doing nothing but apologise lately. Shizuma agrees, saying that that’s all he’s being doing lately and he’s no good as a boyfriend. Minato, crouching over the side of the bath railing, says to Shizuma that that’s not what he wanted him to say, and that Shizuma hasn’t done anything wrong at all.

Flashback again: Minato is hastily walking towards Shizuma’s car, angry that Shizuma hasn’t messaged him at all and that since that dream he had at the cafe, he hasn’t been able to stop worrying about him. When he sees Shizuma’s car, he realises he must still be at the hospital and thinks he might be doing random odd-jobs again, or worse, he might be getting all friendly with the nurses. And if so, Minato won’t speak to him for a couple of days.

Minato then notices the two women walking out of the clinic in tears so he hides behind the car. While they talk about Hana-chan and how professional and personable Shizuma is as a resident vet, Minato eavesdrops and blames them for Shizuma staying back late. But the more he listens to the women being thankful everything went okay and Shizuma assuaged their fears, he is reminded how great of a vet Shizuma is.

Back to the present. Minato tells Shizuma he saw the two women and understands why he missed the appointment. He once told Shizuma to be a great vet (re: see side story in TG) while he himself realised he wasn’t ready for what that meant for Shizuma’s personal life. Minato then tells Shizuma that he’s helping all these people without him (Minato) knowing about it, that he’s falling in love with Shizuma all over again even though he’s been stood up on a date, and that he is (jokingly, I assume) annoyed by this feeling. Blushing, Minato looks over at a stunned Shizuma.

Having said all that, Minato pats Shizuma on the head, telling him he’s done well! Shizuma is still silent and stunned, and Minato gets a little flustered with the lack of response, almost as if Shizuma was coaxing those words from Minato. Shizuma says that while he’s happy that the puppies are okay and he was able to reassure the owners, Minato’s words just then made him feel the happiest all day, and flashes a really darling smile! Shizuma thanks him.

The elderly gentlemen begin to walk out, noticing Shizuma is grinning from ear to ear. They make small talk, and the gentlemen tell Shizuma to warm up!

Minato is also taken aback with the happiness overflowing from Shizuma’s expression. Shizuma notices Minato in a little bit of a daze and comes up close to him. When asked if he is having a hot flash, Minato pushes Shizuma away, saying he’s too close. Seeing the lack of people, Shizuma says they’re the only ones in the baths right now. Blushing again, Minato asks Shizuma if he’d like to be rewarded for working hard, to which Shizuma happily responds with “I wanna do it!” Minato agrees, reminding Shizuma to mind his manners since it’s a communal bath.

Things get a bit steamy between Shizuma and Minato, with Minato thinking he’s seen more of the adorable side of Shizuma today. They exchange words of arousal while Shizuma kisses and touches Minato all over.

Minato then teases Shizuma by calling him a “bad” vet. Just as they get more and more into it, one more guy comes out of the bath next to them, rinses his body and leaves, just like that. Both stunned at the thought that someone was there, they laugh! (^*^ moment)

Shizuma and Minato are now walking along the street, looking at the star-filled night sky. Shizuma says he was really looking forward to the house tour, but Minato says it’s okay since their house tour date became a bathhouse date. Being all pouty and cute, Minato asks Shizuma: “Well, either one of these dates would’ve been fine as long as we’re together, right?”

Shizuma grabs his heart, asking what’s up with Minato for him to be so adorable today. Minato says he’s assumed the role of an adorable person so that they can have a heated and passionate round of lovemaking when they get home, which Shizuma finds quite sly.

Shizuma once again asks Minato about what he said in the car park, reminding him that he doesn’t have to talk about it if he doesn’t want to. Minato says it’s nothing for Shizuma to worry about, that he’s not enduring it out of pride or anything. Remembering Shizuma’s joyful face when he told him those words of encouragement, Minato says: “(Inner monologue) Putting my feelings into words, those nightmares that I’ve grown tired of, and my anxieties, (aloud) with just your stupidly adorable smiling face, you blow away all the unpleasantness and dislikes I have. So Shizuma-kun, smile.” Shizuma shoots him a smile and understands what he’s saying, and Minato responds with “Hn, good boy.”

Still walking to Shizuma’s car, Minato reminds Shizuma not to show his adorable smiling face to anyone else. Shizuma awkwardly smiles and says he doesn’t, wondering where Minato got this idea from. They continue to talk about the bathhouse and how nice it was that the receptionist let Minato use the dryer. Shizuma then remembers he left his boxers to dry in the staff room at the hospital!

He stops by the hospital with Minato, who has no idea why he’s had to go back to the hospital right now. He assures Minato that it isn’t anything big, but is actually freaking out on the inside, afraid another staff member might see it (and yes, Onodera did see it in a previous panel). He leaves Minato in the car and runs over to collect his boxers. Minato smirks while seeing Shizuma knocking on the door to gain entry, but is slightly taken aback when he sees that the person who opens the door is Shizuma’s director, a woman.

And that’s it for this chapter! Everything was going so smoothly in this chapter, with all the tender moments, then BAM! Hinohara-sensei just had to end the chapter like that! Stay strong, Minato! It isn’t what you might think it is! 😭

Also, I shall check for typos and grammar tomorrow since Tumblr has failed me more than half a dozen times and I lost my post each time. RIP to me and my sleeping pattern haha! 😭

Again, THANK YOU FOR READING THIS FAR! 💜 📢 As always, please support Hinohara-sensei by purchasing her books and CDs! 📢

The next chapter will be in the next issue of Dear+ that will be coming out on the 13th of February (later this week)! Hopefully I’ll be back to regular scheduling and post at a reasonable time (and fix my editing skills LMFAO)! Thank you again for being so patient! Ngl, I am still drowning in all my TGCF feels, so I highly recommend this novel. It’s a long read, but well worth it! ❤️ HuaLian 4 life, period.

So yeah, I’ll see you guys again for our next set of takeaways! 😍

As always, stay safe during these turbulent times and look out for each other and for your loved ones! 💜

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 4 years

Text

From Eden: One

Warnings: noncon sexual acts, mentions of mental illness; tags to be added throughout series

This is dark!Bucky. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: The mc suffers from agoraphobia. After a new neighbour moves in across the street, her home becomes even more of a prison.

Note: So I've decided to try something new. I'm hoping that you don't mind the new format. This story is written in first person in the form of diary entries. Transcripts will be included at the end of chapters to accomodate any who have issues reading the images.

I am still working on Omerta but chapter 12 is taking me a little bit longer to complete so hopefully this can tide you over until tomorrow. Thank you so much for your patience! And support!!

As always, if you are so inclined, please like, reblog, and comment. <3

Transcript:

Sunday

It rained today. I hoped it would break the humidity but the air is still balmy and thick. The garden is starting to droop without the usual June sunlight. The shrubs look healthy but I don’t know if the mums will bloom. It is late for them.

The windows are clouded now the rain is gone. Once they dry, it will be suffocating again. I should have pulled out the old patio set last weekend but Lorena was here for the groceries. My meds are running low, I’ll have to remind her.

Oh, I found the old afghan grandma used to use. The one with the knitted flowers. Not a single hole. I’ll wash it and hang it over the loveseat in the lounge. It still smells of her. It’ll be two years next week. I miss her.

The kettle is whistling. Lorena bought a new flavour of tea; a spiced rooibos. It smells more suited to the winter but I’m anxious to try. It’ll boil over if I keep writing.

I found a documentary on a country house in the British Midlands. I might watch that with my tea. Or maybe fall asleep on the couch. Again.

Monday

I have a new neighbour.

Today, I went out to check the bulbs I planted two weeks ago. I don’t think they’ll bud. It was humid and I had sweat in my eyes as the large truck pulled up across the street. The orange moniker on its side was faded and its white paint was almost yellow. I peeked out the gate as they backed it up.

The beeping was horrible, almost deafening.

A car was just behind it. I shouldn’t be so curious but grandma always said I was a watcher. Watching is easy; doing is… difficult.

My new neighbour is a man. He has dark hair and a thick beard. I thought I was hallucinating when I saw the rest of him. His arm shone in the sunlight. It’s metal! I’ve never seen anything like it. I never saw a prosthetic that ended in anything but a hook or a blunt stump. I guess, I never really thought much about it.

I think he saw me too. It is hard to see behind the ivy that covers the front gate but I swore he could see me. I hid before I could make sure of it. It’s rude to stare. That’s what grandma would say. So went back to the flower bed and dug up the bulbs. They were dead.Lorena is coming tomorrow. I’ll ask her to grab more.

Tuesday

Lorena came buy today. She commented about my new neighbour. I acted surprised.

I gave her my list and reminded her of my pills. She was gone for a while before she returned. When she returned, I helped her bring in the bags. We unpacked them and she told me about her new niece; Cora. I think that’s a pretty name but Lorena thinks it’s too old fashioned. She said I would like it given my usual tastes.

She asked if I was wearing grandma’s shirt. I lied and said I wasn’t.

I showed her the garden and she had some tea after helping me set up the heavy iron patio set with the mosaic tabletop.

She showed me pictures of Cora. She said when she marries Shelby, she wants to adopt but her sister offered to be her surrogate. I thought that was nice.She left shortly after. I’m in the garden, staring at the old shed as I write. The frame around the window is starting to fall apart. I should fix it soon. And maybe clean the--

Later

The man was at the gate. The one with the metal arm. He scared me.

I hid behind the ivy as I looked out at him. His eyes are very blue. Piercing. Despite the heat, they made me want to shiver. His metal fingers wrapped around one of the curlicues of the gate. He said hello and that his name was Bucky.

I nearly swallowed my tongue as I ran away. I didn’t dare grab my diary until the sunset. He was gone, thank god. I hope he doesn’t come back.

Wednesday

Doctor Tisha called today. She wants me to come in at the end of the month to have my prescriptions reviewed. I told her they were helping much better than the old ones. No more vertigo or manic fits, but my dreams are really vivid. She also reminded me that I should make more of an effort to go beyond the garden. The pills can’t do all the work. Well, I think there are parts of me that just can’t be fixed.

I cleaned out the birdbath but the shed window is still drooping. There’s a spider web above the door and I’m working up the courage to open it. My grandma was always the brave one; she called her slippers ‘the exterminators’. She always made me laugh.

Then the man returned. His knuckles make an odd clinking on the gate when he knocks. I didn’t move at first. I’d rather have faced the spider and her web. But he kept on and it was getting rather annoying.

He pulled some of the ivy aside as I got close. I kept to the edge and peeked out at him. He held a box of freesias.

“Hey again.”

He speaks as if he knows me. I don’t like that. He didn’t even care that I didn’t answer.

“I see you like to garden so I thought I’d bring you some flowers. To introduce myself…. Better. I’m sorry if I scared you yesterday.”

I didn’t know what to say. The freesias were all shades of red, orange, and yellow. Young with a bit of growing still to do. I shook my head.

“You don’t want them?” He asked.

I frowned so hard it hurt my cheeks. I haven’t talked to anyone by Lorena or Doctor Tisha since grandma died. I was never good at that.

“No, I don’t know you.” I felt as if it was someone else talking.

He blinked and I suddenly felt very dizzy. I ran back to the shed and ripped the door open without thinking. The web caught in my hair as I slammed it shut behind me. I sat in the shadows as I tried to wipe away the web. The old rubbermaid lid warped beneath me, if not cracked.

I didn’t come out until the musty air made me sick. As I ran into the house, I noticed he had left the flowers on the other side of the gate. I locked the door behind me and shuddered. I swore I felt eight legs crawling down my arm.

Thursday

Sure enough, the flowers are still there. They haven’t wilted at all despite the intense heat of the sun. June is in full effect and the days get brighter and longer.

I found the old weather vane grandma said was swept away in a storm. It was hidden behind the row hedges along the stone wall around the yard. It’s bent but fixable.

I went inside to eat at noon. I looked out the window as I ate; the strawberries were sour. I saw a shadow through the gate. I watched for a while, sure it was the shifting of the sun. Then I saw the metal fingers and the man’s square jaw as he tried to see past the ivy. He knelt and touched the dainty petals of the freesia. He lifted one of the small pots to sniff and placed it back in the box.

He left shortly after. I won’t go back out. I need to work on the house anyway. All this dust is making me sneeze.

Friday

The flowers are still there.

I refuse to look at them. Instead I focus on my own. I brought the old sony tape deck out to listen to the radio. Grandma always said it was older than me. I believe her. The speakers crackle and the antenna kept falling off.

The robins and sparrows were at the birdbath and a pair of cardinals have taken up in the old painted birdhouse around the back. The squirrels broke the window frame on the shed. Well, I’ll deal with that next week.

The flowers are starting to bloom nicely. I thought they might not, given the late showers and the sudden drought.

There was a monarch butterfly by the carnations. It flew away before I got too close. My mother liked monarchs. I remember she had one framed in her room. Like the picture of her in grandma’s.

I try not to think of her. Or grandma, too much.

It makes me sad. Doctor Tisha says this isn’t grandma’s house anymore, it’s mine. My life is mine, she tells me. It’s never really felt like it but I’m trying.

Saturday

The lock on the gate is broken and the flowers are gone. They didn’t go far. I found them planted by the lilies. I had tears in my eyes and my hands shook terribly as I wound an old bike lock around the gate. I picked up the pieces of the old latch. It’s totally ruined.

I haven’t been out since. I’m scared. Was it him?

It seems like a kind gesture but the memory of the busted lock makes me think otherwise.I’m confused. What does he want?

He should’ve let the flowers wilt and die. Or maybe I should just learn to tell people to leave me alone. Out loud.

#Bucky Barnes #dark bucky barnes #dark!bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x oc #dark bucky barnes x reader #dark bucky barnes x oc #dark!bucky barnes x reader #dark!bucky barnes x oc #dark!fic #dark fic #fic #series #from eden #au #marvel #mcu

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bffsoobin · 4 years

Text

Windflower

01|02|03|04|05|06

↳ after a heartbreak you find yourself in a small town looking for purpose. you find employment with Choi Soobin and his impressive ancestral home. when you start to fall in love again, there’s no way for you to predict what you find in the depths of the home and Soobin’s mind.

➤ hanahaki au, fluff, angst

Word Count:3,945

Warnings: swearing, mentions of an injury (nothing serious), I didn’t proof read (surprise!)

A/N: here’s the long awaited (by some) part 4 of Windflower! I’m getting really excited about this as we’re reaching somewhat of a turning point. I cannot wait to see your reactions to the twists in the coming chapters hehe. Anyway I hope you enjoy & leave feedback if you want to!

•:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:•☾☼☽•:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:••:•.•

If you had thought the humidity the day you arrived in town was bad, you definitely were not ready for the sweltering heat that permeated the air today. You had awoken surprisingly early and found that the sun was shining in vibrant rays into your room. In your drowsy state you had enjoyed the heat, even curling deeper under your covers as your body surfaced back into reality. If you listened close enough, you could hear birds chirping outside through the closed windows and you briefly wondered if you should spend the whole day cuddled up with your pillow. The silk sheets could only shield you from the radiating heat for so long, though. Soon enough, the gentle heat that had caressed you awake settled into your skin and made you feel suffocated. Flinging your sheets off only gave you a bit of relief as you realized that there was almost no cool air in your room. Upon peeking outside, you noticed no evidence of the gentle summer breeze you had come to love. Every single plant in the yard stood still as the sun beat down on them. Sweat was beading on your forehead and the back of your neck in uncomfortable patches as you headed for the bathroom. Thankfully, the tiles were cold under your feet, and the small relief washed through your entire body.

You started the water for a cold shower, hoping to drive away the heat that the day had already provided as early as 8am. As small droplets of water splashed onto your skin, you couldn’t help but wonder if this was the kind of weather you should come to expect from the tiny town. You decided you’d have to ask Soobin once he got up.

After the shower expelled the sweat off of your skin, you dressed and bounded down the steps toward the kitchen. At this point, you had been living and working with Soobin for several weeks. The two of you had a comfortable routine that included a healthy mix of time spent both together and alone. You rose before him almost every morning and took it upon yourself to make him an omelet after watering all of the houseplants littered around the living spaces. Many times he had insisted that there was no reason for you to make him breakfast; and this morning was no exception. Just as you finished watering an impressively sized aloe plant, Soobin had begun his grumbling.

“Y/N! How many times do I have to tell you that you have no obligation to make me breakfast every day?” His voice was still thick with sleep and upon examining him you noticed he still had some gunk in the corner of his eyes. The corners of your mouth twitched upwards at his helplessly soft nature.

“You can tell me every day, Soobin. I don’t care,” you pulled a bottle of orange juice from the fridge and poured both of you a glass, “it’s the least I can do. Plus, I know you love breakfast but you’d burn it all if you tried to do it yourself.” He grumbled at that through a mouthful of food but didn’t protest as he knew you were right. As Soobin sipped at his drink, he hummed thoughtfully as if he suddenly remembered something.

“I think we need to water the flowers today. We aren’t supposed to get rain for a long time and it’s getting to be really hot. I don’t want any of them to die.” For some reason, the thought of manually caring for Soobin’s beloved garden put fear in your stomach. Of course you had done some work on the garden but nothing more than adding some mulch and chasing away the occasional bunny looking for a place to burrow. But caring for the house and garden was why you were here to begin with, so you nodded in agreement.

Soobin stood to his full height, stretching his arms above his body to work out all of the aches from his sleep. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t bring yourself to look away from the strip of smooth skin that became exposed in the process. You hoped he hadn’t noticed your staring or the light pink dusting on your cheeks as he passed by you to drop his dishes into the sink. With your mind whirling, you desperately tried to steer your thoughts away from the way they were running with the imagine of Soobin’s exposed stomach.

“I’m going to go,” you coughed awkwardly when Soobin whirled around with his plate still in hand to make eye contact with you, “upstairs to change and then we can go out to work on the garden.” You took his moment of comprehension to haul yourself up the creaking maplewood staircase and into the safety of your room as your palms began to sweat.

----

As soon as the two of you stepped onto the back porch you felt like you had walked into a brick wall. The heat was so oppressive that you felt physical weight on your shoulders as you groaned. Soobin bounded ahead of you as if he hadn’t even registered the unmovable force of heat encasing your whole being. You audibly gagged, earning a snorted laugh from Soobin as he made his way toward the sea of flowers. Their colors seemed to shine even brighter underneath the intense sunlight and you swore you could almost see some of them sparkling with an otherworldly quality. Upon further inspection you noticed just how dry the soil was and felt concern digging at your heart. Soobin seemed similarly worried as he stooped over a section of jasmine plants, cooing over a weed he had found in the ground alongside them. You shook your head at his antics and caught wind of him apologizing to the plant as you retrieved the hose coiled up alongside the house.

For a while the two of you worked in a comfortable harmony. Soobin had put himself in charge of weeding while you were responsible for making sure the soil was thoroughly wet to avoid any damage to the coveted flowers. As far as jobs go, this one wasn’t half bad. Despite the massive area of the garden, the hose reached as far as you ever would need it to. After you finished watering a rather large patch of roses you could no longer resist the urge to stick your entire head underneath the hose. With all of the sun beating down you began to understand how Soobin had achieved his impeccable tan so early into the summer.

“Soobin,” you whined his name to tear his attention away from the pesky weeds that had rooted themselves within his beloved garden.

“Yeah?” his answer was punctuated by a grunt of exertion that you could only assume was his attempt at yanking out the weed. You grimaced at the knowledge that he wasn’t wearing any gardening gloves and worried for the sensitive skin of his palms.

“I’m too hot. It’s disgusting out here,” you pulled the fabric of your shirt away from your stomach before waving it back and forth to prove just how sweaty the combination of heat and manual labor had made you. Soobin said nothing for a second but you could hear the sound of roots ripping out of the ground before he finally replied.

“I forget that you’re not from here,” he laughed as if the oppressive heat was something you should have expected the day you rode in on the winding road with your whole life packed in the back seat. “Why don’t you just go inside for a bit? I’ll be fine dealing with this alone for a while. Plus, I can’t afford to take you to the hospital if you pass out. And imagine how much damage you’d do to the flowers!” He gasped as if absolutely scandalized at the idea of your body crashing into the delicate fauna.

You grumbled under your breath, making sure to turn away so there was no chance he could see the quirking corners of your mouth. “Fine,” you sighed, equally as dramatic as he had just been, “I’ll stay inside and watch you from the living room like a widow.”

Upon entering the house, you knew something was off. Your eyebrows scrunched in confusion as you stood just inside of the closed doorway. Why the fuck was it just as hot inside as it was outside? Heat still crawled over every inch of your body, making strands of hair stick disgustingly to the back of your neck. You wandered through the living room, kitchen and library in the hope that the heat you felt upon entering was just due to your location. Unfortunately, every section of the grand home was equally as steamy as the direct sunshine outside. The dream of taking a break in the wonderful air conditioning was crushed.

Stomping like a toddler, you made your way back down to the garden. Soobin had taken over your watering job and he seemed shocked to see you back so early. His shirt showed small hints of sweat building on his lower back and around the collar, but it was nothing compared to the absolute mess you had become. If it wasn’t for how much you liked him, you would have been annoyed at his tolerance.

“Back already? Did you miss me that much, bub?” Your heart stuttered at the use of your occasional nickname.

“No. You give yourself too much credit. The AC is broken,” the steady stream of water sprouting from the hose ceased as Soobin loosened his grip on the handle.

“The house AC?” He asked dumbly, blinking at you in disbelief. His lips were parted wide as you rolled your eyes.

“No, the AC for the shower. Yes, the house AC!” Knowing you had no easy escape from the heat made your nerves fray even more.

“Oh. Well,” he turns the hose back on, “I can call the mechanic.” You stared at him blankly for a while before he felt your burning gaze.

“What?” Rounded eyes opened even wider than you thought were possible as he stared you down.

“It’s Sunday. What are we going to do until the mechanic gets here tomorrow?” The point makes his eyebrows scrunch together as the hose clicks off again. It hangs loosely in his hand for a few moments before he springs back into action.

“Okay, you’re right. I’ll go into town and see if I can find one of those portable ones? That way we can at least keep one room cooler.” He nodded to himself as if he were speaking to his reflection and handed you the hose. Cold water dripped from his fingertips onto your arm and you shivered at the feeling. You chose to believe the water was the only reason for your reaction. Soobin ran into the house, lean body disappearing for a few seconds before he reemerged with his car keys. He said his goodbyes and left to find a solution for your personal hell.

For a bit, you went back to watering the flowers. And then you turned the hose on yourself and let the frigid water run down your back. Although it was a shock to your system, you knew it was the only way you could keep yourself from actually melting into a gummy pile before Soobin got back. The idea of simply staying outside until he came back bounced around your mind until an even better one cropped up. Maybe you could fix the AC on your own! That way you wouldn’t have to deal with the hassle of waiting for a mechanic. You were sure that you could locate the unit and find a tutorial to fix the thing. Maybe a special switch just needed flipped. With renewed vigor you shuffled back into the house, making a strategic pit stop at the kitchen to fill a metal water bottle with ice cold water. Your clothing dripped loudly against the wooden floors but you ignored it. You figured it was so hot that the water would probably evaporate immediately.

Although you had a clear mission in mind you had to admit that you were totally unsure of where the AC unit would be. Soobin had never pointed it out to you and the stately home boasted so many doors that you weren’t sure you would have remembered if he showed you anyway. You wandered into the laundry room, wondering if you had missed something on the walls. When you had no success there, you moved on to opening almost every dark wooded sleek door you could find. By some kind of miracle, your body had finally adjusted to the pressing heat as you searched. Despite that, you could still feel sweat beading on your forehead as you rooted through a storage room in the hopes of finding something that you assumed would be the AC.

Eventually, you had exhausted the entire first floor. Every heavy door only lead you to disappointment and some mild confusion over why the old home had so many unused rooms. Perhaps the house got much more use in the old days when the large family painted on the canvas just to the left of Soobin’s room was still alive. The thought of the haunting oil painting encouraged you to make the walk up the steps. Your legs felt heavy from the exhaustion that heat and your search had made settle into your bones.

A heavy sigh left your parted lips as you finally rounded the corner of the staircase and were faced with the familiar upper landing. You skipped past yours and Soobin’s room immediately. The AC unit was obviously not residing in your room, and while you had never fully been inside of Soobin’s room, you doubted that the house was designed that oddly. Three more identical doors stood further down the hallway. Weeks ago when you had taken your initial tour of the home, Soobin had glossed right over them in favor of showing off your new home for the summer.

Something about his easy dismissal of the rooms unsettled you. You trusted Soobin, but there was no way to ignore the disparity between the way he had so eagerly toured you through the house against the way he barely even acknowledged these doors. You’re being ridiculous, you thought. What could Soobin possibly be hiding behind these three non descript doors? Shaking off the unsettling knot in your stomach you pushed the door closest to your room open. It creaked loudly from disuse and you cringed as you felt along the wall for a lightswitch. When you finally found one, a light crackled on in the center of the room and shone a brilliant vibrance all around. It was so intense that you had to squint your eyes until they no longer hurt. The room was oddly clean compared to the rooms you scoured downstairs. There was no layer of dust that you would have expected and a faint scent of lemon cleaner permeated the air. Innocuous dressers and bookshelves were pushed up against all of the walls. None of them quite matched but you recalled in the back of your mind that Soobin’s cousin was an interior designer; which would explain the disconnection of styles. This must have been the place he stored old projects and pieces he shuffled through the home.

Feeling a bit more at ease, you continued to look around for any hint of the unit you were hunting for. Circling the round table serving as a centerpiece of the room changed your perspective and you caught a glimpse of something peaking out from behind what seemed to be a bunch of heavy furniture. The edge you could see looked promisingly similar to the AC unit that had been within your home growing up. With renewed vigor you began to push at a small dresser that felt much heavier than it looked. A grunt of exertion slipped from your lips as you finally pushed the furniture over far enough to get to the table located behind it. While it was much easier to move, it was also much louder than the dresser had been. The legs screeched against the floors and you shrieked in concern at the idea of the probably original hardwood being scratched in the midst of your desperation for cool air. As you crouched down to examine the floor, you heard stomping footsteps enter the room behind you.

Reflexively you jumped back at the sound and subsequently bounced your head off of the underside of the table.

“Ouch, fuck!” you clutched at the back of your head as you bit into your tongue to try and manage the throbbing pain. Your vision was blurry but you could vaguely make out Soobin’s figure and his distinct scent as he crouched down beside you. Gentle hands grasped at you, one cupping your head and the other resting firmly on your forearm as he ushered you out from under the table. Your head was still spinning; the combination of heat and pain making you feel sick to your stomach as Soobin guided you all the way out of the room.

“What were you doing?” Soobin’s voice was assertive and laced with a concern you hadn’t quite expected.

“I was-” you cut yourself off with a whine as a flash of pain shot behind your eyes and felt large hands grab at you once again. The next time you opened your eyes was when you felt the silky texture of your bedsheets underneath your knees. While Soobin rushed away from the bed, you fought to open your eyes as you grasped at the flesh of your knees to ground yourself. Although your vision was less shaky, there was no denying the extreme headache that originated from the back of your head.

“Here,” you saw Soobin’s form coming your way before he pushed a cold washcloth onto your forehead. Although that wasn’t the origin of your pain, the cool sensation helped the throbbing in your mind calm down. Soobin shuffled nervously between his feet as he waited for some kind of sign that you were alright. Eventually, you were able to actually focus on the way his eyes were crinkled with concern, lips downturned in a serious frown that you hadn’t even seen him wear when he found he was overwatering his ivy plant. The persistent sunlight of the summer day shone in through your windows and casted him in a glow that made him look as if he had just descended from Heaven to check on you. Golden strips of light casted over his t-shirt in such a way that you were almost envious of the way the rays were able to wrap around his body.

And then you remembered it was the same damn sun that got you into this mess.

“I was trying to find the AC unit,” your voice was gravely and quiet but Soobin still heard you.

“What were you thinking? You can’t just wander around the house like that! You could’ve-” he waved his hands toward where you pressed the washcloth to your forehead, “well you did! You got hurt! There’s a reason I didn’t bother to tell you what was in that room. There’s no reason for you to be poking around like that in a house that isn’t yours!”

The corners of your eyes burned with unshed tears as you registered the raw emotion in his tone. Although some of his words made you feel like a child being berated, you understood where he was coming from. You could easily recognize the genuine concern for your wellbeing.

“I’m sorry, Soobin,” he plopped down on the bed next to you, “you’re right. This isn’t my house. It’s my fault that I got hurt, really. I was just trying to help with the AC issue and I couldn’t find the unit anywhere else so I started looking in rooms I’d never been in before,” you stole a quick glance his way only to see his intense gaze locked onto your form. “Please don’t feel bad about me getting hurt. And I’m sorry about the room, I can help you move all the furniture back!” Something deep inside of you felt the need to do as much as you can to make up for the hurt you seem to have caused Soobin. He grinned at you softly before reaching up and encircling your wrist with his slender fingers. The feeling of his fingertips grazing the soft skin of your wrist made your insides ignite in a nervous fire. Gently, he coaxed your hand away from your forehead and you instinctively dropped the now room temperature washcloth into your lap. It landed with a wet plop but you didn’t have time to pay it any mind as Soobin slowly laced his fingers right between yours.

He gave you all the time in the world to pull away from his touch but instead you just stared dumbly at your hand while he finally latched onto you fully. Your breath hitched violently in your throat at the warm contact and you were sure Soobin had heard it. For a second you worried that he would pull away or make fun of you for your reactions but he simply gave your hand a short squeeze.

“It’s okay, don’t worry about the room,” his voice was so smooth and quiet that you could almost fall asleep right there. An instinct you didn’t know you had caused you to lean closer into his side. “Just don’t go in there again, okay? I mean it. There’s nothing worth looking at in there,” his voice hardened unexpectedly and you couldn’t help but laugh at him a bit.

“Okay, okay! I’ll stay away, but you do know that I just bumped into the table, right? It didn’t hurt me on purpose.” The teasing seemed to lift a small weight from his shoulders as he visibly brightened. There was no way you could miss the firm weight of his hand pressing further into yours as he leaned into your side the same way you were on him. Using his free hand, he tentatively cupped the back of your head where you had originally hurt yourself. The pain had begun to subside, but a new type of anxiety ran through your body as you noticed just how close your faces had become. You could nearly count every single eyelash framing his rich brown eyes.

“Please,” his warm breath fanned over your already clammy skin, “don’t ever go in that room again. I’m already beside myself that you got hurt and it’s not even a bad injury. If you do anything for me, at least do this.”

“Of course, Soobin.” You finally mustered the courage to return one of his reassuring squeezes; causing his dimples pop out from the smooth plains of his cheeks. Your heart stuttered in your chest before a dull, persistent pain permeated through it. You swallowed it down, successfully tricking Soobin into thinking you were fine as he rattled on about the fans and portable AC units he managed to buy at the local hardware store.

The inside of your mouth went dry. You hoped that you were horribly off base, but you knew that ache. You’d felt it before. A part of you wanted to ignore the obvious and pretend that you were simply overreacting to a pulled muscle. Unfortunately, a larger, more rational part of you knew exactly what the feeling was. You were growing flowers. Again.

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snowflake-of-destruction · 3 years

Note

144

144. I cheated

Probably not what you had in mind, anon, but we love subverting expectation. Subverting expectation and Xehaqus makeouts. This is set sometime after the four years later of KHDR as becomes clear

Eraqus gasped in surprise as his back hit the wall of the hallway. His reflexes had been honed until they were faster than most keybearers, a subsect that was already superhuman. His assailant should have been on the floor in multiple pieces within two seconds, even catching his guard down--even catching him now, shoes and the bottom of the black hakama he’d only worn twice before caked with funeral dirt.

It always rained when keybearers were buried, as if Scala itself felt the death of the light. As a master, he had been expected to say something, even though he was still the youngest Master on Scala Ad Caelum. As a good friend of one of the buried, he’d found the words stuck in his throat, choking him until tears like those good masters didn’t shed (No mourning, No sorrow. From Kingdom Hearts we are sprung, we walk, and we return to the same) stung and caught at the corners of his eyes.

He’d wished desperately, childishly that Xehanort had been there, and almost felt his arms around him, strong and secure. He wasn’t entirely sure he would have made it until the end of the ceremony without giving in to the rubber band stretched too far feeling in his limbs and running away like a child to hide behind older headstones in the graveyard and sob, if he hadn’t been able to force himself to relax imagining leaning back against his ex’s chest, feeling the phantom of a chin digging into the top of his scalp and then a soft press of lips that were not there, hadn’t been there for over a year, to his hair a moment later as a silent apology because Xehanort knew Era hated being used as a chinrest and reminded that they weren’t the same height anymore.

So he’d been several stages removed from reality, relaxed in a place he didn’t expect to be accosted, in a well-defended tower of private rooms (Still student dormitories, traditionally. Didn’t Eraqus want more private lodging somewhere else on the island away from the academy like the other masters? There was space enough for him to stay where he was. That wasn’t the issue. There weren’t as many students now. But is it healthy for him to stay in his old room? He would have said he liked to stay in between Baldr and Bragi’s old rooms, but that made them worry more.) with others with enhanced senses and fighting skills all around even if the guard failed, lost in grief and his own fantasy world where Xehanort had come back or had never left in the first place. He still should have been able to lay an assailant out flat before they got a hand on him--and especially before they grabbed him, spun him around, and half through him into a wall--even if they approached from the back.

That wasn’t how it went. Eraqus was batted around like an improperly anchored training dummy, and he didn’t have time to respond to the push before there were a pair of lips latched to his, a warm tongue taking advantage of his mouth opening in surprise to lick inside and explore, familiar smell wrapping around him along with the toned arms he had craved and amber eyes set in rich russet skin dominating his vision. Was he dreaming still?

Eraqus made a confused noise and brought his hands up to push against the warm body against him, but as soon as he tried to shove against Xehanort’s unyielding chest, his wrists were caught in an almost bruisingly tight grip, lifted and pinned against the wall beside his head on either side. Eraqus made another sound low in his throat and tried to wriggle out of Xehanort’s grasp, but the other man just chuckled into his mouth before answering with a low groan of his own that sparked prickles of heat to break out all over Xehaqus’s body, even before he pressed closer to the trapped brunet, a shift of hips where all heat settled low.

Eraqus’s head sank back more solidly against the wall and for a moment he gave in, letting Xehanort dominate the kiss until the lack of response made him pull back.

“This is cheating,” Eraqus complained with swollen lips, beating Xehanort to speech even though he had to cut him off to do so, determined to act first this time.

“There’s someone else?” If Xehanort’s voice sounded hurt, his eyes said the wound was mortal.

“No.” There never could be. “Coming back now, and saying hello like this is cheating!”

“Yeah,” Xehanort acknowledged, neither looking nor sounding guilty in the slightest. “I cheated.”

The hands shackling Eraqus’s wrists flattened into spread palms and slithered up to press against Eraqus’s hands themselves so they were fingertip to fingertip, pinning them against the wall in a different way in a microcosm of how he wanted to lay Eraqus down on the bed he remembered sneaking into in the past when there was less weight on both of their shoulders and pin him in place with the weight of his body, not even for anything more than to sleep knowing they’d wake up stuck together, forehead to feet, a sweaty pile of tingling limbs that woke up more slowly than the mind. He wiggled his fingers and slipped them into the gaps between Eraqus’s. Linked. They still fit perfectly. “You cheated at our chess games.” As if that made them fair and square.

“I cheated,” Eraqus agreed where he had denied in years before.

“Not to steal a victory. To skip the middle and just get to the part where you win.”

Eraqus pressed his eyes closed for a minute and then, after a shuddering breath, opened them slowly enough that Xehanort had time to consider the sweep of his thick black eyelashes as high art. It wasn’t a nod, but “yes” could be read in it. Yes, I did, and, yes, I’ll let you.

It wasn’t fair that Xehanort expected to pick up not just where they had left off but more passionately (They hadn’t as much as touched hands since Urd died, even though Xehanort hadn’t left until three weeks after). It wasn’t fair that Xehanort had apparently been on planet and had skipped Vor’s funeral on purpose. Vor had been the baby and the last one of their old class left aside from them.

It wasn’t fair that Eraqus could quickly, easily put it from his mind with Xehanort solidly in front of him.

Cheating.

Xehanort resumed explorations, hands drifting this time over Eraqus’s funeral clothes as they stood in the hall where students could wander through or peek out of their rooms and see them acting sixteen again.

Xehanort laughed in Eraqus’s mouth again, and the sound irked him, so he licked teasingly at the roof of Xehanort’s mouth, making him squirm at the ticklish feeling, then pushed him away. He smirked at Xehanort, enjoying the way yellowed eyes he hardly remembered anymore as gray-blue flicked from his brown ones to his swollen mouth. Laughing, Eraqus dodged Xehanort’s attempt to trap him again, and sprinted down the hallway to his room, grinning at the sound of footsteps behind him.

He hadn’t laughed in quite the same way since they’d said goodbye in the graveyard.

As he unlocked his door, he felt Xehanort press against his back, hands tight around Eraqus’s hips as he pushed his tied hair to the side and laid soft kisses to the nape of his neck. Eraqus laughed again, pushing Xehanort back with his body and ducked into his room, turning around to pull Xehanort in with a mischievous grin.

He’d meant to pull him over to the bed, but Xehanort had other ideas. Eraqus found himself pushed against another wall, with Xehanort crowded in close, one hand flat against the wall and the other arm wrapping around Eraqus’s waist, bringing the shorter boy flush against him. Eraqus moaned into Xehanort’s mouth, reaching up to tangle his hands in the soft silver tinsel hair. “You have me. Don’t you want to use me?”

“Of course,” Xehanort muttered, sliding his hands down to the top of Eraqus’s thighs and pushing him up the wall, stepping in close to keep him there as Eraqus’s legs tightened around him. “But we have plenty of time.”

#xehaqus #tardy mcfleetfoot and his falling star #xehanort #eraqus #snippets #Anonymous

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otherworldly-healer · 3 years

Text

helpingthelongrain said:🥣

PLEASE do not perceive me

It had been a long time since she was genuinely struck with food poisoning. A perfect storm as it were, after coming down with a cold while at her study session with the children this week. She had spent the last few hours in the bathroom with her face hovering over the toilet. After washing her face and brushing her teeth, and gargling with mouthwash at least three times she finally felt as if she had nothing left to rid her body of. She was pale, and she ached all over. She was about to go slither herself back into bed when a knock was heard at the door.

“Please…please don’t let it be the rat again…”

Raine opens the door a crack to find that the culprit was even worse—almost the very last person she would want seeing her in this state. Rinnosuke. He is all smiles, carrying a bag of groceries in one arm. Meanwhile, Raine showed nothing but her shoulder, hand, and half of her face from behind the door, warily peering out from behind the barrier.

“Ah. There you are. I hope I haven’t woken you. You weren’t answering your phone…and I thought you might be in need of some food. You did say you weren’t feeling well.”

“That is very kind of you…really I do appreciate the thought…but I wouldn’t want you to catch what I have so there’s really no need…!” Raine attempts to close the gap in the door, but Rinnosuke pushes it back open, causing the half-elf’s socks to slide against the floor and push her backwards in one fluid motion. She didn’t have the energy to fight back against the force, so she instead just had to accept that his stubbornness would not make this an easy battle.

“Hmm…? Nonsense. I don’t get sick very often. It’s part of being a half-youkai, so don’t worry on my account. Anyway… you’re in no state to be cooking for yourself. I insist.” No doubt if she had been cooking for herself, it would only make her condition worse. He’d shudder at some of the concoctions she’d dreamed up while fully alert, nevermind one that she would devise while under a fog of illness.

Raine tried to protest once again, but each time her concerns were rebuffed. A wave of dread washed over her as she looked down at her pajamas, remembering a few moments before when she looked in the mirror. He really had a habit of seeing her at the worst possible times, before she’d put herself together, when she was disheveled, and even when she was upset. Somehow, none of those times he shied away from her or appeared at all put off. As usual, she had to figure that there must have been some kind of catch. As he walked through the entrance and slid off his shoes, he approached her and put his hand on her forehead.

“Tsk…you’re burning up. You need to go lie down. I’ll take care of the rest.” Raine grumbles something incomprehensible, and he nudges her forward, waiting at the corner with the three rooms for her to enter her own. Raine turns to him.

“You don’t have to chaperone me there, you know.” She just didn’t want him to see the state of her room, so she would first attempt sass to get him to back off. Always the one not to take a clue, he shakes his head.

“If I don’t I doubt that you would actually lie down. You push yourself too much. I don’t expect that would change when you’re sick.” She hated to admit it, but he was right on the money. She didn’t really have an argument, so she would walk to her own room, resigned. She did try to close the door behind her without letting him see the mess and clutter of artifacts piled into boxes scattered around the floor, a hamper of overflowing laundry and a messy bed, but she knew it was a wasted effort. If he heard her moving things around in there he would order her to rest, and he would eventually open the door to see it anyway. So much for pretending like she could take care of herself.

She can hear him rustle around in the kitchen and turning on the tap, likely having put the ingredients for the broth into a pot on the stove. When he returns to her room, he brings a glass of water and a soaked hand towel with some ice. He really did like to fuss. After confirming that she had taken some medicine to break the fever, Raine attempted to get up to go get a box of tissues from the bathroom, but he gently pushes her shoulder back down and brought the covers back around her. Then he got up to do the task himself, returning shortly thereafter and placing the box nearby on the nightstand.

“You didn’t need to travel all the way out here just to take care of me. I’ll be just fine in a few days.”

“Raine. I’m doing this because I want to. You don’t have to do everything yourself you know. I’m happy to help. So…do you think this is just a flu?” Raine is quieted by his response. Normally she couldn’t rely on anyone else to take care of her, and it would probably cause trouble to keep being so stubborn here and now. She sighs, sinking down into her pillow. She is happy about it deep down, it was just difficult to accept help, be it her pride or reluctance to be seen as vulnerable or weak.

“That…and likely a small case of food poisoning.”

“Both…?! I really should have gotten here sooner…” To save her from herself, he thought.

“Hey! I know what you’re thinking. I didn’t cause it. Someone else tried to…” Raine suddenly felt a wave of nausea and had to pause her thought. “…I got another supposed scare package—er. Care package—and.” Nope. If she kept trying to talk she was just going to make herself sick again. Rinnosuke rubbed her arm and started to rise from his seat, and as he turned to walk towards the door the woman’s voice would pipe up once again. “Thank you…for being here. Really…”

He turns around and smiles, telling her to get some rest while he prepared her some food. She takes a drink from the glass, shrinking down under the covers and started feeling guilty about how resistant she was to being cared for. If Genis had done the same to her, she would have started to get irritated. Of course you’d want to see someone you care for healthy. Of course you would want to help ease their burdens. That was the kind of person that Rinnosuke was…he treasured the few close ties that he had, and he would go to lengths to show that.

…If he keeps this up, perhaps she really might just fall in love with him.

He would sneak in every twenty minutes or so to make sure that she had enough water, and eventually he brings the bowl of soup in for her, setting it aside so it will cool. With some effort she brings herself to sit up, and he adjusts the pillows behind her. He checks her temperature again, and with the help of the ice her fever seems to have lessened a bit. While she knows she can’t stomach very much she feels like she could at least give it a try. So as the bowl was pushed closer to her on the table, he would take a seat back on the bed once again. Raine begins stirring the contents of the soup, they talk about the lessons she was giving where she likely contracted the illness. She was just used to this kind of thing. Kids were lovable little germ factories, after all. She offhandedly asks if he has plans for later since he’s here in the city anyway, but the man cranes his head to the side and looks at her inquisitively. Raine scoops some of her meal to eat as he answers.

“I thought I would stay for the day, actually. I can help you with tidying up and keep checking in. Plus, keep you company, of course.”

Raine chews her food slowly as she absorbs his words, and perhaps it is because her body was already under a lot of stress, but her eyes start to water as she gulps down the spoonful. While she tries to quickly hide it, she’s a bit too weak to start posturing, especially as there is no direction for her turn to not be seen like this. With great concern bordering on panic, Rinnosuke leans forward and asks her what’s wrong, wiping away a stray tear from her chin. Raine shakes her head in response and she smiles.

“Sorry. It’s nothing. I don’t know how to describe it exactly…Hearing you say that just…felt like home.”

#helpingthelongrain #drabble #its just under a readmore bc its long yall

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write-like-you-mean-it · 3 years

Text

A Hunter’s Prey: Heaven and Hell

I woke up with a pound deep within my head. The same feeling as when I first was trapped in the dungeon. My first thought is to move my hands in hopes that everything that had happened wasn’t a dream. Instead of handcuffs, I saw an IV coming from a vein in my arm.

My eyes looked up to see a white room. Medical equipment hovered over every inch of the room. Cords and wires filled any empty space. A small tv was posted high on a wall. It was playing a random commercial for a product nobody was actually going to buy.

I reach down to sit up only for a shock of pain the course through my body. I winced and heard a small beep from one of the many machines. Swiftly a nurse walked into the room. “Oh, you’re awake,” she said.

“What happened?” I ask. My voice was a hoarse whisper. The nurse picked up a pink plastic cup with an orange straw and handed it to me. I took a few sips of the drink. “Where am I?”

“Let me go get the doctor. Do you have anyone here for you?” The nurse seemed so empathetic. Her voice was a calming summer’s day; yet, I knew something was wrong. It was deep within her eyes. I nod my head slowly. “I’ll go get them for you.” With those words, she fluttered away.

I was left in the blank room, sipping on my water, and with a desperate desire to know what happened. I looked down at the blue/green robe with spirals all over it as if it would give me a clue. My mind was a hazy mess from the moment Chrollo carried me into the hospital until now.

“Hey Darling,” said Chrollo as he stopped by one of the corners that lead into my room. He rested himself against the wall. “You scared me for a second. The doctors took you away and wouldn’t let me see you.”

“So you don’t know anything beyond what happened?” I asked. A tiny smirk that only reached half his face was my response. He knew something that I didn’t. They must’ve told him something .

“You didn’t tell me you were pregnant,” he said. “I wouldn't have let you down half a bottle of liquor.” I chuckled while taking another sip of my water.

“That's why I didn’t tell you. I needed one last night of getting drunk before I had to go completely sober. Plus you would’ve known something was off if I hadn’t drank.”

Our conversation was cut short by a lanky doctor walking into the room. For his stature, he had a calm demeanour about him. His eyes were covered by thick glasses. He had a stethoscope around his neck and a clipboard firmly placed in his hand. “Ms. L/N,” he said.

“That’s me,” I say, raising my hand. Chrollo takes a step closer to me. He was close enough to reach out a touch but not enough to make it seem like he was anything other than a friend.

“Nice to see you’re awake. I’m Dr. Bell.” He adjusted his glasses before looking down at his notes. I couldn’t tell if he was gaining his composure or to make sure the notes in the chart were correct. My heart began to race as he looked up to me once again. “As you were aware, you were pregnant. You presented with massive bleeding that could not be controlled without medical intervention. Once you were in the operating room, we noticed that it was an ectopic pregnancy that ruptured inside your fallopian tube. We had to remove any of the damaged tissue which included part of your uterus and one of your ovaries.”

I let the news sink in slowly. My baby was never viable. It was always going to end this route even if Illumi and I stayed together. A few tears rolled down my face as I placed the cup onto the small table next to me. “What does this mean?”

The doctor takes another moment before responding. “It means that there is a greater likelihood you may never have any more children or that another pregnancy like this could occur if you try.”

His words felt like a knife stabbing my heart. I could never have any more children. “I won’t be able to have kids,” I whisper almost to myself.

“You can still produce children. You have one healthy ovary but you are at a greater likelihood for having another pregnancy. Plus the added trauma of removing part of your uterus can decrease your odds but you may be able to still produce a child. Do you have any more questions?”

I wiped away the few tears that threaten to fall from my eyes. My breath quivers as I reach for Chrollo’s hand. I needed something to grasp onto when there seemed like nothing left. He held my hand and stroked it with his thumb. “No. That’s all.”

“If you have any more questions, Daina can help. We have a grief counselor on the premises. I will also be around if you have any questions about the surgery. I’ll be back to check on you in a few hours.”

Chrollo sat down on my bed while my mind wandered more than it had ever done before. Having children had always seemed like a far away journey. It would've happened years down the line until I got pregnant. I didn’t even have enough time to process the idea of having a child before it was ripped from me.

More tears fell from my eyes as Chrollo pushed me into his chest and held me. Sobs wracked my body. He held me until my sobs turned into quiet whimpers and my body still trembled. He was a soft comfort in all of this. “When did you know?” I questioned still pressed against Chrollo.

“The doctor told me while you were asleep.” His hands cupped my head and ran down my back like a father comforting their child. “I asked for updates. The nurse told me while you were being operated on about the baby. Then they told me the full story while you were asleep. I’m sorry, sweetheart”

I pulled away slightly and he dropped his hands. “What am I supposed to do now?”

“You can stay with me still.” I shook my head. I was becoming a burden to him. Chrollo was a criminal. He had to do his job. I would just get in the way of everything.

“No,” I sigh while leaning back against the bed. A soft sigh left Chrollo. He turned to face me once again. “Chrollo, you and I both know that I have to find my own way. If I stay, then you’re going to put the Troupe on hold. They look up to you. They need you. And you said it yourself that they’re getting antsy without a new mission. Especially with what happened in the last one. I’m not fragile. I am not the same person as I was when we first met. You’ve already stayed here 2 weeks longer than you wanted. I may have to stay in this hospital longer than you know. You are also a wanted person. There are still signs posted for your capture. It won’t take too long before someone recognizes you.”

“I can deal-”

“-Chrollo, that's not the point,” I interrupt. “At some point you need to leave once again and I can’t keep coming back for comfort. I need to find my own.”

He takes a deep sigh and turns back to look at the machine taking my heartbeat and other vitals. The silence was one that felt like a distant memory. It was the same silence held between Illumi and I so many times. The silence of feeling like there was more to be said but neither one giving anything. It was like the quiet before a soft rain. It would only break with the soft beep from my heart rate.

“Will you promise me something?” questioned Chrollo. He still didn’t turn to look at me.

“Depends on what you’re asking me to promise you,” I respond.

“Promise me that you’ll forgive me.”

“What’d you do?” His question caught me off guard. He hasn’t done anything unforgivable. In fact, he’s been the only shining beacon through this whole situation.

“I called Illumi.” My heart rate spiked. The beeping became faster.

“You what?”

“It’s his child too, darling,” he sighed before finally looking at me. “He needed to know. I also called Machi but she’s too far away to come here. Her and a few others of the Troupe were on their own mission.”

“Y-you called Illumi,” I stuttered. Even though it’s been almost a month since I’ve seen his face, I’ve thought about him every day. Most of my thoughts loomed about how terrible he was and the others were how much I craved his touch. “You called my ex.”

“I had to,” Chrollo muttered.

“Where is he?”

“In the waiting room. He’s been here since the middle of your surgery. I didn’t tell him anything.” Chrollo picked up my hand before I pulled away. “Sweetheart, you know I had to call him.”

“What do you think it's going to do?” I ask. Anger filled my voice. “I already told you that all he ever wanted was a child. Do you want me to get rejected again? Do you want me to go through all this trauma only to open up wounds that I have been trying to heal for the past month? You should have known this was a dumb fucking idea. You shouldn’t have called him. You shouldn’t have told him where I was. You shouldn’t have allowed him into this building.”

Chrollo listened as I spouted more hate-filled anger his way. A flurry of emotions wrecked me. I knew my ex was right outside in the waiting room and I couldn’t even think about seeing his face. The raven-haired man smiled before putting his hand to my face and wiping a few tears. “You should see him. Something changed.”

“I don’t want to see him.”

“That’s your choice. If you want, I can tell him to leave. I doubt he will but I can.”

I lean into Chrollo’s touch. He wipes a few more tears. “Sweetheart,” he says. “You should talk to him. Even if this is the final time. It’ll be good for you both. I know deep within your heart that you knew the last time you left him that you were going to see him again. Now, this can be a finale. You can say goodbye for good so that both of you can have closure. I’ll be here for you.”

A few more tears leave my eyes. “I’m scared,” I whisper.

“I know. But you’ll regret it if you don’t. Plus it would be better to hear it from you rather than hear it from me.”

I sigh before nodding my head. It was time that I face my demons before they get out of control. Last time, I was the one in charge. I think it's time that we had a conversation where we were both on equal playing fields. “I’ll go get him.”

When Chrollo left, I felt like a cold hollow of my former self. My hands shook in my lap. Maybe it was the pain medication in my system but there was a calming relief that washed over my body. I, however, was not prepared to come face-to-face with him again. My heart skipped a few beats when his eye locked on mine. His tall frame almost hit the top of the door frame. A smile came to my lips. He really did come to make sure I was alright. Even though a few minutes ago I never wanted to see Illumi again, I’m still caught in his web of falling for him.

#a hunter's prey #illumi #illumi x reader #illumi x y/n #HunterXHunter #hxh #chapter 43

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jbbarnesnnoble · 4 years

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Let Me Go

Summary: When your fiance returns from his deployment, things aren’t the same. With your band getting ready to go full steam into your debut album, Bucky becomes too much, and you know that if your relationship is going to survive and be healthy, you need to go.

Features: Angst; Happy ending; mentions of Bucky losing his arm;

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Reader

Notes: This has been a WIP for a while that I kept coming back to. I almost scrapped this. Their relationship isn’t healthy at the start, but that’s why things play out how they do.

EDIT: forgot to mention, Kisses at Airports is a 100% real song by the amazing Cassadee Pope

Word Count: 2352

A wandering soul, a dreamer, a lover. The adjectives ascribed to you by the ones you loved, by the ones you were willing to lose in the pursuit of your dreams. You had dreams and staying was keeping you from them. You knew he never meant to keep you like a caged bird, he never realized that it was what he was doing.

He excuses for why you shouldn’t do something were weak. “It’s too far”, “Have you seen the crime rate there?”, “what if something happens and I’m not there?”. You loved him. You did. But he clung to you like a leech, slowly draining you of your dreams of a life far away. It wasn’t healthy. He had his own issues to work through and he never would if you stayed. It hadn’t always been that way. You remembered a time when it wasn’t that way, where he wasn’t the one thing holding you back from your dreams.

The summer air was filled with the scent of freshly made funnel cakes, spun sugar of cotton candy, and the smell of fresh rain. You had gone for cover in one of the buildings on the fairground, watching as the rain fell. His arms were wrapped around you, his left hand holding on to the cotton candy that had nearly fallen victim to the rain outside. You held tight to the moment. He’d be leaving soon, and moments like those were ones to cherish.

“Think you’ll still get to play?” he asked as he tore a piece off and held it to your lips. You took the bit of sugary fluff into your mouth, smiling at the artificial taste of grape. It always had been a favorite of yours.

“Wait for it. The show must go on,” you told him, nodding toward the bay doors where the rain was clearing. He laughed as you pulled him out of the building and toward the stage that was set up. Music was your passion. You dreamed of Nashville, of playing the Ryman, of one day joining the Opry.

You had a band, a group that had been friends since childhood. They were your family, not by blood but by shared experiences. Natasha Romanoff was a badass with a guitar, Wanda Maximoff was a hell of a drummer, something no one ever expected. They always thought Nat would be the drummer and Wanda would be a guitarist or a fiddle player. Sharon Carter was your bass player, and Wanda’s brother Pietro was your keyboard player. The East Coast Connection was what you’d called yourselves since high school. Now, four years later, you were close to being able to head to Nashville and really try.

The two of you found your friends. Steve was helping with the setup, but it looked more like he was getting distracted by Sharon. The pair had gotten married earlier in the summer. Carol Danvers was an addition to your close-knit group. Carol was a welcome addition, along with Sam Wilson. Carol, who Wanda had fallen head over heels with. They worked with Steve in New York, with the FDNY. You spotted Peter, MJ, and Ned in the mix. It seemed like everyone was there, everyone except…

“Where’s Barton?” you heard Bucky ask. Everyone paused and looked around. You swore you saw Nat swear under her breath. Clint Barton on the loose at the end of summer fair was never a good thing. You remembered the year he managed to take off with the entire pot of clams that had been put out for the annual seafood dinner night that was part of the fundraising efforts of the volunteer fire department that put on the fair.

No one could forget the year Clint managed to hide terrifying-looking clowns in the Funhouse. 11-year-old Peter Parker ran out screaming and his Aunt May went on a warpath to find Clint. That was the summer before you entered 8th grade. Bucky, Steve, and Clint were a year ahead of you with Nat. Your year had the twins, Wade Wilson, who still showed up at random, though no one knew exactly what he was up to since high school, and Bruce Banner.

Clint, as it turned out, had gone to meet Tony Stark. Not only did Stark own Stark Industries, but he had ventured into other industries, namely the music industry with a start-up based out of Nashville. Tony had been a senior your freshman year. His parents prided themselves on the fact that he went to public school, never mind the fact that your school was one of the top in the state. As far as you knew, Stark had settled down recently and was expecting a child with his wife Pepper.

By the time Clint showed up with Tony, the band had taken the stage. You were so wrapped up in the show, you didn’t notice them. You slowed things down a bit in the middle of the set.

“This song...I wrote it thinking about something I really don’t want to think about. It’s called Kisses at Airports,” you said. You nodded your head to the beat, doing your best not to cry as the song neared the end.

“How many times do we take for granted? Kisses at airports, by open car doors, no I don’t wanna let go. I just wanna make sure you know, this one means I missed you. This one means I’m going to, make every one I give you baby be a little more, like kisses at airports, like kisses at airports,” you sang. You didn’t let yourself look at Bucky until the last note, seeing the emotion on his face clearly.

You hadn’t played that one for him. You weren’t sure it was because you wanted it to be a surprise or because you didn’t want to acknowledge the truth. He was deploying soon, hopefully for the last time if you had it your way. His enlistment was up at the end of this one. He had been lucky enough to be stationed back home this time before deploying.

You snapped out of your thoughts with the slam of the front door, followed by a muffled stream of curses. Alpine jumped from her perch on your lap. The ring you wore sat heavy on your left hand. He had proposed before he left, nearly a year ago. Four months in, you got the news about his injury. Two months later, he was home. You and the band had been in the studio, having signed on with Tony’s label. The amount of creative freedom he’d given you had shocked you.

When you’d found out about Bucky’s injury, Tony made sure the band could stay in the area, that you had the support. Tony was the reason Bucky had a top of the line, custom made prosthetic. It was one of a kind.

The past six months had been filled with physiotherapy and with Bucky’s visits to a therapist. It did nothing to quell the storm raging in his head. You could tell that much. You felt awful, for thinking about leaving. Felt like you were kicking him while he was down. Losing his arm and his fiancee in quick succession? It wouldn’t be forever. You knew his mental health wasn’t your responsibility, that distance was necessary. Nashville was the focal point, where the two of you couldn’t agree. He needed to stay in the area. His doctors were there. Tony was there. His new job with Stark Industries was there.

You looked up when he came in. He looked exhausted. For a moment, you felt your resolve crumble. You had a bag packed, sitting beside you with your guitar. You were just waiting for your ride. Steve would be coming over after you left, you and the band heading for Nashville to do the things you needed to. The networking, the shows, preparing for the album launch.

“Where are you going?” Bucky asked, his voice cracking. You sighed.

“James…,” you started to say.

“You’re leaving me. I need you here,” he said. You shook your head.

“It’s not healthy. This. Whatever this is right now. We need time apart and the band...we have so much to do before the album comes out. You and I...we’re not good for each other right now, Buck,” you said.

“You’re leaving me,” he repeated. You stood up, placing your hand gently on his cheek, leaning to kiss him. He held you tight, not wanting to let go.

“It’s not forever. You need to let me go, James,” you said. He rested his forehead against yours. Conflict swirled around him.

“What if I don’t want to?” he asked. Your breath caught in your throat as you felt the familiar sting of tears.

“You have to. This...what we’ve been since you came home...it’s not healthy. It’s not good. It’s not good for you. It’s not good for me. I won’t be gone forever. But you have to learn how to let me go again. You have to. This...whatever this has been...we need the time apart before we destroy ourselves,” you said, your voice breaking. The two of you sat in silence, holding one another, until a knock came at the door, along with a text from Sharon. Clint was driving you all to the airport and had dropped Steve off. You grabbed your bag and your guitar, Bucky trailing behind you.

“Please,” he whispered. You shook your head.

“It’s for the best,” you said, kissing him one last time before you walked out the door and to the car. You couldn’t bring yourself to look back as Steve ushered him back into the house. You felt your heart break a little more. It wasn’t forever, you reminded yourself.

In the car, you just shook your head when Natasha asked about what had happened. You stared out the window as Clint pulled away, the sunlight catching on your ring as you left Bucky in the rearview.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nashville was a lot of things, but it wasn’t home. You enforced a strict policy of two phone calls a week with Bucky. The first week you had been gone, he was constantly calling and texting to check on you. You reminded him that you needed the space. You both needed it, even if he was unwilling to see it. One month passed, and then the second and a third. Four months passed and the album was releasing. To your surprise, the band had been asked to play the Opry. Before that the band was appearing on a radio show. You knew you were going to be asked about the songs, about your relationship. You wished he could be there. Once upon a time, he had been your most vocal supporter, promising to be there for every milestone he could. If the others knew what was on your mind as you sat waiting for the interview to start, they didn’t let on.

“You have this song, Kisses at Airports, what was the inspiration there?” Bobby asked. You sighed.

“My fiance is...was in the military. He joined right out of high school. He’s home now, but those years...those years were filled with kisses at airports, saying goodbye without saying goodbye,” you explained.

“Will he be at the Opry debut?” he asked. You bit your lip.

“It’s up in the air. He’s recovering at the moment,” you said, unwilling to give a deeper answer than that. You were checked out for the rest of the interview, Nat and Sharon doing most of the talking while Wanda and Pietro watched you with concern. You were quiet when the interview ended and you were heading to the venue. It wasn’t until you got to the dressing room that Wanda brought up the elephant in the room.

“You want him here, don’t you?” she asked. You nodded.

“He’s my best friend. Of course I want him here,” was all you said. You were more subdued through the afternoon as the band prepared for the show. You were nervous, more nervous than you’d been for any show you’d ever done. This was the Opry. How many greats had stood in that circle before you?

As you stepped onto the stage after the band was introduced, you looked out at the crowd. You tried to commit it to memory. Second only to the day Bucky proposed to you, this was the best day of your life. The opening chords of Kisses at Airports started and you didn’t have to think as you sang, Bucky on your mind.

When you got off the stage, you were surprised to see a crowd outside the dressing room. Steve was there for Sharon. But with Steve was someone you didn’t expect. Bucky. When the two of you had spoken earlier in the week, he mentioned not being sure he could fly out. Between him not feeling comfortable traveling and his new job, you understood. But there in front of you was Bucky. You smiled at him. He looked surprised as you hugged him, squishing the flowers he held. After a moment, he laughed before he picked you up and spun you around. His laughter was a sound you had missed so much. Before you had left, you wondered if you would ever hear it again.

He was doing better than he was the day you left for Nashville. Therapy helped you both. Texting was a daily thing now, phone calls whenever one of you just wanted to hear the other. You looked at him, really looked at him. He looked rested, more than he had in the six months leading up to your departure.

“Missed you,” he said, his voice low. You smiled.

“Missed you too,” you replied before leaning to kiss him.

“Alright lovebirds, let’s get going. We have dinner reservations,” Natasha said, breaking the two of you out of the bubble you had found yourselves in. For a moment, it had been as if no one else was there, just the two of you, finally back together again.

#bucky barnes #Bucky Barnes Fanfic #bucky barnes/reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes reader insert #marvel fanfic #marvel reader insert #marvel fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes imagine

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wanderingsoul · 3 years

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questions to ask yourself before the new year except its february and we’re in a pandemic

what is one small way you can become a better person? for others? for yourself?

i can become a better person by addressing the trauma that i carry, and addressing it, and learning to cope with it better. i can be a better friend, parter, daughter and sister by leaning into the parts of myself that are broken and taking the time to pursue healing in meaningful ways. i can become a better person by taking responsibility for my growth and healing and actively work towards a more healed, wholesome version of myself.

what are you holding onto currently that is no longer serving you? why are you holding on? what’s one small step you can take towards releasing it?

i am holding on to the idea that i can fix those around me. being in a partnership/friendship with someone that openly expresses brokenness pulls on the need inside of me to fix things, and fix her. except thats not how people work, and thats not how healthy relationships work. i am holding on to this because for a long time, and sometimes i think to this day, i have been the glue for so many people. i am the common denominator, i am the steady, i am the savior. and being with alexa is a challenge because i have to be fully present, and wanting to support, with the very present knowledge that i can do absolutely nothing to make her feel better, and i might get my feelings hurt if i try.

goal for the new year that excites me? goal that scares me?

the goal that excites me the most this year is buying a house. it feels like another piece in the puzzle of the ever-elusive “perfect life”. having a house, two cats and a garden is a dream that i am so desperately hoping becomes a reality this year.

a goal that scares me is getting a therapist. i put it on my new years goals and here we are, almost march and i am no closer to reaching that goal. there are lots of things about therapy that are scary, being vulnerable mostly. and also the fear that i am going to open a can of worms that i can’t put back. and at the same time, i am afraid i am going to do the same thing i did last time - convince my therapist i was completely healed and didn’t need her help anymore to make her feel like she did a good job. probably one of the most toxic people pleasing i have ever done.... yikes. so this year, i want to be vulnerable and open with a therapist- and truly learn from them.

what do you want to be a student of in the new year?

i want to be the student of self-love this year. i feel like i have so much to learn from her, and truly so much to gain. as i am on this journey of ~weight loss~ healthy living i want to learn how to truly love myself- in all the forms that i take. one of the childhood and teen traumas that i carry around is self-loathing for my physical body, and extreme uncomfortableness i feel inside of her. my body was different than i thought it should be, and i never felt thin or pretty enough. even though looking back i could not have been any thinner without blowing away. as i try and lose some weight to get back to a healthy range, its so tempting to chase that skinniness that seems closer than ever now. i don’t ever want to think about my body in a good or bad way again, the same with food. i want it all to be neutral and purposeful. i don’t want body positivity, i just want body neutrality. i want to be comfortable and unbothered. i want to take pictures and look for the joy and not be hyperfocused on the rolls.

a quote that i am taking with me on this journey -

“what if you wake up some day, and you’re 65, or 75, and you never got your memoir or novel written, or you didn’t go swimming in warm pools and oceans all those years because your things were jiggly and you had a nice big comfortable tummy; or you were just so strung out on perfectionism and people-pleasing that you forgot to have a big juice creative life of imagination and radical silliness and staring off into space like when you were a kid? it’s going to break your heart. don’t let this happen.” - author unknown

who in your life deserves the biggest thank you for this year?

i am thankful for karl because of his understanding of me. i am thankful for mikaela for being a rock in my life and a cheerleader. i am thankful for silka because she offers more love than i know what to do with. i am thankful for alexa because she pushes me to be a better person. i am thankful for my mom, and her patience with me as i grow. i am thankful for my dad, and the hands-off role he has taken in my life. i am thankful for the friends that were patient and kind with me this year as i stayed away from most of them.

what can you thank yourself for this year?

i am thankful for the resiliency and grit it took to get through this year. feeling extremely burnt-out, from the pandemic, from social work and from life. managed to get a new job which is furthering my career in the healthcare field, managing to save a little money to buy a house. making it through the panic attacks and crying in the car at the thought of the losses in my life. thankfulness for the home that i have in myself, and the peace and safety i offer myself to be who i am and to encourage growth.

what have you outgrown this year?

i have outgrown pointless complaining. life is what you make it (to some degree) and i am choosing joy where i can and peace towards things i cannot affect.

what is an important boundary to set in the new year?

it is important to me this year to set emotional boundaries this year and create language to protect myself when i find myself trying to fix my partner and getting into old negative habits.

what’s a memory from this past year that makes you smile just thinking about it?

now this one’s a bit challenging because of the pandemic and social tension of this year, but i am choosing to focus on the personal good that happened in my life.

january- three way kiss with mariah and alexa. iceskating in CVS field with dalton. getting naked in the woods at taylors falls.

february - tall heights concert. drinks at cowboys with emily, alexa, sarah and meghan. raincloud and strawberry tattoos.

march - up/down bar with jaden and silka-getting mexican at 3am. cuddles on the couch with hippo while everyone was gone over spring break. drinking wine and looking at art at bethel. christian living on our couch- hiking afton. our neighbor mark gets his dog ella.

april- doordashing with knute- danny davito picture. staying with karl and mikaela for 3 weeks. getting drunk with jimu // garage door beer challenge. getting to ride on todd’s motorcycle.

may- seeing juneau for the first time. knute’s “just friends” instagram post. biking along st. croix with john. fishing with jaden at rapidan dam. lilac bushes blooming at the ranch. alexa’s graduation surprise. rollerblading... canoeing lake iduhapi with callie, sam, alexa and knute and smearing ourselves in charcoal. eating chinese and drinking wine for alexa’s birthday.

june- watching the dad’s try and fit our couch into the house. GFS- nightwatches, curfews. birthday bagels on the balcony. celebration at camp iduhapi. biking in northfield with jen. adopting juneau! bringing her everywhere with me. fathers day with john eating tacos. breonna taylor march. getting drenched walking around bdemakaska.

july- bee’s knees tattoo. cabin trip to barnum lake with alexa and jen. celebrating anthony’s birthday with alexa and erin (moving the gravestone). duluth trip with sam, knute and lea - jumping into lake superior. trip to padre island with john-getting way too burnt to function. chic fil a drivethrough with juneau.

august- camping trip with mikaela -attempt to get into canada and immediatly denied. murder mystery at emily’s house. rain on the patio for emily’s birthday. golden retriever puppies. dinner date with emma downtown minneapolis. annual brule trip- flipped the canoe.

september - alexa and i take a fake trip to ny. celebrating john’s birthday. visiting jeff’s farm. celebrating jen’s birthday in northfield. shooting pumpkins with jen. another trip up to barnum lake with karl, mikaela and seth. minnehaha trip with emma. jack’s apple farm trip.

october- camp trip, reffing football. making apple crisp. murder mystery night for sarah’s birthday. thrifting outdoor outlet with emma and lea. hanging with ozzy the cat. photoshoot with alexa and hippo. halloween party at caitlin’s house- being velma and daphne with alexa.

november - start working at bluestone. dinner at pub in minneapolis with jen where we die laughing. winning monopoly with callie and tyler. hiawatha hike with alexa. thanksgiving at silka’s.

december - giving the cats a bath. accidentally breaking into a cemetery with alexa. muffin’s christmas photoshoot. christmas at jens. sea world with molly, kody and kids, seth, john, k&m -forcing ourselves to watch blackfish the next day. tattoos! hammocking by the river. almost running into the elementary school on jimu’s dirtbike.

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lovemychoices · 5 years

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Always Be My Driver - A RoD Rom-Com [Colt x MC/Logan x MC]. CH 3

Book : RIDE OR DIE

PAIRING : Colt x MC/ Logan x MC

SUMMARY: Emma and Colt have been childhood best friends since forever, they were both inseparable. In middle school they became something more but when Colt had to move with his mom away from LA all the way to Miami, things started to change between them. A small misunderstanding leads to the end of their relationship. Years later they meet again at the most unlikely place. Will Emma and Colt be able to mend what has been broken between them? Or will it continue to crash and burn?

Characters except my OCs belong to Pixelberry, I am just borrowing them

Word count : 3500 ish..

Chapter Summary: Now that Colt is back and spending the whole summer at the shop, will things get better between him and Emma?

A/N : So this chapter was sort of inspired by an episode of FRIENDS. If you’re a big fan of the comedy series than you know why. 😬 Also this is a dialogue heavy chapter. Plus I hope you can look past my grammatical errors, which must be a lot cause I haven’t done much polishing.

Warning/Triggers : Pretty safe PG-13 stuff... for now.. *Evil laughs here* But just to be safe make sure you’re 18 and above before you read this series.

Catch up with the series HERE

Dear Diary,

This past year has been awesome. I met the most amazing guy, who I am so in love with and best part is he loves me back. Made a few awesome new friends along the way, got in to the perfect school, kept up good grades, won a lot of races.. you get the whole idea.

But see here’s the thing, just when you think things are perfect, life somehow manages to find a way and kick you in the gut. Yes I’m talking about a recent visit of a certain someone from my past. Colt Kaneko. As if meeting your ex boyfriend who you haven’t seen in like forever wasn’t weird enough. Now we have to live under the same roof for the entire summer.

That’s not even the worst part, the worst part is he acts like I don’t exist. The only time he talks to me is when he has something snarky to say other than that he completely ignores me. I mean it’s not like I care. This first time I noticed this was when Colt came walking into the garage asking for a sharpie. I offered to borrow him mine, I tried to be the mature one by offering him an olive branch and you know what he did?! He gave me the look and said he’d just buy a new one from the store. I literally had on right there in front of him and he just.. He is acting like I was the bad guy and was responsible for us breaking up.

Logan doesn’t know about our history at least the part where we dated. He already can’t stand Colt, why should I stir the pot hot on something that happened when we were kids. It’s not like I’m still in love with Colt Kaneko.

I’m not in love with Colt Kaneko.

[[MORE]]

A few days later..

Okay Emma this is your chance, just walk up to him and ask him what’s his problem. You’ve tried to be nice but if he is gonna be a jerk about it..

“Colt.”

He turns around then raises an eyebrow at her.

Why are you being such an asshole to me?

“The customer with the broken tail light wants to know if his car is already fixed?”

“I’ll be out to see him in a minute.” He answers flatly.

“Ok, cool I’ll let him know.” Well that worked out great.

****

A week later..

Colt slumps on the couch in the backroom reading the latest edition of top gear while Mona sat across him busy texting on her phone when Toby enters. “Hey Colt, Mona. Ximena and I are heading out for lunch. Wanna come?”

“I just ate so I’m gonna sit this one out.” Mona replies and shift her focus back to her phone.

“Sure, I’ve got nothing better to do here anyway.” Colt responds then tosses the Megazine on the table.

“Anyone saw Logan and Emma?”

Logan and Emma walks in with their face flush and hands entwined, Emma giggles at something that Logan whispers in her ear. Colt rolled his eyes at the sight and pretends to scroll on his phone, anything to avoid looking at the two.

“Oh. Hey didn’t notice you guys were here.”

“Great timing we were just looking for both of you. Where have the two of you been?” Ximena asks raising an eyebrow at them while folding her arms.

Emma and Logan gave each other coy smiles. “We were at the loft.. getting some workout done. Gotta stay healthy these days you know.”

“Right…” Ximena answer in a skeptical voice. “So we’re about to go out for lunch. You two want to join us?”

“Oh that sounds awesome. What do you say babe?” She turns and beams at Logan.

“Yeah sure I could use a bite to eat after all that workout.” He replies emphasizing on the word followed by a grin.

Colt gave a sarcastic eye roll again. “I think I just lost my appetite.” He mutters under his breath but it was enough for Mona who’s sitting near him to hear. She raises her eyebrow but doesn’t say anything at least not yet.

“So it’s settled.. Oh I call shotgun!” Toby beams excitedly and heads for the door, the others follow behind. “Colt, aren’t you coming?” Ximena asked.

“Nah.. You guys go ahead. I’ve got a bunch of stuff to do anyway.”

“I thought you said you didn’t have anything better to do a few minutes ago.” Mona pressed.

“Yeah, well I do now.” Colt retorts giving Mona glaring look.

“Alright if you say so..” and left with the others leaving Colt and Mona behind. Colt grabs the TV remote from the coffee table, surfing the channels to avoid having a conversation with Mona.

“So, What’s the deal between your and korean barbie?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t play dumb Colt, we both know you’re too smart for that. Now spill the beans or I’ll find out myself one way or the other.” She demanded with her arms crossed.

“Honestly Mona it’s none of your business. And why do you care so much?” He seethes.

Mona snorts a laugh. “I don’t.. But I like knowing things because knowing things gives you leverage. So talk junior.”

“We were friends and now we’re not. End of story, now leave me alone.” He abruptly stood up and starts walking towards the door.

“Colt,wait! I don’t know what went down between you and Emma but that was a long time ago, you were just kids and she’s been trying to reconcile since you got her.” She heaves a sigh. “All I’m saying is you’ve been friends before and I’m sure there were more good times than bad. Emma is a pretty good friend, hell don’t tell her I said this but she’s a great friend. And a friendship with her isn’t worth losing over some silly fight you had as kids.”

Colt gave Mona a thoughtful look. Who knew Mona had a soft side. I hate to admit it but maybe she’s right? He shook his head and without a word walks out, closing the door behind him.

****

A few nights later..

“Emma, oh thank God. Listen what ever happened we can fix this okay. Just talk to me please.” Colt pleaded his voice cracking.

“Colt, I don’t want to talk. I don’t want to hear excuses. We’re over for good. I’ve changed my number so don’t bother trying to contact me you won’t get through. Goodbye Colt, I hope you’ll be happy there.”

“Emma, wait!”

“How could you?”

She turns around and sees.. “Logan?”

“How could you lie to me Em, I thought we promised each other no more secrets.”

“Logan, what are you talking about?”

“I think we need a break and probably shouldn’t see each other for awhile.”

“What? Logan no wait!”

Emma wakes up covered in sweat trying to catch her breath. Logan lying next to her with her head on his chest, she could feel his chest gently rise and fall as he breathes.

She heaves a sigh of relief. It was just a bad dream.

The sound of thunder rumbling, echoes through the night sky and catches her attention.

Great as if the nightmares weren’t enough now there’s rain and thunder outside.

She closes her eyes and tries to go back to sleep but between the rumbling noise of the thunder and thinking about the dream of Colt and Logan, it just made her insomnia go into overdrive.

This is so frustrating! I can’t sleep! maybe I need some milk or a late night snack.

She gently moves Logan’s arm, careful not to wake him. She puts on a pair of bunny slippers and slip out of the room, slowly closing the door behind her before heading down stairs.

*****

The whole place was extremely quiet since everyone was asleep, the only sound she could hear was the loud continuous sound of thunder crashing in the background. She opens the door to the back room and sees Colt bending down in front of the microwave.

“Colt?”

Colt jumps at the sound of Emma’s voice with one hand pressed to his chest. “Christ! Emma you almost gave me a heart attack. What are you doing down here at this hour?”

“I couldn’t sleep.” She said and saunters over to the island, taking a seat on the stool. “What are you doing making popcorn at this hour?”

“Isn’t it obvious? Why would anyone make popcorn?” Colt replies in a flat voice. “So what’s got you up at this hour? Prince charming a loud snorer or something?”

“I’ll have you know he sleeps like a baby.”

“So he cries in his sleep a lot?” He grinned.

Emma rolls her eyes at him. “This was a bad idea, I’m going back to bed.” She got off the bar stool and turns toward the door.

“Em, wait.” He stops her before she could leave. Emma turns back to face him. “What now Colt?” Her voice flat when she answers. This better not be another snarky comment about Logan.

Colt nervously rubs the back of his neck. I can’t believe I’m doing this. “Look if you want, you can watch the movie with me and I’ll even share my popcorn. It’s.. melted butter and caramel.”

Damn it, that’s my favorite! Emma crosses her arms giving him a skeptical look. “What’s the catch?”

“Why’d you think there’s a catch?”

“Uh… I don’t know maybe cause you’ve been sort of a jerk and Ignoring me since you’ve got here?”

“I wasn’t being a jerk. I was just… Look do you want to watch the movie or not? Decide before I change my mind.”

Well I can’t sleep so might as well, nothing wrong with watching a movie right? “Ok fine. Only because melted butter and caramel is my favorite.” She replies and saunters over to take a seat on the couch.

Colt joins her a few seconds later handing her the bowl of popcorn.“So what are we watching?” She asked while nibbling on a piece of popcorn in her hand.

”The Conjuring.” He murmured while looking through the options on the screen.

“The what?!” She belted sitting up right from her slouched position. “There’s a real scary thunderstorm out there and you want to add to the terror by watching a horror movie?”

“It adds a cool effect to the experience Em.” He emphasized then gave her a questioning look. “You’re not still afraid of some silly storm after all these years?”

Emma throws her body back on the couch, her eyes focused on the popcorn that she keeps stuffing in her mouth.

Colt snorts a laugh. “Really Em? I thought you’d outgrow this silly fear by now.”

“I’m not afraid anymore but that doesn’t mean I like it either. Not everyone can be as cool as you Colt.” She said and gave a sarcastic eye roll.

“There first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem.” He grinned.

“Can we just get this over with already? But I'm warning you if some scary shit goes down I’m jumping right at you.”

Colt shrugged. “Fine, whatever.”

The movie played on for about thirty minutes and the two watched it in silence sitting Five inches apart from each other. There were a few awkward moments in between like their hands accidentally touching while trying to grab some popcorn, both quickly shy away as they did..

As the movie progressed and got scarier Emma started to move closer to Colt closing the gap from three to two inches, her hands nervously fidgets with a lock of her hair. Colt noticed this from the corner of his eye and grinned. Damn it, she's still cute when she gets flustered. He subtly shift his body closer to her and clears his throat. “So um, how long have you been with Logan?” He bit his tongue and cringed as soon as he heard the words come out from his mouth.

“A little over a year now.” She answered. “It was at Billy’s party during senior year.”

“Billy? As in big bully Billy? Shouldn’t he have graduated by then?” He cocked an eyebrow.

“The very same, he got held back for failing a few classes. Anyway Logan was there to deliver a car to Brent. Long story short that’s how we met.” She explained and stuff a few more popcorn in her mouth.

“Hey remember that one time you kicked Billy in the nuts?” Colt recalled grinning.

Emma chuckled. “How could I forget, he was going to punch you for calling him a wuss and I guess.. My self defense instinct just kicked in.”

Colt gave a half shrug. “I could have taken him you know..”

The two shared a look before eventually bursting into laughter at the memory of that day. And there it was the sound Colt didn’t realize he missed so much until that moment. It was the sound of her laughter.

Their laughter slowly fades and there was a minute of silence before Emma decides to broach the question back. “So uh.. What about you? Do you have someone special waiting for you back in college?”

Colt gives half shrug.“I don’t really do relationships. I mean I’ve dated a bunch but nothing serious.”

“Oh. Yeah sure I completely understand.” Change the subject Emma you just made progress don’t blow it.

The two continued to chatting and laughing at stories basically ignoring the whole movie. “I really miss this you know... just talking to you.” She confeses giving him a sincere smile. “I miss talking to you too.”

A piece of popcorn got caught on Emma’s long rose gold hair and Colt reaches his hand out to take it. “You um. You have some popcorn stuck on your hair.” He said, his fingers brushed against her cheeks and there was this intense gaze between them for a moment, Emma could feel her cheeks start to blush. Shit Em look away before you do something stupid. Emma tilts her head down, averting her eyes from Colt. “We um—. Should get back to watching the movie.”

Colt blinks and shakes his head. “Yeah totally.” He agreed but there was a slight disappointment to his tone. He leans back on the couch, looking at the TV then back at Emma.

“Hey, so there’s The Conjuring 2 if you want to watch it after this?”

It was well after 2am, the rain was still heavy outside and she found the first movie one scary as shit but somehow Emma didn’t want their time together to end so soon.

“I’d like that.”

The two continued to chat as they watched the movie, both making snarky comments when a character in the movie was being stupid, sometimes debating about what the whole thing was about.

“What’s with the Nun, is it a ghost or something?” Emma asked curiously.

“It’s not really a ghost, it’s a demon. They actually already did the origin story about it.”

There was a sudden loud sound of thunder outside the building at the same time a frightening scene from the movie appeared, Emma instinctive moves right next to Colt, her hands clutching onto his arm while she buries her face in his chest.

Oh.my.god did I just bury my face in Colt’s chest? Damn it, why does he smell so good. Well this just got awkward. Maybe he didn’t notice.

She tilts her chin up and sees Colt looking at her cocking an eyebrow. “Sorry.. Reflexes” She said in a shaky voice. “Do. Do you mind?

“It’s alright.” He grinned.

Emma sits right up and raises an eyebrow at him. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing. It’s just..I think it’s cute that you’re still afraid of a little thunder after all these years.”

“Shut up, Colt.” She said then playfully swats him on the shoulder before leaning back right next to him. Colt wiggles his arm from behind her back and wraps it around her shoulders just like old times whenever they would watch a movie together. “If you’re gonna lean on me at least give my arm somewhere comfortable to rest.”

It wasn’t long before the two eventually fell asleep laying on the couch. Colt had one arm wrapped around Emma as she lay her head on his chest.

They wake up a few hours later as the sunlight pierce through the window hitting their eyes. Colt slowly rubs his eyes and lets out a yawn, when he finally opens them he sees Emma fluttering her eyes open. Both still feeling half asleep.

Shit! Did we just fall asleep on the couch together? Damn, I forgot how cute she looks when she’s tired. Okay, play it cool like it’s no big deal.

“Morning.” He smiled.

Shit, did I just fall asleep in Colt’s arms? He’s so warm and comfortable to sleep on. Not that Logan isn’t.. Oh shit he just said good morning to me. Is he freaked out? He doesn’t seem freaked out. Play it cool Emma.

“Morning.” She sheepishly smiled back.

“Ahem!” Mona croaked.

Emma and Colt’s eyes go wide open when they realize they weren’t alone. They turn their heads to see Mona grinning with her arms folded, Ximena with her hands on her waist and Toby munching on some fruit loops.

They both sit up with a jolt, the other three continue to stand and stare. “We um… Anyone hungry?” Emma nervously chuckles, getting up from the couch. “I could really go for some omelettes and bacon.”

“I need to use the bathroom.” Colt mentions and excuses himself from the bathroom.

“So this is going to be a whole thing now?” Toby murmurs to the other two ladies.

“Apparently…” Mona replies with a grin. “Now let the games begin.”

*****

It was quiet around the table as the five ate their breakfast, so quiet that Mona could hear the sound of Toby’s teeth crushing the fruit loops in his mouth from across the table. Colt was seated in front of Emma and Mona between them, her eyes move back and forth at the two, who were awkwardly trying to avoid looking at each other for a second there they failed but quickly move their gaze away.

Ugh… Watching these two is more depressing than that finally episode of Game of Thrones. I wonder what’s going on in their heads?

What were you thinking Colt? Last night was a mistake, you weak son of a bitch! It only takes one smile.. One smile and suddenly she’s all I can think about. Who am I kidding I’ve been thinking about her since that night at the sideshow and that was before I knew who she was. It’s like we're magnets and there’s this strong force trying to pull us together.

He quickly tries to get a glance at her and it’s as if she could read his mind, she tilts her head up and gazes back at him. They both quickly avert their eyes mere seconds later. Colt shakes his head.

No You can’t do this, she broke your heart Colt. There’s a reason why You have all these walls up and You don’t plan on letting them down anytime soon. Just get through this summer as friends and nothing else. After that you won’t have to see her again.

Emma you’re such an idiot, falling asleep with Colt Kaneko, even if it wasn’t intentional and you didn’t do anything wrong but still! Why, after everything that’s happened between us, last night hanging out, it somehow still feels like home when we’re together. No! No! Get yourself together Emma you have a boyfriend who’s sweet and kind, who loves you and would never break your heart. OMG! I forgot about Logan, he already hates Colt’s guts. I can’t imagine what he would do if he found out and not just about falling asleep on the couch thing but about our history. I haven’t told him yet about the part where we dated at least and I don’t know if I should, Colt’s only going to be here for the summer then he’s back to wherever he came from. We can get through this few weeks as friends. Hmm.. Honestly I’m surprised Colt hasn’t said anything to him, since he seems to like getting into Logan’s skin.

“Morning.” Logan announces himself as he enters. He glares at Colt before taking a seat on the empty chair next to Emma.

“Morning beautiful.” He grins and kissing her on the lips. She could see Colt roll his eyes from the corner of her eye but pretends to ignore it.

“You’re dressed early today?” She smiled

“Boss needs me to get somethings done today, thought I get an early start.” He pauses to look at her. “Why aren’t you dressed? You’re usually the one who gets ready before I do.”

“Yeah.. Umm… I decided to take it slow today. Bacon?” She offers Logan a piece on her fork and he takes a bite, moaning as he did. Colt merely oggles at the site, if he keeps it up at this rate he is going to get a headache before noon.

“Aw how sweet, I’m not even pregnant and I suddenly got morning sickness just by looking at the two of you.” Mona said in a sarcastic tone.

“You jealous Mona?” Logan sneered.

Okay time to stir up some tension. Mona pretends to clear her throat. “So Colt, I heard you slept well last night. How bout you Emma? How did you sleep?”

Emma slightly chokes on her orange juice and tries to kick Mona under the table but hits Colt instead.

“Ouch! What was that for?” Colt bellowed and quirks an eyebrow at Emma.

“Sorry.. Hrk.. reflexes.” She apologizes trying to compose herself, her eyes fixed on Mona with a glare.

“Babe, you alright?” Logan asks in a concerned voice, rubbing soothing circles on her back.

“Yeah… I’m fine… totally..” I mean I fell asleep in the arms of the boy I once loved but other than that totally fine. Emma replied trying to hide how nervous she was. “I um.. need to get ready. I’ll see you when you get back?”

“Sure. I’ll be missing you till then.” Logan leans in to kiss her but she quickly gets up before he manages to. At the same time Colt gets up from his seat and walks out the opposite way.

Logan looks curiously at the group that were still seated at the table. “Did something happen while I was asleep? Everyone’s been acting weird all morning.”

“You’re reading into things too much pretty boy, nothing happened.” She answers trying to hide a grin on her face. Not yet anyway.

****

********

Tag list :

@thecordoniandiaries @leelee10898 @annekebbphotography @desiree-0816 @emceesynonymroll @jessiembruno @jlpplays1 @rainbowsinthestorm @cora-nova @kinkykingliam @furiouscloddonutpeanut

Rod - @liamzigmichael4ever @client-327 @brightpinkpeppercorn @lovehugsandcandy @lilyofchoices @justdani14 @akrenich @princess-geek @flowerpowell @zaffrenotes @queenkaneko @mskaneko @princessstellaris

I’m using tags from my other series and also tagging people who are Colt and RoD stans that i think would be interested. Just Let me know if you want to be added to perma tag or a specific series tag. Or if you want to be removed from the series.

#playchoices #rod colt #rod #rod logan #rod mona #colt x mc #logan x mc #playchoice : ride or die #colt kaneko #ride or die au #playchoices ride or die #ride or die fanfiction

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