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intergalacticaquarium · 2 years

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Despicable headcanons for eddie munson

Terrible and (sfw) filthy headcanons for eddie munson that make him my dream man

None of this is ironic

- wears all those layers bc he gets cold really really easily and every time he starts to shiver and his teeth start to chatter at like 50 degrees he is completely humiliated

-only remembers to brush his hair about once a week. Usually he just kinda pats it down until it's the right shape. The mats add volume

-DEFINITELY cuts his own bangs

-either got arrested when he was like 17 and booked it into the forest and hopper was like whatever dude I'm busy and he broke the handcuffs in a very stupid and dangerous way

-OR he just found em in the woods bc as somebody that lives near a lot of woods sometimes you find weird shit in there. One time I found super old car with bullet holes in it.

-speaking of yknow sometimes ur in public and you'll see a piece of clothing or a hair tie or a water bottle that somebody obviously left behind and you know not to touch it bc gross? Eddie doesn't know not to touch it. He touches it and picks it up and takes it home and fucking might wash it and definitely wears it

-found his vest on the side of the road in a puddle and took it home like a Charlie brown Christmas tree

-gets no bitches sorry girlies. Extremely surprised to get one bitch but she's a slug woman too so it's tru love. First and foremost what he wants in a partner is for them to be the type to also eat dry cereal by the fistful

- if he scrolled thru the Eddie x reader tag and read the descriptions he would be terrified and would need to look up a lot of terms and would need to go lie down for a second after all that information

-calling Eddie on a bluff is extremely easy and extremely satisying

-full of love

-cries really easily but sometimes that's bc his eyes are huge and it's windy and he's been sitting in the dark for a long time

-has waaaaay too lax a policy on what's OK to eat after you drop it on the floor

-has really bad undiagnosed untreated adhd. Cannot focus unless he's invested, will say the first thing that comes into his brain and regret it instantly and its either something wildly off topic or a response to something you said 3 minutes ago

-sometimes absentmindedly chews on his hair and it gets hard on the ends. To his credit he knows that this is gross

-hey why am I getting turned on writing this thats weird right

-you'd expect him to have like a million stupid fancy bongs that he won't shut up about but actually he has like 4 and only uses one and it's the fucking grodiest yellow tinted black bongwater that hasn't been changed in ages resin inside that looks like fuckin bushes bong you have ever seen and will not use it. One time you steal it and clean it out with an entire bottle of rubbing alcohol. It's still kinda gross when ur done and he genuinely would silently hold it against you for years

-uses his jeans as a napkin

-can't remember the last time he washed his jeans. Says you're not supposed to wash them but put them in the freezer. He does not put them in the freezer either

-smells like cigarettes. This one isn't sexy its just gross if somebody smokes weed and cigarettes they smell like cigarettes if somebody wears cologne and smoke a certain number of cigarettes that is all they smell like and it's kind of overwhelming until you literally air out and febreeze his whole fucking trailer and wardrobe to put a dent in it

-he got those holes in his jeans by falling over onto concrete really hard while trying to carry like 20 things at once inside

-very strangely patchy chest hair

-insomnia and watches a lot of infomercials because of it

-sometimes tastes things that aren't food if he's curious and nobody's around. One time he did lick a frog and it tasted weird and it was bad but he will always know what it tasted like so who's to say if it was a success or not

-laughs at horror movies but gets scared and jumpy for the rest of the night

-eats like an animal or Brad pitt in an oceans movie. If he can eat it with his hands by the fistful he will.

-I wonder if anybody can get which of these are autobiographical and how badly I'm giving myself away rn

-sometimes says and does things he saw his metal musician idols doing without knowing what they meant and being confused when confronted

-has AT LEAST one very badly scarred stick n poke disaster

-there are a lot of these and I honestly could go on probably indefinitely so I'm gonna stop now but every time I read a fic where he's too sexy and fuckable I'm gonna add 2 more to balance it out.

-one last one the wallet chain isn't for fashion it's for fashion AND bc he loses his wallet a lot

#stranger things #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson x oc #eddie munson headcanons #stranger things headcanons #its 1 am i woke up at 530 and i feel unhinged rn #and weirdly motivated to download tinder again #unfortunately my inexplicable attraction to soaking wet and slightly pitful men does not extend to real life #that would make things too easy #unless they do it in a very specific way and im back in #and that way is to have greasy long hair and wear a cool jacket OOPS

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perilegs · 3 months

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So, yeah I've talked plenty about Nøkk using crowd controll spells to avoid satisfying his urges bc as good as it feels, it's also scary to have your body react to carnage with pure ecstasy. I know he gets a craving for murder and does satisfy his urge every now and then, but he tries to do it as little as humanly possible. But! I decided I'm making him have a big relapse kind of in Act2 :)

Nøkk will be putting himself in danger by starting to use offensive spells more and getting closer to the enemies to strike them with his sword. Which, is such a bad idea bc he's a squishy bard. This is ofc noticeable to everyone, but Nøkk will lie and say that his experience with the sussur tree made him realize he needs to be getting his sword skills up to what they once were. I don't think anyone is fully convinced, but they've got a lot on their plate rn with the shadowcurse and stuff.

Even though Nøkk is now indulging his urges more, it's not enough. Denying the urge to kill Isobel made it so much worse. Nøkk needs help, but is scared to reach out.

This culminates in the durge romance murder scene. He'll lose control again. Just like with that poor dragonborn bard. Nøkk is so terrified of not being in control of himself, but he knows, if he says nothing, Astarion will be dead come morning.

Nøkk has mentioned his urges before, offhandedly, he didn't mean to. But it didn't even matter as no one realized how serious it was. They wouldn't have understood even if he told them everything he was feeling. Well, he would have probably gotten a dagger through his throat if he did that. And that's not something Nøkk would ever do even without the threat to his life.

Anyways, this time, he HAS to act. I'm just going to use direct quotes from the scene and give some extra Nøkk thoughts on them.

"I've been cursed. When I fall asleep, I will try to murder you." then the comment about being the only dark power inside of Nøkk and "You could have told me before things got murderously bad, you know." Astarion's attitude with this whole thing is not helping Nøkk out.

He's growing more and more panicked, with his consciousness about to slip. He's at a state where he's almost ready to give into his urges and maim Astarion. Until. "Whatever it is that's controlling you, we can fight it. I know that better than anyone." Hearing that gives Nøkk reassurance. He's not in this as alone as he first thought. However, there's no time to finish the thought before he faints.

The night passes with Nøkk remembering nothing but vague glimpses of it. Astarion was far more calm, patient, and gentle with Nøkk than he would have ever expected anyone to be in this situation. Losing sleep, well, meditation, over, for, Nøkk. "You've got this. And I've got you." Such a simple thing to say, yet it will linger in Nøkk's head for as long as he lives.

Once Nøkk inhabits his own mind again, he feels mortified. He cannot look Astarion in the eye. He keeps his gaze firmly on the ground, even as Asterion cuts his binds, tears almost swelling up.

"We need to have a talk." That's it. This is where Astarion will confess he wants nothing to do with Nøkk ever again anymore. It was foolish of Nøkk to even think they could ever be anything more than strangers.

But. That's not what happens. Astarion is waiting for Nøkk to explain himself. Very uncharacteristic to himself, Nøkk tells Astarion all about his urges, and how he was strictly avoiding them at first, but now he's trying to overcompensate the other way. The way they make his blood feel and take his mind away from him. The awful, horrible thoughts and images he can't get out of his head. All the nightmares and sleepless nights. All he can remember. It's all he can do to keep from crying. Nøkk finishes his tale, he's still not looking at Astarion.

Nøkk doesn't know what to expect, but it's not words of comfort. People aren't supposed to just accept something like this. "You're allowed to hate me for this." "I don't hate you. Because this is not you." Nøkk is left speechless. Also let's all take a moment to think about both Astarion saying that about durge's urges and Withers' "he only managed to kill the part of you he knew."

Anyways, Nøkk finally looks up at Astarion. His expression is soft, Nøkk, however, looks like he's about to burst into tears. "Whatever this is, you will get through it. And I'll be here to make sure you do."

Astarion, picking up on Nøkk's embarrassement and not wanting to make him cry, says something about there being a new dawn while he stands up. He extends a hand to help Nøkk up. Nøkk takes it. Maybe his future needn't be so grim after all.

Nøkk starts trying to learn a healthy balance on satisfying his urges. Suppressing all of them all the time just makes them worse, but, putting himself and everyone else in danger just to deal the finishing blow on everyone they fight is also, very unhealthy. He somewhat opens up to the rest of his companions about his condition a bit more too, bit by bit. There are people making sure he's okay. He's not in this alone.

#hold on i might cry #oc: nøkk #oc: nøkk text

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majikdog · 1 year

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Omg I come here because of the "2022 is the year of Ghost" post!!! (which thank you for putting together and omg... what a ride). I'm not sure if you got this asked before, but could you let usk now how it was meeting Papa? How was interacting with him, and how was the before and after?? I haven't been to a ritual yet, but i'm saving from when they start touring again, since I want to go to the meet and greet so bad! Would love to hear your experience though (if you're ok sharing!) <3

Hey, lovely!!

I’m glad you liked the post, it was fun putting together and I love the additions everyone made too!! It’s been such an eventful year. And I’d love to tell the story of meeting Papa, definitely one of the biggest highlights of my year! It’s something nice to look back on when I’m feeling down.

The interactions are brief due to time and the amount of people with the anointed packages (so many people, anon, I was pleasantly surprised!!) They also normally take place during the other opening bands (in this case it was Mastadon who performed right before Ghost). Basically, the Anointed VIPs are lined up, then taken in small groups of I think 10-20 at most, and led to a small, dark room. A corner of the room is boxed in with black curtains- where Papa is waiting. I was the fourth person in line. I’d been third but I chickened out and made @ghoulish-ghrace go before me, I was FREAKED!! Excited but terrified lol. They don’t make it any better for you, no, the room in dimly lit with smoke, incense, various ambient horror film soundtracks with the impending dread of actually meeting the character you’ve been obsessed with for however long it’s lasted up to that point. Eventually it was my go and I was directed to the little curtained corner. It looked something like this-

(Not mine, this was a scene from the Swedish rock documentary, Hård rock på export)

The curtain was pulled aside revealing Papa, and he’s very much there. Like straight away, first thing I notice, BOOM in your face, jumpscare. From photos and videos, it’s a little easier to tell “yeah, this is a dude in a mask”, you can look at those things and nitpick the fine details to differentiate the fantasy from the reality. In real time, this dude looks fucking real. And Tobias doesn’t disappoint, he really does go into Papa mode and doesn’t slip in his performance from the mannerisms, the way he holds himself, the accent, everything. Onto the actual interaction, I was inside the mini room and he was literally face-to-face with me. I was still in frightened animal mode and I’m not gonna lie- he noticed and made it apparent but only out of kindness and comfort. It started off with him saying “hello” and “how are you doing tonight?” I answered with something about being okay but scared. He responded with “don’t be, it’s just me” (NO DUH YEAH ITS JUST YOU THATS WHY IM FREAKING OUT, MATE). I told him he looked amazing and he replied “as do you, you look very nice tonight” (which I will carry with me to my grave) and he asked me if I was ready for the photo. I was kind of frantic and saying sorry a lot but as always, Papa was so sweet and patient, never got irritated, but at the same time attempted to comfort. Outside the character, I realize he’s totally been in this position before and probably gets it. The photo-taking placed him on the other side of the plexiglas bc of the COVID restrictions but he’s still very close! I still stayed farther away than I should have but hey, I was nervous, this was my first M&G ever AND with my favorite artist of all time. After the photo, I was getting ready to leave, Papa steps in my way to face me, no plexiglass in our way, and we were facing each other with him super close this time with fucking like breath on my face and that piercing stare you hear about so much that definitely lives up to what people tell. Trying not to cry (failed) and trying to keep eye contact (semi-success), I listened as he told me softly, “hey, it’s okay, you’re going to be okay. Now, I want you to go out there, make some friends, have fun and have a good time tonight. Can you do that for me?” I promised I would. I thanked him for everything he’s done and for being patient with me. I almost went to the wrong side of the tent to leave but I was able to turn around and say “goodbye, Papa” and he gave me a little wave watching me leave. Also would like to note that he’s not very tall but does try to loom (I’m fairly short tho so he’s got some height over me, the intimidation was effective. Tobias-1, Adri-0).

Now after all of that and making absolutely sure I hadn’t pissed myself yay, I ran out to find my friend and tackled them nearly to the ground. Noticed a few other fans looking like they were about to bolt and I let them know Papa was so kind and so sweet, it was definitely going to be worth it. I think that’s another thing, be there for your ghesties. It’s as nerve wracking as it is fun but it’s a lot better when you’ve got others to support you through it. Trust me, like I said with “Papa” included, you’re not alone and everyone’s been in this position and it’s okay to apprehensive despite the hard work you did to get there. If there’s advice I have to give, it’s that and also play along with Papa! He’s not Tobias Forge, he’s Papa. The play element makes it a bit easier. If you’re a little like me, script oriented interactions are easier. If you treat this like acting and playing along with the fun, it makes it more enjoyable. And even if that’s too much, you’re not sure what to say or you forget what you were going to say- that’s okay! Papa will be sure to make the experience as personal to you as he can. Just being polite and appreciative of his time and work are enough. Normally, gifts exchanges were allowed but cut out due to COVID restrictions. However, there was a very kind person running everything that I gave my gift for Papa to. He promised me that he’d personally make sure that Papa would get it and gave me his word. If you have anything to give Papa, check the venue websites for restrictions on what is or isn’t allowed in and if you ask the show runners if Papa may have your gift, they will likely work with you on that too.

After all of that pt. 2, I texted my mum and let her know about everything that happened haha. The rest of the night was a blast, my friend and I both got to the barrier area! Papa and his ghouls were also interactive on stage with us. So even if you aren’t able to grab a M&G, chances are you can still get some interaction during the ritual. Somehow making eye contact with him onstage and him gesturing towards you a few times is still as scary as the M&G ehhehehe.

After I think around a week, the photos with Papa are sent to you via email. After scrolling through all of them (yes, you were sent to a website where you’d see everyone’s lol), you’ll find yours. Here is mine:

(See? Told you I stood far away lol)

But yeah, that’s the gist of it, Anon! Despite the short interaction, it’s well worth it in the end. Like many, I worked hard to get there mentally and financially, and I’m sure you will to. This is your experience and you should own it! And if you ever get scared, I will be your personal hype man because you deserve it!! And I think Papa knows that too. When you do get to meet him, I would love to hear! My inbox and DMs are always open to you and anyone who would want to share. I love sharing my story and hearing others’.

#also boo jumpscare it’s my face #My Mummy Dust #Witch Image #Ghost #Cardinal Copia #Papa Emeritus IV #Impera Era #Imperatour #Asks #GIFs

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whumpshaped · 2 years

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Is there anything you've waiting for an excuse to rant/talk about but the opportunity hasnt presented itself?

so this is half a lie bc ive been talking this nonstop for 5 days or so- BUT not publicly.

the spk storyline.

yes- yes- i know- "but tamara youve been doing nothing but post drabbles and picrews and-" SHUSH. I HAVENT TALKED ABT THE FULL CONTEXT AND STORYLINE YET. SO NOW I WILL. SIT DOWN.

ok ok so the entire premise of the spk au i have w @whumpsday is that kane somehow gets taken from the hunters to seth. and meets pumpkin. and theyre both horribly horribly tortured right.

now. this au has a rescue arc. BECAUSE bellamy, that fine ass man swoops in and kills seth. that does not go over well w pumpkin who, while less and less by the second bc of kane's treatment, is madly in fucken love with that man. and of course seeing bellamy commit murder??? is scary??? so pumpkin is TERRIFIED.

now after the rescue pumpkin spends a while being skittish and hostile towards bel, while kane is trying to sort out his own trauma and also manage that, and bellamy is trying his best to be like... non-threatening- but how do u act non-threatening after killing someone yknow- AND on top of all that, pumpkin is going mad without their daily fix of dehumanization. enter anton de sang. whom pumpkin sees and thinks yes. that is the man.

SO BABY PUMPKIN RUNS THE FUCK OFF AFTER ANTON TO BE LIKE "sir? sir? can u step on me?" AND ANTON IS LIKE. GLADLY?? WHAT A FUCKEN WEIRDO. pumpkin gets WHUMPED. while kane and bellamy r freaking out bc they find pumpkin's note abt where they went and they Immediately go after them. theres some angst in here i dont wanna spoil but GOD its some good shit. pumpkin gets home safe tho :D

they all know this cant go on, this is very unhealthy, kane offers to act like pumpkin's new owner in exchange for them never running off again, and pumpkin turns it down bc they know it makes kane SO uncomfy. but bellamy has great acquantances..... and this is where ambrose comes into the picture. u guessed it, the man is a professional vamp dom. thats how he and el meet. oh yes, by the time that happens, pumpkin finally gets the courage to leave the petname behind and start using the name el! which is a shortened version of their birth name that sounds more gender neutral and they love the sound of!

am helps them work through their little traumas while the two of them also fall for each other like nobodys business. in the meantime kane also finally works up the courage w el's help to ask out bellamy, and those two gay little lovebirds also get together. but oh no! el is... el is human... so when they and am finally get married (bc of course they do) that "death do us part" bit is pretty sour. am knows he only has limited time w them.

BUT BC THIS IS AN AU AND WE ALL WANT THEM TO SPEND 3000 YEARS TOGETHER IN HAPPINESS WE DECIDED HEY, AM COULD FIND OUT ABT THE ORIGINAL RITUAL THAT CREATED VAMPIRES AND TURN EL!!!!! so he does :D and from there its all sunshine rainbows and fluff, they live happily ever after as a huge happy family. am's parents kind of adopt kane, which does mean that they rly are one big family since both el and bel marry into it. so they just all share the same last name. oh yes bc neither kane nor bellamy would want to keep their original last names anyway bc of their stupid shitty families. SO YES. thats what we've been discussing for days now and its so good and im so happy it sparks so much joy

and then we have the dark spk au where seth actually survives that night and later bel and am go over to his house when the four of them realize hes alive, and get revenge :) this is a tasty au

theres the bbe or bloodbag el au, where kane takes el instead of jim and anton takes seth. thats where anton's on again off again girlfriend ruby comes in and this au splits into two once more

in one version seth gets taken by ruby later! which is way better than anton but also fucken humiliating bc ruby treats him like a silly little puppy. anton takes graham after this, like in canon

in the other seth never gets out from anton :) poor him :) lucky lucky graham tho

honestly the bbe is the sweetest shit bc el loves being owned by kane. they eventually rly grow on kane.....

we briefly discussed a feisty kane au too, where kane gets taken by the hunters, but before hes properly broken he gets taken by seth. that au includes kane being rude as shit to pumpkin at first. but also seth gets to break him himself :)

anyway heres a demonstration of the difference between spk and bbe

and heres ruby

thank u for this ask it means a lot i rly hope i didnt share anything mill didnt want me to share-

#asks #spk

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insertdisc5 · 3 years

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Hi!! I wanted to ask, in celebration of Deltarune CH. 2, do you have any updated thoughts and head canons about the game?? Like, y'know, similar to a previous ask about Kris in your Deltarune tag? Thanks!

thoughts on kris part 2 i guess???? (part 1 from ch1 here lol)

spoilers for deltarune like woah. this wont be kris focused just random thoughts on everything. thank you for giving me the opportunity to talk

not that many thoughts for this chapter tbh! EDIT LOL: this was a lie i have a lot of thoughts

-just in general i feel like the player isn't the only one controlling kris... like yes the player forced kris to do what happened in the snowgrave route but AT THE SAME TIME idk it feels like there's someone else too. just because of the terrifying voice i suppose. and also the jerky movement kris does every time they get their soul out? unless there's another reason for it... maybe getting your soul out means you walk weird lol

-BUT ALSO i feel like kris is 100% in control when they create fountains. idk it just makes sense kris would create them. to create another world, a better world, A WORLD WHERE THEIR BROTHER IS HERE PERHAPS? i do wonder why they get their soul out then though. i'm all for it sweetie! do whatever! i support you!

-(i am and will be playing deltarune with only kris' best interests in mind. i will not hurt anyone unless kris wants me to. dont worry my little meow meow im on your side! talk to me! no? okay ill stay under the sink its fine)

-speaking of asriel. SUMMER VACATION COLLEGE WHEN? SUMMER VACATION COLLEGE WHEN? SUMMER (starts crying) V-VACATION COLLEGE WHEN

-kris misses their brother so much it's so sad. if you make kris steal 5$ from asriel they take it "reluctantly"? talking to asriel online so often even alphys knows?? the google search?? GOING INTO ASRIEL'S GOOGLE SEARCH ROOM WITH THEIR EYES CLOSED BECAUSE THEY'RE CONVINCED THEY ALREADY KNOW WHATS IN THERE? THAT ONE IS LESS OF A MISSING THING BUT IM LIKE OH MY GOD

-the city walk with susie at the end makes it clear to me that kris really values susie's friendship... kris even sits with her if you spend long enough near the lake like aaaaah ;_;

-and even in snowgrave you spend your last acts with the final boss calling for your friends like YES there's a way bigger creepy aspect to this (kris as more of a Leader who Commands and commands their subjects to come) but still :'0 (and then noelle answers oh my god noelle im so sorry for the trauma)

-berdly. listen. listen. listen. liste

-berdly sucks but [berdly hurts his arm in the battle against queen if you don't save him because he doesnt want to hurt you] [berdly realizing smg's wrong in snowgrave and immediately taking steps to save noelle] berdly is my little crumb nugget. i will protect him.

-noelle. noelle. girlboss!

-like ooooh listen. hearing about the genocide path for undertale. made me go "that is SO COOL. i HAVE to experience it myself this is great. hehehe killing time" and like no regrets. i was fully enjoying the experience knowing i was an awful person. SNOWGRAVE THOUGH. i will never try this myself its too fucked up. casually grooming your childhood friend to murder people <3 and also acting like a weird stalker towards her <3 stockholm syndrome speedrun i will get all the info i can about this but i will never do this myself

-people remarking the kris/player>noelle relationship is similar to the relationship between player>chara in genocide path is like yes. chefs kiss. don't worry we just are making you stronger and everything will be fine "you made me kill my friend? and for what?" this is fine sweetie don't worry about it!!!!!!

-like the amount of details added to snowgrave, like if you equip noelle's watch she notices later? and her battle animations change as time goes on, she gets an ice shield and stops sighing in relief after battle? oh my god? oh my god.

-(berdly is not awake.) JUST KILL ME RIGHT HERE I HAVEN'T STOPPED THINKING ABOUT BERDLY NOT BEING AWAKE!!!!!

-also why didnt he turn into dust. so many possible reasons. is magic a thing in the normal world and perhaps no magic means no dust (theres graves). maybe he isnt dead. maybe hes braindead. maybe he'll come back. either way that boy is now in the closet big enough to put someone in

-also dess' name probably being december AND THATS WHY NOELLE LOST THE SPELLING BEE?!?!??! FUCK ME UP!!!!! JUST FUCK ME UP!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!

-also so many good pixel art this chapter. too many? i didnt need pixel art of cardboard noelle falling on the statue. like thank you but please. please it hurts my game artist brain.

-the expressions in this chapter were also top notch. all the unsettling noelle expressions like (i fall over face first)

-i threw away the ball of junk (which i already tried in ch1) and this time the game was like "ARE YOU SURE BC THIS IS A BAD IDEA" and kris felt bitter :'( (it deletes all your items in the dark world)

-i uh fucked up and skipped the susie+noelle scene bc listen last time ralsei mentionned seeing what susie is doing we missed some PRIMO LORE. turns out it just makes you skip the scene and you dont get anything new. welp

-speaking of ralsei well you know. he exists. but im stuck on him going "i just wonder what being ralsei-like even is...?" ralsei my dude there's so much i could say about this. do you feel like you can't be ralsei-like because you feel like you have to be asriel-like

-but also that makes no sense bc susie hasnt even mentioned ralsei looks like asriel. and i cant imagine asriel being so meek. so WHAT GIVES

-ralsei as kris’ “i wish i was a monster just like my bro and family and i’d look like asriel but with red horns [THE HALLOWEEN COSTUME] and my name would be something cool like ralsei instead of a boring human name like kris and im sweet and cute because thats how i act with asriel because ASRIEL MADE ME” theory because that would be cute.

-ASRIEL GOING TO THE CHURCH TO CONFESS HIS "SINS" WHEN "SINS" AREN'T A THING IN THE ANGEL BELIEF LIKE I KNOW THIS INTERACTION WAS TREATED AS A JOKE BUT WHAT THE FUCK ASRIEL?

-kris definitely has a connection with the big red door in the city, judging by what the kids say they probably went there... i feel like this place's dark world will be the Final Dungeon you KNOW some shit happened there. also the sounds you hear when you go there is the phone dark world call's sound slowed down? AND AFTER SNOWGRAVE APPARENTLY YOU CANT HEAR IT ANYMORE? HUWAH?

-speaking of songs the songs were all so good, My Castle Town rules, the berdly snowgrave music is stuck in my head, flashback is uwah wuahah, Until Next Time is so good, AND ALSO A FRIEND NOTICED THE DARK WORLD CITY THEME IS JUST tHE SONG 74 (MOST NOTICEABLE WITH THE SNOWGRAVE VERSION)?????? WHAT DOES IT MEAN????? it might be just "hey its just reuse" BUT MR FOX YOU KNOW WE'RE GONNA READ INTO THIS IS NOELLE THE ONE SINGING IDK BRO!!!!!!!!!!

-asgore dreemurr fired from the force what happun!!!!! game theory is that asgore is related to dess' death/disappearance but eh who knows

-you start the chapter at lvl2 and get to lvl3 after the final boss, a friend mentioned this is probably because we destroyed a world and im :0

-to go back to kris it's still so interesting to figure out who they are based on how they act/people mention them. like kris shaking the ferris wheel car? yeah makes sense i can imagine a pranking kid do this. kris' dance? yeah thats a little silly but i can buy it. doing cool anime poses? well i dunno this doesnt line up PERFECTLY but sure. BUT EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN SNOWGRAVE... especially >proceed like that is such a weird thing that i can't imagine them doing, but i can't completely see the "player" doing either (compare with going to sans -which kris doesnt know- and going "SANS!" because of course the player would know sans), like THATS one of the reasons i feel like there's someone else in there. the weird robotic merciless actions. if im going super meta it feels like there'd be someone else like writing the choices into existence for us to pick you know? gaster probably? god i need to read more gaster theories i completely sidestepped the gaster shit bc i wasnt interested. anyway just spitballing

-(looks at big shot guy) please dont make him the next tumblr guy i beg you

-obligatory "queen was great" mention if only because this part made me laugh a little bit too hard

that was a lot. thank you for letting me talk

#ask tag #deltarune #deltarune spoilers #snowgrave spoilers

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1kook · 3 years

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commercial break: eleven

this is a netflix & chill drabble <3

SUMMARY You’re too bright, too… there. His shell is too small.

WARNINGS sadness, vulnerabilities, insecurity, self confidence issues, an idea of “feeling ugly”, tw // mental breakdowns and feelings of regression, crying, jk doesn’t want anyone near, oc tries her best to comfort him

RATING e for everyone

WC 1.2k

NOTES i love the idea of jk being the perfect man, but I also want to show moments where he isn’t so perfect and where he’s not the mature man oc thinks he is… I love my boy so much 😭😭 also it’s 1am helloooooo ALSO it’s formatted ugly bc I’m posting this from my phone 😀 I’ll fix it tmrw promise

Jungkook hates to admit it, but some days are harder than others.

Some days, Jungkook wakes up with an uncomfortably stifling feeling in his chest, one that threatens to wiggle its way into the loneliest parts of his heart and find permanent residency. A drowsy one, makes him linger in bed well past his preferred wake up time, the blackout curtains in his room ensheathing him in a sea of darkness that his heart is adamant on replicating. But it’s worse than drowning, because his lungs are clear; it’s just that he doesn’t have the strength, the willpower to force another breath— he just wants to lay there and do nothing.

“Good morning,” he hears from beside him, and a different weight presses against his side. You’re warm in the morning, soft too. He likes how you feel, he always does. But not today. Today, he doesn’t know how he feels about the overwhelming presence at his side. You’re too bright, too… there. His shell is too small. “You sleep okay?”

Jungkook doesn’t answer. The words don’t catch in his throat, but in the recesses of his mind instead, overlapping and overflowing until it feels like tv static, fuzzy and blurry— confusing. You shift beside him, and his heart kicks up an anxious rhythm. It’s not the normal butterflies that beat their wings against the walls of his rib cage when you smile, nor is it the thundering gallops of a dozen horses when you touch him just so. It’s this nauseating, terrified feeling, one that screams at him to answer lest he upset you with his silence.

There’s a hand on his chest, and he doesn’t like how it feels right now, just another suffocating layer to add on, but even worse he doesn’t know how to tell you that.

Luckily, he doesn’t have to. It slinks away, but that warning bell in his head is going off anyway, makes him look over at you in panic, only to find you propped up on your elbow, inquisitive eyes focused on him. Your features are still soft, and Jungkook is pretty sure there’s traces of last night’s makeup clinging to your lash line. You’re so pretty— you always are. Jungkook can’t handle this right now. You’re too pretty, and Jungkook feels ugly. (Ah, so that was the feeling.) You can’t look at Jungkook when he’s ugly, you won’t want Jungkook when he’s ugly.

“Hey,” you say softly, gently. Jungkook’s heart aches. A pair of fingers brush along his cheekbones, drag through the wetness that escapes the corners of his eyes, trails down toward his ears��when had he started crying?—where you delicately tuck his hair back. “I’m gonna get started on breakfast,” you tell him, voice hushed, whispering. Jungkook is hanging onto every single word, feels like you’ll disintegrate before his very eyes if he isn’t careful. You can probably tell. “You don’t have to eat right now, but it’ll be down there if you want, okay?”

You move to get off the bed, scooting away from him, leaving him behind. He’s fine with it until he isn't, until your hand touches the door knob to his room and a shameful sniffle escapes him. Loud too, loud enough to make you turn back in surprise. And that alarmed look on your face is enough to make Jungkook want to hide, hurriedly rolling over onto his stomach, burying his face into his pillow, arms clutching at the softness as he cries. You hurry back. He doesn’t want you to leave, but he doesn’t want you to see either. He doesn’t know what he wants.

“No,” he begs, turning the other way when your face comes up beside him, kneeling beside his side of the bed. “Don’t look at me— please.”

There’s a hand on his back, and Jungkook hates how much he loves it, hates how much he instinctively yearns to find comfort in you at a time like this. He was getting better, he’s been getting better. He swears he has; he has journals full of feelings to prove it, vulnerable text message threads with Namjoon to prove it.

But he won’t lie. The Valentine’s Day incident had left a bad taste in Jungkook’s mind, and these past few months have been hard. He feels like he’s regressing, like he’s back to being a teenager all over again. By itself, that knowledge sucks. Combined with the warm palm on his back and the loving voice calling his name— combined with the fact you've been watching Jungkook these past few months each and every time he’s woken up like this… it’s humiliating. “Don’t look,” he chokes out, each drag of your fingers through his hair sending a confused pang of emotions straight to his heart.

“Why can’t I look?” you ask quietly, toying with the strands of his hair. He sniffles. “What would I see?”

“Me,” Jungkook sobs, wishing the mattress would just up and swallow him.

You’re silent, a fact that Jungkook wishes he could appreciate had it not made the sounds of his anguish even more obvious. It makes him self-conscious, more than he already is, so he forces himself to quiet down. It doesn’t feel better, but it does let him hear your next words. “I like looking at you,” you tell him, and the bed dips down beside him. After a moment, you speak again. “Do you feel ugly today?”

Careful, calculated. Like he’s a ticking bomb and you don’t want him to blow. Briefly, he had explained it before, skirted around it in embarrassment as he talked about the way he felt. It had been months ago— maybe the weekend after Valentine’s —so he’s surprised you remember. Jungkook nods.

“Then I’ll wait,” you announce, and eventually he feels you settle in beside him. His head is still turned the other way, hiding shamefully, but he can feel your warm breath against his skin when you slowly cuddle in close. An arm wraps itself around his back. He doesn’t mind it this time— he just wants to be held now. “I’ll wait until you feel pretty again.”

Part of Jungkook wants to snap at you; he doesn’t want to feel pretty, he’s never felt pretty. Jungkook felt average at best, and on days where you stroked his ego, maybe even handsome. But pretty? That’s not something that’ll ever happen, and he doesn’t want you to waste your hopes on a possibility that does not exist.

But that’s mean, and he doesn’t want to chase you away, scare you away, even if he doesn’t want you to see him like this. So Jungkook shuts his mouth, stays still, tries to match the soft rise and fall of your chest against his side instead.

Some days he’s fine in a few minutes without a single tear shed. Other days are long. Other days are so painful and uncomfortable, he just wants to hide. He wants to climb into his shell and never come out, hide his ugliness from the world and never have to worry about being seen again.

You don’t lie to him, don’t feed him empty promises while you wait. You just lay silently at his side, pulling him closer when his sniffles get louder. You don’t say anything unnecessary and you never make it about yourself.

Lately his shell has grown bigger, wider, comfier. Big enough for someone else to squeeze in, hold him close when he doesn’t feel like himself.

He doesn’t hate it.

#networkbangtan #jeon jungkook fic #jungkook fic #jungkook #jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook #jjk #bts #bts x reader #bts x you #mine

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pasta-in-the-blender · 2 years

Text

DEEZ HATCHETS

OKKAY SO I WROTE THIS FIC A LOOOOOONG TIME AGO FOR A FRIEND

Then today as i was looking trough my drafts for something to post bc of my lack of content and i found this,,,,

THEN I HAD THE SAME FRIEND I WROTE THIS TO EDIT IT FOR ME

YA SO HERE IT IS

reader is gn!

TW: Toby?, swearing, violence? alcoholism, abusive parents, reader being a baddie, not sure what else

It was getting dark. You were starting to regret your dumb choice of running away from home just because your drunk mother had hit you with another beer bottle again. But it was no time for regrets. You are known to be a very stubborn person, so you knew you wouldn't be going home to let your still not sober mother laugh at you for being so pathetic.

You were already about two miles into the haunted woods that was off-limits for everyone except the forest rangers. You knew no one would come after you here. You would be alone. Well, at least that was what you thought.

And oh boy, were you wrong

. So, you were making your way down the crooked pathway of the forest, and you couldn't lie; it was a real shame people weren't allowed in here. The place was lovely, especially when it was bathed in the glory of moonlight.

The green leaves you passed by had a deep blue hue, yet they still looked bright and shiny. They truly amazed you, but you couldn't help but feel something amiss. It made your stomach churn every so slightly. Was it fear? Or maybe it was your body missing the dinner you would've finished digesting by now if you hadn't run away from home. You were skeptical, but it was most likely both. You were great at keeping up your brave game, shuffling down the forest further. Though you immediately came to a pause when you heard the bush to your right rustle and then caught a person charging at you full speed. The scream you let out was atrocious. You instinctively tried to run the opposite direction but found yourself unable to do so as the stranger had pinned you to a tree, and that was the very moment you also had realized that they had a hatchet too. You took a few seconds of silence. You were shivering while you took a few deep breaths in to examine the stranger. It was an about 5'8 foot tall man about your age with coffee brown hair and hazel eyes. He had a pair of peculiar goggles atop his head. You couldn't help but notice the scar he had next to his mouth as well. It was healing, yet it still seemed painful--even to a viewer's eye. No matter how much you took in his looks, you still only knew one fact your head was constantly repeating in your state of panic; you are going to fucking die here if you don't do something right now to stop him. But, stop him from what exactly? He raised the rusty hatchet in his hand and chuckled at you as he noticed you with a shocked look on your face amidst your inspection of his appearance. You didn't know what to say--hell, you didn't even think about it; it just came out by itself.

"Damn... That's kinda hot." You said in an unmistakably flirty tone. He froze, staring at you with mere disgust and confusion. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" He spoke in a breathy voice with a hint of confusion. You had no idea what to respond. The only thing that came to your mind was to continue the act. "I only said you are kinda hot. What would be wrong with that, hm?" Still in that annoying flirty tone. At this point, he was just staring you down with disbelief. "Why." "What?" "Why would that be hot. Are you stupid or something?" "No, I am not stupid. I just find you hot, dude!" You couldn't help but snicker as you noticed a faint blush on your attacker's face.

"Ah... I am not attractive at all. You should be terrified!" He spat out. "Convince me that you are not, and you can have my head." You retorted. "Well--I am a serial murderer who went on and killed his father, burnt down his entire house-" You abruptly kicked him in the stomach and pulled his knees out of proportion, making sure his kneecaps snapped out of place, then started running back on the path you took earlier. You looked back. He was not screaming or crying. There wasn't even a tiny bit of pain plastered on his face. He was only rubbing his knee out of comfort. After glancing at him with a perplexed expression, you decided to never look back and keep running towards home.

Once Toby fixed his knee and stood back up, you were nowhere to be found. One of his coworkers saw him and asked what the issue was. "Some idiot tricked me into monologizing about myself and got away..." His coworker was surprised not to see a single mark of anger on Toby's face. He only looked bewildered. For once in his life, he was outwitted by a mere human.

#creepypasta #creepypasta x reader #ticci toby #ticci toby x reader #gender neutral y/n

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roger-that-cap · 3 years

Text

meet me in the gardens

summary: being the widow of a decently wealthy lord and sitting on a large plot of land automatically meant that you were a candidate for the program that you couldn’t say not to; the hosting. you had to sponsor a knight and keep them in your home for an entire year, which was troublesome enough on its own. but you never expected your knight to be a woman, and you certainly didn’t expect to have a full on illegal love affair with her, either.

warnings: lots of emotions, feelings, slightly cynical and bitter reader- she’s honestly just being a realist, we are chugging forward, did not check for typos, format could be fucked up bc i’m posting from my phone quite literally minutes before i clock in- PATHETIC LMAO

word count: 2.7k

this is a short chapter by my standards, but it felt long to me because of the things in it??? this is part five! all other parts can be found on my masterlist, it’s my pinned post!

“What’s got you smiling like that?” Wanda asked while she tied your corset, not even needing to ask whether it was too tight or loose. You looked up in your vanity and immediately tried to wipe your smile away, but it was too late. She knew you better than anyone, and she had yet to see a thoughtful smile on your face, ever. Pietro, who had caught you going back inside the previous night, caught on to the fact that you looked more carefree, and that you just seemed to look like you were carrying around less.

“Nothing.”

“Hmm,” Wanda hummed, an entertained look on her face. Something told you that she already had an idea of what was going on, even though there was no way she could have. Besides, you hardly even knew what was going on. “I’ll ask again later.” She looked you in the eyes through the mirror, a slightly mischievous smile on her face. “Maybe then you’ll tell the truth,” she said, flicking you on the side of the head, and then letting it rest.

§§

Natasha was out in the village doing whatever it was the knights did one night, and she was planning on spending the night at a bed and breakfast before coming back in the morning. As disheartened as you were about not being able to see her for your stargazing, you were partly glad for it. You missed being with the twins.

You had dinner with them alone, sitting and laughing about old memories and scheduling times to make new ones together. You loved the way you could be with them. Your laughter was allowed to go over the volume of a giggle without them looking at you like you had grown seven heads, your silverware were allowed to take a tumble onto your plate with a clatter without a second glance, and you were allowed to use whatever language you pleased. You missed the comfort that you felt with them, the comfort that your brain and the part of you that would always be the farm girl felt with them.

“And Pietro chased him all the way off, you should have seen how terrified he was,” Wanda recapped, and you couldn't help but grin at Pietro, who was sipping wine with his charming grin. “That boy will never lift another skirt, I can assure you of that.”

“I’m glad,” you mused, shooting Pietro a look that made him laugh.

“Enough about me,” he said after swallowing a sip of his wine that was much more like a gulp. “We’re not going to talk about how you’ve been walking on the clouds for weeks now?”

You nearly dropped your fork again. “What do you mean?”

“We’ve both realized,” Pietro said, motioning with his buttered knife towards his sister, who had a soft smile on her face as she observed your reaction. “That you have been significantly happier. Even with the circumstances-”

“Pietro,” Wanda hissed, but you just snorted and shook your head.

“It’s like you found your own little pocket of happiness. We were worried about you, but, you’re doing alright.” Ever the blatant one out of the three of you, he leaned forward with his trademark smirk, eyes full of curiosity. “What do you know that we don't?”

You hesitated for a second, mouth opening and closing twice as you grappled for anything to say, even a lie. And then, you settled on just shrugging your shoulders with a grin, shaking your head. “Honestly, Pietro, I know nothing. I don’t know anything.”

§§

Your heart was beating faster than normal as you looked at the woman next to you, your hand subconsciously itching closer to hers as you sat on the ground, ass on the blanket that you had brought out. “I would like to… show you something.”

It was probably the twentieth time that you and Natasha had met with each other, and still, you were entranced by her and everything that she did. And you were entranced while you stared at her and waited for her answer, just a little nervous as to what she would say.

As if she would ever say no to something you said.

“Show me anything you’d like me to see,” Natasha urged on, and you fought back a smile. You stood up, and she did the same, and then you were picking up the blanket and walking side by side with her. It was quiet the entire way there as you walked in step with her, hand brushing against her every few steps and sending tingles down your arm every time it happened.

The feeling that you got when she touched you made you feel both alive and scared to death. You weren’t stupid. You knew what you were steadily collecting more than friendly feelings for her, and that she may have been on the same page you were on. The game you were playing was a dangerous one, the risk threatening to swallow up the reward more and more by the day.

You had known that being with her by yourself was bad judgement, ever since the first time you did it. Hell, the look you gave her the first time you met her was far from appropriate. Every single conversation that you had with her was a risk, and both of you knew it. And now that your soon-to-be husband was approaching, it was even more scandalous. No one knew and you hoped no one would ever find out, but hiding forever wasn’t a choice. But what would you be hiding if there were no true feelings?

You hated yourself for falling for her and her pretty words.

“I used to come here to escape,” you started, pulling yourself out of your thoughts, voice low as you passed the tree line to get into the thick of the woods. You narrowly missed stepping in a particularly muddy spot on the ground. “This was my spot, before I got the garden of course.”

“The woods?”

“No, Nat,” you said, slightly amused as you stepped over a fallen branch. You smiled a bit when the sound of running water hit your ears. “The stream.”

You knew the exact second that she saw it, because her eyes widened and her breath hitched. “That’s not a stream, that’s a river.”

“It’s the forgotten part of the main river,” you explained. “It’s much skinnier and more shallow, and it doesn't have nearly as much fish coming through, so people forget about it.” You looked towards her and saw how intrigued she was by it, so you judged her armor free body with a slight smirk. “What? Never seen running water?”

“I lived in the capital, all they had was the ocean. And even then I was never allowed on the harbor if I wasn’t selling clams, and I didn’t sell clams much.”

You felt silence start to grow between the two of you, so you said the first thing that you thought of. “You don’t look like a clam seller.”

He looked away from the river and to you, a slight grin on her face even as she talked again. “And you don’t look like a petal kisser, blossom, but look where we are today.”

Your heart raced in your chest. “Blossom? Is that what you’re calling me now?”

“It’s only payback for calling me ‘cherry’,” she said, and you stifled a laugh at the retired name, glancing up at the red hair that you had gotten inspiration from.

“You didn’t actually mind it,” you said, looking off into the distance, only looking back at her when a warm hand slotted over yours. You blinked and looked down at your hands, which she had intertwined, and then back up at her again, only to see that she was staring straight ahead in the dark at the way the moonlight hit the water.

“How could I?” She asked softly, a subtle breeze picking up.”You were the one saying it.” She looked at you, and in the dim lighting, you could have sworn that her eyes were saying, you can call me anything in the book, and I will own it proudly. And then, the look changed to something else, something less devoting, and something more passionate. It took you a few seconds to understand what the look meant, and before you could fully register it, she was leaning forward.

A few seconds came and went where you could feel your heartbeat all over, and you tried to look somewhere other than in her eyes. You couldn't. “Don’t look at me like that.” When all Natasha did was tilt her head to the side and give you an even more intense version of the look, you let out a small sigh. “Please.”

“Why not?”

She knew why. She knew why probably better than you did after living in the capital. She saw what happened firsthand to people who committed crimes, and those who committed second degree adultery. If you two did what you were wanting to do with your entire heart, you would fall right into that category. “I know where this is going,” you said softly, “and this won’t end well.”

“Why not?” She asked again, and you turned your head to the side, shaking it slightly and closing your eyes.

“Because, I’m about to get married,” you hissed, and though you didn’t mean to sound so angry, you did. Natasha was hardly affected.

She lifted her arms and let them fall against her clothing with a soft slap that still echoed in the night. “You’re not married right now.”

“But I will be, Natasha,” you said, gripping her hands and squeezing them softly, begging for her to understand you. “What’s going to happen when I get married to a man who already has a streak for murdering his wives, and he finds out that I have feelings for you? He’ll kill me. He’ll kill you. And if he doesn’t, we’ll both be hung for adultery, after being put into torture camps for being… together as women.”

“I’m not going to let anyone hurt you, Y/N, you know that.” The fervency in her tone nearly shocked you as she took a bold step forward, nearly surrounding you in her scent and energy. “I would never let anything happen to you.”

“You’re too important for me to condemn to death and dishonor just because I have feelings for you. It was selfish of me to meet with you in the first place, but I can’t let myself do this. It’s a bad idea,” You said, voice hushed even though no one would have followed you. You were trembling, hand shaking more than anything else as you tried to understand how fast everything was moving; forward and backwards, sewing together and ripping apart all the same. If you were any more attentive to her expression, you would have seen the grin that lit up her face as your confession. “We were just about to cross a line. We’ve crossed quite a few dotted ones, but this one? It is bold and blaring.”

“Blossom,” Natasha started, and you just shook your head and kept going.

“And-and what we were just about to do? That crosses the line. We cannot.”

“Do you really think my feelings for you are going to change depending on whether or not we kiss?” She asked, her voice slightly deeper than usual, almost sounding insulted. “You’re telling me to close my heart off from you, not to not kiss you. And you know that.”

“What if I am?” You asked, eyes starting to burn with tears. “I’m doing it for the right reasons, Nat. I’m trying to save us from a world of hurt when reality finally sinks in.”

“That isn’t today.” She took another step forward and this time, you couldn't find the strength in you to step back. “And it isn’t tomorrow, and not even within the fortnight. You and I have something, and I know that you know it’s different. It’s special. We would be so stupid to ignore it, so stupid.”

“I know, I know,” you said, voice tapering off into a whine as you slowly felt your resolve come apart, even though you thought it was stronger. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” Natasha said after a few minutes of pure silence, and you found yourself exhaling. “I just wish things were different.”

“I know,” she said, and you turned to look up at the sky, tears threatening to come down on your cheeks. The stars seemed to twinkle and wink at you, talking amongst themselves about a future you had no idea about just yet.

“Guess they’re never gonna line up,” you murmured to yourself, and then you heard Natasha grumble something from your side, and then she was coming closer, a barreling energy force full of passion and intent, and you knew exactly what she was coming for. For less than a split second, you thought about it. And then you turned your head and met her halfway.

You would have been surprised by the passion in it if you weren’t just as desperate for the contact. You twisted in her arms, already wrapped around you as she drew you in close, closer than you had ever been with her, and the tears that were welling up before were now escaping for a different reason. Your lips were pressing into hers, moving fluidly and with an air of fervor that she matched equally. You felt wanted, and needed, and you felt loved. You felt the tenderness of the moment with every brush of her fingers on the back of your neck and with every rub of your back over the thin material of your night dress.

Your legs were shaking, and she noticed before you did that you were getting weak in the knees. She held you up and pulled back slightly, just enough for you to feel her lips brush against yours while she asked if you were okay, like she wasn’t willing to take herself from you just yet. And honestly, you weren’t ready for her to leave you, either. You nodded, and she leaned in again, much slower, and then you had time to think.

Her eyes weren’t the same shade they were when the sun hit them, they were almost an eerie pale blue, but they were still just as gorgeous to you, especially now that they were slanted with desire. Her hair wasn’t perfect like she somehow always managed or it to be, and you realized that it was because you had gotten a hand to run through it despite the way that she had previously held you like a lifeline. Her lashes were long, and you swore that she was close enough that you could count them. Her cheekbones were accentuated in the lighting, making her look like something straight out of a fairy tale, like a floating fae creature that led people to safety. In that moment, you could have sworn that she was the answer to every prayer you had ever whispered, to every question you had ever asked your etiquette teachers. In that moment, and in every moment to come, she was your ending and beginning, your creation and destruction, your sunrise and sunset. She was Natasha Romanoff, and in that moment, no wedding or murderous man even held a candle to the way you felt about her.

What a beautiful person.

“Now you’re looking at me strangely,” Natasha said, her voice quieter than you had ever heard it as the both of you treated over the moment carefully, trying not to break it and leave it in shambles. “What are you thinking about?”

“How I’m going to have to pretend like this never happened in a few weeks,” you said softly, and part of you hated yourself for bringing up the bad part of the future so soon after you both had just lost all ties to reality.

“You don’t have to,” she said, stroking your hair. “We can just keep doing what we’re doing, sneaking off in the night and coming back in the morning before anyone realizes. Nothing really has to change, I just want you to know that I… that we can be whatever you want us to be.”

“As long as we’re in the confines of the garden walls.”

“And now the woods,” Natasha said, and you couldn’t help but laugh in her arms.

“And now the woods."

****

this is short, but i couldn’t see anything being tacked on to this. we’re at an important part, and from here it’s gonna be fun!! thank y’all for reading; if you liked it please drop a like and a reblog bc it makes my day!! comments also make me ascend y’all

tags!! : tags! : @teenwonder @saamwilscn @procrastinatingsapphictrash @fayhar @8plasma @slut-for-nat @dontmindmejustreading @swords-are-cool @200605chaeng @thescottishavenger @antidaytime @jenny-song @madamevirgo @natasha-danvers @blackxwidowsxwife @shycucumbersandwich @dailyavengering @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @ima-gi--na-tion @chickenhavewisdom

so sorry if i forgot anyone!!!!!

#natasha romanov x reader #natasha x female reader #natasha romanoff fluff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #lgbt marvel #marvel fanfic #marvel fanfiction #marvel au #my fics #natasha x reader #knight!natasha #knight au #lesbian!natasha #natasha romanoff x female reader

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shingia · 3 years

Note

Heya. I know this is very angsty of a request, but I saw the fic of characters reacting to their s/o who [tw] relapsed into self harm and was wondering if you would do some for asahi, ushijima, and oikawa?

[𝐓𝐖] 𝐒/𝐎 𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅-𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐌 𝐩𝐭.𝟐

hi ! ofc you can honey <3 i hope these will bring you as much comfort as you need, and plz don’t hesitate to dm me if you need to talk to someone, or to reach out for help in any way. here’s a hug for you bcs you deserve it, love you 💗

also im sorry but i really couldn’t imagine asahi ever arguing with his s/o so i didn’t include this in his fic (he really is too precious)

warnings : mentions of self harm, one mention of blood, some self-depreciating thoughts. please do not read if any of these might trigger something, stay safe everyone <3

➾ 𝐚𝐬𝐚𝐡𝐢

asahi trusted you blindly. and everyday, he had to make an effort to persuade himself that you trusted him in return. you did of course, how could you not trust the one that had helped you through so much ?

but this wasn’t about trust ; it was about shame. because the last thing you wanted was to find in his eyes the anguish and fear as they were a few months ago. you couldn’t do that to him, yet you kept doing that to yourself.

however, you had the misfortune - which was more of a blessing really - to have a very observant boyfriend who cared about you. and he cared enough to gather the courage to finally ask you about what he had hoped you’d come to him for. sat next to you on the couch, he took the plunge.

« do you… do you remember when you promised to always come to me if you needed help ? ». there, he had said it. and from the way that his arm tightened encouragingly around your waist, you understood what he meant by this innocent question. he kept speaking : « you know i trust you, right ? i really do. but something tells me that maybe you forgot about this promise recently ».

each of his words was carefully chosen, more than usual. because even if he didn’t show you, he was terrified of messing up. the fact that you were reluctant to answer was enough for him to understand that he had guessed right. but what confirmed it was the single tear that slowly streamed down your cheek.

« oh angel, no, come here. come, you’re ok now… » he spoke in a tone that was more comforting that anything you had ever heard. his arms were wide open for you to snuggle in, and when they wrapped around you, his words replayed once again in your head. i’m ok now, i’m ok now… you repeated internally. and you were, asahi was a man of his words after all.

« i’m sorry for being weak » you finally said after a few seconds of silence, voice half-muffled by his embrace. his warm fingers traced the outline of your face, encouraging you to look up to him. not because he needed to see your face, he already knew it by heart, but because you needed to see his. « weak ? y-you’re the furthest thing from weak. how can i even put it..? you are one of the strongest person i know, and i wouldn’t be half the man i am today if it weren’t for you.

you wanted to thank him, but exhaustion took hold of your body before any word could leave your tight throat. and when you woke up - two hours later according to the clock - asahi was still there, holding you tight against his heart like a promise to never let go of you anymore.

➾ 𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐣𝐢𝐦𝐚

ushijima hated to waste time and energy on ‘petty fights’, as he liked to call them. but it was really frustrating to always feel like he avoided confrontation ; arguments were necessary in a relationship, and he didn’t seem to understand that.

whenever you got into fights, you were always the only one to get angry, which never failed to make you feel guilty afterwards. and eventually, this feeling of guilt started to become permanent, taking so much place in your brain that you had to sacrifice a part of the self-confidence you had built up the past months. but you didn’t know how much longer you could conceal it.

tonight was the first time you were sleeping together since your most recent fight, the one that had damaged you so badly. and you couldn’t lie, feeling his warmth next to you after about three days spent ignoring him almost felt like a reward. but a reward for what ? you were certainly not proud of what you had done, and you were terrified at the thought that he’d ever notice it. but unfortunately, your efforts to pretend like everything was ok were put to an end in the middle of the night, at about 3 am. something silly, really : ushijima had just turned around in his sleep, and his shoulder accidentally weighed on your wrist, making you hiss in pain. he immediately opened his eyes at the sound, his hand immediately finding its way to your side - he was always a light sleeper with you.

« are you ok ? » he asked, propping himself on an elbow, barely distinguishing your silhouette in the dark. « yeah, just my wrist. come on, let’s go back to sl- ». oh… that wasn’t supposed to be said out loud. it was hard to gauge his reaction since you could not properly see his face, but since he sat on the bed as soon as you interrupted yourself, you understood that it had not fallen on deaf ears. « are you comfortable with me turning on the lights ? » he asked, obvious concern in his voice. saying yes was tempting, because you knew this was a serious matter, but you couldn’t bring yourself to let him see you like this, vulnerable and ashamed.

ushijima accepted it of course, he knew he was not the best with words, so the least he could do was to make sure you were comfortable with whatever he decided to do. « is it ok if i hold you ? » he asked once again, his tone a bit more hesitant. the muscles in your jaw tensed at his words, it was more than ok, or at least you wanted to give it a try, but the worry you had caused him was bringing you back to the familiar feeling of guilt.

however, when he carefully made you rest on top of him like he had always done, something inside you felt healed to know that whatever you were going through did not impact every aspect of your life. his embrace felt the same, so did his heaving chest that rocked your body to sleep every night. surprisingly enough, you did not shed a tear. because the comfort finally felt stronger than the pain, you refused to let anything trouble this moment.

« are you ready to talk about it ? » he questioned, his voice rumbling like a soothing storm in his chest « or do you prefer to wait until tomorrow ? ».

ushijima might have avoided many discussions with you, but this one ? he simply refused to. and if he was more than ready to help you overcome your pain, he also knew not to pressure you into talking. words would come, eventually. but actions were always first.

➾ 𝐨𝐢𝐤𝐚𝐰𝐚

despite his usually confident behavior, oikawa knew he had a tendency to second-guess each and every one of his actions, and to beat himself up quite often.

he could not remember the last time he had felt so utterly disgusted by himself, he was usually more careful with his words. but all it took was one angry outburst from him for you to withdraw into yourself - and he had to fix this as soon as possible.

luckily for him, your relationship was strong enough not to be too affected by this argument - which had not been your first, but definitely the biggest one. however, you had been affected. a lot actually. but you knew better than to talk to him about this, knowing that he would obviously take the blame for your relapse.

but oikawa was attentive, and, clever as he was, it did not take long for him to guess what you were going through when he saw the red-stained tissues in the bathroom trash. it had been two weeks since your fight, and just the thought that he had left you alone with your struggles for so long made him want to throw up.

without wasting any more second, he burst out of the bathroom and made his way to the living room where you were absent-mindedly watching a movie. he would have preferred to have a discussion with you with a clear head, but the sight of the tissues kept spiraling in his head and he was incapable of doing anything else but to pull you in for a hug whose suddenness made you gasp.

oikawa’s hugs were usually soft, with little kisses here and there and a few compliments chuckled in your ear. but today had nothing to do with those. his arms were engulfing your figure in a desperate need to feel you against him, like he was trying to make up for all the time he had left you alone. « i’m so sorry, so sorry baby… can you forgive me ? » he breathed out, his voice cracking with emotion. obviously you knew what he was referring to, how could you not know ? and just like him, the thousand words on your mind only transcribed in your arms wrapping around him, closing the last few millimeters that separated you as you frantically nodded your head yes.

you did not think he had anything to be forgiven for, and sadly, you also knew that he would continue to blame himself no matter what your answer had been. that was actually your biggest motivation to begin your recovery journey. oikawa needed to know that, from now on, you’d turn to him instead of your old habits. and you wanted nothing more than to make him happy, so, since his happiness seemed to depend on yours, it could be considered a package deal towards a better future, together.

before you leave, here are links to two mental health support apps that i hope will help you deal what you are going through right now. i know it’s not much but i’ll be the happiest girl if this helped someone in the tiniest way. take care of yourselves ❤️

Calm Harm - Play Store | App Store

Wysa - Play Store | App Store

@toworuu @catwithangerissues

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu comfort #haikyuu angst #asahi azumane #asahi x reader #ushijima wakatoshi #ushijima x reader #oikawa tooru #oikawa x reader

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cantdanceflynn · 3 years

Text

I did the writing! Tada! Yes it’s camp camp, yes it relies too heavily on my own personal hcs, and yes it feels like it’s supposed to be animated instead. But also I’m really really proud of it bc its the first time I’ve written in ages and I think it’s good. So :D

One quiet, quiet night, at Camp Campbell, a young magician was sitting on his cot, fiddling with a mirror. It had been a little over a week since the Convergence, and frankly, Harrison had it on his mind more than ever. That octopus…… thing, whatever it was, knew his brother? His brother was alive? But, more than anything, he was worried. What if he couldn’t bring him back? What if he did but he messed something up? He’d done it before! At least when he thought his brother was gone for good, he didn’t have to think about that possibility. And he still didn’t know what was going on with his eyes. He got up, glancing over at Nerris as he left the tent. She was still asleep, but she wasn’t the heaviest sleeper, especially recently, so he needed to be quiet. She’d been questioning his tiredness recently, and he didn’t want her worried about him. She worried about him too much for someone she was rivals with anyways.

He quietly and carefully stepped out of the tent, and looked up at the moon. The sky was surprisingly clear this night, although it was growing lighter, and he could see it was a……. waxing gibbous? He was pretty sure that was right. He’d ask Nerris if she was in a good mood in the morning and if she wasn’t too questioning. But looking at it freaked him out after a moment. Part of him expected it to start glowing like it had during the Convergence, even if that wasn’t likely. Even if it wasn’t even possible. Not without the chant. He took a big sigh, and glanced in the mirror. He could only stand looking at his reflection for a split second, but it just confirmed the same thing he hoped he’d been imagining for the past week. His eyes had changed. His eyes were blue.

Not a normal blue, and definitely not the hazel they’d been inside the tent. A light, glowing blue. The blue of the ultra moon. His mind flashed back to the first time he’d noticed it. He’d woken up alone, something that didn’t usually happen, especially with Nerris. He’d gone out to try and find her, but going to Preston’s tent first was a…….. bad idea. Preston had left a mirror outside his tent, and he was unlucky enough to look in it. He’d panicked, and tried going to David and Gwen, the only people who might have understood, or at least listened. But Campbell and all the other campers were there. The best he could come up with quickly as to why he was awake was “woke up alone and got scared”. It wasn’t a lie, but it was an understatement.

He didn’t know what it meant, but it scared him. More than he wanted to admit. He crouched, putting the mirror on the ground, being careful not to look at it, before sitting on the ground. He knew trying to sleep would just give him nightmares, and he didn’t want to risk waking up Nerris by going back in at the moment, so he stayed there. Besides, it wouldn’t be that long until daylight. Until he heard something. A familiar, loud, overdramatic voice. Shit, that was right. Preston had started waking up earlier, to do his rehearsals when people wouldn’t be as “bothered” by them. And based on the volume, he was approaching their tent. No one else had been, or really should be, considering how many activities they did each day, awake around this time. He wasn’t exactly ready to talk with him about recent events. Especially not considering Preston’s recent situation and ensuing play. He wanted to go back in the tent, but based on the sound of Nerris falling out of her cot in surprise at Preston’s voice, it was a little too late. So he stood up quickly, and ran for the forest.

It took him minutes of running through an oddly dark forest blindly for him to realize just how stupid he was being. Like, genuinely stupid. He’d gotten emotional when he was sleep-deprived before, but never to this extent. He could have probably slipped back into the tent before Nerris got her glasses on, and just pretended to sleep until Preston left the area. No one would have noticed anything, and it would have been fine. Now she would figure out why he’d been so tired lately. And if Preston had seen him, they might even be trying to find him. And now he was lost to boot. Lovely. He stomped his foot on the ground in frustration. Why did he always do this? Why could he never be reasonable? He’d gotten lost before, but never at night, and never this far in the woods. He sighed, pushing it down. The most important thing was getting somewhere safe for the next couple hours until it was properly morning, instead of a dark grey sky with fading stars and a lowering moon. That’s what David had said in most of his mandatory “camps”.

A few minutes of walking later, he was tired, and he hadn’t even walked all that far. But he was still lost. And that wasn’t a surprise. Almost everyone here hated the woods. And if no one had seen, they might not even try checking the woods. He could be lost here for ages. That thought was terrifying enough to make him consider using his magic. But when he was this worried? He remembered the single card he’d tried to make appear, and how it turned into a huge mess he’d barely been able to clean up before anyone else woke up. That was a no go. He’d probably burn up the entire forest, or start the volcano back up. Or make the forest homicidal again. And if they’d actually come after him? He shuddered.

If he used his magic while he was like this, well… That would be disastrous. Besides that, he really didn’t want to do anything that could potentially get him stuck here in the woods forever or hurt anyone. He didn’t know what he could do like this. So he continued to walk. Hopefully none of the animals David had warned them about would attack him. Bears, wolves, the platypus on a bad day. The trees were too thick to see the moon at all at this point, but he knew his eyes were still glowing. When he held his hand up to his face, there was light blue light still on it. Still dangerous, and still lost with no clue if anyone would find him.

And then he heard their voices. That theatrical voice, this time with a worried tinge. And that all too familiar lisped condescending voice. Except it was oddly worried as well.

“Are you sure you saw him run this way?”

“OF COURSE I AM! He ran off this way!”

For a second there was a glimpse of hope. They were trying to find him! They cared! Then it hit him. He was only hearing them. Just Nerris and Preston. And that’s all the more reason for him to be scared. It was just them! They were getting themselves lost too! He didn’t want to tell them what he was seeing, what he dealt with, what he did, and he didn’t want to hurt them. That’s why he’d ran away! And now they were going to get themselves lost or hurt, or both, or worse! What was he even supposed to do here? Go towards them and explain everything? He didn’t want to do that. They’d hate him. But if he ran away, they’d all just get more lost. And it’d be his fault. He stood still, trying to figure out what to do. And then his magic decided to make that choice for him.

His hat started floating and he tried to reach, and pull it down. More things around him started floating. Little stones, twigs, all glowing and floating. To the point where it was very much visible. In that moment he heard a noise from behind him. One that sounded a lot like footsteps. With no better options regarding the whole situation, he turned around slowly, his eyes still glowing, brighter than ever. And staring at him were Nerris and Preston. Their blue and golden eyes stared right into his glowing icy blue ones, as debris floated all around the dark area.

He stuttered, trying to explain the situation.

“I-I-I……….”

He couldn’t get anything else out. He stepped back, something that seemed to snap them out of their standstill. Nerris stepped forwards first, her eyes flicking around the clearing. Preston followed, staying quiet for once, also looking around. He stepped backwards again, bumping past more floating sticks and pebbles. He kept panicking. They knew now just what he could properly do. And if he couldn’t gain control of his feelings, he’d set something off, or hurt them, or… or…… With every step he took back, a small rumble grew in the background of the scene. Nerris and Preston kept approaching him, a…… new. Was that the right word? New. Look in their eyes. He didn’t know how to describe it. It wasn’t the fearful looks he was used to. And it wasn’t sympathetic or faked. It was similar to the looks Nikki used to give him during his magic shows. Awe. It was awe.

And it was also confusion. Confusion at what was happening. But it was mostly confusion at him. He felt his chest tightening at that. He felt anger build inside. Not at them. At himself. For being such a coward. He couldn’t believe how stupid he’d been. How he’d gotten himself into this situation. At least if they were scared of him, they’d leave him alone. They wouldn’t get hurt by his powers, and they wouldn’t disappear. He couldn’t handle that. The rumbling grew louder, and it became clear very quickly that Nerris and Preston could hear it too. Their faces grew more confused and……. scared. And for some reason, one he knew, even though this was what he wanted, he hated it. When his foot came down again, slightly harder than before, the rumbling turned into shaking. The forest began shaking around them, causing Preston to fall over, taking Nerris down with him.

It was hard to understand what was happening, but he knew enough to realize it was his fault. He was doing it. They were going to get hurt and it was all his fault! This was exactly what he was scared of. His hands flew up to the sides of his head, trying to hold it down, as he fell back onto the ground with a thud, making more debris fly around, some of it almost hitting Nerris and Preston. Preston sat up first, and helped Nerris up into a sitting position as she adjusted her glasses. He met their eyes, and somehow, their eyes still weren’t mostly filled with fear.

But instead, they were filled with a mixture between worry, and the same awe. He shook slightly, tears forming in his eyes and, as much as he tried to stop them, running down his face. As much as he didn’t want to, he couldn’t help but speak. Like he couldn’t control himself. “I d….didn’t want you guys to….. to.. get hurt.. b…..by me. A…. and now….. now.. now you w…. will.“ He tried to push the sobs down, but they bubbled up, wracking his body. The shaking started again, and the floating got worse. Bushes started uprooting themselves, full on stones in the ground and the tips of roots all started floating away, and so did Nerris and Preston, flailing at the air and trying to grab onto something.

Both of them looked panicked and terrified, as each movement threw them further into a panic. They couldn’t move while floating, no matter how hard they reached for something, or how fast they tried to control their floating. He couldn’t look at them anymore. He buried his tear stricken face in his knees, shaking and just trying to keep himself from doing anything else, because if he did anything permanent? Just that thought made everything worse. Huge chunks of the earth pulled themselves out of the ground all around him, and the leaves on the trees started floating away too. At this rate, the trees would completely float away. Along with Nerris and Preston. He buried his head even further into his legs, which were almost completely damp from his crying at this point.

And then the ground underneath him started floating too. He tried ignoring it, hoping with all his heart that it would just go back down, that he could just be left alone, that they wouldn’t worry about him ever again. He hated the idea, but it was safe. It was what everyone else had done, and what he deserved. Everything shook, forcing him onto his feet. The piece of ground around him wasn’t exactly big, and he was barely able to keep his balance. Eventually he could stand there without constantly watching his feet. He knew what he would see if he looked up. He could see the glow, ever present, just as he could still feel the tears flowing down his face. He tried to sigh, to let out some fear and frustration, but all that came out was a body wracking sob.

After a few seconds, he gathered the very last of his courage, and looked up at Nerris and Preston, stuck floating in front of him. They looked like they were desperately trying to move, speak, do something, but his magic had reached a point where they couldn’t even do that. But the looks in their eyes were unmistakable. Fear. Perfect, typical, fear. The safe kind, that would keep them away and alive. Not hurt, not gone possibly forever, not dead. But their eyes hit his, and all that fear morphed into…… pleading. No more awe. No more confusion. Just pleading. They wanted it to be over. And so did he. He turned halfway around, trying not to see that look any longer. He couldn’t stand it. He didn’t want them to be scared of him, it hurt. But it hurt when they weren’t. Because then they’d get hurt. Above the trees, he could see the sun rising. And he knew that they could see it too. They slowly descended as the glow in his eyes faded, leaving them their typical hazel.

The ground and everything around it settled back into place, leaving the clearing almost the same, minus the things he’d bumped into. Behind him, he heard Nerris and Preston gain their footing, now that the magic had faded. He’d stopped sobbing by this point, but tears were still falling. He waited to hear them run off, scream, say something, do something. But the only noise he could hear was a few birds chirping. He turned around hesitantly, expecting standstill fear on their faces. Instead, all he saw was…….. just them. There wasn’t any fear, or any sympathy. No awe or confusion either. It was just…….. them. Staring at him.

Eventually Nerris spoke. "Y…you’re ok…… You’re ok, right?” Her tone was just……. worried. She was worried. About him. After everything? Why did she even care to begin with? Preston followed suit, his voice quiet for once and just as worried, with a hint of fear that Harrison no longer cared about in it. “That was……. terrifying. Are you?” Nerris stepped forwards, and reached out to touch him, but paused when she saw him flinch. She took in a shaky breath before reaching out again, patting him on the shoulder. Preston did the same, both clearly trying to comfort him. And all he could do was stare in disbelief.

They didn’t hate him. Nerris, who he used to antagonize over something he couldn’t even control, and who he’d jab at for nothing. Preston, who he constantly teased for something he couldn’t imagine doing, let alone for as long as he had, and who he’d hurt even after the entire mental breakdown he’d had. And despite that, and despite his magic, they didn’t hate him. Despite what he just did to them. They were worried about him. “W……. why are yo……….u wo……rri…..ed abo…….ut m…..e?” He hadn’t realized how much he was still crying until he heard himself speak. It was a lot. He tried to stop them, but as always, the effort was wasted.

Another sob escaped. And another. Soon, there was nothing he could do to stop or deny it. He was crying more then he ever had before. Nerris and Preston exchanged a look, one he couldn’t read, and wrapped their arms around him. Part of him wanted to pull away. Wanted to make them go away. Wanted to convince them he was too dangerous. Like everyone else he’d really known had. But despite all of that, he found his arms wrapping around them too, as his entire body shook. But even through all the tears, he could still hear Preston’s voice. “Because we’re all your friends.”

“Obviously!”, Nerris added comfortingly. The only response he could muster was cut off by his tears, so he just wrapped his arms around them tighter. And they seemed to understand that. Eventually they sank down to the ground, sitting in what could be best described as a hug pile. When he could finally speak through his tears, he couldn’t think of anything to say other then, “Thank you.” It wasn’t shaky or broken like he thought it would be. They both gave him a loose smile.

“Of course,” Preston said, still quiet. “We’re here for you,” Nerris told him, removing her arms from the mess that their hug pile was. Preston gave him an extra quick squeeze, before doing the same. They sat there for a little bit before Preston spoke again, his voice having regained its theatrical edge, although it was still quiet. “Do you want to talk about it? Gwen’s been trying to help me talk about things more, and it helps. I think it helps anyway. I’m not very good at it.” Nerris gave Preston a much more readable look, one of “not right now”. He’d seen it before. But it took him surprisingly little time to respond.

“Yeah. I haven’t exactly been attending Gwen’s therapy sessions. For a number of reasons.” He hadn’t noticed until this point, but he was barely crying anymore. Nerris gave him a small nod, clearly listening. “I….. I mean, you saw what I did back there. I can’t really control it that well…….. especially when I’m emotional. Which is most of the time when I don’t sleep.” The looks of sympathetic understanding on their faces gave him a little more confidence. “And you were there at the Parent’s day show. You saw my parents, right?” Preston nodded, as Nerris’ shoulders slumped and she rubbed her arm. He’d been too open. Shit. He shrunk in on himself, something that they immediately noticed.

“Hey…. It’s not your fault they’re like that. We should have noticed sooner.” Nerris was trying her best to make him feel better, he knew that, but her wording just hurt more. At this point he didn’t have the energy to cry anymore, so he settled for curling in on himself more. The two got closer, Nerris draping her cape over him and Preston rubbing his back before speaking. “Gwen says if it hurts too much, you don’t have to talk about it.” Harrison sighed. “I…. I do want to talk about it. But I haven’t before, and it………. definitely hurts. And it really is my fault.”

Nerris seemed lost in thought for a little bit, before speaking. “Well, considering you’re talking to the elf who plays Dnd with her stuffed animals, I don’t think you have to worry about us judging you?” Her tone was oddly reassuring. Preston joined in. “Exactly! I put on plays that everyone hates all the time! How are we going to judge you?” His shoulders sunk at that. “Exactly. I’m a terrible friend. I tease you about your larping all the time, and I didn’t even try to support any of your plays." Nerris sighed. "Well, yeah, it used to hurt, but everyone did it, and either way, you haven’t really been doing it recently. And we’re still friends. And….. I’m sorry too. I did the same to Preston.” Preston had looked more hurt after Harrison had finished speaking, but he perked up at Nerris’ apology. He didn’t say anything but the thankful smile was good enough for Nerris. And he decided to take it as enough too. He sighed.

“What happened was……….. bad. Very bad. If I could change the past, I would. I wish I could, honestly. I’m here to make things reappear because I made someone disappear.” He paused, taking a shaky breath. Any other time, and at the very least, this would have gone smoother. But right now, he didn’t think he had that option. “My brother.” He didn’t expect them to leave. They wouldn’t do that. He’d figured that out by now. But he wasn’t surprised when Nerris drew in a sharp breath, and Preston’s eyes flickered away. He sighed, managing not to cry through a combination of already having cried so much and being too tired. They sat there, all of them thinking, for at the very least five minutes. It felt like longer. He could practically see the gears turning in their brains.

Eventually Nerris spoke. “That………. explains a…………… lot. Do you want to just…………………… leave it at that?” Her tone was worried, in more ways then one. He reluctantly nodded. He’d already told them more then he’d told basically anyone else besides his parents. Preston kept quiet. After this entire situation, Harrison wondered if he’d ever be quiet again. Then, another thought crossed his mind. “How are we getting back to camp? Aren’t we kind of lost out here?” Nerris let out a small chuckle at that. “Yeah, because Nikki doesn’t have your scent down flat from her time as your apprentice. We should just stay here. We’ll be fine.”

He let out a small smile at that. They’d be fine. “We’ll be fine.” He repeated it to himself, looking up. Even though the trees were still thick, he could see that the sun was definitely properly up by now. He really was tired. He yawned, more for effect then anything else, and decided he might as well get as little sleep as he was getting on the ground. He must have been more tired than he thought, because as Nerris and Preston did the same next to him, he didn’t even try protesting.

A few hours later, Nikki lead the rest of the camp to a sleeping trio. If they had been awake, they would have heard the multiple sighs of relief, and the few mutterings of “thank goodness” or “they’re safe”, few being quite literal. They would have seen the worried looks turn into feigned annoyance or apathy or just happiness. But as it stood, they would wake up together at about two, and go about their normal activities, glancing at each other every time they crossed paths. No one asked them about what had happened, and they were grateful for that. But Harrison just slept in his tent that night, and within a week, Preston had moved his bed and some of his stuff in the tent. And for some reason that no one else would get for a very long time, there weren’t any complaints.

#camp camp #cc harrison #cc nerris #cc preston #harrison #nerris #preston goodplay #campcamp #writing #performance trio #cc nikki #ig #for the record the hcs u need to know r #harrison gets super emotional when hes sleep deprived #preston has been attending gwens little therapy sessions #and harrison did not get sucked into the realm of a god and had his soul read by an octopus to have no physical or magic based changes

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forthiswholeworld · 4 years

Text

for @cursed-or-not because we’re thriving on each other’s clownery (page break bc this got Too Long to inflict on unsuspecting dashes)

They’ve had Cas back for four days when Dean realizes something is wrong.

For a paralyzing moment, he stumbles on the thought, feels the fear of it choking him as he freezes in the doorway with a mug of coffee in his hand. He watches Cas blink dazedly at Sam’s debriefing on the rugaru in San Antonio and wills himself forward, wills his mind not to go straight to darkness and loss and cosmic consequences. Cas flashes a ragged smile as Dean sets the mug in front of him, and it occurs to Dean that maybe this is less about cosmic consequences than it is humanity.

Now that Dean thinks about it, he can see it: the circles under his eyes, the weary slope of his back-- the things Dean had attributed to resurrection rather than humanity.

Cas is human, though, and Dean thinks he needs to remember that before he remembers that he was gone.

Cas needs food and laundry detergent and coffee and sleep, and now that he thinks about it Dean is absolutely sure he hasn’t seen Cas touch his bed since he got back.

He doesn’t bring it up; they’ve been here before. They’ve come back and kept secrets and spent sleepless nights trying to fix things before, and heart-to-hearts have never gotten them anywhere.

Instead, Dean drinks three pots of coffee and waits.

It’s 2:07 AM when he hears the echo of footsteps in the hallway. He swings open the door and tries to look like he hasn’t been waiting in ambush as Cas freezes.

“Dean,” he says, voice rough and a little frantic, and Dean is reminded of the days he’d wake up to Cas blithely watching him from the foot of his bed. (The days when Heaven filled the space between them and Dean didn't understand the difference between being a human and being human.)

He watches Cas’ eyes flit away from his gaze and smiles brazenly. “Trouble sleeping?”

Cas shifts on his feet. “No,” he says like he’s not the worst liar in the entire multiverse.

Dean holds his gaze for another beat before breathing a sigh. “Cas.” He settles back against the doorframe to scrutinize him. “What’s up?”

Cas swallows. His eyes trace a scuff on the floor. “It gets so quiet here at night,” he mutters, and Dean understands.

He works his jaw as he realizes. He thinks he should’ve recognized the signs. He should’ve seen the tired eyes and haunted glances and known then, because Dean doesn’t know what it’s like to come back from nothingness, but he knows what it’s like to close his eyes and see hell.

He watches Cas’s gaze flit from the floor to the wall behind him and settle just above Dean’s left shoulder, and he’s not consciously aware of deciding anything but he’s inhaling to say something, and he guesses it better be good because there’s not a whole lot he can say to heal emptiness.

“Sleep in my room,” he says, and he’s not sure which of them it surprises more.

“Dean—” Cas starts, and Dean knows he’s going to refuse, but there’s a millisecond where his gaze catches on Cas’s and there’s something heavy in the space between them, and Dean knows what it is but he’s always refused to put a name to it.

Cas swallows as he looks away. “As long as you don’t mind,” he says, and Dean also tears his gaze away before he can do something dumb like consider the vulnerability of it.

“Come on then,” he mutters as he heads back into his room. “You can take the bed.”

“Dean—” Cas protests like Dean knew he would, and Dean narrowly avoids rolling his eyes.

“We’ll both take it then,” he says before he can ponder the sheer idiocy of it.

Cas hesitates beside the bed, but Dean thinks he must be either too tired or too apathetic to argue, because he swallows and steps forward.

Cas is careful as he pulls back the comforter and settles in; he’s careful not to take too much blanket or too much space, and they both lie stiffly on their respective sides of the bed until Dean decides he can’t take it anymore and clears his throat a little obnoxiously. He hears Cas huff a laugh.

“You said it was too quiet,” Dean says softly, and he’s grateful for the darkness because he thinks he’s wearing a damningly fond expression.

He thinks he feels Cas relax as he mutters, “that’s on me, then.”

The stillness doesn’t feel so stifling after that, and he hears Cas’s breathing start to even out.

He can feel the thrum of caffeine in his veins as he watches the ceiling. Even in the dark, he can see the outline of the ceiling fan, the trimming on the wall, the chair in the corner. He can hear Cas’s breathing, feel the warmth in the space between them, and he realizes he has no idea what emptiness is. He wonders how long it’s been since Cas closed his eyes without seeing it.

He lies awake for the next three hours, but the rise and fall of Cas’s chest is steady and even beside him, so the caffeine overdose is a small price to pay. There are no windows in his room, but if there were he’d be able to see the first hazy traces of sunrise filtering in by the time he starts to drift off.

Cas is gone when he wakes up.

He staggers out of his room just before noon, and Cas doesn’t quite meet his eye as he wordlessly hands him a plate of pancakes, courtesy of Sam and Eileen, but Dean thinks the circles under his eyes look a little less absurd, and it’s enough.

The next night, Dean leaves his door open.

He isn’t sure what he’s expecting, but 11:00 rolls around and he’s just getting ready to turn out the lights when he hears a tentative knock at the doorframe. He looks up to see Cas in the doorway.

“I couldn’t sleep,” Cas mumbles, and something about his awkward stance and fragile uncertainty makes Dean’s chest ache.

He thinks this is where he becomes brash; this is where he scoffs a laugh and brushes off this heaviness like neither of their shoulders are bowed under the weight of what-ifs. This is where he flees back to the safe side of the lines they’ve drawn.

He swallows. “You wanna come in?”

Cas stills. “I--” his eyes flit to Dean and then away in a millisecond. “No. I just--”

“Cas,” Dean interrupts, and he guesses he’s being reckless instead of brash and can’t say whether it’s for the best but he can feel the thrill of it in his veins. “Get in here.”

Cas watches him for half a beat, probably just as surprised as Dean is that he’s managed not to be a defensive asshole about this, and then he swallows. “Thank you.”

Dean thinks he absolutely doesn’t deserve a thank you, but Cas shuffles in and hesitates at the side of the bed and before he can say as much he’s pulling the comforter aside to make room.

Dean falls asleep earlier tonight; he thinks it has something to do with not being hyped up on three pots of coffee and the thrill of reckless, stupid ideas. He’s not sure when Cas nodded off, but he wakes up at 3:42 to the sound of gasping, panicked breathing.

“Cas?” He asks with a sleep-worn voice but he’s halfway across the bed, reaching for Cas’s shoulder before he can get a response or take half a second to consider how horrible an idea this is.

“Dean,” Cas breathes, and Dean isn’t sure if it’s a question or an answer or a prayer but Cas’s breath mingles with his as he says it and something in the fragile space between them finally shatters as Cas leans into the touch.

Dean pulls him into his chest, holds him there and tries not to let the ache of it convince him he’s going to regret this.

Cas clutches the back of Dean’s shirt like it’s all that’s keeping him tethered to this world where things are allowed to make noise and wake up and see light, and Dean rests his palms against Cas’s shoulders and wishes he had the words to promise he’s holding on just as tight.

Dean isn’t sure how long it is, whether it’s two minutes or three hours or an eternity, but Cas’s grip on his shirt loosens, and he breathes less stuttered exhales, and he rests his chin somewhere in the crook of Dean’s shoulder and closes his eyes.

Dean leans slowly back against the headrest and thinks he’s never been very good at this.

The intimacy of it is familiar—the weight of an arm over his stomach, the heady tangle of limbs, the needy warmth— that’s always come naturally to him. It’s the tenderness that gets him. It’s the brush of Cas’ breath against his neck, the softness of ten years of fear and loss and a word that Dean can’t say as easily as he should. It’s the ache where the rhythm of his pulse screams something between I want this forever and I’m so afraid.

Cas is gone when he wakes up.

Cas is gone, and Dean’s arm is stiff and he wonders if it will ever be enough just to hold an angel haunted by empty nights.

That night, he tells himself he isn't waiting for the knock.

He tells himself he’s not waiting, but he hears the shuffle of bare feet in the hall and a single rap at the door and a millisecond later he’s swinging it open.

Tonight, there’s no apologetic hesitance or fumbling for words.

There’s Cas, standing plainly in the doorway and there’s Dean, dropping his hand from the doorknob and standing too close. There’s the tilt of Cas’s head as he searches Dean’s face for something Dean knows with terrified certainty he’ll find, and there’s Dean’s gaze flitting to his mouth for a stupid, breathless moment. There’s the part of Cas’s lips and the desperate beating of Dean’s heart, the distant electric buzz of the lights and the hitch of his breath as Cas leans forward—

There’s the cluttered breath and scrape of teeth as their mouths crash together.

His lungs stutter on the drag of stubble and chapped lips and tired warmth, and because he never thought he’d be allowed to, he pulls Cas in, clutches the front of his shirt and crowds him up against the doorway until they’re pressed together and they can both feel the desperate rhythm of his pulse. Cas’s fingers ghost over his jaw and something in Dean is absolutely dizzy with the realness of it.

He doesn’t know how long it is before Cas breaks away but he feels ready to shatter.

“I couldn’t sleep,” Cas says, and Dean breathes a ragged laugh into his shoulder.

There are still things he can’t say, words that form in his chest sit and like a lump in his throat and will probably stay unsaid for just a little while longer, but he lets his arms circle Cas’ waist and murmurs “sleep in here, then,” and he has to bury his face in the crook of Cas’ neck to hide a stupidly fond smile.

Cas breathes a soft “thank you” against his temple as Dean pulls him toward the bed, and Dean can hear the worn tiredness in his voice and thinks that might be all there is for a while but for the first time in their lives they have time, and it’s enough.

It’s enough, he thinks, and he pulls Cas against his chest and holds onto him until there’s no empty space between them.

#supernatural fanfic #destiel #deancas #destiel fanfic #deancas fanfic #s15 #the empty #bed sharing #i'm the most basic person alive and i just want them to be happy sue me!!#spn #fanfic #idek if this is gonna show up on mobile bc it's Too Long but go off!!#my writing #rambling

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morifinwes · 3 years

Note

Lauraa I finished all the fics, apart from decay (currently reading that now) and I love it sm! Especially the lip gloss one lmao the whole thing was so hilarious to me XD but also like the concept of lwj wearing lipgloss is >>> -yibobibo

@yibobibo then i'm going to rec you some more!! the lip gloss one was !!!!! ajsksks yes!! lwj wearing lipgloss is just so!! good!!

modern

this one is the painful one i talked about:

visitations by var_abelasan (12K, wip, divorced wangxian, post divorce, most of this is angst, uhm lowkey don't but also do want wangxian to end up together, it's messy, the jiangs & lans are shitty, wwx was in prison (brief mentions of that but it's kind of a major plot point), mxy & xy are the little brothers he never wanted but wwx picked them up anyways)

"Wei Ying-" Lan Zhan says, stutters, "I'm sorry."

And now Wei Wuxian sees it, the red rimming Lan Zhan's eyes, the rumpled edges of his blazer. There is an old, familiar urge for him to reach over, to hold Lan Zhan's hand and smooth his hair, to tell him that everything will be fine.

"We're all a bit sorry about this, I think," he says instead, and finds that he means it. For Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji and everyone else in that Guanyin temple, the pain must be unbearably fresh, like skin just flayed open. But Wei Wuxian's chest had been cracked open a long time ago, his wounds licked and cauterized and sewn shut over five long years - Ever hurting, but a dull, constant ache, "It's really alright, Lan Zhan."

Five years after being accused of corporate espionage and losing everything, the Guanyin Scandal breaks open and Wei Wuxian finds a familiar face at his door.

please don't let me be misunderstood by sysrae (3K, partly deaf!wwx, lwj notices, nobody else does though, idk wwx is like made out of fucking steel or some shit)

Lan Wangji has known Wei Ying for a fortnight, the first time he sees him get hit by a car.

light by redkosmos (10K, blind!lwj, which causes angst, but they manage it, best friends to lovers, fluff, lwj being insecure and feeling like a burden, college au kind of? but it doesn't matter too much)

The realization slowly dawns on him.

He can never again see the brightness of Wei Ying's eyes, the way they crescent when he smiles, never again see the rich black of his hair, the mess of it in the early mornings, never again see the beautiful tan of his skin, the beauty of the scars and marks adorned on it, how he wears his clothes, how it hugs his frame beautifully, how he looks like he's adorably swimming in cloth when he wears Lan Zhan's, and-

(Lan Zhan loses his vision in a car accident and learns to cope with it.)

don't leave me by trippinonskies (19K, brief very brief mention of lwj cheating, he doesn't but wwx is afraid lwj is cheating on him or just wants to break up with him, (he doesn't), marriage proposal, lwj acting distant = wwx's insecurities show up, fluff, angst and comfort)

Lan Zhan! Where are you lost today?” Wei Wuxian finally asks, at the end of his patience.

Lan Zhan looks a little guilty as he looks at Wei Wuxian, “Sorry, just a lot of work to deal with.”

Lie.

If there is one thing Lan Zhan can’t do, it’s lying. Especially to Wei Wuxian. But he doesn’t question Lan Zhan. He just accepts the reply, too scared to know that he is right. Too scared to know the truth.

// or where Lan Zhan is too hung up in planning the perfect proposal and ends up accidently ignoring Wei Wuxian making the other think that he wants to break up //

want you closer by xiaobucephalus ((3K, HORSES, only in the background tho, but wwx is an equestrian vet, which is so fucking valid bro, the lans own horses, a sick bunny, lwj the bunny parent!, super cute, dark bay throughoutbred chenqing is honestly so valid)

“Thank you,” Lan Zhan said, breathing a sigh of relief.

“Don’t thank me, Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying laughed again, his voice warming the chill of fear that had settled in his chest. “I’ve been looking for an excuse to get into your hutch for a while anyway.”

safe in your thoughts by anonymous (20K, it's a cherry magic au???? (i haven't watched it, but you have i think?), horny lwj but only for wwx (always for wwx))

Wei Wuxian learns three very important things on the night of his twenty-seventh birthday.

One, that Lan Wangji is ridiculously funny, which Wei Wuxian had known before but what Wei Wuxain hadn’t expected was Lan Wangji to be funny at his brother’s expense.

Two, that Wei Wuxian had finally gone mad, absolutely mental at the ripe age of twenty seven because nothing else would explain the third thing he had learnt.

Third, and the most unbelievable of the lot, that Lan Wangji wants to fuck him.

iura by yoo_im_finally_writing (1K, only added bcs op is right and wwx would've the cutest german accent, it's more fun if you understand german so hit me up if you want translations for the german sentences)

Wei Ying calls in the middle of the night to talk about German law, and Lan Zhan tries very hard not to fall asleep. Or at least, not to let Wei Ying notice he's falling asleep. (As best friends do.)

breathe in the air, the last of its kind by wereworm / @neverdoingmuch (27K, getting together, jealous!lwj, but also kind of supportive, brief mention of cheating bcs of miscommunication, no actual cheating tho, college au, lwj pov)

Following Wei Ying’s line of sight, Lan Wangji can barely prevent a smile from crossing his lips when he sees the short row of rabbit statuettes placed at the front of the display. Silver, with bright gems for eyes, they look elegant yet lively and animated.

“A-Yuan would love one of those,” Wei Ying murmurs, almost as if to himself.

Lan Wangji frowns; the rabbits, while cute, don’t seem like a suitable gift for Wei Ying’s A-Yuan.

...

It’s only when he glances back at the rabbits and notices what has been placed on display behind them, that the pieces fall into place. They’re engagement rings, there’s no doubt about it. Lan Wangji feels his heart sink – Wei Ying isn’t just dating A-Yuan, he wants to propose to him.

Or: the five times Lan Wangji thinks that A-Yuan is Wei Ying’s boyfriend and the one time he learns the truth.

paint smears on sunny days by snowshadowao3 / @angstsexual (53K, getting together, art teacher!wwx, single parent!lwj, they're rich if i remember right, wwx & lwj are both good with kids!!!, this is so good actually, fluff)

To say that he runs to his car would be incorrect, as he is a Lan, and running is both undignified and unnecessary unless in immediate danger. Nor does he slam his key into the ignition, or aggressively swerve around the cars on the freeway, or have a mild panic attack at the fact he is picking A-Yuan up late from school for the first time ever.

He comes close, though.

By the time he arrives, it’s 4:35PM, and he has imagined about fifty different worse-case scenarios. The door is partly open when he gets to it, a messy label of 104B—Art Room scrawled with chalk on a placard next to the faded wood. As he opens it fully, he expects to see a wailing, terrified child, or perhaps a scene of utter misery and betrayal.

What he finds is his son, hands covered in paint, being sung to by a beautiful, dark-haired stranger.

“Ducks live in the pond, yellow ducks, happy ducks!”

Lan Wangji stops in his tracks.

(Or: Falling in love with your son’s art teacher, in five parts)

no bunny compares by gusucloudbunny (4K, god this is cute, fluff)

“Lan Zhan!” Wei Wuxian cornered his friend one week before his birthday. “If you could have anything in the world, what would it be?”

Lan Wangji furrowed his brow at Wei Wuxian, not exactly sure how to answer that question in a truthful manner that didn’t involve confessing his undying love for his best friend.

Wei Wuxian is on a mission to get Lan Wangji the perfect gift for his birthday. What Wei Wuxian doesn't know is that the only thing Lan Wangji truly wants is him.

wei wuxian's week of realizing things by photojenny (12K, i have read this multiple times, i always forget what happens, idk why but my notes say it's good, the tags say drunkji makes an appearance and i'm always up for that)

"Lan Zhan, do you like Mianmian?" asked Wei Wuxian.

Lan Wangji blinked, and stared. It was not the first time Lan Wangji had questioned the perceptiveness of the boy he had a crush on. Wei Wuxian had been smart in the class they had taken together. Yet time and time again, Wei Wuxian had tested the old wisdom that there are no stupid questions.

---

Lan Wangji must figure out how to confess when Wei Wuxian is the most oblivious person he's ever met.

are you my wisdom tooth? because i'd like to take you out by yellowcarnations (1K, crack, fluff, lwj stop flirting with a stranger, even if he is your husband, drunkji but make it to max level)

Lan Zhan wakes up and he has no idea where he is.

There are bright lights and his jaw hurts, he doesn't who this man next to his bed is but oh he might be in love, maybe, probably, definitely.

–

based off that guy-forgets-who-his-wife-is-and-hits-on-her vid but its wangxian.

beep! goes his heart by wearing_tearing (3K, fluff, lwj is like "he, he likes me right? he likes me" and everyone is like "yes, yes he does")

“Wei Ying’s heart monitor,” Lan Wangji starts.

Wen Qing blinks at him. “Yes?”

“It beeps.”

“That’s… what they generally do, yes.”

“The beeps change,” Lan Wangji continues, “when others are around.”

Wei Ying’s heart only sings for Lan Wangji.

canon

obedient and bellicose by thunderwear (19K, lwj is cursed by the lan elders, they notice too late, fix-it fic kind of?, lqr being a good uncle and lxc is a good brother, wwx accidentally uses the curse but he doesn't know about it)

It took Lan Wangji a long time to realize he was cursed. Too long really, anyone else would have noticed so much sooner. The problem was, he liked following the rules.

Ella Enchanted AU that no one needed but I wanted.

hello my old heart, how have you been? by ravenditefairylights (10K, amnesia, fluff, wwx taking care of lwj, so much fluff and softness, angst too but not that much)

The issue is, Lan Wangji brings his thoughts back before they stray too far, that it is impossible for someone to be in his bed, unless Lan Wangji himself invited them. He has not. He would remember doing so, and besides, all his night clothes are still on and there is no headache to imply that he was inebriated last night. No, the situation is simple.

There is someone in Lan Wangji’s bed. It is impossible for anyone to be in Lan Wangji’s bed, and yet that doesn’t seem to have stopped the stranger.

or lan wangji wakes up, and wei ying is there. he doesn't understand how or why, and he can understand even less why his hallucination of wei ying is so insistent on bathing him, and braiding his hair, on holding him and fixing his clothes. why the hallucination of wei ying seems so happy to see him.

teach me the way by likeafox (58K, rogue cultivator!wwx, horny wangxian, lwj wants wwx to teach him how to be a good lover, ....wwx is a virgin, the porn is the plot, but there's less of it than i thought)

"I do not wish to leave my future spouse… dissatisfied with my intimate knowledge,” Lan Zhan says, very seriously. “I am hoping to find an instructor, to better prepare myself for such matters."

Wei Ying feels his mouth drop open. He's pretty sure the Second Jade of Lan just told him he's a virgin who wants to learn how to do sex good.

Rogue Cultivator Wei Wuxian is the stuff of local legends. Some of those legends are even true! The ones about his tremendous experience in bed, on the other hand, are not so true. Which becomes a problem when Lan Wangji, on the verge of an arranged marriage and worried he won’t know how to please his future spouse, enlists Wei Ying's help to teach him the art of love-making. Wei Ying's great at improvisation, though, and is pretty sure he's got this sex mentor thing under control. What could possibly go wrong

other aus

of god: my love unholy by tunnelodfawn (3K, tw blood / war, dark!lwj, god!wwx, kind of poetry)

Lan Zhan takes everything as a sign from his god. The blood staining his fingertips—a holy anointment. He sanctifies himself through blood. The strings of his guqin gleam red in the sun—a divine blessing. This is an instrument of destruction. A single note—a cry of power—and in this note the voice of his god unravels the earthly threads tethering man to earth.

The Yiling Patriarch blesses Lan Zhan with war. Wei Wuxian blesses Lan Zhan with agility. Wei Ying blesses Lan Zhan with love.

The base of the Yiling Patriarch’s shrine is the home of Lan Zhan’s knees. He worships. There is something of the blasphemous and the unholy in his prayers. He prays not for victory but for the sight of Wei Ying. Bless me with your presence, he begs.

Or, wherein, Lan Zhan bridges the gap between the mortal and the divine—the worshipper and the god—with blood.

the river and the sea by sasamelons / @sasamelons (7K, soulmate au, arranged marriage (wangxian with each other), they're both kind of dumb but i love it)

Lan Wangji gritted his teeth, wishing to just be left alone. "I am looking for my soulmate," he ground out.

"Oh."

It took Lan Wangji a few moments to realize that Wei Wuxian had stopped following him. When he looked back, the other boy seemed to be frozen to the spot, eyes wide and lips still parted. He quickly looked away when he saw Lan Wangji looking back. "I see. Well, have a good trip!"

At six years old, Lan Zhan met his soulmate on the streets of Yiling and promptly lost him again.

At sixteen years old, Lan Wangji met his betrothed and was determined not to like him.

#so...i realized i forgot to check the things i already listed but? i tried to avoid listing fics twice?#yes i've mostly been reading oneshots these past few weeks idk why but i can't seem to find any long fics #or at least not ones that i like #wei wuxian #lan wangji #wangxian #wangxian fics #mdzs #mdzs fic #cql fic #the untamed #aamna tag #we're almost through the rec list now? i have so much open but idk why i add so few #i'm just really picky when it comes to which ones to write down and which ones not #and then this became a kind of comfort list?#idk?#but also ANGST #not Angst but ANGST #fun fact: Angst means fear in german

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gwyns · 3 years

Note

what would be your ideal elucien arc in canon?

this is a very good question and one i'll probably ramble with so sorry lmao i actually thought about an elucien plot a lot years ago. i had quite a few ideas and was trying to plot my own multi-chapter fic around them but well..... that didn't work out and this ended up getting really long, so i apologize for that lol

so here's the overall gist of what would've/what i would like to eventually happen one day. elain had a vision of lucien being harmed or something along those lines and her instinct had her finding him. whether this was through her learning she could winnow or some other means, i hadn't decided but eventually she'd show up and lucien would be so dumbfounded and question her reason for being there and ask if feyre knew she was here and elain would get defensive like "i didn't realize she was my keeper." and this is the first time lucien has truly seen her bite, her little bit of fire, so he's taken aback a bit but quickly reassures her she needs no keeper and he hadn't meant offense.

she gives an excuse about how she wants to see prythian and that nobody would show her so she decided to show herself, bc she doesn't want to admit she cares for him, even a fraction bc it might give him hope that she ultimately would have to crush. and it's not entirely a lie, she would like to travel and see the world, but it's not the whole truth either.

so moving on they'd partner up and he'd bring elain along on whatever adventures he's getting up to, they'd meet up with jurian and vassa of course and i have this headcanon that she and vassa would be the perfect friends. vassa is human so she'd offer elain something familiar you know? and vassa is also the type to stand her ground and she has a fire of her own so i feel like she'd help elain grow into herself and be more assertive and stroke the fire within elain some. as for elain and jurian.... it's awkward at first bc jurian is partially responsible for elain's turn (at least in her head) and he was there when graysen rejected her and so she overall has had bad experiences when he's around so she doesn't know what to make of him.

over time she comes to find that jurian isn't as intimidating as he first lets on. he's quite considerate and good at reading people, and he knows to some extent what she's gone through (as does vassa), he was tortured and killed by amarantha then bound to her jewelry for 500 years. he understands the feeling of violation and having a fae treat you as some toy and little more, and he apologizes for his part in her trauma. after this, i can see him becoming something of a big brother type to elain, they have a relationship few would understand but they listen to each other's troubles and just get it you know?

anyway, back to her and lucien. i can see them both being kind of reluctant in the beginning? elain bc she doesn't want to give him any ideas and lucien doesn't know want to pressure her so he keeps his distance but as they're working together, with the spring court, koschei, her learning more about her abilities, etc they both start to see how capable they each are and their feelings start to show here. for lucien it's more natural, like he always had a feeling that if he spent enough time with elain he could fall in love with her but with elain? she's freaked out. she doesn't want this, she wants her ability to choose. and maybe it's just the mating bond reacting for her or at least this is what she tells herself to explain away the butterflies she gets whenever lucien smiles at something she said.

at some point they have to travel to the autumn court and lucien is terrified, he doesn't want her anywhere near his family but elain asserts herself and says she's coming whether he likes it or not. he, of course, doesn't object. he just pleads with her to stay close to him the entire time. during their visit(s) they meet with eris and lucien's mother and you don't understand how badly i want elain and his mother to have a good relationship. her own mother only saw her as beautiful and something to capture a titled man to advance their status, she didn't truly see elain either. lady vanserra would be the kind and caring mother she never had and then being close would allow elain to learn more about lucien without asking him directly.

and her and eris? he'd take on the protective older brother role for elain, he would make sure no one even breathed near her unless she wished it so. maybe he'd introduce her to his dogs or something, too.

i can't get into specifics of what would really happen during these visits bc my brain sucks but overall it'd allow elain to learn more of lucien's upbringing and begin to understand him and in turn lucien would learn more about elain's childhood when she'd discuss her mother with lady vanserra.

maybe after this they visit the day court or something so they can view helion's massive library and try to learn more of koschei and elain's powers. they'd bond while studying, it'd start as courteous conversation but it'd soon develop into more intimate questions. maybe she asks about jesminda, who she'd learned some about from feyre and some from the servants in the autumn court, he'd answer her questions but never offer anything more than what he had to. she can tell her death still weighs heavily on him. this is when she really starts paying attention to what exactly she feels through the mate bond, tremendous guilt and, as feyre once described, he's endlessly sad.

this is where things get kinda fuzzy for me bc i never knew how this story would end, like i knew the koschei conflict would be the finale but other than that? nothing lmao but basically i could see elain and lucien growing together very slowly. they start getting comfortable with the faint touches and lingering glances they give each other. it eventually leads to a dark night in the camp and elain can't sleep so she gets up to take a walk but her feet just lead her to wherever lucien is and she sees him without his shirt on, his back is turned to her and she sees the massive scars across his back and can't stop the soft gasp that escapes.

lucien whirls around but elain can't get the image out of her head... who would have been so cruel as to cause those marks? who would dare to touch her mate like that? she knows she should be more worried about how possessive the mate bond makes her, but in this moment it doesn't matter, what matters is who hurt him. and she asks as much, "it's nothing, elain" is his response but she doesn't let up, she steps closer to him and motions for him to turn around, which he does. she hesitantly runs her fingers across his scars, she can feel her rage building, no matter how irrational it is she wants whoever did this dead. she blinks at that thought, but she's not scared no, she wants whoever caused him pain to suffer.

he tells her not to worry and that it's already been taken care of and she reluctantly leaves him to go back to her own tent (or wherever they're sleeping) and tries to sleep but everytime she closes her eyes the image of his scars, how he might have received them, flashes in her mind. then she starts to wonder who gave him the scar on his face, she wonders how she might find out and how she might get the means to return the favor.

also maybe at some point later in the story, they visit the autumn court again, i have a headcanon that elain doesn't only see the future, she can see the past in some cases so maybe she starts seeing this couple in a.... very intimate setting. and she works out the female is lucien's mother, but the male she's with is definitely not beron. this could prompt the helion reveal but honestly idk how that'd all go down.

i really can't tell you how this would all wrap up bc i am so bad at plotting but eventually they meet koschei, they defeat him and there's a scene where they embrace and the confessions come, it starts with lucien,

"i love you. so much. and i choose you. i'd choose you in a hundred–in a thousand different lifetimes."

"do you mean that?"

"i've never meant anything more."

elain brings her hands to his face, caressing his cheeks, then she moves to trace the scar on his face.

she finally says, "i choose you, too, lucien. i love you. now, kiss me... please."

they have the kiss we've all waited 5 books for. she accepts the bond and we all live happily ever after.

#IM BAD AT THIS OK #but i want an elucien book so badly 😭#acotar #elain archeron #lucien vanserra #elucien #asks #acotars #long post

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araviera · 3 years

Text

Mermaid AU

"My parents are coming tomorrow and how am I going to explain to my mom that there's a merman in my bathroom?"

"You can hadle it. I know this, Wisegirl."

Annabeth helped Percy get to the bottom of the beach to free him. After he managed to fend for himself, the merman looked at her and said something that Annabeth could not hear thanks to the earplugs she wore. Considering the time they spent together in the bathroom and the endless conversations, she took off the earplugs, trusting him, and smiled.

"It was a pleasure to meet you, Your Majesty," she joked.

Percy smiled back, and Annabeth soon regretted taking off the protector. She saw, through his eyes, lines of evil that told mermaids stories. He started to sing.

Annabeth struggled, fought, but failed to overcome the spell. Percy sang and called her deeper, further out to sea. He said that everything would be fine, that it wouldn't hurt, and she knew it was a lie. Annabeth's body obeyed without reluctance. Her mind watched everything without doing anything. Annabeth, the real one, panicked. It was sinking deeper and deeper. She felt algae and corals at her feet. The rising tide was pulling it harder and harder. She was no longer able to touch the floor when she took Percy's hand.

Annabeth cursed him with every possible name in her mind. She had been careful at all times, she hadn't trusted him right away, and yet she had failed. She had been foolish to think that even though she knew a little about him, he would not betray her.

Soon, the ground disappeared. Her body was no longer able to stay above water. Percy pulled her down from time to time.

Annabeth submerged.

The pressure and suffocation of the water brought her down. She closed her eyes tightly, trying to avoid the salt water. Automatically, she held her breath, before the merman speak with her.

"Open your eyes, Chase. Look at me."

His melodious, sweet voice made her obey him. Annabeth exhaled and looked at him. Percy was beautiful, there was no way to disagree. His skin shone under the moonlight under the water. Her hair floated like black algae. The blue interior of his eyes, which in humans are red, shone brightly.

Annabeth was beginning to despair. "He's going to kill me. I'm going to die. I'm sorry, mom. I'm sorry, dad. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

Percy came over, ready to bite her, but she saw him hesitate. He looked at her, and before she lost consciousness, he looked away.

He would never be able to say what exactly went through his head to give up the idea of killing her. Of course, in addition to liking her, since they had spent a few days together and she had been a true friend (something he never had), Percy had the impression that there was something wrong.

But it was already too late.

Annabeth was dying, he knew. He had done this many times before. Her face was losing color, water was entering her lungs freely. There was not much to do for her. For a human.

Percy couldn't kill her, couldn't let her die after the last few days - he decided. He leaned over and pulled the blonde's head hard towards him and kissed her.

He had never done that before, but his studies at the Palace provided knowledge like that - which, honestly, Percy thought that all hybrids should know.

The girl's limp body shone brightly and stretched. Percy felt her skin turn into scales, sprout fins and thin her waist. He felt the girl's clothes disappear in his embrace, with nothing he could do.

When the metamorphosis passed, Annabeth was breathing weakly.

Percy lost his breath when he saw her.

"Gray?" He thought aloud.

Lines of magic, created by the brightness of the moon, descend from the eyes to the body. Her tail was encrusted with shiny stones.

Percy hoped she would turn into a random mermaid, but gray... Gray was an extremely rare color, and that was worrisome.

Annabeth could sum up that week as a nightmare. The last thing she remembered was being under the spell of Percy's Singing. She was drowning and, then, darkness. Only darkness. Annabeth woke up with a tingle throughout her body. She looked everywhere, but didn't recognize where she was.

Then, she saw Percy.

Percy was standing on the end of the bed, watching her. He wore a robe that covered part of his body, as well as an alternative crown on his head.

At first she thought she was dreaming. Then, started to scream.

"Annabeth! Annabeth! Calm down!" he tried.

"Calm me down?! Get away from me! Monster! Treacherous! Traitor! I trusted you!" she screamed, but her voice was affected, and only then she realized that she was under water, that she was breathing, and that she was undressed.

She screamed even more.

"What did you do ?! Percy! What did you do?" Annabeth felt her throat tighten when she looked down.

Her legs weren't there. A tail stirred back and forth unconsciously.

"Annabeth, listen" he tried again. "I'm sorry-"

"NO, DON'T FEEL" she fumbled for the nightstand looking for something she could use for defense.

"-but I needed to do this. You were going to die" Percy approached.

"No!" she hid her fork behind her and asked for distance between them. "Don't talk to me! If you hadn't betrayed me, I wouldn't nearly have died!"

His shoulders withered.

"Wisegirl, I ..."

Then Annabeth decided that hitting the prince of the kingdom would be a good deal.

After that - Percy almost dying with a hit in his heart, the royal family locking her in her room, discovering she would never see her family again, crying, breaking furniture and other tantrums - Annabeth felt more alone than before. Percy, whenever he could, went to visit her, but she never let him in or talked about it. She was devastated.

Her mother must have been in tears thinking that her daughter had died.

She would never be able to see her family again...

Later, Percy appeared at her door and threatened her.

"Annabeth, I don't want to have to do this, but today there is dinner at the Herbal Garden and you will be my mate," he said. "A maid will leave your clothes here, and I will come and get you. If you aren't, you will be thrown to the sharks."

And left her alone, terrified at the thought of being killed.

Annabeth didn't trust him or his family, but she had to trust her enough not to fall.

And that was what she was doing at that party.

"You see? I can swim on my back"

"Pff, look behind you, Percy"

And, thats it. Mermay finally ends :"(. It was so cool do a Percabeth au underwater. But maybe i should explain some points:

1- Percy is immortal bc he is Poseidon' son (duh) and he is the prince and heir of Throne (Sally is a mermaid too).

2- Percy has few friends, and, usually, Poseidon doesnt give him permission to hang out with them. There is all the pression at him, so Percy never can be himself.

3- Zeus was a merman from an important royal family, and Athena too (cause she is his daughter, duh/2), but they decided living on mortal realm and left all behind. Athena never told this to Annabeth, but she alwals said to her to stay away from sea.

4- Poseidon, Sally and Percy, first, didnt know who was she, but they "addopted" her because she was from an important family.

5- Annabeth finally talked with her mother. Athena said how worried she was, how happy she was to Ann was alive and how sad she was about Annabeth transfomation.

6- After this, Annabeth and Percy became friends. They hang out together and Poseidon let them hang out with Percy's friends.

7- Annabeth met Rachel and Grover, and she loved them.

8- Annabeth became known as Prince's Wife and as Princess before they know they like each other. The gray tail became famous in the "City that never sleeps"

#percabeth #annabeth fanart #annabeth chase #percy fanart #percy jackson #percy and annabeth #mermay 2021 #mermay #mermaid #pjo headcanon

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