#recovery from abuse

[furiousgoldfish]

Write down some of your trauma symptoms that have gotten better, lessened, or you found ways to deal wit them so they're no longer debilitating for your life!

For me it's:

catastrophizing (learned to stop myself in 80% cases)

chronic pain (lessened, less flare-ups, still present but no longer debilitating to the point where I can't make plans at all)

anxiety (got compartmentalized with changing the host)

toxic shame (I rarely feel ashamed for what was done to me anymore)

self-doubt regarding the past (I can blame the perpetrators easily)

low self confidence (experience of getting things done has taught me of what I'm capable of)

negative thinking (I can catch myself and reverse it before spiraling)

panic attacks and seizure-like episodes (rarely have them, new host learned to stop them completely)

None of it is like it would be in a healthy person who has never been thru abuse, but compared to how bad it was, it's a huge relief to be in a better place regarding these issues, and opens the door to having a less uncertain and scary future. Write down your own, and what helped you make the progress!

#trauma recovery #healing from abuse #healing #recovery from abuse #trauma symptoms #abuse symptoms #getting better after trauma #natural healing #i didn't wanna derail this but the issues i still have the same amount of #are the abandonment issues and socializing #making connections or being a part of something #i just can't do it #anything people related is still absolutely horrible for me #memories are horrible and osdd symptoms are barely manageable #but i can still be happy about the stuff that did get better #so i don't feel like i'm not moving anywhere at all

[saviorofdandysuits]

Problems

Photos by Eduardo Soares, Marissa Lewis, and Ryan Arnst via Unsplash

Nina's had a rough day. Maggie reminds her she's not alone.

Rated T - WC: 1935 - CW: mild swearing - [ AO3 ] - Featured album - Nina Simone

Stifling a yawn, Nina pretended not to listen to the granny berating the shop clerk three people ahead of her in the grocer’s queue. Apparently it was double coupon-spin on your head day and the poor dear checking had missed one. Three minutes into her tirade, the old dear had figured out the missing coupon was still in her own hand.

Once that was resolved, the line progressed quickly and, less than five minutes later, Nina found herself face-to-face with Annette, Lindsay’s old friend from uni. Well, she’d started as just Lindsay’s friend but the two of them had grown close and Nina had long considered Annette her friend, too.

Between the battling demons—real and in her mind—and it taking everything she had to get up and on her feet again, she hadn’t spoken with Annette since before her and Lindsay had finally split. It had now been a few weeks and reaching out to old friends hadn’t gotten any easier. Not that anyone from her old life had reached out to contact her, either .

“Alright there, Annie?” Nina nodded, hoping her smile didn’t betray the twinge in her belly. 

Annette’s returning smile was polite. And icy.

“Find everything?” she asked, eyes down as she continued to scan the milk and sugar on the conveyor belt.

Nina nodded, smile pressed on her face until it hurt. “Definitely, thanks,” she managed and set the rest of her attention to pressing buttons on the card terminal. Eventually, though, the conveyor belt was faster and Annette leaned back, tapping the till as she waited for Nina to finish paying. “Sorry,” Nina muttered, trying for another smile.

Annette shrugged.

“You know I’ve been meaning to ring you up,” Nina glanced up, waiting for the card terminal to tell her she could remove her card. “It’d be good to… catch up? Maybe after work tonight?”

“Not necessary,” Annette frowned. “Lindsay caught me up just fine.”

“Ah. I see.” Nina didn’t quite know what to do with her hands so she started bagging the milks. “I understand.” She didn’t, but… Bags full, perhaps even a little overfull with the extra oatmilk she’d picked up, she hooked one strap on each shoulder and fled from the checkstand.

“Nina, wait!” Annette called after her and she turned, face warming. Nina grinned and met her old friend’s eyes.

But Annette was still frowning. “Your card,” she said after a long moment and looked pointedly at the little beeping terminal.

“Right. Thanks.” Nina switched both bags to one shoulder, snagged her card and dashed out the doors.

And right into Maggie.

Too late, Nina tried to sidestep and avoid the colision. She ended upl clipping the shorter woman’s shoulder and the extra momentum from the heavy bags sent Nina into a spin. “Slow down there, luv,” Maggie laughed, grabbing her arm and halting her unplanned pirouette. “Where’s the fire?”

“Oh, thanks,” she muttered and watched the grin melt from Maggie’s face. “Just heading back to the shop with the—” Nina raised her bags and looked away, feet turned to the street.

“Well—well, here, let me help you!” Maggie followed, hands open and ready to take a bag.

“I’m fine,” Nina shook her head and darted across the street. “Catch you later,” she added, trying to ignore the flash of hurt on Maggie’s face. She just… couldn’t right now.

“Later!” Maggie called back from the pavement on the other side, one hand raised for a tad longer than it should have. Nina gave her own half wave and ducked inside her shop.

~

The afternoon rush just kept coming and the morning’s awkwardness had safely tucked itself away into a dusty compartment in Nina’s mind when her next customer took just a tick too long to order. Hand hovering over the hot and cold cups, her eyes darted up and right into familiar dark eyes made darker with ill-hidden rage.

“What the hell are you doing talking to Annie?” Lindsay demanded in a low hiss. Both palms pressed against the counter, she was positioned as though she needed to get a closer look at the flavor syrups along the wall behind the till.

Nina knew better.

“If you’d like a coffee,” she said, voice just low enough not to carry much further than the next customer waiting in line, “I’m happy to take your order. If you—”

“Did you think she wouldn’t tell me you were there?” Lindsay interrupted. “Annie is my friend and you upset her. What did you say to her?”

“Lind, I am working,” Nina pressed a smile onto her face but it felt like a death grimace. Likely looked even worse. Nosy parker Mrs. Sandwich was next in line and even she inched backward, suddenly engrossed in her phone. Yep, her fake smile definitely looked worse than it felt. “Please, Lind, if you actually have something to discuss we can—”

“You always do this! I come to you with a problem and you just dismiss—”

Nina stepped back, putting distance between them, but stood a little taller. The line behind Lindsay shifted and a familiar glint of blonde curls moved closer. “It’s time for you to leave, Lind.”

“You don’t get to tell me what to do!” Lindsay was no longer whispering. “What did you say to her?”

“Lindsay, Annie is my—”

“Annie is nothing to you!”

“Oh, hello! Excuse me, pidgeon,” Maggie wedged herself between Lindsay and the counter. “If you’re not going to order, do you mind if sneak in for a skinny latte? My shop’s unattended and I really need a top up.”

“This isn’t over,” Lindsay snapped, ignoring Maggie. She gave Nina one last stare before sidling out of line and out the shop.

Maggie was still watching Lindsay leave when Nina turned to make her coffee. She hoped the heat and noise of the frother might blast away the pounding in her chest but by the time she’d finished Maggie’s coffee, her hands still shook—from rage or fear. Or likely both.

She couldn’t meet Maggie’s eyes. “I don’t need you to save me,” Nina muttered, snapping the lid into place and sliding the cup across the counter.

“I know that,” Maggie said, just as quietly. “I… I’m sorry, Nina. I overstepped.” She took the proffered cup and tapped her card to the till’s scanner. “Thanks for the coffee,” she said with a brightness that didn’t match her eyes. “And thanks, hun,” she turned and said to Mrs. Sandwich. “Appreciate you letting me skip.”

“Anytime, Maggie,” Mrs. Sandwich nodded and stepped forward. “Nina, you got any of those scones you had last week?

Maggie had slipped away by the next time Nina looked up.

~

Last customer of the night sorted, Nina’s feet dragged as she finally flipped open the ‘open’ sign and locked the door. She couldn’t help a glance across the street. The warm, cheery lights of Maggie’s shop were already dark. Perhaps she’d been a bit harsher than she needed to be, the truth that she’d very much wanted her assistance did little to ease her anger at the entire mess of a situation. 

“Our love lives look simple from the outside, indeed,” Nina muttered, her earlier words to Crowley mocking her. She turned and sighed, and let the doorframe hold her up for a while.  It had been a long day and the cot in the back was hardly meant to provide for a restful night. Certainly not for weeks at a time. 

After a long moment, she straightened. It was only then she noticed a person’s shadow spilling over the floor. “Lind, not now—” she began, whipping around.

Instead of Lindsay, though, stood Maggie, one of those damned records tucked under one arm, a small beige and blue leather case gripped in her hand. She waved and half-smiled, bottom lip caught between her teeth. “Sorry!” she called through the glass. “Didn’t mean to startle you there, luv.”

“Y—you didn’t,” Nina lied and unlocked the door. It was better than shouting through it. “Erm, come in, I suppose,” she murmured, mouth getting ahead of herself.

The eyes that watched Nina unlock and open the door were soft but large and observant . Maggie tilted her head. “Rough day?” 

“What do you need, Maggie? I’m closing up.”

“I can see that,” Maggie smiled and held up the small suitcase-looking thing. “That’s why I brought this. Perhaps a little music might make the tedium of counting out a… a bit nicer?” she ended her ramble with a wince.

Arms crossed over her chest Nina spotted the album Maggie had tried to give her a few weeks ago. Shoulders slumping, she nodded. “Fine. Music, then.”

“Grand,” Maggie smiled and slipped inside the shop. “I think you’ll really like this album and not just because she’s got your name,” she flashed a brilliant grin over her shoulder as she set down the case and opened it, revealing a travel turntable. “I can set this up and then leave or…”

Nina sighed. “Just stay. I’m putting you to work, though,” she said, sterner than she’d intended. Maggie still snapped to attention with a mock salute. It was hard not to laugh. “You can plug it in over there,” she said, pointing to the nearest outlet under the window. “Then start wiping down the tables. Please,” she added.

Maggie gave her a quick nod and, after a moment, the shop was filled with the warm crackle of the record player.

Baby, you understand me now If sometimes you see that I’m mad…

“Subtle,” Nina chuckled and Maggie gave her a little shrug.

“It’s the same album I brought over before, I swear.”

Nina bumped her shoulder as they passed each other. “Yeah, I know. I recognize it.”

They worked through half the album and, together, they finished closing up far sooner than Nina expected.

“Till’s counted, and everything looks clean out here,” she said. “Well, I…” her eyes darted to the back room. “I should be getting to—”

“Oh…” A kicked puppy might look less disappointed. “I… I live just down near Trinity. How about you? We could walk together—”

“Listen, Maggie, I—I sleep in the shop.” Nina interrupted. “I need to lock up and get some sleep. It’s late and people will be lined up at the door.”

“What?” Maggie’s jaw dropped. “But…” A confused frown pulled down her entire face. “You’ve got the grocer’s loading dock behind you. You don’t have space for an apartment back there.”

“I didn’t say there was apartment!” Nina snapped, Lindsay’s voice echoing in her head. She squeezed her eyes shut, both hands up in surrender. “Please, I’m sorry. It’s late and I need to sleep, I just—”

“You don’t have to struggle alone.” Maggie stepped closer and took her hand. “I can help you. I can—”

Nina shook her head. “Just leave it! My problems are none of your business.”

“Well… that’s true,” Maggie nodded and she stopped moving closer. But she didn’t let go of Nina’s hand. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t offer my help.”

“Actually it does, it—” NIna stared down at the soft fingers wrapped around hers. “It—”

“All I’m saying is, love…” She gave Nina’s fingers a little squeeze and smiled. “You’re not alone.”

“Well, what if I want to be alone?” Nina said before she could stop herself.

Maggie smiled back with the eyes that had stared down a demon. “Do you want to be?”

Nina fell quiet and music filled the space between them.

Who soothes my achin’, thumpin’ brain? Nobody

“No,” she whispered.

Maggie’s smile grew. “Then you won’t be.”

#good omens #nina #maggie #good omens fanfic #good omens fanfiction #recovery from abuse #(hinted at‚ it's softer than it sounds)

[unwelcome-ozian]

#healing and the body #the body #recovery from trauma #recovery from abuse #healing from trauma #feeling alive

[exjwfamily]

Please help me to recover from an organization that has taken away our resources and family

My name is Victoria and I am an ex member of an organization that I was born into. This organization does NOT believe in outside resources like government aid and assistance, mental health, healthcare and even some forms of the law. It is an antigovernment organization and religion. They highly recommend that all members use their resources for housing, communications, jobs, education, networking and more. This was the case for me and my mother who left this religion. When we left this organization, they stripped us of our own family members and demonized them against us. We lost all our resources because we only turned to the religion for them, we lost all aid and I lost my siblings to the organization. My mother lost 3 of her kids to this organization. We, in turn, were left with the outside world to figure out and manage, which has not been easy at all. I understand it is definitely not easy for any of us, religion or not. But this organization puts god before education and things of this world like most government assistance. Because of this I was raised a child who was neglected from outside influences. I became a early second mother for my youngest siblings because of mental and physical abuse in the household and I sacrificed my own education and time for it as my mother was also struggling to be home as she was the only one who worked multiple jobs in the household. I do not have a high school diploma, my stepdad (who is in that organization) did not believe in my education and my mother at the time was going through mental crisis after another to even bother with my education growing up. I have no car, no healthcare, no place, I stay with my mother but she is losing feeling in her hands and legs by the day and will soon stop working. I want to be able to help her. Me and my mom are diagnosed with severe depression, but what is worse with me is because I was conditioned to only serve this organization and it’s god, I have developed medical conditions like severe depression and anxiety that physically make it difficult for me to keep a job that involves much outside human communication. It has been extremely hard for us to make money and simply survive and this has been an ongoing patter for years. I didn’t know leaving this organization would have such detrimental affects on us, but I believe they created it this way so it is hard for anyone to leave. I lost my siblings to them for this reason as well, all their resources, learning, friends and family are bigger in numbers within that community and they are also under a certain amount of brainwashing I believe.

My plan is to raise money for my online businesses and my mothers so when can at least keep our heads above water in this world’s system we are struggling to adapt to. I have a solid plan but any contributions would help immensely! If you could please repost this it would help a lot as well. Thank you so much in advance, if you have any questions (no hurtful speech please) I welcome them ❤️

#gofundme #donations #mutual funds #medical help #funds needed #fundrasier #emergency funds #go fund me #please help #recovery from abuse #signal boost #please spread #please reblog #please share #ex jw

[howwelldoyouknowyourmoon]

Post-Cult Problems: An Exit Counselor's Perspective

Carol Giambalvo

Classification of Ex-Members

...

Tools for Recovery

...

Common Issues in Post-Cult Recovery

...

#ICSA #Carol Giambalvo #recovery from abuse #cults

[dailydiarynquotes]

#breakup recovery #breakup #heartbreak #sad love #soul ties #healthybreakup #moving on #daily diary #diary #heartache #narcissistic abuse #narcissistic trauma #narcissism #raised by narcissists #narcissisticgaslighting #Gaslighting #gaslight #healing #mental health #healing from trauma #self healing #healingjourney #if he wanted to he would

[performing-personhood]

I learned a kind of funny thing and I need to tell you bc it's important, cmere. Lean in so the others can't hear okay?

Ok so like

I know that the reason we are the way we are is because at some point we took up some space - as people do - and someone turned to us and went "whoa, excuse you! What do you think you're doing" or something, right? And they were, like, surprised and offended that we took up space and told us to stay real small and subservient? And we were pretty young, you and me, and we didn't really grok Peopling yet and so we assumed that everyone else was going to have that expectation too?

Okay I just learned: that isn't true at all, that person was just an asshole.

Babe. BABE. This is big.

Ok do you realize ??? that most people when they're around someone - anyone, this is important, it's an unconscious reflex and happens rather automatically - and that person is like "I have an opinion and desires and also some needs and I am going to express them openly" Did you realize, because I didn't, that most people completely intuitively go "oh! There's another person here! Lemme just scootch over so they fit better :)" PEOPLE MAKE ROOM FOR YOU.

People don't ignore us, when we're silently having wants and needs and waiting our turn to be noticed, they just have similar very loud brains and have no idea because beung corporeal is Distracting™️. Not only do people just need a reminder that you're there, they're totally happy to accomodate. In a distinctly "ope! My bad, lemme just- here-" sort of way.

My spouse has a loud brain and drowns it out with Mario Kart. I've spent most of my life quietly entertaining myself in all of these instances, because at some point someone told me I was supposed to "go play" and nobody wanted to play with me so I entertained myself right? Okay. Well I recently had a sea change and decided I was gonna pop my headphones in and watch TV on my tablet when he was doing his Mario Karting. Because the boy will easily go for four hours and I just spontaneously realized that it would actually be ridiculous if he got butthurt at me for putting some quiet tv on for myself instead of watching a grown man play the same video game for hours.

You know what happened? Not only did nobody's feelings get hurt, but I have never made it more than twenty minutes into a show before he ends a match and switches the console off. And I have never asked him to do so. When I'm over there doing my own thing with my own TV show like a person instead of just scrolling on my phone trying real hard not to exist, somewhere in his unconscious he goes "there's a whole other human being on the other end of the sofa from me. I want to turn this off and engage with that person!"

Okay do you understand what I am telling you??

When you behave like a human person and treat yourself like a human person, other people also instinctively treat you like a human person and they're happy to be reminded that they get to engage with you. The person in our past that reacted differently and got mad at us for being a person, plainly and simply: they were just being an asshole to us.

The people we love want to engage with us. Almost all of them!!! And not only that?? Most other human beings feel the same way.

Huge. Big huge.

Don't take my word for it baby cakes okay, take a sec and muster up the courage (it'll be scary the first time, but the thinking about it is always scarier than doing it I swear) and then get back out there and practice being your very own human person occupying human people space, around someone who loves you, and just... watch what happens. The first time someone warmly, graciously, voluntarily accommodates you is the greatest feeling a corporeal being can experience, and you deserve it too.

#recovering people pleaser #recovering from abuse #recovering from trauma #recovering codependent #recovering from cptsd #cptsd recovery #actually cptsd #just neurodivergent things #actually neurodivergent #mental illness #things I learned in therapy #therapy works

[epilogueart]

just finished God of War: Ragnarok so I’m here to do my bits

#me: finishes a beautiful and well put together game that touches on themes of growth loss abuse recovery grief parenthood growing up #also me: alright time to draw these characters in scenes from its always sunny #god of war #god of war ragnorak #gow #kratos #god of war mimir #my art #gow art #mimir #brok #brok god of war

[furiousgoldfish]

which one of these did you believe was normal throughout your childhood:

Parents telling you that you're a financial burden to them

Parents insisting you need to work if you want to live in their house

Parents threatening to kick you out if you don't do as they say

Parents threatening death to you

Parents convincing you that you would die without them

Parents expecting you to know information you've never been taught or shown

Parents convincing you that you're unlovable

Parents telling you that any harm done to you is deserved

Parents not caring if you're sick/injured and shaming you for it

Parents expecting you to not have needs

Parents telling you that you're 'crazy' when you remember something traumatic they did to you

Parents acting like you're not a part of the family whenever is convenient

Being told to keep silent to 'keep the family together'

'What happens in my house stay in my house'

Parents inflicting physical abuse, marks and injuries on you

Parents having the right to do whatever they please to their kid

Parents insisting they must be automatically forgiven for everything

Parents telling you that you're the abusive one if you disobey

Parents throwing rage tantrums and screaming hateful atrocities at you in the 'heat of the moment' then later pretending thats normal and forgivable

Parents being allowed to act immature while children are not

Parents simply 'not noticing' when you have emotional/mental issues

Being suicidal and nobody caring or paying attention to it

Struggling with eating disorders/mental illnesses/disability and only being shamed and blamed for it

Parents insisting that their right to hurt you is above law and reason and that you are the only one who can be punished

Idea that 'everyone has it this hard' and 'you're the only one who is being this badly affected by otherwise normal treatment of children

Being told that it would only be worse for you somewhere else and you're lucky that you're only having 'only that amount of abuse'

Parents comparing their parenting to worse examples and wanting gratitude that they're 'not as bad'

Parents telling you that you'll never amount to anything and undermining everything you've done in life continually

Parents acting like your experience and perspective don't matter, or insisting you don't have the right to one in the first place.

(none of these are normal. this is brainwashing)

#child abuse #abusive parents #toxic parents #traumatic childhood #trauma recovery #healing from abuse #abused child #traumatized child #cptsd #ptsd

[redflagbreakfast]

Introduction:

Buckle up, because this ride is going to be a doozy, and I already know it, and the story has just begun. I am constantly drawn to successful, handsome men who fall head over heels for me and do all the things I could dream of to win my affection in return. Sounds like a dream, right?

But hold on to your panties, ladies, because these guys aren’t your typical prince charmings. Nope, they’re narcissists. And guess what? Now I’m going dates with them on purpose! I don’t seek them out, they find me, and rather than immediately, turning down, I simply stick around long enough to journal about the red flags.

Now, some of you may be thinking, “Why the hell would someone willingly subject themselves to dating a narcissist?” Well, friends, let me tell you – it’s all for the sake of education, entertainment and training purposes only.

You see, I, like many women out there, have been taken advantage of by narcissistic men in the past. But instead of wallowing in self-pity and bitterness, I’ve decided to take matters into my own hands. I’m dating these men as a social experiment to learn their ways, document the red flags as they happen, and ultimately teach women how to be in control. I mean…what could possibly go wrong?

I will be writing this journal in real time, and sharing past stories of my spectacular dating failures along the way. So obviously, I don’t even know how this ends. Maybe it’s a journal of my ultimate demise, maybe I fall prey to one of these men, or even worse, fall in love because I am not as tuned in as I think I am. But, I doubt it, Fuck, I eat red flags for breakfast.

And let me tell you, the red flags are already flying high…and it has only been a few short weeks. Love bombing, jealousy, and a sense of entitlement – these guys have it all. But I’m not one to back down from a challenge. As an entrepreneur who owns multiple companies in male dominated markets, I know a thing or two about taking charge.

So join me on this potentially haphazardness roller coaster. Let’s take a page out of these narcissist’s play books and learn how to be in control, no matter the situation. Who knows, you may even pick up a few dating tips along the way (but let’s be real, probably not from them).

#red flags #dating #covert narcissism #gaslighting #entrepreneurship #abuse survivor #abuse recovery #narcissticabuseawareness #domestic violent relationships #healing from trauma #ptsd flashbacks

[moonlit-positivity]

Overheard in therapy: you do NOT have to be happy all the time. You are absolutely allowed to wake up and say, "damn, this actually sucks and today Im gonna be mad about it." We do not have to keep manifesting a mindset of toxic positivity without acknowledging the hardships and all the ways that life has drained our soul. Yes, absolutely, be mad about it. It will help!

#recovery #ptsd #trauma #boundaries #mental health #healing #healing thoughts #toxic positivity #therapy #trauma therapy #advice #life advice #trauma recovery #recovering from abuse #self love #self care #self esteem #emotional regulation #relationships #communication #toxic parenting #toxic relationships #reparenting #positivity

[thefluoritebpd]

The biggest BPD shock (also ASPD & psychosis) I've experienced was probably when I walked away from a 1,5-year-long friendship in which I constantly had fights, arguments, triggers and splits going off, threats thrown around, and at the time I walked away, I had another friendship formed with a different system. And suddenly, I was barely splitting, like once a month, maybe? When I did, I was met with affection and love, I was way more stable, could communicate better, didn't question every single second whether these people loved me or not, psychosis wasn't going off nearly as much as it used to, and my anger issues seemed to just disappear, leaving me questioning whether I had them in the first place.

And eventually, I found out that people with BPD are a mirror of their loved ones, and was like: "Wait, hold up- I WAS NOT THE PROBLEM THE ENTIRE TIME?!?!?!"

@the-soup-system

-host

#directed at our partner system #bpd #borderline personality disorder #bpd mood #bpd problems #bpd thoughts #borderline pd #bpd blog #borderline blog #borderline thoughts #bpd emotions #borderline problems #healing from abuse #healing from trauma #healing #trauma recovery #abuse recovery #emotional abuse #verbal abuse #gaslighting #bpd recovery #recovery #partner system #healthy relationships

[mudstoneabyss]

actually. the specific phrasing that boy Kevin wants to kill older Kevin with "I must disassemble him, piece by piece, so that everything inside of the Old Kevin comes out. Only then can the New Kevin truly begin." is so incredibly the idea that to heal from trauma and "improve" you have to destroy every "wrong" part of yourself, that everything "tainted" by it has to somehow be replaced by something untouched (which isn't possible)

#reading back that phrasing I do think that'll be the way brinknor takes it #this arcs seeming like it'll be so. breaking the cycle of abuse and violence and coming to terms with yourself #and maybe understanding that you can never remove the parts of you impacted by trauma and start again completely ''pure'' #but you can treat yourself with the kindness you should've been given #which i hope it is that because. and understand i am biased. but i'd love that direction for Kevin #it feels much more satisfying than any more. angsty way this arc could go imo #like he's been through enough! #because of the way Kevin is portrayed in fanon. not as frequently anymore but still pretty common. I worry about coming off as woobifying #by saying I want him to heal I want him to have nice things I think he deserves them #when he's also simultaneously Not A Good Person #yknow the poor little innocent cinnamon roll baby etc etc fanon #but. well for one im Not Like That about him. but my main point of bringing that up is. him not being a good person is why I want to see hi #get better and generally have a good life. why does someone have to be good to deserve to heal from trauma #especially when trauma is a big reason for the way they are #like its fiction yeah yeah i'm still tired of mentally ill people having to be ''good'' to ''deserve'' to get better yknow #i mean especially in fiction you tend to either see mental illness as the poor traumatized one who's allowed recovery because they're nice #or the insane psychopath who cant be ''fixed'' so ''deserves'' bad things-up to deserving to die!- for it #i didnt mean for this to be a rant erm. oops #wtnv #wtnv spoilers #joyousposting

[struggling-to-find-home]

Listen.

Look me in the metaphorical eyes and listen.

You do not need to forgive your abuser to heal.

Ypu do not need to confront your abuser to heal.

You do not need to let go of your emotions to heal.

Hell, you do not even need to have access to the direct memories of trauma in order to heal.

Healing is about YOU. It's about your feelings, your actions, your life. All of the consequences of abuse are woven into your life already; it doesn't matter what the abuser says or does, because healing from abuse is not about getting some sort of new and improved all-knowing attitude and a healthy relashionship with whoever hurt you. It's about taking those patterns which currently hurt you in their place and letting them go.

And if anyone tells you otherwise, fuck em.

#this is coming from someone who will never forgive my abusers or even have any sort of fully positive feelings towards them #i did not need to do any of the forgiveness shit in order to make my life healthier & happier #because it's not about‚ for example‚ letting your parents take your food because now you've 'changed perspectives' #it's about learning that whether or not you can share food is purely your decision and anyone opposing that is a dick #anywayssssssss #toxic family #dysfunctional family #toxic household #toxic parents #dysfunctional parents #trauma recovery

[howwelldoyouknowyourmoon]

Marlene Winell - Leaving The Fold, Religious Trauma, and Emotional Recovery

Psychologist, educator, and Leaving The Fold author, Marlene Winell, talks with Lola & Meagan about how she came to study the negative impacts of religion, how some basic concepts of Christianity can be harmful, why authoritarian structures of religion can sometimes lead to trauma, how we can rationally understand something but emotionally reject it, the spectrum of meaning, and what that looks like after leaving a religion.

#Trust Me podcast #religious trauma #Marlene Winell #recovery from abuse

[dailydiarynquotes]

#breakup recovery #breakup #heartbreak #sad love #soul ties #moving on #daily diary #diary #heartache #narcissistic trauma #healing from trauma #trauma #narcissistic abuse #narcissism #gaslighting #gaslight #healingjourney #healing #self healing #sad qutoes #sad quote #quote #breakupquotes