#respect my privacy at this time for not tagging the several characters and people this applies to <3

[wuntrum]

not immune to a brunette who is extremely silly

#personal #respect my privacy at this time for not tagging the several characters and people this applies to <3 #but yknow. you can probably guess...

[lacefuneral]

hi reddit. here are some tips.

i will be putting these below a "readmore" - which is the first lesson. on desktop there is a button for this. on mobile you type :readmore: followed by a linebreak. it is considered common ettique to shorten your long posts in this way.

by the way, are you reblogging a long post that isn't under a readmore? tag that as #long post so users can blacklist it and not have to scroll for five years.

(weird gaps in bullet points due to character limits lmao)

Title. Icon. Banner. blog description. (look around if you need an idea for what to put in your blog description.) Blogs without this information (ESPECIALLY the no icon + no title combo) gets you blocked immediately. This is because tumblr has always had a severe bot problem. Just grab a meme from your camera roll or a picture of a character you like from google.

also, because most users have their pronouns in their bio, it is expected that you will look there to check before addressing them, out of courtesy. don't just default to "they" - only do that if a person's pronoun's are unclear or if the pronouns listed ARE "they."

Disable public likes. the like button is for personal bookmarking. very often, people will like posts they have not read yet, so that they can read them later. a person's likes is not always reflective of their stances, and if your likes are public, people may use them against you in an argument. think of your likes as your browser history. tumblr users value privacy in this instance.

unrelated to the above point: likes are also used to show compassion for a user going through a tough time, or to say "hey, i thought this joke you made was funny." this use of likes is more for friend-to-friend communication.

Disable anything in your settings that is algorithmic including seeing posts based on other people's likes (one, because algorithms exist to make you mad and two, as part of respecting privacy)

set "following" to appear before "for you" (and overall avoid "for you")

Snooze Tumblr Live (sorry. you have to do this once a week bc tumblr sucks.)

Open your askbox so people can communicate with you. Decide if you want to allow anonymous asks and/or public DMs.

Enable the desktop version of your blog. This makes it so that when you use a computer and go to [yourusername].tumblr.com you can have a website with HTML and CSS. tumblr has tried very hard to kill blog personalization but you can find many helpful users posting in the tags, as well as pre-made themes you can install. tumblr users are the ones making the bulk of neocities websites, and in general tend to be friendly in redirecting you to resources.

enabling your desktop blog also allows you to insert links and do very basic editing (like inserting line breaks) in your blog description (we call "bio") which translates to the mobile version of your theme. you have to do this in the editor for the desktop on a computer. also, editing your theme on mobile (like changing color, font) will undo your HTML. your best bet is to edit your mobile theme first and THEN do the HTML/link stuff on a computer. i know it sounds a bit convoluted but you'll figure it out. (this website is made of duct tape)

also while you are on desktop: download xkit rewritten. it won't work on mobile but it gives you a lot of helpful features. also consider installing ublock origin if you haven't already, because tumblr will sometimes add annoying widgets to their website and that tool will allow you to block them. i also use "palettes for tumblr" to customize my dashboard color. tumblr DOES have built-in dashboard themes but i do not like them personally.

pinned posts. you can pin any post you make or reblog. some people use this to pin a funny meme, and other people use the pinned post as an extended bio (or otherwise an alternative to it). a tumblr post made on desktop can hold up to 30 images (the limit is 10 on mobile.) you can also embed links, a video, and even audio. you can change text color, have bullet points, and increase font size. as such, you can express yourself much more in a pinned post than in your mobile blog description. a typical pinned post may include information about the user, a link to an external website (like a carrd, neocities, or linktree), and sometimes an image or two. tumblr allows you to disable reblogs for a post, so most pinned posts are set this way so it just stays on a user's blog.

DNIs (also called "BYF"). not everyone uses them, and they can be divisive. it stands for "Do Not Interact" - and is a boundary set to keep people away. this may include age (example: "minors DNI"), political opinions (example: "prolifers DNI"), and sometimes deeply niche online discourse. DNIs are also sometimes a joke (example: "DNI if you like tuna salad"). there is actually a meme where someone will write a post with a very long, unreasonable DNI and users will count how many apply to them.

If you would upvote a post on reddit, you would reblog it here. If you see something and you think it is cool, you think it is funny, or you think it is helpful, reblog it. Some users have sideblogs (you can have infinite sideblogs attached to your main account) to organize all of the posts they reblog. Others simply use a tagging system for organizational purposes (and so users can blacklist ("filter") those tags in their settings if they don't want to see the post). For example, if I followed a user for Star Trek, but they also posted a lot of Star Wars, I might add "#star wars" to my list of filters. This way, I am only seeing the Star Trek posts. Tumblr's default way of handling this is to display a box that says "this post contains #Star Wars" and you can choose whether or not to open it. on desktop with xkit rewritten, you can have it hide those boxes entirely. please use filters. your sanity will thank you.

In a reblog, Organizational Tags are for /you./ I see a lot of confusion about this from new users. If you reblog someone else's post and add 500 tags..... it's not going to get picked up in tumblr search. You're not going to get any sort of exposure. Because it is not your post. Those tags are only for /you/ - if you want to find the post again.

tags are also used for commentary. most tumblr users do /not/ talk in post replies or in the comments of a reblog. most of them talk in tags. tags have a character limit so these messages are broken up in fragments. tumblr uses a comma (,) to make a new tag, so users often use either no punctuation or a period (.) or a hyphen (-) to break up thoughts. two apostrophes ('') are used instead of quotation marks (because they dont work in tags). this is also where "tumblr writing style" comes from. we all began to write in lowercase and use punctuation in. a weird way. like. for emphasis. there is also the Tumblr Comma, a special unicode character that resembles a comma and works in tags when copy+pasted or put there with a keyboard shortcut. but this is often not used. here it is: ‚

also here's an example of tags. you will notice that commentary goes before organizational: #GOD DHSHSKDDJDL #i cannot BELIEVE i forgot about this. what the fuck #star trek #spock

when leaving tags, most users talk to themselves. but please remember that tags can be seen by anyone, including the original poster. in general, it is discouraged to traumadump or be rude.

"prev tags" (which tumblr staff is trying their damnest to erase sadly) is when a user reblogs a post from another user and tags it simply ''prev'' or ''prev tags" (meaning "i agree with the previous user's tags"). sometimes it's because a thoughtful observation was made, but usually it's a way of saying "hey! that was a funny joke!" without putting the user on blast by screenshotting the tags. it's most common between friends and mutuals (users following each other). i would say it is equivalent to users whispering to each other and giggling rather than getting up on a table and shouting. "prev tag chain" is when users reblog "prev tags" "prev prev tags" - and so on. however, sadly, tumblr has removed the feature of moving backwards in a reblog chain on desktop. i have not updated my app and refuse to, so i so not know if it is gone on mobile as well, but it probably is. EDIT: the browser extension Xkit Rewritten has an option now, in "tweaks" called "restore links to individual posts in post header." it should be the first option. prev tags, on desktop at least, is saved!

screenshotting someone elses tags and adding the image in a reblog is known as "passing peer review." it is, however, considered to be Greatly Annoying to accompany those tags with unnecessary commentary (ex: "these tags pass peer review!" "WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE THIS IN THE TAGS" "LMAAOO THIS IS SO FUNNYYY"). the tags can stand on their own. the only instance in which this is different is during a serious discussion, when you want to build off of another user's perspective. in which case, you address them as normal. some people credit taggers, some people don't. crediting tends to occur in discussions.

when making an original post, do not use irrelevant tags for Exposure. this is Greatly Hated by the userbase and is also against the TOS. you will get blocked at best, reported or yelled at at worst. only add relevant tags, and do not go overboard.

reposting other people's artwork is highly discouraged and is considered the Highest Offense. if you do any sort of reposting, you should credit and link to a creator directly. however, tumblr loves reposted videos, especially ones from tiktok. there are entire accounts dedicated to posting those.

sideblogs! it is possible to have multiple blogs under one email address. tumblr treats these blogs as proxies of your main blog. this means that sending someone an ask/commenting in the replies of a post will always appear with the name of your main blog, your likes will appear with the name of your main blog, and that if you follow someone you will appear on their followers list as your main blog (so you may be mutuals with someone and not even know it because their sideblog interacts with you, but isn't on your follower's list... because their main blog is listed there instead.) however, DMs DO appear as the sideblog name. you cannot swap your main blog with your sideblog. and right now, there is a bug where deleting a sideblog will delete your entire tumblr account so. don't do that lol. anyway, the amount of sideblogs you can make is literally infinite and i think there's just a Daily Limit of creating 10 of them or something. some users make a sideblog for each interest they have. others have no sideblogs and reblog everything to main. and then you have people like me that do both. somehow. some users will make sideblogs to hoard URLs. also sorry i'm just introducing this now, but that is what our usernames are called. because when tumblr was more desktop-oriented, every blog was literally a Personal Website. so ya. we call them "URLs." anyway, if someone wants to hang onto a URL for later, they might save it on an empty blog. this usually pisses people off. a "canon URL" is when someone has a URL that is like One Word or a Company Name or a Fictional character. hypothetical examples: "ketchup" "burgerking" "lukeskywalker." these are highly rare, coveted, and you look cool as hell if you have one.

tumblr's /\/SFW policy (/\/ is an N. i've censored it.) is best described as ???. posts that are safe for work get marked as /\/SFW and hardcore p0rn somehow persists. in general, be very wary of posting even artistic nvdity (even though it is supposedly permitted.) never deliberately mark your own posts as Mature. this is essentially like walking directly into a bear trap and waving a big sign at tumblr staff saying "hey! make it so people can't find my blog and i'm far more likely to get banned!" also do not tag posts with "/\/SFW." too many of those will get your entire blog marked as mature (which makes your posts pretty much invisible to other users.) tumblr users used /\/SFT (/\/ot safe for tumblr) for a long time, but staff caught on. there is now no consensus and people use their own personal tags for it. just pick something and people will catch on and blacklist it if need be. (btw you CAN type whatever you want on this website. i am only censoring in the hopes that this will allow my post to appear in the tags. this isn't tiktok lol)

while it is possible to disable reblogs on a post, this is a very RECENT addition and most users forget it exists. as such, please use common sense. if someone has written a post about, say, how sad they are feeling because they got in a fight with their family... that's not a good post to reblog. a like would be better here, like a pat on the back.

we LOVE polls. we love them. they are like sports to us. most of them are popularity polls - who is the better character? but people also use polls for, say, making bug emojis "race" each other. or "lets build a cake." other people use polls to write poetry, or learn about regional differences, or even to draw a pen!s. if you tag a poll as "poll" it will most likely be seen and voted in, because users look in the tag to find buttons to click.

there is unfortunately a T3RF (this one censored specifically to protect my notifs lmao. 3 is E) presence here. report, block, ignore, move on. common courtesy for users to inform each other if one is accidentally reblogged from. it also helps to blacklist tags related to them to avoid them. use shinigam! eyes browser extension on desktop.

there is NO equivalent to reddit awards on this website. as the userbase hates the staff, it is considered blasphemous to spend your money on checkmarks, etc. - buying them as a gift for another user is seen as a hostile act. it's like receiving a "kick-me" sign. once owned, badges cannot be deleted. thankfully, tumblr now allows you to disable checkmarks and other badges from appearing publically. that said, some users also give checkmarks unironically to show appreciation??? and others buy checks for themselves???? so yeah. tumblr doesnt actually have a verification system - these exist to mock twitter and to make a quick buck.

tumblr blaze. essentially, tumblr has a system in place to showcase user posts instead of advertisements sometimes. this is done by the user paying money. the higher the amount, the more impressions. tumblr users can now also blaze OTHER PEOPLE'S POSTS. MAKE SURE YOU HAVE BLAZE DISABLED!!! blazing another person's post (without asking first) is seen as a hostile act. why? because most blazed posts result in rude comments from strangers who are annoyed to see the post on their dashboard. unless it's like, a cute picture of a cat. or something genuinely helpful. boosting your soundcloud or a selfie or a rant about fandom does not typically garner positive responses. you can blaze just like. watch out. and also always ask the OP if you want to blaze someone else's post. (there is a reason this feature is called "blaze pvp")

tumblr merch is also frowned upon, as tumblr staff steals ideas from the userbase and profits off of them without financially compensating or crediting the users. there was a meme on here, "vanilla extract", that tumblr turned into water bottles while the person who made the meme was having to fundraise to survive :(

BLOCK. LIBERALLY.

umm i think thats it for now. but like if you have questions feel free to launch them into The Void with some tags and users are pretty quick to help out! hopefully i covered some stuff that other ppl haven't

#reddit #196 #reddit migration

[ssadumba55]

I posted 331 times in 2022

175 posts created (53%)

156 posts reblogged (47%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@sillysnack

@quiverwingquack

@ssadumba55

@marcithan

@fo-babes

I tagged 223 of my posts in 2022

Only 33% of my posts had no tags

#moony rambles - 124 posts

#answered ask - 46 posts

#disney imagine - 34 posts

#gender neutral imagine - 32 posts

#gender neutral reader - 31 posts

#disney headcanons - 17 posts

#disney x reader - 16 posts

#pixar imagine - 12 posts

#female imagine - 8 posts

#female reader - 7 posts

Longest Tag: 113 characters

#i have watched alvin and the chipmunks (2007) like five times this week and i might go insane if i watch it again

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I Don't Deserve Bruno (Bruno Madrigal X Reader)

Request: Hi :) I hope you have a lovely day/night! Can I request something? What about Bruno x reader and usually in fics it's the townspeople who gossip about their relationship and say that reader is too good for them and he doesn't deserve them. But what if it's the other way round? This time the townspeople look down on reader and say they don't deserve Bruno

You had always been aware of the gossip that flowed through the village, if you spent even an hour there you were bound to hear some interesting things about people. It had never bothered you growing up, though you refused to participate in it yourself. There were far more important things to do than stand around and discuss what someone did with her hair.

Now, however, it was all you could think about. Being the center of it will do that to you, especially when they’re not exactly quiet about it.

Dating a Madrigal. He could do a lot better. What do you think Alma thinks of this? I can think of several people who would be a better match. Do you think he actually likes them?

Bruno was oblivious, or so it seemed. He would walk through the village, head held high, hand in yours. Loudly proclaiming (without words) that you were his. Or he used to anyway, now you refused to go anywhere in public with him. Even sitting down to family dinners with the Madrigal family made you nervous, like any second they would all realize you didn’t belong there.

The townspeople were right, of course they were. They were rarely ever wrong, soon the Madrigal’s would also figure it out, in particular, Bruno would.

“You’re thinking about it again,” Bruno glanced over, he was bent down, feeding his rats. He had no idea really what you were thinking about but he had taken notice of your odd behavior and connected the dots that it was related to one thing you weren’t ready to talk about yet.

He was patient, you had to commend him for it. It was clearly eating him to know what was bothering you, he wanted to know so he could help fix it but he respected your privacy.

You shook the thoughts from your head, kneeling down beside him, holding out your hands. He passed the rat he was holding to you and you stroked your finger over it’s head gently while he went back to his feeding,

He mumbled softly to his rats as he divided up the food. He’s a good guy, he’s been through so much. The people in town were right, you realized. He deserves someone better, someone who was worthy of his kindness, of his gentleness. Someone strong, not someone weak like you, who lets other people’s opinions tear them down.

‘I don’t deserve Bruno.’

If you were thinking logically at that moment, you may have realized how ridiculous this line of thinking was. But you weren’t. The rat jumped out of your hand as your breathing increased, your heart felt like it was beating so loud. You made to stand, but stumbled. Hands gripped your arms and you felt yourself being guided to sit.

“Are you okay? What happened? Should I get Julieta?” Bruno’s hands came up to cup your face, forcing you to meet his eyes. You pulled away from his hands so fast like the touch was burning your skin, watching as his expression changed from worry to hurt.

He returned his arms to his sides. “I- I’m sorry! Lo siento! Do you want me to get somebody else?”

You didn’t respond, just buried your face into your knees that you’d brought up to your chest. He had a feeling touching you would make it worse, so he fought the urge to move any closer. He wanted to help, to make whatever pain you were feeling go away but he wasn’t sure how to do it.

He wasn’t even sure what was wrong.

When you had calmed yourself down enough to speak again, you chose your words carefully.

“Bruno, wouldn’t you rather date somebody else in town? Maybe…” You were going to say someone worthy of being a Madrigal. You definitely weren’t.

His brows scrunched, confused by the question. There was nobody in town he’d rather date. He had only ever had eyes for you, and now that he had you he never planned on letting you go. You were his proudest achievement, as corny as it sounded. You just made everything in his life better, made living outside of the walls worth it.

“No. Why would you think that?”

And it suddenly dawned on him. Dolores had told him that the villagers had been saying some unsavory things about them as a couple, about his love especially. His heart felt like it was shattering, the same people who had once shunned him were now hurting someone he loved dearly. What a cruel twist of fate to be on the other side.

“It’s the people in town isn’t it?” He asked softly, and you were surprised he knew. He seemed to be connecting the dots as he went. “That’s why you wanted to stop going on walks… Even though you love them. And why you spend a lot of time here in my tower. You don’t want to be around other people because…”

“I’m not worthy to love a Madrigal, let alone become one. You could do so much better than me, Bruno,” you finished his thought for him.

He felt guilty for not realizing sooner how much you were hurting, he had assumed all of that was completely unrelated. Maybe you were tired or not feeling well…

“If either of us is not worthy, mi amor, it’s me. You’ve been carrying this all alone for so long and I should’ve been helping you. All of that is just lies, you know. You are the most amazing person I know, you sit with me and feed the rats, what other person would do that?” He reached his hand up to caress your face, this time you leaned into his touch instead of pulling away. “And the rest of the family adores you. My sisters think you’re a miracle in yourself for putting up with me, my sobrinos and sobrinas think you’re the best. Even Mamá. You make me the happiest man in the world, let alone Encanto. I don’t care what they think.”

He stuck his tongue out and even though you weren’t feeling entirely better, you laughed. He hummed softly, clearly happy to hear the sound come from your lips again.

“You know if you ever need a reminder, I’m always here,” he pulled you into his side, his words enough for now to quiet your raging insecurities. Eventually, you’d need a refresher on those words but for now, with them fresh in your head and heart, you could rest with him.

He made a thoughtful noise. “You know Antonio’s jaguar wouldn’t mind scaring the people who said those nasty things…”

See the full post

311 notes - Posted February 4, 2022

#4

Shoot (Leo Valdez X Child of Apollo! Reader)

A/n: this is something I've been trying to write for a while but could never finish. it's not a request, just something I really felt inspired to write. I don't write enough for Leo! Plus this really helped me get my flow for writing back

For most demigods, finding out they're a half-blood and having a place to finally fit in is the best feeling in the world, for you it just makes you feel ostracized more than ever.

Your mortal parent had dropped you off with the hopes that maybe you’d finally belong somewhere, be with people who were like you. But as soon as you stepped into the camp, you knew that wasn’t going to be the case.

Camp Half-Blood, at least it seemed to someone who had never been, was a place where everyone knew who they were. There were the good looking Aphrodite kids, the mischievous Hermes kids, the crafty Hephaestus kids. And then there was you.

The first week of camp was spent trying to figure out who your godly parent was. Judging by how little you fit into the existing cabins, you were sure your godly parent was going to be some extremely minor god or goddess.

But to yours and everyone’s surprise, a week into camp you were claimed by Apollo. The god of the sun, of prophecy and poetry, music and medicine. Nothing that you felt a personal affinity for, it just made your feelings of not belonging worse.

You had no friends at camp, keeping mostly to yourself. The closest to a friend you guessed you could say you had was Will Solace, your brother.  Half brother. He was the Apollo cabin head counselor and, probably sensing your slight distress when you first moved in, latched onto you almost immediately. Which meant his weird son of Hades boyfriend, Nico Di Angelo, also hung around you a lot. 

Even if you had wanted to make actual friends, it would be impossible with Nico hanging around. A lot of the campers were uneasy and unsettled by his presence. He was alright with you, though. The two of you rarely ever conversed directly. He only hung around you if Will was there too, so you wouldn’t really consider him a friend. 

The more camp activities you participated in, the stronger your desire to isolate yourself from the other campers came to be. You couldn’t play any musical instrument they had at camp, when you tried to help Will in the infirmary you just ended up getting in the way more than actually helping and you really didn’t understand the point or process in poetry.

Being good at nothing your dad was the patron god of stank, especially when it seemed like he’d gifted all his other children with the joys of mastering these skills. Sure, you were okay at hand to hand combat, not bad with a sword either and you loved spending time with the pegasi in the stables but none of that made you a child of Apollo.

Which is why the four of you were on the archery fields now. It was the last of the activities you had to try from your fathers plethora of patronity and you hoped it would be the one you were at least semi decent at. The sun was setting on another day at Camp Half-Blood, there was still time before dinner though so Will had decided to take you out to the fields and see if you had merit as an archer.

With him was his ever faithful boyfriend, Nico and Leo Valdez, a chipper son of Hephaestus who had actually volunteered to come help.

Why, you would never know, it was probably just going to end in disappointment.

Still, you stood with your legs parted, exactly as Will had instructed. Fingers pulled the bowstring back taut, the arrow nocked and ready to be sent flying. Just you and the target, you could do this. Before you could think anymore about it, you released the arrow and it soared… for a few seconds before promptly hitting the ground.

Seriously? It was like your dad was intentionally picking on you, making you bad at the things he was good at on purpose just to get a rise out of you. 

“Hey, that looked pretty good! You should try raising the arrow a little higher next time,” Will said from your right, shooting you an encouraging smile before turning back to helping Nico with his shooting. Nico wasn’t an archer, nor did he have any interest in shooting. He probably just liked the excuse to be close to Will.

You let out a groan as Leo stuck his thumbs in the air, grinning encouragingly as well.

“Come on, try again! I know you can do it! You make the… the preparation look so easy!” He was clearly trying his best to be supportive, but had no idea how to be so. It was annoying, he was too chipper. Plus, the two of you barely knew each other. Why was he even here anyway? This was one of the few rare occasions you’d seen him outside of his cabin or workspace. He spent hours there, according to Will. Supposedly he was working on something special, but nobody wanted to ask what it was yet.

You glared at him, but it didn’t seem to deter his attitude. His stupid face was really starting to bother you.

“If you think it’s so easy, why don’t you do it yourself.” You shoved the weaponry into his arms and stomped off. It was childish and uncalled for. You knew it, but you couldn’t take it anymore. Coming to this place was the worst decision of your life. Someone called out to you, probably Will, but you ignored him and kept going.

Hot tears pricked the back of your eyes as you made your way to the dock to sit and relax, clear your head. The dinner bell rang shortly after but you didn’t join them. It would be too embarrassing to see Nico, Leo and Will after your outburst. Plus, you weren’t hungry anyway. You just wanted to fit in somewhere, belong. Do something right.

As the sun began edging closer to the horizon, you realized though that you’d have to go back to your cabin eventually. Miserably, you picked yourself up off the dock and began the walk. Maybe if you were lucky, Will wouldn’t be back yet.

As you neared the cabins, your shoulders relaxed. You could hear the sounds of singing coming from the amphitheater. That meant everyone was distracted with a sing-along. You could sneak off to bed and nobody would even notice you missing.

“Hey! Wait up!” A voice said from behind you and you turned, immediately a wave of guilt flooding into you. Leo Valdez was making his way toward you, in his hand what looked to be a case. He probably wanted an apology for your freak out earlier, after all, none of it had been his fault.

You slowed so he could catch up, avoiding his eyes as he fell into step beside you. 

There was silence for a few beats, then he broke the silence; “Are you alright? You ran off really fast, I called out to you, but Will said it was probably better to give you your space.”

Somehow, he was only worried about you even though he had every right to be upset.

“I’m fine. Wouldn’t you rather be at the sing-a-long?”

His face turned slightly pinker, like he was almost embarrassed about being there with you and not with everyone else.

See the full post

317 notes - Posted May 18, 2022

#3

From Afar (Bruno Madrigal X Reader)

Request: None! This is my gift to you all for being gone for so long. This movie cured my writer's block and made me feel really good so I really wanted to write something for it. Hope you all enjoy! Looking forward to reopening the request box soon!

There was something odd about Bruno Madrigal.

Not in a bad way, no, heavens no! You had been fascinated with him as long as you could remember. Growing up in the Encanto meant you saw him quite often, but he was always tailed by his sisters, Julieta and Pepa. Even when he wasn’t, he was surrounded by other villagers, who lined up to have their futures read. If you were braver, maybe you would have joined them, just to be able to talk to him. But you weren’t, so you watched from the sidelines as he did his thing, then continued on doing yours.

Then one day he disappeared and the entire town moved on, including the rest of the Madrigal family. In fact, the only real proof he still existed was the mural of the Madrigal’s that was painted in town. If not for that and the fact that you had practically grown up with him from afar, you might not have ever known he existed in the first place.

You tried to forget him during the decade he was gone, but you couldn’t. It was hard to forget an unrequited crush like that. Especially when you never got the chance to see if he felt the same way. You tried your best to move on, living your life as best as you could.

“Hey, (Y/n)! Are you coming?” Your friend popped up from behind the shelf you were stacking things on, scaring the hell out of you and causing a large amount of the stuff in your arms to fall all over the floor. Slightly annoyed, you bent to pick the stuff up.

“I have to rearrange the store, remember?”

She pouted, helping you pick stuff up off the floor. “But the Madrigal’s need us, they’re rebuilding their home! And I heard some rumors floating around that Bruno Madrigal is back…”

You groaned, what a dumb rumor. He was definitely long gone, probably somewhere where nobody knew his name. He’s definitely out there happy somewhere… but the curiosity got the better of you, dropping your things on one of the tables.

“I guess I can do this later…”

She whooped, grabbing your arm and pulling you out of the shop into the crowd of people heading to help the Madrigals with their home.

By the time you reached the rubble of what was once the Madrigal family home, your friend had disappeared into the crowd. People were getting to work all around you, finding things to do and making themselves useful. This was a mistake! With all these people working, it would get done twice as fast, they didn’t need you! You’d just drag the workload down.

“Hey! Are you here to help?” Mirabel Madrigal was bouncing around, helping in any way she could. She must’ve spotted you standing awkwardly not knowing what to do.

You were about to make an excuse about having to do something back home when she pointed over her shoulder. “Camilo could use your help with the foundation stuff!”

You followed where she pointed, searching for her cousin, mentally kicking yourself for not turning around and going back home. The only reason you’d come here in the first place was because Bruno was potentially here, and that clearly hadn’t been true at all….

“(Y/n)?” You hadn’t even noticed you’d nearly walked right into someone until you were stumbling back to not hit them, hands reached out to steady you. At first you thought it had to be your friend, she was the only one in town who really talked to you. But the hands gripping your arms were too slender to be her.

Slowly, you raised your head to see who it was that caught you and your stomach dropped. Bruno had a concerned look on his face, he was clearly worried about you. Words, you needed to say something but nothing would come out. His eyes darted away uncertainly, looking at something or someone over your shoulder.

“S- Sorry. I should’ve been watching where I was going. I nearly knocked you over,” he finally broke the awkward silence. Part of you wanted to laugh, this was insane. You’d been pining for him for a decade (longer than that) and this was the first thing he’d ever said directly to you. Not only that but he’d said your name, he knew your name? It wasn’t that big of a village so that wasn’t crazy, but you’d always kept to yourself and assumed he hadn’t noticed you.

“No! It’s my fault!” You pulled your arms away, laughing nervously. God have your palms been sweating this entire time? “Didn’t know you knew my name…”

He flushed, suddenly becoming very interested in the sandals on his feet.

“The foundation isn’t going to build itself!” Someone called, drawing your attention away from your long time crush and Camilo walked by, giving you a knowing look as he passed, yelling “On it!”

You directed your attention back to Bruno, expecting to see him awkwardly staring at the ground still but he wasn’t. He had his hood pulled over his head to cover his eyes.

“Bruno?”

“I’m Hernando! I’m not scared of anything!” He was making his voice deeper. There was something odd about Bruno, but you couldn’t help but be amused by it.

You laughed. “Sorry, Hernando. My apologies. I was just wondering if I could talk to Bruno though. It’s just been a long time since I’ve seen him and I’ve finally worked up the courage to tell him something important.”

There was a hesitation, his voice wavering between Bruno and Hernando as he spoke next.

“Wouldn’t you rather talk to someone else?”

“Not really.”

See the full post

446 notes - Posted January 25, 2022

#2

Being in a Poly Relationship with Naveen and Tiana

Request: Poly relationship hcs with Tiana and Prince Naveen? (Princess in the Frog)

First of all, these two would be the most supportive and loving in a polyamorous relationship

Tiana is super ambitious and loving, her father taught her that the most important thing is to love those close to you. So she will take care of you.

Especially in terms of food, she would make you all your favourite dishes

Naveen on the other hand would like to spoil both you and Tiana with things he buys

Even though neither you or Tiana are hugely materialistic, you understand that it's Naveen's way of showing love and so it makes the items special

Dancing to Naveen's music at the restaurant while Tiana is working

Teaming up with Naveen to slightly annoy Tiana, who usually laughs your pranks off and offers you both food

Naveen is definitely a touchy feely guy, he will definitely have his arms around you and Tiana as much as possible

Whenever you have an off day, you somehow find yourself wrapped in a blanket with a bowl of Tiana's dad's infamous gumbo somehow (usually because Naveen tackles you and makes you take it easy)

And you never feel left out because whenever you even start to feel left out they remind you how loved you are

Stealing Naveen's hats, much to his annoyance and Tiana's amusement

Naveen teaching you how to play ukulele. At first it's really frustrating and you almost give up, but he's a really patient teacher and it does feel great when he wraps his hands over yours to make sure you get the notes right

And Tiana definitely teaches you to cook. The two of you spend hours in the kitchen, giggling, dancing around each other, taste testing each other's work.

You love visiting Tiana's mother, the three of you make her so happy. Happy that her daughter has found not just one, but two people who make her daughter feel loved and special

"When are you thinking about having children?"

"Mom!"

And yeah, the three of you definitely share a bed. You can't tell me these two wouldn't love cuddling all together.

521 notes - Posted January 26, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Dating Prince Naveen Headcanons

Request: I am hyperfixating on Princess and the Frog rn so I was wondering if I may request dating Prince Naveen headcanons?? (Fem or gn reader please) A/N: Written/put together by the amazing @fo-babes who always comes through for me in a jam haha. Enjoy!

Huge huge huge flirt, even before he knows your name. He flirts with everyone but once he saw you, you were his main target for his flirting.

Before he knew your name, he always used cute nicknames for you. Love, darling, doll, etc. He definitely would stop if you asked him to cause consent is key.

When you two finally got to know each other but you were still friends, every day he would try to get you to fall for him. He never minds making the first move but he also loves it when the other person makes it. It makes him feel wanted and loved.

Now when you two are officially dating, the flirting only intensifies, but only for you. Now that he’s in a committed relationship, he flirts with you and only you, no one else.

Every single day when he’s out doing whatever, he’s always looking for stuff in store display windows that you might like. One of his love languages is gift giving. He’s gonna spoil you, no matter how much you protest. 

He would like to have a kid or two, but it’s not something he absolutely would love to have. If you don’t want kids, then he doesn’t want kids. 

Consent is everything to this man. He may be a bit forward but he will stop immediately if asked to. If you don’t want to do something, then he doesn’t want to. And he would expect you to treat him the same. 

Late night dancing in the kitchen while waiting for the cookies in the oven to be done. Enough said.

He’s actually such a gentle lover. One of his favorite things to do is to cup your cheek so softly and press the softest, gentlest kiss on your lips that still leaves you breathless afterwards. He treats you as you are made of glass. He will do anything and everything to keep you safe.

You’re literally an angel to him and he could not ask for more. You’re the best thing in his life and he plans to keep you in it. 

Tiana and Charlotte love you two to bits. At costume parties, they purposefully put you two in the spotlight cause you two are the cutest couple ever. Of course they won’t do it if you’re uncomfortable with being the center of attention.

Naveen always always dips you after a dance and kisses you so passionately. One time he lost himself in the kiss and lost his balance and fell on top of you. Both of you had bruised lips for a couple days and laughed about it. 

He can and will worship the very ground you walk on. He treats you like the king/queen/royalty you are. 

Oh you’re going out to eat? Don’t you dare touch that check. Naveen pays for everything. He even insists on paying on his birthday.

One of his dreams is to marry you, or be in a seriously committed relationship with you. You are the light in his life. He would love to spend the rest of his days by your side. 

710 notes - Posted May 3, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[resolvebound]

About page | Headcanons | Canon Divs | Verses | Tags

Portrayal notes + canon divs

(more will be added at some point, probably)

Filler arcs etc: The filler episodes/arcs and 100 Year Quest are not included as canon, but if you are writing a character from the 100 Year Quest, I’m sure we can still put something together.

Main verse: The war was a lot to deal with, and Fairy Tail’s involvement within it was not easy to digest. Needing some distance and time to get his head around things, he has decided to no longer be part of the guild. He lives in a cabin in the northern Fiorean mountains and often travels around doing independent jobs and helping people and towns that were impacted by the war. Also, he has two dogs :')

Stripping habit: As detailed here, he does not strip in the way he does in canon, however he does feel more comfortable without his shirt on and the urge to take it off is a stress response when in certain situations (but instead of actually taking it off, he tends to merely fidget).

Juvia: Gray does not have romantic feelings towards her, and as detailed here, the ‘default’ version of Juvia in mine and all my muse’s minds is not the canon version. Juvia is an important friend to Gray and is someone he is close to.

Silver: Gray’s father is not Silver (that whole thing was so…messy). Silver is Ultear’s father. Eventually I might write up a proper post about that whole fight.

Demon Slaying Magic: I’ll do a more in-depth post about it once I figure a few things out (I have to seriously rework an old hc now that I don’t want Silver to be his dad), but the main thing is that this is a magic that is incredibly dangerous, especially when learnt too quickly (the way that Gray was forced to). It creates a darkness within the user that aggravates and heightens certain emotions alongside the increased physical (demonic) attributes. Gray is still getting a handle on it and, after nearly becoming lost to it during the war, he fears hurting innocent people with it.

Avatar: Gray became involved with the Avatar situation after running into Erza several months after Fairy Tail’s disbandment. They investigated together and soon teamed up with Crime Sorciere who were also gathering intel on the group. Gray volunteered to go undercover within the cult, and he was successful with that goal. After Avatar was brought down, Gray was arrested alongside the other members and went through trials before he was released. When he took up the mission, he did not do so without telling Juvia.

Parents: His mother was an art historian, which is where he gets most of his artistic skill, and his father was a blacksmith, which contributed to his ice-make style. He has few strong memories of them and keeps them to himself.

Conduct as a mage + rebuilding effort postwar: In his earlier years in Fairy Tail, he was not particularly careful when going on jobs and frequently did cause more destruction than he should have, he was an Angery Boi. However, as he got a little older (and received a lecture or two from certain guildmates), he became more careful and began to relate his reckless destruction with that of his own hometown and the devastation brought by Deliora. From that point on, he made the utmost effort to complete jobs with as little mess as possible, and if there were times when he broke something, he always replaced it or assisted with repair. Along with the reminder of his own lost hometown, it’s the sense of guilt at Fairy Tail being the cause of the recent war that fuels his drive to help with the rebuilding effort wherever he can. He spends as much time as possible helping out those in need.

Respect/boundaries: As someone who values his own privacy and has certain boundaries himself, he does not pry into other people’s business (generally) and always asks for permission before visiting someone (meaning he does not and did not randomly let himself into Lucy’s apartment and definitely never rifled through her belongings).

#not me totally checking kai's post to make sure i havent forgotten things #eheheh #portrayal notes tag

[cuddlesslut]

Part Seven: Regrets

Atsumu x fem reader, Suna x rem reader, Hinata x fem reader

A/N: guess who’s fridge went out and won’t be able to get a new one till the 15th 🙋🏻‍♀️😩. Sorry this chapter is shorter than usual it’s kind of a filler But next chapter should be pretty long. I know a couple of people were wonder what happened with him so here we are with the return of a character. I might set up a poll for who should YN end up with so look out for that. I’m going to start writing my next story soon it’s going to be another angst!

Warning: Angst that’s about it. Maybe a lil lewd language.

Part Six: Promises

Part Eight: Hope

He laid in his empty bed staring up at his ceiling the only sound filtering through the room was the echo of the tv in the livingroom. He didn’t have the energy to go shut it off, plus he found comfort the noise it brought he found the silence unbearable. He sighed as he looked at the open space next to him. He never took much stock in how empty it felt without you next to him. The smell of your shampoo had long since vanished from the pillows. He closed his eyes and tried to imagine you were here next to him your head resting on his chest your hands interwoven talking about your plans for the day but while the memory played in his head clear as day his body had forgotten your warmth. It wasn’t too hard to picture , you had spent several morning just like that wrapped in each other’s embrace. He thinks to the mornings he’d walk out of his early showers to find you leaning against the kitchen counter drinking your morning coffee. He can still remember how you enjoyed your first cup of coffee to start your day. You liked your coffee sweet , but to were you could still taste the rich coffee flavor, always pairing it with an array of creamers. He remembers when you first started staying over at his place and he realized your affinity for flavored coffee he went out to the store and stocked up on as many flavors he could find in hopes you’d stay for more coffee before heading off to school. He loved that sight in the morning walking out and seeing you clad in just his shirt your hair a mess from last nights activities. But you weren’t here to have coffee in the morning, all of the creamers starting to expire, and he had no one to blame but himself.

Atsumu has spent the last seven month alone. There were a few nights he’d tried to pick up girls just to try and fill the gigantic hole left in his life by your absence but those all ended in disaster. One night he tried to have a careless hook up it didn’t get past the front door when he accidentally moaned your name when the random girl had cupped his manhood. She wasn’t very happy about that. He received a knee to the groin as she fleed the house. Another time he tried he was able to keep his mouth shut from making any mistakes after choosing a girl who was nothing like you but then he had another problem. He couldn’t get it up. You plagued his thoughts. You were the only woman his body wanted. It was quite embarrassing.

After Suna rocked his shit he finally started to snap out of his self pity. Why the hell was he crying? Because he was lonely? He can only imagine how lonely you felt every night he didn’t come home. He sighs running his hands down his face he really was a piece of shit he thinks. He didn’t treat you the way you deserved and he knows that. He knows he was selfish and inconsiderate. He knows he’s way to late but he regrets everything he did. Every single mistake eats away at him. None of it was worth it. Every flirt, every compliment that boosted his ego, the rush of excitement of being with someone else it was all worthless compared to being with you. He thinks back to everynight he stayed out late or he canceled dates, about the pain that hid behind your eyes. Now that his head wasn’t stuck up his ass he could finally see all of the misery he put you through. And he hated himself for it.

The setter wanted nothing more that to fix all of his mistakes, but he knew he was too late. Atsumu didn’t expect you to ever in a thousand years forgive him or even in a million years want him back, but he knows he can’t just do nothing. He’d spend the rest of his days trying to make amends. After Suna had pointed out how horrible he was for not looking for you he did everything to find you. He started by calling the University to see if you had been attending class but even with the title of fiancé , which he understood was false by not adding former to the title, they refused him any information to protect your privacy. He had long noticed the empty bank account but he wasn’t worried about that the money it was the least you deserved. Plus the fantasy of making you his wife and calling you YN Miya was nothing but a pipe dream now. So he’s sure the money would do you better. He tried to follow any money trail you left. He found the hotel that you must have run to that night. But even that was a bust leading to a dead end. He only knew one more course of action. He called your parents. They refused to answer his calls. Eventually he drove down to Hyogo by himself. The setter stood there on the front steps he’d stand on every morning when he’d walk you to school. It felt so familiar to knock on the cedar door, but everything felt so distant from his memories. Still he wasn’t quite sure what he expected, maybe for you to answer the door with a bright smile like you had all those years ago yet what he received was your mother standing there with a look of disgust present. He didn’t get a word in before she slammed the door in his face. He begged for her come back to please talk to him he just needed answers but he only received silence. He stayed there for close to an hour trying to get just a morsel of information. It was useless they refused to speak to him. That was his last idea he could come up with for finding you. Full of dread he made his way to his car ready to make the long drive home. The next day he received a phone call from his brother.

“Hey Samu what’s u-” the blonde started before his grey haired twin interrupted his greeting going straight to the point.

“She’s alive and fine,” Atsumus heart stuttered before he breathed a sigh of relief. He opened his mouth to ask his next question but Osamu cut him off yet again already knowing what his twin was going to ask.

“No we don’t know where she is. Kita-Senpai went to her parents and all they’d state was she was alive and out of harm, not that I’d tell you where she is if I knew,” Osamu’s tone was sharp. Atsumu knew he deserved that. His brother had made him well aware of his dissatisfaction in the blondes actions. He had to thank the his brother though, as upset he was with him he still looked out for him. Always checking up on him making sure he was eating and keeping up with his hygiene, throwing away all the liquor he could find because as disappointed he was with Atsumu he couldn’t let him tear himself apart.

“I know Samu, thank you for telling me.” He spoke softly before clicking the end call button.

He accepted that it was best he stayed out of your life. He wanted to make everything up to you and if staying out of your life was wanted then he’d respect your wishes. He spent the next months bettering himself. He cut all alcohol out of his life. Only going out when it was with his teammates although that was a rare occurrence they were also quite disappointed with how he had treated you, especially his wing spiker Sakusa. Omi-Omi had always had a soft spot for you. But still they didn’t let it affect their game play. He focused all of his energy on volleyball. He even started going to a few therapy sessions for his self distructive behaviors and impulses. He really wanted to do and be better if not for you then for himself. Although he still had trouble being home alone without you, never feeling quite whole. With out you this house would never truly be his home again. He was starting to get better and not drown in agony every morning he woke up alone although he knew he deserved it. One step that had made the process easier was boxing up the remainder of your belongings that you had left. For so long he had kept everything just as you left it hopeful for your return thinking maybe everything could go back to normal and life could be picked up where it was left off although this time he’d swear to never hurt you again. It was unrealistic to think that though. His therapist had told his several times it was a step he needed to take and while it took several months he was finally able to remove any trace from the house. That night he cried him self to sleep from the finality that came from not seeing a piece of you around as though you had never been there in the first place.

He regretted not cherishing you for the amazing woman you are. He’ll never forgive himself for losing the best thing to everything to happen to him. At Seven months since that night he was finally able to breath when he went home, not suffocating from regret every moment present in those walls. The Jackals were on a winning streak and even more exciting they had just got a new member. And after all these years he was able to hold up at least one promise he had made after breaking so many at least he could fulfill one promise by finally getting to set for Shoyo Hinata.

Home Masterlist

Taglist is Open

Taglist: @animeboihoe @karlitabi-rrito @mutli-fandom-fanfic @comically-sleep-deprived @madmelle @momoinot @eggbutnotyolk @yunhosblackgf @6sakusa @diesinspanishbcimhispanic @a-fucking-simp @its-babybitch @sakusasonlywife @japanushiiiii @dekuspet @sredamancy @haikyuusimp91 @shoyosbitchh @far-off-dream @tsukkisfatsimp @nestlevanilla @simply-not-the-same @porcolie @uwubby-1 @ahopefulbouquetcollection @graykageyama @elianetsantana @allykat7599 @airybnb @wonhomarshmallow @minnieminnie00-got7 @weebtato

Bolded accounts couldn’t be tagged

#haikyuu!! #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x y/n #hq #atsumu miya #atsumu angst #haikyuu angst #haikyuu atsumu #atsumu x female reader #atsumu x reader #atsumu x y/n #suna angst #haikyuu suna #suna x reader #suna x yn #haikyuu hinata #hinata x reader #hinata angst #hinata x you #hinata x y/n #atsumu is an ass #atsumu is trying to be better tho #suna is a simp #hinata shoyo could end me #home by cuddlesslut #home series #haikyuu smut #haikyuu x you #hinata shoyuo #suna rintarou

[ichigokeks]

Hi, this is just me venting ! Please ignore it if you want !

Well I’ve seen several ppl blame mostly Mo for the current situation and it really annoys me. I’m not saying Mo is not guilty, but some ppl here seem to forget He Tian (I really do love him I swear) has acted like a fucking asshole several times now..actually he is part of the reason Mo lost his job, and overall lacks sensitivity. I’m not saying Mo shutting everyone out is okay..they are both ridiculous, but ppl only complaining over Mo being too prideful and stubborn, while saying He Tian is the only one reaching out is kind of a “wtf” moment. He Tian shoved a credit card into his face that’s pretty humiliating 😂 If it were me, I would have probably spat in his face. Anyway, You can’t criticize Mo and ignore He Tian handling situations so poorly (and it’s been accumulating for a while).

Again, Mo ain’t no saint, but they both are responsible for this mess. this fight is actually good, they both need to sort things out.

Thank you and have a great week ! ✨💖

Hi dear, it's okay to vent 😊

This will be a long answer with my interpretation and take on things

(if anyone wishes to comment please be sure to be respectful especially if you disagree with anyone's opinion)

I hardly check the tag bec of discourse like this. But I fully understand your feelings. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and since we're reading someone else's story, we should be aware that everything we analyse and the conclusions we draw from that is an interpretation. I would never claim to know what Mo or He Tian really think or what Old Xian has planned for them.

We always get BOTH perspectives and stories but people seem to forget that He Tian and Mo respectively do NOT know the perspective of the other. He Tian doesn't know that Mo feels bad for lashing out at him. Mo doesn't know that He Tian is suffering, too, and deeply cares for him and is just really bad at communicating that.

That being said, Mo and He Tian are teenagers that carry burdens teenager should not have to carry. They are both heavily traumatised and it is reflected in their behaviour and interactions.

Yes, it is not okay to use trauma and mental issues as an excuse for everything but... they are teenagers. They are 15 years old! They are not in therapy, they are extremely lonely. They both do not have an adult in their life to whom they can turn to for guidance. (It seems that Mo doesn't want to bother his mother with anything because he feels like he would only cause her heartache and trouble...). So of course they are stubborn, mean, egoistical and proud. It is also part of their character - that might not have anything to do with their past trauma. Some people are stubborn. Some are very proud. That's how it is. I don't think anyone could judge them for that. Mo being poor does not in any way mean he cannot have pride.

He Tian suffers from fear of abandonment. So he latches onto Mo and often forces himself onto Mo with little understanding for Mo's need for privacy or alone-time. He doesn't understand that just because someone wants to be left alone it doesn't mean they will leave you or don't want anything to do with you ever again. He is scared Mo will leave him. He knows that Mo is in dire need of money and at the beginning of their "relationship" Mo only stuck around because He Tian paid him. It is a logical but obviously entirely unfitting and insensitive reaction to offer Mo money whenever Mo pushes He Tian away.

Mo has trust issues and low self-esteem. He is poor and has bad grades at school. He feels like a failure. I thought he knew by now that He Tian is in love with him but taking the latest chapter into account I think he doesn't understand that at all - because He Tian is really bad at expressing affection and general feelings. For Mo it seems like He Tian only pities him and treats him like some sort of charity project to make himself feel good.

So in short, I feel like they are both judged for being human. Are they acting ridiculous and stupid? Yes! But aren't we all like that when we're hurting and feel like no one understands us?

And, yes, I do sometimes feel like it goes too far and I cannot fully follow and understand why they react the way they do - but it is a fictional story after all...

#19 days #old xian #19 days update #tianshan #19 days analysis #mo guan shan #he tian #answered #anon

[florrickandassociates]

TGF Thoughts: 5x04- And the clerk had a firm...

You can tell I’m enjoying this season when episodes air on Thursdays and I’ve written a recap by Friday night. More under the cut, as always. 

I woke up very early on Thursday morning and couldn’t get back to sleep, so I decided to just watch this episode on my phone (I write these on rewatch). I’m sure the show was hoping that the upside-down clips of fake!Love Island would be disorienting, but wow, did this work on me. Between the lack of sleep and how plausible it would’ve been for me to accidentally have my phone upside-down with rotation lock on... I truly thought it was an ad for Love Island and also had to pause the episode to check my phone settings. Good job, show!

It turns out, however, that Carmen is doing a headstand and watching reality TV on her laptop. Very happy to see Carmen at home. It would be easy for the show to have her just be a mysterious presence at the firm, so even seeing her do perfectly normal things is a good reminder that she is a whole person and not just Associate Who Will Defend Anyone.  

(I wouldn’t have expected Carmen to enjoy reality tv, but then again, I love Big Brother so...)

Carmen lives in a studio that doesn’t look like it is brand new!!! I’m ridiculously excited to see an apartment that actually looks like a place someone fresh out of law school might live. I’d believe it if Carmen lived in a studio in a luxury building or a one-bed on the salary she’s surely making at RL, but it’s very refreshing to see a character who isn’t super-wealthy on this show that tends to be about, well, very wealthy people.  

Carmen is smarter than every other character on this show and on most TV shows: instead of opening the door without taking any precautions, she puts the chain on first. Remember how people used to just show up at Alicia’s door when she was the governor’s wife, and she’d always just open the door and look surprised?  

Charles Lester is at Carmen’s door even though it’s nearly midnight. She tries to get him to leave, but he insists on staying. She closes the door to undo the chain, and uses the privacy of the closed door to grab a makeshift weapon, just in case.

Carmen explains her apartment by saying, “student loans.” So she doesn’t come from (excessive) money. (Or she was cut off by her family, but I feel like the early character description of Carmen said something about her family not having money.)  

Lester has something very important to tell Carmen, but all his notes are on different scraps of paper and, even though he says his information is time sensitive, he takes his time looking for the right piece of paper.

He says Carmen can’t say she heard the info from him, blah blah. He’s there to share that in ten minutes, someone at the firm is going to be searched by the FBI. This info comes, of course, from Rivi.  

Do we think Lester has to reference his notes to remember that the FBI is searching a name partner of Carmen’s firm? Or do we think he’s fucking with her? I think the latter.

Carmen was doing exercises to help with migraines, btw.  

Carmen calls Diane to tip her off. Diane and Kurt are already asleep, but luckily, Diane has her phone on full volume and takes the call. She’s not happy about it and asks if it can wait until tomorrow. Asks is the wrong word—she instructs the caller to hang up if it can wait.  

Even though Carmen can’t say where she got the information, Diane knows it must be from Rivi. Seems obvious enough.

Kurt gets out of bed and starts locking up guns and getting to work; Diane calls Liz. Liz is in bed with a guy we’ve never seen before and she does not really want to talk.  

Liz notes that the info also could’ve come from Wolfe-Coleman, since Carmen is “tangled up with some rough characters.”  

I’m sorry, fake Netflix CEO man... WHY ARE YOU STILL TRYING TO KISS AND PLAY WITH LIZ WHEN SHE IS ON THE PHONE TALKING ABOUT PURGING FILES AND THE FBI????  

I don’t even hold this against the character. This is one of those things the writers of this show LOVE doing to heighten tension. They think people behave like this in real life and that it’s funny to have a million competing priorities at once, so they insist on doing things like this. In reality, I would be concerned about any person who did not hear “FBI” and go, “um, what the hell is happening? I should stop trying to fuck rn.”  

Kurt starts burning papers. Is no one going to point out that maybe being on the phone (after you KNOW you’ve had NSA issues) talking about tips from powerful criminals and asking questions that are pretty clearly about document destruction... is a bad strategy?  

Dude, why are you STILL GOING after Liz clearly tells you to stop!? Do you want me to hate you?!  

Liz adds Jay to the call. He is asleep and also his hallucination from the premiere is (sadly) back. I still don’t get what they’re going for with this, so I’ll just be happy that (1) there is only one hallucination this time and (2) it’s only on screen for a minute.  

This dude is really chanting “Let me see ‘em!” at Liz while she is on a frantic work call! This is how we are introduced to him! This is not funny! If this weren’t being played for laughs/to raise the stakes by having a lot going on I would be calling this man misogynistic!

Liz remembers that Diane has full boxes of files! They spill onto the floor as she tries to hide them! Drama!  

And then the FBI arrives, so Diane asks Liz to take her 9 am with Wackner

The FBI enters, accompanied by... Nancy Crozier! Nancy is now an AUSA for some reason!

Nancy has graduated from “just a girl from Michigan” to using her pregnancy for dramatic effect. I guess she’s aged into being Patti Nyholm, or something. (I would LOVE to see Patti Nyholm show up on TGF.)  

I know the client files are top of mind for Diane, but isn’t it kind of obvious that the FBI would be there about Kurt, given that the FBI was talking to Kurt days earlier?  

9 mins in is early for credits!! (This first act flies, too—did not feel like 9 minutes.)  

I say this once an episode, but isn’t it so fun to see all the characters from season one of TGW pop up in season five of TGF?  

Liz sees her new man, Del Cooper, in reception. He’s a client. They try to be professional with each other. Liz remembers Diane’s 9 am with Wackner and asks the receptionist to tell her when he arrives. She dismissively says it’s “Some judge guy.” Wackner is, of course, already there and watching the interaction with interest. He uses this as an opportunity to “look for the restroom,” observe Liz meeting with someone else, and walk down to the associate floor.

He asks associate Leah (we’ve definitely seen her several times before) where he’s supposed to go for the staff meeting. She asks if he means the partner meeting or the associate one—he wants whichever is more interesting. She says she only knows about the associate meeting, and so he tags along.

Leah and Lucy (the associate from last week; Michael Boatman’s daughter) talk and assume that Wackner is from STR Laurie and thus in charge of the fate of their careers.  

The associate meeting is fairly small—Leah refers to it as their “daily” so I wonder if it’s more like a team meeting than a meeting of all the associates.  

The COTW is about a comedian who isn’t always PC. FakeNetflix is getting a lot of Twitter pushback.  

“Ah, so you’re worried about being cancelled,” Liz notes. “Don’t say the ‘C’ word,” Del jokes. Then he asks the firm to do a sensitivity read of the comedian’s act.

Liz asks why them. David doesn’t get why she’s asking, though obviously Liz knows he won’t be offended by her question since they have a relationship outside of work. Del thinks that RL is the right firm for this task because they are a black firm, and also because this can be an audition for the rest of their legal business.  

This seems like it is better for a PR firm or image consultant? Not a law firm? But sure.  

Diane explains the whole January 6th situation to Liz. Liz immediately understands that if Kurt is in trouble, Diane is the one representing him. Because Kurt is Kurt, I’m willing to accept the “spouses-representing-each-other" trope here. But let the record reflect that, as always on this show, it is a TERRIBLE idea to have your spouse represent you! Just pick someone outside of the firm! JUST PICK ELSBETH, KURT.

Diane asks how her 9 am went; David Lee interrupts to ask Liz why she is being so casual with Del. “David, I am on the phone,” Liz responds. I love that she doesn’t really answer him.  

Leah and Lucy try to turn the associate meeting into a showcase of how great they are; the other associates catch on quickly and all are happy to answer Wackner’s questions. He wants to understand jury trials.

Nancy’s pregnancy act does not work on Judge Farley, yet she keeps it up anyway. Court doesn’t go well for Diane, but it also doesn’t go well for Nancy.

Some of these interactions remind me a little too much of Peter’s trial at the end of TGW, like this one where Nancy goes to Diane with information about Kurt.

Leah gets off the elevator as Diane and Nancy talk, and to Diane’s surprise, Wackner is shadowing Leah! She takes a moment to look surprised before we return to the scene with Nancy.

I like all the little interactions within this Wackner plot. Diane asking Liz to meet with Wackner both connects Wackner to Liz AND shows that Diane would turn to Liz for back-up, and having Wackner/Leah run into Diane in court is a good reminder that even though Diane is dealing with a pressing issue, Wackner hasn’t just disappeared.  

Diane encourages Kurt to talk. She wants to know if he’s not telling her something because she’s his wife or because she’s his lawyer. This is maybe why you don’t hire your wife as your lawyer.  

Kurt says it’s because of politics—Diane doesn’t like that, since this is one issue where their politics should be shared.  

“Diane, this works between us because we don’t let our political judgements overwhelm our respect for each other,” Kurt explains. But... is that relevant to this particular issue?  

Diane asks the same question, essentially, noting that January 6th changed “everything” for her and she can’t treat this like a “chess game” anymore. Kurt wants to know what she’s calling a chess game. She says their marriage is the one thing that’s not a game.  

On one level I understand exactly what Diane is saying and on another level I have no clue what this dialogue actually means. She can’t treat things like a game anymore, but also their marriage is the only thing that isn’t a game? So does that mean she can treat everything else like a game, then? I think what she’s trying to say is that the time for seeing political disagreements as a calm and rational game of strategy is over, and that she values her marriage and won’t play around with it.  

Kurt tells her what he burned—a list of people in his little group. He says he’d protect them just like he’d protect Diane’s book group friends. Oh, wow, I was not EVER expecting to hear about that arc again! This is a pretty perfect time to mention it, though, since Kurt DID protect book group for the exact same reason he’s protecting the members of his club.  

Other than “winning over a new client is important,” I have no idea why Liz and David Lee would gather together a group of partners to do the sensitivity read. I don’t know who IS the appropriate person to do the sensitivity read, given that this is a law firm, but I know this is a bad call.

Oh, they are going to go through line by line dissecting each joke in a group. They get through one joke before Madeline notes that the comedian is “objectifying black men.” A black male partner says he doesn’t mind. Madeline says that doesn’t matter because the joke is racially insensitive.  

Overlapping chatter ensues, and the partners try to make changes to the comedian’s jokes, like substituting Norwegian for Nigerian. This... is not what law firms do. The joke isn’t funny with the substitution, but it also wasn’t funny before. It was low hanging fruit and the correct answer is to just cut it entirely. (Also, if you’re a comedian and all your jokes are about common stereotypes of groups to which you do not belong, you are probably not a very funny comedian!)

Diane has Jay do some more investigating. Jay looks up when Diane says, “ringleader of the insurrectionists,” and Diane is just like, “I know.” Then Carmen walks in.

Diane congratulates Carmen on “hitting the ground running” and then asks again how she knew about the warrant. Diane says she’s covered by the same attorney-client privilege, so Carmen should be able to share. Carmen notes the warrant was actually about Kurt, which does not answer Diane’s question. “So this came from Rivi?” Diane asks. Carmen says she can’t confirm.

“Carmen. You have been here three weeks. You have two clients: Wolfe-Coleman and Oscar Rivi. It’s one or the other!” Diane notes. Yep. I love that they didn’t forget that this isn’t much of a mystery. It’s more about principle than anything. If Diane knows it’s one of two sources and needs more information, I’m sure Jay can figure it out.  

Carmen knows she’s stuck, so she asks if she can make a phone call. “I think that would be smart,” Diane says.  

I’ve noticed that Liz and Diane are both being quite firm with others this season—and I like it. They're spending more time with lower-level characters, and both Diane and Liz have reasons to be more curt this year. Diane is under a lot of stress and it’s showing in all of her interactions; Liz is making a point of seeming in control to establish herself as the leader of the firm.  

Then Marissa walks in. “What is going on with your crazy court judge?” Diane asks. “My?” Marissa asks. “Marissa, I am in no mood for defensiveness,” Diane insists. She mentions Wackner missing his meeting and shadowing Leah. That’s news to Marissa.  

Marissa heads to Wackner’s court to figure out what’s going on.

Wackner is now experimenting with juries. This is interesting to me—I'd wondered before how smart it was to just have Wackner make all the rulings, so exploring the idea of having a jury shows he’s thinking about that, too. Also, it’s another sign that Wackner wants his court to have many of the same structures as a real courtroom. There are still judges, juries, witnesses, trials—he's starting something new, but it feels more like he’s testing out improvements for an imperfect system. I wonder if his end goal would be to set up separate courts, or if he’s more interested in shaping laws/reforming the system? Surely Wackner has ambitions of scaling up whatever conclusions he comes to. So what are they?  

The reason for the juries is that the associates told him that juries are racially biased, so he’s trying to correct it. He also explains how he ended up shadowing Leah, and advises Marissa to go exploring whenever she’s kept waiting. (I have a feeling Marissa doesn’t need to be told this, but then, that’s why she’s Wackner’s “muse.”)  

Marissa notes that Wackner’s court is looking nicer—there must be money coming in from somewhere new. Wackner confirms there’s been a sympathetic donor.

Wackner is dealing with a case about NFT fraud. Marissa says she doesn’t know what that is. I’m going to assume that Marissa is using Wackner’s strategies against him (she had just accused him of playing dumb to get others to talk) because I cannot believe that Marissa, who always knows random facts, ESPECIALLY ones that involve weird corners of the internet, would not know what an NFT is.  

Marissa hears the case is about $4 million, and she’s shocked because this raises the stakes a little more than even she is comfortable with. Wackner has a signed and notarized document saying that both sides will honor the verdict. It is, as Marissa points out, notarized in 9 ¾ court by Wackner about a fictional case. “About a fictional crime,” Wackner adds on.  

I’m a little surprised this is all these writers had to say about NFTs! Maybe they knew that by the time this aired, the actual topic would feel dated.  

Mandy Patinkin is just SO GOOD as Wackner! I’m watching a fictional show about a fictional crime in a fictional court and even I am starting to believe in his ludicrous court!  

Wackner’s jury selection process involves catching potential jurors in traps, like pretending to know the national anthem when they don’t. Smart. Probably super problematic if you think about it too hard and put it in the wrong people’s hands and people start to know the system. But smart, for now.  

Diane is now in the sensitivity read meeting, for reasons passing understanding. They are still talking about the first joke. Jay calls Liz out of the meeting and notes that everyone in the room is old and no one is funny. “I’m funny!” Liz argues. Diane tries to leave the meeting, and Liz tells Diane Jay’s idea about needing younger people. “Oh god yes,” Diane agrees. I’m glad she sees it and a little alarmed that Liz doesn’t! I feel like they should’ve sent the tape to everyone interested in participating, then asked them to write up (separately) anything they found questionable or offensive, and gone from there, ending with a close review of anything that wasn’t previously flagged. If you debate every single line for hours you’re going to get nowhere.

I don’t know why Liz is so concerned that Jay thinks she’s not funny? But she is.

Diane asks Liz to join her meeting with Carmen and Lester. This is a scene I’ve been waiting for! Diane and Liz are both there and so the scene FEELS important. The plot advances. And, most importantly, they address why Carmen is staying at RL!

Lester reiterates that Carmen is super important to Rivi, so if Carmen says she can’t share info, then she can’t share info. Liz and Diane do not accept this. “I am a name partner. Carmen is a first-year associate,” Liz says. “Now, Carmen is free to resign and hang her shingle wherever she’d like. She can even go and work for you. That is up to her. But while she is here, she is subject to the rules and the mentoring of this firm.”

Lester tries to take Carmen out of the meeting. Liz and Diane won’t let him: They need to know if Carmen is staying with the firm, now.  

“You have a lot to learn, Carmen. And you can only do that here,” Diane pitches. I don’t think that’s exactly true, but it’s not untrue.

Here is a question I have about Carmen: she is WILLING to represent drug dealers and rapists. Does she WANT to? She chooses RL, so I’m guessing her interests lie in big law and not in aiding criminals.  

Lester leaves, but not before saying Kurt is about to get a grand jury summons. Diane gets one too. It’s not the usual guy! Too bad.

A bigger group is now deciding on if jokes are offensive or not, and they’re doing so with paddles that are red on one side (offensive) and green on the other (funny). I’m sure this is going to go well.

The group sees the replacement jokes and they are confused. Marissa wants to see the original joke. Julius shows the room, and everyone laughs. The joke is funny—and offensive. Someone from the mail room notes that he would be the butt of this joke, but he finds it funny, so he thinks the comedian should be able to continue with her set.  

Here is where I think I fall on this: Get sensitivity reads to get ahead of any huge issues (like, don’t be Pepsi with the ad with whichever Jenner it was who solved racism). Be aware of the potential issues. Let viewers decide what is and isn’t offensive, and make informed decisions rather than arbitrary rules about what content to show. You’ll KNOW if you are indulging the tendencies of someone with a history of making the same type of problematic jokes (for example, maybe if you are reviewing something by Tina Fey and she tries to write another edgy plot where racial stereotypes are the punchline, you advise her to not do that because, I mean, why WERE there so many episodes of 30 Rock that involved blackface??). You’ll KNOW if you are giving a platform to someone who is actively trying to spread misinformation and be cruel to others. Someone’s going to be offended by everything, and it may be a huge deal and it may not be. IMO, it doesn’t really matter that I can’t make an exact set of rules about what is/isn’t smart to air. I don’t think anyone—not networks, not creators, and not audiences—would benefit from that. Lawyers might, though, for all the billable hours...

“You can’t tell a joke without offending someone,” Jay notes. I do not think this is true! Puns don’t offend anyone!  

David Lee’s counter-example to Jay’s point is Gilbert & Sullivan. Of course it is.

As always, the argument devolves into overlapping chatter. These episodes exhaust me. At least this episode has some fun with the topic of the week and seems to have more of a point of view than some of the past episodes where the only conclusion is, “Wow! Controversy is controversial!”

Marissa ends up in the mail room with Jay and one of the mailroom guys (captions say his name is Jimmy). They are mocking the partner’s ideas of comedy. Jay and Jimmy agree that the best comedy is mean. But, Jay says, now it feels like you need “a permission slip to tell a joke.” Is... this true? This feels like one of those things people who would never actually get “cancelled” worry about because their fear overtakes their ability to understand what really gets someone cancelled.  

Then again, this episode was written by professional writers who would absolutely know better than I am if people are really hesitant to tell jokes.  

Jimmy has started making literal permission slips to allow people to tell jokes about specific groups. Jay and Marissa are down.  

Jay asks Jimmy to make a card for something so inappropriate he wouldn’t joke about it... and Jimmy prints a card that says Greta Thunberg. No one wants to joke about that.

And you know why this joke lands well for me? Part of it is that the vibe of this scene is very fun and laid back. But mostly it’s because Younger tried to make a Greta Thunberg joke this season, and it was quite possibly the worst, most embarrassing thing I’ve seen a TV show do in ages. It wasn’t funny, just mean, over the top, lazy, and never-ending. (Poor Younger. That show had an awful final season.)  

Liz is still worried she’s not funny. She asks Del if she’s funny and mentions Jay’s comment. He says she’s funny, but she’s not convinced he’s being honest. He points out this is a discussion no one will win. Del ends up accidentally saying “I love you” to Liz, which is a big deal for a relationship we’ve seen for all of two seconds. Liz says they don’t have to talk about it, but Del insists on explaining that he meant “affection,” not love. I’m glad they’re talking about this.

“Then maybe we should get married,” Liz says as seriously as possible. She stares at Del and smiles. He laughs and admits that was funny. It was VERY funny!  

Grand jury time! Yet Another Ham Sandwich: The Sequel: The Musical: The Series. (Am I funny? Pls tell me I’m funny and hip with the teens!)  

It’s Diane’s turn first. She does well, but there’s not much to say when Nancy plays the recording of Diane phoning the FBI with the rioter’s name. I did not need the clip from last episode in here. Diane is calm in court, but rushes to tell Kurt immediately. Nancy predicted Diane would do that, so she calls in Kurt before Diane has a chance to warn him.

So, wait, Kurt thought all of this was just a COINCIDENCE? Diane didn’t tell him earlier?! I don’t love this choice, but okay.  

Liz finds a joke permission slip on her desk. Julius has one too. “Did you use it?” Liz asks. Julius doesn’t understand what that even means. Then they trade clothes, because Liz does want to tell a joke about white girl clothes.

Julius suspects the cards are a way to make fun of the partners for being unfunny. The associates are also chatting about the cards, having lots of fun, so it’s clearly not about the partners.

I think now is an appropriate time to mention that TGW and TGF have both been consistently hilarious shows and have been on the air for a combined twelve years. Neither rely on the types of jokes that these cards permit. This is a kind of interesting thought experiment, but... doesn’t it say something that the shows never use these jokes as crutches and still manage to be funny? This is what I meant earlier about people being afraid of cancel culture when they’re not actually really at risk of coming under fire. These writers know how to write things that are funny. They know how to make comedy out of absurdity and subverting expectations. And yet they’re worried about how to have jokes that aren’t mean? Really?

The first laugh out loud funny TGW moment that comes to mind right now is the episode that ends with that obnoxious talk show guy trying to out Diane as a lesbian. That joke deals with identity. But it still holds up 12 years later, because the joke isn’t that Diane could be gay... the joke is that Diane DOES NOT GIVE A SHIT what this pest is saying about her on TV, and so she laughs. And because the tension of the talk show guy’s BIG DRAMATIC REVEAL is cut with Diane’s dynamic, loud laugh, we laugh with her! I’m not really sure what I'm trying to illustrate with this example. I’m just noting that you can be topical, funny, and entirely appropriate at the same time... and these writers are great at finding that balance.

HR starts, like, texting (they TEXT Marissa!!!) employees about the joke permission slips? It’s so bizarrely done that I thought this was going to be a prank.  

Jay decides they won’t go to HR, and Jimmy decides they’ll delay. Why wouldn’t HR just come down and take away the cards?

For this week’s dose of Wackner Wackiness, witnesses will be fully costumed, and it goes without saying that the costumes will be as over the top as possible.

David Cord is the mysterious donor. Marissa spots him and instantly puts the pieces together. Cord explains he met Wackner on the elevator. I can’t say enough how much I like that this season has a lot of moving pieces that feel like part of a whole. Cord showed up as part of a case that caused internal debate at the firm and had a thematic parallel to an ongoing plot, then crossed over into Wackner’s plot once he was established as a character!  

Cord says he’s interested in “disrupting things” so he’s interested in Wackner. I did not need the still photo of where they founded HP that’s used to illustrate humble beginnings, I guess.

Nancy mentions Kurt’s unfortunate last name—she so would. Kurt takes the fifth. Was this thing about needing a reason to take the fifth true in the earlier seasons and just not mentioned? Didn’t Kalinda and Will use this strategy?

Nancy, obviously, plays the recording of Diane reporting the rioter. Kurt conceals his reaction for the grand jury, but he’s pissed.  

Diane tries to apologize and Kurt asks for another lawyer. This is the right move. I can’t be all that sad.

The partners have collected all the cards and are trying to do damage control with HR. (Interestingly, there are certain topics the cards we see don’t touch on. Like, where’s the rape joke card? Aren’t rape jokes what we usually talk about when we talk about comedians getting cancelled? And where are the jokes about minority groups (aside from little people, referred to using the PC name instead of the names that would probably be used in most offensive jokes about little people) not represented in the TGF cast? I find this little bit of self-censorship quite notable, especially given that the writers seem to be arguing in favor of not regulating humor. These omissions, which MUST be intentional, tell me the writers do have their own lines they won’t cross...)  

(My larger point there, and where this funny-but-unnecessary subplot fails for me, is that this whole episode feels like a bit of a panic over cancel culture and winds up being a strawman argument. I don’t disagree with the conclusions the writers come to and I do find some of these scenes funny. But at the same time, I don’t think Cancel Culture is actually about coming after every single joke that makes fun of any person or group (if we must do a cancel culture plot, why not do one about someone who is an odious person and yet still has a following even after they’ve been “cancelled”). And I don’t think that showing HR as a very stern, strict, humorless body is helpful. I’m getting ahead of myself, but all that accomplishes is having Liz win on a point that pretty much everyone can agree on, because no one is actually as humorless as STRL’s HR department! Humor has so many gray areas and if you try to make it black and white, obviously the side that’s saying YOU CANNOT MAKE JOKES ABOUT ANYTHING is going to be the one that is wrong.  

I did just remember that all of these writers have probably dealt with unfun and strict standards & practices departments, and I like the way HR is portrayed more if I try to imagine them as Standards & Practices.

Liz decides she is going to see HR so she’s seen as an authority figure, not someone subversive. But first, Liz has to meet with Del and the comedian.

Wackner and Cord are in Diane’s office. Diane’s skeptical of their alliance. She also points out that it is corrupt for Wackner to be financed by Cord and decide on Cord’s cases. This is true. Cord says he has no vested interest in any of the cases. And Wackner says he’s the “most untouchable man on earth” and quotes a song again. Yet another example of how this court only works if Wackner is in charge.

The comedy meeting does not go well. David Lee is already trying to pitch their other servicces. The comedian finds the censored version hilarious in how terrible it is, and then she starts making fun of it, loudly, and for way too long.  

David thinks it went poorly; Liz isn’t concerned. David is all, “you failed” and Liz asks him to cool it and notes that David isn’t the highest-ranking person at STRL, so he should “stop the shit” and work with her. She’s already sounding more like a boss.  

Julius complements her on being “Boseman-like,” which is true (though I wish she didn’t need to be compared to her ex-husband). “I know,” Liz says quietly, likely because she hates that Adrian is still influencing her this much.  

Del joins Wackner and Cord in the elevator, and this isn’t the end of the episode but I’m going to pretend it is so all the episodes can end on elevators this year. It’s close enough.

Kurt’s new lawyer is Julius. Ah, yes, choose the corrupt judge Trump pardoned who works at your wife’s firm to represent you. Seems smart.  

Liz walks past Diane’s office and the camera follows her up to HR. She tries to get HR to understand humor. They do not. And that’s the episode.

So, a few thoughts to conclude. First, I went into this recap thinking I’d have a lot more to say about cancel culture and the way this episode handled the debate. But I ended up liking this plot—and this episode-- more the second time around. I still don’t think this episode said anything groundbreaking about cancel culture, because I don’t think it actually engaged with the topic beyond the surface. As I noted earlier, coming to the conclusion that jokes should be allowed because we’re all human isn’t really a resolution the real topic. What about accountability? What about allowing for some jokes to be too far without taking the teeth out of every joke? What about the way people panic over cancel culture when they’re not being canceled (this episode felt a little bit like a panic over cancel culture, which is why I reacted negatively to it the first time through) or about how cancellation doesn’t always stick or have meaning? There is SOMETHING to explore here, but I don’t think this episode found that something.  

Second, because I didn’t find a way to work it in above... is it me, or is it actually HELPING the show to not have Adrian or Lucca around!? This season feels so much more focused than the past several, and I think it might be because the writers (who are, as always, very good at adapting to curveballs) had to restructure the show. Lucca always had her own subplots that were separate from everything else, and Adrian’s charisma tended to overpower others’ presence (especially Liz’s) whenever he was in the room. It didn’t help that the writers seemed to LOVE writing Adrian plots, even if it meant neglecting others.  

Don’t get me wrong—I love Adrian and Lucca both. But there’s something to be said for a tighter show with three main interconnected pieces (Liz/firm drama, Diane/FBI and Kurt, Marissa/Wackner’s court) that carry over from episode to episode. Like the titles of the season, these episodes build on each other.  

Also, there’s the right amount of every character this season. David Lee is used sparingly; Jay and Julius are supporting players who sometimes get the spotlight; Wackner is a huge presence but his plot feels like part of the show; Carmen feels important but isn’t being given screentime for the sake of screentime; Liz is finally the type of lead she should’ve been from the start; Marissa has nicely grown into a role closer to leading than supporting; Diane remains a clear lead.  

5x05 next week!!! I am expecting some Hitting the Fan level quality and at least one fan-service-y reference. (Not really, but wouldn’t it be fun?)  

#tgfthoughts #the good fight

[tintentrinkerin]

Cathartic Arrest

Rating: Mature

Relationships: Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester

Characters: Michael (Supernatural), Minor Characters

Additional Tags: Post-Hell Dean Winchester, Post-Lucifer’s Cage Sam Winchester, Dubious Consent, Caning, Codependent Winchesters (Supernatural), It’s all about inflicting and receiving punishment, Jealousy

Summary: ”Sam needs to cope with memories of Lucifer’s abuse. Dean is still trying to cope with this time as torture Master in Hell.

And he’s JEALOUS.”

Word Count 1,793

READ HERE OR ON AO3

Sam was still shaking when he got back to the bunker. He had taken his time before he came back home, but still. This time, it had all been different. She had to help him back into his pants, his shirt, even tuck his shirt in, help him ground himself; when he still didn’t come down from what just happened, she made him sit in her “calm room” as she called it. 

She gave him food, good food. Fruits. Pineapple, strawberries, vanilla infused yoghurt. Juices of passion fruit and apples, bread with butter and some lean chicken tenders. He could choose whatever music he wanted, but all he ever would choose was hard rock – the music of his childhood, part of his youth and part of Dean. The music in his ears, usually is of a different, much more intense nature. He’d tried pop. One Direction. Too happy. He’d tried Nu Metal. He was too old to bounce back into his emo stage, also known as his years at Stanford. He had tried all kinds of metal. Trash, Death, Melodic, Symphonic. Nightwish. Later Aesthetic Perfection. All good music, quality wise. But nothing was ever louder than the noises in his head. The crying of baby Sam Winchester, inner-child Sam Winchester. Traumatized and angry and helpless. 

Only the noise of a cane meeting his skin, his ass, his legs, even his feet, his own painful cries, the muffled grunts, the thank you’s and the yes'es, the reenactment of his shame, would silence the child. It’d been rough today. The wax on his chest left pink swollen spots, the cane beat him bloody this time.

“I can stop, aye?” she said. 

“No, Mistress. Don’t. I want it to bleed.”

She’s not his Domme and he’s not her slave. He isn’t that twisted in his mind to reenact the power exchange, his own powerlessness. Michael watching. Michael. That god forsaken coward.

Sam was still shaking when he started Baby’s engine, slowly rolling away from the place he visits when pressing on his scar stops working. And it’s been working less and less and less. Until nothing else will help but being beaten up by someone to finally overcome the pain, the helplessness, the feeling of being weak and useless. Sam Winchester might be broken, but he still can take a beating without crying.

Dean hates liars. Which is kind of, let’s say  hypocritical, given his nature, his past. He lied to Sam about hell, he lied about the deal, he constantly lies to the only person who will probably never leave him. Because even if Sam does leave, he always comes back. He won’t even die for good. Dean doesn’t, Sam doesn’t. They’re here, two moons in this earth’s gravitational pull, doomed to circle each other; the forces of nature keeping them in place but always keeping them apart. 

It's one of those days when Sam says he’s about to go jogging, but since when does he have to drive fifty miles to some secluded forest area to jog when they're in the literal middle of nowhere? Dean has seen Sam in the showers. They have their privacy here, both want that or pretend to, but the showers are group showers, long lines of shower heads like in school gyms. They usually lock the doors, so why, this one time, does Sam not lock himself up like he used to? Dean knows about the nightmares, the triggers, the sudden flashbacks and the pressing of Sam’s thumb against the palm of his cut hand. He noticed cuts, deep cuts around Sam’s wrists, that never heal because he keeps on scratching off the scab. The bleeding never stops. 

Dean decides that today, enough is enough. He knows this trauma, he was in Hell too. He tortured innocent people, he tortured Bela fucking Talbot. A woman he really respected in the end, though he sugar coated it with cunt-y behaviour. He’s seen so many faces twisted in pain and agony – and all they do in the end? – cry for mama. They cry for their fucking mother, and Sam? Dean wonders who he cried for in the Cage?

Sam is packed up in his “jogging outfit” and he’s about to leave, when Dean gets up from his armchair in the library.

“Where ya goin’, Sammy?”

He jumps.

“Jesus, don’t scare me, man. Really? I’m going jogging.”

“There’s a whole ass forest in front of the batcave, Sam. Why not go there?”

Sam looks down and Dean knows, he’s angry. He’s angry because Dean caught him in his damn lie and there’s no good way out of it.

“I have a jogging buddy over there,” Sam clears his throat, his whole body is tense. Ready to run. Wherever.

“Ah, jogging buddy, I see. Lemme guess, their name is Mistress Lana and he looks bomb in tracksuits.”

Sam is about to erupt and he grows, his posture straightens and he yells. “This is private Dean, you have no, absolutely NO right to spy after me like a--”

“Like a what?”

“Like a fucking jealous wife who caught me in an affair?”

Dean falls silent, but his body, pure, condensed power, anger, fear, slams his arm against Sam’s throat and presses him to the wall. 

“It is exactly like that. You drive an hour to see a dominatrix, to what? You become a subby bootlicker all of a sudden? You like that?”

Sam’s nostrils flare and damn, now Dean is on freakin’ thin ice. He is so goddamn jealous of this woman giving Sam something that Dean would give him freely. And happily. He would give him the relief he needs. 

“Don’t talk like that!” Sam hisses, trying to wind himself out of Dean’s grip but he’s still sore from the last time Lana tied him up like a Christmas present and hung him on the wall like a pig-half at the butcher’s. Sam loved the marks of the rough rope, loved the feeling of just hanging there, floating, the ground beneath him so far away, the rock bottom so far…“You have no idea how I feel!”

Dean’s head tilts to the side. “I tortured people in Hell, Sam. I know how to make you feel the worst pain of your life – but I can also give you the greatest relief. I can show you mercy, because that’s what you really want. Isn’t it?”

Sam finally breaks free and attacks Dean, one hit after another, breaks Dean’s nose, gives him a black eye, and it only stops when Dean lands a blow right over Sam’s kidney – he staggers back. 

“I deserve the pain,” Sam wheezes. “I don’t rely on anyone’s mercy.”

Dean drags him up and brings Sam, who is suddenly so pliant, to his room. What no one has ever known about is the secret door. Dean’s not a witch, Sam would be a great one, but Dean managed to hide a tiny little torture chamber behind his room. Sam fights,  he insults Dean. Dean knows, yes he knows, it’s Sam’s way of provoking him and, kind of, making Dean stop. 

Sam knows that, when he came back from Hell, Dean fucked around even more than before he’d died –but no one ever saw him with the girls, the submissive ones, the broken little dolls he found. This is Deam’s coping. Reenacting Hell.

Sam clings on to Dean when he’s tied to the bench, naked. Sam is still black and blue, some of his bruises had turned green-yellowish already but no one should hurt him there again. These bruises would take ages to heal, if they’re lucky, without a doctor needed. Sam isn’t fighting anymore, he’s crying.

“Please Dean, take it off of me. Please… I can’t… Take it OFF!”

“I can’t”, Dean says, gently, brushing away Sam’s tears.“Does she fuck you?”

A gasp. “What? Why--?”

“Simple question, Sammy. Does. She. Fuck you?”

Sam nods, hiding his face in his hair and pressing his forehead against the padding.

“I can’t spank you in this condition. You have to heal. Why would you go to that woman when you’re still so roughed up?”

“Why do you care?”Sam’s voice is so thin. Little, scared Sammy, and there was no one in the Cage to save him from what happened. 

“Sammy.” Is all Dean says.

“My Sammy.”

Dean is not like that. He loves Sammy, and he would do a lot, but he won’t do That.

Dean’s favorite is his cane. Rattan. Unpeeled. Sam endures several hard blows, in a staccato, a rhythm other people would faint from. But Sammy is strong, and he wants to be broken.

HE

WANTS

TO 

BE

BROKEN

And Dean is giving him that. He can think of the girls and boys in Hell while doing it, like he’s not the one inflicting this pain on Sam, but it feels so damn good. Purging. Sam’s cries and whimpers, his yells and finally, finally, when Dean is about to lose control and maul Sam alive – there’s the one Sammy would cry for.

“Dean.”

A gasp. The blows stop. Blood dripping down Sam’s legs. 

“Dean.”

Again.

“Sammy..”

So gentle. So tender. So silent. 

“Dean, I want to go home….” and that is truly when Sam is broken, the last bastion of his mind, his pride, his goddamn pride is stripped from him. He babbles, he cries, snot and tears and gulps, he even chokes on his cries. “I want to be home with Dean, please hold me, Dean, take me home, Dean…”

Dean dissolves. His own trauma resolves for a minute. He knows, it will never fully go away, he will never heal. But.

“Sammy. I’m here, Sammy. Come here. I’ll take you home, my baby brother. I’m here.”

“Dean, I love you”, Sam chokes out. It could be anything. It could be nothing.

“Sammy, I love you more.”

Dean leans onto Sam’s heaving, still tied up body, sweat and blood, tears, the sobs. When Dean releases Sam from the restraints and carries him to a sofa, he huddles up in Dean's lap. Like a newborn. Overwhelmed with the world outside, sobbing and crying for Dean. Dean is here, holding him tight. Offering him water and more blankets.

Lucifer has never been closer, but Dean has blown him away from Sam. He made Sam just forget for a while. It’s so fucked up, but he can live with fucked up. As long as it’s with Sam and Sam never, fucking never, goes to a whore again when he can have everything from Dean.

Dean will do anything for Sam. 

“Dean…”

“I’m here. You’re home.”

»And I will never let you go.«

@laxe-chester67 @deanking @vulgar-library @writethelifeyouwant @itsabookishblog @schaefchenherde @sacrificialtendencies @cloudesworld @all-4-wincest @ohnoitsthebat @rpsocsandcanonohmy @stemroses @nightmarecait @lostmykiliel @alexa-alcantara @wincestismyheart @closetedshippers @dragonardhill @alex-is-a-gay-human

IF YOU WANT TO BE INCLUDED IN MY MAILING LISTS, SHOOT ME A MESSAGE <3

#wincest #sam and dean #hell trauma #cage trauma #sin is sinning

[terrence-silver]

Thanks so much for your sweet tags on my story! I love all the content you provide us and I can't help myself but request more Terry from you. How about. . .Terry trying to seduce Reader, but Reader is oblivious and thinks they're just best friends.

@atmostories thank you so much, this one is for you 🖤

---

This never happened before.

And he’s had his conquests. Yes. He once spent several years after he returned from Vietnam and got his Business and Masters Degree just travelling Europe and fucking around. Quite literally speaking. He had the looks to pull it off. He had the charm. He had the means and the money. Also, it was the 70′s and he needed to blow some steam off and make up for all the years lost in the war and after his parents died. But, what he never had before is someone being daft enough not to realize that when a man arranges to see you in his own private steam room sauna (which you didn’t even realize he owned, naturally - hiding the truth in plain sight) with nothing but a towel on and a bottle of champagne and two glasses that it’s supposed to mean something. How does one not understand the implications? Were you playing hard to get? Did you enjoy people working a bit more then usual for you due to some sort of abandonment issues? Was he simply losing his touch? Was this some sort of mind game? Were you somehow manipulating him for covert reasons he couldn’t quite read yet? No. No, you weren’t. Terry Silver could spot a shady, two-faced individual when he saw one (he’d know, from personal experience) and you weren’t one.

You were just - you.

Happy and friendly and cheerful and just normal. He wouldn’t call you insecure. Wouldn’t call you terribly secure either. Were you one of those people who didn’t believe they were loveable to anyone? Did you just subconsciously reject all offered affection because you didn’t believe you were deserving of it? Were you afraid? Did you have a traumatic childhood? Were you abused by someone before and who’s neck did he have to snap? Was he psychoanalyzing you too much? Terry Silver was just horrendously annoyed with you for the longest time now. It’s like you were a shut book he couldn’t read. So open, yet so unavailable. And he’s tried practically everything under the sun. He’s called you beautiful. He complemented you. Occasionally brushed against you. Smiled at you. Acted beyond polite. Beyond sweet. Was always there for you, close by, for whatever and whenever. Once or twice went as far as attempting to invoke your lust first if he couldn’t your affection and just straight-up untying the upper part of his gi and pretending to stretch out after a long training session, hoping to impress you with his physique and the sweat lining his muscles. He worked hard to look like this.

You politely looked away and excused yourself out.

Giving him privacy.

Privacy!?

-”Be careful, don’t catch a cold like that. Could be dangerous.”-

You jovially mentioned with care on your way out of the dojo training hall leaving him to stand there with a naked torso, waving him an idle goodbye, not looking back as not to make him uncomfortable by peeking - no irony, no sarcasm, nothing suggestive, no meanspirited joking in your tone of voice - just genuinely good-natured concern for his health, well-being and the utmost respect for his bodily autonomy. Honestly - fuck you. First of all, you were in LA and it was the asphalt was searing mid-summer, how the heck is he gonna catch a cold? Second of all, not even John treated him with this much detached friendliness and that was actually his friend. Even John was more touchy-feely, close and warm with him just by nature of being. This was ridiculous. In fact, it was outrageous. What was he even supposed to do next? Show up in your bedroom, just lay down and wait for you to arrive? Knowing you, you’d no doubt be absolutely okay with him chastely sleeping over and you’d probably borrow him your pillow and tuck him in too and just go to rest in the other room with not a care in the world.

How could a person like that even exist?

Did you have eyes?

Maybe he just wasn’t your type. But then again, highly improbable, Terry Silver was nearly everyone’s type and if he wasn’t, he’d make himself be their type. He’d get under their skin and make them believe he was their type even if they didn’t believe themselves initially. Oh, the idea though - the idea of not being your type. Why did it fill him with so much - well - resentment? Anger, almost? Loathing? Why was there a pit deep in his belly swallowing all his pity, patience and understanding for you like an ever-expanding crater of darkness? Why did he want to take whatever kind of person you were into a just rip them to shreds until nothing worthy admiration and attraction remained? Just degrade them, hurt them and destroy them until there was nothing to love anymore? He’s been at this game for over a year now. Over a year. In his kind of life, a year was an eternity. Two was just flat-out embarrassing. Stock-markets crash, companies go bankrupt and he makes his next million. He never spent a year trying to get anyone to like him for amorous purposes. And this beating around the bush would end today.

After much self-reflection and pondering.

Consultations from everyone starting from Margaret.

Milos, Snake, Dennis and even Mike Barnes, horribly enough.

Terry decided to pull out the big L.

Because really, who could resist a confession of love, strictly strategically speaking? It was a move worthy of the Art of War. Even when not mutual (and he’d make sure it would be by any means necessary) if anything, the other person would be flattered. Put off guard. Confused. Amused at best. Literally anything but the putrid, disgusting, disturbing sense of flat-line familial kinship you’ve endued him with against his will. He wasn’t your dad. He wasn’t your brother. He wasn’t your cousin. He wasn’t your friend. Your acquittance. Don’t you realize what he wanted to do with you? He wanted to possess you whole and make you scream on every surface in every chamber of his 100 room house and keep repeating that forever and ever and ever until you live through nothing but him. How dare you? The thought of not winning. The thought of just being rejected by your obliviousness. It brought him so close to the edge of breaking out of the weak, saccharine, nonsensical, subdued character he constructed for himself. It brought him so painfully close. Just shedding his facade and taking what he wanted in the crudest, foulest way possible - it would be so easy. So easy. At this point he was insulted.

But he held back for your sake.

He didn’t even understand why he’d care to.

Why he’d care not to frighten, repulse or push you away.

Usually, that would be his most preferred part of the game.

Not now, though.

Why?

Why he’d even begin to care to read all the possible moods etched into your face, bother with the levels of your comfort and discomfort to make the setup perfect, natural, soft and intimate and just say the words as gently and with as emotion as humanly possible without trying to come off too strongly? Which is exactly what he did. Upon which your reaction was to merely smile blissfully (disappointing) just tap him on the shoulder (even more disappointing), give it a fond little squeeze like you would your favourite coworker during lunchbreak (unimaginably disappointing) and just respond with a casual and off-puttingly, wretchedly non-chalant;

-”Yeah, sure, I love you too.”-

Yeah, sure!?

Sure!?

You kept eating the ice cream he’s bought you.

Unphased, unbothered, unaware and dumb as a rock.

Terry Silver was just stunned for the rest of the evening.

In ways he doesn’t quite recall being in, well - ever.

Did you just confess to loving him as a friend?

To his face?

And he let you survive that?

Alright then. It was decided there and then. He wanted to strangle you. Yes. But he’d leave that for another time. For now, he’d say goodbye to you in good humor and cheer like he always did and leave this unfortunate, hideous fiasco of a night behind him even though you (of course) appeared to be legitimately enjoying yourself. The next time you meet him, he’ll be himself. His actual self. None of this sugary, flowery, tame tip-toeing around the substance of things. No more sparing you. No more patience. No more waiting. No more going soft on you. No more trying to tenderly, slowly ease you into things. No. If ordinary, commonplace, humble Terry was someone you considered a mere friend - a best friend, to make things doubly offensive - the actual, real Terry wasn’t going to accept that. The actual, real Terry took whatever he wanted whenever he wanted. The actual, real Terry wasn’t lenient, merciful or even remotely open to rejection. And this was all your fault. All of it. You could have had the nice, kind, darling, innocent, angelic Terry who takes you out on cute little walks, asks permission to hold your hand gingerly and buys you ice cream and smiles charmingly at you with the widest, fullest grin he could possibly manage. You wanted the other guy instead, didn’t you? You pushed his hand. Forced it even.

He went to his actual home that night despite the risk of it.

The hills overlooking the shimmering skyline of the city.

You knew this place, without realizing you knew it.

He burned all his pretend-clothes -

On the embers of a lit cigar.

And seething with cold rage -- 

He decided to re-introduce himself to you.

They say honesty was the best policy, after all.

#terry silver #karate kid 3 #cobra kai #yandere #request #writing an angry terry is the most amusing thing of all times #he just keeps getting progressively more and more pissed off

[the-kiwi-is-not-a-pewee]

Emmy.

This is a callout post about discord user emmy, known for now as @eurydices-flower on tumblr, and her nasty behavior regarding her joining and then leaving a specific Riordanverse fan discord server. I don’t usually make callout posts but this needs to be addressed since she has vagueposted about my friends and been rude to them over DMs. I don’t believe she should be allowed to run around and make accusations, especially with people not able to find part of the story due to it being over private messages. So, with the permission of the friend whom she sent DMs to, I will outline her brief stay in the server and the aftermath.

It’s time you heard our side of the story.

Emmy (which is how I will be referring to her for the duration of this post), joined the Trials of Apollo (ToA) server on July 6th, 2020.

For the sake of chronicling how we know that she is also @eurydices-flower on tumblr, she says as much in her self-introduction in the #introduction channel of the server.

Emmy was in the server for less than 24 hours, before leaving voluntarily with seemingly no explanation. Naturally, we were confused and one of our own reached out to emmy on her tumblr blog to ask why she left. I blacked out the profile picture and url of my friend’s blog for the sake of their own privacy.

Let us go over this, piece by piece.

“yeah i’m alright i just realized constant negativity wasn’t rlly my game at the moment and i don’t necessarily have the headspace to ever deal with that.”

That is fair, she is encouraged to look after herself and her own mental state first. If she felt like leaving was the best course of action to take for the sake of herself, then she should not be judged for that. And it’d be perfectly fine if she left it at that! But, of course, I wouldn’t be making this post if she did.

“everyone’s entitled to be everyones own opinion but to bash other people you don’t even know for having opinions was too much for me to handle. a lot of those blogs are good friends of mine and it truly is disrespectful to harp on anyone for having different opinions but go around and spread negativity when others don’t agree with with that opinion.”

Regarding the first part, “everyone’s entitled to be everyones own opinion but to bash other people you don’t even know for having opinions was too much for me to handle”, there’s nothing wrong with this statement as it is on the surface-level. She is expressing that she personally does not want to partake in that particular kind of discourse. That is fine, she is not obligated to in any way, shape, or form. Though I do have a comment or three about the statement before we move on.

She could have muted the specific channel where that kind of discourse was taking place, which as far as I’m aware she never did. The ToA server has 2 specific channels for pjo discourse because members were uncomfortable with it being spread sporadically throughout the server, thus those two channels were made to contain discourse. If she was truly made uncomfortable by what she stated, she could have rectified that problem herself instead of leaving. But, after all, it was her choice to make in the end.

“but to bash other people you don’t even know for having opinions was too much for me to handle”Uh, welcome to tumblr Emmy? I don’t know if Emmy meticulously vets her tumblr experience so that she literally never encounters people bashing other people they don’t even know for their opinions, but it makes it a rather ironic statement considering tumblr’s reputation and that she has a tumblr blog. Heck, it’s not even unique to tumblr, it’s more of a social media thing. I can only postulate that maybe it made her more uncomfortable in a more confined and private space like a discord server, but I cannot be sure. Given she joined at the height of the Ace! Reyna discourse and the “opinions” she’s referring to are likely the aphobic rhetoric spouted by people who were astonishingly upset that Reyna was not a lesbian, I personally am rather uncomfortable that she dumbed it down as if it were merely “having an opinion” and not an attempt to invalidate ace representation in a mainstream media book series just because they were upset that they hadn’t gotten exactly what they wanted.

She retrospectively made herself a hypocrite. I’ll put a pin in this for now and we’ll come back to it.

“A lot of those blogs are good friends of mine and it truly is disrespectful to harp on anyone for having different opinions but go around and spread negativity when others don’t agree with that opinion.”

There’s quite a bit to unpack here just in this one sentence. First of all, no one in the server knew she was acquainted with any of the blogs we were discoursing about. She never stated such at any point prior to this point. We didn’t know, and thus we could not even consider accommodating her before she left in this regard.

I’ve already expressed my own views on her dumbing down people spouting aphobic rhetoric to them merely having “different opinions”, but the server was not “spreading negativity” unless you define “negativity” as calling out people for their aphobic rhetoric and frankly disrespectful treatment of Reyna as a character as a whole. It’s not as beautiful and simple as “others don’t agree with that opinion” when said opinion promotes aphobia and tries to claim that lesbian Reyna somehow cannot peacefully coexist with asexual Reyna.

“I mean no disrespect to anyone in that server when saying that or this but i just truly hope you all emotionally grow as people one day and learn to be more respectful <3 <3”

This… whole line has the basic energy of “No offense but *proceeds to say something offensive*”. Emmy basically went, “I mean no disrespect but *proceeds to say something disrespectful*”. It’s especially rude that she told us that she hopes we “all emotionally grow as people one day and learn to be more respectful <3 <3” when she was the one that came into the server in the first place. Furthermore none of us owe our respect to the people that got so mad over a fictional character not being exactly what they wanted that they have to belittle and attempt to downplay ace representation. It’s not Emmy’s place to tell us to “emotionally grow” and “learn to be more respectful”, especially when in the aftermath she doesn’t put her money where her mouth is.

“Blacked out user: Ah I see. If I may ask, what differing opinion were you being bashed for?

Emmy: not me personally but to see the rr crit circus chat (Note: one of the discourse channels) filled with other people doing it to people not even IN the chat was what bugged me”

Has emmy never been in a discord server with a discourse channel? This is a legitimate question, because this is not behavior unique to the ToA server. All of the servers I’ve seen with channels specifically for discourse have done this. This isn’t some kind of uniquely shitty thing that the ToA server does that we should be morally ashamed of, especially when something similar goes on with people on tumblr posting screenshots of tweets.

“but also when i entered and said i didn’t have opinions on litpollo or medea and i was immediately kinda made fun of for it didn’t make me feel good, as well as saying i was ace and ppl going “oMG the LESBOPhObIa. again i hope y’all just grow emotionally and mentally <3”

Here’s what happened (different colored bars mean different users):

Now, despite the fact that the “r u human” in response to Emmy saying she doesn’t ship litpollo and the “i bet u r not ace u r just LESBWEEN CODED” are jokes, I do understand why those statements made Emmy uncomfortable. Emmy was a newcomer and not acclimated to the sense of humor of the server and to basically shove her the butt end of it was not fair to her. The latter joke especially would be difficult to swallow if Emmy didn’t know that an inside joke of the server at the time was mocking the people who insisted that making Reyna ace was a lesophobic act on Rick’s part despite Trials of Apollo as a series having three lesbian major characters (Emmie, Jo, and Lavinia). 

In simple terms, I agree with my friend’s reply and the apology they gave on the server’s behalf. Emmy did deserve that apology. Doesn’t make the “i hope y’all just grow emotionally and mentally <3” any less rude or unwarranted though.

As far as any of us were aware, this was the end of it. Emmy was a bit rude but we had our closure and as far as any of us knew the ToA server and Emmy had parted ways. And then this happened.

This post has since been deleted by Emmy herself, but before it disappeared it was archived by myself and other friends reblogging to respond to it.

It doesn’t name myself or any of my friends directly, but since we were quite vocal about calling people out for their aphobia when Reyna was revealed to be ace, it is assumed we were the target of the post or are at least part of the group that is the target for the post. If it is indeed the former it seems Emmy is vagueposting about us. Even if it’s not specifically about us, it’s not a good look for Emmy. Let’s parse this apart.

“funny how the people yelling aphobia when it came to Reyna were dead silent today when Rick went on twitter and was blatantly racist and disrespectful”

There’s several reasons why people weren’t addressing Rick’s tweets that day. Some of us don’t use twitter/don’t follow Rick on twitter. Some of us don’t check the #rickriordan tag or other tags like it. Some of us have other main fandoms that are not pjo. Some of us don’t follow blogs that reblogged the tweets and the responses to the tweets, or hadn’t reblogged them yet. Some of us might want to first watch the responses to the tweets because we are not Cherokee, Muslim, or educated enough about those topics beforehand and not dig ourselves into a hole. Just saying, just because we didn’t give an immediate response doesn’t mean we didn’t care.

“funny how they only care about representation when it applies to them and them alone”

Does Emmy know that plenty of non-ace people were defending ace Reyna? If she wants an example, I’m a bisexual woman and I’ve been vocal in my defense of ace Reyna. So her logic that “they only cared when the rep applied to them and them alone” falls apart.

“funny how they only cared Reyna was ace because it gave them the opportunity to harrass the lesbians who were hurting”

I don’t condone harassment but calling them out for their aphobic behavior was not harassment. They couldn’t express their hurt without belittling asexual representation and lacking so much self-awareness that they couldn’t realize how aphobic they were being. I’m sorry that they don’t have my respect for that- actually, you know what, I’m not sorry for it. They literally chained themselves to the concept of Lesbian Reyna and would not accept anything else, that’s their own fault. Just because you’re hurt doesn’t give you the excuse to be an asshole to other LGBTQ+ people that did get representation.

"it’s almost,,, almost like you don’t actually care about these characters or color! that you just want the opportunity to clown and be bullies and abusive”

This is a very rich statement considering those “hurting lesbians” she referred to didn’t care about Reyna as a character. They only cared about Lesbian Reyna and nothing else. Some of them mixed up ace and aro showing stunning ignorance on the difference between asexuality and aromance. And now they’re playing victim because they got called out.

“if you want marginalized groups like asexuals to be represented, where’s your energy for pipers representation and characterization? samirah? where’d it go?”

Heroes of Olympus has been out for years. There have already been posts on tumblr before detailing the flaws in how Rick wrote Samirah and Piper, it’s not a new phenomenon. It just had a resurgence recently. Heroes of Olympus is old news so it’s not as fresh and hot as it was when it first came out so of course while discussions over the representation in it are still going on it has mostly calmed down until recently.

“i see you. i’m watching you. you said nothing. not a single word. not even a messy reblog of one (1) post about piper or sam. dead. Silence.”

Emmy gets a little creepy here and slightly stalkery. She doesn’t like us yet she’s watching our blogs? I guess the Blog Police is here. If you don’t reblog discourse posts about how Samirah and Piper were represented you’ll be arrested and pegged as a racist.

No one is obligated to reblog posts about Samirah and Piper. It’s not reflective of their feelings towards Piper and Sam. it’s THEIR blog and they are not obligated to reblog what others want them to. I hate to break it to Emmy but she can’t force people to reblog the stuff she wants to see.

“i don’t care if you think you ‘shouldn’t have a voice in this’ bc ur white or smth. there’s a difference between spreading posts about this terrible situation and trying to butt in with ‘i’m white but here’s my opinion’“

And here we finally circle back to the retroactive hypocrite point I put a pin in earlier. Here’s a refresher: “everyone’s entitled to be everyones own opinion but to bash other people you don’t even know for having opinions was too much for me to handle. a lot of those blogs are good friends of mine and it truly is disrespectful to harp on anyone for having different opinions but go around and spread negativity when others don’t agree with with that opinion.”

And yet she bashes people she doesn’t know and spreads negativity for… possibly having a different opinion than the ones going around right now or not interacting with it for their own personal reasons. Also not everyone who didn’t immediately jump on the Samirah/Piper rep analysis reblogs were white. Assuming people are white will eventually bite you on the ass.

After that post, she continued vagueposting on her own blog.

I seriously doubt she was sent an anonymous death threat because a friend of mine checked her account earlier that same morning she made that post and the Anon feature was turned off. Then, in the evening, she posted about having an Anonymous death threat sent to her without any proof. I’m not saying it’s not possible nor do I condone death threats, but I do have reason to disbelieve her.

IF she is still referring to her brief stay in the ToA server as that “scenario”, then she neglects to say that she did not tell anyone that she was uncomfortable until after she left. We are not mindreaders, we cannot tell when every single person we talk to is uncomfortable. So it can at least partially be held against you, Emmy, for a failure to communicate with us.

And finally, the straw that broke the camel’s back for me.

This DM was sent to a friend of mine, the same friend that reached out to Emmy following her departure from the ToA server. I can only assume that the post she is referring to is the one I covered earlier, prior to the “anon death threat” post. Let’s parse through this again.

“hi love! i noticed you unfollowed me around the time i made my post calling you and other’s silence on piper and samirahs blatant mistreatment today.”

Wow, you know what, scratch what I said earlier about assuming that the post was directed at me and my friends, Emmy basically confirmed it from her own mouth. Nice to get the ambiguity out of the way right off the bat. Also she’s seriously DMing my friend just because they unfollowed her? And assuming it was because of the post? She can’t definitively connect the two dots but if that was indeed the reason my friend unfollowed her I certainly can’t blame them. Especially given that this was Emmy’s response.

“i hope you realize you’re blatantly racist and just all around a terrible person for harping on the wlw community for being upset about their bad representationk because you had ace representation but don’t use the same energy for the people hurting that they don’t have native or muslim representation.”

It’s spelled “representation”, Emmy. Also the pjo wlw community was upset that REYNA was NOT a LESBIAN, not that they had bad representation. That was their whole salt. As a wlw myself, being upset about bad representation doesn’t give you an excuse to put down ace representation which a lot of them were doing. They have THREE lesbian characters in Rick’s books so far.

Also I thought the issue Emmy took with us was that we weren’t reblogging posts breaking down Rick’s tweets or pointing out the flaws in Samirah and Piper’s portrayal in the books. And now she’s talking about posting about people hurting because they don’t have Native American or Muslim representation? Which is it Emmy, you are sending mixed signals.

“i hope you educate yourself and realize you and the entire community that kept their silence are truly acting terrible right now. thank you.”

This is… extremely rich coming from the asexual who implied she has aphobic friends. I hope she educates her friends and realizes her and the entire community who bashed the choice to make Reyna asexual are truly acting terrible right now. Though given how she put the wlw on a pedestal and turned a blind eye to how aphobic they were acting I don’t have hope. The hypocrisy when she says that my friend is “truly acting terrible right now” when my friend dared to just unfollow her.

And that is how I will close this. She is still posting about the server on her own blog but that is everything major that has happened so far. On behalf of my friend, don’t harass emmy or send her death threats. I may not respect her, but I certainly don’t condone harassment or death threats. 

She is only 15, according to her own blog, but it does not excuse her behavior towards my friends. Being a minor doesn’t exclude you from being a shitty person.

#pjo #percy jackson #rick riordan #rickriordan #discourse #emmy discourse #callout

[thesunwillshineonusagain757]

Reasons why I don’t like Beward/ Bedward/ Bellward

Not my gifs

Disclaimer: My intentions with this post are to expose what I thing about this ship . In no way, shape , or form do I intend to offend those who ship it . If you like it , who am I to tell you that you are a bad person for it , right ? But I wanted to put out there some of my thought so here it goes . ( and sorry this is a giant of a post )

He is old and she is underaged :

I know what you are going to say . But she isn’t underaged for the whole saga . But still he fell in love with a high schooler and he is safely more than 80, seeing that he says that Carlisle transformed him when he had got Spanish flu, and let me tell you . Spanish flu had three major waves , and the three of them were during the First World War so he was probably 20 when he was turned and he was turned in between 1914-1918 , that makes him at least 110 years old , and he is in love with an underaged school girl ... Let’s just say if he looked his age people would assume he had far different intentions with her .

Bella emotionally toys with both of the guys :

Then we will enter in this part of the conversation, Bella is a girl who literally has two supernatural beings at her feet, two men who claim themselves to be attracted to her, and Bella clearly decides very early on in being with one of the guys by the end of the first book, however, several times during the narrative of the series, she oscillates between the two even going so far as to ask that the other romantic interest kisses her when she is clearly in a serious relationship with the other man. I font know about you but for me she is coming across as quite shady and not in the good way .

Edwars is always jealous:

It is no secret that half of the conflicts in the twilight series revolve around the love triangle, and the ultra-ciumese attitudes of vampire Edward. If I had to count the amount of times Edward expresses his extreme jealousy towards Bella because of her relationship with her friends , but specially mister Jacob the wolfboy , I wouldn’t have enough hands . In my opinion a good relationship is based on trust you trust your partner , you must trust the people you love . “If you love it set I free”. But that is quite the opposite what mister Cullen does . He is overbearing and seems to not know th definition of boundaries. You may thing it’s him just being old school but for someone who has been around for so long , he might have to change his mind a bit. You also may justify that by saying it’s just because he love her , but let me tell you many of the approaches he takes to ensure her “ safety” are very in line with the actions of abusers .

The lack of respect :

Edward stalks Bella, he breaks into her room unbeknownst to her and follows her to the city when she goes out shopping, clearly not respecting her personal space or respecting her privacy. His justification is that she is so hopeless that she cannot look after herself, showing that he doesn’t even respect her judgement as poor as it may be, he literally treats her as if her brains of made of gummy bears. True, he ends up saving her from being assaulted but that doesn’t justify the stalking in the first place. If anyone breaks into your house to watch you sleep, you fucking call the cops! That’s not romantic, it’s creepy as hell and motherfucking terrifying.

Edward makes decision Bella just tags along:

Talking about gummy bear brain , Edward makes some big ass decision without even consulting Bella first . For example he end their relationship , without an explanation , and totally ghosts her after that . But not limiting himself to that he also shoved her into a car on the first movie and drove away with her because he put her in danger in the first place . She couldn’t tell her family where she was , she couldn’t go home because he would let her and she was scared . That is some major red flangs you don’t do that because you love someone you do that because you see them as your property.

The need they have for each other :

Listen healthy relationships are based on the affection that you have for someone , but that affection cannot be as crippling as the one they have . That is not love it’s callled obsession and is as far from healthy as it could be . The line where he says “ you are my life now” just comes to show that those two do not have a healthy relationship where they can distinguish themself from their significant other. Where they have a personally that is fully developed and being in love with each other is not personally trait .

It is the perfect example of a toxic relationship being disguised as a romance story:

Let’s face the music , this relationship has to many signs and red flags , to be considered anything but a toxic relationship . Bella, the main character, displays three characteristics common to victims of violent relationships. The first and perhaps most obvious trait is her consistent low self-esteem. Bella constantly reminds herself that she's uncoordinated, unsocial, and unattractive, is that she is particularly attracted to men who are forbidden, she is thus drawn to the “ bad boy” , and third, and most unfortunately, Bella is simply excited by violence, aggression, and danger; she finds it all thrilling. Bella's attraction to anything dangerous is clear in many cases through her human life. She rides a motorcycle because of the danger. When Edward tells Bella that he'll literally kill anyone who tries to hurt her, she get’s attracted to the violent nature he has. She is exactly the type of person a abused or even worst a sexual predator would look for and as we already noted that Edward’s does not help his case , I kind of see a pattern here .

In conclusion :

I used to like this paring as a young , naive teen but as I grew old I came to see the treacherous nature of this type of relationships where , so many red flangs are so apparent. I’m not saying you are a bad person for shipping it , I ask that you try to read into the subtext and the clear and alarming signs, of this ship . I’m not asking for you to stop shipping it , only asking that you have more of a critical mind when you read , watch and dive into fandom .

#the twilight saga #bedward #bella x edward #beward #bellward #anti bellward #anti beward #anti bedward #toxic relationship #hot takes #edward x bella #kristen stewart #robert pattinson #twilight saga #give it some thought #stephenie meyer #edward cullen #bella swan #lets talk about it #shady #reasons why I don’t like

[queen-of-deans-booty]

Accidental Poisoning (AU)

Characters: Dean Winchester x Reader, minor characters

Word Count: 1,489

Warnings: allergic reaction to peanuts, fluff at the end

Summary: There is something that Dean doesn’t know about you, and he figures it out too late.

Squared Filled: Coffee shop au // allergic reaction // poisoning // mistaken for a couple // mutual pining // distortion

Fandom: Supernatural

Beta: she wants to remain anonymous

Author’s Note: This is for @spndeanbingo and @badthingshappenbingo and @hc-bingo and @spnfluffbingo2019 and @spngenrebingo and @spndarkbingo respectively and this is unbeta’d and any and all mistakes are all on me.

Feedback the glue that holds my writing together

Tags at the bottom

The coffee shop you worked at gave you lots of opportunities to be with your crush and co-worker, Dean Winchester. He started working there around the same time as you. Your best friend got you to apply when she informed you that they were looking for people who wanted full-time work. When you applied, you thought this was going to be the easiest job in the world: making coffee, heating up food, and cleaning tables.

No one ever told you about Dean and how much he would distract you from your work. No one knew of your crush except for your best friend, Melanie. She would often tease you about how his hair looked or about a certain look he would give you while the two of you were making coffee. It was getting kind of old, but you ignored her most of the time.

Before he started working there, you would get every order right, you wouldn’t zone out, and you always greeted a customer by their name if you could. After he started working there, however, you forgot everything there is to know about working in a coffee shop. If he were to even give you a side glance, you were most definitely spilling whatever it was that was in your hands. If you were dealing with a customer, then you would stutter and blush until the point where the customer got concerned for your health.

Now, to be fair, he was feeling the exact same way as you were. The only difference is that he knew how to hide his feelings better than you can. When he applied, he couldn’t even get you out of his head. He knew he had to get the job if it meant seeing you every single day. The way you smiled, how your eyes would shine if and when you got an order right, and your infectious laugh whenever he did something to earn it.

He didn’t want to tell you how he feels in case you didn't feel the same way. He didn't want the environment to be awkward for everyone until one of you is forced to quit. Instead, he just kept to being your co-worker and friend that you sometimes saw outside of work. He never even had the balls to ask you on a friend date with other people. That’s how scared he was of ruining everything.

The one thing he enjoyed about working with you is how many different kinds of drinks the two of you could make that weren't on the menu. It’s always fun to make new drinks that no one could ever think of so that maybe one day it would be put on the menu. There were so many ingredients and combinations you could try, it would take months before you tried them all.

Just before your break, you were at the cash register taking someone’s orders when Dean walked up next to you with a ready coffee for someone. He announced the person’s name and the kind of drink they ordered with a smile. When they came up and got it, he stumbled a bit which caused him to almost drop the coffee. Luckily, Dean had cat-like reflexes and caught it, handing it to the woman who could only laugh.

“Nice catch,” she complimented before leaving the counter.

“See that, Y/N? I have razor-sharp reflexes,” he grinned.

“Oh yeah, a real MacGyver,” you teased. He laughed as he passed you, but there were so many people behind the counter that he placed his hands on your shoulders as he passed.

“You love it,” he whispered in your ear before going to make another coffee. Blushing, you handed the woman in front of you her change.

“Here you go, I’m sorry about that,” you chuckled.

“Is he your boyfriend?” she asked.

“What? No, he’s not,” you blushed even more.

“He’s cute. You should ask him out. You two would make a cute couple,” she gushed before walking away. Looking back, you saw Dean concentrating as he made the coffee. Whenever he focused really hard, his tongue would stick out of the corner of his mouth just slightly in an adorable way.

“Hello? Miss?” the man in front of you asked when it was his turn. Turning to face the man, you cleared your throat before apologizing.

“I am so sorry. What can I get for you?” you asked, trying to keep your thoughts away from your co-worker. It was going to be hard if he kept talking to you that way, but you would manage.

“Hey, Y/N,” Dean whispered, approaching you on your break. The break room in the back was pretty big, so luckily, there was enough room back there to give you two some sense of privacy with other people in the room.

“What’s up?”

“Taste this. I made something revolutionary. I think you’re going to like it,” he handed you a cup of coffee.

“What is it?”

“Just taste it and let me know what you think,” he giggled like a schoolgirl. Maybe you should have sniffed it first so that you would know there were peanuts before taking a sip. No one knew this about you except for Melanie, but you were deadly allergic to peanuts. If you even got a whiff of them, you would go into shock. Your whole body would start to shut down as hives would break out on your skin. The only thing that could help you was your EpiPen that you kept in your bag at all times in case you got yourself in a situation that you couldn’t get out of. The break room was also the locker room where your things were stored, so your EpiPen wasn’t too far if you needed it.

Taking a sip of the drink, your eyes widened at the taste of peanuts. Doing a spit take, you began coughing intensely as your body began to convulse. Your body slid to the floor, and you couldn’t do anything as it started to shut down. Your lungs started to collapse on each other, which made it very difficult to breathe.

“Holy shit! Y/N!” Dean yelled, kneeling down to try and help you. You couldn’t find the energy to speak, but you looked at your locker with the EpiPen. No one knew it was there except for Melanie.

“Help! Someone help!” Dean shouted. All he could think about was how he poisoned you. Your co-workers rushed into the room, and your best friend pushed past everyone to see what was wrong. As soon as she saw your convulsing figure, she ran to your locker and rummaged through your bag. She grabbed the medicine stick, rushed over to you, and knelt down.

“Move!” she yelled at Dean. She slammed the end of the EpiPen into your thigh, and you were finally able to take a breath for the first time in minutes. The pain started dispersing, and you looked at Dean, who was just about in tears.

“I’m okay, Dean,” you winced as Melanie helped you up.

“Okay? I fucking poisoned you! Holy shit! I am so sorry! I am going to jail for this, aren’t I?” he panicked.

“Someone call 911,” Melanie announced.

“Mel, I’m fine,” you sighed shakily.

“No, Y/N, you need the medics to check you out,” she sighed as she got up to talk to the manager. Dean helped you to your feet before making you sit down at the table.

“I need you to get that drink out of here,” you pointed to it. Dean scrambled to remove it, and when he did, he returned to your side.

“I’m sorry I poisoned you. I swear I didn’t do anything to it. I may have put in too much coffee beans, but that’s about it!”

“Dean, you didn't poison me. I’m deathly allergic to peanuts. It’s not your fault you didn’t know. I should have told you before. I should have sniffed the drink. I mean, the same thing would have happened, but not as severe. I’m sorry for scaring you,” you sighed.

“Are you okay? Do you need some water?”

“Yeah, water is fine,” you nodded. He got up and got you a glass of water, moving your sweaty hair away from your forehead. He started to check your skin to see if you had a temperature, but you moved away from him. “Dean, I’m fine.”

“I poison the love of my life. Y/N, none of this is fine,” he admitted without realizing it.

“Wait what? Love of your life?” you asked just as medics pushed their way into the room. Dean’s eyes widened as the medics forced him to move away from you so they could check you out. Whatever they were doing to you, whatever kinds of questions they were asking, you couldn’t seem to take your eyes off Dean.

And he couldn’t seem to take his eyes off you.

Wanna get tagged? Add yourself to this document! If your tag doesn’t work, find out why!

@flamencodiva  @pisces-cutie  @wingedcatninja  @mersuperwholocked-lowlife  @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester  @kiwihoee  @thefaithfulwriter  @li-ssu  @babypink224221  @winchesterweirdo  @jennazeise  @calaofnoldor  @emoryhemsworth  @miraclesoflove  @xxboesefrauxx  @kendall-michele  @winchest3rbros  @deanmonandnegansbitch  @nahigm  @sandlee44  @bluedazefangirl  @a--1--1--3  @paintballkid711  @musiclovinchic93  @mrspeacem1nusone  @essie1876  @thelazywitchphotographer  @notyourtypicalrose  @scarletmeii

#spndeanbingo #spndarkbingo #spnfluffbingo2019 #spngenrebingo #hcbingo #badthingshappenbingo #dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester fic #dean winchester fiction #dean winchester fan fiction #dean winchester fanfic #dean winchester fan fic #dean x reader #dean fic #dean fiction #dean fanfiction #dean fan fiction #dean fanfic #dean fan fic #spn #spn fic #spn fiction #spn fanfiction #spn fan fiction #spn fanfic #supernatural #Supernatural Fan Fiction #supernatural fic

[wolfpawn]

I Hate You, I Love You, Chapter 97

Chapter Summary -  Tom and Danielle are found out, but how does the world and indeed the pair themselves react?

Previous Chapter

Rating - Mature (some chapters contain smut)

Triggers - references to Tom Hiddleston’s work with the #MeToo Movement. That chapter will be tagged accordingly.

authors Note - I have been working on this for the last 3 years, it is currently 180+ chapters long.  This will be updated daily, so long as I can get time to do so, obviously.

tags: @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog​​ @jessibelle-nerdy-mum​​ @nonsensicalobsessions​​ @damalseer​​ @hiddlesbitch1​​ @winterisakiller​​ @fairlightswiftly​​ @salempoe​​​ @wolfsmom1​​​

If you wish to be tagged, please let me know.

Taylor who? Tom Hiddleston has a new love.

The luck of the Irish, Tom Hiddleston’s new girlfriend is Irish.

St Patrick was not the only Irish person to banish a snake.

Hiding in plain sight, Tom Hiddleston has had a new girlfriend since last October.

Did Tom Hiddleston cheat on Taylor Swift?

Taylor Swift romance proven to be a contract as Tom Hiddleston walks out with his real girlfriend of almost a year.

Was Taylor Swift romance just a ploy to divert from real girlfriend?

Tom Hiddleston’s new girlfriend, his family clearly approves.

Tom Hiddleston’s new lover, chosen by his mother.

It had been a lunch with Emma and Jack that had finally been when Tom and Danielle were found out. They were due to go to Ireland for a few days the next day before they started their next bout of work, but decided to meet his sister and brother-in-law before going. It was a normal restaurant, but in London, it was flooded with people and as a result, they were noticed easily enough. Fans took photos on their phones and posted them online. It took less than three minutes from the first photo being posted and Luke’s call. Tom gave Danielle a look and she knew it was out; she inhaled deeply, but said nothing, only nodding slightly. Emma pulled her friend in against her and spoke a few encouraging words into her ear before they continued with their meal. When they were done and had decided to leave, there was a glut of photographers outside the restaurant shouting for Tom’s attention as they passed. Jack and Emma had gotten out easily enough and went to their car, Tom and Danielle however, were surrounded. Tom had not wanted to fuel them too much, but he feared Danielle getting overwhelmed, having never experienced anything like it before in her life, so he pulled her to his side, his hand on her waist, her body leaning in against his and they made their way to the car. Neither said anything, both looking straight ahead.

Luke released the information as they had requested; the media eating it up in moments, most elated to get everything they wanted without ever having to do anything for it, some irate that Tom and Danielle had effectively taken ‘their’ exclusive from them. The fans divided into their camps immediately. The obsessive ‘Hiddleswift’ and Taylor contingents getting aggressive; Danielle was fat, boring, ugly, untalented, weird, a stalker, a bully, a girl hater, a temptress and all around horrible person, Tom was the devil incarnate for breaking their goddess’ heart. Those who despised Taylor seemed overall happy with a somewhat more ‘acceptable’ other half for their Internet Boyfriend. Though there were some that loathed her as much as they did any other woman Tom had been linked to, if not more because she had dared to go near their obsession and for that unforgivable crime, they effectively tore her character apart without ever having met Danielle. Then there were the fans, the ones that were utterly gushing over Tom and his new love. They scoffed at those who were adamant that Tom was still with Taylor, they pointed out that they knew it was the same girl as went to dinner with him and his mother, who walked the dog in the park, some eagle-eyed fans had actually figured out it was Danielle in the photo with Tom and Emma Watson on New Year’s Eve. To most, their attention to this detail told them that Tom and Danielle were not some farcical rebound or contractual relationship. She knew his family, she was close to his family and she and Tom had not thrown the relationship into the spotlight, to them, it was legitimate, and seeing Tom with someone that they felt was clearly more on his level, was a cause for celebration. They tried to come up with a nickname for the pair, Ben jokingly texted that “TomElle” was the new big thing. Even though Tom severely disliked it, he did not dislike it enough to not jest about it to an even less impressed Danielle.

She did not tell Tom, or anyone else, but Danielle went online to see what people were saying. Overall, she smiled a lot, elated at how people seemed to realise she was nothing like Swift. She was hurt by some of the comments, but she forced herself to remember that these people did not know her, or indeed Tom for that matter. It was clear from some of their comments no one would ever be good enough, they thoughts she was not smart enough for him, or that her career was incompatible with his, that she was using him; but her mind immediately reminded her of how that very morning, she was the one that was in bed with Tom, him begging her to stop teasing him as she toyed with him and his manhood and that was the most important thing to remember, she had Tom and the jealous internet brats could not take that from her. The one thing that had her smiling above all others were those who hoped they would see more of the pair together, that seemed to think she made Tom happier and more alive again. She was being given credit for things she knew she had no right to be, like his demeanour on the Kong tour and even people who seemed to think her and Mac were what Tom needed and were complimenting her; one page even going so far as to start logging her fashion choices, saying she was the role model for the normal girl, to be yourself and comfortable in yourself rather than depressed, overly skinny and wearing clothes only fit for a ridiculous runway, the word ‘wholesome’ was being used again, but this time it did not bother her as much.

There was one picture that was doing more rounds than any other, the one they had chosen to give themselves, Mac was front and centre, having photo bombed the selfie Tom had attempted to take only to cause both to laugh and lead to an incredibly honest and fun photo. Even those were not fans of Tom’s were commenting on how they had dealt with their being found out and the photo being perfect and honest and open.

Luke had also added that the pair asked for people to respect their privacy, that Tom wanted to remind people that Danielle was not a celebrity, she did not wish to be one, she simply fell for one so to give her some modicum of privacy, he knew that it was showing a rag to a bull to some, that there would be those who would hound her more, but most, it was clear, were only going for them when in public, still not ideal, but Danielle was willing to take it.

Tom seemed almost meek when he came into the sitting room with two cups of tea. “Hey.”

She smiled back happily at him, “Hello, what has you all shy?” “How are you with everything?” “Good, well, I mean, it was full-on, the world now knows I exist, which is odd, but fine,” She smiled reassuringly.

“I wish you never had to go through this, I wish I was just some ordinary person.”

“Tom, stop, you don’t mean that, you are you, and I knew that from the start.” She pointed out. “We knew this would happen, we elected to allow it by going in public, it has happened and it can’t un-happen so let’s just get on with things. Are you packed?” Danielle leant forward and took the mug she always used. “I am, the bags are by the door. Are you sure it is a good time to go over?” “Tom, Michael Jackson, Kim and Kanye, Marilyn Manson, Will.I.Am, Beyonce and Jay Z, Elton John and a fuck tonne more people holiday in Ireland all the time and no one ever knows the half of it, it is safe to say, no one cares there. To make a fuss is frowned upon, you get accused of having notions, you don’t want to have notions. Bono has them, terrible things.” “I heard that said before actually,” Tom confessed with a chuckle.

“It may actually be the best time for us to go, no one will expect there. They will see us at the airport and expect us to be going someone hot and foreign, it will send them completely into a tizzy and we will have a few days in cute little B&B’s and not giving a feck.”

Tom sat beside her, “That sounds idyllic.”

“I am going to bring Mac for a walk in a minute, are you coming?” Truthfully, Tom was not in the mood for being harassed a second time in twenty-four hours by cameras, but he knew they would hound Danielle, in a way, he suspected that was her way of asking him to go with her for support, though not voicing her concerns on the matter aloud. “After tea.” “Of course.” On seeing her physically relax, he knew that his assumptions had been correct.

* The walk was awkward. There was a photographer following their every move, and that caused fans to notice Tom as well; meaning there were a couple of them taking photos too. The pair just acted as though they were alone, it was Mac that was less than pleased by those that were following them, though if anything, his eyeing the photographer was what kept the man from getting too close.

“Are you alright?” Tom asked in a low voice as they made their way through the park.

“Fine, I knew this would happen at first, it will be fine, they’ll realise we are just as uninteresting as anyone else going for a walk and get over it soon enough.” Danielle smiled. When they got to a field area, Mac started to jump around, looking back at them. “What?” “That’s my fault,” Tom admitted as he reached into his jacket pocket, producing a tennis ball which caused Mac to focus fully on Tom, sitting in front of him as patiently as possible, his butt barely tipping the ground in his excitement. “We started doing this when you were in Ireland.” “He never chased a ball for me.” Danielle stared between the pair of them.

“Really? He loves it.” “I am not going to lie, I am actually a little hurt.” Tom looked at her worriedly, “Should I not have…?” “Not at you, at him,” She pointed to Mac, who barely glanced at her for a moment before looking back at the ball in Tom’s hand. “Judas.” She unclipped his lead and the dog did a little spin on the spot before sitting waiting for Tom the throw. “Let’s see what we’ve got.” Tom threw the ball as far as he could, resulting in Mac bolting after it, catching it after the second bounce before running back elated with himself. “Why didn’t you do that for me?” Danielle demanded, to which Mac placed the ball at her feet as an answer. “Three weeks I spent trying to get you to fetch, we could have been doing this for ages.” Again, he just looked at the ball. “I am getting one of those sling things that throws it further.”

“I saw them in the pet shop when I got that, are they any good, they are so cheap I didn’t think they would be?” Tom asked as he watched Danielle throw the ball and Mac chased it.

“Yes, they get another twenty or so feet on it sometimes, he’ll love it.” When Mac returned, he dropped the ball for Tom. “Good, we can grab it when we get back then.” He looked to throw the ball again but paused on seeing someone in the distance.

“What?” Danielle looked around, thinking there was an issue, when she spotted someone, she groaned. “Careful of her.” “Yes, we interacted with her before, we walked by and she nearly, as you say, had kittens, that Mac was on the same path as her dog, and it started going insane barking at him and she got rude with me.” “Yes, that happens a lot, small dog owners don’t actually train their dogs or indeed treat them as actual animals and then get all annoyed when some crossbreed or other big supposedly ‘vicious’ breed is calm and their dog goes bananas, and Archibald tends to go batshit crazy.” “Who’s Archibald?”

“That barking rat.”

“She called that thing Archibald?” “Yep.” Tom found himself having to look at the ground as the woman in question came close enough to glare at them, her miniature poodle, beside her, shaved to look like it had been attacked by a lawnmower, the pair merely ignored it as it began to yap incessantly at Mac, whose only concern was why no one had thrown his ball for him. He gave a look of mild disgust at the irritating creature before nudging Tom to get his attention for the ball. “Sorry Buddy.” As soon as the woman and her dog were passed, he threw the ball again.

Danielle noticed the woman taking note of the photographer that had followed them standing nearby, photographing them; she looked between the man and the pair she had seen on a few occasions and held in such contempt, never realising that it was someone of note that she thought herself above. “Well, we have her attention now.” “Who is she?” “She was on the phone one day as she passed me, she is the wife of some Tory idiot that was running for parliament. Dunno if he got in, but she seemed to think that made her someone.” Danielle turned and took the freshly retrieved ball and threw it again. “I don’t know and I don’t care, as long as that rat doesn’t bite me, I don’t want to know.”

“Agreed.” Tom took the ball that time.

After ten minutes, Mac was lying in front of them, giving them both the idea he was done, so they reclipped his lead and walked towards home again, not paying any heed to the photographer. “I’ll get our things, you make sure he goes to the bathroom.” Danielle walked into the back kitchen and retrieved all of Mac's belongings for the kennels as well as the two roller suitcases that were ready inside the door. When she came back out, Mac was in the car, as was Tom. She put his belongings in the back with him, Mac looking at them as she got into the front seat. “He knows he’s going back.” “I think so.” “Am I a bad owner, because I am doing this a lot recently and I feel like I am being pretty shitty.” She looked at Tom sadly.

“You are making sure he is in a place that cares about him and who treat him well, no you are not a bad owner.” Tom kissed her hand. “You are going to be working a bit at home soon, or at least around home, why not see if you can arrange to get a place that will allow you bring him. Ask Branagh if he minds you having him in your trailer. You have his passport, so you can bring him on the ferry to Ireland and France with you if you want and arrange the same there. I have seen actors have their dogs on set before, you can do it too.”

Danielle immediately smiled at that. “That is actually a really good idea.” “Of course it is, I thought of it.” Tom laughed. “Come on, we don’t want to be late.”

#I Hate You I Love You #chapter 97 #tom hiddleston #Tom hiddleston fic #wolfpawn

[inviouswriting]

Aymeric~~

Cut for obvious~ I said before I will be doing his in full. So no one has to ask unless they want more from different letters.

This took all day x.x trying to think of things fitting for him.  hope you all enjoy my take on this. People can request more of specially marked letters because I have alternative or more ideas.

Very spicy stuff in here. I stress that this is very n//s//f//w// (Remember when you reblog this do not TAG the the n//s//f//w or it flags me.)

*A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

An absolute angel. He frets and worries if he’s hurt you, he has reasons to worry with how his size can be if you’re smaller. He massages any spot that is sore, kisses your face till you are giggling and blushing. He holds you in his arms to calm down, water or food. There will never be a moment where he forgets your limitations. He’s always beaming with pride and praises how proud he is, how much he loves you.

B* = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite on himself are two things his eyes and arms. Like Thancred, he likes his arms for the fact he protects and provides support to his lover. He loves the way you feel in them, and can’t get enough of holding you. 

His eyes, he sees alot of what others can miss. Nothing escapes his eyes with you, every nuance, smile, frown, when you are by yourself the worry. Or how you smile back at him in a room full of people. He also will use those ice blues to his benefit, conveys alot of hidden emotion through them that you pick up on. Master of the bedroom stare, and you are hopeless to deny them. Specially when he adds that smile. 

C = C**m (anything to do with c**m, basically)

Consistency is full and not very thick. Due to his rich diet, probably a bit sweeter. He can’t get over the first time you drank it down. You couldn’t walk for days.

D* = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He loves his office as a playroom. There is something freeing from the responsibilities whenever you indulge him in. He gets rambunctious, it becomes a game of how loud he can make you while murmuring words reminding you to keep your voice low. But it is so hard to do when he’s teasing you with his fingers and mouth. Even harder when he takes you on top of his desk filled with papers. His secret in this? He wants to be caught. He wants someone to walk in on you both, the idea of someone seeing the two of you. He doesn’t for he’d lose his rank but at the same time. He would not mind if it meant his time is freed up to join you on traveling.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

More devoted in his practice as a temple knight, he never did anything that could jeopardize his position even more so when he became lord commander. A scandal was something he could not risk, so there is no one that he had trysts with. Till you. But only after he was able to secure your hand and knows anything he does in his home or office stays between you two.  

F* = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He has two favorites. He loves you sitting in his lap most, the angle is right for him to hit just inside and watch your face light up in shock as he hits that one spot. His second favorite is you on your back and knees pressed to your chest. This is a position that allows him to go full tilt and you able to accept all of him inside. He can see your face and watch your pleasure wash over as he feels it.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Unintentionally humorous. He lightens the mood towards the beginning but as things get heated he becomes more serious to your needs and wants. But if you laugh during any time he treasures those intimate moments where the barriers break down and you are with each other instead of just together.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Given how he doesn’t have facial hair, I like to think he is well kept up. Hairless below because who wants mouth fulls of hair in times where it is suppose to be pleasurable. He also prefers his partner be the same way, hair gets in the way.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Romantic and respectful. He respects no’s and will not touch what is a never. He makes it about you more than himself. Romance in the sense he wines and dines you ahead of time to set the pace for the evening. Mulled wines but he never takes advantage of you if you are too incoherent or drunk because that is not consent even if you’ve been intimate before. He locks eyes alot, he checks in on you and treats you like a queen/king.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

The guy is walking stress. Any moment he has to take an edge off he does so. With something of yours so he can feel close to you. He prefers in the privacy of his home, and takes care to clean up. He imagines you there swallowing him down knowing how much of him can fit. (But hey, that is for an imagine I’ll be writing~ ;3)

K* = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Water. Bath, shower, lake, or somewhere, where he can let loose. Also the water helps keeps things fluid between you. Dress up kink. He loves costumes you can find for him to see. A simple maid outfit or songbird with the right tights. Those tights might need mending later.

L* = Location (favorite places to do the do)

His home, he can excuse servants and make the place completely private for you and him to do anything you or he desires. No one is allowed there with the exception of pure urgency but if he makes the word known, not even the heavens falling would trespass.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Telling him bluntly, or poking at his hot spots. Two are on his head in his ears. The one he keeps covered by the clasp is ultra sensitive. Nibbling on the ends makes him blush and start losing his composure. A lick across one and he’s pinning you down on whatever available surface he has. 

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anything that is disgusting or causes pain. Whatever your no is, is his. There will never be an accidental touch on something you dislike. He will never engage in knife play, blood play, or anything that is dangerous. No asphyxia where the wrong moment could end your life. 

O* = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Both. He learned your body through experience, he loves giving as it lets you be at his mercy for hours and he can listen to you sigh and sing his name all night. Our knight most heavenly indeed.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Slow and sensual. 

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Only in his office or if you rope him into a hidden alleyway. Quite often if you both are in between responsibilities. Promises to take care of each other thoroughly later.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He will experiment with whatever you bring to him. The big risk he’d take is being the dom in bdsm settings. I see him more of a sub, after all he spends so much time giving orders. He’d rather serve his lover.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He has a high drive given his discipline as a knight. He can last rounds before he gets tired. His partner might only be able to stand three rounds with what he has.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He owns alot from what his love brings for them to try out. He prefers ones where he can tease for a while. He doesn’t like using dilds because he rather do that himself. But he does keep a few for his partner to watch them.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

This man will tease you sitting next to you in dinner parties. If you sit next to him you can find fingers toying with you every chance he gets if he gets away with it. A foot playing with your leg if you sit across from him. He can do this with a stoic face save for the small sly grin your way. 

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Depends on what is happening. If you are going down on him he’s vocal and loud at your mercy. Full deep sighs and soft moans. When he’s closer he’ll call your name or praise you.

W* = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He loves edging. Bringing his partner close then denying them release. He can’t get enough of it since it prolongs their time together. A mild fan of overstimulation. Always with a safeword here because he can pet and lick for hours. 

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He’s an elezen. There are rumors of them being large, and he proves that sitting with a 9 1/2 length and a 3 1/2 circumference. The thickness is more of the concern for all the foreplay making sure you are well taken cared of or lubricated well before he even dares take you. He will never do you dry or he’ll hurt you. One will be very satisfied with him. 

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Moderately high. Time and place. But when he has you alone and knows for several hours you are his. That drive is very high. Specifically after you’ve tied the knot too.  

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Not quick to fall asleep, you’re more likely to be worn out first. Barely coherent after what he’s reduced you too. He’ll pet your head and cuddle you to no end. Only after you’re cleaned up and content in his arms does he entertain the idea of sleep.

#Aymeric #aymeric de borel #ser aymeric #Invi's ffxiv writing

[rubyleaf]

JELLIE: AN OUTSIDE PERSPECTIVE – a character study

Or, a look at how the Voice in the Crowd fans overanalyze Elise and Jen’s interactions. And are surprisingly on the nose…Elise, you ain’t subtle. Do not click the links; they’re just placeholders and lead nowhere.

(Disclaimer: I am only okay with shipping real celebrities if/as far as they’ve consented to it. It’s a topic the story will deal with from several angles.)

Tag list: @writer-in-monochrome, @alicewestwater, @mouwwie (notify me to be added or removed!)

Anonymous asked: Do you really think Elise is in love w Jen? Because she always looks a bit distant to me and idk where people are getting the crush thing from. Not judging in any way just curious

streetlights--stagefrights answered:

Ok first off let me start by saying that as much as I ship Jellie I would NEVER EVER make definitive statements about the nature of their relationship, they’re real people and we need to respect their privacy. All I’m saying is that to me it looks a lot like shes in love and here’s my reasons why.

1. Her body language.

You’re saying she looks distant but Ellie’s body language is very typical for attraction. You can see her mirroring Jen’s body language a lot (in this interview, another interview, on stage, see also their a cappella instalive), and mirroring is definitely a sign of attraction. Second, see the way she leans into her (here and here, @nighthowlsearlywords also has a great gif compilation with more examples) – she’s all in her face whenever Jen talks with her eyes glued to her. See also the way she smiles at her all the time for literally no reason. Sure, she rarely initiates physical contact but look at the way she acts with Jen vs the rest of the band (or literally anyone else).

2. The way she reacts to Jen’s displays of affection.

Elise is closer to Jen than the rest of the band. But look how chill she is with hugs from the guys versus how she reacts when Jen hugs her or gives her a kiss on the cheek. You see how awkward she gets? Out of context it does look like she’s uncomfortable, but it wouldn’t make sense for her to be more comfortable with the boys, who she’s less close to, than her best friend and creative partner who’s also the same gender as her. See also old videos where she looks completely chill with the same displays of affection, suggesting she actually grew more awkward as they got closer.

3. How she talks about Jen (then and now).

We all know Jen gushes about Ellie a lot, and pre-Yikes era Ellie used to do the same. We all swooned over “She is the melody and I am the lyrics” but that wasn’t the only statement of that type. Old Elise talked at length about how Jen found her, how she made her believe in soulmates, how they’re basically married, and other very romantic stuff without batting an eye. Compare that to newer interviews: Her comments about Jen stay suspiciously vague, and look at the way she glosses over the subject while not looking directly at the camera (also, see how red her face gets). Some people take this as proof that the shipping is getting to her, but Elise has always said she doesn’t mind it and has yet to retract her statements.

4. The fact that she’s consistently single (and won’t tell us why).

Elise has been open about a lot of very personal things, including her love life in the past. But when asked about it today, she evades the subject; all we know for sure is that she’s single and not looking for a partner. Her explanation why she’s not looking when all her bandmates are dating someone stays very vague in a way that’s not like her at all. A few comments seem to allude to her having someone she likes but that’s the most detail she’s giving us. Of course, that could be anyone but it’s interesting that this aura of mystery started around the same time as the rest of her changed behaviors.

Tl;dr: I get why it looks like Elise is distancing herself from Jen to you, but to me it seems more like she caught feelings and doesn’t want Jen to know. Usual disclaimer that I could be wrong and we don’t actually know whats going on unless they tell us, this is just my opinion.

#if you hover over the 'links' you might get descriptions of where they're supposed to lead #writeblr #character study #character relationships #romance wip #jellie: a band story #c: elise jamieson #me and my writings

[dogbearinggifts]

“Dad Sent Me to the Moon” vs. “Because Dad Made Me”

How Luther and Vanya Talk About Trauma, Part Five

Episode Six: The Day That Was (aka Goddamnit, Five, Stop Fixing Things!) 

Here we are at Part Five of my series analyzing how Luther and Vanya talk about their own trauma and respond to the trauma of others. I’ll be honest: this one gave me more than a few fits, trying to figure out how I’d count each character’s trauma mentions in this and the next one. The day restarts from the beginning, and despite some significant differences, many events do repeat. Vanya’s outburst remains the same from this episode to the next, but Luther’s interaction with Klaus is far different from his interaction with Allison. I think what I’ll do is count Vanya’s outburst in this episode and her outburst in the next as separate mentions, although I won’t include an analysis in my essay on Episode Seven. 

If you want to catch up with previous installments, you can find them here. 

Part One  Part Two Part Three Part Four

You can also find them under the tag “luther and vanya talk about trauma.” 

So, our first trauma mention comes from Vanya, who—at Leonard’s urging—returns to the Academy to tell her siblings about getting first chair, and stumbles into a family meeting that began without her. 

Vanya: Hey. What’s going on?  Allison: It’s a…family matter.  Vanya: A family matter. So of course you couldn’t bother to include me.  Luther: No, it’s not like that, we were— Vanya: Please, don’t let me interrupt.  Allison: Vanya, wait. I’ll fill you in later when we’re alone.  Vanya: Please, please don’t bother. And I won’t, either.  Allison: Vanya, that’s not fair.  Vanya: Fair? There’s nothing fair about being your sister. I have been left out of everything for as long as I can remember. And I used to think it was Dad’s fault, but he’s dead. So it turns out you’re the assholes. 

I’ll grant Vanya one thing: that was not the best choice of words on Allison’s part. Almost anything else would have been an improvement—”It’s an emergency meeting,” maybe, or “Five told Luther something important and he had to tell us right away.” What Allison said here was almost guaranteed to set Vanya off. 

That being said, this is definitely one of Vanya’s most unlikable moments. 

It’s easy to sympathize with her, or even cheer her on, when watching this scene the first time. On the surface, it appears Vanya has read the situation correctly and is completely justified in going off on them. They called a meeting without alerting her, and this is simply the last straw. She’s put up with their exclusion long enough, and her righteous anger is finally given a voice. However, none of that answers an important question: 

How were they supposed to contact her? 

Let’s leave aside the fact this is an emergency meeting called when Luther simply rounded up everyone currently in the Academy, and imagine that her siblings did indeed have time to contact her and call her to the meeting. How were they supposed to do that? This is a world where technology has apparently not advanced beyond the late 90s or early 2000s, meaning no one has a cell phone and texting is nonexistent. Pagers existed back then, but none of the siblings seem to have them. Vanya could only have been reached via landline, and she spent the night at Leonard’s. There is no evidence she returned to her own apartment that morning, so even if they had left her a message, she wouldn’t have heard it. 

Barring cell phones and pagers, there are only two other ways Vanya’s expectations in this scene would have been reasonable: 

One of her siblings is telepathic, enabling them to send her a message at the speed of thought regardless of where in the city she might be. 

One of her siblings is clairvoyant, enabling them to predict exactly where she would be at any given moment and deliver the message in person through a well-timed visit. 

Neither of these conditions are true. Enhanced strength, the ability to curve anything thrown, mind-control, and communing with the dead are not useful in contacting a sibling who could be anywhere in the city. Although Five’s ability would enable them to send a message quickly, he isn’t there. Even if he was there, he has no idea where she is. After he learned she wasn’t at her apartment, there’s a good chance he would be forced to waste a lot of time blinking all over the city in search of her. 

Now, assuming phone books are still a thing in this world, Allison could have obtained Leonard’s home number fairly easily. But just last episode, one day prior to these events, Allison’s sleuthing was met with several low blows from Vanya. She made it clear that she did not want Allison digging up dirt on Leonard or butting into her life, however protective Allison’s motives might be or however pure her intentions, and that doing so would make her angry enough to unleash whatever emotional pain it took to drive Allison away. So if Allison were to try Leonard’s number on the off chance Vanya might be at his place, this attempt would likely end with a disconnected call at best and a screaming match at worst. 

What Vanya has done here is place her siblings in a double bind: She wants her siblings to respect her privacy, but she always wants to be included in what they do together. Yet because she wants them to respect her privacy, she isolates herself to the point where they can only offer to include her by invading her privacy. If they invade her privacy, she becomes angry; but if they don’t invite her to things, she also becomes angry. Their only chance at winning is not to play—i.e., don’t invite Vanya and hope she never finds out something was going on in the first place. 

Furthermore, there is no guarantee Vanya would have accepted an offer to join the meeting. In the second episode, when Allison goes out of her way to invite Vanya to a family meeting, Vanya’s response is “And you guys want me there?” She does attend, but only after an apology and some cajoling from Allison. Who’s to say an invitation to this meeting wouldn’t have been met with the same frosty response? Who’s to say Vanya wouldn’t have strung her siblings along only to bail at the last minute; or attend and make bitter remarks about how kind it was of them to invite her, even if they just planned ignore her because she was the only sibling without powers and therefore useless? 

Vanya is not being fair at all. Her own decisions led to her exclusion here, yet because she is being excluded, she foists all the blame on her siblings. While she was certainly excluded in the past through no fault of her own, this situation is entirely of her own making, and she is either unable or unwilling to see her hand in it. 

Additionally, the conversation she walked into is one where her siblings have just learned they will die in three days, making her tantrum come across less as righteous anger and more as a childish fit. While it’s true Vanya lacks this context, it’s also true that she never asks for it and actually lashes out at Allison when she offers to give it. Rather than unleashing 25 pent-up years of passive aggressiveness, when Allison offered to fill her in, she could have taken a deep breath, quelled her anger, swallowed her pride, and said, “Okay. Can you fill me in now?” Allison likely would have taken her aside and explained what she had just learned from Luther. 

From there, who knows what might have happened? Maybe she would have spent the day contemplating her coming death and what was most important to her, and decided to patch things up with her family. Maybe she would have kicked Leonard to the curb when he laughed at her. Maybe she would have gone to the Academy and told whoever answered the door that they’d hurt her in the past, maybe even that she’d hurt them too, but that she’d only ever wanted to be their sister and that she wanted to make things right in the time they had left. Maybe she would have discovered her powers there, surrounded by people who had no idea what to do but who knew how hard it could be to get powers under control and were willing to help her. Maybe April 1 would have come and gone with Vanya learning to master her powers and the whole family calling Reginald a grade-A asshole for making her think she was ordinary.

Maybe that’s not how it would have gone. There’s no way to know for sure. But I tend to believe that if Vanya had known the end of the world was coming, her attitude toward her family would have changed drastically and for the better.  

********

Our next trauma mention comes directly after Vanya leaves, and it’s from Luther.   

Luther: There isn’t time. We need to figure out what causes the apocalypse. Now, there are loads of possibilities—nuclear war, asteroids, but I’m thinking this is about the Moon. Right? Dad must have sent me up there for a reason. And I was giving him daily updates on the conditions, I sent field samples. So the first thing we need to do is find his research. 

This is another line that Luther gets a lot of flak for, and it’s another line for which the flak is, in my opinion, undeserved. Yes, it’s a mention of the Moon. No, it doesn’t necessarily flow from the conversation beforehand; and yes, it does show Luther is a little too focused on the Moon, if he jumps from “world is going to end” to “my research on the Moon can help us.” However, as was established in the last episode, Luther’s time on the Moon was more difficult for him than he’s perhaps ready to admit. And as was established in prior episodes, Luther still has no idea why he was sent there. It makes perfect sense that he would try to connect the impending apocalypse to the Moon: He’s desperate to derive some meaning from those missing years. 

More to the point, however, Luther’s mention of the Moon in this case is not an attempt to draw attention to himself, and it’s not an attempt to (as Diego says in the next episode) make the apocalypse about him and Reginald. Luther sees a very big problem, and he’s offering a solution. The world is going to end in three days? Well, he was on the Moon for four years doing research; maybe he found something useful. Luther’s mention of the Moon in this scene isn’t a ploy for attention; it’s an attempt to help. His mention is constructive, not a diversion. 

********

Moments later, we catch up with Vanya and Leonard leaving the Academy. 

Vanya: I can’t believe I was stupid enough to go back there!  Leonard: I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have made you do it.  Vanya: No, it’s my fault. I maybe just wanted them to be proud of me for once? And how could I presume to be worthy of their attention? Nothing’s ever big enough next to their holier-than-thou, weight-of-the-world bullshit! 

Luther gets a lot of criticism for his inordinate focus on the Moon, but Vanya’s focus on her past exclusion is just as pronounced, and few scenes illustrate that better than this one. 

I’ve already examined in detail how her presumption that her siblings intentionally and maliciously left her out of their meeting was both erroneous and myopic, so I won’t go into that again. I will, however, point out that both her outburst back at the Academy and her tirade here show just how readily her thoughts connect events in the present to her exclusion in the past. Just as Luther hears about an impending apocalypse and thinks “Oh, this must have something to do with the Moon,” anytime Vanya sees her siblings doing anything without her, she immediately thinks “Those fucking assholes are leaving me out again because they don’t think I’m family!” 

Anger is not a choice. It’s an emotional response to outside events. However, when any emotion comes along, there is the choice to tamp it down and wait for it to pass, channel it for constructive purposes, or to indulge it. In choosing to indulge her anger, Vanya has cut herself off from vital information that could have possibly led her to seek reconciliation with her siblings—in a situation where they would most likely have been more willing to reconcile. The world may very well end in three days, after all. Who wouldn’t try to make things right with an estranged sibling if given the chance? 

*******

From there, Luther follows through on his decision to find the research he sent back from the Moon and comb through it in search of clues. And that is when we get this scene: 

Luther: He never even looked at them. Why not? To Pogo Why not?  Pogo: Your father was many things. Forthright was not one of them. After your accident, he wanted to give you purpose, Master Luther. He felt this was the only way.  Luther: What? Shanghaiing me on the Moon for four years? I wasn’t a good enough Number One? That’s what it was? I couldn’t cut it? So he sent me away?  Pogo: No! No, that’s not— Luther: Please, just leave me alone.  Pogo: Master— Luther: Now! Please—get out! 

The dialogue alone doesn’t do it justice. You can hear the brokenness in Luther’s tone, the disbelief and hurt. And honestly, I’d be concerned if all of that didn’t make an appearance. Luther has spent the past four years (not to mention the whole series) believing he was sent to the Moon for a reason. He spent four years in cramped quarters, with no human contact and very few earthly comforts. There’s a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it shot of one of the packets he sent down; on the label, Luther has written “REMINDER: PLEASE SEND MORE FOOD,” the implication being that Reginald frequently forgot to send food until Luther’s supplies were dangerously low. Luther was essentially in solitary confinement with less frequent meals and lower air quality, and he coped by throwing himself into the research he believed he had been placed there to do. Research he thought would one day save the world. 

And now he has just learned that all of his suffering was for nothing.  

While the revelation gives us deeper insight into the depths of Reginald’s assholery, it’s Luther’s wording that gives us insight into his mental state: He could have blamed Reginald here. He should have blamed Reginald. Instead, he immediately blames himself: “I wasn’t a good enough Number One? That’s what it was?” 

This scene is, in my opinion, where arguments that Luther was not abused come to die. Even when faced with explicit evidence that Reginald is a fuckweasel from Planet Douchecanoe, Luther’s first instinct is to assume that what he suffered is a direct result of his own personal failings. This is textbook evidence of a childhood spent under a parent who refused to take responsibility for their own shitty behavior. 

You see, in an abusive household, everything your parent does to you is your fault.* If they list off all your character flaws and exaggerate them to the point where you look like a perpetual fuckup, it’s because you wouldn’t heed gentler correction and you need a rude awakening. If they criticize your appearance, it’s because you never take enough pride in it and they’re embarrassed to be seen in public with you. If they hit you, it’s because you’re always off in your own little world and won’t listen unless you have a good reason to. If they choose to spend their money on themselves and neglect your basic needs—well, why are you being so selfish? They spent every last penny on you when you were small, and now the second they decide to go out and have some fun, you bring up your wants? 

While it’s certainly possible to maintain a realistic view through all this victim-blaming—namely, that it is victim blaming and that it’s wrong—it’s far more common for abuse victims to internalize it. Rather than look at their parents and say, “You’re the one being an asshole. I did nothing to you, and you need to leave me alone,” kids are more likely to believe what their parents are saying. If Mom and/or Dad says they’re responsible for the way they’re treated, then they assume they just need to behave better. If the parents treat them badly all the time, it must be because they’re just bad children. 

In this scene, Luther doesn’t ponder the implications of what he’s seeing. He doesn’t take a second to consider what the unopened packets might mean. He immediately assumes it was because of something he did, or didn’t do. The notion that Reginald sent him to the Moon because he couldn’t stand the sight of him (as Diego said earlier) doesn’t seem to occur to him in the moment. His first assumption is that he did something wrong, and Reginald punished him by sending him away. This, to me, speaks to a lifetime of internalizing Reginald’s abuse, of treasuring every tiny scrap of praise and pondering the criticism he got for days, even weeks afterward. Luther was taught that he was responsible for his father’s behavior, and when that behavior harmed him—well, he should have been a better son. 

********

Soon afterward, Allison finds Luther still staring at the unopened packets. Given that he’s still numb, it seems reasonable to assume relatively little time has passed, but I’ll get into that more in my analysis of the next episode. 

Allison: Hey, so, I couldn’t get a flight out until tonight. I don't know what to do, so I’m just going to head to the airport and wait. I just—I wanted to say goodbye. Pause Luther?  Luther: I found Dad’s research from my mission on the Moon. Every single package was still sealed.  Allison: Why would he— Luther: He never opened them because he never actually cared what I was doing up there. Four years of my life…a lie.  Allison: What an asshole.  Luther: I’m not the right person to stop this apocalypse, Allison.  Allison: Hey, Luther, don’t say that.  Luther: No, this world needs a leader and I’m not it. I’m not. Dad knew it, and now I know it. I’m done.  Allison: Can I show you something? 

In the previous scene, we witnessed the moment of impact, so to speak—the moment where Luther’s worldview implodes. Here, we see the aftermath. He sits quietly, staring at the packets. He’s clearly had at least a few minutes to ponder the implications, and he’s come to the conclusion that Reginald never opened them because he never cared about the mission to begin with. Luther has also concluded that those four years were wasted, and he spent them living a lie. 

While we get an inkling of him placing the blame where it belongs (”He never actually cared what I was doing up there”) Luther’s self-blame is still prominent. Although Allison condemns Reginald’s actions (“What an asshole”) Luther’s first thought is still that he is somehow not up to the task of stopping the apocalypse. Never mind that there is no clear, logical link between the legitimacy of Luther’s Moon mission and his ability to stop the apocalypse. Never mind that the Moon mission had more to do with getting Luther out of the way than anything involving the apocalypse. To Luther’s mind, the fact he was sent to the Moon for no reason, his meticulous research left unread, is a sign that he is somehow deficient. Again, this is pretty clear evidence of a lifetime spent blaming himself for Reginald’s shittiness. 

What’s interesting about this interaction, though, is that Allison doesn’t give Luther space or permission to process his trauma. She doesn’t explicitly deny him these things; she simply doesn’t offer them. Which, knowing Allison, is completely in-character. From all evidence, she never truly processed the trauma of her childhood either; she simply moved out and used her power to build the perfect life for herself. Rather than confront the pain and begin to heal, Allison distracted herself from the pain by surrounding herself with things that made her happy. She ran roughshod over the free will of countless people, but that is how she coped. 

Here, she offers Luther a harmless version of her own coping mechanism. Rather than talk about the Moon mission or Reginald or how it all made Luther feel, she invites him up to their old hideout. Rather than help him face the pain, she offers him a distraction from it. And under the circumstances, this is not necessarily bad. As far as Allison and Luther know, they’ll be dead in three days. Their priority is not lasting solutions to long-term problems, but finding peace before the end. That is what Allison tries to give him. 

*******

One last thing of note for this episode: Luther and Vanya are confronted by their respective traumas in radically different ways, and their reactions foil one another. 

Throughout the series, we have seen Vanya externalize her trauma. This is not, in itself, a bad thing. Many abuse survivors internalize their own mistreatment, and being able to say “No, this wasn’t my fault. Someone else chose to do this to me, and I did not bring it on myself” is not only empowering, but often a crucial first step toward healing. But in the scene where she reads her siblings the riot act for excluding her, she takes it to an extreme. Rather than remaining at a healthy level of externalization, Vanya has taken it so far that she is either unable or unwilling to see how her own choices led to her being left out of the conversation she walks into. The situation might have echoes of her childhood exclusion, but her own decisions created it and her own decisions could have undone it. Because she has externalized her exclusion to such a degree, she drives another wedge between herself and her siblings and ensures she does not receive information that could have prevented the apocalypse. 

Luther, on the other hand, exhibits an extreme degree of internalization. When he finds the sealed packets of research he sent down from the Moon, it is clear that this is entirely Reginald’s fault. Reginald is the one who sent him to the Moon. Reginald is the one who told him to “watch for threats” and perform extensive research. Reginald is the one who tossed the packets into a compartment beneath the floorboards without so much as glancing at them. Yet when Luther is confronted with irrefutable evidence that what happened to him is not his fault, his immediate assumption is “I wasn’t good enough. I caused this.” 

Each character sits at the opposite extreme, and what I find remarkable about it is that the gender expectations are flipped. In many cases, it’s the female character who blames herself for her own misfortune (even when she is clearly not at fault) and the male character who blames others (even when his own choices are to blame). But in this case, it is the female character who foists responsibility onto others and refuses to accept her own share, while the male character assumes blame that should have never been his to begin with.

Running count of trauma mentions (cumulative of all episodes thus far)

Own Trauma: Vanya 6, Luther 7

Trauma of Others: Vanya 3, Luther 3 

*A tendency to blame the victim is also a hallmark of abusive romantic partners, but since this show is primarily about child abuse, I’ll focus on that. Just…promise me that if any of what follows this asterisk sounds like something your partner does, please, please try to leave them. You don’t deserve that. 

Read on to Part Six

#the umbrella academy #umbrella academy #tua #tua meta #luther hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #how luther and vanya talk about trauma #diego hargreeves #allison hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #five hargreeves #ben hargreeves #reginald hargreeves #number one #number seven #number two #number three #number four #number five #number six #essays #abuse #internalization #externalization