#still so upset i didn’t even get the fun graduation or prom or anything parts of high school bc I dropped out and got my ged and here my

[milo-is-rambling]

I know I should be excited for my brother but this whole thing feels like it’s going to be hours and hours of me feeling like a failure while my brother is happy and it’s so hard to step out of myself and be fully happy for him without feeling like a shitty disappointment

#still so upset i didn’t even get the fun graduation or prom or anything parts of high school bc I dropped out and got my ged and here my #brother is graduating for the second time and everyone’s showering him with love and praise but I had to fucking struggle to even get my GED #and no one really celebrated at all #idk. I just don’t see myself going to college really so it’s hard to think about one never getting any of this for me and two my dad not #being here to see it bc normally he was the one who would understand when I was being selfish and he would talk me out of it or at least try #while my mom was just praising my brother and being happy for her son my dad was always comforting me #ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh I feel like a failure who’s dad is dead #crying in the car waiting for my mom to get to graduation #vibes are bad but I’m so happy for my brother and so proud cause this whole thing kicked his ass and to even be in a place where he can walk #at graduation and do summer courses is incredible #like even tho he struggled he really pulled thru and I love him and I’m so proud but also why am I such a fuck up and why does no one #celebrate when I do well especially after being such a fuck up #ugh. #so sick of crying I’m gonna be crying all day #fuck this fuck this fuck this fuck this I want to stay in the car forever and do nothing

[one-more-offbeat-anthem]

for the last day of @starrynightdeancas‘s 2k followers celebration: firsts! this was overall such a fun thing to take part in and thank you, sophie, for hosting it :) and once again, congrats!

*************** Cas Milton had fallen in love once, and only once. 

When he first realized that he was hopelessly in love with his best friend, Dean, he said to himself, this is the first time I have fallen in love. Cas had thought that maybe, after a few years, he would fall for someone else, but that hadn’t happened. 

He and Dean had graduated high school together, gone to college together, and remained roommates throughout. And now it was January of their first year out of undergrad, and they were still living together, because why do anything else? 

(It was a sweet torture, living with Dean.)

Right now, though, it was a different kind of torture, because Dean was going through a breakup, which meant he had spent the past two days laying on their couch, hogging the TV to binge-watch Downton Abbey, lay around, and drink a lot of beer. 

“Dean,” Cas said, grabbing the remote and pausing the episode before sitting down next to his best friend, “You gotta stop doing this.”

“Why? I’m a failure, man. I can’t keep up a relationship--Lisa told me I was ‘too distant.’ What does that even mean?”

“C’mon, that doesn’t make you a failure. I’ve never dated. Does that make me a failure?”

“You have too dated. You took Meg Masters to prom. Junior year. I remember.” Dean waved his current beer bottle at Cas. “You thought she was pretty.”

“She was pretty. Her dress was very nice.” Cas sighed. “But we didn’t date, Dean.”

“Fine, fine.” Dean took a swig of his beer and then stared at Cas. “Do you think I'm pretty?”

“I--” Cas swallowed thickly. Of course he thought Dean was pretty. He was all the nice adjectives--beautiful. Handsome. Attractive. 

And unattainable.

“Uh, yeah,” Cas said, throwing in a laugh that he hoped was casual, “Absolutely.” 

There was a period of silence where Dean just stared at a random spot on the wall. Finally, he spoke. “Y’know, I didn’t even love Lisa. I just wanted to.”

“...So why are you so upset that she dumped you?”

“Cuz of something else she said.” Dean downed the rest of the beer.  

“What was that?” 

Dean lolled his head back, avoiding eye contact. “She said she knew who I really loved, and that it wasn’t her. And then she said I was a coward.”

“You’re not a coward,” Cas said, even as his heart fell. He had known Dean for nearly ten years now--if Dean loved Cas, he would have told him, right?

Right?

“Yeah, I am. Takes beer and period dramas to get me to spill my guts.” Dean pulled his phone out of his pocket. “Got drunk a few years ago, epically, and called Sam. Left him the worst voicemail. He recorded it and sent it to me.”

“Oh?” Cas couldn’t help it, his curiosity was piqued. 

Dean pressed play, and his voice, slightly slurred, filtered out of the phone. “Hey Sammy, can you pick me up? I would call Cas, but I can’t, cuz I'm runnin’ away from him, cuz I love him too much, y’know? You know.” There was a cough on the recording, and then it continued. “I think I'm gonna throw up. This was so stupid. Love is stupid. Bye.” Click. 

When Cas could finally bring himself to look Dean in the eyes, what met him was an expression of anxiety and fear. Dean’s face was red.

“Feel free to ignore me forever, or whatever,” Dean said. “I probably just fucking ruined our friendship.”

“You didn’t ruin anything,” Cas said softly. “Did you mean it?”

“Duh. Wouldn’t be so upset if I didn’t.” 

“Hmm.”

“Hmm?” Dean raised an eyebrow. “What’s that supposed to mean, Cas?”

“Can I kiss you?”

“Please.” 

(Their first kiss was better than Cas had ever imagined.)

#dailydestieldelights #destiel #ficlet #spn #sorry for the schmoopiness of this I just needed to write something happy #offbeatwrites

[mytrashcanlife]

Ashes to Ashes Jasper X Reader Part 3

After a few weeks the two new siblings had settled into the house. Alice was quickly becoming one of your best friends. She took you shopping, constantly, and insisted that even though you no longer had a date you were still going to prom and you were going to be the most sparkly thing there. Jasper on the other hand was never around, at least as far as you could tell. Every time you walked into a room he walked out of it. He didn’t look at you often and you returned the gesture because on the rare occasion you did lock eyes with him he looked like he wanted you six feet under. Alice insists that isn’t true and everyone else says he doesn’t hate you, but he hasn’t shown it at all. Little do you know that when you dance in the living room after convincing Edward to play the entertainer for the one-thousandth time, that he is just on the other side of the pillar in the house. Out of sight but soaking up every ounce of pure joy you give off. Having only felt constant negativity for a long time, your consistent positive emotions were a welcome change, but when you looked at him they turned to discomfort and fear, so he stayed out of your way. There was only one time he really felt you full of fear and concern when he wasn’t around, and it wasn’t a pretty sight.

Rosalie and Emmet had gone hunting and Rosalie had gotten much messier than usual due to Emmet’s hijinks. She thought she was sneaking into the house while you were away, but you saw her come in and go up the stairs. When she reaches the top of the stairs her eyes meet yours in horror.

“Oh my God Rosalie are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Emmet shot a deer and thought it would be funny to throw me at it. You know Emmet. Ha-ha.”

“Rose that doesn’t explain most of this blood are you hurt?”

“I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. Tis but a flesh wound. I’m going to shower. I’ll be fine. Don’t worry”

You let her go, but not the incident. You bring it up to Emmet and Carlisle and nobody’s stories or explanations were adding up. Carlisle was definitely hiding something from you, and you were at your ropes end. You decided to confront Carlisle about all these issues, and it doesn’t go well. Jasper hears you yelling and goes to investigate. Still out of sight.

“Carlisle I am not some stupid little girl anymore. What aren’t you telling me?”

“(y/n) please just leave it alone. You’ll understand when you’re older.”

“When I’m older? Carlisle I’m an adult. I’ve graduated. Soon I’m going to have to go Out into the world by myself. How much older do I need to be?!”

“Much older!”

“Fine if you won’t tell me I’ll just ask aunt Jane.”

“NO. (y/n) please for your own good just drop it.”

“Carlisle Elizabeth Cullen”

“That’s not my middle name”

“It is now. You have dodged every question I have asked you for years. I didn’t press the issue because I assumed you would tell me when I was an adult, but now I’m eighteen, my boyfriend just dumped me because he found out you were my family, though you all despised him before that. And now I have two new family members that I know nothing about, who look nothing like any of you, one of which looks at me like he wants me dead for absolutely no reason, and I just found my sister trying to sneak upstairs, covered in blood that is most definitely not her own. I want answers Carlisle and I will get them if you won’t tell me I will find someone who will, AM I CLEAR?”

Jasper was still hidden out of sight. Carlisle knew he was there but (y/n) was oblivious. He expected emotions to be rolling off of her, Sadness and Fear among them, but despite the tone of voice she held she was completely calm, no rage just minor annoyance.

“(y/n) everything I have done I did for your safety. Now drop it.”

“Unbelievable.” After a brief pause you decide it’s no use fighting with him. “Emmet!”

Emmet appeared in the doorway. (y/n) knew he was there but she never took her eyes off of Carlisle’s. “What’s up (y/n)?”

“I’ll meet you, downstairs in five. We’re going climbing. You down?”

“Always.”

“Good.” You turned around and ran out of the kitchen and upstairs to your room to get ready.

The next few weeks were more difficult for Carlisle than he expected. Jasper as well. Your normal Happy demeanor had been replaced with complete indifference. You were on a strict schedule and you stuck to it. Never speaking to Carlisle, and never even glancing in Jasper’s direction. You were waiting. The other side of the family would be visiting soon, and you were going to get your answers one way or the other. Soon enough you were out in the field with your usual trinkets waiting for them.

“(y/n) child! It’s so good to see you again.”

“You too uncle Aro.” You smile weakly and give your usual hug. When you pull back Aro has noticed your change in demeanor. He knows but he asks anyway.

“What’s wrong?”

“Where do I even begin? Carlisle is keeping secrets from me and I’m worried. I’ve never given him reason not to trust me but so much has happened that doesn’t add up. He’s dodging my questions and insists for my own safety that I ‘drop it’ and just pretend nothing is wrong.”

“How about you go with Aunt Jane and I’ll talk to Carlisle?”

“If you can get him to stop being so weird by all means.”

You and Jane go back to the house up to your room and you tell Carlisle that Aro is waiting for him in the field and wants to talk.

“Aunt Jane I’m worried.”

“About what dear?”

“You have to promise not to freak out okay?”

“Of course.”

“well, I saw Rosalie a few weeks ago, sneaking upstairs covered in blood. She insists nothing is wrong, but it wasn’t her own. I mean I expect that kind of behavior from Emmet, but Rosalie isn’t one to get dirty you know?”

“That is strange. Anything else bothering you?”

“Yeah we have two new kids Carlisle just adopted and Alice is super sweet, she helps me cook, helps with my homework. She even helped me pick out a prom dress, But Jasper…He gives me the creeps. I swear he looks at me like he wants me dead.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know! I haven’t said two words to the guy, but the others insist he doesn’t hate me.”

“Well I’m sure once Aro talks to Carlisle, you’ll get some answers.”

“Thanks Jane. Hey, can I braid your hair?”

“Of course.” While you are happily braiding intricate patterns into Jane’s hair, the situation is much more tense out on the field. Carlisle already knows what’s coming but he’s not happy about it.

“Aro.”

“Carlisle. My niece is unhappy. She seems to think you’re hiding something from her”

“She’s not your niece. I still don’t know how she came up with that idea. You know what I’m hiding, and you know I can’t tell her.”

“I told you that this charade couldn’t last for forever. You will tell her.”

“Aro it’s your rule that we don’t tell humans about us.”

“I know. You will tell her, and she will turn.”

“She will not.”

“She will. I don’t care who does it or when, but she will turn, and if what I’m hearing about your new members is true I’d be willing to bet who does it.”

“Jasper has his issues but he’s doing much better. He won’t hurt her.”

“I Know. I know that he doesn’t want to hurt her.”

“He isn’t going to.”

“He’s an empath Carlisle haven’t you noticed anything different about (y/n)? or him?”

“He’s not controlling her emotions.”

“I know he’s not if he was she wouldn’t be so scared of him. But she is a constant beacon of joy. She makes Jane of all people smile. After the hell that kid has been through I’m sure he’s enjoying every second of relief her emotions can give him. I’m sure when her dog left her she was pretty upset too.”

“The entire relationship lasted a few weeks.”

“Carlisle you don’t think we keep tabs on that girl? She’s the only person to ever make every member of this family smile on a regular basis, and if anyone or anything threatens her we will take every pleasure in destroying that threat.”

“You’re attached to her? You wanted me to leave her for dead!”

“That was a long time ago Carlisle things have changed. Let me make myself very clear. One of you is going to turn her by the time she’s nineteen or I will do it myself.”

“You speak of threats to her happiness and then threaten it yourself. She would never want to be one of us. She would be miserable.”

“I don’t think so. And you may want to keep your voice down Jane is returning with her now.”

Carlisle turns to see her and Jane walking towards the field. Jane as usual with complicated braids throughout her hair. (y/n)’s smile drops as she walks closer to Carlisle refusing to meet his gaze.

“(y/n)! I trust you had fun with Jane?”

“As always.”

“Did you get our gift?”

“Yes. Thank you so much. It’s beautiful. I have it in my jewelry box at home.”

“Good.” Aro turns back to Carlisle “I trust we’ve come to an understanding. I’ll see you next year.”

“Bye.”

The two of them left and Carlisle walked back to the house with (y/n).

“Are you going to talk to me (y/n)?”

“Are you going to stop being so unnecessarily vague and stop dodging my questions?”

“There are things I can’t tell you”

“then no”

After a few more minutes of silence she spoke once more in exasperation.

“Can you at least tell me why Jasper hates me?”

“He doesn’t hate you.”

“Then why does he avoid me at all costs. Or stare at me like he wants me dead?”

“Ask him.”

“fine I will”

They walk the rest of the way back in silence. Once they were home she immediately ran up the stairs to her room and shut the door. Everything was too much of a headache right now. She just decided to go to sleep for now and deal with everything else in the morning. Meanwhile Carlisle decides it’s best to keep his conversation with Aro a secret from the rest of the family. He’d figure it out later.

#jasper #jasper cullen #jasper x reader #jasper cullen x reader #twilight #twilight fanfiction #twilight renaissance #twilight reverie

[twoidiotwriters1]

Pure Blood 36 (Sirius Black x F!Oc)

Words: 2,560

Masterlist:

Chapter 35

"I don't even know if I'll be able to walk without the crutch," I lean against the wall, watching the others choose a dress for prom.

"That is no excuse for not wearing a nice dress,” says Marlene.

“You don’t need to walk on it, just wear it," Lily adds.

"Better just wear normal clothes and use my crutch to trip others–“

“Don't be grumpy. It’ll be fun. It’s our last party at Hogwarts!” says Jenna.

"Won't you choose a dress?" Marlene asks.

“Jenna already chose it for me.”

"You say it as if I control you.”

"Because you do," I joke. She rolls her eyes.

"At least I know that Black will thank me for it, because you’re ungrateful.”

I laugh.

“Don't overreact. I agreed with the dress. It’s not that important. The real gossip is that it’ll be the first dance in which the two dungheads will finally be together without trying to kill each other,” I point out to Lily.

The others squeal with excitement making Lily blush.

“That's beautiful! We’ll finally be with Lily without her bickering about James!”adds Marlene.

“I never did that!” Lily exclaims.

“Yes you did!” We all say.

"Even Jenna and I knew it," I comment. I move my crutch a little, but it’s a big mistake, I hit one of the boxes next to me causing it to fall and the clothes that were inside are left disorderly on the floor, also, I lose my balance and end up hitting my knee.

"Ok, P. Why don't you wait outside?"

I frown. “You're talking to me like I’m a little girl.”

"Here, go by some sweets,” She says handing me money.

I make a face.

“Fine.”

I leave the store and walk to the nearby bench. I'll rest first, my knee still hurts.

For a few minutes I only see people passing from one place to another. Some girls also look for their prom dresses, makeup, accessories. They squeal while discussing their ideas with their friends. I laugh at their excitement, at least some get to enjoy this.

"Oh hello, Persephone,” I turn to my right to meet Peter.

"Hey, Pete,” He sits next to me.

"How long have you been sitting here?" He asks.

"Uh, just a few minutes, why?”

"Oh, no nothing. You, uh- haven't you seen anything strange?”

"Not yet, but it's still early. " I joke. "Why do you say that?”

“No reason,” He responds quickly.

"Are you okay, Peter? You're sweating a lot,” I point to his wet hair.

"Yes! Yes, I'm okay. Just, uh, a little nervous. It’s almost graduation and there are many things to do…”

"Really? I thought you just had to get a tux, you already have a date, what else do you have planned?”

"Uh, you know, I want that night to be special for the- the girl, my date, yeah,” He looks away.

"If you say so… Need help?”

"What?" He turns back to me. “No, no thanks. I'm fine, everything’s fine,” He looks to his right again. Rosier, Regulus and some other Slytherin boys stare back at us.

"Peter? Sure you're okay? Are they bothering you?”

"I should go. Goodbye, Persephone,” He doesn’t wait for my answer and runs in the opposite direction from the others.

That was very strange.

My gaze returns to Regulus. I sigh when he continues on his way with his friends.

How did he take the news about Alphard? Or maybe he already knew. I wish I could talk to him like I used to.

***

After a month, our student life finally ends. Very strange weeks, from my physical therapy with Madame Pomfrey, the other therapy with McGonagall and Dumbledore, although this was not planned, but it helped a lot to talk to the real adults about everything that I went through.

They didn't provide any solutions to my questions, but I still appreciate the help and advice. Dumbledore had a lot of muggle metaphors and references. I hope that one day they serve me and it’s not just a sign that the Headmaster has already gone crazy.

The time with my friends and boyfriend was quite relaxing. Talking about the future with them no longer sounded so overwhelming. We all panic about what might happen, but at least we are together.

The graduation ceremony was quite emotional. Apollo, Jane and Atlas congratulated me. My friends met my family and the little boy loved the attention, although he’s still a bit upset with Sirius. He was expecting another small gift and when he received nothing, his approval disappeared.

Only until the day of the big party where everyone wore their best clothes, did I realize that it was all over. Next year we won’t return to Hogwarts.

No more jokes in the hallways, late-night meetings with Remus, we no longer have to try to calm Lily before exams. We’ll no longer be able to see the gardens, go to the kitchens. One more minute trying to remember my entire experience in a magic school and I’ll cry.

"Several people are upset because they continue to trip near our table,” says Sirius handing me a glass of punch. “Do you have any idea what it could be? Because, it can't be you. You don't have the cane anymore,” He smiles raising an eyebrow.

“Maybe it's their long dresses. They must watch that,” I smile innocently and he shakes his head.

Oh, boy. Sirius looks like a real star. His long hair is slicked back, his tux fits him perfectly, and that beautiful smile lights up the entire room. Since when did I become such a cheesy girl? I don't know, but I blame him. Him and his perfect face.

"Admiring me again, darling?”

"I can't help it," I say without regret. Why should I?

"You flatter me, but you’re not the only one in front of someone dazzling.”

I laugh out loud.

"Are we really flirting that bad?" He laughs too.

“I don't think we ever tried. It's fun,” He drags his chair closer to me and puts his arm on the back of my chair. "This party is not so bad, is it?”

"I'm sorry I can't dance any longer. I feel like I will sound like an old woman, but my knees can't take it anymore.”

“Don't worry. I like to be here. Only with you,” He kisses my temple. I lean on his shoulder.

The others must be having fun. They laugh, dance and sing to the rhythm of the music. I think this is the first time I've seen Lily and Remus so relaxed. I'm even beginning to doubt if they didn’t get drunk prior the party, but I don’t judge, we are all of legal age.

Sirius and I listen to the music changing from afar to a slow, romantic song. James and Lily don't hesitate to be the first to share it. Some people are still a bit shocked by their official relationship, but I think it doesn't matter at this point. Jenna and Marlene dance near them. They all look so cute, and even Remus got his last dance, although it didn’t last long.

“Percy," Sirius calls after a while. I turn to see him. "Uh, there’s something I should talk to you about.”

"Are you pregnant?”

He laughs. "Not yet.”

"What's going on?”

“I know that after all this, you’ll continue to live with Apollo, but I wanted to ask you something. You don't have to answer me now, not even this week. I just want to give you the idea and you have time to think about it,” He says nervously.

“Okay?" I say confused.

"I wanted to know… Okay, the other day I got to know how much money my uncle Alphard left me and I was thinking about maybe using that money to buy an apartment. Not that is not cool with the Potters or anything. It's just that, I think it would be a good idea.”

"That's great, Sirius.”

Sirius living alone in an apartment, could be fun, watching him solve all the domestic problems alone and stuff.

“Yeah, that's what Euphemia and Fleamont said, even James, but I also thought– Maybe you… Uh, well, do you want to move in with me?”

“What?"

His nerves increase.

“Only if you want, you know. There is no pressure and it's not because we have to do something else, I don't want you to misunderstand things,” He speaks quickly. "I thought it’d be great to be with you and it’s also safer, we would protect each other. As usual.”

"Sirius, I don't know.”

“Think about it, love. I'll see some places with the Potters, everything will be fine no matter what you decide. When you’re ready you can tell me.”

Live with Sirius? Just the two? I'm not going to lie, it sounds good. But I still feel like I'm not physically ready yet and I'd be better off with Jane and Apollo. Just for a while.

But, moving in with my boyfriend. Not in a million years would I have thought of that possibility.

***

I didn't think I would cry on my last day. Right now I have to leave the room that I shared for seven years with Jenna. But what surprises me the most is that I’m not crying about leaving school, but because of the little letter that I found on my pillow.

Dear Persephone,

Despite all the problems we've had, I always considered you a sister. Part of my family, with or without my parents.

Hopefully one day you can forgive me for my past and future actions.

I can only tell you that I will always think of you in any and it is never my intention to hurt you in any way. I hope your life is better than mine. Take care of my older brother and your future together.

Since I met you, I discovered that my family motto is wrong. Family does not always have to be pure.

I will always love you, Persephone.

Do not worry about me. I will take care of you from afar.

Reggie x

I fold the letter, hold it to my chest, and squeeze it against me. In an ideal world, Regulus would be with us celebrating a new era. I’d be holding him so tight that he would complain. In an ideal world, I would protect one of my best friends forever.

***

"And I thought you wouldn't buy any nonsense with the inheritance money," I say crossing my arms.

"What are you talking about, Singh?" James says squealing like a little kid. "This is the coolest thing I've ever seen!”

"Your child is overexciting mine, Persephone,” says Lily to my side.

“It's not like he can help it. He thinks he can do things by himself,” I wince.

"You don’t like it?" Sirius pouts. He is seated on the new bike that he just bought.

"If I thought before that you could kill yourself with a broom, now I think you will kill yourself with that, darling,” I smile sarcastically.

"But do you like it?”

I roll my eyes.

"Yes, Sirius. It's pretty.”

James and Sirius keep talking about… things I don't understand. They both laugh and point to each part.

"I didn't think they would really do it,” Remus says from my left side. Lily and I look at him in surprise.

"You knew?”

“I thought they were joking,” he sighs. “Seven years and I keep falling for this. My bad.”

"Sirius, do you know how we could make this bike even cooler?”

"I hear you.”

"How about we use a little magic?”

"You, my friend. You’re a genious!" Sirius points out.

"This just keeps getting worse," says Lily.

“I don't want to see more. I have therapy,” I say and enter Apollo's house leaving Lily in mom mode with the two children and their new toy.

"Auntie, Phoney!" Atlas greets me from the chair that he shares with his mother, who is preparing some things for my therapy.

"Nephew, Atlas! I just saw you five minutes ago, but it's nice that you continue to get excited when you see me!” I sit next to him and tickle his little head. He laughs, but then he looks behind me. “Remooh." He points it out.

Remus smiles at the little boy and sits in a single chair.

"Don't you want to be with your friends?" I ask teasingly.

“They are very close to drooling on the bike. Atlas behaves better than them.”

"Yes?" The boy asks and we laugh.

"That's right, my love.”

"Ready?" says Jane. Then the torture begins.

At first it was very difficult, I couldn't help screaming, but now it's better. I do my best to relax or at least endure the pain.

"Just a couple more weeks and you'll be better,” reports my sister-in-law. She smiles. “And now, talking about the two children outside. You better get used to it. You’re lucky that Sirius chose a motorcycle. Your brother gets like this every time he gets an old coin. Ever since he knew it was a muggle hobby, he was interested in it. He has a huge collection.”

“No wonder my brother is so weird. Since we were little, he got excited about very boring things all the time…”

“Actually, collecting coins is more interesting than you think,” Remus adds and I look at him with a raised eyebrow. "Ok, I get it.”

"It hurt?" Atlas asks pointing at my leg.

“Not so much anymore.”

"I'll help you,” He leans towards me and with my help he gets up a little and kisses my cheek.

"Thanks, Atlas," I laugh.

"Will you hit me if I say you look nice with a baby?" Remus says with a mischievous smile.

“Hit you? Persephone!” Jane scolds me.

“Don't believe him, Janie. It is an exaggeration.”

“When she had the cane, she tripped me and I told her that if she kept complaining about the pain, no one would want to help her. I still have the bruise.”

"You have such a weak skin,” I pout.

Jane laughs shaking her head.

"But I still think you should have a baby.”

I roll my eyes.

"I already have one and he bought a motorcycle when I wasn't looking at him.”

"Wouldn't you like to have children, Persephone?" asks Jane.

"I don’t know. Maybe. I like children, I just don't know if I want to have one. They’re better when I can return them to their parents,” They both laugh. “What about you, Wolfie?”

"First I need a girlfriend.”

"Oh yeah. I almost forgot!” I roll my eyes. “Answer me.”

“Maybe," Remus replies.

"Well, for now I'll just be the favorite aunt of two children," I kiss Atlas's cheek.

Jane gets up when she finishes healing me.

"Yes, speaking of which…”

"What's going on?”

She smiles nervously.

"You will be an aunt to three babies.”

"What?" I screech.

“They're twins,” She announces.

"You and my brother need another hobby,” I grimace.

"Wow, three children!” Remus says surprised. "And so fast! Percy, can you imagine your children being friends with James and Lily's? It would be total chaos!”

"Oh, don't go to that dark place, Remus. You would be the official babysitter of that chaos,” I joke.

“Oh, no…”

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#pure blood #sirius black #Sirus Black x reader #Persephone Singh #james potter #Remus lupin #regulus black #Lily Evans #Harry Potter #harry potter fanfiction #twoidiots writing

[020may]

a message to my teens...

I’m starting this letter to myself on May 15, 5 days before I turn 20. As my teen years come to an end, I want to take the time to reflect a bit on who I am, as I venture into my twenties.

13

13 was the age that you graduated elementary school, and started high school. 

I remember being scared of the change into high school, and all the scary upperclassmen. I was worried how it would feel to not be in the same class all day with all the same classmates. But in a way, I suppose, I was excited to meet new friends. I was always told that in high school you make friends that you keep for a long time. And, I’m still friends with them today.

You wrote a letter to your future self when you were 13. In it you talked about how you were upset about the lack of a proper graduation ceremony and not being able to go to Playland or Cultus. I suppose I still wish we got to go, I know it would’ve been so fun. But I had other chances to go, and I had other opportunities to spend time and make memories with my friends and classmates. Something that you mentioned in your letter was that you were upset that you couldn’t walk criss-cross into the seats, and how it's the little things like this that make the ceremony something worth remembering. I don’t want to invalidate your feelings in any way, I know it was really upsetting, but I want you to know, in the future you completely forgot that walking in criss-cross was a thing. You’ll feel better about this with time.

14

To be honest, I don't feel like I can explicitly recall anything memorable from 14. I think this was when you started making some new friends, some of your closest friends to this day. I hope it brings you comfort to know that whatever troubles you were facing, future you doesn’t remember. Those social studies tests you worried and stressed so much about don’t mean anything now. Whatever grade you got on a project, really doesn’t affect you in the future.

15

I remember, when you turned 15, you had this epiphany of “oh my gosh I’m old”. 15 seemed like that age you always saw in movies and books and tv shows, and now all of a sudden you were that age. There was that time when you went to Vancouver Island, and at the ferry station, you were asked your age, and you weren’t used to being 15 so you said 14. It was a weird moment, and marked the moment where I started to become so self conscious of my age. At this age I started feeling old. (looking back you really were so young). 

I think it was at this age, school started getting a bit more busy and started mattering more to you. Your course load was definitely harder than in grade 8 and 9, and grade 10 marks started showing up on your transcript. I think you were learning for the first time on how to deal with all of these tests and assignments and projects. It 15 was the first time you started feeling overwhelmed at times, and sometimes you had dark thoughts. I want you to know that you got through it all. That despite those worries you had, things were okay. You were strong.

16

You made a portfolio for Mr. Roberts’s English 10H class. It’s really nice to look back on sometimes. I hope that you’ll make one in the future again, or rewrite some of the stuff in there. 16 was another special age of growth. I think when you were 16, that’s when you started to really care about how you looked. And that meant you felt insecure a lot. And that meant you hated the way you looked a lot, you hated it so much. 

You were in grade 11, and you started to feel pressure about university and what you would study in the future. Looking back in my diary, I can tell that you were stressed and you were lost and you were tired. I hope you know things will be okay. It’s okay to be lost sometimes. I hope you can learn to lean on the people around you. And don’t stress too much about university, you made it to one in the end.

17

At 17, you entered your last year of high school. 17 was another where I think I had an epiphany about my sudden oldness. I think the beginning may have been tough, you were worried about SATs and universities and essays and you doubted yourself a lot. At this age you started to care a bit less about others. Maybe it was because you were now part of the oldest students at school, and maybe it was because you knew all your classmates a bit better. You started to care a bit less about others, and you felt a bit more comfortable with class presentations, felt a bit more comfortable just being loud with your friends, but I know deep down you still cared a lot about what others thought. But I'm proud of how far you’ve come. I know at this age you definitely started reflecting a lot on your younger self, and you started thinking a lot about how you wished you did things differently when you were younger. I hope that you learn that this means you can start to change things going forward.

I think 17 was also an age where you started having more adventures with your friends, or just going out with them more. It was likely because you had more time after uni apps. But I really liked it. Artona pics, going out to eat, everything. They’re all precious memories. I think 17 was a really happy year for you.

18

18 was a very special age to you, and it’s a very special age to me now. It was a year of transition. Officially, you became an adult. You were old enough to vote. You graduated high school, and you moved to university. It was a new start into your adulthood, although it didn’t feel so much like adulthood and felt more like “what-the-hell-am-I-doing-hood”. A lot happened at 18. 

At 18, you finished your last month of high school. Honestly, it was the best month of high school. You went to prom, you spent lots of time with your friends, had many new experiences. You graduated high school, and on the last day when you were getting your yearbook signed, you saw a lot of classmates for the last time. A lot of people you realized you would no longer have any reason to see anymore. After graduating high school, you and your friends went on a grad trip. You went to Korea and Taiwan with them, and later to Shanghai by yourself. It was the best summer. It’s one that I think I will always look back on. A trip representing youth. I miss it a lot.

You then moved to Toronto to go to University. In high school, you were always excited by the thought of University. You looked forward to the independence, being able to go out with friends late at night, and being in downtown Toronto, where it was easy to go anywhere. But you remember right? You were so scared when you first moved. You cried on the first night. Some time throughout the year you cried many times. You missed home. You missed the comfort of being in a city you knew. It was hard. You were also shy, and had a hard time making new friends. I want to tell you that it’s okay. It’s okay to cry and miss home, it’s okay to feel lonely. It’s okay. You’ll be okay.

And then covid-19 hit and you got sent home. And things started getting weird.

19

And this is where I am now. It’s May 19, 10:30pm and I’m trying to finish this letter before midnight hits. 

This year was definitely special, not just for me but for the whole world. I spent the entirety of being 19 stuck in this pandemic. (I truly hope things can go back to normal soon.)

19 was definitely a tough year, and I really struggled a lot. With school being online, I found it hard to stay focused and motivated, and I fell behind a lot. I felt isolated. My mental health really plummeted, and I think it was lower than it has ever been in my life. I cried a lot, I was sad a lot, I thought about death a lot. It was a dark time, especially in the first half. I felt lonely a lot too. 

I think I started to get a bit better with a bit of time, and I was able to carry on with a schedule. I’ve been happier, but I’ve also been sadder. This year just seemed to pass by, with days bleeding into each other. School scares me, and the future scares me. It’s hard to think that in less than 2 years I will be graduating and moving even further into adulthood. I’m so scared. I don’t think I can handle the responsibilities, and I don’t think I can manage everything, and I feel overwhelmed just thinking about it. I’m scared of growing up. I’m really scared.

Going into my twenties, I’m scared of so many things that lie ahead. My teen years have always felt like they were supposed to represent my youth. Leaving that behind and walking into what seems like a completely new world is scary. But I hope I can learn to trust myself just a little bit more.

Good luck...

From, 

19 year old Jessica

#jess writes

[steveusesfaberge]

Better Parent (pt.iii)

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Henderson!Reader

Summary: Kicked out of the house by their own kids...they take to the streets on this cool summer’s night. Steve ends up taking Y/N to a quiet little spot...finally taking a word from the boys’ books and just...telling her. Even after everything, Steve obviously still thinks he’s the better parent...but...he’s had the sudden idea that...it doesn’t matter...

Type/Style: Imagine, female pronouns

Warning(s): Fluff, fluff, fluff, fluff~, dorky Steve, heed all warnings… Oh, and a bit of cursing! >.<

Word Count: +4,050

a/n: This is part 3 of Better Parent! I loveddd writing this so, I hope you all enjoy it as much as I do! I’m just jamming to some feel-good music...and this fluffy rollercoaster came to be...I hope it’s okay!

Really all the support though for this mini-series...you’ve floored me...two days...and...I know it may not be much, but seeing so many people appreciate what I’m doing, even if it’s just one or two...I’m satisfied. So...thank you all <3 :)

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 (you are here)

Please send requests! I’m excited to write for you all! <3

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(not my gif :))

Being locked out of the house wasn’t fun. Being locked out of the house by your own damn children...that’s betrayal at it’s finest. Steve understood this was their way of...helping him out...but...he didn’t even have his car keys, let alone his wallet (and he was sure Dustin had punched him in the gut on the way out). What was he supposed to do? He racked his brain for anything - anything at all!

Walking distance...no money required...perfect for a nice talk...Got it.

“Where are you taking me, Harrington?” She asked him with a voice laced in curiosity. It was quite late; not many house lights were on and the only light so far, were the scattered streetlamps. It didn’t help that there weren’t many places open. 

The Nightly Double was even closed - which was the only movie house that played two movies a night. Steve had taken the kids there a few times, and of course, he’d ask Y/N too - how could she refuse him when he flashed such a charming smile anyway? They’d seen Back to the Future, (rewinds of) Ghostbusters, and one of Steve’s personal favorites - The Goonies, as their adventures reminded him of his troublesome party of six...

“Why do you sound so nervous, Y/N/N? You trust me don’t you?” he chuckled while they walked along the barren sidewalks, her arm looped in his, though he gave her directions as they went. It was quiet; their relaxed talking the only noise filling the silence in the crisp summer night. The stars were twinkling above and it only added to the ambiance.

“Is there a reason I shouldn’t?” She hummed while quirking a brow.

He offered her a soft smile, the wild beating that made up his heart seeming even more erratic in her presence. He blamed the lack of oxygen to his lungs - though it wasn’t his fault Y/N’s proximity had his head spin and simple body functions such as breathing, blinking, and talking shut down completely. He couldn’t help it if she were simply...herself.

“No,” he breathed while watching the ground pass by as they walked on into the night,” You can trust me.”

Have you ever fallen in love, Steve? He remembered her asking him that once. A night much like this - except, there hadn’t been the worry of being locked out of the Wheeler’s house without any of your belongings on a crisp summer night...

Steve had never really thought about it...love. As far as he knew, love wasn’t real if it shattered you before you got the chance to embrace it. I...I dunno. I’ve tried to love - but I don’t know...if it was...love. He admitted, after helping Dustin with Dart...and fighting off demodogs with his sister - his relationship with the Hendersons only grew. It allowed him to answer Y/N that night so...honestly.

It was a nice way of realizing that Wheeler hadn’t loved him back like he wanted her to. He’d had the thought that maybe it wasn’t her he loved and missed, but he missed love itself. The feeling of adoration and understanding - sharing compassion and a heart with someone - the ultimate form of trust. He hadn’t loved Nancy...he loved the idea of loving someone - well...it only could last for so long he supposed. Because he knew deep down she’d never really love him the way he craved (he’d have been an idiot not to see the way she glanced at Byers). You tried to love? What...what happened? Her voice had been so delicate, so endearing - as if Y/N already felt his pain without even knowing the story.

I guess, I realized...I was trying too hard, I think... Maybe I wasn’t trying enough, y’know? It...just didn’t work out, and who was I to try and...keep broken glass together? He couldn’t explain it - but that night, as he listened and exchanged mind and heart with Henderson’s older sister...he felt something. He didn’t want to face it then, but that something was more than just something... Steve Harrington had decided he’d never fallen in love before.

Not like this.

You’ll find love one day. I know you will. That’s what she’d told him. When he asked how she knew, she had only given a soft hum, mulling over the answer carefully. It stayed quiet between them for the time being as Y/N collected her thoughts. Steve hadn’t minded, he liked the way they could walk in peace and still communicate without saying anything at all...just being there spoke it all.

Eventually, they found themselves at a park and he recalled Y/N had sat on one of the swings, and he pushed her lightly from behind while waiting patiently for an answer he wasn’t sure he’d ever get. He could identify, that she’d worn a denim jacket, the air had been cold and Steve remembered teasing her whenever she wore it - asking if Hargrove was around.

Because everyone deserves love. Everyone has love, Steve. They just haven’t found it yet, or haven’t been given the proper chance to show it. When she had finally come to a resolution, he’d inadvertently suspended the swing’s motion. Yes, it had been a night just like this...a night like this, that he realized he was in love with Y/N.

They had walked for a while now, he genuinely couldn’t tell you if it had taken an hour or two...three minutes or four...Steve wasn’t quite sure - time seemed to slip his mind as the only thing he found to be existence was the girl beside him and the darkness that was drawn in streaks of black across the sky.

“Are you gonna tell me why we’re out in the middle of nowhere?” She asked while the comforting resonance of timid night washed a serene path for them to follow. “When we get there - you’ll understand,” he mused. Y/N nodded, not really minding all that much...so long as Steve was with her, she didn’t care. She knew that he’d never lead her to danger, and she also knew that if he wanted to make it a surprise, so be it.

Of course, she was nervous...who wouldn’t be? He was...The Steve Harrington...and yet, when she had told him that a year or so back - he’d only shrugged it off. So what? She had been flabbergasted. So what? -- Steve, you’re like...every girls’ dream...like, the total package! He hadn’t believed her, and even so, it seemed to disappoint him in a way.

What’s wrong? Did I say something wrong? Y/N had obviously been worried she’d done something to upset him - and that was the last thing she wanted. They had just beaten off demodogs, closed a damn Gate, and Dustin was attending his first school dance officially... And to top it all off, she and The Hair had walked until they found a quaint park at a corner-stop. If she somehow managed to screw this up with a simple sentence she was seriously considering just finding a rock to die under...

No...nothing wrong...I...I just...I don’t want you to be nervous. She hadn’t understood him, and when she voiced this, she had seen as Harrington, who she’d known all her life (though he may have just never noticed her until recently...she’d not ask him) as the boy who was...king of the world...King Steve...as he liked to call it, him and his fraudulent friends. To see him suddenly so...lost...it...made her feel a twig of pain.

Okay then, I’m not nervous. He had laughed at that acknowledgment. I just...I don’t wanna be known as The Steve Harrington, you know? Like...it...it’s not the best title to shine...and I don’t think being Prom King will do anything for me when I graduate high school except mark me forever as the ass who thought he ran the world.

You always fall in love with the most interesting people; at the most random of times...this...this had been Y/N’s. She hadn’t expected such a heartfelt, moving speech from Steve; shocking her, even more, to see he wasn’t quite finished.

I want to be known for...being...well...just Steve Harrington. Does...does that make sense? She had nodded, a loss for words because - yes - she knew exactly, what he meant. She was just an ordinary girl, the sister of Henderson for Christ’s sake! If he wanted normal...well...she had been living normal, as a nobody (up until they’d met Eleven...becoming a world-saving nobody, yet she hadn’t cared because to the people who cared about her...she was somebody. Realizing this...Steve didn’t have a somebody). Y/N had just never believed The Steve Harrington was capable of making such sense as so. But, she was doubting him - just as he’d explained he knew people would...and she thought herself a fool to do such a thing.

How about - we start over, then? I’ll go first... The small smile on her lips... if only she’d known how much it affected him - if she’d known...maybe things would’ve been different...but...alas...you can’t rush love.

Hello, I’m Y/N Henderson...it’s nice to meet you, Steve Harrington. Their night had drawn on, and with it, she found her self drunk on the cold winter air and the stars blinding her mental filter. She’d asked him if he’d ever loved before...even as he answered, asking his own questions - she felt like a hypocrite - because the advice she gave was so...defective...how could she give such poetic word with such hope and perception when she herself, had fallen in love with; not the Steve Harrington...but..just Steve...in a single night’s wish...

“Okay, we’re almost there - oh, maybe close your eyes?” Steve said with a slightly hesitant nature, not really telling her to do so...but asking her in his own suave style. She nodded. God...how you’ve changed, Harrington.

Y/N closed her eyes and Steve grabbed both her hands, leading her forward the rest of the way. He was her guide through the dark of the forest they’d strayed into, and he didn’t mind the way she squeezed his fingers when she stumbled or squeaked in fright when a low-hanging branch snagged her. Does she know how much I’ve changed...for her?

“Okay...now, don’t take another step...you might...uh...fall-- but! Like...don’t worry! It’s not like a cliff or something crazy! I’m just saying--,” he instantly rambled on, losing himself to his own embarrassment. A slur of words strung together by a red face and his swimming conscious.

When she starting laughing, he let his breath go. He knew it was okay...so he calmed down...and then placed his hands over her still closed eyes - adding to the dramatic effect of it all. “Okay, on the count of three...sound good, Henderson?” He asked while just barely pressing his chest to her back - he didn’t draw her as close as his heart ached for - mainly because Steve was sure Y/N could hear his excessive heartbeat now and was probably questioning the harsh, hummingbird-like vibration.

“One.” I wonder if he knows...

“Two.” I wonder if she knows...

“Three.” What you’ve done to me...

Opening her eyes as she felt the pressure of his warm hands pull away, Y/N was starstruck to be greeted by a stilled stretch of silver water. The lake was surrounded by tall trees that drug shadows of night with them. Glints of summertime fireflies were seen in the distance as if competing with the stars in a battle of wits. They were stood in a clearing, a limestone ledge that overlooked the lake’s vast reflection. The moon was so...clear...Y/N wondered if she could touch it. The stars all cast an image of themselves on the silver surface; in the dead of night...she couldn’t tell the difference between sky and water. The horizon only being defined by the darkened tree line, even then, she questioned if it was real...

Steve watched her open her eyes slowly, eyelashes brushing the top of her cheeks with such a delicate wind, it had him stare with wonder. The tall woods around the lake made her look so small...it ignited the sense of urgent protection in him to take care of Y/N...just in case their small world decided to flip itself upsidedown. He was a few inches behind her, his hands hesitating in the air beside her hips - unsure of what to do - but he was lucky the view had swept all her attention away...Steve could fret in his own silence for a few seconds longer.

He had noticed Y/N’s glances to the moon...standing atop the limestone outcrop - he wondered if...if...he could touch it. If Y/N wanted it - he’d get it for her. Steve would steal the stars, one by one if she said her room was too dark to sleep peacefully. He’d keep them in a glass jar, and when she got scared...he’d remind her to count them as they swirled inside the small container. To hold it closer and closer to her if she were fearful.

And over time, if she was still scared - and those stars faded and dimmed to dust...he’d offer her the last thing he could...his heart. Keep it close to you...okay? Don’t let it go, and when you get scared, you pull it to your chest...I’ll be there for you - always... He’d tell her that all she needed to do was ask him...and he’d give it all for her.

“Steve...,” she murmured, standing still in disbelief of the beauty caving in on her. Y/N felt like she were in a picture - maybe Jonathan had been the mastermind behind this all, and really, she was just a person in one of his photos...

But, she knew that couldn’t be true - because the weight of Steve’s warm arms circling her middle could never be replicated. This was better than picture-perfect.

“I...know...it’s...um...kinda weird...and random...for me to drag you all the way out here. Just to look...at some dumb lake...,” he was slowly losing his cool. Earlier that day, when he’d driven the boys home - and he’d almost broken in front of them...the desperation and hurt he’d feigned...it was seeping back into his bones; escaping through his low tone and tight grip on Y/N.

He’d never been so bold as to embrace her like this...even now, he could feel his heart slamming against his ribcage like a small bird desirous for freedom. Steve knew if he didn’t hold her, he’d fall...and he’d continue to fall because there was simply no end to his rabbit hole.

It was like the world stopped spinning on its axis...and if it hadn’t, then they’d discovered the only place in Hawkins where time stood still (but from what Y/N had seen throughout the past few years...she wouldn’t say it was impossible).

“Weird? No, this...is amazing...how did you find this place?” Y/N asked, not minding the heat spilling from Harrington stood behind her. She gingerly placed her hands over his, unsure of the situation still, but when it seemed as if he weren’t going anywhere anytime soon...she leaned into him completely.

“Oh...my parents have a cabin around here somewhere...it’s not that close, but I know the general area,” he told while trying not to scream to the night that he was so hopelessly in love...

“It’s beautiful here,” Y/N complimented.

“Yeah...I figured you’d like it...I kinda knew you’d say that,” Steve replied with a warm simper on his lips as he rested his chin on her head.

She giggled. “And how did you know this, Harrington?”

“It’s gonna sound cheesy...but...I thought pretty things were drawn to one another...,” he admitted, not being able to see Y/N’s full reaction - as he couldn’t see her face.

“Hm,” she was quiet for a moment, but the next words to fall from her lips left Steve chuckling - wondering how he’d even manage to hold such a serious serenity for so long anyway... “You and Hargrove are both pretty...and you hate each other.”

Steve pulled away from Y/N, blind to the way her heart fell in her chest at the retreat of warmth. He spun her around and narrowed his eyes at her, a playful scowl lighting his lips. “You think he’s pretty, Henderson?”

“I don’t deny a man’s best features, Harrington,” Y/N teased while raising an eyebrow, her y/c/e eyes lifting to glance to Steve’s overproduced head of hair.

Steve scoffed dramatically, and when she laughed, it echoed into the gentle night marvelously. “So...you like his face?” He was clearly teasing Y/N, but he did wonder if maybe he’d been reading it all wrong...

“Sure, I do. Most anyone with eyes thinks he’s a hunk,” her response pulled an eye-roll from Steve. “But...I like your face too, Harrington.”

That...made his soul sing...yeah...that got him weak. “You do?”

Y/N felt the heat rising to her face...she felt like it wasn’t twelve or so at night, but twelve or so in the morning a damn hot day too. She prayed it didn’t show (sadly it did, but Steve was an utter dork for her rosy cheeks so he stayed quiet, knowing he wasn’t in any better shape).

“I do...,” she breathed.

“Is that all you like about me?” He asked Y/N while watching her dainty features change ever so slightly with each expression she provided.

“I...I like everything about you,” Y/N admitted, her y/c/h hair lifted slightly in a carrying cool breeze. “Everything?” Steve echoed.

“Yeah...,” Y/N confirmed with a heavy silence to follow.

It was in that moment, that they lost themselves...fully, lost themselves. Steve wasn’t sure what had overcome him, but his eyes had fluttered shut and he was craning his neck to align their lips perfectly. His heart swallowed into his throat as his mind went blank on him. It was like he’d forgotten how to kiss a girl...Oh, come on! Don’t do this to me now, brain!

Y/N’s own heart wasn’t in any better of a condition...she too was hoping it didn’t burst and fly from her chest. That... wouldn't be ideal. But with confidence she decided to borrow from the girls' words earlier...she pressed her lips to Harrington’s...sealing their fate. (The girls had questioned if she and Steve would ever get together...romantically, that was...and Y/N had explained to them they were only friends...and...that’s all they’d ever be...following that, they offered advice to win his dumb heart over, in Max’s words.)

Fireworks? No. Butterflies? No. Electricity? Not quite. The feeling that shook through Steve’s body really couldn’t be described with such a simple phrase. The best he could put it was; imagine seeing a shooting star - except this shooting star was small enough to fit in your palm. You decided to kiss that star, and with it...your dreams came true...everything on the inside was burning, but it didn’t hurt...it was blinding...but you could see clearly...your breath was caught; stolen away...but you didn’t mind catching it again...

He felt fingers sift through his hair, and he smiled into the kiss. Y/N’s hands only grounding him further into reality...making him realize that...this...was real. She...was real.

He was real...this was real...Y/N proved that to herself when she felt the tight grip around her waist, the large hand holding her face close. She smiled into the kiss, Steve only grounding her further into reality.

Pulling away breathless, Steve could only laugh. He laughed, and he laughed, and he laughed. Y/N couldn’t help it, her face lighting pink - her own laughter traveling with his as they tried to control it. Their excitement too much to handle all at once. Luckily, they had each other to share it with.

“You know...I really wanted to do that,” Steve told in between gasps of air and laughter.

“Did you now?” Y/N responded with a giggle.

“Mhmm...for...maybe...over a year or so...I dunno...a long time, that’s all I know,” he sputtered while grabbing her hands in his after composing himself. Before she could tell him that she felt the same way - he spun her around, his arms snaking at her waist. Around and around and around...as if maybe it’d help cool down their identical blushes.

“Can I say something else?” He asked with a beaming smile, her giggles subsiding once more as she was placed back on the earth.

“Sure, Steve.”

“I love you. I love you and I think I’ve always loved you, I just...needed some time to realize it...I’m...I’m sorry it took me so long.” His voice had fallen to a whisper and his chocolate eyes dodged down. If she had a camera, she’d have taken a photo of him - right then and there, because God...could he pull off the lovesick boy by the lakeside, contemplating life with the stars look better than anyone she knew...

Was he nervous to hear her answer? Well...yeah...just because she kissed him didn’t mean she returned those feelings (that’s what the nagging voice in his head susurrate anyway). In the heat of the moment, anything could happen...and as his mind wandered down those possibilities, he was drawn back to the present time when he heard the words he’d been dying to hear since that night of the Snowball Dance...since he helped Dustin do his hair...since the night that he fell in love with her...

“I love you too, Steve.”

“...Yeah?” He asked while squeezing her body to his in the tightest hug he could offer. He felt her arms slip around him, returning the embrace wholly, and it only had him love her more.

“Mhmm.”

“I’m scared...you won’t...love me like I do you, in the end, Y/N,” he murmured into her shoulder, pulling away from her somewhat. The sudden change of mood struck her high down and she quickly shook her head. She loved him! She did! She loved him so damn muc--

“Because you’ll hate me when you finally realize the kids think I’m the better parent.” He fooled.

Once Y/N realized what he meant, her head ultimately catching up with the rest of her that Steve was just being a moron; she glared at him - smacking the side of his head and shaking her own with a groan. “You just had to ruin the moment.”

“What! I figured since we’re so happy...we might as well settle it...I mean--,”

“You bring me to a gorgeous lake...and all you have to say, after confessing our love to one another...is that you’re better than me...how lovely, Harrington,” Y/N shot with a sarcastic note, yet, this was just like him...and she adored it...damn Harrington and his boyish ways.

“Aw, don’t be mad,” he pouted while she relocated, sitting down on the edge of the hangover - arms crossed, looking away from the brunette. A stubborn air about her. “Hmph.”

He frowned, but, had a sudden idea.

Slipping his jacket off, he placed the windbreaker over her own shoulders and then sat down beside her. He pulled her to his side and Steve rubbed his nose into Y/N’s neck, even with her soft whines and hisses of removal.

“We could honestly share the title...you know,” when she didn’t respond, he continued, playing along with her fake act of hurt.

“I mean...speaking of better parent...it takes...two...right? Like...why can’t we just be...the better parents. They do need a mother...and a father, after all,” Steve noticed the small grin beginning to crack on Y/N’s lips so he pushed further.

“Yeah...? And what’re you supposing we do, Harrington?”

“I mean to say...,” he started while tipping her chin up to look him in the eyes,” You wanna be their dad?” She snorted and rolled her eyes. Of course...

“You saying I’m not already?” Y/N quipped. Only being met by Steve’s hungry lips once more, because it really didn’t matter who was better...Y/N made him a better person...and Steve made her a better person...it didn’t matter who was the better parent...they raised the kids together anyway.

(Extended Ending)

“What’re they doing?” Max asked.

“Can you see them?” Mike pressed.

“Do you know where they are?” Will offered.

“Is he still with Y/N? - He better still be with my sister!” Dustin grumbled.

“They’re not like...ya know...,” Lucas trailed.

Eleven only smiled.

“They’re kissing.”

An eruption of cheers rung out through the basement. It turned out, they were pretty good at not only closing portals to otherworldly dimensions...but also pretty damn good at hooking their favorite babysitters up too.

Because in the end...they were all getting pretty damn tired of having to sit through their arguments of “I’m the better parent”... Took them too long to realize they were meant to do it together.

---

a/n footer: If you’d like to see more long/multi-part series, please let me know! :D I was thinking about doing one for Hargrove...how does that sound?

--

Tagged: (shoot me a message or whatnot, and I’ll always add you to my new tagged list~! :) )

@wefracturedmotivation

(Just those who I noticed asking for a pt.3...ha...I won’t tag you again if you do not wish to be tagged! :))

@sassisaluxury @foryoubarnes @etchedinsand @supernaturalcat7 @mairalynn416 @sadhwstudent @my-fandomful-life2 @ultrunning @christinawxxx @truthdaze @mollencollie

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington x henderson reader #stranger things imagine #dustin henderson x sibling reader #mike wheeler #lucas sinclair #max mayfield #eleven hopper #steve harrington fluff

[rosewater-chlxe]

everything | colby brock x reader

✖ Request: hi!! could i request an imagine for colby where you two are best friends and you end up fighting and splitting for a while, but then he sees you after a while hanging with other youtubers and misses you? and maybe you two end up rekindling and it’s just fluff?? thank you so much! 

✖ Colby Brock X Fem!Reader

✖ angst, fluff

✖ warning - slight nudity at the beginning but it’s innocent i swear

✖ masterlist

You and Colby have been best friends since high school. You were a year younger than him in high school, he helped you through your freshman year as he was a sophomore. You both understood each other, and that was something special. When he moved to LA after he graduated, it was a long distance friendship, and it was one of the hardest things you had ever been through. You had to wait out your senior year until you could move too. When you did make it to LA, it was like you had your other half again. You lived in the same apartment building as Colby as well, so you would never be that far away from him again. Though it was only a year away, it was hard, especially because it was your final year of high school. Everything is okay now though, everything is perfect. You never knew you’d be in LA with your best friend, but some of the greatest things can be unexpected. 

Today, you were filming a video with Mike and Kevin, some of Colby’s friends that have become yours as well. The video was a truth or strip, which Kevin convinced you to join. You had no idea how, but here you were, in Kevin’s kitchen, only wearing your undergarments. Mike was wearing only basketball shorts, and Kevin was just in boxers. You thought nothing of it, as you were all just friends so it was harmless fun. 

You heard a knock at the door, and the three of you started laughing at the situation you were being put in. “I’ll get it!” you stated, walking over to the door. You opened it and seen a familiar blue-eyed boy in front of you, making your eyes widen, his did as well. “Colby, I can explain, this is nowhere near what it looks like,” You said to him, talking with your hands. Colby looked behind you to see Kevin only in his boxers. He shook his head, clenching his fists and started walking away. You shut the door and raced around, putting your clothes back on. “Y/N, where are you going?” Mike asked, you could hear the concern in his voice. “We’re not finished yet,” Kevin added. 

A thousand thoughts washed out everything. Why would he have cared if it was something else anyway? Anger and pain was what you seen in his eyes, but why? Why would he be so upset? He didn’t even say a word, and usually Colby isn’t one to be so speechless.

Once your clothes were back on, you grabbed your things and ran out of the door. You eventually caught up with Colby right before he got in his car. “Cole!” You called out to him. He stopped in his tracks and turned to you. “I can’t believe you, Y/N.” He said sternly. “What do you mean? Colby, we were playing truth or strip, it was a harmless game,” You stated, starting to get frustrated, “Even if it was whatever you thought it was, why would it matter?” You asked. “You’re really that clueless?” he raised his voice, looking deep into your eyes. Colby had never snapped at you like that before. You were caught off guard, and you felt tears in your eyes form. You tried to hold them back, but one fell, followed by a few more. You then seen something else in Colby’s eyes. Guilt, and a pain that was worse than before. He looked like he wanted to say something that’s been held inside of his head for a million years, but he stopped himself. “I’m sorry,” He said, almost a whisper. You could hear the emotion in his voice. He quickly walked around his car and opened the door. “Where are you going? We’re not done here!” You stated. When you heard the car door close, even more tears started to fall. Within a few seconds, he was out of sight.

“Y/N?” You heard Kevin, followed by Mike. Without thinking, you buried your face into Mike’s chest and just cried. Mike and Kevin shot worried looks at each other. 

The next week and a half was full of you and Colby almost texting one another or calling one another, then deciding not to. it was full of trying to avoid one another in the apartment building. It was full of confusion and pain for you. It was full of hesitance, pain, and guilt for Colby. 

On your end, you didn’t know what happened. You hadn’t stopped thinking about it. Why would Colby think it wasn’t a harmless game? Why was he still upset even if it was? Why did he raise his voice? Why was it that when you looked into his eyes, you had seen emotions in him that you’d never seen before. Heavy emotions, strong emotions, mixed emotions. There was something inside of him that he just wanted to yell out and you could tell. 

On Colby’s end, he felt as if he was in a cage because there was a simple sentence that he couldn’t bring himself to say. Words that wouldn’t come out of his mouth, no matter how much he wanted them to. When he had seen those tears fall down your face, he was overwhelmed with guilt. He knew he shouldn’t have gotten so upset over something so simple, but he couldn’t help himself. Before he knew it was just for a youtube video, there was a feeling of weight on his shoulders and pressure on his chest. It was like he swallowed rocks, he didn’t know what to do. All he knew was that he was angry, jealous, and hurt. Even when he found out it wasn’t anything like what he thought it was, it still hurt him, and he knew why for the most part. 

He was watching a video you had been in, it was Jake’s video. As he watched and listened, it’s like everything in his mind was too loud to pay attention to anything but your face. The pain grew stronger as he thought about everything. As he thought about you.

His mind brought him back to the end of his junior year, the end of your sophomore year. That year was when he had an epiphany. Every time he seen you smile, every time you laughed, he would do the same without even knowing why you did so. He just knew that when you were full of joy, it made him happier than ever. Every time you felt pain, he would get overprotective, he would feel those emotions from you inside of him as well. He noticed the little things about you, being in total awe when you did simple things. He realized that out of everything, he wanted you to be happy. He didn’t want his feelings to get in the way of almost a decade of friendship, he didn’t want to take the risk. So, he silently sat back and watched as you talked to a crush of yours. He sat in silence when you danced with someone who wasn’t him at prom. Though he was in pain, he held everything in, and still has. It wasn’t just a high school crush. It wasn’t just a silly thought in the back of his mind. It was everything.

He quickly realized the video had ended when your voice wasn’t audible anymore, and he stopped zoning out. Something was racing in him but he couldn’t quite put a finger on what. He quickly threw on a shirt and without hesitance, he opened his apartment door and ran towards the elevator. Thoughts were entering and leaving his mind left and right, almost to the point where it was hard to concentrate. His heart was beating faster than it ever has, and his nerves were far from calm. 

You were sitting down on your sofa, just thinking about everything. You sighed, shaking your head as you picked up your phone and opened your messages to text Colby. As if on cue, you heard multiple knocks on your door. 

You eagerly walked over and opened it, seeing Colby who looked almost restless. “Listen, Colby, I-” 

Colby let himself in and shut the door, interrupting you, “I think I need to go first on this one. I’m so sorry for acting that way, and for saying that you were clueless, you’re not at all. I was an asshole, I shouldn’t have been upset. I just felt so angry, it was like I couldn’t control it? Still, not an excuse... Y/N, there’s something I’ve been holding back from telling you for a while. I’ve been so scared, and honestly I don’t know how I got here, or why I had the sudden urge to come to you,” he swallowed hard and took a deep breath, looking deep into your eyes, “Ever since the end of my junior year in high school, I’ve felt something for you that I’ve never felt before. Something that I couldn’t control no matter how hard I tried, no matter what I did, everything in my mind came back to you. I haven’t felt so hurt about a situation since I had to watch you dance with someone else at prom, and that was terrible.. I should have told you sooner, but I was terrified because I didn’t want to ruin our friendship.”

Suddenly, Colby was tearing up, opening and closing his mouth as an attempt to say what he’s wanted to for years. This is it. This can go one of two ways, he thought to himself. He also knew it was too late to back down. He knew that this was the right thing to do. A few tears started falling down his face and it broke your heart.

“I’m in love with you, Y/N.” 

And there it was. He looked at you expectantly, fear written all over his face. You started to tear up yourself as you were still working through each and every syllable that had fallen out of his mouth. Though you were speechless, you managed to say only a few words. However, those few words lifted all of the weight off of Colby’s shoulders and all of the pain he had ever felt having to deal with sitting in silence for all of those years. 

“I love you too, Cole.” 

The next thing you knew, your lips found Colby’s, and his arms wrapped around you. For Colby, it felt unreal, like a dream that he never wanted to wake up from. Not even a million sunsets could be as breathtaking and magical as right now. Not even being in control of all the stars in the sky could compare to having this moment. 

Once you both pulled away, you were both smiling as bright as possible. “Wanna know something?” you asked, laughing a little. He nodded in response, holding you closer to him. “I originally wanted to ask you to prom, but I was too scared,” You stated. “It’s not too late,” he said, making you question him. He pulled his phone out of his pocket, connecting it to your speaker. It played a slow, soft song, making you laugh.

He held out his hand for you to take, which of course you did. He spun you around once and pulled you close to him. You rested your head on his chest, your arms wrapped around his neck and his hands on your waist. The way he held you was as if once he let go, time would rewind and the moment wouldn’t have ever happened. “Hey, Colby,” you said, looking up at him, “I’m not going anywhere. I promise.” He softly smiled, his arms now fully around you. He replied with a passionate kiss, making you have even more butterflies.

The rest of the night was full of dancing, smiling, laughing, and finally showing affection towards one another. 

It wasn’t just a high school crush. It wasn’t just a silly thought it the back of his mind. It was everything. 

#colby brock #cole robert brock #colby brock x reader #sam and colby #colby brock x reader fluff #colby brock x reader angst #jake webber #kevin langue #mikes dead #colby brock fluff #colby brock angst #colby brock fanfiction #colby brock fanfic #colby brock fic #colby brock imagine #colby brock oneshot #cole brock

[lonestarbabe]

Holding Out For a Hero

Chapter 6: Levitating (AO3)

T.K. feels a little better, but then he feels a little worse

Carlos

The tour had been going well to Carlos’ surprise. Carlos had thought that might cancel it and send T.K. to rehab after the disastrous interview with that bastard Jenkins, but after vowing to never leave his house again in a fit of humiliation and self-hate, T.K. came around and had been adamant about not letting Jenkins drag him down. The story had been all over for weeks, enduring longer than most stories about T.K. did. Judd had been especially anxious. He’d had to make a lot of calls for damage control, and even when the calls were done, Judd still worried about T.K.’s mental health. He insisted T.K. see someone about it and had sent Carlos to hang out with T.K. on several occasions when Judd had business to attend to or Marjan was at work. Marjan had been practically living there. For once, T.K. didn’t seem to mind the hovering.

T.K. hadn’t wanted to face the world, Carlos had decided that T.K. could lock himself in his mansion all he wanted, but he couldn’t lock himself away from the people who cared about him, including Carlos because somewhere along the way, maybe pretty much right away, Carlos had liked T.K. Sometimes, he’d liked him for unfathomable things. Yet, T.K. was one of those people who was fun to be around when he wasn’t getting high and fucking dudes who used him like he was a piece of meat. After a few days of warranted upset, T.K. decided to take charge of his life, and he had Carlos bring him to Judd for an action plan. T.K. had gotten so sick after that meeting; after a night of wallowing, he’d decided that he wasn’t going to touch substances again. He was going to cut them all out cold turkey, and while Carlos was skeptical, T.K. seemed resolved to do it. Maybe too resolved. I know better than anyone that people who seem better aren’t always better. Taylor wasn’t, and he was smiling more than ever.

Taylor was a completely different situation, and Carlos didn’t want to draw parallels where they didn’t belong. I don’t even want to think about Taylor.  He didn’t want to project his past issues onto T.K. because that would only prevent him from doing his job, but even so, he didn’t want to let himself get too comfortable. From a young age, when there was little that he could control, he’d learned that the key to having control was being vigilant, not having too much hope, and expecting the worst. It’s a sucky outlook on life, but it’s the only one that I’ve got. I just need to remember that T.K. is not Taylor. He’s just a client, a client that I have soft spot for, but I can’t act like I have any right to get too involved.

They’d only been to five stops so far, but T.K. had been a delight, which had made Carlos feel like he was an episode of the Twilight Zone because Judd had explicitly said that tour T.K. was a nightmare, but the tour T.K. he’d seen was eerily dreamy. Carlos had gone to Judd about it, thinking that maybe T.K. was only acting so strange because it was the beginning of the tour. As was true every time that he went to Judd, Judd had basically patted him on the shoulder and told Carlos that he was doing excellent work. He’d shrugged and said, “Maybe it’s the new therapist,” which was also weird to Carlos. T.K. had accepted Grace’s carefully compiled lists of therapists without even making a snarky comment. He’d said thanks and gave Judd a big smile despite the way his hands been shaking. Sometimes the scariest problems were the ones that you couldn’t see. I can’t protect him from things he doesn’t share no matter how hard I try.

Carlos was hanging out around T.K. in T.K.’s dressing room, and it wasn’t because he needed to be there. He had other security measures that he could tend to, but they had a whole security team who would make sure things were taken care of, and T.K. had asked him to be there. For whatever reason, Carlos couldn’t find it in him to say that he was busy or that he didn’t think it was a good idea to get any more buddy-buddy than they already are. He’d relented when T.K. smiled at him. How pathetic is that? Disarmed by a single smile. Carlos couldn’t help that a happy T.K. was kind of the best person in the world.

Some of T.K.’s friends were there too. Well, Marjan and some of her friends from work who had tagged along to see T.K. at the LA show. They all seemed like cool people. He and Marjan had already gotten to know each other, and she was a good influence on T.K. Paul and Mateo seemed like upright people too. They told a bunch of stories about the calls they got, most of them regarding idiots who got hurt or set accidental fires. Carlos had stories of his own to share, excluding any names of course. He hadn’t had a lot of gigs but any one of them came with a funny story or two.

T.K. quietly listened, looking at ease. He didn’t add any stories of his own, even at Paul’s prodding. “Come on, you’re like the most popular singer in the world right now, and you don’t have any good stories.”

Marjan rolled her eyes. “Don’t get him started. Once T.K. starts talking about himself, he doesn’t stop.”

“Hey,” T.K. replied lightly, “that’s not true.”

Mateo nodded. “Yeah, I haven’t heard him say one thing about himself.” It wasn’t that T.K. had been a silent wallflower, but Carlos had noticed it too. He said a lot without saying much at all. Sometimes, when he was feeling out of his element, T.K. would only give vague details about himself, and maybe it was because he had to be careful about who he told what, but Marjan’s friends were probably safe. If they ever blabbed, Marjan would probably make sure that they never spoke again. They seemed earnest too, and while Carlos couldn’t just look at someone and know that they were okay, he had a pretty good eye for people who just wanted something and those who were sincere. His dad had been the former type, so he knew a thing or two about people who were just nice when they wanted you to do something for them without returning the favor. Dad convinced me to miss my prom to help him with one of his schemes, and then he couldn’t even show up to my high school graduation.

“What can I say? I lead a boring life.” He slung his arm over Carlos’ shoulder. T.K. loved casual touches, and they drove Carlos crazy in an “I need more” kind of way. It would be so easy to get engulfed in the ocean that is T.K. Strand.

“Oh come on, Strand,” Marjan said. “Tell them about the time you spilled tea on the Queen of England.”

“Wait what?” Mateo asked, eyes widening. Carlos had heard that story once when T.K. was high. T.K. had been laughing his ass off and Carlos had just been trying to keep him from doing

Paul added in, “You really let us talk about a dude getting his junk stuck in a piece of wood when you spilled tea on the Queen of England.” He was laughing heartily at the thought.

“That story is a lot better than meeting a rich old lady. I’m pretty boring, believe it or not.” And I’m Swedish royalty. If T.K. was boring, Carlos’ job would have been a lot easier.

“It’s not as funny as that time you tripped going onto the stage at the VMA’s.”

“Marjan, did you really have to bring up my most humiliating moment?” By the way, T.K. was grinning, Carlos didn’t think he was all that humiliated by it.

Carlos nudged T.K. with his elbow, “You nearly fell off the stage Wednesday when you were singing Bitter Honey.”

“That was bad, but that’s not more humiliating than when you puked on stage?”

“I didn’t puke on stage. I went off stage.”

“Everyone could still see you, Strand.”

“I was what? Fifteen? I was doing my best.” Carlos couldn’t imagine being under the public eye at fifteen.

“Ouch. Fifteen is a hard age for everyone,” Mateo said.

“Being fifteen sucks,” Paul commented, a darkness in his eyes.

“It sure does,” T.K. agreed. Carlos nodded. A lot of shit had happened when Carlos was fifteen. A lot of shit happened every other year as well, but at fifteen things have a way of feeling extra shitty. Fifteen had been when Carlos had told his parents that he was gay, and honestly, nothing had changed. They didn’t care about him enough to care that he was gay. T.K. glanced at Carlos, looking nervous.

“I came out when I was fifteen,” Carlos said without thinking. It wasn’t like T.K. didn’t know that Carlos was gay, but they’d never much talked about gayness, so it felt strange to Carlos to talk about it, and maybe that meant that he wasn’t talking about it enough.

“I was eighteen,” T.K. said. Technically, T.K. hadn’t come out, he’d been outed by a thirty-year-old asshole who he’d been “dating,” Carlos used the word lightly because clearly a thirty-year-old with a fresh-faced eighteen-year-old doesn’t feel right. T.K. hadn’t even gotten his GED yet. The news about T.K. being gay had been everywhere. Even Carlos had heard about it, and Michelle always joked about his lack of pop culture awareness. “I don’t know if I could’ve handled being out at fifteen. My career might have plummeted.”

“When I realized I was bi a few years ago, I thought it was the end of the world. I thought that there was no reason to come out, but I’m so grateful that I had a best friend who shook some sense into me.” She gave T.K. a fist bump. “Now, I can’t believe I didn’t know I was sooner.”

“Accepting yourself can be the hardest part. My parents were very accepting of all kinds of people, so I think they would have been okay with me being trans, but even then, coming out felt like the worst thing in the world. My parents died before I told them, so I wish I’d been able to tell them, but it is what it is.” The conversation’s taking a dark tone, but T.K. seemed more interested in this than anything else.

T.K. gave a sympathetic look, face growing weary. “Sorry man, that sucks. It’s hard when you don’t have time to tell people what you need to say. I wish I’d been able to tell my…um… my dad, but sometimes life doesn’t give you that choice, and it never doesn’t suck.”

Marjan looked to Carlos, sagging slightly. She and Carlos are both concerned. They both know that the word dad doesn’t roll off T.K.’s tongue easily, and the feeling in the room shifts because of it. It’s gotten quiet and T.K.’s easy-going demeanor has receded just enough that Carlos is starting to feel anxious. One little thing can easily cause T.K. to spiral, and T.K.’s been okay lately, but he may be living on borrowed happiness. Don’t let this be an incident. Take charge of this before you lose control of the situation, Carlos. T.K. was getting fidgety, and Carlos was scrambling to find a way to calm him.

“Marj, don’t go all quiet on me. A little dead dad talk isn’t going to throw me over the edge.” Except it did last time his dad was mentioned. T.K.’s not angry, not right now, probably because Paul and Mateo were in the room, but his tone was too forced and sounds passive aggressively angry. Basically, everyone knew to dread carefully. I need to defuse this situation before it gets worse. If T.K. catches the uncomfortable glances that Paul and Mateo are sharing, he’ll freak out, so Carlos called T.K.’s name, making T.K. look over to him. T.K.’s eyes snap over, looking frantic.

“I know that,” Marjan answered, but she didn’t sound sure, and with all Marjan’s confidence, when she didn’t sound sure, she wasn’t.

Carlos made a show of looking at his watch. “You need to get ready for the show now. It’s getting late.”

Marjan caught on, and stood up, leaning down to hug T.K. “Teek, I’ll talk to you after the show, okay? Maybe we can meet up at your house or you can come to mine.”

T.K. nodded, calming at the touch of his friend. “Yeah, okay, we can do that.”

Paul gave T.K. a handshake. “Thanks so much for the tickets, man. We’ve all been curious about Marjan’s best friend. You lived up to our expectations.”

Mateo gave a wave. “Yeah, maybe later you can tell us the queen story.”

T.K. put on his fakest smile. “Sure thing, buddy.” Carlos could see that T.K.’s going to another place mentally, so he rushed the guests out, giving T.K. room to breathe.

Marjan lingered just a bit longer, giving Carlos a stern look, “Take care of him.”

“It’s my job,” he said.

“It better be more than that,” Marjan replied. It is. I’m probably in for a world of hurt, but I’d take care of him even if I wasn’t paid to do it. I want him to be happy, and I do my best to make him feel happy.

T.K

T.K. wasn’t as stupid as some people thought he was. He might have played stupid a lot because it was easier to get what you wanted when people thought you’re barely smarter than a pile of bricks. He’d gotten a lot of good info by acting dumb. Judd would tell him to cut it out. Marjan would usually let him get away with it just to see the amusing results that always came. Carlos would give a knowing look, not making a judgment in either direction.

Because he wasn’t a complete idiot, he knew what Carlos was doing as he swiftly moved T.K.’s guests out of his dressing room, and to his surprise, it makes him feel relieved more than annoyed. Maybe I’m a changed man, after all. Or maybe I’m just getting too attached. The new T.K. apparently is into letting people meddling in his life, and he apparently let his bodyguard be more than a nuisance who follows him around, and who could blame him? Carlos actually seemed to care about him. Like, he’d bring pink-frosted doughnuts in the morning just because T.K. liked them, and when Carlos brought them, T.K. liked them even more. It’s like the sprinkle phenomenon. Just like doughnuts tasted better with sprinkles, they tasted better when hot bodyguards hand-delivered them just because they were thinking about you.

It made T.K. feel pathetic that the doughnuts made him so happy. Carlos was just being nice because he was a nice guy, and doing nice things was just what he does. It’s not because I matter to him. He only cares because if something happens to me, he’s out of a job, and from what he’s said, this is the most prestigious job he’s had. I don’t want to ruin his career. He deserves a better client than me, though. Someone who isn’t a fuck up. He was probably just as nice to everyone else. I’m just too self-absorbed to notice that the world doesn’t revolve around me. But the doughnuts made T.K. feel special. Even if Carlos is just being nice. There’s something about little things like remembering someone’s name or bringing someone doughnuts. Those little things made people feel good even if they weren’t that big of a deal.

“I don’t need to start getting ready for thirty-minutes,” T.K. commented just to say something. He hated how he couldn’t seem to keep his mouth shut. He babbled and yelled and sang just because he didn’t know how to shut up, didn’t know how to sit with the quiet, and not go crazy and therefore didn’t know how to control his mouth. Most of the time, his mouth was autonomous from the rest of him. I don’t know what the fuck I’m saying half the time. I’m just shooting the breeze until there’s no air left for anyone else.

Carlos gave an apologetic look, and it’s so cute. My heart might just melt if I’m around him too long. “Are you mad?”

“No, most people wouldn’t have done that though. They wouldn’t have even noticed that I needed a break.” He’s so nice. How can I be that nice?

“It’s my job to notice what you need without you having to say it.” That wasn’t in his job description, but T.K. wasn’t going to argue it.

“I don’t know why I’m so triggered by my dead dad. It’s been years.”

“There’s not a timeline on grief.” Tell that to his mom, who went back to work in two days and acted like giving T.K. a guitar would make up for not having a dad. Tell that to the psychiatrist who told him that he couldn’t grieve forever or the one who had told him that ten years was too long to still feel so bad. Honestly, everyone who told him to get over it was probably right. It wasn’t healthy to live in that day forever. To think about his father burning to death when it hadn’t even been the flames that had killed Owen. It had been shrapnel. But still, T.K. imagined skin being charred and falling from his dad’s body, and he just wanted the image to go away. He wanted to stop feeling so scared because that’s what he’d felt since 9/11, a hot fear that he converted into anger because he was too old to cry about how terrified he was. He remembered his mother telling him when he was ten that he was too old to cry about nightmares. He refused to cry about them after, even though he had to bite his wrist just to distract from the torment he felt. He learned to bring the feelings inward and to destroy himself for fleeting moments of peace.

“Yeah, but I can’t even say the word dad without feeling sick, and hearing it sends a fresh wave of guilt through me.” T.K had this stupid idea that if he hadn’t been such a brat the evening before 9/11 and kept his parents up until 3 am that his dad would have been better rested and would have been able to do his job better and not die. Logically, he knew that lots of people with kids who weren’t brats died that day. Lots of well-rested, unlucky people, but T.K was never able to shake the idea that his father’s death had something to do with him. He’d never confessed that fear to anyone, and maybe that was why it was killing him, draining him of his ability to keep his head in reality. He’d prefer his mind to float away. He loved the detached feeling of not being at all connected to himself, and as fine as he acted to anyone who glanced at him, he couldn’t stop thinking about oxy. It made him sick with yearning just to think of oxy or E or LSD, or K, or G or whatever other combination of senseless letters would let him out of his head, a prickly, electrified cage that made him feel small and claustrophobic.

“Guilt?” Carlos looked at him, face pinched. T.K. figured Carlos saw him as a puzzle. He wanted to know what T.K. meant because it was interesting in a perverse way. Everyone wanted to know why a man who had everything but a dad couldn’t get his shit together. Some people had less but had somehow managed to hang onto their sanity. They didn’t crave an oxy every time a pang of feeling clawed at their gut.

“I didn’t mean that. I meant sorrow.” T.K. didn’t think that he sounded very convincing, but Carlos wasn’t going to press it. It wasn’t his style. T.K. needed to focus on his show, and bringing up deeply rooted childhood issues wasn’t exactly going to make him feel energized. Though, to be honest, before all of this had happened, he’d been good about being happy. He’d been bubbly and fun and felt almost normal, but then in a snap, that bright, fun to be around self had shut off. It’s like I’m too different people. One who likes the peaks of roller coasters and another who likes the valleys.

“I still miss my dad,” Carlos confessed, and T.K. held his breath. The dead dad’s club is not a fun one to be in.

T.K. felt flushed. “I didn’t know. I’m sorry for your loss.” It sounded so stupid to say. T.K. had always hated when people said that to him because it never made him feel any differently. Them being sorry couldn’t change his loss or even heal it.

“He’s not dead or anything. I just haven’t seen him in five years.” Carlos shrugged. “So, I don’t think he’s dead, but I haven’t talked to him in years, and cutting him off was something I had to do.” T.K. had to take a deep breath not to lash out. If his dad was alive, he wouldn’t ever stop talking to him. Even if he was the worse dad in the world.

“I know it’s not the same, but it sucks.”

“Then, why won’t you talk to him?” T.K. tried to keep his voice calm, but he sounded like an angry kid on the verge of a tantrum.

“Because as much as I love him, he can’t bring me inner peace. He only keeps me around when he needs something, so I decided not to make myself available, but I still miss him sometimes. He was mean and abusive, but he’s not like a villain you see on a TV show. He had good in him, even if it was just a very little bit. He used to take me fishing. I hated it, but I loved the time I got to spend with him. We’d fish, and suddenly, he’d become dad of the year. Then, we’d go home and he’d tell me I couldn’t do anything right.”

“I’m sorry. Sounds, dead or deadbeat, having a dad brings heartbreak.”

“My point is just that you don’t have to stop missing him. You don’t have to stop thinking it’s unfair that you don’t have him here. You don’t have to stop cherishing his memory, but you do have to learn to live with it.”

“Yeah, thanks, Freud.”

“I’m sure your therapist would say it better,” Carlos joked. T.K. felt guilty because he had taken the therapist list Grace had made for him and shredded it after one visit with the first woman on the list. He’d had video visits with her twice before deciding that he didn’t need that anymore. He started to feel better. The withdrawal symptoms had gone. He felt more in control of his life, so he’d decided that he didn’t need anyone doing a deep dive into his brain. He’d figured it all out himself. No professional needed. No AA, NA, or whatever other program was out there. All he needed was his guitar and to stay away from parties. There was a part of T.K. that knew he was being foolish. He’d gotten sober before like this when he just decided to stop and get his life together, but every time, when the going got tough, T.K. usually figured it was time to quit the good habits that made life bearable without the bad habits.

“Yeah, she’d give a bunch of psychobabble.” Dr. Aggarwal actually probably wouldn’t have done that. Despite T.K’s stubbornness, Grace’s search had been thorough and she’d chosen people who wouldn’t give psychobabble. Maybe I did do some research before I shredded the list.

“Are you okay with that?”

T.K. shrugged, “I’m getting used to it. I think this one is actually helping. It’s going to be a journey, but I think this might be something good.” He hated lying to Carlos. I’m such a dumb, jerk. But the truth wasn’t going to make Carlos feel better. It wasn’t going to change the situation. It wasn’t going to do anything but sit there like the biggest know-it-all in a room full of know-it-alls.

Carlos beamed, and T.K. wanted to disappear. I hate myself for being such a weirdo. I’m the worst person alive. Carlos deserves better than me. “That’s great. I’m glad you’re starting to feel better.”

The more T.K. lied about feeling better the worst he felt. “Yeah me too.” He forced a smile. “Me being better is only going to make your job easier.”

Carlos laughed. “I have a feeling that you’ll never make it too easy.” I can’t make anything easy. I always have to take the hardest route as if that will somehow cure all the awful feelings that I have when it does nothing but make me an angry wreck.  

“What would be the fun in that?” Carlos laughed again, and T.K. felt himself relax. T.K. thought that if a laugh could save a person that he’d be saved, but laughter couldn’t save him. It would be like using cough medicine for a bullet wound.

#911 lone star #911 lone star fics #my fics #Elise Writes #my writing #tarlos fics #wip #holding out for a hero

[mystifyingorbit]

Captivating Chocolate

So.. Here’s part 2/3 of Neapolitan.

Hope you enjoy it! The last part will be coming out shortly after

Life could not get any better for Hyunjin. She was doing well in high school, succeeding in sports events, having fun with friends and dating the love of her life. Well, that would be a lie. It could be going much better, even if all that were true. She is dating the love of her life, yet Heejin’s been too busy for her, what with her being the new student council president. She’s been having fun with friends, but her closest one has been avoiding her for the past month and she can’t reach her. Let’s not even get to the problems with her family, what with her parents constantly fighting with each other, and even not agreeing with what she wanted to study in university.

She had everything except for those she finds the most important. She misses when her parents loved each other and their child, she misses when she could spend a lot of time and go on dates constantly with the love of her life, with her Heekie. She wishes she could go back to when she was still good friends with their princess, where she isn’t avoiding the two. It’s like back when Heejin was avoiding them, yet it’s worse now since all 3 of them weren’t reaching out. Heck, it’s been forever since she’s had ice cream with the girls, something they used to do every week.

As Hyunjin sits down in her usual spot, the waitress brings her the usual chocolate ice cream, before sitting down in front of her.

“Where’s the other two? I haven’t seen them in a while.” She says, a concerned tone in her voice.

Hyunjin just sighs, looking up to the pink-haired waitress. “I’m not sure Vivi unnie. I haven’t talked with either of them in a while…” She looks down again, playing with her spoon. “I miss them…”

Vivi just pulls the younger girl into a hug. “They love you, you know that right? Something like this won’t be enough to break your friendship with them. They’ll come around.”

Hyunjin has a feeling this wouldn’t be the case, that this isn’t like one of their past arguments, yet she kept silent, hoping for the best.

---

Hyunjin was waiting at home. Her girlfriend is 2 hours late for their planned date, and Hyunjin expects that to not change anytime soon. She expected this honestly, yet that expectation doesn’t numb the pain in her heart. She looks at the food she cooked, after learning for quite a while from Vivi and Haseul unnie.

She wanted to do something special for their anniversary, yet here she is, alone with Heejin nowhere in sight. She sighs, starting to prepare to eat alone when she hears the doorbell ring. Instead of her girlfriend, she sees someone else she misses dearly.

“Chaewon… You’re here.” Hyunjin says, softly.

The girl looked down, before pulling out a bouquet of flowers. “I’m sorry for ignoring you and Heejin… I’d like to apologize. Speaking of which, how is our bunny?”

Hyunjin just opened the door, and pulled the girl inside. As soon as she closed the door, she pulled her into a hug, crying into her arms.

Chaewon tried to futilely comfort her best friend, cursing the other for making Hyunjin cry. Chaewon didn’t want to choose between the two, but Heejin has clearly been doing something to make Hyunjin upset, as Hyunjin rarely, if ever cries. She notices the food on the table, the romantic atmosphere, how Hyunjin is upset.

Hyunjin speaks tearily, confirming Chaewon’s suspicion.  “We were supposed to have dinner together, yet she’s over 2 hours late… I have a feeling she forgot today was our anniversary.

Chaewon sighs. Even if she hasn’t talked to the two in a while, she notices how busy Heejin has been. She can only remember how much school events and her presidential position mean to Heejin, but she can’t believe that it mattered more than Hyunjin to her. “I can help you eat the food if you like… and we can catch up?”

“I’d like that…” Hyunjin pulls back, cracking a slight teary smile. “I miss you, you know... “

After the meal, as they were cleaning up, Hyunjin brings up a question she’s been wondering. “Why have you been avoiding us anyway? You know you can tell us… me anything right?”

Chaewon laughs. “I’ll tell you two soon.. Just, give me a bit more time ok?”

Hyunjin can only nod, just excited to have her best friend back, even if her heart still aches for her girlfriend.

---

It was the next day when Hyunjin saw Heejin.

As Hyunjin was in the middle of basketball practice, she noticed her girlfriend sit on the bleachers, sending a smile her way. Hyunjin proceeds to ignore her, still upset about the girl missing their date yesterday. Heejin could only sigh at how Hyunjin’s ignoring her, though she understands that the girl in question is probably upset from yesterday.

As the practice is finishing, Hyunjin waves to her teammates and starts walking off, completely ignoring her girlfriend. As soon as she reaches the door going outside, she feels a presence walking beside her, huffing a bit from exhaustion.

“Hyunjin…” the girl behind her says… “I’m sorry.”

“You know, you could’ve told me you weren’t coming. At least I’d know what to expect.” Hyunjin replies coldly, not looking at her girlfriend.

Hyunjin felt a hand slip into hers, causing her to stop, before turning to look at the girl next to her. She loves her, but she’s tired of Heejin not paying attention to her at all. She’s tired of abandoned dates, ignored texts and missing the love of her life.

Heejin tries to pull Hyunjin into a hug, but the younger pulls away, not wanting to talk to her. “Hyunjin… I’m sorry.. There was an unexpected emergency yesterday with our planning for prom, so we had to stay later than usual and afterwards they dragged me into hanging out and I couldn’t refuse because we still had to continue the discussion and I’m sorry.”

“You know, it’s always been like this for the past month. You’ve been busy all the time.. It’s almost like you don’t care about me anymore.” Hyunjin spat bitterly

“I care! I do.. It’s just I also have priorities and I thought you’d understand.” Heejin says, getting slightly angry herself.

Hyunjin turned to face the other girl, a fierce glare in her eyes. “Yesterday was our anniversary!” Hyunjin howled, Heejin wincing at the volume, all her anger and bitterness spilling out.

As she noticed the fear in the other girl’s eyes, she calmed down slightly, still bitter yet not willing to hurt the other.  “I thought you’d at least make an exception for yesterday, just one time where I wanted to do something special for you, but you made it clear how you feel.”

Hyunjin dropped the other girl's hand and started to walk away. Not looking back, she spoke one more time, her voice barely louder than a whisper, “You know… I learnt to cook for you.. Yesterday I just wanted to spend more time with you, but I guess you do what you always do best. Run away and avoid others.”

Heejin can only watch and cry as the girl she loves, the girl she’s neglected, walks away from her.

---

Hyunjin’s never really broke the rules, always the model student. Her friendship with the two has always kept her and the others out of trouble. Yet, just this once, she just doesn’t care. It was a month after her last encounter with Heejin, right after prom and their graduation. She didn’t go to prom with Heejin, neither of them on talking terms with each other.

She’s sitting at home alone, watching TV, a glass of wine in her hand. She isn’t really paying attention to the TV, as tipsy as she is, yet she feels that she needs this to forget the pain of being ignored and stood up, the guilt of hurting Heejin and just, everything.

As she goes to take another sip, she hears the doorbell ring. She debated not standing up and ignoring whoever was there. Curiosity won out, and not thinking clearly, she opens the door, the glass of wine in her hand.

On the other side, stood a blonde best friend, a welcome companion. Chaewon only nodded at Hyunjin before entering, shutting the door behind her. As she settled down next to Hyunjin on the couch, pouring herself a glass, she gestured at Hyunjin to spill.

Hyunjin just sighs, having expected this, having known each other (and Heejin) since they were children, yet not willing to share. Chaewon just looks expectantly at her friend, head tipped to one side, before whispering “It’s ok, just talk to me.”

Hyunjin just cries, pulling Chaewon into a side hug, before explaining her bitterness and how she feels, her pain with how Heejin is acting.

Before long, another glass or two, and the two girls were clearly quite tipsy, neither thinking straight.

In her drunken state, Hyunjin can’t help but notice how pretty Chaewon is. She’s always been pretty, but now all she can think of is how luscious her lips look and how much she’d like to kiss her. Her heart sings that this is a bad idea, but for once, just this once, she wants to be selfish.

She leaned in, placing a soft kiss on Chaewon’s lips. Before long, after some hesitation, Chaewon reciprocated the kiss. Kissing Chaewon was different from kissing Heejin. With Heejin, it was often more passionate, a burning fire and roaring thunder, electrifying with need. With Chaewon, it feels like butterflies erupting in your stomach, but it also feels calm and relaxing, a warm summer wind.

Kissing Chaewon was something she enjoyed, but while the two were busy with each other, neither noticed the door opening behind them, nor their best friend entering the house, flowers in hand. Heejin’s heart dropped at seeing the two kiss. Her girlfriend and best friend, cheating on her.. Yet she sees the wine bottle and their glasses, and she understands. She can’t blame Hyunjin for finding comfort in someone else after what she’s done, nor can she blame Chaewon for comforting their close friend.

As Heejin clears her throat, the other two jumps and turns, noticing Heejin. Hyunjin backs off, sputtering apologies, while Chaewon looks down, guilt evident in her face. Heejin just laughs an empty laugh, tears in her eyes. “I should just leave… I’m sorry Hyunjin, really really sorry.”

Hyunjin just watches as the love of her life leaves, before turning to Chaewon and pulling her into a hug.

---

Chaewon looks at her watch, right as her shift ended. As she was walking home she noticed an ice cream store down the corner. She sighed. It’s been over a year since she has seen either of the two girls, her two besties. She regrets giving in to her feelings, into what Hyunjin was doing, but now they’ve all paid the price. Never to see each other again.

#loona #neapolitan line #go won #hyunjin #heejin #Loona Imagines

[spaceorphan18]

Kurt Hummel’s Tears: A Study

Because I wanted to know just how many times it actually happened - mostly because after wrapping up reading a certain long fanfic, if I have to read the phrase ‘and Kurt’s about to burst into tears’ one more time, I’m gonna lose it. 

I’m not against Kurt crying - him being emotional is a thing, and it’s good to see men be in touch with their emotional side.  But I just don’t see Kurt as fragile, and always on the way to breaking down.  So I wanted to dig in and do some research.  Am I just forgetting things? Was he really on the verge of tears always? Let’s find out. 

Season 1

Acafellas 1x03

Dude’s coming out to his newfound bff - of course that’s going to get emotiona. 

Preggers 1x04

Dude just came out to his dad - this seems a pretty normal to get emotional, too.  

The Rhodes Not Taken 1x05

Kurt’s moved by the amazingness of Kristin Chenoweth - aren’t we all? Fun fact - this is actually Chris being emotionally moved.  Kiddo just met one of his idols, of course tears. 

Wheels 1x09

Getting emotional while singing! A trend with everyone really.  This is during the whole diva-off, which is more about personal stakes than it is about dueling with Rachel. 

(I’d also like to note there is some angsty moments in both Ballad and Hairography, but nothing that lends itself to actual tears.) 

Home 1x16

Oh... Home is a heavy episode for all the crying.  I mean, he’s struggling with his relationship with his father, his crush on Finn, and just changes.  

[Btw - A House is Not a Home almost gets to tears, but not quite...]

/

Of course the epitome of all Kurt crying shots is in this episode.  Ah the angst - it’s so good and heartbreaking here.  

Laryngitis 1x18

Hey, another scene about connecting with his dad.  I’m beginning to see a theme.  

Theatricality 1x20

Your crush just rejects you but your dad finally accepts you.  That’s a whole ton of emotional stuff right there.  

Journey to Regionals 1x22

This slightly moves to the edge of tears as they sing about Glee club ending.

Episode Tally 8/22 - Home being the most cry scenes with 2-1/2 actual scenes, and a whole lot of angsty emotion all the way through.

Season 1 Observations:  Kurt’s in touch with his emotions, but really only when it effects his story directly.  It’s understandable - giving his strained relationship with his dad, his grappling with his sexuality, and having a crush on a straight guy end up in heartbreak.  Most of the times he cries he’s alone, or with someone he trusts.  He does get emotional while singing, too, but most of that doesn’t usually lead to full on crying.  He’s also deeply moved by Mercedes’s voice - but who isn’t?

Notable times he doesn’t cry: When being bulled (he gets angry), when having confrontations in general, and when other people (other than Mercedes) are singing emotionally.

Season 2

Grilled Cheesus 2x03

Kurt’s dad almost dies - so Kurt’s crying in most of the scenes.  I’d say that makes sense. 

/

/

/

Never Been Kissed 2x06

Both scenes have to do with being emotional over being physically and sexually assaulted, combined with the depression, worry for his father, and finding a place and a person who is actually listening.  

/

Furt 2x08

Karofsky’s basically threatened his life at this point, I’d probably start crying, too. 

/

His dad gets remarried and his first love is singing a song to him - it’s a happiness he always wanted - these are happy tears!

/

Just when Kurt finds a little piece of happiness - the bullying gets so extreme that Kurt needs to leave and he’s saying goodbye to people he’s gotten close to.  Goodbyes under stressful circumstances are hard. 

Original Song 2x16

His pet bird died.  C’mon.  ;)

Born This Way 2x18

The nightmare that Karofsky is over and he gets to go back to where he feels his home is at even though he’ll be leaving his boyfriend behind - and said bf is singing an angsty song.  More changes mean more emotion. 

Prom Queen 2x20

Just when he thought he was safe to be free and who he is, the entire school pranks him in a mean-hearted way.  I’d say that calls for tears. 

Funeral 2x21

Like in Rhodes Not Taken, Kurt tears up for comedic effect when Rachel sings. 

/

Kurt tears up a little during Jean’s funeral.  Death his hard, Kurt’s experienced that a lot, and he’s not afraid of those sad emotions. 

New York 2x22

Kurt’s finally realized that his dreams could come true if he really wants them to.  He’s not stuck in the dark world that is Lima.  

Episode Tally 8/21 (Probably shouldn’t count the one he’s not in). Grilled Cheesus has by far the highest count (probably of the series), followed, interestingly, but Furt. 

Season 2 Observations: A lot of Kurt’s break downs come from the depression he’s experiencing mainly from the bullying, but also still feeling like he doesn’t fit in with those around him.  Again - the crying moments happen mainly in Kurt centric episodes, and more so at the beginning of the season.  Interestingly, after he meets Blaine, with the exception of in Prom Queen, any teary-eyed scenes are more from the over flower of intense emotional moments not full on break downs, and they’re also fewer and far between.  

Notable times he doesn’t cry: Duets! This might win for an episode full of maybe breakdowns - but Kurt’s gone to a depressive state beyond crying, so he just stares sadly out into the distance.  

Any time it has to do with sex or even romance.  

When other people are singing, or even when emotional things are going on with other people.  

Season 3

Purple Piano Project 3x01

I mean, he just got his dreams dashed and his ego put in check, but compared to season 1 and 2, he’s actually rather cheery in this episode.  

I Kissed a Girl 3x07

I mean, he lost the election and nearly got expelled for something he didn’t do.  Fair. 

Michael 3x11

So he’s understandably upset after the stuff with Blaine goes down, but no actual tears. 

He does cry, happy cry, when he gets his NYADA letter though.  

Heart 3x13

I feel like this gets a half point.  He’s all teared up that Blaine isn’t around for Valentine’s day, but it doesn’t get very far. 

On My Way 3x14

This episode almost stands out because Kurt really hasn’t been crying this season, and now he’s very sad about everything that’s going on with Karofsky.  And while I feel like it’s reasonable to cry at this stuff, the crying scenes here almost feel like...exploitation? Probably because for the most part, Kurt’s big emotional crying scenes have had to do with something that’s happened to him, not with someone else.  Huh.  Interesting.

But unlike early season two where he cries though some of the episodes, there are only two real scenes here.  

/

Dance With Somebody 3x17

So, I’m going to give this episode Heart’s other half point, because Kurt... doesn’t really cry in this episode? He gets emotionally upset a few times, but with the exception of this very last scene with Blaine, Kurt doesn’t get more than a little glassy eyed. 

Goodbye 3x22

It’s graduation, and he’s leaving this place and things are changing, and that’s emotional, but his tears are for leaving behind the place, and not necessarily for everyone else.  

/

Episode Tally 5/22 [Giving a half point to both Heart and Dance With Somebody]  On My Way wins for the most tear-y eyed Kurt, and there are only two episodes of the season with full on breakdowns.  

Season 3 Observations: Kurt’s relationship with emotions and crying change.  He’s not deeply depressed the way he was in season 1 and early season 2.  He gets sad, but it isn’t as overly emotional as it was in the earlier seasons.  

Notable times he doesn’t cry:= The First Time - there’s an emotional twirl there, but no actual tears.  In fact, fighting with Blaine in general doesn’t get him to a crying place.  

When he doesn’t get into NYADA - he kinda just look sadly at the paper.  

Kurt’s still not getting emotional at other people’s issues (the one exception being Karofsky - but i’d argue that ties in with some of his own past trauma.)

Season 4

The Break Up 4x04

I mean, his boyfriend cheats on him.  Again, fair.  This is the first time that it’s a really ugly cry. 

Glease 4x06

I’ll give this one a half point.  Kurt’s trying really hard not to cry over his break up. 

Thanksgiving 4x08

After a really heavy, emotional relationship conversation.  It’s more like an emotional release than being upset over anything.  

Swan Song 4x09

Allowing himself to be emotionally caught up in the song. 

And finally getting a win after so much heartache.

Girls and Boys on Film 4x15

Interestingly, this is his first full on break down since The Break Up - and after half a season of trying hard to keep his emotions in check - he’s allowing himself to feel his pain again. 

Wonderful 4x21

Tears of happiness that his dad isn’t going to die of cancer

All or Nothing 4x22

I mean - I feel like at this point, once a season, Kurt cries for comedic effect.  This is one of those times. Only the cut out Santana’s line that made it funny.  Anyway - Kurt getting ‘emotional’ at Blaine’s song.  This gets a half point.  

Episode Tally 6/19.  No surprises that The Break Up is the most amount of crying going on.  

Season 4 Observations: Season 4 has some weird/interesting things going on in that Kurt doesn’t have a lot of screen time, and since Kurt only cries when it’s tied directly to his story, and since his story is primarily about his break up, he’s much sadder over the course of the season.  But he’s not necessarily always crying.   He is most definitely mourning his relationship - and of course tears, but it’s not the deep depression of the early seasons.  But afterwards, a lot of time is spent not dealing with his emotions and holding things back.  

Notable times he doesn’t cry: Actually leaving Lima.  Learning his dad has cancer.  Over anything to do with Rachel drama.  Still not crying over other people’s sadness.  

Season 5

Love, Love, Love 5x01

His bf just asked him to marry him.  I mean fair. 

The Quarterback 5x03

His brother died.  This gets ugly crying, too.   Interestingly, while Kurt is upset throughout this whole episode, he only really breaks down twice.  And the major break down is in the privacy of his own home.

/

Episode Tally 2/20 - The Quarterback is the only episode of the season that he full on cries.  Well then, I guess we know what season Kurt’s the least emotionally distraught.  

Season 5 Observations: I wouldn’t call this Kurt’s happiest season (they all have moments of a lot of happiness, too!) but this is by far the least amount of times overly emotional.  And while there’s a lot of in story reasons for that, I think it should be taken into account that due to the circumstances of Finn’s (and Cory’s) death, the writers steered away from sadder story lines. 

Notable times Kurt doesn’t cry - Any post-Quarterback conversations about Finn.  Any of the times he and Blaine get in arguments.  Chris didn’t write himself a crying scene. 

Season 6

Loser Like Me 6x01

Learning that it was kinda stupid to break up your boyfriend when you could have talked it out. 

/

/

Jagged Little Tapestry 6x03

Pretty much the same reason as episode 6x01

A Wedding 6x08

I mean, this gets a half point - he’s misty eyed that he gets to marry, not only at all, but the man he loves.  It’s a wedding, c’mon. 

Dreams Come True 6x13

So, Will’s singing to them all - but this is more sadness from Chris, since this is the last scene shot in the entire series.  This also gets a half point.  

Episode Tally 3/13 [Half points for A Wedding and Dreams Come True]  Loser Like Me is a ton of crying, but then Kurt kinda puts himself together and deals with it.  

Season 6 Observations: The interesting thing here is that - Kurt’s still an emotional guy, and feels things deeply, but like season 5 (?), he’s also more adult about everything by the time we get to season 6.  

Notable Times Kurt Doesn’t Cry - Any time with Blaine after he’s decided to stop feeling sorry for himself.  Dalton burning down.  Not even much angst in the flashback episode 2009. 

Series Observations: 

Final Episode Tally 32/117 - and very much front-loaded

The first season and half are by far the most overly flowing with emotion Kurt that we get.  And almost understandably so? He’s a young teenager who is suffering from a deep depression and intense emotional stress.  By the time Blaine comes along, the amount of crying Kurt does is cut in half, and when he does cry it’s for normal things - death of sibling, breakups, etc.  

At no point, though, does Kurt ever seem fragile to me.  

In fact - Kurt Hummel has no time for your emotions.   He does not get overly emotional for other people (save the one weird episode with Karofsky - On My Way, but that’s more so about his own connection to it, and the writers wanting to get Chris Colfer another Emmy nomination).  

Most of his crying, and nearly all of the actual break downs, are done privately.  

I have to wonder if at some point Chris Colfer said - please stop making me cry so much. 

#that's how s.o. sees it #finding kh #i don't know if anyone wanted this #but it was an interesting thing to do #Kurt Hummel is not as sad as you think he is

[blooming-inthedark]

the younger one.

Derek

I was in the drama department in high school, and being in drama was everything to me. It was the most fun I had in all my schooling. One of the main reasons I enjoyed this time was because of my drama peers. They were my closest friends and we did basically everything together, in and out of school. There was one class for each grade (9-12), but we would all have to come together during the schoolyear, so all four years were like a big family. We looked up to the older students and would feel abandoned once they graduated, but we would also fawn over how adorable or annoying each freshman class got each year that we inched closer to becoming seniors. Though we loved them, we of course carried this false sense of superiority over them since we were older. Like, play parents. So, I wouldn’t have believed you if you told me when senior year started that I would be in a relationship with one of those ‘kids’ by the time graduation rolled around.

His name was Derek. He was in the sophomore class, and he was also the younger brother of Shawna, a drama student who graduated the year before we did. Derek was cutie, man. And for a 15 year old, he had a really deep voice. I was attracted to him, yes. Our early *platonic* text conversations consisted of random things, and him telling me how fine he thought all the senior girls were in drama, and how much he wanted to kiss them, or whatever else. I would just kind of laugh about it and agree, but then one day he started talking about the things he wanted to do to me. And his young ass had me intrigued. So we started flirting and whatnot.

We kept it secret, because of the age gap. Only 2 years – but in high school that somehow seemed like a lot. The only person who knew we liked each other was my friend Teresa, because she talked to both me and Derek on a daily basis. Derek and I didn’t see each other much during the day because we didn’t want to seem obvious (lol) but we would hang out after school a lot because he was best friends with Larry. Larry was also in the sophomore class and he was my baby – again, that whole play parent thing. He had lupus, and he was so sweet. I was one of the few people with a car in our class, and I remember doing a lot of aimless riding around after school, sometimes to take friends home, sometimes to go eat or to another friend’s house. Derek and Larry might ride with me, along with Teresa, or one of my other friends, Sasha. I remember one night, Sasha, Derek, Larry and I were in my car and we played truth or dare. Derek and I were dared to kiss, so we did. That night, him and I were texting about all the dares and how we felt about them. He told me “Just so you know, I didn’t feel anything when we kissed.” I told him I didn’t either.

I’d say about 2 or 3 nights later, he texted me and said “Remember when I said I didn’t feel anything when we kissed? I was lying.” Eventually we decided to make it official. It was the start of my last semester, and I felt like I had earned Derek, because he was telling me about cutting ties with the 2 other girls that liked him, and how disappointed they were. I remember jokingly saying, “Oh well, I didn’t mean to upset anybody, maybe we should break up.” We were in the parking lot and he was putting something in my trunk. When I said that he stopped and had this horrified look on his face “No!” he said with panic and slight confusion. I told him it was a joke, regretting my words immediately. I worried that he would look at me as crazy for saying something like that, but he didn’t.

And we were the cutest couple, according to everyone in drama. Derek was the first boyfriend, at this point, that I wasn’t ashamed of. I liked holding his hand in public. I would sit on his lap in front of everyone we knew. I was so into him, and felt no reservations about PDA like I usually would. Even though Derek was younger than me, I felt like I had a good catch. He was cute, and many other girls thought so too. All my friends joked and called me a cradle robber, but I didn’t care. I was sprung off this boy. We got caught making out and feeling each other up in the black box theater by the new drama teacher one day after school because we just could not stay off each other. Derek was even my date to the senior prom.

Sometimes though, it felt like the adults around us didn’t like that we were together. Maybe because he was essentially a kid? I always got the vibe that his mother and sisters didn’t like me, because they were never very friendly towards me. And my mom just didn’t expect us to last very long, I guess. I remember having Derek over to our house once. We were watching TV in the den and my mom was back in her room. It was storming, and that moment I was secretly hoping for had finally happened - the power went out. So, there we were, in the dark, and it was a flash of privacy that we hadn’t been able to have anywhere else. It was finally time for Derek to do something he had always told me he wanted to do - give me head. But no sooner than he started, my mom yelled my name. “You taste like air,” he texted me later. It was all good, even up until graduation. But I was going off to college that fall and I had a feeling we wouldn’t last until then.

Somewhere in the first part of the summer, things changed. When we hung out, Derek would always be really focused on his phone. I found myself repeating questions and giving up on conversations because he was paying more attention to his text thread than me. One night, I went to his house and the whole time he sat on the couch texting someone. It was me, him, his older sister, and another girl from drama. We were all talking, interacting with each other, but Derek wasn’t all over me like usual. I sat on one couch, he sat on the other. I had to go and sit next to him for us to be close, and even then he didn’t acknowledge me. There was a really odd vibe that night. It was obvious Derek was acting different, and it felt like everyone in the room knew why except me. Periodically he would chuckle, but showed no excitement or enthusiasm when interacting with me. I finally got a glance in over his shoulder and realized he was texting one of the girls in his drama class. That was all I needed to see.

He didn’t like me anymore. His actions had shown this for a couple of weeks, and seeing him text the other girl was when it really hit. He had found something new and shiny, and I was the older, old news. Because I could sense it, I brought it up over the phone to him one night. I told him he seemed different and uninterested - like he was interested in someone new. After some time he finally said that yes, it was someone else. I didn’t bother asking who, because I knew. A couple months later, they were together.

My feelings were hurt. Of course. Derek was the first boyfriend that all of my friends knew about and saw me with often. He was the first cute guy that actually liked me and dated me. There was a mutual interest and attraction, unlike the other guys I talked to that I ended up getting tired of a few months later. After we broke up, Derek told me he wanted to still remain friends. We would text every now and then and it was cool. Present day we’re definitely cordial, but we don’t really talk. I’m not really sure what exactly he’s doing now, but if I really wanted to know, he’s only a Snapchat or IG DM away from me asking. No ill feelings on my end. Just one of those things you go through as a teen.

The reason I remember Derek is because though I felt special to him in the beginning, I always felt like I was possibly competing with other girls for his attention. I noticed how many female friends he had, and it made me nervous. I remember for Valentine’s Day, Derek got me a small stuffed dog and wrote me a letter, but got his ‘best friend’ Alicia a huge ass teddy bear and some chocolate. My whole body might as well have turned green, I was so jealous. I knew most of his female friends liked him, and I felt that at any given moment he would see that they could probably offer him something better than I could. I didn’t feel like I was attractive, I didn’t have curves, and I wasn’t having sex. Another girl could easily come and win him over; I was no competition. And eventually my fear came true. Now that I’m writing this out, I realize that I still carry this irrational fear with me as an adult. Whenever I’m talking to a guy, I wonder how long it will be before he loses interest, if he’ll think I’m boring, is he comparing me or my body to other women he’s dated, or if the fact that I’m a virgin will run him off. It’s ridiculous - many days, I wonder why I’m single because I’m honestly the best thing smokin. Other days I look back over my life and conclude that men who are truly interested in me only come along every few years, so it must be that I’m not the best. My confidence is a beautiful, soft bright rose with small thorns and dirt smudges. I know that I’m the only one responsible for picking it up to carefully pluck those thorns and dust it off, but sometimes I still hope that a nice man walks by and knows how to delicately do it for me. But I’m working on that.

Peace to you for reading.

#personal #men series #dating #men #high school #love #relationships #story #narrative #black woman #black writer #confidence #kisses #female writer #writer #writers on tumblr #black tumblr #romance #life #self esteem #self worth

[atlfics]

Eighteen- All Time Low Fanfiction

A/N: This is set in their senior of high school.

“I don’t know how we haven’t talked about this yet, but your birthday is two weeks from today, dude! The big eighteen!” Alex exclaimed to Jack, his bet friend, as he started to drive them out of the school parking lot.

“Oh yeah, it is,” Jack replied in a very unenthused voice. He turned his head and started to stare out the window.

“You don’t sound very excited, man, are you not looking forward to it?” Alex asked, genuinely confused.

“No, I am, really. Let’s talk about this later, like at your house or something,” Jack requested, still looking out the window.

“Oh, um, okay, we can do that. Let’s listen to some Blink for the rest of the drive,” Alex suggested. He hit the skip button on his stereo until he finally found Jack’s favorite song on the CD that was playing. The rest of the drive was filled with silence aside from the music, Alex focused on driving, and Jack still staring out the window. Once they finally got to Alex’s house, Alex led Jack inside, and up to his room.

“Man, I’m so glad it’s Friday, I had two tests this week, and in my least favorite classes! I’m glad we planned for you to sleep over,” Alex said as he put down his backpack. After not hearing a response from Jack, Alex turned around and saw Jack sitting on his bed with a blank expression on his face. This concerned Alex, he really had no idea what could be bothering Jack so much. Alex walked over to his bed and sat down next to his best friend.

“Jack, you’re not acting like yourself, what’s up?” Alex asked, sounding as concerned as he felt.

“What? No, I’m fine,” Jack tried, a very unconvincing smile forming on his face.

“Dude, we’ve been friends for, like, five years now, I know you well enough to know that’s bullshit. Seriously man, what’s up? You’ve not been yourself ever since I brought up your birthday in the car, did that trigger something in you?” Alex continued. Jack took a deep breath before talking.

“Yes, it did, Alex,” Jack admitted.

“Really? You normally love your birthday, you always insist on having big, extravagant celebrations. Well, as big and extravagant as we can afford with our shitty, minimum wage jobs,” Alex joked.

“I know, and I still want to do that, but I’m a little nervous,” Jack admitted.

“For what? You’re officially going to be an adult!” Alex exclaimed.

“I know, I’ll be an adult in two weeks, we graduate high school in two months. Man, where the fuck did the time go?” Jack asked.

“I’m surprised to hear this from you, you’ve been ready to be out of high school since the first day of our freshman year. What’s going on in your mind, Jack?” Alex asked, hoping that Jack would just say what was bothering him so much.

“I don’t feel like I’ve lived my life to the fullest since we’ve been in high school,” Jack confessed.

“Really? We did a lot of the same things, and I certainly don’t feel that way,” Alex said back.

“Alex, our experiences weren’t as similar as you think they were. Sure, they were alike when we were together, but not so much outside of that,” Jack explained.

“That’s where I’m drawing a blank. We’re best friends, we basically do everything together,” Alex stated.

“Kind of. You’ve always had more friends than me, so you’ve always done more because of that,” Jack said back.

“What? You have plenty of friends! Everyone I’m friends with likes you!” Alex stated.

“No, they all put up with me. All of your friends are nice guys, but there’s absolutely no way they’d want to hang out with me if you weren’t there. Alex, I never really had a lot of friends, especially my own friends, like outside of you and your group. I feel like I missed out on a lot because of that,” Jack stated, looking down in embarrassment.

“I don’t think that at all! You and I have hung out so much, and have done so many fun things together, and I wouldn’t have wanted it to be any different. Is this the only thing bothering you?” Alex asked.

“Well, no. I also haven’t ever had a real girlfriend. I know you’re single now, but you dated that one girl for two whole years, and I’ve never had anything like that,” Jack explained.

“Dude, that girl ended up being batshit crazy in the last months of our relationship, I know you remember that. Whenever she’d do or say something hurtful, I always went to you. Then, you ended up helping me through our breakup. Being in a high school relationship really doesn’t live up to all of the hype that surrounds it. If I could go back and just be single all throughout high school like you were, I would. Everything would’ve been so much easier,” Alex explained.

“I understand all of that, but you still had the experience of having a girlfriend, meanwhile, I’ve never even come close to having anything like that. Even if I had a shitshow relationship, it still would’ve been an experience that I could laugh about now, like you do about your ex. Also, when we went to prom last month, you were like the center of attention on the dancefloor, and I sat at a table alone by the punch bowl,” Jack pointed out.

“Well, I certainly didn’t expect that to happen, my date apparently really liked to dance. I expected to just take pictures with her, then to spend the evening with you, doing our own thing,” Alex stated.

“I know, but that’s not what happened. Everyone seemed to have so much fun that night, and I was all alone in the corner. I’ve never told you this, but I cried when I was by myself. Being alone reminded me of how alone I’ve felt all throughout high school, aside from being with you, and really solidified that in my mind,” Jack said, his voice getting smaller.

“Jack, I had no idea, I wish I’d known that. I never knew that you felt like this, or that you cried on prom night. How come you’ve never told me about any of this?” Alex asked, growing more concerned for his friend.

“I don’t know, I guess these feelings come in waves, like only if I think about it, or if something reminds me of it. I just feel like I wasted my teenage years doing nothing. I didn’t live them to the fullest; I didn’t party very much, I didn’t even try to form other close friendships aside from you, I never fell in love. I went to prom, but I didn’t go to the after party with you and your other friends, I spent the evening alone at home. I just feel like I missed out on the key parts of being a teenager in high school. Turning eighteen scares the shit out of me, like, I’m still technically going to be a teenager, but it’s different. Just knowing that I can’t go back and have fun makes me sad, and I just regret how I spent high school. I feel like I fucked up and lived my teen years incorrectly,” Jack explained. Some tears started to form in his eyes out of frustration, and Jack did his best to quickly blink them away, feeling even more embarrassed now.

“Jack, there’s not a ‘right’ way to be a teenager, more specifically, a high schooler. I know all of the movies and TV shows seem to have it down to a formula, but that’s not real. It can be hard to see all of that and tell yourself that it’s just a show or movie, but that’s what it is. Those things expect you to feel inferior to them, they set a standard that might not be realistic for everyone, which is kind of fucked up. I’ve not done everything that’s in those movies. I think I went to one football and one basketball game over the entire time we’ve gone to school here. That’s a big deal in all of those movies and shows, but I don’t feel like I missed out by not going to them. Being at those things never felt fun to me, and I realized that they’re just not for me. I felt like I should do things like that for the same reason you’re feeling so down, and it made me upset with myself, like I was throwing away a fun opportunity. Last year, I realized that not going is what I preferred, and that’s perfectly okay. Jack, you don’t have to have a picture-perfect high school career for it to be considered right or correct,” Alex explained, putting a hand on Jack’s shoulder.

“I appreciate you saying all of that, I really do, I just wish that I tried to build more real connections with people. I know you remember I had some toxic friends our first year, and that sort of stopped me from wanting to find other friends. Like, it made trusting that other people wouldn’t do all of the same things really hard, so I never really tried to find new friends in the fear that I’d get hurt again,” Jack explained.

“I understand your frustrations about that, but it’s okay to not have a lot of close friends. I can definitely understand the loneliness that comes with it, but it’s really okay. The people here weren’t who clicked with you, that’s perfectly okay, man. We go to college in, like, five months. We’re going to the same school, and we’re going to be roommates, and we’re going to meet all new people, and we’ll make new, real, genuine friendships. It’s okay that you didn’t have a lot of close friends, we’re going to go to this new place, and you can do everything you mentioned earlier, but there!” Alex exclaimed.

“Well, I can’t really redo prom,” Jack mumbled.

“Oh, but you can. College has formal, which is basically college prom! I know turning eighteen makes all of this feel more real and scary, but it’s all totally okay. I’ve got your back, I’ll do everything I can to help college be more fun for you than high school was,” Alex promised.

“While that sounds great, I don’t want you to feel like you have to babysit me or watch out for me constantly. I don’t want to be a burden to you in college, like I already feel I was in high school,” Jack said, a guilty look on his face.

“Jack, you’ve never been a burden. You’re my best friend, you know I’ll do whatever I can to help you feel happy, and that’s not going to change when we get to college. I’m always going to be here for you, helping and supporting you in every way I can. You’ve always been a great friend to me, and I want to be the same for you,” Alex said, making Jack smile.

“Thank you, Alex, that all means a lot to me. I still feel like I could’ve lived a little more in high school, and I wish I hadn’t isolated myself as much, but thank you for this. I’ve always compared my experiences to movies and shows, and it’s made me feel less than. I’m glad we’ve been friends for all of these years, and that we’ll be in college together,” Jack said, making Alex smile now, too.

“You’re so welcome. Fuck those movies and shows, dude, you did things your way, and that’s what matters. I’ll do my best to help you feel less isolated when we get to college. We’re going to make the next four years our definition of perfect. Fuck what the movies about college say is right, we’re going to do it our way,” Alex stated.

“You’re the best,” Jack said as they quickly hugged each other. While Jack was still a bit nervous to officially become an adult, he was glad to have Alex by his side, and that he was willing do what he could to help Jack through anything and everything.

A/N: Hey guys, I impulsively decided to write this last night! I've felt similarly to Jack in this, but I actually wrote it for a friend who's feeling this way right now. Obviously, I altered reality some to make it work, but I like how it turned out, and hope you guys do, too. To the person I wrote this for, I hope you liked it, and that it was helpful! Thank you all for reading, please send in requests if you have them! Lots of love, Liv.

#Alex Gaskarth #Jack Barakat #Rian Dawson #Zack Merrick #all time low #ATL

[wroughtbetwixtfanfic]

A Place To Call Home, Ch 6.

Fandom: Rosewell, New Mexico.

Summary: A canon divergent take on Roswell, New Mexico, and the relationships  between Isobel, Noah, and Rosa; later parts will shift the focus to  Michael and Alex, as well as Michael and Noah. What is it like to share a  body with another alien? Can broken trust be mended? Do the ends really  justify the means?  

Rating: M.

Tags: Canon divergence, minor  character death, not really character death, body sharing, polyamory,  hurt/comfort, addiction problems, sickfic, revenge, fix it, friends to  enemies to lovers, lovers to enemies to lovers, Noah is complicated, cw:  dubious age stuff for a little bit considering Nasedo/Noah is  who-the-hell-knows how old.

Word Count: 3936

June 8th was graduation. In two weeks and a handful of days, everything would begin to change, and neither Nasedo nor Isobel knew how. It all depended on Rosa, and what path she decided to take. They tried not to expect anything. Rosa was human, after all, and it wasn't like they'd been together all that long. Still. Extraordinary things happened sometimes, didn't they? It was obvious they had a connection. Nasedo could sense it between the three of them. Rosa seemed to love them, and they knew they loved her. Nasedo knew that love wasn't always enough. If Rosa decided she couldn't trust them enough to leave Roswell with them, there was little they could do besides wait. Wait, and hope for the best.

It was one more reason why it was essential to figure out what she knew in regards to Valenti. The man was dangerous. If she saw him as a father figure, she might fall too easily under his sway, and then it would be a one way ticket to a laboratory somewhere. But how to ask about it, without prying and rousing Rosa's suspicion? It took a bit to cook up a plan, but it was simple. Direct, without being confrontational. All it took was Isobel's beautiful smile and a little lie. "I'm doing a project," Isobel said as they lounged under the bridge. Rosa was making some new stencils, her hair pulled up out of her face in the late-spring heat; she was gorgeous, and they hated to risk spoiling the moment, but it had to be done. "It's a paper regarding the 1947 crash. That guy you were gonna go see, didn't you say his name was Valenti?" Rosa peered up. "Yeah. Jim Valenti. Why?" "Oh, curiosity's sake. I read that his father was actually there that night. I guess their family has a long history in the military." "I knew he seemed like the type, but I didn't..." Rosa frowned, leaning back and studying her fingernails. "Do you think his family had something to do with killing your people?" "We have no way of knowing for sure, but it's possible." "I had no idea. He didn't tell me anything, except that he was sheriff for a while and was an alcoholic, like me. But if he was involved..." Isobel kept her tone docile, casual. "I trust you. I know you won't tell him." The look of disgust on Rosa's face said it all. She muttered something in Spanish about cops and the military, and returned to her artwork. Nasedo and Isobel relaxed, satisfied. She hadn't known about the connection, and now that she did, she knew to be careful. At least, that's what they hoped. Nasedo had an uncanny way of knowing if someone was lying. As far as he knew, Rosa was telling the truth. Once they got out of Roswell, it wouldn't matter anymore, anyways; they'd go somewhere no one knew them, and start over. Once night fell and gave them a reprieve from the incoming summer, Isobel drove them back out to the turquoise mines. Nasedo had discovered a small cave near his own, and decided to gift it to Rosa. It was up a hill and hidden behind some rocks, with smooth walls begging to be canvases. When Rosa saw it, her eyes lit up; Nasedo knew she was thinking the same thing. "But why me?" Rosa wondered, awe in her voice as her fingers traced the fractures in the rock. "Why don't you use it?" Isobel rested a hand on Rosa's back. "Nasedo has one. I don't need it. But you like having secret spots, right? Places to go when you need to be alone? We thought maybe it would be useful when you need to escape for a while." Rosa tackled them in a tight hug. "It's perfect. Thank you." She spun away from them, running her hands along the walls. "I can paint these, have candles here, maybe put a little space for books and art supplies over there..." It took Rosa a couple days to 'move in'. Once she was ready to share, Rosa brought them to the cave; it was a little bit gothic, a little bit romantic, and it suited her perfectly. There were flowers and lyrics painted all along the walls, plush pillows along the floor, and books. Treasures. The lit candles made shadows dance along the walls. It was warm, cozy. There was a faint smell of incense in the air, and it felt like a home. "You can come here whenever you want," Rosa said as Isobel explored the space. "I get you intended it to be for me, but I like sharing with you. And I get the feeling sometimes Nasedo needs to get away from Max." Isobel let out a little snort as Nasedo chuckled from the back of her mind. "Well, you're not wrong there. Thank you." They curled up on some of the pillows with Rosa, shoulder touching as they leaned against one another. Isobel peeked over at Rosa, who was glancing at Isobel's lips. "Can I kiss you?" Rosa grinned and nodded. She slid her hand behind Isobel's neck, leaning in; it was a short kiss, affectionate and pleasant, but it left butterflies in their stomach. Isobel was poised to tease Rosa about how much she was blushing, but then Isobel caught a whiff of something on Rosa's breath. Alcohol. Faint, but there was no doubt. She'd been drinking. Before Isobel could comment, Rosa was pulling out a small atlas with cheer alight in her expression. "I've come up with a list of places I want to visit someday. Wanna see?" "Of course." Maybe I was wrong, Isobel thought to herself. Nasedo didn't agree, but Isobel refused to broach the subject. She couldn't smell it anymore, and Rosa was bubbling over traveling to California, New York, and Paris someday, and how she would take them with her. She was genuinely happy. Why ruin the mood? They would ask her about it later. The way Rosa spoke, it was like she was planning to leave Roswell with them. She didn't say anything for sure, but that was alright; there was still time until graduation, after all. In the meantime, they wrote her little notes. Sometimes it was sweet sentiments, or a little doodle, or a bit of poetry or lyrics that they thought Rosa would enjoy. They slipped the notes into her jacket pocket or the covers of the books she was packing so that she would find them later, when she was settling into her hideaway. They signed the notes 'Ophiuchus'. At first, Rosa seemed thrilled. As time went on, though, the joy on Rosa's face faded. "I have something to do after work," Rosa said when Nasedo called her one night. "Maybe we can plan for something tomorrow?" Nasedo frowned. Something was wrong; there was a note of distress in Rosa's tone. "Are you alright?" "Yeah, yeah. My dad's really getting on my nerves, you know? Let's get together tomorrow." They went to the movies the next day, with dinner after. Isobel knew Rosa well enough to see that she was distracted. Agitated. She didn't seem angry, but she did seem nervous, and jittery. Isobel caught the distinct sour, heavy scent of booze on her. They waited until they were back in the car before Nasedo took over, wording what he was about to say with every ounce of care possible. "Rosa," he said, gentling his voice, "I'm glad we got to spend time together. I noticed you've been having a hard time tonight, though. Do you want to talk?" "No. I've got it under control. I just wanna have fun tonight." "Alright. If you change your mind, I'll be here for you." "Yeah." Rosa fell silent for a time, then sighed. "I've been drinking again. I know, I know. I suck. But things have been awful, and these people are trying to push me back into dealing. They've been hounding me since prom, right? It's been hell." Nasedo resisted the urge to growl. "Who are these people?" "It's okay. I'll handle it." "But if you're relapsing--" "I said I can handle it! What are you, my father?" Opening his mouth, Nasedo shut it again. "I'm sorry, Rosa. I'm sorry that I upset you." "No, don't apologize." Rosa shook her head. "I'm sorry, too. Let's go home. I should try and get some sleep or something, maybe I'll be less cranky tomorrow." And that's how it was. Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow. Everything would be better tomorrow, somehow, but they couldn't deny that Rosa was crashing. Something had happened, but she wouldn't tell them what. When she stopped responding to their texts, they went looking for her. Not at the school, not at work, not anywhere she'd normally be. Nasedo took them out to the turquoise mines, where they found her in her cave. She was curled up around a bottle of whiskey, half empty. "Rosa?" "Go away." Her words were slurred. "Wanna be alone." "I want to help. Please." "Can help by going away. Don't wanna talk right now." "You have been dodging us for almost a week, Rosa. How did you even get out here? There's no car." When she didn't reply, Nasedo felt a tremor of desperation. He lifted his hand and clenched it into a fist, pulling the arm back; the bottle of booze yanked from Rosa's hands and moved into his other hand. "Rosa, I can't let you destroy yourself. Please, talk to me." Rosa stared at Nasedo, her eyes suddenly sober. "What the fuck? Why did you do that?" "Because you're relapsing, hard, and I care about you too much to watch you kill yourself when we're so close to escaping from this place. It's so close to graduation." "I never said I was leaving with you." "You..." It felt like a slap in the face, but they had only been together for two months. It made sense that Rosa wasn't ready yet. "Okay. That's fair. But do you really want to stay here?" "Just get out. Leave me alone. If I need help, I'll fucking ask for it." "At least let me drive you back into town." Rosa slumped. She nodded, struggling to her feet and cursing under her breath; Nasedo reached out to steady her, but she yanked away and kept walking. They didn't speak on the way to the Crashdown. That was the way of things, though. Addicts hated confrontation, hated being made to face their addiction. They couldn't force her to let them help, so they took her to the cafe, waited for her to get inside, and left. "We'll give her a day or two to calm down," Isobel said soothingly as they got ready for bed. "I'm sure once she's slept it off, we'll be able to talk to her. There are some clinics in town. If we find a place for her to go, they might help her." "And if she won't?" "Then we love her, and support her until she chooses to accept help." Nasedo frowned, brushing out their hair. "I'm scared for her. I think, what if it was you? What if it was you, and you wouldn't let me help you? And it hurts. If I lost either of you, I'd..." "Hey. You won't lose either of us. Drugs and alcohol make you say and do some really mean things. You'll see. We'll visit her tomorrow, and things will be better." It was a comfort. It was also false. Isobel dressed them in black before they headed to the Crashdown. It made them look sleek, powerful, sexy, and they felt stronger in it. Isobel had written down the name and number of a drug and alcohol clinic nearby, and she had a speech prepared in her head. The next day was graduation, and after that they could focus fully on trying to keep Rosa safe. For now, they could at least try to talk some sense into her, if she was sober. By the time they got to the cafe, though, it was clear that things weren't going to go as planned. Standing in the back alley, Rosa was staring at her car, crying into her hands. Isobel glanced it over, realizing that someone had vandalized it. "Rosa?" "Not now." "Who did this?" "It was Kate and Jasmine. They're pissed that I stopped partying." Rosa sniffled, leaning against Isobel as she walked over. "They've been threatening to turn my dad over to ICE, and if he gets deported I don't know what we'll do." Nasedo pushed his way forward, taking over the body through pure, raw fury. "They're threatening your family? They're threatening you?" "Look, it doesn't matter. I don't I don't want Liz to see this, okay? She said that she needed the car this afternoon, and I just don't want her to worry." "At least let me help you clean it up." Her voice was odd. Cold, distant. "Don't. I'm fine. I don't need your help." "Hey. Did I do something wrong? I understand that yesterday sucked, but I didn't mean to scare you." "No, you didn't. Life just sucks. I thought Kate was my friend, but I guess I'm only her supplier. And my mom sucks, and Liz is gonna leave, and I found out that my dad..." Sighing, Rosa closed her eyes as Nasedo reached out. She let him touch her check, but then seemed to shake him off. Rosa looked up at him. She frowned, drawing away and curling her arms around herself as she backed towards the cafe. "You know, you're just, you're a lot. You're too much, and I can't... I can't handle it." Rosa turned and bolted into the cafe, the door slamming and locking behind her. Nasedo's hand still hung in the air; he dropped it to their side, staring at the spot where Rosa had stood mere moments before. She was scared. Overwhelmed. But he hadn't done anything wrong, right? He'd only been trying to help. He loved her. He'd do anything to keep her safe. Didn't she understand that? Anything. ... Anything. Nasedo turned on his heels and stormed towards their car, throwing himself behind the driver's seat and heading out to the road. He knew what he had to do. What must be done. All he had to do was find them. A Saturday night in Roswell? There was only one place. A small, pleading voice registered from the back of their mind. "Nasedo." "Quiet, Isobel." "Nasedo, whatever you're planning--" He gathered his strength and pushed her out. She didn't need to be there for this. She didn't need to see what was about to happen. She would only get in the way. Nasedo parked at the drive in movie theater, reclining in the warmth and waiting. It didn't take long, not in comparison to decades of rotting away in a pod. The horizon in the east turned dark, and the sunset in the west splashed gold and crimson and purple across the sky. That was when his attention landed on a pair of giggling, vapid humans. Smiling to himself, Nasedo got out of the car and crossed the parking lot towards them. "Hey Kate. Jasmine." Kate was the one to look over first. Her face was fair enough, but the sneer on her face revealed her ugliness. "Evans." She crossed her arms. "What do you want?" Nasedo shrugged. "Heard you were having some trouble getting your fix." "So? Aren't you friends with that little Mexican bitch?" "I thought maybe I'd help you out instead." "You?" Jasmine let out a bark of a laugh. "You do drugs?" Smiling, Nasedo twirled a lock of hair around his finger. "I know how to have a good time." The girls glanced at each other. Kate shrugged, which was all the convincing Jasmine needed. It was easy enough to lure them out into the desert, towards the mines. No one noticed two silly teenagers going off in the night. It was harder getting them to follow him, but the promise of fun proved too alluring. Well, it wasn't his fault they assumed it would be fun for them. It was almost too easy. He waited until they were ahead of him, and he used his power to twist their bones. Cut off their oxygen and blood. Jasmine was first, her neck breaking like so much glass under the sharp strike of a hammer. Kate turned in time to see it happen. Good. The horror on her face, the scent of it rushing through her energy, was electrifying. "Jasmine! What did you do to her?!" Nasedo grinned, baring his teeth as he prowled towards Kate. "The same thing I'm going to do to you." There was a moment of realization in Kate's eyes, but he flicked his wrist before she even blinked, and it was over. The air was silent. Still. Nasedo took in the sight of the bodies, trembling as he breathed in a rush of power. He'd never felt anything similar. Not that it was a psychological rush, or emotional even, but... Physical. He felt it in his body. It was like a weight lifting off his chest, or being able to breathe after struggling underwater. Something was different. But what? A sound made Nasedo pause. A sound, but farther away. It wouldn't have been audible to a human's sense of hearing, but he would recognize the sound anywhere. Crying. Distress. He turned his head towards the mines, pursing his lips. Rosa. Nasedo left the bodies where they lay, running towards Rosa's cave. Had she seen? Heard? Was she hurt? Countless scenarios went through his head. But as he got closer, the mystery only deepened. Rosa was throwing things around, growling. "What the hell? Where is it?!" She spun around when she spotted Nasedo. Her hands balled into fists, and there was fury rolling off her in waves. "Did you steal my backpack?" "We didn't steal anything from you." "You're the only ones who knew it was here! Damn it, I need to find it. Now." "I swear, we didn't take it. Why is it so important?" "Look..." Running her hands through her hair, Rosa hung her head and let out a slow exhale. "I get that you care about me, but I have to leave on my own. I need to get clean on my own. I got a ticket to go see Valenti, and I'm going to have him help me. He promised to help with my dad's citizenship, too." "Even after everything his family has done? You know what he'd do to us if he found out." "So I won't mention you. He'll help me. He's my real father, okay? He cheated with my mom, and she had me. That's why he wants to see me so bad. He's my father." The words hung in the air. Nasedo stared at Rosa, searching her face and energy for any sort of deception. None. It seemed laughable, but Rosa was avoiding his eyes. She was serious. "So you're going to trust what he says. A cheater and a liar." "I know that you don't want me to go, but I have to. I won't tell him anything, it's...I just need to figure things out in case Kate and Jasmine do something." Unwise words formed on his tongue. "What if they were out of the picture? If you didn't have to worry?" "What do you mean?" "If they were gone, would you stay?" "Gone." Rosa finally locked her gaze with his. "What do you mean by gone? What did you do to them?" Nasedo opened his mouth to answer, but he faltered. Why was it so hard to say it? It had felt so good, so right, at the time. Now he wasn't so sure. "Rosa, they wanted to hurt you. I felt it off them. So I hurt them first." Before he could say anything else, Rosa bolted. He ran after her, knowing that if she got too far outside the cave, she would see the bodies. No, no... But it was too late. She'd frozen a few yards from them, her hands covering her mouth as she let out a cry. Nasedo tried to understand, but he couldn't. She hated them. They hated her. They had planned to hurt her and her family. Why was she upset? "They're dead," Rosa choked out. She turned to him, tears in her eyes. "You killed them." "I wanted to protect you. I wanted to keep you safe." "You don't do that by murdering people!" "Please, Rosa. If they hurt you or your family when I was capable of doing something..." Nasedo stepped forward, and Rosa stepped backward. He hesitated. "You don't have to be scared of me, Rosa. I promise. Just come back, and I'll take care of this and we can talk. I'll even take you to Valenti if you want. Just come back." Rosa skittered away from the bodies, wiping her face with her hand. "Okay," she whimpered. "Okay. I'll come back with you. Let's go talk." But when she reached out to take his hand, Nasedo could feel it. Fear, disgust. Deception. "You're lying." His hand tightened around her wrist. "Why are you lying to me? What are you hiding?" "Let go of me, Nasedo." "You're going to tell him, aren't you?" "I don't know what you're talking about!" "Valenti!" Nasedo yelled, yanking Rosa to him. "You're going to run off and tell him. You promised, Rosa! You promised to keep our secret." "You killed two people! How can I trust you when you're a murderer?" "I did it for you!" Rosa struggled, scratching at him to try and get away. She was going to tell. She was going to tell, and there was only one option left. Nasedo felt his eyes sting as he pulled Rosa to his chest, one hand around her neck and the other over her mouth. She was trying to fight, but it didn't matter. He had her. It would be over soon. Isobel was fighting for control, screaming for him to stop. Oh, stars, his heart was shattering. "I did it for you," he whispered as his throat squeezed shut and tears slid down his cheeks. He didn't know if he was talking to Rosa, Isobel, or both. "Everything I did, I did for you." His hand glowed red as searing heat tore through his body, flowing into Rosa and curling through her brain and heart. One heartbeat, two, and her body went limp. Her eyes, so beautiful, gazed sightless towards the stars. Nasedo felt a sob catch in his chest, his head throbbing with pain as Isobel fought against him with everything in her. Something was changing inside them. Breaking. There was movement in front of him. A familiar form, staring at him in shock. "Isobel?" Michael called out. Nasedo's head shook, just a touch; Michael took in a sharp breath, and Nasedo sensed that he had figured it out, somehow. Michael didn't move closer, but he didn't back away, either. He just stared at Rosa's body with something like sorrow on his face. "What happened?" "She couldn't be trusted." He was losing control of the body, and so Nasedo did the only thing he knew to do. The one small, merciful thing, the last act of love he could manage before he was thrown out completely. Nasedo reached deep into Isobel's mind, and erased everything. Closing his eyes, he fell into the black pit of unconsciousness.

#roswell new mexico #roswell nm #roswell #roswell new mexico fanfiction #roswell nm fanfiction #roswell fanfiction #roswell new mexico fanfic #roswell nm fanfic #roswell fanfic #roswell new mexico fic #roswell nm fic #roswell fic #fanfiction #fanfic #fic #writing #isabel evans #rosa ortecho #noah bracken #cw: major character death #cw: temporary death #cw: death #cw: minor character death

[bambikippen]

we didn’t miss out

hi! so this wasn’t a request (i promise i’ll get to all the requests, though!), but i had an idea, and i really wanted to write it! i’m actually kind of proud of it??? i hope you like it!

also on ao3

Sometimes, TJ wished he could have had the classic high school romance. Someone who he could walk home with every day, and give chaste kisses to before he parted ways with in the hallway. He wished he could have brought someone to Prom, and matched his suit tie to their outfit. He longed for the late-night phone calls, and refusals to hang up. He wanted to leave notes in someone's locker, along with little boxes of chocolate on Valentine's Day. He wanted someone to call his own.

Watching all the couples around him give each other goodbye-hugs and overdramatic love declarations just amplified TJ's longing. It was the last day of twelfth grade, and the class had just finished their graduation ceremony. The students were all out on a field, taking photos and saying their goodbyes. Even though everyone would probably see each other again over summer break, the students couldn't control their tears. The air was filled with a sad sort of happiness, the kind you feel after something really great has happened, and you're glad that it happened, but upset that it's over.

TJ was excited for the next part of his life, he really was. He had gotten a basketball scholarship to a really great college, but he wouldn't be too far away from home, which is why he never thought he'd be one to cry at graduation. However, standing there, alone in the middle of the field, made him realize how different things were going to be. His eyes flooded with tears as he realized, for the first time, that he would never spend another school day with Cyrus again. So he decided right then and there that he needed to go find the boy.

It didn't take long to find him. The brunet was standing near Andi, surrounded by both his sets of parents, as well as Andi's parents and grandparents. As soon as Cyrus saw him, he immediately dropped the conversation he was having with his Step-Mom, and ran into his arms.

That was when TJ broke.

He dropped his head into the crook of Cyrus's neck, and let the tears flow. Cyrus did the same. They stayed like that for a while, just holding on to each other, and crying out all the emotions they had been holding in.

It was TJ who finally pulled away. "Hey, hey- it's gonna be okay. We still have all summer, right?" He let out a watery laugh.

Cyrus smiled and wiped at his eyes. "You're right, you're right," he chuckled. "Let's save the crying for August."

TJ nodded and looked back at the boy. Memories flooded into his mind as he stared into Cyrus's rheumy, dark eyes.

He thought about the first time they'd met, when he was still a bully with low math grades, and Cyrus was still prepubescent, with chubby cheeks and a short stature. At first, he had been annoyed with Buffy when she had forced him to get Cyrus a muffin, but when he looked down at the boy, he had immediately known that he would do anything for him.

He thought about the first time he'd ever really talked to Cyrus, on a swing set in the park. Cyrus had only ever heard awful stories about him, yet he still had tried to make him feel better. And it had worked. TJ knew right then and there that the small brunet boy sat next to him was going to be a very important person in his life.

He thought about how Cyrus had comforted him in the gym break room instead of watching Buffy's basketball game, because he was upset that he was failing his seventh-grade math class. He was terrified about the fact that he could have a learning disability, but the brunet's huge brown eyes took all the worry away and replaced it with ease.

He thought about Cyrus's Bar Mitzvah, when all he'd wanted to do was dance with the boy, but he knew he couldn't. Instead, he had sneakily opened the bottle of apple cider so Cyrus would be saved from the embarrassment of not being able to do it himself. He still had the sweatshirt he got with Cyrus's face on it, albeit a bit small now, it meant the world to him.

He thought about just how much Cyrus had helped him throughout eighth grade. After the incident with the gun, he had realized how important Cyrus was to him, much more than Reed or Lester ever had been. Cyrus had stayed up with him late at night through Face-Time calls, helping him with math questions and laughing at silly names in the word-problems. Cyrus had let him rant for hours after his parents announced their divorce, even though it was a sore subject for the younger boy.

He thought about December of their Freshman year, when his mom had to rush them to the hospital after she deemed Cyrus's constant complaining of a stomachache as appendicitis. It turned out she had been right, Cyrus had to get an an emergency appendectomy, and TJ had never been more worried in his life. Cyrus had to stay in the hospital for the first three nights of Hanukkah, and had been pretty bummed, so TJ helped his parents bring in the Menorah to his room and they celebrated there.

He thought about the spring formal they went to later that year. He and Cyrus were the only ones of their friend group who hadn't brought dates, so they hung around each other for the rest of the night. Jokingly, TJ had suggested that they dance together, but as he held Cyrus in his arms, he realized that he wanted it to be anything but a joke. It had become a bit of a tradition for them to stick around each other during the dances they went to throughout high school, but TJ had never had the courage to ask him out properly.

He thought about the summer before Sophomore year, when Cyrus had invited him and some other friends to spend a week at his lake house. It had been a week without worrying about money or summer projects or work, it was just fun. He and Cyrus had stayed up late every night on the deck to watch the stars, and it was then that TJ really realized he was in love with the boy.

He thought about the first time he let Cyrus see him cry, September of tenth grade, when he tore his ACL. Cyrus had held him tightly and rubbed his back while he sobbed uncontrollably, muttering anxiously about how he didn't know how his family would pay for the surgery. He was devastated because he would be out for the rest of that basketball season, and sophomore year was when the scouts started taking notice of players. TJ needed the scouts to notice him so he could get a college basketball scholarship, there was no way he'd be able to afford college without one. Cyrus had helped him through it though, he had carried his books around for the rest of the year and gone to his PT appointments with him. He had squeezed TJ's hand when the IV was put in before surgery, and he had been there when he woke up after. Cyrus had always been there with him.

He thought about his sixteenth birthday party in November of that year. It hadn't been anything extravagantly special, just a few friends and a lot of basketball-themed presents. They had put on cheesy music and danced around in their pajamas, TJ waving his crutches around like arms. Cyrus had come out to him that night during a game of truth or dare. Two turns later, TJ had come out to him too.

He thought about March, a couple of months later, when Cyrus got his driver's license. TJ had been forced to postpone getting his own, because of his knee injury, so Cyrus made it a habit to drive him around wherever he wanted to go. Cyrus's car wasn't anything fancy, but some of TJ's favorite moments were spent sitting in it with him and talking about nonsense for hours.

He thought about the first semester of Junior year, when everything had been a tangle of stress and tears and college applications. Eleventh grade was the year that mattered most to colleges, and he had put in more effort than ever to get high grades. It had been a struggle, Cyrus had taken different classes than him, so he couldn't help him as much. Just being in the same room as the younger boy filled TJ with motivation, though. His fondest memories of that year were spent in a completely silent room with Cyrus, both of them sitting next to each other with open books on their laps, deep in concentration.

He thought about his first time going to Prom. He had just assumed that Cyrus would go with him, so he never even formally asked. Cyrus had gotten that same idea as well. That seemed to be an ongoing theme for the two of them. They had a blast dancing and singing to the music though, but eventually it got too loud and boring, so they slipped out and bought baby taters at The Spoon.

He thought about the summer they spent together before Senior year. They had stayed over at each other's houses practically every night, but they never got tired of one another. They would talk about the most random of subjects, but it had been the best summer of TJ's life.

He thought about the annual ski trip for seniors that he and Cyrus went on together. He had tried to teach Cyrus to ski, but eventually the two of them got too cold so they went back to their room and cuddled under blankets. TJ never wanted to let go.

He thought about how excited Cyrus had been when he'd gotten the acceptance letter for his top college back in the mail. TJ had been so proud that he scooped him up and twirled him around; he had never seen Cyrus smile so big in his life. That was when he first began to realize that his and Cyrus's time together was coming to an end.

He thought about Cyrus now. Tall and lanky, but handsome nonetheless. He was smart and funny, and so incredibly caring, and TJ didn't know how he would be able to live without him. He'd been there with him through everything, and TJ couldn't let that all go to waste now. So as Cyrus curiously gazed at him, he removed the graduation cap from atop his head, and covered the sides of his and Cyrus's faces with it. Then, he wrapped his other arm around the brunet's waist, pulled him in close, and kissed him like he had wanted to for years. After a moment of shock, Cyrus grabbed the sides of TJ's head and pulled him in even closer, kissing back with an eager hungriness. Neither of them cared that people's grandparents were probably staring at them right now. Neither of them cared that they were five years late. Neither of them cared that they were outing themselves to the entire school. All they cared about was the taste of each other's lips, and the love that they shared. Five years of words that they had both been too afraid to say were spoken as electricity zapped through their bodies and down to their toes.

As they finally parted, TJ leaned his forehead against Cyrus's and caught his breath. Both of them had tears running down their face, but they were smiling like idiots as well. TJ managed to pull Cyrus even closer, and he never wanted to let go, because he knew this was goodbye. Yes, he would see Cyrus all summer. Yes, there would be a lot more tears to come. But this, this was an end of an era. This was goodbye.

Sometimes, TJ wished he could have had the classic high school romance. Someone who he could walk home with every day, and give chaste kisses to before he parted ways with in the hallway. He wished he could have brought someone to Prom, and matched his suit tie to their outfit. He longed for the late-night phone calls, and refusals to hang up. He wanted to leave notes in someone's locker, along with little boxes of chocolate on Valentine's Day. He wanted someone to call his own. But he did have this someone. He had Cyrus. Cyrus, who walked to his classes after they were over, even when they were on opposite sides of the school. Cyrus, who drove him home every day because he couldn't afford his own gas. Cyrus, who gave the warmest hugs out of anyone he knew. Cyrus, who danced with him at Prom even though they hadn't "officially" gone together. Cyrus, who stayed up with him all night when he needed help with homework or was feeling down. Cyrus, who hand-baked muffins for him every holiday, even though there was a bakery right down the street. Cyrus, who loved him, and who he loved as well.

So no, he hadn't had a boyfriend throughout high school. But he had Cyrus, so really, he hadn't missed out on anything at all.

(except for maybe the sneaky bathroom make-out sessions. but hey, that could come later ;))

send me prompts 

other one shots

accompanying art

#tyrus #tyrus one shot #oneshot #fanfic #fics #graduation #tyrus graduation #tears #crying #happy ending #first kiss #pining #love #andi mack #andi mack tyrus #fanfiction #tyrus fanfiction #tyrus fanfic

[beifongsss]

heartbroken [p.p.]

~

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader (sorta?)

Warnings: Ummmm...angst??? idk??? also, both Peter and the reader are aged up and are 17/18 years old as well as seniors in high school.

also, gif isn’t mine but look at how cute he is. what a dork am I right? this is based on something that happened to me btw 

(AND YES I KNOW LIZ IS OLDER BUT PLS JUST RPETEND <333)

~

Peter Parker could go die in a hole...at least, that’s what you had convinced yourself to believe over the past few years. 

You had first met the shy, brown-eyed boy when you transferred to Midtown your sophomore year. You had shared both Chemistry and World History with him and eventually, you had found yourselves exchanging numbers and texting each other almost nightly. Over time, you found yourself crushing hard on the brunette and your friend was convinced that he felt the exact same way.

Unfortunately, with the end of sophomore year came the end of your friendship as well. Peter got involved with Tony Stark himself, having won a seemingly too good to be true internship with Iron Man himself. You on the other hand, found yourself getting involved in various academic competitions that ranged from robotics to Science Olympiad (which is something that gets super competitive in my school like what the heck).

Your feelings never faded however, and even though you didn’t share a single class with him your junior year, you were convinced that your heart would always belong to Peter Parker. Your saving grace seemed to arrive your senior year, and when you found out that you would both have the same English Lit class, you rushed to class and “accidentally” chose the seat right next to Peter’s.

He had greeted you with a soft smile and in that moment, you knew that a part of you would always be pining after Peter.

~

“Hey, did you hear what happened between Peter and Liz?” Betty Brant greeted you as she fell into step next to you. You looked at her in confusion before shaking your head.

“Apparently, Liz confessed her feelings for Parker and he was a complete dick about it,” Betty continued. “He’s been talking to Ned and MJ about her behind her back.”

You gasped softly, not being able to believe that Peter had done that. However, the more you thought about it, the more you found yourself believing her words. Peter had admittedly changed quite a bit since getting the Stark Internship and you knew that Betty had never lied to anyone. 

You were close to the Allan girl. Apart from Peter, she had been the one to immediately take you under her wing, introducing you to her friend group and eventually becoming one of your closest friends. You couldn’t process the fact that Peter had been rude to someone, much less someone as sweet and caring as Liz. 

You immediately grew upset at the news and you felt overprotective of Liz. 

That exact moment is when your love crush began turning into something sour.

~

The rest of senior year seemed to pass by in a flash and throughout the months, you found yourself being bitter towards Peter whenever eh tried to mend your broken friendship. 

If he had treated Liz that way, why did you think he would be any different with anyone else. Liz was a wonderful girl and for Peter to simply blow her off like that pissed you off to no end. 

Growing apart from Peter led to you growing closer to Michelle, or as she told her friends to call her, MJ. She allowed you to rant about Peter to her, promising that she would never tell him anything and even participating in your little rants herself. 

You could feel your heart ache whenever you said anything remotely negative about Peter but you were still blinded by Betty’s words, even though it had been months since you had heard them. 

Eventually, prom came and went and you found yourself with two weeks of school left before graduation. Throughout the whole year, you had remained civil with Peter but you had never tried to mend the bridges that had been burned between the two of you. 

Yearbooks were distributed and you found yourself putting off gathering signatures due to your upcoming finals. When your finals were done with, you rushed around the school, finding all your friends and getting them to sign the empty spaces in your yearbook. You knew that you were going to have Peter sign your yearbook. No matter how much his actions had disappointed you, you needed a simple reminder of him given that you would be leaving New York for college.

You had shot him a quick text in English, asking him to sign your yearbook. When he looked up and smiled before nodding, you felt your heart flutter and you knew that your long-held crush was still present no matter what you told both yourself and others. 

Peter held on to your yearbook for a good ten minutes, and you couldn’t help but grow anxious as he signed away. When the bell rang, he returned your yearbook and you swiftly grabbed it and darted out of the classroom before he could speak. 

Even though you had promised yourself that you wouldn’t read anyone’s paragraphs, you couldn’t keep yourself from reading Peter’s entry. As your eyes skimmed his writing, you felt your heart leap into your throat. He had written various sweet comments but what else had you expected from Peter?

You could feel the guilt settling into the pit of your stomach as you thought back onto every little thing you had ever said about Peter after the whole Liz incident. 

“(Y/N),” Peter had written. “You were the only reason I ever bothered showing up to this class. You made English Lit interesting and fun and I got to enjoy so many special moments with you in that class. You are able to light up an entire room with your presence and I know that you definitely made my days better.”

He continued to go on and wish you luck before taking that back, saying that you were so amazing that you didn’t need luck. 

When Peter asked you to sign his yearbook the next morning, you found yourself pouring out all your feelings for the brunette boy and apologizing about your attitude all year long but not giving him a reason as to why. You told him how selfless and kind he was and how those qualities were what made you fall for him in the first place. 

Content with your writing and Peter’s promise to not read your entry until after graduation, you returned his yearbook and gave him a hug, ignoring MJ’s knowing look as you did so. 

~

The rest of your time in high school passed by ridiculously fast and on the day before graduation, you found yourself talking to MJ as Peter finished signing people’s yearbooks. 

“I don’t get it,” MJ’s voice interrupted your thoughts. “Why don’t you just confess your feelings to him?”

“I already did MJ,” you replied with a playful roll of your eyes. 

“I mean in person, face to face,” MJ replied, unamused.

“I-I can’t,” you stuttered, eyes widening in shock as you contemplated her idea. 

“Why do you ‘hate’ Parker so much anyways?” MJ questioned, genuinely curious.

You sighed before explaining. “Because he was a dick to Liz when she told him she liked him.”

MJ snorted loudly before laughing. “Parker? Being a dick? Yeah that’s funny.”

“That’s what Betty told me,” you said defensively. “And we all know that Betty never lies.”

“Well Betty was wrong,” MJ said right as the bell rang. “Liz and Peter are actually very good friends now. After she confessed, he didn’t know how to respond so he came to me for help. I told him to be honest and tell Liz he didn’t like her in that way and he did. Liz didn’t get upset and instead they both worked on being friends instead.”

You could feel the guilt flooding you once again as your heart dropped into your stomach and tear sprung to your eyes. 

“Oh no,” you whispered. “You mean that I’ve hated Peter Parker for absolutely no reason?”

MJ carefully nodded her head, knowing that you were overcome with guilt at the moment. “I guess so. Peter was never a dick to Liz.”

You frantically looked around the classroom, hoping that Peter had stayed behind after the bell rang. You were out of luck, as Peter had already bolted out of school to go on patrol, unbeknownst to you.

~

The graduation ceremony was dull and you only paid attention when one of your friend’s name was called. You had only seen Peter once, and that had been when he had walked cross the stage to receive his diploma. 

As the ceremony came to an end and the graduates began to walk out, you were met by MJ. 

“So have you apologized yet?” she asked softly. You shook your head.

“No,” you whispered. “I haven’t seen him and now I probably won’t see him ever again. All he’s going to do is read my dumb paragraph on his yearbook and wonder why I was such a bitch if I supposedly liked him.”

MJ’s face paled slightly as she spoke her next words. “Listen, (Y/N), this is probably not what you want to hear right now but I think that you deserve to know. Peter had a crush on you. He has, ever since sophomore year. That’s why he turned down Liz. He wanted to ask you out so many times but he was always afraid that you’d say no.”

Your face fell at MJ’s words and you struggled to keep from sniffling. You were absolutely certain that Peter Parker was the right guy for you...and now you’d never see him again. 

“Thanks for telling me MJ,” you whispered as you started to walk towards your waiting parents. You could see MJ go to speak but decide against it, knowing that your heart was hurting like crazy at the moment.

“Of course. Keep in touch (Y/N),” MJ whispered instead, watching you walk away with a crestfallen look in her eyes. 

As you walked away from the building, you couldn’t help but feel as though you were walking away from Peter himself. You knew it was too late but you regretted everything you had said and done about the whole Liz situation. 

And so you walked away, leaving Peter behind and instead leaving with a broken heart.

#peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter x reader #sm:h #spider-man #Spider-Man: Homecoming #spider man x reader #spiderman x reader #tom holland #tom holland x reader #mj jones #michelle jones #liz allan #betty brant #Spider-Man x reader

[petri808]

Right in Front of You

Fic Writer’s Appreciation- January 2018 Writing Challenge January (2018) Day 14  Present

AU NaLu Story

The young blonde cheerleader had a lot of friends throughout high school.  Beautiful and friendly, she could bounce through any clique she wanted, the popular kids, jocks, geeks, it didn’t seem to matter, but her core group of friends at Fairytail high was really a mish-mosh of all the above.  They were kids that grew up together since the days of tag and jungle gyms, though adolescence and puberty, till finally adulthood was right around the corner.  

But among this group there was one, a boy that she was closest to over all of them.  Natsu and Lucy had lived just a few doors down from each other and since their parents had been friends, play dates started before they could even walk.  So, it was no surprise that the two would share a special bond.  

For her, Natsu was like the brother her parents never gave her, and he watched over her like one, fiercely protective and supportive.  It was obvious by 9th grade that his feelings toward Lucy had changed from merely a friend to a more romantic once but she couldn’t see him that way and it hurt.  

Every time she’d break up with a boyfriend, it was his shoulder she would cry on; and he’d grin and bear it.  Every time she celebrated a win in Cheer or acing a test, it was in his arms she’d find herself; and he’d gladly take it.  But every time he’d broach the idea of them...  she’d pull away.  Why?

All through high school this charade went on, and continued even after graduation when she left for college in a different city and he stayed behind at the local university.  They kept in touch through texts and social media, sometimes spending hours on the phone, especially when she was having a bad day; he was there for her.  Lucy visited during her first winter break and spent much of her time hanging out with him.  Spring break came, same deal.  

Finally, her first summer vacation from college and the young woman was ready for a long break from school.  Natsu picked her up at the airport like he usually did, and they made plans to hang out with their friends.  Everyone was home for the summer but there were a few new faces in the bunch.

Levy had met a guy in college, Gray a new girl, but there was also one more that had started hanging with them, a student at Magnolia U.  According to Levy, Lisanna was in a couple of Natsu’s classes and one day just started coming around.  But Lucy thought nothing of it, Natsu wasn’t her boyfriend so if he was interested in another girl, that was his choice.

Besides, he sure didn’t act like he was.  From the moment Lucy arrived home, he was glued to her hip like nothing had changed.  Part of her felt bad for the other girl when she could see the hurt in her eyes, but maybe a small part of her was happy that she didn’t have to share him with someone else.  It was selfish, of course, it’s not like she’d ever put his feeling first when she dated other guys, but she figured if he didn’t like it, wouldn’t he say something?

It’s amazing how quickly time flies when your having fun and before she knew it, Fall semester would be starting up in just a couple of weeks.  Some days, Lucy wondered, was there a good reason why she had chosen to go away for college since most of her closest friends all stayed home?  Magnolia U and Crocus U offered similar programs, were ranked the same, and tuition wasn’t the issue.  

And tonight, that question came up again but not by her, but Natsu.  He had taken her to the bluffs overlooking the lake where they could relax and lie back on the hood doing something she enjoyed; stargazing.  It was a special place for the long-time friends, one that only they shared and no one else, going there ever since they were allowed to go out at night on their own.  

She was using his arm like a pillow, as they chatted…

“Luce, could I ask you something?”

“Of course, you can.” She turns her head to look at him.

But his eyes stay facing the sky, “Why’d you go so far away for college?”

“Honestly, sometimes I ask myself the same question.  I think I just wanted to experience something different.”

“Don’t you miss having your friends around all the time, I mean I’m sure you’ve made plenty more in Crocus, but, do you ever miss… me?”

“I do miss everyone, especially you, and I’ve made some friends, but I focus mostly on school while I’m there.  I don’t even want a boyfriend until I finish college.”

He turns his head away, “Oh.”

“Why the sudden question, Natsu?”

“It’s nothing…”

Lucy props her head up, “I know you Mr. Dragneel,” turning his face towards her, “if something is bothering you just tell me.”

He exhales, “What would you do if there was someone you liked, and they didn’t seem to feel the same way too, would you try to find out, or would you just move on?”

The young girl blinks, she hadn’t expected that kind of question.  “Well,” she bites her lip, “I really don’t know since I’ve never had that happen to me.”

“Don’t worry,” he fakes a smile, “Forget I asked,” and changes the subject.  “Are you excited for Fall semester?”

“MmHmm,” she nods, “The classes I have are gonna be hard, but I’m looking forward to the Creative Writing class.”

“That’s good, you always were an amazing writer.” He looks back to the sky, “It’s such a beautiful night…  I wish it never had to end.”

“Yeah…” Lucy lies back too.  But her mind is swimming by that last comment, and the way his voice sounded was so sad.  She can see through a side glance that his brows had furrowed like he was still thinking about something…

By mid-September, Lucy was certain, something was amiss.  She and Natsu’s daily and constant text messages had dwindled to every few days, their often hour, long phone calls became shorter and shorter and she was lucky if she spoke to him once a week.  Finally, she asked him about it one day and he feigned being busy with school, classes were harder, football season, etcetera; but she didn’t believe him.  

It was Levy who confirmed it, Natsu had a girlfriend and it was the one she met during the summer.  ‘Why didn’t he just tell me,’ Lucy sat in her dorm after the news.  Why hide such information?  Did he think she’d get upset?  It’s not like they were a couple or anything.  She’s angrier that she had to find out from Levy than if he had just been honest with her himself.  All those excuses he gave her…  

She grabs her phone ready to give him a tongue lashing.  ‘But what if he’s with her right now?’ the phone drops back to her lap.  ‘I could leave a message if he doesn’t answer…  No if I call now, how will that make me look?  Desperate, a fool?’

“Ugh!” she drops onto her back on the bed.  “Whatever!  If he wants a girlfriend let him!  What do I care!”  Sighing, ‘Why the hell am I getting so angry!’ and curling into a ball, Lucy feels like, like she’s lost him…  Images of his smiling face, memories of his embrace, pictures after pictures, too many over their lifetime reminding her how close they once were.  He was always there for her, always…

“What would you do if there was someone you liked, and they didn’t seem to feel the same way too, would you try to find out, or would you just move on?”  It was like a ton of bricks falling on the young blonde, ‘Natsu, had you been talking about me?’  Now all those memories seemed to be telling a different tale, not of two friends but something that should have been more.    

Lucy clicks the home button on her iPhone revealing the lock screen of her and Natsu at Senior Prom.  She had been staring straight at the camera smiling and he had been looking at her.  Up till now, the young girl just thought it was cute picture of the two of them having fun but as she looks closer at the image, his eyes…  they were… ‘Oh my God!  I’m such an idiot!’  …filled with longing…                  

A pain in her heart, stabbing, searing; she clutches at her chest as the dam bursts and tears flood down her cheeks faster than her sobs could keep up with.  As a little girl she would dream about finding her soulmate and living happily ever after like in a fairytale and all this time, all this time; he had been right in front of her.    

“…I wish it never had to end…”  She hears his voice again, the sadness of its tone, replaying like a broken record and she bangs her head with her fists trying to make them stop.  How could she give up everything she’s ever known?  Natsu had always been there, 19 years…  You can’t just make 19 years of memories vanish…  But, there’s no way she can face him now.  She was too embarrassed and a little angry at both herself and him.  ‘Why didn’t he just tell me how he felt!?’  

After that night, and that revelation Lucy avoided all contact with Natsu, though she didn’t have the heart to block his number.  When he called, she let it go to voice mail, when he texted, they went unread and what had begun with less contact by him reversed by the first week of October.  He was calling or texting multiple times a day, sending messages through social media, even friends began contacting her concerned if she was okay.  With them she acted like she was fine, never telling the real reason she was blowing him off, but with him, silence.  

Fall break came, and she didn’t go home.  

By the beginning of November, Natsu’s contacts slowed down.  He was still calling or texting daily but not in multiples.  But the messages were growing sadder, even his posts on Instagram were becoming depressing.  Their friends begged her to contact him, but she refused, making up excuses that she was simply giving him space… since he had a girlfriend.            

Winter break came, but she stayed in Crocus.

On Christmas Day, Natsu left her a phone message wishing her a Merry Christmas, saying he wished she had come home because he misses her.  It hurt, she wasn’t gonna lie.  So finally, she sent him the first text message in months, simply reading ‘Merry Christmas too’.

Her parents were aware of what she was doing, it was unavoidable since she had to explain not coming home to visit.  They told her the Dragneels were concerned about their son and she, and they agreed with them that this rift was becoming ridiculous.  But she told them she was still angry that to this day, he has still not told her the truth about his girlfriend.  If he was such the friend he was supposed to be, why hadn’t he been honest with her, she spat back.  They were both young and inexperienced in such matters was her mother’s response and she should just forgive him.  I’ll think about it is all the young girl could agree to.

Valentines Day.  

That morning was like any other for the college girl, with no significant other, she went about her day, going to class, and returning to her dorm by 3pm.  But around 4:30 there is a knock at the door and a courier standing there with a dozen long stemmed red roses and a small red box.  Thinking maybe she had a secret admirer or something she carries the items to her bed and pulls out the card; it was from Natsu.

She blinks, ‘Is he crazy?  Why the hell would he send me something for Valentines day?  And if that girlfriend of his ever found out…’  but her eyes grow wide when she opens the box for inside is a silver promise ring and it’s engraved, ‘Natsu and Lucy Forever’.  Taking the card out of it’s envelope, she reads the message…

“Lucy, I don’t know what else to say at this point except, I’m sorry.  Whatever I did to hurt you, I’m sorry.  And now, I just…  No matter if you never forgive me, please know you will be the only girl I’ll ever truly love.  Forever yours, Natsu”

And as if there had been a camera watching her, her phone pings alerting her to a message.  She’s almost afraid to read it but she opens the text and it’s a picture of his left hand, a matching ring on his finger.  Her hand flies up to her mouth, ‘Impossible!  No way his girlfriend would allow that!’  But the gesture tugs at her heartstrings, Lucy may be angry, but she doesn’t hate him, she may not have forgiven him yet, but, ‘I still love him too…’  

So, she puts the ring on a chain around her neck for now.  

Spring Break.

In no uncertain terms her family tells her she’s coming home for a visit whether she likes it or not, and Levy and the others had been threatening to kidnap her and drag her back to Magnolia too if she didn’t so what choice did she have?  Lucy missed them terribly, she just hoped to avoid Natsu while she was home, but it’s too bad for Lucy because they had other plans.

As she walked through the jetway, a part of her hoped Natsu would be standing at his car waiting for her at the curb like their routine had been but how could he when he shouldn’t even know she was home, right?  Her head hung down, maybe Levy and her parents had been right, maybe it was time she forgave him, I mean he was a guy and guys do dumb things all the time, plus it wasn’t all his fault either, part of the blame lay with her for being blind.  

Grabbing her suitcase from the baggage claim…  Even if he had a girlfriend, Natsu was still the closest person to her.  No one else, except maybe Levy as a close second knew her better.  But it would be awkward, if Lucy put herself in Lisanna’s shoes, what girlfriend would put up with their boyfriend being so close to another girl?  Making her way out to the curb…

“Lucy?”

A familiar voice.  She looks up.  “N-Natsu?  What are you doing here?”  ‘Are those bags under his eyes?  He doesn’t look like he’s getting any sleep.’

“I always pick you up at the airport.” He takes the suitcase from the frazzled girl.  

“B-but you weren’t supposed to know I was coming.”      

He frowns, “I know, but your parents asked me to get you.”

‘They are gonna hear it from me!’ she screams in her head.  “Alright fine, just take me straight home.”

Natsu doesn’t respond, just simply puts her bag in the trunk and get into the car.  Lucy sits in the passenger side and stares out the window as they head away from the airport.  ‘Weren’t you on the verge of forgiving him?’ her conscious chimes, ‘Tch, I didn’t say that.’  ‘Admit it, stop being angry and just get it over with…’  

She sighs, and props her head with her hand.  Natsu looks over but doesn’t say anything.  Holding in all these emotions, especially the anger was becoming taxing on her.  Lucy had never been one to hold a grudge for so long against anyone and she despised feeling negative.  But maybe it had more to do with the person rather than the situation.  Since Natsu was such a large part of her existence, his affects on her were also amplified.  

Closing her eyes, another sigh, ‘I can’t keep doing this, it hurts too much…’

When she opens her eyes again, it’s only at that point that she realizes they are going in the opposite direction from her parent’s house.  She turns to the Natsu, “Where are you taking me?  I said I wanted to go straight home.”

Staring straight at the road, “I know you did, but we’re going to our spot first.”

“Our spot?  You can’t just kidnap me…”

“You damn well know I’d never do anything to hurt you Luce,” he sighs, “But we need to talk.”

“Fine,” she looks away again, “what choice do I have…”

When he stops the car, Natsu doesn’t even wait for her to get out before he does and sits on his hood with his head hung.  Lucy’s parents had asked him two days ago to pick her up at the airport despite knowing the two friends weren’t talking.  But both her parents and his told him he, they needed to fix this and now.  He had spent these couple of days in dread trying to figure out what he was going to say to her.  

They were right, Natsu knew they were right.  Everyone told him she was hurting just as much as he was, and they were both being stubborn.  But that assessment wasn’t fair, at least in his mind because he had tried, and tried talk to her but what could he do if she wasn’t responding, wasn’t answering, hell not coming home?  The rings he bought, they weren’t exactly cheap!  Another problem was he didn’t know why she was avoiding him and no one knew the full answer either.

Lucy sat there for several minutes just watching him through the windshield.  She could be a bitch and refuse to get out of the car but…  Things were so much easier when she was miles away and they weren’t face to face because looking at him… the pain he was feeling, the low energy of the usually gregarious young man, it was killing her.  

She gets out and leans on the closed passenger door.  “Well, you wanted to talk, so, talk.”

“Why are you mad at me Lucy?”

“Are you serious?  You really haven’t figured it out by now?”

He looks at her, “If I had, don’t you think I would have tried to fix it?!”

“Tch, I don’t know,” looking away, “I mean you were stupid enough to do it in the first place.”  

“Do what!” he walks over and traps her between his arms.  “Just tell me what I did!”

She faces him and narrows her eyes, “Pick a reason!  You started dating that girl and you didn’t tell me.  You started not answer my texts or calls and the times you did answer our conversations got shorter and shorter.  Then the excuses of why you weren’t talking to me like we used to…”  Tears are streaming down her face, but her anger is a train without brakes.  “…I knew it didn’t sound right but you kept lying and I finally got it out of Levy that it’s cause you had a girlfriend!”

Punching his chest, “You’re my best friend, my best friend!” she hits his chest again, “And yet you lied to me and kept lying to me.  Why keep her a secret?  What the hell were you so afraid of that you couldn’t tell me the truth?!”

“You want the truth?  Yes, I lied to you because I didn’t want you to think I was moving on.  You said on these bluffs last summer you didn’t like anyone and that broke my heart because, because… Ahh what does it matter anyways!” he slaps the door frame and walks away to the edge of the cliffs.  Looking at the sky, “You just couldn’t see what was right in front of your face all along.”

“And what’s that?” she responds, but her voice is trembling

Hanging his head, “How much I love you.”

“But, you have a girlfriend…”

“Had, Luce, I broke up with her by the end of September once I realized no one could ever take your place in my heart.”

Lucy pulls the chain from around her neck and slips the ring on.  Her parents were right, she needed to fix this too.

“Natsu…” she wraps her arms around him and leans her cheek against his back.  “I’m sorry too.  I-I had no idea you felt so strongly about me, a-and the truth is,” exhale, “I was angry that you lied but, I was angrier at myself for not seeing it sooner, and, I took that out on you.  It was easier to blame you than to point the finger back at me.”

She squeezes, “I’m sorry!  I’m so, sorry Natsu!  I was such a bitch to you and that was wrong.  You were right, I was too blind to see what was right in front of me.”

Lucy feels him unfurl the fingers on her left hand and rub over the ring, “You’re wearing it?” a bit of surprise in his tone.  

He feels her nod, “From the moment I received it.”

“I…  didn’t think you would…” Natsu’s voice stutters.  

Letting go, Lucy walks around to face him and takes his left hand, rubbing over his ring, “This is a beautiful gift…” she looks up at him and smiles, “I can’t change the past, and I can’t guarantee the future but now, in this moment, I see what’s right in front of me.”

“And what’s that,” he caresses her cheek, rewarding her with the smile that always makes her feel better.

“How much I love you too…”

#veraspromptchallenge2018 #day14 present #nalu fanfiction #natsuxlucy #austory