#like even tho he struggled he really pulled thru and I love him and I’m so proud but also why am I such a fuck up and why does no one

[milo-is-rambling]

I know I should be excited for my brother but this whole thing feels like it’s going to be hours and hours of me feeling like a failure while my brother is happy and it’s so hard to step out of myself and be fully happy for him without feeling like a shitty disappointment

#still so upset i didn’t even get the fun graduation or prom or anything parts of high school bc I dropped out and got my ged and here my #brother is graduating for the second time and everyone’s showering him with love and praise but I had to fucking struggle to even get my GED #and no one really celebrated at all #idk. I just don’t see myself going to college really so it’s hard to think about one never getting any of this for me and two my dad not #being here to see it bc normally he was the one who would understand when I was being selfish and he would talk me out of it or at least try #while my mom was just praising my brother and being happy for her son my dad was always comforting me #ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh I feel like a failure who’s dad is dead #crying in the car waiting for my mom to get to graduation #vibes are bad but I’m so happy for my brother and so proud cause this whole thing kicked his ass and to even be in a place where he can walk #at graduation and do summer courses is incredible #like even tho he struggled he really pulled thru and I love him and I’m so proud but also why am I such a fuck up and why does no one #celebrate when I do well especially after being such a fuck up #ugh. #so sick of crying I’m gonna be crying all day #fuck this fuck this fuck this fuck this I want to stay in the car forever and do nothing

[blogging-thots]

July 3 2022

Today I worked at the Pizza restaurant and we had two new people (one of them used to work there but came back this month) that came in and one of them was taking tables and the other one was working drive thru (I work drive thru all the time bc I don’t take tables) but today was so slow that we had to take turns with drive thru but the really new girl kept standing near the drive thru window, so it was hard for me to try to work at drive thru too, which I was upset but didn’t say anything bc I didn’t want to be mean and act like I own that position.

I could’ve made $30-40 today but bc that new girl kept being there I only made $20 (not bad bc last week I barely made that much but still tho 😕😕😕)

There’s also a cook there that gets on my nerves sometimes, but he’s been keeping his distance from me lately, which I don’t mind at all bc when he used to bother me a lot, I would be so annoyed and stressed, but he gave me a compliment about my hair being cute when it’s pull up with a hair claw and that it looks good on me and I laughed and was thinking “wtf eww” 😂😂😂 like thanks for the compliment but eww lmao and he thought I was turning red bc of the compliment but f—no I was red bc I was getting hot as f from mopping the floors bc it was so f—- hot in the restaurant bc the AC was kept on 74F and that’s f—- hot for me especially when moving around a lot. Not him thinking I’m getting red from the compliment like bishhhhh in your dreams lmao. 😂😂😂

I go to orientation on July 6, 9AM, and I’m excited/ nervous bc it’s been so long since I’ve been in school and at 3:30PM my college bff 👯‍♀️will pick my up from school and we’ll hangout for a little 😁😊 I wonder if we’ll get uniforms from our program for free or we have to pay (???) I hope we don’t have to bc I’m so brokeeeeee 😢😢😢😢😢

I’m working hard towards having a good future for myself. I want a stable job and financial status, so I don’t have to work a restaurant job and clean toilets like I do now and struggle w/ money like everyday. I never thought my life would get to this point where I’m the only one working and my parents not working bc my mom never worked ever since she came to USA and my dad not being able to work bc he’s not physically flexible like before. I think if we never moved to TX and stayed in CA, I think life would be okay and good enough to live w/o worrying about money and how we’ll pay for bills. I don’t ever want to be kicked out home for not having money to pay rent. Idk what I’ll do if I ended up homeless, living on the streets. My dad’s side doesn’t bother helping financially knowing his physical condition and they have good money to not worry about their financial status. My mom’s side has helped us financially so much that they get mad at us now bc we always ask for money every month, so we can have enough to pay rent and now my grandma cannot help anymore bc business isn’t busy like before. I know when I get my biggest paycheck I will pay my grandma first and then my uncles and will buy grandma delicious foods! My grandma deserves the best and the whole world ! She worked her whole life from young to elderly and deserves the best vacation and time w/ family W/ NO STRESS!! I feel such a burden to her and my family members bc they work hard to make their money and then there’s me and my parents… we are useless people.

Sometimes I want to disappear 🫠🫠🫠 (not die ofc) so I can stop being a burden to others. I feel sometimes that I’m a burden to my bffs even though they say I’m not but I feel they just tell me that so I wouldn’t be sad. I know they love me and I love them too, but sometimes these negative thoughts get to the best of me and causes me to overthink when in reality they probably really care for me. 🫠🫠🫠

Anyways, I hope I can get free books when I apply for this college grant bc books are so expensive like those books can pay for my rent and electricity (WHY ARE COLLEGE BOOKS SO EXPENSIVE?!?!?!??!!! THIS SHOULD BE ILLEGAL) I also hope I’ll receive a TX GRANT that way it’ll help w/ books & bills (((:

I MUST STAY FOCUS 🧘 AND I PRAY THAT I’LL SOON HAVE A STABLE JOB & INCOME 🙏🙏🙏🙏

(Still looking for a better job w better pay🙃🙃🙃🙃 I’ve been saying that countless times… I’m so picky 😅😅😅)

#blog post #my thoughts #college #life #rants n rambles #rant post #school #student #coworkers #rambles #personal rant #sorry for the rant #rip me i guess #sad boi hours #college student

[oinkawa-bb]

first time dads!haikyuu pt.3

request: Hiii I just read everything you’ve posted and I. Am. In. Love with your writingggg! I was hope to request a part 3 for your first-time dad series for Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, Kenma, and Akaashi :) -@lollypop-lam

note: ahhhh!!!! helloo bb~~ thank you so much for your luv<3333 i was rly not expecting so many ppl to read this series!! but i enjoy writing it so here’s a part 3 for you (i tried to add more variety of scenarios for y/n so it’s not all the same!) hehe i hope you like it! thank you for ur request!<3 here is dad!tsukki, akaashi, yams, and kenma

mentions: pregnancy, domesticity, fluff, slight angst, timeskip, fem!reader

part one (daichi, kuroo, oikawa)

part two (iwaizumi, suna, atsumu, osamu)

☀︎—kei tsukishima

he already knew something was different since the day you took the test

kei could sense that you were tenser than usual 

Exhibit A was when you slightly jumped as he placed one hand gently on the small of your back,

it was really nothing out of the ordinary...

so he raises an eyebrow at you, not saying anything, but just questioning with his curious expression

you bite your lip,,,, 

this was unplanned and even though you’ve recently discussed having kids, you’re worried about how kei might feel because honestly you’re pretty anxious,

but when you break the news to him,

the corners of his mouth are upturned into a soft grin

and he quietly pulls you into a hug

you also could’ve sworn that there were tear stains that he left on your shirt after

but when ur in his arms while he’s whispering about how excited he is, you know that you’re ready to have a family with him<33

tsukki likes to express his care for you and his child through subtle affectionate gestures,,

like his favorite thing to do when he comes home from work is envelop you in a back hug,

and he likes to run his large hands gently over your bump, waiting for a kick

when he feels one, you bet your ass that this man is grinning bc he just can’t hide his excitement !!!

i feel like he’d be a super cautious dad-to-be,

like if you’re given prenatal vitamins or told not to eat certain foods,

he has scrutinized the labels and the internet to make sure everything in the house is safe for you and his bb<33

during your whole pregnancy, he’s more logical and clear-minded, but there’s a stark contrast on the day you actually go into labor owo

like i’m talking sweat beads running down the side of his forehead

and his hand clutching yours for dear life as he guides you to the hospital room

during the entire labor, tsukishima can’t be separated from you...

like when you get up to go to the bathroom and make him stand outside, he’s leaned against the door with his arms crossed

he’s acting like a bodyguard?? but like for what idk

he’s quite tense until his baby makes their appearance,

but when he does get to hold the baby, his body is wracked with silent sobs and he’s overcome with a wave of emotion

he’s silent on the outside, 

but his mind can’t even begin to process the monumental amount of love he feels for u and this little bb <333 🥺🥺🥺

dad tsukki has fallen in love all over again.

☀︎—keiji akaashi

akaashi slips into the bedroom when he hears ur sniffling,,

your back faces him, but he can tell that ur hunched over something in your hands...

when he approaches you and sees that your eyes are puffy n swollen,

his voice is filled with concern,

“what’s wrong?”

it takes a moment for you to choke out your words but you manage,

“keiji, i-i’m scared,”

then he catches sight of the white stick in your hands,

and he sees two faint lines sitting on its little screen

he takes a seat next to you, pulling your body against his and pressing a kiss to the temple of your forehead,,,

“what are you scared of when you have me?”

the two of you have a long conversation that night,, 

mostly with akaashi reassuring you that he’s prepared for whatever decision you make and that he’ll always be there to support you🥺

the next morning,

you’ve calmed down and thought clearly about this, realizing that many of your anxieties stemmed from how keiji would react,

but after realizing his willingness to support you,

you can’t help but smile and press a hand to your belly as you look in the mirror in the bathroom

and when akaashi sees this, his heart is so full and excited!!!🥺

throughout your pregnancy, akaashi is overwhelmingly supportive and emotionally reliable,,

he listens to your concerns both physically and mentally, helping you talk through your worries and find solutions,,

he’s also suuuper intimate with you,

bathing and pampering you,

staying up late to talk with you,

waking you up with kisses nd breakfast in bed,,

he’s just the most perfect partner to you. 

and every day you spend beside him reaffirms your excitement to have his child

when the day arrives, you’re beyond anxious,

he can just tell from little gestures you make that you’re more nervous than ever before,

so akaashi has one hand on you at all times during labor, so you can physically feel his support

the process couldn’t have gone more smoothly than it did, and akaashi’s so grateful 

and when he gets to hold the baby against his own chest, 

he’s smiling through the tears that are welling up bc

his eyes now lay upon the most beautiful replica of you.

fugg i luv keiji🥰🥰🥰

☀︎—tadashi yamaguchi

the day you tell yamaguchi you’re pregnant?

he’s probably crying.

no, he’s definitely crying.

he’s also definitely overexcited

so when he went in for a hug, he immediately lets go bc he’s worried that he hugged you too tightly🥺

he’s just a ball of emotions and kind of all over the place!!

but he gets it together asap and is already on dad duty the very next day

making doctor’s appointments, listing purchases to be made, planning for your baby shower, n anything he can do to be prepared

he makes many a few unnecessary purchases

something like a bougie hundred dollar memory foam pregnancy pillow for u 

and a temperature controlled collapsible baby stroller for his bb

his heart was in the right place but his money was not asdgfd

but he wants to treat you like the queen that you are,

so he’s always excited to come home to see you after work

and he likes to bring home things that will make you happy

food and baby clothes and flowers uwuwu

i also think tadashi came up with the idea to start scrapbooking the memories of your soon to be little family of three <33

so he takes cute little polaroids to keep them in a scrapbook

and he also definitely keeps a lil photo of the baby’s ultrasound in his wallet that he often takes peeks at while at work

and he can’t help but smile and tear up at the thought of starting a family w u 🥰

every morning, he just feels so blessed to wake up to the sight of you n your lil bump aka his future child ?!?!!?

and when that realization registers in his brain,

he just has to pull you close to him, plant a kiss to ur belly, and cuddle you for as long as he wants <333

the day you go into labor, yamaguchi lugs like 3 hospital bags frantically out of the house (he definitely stuffed them fully to the brim)

he’s overall pretty anxious but he’s mostly anxious about the pain you’re going thru🥺

with each hour that passes at the hospital, he’s pacing the room back and forth, always coming back to ur bedside to hold ur hand and kiss it many times

when the time finally comes, yamaguchi can’t believe that he’s actually seeing his child irl

like.... he’s in awe of the beauty of his child, just utterly speechless...

it registers a little bit later and he’s crying again

but back home, yamaguchi is always so eager to take care of his baby and he’ll do anything n everything to take care of his child and help u rest and recover

dad yamaguchi melts my heart

☀︎—kozume kenma

so u decide to plan a little surprise for kenma one morning

and he’s all groggy from just waking up, 

but he peeks his eyes open when he hears you shuffling back and forth right at his bedside,,

he sees that you’re only wearing a white oversized tee and he’s about to pull u back in bed for more sleep,

but then kenma’s eyes focus on the text that’s handwritten in sharpie in the center of the shirt over your stomach

“kenma jr.”

he’s never seen this shirt before, and then he’s realizing what it means and his eyes widen in anticipation !!!

so u crawl on top of him and lay your head on his chest while he’s processing,,

“you’re—?”

“yes, kozume. i am.”

he’s smiling with his eyes closed, 

and he lifts his head to kiss your hair before wrapping his arms around you and whispering in your ear that “he doesn’t know a kenma jr. but he can’t wait to meet them”

you swat at his chest jokingly, and he smiles even wider, 

but you don’t see the love that resonates deeply in his eyes when he looks down at you🥺 

bc you end up falling asleep on him lmaooo

but ever since that day, kenma is on high alert whether it looks like it or not...

he’s especially protective of u in public, 

observing those closest to you and gently shifting you out of the way when someone gets too close...

kenma is most affectionate though when he thinks you’re not aware,,

meaning he likes to run his hand over your stomach, admire your sleeping expression, nd gently kiss your hair

all while he thinks you’re asleep but you’re not tho and it makes ur heart explode

kenma also doesn’t struggle to sleep at night, but he ends up choosing to stay awake for as long as u are 

and he stays awake even after u fall asleep bc he likes to whisper some of the sweetest words to just kenma jr uwuwuwu

on the day when kenma accompanies you to the hospital, he’s listening intently to the patterns of your breathing,

so he knows when the pain is worst and he holds onto you tighter during those times,,

after hours of labor, kenma ends up super teary eyed at the sight of his baby,

he’s silently swaying the baby in his arms nd just thinking about how much his heart is overfilling with luv...

he knows kenma jr now... and he loves kenma jr with his whole heart<333

#haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu writing #hq imagines #hq headcanons #hq scenarios #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima x y/n #tsukishima x you #tsukishima headcanons #tsukishima scenarios #tsukishima imagines #tsukishima fluff #akaashi x reader #akaashi x y/n #akaashi x you #akaashi headcanons #akaashi scenarios #akaashi imagines #akaashi fluff #yamaguchi x reader #yamaguchi x y/n #yamaguchi x you #yamaguchi headcanons #yamaguchi scenarios #yamaguchi imagines #yamaguchi fluff #kenma x reader

[harringrovetrashrat]

The discord (specifically @warheadache) got me thinking about a Grease AU and...well...

Steve gets broken up with at the end of the year.  Nancy is just not in love with him the way she thought.  So he goes with his parents for a full summer away, a full summer in California.  And he meets the most beautiful boy he’s ever seen.  And it’s summer.  It’s California.  And this boy is licking his lips at him, is flirting and he just--

He has the best summer he’s ever had.

And when they part ways Billy kisses Steve so fiercely it’s like he’s fallen in love, too.  But they have to part ways, even if it break their hearts to do it.

When Billy gets news that he’s moving to bumfuck nowhere, he’s pissed.  Because how can his Bambi come back and find him now?

The first person he meets is this greaser boy, Tommy.  Sees him smoking and asks to bum one.  Tommy immediately knows he’s never seen him before, clocks the leather jacket and tight pants, and introduces himself.  And he’s small town, but he’s fun, he pushes a nerd around and makes Billy laugh, so he’s good for now.  He does keep talking about a Stevie, probably his girlfriend, and a Carol, maybe his other girlfriend, but Billy won’t judge.  Can’t, yanno.

And Steve and Carol are busy most of the day, so they somehow don’t cross paths until after school, until the pep rally, when Carol runs over and plants one on Tommy.

“This must be Carol,” Billy says, giving her a wink.  She waggles her brows before turning and yelling,

“Stevie!  Over here!  Fresh meat!” Billy turns and… Fuck.  There’s his Bambi.

And Steve is so excited when he sees Billy, even if he’s fucking nervous because Billy understood him in a way none of his partners had before. But Billy...

The beautiful boy he thought he’d never see again, who had wanted more than a quick handy under the pier, who had broken down some of Billy’s walls in a single summer, is here?  In front of him?  And he panics.  Teases Steve, and he’s honestly kinda mean, and Steve just, doesn’t get it.  Tommy thinks it’s all in good fun, tells Steve that “Billy’s just like that” and Steve stares Billy down, hurt when he answers, “Never woulda guessed.”

Cue Steve spending more time with Carol and Heather, making Tommy jealous and a little sad, and Billy just kinda swallows his regret.  Let’s Steve keep his distance.  Keeps teasing and teasing because he’s never been good with feelings.

Steve is sitting by his pool after leaving a hang out, thinking about how different Billy is now that he’s here, and Billy arrives. Followed him because it’s almost December and he can’t take it.  He can’t be here, be near Steve, without getting to have him, even just a little bit.  So he’s standing on the opposite side and Steve ignores him because he’s tired of getting his heart broken, yanno?

But Billy sits, using a stick to make the water move and he says,

“I’m sorry.” Which doesn’t mean much but Steve shrugs in acceptance.

“Whatever.”

“No, I—“ Billy struggles with the words because this boy... “I’m sorry for... for everything.”

“Everything starting this summer or everything starting from the pep rally.”

“I could never be sorry for this summer.” And Steve looks up at that, a little shocked.

Billy isn’t looking, too vulnerable, but he keeps going.

“You— I’ve never—“ A frustrated groan.  He can’t find the words so he gets up, goes to leave, and as he walks away, he hears Steve say,

“I forgive you.” And Billy wants to stay, but he’s got a curfew and he’s still so scared.  Because there’s no way Steve could still love him the way he did.  Even if he does forgive him.

After the pool, Steve and Billy kinda call a truce.  They won’t bring up the summer, but they will act like it didn’t happen.  Like they just finally stopped butting heads.  Tommy loves it.  Because now Steve will hang out with them instead of the girls, right?  And Steve does, helps Tommy and Billy fix up Tommy’s car, even if it’s just controlling the radio while the other two work, rolling joints for their breaks.  But there’s a weird distance between Billy and Steve that Tommy just can’t seem to get rid of, and it irks him.  He keeps his feelings under wraps, but like, he doesn’t wanna lose Steve just for Billy.  No offense to Billy, he’s great in Tommy’s opinion, but Steve is his BFF.

And Billy and Steve, WHOOO BOY, these boys are staring at each other any time they can.  Billy watches as Steve laughs, chucking fries at Tommy while Tommy shoots spitballs at him from across the table.  Like, how can Steve be so beautiful while he’s got spitty paper stuck to the side of his face?  Billy doesn’t know but he’s weak for it.

And Steve is literally so grateful that Tommy spends most of his time under the car so he can’t see how Steve has to keep shifting as Billy bends over the front of the car, messing with the engine.  Like, Steve has had so many inopportune boners it’s getting ridiculous.  Cuz Billy wears his pants so tight and hates wearing sleeves, or keeps them rolled up so he can tuck his cig pack in the fold, and like, Steve is just supposed to look and not wanna jump him? Rude.

And things are decently chill, right?  And then prom.

It’s their last one and Steve decides to ask someone to go with him.  I’m wondering if maybe it’s Heather, who will agree because Robin maybe can’t go, or she needs a cover.  And like, they aren’t together, Billy has made that bed himself, but he doesn’t wanna fucking lay in it.  He doesn’t wanna watch Steve get all cuddly with a girl all night, cuz of course he’s gonna go stag.  And he thought maybe Steve would go stag too and they could ditch together and go to the park or drive in or something, and Billy could finally maybe make a move (he’d deny planning this shit out and daydreaming about it even tho he 100% did).  But no.  Steve wants the full experience and apparently he can’t get that with *illy.

And maybe Steve was trying to make Billy a little jealous.  See if he would be jealous.  And maybe Steve was thinking that since Heather and Robin are so obviously in love (somehow he’s the only one who notices (besides maybe Carol)) that he could get his dinner and photos for his folks before ditching to spend the night with Billy.  But since Billy decided that he’d rather spend the night talking with fucking Stacey Connors instead, Steve watches from across the room, sad and angry and wanting.

Heather takes him out to the back, because if she’s gonna sit with a moping Steve all night she’d prefer to have a little schnapps or some devil’s lettuce to get thru, yanno?  And Steve goes to lay down his jacket, but Heather just plops onto the dirty ground outside the back of the gym, because,

“This dress is ugly and I need weed more than I need to go back in there.” And Steve laughs, sits next to her, because Heather is actually really fun and nice and Steve wished he hung out with her more--

And the back door bursts open as Billy spills out, freezing in his tracks when he sees them sitting, passing a joint back and forth.  He gets a little embarrassed cuz he was definitely planning on breaking up a makeout sesh, not catching Steve laughing at Heather’s spot on impression of their principal.

“Hey Billy!” Because Heather cannot for the life of her read the tension between the boys.  She pats Steve’s knee, handing him the joint as she gets up.  Billy helps her on instinct and she pecks his cheek, giving it a pat.  “I’m gonna go see if they restocked the snack table.  You boys want anything?” Steve asks for some chips and Billy shakes his head.  Heather winks at Billy, all, “Take care of him while I’m gone.”

And then they’re alone.  So Billy sits next to Steve, who hands him the joint.  And things are a little tense, a little stiff, but finally Steve breaks the silence.

“Where’s Stacey?” Billy shrugs.

“Dunno.  Dancing, I think?”

“Really?” Steve snorts.  “You don’t know where your date is?” Cuz he’s bitter and not above giving some jabs because he thought maybe Billy was gonna be ready.  Would have understood.  Billy shrugs again.

“She wanted to dance with Kyle more.” And well, that wasn’t entirely true, but Kyle definitely wanted to dance with her more than Billy ever would.  So he’d slyly made sure that Stacey would have someone to cry to when he inevitably dropped her the moment he could get Steve alone.  “You and Heather having a good time?” And it comes out more petulant and annoyed than Billy meant for it to and Steve shakes his head, putting out the joint and pulling out his flask, handing it to Billy.

“She’d be having more fun with Robin, but yanno.  She’s nice.  Fun.” And Billy blinks, flask still pressed against his lips.

“Huh?”

“Robin,” Steve says, like it’s obvious.

“I mean, I guess, they are best friends--”

“They’re dating,” Steve says, realizing that Billy didn’t know.  And they lock eyes and something surges and--

“I got a bunch of different kinds of chips!” Heather showers them with small bags, making them laugh, and the three of them finish prom together before they take Heather to Robin’s.

Suddenly Steve and Billy are close again, and Tommy doesn’t know what’s happening when he’s not around, but these two keep going from hot to cold over and over and it’s infuriating.

And there’s a rival gang, led by Adam, who keep teasing Tommy, because Steve seems above it all (and Adam has a one-sided crush, is maybe pissed Tommy gets to be Steve’s bff instead of him), and Tommy finally bursts all,

“You’ve been so preoccupied with yourself you didn’t even notice these guys have been pulling shit all year!” And he and Steve get in a tiny fight, but it’s quickly resolved and Steve wants to tell Tommy what’s going on but he can’t, so he just admits he was distracted.  Hadn’t been giving as much as he got from Tommy.

And when it comes to the race, over turf is what it comes down to, because both of them want the Quarry as theirs, Tommy is ready to go.  But Steve is worried for him, so he does the thing of knocking Tommy out on accident, trying to just get him to let it go, but he won’t, keeps trying to get in the car even with a possible concussion--

So Billy does it.  Fucking wins.  No doubt.  And Steve can’t help himself.  Cuz it was hot and Billy is smiling and Tommy is happy and Steve has everyone he cares about close and there and--

And he kisses Billy.  Too wrapped up.

And everything stops.

The other gang had left, thank god, but Tommy is quiet.  Billy is stunned.  Carol thinks she shoulda seen this coming.  So Steve books it.  Fucking hides.  Avoids Tommy and Billy and everyone, sitting with Nancy and Jonathan to their surprise.

Billy is, well, he’s happy, but scared.  And Tommy suddenly realizes why Steve was so weird around Billy.  Realizes that Billy probably likes him back, too.  And he feels like shit because neither of them felt comfortable enough to tell him.  But Carol pumps him up and they make a plan.

And it’s the end of the year festival.  Everyone is there.  Tommy tells Billy to meet him by the ferris wheel and Robin tells Steve to meet her by the ferris wheel.  That she and Heather understood and wanted to talk to him.  And Tommy forces Steve and Billy into a ferris wheel cart with him, Robin along as help since Tommy doesn’t understand everything.  Tells a shaking Steve that they’re best friends and nothing would change that.  Tells Billy that he better take care of Steve, but that he’s got their backs because they always have his.

They all get off the ferris wheel, Heather and Carol waiting for them, and they are all together again, the D-Dogs and Pink Ladies.  They ditch the festival, choosing instead to go to the Quarry and celebrate there together.  And everyone in their pairs, Tommy and Carol cuddling on the hood of the car, Robin and Heather dancing to the radio as they watch and Billy and Steve?

They stand together at the ledge, holding hands, kissing, finally, to the sounds of their friends, happy behind them.  Ready for another beautiful summer.  One that won’t end.

#stranger things #steve harrington #Billy Hargrove #harringrove #bucklway #commy #robin buckley #heather halloway #carol perkins #tommy hagan #grease au #ramblings from the discord that go too long so now they're a post lol

[clvmtines]

welcome aboard, clementine martinez, student #2. we are excited to set sail with you !  has anyone told you that you look like alexa demie? according to our records, you hail from florida, usa, prefer she / her pronouns, are a cis woman, and are here to study creative writing. we also see you received a spot on the ss university because of your online lottery win — we won’t tell anyone. during your first few weeks here, other students said you were + charming, + free-spirited, but also - restive. it sounds like you spend most of your time at the billiards room. upon checking your luggage, we noticed you packed a casino chip carried around for luck from home. hopefully your roommates don’t steal it!

hi friends! i’m very excited to be here. i’m jay (est, she/her) n i used to play astrid nyland a few months ago if anyone remembers bt i had to leave for personal reasons. i’m so glad to be back now that i hve life sorted and some free time for summer break <3 read on for some details abt this new muse of mine, clementine. 

01. biography !

so ! clementine was born in florida. & yes, her real name is clementine. her mom thot it was the cutest name idea ever. clementine mostly goes by clem. she comes from the town [redacted] in florida bcoz i am too lazy to look up a specific town <3 but alas ! it was swampy and humid and she lived in a trailer park. 

her parents got knocked up at nineteen. clem was born nine months after a particularly wild 1999 fourth of july. her birthday is march 26th and she’s an aries. 

(TW: addiction, child injury) clem’s dad was a gambling addict and petty criminal—he wld steal credit cards n whatnot. he wld gamble away diaper money n it would cause constant fighting until her dad finally left. her mom took this very hard n began drinking a bit too often, leaving clem to to make cereal for dinner n fend for herself. once clem tried to make hot dogs on the stove and spilled boiling water on herself. got a p bad burn on her arm/shoulder and still has a big scar.

the soundtrack of her childhood was cicadas buzzing and stray dogs barking. the sizzle and pop of natty light cans. turning up her ipod to max volume to drown out the sounds of her mother fighting with her new boyfriend.

throughout her upbringing, clem’s dad was always in and out of the picture. he’d blow into town when he hit it big. he’d take her on these little “adventures” like staying in a motel 6 n renting movies at block buster n ordering good pizza nt the dominos shit she ate with her mom lol. ofc he was charging it all to someone’s stolen credit card. he’d always promise to, like, take clem away. n clem was a daddy’s girl so she believed him. the last time it happened was her h.s. graduation. her mom didn’t show ( "overslept” after a bender ) but her dad did and surprised her n said everything wld be different. bt then he bailed on their plans for the next day n when she called his cell, the number was disconnected. tht was the defining “i’m done” moment. clem promised to never be disappointed by her father again.

(TW: racism) her mother has mexican ancestry and clem’s always been called her twin. but clem was raised in a predominately white area and honestly ?? it was really hard without her even realizing it. she’s still unpacking a lot of things today abt her youth that jst weren’t okay bt she thought were normal. like microaggressions, stereotypes, being fetishized by boys in high school. gross shit.

as a kid, clem was rumored to be really poor bc she wore tattered clothes n got free lunch at school. once she invited a friend to her house & the next day they told everyone it’s in a trailer park. that reputation—the “trailer park girl”—was really hard to shake. and clem got almost desperate to shake it. she was endlessly trying to set her old self on fire and emerge from the ashes like a phoenix.

eventually clem became more “popular”. in school she was, like, a straight b student. very average although super creative and quick-thinking. she always had street smarts. problem solving skills. independence. more of, like, practical intelligence as opposed to book smarts because academia bores her tbh. she was like why am i reading these overrated boring books by dead white men or learning abt polynomials when i know nothing abt how to pay a mortage or do taxes. like...she saw the american education system as bullshit and put in modest effort because she didn’t believe it deserved her sweat and tears. 

however, she entered the online lottery for the seas program on a whim and got in. so she’s studying creative writing now.

02. personality !

first thing you shld know abt clem is that she’s a compulsive liar essentially—she tells various stories to make her life seem better than what it was. to one person, she’s an heiress to a real estate company and grew up wealthy. to the next she was raised by nomadic hippies. some of her lies are small fibs while others are grandiose tales. she rarely talks about her actual upbringing. she hates talking abt her family or the v real trauma of growing up in a household where both parents struggled w/ addiction; the uncertainty, the broken promises, the fact that she had to grow up so soon and deal w/ so much. it wasn’t fair, and if she thinks about it too much, she feels this anger. anger at the universe. anger at her circumstances. she doesn’t know where to put this anger. she doesn’t know how to shrink it. so she avoids it.

despite her rough upbringing, though, clem is actually really sweet and kind. she’s adventurous, fun-loving, free-spirited, and bold. 

bt ! she can also be closed-off, competitive and restive. 

she’s seemingly tight with everyone? like she’s jst that girl who can get along with anyone tbh. 

in her spare time you can catch her tanning by the pool, hanging at the bar, playing pool ( which she learned from her dad ), and socializing. she’ll never say no to hanging out with people. 

she learned a lot from her little “adventures” with her dad, who was very good at conning others and often involved her in his dumb little scams. clem is suuuper good at pulling the ‘im baby 🥺’ card to get what she wants.

she can be a little selfish, because she grew up looking out for herself. 

stubborn and dogmatic as hell !!!

she doesn’t do too many relationships but when she does fall, i imagine she falls hard and fast. she refuses to be made a fool of, tho. when she gets vulnerable she flashes back to being a kid, waiting all day for her dad to show up only to have him bail on her. again. she hates that feeling. so if she, like, senses a shift in someone’s energy she’ll b like, “i’ll break up with u before u can do it to me” and the person wasn’t even tryna dump her lmao.

has a lot of sex. too much ?? sex?? mayb. but she’s v sex positive.

her personal style is v late 90s. hair clips, big scrunchies, neon, fur trim, crop and tube tops, hoop earrings, chokers, patterns, platform shoes, biodegradable glitter cuz it’s good fr the earth *winks*. clothes from o-mighty.......actually jst google o mighty, pull up the images and That is clem. she dresses like a bratz doll. she’s dedicated to the aesthetic.

03. headcanons !

her item brought from home is a hot pink poker chip from a casino. her dad gave it to her. he said it reminded him of her because of the color; he got it during one of his winning streaks and said it was lucky. she has a complicated relationship w/ her dad n doesn’t even speak to him anymore, bt she will never go anywhere without it.

she’s a smol bean—only 5′4

an astrology girl and she reads palms ! she absolutely makes astrology tik toks that people only watch because she’s hot. her flirting technique is to ask you to read your palm.

she doesn’t typically drink to get drunk. but she does love a good sugary cocktail. to her, a drink is like an accessory. a blue fishbowl by the pool, a jack and coke as she stands around a bar. usually she'll nurse the same beverage for a while. if you see her wasted it usually means she’s going thru it emotionally lol. the one thing she does do is drugs tho 

pretty much listens to exclusively female artists.

a bit of an activist. environmentalism, feminism and the like, she’s v outspoken. vegan for ethical reasons (TW: drugs) bt still does cocaine. she wears shirts with ‘my pussy my choice’ bedazzled on the front.

loves to rollerblade ! back home she didn’t have a car so she’d bike or rollerblade. now she still has her blades and she’ll use them when the ship docks. 

03. wanted connections !

Friends, bffs, ride or dies, friends who are like siblings to her, maybe a friend with an unrequited crush on either side ??

an ex she dumped/cheated on/otherwise self sabotaged their relationship because she was afraid of vulnerability.

an ex friend who realized she lies a lot abt herself n felt betrayed. OH ! ESP if they opened up to her on many occasions abt intimate, personal stuff. imagine the betrayal they felt when they found that everything they thought they knew abt clem is a lie.

someone who she actually opens up to. a confidant. or, maybe, like, a stranger she drunkenly spilled her soul to and now she avoids them like the plague.

a rival. clem can be competitive.

her drug dealer 

someone she knows she shouldn’t hook up with and… does it anyways. like a friend’s ex or smthing. spicy <3

i welcome anything !

#seasintro #addiction tw #alcohol tw #drugs tw

[kbstories]

impression//expression

“It’s not like Kirishima had come all this way to U.A. to immediately break the promise he made to himself upon arrival.

It’s just that Bakugou is as feral as they come, and the moment Kirishima recognizes it’s fear he felt crawling up his spine that day, he makes it his personal mission to face it head-on until it’s gone.”

(Or: Being friends with Bakugou Katsuki is anything but a linear experience. Kirishima Eijirou would have it no other way.)

Tags: Kirishima POV, Developing Friendships, Domestic Fluff, Bakusquad, An Extended Scene About The Joys And Pains of Dyeing Hair

Chapter 1. Chapter 2. Chapter 3. Chapter 4. Chapter 5. Chapter 6. No additional content warnings apply. Chapter 8. Chapter 9.

***

⚡💖⛰️🎸📼

You have added Best Bakubro 💣💥!

You have changed the name from “⚡💖⛰️🎸📼” to “⚡💖💣⛰️🎸📼”!

hehehe we’re all set (sent 12:10)

welcome baku!! 💪🏻 (sent 12:10)

- 

God 💡: 👀 (received 12:11)

Simply Mina: 👀👀 (received 12:11)

MT Tape: 👀 (received 12:11)

Best Bakubro 💣💥: shitty hair (received 12:13)

- 

you promised!!! (sent 12:13)

no take backs 👀 (sent 12:13)

- 

Best Bakubro 💣💥: fuck (received 12:13)

Best Bakubro 💣💥: okay two things (received 12:13)

Best Bakubro 💣💥: one i’m muting this so @ me or fuck off (received 12:14)

Best Bakubro 💣💥: two give me your names (received 12:14)

God 💡: wait srsly?? (received 12:15)

God 💡: c’mon bro it’s been months :( (received 12:15)

Simply Mina: yea wth blasty that’s so cold :(( (received 12:15)

MT Tape: answer the people explosion man @Best Bakubro 💣💥 (received 12:17)

Best Bakubro 💣💥: fine you’re staying random numbers then (received 12:18)

God 💡: OH (received 12:18)

God 💡: kaminari denki here!! (received 12:18)

MT Tape: this is sero 🙏🏻 (received 12:18)

Simply Mina: mina!!! (received 12:19)

Simply Mina: @Guitar Hero is kyoka 💖 (received 12:19)

* 

Best Bakubro 💣💥

who? (received 12:19)

-

jirou!! (sent 12:19)

-

? (received 12:19)

-

🔌 (sent 12:20)

-

ah (received 12:20)

* 

⚡💖💣⛰️🎸📼

Best Bakubro 💣💥: k (received 12:20)

God 💡: anyways (received 12:22)

God 💡: this is the best day of my life (received 12:22)

Best Bakubro 💣💥: shut it jolteon (received 12:22)

God 💡: dude i didn’t even @ u asdfkjsfk (received 12:22)

God 💡: wait omg is that an upgrade?? (received 12:23)

God 💡: did i get upgraded from pikachu to jolteon omg omg (received 12:23)

MT Tape: DIBS ON UMBREON (received 12:23)

MT Tape: we’re picking eeveelutions right? (received 12:23)

-

!!!! pls pls flareon pls!!! (sent 12:24)

-

Simply Mina: espeon or sylveon (received 12:24)

Simply Mina: espeon or sylveon??? (received 12:25)

Simply Mina: GUYS (received 12:25)

Best Bakubro 💣💥: this is a nightmare (received 12:25)

Best Bakubro 💣💥: and wtf espeon of course (received 12:26)

Best Bakubro 💣💥: better stats and none of that affection shit (received 12:26)

Simply Mina: the council has spoken (received 12:26)

-

what about flareon??? (sent 12:27)

plsplspls (sent 12:27)

-

Best Bakubro 💣💥: kirishima (received 12:27)

Best Bakubro 💣💥: it’s red. (received 12:28)

-

HELL YEAH ❤️ (sent 12:28)

-

Guitar Hero: hi what the HELL are you guys spamming about (received 12:30)

Guitar Hero: oh hey bakugou (received 12:30)

Best Bakubro 💣💥: plugs you’re glaceon (received 12:31)

Guitar Hero: i’m cool with that (received 12:31)

Best Bakubro 💣💥: good (received 12:31)

MT Tape: ok kiri i think i get it now (received 12:34)

MT Tape: putting every decision thru the baku filter is so much more fun (received 12:34)

- 

right??? (sent 12:34)

-

Best Bakubro 💣💥: don’t fucking start (received 12:35)

Simply Mina: too late <3 (received 12:35)

God 💡: our trap card activated the moment you stepped into this chat man (received 12:36)

MT Tape: Bakugou Katsuki has been designated Chief Executive Brain (CEB) of the squad, effective immediately. (received 12:36)

Best Bakubro 💣💥: i’m leaving (received 12:37)

-

:( (sent 12:37)

-

MT Tape: … 👀 (received 12:40)

MT Tape: he ain’t leaving huh? (received 12:44)

God 💡: kiri’s puppy eyes once again confirmed as world’s strongest force (received 12:45)

Simply Mina: it’s kiri so we’re all safe tho <3 (received 12:45)

-

<3 (sent 12:45)

-

Best Bakubro 💣💥: for the record i hate all of you (received 12:46)

*

⚡💖💣⛰️🎸📼

Simply Mina: hey hey blasty (received 14:48)

Simply Mina: which eeveelution are you? (received 14:48)

Simply Mina: @Best Bakubro 💣💥 (received 14:50)

God 💡: 👀👀 (received 14:50)

- 

👀 (sent 14:50)

-

MT Tape: 👀 (received 14:51)

Guitar Hero: ^ what they said (received 14:53)

Best Bakubro 💣💥: eevee, duh (received 14:56)

Best Bakubro 💣💥: i don’t need a type advantage to win (received 14:56)

-

😭 bro so manly (sent 14:56)

also (sent 14:57)

You have changed the name from “⚡💖💣⛰️🎸📼” to “🦊 Eevee Squad 🦊”!

-

Best Bakubro 💣💥: fucking fantastic. can we shut up now? (received 15:00)

*

Best Bakubro 💣💥

see? told u it’s fun 💪🏻 (sent 15:01)

-

i guess (received 15:02)

-

like i said u can just ignore the chat if ur not feeling it (sent 15:10)

they’re cool, they won’t mind (sent 15:10)

+ i’ll text u stuff directly if it’s important (sent 15:12)

-

kiri (received 15:12)

-

ok ok hhh just saying (sent 15:12)

- 

i know (received 15:13)

you got that shit for ectoplasm yet? (received 15:17)

-

ummm (sent 15:17)

-

fucking knew it (received 15:17)

you coming or what? (received 15:22)

-

!!! o7 (sent 15:22)

*

Bakugou is staring.

Eyes on the page, Kirishima tries to focus on the function he’s been struggling to get for fifteen minutes now. Something about tangents and right angles? No, cotangents, which is different from a non-cotangent tangent because–

Bakugou has stopped writing a while ago, the fabric-covered pen resting loosely in his hand, his head propped up on a fist.

–the cosine does… something with the sine of X. Division? Maybe? X pops up in a bunch of places, actually, and Kirishima longs for the days math still featured numbers and not whatever nonsense this cos-sin-tan stuff is–

Bakugou is staring right at him, has been for ages now and Kirishima can’t help it. He looks up, only to catch Bakugou looking away, and huffs a nervous chuckle.

“Bro, c’mon. What’s up? Is there something on my face ‘cause you’ve been–”

“It’s black.” There’s a pensive twist to Bakugou’s brow. He breezes through the part of the problem Kirishima’s stuck on like it’s nothing, scribbled down in permanent ink like the monster he is. “Your natural haircolor. It’s black, right?”

“Uh, yeah?”

Kirishima picks his head up from where he’s slumped across Bakugou’s desk, the bean bag he’s sitting on shifting under his butt. Since when does Bakugou care about his hair? It hasn’t been black for over a year, anyways, so what does that have to do with…

“Wait, why do you–”

Bakugou’s eyes wander back to him, landing on Kirishima’s hair for barely a second but it’s enough. With a mortified noise, Kirishima slaps both his hands over his forehead – or more specifically, his roots.

Because Kirishima completely forgot he’s overdue on a redye for a good week and styled his hair as he usually does: gel evenly spread into carefully towel-dried strands, quirk on until it dries, done. He hadn’t looked into a mirror before heading to class or he would’ve seen his tips straying from cherry red to berry pink.

And that jet-black line where it’s growing back out. The roots that are the bane of Kirishima’s existence and that Bakugou saw.

Kirishima groans, curling into himself until his head hits wood with a dull donk. “How bad is it? Don’t spare me, bro, I need to know.”

That rhymes, the part of his brain not burning in the hellfire of shame chimes in. Kirishima firmly tells it to shut up.

“Your hair?”, Bakugou asks from an unknown realm beyond the bit of desk Kirishima’s staring at, a beat late. Probably to treat him to a glare he can’t see.

Kirishima rubs his forehead across his math homework in a miserable nod.

“It’s not more or less shitty than usual, Shitty Hair.” Bakugou scoffs. “What’s the big deal?”

“Oh, nothing”, Kirishima shrugs, his voice a fake-cheerful mumble, “Just that I’ve been walking around like this all day. A whole ass day. Kill me, now.”

“Nah. Wasn’t the idea to ‘die like a man in chivalrous battle’?”

Kirishima shoots him a dirty look. Bakugou doesn’t even bat an eye; he flashes his teeth in a bright smile and knocks his fists against each other, whispering “manly” under his breath and okay, why does Bakugou have to be good at everything, including impersonating Kirishima?

“I hate you”, grumbles Kirishima. Bakugou breaks character to cackle, only stopping after Kirishima balls up his pitiful attempt at math to throw it at his head. Bull’s eye, right on the forehead.

“Oi! That’s your homework, moron.”

“You started it”, Kirishima points at him with his pencil. His notepad is pulled closer with a deep, long sigh. “Now I gotta do this stuff again and stress about my hair. Amazing.”

Ah, the God-help-me eyeroll. It’s been a while. “Just go fucking dye it and come back if it bothers you so much. Can’t be that hard.”

“Says the blond guy”, Kirishima huffs. “Dude, do you even know how long getting rid of this” – a gesture to his roots – “takes? Black hair is a pain to bleach. Literally.”

Bakugou considers his hair with a frown. “…How long are we talking here? Like, an hour?”

A laugh, louder than Kirishima intends. “Try three. Sometimes more, it depends.”

“Three hours?!”

“Or more.”

A little smug, Kirishima watches disbelief bloom on Bakugou’s face. When it comes to this, destroying the innocence of the uninitiated is the only joy he’s got. There’s really nothing fun about sitting through those hours every six weeks, give or take – just plain, boring routine. At least he isn’t anxious about making mistakes anymore, not like his first few times.

It’s definitely worth it, though. Kirishima loves his red hair.

“And it, what. It hurts?”

Bakugou is still processing it seems, a hand going to his own hair. (It looks so soft, that even light color Kirishima has envied since the beginning of time. Such a nice base for any type of dye, especially bright ones or pastels.)

Kirishima scrunches his nose. “The developer does, yeah. Anything over 9% makes your scalp burn like crazy so I stick to 9% and do multiple rounds. I can’t go light enough for the red I want, otherwise.”

“And then the dye?”

“Then you dye it, yeah. Roots first, then the lengths in small strands, let it sit for twenty more minutes or so, rinse it out and then you’re done.”

It’s weird to explain things that have become totally obvious to him step by step, but Bakugou looks strangely fascinated by what he’s hearing. He does likes things to be more complicated than simple in basically any regard, Kirishima muses with a private snicker. Perhaps it’s not that surprising, after all.

“I use pure red on everything but you can mix colors, too, there’s a whole science behind that. And if you decide ‘Hey, I haven’t suffered enough!’, you can do individual highlights as well. But that’s a production all in itself! Ask Kami, he does some wild things to get that lightning bolt just right.”

Bakugou slowly shakes his head. “You people are crazy. That can’t be worth it.” He squints at Kirishima, hums to himself and starts nodding, instead. Vaguely terrified of what’s brewing in that brain of his, Kirishima waits for him to finish thinking.

“Let’s do it.”

There it is, a suitably terrible idea. Also: What?

“Color or highlights?” Kirishima sputters. “Wait, you or me? Bro, I can live with my own mistakes but dyeing your hair is too much pressure. Like, I’ll do it if you really want me to but, um–”

“Color. And you, obviously. Who of us is freaking out about hair, huh? Sure as fuck ain’t me.”

I’m not freaking out about it, Kirishima wants to say. Okay, he had been freaking out a little. Maybe. Not anymore, not with the mental image of Bakugou with Riot-red hair sort of making his braincells implode.

It’s impossible to imagine. Kirishima tries to anyways, fails, shakes his head. Focus!

“But…”

He draws a blank. Actually, Bakugou helping him with his hair does sound kind of fun. Until his patience inevitably runs out and he explodes the pot of dye, or something. Which could be hilarious, too.

“…Homework?”

(Not that he particularly wants to go back to puzzling over non-tangent cotangents – Ectoplasm always seems to know when he didn’t do the thing, though, and Kirishima hates disappointing his teachers more than he does the variable X.)

Bakugou sparks off in his direction. “We got three hours. 'nuff said.” He snatches up the math book they were sharing, Kirishima’s notepad and even the pencil out of his hand, and is out the room before Kirishima has fully registered they’re doing this.

“Shitty Hair!”

Kirishima jumps to his feet.

“Coming!”

*

“This is so damn messy. How’s your bathroom not stained to hell already?”

Coming up on their third round over his bathroom sink, Kirishima feels little sleepy as he blinks up at Bakugou. That expression of intense concentration hasn’t budged all three rounds, Bakugou’s hands steady yet gentle where they’re starting to dab red dye over freshly bleached roots.

There’s a dot of crimson on his cheek already. After forcing gloves on Bakugou and explaining to him how red pigment is the hardest to wash out – on clothes, skin, hair, wherever it lands – Kirishima isn’t inclined to point it out to him just yet.

“I asked admin about it. They said everything in our rooms is practically indestructible, including the sinks.”

“Huh.”

“Yeah, right? They thought of everything, it seems.”

Bakugou continues. Kirishima dozes.

“Your hair is dry as fuck, by the way.”

Kirishima shrugs with his eyes closed, following the nudge to turn his head so Bakugou can get to the back. This is so much more comfortable than doing it by himself.

“Can’t be helped, man. The dye by itself is fine, actually, it’s the bleach that’s causes most of the damage. Oh well, with the gel it’s hard as concrete, anyways.”

“Mhmm. You’ll go bald by the time we’re outta here.”

“Hey!”

“Bald Hero: Red Riot”, Bakugou muses out loud, easily evading the kick Kirishima blindly aims at his shin. “Stop it, you’re gonna fuck up my hard work here.”

He’s smiling though, Kirishima can tell. It’s all in his voice, roughness replaced by warmth when it’s the two of them in Kirishima’s tiny bathroom.

“Stop dissing my hair, then. Besides, I know your secret.”

This Kirishima wants to see. He opens one eye and yup, Bakugou’s brows are doing the thing where they twitch and pull together. Not exactly a frown, more caught off guard than anything. Bakugou’s lips press shut, stubbornly silent as he brushes dye on every inch of Kirishima's hair.

Then: “I’m done. What am I s’posed to do with this shit?”

Kirishima glances at the pot Bakugou holds out to him. There’s still some of the thick liquid left.

“Just pour it on top. Can’t hurt and it’s better than throwing it away.”

Bakugou does exactly that. He tosses the empty pot and the thoroughly stained brush into the sink. Kirishima helps him wrap his hair in cellophane and a towel to reduce the possible mess, relocating to the closed lid of his toilet so Bakugou can take off the gloves and wash his hands.

“Okay, I’ll fucking bite. What secret?”

Lingering on the tension between them, Kirishima grins with all the confidence in the world. “That you like my hair.”

Bakugou barks a laugh. “After I went all Van Gogh on it? You better believe it’s good.”

“Nope, I mean before that”, Kirishima challenges.

“Proof?”, Bakugou shoots back without hesitation.

“Oh, I can give you proof.” Kirishima’s arms cross over the ratty shirt he always wears for this, its fabric dotted and streaked in interlacing shades of red. “One, it’s the first thing you noticed about me, hence ‘Shitty Hair’. Two, you were distracted by my roots growing in so you pay attention to how it looks–”

“I don’t–”

“–and three, you just spent hours dyeing it for me.”

Bakugou’s mouth snaps shut. He growls in his throat, grabbing an additional towel and drying his hands. Kirishima wasn’t aware those are actions that can be done aggressively but hey, he’s learning something new every day.

“Maybe”, Bakugou finally concedes. The towel is thrown in Kirishima’s face when all he does is smile. “Shut up.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

Bakugou’s cheeks are dusted pink. Still, Kirishima shows the guy some mercy: Bakugou spent all afternoon fixing both his hair and his math homework, after all.

“Hey, Baku?”

“… What?”

“Thanks, man. You’re a good friend, you know that?”

Somehow, that makes Bakugou look even more flustered. “Whatever, Shitty Hair.”

Because Bakugou is Bakugou, namely a man who doesn’t know when or how to quit, he sticks around until Kirishima can rinse out the dye. He emerges from the shower feeling fully restored, a towel wrapped around his waist and his shirt draped over his shoulder.

“And that’s how you do it.”

Bakugou throws him a look from his sprawl on Kirishima’s bed, manga in hand. His gaze flicks to his hair immediately; his lips twist upwards, obviously satisfied.

“Told ya, it ain’t hard.”

Kirishima chuckles, shakes his head. “You’re so full of shit, dude.”

Now that the hair situation is under control for a few weeks, he realizes how hungry he is. The evening has barely begun, too, which means there’s time for a movie before Bakugou’s ridiculous sleep schedule comes a-knocking, either taking him out or making him cranky. Each scenario has about a fifty-fifty chance of happening.

“Hey, you wanna–”

Out of nowhere, his door bursts open to reveal one Kaminari Denki, out of breath and clutching a very familiar book to his chest.

“Kiri! Please tell me you guys figured out the–”

His eyes fall first on the splattered shirt on Kirishima’s shoulder, the trails of watery red dripping from his hair to his naked chest – and then on Bakugou, hands stained a faint red despite the gloves, that smear of color on his cheek Kirishima forgot to tell him about still very much there.

“Is that blood? What happened? Oh my–” Kaminari gasps. “Did you kill somebody?! Oh fuck, we have to hide the bo–”

“Kami”, Kirishima tries between bouts of laughter, “No, what the hell!”

A familiar cackle behind him does absolutely nothing to help their case.

>>Chapter 8.

#boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bnha #mha #bakugou katsuki #kirishima eijirou #kiribaku #bnha fanfiction #tumblr will 100% kill the formatting #this fic is also on AO3!! (again the format......) #anyhow final stop in fluff land before we dive into more angst next time :3c #my stuff

[doctorlecterstheremin]

hannibal s1ep10 buffet froid

•hype because i LOVE georgia madchen she deserved the world

•fingernails on the floor boards when she’s dragged under the bed make me cringe soooo much ahhhh

•ohhhh the fkn clock here we go again

•honestly tho might do this grounding exercise if i’m a mess

•would’ve been a wild story if he’d actually snapped and killed someone at this point n him and hannibal covered it up

•or ig hannibal would’ve handed him in and accused him of the copycat murders but ig he wouldn’t actually bcos he didn’t want will in prison forever i don’t think even at this early point

•JACK ur being a DICK he literally mansplains that it’s not that big of a deal bcos it’s all in his head THATS THE POINT JACK

•’we don’t wanna break u here ‘ UR WAY PSY THAT JACK

•LMAOOO the do u have anyone who does this unbroken than i do it broken love that bit also hacks AUDACITY to call him rude 🙄 it’s ur fault!!!

•ok they LITERALLY put that ladder bit in this for the 2013 tumblr crowd because it makes such a horny gif and do i blame them? absolutely not

•idk why but the way they talk abt mental illness is so funny like ... it looks over them like a dark and dangerous mist ... UR ALL PSYCHOPATHS OR MURDERERS ANYWAY A BIT OF MENTAL ILLNESS ISNT GONNA HURT

•the encephalitis shocked me SO MUCH on first watch i nearly lost my mind i couldn’t believe he’d do this to will it shook me to the core , i told my friend and they were like dw on another watch thru it’s all part of the fun n i didn’t believe but they were right

•ok but like hannibal convinces sutcliffe to lie for the sake of scientific study but where the fuck would he publish those results no ones gonna want that unethical of a study

•‘it’s unfortunate for will’ sgagsgajhsga shut the fuck up hannibal

•i neeeeeddd to hear everything from hannibals pov like how does he feel at this point!! does he blame jack enoufh to not feel bad for letting will melt ? is it all so will has a defence if he’s accused of the murders he’s gonna frame him for?? hmm i feel like even at this point he does care for will even if it’s not the way he does after he gets out of bshci... i reckon he’d be planning as a trial not his downfall

•IMAGINE pulling all the skin of someone’s arm then blacking out and being in a creepy forest... gnarly

•and he still just wants to help her 🥺

•the fact he calls bev and bev still trusts him 🥺🥺

•where the fuck did the arm skin go tho did she come back for it ? did he take it thru the forest?

wow only halfway thru i have a lot to say abt this ep it’s a good’n

•the way will sits in hannibals desk chair ... sexy if u ask me

•WHY DOESN WILL SHUT HIS BLINDS WHEN HE SLEEPS U SLEEP DOWNSTAIRS N HUNT SERIAL KILLERS FOR A LIVING AND ONE IS CURRENTLY FOLLOWING U! SHE IS OBVIOUSLY LOOKIFN AT U THRU THE WINDOW

•the way georgia’s mum talks abt how hopeless mental illness feels is a mood shoutout everyone struggling w the system ❤️

• jack (essentially) : you misrepresented me will

will: have i misrepresented you jack !?

jack : no no !!

jack ur gaslighting would rival hannibal if u weren’t so fkn bad at it actually fkn disgusting the way he’s like ‘u had an opportunity to quit you didn’t take it why not ‘ BECAUSE YOU FORCED HIM NOT TO

•find it really funny will says dr sutcliffe when he walks in his office when it’s quite clear that that man cannot reply lmao

•wills a legend for the way he speaks to georgia under his bed he should be a social worker or smth he wouldn’t end up in a horse

#hannibal liveblog #hannibal season one #nbc hannibal #hannibal lecter #hannibal deserves more #hannigram #hannibal #murder husbands

[dontasktheradiodemon]

I Love You (3/14/2021)

Buddy I don’t even need to summarize this thread, I can just tag it with tropes like it’s a fic, here watch me go: #angst #hurt/comfort #anguished declarations of love #tw depression #tw suicidal ideation

Immediate sequel to this thread but reading it is optional. Basically, it’s nearly impossible to spend very long in Hell without developing a guilt complex and fantasizing about whether it’d be better to stop being; Alastor and Telly @usedhearts open up to each other about theirs.

Frankly it’s a startling display of mutual emotional vulnerability and I’m proud of them both.

Sir Pentious

whenever he came back from that, what did he do

cause it said he went right to telly so 👀

Alastor

Initially? Probably just tracked him down in whatever he was currently doing and went “can I hold you”

Sorta, holding it together by a thread barely

Sir Pentious

telly probably noticed but just 'yes' and let him Hold Him no matter how grimy he was at the time

Alastor

And he’ll be content with that for about three minutes before that one thread starts fraying and he goes “... can you hold me”

Sir Pentious

thats all it takes for him to coil around alastor and hold him Tight

Alastor

Curls up tight in him and sobs on his shoulder.

Sir Pentious

telly just holds him TIGHTER

makes little comforting/soothing sounds

he doesnt know why he's upset but he will be there for him

Alastor

They’re just both gonna be grimy and that’s Fine.

Sir Pentious

so very grimy

they can take baths later

Alastor

When he’s finally capable of attempting coherent speech again the first thing he’s gonna get out is “I never, ever, ever want to leave you.”

Sir Pentious

telly just takes his face in one hand and cradles it so gently and just 'ok, alright, you don't have to.'

give him a kiss

forehead kiss bc he's probably snotty

Alastor

He’s definitely snotty. He’s full on ugly sobbing.

Sir Pentious

oh hes probably not smiling huh

i think thats probably the first time telly sees that

Alastor

NOPE, he lost that sometime while he was hiding in Telly’s shoulder.

First time Telly’s seen him with the mask off

Sir Pentious

god thats got him WORRIED and he just HUGS HIM AGAIN NICE AND TIGHT AND COILED

telly: ive got you. ive got you, im here, it's alright...

Alastor

He’s just gonna keep clinging as hard as he can, he got out One sentence and now he’s sobbing too hard to talk again.

It’s a lot of radio static and feedback noise

Sir Pentious

telly is just going to KEEP HOLDING HIM god himself couldnt pry this snake off this deer and would get bitten and injected with venom for trying

Alastor

He’ll gradually stop sobbing and the shaking will decrease to shivering

Sir Pentious

telly's just going to hold him through it all, pet his hair, massage at the base of his ears, everything he can do to soothe him

Alastor

Mumbles his gratitude and an apology for interrupting telly’s work

Sir Pentious

telly: no no don't apologize. i love you and i want to be here for you. my work will still be there. id much rather know that you're alright and have it be interrupted than you be upset or hurting and you not come to me for fear of interrupting me.

Alastor

Mumble mumble he could have handled it himself

Sir Pentious

telly: i don't _want_ you to have to handle it yourself. i'm here for you, alastor. i want you to know that you can come to me whenever you need me and i'll be here.

Alastor

Tries to say three different things but chokes on them all and just wheezes out another thanks.

Sir Pentious

he just gets a squeeze and a kiss to the nearest him surface

Alastor

He keeps holding on until he can get a small, tired smile fixed back on his face, and then he pulls back to say “Thanks” again.

Sir Pentious

he gets another forehead kiss and then telly gonna lead him to the bathroom and they are taking a BATH they are now both covered in grim AND snot

Alastor

You know, that’s fair. Bath time. Strips down to boxers, climbs in with Telly, and Clings again. ... and sorry about Telly’s clothes, he’ll clean them before the snot fossilizes

Sir Pentious

Those were his dirty work clothes, it's fine, the Eggs will wash them. But it is BATHTIME, and they are both getting a scrubbing. Moreso Telly than Alastor tho.

Alastor

... can Alastor get a scrubbing too

Sir Pentious

Absolutely!

A softer scrubbing than Telly gets

Alastor

He’s going all jelly-eyed again. It’s ok he’s fine.

Sir Pentious

He gets a nice wash cloth and a nice gently scented soap, and a boyfriend to hum to him as he kinda reverently cleans him.

Alastor

He gets self-conscious SO fast, he’s gonna hold his breath and slide under the water. It’s fine he’s fine

Sir Pentious

Telly just smiles and giggles bc that's cute, you're cute Alastor. Probably wraps his tail tip around Alastor's ankle to gently and playfully tug him thru the water.

Alastor

!!! Grabs Telly’s wrists to pull him down into the water.

Sir Pentious

Now they're both underwater!! Gonna tussle with a sea serpent in his natural element, huh, Alastor!! Play time, silly mode ACTIVATED

Alastor

GOOD he’s ready to wrestle. He’s trying not to laugh, he doesn’t want to inhale water.

Sir Pentious

Time to PLAY and WRASSLE!!

Tumbling and splashing and a big grinning snake!!

Alastor

Alastor’s got a surefire way to win this wrestling match! He’s gonna GRAPPLE THE SNAKE COMPLETELY. ... basically he’s just hugging him. Hi.

Sir Pentious

Grapple the snake and the snake grapples back. Now you're wrapped in a tail Alastor, and getting a mermaid kiss.

Alastor

Oh no, what shall he do. This definitely wasn’t his plan. Totally wasn’t. Not at all. Nope.

Sir Pentious

Kiss kiss fall in love, and he's rising up out of the water, because he wants that mouth OPEN for TONGUE.

Alastor

When they get out of the water, Alastor breaks the kiss—sorry, not going for tongue this time

Sir Pentious

Telly blinks and just brief pouting, but holds him close all the same. Kisses cheek instead.

Alastor

“Sorry. Just... tired.” Considering he sobbed about half the liquid out of his body earlier,

Sir Pentious

Wipes the wet hair off his forehead and then kisses it. "That's fine. Come on then, lets get out and dry off. Would you like a snack before bed?"

Alastor

“I need a drink. Not a drink-drink, just a drink. Fluids.”

Sir Pentious

"Of course. I'll get you some water, once we dry off."

Alastor

A nod. He’s still in a quiet mood.

Sir Pentious

Telly gonna carry him out of the bath and set him on a rug. Get towel and start drying him

Alastor gets dried first because Telly Must Care For Him.

Alastor

He puts up a token struggle against this but okay as long as he goes next.

Sir Pentious

He will. Alastor gets handed a Towel and offered his pick of head or tail.

Alastor

Head this time.

Sir Pentious

He Offers Himself on Alastor's drying alter.

Alastor

Alastor Shall Dry This Offering. And while he does he says hesitatingly, “You don’t have to ask if you don’t want to. But you can if you want.” Because it’s been weighing heavily on him as Really Fucking Weird that he just unloaded a hurricane on Telly’s nice jacket and at no point did Telly ask what that was all about

Sir Pentious

He considers it and shrugs a little. "That depends: Do you want to tell me, or would you rather not tonight?"

Alastor

He has to think about it a moment. “I think you should know.”

Sir Pentious

"Alright. Then tell me."

Alastor

Thinks about it; but then just keeps drying.

Sir Pentious

Telly just looks up at him and blinks. "Well?"

Alastor

Stops drying again. “You’re sure?” Listen, this is hard to share,

Sir Pentious

"Yes. If it had you that upset and you say that I _should_ know, then I would like to know."

Alastor

He shouldn’t have said that. He wraps the towel around Telly, hugs him, and sighs. Okay.

Sir Pentious

He's just going to lay there on the rug with Alastor, and the towel wrapped around him. And state with his big ole eyes.

Alastor

No... Not the big ole eyes... That makes this harder. He’s gotta look away. “I... don’t want to be... here.” YEAH ALASTOR GREAT START, SUPER CLEAR, RADIO HOST OF THE YEAR

Sir Pentious

A very confused furrowed brow. "Meaning what?"

Alastor

“In Hell. In—existence.” He swallows hard. “Hell wears you down. It—rubs your soul raw. It sandpapers you off a bit at a time. And I’m—I’m tired.”

Sir Pentious

A soft, concerned look and a hand cupping his face. "Oh, love...I can understand that feeling. I'm...I'm tired too. It is very tiring. Before I met Hel, I'd been close to giving up entirely. And then before I met you, I'd been ready to check myself into that hotel, just to see if it was possible. Something to change the tedium...."

Alastor

“I spend so much of my time going on walks. I don’t have anything else to do but go on walks.” He covers Telly’s hand with his own so he can press into it and shuts his eyes. “Almost every year, I wonder whether this is going to be the year that I decide to go for a walk when the angels come.”

Sir Pentious

And his heart clenches so tightly in his chest. "Don't." The word is soft and unbidden, desperate.

"There have been many a year where I've felt the same...where I thought it would be better to just end it. But I didn't. Mostly out of spite, but that can only get you so far. I like having love to live for better. Or exist for. Neither of us are living." A dry, bitter, short chuckle.

Alastor

His heart skips a beat at the word, so pronounced he flinches at the odd th-thump. Still not used to those. “I won’t. *I never want to leave you.*” He pulls Telly close. “And you’ll stay here?”

Sir Pentious

"I will." It's a promise, a swear, and he can't help but sit up to kiss him, at least once. "Don't leave me and I'll stay here, too."

Alastor

Alastor returns the kiss; it’s not a formal pact with magic and all, but it feels like one. “Then we’ll both stay.” He presses his forehead to Telly’s, eyes still shut. “It’s... heavy, though.”

Sir Pentious

"I know. Damn it, do I _know_. Humans like us, we weren't meant to be eternal. It _fucks_ with us, especially knowing that we've already died. But you have me now. And I have you. And if we share our loads, it won't seem as heavy." He may be crying, just a bit, and luckily only from the face eyes.

Alastor

“Knowing we’ve died—and knowing we aren’t *worth* eternity. I know I’m not. I know Hell is a punishment, but—sometimes it feels so *generous.*”

But he nods, slightly, with their heads still together. “But—I have you and you have me. And good God, am I glad I do.”

Sir Pentious

"I understand. I know exactly what you mean." Sighs and wraps his arms around him.

"I'm glad to have you too. I...I love you." A small kiss.

Alastor

"I love you, too." And it hurts like hellfire to say. It's the thing keeping him chained here, and it's also such a part of the reason why Hell hurts at all.

He presses his face to Telly's shoulder; this time, at least, his crying is quiet.

Sir Pentious

His breath catches and the tears come again, more freely. He can feel the eyes on his tail beginning to leak as well, can't control it in the moment. Telly's arms wrap more tightly around Alastor, and one of his hands moves up to stroke and card through his hair. He squeezes his eyes (on his face) shut again, he shakes with quiet sobs, holding Alastor to him as if everything depended on keeping him close.

Alastor

He holds Telly just as tightly, an arm around his back and an arm around his shoulders. Guilt twists in him at being the one to make Telly cry; but Alastor’s not crying hard, this time around he can support Telly through his sobbing.

Sir Pentious

They're not hard sobs, instead soft little things, hiccups more like, and along with them comes a soft chorus of "Love you, love you, love you." The amount of emotions that are roiling around inside of him, who knows if the crying is sadness, happiness, or something else. But there is an overabundance and he is letting it out.

Alastor

And Alastor will keep supporting him until it’s all out, the same way Telly did earlier. He briefly lowers one hand to Telly’s tail and gently tugs, encouraging him to coil around Alastor if he wants. He can deal with a dozen eyes crying on him.

Sir Pentious

The tail barely needs any encouragement, it is up and coiling in an instant, squeezing Alastor's lower half. Not hard enough to hurt, but definitely very tight. Telly doesn't take too long to calm, the tears stopping and his breathing evening out. Then he's just breathing deeply against Alastor, still holding him tight, but with less desperation.

Alastor

Alastor rubs Telly’s back as the tears slowly stop coming. Once Telly’s breathing has steadied, Alastor murmurs, “How do you feel?”

Sir Pentious

"I'm not sure. I'm happy, but tired, and sad that you felt so tired, too."

Alastor

“I don’t want you to be sad on my behalf.” He sighs quietly. “But if there’s happiness in there too...”

Sir Pentious

"I can't help it, I love you, and knowing that you hurt, it hurts me too. But that's not to say 'don't tell me when you're hurting' because I _want_ to know. So that I can help if I can. Or just hold you, if that's what you need. But I'm happy because you love me, and you're here with me, and we can help each other. And that is what's most important, more than anything." A soft sigh in return, and a gentle kiss to his shoulder.

Alastor

“That’s the worst part of this whole thing, isn’t it? We’ve got to carry each other’s pain on top of our own—and then we feel guilty for paining each other.” Alastor laughs ruefully. “But I’m here for you. For whatever damage control we can do.” He returns the kiss.

Sir Pentious

"It's quite something: you want your love to not hurt, but then your hurt hurts them, and they don't want you to hurt, but their hurt hurts you, and it's just another fucking ouroboros." He laughs, a bit of a hysterical tinge to it. "But I'll endure it. For you."

Alastor

“I’ve always thought there was something beautiful in the image of devouring oneself alive.” There wasn’t anything beautiful in *this,* but maybe he could find it. “I will, too. As long as I give you more happiness than unhappiness.”

Sir Pentious

Telly pulls back just a tad, enough to see Alastor's face. He cups it and kisses him, pressing their foreheads together again. "You already have."

Alastor

“Make sure I keep it up.” He cupped Telly’s face as well, running his thumbs over his cheeks. “We’ve only just gotten started, and there’s a long eternity ahead of us.”

Sir Pentious

"I will. I hold you to that." A bit of a smirk, and he's uncoiling, and grabbing the towel again. "I'm mostly dry but still a little damp. Let's finish up and get some water, _I'm_ thirsty now too."

Alastor

Huff. “*Right.* Of course.” He retrieves the towel he’d wrapped around Telly’s shoulders and helps, taking special care with the tear streaks around his many eyes. “We can try out another one of your herbal teas, see if this’ll be the one I like. I can whip up something or other to go with it.”

Sir Pentious

Telly smiles and finishes drying, before taking Alastor's hand. He kisses it and then wraps it around his arm to start slithering towards the kitchen. "Anything in particular you want to try tonight? Or should I just try and pick something that I think you'll perhaps like?"

Alastor

“Whatever you want. It still all tastes like fruity tea to me.” He laughs self-consciously. “I’ll get there.”

Sir Pentious

"Maybe something with some citrus? For a zest? I have a few mixes like that." They are now in the kitchen and Telly's going to get the kettle on and then dig around for the teas.

Alastor

“Sure, I could use some zest.” He starts rummaging around to see what he can make that goes with something citrusy. He’s got this place pretty well outfitted by now, if he says so himself.

Sir Pentious

"Alright, I have a green tea with orange, clove, and ginger. It's very tasty, has a good bite." He hummed as he got out the clear pot that he'd used before, and two cups.

Alastor

Green tea, what goes with green tea? He’s got no idea what goes with green tea. He can slap together some tea sandwiches that go with orange, clove, and ginger, though. “How does chicken sound?” And perhaps a more important question: “When did you last eat?”

Sir Pentious

Cue him pausing as his brain starts to work, trying to remember. "Ahhh...this morning? Breakfast, yes, I think that was when." Oh look how concentrated he is on pouring the water into the pot he is now.

Alastor

Maybe something a bit more substantial than a rinkydink tea sandwich, then. “Would you say that tea’s more clove-y or ginger-y?

Sir Pentious

He lifts the dried tea to his mouth to blelele and hums. "More clove-y."

Alastor

“Then let’s make that beef instead of chicken. Compliments it better without having to toss in a dozen other spices—and we don’t want to overpower the tea, do we...” He presumes they don’t want to, anyway. He checks the fridge to see what they’ve got on hand. Watch out, he’s switching into Cooking Mode.

Sir Pentious

Telly loves when he switches into cooking mode. He's just going to move the cups and the pot to the table and then settle in to watch.

Alastor

Okay, keep it simple—he grabbed some roast beef, onions, watercress, mayo, and some odds and ends to mix into the mayo that will *hopefully* compliment the tea, passing each ingredient one by one to his shadow to find a place for on the counter. Alastor swoops by Telly to give him a quick squeezing hug on his way to start prepping sandwiches—maybe a slightly longer hug. Maybe he’ll linger here a moment.

Sir Pentious

Oh! A hug, yes, a hug is good. Get that snake purring like an engine. He's very tempted to coil but he won't, he's getting hungry just watching.

Alastor

Okay, no, no getting emotional. Twice in one day is enough. He’s got fancy mayo to prepare. He lets go and hurries to the counter. “So. What’s... What were you working on earlier?” Don’t mind if his voice is a little rough, it’s fine.

Sir Pentious

"Oh, just more repairs. Installing new parts and making some delicate calibrations that the Eggs can't handle." He's watching Alastor and not even paying attention to the tea, that's gonna seep for a good while.

Alastor

“I ought to take an evening or two to help out with repairs.” He’s talking as much to himself as to Telly. “I keep coming over and *watching,* there’s no reason I can’t pick up a wrench or screwdriver and pitch in.”

Sir Pentious

"I'd love for you to help, I can get instruct you what to do just fine, I know how capable you are." A smile, and then he's re-noticing the tea and pouring a cup. Adds a little honey for sweetness and takes a satisfied sip.

Alastor

He passes over the first sandwich. “If it goes horribly with the tea: I’m sorry, forgive me, I did my best, it’s not my fault.”

Sir Pentious

Telly laughs. "I'm sure it will be fine, Alastor." He takes the sandwich and bites, and then takes a sip of tea, and then makes a very surprised and delighted noise. "Oh, that tastes wonderful."

Alastor

“Good!” He finishes his own, takes a bite—good—and pours some tea for himself to try—well, it still tastes like tea, but like, at least a tea that pairs well with the sandwich. “The good news is I think I’m starting to differentiate the taste of green tea from other teas.”

Sir Pentious

A smile. "Good! I'm glad. Maybe you're acquiring the taste for tea, at least a bit." A wink, and then he's back to eating. He finishes it far, far too fast-- Telly really does just inhale his food when propriety isn't a factor-- and then he's just sipping his tea. His tail slides over to curl around Alastor's calf.

Alastor

Alastor's taken two bites. He pauses before the third. "... Do you want another sandwich?"

Sir Pentious

Oh, shy snake look, and then a little nod. "Yes, please." And his tail retracts to let Alastor move.

Alastor

He waves his shadow over to do it and nudges Telly's tail with his foot. He's staying put.

Sir Pentious

Oh! Good, the tail is curling back around and holding him, and he smiles just so fond and bright. And another sip of tea.

Alastor

Alastor returns the smile—it still looks tired, but it’s just a little warmer when he meets Telly’s gaze. “I’m sorry I threw you off your schedule today.” Such as it was; Alastor was getting the distinct impression that Telly’s schedule was *however much I can get done today in as many hours as I can keep working.* “I’ll help you get back on track. And next time it’s your turn to have an emotional breakdown, all right?”

Sir Pentious

He laughs softly, and reaches over to take Alastor's hand, thumb stroking gently. "Alright, but you have to mop up after." A snicker.

Alastor

Alastor squeezed Telly’s hand. “It’s a deal.”

Sir Pentious

He hums and takes another sip of his tea, not letting go of Alastor's hand. "Is my other sandwich done?"

Alastor

Alastor glances over.

His shadow is just, sorta, standing there, awkwardly, holding a sandwich, watching this tender moment. Heyyy.

Alastor gestures. Go on, put the man’s sandwich down.

Sir Pentious

And he is devouring the sandwich, very happily. A contented snake.

Alastor

Well, for all Alastor’s flaws, at least he can help keep one snake fed—and that’s something, isn’t it? He continues eating his own sandwich. It’s a little awkward with one hand, but right now nothing could make him let go of Telly.

#usedhearts #chat log

[theotherbloodfart]

Hi! Please would you continue that ask about the reader defending Pennywise? It was great!

I'm drawing heavily from book canon for this. My 2 jams I used to write this were Carnival of Rust by Poets of the Fall and Velvet Rope by Janet Jackson. Hope you like!

Reader Defends Pennywise Part 2 SFW

You hold his small body close to your heart with one arm, trying to warm him even tho your limbs feel icy from adrenaline. He feels so cold. One of his tiny hands cups your temple. This somehow changes your vision, making you able to see in the dark. The edge of the cavern advances upon you, a green monolith looming from the void. Your temporary night vision is green. It looks like the night vision you've seen on television. You suppose this is because Pennywise has fashioned this to match your perception of night vision.

He’s panting raggedly against you, frightened mewls mixed with rasping words.

“Little child. They wanted my heart. Were going to steal my heart. You saved me. Why did you save me? I am hunger. I am endings. I am the void. Ever consuming. Unchanging. And you. So tiny. So weak. Your own beating heart. You hurt. You hurt for me. Tell me why?” he is squealing. Babbling. His words shudder out over your own heavy breathing as you run as fast as your wounded leg will allow.

You feel his mind with yours. Pushing. Nudging. Telling you where to go. You exit the cavern thru another opening at the base You see a tunnel. Short enough that you must bend slightly to avoid hitting your head. You clasp him to you. You trust him. You run.

The hunched position of your laboring body forces you to hold him closer to your face, cupping your hand over the back of his soft head, supporting. Protecting.

Dust. Nitre. It brushes your face softly as you stumble along the ancient tunnel. He’s whispering now.

“Dear child. You shall be mine. My own. You shall never escape. Ooooo but I am so sorry. Dear thing. I must have you. My savior. My creature. My own.”

You feel no fear in this garish green blackness. Only him. His pain and fear. His darkness. And you know he speaks the truth. You would have it no other way. You are his. Always were. Always will be.

There is no time here. Hours. Moments. Days. You do not know.

You slow to a walk. A shamble. Your injured leg feeling tingling and numb. You feel him weakening in your mind, your emerald vision fading to blackness, as his hand falls from your temple.

“So tired.” He pants. “Must rest.”

You feel panic. As if this had all been for nothing. And comfort. Perhaps you would die with him. How fitting. Your knees buckle. You use the last of your will to rotate your body so that you do not land on his little body. You feel his hands on your cheeks. Small gloved hands trace every line.

“Do not fail child.”

You feel tears. You have already failed.

“Sshhh” you feel a finger trace your lips. “Reserve your strength. Put me on the ground (Y/N).”

You shake your head vehemently, your body shaking even as your arms comply to him. Not setting him down as much as slumping weakly to your side.

“Now go.” His thin voice is calm now.

Only sobs pour from you as your head continues to shake. “I can’t leave you. I can’t. I’m scared.” Your voice chokes and sobs on these last words. “I love you.”

His voice remains at the same calm pitch. “I am the only fear here (Y/N). Go. Go now. Before I am too tired to guide you out.”

Pain sings thru your leg and exhaustion makes you shaky as you pull yourself up to a sitting position, jerking like a marionette. You lean forward and retch bile. Then you gather your legs beneath you and stand, leaning against the tunnel wall as you can no longer stand on your own.

Stumbling blindly, dragging your now useless injured leg, you trust that tug and pull you feel in your mind. You go as his will directs. You nearly fall. Once. Twice. And then you do. Sobbing you choke on soil and rock and feel as if you’ve no more to give.

Then numbness. Your exhaustion is gone. Your numb limp leg moves on its own. And then the other. Your body sits up with a snap. Your glassy eyes can see nothing, yet you can sense where obstacles are now. And you realize what is happening.

He has taken control. As he has done with nearly every adult to have existed in Derry for hundreds of years. No emotions matter. No pain matters. Only the sweet siren call of his command. Of his control. Your legs stride confidently. You arms swing by your sides as you enter the cavern and can finally stand upright. There is no movement in this massive place. Those people have gone. You continue. Across the cavern. Up the tunnel. Thru the sewers. He doesn’t take you to Neibolt. You emerge in the barrens. And walk silently thru the trees and shrubs, the bright blinding sunlight and vicious mosquito bites not even registering to you. You approach a road. Stand in the middle. Collapse. Then your consciousness goes black.

Then you hear his voice. In your dreams. It is his lilting gravely healthy voice. The voice you have come to love so well. There is no mocking or his usual laughter. No snarling. His voice is calm and commanding.

“You shall rest now. As shall I. Your body shall heal. As shall mine. And you shall forget. You must. As all mortals do. But I shall not forget.

I shall give you a gift I have given to few others. I cannot make you like me. Not eternal no. But I can slow your death. The death of your body. And so I will do this to you. For you. For me.

No. I won’t forget you. Never forget. For 27 years, I shall dream of you. I shall crave you. I shall miss you.”

And then all is silent.

It is all true. You rest. You heal. You forget.

You live your life. Not an exciting life. But prosperous and satisfying. You never feel interest in making permanent bonds with anyone but are always honest and kind. You live alone.

You cannot leave. Not even for vacationing or travel. You feel physical pain in your heart at even the mention of leaving Derry Maine. You do not know why. Neither do you question this instinct.

But you are not unhappy. You career and personal life are fulfilling and calm. Almost stagnant. As if you are waiting for something. Some nameless thing.

You don’t really notice the difference in yourself for a long time. Or rather…… the lack of difference. The lack of change.

At first, people tell you that you look great for your age. Then phenomenal. But then…… nervous glances. Asks about what surgeon you use. Burning envy tinged with nameless fear. In typical human fashion, the human populace of Derry, rather than embracing uniqueness, shuns it. So you lock yourself away in your home.

29 Neibolt street. You’d always felt a draw to this place. And so, after you’d amassed financial comfort doing something you loved, you had bought it. Cleaned it up. Remodeled it. Became imprisoned in it.

You rarely go out during the day. But exit often at night to enjoy the night air. And so that others won’t see you.

And so this is the case one night. You are walking near the barrens when you hear a rustling sound in the foliage.

A burning pain slashes behind your eyes. You cup your palms to your temple and hiss as the memories flood into your mind. Fast. Almost too fast. Your mouth opens and saliva dribbles out. A silent scream.

Memories. Your childhood. The laughter of your mother. Scraping your knee after falling over on your first bicycle ride without training wheels. That nervousness of your first kiss. The struggle of your young adult life. Tinkling of tiny bells. The thrumming of your heart as some nameless thing kisses you in the dark. The primitive desire. The bravery which had burned in your heart as you’d defended that thing which you’d loved. The fear of losing that very same thing. And then…. A voice. Promises from consumption. From destruction. From endings. The ancient eldritch darkness.

Your eyes snap open. He is here. You know he is here. The joy which flames in your heart, which had been so numb for so long, is painful. You gasp.

The sound of those familiar bells make you twist and crane your head.

And there. In the darkness. Between leaves and rays of moonlight twin embers of vermilion light. You hear a harsh desperate whisper.

“(Y/N)”

#pennywise #pennywise the clown #pennywise the dancing clown #pennywise fanfiction #pennywise x reader #gender nuetral #itchapter2 #it movie #it 2017 #it 2019 #it chapter two #sfw #request #asks

[eljhmlnr-blog]

hello pals !! im el (22, est, she/her pronouns) and this is my newest muse elijah ..... can’t wait to Absolutely Ruin Him!!!! i’m still in the process of fleshing out this Soft Babie so pls enjoy getting to know him at the same time & pace that i do aksjdhasd. if this mess of an intro isn’t enough to scare u away pls feel free to smash the like button OR hmu on d*scord @ suffering!#1968 for a good time ;))))

( axel auriant, cismale ) did you hear how ELIJAH MOLNAR is applying to columbia university as a PSYCHOLOGY major ?! the TWENTY-ONE year old is living in the WATT HALL. i heard that they got in because they are +DYNAMIC and +EXPRESSIVE, but honestly i think HE can be -INSOUCIANT and -FICKLE. they’re a real CHAMELEON. oh well, only time will tell if the JUNIOR will make it til the end.

STATS ✷ WANTED CONNECTIONS ✷ PINTEREST

B A C K S T O R Y

elijah was born in manchester, english but definitely not bred there because he was constantly moving. his parents are successful house flippers who travel around the country renovating houses for a living which meant he was never in once place for too long? and honestly... he felt like he was living the dream?? he loved his home, his friends, his life. but when he was 13, his parents decided that it was time to put down roots for the family, so the molnars packed their bags and settled in nyc.

it was at this point that he kind of started.....acting out? it wasnt necessarily for attention or anything, but he wasn’t happy with the change and found it rlly difficult to adapt to a stagant and american life? this was difficult for him because, with a life that is constantly changing, he had never had trouble adjusting before.

(tw: drugs) elijah has never been much of the studious type?? so that paired with his newfound behavioral issues meant you were more likely to find him stoned off his ass doing graffiti throughout the city than you were to find him studying

he wasn’t doing the graffiti just cos he likes petty crime but bc he just loves art??? he leans more towards painting and murals but art of all kinds and all mediums just make him rlly happy. and even though his parents are house flippers, he kind of felt like this profession was not something they necessarily approved of? maybe it was because they had spent their due time in corporate america before becoming renovators or tbh maybe this was all in his head but he was just Popping Off and being Dumb.

but at some points his parents had just??? had enough??? the molnars are (clearly) a very close family and they refused to allow their son to fuck around and just . not “”””do anything”” with his life. so they gave him an ultimatum: get his shit together or go to boarding school. the thought of being away from his family at some random boarding school in america was enough to scare him into trying to get his life together

with a lot of handholding from tutors, he was actually able to raise his grades his junior and senior yr!!! and his sat exam??? honestly he aced that shit bc he had a one on one tutor who taught him exactly the right way to study for it kjshd. he did well enough that his school stats + him being a two generation legacy was enough for him to land himself into columbia. which....he chose to go to on random solely bc his sister would be attending.

C U R R E N T L Y

so now eli is a junior at columbia and studying psychology. a major that he .... could not care less about. he knew that studying art would not be an option for him (big sad!!) so he picked psychology on his college apps just so he could submit them. he was hoping that inspo would strike in another educational field ..... but now here he is 3 yrs later still struggling thru the major akjsdh

he hated how hard his life became once he moved to the states, so he promised himself that he would never let himself do such a bad job of adapting ever again.

what does that mean, u ask?? it means that he’s bsc trained himself to fit in any situation JKASHA. it’s not that he’s a snake or anything and he’s not doing it to hurt people, it’s all just for self preservation. but does that prevent some hurtful snakelife behavior from occurring?? definitely not.

since coming to columbia, he’s kind of taken up a Soft Babie personality/lifestyle??? and it’s not an act, he definitely expresses himself the way he wants .... but he also hides a ton. he doesn’t want people to know about his vices, would prefer if they just saw him as perfect??? esp. bc his parents have a lot of connections at columbia and, even tho his relationship with them has improved, he’s scared of them pulling some dumb “boarding school threat 2.0″ shit on him

if u get to see the real him with no mask on??? phewwwww u are LUCKY.

bc he literally hides ... some of the biggest parts of himself? he’s bisexual with a preference for men, but most of the population (minus like. hookups and close close friends) think he’s straight. he’s never given them any reason to think otherwise and he’d like to keep it that way

it’s not that his family is bigoted or anything but he’s just gotten back into a good place with them and the last thing he wants to do is “””rock the boat””””??? so quiet he stays! this mentality goes along with other parts of him as well: he tries not to seem too enthusiastic about the arts, he doesn’t really ever talk about himself (this means he is a FABULOUS listener akjsh), etc etc etc.

he is just..... so fucking Cynical lol

anyway hello hi if u made it this far then i Truly love you? im so fucking bad abt rambling :(((( uhh this is where i again encourage u to plot with me so .... hit that like/message me and let’s do that :P

ok bye y’all!!

#columbia.intro #god i ramble so much i apologize in advance for this mess #also this is prob a terrible time to post this bc honesty day but . asK ME IF I CARE #(i do care. but ima still post it :///)

[ursoself-satisfying]

All Things Must Pass

this was a request!!! hes so young here wow

Joe Mazzello x F!Reader, sad/comfort fluff

A/N: i have so little time to write this was a struggle,,, i projected a lot onto this fic, using the language i use when im in a negative headspace n such so i hope it doesnt thro anyone off,,, i went thru a lot of what i felt then wrote that cus i deal w mental health issues n tried to portray what i go thru in a semi-accurate way but not one so specific its not readable u kno??? y'all that peep my references here tho get bonus points

Warnings: none rly,,, its kinda vague n sad like dealing w not discussing whats wrong n such,,,,, nothing bad tho,, not even any language wow!!! jk one language wh00ps

The warm mug in your hand didn’t improve your mood. The steam of the drink drifted up from the contents and swirled in intricate patterns near your face. You pursed your chapped lips and blinked your drying eyes. A feeling had been swelling in you for days, but you couldn’t quite identify it yet. With soft blankets curled around you and your body folded up on the couch, you pondered it again. This wasn’t an unfamiliar experience. It had been happening for years. The bite of the sharp night air bled through a crack in your draping covers and you shivered, conserving your heat by pulling further into yourself. Though familiar, this state you were in was anything but comfortable. Even if you really were comfortable like this, you wouldn’t have wanted to admit it.

The kitchen light was the only thing shining through the apartment. It wasn’t your apartment, no. This wave had to come crashing down on you when you were far from the safety of your home. This apartment was safe It belonged to your boyfriend and he made you feel safe, but he wasn’t there right now. It was just you and the sound of minuscule little droplets of rain pattering against the window. The street lights made the storm seem like a glitter against the glass, reflecting back the business of the night.

You couldn’t remember the last time you felt like this, but you had to remember it was ok not to be ok sometimes. “We naturally go through emotional highs and lows, everyone does,” she told you, “it doesn’t mean you’re broken if you feel bad- it means you're human.” ‘Remeber that,’ you'd thought, ‘remember it’s ok. You’re ok.’

Your drink smelled sweet and a little burnt. You breathed in the warmth wafting from it before slowly and cautiously tipping the cup to your lips. A hiss escaped your lips at the still scalding temperature colliding with your raw skin and you sighed. Your love of the cold weather had betrayed you and left you weak. The entire situation was stressful and tiring, and you’d cry if you could but for some horrible reason you just couldn’t.

Your mind struggled to focus on one thing at a time that had led to your current emotions but it mostly focused on the bad. Your mind was foggy and muddled and insisted on making a mental list of all the reasons your life was the absolute worst in this very moment. ‘Perhaps,’ you reasoned, ‘if I identify what's wrong, I can fix it.’

You were far from home. New York City was scary and big and loud and dirty and new to you. This was exciting and terrifying at the same time. You wanted to see everything, and Joe wanted to show it all to you, but of course, he still had work things and you were left alone. You only had so much time there and even less time with him. There was never any way you could have fit in every important place you wanted to see into the few precious hours you could share.

That led into your second reason, which was that you just desperately missed Joe. He hadn’t wanted to leave you alone,  but duty does call and he had to answer. “I love you, ok? I’m so sorry, I- I wish I could have planned for this but-”

“You couldn’t have known! It’s ok,” You’d smiled at him and he kissed you before he left. Every morning and every night and every time he had the chance, he kissed you. God, it gave you life. His face just seemed to fit into your so perfectly, like your hands were molded against his cheeks. You closed your eyes and could almost feel him there with you, his warmth keeping you sane, but when you opened your eyes, he was gone.

Maybe the third reason was that your relationship was fairly new and you were insecure in the commitment for a number of reasons- or maybe it’s just that the holiday season was upon you and that ‘seasonal depression’ was hitting you hard. There was so much to do, so much to not miss out on, and so little time to relax and actually enjoy this time of year. Joe hadn’t managed to decorate for anything yet and had actually planned to do so with you, but it didn’t look like you’d have the chance to now. There were no lights up anywhere, no festive knick-knacks up on the shelves, nothing.

‘Or maybe,’ you thought, ‘it’s not seasonal, it’s just me.’ This was a turning point and you were scared. Joe had never seen you in such a deep, naturally dark headspace before, and you had little explanation for it. There was no one thing you could blame for the way you felt. It was just- Everything. A vague yet overwhelming anxiety rolled through you that made your guts feel like they’d turned to sawdust and were swirling around inside you like you were the floor of some horrible workshop.

The lighter side of your mind spoke up, ‘Maybe that’s not such a bad comparison, I mean, you are a workshop, always tinkering, changing, evolving. You are a human bent on self-improvement. Recovery,’ the voice reminded, ‘is not linear.’

“But any step forward is a good step,” you said out loud.

“What’s that from?”

“Holy fuckin’ sh-!” Your entire body jolted violently at the surprise of the response and your drink sloshed over the sides of your mug, spilling all over your blanket. Thankfully, it was no longer hot. “God, what a- what a waste of a good cup of-” Your curses trailed off into angry murmurs and you stood before looking over at Joe standing in the entryway looking equally as startled.

He’d just come back from a meeting with a potential director for an upcoming film to be met with his girlfriend completely spaced out on the couch. She’d been sitting there for several minutes without knowing he’d come in. When he spoke and surprised her, he jumped nearly as much as she did. He went over to help her clean up the spilled drink with a soft, sorry expression. She’d already gotten up, though, and shuffled to the kitchen without really acknowledging him. Something about the situation made Joe feel sick and guilty. “I’m so sorry. I, uh,” he paused and breathed a laugh as he picked up a pillow slipping off the couch and looked at the form that had moved into the kitchen, placing the empty cup on the counter with a soft click of ceramic against marble.

His breath hitched and he forgot whatever it was he’d intended to say to her. She was cast in odd shadows from the lights of the streetlamps inside combatting with the yellow glow of from above the stove. The scene carried none of the normally blissfull air his lover had. It was sharp and contrasting, like the set of an old expressionist film. He thought she would look fit beside the likes of Nosferatu, her in her cloak of covers and tussled hair barely emerging from the makeshift hood that supported her neck. The way she’d cocooned herself reminded him of a lost child standing alone in the cold, one no passing stranger would stop to notice.

It was silent for a moment as the actor continued absorbing her aura. The cars driving about in the rain echoed through the building. The sounds of splashing through puddles and revving engines drifted by his ears. [Y/N] stared at the sink before slowly meeting her boyfriend’s gaze. They just looked at each other. Joe felt like he wasn’t even there though like she didn’t see him there. She stared through him with the same disassociated look she had when he’d walked in. His shoes suddenly became of great interest to him and dragged his attention from her to the grain of the floor. “I’m,” he gulped and raised his eyebrows in a mixture of guilt and concern, “I’m so sorry I couldn’t be here with you today.” He looked at her again and she finally seemed to notice him standing there.

His sad puppy dog eyes bore you down. You’d fallen so hard for them. Before you’d even learned his name, you knew him by his eyes. You forced yourself to process what he’d said and were quickly overcome with guilt of your own. “Oh- Oh, no! Joe,” you pleaded and sighed as you rushed to him with a sympathetic smile, “I’m sorry, I just, like, spaced out- I’m fine, it’s all fine.” You nodded lightly at him with a stretched smile and looked up at him with hands gently placed on his chest, holding tightly to the coat he’d yet to remove.

“I know you have to work and I could never-” You bit your lip as your mental search for words was shown through the frantic lines your eyes traced, “I never want to be an obstacle.” With a softened gaze, pleading for ease in the oddly uncomfortable situation, you continued, “I’m pretty sure I’m always gonna love you, and I’ll be here,” his mouth parted as you paused, “just for you. No matter how many dates you miss, as long as you’re doing your best.” A pitiful chuckle fell from your lips.

So early in your relationship, you weren’t sure when an appropriate time to address your current emotional state would present itself. Then again, is any time a good time to discuss something like this? You felt he deserved an explanation, at the very least, to ease him a bit from the stiff form he kept since he’d returned that night. ‘Where to begin’, you wondered. Before you could let another sad syllable drip from your clenched teeth, jaw tight in distracted thought, arms wrapped around you and a bristly cheek pressed against your own.

“This is weird.” He whispered, “Why are we weird right now?” The blankets around were nuzzled out of the way so he could bury his face in the crook of your neck. His nose pressed hard against your hot skin. You were unprepared for the contact. All you could focus on was his heavy breathing beside your ear, every exhale slipping down your back and making you shiver. Cautious hands danced up the back of his neck, barely touching the airs that stood on end from the undefinable energy surging between the two of you. Molding yourself to fit perfectly in the empty cavities of space left, you were flush against him, clinging to the back of his head and letting his arms shift under yours to support you.

“I’m bad right now.” Your voice was almost a whimper, choking you on it’s way out. It wasn’t even your voice, the words were breaths you let out at all once. Joe- You weren’t sure he understood, and you didn’t expect him to immediately. He has no context yet, no reference besides what you’d carefully revealed to him. It was never your intention to hide any of your traits or symptoms or past from him, or most anyone, really, but it wasn’t exactly a hot topic of conversation.

He’d remembered briefly her using the phrase ‘when I was bad’ once or twice when referring to her mental and emotional state, but she didn’t often talk about it. Either it was sensitive or simply private, but it was fine. He didn’t push. The last thing he wanted was to make her uncomfortable or drive her away. While respecting her privacy and her past, he still swelled with concern at the thought of not knowing. It was a loving kind of fear that filled his stomach when he’d imagined moments like this; moments where something was wrong, something was off and he was in the dark. He didn’t need a reason to love and support her, but he was unsure of how to help in the best way.

“Bad emotionally,” she started in barely a whisper, though it was louder than before, “not ‘bad’ like-” There was a hot huff of air with a small laugh behind it and [Y/N] sniffled, “not ‘bad’ like- like ‘I’ve been bad, officer’- not in a sexual way-” It was punctuated with a cottony laugh.

Joe shook his head softly and gave the girl in his arms a squeeze. His smile was wide, though she couldn’t see it. Her squeak made him laugh a little and he could feel the air around them suddenly lose about five pounds. It was easier to lift his shoulders in this new situation.

After a moment of breathing in sync, cars passing by, and rain beating rhythmically against the windows, the man broke the silence. “You don’t have to say anything-”

“You know I can’t do that, Joe.” He held onto her for a moment longer then pulled only his head back slightly to kiss her turned cheek while she was still in his embrace. In the warm kitchen light, the patterns of the blanket and the shadows of the passing headlight combined like brushstrokes on the scene and turned them into the likeness of a Klimt painting. Yellow cascading down their backs and an iconic arching connection made this art.

“If you’re bad, then let's make it better.” The words were pressed into her skin by his plush lips. Before pulling away, their hands found one another’s and gripped them tightly, like he was a rope and she was dangling over the ever looming pit of her past.

For the first time, she could feel a wetness pricking at her eyes. Without effort or dismay, she could cry. There were no sobs to accompany it, just silent streaming tears. She didn’t stop them for they were a gift. The damp streaks beneath each eye bent around her growing grin as she looked up at her lover through the filter of emotional release. Everything but the earthy brown around his pupils was a watery mess in her eyes. ‘God,’ she thought, ‘This- He is a good one. He is so- He is so beautiful.’

Joe could feel the pain in his chest as his heart shook, threatening to crack at the image of his love in such a fragile form. “Let’s just-” He could have claimed the rest of the sentence got stuck in his throat but the truth is there was nothing there to get stuck, nothing to follow what he’d started saying. “Is it ok if we just,” he took a deep breath, “be together? Would that- Would that help?”

“You already help. Being here helps.” Her voice was back now, though, physically, she didn’t look in any way improved.

Joe handled his girlfriend gently and urged her to the couch with him, pulling down onto his lap so they both laid on the piece of furniture long ways. Her bundled body blanketed his and he leaned back, letting her warm him. Struggling to slip off his coat as he kicked off his shoes, Joe also snaked his arm into a pocket to retrieve his phone. He pulled it out with a small noise of pride and held it out in front of him. “A little George Harrison makes everything better, right?” There was a sleepy hum of agreement and ‘My Sweet Lord’ played softly from the speaker of his device. He nestled into [Y/N]’s and closed his eyes. He held the phone in his hands, clasped together as his arms wrapped around the woman.

The ‘hallelujahs’ seemed in time with the weather outside as the couple drifted further from the present and into their own billowing comfort. The lights still were yellow outside, as they were inside, and the cars didn’t stop speeding through the puddles. Though you doubted the return of these feelings would stop, for now, you were content. Joe was there with you and it somehow, just his presence, made some of the sadness wash away. He was like a rain on your pity parade, saving you from any continued celebration of your own inabilities. Tomorrow, there might be explanations needed, but tonight you felt blessed. He was safe. He was warm. Your mind wasn’t racing and your eyes weren’t dry. This was better than anything you’d been feeling, anything swelling inside you the past few days. This wasn’t an unfamiliar experience, and you’d hoped it would never become one.

Glancing up at the man beneath you one last time, you smiled genuinely, bliss settling in your center, and you closed your eyes. George Harrison lulled you to sleep that night, and safely asleep you fell, holding tightly to Joe through it all, just as tightly as he held you.

#bohemian rhapsody #borhap #queen #bohrhap #she has a voice!!! #new blog #joe mazzello #john deacon #film #fanfic #undrafted #reader insert #mine #requests are open #joe mazzello x reader #requested #requests #fluff #sad #comfort #bad day #i projected a lot #i was feeling down too

[felixuh]

boy next door!daehwi

okay so this is gonna be my first bulletproof bulleted scenario/headcanon so wISH ME LUCK PLS

sO instead of those super duper cliche plots i’ll try to make this as cliche-ly realistic as possible haHA sike no i can’t do that

anyways

so you live in this nice suburban town where everything was nice and chill

not much happened out of the ordinary

not many people moved in and out of here

it was kinda close knit and relaxed

but then 

all of sudden

in the smack dab of one summer while ur still in middle school/junior high

your parents decided to interrupt your wonderful nap to tell you that a new family moved in next door

and in your half asleep daze 

you accidentally forgot that your parents invited them over for dinner

(when ur parents have more of a social life than u do e.e)

so you wake up like half an hour before dinner to your mom banging on your door and telling you to get ready

“waIT WHAT NO I’M NOT READY WHAT THE HECK MOM”

*cue frantic scrambling to look nice or else your mom would ground you for a week*

in the midst of wildly attempting to fix yourself up a doorbell rings

“y/N OPEN THE DOOR”

clumsy you decided to dash down the stairs and ended up skidding down the steps and ended up with bruises on your knees

(oUCH BE CAREFUL)

(btw you got them on ur knees bc you landed on your knees rlly hard on the last step)

but you pulled your outfit down to hide the scratches

and you rushed to the door and braced yourself for sOcIaL iNtErAcTiOn !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you open the door to a kid that looks around your age !?!??!

???

you open your mouth but nothing comes out

but the boy speaks first

“hi my name is lee daehwi!! you must be y/n! nice to meet you ^_______^”

you give him a small smile and he gives one of his bright smiles back and his eyes crinkle and you feel your chest tighten bc w h a t

you’re about to introduce yourself back but then his parents appear behind him

“oh hello! you must be y/n l/n, right? your parents talked about you and we’ve heard wonderful things. i see you’ve met our son, daehwi!”

you politely greet them back and let them in

anyways so you guys end up having dinner and slightly awkward/polite convos

and the adults like talk about life so you quietly slip away and daehwi follows you to the backyard where you have a set of swings

you guys quietly swing in awkwardness bc u dunno what to say 

(me in every social situation ever)

daehwi notices the scrapes on your leg and !!!! 

“oH- that must hurt!!”

you look at him wildly confused like 

what is he talking about

is this kid ok

but you see him kneeling down on one knee in front of you

and he has a molang bandaid in his hand

“...”

you haven’t spoken a word to him at all this entire time

and he looks up at you

you’re avoiding his eyes but you ask

“do you always carry around molang bandaids?”

he stares at you for a moment and you feel your face flush red and you’re about to get up and leave but

then he lets out a huge laugh and ruffles your head 

wow he must have long freaking arms if he can reach your head while kneeling

“ah you’re cute,,” “but be more careful !!”

did he just call me cute ????

he put the bandaid on your knee and you eventually warmed up 

you started talking to him about life and your fav cartoons

and before you know it your parents poked their heads outside 

“y/n! daehwi! it’s time to go in”

and that’s how you met daehwi

now you guys lived next to each other

so naturally that meant that you both went to the same school 

(this isn’t some private academy or gender specific school scenario haha)

at school 

as much as you wished to be with daehwi you sadly weren’t in the same class as him (y u gotta be so cruel)

bc of his gr8888 personality and cute looks he was really popular even in middle school

y’all didn’t talk much in school bc of separate classes and diff friend groups

but he would walk with you home

and you guys would talk about almost everything

you considered him your best friend which was amazing since you had only met him only awhile ago

on the weekends sometimes he’d climb over the fence with popsicles and you’d both chill on the swings and hang out

just the two of you

nobody knew you both were really close tho cuz they didn’t see you guys together in school

then high school came 

you eventually matured and grew a little taller (THANK GOD) (you also got even more gorgeous if that was possible)

but

oh boy

daehwi on the other hand

he got a complete glo up

he dyed his hair from black to a sandy blond which made him eyecandy for 90% of the student body

his chubby cheeks lost their fat and he became a lil toned from athletics and sports and dancing

everyone loved him

tbh you felt a little insecure bc wow he had changed so much and here you were 

(DON’T WORRY READER I LOVE YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE AND IK UR AMAZING SO DON’T FEEL INSECURE AT ALL <333)

you hadn’t seen daehwi in awhile since he was so busy with everything in and outside of school :(((

man this boi was doing everything and working his lil ambitious butt off

but

you did well with academics and had your own passions too

but seeing daehwi made you feel a lil incompetent so you subconsciously avoided him when he wasn’t busy to walk home

and at home

things were getting kinda rough with all the expectations put upon you by your family

and you had so many activities you were getting rlly rlly stressed out

and your friends tried to help but you were getting stuck in a hole you had dug

all you knew was to study, work, sleep, eat and repeat

you didn’t remember the last time you genuinely laughed or did anything for fun

it wasn’t a good situation at all :”c

daehwi worked rlly hard too

cuz he was going thru a similar struggle

but

you worked so much harder than he did

and it was noticeable

daehwi would always notice that the light in your window would always be on even after he went to bed

and you hadn’t been going outside to your swing lately

but he felt bad bc he hadn’t talked to you in awhile

until one day he got a text from your friend asking him to talk to you

???? 

alarms started to go off in his head bc

nOOoOoooO his y/n

during the weekend you were so tired you didn’t know what to do anymore

school was being a huge pain in the ass

you couldn’t even function

what was life anymore

and that’s when you heard a knock on your door

you groan and slightly bang your head on the table in frustration bc 

who?? what?? WHY NOW??

you trudge to the door looking like a hot mess (in reality you look as beautiful as ever c; )

you open the door

and there’s daehwi in sweatpants and a sweatshirt holding a molang plushie and some bags in his arms

“hey y/n” 

“d-daehwi???”

??????????????????????

“what r u doing here??? don’t u have dance practice now??”

he shakes his head no and lets himself in

you’re standing there shocked 

daehwi’s acting as if nothing was wrong and he’d been doing this for awhile now

so as he starts unloading things from the bags onto the kitchen counter

“i brought your fav drinks, spicy ramen, and some candy! you’ve been looking a little malnourished nowadays y/n-ie, make sure to take care of yours-”

he looks over

and

as much as you try to control yourself

you start sniffling bc w o w he did this for you?? and it meant a lot?? 

and he sees you covering your eyes a little and he knows that you don’t cry very much often (nOooOoooo don’t cry love)

and he walks over and ruffles your hair and gives you a big warm hug that you didn’t know you had been missing for awhile

and you just bury your face into his comfy sweater and drown in his love bc 

<3333

and he just draws circles into your back until you calm down

so you decide to relax and take a break

but

he notices while you help put the food away

you had cuts on your hands/arms??? 

you were always clumsy and would get random injuries from doing basic tasks and not even know

and he tsked

you looked over in confusion

and WAPOW

he magically holds out a molang bandaid

and he gently holds your finger as he puts the bandaids on the cuts

and chides you for being so careless

“y/n take care of yourself!!!”

you just laugh

bc daehwi hasn’t changed a bit on the inside

he was still the cute kid from middle school who carried molang bandaids around 24/7

(srsly tho)

and you guys decide to eat some snacks and watch cartoons together

just like back when y’all first met

AWW THE CUTE MEMORIES

and you’re dozing off a lil

and daehwi looks over and you’re leaning towards the side of the couch

but he gently tilts your head onto his shoulder

and he smiles lovingly at you bc

he finally got to see you again after awhile

and 

here you were

being so soft and lovely as always

and he presses a light kiss onto your head

u stirred a little bc you were having such a great dream

and you felt something on your head???

and you woke up all sleepy and cute

and you saw daehwi flushed bright red

bc SHOOT

UR AWAKE

NO

THIS WASN’T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN

IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SMOL CUTE ROMANTIC MOMENT THAT ONLY DAEHWI KNEW ABOUT

and you’re trying to comprehend wtf just happened

“daehwi...”

“did u just kiss my head or did i imagine that”

nOW YOU GUYS HADN’T TALKED IN AWHILE

BUT YOU KNEW THE TELLTALES OF WHEN HE WAS LYING

HE LEARNED HOW TO COVER HIS TRACKS

but he couldn’t control the redness of the tips of his ears

and you saw his ears turn.. pink?

w h a t

you freeze for a moment

and process that

your best friend who was also ur neighbor had just kissed you on the head

(secretly screaming on the inside bc WE ALL KNEW THAT THIS WAS COMING)

you look up at him again and he’s fiddling with his hands in awkwardness bc wtf was he gonna do now

he got caught

and you just giggle slightly

bc aww look at the perfect daehwi being all flustered

you muster up some courage

bc

you knew

you liked him too

who wouldn’t?

and you pecked his cheek

and he looked up in surprise

huh???

“you... you like me back???”

“well if i didn’t i would’ve probably kicked you out by now you idiot”

his face turns from consternations to joy

and he smiles

like even the sun couldn’t stand a chance against this boy’s smile

and he just ruffles your hair

and you guys just cuddle on the couch

and soon fall asleep

and you knew that you had a lot to deal with now

and it would be hard

but at least you had your family and friends to help

and ofc

daehwi

your boy next door 

-

“u don’t live in a house anymore”

“what???”

“daehwi wtf r u talking about”

“i’ve saved you in my heart now”

“from now on you live in my heart and my heart only”

“oh my GOD”

“istfg I’M GONNA KILL PARK JIHOON”

a/n: hey everyone! i hope everyone’s been doing well lol sry for the lack of updates!! i’ve been in school and i haven’t had time to do much but thank you for reading this and i hope you enjoyed it! i’ll be writing for wanna one from now on too so look out for them scenarios <3333

#scenarios #wanna one scenarios #wanna one imagines #wanna one fanfics #wanna one fanfiction #wanna one fanfic #wanna one scenario #wanna one imagine #produce 101 scenarios #produce 101 imagines #produce 101 fanfic #produce 101 fanfiction #lee daehwi #lee david #lee daehwi scenarios #lee daehwi fanfiction #lee daehwi fanfic #lee daehwi imagines #lee daehwi fluff #wanna one fluff #lee david scenarios #kpop fanfic #kpop fanfiction #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #kpop fluff #daehwi baby #imagines #fluff

[dreamvrs-blog]

☾ —— have you met rowena "rhea" alvarez, the twenty eight year old female that looks a lot like emeraude toubia ? she has been in the syndicate as a get away driver for four months now and is known around as the fervor, because she is enchanting & loyal, as well as noncommittal & tactless. not just a gang banger, raven is also a real estate agent. 

numba one out of three huh??? whaddup, i’m lorna, she, 20, blah blah blah intros are so weird. anyways this is my baby rhea -- she’s been thru quite a life and has still come out smiling. like this if i can message you to plot !! [ plots page ]

her life actually didn’t start off so bad. it was just her and her mother and although she was somewhat unprepared for a baby she still did her best and was a really great mom. her family did always have ties to gang life but her mom kept her out of it, it wasn’t too difficult since she was only someone who handled the money. however, she had struggled lifelong with drugs

when she was nine, her mother overdosed. this was just the start and she didn’t even really understand what had happened to her, just that she had lost like her bff. her uncle took her in, which is where things got even more wild bc he was like head honcho.

outside of his job, he was a very kind man and he was always very good to rowena, however he didn’t really take into account that like... she wanted to be innocent and a child because her life became completely intertwined with gang life from probably 14 years old. he was kinda like m*lene’s uncle from tgd if anyone ever watched

she didn’t too often see the really bad stuff until she was older but she did hear about it, she knew how to work more guns than she should, she knew the deadliest points of the body, yada yada. it wasn’t until she was around seventeen that she actually started helping him out.

she was kinda spoiled honestly, not tht she was a millionaire but she was definitely dotted on and got almost anything she would ask for. it kinda shows... she kinda doesn’t take it best when things don’t go her way... is pretty dramatic and loving of attention

this lady my baby she met a lady, she joined the gang and was all tough and scary and rhea was like instantly in love with her. she was also a driver, nd that’s how she learned 2 drive back when she was 19! she was her bff, lowkey skinny love

blah blah blah life happens

eventually another new person comes into this gang, he’s very charming and very cute and it’s not in rhea’s nature to assume the worst about anyone at this point even still

that’s partly just bc of the way she is like........ she doesn’t handle her heavy emotions well so her mechanism is to just act like there is nothing bad around her at all it’s SO bad

anyways so this guy, she dates him, gets really close with him, tells him a bunch of stuff bc hey he’s already in the gang what’s the big deal! he was a cop!

mad stupid shit goes down. uncle/father figure gets shot, bff ends up in jail, she ends up in jail but for minimal charges since she was unknowingly the informant --- tho no one knows this since she had minimal concrete ties to the gang anyways so it makes sense she’d get lesser

anyways so afterwards she changed and was just laying low. life was honestly very boring and she hated it as much as she loved it. she was definitely sitting around with a huge grudge against like cops and shit ghfjkghk. she hasn’t been to visit her bff bc

right now i’m going to say she got back bc someone either pulled her in bc they heard abt her from the good ol’ days or she was like i hate the system pls lemme join ur fam and fuck it up

ANYWAYS now she is here and has been here for four months and she’s so like.... loving and warm that of course it took literally no time for these people to become her family. i feel like she’s definitely a mother of the group kinda thing and honestly like half the time it seems like she’s too soft for this but when it comes to her job she’s actually super intense and serious and i lov her.

personality wise &. other ----

think like.......... adorable...... her personality is comparable to the feeling of when a nice fluffy cat curls up in ur lap

she’s very... idk how to say it she’s the kinda type that draws u in??? like she’s kinda mysterious bc after what happened can u blame her for not trusting people and she’s a fun gal to be around like she’s the type to be ready to drop everything to be ready 2 go out and do something crazy nd definitely brings that out in other’s as well

she’s vry playyyyful like her humor is very much poking fun at things and she will tease u lightheartedly and be all sarcastic with a sweet lil smile on her face, it’s very charming tbh

looooves attention like truly n honestly she would wilt away without it

she doesn’t commit easily but she is very loyal which is like... it definitely doesn’t make sense but she’s very easily loyal to people you never have to worry about her telling your secrets or swaying and she would TAKE A BULLET FOR YOU but she is very cautious with who she commits to you know????

she’s not mean intentionally like ever but is very uh blunt!!!!!!!! so um if u aren’t used to her she can definitely come off as very very snippy 

she’s not dumb or anything but her head is definitely up in the cloud and it makes her seem kinda naive even tho she definitely isn’t anymore.... issa just that she is rly not good at being ok with the bad parts of this life so she likes to pretend they aren’t happening nd if u try nd talk to her about that stuff it’s like her software malfunctions

very scared of love like not even of intimacy she’s just never really experienced real love until the cop and now she’s just scared of it she knows it’s not rational like at all hgjkfhgjkfd too bad bc she’s cute wifey material 

Eye Roll queen

long winded ramblings queen

fashion queen definitely loves to style all these pals

she is rly a big huge goodball honestly like a total classclown type she loves to see the fellow members happy with smiles on their faces 

[subjectsilver]

5:05 AM on July 23rd

i absoTonight someone got stabbed over a god damn jul pod. 

but lets back up

I have been at school for a week.

I needed to get out of columbus... just like old times there was just nothing left for me there i was just killing myself because of how summer went and how i am and shit whatever. it'll be nice to temporarily go back in the winter and spring and even next summer and i can't wait until then but for now i need to not be there. I need school i need distractions i need people - i need people who are my friends but I'm not too close with - distractions are all i need right now so i don't hurt myself.  

I came back to Wake and literally the first day i was here i heard                       1-800-273-8255 - Logic 3 times by three separate people. Thats a fucking sign if i know it...ive never really heard that song until like that day and now i listen to it every single day...

Everyday i wake up and have running or lifting and i do that in the morning then i just sit and do nothing until playing pick up soccer at night which is kinda shitty bc fuck boredom and fuck routine but its a distraction none the less so its alright with me...

Im destroying my bank account because i have no meal plan so i eat out everyday which is like 10$ a meal cus life is expensive... but at least I'm eating i mean I'm still underweight sitting around 140lbs but I'm not getting any lighter. Tbh i was kind of getting comfortable being skinny because i love the way my baggy t shirts that are too big for me, fall on me when I'm underweight but i know inside i need to get my weight up to be healthy and like sane. but ill get there..i hope - eating as much as i can in hopes to gain weight anyway.

I knew i was forgetting something when i left -  well i forgot a lot but least of all i forgot my contact case so i was sleeping in my contacts for like 5 straight days and that shit killed my eyes but i finally got a case so last night was the first time i slept without them and if i sleep tonight it'll feel good as well.

I'm trying to think about what happened this week but nothing really happens during summer school it kinda sucks. I met all the freshman guys and girls and they all seem pretty cool I've been chilling outside with them  every night when were done with pick up and shit because i have nothing better to do and i like hearing conversation hearing them all talk and reading all of them. Half of them think I'm crazy because i only sleep like 4 hours a night and because my teammates tell them the stories that are my snapchat stories this summer. It is what it is ya know.

SIDENOTE andre keels is currently telling me about how he went on a date with this girl and he's low-key geeking out and its pretty funny, I'm happy for him he deserves the high that follows being low - i hope i get that eventually.

I had a really low night a couple nights ago where i just sat outside listened to jcole and smoked cigarettes by myself but i got thru it.. it just seems like when I'm doing absolutely nothing my mind takes over and i think about all the things that bother me with life or just life itself. its kinda shitty because it seems like when I'm not distracted its like a struggle to keep living like i don't understand the point of living or being alive or life in general so it confuses me why I'm here but i try not to think about it.

I thought i was a going to quit cigarettes but i literally need them not because I'm addicted but bc its something to do when I'm alone at night by myself... and i should prob get a jul pod or some shit but its so expensive and niggas are getting stabbed over it now and I'm just not about that lmao ........ I'm dying on my own terms if anything.

im not on social media really anymore. i check it every once in a while but very rarely except like writing weekly shit like i am rn or on snapchat. i guess like 5 albums came out or something and i had absolutely no idea. it's alright tho other people fill me in eventually I'm currently listening to tyler the creators new album. Its a lot better than i expected tbh.

 “5 car garage....full tank of gass but that don't mean nothing nothing nothing without u in the passenger”

took a little break to smoke a cig - I'm kinda nice at it now and hitting juuls tbh despite my efforts and much coughing in the past I'm finally getting nice. with my luck ill probably get cancer or some shit but thats alright i guess  (kanye hands)   

anyways down to business aka the most excitement of this week SOMEONE GOT STABBED OVER A FUCKING JUUL POD 

thats fucking lit and crazy and so disappointing of humanity but at the same time the greatest thing thats ever happened ever...

actually 2 people got stabbed but one kid got sliced in the finger so like that doesn't even count but the email i got said 2 people stabbed soon i mean i don't make the rules. I was chilling right i played like 2 games of pong and won both (ayeeeee) then i walked into this house and was staring out of a window i actually took a pic but this fight broke out and i turned around and everyone started leaving under the assumption cops would come... so i walked outside and i was trying to account for everyone that was there because DAD FOLDS came out and i was counting everyone and i thought i had it correct but this kid was like where is abby i think she's dead inside like passed out drunk soon despite hearing sirens i ran back inside and checked the house to find that she was not there which was good so i ran outside and started running with this kid named Sam.. so me and sammy for running through yards and bushes and shit but my shoe got caught in a bush (fuck me right) “sam go on without me live on  bruv” so sam started running away... i finally got unstuck and i saw like 3 cops chasing sam so i ran the other direction around this building and on the other side i saw 4 cop cars so immediately i dipped into these bushes where i hit my face on a brick wall and copped a gnarly scratch that will not scar which is disappointing... (incase u were wondering go had a black t shirt on and not the usual white so my shit was not stained or anything thank god) so i was laying there for a good 10 seconds and i got on snapchat and scrolled thru the stories for a brief moment when i heard “sir we saw you jump in the bushes please come out” i was like fuckkkk mee so i got out with my hands up cus a nigga not trynna end up like trayvon   and i backed up slowly and got handcuffed and then they patted me down found my wallet, luckily found my real ID and then put me in the car... i wait there for a little and scrolled thru snapchat behind my back and then they pulled me out and questioned me. I just claimed ignorance bc i actually didn't really know shit at all... my only lie was that i didn't know the only guy i was running with. Then they just let me go. They asked me why i was running if i didn't do anything and i was like “i wasn't trynna get stabbed and also cops these days shoot black people so i wasn't trying to be shot either” and at some point this cop was like do you have an accent where are u from and i was like uhhhh ohio? but they let me go and i walked back to campus and i saw all these freshman outside and i was like ooo go to bed y'all and we all went to bed.... then i laid there for like 2 hours before going back outside...talked to some people for a while who were out there and then skrrttted off to smoke and music and write..

present time  - its 5:48 AM and someone got stabbed over a juulie like 6 hours ago thats wild....................

tomorrow or today technically I'm going to play beer die (a drinking game) [google that shit] at like 3 and then go to a team cook out and chill. should be alright.

this tyler the creator album is actually kinda nice - i actually did find some nice songs on soundcloud tho today i found a really nice piano piece that kinda calms me down in the beginning then slowly gives me anxiety... I've had a lot of anxiety lately

it seems like I'm feeling so much shit now as opposed to being numb and feeling just so dead and all the feeling at once just scares the shit out of me or makes me heart want to explode but its kinda nice to feel shit sometimes... i still have moments days where i feel absolutely nothing but it is what it is...it can't all get better at one time... I've just noticed tho that like everything use to seem weird to me like literally “this is so weird” always went thru my mind but now EVERYTHING is so scary to me like even if I'm not paying attention and someone speaks to me and the sound catches me off guard it makes me jump. its weird - haha

its getting light outside i know i need to sleep because I'm trying to get 8 hours a night even tho it doesn't always happen but I'm trying. last night i laid awake for 2 hours thinking about magic tricks. card tricks that i will eventually try on people...i created my own card tricks in my head... i have zero decks of cards rn tho which is so rare for me never really happens.

anyways - another update will come next sunday and hopefully by then i get stabbed over a juul pod by then.  

6:00 AM   I FUCKING HATE BUTTERFLIES.

i love you good morning.

[sovtwords]

i just read you found me and bestie 😳 i sat here for a good three and a half hours and read the whole thing in one go AND IT DID NOT DISAPPOINT AND I LOVE YOU FOR IT !! kind of a rant ahead so i’m sorry in advance hehe

the whole story was so beautifully thought out and i absolutely fell in love w each person’s characterization. the time atsumu frowned when he saw lilies on mcs desk flew over my head but i later on noticed and gasped so loud my dog woke up LOL i just realized you never used y/n (right or did i just never notice) and i think you are powerful for that. it just gives the mc more freedom and room to be interpreted in whatever way while still maintaining a personality that fits the story. also himari’s my absolute fave and she’s best girl sorry i dont make the rules

in you should have found me my heart absolutely broke for osamu because it’s so clear how different the twins reaction would be depending on who got the girl. osamu was always a bit more selfless in general but in that fic the way it was established that even years later atsumu would still be affected by it just screams ab how different they really are. i hope osamu got a happy ending w someone he loves and loves him back, he deserves it

the whole thing was a ride, the way that there was so much push and pull and frustration made me scream omg. the situation with tomi was so stressful and nobody should have to go with that kind of abuse (bc it is abuse no matter how anyone looks at it! and i love that you recognized it as so) and blackmail. the fact that mc didnt blame atsumu for getting with tomi because she too was with someone else (fuck daishou and mika too lw i thought she was cooler than that 😡) so its nice that she didnt outright blame him, bc i sure as hell would LOL but anyway. the way that these two felt so strongly ab each other and were so patient and still loved each other thru all the shit theyve gone thru makes me so happy bc a love like that is so pure

high school tsumu was a little shit and he (respectfully) needed to get decked but the way that he learned and did better and even tried to make tomi realize that too was much needed and appreciated. the thing with this fic tho is that no one can really blame anyone for how they acted (except tomi and daishou like cmon man do better) bc its so raw and human of them. atsumu was young and in love but didnt know it and was terrified of what everyone would think of him, which is valid esp bc his whole life, people have been telling him that osamu is the better twin with a better personality and whatnot. and you cant blame mc for leaving bc getting bullied like that and having the one person you trust turn their back on you hurts

still my heart absolutely goes out to osamu. i saw somewhere that atsumu is the one who gets seen and osamu is the one who is liked, so they both have this underlying resentment (i dont think thats the right word. jealousy?) to each other. bc when you heard miya youd think of atsumu but once they got to know both twins, it’s osamu they like. i feel like osamu is more known as atsumu’s twin sometimes bc he’s just the one thats more out there, yk? but atsumu just being grateful for osamu made me so happy and osamu being happy for his twin and mc made me even happier even tho he was hurting inside. give him a happy ending im begging you my tiny heart hurts after you should have found me pls tell me he’s happy and moved on

also let’s all thank yuta for getting along w mc to begin w LOL he’s second best after himari 😌 bokuroo dynamic was a much needed addition and i love them more than anything, same vibes as hanamattsun like chaotic gay bros who’d tear down the earth for the ones they love 😪

i feel like i still have so much left to say but this is already super long and im sorry for that. you found me is now one of my fave fics (probs my fave atsumu fic i loved it that much) ever and im so grateful you took the time to write it. thanks for the journey and im looking forward to your fics (im gonna binge rn 😈) and future works! stay hydrated <3

BESTIE EYE- KASJAASUDFHYAS I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START BECAUSE I'M CRYING

Firstly thank you so much for taking the time to leave such a long and detailed message with such kind words, i literally did not stop smiling the entire time I was reading it oml i was so giddy reading it

I'm so glad you caught onto those little tidbits i left in the story, i tried to have meaning in every tiny details so it makes me happy that you caught onto them! And you're right! I didn't use Y/N in the story at all, or any of my stories! I kinda feel at times using anything like Y/N or (name) feels a bit clunky? It kinda takes me out of the story, so I try not to include it in my stories at all, and either use a nickname or nothing! ALSO I'M SO HAPPY YOU LOVED HIMARI AND YUTA!!

Your analysis of how different the twins are and their dynamic with each other in not only HQ but my fic is just CHEFS KISS MWAH it's so good and you really hit the nail on the head. Like you said they're both winners in different ways; Atsumu is the star boy who gets noticed for his talent and charisma but Osamu is the better liked twin in the end because of his personality and calm nature. I think the twins are just so interesting to write about that way, how they love differently and approach life dasjfhasd will definitely write more with the two of them in the future

I really screwed over Osamu in 'I should have found you', didn't I? LOL I need to do my boy some justice in future stories i write, whether they're related to You Found Me or not. But rest assured he had a happy ending regardless of whether he's in a relationship or not! He's taking life step by step and finding success in his job and with his friends! <3

I guess the thing I wanted to focus on in this fic is that everyone goes through some sort of struggle in some way. Even someone like cocky, hotheaded atsumu feels the weight of pressure and to act a certain way because its expected of him. He may not have dealth with it well at first (he was a kid tbf!) but what matters is how he grows from the hurt and learns how to do right the second time. I am a sucker for 'right people, wrong time' tropes after all hahaha everybody deals with shit, so it's important that they all found someone to lean on

I don't ship much but Bokuroo is my SHIT i just love really stupid bros that are in love and every day is a wild ride, like matsuhana too ajhsdfhsd

Seriously, thank you so much for even reading my fic, let alone sending such a sweet message. I'm beyond happy that you loved it, and to call it one of your fave fics just makes my head explode LMAO

I do hope you enjoy the other fics (trash) I write, my mind goes in a million directions and I can only hope ppl understand what i write HAHAHA

THANK YOU SO MUCH MY LOVE, I HOPE YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY <33333

#anon ask #answered #you found me #lovely words #thank you so much #i'm crying

[sadstonershawty]

things that i’d say to you since i have a lot of shit in my head that i can’t or i guess moreover SHOULDNT say to u:

i miss u and i love u. it’s like bc of how much i loved you i’m realizing more and more i will always, at the very least, have love for u . i just don’t know that i’d ever be able to let go of that.

i love our memories. i’ve truly never gotten to that level of intimacy w someone where it was like that. where my significant other felt like my best friend. but we had so many good times and we were goofy together and i loved it. i loved being silly w someone and being genuinely myself .

i think that’s why it’s been so hard for me to “remember who i am” (which to answer my question; she’s gone. there is no more of that zoe. it’s time to create a new one. any way you want. you can do it) because we were so happy i wanted to be her again. but that was zoe in a different situation w different knowledge/experiences than the zoe now.

idk as i’m writing this i’m having a hard time really sorting out my feelings

it’s like i have so many and i’m realizing i really haven’t thought thru any of my current feelings abt pablo? i haven’t really processed any of them till now. trying to put intense emotions into words.

i just want the best for u. i hope now that we’re not together maybe ur happier . like more able to focus on urself and ur happiness. i think it’d make me super sad if you’re not even any happier. bc i do feel like i could’ve helped u, but i know u didn’t want me to. i’m sure u wanted to do it on ur own. i understand. that’s why i can’t be mad. i could never be mad . you were just doing what you felt like was best for you. 

i could really never even be truly UPSET that you broke up w me bc of that, u kno? i guess that just doesn’t even make sense to me bc i would do the same if the script was flipped. i think maybe even i SHOULDVE done the same bc i was to that point too tbh. i was seriously struggling and it was hard for me to realize how deep in the shit i was bc of how much i loved him and how happy he made me.

i think more than anything i wish we could have a convo abt it. does that mean i’m not over it if i wanna understand what happened ? i don’t know. but i do wish we could just be chill and sit down and talk abt what happened now that it’s been some time bc i just wanna understand fr. and i want to know how he’s doing

part of me thinks at the end of the day he broke up w me so he could keep doing his unhealthy fuck shit like drinking (even a lil) first thing in the morning type shit and he knew i wouldn’t stand for it. at first i was wondering if he just didn’t wanna b w me bc of that but i know it’s not my job to (1) make excuses for him and (2) highkey “read between the lines” w shit that may not even be the case. that’s not fair to me or to him. i don’t need to be mad at him and i know my friends think it’s like weird or they just like want me to be on that “fuck him” shit (mainly stella...maybe not just her, maybe it’s that she’s the only one i even sometimes talk abt pablo w so idk she could be the only one i KNOW OF that feels that way. doesn’t really matter tho i guess i’m jus high and thinkin real hard on it lmao). but i don’t feel that way. i know i’ve said it before but i have been angry w him in my head in the past for everything but in all honesty i do think he gave as much as he could w still not being healed from his ex. he really gave me a lot of love. he fucked up sometimes but he really did try a lot i think. not all the time. but he did. i hope that’s not just me setting the bar really low or something and thinking that he did try. at the same time tho, it’s like how could i have felt so loved if he didn’t? i’ve never felt RECIPROCATION like that or to that extent w anyone in my life.

i’ve been thinking for awhile since we broke up (less now tho since i am getting over it) “was what we had real and did he actually love me; or did i put him up on a pedestal therefore making myself believe that he loved me when it was just infatuation (or something of that nature)?”. but i think being two months out and having a better perspective on it (granted i guess that could possibly change since it has only been two months out and maybe i’ll acquire more knowledge in the next 6 months that would totally change my opinion. bc then again i did think i was in love w cadeyn and i’m not sure i was actually in love w him.....that was also when i was 14 tho lmao. god damn this is the mental gymnastics that is done in my head on a day to day basis) i really felt vulnerable w him and i did feel him being vulnerable w me especially at the beginning (it faded more towards the end but that also may have been my own fault for pulling on him, idk) and i remember just holding each other and not fr doing anything but genuinely enjoying so fucking much of it. like we would always joke abt how we never really DID anything except the same things that were in our daily routine together at that point (having sex, smoking, listening to music together, cuddling, talking and joking together, going to the skatepark), yet we both talked abt how much we loved doing nothing together. i really believe in my heart that we had genuinely good times doing the same things together. and i believe that we were falling in love. i don’t think it was my fault, but i think on my end i was losing myself because of depression/mental illness in general lol and he was the one thing i felt like i could depend on for happiness but i think that dependency got too much. but i think what we had was real, i really don’t think i’m just fabricating all this shit in my head .

i’m thinking abt maybe saying to u sometime soonish (idk i don’t wanna put a time limit on it bc i don’t wanna do it unless it feels right and not forced and if i don’t ever really feel thag it’s right then i guess i’m not meant to say it to u at all) that i’d like to talk sometime, whether that be in person at some point or over the phone, abt what happened w us. id try to say the end in a better way lol, but i think i want to understand. and check in? idk as i’m thinking abt my “why” to this thought i don’t know if i should. bc that doesn’t rlly sound like it’s coming from a higher place . and the last fucking thing i need to do is make it more complicated for myself when i finally feel like i’m getting over this. god damn i hope that’s not my self destructive, desperate urge and that’s why i wanna talk to him. fuck lol. i guess i’ll just think abt it more as well as reevaluating my motives and not do anything impulsively