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zenaidamacrouras1 · 1 year

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Writing Modern Steve Roger's Health Issues: A compendium

AKA How do Steve Rogers' MCU canon illnesses hold up in a modern setting?

I am writing something that is SO NICHE and so NERDY I feel absolutely, positively deviant about it. Who knew you could have this much fun while eating a burrito and sitting in the sun on your back porch?

OKAY! This one goes out to all of you writing modern AU's with a modern Steve Rogers. (There are literally dozens of us!). Let's go.

So, I find it somewhat problematic when people write disabled or otherwise medically complicated characters and are wishy-washy about the diagnosis they have. In real life, everyone I know with ongoing medical issues is a fucking expert on their exact shit. A great tumblr reference for disabled characters is Cripple Characters, but I also use reddit threads to read about people’s day to day experiences with different issues in their own words. If nothing else, just decide what your character has and take ten minutes and read through a basic website article about it.

So let's walk through what modern Steve's medical history and diagnoses might be. If you feel like I missed any details or got things wrong, happy to have comments to that end.

We'll start with the list of “ailments,” going with the MCU canon and combining the images from the museum exhibit and screen shots of Steve’s enlistment forms:

Asthma

Scoliosis

Fallen arches

Partial deafness

Scarlet Fever, Rheumatic Fever

Heart arrhythmia

High blood pressure

Palpitation or pounding in heart

Easy fatigability

Stomach ulcers

Pernicious anemia

Nervous trouble of any sort

Sinusitis

Chronic or frequent colds

Caveat: I am not a doctor, but I am a person who enjoys reading medical journal articles about illnesses I do and don’t have. The human body is a fascinating and terrible place to live. Talk to me about your medical complications - I will always find them interesting. I love small talk about Crohn’s disease and/or extremely graphic details about the time you had surgery because one of your wrist bones was the wrong length.

Sucks To Your Assmar: Asthma! How has asthma changed?

Kids who have their asthma well managed at a young age are going to have less scarring and lung damage (this is called airway remodeling). Thus a modern kid will likely have less severe asthma than a kid born in Steve’s time. Further, allergy medicines got way better from the 1990s, so kids with allergy induced asthma would have had fewer attacks. Fewer attacks as kids = less severe asthma as they age.

I would also note that asthma is highly connected to environmental issues. If Steve grew up in a house with cigarette smoke, cockroaches, rats, or mold present, as is fairly easy to imagine, especially without dehumidifiers in a swampy Brooklyn summer, those are environmental factors that would have made his asthma much worse.

They are also all factors that kids today certainly face, depending on how you write your modern Steve’s childhood. While people today certainly can have very severe asthma, it’s also entirely possible that modern Steve’s relationship to his asthma is pretty chill and easy to manage. (My partner has relatively severe asthma with a lot of environmental triggers; modern allergy medicine was a big game changer.)

Let’s talk about scoliosis ~~

There are a lot of variations to how scoliosis impacts people. I have very minor scoliosis and it's barely a thing in my life. I’m not trying to speak for everyone, but for what it’s worth, there are professional athletes with spinal fusion. I used Kyra Condie as my justification for writing climbing coach post-spinal fusion small Steve Rogers in one fic. My younger brother and best friend in high school both had spinal fusions.

In reality the athletic and physical abilities of people with spinal fusion vary pretty much exactly as much as people without spinal fusion, so you have a lot of leeway for how you decide to write a character with scoliosis. I recommend reddit threads to read about people talking about how their bodies felt before and after spinal fusion, or why they decided not to have the surgery, if you want to get a sense of how it might affect your character’s day to day life.

Wait, so how tall is modern small Steve Rogers?

You can see in this article that gains in height post scoliosis corrective surgery/spinal fusion varies, but the mean was 27 mm (1 inch) and the maximum was 66 mm (2.5 inches).

The more severe the curve in the spine, the more height gained with surgery.

We know Steve had scoliosis, we don’t know how severe it was (do we?). But if he was 5’4” without spinal fusion, and with all of his childhood fevers, and possible poor nutrition due to the Great Depression and untreated stomach ulcers, then it’s very reasonable that a modern Steve raised with proper nutrition and his gastrointestinal issues (see below!) properly treated and a spinal fusion could be easily 1-10 inches taller.

I think it’s great if you want to write modern Small Steve as 5’4” - but I tend to write him as 5’7” or so.

I think it is entirely likely that a modern Steve Rogers could end up being 6 feet tall given modern medical intervention and a healthy digestive system and adequate nutrition. As an example of how people with more or less the same genetics having different heights due to environmental factors, I know of one family of four brothers that immigrated from Italy in the 40s. Their height was 100% correlated to their age when they moved to the US/started having access to food: the oldest brother was around 5’4” and the youngest around 6 feet. The oldest was also a chain smoker and worked full time from around age 8, so you know, he was a fucking badass 5'4" Italian guy, if that's not clear.

What about fallen arches?

Fun story, but I have fallen arches/flat feet and had a lot of foot pain as a kid, but I thought it was normal. I wear custom orthotics and/or birkenstocks and do exercises to strengthen my feet muscles and it's fine now as long as I remember to do the things I just mentioned. My dad had to have multiple surgeries on his feet, so I think it helped that they caught it earlier in me.

Should I write modern non-serum Steve as deaf?

Maybe! I think it’s lovely when people write characters with hearing issues. There are great blogs that cover ways to do that well (a good link, another one, and another one and I think this one on hearing aids is particularly good if you are trying to bring in subtle day to day routine differences a character that wears hearing aids may have. Another great option is, again, reddit, especially for questions around how sexual intimacy might vary in small ways that can be nice to bring in. (I am working on a fic with a seeing character whose ex is blind and also read a lot of couples first hand experience with sexual intimacy around that dynamic on reddit).

But how likely is it that modern Steve would be deaf?

I think that it’s reasonably likely that Steve’s hearing issues were a result of Scarlet Fever, which is a bacterial infection that can result in rheumatic fever, an inflammatory condition that develops in more severe cases of scarlet fever.

Scarlet fever caused deafness - in fact, both Helen Keller and Thomas Edison had hearing loss due to scarlet fever infections. Further, sustained fevers of over 104 degrees can also cause hearing loss, so there is a reasonable chance that some other fever caused Steve’s hearing issues.

Today, the kind of hearing loss caused by fevers and infections can usually be surgically repaired or never occur because we have better antibiotics and better medicines to treat fevers. However, I have a friend who has partial hearing loss and lots of other life long nervous system and fatigue issues due to complications from childhood chicken pox in the 80s (this vaccine came around in 1995).

I don’t know if it’s canon or fanfiction, but I often see Steve as having one bad ear. For what it’s worth, hearing loss in one ear is much less common than hearing loss in both ears.

However, potential causes of hearing loss in one ear are infections that result in a high fever and some kind of head trauma, both of which are easy to imagine would have affected a Steve born in 1918, and while possible in a modern Steve, also easier to avoid.

Heart Stuff: Heart arrhythmia, High blood pressure, Palpitation of pounding in heart, Easy fatigability

The aforementioned fevers that can cause hearing loss can also cause heart issues. I think it’s reasonably likely that Steve’s heart issues were from his fevers as a young kid, but I often write him with a congenital heart defect, because why not?

These days, most of the time, such issues are detected at or before birth and fixed when the person is a baby, but there are plenty of heart issues that can require multiple heart surgeries at various points. Regardless, a modern Steve would most likely either have had access to corrective surgery or medication to manage these heart conditions. Which is not to say that he wouldn’t suffer mental and physical trauma from this medical complication.

There are plenty of professional athletes you can find who have all of the above heart issues. And plenty of people with heart issues who have no interest in being professional athletes, so like, follow your bliss.

Digestive System Stuff: Easy fatigability, Stomach ulcers, Pernicious anemia

I have easy fatigability under heart stuff too, because lots of shit can make you tired.

My personal head canon is that Steve Rogers has celiac disease and/or lactose intolerance, it would cause all of the above. Both can also lead to poor growth - in fact falling off growth charts is one of the most common symptoms of celiac disease in children.

While people have been aware of celiac disease since there were people, gluten wasn’t identified as the clear cause till the 50s.

I typically write modern Steve with some kind of food allergy, and I think that addresses quite a few of his canon medical complications.

Because so many causes of this category of symptoms are relatively easily solved with modern medical intervention/avoiding the problem, I would point folks towards Crohn’s disease if you are looking to write a modern character with medical issue that is more likely to be an ongoing source of similar medical complications today.

(Also, kids with Crohn’s are likely to have reduced height. I have a friend who has Crohn's whose 3 siblings are well over 6 feet and he is around 5'8" (so 4-6 inches aka 11+ cm shorter due to his severe childhood illness).)

Nervous trouble of any sort

Kids with medical complications and food allergies are much more likely to have anxiety. I’m so proud of all the kids making it through the day with anxiety. Luff you anxiety kids, I see you working twice as hard to be present as the non-anxious kids. Tough as hell. Give yourself a high five. I’m so damn proud of you.

Sinusitis and Frequent colds

I mean, god bless modern decongestants and allergy meds. Celiac disease and lactose intolerance can both cause sinus issues, so here is another one of Steve's ailments that can be "cured" through that diagnosis.

Other stuff

When you look at the above, you can see a lot of scenarios where modern era Steve, like many children/adults today, had multiple surgeries and serious and scary health complications as a child, but as an adult would appear as a relatively healthy able bodied person, with the possibility of even becoming a top athlete if he was so inclined. It’s also likely that some issues like chronic fatigue etc, might linger into adulthood as relatively invisible illnesses that nonetheless affect his everyday.

In some ways his character arc given the advances of modern medicine could mimic his arc due to the serum.

Being medically complicated as a kid sucks. Even if you have surgeries to treat and/or learn how to live with things like Crohn’s and celiac and reduce flare ups, lingering mental health trauma can have an impact.

Lastly and most importantly, I have a personal headcanon that young Steve Rogers of any era spent a lot of time sick in bed and staring into a mirror learning how to raise one eyebrow and perform other eyebrow gymnastics so he could more effectively sass his nurses.

IN CONCLUSION:

I think it's actually reasonable for an author to say, "My modern Steve never had any fevers, and got his severe lactose intolerance diagnosed as a baby, and had good nutrition, had medications/clean environment that prevented his asthma."

So this Steve is 6 feet tall and healthy as long as he doesn't eat dairy and takes his daily zyrtec (cetirizine - it's an allergy med). The only medical issue he has from canon left is scoliosis, flat feet, and an astigmatism.

You can also choose to write a Steve with more complex medical issues, and there are lots of things that can be good and interesting and value about that. I think the main thing is to pick a diagnosis and write it realistically, hopefully this helps some with that!

#stucky fanfiction #smol steve #writing disability #steve roger #pre serum steve rogers #modern steve rogers #honestly whats wrong with me #I don't even know but I feel like I'm dealing with my mental illnesses well enough and I had fun writing this #meta #headcanon #stony fanfiction

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the-seas-song · 3 months

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Tumblr is being extremely weird right now and won't let me answer @transexualpirate's ask about why I hate Tony/Pepper. This post is my answer to him:

Hi! Sorry for the late reply, my life got crazy.

The short answer: Pepper emotionally abuses (and slut-shames) Tony from IM2 onward.

The long answer: Pepper's behavior is extremely subtle, and a lot of people miss it. Unfortunately, it's been so normalized (at least here in the US) that a lot of other people will deny – and even defend! it. However, I grew up with family members like her and I have a background in psych.

I have to start this off with a disclaimer: I CAN'T be objective/un-triggered when talking about Pepper Potts or Peggy Carter (we don't shoot at someone just because we have a crush on them and they kissed (got assaulted by) someone else!)

Anyway, back to Pepper. …. I thought I could write out a full analysis without getting too triggered, but I can't. So I've included links to some great articles that cover the nuances of emotional abuse:

https://nycchildtherapy.info/emotional-abuse/ (Pepper checks almost every box on this list)

(scroll down to the 4 horseman) https://www.marriage-family-counseling.com/good-marriage.html

Personally I feel like the term 'gaslighting' gets overused, but it's definitely applicable here:

How do you know that you're being gaslighted? A victim experiences increased self-doubt as the gaslighter insists that what he or she remembers, thinks, and feels is wrong. The manipulative individual will introduce lies in more sensitive arenas, aiming to disrupt and distort foundational aspects of the victim’s being, wearing them down, establishing confusion, and forcing them to rely on the gaslighter’s version of reality.

Passive-aggressiveness is just as insidious as gaslighting:

Passive aggressive people take genuine pleasure in frustrating others. They are masters at getting others to act out their angry feelings--to explode and appear crazy--while the passive aggressive person sits back and watches the emotional outburst with satisfaction, total control, and always with their own poise intact.

Here's the transcript (and my commentary in [brackets]) from IM3 (a transcript can only do so much, because a lot of this is tone of voice as well as word choice):

[later Pepper returns to Tony's home, as she gets out of the car she sees a large stuffed rabbit outside the house that Tony has bought for her as a gift, she walks inside]

Pepper Potts: I'm sorry I'm late. I was... What the...? What is that?!

[she notices Tony sat in his Iron Man suit on the couch]

Pepper Potts: You're wearing this in the house now? What is that, like Mark 15? [criticism and sarcasm]

[Tony looks at the small number marked 42 on the suit]

Tony Stark: Uh...yeah. Something like that. You know everybody needs a hobby.

Pepper Potts: Oh, and you have to wear your hobby in the living room? [passive-aggressiveness]

[Tony rises and walks toward her]

Tony Stark: Just breakin' it in. You know, it's always a little pinchy in the gooey bag at first, so.

[Tony shakes his ass and Pepper laughs]

Tony Stark: Oh hey, did you see your Christmas present?

Pepper Potts: Yes, I did. I...I don't know how I could have missed that Christmas present. Is it gonna fit through the door? [more sarcasm and passive-aggressiveness]

Tony Stark: Well actually, uh...it's a good question. I got a team of guys comin' tomorrow, they're gonna blow out that wall.

Pepper Potts: Okay.

Tony Stark: So, uh...tense? Good day?

[Tony walks up behind her and starts massaging her shoulders]

Tony Stark: Ooh shoulders, a little knotty. Naughty girl. I don't wanna harp on this, but did you like the custom rabbit?

Pepper Potts: Did I like it? Tony Stark: Nailed it, right? Pepper Potts: Wow. I appreciate the thought very much. [even more sarcasm and passive-aggressiveness; withholding the validation Tony's seeking]

[Pepper turns to face Tony, she rises from her seat and stands close to him]

Pepper Potts: So why don't you lift up that face mask and give me a kiss? [not only takes control of/manipulates the situation but makes it physical/sexual]

[Tony knocks the metal helmet on his head]

Tony Stark: Huh. Yup, dammit. No can do. You wanna just kiss it on the...

Pepper Potts: Uh-huh.

Tony Stark: The facial slit?

Pepper Potts: Well, why don't I run down to the garage and see if I can't find a crowbar to shimmy that thing open?

Tony Stark: Crowbar. Yeah.

[Pepper starts walking towards Tony's lab]

Tony Stark: Oh, except there's been a...uh...a radiation leak.

Pepper Potts: I'll take my chances.

Tony Stark: That's risky.

[Pepper walks down the stairs to Tony's lab]

Tony Stark: At least let me get you like a Hazmat suit or a Geiger counter or something like that.

[Pepper sees Tony is in fact not in his Iron Man suit, but in the lab exercising as he remotely controls the suit, which follows Pepper into the lab]

Tony Stark: Busted.

Pepper Potts: This is a new level of lame. [explicit criticism and contempt]

Tony Stark: Sorry.

[Pepper notices the food tray in the corner]

Pepper Potts: You ate without me? Already? On date night? [passive-aggressive criticism, even though she was the one late and didn't call ahead]

Tony Stark: [referring to Mark 42 suit] He was just...

Pepper Potts: You mean you?

Tony Stark: Well, yeah. I just mean we were just...just hosting you -

[Pepper scoffs] [passive-aggressive contempt]

Tony Stark: -while I finished up a little work.

Pepper Potts: Uh-huh.

Tony Stark: And yes, I had a quick bite. I didn't know if you were comin' home or if you were having drinks with Aldrich Killian.

[Mark 42 suit turns its face toward her]

Pepper Potts: What?

Tony Stark: What?

Pepper Potts: Aldrich Killian? What are you checking up on me? [defensive accusation]

Tony Stark: Happy was concerned. [THE TRUTH]

Pepper Potts: No, you're spying on me. [gaslighting]

Tony Stark: I wasn't...

Pepper Potts: I'm going to bed. [Pepper turns and starts walking off] [passive-aggressive power play]

Tony Stark: Hold on. Come on. Pep.

[as Pepper starts walking upstairs]

Tony Stark: Hey, I admit it! My fault. Sorry. [NO ITS NOT]

[Pepper stops and looks at him]

Tony Stark: I'm a piping hot mess. It's been going on for a while, I haven't said anything.

[Pepper walks back down]

Tony Stark: Nothing's been the same since New York.

Pepper Potts: Oh really? Well, I didn't notice that, at all. [sarcasm]

Tony Stark: You experience things and then they're over and you still can't explain 'em. Gods, aliens, other dimensions. I...I'm just a man in a can. The only reason I haven't cracked up is probably because you moved in. Which is great. I love you, I'm lucky. But, honey, I can't sleep. You go to bed, I come down here. I do what I know, I tinker. [he pauses for a moment and sits down] [lots of healthy I statements!]

Tony Stark: But threat is imminent, and I have to protect the one thing that I can't live without. That's you. My suits, they're uh...

Pepper Potts: Machines. [gaslighting]

Tony Stark: They're part of me.

Pepper Potts: A distraction. [GASLIGHTING]

Tony Stark: Maybe.

[Pepper walks towards Tony and they hold each other. He rests his head against her chest and she removes his headband that controls the Iron Man suits]

Pepper Potts: I'm gonna take a shower.

Tony Stark: Okay.

[Pepper turns to walk off, then stops and looks at him]

Pepper Potts: And you're gonna join me. [sexual control/manipulation instead of validation and comfort]

Tony Stark: Better.

[later that night, as Tony and Pepper are sleeping, Tony starts having nightmares about when he was in New York with The Avengers and had to get rid of the nuke in space, Pepper wakes and starts to shake Tony awake]

Pepper Potts: Tony! Tony! Tony! Tony...

[suddenly Pepper gets grabbed and shoved off Tony by Mark 42 suit, this wakes Tony who commands the suit]

Tony Stark: Power down!

[the suit shuts down and Tony hits it making its pieces fall apart, he looks over at Pepper who is in shock]

Tony Stark: I must have called it in my sleep. That's not supposed to happen. I'll recalibrate the sensors. Can we just...just let me...just let me catch my breath, okay?

[Pepper rises and starts to leave]

Tony Stark: Don't go, alright? Pepper?

Pepper Potts: I'm going to sleep downstairs. Tinker with that. [verbal attack and gaslighting]

[Pepper leaves the room]

Pepper has every right to be scared and upset here. She does not have the right to take it out on Tony – especially since he is obviously still in the middle of his ptsd episode. Even then, his immediate response is to take responsibility and explain the actions he's going to take to keep it from happening again. This is incredible! Most people aren't able to do this in a normal setting, much less during a ptsd episode.

And we know Tony's still going through it, because he then desperately begs her not to leave. And not only does she leave, she does it while blaming him and Iron Man. But Iron Man didn't create Tony's trauma. The wormhole did. The Iron Man suits are the only security blanket Tony currently has.

Lets contrast this with Steve. MCU!Steve (and Stony) are not nearly as abrasive or antagonistic as people make them out to be. In fact, the reason why Steve's “Oh God, Tony! Every time. Every time I think you're seeing things the right way...” and Tony's “And you’ve been a complete idiot!” hit so hard is because they don't normally talk this way. They don't insult or verbally attack each other (at least, not since the helicarrier)

AOU is a perfect example:

Bruce Banner: This is insane.

Steve Rogers: JARVIS was the first line of defense. He would've shut Ultron down, it makes sense.

Bruce Banner: No, Ultron could've assimilated Jarvis. This isn't strategy, this is...rage.

[Thor barges in and grabs hold of Stark by his throat, holding him up]

Clint Barton: Woah, woah, woah! It's going around.

Tony Stark: [to Thor] Come on. Use your words, buddy.

Thor: I have more than enough words to describe you, Stark.

Steve Rogers: Thor! The Legionnaire.

[Thor lets go of Stark]

Thor: Trail went cold about a hundred miles out but it's headed north, and it has the scepter. Now we have to retrieve it, again.

Natasha Romanoff: The genie's out of that bottle. Clear and present is Ultron.

Dr. Helen Cho: I don't understand. You built this program. Why is it trying to kill us?

[Stark starts laughing, Banner subtly shakes his head at him to get him to stop]

Thor: You think this is funny?

Tony Stark: No. It's probably not, right? Is this very terrible? Is it so... is it so... it is. It's so terrible.

Thor: This could've been avoided if you hadn't played with something you don't understand.

Tony Stark: No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It is funny. It's a hoot that you don't get why we need this.

Bruce Banner: Tony, maybe this might not be the time to--

Tony Stark: Really?! That's it? You just roll over, show your belly, every time somebody snarls.

Bruce Banner: Only when I've created a murder bot.

Tony Stark: We didn't. We weren't even close. Were we close to an interface?

Steve Rogers: Well, you did something right. And you did it right here. The Avengers were supposed to be different than SHIELD.

Tony Stark: Anybody remember when I carried a nuke through a wormhole?

James Rhodes: No, it's never come up.

Tony Stark: Saved New York?

James Rhodes: Never heard that.

Tony Stark: Recall that? A hostile alien army came charging through a hole in space. We're standing three hundred feet below it. We're the Avengers. We can bust arms dealers all the live long day, but, that up there? That's... that's the end game. How were you guys planning on beating that?

Steve Rogers: Together.

Tony Stark: We'll lose.

Steve Rogers: Then we'll do that together, too.

[Stark looks at him for a moment before turning away]

Steve Rogers: Thor's right. Ultron's calling us out. And I'd like to find him before he's ready for us. The world's a big place. Let's start making it smaller.

I bolded the verbal attacks, you statements, and sarcasm – all of which come from Thor and Rhodey. Steve's angry and feeling triggered (he is obviously flashing back to SHIELDRA and Howard and Peggy's betrayal), but he's not using abusive speech patterns to express his anger.

[Steve and Tony are chopping wood outside Barton's house]

Tony Stark: Thor didn't say where he was going for answers?

Steve Rogers: Sometimes my teammates don't tell me things. [looks at Barton with his kids] I was kind of hoping Thor would be the exception.

Tony Stark: Yeah, give him time. We don't know what the Maximoff kid showed him.

Steve Rogers: “Earth's Mightiest Heroes.” Pulled us apart like cotton candy.

Tony Stark: Seems like you walked away all right.

Steve Rogers: Is that a problem?

Tony Stark: I don't trust a guy without a dark side. Call me old fashioned.

Steve Rogers: Well let's just say you haven't seen it yet.

Tony Stark: You know Ultron is trying to tear us apart, right?

Steve Rogers: Well I guess you'd know. Whether you tell us is a bit of a question.

Tony Stark: Banner and I were doing research.

Steve Rogers: That would affect the team.

Tony Stark: That would end the team. Isn't that the mission? Isn't that the “why” we fight, so we can end the fight, so we get to go home?

Steve Rogers: [rips log apart] Every time someone tries to win a war before it starts, innocent people die. Every time.

Tony is the one who escalates the conversation here (“Seems like you walked away all right.”) – Steve's angry, but his tone is conversational and he's opening up to Tony. His response to Tony is sarcastic (“Well I guess you'd know. Whether you tell us is a bit of a question.”); but it's still direct, and he still isn't using any insults. He's expressing his anger in a mostly healthy way.

[Steve and the twins turn up at the lab]

Steve Rogers: I'm gonna say this once.

Tony Stark: How about “nonce”?

Steve Rogers: Shut it down!

Tony Stark: Nope, not gonna happen.

Steve Rogers: You don't know what you're doing.

Bruce Banner: And you do? She's not in your head?

Wanda Maximoff: I know you're angry.

Bruce Banner: Oh, we're way past that. I could choke the life out of you and never change a shade.

Steve Rogers: Banner, after everything that's happened--

Tony Stark: That's nothing compared to what's coming!

Wanda Maximoff: You don't know what's in there!

Steve Rogers: This isn't a game--

Wanda Maximoff: The creature--

[Pietro uses his speed to destroy the lab equipment]

Pietro Maximoff: No, no. Go on. You were saying?

[Barton shoots the glass Pietro is standing to stand to destroy it, and Pietro falls through]

Wanda Maximoff: Pietro!

Clint Barton: What? You didn't see that coming?

Tony Stark: I'm rerouting the upload.

Bruce Banner: [to Wanda, as he grabs her] Go ahead, piss me off. [After some fighting, Thor enters and hits the cradle with his hammer, sending a powerful bolt of lightning through it that brings the body to life] Wait! [they all look in shock at the new entity]

[Vision launches himself at Thor, who throws him at a window, but he catches himself right before hitting it.]

Vision: [In JARVIS' voice, as everyone gathers around him] I'm sorry, that was...odd. [to Thor] Thank you.

Steve Rogers: Thor, you helped create this?

Thor: I've had a vision. A whirlpool that sucks in all hope of life and at its center is that. [he points to the gem inside Vision's head]

Bruce Banner: What, the gem?

Thor: It's the Mind Stone. It's one of the six Infinity Stones, the greatest power in the universe, unparalleled in its destructive capabilities.

Steve Rogers: Then why would you bring it to...

Thor: Because Stark is right.

Bruce Banner: Oh, it's definitely the end times.

Thor: The Avengers cannot defeat Ultron.

Vision: Not alone.

Steve Rogers: Why does your “vision” sound like JARVIS?

Tony Stark: We... reconfigured JARVIS' matrix to create something new.

Steve Rogers: I think I've had my fill of new.

Vision: You think I'm a child of Ultron?

Steve Rogers: You're not?

Vision: I'm not Ultron. I'm not JARVIS. I am... I am.

Wanda Maximoff: I looked in your head and saw annihilation.

Vision: Look again.

Clint Barton: Yeah. Her seal of approval means jack to me.

Thor: Their powers, the horrors in our heads, Ultron himself, they all came from the Mind Stone, and they're nothing compared to what it can unleash. But with it on our side...

Steve Rogers: Is it? Are you? On our side?

Bruce is the one who insults Tony here (and poor Steve just wants to understand what the hell is happening).

Back to Pepper. A lot of people forget that Rhodey was the only one who wanted Tony to grow and change:

James Rhodes: You don't respect yourself, so I know you don't respect me.

Tony Stark: I respect you.

[cut]

James Rhodes: You are constitutionally incapable of being responsible.

[cut]

James Rhodes: That's what I'm talking about. When I get up in the morning and I'm putting on my uniform, you know what I recognize? I see in that mirror that every person that's got this uniform on got my back!

Tony Stark: Hey, you know what? I'm not like you. I'm not cut out...

James Rhodes: No, no. You don't have to be like me! But you're more than what you are. And you don't see it.

Tony Stark: Can you excuse me if I'm a bit distracted here?

James Rhodes: No! You can't be distracted right now! Listen to me!

Contrast this with Pepper and Happy:

Tony Stark: Same drill. They've been dealing under the table, and I'm going to stop them. I'm going to find my weapons and destroy them.

Pepper Potts: Tony, you know that I would help you with anything, but I cannot help you if you're going to start all of this again.

Tony Stark: There is nothing except this. There's no art opening. There is no benefit. There is nothing to sign. There is the next mission and nothing else.

Pepper Potts: Is that so? Well, then, I quit. [Pepper throws the lock chip on the table.]

Tony Stark: You stood by my side all these years while I reaped the benefits of destruction. And now that I'm trying to protect the people that I put in harm's way, you're going to walk out?

Pepper Potts: You're going to kill yourself, Tony. I'm not going to be a part of it.

Tony Stark: I shouldn't be alive, unless it was for a reason. I'm not crazy, Pepper. I just finally know what I have to do. And I know in my heart that it's right.

Pepper Potts: [Pepper picks the lock drive back up.] You're all I have, too, you know.

And:

Happy Hogan: Yeah, I miss you too. But the way it used to be. Now you're off with the 'superfriends', I don't know what's going on with you anymore. The world's getting weird...

When we are in a relationship with someone (it doesn't matter what kind) and they grow and change, we are left with the choice of either growing ourselves, or walking away/growing distant with that person.

Pepper does neither. She uses emotional abuse to try to control Tony and manipulate him into acting the way she wants him to act – giving up Iron Man and living a selfish civilian life as her kept genius.

This is in direct contrast to Rhodey, Yinsen, and Steve, who see that Tony has had the potential to be “Earth's Best Defender” all along.

#Tony Stark #anti Pepper Pots #anti Pepperony #Steve meta #Stony #Mine #Tony

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bruciemilf · 2 years

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I struggle to put this into words after such a long time of not talking about Tony, but - you know what keeps me interested in him? As a person, but also as a hero? That one trait, that one least talked about but most important quality a hero should have?

Kindness.

Tony is such a kind person that it makes me mushy and makes my eyes water, - and it's not only him, but every hero that possesses this. To be treated so badly, to have your softness crushed and beat and bled dry, but instead of rotting away, instead of becoming just as bad or as worse as your hurt, you flourish?

And its not something perfect. It's not something that always shines through. Tony is kind in a quiet way, almost in secrecy. Because he wasn't raised to see kindness as a strength, but as a shame. But nevertheless, he still is.

I don't really know where I'm going with this. Just that goodness is a choice. It's not something you're born with, or something given to you, It's simply a thing you nurture everyday because you can. The world may be cruel but you don't have have be crueller to be strong. And Tony strongly reminds me of this

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superhusbands-are-my-life · 8 months

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i love steve rogers and tony stark. not just together, but as characters. i love them for being who they are because inherently and undeniably, they are good people. i love them, not because they're perfect or because they can do no wrong, or because they haven't done horrible things in the past or present. i love them, but not because they haven't ever made a mistake.

i love them because they're flawed, they've done terrible things, they've messed up, stumbled, failed, and fallen to the ground in pieces after hitting rock bottom. i love them because they learn from their fuck ups, and i love, love, LOVE watching them learn and fix things together. learning to compromise and talk, supporting each other and never giving up, because that's just how they're built.

i love them because, in the end, they are striving for the same goal even if the ways they do it are different. i love them because they clash, and even if they do, i have full faith that they can and will work through it and make their world a better place because of it. to deny them of their flaws and their mistakes is like only accepting a part of who they are and all the things that make them who they are as characters.

good people make mistakes. everyone does. and i love them all the more for it.

#meta #tony stark #steve rogers #iron man #captain america #stony #stevetony #superhusbands #now #it may be the angstmonger in me #but i love all the pain thats wrought in their relationship and what theyve done to each other #and i love watching them work through it together #even if it hurts #in the end they love each other and love is a choice that you make everyday despite it all #marvel

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sharonisthebettercarter · 7 months

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Hai.

How do you measure your top and bottoms? I will likely greatly regret asking.

oh HIIII @diamonddung~<3<3<3!

why yes. yes you will<3 i never did get that answer on fiona's nick valentine % <3 tho you may need to amend billy's % lmao<3<3<3

as a bonafide too queer to function lunatic and multishipper who *hates* catty supremacist false dichotomy fandom bullshit because of all the unnecessary problems it causes (you know me, lmao, bit of another psa in here i guess given multiship tags and yes, i am still upset about the thing with the artist)? ya know i'm a little out there and not quite with the 'in' crowd of the chunk of cis het women who take party~ in the shipping world~<3 no shade, but it does tend to change one's perspective. i do feel there's lots of shipping discourse that may miss the mark/certain character elements in favor of...

well, normally just plain ol' over-sexualization from some horny ass people lfmao, (homie's scene with doppelhomie is a good example, the trauma presented on his face was ignored in favor of the selfcest fantasy, but in antony starr's words, homie wasn't interested, he was traumatized :((() but also unfortunately... echhh i gotta say it!

hetero-normalizing gay ships and then treating the kink presentation like a goddamn religion... the amount of times i have those 'are the straights okay???' moments are just...

LMAO, all in good fun of course<3 let's not kink shame.

it's fine to have different kinks and discourse, disagreements over how you view characters or what you like, even be enthusiastic with your own views and shout them out to the heavens~! it's *NOT* fine to try and police, dehumanize, or discourage others from enjoying what they like just because it's *different* from you and they exist in a *shared* space.

friendly important reminder to *ship and let ship*, *art and let art* however that may be. even if i don't like the way a ship is presented or voice how *i* personally feel about it, i would *never* try to or even have the gall to tell someone *no, you can't do that, my way or the highway*

It does NOT *exclude* you to *include* others. It costs nothing to be *nice* or simply DNI. This is NOT a dichotomy. Fandoms do NOT need additional toxicity and bullying over something so *trivial* as fictional bullshit. EVER.

"i don't like bullies... i don't care where they're from." ;)

anywho~<3 i love top/bottom exploration because i have a very bad BAD~<3 dominance kink, but switching definitely gets the most downplaying/ignoring with a heavy focus on... mmm, i suppose often, more superficial elements half the time and i'll admit some of mine def are~ lmao nose size. and i don't say that to dissuade any writers, young or old. i say it to *encourage* moar deep diving<3<3<3 and even questioning the way you might think/listening to new perspectives~<3!

we all start somewhere and have times of exploration/learning~<3 learning moar and challenging yourself? that's a *good* thing<3<3<3 but sadly, not always valued (it should be!) :(

but apart from canon dynamices/character depth/personality to the best of my ability/understanding? the long answer is ANAL GAPE~<3

among other things, i'm sure that makes no sense whatsoever<3 because some other factors do get thrown in. intelligence because i'm a morosexual and LOVE big dumb tops<3<3<3, practicality super anuses are a death trap to not be played with however super phalli~, and weirdly... nose size. i'm not kidding!

yeah i know some idiot out there told me nose size is apparently related to phallus size and testosterone levels OH WAIT-- but oddly enough...? i think there may be some kinda instinct there LOL, because it seemed to registered in my brain the same way i registered my top/bottoms for the most part, even *before* learning that...

and i *swear*... i'll come back to this shit cause it's hilarious, but even in fanart, you'll see many artists subconsciously/purposefully give the guy they want to 'top' a bigger nose... even if he has a smaller one. ;)))))))))))))))))

BUTT ANAL GAPE! WHAT IS IT!?

not the nasty version ya nasties~<3

it basically boils down to... how big of an ASSHOLE is this asshole... just wide do those booty cheeks spread with the level a disrespect-- how *badly* does he *need* a good railing and prostate MMPH~<3<3<3! or even spanking~<3 how much of a control freak is he? how stubborn~? how far do those bitchy manipulative little devil vibes go~<3<3<3 what does he *want*? really want. figurative dick energy? is he compensating for something? is he in need of, holdin' out for a hero~<3<3<3? how so? how far from the goal of expressing positive masculinity are we and why? just how toxic we talkin~? i'm slippin' under<3

what is the outward presentation being given vs. the one he gives privately/with those he loves? there's a pretty big difference sometimes and it can say a lot. naturally gentle doms like kal-el or steve rogers i see get mislabeled for that old thing, 'mistaking kindness for weakness', so to speak. but as a general rule, they say that in the bedroom~ people actually tend to give the opposite of what they present in their day to day lives/'those with the most control of their lives are secretly the most submissive' or something along those lines, and it makes sense that things would manifest that way when you think about it. (ironically learned about this *after* learning my kinks)

a good example would be billy butcher, who gives the outward presentation of being rough and ragged and 'in control' wannabe logan, but is extremely soft, caring and submissive with those he loves<3 contrast with homelander who has had ZERO control over his own life from day one and *really* likes it rough when he gets the chance and--

boi lemme tell ya hwat--

it's a number of things, lmao, and the calculations in my head are automatic and will not make sense in numbers. so.

i don't think i need to explain much on anal gape when it comes to scott summers, lex luthor, bruce wayne, tony stark, and especially... *especially* billy butcher.

but lets not forget the added morosexual aspect~ which *can* even override anal gape! so let's go over what every one a my tagged ship bottoms might be saying to their big dumb idiot animal tops being DUMB<3<3<3

scott: *glares violently*

lex: *glares in pure bitch trying to hide the horny*

bucky: steve... what the fuck.

tony: *hard eye rolling and harder cuddling*

bruce: . . .

charles: ERIK!?

billy: *as he takes off his clothes* why... are you a brainless cunt?

pay no mind to homie's indignant huffing with a side of horny in response (somebody find me that goddamn meme lmao<3), and brucie might still be processing clark's stupidity lol<3

it's funny tho, cause i have competency kink too~<3 and i love me a good boi team up/learnin' as we go~<3<3<3

practicality? pretty self explanatory... way back when... dc gave us detail on the urinals of the justice league and pretty much confirmed man of steel, woman of kleenex (my favorite<3). i could not make this shit up-- (thanks btw dd for sending me this shit now i HAVE to share it)

so. given that we know superman's piss stream is strong enough to *dent* reinforced titanium steel when *weakened*--.

do i really have to say much about his sphincter? it makes diamonds, it makes fucking diamonds, do not stick anything up there unless you wanna lose it forever.

from a practical sense, i never like making it *easy* for clark~<3 to bone someone lmao, it's just too fun<3<3<3 (blue k is always an option of course) but also... he can vibrate it (along with his fingers and tongue), he has infinite stamina. and he has no refractory period... ;)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

homelander is much the same, maybe with an added *lack* of control and def a bit moar scary leik, might deliberately murder you scary but STILL--

you could not fucking *PAY* me to miss a goddamn chance for superweiner--

not sure i wanna think about what martian manhunter has... but i'd still let him do whatever to me, honestly<3 he'd be the BEST gentle dom i *swear*. like he'd literally check in and politely ask on you instead of reading your mind and check for any discomfort and be SO SWEET and tender and caring, making sure you're okay the whole time and just genuinely give you an experience you're never gonna forget leik<3<3<3 J'ONN~<3! HHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH~<3<3<3

oops... ignore that--

and as for nose size~<3?

well~<3 OBVIOUSLY i want my bottoms to be getting the best they can<3 i SPOIL the shit out of them! of course we NEED the guy with the bigger dong nose to top, they should be havin' a grand ol' time~!

but back to that artist thing and genuinely, genuinely amazing. it's almost like a guarantee and i don't even know if people are aware of doing it, but it is always so hilarious and adorable to me. *especially* with billy butcher, the star of the anal gape show<3<3<3

"they just can't get my nose right!"

and of course no shade/disrespect to the actor (his nose is so goddamn cute<3<3<3 and i love it<3) or any other actors, or artists, but even *becca* (her nose is also cute and i love it~<3) had a bigger nose than him. seriously. homie's nose is fiiiiine~<3 but also actually bigger and longer. and it's just... ALMOST *guaranteed*. anyone who sees billy as a 'top' while drawing him *automatically* gives him the bigger/longer nose... and it just blows my mind how amazingly consistent that seems to be LOL (apparently like the study done on noses and weiners!)

what does that say about us, i wonder...?? (no seriously, i really wonder<3) adamant denial~<3 maybe? ;))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

billy boo does have the biggest eyes tho~<3<3<3

and apparently, did look it up... but it works inversely with bmi?? which... 100000% explains willem dafoe<3<3<3

it ALSO pretty much... confirms show homelander as their very own willem dafoe/norman osborn... and i never thought i'd have it THIS down bad for osborn but i can't with the things that does to me-- I'VE BEEN CONVERTED!! like the boi *already* is confimed *HUGE* canonically. *by BILLY* in the comic!

but by the gods--

down to the lovely eyes, scary smile, and psychosis. so it is that history repeats... hello mad daddy~<3

god i need to watch dafoe's spooderman again<3

I guess billy boo is now confirmed to be actually *compensating* for SOOOOOO much--

welp. i guess this explains why billy called himself an 'alpha male' unironically which i will never let him live down~<3 he already has the biggest gape i have EVER seen on a character. EVER. like. this boi. has enough gape to fit a goddamn planet up his ass. let's be generous and say that show boi billy is just at moon level. but it is still just. HUGE. which i guess makes homie just the perfect match for him given the willem dafoe vibes--

and honestly... it's beautiful<3

and the best part about billy is just how *self aware* he is of this. he postures to high hell and plays the part his dad would want him to, but he knows it's a goddamn problem, *addiction*, *hates* it, and spends his life looking for *solutions* and *self punishment*...

that's homie baby~<3

billy considered becca his *cure* (if the clear cut submissive role he took with her wasn't enough<3<3<3 SO CUTE<3<3<3) but *homelander* is the *replacement*. his *last resort*. cut my life into pieces--NOOOOO--

goddammit billy boo, i *really* do feel for you, i do... but lemme translate what billy butcher is *actually* saying in both the show and comic in going after homelander. cause lemme tell ya it ain't just revenge...

*destroy me, eviscerate me. because i am afraid of what i will do if you can't stop me. and because you took away the one who could save me, you owe me this and i will take it if need be.*

because there's *one* thing that billy fears, and he's had the ability to say it, even feel it... beaten out of him. but he almost always fully goes into battle *not* intending to come out of it. he *wants* to die and he hates himself a whole lot... and he knows. it's the thing his father gave him, the sickness he passed on that billy never wanted but can't control. but this would also be why he gives no fucks about 'collateral'.

even if by force or violence, billy wants to fail, he wants to be held down, he *wants* to lose, he wants to get knocked back down until he can't get back up anymore. he sure as hell isn't gonna make it easy for anyone, that's not in his nature, but he knows what happens if he can keep going.

billy knows he's a monster, but he is preconditioned to never control it. he sees the kindred monster in homelander, preconditioned to be *under control* but slipping through and vying to get loose... but homelander, despite everything *still* has control... billy wants to see it break, he *needs* it.

ugh~<3<3<3 yes, i know i am redundant with this shit<3 but it's just SO poetic<3<3<3 i CANNOT--

even season 3 evidenced their dynamic and dug in perfectly. scorched urf? the candle's fuckin' lit. herogasm? 3 on 1. ONLY A BRUISE--. billy, bloody smile~ comes back for more? billy gets his ass kicked by the dad on his own and only *maeve* gets anything done to homelander... who doesn't want to kill her, so he holds back even if she won't.

"i respect what you are even if you don't--."

got. damn...

but homie? he's the last lifeline, and he's tied to *both* sides of billy. and a people pleaser<3<3<3! who's also too dumb to get what's going on with billy, not that he'd care if he did... who's at the same time caught and curious by billy's obsession and the mirror between them<3

homie wants and knows how to please people... not just because he's been trained for it or a clear cut service top with dark~<3 elements<3<3<3 or because he wants the feeling he gets from their approval/admiration. very typical of a narcissist lmao, but also because of the added vulnerability that he is easily manipulated/exploited by the women in his life, not realizing he's a victim or being groomed/manipulated.

even the uh... *moment* he had with stillwell, she exploits his trauma and desire for a mother so directly that he just totally loses it and profusely appologizes. he's aware of how to *please* someone if ya get me~<3 ;))))))) (by the apology given at all) but he's *not* aware that she is abusing/exploiting his trauma in this way *because he lacks empathy for himself/has never genuinely had it given without some sort of exploitive exchange*, sort of opposite of billy in this sense too. poor dumb baby~<3!

what's really extra hilarious and ironic is that stormfront is pretty much what a lady billy would be but nowhere near as good as manipulating as him

but all homelander has ever known is the *examples* set before him by vought. and it's... quite obviously not a good one... :(((((((((((((((((( but he's *not* aware. billy is much the same, but he *is* aware. hence the deep buried cravings to be *free* vs. fucking approval ratings in homie, and *controlled* vs. lack of self control in billy... goddammit the fucking POETRY<3<3<3

so? it's just more of the same old same old. and homie loves, LOVES not having to hold back once he gets a taste for it... with *stormfront* no less... but *also* from billy in a different sense and now... beyond. still ADORE how he went flaccid on the nazi rhetoric lmao even this boi has his limits<3--

"let's light this candle--"

it's already fucking lit--

... you know full well how excited i get, lmao<3 and ya DID ask<3<3<3 XD

everyone else (to homelander): don't be what they made you... please for the love of fucking gawd, PLEASE--

billy: be what they fucking made you motherfucker, i wanna fuck FIGHT and see everything destroyed. i'll wait.

stormfront: be what we fucking made you, i wanna fuck and see everything not us destroyed. i won't wait.

but the short answer? i go by % of willem dafoe energy, the *CORRECT* answer is WILLEM DAFOE<3<3<3 (not to be confused with norman osborn... unless willem dafoe<3) DUH~!

WOOO-- goddamn... and i ain't even done yet. i spend WAY too much time obsessing over these fuckers, i SWEAR.

and ALSO the ladies~<3 are tops. all of them. ALL OF THEM. NO EXCEPTIONS-- lmao, KIDDING... maybe<3 (i might do another one going over mah lady~<3 ships<3<3<3 cause this got long... and i did get carried away with butchy and homie... of course i did. but you know how i love them<3<3<3)

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becci-chan · 9 months

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Money

For the @stevetonygames 2023 Team Past Square "Money"

#stony #stevetony #stevetony games 2023 #team past #drabble #my writing #look i made something meta #there's a whole au in this #kinda proud of it

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soliloquent-stark · 5 months

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roses of restraint by oliver ler marinkoski, originally posted on tumblr by @saucetell but i didn't want to hog their post with my delusions

writers, assemble! (or if someone were to draw the scene instead i would not be opposed)

i am calling out for all stevetony writers because i need this concept as a fic ASAP and i know i would never do it justice so if someone would please please please please put my beautiful perfect favourite middle aged man — tony — in these intricate delicate gold rope restrains adorned with roses — i will sell you my soul

bonus points if it's handmade by tony, maybe based on a drawing steve made of him and he wants to make his fantasy come true so he spends hours in his lab recreating and designing and molding all this gold with his hands knowing full well that materials alone cost a couple hundred thousand dollars but it's all worth it

or perhaps it's actually steve who created it because he takes an interest in sculpting and ends up making all of these roses and before he even knows what he's doing he's suddenly got this whole rope of them that represents both roughness and beauty, masculinity and femininity, strength and vulnerability, constraint and obedience and he knows who is a manifestation of all those traits: tony

for this second idea, extra bonus points again if they're not even a thing romantically but somehow steve just goes and gifts it to him because he's unbashful and brave and earnest and thinks it would look nice on him

i am. feeling things. i need this. please

ps. i can totally also envision steve wearing it; my brain went to tony first but there's something about the metal being strong enough to maybe actually restrain steve (vibranium-gold alloy, perhaps? which would also be a meaningful representation of iron man and captain america coming together but i digress) and the gold would contrast his pale skin so nicely and bring out his unfairly blue eyes and his constantly flushed lips—

so yeah; either way works

maybe i will write it myself one day but most likely not but at least i got to scream this into the void and you can all have these vivid mental images now because they were worth sharing

#stevetony core #i beg #the aesthetic is divine #tony my beloved #stevie baby #stony #stevetony #stony meta

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therollingstonys · 24 days

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Do you all miss the way tumblr used to be with people sending each other prompts and asks about their fics and just asks in general? Because I sure do!! People talk about stony fandom dying, and I get it because if people don’t reblog or send asks or comment on fics then of course it feels like the fandom is dying!! I think that if we want this fandom to be more lively then it’s incumbent upon us to create a community again!

So what can you do?

Send asks about the fics you like!

Send asks about writing in general!

Send asks about stony and discuss meta!

Send prompts!!

Send asks!!!

Reblog posts!! (Seriously, this is how tumblr works—likes are awesome, but reblogs mean fics and art and meta and everything else gets shared to the wider community of stony fans!!)

Comment on fics!! Authors LOVE comments and many times will reply and start a conversation with you!

Ask for fic recs!!

Create your own fic rec list!!

There’s so many ways to build a community and keep a fandom thriving, but it’s on all of us to keep our fandom alive!!

Fandom only dies if you let it, so let’s all work together to create a vibrant, thriving community!!

#stony #fandom etiquette #tony stark #stevetony #steve rogers #superhusbands #iron man #captain america #steve x tony #mod Stella talks

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allthecanadianpolitics · 1 month

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Despite a thick layer of ice, you can still hear the creek gurgling. Meta Williams uses a stick of alder to poke through a thin layer of ice that's formed over a hole, and stoops to fill a large pail with water she'll later use for drinking and cooking. Stony Creek, about 50 kilometres west of Whitehorse and near Mendenhall Landing, is so clean, Williams said, that she drinks straight from it — something she's done for about five decades. And it's no different for many other Ibex Valley residents, she said. "It's one of those places where we feel safe to drink the water," said Williams, who's of mixed Yukon First Nations ancestry, including Southern Tutchone. "We feel safe to go on the sides, go up the sides of the hill and pick the berries in the springtime. Some of the medicine plants. We pick our soapberries here. "It's like a part of everything I breathe. It's been a part of my life, all my life."

Tagging @politicsofcanada

#cdnpoli #canada #canadian politics #canadian news #yukon #mining #resource extraction #pollution #environment #environmental racism #first nations

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wataksampingan · 2 months

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Very long Chapter 96 feelings/thoughts below cut coz I saved my hard-earned Naver cookies for this and I'm going to react while it's fresh dammit.

Spoilers in every possible way, as always.

Oh my God its their first official date and of course it doesn't go Theo's way at all coz he's fighting a lost cause against an author with a sense of humour I share. Thank God his people love him

Nearly 100 chapters later and only now do we start steering towards Therdeo "My angel" Lapileon from the prologue (which I still find it difficult to fathom; the road is long and arduous from Therdeo 'Face as Red as My Eyes' Lapileon we see right now)

I have yet to translate the dialogue properly, but that last panel of him honestly unnerves me (and judging from Google Translated comments in Korean, I'm not the only one.) I'm not really one for the kind of ML who is madly obsessive over their love interest to extremely difficult extents coz I'm too old and cynical to see this as a good thing in a relationship, fictional or otherwise (This is purely a personal preference; no judgement if that's your jam and jelly)

But the thing is that it makes sense. Of course Theo would get dangerous over the first woman he's fallen in love with. Of course he'd do anything to keep her now that, yknow, she's actually made her feelings known. After 90+ chapters of angsting, literally watching her die a few times in front of him, holding such huge feelings of guilt for what his blood has done to her, quietly despairing over keeping anyone close to him coz he's a Lapileon and they succumb so often to death -- this overwhelming fear of losing her is understandable. The idea of her leaving now must be intolerable, like "not after every damn thing I've been through. Everything we have been through. Over my cold dead body".

...I've had the thought quite a few times that seungu succeeded in convincing me that Theo is scary, and this chapter - while also very sweet - is really laying that fact out again in no uncertain terms: Therdeo Lapileon really shouldn't be messed with.

The thing is, meta-wise, there is no end to cold, stern dukes of the frozen North with fearsome reputations, black/dark hair and red/dark eyes - it's one of the most longstanding fantasy romance tropes in manhwa after all. Throw a stone and you'll hit a milord with a chest so wide you can fit a full dresser sideways between his shoulders and a face so stony Medusa is taking notes. And of course, his grace is going to have the reputation of Ultimate Warrior and Sovereign of His Land, Tamer of the Terrain, Reviver of the Barren Soil Now Made Fertile under His Leadership, because only such a powerful man with a heart of ice and terror would have the wherewithal to bend the unyielding north to his will. He isn't emperor/king simply because of circumstances (TM), character and/or choice.

To name just a few: Prince (...kinda? Sorta? Its a long story) Killian from Like Wind on a Dry Branch, Hades from I Married the Main Lead's Dad, Riftan from Under the Oak Tree, Kandel from I Thought My Time Was Up, Milian from Karina's Last Days; heck, even the other Killian from Not Your Typical Reincarnation Story is about to inherit a territory that isn't so great but which he will no doubt develop into a thriving land coz he's Capable that way. If you remove the hair and eye colour conditions, there are even more examples. 99% of them are said to strike fear into the hearts of men just by being mentioned in a room.

...ngl, putting my gigantic bias aside, Theo truly is among my top three scariest ML. Not even Killian (Rieta's) gives me pause the way Theo does, and I have immense respect and admiration for the way Like Wind on A Dry Branch is told (and translated). I know Killian is a powerful man; I feel Theo is threatening. (Brief aside here to acknowledge that Killian has game for days, while Theo is....... look, he's trying.)

Take this opinion with many grains of salt, but few MLs that I've seen so far (and admittedly my repertoire is probably very limited compared to others) has come close to the time Theo plain snapped during Celphi's bullying arc, and when he nearly decapitated a wholeass princess in front of the entire court because she killed his wife (again. And yes, justifiable but still, in front of the EMPEROR HIMSELF.)

Also, the man looked like THIS when the servant who poisoned her begged him to "go back to the princess":

I say this with all love: Theo is not a balanced individual.

We already know this is a world where medieval torture is par for the course, but so far it's been reserved for Gen, who tortured and experimented on a child, and this dude who's been an accessory to Dodolea's crimes since the beginning. Theo does not give a single fuck about trivial things like consequences when it comes to Celphi and Perry's wellbeing. The world will burn if it must, just so he can find out who hurt them.

I said before that Saoirse is a true Lapileon, and Theo was the softest hearted of the siblings. I still maintain it's true, but with the addendum that Theo isn't far off in ruthlessness. You just need to make the mistake of hurting his wife or his son.

Granted, the obsession is only a problem if he restricts Perry just because she's "His". And she's proven a few times that she will Do Shit She Wants regardless of the Lapileons, Princess Dodolea or even herself (god, the way she second guessed herself so hard, only to bust back into the room with those shackles and physically FIGHT MIA OFF in ch 92 - Phineas owes her impulsiveness his life literally). I don't think the story can logically progress that way unless Perry has some sort of personality transplant. And I trust seungu too much for that. The fear is in more what he'll do behind her back (please don't Theo, we've been through this, you know what happened the last time you did things without telling her first - and even if other things went well (like suppressing ugly false stories in publications) that doesn't guarantee you're doing the right thing by not keeping her informed, you walnut.

...yes I know she also has the same bad habit of Not Telling You Her Business but she's LEARNING. I think.)

...also, tbf, Theo doesn't need his obsession to make him a danger to his own love life. Romance or not, he's still Socially Awkward and Fucked Up so lord only knows how many awkward mistakes he's going to make trying to actively court his wife 🥲

Then again, it's not like she's any better considering her last serious relationship was so awful, she literally died and went back in time. I'm not surprised, and in fact quite glad, it took her this long to admit to her finer feelings. However, now this is slightly uncharted territory, and this woman bottles up her feelings and lies to herself just about as much as Theo does. (Why are you so bothered Mia spent so much time around him? Why are you so upset that you can't do more to help him? Why are you so worried whenever he's seemingly avoiding you? Why do you look away each time he gives you puppy dog eyes, Pereshati? HMMM? WHY INDEED)

And now they have to return to the capital with all these revelations, and be within reach of the imperial family again and I AM AFRAID FOR THEM, PRECIOUS, I TRULY AM.

On a completely different tangent: I am truly not a fan of the novel ending where Theo ends up being crowned emperor. So if this manhwa ends with the coronation of His Imperial Majesty Emperor Therdeo Lapileon and Her Imperial Majesty Empress Pereshati Jahardt, I will be heartbroken. Like, I would have the same reaction to it the way Game of Thrones fans reacted to Season 8. That's how bad I would take it. I hope to all things good seungu deviates from there as well. It feels like the romance is following the novel just a smidge more - a soupçon if you will - in this season, so I'm a little trepidatious about what other aspects might follow. I remain a big fan of how different the manhwa direction is, so... GO SEUNGU!! FOLLOW YOUR STAR!!

P/S: my train of thought while reading ch 90:

Seungu is just bringing all of Phineas' personal trauma in full technicolor when he flashes back to his younger self witnessing his parents fight while his older brother sustains a severe eye injury, oh my god. This poor boy - no wonder he wanted to run so badly.

Oh god, Gloria having to try and save her children from this insane man.

Okay, so this cements that it was Theo's grandfather who was tyrannical as fuck and abused everyone including his youngest grandson? not Theo's father who also looks like he was just Trying His Best? But Gen's dialogue mentions "abeoji" (father)? Did Phineas' older brother neglect his kids or grow up into another abuser??? oh GOD THIS FAMILY

PPS: I cannot WAIT to see how the English translators handle that panel in ch95 when he finally finds enough braincells to return her embrace (that's not just any hug, cmon - that's a full on, no holds barred, literary Embrace)

I'm fairly sure she said "It's/I'm cold", but I also got overexcited because I thought she said "I like you" (???) It's easy to overlap/overhear either phrase as each other coz they sound fairly similar if you say it quickly (same energy like saying "suki" in Japanese but you need context to know if they mean they like a person or something else entirely).

Either way, it was definitely NOT "saranghae", which let's face it, IS FAR TOO DEEP for where they are right now. These two doofuses have only just begun to find out what their feelings mean, tho Theo may be too quick a study , eomma help.

PPPS: Ep 87 comes out in English tomorrow morning (for us in GMT+8 anyway) AND I WILL HAVE WORDS ABOUT THAT CONVERSATION, VJFHDJSKSKSL I CANNOT WAIT

PPPPS: it just occurred to me that all the examples I mentioned about the other comparable dukes of the North have more or less Definitively gotten together with their love interests, emotionally and/or physically. I mean if someone came up with a gantt chart/comparative timeline/line graph of when each duke finally kissed/tumbled into bed with their love interests to prove me wrong/right, that'd be fantastic but anyway

Theo has only just hugged her in ch 95.

They have shared a bed for over 90 chapters and it is ONLY JUST NOW that there is prolonged bodily contact apart from holding (often gloved) hands.

...I keep saying this because it's true: I love this slow burn so much.

#MILAOWM #my in laws are obsessed with me #my in-laws are obsessed with me #spoilers #so spoilers up in here #spoilers every which way everywhere all the time

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