Imagine Jaune as Scott Sterling(from Studio C). How funny would that be? Pyrrha would probably sue the coach and let Nora beat up the team.
Oobleck: Welcome back to our coverage of the game between Teams RWBY and JNPR.
Port: If you're just joining us today, you've missed most of an unbelievably well fought match between two incredible teams tonight. It has all come down to the final, penalty shots. All it takes is enough points for either team. Here comes the kick...
Pyrrha: (Kicks, Scores goal)
Oobleck: OH! SPECTACULAR! Team JNPR's star player, Pyrrha Nikos, has just landed a goal for her team, so now the burden rests on Team JNPR's goal-keeper, Jaune Arc.
Port: Here he comes. A fine lad with nerves of steel. He's got more hanging over him than the city of Mantle right now.
Oobleck: Indeed, and it seems the fans are showing their appreciation for it. Yang Xiao Long places the ball on the spot, getting ready.
Port: That girl literally has a cannon for a leg, and here she comes! Winding up for the shot and-
Yang: (Kicks)
Jaune: (Pelted in the face)
Oobleck/Port: OOOOOOOOOOOOH!
Port: THE CANNON HAS FIRED AND HAS STRUCK JAUNE ARC IN THE FACE DIRECTLY!
Oobleck: We clocked that at a stunning 116 kilometers per hour!
Port: Now that's a lot of, er, miles per hour!
Oobleck: Even with aura, there is no chance that young man's nose isn't broken right now.
Port: Oh, indeed!
Jaune: (Dazed)
Goodwitch: (Shining a light in his face, Nods, Leaves)
Port: Now it seems Team JNPR's coach, Professor Goodwitch, is examining him and deems him fit for duty after a short rest. Sadly, he's not out of the woods yet.
Oobleck: On his feet now, a bit shaken.
Port: But not stirred!
Oobleck/Port: HAHAHAHA!
Port: This crowd absolutely loves this young man.
Oobleck: He returns to his team, who welcome him back as a hero. And now comes another penalty kick, and scoring here would make it two nil. Nora Valkyrie approaches the ball with determination!
Nora: (Kicks, Misses goal)
Port: She hits high and wide, way off target!
Oobleck: She must have thought she was playing Mantle Football and attempting a field goal!
Port: Wrong kind of football, I'd say! And back now to Jaune Arc, looking a bit worse for wear, but ready for round two.
Oobleck: The shot takes a moment, but here comes Belladonna!
Blake: (Kicks)
Jaune: (Beaned in the schnozz)
Oobleck/Port: OOOOOOOOOOOOH!
Port: Jaune Arc with the fantastic dive! The ball flies straight through the air and his hands and whacks Jaune Arc right in the sniffer!
Oobleck: Looking again on the instant replay and OH! EVERY EXCRUCIATING DETAIL IS CAPTURED PERFECTLY IN HIGH-DEFINITION PERFECTION! Clocked in at 129 kilometers per hour.
Port: Arc does not look well. Two wonderful saves compounding two DEFINITE concussions.
Goodwitch: (Carries Jaune on shoulder)
Jaune: (Falls, Dragged away)
Oobleck: This seems to be the end of Jaune Arc's performance tonight.
Port: Indeed, as his coach pulls him through the grass and off the field, like a large-breasted lioness dragging a gazelle with a broken nose across the savannah.
Oobleck: Adieu, Jaune Arc. Adieu.
Port: JNPR now with their third PK. Weiss bouncing at the goal like an infant. The crowd holds their breath as Valkyrie moves in... OH! Very anticlimactic there. Let's see who they got to replace Jaune Ar-
Oobleck/Port: JAUNE ARC!
Port: JAUNE ARC IS BACK!
Oobleck: Jaune Arc is still in the game! Oh my, and it seems he's taken a very odd tactic now!
Port: He seems to be in the fetal position, covering his face.
Oobleck: Not a recommended technique, but here it co- Oh, wait! It seems Weiss Schnee is stopping to tie her shoe.
Port: Ho ho! And that's why you do a double-knot, kids!
Oobleck: Arc, still waiting for the kick to happen. He's probably wondering when the-
Jaune: (Looks up)
Weiss: (Kicks, Pops him in the beak)
Oobleck/Port: OOOOOOOOOOOOH!
Oobleck: SWEET, CREAMY DECAF!
Port: The ball strikes Arc right in the face, further crushing his nostrils into thin slits! He must be breathing only blood by now! He's going to look like one of those cartoon characters that just ran into a frying pan while they were chasing after a mouse!
Oobleck: I don't even care that we missed Lie Ren's attempt! Let's go back to-
Oobleck/Port: JAUNE ARC!
Port: THE MAN!
Oobleck: THE MYTH!
Oobleck/Port: THE LEGEND!
Jaune: (Stumbling to the goal, Bloodied and battered)
Port: I can't wait to see Arc and his catlike face reflexes!
Oobleck: Absolutely incredible, though I must say that Arc does not look well at all lying on the ground there.
Port: Well, you know athletes. They like to add a bit of drama to their performances.
Jaune: (Picked up by Ren and Nora)
Port: Are they taking him out?
Pyrrha: (Runs out with chair)
Oobleck: They brought him a chair! A bold move by their coach!
Jaune: (Reaches for his team leaving)
Oobleck: This is basically a gimme! Ruby Rose has to literally kick it anywhere that isn't where Jaune Arc is!
Port: There is no way Team RWBY can mess up this shot!
Jaune: (Begging Ruby)
Ruby: (Kicks, Craters his face)
Oobleck/Port: OOOOOOOOOOOOH!
Oobleck: ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY-EIGHT KILOMETERS PER HOUR!
Port: THIS MAN CAN DO NO WRONG! Just look at him in this instant replay, begging for mercy when it should be mercy begging for him!
Oobleck: He has looked Death in the eye and said, "Take your best shot!" To which Death replies with repeated punches to Arc's face! Just over and over and over again!
Port: If Team JNPR make this final shot, it's all over! But-
Oobleck/Port: OOOOOOOOOOOOH!
Port: No! Pyrrha Nikos misses, clearly too distracted by the wounds her partner, Jaune Arc, has sustained in this game! Speaking of, it's time we go back to-
Oobleck/Port: JAUNE! ARC!
Port: His face is like a brick wall!
Oobleck: A brick wall that can feel only pain and cries a lot!
Port: Wait a minute... I see Team RWBY's star kicker, Penny Polendina, but where's Jaune Arc?
Oobleck: ...Oh! It seems Arc is crawling away from the goal! WHAT IS HE DOING?!
Port: HE'S THROWING AWAY THE MATCH!
Penny: (Kicks exactly where she needs to)
Jaune: (...Words cannot describe the calamity of what just happened. At least, they fail to accurately depict what could be described as what really happened. The only accuracy that could be described in this space is that there was physical contact between Jaune Arc's face and a large, head-sized ball, and that there was a lot of bodily fluids that resulted from this contact, and that Jaune Arc was in so much pain that it's likely he passed out or away, though it's also just as likely that he didn't.)
Oobleck/Port: OOOOOOOOOOOOH!
Port: ARC HAS DONE THE IMPOSSIBLE!
Oobleck: ICAN'TBELIEVEIT! LOOKATTHAT! HE'SDONETHEIMPOSSIBLE! He was hit just right! What incredible instincts he had to just crawl away from the goal like that!
Port: His team rushes to the field, happy as a lark, as they all slide in and accidentally kick Jaune Arc in the face!
Oobleck: And now his team his carrying him off and away on an orange stretch of victory, glory, and emergency medical attention! Jaune Arc and his face of steel have won it all!
68 notes
·
View notes
In regards to this post.
Studio C also made a volleyball sequel to their Scott Sterling video; link
You know what you must do Howling….
Oobleck: Welcome back to our coverage of another game between Teams RWBY and JNPR.
Port: If you're just joining us, it's been a roller coaster of emotions with both teams tied at two sets a piece, and the victor will be the Champions of Beacon Academy.
Oobleck: JNPR only needing to get the edge by two points with their team captain, Jaune Arc-
Port: Love that man!
Oobleck: Don't we all? -trying desperately to hold their position at the top, otherwise it's all over. Pyrrha Nikos ready to serve what may be the last game of her professional career.
Port: And here! We! Go!
Oobleck: Excellent serve!
Port: RWBY setting up the spike and-
Jaune: (Pounded in the forehead)
Oobleck/Port: OOOOOOOOOOOOH!
Port: Deflected!
Oobleck: Right into Jaune Arc's face!
Port: And JNPR ties it with Team RWBY! Unbelievable!
Oobleck: Fasten your seatbelts, ladies and gentlemen; Jaune Arc's face has entered the game!
Port: Just look at this instant replay! The angle at which Arc deflects the ball is nothing short of perfection!
Oobleck: Like watching a master painter masterfully painting his masterpiece... with his face!
Port: JNPR now on the prowl to take the lead with Nikos serving again! Team RWBY setting up a devastating return to the lead, and here it comes-
Jaune: (Nostrils pounded in, Slumps)
Oobleck/Port: OOOOOOOOOOOOH!
Port: Arc makes a tremendous save!
Oobleck: But it's not over yet as Team RWBY set up again for another spike, not wasting any opportunity to-
Jaune: (On his knees, Face pounded)
Oobleck: MOTHER OF PEARL!
Port: ARC SCORES!
Oobleck: Welcome to the heavyweight bout between Arc's face versus everything else!
Port: He looks like he could be pray on his knees!
Oobleck: The peaceful visage of TBI!
Port: We are ALL witnesses!
Oobleck: TESTIFY~!
Port: LET US ALL FEAST ON THE SWEET NECTAR! Of instant replay!
Oobleck: Just a perfect defense; the pinnacle of the word sacrifice.
Port: The ball flies right past the blocker, into Arc's awaiting face, back over the net, and then back into Arc's face like an obese homing Nevermore!
Jaune: (Stumbling about, Blind)
Nora: (Turns him to the net)
Oobleck: That man will leave here today, knowing he gave up everything he could! ...if he leaves at all .The crowd is on their feet, cheering for their hero, Jaune Arc!
Port: Much like the days of my youth when I held the entire Kingdom of Atlas on my back, so too does Jaune Arc carry the weight of his opponents upon his face!
Oobleck: JNPR has come back from the brink to put this one into the history books!
Port: It's one point for JNPR, can RWBY push past the Arc's defense to-
Jaune: (Knocked prone by Yang)
Port: Arc blocks it!
Oobleck: DID YOU SEE THAT?!
Port: Team RWBY deliver another spike to The Man!
Jaune: (Hit again by Blake)
Oobleck: The myth!
Jaune: (And again by Weiss)
Oobleck/Port: THE LEGEND!
Jaune: (...)
Nora: (Grabs Jaune's legs)
Pyrrha: (Grabs Jaune's arm)
Ren: (Grabs Jaune's other arm)
Port: His teammates haul him to his feet!
Oobleck/Port: NO!
Port: They raise him to his everywhere!
Jaune: (Jaune, I know that you're still... recovering, but please. The team needs you. I need you. So please, just this once... Just one more time, the world needs Jaune Arc on the court. Besides, this is a totally different game than what we were playing before. I doubt you'll have to worry about being hit in the face, especially since you've got a whole team around you to provide backup. Now come on, there world's waiting for you...)
Oobleck: HE'SDONEIT! ICAN'TBELIEVEIT! JAUNEARC! He's been taken through the air like a defensive angel!
Ozpin: (Fuming, Tosses over chair)
Port: An angel with the face of a devil!
Oobleck: Let's get an instant replay!
Oobleck: One is the loneliest number!
Port: Two tickets to paradise!
Oobleck: Three times a lady!
Oobleck/Port: FOOOOOOOOOR-
Ruby: (Slow-mo punching the ball into Jaune's face)
Oobleck/Port: -EEEEEVEEEEEEEER YOOOOOOOOOOOOOUNG!
Port: The crowd charges the court, and the people are weeping!
Oobleck: The tears of joy~!
Port: The Schnees are Schneeting!
Oobleck: Pound sign Jaune Arc~!
Port: The hospitals are preparing to receive the man himself!
Oobleck: The fifth relic himself!
Port: The great! Wall! of Jaune Arc!
Oobleck: I tell you, when the Brothers comes back, I want to be in a bunker made of Jaune Arc's face!
Port: Until next time...
Oobleck/Port: GOOD NIGHT, EVERYONE!
49 notes
·
View notes