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sena-shi · 1 year

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Protector of Teyvat (a troll hell-bent on reviving everyone just for fun) P—3

Isekai’d reader who is hell-bent on reviving everyone using your cheat code as the protector of Teyvat. With great power comes great benefits! Teyvat population stonks

Note: asmoday is the unknown god, reader also grants gnosis and visions, isekai, slight sagau in the future chapters, op reader

Summary: You are just a regular human being living your best life on Earth, collecting husbandos and waifus in Genshin Impact when all of a sudden you were isekai'd to Teyvat, but not as a traveler, a creator, or an NPC. You are a very close friend of both Celestia and the Unknown God, who is known as the Sustainer of Heavenly Principles. You also hold a very important position of the highest order because unbeknownst to the general populace, you are the Protector of Teyvat from the outside forces.

And so imagine the Archon's faces when their dead friends suddenly came back to life just so they can accompany you together with Aether and Paimon on a journey to spit on the Celestia's face

Timeline in Teyvat when you got transmigrated: Before any wars happened. Zhongli is probably sucking on a dragon pacifier or something if that even exists.

Warning: curse words, slight ooc, lore flying over the ocean and going for a swim, author removed the lore from the irminsul so act like you know nothing of it, i'm putting the lore in the cheese grater

“As what I am trying to say, Lady Y/N… is quite… a peculiar person.”

Jean sighed and scratched her temples, beginning to feel stressed. "Stop going in circles and get to the point, Kaeya."

About half an hour has passed since Kaeya first started talking, and it does not seem like he is going to get straight to the point any time soon.

Paimon flew closer to you, who was visibly bored as you sat on a chair, whispering into your ears.

“Paimon thinks you broke him...”

You folded your arms and looked at the man who had been struggling to explain for about ten minutes with a quiet chuckle. His eyes met yours, and he instantly averted his gaze, an embarrassed expression on his face.

And even Lisa, who is standing next to Jean, has been staring at you for quite some time. Her gaze was strong despite the pleasant smile on her face.

“You flatter me, Captain Kaeya.”

Jean arched an eyebrow at you, seemingly perplexed.

“After all, I am just a normal human being trying to make a living.”

She blinked, trying to process everything that is going on. If you're only something like a traveling merchant, why is Kaeya acting as if he's forced to sing praises about you?

The entire room fell silent, and all eyes were fixed on you.

With a straight face, you answered calmly, "I sell visions and use fried eggs to resurrect the dead.”

The room fell into an awkward silence as Kaeya coughed so loudly that he flopped down on the ground and decided to become one with the floor.

"This is quite a change of events," Lisa said with a beautiful frown as she glanced at Kaeya, who was suffering in silence.

Jean shook her head in utter confusion as she pointed at Kaeya, "Just why is he acting like this...?"

“Oh!” Paimon exclaimed in realization of Jean's question. She rubbed the side of her head then stroke her chin, as if she didn't know how to explain everything.

“Uhm— uh… Paimon's not sure who this Crepus guy is, but when Y/N threw a fried egg somewhere, he poof out of the ground and insisted on going to his son instead of joining us to meet you here.”

"He even wanted Kaeya to come along, but this man had already left before we realized it!" Paimon yelled and pointed towards Kaeya.

Jean raised a brow in confusion, and Paimon spoke once again, "It’s not Paimon’s fault, I swear! He suddenly appeared, and Kaeya looked like he had seen a ghost... Paimon is guessing that he is someone important that Y/N randomly brought back to life to scold Kaeya for touching her."

“Oh, my archons…”

Lisa turned to stare at Jean, her eyes wide with confusion.

“If I know… Crepus is Master Diluc’s father.”

Lisa gasped, and Kaeya seemed to be dead with his face plastered to the ground.

“Oh?” You shrugged your shoulders, glancing out the window, unconcerned with what was going on around you.

Jean sighed, obviously disturbed. "How is this even possible? I'm sure even the archons can't—"

“Lady Y/N is not an archon…”

“I’m afraid I don’t quite follow, Kaeya.”

“Lady Y/N is someone who is much higher than the archons…”

Lisa appeared to be captivated with the new knowledge and immediately turned to gaze at you with amazement. You, on the other hand, paid no attention to her and continued to stare out the window absentmindedly.

Will Timmie make a great archon?

What if I give Timmie a Pyro Vision to roast his pigeons?

If I revive little floatie’s friend, will I have two little Venti?

But what if little floatie's friend starts to feel embarrassed when he sees the huge statue that looks like him standing in the middle of Mondstadt?

If I slap Dain with a fried egg to remove the curse, will he get mad? I’m pretty sure I’d lose my arm before my hand can even come close…

“Someone… higher than the archons?” Jean mumbled to herself.

Paimon huffed, placing her hands on her hips and said confidently, "She is the Protector after all!"

Lisa's eyes twinkled with delight and respect at the new revelation. Back in Akademiya, she unintentionally read a forbidden book about Teyvat's Protector. It was believed to have been authored by the first Dendro Archon, but the book has since been lost or stolen.

There are no other records of you save for that single book, which she is keeping so discreetly that she even went to Mondstadt to keep it safe, despite the fact that the book has reduced her lifespan in half. But unexpectedly, the book mysteriously vanished.

It was recorded that the God of Wisdom has only encountered you once, when they had ascended one of the seven seats, and there were no more chances of meeting you again because you've been protecting Teyvat in the shadows. You've been keeping Teyvat so safe that you have no time to even mingle with them.

"However, I have a sneaking suspicion that the Celestia is trying to keep her highness away from the seven archons, particularly the Anemo Archon,” — this was one of the numerous lines written by the God of Wisdom that Lisa will never forget having to read.

It was only a one-time meeting, but it was described that all the archons were overjoyed to catch a glimpse of you. There must not be any records preserved or knowledge of you because doing so will provoke the heavenly principles. It's most likely that this is the reason why Sumeru was dealt such a devastating blow back then. And with such a wealth of information, Lisa is left wondering why she is still alive.

And now that the two of you even have the chance to meet, she considers herself to be one of the fortunate people in Teyvat to have the opportunity to speak with you face to face.

Jean cast a quick glance in the direction of the librarian, who has all of a sudden adopted a new attitude towards you. Now that she's thinking about it, she's curious to find out what information the librarian has about you.

"...before we came to the headquarters, there were at least three or four citizens who had been granted with a vision.” Kaeya shuddered.

“Kaeya’s speaking the truth! Even Paimon has lost count already! At this point, the entire Mondstadt could be dubbed as the nation of vision holders!”

Paimon's voice jolted you out of your daze, prompting you to respond, "...I thought we'd keep that a secret."

“Oh— right! Paimon’s sorry!”

You laughed, softly waiving your hands as a sign that everything was fine. You looked at Jean, who was suddenly staring at you with such reverence that she seemed to want to grovel before you.

You smiled at her. “Anyways, are we done here?”

"Ah, yes," Jean said awkwardly, looking over at Aether, who was staring at you attentively, "About the storm terror attack."

"Y/N and the Anemo Archon supported me," Aether said with a blank expression and a shrug of his shoulders.

“Oh goodness… you’re traveling with the protector and even met the Anemo Archon?” Lisa asked, her mouth slightly wide in surprise.

“Anemo Archon, Anemo Archon, ah— my little floatie is just so adorable. Maybe I should travel the worlds with him after resigning…” You muttered to yourself.

Aether and the other people in the room have all of a sudden become alerted, and their attention is focused on you. Even Kaeya suddenly straightened his posture, only to see you staring peacefully outside the windows.

After resigning!? Travel alone with the Anemo Archon!? Jealous, jealous, jealous—

The voices of Celestia and Asmoday can be heard wailing somewhere in the distance in the sky. They are most likely devising a plot to put you behind bars at this very moment.

It shouldn't come as a surprise if the Anemo Archon suddenly have a club of haters.

You started humming a tune as you became aware of the peaceful atmosphere that was beginning to arise.

You snorted and mockingly said, "Oh? What exactly am I seeing? We've barely known each other for a day, and you're already obsessed with me?"

They all choked in embarrassment, turning away to hide their flushed cheeks.

You cocked your head to the side, amused, as they all began babbling silly reasons just to cover themselves up.

“W—well, it’s not everyday that you get to meet someone like— like—”

“Paimon thinks Y/N feels comfy to be around! Paimon’s not obsessed at all!”

Aether quickly agreed with a nod.

“Right, right, alright. If you people are still interested in discussing the stormterror attack, then I'll just leave you to it,” You gave them a soft smile as you floated right up from your seat and waved your hand before making the decision to vanish with a poof in order to bestow even more visions and cause more chaos.

"Don't look for me, I'm going to meet someone," They heard your voice echoing inside their thoughts, and it made them feel even greater animosity towards the person you are talking about.

“We don’t even want to talk about stormterror attack anymore!”

"…sigh. I wanted to listen more of her voice," Lisa grumbled, and Jean feels the same.

“She must’ve felt uncomfortable, she doesn’t want people talking about her after all.” Aether clicked his tongue in displeasure before running out the room with Paimon to find you.

"Just how am I going to explain everything to Diluc?" Kaeya chuckled bitterly as he slumped tiredly in the chair.

Thank the Gods you got away before they could get their paws on you. But it doesn't mean they won't pursue you.

“Woah! The birds are flocking to you!" Timmie talked happily, obviously amazed as he watched you almost completely covered in birds as you leaned on the parapet to watch the water race by.

"They're rather... heavy." You whispered, attempting to remain still while the birds that usually flew away at the sight of people treated you like a tree.

"Oh yeah! You're like God!"

You gave him a small grin as you looked down at him. "What makes you think that?"

“Well, I've heard stories about Lord Barbatos being so close to birds that he'd even fly alongside them! You're exactly like him!”

The birds chirped happily, rubbing their heads against your cheek as if they wanted to be complimented.

You snorted, trying to image Barbatos flying alongside the birds. You could say that your mind created a pretty humorous image.

Venti sat on top of the statue of the Anemo Archon, blushing profusely at what the wind had relayed to him. He's too sober enough to listen to your conversation, and he wishes he'd gone straight to the tavern to get drunk instead of stalking you.

But he wouldn't pass up an opportunity to see you.

"You seem to love pigeons a lot; do you wish to fly with them as well?"

“Yeah… I believe it would be cool, and maybe I'll be able to find daddy..."

You agreed with a little nod, calmly watching the river flow gently while Timmie stares in awe at how the sun rays were focused towards you, creating a lovely scene.

"Who knows, maybe you'll be reunited with your father soon," You spoke while remaining motionless in your position and gazing at the rushing river.

Timmie nodded, little relieved by your remarks. He has always waited, and he will never get tired of waiting.

“Hm?”

“What is it?”

You ignored Timmie as you cast a glance at the gates, sensing that at least four or five individuals were approaching you.

"I'm afraid our little bonding has to come to an end here."

Timmie pouted and mumbled cutely, "But me and my pigeons like you."

You amusedly ruffled his hair as you giggled at his antics.

"How about you come to me when you're lonely?" You smiled as you took his hands in your own and placed a glowing Anemo vision in his palm.

And then maybe when someone tries to hurt your pigeons, you can airbend the shit out of their lungs.

Timmie gaped, his gaze drawn to the vision in his hands and your bright, smiling face. He began stammering, his brain attempting to absorb everything that was happening at the moment.

Oh my god— oh my god— was all he could think of.

“Lady Y/N!” Jean and the others said in unison.

"See you soon," you said quietly, ignoring the people who were approaching you at an incredible pace, giving Timmie one last pat on the head before disappearing to slap someone with a fried egg somewhere else.

Because seriously, why is everyone so clingy to you when it comes to you? Can't a protector have a little peace in their lives?

Timmie stood motionless, a vision in his hands while his mind went haywire.

Daddy, daddy, I think I just met a God!

“Protecto—”

Before they even had a chance to finish their sentence, a fried egg came flying at them at a high rate of speed, and the runny egg yolk came splattering into their face.

You mumbled something under your breath while opening your eyes with a weary expression and blinking several times in an effort to clear the haze from your vision. They just can't seem to give you some space, even if it's just for a moment, can they not? You're literally trying to get some sleep!

The abyss mage who had just been smacked by a fried egg started to emit light as though the curse was in the process of being broken. Something shattered inside of their soul as they shed the last bit of monstrosity that had clung onto them for hundreds of years.

You found a comfortable position on the grass and leaned back against the tree. And off to the side of your vision, you can make out a woman with blond hair who is dressed in white and blue.

You fixed your attention on her, and by the expression on her face, you could see how genuinely surprised she was by what she had witnessed. Her eyes gleamed with much interest and reverence as they locked onto yours.

You immediately felt an inside sigh of frustration when you realize that you’re going to have another traveler who will try to cling onto you.

Lumine suddenly stepped up, and her voice is just as endearing as that of her twin brother.

"It is an honor to meet our savior," she said. It was a display of respect, but you are too sharp to even believe those words. You are their savior, but that does not imply that they are obligated to treat you with the utmost respect.

You responded with a faint hum as you quickly pulled an abyss mage close to you to use as a pillow, unaware to the jealous stares that Lumine was giving you.

“Are you here to meet with your twin?”

“I am not… ready to face him,” Lumine whispered softly while her face distorted into an agonized expression, as if she were thinking back on the times she spent with her twin brother.

"Help him with Dvalin," you said, your cheek resting on the back of your hand. You almost laughed when you saw her slightly frown at you. They were the ones that made Dvalin act like that, thus they should be the ones to clean up their mess.

“But—”

"I'm posing as your twin's guide right now, and if this storm terror problem isn't fixed by the end of the week, how am I meant to leave Mondstadt to search for and save the people of your nation?"

"I absolutely want to retire, sigh..." you mumbled, squeezing the abyss mage's cheeks in frustration.

"I suppose you have a point," Lumine answered, nodding her head in understanding. Maybe she can even take a break and check how her twin brother is doing in this world.

"Wonderful, you finally understand!" You replied enthusiastically, and your smile is so dazzling that Lumine feels like she's staring directly into the sun.

"Then, after cleaning up the mess that Celestia made, the two of you can leave Teyvat and continue on your journey."

“Perhaps after you've completed your journey in this world, I can go get some wine, retire, eh... maybe mingle with the humans and spend time with Venti, and...” You started rambling, not noticing how Lumine's face darkened at your words, suggesting that they should leave this world and continue their journey in another.

And Venti? That Barbatos? Lumine fumed whilst you are clueless that your little floatie had earned another hater.

And what if she refuses to leave? What if she desires to know more about you? What if Aether and her decide to bring you along with them on their journey across the worlds?

Far above in the clouds, the Celestia added another name to one of their most hated lists.

Barbatos

Archons

Travelers

You coughed and paused, embarrassed to disclose your life plans after retiring. Lumine, on the other hand, appears to be listening attentively, as though unconcerned with the fact that you're essentially begging them to leave.

Sighing heavily, you decided to put your plan of slapping them with a fried egg in the back of your mind and work on properly removing their curse.

Lumine kept an eye on you, observing how sincere you've become in your treatment of her allies. As your look became more serious, your hand smoothly glided to touch them without even a trace of revulsion.

Perhaps the unknown God isn’t going to be the one who will trap them in this world this time. Maybe you will be the new reason, and she will willingly stay just to uncover your mystery.

Aether, my twin brother, how about we postpone our journey for a while? Surely you felt the same way when you first met her?

sumimasorry for the late update, I was busy crying over my artifact substat and made a kazuscara ff instead

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bold users can't be tagged, idk why ;m;

well anyways, after this I'm going to hide, make fried eggs, and do my forgotten comms

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blushweddinggowns · 1 year

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Eddie was sulking. He had a bad day at work and his boyfriend was miles away without access to a phone.

He took a sip of his beer, lazily watching the news while bored out of his mind. Maybe subjecting himself to the horrors of the great outdoors would have been worth it after all, even with Robin’s no-sex rule.

He groaned when the phone rang, completely not in the mood to speak to anyone. But their voicemail box was broken, and on the very off chance it was Steve calling to say they were rained out, Eddie didn’t want to miss it.

He picked it up, uncaring for politeness,“Yeah?”

“Eddie? What kind of greeting is that?”

He perked up a little at the sound of Max’s voice. He could make an exception for her, “Sorry Red, crap day.”

“Sucks for you. Hey, um, is Steve there?"

“Nope, he swindled Robin into going camping with him. But he’ll be back Monday.”

"Of course he did," She sighed, voice shaky, “Just, uh, have him call me when he gets home, okay?”

Eddie frowned, alarms already ringing. She sounded weird, not just her usual trademarked annoyance, “Is everything okay down there?”

“Y-yeah. Totally fine.”

“Max, if this is some Upside Down shit-”

“It’s not! It’s…just me shit. And everyone else is gone.”

“What is me shit?” Eddie was getting a bad feeling in his stomach, “I hope you realize if something happened to you and I could have stopped it, I’ll be liable, and then Steve will be forced to kill me-”

“He would never kill you.” She laughed, weak and a little forced, “Seriously, you don’t have to worry, I’m basically fine. ”

“Well I’m not willing to test it. What’s going on?”

She took a deep breath, rallying before admitting the truth, “Ok, ok, um, my mom kinda got arrested?”

Eddie wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but it definitely wasn’t that, “When the hell did that happen?”

“About a week ago? And we, uh, kinda got evicted?”

Eddie pinched the bridge of his nose, taking a deep breath before deciding that Susan Hargrove was going on his list of least favorite people.

Max was stilling talking, rushing in a way that Eddie wasn’t used to, “A-and I know you guys are far away, and I wouldn’t ask normally, really, and if you can’t come I get it, b-but Steve said if I ever needed anything to call and Johnathan took them all to that stupid computer summer camp and Jocye and Hopper are still on their honeymoon and…I-I don’t have anywhere else to go.”

“Where the hell have you been staying?”

She hesitated again, “In my mom’s car?”

Eddie was already on his feet, looking for his keys as he reassured her, “You did the right thing by calling, okay? I’m on my way, but you’re going to my uncle’s house, understand? You’re not going to spend another night in a car.”

“But-”

"But nothing. You’re going to go there, eat, sleep in a real bed, and we’ll leave in the morning. I’ll see you soon."

She agreed without much of a fight, hanging up with a quiet thank you. Behind all of his playfulness and eccentricities, Eddie could be pretty intimidating when needed to be.

He blared music the whole way there, realizing half way through that he was pushing twenty four hours without sleeping. But there were worse things than an impromptu fifteen hour drive to Hawkins in the middle of the night, even if he could barely keep his eyes open or feel his legs by the time he got there.

It was mid-day when he pulled into Wayne’s driveway, and he was not looking forward to doing it all over again. He used his spare key, forgoing a greeting at the sight of his uncle at the kitchen table, opting to profusely thank him instead.

“Where is she?” He asked, after about the fifth round of thanks.

“Asleep,” Wayne offered, “Kid tried to stay up all night waiting for you, but she went down around nine this morning.”

Good, that was good, it would give him some much needed time to sleep. He crashed on their couch, conking out almost instantly. All too soon he was being woken back up, something tickling his face. He wrinkled his nose, swatting at whatever was touching him, but it was persistent. He groaned as light filled his vision, blinking up at the ceiling. He turned, just in time to catch Max going to poke at his cheek again.

The kid looked like shit, like she hadn’t showered or slept in a week.

“Hi,” she said quietly, giving an awkward little wave, like they weren’t inches apart.

“Hi,” Eddie tried, for once feeling completely out of his element as they stared at each other.

The boys he could deal with, they were his own personal band of nerds. Even El was easier, with her straightforward curiosity and Eddie’s penance to talk anyone’s ear off was usually a match made in Heaven, but Max…Max was Steve’s territory.

His self-proclaimed adopted sister, a step ahead of everyone in conversation, quiet but witty, careful but brave, she’d always been a bit of a mystery to Eddie. She was so selective when it came to who she trusted, with him never fully being in or out of her circle of favorites, always on the periphery by his proximity to Steve, her favorite adult.

She was picking at the couch, avoiding Eddie’s eyes when she piped up, “Your uncle’s cool.”

“I know, right?” Eddie sat up, rubbing a hand over his face to wake up faster, “What time is it?”

“Five.”

Shit. They had to leave soon if they were going to get there before Steve, “You ready?”

She nodded, “As I ever will be.”

It was short work packing, she had her skateboard, her walkman, and a single duffle bag, stuffed full. Wayne and Eddie shared a look as they stuffed it all into the back, the scene way too familiar to Eddie’s own meager belongings when he came along.

They thanked Wayne again on the way out, Max even going as far as accepting a hug, bashful but too grateful to refuse. He pulled out of the driveway, sad to say goodbye to his uncle but more than happy to see Hawkins start to disappear in his rearview. No matter how many good memories he had there, how many wonderful people he’d met, something inside of him would always hate that shit hole.

Maybe it was because all the good parts could be taken out.

He glanced over at Max, not quite sure what to say. It was never just them before. Eddie was the one to break the silence first, per usual, “How the fuck did Mike convince El to go to a three month computer camp?"

It was probably the wrong question to ask considering the circumstances, but at least it made her laugh, a real one this time, "That's what I said! God, they’re worse now than when they were dating. They take the best friend thing way too seriously. Almost as bad as Robin and Steve.”

“Hey, rude!” Eddie whined, mock offended on Steve’s behalf, “True but still rude!”

Max laughed. She was picking at a loose thread on her jacket, still smiling a little,“I’m sorry you had to come all the way out here but…thank you for doing it.”

He shrugged, “There are worse things than a nice night drive.”

“I still appreciate it.”

“So…” he trailed off, hesitating before asking what needed to be asked, “Are you going to tell me what happened?"

Max sighed as she stared out the window, like she’d just been waiting for him to say it, “She…got caught for check fraud and identity theft, apparently for a lot of money. She doesn’t even know when her trial date is yet. I thought…” she hesitated, shaking her head, “I don’t know what I thought. I wasn’t thinking. I should have known something was up when things got better out of nowhere.”

“You’re not supposed to be thinking about shit like that. You’re seventeen.”

“Almost eighteen.”

Eddie rolled his eyes,“Oh, you got me. You’re right, everyone knows you get a copy of your parent’s tax records and W-2s and take over the family finances when you come of age ”

She snorted, eyes still staring out the window, but with the smallest hint of a smile on her face.

Eddie cleared his throat, still peeking at her through the corner of his eye, “I’m sorry that uh, Steve isn’t here.”

She shook her head, “No, I’m glad it was you. Since…y’know.”

Eddie nodded, oh too aware of what she meant. Things in Hawkins had gotten pretty fucked up for Steve near the end of their time there. After Steve's parent's found out about them, things had spread pretty fast, rumors finally being confirmed as fact, courtesy of Steve’s piece of shit sperm donor. He’d let the whole world know that he didn’t have a son, paired with a big old speech about parenteral-approved gay bashing. The backlash was even worse than Eddie had expected. Apparently the only thing that town hated then queer freaks was ex-straights.

It had been pretty fucking awful, worse yet that Will had to see it all. The only queer kid in a thirty mile radius had to bear witness to his gay role model being socially crucififed. The experience didn’t scream hopeful future in Indiana. Eddie was glad that he was going back to California for college, especially since he’d have El and Mike with him. Even if it was depressing the rugrats were splitting in two, Eddie was just happy none of them were staying in that hell hole.

Max was biting at her nails, a nervous habit he knew Steve used to bug her about.

“Do you think he’ll let me stay?”

Eddie laughed, “You should be more worried about if he’ll ever let you leave.”

“You think?”

“I’d bet money on it.”

The little smile was getting bigger, “How much?”

“Twenty says he’ll tear up and say something like, ‘Of course you can stay, for as long as you want,’” Eddie did his best emotional Steve voice, the adorable wobbly kind that melted everyone’s heart, loving how it made Max laugh, “Something sappy like that.”

“You’re on!” They shook on it, with Eddie only feeling slightly bad for setting her up on a nearly fixed bet.

It was a long fifteen hours, though Eddie was grateful that Max stayed awake with him the whole time, the drive was so much better with someone to talk to.

“I’m not going to let you be alone for this twice,” she insisted when Eddie asked if she was tired after her fifth yawn. They argued over radio stations and traded blackmailable stories about their friends the whole way home. Eddie’s eyes were bloodshot from exhaustion by the time they got there, Max looking just as bad, but it was worth it.

She was worth it.

She went straight to the couch when Eddie pushed the door open, already familiar with the layout of the place. She plopped down, face face first, almost immediately passing out, obviously still exhausted from her week of homeless hell.

Eddie was just covering her with a blanket when he heard the click of the lock being undone, Steve’s voice not far behind, “Baby, I’m home-”

He rounded the corner, all teasing smiles until his eyes landed on Max, his big eyes widening in shock.

He dragged his gaping boyfriend back into their room and told Steve the whole story, genuinely impressed with himself for not passing out during his speech. Steve forced him into bed at the end of it, kissing him soundly for taking such good care of her, sleep taking him easily.

Eddie woke up slowly, alone in their dark room. He didn’t know how long he slept for, but lord knows he had needed it. He wandered into the living, finding Steve and Max hugging on the couch, catching the tail end of their conversation.

“Of course you can stay, for as long as you want,” Steve was saying, all teary eyed.

Eddie didn’t miss the relieved smile on her face, like there was ever a chance he would have said no. She spotted him over Steve’s shoulder, flipping him off when he mouthed at her, ‘I win.’

“You realize I have no money right?” She whispered to him later that night, freshly showered and finally relaxed, “And I’m starting to think you cheated.”

Eddie laughed, “Manual labor until your debt is paid then. And…define cheating?”

“Whatever weird psychic thing you guys have going on, definitely cheating.”

“It’s called love, thank you very much,” Eddie smiled over at Steve, who was busying himself in the kitchen. He was making dinner, insisting that they both eat something before passing out again. He shooed away all attempts at helping, and for good reason, both of them still looked like sleep deprived nightmares.

It was a good night, all things considered, even if Max and Eddie were still only half awake for most of it. He didn’t really feel back to himself until the next morning, but that’s what driving for more than thirty hours in less than two days did to someone.

He kissed Steve’s hair before leaving him in bed, wandering to the balcony to light up a joint.

It wasn’t long before he could hear Max shuffling around behind him, dialing a number into the kitchen's phone, eavesdropping by way of proximity. Probably Lucas if he had to guess. He tried to zone out a bit, but couldn’t help listening in to the latter half of her conversation.

“Of course everything’s fine,” she lied easily into the receiver, “Nancy offered me an exclusive tour of the campus since I was abandoned by my boyfriend, and Steve and Eddie said I could stay at their place to quell the boredom. My mom’s fine with it.”

Pretty good lie, all things considered.

“Just send the letters here, tell El the same thing. They’ll just get lost at my house. You can call here too, I’ll probably stay through summer, but definitely home before you get back.”

Eddie looked over his shoulder, just able to make out the side of her face at the odd angle. She was smiling, a soft thing that Eddie recognized, the kind of smile that was meant for a singular person, “Then I guess you’ll just have to rewrite it won’t you?”

Eddie forced himself to zone out again, unwilling to listen in on the more intimate bits. It wasn’t long before he heard the click of the receiver and light footsteps strolling his way.

She came up behind him, plopping down next to him with a sigh, “Can I try that?”

Eddie glanced behind him, a little paranoid that Steve was about to catch him in the act of giving drugs to his favorite child, but relented when he couldn’t hear any sounds from their bedroom.

He passed it over, “Just don’t tell your mother.”

Max laughed as she took a hit, a bit too experienced with it in Eddie’s opinion, “What does that make you, the cool dad?”

“Obviously.”

They stared out into the horizon, the sun not quite up yet, but on the way.

“You’re not going to tell him?” Eddie finally asked when she passed it back.

She shook her head, “And rain on the nerd parade? I don’t think so. He's having the time of his life over there.”

“He’s gonna be pissed. They’re all going to be pissed.”

She shrugged, “It won’t be that bad. As long as I omit the car thing, it will be mild.”

They sat in silence, the comfortable kind for once, before she spoke up again, “Are you okay with me staying here?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

She shrugged, “Like…I know you don’t have much space. And I don’t even know for how long I’ll be here. Steve’s fine with it, because he’s Steve, but are you?”

Eddie ruffled her hair, a bit touched that she would even ask, “Of course I don’t mind you being here. We’ll make it work.”

And they did. They ran a curtain through half of their living room, making a makeshift space around Max’s favorite couch, so she could have some semblance of privacy.

It didn’t take long for Robin and Nancy to get involved either, especially since they had the actual two-bedroom apartment. Robin glommed onto Max particularly fast, and two made a chaotic duo of epic proportions.

They converted Nancy’s office, completely ignoring Max’s protests, and got her a real bed. She bounced between their apartments, always sure to be clear on where she was going to end up staying that night. It was stupid, but it still made Eddie preen that she choose their place more often than not. The summer went by fast, faster than Eddie would have ever thought while living with a teenager, but by the time August was coming to a close, there was no good news for Susan Hasgrove.

They still talked over the phone, usually just for Susan to guiltily admit terrible news while apologizing profusely. Susan ended up settling on a plea deal to avoid trial. Two years in prison, maybe less for good behavior, but there was no way she was getting out in time for Max to go back to Hawkins.

Eddie had to give her this, Susan was an absolute fuck up, but she loved her kid, loved her enough to basically beg Steve and Eddie to take her in until college. Like they would ever say no.

School was another matter, but thank Christ for Nancy Wheeler, the walking academic genius. She knew exactly what to do and what to say to the Emerson officials regarding Max’s senior year. She even garnered a deal to get her into an alternative program through the college rather than having to re-enroll in a new highschool. She had explained it all to Eddie once, early admission this, preferred treatment and financial aid that, but it kinda went in one ear and out the other, he was more than happy to just let he handle it.

With the official news, Max couldn’t hide it from the others for much longer, and eventually, they found out on their own. Apparently, they had all planned the opposite of a Welcome Home Party for Max, a Sorry We Left You All Summer For Dork Camp Party. They had a banner and everything, and even came back early to set up, right in the window of Max’s lie of being home, only to find her trailer occupied by a completely different family.

One angry phone call with El and a fifteen hour drive later, Eddie found his living room invaded by a wild pack of seventeen-year olds, all pissed as hell. Max was sandwiched between Lucas and El on the couch, the two more upset that she went through something so terrible without them than mad, while the rest stared up at her from the floor. Steve was settled in Eddie’s lap on their recliner, the two watching the whole exchange warily.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Dustin managed to ask over the incomprehensible noise of them all trying to talk at once, his insanely loud voice finally coming in handy.

Max rubbed a hand over her face, “Would you have left if I told you?”

“Of course!” El and Lucas said in unison, sharing a look like they couldn't believe she would even need to ask.

“Exactly! That was the problem!”

“But you could have stayed with my family!” Mike tried, “Nancy’s room is empty and-”

“And your dad literally hates all of us.”

“But what about us?” Will asked, “We don’t have that much space sure, but we could figure something out.”

“I know you would but I didn’t want- I don’t want…” Max trailed off, struggling to find the words.

"Pity," Eddie finished for her, "She doesn't want to be treated like a stray. And Joyce is a sweetheart, sure, but that’s definitely up her alley."

"And I won’t be here forever,” Max insisted, earnestly looking at Lucas, “Just until college starts, and then I’ll be in the dorms, like we planned."

“But…this is our last year together,” El was tearing up, which was enough to get the whole room to follow suit.

Max hugged her, apologetic but still firm, “I know, and I’m sorry El, really. I just…I don’t want to be in that town anymore. Not after everything. But I’ll call everyday! And write letters too, whatever you want.”

She sniffled, “Everyday?”

“Everyday.”

“And you can all come here to visit her, whenever you want,” Steve added, “Spring break, weekends, whenever.”

The offer was enough to calm them all down, even if there was a sad little air around them their whole visit. They all held Steve on his word though, and Eddie spent the next nine months eventually getting used to finding a gaggle of kids hanging around his apartment every other weekend, but they made it work.

Max missed them all the time, anyone could see that, but she still found a way to enjoy her new life. The adjustment from one absentee parent, to four obsessive ones was oddly smooth. Max was an intensely good kid underneath all that snark, smart as hell too. Eddie had been worried about her getting bored, separated from all the other rugrats, but she was adjustable. It helped when they bought her a guitar for her birthday, a new hobby with a built-in teacher to fill the time between studying, skateboarding, and hogging the phone.

Both he and Steve cried like the emotional idiots they were when they helped her move into her dorm later that year, but they couldn’t help it, the joke of them being parents had just solidified into a reality.

They probably embarrassed her to hell and back during the move, but she never let it show, shedding a few tears herself when the last box was brought up.

She hugged them both on the way out, asking “The good couch is still mine when I spend the night right?”

Steve wiped at his eyes while Eddie ruffled her hair, saying in unison, “Always.”

#future fic #steddie ficlet #steddie fic #Eddie would be a good dad okay #steve harrington #eddie munson #steve is already a good dad this can work #does this work #im getting creative with my scene stealing here #living the unknown dream #max mayfeild #the party #steddie #drabble #the fruity four live in boston and half the kids obvs followed them #tw homophobia #stranger things

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