25. Laser Tag Gone Wrong - The Next Mutation
Let's take a trip to Joe's Laser Funhouse
Some thoughts on "The Good Dragon" (S1E23). I've said before Venus and Raph are besties in this show, and I stand by that, but they also give off baby sister and big brother vibes, especially in this episode. It adds an interesting perspective when they butt heads over Raph being too protective and Venus declaring she doesn't need protecting. This is true; she kicks serious shell, and Raph knows it.
ACTUALLY WAIT, DO YOU KNOW WHAT INTERPRETATION WOULD BE SO MUCH BETTER?? THEY BOTH THINK OF THEMSELF AS THE OLDER SIBLING. This is perfect. Venus was so sad when Leo said they weren't related (part of my list of things to ignore). I swear she wanted to be their mysterious, long-lost sister so bad. So I imagine she gets to New York, meets the guys, and is like, ah yes, four little brothers, how exciting I've always wanted to be a sister. But Raph, who is the protector ever, meets Venus and is like, ay sweet, baby sis acquired. You guys, I'm so big brain for this. Okay, on to the actual episode.
Brief Inexhaustive List of Ignorable Things:
every incorrect use of the term shinobi, forget the word exists in this show it will make your life easier
weird out of sync running sound effects
weirder dragon noises
the dragons do not look like dragons, they look like humans in baggy clothes, green body paint made to look vaguely like scales, and red-eye contacts
on that note Venus' plastron
don't know how I never realised this before, but there's a scene in the opening where Leo's in yellow instead of dark blue??
whatever puns you don't like, it's 70-30 for me on which land or not
My Commentary:
We open at Joe's Laser Funhouse
Raph and Venus are playing laser tag
Raph: "Oh, Venus! I'm coming for you!"
Raph could probably afford to sound a little less serial killer, but that would be boring, actually
R: "Ya mess with the best, ya fall like the rest"
Raph might just be posing
BUT
I choose to believe he is actually the laser tag champ in this version
R: "Raph rocks"
yes, you do, honey, never change
or maybe do because Venus immediately tags him
or not
not sure if she completely missed him from five feet away or if Raph did actually cheat somehow like she insinuates
R: "Want fair? See a judge"
what could you possibly know about the US judicial system
Venus: "This here town ain't big enough for the both of us"
who showed Venus a Western!! I'm not mad, I just wanna talk!!
literally the cutest thing ever
V: "Draw!"
except it's NOT Raph it's a dragon
good thing he's super dramatic and ominously inches his laser closer to Venus so that OTHER dragon can come in and knock him out
you know, the titular Good Dragon
R: "D'you know why they call them dragons? 'Cause they're a major drag"
Raph saves the day with the power of ninjutsu and puns
After two PowerPoint transitions, we arrive at the lair
obligatory Venus getting mad about it Raph rescuing her all the time
R: "Ah, quit being such a weenie, I'd've done it for anyone"
which is not inaccurate
but we know the truth, he just wants to watch his sister's back
proceeds to jack Mikey's food and leave
Quick jump over to the Dragon Lord's Lair
turns out Joe's Laser Funhouse is actually the Good Dragon's hideout
Mikey: "Hey, Raph! What's the mutatious babe up to?"
you know Raph's hovering when folks start asking him what Venus is up to
he is, in fact, just watching her meditate in this scene
yes, Mikey calls her that. no, I don't know why
I've just been reading it as a silly Mikey thing
Back to Joe's Laser Funhouse
can't believe Venus got past Raph to Joe's Laser Funhouse by herself
V: "Good doggie! Sit! Stay!"
Good Dragon v. rabid dog
FIGHT
R: "Ay, yo! Mei Pieh Chi!"
never mind, there he is
comes in a-shoutin', but it's really sweet that he uses her real name!
alternatively, calling her by her legal name for the full big brother effect
R: "Where you hidin', huh?"
she sneaks up on and judo-flips him
why? why not
as far as I remember, Raph is the only turtle Venus consistently chooses violence with
V: "Goo!" R: "Uh, that's boo, Venus" V: "No. When you're packing these it's 'goo'"
excuse you, Raphael, she got that colloquialism wrong on purpose
they are very physical and constantly in each other's faces in this episode, such sibling behavior
oh no, he fell for the classic made you look + mystic goo ball getaway!
R: "I've been psyched out by a peace-loving mutant!"
hilarious because she gets into and out of as many fights as he does
Raph, I hate to break it to you, but you are also a mutant
V: "Being hunted isn't so bad, trust me I know. Sometimes I even enjoy it"
girl, we need to get you some new nemeses and professional help
V: "Gee, Raphael, you see kind of angry"
metaphorically and then literally pokes the beast
see could be little or big sibling behavior, I don't know
R: "Oh, boy"
he says, after getting kicked into a dumpster and dragged away
V: "Raphael's in the trash!"
how she chooses to announce to the lair that Raph has been kicked into a dumpster and dragged away
Leo: "There's no dragon alive that Raph can't wail on"
okay, Leo's faith in him is really sweet
Donnie: "A . . ." L: "B. . ." M: "3. . ." D: "Shouldn't that have been C?"
Donnie, why do you even bother
Splinter: "Teenagers! Ugh, can't get used to them"
Splinter when nobody ever tells him anything
he's like, where are you going? where is my son???
and they just leave
PowerPoint transition to Props Props Props
that's the name of the prop warehouse Raph is being held captive in
Raph is tied up with tinsel and string lights
why would a dragon who likely has no concept of Christmas also put a star on his head?
Did Raph tell him to do it?
who knows, but Raph is very bothered by looking like a Christmas tree, and the Christmas music in the background sells it
R: "There's no shame in, uh, being good"
Raph's attempts at negotiation
unfortunately, said dragon reacts like he's been called a slur
Good Dragon: "You're my only hope . . . I'll sacrifice you to prove my loyalty"
you have been chosen
farewell, Raphael
you go on to a better place
R: "Here's the concept: you untie Raph, Raph will fight, okay?"
everyone just leaves him tied up while they have an epic fight scene
guys, please, he just wants to fight
this is like his third or fourth entreaty to be untied
V: "Merry Mutant Christmas!
as she drives a pair of dragons pulling her around on a sleigh
one is wearing a zebra mask, and the other has a sombrero that she put on them to blind them? I think?
Venus goes ham in this fight
R: "You know, I sorta liked that Good Dragon dude. He wasn't like a dragon. He was more like, uh, like a turtle!"
Raph has two categories: turtles and everyone else
if he decides you're chill, you get to be an honorary turtle
L: "Raph finally makes a friend, and it turns out to be the enemy!"
Leo, don't do him like this
this is like the fourth to last episode, he's made other friends
like Andre and the gorilla
does the baby turtle count?
Raph gets along well with animals
R: "Hey! He wasn't my friend! He was Venus' friend!"
the turtle doth protest too much, methinks
goes to sulk on the couch with his sister
jokes on him, she will not be a reprieve from the mocking
V: "Actually, I think he liked you best" R: "Oh yeah? how's that?" V: "Well, you guys have more in common . . . You're both pig-headed!"
Venus never wastes an opportunity to make fun of Raph
such big sibling energy to me
gets laughed out of the lair and goes for a ride on his . . . hog . . .
All in all, a delightful episode. Love the new insights I had about Venus and Raph's relationship. Laser tag gone wrong in the funniest way possible.
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Bonus: memes for Splinter in these trying times.
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