#they are not a legitimate state to deserve a trial but at least do something different other than entertain logical fallacies

[ember-knights]

Opening the ICJ hearing and the first word is “KHAMAS”

Apparently, if you are against Israel you are “Khamas”

Brb im moving to Khamas-South Africa.

#palestine #what a fucking joke #they are not a legitimate state to deserve a trial but at least do something different other than entertain logical fallacies #fuck israel #ember.txt

[ms-demeanor]

While I love the theory of the depression post, the cause of my depression is my own ugliness and inadequacy. And alas no amount of small external things ever distract me from having to see myself be myself, feel myself, every moment. It just shows other things are better than me, once again.

Okay but what if your brain is lying to you about that.

Did someone sit with you and examine your life and all your actions at some point saying “yep, anon is totally inadequate, doesn’t measure up to standards 21-a through 47-m of being a person, that’s where the depression is coming from” or is that a thing that your brain has told you?

Because depression brain lies.

You exist. You’re a person with a presence in the world. That is adequate. You are reaching out and making contact with people. That is adequate.

Depression brain likes to tell us that we’re failures, that we haven’t ticked the right boxes or finished all the projects that we meant to, or that we’ve let down all our friends and family and are failures, irredeemable, intolerable, inadequate failures.

But. Like. Your brain is an asshole and its checklist of what you have to do to be “adequate” is completely impossible and you can never measure up to it so. Don’t? You really don’t have to? Just being here and existing as a person in the world is a good enough reason to want to exist without pain and misery.

It’s impossible to fail enough as a person that you DESERVE to feel this way, so it’s okay to take steps to feel better, even if they seem stupid and silly and like they won’t work because your depression is just a PART of you and you’ll NEVER FEEL BETTER and you SHOULD feel like this because you’re a BAD PERSON. (All of those all caps words are lies that depression brain tells a lot of us. They’re not true for me, I’m guessing they’re not true for you either because I honestly and legitimately believe that they’re not true for any human beings and unless you’re about to tell me some really cool facts about the universe then you’re a human being and you don’t deserve to feel like this, couldn’t do anything to deserve to feel like this)

Now, let’s talk about ugliness.

Physical appearances are totally immaterial and have no bearing on your worth or value as a person and if people treat you badly for being physically ugly those people fucking suck and you don’t have to pay attention to them. They and their shitty opinions are not your problem.

BUT if you’re talking about emotional/mental ugliness, well, that’s a thing that depressed people often deal with.

We’ve got a lot of ugly thoughts, sometimes we think cruel things about others as well as ourselves. Sometimes we end up being unpleasant to be around; sometimes we even end up manipulating other people and that’s certainly not a good thing.

But there’s a difference between having ugly thoughts and ugly emotions and being a bad, cruel, or unpleasant person.

It’s okay to think ugly things. You’re probably never going to stop doing that and without a lot of practice you’re going to reach for ugly reactions as the first response to anything that upsets you.

This is an excellent reason to learn to recognize and articulate your feelings and to take responsibility for how they impact other people.

Because here’s the thing, being a “bad person” internally doesn’t really matter (I mean, it matters in the long-term context of your ongoing mental health but that is a problem for someone who is not in deep crisis mode to grapple with) so long as it doesn’t impact other people.

But, okay, let’s say you’re right and your depression is caused by the fact that you’re an inadequate, ugly person.

Over time writing down good things that you enjoy will STILL prevent you from dropping into depressive spirals and will still provide evidence that you’re capable of experiencing positive emotions.

Even if there’s a “legitimate” reason for your depression there’s no reason to make it worse and it’s not cheating on the universe if you take steps to alleviate the symptoms.

Also, tip for people who have issues with feeling inadequate:

Don’t just write down things that make you feel good, write down when YOU do a good thing.

Were you there for a friend? Did you help your sibling with homework? Did you offer to pick up groceries for your neighbor? Did you volunteer for the Trevor Project? Did you finish writing a paper? Did you update a fanwiki?

WRITE IT DOWN WHEN YOU MAKE AN IMPACT ON THE WORLD. Write it down when you do something that makes someone else’s day easier, write it down when you finish a project, write it down when you do favors for people.

You don’t have to, like, go out and BRAG about these things, but when your depression brain is saying “hey you’re a shithead who has never finished anything and never helped anyone” then you can go “bullSHIT I helped that guy who needed a jump last week, and two weeks ago I finished my midterms.”

I have complicated feelings about this because I think the definition of “worth” our society imposes on people is harmful - “You are worth more than your productivity” is genuinely the most helpful thing that anyone has ever said to me and was actually life-changing - but there’s still value in being able to point to the world and go “I did that and it mattered” and, yeah. That song you wrote mattered. Picking up your mom’s medicine from the pharmacy mattered. Giving cash to someone who needed it mattered. You have value in the world and it’s okay to write down the valuable things to do to use them as evidence in the bullshit show trial your brain is setting you up to fail.

Also.

So what if things are better than you.

There are worse things than you too.

Write a list of the things that you are better than.

“I am better than every single employee of ICE.”

“I am better than that girl who built a career off of carrying a gun at Kent State.”

“I am better than literal dogshit and even literal dogshit is an important part of the local ecosystem so at least I’ve got that going for me.”

Like, yeah, I am *NOWHERE NEAR AS GOOD* as evidence that the moon is wet, but I’m better than cities that fund school resource officers.

ALSO ALSO

This specific type of negative thinking, the “your advice about depression is very good but it doesn’t apply to me because I’m a special category of unrecoverable awfulness” is a very, very common symptom of untreated, unmanaged depression. It is similar to the “your advice about depression is very good but doesn’t apply to me specifically because I have [x] barrier that prevents me from writing a journal of positive thoughts” negativity.

We’re all unique and special buds, but you ain’t special in that way.

Pick up a blank piece of paper and write about a meme you liked. Do the same thing tomorrow. Do the same thing the day after that. Do the same thing forever.

For some people it doesn’t get better, but you do get better at managing it.

Good luck, buds.

[xoxo-ren-xoxo]

Tommy’s (and Tubbo’s) Character /rp /dSMP

This is a bit of a rant so like be warned. I have nothing against any CCs mentioned in this, this is all roleplay, lighthearted, and just a bit of fun analysis. Mostly this is a ramble about how I see certain people analysing Tommy’s character on tumblr and twt, and why I think they’re wrong. This isn’t directed at anyone specific, just a trend I’ve been seeing that kinda irks me. I don’t dislike the fandom, just a few ‘takes’ have been really weird for me.

TW for everything below: analysing the effects of trauma, abuse, manipulation, gaslighting, and lack of therapy.

I’m not really liking how victim-blamey everyone is getting currently in the dSMP, both in fandom and canon. In canon with certain characters but especially in fan analysis posts and especially about Tommy and Tubbo. People legitimately celebrating that Tommy might start ‘apologising’ for his actions more and 'growing as a person' somehow don’t realise that hes been made this way through a tonne of negative reinforcement. abuse, and gaslighting. And people blaming Tubbo for actions he had no choice in, rather than the actions he did choose.

Currently, as I see it, Tommy is so scared that anyone would find a reason to be pissed off at him that his fighting spirit has been completely crushed. He was exiled and abused when he should have been helped and given an understanding figure to guide him and teach him how to deal with things non-violently. In everyone’s eyes, the problem was that Tommy was creating violence with no real reason, acting recklessly and commiting crimes. Tubbo, having made him a part of his cabinet, knew that this would only harm the country. So instead of talking to him reasonably, he got angry, put him on trial, and punished him with the logbook (humiliating him by making him report back to Fundy, which he obviously hated). Tommy’s actions were, of course, bad, but did he deserve everyone ganging up on him? No. Especially when Tubbo was supposed to be in his corner, helping him out like he always said he would (”It’s me and you vs Dream” etc). This is the first betrayal of trust from Tommy’s POV. He doesn’t understand what he did wrong to its full extent, and no one can explain it to him. 

However, Tubbo was under a lot of pressure from Dream and George, and he’s a literal child President, so his ‘safety over friendship’ actions are understandable. I don’t believe Tubbo is solely to blame for anything he’s done in season 2, but it can’t all be excused. If you are to blame Tommy for his recklessness, you have to blame Tubbo, at least partially, for his disregard for Tommy’s feelings and mental state. There were other ways to go about the entire thing, including the trial, which was just horrible to watch, and agreeing to give Dream the disc, something Tommy gave him in pure confidence that it would be safe with Tubbo. Yikes moment.

At that time, Tubbo knew a lot of things about Tommy. In fact, he probably knew the most about Tommy out of anyone on the server. He knew the discs were incredibly important and a comfort item for Tommy. He knew Tommy had trauma from being exiled in the past. He knew Tommy was abused, or at least manipulated by Wilbur, in addition to growing up in war. Wilbur once told Tommy to stop being reckless, and Tommy listened, changing his attitude because he looked up to Wilbur so much. Then Wilbur said ‘let’s be the bad guys’ and stopped trying to mentor Tommy. There’s a conflict here, because Tommy was told by Wilbur that he wasn’t good enough to be President (links to the idea of ‘not being strong enough’) but he knows that Wilbur was a bad person. But Tommy is never given the chance to reconsile his feelings surrounding Wilbur, both because of Ghostbur and because of the conflict he starts with George. So he is harbouring a mixture of emotions about his mentor and brother, not understanding how to untangle the ‘real Tommy’ from the manipulated boy he became. 

What was going through his head when he stole from George and griefed him? Perhaps the thought that he needed to show he was still the same old Tommy. Maybe the need to ‘prove himself’ as a strong person? It could have just been an outlet for his trauma. He’s grown up in a world where everyone is either a friend or an enemy. George isn’t a friend. How was he supposed to know that hurting him was bad?

Tubbo was pressured into the actions he took against Tommy, but he was pressured far too easily. There is no moment where Tubbo turns to Tommy and makes sure he’s okay, he views him as ‘selfish’ and overdramatic, and sees his actions that way. This makes sense from Tubbo’s POV, he’s struggling to be President in ways that Wilbur *knew* he would, but in Tommy’s eyes this is the worst betrayal he’s ever known. The moment Tubbo (rightfully, but poorly executed) defies Tommy’s plan to hire Technoblade (ahem, seeing Techno as a weapon again) and exiles Tommy is the moment their friendship shatters. They’re two people who don’t understand each other anymore. Two people who are technically in the right, but only hurt each other. 

What Tommy needed was a therapist, instead he had Dream, who put out the fire of rebellion that made him so strong, and Techno, who was trying to help but doing it in the wrong way. 

People see tommy's change post-exile as a good thing because he's not as rebellious anymore and he’s thinking things through a lot before he does them, but they will soon realise that his rebellion was one of his best traits and the fact that no one saw it as anything but a problem really shows. He now second-guesses himself so much and is so scared of being wrong that everything seems too difficult and too dangerous. Every trait can have a positive and negative side. Tommy's defiant nature would have made him the perfect negotiator with a little practise. In fact, he had plenty of good ideas before he was exiled (using spirit against Dream, though it didnt work in the end, for example). The negative side of this was recklessness and the desire to cause problems on purpose, but what he needed was a friend (looking at you Tubbo) who understood that hes been through several wars, was manipulated by Wilbur, and hasnt known a time of peace where everyone who wasnt on his side was out to kill him. Now that ‘fight’ is gone he's just become easier to manipulate.

He may be getting better (see: telling Dream to go fuck himself) but there hasn't been any long-term growth because he was never told what kind of rebellion was good and what was bad. He was just told it was all bad. By Dream (and by Tubbo). Who he doesn't trust. So he's just going to revert back to his old ways because no one told him what was bad in a way that didn't make him feel like everyone was against him. Dream is the enemy (though Tommy’s feelings towards him are complicated, they make his brain go all ‘flippy floppy’) and Dream told him that rebellion was bad, so rebellion must be good always, right? 

And then there's Techno. Techno did nothing wrong except for when he did. Techno is 100% right except for when he isn’t. He doesn't understand Tommy because Tommy was never fully open about what Dream had done and how it affected him. That's not Tommys fault though, because who the fuck openly talks about their trauma? So neither of them are to blame for pretty much anything up until the confrontation at the community house. 

However, Techno's methods and ideology were not what Tommy needed. He was thrown from one extreme to another over and over again, from complete subservience to total rebellion. Neither of these inforce good attitudes in Tommy. One, as stated before, makes it so that he will regain his negative traits again. The other reinforces those violent traits as good, just like Wilbur did. The only difference is that Techno had good intentions, he wasnt trying to use Tommy, which is why he feels so used when Tommy 'betrays' him (Techno doesnt realise that he himself betrayed Tommy by teaming with Dream, he sees it more as a transaction than a personal thing). Techno feels so hurt by Tommy ‘viewing him as a weapon’ that he goes on with his no-mercy attack, completely dropping Tommy at his lowest point. 

Tommy says he doesn't want to be like everyone he's hated. In fact, he say's he is 'worse' than all the villains. This is very obviously untrue, though he was clearly going down a dangerous path with Techno's influence (see: bullying Fundy, spawning wither, kidnapping Connor, and saying that the discs are more important than Tubbo, more on that later). He's not a villain but who exactly has said he's not a villain. Dream? Techno? Neither of them can be trusted in his eyes. They say he's a good guy, Wilbur wanted to be the bad guy, who's right? He doesn't know. He has a crisis of morality. 

And? Some people want to point at that and say 'aha! Character development! He's finally realising his actions have a negative affect on others!' OH GOD NO??? He's a *child* who thinks that he is worse than his abuser. Does that sound like positive character growth to you? 

Lastly, the discs. We know theyre a comfort item blahblahblah. He hates himself for valuing them more than he values Tubbo. He's literally innocent in this. He’s been horribly manipulated by Dream to believe that the discs are worth anything. Theyre really not worth anything if they are being used as tools rather than, yknow, discs. My poor boy. He doesnt trust people, so what can he trust? The discs. But then he says it out loud and realises he misses Tubbo and he wants to be with his best friend again and and and WAHHHH. This also isnt really character growth its just fucking sad leave me alone. 

Anyways what the fuck guys. @ Niki and Jack what the fuck. Yeah we get it it’s miscommunication but wtf. Kinda worried that the actual lore will make Niki and Jack’s hatred of Tommy justified in some way and take on a big victim-blamey vibe, but I’m hoping that everyone is smart enough to not do that. I cannot praise Tommy enough for how he’s portrayed his character. I’m currently hoping that he himself understands the true complexity of it all. I’m sure he does.

Mostly though im actually pissed off at all the people praising tommy's character for 'maturing' when hes literally just got trauma. Nice one, tumblr and twt users. Thanks. Great job. He hasnt 'learnt his lesson', he’s traumatised. What the fuck.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk, leave your responses in the reblogs and comments.

#dreamsmp #dream smp #character analysis #dreamsmp analysis #analysis #critical #tommyinnit #tubbo #dream #technoblade #wilbur soot #tw trauma #tw abuse #tw gaslighting #tw manipulation

[sepublic]

Eda the Beast

           Well, a horrible thought just came into my head- But imagine Eda transforming into an Owl Beast the first few times, the first few years into her curse. And in addition to all of the horrible stuff she must’ve gone through… Imagine her turning into an Owl Beast and getting out into public; Being mistaken for just a regular beast, and having Animal Control called on her! Imagine Animal Control abusing and mistreating Eda not as an actual person but as a creature, throwing her into a cage, locking her up… Imagine Eda reverting back inside a cage, scared and traumatized... Terrified by the other animals, especially if she’s put into the same room as some! And then they get harsh towards her, and Eda retains injuries from her time as an Owl Beast, having no idea what happened or what’s going on with her…

          Imagine Eda having to deal with almost being put down, or captured and sold to some zoo, or Lilith having to rescue her! Imagine Eda recognizing her situation, dimly, and desperately trying to convey that she is a PERSON, not a pet, not a wild animal to be euthanized or experimented on… Imagine some bullies at school, snidely telling Eda that her sleeves should be orange like her hair; Because an animal like her would surely recognize other creatures and be a wonderful Beastkeeper! And any time she does well with beastkeeping magic, this kind of snide remark of, “Of COURSE the Monster Girl knows beasts well!” is made, discouraging Eda and making her feel self-conscious about her skill there, until she just straight-up forgoes beastkeeping magic, with it ruined for her… And don’t consider bullies sneering and suggesting that Eda could be ‘tamed’ with beastkeeping magic, as the animal she really is! Maybe a few bullies from the beastkeeping track try to pull a cruel prank- And of course Eda still wrecks them, but still.

          It’d be so humiliating, dehumanizing, and really reinforce Eda’s insistence on being free and not beholden to anyone, least of all Belos…! Maybe it’d give new background to Eda being King’s friend, because she actually sort of gets and understands that feeling of being treated like a mindless animal to own or do away with, and not as a legitimate person. King wouldn’t know how Eda understands, he wasn’t aware of the curse until rather recently- So then it just leads to him wondering why this random Owl Lady is so considerate, what could she POSSIBLY know about his situation?! Perhaps Eda ends up feeling sympathy for some animals and creatures who are abused, because like it or not, they were right to an extent- Being cursed DID give her some perspective on what it’s like for beasts, and grant some very involuntary and dehumanizing solidarity with them.

          Maybe people compare Eda to the Greater Basilisk or whatever, as a monster pretending to be a witch, rather than a witch who sometimes turns into an Owl Beast… And how Eda might get mistreated; The apprehension and distrust towards Demon Hunters, of being killed and maybe even chopped up and eaten by them… Objectified and treated like some exotic piece of meat, or some rare pet to own?! The idea makes me sick. Especially since we’ve seen basically what I’ve described almost happen in Escape of the Palisman… And then King taking advantage of Eda’s cursed state in that episode could’ve come across as a real betrayal to her. But on the other hand, King still tried to treat her with some respect, and you can argue that he tends to command and boss around actual people too, so the treatment may not be all that different; Still, it was NOT a good thing, but at least King apologized and legit changed his behavior.

          I can see a lot of people who captured Eda realizing their mistake, but then blaming Eda for ‘tricking’ them or whatever! That kind of victim-blaming and gaslighting would really force Eda to affirm her self-confidence, while recognizing her dignity and where she’s been unjustly insulted and hurt, and to step up for herself- Especially after her and Lilith grew more distant, she really had to learn to handle the curse on her own, and probably with Hooty and Owlbert’s help. Thankfully, I can see Hooty being VERY adept at handling Owl Beast Eda… Then again, she DOES attack and disable him in The Intruder; So maybe not.

          Maybe he was just caught by surprise, maybe Owl Beast Eda still attacked Hooty, because he’s just THAT aggravating, y’know? Maybe his voice is really irritating to OBE, so while he has the force to handle Eda, he doesn’t have enough of that sisterly, soothing reassurance that Lilith did. Also, Hooty may have been made a while into Eda’s curse, when she’d already figured out how to handle it with elixirs and not transform as often, whereas Lilith would’ve been alongside her for most of the trial-and-error. Regardless, Hooty is recognized, but he hasn’t done much to earn Owl Beast Eda’s love and affection, either…

           Still- Let’s not imagine Owl Beast Eda having to go through the dehumanizing fear of being hunted at night, shall we? Let’s not think of some crowd or vigilantes trying to track down Owl Beast Eda into the woods, or worse- Some people try to lynch her! Of course Eda as a witch could protect herself and even kill in self-defense, but as an Owl Beast, not so much… A lot of bias and prejudice could lead to people doubting if Eda was acting in self-defense, or if she was just giving in to her ‘primal urges’ as a violent, savage beast. Don’t imagine Eda having to be REALLY mindful of how she acts or fights, until eventually she goes screw it, I’m rightfully defending myself and I’m a recluse criminal anyway… And really, I can see this kind of prejudice contributing to her being a recluse, alas. Possibly to get away from the torment, and also to protect herself- And maybe OTHERS, in Eda’s mind…

          And it just leads to this idea in her head of separating from others to protect them, which culminates in the Season Finale when Eda tells Luz to abandon her to her petrification- Until Luz very much teaches Eda that she helps and heals and doesn’t hurt, by fighting on, while Lilith’s change of heart no doubt means a lot to Eda and impacts her- As does the crowd’s protest for her freedom. I imagine some people in the crowd recognized that there was a divide between Eda and her Owl Beast form- Or at the very least, this wasn’t something she could control and not something she should be killed for, especially if she can handle it with elixirs. A lot of people likely recognized that Owl Beast Eda’s threat to them was being greatly exaggerated, both by local rumors and the Emperor’s Coven. And that teaches Eda that people aren’t scared of her- Or at least, not enough to let her be executed, which means a lot because it shows that others also recognize the worth and rights of others, even if they don’t like that person.

           Did Eda feel self-conscious, about people being afraid of her? And how she handled this in trying to sell things to people; How they eventually realized over the years that despite being a criminal, she hadn’t really hurt anyone who didn’t have it coming? Amidst enjoyment of her wares, Morton appreciating her business… Still, after that brief scene in Grom, I can see some kids regarding Eda with fear as the accursed Owl Beast, and it ends up REALLY getting to her, because the opinions of children tend to feel way more substantial than that of adults. Maybe Eda was a little hurt on the inside when Luz ran away from her in fear, because Eda didn’t immediately recognize that Luz was just a human and everyone in the Boiling Isles is scary to her- So it means a lot when Luz calms down and recognizes Eda as not a monster…

          And even when Eda DOES turn into a monster, Luz still acts to incapacitate Eda, not kill or escape her; And Luz doesn’t even bat an eye at Eda when she wakes up. Obviously she was also focused on her first spell, but still! Her medical encouragement and tips towards Eda show that this is something that Luz has normalized, thanks to her open mind and influence from Camila; So it no doubt helps Eda REALLY feel like a person, and feel like normal in the proper way… Not in that conforming manner, but in the “Yes you deserve to live you are not an abomination nor a freak, you are VALID” manner. I’m just imagining Eda having once worried about looking scary to people, questioning her own appearance… And that leads to her learning to REALLY appreciate how she looks, and love her body, reclaim it on her own terms and not let others define it for Eda!

          Maybe she had a phase where she tried to look more approachable, or changed herself up so people wouldn’t recognize her as the Owl Beast, before Eda just went screw it and fully embraced the Owl Lady aesthetic! Eda wouldn’t let anyone ruin anything for her, so after a period of avoiding beastkeeping magic, for fear that she’s validating and proving the insults that others say- As the feral Owl Lady, she embraces those kinds of spells as well! And I can see her even playing into that fear and apprehension by others, turning it against them- With Eda seeing a bully make a cruel remark about her being an animal or an infectious werewolf, before she bares her teeth and suggests that she really IS; Scaring off her bullies as Eda plays her own messed-up pranks that relate to her status as the Owl Lady.

#the owl house #owl house #the owl house eda #edalyn clawthorne #the owl house king #the owl house luz #luz noceda #angst #meta

[the-kiwi-is-not-a-pewee]

Emmy.

This is a callout post about discord user emmy, known for now as @eurydices-flower on tumblr, and her nasty behavior regarding her joining and then leaving a specific Riordanverse fan discord server. I don’t usually make callout posts but this needs to be addressed since she has vagueposted about my friends and been rude to them over DMs. I don’t believe she should be allowed to run around and make accusations, especially with people not able to find part of the story due to it being over private messages. So, with the permission of the friend whom she sent DMs to, I will outline her brief stay in the server and the aftermath.

It’s time you heard our side of the story.

Emmy (which is how I will be referring to her for the duration of this post), joined the Trials of Apollo (ToA) server on July 6th, 2020.

For the sake of chronicling how we know that she is also @eurydices-flower on tumblr, she says as much in her self-introduction in the #introduction channel of the server.

Emmy was in the server for less than 24 hours, before leaving voluntarily with seemingly no explanation. Naturally, we were confused and one of our own reached out to emmy on her tumblr blog to ask why she left. I blacked out the profile picture and url of my friend’s blog for the sake of their own privacy.

Let us go over this, piece by piece.

“yeah i’m alright i just realized constant negativity wasn’t rlly my game at the moment and i don’t necessarily have the headspace to ever deal with that.”

That is fair, she is encouraged to look after herself and her own mental state first. If she felt like leaving was the best course of action to take for the sake of herself, then she should not be judged for that. And it’d be perfectly fine if she left it at that! But, of course, I wouldn’t be making this post if she did.

“everyone’s entitled to be everyones own opinion but to bash other people you don’t even know for having opinions was too much for me to handle. a lot of those blogs are good friends of mine and it truly is disrespectful to harp on anyone for having different opinions but go around and spread negativity when others don’t agree with with that opinion.”

Regarding the first part, “everyone’s entitled to be everyones own opinion but to bash other people you don’t even know for having opinions was too much for me to handle”, there’s nothing wrong with this statement as it is on the surface-level. She is expressing that she personally does not want to partake in that particular kind of discourse. That is fine, she is not obligated to in any way, shape, or form. Though I do have a comment or three about the statement before we move on.

She could have muted the specific channel where that kind of discourse was taking place, which as far as I’m aware she never did. The ToA server has 2 specific channels for pjo discourse because members were uncomfortable with it being spread sporadically throughout the server, thus those two channels were made to contain discourse. If she was truly made uncomfortable by what she stated, she could have rectified that problem herself instead of leaving. But, after all, it was her choice to make in the end.

“but to bash other people you don’t even know for having opinions was too much for me to handle”Uh, welcome to tumblr Emmy? I don’t know if Emmy meticulously vets her tumblr experience so that she literally never encounters people bashing other people they don’t even know for their opinions, but it makes it a rather ironic statement considering tumblr’s reputation and that she has a tumblr blog. Heck, it’s not even unique to tumblr, it’s more of a social media thing. I can only postulate that maybe it made her more uncomfortable in a more confined and private space like a discord server, but I cannot be sure. Given she joined at the height of the Ace! Reyna discourse and the “opinions” she’s referring to are likely the aphobic rhetoric spouted by people who were astonishingly upset that Reyna was not a lesbian, I personally am rather uncomfortable that she dumbed it down as if it were merely “having an opinion” and not an attempt to invalidate ace representation in a mainstream media book series just because they were upset that they hadn’t gotten exactly what they wanted.

She retrospectively made herself a hypocrite. I’ll put a pin in this for now and we’ll come back to it.

“A lot of those blogs are good friends of mine and it truly is disrespectful to harp on anyone for having different opinions but go around and spread negativity when others don’t agree with that opinion.”

There’s quite a bit to unpack here just in this one sentence. First of all, no one in the server knew she was acquainted with any of the blogs we were discoursing about. She never stated such at any point prior to this point. We didn’t know, and thus we could not even consider accommodating her before she left in this regard.

I’ve already expressed my own views on her dumbing down people spouting aphobic rhetoric to them merely having “different opinions”, but the server was not “spreading negativity” unless you define “negativity” as calling out people for their aphobic rhetoric and frankly disrespectful treatment of Reyna as a character as a whole. It’s not as beautiful and simple as “others don’t agree with that opinion” when said opinion promotes aphobia and tries to claim that lesbian Reyna somehow cannot peacefully coexist with asexual Reyna.

“I mean no disrespect to anyone in that server when saying that or this but i just truly hope you all emotionally grow as people one day and learn to be more respectful <3 <3”

This… whole line has the basic energy of “No offense but *proceeds to say something offensive*”. Emmy basically went, “I mean no disrespect but *proceeds to say something disrespectful*”. It’s especially rude that she told us that she hopes we “all emotionally grow as people one day and learn to be more respectful <3 <3” when she was the one that came into the server in the first place. Furthermore none of us owe our respect to the people that got so mad over a fictional character not being exactly what they wanted that they have to belittle and attempt to downplay ace representation. It’s not Emmy’s place to tell us to “emotionally grow” and “learn to be more respectful”, especially when in the aftermath she doesn’t put her money where her mouth is.

“Blacked out user: Ah I see. If I may ask, what differing opinion were you being bashed for?

Emmy: not me personally but to see the rr crit circus chat (Note: one of the discourse channels) filled with other people doing it to people not even IN the chat was what bugged me”

Has emmy never been in a discord server with a discourse channel? This is a legitimate question, because this is not behavior unique to the ToA server. All of the servers I’ve seen with channels specifically for discourse have done this. This isn’t some kind of uniquely shitty thing that the ToA server does that we should be morally ashamed of, especially when something similar goes on with people on tumblr posting screenshots of tweets.

“but also when i entered and said i didn’t have opinions on litpollo or medea and i was immediately kinda made fun of for it didn’t make me feel good, as well as saying i was ace and ppl going “oMG the LESBOPhObIa. again i hope y’all just grow emotionally and mentally <3”

Here’s what happened (different colored bars mean different users):

Now, despite the fact that the “r u human” in response to Emmy saying she doesn’t ship litpollo and the “i bet u r not ace u r just LESBWEEN CODED” are jokes, I do understand why those statements made Emmy uncomfortable. Emmy was a newcomer and not acclimated to the sense of humor of the server and to basically shove her the butt end of it was not fair to her. The latter joke especially would be difficult to swallow if Emmy didn’t know that an inside joke of the server at the time was mocking the people who insisted that making Reyna ace was a lesophobic act on Rick’s part despite Trials of Apollo as a series having three lesbian major characters (Emmie, Jo, and Lavinia). 

In simple terms, I agree with my friend’s reply and the apology they gave on the server’s behalf. Emmy did deserve that apology. Doesn’t make the “i hope y’all just grow emotionally and mentally <3” any less rude or unwarranted though.

As far as any of us were aware, this was the end of it. Emmy was a bit rude but we had our closure and as far as any of us knew the ToA server and Emmy had parted ways. And then this happened.

This post has since been deleted by Emmy herself, but before it disappeared it was archived by myself and other friends reblogging to respond to it.

It doesn’t name myself or any of my friends directly, but since we were quite vocal about calling people out for their aphobia when Reyna was revealed to be ace, it is assumed we were the target of the post or are at least part of the group that is the target for the post. If it is indeed the former it seems Emmy is vagueposting about us. Even if it’s not specifically about us, it’s not a good look for Emmy. Let’s parse this apart.

“funny how the people yelling aphobia when it came to Reyna were dead silent today when Rick went on twitter and was blatantly racist and disrespectful”

There’s several reasons why people weren’t addressing Rick’s tweets that day. Some of us don’t use twitter/don’t follow Rick on twitter. Some of us don’t check the #rickriordan tag or other tags like it. Some of us have other main fandoms that are not pjo. Some of us don’t follow blogs that reblogged the tweets and the responses to the tweets, or hadn’t reblogged them yet. Some of us might want to first watch the responses to the tweets because we are not Cherokee, Muslim, or educated enough about those topics beforehand and not dig ourselves into a hole. Just saying, just because we didn’t give an immediate response doesn’t mean we didn’t care.

“funny how they only care about representation when it applies to them and them alone”

Does Emmy know that plenty of non-ace people were defending ace Reyna? If she wants an example, I’m a bisexual woman and I’ve been vocal in my defense of ace Reyna. So her logic that “they only cared when the rep applied to them and them alone” falls apart.

“funny how they only cared Reyna was ace because it gave them the opportunity to harrass the lesbians who were hurting”

I don’t condone harassment but calling them out for their aphobic behavior was not harassment. They couldn’t express their hurt without belittling asexual representation and lacking so much self-awareness that they couldn’t realize how aphobic they were being. I’m sorry that they don’t have my respect for that- actually, you know what, I’m not sorry for it. They literally chained themselves to the concept of Lesbian Reyna and would not accept anything else, that’s their own fault. Just because you’re hurt doesn’t give you the excuse to be an asshole to other LGBTQ+ people that did get representation.

"it’s almost,,, almost like you don’t actually care about these characters or color! that you just want the opportunity to clown and be bullies and abusive”

This is a very rich statement considering those “hurting lesbians” she referred to didn’t care about Reyna as a character. They only cared about Lesbian Reyna and nothing else. Some of them mixed up ace and aro showing stunning ignorance on the difference between asexuality and aromance. And now they’re playing victim because they got called out.

“if you want marginalized groups like asexuals to be represented, where’s your energy for pipers representation and characterization? samirah? where’d it go?”

Heroes of Olympus has been out for years. There have already been posts on tumblr before detailing the flaws in how Rick wrote Samirah and Piper, it’s not a new phenomenon. It just had a resurgence recently. Heroes of Olympus is old news so it’s not as fresh and hot as it was when it first came out so of course while discussions over the representation in it are still going on it has mostly calmed down until recently.

“i see you. i’m watching you. you said nothing. not a single word. not even a messy reblog of one (1) post about piper or sam. dead. Silence.”

Emmy gets a little creepy here and slightly stalkery. She doesn’t like us yet she’s watching our blogs? I guess the Blog Police is here. If you don’t reblog discourse posts about how Samirah and Piper were represented you’ll be arrested and pegged as a racist.

No one is obligated to reblog posts about Samirah and Piper. It’s not reflective of their feelings towards Piper and Sam. it’s THEIR blog and they are not obligated to reblog what others want them to. I hate to break it to Emmy but she can’t force people to reblog the stuff she wants to see.

“i don’t care if you think you ‘shouldn’t have a voice in this’ bc ur white or smth. there’s a difference between spreading posts about this terrible situation and trying to butt in with ‘i’m white but here’s my opinion’“

And here we finally circle back to the retroactive hypocrite point I put a pin in earlier. Here’s a refresher: “everyone’s entitled to be everyones own opinion but to bash other people you don’t even know for having opinions was too much for me to handle. a lot of those blogs are good friends of mine and it truly is disrespectful to harp on anyone for having different opinions but go around and spread negativity when others don’t agree with with that opinion.”

And yet she bashes people she doesn’t know and spreads negativity for… possibly having a different opinion than the ones going around right now or not interacting with it for their own personal reasons. Also not everyone who didn’t immediately jump on the Samirah/Piper rep analysis reblogs were white. Assuming people are white will eventually bite you on the ass.

After that post, she continued vagueposting on her own blog.

I seriously doubt she was sent an anonymous death threat because a friend of mine checked her account earlier that same morning she made that post and the Anon feature was turned off. Then, in the evening, she posted about having an Anonymous death threat sent to her without any proof. I’m not saying it’s not possible nor do I condone death threats, but I do have reason to disbelieve her.

IF she is still referring to her brief stay in the ToA server as that “scenario”, then she neglects to say that she did not tell anyone that she was uncomfortable until after she left. We are not mindreaders, we cannot tell when every single person we talk to is uncomfortable. So it can at least partially be held against you, Emmy, for a failure to communicate with us.

And finally, the straw that broke the camel’s back for me.

This DM was sent to a friend of mine, the same friend that reached out to Emmy following her departure from the ToA server. I can only assume that the post she is referring to is the one I covered earlier, prior to the “anon death threat” post. Let’s parse through this again.

“hi love! i noticed you unfollowed me around the time i made my post calling you and other’s silence on piper and samirahs blatant mistreatment today.”

Wow, you know what, scratch what I said earlier about assuming that the post was directed at me and my friends, Emmy basically confirmed it from her own mouth. Nice to get the ambiguity out of the way right off the bat. Also she’s seriously DMing my friend just because they unfollowed her? And assuming it was because of the post? She can’t definitively connect the two dots but if that was indeed the reason my friend unfollowed her I certainly can’t blame them. Especially given that this was Emmy’s response.

“i hope you realize you’re blatantly racist and just all around a terrible person for harping on the wlw community for being upset about their bad representationk because you had ace representation but don’t use the same energy for the people hurting that they don’t have native or muslim representation.”

It’s spelled “representation”, Emmy. Also the pjo wlw community was upset that REYNA was NOT a LESBIAN, not that they had bad representation. That was their whole salt. As a wlw myself, being upset about bad representation doesn’t give you an excuse to put down ace representation which a lot of them were doing. They have THREE lesbian characters in Rick’s books so far.

Also I thought the issue Emmy took with us was that we weren’t reblogging posts breaking down Rick’s tweets or pointing out the flaws in Samirah and Piper’s portrayal in the books. And now she’s talking about posting about people hurting because they don’t have Native American or Muslim representation? Which is it Emmy, you are sending mixed signals.

“i hope you educate yourself and realize you and the entire community that kept their silence are truly acting terrible right now. thank you.”

This is… extremely rich coming from the asexual who implied she has aphobic friends. I hope she educates her friends and realizes her and the entire community who bashed the choice to make Reyna asexual are truly acting terrible right now. Though given how she put the wlw on a pedestal and turned a blind eye to how aphobic they were acting I don’t have hope. The hypocrisy when she says that my friend is “truly acting terrible right now” when my friend dared to just unfollow her.

And that is how I will close this. She is still posting about the server on her own blog but that is everything major that has happened so far. On behalf of my friend, don’t harass emmy or send her death threats. I may not respect her, but I certainly don’t condone harassment or death threats. 

She is only 15, according to her own blog, but it does not excuse her behavior towards my friends. Being a minor doesn’t exclude you from being a shitty person.

#pjo #percy jackson #rick riordan #rickriordan #discourse #emmy discourse #callout

[undersprite]

This Game’s Winner IS...

It has been quite the few months, haven’t they? In spite of the current situation going on in the world, everyone still managed to turn out great comics! I would like to preface this by thanking everyone that participated in the sprite comic contest. 

I admit I had my shortcomings in managing it, and I feel I could’ve done things differently (and better) in general. But alas, we’re here now. It’s been a long journey, but now, I’ll proceed to announce the winners of this year’s sprite comic AU contest!

1st. Deflowered - By Subna

Deflowered takes a rather familiar premise; Asriel takes Frisk’s SOUL, and attempts to reset the timeline. However, unlike any AU (I’ve seen at least), Frisk takes Asriel back to before the events that led to Chara’s death. With his new knowledge of events to come, he tries to set things right and prevent their plan from coming into fruition, much to Chara’s disapproval. 

Graphically, the AU like most in this contest, it reuses some of Undertale’s assets, but it features original sprites for every character in the comic, along with a new battle UI for Asriel. It also features a “Once Upon a Time” intro scene, which is a great plus for contextualizing the AU. Some of the angled sprites do look a bit weird, but they don’t really detract from the comic (aside form a few exceptions).

Writing wise, it’s an interesting take on a post-flowey Asriel. And the story manages to push you through each of the emotional beats through the comic. Chara’s conflict with Asriel, and their resolution in the battle is what really makes the comic for me as well. 

I had a serious hard time choosing between Union of Two SOULs and Deflowered for the first place, but while Uo2S covers more ground story-wise, and arguably has a more intriguing concept, Deflowered tells a concise story without needing to take leaps across time to tell it. 

From what’s been implied with the “Chapter 1” subtitle, there will probably be more to come from this AU. I would highly recommend staying tuned, because if what’s to come is as good as its first chapter, then I am confident Subna has something special on their hands.

2nd. Union of Two Hearts - By @chaos-fantazy​

Union of Two hearts follows the story of Frisk and Toriel, the latter of which gives up her SOUL to ensure Frisk will be strong enough to leave through the barrier, and how said change affects the story at large. 

Writing wise, this comic covers the most ground out of any in the contest: it spans throughout the entire story, skipping to key points in the story that give a general idea of what the story beats are like, and how Frisk and Toriel react to them- as well as how they evolve. The writing itself for the characters is pretty top-notch overall. 

However, I think my main gripe is that for being one of the main characters, Toriel herself comes across as pretty… Unfinished. It’s hard to put into letters, but it feels as though because of how the scenes are set, there’s not much room to see how her point of view is changed. Though, one could fill in the gaps with enough imagination. 

The ending featuring Chara is certainly intriguing, but I feel as though there should’ve been someplace before where it was implied they were there, it feels like they come out of the blue.

It’s one of the longest comics overall, and it manages to pace through the story relatively quickly. I feel as though some of the scenes should’ve lasted a bit longer pre judgement hall, because as I stated previously, it somewhat hurts Toriel’s arc.

Graphically, it’s serviceable. The sprites created for Frisk are pretty neat, and seeing them grow up because of Toriel’s magic influence through the comic is a treat. Asgore’s sprites for his fight are also really good, along with the attack designs. It does use a lot of Undertale Assets, but it also does go through the entirety of the Underground, so it’s understandable they wouldn’t make all new assets for it. All the original poses made for some of the characters are neat as well, they add to the flavor of it.

Overall, I think the comic is fantastic, but the rapid fire of scenes and jumps across time kind of break it for me. The AU itself has a lot of room to grow, but this comic does a good job of establishing it and its story.

3rd. Undertale: ###### trial - by @nonsensical-questions​

This comic is also a rather intriguing one in concept: In Waterfall, Gaster invites Frisk to a series of ‘tests’, and they face off against his followers. The comic is essentially one long fight against the followers, concluding with a brief exchange with Gaster. 

Writing-wise, the character interactions between Frisk and the followers are pretty engaging, Gaster is also well written. The flavor texts and explanations are very well done as well, it does feel  like something you would see in Undertale, and overall the fight doesn’t feel like it drags one second, despite its length.

Graphically, it’s in an interesting position in which it has original assets for some of the fights, but it also borrows from UT’s unused elements for its attacks. The use of these are very creative. Overall, the attacks in general are more creative than a lot of the fights in the contest, not one attack is repeated.

The fight really is what puts the comic above the rest, I feel. The creativity on display with the use of UT assets, writing throughout the fight, and the build up to the meeting with Gaster is very good. I think that it legitimately earns its 3rd position in its execution alone.

I’d like to congratulate the winners for their hard work! 

That’s not all, however. More people put effort into their comics, and while they didn’t manage to win, they still deserve major recognition! Which is why they’ll be linked below

You can read the reviews for the runner ups here. 

With all that being said, I’d like to once again thank everyone for partaking in this contest, while we had our highs and lows, you guys made this a wonderful experience. 

Once the contestants post their entries, they will be properly reblogged and linked to in the blog.

With that being said, the discord server will remain up for as long as its active, so if you wish to talk with any of the participants, you can do so over there.

#undertale #undertale au #utdr sprite comic contest #the end #could this be goodbye?

[a-memory-of]

Ellere Valahan was relatively quiet on the walk back from the ruins to the ship. The captain briefly questioned the lack of the third passenger, but Ellere simply told him it was fine. Once they were on their way back to the mainland, she found a spot on the deck near Nathaniel to linger.

"I will not lie. I expected Ruran to go against his word, when I tasked him to come alone. Though of all the members of his entourage, I didn't expect you to show up."

"Mm?" she rose a brow, "Well, I suppose I am insistent. Do not blame him, he did try." There was another pause, and she leaned against the railing, elbows bent as her eyes were out on the sea. "You can call us friends, you know. Though, Ruran never mentioned you, it was the first I had heard he had a mentor."

"He was not supposed to mention me," Nathaniel Salem stated, clear as day. "I did not want anyone to be even aware of my existence until all of this was done and complete. Men of Ruran's ilk are meant for greatness. Their entourage tends to fault them. Push them to failure. Based on petty feelings and sentiments - even when it was never about them."

"Ruran's heroism was praised only when it pleased them. They feared Ari'doram, and did not realize its worth. The boy was misusing it, but nothing that couldn't be fixed,” he continued. "If I hadn't isolated Ruran the way I did, many would have pushed the crystal to break his body with words alone."

Ellere frowned, shaking her head. "I do not agree. Perhaps Ruran is meant for greatness, but even a hero needs help. It was not Ari'doram that he nearly lost himself to, but his sorrow. The strength that took, is worth more praise than taking up the sword."

"For a long time I did see Ari'doram as an enemy, I hated it, hated what it was doing to him," she looked down to the waves. "But I understand it differently now. Feelings are what brought him this far. If you believe them to be worth nothing, then that is of your own mind."

"I was not dismissive of his feelings. I was dismissive of yours." He added, calmly. "Something you can not stand, it would seem. But you are admitting it yourself, are you not? You saw Ari'doram as an enemy; you just admitted to hating it. That time spent fighting the wrong the enemy pushed this... Sorrow, as you called it."

"His incredible drive is the reason why he was chosen. We need not debate on such a thing. And yes. I did think he needed help; otherwise, I would not have sacrificed so much of what little free time I have to truly help him navigate this issue for the past half-year. Regardless of what you think now, what you thought in the past is precisely what I want to avoid. Men and women acting like cattle, fearing aetherial constructs, and what they do to the soul. Fearing power, even in the hands of those they trust and love."

"Selfish thoughts. To 'save'. To 'preserve'. When Ruran consented to Ari'doram's aetherial push, even if it was to swallow him whole,” he looked elsewhere, slow in his movement, detached in his words.

"No," she shook her head again, "I know Ruran believed my intent. I cared for him, I always will. I wanted him to live, and therefore I felt I was set against whatever entity lived in the stone, long before I knew what it was."

"I never feared it. Call me selfish all you will, but I have spent the last three turns reminding Ruran how to live, even when he believed he was dying. He wanted to stay, deep down. He had hope, yet. The sorrow came from pushing others away."

She went quiet herself, sighing. She likely was not going to make the man understand. "But you are right, what use is debate. I have no doubt that Ruran is one of the few that could ever do what he has done. And he is alive now, and that is all that matters."

___________________________________

With @will-of-the-traders​

He paused for quite some time after her. "It must be nice, to love and think as you do." The delivery is gentle, but it does not feel right.

"Let us admit you were an exception, then. Would you still deny my words? That the world is not ready for men and women like Ruran? That it needs to be taught, first? Mages of our standing study, research, to become lorekeepers. To give the mundane truths they can not even conceive."

"I had not seen you. But I had seen the others. Not knowing my involvement with Ruran, they would seek me out that I may help. I lied to them, of course--but kept helping where they could not see me. The way they spoke with such concern, and disgust of the stone -- and with so much love of Ruran. Failing to understand he was both, and one, at the very least in ideals."

"This sorrow was not always of his own design, and I believe, deep down, you also knew this. He was not unlike those saints that would have been stoned in life by the people they sought to protect, only to be canonized in death. No more."

"Think what you will. I protected him. If you were here, then it means you were meant to be. I will not deny Nymeia a right to surprises." He went silent.

Ellere finally glanced away from the ocean and to him instead. "I am not so foolish to not see him as others might. I have seen what the two of them can do, what that power does. They were not wrong to fear for Ruran."

"I am also not so foolish to deny that I have hurt him, speaking as fervently as I once did that he should shirk his duty and think of himself, and that others have said the same," a hand still leaned against the railing curled into a fist.

"But I fell in love with the man. He was one before, he still is. He deserves to be. I cannot fault others who see him as such because they do not understand," she shrugged her shoulders, "Maybe we sought to protect different things. But what do I know... after all, I am selfish in thinking so, mm? I do not see us changing each other's mind."

He looked back to her, as if gracious enough to not deny her such a thing. Lidded eyes studied her from head to toe, and it feels as though he's partaken in this conversation a thousand times before. "Why would we need to? Our thoughts are in the same place. I do not know what it is you seek to defend with such ardor. You have done your best, haven't you? And you are now about to be rewarded with a man made whole."

He unfolded an arm to gesture with it a gloved hand, light. "I learned what I wanted to learn. Thank you for this."Nathaniel tilted his head back slightly without breaking eye contact, his earrings chiming in the process. "A good thing to know he will have people to return to, humanity regained."

"Perhaps I still think I am but dreaming, that I am still being tested," Ellere shook her head, "Here I am arguing with a man I do not even know in name. I know not what you thank me for."

She sighed heavily, leaning a her hip on the railing, "All I have wished for so long is for him to live, to know happiness again, even if I am not part. He has many that wait for him."

"Azeyma is here of our trials, Nald for our opportunities. Do not blame me for probing as I do. You are a physician, are you not? A common act when one is to determine what kind of..." He licked canine as he looked for the right word, though seems to settle for something nicer, "...Subject they are dealing with. My name is irrelevant either way. All I do, I do for the sons of man. It is all you need to know. I bear no ill feelings toward you. Even if I did, I doubt I would have time to act on them."

"I suppose it is true," she nodded her head, "As I bear none to you. Ruran is, after all, a fairly good judge of character I find. If you hide your name, I will not pry. As with people who wear masks, they have their reasons."

"I apologize, I am usually of more sound mind, but as you can imagine my thoughts have been overly troubled. My heart still races."

"Keep your apologies for when you will have committed a legitimate offense. In dismissing my pragmatism, you showed you felt more than you thought. At least more than me."

He gestures dismissively, looking ahead. "It's a formidable trait. I can not fault you for feeling even now. Have your little heart race away." He gestured dismissively, looking ahead. "It's a formidable trait. I'm used to barking."

Ellere looked away herself, but her gaze finds itself back on the water willing for land to get closer. "Barking? What company you must usually keep, then." She looked to the sky, then pulled back from the railing a bit.

"It should not be long. I believe I should... sit for a bit, I know not what will find in the temple. You mean to stay out here?"

"I will not deny you the right to privacy. Go and get that well-earned rest. Should you fall asleep by the time we get to our destination, I will come and wake you."

Ellere actually let out a breathy laugh, "As if I could truly sleep now. I merely take precaution when... I use such an extended amount of my aether. And it is best to be prepared. Thank you, for that chat. And for the rest."

The man nodded in her direction, perfectly affable. He said no more.

#ff14 #ffxiv #rp #roleplay #rp logs #Ellere Valahan #Nathaniel of Salem #Memories of the Romantic Doctor

[theoretical-tactician]

Okay, so I was sent that video about how Rhea did mostly nothing wrong a week back and now that I’ve finished all the routes, I want to give my own thoughts in this. I’m looking at this as someone who completed Crimson Flower first and is very atheist. All of this is going under a read more because it is very, VERY long and I don’t want to subject people to too much.

First, I’d like to bring up that a reddit post was brought up to me responding to this video. I’ve actually read through it before and I agree with points brought up in it (thought I forget bits and pieces b/c it was days ago). Anyhow, here’s a link to the reddit thread if you want an interesting read.

Still, I want to give my own ideas and opinions on this front. For easy reference to what I’m responding to, here’s the video:

The first thing I will state is based on the talk of impressions at the start of the video. It should be noted that while first impressions can be strong, a person’s mind can be changed. I’ll be honest that my opinion on disliking Rhea has not changed, but that came before even starting Crimson Flower because Creepy Lady is Creepy. My opinions on other characters has changed throughout, though as I learn more of them. It should also be stated that Verdant Wind is a copy of Silver Snow, but even more pro Rhea (which I have my own beef with, but deserves its own analysis). As such, the writer of this video would likely start off with a strong pro Rhea bias (not to mention how they speak of Rhea, so).

But that aside, I want to talk about the actual points in this video. The first aspect I will agree upon is that both Rhea and Edelgard make mistakes. Both are flawed characters. And both do things right. The two are opposite sides of the same coin, in my opinion. They have tragedies that back their stories and actions. They do some things similar. It’s just they way they decide to approach such things and their reasoning is very different and leads to very different results. Since this is about Rhea, I will focus on her. Perhaps another time I will talk about the flaws and merits of other lords.

The first major point the video brings up is Edelgard talking about the church wishing to rule the world. Which, yeah, they don’t want to rule the world, instead acting as extremely isolationist. Rather, what the church prefers to do is having an iron grip on Fodlan. That is in fact another version of the use of the word “world” as world can also just refer to a region or group of countries. I believe that in this speech and every other of Edelgard’s, her use of the word “world” is meant to refer to Fodlan alone. That is what is meant to be taken away, at least.

Fodlan is a group of three countries and is the world Edelgard talks about in her speeches, as she talks about it in terms of the goddess, church, nobility, etc. These are things she speaks of as specifics to Fodlan, conveying that “the world” is Fodlan. One way to take complete control of an area is to enforce isolationism, something Rhea VERY much does.

It should be noted that after the division of the Empire into three countries, they were forced to band together beneath the church due to the threats of other countries invading. This suggests the church having isolationist policies which keep foreigners out of the country, fighting them and not welcoming them as brethren. Not only that, but people must obey the church. Look at Claude’s supports. There is legitimate fear in him speaking out against the goddess because doing such a thing is heresy and he could be put to death for saying such things in Fodlan. At least, I would assume this much, otherwise, that fear wouldn’t exist.

The next point I wish to speak on is about whether or not the church actually split up the Empire into three countries so as to weaken the power of humans and put down her authority in those countries. Now, I’m no politician--even if my friends want me to be one--and I definitely don’t know everything about politics, but I can definitely say that the church wasn’t totally neutral in these conflicts.

I, being the nerd I am, actually spent the time to read all of the books within the monastery library to get an idea of the history of Fodlan. Of course, these books do have lies and half-truths themselves (especially since Seteth chooses what to censor (shit, I’m getting war on Protestantism vibes again)). Anyways, we can’t actually tell what the full truth is of what happened in the past as history is written by the victors. And the church. But I’ll do my best with what information there is.

First, there was the war of the Eagle and Lion. This went on for years until the church intervened as a “neutral” party to end the conflict and allow the creation of the Kingdom. The thing is, the church isn’t exactly neutral in this. The result of the negotiations is that Loog gets crowned the first king of the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus. Rhea made a deal with the Kingdom that they would get their independence so long as they followed the teachings of Seiros. As a result, all of the nobles of the Kingdom are required to be devout followers of the church.

This in’t neutral at all as it acts as a gain for the church who wasn’t even involved in the conflict as far as we know, just benefiting off of giving Loog the crown. I would also note that it makes sense for Rhea to do so in order to gain control, considering that the Empire’s relationship with the church strained over time, eventually leading to the destruction of the Southern Church 100 years before the start of the game. While the war of the Eagle and Lion happened long before then, there was likely still some strain between the Empire and church which would lead to Rhea making such a decision to take control of the Kingdom in this way.

The second part is with the Alliance. As far as I am aware, the church did not involve itself in any way with the conflict, but the effects of Rhea’s negotiation with the Kingdom does affect the Alliance in the long run, as it split off from the Kingdom with some of the ideals of the nobles carrying over. You can see this most clearly in Lornez. If you talk to him early on in the game, he actually comments on how the nobility are required to show faith to the church, even if he himself doesn’t necessarily believe in the faith. This is interesting because he is an Alliance noble, not a Kingdom noble, and ONLY the Kingdom was directly given this requirement to follow the faith. This means that when the Alliance did offshoot from the Kingdom, they kept that same die-hard religious stuff. So perhaps Rhea didn’t work in splitting off the Alliance, but her work still lingers there, digging its claws deep in controlling the people.

We don’t know the full events of either split, so Rhea could have been subtly involved, but we would never know. And while the person in this video says Rhea is never subtle due to how we see her act in game, we must keep in mind that people change with time. She likely could have been more stable then, but perhaps not. So past history is kind of up in the air. Though, it also could have been those who slither, like the video suggests. The truth is, we never learn what happened during those conflicts as they are not the main drive of the story, and, as such, we will never know the full story of such events, leaving us only to walk circles in speculation.

I will make a small comment that it’s interesting how Garreg Mach is perfectly in the center of all the regions, though. Like, why was there no country that cut off and had no borders next to the church? 🤔

Onto the next point in the video. There’s a relatively quick part on the church exploiting people for gold and living in extravagance. The creator of the video says there’s no proof of such, but there is a very, very tiny bit. Due to Dimitri’s research on Lord Arundel in Blue Lions (this part can easily be looked over b/c Arundel isn’t spoken of much in BL), it is discovered that Arundel would give very large donations on a regular basis to the church before suddenly stopping (which was likely when Thales replaced him).

Looking at this, we can take it that the church gets its money via donations and the very, VERY expensive fees for entering the Officer’s Academy. I don’t actually know where all of the money goes and what it’s used for, but it seems apparent that the church gets quite a bit of money from the nobility across Fodlan and through the academy. And with the nobility across Fodlan, look back to what I said about the founding of Faerghus.

Many of the nobility are required to follow the faith and making donations is likely a great show of faith. And money can act as a great way of gaining power. So all I’m saying is that the nobility are giving quite a bit of power to the church (because they feel they must or are required to) and we have no idea what this money is being used for.

The next point is about the hypocrisy of the church leading Fodlan when they can’t lead an era of peace. Now, I can agree that the church has led a long era of peace within Fodlan for quite some time. But if such peace was held in a similar fashion to how we see Rhea holding it (i.e. sentencing people who rise against the church to death without providing them a trial), then I would consider it a false peace. That would be a peace upheld by fear.

Of course, there weren’t many large wars within Fodlan for quite a long time, but there were other conflicts that the church has done nothing about, allowing conflict to destroy the borders of Fodlan. See, if it’s true that the church is isolationist, the locket can’t be torn down and the Almyrans can’t be reasoned with. As a result, we have this eternal conflict in the borders of the Alliance with Almyra, a war without end. The same can be said of Sreng, as The Gautier house is at constant war with Sreng to keep them out of Fodlan. Again, no peace could possibly be negotiated if it’s true that the church has isolationist ideas.

For true peace to exist in Fodlan, there must be no conflict with the outer world as well. But to end such conflicts, the church should help work to create a resolution of conflict with the outside world in a more peaceful way. So, no, the church does not entirely keep peace, and while I have no clue whether Edelgard would, too, she at least seems to wish to make an effort to speak with other countries to try and end conflict.

The next point is about the Crest system and governance. Rhea enforces feudalism, which is not a fun form of government and is very oppressive. I will also admit that Edelgard does not change the government from that of the Empire. But it should also be stated that the Empire isn’t an Imperial dictatorship. See, after the insurrection of the seven, power was taken away from the emperor, giving it to the most powerful nobles, who became ministers.

The emperor can’t actually do much without the support of the ministers. We see this through comments from people like Linhardt and how there are subtle details about Edelgard going off to talk to certain ministers, likely so they would join her side and allow her the power to start this war/help prepare for it. Without the ministers, Edelgard doesn’t actually have the people and resources for what she needs to do. So this isn’t a dictatorship, but rather an oligarchy. This is even further highlighted as ministers who didn’t support Edelgard were forcibly put under house arrest or killed and another would take their place.

I’m unsure of exactly what power the emperor does hold, so Edelgard was either able to put ministers under house arrest due to her power as emperor or through force (considering the people/soldiers seem loyal to her/her ideals and has a few soldiers of her own). Though it seems she cannot strip ministers of their power, as it was rather taken by family of said ministers who then vowed support to Edelgard (i.e. Ferdinand, Hubert, and Count Varley’s wife).

Edelgard wants to put a meritocracy on this existing oligarchy, which either would work, or would fail. The video points out that feudalism is far preferable to the fall of a meritocracy and I’d actually say otherwise. See, if there’s anything I’ve learned from this semester in my classes that spoke on the world and human rights, it’s this: progress can’t happen without change.

Rhea keeps the system stagnant, unchanging. Fodlan is to remain with feudalism eternally. Or at least so long as Rhea and her church have power. With Edelgard’s meritocracy, either one of two things will happen: (1) a change for the better where the government will be more inclusive or (2) the complete collapse (fast or slow) of the government and Empire, which will lead to a new era of change where the people will pick up the pieces and create their own government that will improve the world. This is simply how progress comes about.

I should also note that this is a theme I see within Silver Snow itself. When you follow Rhea and choose to support the church, everything remains stagnant. This is noticeable among the Black Eagles as they don’t get their full development. I don’t want to make this too long, so I won’t go in-depth, but the greatest example is how SS Bernie remains a recluse, unlike CF Bernie who has learned to be more outward. A lot of Silver Snow shows the church using people in a way to try and keep order, creating an unchanging and stagnant world. This is what Rhea does. And this creates more harm than good. Sometimes the best thing to happen is when all falls apart and the people build something new on the cleared foundation.

Next, the video states that Rhea isn’t enforcing the Crest system at all, but that’s not exactly true? Rhea, in a way, is enforcing the Crest system by giving the nobles access to the Relics. These are powerful weapons that can easily be used to hold people at bay or kill them. To provide such power to a select few ensures they hold their status high-up as nobles. I mean, we have an entire chapter which ends with us being required to give the Lance of Ruin back to Rhea so she may bestow it upon House Gautier. And if you don’t give it back to her, she gets PISSED. She is actively enforcing this system.

Not to mention that once again, she requires many nobles to follow the Seiros faith, and follow her as a result. She asks that the commoners have faith in the nobles, which is another hit at her basically enforcing the Crest system. I’d also like to note that the only place where she has less control is in the country that has no nobles with crests of the ten elites (and as such, no relics). Crests seem to matter less in the Empire as we can see many powerful nobles who lack Crests (like, our minister of military affairs has ZERO Crests), which may be part of the reason the church has less control. It just seems that the Crest system is so heavily tied to the church, and it’s only strengthened with the lie the faith spreads about Crests.

I also want to add that Silver Snow shows that the most powerful people within the church are actively given Rhea’s blood and Crest shards??? So she is actively providing Crests to people in power which would only further fuel those with Crests being higher/mightier/more important than anyone without Crests.

The next bit that the video speaks on is how the one major wrong Rhea does is her creation of a false faith and outright lying to people about the past. Here’s what I have to say: Rhea can think of Sothis as a goddess all she wants, but she then forces this upon humans. The forcing of humans to celebrate Sothis as a goddess is partially what led to Nemesis killing off the Nabateans (as far as we are aware, though even that could be a lie, but it remains consistent across routes (Seiros was not the one enforcing faith then, but likely Sothis herself)).

After Seiros killed Nemesis, she created the church of Seiros, which seems odd. Why would you name your faith after a saint (and yourself) and not the goddess you celebrate? It seems odd. I mean, Christianity is called Christianity, not Peterism or whatever (I do realize that there are subdivisions of Christianity like Lutheranism, but that is, again, part of Christianity).

By covering everything up and creating a religion, Rhea simply makes a new way for people to worship her mother as she so desires. It allows her to take control of Fodlan slowly so she might have complete religious control over the people, as that seems to be one of her desires.

There’s a statement in this ending part of the video that really struck a chord with me. The video states that if the church put its beliefs closer to reality, those who slither would have nothing to manipulate Edelgard with. But it should be noted that they aren’t manipulating her. In fact, they weren’t the ones to tell her this. She gained this information from her father, the emperor. This was information passed down to her through the generations.

Her tipping point was being experimented upon so that she might have a second Crest which is also a major Crest. The only way this could have been averted is if the church never took control of Fodlan and enforced the Crest system, preventing Edelgard from possibly being harmed by it and obtaining a secondary Crest. But the only way to do so would be to destroy the Crests and Relics, which I doubt Rhea wants to do (since those are her siblings). In fact, she herself ADDS to this problem as she and all of the saints (excluding Macuil) gave their blood to the nobles who assisted them, which would further assist the creation of a Crest system.

The last bit of the video I wish to comment on is about Rhea’s questionable experiments. No matter how you look at it, what she did was wrong. We don’t know what the first dozen experiments were like, but we know how Byleth’s went. Sure, at first it was to save their life. But then Rhea became obsessive, wishing to turn the child into the progenitor god.

The video states that it seems like Rhea simply wanted Sothis to be reborn in spirit outside of Crimson Flower. But I don’t think so. In every route, Rhea makes comments on Byleth being a vessel and wishing for the power to overcome them, making Sothis return. It seems that the entire time, no matter the route, Rhea has desired for Byleth to be a sort of human vessel to sacrifice for the return of her mother. It is only when this fails and Byleth fights against Edelgard that Rhea gives in and just sees Byleth as being the progenitor god in spirit, Sothis having had passed down her powers to her vessel.

Since the video speaks nothing on anything of the war phase, I will also speak nothing of Rhea’s actions during the war phase. It is then stated that many of Edelgard’s accusations towards Rhea are either outright false or missing context, but I believe otherwise. All of them are true in some form or another, and we never know everything Edelgard does. Edelgard does in fact know the truth of Rhea, but we never know how much of the truth she knows of the Relics (though it’s highly likely she does and just never speaks on it).

It should also be noted that the video says Edelgard is walking the same path as Rhea, though from a different direction. And I do agree. They are two sides of the same coin. People struck by tragedy who wish to right this wrong. The difference is how they choose to pursue fixing this. Rhea does so by becoming some almighty power. Edelgard does so by becoming a tool for her people.

After writing all of this, I will say that Rhea is one of my favorite characters in Three Houses for her writing, and that is due to her tragedy. She’s of so much interest because she’s someone stuck in their past, wishing for nothing more than what they used to have. But they can never have that back, dragging other people down with them as a result.

Rhea may have done some good things in her time, but if she did, I have yet to see or hear them. Perhaps the church has done things to help Fodlan, but it cannot be ignored how much harm Rhea has done as well.

#rhea #fe16 #fe16 spoilers #golden deer spoilers #black eagle spoilers #church spoilers #long post

[99nzheorphanedacc]

Trolling Su

Rating: K+  Words: 2455 Description: Korra keeps her promise to Baatar and Izumi teaches Suyin a much needed lesson.

For Lin and Tenzin, the airship ride to the Fire Nation was unbearably awkward. It felt like they were parents having to bail their child out of prison. Korra had sneaked into the Fire Nation with Baatar Jr. in tow. It was all because of a promise she made to keep the two separated if Baatar failed to talk Kuvira out of surrendering to Republic City during the Invasion of the United Republic only a few days prior. In a last effort to save her son from being tried for aiding the Great Uniter in her war crimes, the Matriarch of Zaofu even sponsored the Avatar’s plans and sponsored hers and her son’s passage in the cargo hold of some merchant vessel in an attempt to have the voyage go unseen by border control in the United Republic and Fire Nation Islands.

When Lin and Tenzin landed, they found Lin’s younger sister waiting for their arrival on the runway of the Royal Airfield, positively quaking while waiting for ‘an audience with her Lordship, Izumi’.

“Spirits, I miss the days when she was like a sister and we could just waltz in and –” Suyin grumbled, furious that no one allowed her to see her eldest son yet.

“Cry about how your sister beat you in sparring again?” Izumi asked, appearing behind them in all of her grey-hair and crimson-robed glory, accompanied by Tenzin’s two older siblings of all people.

“Zumi!” Lin exclaimed, rushing to hug the Fire.

“Bumi?” Tenzin asked, eyeing his older brother with surprise. “Kya?”

“We were on the islands just visiting when we got the report!” Kya explained, hugging her little brother first and then his ex-girlfriend.

“What report?” Tenzin asked.

“The report that Izumi had my son arrested?” Suyin asked pointedly.

“Spirits! No!” Izumi exclaimed. “The one that announced they’d been seen, the Avatar and the Great Uniter’s Fiancée, without visas or explanations for their presence on our pumice.”

“It was supposed to be Baatar’s punishment for his involvement in Kuvira’s Regime!”

“How is sending him on a vacation in my country a punishment?” Izumi asked, accepting a drink from a passing palace servant as they walked into the Red Keep.

“The punishment isn’t sending him on vacation! It is keeping him from Kuvira during the trials!” Suyin explained carefully.

“So he can get away un-accused without any sort of sentencing for building that spirit mecha?” Izumi asked Suyin.

“Well—” Suyin stammered. “Kuvira coerced him to—brainwashed him—” 

“—You know, I was going to let them go, at first, as long as they didn’t disturb the peace we have worked so hard to achieve.” The Fire Lord explained, entering a private parlour of the palace. “But after Kya gave me a few drinks, apparently I gave the order to have them detained for illegal trespassing.”

“Why?” Suyin asked. “He’s my son!”

“I know, and I regretted it for a few minutes, but then stopped once you started talking,” Izumi finished, kicking her feet up onto a coffee table as she sat on a love seat with Kya.

“Bu—” Suyin stammered. “Zumi you can’t be serious!”

Izumi simply smirked as she took a sip of her drink and folded one arm under her other elbow.

“Oh, you’re cruel,” Lin exclaimed, laughing as she noticed the wicked grin just beyond the rim of the cup that Izumi made no attempt to hide.

“What have you done?!” Suyin yelled, stomping her foot, shaking the room. “Release my son at once! Lin you can’t let her do this! He’s a Beifong!”

“The Beifong name might mean something in Zaofu, and maybe Republic City on some days, but Suyi, this is the Fire Nation,” Lin apologized to her little sister.

“You guys are such—UGH!” Suyin yelled, pacing the room in her fury, only a few moments away from collapsing the entire palace with her bending.

“Do you have back up?” Bumi whispered in Izumi’s ear, standing behind the love seat with his hand’s on her shoulders, mildly concerned for their safety.

“Always. I’m the Fire Lord,” Izumi replied.

“You guys are so mean!” Tenzin yelled at Lin, Izumi, and his siblings. “Come on, Suyin. I’ll help you find Junior and Korra. They don’t deserve this treatment.”

The other four watched the Air Nomad lead the enraged earthbending matriarch from the room with mild amusement.

“Was all this a ruse to spin up my little sister for your entertainment?” Lin asked curiously once they had gone.

“Only partially. I do believe Baatar needs to face some sort of judgement for creating the weapon that enabled that power-hungry- child to invade my Father and Avatar Aang’s masterpiece and destroy its capital city—but those crimes were not committed in my country, so—” Izumi sighed and ser her cup down. “I could not be the one to do the judging… But he needed to be sentenced to something and then Kya reminded me that after the 100 year war, the Fire Nation lost all previous visa agreements with other countries. If we can’t cross their borders without reason and permission, they can’t cross ours. While it is not justice for the mecha, it’s something.” Izumi said, taking another sip of water.

“I didn’t know you knew how to intimidate,” Suyin exclaimed, impressed that her older sister’s nerd of an ex-boyfriend managed to get the location of the Avatar and the Great Uniter’s Ex-Fiance out of him without taking off fingers as Suyin had suggested.

“I may not have been the greatest Councilman, but I picked up some things,” Tenzin replied, walking quickly down an underground of the Capital City’s highest security prison. “KORRA!!! JUNIOR!!!”

“Oh shut up! I can’t stand the echo, allow me,” Suyin said closing her eyes and stomping a single, heavy foot down to feel the vibrations of the earth to search for her son and the Avatar’s signature heartbeats. “This way!”

Tenzin followed suit. By the time he caught up with the matriarch of Zaofu, she had torn off the iron door to the cell and run in only to be punted back into the opposite wall by the inmates of that cell.

“That prophet was right about an escape opportunity on the fourth moon of the seventh year of—”

“You’re not escaping if you weren’t meant to escape,” Suyin said, grimly lifting a hand as the other rubbed her head, bending a spear of earth from the floor of the prison cell into the ceiling, pinning them to the roof of the prison hall by their shackles.

“That doesn’t look anything like Korra or Junior,” Tenzin commented, resting as Suyin found her feet again.

“They’re the same weights as Korra and Junior,” Suyin replied, standing up.

“I thought Seismic Sense identified people by their heartbeats!”

“Yeah, mine was never as acute as Mom and Lin’s, so I had to make do with weights and densities,”

“Do I they know that?

“They’re the same weights as Korra and Junior,” Suyin replied, standing up and dusting herself off as the guards came to collect the ‘escaped’ criminals.

“My Lord, Masters Tenzin and Suyin have discovered at which prison your guests were being held,” a palace servant wearing Earth Kingdom clothing announced while Lin, Izumi, Bumi, and Kya were enjoying a large plate of lychee, longan, and rambutans.

“Good,” Fire Lord Izumi replied, discarding a rambutan skin in one of the large tins beside the plate of fresh fruit.

“Were being held?” Lin asked curiously. “Where are they now?”

Izumi raised a hand and the palace servant in Earth Kingdom clothes earthbent open a secret door revealing the two in chains in a chamber just off the parlour.

“Lin?!” Korra yelled.

The Palace guard threw a flat metal strip over the Avatar’s mouth. “You were told to be silent!” the guard yelled.

“Tadashi, that isn’t necessary. Unbind them please, I’m sure Lin has many questions for them… and they should eat,” Izumi instructed, sitting back on the lounger with a handful of longan.

Tadashi and Korra both exchanged rather menacing glares as the earthbender unlocked the platinum cuffs and hung them on hooks on his belt.

“Korra, you let yourself get captured by the Fire Lord?” Lin asked incredulously.

“My Father would be so proud of me!” Izumi whispered to Kya and Bumi with a smirk as the other’s snickered.

“Okay—first of all, she didn’t capture me! Her cronies did—”

“And who trained them?” Izumi asked.

“Her lordship was the one to discover your hiding place and coordinate the attack—” Tadashi added as Baatar sat down on an empty couch and reached for some fruit.

“You didn’t think to use the Avatar State to escape?” Lin inquired.

“I thought you and Tenzin didn’t want me to use it except for when my life was in actual danger!”

“You didn’t know Izumi’s guards! They could have been Red Lotus insurgents or something.”

“For your information, we’re confident we’ve scourged them from our soil, but—” Izumi tried to chime in.

“Izumi revealed herself pretty immediately so—” Korra exclaimed.

“You were afraid of her?” Lin asked, raising a brow and turning to her friend.

“She explained that she knew what we were doing and how she thought Baatar still deserved some sort of sentencing and—”

“In short, the Avatar knew she wasn’t in mortal danger and therefore didn’t need to initiate the Avatar State. Anyways, this isn’t about Korra, Lin. It is about making sure Baatar knows he overstepped his bounds in the Earth Kingdom and United Republic and that Suyin knows she can do nothing to hide it,” Izumi explained. “Not from us, at least.”

“Like how my mother covered up her involvement with the Terra Triad,” Lin realized, looking up at the ceiling in relief.

“Exactly!” Izumi raised a rambutan to her friend.

Lin let out a sigh of relief and picked up her cup of tea.

“So when are we supposed to expect Su and Tenz to come back raging?” Lin asked.

“A few days. My agents report her sub-par seismic sense abilities mistook two legitimate inmates for Korra and Baatar…”

“She also thought that Zhu Li was Kuvira the night she tried to assassinate the Great Uniter,” Baatar whispered bitterly.

Lin clicked her tongue and shook her head. “I guess that’s what she gets for being cocky and not practicing.”

Izumi shrugged.

“I wonder what skills you missed. Toph mentioned neither of you ever really grasped the finer points of metalbending,” Korra chimed in, trying to make conversation as they waited for further updates on Su and Tenzin’s wild goose chase.

“She WHAT?” Lin shrieked as Izumi, Bumi, and Kya burst into equally raucious fits of laughter.

“I can’t believe we still haven’t found them!” Tenzin sighed in defeat as he and Suyin walked down another alley on another island following another lead that lead to nothing.

“Wait!” Suyin said. “Is it just me or do you get the sense that we’re being followed?”

They both stopped walking to listen. There was no breeze under the cover of the high walls that surrounded them on all sides. It was the perfect place for an ambush, they realized as a dozen men in long, hooded black coats appeared on the roofs of the flanking buildings.

One drew a knife. Suyin stepped in front of Tenzin and raised metal stips off of her necklace preparing for a fight. She fired first as he threw his knife . He missed intentionally and out of the handle, fluttered a rolled up piece of parchment.

Just come back, Suyi was written on it in Izumi’s hand.

“Not until I have my son back!” Suyin yelled, crushing the paper in her hand, tossing it up, and shredding it with a swipe of several metal strips bent into blades of a knife.

One of the cloaked men threw another dagger. “And what makes you think he has been held in one place?”

“Fuck the Fire Lord!” Suyin groaned turning up to the sky.

“What was it?” Tenzin asked.

“Zumi,” Suyin growled.

“She’s had him the whole time?”

“Yes,” Suyin confirmed.

They both waltzed straight into a meeting Izumi was having with her war generals in the throne room.

All of the generals stood upon the intrusion ready to defend their Lord to the death only to find the matriarch of Zaofu and the Air Nation’s only grand master.

“Session dismissed. We will recommence tomorrow,” Izumi snapped, standing with her hands folded in front of her, eyes narrowed and mouth pressed into a tight frown.

The Generals all saluted and filed out.

“WHERE ARE THEY?” Suyin demanded.

“The pool in the guest quarter,” Izumi answered immediately

Suyin ran with Tenzin at her heel.

When they arrived at the pool, they found Korra screaming as she slid down a water slide that lifted at the end, launching the Avatar into the air.

“WATERBENDING BOMB!” Korra yelled as she came crashing into the pool shooting a column of water into the air.

“Kya! Heads up!” Baatar yelled, passing the ball to the older waterbender as Bumi and Lin opposed them in a game of water polo on the opposite side of the pool.

“My Son!” Suyin yelled, running towards the water’s edge.

“Mother?” Baatar gasped, spinning in the water.

Lin intercepted the ball and caught it, holding onto it, eagerly waiting for her little sister’s reaction.

Suyin stood, dumbfounded.

“I see you’ve been—treated well,” Tenzin uttered, displaying an equal expression of confusion.

“His paperwork,” Izumi said appearing out of a secret passage way, handing Suyin a stapled stack of papers.

Charges: Illegally crossing International borders without Visa and Resisting Detainment Penalties: -          500,000 Yuan fee to be paid to the Department of Border Control of the Fire Nation -          500,000 Yuan fee to be paid to the National Border Protection of the United Republic -          5 years probation (details outlined on page 6 of Release Documentation)

“He has already paid the fees, and knows the consequences of not reporting to the United Republic Probationary Offices here, in the Earth Kingdom, Water Tribes, and URN. Don’t try to pay off the probation officers, or any other government officials in any country to buy his freedom. No more crimes will go unpunished, my dearest little Suyi.” Izumi said firmly.

Suyin’s hands shook as she read the front page bearing her son’s name and the words “Yuyiao Provincial Police Department, Fire Nation” and fell to her knees.

Baatar moved towards his mother by the pool edge, but Lin stopped him.

“Don’t,” Lin whispered. “She needs to learn just like you.”

“Only justice can bring peace,” Korra whispered, quoting one of her previous incarnations.

---------------------------------------------------

A/N

I was rereading some old one shots and remembered just how neglected the Gaang’s children are in the fandom and needed an excuse for them all to get together again, so.... HERE IT IS! :D 

Also, Tadashi is one of my original characters that regularly appears as an earthbending member of Fire Lord Izumi’s personal guard in a lot of my other stuff that is posted... somewhere. 

#fanfiction #oneshot #korra #baatar jr #suyin #suyin beifong #lin beifong #tenzin #kya #bumi #fire lord izumi #longan #rambutan #lychee #Fire Nation #Earth Kingdom #kuvira is mentioned but briefly

[aquarianlights]

Life is great, guys. :) (It really does get better.)

So I just wanted to talk about this for a minute coz for those of you who don’t know, this blog isn’t like an aesthetic blog or whatever; it’s a personal blog. I’m usually flooding it with verbose text posts, vlogs, selfies and whatnot. I haven’t been able to do that since finally pursuing my passion of medicine because the field is all-consuming. But I’m back for like another week or so, kind of. Lol. I’m going to be writing up an update on what’s going on and why I disappeared for so long and all that because I’m doing some REALLY COOL STUFF! :D And I’m excited to share it with everyone! :) I really missed you guys and I missed my blog. I may not get that text post up tonight, but here’s this one. Lol.

I know I have said I beat my depression before, but even now as I have slipped back into a depressive state and even seriously had points where I considered suicide, life is still really great. I even had a night where I relapsed for the first time in 2 years and gave myself exactly 3 cuts and had pills laid out ready to OD and you know what? The decision to text my next door neighbour (who is turning into a good friend) to come over and chat instead of going any further with all of that was SUCH an easy decision to make.

You all know how impulsive I am. I’m on the extreme end of the borderline  personality disorder spectrum. I’m as impulsive as they come. Even as depressed as I can get sometimes, overall, I’m still happy. And I want to illustrate how that can be so that everyone with depression can understand exactly HOW it gets better and what you have to look forward to in life.

There was a time when I was having a total breakdown on my closet floor. Like, panic attack and all. Couldn’t breathe, felt like I was legitimately going to die, had my phone on 911 with my thumb over dial because I really did feel like I was dying from the panic attack. As I laid there, sobbing and gasping for air, torn between “I wish I would just die” and “I should call 911 coz I feel like I’m dying”, my panic attack began to subside. As it did, I laid there sobbing unable to get up, unable to even move. But what was the very first thing my mind thought at that moment as my mind began to clear? Normally, I would think “God, I just want to die” or maybe thinking of ways to kill myself or ways to justify killing myself. But no. I didn’t. The very first thing I thought was “Wow, I’m so glad I’m alive. My life is the best it has ever been, it is so wonderful and I am so happy. I wouldn’t want to lose it.”

In that moment, after a horrible breakdown, all I could think about was how happy I was and how great my life was.

And even now, despite me being more depressed and suicidal than I have been in 2, maybe even 3 years now, I feel more motivated, driven, content, in control of my own destiny, powerful and like I really enjoy the life I’m waking up into than I ever have in my entire life. For once, I don’t mind waking up into *my* life. Sure, I would change it in a fucking heartbeat if I could. I think everyone has at least one thing about their life they would change. But I’m now one of those people that wakes up and feels motivated and excited to take on the day more often than not, instead of waking up with pain and this unbearable weight holding you down in bed not allowing you to even get up. I’m no longer that person that wakes up and just instantly bursts into tears and does everything in their power to go back to sleep. Those days are finally over for me... I dare say for good.

I don’t know what I did to deserve being happy. . . but I’ve worked so goddamn hard to get to this point. I’ve taken all the right steps over all these years and I guess it has all paid off. I’ve gone through a decade worth of finding the right combination of medications. I’ve finally found the right psychiatrist/psychologist team for med management and therapy. I’m exercising every day, I’m starting to do a bit of yoga, I’m trying to eat right and *trying* to learn to cook (even though it isn’t going well lol), I’m not starving myself anymore, I’m going to physical therapy once a week, I’m keeping myself busy, I’m exercising my mind constantly, I’m doing all the “homework” my therapist sends me home with every week...

After ALL the trial and error of sorting through therapist after therapist... I FINALLY found which “kind” of therapists work for me and which don’t so I can INSTANTLY tell from almost the very first session now if they are going to work for me or not. If I can’t tell, then by the end of the month, I’ll know for sure. I know all the coping mechanisms in the book and I now utilize every one that works for me. And when my therapists ask me what I need from them, I know exactly what to tell them.

I have worked SO. GODDAMN. HARD. ...and it has paid off. It has FINALLY paid off.

I Pavloved my brain honestly. And it worked.

See, my VERY FIRST psychologist as an adult told me I had “Learned Helplessness”, which I did, due to my mother, who is still trying to inflict it on me. It had caused a *LOT* of my depression. This psych had suggested to me that I do corrected thinking, which I’m sure a lot of you are familiar with.

It’s where every time you have a negative/bad/degrading/those kind of thought(s), you *immediately* correct it in your mind and if possible aloud, as well. I thought that was stupid back when I was 18. I thought everything was stupid back then. That psych tried so hard with me and kept me for a year before she finally had to discharge me for noncompliance after I refused to speak for like.... 10 sessions. Idk why she tried so hard for so long, honestly.

Fast forward like... at least 5(?) years from that time.

I was living with my parents after one of those many traumatic break ups I had. Idr which one. But it was one that reminded me of my learned helplessness. And I was in with a new psychologist and they told me the same thing and I was like “oh”. So I started doing it.

Fast forward like a year later. It’s now a habit. I’m now doing it subconsciously without me even realizing it. But the bad thoughts are still the primary thought and I’m still having to correct myself. It’s just that I’m not consciously doing the correcting anymore.

Fast forward to that moment in the closet. That was the first time I realized that my negative thoughts are no longer the primary thoughts anymore. The corrected thoughts are now the primary thoughts. Those were things that I had been telling myself over and over to try to convince myself to believe it. “Fake it till you make it.” My psychs had always told me “even if it isn’t true, if you tell it to yourself enough times, you can make yourself believe it”. Now, studying medicine, I know why. It all makes sense now. Conditioning is so real. And it works. It changed the entire way I think and go about life. My outlook on just about everything has totally changed and the way I do things has just flipped. Things that would have sent me to a psych ward for a suicide attempt in the past in like 0.2 seconds are now motivators for success for me and give me reason to keep doing what I love. It’s unreal what positive conditioning can do if you just change your entire outlook by devote yourself to correcting all your negative thinking every single time until your brain starts doing it on its own.

I’m going to buy a clicker that they use on dogs and click it every time I feel motivated because that’s something I still sometimes struggle with more than happiness and I need motivation more than I need happiness, honestly. (I had to pick one or the other; Can’t pick both, you have to focus in on just one when doing this.) So I’m trying to sort of...bottle motivation, if you will. If I can just click it every time I feel a rush of motivation, which is at random throughout the day multiple times a day, in about a year or two time (I hope, maybe longer), I’ll be able to click it and get a rush of motivation from the sound. :)

ANYWAYS.

I know I post a lot about my journey with mental illness, so I just wanted to let you guys know that, uh... it hasn’t changed. My “it gets better” posts are still happening. It did get better. It stayed better. Just because I feel suicidal or depressed sometimes doesn’t mean it isn’t better anymore. It is still very much better and I am still very much as happy as can be. I am allowed to feel suicidal and depressed within my bubble of overall happiness. That’s what a lifetime of major depressive disorder and suicidal ideation can do to someone. I still feel like I beat depression even though it is a bit more prevalent in my life now than it has been in a long time. I feel I beat it because I can deal with it so much better than I ever have been able to do before. It’s so much more than sadness, but it’s not something that is going to ruin me and kill me like I was in danger of prior to this transformation, if that makes sense. I’ll kill it before it kills me.

So.

I’m going to write up that update post on what is going on in my life. Why I just disappeared off the face of the planet all last month and a little before that and a little after and so on and so forth. I’M DOING SOME REALLY COOL THINGS, YOU GUYS, AND I’M SO EXCITED FOR THE COMING FALL SEMESTER!!!!!! :D

Be sure to read that whenever I get it posted up! ...maybe tonight, maybe tomorrow. Idk. Probably tomorrow, honestly. [shruggy emoji] I’ve got a lot going on right now, but everything is so much slower paced than I’m accustomed to at this point so I feel like I have so much free time. Haha.

Anywayyyyys...

It gets so much better, you guys. Just hold on till it does. And if you ever need anyone to vent to, just hop on in my inbox. Anon is always on! I don’t wanna lie, but chances are, I probably won’t answer you for like... weeks to months at a time to be totally honest coz I’m hella busy, but know I’ll read them! I always do. :)

-KQR

#personal #depression #mdd #major depressive disorder #text post #mental disorder #psychology #psych #psychiatry #it gets better #mood disorder #mental health #mental health awareness #mental health month #positive mindset #conditioning #pavlov #mental health issues #mental health disorders #that's all the tags i got folks #sorry if i missed any :(

[downwithabusiveshipping]

On October 5, 2017, some people say the world changed — or at least it was supposed to. That day, a year ago, the New York Times published the first sexual misconduct allegations against Harvey Weinstein, claims that quickly grew from a few alleged survivors to a whole army of them. In the months that followed those allegations, many other powerful people were forced to reckon with past sexual abuse, harassment, and assault they had perpetrated. What became known as the #MeToo movement was called a tipping point, and in many ways it was.

Mostly, #MeToo has succeeded in making it acceptable to talk about the sexual misconduct that’s been going on for decades and decades. But while survivors are facing their trauma through calling hotlines, opening up to loved ones, and posting on social media, that public reckoning largely hasn’t translated into actual justice.

In the past year, many survivors of sexual abuse have come forward with their allegations in a world that’s seemingly more open to talking about them. This is evident on social media, where #MeToo spread like wildfire after the hashtag, based on a movement created by Tarana Burke more than a decade ago, was revitalized. But it is also evident in the call volume increase the National Sexual Assault Hotline saw in the months following the initial Weinstein allegations. According to the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network, the hotline saw a 21% increase in calls at that time. Beyond talking about it, some major institutions — like the Senate — have changed their sexual harassment policies to better protect people in the work place. And the movement has spread globally, too, with the #MeToo hashtag being used across the world. And, of course, there have been some notable moves by the justice system after #MeToo picked up in the last year. Bill Cosby was sentenced to prison, and Weinstein was indicted on multiple sexual misconduct charges.

But as time has passed, some of those who were knocked down by #MeToo allegations are slowly and quietly creeping back into positions of power and celebrity. We saw Louis C.K. returning to the stage nearly a year after being accused of, and apologizing for, repeatedly masturbating in front of female colleagues. Jian Ghomeshi, who was accused of sexual assault by more than 20 women, will have an article in the October 11 edition of the New York Review of Books that purports to reflect on this exact situation — what happens to men after they are accused of sexual assault. Ghomeshi was acquitted of sexual assault charges and settled an additional sexual assault charge "with a peace bond and public apology" as noted by an editor's letter preceding his piece. And, as the Senate considers a Supreme Court nominee who has been accused of sexual misconduct by three women, many in the national spotlight have argued not over whether the nominee is guilty of assault, but whether it would actually matter if he was. The President of the United States cast doubt on nominee Brett Kavanaugh’s accusers, wondering why Dr. Christine Blasey Ford, the first to come forward, took decades to do so. That gave rise to #WhyIDidntReport — yet another social media movement in which survivors were forced to explain the systems of oppression, shame, and fear that kept them from reporting their assaults.

With all that, many have wondered what #MeToo has really changed, if anything. Certainly, things are different now, some have said. It would be hard for things to stay the same after a nationwide, even global, conversation about sexual misconduct. But when it comes to justice for survivors, experts say the systems in place are largely the same.

“Not yet that we’ve seen, at least tangibly. But, we don’t have any data,” Sara McGovern, RAINN spokesperson said, when asked whether her organization had noted any shift in how law enforcement fields sexual assault reports, and whether that translates into convictions. “Anecdotally, we’re seeing more people reach out for help and more people tell their stories. So, many people who might have kept that inward — even if they aren’t reporting to law enforcement — people are more willing to talk about sexual violence.”

Joanne Smith, founder and executive director of Girls for Gender Equality, told Teen Vogue that #MeToo has harnessed the "power of survivors naming and speaking aloud their experiences," and begun to change how survivors are believed. Still, she said there needs to be "institutional change" that comes along with these social shifts.

"Standing alone, these moments of individual accountability are insufficient to create the lasting change we need and deserve," Smith said. "Our challenge now is to meet the courage these survivors have shown in speaking out, again and again, with institutional courage."

Part of this institutional courage, Smith said, is the option of justice.

"Survivors first and foremost need to be believed," she said. "Survivors need real solutions to the violence they experience — strategies to prevent violence from happening in the first place, strategies to respond to incidents of violence when they occur, and strategies to help individuals seek justice and accountability for the harm that has been caused. "

Jess Davidson, the interim executive director of End Rape On Campus, an anti-sexual violence group, told Teen Vogue that the iteration of #MeToo that we’ve seen in the last year has actually highlighted how unfriendly the justice system is for survivors.

“I think what the last year has done in a really remarkable way is shed light on the ways these systems are designed to fail survivors,” she said. “I don’t think we’ve gotten to the level yet of reforming all these systems.” While Davidson said #MeToo has made survivors feel that they’re more likely to be believed if they do report, she said that doesn’t necessarily translate into actual justice when it comes to law enforcement. “Undoing these systems [that] are designed around horrible old laws designed to protect white men … we have not reached that level of action. Our society has just come around to the idea that there is something wrong.”

In New York City, reports of rape increased significantly — in some parts of the city reports increased more than 50% year to date over 2017 — which may indicate some progress, though it's unclear whether the increase is because of more reports or more rapes. But the same didn’t hold true in other major cities. In Washington D.C., reports of sex abuse decreased by 4% in the same period of 2017. In Philadelphia, rape reports decreased by 7%, while they decreased by 12% in Los Angeles. Rape arrests, however, increased by 12% in Los Angeles at the same time. In Chicago, reports of criminal sexual assault did increase by 4%. In Atlanta, reports remained mostly unchanged.

But these patterns are also hard to track. An increase or decrease in rape reports or arrests may not be attributed to a movement, but rather to an increase or decrease in rapes. And, towns and cities record their data independently, and have varying definitions of rape, making it hard to compare city to city. Statistics on conviction rates may be outdated — country-wide in 2015, only 310 out of every 1,000 rapes would be reported to police, and of those 310 that were reported, only 57 would lead to arrest and six would result in the incarceration of the rapist. And while #MeToo caught on in the United Kingdom, too, rape prosecutions there have reportedly plummeted, with authorities charging 23% fewer alleged rapists in 2017-2018 than in 2016-2017. Still, we know that relatively few rape reports turn out to be false.

There are many reasons why survivors may choose not to report their assaults to law enforcement, and McGovern stressed that going to law enforcement doesn’t make an assault more legitimate than someone who chooses not to report. “We always tell people there’s no right way to react after being sexually assaulted,” McGovern said. “The reality is that some people are not going to be comfortable going to law enforcement or reporting. That’s completely their choice.”

The barriers survivors face from law enforcement may be the issue at hand, Davidson said. Many survivors may choose not to report their assaults to law enforcement because of these low conviction rates, or because of the victim blaming that often happens when survivors do come forward. Others may not want to withstand the shaming that may come with a trial, and in places like college campuses, Davidson said some survivors choose not to come forward for fear their friends or social circle won’t believe them. These barriers of entry to the justice system are particularly strong for queer people, people of color, transgender people, undocumented people, and other marginalized people, Davidson said, who may not trust police because of historical violence against their communities.

That's why Smith said we can't just work within our current criminal justice system.

"There are significant gaps in the possibility of our progress without an alternative approach to justice. Our options for justice must be more comprehensive than what our punitive criminal justice model currently offers us," she said. "We look to the incredible contemporary scholarship and activism of our partners and visionaries in the deep work of transformative and restorative approaches to justice, Mariame Kabaand Andrea Ritchie, who have committed their life’s work to rethinking justice for survivors — and accountability for those who cause harm."

If we’re gauging how #MeToo has changed circumstances for survivors, justice can’t be ignored, Davidson said. If people who are assaulted still feel stigmatized by the system that’s supposed to help them, how far can we really presume to have come?

“I think the idea of seeing #MeToo and survivor justice as different is flawed,” Davidson said. “As me too interacts with all of these levels at which rape culture functions, we are going to have to shift toward a more justice oriented conversation, and watching likes on Facebook and Twitter turn into real action. I believe that’s where the movement is going."

Smith said that action should include all people and all institutions. It's not enough to change just one thing — the world does need to change.

"We are calling on an intergenerational movement that includes young cis[gender] and trans[gender] women of color, non-binary and gender nonconforming youth that feel and believe that they are part of a movement to end sexual violence," Smith said. "We are calling for changes in federal and state law, and in culture and policy in companies, schools, and other institutions, to ensure that we are supporting survivors to deliver accountability, justice and healing, but also to change the culture and systems of permission that leave folks vulnerable, allow for an abuse of power, and have made sexual violence a systematic epidemic in the first place."

#MeToo #anti rape culture #anti abuse culture #survivor justice #justice system #teen vogue #info #information #downwithabusiveshipping #not sure what else to tag this

[kaibutsushidousha]

Does Chabashira really represent aikido so well? I mean, in the English localization she has an FTE with Kaede in which she boasts of how she likes performing pre-emptive strikes against opponents before a match starts, targeting their spine for maximum chance of permanent damage. I have to wonder if they localized her into a real fanatical loon or aikido is way more vicious than I thought.

No, no, no, no, that’s Chabashira’s unique side I mentioned. The “neo” in Neo Aikido. Actual aikido doesn’t do that.  But before I talk about aikido, let’s see those quotes you mentioned.

そうです！なんなら、先手必勝で今の内に最原さんを…“I know! If you would like, I could immediatelly make the first move on Saihara-san with a sneak…“No crushed spines here. Spine bending is not an aikido move even in the Neo version, I presume. She is also explicity asking for Akamatsu’s permission before asking.

Now, before I talk about aikido, a little disclaimer: what I practice is kendo. It’s a little different from aikido, so I might be getting some of the ideas wrong, but they share the same roots in Zen Buddhism from Kamakura, so I’m assuming they share a lot how students are supposed to behave inside a dojo and how they are supposed to take the lessons learned to their daily lives. I can see a lot of kendou principles in Chabashira and that’s why believe aikido (and by extension other Kamakura arts) also has that, so I could very well be mistaken.

First of all, the goal when practicing Japanese martial arts is constant self-improvement, both physical, technical and mental/spiritual. They are paths with no end. No master ever believes they mastered everything, there’s always room to learn more.  Self-improvement is a concept Chabashira brings up very often and is very big in driving her character. Although rarely, sometimes even points out places she need to correct in herself, like when she apologizes for what she said in the second trial. Even in her semi-obsessive relationship with Yumeno, her biggest focus is not pleasing Yumeno, but working on Yumeno’s self-improvement in the emotiveness department. 

A very important note about the self-improvement is that martial arts doesn’t sort people as good and evil, they are equally people who need to learn and improve, it’s just that some are more behind in the path than others. Chabashira’s mentality is not perfectly this, but quite close to it. She does see men as evil, but as the martial artist she is, she doesn’t believe in people as irredeemable. I believe she pretty much says it word-for-word to Saihara in a Free Time (”even a degenerate like you grow into a respectable person through the path of Neo Aikido” or something like it). And as her advising Saihara in the dojo scene shows, she is quite open to guide “evil” men into correcting their own flaws.

The goal of a Japanese martial arts when not practicing is taking what they learned as a means of always being useful to others. V3 made that concept Gonta’s shtick, but you can see Chabashira is always tagging along when Gonta is taking action for the group’s sake and even when Gonta is not around or that one time where Gonta was the problem, Chabashira is still very proactive about protecting the girls.

Chabashira’s polite way of speaking (tenneigo) even with people she hates is also part of a martial arts principle. Tenneigo is the polite Japanese used to talk to people who are superior to you in the social hierarchy, like your bosses, your teachers and pretty much anyone older than you. However, in dojos this works somewhat different. Dojos have very clear senpai-kouhai hierarchies, but everyone, including the master, addresses all people with tenneigo. This is because, as I stated before, the path has no end, even the most proficient master is still striving to learn, so the students are all treated with tenneigo because even the most novice student can teach something useful to the master. All people are treated as potential teachers, even some well behind you in the path because the path is not a single straight line. Chabashira even acknowledges Momota’s speech about the value of life corrected one of her mistakes in the end of chapter 2.

Last but not least, power is meant to protect. No modern martial art whatsoever advocates violence, only self-defense at best. That’s a point where things are twisted because the main principle of Neo Aikido we see is “strike first to win”, but inside Chabashira’s delusional head that’s legitimate self-defense. But even with her penchant for preemptive strikes and her huge bark with no bite about men deserving death, she already expressed herself to be fundamentally against the use of lethal force in the exact same conversation she admitted to wanting Angie dead. Regardless of what the translator says, I believe she is against permanent damage as well, considering her already commented belief that all people are redeemable.

That’s all I have to say about Kamakura arts in general. There’s more I could add about the thing little bit I know about things that are specific to aikido, but I already talked about this before.

#tenko chabashira

[wisdomrays]

BASICS OF ISLAM :How are Those Who Are Hostile to Dialogue Activities Today Relevant to "Kharijites, Karmatis, Anarchists"?.Part2

Anarchists, Murderers of Innocents!

Anarchists legitimized the actions of some tyrants against Muslims. They came into being as rebels against the state, and they refused to recognize democracy or the secular system. The natural outcome of such a situation was that the state used it as an excuse to suppress such insurgences. In the meantime, obscure suspicions were construed as actual incidents and many innocent people were hurt on the false grounds that "there is a possibility that they may be dangerous." In Islam there are no suicide bombers. All throughout history Islam has never issued permission to murder innocent people; this is out of the question. However, as a consequence of the actions of some people, people similar to the Karmati and Kharijites, who have been deceived or manipulated by drugs or in some other way, many other innocents have been defamed, and pristine image of Islam has been tarnished. Muslims, the representatives of submission to God and security, have been depicted as potential terrorists.

Two factors can be listed which aggravate the issue: the first is the fury, coercion, and determination of the tyrants; the second is the actions and conduct of some imprudent people which substantiate the cause of the tyrants.

Throughout the process, the greatest harmed have been those in the middle, those in doubt and hesitation. They have observed what has been going on, and seeing in the front those anarchist souls, nihilists, and a few Karmatis and Kharijites, they thought "they have done far too much, they deserve punishment." In this way, they have endorsed the coercive operations of the tyrants, perceiving them as being carried out in defense of the system. Moreover, those in the administration either then deliberately overlooked all that was happening, or were incapable of comprehending the true extent of things. Those people who hesitated in the middle were overwhelmed by their doubts and consented to the deterioration of the atmosphere of tolerance and to the hands that had been extended for peace being pulled back.

It is also important to note that it is always easier to inflict damage; damage can be influential, even if it is apparently small in size or carried out by only a few. Destruction is easy. Libeling, lying, slandering can always be done very easily by a few hired writers. Many people, as well as many institutions, have been defamed in this way. They have even organized slander campaigns concealed by the so called "freedom of press." These campaigns were always brought to a court of law to be refuted and compensated; however, these trials lasted months and a verdict was reached at a much later date. The evil intentions had already been fulfilled, leaving behind tainted images in some minds.

A small marginal minority which was unsatisfied with everything was behind all this wickedness. They believed in a kind of caste system in which they formed the eyes, ears, nose, and mouth of Divine Existence, whereas the rest of the people were made the fingernails, or in the words of the poet Necip Fazil, they were simply pariahs. If something good were to take place, it was surely accomplished only by them; if any achievement were made, it was certainly them who were to be associated with it. How is it possible that religious people are first to be remembered when dialogue and tolerance are mentioned? How can it be that Muslims are in the forefront of education? This is not possible, it should be these others who are being appreciated for these activities, as they form the eyes and ears, not those whose essence is fingernail. You may call them a marginal group or an oligarchic minority, these arrogant people damaged extensively the peaceful aura that could have surrounded us; what they did was destructive.

Attacking Dialogue

Karmati zeal, Kharijite thought, and the anarchist mood have been seen in the past, and they can reappear at any time. As long as people of faith can recover and have an opportunity to express themselves, take a stand in favor of dialogue and understanding, voice peace everywhere and to everyone, surely there will be some others who will be disturbed by them. Perhaps we should ask them this question: "People of faith act upon certain principles and their numbers constantly grow as they are welcomed by everyone; why don't you use your own arguments of unbelief so that you may grow in number too? You are not appreciated by the society. You have to reach such a level that you are countable, inspire confidence, and become beloved so that you may be welcomed."

I would prefer not to have mentioned these three groups of evil people, especially as we are experiencing the blissful month of Ramadan. The mention of evil blockades mercy; thus, talking about these people breathing evil may prevent the divine mercy pouring down upon us these days. To ensure that these blessings are continued perhaps we should always speak about the good doers and take action for the good. I was inspired by the recent fast breaking dinners of representatives of many different thoughts dedicated to tolerance, each holding each other's hand, exchanging glances; no more are their looks of "the other." I wish some people had not sabotaged such activities in the past, that they did not take on hostility and could embrace these gatherings with good intentions; I wish they could at least respond to those hands extended for peace, by holding out an olive branch.

Everyone shows their true character. We are also supposed to continue showing our true character. Our path is that on which we are inspired with faith in God and on which we take positive action. Our duty is to invite others for "conversations about the Beloved for another hour," as the Companions would do, and in that way to reinforce our faith and to enthusiastically walk, making the truths of belief accessible to others; it does not matter what some other people say or do.

#allah #god #islam #quran #muslim #revert #convert #convert islam #revert islam #reverthelp #revert help #revert help team #help #islam help #converthelp #prayer #salah #muslimah #reminder #pray #dua #hijab #religion #mohammad #new muslim #new convert #new revert #how to ocnvert to islam #convert to islam #welcome to islam

[typicalrobotgirl5]

What was your turn off, disappointment with the way they wrote Robron after the reveal? In other words what make you unship them? (My wording is ridiculous but I hope you get my point)

Hullo, anon!  :)  Andthank you for the question.  I’m not oneof those people who is amazing at laying things out in a straightforward fashion (and also not someone who gets anon questions a lot),so I don’t know if my answer will be all that enlightening, but I’ll give it ashot!

I’m going to preface this by saying that I tend to secondguess myself when I’m being as critical of a show as I am here.  After this plot happened, I spent a lot oftime thinking whether I was being this negative purely because of the emotionalconnection I felt as a shipper, or whether I had a ‘legitimate’ gripe about howit was done.  SPOILER – it was both!

But before I go into the nitty gritty, I should say – I loveEmmerdale.  I still love and shipRobron.  Maybe I’ve had to take a stepback from the actual show…but that’s something that happens when you’re enoughof a dumbass to ship a soap couple :) Soaps burn through content – and nothing is off the table.  Which sometimes includes beloved powerhousesoap couples.

I get that.  I acceptit.  I still wish they hadn’t done thisparticular story…

OR, if they had done it…I wish they’d done it better.  

I think it comes down to one thing for me, ultimately, andthat is timing.  Cheating is such a soapstaple – it was bound to crop up eventually, especially when one of the charactersyou’re dealing with is Robert Sugden. And in fairness, just to mix it up, I could have seen the soap godspulling the ‘AARON is the one to cheat…because Robert is too busy scheming/notbeing there for him’ card at some point.

But that’s the thing. AT SOME POINT.  Not three weeksafter a wedding where Robert singles out that very issue and sincerely andexplicitly says, “Hey, I know you are worried that I am going to cheat onyou.  That is a thing that I promise youwill not happen.”

And then it ends up happening almost immediately after, andI feel like the surprise of the ‘shock twist!’ isn’t worth how much that priormoment and the build up to it, has been cheapened.  Because we were clearly meant to invest inRobert and Aaron, to believe and root for them. We’d BEEN rooting for them for the entire year.  And then all of that was hastily thrown outthree weeks later.  

Okay, it’s a stressful three weeks.  But it’s still too short a time to reach thatbreaking point that makes me ‘understand’ why the ONS happened.  I feel like it underlines how flimsily thisthing was constructed.  That fight – theone that tips Robert over the edge?  Forme, that wasn’t ‘enough’ to explain what happened next.  Maybe if the story was longer, and we’d beenwatching Aaron and Robert deal with this stuff for months…I might have beenable to see it.  But the time frame wastoo short for it to build to that kind of impact.  

Basically you can’t have a character who passionately swearshis fidelity (and who we are meant to believe is sincere) go back on that inless than a month without having that damage the character and therelationship.  I really thought they weredoing this so that the inevitable ‘Rebecca comforts Robert’ moment could end withRobert definitively choosing to be faithful. Even the other way that could possibly play out – ‘Rebecca comfortsRobert and he makes a pass but she turns him down’…I thought that wouldn’t makeas much sense, because even if it strengthened Rebecca as a character, it put aquestion mark over Robert’s vows.  THATHE JUST MADE.

Sigh. 

Also, it’s not that I feel Robert should be exempted from acheating storyline just because he’d come out as bisexual…but.  That moment was really important to a lot ofpeople.  And still pretty fresh.  And then ED had him cheat pretty muchimmediately.  I just feel like no-oneeven stopped to consider the optics, until Maxine Alderton had Robert do somedamage control by flat out stating, “I didn’t cheat because I’m bisexual.”  

Because yeah, everyone cheats in Emmerdale…but not everyonecheats three weeks after exchanging vows, and shortly after coming out onscreenas one-of-those-bisexuals-you-know-the-ones-who-CAN’T-stay-faithful.

So the timing didn’t gel for me within the story – and thenit didn’t gel for me outside of the story, either.  Because as a viewer, it was TOO MUCH.  I’d been there with Aaron through an enormousamount of trauma – I was already reaching breaking point because I thought theprison sentence was needlessly cruel. There was just no LET-UP for the character or the audience.  We’d gone through Gordon, and the trial, andLiv (who I love, but was also definitely an obstacle for Robron), and theconstant destabilising effect of Rebecca. Yeah, okay, we got a perfect wedding…AND THEN PRISON IMMEDIATELYAFTERWARDS.

That is A LOT.  And itfelt – thankless.  This character hadgone through SO MUCH SHIT in a short space of time, he needed some joy andlight to balance it out.  And frankly, SODID VIEWERS.  Just a BREAK in thatrelentless misery-go-round.  

But instead, on top of everything else, Aaron got ashort-lived spice addiction and a ‘can I accept my husband’s child, and raiseit with him and the woman who makes me feel incredibly insecure?’ plot.  It felt like everything was twisted formaximum cruelty.  And I honestly, didn’twant to watch.  It was a turn off.  

And since then…it’s all been very confusingly handled.  Clearly, ED want Aaron and Robert ‘intact’ insome way, because they’re not doing the ‘Robert is drawn to the mother of hischild’ storyline that would pretty much be a given under these soapcircumstances.  Also, they ‘softened’ theONS by having Robert drinking that night (I don’t think we were meant to seeRebecca as ‘taking advantage’ but it was a kind of ‘Robert mightn’t have donethis if he’d been completely sober’ additional mitigating circumstance).  As well as all the reassurance that Aaron andRobert will be together and that there will be a second wedding.

And I guess I just don’t see the point?  As a shipper, yeah, I like that ED are goingto such stupidly ridiculous lengths to posit Robert/Aaron as THE ONLY TRUE LOVESTORY, MFEO, SOULMATES…but why bother breaking them up in the first place then,if you didn’t want to treat them like any other couple?  If it was just to bring in a baby for Robron,there were less clichéd ways of doing it.

And they seem so squeamish about actually exploiting theshitty situation they’ve created for drama! Since the breakup, all the baby plot has done is force Robert back ontothe endless hamster wheel of scheming for Home Farm (…why??  Does he even know???).  Robert hasn’t been torn between Aaron andRebecca/baby, and Rebecca…Rebecca hasn’t struggled with anything other than frequentbathroom breaks.  She’s seemingly cool whether Robert is involved or not, andhas no objections to Aaron being a third parent.  Or not. She’s cool with every eventuality!

Like, ED broke these characters up to give this woman, thiswoman out of all others, a baby.  Iactually find it immensely frustrating that she doesn’t have a POV onANYTHING.    I feel like I know less about her than when shefirst appeared.  Then, I found ittiresome that she was constantly coming between Robert and Aaron, but at leastflighty, charming, schemer-who-is-not-as-tough-as-she-thinks-she-is Ibiza DJwith sister issues is an actual CHARACTER. I didn’t like that she was ALWAYS in the middle of Robron – or that shewas retconning Chrobert, but I kind of liked HER.  I found her interesting, anyway.   Thatscene where she’s on the floor without her shoes and crying – I genuinely feltfor her, in spite of her flaws, and in spite of my own investment in Robert/Aaron.

As Rebecca is now, she’s a blameless victim, but she’s also notinteresting.  The very least this storylinecould have done is deepen her as a character. But there’s nothing to push against with her – Robert can’t schemeagainst her because she’s too innocent. So the fun of that goes to Chrissie. Vic just supported Rebecca unconditionally from the first, so theaudience doesn’t invest in watching those two characters develop arelationship.  If ED had to break upRobron due to Rebecca, shouldn’t Rebecca MATTER?  It’s like ED is so afraid of any backlash, shecan’t be important in her own pregnancy plot.

Honestly, I feel like no matter how it ends, this plot hasdone a disservice to all the characters – it made Robert look weak, and givenAaron more misery (JUST WHAT HE NEEDED), and even Rebecca, who had the most togain in terms of character development…has reverted instead into just some dupewith a womb.   And I feel like they all deserved better thanthat.  And so did the audience.  

…but I love Emmerdale :)

No, genuinely.  It’s asoap, and soaps have limitations – and I try to respect that.  There are going to be highs and lows in anycharacter’s storyline (like HITMEN, and GRAIN SILOS, and people dangling otherpeople off VIADUCTS because of school projects??), and the fact that ED havemade me care so much speaks to how well the storyliners, writers and actorshave done their jobs.  Robron has thekind of backing as a ship that soaps don’t usually get – and I think IainMcLeod genuinely cares about them, and you can tell.  I love a lot of what he and ED do, and I hopethat comes through any negativity, because underneath it, I have been incrediblyinspired by what has been put on my screen. And that comes from love.

…but I still wish they hadn’t done this particular story…

OR, if they had done it…I wish they’d done it better. 

#ohgod this is so many words #why are there so many words??? #anon is sorry s/he asked #i can't believe it took me years to write my thesis #i could have banged that out in a week

[waterlilyvioletfog]

Rhaegar Targaryen was a Dick

Using real life, historical evidence, and based on what we know for sure (and also some speculation on what we don’t) (and also some things that I’ve seen most fans of the series agree as canon ex. KotLT was Lyanna). Oh, and by the way, SPOILERS.

DISCLAIMER: I love Jon Snow. He’s arguably my favorite character, both in the show and in the books. He’s intelligent, kind, honorable, and good (and far smarter in the books by the way) and I do agree that after the life he has had, Jon deserves everything he’s ever wanted. Jon, Sansa, Gilly, Davos, Grey Worm, and Missandei- they all deserve the Iron Throne. They deserve that after having such absolutely SHITTY lives. I am also pretty much a member of the Lyanna Stark Protection Squad. She’s blameless in all of the events in my eyes. She’s a teenager, for fuck’s sake, she goes with Rhaegar when she’s FIFTEEN years old, for Christ’s sake, and she gets WAY in over her head. Cut her some slack- in America, she wouldn’t have been able to vote, smoke cigarettes, or get drunk. She was not in any way responsible for the events that unfolded in her life. This is my stance on BOTH of these characters until there is sufficient evidence disproving my claims. MOVING ON. 

This past Sunday’s episode included a crucial scene where Gilly is reading from a book of an old maester, who wrote down everything because y’know, that’s the job of maesters. Fact. She asks Sam what an “annulment” means. He tells her, and it’s clear that he’s not really listening because he interrupts her sharing crucial information for the future of the show: this maester gave Rhaegar Targaryen an annulment on his marriage to Elia Martell, then in a secret ceremony in Dorne remarried him to “someone else.” Gilly never explicitly states the name of the other woman, but we can infer that the “someone else” is Lyanna Stark, who was revealed to be the mother of Jon Snow in the season six finale. Ergo, we can safely conclude that Lyanna Stark found out that she was pregant, told Rhaegar, they got married, and eventually Jon was born. (Actually she might have gotten pregant after the ceremony, but regardless. Something like that.)

While many fans (including myself) were screaming with joy at the thought that Jon is the rightful ruler of the Seven Kingdoms (moreso than Dany, actually, because of the male primogeniture rule that most monarchies work with) others expressed rage at the thought of Elia Martell, Rhaegar’s wife, with whom he had two children, being set aside.  And rightfully so. 

YES, it is pretty widely understood that Princess Elia of Sunspear and Crown Prince Rhaegar were not in love. It was an arranged marriage, devised by the mad king. They were married at twenty and twenty-three, when all other options (in the eyes of Aerys) were either unacceptable or non-existent. Under ordinary circumstances (hell even in our universe) the annulment would’ve been perfectly acceptable. Their marriage was amicable, but divorce is always an acceptable alternative. I’m not saying that the divorce was bad. Hell no, it was probably a good thing. But the consequences of Rhaegar’s actions mean that the many people see that Rhaegar was a dick who screwed over his wife and kids. 

Through out Robert’s Rebellion, the Dornish fought with the Targaryen forces, knowing that if they did not, their beloved princess and her children (three years old and an infant) could easily be disposed of. Yes, the war basically started when Rhaegar kidnapped (we now know actually ran away with) Lyanna, “Shaming Elia” in the eyes of many, but that didn’t matter. Elia was in King’s Landing. Elia, beloved by her people, could not be risked. 

And oh, yeah, sure, Elia might have known that she and Rhaegar were divorced, but it is doubtful, but there is very little reason to believe that she was okay with it. Since, you know. She was still a hostage, and you might as well be destined to be queen if you’re gonna be a hostage. (Note that Targaryens were cool with polygamy so actually Rhaegar didn’t have to divorce Elia at all but whatever showrunners, we’ll ignore that for now.)

Remember that whole “Tyrion’s on trial for Joffrey’s murder” thing? And how Tyrion demanded a trial by combat in that awesome scene? And how Oberyn Martell volunteered as tribute to be Tyrion’s champion so he could avenge his sister Elia Martell and her children? And how that got Oberyn killed? And the insuing Dorne plot, which we all hated? Yeah. You do. 

Oberyn Martell needed to avenge the deaths of Elia Martell and her children due to Rhaegar’s actions; he and his father started the war, Elia and her children paid the price alongside them. 

So, after abandoning Lyanna in the Tower of Joy, Rhaegar proceeded to be murdered by Robert Baratheon. The Lannisters, figuring that “Yeah, the Targs are screwed” decided to march to King’s Landing and clear the way for the Baratheon forces. This was called the Sack of King’s Landing. 

Tywin Lannister, hoping to curry favor with Robert, sent on a couple of his goons (including the Mountain, Ser Gregor Clegane) to go kill Elia and her kids. Cause y’know. Tywin was a Bad Dude. 

Rhaenys Targaryen, age 3, was stabbed multiple times. Aegon Targaryen, who was even younger, was thrown against a stone wall. Elia Martell, at this point not even the wife of Rhaegar, was raped with the blood of her son still on her rapist’s hands, and had her skull crushed in. 

But here’s the thing: Sunday’s episode says that these deaths were pointless. Those weren’t Targaryen deaths. 

We can infer this using real life history. 

Back up a second, to King Henry VIII of England. The dude who had six wives. Yeah, him. 

King Henry’s first wife was Catherine of Aragon. Catherine was the Princess of Spain, and it was an arranged, political marriage. She was beloved by the people, and was certainly the longest marriage Henry had. They were married for nearly twenty years, but she only gave him one living child: a daughter, Mary. Henry couldn’t have that. He needed a legitimate heir. A son. 

Henry looked around his court, and lo and behold, his eyes fell upon Anne Boleyn, the daughter of an important emissary. She was feisty, tempramental, and extremely intelligent. She was unwed, and younger than Catherine, and soon Henry came to the conclusion that shit would need to go down so they could be married. 

So, Henry split off from the Roman Catholic Church and created the Anglican Church, which at the time was basically the same thing as Catholicism, but whatever, that’s not relevant. Henry could divorce his wife, and so he did. Meanwhile, he and Anne ran off to get married in a secret wedding (NOTE THAT CATHERINE PROBABLY HAD NO IDEA OF ALL OF THIS BEING A THING THAT WAS GOING ON), and she got IMMEDIATELY PREGNANT, so they had another  secret wedding, and then finally he and Catherine were officially divorced, so Henry and Anne had NOT secret wedding, blah blah corronation blah blah blah, out pops the baby. 

Oh, and while all the secret weddings and pregnancies were going on, Henry made his legitimate daughter, Mary, sign a contract that essentially said “My dad is a certified dick, but he believes in the power of true love to grant him the kid he needs, so I, after being a princess for all thirteen years of my life, do rescind my princess-hood and declare that I am a bastard. I have no (ZERO) claim to the throne, etc etc etc wow my dad was a dick.” 

When Henry got bored with Anne’s feisty, intellectual, quick-tempered-ness, he had her beheaded and made their daughter Elizabeth sign the same contract so that he could marry Jane Seymour, the only one of his wives to actually give him a son (though she, like Lyanna died from birthing fever). 

So, to sum up: THE PARALLELS BETWEEN RHAEGAR AND KING HENRY, ELIA AND CATHERINE, AND LYANNA AND ANNE ARE UNDENIABLE. 

Both Henry and Rhaegar were obsessed with having children (Henry a son and Rhaegar a second daughter) and both, upon receiving the information that their current wives were incapable of giving them more children, turned to the young women who were available. Henry chose the feisty, temperamental, quick-witted ANNE, a daughter of an important emissary, younger than his current wife, and Rhaegar chose the feisty, temperamental, sword-wielding LYANNA (c’mon, you get what I’m getting at with Anne and Lyanna being kinda the same, right?) the daughter of an important lord, younger than his current wife. Both married their respective second wives in secret ceremonies, either immediately before or after said wife becomes pregnant. Catherine and Elia, two “foreign” princesses (many people have noted the vaguely Spanish tinge to Dorne, in the show at the very least) who were beloved by their people, who gave their slightly unhinged husbands legitimate children, and who were set aside due to an inability to give said husband the child he needed. Both were divorced from their husbands, likely largely against their wills and without knowledge of it, and after each had been set aside, it was all for naught: Lyanna couldn’t give Rhaegar his Visenya, just as Anne couldn’t give Henry a son. Considering these parallels, it is not beyond the scope of the imagination that Rhaegar could also have had Rhaenys and Aegon made bastards, especially since we know from the books that Lyanna didn’t like the idea of Robert having children with women other than her! This means that the death of Elia, already being pointless, is now complemented by the pointless deaths of her two innocent children. 

That’s my two cents on why Rhaegar is a dick. 

#game of thrones #game of thrones spoilers #got spoilers #the tutor dynasty #king henry viii #rhaegar targaryen #lyanna stark #elia martell #catherine of aragon #anne boleyn #jon snow #rhaenys targaryen #aegon vi targaryen #rhaegar was a dick #historical parallels #IN THIS HOUSE WE RESPECT ELIA MARTELL #lyanna stark was blameless #jon deserves the iron throne #house targaryen #eastwatch #gots7e5

[illegiblewords]

Spoilers for Before the Dawn.

When I decided to play FFXIV, my impression was the game initially looked like a reasonably lighthearted JRPG. This is despite the fact that I have no shame at all when it comes to spoilers. I’m all Silent Hill, Bloodborne, Rule of Rose, stuff like that periodically so when I say “reasonably lighthearted” that is my basis for comparison lol. I figured that while including some dark backstory stuff for characters was fine I should try to keep it firmly consistent with what I’ve seen in-game.

Backstory I made for Cenric goes something like this:

Cenric was found at Thal’s Respite as an infant, completely alone. Immin Asher (a wandering medic) found him while mourning his tempered wife. Although he had no way of knowing Cenric’s origins, Immin believed the child was compensation from the Traders for the future he'd lost with his spouse. Growing up, Cenric was very reserved. He acted as an assistant to his adoptive father, which initially meant making medicines to sell. As time went on, he started learning a small amount about medical procedures and how to tend injuries without the luxury of conjuring. Cenric was desensitized to bodies and death from a very young age as a result. Perceived morbidity, his odd appearance, plus constant traveling earned him few friends, and occasionally there would be rumors that he was voidsent or a son of Thal. Immin, when asked, would simply state that there is Duskwight in Cenric's blood despite having no way to prove this. When Cenric was 14, he and Immin reached a village on the outskirts of Thanalan. There were unique resources to collect, so they remained for some time. Partway into their stay plague struck. The two did what they could, but when people started dying panic took the community. A small mob, convinced that the situation was Thal demanding his spawn back, tried to ritually sacrifice Cenric. Immin saved his life but lost his own. Cenric escaped into the desert. For the next few years Cenric made barely enough to get by doing odd jobs, exaggerating his healing abilities for coin, and selling what he could find. He was destitute, embittered by the ingratitude that killed Immin. Cenric's memory surrounding the Calamity is hazy, although he remembers being chased out of town by an exploited mother at one point and being driven by hunger to begging in the streets at another. Cenric became seriously ill a year before his adventure began. The irony of his situation in light of the previous plague drove him to hysteria, and he prayed obsessively at an altar to Nald’thal. Initially this involved demanding answers and recompense for the suffering he’d endured. It later shifted to begging for a chance to do better when his guilt and shame took hold, not only over Immin but the people he’d hurt since. At some point Cenric fainted, which allowed the alarmed priests to remove and treat him. A visiting thaumaturge named Memesu examined Cenric and found he had tremendous aetheric potential. This confirmed nothing, but she was able to direct Cenric toward Ul’dah. She also told Cenric frankly that neither the plague nor what happened to Immin was his fault. Thal conducts all of his transactions directly, if he'd wanted Cenric's life then he would have taken it. Cenric is very cynical, although somewhat more outgoing than he was. Due to his past he craves luxury and status. His previous escapades as a con-artist have left him with a strong desire to do good, so he uses the destructive force of black magic to protect others. He has a decent education due to his upbringing and the time he spent among priests, although there are gaps. He tries to show off more when he’s insecure. His primary minion is a spriggan dust bunny named Itsy.

Why is this relevant to Before the Dawn? Well you see...

My guy literally exploited a bunch of sick people for years with his shallow understanding of medicine. This was after losing his adoptive father in a situation he 100% believes was his fault. He did occasionally get told by aforementioned exploited sick people exactly what a terrible piece of filth he was. He is convinced that he's been marked by the god of death.

For perspective, Cenric is mid-to-late twenties. He spent a looooong time impoverished and conning people.

He spent a couple of years residing with the priests of Nald'thal, and Memesu was specifically how he was able to cast anything during the initial levels. His decision to visit Ul'dah and take up formal training as a thaumaturge was very specifically because of being told he has a weird amount of aether. He tried to make an honest living for himself as an adventurer who uses death-magic to protect others, only to achieve WAY more fame, fortune, and influence than he thinks he's properly earned or deserves. But I mean who's going to look that gift horse in the mouth? Plus it lets him feel like he's making up for some of what he did if he can make things better.

Recruits Crystal Braves personally. Basically all of them turn on him. He gets accused of regicide and bound before his allies without trial. This is after seeing the monarch who naively decided to trust him murdered. His friends largely seem to either get killed or abandon him. He escapes Ul'dah by the skin of his teeth after having been branded a criminal and a monster again.

None of his friends have ever actually asked about his past or what drives him. Technically this is because I mean JRPG where everyone does their Warrior of Light differently, but I'm gonna run with it as a thing that happens. Alphinaud meanwhile, a teenager who has given every indication of using his quest to save Eorzea to honor his grandfather's legacy, is blaming himself since he was commander of the Crystal Braves. This is despite the fact that it was literally Cenric who chose every member of the Crystal Braves. No one vetted these people, they felt lucky to have any volunteers at all.

While Alphinaud, a major figure to the scions and a teenager clearly in way over his head, is blaming himself... there is a reason besides that JRPG setup that Cenric isn't talking as much. He's very aware that who he is as a person is irrelevant to those around him. He has to be the Warrior of Light as a symbol, and he has to seem steady because having TWO leaders (one a grown man) showing this kind of self-doubt would be pretty shattering.

Internally though, given what I very naively put in for that backstory all of these events are just going to reinforce what Cenric has believed about himself all along. He is poison, he has always been poison. It's his nature to be a destructive force who kills everyone he touches. Even if intellectually he understands this was a coup, this overall feels like more of a wake-up call. It makes zero sense for him to have risen to the level of strength and influence he had, or to gain the trust of everyone including literal rulers and deities the way he has. These people were seriously naive and grossly misread what he actually is.

Cenric feels the need to explain this to his remaining friends and allies, because if they keep trusting him 1) he's going to fail them again 2) they will probably end up dead. Midgardsomr at least recognized he was fake and had earned nothing, least of all Hydaelyn's blessing. That further validates all the aforementioned "I am a plague upon humanity" sentiments.

Alphinaud snaps out of his issues by more or less saying it would be dumb to throw everything away in a fit of self-pity. In that moment Cenric realizes he is absolutely not able to tell anyone what's going on, even if he's unsure whether his motives are self-pity or being legitimately terrified that he is going to get everyone killed. This is breakneck speed on the breakdown train. Can't show that though, gotta JRPG smile/nod encouragingly because that's what everyone else needs from the Warrior of Light.

Meanwhile Midgardsomr drops that lovely bit looking to Ishgard. "Thou thinkest thou will find salvation here? Delusion, death, despair. Thou will find naught else here." Or something to that effect, I missed exact phrasing. But yeah, zero comfort to be had in the cute little dragon god. Cenric's like yeah you're right I'll probably murder everyone in Ishgard too. :|

And I do know about Haurchefant. It is destiny.

I have all kinds of fun writing angst yeah, but I’m basically laughing rn because straight up I didn’t even mean for this to go as heavy as it did. Enjoy some cinematic angsty Camp Dragonhead pics while friends are in the next room blissfully unaware lol.

#final fantasy xiv #final fantasy xiv screenshots #final fantasy 14 #hyur midlander #black mage