#toxic purity culture

[sjbattleangel]

#irredeemable media #purity culture #toxic purity culture #satire #humour #comedy #sillyposting #silly poll #media literacy #stupid stuff #parody #humor #comic books #video games #comics #cartoons #animation #tumblr polls

[superectojazzmage]

Will literally never understand people who think “but you’re talking about kids media!!!!” is a good comeback to people rightfully complaining online about minors barging into adult spaces and screaming “GROOMER PEDO” at everyone. Like, it doesn’t matter if the conversation subject is a kids show, it’s still ADULTS SPEAKING TO OTHER ADULTS IN AN ENVIRONMENT AIMED AT ADULTS. Whether they’re conversation subjects are appropriate for kids or not is irrelevant, it’s still grown ass people conversing amongst themselves as adults. You’re on a website that used to have go nuts show nuts as an official policy for God’s sake.

Minors need to butt the fuck out and stay in spaces that are safe for them, because leaving aside the fact that adult spaces are not meant for them and can lead to them being exposed to things harmful for them, it can also end up getting the adults in those spaces traumatized or in serious legal trouble. You shouldn’t even be on Tumblr or going anywhere near online fandom spaces if you’re under 16 at least, so stay the tuck away from adults who are talking with other adults — online or off — and don’t fucking be trying to act all high and mighty about people talking about whatever the fuck they feel like.

And let’s not even get started on how the antis who encourage and say this kind of shit turn out to be creepers themselves 9 times out 10…

#antis #anti anti #proshippper #pro ship #proshipping #minors dni #dni minors #toxic purity culture #toxic fandom #fandom discourse #fandom problems #fandom drama #purity culture #fandom culture #fandom #fandom ships #antis be like #neo puritans #tumblr drama #tumblr #tumblr culture

[katebushsbabushka]

I think my favorite "wtf" story about being raised by strict parents was the time I was in college and my boyfriend at the time and I had to sit outside in his car in the middle of winter because we got home before my parents, and we weren't allowed inside the house by ourselves. Mind you, it was sleeting, and neither of my parents would answer their phones, and we couldn't keep the heat on in his car because it was an older model that was falling apart. The only reason we didn't just go inside is because we both knew if my parents caught us in the house together there would be hell to pay for both of us, and we didn't want to risk it.

But, you know, when my parents got home hours later and saw us sitting in the car angrily, my mom got upset with me and said I was going to give my bf pneumonia. Fun times.

#strict parents #religious parents #emotional abuse #psychological abuse #evangelical parents #strict religious parents #tw strict parenting #i think its funny now kinda #it just makes me angry how some parents try to baby their children when theyre in college #like come on now #purity culture #toxic purity culture #toxic parents #croissant talks

[addyyyysworld]

-Discussion about Toxic Purity Culture-

Being surrounded in such a toxic culture, I don’t understand how this is still a going on thing. Why are we always trying to shame someone? What someone chooses to do with their own bodies is their business. This pressure is typically about girls more than guys, but it can be the other way too. Why is society telling girls that their worth is placed on what happens with their body. Once you are “unpure” you are gross and disgusting and used property. You will never be the same. It’s a “sin” and you will be punished. Yet on the flip side, for guys it’s a game, it’s bragging rights. Most of the time this culture is ties to religious backgrounds. Forcing someone into your toxic molds won’t do anyone any good.

#purity #purity culture #toxic purity culture #discussion #debate #thoughts? #religion #thoughts #social justice #feminism #toxicity #women #society #christianity #mental health #growing up

[rider-of-the-circular-equine]

If you at any point write “fanfiction” you should be put to death for violating copyright law and therefore the NAP.

#freeblr #libertarian #fanfiction #fanfic #anti anti #non aggression principle #anarchism #anarchocapitalism #public domain #liberty memes #anti #proship #proship safe #toxic anti culture #anti shippers #toxic purity culture #antis make fandoms toxic #antise are problematic #fandom purity culture #fandom

[meiliarotten]

could you do demo, sniper, heavy and medic with virgin reader?? I have a hc that medic has a big ass corruption kink and the idea of deflowering someone turns him on oh so much. And other mercs are just find readers shyness cute and trying not to hurt you but make you feel good!

Virgin Reader Headcanons (Demo, Heavy, Medic, Sniper)

🔞Minors DNI🔞

The Masterlist

💥 Demoman 💥

Demo definitely finds your shyness cute as hell, and he’ll let you know it too

He loves watching the way you go red from his gentle teasing

I think this would actually be his way of making you feel more at ease, playfully teasing and poking fun at some of the more awkward aspects of sex and first times

He would talk you through the experience, always making sure you're aware and okay with what he’s doing

He’ll probably make you come at least once before the “main event,” either fingering you or going down on you to help you loosen up a bit.

Definitely let him know that you’re enjoying what he’s doing! Feedback, people!

Not only does he enjoy it (*cough* praise kink *cough*) but it also lets him learn exactly what you like

🥊 Heavy 🥊

Caution is this man’s middle name when it comes to this scenario

Heavy “Caution” Weapons Guy. (This was funnier at 3:00 AM)

I am a massive dick Heavy truther, so obviously that factors in here

Not only are you gonna be having sex for the first time but you’re gonna be tackling that

Lube is a must, of course, and this man is about to become the king of foreplay

Lots of communication, and not just verbal, either. Heavy would be super attentive to your body language, taking note of any tension or signs of pain

Once you’re comfortable though, he starts to relax, probably letting you ride him so that you can control the pace while he lays back, admiring you

He is also the king of aftercare. You’re definitely gonna be sore afterwards, but he’ll make sure you feel thoroughly pampered

🏥 Medic 🏥

I feel like Medic, while he’s definitely aware of the delicacies that come with a person’s virginity, would absolutely treat the encounter like an experiment

How do you react to this kind of stimuli? What sensations do you most enjoy? Do you like pain?

Basically this guy’s head is full of questions and hypotheses

Which, to be honest, is how most first times go. It’s all about trial and error.

However, anon, I see your headcanon, and it has given me thoughts!

I think the initial “deflowering” would be a more calculated and gentle encounter

Afterwards though, Medic would definitely try to slowly introduce you to kinkier things- Exhibitionism, impact play, collars, the list goes on!

And of course, he treats all of this like an experiment too, studying you closely throughout every scene, watching your sexuality change and grow

You are a precious little specimen to him

🦘 Sniper 🦘

Foreplay will instantly become a priority

Even if you would prefer to simply jump right in, Sniper would insist on the importance of it

It’s almost like he has a checklist in his head- makeouts, leading to caressing, leading to groping, leading to… etc etc.

It couldn’t possibly be because he’s touch starved, of course not (/s)

While I don’t think he places much stock in “virginity,” he will respect those who do

As such, he’ll put in the effort to make sure your first time is a good experience

He takes this task seriously, but will occasionally find humor in it, especially if you’re the first to laugh

And of course, aftercare and cuddles are a necessity.

#tf2 x reader #merc x reader #minors dni #smut #tf2 smut #team fortress 2 #tf2 #tf2 headcanons #heavy tf2 #tf2 medic #sniper tf2 #demoman tf2 #demo tf2 #and as a disclaimer virginity is a social construct #but some people still hold it in high regard and there’s no shame in that #just don’t let it be a source of shame. purity culture is toxic #fanfiction #fanfic #tf2 fanfiction #rotten asks

[raelle-writing]

Build Jakapan Case Update + My Thoughts

It’s the middle of the night for me but I thought you all should know that it was announced that Poi and Build have settled in court. Both have published letters that agree and admit that Poi lied about everything and Build is innocent.

Here is Build’s Letter and translation:

And here is Poi’s letter and translation:

(Both translations done by @.yakibbb on Twitter)

This likely isn’t the end as her admitting her falsehoods will have to be a condition of the settlement and there will likely still be a hearing to nail down the damages she has to pay. But her settling like this confirms what I suspected for a long time: she has no evidence. Everything she’s ever accused him of came from her own mind. I suspected that from the start when she came out so strong and said she was going to sue him, and then just… did not.

I have some concerns. I will admit I haven’t been neutral in quite a while because Poi gave me no reason to trust her and every reason not to with her inconsistencies and Pinterest-picture evidence. I like to believe victims but i also firmly follow “trust, but verify” as a mantra. And I couldn’t verify anything she said. I could, however, see the inconsistencies and the coincidental timings and the conveniently cropped screenshots she shared as “proof” of him being so awful.

I digress.

I am concerned that since a mere couple of days ago she was slandering him live on TikTok that she won’t stop now, even with the settlement. I’m equally concerned that a settlement won’t be enough to clear Build’s name in the eyes of his neutral fans. I had hoped he’d take the case all the way so that the evidence would come out. But then again, this is a deeply private matter so I don’t blame him for wanting to keep his evidence private.

I have absolutely no hope that this will change the minds of people who are determined to hate him. But I do have hope that people who went neutral will see this and appropriately change their minds about him and this matter.

I am a bit concerned about what a case like this means for “believe the victim!” Since Poi obviously exploited that exact mentality as she defamed him, knowing it would ruin him to even be accused of something like this regardless of if he did it. I don’t think it’s a bad thing for more people to take the “trust but verify” approach… however I’m concerned that cases like this will be pointed to when discrediting real victims and dismissing their cases as simple misunderstandings. Because at the core of it, it seems like this was a messy break up that went really, really wrong.

I have no real closing thoughts here other than:

1. This isn’t quite over though I don’t know if we’ll get exact settlement details in the future.

2. I’ll be watching carefully to see if she actually stops with her erratic, defaming behavior or not. I’m not entirely sure she’s capable of stopping, so I’m concerned he may end up having to sue again if she breaks the settlement.

3. I think people need to be a bit more critical about believing people blindly BUT should still default to believing the victim in most cases to avoid using bad examples like this to discredit real victims.

4. This will do nothing to change people who are determined to hate Build’s mentality and I don’t expect it to. It was never about abuse for them, only blind hatred.

5. It’ll be interesting to see how Build’s life and career progress after all of this, especially juxtaposed against all the other Thai BL actors who are having problematic behavior come to light lately…

#this got longer than I meant it to #but I have many thoughts and this was just some #I also feel a soapbox about toxic purity culture and cancellation in me somewhere but that can wait for when it’s not 4am #build jakapan #poi #Build and Poi #build jakapan puttha #Build Jakapan case #Build

[jessiarts]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but no one ever learns from being yelled at.

I've watched from the sidelines of many discourses/"cancellings"/what-have-youse that've happened around the internet and one thing I've noticed is none of the "Internet Public Enemies" ever learned from their mistakes or changed their minds by being bullied, receiving death threats, or threats of cancelling.

At best I've seen rejected public apologies. At worst I've seen people have genuine mental breakdowns and develop intense fear of ever speaking up again in case they accidentally say the wrong thing or their thoughts are misconstrued. Because the human mind is simply not equipped to deal with the very real effect of hundreds of thousands of people very loudly saying how much they hate you and that thing you said.

You know what I have seen change people's minds, though? Kindness.

I know, it sounds corny and not nearly as satisfying for some, but I've genuinely seen more people change their ways of thinking when someone has taken time to have a calm conversation with them instead of screaming back.

I think we need to try more love with these interactions. The goal should be to get the other person to grow as a person, not to "win" because you made the "bad person" leave the internet. Most people genuinely don't want to be hurtful, they just aren't informed.

The best way I can put it is to think about it like raising a child.

When a child says or does something bad, and they get screamed at and/or smacked, they don't "learn their lesson." The person who yelled at and/or hit them only took out their own frustration on that child, they didn't teach them anything. The child doesn't learn why what they said or did was hurtful or why they shouldn't do it again, they only become afraid of the punishment and usually try to find ways not to get caught the next time. They also just become resentful of the person who screamed at/hit them.

However, when a child says or does something bad and instead they are sat down and talked to like a person about why what they said/did was harmful, they're more likely to learn from that mistake and not do it again. Yes, they may mess up a few more times now and again as they're still learning and not perfect, but as long as you keep coming back to them and calmly explaining to them that what they did wasn't very nice and why, they'll grow as a person and learn they can trust the person who helped them through it.

The same is very much true of adults. I know it can be frustrating when someone who we believe should know better about something doesn't, but we also can't go after everyone like they are a Big Bad Evil for making a mistake either. (Save that energy for corporations.)

Will there be some people who just won't listen no matter how much it's explained why their behavior is hurtful? Of course, but they likely won't be the norm. And it's perfectly ok not to consume the content of someone who makes you uncomfortable. It's ok to state your disappointment and leave them to slip into irrelevance. But I've rarely seen a big flashy announcement for a boycott of a person result in that person believing anything other than they were being persecuted and then doubling down on why their behavior wasn't bad.

It's honestly a very Terminally Online thing to do, assuming everyone is meaning to be a bad person for supporting or saying the wrong things, and propagating the idea that if you mess up you must grovel for forgiveness that will never come because mistakes mean you are inherently bad forever and can never change.

Honestly I believe that's why so many people double down when confronted anymore. The internet has cultivated a culture with no forgiveness. Admitting you were wrong has become weakness in the internet's eyes- Better to double down and show everyone how Right™ you are and really how Wrong™ those bullies who disagree actually are. And if someone does come to change their mind, they're met with jeers for not getting there sooner or for believing the wrong thing in the first place. It's toxic.

We need to allow apologies and encourage growth and guidance. We need to let people know that if people make a mistake they'll still be welcome when they change that behavior. And also that they won't be met with some variation of "See, was that so hard?!" or "FINALLY!" That's important too.

We can't punish the behavior we want to see, and punishment isn't going to help us see that behavior.

#idk what to tag this? #idk who needs to hear this #social justice #discourse #internet mobs #purity culture #cancel culture #accountability culture #fandom discourse #? #idk #i suck at tagging #behavior #toxic behavior #care #changing #internet culture #twitter culture #tumblr culture #jessi rambles

[strangelock221b]

Just saw a post stating that an actor needs to justify something their character is rumored to do in his show's upcoming season.

Are you fucking shitting me?

Since when does an actor need to be their character's defense lawyer?

This is the same fucked-up mentality that says authors need to spell out every bad thing their character does and why it's immoral.

Bridgerton fans, I know you're upset about the rumors but fucking hell, don't let the purity police fool you into thinking actors need to take responsibility for their characters' decisions.

#bridgerton #colin bridgerton #holy fucking shit‚ this fandom is so toxic #purity culture #purity police #learn the difference between reality and fiction ffs

[winterdragon101]

I made this because I needed one lmao

Shop launch June 12th on Etsy! Our name is DenHaven Queerities!

#cult #exvangelical #sticker #art #exchristian #cult survivor #purity culture #toxic religion #exevangelical #lgbt

[sarcastic-salem]

Sitting here trying to figure out how people don’t realize that Twilight just portrays waterdowned purity culture, complete with child brides. And that maybe Stephanie Meyer stays off social media because she’s a self-professed conservative Mormon, and every week there’s a new documentary coming out about how fucking vile Mormonism is.

And the more you read about the books the more horrifying it gets…..

#books #book blog #bookblr #booklr #books and reading #book nerd #bibliophile #bookworm #booklover #reading #ya novels #religion #mormonism #stephenie meyer #twilight #the twilight saga #twihards #feminism #toxic feminism #purity culture #jfc #real talk #vampires #nerd problems #nerd culture #social media

[anti-girl-defined]

So does anyone have parents who tell you to dress a certain way and to "cover up"? Like

No short shorts

No V necks,

No see through material or shirts that have any openings

No two piece swimsuits,

All that.

Ever thought, huh...weird. Guess what they're perverts.

#anti christianity #purity culture #anti purity culture #toxic christianity #anti girl defined #modesty culture

[darkcrowprincess]

I'm glad there's a Percy Jackson fandom Renaissance. But I'm afraid of it getting toxic. Do to fandom purity culture. Mean percabeth shippers and book Annabeth stans. And just in general annoying fandom drama bullshit I hate. I swear it's going to happen. At least Greek Mythology and the books are getting love.

(Don't like don't read. Post hate and I'll block you)

#my thoughts #Percy Jackson fandom Renaissance #Percy Jackson Renaissance #percy jackson #anti percabeth #anti #anti annabeth chase #anti toxicity #anti Fandom purity culture #anti purity culture

[nothing0fnothing]

People don't beleive me when I say my dad disowned me over spaghetti so I'm gonna tell you the story of how I found out I was adopted to kinda, give context to his character.

I was 12 and the last time I saw my birth father I was 3 or 4, so I just grew up with the assumption that the people I lived with were both my birth parents. I'd just started at my secondary school and everything was fine.

While I was at that secondary school I reconnected with my cousin, who I hadn't seen for about 4 years. Because we had met and talked he decided to drop by my parents house to see my mum one day after school. We never talked about it, I had no idea he was planning on coming round.

I was in the kitchen playing with PlayDoh while the rest of my family were pottering about and my dad noticed a boy around my age in the uniform for my school, walking up the drive to our front door.

He didn't recognise him as my cousin, because he'd grown up so much since he last saw him. So he assumed, before he'd even knocked the door, before he even spoke to him, before he even saw his face, that my cousin was my boyfriend. So he began screaming.

He started, demanding to know why there were boys coming to the house to call for me, insisting I was playing dumb, and accusing me of doing something to cause this interaction.

My mum had entered the kitchen as my cousin knocked on the door and he told my mum that I was her daughter, not his, that he wanted their parenting in future to reflect that and that she needed to deal with this herself because he was not my real father.

Then he answered the door and realised it was my cousin.

So like, yeah, he was absolutely the type of guy to disown me over pasta.

I didn't get an apology, nobody explained any of it to me, whenever I asked wtf this "I'm not your real dad" tantrum was both my parents pretended it didn't happen and that I was making it up.

#narcissistic abuse #raised by narcissists #vent post #toxic parents #traumatic but funny #funny but sad #parental abuse #adopted #purity culture #childhood trauma #dysfunctional family #dysfunctional household

[bookshop]

Kit Connor and queer-coded media

re: Kit Connor having to out himself to satisfy the the demands of Heartstopper fans who were angry that he was seen maybe dating a woman: I think insisting that only queer people can tell queer stories is to fundamentally misunderstand the role of queer-coded media! Often we're drawn to queer, trans and queer/trans-coded stories long before we're even out to ourselves. If you insist that only someone who fully knows themselves can tell queer stories, you're inevitably going to force people out of the closet before they're ready; or, in worst-case scenarios (like that of Isabel Fall), you'll inevitably force people even more deeply into the closet. Honestly this conversation should have ended with Isabel Fall, but the fact it didn't makes me think we are doomed to repeat this toxic cycle. Also I'm thinking about how, during the Angels in America revival, Lee Pace was forced to out himself as gay while everyone has totally forgiven Andrew Garfield for calling himself "gay without the physical act" bc he watched some RuPaul to prepare for the role. Lol. In other words, insisting on #ownvoices to a toxic degree will not stop straight cis people from appropriating queer and trans stories. It *will* stop queer and genderqueer people from being able to express themselves. I also think it's important to recognize the value of queer coding — the stories that are subtextually but not overtly queer, either because they're deliberately made that way or because their writer doesn't know they're queer yet. Especially in light of the renewed push to ban queer stories from school, subtextually queer stories are vital, because, by existing in the margins, they're able to fly under the radar of homophobic censorship, and that then allows queer kids to discover them and grab hold of them and be inspired by them while they're still in the process of figuring themselves out. And it should go without saying that absolutely none of this has anything to do with queerbaiting, which is what happens when a media production deliberately tries to court a larger audience using titillating gay subtext it has no intention of fulfilling. But since it apparently doesn't go without saying, please read the many, many things I've written about queerbaiting, starting with this tumblr post about the origins of queerbaiting (and how the current usage is distinctly a Tumblr phenomenon), this 2013 article about "slashtivism," this 2016 article about toxic fandom shipping, and the Daily Dot's "queerbaiting" tag.

#heartstopper #queerbaiting #toxic fandom #sigh #queer subtext #ownvoices #kinda wondering if this is an overlap with purity culture but #like hell am i gonna tag my second ever return-to-tumblr post with 'purity culture'

[nerdby]

#comic books #graphic novels #video games #cartoons #fanfiction #fandom #toxic fandom #animal crossing #pokemon #marvel comics #memes #true memes #unfunny memes #fucking truth #puriteens #purity culture #bullying #abuse #cyberbullying #just want people to be as miserable as you are #nerd life #nerd problems #nerd girl problems #nerd thoughts