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#ty guys for not taking advantage of a desperate situation
fuwaprince · 9 months
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#so i have bad news tht im too sad to share rn.#🥹 it'll be ok... just... aaaa....#man am i rly hurt and then it gets worse bc my mom has no respect for me as a person#she comes over unannounced and yells performatively w/ windows rolled down#acting like she cares when she doesn't give 2 shits once eyes aren't on ber#ty for reading sorry it wasn't very happy#my chest hurts#kinda just sitting here don't know what to do#mom came over trying to shove some food in my face (that comes with an unspoken catch where she gets to abuse me and justify it#bc 'look how much i do for you!!!')#i rejected it and she kept asking invasive questions#like whos driving me amd and what my weekly schedule is and will be for the next few months#she asked if i was hanging with xyz probs so she could go drive around their house/stake it out 🙄#in hopes of seeing me and pulling some fucked up humiliating stunt#she kept telling me tht her withholding my legal documents and mail from me is justified???#like wtf stop trying to take away my agency i am a fully competent grown ass person#and i dont welcome her manipulation disguised as help. i hate it dude#ty guys for all the helpfulness and kindness#ty guys for not taking advantage of a desperate situation#i acknowledge the selfless sacrifice and it means so much#truly just wanting to help#no other motives...#i wish it was like that irl#i told her what she's doing is illegal and she can literally tell it to authorities#dENY ME MY RIGHTS AGAIN 🤬 GRRRGRGRGRGRGRGRGRG BARK BARK BARK BEGONE!!!!
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moon7jay · 5 months
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i have big boobs and i just feel like heeseung a boob guy ( just feeding into my delusions ) like he’s OBSESSED with tits he constantly needs to be sucking, touching, looking or even fucking tits. if he isn’t able to do any of those things he becomes a whiny mess:( begging you to let him do something to your gorgeous big tits i also lowkey feel like he like to show his partner off so he would make them wear something that shows there boobs off letting everyone know that there his.
i might have went insane…….. can i be ⚫️anon?
Yes ofc ⚫ anon, here u go!
MINORS DNI
Let me tell u that hee IS definitely a boob guy, I just feel like he would go cross eyed if you wore anything with a deep neckline around him, just straight up drooling. It's like his thoughts are limited when your tits are in his line of vision- suck or fuck.
And don't get me wrong, not only in a sexual manner, he would also be obsessed with your boobs in a literal manner, hands always under your top, just squeezing on them, like a form of stress relief.
He had a bad day? Best believe he's gonna be nuzzling his face In those titties, arms around your waist while he rants to u about his day. There's not a better place to die to him than in between your tits.
But he's also a horny man and you are a carefree girl just prancing around your apartment without a bra on, not noticing how your boyfriend's eyes are laser focused on them beauties, his mind not registering a single word jake is telling him on the phone, quickly hanging up on him to rush to your side. Caging you against the kitchen counter, hands already kneading your boobs, dick rock hard and throbbing in his sweats as he tells you how bad he needs u to give him a titty fuck.
You know how needy he gets for you and u always use it to your advantage, getting him to do things which he won't do in normal situations
"Will u let me tie u up? " U ask him, smiling triumphantly at the way his eyes track the necklace with his initial sitting so prettily between your cleavage it makes him groan out loud
"Anything, do anything with me darling"
And u do. Tying him up and edging him till he's a whiny mess, just rubbing your tits against his dick, giving him enough friction to make him leak precum but not enough to cum.
You run his swollen cockhead on your pebbled nipples and then take your own nipple into your mouth, just moaning around it, all the while maintaining eye contact with his desperate lust blown eyes
"U wish u could do that huh baby?" u giggle as he nods vigorously
"u have no fucking idea"
When tears start falling from his eyes with how good his cock feels being fucked by your plush tits, you finally decide to give him much needed relief and squeeze your tits tighter, lubricating your cleavage with your saliva, making it extra wet and messy for him.
And when u lick his cum off of your chest with your fingers after he busts a nut on you, he swears he sees heaven. The initial of his name around your neck covered in his cum makes him feel like a caveman.
Possessiveness wise too, he acts like a caveman tho. Will never control what u wear but if u decide to flaunt your curves and cleavage while y'all are out, u bet that heeseung's territorial hand around your waist ain't going nowhere the entire night. His 6 feet long figure hovering over you, feeling proud that u are his, never afraid to show you off but eyeing down every eye that rests more than a few seconds on u.
You definitely are in good hands. Your boobs too.
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Number 4.
Jay again
The blue ninja must suffer!
Jay + Gagged
Ironic :)
Jay's friends called his babbling obnoxious. Master Wu called it distracting. Nya called it cute.
Jay called it a coping mechanism.
And right then, he needed all the coping could get.
So he chatted.
As the Sons Garmadon chained him to a support beam, he commented on ever aspect of their outfits. He talked about the most boring ninja missions the team had ever been on. He explained the plot of not one, not two, but twenty-three Starfarer comics. He told the absolute worst jokes in his entire pun arsenal. He launched rapid fire questions at the guards without waiting for an answer.
Jay had long since perfected his act: pitching his voice perfectly to be as squeaky as possible, wearing them down, letting his words grate and grate and grate until the henchmen would rather face the wrath of their higher ups than listening to his drone. If he was talking, he was in control.
And besides all that, if he didn't focus on something random to babble on about, the reality of his situation would set in.
And then he would panic.
And there would be no coming back from that.
Luckily, with the SoG, he was chill as could be. And they were close to breaking-- he could see it in their eye twitches. Soon he would be home to brag about his 'daring' escape to his friends.
He miscalculated.
"ENOUGH!!!" one of the guys roared.
"Nah, I'm not done! There are still seven steps left in Kai's hair care routine. You definitely need that, dude. I can see your split ends from all the way over here. In fact, as you walk closer, I can see even more-- hey hey wait what are you doing?! What are you doing?!?!"
The thug tore Jay's ninja mask off his face, ripping it in two ragged pieces.
"Dude! Not cool! You know we have those custom made, right? You can't just-- MMMFFPH!"
Taking advantage of Jay's chatter, the man roughly shoved a wad of blue fabric into his open mouth. It hit the back of his throat, triggering his gag reflex.
Before he had time to spit it out, the thug slammed the back of Jay's head against the metal beam. Stars popped in front of his eyes. Dazed, he couldn't even struggle as the rest of the mask was tied across his mouth. The man tightened the knot, painfully tying in some of Jay's curly hair in the process.
He rammed Jay's skull against the metal beam once more for good measure, and walked away, chuckling.
Jay tried to make a noise around the wad of slowly moistening fabric. He choked.
Tears filled his eyes as he gagged. Jay breathed rapidly through his nose, desperate not to throw up; it would have nowhere to go.
His jaw already ached, and drool was starting to slide down his chin from him inability to close his mouth or move his lips.
And then he realized how quiet it was.
Silence.
They were not going to let him go. Who knew what they were going to do with him now. He was trapped. A prisoner.
Trapped trapped trapped trapped trapped trapped trapped trapped trapped--
Jay screamed through his mask, high and reedy. The SoG guards just laughed. He thrashed, feeling his chains tug at his wrists.
His breath quickened, sharp and shallow though his nose. No no no no he was going to hyperventilate-- but now he was only panicking more!
Jay groaned through his mask, choking again.
"Shut it," the other guard scoffed. "Next time we'll cut out your tongue."
Jay squeezed his eyes shut and let tears slide down his face.
Silent. And powerless.
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Don’t Go Baking My Heart || Seokjin
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Pairing: Seokjin x reader
Summary: You fall in love with Kim Seokjin’s bakery after wandering into it to take advantage of the post-Valentine’s Day discount on the chocolates. Maybe it’s the owner’s bad jokes, maybe it’s the other regulars, maybe it’s the delicious pastries. Or maybe there’s something more that keeps you coming back to that shop.
Also available on Ao3.
Word count: 14.7k
Genre: Strangers (to Friends) to Lovers, Bakery AU, tooth-rotting Fluff, some smut
Warnings & Tags: mentions of insecurities and of former relationships, smut (vaginal sex, oral [male receiving], fingering), Jin makes Bad Jokes, Valentine’s Day themed
A/N: Soooo this was supposed to come out for Valentine’s Day, but it wasn’t ready then, so you guys get it now instead! I’m bad with puns so I definitely had to look online for those used in this oops. Finally, I’d like to give a big thank you to the amazing @elidebrey​ who actually worked in a bakery shop and told me all about (I’m sorry you guys ran out of milk all the time). She’s an amazing writer and you should check her out if you like the Batfam! Hope you’ll enjoy this one-shot!
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February 15th
You first walk into Kim Seokjin’s bakery the day after Valentine’s Day. Your eye was caught by the chocolates and cakes you noticed on sale from the outside, and also the name of the place, The Rolling Scones, which is either genius or terrible, you can’t pick. The door bell chimes happily, first when you push the door open and then when it closes behind you.
The place is empty. There’s no one behind the counter, and you find yourself hesitating there for a second, both arms behind your back like a shy schoolgirl — which you once were, but that was a while ago now. Natural light, the cold sun of February, is falling through the bay windows, and the place is cute, clearly decorated with love and care. It makes you feel just a little warmer inside.
Since no one seems to be showing up, you take your time to look at the display. You’ve spent the past week crying over the end of your two year relationship, and you’re desperately craving something sweet and sugary to fill the hole in your heart and in your life. Post Valentine’s Day discount is definitely the best way to do that.
If you’re being completely honest with yourself, you knew this relationship was never going to be your forever. It was just a nice and comfortable situation to be in, and you expected you and him to part ways at some point.
You just didn’t particularly expect it to be now.
“Jungkook!” a strong voice shouts from the back of the shop, startling you. It’s quickly followed by a curse, and then a man walks in, glancing back with a worried expression, tying an apron around his waist and adjusting a small black hat on his head. You notice the ‘Jungkook’ tag on his apron, and it makes you soften in sympathy. The second his eyes fall on you, he recomposes himself, and shoots you a smile that’s professional, though the nervousness doesn’t quite disappear. “What can I do for you?”
“I was just looking,” you say, and he leans forward, probably straining to hear. Your voice has always had that weird tendency to become inaudible when you’re talking to strangers. “You don’t have anything with strawberries, do you?”
“I’m afraid everything we had went yesterday,” he says with a sympathetic frown.
“Oh, right,” you mumble. You’re disappointed to a stupid degree, and you know it’s because your emotions have been running wild recently, to the point where any small contrariety threatens to make you cry. Fortunately, you don’t, right now. That would be horribly embarrassing. “Um, I guess I’ll take that box and, uh, the éclair, please, then.”
“Of course!”
His movements are quick and precise as he takes it out, and you could be mistaken, but you think he’s deliberately not looking at you. You’re not particularly blaming him for it, though, because you’re doing the exact same thing.
“Anything else?” he asks once he’s done, and you shake your head, avoiding eye contact. “For here or to go? We’re also a café,” he elaborates when you give him a surprised — and slightly panicked — glance.
“Oh. To go, please,” you say, not so much because you actually want to, and much more because you’re bad at changing your plans when you had already made your decision.
Except… You eye the bakery. It’s not like you have anyone to come back to, and you don’t particularly want to be back at your apartment to wallow alone. You might even get some things done while you’re here.
“Um, actually, would you mind if I…?” The question dies on your lips. You’re already feeling too embarrassed to continue, but he looks up, eyes wide, and nods.
“No, no, please take a seat! Do you want something to drink as well?”
“That— That would be nice, actually.”
“Alright, just give me a second and I’ll bring you our, er, menu.”
It’s not a menu, it’s a list of drinks the owner printed and coated with plastic, and insists on calling a menu, but he isn’t going to tell you that.
You pick a table that faces the door, and after choosing and ordering your tea, pull out your computer. It’s not that the things you have to do can’t wait, but you don’t like sitting alone doing nothing. The shop is desperately empty, and part of you is terrified by the idea that Jungkook could come over to talk to you. That would probably end up not being completely unpleasant, but you’re not sure you can handle that much interaction with other human beings right now.
While scrolling through the text you are currently working on editing, you pick a chocolate out of the box to eat it and hold back a satisfied moan at the taste. The fact that it’s so good makes you feel a little more upset that you’ve never been in a relationship for Valentine’s Day and therefore have never been given anything like that.
It’s always been bad luck really, because you’ve been in a few relationships, but even with your last boyfriend, the two of you were on a break in February. The others never made it longer than a few months, and never fell at the right time. It’s not even like you want to celebrate Valentine’s Day, you do think it’s mostly a commercial holiday, and you definitely don’t want any expensive gift, but you’d be happy to have someone by your side to make fun of other couples with. Someone to love you, and someone to love.
God, you want to be in love so bad. For a few months, you thought you had it with your ex, and maybe you did, for a moment, but it had slipped from your fingers without you managing to do anything about it, leaving you sad and empty. You want to feel everything the movies and books promised, the butterflies in the stomach, the rush in the beat of your heart. You want to feel like someone holds your world in their hands. You want them to love you back — really love you, so much that you’ll catch them looking at you and see it in their eyes immediately, so much that they’ll remember how you like your tea in the morning.
You don’t think your ex ever loved you, and you don’t really blame him for that. He liked you, certainly, and for a long time that was enough for you. But now, with it being over and him telling you he’d ‘met someone’, you want more out of your next relationship.
Then again, you’d thought that last time as well.
You’re grateful when Jungkook brings you your tea, tearing you away from thoughts you really don’t want to be having right now. He gives you a smile, then is quick to retreat back behind the counter, and something tells you that he has the same difficulties talking to people as you do.
That can’t make his job fun.
You’re soon able to immerse yourself in your work, much to your surprise. Usually, you’re hyper aware of your surroundings, and it’s hard to get work done unless you’re in a place that’s both quiet and familiar, but the atmosphere in here is so warm and pleasant that you’re able to relax and focus, all while drinking your tea and eating your sweets. It’s quite close to perfect, actually.
Which is why you jump violently when someone’s voice booms into the shop.
“Jeon Jungkook!”
You look up, panicked, and Jungkook turns around with the exact same look on his face. You don’t remember the doorbell ringing, so it has to be someone from the shop, and indeed, a tall man with short black hair walks in from the same place Jungkook entered. And your brain short-circuits.
It doesn’t happen all that often, for you to simply find yourself frozen because of how good-looking someone is, but in that case, you just can’t help it. The man who just walked in is tall, with very nice, broad shoulders, and the apron he is wearing underlines the muscles of his chest in ways you didn’t think were possible, but more than that, he’s also, quite possibly, the most handsome man you’ve ever laid eyes on. When you glance at his plump, full lips, you find yourself having a hard time to tear yourself away. You’re relieved that you didn't have to order from him, because you’re sure it would have made you blush and stutter.
“Jungkook, there’s a mess in the back! What are you waiting fo—” Jungkook gives panicked glances in your direction, and the man catches your presence from the corner of his eyes, turning his sentence around as smoothly as is humanly possible, all while his lips curve up into a professional smile. “Ooh, hello, dear customer! I don’t think we’ve seen you here before, have we?”
A smile spills on your mouth, much to your surprise.
“No, it’s my first time here,” you answer. Your voice isn’t as strong as you’d like for it to be, but at least you didn’t choke. You suppose still being heartbroken serves as a shield against the man’s handsomeness. “I figured there’d be some discount after Valentine’s Day, and I was hungry, so…”
“You figured you’d kill two birds with one scone?” the man asks while Jungkook, behind him, silently smacks his forehead. You figure he’s heard it a million time before, but you haven’t, and you can’t help but laugh. That makes the man’s smile widen genuinely and his eyes crease.
“I guess you came up with the bakery name,” you chuckle.
“Absolutely. Isn’t it a great name?”
Jungkook shakes his head in disgust.
“It’s genius,” you say, and the man slams his hand on the table.
“See? I told you! Jungkook keeps saying that I have a terrible sense of humor—”
“I’ll be in the back if you need me,” Jungkook grumbles.
“Hey, what do we say to customers?”
“Ah— It was nice to meet you!” he says, turning around to look at you and he seems somewhat sincere. “I hope we’ll be seeing you again.”
Then he bows his head politely and disappears in the back of the shop. The other man — who you suppose is the owner of the place — watches, laughing fondly, but goes quiet after that, so you go back to your work.
You don’t stay around too long, not wanting to overstay your welcome, but you’re still the only one in the shop by the time you decide to walk out.
“Was the tea any good?” the man asks as you walk by him.
You nod and smile.
“And the chocolates were delicious,” you add. “I’ll make sure to come back.”
“That’s music to my ears,” he says, dramatically putting a hand on his chest. That’s when you notice the ‘Seokjin’ tag on his apron. You don’t know what to do with that information, though. You don’t call strangers by their first name and you also don’t stalk people on line.
Especially not when you don’t have their last name.
You say a quick ‘goodbye’, then walk out. Jin’s eyes follow you for a few seconds, before he sighs and turns around, already taking off his apron.
“Jungkook!”
The boy is quick to appear again, scanning the shop for your presence.
“She’s gone?” he asks, and Jin gives a slap at the back of his employee's head with a groan. There’s no strength in it, though, and Jungkook barely reacts to it.
“How could you run away like that, you little—”
Jungkook easily avoids him when Jin tries to him it again, laughing at his outrage.
“We’re not going to be getting a lot more clients today, are we?” he asks, looking outside at the passers-by that don’t even spare a glance at the little shop.
“No,” Jin groans, letting himself fall on a chair.
The depressing calm that follows what is possibly the busiest day of the year for him is just one of the reasons why he absolutely despises Valentine’s Day.
February 22nd
When you show up at the bakery again, about a week later, you’re feeling surprisingly good about it. Last time went well, you decided, and the people were nice, so you’re not afraid to throw a quiet but polite “Hello!” when you walk in. It’s kind of funny — or is it sad — how it always surprises you when people are nice to you, much more used to passive disinterest at best.
There’s another man in the shop this time, with a laptop and a coffee in front of him, but he doesn’t look up at you. A head lifts up from behind the counter though. You feel vaguely embarrassed that you remember this one is Seokjin, and you only feel more awkward when he gives you a dazzling smile.
A glance at the display tells you that they have restocked on their strawberry-based pastries, and you happily pick a slice of cake for yourself.
“For here or to go?”
“I’ll have it here,” you say with a smile. You feel strangely proud of yourself for being able to say it spontaneously. He has no way of knowing it, but it’s quite the victory for you. Usually, you try to run from the presence of others as fast as you can, and it’s even worse those days. “And I’ll also have Darjeeling tea with it, please.”
“Coming right up, just take a seat and I’ll bring it to you,” he says, and then he winks. He doesn’t stick around to see the surprised look on your face, so you just do as he told you, wondering if he was flirting with you or if he’s just Like That. You think that second explanation might be the answer.
“It’s nice to see you again,” he says when he arrives with the cake and the tea. You’re pretty sure he can’t place you exactly, just thinks your face is familiar, but it still makes you happy.
He tells you he hopes you’ll come back when you leave, and you decide you want to believe it.
June 1st
You’re not sure when you become an official ‘regular’ at the bakery. Maybe it’s when you ask Jin if they even do scones, and he leans over the counter to tell you conspiratorially that he actually wanted to call the shop ‘bake it ’til you make it’, but was told it was too long. That elicits a brief burst of laughter from you, and Jungkook tells you to stop encouraging him, but Seokjin looks so happy with himself when you laugh that you decide not to listen to him. Jin has that way of breaking past your shyness that fascinates you. It might be what keeps you coming back, more than the delicious sweets and how beautiful the two workers look.
Or maybe it’s when Jin tells you that it’s not fair you know their names but they don’t know yours, and that he’d ask you for your ID before selling you stuff if you don't tell him. When you tell him, he repeats it a couple of times, like he’s tasting it, before nodding with satisfaction. After that, him and Jungkook start greeting you with it, and insist you do the same with them. You’re reluctant at first, feeling somewhat confused about the whole thing, but it turns out to feel… nice, to have people to greet, and who also know your name.
Maybe it’s when Jin tells you that you’re late when you come in, or complains when you don’t show up on one of your usual days because you had a meeting with your boss. He doesn’t say anything on the day where you take your pastries to go because you’re visiting a friend at the hospital, though, and you wonder if he can just tell. Regardless, you appreciate it.
You find out about other people who come here frequently, too, and especially the ones who are friends with Jin and Jungkook. Namjoon, who sits with his laptop at the opposite end of the café from you. Yoongi, who usually sits in the same spot as you, and eyes you threateningly when he comes in and you’re there the first time, until Seokjin tells him to knock it off. Taehyung and Jimin, who always come in together, and who Jungkook usually joins to bicker and laugh with them. Hoseok, who likes to waltz in at random times, and whose smile actually rivals Jin’s.
You yourself come in twice a week, getting to your usual place to work — except on the couple of occasions where Yoongi gets there before you and gives you a triumphant smile when he sees you. You enjoy the way you’re always greeted by Jungkook or Seokjin, like they’re genuinely happy to see you. You discover that the old ladies who come here to gossip love to flirt with Jin and that, even though he flirts back outrageously, much to their delight, his ears tend to turn a bright red when he does.
You even bring your friends on a couple of occasion, and Seokjin jokes that you’re responsible for half of his turnover at this point. Your friends enjoy the food, and the drinks, but they enjoy the handsome employees and customers a lot more.
“So this is where all the hot men were,” Hana marvels when you walk out, and you burst out laughing. You like that you’ve shared this place with her, because it’s something that makes you really happy these days, motivates you to come out of your bed, and even to talk to people, something you’ve never been good at.
When you walk into the shop and make small talk with the people you’ve come to know, something you used to consider yourself terrible at, it might be silly, but it kind of feels like home.
June 21st
You are pretty sure you know when you go from regular to friend, though. It’s a day like any other and you hum on your way to the shop. Instead of the joyful “Welcome back, (Y/N)!” that you’ve gotten used to hearing these past few weeks, however, you’re greeted with Seokjin shouting “(Y/N), my savior!”.
You freeze on the spot and give him a worried look. From his table, Namjoon looks up, just as puzzled.
“Is everything okay, Jin?” he asks.
“Jungkook isn’t there today,” Jin tells you. His voice doesn’t sound different from usual, but there is a glint of panic in his eyes.  “I need your help.”
Namjoon stands up.
“Why didn’t you ask me? I could—”
“Stay where you are and don’t even think of approaching my kitchen,” Jin says threateningly. “(Y/N)? Please?”
Well. You suppose your work can get done later. You’re more productive when you come here, so you have some advance on your usual deadlines these days. But you don’t know what Jin wants from you and you’ve never worked in a bakery.
“What do you want me to do?” you ask cautiously.
He grabs your shoulders and your eyes widen at the contact. Not that it’s unpleasant, just unexpected.
“I knew when you first walked in here that you were a godsend,” he tells you seriously, looking right into your eyes, and you tell yourself that if he’s that good of an actor, you should probably watch out. “We’re out of milk.”
You blink.
“Okay. Is there a specific type of milk you want?”
“Just, milk. Get me milk and I’ll worship the ground you walk on until the end of days.”
You roll your eyes at his dramatics, and take your bag off your shoulder, handing it to him.
“Look after that, okay? I’ll be right back.”
“I’ll protect it with my life,” he says solemnly. “Also paper napkins please!” he shouts as you’re already walking out.
“Will do!”
“Bake a leg!”
You want to protest the joke that even you find to be quite bad, but the door has already closed behind you, so you just shake your head at him, only to see him laughing with satisfaction through the glass, and head to the nearest supermarket.
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You come back with two big packs of milk and a lot of paper napkins, just as two men are exiting. You’ve seen them before, but they never stay to chat. Inside, Jin is juggling three women, and he looks more relieved than you’ve ever seen him when you walk in.
“I’ll help you with that,” Namjoon says immediately, bumping in the table as he gets up.
“If you break anything, I’ll kill you,” Jin warns him. He’s smiling like he’s joking, and his tone is light, like he doesn’t want to scare off his customers, but his eyes say he’s sincere.
You’re quick in the back, and Namjoon does drop the packs once, but nothing bad happens. He presses a finger against his lips to tell you to keep it a secret, and you grin without a word. Part of you is kind of wondering what you’re doing there, why Jin feels comfortable letting you in the back and why he asked you to do that, but you don’t have an issue with it, not by a long shot. This is… kind of fun, actually.
“Anything else you want me to do?” you ask Jin when you come out, and he looks at you in a pleading way.
“You don’t mind?”
Something tells you you shouldn’t accept too quickly, that you could end up in way over your head faster than you know. But his brown eyes are wide and desperate and you just can’t say no. So you smile and shake your head.
“Of course not. You look like you really need a hand here.”
“I do.”
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That’s how you find yourself in an apron, with the cute, black hat Jin and Jungkook always wear on your head. Jin mostly sends you in the back to pick up things he needs, or makes you bring the beverages to the customers, which you’re thankful for, because that way you don’t have to greet anyone. Time flies quickly, and you can barely find a second to breathe for the first few hours.
“Sorry, it’s lunch time,” Jin grimaces as he passes you by, and you think to yourself that at least, it will get better, but it takes a while even after that, and when it’s done, Jin sends you to buy some more stuff from the supermarket, because as it turns out, things go fast.
Before you know it, it’s closing time, and you look outside in disbelief. The sky is starting to turn a nice pink, and other shops are putting up their shutters.
“You can go, if you want,” Jin tells you. He sounds terribly sorry, and that makes you feel bad. It’s such an unusual tone for him to have.
His offer is tempting, of course. Your feet hurt, your head aches a little from all the noise that never bothered you before but turns out to be a lot when you’re there all day, you’ve burned your hand against an oven, and you’ve found out that carrying things ends up really hurting your back. But you know that he’s experiencing the same thing you do, and you just don’t have the heart to abandon him here. Also, you’ve already lost your day, so you might as well help him out now.
“It’s fine,” you sigh. “Do you want me to help with anything?”
Cleaning up goes quietly in the main shop, and that soothes you a little. You don’t mind the silence, even enjoy it, and find yourself relaxing for the first time today. Surprisingly, you’re feeling… satisfied. It’s not something you would particularly look forward to doing again, but you’re happy you did it, happy you helped Jin, and you feel like you’ve accomplished something today, which is always a good thing.
“You have flour everywhere,” he tells you bluntly when you walk in the back of the shop, and you laugh.
“Well, it got everywhere,” you reply, trying to rub some off your face, and it’s Jin’s turn to laugh when you fail miserably.
You know you shouldn’t do it, but you gather a small handful of flour from the table, and throw it at him. A good chunk hangs in the air and makes you cough, but the rest does land on his apron. His mouth falls open into an ‘o’ shape and you know you’ve messed up.
“Listen, I am so sorry—”
“No you’re not,” he says, taking a step towards you. His hand is on the table, which is covered with flour, and you swallow.
“Sure I am, Jin, please—”
But your pleas fall in deaf ears, and flour is soon flying your way. It’s your turn to stare at Jin in disbelief, and then you’re laughing, loud and clear.
Maybe that’s the exact moment when the two of you become friends — really friends.
Or maybe it’s seconds later, when the room you’re in turns into the scene for an all-out flour battle. Regardless, you’re laughing the whole way through, when you’re not choking on the flour hanging in the air. Jin’s laughter is quieter than yours, miles away from the booming and somewhat fake laugh you’re used to hearing from him.
The fight only escalates when Jin picks up an egg. You shake your head, mouth ‘no’, but he doesn’t listen, and after that, things get a lot messier. By the time the two of you, exhausted and bent in half because of how much you’ve been laughing, finally stop, you can feel yoke trickling down your back, and you know the sight can’t be pretty. Jin reaches out to you in a useless attempt to wipe some flour from your face, only to laugh more when it, of course, fails once more.
You try not to think about the jolt of electricity that ran through you when his fingers came in contact with your cheek.
“I’ll clean up in here,” he tells you, “but you should go take a shower upstairs.”
“Are you sure?” you ask, surprised. Suddenly, you’re very conscious of the fact that you don’t know him that well. In recent months, you’ve talked to him more than you do with your close friends, and you did just throw several eggs at him, but you don’t know him. You’re aware of the fact that he lives above the shop, but you’ve never been there. The two of you have never even exchanged numbers.
He makes dramatic hand gestures to signal you to get away, like you’re bothering him, and you leave with a last laugh. You don’t notice the way he looks up when you do, or the way it makes him smile. He can’t help it, he just loves that he makes you laugh.
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You’re relieved to step into the shower, both because you’re happy to clean up and because there was something really awkward about being in Seokjin’s apartment for the first time, alone. The place was not quite as decorated as the bakery was, with paler colors. Walking through it, you had noticed big speakers, some books in a shelf, and a couple of cute plushes that you had had to resist not to fawn over. The place worked for him, you had decided. It was more understated than you would have expected when you had just started to know him, but it doesn’t surprise you anymore. Jin tends to be quiet when he doesn’t have to be ‘on’, and it’s something he doesn’t seem to feel he has to do around you anymore.
You sigh in pleasure when the hot water hits you, close your eyes. You’ve been craving it for hours now — long before the food battle with Jin. It helps relax your aching muscles, washes away all the sweat from the day, and you have to resist not to just let yourself fall down onto the floor. Your back hurts, but the worst part has to be your feet. You feel yourself gaining a lot more appreciation for Jin and Jungkook, who are always kind, smiling and polite despite all of this. The only thing that kept you from biting someone’s head off tonight was your crippling anxiety when it comes to interacting with strangers.
It’s almost funny now to think you used to feel that way around Jin.
You look around for some soap you could use, and in your search, you’re surprised to find shampoo that was definitely intended for a woman. You don’t know why you’re surprised. It’s no wonder that Jin would have a girlfriend, really, it’s the opposite that should shock you, but you still didn’t expect it. You force away the pinch in your chest. Jin is a new friend, you can’t have your heart fluttering like that.
You consider using it for half a second, before deciding that it would be very awkward if you came out smelling like his girlfriend. Instead, you do your best to get rid of any egg, and tell yourself you’ll wash your hair at home. You barely hear the sound of the door opening and closing over the water, and you’re startled by Jin’s voice outside the bathroom.
“You can take a towel from the chest of drawers,” he tells you, “and I’ll leave a shirt outside, if you want it.”
“Thank you!” you shout back.
Seokjin stands there a few seconds, before quickly shaking his head and walking away. He knows his ears are turning red, and he hates himself for it, but is it his fault, really? Is he supposed not to think about you, right now, in his shower, water running down your body? He never even thought to pretend he was that innocent.
He occupies himself by preparing a drink for the two of you, and then by cleaning around. He’s not particularly messy, though, and there isn’t much to do, so he ends up sitting on his couch, feeling awkward in his own house, and scrolling aimlessly through his phone. He freezes again when he hears the bathroom door open and close, guessing you’re picking up his shirt. Which means you’re— God what is wrong with him tonight? When did he regress to the state of a hormonal teenager?
He hopes he looks natural when you come out, because he’s doing his best for that. The nervous way he’s running his hands over his thighs would probably give him out, though, if you weren’t feeling just as stressed as him.
“I’m done,” you mumble, your shyness coming back, which you decide is to be expected in that situation.
It vanishes the second Jin looks you over and snorts.
“What’s wrong?” you ask, glancing down, and immediately you know that you’re probably ridiculous in his black shirt. It looks like it’s swallowing you whole. “It’s not my fault if your shoulders are that broad,” you pout.
“You look so small,” Jin chuckles. He sounds endeared, and if you noticed that sort of things, you would absolutely realize that his eyes linger on you in his clothes fondly — and a little longer than necessary.
“Want something to drink?” he asks, gesturing at the stuff he got out of the fridge when he didn’t know what to do with himself.
“Sure,” you smile, letting yourself fall down on the couch next to him and pouring yourself a glass. The brief awkwardness that washed over you when you came in vanishes already, because of how comfortable you feel around Jin. He’s always been good at making you feel that way, and now he doesn’t even have to try.
“So, how did you find your day?” he asks you, and you look at him, surprised by his tone. He sounds quiet, cautious almost, like he’s worried about what your reaction might be, or that he could be bothering you.
“Fine,” you say with a shrug. “I can’t say I’d want to do it again— When is Jungkook coming back?”
Jin chuckles, and again, it takes you by surprise. It’s so… quiet. So discreet, compared to his usual attitude.
“He should be there tomorrow, don’t worry about it.” Then, he grimaces. “But seriously, thank you for helping out today. I owe you.”
“Yes you do,” you say with a grin, bumping your shoulder against his, trying to lift the mood a little, because he sounds genuinely worried. “Just offer me the tea next time, and I’ll consider us even.”
Finally, a smile forms on his lips, and he shakes his head dramatically, putting his hand over his heart.
“No, I don't think I could ever repay you,” he says, and you laugh at his antics, like you always do. He looks a little appeased by that, and that’s a relief. “Your back must hurt,” he says. “Turn around.”
You raise an eyebrow, but do as he says, startling when his hands fall on your shoulders. They’re large, engulfing you easily, but they also move gently as he slowly massages you.
“Oh,” you gasp, leaning back into him. This is— good. This is very very good. For a few minutes — or maybe much longer, you couldn’t tell — you just stay there, eyes closed, lips parted, focused on the delicious feelings of his hands gently rubbing all the pain and soreness of the day away. When he stops, it takes you a few seconds to come back down to reality, and maybe, just maybe you miss the feeling of his hands. “Oh,” you repeat, rolling your shoulders slowly. “Thank you.”
“No problem,” Jin says. “It’s kind of my fault.”
You turn around, shaking your head.
“Seokjin,” you say. “It’s fine. I didn’t mind helping.”
“You’re too kind,” he frowns. “You shouldn’t let people take advantage of that.”
“I’m not!”
Then Jin smiles, in a way that only lifts one corner of his lips, and suddenly you feel— you’re not too sure. Something seems to melt inside you, something moves in your stomach like you’re free falling. You probably should recognize the feeling. It’s not like it’s anything new to you, and yet you miss it. You do something you almost never do in that situation, and you take a step back. You glance up from his lips, shoot him a smile, and get up from the couch.
“It’s getting late,” you comment. “I really need to go home.”
Jin is on his feet immediately.
“I’ll walk you back,” he says, concern flashing in his eyes.
“I’m good. It’s not that far and I need to clear my head after, you know, everything today.” You’re not sure you know, but Jin nods, though a little reluctantly.
“You’re sure?”
“Very.”
He sighs. He doesn’t seem too pleased about it, but you guess he doesn’t want to insist too much, either.
“Give me your phone,” he says, and when you hand it to him, he types his number in, pouting as he explains himself to you. “Text me when you get home, alright? Otherwise I’ll just worry all night, because everyone is so unreasonable, and just wants me to lose sleep, and—”
You take your phone back from him with a laugh.
“I’ll text you,” you promise, briefly putting your hand over his. That feels— normal, you decide. It’s not like your hands have never brushed in the months since you’ve started frequenting the bakery. It just feels fine, and whatever there was before could just be a false alert. But then Jin looks into your eyes, and the feeling comes back.
“You better.”
You practically flee the bakery. You’re trying to make sense of the whole thing in your head, and it doesn’t go over great. You let Jin know you got home safe, and then do your best to push the whole thing out of your mind when you go to bed. You refuse to think about it too much. Not because you don’t understand what’s going on, but because somewhere, deep down, you do. This isn’t— this isn’t something you do. You fall hard and fast, that’s— that’s your thing.
Sometimes it’s nice, others it’s disappointing, but most importantly, it means that when the relationship is over, your life just goes back to what it was before. It you ever had feelings for a friend, someone you’re so used to having around… You’re sure it would truly break your heart.
July 15th
Summer is horribly hot this year. Fortunately for you, your favorite bakery has started serving ice cream. There is air conditioning in the store, but with the door constantly opening and closing, gusts of hot air regularly reach even you. No one seems too happy with the situation, with Jungkook seeming to slowly come apart under the temperature. Even Namjoon has abandoned ship, leaving much earlier than usual today. He waved at you when he got out, and you waved back.
Who knew, maybe the two of you would actually talk next time.
Jin uses a lull in the otherwise busy afternoon to drop at your table, and you smile to him. You haven’t really gone through anything like that night ever since, and you decided it was just a one time thing. You were tired from the work, and you were touch-starved, and, surely, there was nothing there, other than you gaining a new friend.
Yup. Nothing to see at all. Even when he’s sitting next to you, trying to fan himself with one of the bakery’s menus, head thrown back in a way that makes his Adam’s apple even more prominent.
You never thought yourself as someone who particularly enjoyed necks, but it seems you were wrong.
Not that that has anything to do with feelings, of course. Jin’s just hot. You already knew that.
“Hey, (Y/N), what’s your favorite cake?” he asks you.
It takes you just a second too long to answer.
“Uh. Anything that has strawberries in it, I guess,” you say, and he nods, but he’s also frowning. “Are my tastes not up to par?” you grin, raising an eyebrow.
“Clearly, your tastes are great, since you keep coming back,” Jin answers immediately, with the confidence that you now know to be mostly facade, but that you’ve still come to love. “No, strawberries are good. I can work with strawberries.”
“I actually wanted strawberries the first time I came here,” you reminisce. “But there weren’t any left because that was after Valentine’s Day.”
Jin clicks his tongue in disgust.
“Worst day of the year,” he says, “though February is a bad month for strawberries in general.”
“You don’t like Valentine’s Day?” you ask, and if you were a dog, your ears would be perking up with interest. You’ve always loved to hear people’s opinion on the holiday, because it’s so divisive. “You guys must make quite a lot of money…”
“I’m wounded that you’d think money is all I care about,” Jin sighs dramatically, though the glint in his eyes lets you know that he’s only joking. “It’s just very busy,” he admits. “It’s a lot of work to prepare, people place a lot of orders, and we basically don’t get a minute to ourselves. Not to mention— do you know what it does to a person to know that the food he lovingly prepared is probably going to be eaten off someone’s body?”
You can’t help it. You burst out laughing. When you do, you’re completely unaware of the fond way Jin looks at you. He’s always liked that he made you laugh, from the very first day you came into the store.
“No,” you admit, “no, I haven’t thought about it.”
“Well I have to.”
“I’m so sorry for you.”
“I’m sorry for me too.”
Then Jimin practically waltzes in and energetically greets everyone in the room, including you, and Jin gets up to serve him and Taehyung because Jungkook looks like he’s about to collapse, and you don’t give much more thought to the conversation.
But Jin remembers that strawberry cake is your favorite.
September 18th
Somehow, you get roped into helping Jin with his grocery shopping. He sat at your table and complained about how Jungkook wouldn’t be able to help him that week, and you voiced your sympathy, and next thing you knew, you were in the supermarket with him.
Well, maybe you’d offered your help. Maybe you just didn’t want to admit it because of that time he’d told you you were too kind.
“You know, I thought I’d be helping you for the bakery,” you comment, “but this mostly looks like it’s for you.”
“I am the bakery,” Jin replies, and you grin.
You watch him as he carefully crosses item after item of his detailed list. You expected him to be messy, to grab whatever he wanted, but he is as meticulous with this as he is with the baking he does for his customers. Which is— strangely endearing to you.
“Most of what we get comes in bigger orders,” he explains to you once he’s done with that aisle. “Sometimes, we find ourselves missing some things…”
“Like milk.”
“It’s always the milk,” he sighs, shaking his head it brings back bad memories. “But that’s not an issue for a lot of thing, unless something very specific comes up. Like a customer wanting  a pineapple pie.”
You tilt your head as he cautiously picks pineapples. You’re not even sure how you can tell if a pineapple is ripe, but he looks like he knows what he’s doing.
“That sounds… interesting?”
“It’s going to sound very interesting when I’ll make you carry half the bags,” Jin says, and you roll your eyes. Does he think you’re going to bail on him? You would never do that.
Well. Until your eyes fall on Minho, standing there, like he hasn’t simply vanished from your life six months ago. There’s a woman with him, and she’s laughing at something he said. You suppose she was the one he met — or maybe another one, there’s no way of knowing, really. But they look like they’re getting along well, and it— it makes you happy. You think.
“Huh,” you mumble. “That’s my ex over there.”
Jin looks up so fast you worry he might hurt his neck.
“What? Where? Do you need me to insult him?”
You’re about to say no when Minho turns around, and his eyes meet yours. He gives you a hesitant nod, and you think that’s going to be it, but then, after a few seconds of obvious inner debate, he makes his way towards you.
Great.
“(Y/N),” he says, a bit awkwardly. “It’s good to see you.”
“It’s good to see you too,” you reply softly and, much to your surprise, you mean it. You did your best not to let yourself miss him, but you suppose you did. It’s been a long time since you last saw him.
“This is, erm, this is Lisa,” he says, gesturing at the woman, who gives you a polite smile. It looks like she knows exactly who you are, and you suppose it must be uncomfortable for her as well. “My girlfriend.”
Yeah. You’d pieced that together. But then, Minho’s eyes move to Jin, and he raises an eyebrow, and you realize what he’s thinking about.
“Oh, this is—”
“Seokjin,” Jin says, extending his hand. “I’m her boyfriend.”
You’re sure that anyone looking at you can tell from your expression, from the way your mouth falls open and from the incredulous way you shake your head that that’s not true, but both Minho and Lisa are looking at him, and miss it completely. When Jin looks at you, he gives an imperceptible nod and puts an arm around your shoulders.
The warmth is— kind of nice. Maybe it even sends a shiver down your back, but you’re sure it’s because you’re still quite touch-starved those days.
Nothing else here.
“That’s great,” Minho says, and he looks relieved. “It’s great that you’re with someone.”
“Isn’t it?” Jin says before you can think of anything to answer to that. “She walked into my bakery and I just knew she would become my favorite client. Basically love at first sight.”
“Love at first sale, maybe,” you can’t help but answer, even if you know, reasonably, that you shouldn’t entertain him. You’re pretty sure he’s trying to show off in front of the two, which is really unnecessary, but you appreciate the gesture. “Jin makes the best cakes you can find in the whole town,” you tell them. Not to show off, but because it’s true. There are a lot of good things you could tell them about Jin, come to think of it. A lot.
“Maybe we should try it then,” Lisa says, smiling. She looks more relaxed than earlier, though you suppose she could also just be trying to get out of this conversation.
“Oh, it’s a must,” you reply sincerely, and Jin laughs, pulling you against his chest a little.
“She’s too nice,” he says, and you immediately protest that no, definitely not, he does, and you’re sure you look like a very annoying couple, because it doesn’t take long for Minho to clear his throat.
“Well, we have to go but it was— it was nice catching up with you.”
“Same,” you nod, and when he leaves, you can’t help but watch him. You don’t really feel anything right now. You were sincerely happy to see him, but it felt like running into a childhood friend you haven’t seen in a long, long time, and now have nothing in common with outside of those memories. Except it hasn’t been a life time since you last met him. Just a little over six months. Soon, he’ll just be someone you used to know.
You wish you were more upset by this. You wish there was anything that told you that what you had with him actually mattered. Instead, this vague indifference lets you know that your paths had probably diverged before the two of you even broke up. And that makes you kind of sad.
“Are you okay?” Jin asks. He has that quiet voice you’ve heard a few times now.
“I’m fine,” you nod, “but you really didn’t have to do that. I wasn’t— Minho and I aren’t— there really was no need.”
“I was happy to do it,” Jin says, and you notice how petty he sounds. “It’s always a joy to let an ex see how much better than them you’re doing.”
You laugh. You probably agree with him on that, but you’re not going to help feed his ego even more. Jungkook would probably never forgive you for it.
“I don’t think your girlfriend would like you doing that,” you observe, and Jin answers that remark with a blank stare.
“When have I ever said anything about a girlfriend?”
“Well, there was a bottle of shampoo at your place that—”
“So a guy can’t like having his hair smell like fruit, huh?”
“That’s not what I—”
“Wow, way to reinforce stereotypes, (Y/N). I expected more of you.”
He ignores your attempts at protesting and strides away from you. It takes you a few moments to catch up, because of his stupid long legs of his.
“If I had a girlfriend, I would never stop talking about her,” he lets you know while you’re catching your breath. “So don’t worry. You’ll know about it.”
“Duly noted,” you say. You maybe feel a little too happy about that new information so, to distract yourself from it, you change the subject. “So I’m your favorite customer?”
He scoffs and glances away from you, refusing to meet your eyes. He thought you hadn’t picked up on that.
“You’re a strong contestant, I guess,” he says reluctantly, and you laugh, not pushing it further.
“Anyway— Minho broke up with me a week Valentine’s Day,” you say. You’re not sure why. Maybe to let Jin that you’ve been over it for a long time.
“That’s rude,” Jin comments with a disapproving click of his tongue.
“He probably wanted to spend it with her,” you shrug. “When we got together, he told me he didn’t cheat. He left. So— I guess that was it.” Then there’s a laugh, and you can’t tell if it sounds bitter. You hope not. “I’ve actually never had a boyfriend for Valentine’s Day,” you confess.
The silence that follows is unusual for Jin. When you glance up at him, he’s just looking at you, and for a second, you think it’s pity you find in his eyes. But, from the way he frowns, you realize it could just be genuine sympathy.
“Would it make you feel better if I tell you it’s a terrible holiday that’s just there to sell things?”
“I already know that,” you chuckle, even if it does make you feel a little better. “I just want someone to buy me roses once, you know?”
Jin doesn’t answer, just looks at you, and something about the intensity of his stare makes you feel— feel things you told yourself you weren’t feeling for him. But then, you just ran into Minho, didn’t you? It makes sense that you would be all over the place emotionally.
“Anything more on your list?” you ask, and Jin blinks.
“Yeah, that way,” he says, sounding a bit off, but then he adds “More things for you to carry,” and you decide to brush it off.
But he stores the information in his mind. Strawberry cake and roses. Duly noted.
October 31st
“So do you actually like Halloween, or is this just another shameless cash grab for you?” you ask Jin when he brings you your tea.
You have to admit, him and Jungkook truly went all out for this. They’ve decorated the shop with pumpkins, and there are fake bats hanging from the ceiling. There are also themed cakes and chocolates shaped like spiders. It’s spooky, and it delights the kids that come in and ask the parents about it. You definitely appreciate the atmosphere it creates — and you also appreciate the way Hoseok jumped when he walked in front of the witch that lets out an evil laugh when someone passes the movement detector.
“Halloween is not terrible, I guess,” Jin says, like him and Jungkook don’t take a full day out of their schedules and bring in some friends just to decorate the shop. “Do you like it?”
“I love it,” you answer sincerely, and Jin’s expression softens.
“Hey, we’re having a small get-together after closing tonight,” he tells you spontaneously. “Wanna join us?”
You take a second to answer. It’s not like you don’t want to — far from that — but there’s that voice inside of you that tells you that you’ve been weird around Jin, and you don’t want to be weird around him. You want to keep things as they are, because he’s such a wonderful friend to have around. You’d hate yourself if you changed that.
But if the point is to have him around, then surely, telling him no right now would be counter-productive, right?
“Absolutely,” you say with a smile, and Jin beams, and you feel all warmed-up inside.
You already know that you’ll have fun, and you’ll laugh, and he’ll insist on walking you him and you’ll tell him no. And it sounds exactly like how you want to spend your evening.
January 10th
You first meet Sungho on New Year’s Eve, at Hana’s party. The two of you click immediately, and you enjoy the familiar rush of feelings, the waiting for a text after you’ve given him your number, the anticipation of knowing where this is all leading, if everything goes right. After a week, you run into him at the bakery, or, well, you’re sitting in your usual corner when he comes in. He doesn’t see you immediately, but when he looks in your direction after a little while, you happily wave him over.
“You don’t usually come here, do you?” you ask him. “I would have seen you by now if you were a regular.”
He chuckles, flashes you a bright smile, and you smile in return. Sungho has a nice smile. He doesn’t laugh easily, though, from what you saw when you met him, which is a shame, but definitely not a dealbreaker, even if you love to hear people laugh.
“No, I saw you were talking about this place a lot online, and I figured I would come and check it out. Of course, seeing you here is the best part,” he adds with a wink, and he leans towards you a little. The obvious flirtation sends a wave of heat through your chest, and you don’t hesitate to lean forward as well, resting your elbow on the table and putting your chin on your hand. You enjoy the closeness, the proximity, the chase.
You pull away when Jin arrives with Sungho’s order.
“This looks great,” Sungho comments. “I’m glad (Y/N) advertised you so much.”
“Well, there’s a reason she’s our favorite customer,” Jin replies, smiling, and when you meet his eyes, they’re fond and— and something else that makes it hard to breathe for a second.
But the smile fades when Sungho takes a portion of his cake with the spoon and offers it to you.
“Wanna try it?” he asks, and you do, because you know everything Jin makes will be amazing. You’re not sure you love the gesture itself — it’s kind of cute, but you’ve also just met him and it feels a bit strange — but you still giggle and take the bite.
And all Jin can do is stand there, looking at the two of you. He feels something he has felt before, and it’s that he let something he wanted pass him by. He waited too long to make a move, once again, and once again, it’s cost him something he doesn’t know how he’ll live without, and now he’ll have no choice but to figure it out.
You glance up, and he catches himself, plastering a smile on his lips.
“Enjoy yourselves!” he says, a little too loudly, and he knows, from the way you blink and the puzzled look you give him, that you’ve noticed and it’s— it’s horrible. It’s horrible that you know him that well and that you’ve seen so many facets of him and you’ve chosen someone else. You don’t ask anything, though, and he’s quick to leave.
He’s also quick to ask Jungkook to replace him in the shop, and he, very deliberately, doesn’t ask anything about how things went. Doesn’t want to know if you kissed, or worse, if you left together.
He’ll be fine. It’s not like it’s anything he hasn’t been through before.
February 5th
You feel impossibly excited when Sungho asks you out for Valentine’s Day. You gush about it to your friends, a lot, and Hana is delighted for you — and very pleased that her circles of friends are meeting like that. Jungkook sounds happy, too, though slightly more reserved, but you get the type of enthusiasm you wanted from Jimin and Taehyung.
Jin gets quiet when you let him know, though. It’s not something you haven’t seen before, but it does take you off guard, because you’ve never seen it happen while in the shop, where he’s usually on top of his game.
“Are you okay?” you ask, worried, leaning over the counter to put a hand on his arm. “You look a little under the weather these days.”
He smiles, but it lacks his usual flamboyance.
“Valentine’s Day is coming,” he tells you. “The worst day of the year.”
You laugh at that, relax, and take your hand off. You miss the way his eyes fall on the place you were just touching.
“Well, not this year, hopefully. Not this year.”
Yeah. He’s not so sure about that.
February 14th
It’s your first time, ever, having a date on Valentine’s Day, and you’re determined to do everything right. Sungho is taking you to a fancy restaurant, so you decide there is no issue in going all out. You take the day to prepare yourself, enlist Hana to do your make-up and hair, and you use the opportunity to wear a lovely bright red dress that you had been saving for a special occasion.
Hana whistles when you come out of your room after you’ve also put on half-transparent black tights.
“Now that’s what I’m talking about,” she says with an appreciative nod.
You glance down at your body self-consciously and try to smooth the fabric of the dress. You do think it looks pretty good, but you could be wrong. Does it show too much of your legs? Does it hug your curves too tightly?
“You think he’s going to like it?” you ask, somewhat shyly.
“He should if he knows what’s good for him,” she replies, expression turning murderous, before softening. “Just… Are you sure you want to be doing that?”
You give her a confused look.
“What are you talking about?”
“You know, going out with Sungho,” she says with a vague hand gesture. “I just— I don’t know. Do you like him that much?”
It’s funny. You haven’t really asked yourself that question. You’ve just been going through all the usual motions — the flirting, the dates, and, inevitably, the start of the relationship, which is probably for tonight.
“We— we get along fine,” you answer. “I like him.”
You leave the words ‘well enough’ out of that sentence. You like Sungho well enough. But then, that’s always been good enough for you, so why should it change now?
Hana seems to think about it for a little while, then shrugs.
“Okay then. Do you need my help to walk to the cab? I would not trust these things.”
She’s pointing at your heels, and it makes you laugh. These aren’t even that high, and they’re pretty stable. You don’t think you’ll have any trouble walking in them. Hana wouldn’t abandon her flat shoes to save her life, though, so you suppose the question was to be expected.
“You can just tell me if you want to hold my arm,” you tease, and it seems to take her by surprise, before she chuckles.
“You’ve gotten a little too good at that. I don’t know if I like it.”
“Yeah, I’m afraid Jin has infected me.”
That gives her pause, and she shoots you a weird look, but you miss it. She opens her mouth to say something, then gives up. She could be wrong, after all.
She kind of hopes she’s wrong, or that if she’s right, you’ll realize it soon enough.
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The dinner is perfect. You’re dressed perfectly for the occasion, fitting right in the restaurant’s decor, Sungho complimented you when you walked in and you told him he looked great, which is true, the food is delicious, the conversation flows easily, and there are roses on the table. They’re not for you, part of the decoration, and it doesn’t look like Sungho’s gotten you any, which gives you just a little pinch of disappointment in your chest, but it’s also not a big deal. It’s fine. Everything is fine.
And you’re not happy with it.
You can’t place it, and it slowly drives you insane, as you and Sungho make your way through the meal. You try your best not to let it show, but you think he notices your increasing restlessness. You feel bad about it, because really, he hasn’t done anything wrong. You just— something’s not right.
Dammit. It’s your first time having a date on Valentine’s Day, and you can’t make it work.
“I’ve been meaning to ask you something,” Sungho says while the two of you are waiting for your desert, and you do your best to snap out of whatever is going on in your head to focus on him.
“Tell me,” you smile, though the smile is polite, rather than genuine.
He takes a deep breath and reaches over the table to take your hand. It’s far from the first time the two of you make physical contact, you’ve even kissed a few times, and it was nice, but something makes you want to recoil, in that moment. You don’t, though. Why would you? It doesn’t make sense. Nothing about you makes sense right now.
“I like you,” he says, and you find the breath knocked out of you. It’s not unpleasant, though, it’s very nice in fact, and it almost completely dissipates your previous discomfort. “And I think— you know. We haven’t said anything about being exclusive yet, so I figured I’d— ask.”
He looks pretty confident, which you thought would put you off, but it doesn’t. The answer seems obvious to you. It’s been just a little over a year since you broke up with Minho, which is a reasonable time, so your lips part to let him know that you’d be happy to—
It’s then that you remember. You remember what you told yourself after that break-up, and what you thought after the break-up before that, and the time before as well. You remember you told yourself you wouldn’t settle for less than what you really wanted. You told yourself you wanted to love and be loved. You told yourself you wanted someone who’d remember how you liked your tea.
And, just like in a movie, Jin’s face appears in your mind. You almost dismiss it, tell yourself it’s just because of the tea, until you realize it’s not. It just isn’t. You should have noticed earlier, you know that, but you’ve never been friends with someone before developing feelings for them. You’ve always told yourself you were an ‘all or nothing’ kind of person, that you were the type to know immediately if things could happen. Maybe you didn’t quite believe in love at first sight, but you’d always thought that love didn’t wait.
Apparently you were wrong.
Jin’s the one who inadvertently makes you pulse rush, when his hand brushes against you. Jin’s the one who lifts your spirits, no matter what. Jin makes you happy, makes you want to get up in the morning, has done that for months now. Jin actually knows you. Jin looks at you like you’re precious to him. Maybe that doesn’t mean love, maybe to him, it’s all just friendship, but to you, it’s much more than that. And the feeling you get is so strong, so powerful, that you understand that you need to tell him. Need to tell him now.
“I’m sorry,” you say to Sungho, who’s been waiting for an answer all this time. “I’m really sorry, I don’t think that can work out.”
His face falls, but he looks far from heartbroken.
“Oh,” he says. “Um. That’s—”
“I’m sorry,” you repeat, already getting up from your chair. You’re buzzing with excitement, with feelings. “I have to go. I’ll pay for the meal, okay?”
“No, don’t—”
“Sorry!”
You stop at the counter briefly before rushing out into the night. You feel that you know exactly where you need to be.
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You get to the bakery minutes before closing time, which is exceptionally at 9 p.m. for the day. A couple is just coming out, and that leaves only Jungkook inside. There’s nothing left on display, and you know it’s been impossibly busy, which means Jin is probably in a bad mood, but you can’t wait until tomorrow. When you walk in, Jungkook looks up from behind the counter, clearly surprised by the sound of someone coming in that late, and a puzzled look settles on his face when he notices that you’re out of breath, your previously perfect make-up now looking a little worse for wear.
“Is everything alright?” he asks. He sounds worried, and any other day you would take the time to reassure him, but in that moment you’re pushed by an energy that can’t be stopped, so you just nod quickly as an answer.
“Is Jin here?”
“In the back,” he says, tilting his head in that direction, and you’re pretty sure a glint of understanding lights up in his eyes.
“Can I….?”
He nods, a grin on his lips, and now you’re sure he knows why you’re here. You don’t wait for him to tease you about it, quick to make your way past him.
You freeze the second you walk into the backroom, though. It’s not just because of Jin’s back, though that definitely has more of an effect on you than you’d like to admit — the broad shoulders, the muscular back, and inexplicably, the nape of his neck. It’s also because of the large bouquet of red roses, standing in a vase on the table next to him. Your breath catches in your throat as you look at them. They look beautiful, vibrant, their fragrance floating through the room, all the way to you.
“Who are the roses for?” you ask, making Jin jump.
Any other time, you would have been pleased to take him by surprise for once, but right now you’re hanging on his words, waiting for an answer. The air feels heavy between you, and it doesn’t help that he doesn’t answer immediately, swallowing silently as his eyes travel over your body. You had almost forgotten about the dress you were wearing, and, instead of making you feel comfortable and confident, like it had earlier, you feel naked and vulnerable under his gaze.
Finally, his eyes meet yours, mouth slightly open, and by that point your heart is hammering in your chest. You wonder if he has any idea of how you’re feeling right now. Had he noticed your feelings when even you weren’t aware of them?
“What?” he croaks, voice dry, like he’s forgotten what you said.
“The roses,” you repeat. “Who are they for?”
You need an answer. Desperately.
Jin’s eyes move to the roses, and his face falls. He turns his back to you again as he goes back to whatever he’s cleaning.
“Didn’t you have a date tonight?”
You shrug, though he can’t see it.
“I broke things off with him,” you say lightly, and you don’t miss the way his movements pause, or the way his shoulders tighten, for half a second, before he keeps moving. “Are you— are you meeting someone?”
“No,” he protests immediately. “You know I don’t believe in Valentine’s day.”
You do. You remember that. So you wait for an explanation. It takes a while, and you just wait silently behind him, suspecting that he’s waiting for you to go away. After a few minutes, though, he slams his hand on the table, still not looking at you.
“They’re for you, okay? You said you’d always wanted roses for Valentine’s Day, and I figured, maybe your stupid boyfriend didn’t know that yet, and that I could maybe just drop them off at your place, and—”
“You didn’t ask me why I broke up with him,” you interrupt him, cutting his rambling short, and he falls silent. You catch his eyes from over his shoulder. Finally, you’re feeling yourself calm down, and at the same time you’re practically shaking with anticipation. “I realized I had feelings for someone else,” you say when he still doesn’t ask, just watching you, lips tight.
“…You do?” he simply says in reply. He’s tense, guarded, and you take a careful step towards him.
“Yeah,” you nod. Your eyes aren’t leaving his, not even for a second. “He’s smart, and kind, and handsome.” You take a step for each description you give, and you can’t help but smile on the last word. But your smile doesn’t reach Jin’s lips, and he’s just looking at you like he’s expecting you to tell him someone else’s name, or to make fun of him. “And he makes me laugh,” you add quietly, as you get to him, leaning against the table. “A lot. Some have even said it was a little too much.”
“So who is he?” he asks, and you smile. It’s wild to you that you haven’t understood earlier how absolutely head over heels in love with him you are, especially right now, when you’re standing so close to him. It’s also wild that he can’t see it, because you feel as though you’re radiating with that emotion, feel that anyone should be able to tell.
“It’s you,” you breathe out. “It’s obviously you.”
Then you’re pushing yourself up against his mouth, soft and slow. One of his hands closes around your waist as he leans forward, towering over you. His eyes are shut, and you close your own, reveling in the feeling of his warm body pressed against your own. You feel his tongue darting out to brush against your lips, and they part to grant him access, eager to taste all of him and—
“Couldn’t you tell me that earlier?” Jin protests loudly, tearing himself away from you, and your eyes snap open. “I would have planned the best Valentine’s Day you’ve ever—”
You groan and cut him off with another kiss, faster and harder this time, grabbing his wrists to guide his hands to your hips. You moan in contentment into his mouth when he kisses you back and he swallows it eagerly, pressing you into the table, bodies meeting like they’ve been waiting for it for forever and you—
“I wanted to make you an amazing strawberry cake! Now I don’t have any strawberries left!”
“Jin, please,” you sigh, unable to tolerate any other interruption, “would you just shut up and kiss me?”
And, finally, he does. Holds you like he never wants to let you go, kisses you like there’s no tomorrow, and when the two of you part, he rests his forehead against yours like he can’t bear the thought of being away from you even for a second. The silent stretches, comfortable, only filled with your respirations, until someone clears their throat, and the two of you jump away from each other.
“Sorry,”Jungkook says with a shit-eating grin that tells you he’s not sorry at all, “but I was about to leave. Will the two of you be okay?”
“I’m sure we can work things out without you,” Jin says. “Goodbye!”
But Jungkook doesn’t leave right away, turning his smile to you. You would hide into Jin’s shoulder, but you feel so good you can’t be bothered right now.
“Goodbye (Y/N)!”
“Bye, Jungkook!”
“That kid, I swear,” Jin says, shaking his head, as Jungkook leaves, his laugh hanging in the air behind him for a few seconds.
“I quite like him,” you comment, fingers dancing down Jin’s neck to come trace the border of his shirt.
“Oh, you do?” There is a dangerous edge to his tone and you glance up, surprised.
“Are you jealous?” you ask. “I didn’t know you were the jealous type.”
“I’m not.”
“Because it’s not Jungkook I abandoned my date for.”
“Good that you did. I never liked him.”
“So you are jealous.”
Seokjin mumbles something incomprehensible and you laugh and hug him tighter. And when he asks you if you want to come upstairs, even if he doesn’t have the perfect Valentine’s Day dinner planned, even if really, all he has to offer is himself, you tell him yes, of course.
Because he’s all you want right now.
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It turns out, you wouldn’t have eaten the dinner anyway. The second the door closes behind you, you’re pulling him down against you for a kiss, and he doesn’t oppose any resistance, doesn’t protest like he did before, just lets out a moan into your mouth. He’s just as eager as you are to get rid of that tight dress.
“Careful with the tights,” you warn when his hands start roaming your thighs.
“Take them off then,” he groans.
You press a few kisses against his mouth, feeling delighted with the way he restrains himself, hands turning into fists against your hips as he stops himself from tearing off your closes. Finally, you pull away with a giggle. His eyes are wide and dark with desire, and they only get wider when you playfully slide off your dress’ strap.
“Don’t tease,” he says, practically growls, but you decide that you will. You guide him to his couch, push him down onto it, and evade him when he tries to pull you down with him, slipping out of his grasp. You stand just out of his reach, but more than close enough to be tantalizing, and you see in his eyes that it’s working just fine.
You take the time of making a show out of sliding down your dress down your body, letting it pool down at your feet before stepping out of it. The heels are the next thing to go, and then, finally, the offending tights. The second you’re out of those, Seokjin pounces, grabbing your hips and pulling you onto the couch.
“If you want us to move this to the bedroom, now would be a good time to say it,” he says as he kisses your neck, hands traveling up and down your body, large and calloused, but kind and gentle.
“I’m good here,” you say, arching your back to grant him better access — and to roll your hips against him. “Are you good here?”
You feel his breath catching in his throat when you move, as well as something hard pressing against you in his pants, and his voice is slightly choked when he answers.
“Yeah. This would happen at some point anyway.”
You laugh. You can’t wait to try this in all the places the two of you can think of in his apartment.
“Then let’s get to it, shall we?”
Jin doesn’t seem to have anything to answer to that, especially not when you hook your leg around his, using your heel to push him down on top of you. He’s still dressed, but you plan on rectifying that. You stop kissing him to work on the buttons of his shirt, and he lets you, breathing heavily. Your fingers explore the skin you reveal in the process, and you’re delighted when he shivers as you find out where his sensitive spots are — right under his collarbone, his nipples, his ribs.
Finally, the shirt joins your dress on the floor. You take a second to marvel at his body. His shoulders are even nicer to look at like that, you decide. You capture Jin’s mouth again, this time with your hands fisting his hair. You’re feeling yourself growing more impatient, wetter, and while your panties are the only thing still covering your body, he���s still wearing pants — which is far too much clothing.
“I want you so bad,” you whisper to him, and his breath catches in his throat.
“Fuck. You have no idea what you’re doing to me.”
That makes you grin, and you arch your back into him again, pressing yourself against his now rock hard crotch.
“Oh, I think I do,” you reply devilishly, and all Jin does is to bury his head into your neck. His fast breathing tickles your skin, and you love it. You love discovering that you have that effect on him, love how you can make him come undone. Another night, you might really, really enjoy teasing him about it, but you have something else on your mind tonight.
Your hand travels down his body to palm him through his pants, and he groans, bucking his hips against it involuntarily.
“Let me take care of that?” you offer, and he pulls away to raise an eyebrow at you.
Wordlessly, you guide him so he’s sitting on the couch, and then, without breaking eye contact, you drop to your knees. You watch as his eyes go wide and he swallows loudly. You don’t give him time to regain his composure, gently nudging his legs apart so you can place yourself there comfortably.
“Fuck,” he repeats as your hands travel over his thighs before unbuckling his belt.
He lifts himself off the couch so you can slide down his pants and underwear, and that leaves him in his naked glory. And boy, is he glorious, dick standing erect and proud, precum already dripping from the tip. You suppose it’s been a while since the last time he had any sort of intercourse, and so you decide that you will do everything that’s in your power to make it worth his while.
You do your best to maintain eye contact with him while you lean forward to gently take in the head of his cock, wrapping your red lips around it as your hand grips the base.
“Ah,” he gasps, and you wonder if he gets loud during sex.
You hope he does.
You mostly tease him at first, running your tongue over the tip, and you feel his hand grabbing the back of your head gently. He doesn’t try to control your pace or to push you down. He seems to just be anchoring himself as he lets you do whatever you want. Glancing up, you see that he’s thrown his head back and his mouth is hanging open, letting out quiet moans that sometimes get high-pitched.
For some reason, the sight of his exposed throat turns you on impossibly. You slide a hand down your body to try to get some relief as well, and you moan loudly when your fingers finally find your clit. The vibrations have Jin push his hips up as his hands tighten on you. A second later, his eyes snap open.
“Shit, I’m sorry, I—”
“It’s fine,” you reassure him, “I don’t mind but— Do you have a condom somewhere?”
He hesitates, then reaches for the coffee table. He opens the drawer, rummages through it quickly, and finds what he’s looking for.
“Taehyung said it was good to have them all over the house, just in case,” he feels obligated to explain to you, even while he struggles to open it and to put it on.
Well, you owe Taehyung one, you decide, but now really is not the time to discuss that, so you pull him down for quick kiss before he can lose himself in his ramble.
“Want you now,” you tell him, and it sounds like an order.
“Yes ma’am,” he mumbles, pulling you back up onto the couch.
Your panties are soon gone, and he spreads your legs open with utmost care. Even if you’re pretty sure he could just slide right in, with how wet you are, he pushes a long finger inside you, then another.
“You’re so wet for me,” he marvels. “So wet, and I haven’t even touched you.”
“Don’t flatter yourself too much yet,” you moan. “There’s still work to be done here.”
His eyes are full of love when he looks at you, taking in your body, now completely naked and offered. Just for him.
“Oh, I’ll do it. Don’t you worry about that.”
You’re about to call him out for his cockiness when he lines his cock with your entrance, tip rubbing against your folds, and you close your mouth instead, wisely choosing not to provoke him when he could so easily make you pay for it by making you wait. Except it seems he’s just as impatient as you, because he pushes himself inside you without pause.
You moan and shift to accommodate the stretch, and Seokjin goes still on top of you.
“Are you okay?” he asks. You’re satisfied with the strain in his voice, like knowing you’re not the only one to be so affected here.
“Hmm,” you hum. “Can you— move? A little?”
He pulls out a little, experimentally, and you moan louder than before. It takes you a few minutes to figure out the pace, as your hips keep moving, desperately searching for more friction, but they’re not unpleasant, filled with kisses, sweet nothings and the feeling of his warm skin against yours. In those moments, you feel like you’re discovering him all over again, and you find yourself enjoying that more than you can say.
Finally, you find yourselves, and the sound of skin against skin fills the room, along with your loud, high-pitches moans, and Seokjin’s — softer, quieter, but definitely there. You meet each of his thrusts, with one hand between the two of you to rub against your clit. When you first clench around him, he finally lets out a moan that’s as loud as yours.
“Fuck, fuck, fffuck,” he says, head falling against you, cheek pressed against your collarbone. “If you— If you do that again I’ll— Wait, please, wait, wanna— wanna cum with you—”
You arch your back, your nipples grazing against his chest, and force up the pace of your hips. Jin is moving incoherently, begging into your neck, and you want to give him exactly what he’s asking for. When you clench around him again, it’s with your orgasm. It’s all it takes to push him over the edge as well, but you barely feel his hips stutter into you, completely taken over by your own pleasure.
It takes you a little while to come back down from your high, and when you do, you meet his eyes. They’re soft and gentle, and, more than anything that’s happened until then, they make you melt.
“Hey,” he whispers, “you okay?”
“Yeah. Yeah, more than okay, in fact. You?”
“More than okay, too,” he says as a lazy smile spreads across his features.
“Good. That’s good.”
Pillow talk is not your forte.
“Hey,” Jin says, coming to rest his forehead against your shoulder.
“Hmm?”
“I think I’m in love with you.”
You chuckle.
“I think I’m in love with you too.”
“That’s good,” Jin says, but his voice sounds choked up, raspy, and you know he’s probably blushing. So you don’t add anything, just run your fingers over his scalp, the nape of his neck, down his back. Let him know you’re here, that you’ve got him, that you’re not going anywhere.
“Are you— are you staying the night?” he asks.
“Sure, unless you’re kicking me out.”
His arms tighten around you possessively.
“I would never.”
It takes a little longer before Jin manages to get the two of you off the couch to go get cleaned up, and then into bed, but of that night, there is not a second that you would call unnecessary or superfluous. Not one.
Every single one of them, every moment you spend with Jin on that first night, are essential, and you could not pick one of them to take back.
March 14th
The bell chimes happily when you walk into the shop, and even though Jin is busy with another customer, his eyes immediately find you. It’s something simple, yet it’s something you love about him. The way he always seems to find you, and the pleasant warmth that fills you without fail when you see him. You’ve been told that it was just the high of the first months of a relationship, not to get too used to it but you hope that, even if it dims, it won’t go away completely.
“Hey, Jin, your ears are turning really red. Why are your ears turning red?”
You laugh while your boyfriend turns to shoot a furious look at Yoongi. He’s sitting in your spot, in the back of the shop, and he’s looking smug. That comment of his has become a pretty common thing to hear whenever you walk in, or just when Jin and you are speaking. To be completely honest, you’re not too mad about it. Jin is good at acting like you have no effect on him, but the blush betrays him, and it’s been both cute and useful to see what actually gets to him, or bothers him sometimes.
“I’ll kick you out of my shop if you keep that up!” Jin shouts at him. “Don’t think I won’t!”
But Yoongi just chuckles into his mug, clearly not taking him seriously — and he’s probably right for that.
“So, do you know what today is?” Jin asks nonchalantly after he’s turned back to face you, gesturing for Jungkook take over with the other customer.
Your eyes widen in horror.
“Please don’t tell me you want us to celebrate our one month anniversary. I haven’t planned anything for that.”
Jin rolls his eyes.
“I would argue that our one-month anniversary is tomorrow, if we’re being precise, because that’s when we, um, really talked about it.”
He’s not wrong. It had been a pleasant thing, to wake up in his arms the morning after, to the sensation of his lips gently kissing your neck, and an even nicer thing to take your breakfast with him. You couldn’t pinpoint why exactly. It had just been what had absolutely and irrevocably sealed the  deal for you. You knew it hadn’t been a mistake. You wanted to be with him.
“Hmm, but there is still some sort of anniversary to be celebrated tonight then,” you say, leaning over the counter. “I’m sure I could prepare something for that.”
His ears and neck flush, and Yoongi has the delicacy of not pointing it out this time.
“That’s not— That’s not what I’m talking about! Today is the white day.”
You raise an eyebrow.
“That’s when boys are supposed to give chocolates back to the girls they like,” Jin elaborates.
“But I didn’t give you chocolates,” you say.
“No, but you’re still the one who— Yoongi, I swear to God— You know. You’re the one who took the first step.”
Despite his recent outburst, it’s obvious that he feels embarrassed and vulnerable in that moment. You’d kind of gathered that he really regretted not asking you out before Sungho had, but you had never thought that it was actually an issue.
“I’m really happy I did,” you tell him quietly. He’s not fond of PDA, but you still allow your fingers to brush against his. That feels discreet enough.
“I know,” he says, and there’s so much love in his eyes when he looks at you that it’s a real miracle that you don’t melt into a puddle right then and there. “But I still—” He sighs. “You’re really ruining my plans. This was meant to go over smoothly.”
“Sorry,” you apologize with a wide grin while he picks something up from behind the counter.
“There,” he mumbles, handing you the box.
You open it, genuinely curious. You feel the eyes of everyone else in the shop — Yoongi, Namjoon, Jungkook and, of course, Jin — on you, and you want to tell most of them off, but you suppose that since this is where most of your relationship development happened, they’re kind of part of the story too.
The box is filled with chocolates shaped like roses.
“I know it’s not much,” Jin is quick to say, “but I just wanted to—”
“Jin?” you interrupt him.
“Y-yeah?”
“I’m going to kiss you.”
His eyes go wide, and then he sighs, but he can’t force away the smile that’s forcefully making its way on his lips.
“Well, if you absolutely have to—”
But he doesn’t protest when you pull him over the counter to kiss him, hands gently closing over your shoulders. He even brings you back for a second, even briefer kiss, and there’s something fierce in his eyes then. He superbly ignores the cheers that come from your friends in the room.
“I have to warn you, you’re never getting rid of me now,” he says, and it’s light-hearted, but you know there’s a lot of truth behind those words.
“Good,” you simply reply. “I wouldn’t want that for the world.”
He looks like he wants to add something to that, but he chokes on the words, and he falls quiet instead. It’s just as good, really.
There are some things you don’t need words for.
Some things that can be expressed just as easily with a box full of rose-shaped chocolates.
1K notes · View notes
uwurakax · 3 years
Text
boy, i need you ♡
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pairing: akaashi x reader ♡
genre: angst // cheating // minimal swearing // suggestive (not explicit) ♡
summary: he knew it was wrong, every fibre of his being told him it needed to end with you. so why couldn’t he bring himself to do it? ♡
♡ sequel to ‘boy, i hate you’ - read the first part here ♡
word count: 2k ♡
author’s note: warning, not proofread or anything! wasn’t planning on part 2, but then it was brought up and i thought “hey i can work w a 2nd pt”. reader has no gender mentioned - but again ig default fem if theres vibes here? idk. also have a note at the end so there’s no spoilers here haha. excuse the crappy writing as always - my 2am brain refuses to work at any other time ty for coming to my tedtalk that no one cares about ✌️ ♡
♡ (inspired by f.u by little mix) ♡
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unfaithful
/ʌnˈfeɪθfʊl,ʌnˈfeɪθf(ə)l/
adjective
1. engaging in intimate relations with a person other than one’s regular partner in contravention of a previous promise or understanding
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Akaashi couldn’t say exactly why his infidelity started. Honestly there was nothing inherently wrong with your relationship. You were amazing, loyal, kind and everything he could ever want in a partner. He supposed at one point he was like that to you. Not anymore though. He could never be like that ever again. Not when he found comfort in the arms of another. Another that wasn’t you.
Akaashi knew it was wrong. Wholeheartedly he wanted to free you of the unforgivable. Did he take advantage of your sweet behaviour? Deep down inside, he knew he was. The cheap thrill of loving somebody else while you waited patiently for him back at home. Back at the home the both of you had made together. The home that he had inadvertently tainted with the presence of another. 
This is the last time.
How many times would he tell himself that? That the momentary pleasure he got from her was just that. That he’d stop before it went too far. 
Over a year later was already beyond what was classified as ‘too far’.
He couldn’t kid himself into thinking it was just a brief lapse in judgement anymore. Not when he didn’t stop. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair to you in the slightest. How could he do that? To the one he promised to love. The one to always be there for you, care for you. To do everything a good boyfriend should do. 
To never, ever be the reason for your tears.
He knew he didn’t have the right to feel this way. It was selfish. Completely and utterly selfish. But when he’d come home and find you there waiting for him, while he was whispering sweet nothings, words that should’ve only been reserved for you, to somebody else just minutes prior, he couldn’t help but feel his heart ache. Akaashi, ever so observant, noticed that you stopped faking your smile. He remembers the first time he saw it. 
5 months after his unfaithfulness began, something he swore that’d happen just once, he saw the look on your face. The warm smile you had greeted him with just earlier that morning before he left, was now gone. This smile wasn’t as bright, and the shine didn’t reach your eyes. He didn’t like this smile. It was beautiful of course, because it was from you, but he didn’t like how fake it was. You had given him some half-assed excuse.
“I’m just a little tired Keiji”
He knew you too well. Knew you were lying to him, but he couldn’t bring himself to press on further. Day after day, your smile continued to drop. Further and further, until it was some terrible imitation of the one he had fallen in love with years ago. No matter how much you tried to hide it, he would always notice the slight redness in the whites of your eyes. Dark and puffy under-eyes that you tried desperately to conceal. The tone of your voice, no longer lively and cheerful. He supposed after a year, you just didn’t want to pretend to be okay anymore. 
This will be the last time.
He’d break it off with you. His silent promises to spare you from anymore pain. The guilt ate away at him, feeling the nausea rise in his stomach. You deserved someone better than him, someone who would treat you the way you should be treated. He used to be that guy. Where did that man go? What happened to him? He supposed he didn’t have the right to be that person anymore.
He was always so tense thinking on what to say to you. On how to finally admit his wrongdoings. Whether you knew of his actions behind your back, finally voicing them out would be the nail in the coffin. The confirmation that he was indeed doing the things that you were suspecting him of. Perhaps thats why you could never ask or actually push forward with it.
Because even if you knew, with great certainty, you could deceive yourself into thinking he was still the boy you had fallen in love with all those years ago.
Akaashi only received a fleeting moment of peace from his thoughts of you when she was around. He absolutely despised it. It was despicable how he could find a sense of safety in her arms. It should’ve been you, only you. It was wrong. Completely and utterly wrong, and yet he couldn’t help but think it felt right. It was wicked and evil, there was no other way to put it. Her hands. Her kisses. Her touch. All the moments with her made him forget about you, if only for a brief period. The gentle feel and traces of her were like invisible tattoos, covering all the places you had marked, kissed and touched.
It was all just too intoxicating for him. From her silky smooth hair to the softness of her skin. However, when he ran his fingers all over her body, he couldn’t help but think of you. God he was pathetic. So, so badly he knew it was wrong. He already had you, had your love, had everything you had to give. So why would he run for comfort to her, only to end up wishing it was you instead? It didn’t make sense, and he couldn’t understand it at all.
“Keiji, why don’t you stay the night?”
“I can’t, I’m sorry”
“It can’t keep going on like this. You guys should break up. Then you wouldn’t have to keep going back there, and then you can finally stay here with me. Isn’t that what you want?”
No, it wasn’t. It was probably the reason why he’d never stay over with her. Because he always wanted to come home to you. If he didn’t want to stay with her, if he didn’t sleep in the same bed with her, if he didn’t want to hold her hand - everything he wanted to do with you - why did he still do it? Why! Why! Why! It constantly plagued his mind. He was just selfish.
⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅
And so, Akaashi sat in his car, with his grip on the steering wheel, thinking of the words to say. He knew he needed to be delicate, but firm. To the point, but not blunt. ‘This will be the last time’, he says to himself. The last time he thinks of the words to say. The last time he sits in his car contemplating about everything. The last time he has to hurt you. He’ll let you go, let you cry, even let you throw any object in reach to let out your frustrations on him. Just as long as he didn’t have to hurt you anymore. With a shaky breath, he unlocks the car door and steadies himself. He makes his way to house you both shared, hand on the handle as he closes his eyes. It’s time to face the music.
He quietly opens and closes the door behind him, setting his belongings on the dark oak table sat next to the door. He hears you in the kitchen, your feet padding around on the tiled floor. He makes his way there and freezes. You’re slaving away in a large t-shirt and shorts just a bit too big for you. They’re his without a doubt. You hear his shoes clicking against the floor and turn around to face him.
“Welcome home Keiji”
He hated that the gleam in your eyes was gone, and that your lips had to form a smile way too forced. He hated what he had done to you.
“I’m making your favourite, it should be ready in about 10 minutes”
With that, Akaashi loses all composure. He steps forward, his long legs carrying himself towards the stove top, situating himself behind you. He reaches around to turn it off, and moves the pot to the next hotplate. You turn around to question him, only to end up surprised at how close he was. You’re flustered, and he can easily tell how nervous you are at the way your eyes dart at anywhere else but him.
The temperatures rising in your body, and you swear that Akaashi can feel it steaming out of you. He closes the distance quickly, and soon enough your tongues are fighting for dominance against each other. He was in such bliss, it was like your lips were moulded to be with his. In moments like this he could forget. When your touch covered the traces of her. When your taste overwhelmed hers. He wanted you imprinted on him again. But he knew, knew that soon enough, he’d wash it away with his mistress. A continuous cycle of you and her. Disgustingly selfish.
This will be the last time.
The last time he takes your hand. The last time he has the pleasure of kissing you. The last time he undresses you. He takes his time, drinking in your form under the moonlight. Not even the darkness could overshadow your light. He knows you do the same, your eyes focused on him now. You push him forward so he falls back on the plush mattress. Why would he ever think about anyone else? He knew this had to be the last. The last time he’d let his eyes fall over you. He needed to save these moments in his head so he’d never forget.
The last luxury he’d have of you.
So he’d soak it all in, ingrain it forever. He needed to remember it vividly so he could look back. Look back at the idiot he was for ever hurting you in this way. He didn’t deserve you in the slightest. He thought that if he could capture every last detail, it could be the least of his karma. To miss what he took for granted.
How many times had he thought that himself?
And at the end of it all, he’ll just lay there. In the bittersweet afterglow of the love you two had shared. He’ll close his eyes and prepare himself to lose it all. Lose you. You think he’s asleep as he’s so still and his breathing so even. You’ll comb your fingers through his hair, just like you always do, and mumble quietly about your devotion to him.
“I love you, so much Keiji”
You pray he doesn’t hear you, but he does. As clear as day, you whisper confessions of love and admiration for him. He knows he doesn’t deserve it. Not in the slightest, not at all.
But the gentle kiss you place on his lips has him reeling, and his resolve cracks. He can’t do it, because he’s just that selfish. He knows that in the end, it won’t be the last time. He’ll go through it all again. The guilt will eat him alive. The feel of bile on the tip of his tongue no longer phasing him - he’s gotten used to the taste. He’ll break your trust, again and again, and then carelessly attempt to put the pieces back together, just to shatter them more. It’s cruel, he knows this. He wishes you’d just insult him. Cuss him out. Do anything, but show him love over and over. He loves you, he truly does, and he knows how horrific it is to do this to somebody you claim to love. He just wants you to hurt him, tell him what a disgusting asshole he is, how he’s a piece of shit, a waste of space. Any and everything you can think of.
But you don’t.
And while you continue to show him affection, he’ll drown in the abyss of despair that he, himself put him in. Because during these moments he could pretend that you actually loved him. That you didn’t know of his cheating ways. That he wasn’t touching you with the same hands that held someone else.
So tomorrow it’ll all start over, and the cycle will continue. He’ll keep on breaking your heart, and you’ll both pretend to be okay with it. No matter how many times he told himself it would be the last.
He hoped that one day he wouldn’t be such a coward. That he would finally cut the strings that tied you both together and just end it. Akaashi knew it was wrong, but he was just that selfish and hypocritical.
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extra: IM SORRY! i know this probably wasn’t the part 2 that was wanted but 🤟😭 i couldn’t help myself! pls give any akaashi merch hugs and kithes 🥺🥺 my friend told me this mad him mad at him (i was going for sad, so im sorry if you get angry 😭) 💕✨ tysm if you read it 💝
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duckpatrolstories · 3 years
Text
𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐄, tetsuro kuroo x reader – ch. 3
— in which an unfortunate bartender in the wrong place at the wrong time gets kidnapped by one of the biggest crime syndicates in the city.
female reader, original on wattpad, cw; swearing, violence, blood, kidnapping, suggestive context, sexualisation
word count: 1498 — first previous next
They flanked you like a hungry pack of wolves. They cornered you, trapped you, ripped away any hope of escape.
You crawl away from the men, trying to get some distance. "Get away! Leave me alone!" you shout.
As they step closer, you see the faces of the men. Glasses guy and the ravenette were the ones that saw ahead and went around front to block off the alleyway.
"Quiet, now girly," glasses guy says lowly. "You don't want anyone to hear you."
Your eyes widen and you quickly scramble to your feet, your mind immediately going to the worst that could happen to you. You try to run back the other way, but stop when you see the silver-haired man standing there.
"Fuck..." you mutter under your breath.
Curiosity really does kill the cat, doesn't it?
"Grab her," the silver-haired man orders.
The other two men quickly lunge at you, each one grabbing an arm tightly.
"No! Get off me! Let me go!" you snarl, trashing your body wildly to try and get free. But the men easily hold onto you. It pisses you off.
You start to feel a little helpless and you kick and squirm to no avail, but it isn't enough for you to give up and accept whatever is going to happen to you.
The silver-haired man steps forward, pulling a handkerchief from his pocket. He gags you with it, tying it tightly behind your head.
"Bring her out here," he orders and walks out of the alleyway and back into the parking lot.
You continue to fight as the two men drag you out into the parking lot, your cries for help suppressed by the handkerchief. And at the nod of the silver-haired man, they push you down onto your knees, tightly holding your arms up by your wrists.
You glance beside you and see mohawk dude sitting up with his busted knee clutched in his hands. His short friend kneels beside him with a first aid kit and tries to tend to his injury the best he can.
"Now," the silver-haired man speaks and you look up at him. "We can do this the easy way or the hard way."
"Easy way; you be a good girl and cooperate with us," glasses guy says, gazing down at you.
"Hard way; your body will be so bruised and beaten they won't be able to identify it," the ravenette sneers, a malicious grin growing on his features.
"Think it over carefully, now," the silver-haired man says, stepping into an intimidating pace before you. "We won't have a problem with whichever way you want to go."
You don't need to think it over. Cooperating sounds better than the police finding an unidentifiable corpse behind a bar. However, you've realised that this is something much bigger than a simple drug dealing. These men are with the Yakuza.
And if what you heard about them is true, the Yakuza are unpredictable, merciless, and brutal. They aren't afraid to get their hands dirty, twist the truth in their favour, use and cheat those around them to their advantage.
They are criminals with absolutely no remorse for their horrendous actions.
If you were to choose the easy way, they can go with the opposite and beat you to death.
After giving you time to think, the silver-haired man reaches over and pulls the handkerchief out of your mouth. "Your decision?" he asks.
You exhale sharply through your nose, your chin down casted as your gaze bores into him. Your stomach churns at the thought of doing as they say, wanting you to fight back, but you're smarter than that. If you fight back any more than you already did, you'll for sure meet your maker. But if you go the easy way, there's still a chance you can make it out of this alive.
"I'll cooperate," you reluctantly say, hating every syllable that rolls off your tongue. But what other choice do you have when you don't want to die?
The silver-haired man smiles and you feel a sense of dread slowly crawl through your body.
"Good," he says and he takes a couple of steps back. "I'll just ask a few simple questions to gauge the severity of the situation, and you'll answer truthfully, alright?"
You nod, your body itching with fear. You can't help but shake the feeling you made the wrong choice.
"How much did you see and hear?" he asks.
You take a second to think over your answer. If you lie and say nothing, he might go easy on you. He might think you're too scared of what could happen to you, too scared to tell anyone. However, it could be the exact opposite.
If you tell the truth, there's the chance you will be killed for how much you say you know.
"Nothing," you say firmly. "I was just taking out the trash. I was gonna head right back in."
The silver-heard man gives an amused huff, tilting his chin up to stare down his nose at you. One commanding glance towards the ravenette with his brown eyes and your heart drops to your gut again.
The ravenette grabs a fistful of your hair and holds your head up. In one swift movement, the silver-haired man socks you square in the fist. His knuckles dig into the bridge of your nose, almost fracturing the fragile bone.
You strain out a scream as the ravenette lets go of your hair, letting your head fall. You stare at the concrete beneath your knees with tear-blurred vision, wanting desperately to hold your nose in a sad attempt to subdue the searing pain. Blood drips down from your nostrils, down your lips and chin, and onto the concrete.
"You wouldn't have been hiding if that was the case," the silver-haired man points out.
You choke back sobs, the pain unbearable. And the blood tastes like old pennies in your mouth. Disgusting.
"So let's try this again," he says.
You manage to bring your head up and look at him, spitting out the blood infiltrating your mouth and assaulting your tongue with its sharp, metallic flavour.
"How much did you see and hear?" he asks, his tone dropping the friendly facade and acquiring a menacing seriousness.
"Just you guys ripping off shortie and mohawk here," you say, your voice wavering. "Something about this White Crow, too, but that's it."
Debating if your answer is satisfactory enough, the silver-haired man hums. After a long minute, he begins to pace again.
"What should we do about you..." he says quietly to himself, tapping his chin in thought. "You know a little too much for my liking. I mean, you can easily go report all of this when we're done here, can't you?" he rhetorically asks, turning to you.
"I won't tell anyone," you say with pleading eyes. "I won't report this. I'll keep my mouth shut."
Completely ignoring your words, the silver-haired man focuses his attention on the short blond and mohawk dude.
"Kuroo won't like you two coming back empty-handed, and this young lady here is quite the beautiful creature," he says with a smile, but when he glances back at you it falters a bit. "Well, without all the blood spewing from her nose..."
"A bed warmer won't equate to White Crow," the short blond snips at him, finishing wrapping up his friend's leg. "Especially one that's all beat up."
"I wouldn't be so sure about that," the silver-haired man counters. "Kuroo doesn't seem to be the picky type."
"You sick fucks..." you growl, starting to thrash against the men's grips. "You sick, sick fucks!"
No way in hell are you going to let this happen to you. You would rather die.
"Let me go! Let me go, fuckers!" you try to rip your wrists out of their grasps, attempting to stand up and kick your way out.
But they easily overpower you. The wind knocks out of your lungs as your chest collides to the ground, a knee pressing into your spine. Your arms are pulled behind you and pinned against your back tightly, your cheek grazing against the concrete, the rugged texture cutting and tearing up your skin.
You struggle to breathe, squirming beneath the men as they hold you down.
"Quiet," glasses guy sharply warns as he drives his knee harder into your back. You let out a distressed noise.
"Besides, she's got too much fight in her," the short blond says, packing away the first aid kit. "Why don't you just kill her?"
"No, no... no!" you shout, squirming and trying to kick free again. "No! Don't kill me!"
"What the hell did I just say? Quiet!" glasses guy glowers. He grabs you by the hair and lifts your head before brutally banging it against onto the ground.
Everything goes black.
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maliby · 4 years
Text
Hard | ty (m)
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↬ Pairing: sub idol!Taeyong x fem dom idol!Reader | idol!Jaehyun x idol!Reader (if you squint) ↬ Story Genre: smut, pwp, tiny bit of angst, idol!au ↬ Warnings: explicit language, explicit sex scene, improv kinky shit (when the urges call and you ain’t home, you gotta work with what you got lmao) ↬ Word count: 4K ↬ Summary: Jealousy led you to spy on your boyfriend Taeyong at Music Bank. Jealousy also led you to fuck the shit out of him in NCT’s dressing room so everyone could hear who he belonged to.
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“So, Jaehyun-ah, who’s your ideal type?” 
NCT 127 was in the midst of their ‘Kick it’ comeback, which meant endless promotions. The show currently airing on the TV in your dorm’s living room was a new one called ‘Glossy Gossip’. You didn’t particularly like this show or the nosy host, but it was really popular amongst fangirls and thus NCT 127 was on it. This time though, only Jaehyun and your boyfriend Taeyong had been invited.
“Mmmh, I’d say Y/N from Pixies.” 
Jaehyun’s crush on you was no news for you, in fact, even everyone in NCT 127 knew of it. The surprising thing was that he was admitting it on national television right in front of your boyfriend. You would be lying though if you said you didn’t enjoy watching Taeyong trying to hide his jealousy by clenching his jaw.
Before you met your boyfriend, you had made out with Jaehyun at Seulgi’s birthday party. For you, it was just a fling, which was why you convinced Jaehyun not to tell Taeyong. Ruining their team dynamic because of an old fling just wasn’t worth it. 
The whole situation changed when Jaehyun decided to out the both of you on a game of truth or dare. He asked you between him and Taeyong who was the better kisser and after assuring your boyfriend that it was a meaningless fling from before the two of you had met, you answered Taeyong. 
“I love it! Keeping it in the SM family! She is very beautiful, you two would make a dashing couple!” The MC said, making you immediately cringe at her words.
“What about you Taeyong-ah, who’s your ideal type?” 
You thought he was going to say your name, after all, you would definitely say his, but your world dropped as soon as another woman’s name fell off of his lips.
“Lisa,” he said nonchalantly, as he plunged a metaphorical dagger into your heart.
“Ohhh, last time she was here she said you were exactly her type! Can I be invited to your wedding?”
You picked up the remote and immediately turned off the TV, not being willing to hear his response.
How could he say that without an inch of hesitation? How could he say fucking Lisa’s name and not yours? Was he that petty because Jaehyun had said your name? Or were you just that insignificant to him?
That day you ignored all of Taeyong’s messages and calls. You even skipped practice and stayed home so you wouldn’t run the risk of bumping into him at SM. You thought that that would be enough to make him understand that you didn’t want to talk to him but as soon as you heard him knocking at your door you realized how stupid you were to underestimate his persistence.
“Y/N let me in, I know you’re in there.”
“You must be mistaken, Blackpink’s dorm is 100 meters from here,” you yelled back at him in a petty tone.
He stopped knocking, a sigh being the only thing you could hear through the door. “Y/N I’m sorry, I was being petty about the whole Jaehyun situation and him saying your name…”
You opened the door and saw him standing there with these sad puppy eyes that tugged at your heartstrings, but you were still fucking hurt.
“You really fucking hurt me, Yong.”
“Fuck, I know,” he ran in to hug you but you were aching so much that you couldn’t even hug him back. “I regretted it the moment I said it, that’s why I said that thing after.”
“What thing?” You broke off the hug, curiosity getting the best of you.
“You didn’t watch it?”
“I turned off the TV. As you can imagine, I wasn’t exactly eager to watch you talk about your future wedding with Lisa.”
He got closer to you and placed his hand on your cheek wanting to comfort you, “I said: ‘I’m sorry, I meant pizza’.”
There was a brief moment of silence before you broke out laughing.
“You really told her your ideal type was pizza?” It hurt that he said her name, but the fact that he regretted it right away and tried to mend it made you feel a lot better.
“Yes, you should have seen her face.” 
The smile on his face was one of relief, a smile so sweet you couldn’t help to stare for, after all, you loved him with all your heart.
Taeyong gave you a soft kiss after a while of just staring, sighing against your lips. “I really am sorry baby, I wish I hadn’t caused you pain like that.”
“It’s fine now,” you leaned into the hand that was caressing your cheek so you could feel his warm touch.
“Will you forgive me?”
“I will.”
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You promised Taeyong you would forgive him, but when it came to forgetting it was a whole different story. Especially when you learned that Blackpink was having a comeback and, therefore, going to the same music show programs as NCT 127.
You trusted Taeyong, you did, but the truth of the matter was that Lisa had confessed your boyfriend to be her ideal type, and now with his little slip up on national television you were sure she could get the wrong fucking idea and mess with what was yours. Taking all that into consideration, you decided that you needed to go to Music Bank to spy on them.
You knew your members would never cooperate with your dumb idea, especially your strict leader, so, taking advantage of the fact that your period was due tomorrow you made up some excuse about cramps so you could ‘stay home and rest. It was all a bunch of crap, of course, but something inside of you was telling you that you needed to be there, so you pulled up a favour with your manager and voilà, you were in.
You pulled up your face mask, tugged down your Adidas hat (to try and cover up your identity as much as possible), and went on exploring. 
In reality, there weren’t that many places Taeyong could be in but, knowing your boyfriend’s appetite, you’re almost sure he’d be at the cafeteria. So, with that in mind, you turned right and followed the line of hungry idols to the cafeteria. 
So far, none of the idols you walked by had recognized you, but in all fairness, none of them were your friends. The true test came when you saw Yuta speaking with Yuto from Pentagon near the entrance of the cafeteria. Yuta saw you practically every day, thus it would be highly likely that he would recognize you. So, you turned your head in the opposite direction, sped up your pace, and prayed to the Lord he wouldn’t recognize you. 
What you didn’t expect was, after successfully passing by the two Japanese friends without being recognized and preparing to open the cafeteria doors, going face-first to an exiting Johnny and falling backwards, dropping your hat on the floor in the process.
“Oh, I’m so sor-” he reached for your hand but stopped in surprise as he recognized you, leaving you to stand up on your own. “Y/N? What are you doing here?”
“Y/N?” You heard Yuta also ask behind you.
“Fuck.” You whispered to yourself as you tried to think of an excuse that wouldn’t make you look like a crazy person. “I- Oh! I’m here because Taeyong asked me to bring him something that he forgot,” you smiled, feeling proud of your lie.
“Oh, ok,” he answered, “not like him to forget things though.” 
“Yeah, he must be stressed with this whole comeback thing, you know how he is. Is he in the cafeteria?”
“Yeah, he’s grabbing a snack with-”
“No!” You heard Yuta interrupt him, immediately ditching his friend and coming into your conversation with Johnny. “He left 5 minutes ago, don’t you remember Johnny?”
“Oh, yes, right. I’m so worried about the stage performance that I totally forgot.”
Johnny was a terrible liar, one of the reasons why you loved playing poker with him, and one of the reasons why your heart was beating so fast right now. You knew he was lying. You knew they were lying, and if they were lying, that meant that Taeyong was definitely in the cafeteria and probably doing something that you wouldn’t like.
“Let me through,” you passed through Johnny and Yuta and walked right in the cafeteria, immediately spotting Taeyong and Lisa giggling while they filled their stomachs with sandwiches. You should feel better at the fact that they were in the company of Jennie, Mark and Jaehyun and not alone but in reality, you didn’t.
Taeyong had his back to you so he could never have predicted the way in which you were about to storm into their conversation. You marched towards their table, pulled out the empty chair right next to your boyfriend and stared right at Lisa.
“Is this seat taken? Thanks” you sat even before she could answer.
“Oh Y/N!” she interjected as you took off your mask, “I didn’t know you were promoting,” she innocently smiled at you, not having a clue of the shit storm that was about to happen.
In truth, not even the idols knew of your relationship with Taeyong, only your group, NCT and a few SM people but that’s it. So, you couldn’t really blame Lisa for taking advantage of one of the hottest fucking guys on this planet saying on television that he’d be down to fuck her. Of course not, that would be irrational of you, but see, irrational was all you could manage to be right now.
“Can I join in?” You asked Taeyong, his eyes in shock as he looked at you, “it sounds like you were having a very lovely conversation.”
“Baby, it’s nothing I swear,” he immediately said.
“Oh, it’s not?”
“Ok, we need to get back to the dressing room. Let’s go, Jennie,” Lisa got up and left with her bandmate, fully understanding what was happening.
“Fuck, Taeyong, why are you doing this to me?” Tears were pricking at your eyes and you had the full notion that everybody was staring at you right now but you didn’t fucking care.
“Y/N, I wasn’t doing anything we were just talking about our comebacks I swear. Mark and Jaehyun were here the whole time they can tell you,” he desperately looked at his friends.
“Y/N it’s true, everywhere else was full so I asked them if they wanted to sit with us, it’s my fault,” Mark said. You had always loved Mark, you treated him like a baby brother, and you trusted him completely but, even he couldn’t make you feel better about this whole thing.
“Baby, I love you, I only want to be with you, trust me when I tell you this,” Taeyong grabbed your hand to calm you down, but you were so sick of this Lisa situation that you could only think of one thing. You grabbed Taeyong’s hand, pulled him up, and dragged him to his dressing room.
He tried to talk to you on your way there, to calm you down, but you completely ignored him. Talking wasn’t what you needed right now. You needed to make him yours and make you scream your name and no one else’s. 
When you reached the dressing room you noticed the unnie that did their makeup sanitizing all the products to use on the members. Luckily, she also did your makeup from time to time and was your friend, so you didn’t feel awkward when you asked her if you could talk to Taeyong alone. She kindly conceded to your request and you followed her to the door, making sure to lock it after she left.
“Y/N?” He slowly got near you, testing the waters. When he moved to touch your cheek you blocked it. You placed your hands on his shoulders and pushed until he sat on the nearest makeup chair.
“First, you say another woman’s name on national television, and then, you decide to make friends with her, behind my back. Do you want to fuck her? I know her dressing room is right next to this one, manager unnie told me. I can go in there and fetch her for you to fuck her, how’s that?”
“No! I only want you, you’re the only one for me, I swear!”
“Then don’t you fucking forget that,” you grabbed him by his sharp jaw and made him look right into your eyes before you straddled him and violently kissed him, like a wild animal marking its territory.
Taeyong’s hands promptly grabbed your ass but you swatted them out. “Do you want me? Do you want it? First, you have to be a good little boy, got it?”
This wasn’t the first time you dominated him. It all started with an innocent question: ‘Baby, do you have any kinks?’. From looking at Taeyong’s stage persona alone one would be miles away from imagining that he liked to be a sub from time to time. Everything about him screamed ‘raw dominating sex’, so to say you were a little surprised when he asked you to dominate him in bed was an understatement but the truth was, you liked it far more than you could ever have imagined. So, since then, dom Y/N was a common occurrence in bed, and she definitely was about to make an appearance at one of Music Bank’s dressing rooms.
“Yes,” you pressed harder on his cock to make him realize he was missing a little something. “Yes, ma’am. I’ll be your good little boy”
“That’s my baby boy,” your hand slid down his chest and abs which were exposed thanks to the revealing outfit he was wearing for the ‘Kick it’ promotions.
“I need you to do something for me baby,” you got up from on top of him, already missing the way his hardening cock was pressing against your centre, and placed your foot on top of his dick, applying a little bit of pressure. “Untie my sneakers and take out the shoelaces.”
While he worked on your shoes you made sure to massage his dick, you needed him to be nice and hard for what you had in store for him. Once he was finished you picked up one of the shoelaces and placed the other on the vanity right next to you. You then moved to his back and tied his hands behind the chair.
“Taeyong, Taeyong...why are you so misbehaved? Why do you have to make me look like a crazy bitch in front of everyone?”
“I-I don’t know ma’am.” You straddled him once again, the pressure on his cock making him choke upon his words.
“You don’t know?” You reached for the other shoelace and slowly ran it over his body, making his nipples perk up. “I think your problem is that you’re way too damn handsome.”
While your left hand moved between you two to cup his hard cock your right one grabbed his bleached hair to expose his neck to your starving mouth. “You drive me fucking crazy Yong.”
“Fuck,” he moaned.
Your hand slipped through his pants and squeezed his cock, wanting to feel him raw and hard. “Is this all for me baby?”
“Yes, just you. I can get hard just by looking at you-” and then your lips were on his, kissing him like nothing else mattered, like you two were the only ones in the world.
The handjob you were giving him and the making out session were getting you so turned on that you started to ride his thigh. 
Wanting to make you feel even better, Taeyong flexed his muscles and that extra bit of hardness made you pick up your pace, your kiss now becoming a mix of pants and lip bites. You let go of his cock and grabbed the back of the chair to help you ride his thigh better and in no time you were coming undone on top of him. 
“Shit,” you said once you were able to catch your breath. 
You looked into his eyes and noticed he was frustrated because you let go of his dick. “Are you frustrated baby boy?”
“Yes,” he whined.
“Then I’m sorry to tell you, but it’s only gonna get worse,” you took off your shirt and bra and started massaging your breasts right in front of his face, just out of his reach. “You want to touch them, baby?”
“I’d love to ma’am,” he proclaimed, his eyes completely fixated on your moves.
“Beg for them.”
“Can I please suck on your tits, they’re so beautiful.”
You raised yourself a bit so your boobs would be at the same level as his mouth and moved forward so he could kiss them. Instantly his skilled mouth picked up one of your nipples with his teeth and tugged on it, making you moan. The combination of him lapping his tongue around your nipple and then sucking on it was starting to rile you up all over again but, as much as you’d like to make him suck on your tits all day you couldn’t waste much time because the rest of the group needed the room to go on stage. So, after letting him play with your other nipple a bit more you got out from on top of him once again, a string of spit connecting your nipple with his mouth, and pulled his pants down, exposing his hard cock to the air.
“Look at that handsome cock, all hard for me.”
“C-can you please touch it ma’am?” his eyes were glazed, lost in lust.
“Since you asked so nicely baby…”
You got on your knees in front of him, grabbed his cock and proceeded to lick him all over, the moans escaping his sweet lips acting as a soundtrack to your dirty acts. You kissed and sucked, just like you were savouring a delicious lollipop. 
In truth, you just wanted to make his dick nice and wet for what you had planned next for him, but you loved sucking his cock so much that you totally got lost in it. You knew he was getting close to releasing because his moans were getting more aggressive, so you sped up and once he was about to cum you stopped, leaving him a frustrating mess yet again. He tried to get his dick close to your mouth but it was no use.
“Are you getting irritated, baby?” You teased while you dragged the hard tip of your shoelace on his chest again.
“Fuck, yes.”
“See, this is how you made me feel.” You gave a teasing little suck on the tip of his dick before you took the shoelace and tied it tight at the base of his cock, behind his balls, to act as an impromptu cock ring. “Irritated.”
Taeyong loved overstimulation, and you loved teasing the shit out of him. You also loved the way a cock ring would make his cock extra swollen for you and how it delayed his orgasm, a fact that you were definitely gonna use to punish him.
“Get up baby,” you pulled him up so he wouldn’t fall and made him lean on the vanity table full of makeup. You then turned around and started rubbing your ass on his boner rolling down your leggings and exposing your lacy panties to him.
“How are you so fucking hot?” he hissed.
“Wanna feel how wet I am for you baby?” You started rolling down your panties even before he hummed in response. You grabbed his dick from behind you and started rubbing his tip through your drenched folds.
“Fuck, you’re so wet.”
Suddenly someone knocked on the door, making your heart almost stop.
“Y/N leave our leader alone, we need to get ready for the stage!” Johnny’s voice said from the other side of the door.
“Just 5 more minutes!” You answered.
“Fine, make it quick!”
You turned around and searched the vanity for the scissors the makeup artist used to cut the fake eyelashes, rapidly finding them in her little kit. 
“Are you ready to fuck me, baby?” Taeyong had no idea what else you had in store for him, but he sure was about to find out.
“Fuck yes, free my hands please ma’am.”
“I will, but first, call for Lisa.” You were aware that with the scissors in your hand right now you probably looked like a psycho bitch that could cut out his wiener if he didn’t comply, but oh well.
“What? Why?”
“I know she can hear us if we’re loud enough, so you’re gonna call for her and then you’re gonna fuck me like you never have before, are we clear?” You grabbed his dick and spread the bead of precum that was leaking from his tip with your thumb.
“Fuck. LISA!” His eyes were closed in pure bliss as you teased him. “CAN YOU HEAR ME?”
“Taeyong? Yeah, is everything alright?” Her concerned voice sounded from the other side of the wall.
“You’re such a good boy, and good boys deserve treats,” you cut the shoelace that was restraining his hands and in a blink of an eye, he was taking control and bending you over the vanity to fuck you raw.
He didn’t ease into you, he didn’t need to, you were so fucking wet that he slid right into you, your name immediately slipping through his tongue.
“Fuck Taeyong, you’re fucking me so good.” You were sure to moan loud enough so everyone in the area knew what was happening.
“Fuck you feel so tight.”
He was pounding into you like a fucking crazed animal, like he had been starving in a cage and someone came, left a nice juicy steak in front of it and opened the door. In a matter of seconds, you were cumming undone on his cock, your pussy tightening around him even more.
“Oh Taeyong, fuck,” you moaned as he slowed down his pace.
“M-ma’am, I can’t take it anymore, I need to cum. Can you please remove this?” Suddenly he was back to sub Taeyong like he hadn’t just bent you over a table and fucked the shit out of you. That was why you loved him so much.
You slipped out of him, gave him a gentle kiss and led him back to the chair. “I will, but only on conditions: I want the whole floor to hear you scream my name…”
“And the other?”
“I want you to cum inside me.”
He smirked, seemingly happy to comply with your demands. “As you wish.”
You carefully snipped your other shoelace, relief apparent on his features, got on top of him and eased down on his cock all the way to the bottom. Wasting no time, you grabbed onto his shoulders and started fucking him.
“Fuck Y/N you feel so good.”
His praises were like fuel for you, serving to make you go faster and harder. You wanted to make him scream your name. You wanted Lisa to hear how good you made him feel. You, and no one else.
Getting irked by the thought of her, you grabbed onto his jaw to make him look you straight in the eyes. “Tell me who does your cock belong to?”
“Fuck, you Y/N, only you.”
“Then say it. Louder.”
“My cock only belongs to you Y/N, no one else.”
You didn’t need to hear anything else, his confession was enough to make you cum for the third time today. With the combination of your pussy trying to milk him and his edged out dick, Taeyong came inside of you, his seed filling you up. 
You were so fucking spent that you immediately fell down onto his chest panting. 
“Well, next time I’m the one who’s gonna piss Y/N off.” 
For a brief moment, as you snuggled in with your boyfriend, you almost forgot about the world outside, but Johnny’s stupid joke made the both of you break out in laughter.
“Backoff Seo, she’s mine and I’m hers.”
© maliby, 2020. Do not copy or repost without permission.
a/n: hey guys! feels so good to be back to writing filthy smut! this is my first time writing for NCT so fellow NCTzens please accept me <3 Hope you guys like it!
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The Last Weekend (S2, E13)
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It’s been a trip fam. Hopefully, it continues for a third season. Thanks for sticking with me this far. 
My time-stamped thoughts for this episode are below. As always I reference Malcolm’s mental health. A lot. So if that’s going to be a trigger for you, don’t keep reading.
SPOILERS AHEAD:
0:19 - That taxidermy is creepy af. 
0:25 - Ok. But like, this is amazing. Look at Malcolm. He’s confused,  annoyed, and a little pissed off but he doesn’t actually look scared. He just woke up in a strange place tied to a chair and the last thing he remembers is telling his father to run. He knows his serial killer father kidnapped him but he’s not scared because there’s a part of Malcolm that is so so desperate for Martin to love him. Malcolm is NOT okay. His reaction to being kidnapped by his serial killer father is evidence of that. This dude is not in a good mental place. I'm here for it. This is bad. 
0:40 - Groggy, annoyed, and sassy Malcolm is adorable.
0:51 - This is a woman who thinks not telling the NYPD about that Capshaw phone call killed her son. She doesn’t know where Malcolm is right now or if he’s alive. BUT Jessica knows Martin has Malcolm and therefore - Malcolm is not safe. The guilt and fear is oozing from Jessica and I want to hug her. :( <3
1:13 - Again. Malcolm is in danger. Why doesn’t Ainsley seem to be worried? At all?!? This girl’s lack of empathy is genuinely concerning. If my brother was abducted by our abusive father I would be a wreck. 
1:25 - “Don’t get cocky.” HA. What a great line. Although, it’s really sad to see how desperate Ainsley is for some attention from her mother. Although, I do love the contrast between this line and the line from 1x3: "You watch my reports?" "Not with the sound on". Jessica really is growing as a parent. I love that for her. 
1:31 - “Capshaw is claiming Malcolm was Dad’s accomplice.” WHY ISN'T AINSLEY UPSET ABOUT THIS. SHE’S ACTING LIKE IT’S JUST SOME JUICY GOSSIP. BE ANGRY GIRL. BE SCARED. BE UPSET. THIS IS YOUR BROTHER. At least Jessica is pissed and scared about it. 
1:46 - “Cruel eyes.” Has Capshaw ever looked at Malcolm? That boy has the sweetest eyes ever. They’re a gorgeous shade of blue, wide, and expressive. Never cruel. Often fearful. ALSO the fact that Capshaw looks at the window (where she knows Malcolm’s friends are standing) when she says this INFURIATES ME. I want this woman dead. She is the spawn of Satan and you can't change my mind. 
1:50 - The way Dani looks at Gil when he says, “You buying this?” is wonderful. This girl is scandalized at the idea that Gil might be buying Capshaw’s story. This girl is team Malcolm and I love her for it. She's so offended at the idea that Gil - the man who's known Malcolm since he was 10 years old - might think Malcolm is a bad guy. <3 <3 
1:52 - “Our boy’s crazy, but not that crazy.” <3 <3 <3 Every time JT calls Malcolm “our boy” or “our guy” my heart explodes. I love the evolution of their relationship so so so much. <3 Also JT is giving off major big brother vibes to Dani and Malcolm this episode and I LOVE IT. <3
1:54 - “Good. We all know she’s lying. Problem is we’re the only ones.” This whole scene. *CHEF’S KISS* Seriously, protective!Dani, protective!JT, and protective!Gil in the same scene?!? All going to bat for Malcolm? I’m in love. This is the found family content I’m here for. ALSO look at GIL. This man is so so pissed that someone is trying to paint his surrogate son as the bad guy. Gil is a good man but someone is threatening his family and that means he’s going to break his own rules. <3 I’m here for it. This is the kind of inner turmoil I subscribed to this show for. 
2:02 - "Good morning sleepyhead." I have thoughts. 1) If Martin truly cared about Malcolm why didn't he restrain Malcolm on one of those twin beds (where he could actually sleep) instead of tying him to a chair?!?! 2) Look at how hard Martin is trying to act like Malcolm's friend (not even a good friend). He's not acting like Malcolm's dad. A dad or a good friend wouldn't leave a guy who just suffered from an embolism alone and tied to a chair. They'd take him to a hospital, obviously that was out of the question here. So for the sake of this comparison, a good friend/dad would have put Malcolm on the bed, gotten some warm blankets for him, made sure water was close by, and stayed with him until he woke up - to you know, MAKE SURE HE'S STILL BREATHING?!?! BUT not Martin, this dude just waltzes into the room and delivers a mildly condescending yet cheery rendition of "good morning sleepyhead" almost as though Malcolm's unconscious state was a burden to Martin. Even though Malcolm was unconscious because MARTIN DRUGGED HIM (also not good!Dad behaviour). 
2:04 - "You drugged me?!?" This breaks my heart. After everything, Malcolm is still surprised (and rightfully annoyed) that his father drugged him. Malcolm knows that Martin is a bad man. He knows Martin has drugged him before. He knows he shouldn't trust Martin but after everything there's still a part of Malcolm desperate to believe that Martin loves him. PLUS one of the last memories Malcolm has before he woke up in this motel is of Martin saving his life. Malcolm was giving in to the "maybe Dad really does love me" mentality. It's heartbreaking and I want to give Malcolm a hug. 
2:23 - I find this whole exchange so upsetting yet interesting. Both Malcolm and Martin are being openly hostile to each other. Usually, Malcolm is civil to Martin but right now, Martin is NOT chained to a wall and Malcolm is acting like an argumentative and whiny teenager (and rightfully so but still not a safe move). Martin is matching Malcolm’s mood. Martin is engaging in Malcolm’s frustration with an off-putting amount of cheer. I honestly believe Martin is just ecstatic that he’s been given an opportunity to ‘be a father’ again. There’s also a part of me that is completely convinced that Martin was already hatching his plan to have Malcolm kill him. Why would he do that? My answer: 1) Martin doesn’t want to go back to prison, 2) To finally get revenge on Malcolm for turning him in in 1998, 3) he’s a predatory psychopath and he saw an opportunity to screw with someone, 4) Martin is pissed off that Malcolm keeps trying to distance himself from Martin. Martin see’s it as betrayal and he wants to make Malcolm suffer. 
2:25 - THIS. IS. AMAZING. The way Malcolm immediately panics and tries to escape Martin when the switchblade comes out is incredible. You can see Malcolm’s perspective shift. We actually see it flip back and forth all episode. Half the time, Malcolm is a little boy desperately trying to convince himself that Martin has changed and that Martin loves him. The other half of the time, Malcolm is a logical and educated adult who knows Martin is a dangerous killer who is trying to manipulate him. It’s such a compelling dichotomy.
 2:44 - “We are the victims here Malcolm.” I absolutely believe that Martin believes this statement. HOWEVER, I also think he’s using the situation to his advantage in an attempt to sway Malcolm’s trust in him. 
2:52 - “You’re in a pickle.” This infuriates me. Martin does NOT love or care about Malcolm. What Martin does love - is what Malcolm does for him. ie. Providing him a connection to the real world (visiting him in prison), giving him an outlet for his attention-seeking needs, giving him a plaything to manipulate. Martin views Malcolm as a pet NOT a person and NOT a son. That kills me. 
2:55 - “I need to call Gil.” <3 <3 This is absolutely beautiful and terrifyingly stupid. Beautiful because Malcolm is in trouble and his knee-jerk reaction is “Gil can help. I trust Gil. Gil loves me. He’ll listen. He’ll help.” <3 <3 So precious. It’s scary though because it’s no secret that Martin views Gil as a threat to his family. This will make Martin more determined to manipulate Malcolm. Because again, Martin views everything as possessions. He doesn’t actually love Malcolm, Ainsley, and Jessica. He loves the idea of them and what he can do with them. He doesn’t actually care about them though. He only cares about their wellbeing to the extent of how it will affect him. (SIDE NOTE: I’m honestly crushed that we didn’t get a proper Gil+Martin face off during this finale.)
2:58 - “Gil’s great and all.” This man speaketh from his ass. He hates Gil. This is some damn fine manipulation. He’s interaction with Malcolm in a way he knows Malcolm will have a positive reaction. I respect it. It also makes my blood boil (out of love for Malcolm).
3:05 - “Who would you believe?” This hurts. Look at how absolutely crushed Malcolm looks. Malcolm knows no one will believe him. Why would they? He’s the son of a serial killer with well documented mental health issues and well documented issues with rule-following. It’s common knowledge that he’s an intense and weird dude. And it’s all Martin’s fault. 
3:07 - “Can we talk?” I’m impressed. First, Martin complements the man he knows Malcolm respects more than anything. Then, he appeals to Malcolm’s insecurities and fears of being ‘The Surgeon’s son’. He does it all calmly, in a comforting tone of voice. This is manipulation at its finest. 
3:17 - “You look ridiculous.” This is Malcolm fully aware that Martin just tried to manipulate him. It still hurt Malcolm because those fears about no one believing him are completely rational and a very logical outcome of the scenario but at least Malcolm is aware of Martin’s game.
3:30 - “I’m Clare.” .....Clare = Claremont. Did Martin do that subconsciously or is he aware?  I can totally see him accidentally picking that name because after 20 years he’s begun to define himself as a part of the Claremont institution. He’s almost trying to maintain that link to the life he’s become accustom to. 
3:35 - “Too insane.” Holy shit. Malcolm sassing Martin is 1) hilarious but 2) super scary because I just keep waiting for Martin to snap and hurt Malcolm for his “disrespectful and ungrateful behaviour”. Malcolm really has no fear in this scene and I’m scared for what that means for his mental state. It’s not good. That much I know. 
3:45 - “I’m not your friend.” This broke my heart. Malcolm is so upset as he delivers this little outburst. He can see that Martin is trying to act like his friend instead of a loving father. It’s killing the little boy inside of Malcolm. It’s also frustrating for Malcolm because he wants so badly to do the right thing (turn Martin in) but he also just wants his dad to act like a real dad. 
3:55 - The fear in Malcolm’s eyes when Martin brings the knife back out. <3 Gorgeous. 
4:00 - The trepidation in Malcolm’s face as Martin cuts him loose. <3  ALSO, “I didn’t kill you. That’s gotta count for something.” why the hell should that count for something now? Martin tried to kill a 10 year old Malcolm. That should be the end. Any FATHER who tries to kill his 10 year old son (no matter what the kid may have done) is a garbage human and that child should never be told he has to forgive, trust, or have a relationship with his father. On some level Malcolm knows this BUT he’s also desperately trying to convince himself that Martin is a changed man. 
4:12 - WTF Ainsley? This scene genuinely makes me believe Ainsley has been somehow involved in this whole prison break scheme. Or at least, she’s been in contact with Martin since the escape. 
4:43 - “You’ve got to be kidding me.” Okay. Fine. Ainsley is finally showing a bit of fear here. But is it because of the Woodsman? Something tells me Martin has gotten into Ainsley’s head and Ainsely genuinely believes that Malcolm is safe with Martin. The Woodsman changes things though. Maybe the Woodsman was a variable Ainsley wasn’t expecting or didn’t plan with Martin. 
5:00 - “Why are we in Vermont?” First of all - there’s something precious about the way this line was delivered. Secondly, why is Malcolm eating? Doesn’t most food make him sick (1x1)? This is a high stress situation - presumably he’d be too nauseous/stressed to eat right now. 
5:15 - “That dream’s as dead as your 23 victims.” hahahaha ZING. This line actually hurts though. It’s not just Martin’s dream that’s dead. Malcolm’s is too. Presumably Malcolm has a fantasy somewhere in the back of his mind where he’s happily married with children. Hell, maybe his children visit their grandparents every weekend for Sunday brunch? But Malcolm probably doesn’t actually think he can have kids or a spouse because he’s terrified of what kind of a father and husband he’d be. That’s Martin’s fault. Martin has doomed Malcolm to avoid the deep, meaningful relationships in life that Malcolm clearly craves. 
5:25 - “I’m absolutely right” The anger in Malcolm’s voice is incredible and concerning. On one hand, it’s great that he’s being honest with Martin. He’s making Martin work for his trust and he’s communicating that Martin ruined certain aspects of Malcolm’s life. On the other hand, this boy has no sense of self-preservation. He’s provoking a predatory psychopath. He’s almost begging Martin to hurt him. I’m terrified at what that means for Malcolm’s mental health. 
5:35 - “Don’t you ever think it’s possible that I changed?” Look at Martin’s big stupid face. He doesn’t believe that he’s changed. He’s just trying to manipulate Malcolm. Martin doesn’t view Malcolm as a son. Just as a plaything. 
5:55 - “You want to find a missing woman. That’s your brilliant plan?” It’s an excellent plan. It’s a plan Martin knows Malcolm won’t be able to deny. Martin has observed Malcolm’s obsession with understanding serial killers for 23 years. Martin has watched Malcolm torture himself to save the victims of serial killers. Martin knows this is the one plan that will (at least temporarily) stop Malcolm from turning him in. Malcolm’s need to help other people is stronger than his need to help himself. So again, Martin is a shitty father. 
6:19 - “I worked the Woodsman case at the bureau for years.” Of course he did. $100 bucks says Martin knew that and he planned this out before his escape. Capshaw was an inconvenient hiccup in the plan but he was always going to kidnap Malcolm and try to manipulate Malcolm into becoming his partner in crime. 
6:42 - “Someone who’s not going to call Gil Arroyo the first chance he gets.” Damn. Martin feels threatened by Gil’s relationship with Malcolm. Which is why an escaped!Martin and Gil showdown would’ve made my year. 
6:46 - How convenient that Jeannie is from New York. 
6:52 - “But we could save her. Together.” Ugh. This breaks my heart. You can see that Malcolm knows Martin is manipulating him. You can also see that this is an offer Malcolm can’t deny. Saving people and finding/understanding killers is what keeps Malcolm sane. PLUS he desperately wants to spend time with the ‘nice’ version of his dad. The one he remembers from 1998. Malcolm is eating out of the palm of Martin’s hand and it’s so so so upsetting. 
7:01 - Why does Gary look so much like Deputy Crutchfield? It’s the moustache. 
7:10 - “This is my partner. Cameron.” UGh. I’m going to throw up. 1) Malcolm’s startled expression melts my heart. This boy does not want to be Martin’s partner in any sense of the word.  2) Was Martin implying that Cameron is Clare’s sexual partner? The hand around Malcolm’s shoulders made it feel that way to me. 
7:15 - Ugh. :( The way Malcolm looks at the hand on his shoulder. :( You can see how conflicted he feels. He likes the gentle, fatherly physical affection from Martin but he knows that Martin is a killer and this is an act. You can see that Malcolm knows this is all a hoax but you can also see how desperately Malcolm wants to believe in it. 
7:45 - OMG. This is a man who hasn’t been in public for a very long time. This is not socially acceptable behaviour and Malcolm looks so embarrassed and scared (that someone will recognize the serial killer making loud noises of pleasure over his pancakes). 
7:55 - I love that Malcolm isn’t eating. It aligns with Malcolm’s canonical eating problems. Kudos for the rare plot consistency.
8:13 - “I suppose I’m a little bisexual.” Ugh. Shut up Martin. You absolute moron. You’re not bisexual. You’re just a manipulative nutcase. It does make me wonder though, is this Martin’s way of trying to bond with Malcolm? Like maybe (whether it’s true or not) Martin thinks Malcolm might not be straight and he’s trying to have a father-son coming out of the closet moment? .....it sounds like a reach even in my head but here I am with this theory.
8:39 - The fact that Martin is such a verbal feminist throughout this show is so off putting to me. He’s a serial killer. He has no issues MURDERING people for FUN. Yet somehow it feels like I’m supposed to respect him more than the average man because he believes women are people with rights? Nah. It makes me hate him more because I don’t thinks he’s an actual feminist. I think he’s acting. He’s trying to appeal to what will make him seem more likeable. I think it’s a tactic he uses to soften Malcolm to his manipulation. 
8:48 - “I worked this case for years. Almost lost my mind over it.”........okay so I want more details on this. Did the FBI take him off the case? Did he stop working the case because he was fired? Did Gil watch Malcolm become consumed by the case and beg him to take himself off the case? 
8:52 - “I called every number at the FBI. You wanted nothing to do with me.” I hate Martin. He’s trying to blame Malcolm. He’s suggesting that more women could have been saved from the Woodsman if Malcolm hadn’t been ignoring Martin while he worked for the FBI. Martin is actually implying that the Woodsman could have been caught years ago if Malcolm wasn’t such a bad son. 
8:57 - “...such anger issues. Still do.” I’m going to punch him. I hate Martin. He’s mentally torturing our mental-fragile baby and he’s having fun doing it. Malcolm looks absolutely wrecked and my heart is shattering. Someone needs to give Malcolm a hug. Yesterday. 
8:59 - This moment has been giffed but damn is it worth pointing out again. The way Malcolm is self-soothing with his left hand while his right hand shakes is gorgeous. It really shows the depth of Malcolm’s inner conflict. I’m in love with this moment. Give Tom Payne an Emmy. Please.
9:13 - “There’s no time, my boy.” Every word that comes out of Martin’s mouth is calculated and manipulative. He has Malcolm exactly where he wants him and I hate it. 
10:05 - I’m 90% sure Martin already knows who the Woodsman is. He’s just playing dumb so he can screw with Malcolm’s head for longer.
10:17 - YES MALCOLM. Stand up to Martin. I love it. It also makes me worry about Malcolm’s mental health but I think we can all agree that Malcolm’s been on a downward spiral for months. At this point, our boy is not going to start improving his mental state until he hits rock bottom. 
10:19 - Martin actually looks shocked when Malcolm demands he earn his trust. Like it never occurred to him that Malcolm might be willing to rebuild the trust to begin with. 
10:30 - This whole scene between Gil and Ruiz is genuinely one of my top scenes of this episode (maybe even of the season). “The media will crucify him” “You might as well issue a shoot on sight order” “This isn’t a joke” “He has his demons but he’s not his father.” “I’ll stake my career on it.” This is one of the purest Papa!Gil scenes of the season and Malcolm isn’t even present. I love how Gil is literally willing to put his entire career on the line for Malcolm. I love how Gil is fighting for Malcolm in a public setting. Look at how the whole precinct watches the exchange. Gil is putting himself on the line in front of an entire precinct of people who respect him out of love for Malcolm. <3 <3 <3 
10:47 - “If he’s still alive.” If. Gil is terrified. Gil is losing hope. This isn’t like Watkins. Gil knows how desperately Malcolm wants Martin’s love and Gil knows that compromises Malcolm’s ability to profile his way out of a dangerous situation. Gil knows that Martin will kill Malcolm. Maybe not today, this week, or this year but it’s part of Martin’s plan. Gil knows that even if Martin doesn’t kill Malcolm - he’s capable of taking Malcolm away forever. Maybe by going on the run but maybe just because he tormented Malcolm to the point where Malcolm regresses to the scared 10-year old that Gil worked so hard to help. Gil knows Malcolm won’t survive that kind of trauma again. At least not mentally. Gil is terrified and I’m in awe. 
11:05 - “C’mon kid. Where the hell are you?” Hear that? It’s my heart shattering into a million pieces because this is the type of father Malcolm deserves. The fatherly concern Gil has for Malcolm is everything to me. 
11:20 - “Damn his daughter’s smoking.” hahahaha the irony. 
11:24 - Why am I so shocked and delighted that Malcolm has an NYPD ID? <3 It makes perfect sense that he’d have one but now I have these headcanons of Gil taking Malcolm around to the accounting office, and the administration offices to get him set up at the NYPD and my heart can’t handle how cute it is. 
12:12 - “You brought egg salad.” Ugh. These guys are so artificially in love and it grosses me out. 
12:54 - See what I mean? Crutchfield looks like Gary from the motel. I can’t unsee it. 
13:12 - Look another moment where Gil is CLEARLY thinking “this family I swear” hahahaha this man is so done with life today 
13:44 - “I know that look Jess.” <3 Aww....they’re practically married. <3 Jokes aside, this is amazing. Jessica respects Gil and she stops her plans when she notices the look on Gil’s face. She knows he’s not trying to control her - he’s trying to protect her and her children. He loves them and he’s trying to lighten her load. 
15:00 - “It’s your Lieutenant.” there’s a split second when you can see the hope, confusion, and fear clouding Malcolm’s face. For just a moment he thinks Gil is on the phone. Then the deputy says “Clare” and Malcolm’s expression transforms into one of annoyance and disgust. 
15:20 - “I didn’t have a credit card.” BAHAHAHAHAHA can we all just agree that talking about porn with your adult children is gross?
15:27 - This. Is. The. Worst. Thing. That. Could. Happen. The headline says “Son of Martin Whitly” and then later we find out Malcolm BRIGHT is on a wanted poster. Malcolm’s privacy from the press has been compromised. His life has been compromised. Nothing will ever be the same. This is bad for Malcolm’s already fragile mental health. His flimsy sense of safety has been forcibly removed and the public is going to crucify him again. Just for being Martin Whitly’s son. People are going to Google him. They’re going to find out he went to Harvard, that he was fired from the FBI, that he has mental health problems (although, Ainsley already exposed that). 
15:52 - Damn. It should be illegal for someone’s wanted picture to be that attractive (and I say that as an asexual).
16:00 - “You need a minute?” I love LOVE this interaction between JT and Dani. You can see that JT is a little unsure of how to talk to Dani because he loves her like a little sister and he knows she loves Bright. It’s adorable. <3 Big brother JT is my favourite JT. 
16:17 - “I like the guy.” UGH. I’m going to go sob in the corner. <3 <3 This line is AMAZING for two (2) reasons. 1) JT is admitting that he likes Malcolm. The bromance is real and I’m here for it. 2) This is JT subtly telling Dani that he knows she likes Bright as more than a friend and it’s not a bad thing. Malcolm isn’t a bad person and he can understand why she’s attracted to the annoying little dude. <3 
16:35 - Why is Ainsley working with Dani and JT? Does she actually want to find them? I still think she’s somehow involved in this. 
16:48 - “Did you steal this truck?!?” Good boy Malcolm. Don’t trust him. 
17:05 - Martin’s biggest mistake: he underestimated how devoted Malcolm is to his ‘mission’. He wasn’t able to manipulate and subdue Malcolm as quickly as he would’ve liked and now his plan is unravelling because Malcolm is snapping out of his ‘Martin might be good’ trance. 
17:19 - “I’m calling Gil. I should’ve known.” <3 I have no words. Just joy.
17:45 - “I do not want my son getting killed because of it.” LIES. Martin tried to kill Malcolm because of it when Malcolm was 10 years old. Martin didn’t care when Malcolm was bullied, shunned, and literally locked in a closet because of Martin. Martin didn’t care that the weight of his crimes destroyed his son’s childhood and continued mental health. Martin. Doesn’t. Care. The problem? Malcolm so so desperately wants to believe that Martin cares about him. You can convince yourself of almost anything if you want to badly enough. 
18:13 - Annnnnd Martin’s plan is back on. He’s lied his way back into Malcolm’s tentative good graces and the manipulation is still in full force. 
18:18 - The parallel that Martin is going on a stakeout with Malcolm right now and the fact that Gil used to take Malcolm on stakeouts as a kid is overwhelming. Do you think Martin knew about those stakeouts? Is this Martin’s way of trying to prove to Malcolm that he’s a better father than Gil?
18:33 - I DO NOT LIKE THIS. I DO NOT LIKE THIS. I DO NOT LIKE THIS. Capshaw is crazy and I don’t like her alone with my queen Jessica. #stressed
18:37 - “Believe me, I understand.” Ugh. Someone (preferably Gil) hug Jessica. This woman has been repressing her emotions for too long. :( 
18:56 - Ooooooooohhhhhh Capshaw just made the biggest mistake of her life. This woman is actively trying to convince the world that Malcolm is just like Martin Whitly and then she said as much to his mother’s FACE. I’m here for the lady fight. Say what you want, but vicious girl fights are so much more entertaining than dudes who just hit each other. 
19:29 - Bitch. Jessica regularly mixes pills with alcohol. Research your victim, moron. This isn’t going to work. 
19:56 - “You. Always you.” .....isn’t that what Malcolm said to Eve? Ew. ALSO the way Martin dismisses Malcolm’s admittance is very upsetting. If he wanted to prove that he’s a good father he should really pretend to care. At least a little. 
20:25 - As far as Martin is concerned, this is a victory. His son trusts him enough to let him out of the car - unsupervised. Martin’s plan is working (as far as Martin knows anyways. Malcolm is still definitely conflicted).
20:43 - I love that Malcolm keeps calling for “Martin”. Not “Dad”. Not “Dr. Whitly” (that would be bad on account of the manhunt). Just “Martin”. This goes back to Malcolm not knowing who “Martin” is to him He’s still trying to figure it out. Hell, he only resorts to calling him “Clare” when he thinks it’s the only way Martin will get back in the truck. 
21:15 - “What the hell is he doing?” EXCELLENT question. Seriously - did this moron not recognize the Surgeon and his son? There’s a literal manhunt for these two right now. It’s all over the news. It was playing on the precinct TV only a few hours ago. WHY DID CRUTCHFIELD NOT CALL ANYONE ABOUT THEIR IDENTITIES?!? Isn’t it protocol to call the NYPD about this or a hotline? I’m sure it said as much on the wanted flyers and the news.
22:05 - I’m honestly so stressed that Jessica is tipsy and drugged right now. 
22:35 - “Back then I wasn’t a good judge of character. Now I can sniff them out a mile away.” UGH. This honestly gives me PTSD. My mom says the same thing. She married an abusive man and now she claims she’s self-aware and is an excellent judge of character (spoiler alert: she’s not). My mom is about as good at it as Jessica. I mean, anyone remember Endicott? Or Eve? 
23:06 - “What was that Jessie?” OMG. I hate Capshaw more with each passing moment. 
23:16. - GIL. OH THANK GOD. JESSICA IS GOING TO BE OKAY. EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY. JESSICA DIDN’T GO LONE RANGER ON THIS. 
23:34 - Is that a picture of baby Malcolm on the mantle? <3 So cute. <3
24:10 - This bitch is going to jail for a looooonnnng time. Gil Arroyo and Jessica Whitly just heard her admit to torturing their son. She’s going to suffer. I’m happy about it.
24:28 - “Daddy. Daddy.” My heart is breaking. This is a real insecurity that Jessica has about Malcolm. She feels like she’s not enough for Malcolm. That’s why he keeps visiting Martin. That’s why Malcolm was so attached to Gil and Jackie as a kid (and now). Jessica feels inadequate as a mother. That probably contributes to how she emotionally neglects Ainsley. She’s afraid of trying and failing to be enough for both of her children. So she denies herself the possibility of failure by throwing the match. 
25:07 - Jessica and Malcolm studying Krav Maga together. Headcannon accepted. My heart swells at the thought. 
26:12 - Anyone else think it’s interesting that the picture of baby Ainsley was smashed over Jessica’s head. It just feels too convenient. It has to be some sort of hidden message. Does it mean that Ainsley’s the one who is going to destroy the family? Does it mean Ainsley’s working with Capshaw (or Martin)? It has to mean something. Right?!?
26:34 - “I meant for her sake.” I love Gil. He’s not threatened by the fact that Jessica is a badass. Hell, he thinks it hot. Weak men are intimidated by strong women. Gil’s a keeper. 
26:46 - WHUMP. <3
27:15 - This wasn’t part of Martin’s plan but I do genuinely think Martin’s not nearly as scared as he’s acting. 
27:38 - Why doesn’t JT introduce Ainsley? Because she’s not law enforcement and she’s not technically supposed to be there?
27:56 - Damn. Ainsley is desperate for attention from anyone. I bet you that’s why she became a reporter. People have to listen to you when your face is on their TV reporting the news. 
29:41 - JT is triggered. :( This is PTSD. The last time a gun was pointed at him it was extremely traumatic “I’m a father. I’m a good man and I am not a threat to you.” :( Someone hug him. 
29:57 - “But she is.” <3 DAMN. Badass!Dani for the win. <3 
30:34 - “Predatory psychopath married an emotionally compromised enabler.” Is this a comment on Jessica and Martin’s marriage? Jessica didn’t consciously enable Martin but her rich lifestyle and the things she was willing to overlook to maintain appearances definitely gave Martin more leeway than he should have had. 
30:48 - “You haven’t been in my league for decades.” Yep. Now Martin wants to kill Don. He didn’t need Malcolm to beg him to hurt Don. Martin was already chomping at the bit. 
32:00 - “NO.” Malcolm’s not his father. Even now he doesn’t want anyone to get hurt. He tries to protect everyone from physical harm. Even serial killers. That’s a good man. 
32:30 - I hated this speech from Ainsley. It felt....artificial? I just can’t see Ainsley actually believing that her Mother is light, kind, and good when she clearly resents her Mother for paying so much attention to Malcolm and neglecting her. This whole speech just felt really out of character to me. It felt like Ainsley was pulling a Malcolm - saying whatever she needed to get the suspect to confess to the truth. 
33:43 - “I can’t. Not anymore.” Bullshit. Martin clearly wants to hurt this guy. He just refuses to do it until Malcolm begs. Also, it feels like the show is trying to suggest that this is Malcolm giving into the ‘darkness’ that Ainsley was referring to. I disagree. This is typical Malcolm - consumed by the need to save a victim and solve the case. This is the guy who chopped off a guy’s hand to save his life, the guy who tried to infiltrate a cult to save Andi, the guy who tried climbed out of an elevator shaft to arrest a serial killer. Malcolm just doesn’t care about himself and his mental health isn’t doing so great. That doesn’t mean he’s becoming a killer. He’s not ‘going dark’.
34:40 - “Please. I’m asking as your son.” This wrecked me. 1) Malcolm looks so utterly destroyed here. Anguish is all over his face. You can see him grasping at straws because he’s so desperate to save Jeannie. He’s willing to compromise the idea that his Dad may have changed. Malcolm knows Martin hasn’t changed but asking him to do this will make it real and kill Malcolm’s desperate fantasy of a bio-dad who loves him. 2) Martin is a piece of shit. You can see how utterly delighted he is when Malcolm begs and refers to himself as Martin’s son. Martin views Malcolm as a possession and it delights him to hear Malcolm confirm that possession (”I’m asking as you son.”)
35:00 - Okay. His hand isn’t shaking but look at him. You can’t tell me he’s enjoying this. He looks terrified, guilty, nauseous and I don’t think it’s because he’s suddenly realizing that he and Martin are the same. I think it’s because he just compromised his moral code to save a total stranger. He somehow found it in himself to favour a Jeannie over Don. Yes - Don is a serial killer. Yes - Jeannie is his victim. So, yeah - picking Jeannie over Don is logical but does that make it right? That’s what Malcolm is struggling with. That AND the fact that he just asked his Dad to hurt someone - the screaming is probably bringing back suppressed childhood PTSD from that camping trip in the woods. 
35:13 - Another crazy theory for why Malcolm’s hand isn’t shaking. Have you ever been so so so scared/stressed/anxious that you felt nothing? Seriously - it’s like your brain just shuts down everything but life support and your body goes on autopilot. I honestly think that could be happening to Malcolm as a way to cope with the stress. 
35:20 - This is Martin pretending to be tormented and I HATE HIM FOR IT. He’s playing with our broken boy and I despise him for it. Hasn’t Malcolm suffered enough?!?!
36:04 - Something tells me that Don’s testimony will be vital to clearing Malcolm’s name next season (yes, I’m in complete denial that this show is cancelled). 
37:03 - This hurts. Martin is comforting Jeannie and it’s bringing back childhood memories for Malcolm. Memories of a Dad who used to read him bedtime stories and tuck him into bed at night. Memories that are tainted with the knowledge that Martin is a serial killer. Look at how sad Malcolm is. He’s fully accepting that Martin hasn’t changed and that he never will. He’s letting go of the desperate hope that Martin might love him the way he remembers as a child. He’s remembering that the love he experienced as a child was all a hoax on Martin’s part to begin with. 
37:07 - WHEN DID MALCOLM GET A PHONE??!?! WTF. 
37:14 - “The bad man is gone now.” Except he’s not. He’s always been here. He didn’t change. He just tried to be cleverer than his son. It failed. 
37:52 - Do you know what would have made this scene even more powerful? A flashback to the phone call baby Malcolm made to 911 in 1998. 
38:08 - NOW Martin is Dr.Whitly because Malcolm has fully accepted that Martin = The Surgeon = Dr. Whitly. They’re all the same and they all suck.
38:33 - “Maybe I need to work on that.” <3 <3 Yes, get sober sweetheart. Your dependance on alcohol and pills is not healthy. 
38:45 - This Gillica moment will live forever in my heart. I swear I’ve never shipped to people so hard while fully wanting them to be my parents. 
38:51 - OMG. Of fucking course it’s Edrisa. <3 hahahahaha
39:29 - The fact that Malcolm gave Jeannie his jacket is so cute to me. Just more proof that Malcolm’s a good guy. 
39:57 - Looks like the Claremont cardio program is lacking. (I’m so mean).
40:08 - I love this whole exchange between Martin and Malcolm. 1) I fully believe that Martin is genuinely upset that Malcolm turned him in (the dude doesn’t want to go back to prison - fair enough). 2) Malcolm just looks so broken as he listens to his father rant. You can see how bad Malcolm feels for turning his own father over to the cops. Again. The guilt is consuming Malcolm. Very bad for his flimsy mental health. 
40:22 - “You made me become him again.” Okay. Stay in your lane Martin. Let’s not victim blame here. You’re a monster. You’ve been manipulating Malcolm all day and you’re still at it. You wanted to hurt Don but you want to hurt Malcolm more. 
41:11 - “This world isn’t for you.” My heart is shattering. You can hear the pain in Malcolm’s voice. This isn’t a conversation anyone should have to have with a parents. Especially not when you’re already wracked with guilt and mental health issues that you’re not coping with.
41:20 - “Dad. Listen to me. I’m trying to save you.” THIS. THIS is the show. For two years we’ve watched Malcolm try to empathize and understand killers because he’s desperate to save his father and alleviate his guilt for turning Martin in. 
42:00 - “I was a good father. But you, you were never a good son.” ...............this is bad. Shit. This. Is. Bad. This is going to torment Malcolm for the rest of his life. He is going to constantly question “should I have been nicer to Ainsley? Should I have been more obedient? Should I have shown more of an interest in medicine? Would that have stopped that from killing? Did he kill because I wasn’t a good enough son?” Logically Malcolm will know none of that is true but it won’t matter because pain isn’t always logical. 
42:26 - 1) Damn. This family is stabby. 2) holy shit holy shit holy shit. 3) I’m shook. I fully expected it but I’m still shook. It was self defence but that won’t matter. Sure, there’s a 90% chance that Malcolm won’t suffer legally for this but there’s a 100% chance this is going to ruin Malcolm’s life. The guilt is going to swallow him whole. His mental health is going. to reach an all time low. The media will crucify him. No one will look at him the same. He won’t be able to go anywhere without people making assumptions about him. He’s going to be transported back to 1998 - this time with more trauma. It’s not going to be good (and I’m ecstatic at the thought of it because I’m an emotional whump whore). 
42:40 - His hand’s not shaking. I honestly think it’s because he’s in shock because Malcolm still looks like hell. He’s dissociating. If this triggers a mute!Malcolm episode I’m going to be the most excited person in the world. 
42:46 - “I was right. We’re the same.” This was Martin’s master plan. He knew once he escaped Claremont there was no going back. He didn’t want to go back to prison so he found a way to get himself killed (I’m assuming this kills Martin because that’s a lot of blood). No only did he plan to either 1) be on the run forever or 2) die trying  - he made sure that he could torment Malcolm as much as possible along the way. This sentence is going to destroy Malcolm. That sentence has been his greatest fear for 23 years. Now he thinks it’s true. It doesn’t matter that he stabbed out of self-defence. Fear isn’t logical. This is a big problem. 
43:12 - “Bright? What did you do?!?” ..................It’s been 3 days and I still can’t handle this sentence. You can see the shock on Dani’s face and the fear in Malcolm’s eyes. He looks like a cornered animal. He thinks she’s going to arrest him - he knows she has to. He thinks he just ruined his chances at a happy ending with Dani. He’s realizing all at once just how bad his life is about to get. AND DANI - she doesn’t believe he’s a killer but that doesn’t mean she’s not scared for him. The dude looks like he’s in the middle of a mental breakdown plus the legal issues - it’s not going to be a good day. 
I CAN’T BELIEVE THE SEASON ENDED LIKE THIS. I HATE IT. I LOVE IT. I’M CONFLICTED. I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS. I WANT CLOSURE AND THIS JUST GAVE ME MORE QUESTIONS. UGH. THANK GOD FOR AO3. 
I sincerely hope another network picks us up for a third season - I’ll be back if they do. If not - thanks for hanging out with me. I’ve had fun and this show will always have home in my heart. 
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lovelyirony · 4 years
Note
162. “They told me you died. And I screamed. I screamed until my lungs hurt too much to continue.” Pepperony? ty!!
When Pepper was twelve, her aunt introduced her into the world of romance books, movies, and television shows. Pepper generally liked them, although some of the historical-fiction-romance books were a bit too corny for her taste. 
Throughout all of these, there is one message that has been repeated: You Will Do Anything for Love. 
She thinks it’s...well. It’s not something that necessarily makes sense to her. Like sure, she would go to the grocery store at eleven at night to get ice cream for her partner, or she would help them with a project. 
But dying, sacrificing yourself? She can’t imagine that. She can’t imagine doing whatever you have to for love. 
Until Tony. 
A lot of people are under the impression that Pepper is “dealing” with Tony. That she has these long-suffering sighs, that Tony is a man-child who can only handle so much and she handles the majority. 
That is far from the truth, although he still doesn’t know his own social security number and forgets dates of things. 
But Tony is fun and he surprises her, and he’s so soft when he wants to be. He knows when she needs to have some sort of snappy commentary, when she just needs him to sign things and pour some nice wine for a night in. 
Iron Man is something that she’s afraid about. Because maybe she’s being selfish, but she hates how much Tony goes out and fights the good fights. She wants him to come home and not wince when she kisses the bridge of his nose, not grimace as he puts weight on a leg that got hit pretty badly. 
And being inside of a suit of armor doesn’t mean he’s safe. He doesn’t have super healing, he doesn’t have any of the advantage of the others. He’s human, and that’s all he is sometimes. It terrifies the shit out of her. 
-
It was supposed to be a routine mission. One he’s flown a thousand times, one that he always complains about as a “waste of time, honey, honestly. I would much rather be sleeping in with you-” 
He’s lost, they say. Pepper wants to deny it, because how could you lose someone like him? 
But people have been asking that question for centuries about those they love. And she knows that you can lose anyone to anything, and you have to deal with it. 
It’s not quiet, at least not in the house. 
She screams and cries and barely eats anything until Jarvis has to remind her to eat anything, just something that will her up even halfway. 
Her voice is hoarse. She can barely use it and she hates the world for still turning, but it does. 
That’s a comfort to some people. That life still continues on, that people have continued on. But it is not a comfort to her, it is bitter. To see people find new love all the time, to have friends over, to still be living. 
It’s a curse, she thinks. 
She doesn’t come into the office for two months. She doesn’t have to, and most everyone is too scared of her to tell her to do anything. 
No one’s sure exactly how Stark Industries will do without Tony. God knows they’ve planned for it. Pepper had, ever since she discovered the suit of armor and Tony’s been planning since before that. 
He had told her once when they were both getting drunk on a patio on a late summer evening, and he told her that he wasn’t sure that he should have kids. 
“I’m the world’s biggest fuck-up,” he had said, laughing at himself. “Why would I subject anyone to another generation of that?” 
That was before they were together, and it was when Pepper was dating someone else who was very...safe. 
Pepper’s learned since then that she’ll never like safe. She tried to convince herself of that, but she can’t. Not since she loves Tony as much as she does, not since she can’t look away from the news. 
Three months in. 
Three months in, and Pepper gets an ad. 
This isn’t necessarily suspicious. 
But the thing is, it’s one of Tony’s funny little things that he does; he makes little ads for her throughout the day so that her day doesn’t suck as bad. Usually it’s for outlandish tourist traps that they’ve never visited. 
This time, it’s for the largest ball of twine, somewhere in Kansas. 
Come unravel the truth for yourself! the ad blinks, flashing furiously fast for something that was made so recent. 
She would expect that ad in the early days of the internet, when everything was flashy and people thought that was the only way to grab your attention. 
The phrasing is...odd. Why would you go there to “verify” it for yourself if it was already something they thought? 
And why for somewhere so far away? 
She doesn’t want to be one of those desperate, sobbing partners who refuse to admit the truth, search frantically for something that might not be there, is literally almost guaranteed to not be there. 
But fuck it. What else does she have to lose? Her sanity? That’s not exactly something she’d miss. 
She starts by having Jarvis look through her entire computer. 
He finds one anomaly. An anomaly that shouldn’t be there, because Tony is the one who everything-proofed her computer, and he’s the only one who should be able to send the questionably-sourced advertisements. 
Jarvis picks up a very faint signal. 
Pepper finds out that she gets her own suit. 
She scolds herself inside her own head as she feels a thrill race up her spine. 
She’s bringing him back, her heart sings. 
The problem is that she hasn’t told anyone. She doesn’t want anyone to know, doesn’t want anyone to see him if he’s...gone. 
So she touches down at an abandoned warehouse and her heart thrums, and then she’s surrounded. 
“You know, I was told that he had new tech,” the man says, sneering. “I just wasn’t aware it came with such a pretty woman attached.” 
“It also comes with three different bullet varieties to test out,” Pepper says sweetly, the darts coming out of the shoulders. “Would you like to test out how well they cut through you?” 
“Oh, we’re about to have fun.” 
It’s not as much fun as this guy predicts. He’s an old colleague of SI, as it turns out. Got fired about five years before Pepper got hired for some “misconduct” that was quickly swept under about a million other press releases. 
He’s very good at underestimation. 
Pepper is blasting through any attack he might have had, and the system in place for the armor--Friday--is adapting quite well, considering the circumstances. 
Fighting still takes a considerably long time, however. She’s starting to get frustrating, and then she gets asked a question: 
“You currently have lasers at your disposal, Miss Potts. It would help the situation, although it can be a mess. Would you like to use it?” 
“...how bad of a mess?” 
“I can aim for nonlethal areas.” 
“Shoot for the stars, Fry.” 
“As you wish, Madam.” 
There is lots of screaming. She wishes there wasn’t. She wishes she could be a better person, but she can’t. Not when Tony is so, so close and not when she loves him as hard as she does. 
He’s tied up, thin, and more bruised than he’s been since...since he came back from the desert. 
But he looks at her, and she knows that they’ll make it out. 
“Did you...you got the ad, right?” 
“I got the ad.” 
“Good. I wasn’t sure...” 
“Sh,” she says, putting her hand to his face. “We got it. We got it. Did they take your armor?” 
He thinks for a moment, and she feels terrible. But she knows how much it would help him, how much he cares for his creations. 
“In the briefcase. It needs a secondary DNA signature if I hit distress.” 
“Is Rhodey the secondary?” Pepper asks, panic rising in her voice, because she wants to get out of here, get to a safe place, fall together again. 
“No. You.” 
She visibly sighs in relief, and smiles. 
“I love you.” 
“The only piece of knowledge that got me through,” Tony says. “That, and the promise of pizza when we get back.” 
Pepper rolls her eyes affectionately. 
“We’ll debate when we reach home. Where’s the briefcase?” 
“Two rooms over, on the left. I think.” 
The other people who are left in the building don’t put up a fight. They’re all untrained in combat, and one comment from Tony leaves them well-aware: 
“This is my partner. She’s pissed. Do with that information what you will.” 
-
His suit goes on, and Pepper can see stress bleed away from his body. 
“Go home,” she whispers, pressing a kiss to his helmet. “I’ll meet you there.” 
“I’m sorry if you didn’t want the suit,” Tony says. “I’m really, really sorry. But I figured it could make you safe, I didn’t want...I didn’t want you to ever have to use it.” 
“You know me better than that,” Pepper says. “And I...I don’t mind this, honestly.” 
“You don’t?” Tony asks, confused. “But the whole getting-rid-of-the-suits-on-Christmas?” 
“...I’ll make it up to you.” 
Tony smiles, and she’s missed that. 
The flight home is much better. She can enjoy some of it, and Friday even puts on a bit of music for the trip home. 
Tony is already lying down, and people know the news. She lets the team run through, getting confirmation. So long as Tony allows it, so does she, although she does take a bit of liberty and cut off public visiting hours at nine p.m. 
He’s exhausted, already asleep. 
Pepper still sits, still looks at him with all the stars and promises that can be held by one earth in her eyes. 
"I’m happy you’re here,” she says. “Because I would’ve ended the earth to get you back again.” 
114 notes · View notes
lolabangtan · 4 years
Text
read at 4 AM | ksj
When you received a voice mail from your boss, you didn’t expect him to tell you how good had it been dreaming about you tying him down and fucking him senseless. What kind of face could you use to look at him the next morning, knowing he hasn’t realized he texted the wrong person?
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Word count: 2.8k
Warnings: nothing really just shy jinnie
# sub!Seokjin, CEO!Jin, spanking, embarrassing situations, semi-public sex, rope bunny!Jin, face riding, verbal humiliation, kinda choking kink?, power play, dom!reader
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You couldn’t sleep that night, for some reason. Something was bugging you, as if you were expectant. You were laying on your bed, checking your cell phone, scrolling through recent messages, when suddenly a voice mail popped up in your screen.
Mr. Kim, your boss, rarely texted you. He was a sweetheart, but also really shy and gentle. You often thought Seokjin never talked to you more than the necessary because he disliked you, but something in his behavior, in his manners whenever you two were close, told you that he was actually pretty shy.
But it was 4 am, why had he sent you a voice mail? You played the audio, unable to contain your curiosity, and listened carefully:
“Namjoon, I know it’s late as fuck, but… Dude I just had a dream, about Y/N, fucking me in my office. Like… I know you probably don’t wanna hear ‘bout it… The thing is, it was so fucking hot, like Namjoon, I never thought a woman could do that kind of things. She was… y’know, s-spaking me and she had tied me up, she was treating me like her fuck toy, and it felt so good? But how am I gonna look at her tomorrow? We have a meeting and it’s hard enough for me to talk to her on a daily basis…”
When the sound ended, you didn’t know what to say, or what to think. Seokjin had had a dream about you fucking him senseless? That was hot as fuck. Would he be touching himself, moaning your name and whining like a little baby? Gosh, if he was, you wanted to tell him not to touch himself without permission so hard. Then you thought about answering him, but that would just make him even more shy and reluctant, so maybe you had to take advantage of this new information. After saving the message, you went back to sleep, with a bug of excitement flying around your head.
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“Y/N, did you send me the invoice of the last DinNIM brand purchase?”
The chief officer of the Marketing department, Kim Namjoon, was another sweetheart and probably the person Seokjin’s voice mail was meant for.
“I did it yesterday. And Min Yoongi came this morning to talk to Mr. Kim,” you answered. “He said something about the Human Resources department, do you know anything?”
“Ah, kind of. I think Seokjin wants to make a new recruitment, you should talk to him.”
Watching him cocking his eyebrows, you sighed and remembered your boss’ voice mail.  Something warm made your spin shiver. You got up, your expression firm and confident, and gave Jimin a smirk.
“Yeah, that’s a good idea. I should be told these things as the CHRO, what a bad boy...”
You went straight to Seokjin’s office and opened the door, but the room was empty, so you sat on his chair and waited.
“Thank you, Mrs. Choi, I’ll tell you later.”
The man closed the door behind him before seeing you sitting in his chair. You looked so gorgeous, with than short pencil skirt around your thighs, and that white blouse that sculpted your chest so painfully well.
“Miss Y/L/N, what are you doing… here?” Seokjin murmured, eyes glued to your body.
“I wanted to talk to you before today’s meeting,” you said, “You should talk to me about this kind of things before telling someone else, you know?”
“W-what do you mean?”
Oh boy, his voice sounded so panicked.
“I’m talking about the HR project. Mr. Min is not the chief officer, I am… Mr. Kim.”
“I-it’s just that I didn’t want to bother you, you are busy enough with the DinNIM purchase,” he said back, nervous.
You giggled flirty, eyeing him with your best seducing abilities, and crossed your legs so he could see a hint of your inner thighs. He always looked so good, so goofy but sweet at the same time, Seokjin was the kind of guy you loved to wreck. With confident steps, you approached the blinds that hid them from the rest of the office and pulled, finally getting some privacy.
“I like your tie,” you said, “This color matches your skin tone.”
Seokjin took a deep breath. His body was shaking in excitement, unable to forget the vivid dream he had had last night. A quick glance to your cleavage and the man wasn’t able to hide his growing arousal anymore.
“Was it on the floor or over your desk?” you asked suddenly.
“E-excuse me?”
His nervousness made you smirk again.
“When I fucked you, in your dream,” you continued, “Where did it happen?”
You did not give him time to react: with hungry hands, you hurried and kissed him deeply, being quickly corresponded. Lips against his neck and hands loosening his tie, you could feel his breath getting heavier.
“How d-do you know…?” Seokjin tried to ask.
“You should be more careful with whom you send your messages, dirty boy.”
The man hurried to check his phone, but you got ahead of him and played the voice mail. “I never thought a woman could do that kind of things. She was… y’know, s-spaking me and she had tied me up, she was treating me like her fuck toy, and it felt so fucking good?” Seokjin kept staring at you, wondering and shivering.
“The desk,” he whispered.
You turned him over and pushed him to the wooden surface, checking him out with hungry eyes. Your fingers felt avid, you wanted to do all the things he had dreamed about.
“Do you wanna be my fuck toy?”
“Yes,” Jin said, “Yes, please.”
After locking the door, you moved back to him and got his blue silk tie. It was smooth, a perfect match for his golden skin.
“This,” you said, pointing at his jacket, “Off.”
When Seokjin obliged eagerly, he waited for your next command with his sweaty chest going up and down heavily. With expert fingers, you unbuttoned his shirt, making sure that he felt your nails over his skin. Then you sat on his chair right in front of him and crossed your legs.
“Did you touch yourself after having that dirty dream, Jinnie?” He shook his head, shivering at the way your lips purred that nickname, “Did you want to?”
“Y-yes...”
You bit your lip, eyes going down his naked chest and bulge.
“Why didn’t you, then? It’s not that I would knew about it,” you insisted.
“Because you… wouldn’t have liked it,” he replied, “I don’t want to annoy you.”
You patted his head and smiled, and Seokjin leaned onto your hand.
“You’re such a sweetheart, Jin, such a good boy for me. You can touch yourself now,” you told him, a kind smile on your lips when you lowered his fly.
You were already wet before he started jerking off, all that foreplay was getting hot as fuck, but the moment Seokjin began teasing his wet tip the way he probably pictured you doing it in his dream, your core became a fucking waterfall. The man was so turned on that you could see perfectly the moment he was about to come, so you just watched him cum over his belly with a wrecked smile.
“Did I say you could come, Jinnie?”
Gosh, Seokjin loved that nickname so much.
“N-no… Sorry, I-I couldn’t help it...” the man whispered with puppy eyes.
“Sit on my lap.”
Then again, he obliged almost immediately. When his chest got over your left thigh, you could feel his dick, angry red, hardening again.
“You’re so nasty, Jin, cumming when you weren’t supposed to. Did you want to enjoy the closest contact I will ever have with that dirty, small cock of yours?” Before Seokjin replied, you spanked him in the ass, shutting him up, “Coming all over yourself like a slut. Did you like it, jerking off in your office, where everyone could hear you? Does that turn you on, Jinnie?”
With every slap, Seokjin found it harder to swallow his moans and grunts. Was he dreaming again? No, the feeling of your hand on his ass was too real to be a dream, his dick growing harder and harder against your thigh was too real to be a dream.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, please,” he moaned, tears starting to form in his eyes.
“Please, what? I can’t let your hands free, you’re such a dirty boy you would touch yourself again, Jinnie…”
You lowered your other hand through the gap between your stomach and his back and found his cock. Using the precum to lube it, Seokjin moved his hips forward, seeking more contact, so you spanked him again.
“Behave yourself.”
“I’m sorry,” he moaned, loudly, “I’m so sorry, please, don’t stop!”
“Everybody outside the office is gonna hear you, bad boy.”
Seokjin shook his head once again, trying not to move his hips forward, ignoring his growing seek of friction.
“I’m a good boy, your good boy,” the man whispered.
You kissed his cheek.
“Yes you are, you’re doing so great...” you said, moving your hand up and down on his dick.
“C-can I…” he murmured, shyly, “Can I eat you out? Pretty please?”
His words made you remember the fact that you were so fucking wet, that your core sought for friction too. And god, the way he looked at you, how could you tell him he couldn't? Those puppy eyes, desperate to eat your pussy.
“I think you’ve earned it.”
His face suddenly got brighter and Seokjin got on his knees real quick, eager with his tongue already out. You decided to put on a little show for your good boy and unbuttoned your blouse, slowly enough to let him enjoy your smooth skin appearing in front of him.
“Have you ever wanted to fuck me, Jinnie?” you asked casually.
His throat sounded dry.
“Y-yes.”
“Hands back, and don’t move.” You approached him from behind and finally tied his hands.
Poor Seokjin was shaking and sweating, his mind probably going from one thought to other. By the time you were finished, the man’s cock had already become angry red. After one last glance, he had opened his pretty mouth in a silent petition for having you sitting on him, and how could you not oblige.
His tongue, if not meticulous, was wet and welcoming. Seokjin, actually, had never eaten out a girl until her orgasm. He tried a few times, but apparently he wasn’t good enough, because the person he’d be with would only shake their thighs and tell him to stop.
“S-slow down a bit, Jinnie,” you told him, finding it a bit hard to talk, “Play some more with the labia before going to the clit.”
The man did something similar to nodding and licked your entrance eagerly, like a starved man, making you sigh. When a barely decent amount of time passed, you lost your patience and grabbed his hair to make him lick your clit, to which he obliged almost immediately. Then you tightened your thighs around his head, Jin’s tongue hitting on the exact places, until you came.
You heard him choking and moaning, happily on his knees with his mouth covered with your juices and his hands tied behind his back.
“Who’d say that one day you’d get fucked in your own office,” you murmured, fingers playing with his hair, “You sounded so shy in your voice mail, you didn’t even finished telling me about it. What else did I do to you?”
Seokjin took a deep breath, not having had his normal breathing back.
“You r-rode me...”
“Hmmm… So that’s what I did...” you purred, “And you want me to ride you, right?”
“Y-yes!”
Seokjin sounded so enthusiastic about it that you couldn't help that little giggle that escaped your lips. Your fingertips caressed his naked shoulders, skin glowy and sweaty, and you pointed at his desk. He lied down and struggled finding a comfortable position for his tied arms, but when he did, you didn’t hesitate and unbuckled his belt. Then you showed him a plastic package.
“Look at this big boy here, Jinnie, I’m gonna have so much fun with you...”
When the condom was already on him, the man couldn't stop staring as you got rid of your bra. With a longing sigh, you also lowered your pencil skirt along with your underwear and jumped on him.
“P-please, Y/N, I need you so much,” Seokjin groaned.
You decided to take pity on him and lowered your hips, feeling a nice, warm thing inside you as Seokjin’s cock got deeper. He wasn’t actually that big, but shy guys like Jinnie needed a bit of encouragement.
“Oh, f-fuck! You’re so tight,” he whined.
“You feel just right, Jinnie...”
You started moving your hips and thighs, really enjoying how he felt inside you, riding him had started to be intoxicating, as if you could never have enough of the friction. Seokjin arched his back out of pleasure, he had been feeling at the edge for the entire morning and now he was fighting against coming like a teen virgin.
“I don’t know if I w-will… last long enough,” he said, “I want to cum, please, please...”
His broken voice made you smile. Caressing his broad shoulders, your hand touched the skin of his neck and put a light pressure on his throat.
“Mhmm, Jinnie, how can you feel this good?” you moaned, closing your eyes.
“Please, Y/N, I can’t… Please!”
Your hips started moving faster, they were burning and the friction between your skin and his was also overwhelming, but you couldn't stop, his cock felt so, so good. You sank your fingernails on his chest to prevent yourself from falling off of him, but that made Seokjin moan and his dick twitched inside you.
“Look, Jinnie, there’s only a few minutes until the meeting starts,” you purred, “Do you think you can make me cum on that pretty cock of yours?”
You were close, so fucking close, it wouldn’t take you long to get your orgasm, but you wanted to see Jin nervous, afraid of not being able to make you cum on his dick. Somehow he managed to raise his hips and get even deeper, and Jin tried to get rid of the tie around his wrists.
“I want to touch you, please,” he whined.
“Wait a bit longer Jinnie, I’m so close...”
You bent over to kiss him, a wet, deep contact. Both your bodies felt hot and sweaty, and you wished your coworkers couldn't actually hear you or you’d be in trouble. Seokjin tried to get closer, craving for your touch, and you took pity on him and kissed his neck. Feeling the knot in your stomach getting tighter, you fastened the moves of your hips and thighs.
“God Jinnie, I’m coming,” you whispered breathless, “Be a good boy and cum for me, Jinnie, will you?”
When your walls tightened around him, Jin had to swallow a huge moan as something cold burned his legs, but it also felt like warm water, shiver chills and the best orgasm of his life. With your mouth against his, Jin made you the only witness of his whines and gasps as you rode him with your last remnants of energy.
“Fuck,” Seokjin said, heavy breathing and a rush of spit under his full lips.
“You’re such a good boy, Jinnie,” you purred, petting his head, not wanting to get off of him yet. “My pretty, good boy.”
He leaned into your touch, leaving floppy kisses on your neck and chest, but then your phone alarm started ringing with a colorful ‘MEETING’ in the screen. When you got up to reach your blouse, Jin smiled in one of his attempts to look cool:
“There’s still one thing you have to take care of.”
Grinning, you approached him and caressed the tip of his dick with your thumb, making him gasp and raise his hips. The over-stimulation was delicious, indeed, but then he shook his hands before you and you realized you hadn’t untied him yet.
“But don’t stop,” Jin whined again.
As soon as he was free, the young man caressed his sore butt cheeks with a masochist, content feeling, and turned around to look at you buttoning your blouse and skirt. It felt real, but also like a dream, so strange.
“Let’s go to the meeting,” you said before leaving the room, but waited for him at the entrance after seeing he wasn’t following you, “C’mon Jinnie, sadly we can’t stay here the whole morning, we must go to the meeting, Be a good boy.”
“I’m your pretty boy, I deserve a reward after this,” Seokjin pouted.
“Yeah but put on your pants first.”
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iamtheempress · 3 years
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She nursed a nice bruise on her face in the bathroom, one that bloomed from her cheek to the top of her brow, extending a green fingertip to her cheek to heal it slowly, hopefully bringing back some natural skin tone to her cheek again.
 A normal practice for treating her wounds all her life, all while keeping herself awake and conscious with an energy drink that was half empty and the ever present feeling of anticipation. The source of anticipation lingering on that phone beside her, a burner phone she bought at the beginning of the day.
Chiaki's eyes flickered to her burner phone right next to her, waiting for a reply from a face shed only met during a fight earlier that morning with her father. 
Heroes against Villains, that old fight that will seemingly never ever cease, she cant remember why the incident happened but she just knew that she and her father were first responders along with a handful of other heroes.
 She inspects the faded mark on her face and closes the door to the bathroom, quietly as to not wake her mother who had tried to quell her worried eldest daughter, Aoi had retired to bed about an hour ago… the media had picked up on the travesty of a fight that happened earlier that day. Causing a nasty uproar from civilians and the media alike.
It was everywhere, newspapers, radio stations, the internet and she can hear the newscaster announce it clearly. "Pro Hero Witch is in the Literal Hot Seat today, is she someone we need to keep an eye on? Her power was in full effect keeping a fifteen-story building from crushing her and her battered teammate, FullCharge. Who had beaten the negligent heroin enough to make her heal him, after she did this the building she was supporting fell upon her and 5 other civilian lives, after letting the villain come to know as Dabi escape-'' she turned off the tv sick and tired of hearing of how useless she’s been, the ensuing argument she had with her family left scars on her psyche she wouldn't bat an eyelash at, she couldn't care about her reputation when she let people die on her watch. 
Useless. Lazy. A joke. 
She let those 5 civilians die so callously, she didn't know them and yet she doesn't feel as bad, atleast not right now. Casualties are a norm for heros, right?
The icing on the cake was to hear the media call her that word negatively again. 
Witch… 
A name she used to take her power back from a horrible nickname in her childhood. Now once again weighing on her like chains to the floor.
 She walked to bed holding the phone and lamenting, falling to her bed with a resounding flop.. It's her fault.. she let Dabi go, and everyone saw it.
 She let everyone down and even had her phone blown up by her friends. She turned her attention to the group chat and took a peek from behind the iron curtain of guilt. Bakugou's name was the first to catch her eye.
Bakugou: Chili. Hey dumbass answer us! We have been trying to call you all day and you leave us on read. Answer us goddammit! We don't want to confront you ourselves and see what your deal is but we will if you don't answer us for the rest of the night.
Midoriya: We will give you another 30 and we're coming over, we promise we're not going to gang up on you, Chili…That wouldn't be right. 
Chiaki: How can i trust that, you all saw my situation, no one did a damn thing to help me, i get im also the healer but that includes people defending me in order to heal at a distance or else I HAVE THE TARGET on me. I cant face any of you. 
Bakugou, Izuku, Shouto and more are typing…
She wept rubbing her eyes with her sleeve and making her tear up. Out of everyone… she assumed someone would understand but they all seemed to give her the same look, it made her heart stop. Once again she's the bad guy in a situation she lost control over. With guilt in her heart, she recalled the last moments before he got away. 
Dabi got her father off of her. No hesitation, blasted him clean off of her with enough force it could have singed her head to toe, but he didn’t. She went to get up and saw her father immolated in blue flames as she turned to see the same man she was sent to apprehend was standing fixed about 10 feet from her, his eyes trained solid on her. She looks up at the buildinh started to grown from the integrity being lost from the fight, it began to collapse down on them until she suspended it above the both of them, mere feet from his head; they stared at one another like deer in headlights. A sinister smirk spread across his features before disappearing from her view, in the kick up of dirt and rubble, 
Chiaki couldn’t bring herself to apprehend him. 
Why..? Did he see the desperation in her eyes or the fact that she barely had a leg to stand on when her own father took her down a size, when he saw insubordination over saving herself and not her father who was completely fine? Or was there another ulterior motive to keeping her alive?
Upon trying to close her eyes, and hopefully forget about this whole day.  
The burner phone buzzed to life. 
The screen could have been the brightest thing in the room, a beacon in the night beckoning her. Distant thunder rumbled to indicate the dire decision she's made, as well as a storm that was approaching.
 Her heart stopped, she lifted the phone slightly and slid her thumb over the screen. To see the text message from an unavailable number. 
“How is that eye feeling, Witch?” 
The text read, her fingers flew across the keyboard. 
“It’s been better, I fixed it up. Is this really Dabi?” upon sending the message the text came up as read. Is she really thinking of doing this… he messaged her back quickly. “Maybe I am, I have seen the news today and that shot of you and I standing before the building collapsed on us was cinematic so I have to give you props for that. I’m guessing the reason you wanted to speak to me was not make pleasantries and talk about our days.” 
“You want to join the League.” 
There it is. The question that lain heavily upon her mind. Shed never considered it as much as she has recently. The ridicule of her graduating class, her power seen as something not all heroes should use for good. She proved time and time again how she is not something to worry about.. But here she was.. Being abused and taken advantage of by the people she cared for. 
“Yes. I do.” She sent it with no hesitation and sat up in her bed looking down upon the phone, he made quick work of messaging her back, again. 
“We havent recruited anyone worth our time in a while. From what I saw recently as well as today. We were considering reaching out to you..but this works much better. Meet tonight?” Her golden eyes widened and her mouth popped open out of sheer shock. “Around what time? Ill be there” She stands up, with a loud crack of lightning the rain poured outside, she cursed and saw a location pop up on her phone.
An old and run down apartment complex outside of city limits. “Now. Get going. Text me when you're close.” Chiaki sprung out of bed without a second thought. Redressing herself in simple attire, something to not be seen on the streets so easily especially at night. Black leggings, worn in combat boots her mother gave her, a large black hoodie and that burner phone.
 While tying her hair up in a bun she saw her phone, the one with her best friends messaging her… and Midoriya’s name front and center..
Izuku: “Hey, cmon, Chili. We know you’re there.. We saw what happened and we want to know if your alright…We can see you reading our messages”
Izuku: What happened with your dad wasn't right but something doesn't add up from that fight, Chili.”
Bakugou: “It makes just as little sense to me too dumbass! Why did he spare you and go for FullCharge.”
Bakugou: “You better not have done something youll regret dumbass we cant lose you!”
Kiri: “I already have Shouto were on our way to talk to you, Spooky, were not mad..”
Her heart stopped in her throat as she started typing to them. She could see them all stop typing in unison. 
“Theres nothing to talk about. You all have made up your mind about me..i can see it. I sound like im just a problem to all of you. Consider me gone.” Chiaki tossed her old phone to the bed and scrawled a note. 
“I loved you all.. I'm sorry I'm not who you wanted me to be.”
With one message her phone began to blow up. Without looking back, she was gone. Hopping from her window to the road below with a splash into a puddle and starting her jog, leaving the only home she's known her whole damn life, as well as leaving her hero life behind her.
About a solid 30 minutes later she noticed she saw the buildings become more and more dilapidated marked with graffiti as sirens shrieked down streets and seedy characters crept behind alleyways, the city limits were within a mile away, and so was the old apartment building. 
Impatient and eager to meet him face to face, she messaged him.. "About a block or two away." she pulled her hood up as she exited a mini markets awning that was closed, rain started to shower down upon her, her light hair hidden beneath the oversized hood, the old marquis sign coming into sight. 
The phone vibrated in her pocket, Chiaki pulled it out and the words shone bright across her face. “You better not be some spy.. I won’t be too happy. So in your best interest, i'd be 100% transparent with me.”  She texts back quickly. “I am an open book and got little to hide.”
The text was read and the old marquis was above her, “No turning back now… the guys will be looking for me in no time.” She said to herself and entered the lobby of the closed apartment building, through the heavy wooden doors. It looked like it used to be grand but now it was so in disrepair that the wallpaper was torn back from walls and holes were created from years of neglect. 
Chiaki pulled her hood back and looked around, listening to the silence of the apartment, she took a breath and emanated a glow from her hands, her fingers and thumb lit up like bright green glow sticks.
From behind a darkened figure glided his scarred palm across the tattered wall approaching her slowly, he speaks up, cutting the silence and startling her. "Ah..There you are, you certainly didn't waste your time, Witch" she gasped and whipped around to see him, Dabi. She let out a nervous laugh and took a step forward, if she were not in this situation she wouldn't hesitate to take him down but this instance she felt on equal ground to him so she felt no threat.
 "I don’t dodge opportunities, especially ones like this, I would have contacted someone sooner but I wanted a reason to do this.. And you seemed like someone I wanted to contact first hand." Dabi approaches her until he is within mere feet of Chiaki, his feet shuffling with each stride, he's easily taller than her by more than a couple inches, being 5”2’ is sometimes a hindrance.
He blows air out of his nose with a laugh. “You were in luck then.. I had my eye on you for a while and finding intel for you was far more complicated than we expected. Chiaki Nakamura is it?”  one hand stuffed into his pants pocket and the other out to gesture towards her, his scarred hand fanned out, talking with his hands was natural for him to do it seems. His cyan blue eyes raking down her front and back to her eyes. Unblinking and just as dark and spellbinding as before, all the while being intensely overwhelming in every aspect physical. Chiaki’s heart bounced in her chest to her throat. 
His head lulls to the side.
 "Thats my name..” The young pro speaks softly, Dabi noticed the apprehension in her voice,"Oh are you nervous little Witch..?"  he didn't need her scurrying off or anything so he took to sauntering slowly around her, sizing her up like a hungry shark. She didn’t speak but caught his eyes through his black hair that curtained his eyes. “Just a bit but if i were any more scared i wouldn’t be here..” He looked upon her glowing green hands, it made her mildly conscious of the fact that they were shaking.
“Then my reputation precedes me even to fresh faces like you.” He says with a hoarse chuckle, he backs up with his arms spread open, she catches a glimpse of his long scarred arms, they flopped back down to his sides, She laughs gently in turn, her eyes fixed on his face, being this close she could see the gold sheen to the staples on his mouth and under his eyes. 
“If that nervous behavior is because you’re scared and having second thoughts about this.. And want to go back to playing around as a hero, i won't hesitate to fry you where you stand, but i'm hoping you're using that common sense of yours so i don't have to.” She listens intently, unwavering and dimming her hands back down, as to not allow her quirk to radiate outside the building.. Dabi’s mouth doesn’t even move beyond a normal straight line but his eyes say everything: He doesn’t see her as a stranger.. Despite this being their first time meeting amicably.
 “rest assured i won’t hurt you, from what I have seen already we need someone with a quirk like yours around, but when it comes to me bringing you back to the bar.. They won’t allow you in unless I check you for a wire, lift your arms.” He instructs and she lifts her arms just enough for him.
 His hands starting to traverse her arms and waist make her face swell with heat, a much more embarrassing position to be in… He was thorough and rough with the patdown, his face remained the same unchanging and stoic, her eyes trained on his face and the rough scars that covered the bottom portion of his face to the part directly under his tear ducts. Besides that he doesn't look bad.. The scars only add that intense look to him, the reason why people were scared of his looks. 
“I wanted to know something..” She caught his attention with a low hum, his brow raising and his lips curling upward. “What was the deal with you getting my father off of me..why didnt you attack me.” His hands finished patting down her body and he tuts her pulling the burner phone from her pocket.
 “You see.. That moment was televised and the moments leading up were not, and if they were, they didn't televise your abuse period or the reason behind it. It was pretty tragic, I heard your father's harsh words.. even more brutal pounding id say, he blocked all of your defences, your little friends didn't come for your rescue, they stood around." She stood stock still listening to him,
"Our Pro Hero lil Witch being ‘saved’ by me when i had enough of seeing someone who is more useful then her partners let on, being beaten to a pulp, and then when things seemed to be working in your favor and the fabled heroes would have gotten me, you in turn...stopped an entire highrise building from squishing me to death.” He leans forward and drops his voice an octave, dipping into a form of seductive and joking. 
“Kinda humiliating isn’t it? Being saved by a well known villain isn't really what the public wants to see.." he shrugs and steps back looks down at his palm, his long fingers moving around trying to catch her attention like he could light a flame at any moment,  with the other hand in his pocket. "I saw someone who needed help in more ways than one.” Her eyes widened as he stuffed the phone into his pocket “I saw someone who I had my eye on for a while being beaten for not doing something as useful as aiding her teammate… and for her own safety right?” He questions as he leans back against the wall adjacent to her.
 “Yeah.. that's right.. How do you know all that? I mean like, not alot of people know that about my quirk, i cant heal at a distance and provide backup unless i have backup...” He snaps his fingers and points at her. “Exactly my point. Your dear old dad didn't take his much more volatile daughter into account and only used you as a support to him, fueling his ego and making you look bad to the rest of the world.” his demeanor was so foreign to her, he spoke so eloquently and with conviction, a sadistic and perverse form of understanding that drew her in like a super magnet.
 She stood blanched, thunderstruck by how he's describing the situation to her, It's like he's in her head reading every emotion as plain on her face. “Yes. He never took me seriously… as a hero.. No one really ever did.” Dabi's eyes softened as their eyes remained locked in a stare of...mutual understanding on his part… she knew little of his past or who he was, but the weight of not being good enough or a lost cause caused his fists to clench.. he not dare ask anything personal yet.. he has a job to do and earn her trust and read her and her situation like a book. Foreshadowing the type of person she was made to be over years of unfair treatment and situations outside of their control.
 “Getting closer.. Go on, Witch.” She swallowed air and kept spilling her guts..  “I use my quirk to even help anyone or… do something for the good of others and its never highlighted in the slightest, no job well done or whatever. No sort of fanfare or recognition, i come home and.. get judged and told I'm not as good as… as him, from him.” SHe clasps her hands together and opens them up again, Dabi’s eyes watching the little light show from her fingertips and then fade away again. The more his eyes looked to her hands the more he wanted to see the beautiful little auras again, it was then Dabi realized her quirk is easy to be triggered, or atleast constantly active. “But when… i do one thing thats out of character for a… normal pro hero… all eyes are on you..and I was treated like a...pariah” 
Dabi nods his head and his smooth voice lulled her ears “Understand now? They only want you when you're useful to them, you're treated as backup, but in the right hands you could be so much more..” Her head hung low, like she just discovered it, that despite her power and the fact shes equally as dangerous maybe even more so she's treated as lesser than everyone else. 
Dabi mentally kicked himself, making such a pretty face sulk and look dour, he couldn't just stand there and allow her to beat herself up over how others treat her. Dabi took a step forward to her and found himself raising his hand to her chin and made her look right up at him, her chin betwixt the pads of his forefinger and thumb. “Come on now… don't be so down on yourself, they might see you as only an asset and a tool to use and expand upon themselves, as nothing more then a battery that never quits, but with us, you can reach a version of yourself you have never seen before.. And we can help you with that. We will make sure you surpass your expectations'' She caught herself staring. 
Eyes glazed over in tears that threatened to fall, and with a blink they were gone. “Excuse my ignorance but… you're serious like you can do that?” She asked with trepidation and abit of excitement that she had to cage off to not seem too eager. 
“It's not a promise, Nakamura. Its a fact that is going to be a reality. Now..” He turned on his heel and gave them some distance in the lobby, he was almost shrouded in darkness. “Give me a demonstration on what you can do.” He instructs. 
Chiaki blinks and becomes blanched. A demonstration. In here? She clasps her hands together and pulls them apart that green glow emanating from her hands to her elbows, pretty gold and green eyes enveloped in pure green with irises, her hands splayed out fingers slowly dancing and expanding outward, like licks of fire.
 “Brace yourself.” She curled in her fingers to drain the energy from surrounding lights and power, making the environment for everyone else but her heavy and sluggish. Dabi had a bead of sweat roll down his face and a headache grow slowly. “And just as it was pulled away I can give it back on my own terms.” She points a manicured finger at Dabi. The headache vanishes without a trace and his energy restored , almost knocking him on his ass from the dizzying feeling of having the wind knocked into you.
 The lights and the power entirely shut down for a full block and the bulbs bust outside. She holds a ball of concentrated energy in her palm and absorbs it into her skin, a content smile spreading across her delicate features and bowing forward and standing back up straight.
 “Oh yeah, they're going to thank me for insisting you be our new recruit... Warn me before you use your quirk on me again, will you?” She snorts and cocks a brow up at him. “So.. do it again later and knock you on your ass?” Chiaki giggled, Dabi quizzically tilted his head and narrowed his eyes, as if he's breaking down her words in his head, he flipped his black hair from his face as chuckles amused.
 “I knew I liked you for a reason, sarcastic little thing. ” she blushes and covers her mouth embarrassed. “I think it would be smart if we left.. I don't know if my friends are out looking for me or not..and honestly i would rather not face them head on yet.. And i don't want you to be hurt.” Chiaki looks back at him and blushes not realizing how worried she was for his safety, "What already thinking of me? Don't get so soft on me now, Nakamura.." Dabi chuckles and his hands return to his pockets and with a half turn he nods his head in the opposite direction of her, signalling her to follow him towards the exit of the building, he stops before the door. 
"Wait..you mean those UA kids..? trust me, Nakamura.. they arent your friends.. i don't need to know what you went through today after our little scene, you know as well as i that they're already plotting against you from what you did.." his words rang true along with his velveteen voice, the tall and slender Villain seemed to know more than he let on.
Chiaki became quiet and more confident with her decision. She made this choice, and she really didn't regret a damn thing. "And that very thing you have done today, Chiaki.." he slammed his hand into the wall, anchored his hand beside her head, making her damn near jump out of her skin. Lightning cracked outside illuminating the scars that adorned his features.
  The trench coat splaying open and just a bit of his shirt collar dipping down to reveal the purple scar stretches to his chest, gold tint staples fixed secure into what skin he had left to him that remained unscarred.
 Her eyes wandered from his chest back to his brilliant blue eyes. "Made me realize that you were worth contacting. Trust me, Nakamura.. we will bring out the best in you, UA would have easily tainted your view on the world and how ‘justice’ is delivered; but it seems like you know the world for what it really is." he gave her cheek a pat and a pinch, his gaze remained on her and a sickly grin twisted on his features when he notices her eyes wandering to the purple skin and his pronounced collar dipping further down his chest.. His hand engulfed her chin, capturing it and making her look him in the eyes. 
"Yknow, staring at people in the League will getcha in trouble or hurt, Not me though.. just don't get too used to it, anyone who stares  that long at me i consider mice…but honestly i don't see you scurrying off anytime soon." He backs off when she blushes brighter and gives him a shove. 
"Ah quit! Its kinda hard to not stare if you haven't noticed, Dabi." He pulled his phone out of his pocket and started texting someone facing the heavy door, when he received a reply he put it back into his pocket, and sighed opening the heavy metal door with a creak, rain poured down into the street as he spoke up so she could hear him. "its what we ugly folk are used to i'm afraid." Chiaki merely scoffs and pulls back up the hood and opened her palm flat and above his and her head together she created a translucent green umbrella like barrier protecting them from the downpour,  "Ugly is abit of a stretch, Dabi..." she mutters and follows him into the alley where the rain continued ro shower down bouncing off the barrier, a singular street lamp illuminating the barren street leaving the only city she had ever known, Dabi replayed that phrase in his head and he momentarily closed his eyes.
 Its been years since he got compliments.. it was strange but not unwelcome. "Ohhhh little mouse, your gonna get along very well with me.. stick by my side and everyone will like you… eventually.. Your about to meet one of them anyway." As he said this casually as the street became a black and purple haze, a portal opened up and swirled as a literal exit from the city.. to wherever the hell she was going next. 
Chiaki gasped and took an apprehensive step forward.
 "Scared?" Dabi asked, with a little smirk on his lips. "Just a bit…" Dabi extended his hand for her, inviting her with him "Cmon. Trust me. Trust a burnt man with nothing to lose." He chides playfully. Chiaki accepts his invitation, his hand warm and textured with the staples.. Dabis heart skipped a beat at the contact.
 Soft and small hands engulfed by his own as he guided her through the portal, stunning blue eyes never deviating from her gold and green ones.. like they were captivated by one another.. before she knew it, she was in a completely different location. She blinked and looked around, thunderstruck almost by the environment.
A bar that reeked of booze and smoke of different varieties. "Welcome home, for now." He says in a flat tone, she pulled off her hood and looked around.
 Dabi still had his back to her and looked at his palm for a moment that felt like an eternity, the ghost of her hand remaining in his own, strange emotions bubbled up from nowhere, he shoved them back down and spoke up. 
"Everyone seems to be out by now, usually the bar is never empty. The person who summoned that portal is here...Kurogiri, which means our leader Shigaraki is here. He’ll meet you at some point..when he's not on his damn video games." he nudged her shoulder with his elbow and shook his wet hair out. Turning to look down at her, "Nice place...you guys bounce from place to place often?" She asks in what felt like a shy whisper, the resounding echo from the hall made her feel like she was shouting. 
"Haven't in a while.. hoping we won't have too again. Wont say where because it doesn't matter. Anyway, wanna come up to my room? There's an old couch up there you can crash on. Unless you want my bed, heh.. Wouldn't mind you in bed with me.” He breathily chuckles and pinches her chin starting to lead the way, “Don't get any ideas! I'm just tired.. I haven't had any sleep and its like.. Almost 2:30 in the morning.” She yawned and dragged her feet behind him.
Chiaki follows him up the stairs and down the long corridor to the last door on the left, he opened it to find a bedroom with a king sized mattress pushed to the wall and the windows covered in blackout curtains, an old couch directly under it and  a flat screen across the room as well as his own computer and cans of empty energy drinks by it, as well as an ashtray that looked like it was used normally. 
“This room is mine, go ‘head.” He invites her in, noting the tired look on her face, he found it almost innocent if it weren't for the remnants of blush still ghosted on the apples of her cheeks.
Dabi had booted the door closed behind him as she kicked off her boots, he spoke up again, watching her movements, as they seemed to have gotten lazier. “Not much of an interior decorator but it works for me, sprucing the room up would be too much effort.” 
Making himself comfortable he sheds the trench coat and shuffles through a cabinet in the desk where his computer is located,”I'm getting pretty tired and by the looks of it you are too, so im afraid im gonna have to restrain you. Cmere.” He says, pulling out a pair of handcuffs that catches Chiaki’s attention, her brow instantly rising in confusion and a hint of worry. Dabis eyes flicker up to her when she whips around at the chain jingling as he approaches her, twirling the cuffs around his finger 
 “W-wait why do you need to restrain me?” She asks a little wary, “Its so you dont pull anything while I'm sleeping… can't be too careful, little mouse.” He states clasping the cuffs around her wrists in the front, they clicked almost to the point where he could get two fingers under them. Chiaki looked at him with big innocent eyes and then down to the cuffs on her wrists. “Tsk..you do this to all the new recruits or am i just that special.” He chuckles and turns his back to her. “You’re a first, to both be cuffed and able to sleep in my bed. Consider yourself ‘special’”
She looks back up to find Dabi stripping his white shirt off and tossing it to the couch, a blush forming on her face and a pang in her heart as she looks at him closely, hes much better looking up close… fit and lean, along with the added look of his scars that dressed his torso into his pants only made him 2 times more appealing and more her type. “Holy shit..” She says out loud with her jaw slacked abit. “Checking me out, little mouse? Remember what I said about staring.” He chuckled and laid back in bed exhausted, pulling the sheets up her body comfortably. “Sorry was just admiring the view, Dabi.” She teased rolling her eyes and settling into bed, Dabi’s eyes widened briefly and felt that sweet warm feeling creeping up his chest again, this time he let it simmer there.
“im going to sleep.. Too tired to think, that energy drink i had acouple hours ago finally wore off." Chiaki yawned and stretched, facing away from him to ease the situation, that situation being she wanted to face him and find comfort from him. 
A sort of comfort she longed for for years, acceptance and safety.. Funny she found safety with a villain.. With villains alike. This caused her to giggle to herself, he raises a brow and looked over to her with his arms tucked behind his head 
Instead as Dabi turned off the light and the distant thunder rolled she spoke up “Dabi..” “Hm?” She turned back over and some light from the opened part of the black out curtains illuminated her eyes, Dabi once again caught himself peering into them wistfully finding himself looking her over. 
 A genuine glow in her eye, appreciation and a connection the two have never felt before, “Thank you, for bringing me in.. you wont regret it,” She brings her bound hands up to pull the pillow further up under her head, and licked her lips, swallowing her fear and letting a wall down, even just alittle bit to him. Dabi mused and observed her closely, finally seeing the opposite end of what its like to have someone in need go to him of all people. “i haven't felt anything beyond disappointment for a long long time, so to say i feel comfortable with someone i was fighting not even a day ago says anything, i hope you understand and i'm not stepping over any boundaries.” He grinned, and responded with an amused chuckle. “Getting soft on me again, better not make that a habit with anyone else here, I just might get jealous.” Dabi grazed his finger against her cheek, she leaned against his hand and smiled angelically.
“I'm starting to like that fire in your eye. ” He ghosts his knuckles down her cheek as her eyes closed slowly, blinking exausted as the cold air kicked on from the ac unit above them, she shivered and threw all caution to the wind, Dabi stiffened as she moved closer to his end of the bed, she ducked her head abit beneath the blanket to snuggle against his warm chest, his heart hammered with nerves he still couldnt place a name too, the same hand that stroked her cheek rested on her shoulder, his thumb rubbing slow circles into the sweatshirts fabric. 
Comforting and confusing thoughts swirled through the villains mind as he soon came to realize he remained awake for all but another 20 minutes, the soft rise and fall of her chest and side indicated she had long fallen asleep in his arms. 
Dabi rested his chin against her head and attempted to find the sleep he had long since forgotten in his past life. Acceptance and comfort from someone. 
He sighed and whispered in a husky tone of voice.
“Glad we had that talk, Little Mouse…”
XXX~
Hey yall its my first MHA fic. You might see more of her and Dabi in the future cuz honestly this was fun!
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seeuonadarknite · 4 years
Text
captive — yandere nico antezza x f. reader
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warnings: kidnapping, noncon, facefucking, nico being a DEGEN
You really took seeing the light of day for granted. A few hours ago, a group of masked men snuck up from behind you and captured you for ransom. They were careless in the way that they tied your wrists together with scratchy rope, digging into the skin of your wrists and drawing fresh blood.
The way that they carelessly threw your body into a frigid, poorly lit cellar made it obvious to you that they held no regard for your personal comfort. Why would they? These were the same men that kidnapped you for Christ's sake. All they cared about was the money in your father's pockets.
It really sucked being the daughter of a loan shark; your father left quite a few people in debt and that naturally earned him some enemies. And any enemy of your father's was an enemy of yours, whether you liked it or not. That was just the natural flow of things.
But it wasn't fair. There was absolutely no reason for all of these men to want to bite your head off. It wasn't as if you were some stuck up princess mooching off of her father. You were well aware of the fact that every penny that sat in his bank account was retrieved in a corrupt manner. Unfortunately for you, being grounded and honest didn't get you anywhere in life and it wouldn't stop you from being taken into captivity.
All that really mattered for the time being was that your father paid up and freed you from the restraints that you swore you didn't deserve. It was only a matter of time until these savages lost their patiences and cut your throat open to bleed.
Snapping you out of your thoughts, the sound of the hefty, creaky basement door echoed throughout your ears. It was the first person to come and check up on you since you had been thrown down here, so you could only assume that your father had come to your rescue. However, once the mysterious figure entered your line of sight, your eyes widened. It wasn't your daddy, it was your prince charming, clad in all black. He probably had to sneak his way in here.
"Nico! Thank god you're here! I.. I thought I was going to die!" You cried out as he approached your trembling figure. Looking down at the rope that uncomfortably dug into your skin, Nico couldn't help but grin. "Ahh, amore mio, you look adorable with some rope burn. I almost don't even want to untie you." He gawked, staring you down like a starved carnivore eying its prey. You furrowed your brows. What the hell did he mean he didn't want to untie you? Your life was on the line here.
When you opened your mouth to retort, he forcefully grabbed your chin with that all too wide smile of his adorning his features. "I wanna stick my cock in your mouth! Fuck.. you look so good like that." He practically moaned in your ear as he began undoing his belt buckle and unbuttoning his trousers. This was absurd.
You knew that he had some weird secret fetishes, but this was a life or death situation. If he didn't get you the hell out of here sooner rather than later, you'd both end up with your heads on sticks. But it wasn't as if you could stop him or push him away. Thanks to the restraints tying you to the pole, your arms were rendered useless. But that didn't stop you from being able to kick him where the sun didn't shine.
No. You were at his mercy. If you pissed him off enough, he'd probably end up leaving you here to rot. You just had to swallow your pride, and perhaps his cum at that. "You're just so helpless! You probably thought I was going to save you from the big, scary wolves, right?" Without further notice, he stuffed your mouth with his fat cock, groaning at the feel of your wet cavern. "Silly girl! I am the big bad wolf!" The way his laughter mixed in with his grunting was borderline lewd.
God, you couldn't believe you were getting face fucked by your boyfriend inside of some thug's basement. You wanted to be mad, to focus on the fact that your captor could walk in at any given moment, but it was hard to train your focus on anything other than Nico's tip bruising the back of your throat as you gargled.
Maybe this was his way of dishing out a punishment for walking among the streets all by yourself. He would always scold you for leaving the house without inviting him, justifying it by saying that you were too trusting and someone could take advantage of you. For once he was right.
Snapping you out of your trance, Nico grabbed a fistful of your hair and began digging his colored nails into your scalp, most likely drawing blood. You couldn't help the whimper that escaped your mouth, sending vibrations throughout Nico's cock. Bad move. This gesture had him bucking his pelvis into your face, letting obscene sounds fall from his lips as your tongue swished against his cock. He sounded like a pornstar.
"Are you gonna be a good little cum slut and swallow my load? Or am I gonna have to leave you here for the bad guys?" He knew damn well that he wouldn't allow those pigs to lay a single grimy finger on you, but it was exhilarating seeing the way your eyes almost popped from their sockets as you shook your head frantically. "Brava ragazza." His voice lowered into a growl as his thrusts sped up.
He was rendering it impossible to breathe with the way he rolled his hips at a ferocious pace. You could barely focus on swirling your tongue around his length; he was practically doing it all for you with the way he ruthlessly fucked your face.
With one last needy thrust and the twitch of his cock, Nico plunged your head down onto his pelvis and forced you to choke on his throbbing cock as he unraveled.
"Swallow it like the good little whore that you are, okay?" He practically moaned, shooting ropes of cum into your mouth. It wasn't like you had a choice in the matter anyway; his hands were forcing you in place as he flooded your mouth with his semen. It wasn't until he heard the sound of your throat gurgling that he pulled away, watching as drips of his cum trickled down your chin.
Once he finally released you from his death grip, you turned away and began desperately gasping for air. Nicos fingers stroked at your hair as he watched you struggle to catch your breath, eyes at half-mast. It was absolutely adorable watching you pathetically try to regain your bearings.
"Why don't we hit the road, sí?"
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shoutosteakettle · 4 years
Text
NSFW Alphabet ~ Katsuki Bakugo
Word Count: 1.7k
Key: ☆,♤
Ask: Okay for one, I love all the hcs you did for Todoroki! Would you be able to do something like that for Bakugo?
Thanks, Anon for requesting this, I was already planning on doing this but then I put it on the back burner to focus on other things and kind of forgot about it. Anyways I hope you guys enjoy.
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Aftercare ~ What he’s like after sex.
➯ After sharing such an intimate moment with you Katsuki’s tough-guy façade waivers for just a little while.
➯ He’ll be super caring (more than usual), checking up on you every two minutes to make sure that you're okay, and asking you if you need anything so he can provide for you. 
➯ He wants you to know that he loves you and not just something that he uses from time to time to release stress.
Body part ~ His favorite body part of his and also his partner's.
➯ Katsuki’s favorite body part of his own are his hands because they are the very thing that drives you over the edge over and over and over again.
➯ Katsuki loves all. Of. You. He loves the shape of your eyes, the way that your collar bone pops, your stretch marks, your belly button, the softness of your lips, the way that your hair smells. Like for real, he can’t get enough of you.
Cum ~ Anything to do with cum.
➯ Suki’s cum is always very thick and completely opaque, it tastes sweet but also salty like saltwater taffy.
➯ Katsuki 's favorite place to cum is inside of you, he loves it, he believes it to be the most intimate part of lovemaking. 
➯ If you're not game for that his second favorite place to cum is on your stomach, though it doesn’t do the same for him as the former, it’s close. 
Dirty secret ~ Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of his.
➯ Katsukis has always wanted to try anal. Not for any particular reason, he just thinks that it might be interesting, hell it might even be fun.
Experience ~ How experienced is he? Does he know what he’s doing?
➯ He has had a couple of girlfriends before, but compared to you, it’s like night and day. 
➯ Dating you is like nothing Katsuki has ever experienced before. Half the time he has no idea what to do, but when you're in bed that's a whole different story. You had to teach him one or two things, but aside from that, he is amazing, every time he leaves you speechless.
Favorite position ~ This goes without saying.
➯ It’s Katsuki's personal goal for him to bury himself as deep as possible inside of you, he wants to feel all of you, and he really does mean all. 
➯ That being said his favorite positions include the following: The Anvil, Head Over Heels, Cowgirl/Reverse Cowgirl, Doggy Style, and Missionary.
Goofy ~ Is he more serious during the moment? Is he humorous?
➯ Katsuki isn’t super, super serious during sex, so if something funny happens he’ll chuckle for a second before carrying on with whatever he was doing.
➯ However, he’ll never purposely joke around while having sex. Even though he isn’t super intimate sex it’s still a special moment between the two of you.
Hair ~ How well-groomed is he? Does the carpet match the drapes?
➯ Blonde pubes as far as the eye can see! 
➯ I don’t see Katsuki as the type of person to trim his bush. It’s not that he doesn’t try for you, he just honestly never thought twice about things like that.
 ➯ Though if you were to say something about it he wouldn’t hesitate to fix things up for you.
Intimacy ~ How is he during the moment? The romantic aspect of it all.
➯ Katsuki usually isn’t very romantic, he knows that he loves you and thinks that is enough.
➯ But on special dates like Valentine's Day or your anniversary he tries his best. He’ll make reservations at your favorite restaurant and take you to see the movie that everyone has been talking about. 
➯ Once your outside adventures are done you can expect a very steamy lovemaking session to take place in the bedroom, which he decorated with rose petals scattered on the bedspread and candles that illuminate the whole room.
Jack off ~ Masturbation headcanon!
➯ I’m not going to lie to you, Katsuki is one hell of a horn dog.
➯ When you're not around for him to pound you senseless then jacking off is the next best thing.
➯ He'll be quick about, fast strokes, and he'll be thinking about you the whole time.
Kink ~ One or more of his kinks.
➯ Though he would never admit it he is really into choking and bondage. There is just something about the dominance of it all. He loves to be large and in charge.
➯ He is also super into overstimulation, spanking, and teasing, he enjoys watching you squirm underneath him.
➯ So basically he’s a total dom, in fact, he might even be a little bit of a sadist.
Location ~ Favorite places to do the do.
➯ Anywhere literally anywhere.
➯ In the car, on a table, against a wall, in the pool, on the roof. 
➯ Seriously anywhere, just say when.
Motivation ~ What turns them on, gets them going.
➯ Anything that you do. Anything that you say. Anything that you wear. 
➯ Kacchan is already a massive horndog with barely any self-control, so when you come around wearing your PINK boyshorts with your hair tied-up any ounce of that so-called self-control that he did have goes flying out the window.
No ~ Something he wouldn’t do, turn-offs.
➯ Anything that will cause you pain that’s not pleasurable for you. As soon as you say stop he doesn’t hesitate to do so.
Oral ~ Preference in giving or receiving.
➯ Prefers receiving or giving.
➯ When you suck him off he likes to put his hands on each side of your head and trust hard into your face.
➯ Of course, he’ll return the favor. His tongue will help you experience new highs that will leave you shaking and begging for more.
Pace ~ Is he fast and rough? Slow and sensual?
➯ Sex with is Katsuki almost always fast, hard, rough senseless pounding.
➯ On days when he is feeling more romantic than usual, he likes to take things slower. Foreplay will be longer and incorporate much more teasing, once you arrive at the main event things will be slower and intimate than normal.
Quickie ~ His opinions on quickies, how often.
➯ Katsuki thoroughly enjoys quickies. It’s already been established that he is always, always horny for you, so I would say that quickies are pretty frequent.
Risk ~ Is he game to experiment? Does he take risks?
➯ He’ll never be the one to suggest anything because he thinks that you are more than enough for him.
➯ But if you were to suggest something he would be all for it, as long as you’re safe.
Stamina ~ How many rounds can he go for? How long does he last?
➯ This man has stamina for days.
➯ He can go for as many rounds as you need and then some. Like seriously, it’s almost as if he doesn’t have an off button.
Toys ~ Does he own toys? Does he use them? On a partner or themselves?
➯ He does not own any dildos, when Katsuki is in bed he wants to be the one who is making you scream his name.
➯ That being said he does have a couple of pairs of handcuffs (his favorite are the fluffy ones with the leopard print), very, very occasionally he’ll use a vibrator if he needs that extra “oomph”, and he has a scarf that he uses specifically for tying your wrist to his headboard.
Unfair ~ How much he likes to tease.
➯ Katsuki’s tease game is top tier. He’ll leave you a moaning, shaking mess before he even gets inside of you.
➯ Especially if you feel hornier than usual, he’ll take full advantage of the situation, and you’ll be in tears by the end of the night.
Volume ~ How loud is he, what sounds does he make.
➯ When he is not kissing you, you’ll hear grunts, pants, and the very occasional moan.
➯ Kutski is very vocal during sex, his favorite quotes include: “Your Daddy’s little slut aren’t ya”, “You like that, huh” and of course “I fucking love you so fucking much!”
Wild card ~ A random headcanon for the character.
➯Katsuki is big on cuddling. He might seem like a mean jerk on the outside but on the inside, he is a slightly less mean jerk.
➯ He’ll always find an excuse to have you in his arms, he’ll never admit it but he is desperate to be with you. He wants to stay with you in his arms forever.
X-ray ~ Let’s see what’s going on under those clothes!
➯ Katsuki is super strong (duh!) and has the muscles to prove it. You notice the way that his biceps and forearms are in a state of constant flex whenever he supports you while you ride him.
➯ His dick is definitely above average 6.8 maybe 6.9 inches (172.72 mm, 175.26 mm).  His girth is also something that he has the right to be proud of, he is quite thick so every time he thrust into you he fills you up completely.
Yearning ~ How high is his sex drive?
➯ Pshh!
➯ It’s literally all he can think about.
➯ He’s thinking about where it’s going to happen, when it’s going to happen, and if he should try out that new position he saw on the internet.
➯ Often he’ll find himself wondering if you are just as obsessed with him as he is you.
Zzz ~ How quickly he falls asleep afterward.
➯ He’ll make sure that you're okay and that you have everything that you need,
➯ Then he’ll doze off pretty soon after.
➯ He likes to fall asleep with your head on his chest so he can play with your hair as he listens to talk about how your day went.
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comradekatara · 4 years
Note
if you havent already, may i ask for some azula headcanons for the modern au? looking at your blog makes me grow new brain cells
of course!! congratulations on the birth of your brain cells :)
for a large chunk of her childhood, azula did nothing but school. no after-school activities, no playing outside, nothing. just school and then releasing her pent-up anger and aggression bullying zuko, as one does
teachers who were sympathetic to her dysfunctional situation routinely urged ozai to enroll her in a physical activity, but they were ignored. but by the time she got to middle school, one teacher was able to make a case that after-school activities would be advantageous on a college application. finally azula was permitted to choose a sport from a list of options that ozai found acceptable. she shot down horseback riding and tennis and argued for field hockey instead. 
when the full extent of her aggression became known, her coach had to invest in some reinforced mouthguards so azula wouldn’t be knocking out her own teammates’ teeth left and right. 
naturally, katara played ice hockey, but when their local rink was closed down due to asbestos (*rebecca bunch voice* “you guys are good! bye-bye :(”), she ended up on azula’s field hockey team. they began beating the shit out of each other every day. 
most of the kids on the team were very scared of both azula and katara, as they both had hair-trigger tempers and completely opposite idiosyncrasies that would lead to a meltdown. also, as mentioned, they regularly beat the shit out of each other.
one time they got roomed together in a hotel for an away game. it was weird and quiet and neither of them slept. they lost the game the next morning.
basically from the very first time katara gave her attitude, azula was doomed to forever nurse a crush on katara that she would never express to anyone, least of all herself. so that was fun. 
as for her life at school, things were boring in their predictability. azula spent all night every night studying and writing essays and doing supplemental research on her various class units that no one asked for. even when classes were easy, she made them hard for herself by taking her homework to the strongest possible extreme. she got As on every single thing and anytime she didn’t earn an A it was common knowledge among the faculty that rounding up was a reasonable price to pay to prevent the possibility of violence. 
she didn’t really have any friends. every once in a while she loaned a hair tie to ty lee and felt tingly in her fingers all the rest of the day. she worked on one group project with mai one time for a dramatic lit class and mai called her a lunatic to her face. (azula turned up her nose and pretended to take it as a compliment but she pummeled her pillow to shreds that night and didn’t even understand why.) 
she joined mock trial but quit out of rage when sokka was chosen to be the lead counselor on one of their cases instead of her. she lied and said it conflicted with her field hockey schedule, which sokka knew to be a lie. 
so as for sokka. she was violently obsessed with his perfect grades and good-natured casual attitude. how could he be both brilliant/an academic inspiration/her idol and role model and also socially gifted? moreover, how dare he be related to katara??? these questions kept azula up at night, even when she ran out of five-hour energy shots and her body was desperate for sleep. 
sokka, in return, was generally oblivious to azula, despite knowing the names of most people in the student body. (he’s just a nice guy like that.) for a while he knew her as the freak who twisted katara’s arm. once he became friends with zuko, he knew her as the freak who crushed a soda can using only her thumb and index finger when she spotted sokka in her house. he had the general sense that azula either hated him or was in love with him but didn’t particularly care which one it was. 
azula harbored an elaborate theory that sokka was conspiring to ruin her life and ensure that she could never get to any of her top choice colleges. she believed that if he succeeded in his plot, she would probably have to go somewhere completely unacceptable, like georgetown. or northwestern. 
zuko could never get her to explain why she thought sokka cared enough to sabotage her. sokka was two years older, after all; it wasn’t like they were competing for status or a valedictorian spot. but any time he asked azula why she was so hung up on sokka, she growled like a wolf and zuko took several meaningful steps away.
azula had had a crush on suki since the second they met; she believed that sokka was dating suki to torment her, even though azula had never spoken to suki and suki had no clue she existed. 
in all of high school, azula never attended a party or any sports games other than her own. one time she walked through the gym when the cheerleaders were practicing because she had left her shoes behind, and she stood stock-still for fifteen minutes watching ty lee lift two people over her head. the coach blew her whistle three times before azula jolted to attention and left. 
azula spent an hour doing her hair and preparing her makeup every morning until she saw suki come to school with wet hair once. this was a revelation too powerful to ever put into words. she threw out her makeup after that. (zuko nicked it out of the trash and would eventually use it for drag many years later, which felt right.) 
in her senior year, after she got into harvard and could relax approximately 20% of the tension she’d been harboring for the last 18 years of her life, azula began volunteering at a dog shelter on the weekends. she would never tell anyone about this. she found walking massive dogs to be incredibly soothing. 
she relaxed another 20% of her tension in college after she kissed a girl for the first time. and another 5% a few weeks after that when she stopped filing her nails into weapons all the time. 
as an adult, the best thing that ever happened for her was the weekend of her father’s funeral. she attended it on friday and had a surprisingly civil lunch with zuko afterwards. on saturday she purchased a ferocious, purebred german shepard. on sunday she wore sweatpants. it was a good weekend.
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tuwam · 3 years
Text
every corner of the institute has been laid tense and quiet by the eggshells the members have to dance around. eggshells planted carefully, cracking with each situation that seems to throw itself at their doorsteps. minsoo, currently still bouncing back and forth from training and the infirmary when his pain gets to be too much. yeonhee, who is keeping herself up to her pristine reputation just a little too much ( annoyingly so actually ) with the amount of shadowhunters coming in from various, concerning wounds. kae who despite his patience has found more desperation and rigor in his routines for their training. teachers who are doing more but saying less, pushing more but revealing less.
there’s mina, who was always a pleasure to see despite her schedule, is hovering around them with eyes looking through them like a lioness scans fields while her children play.
it’s quite terrifying though maybe it’s supposed to be comforting. everyone around them doing what they can to protect, but doing it under the shadow of ignorance, ignorance that’s trailing the small stench of fear through the institute. 
then there’s minjae. and minjae is the tip of it all. since the arrival of him and mina’s brother, minjae’s temperament is the definition of walking on eggshells. he’s taken to skipping lunches now that lexie’s amassed some comfort to talk with them before the bells ring. she doesn’t sit with them the full time yet but she comes for longer periods of time before lunch break is over and that’s enough. it’d be even better if minjae would stop making his deference so obvious, especially because some of the younger boys follow his motions like some kind of pack leader. it’s rather childish and seoyoung - she’s had enough. 
there haven’t been many missions for younger recruits but because of the necessity of her training she’s had more in-field practice. that means, less time for minjae to come in with scrapes, but more time for him to come when he’s avoiding another lesson. focuses recently have been on runes and spells, combat training and defensive training. seoyoung’s hand aches with the amount of runes she’s drawn today, with the abrasions from how many stitches she’s fixated but it itches for the feel of her weapons or at least the wraps she wears to train. so much so that after another display of minjae’s attitude, a cross of harsh words between him and a senior trainer, and whispers again about his snappiness, she’s marching towards the training room.
‘you wanna spar?’ “yeah, i do.”
they both have the time. the words come out of nowhere, a small break in the hushed noises that seem to fill every room nowadays. the institute is still lively yes, but in a more reserved way, people too caught in their thoughts and their duties to take a breath. when she asks, practically marching into the room after lunch, eyes are on all of them, particularly minjae who’s shining his tools, sweating from a previous combat session. seoyoung’s tying her hair up, fastening the ties around her wrist and he’s watching her, curiously, evenly. there’s something about minjae’s stare that helps her understand the hesitance people may have to challenge him. but she shrugs it off, as easily as she’s seen his sister do and the smile he gives is immediate.
‘yeah let’s do it.’ 
yeonhee is hanbyul’s prodigy by far, quick to think, assess and move despite the chaos of the infirmary. seoyoung is most definitely kae’s, and for all minjae’s training and bravado, it’s something that even he knows. the sparring mat is cleared and seoyoung feels the comfort of her boots and the snug material of her training gear. she feels at home, and despite every breath that’s been small, labored around everyone at the institute, she truly breathes this one in. 
minjae is in his element, but she knows his skill is the cleverness that comes alive on the field. his hair’s pulled back, he’s not the wild kid trying to scare newbies and brushing brash with everyone around him. he’s the boy she’d seen fight and smile up at her the first day she walked in these doors. 
‘i’ll buy lunch if you land a hit.’ “i’ll let you buy me lunch when i do.”
one of the upperclassmen is between them, his arm adorned with runes she’d had to spruce up just a few hours ago. he grins, obviously ready for what’s going to take place and the group around them that’s amassed. 
‘clean fight guys.’
chuckles amass around them and seoyoung’s grin mirrors his own. the whistle blows and her grip on her wooden staff tightens. minjae’s foot shifts, seoyoung’s own follows. he doesn’t take the time to size her up - never does, and in the motion he takes to rush forward she’s ducking under. minjae’s fast, always has been - but she’s just a little faster and with more energy from not sparring all day as he’s been. so she ducks the strike, uses her momentum to come behind him and when he blocks the strike with his left arm, she swipes her leg under his feet to trip him up.
minjae recovers fast, and as he rolls out of it he’s able to block her oncoming strike once more. they’re quick, and this block is the first breath she’s taken since they started. where seoyoung is patient minjae is still strong, so she moves back almost immediately before he can use that strength to push her back.
minjae hates being on the defensive so she prepares herself for the strength he’ll pour into each swing once he has an advantage. so he rushes forward, she grips the staff in her hands and prepares to block each strike. they have more weight and he’s trying to push her back, tire her out so he can sneak a hit in. seoyoung matches each strike but her footing suffers by the sheer weight with each swing. she’s still fast enough to hold her ground and she knew she’d be on the defensive, that’s just how it is. the thing is, minjae trying to push his way past like this is going to be his downfall, and she knows it well. 
she lets her foot slip a bit further, she lets him press harded and push her back farther, just so she can catch him off-guard when he thinks he’s won. and she does, she stands her ground, puts more weight in her feet to dodge a particularly sloppy strike, one that he probably thought would win it all, and she pivots under and around to strike him on the shoulder. between the weight shift and all the energy he’d used in the strike, for it to fail causes minjae falling forward and the strike is enough for him to lose his balance and fall onto the mat. seoyoung holds the staff firm against his chest when he turns to face her, fists gripped around his weapon.
heavy breaths can be heard between the silence of the training room and sweat slides from her forehead as they lock eyes. minjae, who hates to lose, minjae whose been a hothead for the past few weeks, looking up at her and everyone looking like she’s dealt the final straw. breaths are held and no one moves for a few seconds, everyone wondering how he’ll react based on how he’s been. but seoyoung knows him, better than those with a surface level idea of him.
“if your head was out your ass you’d have dodged that.” ‘oh yeah?’ “yeah. and you’d stop ostracizing the people you need." ‘like who?’ “your family? your new partner? there’s enough happening.”
and she’s angry too, she’s just better at channeling it. she’s angry because there’s no time for issues like this. there’s no time for minjae to be ostracizing new recruits like lexie who are here to help risk their life for the unknown. there’s no time for minjae to be so clouded by it that he can’t put up a fight worth anything. there’s no time and seoyoung will be damned if it gets him hurt out there.
‘yeah okay, don’t lecture me.’ “someone needs to.” but he’s smiling, a dry laugh slipping out as he gets to his feet. ‘yeah yeah, what are you hungry for?’ “barbecue please.”
‘point to seoyoung.’ the upperclassman finally calls the spar and breaths are finally taken all around them. hustle finally seeps back into the room and the bubble is burst. minjae wipes the sweat from his brow and tosses both their staffs to the side.
‘best two out of three when we’re done.’ “how about you handle your apologies first.” he doesn’t say anything to that, just scoffs and lets her follow him out the training room and towards the entrance doors. the air will do him good too, and despite how he comes off, or how they view him he’s slipping his jacket on her five seconds out the door and an extra steele in his pocket when they hit the streets to go eat. 
this is the minjae she knows. 
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raleighcarrera · 4 years
Text
understanding
platinum | raleigh carrera x mc (cadence dorian)
~2k words | M
raleigh and cadence have an understanding. for the @choicesmaychallenge day 27 prompt of the same name.
they have an understanding. if he enters through the front door, she’s supposed to come in through the back. cadence isn’t allowed to text or call late at night, anymore, and when they do get together, after they’re done, under no circumstances can she ask him to stay.
because he’s weak, and he will.
at this point in his career, he should be better at saying ‘no’ to his pr team and his manager and everyone who pretends to know what’s best for him. it’s not like he gives a shit what anyone else wants -- and the advice of a few old stuffy suits has hardly held him back before. 
but being with him has only ever hurt her, and that’s difficult to stomach, even though he knows it’s true. so maybe they have a point, when they say that he should give cadence her space -- at least where the public is concerned. that’s probably what fiona and the rest of her team wants for her, too. even if cadence is too nice to say it, tying herself to walking disaster, raleigh carrera -- r&b’s time bomb -- is something that’s certainly left her in more bad conversations than good ones.
he knows because he’s seen the things they all say about her, online. she’s never brought it up to him before, but he’s not blind. it isn’t just her -- it’s any girl he’d be with, any woman the fans could pick apart and the media could judge. though cadence has seemed to attract more negative attention than other models or actresses he’s been out with in the past, for whatever reason. that’s probably his fault, somehow, too.
so -- he found himself a new girlfriend, who’s so desperate for fame she’ll take any press she can get, and now he and cadence have an understanding, instead of a relationship. 
it’s... something. it isn’t ideal, especially because it obviously wears on her. it certainly isn’t what he wants, but her public image is positive, now, so maybe that makes his suffering worth it. 
he pegged her as a goody-two-shoes from the moment they met, and she’s never grown out of that, even with all the fame and fortune in the world at her fingertips. like someone who’s never been to the principal’s office before, cadence follows his terms to a t, and doesn’t ask him to stay even though he wants her to. 
she doesn’t ever slip up -- she never calls at the wrong time, never accidentally gets caught by paparazzi sneaking in somewhere she isn’t supposed to be, and part of him wants her to do that, too, so that ending this ridiculous charade can be out of his hands. 
cadence doesn’t, though. she won’t. 
put simply... that sucks. 
for someone whose livelihood revolves around being able to put words together poetically, he can’t quite find a way to express how he feels about this shitty, stupid situation -- to her or anyone else. most of the time, it makes him unfairly angry at her, that she doesn’t mess up, that she doesn’t force him to call it all off, that she doesn’t ask for more. the rest of the time, raleigh finds that he’s annoyed with himself for being such a martyr -- for being a fucking coward.
she really does deserve better. 
a good guy would cut her off completely. he should do the right thing and give cadence a clean break -- set her free. say or do something so hurtful she’ll have no choice but to never think of him again.
he isn’t a good guy, though. he isn’t a martyr. he’s selfish, and if she’s going to keep sneaking around with him so willingly, he’s going to keep taking advantage.
at the crux of it, that’s what he’s best at: taking. 
though he wonders, as she falls apart beneath his hands, whispering the most beautiful exhales of his name, how anyone could be expected to give this up. even in his heyday, when he’d made a point of never ever seeing the same girl twice, raleigh doesn’t think he could have turned his back on this -- on the way cadence always shakes under his lips, on the rosy tint that covers the full apples of her cheeks when he twists his hips just right, on the shape of her beautiful mouth when she wails the walls down. 
silence surrounds them afterwards, when she finally comes back to herself. there used to be a time when this moment was his favorite part of the evening, when she’d let raleigh keep kissing her until she started hiccuping because he wouldn’t let up enough for her to catch her breath. back when they were together for real, he used to rely on the comfort of the companionably hushed moments they shared, especially after she made him come so hard he saw stars. 
now the quiet that fills the room is stifling. cadence pulls the bed sheet all the way up to her neck.
this should be the ideal situation -- they can be together, mostly, and it doesn’t have to hurt her. so why does it feel like such a disaster?
raleigh turns his head and catches a glimpse of her face, pained where she’s already watching him from her side of the bed, and realization washes over him. right. because it is hurting her.
he doesn’t know what to say to her, but she finally has mercy on him and takes it out of his hands. “i can’t do this anymore.”
raleigh pushes up onto his side, staring at her. “what?”
cadence purses her lips, and he watches with a dawning horror as her wide, expressive eyes turn glassy. she shakes her head. “i don’t want to do this anymore, raleigh. not like this.”
he studies the expression on her face, looking for weak points he can exploit. god, you are such a shitty, shitty person, his mind scolds. “why?”
“because --” a rough exhale cuts her off. he keeps staring at her even as she flops on her back in his bed, staring up at the ceiling. then whatever dam’s been holding the words back within her breaks, and she unloads on him, all at once, the words tripping out in one breathless rush. “i don’t want to sneak around anymore. i don’t like keeping this a secret. i hate -- that we never get to spend any real time together anymore, i hate having to see you with her everywhere i turn, i hate -- i hate the way i feel when i leave here, i hate that it doesn’t bother you more.” her head turns on the pillow to look at him pleadingly. “why doesn’t it bother you more?”
raleigh clenches his jaw, trying to remember to think before he speaks for once. “cadence... of course it bothers me.”
she shakes her head. “but why doesn’t it bother you more? why doesn’t it bother you enough?”
he lifts a hand to rub roughly at his eyes, pressing his fingers into them until he sees spots. the last time they had a conversation this self-reflective, he was high out of his mind. what he wouldn’t give to go back in time, just this once. 
“i guess i’ve had longer to get used to this than you have,” he answers, though even he can hear how the words ring hollow. she deserves a better explanation, he’s not so out of touch that he can’t see that. the expression on his face twists into a grimace. “you know what it’s like to date me. you don’t want that.”
“maybe i do.” 
he huffs, rolling to the edge of the bed. he sits on the edge of the mattress, staring out the window. his back is to her, and they’re up on the fifty-second floor, but there’s nothing he wouldn’t give for some idiot with a camera and a telescopic lens to get a peek in here, now, and put him out of his misery. “well, i don’t want that for you.” there. that’s the honesty she deserves.
raleigh can hear her shifting in the sheets behind him. the mattress dips as she gets up. “you don’t get to just decide that for me.”
he keeps his eyes resolutely trained on the window, even though he can see her in his peripheral vision, tip-toeing around the bedroom, picking up the pieces of her outfit. “i do if i’m the one that has to watch it ruin your life.” 
“being with you didn’t ruin my life. i never said --”
“you didn’t have to.” he hasn’t smoked in years, but the sight of her, there, half-dressed in his bedroom when he turns his head around to finally look at her, makes him crave nicotine desperately. “because i saw it on my own. and i’m not going to be responsible for that.”
“so -- fuck what i want, right?” it’s probably good that he’s made her angry. it’ll make it easier for her to leave him behind, and he won’t have to listen to that rasp in her voice, the thick sadness that won’t leave. “god forbid any of us dare to go against the whims of raleigh carrera.”
“look, what do you want me to say?” he bites out, annoyed. “that i’m no fucking good for you? that you should stop wasting your time here and move on with your life, already? i’ve said it a hundred times. you never listen.”
he gets a good look at her, then. cadence is half-dressed and pissed, in her skirt and bra, holding her shirt in one hand. her hair is a mess, and she’s glaring at him -- beautifully, like she does everything else. she is so fucking pretty. it makes him sick.
“i want you to be honest with yourself! i want you to admit that you feel something. i want things to go back to the way they were, when we were together and happy, raleigh.” her eyes narrow in that rare way he’s seen them do, sometimes -- that once in a blue moon moment when she’s about to say something mean. “i don’t want you like this anymore. i want all of you, or nothing. no more halves.”
so that’s it, then. he swallows, wordlessly slipping out of bed to reach for his own clothes, dressing silently beside her. they don’t touch at all -- not like when they’d undressed, earlier, frantically kissing and tripping over each other’s feet on their way to the bed. she’s obviously waiting for him to say something.
“i’ll walk you out.”
“raleigh.”
he’d been hoping to avoid looking at her. it was going to make getting her out of here a lot easier, but the sound of her voice, cutting through his thoughts like that, makes it impossible. god, is he weak. 
he steps into her space, grabbing her face in his hands. immediately, cadence sighs like this is what she’s been waiting for; she sinks against him, letting him push her mouth open with his tongue, letting him pull at her hair, letting him take, take, take.
she hiccups when he finally lets her up for air. the sound makes him weirdly emotional -- nostalgic in a painful way -- and he shuts his eyes as fast as he can, in the hopes that it’ll be before she notices. 
cadence touches him so gently -- more than he deserves -- and that lets him know that he wasn’t as subtle as he was hoping for. raleigh blinks his wet eyes open, and she hiccups again, drawing a laugh from him against his will. 
she laughs, too. then she lets him gently brush her hair back off her face -- lets him finish helping her get dressed. she lets him walk her all the way downstairs, and lets him kiss her goodbye in the lobby, and lets him watch her leave out the front door to the sound of shouting questions and the sight of camera flashes. 
they do understand each other. 
he just hopes she's right.
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