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c0ffinshit · 3 months

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Hello, You. (Dexter Morgan x Stalker!Reader) PROLOGUE

a/n: hello, you. (get it? hehe). ANYWAYS sorry i've been gone for a while. i've literally been depressed for like months but I'M OKAY NOW. i promise. so, in honor of my mental health being good now, i wrote this story about a reader who REALLY needs to see a doctor. word count: 1,466 warnings: dead dove: do not eat, mentions of attempted rape (and rape in general), assault, borderline psychopath reader, stalking, like one mention of abortion, joe goldberg core

Hello, you. Dexter Morgan, you sick and beautiful freak of nature. I know what you’ve done. I’ll stay quiet for now since I’m such a good girlfriend. Well, about the girlfriend part. You don’t know yet. But you will soon, my love.

I would tell you how long I’ve been following you, but I fear it would make you more likely to run the other way. But the thing about that is I don’t want you gone yet. You don’t know yet that you desire me to. The same way I enjoy and crave you.

Ever since Rita died, your life has been fading colors, Dexter. You lack a desire, a need to kill, and feel that release. And I understand that better than anyone. Sure, the context may differ for us, but it always leads down the same path. You don’t have that drive, but I do. And more importantly, I want to give you that purpose you feel you lack. I’ve done everything to get your eyes to meet mine, but everything never works. It’s like I’m some piece of glass you can ignore. You want to look past me, Dexter, but I find that incredibly flustering when I’m standing there. I’ve quit jobs at places frequently and wore heavy makeup and ugly clothes, all for you. You can’t ignore me forever, Dexter.

Now I sit in a nearly empty store, just for you. It’s like I said, you can’t ignore me for long.

The store is bland and uninteresting, a place I would never expect you to be. Of course, this is where you’ll see me finally. You wouldn’t be able to unsee me. I’ve dyed my hair and changed my appearance. It’ll be hard to recognize me of the changes I’ve made. I know you’ll think: I’ve seen this girl before, but I can’t place where. But the truth is that you’ve noticed me in everything your eyes have touched. At supermarkets and malls, where I just watch you and your children enjoy a day out together. Then, your wife was murdered brutally by the Trinity Killer. Now, did I have connections to the Trinity Killer to cause her death? No, unfortunately. The death of your wife was still all him. But I quickly struck when I knew it was my time to shine. The children, not including Harrison, were finally gone. Now that I can manage. You, Harrison, and I could finally be the perfect family together.

But you had to make things complicated. First, it was Lila West. Now, I don’t like cheaters, Dexter. But here’s the thing about that. It's hard to compare all of your actions and say that cheating on your wife is the worst of them.

She was a serial arsonist. Lila didn’t understand anything about you, but she was good at taking care of your so-called addiction to heroin. You told her what she wanted to comprehend. Lila tried to save you when you were unsavable in her eyes. She wanted to save the unsavable.

Next thing you know, she’s off to France after almost killing you and Rita’s children in a house fire. She ran from you when you didn’t choose her over your wife. Pathetic, honestly. As much as I can say that I would do the same, I would be wrong. Dexter, I’ve known you for years now. We were coming up on our fourth year together. My fourth year in your life without you knowing of my existence.

Then that girl came into your life. What’s her name?

Oh, right, Lumen—the poor girl from Minnesota who sweetly begged for your help in the killing of her rapists. As much as she got in my way, I will admit, I did like her for you.

If I failed to exist, you would've destined to be with her. How funny fate works, though, since she left your sight in the blink of an eye. Was that my doing? For the most part, it was all her. Lucky me that I didn’t have to do anything before she told you that her dark passenger had left her and how she finally managed to heal from the torment. It's funny how someone so tortured by her past could move on so quickly, unlike you, who seems forever stuck in that cargo container.

My point is every girl in your life has left you in some capacity.

And the only male figure in your life failed you. I, however, understand that you don’t need saving or fixing. Killing is a part of you. Harry made that very clear to you. He tried to save you by shaping you into a hero. But as we both know, that didn’t last very long.

Now you’re here in Iron Lake, New York. Ten years clear from killings. I’m sitting outside the homely yet bland store, waiting for you to leave. Yes, I plan to follow you home. But I have a good reason. Tonight’s the night I tell you of the accident you saved me from, how you caught the man that could’ve killed me that very night. You rescued me by slaughtering him.

You probably don’t remember that night. I don’t blame you for that. It was just another kill for you. But allow me to enlighten you.

It was when you were still in Miami, November 1st, about nine at night.

I was leaving a bar after another sad night alone. A man follows me out of the bar. I can’t remember his name or his face. You would be better at recognizing his name and his face than me. All I do recall is someone grabbing me as I left, pulling me into an alley. His hand covered my screams, his other holding a hunting knife to my throat.

"Shut the fuck up, or this goes straight through your fucking neck." The man threatened, pressing the knife deeper into my neck.

I’d be powerless my whole life, always a second choice, but I never pled for what happened to me. But I don’t blame him for what he targeted me—a vulnerable young woman leaving a bar in early November. It’s a recipe for murder.

My voice tries to scream out more, my body thrashing against his. The man's grip moves away from my mouth, moving down my body. I feel tears swell in my eyes as his hand pulls up my skirt and pulls down my panties. I knew where this was going, and I was terrified. I couldn’t afford a police investigation or an abortion. I would have to carry the baby, that fucking rape baby.

Suddenly, the knife he was holding drops out of his hand. His threatening pleas of my silence turn hushed as I hear his body thud against the pavement. The loose rocks and debris scratch against his body as you drag him away. My eyes are shut tight, too scared to open them. But I knew it was you, the Bay Harbor Butcher. Things like this were happening all over the city. Stories of your heroism, saving all walks of life. You were a hero, never the villain. I just never thought it would happen to me.

The dragging briefly turns shushed as I feel your eyes on me. "Go. Run far." You say in a hushed tone.

My eyes shoot open, and it feels like my feet think for me. I do as you say. I ran, and I ran fast. My feet and lungs held my body as upright as they could. Finally, I reached a gas station near my apartment before I became tired. I ran five miles the night, just on adrenaline alone.

That’s how you saved my life that night, Dexter. Three words. You had given me a purpose and something to fight for.

It wasn’t hard to find you after that. I searched in forums across the internet, talking of this Bay Harbor Butcher persona of yours. Of course, I never encountered you on any of those, which I should’ve figured. So, my search efforts had become ten times harder. So, I did what any logical person would do and found patterns within your murders, all criminals who either went under the radar or were recently released. You try to save the people, like some sick and twisted Batman. When, if anything, you follow closer to Bateman than the caped crusader. I did what a cop or detective couldn’t have done in a year. After all that time and effort, I found your name and shady Iron Lake cabin: Dexter Morgan, a man in the countryside with a girlfriend who's a cop. Shame for her since she won’t live to hear my declaration. But even if she does, she won’t like what she hears.

#dexter morgan #dexter showtime #michael c hall #dexter morgan x reader #send help #i want him #dead dove do not eat

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unohanabbygirl · 2 months

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So, based off of that really good descriptive scene (probably one of my favorites by the way) of when Aemond got a flashback of killing Luke when he watched Pinocchio get eaten by the whale, did the family resolve to have the movie banned for the time being? And if so, what other things have been placed on the banned list for the family so as not to trigger any ptsd flashbacks? And if you’d like to elaborate, I’d love to hear more about why you chose to use that movie scene in particular.

Ohhhh, i love this question!

Pinocchio was actually on the “no watch list” for a whiilee. Now that he’s older Aemond has no problem with it despite that twinge of slight discomfort still being present, but after that particular event the adults refused to make room for another incident so they refuse to take risks. I myself chose Pinocchio for a few reasons; one being that I feel Pinocchio and Luke are one in the same, young boys who want nothing more than to prove themselves and set off to accomplish said goal. For Pinocchio he wants to become a real boy while Luke wants to show he’s just as much of a real Targ as the rest of his family, that he can stand beside Jace rather than tucked behind him. That he won’t cower while so much is on the line.

The parallels in both the whale scene and Luke’s death hit close to home in my opinion, mirroring each other in a way so to speak. One depicts an idealistic child-like pov of something such as being swallowed whole by an overwhelming creature that would otherwise end in a gruesome death, while the other (Luke) actually experiences said death, remembers what it feels like to be eaten alive and everything. These events are so similar yet couldn’t be more different. Young Aemond saw a boy being devoured and his mind took him back to one of his biggest regrets. It didn’t matter that Pinocchio ended up just fine because Luke didn’t. Even though Aemond was a child he’d already been born knowing how untruthful Disney fairytales were.

Okay, so there is actually a crap ton of media thats been banned in the home for one reason or another. Either that be because the sight of arrows makes Jace so uncomfortable that he can feel them piercing his skin again, or the sight of fire bringing Egg back to the very moment Rhaenyra was murdered in front of him.

mass disease in film is a no no because it reminds Alicent of her own death. And really anything having to do with infant/child death for Helaena sake.

Sexual assault in media is a theme they tend to stray away from and don’t take likely. Harwin will happily spoil a movie for himself if it means not running into any SA scenes since Alicent and Helaena have experienced martial rape and Aegon has been a perpetrator himself. Once Luke’s own history comes to light this rule will be even stricter without question.

A few movies that have been barred from being viewed in their homes are as follows.

1. Promising young woman - Alicent thought she’d be able to handle it but couldn’t stomach it despite its message.

2. The lovely bones - Hits too close to home for the parents. Though their children were kidnapped they still know what it feels like to wake up one day with your child by your side and go to sleep without them the next

3. Grave of fireflies - This one puts a perspective on the outcome of war from everyday civilians pov and its filled the room with guilt.

4. Gladiator - this one Jace watched while at a friend’s house and was actually excited, but he soon realized he just couldn’t handle the battle scenes.

5. Orphan - Egg watched this on his own and enjoyed it up until the scene where the treehouse is burned down.

#asks

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sister-lucifer · 1 year

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Why even bother putting proship dni in your bio when you literally write rape porn? You are not any better than those types of people lmfao.

yk, i wasn’t originally gonna answer this, but i think this is actually an important discussion. long post ahead, be weary.

[tw for discussion of rape, sexual assault, pedophilia, and incest. stay safe.]

first things first: i don’t want this post to come off angry. I’m not, i understand why you might feel this way. this is a complex and nuanced situation that can be hard to wrap your head around

i’m not a puritan, i don’t mind dark/problematic content inherently, i know big shocker! but there’s a difference between writing something and glorifying it as though it is a positive.

all of my potentially triggering fics are FLUSH with warnings, because warnings are important! i know that what i’m writing is…well, intense! very intense for some people! and that’s ok! i can accomplish the balancing act that is writing what i want while still doing the most I can to keep my audience safe and comfortable.

every once in a while i’ll come across one of those stepcest or age gap fics while on my nightly search for smut, and i scroll by them without a thought because they, they’ve been properly marked with warnings and tagged, i have no business here.

but there’s a big different between that and trying to romanticize these things.

when i write my non/dub con fics, it’s obvious (or at least it should be obvious) that the aggressor is, to put it bluntly, a massive piece of shit. youre supposed to feel afraid or even a bit uncomfortable, because that isn’t a normal situation. you are not supposed to view those scenarios as just “oh another cutesy ship fic” because that’s not that they are. they’re dark and dirty and should be treated as such.

thats what i think makes a lot of the difference between me and actual proshippers: how the relationships are portrayed and how the author wants you to feel towards the aggressor or more powerful person in the relationship.

for a good example of everything i’m against, i suggest watching this video over blogthegreatrouge. here’s the spark notes version:

Rouge repeatedly featured rape, sexual assault, and pedophilic relationships in their comics. now if handled well, i wouldn’t be saying anything. but you are supposed to feel bad for the rapists and predators. you are supposed to sympathize with them and see their literal crimes as just “oh they were only trying to get their crush’s attention, so it’s ok!” but it’s not. i know that, you know that, Rouge SHOULD know that, and yet she’s portraying these things as normal relationships to an audience of children, which Rogue is definitely aware of. on top of that all of the triggering material is unmarked, meaning anyone could stumble upon it.

THIS is what I have an issue with. THIS is what actual proshippers do. and this is inherently harmful, because anyone who isn’t already mature enough to understand that this is wrong will take those experiences with them and it could put them in harms way. a child who sees that could think it’s okay, and potentially not speak up about abuse because of it.

for further examples of what i’m against, check this video as well. these authors are writing about taboo relationships which feature incest and often the young girl is only 17 or 18. i don’t think writing about these things in and of itself is bad, in fact i think there’s much discussion to be had around these issues, but glorifying them to an audience of young girls as if it’s the perfect romance is not the move! seriously, if you go to the amazon reviews for these books, too many of them are teenage girls talking about how they with their stepdad/teacher/dad were like this. THAT is a bad move.

Or what about the Killing Stalking scandal? maybe people criticize killing stalking because it “glorifies” abuse and murder, but if you actually read it, it doesn’t do that. it’s supposed to make you feel uncomfortable and gross, it’s supposed to be HORROR, not romance! the only reason it has the reputation it does is because anime review youtubers brought the comic to their audience of young people who weren’t mature enough to grasp the layers and nuance of what they were reading. killing stalking is a good comic, but all of its goodness is lost in the sea of teenage girls who have no idea what they’re reading.

any of my fics featuring non/dub con are NOT supposed to be cutesy or romantic. they’re supposed to be gross. that’s me looking at you and saying “isn’t that so fucked up? isn’t that wild? isn’t this guy such a gross piece of shit?”

Black Christmas (1974) once said: “If this movie doesn’t make your skin crawl, it’s on too tight.”

If my fics don’t make your skin crawl, it’s on too tight! this is a space where you can come and be gross and yucky and then return to your normal daily life unaffected, because i expect that everyone reading my fics is old and mature enough to understand that you are not supposed to sympathize with the aggressors, you are supposed to see them as the nasty swamp creatures they are. and if i find that they arent, then that’s what the block button is for!

this is a space where we can ask “hey, wouldn’t it be fucked up if x happened?” and have that question answered in an equally fucked up manner, because there’s an inherent understanding that everything that happens in those fics is, in fact, fucked up.

i hope this answers your question, anon.

#i’ve got mail!#fanfic writing #dark fic #serious #important

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blueberrypancakesworld · 1 year

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The second day

warning : Minors don't interact please this is really not for you. This is a dark fanfiction the whole thing is Dead Dove : Do not eat content , Mental Instability , blood & violence , kidnapping , sexual assault , rape , threesome , blood kink , obsession , unjury , Predator/prey , Angst , smut , Jealousy , dark themes , sexual fantasy , knife play , just the normal hardcore Slasher things

Again please if you can't or don't want to read this content please don't. The whole thing is just dark and not for kids. Last warning

Chapter Summary : Trapped in the Asylum you have to deal with old friends as well as sins and truths from the past. If there are not 10 murderers but eleven, this does not bode well. Especially not if the eleventh is an alien with red hair and a search for fear.

next chapter , masterlist

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I knew that as soon as I would wake up, they would fall upon me. Whether all or one after the other no longer mattered. I had my dream loneliness in my dream even if this was no longer mine.

The darkness was broken and replaced by an elementary school. Not again I thought as I recognized the school. I knew that Freddy would not let me have a nice dream. But that it would happen so quickly worried me. He's probably mad that he was interrupted by Eddie. He's coming to finish what he started. Slowly and uncertainly, I walked toward the school. I knew I had no chance against the dream demon himself. Sighing, I walked into the school and saw children, children who looked horribly disfigured. Torn clothes, chopped off limbs, eyeless holes in their heads and a seemingly endless rain of ash. I did not want but something pulled me into the basement. Something I knew that if I didn't go, violence would come. On the way there I was looked at by the sad eyes of the children. ,,Please, Miss, you can't leave him alone with me. He will do it again behind closed doors, please don't" the children begged me.

With guilt inside, I left them behind and went down the stairs to the cellar. The basement that opened up to me was different from what I remembered. I knew for sure that it was actually brick walls and not hot pipes with steam coming out of them. There it was again a sound of metal. Which caused sparks and a dark dirty perverted laugh.

,,My little Y/N, at last you're here again. I've missed you, I've missed our playtime together" she heard the man murmur in her ear. Before a surprisingly cool tongue was passed over my neck. Followed by a presence that radiated heat in contrast. ,,Leave it Freddy, I want a quiet dream please" I tried to convince him. He wrinkled his forehead as he was in his human form and actually succeeded. ,,But why? Your dreams and nightmares were all so...so incredibly exciting," he purred, coming towards me with his bladed glove. I knew it, of course every child knew it in Springwood. I knew it too, even though I had only spent my teenage years in the city.

Before my parents moved away with me, but the dreams never left me. I knew that if he caught me and if he intended to kill me, it would be my turn. Then my lifeless body would die on the old, filthy, angular bed and they would probably get rid of my corpse. I shook off the horrible thought and ran on. ,,Oh, I see we are playing catch. Let me add more little ungrateful children who didn't listen to Uncle Freddy," I heard his angry voice. That was a problem Freddy, like most of my killers, had two sides. On the one hand, he could just be a pervert and enjoyed making his victims insecure and careless. On the other hand, when he was aggressive, he was so much more dangerous. You can still barely humiliate him and he kills you in cold blood within seconds. And then you would be his.

I ran and ran but when I bumped into two people I staggered slightly. When I blinked and saw who was standing there, tears of joy and vomit of disgust came up. There stood Quentin and Nancy, two children I knew well. I had met both of them in elementary school where I had worked as a chaperone for the children. Then we saw each other again in school I was two years above them. There was something between the three of us that I don't want to deny.

Even though we hadn't slept together, we were kind of soul mates. Quentin loved Nancy and I loved them both. It was relatively complicated. But now, as my two friends and former lovers stood before me, my heart was torn. ,,He got you, didn't he? I'm sorry, I should have been there, I should have," I tried to apologize to both of them. Qentin's eyes were darker than before and blood was running from his nose, which wouldn't stop flowing and wetting his shirt. Nancy also looked at me with dark eyes.

She was wearing a dress and had several cuts and scratches on her body. That's how they died, went through the girl's head. ,,Yes, he did, we thought we could defeat him. For a moment everything was fine. But in reality, we never went home. Nancy never woke up from her artificially induced dream. And I -" Quentin interrupted himself briefly and smiled bitterly. ,,I could not do anything, the adrenaline had not worked as it should. Nancy managed to bring Freddy back to our real world, but Freddy made her have another sleep attack. Then it was time I thought I could kill Freddy and save Nancy but it wasn't so I...Nancy". He finished his sentence and let Nancy talk. Quentin lowered his head and looked down traumatized and on the verge of a seizure. The girl who had once been so full of eagerness and hope and strength was only a shell. ,,He thought, we thought if Quentin would defeat Freddy we would be free, free from the nightmares. But it did not happe

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Looking back at Quentin and Freddy

,,Nancy, for God's sake, wake up, please," the teeanger shouted at his girlfriend.

But she remained motionless on the old, angular and stuffy mattress. He was already sick of the pictures, those damn pictures they had found brought the vomit back down his throat.

He already had the broken piece of the paper cutting machine in his hand. Nervously, he twitched every now and then and tapped his foot on the floor.

Only when the watch on his wrist beeped did his mood change to desperate. He ruffled his hair and cursed. I have to do it he reminded himself in his head and pulled out the syringe with the adrenaline.

,,Please Nancy wake up!" he yelled at her one last time before jamming the syringe into her chest. Tearing her eyes open, the girl jumped up. She said nothing and the second she brought Freddy into the real world passed. Quentin saw the grateful, loving and determined expression before she closed her eyes in exhaustion. The teenager saw the momentary confusion and curiosity in Freddy. Almost uncertainly, the demon looked around and even seemed pleased.

When his dark eyes moved from Nancy to Quentin, the boy swallowed. ,,Oh my sweet little Quentin. You really thought you were safe in your world?" he said in an amused tone and laughed lightly.

,,You two are still just children". Quentin automatically took a step back out of fear, out of his experiences. The blade trembled in his hand and suddenly the teenager felt as if it was all just a bad dream. ,,Oh, believe me, if you think this dream is bad, wait and see," he heard Freddy say through his heightened heartbeat. When Quentin's eyes flew to Nancy and quickly back to the demon, he was gone. ,,What the!" but he had not been paying attention. That one second was enough for the Demon to get into Quentin's head.

But everything remained the same for the teenager, everything in front of him remained the same. Unsure of what was going on, he approached Nancy and began to shake the girl awake. ,,Nancy, come on, wake up, we need to get out of here, come on," the boy was cut off as someone choked him. ,,I'm your girlfriend from now on". With that, Freddy emerged from Nancy and lifted the kicking teenager up.

With a force Quentin would not have expected, Freddy threw the teenager onto another mattress on the floor. Dazed by both the impact and his condition, Quentin had no chance to escape. He tried to scramble away but when he felt something wet on the mattress he panicked.

Confused, he tried to get free, but shock was written in his eyes when he heard Freddy's voice. ,,No, no please," it dawned on Quentin what the demon was up to. ,,Oh, my poor Quentin. You have always overreached yourself. But you know, I've learned a few things too," Freddy said, bending down to Quentin. The teenager was held by bloodied hands. ,,You know, it's true that Nancy was my favorite, always so happy to play with me. But you oh you wanted more. No attention from daddy and no mother. But you needed something, someone to tell you that you were worth something. And oh my how you begged me to love you" Freddy purred as he ran his blades over Quentin's cheek. The boy felt himself starting to hyperventilate, everything inside him was screaming, screaming for the nightmare to end. ,,But now, now you can feel loved again my Quentin."

The lifeless body of the boy lay abused on the mattress. Cuts, cracks, bites, scratches, bruises and pieces of skin were visible next to and on the body. The former lively eyes were dull and you could see that the boy had cried. The clothes he once wore hung loosely on his naked form. A sad sight. ,,Q-Quentin?" Nancy was heard to say faintly as she slowly woke up. Her vision was slightly blurred, so she couldn't quite make out the abused form. It was only when she fell out of bed and crawled towards Quentin that she saw what had happened to her friend. Bile and an acrid smell instantly filled the room as the girl threw up.

With tears and sobs she turned away from Quentin and heaved herself back as far as she could. ,,Little Nancy, now I have you to myself. We're going to have a lot of fun for a long time" was the last thing she heard before her worst nightmare began.

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By the time the two had finished talking I had had to sit down more than once. And more than once I had to throw up, it was indescribably cruel. ,,Are you suffering now? Does he hurt you?" I asked carefully and stood up again.

They shook their heads, No, not all the time, sometimes when he's sick, but not like this anymore. We are more prisoners than prey. I was about to start again when the two seemed to feel something. ,,Y/N ru-" I saw Quentin say before the two disappeared in a torrent of blood. ,,Oh shit!" I continued to run again through the factory-like terrain. ,,They told you, didn't they? Oh, how they had both screamed and pleaded. That puts you in the mood, don't you think, my sweet little Y/n?" I heard Freddy's voice before he sat up in blood in front of me. I backed away and thought I had room to maneuver, but I had forgotten about Freddy's powers. In the middle of the wall I automatically fell onto the bed due to the edge of it.

Images of my imagination flashed and panic seized me. ,,No, I beg you, if you do that then - then the others will kill you. If you want to marry me you will have to wait until the wedding" I tried to intimidate him.

Freddy stopped in surprise before a grin revealed his pointed teeth and he burst out laughing. ,,Oh my innocent little Y/n. You want to be innocent, you forget that according to the church you have to be a virgin. Oh, and you know as well as I do that you haven't been for a long time. I admit I was guilty of it too but it was your lust in your years of discovery you seduced yourself. Believe me I know what was deep at night in your room that drove your fingers inside you slowly and deeply to fill that void because you knew you could not. I still remember how you begged-.".

,,Shut up, shut the fuck up, fuck you. Everything is your fault, it's your fault you ruined me!" I yelled at him. Again he grinned and moved towards me. ,,You know your mouth says no, but the clenching of your thighs says something else" he chuckled and slowly drove towards me with his blades. I had not noticed, had I really pressed my thighs together? Sick you are sick I heard myself and despair arose in me. I tried to crawl away but those red bloody hands would not let me go.

I squinted my eyes and hoped he would finally start so it could be done faster.I felt the breath of air as he ran his blade over me. ,,This is going to be bloody," he purred, and I could feel his presence right above me. But when I opened my eyes, he had stopped. Shocked and relieved, I looked at him. He seemed to hear something, but I only heard my heartbeat, which was going much too fast.

The grin on his face disappeared and was replaced by an angry one. ,,You, you disgusting spawn of the universe, she is mine here. You can't have her. You should be thankful for the last six or have you already broken her so much that it's boring?" Freddy snapped at someone in particular. All of a sudden Freddy was gone, dissolved in blood.

At that moment I woke up with a deep breath. My chest rose and fell from the experiences in my dream. I wanted to get up but the jingling of the chain reminded me that this was hardly possible. But when I tried to get up, the chain was longer. Filled with hope, I quietly and slowly got out of bed. The tiles were cold on my feet and I got goose bumps.

I walked carefully and after several times I guess I got into almost every corner of the room. ,,Not much, but it's always better than on the bed," I said to myself. I had light only through the oil lamp on the emergency wooden bedside cabinet. It did not light all the corners of the room and made my shadow flicker. I heard a kind of scratching or crawling in the room. My pulse quickened, Calm down, it's not dark. None of the killers are here, everything will be fine I tried to convince myself that everything was fine. But my body betrayed me, my primal instincts betrayed me. I flinched at every possible threat in the dark. I was about to move to the lamp when I heard a ringing.

Confused and even more frightened, I fell into an involuntary stare. I stared into the darkness as a creature ran from there towards me. When I recognized it, I cried out in fear and closed my eyes. Before I knelt down as I did when I was a child and hoped it would not see me. As I squinted my eyes and my whole body was tense, I did not notice the figure in front of me. ,,Oh, what, you don't like clowns?" it giggled and I felt it lurking over me. I was so stupid, if I hadn't opened my eyes then, it might not have gotten worse. When I saw the figure in front of me I felt dizzy for a moment before I really looked at it. It was a clown but something was coming from him, something that told me that under the make-up was not a human being. He had orange hair that seemed tousled and somehow not. His whole body as far as she could see was white like clown makeup. He wore an old clown costume with three red pom-poms that probably held it together.

But what fascinated her were those eyes that initially had a light sky blue tone. However to a beguiling golden shimmer became as she looked at him longer. ,,Oh but human thing you like clowns don't you?" it said and looked curiously into her eyes. I desperately went through everything in my head to find every murderer I could think of. But I knew I wouldn't find anything, I didn't know who was here before me.

My eyes fixed on his for fear he would kill me instantly if I didn't do this. ,,Wh-Who are you?" I stammered the words as my throat tightened. It tilted its head almost in disgust and looked at me attentively as if I had said something wrong. ,,I am Pennywise the dancing clown and you are my human, frightened and extremely well judging being". I however pressed myself only more against the wall behind me. ,,I am Y/n," I answered back curtly. ,,Why does prey need a name?" he thought and had probably overlooked that he thought aloud. At the hand of my disturbed look he grinned. ,,But with something like you, I can make an exception. There will be nothing else but you for a long time. I am not allowed to touch you, they said, but a small drop is not enough"

I didn't understand what he meant and when I wanted to ask, it was too late. Within seconds his mouth had turned into a risky mouth and his gloved hands turned into claws. Out of pure fear I cried out which became a bigger one when I felt a pain. Suddenly the door to the room flew open and my ten tormentors came rushing in. Like a wild, crazed animal, Pennywise turned to face his tormentors. For a brief moment I thought that was it and the clown in front of me was going to chop up and kill everything and everyone in the room.

But instead he turned back to me in his normal form. He opened his mouth slightly and a long tongue covered with viscous saliva licked over the cut on my shoulder. ,,Sweet oh so sweet with fear I need more, I will get more human Y/N" it purred before standing up and disappearing into the shadows of the room. ,,Oh my darling, my darling, what did this brutal creature do to you, you're bleeding. Come on, we'll take care of you and then you can lie down again," I heard Eddie's worried shouts. I was aware of him lifting me up and I could feel the muscles under his old shirt.

We walked out of my room through the halls before I was set down in a hospital wing. It was only then that I realized that besides Eddie, Micheal and Jason had also gone with me. I cramped up again in the cool metal chair as Eddie arrived with more first aid supplies than I could handle. I stiffened even more, hating doctors and everything medical about them, my irrational fear of them. Eddie must have seen my suffering expression. ,,Oh, no, honey. Everything will be fine, this clown won't hurt you again. But you have to be brave for a minute, it's going to sting a little," he said, actually trying to appear trusting. When the alcohol touched the cut I hissed and suppressed further sounds. ,,You're doing a good job, sweetie," I heard Eddie say. But these very words in this tone as he said it caused something completely different. And I hated myself for it only more

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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hussyknee · 4 months

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I think I'm so fixated on Imriel's Trilogy because it would be such a great story if it wasn't the author writing it. Which is exactly my brand.

Jacqueline Carey is the most white woman to ever white woman good Christ. I know she apologized for not having any trans characters in Kushiel's Legacy even though it's an LGBT story because nobody knew what the T stood for in the 2000s. But if not for that, she's who I would pick to have gone fully radfem conservative liberal JKR. Not least because you can tell at what point she thought she was too good for an editor (halfway through the first Imriel book). All three books are at least one third longer than they have to be. The tortured fake medieval speak in making my eyes bleed. Did they kill the editors in the publishing house? Put them out to pasture to graze with JKR's? I keep wanting so badly to at least beta read this. The writing's engaging, even if the plots are a bit slipshod, but dear God it would be so easy to make this a bit more readable.

And then there is the narrative. Carey seems to think women are exceptionally sensible soft-hearted unicorn species (when they aren't scheming badass girlboss villains). She's indistinguishable from some benevolently sexist old Victorian guy. Rape only happens to women and children. For men, being sexually assaulted is a good nudge nudge wink wink joke. And the white ethnosupremacy! Girl, an idealised white Tolkien race that's better and more beautiful and progressive than everyone else, most of whom grow more and more misogynistic and barbaric the further away, is still white supremacy even when in it's alternate universe medieval France. Also, beauty standards aren't universal across borders and cultures, especially in the medieval world. How do you put this much thought into an alternate history and complex belief systems and not even consider what it means to have different cultures and ethnicities? You don't get cookies for allowing your Legolas race of people marry into indigenous Celts and Picts when you keep rhapsodizing about how much prettier and more civilized D'Angelines are! And what the fuck is up with this obsession with blood relations?? Why do you need to have your protagonists halfway in love with their adoptive parents (I overlooked it once because of extenuating circumstances but jeez), why do you need to make the adoptive parents have to qualify their claims in the middle of being a parent ("He is my son....at least in my heart") and why do you keep insisting blood connections equate to stronger bonds ("Alais may be the sister of my heart, but Sidonie is her flesh and blood." "She's my blood! Why do you think I tried so hard to protect her from you?") when the whole premise of the series is a ruling family fucking each other over for the throne?

I will say that Sidone finally seems like a real person and she's pretty great, but Imriel's own personality has faded so much to let her shine that sometimes it's like it's just some guy narrating the book. Imriel's intensity and guilt and charm and cunning have all just vanished in the third book. He's just there to weep and gnash his teeth at losing Sidone, tear at his hair about Sidonie being in danger, gaze adoringly at her and being her bodyguard. It's like watching the later seasons of a CW show. Everything is about the badass trophy girlfriend who's always right about everything. Sidonie isn't as obnoxious but good God it's like she's the only real person in this book. Kratos is literally just there to gape at her. (URIST PLEASE COME BACK YOU WERE MY FAVOURITE.) Complete waste of characters who've been so compelling and engaging all this time.

In short, this a goddamn mess. Why do the most privileged, insipid white people get the most opportunity to sell their stories?

I'm going to assume that Phedre's Trilogy is actually good though. I stopped halfway down the first book because I was too shocked and sad when my faves died and picked up the Imriel sequels instead so that I'd already know the basics of what happened in the original. (I literally read the Wikipedia plot synopsis while in the movie theater before it starts so that I'm not surprised by anything. My ex boyfriend once threw a surprise party for me and I nearly broke up with him. I'm too emotionally dysregulated for surprises.) But what I read was really, genuinely good. I skimmed the other two and they also seemed as good. So I'm hoping that whatever youthful talent Carey possessed before bloated egoism brought her down lives up to its promise. Plus I just really love Phedre. Scheming little bitch she is. She's lost all her spice and teeth and self-absorption in Imriel's books, but she's mostly there to be his mother that everyone has a crush on, including him, so it didn't matter. Imriel doesn't have an Oedipal complex, but he always gives the impression that he might if he let himself think about it too hard.

Edit: no but seriously. Why the fuck does this last book read like a bad ghostwriter wrote it??

#you got your wish batty. i'm reading complete trash by an unhinged white woman despite my best efforts #kushiel's legacy #kushiel's mercy #imriel no montreve de la courcel #sidonie de la courcel #phedre no delaunay de montreve #tropes #white feminism #tw rape mention #anti radfem #sexism #white women #racism #white supremacy #high fantasy #knee of huss

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patricia-von-arundel · 1 year

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It's Friday the 13th! Here's a list of 13 of my favorite scary books.

(If you have any particular triggers you're concerned about, feel free to send me a message about any of these! Please do not risk putting yourself in a bad place! I never mind giving a heads up on this kind of thing.)

General trigger warnings: sexual content, pedophilia, rape/sexual assault, extreme violence, deaths of children, deaths of animals, physical abuse, pregnancy, gore.

1. Let's deal with the reigning monarch first - Stephen King. I'll just let him have one entry for several books, since the guy has written 18 million.

1a. It. I read It, and then immediately read it again, for the first time when I was 12 years old. I carried the book around like a Bible. Not only is it truly scary as hell (the history, the deaths of Edward Corcoran and Patrick Hockstetter, and overall the idea that some things, no matter how far you run, you cannot escape - only try desperately, again, to destroy), it also has some of King's most solid characters, and an ending that isn't a total crap-out. He couldn't write great female characters then or now, but Beverly is far from his worst. And there is that scene near the end, but it's brief and easy enough to skip. 1,200 pages of story managed to work when I was a kid, and they still work now, even looking at the whole differently.

1b. Any of King's short story anthologies. I'd say my favorites are Night Shift, Nightmares and Dreamscapes, and Everything's Eventual, but they're all pretty great. The guy really shines in short form. And I dare you to read "The Jaunt" and not feel at least a little freaked out at the end.

1c. Different Seasons - the stories are far less supernatural, and it works. The four novellas are all tight, and all very different. Apt Pupil is one of the creepiest things I've ever read, and there's nary a ghost or beastie to be found.

1d. Christine, Pet Sematary, Salem's Lot, Desperation/The Regulators - the opposite of the above. These are pure supernatural terror, and a hell of a lot of fun. If Different Seasons is the drama looking for award nominations, these are the slasher flicks you watch with your friends while screaming at the characters and tossing popcorn at the screen. (Cujo's another one, but since it's rabies, it's a little more real-world.)

2. Let the Right One In, John Ajvide Lindqvist - an absolutely terrifying book where the scariest thing is not the vampire. Oscar and Eli are one of the sweetest platonic love stories I've ever read, and the bad guys absolutely get what's coming to them. It's a bleak look at suburban childhood - and desperation for something more.

3. In the Miso Soup, Ryu Murakami - this book sets you up for an uncomfortable time, and only gets worse. Short, tight, and terrifying. Murakami is more well-known for Audition, but I found this one far more disturbing. His stuff generally is not for those with sensitive stomachs.

4. Battle Royale, Koushon Takami - the movie is good. The book is better. Once you get past the slightly rocky translation, this one's going to have your adrenaline going from the very beginning. There's not going to be any Hunger Games-esque changing of rules: of 42 students, only one can survive. (I do not recommend the manga. It's mostly torture porn - sometimes literally. It's more disgusting than frightening, and while that doesn't automatically make me dislike a book - see just above this one! - I felt here that it was an unnecessary addition that actually draws away from the horror of kids forced to kill one another in favor of shock value.)

5. Ghost Story, Peter Straub - if there's ever been a horror writer who could easily have made the jump to awards-winning literary fiction, it was probably Peter Straub. Don't expect easy answers or easier scares here. Ghost Story is a very, very slow burn, where even as answers start to appear, so does a creeping fear you never even noticed until it already has you in its grip.

6. The Ritual, Adam Nevill - okay, I'm one of those who doesn't like the weird stuff that pops up near the end (you'll know it if you get to it), but the first 2/3 of the book? Holy shit, good luck turning the lights off before bed. It's rare that a book terrifies me. This one did. In the best way. Too bad about that last bit, which I mostly find ridiculous. 🤷‍♀️

7. The Passage, Justin Cronin - another contender for being closer to literary fiction with a veneer of scare. The first part is tighter than the end (and this is only the first part of a trilogy), but the whole is excellent, and the level of character development is as deep as any I've found in horror. When you feel sorrow and kinship even for the monsters (both human and otherwise), you're in good hands. Or bad ones, I suppose! I've read this one, like It, several times despite the extreme length, and it's always a ride.

8. Books of Blood, Clive Barker - short stories from a guy who not only never pulls punches, he'll start hitting harder just when you think you've gotten used to the pain. It has a story called "Midnight Meat Train," for god's sake! Just give it a go. This is pure horror, and you'll find both hardcore splatter and intelligent presentation.

9. The Final Girls Support Group, Grady Hendrix - a lot of fans of Hendrix actually dislike this one, but I found it a ton of fun, even if I also wanted to smack basically all the characters. 😅 It's just dumb fun jumping off of the same dumb fun as the movies that gave us the concept of final girls. If you ever wondered how Laurie or Nancy did after the end of their endless franchises, give this one a go. (If those names mean nothing to you, try Horrorstör instead!)

10. 20th Century Ghosts/Full Throttle/Strange Weather, Joe Hill - like his rather well-known dad, Joe Hill (legally Mr. Joseph Hillstrom King) has the horror gene, and it manifests best in his shorter work. His novels are good, but his quick-punch short stories and novellas are better. (Bonus points that in one story in Strange Weather, his main character is a butch lesbian, and while he clearly tries hard, it's... well. Let's say "a valiant attempt.") If you saw The Black Phone, it's based on one of his stories. (I hear Locke and Key, his comic series, is also amazing, but I haven't read it.)

11. Swan Song, Robert McCammon - Robert McCammon has never gotten much attention outside of horror circles, and I genuinely don't know why! Like Peter Straub and Justin Cronin, McCammon's stuff is more akin to literary fiction than "paperbacks from hell." This one is a take on apocalypse, and it does it amazingly. Many people cite The Stand as one of their favorite Stephen King novels, but I think McCammon did the same idea much, much better. Give it a go! His other books are excellent, too.

12. The Book of Accidents, Chuck Wendig - I went into this one blind, and loved it. It was creepy, the characters are interesting, and it honestly presented twists I never saw coming. Many Wendig fans say Wanderers (and its recent sequel) are better, but I haven't read them yet. They're on my list for this year!

13. The Gone series, Michael Grant (6 volumes, with another 3 in a sequel series) - these are YA, but they hit like a truck. What begins as a veneer of weirdness just gets crazier, bloodier, and darker. It's a quick read, and I swear, once I got past what initially seems like a snooze-fest main character and "meh" plot in the first book, I didn't put them down until I'd finished them all. These books are dark. Grant is also excellent at writing characters often reduced to stereotypes in horror (including female and LGBT+ characters). (As an aside, he [uncredited] helped write the Animorphs books with his wife, so if you liked those, you'll probably enjoy the equally well-developed-but-hard-hitting material in Gone. He and Katherine Applegate are also the parents of a transgender woman that they have fully accepted as a daughter instead of a son, and are vocal advocates of trans rights, as well as the Black Lives Matter movement. Solid people I very much admire!)

Thirteen seems the appropriate number to end on, but if you're looking for more, a few additional names you might seek out: Natsuo Kirino, Scott Thomas, Dan Simmons, Stephen Graham Jones, Nick Cutter*, Otsuichi, Poppy Z. Brite*, Ronald Malfi, Jason Pargin, Shaun Hutson*, Lee Mountford*, Jack Ketchum*, John Saul, Kelly Link, Ramsey Campbell, Alma Katsu, Katherine Dunn, Lee Mandelo, Paul Tremblay, Gretchen Felker-Martin*, Shirley Jackson, Max Brooks, Graham Masterton, Jeff Strand, Lisa Tuttle, Tim Lebbon, James Herbert, Josh Malerman, Catriona Ward, Richard Chizmar, Kealan Patrick Burke, Brian James Freeman, Bentley Little, Simon Clark, William Peter Blatty, Norman Partridge. Also check out the publications of Cemetery Dance and Valancourt Books!

*Extreme content warning

I will not and will never insult your intelligence by recommending Dean Koontz.

Happy chills! 😁

(And if you ever want personalized recommendations based on what scares you - or not! - drop me a message!)

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hjellacott · 2 years

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I believe

— WOMEN.

Women have had to fights for their human rights from the very beginning, blamed for the sins of humankind since Adam and Eve, and after so many decades fighting hard for their rights, getting arrested, mocked, injured and killed, all we have achieved is a semi-equality to men. On paper, often, things look fairly equal, but are they in reality? not half the time, to put it mildly.

Women have always been harassed, mocked and attacked purely for sex-based reasons. We’ve received sexual harassment, sexual assault, sexual violence of all kinds, and been murdered for sexual reason. Because of our sex, we were traditionally supposed to, and expected to, be ovens for babies. Men back in the day, and still today in many cultures, only married us so that they could legally sort of “own” us and do what they wanted with us, because in many cases upon marriage women had to ask their husbands permission for everything, including getting a bank account. I’m not listing my sources, but just open a history book (for once). This was still the reality in many [now considered very civilised and progressive countries] such as the US, Spain or the UK until less than hundred years ago, which is fairly recent. And it is still the reality in many cultures, specially in certain religions, sects... the whole reason why marriage even started in these societies was so that while society pretended to be elegant and sophisticated, men would be able to privately abuse a woman in any way they wanted, with all her rights depending on him, transforming her into a baby-making machine to keep her husband’s family name in history, a chef, a cleaner, a caretaker of her husband. You just have to read Dickens to understand the kind of world women were in so little ago. But even today, there are clear signs of women still being in huge inferiority and disadvantage, like the fact that in a huge number of countries, women are expected, if not forced, to change their names to have their husband’s surname upon marriage, not just that, but their children aren’t supposed to have their mother’s surname at all. There are few exceptions to this, such as it happens in Spain.

And it’s all justified in biology and sex. Biology says women are physically less strong than men (mostly because we truly have to work twice as hard to get half the muscles of a man, and develop them more slowly), so because of this, we’re seen as fragile little dolls, damsels in distress, even though we’re strong and tough enough to give birth, instead of crumbling like men when you accidentally slap them in the balls. Because of our somewhat physical inferiority (men are also most of the time bigger than us, stronger, etc, with exceptions of course), we’re placed in a more physically vulnerable position, and thus, we don’t walk around the street feeling safe and great. We know men have a big sexual appetite, centuries of embedded genetic memory of being our owners, our superiors, and thus, as history’s proven over and over again and as we see on the news constantly, men keep attacking us purely on sex-based reasons. We’re the main victims of rape, assault and murder because of our sex, purely because of it. I’m not saying it’s our fault (it isn’t). What I’m saying is that if we had a different sex, these predators wouldn’t even see the point on attacking us.

We make less money, get promoted later, have to work twice as hard to achieve the same rewards in the same job, have to “earn” our place in your jobs, prove all the time that we’re not some brainless, fragile dolls incapable of doing a proper job at anything, prove the most sexist of men wrong all of the time. All because of some ideas men have of what it means to have the female sex. The same ideas that have created sex-based insults such as bitch, sissy or whore.

So of course it’s only logical that to sex-based problems, we find sex-based solutions. We’ve come up with a separate sex-based sports category, women, that acknowledges our physical disadvantages, but we also have mixed-sex sports so that we can win things against men in spite of our biological disadvantages. It’s very satisfactory. We have sex-segregated schools, prisons, all kinds of spaces. And that’s historically helped. Women feel safer, women get attacked and assaulted less and women are happier when they get to enjoy a space for themselves that no one else has a place in. Sex-based spaces for sex-based problems. It works. And that’s why we can’t lose them and we need to protect them like hell.

Sex-based spaces are not a way to exclude anyone or kick anyone out. They are ways to focus on an specific type of people. Think of schools for the blind, think of universities, think of sports’ clubs. Spaces designed to attend the every need of an specific type of person, so that they can be at home 100%. Women’s spaces are spaces where women can focus in their reality and their problems. Fight for their rights, learn about their sexual and biological health, feel safe, talk with other women and share thoughts, ideas and understanding about the reality of being a woman in today’s world. Much like men enjoy their gentlemen’s clubs and things alike. Because sex-based spaces weren’t a woman’s idea. Women weren’t the first to come up with them. They copied it from men.

— MEN.

Men can only be one of two things. They’re either allies, or they contribute to the problem of sexism. But because I’ve heard some insane ideas about men in the most radical feminist places, I want to make it clear. I do think the idea that men are inherently evil is wrong. I don’t fight violence with violence. I don’t think I’ll earn anything from demeaning, insulting and being violent towards a man. I won’t stoop to a low level like that.

The truth is predators exist in both women and men. Yes, the majority are men, but not the only ones. I know in my personal life cases of men I know are great people, and have been victims of fake sexual assault accusations that I know for very specific reasons and facts they’re innocent of. It happens.

But the thing is, men have buried their own hole in the ground. If they hadn’t abused their biological superiority for decades, if they hadn’t turned a blind eye to other men knowing that they were doing to their women, if they hadn’t sometimes even educated boys to behave in such abusive way towards women and if they hadn’t been complicit to the abuse, now the majority of abusers wouldn’t be men, and therefore, one wouldn’t automatically presume it’s a man’s fault if a woman get’s sexually assaulted, or that the man is automatically guilty the second a woman accuses him of anything. Men have done it to themselves.

You know what else men have done to themselves? they’ve given themselves horrible mental health issues that every year get worse. Because of the accumulation of decades and decades of men telling boys not to cry, not to dance, not to be “girly”, not to be artistic, not to be affectionate, not to be emotional or not to talk feelings, now, as genetics happen to have memory and engrave decades of behaviour into their DNA, they’re emotionally stupid, damaged, and suffering from their own rules. There are less men in the arts than in any other field. Less male ballet dancers, for example. Men were so clever that they created a bunch of sex-based privileges for themselves and then a bunch of sex-based limitations and “forbidden things” for themselves. And now they realise they fucked up. They want a lot of the things women have. They want part of the equality, enough to get the few benefits, but none of the disadvantages like a lesser salary. You don’t have to think hard to understand where drag queens come from. And by the way? they’re a mockery of women.

It’s a weird paradox then that men are both guilty of the sexism they’ve caused, and also victims of it. Not the main victims, that’s women, but still. All the pressures they feel for being men? to care for their families, to be tough, to be providers? guess who put them there? men!

Feminism doesn’t exist to protect men. It exists to give women better life, better rights, more equality. It exists to fight for women. But much like an umbrella exists to protect you from the rain and then it also happens to protect you from the wind or the sun, feminism just so happens to be good for men too. Because turns out, only conservative, white old men like sexism and misogyny. The average men and the grand majority of women hate them, for different reasons, just about the same.

And speaking of sex-based problems and sex-based solutions? sexual education would help a lot. We could be raising boys and girls to be allies, friends, to respect each other, to see each other as what they are, members of one same species that should be caring about each other and legal equality between them. We can keep tackling sexual violence by teaching women to go around the streets armed, which works for conservative, sexist, misogynistic men because then when a woman accidentally kills a man, they can make her the enemy, or we can, better, teach men to have some fucking respect and stop predating.

— SEX-BASED STEREOTYPES.

Unpopular opinion: they can be bloody useful.

I remember becoming an auntie (youngest in the fam) and not knowing what the hell to gift my nephews and nieces as they turned birthdays, and sex-based stereotypes gave me a hand. Because my nephews happened to adore sports, and my nieces, happened to adore dresses. We gave them other options, encouraged them to forget stereotypes, but still, as children, they prefered stereotypical things. It wasn’t until puberty that they began to separate themselves from stereotypes. Because we had always offered them the option, always told them they didn’t have to fit in any box or stereotype, always encouraged them to be their own person, once they matured and grew up that’s exactly what they did. Now my eldest niece is a badass, tough young woman on her way to becoming a doctor, but she’s not worried in the slightest about having to be a specific type of woman. She’s grown up around tough, independent, well-educated women and she knows she can be anything she wants. She doesn’t care about pleasing boys. She’s kicking arse in life and she’s taking no prisoners.

But also, now my eldest nephew has done a very unmanly (according to traditional stereotypes) thing; he’s a violinist, an opera singer, a sensitive guy, and he loves cuddles. He gets called gay on a daily basis, but does he give a fuck? no. He knows gay isn’t even an insult, half his parents’ friends are gay and he loves them. And because he was raised to eventually not give a damn about stereotypes, to be confident in his own skin and encouraged to be his own bloody self, every time someone tries to make him feel like he’s less of a man, he doesn’t even listen. And guess what? he’s still fucking sporty. He does it all, being academic, athletic, artistic and sensitive. He loves and respects women. And so I know if he ever has sons he’ll raise them so wonderfully, and that whenever he gets a girlfriend, she’ll be lucky to have a real man beside her who will never put limits in her path.

And as an aunt, I’m fucking proud of both of them and all their younger cousins, because I can see they’re going to have it better than their parents and myself did. I can see progress.

So yes, sexual stereotypes can be helpful, but eventually, before adulthood, teens need to know they’re not important, need to stop focusing on them and making it all about fitting them, and need to be encouraged to become their own wonderful selves, no matter what stereotypes say they should be.

— HOMOSEXUALS AND BISEXUALS... and the relationship to the TRANSGENDER COMMUNITY.

I’m not going to say they deserve the same rights as anyone else because it seems as obvious as to state the sun is warm. These days we shouldn’t even question it. These days, it’s a fucking fact.

I will instead say something that I don’t see talked about often, and I will say so as a woman who isn’t precisely straight. The terms homosexuality or bisexuality have the word “sex” in it. I know it seems super obvious, but a lot of people still don’t get it, so let me say it a big louder. These terms refer to sex-based orientations. And it’s not like you fucking choose them.

What happens is that eventually we all raise puberty and naturally, biologically, because we’re all born with a sex, with hormones and “born this way” as we love to say very rightfully, suddenly we realise we’re sexually mature and getting turned on. I don’t ever remember having decided “and now I’m going to find girls hot”. No. I was finding men hot already and one day I realised I was heavily into a female friend of mine. Yes, someone straight, as you do. Being gay isn’t a conscious decision. It’s a process as natural, as normal, as needing to breathe. It just happens. And there’s nothing you can ever do about it, other than to accept it and move on. Bit like when you have your period, only than less painful and it might even lead to a lot of pleasure, and I am winking here.

As any sex-based orientation, it implies that a part of our brains, in most cases (because we do have asexual beings, for example, so it doesn’t happen always to everyone, or in the same way) suddenly begins to notice other people’s sex. It’s not a conscious thing. You don’t decide boobs will turn you on, or that abs will become a sexy thing, you don’t decide to like beards, you don’t decide to like butts. It just happens.

Then we progress into puberty and we learn to know ourselves better. At some point, we have observed ourselves long enough and made sufficient deductions, analysing what’s going on when we feel horny, to know exactly what turns us on and what doesn’t. I realised I find bearded, dark-haired, curly-haired men, with light eyes and a slender figure insanely hot. I see other men and it’s like, fine, handsome, but as hot as my previous description? impossible. It took me a bit longer with women. I realised I wasn’t into women that wore a lot of make-up, into androgynous women (which is fucking ironic considering I’m not precisely very stereotypically female), or into brainless women. In fact, I realised cleverness and intelligence was, regardless of the person’s sex, a huge turn on. But sex mattered. I didn’t feel turned on by drag queens, by people who didn’t identify with either sex.

Like any of you, I can’t convince myself to feel more attracted to this or that. Like any of you, I realise attraction is not attached to finding someone beautiful, because I know dozens of stunning people I admit are works of art, and I don’t feel sexually attracted to them at all. So if I happened to just be attracted to men, I would know I wasn’t thinking less of a woman for not wanting to sleep with her. If I’m not attracted to androgynous people, I know it doesn’t mean I wish them anything bad, or that I’m against them, or that I can’t feel affection or even love towards them, because also, attraction and love? not necessarily hand-in-hand. And similarly, even though I’ve noticed a pattern of finding myself attracted to white people more frequently than I find myself attracted to black or Asian people, but I’ve also noticed I don’t think someone’s less beautiful because of their race. I worried briefly, one time, about this meaning I was a racist. And then I realised, no. I know what I like to eat and I know what I love to eat. Just because I don’t love to eat other things, it doesn’t mean I’ve got anything against them. Just that biologically, I was made with built-in preferences I cannot fight. I notice patterns of behaviour. I notice the majority of people I feel attracted to have light skin, light eyes, very dark hair, slender figures. And I noticed not all of them are people I’d even find beautiful. I never made a decision as to what I’d be attracted to, it happened, but I do make conscious decisions to keep an open mind, to find the beauty in all types of people, and to develop affection towards all of them, regardless of sexual orientation, race, or anything else. We are all human species, and we should all, always, stand for one another’s happiness and safety.

So imagine my astonishment when after how many years of oppression? people, and more often homosexuals and bisexuals, start being called out for not wanting a sexual or romantic relationship with transgender people. It’s like people have lost their royal minds, isn’t it? because there are hundreds of reasons one might reject a sexual or romantic partner. I mean just the other day I rejected someone just because he asked for my number in a rather bad moment, God forbids he happens to identify as trans (which I’ve no idea of) and accuses me of transphobia.

How do you know they said no because you’re trans? how do you know they simply weren’t into you at all? not necessarily because you’re trans, maybe just because you’re short, or have big feet, or hairy face. Maybe they’re not into beards at all and you’ve got one. Maybe it’s because of political ideas. Maybe they are heavily into rock and you’re not and it turns them off.

And even if being trans made you unattractive... how does that make someone transphobic? it’s all down to taste, a taste we didn’t choose to have. If someone supports you unconditionally, loves you, fights for your rights and freedoms... they’re not transphobic. Even if they just don’t feel like sleeping with you.

And also, since when do we need to justify saying no? since when does consent need to provide reasons? when did it become “sleep with me and if not, justify why, and if I don’t think it’s a good reason, you’re a prick mate”? since when can’t I just say I don’t want you, period, no reason?

Not to mention when this happens with the gay community, when lesbians and gays for example are called transphobic... their attraction is 200% sex-based, do you have any fucking idea what it means? no they didn’t choose for it to be like that, so they cannot help it if they look at you, and you have or appear to have a sex they just don’t find attractive at all. What, should they force themselves to feel attracted to you? should they let you rape them? like the song says, “you can’t make the heart feel something it won’t”. Harassing them and accusing them of whatever bullshit just because of their sexual orientation is a sex-based hate crime, mate. And after all those people have gone through to fight for their rights, you better have some fucking respect.

And i’m sorry if it hurts to be said no. To be rejected. I’m sorry if you’re trans and every time you get rejected you think it’s because of that and feel the need to call them transphobic because you’re so angry, hurt and bitter. But rejection is part of life. You need to be with someone who loves you wholeheartedly for exactly who you are, but also someone who finds you so bloody attractive, sexy, beautiful. Don’t ask an apple tree to give you bananas, you know what I mean? understand no one chooses who they’re attracted to, that being trans might not even be what makes you unattractive to certain people (maybe there isn’t even a reason you don’t attract them), and that gays will be gays. Go for pansexual people, they’ve got a more open field of taste. And above all, don’t place the blame on others and bullshit them because they don’t like you, because people don’t always have to like you, won’t always like you, and they’re in their perfect right to say no.

Consent is important and no means fucking no. Without justification needed.

#society #ideas #personal opinion #human rights #women's rights #feminism #women #men #thoughts #personal thoughts #lgb #transgenders #lesbian #gay #queer #bisexual

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rametarin · 3 days

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The 'man or bear' thing is deliberate shit stirring, yall.

They used to pull shit like this all the time back in the day. The ultimatum is deliberately skewed, because the entire conversation is a stupid illusion of choice. It's the sort of bullshit that gets passed along the Babby Radfem chain because it sounds clever as a meme.

The sort of radfem meme where eventually it culminates in some adult talking to them about it, and it ends with the radfem pouting and going, "I just wanted to have a convuhsayshun about important social issues. :C :C :C :C"

Because if you haven't noticed, Phase #2 has been "UH, TMI. WOMEN ARE ACTUALLY CHOOSING THE BEAR-" (allegedly) "- BECAUSE RAPE CULTURE AND PATRIARCHY."

And there it is. Boom goes the dynamite. You've been lead into a shitty, ideologically slanted conversation that has the same flavor as some ethnosupremacist trying to, "make a point," about how The Jews control everything. Just, switch out Jews for, "white people and capitalism."

The premise is that some random dude in the woods is an unknown and the woman is justified in thinking the statistical probability that she'll be beaten, killed or raped just for being a woman around a strange man, and then not believed, means they're somehow safer with the bear. That they're justified in thinking that way, allegedly, because of the consequences.

And then that absolutely stupid, pathetic "Gotcha" permutation that has come out recently, where they swell up with air and puff, "HAHA, ISN'T IT FUNNY HOW THEY NEVER EVEN TRY TO DEFEND THE MAN!? ALMOST LIKE THEY'RE TELLING ON THEMSELVES!"

There's nothing to tell. Statistically some dude in the woods isn't going to be a fucking rapist or murderer. Just, straight up facts. Statistically, that dude in the woods won't be a rapist or murderer. They exist, yes, and it's always a possibility, but just from the get-go we're taking this conversation from the perspective of a sheltered, gynocentrist perspective where a woman's safety and security is the only factor that matters, and a man's life and worth is entirely disposable.

Statistically, that dude in the woods, if a single father, is still roughly only 25% as likely to murder his own children to get out of the responsibility of taking care of them, as a single mother. And what, 40 times less likely to do it as a single father with a girlfriend, than a single mother. So take that statistic and blow it out your ass.

And a funny thing happens to rape statistics when you consider a strapon or dildo to be synonymous with rape, or list rape as violent sexual assault the equal of just using a strapon. Suddenly women take up a vast amount more of the % of rape statistics, instead of what their behavior is called being different because it doesn't involve a biological penis. Suddenly even coming on a strange WOMAN in the woods approaches the supposedly overbearing risk of STRANGE MAN.

It's a scenario deliberately cooked up from that snide gynocentrist position that puts a woman's safety and humanity many notches higher on the valid ladder than a mans. It argues that you should always listen and believe a woman when she makes accusations, always, in all circumstances, no matter how improbable, above and beyond when men accuse others (falsely or not), that women do not lie or exaggerate about rape or violence accusations, that society should automatically treat what they say as truth or they just hate women, and the expectation should be any accusation made sticks regardless of evidence or due process or trial, or society just hates women.

It creates an unreasonable expectation of security and protection that no one, especially not capital S society, can ensure. You cannot police peoples thoughts or actions proactively, you cannot indoctrinate out the desire to rape or hurt from someone that is already broken and bent on doing that, and this stupid conversation or some variation on it crops up every few years to pose these stupid questions and make foregone conclusions based on how they perceive thing.

Inevitably it tangents into the conversation about rape, where the people that whine about bears or men in the woods will makesome soapbox speech about how rape only happens, not because people are mentally broken and monstrous individually, but that rape is a societal problem. Caused, "because we live in a PATRIARCHY that says this is okay!"Offering women this ridiculous, romantic delusion to grasp onto and feed, because it gives them both an explanation they hope to be true because it offers what seems like an obvious "solution." Clearly, "men aren't being taught not to rape!" So they willingly engage in this fiction that the only reason rape happens is because those evil men allow other men to do it or nobody told them it's bad, because, "women are hated and feared in this society."

So they entertain the stupid idea the only reason rapists exist is because they, "aren't taught about consent," and then order more fucking teachers and propaganda courses to do their little songs and dances about it. Which helps about as much as high priests ordering people be sacrificed to a volcano to stop an unpleasant, dangerous natural process. It doesn't help at all, and the mental salve of trying to project a problem onto something else you can control doesn't work to resolve it, but it may give the Volcano Priesthood more power in society.

And that's what this is. The people that stand to gain by more women fearing men screaming for what sounds preferable as a reality and to have people magically fix the problem. Clearly, the solution is to "fix Men" (capital M. The platonic, abstract concept of Men. The collective demographic Men.) so they don't or can't rape. They're told "destroying the Patriarchy" will do that, so they're incentivized to share that delusion.

They genuinely appeal to women that already have suspicions and distrust of males and men and give it a rationalization on why that's okay and "the truth, actually." A whole platform and mythology on and for it, the how and why. Women eat that shit up, then they decide to treat men based on this. And those women repeat their fictions as truth to try to MAKE it normalized and true. And it's no different than when it happens to anybody else, be it forms of racism or bigotry.

The people that study this kind of shit for a living or a hobby just decided that it fits their goals if men are made open season acceptable targets for the same treatment they would consider to be prejudiced and bigoted towards any other demographic, because it suits their ideological and political needs. The same technique of social infiltration that people like the Nazis (and Soviet communists, but that's less important righjt now) used to badmouth and scapegoat the Jews for everything. Little jokey-jokes and stupid conversation openers like this stupid scenario of bear or man.

See it for what it is, and treat it like the bad faith method for results that it is. But remember it, and what it was used to do. It'll be back from the exact same people under another form in as few as 20 years.

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rrickgrrimes8 · 3 years

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hi! i was thinking if you could write an imagine of reader being rick and lori's daughter and sister to carl, rj and judith. i don't have a specific idea in mind, but just her before and after the time jump, struggling with being there when lori and carl died, and looking for rick with daryl, her relationship with her siblings and michonne, maybe maggie and hershel too (i was thinking since carl was 10 when it all started, she was 7 so now she's 17) thank you so much, and btw i loved your imagines i've read so far 💞

Being a Grimes ~ Rick Grimes x Grimes!reader

thank you so much for requesting i really enjoyed making this one. i also have a series kinda like this about Jacey Grimes which i’m currently making a book two for.

warnings: alluding to sexual assault or rape, suicide, death, gore (lemme know if i’ve missed anything off here)

sorry if there is any mistakes please tell if there is and give me feedback i’d love to here back from yall

masterlist

request guidelines

request are open

It was strange for y/n. This world would be strange for anyone really. But she was different. At only a mere 7 years old when the world went to shit she struggled as did many others. With the recent loss of her father - one she didn't entirely understand - still protruding through her heart, it was hard - so hard.

When it happened she was at daycare. The teaching assistant tried and successfully ate the teacher in front of her. She was next and was so close to being eaten until Shane rushed in. He kicked Ms Twune and grabbed y/n. Her mom sobbed at the sight of her, covered in blood and the tears smothering her daughters face. Carl was shocked too. He wanted nothing more than to protect his little sister. His dad always used to tell him that that was his duty - his job. And he hated how he had failed in this moment.

They made it to the quarry soon after. Y/n thought the group was nice - well mostly. The Dixon brothers scared her was what she told her brother or any of the children she had befriended. But she was lying. Yes, she was scared but only of Merle. He was creepy and mean to anyone he saw. Daryl was somewhat the same but he always found himself being nicer to the young child. And often kept her company when Lori and Shane went for a ‘walk’ in the woods. Glenn was another she found herself drawn to. He unlike Daryl happily invited her company. Glenn was sweet and funny. He never failed at making her laugh till she felt like she was going to pee. They were good friends which came to a fault when he had to go on runs. She’d scream and cry and refuse to let go of him because she was afraid that what happened to her father would happen to him.

That’s what happened earlier that morning. Glenn and a few others were going into Atlanta, despite her dismay. Glenn assured her he’d be fine, which she didn't believe and continued her tantrum.

“Can yer’ shut that damn baby up?” Merle spat covering his ears.

Shane shot him a threatening glare while Glenn stayed preoccupied with the distraught girl. “Hey, it's okay. I’m coming back,” He insisted holding her tightly at his hip, “I promise you, sweet girl.”

“No, b-b-but dada promise too a-a-and h-he,” She stopped herself, sobs erupting from her small body.

“I know sweet girl, I know. But I’ll be back I know I will.” Glenn placed her on the back of the RV, “I tell you what I’ll bring you back some of your favourite sweeties, huh? Would you like that?”

Giddily she nodded at his proposition, “Yes! Yes!”

“Alright, then I’ll bring back some for you, okay?” She nodded smiling cheerfully, “I love you, kid.”

“I luv you too, dumbass,” y/n giggled.

Glenn looked around cautiously hoping no one heard that “Hey sweet girl you can't say that.”

“W-what? Why?” the child began to cry again, “Y-y-you say it.”

“I know b-but its adult words okay? Not y/n words. When you're older, alright?” She nodded her head again kissing his cheeks softly and hugging him. “Thank you, sweet girl. I’ll see you soon,” He kissed the top of her head and started towards the car smiling as she shouted, “With sweeties!”

The group returned hours later bearing a new man instead of Merle. Y/n waited patiently for Glenn and the aforementioned sweets. "Gen!" She screamed happily still unable to say his name fully. The man sprinted over to her, pulling her into a much-needed cuddle after the day he had.

"It's Glenn, sweetheart," He chuckled while correcting.

"Oh sorry Gen," She wrapped her dainty arms around his neck.

"That's okay, sweet girl. I missed you."

"I missed you too," She whispered before letting out a longwinded 'ew', "You stinky, Gen."

The man smelt his shirt and nodded as the potent smell of walkers reached his nose. "I know yucky right?"

"Yucky!" Y/n buried her face in Glenn's shirt ignoring the stench and just enjoying his company. She always became clingy like this after coming home from a run. He loved it. On runs, if he ever encountered a life-threatening situation - like the one today - he always finds himself realising how much she means to him. Glenn saw her as a little sister - one almost replacing the ones that were cruely ripped from him when this began.

"How was it?" She inquired.

"Not fun, sweet girl. But I got your sweeties and a nice man helped us out. Saved us," She beamed.

"I like the good man. I'll give him two kisses when I see him. Maybe even one of my sweeties," Glenn chuckled.

"Why two kisses, y/n?"

"One for saving you. Two for bringing you hom," Glenn grinned contently and kissed her forehead.

"Its home bubs with an e on the end."

"Oh," She mumbled burying herself again.

"Oh my God," Someone muttered as they exited the van.

"Dad! Dad!" Carl screamed causing Glenn to snap his head in their direction. Carl came running towards the man, Rick, who had saved them in Atlanta. Y/n hadn't moved yet as she feared it was only a dream. That her dada wasn't really here.

"Sweet girl," He pulled her out of his neck, "Look it's your dad." The child gazed over to where her brother had run to. Sure enough, it was her dad. He held Carl as he cried, looking to Y/n wanting to hold her too.

"Dada!" She screamed jumping out of Glenn's arms dangerously. The girl scraped her knee on the way down but continued throwing herself into the hug.

"Oh, Carl! Y/n!" She kissed all over his face childishly, "I luv you, dada."

"I love you too, baby girl."

The years hadn't been kind to Y/n. She lost so much. Too much in fact that it had driven her to the depts of insanity and made her do things to herself, to others that she more than resented. The first loss was her mothers. She wasn't there like Carl was but the grief burned through her still. Y/n was too young to understand it really. Just how she was when Rick supposedly died. Y/n couldn't understand where her mom had gone she just knew she had a little sister now. One she swore to protect.

She thought she had failed that when the prison fell. The young child was on her own. Injured and lost. She wandered through the woods for days until she stumbled across a group. The group were mean and despite her resistance wouldn't let her go. They hurt her in ways she didn't and wouldn't speak of it even now. But that all changed when Daryl showed up. He protected her - stopped them from hurting her. And eventually led her back to her family. Where for the first time she began to fear her father.

Terminus was next. The people there snatched her from her family. She was forced to watch from afar as they were guided into the crate. Rick fought against them, Carl too but it was to no use. They had sectioned her off in a playroom. Every once in a while an older woman came in to fed and played with her. She hated it. Being in this world for more than a year now she knew that people like them didn't just want to play even if she did. She learnt that from the Claimers.

Carol found her. Although having never have been all that close to the older woman - the only relation being the closeness between y/n and Sophia - seeing her after so long made her cry out of joy. Carol was happy too as she rushed out of that place to take her to safety. The pair ended up in the woods. Carol had stopped a moment ago to clean the dirt from her face, "lemme help."

The girl sat up from where she was put down and cupped some water splashing it on Carol's face. Carol flinched as the water hit her, "Uh thank you."

"Welcome," She looked away getting distracted by the nearing sound of footsteps.

"Get behind me, y/n," Carol ordered to which she shook her head.

"No it dada," She ran away from the woman and towards the group.

"Y/n come back here!" Y/n continued ignoring Carols pleas and crashed herself into the back of Rick's legs.

The father shot around and began to cry as he saw the child he thought he lost at his feet. "Oh, baby!" He collected the girl in his arms. Carl rushed to them too happy to see her alive after Gareth claimed he killed her. "Oh y/n, never leave me again, okay?" He looked directly into her matching blue eyes, "Promise me."

"I promise, dada."

Later Carol led them to Judith. Y/n was over the moon and refused to let her out of her sight, which was exactly what Rick was doing too. They found the church a while after. There they had some semblance of peace. She was glad to have Glenn back - Maggie too. Along with the new people although Eugene was a bit weird.

At the church was also when the questions started. Daryl had told Rick about the group they were with and regretfully had to inform the father how she was there before him. Rick asked y/n - begged her - to tell her what happened. But she refused. She couldn't say what happened. What they did, which just made Rick fear more. Eventually, she spoke a little about it. She was vague and could barely string two words together without crying. He hated it. He hated how this was a reality for his daughter. He saw the bruises they left. And he couldn't understand how someone could touch his child. Or how he could be so powerless to stop it.

Bob died. She didn't really know the man but it still upset her. Beth too. Although she was a lot closer to her. Beth was one of her only friends and was someone who would look after her when her father couldn't. They bonded and now she was gone.

After Beth's demise, they spent lots of time on the road. They suffered, almost died countless times but they prevailed. They got stronger - she got stronger. And they eventually found Alexandria. There everything was good again like how it was at the prison or even before this hell. She liked it there and didn't understand why the others were so sceptical.

Though that didn't last for long. Y/n began to hate the place when Carl got shot. Alexandria almost stole her brother from her. So she despised it. She refused to leave her brother's side as he adjusted to his injury. Yes, he found it annoying how she wouldn't leave him be and he often snapped at her. But she was there when he needed her. Despite the age difference and the many years of memories they had lost to this fight, she understood his pain. When he saw himself as ugly, a monster even, she made him think otherwise. She kept him afloat, which he was eternally thankful for.

Glenn was next.

She didn't believe it even after she was forced to see it with her own two eyes. She was next to Glenn in the lineup. She had to watch up close. Y/n had to be mocked by that man. She had to stay the whole night with her best friends brains on her face. After that night she blamed herself. She told herself that if Negan was just one person off she would be dead and he would live. He would get to see his child born and grow old with Maggie like they had spoken about. She wholeheartedly believed he deserved to live over her.

The war with Negan shook her to the core. At the time his face filled her nightmares. He just looked so normal. He looked nice even. Yet he hurt and he hurt and he hurt.

He killed her Glenn. And then Carl. It wasn't Negans fault although she did blame him. Carl had gotten bit. Y/n held his hand as he died in that tunnel as the home they had built above them fell. She got a letter too - even though she would rather have preferred to have her brother back. In the letter, Carl told her how proud he was of her - how thankful he was to have her as a sister. He told her to protect Judith, their dad and Michonne, who she had recently begun to call momma.

After Carl's death, y/n shut herself from the world well everyone except her father. For days she would cry until she couldn't anymore. She would scream and scream until her voice was gone. She just didn't understand why it had to be Carl? Why mom? Why Glenn? Why Beth? Why was it never her? The following weeks she found herself wishing it would be her next. She could never bring herself to say it out loud but with any battle, any fight, anything, she wished it would be her.

So when she lost her father her whole world fell apart. He was her consistent so why did he leave her? She was at the bridge that day. Daryl held her crying frame as Rick set off that final shot blowing him and the walkers off the bridge. Y/n Grimes' father was dead.

She stayed in Alexandria for a while afterwards. For the sole reason to protect her siblings. Yes, siblings - plural. Somehow through all the bad some good came from it. She just wished her father and Carl could've seen it. RJ Grimes came into this world 9 months later. And he was perfect. For months she would assist in taking care of him as Michonne wasn't doing the greatest without the love of her life. Truth be told neither was y/n she was just better at hiding it.

Until one night it all became too much. Y/n didn't know how it happened but she found herself balancing on the edge of her window. She wanted to jump - to end it. But she just couldn't will herself to do it. And when Daryl showed up she knew she couldn't. "Hey step away from ta window, alrigh'," The man ordered as he saw her shaking frame rocking back and forth.

"I-i can't," She sobbed.

"Ye' ya can. Jus' step back I'll catch ya," Daryl moved closer but paused when she shouted to stop.

"I can't, Daryl. They're all gone. They're all dead," The tears clouded her eyes. She shut them tightly picturing her families faces wanting so badly to join them.

"Please jus' step back, y/n. Yer' not alone. I'm here," He croaked the tears floating down his cheeks, "Don't jump."

"I love you, Daryl."

"I love ya too, okay? So step away from the window," He watched as she turned her head slightly catching his eyes.

"I love you but I can't. Tell mom, RJ and Judy I love them as well."

Suddenly she went to fall forward but Daryl reacted quicker. He gripped her waist pulling her into the room unwilling to release his grasp. "Yer' not leaving me," He told her as she cried into his shoulder, "Yer' cant leave me." Overhearing the chaos, Michonne entered her daughter's room to see the window wide open and the two of them crying. Daryl looked at her. The look telling her all she needed to know. Michonne began to cry herself and joined them on the ground.

"Y/n?" A small voice called from the door frame.

"Judith go back to bed, okay?" Michonne told her but Judith continued towards her sister. The girl said nothing as she wiped her sister's tears and held her hand.

It was 5 years later now. After her attempt, she left Alexandria with Daryl in search of her father. She didn't believe he was alive despite everything inside her wanting to. But Daryl did and after what happened they became a lot closer. He was happy she joined him. Even though the act of being out there was gruelling at times he was glad he could look after her. And if something would've happened to her while he was gone he could never have forgiven himself. Understandably Michonne was angry that y/n decided to leave. Y/n was her daughter and Michone her mother. They needed each other but she was willing to let Y/n leave to figure that out. It brought her peace looking for her father.

The silence was her favourite and as Daryl wasn't much of a talker she got lots of it. They got a dog too, which Daryl cleverly named Dog. Everything was a messed up version of okay but it was still good. Being out there made her find her purpose. She went home a lot more than Daryl did, which pleased her siblings and mother. It was always for a few days never longer as she feared she'd stay forever and she couldn't. As much as Alexandria is good it also drives y/n to a dark place. One she was in that night. She lost so much there. And staring at those four walls drove her insane. It didn't help how Negan was imprisoned there. Just thinking how close he was made her skin crawl. She knew how Rick visited him when he was alive that he believed Carl was right about the killing. That it had to stop. Y/n knew he was right too but she could never bring herself to one admit or two face Negan.

It felt like a story she read as a child when the Whisperers showed up. Like Negan, they scared her. So when she was told about his escape she only assumed the worst. The Whisperers took so many from them. Like Enid for example. Her story was cut short because of them. The two never really spoke but she understood how she and Carl felt for each other at a time. So ultimately it felt like she lost her final piece of Carl when she died. Y/n wished she had spoken to her when she could've. She wished she could've heard the untold stories they shared. She needed to know about Carl's final years with her. But now she's gone too along with those memories.

The war with the Whisperers took everything from them. The Kingdom. Hilltop. Alexandria. Along with the lives they lost in the process. With the group separated she found herself protecting Judy and RJ. Michonne had gone. Where she had gone to, y/n had no idea. For a messed up reason, she began to prepare herself for her mother's death before it was even announced. That was until she got the call. She was okay and... apparently so was Rick.

Disbelief was what hit her first. She couldn't hear his voice nor see his face so how could she know it was true. Michonne didn't know either she couldn't if he was really there, still alive. That night of the call she left. Without hesitation, she kissed RJ and Judith's heads, told them she loved them and told them to tell everyone else that and left. She left in the direction Michonne had told her.

She left to find her father. And she knew she wouldn't return until she did. "I'm coming, dad."

#the walking dead imagine #the walking dead #the walking dead x reader #rick grimes x reader #rick grimes imagine #rick grimes x grimes!reader #carl grimes x reader #carl grimes imagine #carl grimes x grimes!reader #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon imagine #michonne x reader #michonne x daughter!reader #rick grimes #carl grimes #daryl dixon #michonne #rick grimes daughter #the walking dead request

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everything-laito · 3 years

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In theory, if Laito was human, how do you think he would have turbed out instead? Because clearly in the supernaturals they don't seek help nor is it recommended. But for humans it is clearly recommended that you sort your issues out if you want to survive in the society. Laito would sinply be almost forced to see the error of his ways plus he would most likely be accused of harrassments and/or rape (I'd actually like a very long analysis on this because I find this an interesting concept lol)

Alrighty anon! I’ll try to make it a long one. Just the length usually varies with the ask but I’ll go as in depth as I can with this one as requested!

So let’s start off with the thing I’ve mentioned quite a bit on this blog: the power dynamic between Laito and Yui/his other victims. The reason why he has so much power on top of his mind games is that he is physically stronger than Yui by a LONG shot. There’s absolutely no way (that Yui sees) that she can physically beat him. So he takes advantage of that. Most abusers in real life do the same thing too: preying on weaker people. “Weak” in this sense can be weak mentally, emotionally, physically, or having weak connections (little or no connections with others). So from that point, Laito being human would definitely be a bit of a game changer, but if he’s as smart as a human as he is a vampire, he still has a lot of tricks up his sleeve.

I wouldn’t say that not seeking help is a vampire thing. We don’t know a lot about vampire culture who aren’t nobles. All the vampires in the game are higher class vampires. Although I’ve seen some characters be like “it’s a vampire thing,” I have an inkling that most characters (except Shu of course) haven’t interacted with people who aren’t nobles. Laito says that killing for vampires is how you express love, but the only people I’ve heard say that has been Laito and Cordelia (However please please correct me if I’m wrong on this), and we know that Laito gets a lot of his “morals” from Cordelia. We really don’t know a lot about vampire society like we think we do.

Same goes for people in real life, humans. The rich lead lives that are very different from most of us. A lot is kept hush hush about celebrities and rich people, not to mention that lifestyle must be very suffocating. On top of that, we still have a stigma in our societies today that therapy/getting emotional help is “bad.” I recently heard that my roommate’s brother said he wouldn’t go to therapy cuz it’s a “liberal thing.” Like bruh. No, getting therapy is not political. But we make it a political issue for some reason, despite it being there for everyone and we should normalize it as such. On top of that, many people brush off many rich people’s emotional health issues, because “they have money.” Sure money can get you a lot of things, but having that much money or at least those very high expectations can put a lot of different emotional stresses on someone.

So I believe it would still work for Laito in that manner. He’s nobility, and this seems like old fashioned nobility too. People having mental illnesses and getting treated for them was out of the question and taboo to talk about. Not to mention having a sexual abuse scandal. So I think that Laito would be coerced into not saying anything if he had the option of getting help somehow. I’m still unsure why he stayed silent about it. I don’t think he ever said why, but I have an inkling it’s because he didn’t want Ayato or Kanato to worry about him + he didn’t know how to say what happened + he didn’t know what was happening was bad. Those are my theories though.

I don’t think he’d be able to see the error of his ways because growing up in that family, he was very isolated. People higher up are still isolated from what happens to the lower classes, or simply just don’t care about it, or it’s just normalized. A big example is sexual abuse and harassment in the workplace done by CEOs of companies. Or sexual abuse scandals involving priests. Both are in positions of higher power and use that power to abuse. It’s more of a control fetish for them, and on top of that they weren’t taught to respect other people (specifically women and children). It doesn’t seem like the diaboy families are taught that, given their backgrounds. I’ve also mentioned before that it would be very very hard for Laito to get convicted of sexual harassment and assault in real life. I answered that part of this ask here which is also a lengthy ish doozy as well. Feel free to read the whole thing, but I’ll highlight htis paragraph here:

When it comes to real life, many people in power don’t get easily called out. That’s why the #MeToo movement was so amazing, because it gave sexual abuse victims a chance to stand up for themselves against their abusers who they were silenced by. When it comes to political and powerful figures, they definitely use hush money, blackmail, or other means to not let this information get out to “taint” its brand. Or even so, when it comes to any type of abuse, abusers know how to silence a lot of their victims so they don’t talk to anyone about this through manipulation. It’s a lot more nuanced than this.

So no, I don’t believe Laito would get convicted of his crimes, even if he was a human.

Hope that was long enough for you! If you would like me to elaborate on anything else or have any questions, please let me know!

#analysis #diabolik lovers #laito sakamaki #sakamaki laito #raito sakamaki #sakamaki raito #diabolik lovers analysis #dialover #dialovers #dialovers analysis #laito sakamaki analysis #ask corn

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theparanormalperiodical · 3 years

Text

Top 10 Controversial Horror Films That Are Famous For All The Wrong Reasons *gags* *cries*

At the beating heart of horror is offence.

From that undeniable sense of something not being quite right, to the CGI-blood-spurtin’-adrenaline-fuelled scenes that leave us shaking in our boots, horror pivots on the knife edge of controversy.

It’s used to drive plots. It’s used to drive hype. And at the end of the month, it drives studio executives to the bank.

Horror films can be traumatic enough. But there are some films that bear the cross of controversy more than others. There are some films that have been branded as so damaging to their potential viewers that merely circulating copies of the film is illegal.

And yet their infamy has forged cult viewership. What was once shielded from us has now become ‘must see’.

Today we are going to be counting down horror’s most controversial films and what made them quite so topical.

*I’m going to star the ones that you can actually watch without getting traumatised. Some are controversial not because of their content but because some religious or political groups disagreed with them*

#10 - The Blair Witch Project (1999)*

Let’s ease in with a classic - a classic you can watch without sleeping with the light on.

In this found-footage flick we see a team of film students as they explore a local urban legend. But what they find leads them to unknown and ungodly territory.

The problem with this film is that it was marketed as a true story. No, not based on a true story, a true story. Yep, they claimed what we were seeing was real, found footage of some teens going mad as they forage deeper into mysterious woods.

IMBd went so far as to report that the actors were dead. Then, the movie studio super-charged their efforts to confirm to the public that not only was this film 100% real, the three main actors were still missing. The parents of the actors then started receiving sympathy cards.

There’s even a mocked up website that perpetuates these claims.

#9 - Night Of The Living Dead (1968)*

Time for another not-too-disturbing film.

This is the original zombie apocalypse film saw a group of Americans attempt to survive an incoming attack of the undead while trapped in a rural farmhouse.

But the Motion Picture Association of America wasn’t too happy about it. The film rating system was yet to be in place, allowing children to also show up for an afternoon screening and be greeted by a 97 minute montage of extreme violence.

“The kids in the audience were stunned. There was almost complete silence. The movie had stopped being delightfully scary about halfway through, and had become unexpectedly terrifying. There was a little girl across the aisle from me, maybe nine years old, who was sitting very still in her seat and crying”

#8 - Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (1986)

In this psychological film, we watch a random crime spree take place at the hands of a couple serial killers. Loosely based on real murderers Henry Lee Lucas and Ottis Toole, its controversial reputation was founded on the gore ‘n’ guts screened in the movie.

Whilst it didn’t receive much attention from the public, various classification boards across the world ensured new versions edited with certain scenes - often involving sexual assault and necrophilia - removed for viewers.

In 2003, the BBFC (the UK classification board) finally allowed the uncut version to be released and Australia followed suit in 2005.

#7 - I Spit On Your Grave (1978)

It’s the original rape-revenge flick. And it managed to piss everyone off.

Originally titled Day of the Woman, it tells the story of a fiction writer who exacts revenge on a group of four men who gang rape her.

Despite its pro-women claim-to-fame, the 30 minute rape scene begs to differ. Furious debate surrounds its feminist label as a film that forces the audience to endure rape from a female perspective and long-winded violence against men (something which is often reserved for women in horror). Regardless, the graphic violence earned it a steady ban in Ireland, Norway, Iceland, and West Germany.

#6 - Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)*

You don’t get many controversial Christmas films. They typically stick to a cookie-cutter plot ‘n’ purpose every holiday season. But there are no strong women who need to rediscover the meaning of Christmas here.

Instead, we see a child traumatised by seeing his parents murdered on Christmas Eve go on a seasonal rampage as an adult.

A week after its release in the early 80s, it was pulled from theatres due to backlash. Marketing was focused on a Santa Claus killer with adverts often airing during family-friendly TV programmes and meant numerous children developed a phobia of Father Christmas. Large crowds protested cinemas with one notable protest involving angry families singing carols at the Interboro Quad Theater in The Bronx.

It was only in 2009 - 25 years after its original release - that a DVD of the film was first made available for purchase in the UK.

#5 - Psycho (1960)*

This legendary film follows the disappearance of a young woman after her encounter with a strange man called Norman Bates, one of horror’s most iconic figures. The controversy that would engulf this fim lay not in the violent attack on an innocent woman or even the disturbing content of the film.

Oh, no. It was because of what the leading lady was wearing.

In the opening scene of the film, we see Janet Leigh wearing nothing but a bra.

*gasp*

This racy attire was emblazoned across promotional material, meeting Hitchcock’s high standards of creating controversy around the movie. There was a no late admission policy for movie theaters, and the posters told viewers “Do not reveal the surprises!” to maintain a mysterious aura around the plot twist.

#4 - The Human Centipede (2009) (all of ‘em)

I’ve watched a lot of horror films, in case you couldn’t tell.

I’m used to watching a scary movie, shaking off the anxiety, and moving on with my life. But there are some that stayed with me. I only watched the trailer for the first movie, and it legitimately traumatised me. It gave me quite a severe, sudden bout of a depression for a solid month when I was 13.

Throughout horror’s goriest franchise, we see an evil doctor and amateur mad scientist attempt to sow several people together into a centipede-like chain from mouth to anus.

*retches*

At the heart of promoting the franchise was controversy. Tom Six, the director, forced a narrative that claimed from the first film that this was "100% medically accurate". He even alleged a Dutch doctor helped inspire the film, confirming that with an IV drip, this was entirely possible.

Although it didn’t receive furore that amounted to serious censorship or long-term banning, it was infamous for having its viewers vomiting in the cinema aisles.

The second film, however, was subject to much more severe controversy and could not legally be supplied in the UK until 2011 due to its heavy focus on sexual abuse, more graphic violence than the original film, and it’s pretty vile depiction of a murderer that was intellectually disabled.

Audiences were used to the graphic nature of the franchise by the third and final release. As the least-controversial and least-enjoyable film according to critics, it barely made a dent in the horror community.

Good riddance, I guess?

#3 - Faces Of Death (1978)

I’m not sure I’d recommend this one per se - but I will give it credit for being an interesting project.

This documentary-style film is a montage of footage of people dying in different ways. As a result of its very graphic and very real content, it was banned and censored in many countries. Only in 2003 was it released on DVD in the UK after a scene was cut featuring dogs fighting and a monkey being beaten to death.

Germany, Australia, and New Zealand followed suit, reversing their bans and releasing edited versions.

However, 7 years after its release, the media revamped its interest in the film after a maths teacher showed it to his class at a Californian high school. Two of his students claimed they were so traumatised they received a costly settlement to reimburse their emotional distress. Things took a darker turn a year later, when a 14 year old bludgeoned a classmate to death with a baseball bat; he claimed he wanted to see what it would be like to actually kill someone after watching Faces of Death.

#2 - Cannibal Holocaust (1980)

This Italian film’s title alone hints towards two frightening things: flesh-eating humans and genocide. In this found-footage movie we see an anthropologist lead a rescue team into the Amazon rainforest to find a group of filmmakers that went missing.

The rampant graphic content including sexual assault and animal cruelty showcased in the film (7 animals were killed during filming in some pretty horrific ways) led to it being banned in 50 countries.

Some also alleged that a handful of deaths seen in the film were real, as were the missing film crew. In fact, the actors portraying the documentarians signed contracts that stopped them appearing in motion pictures for an entire year to maintain the illusion of reality.

And only 10 days after its premiere, the director was charged with obscenity and the film confiscated. All copies were to be turned over to the authorities. There are currently a range of versions that have been edited to varying degrees and are allowed for circulation.

#1 - A Serbian Film (2010)

No.

Nope.

Don’t do it. Don’t watch this film.

A Serbian Film follows a retired porn star who agrees to feature in an “art film” for some cash. Little does he know this film will include rape, incest, pedophilia, necrophilia…

Just don’t watch it.

It is still banned in South Korea, New Zealand, Australia. It is supposedly a parody of politically correct films made in Serbia that are funded by foreign groups and allegedly speaks openly about post-war society and the struggle for survival.

*shakes head*

Off to have a 3 hour shower, brb.

If you, uhhh, liked this post please like and reblog.

And if you want to hear more about horror and the supernatural every week hit follow!

#horror #Horror Movies #horror films #best horror movies #scary movies #banned films #video nasty #a serbian film #human centipede #the blair witch project #cannibal holocaust #faces of death #banned movies #censorship #night of the living dea #controversy #controversial films

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monipoka · 3 years

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Addressing Content Warning Concerns

I am writing in response to points that were brought up concerning my recent post. If you haven’t read that post, you can find it here.

Be warned that this is a very long post (2.8k words). It deals with the topics of pedophilia and rape. Opinions expressed are my own; however, I do offer some resources for you to better educate yourself on this post’s content.

I will not provide a link to the user that responded as she had no ill intentions. Disclaimer if the said user reads this post, I write with peace and love at 4:00 A.M. There are a couple of places where I may sound aggressive or petty, but it is analytical and not meant to invalidate you or your opinions.

Red = user’s response with minimal changes (adjusted for grammar and clarification)

Black = my response

Part 1: Age Regression and Infantilization

To learn more about age regression, here are two lovely articles describing what age regression means medically and socially.

“Age regression [agere] is a form of coping meant to eliminate stress in potentially triggering situations. Agere is not a part of sexual play and never should be. I believe [Moni] is confusing agere for age play.”

This completely misses the mark. I understand that age regressors enter a younger psychological state often as a coping mechanism. There is nothing inherently wrong with age regression as therapy. My complaints are that people are FETISHIZING age regression. As stated in my post, age regressors enter the mindset of a child commonly called a “little space.” These individuals are to be treated like children as it helps them feel safe and loved.

In my experience on Tumblr, writers commonly misinterpret Daddy Dominant, Little Girl (DDLG) or Age Play (the larger, umbrella term) for age regression. For the purposes of explanation, I am going to be using DDLG and she/her pronouns. DDLG is a type of BDSM relationship where the dominant partner (male) takes on the role of a care-giver while the submissive partner (female) takes on the role of a child. This dynamic is pretend and intended for sexual interactions. Keyword here: pretend. While the submissive portrays childish behavior, she still has an adult mindset; therefore, she can give meaningful consent. Once writers describe the submissive slipping into “little space,” her mindset is corrupt as she has age regressed; therefore, she cannot give meaningful consent making the interaction non-consensual as she embodies a child.

“Infantilization is treating somebody as if they’re a child. For example, ‘babying’ someone is the best explanation for it. This, in my opinion, is not pedophilia because it’s not inherently sexual. If it IS sexual, I wouldn’t necessarily classify it as pedophilic, but it is questionable.”

Again, this misses the mark. In a non-sexual context, infantilization is completely okay. My complaints are that people are FETISHIZING the infantilization of characters. I used this term as an alternative language to age regression because I have encountered both on this site.

“Age Play, in my opinion, is pedophilic due to how the 'older’ of the partners is benefitting from it. So if [Moni] and I are thinking the same thing, but not really using the same terminology, then I agree.”

Age Play is a kink in the BDSM community between two consenting and level-headed adults.

Age Regression is characterized by regressing back to a younger headspace.

Sexualizing age regression is pedophilic because age regressors feel, act, and exhibit childlike qualities; they genuinely believe that they are a child.

If age play includes “little space,” then it is pedophilic because the submissive has age regressed.

“None of these is what I would consider illegal due to the fact that both parties are consenting adults. But age play definitely is pedophilic. But, obviously, if both people are adults, it can’t be considered illegal.”

I called pedophilia (and rape) illegal. In the eyes of the law, sexualizing age play--given that the individual is of age--is legal. This point used the transitive property of equality (Trans POE) to point out the hypocrisy in condemning pedophilia but supporting the fetishization of age regression. To clarify, it may not be illegal, but it is morally wrong.

“Infantilization and age regression aren’t inherently pedophilic because they revolve around the idea of a mindset and not physicality.”

This is contradictory to your previous point and only half true. Age regressors largely rely on physical objects (ie. clothes, stuffed animals, pacifiers) to feel safe. While the root of age regression involves a change in psyche, it is reflected in their appearance and environment.

Part 2: Dubious Consent and Non-consensual

To learn more about rape, here is a wonderful article on non-consensual sex.

“Secondly, I’m quite confused on what she [Moni] is saying regarding calling dubcon [dubious consent] and noncon [non-consentual] rape instead of dubcon and noncon.

They are rape, or at least some form of sexual assault, but I don’t think anyone’s trying to mask them from being as such.”

I whole-heartedly disagree. It is apparent by the staggering number of dubcon and noncon posts that people use these terms to try and justify writing rape because they consider it a “fetish.” The reason I am against these terms is that writers never specifically condemn them. Oftentimes, writers mix the content of the fic into their warning section. So, by writing ‘blowjob’ next to ‘dubcon’ it underscores the severity of the situation.

“Categorizing both of the two as 'rape’ could potentially end up being very damaging. Rape is a very triggering and harsh word for some people, which is why I believe a lot of people use non-consensual sex as a term to avoid potentially triggering people.”

Again, I believe that people use dubcon and noncon to try and justify their rape “fetish.” However, if using the term “rape” is triggering to some individuals and the terms “dubcon” and “noncon” are used as a substitution, why aren’t these writers coming out and explicitly saying that they do not support these types of interactions? Furthermore, why are they writing and sharing this content in the first place if they acknowledge it as rape?

“Also, I think it’s important to clarify whether the 'sexual assault’ in fiction is dubious or non-consensual. There’s a big difference between both parties being drunk in a fic (dubcon) and hard rape, and it’s important to distinguish the two in warning columns.”

Drunk people can’t consent. Both situations are rape. The “level” of rape that you refer to, being how consensual it is, is more damaging in my opinion. Because they were drunk, it means less than if they were sober. This perpetuates victim shaming. She was asking for it. She shouldn’t have drunk so much. Rape is rape. It is never okay. And one rape is never better than another.

“Dubcon is also very important to clarify in fics due to the fact that dubcon is only a fictional concept. It helps indicate the level of consent given in the fiction because someone could be not triggered by sex under intoxication but can be triggered by hard noncon.”

I’m going to use a quote I cited from this source because I feel that the writer describes dubcon more eloquently than I can: “What bothers me the most about this situation, and what I think you are partly getting at here, is when people say that their fic isn't "noncon" or they say it is "dubcon" or "noncon depending on your point of view." Come on! Have the guts to admit that what they're writing is rape. Dubious consent bothers me as a qualifier because if you aren't sure whether someone is consenting, you don't do it or it's rape. No excuses. So, I think that people should just bite the bullet and say, this is a rape fic.... If people want to write rape fic, go for it, and I will probably read it, but let's step up and acknowledge what it is we are writing. I take issue with these qualifiers because I think that it is far more insidious than out and out rape porn. At least when we say it is rape, then we can move on to the next step: saying it's wrong, just a fantasy, etc. But avoiding the label perpetuates the rape myths that have had such a damaging effect on victims and justice: did she enjoy it, she didn't really say no, she was a tease, they've done it before. None of those things matter, and when a person labels their fic, they need to stop pretending they do.”

Essentially, the writer is reiterating what I explained in my previous comment that rape is rape. Another statement that I found describes how damaging fiction can be in real life. While most readers understand that what occurred didn’t really happen, there are real-life consequences attributed to it: “...However, not everyone in fandom uses those terms in those ways. And I think that's a problem that we need to fix. Because, especially when situations that exist in real life and that would be called rape in real life are labeled "dubcon," I think it does real harm to us all.....We currently live in a culture where not fighting back - because, for example, the rapist has threatened to kill you, or someone else, or your pet, if you don't go along with it - will very often get a rape case overturned in court. Where judges and juries and god knows the popular media will pick out and analyze every detail of a person's life to determine whether they were asking for it, whether they secretly wanted it, whether they could have conceivably fought back more than they did, why they didn't scream, why they didn't report the blackmail that was used to control them, whether or not their "consent" might've been implicitly given by winks or nods or secret handshakes or a general miasma of sexual invitation. In other words, we live in a world in which rape culture, a thing we all unwittingly participate in at one time or another, works very very hard to label things dubcon when they're really noncon.”

“Most people 'romanticizing’ non-consensual sex are victims who are trying to gain some sort of control over their trauma, so they have every right to do so. If a victim of rape should have the ability to choose whether or not they want to read/write a noncon fic and if they don’t want to use the word rape because it makes them uncomfortable, they don’t have to and shouldn’t be forced to.

As a victim of rape and sexual assault, I find peace in having the control and ability to write about my trauma. It's a way for me to gain back control that I lost and the word rape does make me uncomfortable, it makes many victims uncomfortable, and if I prefer not to use that word then I should not have to if people know synonymous terms.”

Romanticize: deal with or describe in an idealized or unrealistic fashion; make (something) seem better or more appealing than it really is.

If you are writing/reading smut, you are trying to get off. If you are writing/reading dubcon/noncon smut, you are getting off to rape. Instead of writing/reading about how heinous rape is and how disgusting rape culture is, you write/read fics romanticizing rape since as a reader you enjoy the content to some extent: it is with your favorite character, it takes place in a cool universe, it got you horny, you felt good after reading it. Romanticizing rape is damaging to society as it subconsciously makes rape appealing. I doubt that is the intention, but you can’t deny that these underlying connections exist.

There is a difference between writing to cope and writing to entertain. My intention has never been to victim shame. But writing non-consensual sex between anime characters and a reader-insert is a form of entertainment. Remember the purposes of writing we learned about in elementary school? Yeah, I have a hard time believing that this is therapeutic. Journal therapy uses reflective writing to work through trauma and mental health issues. In sexual assault cases specifically, victims often write about their experience and/or letters to their perpetrator(s). However, if this is your way to cope, that’s fine. But writing rape fics is not the same as sharing rape fics.

“People know the severity of noncon and dubcon, which is what I think [Moni] is missing. No one is trying to not make noncon rape because it is rape. People know that it is. Most people just chose to say 'noncon’ to avoid unnecessarily triggering others.”

Do they? I think to my previous comments in this section, people use these terms to downplay the seriousness of rape.

“And there are far more 'consensual’ fics out there than noncon/dubcon fics, so I don’t exactly understand what [Moni] means by 'romanticize’ or 'normalize it.’”

Two comments up I describe what romanticization is and how it is being done in the community. I’m going to ignore the number part of this statement because I feel that there is no relevance; If there is a platform for rape fics and people are engaging with them, numbers don’t matter relative to another type of fic. I call that authors romanticize consensual sex because it is oftentimes not explicitly stated, and I think it should be. The character(s) and reader are in a relationship and sex is a byproduct of that (I do not consider this dubcon). Personally, I have found very few fics where explicit consent is written in. People sometimes think that asking for consent interrupts the flow and ruins a moment. Works of fiction have an impact on real life, and writing/reading about consent serves to reinforce healthy practices.

“Going off of that, I don’t understand what [Moni] means by 'fairly young’ audiences. I'm hoping that most 18+ consumers are, you know, eighteen or older (obviously that's not the case in all situations), and eighteen is a legal adult. Most people over the age of eighteen are very aware of what these terms mean, and they know right from wrong. So, there should be no need to clarify what 'noncon’ is for them.”

My point is that this community is relatively young. I have not encountered many writers or readers who are over the age of 25 (if you are, kudos). At this age, you lack experience. Many of these readers have never had sex or been in a relationship before. While you might know the difference between rape and consensual sex on paper, some of these things are more subtle--especially in person. You referenced drunk sex as something that you’d classify as dubcon although intoxicated individuals can’t consent. I recently read a fic where the reader was drunk and picked up at the bar by a character. He asked the reader if they consented to sex and they agreed. This is still rape as you cannot consent while intoxicated since alcohol impairs judgment. Regardless of enjoyment, which the reader experienced, this is still sexual assault. Can you see the confusion by labeling that dubcon? What is a young adult to think when they’ve been manipulated into sex but told they consented? It’s confusing, so these terms should be clarified.

Part 3: Fiction

To learn more about how fiction affects reality, here is this interesting TED-Ed animation that summarizes fiction’s impact. Also, I read this article that cites more examples.

“Also, our writing shouldn’t have to equate 'good practices,’ because a healthy-minded individual knows how to separate fiction and reality. Give people the freedom to write about whatever they want, whether it’s in private or not, that's what fiction is for.”

You claim that you don’t want to use the word rape to trigger people, so you acknowledge that not all readers are health-minded as they could be suffering from trauma or mental illness. Likewise, some individuals can’t discern fiction from reality.

More importantly, there is a connection between fiction and reality.

“Finally, I don't think we should be so open with connecting real-life issues with fictional ones. No one is going to become a rapist or want to be raped because they read fiction on it unless they’re truly a rapist or have been raped. Equating fictional works to real-life problems is a little insulting, whether [Moni] intended it to be or not.”

Watch the video and read the article. Fiction directly impacts culture and society. It may be insulting, but it’s factual.

“Because in the end, in rape fiction, no one actually got raped. In pedophilic fiction (I don’t support it don’t get me wrong), no one was actually a victim of pedophilia. Because they’re all fictional.”

That doesn’t make it okay. Again, my problem is that writers ROMANTICIZE these topics which reflect poorly on society.

“If someone is concerned about pedophilia and rape fiction, I believe it would be best to work towards real-life solutions to those real-life problems compared to criticizing fiction authors.”

If you’re concerned about pedophilia and rape FICTION, I’d hope you’d criticize FICTION authors. Honestly, this seems to be a diversion tactic to avoid accountability.

Part 4: “No Offense, but You’re Wrong About Everything”

“Overall, I think [Moni] had good intentions, but it was poorly worded.

You pose a counter argument to each of my points and make it sound like I did not educate myself beforehand. You then deflect to talking about rape and pedophilia in real-world context to downplay the severity of pedophilia and rape in fiction.

I sound petty here, and I do not mean for my words to hurt. I wish that there was some communication beforehand since it seems that there was confusion. If my original post was unclear, I hope my comments help.

Conclusion

This is for everyone:

Please check out the resources I provided and do your own research to understand the situation before forming your own opinion.

No hate to the writer of the response. I just wish you would have reached out directly for clarification before taking my words out of context and assuming their meaning.

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kellyvela · 3 years

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Has GRRM ever said in any interview or on his blog that he hates Sansa's complete storyline after 4th season? I dont really follow all of his fan/media interactions but from what I can recall he has spoken abt how LF in books wont give sansa to ramsay or how noone had issue when Jeyne was given the Ramsay storyline in books etc. Asking this question to you bcs you rightly point out how ppl misunderstood his interviews/posts ( sansans/targ stans etc) & I cant recall him ever saying he 'hates' sansa's story in the later seasons of the show ( not s5 in particular but even s6 to s8).

Capclave 2013:

A change that has repercussions for season 4 is Marillion’s tongue removal from the first season. Martin said that the change was made (from an anonymous singer being the victim of a de-tonguing) because they wanted Joffrey to maim someone the audience would recognize. He believes this is an issue because of the part the singer plays in Sansa’s storyline, how he affects her interactions with others in the book, and he doesn’t believe another character will be fulfilling that role on Game of Thrones.

—GRRM talks season 4 & beyond - Winter is Coming - October 13, 2013

2014 Fan Reports about Capclave 2013 (*):

In a convention panel this year, George said on the record that he had no idea what they were doing with Sansa or where they’re taking her storyline, which now makes sense perhaps. He was not pleased when he was talking about it, so who knows what’s going to happen with her! Knowing GRRM, that could mean they’re going off the canon reservation, and/or that they’re going to be making a lot of shit up

I have notes I’ll be responding to (thanks!) but enough people commented about Sansa that I thought I’d share that tidbit, since it happened back in September iirc (was the same panel where he criticized the exclusion of Tyrell brothers)

—starkalypse - June 3, 2014

GRRM’s comments at capclave about Sansa (which I was in the third row for, for those asking about legitimacy) were among others during the panel that had a general theme of dissatisfaction with show changes. He was not in good spirits for that con and didn’t really have anything positive to say regarding the show. So take it with a grain of salt; there are deviations away from the books in the episodes he gets writers credit for, so maybe they’re doing something stupid or they really don’t have a gameplan!

—starkalypse - June 4, 2014

(*) These reports were posted in June 2014, during the airing of Game of Thrones Season 4, about Capclave 2013 that happened in October 2013.

Just after the rape episode:

How many children did Scarlett O’Hara have? Three, in the novel. One, in the movie. None, in real life: she was a fictional character, she never existed. The show is the show, the books are the books; two different tellings of the same story.

There have been differences between the novels and the television show since the first episode of season one. And for just as long, I have been talking about the butterfly effect. Small changes lead to larger changes lead to huge changes. HBO is more than forty hours into the impossible and demanding task of adapting my lengthy (extremely) and complex (exceedingly) novels, with their layers of plots and subplots, their twists and contradictions and unreliable narrators, viewpoint shifts and ambiguities, and a cast of characters in the hundreds.

There has seldom been any TV series as faithful to its source material, by and large (if you doubt that, talk to the Harry Dresden fans, or readers of the Sookie Stackhouse novels, or the fans of the original WALKING DEAD comic books)… but the longer the show goes on, the bigger the butterflies become. And now we have reached the point where the beat of butterfly wings is stirring up storms, like the one presently engulfing my email.

Prose and television have different strengths, different weaknesses, different requirements.

David and Dan and Bryan and HBO are trying to make the best television series that they can.

And over here I am trying to write the best novels that I can.

And yes, more and more, they differ. Two roads diverging in the dark of the woods, I suppose… but all of us are still intending that at the end we will arrive at the same place.

In the meantime, we hope that the readers and viewers both enjoy the journey. Or journeys, as the case may be. Sometimes butterflies grow into dragons.

—The Show, the Books - Not A Blog - May 18, 2015

Report about the last Game of Thrones Script that GRRM wrote:

No Wedding for Sansa and Ramsay: Without question, one of the most controversial changes the show made in trying to streamline the books was by slotting Sansa into the role of Ramsay’s wife and rape victim in Season 5. In the books, Ramsay marries and assaults Sansa’s best childhood friend, Jeyne Poole—who is being forced to impersonate Arya—instead. (You can actually see Jeyne briefly sitting next to Sansa in the show’s pilot.)

At the time Martin wrote this script, though, substituting Sansa for Jeyne was not yet the plan. Martin has Roose Bolton tell his bastard son: “We have a much better match in mind for you. A match to help House Bolton hold the north. Arya Stark.” It should be noted, however, that in Martin’s script, Sansa isn’t free from menace either. At his own wedding-day breakfast, Joffrey still threatens to rape the older Stark sister—once he’s “gotten Margaery with child.”)

—Game of Thrones: The Secrets of George R.R. Martin’s Final Script - Vanity Fair - December 7, 2018

A month before the Game of Throne S8 Finale:

Sansa’s story, in particular, has really deviated from the books. Ramsay Bolton — that marriage obviously was with a different character. When they start deviating like that, did you initially have any emotional reaction, even though you worked in Hollywood for many years yourself?

GRRM: Well, yeah — of course you have an emotional reaction. I mean, would I prefer they do it exactly the way I did it? Sure. But I’ve been on the other side of it, too. I’ve adapted work by other people, and I didn’t do it exactly the way they did it, so ….

Some of the deviation, of course, is because I’ve been so slow with these books. I really should’ve finished this thing four years ago — and if I had, maybe it would be telling a different story here. It’s two variations of the same story, or a similar story, and you get that whenever anything is adapted. The analogy I’ve often used is, to ask how many children did Scarlett O’Hara have? Do you know the answer to that?

I know it’s different in the book and the movie …

GRRM: Three children in the book, one by each husband. She had one child in the movie. And in real life, of course, Scarlett O’Hara had no children, because she never existed. Margaret Mitchell made her up. The book is there. You can pick it up and read Mitchell’s version of it, or you can see the movie and see David Selznick’s version of it. I think they’re both true to the spirit of the work, and hopefully that’s also true of Game of Thrones on one hand, and A Song of Ice and Fire on the other hand.

—George R.R. Martin on the Stark Sisters and Ending ‘Game of Thrones’ - RollingStone - April 22, 2019

James Hibberd’s Book:

GEORGE R. R. MARTIN: Jeyne Poole was included in the pilot—she’s shown giggling next to Sansa—but she’s never seen or referred to again. I actually wrote Jeyne into “The Pointy End,” my first script, when Arya killed the stableboy. I had some stuff with Jeyne running to Sansa being all hysterical and dialogue in the council chamber with Littlefinger saying, “Give her to me, I’ll make sure she doesn’t cause any trouble.” That was dropped.

DAVID BENIOFF: Sansa is a character we care about almost more than any other. We really wanted Sansa to play a major part in that season. If we were going to stay absolutely faithful to the book, it was going to be very hard to do that. There was a subplot we loved from the books, but it was a character not involved in the show.

GEORGE R. R. MARTIN: I was trying to set up Jeyne for her future role as the false Arya. The real Arya has escaped and is presumed dead. But this girl has been in Littlefinger’s control for years, and he’s been training her. She knows Winterfell, has the proper northern accent, and can pose as Arya. Who the hell knows what a little girl you met two years ago looks like? When you’re a lord visiting Winterfell, are you going to pay attention to the little kids running around? So she can pull off the impersonation. Not having Jeyne, they used Sansa for that. Is that better or worse? You can make your decision there. Oddly, I never got pushback for that in the book because nobody cared about Jeyne Poole that much. They care about Sansa.

—Fire Cannot Kill a Dragon: Game of Thrones and the Official Untold Story of the Epic Series by James Hibberd - October 6, 2020

GEORGE R. R. MARTIN: My Littlefinger would have never turned Sansa over to Ramsay. Never. He’s obsessed with her. Half the time he thinks she’s the daughter he never had—that he wishes he had, if he’d married Catelyn. And half the time he thinks she is Catelyn, and he wants her for himself. He’s not going to give her to somebody who would do bad things to her. That’s going to be very different in the books.

—Fire Cannot Kill a Dragon: Game of Thrones and the Official Untold Story of the Epic Series by James Hibberd - October 6, 2020

I hope it helps you.

Thanks for your message.

#sansa stark #grrm

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alienheartattack · 3 years

Text

To All Of Us, From 2000 Years Ago

I got so mad about 139 and the leaks that I banged out my own 3000+ word ending to the manga today. Please keep in mind that this is a non-shipping story. Although I’ve exclusively written Rivamika before, this is not a Rivamika story, and although there’s an Eren/Mikasa scene at the beginning. there is no relationship between them, only the implication of feelings that are not quite reciprocated. I also threw some Levi fan service in there because why the hell not?

CW: There are references to and non-detailed descriptions of rape in this story.

You can also read this on AO3!

"You know what you have to do," Eren says. Mikasa pretends not to hear him over the rush of the little creek they're sitting by so he says it again, louder.

"I know," she sighs. "Even now, knowing that you've done something so unforgivable, a part of me doesn't want to."

"You're a good person, Mikasa. You'll be even better without me."

She snorts a laugh. "I've killed people, too. Just not as many as you did."

"You always had the weirdest sense of humor." Eren puts an arm around her, presses a kiss to her cheek. "I'm going to miss it." That's what finally brings him to tears, the thought of not seeing Mikasa again. Or Armin. Or Connie, or Jean, or Captain Levi, even the rest of them. He's had plenty of time to accept that he'd die at nineteen, was always going to die at nineteen, but now that the moment has arrived he wants to hold on just a bit longer.

Mikasa doesn't cry, at least not the way he expects her to. Tears stream down her face but she doesn't sniffle, doesn't sob, doesn't rage or scream the way she’s done in the past. He sees them both, Mikasa the girl and Mikasa the soldier, perfectly coexisting in the inky blackness of her eyes. She has made her decision. She made it before she even stepped into the mouth of the Titan.

"Kiss me one last time," Eren weeps. "Please."

"Okay," she nods, cupping his face with one hand and leaning in close. "See you later, Eren."

When Mikasa pulls away from his lips, the deed is already done. His severed head feels sickeningly heavy in her blood-stained hands. His eyes gaze beyond her, beyond the veil of this world, clouded with the knowledge of the void. The Titan around her begins to disintegrate in plumes of white steam. Mikasa swears she can smell wildflowers.

"Mikasa Ackerman," a girl's voice echoes. Mikasa whips her head around, looking for the source of the sound. Someone seems to materialize from the steam, swirling eddies of smoke coalescing in the form of a small girl, scraggly blond hair falling into her eyes, barefoot in a dirty white dress. Her face is blank, her eyes downcast.

"Ymir," Mikasa says, the name forming in her mouth before she can think of it.

Ymir nods, then points to Eren's head. "You loved him. Why did you kill him?"

"I had to."

"Why?"

"Because some things are more important than my love." Ymir stares blankly, seemingly confused. "The millions of people who died are more important. The world is more important. Besides, what kind of person would I be to stand beside someone who could slaughter so many people so senselessly?"

"You… don't love him?" The little girl blinks quickly, white lids snapping over black eyes. Something about it seems inhuman, wrong somehow. Mikasa cannot help but think of insects.

A tear falls from her face and lands on Eren’s, snaking a trail down his cheek as though he'd shed it himself. "I can never forget what he did and I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive him for it, but I'll always love Eren."

"You wouldn't die for him?"

Mikasa answers without hesitation. "Never."

Ymir's gaze snaps up to Mikasa's, and she feels sick from what she sees in the girl's odd, dark eyes: a hunger, almost starvation, for the scraps of affection Karl Fritz would throw at her; a longing to be treated well, to be fussed over and doted on and adored. Ymir would close her eyes and dream of a shining, beautiful man when the king held her down and fucked her, made her recoil, made her bleed, beat her when she cried out or complained of the pain. She carved out a space in her mind for him where she sculpted him into her ideal. Sometime between that first bloody night and the day the assassin's spear pierced her chest she invented a Karl Fritz out of whole cloth, a man whose cold entreaties and brutal assaults were proof of his undying love.

Mikasa sees these things from Ymir’s eyes, feels the bruises forming on her back, the tearing and bleeding between her legs, the rotted wine breath of Karl Fritz in her mouth.

"I would never have jumped in front of that spear," she says, more confident than she’s ever felt. "I wouldn't even have considered it." Ymir frowns, cocks her head like she's trying to understand. "You thought you were doing the right thing, but you protected a man who never loved you. You laid down your life for a man who forced your daughters to consume your body. He didn't even mourn you."

A flash of anger contorts Ymir's face. Her eyes dart around wildly, turning Mikasa's words over in her mind. "But he loved me," she insists.

"Did he ever tell you he loved you? Or did he treat you like a slave?" Mikasa's voice wavers at the word slave, at the memory of Eren screaming at her across that restaurant table; the moment her wall of denial came crumbling down. No matter what his plan was, it became clear that day that he would step on any of them to achieve it. She had no idea how true that assessment would become, millions of bodies crushed into the contaminated earth beneath the feet of Eren’s Titans.

She wonders if things would have happened differently if he'd just admitted once that he loved her.

"You are free," she tells Ymir. "You choose your own destiny. I am free, and I chose mine."

Ymir says nothing, her eyes luminous with tears, and then dissipates into the smoke. Mikasa is vaguely aware of the wavering steam around her, of Levi flying on Falco's back and pulling her out of the Titan's mouth before everything turns hazy and white.

She can see the scene from two thousand years earlier as clear as though she were there, floating above it all: the crowd come to see King Fritz's speech, the hooded assassin's arm pulling back, the tip of the spear glinting in the daylight. The assassin lets the spear fly, its arc perfectly aimed at the heart of the tyrant. His wife Ymir, older and slimmer than the girl Mikasa met but still with those same sad, black insect eyes, watches in horror as the tip of the spear flies closer and closer; but she does not move, not even when it impales her husband through the chest and the light in his eyes is snuffed out.

In time-lapse, Mikasa sees it all: the accession of Queen Ymir, wise and fair, and the moderate reigns of her three daughters, and their daughters after them. The power of the Titans remains within the royal family, passed down from mother to daughter, a shameful, secret birthright. They create diplomatic ties with other countries, offering succor and counsel, avoiding the path of war so as not to reveal their ultimate power. There is no Great Titan War, no walls, no telepathic manipulation. The world moves forward in fits and starts as it always has, small skirmishes and occasional wars, but the Eldians remain steadfast and committed to peace. Satisfied with Ymir's choice, Mikasa finds herself closing her eyes, opening them for the first time again in the year 835, in her parents' house just outside Shiganshina, as a new doctor pulls her into the world. He is not Grisha Yeager, she notes, and then she forgets who Grisha Yeager is entirely.

In the year 845, there is no Wall Maria for the Colossal Titan to breach, and no Colossal Titan to breach it.

Inside one of the cities in what was once Wall Rose, a history teacher writes notes on a chalkboard before his first class arrives for the day. He draws a crown in the middle of the board and writes the subject of the day's class inside of it: QUEEN YMIR THE WISE. The teacher is startled by a noise behind him; he turns to find one of his students, a shy girl called Sarah, taking a seat at her desk.

"School hasn't started yet," he says. "You're supposed to be outside."

"I'm sorry, Mr. Smith," Sarah replies. "I was looking at a really interesting bug and the other girls started making fun of me."

The teacher nods. "All right, just this once. If you’d like, sometime I could teach you how to stand up to those girls."

Hundreds of miles away, the forests of Dauper ring with the whoops of an exuberant girl, triumphing at having killed her first deer with a bow and arrow she carved herself. She doesn't care that she's scaring the other game away with her commotion, or that she has no idea how she'll lug a hundred-pound carcass all the way back home.

In Trost, a young boy lingers over his breakfast; not because he wants to miss school, but because his mother's omelet is the most delicious thing he's ever eaten and probably ever will eat. His mother ruffles his hair and pinches his round cheek, then gently chides him to eat faster or he’ll be late.

A little boy in Ragako District, a few inches shorter than his friends, demands another explanation of the multiplication tables. He doesn't quite understand the concept, goes blank when his friends try to explain arrays of rows and columns, but he believes that he can pass today's test if he tries hard enough.

Across the sea in Marley, the prosperous Eldian District is strewn with streamers, celebrating the 2000th anniversary of the assassination of the cruel King Fritz. The children have the day off from school and are gathering in the streets, purchasing candy and ice cream from vendor stalls and exchanging them as gifts to celebrate the sweetness of life. A little blond girl receives an extra coin from her father, who tells her to get something special for herself.

A few blocks away, a doctor fills his medical bag and sets off to see his first patient of the day. As he walks through the crowd of happy children, many of whom he’s delivered himself, he hopes that his only son will change his mind and join the family business.

In Mitras, a shopkeeper opens his door for the first time, pausing for a moment in the early morning sunshine to admire the wooden shingle hanging by his doorway, gently swinging in the breeze. It depicts a hand wrapped around a mug of tea, wisps of steam rising into the air above it.

The door opens while he's adjusting the canisters on the shelf behind the counter, making sure their labels face perfectly forward. His heart leaps at the tinkle of the doorbell. He picked the most musical one, the one that made him happiest when he heard it, and he feels very good about his decision.

"Hello, welcome to Ackerman Tea— Mom!" His voice takes on an adolescent whine when he addresses his mother, which makes him feel like a child and impossibly old at the same time, despite his twenty-six years.

"Did you really think I wouldn't be your first customer?" she asks, beaming. "Of course I'm going to come support my sweet boy." Her gaze sweeps over the shop, its walls painted a deep forest green, the mahogany counter polished to a mirror shine. "I'm so proud of you, Levi. You've worked so hard and it shows." Her voice quavers, her eyes filling with tears.

"Moooom," he trills, softer this time, quietly moved. Her presence feels like an auspicious omen, a reminder from the universe that someone will catch him should he fall. "Is there a tea you’re interested in, or would you like me to help you choose? We have more than thirty varieties."

"You've been practicing," his mother notes with a nod.

Levi shrugs off her comment, feeling a bit bashful that she’s noticed his hard work. "I've never been great with people, and this job is nothing but people. At least until I can hire someone to cover the counter while I blend tea in the back."

"You'll get there soon," she says, pulling a few coins from her purse. "Get me something you'd think I'd like."

He thinks for a moment, his brow furrowing in concentration, before his face lights up and he grabs a step-stool to reach a canister of black tea flavored with strawberry and rose. "This one is sweet and floral, but it becomes so much more when you add a bit of milk. You don't even need any sugar."

"Perfect. You even thought about how I take my tea." She places a few coins on the counter, watching her son approvingly as he scoops the tea into a bag, folds it closed with surgical precision, and ties a blue ribbon around it. "You're going to be a success, my love. I know it."

"That makes one of us," he smirks, then scoops the coins into his palm and puts them in the cash register, enjoying the feel of the heavy keys under his fingers, the spring-loaded pressure of the drawer. He hopes he gets to use it many more times today.

"Will you be home for dinner?"

"I should be. I can't imagine people will want to buy tea at night."

"Good," his mother says. "Because now that you're in business, we should talk about finding you a wife."

"MOM!" he exclaims, a furious blush coloring his face.

Further south in Shiganshina, Mikasa sulks as her mother walks her into town, not wanting to leave the safety of her parents' cabin to learn and play with the other children. She is perfectly happy to do chores on the farm, to learn the simultaneously mundane and arcane secrets of coaxing a plant from seed, to throw feed to the chickens and pull weeds in the garden.

"Mikasa, you're ten years old. Your father and I can't teach you everything," her mother says.

"I can learn from books. I don't need to go to school."

"The fact that you're saying that means you need to go. There's more to the world than just our farm, my sweet. You might want to see the world someday."

The little girl huffs. "I doubt it." Her mother simply shakes her head and smiles, ruminating on her daughter’s impending teenage years, a possible hint of rebellion, but finds that hard to imagine. Mikasa is usually a calm, easygoing child, though perhaps a bit too inquisitive and stubborn for her own good.

Mikasa hugs her mother fiercely at the school gate, watching as she turns and walks back up the road that leads to their farm. She’s excited to make new friends and learn new things, but she misses her home more than she ever thought possible. She lets out a soft sigh, then turns to face the crowd of running, yelling children; her new classmates.

She trudges around the grassy schoolyard, dodging groups of kids chasing each other or playing impromptu games. Everyone seems to know each other already; even if she did feel comfortable enough to go up to someone and introduce herself, she has no idea who to approach first.

"Hey! Give that back!" someone screams behind her. Mikasa turns around to see a small blond boy jumping up and down, reaching for a book that a larger boy dangles just above his grasp. The larger boy just laughs at him, taunting him with the book, threatening to tear it from its spine.

Mikasa frowns, balling her fists at her sides, then approaches the boys. "He said to give his book back," she says to the bully. "Give it back."

The bully laughs. "You think you can tell me what to do?"

"I think you should give the book back if you know what's good for you," she snarls, putting her hands on her hips. The bully laughs again and shoves Mikasa out of the way with one hand, making her stumble backwards, tripping over her own feet until she lands on her behind in the dirt. She gets up, dusts herself off, and runs up to the bully, punching him square in the nose. He falls to the ground, dropping the book. Mikasa tosses it to the blond boy. The bully grabs his nose, tears welling in his eyes, and lets out a wail when he sees his hand smeared with blood.

"You leave him alone!" Mikasa threatens, looming over the bully, her dark eyes shining. He scrabbles to his feet and runs away and she lets out a relieved breath, her heart hammering in her chest.

"That was amazing!" the little boy says. When he approaches her, she finds that he's not actually that small, only a few inches shorter than her. "I've never seen you before. Are you new?"

"It's my first day," she replies. "I've lived here all my life but I haven't been to school yet."

"I'm Armin," the boy says. "What's your name?"

"Mikasa."

"That’s an interesting name. Are you from Hizuru?" Armin asks, his eyes wide with curiosity. He holds up his book, a thick, leather-bound tome, A Brief History of Hizuru and the Minor East Sea Islands written in gilt lettering. "My parents told me that the whole country is built around a volcano. A big mountain filled with liquid fire! Well, technically it’s molten rock."

"My mom's family is from Hizuru, but I’ve never been there and I don't know anything about any liquid fire mountains," she says tentatively.

"It's real!" he gushes. "I'm reading about it now. I could tell you about it more at recess if you want. I like to sit under that tree over there." He points off in the distance, at a huge pine tree that shades a corner of the yard. "They're going to ring the bell soon, otherwise I'd tell you now. Volcanoes are so cool. Sometimes they explode and shoot the liquid fire into the sky like a firework."

"Wow!" Mikasa marvels with a smile. "I can’t wait to hear about them."

#snk 139 #snk spoilers #snk leaks #snk fanfiction #alienheartattack writes

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