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bespectacledbun · 2 years

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⚠️ [EN SPOILERS] ⚠️

some thoughts regarding a certain part of luke’s main route. kind of a vent about the localization, but not really that deep. under the cut for spoilers. tw/cw for mentions of sexual assault.

so I was reading luke’s route during election to use tickets for lucky time and I got to chapters 13 and 14 of his route— the part where he explains his origins and how his parents met to a horrified mc. and it has a flashback to Sariel explaining Luke’s origins to him in a flashback:

and..... I kind of feel like it was. downplayed in a sense? I understand ikepri is an otome first and foremost, but it’s already delved into a whole host of admittedly very dark topics, including abuse, depression, suicide, PTSD, war, and slavery. so it’s not as if this is the first time they’ve covered something that would need a trigger warning. this is the exact same dialogue line in the JP version:

Sariel: “That night... the king assaulted and raped your mother like a beast”

the information is the same but the wording is much more explicit in comparison. in the en version.... it feels like they tried to sanitize it (not the right word) so that the game wouldn’t be too dark. which, like, given all the other awful shit that already happens in game and with the other suitors, is a weird move imo. I feel like the localizers shouldn't have shied away from translating the line directly.

I can kind of guess WHY the line was changed, because ikepri jp and ikepri en were marketed as two different games. ikepri jp from the get-go was supposed to be a mature romance meant for adults, with dark topics included. ikepri en, on the other hand, was a cute fairytale-esque love story with no mention of how dark the game could really be. but the downside of that is a lot of players were underprepared for all the triggering stuff that the game actually has (ive seen many, many, many comments and tags on my posts about how ikepri was much darker than people expected).

so with the atmosphere that ikepri en set up for itself, I guess that could be one reason why they chose to use different wording for that specific dialogue. but to me what ends up happening is the en version (unintentionally) downplays the severity of what happened with the previous king and Luke’s mother.

“he forced himself onto your mother” doesn’t carry the same weight and severity that “he raped your mother” holds, from my view. it doesn’t really convey the level of trauma that Luke’s mother endured for the rest of her life because of what happened to her. what happened to her was rape, and I feel it should have been called as such in the game, not by a euphemism

#ikepri #ikepri en spoilers #cw rape #tw rape #again reminder that I tag for my archive not for my posts to be found in the search #and nobody is forced to agree or disagree with my views #also this is not me bashing Luke or his character I think the character is fine #this one specific bit of translation just really bothered me #I feel like they could have avoided that word if they didnt want to trigger people #but still found a way to actually convert the severity of the king's actions #this word choice did not do any of that imo

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creativesplat · 3 years

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I often try not to be too critical on this blog, but I thought I ought to mention it.

Star Wars the Clone Wars has some serious problems.

Some things are just not handled delicately or correctly in any way shape or form. I’m not going to talk about the Clovis arcs here, since @englishlady has already done a very good job on that, and will instead elaborate on my opinions about the Zygerria arc.

Trigger warnings for discussion of slavery, non-consensual stuff, and sexual harassment.

Anakin’s portrayal was the thing that really frustrated me at first. This is a man who has suffered under slavery, abuse, and violence for the first nine years of his life, and the story writers are telling me that he is almost entirely comfortable bantering with his Padawan whilst surrounded by awful things from his past? After a few years you don’t just get over trauma, but his reactions seem to have.

I have been through nothing even remotely as bad as this, but the bad stuff that has happened in my past isn’t something I can get over, and when it’s brought up I feel rather uncomfortable, uneasy, or downright rotten.

The show writers really should have looked at this and said: ‘we are putting a character who has experienced childhood trauma into a position where he will be confronted by it and may experience it again, let’s try to handle it sensitively’ but what they actually went for was: ‘we’re doing episodes on slavery, there should be scantily clad ladies and the overall message that slavery is bad’ Yes. Slavery is bad. Everyone knows that. In dealing with such a sensitive topic, it should be handled better. Not just ‘slavery bad, but ooh look girls!’ (I will be getting on to the inappropriate costume design in a moment, btw), but also some delicacy and tact. These are real world problems that people today still suffer from, they should be handled more appropriately.

There was one line that really stood out to me (although all of them were rather poor) and that was where Ahsoka is discussing her roll on the mission.

Here’s the conversation from the Clone War’s TV show:

Here’s the conversation from the comic.

See the difference?

It feels really really tone deaf for the only character that is making light of the situation the only one who has actually experienced it. It felt a little like saying: ‘oh this sort of thing isn’t that bad, hehe lol’. It felt dismissive and not only unpleasant in terms of the real world as well, but also just incredibly poor writing and story telling.

You don’t even need to realise he has emotional trauma to realise his character would be uncomfortable in that situation, he doesn’t like sand and he’s on a desert planet. He doesn’t like putting Ahsoka in danger, and Ahsoka is in danger. I mean maybe I’m just a little judgmental or maybe I misread it… but… IDK, the portrayal of Anakin really cheesed me off.

---

Here’s the bits that may be a bit triggering, just a warning:

Ahsoka’s outfit is in no way shape or form appropriate. She is dressed like a sex slave, and she is a child.

Anakin would have probably chosen the outfits for this mission, because you know, he has the most knowledge on the subject. You can not tell me that the Ex-Slave Anakin Skywalker would gladly dress his underage female Padawan in saucy clothes.

This was a creative decision which made no sense in the story or for the characters, and it has some rather unfortunate implications. Whilst Ahsoka is not in any way harmed sexually there is the implication that something could have happened, had the Queen or Anakin allowed it. That is a rather distressing concept. It is inappropriate, particularly for a young child.

In the comics Ahsoka was dressed like Shmi Skywalker.

It would have made no difference to the story had they kept her dressed as Shmi Skywalker. I don’t really understand why they decided to dress a 15 year old girl as what appears to be a sex slave. It is disgusting and inappropriate.

Although, full disclaimer, I have never read the comics. I have only seen some of these pictures when researching to write this little opinion piece, so they may have handled the subject matter inappropriately too, I’m not sure.

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Another monumental wrong doing on the part of the writers was to make the ‘romance’ between Anakin and Miraj Scintel feel (with the music and staging) like a pining love.

She had his friends captured and seriously harmed, had him electrocuted until he fainted, and is the queen of an entire slave empire.

It was not a romance, or even a pining one-sided love.

At best it was sexual harassment of a powerless prisoner/ slave.

At worst it was sexual assault.

He woke up on her bed (which a few people have pointed out is a little unnerving and suggestive), she was very touchy with him (and he is uncomfortable with it), and she threatened him with hurting Ahsoka and Obi Wan (indirectly but it was clearly still implied) and the people who wrote the show said that they wanted the audience to feel some form of pity at her death because of their ‘romance’.

There are some moments where the writers imply that Anakin might not be entirely as into their ‘relationship’ as she is, telling her that she had “all the power” in their dynamic, but he looks so nonchalant at this point that it might go over the head of an audience member. He is telling her that she is forcing a relationship on him, and that he is powerless to stop it, and it’s played off as a blasé interaction.

I’m not entirely sure you can put those things in a show and try to play it off as romantic to get the ‘child-friendly’ rating. They could have quite easily at least attempted to deal with the serious subject matter that they introduced. There was a suicide and a significant amount of torture and abuse in these three episodes, so there was no excuse when the show glossed over such obvious and unpleasant misconduct.

I don’t know what it is with the writers writing abusive, predatory characters who’s deaths are supposed to inspire pity. Miraj Scintell was handled as poorly as Rush Clovis was, and I don’t really have a solution to that.

Maybe if you’re watching the Zygerria arc of the clone wars, don’t watch it with younger siblings or your children.

Although, this is completely an opinion piece, so if you totally disagree or think I’m a bit of a hater or just being judgemental, that’s fine. I may be being too harsh, IDK.

I’d like to think that this was an honest mistake from the writers rather than them being deliberately obtuse or inappropriate.

#zygerria #Star Wars the clone wars #opinion piece #little rant #Star Wars meta

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luvchaes · 2 years

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7 reasons why it happened

genre: angst, some fluff, broken friendships, incidents of betrayal

pairing:ot8 highschool student! ateez

summary: it has been 5 months since jung wooyoung jumped to his death. while the whole school still seems to be mourning his sudden death, 7 boys each receive a mysterious letter containing written contents related to the boy’s death. as all of them read their own letters, they slowly discover their seemingly unharmful actions may result in unpredictable hostile situations.

warnings: mentions of suicide, quite a large amount of swearing, underaged drinking, smoking, substance abuse, violence and some use of slurs.

note: the plot of this story is inspired by 13 reasons why (which y’all should totally watch) and the words in bold are texts from the letters and words in bold italic are flashbacks

note (2): the show 13 reasons why contains very disturbing topics such as SH, SA, violence, substance abuse, rape, and quite gory in some scenes where blood is explicitly shown. please don’t watch the show if you are easily triggered by such topics!

“Seonghwa, what the fuck happened to you? Fought a dragon along the way here?” San exclaimed, jumping in front of the tall slender male. A slap was delivered to his shoulder and followed by a grunt of annoyance before Seonghwa brushed past the latter. San cocked his head to the side, confused at his friend’s sudden hostility. Seonghwa was usually bubbly and bright—blessed by the fact that he is a morning person—but the unprecedented change of behaviour was worrying.

San trailed behind Seonghwa, who was headed to his locker, and stood by his side, leaning against his own locker for support.

“Hey, sorry about that. Seriously, are you okay? You look…tired.” He quipped, worry and sympathy evident in his eyes as he looked up at Seonghwa. Seonghwa shut the door of his locker and turned to his friend. San could not help but gasp. Seonghwa’s bloodshot eyes that were usually full of life, his unkempt hair that was always gelled up neatly, and his creased uniform that was always nicely ironed and groomed shocked San beyond words. Seonghwa only rolled his eyes before leaning into his friend’s ear.

“I need to talk to you. Follow me.” Without the chance to even question the latter’s actions, San felt himself being dragged by the arm like a ragged doll in the direction of the Science block. The two of them must have looked like utter maniacs, because numerous confused and distasteful stares were directed towards them and San was, without a doubt, mortified.

The road of embarrassment was not long before the duo had finally reached solitude at the school’s most secluded area. Seonghwa released his strong grip and maintained eye contact with his two feet. Not only was Seonghwa utterly terrified as he was about to tell San about what he read yesterday, but he was also seething with rage.

He was completely certain that San was the one who inserted the letter in his locker.

“Read this.” Seonghwa muttered under his breath, shoving the crumpled letter in San’s direction. The poor puzzled boy was full of questions, but decided to comply to Seonghwa’s statement, lips sealed shut. He reached out and grabbed the white piece of paper with shaky hands. The boy unfolded it gently, breath hitching after catching a glimpse of Jung Wooyoung’s name. San read the letter word for word, internalising every detail and absorbing every event that the letter contained. As he got to the end, San could barely form a coherent sentence. Heck, even his thoughts were jumbled all over the place.

“It was you, wasn’t it?” Seonghwa questioned in a low voice. He was now sitting on the stone pavement, legs to his chest and his upper body curled up into a ball.

“What did I do?” At that moment in time Seonghwa felt pure fiery surge through his veins.

“Don’t fucking lie to me, Choi San. I know it was you. You inserted the letter that Wooyoung wrote for me into my locker because you were fucking in love with him, you piece of shit! You wanted to make others suffer because the pain you were feeling alone apparently wasn’t enough! You’re nothing but a selfish faggot!” Seonghwa blurted out uncontrollably while stomping towards San. As he began to close the distance between them, San grabbed the collar of Seonghwa’s uniform and bore his gaze into his angry one.

“You shut your god damn mouth, Park Seonghwa. I didn’t even know about this pathetic piece of paper until you showed it to me and fucking interrogated me about it. Cut the crap Seonghwa, the only selfish one is you.” San managed to get out through his gritted teeth before letting go of the latter’s collar and walking away with his backpack swung across his right shoulder.

_______________________________________________

Dear Choi San,

Hey buddy! It’s me Wooyoung! If you are reading this, congrats! You are the second person to receive a letter from me. All of this may seem absurd and out of the blue, but I assure your this letter will explain everything.

Do you remember that one song by Coldplay? I don’t know if you do San ( you were the one who made me listen to it ), but I do. Very clearly. I listen to it everyday! I even saved it in my playlist!

Well, in case the title slipped your mind, the song is Yellow by Coldplay! A beautiful and heartwarming song I must say. You may be wondering, why is this boy writing a letter to tell his best friend about a song? To answer your burning question, this song plays an integral part in this letter.

So let me begin.

“What the fuck.” San mumbled as he held his letter in his hands. The boy had found this piece of paper slot neatly in between the pages of the Chemistry textbook that he was holding earlier, and was now seated on a closed toilet seat in the bathroom reading it like an idiot.

Choi San. Choi fucking San. You, were my best friend. You were my pillar of support, my safe space and my other half. What would I have done without you? Even after the whole “Drug Dumpster” incident, you were still nice to me. You never cared how others through about you for hanging out with the strange new kid and you always invited me over for dinner after school.

You made me feel belonged, special, loved and treasured. I could never thank you enough.

But what the fuck happened after that party at Yunho’s house?

At this juncture, San was already sobbing uncontrollably. The slight mention of Wooyoung’s name was already enough to make his heart ache, but the letter that contained traces of Wooyoung’s presence and existence was doing a superb job at tearing and smashing his soul apart into smithereens. Nevertheless, San blinked his tears away and kept reading on.

But he could not help but to remember the painful events that were vividly described in his letter.

“San, Wooyoung! You guys are here! Make yourselves at home!” Yunho said brightly, opening the door to let the duo in.

“That is the last thing I want to do, Jeong. This place is a madhouse!” San chuckled jokingly, causing Wooyoung to let out a laugh and Yunho to scratch his neck sheepishly. San was correct. Yunho’s three storey bungalow that was once beautifully decorated with abstract paintings, clean furniture and neatly arranged vases had turned into a club for a crowd of unhinged high school students who were barely holding on. Loud music was blasted from the speakers, some were dancing wildly in the spacious living room and the poolside and some were getting high in the kitchen. Empty pizza boxes were left on the floor and snack bowls were already overturned.

To an ordinary human being, such a scene will be easily compared to a pigsty. But for the inexperienced party animal, also known as Jung Wooyoung, the boy was fascinated. Sneaking out was definitely worth it, and he awaited to see what the night had installed for him.

“Let’s go get drinks!” San grabbed Wooyoung’s hand and led him to the kitchen. After making past the group of boys who were getting intoxicated and another group busy playing beer pong, San poured Wooyoung a cup of beer.

Wooyoung hesitated a little before reaching for the cup.

“Hold on, you never had beer before? Not even a sip?” San snickered, causing Wooyoung to hide his face behind the beer cup.

“Isn’t it illegal? We’re underaged, San.” Wooyoung quipped and San rolled his eyes in response.

“Shut up, you goody-two shoes. We do shit different here, and I say fuck the rules! Now drink. Consider this as your coming of age moment!“ San exclaimed before chugging his drink. Wooyoung smiled a little and followed. The bitterness of the beverage burned Wooyoung’s throat, followed by the sourness that cause his face to contort in response.

“You like it?“ San asked expectedly.

“Fuck yeah.” Wooyoung responded before pouring himself another cup. San chuckled at his friend and smiled adoringly at him. The two continued to drink, dance and shout over the loud music. They soon joined everyone outside near the pool, where they met with the rest of the group.

“Congrats on attending your first party and drinking your first beer!” Hongjoong exclaimed, jumping up and down. Wooyoung laughed at his clearly drunk state.

“Thank you for coming Wooyoung. Really. Seonghwa was a sulky mean bitch the whole time, but you made my night.” Yunho said, patting his friend on the shoulder. Wooyoung’s smile diminished slightly after the mention of Seonghwa’s name, but was soon lighted up again when someone brought more alcohol.

“I’m going to go get more drinks. You guys coming?” The bunch chuckled at Wooyoung’s ecstatic demeanour before following behind him.

The party went on into the wee hours of the morning. Even at two in the morning, barely anyone had left. The only things that left were Wooyoung’s sobriety and San’s inability to control his hyperactivity. The two were a giggly mess and even after entering the empty guest room, they could not stop laughing at each other.

“When I graduate, I’m going to fly to the moon!” San exclaimed as he flopped onto the bed.

“That’s so lame! When I graduate, I’m going to travel to the North Pole and South Pole and place a slice of bread on both poles respectively.” Wooyoung announced before lying on the bed right beside San.

“What is the damn purpose of that?” San asked skeptically.

“To make a giant sandwich. Duh!” Wooyoung remarked, sending both of them into a fit of loud laughter.

“That’s actually a better idea! I’ll join you.” San replied and Wooyoung nodded.

Silence was evident between the two after that. They lay beside each other, enjoying the soft muffled blast of music behind the closed door that calmed their rapidly beating hearts. San turned his head to his side and came eye to eye with Wooyoung’s side profile. Calling Wooyoung attractive was an understatement. In San’s eyes, nothing could ever compare to his friend. He was an utterly breathtaking boy with a heart of gold, a heart-melting smile and a personality like no other.

Wooyoung was perfect.

San’s eyes trailed down Wooyoung’s face. He took in his beautifully shaped fox eyes, well-sculpted nose and plump lips that were screaming to be kissed.

The boy beside San felt San’s gaze burning into him and he turned to face his friend. Wooyoung felt heat rush to his face as he tried to maintain eye-contact with San.

“Can I kiss you?” San asked softly, his gaze jumping between Wooyoung’s eyes and lips.

No words were exchanged before San felt Wooyoung’s lips on his.

You see Choi San, the kiss that night was magical. That entire night, was magical.

I thought I had found my purpose to be happy and to live. My purpose and source of happiness was you.

But as we all know, life is a fucking bitch.

The happiness was short-lived because as soon as I walked onto the school campus, all eyes were on me, for the second fucking time.

Deja fucking vu.

I was not aware of the reason behind the stares I was getting but the moment I reached my locker, everything fell into its place.

Jung Wooyoung is a faggot.

Those words were spray painted across my locker in bright red, and as if the whole incident could not get any worse, a picture of me kissing a half-naked was pasted on the door of my locker.

But I was not just kissing any boy. I was kissing you, Choi San.

Things on that night of the party must have gotten really heated, escalating to us having to discard our shirts to the floor and envelop ourselves in each other’s limbs, lips still attached.

From what I heard from Hongjoong, not only was that picture plastered on my locker publicly for everyone to see, but someone had sent that picture to every student in the whole school.

What a lovely digital souvenir.

I tried to find you, but you avoided me throughout the entire school day. It was only until after the last bell had rang and after everyone had left the school campus that I found you alone in the art room.

I tried to talk to you, to ask you how you were holding up and to ask if we were still friends.

Or if we had more than that, despite the picture being circulated around.

But you told me to fuck off, and I still remember the rage in your eyes.

You continued to argue about how one picture could destroy a person’s life. You told me that I probably did not know how that felt because I was a good-for-nothing attention seeker who was already messed up enough.

But I knew, San. I knew how much a picture could do. I knew that a picture could make someone lose a job, a scholarship, a friendship and even a life.

I understood that you would be angry, so I let your take your anger out on me. Besides, I dragged you into this mess. If I had said no and not kissed you, maybe all this would not have happened.

Maybe I would still be alive.

“Fuck.” San whispered to himself, his voice quivering as tears began to cascade uncontrollably down his face.

But everything happens for a reason, and all of this was probably for the better. We stopped hanging out to avoid being publicly shamed and I stopped coming over so that your mother would not have to worry about cooking dinner for me.

Even though we distanced ourselves, I still listened to that one song by Coldplay. It was the song that kept me going and it always made me feel that you were still around me.

However, that spark apparently could not last forever.

So thank you, San. Thank you for being my best friend, my second home and the brightest component of my life. Thank you for treating me with respect and love. Thank you for breaking me out of my shell, and thank you for being there when nobody else was.

Thank you for being my first kiss. Thank you for being the second reason to wipe my physical existence off this planet.

Lots of love,

Jung Wooyoung

San never made it to his classes that day. He walked back home to his room and proceeded to cry himself to sleep.

#ateez fics #ateez angst #ateez imagines #ateez au #ateez scenarios #ateez san #ateez seonghwa #ateez yeosang #ateez mingi #ateez jongho #ateez hongjoong #kpop #ateez fanfic #fanfic #ateez smau #ateez yunho #ateez wooyoung #ateez

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lee-scribbles-and-doodles · 3 years

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My Top Ten Overlooked Movies With Female Leads In No Particular Order

Note: When you see this emoji (⚠️) I will be talking about things people may find triggering, which are spoilery more often then not. I mention things that I think may count as triggers so that people with them will be aware before going in to watch any of these.

Edited: 3/16/21

Hanna (2011)

So, before I get into why you should watch this movie, I just want to take a moment to say why it's near and dear to my heart. Growing up as a queer kid in the early 2000s, seeing portrayals of people like or similar to myself on anything was rare at best. It was mostly in more "adult" movies or shows that my parents would occasionally let me watch with them that I'd see any lgbtq+ rep at all. Often times they were either walking stereotypes, designed to be buried, evil, or all three.

Then here comes this PG-13 action thriller with a wonderfully written main female lead who, at the time, was close to my age, and who got to kiss another girl (her very first friend, Sophie) on screen in an extremely tender and heartwarming scene. To say the least, it was a life changing moment for me personally.

Now that I've gotten that out of the way, Hanna is a suspenseful movie about a child super-soldier named, you guessed it, Hanna (played by Saoirse Ronan) and her adoptive (?) father Erik Heller (played by Eric Bana) exiting the snowy and isolated wilderness of their home and taking on the shadowy CIA operative, Marissa Wiegler (played by Cate Blanchette) who wants Erik dead and Hanna for herself for mysterious reasons.

It also has an amazing soundtrack by the Chemical Brothers, great action scenes, and it has an over arching fairytale motif, which I'm always a sucker for.

⚠️ Mild blood effects, some painful looking strikes, various character deaths, and child endangerment all feature in this film. However, given its PG-13 rating, a majority of viewers are presumably able to handle this one. Still, be aware of these going in.

Sidenote: It's recently gotten a TV adaptation on Amazon TV, although I have not watched it, and do not know if Hanna and Sophie's romantic/semi-romantic relationship has transferred over.

A Simple Favor

A Simple Favor is a "black-comedy mystery thriller" centered entirely around the relationship between two mothers, the reclusive, rich, mysterious, and regal Emily (played by Blake Lively), and the local recently widowed but plucky mommy blogger, Stephanie (played by Anna Kendrick). When Emily suddenly goes missing, Stephanie takes it upon herself to find out what happened to her new best friend.

It's a fantastic and entertaining movie throughout, with fun, flawed and interesting characters. The relationship between the two female leads is also implied to be at least somewhat romantic in nature, and they even share a kiss.

⚠️ The only major warnings I can think of is that the movie contains an instance of incest and one of the main plotlines revolves around child abuse, although both of these potentially triggering topics are not connected to each other, so there is thankfully no csa going on.

Edit: I legitimately forgot there was drug use in this movie until now. So, yeah, if that's a trigger, be careful of that.

I Am Mother

I became mildly obsessed with this movie when it came out. I Am Mother is a sci-fi film that centers entirely around a cast of two woman, and a female-adjacent robot who is brought to life on screen with absolutely amazing practical effects.

The plot is such, after an extinction-level event, a lone robot known only as Mother tasks herself with replenishing the human race via artifical means. She begins with the film's main protagonist, Daughter. Years go by as Mother raises her human child and the two prepare for Daughter's first sibling (a brother) to be born. However, on Daughter's 16th birthday, the arrival of an outsider known only as Woman shakes Daughter's entire world view. She begins to question Mother's very nature, as well as what's really going on outside the bunker she and her caretaker call home.

⚠️ This movie features child endangerment and reference to child death.

Lilo and Stitch

When I decided to add a single Disney film to this list I initially thought it was going to be hard but almost immediately my brain went to Lilo and Stitch, and specifically about the relationship between Lilo and Nani.

On the surface, this film is about a lonely little girl accidentally adopting a fugitive alien creature as a "dog," but underneath that the story is also about two orphaned sisters and the older sister's attempts to not let social services tear them apart by stepping up as the younger sister's primary guardian. Despite its seemingly goofy premise, Lilo and Stitch has a very emotional and thoughtful center. It's little wonder how this movie managed to spawn an entire franchise.

Despite the franchise it spawned (or possibly because of it), I often find that Lilo and Stitch is overlooked and many people only remember it for the "little girl adopts an alien as a pet" portion of its plot, and I very rarely see it on people's top 10 Disney lists.

⚠️ This movie could be potentially triggering to people who were separated from their siblings or other family members due to social service intervention. There's also a bit of child endangerment, including a scene where Lilo and Stitch both almost drown.

Nausicaä and the Valley of the Wind

Unlike the above entry, I did struggle a little bit with picking a single Studio Ghibli film. Most media of the Ghibli catalogue have strong, well-written, unique, and interesting female leads so selecting just one seemed like quite the task.

However, I eventually settled on this particular film. In recent months, Princess Nausicaä has become my absolute favorite Ghibli protagonist and I'm absolutely enchanted by the world she lives in.

Set in a post-apocalyptic world overun by giant insects and under threat of a toxic forest and its poisoness spores, Nausicaä must try to protect the Valley of the Wind from invaders as she also tries to understand the science behind the toxic forest and attempts to bridge the gap between the insects and the humans.

For those who have never seen the film, I think Nausicaä's personality can best be described as being similar to OT Luke Skywalker. Both are caring, compassionate, and gentle souls who are able to see the best in nearly anyone or anything. She's an absolutely enthralling protagonist and after rewatching the film again for the first time in well over a decade she has easily become one of my all time favorite protagonists.

Whenever I see people talk about Ghibli films, they rarely mention this one, and when they do mention it, it's often in passing. In my opinion it's a must watch.

⚠️ This movie contains some blood, and the folks who either don't like insects or who have entomophobia may not appreciate the giant bugs running about throughout the movie. (Although most insects do not directly relate to real life bugs, and are fantasy creatures).

A Silent Voice

A Silent Voice is an animated movie adaptation of a manga of the same name. While I've never had the pleasure to read the manga, the movie is phenomenal. It covers topics such a bullying, living in the world with a disability, the desire for atonement, social anxiety, and depression in a well thought out manner that ties itself together through the progression of the relationship between its two leads, Shoya and Shouko. It's also beautifully animated. Although very popular among anime viewers, I've noticed that it's often overlooked by people who watch little to no anime. So I suppose this is me urging non-anime viewers to give this film a chance.

⚠️ As mentioned above, the movie deals with bullying, anxiety, and depression (with this last one including suicidal thoughts and behaviour). If discussion of those topics are triggering to you, than you may want to proceed with caution or skip this movie all together.

In This Corner of The World

Another manga adaptation, this one taking place during WWII-era Japan. In This Corner of The World follows the life of a civilian Japanese woman, Suzu Urano, as she navigates simply living and her new marriage as the wartime invades nearly all aspects of everyday life. I think this movie is a good representation of what it must be like to be living as civilian in a country at war where the fight is sometimes fought on one's own soil. It was also an interesting look into pre-50s Japanese culture in my opinion. It's also beautifully animated featuring an art style I don't see often.

Despite it being well known among anime fans, I never really see it be brought up, even among said anime fans themselves.

Side note: I've seen many WWII dramas centering around civilians but they've almost always been about American or UK civilians. This was the first movie I'd seen that features the perspective of a Japanese civilain.

⚠️ Features the death of a child and limb loss. There's also a disturbing scene featuring a victim of one of the atomic bombs near the end.

Wolf Children: Ame and Yuki

This film follows Hana, a Japan-native woman who fell in love with a magical shape-shifting wolf-man, and her trials with raising their children, who can also magically shape-shift into wolves, on her own. It's a very heartfelt movie about a mother's love and the struggles of doing right by your children when you have limited resources to actively guide and care for them. All the characters feel unique and alive in my opinion. Also, the animation is so good that my sister and I initially mistook it for a Ghibli film.

Again, like the previous two anime entries, I don't see it ever brought up outside of anime circles.

⚠️ There's some child endangerment present in the film, although none of it is the fault of Hana as far as I can remember.

Roman Holiday

Roman Holiday is about the fictional Princess Ann (played by Audrey Hepburn), who while on a whirlwind tour of Europe, finally reaches her breaking point over having her entire life be one big schedule and all her words and actions being rehearsed. In the spur of the moment, she runs away in hopes of experiencing what life is like for other women. Unfortunately, she was previously given a sedative, meaning she doesn't get too far before it takes effect. Fortunately, she is found by the kind reporter Joe Bradley (played by Gregory Peck). Believing her to be drunk and unable to get an address from her (because she has none) he ends up taking her home for safety's sake and allows her to sleep off her suppose drunken stupor. The next day, he realizes who she is, and decides to take her on a fun sight seeing trip across Rome in hopes of getting the big scoop. Along the way, they begin to fall for each other.

This is my favorite black and white, old romance film. I think the relationship between the main characters is absolutely beautiful and I have a lot of fun watching it.

⚠️ I'm not entirely sure what kind of warning this film would need. However, it was released in 1953, so values dissonance will probably be at play for many viewers to at least some extent. For example, early in the film Ann is given sedation drugs by her doctor for her behavior, something that is very unlikely to happen today. Also, Mr Bradley deciding to take Ann home to keep her safe rather than call the police or an ambulance is a very pre-90s decision in my opinion.

#hanna 2011 #a simple favor #i am mother #lilo and stitch #nausicaä of the valley of the wind #a silent voice #in this corner of the world #wolf chilren ame and yuki #wolf children #roman holiday #black and white film #anime #disney #studio ghibli #movie recs #top 10

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ohnothewheatisonfire · 4 years

Text

ok J&H Fandom, let’s talk:

“Popular” blog @thatsmyhyde is a prominent creator in the J&H Fandom. But here’s where the problem shows up:

the content they make is concerning at least, and full of red flags at worst.

DISCLAIMER: This is all information I have gathered through their tumblr blog - I am not aware of what other things they may be posting on other social medias or their written work. ANOTHER DISCLAIMER: Please be polite, I am a minor, and am just creating this post to ward off / warn other minors from following this person. If you are an adult interacting with this post and blog, be mindful of your actions and be responsible

Trigger warnings for: discussions of homophobia, discussions of p//phillia, fat-shaming, fat-phobia (?), etc. Just be on general edge for this post, we’re talking about a lot of weird stuff

I will be linking their posts as I am not going to take screenshots of their art.

This is not a comprehensive list of all the things they’ve done - these are the ones I could think of and was able to adress. If you have anything additional you want to add to this post (such as concerning things they may do on other social media), feel free to reblog and add on the things you need to say, just please don’t be dumb.

Let’s start with the premise: Henry Jekyll creates an alter ego, Edward Hyde. They begin a relationship - an emotional and physical one. Their AU features Jekyde (A popular ship in the fandom, the name stands for Jekyll x Hyde), people have various views on this ship.

So far so fine, right? Here are the problems:

1. Their Henry Jekyll is an awful person. Now, let’s start by saying that of course you can have bad people in your works, those are, after-all: villains. The problem is,Henry Jekyll is a harmful walking gay sterotype, and an outlet for Biscuit’s obvious fat fetish. But their relationship isn’t just toxic it’s romanticised in how toxic it is.

a. The harmful stereotype - Their Henry Jekyll has a “thing” for younger men, even though he is in his middle-ages, and Hyde looks like a young child. (Age gap relationships are their own thing - they come with their own burdens, and this is not the post to discuss them. This topic will lead into the Edward Hyde section of this post.) But, it was a known homophobic scare-mongering tactic of straight parents to accuse everyone who is gay that they are ‘out to prey on your youths’. This is a stereotype that stigmatized the LGBT community, and still harmfully affects them to this day.

b. The fat fetish: Jekyll is frequently seen with cake (as seen here, here, and here) or being self-loathing, to the point of suicide. (click the link here to acess a list of suicide and other crisis hotlines! you matter to me!). Now, the self-loathing could be a symptom of depression or other mental illness, so I am not going to talk about it, as a person with mental illnesses. But the self-loathing in addition to him being fat is not good. Media is drowning in the “self-loathing fat person” and as someone who isn’t thin i’m tired of seeing this.

- The fetish aspect comes in him constantly being referred to “Chonky”, a term usually used for overweight/obese cats and being drawn obsessed with cake. It fetishises his weight and dehumanises him into something people call their animals. Also, here’s more of Jekyll eating food and being embarassed by it, though this time because it’s seen as “servant’s food”.

- Biscuit admits to liking them “Big and chunky” in posts like this.

[Photo id: A string of texts that says: tantok, frankenstein, twink lore, dorian slipped through the cracks and got himself sketched by yours truly the other day because he brought lord henry along, he and the slime didn’t have to fight to the death because they’ve both got their own chonky old toxic henries to focus on, but this blog still ain’t big enough for the two of ‘em. end id]

- They also talk about how they ‘prefer’ to draw fat (chonky) people. Image attatched above. the thing that should be noticed is that they say ‘chonky old toxic henries’ . they, once again, are making fat people a fetish.

[Photo id: Anonymous asks: are you gonna make a victor design tho biscuit responds: Oh, man, anon, I hate to disappoint but.....probably not. Aside from my non-humanoids and hellspwans (slime gremlins, corpse creatures, and etcetera), I’m extremely uninterested in drawing young thin men. I really need middle-aged chonk to hold my attention. If poor Victor Frankenstein had only been 40-something and round when he made his great creation, then he’d definitely get a design from yours truly. As it is though, he’s not holding my attention enough to want to. end id]

Biscuit once again talks about how he doesn’t want to draw ‘thin men’, because he is only interested in older ‘round’ people. He, is, once again, bringing to light his fetish for fat people.

2. Edward Hyde is basically a child - Edward Hyde is drawn in boy’s school clothes, is taken in and raised like a child after Jekyll’s death, and is constantly cooed over by the creator, even earning a nickname of ‘slime’ from them. In addition, he also has ‘family photos’ taken with Utterson, has his toenails kept, is the height of a child, and teeths. This, paired with the fact that he is in a toxic, abusive, relationship with a man in his middle ages is concerning and should not be romanticised.

[Photo id: the text reads: In his first year of existence, Hyde lost teeth and regrew them in a mildly similar fashion to a kid losing baby teeth - except it wasn’t all of his teeth (Just the canines and some random molars) and they weren’t replaced with a larger set, just with teeth exactly the same as the ones that had been lost. No one knows what was up with this. the teeth are still in Jekyll’s study in a little jar. end id]

a. Hyde is treated like a child after Jekyll’s death. Hyde teething is concerning because that’s something infants do. He also clings to utterson like a child. The idea that he gets taken in by Utterson, whisked away to an estate out in the country, despite both of them having romantic feelings for Jekyll is. how do I put this: WEIRD. (seriously, imagine your father/father-figure dating ur significant other / having a crush on them before you two got together and after).

b. Hyde dresses like a child, whilst being sexually active and wearing lingerie. Now, on their own, these traits aren’t a problem - but together? They are very much a problem.

- Hyde dressing as a child is concerning because he is also treated like a child at certain points in their “lore”. After Jekyll’s death, Hyde becomes a singular entity, and is taken away by Utterson. To care for, like a child. This post sums it up well: he wears both children’s clothes and lingerie.

- Hyde has a very strange appearance - if you compare it to his early design (which was less cartoony and looked more like a man in his twenties), Hyde’s current design is concerning. Why does he have the height of a child? Why does he have eyes that take up a grand part of his face? Now, one could argue that ‘he is not human’ - but if he is treated like a human, whilst wearing children’s/youthful clothes, teeths, and his general enchanment with the world - he appears as human (and looks eerily similar to a child), which is why him being sexually active, wearing lingerie, and being friendly with prostitutes (one that gave him underwear and other articles of clothing) is concerning.

- That said, Utterson is directly talked about being ‘adopted into gremlin fatherhood’ (paraphrasing).

[Photo id: the text reads: 59. Jekyll is irresitibly attracted to everything about Hyde, but if he could somehow be forced to list hte most attractive physical attributes of Edward Hyde in his opinion, aside from Hyde’s youthful appearance in general it would be his eyes, his overbite (Jekyll perceived the way Hyde’s-) the screenshot cuts of the rest of the paragraph. end id]

- Jekyll has a ‘thing’ for younger men. This is to the point that the most attractive part about Hyde is that he is young. (or looks like it), Hyde looking very young is concerning because that would make their verison of Doctor Jekyll a p*dophille . This is something the artist has either not recognized, realised, or simply does not acknowledge.

3. The toxic relationship (and how it’s romanticised) - The relationship in this ‘AU’ is: love comes first, toxic nature comes second. If you scroll through the blog you may see some reference of ‘Henry Jekyll is such a toxic person teehee’ and a lot of them kissing, being together, smiling, or enjoying life. Now, obviously, an artist - if they do not want to - should not draw characters being toxic to each other. But it is concerning when the above points come into a factor, that the toxic nature of their relationship comes second to the highs of their relationship, at least on their blog.

Here is one of the only examples I’ve seen of Biscuit talk about the relationship in a detailed negative light.

4. The fandom - Whilst Biscuit says it’s ok for minors to interact with his blog (in that blog he says that he tags nsfw - which is true.) he does not regularly mention that his jekyde is toxic - not in a concerete way. He romanticises it (despite acknowledging it’s flaws), and the only way it may or may not be (i would not know) acknowledged is his fic: which is mature and not meant for minors. He does not tag his posts with regular triggers for things like: alcohol, drugs, mental illnesses, or abuse (any variants). They’re not even in his blog’s description! If Biscuit had acknowledged it in his blog, something along the lines of: “Hey! This blog has <content warnings> be warned when interacting! But no, he does not.

- A lot of the people who draw things, or generally interact with Biscuit are minors. Being exposed to such a thing may be harmful to my peers, and I am worried. To minors who are fans of Biscuit: if you’ve made it this far, thank you, I know you’re mature and responsible, but being exposed to content creators like Biscuit could lead you down a dangerous path of having this kind of thing normalised to you. Be careful with the content you consume, please! And thank you for making it this far, I’m sure you’re a lovely person :)!

Thank you for taking the time to read this! Stay safe, tell the people you love that you love them.

#J&H #jekyll and hyde #henry jekyll #edward hyde #i spent months thinking whether or not to write this #but #i'm worried about fellow minors on this website seeing this user's blog #and not thinking critically about this #so i snapped and made this #long post #like r e a l l y long post #i am so tired.#brb to answer the hate lmao i need to throw up #forgive me if by the end of this post i sound exhausted : i am #i spent this evening writing this post #goth lit fandom grow up challenge #aus do not remove the context of the original #listen to the minorities if they call you out #fiction REALLY AFFECTS REALITY

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inevitably-johnlocked · 3 years

Note

can we adress how toxic some of these self/harm and suicide fics are?? as someone who has struggled with these issues, treating them as just a way for the two characters to get together, or one character to be the savior who cures someone of their problems? I'm so frickin over it. continuing to put your partner in limbo by threatening this behavior when they don't give you enough attention is a symptom of something major. This is not something i like seeing romanticized. at all.

[CONTENT WARNING FOR ENTIRE POST: heavy discussions of trauma, suicide, self harm, depression, political issue mentions, and eating disorders. Please proceed with care. I am not cutting the post because I think the message is important, so scroll past until my icon disappears <3 Stay safe, My Lovelies.]

Hey Nonny

Okay, I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt here because you mention you DO have struggles with these issues, so I’m going to state right up front here and say I AM NOT DISREGARDING YOUR PERSONAL EXPERIENCE AT ALL. Your view of this topic is valid, and it’s not something I am ever going to say is wrong for you.

I would like to offer an olive branch, here, Nonny, and give you an alternative take on this, because I’m concerned that perhaps you are still coping with your own struggles and in return, you unwittingly and unintentionally are coming off as unsympathetic to other people’s coping mechanisms.

I KNOW how hard it is to see another view when yours is the only one that seems right, especially after a tragedy or after dealing with heavy things. But all I am asking is for you to temporarily extend some empathy as I discuss my thoughts in this post, and I apologize in advance if I come off as dickish, because, again, it’s hard to see past your own feelings, and I tend to give a “firm but understanding” approach to asks like this. It’s NOT meant to call you our personally. Just asking for an open mind.

I will tackle this ask in a similar fashion to this post here, which talks about shipping vs fetishization so CW for that, as well as like this post here, where we discuss pet peeves. My assumption here is that Nonny is unsure about what “romanticizing” actually entails, and how much this ask is basically Gatekeeping Fiction 101, a thing that’s been going on since the beginning of storytelling. The ask is perceived by me to be emotionally unaware of how unsympathetic it actually sounds, and in turn can unintentionally upset people who engage in these stories.

First thing’s first, Nonny, and I said it before, I GET IT. I understand what you’re going for here, why you feel it’s toxic, and why you think it shouldn’t exist. Here’s the thing, though: what you’re ACTUALLY calling for here is censorship and gatekeeping because YOU PERSONALLY take issue with something, want the fandom specially curated just for you, because it PERSONALLY OFFENDS YOU. And that, it itself, is what’s really toxic, here. Just because YOU are offended, does not mean that it’s not helpful to SOMEONE ELSE, and it’s selfish to make such a demand of people.

Let me explain.

As I mention in the link above re: shipping, many people read and write fics to cope with the reality of their own experiences. Nonny, your experience is NOT the same as someone else’s. Your pain is NOT universal, and you DON’T KNOW what that author has been through; for all you know, they spent 6 months in-hospital after attempting suicide, and they are now simply processing their trauma through storytelling.

Or, “continuing to put your partner in limbo by threatening this behavior when they don't give you enough attention” ? It’s a VERY REAL THING that ACTUALLY happens in real life, and perhaps it happened to that author, or they want to write an alternate ending to their pain.

Or, “one character to be the saviour who cures someone of their problems?” is something a suicide survivor WISHES someone did for them. Because they feel alone in the world and don’t want to be alone anymore.

These stories are simply escapism for people, either to learn about or share what these mental illnesses do to people, or are the “fantasies” of survivors, of their ideal outcome to their own tragedies. Coping with guilt over the loss of someone they feel they could have saved. The brutal truth about realty.

And sometimes, it is because some people need a good cry and a feel-good happy ending, because real life? Well, it rarely has those happy endings and so few opportunities to let us cry, and sometimes life is just easier when we view it through the eyes of fictional characters. Do you not want someone to save you sometimes Nonny? And I mean metaphorically here, too. Someone to just take all of your hellish burdens off those shoulders for one day. Someone who will come in to save you from yourself. I know I do.

And, well, sometimes, Nonny, it makes people feel less alone in this socially distanced world.

They’re not glorifying that issue Nonny. They’re telling their story.

Here are some thoughts:

Romanticization: Some trendy teen outlet selling a shirt with “mentally diseased” written across it.

NOT Romanticization: A character in a story coming to terms with a diagnosis of mental illness and learning ways to adapt. Their partner is involved 100% and they learn together.

Romanticization: Sherlock merchandise being sold with “I’m a high functioning sociopath” (not mention ableist as all heck)

NOT Romanticization: A character self-harms because of depression, and character B helps the character through their pain and together they get proper therapy and treatment.

Romanticization: Calling yourself “OMG I’m so bipolar!” because it’s trendy.

NOT Romanticization: A clinically depressed author, who survived a suicide attempt, wanting to tell their story through characters the world is already familiar with, and one that a touchy subject can be expressed and understood by other people, because they’re not ready to write the “real” book. Fandom is a safety net for them.

See what I mean Nonny? We don’t KNOW what kind of pain these authors have PERSONALLY been through, and to censor them from having their voices heard and their stories told is just not on for me.

And let me be clear: YES OF COURSE romanticization happens EVERYWHERE. I am not denying that. But your ask is coming off like EVERY STORY EVER WRITTEN is glorification of something. By your logic:

Disabled people shouldn’t write about their disabilities because they’re romanticising themselves.

The authors with medical degrees shouldn’t write realistic med-fics because some where in the world, ONE person MAY HAVE had a similar experience as Character A and B.

Someone broke their foot in ballet so they shouldn’t write a story about a ballet dancer who broke their hip because it may offend ONE ballerina SOMEWHERE in space and time who got sideline at the prime of their career?

Stories about LGBT+ people shouldn’t be written because homophobes think it’s icky.

We shouldn’t write about wizards because it offends high school catholic pastors (an actual thing that happened)?

How about cancer stories because kids die of cancer all the time?

Non-fiction autobiographies about holocaust survivors is not okay.

Science books offend flat earthers, so we shouldn’t write those.

Books about the Big Bang and a 4.5 billion-year-old earth offends creationists, so burn those.

A now-adult child rape victim writing their survival stories to help get their often-in-power abusers behind bars are taboo.

True crime stories from detectives on those cases shouldn’t be told because they weren’t the victim.

Non-fiction in general because someone somewhere may have had that one singular thing happen to them.

How about coping with grief over a parent’s sudden death because I personally might find offense in that since that was a horridly traumatic experience in my life?

Do you see how progressively out of touch this argument is? (the answer to all of these: authors should be allowed to write them, because stories make us human). Your argument leads down the very dangerous path to censorship of books, the internet, and history... to have people only read and learn what someone else dictates, leading to... well.

I’m not trying to be a dick here, Nonny, I’m really not. But I think you’re really missing the entire point of fiction and story telling. I feel you’re failing in the empathy game here, and failing to understand what romanticizing really actually is.

Whenever I get asks like this, I always feel like the Nonnies don’t really know much about pre-Ao3. I come from “early internet” fandom age, and I’m talking before tags existed. Back when I had to go buy a book at Coles and guess what was in it based on a cover description. No “amazon reviews”. No “harmful content warning” stickers. You just picked up that book, and sometimes you get a sweet story about a friends exploring an alien landscape, and other times WHOOOPS ACCIDENTAL ALIEN SEX I DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR. And sometimes, it ended with a dark story about death, and the reality of coping with it.

Twenty years ago, books on the shelves at bookstores and libraries were the only place you could do your reading and they certainly do NOT have tags on them... Modern tagging of stories are a REALLY recent thing introduced probably no less than 15 years ago and was perfected by Ao3 (which was started in 2009).

These days, there is no excuse if you only consume fanfiction on Ao3. Fics are tagged with proper possible-trigger tags 90% of the time. They have a VERY METICULOUS filtering system. You aren’t being forced to read the fics, you don’t have to read the fics, so use those tag filters, they exist for a reason.

So, with that in mind, I genuinely DON’T GET this attitude about people wanting everything sugar coated and saccharine by default. Especially when you can LITERALLY CURATE YOUR OWN CONTENT. Life isn’t sugar coated. And fiction shouldn’t have to be either. People tag fics with triggers for a reason.

As they used to say back in my early internet days: Don’t like it? Don’t read it. Don’t comment, skip, next story.

And to put this ALL into perspective, so that you don’t think I’m talking out of my ass, I’m going to reveal something here: Do you know what fics I can’t read, Nonny, because they trigger me? Eating disorders. That’s self harm, Nonny, in a very different way. But you know what? I know that those fics DO help other ED people so I’m not going to sit her and tell people NOT to rec or write them. And some of those authors who write those stories are processing their own ED through those stories, healing in their own way. And you know what I do when I see one of those fics? I don’t read them, move on, next story.

I’m sorry if you perceive this as me being harsh with you here, Nonny, and you DON’T have to agree with me and you can block me and never talk to me again, and I’ll understand. As I stated at the beginning, I’m offering an alternative perspective, and helping you to see that some people take comfort in these types of stories.

I think what this all boils down to Nonny, after all of this, and rereading your question a final time to see if I missed covering anything, is that (and feel free to shit on me if I am wrong here) I’m getting the impression – as an unprofessional outsider looking in – that you’re still struggling with your inner demons, whether you realize it or not. The tone and brashness of your ask has me believing this... It feels like it was written after a trigger-moment and you needed to vent AT someone because you are alone, and that hurts my heart so much. I truly hope you find peace in your mind, soon, and I hope you have someone to talk to professionally, or at least a friend. (tw under link, suicidal ideation discussion and links to phone numbers that can help you). I only wish the best for you, my Nonny.

Anyway. I welcome other people to chime in here, respectfully, and let me know if I have the wrong take here. Because I genuinely don’t think I do, but I am not a professional, so my entire thing that took me 3 hours to write here is probably moot. I’m especially interested (on anon in my asks if you’re not comfy with revealing yourselves) on thoughts from other people who have survived the original topics here, as well as any therapists and authors as well.

Take care of yourself Nonny. And please curate your own content for your mental health. Ao3 has an “exclusionary tag system” as well, please use it. *hugs*

#steph replies #suicide cw #censorship #self harm cw #chatting with nonnies #Anonymous #eating disorders tw #depression cw #romanticization #my thoughts #i am not a professional #long post

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surrepo-iuvenisdomina · 2 years

Text

rules: conduct

BEGIN.

Before we start, I would like you to have certain things in mind when approaching me ooc. I am very shy and quite awkward, which results in me not being much of a talker; however, I will always try my best to be friendly to whoever wants to approach. I dislike pet names so please do not use them with me unless we are very close. There will be times when I’m just exhausted, so my wording could sound rude/aggressive, to which I apologize in advance -I never mean to hurt people’s feelings. I also reserve the right to interact with WHOEVER I want, and pestering me about it will only get you blocked.

Last updated March 1st, 2022.

I. BASIC.

A. This blog is: Selective / Independent / NSFW / Mutuals only / Fewship / Multiverse / AU, Crossover, OC, and Multimuse friendly

B. I am a very slow rper for many reasons —school, family, my ever-fluctuating mood —and I would appreciate it if you refrained from hounding me for replies. In return I offer as much patience as necessary. Think of this blog as low activity please.

C. English is not my mother language so I apologize in advance for any mistakes made.

D. I track the tag #surrepoiuvenisdomina (note the lack of the hyphen on the tag. Using it makes it quite difficult to track things, which is why I’ll ask you not to use it), although mentioning me works just as fine.

E. Constructive criticism is always welcome but anon hate will be immediately deleted. I have no problems if you disagree with my portrayal, but it doesn’t give you the right to harass me.

F. Mun and muse are both over 18, so there are chances that heavy content will be present; however I won’t be writing smut. I can roleplay anything before or after the act if requested, but the moment things get far too explicit, I’ll do a fade-to-black. I ask of you to not lie about your age or else you’ll be blocked indefinitely.

G. This is a HEAVILY headcanon-based blog, and changes are likely to be made as/if more information is revealed about Kaya. .

H. If you’d like to turn an ask into a thread, you can turn it into a new post, or reblog from me, as I won’t be using the Tumblr asks anymore due to the problems that come with formatting and such.

I. Ask box is open for everyone ic or ooc, but you aren’t allowed to turn it into a thread and nor I will reply to it if we’re not mutuals. Please don’t push me, because I won’t hesitate to block.

J. No godmoding —only a minor is allowed if it moves a thread forward —or metagaming, please, but most importantly, don’t hold your muse back.

K. Discord is available for mutuals upon request.

L. Just because I write something it does not mean I condone it. Please have this in mind and again, do not pester me about it. Any and all nsfw matters will be tagged accordingly. There will be triggering topics present, and you can know more about this on the section below.

M. DO NOT involve me in drama or call-out posts. I’m heavily against both things. On this note, you’ll never see me rebloging a call-out post. This culture is so damaging and toxic, and I firmly believe no one should play the role of the judge for the good of the community just because you had issues with someone or don’t agree with the things they roleplay. Talk things privately, be mature about it, hard-block the person and move on. I am also very aware that a lot of people have done things that can’t be excused, but I like to believe that people can change for the better. If you try to drag me into it, I’ll hard block any and all people involved indefinitely.

II. TRIGGERS.

A. They will be tagged as trigger tw, trigger / and trigger cw.

B. I do my best to stay up to date with my mutuals’ triggers. Your comfort is way more important to me than you might think, so never be hesitant to approach me via IM, (anonymous) ask or stop following me.

C. Triggers that are likely to appear, although some more than others: abuse || depression || blood || death || drugs || suicide attempt || body image || medical equipment || suggestive content || etc

D. I have no triggers, so you are free to go wild with your content. I only ask you remember to tag your nsfw (both written and visual), please.

III. INTERACTIONS.

A. Mun does not equal muse. Our opinions are unlikely to be the same, and her actions have little to nothing to do with how I feel/what I think, so you, as the mun, have no reason to take things personal, because I’m won’t follow someone I don’t like; if you DO take it personal however, and decide to rouse drama, then I’ll be hard-blocking you. Goes for me as well —I have no reason to get angry for any of the things noted above.

B. My bonds page displays the relationships that have been built over time, not necessarily through interaction alone but over plotting as well. Refer to it for more information.

C. I’m selective when it comes to interacting with OCs related to canon characters, but it doesn’t mean I won’t follow unless there’s a overly detailed and extensive about page, I just ask that said connection it’s within the possibilities of the OP universe. Just as I’m more open about following, I’m also willing to discuss and even modify my canon with OCs related to Kaya as long as it’s within reason.

D. Formatting isn’t a big thing across my blogs, save for the small text. Please don’t mix either sup/sub with small text when writing with me, as I have eyesight problems. Don’t use colored text either.

E. Non-romantic pre-established relationships are allowed! Just make sure to talk it out with me first, yeah?

F. You don’t need to match my writing length as long as I’m given enough to work with. If something about my reply bothers or doesn’t work with you, let me know and I’ll re-work it.

G. I really enjoy plotting scenarios or talking out about the relationships my muse could have with other muses, so hit me up if you’ve got any ideas! I’ll try to do the same!

H. I don’t use a threadtracker because I rely on my memory (terrible mistake, I know), but I try to draft people’s replies as soon as I see them. If by any reason it seems like I lost it, then please let me know / send me a link with it and I’ll be deeply grateful.

J. I don’t do nor reply to greetings starters for matters of my own comfort, so I ask of you to never expect a starter or a reply from them.

IV. SHIPPING.

A. Fewship. Every relationship is separate from the others in different universes. Exclusivity means I will not ship with a duplicate of x muse

01. Shipping with Kaya will be slow-burn by default, not because she’s oblivious to people making moves on her, but because studying is a major focus on her life. That being said, I won’t discourage your muse from falling for/hitting on her, although I ask you understand she might not respond with the same interest.

02. If my shipping partner is comfortable enough, I’ll interact with duplicates on the condition that the relationship is strictly platonic.

B. Constant interaction, mutual interest, and chemistry are a must for the sake of better communication (both ic and ooc, preferably).

C. Comes without saying, but please do not force ships on me.

V. CELEBRATIONS.

A. First off, I am absolutely terrible at keeping up with dates, and to be frank, I am not the biggest fan of celebrating, which is why I think it’s necessary to say I won’t be partaking in any holidays, not even Kaya’s birthday. Obviously I’ll still reply to any gifts received, and will send out things in return —you know, common courtesy.

B. I won’t be sending out birthday gifts every year, and I might write drabbles for people once in a blue moon; it doesn’t mean they will be done for the specific date though, so please be patient.

VI. REASONS TO NOT FOLLOW BACK / UNFOLLOW.

A. Too much drama / call-outs / vague posts / sexual content.

B. Content makes me uncomfortable.

C. You are a personal blog without a visible rp sideblog. Please make sure it’s easy to find.

D. You do not have a proper tag system.

E. Your blog doesn’t have a rules and about pages.

F. You lack the manners to deal with people respectfully.

G. I have no interest / lost interest.

H. I’m constantly / only used as a meme archive.

I. Other reasons may apply. I will soft block so we can both cease following each other and avoid any potential awkward situations. I won’t make a fuss if you decide to unfollow so I expect the same courtesy.

VII. MISCELLANEOUS.

A. I will never force people to follow me, so if by any reason you have to unfollow/block me, please go ahead. Your comfort matters and have every right to do what you must to ensure your wellbeing. With that said, I will not tolerate and will immediately hard block if you try to police my content.

B. I do not follow back immediately, and it can take me from a few hours to several days to follow back. Do not take it personally if I choose not to.

C. If I follow it’s because I am interested in interacting. I only ask you to be patient because it might take me a while to gather the courage to send something to your inbox or talk to you.

D. I have. ZERO knowledge about medicine. Don’t expect me to go full force and try to be 100% accurate, because I won’t.

E. I practice reblog karma (send a meme to someone if I’m rebloging it from them). If you see something you’d like to reblog but have no intention in sending something yourself, then please reblog from the source.

IX. FINISH.

Thank you for taking the time to read this! As you might have noticed, there’s no password to send. Make sure to check the psa tag for any updates, or don’t hesitate to send an ask if there’s anything unclear! I do my best so as not to post too much OOC posts, but sometimes it just happens. If it’s nothing important, then I’ll erase it whenever I have the chance/remember.

keanu reeves vc: You’re all breathtaking!

#pinned post.#long post #ooc.#queue.#[ i mean it when i say it's a long post ]

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realityshiftingandblogging · 3 years

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My opinion on something in this community.

Okay, I know I said I’m avoiding opinions but I need to get this out before I continue with today fjsbfjsnsk. AFTER THIS IM TAKING A MENTAL BREAK FKSDBFSBF

Tw: Mention of respawning, death, suicide, toxic behavior, cursing and slight mention of abuse.

Heads up before I start, I want to say I am someone who believes it is possible to shift permanently and I also believe your physical body, in no way, can be affected by shifting unless you mean trauma wise because you shifted to somewhere not so mentally friendly and so on. I may change my belief depending on whether it has enough backing or makes sense, logically, to me. So if you’re reading this when i’ve changed my views then you can go “heeeeyyyyy old you” and move on from this post lmao. Anyway here we go!

This "permanently shifting is respawning" BOTHERS ME SO MUCH. I, personally, want to shift permanently because I see no future here, I have no interest here, I am not in a good home situation, and that SHOULD BE valid. To associate people who want to live a better life and live out their dreams in a safer form with something that isn't on the communities best side is going to . . .

1. Spread misinformation on the definition of respawning

-----------------

Ahem, and before I move on let's look at the definition

Respawn: (of a character in a video game) reappear after having being killed.

This could also relate to reincarnation. Let's check that definition too.

Reincarnation: the rebirth of the soul in a new body.

See also "reincarnation, also know as rebirth or transmigration of a living being begins a new life in a different physical form or body. "

----------------

2. Not only will it spread misinformation, those who hop on the "majority belief train" might spread hate towards those who really can't stand to be here.

⚠️ Permanent Shifting and Respawning are two different things. Respawning has no definite security that you will be in your DR, it's too risky. As for permanent shifting, you simply shift and stay. There is no harm to your body or anything and you can ALWAYS come back if you decide to, something respawners cannot do. Permanent Shifting and Respawning are two different things. Comparing those two is like saying shifting in general and Respawning are the same because they both involve leaving this reality. They arent, and you know it. Just because they both stay in their DR doesn't mean they are the same. If you disagree, I have an entire server and a lot of people to back me up that it is not the same. They all agree, it's two different categories. Permanent shifting isn't always permanent and you can come back, there's no harm to you or your body. Respawning isn't guaranteed, nor can you ever come back. There is a big difference. Stop clustering. I spoke with a respawner on Amino who said that Respawning is the disposal of the body AFTER shifting and ties are severed. It is not done by then consciously. Secondly in addition to that, permanent shifting means you can always come back if you change your mind and the ties with this reality is still there. There is a big difference here. ⚠️

People who see no future here are not cruel to their families. People who, at an early age, dreamed of being somewhere else other than 'home' are not cruel. People who want to see their comfort characters and stay there, consciously, are not cruel. It. Isn't. Wrong. It isn't disgusting. It isn't mean. It isn't "mentally ill." If you see it as wrong then tough luck buddy because I don't care. Unfollow me or block me. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

ANOTHER THING THAT IS BOTHERING ME.

Those who shift permanently are not evil, cruel, or stupid. Nor are they harming their old reality/current reality body. And I do not want to hear the "you can't shift permanently without respawning" excuse. Yes, you can. Shifting your conscience has no time limit. It does not in any shape or form, in my mind, make sense logically that there is a time limit where your cr body, which shouldn't have control over you in another reality, just yeets you back.

Why does this community INSIST on just blocking respawners and giving them hate. I don't support it 100% right now, but what I'm saying is don't bash someone who needs your help?? Like I get the whole "I'm going to shift and my CR body will die right after I leave" is unsettling to a lot of people and many might be triggered by the topic. I get that. But ????? Y'all are TOXIC as hell to completely bash these people. (And if you haven’t then good for you ILY here’s a lolipop 💖🥺🍭.) Like??? Yes, you can verbally do that because it’s the internet. But should you, morally? In my opinion, no. If someone is saying they want to dispose of their body and you tell them they aren’t welcome to talk to you, then what the actually HELL.

( I get that someone randomly venting to you is frustrating and mentally draining which can cause worsened depression or a worsened mental state; always ask first before venting unless you need immediate help, kids. So to clarify, that’s not what I’m saying in this context. )

Don’t be a d*ck. Stop hating someone who may even need help. That’s TOXIC AS FUCK. I don’t CARE if you think it’s weird or gross. Belittling, excluding, bullying, etc is invalidating someone who could use information and support and that is DISGUSTANG. I DON’T CARE IF YOU DON’T LIKE WHAT I’M SAYING. Don’t hop on the majority train and stay there because you’re too afraid to voice a different opinion so now you’re going to be a d*ck. It’s not cute nor is it funny. As Michael Jordan said, “Stop it, get some help.”

All I literally ask of anyone reading this is to validate those who you know nothing about. Talk, communicate, and reach out. If you feel uncomfortable with it, that’s fine. If you feel triggered by the topic then that is also fine and VALID. Just don’t be an ass to other people who might feel the same way.

Also as a closing and before I hear “I’ve never seen this issue, you’re just starting shit” kind of thing I will have you know IT DOES HAPPEN. Especially on amino and discord servers I have been on. It does happen. It needs to stop.

Instead of bashing them and then saying they're wrong with no further explanation maybeeee you should try something more decent. For example you could explain to them what respawn is, the effects to those here, how it works, and avoid anything opinionated until they have the facts (I’m going to use facts as a loose term being that we are a small and new community and we still need more scientific backing or experiences to gain more insight). Also you should explain that YOU DONT NEED TO RESPAWN TO STAY IN YOUR DR PERMANETLY. A number one factor, that I have noticed, is they take the risk to respawn because someone failed to inform them that they didn’t need to kill themselves to stay in their DR permanently. Due to this, they take the risk because they would rather do it than ever come back to this reality which may not be kind to them at all. And that is a community failure. Instead of bashing someone who may need help, talk to them. Inform them.

⚠️ALSO FYI some people respawn for spiritual aspects but right now I'm talking about the suicidial part of the respawn community so if you're a spiritual respawner I'm not talking about that, I'm just mentioning the other part. 🧍🏻‍♀️⚠️

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plague-of-insomnia · 3 years

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Lol I *hate* that post. Also like, most people don't read classic lit, and classic lit in general can be critized as being made up of primarily cis, white, straight men. Women and queer authors often have their works shuffled into YA. And fanfic?? Primarily made of of women and queer folk (and queer women). Which... is often what the reasoning is why it's targeted.

Also, children's lit and YA lit are some of the best works I've read. They deal with harsh topics. One of my favorite books from when I was a kid is Gossamer by Lois Lowry. My class read it in fifth grade (so like, 10 year olds) and it dealt heavily with abuse and coping with and recovery from trauma. The book Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson also deals with very dark themes, and it's YA. (Also both very good books and I highly recommend each. Look up the trigger lists for them. When I say they deal with dark subjects, I mean it.)

Fanfic and YA are such broad categories, and to dismiss them shows a clear lack of true understanding of literature. Typically, when people say they dislike them, it boils down to bias against queer people, women, and romance as a genre (which was spear headed by, you guessed it, queers and women).

Also, there's nothing wrong with liking tropes. I like tropes. Everyone likes specific tropes. We've all just been copying off of one another since the beginning of art creation, and we will continue to do so. Just let people enjoy things ffs. Reading is for fun and creating fanfic is for fun. Just because I read or write something doesn't mean I want to base a master's thesis around it

[In reference to this post: TL;DR - people who only read fan fic/YA aren’t capable of understanding/analyzing complex themes bc they’re obsessed with tropes]

Oof! @gabedemon, this is all a really good point/addition to why that OP’s point was 😬.

Now I’ll confess I do not personally like YA as a general rule, largely for two reasons: 1) I don’t like reading about teens and 2) for a while EVERYONE and their grandparents were writing YA to try and hitch onto the bandwagon of popular novels turned films like Harry Potter and The Hunger Games, et al, and so a lot of people were writing stuff just to try and ride a trend rather than bc that’s what they should have been writing/what their story actually wanted.

However, you are 100% right that there are some amazing novels that fall into that broad category and are worth reading whether you’re 15 or 95 (or somewhere in between).

One of the best novels I read before my headache began (and I stopped reading novels 😞) dealt with some really heavy issues (it was focused on suicide) — and it managed to delve into complex mental illness (like BPD, borderline personality disorder) and suicidality in a really realistic and complex way while not glorifying it in anyway. I highly recommend it, if the topic isn’t too tough for you (general you) to deal with, Suicide Watch:

I definitely think you see queer authors and their stories forced into niche publishers or fan fic (I don’t know if I would say only YA here as I’ve read a ton of non-YA queer published fiction).

I think you have some people who are just “snobs” who think only “serious” “literary fiction” is worth reading and has any depth. Those people have probably never read a really good YA novel (I also recommend Freaks Like Us for one that tackles mental illness in a insightful way) or any fan fic at all. (Or if they have, it’s something like My Immortal.) So they make the assumption that all fan fic must be meaningless drivel (as if there isn’t plenty of that in mainstream, published adult fiction or other media for that matter).

They also forget that people read for different reasons, and like you said, not everyone wants to read something to write a master’s thesis on.

Some “pulp” stories, like the Sherlock Holmes tales, have survived and proliferated across time and languages because people find them entertaining and can identify with the characters in some way. (Ofc some people like to analyze those stories but not everyone does; in fact, most people don’t, and that’s perfectly fine.)

So I think you have the snobs who really aren’t looking at it from a “I must crush queer writers,” though ofc you’re absolutely right about the fact that bias still exists among readers and publishers.

As I mentioned before, trying to publish a novel with a queer MC or romance through one of the big ones is really difficult for the same reason we see plenty of queer baiting in film but very few actual queer stories. Publishers are afraid that those stories won’t sell, will offend and affect sales of other books, etc, etc,

So we see the proliferation of queer stories and writers in fan fic where people are free to write whatever they want. And that’s really wonderful, imo. (But I also hope we finally see more mainstream queer stories and authors/creators as well.)

And as for tropes, honestly that was the dumbest part of the whole argument. Tropes have always and will always exist bc there’s just some things we humans love to see over and over and over again. I’m sure you could label just about any “high” art with a trope of some kind. Just bc something can be distilled into tropes doesn’t mean that’s all it is. I mean, writing programs always talk about things like “the hero’s journey” or whatever and that’s a kind of trope, too.

Anyway, I’m gonna stop before I keep rambling 😅 but yeah I think you make some really great points/additions, and I absolutely think that “all generalizations are bad” 😅😂 and trying to make a sweeping assessment like that is ridiculous.

Kind of reminds me of how much scorn “genre” fiction has gotten (think mystery novels or romance novels or sci fi, etc) because it’s “shallow.” But that has begun to change, and I do think we’re slowly seeing the attitude toward fan fic changing…. Now, if only we could chuck all the antis and their puritanical BS out the door….

#poi answers #gabedemon #literature #fiction tropes #very long post #not kuro

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thegrayskullwriterbullworm · 3 years

Text

Normalizing Trigger Warnings

Hello babes! Today I want to talk about a hot topic in the writing community, which is, having trigger warnings in books. I have seen people for it and against it. It truly a topic that has a revolving door of opinions.

There seems to be a huge debate on trigger warnings and if we should use them or not.

Wait what is a trigger warning?

“A trigger warning is a statement made prior to sharing potentially disturbing content. That content might include graphic references to topics such as sexual abuse, self-harm, violence, eating disorders, and so on, and can take the form of an image, video clip, audio clip, or piece of text.” - University of Waterloo

They usually look like this:

TW: Mention of Sexual assault

TW // Mention of eating disorders

Trigger warning: scenes of physical abuse

The following episode contains graphic depictions of suicide and violence, which some viewers views may find disturbing

Those are just some things you may find in a trigger warning.

But- why are they there?

They are intended for the use of kind of protecting the people who have a certain trigger. The idea of trigger warnings originates in the psychiatric literature on post-traumatic reactions, where triggering had the same connotations. The primary features of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) include so-called “re-experiencing symptoms”, like intrusive thoughts and flashbacks. Though it isn’t limited to that only. They could also cause the person with ptsd to have a panic attack with the flashbacks and thoughts.

People’s reactions to trigger warnings:

Bad:

“This is the internet, if you are THAT sensitive, maybe you shouldn’t be on here.”

“If you have a problem with it, don’t watch/read it.”

“Don't be so sensitive.”

“If you put a trigger warning, you are just spoiling it.”

“These ‘safe spaces’ are just going to make them be coddled. They will never get over their trauma if they are being coddled like that.”

“How are we going to have a free speech in college and debates if we have to be ‘careful’?”

Good:

“They’re necessary to keep everyone safe.”

“I feel that they should be respected no matter what.”

“It is valid.”

“They help the person either prepare or leave.”

“You should handle your triggers, but it should be taken at your own pace.”

“I don’t want reminders of what happened, so I need trigger warnings.”

Neutral:

“Yeah trigger warnings are good, but soon, people need to learn how to handle their triggers sooner than later.”

“Yeah we want them to be safe, but people in college need to start becoming adults”

Yeah... the debate sure has been something.

Why do we need to normalize them?

Maybe you might not need them, BUT SOMEBODY ELSE MIGHT. In my own book that I’m writing, I will be putting trigger warnings because I want my readers to read this book and ENJOY. You know how many people have had to dnf books because they were triggered by the talk of sexual violence or the talk of abuse? I am all for talking for heavy topics that aren’t talked about as much, but we need to pay the expense to those who can not handles topics. I do agree that people need to get help for their triggers, but people forget two things:

We have a fucked up health care system that makes it hard to get the mental health care we need.

It takes a lot of time to handle this stuff. You can’t cure it, but you can learn how to cope with it.

We need trigger warnings point blank. There is no way around it. There are a lot of readers that want to read books but can’t because there is a scene that triggers them into a panic attack or flashback or into thoughts or actions- who knows what it will do to them? We need to keep people safe, and thats why I want trigger warnings in books. It is one sentence that will be written. It won’t be that hard. Do it for the people.

#writing #writer #write #My writing #Writing tips #writers on tumblr #writing inspiration #mental health #positive mental attitude #possibly triggering #trigger

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massivelycreepypineapple · 4 years

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Valiantly

Request: Jesus, I feel bad or asking this annonymusly, but I was wondering if I could get a Platonic 10th Dr X Reader, where he finds out the reader is suicidal and does his best to help? If not that's totally okay! Love your blogs!

Pairing: 10th Doctor x Fem!Reader (platonic)

Warning: Mentions of suicide, Angst. Please don’t read if this is in anyway triggering.

A/N: I hope this is okay! I know this is a sensitive topic and it is for me too, and I approached it based on my experience and feelings. I don’t mean to offend or hurt anyone. If I did I’m truly sorry.

I’m sorry I took so long, anon. It’s been a crazy ass week for me and not in a good way.

Word count: 1300

❅ ❅ ❅

It had been a little over 24 hours since the Doctor found Y/N unconscious on her bathroom floor. It was one of the worst 24 hours of his life and he’d had really bad ones before. He rushed her to the hospital in the Tardis and made sure she got help. And one can imagine his horror when he found out that she had done this to herself.

He brought her back home and helped her to the back porch. He wasn’t going to leave her alone anymore. He had dropped her off at her place on her insistence and the result of that nearly cost him her life.

He gently made her sit on the chair. “Do you need anything, Y/N?” He asked softly.

She didn’t reply or move, opting to simply look into the distance. He pulled a chair closer to her and took a seat. He didn’t know what to say and how to bring up what had just happened. But he didn’t have to wait long.

“Why?” Y/N whispered so low that he nearly missed it.

“What?” Asked the Doctor just as softly.

It took her a few minutes to respond.

“Why did you save me?”

“Y/N…”

“Why, Doctor?!” He voice was louder than before, making him flinch a little.

“Because, Y/N, I will always save you.” He replied as a matter of fact.

Her face remained emotionless as she continued to look into the distance. She didn’t have the guts to look at him. She didn’t know what she would find and she feared that he would pity her or find her weak and pathetic. He was the Doctor after all. He travelled through freaking time and space and he saved people. Just like he saved her. He was a goddamn hero while she was this depressed little freak who tagged along only to bring him down.

“I don’t want to be saved, Doctor.” She said.

“I know. Which is why I have to.”

There was silence once more. She was feeling desperate. She simply just wanted to die that’s all she wanted, nothing more nothing less.

“It’s getting really hard to keep going. I just want to give up, why won’t you let me give up?!”

“I’m the Doctor. It’s what I do.” He smiled.

“That’s not an answer.” Y/N said eerily calm. “It doesn’t tell me why I should keep going when I have nothing to live for. It doesn’t explain the logic behind my bloody existence. For almost all my life there has been one question engraved in my mind. ‘Why?’. And I never seem to find a decent answer. People say it gets better or if I keep fighting just a little longer I’ll see the light at the end of all this bullshit. But guess what? Years later I still want to kill myself, I still wake up with overwhelming hatred for myself and no matter where I go or when I go it follows me. So pray tell me, Doctor. Why?”

She had tears streaming down her face by the end of it. She was doing everything possible to keep the sob, that was threatening to escape, at bay. The doctor could tell she had more to say. He sat there lending her his ear, a silent promise of staying right there by her side trying his best to understand her.

“All my life I was constantly told that I always had a choice. A choice to choose life over death. But there is no logic behind that. Imagine a soldier trapped behind enemy lines constantly tortured and abused and if you told that soldier she had the option to pick life, don’t you think she would say, ‘I am alive now but being alive hurts more than anything. Maybe the other option will bring me peace.’? I want my peace, Doctor. I want to choose death.”

She was breathing heavily. No one understood that desperate need to end their life unless they were in that position. To others it seemed so easy to pick life over death, there was no question. But to Y/N it was simple. She wanted the abuse to end, she wanted the torture to end and to her the only way for that to happen was to kill herself. To remove herself from that situation, because the torture and abuse came from within her. How can anyone save her from herself?

The Doctor got up from her chair and crouched in front of her. “Y/N look at me.”

She closed her eyes and shook her head. She couldn’t look at him. He was her best friend and she was afraid he would succeed in convincing her to stay alive and she didn’t want that.

“Please?” He begged.

“N-no. I can’t” She whispered.

“I’m not going to ask you to choose life, Y/N. I promise that’s not what I’m asking. I just want you to look at me. That’s all, love.”

That was new. No one had said that to her before. She reluctantly opened her eyes and looked into his brown ones. For a change they didn’t hold pity nor did they hold disappointment. In fact, they looked at her with love and maybe even… awe?

“Do you know how proud I am of you?” The Doctor asked with a small smile gracing his lips.

She looked at him confused? how could he be proud of her? She just attempted to kill herself. “W-what?” Y/N asked softly.

“You, Y/N L/N, have fought for so long. You made it this far and for that I am so proud of you.”

“I just tried to kill myself, not to mention all the other times I’ve tried. How can you say that?”

“It’s okay that you did. A soldier in battle faces death more often than they can count. It doesn’t mean that they didn’t fight valiantly. And even if they lost that battle, we’re all still very proud because they faced the enemy with such bravery. But Y/N, that soldier behind enemy lines, she has a third option. A very rare but very real option.”

“What option?” Y/N asked meekly.

“Someone wants to save her. And that someone is not asking her to choose life or death. He is asking her to choose him. He’s saying ‘for the next few hours choose me. Let me get you out of that place and get you help. You don’t have to pick life or death now, Just pick me.’”

“What if he can’t save her in time? What if the enemy gets to her before him?”

“Then he’ll mourn her death, he’ll grieve deeply. But he’ll never ever stop being proud of her or honouring her. Not even for a second.”

Y/N looked into his eyes. She had this secret third option of choosing him. Even if it was for a little bit. But maybe that little bit was enough to get her to a point where she could choose life on her own. She didn’t have to make a choice, instead she just had to surrender to the one person who believed in her, and that just might make all the difference.

“Okay.” She whispered. “I’ll choose you, Doctor.”

He breathed a sigh of relief and in a blink of an eye wrapped her up in his arms. “I got you now. I’ll be right here until the end, Y/N. You’ll never be alone again.”

“I’m sorry.” She wept. “I’m so so sorry!”

“Shh love. You have nothing to be sorry for. You’re a fighter. You’re one of the bravest people I know.”

“Thank you for finding me.”

“Always.” He whispered as he held her tight to her.

#doctor who #doctor x reader #tenth doctor #10th doctor #tenth doctor x reader #10th doctor x reader #angst #reader insert #female reader #doctor who x reader #y/n

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hollyand-writes · 3 years

Note

Just wanted to say that I saw your post about Blond Boy Romance discourse and wanted to thank you for such a succinct write-up about Anders. I got into the fandom in late 2019 and i was SO confused about this huge gap in art and fic. Like, dead links and missing blogs and deleted posts. And I couldn’t figure out what happened because no one was talking about it, and I’m very shy after a mess in my last fandom. So...yeah. Thank you for writing that up, it’s nice to finally know what happened even though it’s really depressing. Also, thanks for staying in this fandom. You’re a wonderful example to others and an amazing creator.

Hello wanderingnork, and a very belated welcome to the fandom! 🙌🏾 Well. Welcome to what’s left of the fandom anyway LOL ❤️

Thanks so much for reaching out and sending me this really kind ask message (the post being referred to is my addition/reblog here) but yeah, I guess for those who weren’t in Dragon Age 2 fandom or the Anders side of fandom between December 2017—July 2018 you wouldn’t have seen how horrifying the bullying got. I’ve seen at least 3 people who aren’t friends with me reblog my post saying that what I described was why they themselves quit DA fandom or the Anders side of fandom too.

And those are the Anders fans who DIDN’T delete their Tumblr blogs. Obviously the ones who DID delete and/or quit aren’t here to confirm that they, too, quit over that Anders wank in 2018.

The worst of it was that the wank was started entirely by a group of Anders fans who – to my knowledge – still see themselves as the real victims to this day, even though they only stopped their callout posts and bullying (both in public and behind the scenes in private) when they learned that the Anders fanartist they were bullying was considering taking legal action. (You KNOW things are bad when fandom wank gets so bad that it becomes actual harassment that breaks the law.) And like I said, they posted some pretty shitty things about those of us who were friends with this artist too, causing many of us to block them.

They backtracked like fuck in July 2018, but after seven months (maybe more?) of constantly bullying this one popular Anders fanartist (who’d repeatedly apologised, deleted the NSFW sideblog AND the offending art, and posted how the whole thing had driven that artist to a breakdown and suicidal thoughts), maybe it should never have got that far?

I don’t know how active they are in DA fandom now – but I DO know one of them notoriously posted that us blocking them was “bullying”, and that “bullying is child abuse” for “children” like themselves... despite the fact that they admitted they were 23 and therefore were very much not a fucking minor or child. (They had a lot to say about how WE should have been responsible for their “online safety” as well, and that Anders was their “comfort character” whom they only wanted to see sweet fluff content for, and they regularly triggered themselves by searching out Anders content that was less than fluffy or sweet to complain about on their blog. Not to mention how many of us queer POC Anders creators in our 20s and 30s – including the Anders artist they bullied – were accused of being “white” and “boomer-passing” for defending Anders content they didn’t like LMAO)

I’m so sorry to hear about the huge gap in art and fic you experienced on coming in to Tumblr Dragon Age fandom, but given how many creators took one look at the bullying and thought “fuck this, I’m leaving” and either deleted their blogs or Anders posts/fic/art/meta or simply left for kink-friendlier fandoms, I am honestly not surprised to hear this. I am also sorry to hear that there was a mess in your last fandom too; and I hope that this fandom is better to you.

Dragon Age fandom is a difficult fandom to be in, but trust me when I say there are lots of good people in it. They’re just harder to find, and often they’re not as prominent or in-your-face as the nastier types. But I know they’re there because I’ve found them, and I treasure them, and I’ve been here since 2014.

I think really all we can do is block the haters as much as possible, and carry on creating whatever the fuck we like – and tagging appropriately. I learned my lesson from that wank in 2018: if someone(s) is really determined to destroy you and just wants you gone, there is no apology or deletion you can give that will be good enough. Besides, there are so many problematic themes and content in Dragon Age canon that I don’t think it’s reasonable to ask creators to completely shy away from exploring those if they want to, or from making OCs that mirror a canon character’s traumatic background, or from writing/drawing canon characters as anything less than healthy and wholesome and pure (which NONE of them are in canon, anyway) – especially if it’s tagged and warned for.

I mean... we all paid Bioware to purchase and play this 18+ game with its uncomfortable, difficult and sometimes problematic themes and content. I feel that if the Dragon Age franchise was so terrible and traumatic and problematic for someone when playing, then I do question why they joined the fandom afterwards. And I don’t think the onus should fall solely on fandom creators – who are doing this for free, unpaid, in our spare times – to create perfect, unproblematic, wholesome content that just wasn’t in the games themselves. Different people have different definitions of what is “perfect”, “unproblematic” or “wholesome” anyway.

(On that last point: look at how the people behind The Mess callout tried to accuse people of being racist for romancing Cullen with pale-skinned Lavellans; back in 2016/2017 you got accused of being racist for romancing Cullen with darker-skinned Lavellans. How times have changed 🤔 There’s a LOT of content in this fandom that I don’t like, or that squicks/repulses me, but as long as it’s tagged in a way that I can avoid it, I’m not gonna police what people create. And if there’s one thing I’ve noticed the Dragon Age fandom IS very good about doing, it’s that most people are careful about handling problematic topics and content in a sensitive way. So that’s not a thing I worry about.)

Anyway. I’m rambling. But yeah, that recap of 2018 (which several people have confirmed is true now) sums up why there is such a huge gap in Anders fanart and fic, and is why very few people create Anders content anymore – I know I myself abandoned a Garrett Hawke/Anders longfic in 2018 because I didn’t want to create for Handers fans if the only ones around were bullies who believed they were victims. But it’s been well over 2 years now, so.... I might get back to writing that fic. The Gym AU is still very much alive in my brain 👀

So! That’s what happened... but despite everything I want to emphasise that there IS much good in this fandom, even if it’s harder to find among all the shit there is 💩 and that I hope your stay here is a good one. Thank you so much for saying you think I’m a wonderful example to others and an amazing creator, though! ❤️ I don’t know how many people will agree, but I do try!

But yeah, if there’s one thing I’ve learned from being here since 2014 – and from surviving several attempts to run me out of fandom (including for having an elf/human OTP) and off this platform – it’s this: The people change, and the characters and subjects being wanked over change, but fandom wank itself never ever changes.

#wanderingnork #replies #also #tagging this as #anders #fandom wank #fandom critical #long post

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energyanon · 3 years

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FAQ Energy Readings

I am well aware that I cannot stop anyone when it comes to doing their own readings even if they are not experienced. by now, I hope that you have read this post and are at the very least following the guidelines. If you have done so, I applaud you, thank you for taking this seriously. If you have read the post, and you still want to go ahead i’ve decided to give some background information for you to consider in your readings while you practice. I will not be discussing HOW to do things, as, if you are doing these readings you should know this already, but this is some extra study just so it can help you in them. (If you arent interested in doing ER’s yourself, some of the information in here will give you some insight into your own energy, feel free to read that but otherwise, please do scroll down to where the quotes are, as they help everyone in understanding their own family dynamic/trauma.) I do think it will help everyone. I will continue to add to this with anything that I find would help you make better decisions when conducting a reading.

1. Before doing readings you need to work on yourself. There are things that can come up in a reading that are extraordinarily triggering, and you will never know that it’s coming up. Sexual abuse, attempted suicide, death.. nothing that wants to come into light gives two shits about you being triggered, and so you need to have done the work to be able to step out and stop without becoming consumed by it. You need to then be able to also have enough strength to close off the reading. If you are too fractured from the trigger in order to do so, you’ve just fucked it up for the person you’re reading. Not good. Do not attempt readings if you have triggers you have not worked on that are either a) going to cause you distress or b) do not allow you to be objective in the reading.

2. Second to this. Being objective in the reading: One of the messages I got last night mentioned that the person who was doing the reading was upset that the person in the reading was not listening to them. You cannot get your own feelings involved. You can merely understand. That’s it. if you are getting upset or feel queezy by what is happening, that is your own energy coming into the reading, and it is not permitted. Get out, shut it down, do not continue. That person does not need your added energy to take care of when they didn’t ask for it themselves, You are only there to observe unless you are doing a constellation in which you are there to guide, but even then you never get your own feelings on the situation involved.

Eg. In constellations, alot of the time we’re talking about sexual abuse or just straight up physical abuse. It does not help the client if you’re there getting your feelings on those things involved in the constellation and telling them that their father is an absolute shit and he deserves to die for what he did. They are trying to heal their past, that is not helping. You can get the child to say what they want to say eg. “What you did was wrong, it hurt me.” But that is only if they need to be guided to say it, they agree that that is what they want to say, or if they say it organically themselves, which we always try to get them to do first. and the most important thing

On this - you can’t say what is good or bad in a reading, it merely IS. The universe always knows what it’s doing, it is putting everyone through trials for them to grow. The very thing that you think is bad, may be the very thing that helps them grow into the best person they can be. You never tell someone what to do, you never force them on a different path if they have not accepted that. If they are on a current lesson, it is not up to you to force them off that lesson before they have learnt from it.

eg. (and this is NOT what I got at all in the reading, this is just an example) Lets say that Ale IS bad for SS, Lets say shes going to absolutely destroy him. Lets say you SEE that. You are not to do absolutely anything with that situation except accept and understand it with love unless that person has asked you to help them otherwise. You don’t tell them something they don’t already know, you don’t ask a question that says “Seb do you know that Ale is trying to sabotage you?” You don’t do shit. Seb would have been given that lesson in the form of Ale for a reason. Seb’s higher self before coming into this body would have asked for that lesson. You have absolutely 0 authority to tell him to do anything that would halt his learning of this lesson. Every person has the right to their own anatomy, it is your duty to have them keep that right.

Reiterating: If you cannot get out of your own feelings, thoughts and ego - do not do the reading. You need to practice this above all else - how to remain detached. There is no judgement when it comes to these. You enter with love,

3. Bringing love into the reading:

No one deserves a reading regardless of if it is a constellation or just an observation where you are bringing shitty energy with you. You come into the constellation/reading with love and understanding only. If the client doesn’t know what they’re doing, if they dont know how to feel, if they are making the wrong decisions, you understand. I understand how you feel. Do you want to move past it? No? I understand with love, lets move you where YOU want to go then. If they want to move past it that requires a constellation and I know none of you are trained in that DO NOT MOVE THEM. DO NOT TELL THEM HOW OR WHERE THEY SHOULD MOVE UNLESS YOU ARE A CERTIFIED FACILITATOR. No ands if or buts, you are not experienced. Do not move them. Observing the energy, following THEM, never changing the energy FOR them unless asked by them.

4. If the topic of grief comes up like that of Seb’s reading where they have fallen into a depression, you leave that reading. The only reason i continued was because whatever spirit it was that showed up felt like it came for a reason and made itself known to me in a way that couldn't be denied, and asked for assistance. And I knew how to deal with moving through grief. That barely ever happens, and the energy was good and true so i followed it (I was spooked initially i hate all things ghosts). I didnt offer anything up to Sebastian in that moment than for a way for him to connect with that grief and the person who had died. I could have left him there, but If i can help someone with that grief and the permission has been given, then I will do so. I didn’t do a huge constellation, just a mini one, just got him back in touch and feeling ok again, and he did. Those two had a chat with each other, there was no advice given, it was just one soul giving love to another soul and reminding them how loved they are. It wasnt me saying this to seb, it was me representing the soul who was saying it through me. Do you notice the difference? I’m telling you this only to know what happens, but do not do it yourself. Unless you are experienced with this, because they can also not find comfort in this, they can fall even further down the hole and then you’ve messed up that person. One more time: Don’t touch it, unless you can get them out of it. And you can’t get them out, unless you are experienced. Observe. Only.

5. It’s important to understand psychology before jumping into someone’s energy. Otherwise you’re understanding only the very basics of said person. There’s many underlying reasons as to why someone is the way that they are. Saying they’re a drug addict will help you very little, but understanding how that addiction came to be in the first place can help you understand and guide them.

Here are some tools to help understand (Reading these does not substitute practicing energy reading, these are only a tool to understand trauma, addiction, and psychology):

It Didn’t Start With You - Mark Wolynn

The Body Keeps Score - Bessel Van Der Kolk

When the Body says No - Gabor Mate

In the realm of Hungry Ghosts - Gabor Mate

If you can’t be bothered to read them (I would advise it if you are doing energy work), here are some of the best sections:

[Keep in mind when “Addiction” is referenced, it does not always mean drug or alcohol abuse, you can be addicted to anything, from being addicted to companionship, to being addicted to cleaning]

“Perhaps your mother carried a wound from her mother and was unable to give you what she didn’t get. Her parenting skills would be limited by what she did not receive from her parents.”

― Mark Wolynn,

It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle

“Cutting off can make you feel free at first, but it’s the false freedom of a childhood defense. Ultimately, it will limit your life experience.”

― Mark Wolynn,

It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle

When the family has been brought into its natural order, the individual can leave it behind him while still feeling the strength of his family supporting him. Only when the connection to his family is acknowledged, and the person's responsibility seen clearly and then distributed, can the individual feel unburdened and go about his personal affairs without anything from the past weighing him down or holding him back. - Bert Hellinger (Psychologist, created Family Constellations)

“It is impossible to understand addiction without asking what relief the addict finds, or hopes to find, in the drug or the addictive behaviour.”

― Gabor Mate,

In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction

“to suffer is alot easier than change. in order to be happy one needs to have courage.“ - Bert Hellinger

“Until we uncover the actual triggering event in our family history, we can relive fears and feelings that don’t belong to us—unconscious fragments of a trauma—and we will think they’re ours.”

― Mark Wolynn,

It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle

“when a couple has children, parenting often consumes all the partners' energies and they have little time left over for their relationship with each other. But the love the parents have their children is nourished by the love in their relationship with each other and is a result of that love. Often, if the couple relationship is restored to first priority, the parenting improves aswell. Above all, children feel happy when they have the experience of having parents who love each other." - Bert Hellinger

“It’s important to restate: not all behaviors expressed by us actually originate from us. They can easily belong to family members who came before us. We can merely be carrying the feelings for them or sharing them. We call these “identification feelings.”

― Mark Wolynn,

It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle

"You don't truly love someone until you love their fate, too." - Bert Hellinger

“Not every story has a happy ending, ... but the discoveries of science, the teachings of the heart, and the revelations of the soul all assure us that no human being is ever beyond redemption. The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists. How to support that possibility in others and in ourselves is the ultimate question.” ― Gabor Maté, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction “When an inner situation is not made conscious, it happens outside as fate. —Carl Jung, Aion: Researches into the Phenomenology of the Self” ― Mark Wolynn, It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle

“The greatest damage done by neglect, trauma or emotional loss is not the immediate pain they inflict but the long-term distortions they induce in the way a developing child will continue to interpret the world and her situation in it. All too often these ill-conditioned implicit beliefs become self-fulfilling prophecies in our lives. We create meanings from our unconscious interpretation of early events, and then we forge our present experiences from the meaning we’ve created. Unwittingly, we write the story of our future from narratives based on the past...Mindful awareness can bring into consciousness those hidden, past-based perspectives so that they no longer frame our worldview.’Choice begins the moment you disidentify from the mind and its conditioned patterns, the moment you become present…Until you reach that point, you are unconscious.’ …In present awareness we are liberated from the past.” ― Gabor Maté, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction “Once key connections are made, and we practice focusing on our healing images and experiences, we lay the groundwork for new neural pathways. Healing can then be surprisingly efficient.” ― Mark Wolynn, It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle

“Not why the addiction but why the pain.” ― Gabor Maté “When I am sharply judgmental of any other person, it's because I sense or see reflected in them some aspect of myself that I don't want to acknowledge.” ― Gabor Maté, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction

“If people are addicted to self-soothing behaviours, it's only because in their formative years they did not receive the soothing they needed. Such understanding helps delete toxic self-judgment on the past and supports responsibility for the now. Hence the need for compassionate self-inquiry.” ― Gabor Maté, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction

“Emotional competence requires the capacity to feel our emotions, so that we are aware when we are experiencing stress; the ability to express our emotions effectively and thereby to assert our needs and to maintain the integrity of our emotional boundaries; the facility to distinguish between psychological reactions that are pertinent to the present situation and those that represent residue from the past. What we want and demand from the world needs to conform to our present needs, not to unconscious, unsatisfied needs from childhood. If distinctions between past and present blur, we will perceive loss or the threat of loss where none exists; and the awareness of those genuine needs that do require satisfaction, rather than their repression for the sake of gaining the acceptance or approval of others. Stress occurs in the absence of these criteria, and it leads to the disruption of homeostasis.”

― Gabor Maté, When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress “All of the diagnoses that you deal with - depression, anxiety, ADHD, bipolar illness, post traumatic stress disorder, even psychosis, are significantly rooted in trauma. They are manifestations of trauma. Therefore the diagnoses don't explain anything. The problem in the medical world is that we diagnose somebody and we think that is the explanation. He's behaving that way because he is psychotic. She's behaving that way because she has ADHD. Nobody has ADHD, nobody has psychosis - these are processes within the individual. It's not a thing that you have. This is a process that expresses your life experience. It has meaning in every single case.” Vulnerability is our susceptibility to be wounded. This fragility is part of our nature and cannot be escaped. The best the brain can do is to shut down conscious awareness of it when pain becomes so vast or unbearable that it threatens our ability to function. The automatic repression of painful emotion is a helpful child's prime defence mechanism and can enable the child to endure trauma otherwise be catastrophic. The unfortunate consequence is a wholesale dulling of emotional awareness.” ― Gabor Maté, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction Here are also the QNA’s I have done that are in relation to how Energy works (This is not a replacement for actual practice, knowing this is NOT ENOUGH) I will continue to add to this with anything that I find would help. I’m hoping you guys take this seriously, and don’t attempt anything that could potentially harm yourself or others in a reading.

#QNA #FAQ

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marshmallowprotection · 3 years

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Inspired by the character Margarita Blankenheim from Evillious Chronicles (Link to Margarita’s Evillious Chronicles wiki page: https://theevilliouschronicles.fandom.com/wiki/Margarita_Blankenheim ) and the song “Gift From the Princess Who Brought Sleep” (Link to the fanmade PV & cover by Mariogagabriel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mo8IHawkHpI ), all by Mothy.

Trigger warnings for self-harm mentions, suicide mentions, and a bat shit crazy psychopathic girl who is the topic of this character description.

Well, I’ve made way more disgusting & hateable characters for my world...I mean, I made a character whose disgusting fetish list is long and as said, disgusting and disturbing. Ah, the smell of my world and its blurry border between NSFW and SFW…

(I think the only reason it's not NSFW is cus there are no explicit scenes of you know what ._.)

“If you truly love me, you wouldn’t have hurt me back then. I’m just returning the favor, you know! Every Black Rose has thorns...but mine are simply sharper, Mama, Papa. Now,

TO HELL WITH YOU SCUM!”

-Laila, 1691 T.C. At Age 15

Name: Laila Kerrin Rouziame (Pronounced Lie-la Care-in Ro-zee-ah-meh in case anyone has trouble pronouncing it)

Name Meaning: Laila is an Arabic name meaning “Night Beauty”. Kerrin is an Irish name meaning “Black”. I derived her last name from “Rouzia”, an English name which is a variation of the name “Rose”. All together her name literally means “Night Beauty Black Rose”.

Aliases (If Any): Black Rose (Code Name/Serial Killer Name)

Age: 19 (On Death)

Date of Birth/Birthday: Day 14 of Xomura’s Star, 1676 T.C. (Equivalent of February 14th)

Zodiac: Aquarius

Status: Deceased (Died 1695 T.C.)

Species: Elf

Magic: Unknown (Used A Variety of Different Spells, The Magic She Inherited/Specialized In Is Unknown)

Height: 5’4 Feet (162 Centimeters)

Ethnicity: Vesperian

Relatives: Duke Rouziame (Father)✝

Duchess Rouziame (Mother)✝

Rowen von Hallow (Husband)✝

Veila Miranda Rouziame (Daughter)✝

Various Descendants

Birth Place: Merdanburg, Rouziame Territory, Vesper Empire

Nationality/Current Residence: Merdanburg, Rouziame Territory, Vesper Empire

Religion (Which Goddess Do They Worship?): Kaya (Claims)

None

Occupation: Duchess of House Rouziame

The Infamous Serial Killer “Black Rose”

Founder of The Criminal Organization “Midnight Rosaria”

Affiliations: Midnight Rosaria

House Rouziame

Vesper Empire

Personality: Self-Destructive, Just Plain Old Crazy, Psychopathic, Masochistic, Sadistic, Comes Off As “Sweet” And “Kind”, But Eerily “Sweet” and “Kind”, Like You Can Just Feel Something Is Off, But She’s A Master Manipulator, So You Wouldn’t Realize Till She Stabs You Senseless

Marital Status: Married (Formerly)

Widow [By Choice]

Sexuality: Heterosexual

Likes: Roses, Pain (No Seriously, I Put Her As Masochist In Her Personality Thing For A Reason), Flowers

Dislikes: People Pitying Her, People Treating Her As if She Were A Sweet Innocent Thing To Be Protected From The Cruel World, The Abuse Her Parents Did To Her, The Scent of Smoke, Smoke In General

Role: Background Character

Potential Post-Ever Changing Fate 1 Side Story Main Character (Undecided Though)

Debut: Undecided

Random Facts:

Laila is a genuine actual psychopath. She’s not meant to be a character you can justify at all or chalk up her trauma to be the source of her evil or that she could have been good in an alternate timeline if she did not go through her trauma. She was, really, seriously, born with a lack of empathy for people and violent tendencies. However, her parents’ abuse towards her is what pushed her over the edge. But she would likely have still gone down the route she goes down in her canon, becoming a murderer, as she is likely a character who displays the worst symptoms and tendencies of someone who is a psychopath.

Also before anyone claims she’s a sociopath- she is not, because she was like this from birth. Sociopaths are made- psychopaths are born. Big difference.

She was not born a masochist, however, she slowly morphed into one as the years went on and she searched for relief from the pain her parents caused her, and in a sick way the pain she caused to herself seemed to feel euphoric, and she’s not sure why. It may be due to her suicidal tendencies and contemplation of suicide, or maybe something else.

Laila is not meant to be an accurate representation of most mentally ill people- she’s one of the most extreme cases. And she’s also an actual psychopath, who are unable to be helped at all because their lack of empathy is not like depression or something where they can recover- it’s something physically wrong with her brain; for lack of a better word, she’s broken. And there’s nothing anyone could do to help her. Unfortunately, before anyone realized she was a severe, genuine danger to everyone around her and herself, she had already killed many people and eventually herself.

Laila also has severe depression (which is the main cause of her suicidal tendencies later on and masochistic tendencies) and severe PTSD towards the scent of smoke due to her father’s smoking habits. That’s also why she didn’t just burn all of Merdanburg like many people in Midnight Rosaria wanted her to- her fear of the smoke scent and just smoke, in general, made her unable.

Her exact kill count is 400. 399 if you disinclude herself.

Her masochistic tendencies are not sexual in nature before anyone asks.

Backstory: Laila Kerrin Rouziame was born the only child of Duke and Duchess Rouziame in the capital of Rouziame Territory (A Territory In My World Is A Province, Sort Of), Merdanburg on Day 14 of Xomura’s Star, 1676 T.C. Since birth, Laila had been harshly disciplined by her parents and taught what she should and should not do, in order to morph her into the perfect heiress, it didn’t help that the Vesper Empire was collapsing at the seams and that House Vesper, the ruling house of the empire, had disintegrated due to its main branch ending up at a dead-end when the last empress, Elisabet, died without an heir back in 1566 (110 years ago), and the nobility were all scrambling to become the new ruling house, and as one of the most powerful noble houses, Laila’s parents wanted to be the ones to become the new emperor and empress. And so, Laila was trained in how to be the best leader she could be, and harsh punishment in the form of physical and verbal abuse was executed to her if she did not comply, which she did a lot. Laila had...many violent tendencies, she often for example stabbed her stuffed animals with pencils or pens, or tearing them apart by hand, and sometimes even harming herself. All of this caused her only to be punished more, and many people started to refer to her as a demon child due to her tendencies of violence, and she even once attempted to stab the third son of the current Marquis Mariah at the time. Her lack of conscience and sense of right and wrong made everyone fear that maybe Laila was “possessed” or “cursed”. As Laila grew her tendencies only heightened, but, she learned an important skill from her older cousin, Lettisa (she was also a fellow psychopath), when she was 10- deception.

Laila learned how to pretend to be normal.

And so the random bursts of violence stopped. She put on a mask of perfectness- making herself out to be kind and benevolent when in reality she felt nothing but sick happiness at the thought of the pain she could cause. In private she harmed herself yet again but did so in places where she could easily hide the scars and wounds.

When Laila was 13 the abuse from her parents continued to worsen, and her cousin Lettisa started talking to her about the idea of killing them, confessing that she herself killed her parents because they abused her too. Laila for the next 2 years would seriously consider it because she was tired of the abuse, in her words "They don't accept me for who I am, wanting me to pretend to be someone I am not. If they were gone...maybe...I could be free."

Laila would go through with her meticulously planned for two whole years murder plot against her parents when she was 15, murdering them in an excruciating, painful way which shall not be said because it's way too gory and disturbing.

After that Laila inherited everything from her parents, the estate, the title, the money, everything. Her cousin, Lettisa, chose to move out of her aunt's house to come live with Laila. And there began their creation of an organization, a criminal one, which they planned to name: "Midnight Rosaria".

Laila would be the face of the organization, and Lettisa handled many nitty-gritty details.

Laila's mental health continued to decline in terms of her sanity, and she began desiring to feel the euphoria which bringing pain to others had always brought her. And so, she became a serial killer, not targeting anyone in particular besides people who were friends of her parents, who were rewarded for their bystanding status of just watching Laila get abused by her parents with a painful death.

With the creation of Midnight Rosaria, killings across all of Merdanburg heightened along with the crime rate, Lettisa going around and recruiting people to the organization. Everyone was there for different reasons and different goals, but they all benefited from one thing: the fact that they would help each other. Everyone in the organization usually behind only one member's murder plot or crime. It was very meticulously planned, everything was perfected to the highest degree of perfection. And let me tell you, Laila was not dumb- in fact, she was a genius of her time, likely one of the most brilliant criminals ever. She was just... absolutely insane.

Before Laila even turned 18, she was approached by a suitor named Rowen von Hallow, who claimed to have fallen in love with her and wanted to marry her. She originally rejected him, but Lettisa said that marrying him would greatly increase her power due to him being descended from Alia Hallow, who was a famous hero. So, Laila agreed to marry him. She gave birth to a daughter a year later.

For the next 4 years of her life (counting from when she was 15), Laila murdered over 300 people, using various magic spells and masking her true nature to enact her plots. With all of Midnight Rosaria helping her, at that point, there was nothing anyone could do to stop her, not when she had so much power and influence as Duchess Rouziame and the leader of Midnight Rosaria.

Merdanburg became a ghost town.

Laila's mental health had become extremely unstable. She even murdered her husband during a violent fit and didn't even care afterward.

And so Laila believed the last thing to do was to kill herself.

Everyone urged her not to, including Lettisa, but Laila stated that it was for the best, considering that was what she had wanted her entire life- the ultimate pain- the sweet release of death.

And so she did.

Laila has gone down in history as one of the most brilliant minds to have ever lived, as she did excel in school, but used her brilliance for the wrong reasons. She became known as the "Black Rose" due to her leaving a black rose wherever she made the worst wound on her victims. She's become infamous in history and due to being the creator of Midnight Rosaria along with Lettisa, she influenced the future of crime for centuries.

Lettisa ended up being the new guardian of Laila's daughter Veila, and unfortunately, Veila inherited her mother's psychopathy, becoming an infamous murderer as well.

This is my first time writing a character who was born just purely crazy, did I mess up anything? Idk myself if I did a good job or what. ;-;

She's likely going to be improved in the future as I find out more about psychopathy, but this is her for now. :/

— Submision

Well, I do think it’s important not to call people “crazy”. Doing things of that nature can harm anyone with mental illness. Mental illness are not excuses for your actions. There’s definitely people in this world that are cruel but they are simply cruel for their own reasons, they weren’t being forced into doing anything, they choose to do what they do. Framing certain illness in a bad light makes for a bad stigma for people who experience pyschosis, hallucinations, and more. It isn’t “scary” to be “different.”

But, it is a shame that people hurt others for things out of their control, like what they struggle with mentally or physically. Genetics can put you at risk for certain things, like anxiety, but that doesn’t mean that would make you your parent, or what they struggled with. Now, you could be disillusioned with reality and she could possibly have been taught things as a child that helped shape her view of others, and that’s how the daughter lashes out at others, but I wouldn’t say that she “got it from her mother” as in, mental illness.

It’s just important to be careful about how you write characters like that because there is so much bad media out there that does more harm then good. Even if she’s one of the extreme cases that is an outlier, it’s important to be wary of what it can do to other people.

I do find the concept rather interesting, though. It has potential if you continue to work on it and remedy things that may hurt others.

#tw self harm #tw suicide ment #ask #oc #mod kait #littleghostlyrose #submission

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naynay5155 · 3 years

Text

Rant incoming, wee woo wee woo

Okay so:

I highkey despise the way that mental health and mental health issues are discussed and dealt with in the DreamSMP. And maybe I'm a bit biased and shit, but I've been thinking about it a lot, and come to the conclusion that they really just, do not know how to write mentally ill characters, trauma, or people who are a bit fucked up without in some way sending an ableist or confusing message.

For example:

Tommy Constantly Flip Flops Between Having Trauma From Dream's Gaslighting And Manipulation, And Joking Around Carelessly And Being Generally Non-Effected

That's not to say that someone who is depressed or traumatized has to "act traumatized" or "be depressed" all the time. But there needs to be a certain level of... I suppose consistency when it comes to this stuff, especially when trying to tell a story that deals with mental health. When writing characters who have gone through shit, acting is your best friend, and the little things can really add to and go to elevate a person's character. Instead of having Tommy have moments (that aren't directly related to Dream, and don't necessarily get triggered by an explicit mention of Dream or his past) is important to proving to the audience that he has, in fact, gone through shit. I've seen and spoken with plenty of people who seem to think that Tommy's jovial or out of place behaviour is a Coping Mechanism. Which is totally fine to think. But let me say this:

Not once has it ever been shown, implied, or explicitly stated, that what Tommy does is a coping mechanism.

Other than in joking contexts before stream, moments of debatable canonicity, or when Tommy wants to make an off handed joke to play into his persona for Twitch/Youtube, as far as memory servers, not once has it been properly established within the narrative that what Tommy does is an intentional coping mechanism. As a result, it comes across more as an attempt by Tommy to make content for the server. When he jokes about selling Foot, or makes references to his Snapchat streaks, he's doing that to be funny, to create content, to be entertaining. Not because he put thought into his actual character to do this so that it seemed like an unhealth coping mechanism, it's to be funny. He acts just like he did in the beginning of the server, when he was in L'manburg. And the times where he does show signs of trauma or being effected by past events do exist, but let me say this:

A. Tommy has gone through a lot more than just Dream's manipulation, and despite this he only seems to be effected specifically by the stuff Dream has put him through, rather than literally anything else he has gone through, which is a lot. It paints his trauma as inconsistent, and makes it seem like he only has PTSD and Panic Attacks due to Dream, even though it would make logical sense for him to be upset, or at least effected by Wilbur, explosions, murder, fireworks, crossbows, Technoblade as a whole, Philza etc etc. But up until the Exile Arc, the biggest reference we've gotten to trauma from past events is jokes about Tubbo having PTSD and... vaguely alluded to mixed feelings about Ghostbur.

B. He instantaneously gets over basically all of his trauma and worries in literally a day. Arguably, he does it as a whole, in a combined time of like, fifteen minutes. He goes to his old home, and after literally just standing there, he no longer feels like he's gonna have a panic attack when in this area. There is no visible mental process, there is no showing of actual character development. He doesn't even have much of a realization that what happened to him doesn't have to define him, and he can grow past that. He instead basically just... sets out that day to "Conquer his fears". Trauma is not a fear of spiders, those are not and never have been an equivalent. Treating them like they are, like it's that simple, is insensitive. You don't just go to the place you experienced trauma in and feel better in five minutes, and if you do, usually there is something else going on here. But you need to actually explain that to the audience, because we are not mind readers, and not everyone is gonna over analyze the story just to understand something that barely even matters in the long run. You also are not really able to just... get over trauma. It's not that easy, even if many wish it was. It's not like getting the flu, trauma has ripple effects and will likely linger in a persons life for the entirety of it. Not only is this so remarkably fast passed, and actually a egregious misrepresentation over how trauma is resolved and how people get over it, but it seems more like a way to allow Tommy to stop acting like he's having a panic attack every time he's here than an actual effort to have the character has a positive change.

The other instance of this, is his confrontation with Dream while sneaking out of L'manburg with Techno. He stands up to Dream (and I could go on for hours about why this whole scene is highkey kinda bullshit), backs down a bit when threatened, Technk stands up for him then alludes to betrayal, and then the scene ends and Tommy has somehow come to the conclusion that he has overcome his fear of Dream and is now his own man. Which is... bizarre to say the least. Both because, that is not a good representation of how people get over and recover from their manipulators and gaslighting, along with my previous points about the pacing and how it is never that easy, but also because it just... it kinda also had the potential to be used in a much better way. They could have gone about it any other way, having Tommy recover and grow and be reassured slowly over time, instead of, in an instant making the jump to fully recovered and totally all good. That could actually have been good to see for his character, but... no we don't get that.

C. Nobody in the actual narrative, not Technoblade, not Ph1lza, not even Tommy himself, properly describes or acknowledges that what Tommy has is actual depression, that he was suicidal, that he was gaslit, that what he went through wasn't just "Run of the mill manipulation" that it was a genuine abuse. Tommy never tells anyone what fully went down, he never actually says he's having panic attacks, and nobody bothers to ask, be concerned, or actually explain it to him (if it didn't make sense for Tommy as a character to know what he was going through). Any possible non verbal explanation for what he was doing being coping is never used, and no terminology is ever used to describe his experience other than just "Manipulation". What Tommy went through is more accurate to call Verbal, Emotional, and Mental Abuse, Gaslighting, Suicidal Tendencies and an attempt on his own Life. And they should call it that, for the sake of clarity for the audience. But instead, they keep it very vague, not actually explaining it or implying that this is a coping mechanism. And if they do, oh boy, they kinda fucked it up ngl.

Now you may wonder, why is it important to clarify? To be a bit obvious? To make it known? Well, it's important for the sake of proper representation of mental illness/mental health related topics. It's important to make it known that Tommy has trauma that won't just go away in a day, that what he's going through is hard, to properly called Dream abusive and clarify that Tommy's way of acting is him coping. Because fiction reflects reality, and in order to not risk spreading the wrong message, or doing a lackluster job, you need to be clear. It's important for the people who go through similar stuff to see, in order to feel validated and included. But most of all, it's important for the people who might not know about this specific stuff, so they can be informed and have their mind changed.

Think about it like this. Even if you, as either a Neuro-divergent person, or maybe just someone educated on mental health related topics and symptoms, can see and infer that what Tommy is doing is unhealthy, can other people? If other people who don't have much background knowledge on this stuff, can't tell, then the story has failed fundamentally to actually have a proper conversation about coping mechanisms and how unhealthy they can be. If a dedicated reader or a casual fan can't get the idea or understand that Tommy is being self destructive and is coping in an unhealthy way, have you really informed anyone of the actual problem with his behaviour or character?

This can also be an issue narratively. By having nobody acknowledge what Tommy is going through, it makes those characters seem tactless, careless, like they either have no clue or could care less about what Tommy is going through. It makes Philza's rhetoric and being kind and knowing better seem empty, because who is he to say anything about teaching people a lesson when he can't even recognize when his son is a traumatized abuse victim? It makes Tommy seem completely tone deaf to exactly how impacted he should be, and doesn't make him look good when he tries to act like he's been utterly destroyed by Dream's manipulation, when not five minutes earlier, he was joking about how many wives he has. (It also makes the guilt tripping of other characters seem especially scummy, but that's a whole other rant for another time).

So basically what I'm saying is... shits fucked I guess.

This is a mess lmao, but I'm just kinda mad. And there are probably a lot better examples of the lackluster mental health representation, and I could probably explain my point a lot better some other way, but hopefully this makes sense.

#negative #dream smp #dream smp critical #dsmp critical #criticism #critcal dsmp #damn. they kind shit at writing and roleplay can you beleive it #shits wild luv #can you believe the ableism and the bad writing of mental health issues #rp #roleplay #minecraft roleplay

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