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kyaa-q · 3 months

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A Train Wreck (part 2)

Lee Minho x fem!reader warnings: lots of angst and tw for verbal abuse/toxic relationship wc: 10k6> AO3 link :) | Part 1 synopsis: Your life has changed a lot throughout the past 6 months, since you started dating Jun. Events lead you to slowly distance yourself from some of the people you loved the most - Stray kids. Even your friendship with Bang Chan, your closest friend, was damaged after that day. Now, you find your life to be like an unstoppable train wreck hurtling toward disaster. You're gradually losing the bonds that had always kept you sane, for a serie of events that turned your world upside down. It feels inevitable: you will crash. Could someone help you avoid the collision? Could someone take the wheel with you, and help you get control over your life again? You don't know anymore. There's only one thing you do know: you are not welcomed and Lee Know, in particular, might hate you. And his opinion about you hurts more than you wanted it to.

Or: Y/N is in an abusive relationship and ends up distancing herself from her friends (Stray Kids). She thinks everybody hates her, especially Lee Know. She doesn't understand the effect he has on her (and vice-versa).

Minho’s chuckle still echoes in your mind as you’re slowly pulled back to the present. The faint buzz of your phone on the table catches your attention. You don’t recognize the number showing on the screen.

Still not feeling entirely as yourself, you pick it up. “Hello?” The sound of your voice rings weird in your ears.

You reach for your cup and sigh melancholically when you find it empty. Should I get another one? At the counter, the barista laughs a little too loud of something the cashier just said.

“Hi.” The male voice greets you from your phone, though you barely register it.

Maybe I should go home.

A nausea knot twist in your stomach at the thought.

But where else can I go?

A sudden shattering sound makes you jump and you whip your head. The cashier quickly makes his way going through the tables until you spot the source of the crash. The couple begins a succession of anxious apologies, met by constant reassurance from the cashier.

You could’ve sworn the noise had come from your phone, though.

You shake your head. I definitely need to go home and get some sleep.

“Who is it?” You hold the phone between your shoulder and ear and start collecting your stuff.

“Ouch. So you actually don’t have my number saved.” You hear a soft laugh, followed by a frustrated click of a tongue. “That is fair, I guess. Why am I hurt, though?” He murmurs what you can assume that is mostly to himself. You grab your bag to leave and force yourself to snap out of the heavy haze clouding your mind.

There is something familiar about the man, but you can’t really put your finger on it. It bothers you. The feeling of missing something important is there, but it’s overshadow by exhaustion and you decide that thinking takes too much energy – which you have none to spare.

You rub your temples. “I’m sorry, I’m sure it’s a misunderstanding. Who do you wish to speak to?” You take a quick look at your phone screen on your way out, realizing it’s way later than you thought. “Are you sure you called the right number?”

“Very sure, Y/N.” His voice is soft and reassuring.

You sigh again. “So, how can I…” You start, but something makes you stop.

The way he says your name itches a particular spot of your brain. It’s not simply familiar – it’s somehow intimate, and you picture the warmth that wraps you when you go inside a house after walking through the cold in the middle of the winter.

A face also comes in your mind, but you almost laugh. It comes out as a weak breath instead.

It’s unlikely. Flashes of angry howls through closed doors bring back the pain and shame from that specific day, that hasn’t stopped haunting you even weeks later.

It is unlikely, you tell yourself. Very unlikely.

Still, his name falls from your lips before you can stop it. “Minho.”

“Hello, Y/N.” He replies and you know that it is, unmistakably, Minho.

In a heartbeat, the clouds in your mind vanish and you feel particularly awake. You resist to acknowledge the feelings – of relief and… yearning? Longing? – that filled your heart after the realization that Minho was calling you.

Minho, of all people.

You step outside and the cold spring air fill your lungs. Your gaze shifts to the darkening sky, extending beyond the towering buildings that rise above the ground. You wish you could see stars.

It was impossible to ignore the strangeness of it. Minho never calls you. Literally. In fact, you couldn’t remember a single instance where it had happened. Not in the beginning, when you first started showing up at the studio as Chan’s friend, and especially not after Jun, when his despise became obvious and spread like dark tentacles that you tried so hard to overlook.

“Hey. How can I help you?” You ask coolly. Then, a thought surfaces in your mind making your panic spike. “Is everything okay?” The words come out rushed. “What happened?”

“Everything is fine, Y/N.” He reassures you and, for some reason you don’t understand, you believe him. “Nothing happened.”

Thank God. You exhale audibly.

The relief is short-lived. “Then why are you calling?”

Minho chuckles, but you don’t allow yourself to feel bad for being straightforward.

“Are you free on Saturday?” The casualty in Minho’s voice is still off-putting.

“It depends.” You reply, warily.

His laughs reverberates in your chest. “Of what?”

“You’re acting weird. What’s going on?” You blurt out.

“Weird how?” There is amusement in his voice, the realization leaving you almost disturbed. He’s enjoying it.

“Come on, Minho. Get to the point.”

“You’re no fun.” He sighs, though clearly still enjoying himself. “The comeback is around the corner and Chan has been working relentlessly. Even though it’s nothing new, it still doesn’t mean it’s suddenly good for his health.” You bite your lip as he continues. “We managed to bargain with him, so he is taking a day off and we thought it would be a good idea to celebrate the comeback. Or whatever the excuse was. I guess you can call it a group effort to give that guy a break, even if it’s just for a night.”

All your defenses are dismantled, you know it. The familiarity of the situation threatens to suffocate you as your throat tightens, unable to stop the gratitude of squeezing your heart at the picture of those guys taking care of each other.

And somehow including you.

The tears burn the back of your eyes. God knows how Chan has been and still he had called you on that very same day. You don’t remember what you said – if you even said anything – and you can’t help but wonder if, maybe, he had called you in search of a friendly ear.

If that were the case, you had failed him terribly.

While you desperately tried to fix everything, you ended up making things worse. You knew now how mistaken you were when you thought that distancing yourself would make things better. Yes, you knew why you were acting so wary and evasive, but how could Chan have any clue? None of them did. How could they? By being scared of bothering your friends, by trying not to burden them, you singlehandedly decided to withdraw yourself. Simple as that, you pushed all of them away and then you went further. You had convinced yourself that you were doing this for them.

How could this be considered a selfless choice in any shape of form? How much of your actions were guided by altruism and love for your friends, and how much of it was led by selfishness and, especially, fear of being hurt again?

You shake your head, chasing off the thoughts in your mind and wiping away a single stubborn tear that escaped rolled down your cheek.

Perhaps you had been annoying the boys to no end. Perhaps they all had grown seriously tired of you and simply didn’t know how to bring it up. Perhaps you had crossed their boundaries and became a source utter of discomfort and displeasure. Perhaps they even hated you, while you remained oblivious to it.

Perhaps.

But then what?

“Just so you know,” Lee Know interrupts your thoughts and you wipe another tear from your face. “You are coming. I’m calling just to make sure you cancel whatever you may have planned in advance.”

You raise your eyebrows in confusion, stunned. “Excuse me?”

“I mean it. It’s not up to discussion.” You open your mouth but nothing comes out, and when he continues, his voice is quiet and soft, “Chan misses you, you know.” Your heartbeat falters in your chest. “And it’s not just him.”

The thoughts fly chaotically inside your head and you stop yourself from stating out loud once more how odd the situation is. The fondness in his voice isn’t new, you’ve heard it before. You’ve heard it when he spoke to Han, discreetly checking how he was feeling in the after stage. You’ve heard it when he bickered with Chan and the way he called hyung afterwards. You’ve heard it when he teased Hyunjin, when he complimented Jeongin and when he spoke of Seungmin to other people.

You witnessed different and subtle ways of caring Minho had toward every member. Outside the group Minho was extremely reserved, many times seen as cold-hearted – a huge mistake. It was hard to know how much it affected him really, though. You’ve always admired him secretly and from afar for his strength and resolution.

From afar, you say, because you were part of the “outside the group” team, obviously. Minho was a mystery to you, a distant figure that you respected and stopped trying to understand a long, long time ago.

In the beginning, you had wondered if you were the problem.

Because you had seen his affection when it came to the members, the indifference towards you was awkward to say the least. He was never directly rude, though his detached attitude could be – and indeed was – seen as such sometimes. One day, you were chilling on the couch at the studio as 3RACHA worked on a track, Minho suddenly stormed into the room. You immediately sat straight, surprised by the sudden and unusual burst of excitement coming from him, breaking the quite monotonous atmosphere the room had acquired. Minho walked past you and went straight to Chan and Changbin, giggling as he showed them something on his phone. Han left the live room, confused about the fuss.

Minho turned the screen to Han and they both spoke energetically, with Chan laughing along. Even Binnie, though shaking his head, clearly bit back a smile. The latter caught you staring in confusion, and waved off the commotion. “Silly boys, Y/N. They’re like children.”

“Excuse you!” Han exclaimed dramatically, “The new chapter of Demon Slayer is anything but silly!”

Chan laughed louder and Minho’s head jerked in your direction. He blinked a few times, assimilating the unexpected presence of a fourth person he had not realized before. Suddenly, he stiffend his posture and gave you a short bow, murmuring something to the boys and then turning to leave the room right after.

Not before you caught the bright pink shade in his ears.

“Is it me?” You asked a little later on that very same day. “Have I done anything to upset him?”

“What are you talking about?” Asked Changbin, swinging in one of the leathered chairs.

“Minho.” You explained, waving off the surprised expressions on their faces. “I’m just wondering if I did something and if I should apologize to him.”

“Are you serious?” Han’s shocked face seemed a bit of an exaggeration, you thought. “Do you think he doesn’t like you?”

“Come on, Hannie. I’m not blind.” You shrugged, though it came off a little forced. “I just don’t want to be in bad terms with any of the members.”

You were grateful for your friendship with Chan. He was an amazing person and you were so lucky to have him in your life. His life wasn’t easy, obviously. When he wasn’t busy with schedules of an idol life, he was busy working and doing music, so it was heartwarming when he went out of his way to introduce you to the others, especially to 3RACHA. Changbin and Han had welcomed you from day one, and you rarely felt so immediately comfortable around people you had just met, like it happened with them. You met the other boys a couple times, and even ended up hanging out with Hyunjin and Felix once or twice. They were wonderful, you knew, and you also were highly aware of the importance the group had to them.

Your heart ached watching what true love and acceptance looked like.

And because you knew how much each of them meant to each other, you started worrying about Minho. What if Minho didn’t like you? What would it mean to Chan, and the others? You didn’t expect everyone to love you, obviously, but you hoped to hold a neutral image at least. What if you couldn’t? Then what?

“You haven’t done anything wrong, Y/N.” Chan said, and he pondered his words. “I can’t speak for him, but I’m sure that, with time, you’ll both get to know each other better.”

“So… does he not hate me?” You tried one last time.

Binnie’s eyes widened and Han chocked what you thought to be a laugh. “Absolutely not.” Han said, cleaning his throat. “I can assure you that.”

You rub your eyes, trying to stop a headache from forming.

In the end, it all comes back to Chris. It’s obvious that Minho cares about him, and so do you. It makes sense to unite forces for a greater cause. Kind of. It almost makes sense when you think of this as some common ground.

“Okay. Sure.” You say finally, feeling like your brain was replaced with jelly. “I’ll go.”

“Great!” Minho sounds pleased with himself, oblivious to the conflict happening inside your head. Good for him, you think bitterly. “Oh, there’s one more thing.” You grunt, but he continues. “No boyfriends allowed.”

Your body tenses and you feel your stomach drop.

This is not gonna end well.

“Minho…”

“That’s not up for discussion either. Sorry, Y/N,” He says, not sounding sorry in the least. “I don’t make the rules. Text me if you need a ride.”

“Minho, I don’t think this is a good idea.” You urge, scared he might hang up on you.

He does not. Instead, his voice becomes lower but steadier and assertive. “What is a not a good idea, Y/N?”

You take a shaky breath. “I know you don’t like Jun…” You start, but your thoughts are a mess. They stumble upon one another and the necessity of having Minho understanding inflates more and more inside your chest. He waits in silence, patiently, as you struggle to put your thoughts into coherent words. “And maybe that’s all you see, someone who you don’t like and you want to avoid. And I get that, I really do. I don’t blame you, but… But it’s not that simple, Minho.” You try to swallow the lump growing in your throat, in vain. “And you know it is not. It’s easy when you are not the one dealing with him afterwards. I know you don’t like him, but this is not the way out.”

Minho doesn’t speak for another moment and your words linger heavy in the air.

“Is that what you think?” His voice is restrained and devoid of any strong emotions. It’s difficult to know what he is feeling and you can’t help but resent him a little for it. He’s able to keep himself collected while you’re a goddamn mess. “Do you think it’s because I don’t like him?”

“I mean… Yes?” You laugh but it comes out lifeless and dry. “Come on, Minho. Are you gonna tell me you actually enjoy Jun’s company?”

“Of course not, Y/N.” He breathes out, exasperated. All the teasing and amusement from earlier are gone without a trace you could actually think you’ve imagined it all. “It’s evident I don’t like the guy. That’s not the point.”

The blunt admission doesn’t trouble you near as much as you thought it would. Rather, it’s the determination weighing in on his last sentence that makes you stagger. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what I’m missing, Minho.”

“Don’t be sorry.” The determination is still there, along with what you think is anger. You don’t feel like you’re the target of it, though. He takes a deep breath and, when he speaks again, he chooses his words carefully. “What would happen if you came without him?”

The answer is awfully easy. The fight unfolds vividly in your mind and you look past it. You know Jun will be mad when he finds out, that he will ignore your calls and texts for weeks – maybe days, if you’re lucky. It’s not up to you anyway, since Jun appear to have his own time that changes depending on his mood. You know he will come back as if nothing happened despite that, eventually. You know that none of you will speak of it until another fight breaks out, only then might it be brought up again. Which is fine! It gives you plenty of time to worry about it in the future instead. The first few days are always the hardest, though, and the guilt is suffocating – you can feel it, even now. A chocked wry laugh comes out of your throat. How is it possible to feel guilty for something that has not even happened yet?

It’s because, you realize, the remorse doesn’t come from this specific and hypothetical scenario. The lingering heavy pressure that fills up your chest comes, alternatively, from all the other countless arguments you had throughout the past few months. These fights planted seeds of shame and guilt in your heart and watered them. The seeds bloomed into thorny vines and craved marks in your heart like carving stone.

These apprehensions run through your veins blended with your own blood. The constant fear and dread of taking too much space, of being too loud, of being selfish and a burden, they are part of you like stretch marks.

You’re aware that fights will happen regardless of what you do, but still, deliberately giving them motives feels even worse.

“I don’t want him to be mad, Minho.” You say instead, and silently wonder why you feel comfortable talking about this with Minho, when it’s something you hardly feel with yourself. “You know the picture it paints. If I went to a party where he was specifically asked not to come, that’s like cheating.” You cringe at your own words. “Kind of. I don’t know, Minho. You know what I mean, you’re not dumb. You would get mad too.”

“Of course I wouldn’t.” He states nonchalantly and it surprises you. You scoff, annoyed, but he continues. “I’m serious. You’re asking whether I’d be mad if my girlfriend went to a party with her friends without me, right?” You feel a frenetic energy growing inside you, your entire body buzz with tension. It feels wrong, forbidden. Minho, on the other hand, is still as tranquil as he has ever been, unaware of the vileness of the conversation. “If so, then the answer is no. Of course not. Thinking my partner will cheat on me only because I’m not around is kinda dumb, isn’t it? If my presence is the only thing stopping them from doing it, then why am I with them? I obviously don’t trust that person at all.”

Your heart pounds against your ribs and your breath is caught in your throat. You know Minho is not teasing you, his tone is devoid of malice, and he comes off as anything but judgmental – which makes it somehow worse. Deep inside, you wish he were disapproving, critical of you. You wish he showed disappointment and disdain for your choices and actions, anything that would sustain the twisted image you had of yourself. You wanted him to put the blame on you, right in your face, with the same fierceness he had displayed that day at the company building. You needed him to, so you could maybe start making some sense of things.

Instead, he was collecting the few convictions you had and putting them under a different light, showing you how they change and distort when viewed from other angles.

He is wrong, you feel it in your bones. He does not understand. Minho is not getting the full picture. You open your mouth to tell him, to explain what he’s so badly missing.

Nothing comes out.

If my presence is the only thing stopping them from doing it, then why am I with them? I obviously don’t trust that person at all.

You squeeze your eyes shut. He is wrong. He doesn’t understand.

“What if you don’t tell him you’re coming?” He questions, and you inhale air back into your lungs.

“What?” The night has fallen and you shiver.

“Are you seeing him on Saturday?” He asks, with a low but stern voice.

You try glimpsing inward, at the hurricane of thoughts swirling in your mind. Silently, you thank the solid wall helping you to maintain balance.

No, you're not seeing him on Saturday—at least, you haven't planned anything. Of course, you haven't. Jun went silent for over a week and only came back today. Before you could plan anything, you both ended up in a fight. There's still a chance you might make up before Saturday, though.

Actually, Jun can call you at any moment. Or not. He can call you in the next five minutes or in the next five days. He can simply show up at your place at any time, as he’s done before.

Including on Saturday.

The possibilities of things going wrong are endless.

But, obviously, you’re not saying all of that to Lee Know, so you stick with simplicity by saying, “I don’t think so.”

“Then come.” He appeals, making your heart squeeze, “And don’t tell him.”

Oh, if things were that simple. You shut your eyes, imagining how it would be to see the world through his eyes.

What would happen if he were to be standing in front of you right now? What would you see? Would you catch the same glimpse of disappointment you did that day? Would you find shame and pity in his face, when facing the mess of person you’ve become? Would you find anger and contempt?

Or would you see his face matching the softness and understanding you hear in his voice right now?

You open your eyes wide.

It made no sense. You question your own sanity.

“Why are you being nice?” You can’t help but ask. Fuck it. “It’s weird, Minho. Why would you even care?”

“The way you talk, I’m actually starting to wonder how poorly I’ve treated you.” The trace of hurt among the playfulness in his tone did not go unnoticed. “Am I this monstrous?”

“That’s not it.” You cut in quickly, your thoughts and feelings tangling to the point of becoming an unrecognizable mess.

“Y/N.” He says, and you curse the effect he has on you every time he says your name.

Why does it feel so intimate? Why does it feel so profound, like he’s reaching for the edges of your broken heart and feeling its wounds with the tip of his fingers?

But most importantly, why does he sound to be in as much pain as you are?

“You will be safe.” He says, and the certainty in his tone makes you defensive. He means well, you know, but it is hard to stop the hold back the grim laugh.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, Minho.” You are safe now. Who does he think he is, implying otherwise? He knows nothing about Jun and your relationship.

He knows nothing about you.

“Sure. I probably don’t.” He dismisses, a little far-fetched, and the graveness in his voice fades away. “Anyway. Come up with a dozen theories of why I’m suddenly being nice now, I don’t mind. Actually, I’d love to hear them on Saturday, so be creative.” You want to protest, but he continues, “And save my number, for God’s sake. Is Chan’s the only number you have saved on your contact list?”

Contrasting feelings battle inside your heart and mind. You feel on the edge, like your world has been turned upside-down. The exhaustion weighs in on your shoulders, and you ache for your bed.

You look up at the sky again, allowing the darkness of nocturnal silence embrace you. It’s a shame you can’t see stars. “I actually have Bin’s and Han’s too.”

“Really?” He wheezes, untying just a little the knot of tension between you two.

“And Hyunjin’s.” You don’t know why you add.

“Now you’re just trying to hurt me.” The smile grows on your lips. “See you on Saturday.”

You hum, too tired to argue, and he hangs up.

You stare blankly at your phone. Your body is both numb and buzzing with a weird energy you can’t name. The thoughts in your head spin so quickly that, just as a Newton’s disk, a blank space is left.

A notification pops up and catches your eye.

Unknown: I really meant it when I said I’m not giving you the chance to skip this one.

Unknown: Lemme know if you need a ride.

Unknown: and save my number.

On your way back home, through bright streets and packed sidewalks, you allow your mind to wander.

Going to anywhere explicitly without Jun was a powerful statement by itself. The fact that it was with the members had an extra impact. Until now, the boys had maintained an overall neutral approach when it came to Jun (except, obviously, for Minho). This changes things, though. Could it be that the request came from Minho individually, and not from all of them? Did Chan know about it? Had he agreed with it? What if Minho was asking you to come without Jun for his own amusement, for the drill of it?

You rub your temples, finally arriving to your apartment. I’m going insane.

As you press the elevator button, one thought stands out amidst the confusion of feelings.

Why would it matter?

What would change if it were a request coming from Minho or even from Chan himself? Jun was never the biggest fan of your friends and he never tried to hide it, not once. They, on the other side, although never explicitly stated not liking Jun, always kept an overall polite approach toward him. Being honest, you’d be surprised if they had any slightly positive opinions about Jun. Could you even blame them? Could Jun blame them? What right had Jun to be upset if the people he so clearly disregarded ended up despising him back?

You step into your apartment, close the door and take off your shoes. The place is pitch dark, but you know all the corners and walls.

If, in the worst case scenario, Jun did end up throwing a tantrum, then what?

You shake your head, reluctant. It is like a big silent lake in your mind with dark and still waters – you do not wish to know what lays underneath. This train of thought is like throwing stones on the water, disturbing the unprovoked.

A resentment starts blooming in your chest, and you direct your mind toward Minho and his motives.

That is not the point, though. The voice echoes in your head.

Even though your better judgment tells you that you should not trust people this easily, still, you believe him. The resentment and anger that had barely bloomed withers, powerless.

Minho hadn’t called you for some evil plan to sabotage your relationship.

Minho called to give you a second chance.

You arrive in your bedroom and turn the lights on at last, flinching from the sudden brightness. The bedroom isn’t cramped, but looks rather small due to the expanded bed. Normally twin-sized, the bed had the structure to be pulled out and expanded, turning into a full-sized one. It looks comfier, and the messy sheets call as siren songs.

In between pillows and blankets, you sigh in relief.

There are many things you still fail to understand, that day at the company is, certainly, the biggest of them all. As time passes, you struggle more and more to make sense of what you’ve heard back then, and in other circumstances, you would’ve thought you had imagined it. Minho and his motives were just a small part of the whole picture.

In the end, one feeling stood out from the tangle: you want to make things right.

Shutting yourself away would not solving anything – in fact, it had only made things worse. It did not help you feel better with yourself. You still couldn’t think of a good way to talk to Chan and the others about it. The disappointment glazing in Minho’s eyes still haunt you to this day, hand in hand with the anger in his shouting.

And on top of all of it, there was what Minho had said on the call. He did imply that they, Chan at least, were suffering, didn’t he? Chan misses you. And it’s not just him. These two sentences kept repeating in your mind like a broken disc, being as soothing as they were painful.

How did it change things?

Could it be that, by trying to push them away so they would not get hurt, you had caused even more harm?

Certainly, there were a lot of missing pieces from this huge puzzle you were trying to solve. Regardless of that, by the time you fall asleep, you are sure of two things:

First, you want to make things right.

Second, you want to go to that party.

The days passed with no major events and you ended up not telling Jun. You weren’t entirely okay with that, as the guilt was still very much there. The sense of wrongness persisted in not telling him all of your plans and routines, especially if they didn’t include him. It was hard to shake off the feeling of betrayal, and you relied on Minho’s words for comfort more often than you were willing to admit.

Jun also had his part on making things easier. For the first time, you thanked the absence and the silence from his end. It’s easier to not speak about something when you simply don’t… well. Speak.

For once, you chose to be bold and you chose to be selfish. You would go and hang out with your friends, leaving the consequences for the future you to deal with.

It was around 5pm. You had already showered and was going through your wardrobe, thinking about what to wear. That was when your phone buzzed with a notification.

Lee Know.: I meant it when I said we are not giving you the alternative of not coming. This is not up for discussion.

Lee Know.: Lemme know if you need a ride.

Lee Know.: and save my number.

Lee Know.: I’m coming to pick you up at 6.

You rolled your eyes. I never said I needed a ride. Minho seemed to be pushing all your buttons and being very aware of that.

You: Thanks, I’ll pass. Tell me where it is and I’ll call an Uber.

The response was almost instantaneous, and made you frown.

Lee Know.: can’t. sorry.

The audacity. Two words and your felt your blood boil.

You: ??? what’s your problem?

You: I said I’m going, you don’t need to escort me.

Annoyed, you let the phone on the coffee table and marched towards your room. You chose a black romper that, even though the neckline was lower than what you would usually wear, it had long loose sleeves that made it one of your favorite pieces of clothes. It was elegant, but mainly comfortable with a very casual vibe to it. It fit the occasion. You dried your hair and put some makeup on, keeping it the simplest you could. Although Minho had called it a “party”, you had attended some of these gatherings before and you hoped it was going to be the same: just some close friends reunited in the dorms. Nothing classy and no glamour. Just a bunch of people hanging out with each other and having fun.

You picked white sneakers and went back to the living room.

You were putting the sneakers on and Minho had yet to reply. If you ended up being late, he would be the one to blame.

Between tying your shoes and cursing Minho, you heard a jingling of metal followed by the click of your front door being unlocked. Your breath was caught in your throat when you saw Jun crossing the doorstep, his gaze finally finding yours.

Fuck.

The argument unfolded unsurprisingly, but by no means coolly. It was like a scene of a movie that you’ve watched countless times and you know all the lines by heart. He flipped out about you sneaking out, as expected, but nothing came even close to the way he looked at you after you said he could not come along.

First, he was furious, thinking you were doing so to make him jealous. Then, when he understood that it was, actually, the boys themselves who asked you to come alone, he was livid.

You tried to cool it off. You explained how stressed the boys were and how this was something to distract them when comeback is so close. You tried telling him that it was something for them and by them, and that they had all the rights to invite whoever they wanted. It was understandable they wanted to keep it between actually close friends – which Jun, clearly, was not.

It had little to no effect. At least, not the one you wanted.

Between cursing and outrageous claims, Jun accused you of choosing them over him. You asked, bordering on pleading, when has it become a competition? Why does it have to be one over the other?

Tears burned on the back of your eyes as you begged for understanding, for sympathy. Jun, meanwhile, laughed wryly. I can’t tell if you’re this naïve or if you’re simply playing dumb. Almost like you both spoke different languages, and you hated how dumb you actually felt.

You like the attention. He said spilling venom, and you looked at him horrified, unable to form any words. I’m right, am I not? I’m so disappointed, Y/N.

That rang a bell in your head.

Maybe it was because you had spent even more time recently thinking back to that time in the elevator, but, even involuntarily, the comparison was inevitable. By putting that event with Minho next to the current Jun, it became obvious to you how little the latter affected you – especially when set side by side. The tears rolling down your cheeks started to dry.

So now, even as you stare at Jun’s horrified expression, like he’s just seen the most atrocious of atrocities in your phone, the fact that the quarrel happened in such a predictable way doesn’t weigh in your conscience as much as you thought it would.

Jun laughs sharply and you know that, whatever it was that Minho had the fortune to text back in the worst moment possible and catch Jun’s attention, made Jun angrier. It is pointless to argue and you don’t feel particularly angry having Jun going through your phone. When you lay back on the couch, all you feel is tiredness.

Jun speaks again but the words go past you without much solid meaning. Joke. Humiliating. Rich. Whore. He drops your phone carelessly, falling to the carpet with a muffled thump. He leaves the apartment with big and loud steps, slamming the door shut on his way out.

Seconds slowly tick by as you’re left alone in silence, the ringing in your ears reflecting the state of your own mind. You force yourself to take deep breaths, calming down your wild heartbeat at the same time that the lump in your throat starts to shrink.

When you finally reach the phone laying on the carpet, your mind is blank and you feel oddly numb. You unlock the device and find the chat with Minho already open. You tell yourself it is normal for your hands to shake.

Lee Know.: I meant it when I said we are not giving you the alternative of not coming. This is not up for discussion.

Lee Know.: Tell me if you need a ride.

Lee Know.: and save my number.

Lee Know.: I’m coming to pick you up at 6.

You: I never said I needed a ride. Tell me where it is, I’ll call an Uber.

Lee Know.: can’t. sorry.

You: ??? what’s your problem?

You: I said I’m going, you don’t need to escort me.

Lee Know.: your boyfriend. he is the problem.

You sigh heavily - God damn it, Lee Know.

At that moment, as if he was listening to your thoughts himself, the phone rings in your hands. You answer it and the words seem leave your mouth on their own accord, “He just left.”

“Where are you?” He asks, after a moment. Minho’s voice is hard, while yours is shaky. You feel exposed, and you vision blurs. You don’t want to start crying again.

“I’m home.” Your voice trembles as you sniffle. I can’t do this now. “It’s okay. Everything is fine.” You gather yourself and speak with a confidence that you both know to be a lie.

“I’m outside.” Minho tells you and it takes you a moment to understand what it meant. Outside…?

You bolt upright and dash toward the balcony, spotting him as soon as you reach the ledge. Even from several stories high up, Minho’s dark figure stands out, standing next to a black car parked across the street. When his eyes meet yours, even at this height, your heartbeat hiccups.

“Do you want me to come up there?” He questions, maintaining eye contact despite the distance.

“It’s fine, you don’t have to.” You dismiss promptly. You were confused about many things, but having Minho in your apartment at that moment sounded undoubtedly like a bad idea. “I’ll be there in five.”

“Y/N, are you sure you are okay? I can call Chan and…” Minho’s voice trails off, his glance shifting from you to something across the street. “Oh, fuck me.” He swears under his breath, so lowly you barely catch it.

“What’s up? Minho?” You bend over the ledge a little, as an attempt to see whatever caught Minho’s attention.

Then your mind connect the dots, and you feel an utter idiot for not considering it earlier.

Jun just left the apartment. It couldn’t be more than five minutes since he had slammed the fucking door behind him. Which meant that Jun was still in the building by the time you picked up the phone.

Was indeed, because you’re sure the other figure you see stepping out the main entrance right now is Jun.

Your eyes dart toward Minho again and you say, soberly and carefully. “Minho.” All the weakness from a moment ago was gone. “Don’t.”

You start hearing Jun’s voice on the background and, though you can’t tell what exactly he is saying, you don’t have to. He’s angry and you watch his figure slowly approach Minho standing as still as a statue on the other side of the street.

You turn around and run.

Jun’s voice gets gradually louder and clearer, indicating he’s getting closer. You press the elevator button anxiously multiple times, but the elevator seems to take forever to arrive. You curse it silently. You curse the elevator and the lack of technological advance to build faster elevators. You curse the building for being too high and curse yourself for not living on the first floor.

“Leave.” Minho’s voice is cold as ice and sharp as a knife and sends shivers down your spine. “You don’t wanna do this.”

Fuck it. You take the stairs.

Jumping two and more steps at a time, you fly downstairs. “Minho.” You call brethless – a beg, a plead, an order, even you can’t tell. He cannot get into trouble, especially an argument in public. If Minho is seen by anyone in public, a fan or not, and it ends up reaching the internet, he’ll be screwed. He cannot stain his image, he’s a fucking idol, for God’s sake! “Please.”

“What is your problem, dude?” You make out Jun’s words, and his bold anger is maddening. Jun should know better than to cause a scene with Minho. He needs to know better. Jun cannot be that immature.

He can’t be. Right?

But rather than the idiotic bad temper, it is the fact that you can clearly hear him now, meaning that he is closer to Minho than you thought, what really troubles you.

Hurry, hurry, hurry. Your loud footsteps echo across the staircase mixed with the sound of you panting.

“Have you not caused enough damage to that poor girl?” Jun goes on mockingly.

“Excuse me?” You hear Minho say between gritted teeth.

“I know your type, big boy. I see what you’re doing.” The proximity between them makes your stomach sink, you can hear Jun even now that he’s not shouting. “You never liked me, huh? Was it because I stole your little toy?”

You feel sick.

“I don’t like what you’re insinuating.” Minho says grimly, “And I’d ask you to not come any closer with this finger pointed.”

“Minho!” You call out again. He needs to back off now. You feel the tears burning on the back of your eyes. Where the fuck is the first floor? Faster, Y/N! Faster faster faster faster.

Jun cackle dryly. “Oh, Cut the crap. We’re not dumb, you know? We heard that little show you put on.”

Jun wouldn’t tell him that. He wouldn’t do it.

“Minho, don’t do anything!” You plead between short breaths, over Jun’s voice. Minho can’t listen to him. “I’m almost-“

The momentary lapse of focus makes you stumble upon your feet, and you let out a yelp as you stumble down. You desperately grab the handrail to stop yourself from falling. The attempt, however, is awkward and you barely manage to steady yourself as one of your foot continues its descend as the rest of your body is jerked backwards.

You find yourself laying stiffly lying on the stairs, still holding on the handrail with one of your hands. Your heartbeat is as fast as the wings of a flying hummingbird, it is stuck in your throat. You let out a breath, then follow to take multiple deep breathes as a way to slow down your heart. Still, you don’t attempt to stand up just yet, not trusting your legs to not act like jelly after the shock. You’re okay.

A moment after, you register the slam of a door being opened extremely close. A fear of having someone seeing you like this, sitting on the dirty ground of the staircase so obviously affected starts forming in your mind. Before you can articulate it, and perhaps stand up to compose yourself, Lee Know enters your line of sight. Oh, so I was on the first floor.

Damn, so close.

His eyes widen as he assimilates the scene in front of him, and you fear his eyes might pop out of his skull. He went paler by two tones at least, and you wonder how bad you look. You start reassuring him you’re fine, but when you’re about to stand up, Minho already flew and is by your side, stopping you.

“Do not move.” He takes your hand from the handrail in his, holds it for a moment, and places it on your side. You watch him as his eyes run through your body, inspecting it. Being the main focus of his attention is intense, and you shift in place, uneasy. “Did you hit your head? Your back? Do you know what your name is?”

You blink, surprised by the overflow of questions. There is something so tender about the look in his eyes that lit up an entire lighthouse in your chest. There is also a fear of someone who has seen a ghost – or went through a near death experience from falling down the stairs – and you have the urge to take his hand on yours, but you hold yourself back. The apprehension in his demeanor is something new to you and worth to note. His hair looks soft and it’s shorter than it was last time you saw him. The shade also changed, a chocolate kind of brown replaced the black – and you decide you like it just as much. Your eyes travel down to look at what he’s wearing. The black bottom-up shirt has the first and second bottom open, making you instantly shot your eyes back up. You find Minho tilting his head to the side. “Y/N?”

“Yes?” The word comes out as breathless as before, and you blame it on the fall. You cough and close your eyes, breathing in slowly. Calm down, Y/N.

“I’ve asked you a question.” Minho says, and you spot a hint of amusement in the sea of concern in his voice.

You open your eyes. “You’ve asked several questions, actually.”

He smiles softly, which works against your goal of slowing your heartbeats. “Yet, you haven’t answered not even one.”

You roll your eyes. “I’m fine.” He doesn’t say anything and keeps staring, waiting for you to go on. “Really. It was just not the most graceful of my falls, I guess.”

He cracks first and chuckles, which gets a laugh from you and soon you’re both cackling.

The laughs have calmed down when he inhales deeply, close his eyes and let his head fall back, “What the fuck were you thinking?” He breathes out. Even though he’s not looking at you, you feel the need to look down, fidgeting.

You murmur, “I was scared you could get in trouble.” It doesn’t give half the picture of what was going through your head and it sounds pathetically silly, but you don’t elaborate any further.

“So you thought that running downstairs would be a good idea?” There is a shadow of teasing in his voice. You had expected Minho to make fun of you. You could see him telling you how dumb and reckless you were, saying how even kids know they shouldn’t run when going downstairs. You expected to be blamed for something so stupid. Instead, you encounter fear when he asks lowly, “Do you have any idea how badly you could’ve been injured?”

This rough concern coming from him was unsettling – you knew he was a caring person, but he’s only shown it when it came to the other members. You had never experienced it yourself before. “What else could I do, Minho?” Your voice doesn’t falter. “What was I supposed to do? Just wait and hope you’re not seen causing a scene? Chris would kill me.”

“I was not causing a scene.” He’s bitter, and you understand. After all, he is right. He wasn’t the one adding fuel to the fire.

“Would that even matter?” Your question comes out as a plead, and for once you’re not embarrassed. You both know what you mean. You’re aware of how they have to watch even the most innocent of actions when in public. Tabloids have the power to mess with someone’s image, it doesn’t matter if they are true or not. The public doesn’t care, and neither does the company. His carrier is intrinsically involved with public image. What could happen if someone recognized him arguing with Jun, and ended up posting on the internet? Idol Lee Know, fighting with a random civilian on the street. Would it matter who was the one who started it? The company had taken severe actions for much less. “You should’ve gone back inside the car and locked the damn door.”

It’s his time to roll his eyes, but before he respond, the slam of a door echoes throughout the staircase. You tense, your gaze shifting towards the stairway. Minho, on the other hand, simply stands up, but with his eyes still fixed on you.

Jun goes up a few stairs and shortly reach both of you. “What the hell?!” He shouts at Minho, spotting him first. Minho doesn’t acknowledge his presence. “What the fuck is wron-“ He follows Minho’s stare only to find you and, probably thrown off by the strange image of you half sitting half laid on the floor of a public staircase, Jun’s behavior shifts. The aggression is replaced by concern and confusion “Oh my God, Y/N. Are you okay?” He mentions to step closer towards you, but Minho blocks his passage with an arm. You see Jun’s face getting red with anger again. “Who do you think you are?! She’s my girlfriend!”

Although Jun storms at Minho, the latter doesn’t even glance at his direction. Instead, you find Minho searching for your eyes – and when they do find them, you don’t think of your heart skipping a beat. Somehow, you understand the silent question in his gaze: he wants to know from you whether he should allow Jun to come closer or not.

It makes your heart swell.

You don’t want Minho to give in – you don’t want yourself to give in. Although it shouldn’t be some kind of competition of who has more power over who, you think. First, to get some of your dignity back, you should at least look at them in the eye. You grip on the handrail once more and propel your body upward, rising to your feet.

At least you did, for a brief second. Then, you’re taken by a sudden strike of pain that hit your right ankle like a lightening. You cry out and collapse to the floor again – or you would, if it wasn’t for Minho. Before you know it, Minho has one arm around your body and pulls you closer to him. Leaning on him, you regain your balance and stand on one foot – the one not hurting.

“Are you okay?” He asks lowly as he stares down at your feet.

“Yes.” You breathe out and follow his gaze. “Fuck. Shit. It wasn’t hurting before. I swear.” You look at him apologetically, and you don’t understand the need to apologize.

“I know, Y/N.” He meets your eyes and soothes your side with the hand steading you for a moment. “It’s okay. Let’s take you to the hospital.”

You shake your head anxiously, “It’s fine. We’ll be late if we don’t leave.”

“I can take her.” Jun chimes in with a hint of smugness, reminding both of you of his unfortunate presence.

“I don’t need to be taken anywhere.” You snap at him and unconsciously try to step back from Minho. The pain shots through your body once again and you clench your teeth, instantly leaning back on him again.

Minho lets out an annoyed sigh. Suddenly, he lifts you up and holds you bridal-style. “Ya! I can walk!” You squeal, ignoring the butterflies in your stomach and the increasing warm on your cheeks.

“I’m sure you can. But as you said it yourself, we’ll be late if we don’t leave and we don’t have much time.” He says, turning around. You see Jun’s shocked look, and becoming more and more horrified after Minho says, “If you excuse us, you’re in the way.”

“I said I can take her. You can go on and meet your friends.” Jun doesn’t hide the venomous intent.

“Oh, I will.” Minho replies, indifferently. “With her. Now, move.”

Both yours and Jun’s faces get redder and redder, but you guess it’s from different emotions. “Or what?” He growls, and it sends a shiver down your spine. It’s gone too far. This bickering went too far. You want to apologize, to clarify things. You open your mouth and nothing comes out – you don’t know what to apologize for. You almost say “It’s not what you think!”, but you realize it sounds as idiotic as not saying anything.

“I’ve been told to keep myself away from problems, and, as you can see, my hands are quite busy.” You groan quietly, and hides your face on Minho’s shirt. Slightly bad choice – his scent wraps around you like a blanket, and you become hyperaware from the steady thud coming from his chest, far slower than yours. Oh my God, can he feel my heartbeat? “So I’m afraid we’ll have to stand here for hours just staring at each other’s faces. It doesn’t sound much fun, does it?” Minho tilts his head to one side, “Although my face is way more pleasant to look at.”

You tug Minho’s shirt, “Minho. That’s enough.” Jun makes an outraged noise, and you exasperate, “Come on, Jun. Stop being childish, you two. Can we go, please?” The last request, directed at Minho, comes out way softer than the rest and you feel your face burning once more.

In disbelief, Jun steps aside. As Minho passes by him, you murmur a sincere apology. You feel Minho’s shoulder tense, but he doesn’t stop walking.

Jun doesn’t follow you outside the building. Minho crosses the street toward the parked car in silence. There is a tension in the air, and you know he is angry. Minho is definitely mad at Jun, for being an ass, but you feel he is mad at you too. The silence is intimidating, though, and you don’t dare to break it.

When he reaches the car, he shifts his hold onto you to just an arm for a brief moment, enough so he could open the car door. He does it so smoothly you could’ve missed. Gently, he places you on the passenger seat, pushing the seat backwards to give you plenty of space to stretch your leg.

His hands hover for a moment, hesitantly, but before you can ask, he removes them and let them fall on his sides in closed fists. Minho’s expression is grave, and you can almost see the gears spinning in his head. He inhales deeply and runs his fingers back on his hair.

When he comes to look at you again, the somberness is gone. He’s locked his thoughts and emotions somewhere far away inside his mind and if you had one wish, it’d be for you to have the key.

Although his voice is soft, it feels somehow forced. “Are you comfortable? Does anything else hurt?”

“I am fine, I promise.” You shift anxiously on the leather fancy seat, “Extremely comfortable.” You add, giving him both thumbs up and a smile.

He scoffs dryly, though some tension washed off his body. Pleased with easing things a little, you think that, perhaps, leaving with Minho and then going to the party to meet you friends again doesn’t have to be so painfully awkward. Things are fine, you think. There is a big chance that the awkwardness exists only in your head, that it might not be the same to the others. Maybe, hanging out with them will be as natural as it always was. Maybe, they don’t hate you. Maybe, things will be alright.

After all, they are your friends. You don’t need to be on the edge.

You thought Minho was going to close your door and walk to the driving seat. Instead, out of nowhere, he comes closer, hovering over you. You yelp and hold your breath, dizzy by the unexpected and definitely not usual proximity. His perfume hasn’t left you yet. His side profile is so close that you can see all the small dots on his skin. You want to caress it. Your eyes move to his long dark eyelashes. You’re jealous. You are amazed by how sharp his features are, and you wonder if it would be weird to have your fingers tracing his jaw. Then his cheekbones. Then his nose.

Then his lips.

“Found it.” He whispers to himself. Suddenly, your backseat reclines a little and you’re caught by surprise. “Is it better?” He finally turns to face you. Still close, but not as close as before, you’re sure it doesn’t take much to notice the flushed mess you are. You feel you were caught doing something very, very bad. And wrong. Oh my God, so wrong.

You shake your head, trying to shoo the wicked thoughts away. When you look your eyes, though, you feel your sanity slipping through every crack in your mind as a smirk grows on Minho’s lips. “I asked you a question, Y/N.”

God help me.

All you manage to do is nod once, gaining a hum in satisfaction from him. He backs away and close your door, and you watch him walk around the car and enter on the driver’s side. You close your eyes and take deep breaths, trying to calm down the pounding inside your chest. He puts his seatbelts on and you wait for him to start the engine. There is a moment of silence, forcing you to open your eyes.

Minho is staring at you. With an eyebrow raised and failing to hold back a smile, he looks at you with curiosity. You look at him back, challenging. “What?”

“Seatbelts, Y/N. Or should I put them on too?” He teases, and your eyes open wide. Definitely not. Shortly you are fastening your seatbelt as Minho finally gives up on holding back and laughs. You cross your arms and curse him under your breath, while he starts the engine and pull off.

A few minutes later, the car dashboard signalizes Minho is receiving a call. Involuntary, you glance at the screen at the same moment Minho takes the call. It’s Chris.

“Yes, Hyung?”

“Hey, are you on your way? Did you get Y/N?” Chan’s voice comes through the speaker. Your heart aches a little, realizing how long it has been since you started avoiding them, and how much you missed the casualty and warmth.

“I don’t think we can make it, Chan-hyung. Y/N probably got a sprained ankle or something of the sort.” You catch Minho’s eyes shifting from the road to your stretched leg just for a moment. “I’m taking her to the hospital.”

“To the hospital?!” Chan’s surprised squeal makes you blush, embarrassed for causing trouble even now. “Oh my Gosh. I’m gonna kill that dickhead. That was him, wasn’t it? That fucker I will-”

The sudden shift from surprise to anger caught you off guard. You open your mouth to say something, but the words don’t come.

“It was not the dickhead, for the matter.” Minho cuts the flow of cursing off. “Also, you’ll like to know we’re in the car right now.” He adds quickly, at the same time you try to think of something to say. “She can hear you.”

Chan audibly chokes and coughs. “Oh, fuck. Sorry.” He manages to say, cleaning his throat. “I’m sorry. Hi Y/N.”

He’s obviously embarrassed, which makes you feel slightly better. “Hi Channie.”

“You should’ve started saying that, Minho.” Chan says, lowly, and a smile grows in your lips once more when Minho murmurs something under his breath. “Are you okay, sweetheart? What happened?”

His soft voice was enough to dismantle any kind of discomfort, you thought. “I’m okay.” You start.

“She fell downstairs.” Minho chimes in, and you shoot an angry look at him, which he ignores bluntly. “She thought it would be a great idea to run down several stories of stairs, like a damn child.” Minho says wryly, keeping his eyes on the road. “She’s lucky it’s not anything more serious.”

“I was trying to save your ass!” You protest.

“My ass did not need to be saved.” He states.

“Oh, sure.” You roll your eyes. “Clearly you were not about to jump at my boyfriend’s throat. I wasn’t even there and I could tell.”

“Excuse me?” His voice falters with anger and he scoffs, “I was about to jump at his throat? I think you might mistaking the parties here, dear.”

You ignore the pet name and point your finger at him. “You should’ve gone back inside the car the moment you saw him and you know it.” His eyes travel from the road, to your face, then to your finger and back to your face.

“Are you actually pointing a finger at me right now?” He raises his eyebrows and turns his eyes back to the road. Heat spreads in your cheeks and you recoil your hand.

“Should I ask or…?” Chan speaks up hesitantly.

“No.” Minho says fiercely and you huff, crossing your arms across your chest and looking away.

“You didn’t get into trouble, right, Minho?” Chan asks again.

“Of course not.”

“You’re welcome.” You chime in, grimly, and you don’t face away when Minho shoots an angry look at you.

“Good to know you two are getting along.” Chan offers, with a hint of fun in his tone.

You gasp and utter “We are not getting along.”

At the same time, Minho says nonchalantly, “A hundred percent.” You stare at him in disbelief, but he refuses to glance back at you.

“Do you think it’s serious, Minho?” Chan asks and the shift in his voice is so abrupt that, for a moment, you don’t know what he is referring to.

You catch Minho’s eyes shifting from the road to your legs again, and you feel the growing heat in your cheeks. You’d give anything to go back in time and choose some jeans or anything that covered your legs instead.

“It’s probably just a strained ankle, hyung.” He glances away and you shift anxiously.

“I am fine.” You say, exasperated. “I even told him we should head to the dorms instead.”

“That’s because you’re stubborn, not fine.” Chan cuts you, and you see the corner of Minho’s mouth turning up. “Keep me updated, Minho. We’ll talk later.” Minho agrees monosyllabically and hangs up.

Minho stays quiet during the rest of the ride. You risk one or two glances in his direction, but he seems to remain unaware, his attention fixed on the traffic. Sometimes, you catch his jaw clenched, and he holds the wheel so tightly for a moment that his knuckles go white.

But here's the thing: besides these small and subtle gestures, his expression remains painfully plain. It's puzzling, and it intrigues you against your will. You keep telling yourself that not only do you not care, but also it has nothing to do with you. The man would probably not even make the effort to reply if you asked, or maybe you'd hear a 'None of your business,' if he felt like it.

After a moment, you decide that you don't mind. You reach for the air to ask what's bothering him, to seek permission for a glimpse into his inaccessible mind, but you exhale right after. The question dies on your tongue when he takes a turn, and the large white building emerges.

Maybe for the best.

He parks swiftly, quickly turning the car off and getting off. When you turn to open your own door, he’s already standing outside and doing it first.

“Should I get a wheelchair?” Minho tries, hesitant, his hands dance on the air unsure of what to do.

A short laugh escapes you before you can stop it. “It’s not necessary, Minho.” You mention to get off and, when he offers his help, you accept it. “Thank you, it’s okay. I’m sure I can handle it.”

He holds your hand with one hand, while the other presses your back giving you balance. Minho doesn’t answer right away and when you look up, he has a confused look on his face. He blinks once, then twice, assimilating your words. “What?” You can’t help but ask.

“I’m not leaving.” He declares, and it’s your turn to blink confusedly.

“Chan is waiting for you.” You explain, firming your weight to your good foot.

“Yes.” He moves to your side still holding your hand firmly, while having his other hovering on your back. “And for you too. So let’s go inside.”

You don’t move, still staring at him. “You’re going inside with me? You don’t have to.”

A soft smile blooms shyly on Minho’s lips. “Silly. You can barely stand. Shall we?”

A feeling of déjà vu fills your chest, and you shove it back inside. You let him guide you into the hospital, scolding yourself silently for finding yourself in front of this building with Lee Know by your side more often than you deemed appropriate.

#skz fanfic #stray kids fanfic #stray kids x reader #lee know fanfic #lee minho fanfic #lee know x reader

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tinybirbwrites · 1 year

Text

Losing Control (batfam/reader)

this was part of that one idea i talked about a while ago. it’s unfinished, but i thought i’d share it anyway. small warning for language and mild violence, also attempted sexual assault but it’s not very detailed and doesn’t get very far.

tried keeping reader genderneutral, not sure if i missed anything.

hope you enjoy reading!

____________

The first time it happened, I got angry during training.

Sparring with anyone from the batfamily would rarely lead to a victorious outcome—they were too experienced, too talented, too ambitious. I didn't expect to win, but a tie would be nice. And yet, I always ended up on the ground, or trapped in someone's hold. I rarely landed a hit myself, and barely managed to dodge.

It was frustrating, and more often than not, I found myself getting angry at the guys for never giving me a chance, but mostly at myself for being so weak.

But never had I blacked out like this before.

One moment I was on the ground, pressed down by Jason's weight, the next I was standing upright and staring down at him, his chest beneath my foot. He was frantically tapping my leg, and I realized that I was pressing down on his ribs hard enough to break them.

I immediately stumbled backwards and sat down, trying to recall what had happened, while Jason groaned and sat up. He didn't seem hurt, thankfully, just out of breath and surprised.

“Well,” he said, “that one was new.”

We didn't get to talk about what happened afterwards.

It was getting late and I was on my way home when it happened again. I remember being followed and touched by three tall guys, terrified to the point of being unable to move, to defend myself.

Next thing I knew, all three men were on the ground, knocked out with broken noses, covered in strange bite marks and scratches. I called the police and went home, scared and confused.

The third time it happened, Damian was yelling at me because I had made a mistake. It was on patrol, and I usually stayed back so I wouldn't get in the way, but Dick had told me I should get involved more, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to learn anything new. But of course I had made a mistake, and Damian thought it necessary to burn it into my brain.

I loved Damian, but I hated being yelled at. The anger came easily, and next time I opened my eyes, I was being held against the wall by Bruce himself.

“Calm down,” he said. He was using the Batman Voice, sending chills down my spine and making me go limp immediately, scared of having made him angry, and scared of what I had done this time. Was Damian okay?

Luckily, Damian was unharmed, but he looked a bit pale and kept staring at me with wide eyes.

I told Bruce about my blackouts that night, so he took me back to the cave to run some tests.

“The causes are high surges of adrenaline,” Bruce stated calmly, “In other words; anger, or strong fear.”

“So I'm the Hulk now?” I scoffed, but it just turned into an exhausted sigh. Bruce had taken some of my blood and insisted on doing the tests now instead of waiting until tomorrow. I was about ready to pass out.

“I want to see the effects up close in a safe environment. Only that way will I be able to tell what's happening to your body.” Bruce was already walking towards a platform with a big cell made out of see-through, bulletproof glass.

“Can this wait until tomorrow? Please?” He stopped and looked back at me with a frown. “I know this is important, but I really need some sleep, and I don't even know if I can make it happen on command.”

He considered me for a long moment, making me squirm under his piercing gaze, before he finally nodded. “Go.”

“Damian?” I whispered, lightly knocking on his door. He had been sent away to bed early, leaving before I could apologize for what had happened. “Are you awake?”

The door unlocked, so I slowly opened it. Damian was already back on his bed, lying down with his back leaning against the headrest, arms crossed. He avoided my gaze, stubbornly staring at his feet instead.

I closed the door and leaned against it for a moment, unsure where I stood with him right now. Was he angry? Upset? Scared?

“Damian,” I started cautiously, “I'm sorry. I don't know exactly what happened, but I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you.”

“Wasn't scared,” he mumbled.

I couldn't help but smile. “Okay. But it's alright to be scared, you know that, right?”

He just gave a grunt.

“You also know I love you, yes? And that I'd never want to hurt you?”

He pulled his legs closer to his chest, turning his head away more. I could see his embarrassed pout before he could hide it.

“Damian?” I pushed gently. He let out a breath through his nose and mumbled something incoherent.

I slowly sat down on his bed near his feet. “What did you say? I didn't catch that.”

“I said,” he sighed, talking louder and more clearly, but still not looking at me, “that it's me who keeps hurting you. I knew that, but I didn't really see how much I hurt you until earlier today.”

He looked at me then, eyes full of shame, “I do not understand how you can still care about me.”

I was taken aback by his genuine words, as I was so used to his harsh shell. He rarely showed any softness or openness to anyone, aside maybe from Richard. I lifted a hand to gently cup his cheek, and he leaned into my touch like a cat.

“You're complicated to get along with, I'll give you that,” I said, “But I can see your heart, Damian. And I want to keep it safe. I know you don't always mean what you say, and no matter how much some things hurt, I will always care about you.”

He frowned, giving a thoughtful hum. “So you're just going to take the beating?”

I sighed. “Well, I don't want to, but what am I supposed to do? Yell at you? Besides, you don't always want me getting all emotional like right now. If I don't want to lose you, I'll just have to roll with the punches and deal with it and not take it personally.”

Damian gave a huff, then started shuffling around and pulling at my arm until I was lying down with him, letting him curl up in my arms and press his face against my collarbone.

“I will… try… to be less… harsh,” he muttered into my shirt. “I... don't want to lose you, either.”

“High adrenaline surge caused by anger is the initial trigger. It seems a part of their brain falls asleep, but the rest stays active, controlled by an unknown force that has yet to be understood. Physical changes are getting more apparent the longer they stay in that state. Increased length and sharpness of teeth, especially the canines. Aggressive behavior, borderline animalistic. No usage of vocabulary, only hissing, growling and snarling. The skin on both hands and arms starts turning dark black after one minute, and after three, the same happens to the eye whites, gums and tongue. It’s like tar slowly seeping out from every pore, covering what’s underneath.”

Bruce's notes were highly concerning, to say the least. He had kept a close eye on me the whole week, until, inevitably, I got angry during training yet again. He put me inside the cell and observed for twenty minutes, before getting me to calm down.

‘Getting me to calm down’ meant he sent Dick to make cooing noises at me until he got close enough to give me a hug. Miraculously, it worked wonders.

“You guys want me to listen to ASMR the whole day? So I won't get angry anymore? You do know that's not how it works, right?”

Bruce had invented a device that could comfortably be worn on my person, monitoring my vitals and sending a distress signal to the closest member of the batfamily in case my adrenaline got to critical levels again. Meanwhile, the boys had apparently unanimously agreed on a strategy on how to keep me calm, meaning they had put together a playlist with ASMR and calming ambience videos for me to listen to whenever I could feel my blood pressure starting to rise.

It was really sweet, but whether it was actually going to work was a whole nother question entirely.

“Don’t knock it till you try it,” Jason shrugged, then grimaced at his own words. “Fuck’s sake, I sound like Alfred.”

Dick and I were on an undercover mission. It was a small one, just for one night, in which we'd have to do our best to get some information out of Subject A, a thirty year old rich woman in a red dress and big red hat, and Subject B, the owner of a big company and the husband of Subject A.

Both were insufferable, absolutely the worst. Dick was a natural at being charming and disarming, so he had no problems with talking to either subject, though I could tell by the way he would clench his jaw whenever he smiled that he was just as annoyed as I was.

Me, on the other hand, could not stand another minute in the same room as either of those two. So I told Dick I would be getting some fresh air.

And because I had the best luck in the world, some lonely rich guy followed me outside and kept talking to me, and kept creeping closer to me until he was fully in my personal bubble, completely unprompted.

“Oh, you look cold,” he said, and because apparently he thought he had the right to touch me, wrapped an arm around my waist to press me closer to his side, “Maybe we should go back inside? Or maybe I could bring you home, hmm? You seem lonely, like me.”

Everything about this guy was creeping me out. He smelled so heavily of cologne that I wanted to gag, and he kept breathing into my face.

“I would very much like to be alone, to be honest,” I pressed out between clenched teeth, already feeling the familiar pounding in my head. “I did not give you any permission to touch me like this, so please, kindly back off, sir—now.”

He was murmuring something about reading my body language and subtext and getting clear signals of sexual interest, but I could hardly even hear him anymore over the pounding in my ears, my vision already fading more and more into black, as my adrenaline started to rise.

Then, suddenly, the man was being pulled away. Then I was being maneuvered to a more secluded part of the outside area, somewhere out of sight, and Dick was standing in front of me. He was holding me by the shoulders, gently squeezing and closely watching my eyes.

He was saying something, but I couldn't hear him. I could feel my teeth sharpen, a growl rising from my throat, hands clenching and nails slowly growing into claws.

I wanted to find that disgusting piece of shit and rip his eyes out. I wanted to cut off his prick and feed it to him until he would choke to death—

Then Dick was holding my face with both hands, leaning closer until our noses were almost touching. I could hear him now, gently shushing me like a parent would to calm their crying baby. His familiar scent surrounded me, filling my senses, calming me. I relaxed a little. My anger was not directed at Dick. I knew I was safe with him.

Then he let go of me to search his pockets, quickly pulling out his phone and putting his earbuds in my ears. A few seconds later, the sounds of rain droned out the rising violence in my mind, making the back of my head tingle and the hot anger boiling in my chest die down until my physical transformation went away as well.

I sagged against Dick's chest, feeling tired all of a sudden. I waited a little longer, relinquishing the feel of relief and calm washing over me, while Dick wrapped his arms around me to stroke one hand over my back, the other holding me closer to his chest by my neck.

Eventually, I pulled the earbuds out and gave them back to him. I sighed, “I hate that I'm a ticking time bomb. You can't always be there to make sure I don't go off.”

“I don’t mind,” Dick said, helping me stand up. “That’s what family’s for, right? We got your back. With B’s device, there will always be someone there to help you out. If not, you can always call, no matter what time it is or where you are. If all else fails, you know what to do to help yourself.”

I let myself lean against him for a few moments longer, enjoying the comfort he brought, before straightening myself up with a sigh. “Thanks, Dick. I guess… let’s finish up here, huh?”

He grinned. “That’s the spirit!”

#batfam x reader #batfamily x reader #reader insert #x reader #dick grayson x reader #damian wayne x reader #jason todd x reader #its all kept platonic/familial #especially the relationship between damian and reader #i love when reader acts as a parental figure towards damian #its very sweet #monster reader #genderneutral reader

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smok3r7 · 3 months

Text

Is Leaving Even An Option?

Joel x F!reader

Explicit, 18+

Seven: Seventy-Five Percent

Main Masterlist & Series Masterlist - My Ao3

Summary: Your days have become one in the same, even with the terrifying reality of death right outside the walls of Jackson. You never thought you’d be in the situation you’ve been stuck in for seven years now, the daily abuse you endure has become an expectation. You take whatever your husband throws at you, literally and figuratively, because you’ve been trained to believe this is normal. But a new man, Joel, moves next door and happens to be friendly towards you, this causes your husband’s anger to worsen. Your mind starts a gruesome war with itself - can you leave him or do you stay until the inevitable happens?

Chapter Summary: You and Joel have the heart-to-heart that’s been needing to happen for months now. You’re finally able to go back to Jackson and face your traumas, with the positive reinforcement from Joel. However, you’re not safe when you get home and you quickly realize that you have to face the inevitable.

Word count: 6.2k

⚠️Warnings: NOT A HAPPY ENDING, Small description of rough sex (memories from husband), feelings of losing a child (reader and Joel), mentions of miscarriage, feeling guilty, gun use in DV, taunting, major character death, reader death

Here’s the finale babes🫡💓 - love y’all

—

“I just,” you start to explain as you pick at your cuticles to avoid looking at Joel’s reaction, “I don’t know, got scared ‘cause it all seemed too familiar, and that terrified me.”

“What was all too familiar?” Joel asks as he continues to massage your calves and feet that lay over his lap.

Your eyes move away from your fingers to gaze at Joel on the other side of the couch in the middle of the cabin's living room. You take in how soft and gentle he looks - his face slightly furrowed and yet still relaxed, his broad hairy chest rising and falling slowly, and the mesmerizing way his large hands press into your sore limbs has you melting.

“The whole thing-” you blurt out as lay your head back on the arm rest and cover your eyes with your hands, not knowing how else to say it, “the drinking, the sex that wasn’t really sex, the breakfast the next mornin- and the thing is, the first time with Nate was pretty much exactly like that. All the focus was on me and I didn’t do anything in return.”

You take a breath and it rattles your lungs, tears are welling underneath your palms that cover your heavy lids. The terrifying memories of Nate doing indescribable horrifying things to you start to flow back into your brain, like an avalanche - it’s all starting to snowball out of control.

But before you let it kill you from the inside out, you blow out a more steady breath than before, and finally you raise your upper body from the couch to look at him. You want to gaze into his eyes when you tell him why the last interaction was so triggering, you want him to fully grasp it.

“The next time we had sex, was just-“ your voice shook once again, as you crack each one of your knuckles. You’ve never talked about this before with Joel, but if you really want to have something with him, you’ve got to open up.

“So, so violent, there was no concern for me in the slightest. It was like I wasn’t even a person to him, just something for him to fuck. And that’s what I was for those seven years, an object.”

Joel’s silent, but you can feel the anger that’s seeping out of his tan skin. But yet, his hands give no indication that he’s raging on the inside, because they’re still comfortably massaging your legs and the balls of your feet. The silence that comes after has you feeling worried, so you try to quickly save it from going under anymore.

“So I’m sorry but, like, sex is really something I shouldn’t be doing. At least right now, because I clearly am not ready for that,” you laugh at yourself as you point your fingers at your face, stained with tears. You feel like you owe him an explanation, or an apology, about your feelings - it's just what you’re used to doing, you absolutely hate it.

“And I know I initiated, and I led you on but fell short on my end. And I’m having such a battle with wanting to apologize for it and not, because I know I don’t need to for anyone. However, you’re so kind and generous, I just- don’t want to hurt you and I feel like I owe you at least that-“

“Darlin’?”

“…Hmm,”

“You don’t have to explain yourself,” he takes a heavy breath as he softly picks up your feet from his lap, and he turns his body to sit facing you. His right foot stable on the hardwood floor, his left knee bent on the cushion as he drapes your relaxed legs on his thighs.

“I’m so- shit, sorry can't even begin to describe it, but please understand, the sex isn't even on my radar, sugar. I can go without it, I promise you that. But I feel so sick about what you’ve been through. You did not deserve any of that. How a person, let alone your husband, can do such things is just repulsive. I know there’s nothing I can do that will ever make you feel a hundred percent whole ever again. But I want to tell you, I will try my damn hardest to try. And I want you to know, none of what happened to you was your fault. Okay?”

Joel then brings both his hands to your cheeks as he gently cradles them. The warmth of his fingertips, his sincere eye contact, and his words causes you to break one more time. The waterfall of tears begin like they did earlier, but this time a range of wails escape your mouth. You’re absolutely incoherent, you sound like an injured animal screaming for help, howling almost.

Sshh, oh baby girl, come here, Joel murmurs as he wraps his muscular arms around your torso and pulls you into his lap. Your face burrows right into his neck, your arms wrap around the tops of his shoulders, and your knees hook around his hips, so he can’t escape from you. One of his arms stays tightly anchored around your waist and the other lays against your spine that leads to his hand holding the back of your neck.

The wails and sobs continue, muffled by his soft skin, and you get so caught up in the emotional rollercoaster that you’re not sure how long your two bodies stay together. It’s long enough for the bright sun to begin moving behind the autumn trees and for the white moon, along with the sparkling stars, to take over the beautiful sky. The light from the moon shines through the big front window to show you and Joel on the brown loveseat, fit together perfectly, like a puzzle - your favorite hobby.

Joel is nothing like Nate, not even close. Joel is a gentleman, he doesn’t want to hurt me in any way.

“Baby?” His voice cracks, like he’s trying to hide the fact that he's been crying also. A comforting silence had started about twenty minutes before he said anything, all he did the whole time was hold you and stroke your back with his calloused fingers.

Your throat is dry from the screams, the body heat from his bare chest pressed against yours, causing you to sweat, and your body just aches from the exhaustion of crying. Usually, this combination stems from a negative experience, and you know it all too well and hate it. However, this time it’s for a different reason. You aren’t in fear for your life, you just finally opened up to Joel.

That is growth. That is the beginning of healing. The raw negative emotions that instinctively flow through you, are no more, they’ve evolved into something new. Something that tells you, I actually can move past this, I can live without fear, I can maybe even be happy.

Maybe running away did some good for you, but you can’t do that again. You have too many people who love and care for you now, you’re wanted. So, no more running away, you now have your safety net - Joel Miller.

You gently push your tired body off of his skin, when you can finally see this man’s face - for the first time is fucking decades, you finally feel valid and cared for. His eyes are bloodshot, tears and snot stain his skin and his beard, and his lips are red like he’s been biting them. Your nose sniffs and a soft smile creeps onto your face, which causes Joel to copy the same small smile.

“Joel, I love you.”

“I love you too, old lady.”

—

You and Joel end up staying that night and most of the next day at the little cabin. Just talking about what the two of you have been through, down to all the minute details of the situations and the emotional toll it took on either of you. You’ve done this with Joel before but, there’s now this new sense of vulnerability between him and you - almost like an understanding of it all, realizing you weren’t alone in some of the feelings you had.

Like losing daughters. You told him about how you stumbled upon Rosa, and it had been over five years since you’ve talked about her. Nate never let you, unless it was to learn your triggers so he could use them against you for later. As you remembered Rosa, your heart fluttered and then slightly ripped - you still blame yourself partially for how her life ended, even though there was nothing you couldn’ve done.

You then opened up about your miscarriage. The brutal emotional and physical damage that it caused you, the confusion that was going through your brain about Nate and what to do. For once, you didn’t feel embarrassed talking about your feelings or your brain battles.

Joel was finally able to express his hurt about his beautiful Sarah and not being able to keep her alive, about what Ellie went through with David and the Fireflies, and his own thoughts about them. He, too, blames himself for not being able to save Sarah, when no matter what he did, it wouldn’t change anything, the same with Ellie being assaulted and almost killed. All you could do was listen as he wept, because you two are so similar that you know that he knows, there’s nothing different he could’a done. It was just the way the dice rolled, and no matter what you said in that moment, he already knows it - but he just has a hard time accepting it, like you with Rosa.

When you guys lay down for the night in the master bedroom, you can hear him crying to himself as he has his back to you. Without saying anything, you roll over and drape your smaller arm around his thick torso, and wrap your top leg around his thigh.

As you tighten your hold, you nuzzle your nose into his wide shoulder blades just under the nape of his neck, covered by his now sweaty curls, and you deeply inhale. Joel has this distinct scent that you crave and love so deeply; Sweat, woodsy, subtle hints of men’s body wash, and a hint of sugar.

The soft sounds of Joel’s crying come to a slow stop, his breathing regulates and becomes one with yours, and one of his large hands covers the one of yours that’s splayed across his belly. No words are said, none are needed. The two of you are connected by your souls and bodies, you and him are made for each other.

You’re here for him, and he’s here for you, always.

—

The sight of the gigantic metal walls that surround Jackson causes you to freeze, and Dougie, sensing your fear, also stops as he breaks the tree line. Joel and his horse, Shimmer, are to the right of you, also stuck.

It took about two days for you guys to travel from the cabin back to Jackson, a group of about twenty raiders having shown up at the Motel 6. So to avoid them, you guys had to find a different route that kept you out of view from them - which you did with no problems.

“You ready, Sugar?” Joel’s southern accent rolls off his tongue like he still lives in Texas.

A second goes by before you tilt your head to him and murmur, yeah. Joel smiles as he softly whips the reigns on shimmer and begins to trot down the dirt path that curves down a small hill.

Yeah, I am ready, you think to yourself as a prideful smile naturally appears and you start behind Joel down the hill to the new beginning you see in your horizon.

—

When the two of you enter Jackson and the massive doors get shut behind you, the first thing that catches your eyes is that Ellie and the three sisters are all standing by the stable doors just about twenty feet in front of you. My girls, you whisper as you swing your leg over your saddle, you jump off of Dougie and sprint to the group of young girls.

Joel yells something to you but you don’t hear it, all your focus is on these girls - your daughters, basically. You need to hear their voices, to touch their soft hair, and to tell them just how sorry you are for abandoning them.

“Ellie, girls!” You shout, now only about ten feet away. The huddle of young teens spin their head around and their eyes widen as they watch you run towards them.

“Old Lady!” they all yell in unison as they start to head towards you, all of you meet in the middle and you reach for all of them. Ellie is the first one to reach you and she wraps her arms around your waist, almost knocking you over, as Jinny and Andrea fit on either side of Ellie and hold on to you. Chloe is the last one to reach you, but she opens her arms around the other three girls and leans in to touch any part of you she can to know that you’re really back.

Your hands sporadically move from one girl's head to the others, not wanting to miss one of them. The tears begin again as you tell them, oh my girls, I’m so so sorry, god. I love you gals so much, I will never leave you ever again. You can’t see any of their faces, all you see are the tops of their heads as they hold onto you, but you can hear and feel their cries. The small bodies below you slightly jump inconsistently as they cry and cry, your heart shatters at the sight of these girls being so broken about you leaving.

After a couple more apologies and tight squeezes, you clear your throat and tell them to look at your face. The sisters let go and take a step back as they wipe their tears away from their eyes, but Ellie doesn’t let go, so you let her stay wrapped around your tired body. You gaze at Chloe, then Jinny, then Andrea as you repeat, “I am so sorry. I love you all. I am okay, now please go get some dinner and I will see you all tonight for the movie, okay?”

“Yes, old lady,” Andrea sniffles with a soft curve to her lips.

“You better be at the movie, they’re playing Goodfella’s, your favorite,” Chloe teases as she points her finger in your direction.

“I’m really glad you’re home, don’t know what I would do without you,” Jinny admits as she rocks side to side.

A heat rises in your face and chest at the words of these teens, I’ll see y’all in a little bit, you tell them before they all blow a kiss at you, then turn around and head in the direction of the dining hall. But there’s still one young girl tied to your body - Ellie.

“Where do I even start?” You ask her as you set your lips in her pulled back hair and strongly wrap your arms around her shoulders. When she takes a deep breath your whole body moves with hers, you can tell she is struggling to bring together the right words - you know she’s angry, rightfully so.

“Please look at me.”

She doesn’t move, not even the tiniest bit.

“Please.”

Your voice is broken completely, this hurts more than seeing Joel this upset. Having Ellie hurt like this at the cause of your actions has you feeling sick about yourself, how could I do this to her? A second after, she hesitantly lifts her face from your chest, and she is a mess - full dark bags under her eyes, her sage green eyes bloodshot, and her cheeks look sunken in. Oh my god, your mind is so overloaded with emotions that you’re scared that this is too much at one time.

“Why did you leave me?”

The sound of her weak voice crushes your soul, because this was not your intention by any means. Instantly, you carefully set both hands on either of her cheeks and you scramble together the right words to her.

“I wasn’t leaving you baby, I just- I needed time away to think through my own feelings. This had absolutely nothing to do with you, please believe me. This was all for myself, because I hadn’t dealt with my own shit and running away was a way for me to take control when I felt like I had none, okay? I love you so much and I hate that I did this to you, I am sincerely sorry.”

Her beautiful green eyes stare back into yours, but there’s a glint of hope that returns in hers. She sniffles and nods her head that is still in your grasp, I love you too, she whispers as she bites her bottom lip to try to hide her tears. You pull her into your arms and give her a caring squeeze, and your lips give a gentle kiss into her chocolate hair.

“Okay,” you chuckle, “Now it’s your turn to go get some dinner.”

“Let me see Joel first, then I’ll go.”

“Sounds good.”

Your two bodies finally let go of one another, when she steps back you give a warm smile, which she mimics. You then watch her eyes as they gaze behind you, must be Joel. Your eyes follow her small figure as she walks past you, and when you turn your head Joel comes into your sight. He’s only about ten feet away from where you’re standing and he’s talking about something with Tommy who’s next to Vince.

A warm tingly feeling ignites in your belly as you watch Ellie run up to Joel and jump into his opened arms. He picks her up and spins her around once, then sets her back on her feet and kisses the top of her head as he holds her little body against his towering one.

I have the life I want, a man who loves me and a daughter who adores me. I can finally be happy. It finally clicks, you know you can trust Joel, he is not going to hurt you or put you in harm's way ever. You’re never going to run away again, you’re going to have to work through whatever the issue or trauma is because that is the only way you’ll be able to actually heal and move on.

You watch Joel pick his head up as he still holds Ellie in a tight grasp. I’m gonna go to the house, you mouth to him as you point your finger in the direction of the house you shared. He nods his head, I’ll be there soon, he mouths back to you with a smile. You reciprocate the smile and spin on your toes in the dirt as you head towards Main Street, to the beautiful navy home.

—

As you walk up the porch steps, the familiar creaking echoes through your ears, I’m home. Your hand goes to the knob and turns it, click. You push the door open, walk in, and push the door closed with your butt, then lift your head to look around the familiar living room. Your blood runs cold, your body is frozen on the large oak door behind you.

No, no, no.

“Hi there Mrs. Rossi, or should I call you Mrs. Miller? I can’t keep up.” Nate’s voice echoes through the empty house.

He’s sitting on the brown swivel chair that faces the front door, his elbows rest on his knees and your eyes dart to his hands. His gun, his black 9mm. The same one he’s threatened you with countless times before; in your bed while you were sleeping sometimes, in the shower, the kitchen, living room - and so many others, that you can't even remember them all.

Your throat swells, hands hang parallel to your thighs, your stomach twists and turns, your mouth becomes dry, and your eyes widen at the sight of him in your home - why is he here?

“Oh, don’t look so scared now, sweet thing, you should be excited to see your husband. I know I’m happy to see you, been gone way too long.”

His face lights up with the smile that you used to love so much, but now all it does is horrify you. It sends a punch right into your gut because you know that there is nothing but evil behind his smile. What do I do, what can I do?

“What are you doing here, Nate?” You barely spit out loud enough for him to hear.

“I told you,” he stands up and starts to slowly walk closer to you, “I miss my wife.” He’s now arm's length away from you, and his face has this malicious look to it. His baby blues now look black, his beard messy, his smile filled with mischief and lies, and what makes it all scarier, is the way his brows are furrowed just enough to cause concern.

“But it looks like she’s decided to be a whore!” He yells the last of his sentence, and before you can do anything, he pistol whips the right side of your head. Your body drops to the floor instantly, you can’t see straight, and your head is pounding behind your eyes.

You’re on your side in the fetal position, blood starting to drip into your eyes causing you to squint them closed to avoid any more pain. Why me, god, why me? You question over and over again in your head, while he stands over you and aims that black 9mm at your helpless body.

“I said it before, you were never going to leave me,” he taunts, “but your dumbass didn’t wanna listen, like usual.”

With your brain still bouncing against your skull, you somehow find the strength to wipe the dripping blood out of your eyes, and open them to look up to him. When you open your stinging eyes, you’re met with the barrel of the gun only inches away from your face. But you’re not scared, even though you should be. It’s a weird feeling, almost an acceptance thing. In the back of your mind, you somehow knew this was going to happen at some point - you just wish it wasn’t right now, when you’ve finally found the man that you actually love and who actually loves you. What a joke this is.

Still looking down the barrel of the gun, you slowly push your hands on the floor and sit yourself up against the door. Nate tracks your subtle movements with his baby blues and his hands. The gun never leaves the spot in front of your face. As you finally lift your eyes to meet him, you notice how angry he looks - this is a different type of rage than you’ve seen from him, it’s almost pouring out of his skin. But you don’t want to give him the satisfaction of seeing you scared anymore, you’re not going to let him have this power over you any longer.

How do I want to play this? You think as you watch his hands start to vibrate and his breathing start to become erratic, he’s gonna lose it soon. I should just play it up until Joel gets here, he should be here any minute. This confidence builds in your heart knowing that once Joel see’s Nate in his house and you on the floor - shit, Nate is done for.

With your head still shaken up from the blow and the adrenaline rushing through your blood, you’re not thinking quite a hundred percent. You start to laugh, like a delirious kind of laugh - which is a dumb move considering you have a gun aimed at your face by your abusive husband.

“Sweetie, you really think that’s a good idea?” He chuckles softly as he brings his free hand to wrap around the bottom of the 9mm.

“I ju-just find it funny that-“ you take a second to wipe the stream of blood that is running down your face, “you feel the need to come bother me almost two years later. Like you really couldn’t find any other pussy out there? Women must not like you, I wonder why that is?” You laugh as you raise your pointer finger, then suddenly drop it with a smug smile.

His impotence was something that hit a nerve in him every single time, and you know that, but you really don’t care anymore. You just want to make him feel every ounce of pain that he’s inflicted onto you, even though that’s simply impossible.

“You cunt!”’ He yells as he lowers the aim and shoots into your left thigh. Fuck you, you scream at the top of your lungs as your hands fly to the burning hole in your leg. The pain is indescribable, the amount of blood that seeps through your fingers has you terrified.

Your face shoots up to look at him, the gun still aimed at you and he has this smug ass smirk on his lips, “Didn’t think I was gonna do it, did ya?”

“Just go-goes to show-“ you grit through your teeth and the pain, “how much o-of a coward, you actually are.” You’re breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth to try to relieve some of the panic that’s running through you.

He tauntingly laughs at your words as he squats down only a couple feet away from you and whispers, “Who’s the one who’s shot dear? Not me,” he says, then slowly stands back up and looks at your stunned face.

Okay, well. This is it. This is the end. I’ve lived a pretty okay life, all things considered. I’m gonna miss you Ellie a fuckton. You’re so beautiful and smart, I really hope you put your brain to really good use young lady. Please take care of yourself, once I’m gone, you’ll have to figure some things out on your own. You’re like a daughter to me, and I’m blessed to be able to call you a loved one - and please, keep an eye on Joel. This is going to crush him, just please make sure he doesn’t go running away like I did. Thank you for giving me a chance, baby girl, love you so much.

“Any last words, Mrs. Rossi?” The tip of the gun is now directly on the center of your chest, you squint your eyes shut and wince as the cold metal presses against your warm skin. The fear is starting to set in your bones, I’m fucked, there’s nothing that can stop him right now. He’s already shot you in the leg, what makes you think that he’s gonna stop with that?

Your leg is in excruciating pain, the burning has stopped but a new kind of stinging sensation shoots through your whole leg, and the blood is still just flowing out from under your hands.

Joel, my love. Thank you for showing me what love and admiration really mean. You saw me as a broken soul and thought I was worth the time to put back together. I really can’t express how grateful I am for that, you built me back to my old self, and I love you so much for it all. I’m sorry that I left for so long, we could’ve built a life together but now, that change is going to be taken from us. Please don’t dwell on me for too long baby, you gotta stay strong for Ellie and yourself. Just know that I will be by your side forever, even in the after life.

After a second, you open your eyes to see that he has brought his face down parallel to yours. If you weren’t injured by the pistol whip and the bullet, you would surely be able to snag the gun out of his hands and aim it back at him. But you can’t, you’ve completely lost, all you have left are your words - fuck it, why not?

“Yeah,” you smirk as you stare into his light blue eyes that are now all pupils, “Joel’s gonna fuckin kill you.”

“Well, too bad he won’t be able to save you.”

Nate laughs as he watches the way your face winces from the bullet in your leg and from the pistol on your skin. It’s almost like this whole thing turns him on, which you’ve never really thought about before but now it all makes sense. He gets off on this shit, seeing me in pain that’s caused by him. God, he is sick.

“Fuck you, Nate,” you breathe out, “just, fuck you for ruining me as a person. You are a rotten piece of shit, a complete waste of a person. Go choke on a dick.”

“Not a bad choice of last words honey, gotta hand it to ya. But I miss when you would just shut the fuck up.”

Just before he pulls the trigger, a piece of your old survival skills kick into overdrive. You quickly lean to the left, away from your heart. But the piercing feeling of being shot hits the skin between your shoulder and chest, much better than the center of your chest.

“Shit-“ you scream as your body thuds to the floor once again, but this time the pain is ten times worse than the one in your thigh. The burning, the blood, the tears, all so much stronger than the other.

Your brain is scrambling on what to do, you should get up and fight - you can’t, all you can do is moan and cry at how much pain you’re in. Your hands leave your wounded thigh, which you feel gush with blood as you relieve the pressure, and they move to the bullet wound on your chest. The warm blood spreads all over your chest and onto the floor below you, from the amount of blood you can only think that he hit a major artery, fuck.

“Good luck surviving that one, whore,” he then spits on your body as he turns to walk away.

Your vision is blurry, your brain is becoming foggy, your body feels nothing but pain from head to toe, all you want is Joel. Where the fuck is Joel? Then. like a genie granting your third wish, Joel appears and meets Nate in the doorway between the kitchen and the living room - at gunpoint, he must’ve come in through the backdoor.

“Joel,” you hoarsely whisper as you reach your hand out in his direction. Then without another second, you watch as Joel shoots Nate in the chest over and over, emptying the clip. Nate’s lifeless body falls flat on his back, onto the hardwood floor with a loud thud.

A sense of relief goes through your body, he’s finally gone, I’m finally safe. Your lungs give one last deep breath before it starts to hurt to breathe in and out.

“Oh darlin’, no, no, no, stay with me, please,” Joel cries as he runs over to your bloody body. Your eyes try to follow him but your head stays in the same position on the floor. Joel, you choke out as he carefully picks your body up bridal style, opens the front door, and sprints into the street screaming for help.

“Help me, anyone! Please, she’s been shot! I need help!”

Your body doesn’t hurt anymore, well, you can’t feel anything anymore. All you can do is gaze your eyes up into Joel’s face, tears streaming down his face and pure panic in his voice. You’re gonna be okay, baby girl, I got you, please stay with me, you’re so strong, baby. He’s repeating to you over and over as he follows the people who are telling him where to take you.

All you can do is just try to stay awake, but with the amount of blood you’ve lost, it’s becoming almost impossible. You want to hug and kiss Joel, but your body can’t grab ahold of the energy you need to do so. You want to tell him you love him, that you can’t thank him enough for saving you, that you’re sorry for leaving him for so long and you would take that back in a heartbeat.

But the last thing you see and remember, is Joel and the amount of anguish he’s in as he tries to save your life.

—

The first time I saw her, I was hooked. She was absolutely beautiful, and the way she spoke with such confidence even though she was going through some of the worst things. It blew my mind how strong she was, she wouldn’t talk about anything until me or Ellie would have to pull it out of her.

The two years that she lived with us was just pure bliss. The community was telling me how much she had changed in the small amount of time she moved in with us. But I don’t want to take any of that credit, that was all her, she did that, not me n’ not Ellie.

I wish that she knew she didn’t have to run away when she did. The community alone would’ve helped her, and it’s so fucked that once she got back here to Jackson n’ finally understood her worth, her life was ripped away from her. She was finally happy and ready to move on with her past, until a miserable person took her life, with no hesitation or care in the world - her so-called ‘husband’ ruined her whole future in minutes.

But today isn’t about him, it’s about her and only her. The light in so many people’s lives, for example; Working at the stables with Jinny, Andrea, and Chloe for over five years, she watched those girls grow up n’ taught them so much, they were all like daughters to her. Now I want to say to those three girls, I am so sorry I couldn’t save her, I wish I could have. All I ask is to just to always remember her in the positive memories and please don’t hesitate to reach out if you wanna talk. I love you girls dearly.

Ellie - I-I’m, I’m so so sorry. She was like a mom to you, the two of you were so much alike it was kinda scary. But it was also the sweetest thing to watch, ‘cause you were able to be a kid again and she was able to enjoy herself again. She always talked so highly of you, man Ellie yo-you made her so proud with how much you grew here in such a short period. So please just know, she is looking down at you in pure awe and love, you were her rock, love you entirely Ellie.

Now, I want to share a conversation she n’ I had early on. It’s not word-for-word but it went something like this; she told me how she used to help women and children get out of domestic violence situations for her job n’ I really commended her for that because that can not be an easy job. But she told me this insane statistic at the time, it actually broke my heart. She had told me that seventy-three percent of women in domestic violence get killed by their abusers or are severely injured.

Let that sink in - seventy-three fuckin’ percent, and look at how fast even she became a part of that statistic. I’m sure that number has increased since the apocalypse, and it’s disturbing that it's so high. We need to do better, plain n’ simple, for anyone who is in a similar situation please, don’t hesitate to ask for help because there are plenty of people who will help you out.

Please, don’t end up in the same situation as she did.

I’m gonna end this with one last thought. My darlin’, there are no words to describe how sorry I am for not being able to get there fast enough. You had so much more to give to the world, just know we will forever remember you and keep your spirit alive.

I love you, my ol’ lady.

Tags: @evyiione @oscarissac2099 @southernbe @pedrosfanny @orcasoul

#joel miller x reader #joel miller #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x you #joel miller fanfic #joel miller series #Is Leaving Even An Option #dark story #read warnings before reading

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bedtimegiraffe · 3 months

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Aerin Diamond Scene Rewrite Fic

Very glad Kade pushes your character on their trauma from being kidnapped. However, I would love for a LI to comfort your character about the fact that they keep almost dying. (Shoutout to Imtura for briefly comforting MC about the upcoming life-or-death battle, but I want more.) Relationships are a 2-way street! So here’s a little rewrite of the beginning of Aerin’s pre-battle diamond scene. Enjoy!

To accompany this, I recommend the slow and sweet “You Matter to Me” from the musical Waitress. “Come out of hiding, I'm right here beside you. And I'll stay there as long as you'll let me.”

(I don't think there are any warnings to be given other than discussion of possible death.)

It takes some looking, but you eventually find Aerin in a room on one of the ships, pacing with such focus that he doesn’t notice you as you enter. It’s kind of cute how intensely he’s thinking. You speak up, hoping you don’t startle him too badly. “How did you end up here of all places?”

Aerin’s head suddenly turns in your direction, eyes wide. “Oh! I… I wasn’t expecting you.” His surprised expression disappears almost at once, replaced by one of relief. “Imtura offered me this cabin, as a matter of fact.”

“Really?”

“I thought she was going to punch me. But she said that if I was brave enough to come back, I deserved a good place to sleep.” Aerin grins at you sarcastically. “I suppose tripping is a form of affection.”

His brief smile fades as he waves you into the cabin, then resumes his pacing.

You bite the inside of your lip. He looks so nervous. You can hardly blame him for that. “Are you having second thoughts about coming back? Because you… you don’t have to stay.”

Aerin stops moving, turning to give you a searching look. “You would let me leave so easily, then? Even on the eve of battle?”

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to see you again. Happy you’re here to help. But… things have been exceptionally dangerous since you left. I-” You take a shaky breath in. “I almost died. More than once. In those moments, I really wanted to see you again. But at the same time, I was relieved you were somewhere safer. And now that you’re here, I’m worried you’ll…” The thought hurts to even acknowledge.

Aerin’s eyes tighten with concern, though he covers it passably well. “Telling me you’ve been in incredible danger is hardly the way to get me to leave. And I did not come all this way to back out now.”

You suddenly feel desperate as the fear you’ve struggled to keep at bay forces itself to the front of your mind. “…Aren’t you scared?”

Aerin looks at you for a long moment, his gaze soft. “I’m not. Honestly, I expected to be frightened out of my wits. But for the first time, I actually feel prepared for battle. I trained all throughout my youth, but I never had a good cause to put it to. Just…” He frowns, looking toward the floor. “Baldur’s hunting misadventures. And then my misadventures.”

“That doesn’t mean you can’t…” You close your eyes, trying to collect your thoughts. When you open them, Aerin is right in front of you. Close enough to touch. “Nia died last time. The Blade brought her back, but it was an absolute miracle. I don’t know that we’ll get another one of those. I never used to worry about any of us like this, but we keep getting so close to everything just being over and I can’t…” You choke back a sob. As you struggle vainly to hold back a flood of tears, Aerin hesitantly puts his arms around you, slowly pulling you into a warm embrace. You cling to him tightly as you cry, like he’s the only real thing in the world. Your next words come out in a frantic rush. “I can’t lose you again. Any of you. I can’t be all alone again.”

Aerin doesn’t respond for a moment, just cradling your shaky frame and unconsciously running his thumb in a soothing path along your back. “I wish I could tell you what will happen tomorrow. But I don’t know. There is a possibility this will be our last night alive.” It’s a terrible thing to hear, but… a relief for someone else to finally acknowledge it. “But you won’t be alone. All of your incredibly capable and persistent friends will be with you. I will be with you. For as long as you’ll have me.”

It does help to be reminded that you’re not in this alone. None of you are.

You focus on breathing deeply until you’re calm enough to pull back and look at Aerin again. “How are you so relaxed about the fact that we could all die tomorrow?”

His face melts into a smile, fond and affectionate. “Because I’m fighting for our city and our people. For you.” He brings a hand to cup your cheek, forcing you to meet his suddenly serious gaze. “I’m not going anywhere.”

You smile at that, wiping the last of the tears from your eyes. “Thank you. For being honest with me about…” You take a deep breath. “What might happen tomorrow. And for standing by me.”

“Always.” Aerin gazes deeply into your eyes and, for just a moment, you forget that there exists a world outside this room. Then he blinks, a faint blush rising in his cheeks, and he pulls away. He gestures for you to take a seat on the edge of the bed.

Once you’re seated, Aerin sits next to you, close enough that your arms can’t help but brush. “I suppose I still owe you an explanation for running off the way I did…”

#And then the scene continues as you choose!#blades of light and shadow #choices bolas #blades of light and shadow 2 #aerin valleros #blades mc #aerin x mc #fanfic

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thotful-writing · 6 months

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Options

Graves makes a return appearance to finish your conversation from the last mission.

Phillip GravesXF! Reader

Continuation to Away and Return

Warnings: Blackmail, threats of violence/death

______________________

The time finally came for you to have that moment of peace and relaxation you needed. You turned the water on to the bathtub and grabbed a towel from the shelf while it filled up. As the water flowed you became lost in thought. Not only had you lied to Ghost, but you also lied to Price. The weight of it all was more than you thought it would be. It’s not like you were lying to keep something from them, it was to protect them, but it still felt so wrong.

“Oh, sorry. I didn’t know anyone- You’re back!” Soap exclaimed the second he realized it was you as he stood in the doorway.

He was quick to make it to you and you couldn’t help but smile when he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into a tight hug. He was always the more affectionate of the 141. You hugged him back until he squeezed a little too hard, making you wince as he pressed on the bruises.

“Fuck. Sorry.” He let you go instantly, “I heard what happened. You alright?” He asked.

You lifted the hem of your shirt to show him the bruises, knowing he’d ask just like Price did, “it’s not that bad.”

“Steamin’ Jesus, Pins. What the fuck happened out there?” Soap stepped around you to see the rest of the bruise around your back.

“I was ambushed.” You shrugged as you let your shirt fall back down.

“That don’t sound like you. You’re always so goddamn careful.” He said as he moved back in front of you.

“Well, I wasn’t this time and I paid for it. I’m sure Price and Ghost are planning my new training regimen as we speak so I can avoid it happening again.” You gave him a soft smile, but it quickly faded when you realized you’d added another name to the list of people you lied to.

“They don’t blame you. You know that, right? They just want to make sure you’re safe.” Soap said, trying to reassure you, but that wasn’t what was bothering you.

“I know. I just hate that I let them down.” You said, finally telling part of the truth at least.

“You didn’t let them down. That could’ve happened to any one of us out there.”

You looked up at him, biting the truth back, “what if I did though? What if I let them down? Do you think they’d hate me?”

Soap furrowed his brow and placed his hands on your shoulders, steadying you from shaking, which you hadn’t realized you were doing until that moment.

“What’s going on? Tell me.” Soap said as his eyes searched yours for any kind of hint.

“Nothing. I’m- I’m just tired. Forget I said anything.” You gave him another fake smile before you walked over to the tub to turn the water off.

Soap turned your face back around towards him with his hand beneath your chin, “You can always talk to me. Anytime, yeah?”

You nodded as you held back the tsunami of things you wanted to let burst through, but there was no way you could say any of it. Not without putting yourself, Ghost and Price at risk. Telling Soap would only put him in the same boat as you and that wasn’t something you could do to him.

Once he finally left you to your bath, you stripped out of your clothes. You hugged your body as you shivered and stepped over the rim into the water. As you slowly sank down and let the warmth envelope you, all you could think about was what would happen if you told them everything. They’d probably be pissed you withheld it for that long and that you didn’t tell Graves to go fuck himself. It seemed like a lose-lose situation.

The next morning you woke up feeling like you’d been hit by a tank. Your body ached and every movement was a struggle. When you managed to get yourself up and dressed, you made your way to the mess hall for coffee, hoping it would help.

“Pins.” Price barked from the other end of the corridor just as you stepped out of your room, “my office.”

“Sir-“

“It wasn’t a request.” He said sternly before heading back into his office.

You let out a heavy sigh and made your way down the hall. You wondered what he wanted with you. It wasn’t like you’d done anything wrong since you’d seen him the night before, at least not that you could remember.

“Sir, I’m-“ The second you stepped through his door and saw Graves standing there you froze.

Price closed the door to his office and strode around to his desk, “Graves wants to debrief with you since his men subdued the assailant.”

“I already told you what happened, sir. I don’t really want to go over it again.” You explained to Price, hoping he’d get the hint that you didn’t want to talk to him alone.

“It’ll only take a moment of your time. I just had a few questions about that laptop you found.” Graves said, never taking his eyes off of you for a second, “perhaps it would be easier if we did this somewhere more comfortable for you. Your quarters maybe?”

“No.” You blurted out quickly, “Here is fine.”

Graves smirked before he turned to Price, “this shouldn’t take long. Do you mind if we use your office?”

“Not at all.” Price shook his head before glancing at you, “I’ll be in the mess hall if you need me.”

You wanted to beg him not to go, but you couldn’t. So far Graves only knew about you and Ghost. If he knew about you and Price he’d probably have his job too. Price left the room without another glance in your direction or word spoken.

When the door closed, Graves was instantly on you. He grabbed you by your throat and his other hand grabbed the back of your hair roughly, making you look up at him.

“Have you kept our little secret?” He asked.

You nodded, “yes, sir. I didn’t say anything to anyone. I swear.”

“Good girl. Maybe you’re not as fucking useless as I thought.” His hand squeezed your throat a little tighter.

“What do you want with me?”

“Intel. Since we have a mutual interest here, you’re going to be my man on the inside so to speak.” Graves said with a grin, “my girl on the inside.”

Hearing him call you his, almost made you vomit in your mouth. It didn’t sit right with you.

“What if I refuse?”

“Do I really have to repeat what you already know?” He asked with a heavy sigh.

You shook your head, “no, sir.”

He let go of your throat but let his hand drift down the center of your chest, his eyes following along, “you’re so obedient and polite. I like that. I like that a lot actually.”

“Please-“ You tried to pull away, but he yanked your head back by your hair, making you yelp.

“What is it about that big oaf that makes you so submissive for him?” Graves asked, “does the mask do it for you or the blood on his hands?”

“Captain-“ Soap opened the door and stopped when he saw you in the compromising position with Graves, “oh, sorry. I was just…”

You had never been more relieved for Soap’s lack of forethought to knock on doors before opening them. Soap’s eyes met yours and confusion soon took over his expression as you tried to plead with your gaze for him to help you.

Graves released you and cleared his throat, “we’ll talk more about this later. I’ll find you.” As he passed by Soap he nodded, “Mactavish.”

“Commander.” Soap said.

Once he was out of the room and you two were alone, Soap instantly looked at you, “what the flying fuck was that about?”

You let out a shaky breath as you tried to keep from breaking, “it was nothing. He just- nothing. I should go.”

Soap stopped you with his hands on your shoulders, “woah, what’s going on? Talk to me.”

You looked up at him with tears in your eyes, “I would if I could, Johnny. I really would. But it’s better if you don’t know.”

“Let me help you.”

“I- I just can’t. I can’t do that to you. I’m sorry.” You weren’t sure what you were apologizing for, but it felt like you needed to.

You hurried out of the room with only one thing running through your mind, finding Price. Or maybe Ghost. Whichever you could find first. You couldn’t work for Graves in any capacity and if they ever found out you’d kept it from them, they’d probably never talk to you again. Which would gut you. So you had to tell them. There was no way around it.

You made it down to the end of the corridor and turned the corner to head towards the mess hall, but before you could make it very far, you were grabbed up and dragged out of the hallway. You opened your mouth to scream, but a hand clamped down over it, silencing you instantly. You fought and tried to break free, but another pair of hands grabbed your feet, subduing you more as you were carried into a room.

“On the floor.” Graves said, letting you know it was his doing and most likely his Shadow Company helping him.

You were all but tossed onto the hard floor and before you could get up, Graves was straddling your body with a gun pressed beneath your chin, making you freeze.

“Not one fucking sound or I’ll blow your head off right here.” He warned.

You kept your mouth shut and nodded your head as your heart felt like it was about to pound right out of your chest and onto the floor beside you.

“We didn’t get to finish our conversation before that idiot interrupted us.” He said, “as I was saying, you’re going to be my spy on the inside. I want to know everything Price is doing. Every move, every word he speaks. Who he speaks to. Even who he’s fucking. All of it.”

You didn’t dare say anything, but instead you shook your head to refuse him.

Graves pressed the gun harder beneath your chin, “what part of this gives you the idea that it’s fucking optional, recruit?”

You tried to move your head back to ease the pressure he was adding, but there was only so much you could do.

“You’re going to report everything you learn back to me and if you’re thinking about telling someone about this little arrangement, don’t forget all of the hell I can rain down on you and your asshole Lieutenant.” He threatened.

You glared at him with your lips pressed in a thin line, picturing all the ways you could rip his stupid looking face off of his fucking skull.

Graves moved the gun to the side of your head as he gripped your jaw with his freehand and leaned down, “you know, there could be a second option if you’re really hellbent on protecting Price.”

The way he was leaning closer and lowering his voice was a glaring indication of what he was implying.

“You might enjoy it.” He spoke close to your lips as you struggled to keep from headbutting him, “I know I would.”

When he closed the distance between your lips and his, you tried to resist it as much as you could, but his grip tightened on your jaw, forcing you to part your lips in an attempt to wince at the pain. All you could do was lay there and wait for him to finish when what you really wanted was to scream and rip his throat out with your teeth.

He slowly pulled away after a few seconds and sighed in appreciation, “Ghost has good taste. I’ll give him that.”

You fought back the tears that were threatening to fall as you avoided looking up at him.

Graves pushed himself up off of you but remained standing over you, “take some time and think about option two, alright?”

You nodded slightly, wishing you could tell him to fuck off.

“We’ll talk again soon.” Graves winked at you before he stepped away and left the room, followed by his men.

#call of duty #cod mwii #cod #cod mw2 #johnny soap mactavish #phillip graves #john price #simon ghost riley #simon riley #captain john price #task force 141 #mw2

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6rookie-writer0110 · 5 hours

Text

This is happening

Noah Morgan x Male Reader

Request - Could you do Noah Morgan x male!reader where y/n Lesister is William's son and Nick does not exist in this story. For this story, Noah is 18 years old, and y/n is 20. In this story, "My Fault" and Marvel's Spider-Man (insomniac) are set in the same universe. When y/n was 18, he went on a trip to New York, where his DNA was spliced with a spider. Basically, he has miguel o'hara powers, but he gets spider sense.

As a kid, you never knew who is your mother. You asked your father about her but he won't tell you, he would tell you to change the subject. You don't have a good relationship with your father, and you don't care anymore about trying to fix the relationship. He is cold toward you and he doesn't take the time to get to know you. You don’t like his wife Rafaella, she doesn't like you. But you do get along with Maggie your little step-sister, Rafaella barely pays attention to her own daughter and you hate that. Your father is rich but he or Rafaella don't buy medication for Maggie, but you do.

You get a text from your manager and you start to read it. He helps you get the big fights and a bigger pay, and you pay him.

Tyler- big fight tonight at 12 am. I signed you up

You- I will be there.

“Who are you texting?” Noah asked.

“You shouldn't be nosy,” You said.

She rolled her eyes at you.

“Same answer, when I ask you about the black eye?” Noah asked.

“Yes,” You said.

“You always come back with bruises, Y/N. And don't say you got mugged” Noah said.

“That’s why I said don't be nosy,” You said.

You grabbed your duffle bag and she started to follow you. Then Maggie runs up to you

“Can I come?” Maggie asked.

“Not today. How about tomorrow we go to the park?” You said.

“That’s fine” Maggie smiled.

“Watch her,” You said.

Noah watched you leave and you got in your car. Rafaella used to spend time with her daughters but that changed when they moved into the mansion. Noah called her friend to watch Maggie and the friend agreed. Noah gets an Uber and she tracks your location, she doesn't recognize the area. You have been acting strange and Noah wants to know why. She arrived at the location and kept looking, she found the location. She tried to figure out how to get in then she saw strangers go inside and pay to get in.

You are in the locker room, you are sitting on the bench. Then Peter walks in and you are surprised to see him.

“What are you doing here?” You asked.

“I came to see you fight. Ronnie got the biggest guy to fight you and make sure you are following the rules,” Peter said.

“I know, With great power comes great responsibility. Ronnie is always trying to make me lose to one of his fighters” You said.

“You got this, Y/N,” Peter said.

You were in New York City, on vacation. Unexpectedly you got bit by a spider while riding the train. The next night, you felt your body change then you got powers. You started to freak out and you didn't know who to call for help. You noticed that you got fangs and you freaked out even more. While in New York, you were on the roof trying to figure out your powers. Peter had on his suit and he noticed you, and he started to help you out. Slowly he became

Your mentor helped you get the name Crimson Spider. Only Peter knows that you have powers and you want to keep it like that. Peter doesn't like it when you do fight club matches. He knows that you're stubborn and won't stop. He always reminds you to hold back your powers or you will end up killing someone. He knows about your family history and you know about his.

“Thanks. But why are you really here?” You said.

He sits down next to you.

“Y/N, I’m getting old and I won't be Spiderman for long. But you won't get rid of me I’m still your mentor” Peter said.

“Damn, I thought I would get rid of you” You joked.

“Hahaha, so funny that made my stomach hurt,” Peter said.

You and Peter laughed. You leave the locker and head to the ring and Peter is standing with the crowd. The bell rang, and now you started to fight the huge guy. Noah is in shock that you are in the cage fighting. The guy punched you in the face and you fell, he was about to get on top to punch you again but you moved out of the way. You noticed Noah in the crowd then he pushed agsnit the cage. You start to punch him in the back but he doesn't back away. You wrapped your arms around his torso and used your super strength to pick him up, then you slammed him onto the mat. Everyone is in shock and he passes out, the referee picks up your wrist and you win. Ronnie is angry that he lost the bet and Noah is in shock about your strength.

You went to the locker room and you got paid. You quickly change your clothes and leave the locker room, you walk towards Noah and grab her arm.

“What are you doing here?” You asked.

“Why are you here fighting?” Noah asked.

“You shouldn't be here, let's go now!” You said angrily.

You dragged her out of the place then she pushed you.

“Y/N, why are you here tell me the truth,” Noah said.

“Fine. I fight to get money so I can pay for Maggie’s medication and that's the only reason. You know William doesn't care about anyone, he won't even buy her medication” You said.

She knows that you don't call him ‘dad’ and you call him by his first name.

“That explains the bruises and the black eye,” Noah said.

“Yeah. Let's go home” You said.

“We have to pick up Maggie at Maria’s house. I didn't know that you are strong, Y/N” Noah said.

“Now you know,” You said.

She is still impressed with what you did in the cage. You start to drive and she looks at you then looks away. Now, she starts to ask questions about the fight.

————

You walk by your father’s office and you hear him yelling over the phone. He has a gambling problem and you walked away. You leave the house and you meet up with Peter. You have on your new suit and Peter is teaching you how to swing faster, you are fast but you want to go faster. You and Peter are jumping off buildings and starting to swing faster. He tells you how to move your body.

“I almost had it,” You said.

You almost lost your grip but you quickly landed on the side of the building. Then Peter stands next to you but he is standing sideways.

“Show off,” You said.

“It‘s called skills. Now let's try again and don't be lazy,” Peter said.

“I’m not lazy,” You said.

“Let’s find out,” Peter said.

You and Peter start to swing again. Noah went shopping and you spotted her, you are standing on the top of a fire escape. A theif had a knife and wanted to steal Noah’s wallet. You jumped off the fire escape and used your web to get the knife. Then you double-kicked the theif towards the dumpster.

“Noah, are you okay?” You asked.

“Thanks. But how did you know my name?” Noah asked.

“I-I know everything,” You said.

You left and Noah is feeling speechless. A bit later, when Noah went home she rushed to your bedroom. Then she started to tell you how she met Crimson Spider and you pretended to be shocked, while she was talking you noticed how she put her hands on your forearm. But you didn't move your arm away, you just listened to her.

✫ ✯ ✫ ✯

Noah sees you spending time with Maggie, you two are playing in the pool. Maggie is having fun and you are making her laugh. She is checking you out, she developed feelings for you and she is trying hard to deny it. She isn't feeling happy with her boyfriend. She goes to the backyard and she sits on the chair, you and Maggie told her to get in the water but she said no.

William lost money in debt now Ronnie wants his money. William keeps avoiding him and Ronnie is feeling angry, he threatens William to pay or else. But William is stubborn and laughs and says he isn't scared. Ronnie knows now what to do and he ends the call, now William starts to drink.

You are alone in the locker room getting ready for a fight. Noah walked into the locker room and you are speechless.

“What are you doing?” You asked.

“I came to see you fight,” Noah said.

“Go home now,” You said.

“I want to see you fight again. I didn't tell my mom or William” Noah said.

“I know. But I don't want anyone to harass you. I thought you went on a date with Mario” You said.

“We broke up,” Noah said.

“Oh. Well, I never liked him” You said.

“Yeah, I know I see the way you look at him,” Noah said.

You and Noah are standing really close to each other. You feel her lips and she starts to kiss you then you start to kiss her back. She wraps her arms around you and you pull her closer.

“Y/N” Noah whispered.

“You kissed me first,” You said.

You kiss her back and she doesn't stop you. After the kiss, Noah stood in the crowd and watched you fight. She didn't know that you are a skilled fighter and she does cheer for you. You won the fight with a knockout and some people cheered for you.

You and Noah are in the parking lot. Again, you kiss her on the lips and she has her back against the brick wall. You start to kiss her neck and you raise her dress semi up and she lets out a small moan. Then she stares into your eyes and you touch her lip with your thumb. You and Noah go home and you go to check up on Maggie and she is still sleeping. Then you go to your bedroom and Noah is in her bedroom, she can't stop thinking about the kiss.

———

You and Noah are in the kitchen. She has her hand on your back then she grabs your shirt and she starts to kiss you. You wrap your arms around her and she starts to smile. William and Raffaella saw you and Noah kiss each other, they are angry.

“William, we have to do something about this fast” Raffaella said.

“I know. I will think of something, he won't embarrass me like this” William angrily said.

——-

Days Later… Ronnie gave one final chance for William to pay. But he didn't take the chance, Ronnie went to kidnap Noah and then sent him a picture of her tied up in a chair. Maggie told you that she heard William and Raffaella talk about Noah getting kidnapped and they couldn't call the cops. You promised her that you would make everything okay.

You went to your bedroom and started to put on the suit. You leave through the window and You go find Noah. You know where Ronnie usually hangs out and you rushed to his place.

“Boss, it's Crimson Spider,” He said.

“Kill him then kill the girl,” Ronnie said.

You start to dodge the bullets then you start to beat them up. Then you run towards Ronnie and you dodge the bullet, you kick the gun out of his hand. Then he grabbed the knife from his pocket and tried to stab you. But you grabbed his wrist and snapped it in half and he dropped the knife and he started to scream. You started to punch him in the face hard and he started to bleed out fast. You take out all your anger on him and you break his nose and jaw. You were close to killing him then you remember what Peter said about killing. You believe he doesn't deserve mercy then you pull up your mask up to your nose and grabbed his wrist and bite it, then venom enters his body. He starts to cough, you have paralytic venom fangs, and Ronnie slowly dies. You run towards Noah and you start to untie her and she isn't hurt. You take off your mask and she is stunned

“You… you are Crimson Spider!?” Noah yelled.

“Yeah, I will explain later. But are you okay? Did they hurt you?” You said.

“I’m fine, they just tied me to the chair. Do they know?” Noah said

“No one knows and you can't tell anyone,” You said.

“I promise I won't tell anyone,” Noah said.

She hugged you tight and you hugged her back. You left the building and the police arrived Noah didn't tell them your secret and they took her home. You start to swing back home

✫ ✯ ✫ ✯

William punched you in the face once you got home. You started to fight him but you did hold back your strength and you punched him in the stomach.

“What the hell!?” You yelled.

“We know about your dirty secret with Noah. I’m not going to let you two embarrass us like this!” William yelled.

“You are the embarrassment! You are not a man, you are a coward” You yelled.

“What secret?” Noah asked.

“We saw you and Y/N kiss each other. I’m disappointed in you, Noah, and this will end now” Raffaella said.

“I love him,” Noah said.

“This will end and I don't care how it ends!” William yelled.

You and Noah left the mansion with Maggie when William and Raffaella were in the home office talking. You lied to Maggie about having a fun trip to New York. You called your friend who is a pilot and he agreed to fly to New York. Hours later, William and Raffaella couldn't find you or Noah. William punched the wall and he is extremely angry.

In New York, you have an apartment in Soho that your father doesn't know. You bought take-out food and medicine for them.

“Since when did you get this place?” Noah asked.

“About two years ago. I live here alone and no one knows about this place, I have it under a fake name. Did you mean that you love me?” You said.

“Yeah, I did mean it Y/N,” Noah said.

“I have never been in love before,” You said.

“Me either. I’m scared” Noah said.

“I promise I will protect you and Maggie,” You said.

You hug her and gently rub her back. Later, when Noah and Maggie went to sleep you put on the suit, and you saved a few people around the city. You go back home and you change into your pajamas.

“I didn't mean to wake you up,” You said.

“You didn't. How did this happen? The powers and the suit” Noah said.

“It’s a long story,” You said.

“Tell me,” Noah said.

You start from the beginning of how everything started.

#Noah Morgan x male reader #Noah Morgan x reader #Noah Morgan imagine #x male reader #male!reader #male reader

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kalstar · 2 years

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How Ryuji would react if he found out his s/o hasn’t been feeling mentally great and has been skipping meals

Genre: comfort, fluff, fem!reader

Warnings: mentions of food, not eating properly

word count: 688

A/N: After way too long of not writing anything, I came out of my depression cave to bring u ryuji x reader. This one is pretty self-indulgent and wrote it out of desperation so sorry that it's not gn!reader :(( n e ways hope everyone's doing great, take care of yourself, and enjoy!!

Ryuji, though not the smartest, can easily notice if you’re acting a bit off, it’s you after all.

Ryuji would be the type to call you every once in a while to check up on you and just tell you about what he’s been up to.

During one of these calls, he’d ask, "Have you eaten anything yet?”

Not wanting to make him worry, you lied and say that you have.

But having that phantom thief 6th sense, he could tell that something was off.

“Babe are you okay? You sound kinda off.”

Fighting the tears that were already starting to pool in your eyes, you brush him off with a shaky voice.

It was late at night and the rain was pouring, all you wanted to do was to curl up in bed and cry yourself to sleep. So, you quickly ended the call.

Ryuji who knows you better than anyone at this point has figured out that something is up.

Just as you were getting settled into your bed, letting the sound of the rain hide your troubled sobs, you hear the sound of the doorbell filling your quiet apartment.

Quickly wiping your tears, you walk towards the door and open it.

To your surprise, it was Ryuji, completely drenched while holding a plastic bag.

“Yuji…? What are you doing he-”

Before you could finish your sentence, he wraps his arms around you engulfing you with the scent of grass and rain.

“I don’t know what’s wrong or what you’re going through and you don’t even have to tell me if you don’t want to. But I can’t stand the thought of my girl not taking care of herself properly.”

His grip on you starts to tighten, “Let me know if you ever need anything, no matter where you are, I’ll always be there for ya.”

With his kindness overwhelming you, you could feel the tears threatening to fall again.

“Yuji… you’re cold…”

“ACK SORRY!!” your soaking wet boyfriend quickly lets you go.

“I was getting you some ramen and all of a sudden it started pouring like crazy on the way here.”

“How did you even get here? Didn’t all the trains stop already? And I thought I told you I already ate.”

“Babe, you’re a terrible liar. And did you forget who you’re dating?? A little rain won’t stop this track team star runner.”

“I’m sorry for making you worry… And making you run around in the rain… and-”

Ryuji cups your face in his hands, though they’re damp, you could still feel his warmth spread throughout your cheeks.

“Stop it. You don’t gotta apologize for nothin, I did this cuz I wanted to and because I care about ya. So!! Enough talking and let’s get to eating!! After… I dry myself off… can I borrow a towel…”

Seeing how reckless and caring your boyfriend is, you couldn’t help but laugh.

“That’s more like it, I hate seeing you all gloomy.”

Once you get Ryuji dried off, you both sit at your dinner table to enjoy some nice warm ramen and hot chocolate.

Ryuji will try his best to convince you to eat, without trying to be too forceful since he knows it can be kinda sensitive for you.

If you’re still feeling hesitant about eating, he’ll even try feeding you. He’s not typically the romantic type and tends to lose his cool quickly around you, but he’s willing to try anything if it’s for your sake.

Since he’s used to taking care of the house when his mom is away, he’d make quick work of the dishes without making you lift a finger even if you insisted to help.

Since it was late, you offered to let him stay over.

As you both cuddled under your warm sheets, the sound of the rain and Ryuji’s steady breathing washed your worries away.

As you slowly fall asleep, Ryuji strokes your head and pulls you closer to his chest.

And as you mumble in your sleep a quiet “Thank you, Yuji” escapes your lips.

Ryuji smiles and kisses your forehead gently.

“Anything for you, princess.”

#persona 5 #persona 5 x reader #ryuji sakamoto #ryuji persona 5 #persona 5 ryuji #persona series #ryuji sakamoto persona 5 #ryuji sakamoto x reader #ryuji x reader #p5 ryuji #p5 #p5 skull #persona 5 skull #p5 x reader #phantom thieves #phantom thieves x reader

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twotangledsisters · 1 year

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In today's episode of I, used to make art for a living but then I got burnt out and forgot how to draw...

I decided to try and draw a scene from my fic (The Coronation) in the TTS style.

I blame everybody on this app who got me talking and thinking about Captain.

I mean, my biggest issues with this peace, other than my inability to do backgrounds, is that this is Cassandra's height in reference to Cap's, like I looked it up, but she looks like a child. And I tried messing with her eyes, with her face, with her hair, just to make her look not like a child... but she still looks like a child and I give up.

Anyway this, is from Chapter Eight, here:

Eugene laughed, seeing the captain waiting for Cassandra downstairs he pat her on the back. “Sure. But if anybody else questions your title, don’t hesitate to send them my way.” And he waved to the captain, who didn't wave back, as he headed towards the kitchen to help Rapunzel.

“Are you here to tell me how to stay out of trouble for the night?” Cassandra smiled mischievously up at the captain.

He smiled back fondly. “If I were to do that, you’d use them as instructions to get into trouble.”

She laughed. “Look at me.” She spun and the dress spun with her. “I’m playing my part for this event; I won’t mess up.”

“You look the part,” he acknowledged. “But I’ve seen Rapunzel ride horses in a dress, I am well aware you can get into trouble no matter the outfit. But it’s nothing like that.”

Cassandra nodded, walking towards the banquet room with the captain by her side. “Is it about the incident at lunch?”

He scowled. “No, thought you’ll be glad to know I have orders both from the king and queen to not let that man into the banquet hall.”

She nodded.

“No. I actually wanted to give you a gift. I was going to hand it to you tomorrow but... well, with the coronation you’ll have your hands full, I’m sure.”

“A gift? Why?”

“I don’t know, a coronation gift?” He shrugged. “It’s just, you’ve been doing a great job in training, put my guards to the test, your work with the law is impressive. I wanted to thank you and I wasn’t sure how until this morning.”

Cassandra frowned but then he handed her a small cloth with something wrapped inside it. She slowly moved the material away to reveal the dagger she’d taken an interest in that morning in the shop window. “Wow.”

“It’s about time you have a weapon of your own. I trust you to not stab anybody innocent. It’ll mean no matter where you are or what’s happening, you’ll never be fully defenseless.”

Cassandra’s finger touched the cold metal, it was sharp, certainly not decorative.

“That cloth is thick; I’d recommend you keep it around the blade if you plan to stash it in your clothes. I’d rather not lose my job by indirectly causing a princess to bleed out.”

Cassandra smiled. “It’s perfect. Thank you.”

He pat her shoulder. “You keep up the good work. It is an honor to serve you.”

Cassandra smiled as he left. She placed the dagger under the high thigh socks she never understood but now had a purpose, careful not to stab herself. Feeling confident as she entered the banquet hall.

Obviously, in this fic the relationship these two have is nothing like the show. But I do enjoy the mentor-student relationship and will probably end up doing a post over-analyzing it because that's pretty much what I do.

My mind will not shut up until the words exit through my fingertips onto the computer. At which point I will press publish even though I'm the only person who cares because honestly, why not?

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mitchywitchythings · 2 years

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Death Is Always Inevitable

Summary: Life is unfair. That’s what you’ve always known, so you fought back against it. Which leads you to where you are now, on a battlefield with people you’ve only known for a while. Will you be able to save everyone or will it all end in a massacre?

Warnings: Blood, Violence, Language, Gore, Angst, Death, and Timeline is messed up

Paring: Todoroki Shoto X Fem! Reader

Word Count: 10,898 Words

Chapter 2 : | Series Masterlist

How many years has it been since then? Since I've signed away my life and dedicated it to protecting humanity and fighting against the titans. It's a bit of a blurry memory, signing up for the cadets at only 12 years old because of the breach of Wall Maria. I had nowhere to go and I was all alone. I had no family and friends, they had all died either from debris thrown at them when the wall was kicked down or either eaten by the titans.

I remember the gruesome training that I received, but I did make some good friends there and for a while, I was truly happy, but of course, that was all before they were all slaughtered and eaten in front of me by the titans. The titans… I hate them, it's only natural as everyone else does. They took our homes, families, friends, and pride. I joined the survey corps to fight against the titans in hopes of taking revenge against them.

It was pointless of me to think of that. I realized that no matter what I sacrifice or how hard I work, they’ll just keep coming back to take more and more innocent lives. I could only watch as my friends kept on dying in front of my eyes in every fight against them, whilst I could only stare and fight other titans because I was also trying to save myself.

We were fighting to survive and to live another day. Day by day we began to lose our will and sanity. But when we finally discovered that there was a world beyond the walls, that there were other people outside, that we weren’t alone. I was happy… There was hope.

But then again we’d have to fight for it just like everything, we weren’t only fighting monsters now, we were turning into ones. Titans were also once human, but since they've turned and no way to reverse it unless you eat a titan shifter of course. I feel bad for the person trapped inside the titan of course. Knowing the truth about titans, knowing that they don’t understand what they’re doing, knowing that they're trapped in a nightmare.

Yet I still can't find it in my heart to forgive them. The hatred that grows in my heart towards them only keeps on growing with every human they mercilessly slaughter. But they're not the only ones who kill humans, we too do that as well, but of course, they were our enemies, and day by day, I was slowly beginning to lose the hope that I newly obtained.

That was all before, now everything's changed. I was given a mission by Commander Hange to infiltrate a high school. I was entrusted with this mission because only I could fulfill the spot. They needed a 15-year-old and being the only 15-year-old and youngest among the scouts, the job was already mine from the start. It’s a mission for a maniac if I’m being honest.

But I took it anyway as it's my duty. What's interesting about this mission was that the school I would infiltrate wasn't any regular school. No, it was a school for heroes. Children from the age of 15 who are gifted with great power called quirks enter here and for 3 years they train to become heroes. Heroes… I see them as a joke, there is no such thing as a hero. Not anymore at least.

"Ackerman! Don't fall behind." A man named Aizawa yelled at me from the front of the class.

Snapping out of my thoughts I quickly caught up with the group, "Yes sensei, I apologize!"

The class I was put in was class 1-A. I entered the school around 6 months after its opening. It was after the fall of their supposed number 1 hero, All Might. And because of that, it made everyone suspicious of me being a villain. I can tell that everyone doesn't fully trust me, especially Todoroki Shoto. I needed to earn all of their trust because that's the main point of my mission.

I'm currently wearing my old uniform minus the cape. We're walking towards this big hero agency that's located on the topmost floor of this tall building. The class around me conversed excitedly around me. I tried to join in with them, some politely let me while others looked at me with disgust as though I was a villain. In the end, I ended up having a one-sided conversation with the boy who distrust me the most, Todoroki. He looked at me with suspicious eyes as I conversed with him regarding the place we were going to.

"Isn't it exciting? I can't wait till we arrive at the agency." I smiled and talked excitedly

"Yeah…" He replied practically annoyed with my voice

He practically deemed I was a villain without any sort of proof. His eyes silently glared at me as I talked. I wanted to yell at him that I'm truly not a villain, but that would make a scene, which would lead to me becoming more suspicious of being a villain and the U.A. traitor. So I fucking suck it up and let him continue to silently glare and look at me in disgust.

He kept on making rude glances my way and I so wanted to slap him in the face for it. But then again if you were in his shoes then you’d understand why he was doing that. Almost everyone in school firmly believes that I’m a villain and that I deserve to be expelled. However, despite how everyone treated me, I needed to ignore those comments and rumors because the mission required it. That’s why when this mission is finally over I will smack everyone who comments on me, hard in the face without holding back or having any hesitation.

~~~

We hid in an abandoned warehouse for about 2 weeks since we first arrived here in Japan after getting information out from Yelena. She told us about how every nation that knew about titans and such were all afraid of the nations who had quirks.

They called those nations, Oddity, because of their quirks. All of the other nations hid from the Oddities because of how advanced their technology was compared to everyone and also if we were to attack them, the Oddities would have an advantage because a lot of their people have quirks and they could use those quirks to their advantage to defeat the titans.

But word reached Yelena that within a few months the Marleyans would begin their attacks on the Oddities because based on a recent experiment they did, quirks no longer have effects on titans and if they were it didn't have that great of an effect. There was no proof to back this up of course since it was a rumor. But at the moment all we had going for us was that rumor.

We had no hopes of defeating the Marleys who were already determined to defeat us. So we came up with a plan, we had no other choice but to somehow manage to form an alliance with the Oddities so that we could find a way to defeat the Marleys. This is where I come in, I was offered a big mission.

I was to gain the trust of the Oddities by enrolling in their topmost school and getting connections with the heroes there. And when the time comes, that the Marleys would attack the Oddities, starting with Japan, we would help Japan survive and defeat the titans. After that, we would form an alliance.

"Ackerman, do you fully understand your mission? Do you accept it? " Commander Hange asked me in our private meeting.

"I accept."

"Good. You'll be enrolled in U.A. High within a week. Leave the rest to us, for now, train with Levi to pass the entrance exam. I want you to get to the top. I know that's hard since you don't have a quirk but I'm sure you can use your Ackerman skills to help you." She said seriously as put both hands on the desk.

"Yes, Commander." I replied just as seriously as she was.

"Hey brat, your training begins now." I turned around only to see Captain Levi leaning on the door frame, his hands tucked in front of his chest.

"Levi! Right on time! Don't be too harsh on (Y/n) here." Hange quickly joined in as her old self.

I remembered how Captain put me on endless training to improve my combat skills, we also focused on mastering different sorts of weapons. I was somewhat glad that I could improve on my skills outside of killing titans but now I wasn't allowed to use the ODM gear anymore since I wouldn't be using it in U.A. which sucks a lot. I loved using the ODM because of the thrill it gives me every time I use it and now to have it taken away really does suck.

~~~

We now entered the building and headed towards the elevator, we would go up by batches and meet the pro hero who would teach us new lessons for hero stuff. I was included in the last batch of students. When we arrived at the top floor, I was amazed by the view I was met with. It overlooked the city and the weather was just perfect, the sunlight hit the city perfectly too. I ignored what the hero who was showing us around his agency had said and instead enjoyed the sight in front of me.

We were to spend the rest of the day learning the way a hero should run their agency, but I don't care about learning that. I wasn't Midoriya who would take notes of everything that could help you become a great hero. I'm me.

A while had passed and it was a miracle that the League of Villains hadn't popped out yet to terrorize us. I've met them a few times during my short stay here in class 1-A and believe me when I say this. It gets annoying how many times they try to attack us and then proceed to fall back because they lost.

It was now around 3:30 PM, 30 more minutes and we could go home. Well more like going back to the abandoned warehouse. We were now heading to the stairs that lead to the rooftop. The pro hero of this agency said that we could use the rest of the 30 minutes to watch the view of the city from the rooftop. I was in front of everyone and I was excited to see the view more than anyone else, who knew? Maybe this will be the last time I get to see a city like this. Little did I know, that was the truth.

I was mesmerized as I pushed the door open excitedly and a soft cold wind blew through me. Walking towards the edge of the building, I gripped tightly to the rails as I leaned forward to get a better view of the city. I could hear the bustling that went down on the streets below us as I felt the slight shiver of goosebumps run through my arms and the hair at my nape stood on its ends.

"Ackerman! Please don't lean on the railings you might fall!" Iida yelled at me, which I ignored.

"I know you're excited, Ackerman. But listen to your class representative." Aizawa-sensei came up from behind Iida.

"Alright, fine." I pouted and I let go of the railings and walked back towards the group gathered at the center.

We spent around 15 minutes conversing and enjoying the calm breeze blowing in the air. When Aizawa-sensei thought that since there was nothing for us to do, he could let us go home around 15 minutes earlier. So he made his way to the front of the class and began to make the announcement.

"Alright, class. Since there's nothing left for us to do. I-" Aizawa-sensei was cut off by the sudden sound of grappling hooks unsheathing themselves and wrapping themselves around the steel railings behind him. The loud 'clanking' and 'screeches' it left made everyone's ears cringe and hurt, but I was used to it so I guess it didn't bother me much. Immediately Aizawa-sensei turned around only to be stunned by the sight of more grappling hooks wrapping themselves around the railing.

"Prepare, they could be villains!" Aizawa-sensei yelled out to the whole class.

The only thing that ran through the class' mind except for (Y/n), was 'Is this another attack by the LOV?!'. Instead of thinking the same thing as everyone else is, I instead thought about what and why they are here. Everyone immediately prepared themselves for a fight that they thought was about to occur and before (Y/n) could say that those weren't villains. People with green cloaks and a strange device wrapped around their hips flew in the air only to land on the rooftop with the class. Aizawa-sensei was about to wrap his weird scarf around the one right in front of him, but then the supposed villain asked a question that shocked everyone.

"Is (Y/n) Ackerman here?" A woman with a black eye patch around her eye and was wearing glasses over it asked very calmly as though what she just did was an everyday thing for her, which was true.

All the while this was happening, (Y/n) who was at the back of the class started to panic and run towards the front, ending up shoving a lot of people off in her way the front. 'Shit! This is it, isn't it?!' I practically screamed in my mind in panic as my heart began to beat even faster than before as adrenaline was beginning to pump through my blood

"Commander! I'm here!" I yelled out as I shoved through everyone, not caring at the moment that I was being rude.

"Oi, bitch! Don't shove me or I'll shove your ass off of this building!" A very angry Bakugo was yelling at me as I shoved him, but I didn't care.

Saluting in respect for Commander Hange in front of everyone, "(Y/n) Ackerman, reporting!" I yelled as I finished saluting and put my hands on my back.

Everyone stared at me with confusion written on their faces. Hundreds of questions ran through their minds

"(Y/n), please give me a report of the class." Commander said seriously, which made me more nervous than before.

“Ackerman, I'm warning you! Step away from the villains now!" Aizawa-sensei yelled at me, his suspicions of me being a villain growing even further.

"As of now, nobody in class 1-A, or any class in U.A. High for that matter, including teachers, don't trust me enough. They all believe I am a villain sent by the League of Villains to infiltrate them from within."

"Ackerman! You're the U.A. traitor, aren't you?!" Aizawa-sensei's suspicions were rising through the roofs, he really didn't want to have a student who was a villain. No one would.

Aizawa-sensei was heard by them but ignored, which made him annoyed and so he took a fighting stance at his student. Prepared if he must use his quirk to stop Ackerman if she finally decides to reveal what quirk she has. He's rationalizing his thoughts and preparing multiple strategies in his head, but he can't pull out any moves until they move first. So he decides to motion to his students to just watch, listen, and prepare for a fight.

~~~

"Shit! We need to contact the pro hero running this agency for backup!" Todoroki whisper-yell to Midoriya who was right beside him.

"I know, but the villains are blocking the exit! They must have planned this in advance!" Midoriya replied to the dual-haired male.

"Deku-kun! My phone has no signal, I can't contact anyone!" Uraraka showed her phone to him

"It's probably because of how high we are, the signal can't reach us!" Midoriya replied to her

"What do we do now?!" Kaminari said out loud in exasperation, "C'mon! These villains really don't give us a break!"

"I'll make a radio to contact the heroes downstairs!" Yaoyorozou whispered

Everyone quickly huddled around her to cover up her using her quirk to contact the heroes below. But unbeknownst to them, the scouts had already surrounded the whole building and were busy having a battle. The scouts weren't trying to create a fight with the heroes, in fact, they were trying to warn them of the fact that enemies are heading their way here. But of course, they didn't believe them, because why would they?

They had nothing credible to back them up. All that the heroes could see were crazy maniac people, who claimed that creatures called titans were going to devour this city. However, things took a quick change when the heroes finally noticed that under their cloaks were in fact swords and missiles. The scouts below were winning the fight, only because they were moving more quickly and efficiently than the heroes with the help of their ODM gear.

Yaoyorozou, who had just finished making the radio, quickly tried to contact the heroes below them. Everyone surrounding her was creating distractions in order for her to contact the heroes by asking questions to the apparent villains.

"Hello? Is anyone there?" She called out

"Cr-Creati?! Is that-that… You?" A voice yelled out from the radio and in the background, they could hear a lot of yelling

"Yes, we're in desperate need of backup! Villains are surrounding us!" She yelled back to the radio that keeps on cutting

"You…! Own-! Fi-Fighting! Ca-n't help-p!" The voice yelled back before it finally became too distorted and no one could understand them until it fully stopped and static was the only thing that could be heard.

"We're on our own. We can't rely on the pros to help us out this time." She looked nervously at Jirou who was beside her.

"Don't worry, we'll get through this. We always do." Jirou whispered reassuringly to the girl beside her and kissed her on the lips.

~~~

"I see, (Y/n). Do you think that you could still convince them to evacuate the city?" Commander asked me

"I can." I replied a bit nervously

"Evacuate the city?! What is going on Ackerman?!" Aizawa-sensei was now really on edge.

"Is this it?" I questioned calmly but inside I was panicking.

"Unfortunately yes, we intercepted Reiner from the radio, saying that they are already heading here." Hange said

"How much time do we have left?" I asked

"We’re not sure, but we'd give an hour at most." Captain intervened

"I'll do my best then." I replied

"What the hell is going on?!" Bakugo being the attention seeker he was, yelled out

"Ackerman, are you a villain?!" Kirishima-kun looked at me in hopes that I'd say no.

"You're the U.A. traitor aren't you, Ackerman?!" Aizawa-sensei yelled out, making everyone's head turn at me.

'U.A. traitor?!' Everyone stared in disbelief at me. Although they had already predicted that I was. Ignoring everyone behind me and tuning all of their questions, I began to ask the commander for orders.

"We'll need you to contact the mayor of this city and convince him to evacuate it." Hange spoke

"Alright, I understand commander." I replied professionally

"One more thing, (Y/n). I need you to look out for this class and help then evacuate the civilians. There are ships at the pier, we'll use those to bring them back." Captain Levi said

"What?! With all due respect captain, but I could be more of use if I was in the field helping everyone fight instead of babysitting." I rationalized

"What the fuck do you mean by babysitting, you shitty idiot?! I don't need anybody looking out for me!" Bakugo screamed to which Kirishima had to hold him back to avoid Bakugo from starting a fight.

"It needs to be you. You're the one who's their classmate. They trust you the most so we need you to protect them and help them evacuate as many people as possible." Armin cut in

"Fine, I'll do it." I complied in a somewhat understanding but annoyed tone.

"Alright, then that's it. We just now need to convince the mayor to evacuate the civilians." Hange said as she looked behind me to look at my teacher.

Walking over to Aizawa, Hange smiled and offered a handshake to him, "You're Aizawa Shouta, right? Our (Y/n)'s adviser?"

He took a fighting stance in front of her and ignored her offering, "What do you want, villain?! Why do you want to evacuate this city?!"

"An enemy of ours is heading this way to destroy Japan, starting with this city. We're offering you a proposition, we'd like to help you escape and defeat the titans. In return, we form an alliance."

"Escape? Back then when you talked to Ackerman, you mentioned evacuating the civilians to the pier. We can evacuate the civilians to our evacuation centers all over this city. But I don't understand why you would want us to go to the pier to evacuate unless you want us to leave this city for good. And I'm saying this as though, we trust you, villain. We don't! So give it up and tell us what's going on!"

~~~

All the while when Hange was talking to Aizawa-sensei to try and explain to them the situation, Levi motioned me to go over to them. 'Shit, I don't have my gear with me. How would I fight without it? Maybe that's what the captain wants to talk to me about?' I thought.

"Captain, is this regarding my ODM gear?" I questioned

"Yeah, 4 eyes assigned Sasha and Connie to grab them back at the base since they forgot to grab it when we headed here." The captain spoke in a somewhat dead voice, but at the same time annoyed.

I nodded in reply, "Speak of the devil-" I began as both Sasha and Connie, who just arrived, were carrying a large suitcase.

Immediately dropping the suitcase on the hard concrete, it made a rather loud sound. "Sasha! Next time we're not taking a break to buy fries at Macdonald's!" Connie yelled at Sasha as he tried to grab a piece of fries from her to which she almost bit off his fingers in retaliation.

"Don't touch my fries!" She screamed at him as she began to shove more fries into her mouth.

Letting out a disappointed sigh, Connie began to speak, "Anyways (Y/n), here's your equipment." He groaned in annoyance as he stared at Sasha as she ate away her fries in peace after he gave up trying to grab a piece from her.

"Tch…" Levi started as he looked at them in both annoyance and disappointment, but now soon after he looked at me in expectation, "Hey brat, we don't have time. Put on your equipment right here and now." Captain said

I quickly replied with a hum and moved my way toward my equipment. Not wasting any more seconds, opening the chest and examining my ODM gear for any defects. Luckily there seemed to be none, so with a huge blush adorning my face. I took off my crop jacket, skirt, and boots. Putting on all of the leather straps around my body wasn't easy, especially when you needed it on right away. You needed to make sure it was put on properly and such because if not then you'll have a malfunction in the midst of battle and die.

It'd be such a pathetic way to die honestly and I'd rather die the most gruesome and horrible death than that. Putting it on in front of all my classmates was extremely embarrassing, but I didn't have time to be embarrassed. We needed to go now and help evacuate the civilians. After putting on the straps I quickly put on my skirt, jacket, and boots. Finally, I attached the ODM gear to it and on both of my arms I put on the thunder spears. Then Armin, who brought my wings of freedom cape, handed it to me. I stared at it for a second before smiling and reaching to take it from his hand.

"Thanks…" I mumbled out quietly enough for him to hear.

"Isn't that part of Ackerman's hero costume? Didn't she always wear it before Bakubro almost burnt it?" Kirishima said in curiosity

"Hah!" Bakubitch shouted in amusement at Kirishima, "How can you say it's a costume for a hero when she is so clearly a villain!" He smirks

"I've had enough of everyone's bullshit!" I yelled, making everyone pause and look at me in surprise, "You think of me as nothing but a villain!" Pausing for a moment, I turned my body to face them properly, "First off, I'm not your classmate!" Looking at my adviser, I continued, "I'm not your student." And finishing, "I'm not a villain either, nor am I a hero." Placing my right clenched fist on the left side of my chest with my other hand behind my back, giving them a salute, "I'm a soldier, a scout… and I dedicate my heart and I'll fight until the end."

"Soldier? What do you mean by that?! You're only 15. Well, unless you lied about your age." Todoroki stepped forward

"I didn't lie about my age, I started to train when I was 10, I graduated when I was 13 and since then, I have been a part of the scouts. We're here to save humanity and slay the titans."

"Save humanity?! What kind of bullshit is this?" Bakugo rudely cut in

"Titan are giant humanoid creatures that eat humans for sport." I responded

"What kind of idiot do you think we are?! Giant humanoid creatures, that eat humans for fun? Eat shit you, lying villain! I don't care if we were classmates, you're still a villain!" Bakugo yelled out

"God, you're giving me a headache with all those screaming." I said rubbing the temples on my forehead.

"I didn't even think you had a head, to begin with!" He smirked as he let out little sparks of explosions on both of his palms.

Rolling my eyes at him, I turned around and exposed my ODM gear to everyone. Everyone stared at me in amazement at the weapon I was holding 4 thunder spears on each arm. Taking out both of my swords on each arm just to get a feel.

"Are those swords, villain?!" Iida yelled at me in shock.

"Not giving into the thought that I'm not a villain, I see." I eyed him teasingly

Rolling my eyes, I walked toward my teacher. Their breaths hitched in their throats as they saw the expression I was making, I was dead serious. We need to move fast or the lives of thousands we'll be lost in less than a few hours.

Standing beside Commander Hange and in front of the pro hero, Eraserhead, I began to speak, "Look, we don't have much time. It may be hard to believe but, I need you to contact the mayor or hell! Even the commission! We just need to evacuate the civilians right now. We can't stay here! If you go hide in the evacuation centers here, it'll still be destroyed by the titans. No one is safe from them! The only chance of survival we have is to kill them! And we, the scouts, are the only ones most capable enough to kill them!" I yelled seriously in his face

"And how do we know that you're not the enemy! That you're not the ones who have these things you call, titans!" To my surprise, it wasn't sensei who replied, but instead the dual-haired boy.

"I have a simple answer for that!" He eyes me suspiciously, "I wouldn't even be here! I'd be attacking you right now with not a single hesitation! Why would I waste my time making things complicated and trying to gain your trust when I could just wipe out almost your entire population in a few hours. I’d surprise you! We could just attack you and be done with it!" Everyone who’s a part of U.A. was taken back by my words and any form of retaliation from before disappeared as they stayed silent, trying their best to decide whether or not they should trust us, "Give it up. We're not villains. We're just trying to help you."

Surprisingly enough it was Todoroki who stepped forward and spoke up first, "How do we know we can trust you?"

"You don't. I have no proof, whatsoever, to back up my words. I can only ask for your blind trust. But then again, do you have anything to lose?" A smirk suddenly formed on my face, silently telling everyone that I had a devious plan cooked up in my mind, "How about we form some sort of deal?"

"What kind of deal?" Aizawa questioned as he pushed Todoroki back into the crowd behind him.

Captain Levi glared at me and began to protest about making a deal with the Oddities, "Oi brat, don't go making deals without us discuss-"

Getting annoyed at his voice, I immediately cut him off rudely, "If we're wrong and our enemies are not headed here, you can arrest us! Or even execute us and we'll also provide you with whatever information you want."

Aizawa-sensei nodded in understanding, "But if our enemies are here. You'll form an alliance with us and we’ll help you evacuate and defeat the titans." I spoke bluntly with a hint of interest in my tone.

He paused and looked at his students for a moment before turning back to us, "Alright, we have a deal."

I looked at Captain Levi and gave him a proud smirk to which he just rolled his eyes and scoffed as he walked towards Commander Hange to discuss something which I assume to be regarding our small change in plans. I look back at Aizawa who’s having trouble contacting their mayor/commission because of the signal problem. I can see him yelling into the phone in exasperation. Walking over to Todoroki, who seems to be the only one who has come to his senses and somewhat put a little trust in me.

“Thank you for trusting me. Don’t worry I won’t betray you guys.” I started first

He gave me a sharp look making me bite my tongue in regret of telling him thanks, “Don’t think that I trust you for a second, Ackerman. I still don’t trust you, but I’ll follow along with whatever’s going on.”

“Whatever.” I rolled my eyes at him and looked behind him to the crowd that had their eyes looking at me intensely, “I suggest that you try to contact your family to prepare for the evacuation. We can’t save everyone. But of course, we’ll do our best as the survey scouts.”

“Are you still on that survey scouts stuff?” Sasha spoke out

“That’s what we are, aren’t we?” I questioned

“Yeah, it’s just a bit weird.” She said

“Ackerman, where will our families meet us up here?!” He yelled out as he held the phone away from his mouth so as for it not to pick up on what he was yelling.

“Can they move fast to meet us at the pier? We are going to have our hands full battling the titans and evacuating the citizens.”

“Alright, thank you!” He did a little bow which made me let out a little giggle.

‘A second ago you were calling me a villain and now you're telling me thank you. You guys are really weird.’ I thought

In less than a few seconds, loud chatters can be heard coming from the class. Everyone is trying to contact their loved ones in order to warn and evacuate them from the incoming attacks.

“Ackerman, alright other pro heroes are beginning the evacuation protocol. Now, what do you need?” Aizawa asked

“We need to leave and help with the evacuation immediately.” I said to which he nodded in understanding.

“Got it, then let’s move quickly.” He said, making his way to the stairs.

‘It’s weird he’s agreeing to this without much of a fight. He’s a bit ahead of himself though, it’s like he’s trying his best to get us out of this building as soon as possible.’ I thought to myself curiously, “No that’s not it. He’s a hero, he just probably wants us to move and act as efficiently as we can.’

“Wait!” I said to make everyone stop and I walked over to Mikasa to get the signal flares from her, also receiving the bag full of the different colored ammos. “Thanks, Mikasa.” She nodded in my direction, “Alright so I need to explain the use of the flares before we go.” I looked at the Commander for permission to explain to them.

“Go ahead, (Y/n)!” She said

“(Y/n), fire the signal.” Captain Levi said to me to which I nodded.

Loading the signal flare with the green flare ammo and putting my left hand over my left ear as I raised my right hand, holding the signal flare and pointing it straight to the air. Pressing my right ear to my arm in order to protect it. Everyone got the message to do the same, quickly following behind me in order to protect their eardrums from damage.

Scanning over my fellow classmates in order to make sure they were covering their ears, I rolled my eyes at them. Firing the signal flare, a green gas that was somewhat like a cloud of smoke was left behind as it shot into the air. Signaling that the mission of convincing the Oddities to evacuate the citizens was a success and the evacuation plans that we had set up beforehand were a go, that we were to proceed to the next missions.

I dropped both of my hands down and I heard a slight ringing in my ear. I looked at the signal flare in my right hand, a bit of green smoke that was left from the fire was still evident on it as it was still steaming out from the device. Raising the device to let my apparent classmates and teacher, to let them look at it in curiosity.

“We use these signal flares to signal and communicate to others. We use color codings to make it easier.”

“Yeah! And what the hell are the colors?” Bakugo yelled at me.

“Well, how are you gonna know if you won’t let me explain?!” I yelled out angrily

“Then please explain it, Ackerman.” Midoriya started trying to defuse the situation

“Red is used for when you spot a titan. Black is for abnormal titans. Purple is an emergency of some kind. (Someone is grabbed, etc.) Blue is used in order to retreat. Green is for mission success and change direction of the formation: Fired by the commander in one direction to indicate a change in the direction, and then repeated by the relay soldiers. And lastly, yellow lets everyone know that the mission has been terminated, be it successfully or failed.” I explained quickly

“Damn that’s too much information to process in one setting.” Kaminari-kun said in exasperation.

“Not really, only for your brain cuz, you fry it too much!” Jirou, who stood next to him with Yozyorozou’s hand wrapped around hers, snickered.

“I expect you all to memorize it. Not only will your lives depend on it, but others as well. So memorize it by heart.” I said seriously

“Alright, with that being said then we’ll get going, (Y/n).” Armin, who I didn’t know was standing beside me, suddenly appeared, which startled me a bit, “Sorry, didn’t mean it.” He put his hand on my shoulder in order to calm me down, it worked and I gave him a genuine smile.

“Thanks, and it’s alright.” I continued smiling

“If you say so, well then we’ll be leaving now then.” He said and immediately shot out the grappling hook from his ODM gear, into the building in front of us to quickly follow behind the others who left him and were ahead of him.

“We’ll follow behind them, we need to evacuate the citizens now. There’s no time.”

Not caring to listen to anyone’s complaints or protest about jumping off the building. I quickly ran. I stood upon the railings and turned to face everyone before I leaned most of my body weight towards my back. I lost my footing and began to fall. The thrill of falling and the cold air that ran through me were exhilarating.

Everyone ran to the edge of the building, leaning on the railing, they eagerly and curiously looked at me falling. So as I looked at the building where class 1-A and their teacher stood, I let the grappling hooks at both of my sides unsheath themselves to shoot out and stick themselves into another building close by.

Doing a single backflip in the air before landing safely with this sort of cool position. I might have been showing off I'll admit but I wanted my class not to look down on me. Since they look down on me because I haven't shown my quirk. It’s not like I did have a quirk. Using my hands to motion for them to follow my lead and come down the building they stared at me with wide eyes. Nevertheless, they followed through.

Using their quirks to safely go down the building, I watch them in amazement. ‘Quirks seriously are really unique and cool…’ I thought to myself in astonishment. Since I’m now down, I looked at the building where I was just in. Looks like the plan to convince the pro heroes in this agency was a complete fail.

The building’s windows were broken and the lights inside were flickering on and off. I could smell the disgusting scent of metallic, there was a lot of blood splattered. A fight broke out, no one was there anymore. But there doesn’t seem to be anyone dead though at least. They might have escaped and brought the heroes with them. We’ll no matter what happens the plan must continue.

If anything happens we’ll just have to find a way to solve it somehow, no matter the sacrifice. ‘Shit! Why did I just realize it now?! There are no people in the street! It’s just fucking empty! There’s no sign of life and there are no blood trails! Which only either means one thing, they betrayed us!’ My eyes widened in realization. Unsheathing both of my swords, I took a fighting stance. Class 1-A along with their teacher came down from the building and surrounded me. Like a pack of hungry wolves circling their helpless prey.

“You're backing up on our deal aren’t you?! This is a trap isn’t it!” I screamed angrily at Aizawa

“Yes, did you really think we’d trust you?! now you're going to rot in prison!” Aizawa yelled at me

Suddenly police and pro heroes came out, pointing their guns and activating their quirks at me. ‘Shit! What am I going to do?! I can’t escape with this many people surrounding me! And even if I do escape, what’s next? The plan failed!’ I screamed in my head and gritted my teeth in anger. Then a rationalized thought ran through my head.

Glaring at all of them, I began to scream, “No matter what happens, the plan will continue! No matter what we have to sacrifice or what we have to do!” I screamed at them, charging at them with both swords in my hands.

Running to the first person in front of me to charge stupidly at them, which just so happens to be Todoroki. I jumped high in the air and pointed my swords at them. Perhaps I could use him as a hostage? His father’s the number 1 hero, isn’t he? It meant he has a high value.

Perhaps I could use that to my advantage. I could see that ice was beginning to form under the dual-haired boy’s right foot. I could also see that the other students were also charging at me using their quirks, but the fastest to move among those students were Midoriya, Bakugo, Todoroki, and Iida.

It was like they were next to me in less than a second. I could see the guns from the police around me being loaded, but before we could hear the triggers being pulled and the ammos being released a deafening roar was heard. A titan’s roar to be specific. It was the beast titan’s roar I recognized, it was Zeke.

All of a sudden all the police surrounding us and pro heroes as well were glowing. It was like everything was in slow motion, I lifted my head to get a glimpse of what was going on. Everyone’s eyes followed as well. We stopped charging at each other and they looked in horror at what was going on. While I moved quickly to kill them before they fully turned.

~~~

“Captain? What if they turn the citizens into titans? We’ll have a hard time controlling the situation if that happens.” My breath hitched as I barely missed the knife that almost cut my throat.

“We’ll just have to hope that doesn’t happen. If it does happen then we’ll just have to do our best to kill them. We’ll also use the signal flares to alarm the others from where the titans are already. We’ll need to know how deep the enemies have already penetrated the city. And also, if the civilians are as good as dead, we won't help them anymore. Got it? We can’t be carrying around dead weight this time.” He managed to pin me to the floor with the knife pressing onto my neck, making crimson red drip down from it and stain my white shirt.

And with a huff, I kicked his balls and used his moment in pain to grab the knife from him, “I get it.”

“We can’t save them all, so we’ll just salvage what we can.” Commander Hange said from the sidelines

“How many lives are we expecting to save and lose?” I questioned nervously

None of them replied.

Getting pissed and anxious because they didn’t reply I angrily managed to pin down Captain Levi for the first time after weeks of constant combating with him, “I said how many?!”

“Our best would be 5,000 but we doubt that, we think we’d only be able to evacuate 1,000 and that doesn’t guarantee that they're not injured or in a near-death situation.” Hange said uncomfortably

Getting off Captain quickly, I looked at them in shock. Musutafu’s population is nearly 2 million people. And yet we can only guarantee that we can only have around 1,000 people?! Shit… I knew there’d be a lot of deaths, but I didn’t expect a fucking massacre. It’s going to be the same as back then. Damnit! I’ve trained so hard to fight back for humanity, but this is the best I can do!

“I’ll continue training on my own for today, Captain. If that’s alright with you, of course?” He replied with an irritated nod, “We’ll continue this tomorrow.” I finished, giving him a very dejected look.

“Go and train hard, brat. I also want you to clean the kitchen before you continue training. Sasha snuck in there last night and made a big mess.” He casually took a sip of tea which Hange carefully handed to him.

Staring at him in disbelief, “What?! No way am I cleaning that! Sasha should clean it herself!”

“It's part of your training.” He took another sip

“Fine.” I grumbled out annoyingly as I headed towards the kitchen with a broom in one hand and a mop in the other.

“Oh and tomorrow, I’m doubling your training.” He gave me an amused smile, to which I wanted to punch his face for

~~~

Not giving anyone a chance to stop me, I sprinted as quickly as I could and with the help of the ODM gear, I managed to slice off one person's head before they could turn. Their eyes widened as they let out an agonized scream at the pain, their head flew behind me, towards Todoroki, fortunately for him, he dodged it, but the person behind him didn’t.

The unlucky person was Uraraka and she fell on her butt as she held the head in both of her hands, she let out a traumatizing scream at the sight, and she stared at it in both horror and disbelief. Lots of blood that was spilling from the head stained her hero costume, it was almost everywhere on her, including her face. There was a splatter of blood on her once innocent face, now covered in a dirty shade of crimson red blood.

Uraraka wasn’t the only one who was covered in blood, Todoroki also happened to have some blood spilled on him from when I sliced the police officer's head off. And of course, I as well had blood splattered on my face, nevertheless, I didn’t care. We had more important things to care about right now than a bit of blood, besides it wasn’t like I wasn’t used to it.

Todoroki stared at the head with wide eyes as his breath hitched. He had never seen someone getting killed right in front of him, and he was disgusted by the sight of it. By the sight of you, a villain who killed an innocent police officer. Moving faster than everyone, it even shocked Iida about how fast he moved. He almost managed to grab your wrist and pin you down before you could kill another innocent life.

However, the tables turned when suddenly, a blinding bright light appeared from where the police officer and some of the pro heroes stood. A hard wind flew so suddenly and so harshly that you flew back, the same goes for Todoroki as well. Your back hits Todoroki’s chest as you both fly back and you let out a groan at the collision.

Todoroki, being smart, moved quickly to wrap both of his arms around you and used his ice to make a barrier behind him to stop the both of you from flying. He quickly pinned you to the ice behind him and immediately encased both your arms and legs using his unforgivable ice. He glared at me.

I whimpered in pain from the merciless ice, it was even harsher than the one I saw on YouTube, the one where he was fighting with Sero at the U.A. festival. Your breath hitched in fear, ‘I’ve seen Todoroki look at me in disgust and anger but never have I seen him look at me like this! God, it’s scary!’ I try to cower away from him, ‘I’ve seen scarier shit but why is the way he’s looking at me so terrifying!’ I let out a shocked gasp as I felt both the cold and temperature rise from Todoroki. A wisp of fire and mist of ice escaped from him.

“Y-You don’t u-unders-stand!” My teeth chatter at the ice. “The- ti-titans! He-Here! Right n-now!”

“Shut the hell up villain, you just killed an innocent man and yet you still follow through with your lies!” He screamed angrily at me, making me whimper and cower even more.

Booming roars and screeches coming from multiple titans came from behind us, followed by the ugly screams of fear coming from class 1-A. Todoroki stared at the titan in both fear and shock. So you weren’t lying. Those were definitely giant humanoid creatures that looked like they could eat you up. You didn’t mention that it was naked though and had no genitals. Although people would find it funny usually, nobody, however, found it funny in this situation. It looked like something that came out of a horror movie. It looked so terrifying that everyone stopped in their tracks and froze.

“To-Todoroki! Please unfreeze me! They're all going to die i-if you don’t!” You forced your voice to scream it out loud without stuttering too much from the cold.

He gave you no response as he was frozen still just like the others. You were a bit far from the others and the titans since it was only you and Todoroki who was too close to the transformation that you guys flew back farther from everyone else. Means you guys were less of a target for the titans. Meaning that the rest of class 1-A that was surrounded by the center by all the titans would become titan food. They would be slaughtered without any mercy. Bakugo was the first to move before anyone else, he flew using his quirk to charge at the titans. Aizawa-sensei, Midoriya, Kirishima, and Iida screamed at him in protest of what he was doing.

“Kacchan! Don’t hurt them too much it might affect their original bodies once the quirk wears off!” Hero Deku yelled at the explosive boy.

“Bakugo! Don’t do anything yet without Aizawa-sensei’s permission!” Iida tried to pull Bakugo back but ultimately failed

“Bakugo, get back with the others! We can’t make the first move!” Aizawa screamed at his student in both an irritated and angry tone.

“Bakubro! Wait for me!” Kirishima tried to follow after Bakugo but was unsuccessful because his teacher pulled him back using his combat scarf.

But of course, Bakugo being Bakugo didn’t listen to them and instead, stupidly charged at the titan head-on and fired one of his biggest explosions at the titan in front of him causing a large black smoke to veil in front of him. Bakugo gave a large smirk at the sight, believing that he defeated the monster. To everyone’s shock except for mine, a giant hand stuck out of the smoke not a moment later and attempted to grab him, luckily he managed to maneuver around it. The titan stepped out of the smoke with almost no damage, the only proof that Bakugo had blasted a bomb at the monster was a few scratches and dirt that decorated the monster’s skin. But their supposed scratches suddenly disappeared in less than a second in front of their eyes.

“Are you guys part of the LOV?! Is this a new version of Nomu’s?!” Bakugo screamed at me in frustration and if you listened closely, in fear as well.

“Of co-course not!” I yelled back as hard as I could so that my voice could reach them, “Hero Shoto! Fuck- fucking unfreeze me now!” I quickly glared back at Shoto, trying to hide my fear.

He never answered me but instead was about to run to the others to help them. But he stopped as he watched the others activate their quirks to protect themselves. He contemplated leaving me to help the others, he was mostly concerned about what would happen if I managed to escape his ice. So he stayed by my side and even from this far, he used both of his quirks to help the fight.

They stared in frustration at the titans, none of their quirks were working against them except for Yaoyozorou. Soon blood will be spilled and I can’t do anything about it because I’m being frozen and even if I did manage to escape I’d have to deal with Todoroki. ‘This isn’t a good position! I need to escape right now or someone will die!’ I began to keep on struggling, a bit of blood dripped down from my wrist and more scratches began to appear. To my horror, I was too late, one of the titans that Yaoyozorou didn’t manage to hit with her cannon, grabbed Mineta.

“Oh, it’s just Mineta. We can let him die. His death wouldn’t have any meaning, especially after he acts in perverted ways around me.” I said out loud to myself in a bored manner, effectively stopping my struggling, Todoroki noticed my words and gave a harsh glare because of it to which replied with a sick smirk.

As though in slow motion everyone's jaw dropped at the sight of Mineta being grabbed by the titans. He wailed and pleaded for someone to do something to help him, save him. Everyone used their quirks to charge at the particular titan, but it had no effects. Their quirks don’t do shit to defeat the titan. They failed in trying to rescue the pervert which costs more complications. As they focused their quirks on that particular titan. It gave the other titans an open spot to grab the other students. Now everything was in complete chaos.

Todoroki gritted his teeth harshly as he watched the situation unfold. He realized that the only shot of defeating these so-called ‘titans’ was to let you go and have you defeat them.

“Damn it! Fine! I’ll let you go, but you need to defeat them!” He screamed at me as he unfreezes the ice around my wrist and legs.

‘Shit, it’s freezing, but thank God that Todoroki is literally hot! I can feel the coldness already melting from my body.’ I let out a little sigh of happiness at the warmth. I can feel a bit of blood trickling down from my wrist but the pain was numbed because of the ice. And right now I can feel adrenaline beginning to pump through my veins, twisting both of the swords in my hand to get a better grip. I charged at the titans with only one thought running through my head. And that was to save everyone I can save.

Even Mineta, even if he was a big pervert, even deserved to live. But of course, I’m only saying this because of the adrenaline. If it wasn’t for that, then I would have left Mineta to die happily. I shook my head, ‘There’s no time to think! I just need to move fast to kill the titans before they kill everyone!’ I screamed in my head to try and snap myself out of my thoughts.

As I ran towards the titan I activated my ODM gear in order to hurry my actions. But I was too late… The titan had put the damn pervert in its mouth, his head facing the titan's throat while his legs were sticking out of its mouth, pathetically wriggling and squirming. Not a second later I had almost reached the titan. It had already bit into him.

The titan threw its head back to finally finish its meal. I could hear everyone screaming and fighting for their lives as they stared helplessly at their dead classmate. I stared at it in disgust. ‘I’m too late…’ I was so disappointed in myself. I should have moved faster to kill the titans.

“Fuck!” I screamed in frustration

Burning anger and adrenaline pumped even harsher through my veins and it was beginning to hurt. My heart clenched in pain and for a second I had to resist the urge to clench my fist over my heart as though it would relieve the pain. I flew using my ODM gear and stabbed the titan in both of its eyes. I managed to avoid the blood that splatters, but not my fellow classmates. They stared in horror at what I had just done. Everyone realized what I was going to do. I am going to kill the titans with no mercy nor remorse.

“Ackerman! Don’t you dare kill them! We need to find a way to reverse the effects of the quirk!” Aizawa screamed at me, running at me in an attempt to stop me

“I said defeat! Not kill!” Todoroki who follow close behind me using his ice screamed

“This is not the work of a quirk! I have to kill them! There’s no other way or else they’ll kill others! Once they’ve become a titan you can’t turn them back! We can’t do anything else but this!”

I dodged all 3 of the attackers trying to grab me. My wrist almost got caught by Todoroki if it wasn’t for the titan that intervened at the last minute. Forced Todoroki to back off and dodge the titan's attempt at grabbing him. The titan was twisting and turning around in an attempt to try and grab us. Making it almost impossible to get a clean cut at its nape. More screams reached my ear and I turned my head towards the loud noise.

“Someone help me!” Ashido cried as she was held upside down by the titan, just right above its mouth that was wide open.

It was ready to devour her in one drop. I need to kill that titan first or we’ll suffer more losses.

“Shit! Shoto!” I used his hero name to get his attention which worked, “Distract this titan! I need to kill the others first! And don’t die on me!” He turned his head to Ashido and he got what I was doing, he muttered a curse under my breath and did as I told him, he knew that I was completely serious so he also turned even more serious than before if that was even possible?

“Hurry!” He screamed at me, using his ice to freeze the titan entirely, which didn’t last long because almost in an instant, it broke out as though the ice was nothing.

Using the ODM gear, I released more gas than I should have to go even faster. A trick up my sleeve that I learned from Mikasa not that long ago. I still wasn’t that used to the amazing speed that I blazed through me. Making my flying unstable, but despite that, I forced myself to get used to it quickly. People's lives were at stake, I needed to push myself or they’ll die. Flying up to the titan, I quickly cut off the hand that was holding Ashido and pushed her off the side. She screamed and groaned when her body hit the ground harshly. I didn’t look back to check up on her, the others could do it for me. I continue to fly and maneuver expertly in the air, doing a backflip over it in the air, and using both of the grappling hooks on either side of my waist.

I directed it to shoot out and stick on either side of the titan's nape. And using Levi’s signature kill move. My grip on both swords tightened and I drew them behind my back. And spinning in the air at such a very fast pace that anyone looking at me would also feel dizzy. I effectively and efficiently killed the titan in 1 single, powerful slash at its nape. Everyone saw my kill and stopped fighting the titan, noticing how Shoto was distracting the titan instead of killing it. They followed after his lead, while I instead used my skills to kill more of them as efficiently as I could.

Flying to the next titan who had managed to grab a fried brain Kaminari, and put him in its mouth. If I make one wrong, slow move then Chargebolt will die. He threw thumbs up in the air as his body was already halfway in the titan's mouth, it closed its teeth around him and before the titan could make its next move, I quickly intervened and sliced open both sides of its jaws.

Forced the titan to let Kaminari-kun slide out of his mouth and drop to the ground. Iida, using his quirk, immediately ran to Kaminari’s side and pulled him out of harm's way, dragging him to the center where everyone was huddled at. Taking care of the titan who tried to eat our cheap version of Pikachu as quickly as I could, I moved on to the next who grabbed another one of my classmates, Koda.

He had screamed in pure terror and used his quirk to call the birds in the distance to help him. Not all of the birds that he had summoned were there on time, the birds tried to peck out the titan’s eyes, but it was no use. With a few sway of the titan’s hand that was holding Koda, the birds flew away in fear.

Unfortunately, just like how the birds weren’t fast enough, I too wasn't fast enough to save Koda as an abnormal titan suddenly jumped in my face and I almost wasn’t fast enough to react. I had only barely managed to dodge in time. Doing a backflip, I quickly jumped behind it and killed the abnormal titan first, before killing the titan that was holding Koda, which unbeknownst to me, the boy was already dead at that moment. I had maneuvered behind the titan and even with no special technique, I had still managed to kill the titan. When I turned around to face the titan, it was already trying to pick up Uraraka, who Midoriya was trying to protect.

“Get away from her!” He screamed out in anger.

They both tried to use their quirks on the titan but nothing seemed to work. I could tell that Deku was getting more frustrated and tired of trying to defeat the titan, only to keep on failing. It was stupid for them to try and defeat the titans using their quirks. They’ve surely realized that by now.

I wondered if they noticed that the only person besides me that the titans are taking damage from is Yaoyorozou. And so I decided to speak up, maybe this was a terrible idea, but maybe, it could also lessen my work and create distractions from the titans.

“Creati!” I screamed at her

“What do you want, villain?! Can’t you see I’m a little busy!” She screamed back at me as she fired her cannon at the titan.

“Create as many guns as you can! Then pass them around! Aim for their eyes!” I screamed as I finished killing another titan.

“You're kidding me right?! I’m not making any guns! Someone could get hurt!” She screamed with wide eyes.

“If you won’t do it then the blood of our classmates is on your hands! I’m giving you a choice to help save them! Fucking take it now! It’s not like a cannon you made is any deadlier than a gun!” I said the last part in a very sarcastic voice as I finished killing another titan by first going for the heels in its legs, forcing it to fall to its knees, and seeing a perfect opening to kill the titan, I took it without hesitation.

The blood from the titans I had killed was dripping from my uniform, its stench was repulsive and I wanted nothing more than to wash myself and be ridden from the horrid stench. But alas, I couldn’t do that, there were still more people I had to save. Although I was quite used to this doesn’t mean I don’t hate it. Looking back at everything that happened, that led up to this moment. I’m not even sure if what I was doing was right at this point. The only thing I know I’m doing right is by killing the titans and letting the innocent souls trapped in them be free. Ending their suffering and nightmare.

“Shit! Create the damn guns already, Creati!” I screamed at Yaoyorozou as I saw Todoroki being grabbed by a 20-meter titan.

He stared in horror as he neared the titan's mouth. It didn’t matter if he activated his ice or fire to force the titan to release him. It didn’t matter because it didn’t affect the titan. Aizawa-sensei was trying his best to free one of his top students from the titan's clutches.

“Sensei! What should I do?!” Creati screamed in tears, watching as her classmates were being slaughtered in front of her, still shooting cannonballs at the titans in hopes it would stop the nightmare from playing in front of her.

“In the name of Eraserhead! I give you the permission to create guns and use them against the titans!” Truth be told sensei also had no idea what to do anymore, all he knew was that Ackerman was the only one who knew the titans better than anyone else so he decided that it’d be best to kill the titans first before they kill anyone else, thinking that he could deal with his consequences after this battle.

Not thinking twice, I quickly launched my hooks next to Yaoyorozou, she gasped in shock as I grabbed the gun that was coming out of her stomach, forcing her to finish it making it more quickly as there was no more time left.

Todoroki neared the titan's mouth, struggling desperately in its grasp, it was like everything was in slow motion, “I won’t let you die like the others!” I screamed, throwing one of my blades into the titan’s eyes.

Bullseye! I hit its right eye! It cried out in pain, releasing one hand on Todoroki, but still not letting go of him. No time to waste, I lifted the shotgun to my shoulder, hoping that it had some ammo in it already. Aiming at the beast’s eye, I took a deep breath and hoped for the best.

Bang!

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