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#you could skip it and miss NOTHING like nothing. there’s a single gif set I keep seeing of that last like 5 mins of the ep and that’s all
forever-rogue · 6 months
Note
OMG TASM INSPO OKAY OKAY!
I saw this prompt a while ago that said: one small kiss before fully devouring the other person and I thought it would be perfect for pining idiots Peter and r. Maybe they dare them to kiss at a party or they get tipsy enough to be very affectionate which leads to the kiss. But then one of them is like shit I ruined our friendship and ghosts the other until they talk and get back together and kiss again 🥰
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AN | If there is one thing I love it’s blind fools in love! Enjoy ❤️
Pairing | tasm!Peter Parker x fem!reader
Warnings | Language
Word Count | 4.5k
Masterlist | Main | Peter
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
He was so pretty like this.
Wild, unruly hair, plush lips, pink cheeks and eyes like rich honey. 
“What’re you lookin’ at, huh?” he reached over and brushed a lock of your behind your ear, so close that you could smell the sweet alcohol that lingered on his lips. Your heart skipped a few beats at the tender touch; it was nothing new but every one of his touches felt like the first time. He rested his palm against your cheek as you swallowed the lump in your throat, “you’re being weird.”
“Nuh uh,” you narrowed your eyes at him but your weak attempt at being serious did nothing for him. Instead he laughed, a sugary sweet sound you wanted to bottle up and keep as yours and yours only forever, “you’re being weird, Pete.”
“Whatever you say,” his long, lithe fingers ghosted along your jaw before he retracted his touch. You missed the warmth of his skin on yours almost immediately, “I think you’re drunk.”
“Shut up,” you groaned and finished the last bit of the hard cider in your bottle. You were so far from drunk, having nursed the same bottle over the last hour and a half just as he had with his beer. Neither of you were even tipsy, just enough to feel a slight buzz in your bones, let alone drunk, “‘m not. Just tired of you.”
“That’s a lie,” he whispered as you nodded meekly. You could never lie to him, or even fool him in the slightest. He’d been your best friend for almost a decade; he knew you better than anyone ever had.
“It’s a lie,” you confirmed, shifting your gaze away from him. You looked around the room, trying to focus on literally anyone else at the party. Unfortunately, no one else seemed to capture your attention - at least not as much as Peter Parker did. You could feel his gaze trained on you, and part of you was worried for a moment that he was almost able to hear every single thought you had running through your mind. You turned back and immediately felt your warm up, “Pete?”
“I want to kiss you,” he whispered, voice so soft that your ears were playing tricks on you. When you saw the quiet and determined expression on his face you could tell that you had actually heard what you thought you’d heard.
“What?” you’d leaned in closer, inadvertently, but found yourself inches away from the pretty boy. The corner of his mouth tipped up in a very Peter-esque smile - that your smile. You wanted to bottle it up and keep it safe in your heart forever. You huffed when he just stared at you like you were magic, “Peter. What did you say?”
“C’mon Bee,” you could hear the subtle groan in his voice, “you heard me. I want to kiss you.”
“Why?” your brows knitted together in confusion; you were so ridiculously cute especially with the way your nose scrunched, “me? Pete, you’re just drunk.”
“Yeah you,” an incredulous huff escaped his lips. How? How did you not know that he was in love with you? Especially since he’d fallen for you days into your friendship so many years ago, “I like you, you know. And I’m not drunk. Not in the slightest.”
“Of course you do,” he was drunk. He had to be despite his insistence that he wasn’t. Right? You swallowed thickly, “you’re my best friend.”
“No, you don’t…” he put a hand on your neck, his thumb brushing along the soft skin under your ear, “I’m going to kiss you, okay?”
“Okay,” your voice was so small it was basically a squeak, but it was enough to set him at ease to actually do what he’d been dreaming of for so long.
Peter closed the small gap between the two of you, pressing his lips to yours - softly at first, questioning and learning. When you didn’t panic or pull away. He deepened the kiss, earning a small moan from you. That sound made electricity shoot throughout his entire body; he wanted more, he wanted it all. All your sounds just for him. 
Before you let it get too far, you pulled back, wrapping your fingers around his wrist and taking his hand away. Peter stopped immediately and looked at your in surprise and… hurt? on his face. You held up your hands, both of them shaking, your mouth opening and closing a few times as you searched for the right words.
“Bee?”
“I-I can’t do this,” you scooted your chair back and stood up, shaking your head, “this was a mistake. I’m sorry, Peter. I gotta go.”
You grabbed your bag and started to push your way through the throng of crowds to leave. Peter had jumped up to his feet and attempted to follow you, “wait - Bee!”
But you didn’t wait. By the time he got to the door, you were already long gone. He sighed heavily, banging his head against the wall as he tried to figure out what he did wrong. But, he figured, he’d give you space tonight and then check on you tomorrow. Surely this was all just…a misunderstanding. 
Surely you felt the same things he did. He’d been wishing for nothing else for so long.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Peter’s hopes that he would be able to talk to you and get to the bottom of what was going on were quickly dashed the next. 
He didn’t hear a peep from you - but it wasn’t for the lack of trying. He texted and called and even showed up at your apartment to no avail. In reality you’d received and read every text, sent every call to voicemail, and ignored his knocking. You just couldn’t face Peter, not today…make not ever. 
You were still trying to put all the pieces of what had happened together. He’d told you that he liked you and that he wanted to kiss you. 
And then he did exactly that. 
But it didn’t make sense. Peter Parker was your best friend, and best friends definitely didn’t kiss like that. He said he wasn’t drunk but there couldn't be any other reason, right? Why else would he suddenly want to kiss you? Part of you was afraid that you’d taken advantage of Peter to get what you wanted. Of course you wanted to kiss him; you’d been in love with him for years. Instead of risking anything, you’d kept yourself thoroughly in the best friend zone. You’d rather pine for him and suppress those feelings and keep him in your life, than potentially risk losing him completely. 
Life without Peter Park wasn’t anything you wanted to experience. 
And in a few moments of inhibition, you might have ruined everything after all. You couldn’t face him ever again. The thought of that alone was enough to make you want to curl up and cry. 
You were being dramatic…you knew you were. You needed something - someone - logical to keep you from spiraling. Grabbing your phone, you quickly found her contact and called her, pacing around as you waited for her to answer.
“MJ,” you let out a sigh of relief when she picked up after a few rings, “I did something bad. Can you come over?”
You heard her sweet laugh on the other side, “of course. I’ll be there in twenty? Shall I bring a bottle of wine?”
“Yes please,” you rubbed at your forehead, “two bottles if you have it.”
“On my way!”
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Little did you know, MJ was already way ahead of you. She was already well aware of what had happened; Peter had called her, close to tears, about an hour beforehand. He was quick to spill his guts out to her, trying to make sense of everything…and definitely panicking that he’d never see you again.
MJ, meanwhile, was terribly amused at the panic both of you were displaying. She was well aware that the two of you were in love with each other, even if you the two of you weren’t aware. To be fair…everyone was aware but the two of you. It was so obvious to anyone that spent even a moment around you that you were in love. Somehow that just didn’t get through to you - not yet but Mary Jane Watson was determined to finally get you both to realization and clarity. 
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
“Hi honey,” MJ let herself into your apartment with the key you’d given her long ago. You raised your hand and gave her a small wave from where you were curled up on the couch, buried under a heap of blankets. She set the bottles of wine down on the coffee table before raising an eyebrow at you, “and just what do we call this?”
“It’s calling wallowing,” you huffed, sitting up and looking at her with an upset expression on your face, “I fucked up.”
“I’m sure you didn’t,” she insisted softly before going into the kitchen and grabbing a couple of wine glasses and a bottle opener. You made room for her on the couch, and sat down next to you, carefully opening a bottle and pouring a couple of glasses. You picked yours up and clinked it against hers, “cheers. Now tell me what’s wrong.”
“Peter,” you took a huge drink before allowing yourself to look at the giant grin on MJ’s face, “it’s Peter.”
“And…what about Peter?” she was prying, gently doing so, but curious to know. If there was someone that knew Peter almost as well as you it was her. She’d dated him for a few years in high school after all, “what did he do? And/or what did you do?”
You sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly just as you’d learned in yoga class. You pinched the bridge of your nose before setting your glass down and angling your body closer to her, “hekissedme.”
“Pardon?” oh, she’d heard you loud and clear and you both knew it.
“Peter kissed me,” you said more slowly, letting the words wash over you as the memories of last night popped, “and I…kissed him back.”
MJ was practically giddy with excitement, barely holding back her smile. She was definitely the president, vice-president, secretary, and treasurer of the ‘you and Peter fanclub.’ She took another sip of her drink before setting the glass down and reached for one of your hands, “and what’s the problem with that? The two of you are clearly in love! It’s about time one of you made a move!”
“What?” you tilted your head to the side and looked at her in confusion, “what do you mean?”
“Oh my god,” she threw her head back with a loud groan, “how are you so smart and dumb at the same time?!”
“MJ-”
“I know how you feel about Peter,” you’d confessed your love and adoration for your best friend many times - tipsy, drunk, and sober. And it wasn’t like either of you did anything to hide it. You huffed and looked at her like a lost little puppy, “and I know how he feels about you. I’m not sure what the problem is…”
“Peter doesn’t….he was drunk.”
“Peter doesn’t get drunk,” she raised her eyebrows in a sort of tell me I’m wrong expression, “but what exactly led to him finally making a move?”
“We were at that party at Beth’s and we were just hanging out and talking. I’d had a few drinks and he did too,” ugh. The way he’d looked at you was like something else, “and later on he told me he wanted to kiss me. I asked him why and he just sort of…made it seem like it was obvious. I asked if he was drunk but he said no and I don’t…fuck, I don’t know.”
“It is obvious, all things aside,” she waved her hand, “but if he says he wasn’t drunk, what’s wrong? Was it bad?”
“No. No,” it was anything but bad. In fact, you were ready to admit that it was easily the best kiss of your life. That made you both nervous and excited, “it was good.”
“But you didn’t want it?”
“I did, I do,” you drained the rest of your glass before pulling your legs up and hugging your knees to your chest, “I liked it and I want to do it again. You know I do. It’s just…what if he thinks its a mistake? What if he hated it and it’s ruined everything. I don’t want to lose him, MJ. He’s too important to me.”
“Honey,” she mirrored your position and her face turned serious, “I mean in the most loving way possible, but you are so incredibly obtuse. Peter is in love with you. You’re in love with Peter. What else could you possibly need to know?”
“I know I love him,” you agreed, “so much. But how can you be so sure?”
“Because he’s told me!” she threw up her hands as your eyes widened in surprise. She put her hands on yours and gave you a little shake, “he’s told me that he’s in love with you. More than once. I’ve just been…the two of you are so damn stupid. You’re so clearly in love with each other but neither of you can just admit and move forward. You’re not going to lose Peter, I swear on that. But sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith and move forward. Otherwise nothing is ever to change.”
“MJ-”
“It’s not even that big of a leap,” she whispered gently, “it’s Peter. He’s always going to be there to catch you.”
You swallowed thickly, blinking back the tears stinging at the back of your eyes, “I’m scared, MJ.”
“I know,” she gently brushed her knuckles against your cheek, “and it’s okay to be scared. But this is a sure thing. But, for now, let’s have some more wine and watch a bad movie and order pizza?”
“That sounds perfect,” you agreed sniffling slightly, “thanks MJ.”
You hoped she was right. You hoped that this leap of faith would be worth it.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
As it turned, your great leap of faith…was a little delayed. As in one thing led to another and your nerves and anxiety got the better of you and you hadn't seen or talked to Peter in two weeks.
It was the longest you'd gone in the decade you'd known him without talking or seeing each other. It sucked. You knew Peter was a huge part of your life but you hadn't realized just how much…until he was gone. 
And it was definitely your own fault. Peter kept trying and trying to get through to you. That part warmed your heart and made things worse at the same time. You almost wished he could let it go but you knew that wasn't his style at all. His persistence and big heart were some of the many things you loved about him. You were going to talk to him at some point…you just needed to work up the courage. Soon hopefully. Soon.
Soon, as it turned out, came on a chilly fall day as you saw at your favorite cafe. You were halfheartedly sipping on a coffee as you worked on your laptop. You had hoped that getting out of the house and the office to work in a different space, one you normally loved, would help to cheer you up but it didn’t work. Not that you had anyone to blame but yourself. 
With an unwittingly heavy sigh, you looked up and stared out the window, watching the rain drizzle down. The city was beautiful this time of year; only this time it didn’t feel as lovely. 
What you didn’t expect, however, was to find Peter Parker stopping mid-walk and looking straight back at you. A tentative little smiled up the corners of his mouth as held up his hand in a small wave; a white flag gesture. You let out a nervous huff of laughter before smiling back at him and holding up your hand in response. 
He stood there for a moment before mouthing something at you, motioning with his to see if you’d come out. This time you didn’t hesitate as you shoved your laptop into your bag and almost ran outside to meet him. You didn’t know where you stood with Peter, but even just seeing him already made your heart feel so much better. 
“Hi,” he sounded almost nervous as you stopped in front of him, neither of you caring that you were getting wet. 
“Hi,” you whispered back, unsure of what to say or do. But this time you couldn’t run away or hide; you had to face up to what was going on, “can we talk?”
“Yeah,” he took your bag from you and hooked it over his shoulder, starting to walk in the direction of his apartment. You fell into step with him, neither of you saying anything, but walking close enough so that the backs of your hands continued to gently brush against each other. The tension hanging in the air between the two of you was palpable but you were afraid to say anything to break the silence. 
Peter didn’t seem to harbor any ill feelings as he continued to open the doors for you. By the time you were inside the apartment, he closed the door and leaned against, watching you closely. You stood there nervously, trying to think of what to say, all the while hoping that Peter would say something instead. 
The two of you looked at each other in silence for what seemed like a small eternity. The next thing you knew, Peter came over to you and took your face gently in his hands, warm doe eyes searching yours. You offered him the tiniest of nods before he leaned in and kissed you. This time, instead of over thinking anything, you allowed yourself to live in the moment. At first Peter was afraid that you didn’t want this and he’d somehow read the signs wrong, but then he felt you loop your arms around his waist and kiss him back. 
And it felt like pure magic. It was everything you could have ever dreamed of and then some more. Kissing Peter felt so…right. Judging by the way he refused to pull away from you until you were both breathless, you were sure that he felt the same. He pressed his forehead against yours and let a small, wistful sigh. 
“I’m sorry,” you whispered softly, unable to get your emotions in check from what had just happened. The only thing you knew was that you loved Peter; that was all that mattered, “Pete.”
“Don’t apologize,” he traced his fingers along your jaw and down your neck, causing goosebumps to explode all over your skin, “just talk to me please.”
You nodded, allowing yourself to look into his eyes. There was no malice in them, only…well, you weren’t absolutely sure what it was, but it was…something. There was a hopeful expression on his eyes as you nervously played with your hands. 
“Pete,” he loved the way you said his name; it always made him weak in the knees, “when you kissed me last time, were you drunk? Tipsy? Anything?”
He made a small sound, but shook his head, giving you the answer that you had already known was true, “no.”
“Why did…want to kiss me?” you were adorably; adorably blind. Peter looked at you softly, tilting his head to the side as he tutted. 
“You really don’t get it, do you?” he asked as you bit your lip. He moved towards his bedroom and motioned for you to follow him. When he stepped inside, he went to his dresser and dug around for a few moments before pulling out a big cardboard box. You watched with rapt attention as he took off the lid and poured the contents out on the bed. It was a large pile of photo strips, receipts, notes, and other silly little trinkets, “I have kept every silly note, every set of photobooth pictures, every receipt from anything important or special that we’ve done in the last decade.”
“Oh,” your eyes started to sting with tears as you looked at everything. You reached for a strip of photos - the first ones you’d taken together - and looked them over. It was the two of you, about nine years younger, making silly poses. Except in the last photo; you were making a silly face but Peter wasn’t. He was looking right at you with that same expression he’d always had just for you. Just for you. You looked at him and found him watching you intently, his cheeks tinged with a pretty shade of pink. It was like everything suddenly clicked in your mind, “oh. Peter…”
“It’s been a long time Bee,” his voice was so soft and low, “all this time, I’ve been waiting for you to catch up.”
“You never…” you sifted through the other photos and gathered them all up, looking through them. Fuck, you were an idiot. Every single time there was that look, “you never said anything.”
“No,” he admitted, “I was sure you’d get there eventually, and I’d always be here.”
“But at the party,” you felt even more stupid now; he had basically when telling the same thing then but you just didn’t want to believe that it could be true, “you said something.”
“I couldn’t keep my eyes off you. You’re so beautiful,” he watched the smile on your face grow as you looked at some of the silly post-it notes the two of you had exchanged when you still worked at the same lab, “I never can. I couldn’t help myself.”
“Wait,” you sat at the edge of the bed, clutching one of the notes tightly in your hand, “can you just…spell it out for me? I-I don’t know if my brain is working properly right now.”
“Bee,” he crouched down in front of you, large hands settling on your thighs, “I love you. Not just as a best friend, but as everything. I want everything, but only if it’s with you.”
You put one of your hands on his and gave it a gentle squeeze, “yeah?”
“Yeah,” he turned your hand over and traced a finger along the heart and life lines on your palm, “I’m in love with you.”
“Peter.”
“I was wondering when you were going to catch up,” he brought your hand to his lips and pressed a tender kiss to your palm, “MJ’s been trying to get me to tell you for a long time.”
“This whole time?” he nodded as you looked at him with a most ardent and loving expression, “when did you know?”
“It was at that first fair we went that summer after we met,” you remembered that day so clearly. From the sounds and the smells to what the two of you were wearing, to all the whispered conversations and longing looks, “you were wearing that pretty sundress - the yellow one with the little daisies on it - and I almost lost it. I think I knew that night. I really wanted to kiss you then.”
“I wanted you to kiss me then too,” you admitted sheepishly, feeling your entire face warm up, “it was that New Years Eve for me. You took me ice skating and I really wanted to hold your hand so I pretended to be super bad at skating. When it was midnight and kissed my cheek, I knew it was always going to be you for me.”
“I knew you were faking,” he laughed softly, eyes sparkling with happiness, “but I really liked holding your hand and didn’t want to let go. I’ve taken every and any excuse over the years to hold your hand or touch you.”
“I’m…I’m scared, Peter,” you couldn’t imagine a life without him. He was the biggest part of your heart, “what if something happens and we can’t be friends anymore? I don’t want to lose you. Ever.”
“I promise you that you are never going to lose me,” you hoped it was true; you desperately wanted it to be true, “not as Spider-Man and not as plain old Peter. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Pinky promise?” you held up your other hand and extended your pinky towards his. He hooked his finger around yours without hesitation.
“Pinky promise,” he repeated, “and you know the pink promise is law. No one can break them. It’s for life.”
“What if you start to hate me?” that would be your worst fear, “if we start dating or something.”
“I hate to break it to you, honey,” he plopped onto the floor and gently pulled and maneuvered you into his lap. Yeah…that might have become your new favorite spot, “we’ve basically already been dating. It’s really not going to change much. Just some…added benefits.”
And at that, you relaxed, allowing yourself to melt into his body, laughing softly as you rested your forehead on his shoulder, “I guess you’re right. But, Pete-”
“I’m sure,” he put his hand under your chin and turned your face up to his, “I always have been sure. It’s always going to be you.”
“Me too,” you took advantage of the moment and leaned up to steal a quick kiss from him, “I am sorry though, for ignoring you for the past couple of weeks. I was scared and then I didn’t know how to approach you after that.”
“I knew you were doing okay…ish,” he immediately knew what he was going to say next, “MJ kept me updated.”
“She’s going to kill me,” you sighed, “she’s been so mad at me for how I’ve been acting - not that I blame her. She told me to tell you how I felt. She told me it was just a small leap of faith.”
“I’m right here to catch you,” of course he was. He had been since the day he’d met you, “how do you feel, Bee? Tell me.”
“I’m in love with you, Peter Parker,” the smile on his face was beaming. It was enough to warm your heart a million times over, “I want you.”
“You have me.”
“I know,” you took his hand in yours and laced your fingers together. You’d held hands before but it felt so different this time around, “you have me too, you know.”
“I know,” he mirrored the actions with your other hands, “I’ve always known.”
“Hmm,” you closed your eyes and hummed in content, “will you kiss me again?”
“Gladly, Bee,” he brushed his nose against yours, “always.”
MJ was going to flip when she heard the news.
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jjunieworld · 4 months
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09. more than anything ⸝ ˚⋆
↳ half written, half texts. word count: 1.1k
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— SOOBIN’S POV —
soobin could hardly wait until 3:30pm. he was so anxious about it, in fact, that he skipped the class he had before it all together.
he sat on his bed debating on what to do. should he bring something for her? no, that definitely makes him look insincere. she he put on nicer clothes? he didn’t know. so he instead sat on his bed frozen, all these thoughts going through his head.
the clock ticked by and every five seconds soobin would check his phone to make sure time didn’t jump five hours instead and he missed his only chance to explain himself. currently, it was 3:15pm. it takes him seven minutes to walk down to the cafe from his dorm.
should i get there early? soobin thought. perhaps. if he left now, he would get to the cafe at 3:21pm. maybe that’s too desperate, he concluded.
minutes ticked by and soobin decided he couldn’t wait any longer. he rushed out of his building and made the trek to the cafe.
when he arrived, it was 3:25pm. he tried looking through the window of the cafe for y/n, but he couldn’t see anything.
suddenly a thought forced its way into his head. what if she wasn’t here? what if she changed her mind?
as he pushed through the doors, he let out a sigh of relief. there y/n sat, at the same table she helped soobin at a lifetime ago. she didn’t look up at the sound of the bell, her eyes were downcast and she had a blank look on her face.
when soobin sat down all she did was look up at him. it felt like she was looking right through him. this y/n looked and felt so different from the y/n from over a week ago.
wordlessly, she put her phone face up on the table, the timer set for ten minutes on it. she pressed start and looked back up at soobin.
his heart pounded in his chest as he struggled to get his words together. the weight of knowing she was timing him didn’t make it any better.
he started by apologizing, profusely. then he went into what exactly happened that night, the drinking, the jealousy, the argument with sakura, and finally, the words he didn’t mean.
“i know people say that what you say in the heat of the moment are your true words, but i swear to you i didn’t mean that,” he breathed. he glanced down at her phone. five more minutes. y/n stared at him, once again saying nothing. so soobin continued.
“and to answer your question… it’s not that i was ignoring you. well, i guess i was, but not in the way you think. i promise! i was avoiding the feelings that came with seeing you. being near you. i like you, y/n. more than i’ve ever liked anyone. and i didn’t understand those feelings at first, i still kinda don’t. i thought that if i avoided you, then maybe they would go away. i didn’t even think about how that would affect you, and i’m truly sorry for that.”
the words spilled out of his mouth one by one until he couldn’t stop. he wanted to tell her more, but he got the majority of what he wanted to say across. and he only had two more minutes left.
soobin waited for y/n to say something, but for the remaining two minutes she simply stared at him with that same blank look. he desperately wished he knew what she was thinking. any indication that his words didn’t go in one ear and straight out the other.
her phone buzzed on the table when the two minutes were up. she grabbed it, stood up, and left the cafe without saying a single word to soobin.
soobin sat at the table stumped. he stared at the chair across from him where she just sat that was now bare. did he fuck it all up? was it all truly over?
after a couple more minutes, he too stood, and moved to leave the cafe.
he wasn’t paying attention as he went to open the door, too inside his head. so he was very shocked when it opened right in his face. a pissed looking yunjin pushed him backwards, demanding him to sit the hell down. and so he went and sat back at the table he was just at.
“of all the places…” she muttered under her breath as she sat. “of all the places…” she said again, louder, “of all the places she would disappear to when i go to check on her, she was here with you.”
she scoffed and looked up at him. he went to say something, but she held a hand up.
“shut up. i don’t want to hear it. she gave you one last chance, you’re very lucky. you try and pull some stupid shit like that again…” yunjin trailed off. she was so angry she could barely get her words out. soobin understood. she scoffed again, looked him up and down, and left.
soobin ran his hands through his hair. he’s done so so many times today that the strands were probably sticking up at this point.
he went over yunjin’s words. “she gave you one last chance, you’re very lucky.” indeed, he was, and he wasn’t going to blow it again.
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classes were finally over and soobin could finally take his long awaited nap. late classes were actually torture.
as he was walking to the elevator, he felt someone come up next to him. he looked over to see y/n.
she didn’t look at him. instead her gaze was solely focused on the hallway in front of her. soobin smiled a little to himself and kept walking. he could feel some lingering stares on them, but he couldn’t care less. all that mattered was that she was next to him.
y/n moved to the side of the small crowd waiting by the elevator and soobin followed. she waited as they all got on said elevator, and until the elevator came back up empty. they got on, standing side by side, and soobin watched her.
he was willing to wait however long it took for y/n to speak to him.
soobin felt her hand slide into his. a smile broke out on his face as she looked up to him.
“you like me?” y/n asked him. “more than anything,” he replied. she smiled back at him. she nodded a little to herself as she looked back down.
“good,” she said. she looked back up to him. “you owe me another date.” soobin laughed a little and then nodded. “where do you want to go?”
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masterlist.
summary: choi soobin has always been the popular kid surrounded by his popular friends. y/n… not so much. one night, soobin and his friends make bet that soobin can’t get y/n to date him in a month. unfortunately for y/n, they’re a hopeless romantic.
A/N: yunjin do nawt play… she gets down… double upload as a present! happy holidays!! ♡
taglist: @imagineyour-kpopboy @gothgyuu @carengene (if your name is bold it wouldn’t let me tag you!)
— kipo <3
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darthannie · 6 months
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day fifteen: daddy kink with lenny miller
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pairing: Lenny Miller x f!reader word count: 832 warnings: heavy use of 'daddy', use of 'baby', kinda dom!Lenny Miller, a/n: Yes, it’s your typical “omg did I just say that?!” BUT I don’t care I love that trope. Didn't go super deep into the dynamic but I definitely want to explore daddy kinks further.  Anyway, Lenny is just so boyfriend to me I want him so bad. kinktober masterlist
You wore red for him. It was the only lingerie you owned and didn’t hate. It covered and revealed all the right places. The lace and satin were soft on your skin. You wore the set underneath a t-shirt and shorts you usually wore to bed, trying to stay inconspicuous. He had sent you a text earlier telling you to expect him and around seven you heard a knock at the door. 
You skipped the pleasantries when you opened the door, pulling him into a kiss right as he stepped through the threshold. You were excited to see him. Your relationship stood in an awkward place. You knew where your footing was, but you weren’t sure about his. All of that faded away when he shut the door behind him, wrapping his arms around your waist, and returning your kiss with a fervor that said he missed you too. 
He pulled away before the moment could escalate. “I don’t have all that much time tonight, so we better make it count,” he said. You lifted the hem of your shirt and pulled down the waistband of your shorts, showing a bit of the red lace that lay underneath. “Then you better come catch me.” You chuckled as you ran off towards the bedroom, his steps following close behind. You bounced onto the bed and he crawled over you, kicking off his shoes as he did. You took off his shirt and unbuttoned his pants. He quickly pulled them off as he kissed you, only breaking away to take off your shirt.
He took in the sight of the red fabric curving around your breasts and couldn’t wait to look at the entire ensemble. He pulled down your shorts and bit his lip upon seeing the red lace leaving nothing to the imagination. He decided to be playful and use his teeth to remove your panties. Once he pulled them down enough he opened your legs just wide enough for his head to fit between your legs. 
He licked your clit ever so lightly, only trying to make you shiver in anticipation. He slowly licked up and down your slit, making sure to indulge in the taste of you. His fingers teased your entrance and you moaned. He put one in, testing you, before he stuck in another. A switch flipped in his head, “no time” he thought. His fingers began moving quickly as he devoured you. He hit the right place every single time causing your body to convulse. “Oh, f-fuck daddy.” You drew out. 
He pulled back and halted his movements. “Daddy?”
You caught your breath. “Fuck, it… just came out. I didn’t mean to… I mean. Do you not like it?” You were a blubbering mess. You’d never meant to cross that boundary. 
“No, I like it. I just didn’t know if you would,” he smiled. “Call me that again.” He urged you.
“You want me to refer to you as-“
“Yes.” He looked serious. 
Flirtatiously, you responded, “Okay, daddy.”
He inserted his fingers again and began moving them. He watched as your chest raised and fell. His fingers moved faster. He broke the silence.“Whose pussy is this?”
“Yours, daddy. It’s yours,” you mewled.
He groaned, palming himself through his underwear. 
“You need daddy’s cock?”
“Yes, please.” You were desperate. “Please, please, please I need it, daddy!”
He smirked and took off his underwear, letting it fall to some unknown place. He stroked himself before positing himself at your wet entrance. You grabbed onto his shoulders as he started to fuck you, hard. Lenny usually liked to take things slow with you, but he couldn’t restrain himself. “Daddy, fuck, so good. You’re so good t-to me,” you moaned. His jaw clenched. All he could manage was a string of expletives leaving his mouth. 
“I want to look at you when you cum, all right? Eyes on me.”
“Yes, daddy.” Referring to him in such a way felt so natural, that you were surprised it hadn’t come out sooner. 
“I’m going to count down and you’re going to cum for me. Understood?”
“Yes.” You caught your mistake before he had a chance to correct you “Yes, daddy.”
“Good girl.” He drew out the ‘good’, making your back arch. He started his countdown at ten. By five you were holding in your orgasm. When he finally got to one you crumbled down. You never broke eye contact with him, looking into his icy blue eyes as he came inside you. He kissed you as you came down from your high, pulling out and dragging you close to him as he lay on his side. You cuddled into him, closing your eyes as you nuzzled under his neck. He stroked your arm, feeling the warmth of your body radiate onto him. He leaned down and kissed your forehead. 
“You did so good for me, baby.” He held you tighter and you gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek.
“Anything for you, daddy.”
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Taglist:
@devotedlyshadowytheorist, @dxnger-dxys, @tommyshelbywhore, @quinnlilias,@madnessandobsession, @mvpr-moon, @nela-cutie, @faebirdie, @charmed-asylum, @anasanthology, @ilikefictionalmen, @akanne-aka, @no-fooking-fighting,@queenofstresss, @flwrs4aust, @mrkdvidal1989, @00hsv, @laylasbunbunny
(If something is up with your tag or you would like to be added, let me know!)
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make-me-imagine · 1 year
Text
My Person
Plot: Thinking you are going to be alone on Valentines day. You receive a surprise visit from your best-friend and secret crush.
Prompts: "I saw this and thought of you." + 'Receiving flowers with secret meanings.' and "What are these for?" "Valentines Day." "Why?" + 'First Confession'
Pairing: Shang-Chi x Gn!Reader
Requested By: @youngcroissantturkeyworribler
Warnings: Kiss at the end.
Words: 1.6k
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-
As you bit into another Valentines chocolate, you sighed, staring out the window. You wanted to go out, but the city was crowded, busy with all the couples wandering around town.
You hated that the idea of walking around alone on Valentines Day made you feel bad, it shouldn't, there as nothing wrong with it, you knew that. But you couldn't seem to leave the house anyways.
It had been years since you last celebrated Valentines Day, and you had to admit, you kind of missed it. You liked that there was a holiday were you could be more romantic than normal, be more cheesy than normal, and it didn't come off as weird.
You didn't mind being single, but there were parts of being in a relationship that you missed. The dates, the inside-jokes, the intimacy.
Without meaning it to, you suddenly thought of Shang-Chi. You wondered what he was doing right now.
Did he have a date? No, he would have told you about that. Wouldn't he?
You felt your chest clench. Even if he did, you wouldn't want to hear about it.
When Valentines Day approached, you couldn't ignore the daydream of him finally asking you out. Confirming if he had feelings for you once and for all. Finally telling you if those times you caught him staring at you, or the jealousy he seemed to show when guys hit on you were all signs he had feelings for you.
But it was now Valentines Day, and he hadn't said a peep. He hadn't even brought it up at all.
Looking over at a set of drawers in your living room, you thought of the gift you bought him that was now shoved away in the drawer. You hoped you would be able to give it to him today, but it didn't seem like it was going to happen. You figured you'd save it, maybe until his birthday.
A few days before when you were with Shang-Chi, you tried to naturally bring up the topic of Valentines Day.
You were passing a flower shop and you pointed out all the flowers. Pointing to a guy buying yellow carnations.
"Yikes." You whispered out.
"What?" Shang-Chi asked.
"Yellow carnations, bad idea."
"Why?"
"They mean rejection and disappointment"
Shang-Chi looked back over at the man and frowned "Let's hope whoever he's buying them for doesn't know that."
You chuckled before pointing at yellow roses "Those are often meant as a symbol of friendship, but often mean infidelity and jealousy, and used to be used as a symbol of betrayal and separation. Wouldn't wanna buy those for your Valentine either."
He chuckled "How do you know all this?"
You shrugged "One of my first jobs in high-school was working part-time in a flower shop. I loved learning about all the secret meanings behind them."
He grinned at you and your heart fluttered. You loved when he looked at you like that.
Walking over to one of the flower-shop workers, you picked a single flower and bought it. Shang-Chi watched you with curiosity.
Walking back over to him, you handed him a sunflower.
He took it gently and met your eyes "What does this mean?"
You smiled "Friendship"
Though sunflowers could be associated with friendship. Their truer meaning was that of loyalty, adoration and pure love, but you didn't feel brave enough to say that.
You were shaken from your thoughts as you heard your doorbell ring. Humming in curiosity at the sudden visitor, you walked to the door and peaked through the peep-hole. Seeing Shang-Chi in the hall, you felt your heart skip a beat.
What was he doin here?
Opening the door, you tried to hide your surprise with a smile "Shang-Chi, hey!" You said cheerfully.
He grinned at you "Hey."
"What's up?"
He shrugged as he lifted up a bag from your favorite food-spot "I thought I might stop by to see if you were hungry."
Your chest was tight as butterflies raged through your stomach. "How do you always know when I'm hungry?" You joked.
He shrugged his head and smiled "Friend intuition."
As you stepped aside, Shang-Chi walked in and made his way to the kitchen. You watched him for a moment as you tried to steady your breath. You wondered if he remembered today was Valentines Day, or if it had slipped his mind entirely.
Taking out the food, you and Shang-Chi fell into a familiar pattern. Sitting across from each other at the kitchen island, dividing the food and talking about your day. But you noticed Shang-Chi had an odd demeanor around him. You watched him closely as he picked at his food.
Looking up he caught you and froze for a second "What?"
You set down your fork and stared at him for a moment "Something's wrong."
He sat up a bit as he looked around at the food "What, did I forget something?"
You shook your head "I mean with you, your all fidgety, like you can't sit still, what's going on?"
Shang-Chi opened his mouth as if to defend himself, but he paused before taking in a deep breath and letting it out. Tapping the kitchen island a few times, you watched as he stood up and made his way towards the door.
"Shang-Chi?" You asked as you stood up. Was he leaving? Did you do something to upset him?
Shang-Chi opened the door and stepped out, but left your door open. You stood still as you watched him round the corner before he appeared again. Your breath caught in your throat as he held a bouquet of flowers in his hands.
He seemed nervous as he closed the door and walked up to you. As he handed you the flowers, you were speechless.
Finally finding your words, you spoke softly, "What are these for?" You knew, but you need to hear it.
"Valentines Day."
You met his eyes, and everything you wanted to ask came out in only one word "Why?"
Slowly, he pointed out each type of flower and spoke softly "Light red carnations for affection, pink peonies for attraction and passion, and primrose...meaning 'I can't live without you', and-" he pointed to a single sunflower in the middle of the bouquet "-adoration and pure-"
"-love." You finished for him as you slowly met his eyes.
He shrugged his head softly as he smiled shyly "After you gave me that sunflower, I looked it up, I knew you had to know all the meanings. And I hoped, that- that it meant you felt the same as me. So, I spent all night researching various flowers and then all morning finding the right bouquet to give you."
You gently ran your fingers over the flowers "The same as you?" You said in a whisper. Did that mean, what you had hoped he felt, was right?
He tilted his head as he looked at you "Do you?" He asked, a subtle hint of fear in his voice.
You nodded your head as smile played at your lips "Yes."
His smile grew into a grin as you saw him relax a bit.
Suddenly remembering the gift you got him, you stood up straighter "Oh!"
Shang-Chi watched as you went over to the drawer and pulled something out. Bringing it over to him, you had suddenly become a bit more shy as you handed it to him.
"I saw this and thought of you."
He took it gently from you as he smiled, surprised that you had anything for him. Opening it, he saw a stone beaded bracelet in various colors.
"It's jade, tigers eye and onyx." You said softly.
He smiled as he lifted it up, feeling the smooth stones in his fingers. He met your eyes again "I love it."
You smiled, warmth crawling over your face.
"When did you get this?" He asked curiously.
You laughed softly "A few days ago. I wanted to give it to you today, but I wasn't sure if...well."
"If I felt the same?" He finished and you chucked.
"Yeah."
Sliding the bracelet onto his wrist, he set the box down before taking the flowers from you. Setting them aside, he turned to look at you again and let out a soft breath as he shook his head.
"I hate that it took me so long to say anything."
You shook your head softly "It wasn't just you, I didn't say anything either."
He took a step closer to you and took your hands in his "Either way, we shouldn't waste anymore time, right?"
You smiled "Right."
"Ever since we became friends, I knew I loved you. You were my person. I just didn't realize how deep it all really was."
"You're my person to Shang-Chi."
Gripping your hand a bit tighter, he slowly pulled you closer to him. Your chests touched as his free hand rested on your waist. Your noses brushed gently as he stared into your eyes.
"I really don't think I can live without you, you know."
You smiled softly, he really did feel everything you did.
"Ditto."
He grinned before he pressed his forehead against your softly. You closed your eyes and took in a breath embracing how close he was. Your heart seemed to stutter in your chest as you felt his lips brush yours. You held your breath and kept your eyes shut as you felt his lips press fully against yours.
Leaning into the kiss, as you felt electricity seem to flow through you, your gripped his jacket with your hand. His hand wrapped around your back as he pulled you closer.
Various emotions and feelings rushed through you, as you held onto each other. And it all felt perfect, it all felt right.
xx End xx
I really hate ending fics, it never feels natural lol. I hoped you enjoyed though~
General Taglist: @criminaly-supernatural, @imaginesfire @rexit-mo, @onuen, @witchygagirl, @alexxavicry
Marvel/Shang-Chi Taglists: @aquariuslavenderhoney, @trashywritestrash, @groovy-lady, @marvelouslyme96, @supersourlemon13, @mochamoff, @simsiddy, @gay-and-ready-to-cry, @flourishandblotts-inc, @spuffyfan394, @agent-catfish-kenobi, @cs-please, @soultrysworld, @a-lumos-in-the-nox, @creativitybeware, @that-marvel-simp, @gatefleet, @skylions-den, @dominos-palast, @pockyandme,
411 notes · View notes
aresverse · 1 year
Text
MORE THAN YOU’LL EVER KNOW
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ Christian Pulisic x Reader
Genre: Fluff
Summary: Although your relationship with Christian was fairly new, you didn’t want to go a single moment without letting him know how much you care about him.
testing the waters with posting fics on here, just want to see how it goes! so, if you enjoy, thank you :).
I do not own this gif.
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“No, that doesn’t look right.” You murmured, sighing in frustration quietly as you tried to rearrange the pillows and blankets that you gathered on the floor.
The lights were shut off, with the only source of brightness coming from the scented candles that you had finally lit, filling the room with an incomparable ambiance that you’d hope would relax Christian and ease him into being back home after the World Cup. He informed you hours prior that his flight would landing soon, and though he didn’t let you know when he’d be home, you had a hunch that it was any time now, leaving you to worry about the presentation of your surprise.
The pillows and blankets you took from upstairs now laid neatly on the wood floor, as you create your own version of fort, seeing that you were pressed for time. Beyond the scent of the candle followed the dinner that sat on the stove, cooking on low heat, but you could smell the spices even in the living room. You grabbed the remote, quickly opening the Disney+ app on the television, and searched for the only movie that you couldn’t get Christian to not talk about any hour of the day.
Despite the fact that the two of you had only been dating for three months, it felt longer. Even though the distance liked to interfere, Christian never stopped it from getting in the middle of your relationship, and in all that time, it only brought you closer. He was an open book, the kind to bare it all with nothing to hide, and you found out more about him than you thought you would; beyond how he liked to sleep, but the little things that could turn his day around in an instant if he was unhappy, what made him tick, but also what made him feel loved.
Once you had gotten the living room set up, a smile tugged at your lips, relieved that the stressful part was over. Just as you had finished setting the plates, carefully portioning his plate to his liking as you remembered, and set them down onto the coffee table, you could hear the key to his front door being inserted and the locks shifting. You quickly rubbed your hands off on your pants before walking to the door as fast as you could, wanting him to see you first before anything else.
The front door opened, and the smile on your face never faltered, only growing larger as you were finally face-to-face with him. Christian didn’t skip a beat, quickly pulling you into his arms as he murmured about how much he missed you. His hands laid at the small of your back, nose nuzzling against yours before his lips fell onto your lips, moving passionately.
“I missed you so much.” Christian breathed against your lips, his lips pressing another soft peck onto yours before pulling away to look at you. “You look beautiful, baby.”
He smiled at how coy you reacted, your head falling into his chest. “Stop making me blush.” You muffled against his sweater. His index finger tucked underneath your chin, lifting your head up just to shake his head at you, mouthing a clear “no”.
The two of you walked further into his home, only until he stopped in his tracks at the sight of the living room, looking back at you then back after noticing what you had done. “Surprise!” You beamed, the grin on your face larger than the last as you took his hand in yours.
“You did this for me?” Christian questioned in shock, taking slow steps forward as he looked at the blankets and pillows on the ground, the delicious home cooked meal that he couldn’t wait to scarf down, and the Monster’s Inc. movie that was waiting for him to press play on. With only a nod from you, he couldn’t resist pulling you into his arms again, a loving embrace this time. Soft thank you’s emitting from his lips over and over again, and you could feel the tension release from his body the more you held him.
You pulled away from him, your thumb rubbing against his cheekbone as you felt that twist of admiration in your stomach that you always did whenever you looked at him. Your nod was soft, as were your eyes that he was always utterly mesmerized from. “You deserved to come back home to something special, Chris.” You softly said, almost as if it was no big deal, knowing that he deserved to be treated like this always and how much things like this meant to him. The three letter words danced around your tongue, too soon to say it, but you hoped that he felt it.
You guided him to the ground, beckoning him to press him play so the two of you could eat, but he was still in disbelief. You lightly pressed a kiss on his cheek, unable to contain the quiet laughter that released from your lips as you pressed play for him. Even as he ate and watched the movie, even as he settled down with his back against the couch and his tattooed arm around you, all he could do is look down at you with loving eyes—those three letter words hammering in his head this time again, more than you’ll ever know.
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fortheloveofwonderland · 11 months
Note
Another one? Yes, another one!!!!
I wish that we could save today, but I know we can’t stay the same. And I keep pushing you away, don’t wait for me - Home is Such a Lonely Place by Blink 182
With Spencer! Thanks and congrats again!!!!
Hello again! This one was cute, set post s15.
Home is Such a Lonely Place
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Spencer Reid x Fem! Reader
Summary - you and Spencer’s whirlwind romance comes to an abrupt end when you both get job offers in different countries. But home is just too lonely for him to bear without you.
CW - angst, break ups, tears, sad goodbyes, meet cutes.
WC - 2.2k
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As far as days went, today was just about perfect in Spencer Reid’s world. Before long it would become some distant memory, forgotten seconds by your side. 
It would become just another day in the story book of his life but he tried to catalogue every single inconsequential touch, every sidelong glance. He had to preserve these moments because after tomorrow there would be no more moments to have. 
Spencer had loved you since the moment he laid eyes on you eight months ago in line for coffee at his favourite cafe. You’d both reached for the same sugar packet but when you’d smiled at him, the simple gesture was sweet enough and he’d allowed you to take it. 
What had followed had been a whirlwind romance. 
Spencer had left the BAU a few months prior to meeting you to teach full time, which gave him evenings and weekends free to spend with you. And the two of you did spend every possible second together. More seconds he hoped wouldn’t become forgotten. 
You’d fallen head over heels for each other. You never officially moved in with him, you still had your own apartment, but you honestly couldn’t remember the last time you’d been back there. 
It had been the most incredible tornado of emotions, the likes of which neither of you had ever experienced before. He’d told you early on he had every intention of marrying you one day, and you couldn’t think of anything you wanted to do more in the world. 
But fate had other ideas. 
In the space of just one week, two things happened that altered the trajectory of your relationship. Firstly you got offered a job of a lifetime, one in which you’d worked your whole life towards. 
You’d screamed and jumped up and down, throwing yourself giddily into Spencer’s arms the second you hung up the phone but the euphoria was tragically short lived. 
Your dream job, the one you’d worked so hard for, was in London. 
Spencer hadn’t skipped a beat before telling you he’d come with you. He loved you and wanted to spend the rest of his life with you, he wasn’t letting you go. 
You’d started to cry when he cupped your face and smiled at you as he whispered, “let’s move to London, my love.” 
For three days the two of you had excitedly started to plan your future across the pond, where you’d live, where Spencer would work. Where your future hypothetical children could go to school.
But then on the third day, Spencer received a call. 
He’d been tapped by the bureau for a special assignment, for which he wasn’t at liberty to tell you much about. His initial reaction had been to decline, nothing was more important to him than your life in London. 
But you’d seen the way he winced ever so slightly every time he talked about turning it down. You saw the way his previous elation over your move dampened day by day. 
You realised for the first time just how much Spencer missed the FBI. So as much as it killed you to think of your life without him in it, you convinced him to stay. 
You both had your own dreams and sadly, they didn’t overlap. 
You had a few months until your move and so even if it hurt more in the long run, you and Spencer spent every moment together you could, creating the last few memories you’d ever have together. 
He held you tighter in that time, but never enough to hold you back. 
Today was your last day together. Tomorrow you would board a flight to London and who knows when you’d be back, if you ever were. 
Spencer created the perfect last day, spent hours planning all the places he wanted to take you but you never ended up even leaving his apartment. 
You spent the majority of the day in each other's arms, commiting to your minds exactly how the other felt, how they smelt. It was all so bittersweet but you wouldn’t change a second of it. 
He loved the lightning, the crashes of electricity he felt when you were close by. But the rain that was rolling in, the rain that followed when you left; he hated that. 
Tomorrow was frightening. But not today. 
He wanted to slow down time, enjoy every minute of this. But never enough that it would slow you down. 
When he suddenly got up, letting go of his grip on you and pacing his living room, you watched him curiously. You took in his frame, every dip and curve of him even though it was shielded by his wrinkled shirt and slacks. 
You etched in your heart the way his curls fell down his neck, around his face. You captured his slightly furrowed brow, sharp jawline and cracked lips, filed it all away in the Spencer Reid photo album that lived deep in your soul. 
He stopped pacing and looked at you, the weight of it all clear on his features. 
“I think that…” he trailed off with a shaky sigh. “I think that maybe you should go.” 
You frowned at him, pushing yourself up to your feet. 
“I thought the plan was for me to stay and you were going to take me to the airport in the morning?” 
“Yeah well, plans change, don’t they?” He snapped much harsher than he’d meant to. 
You pouted at his tone, wrapping your arms around your waist and shying away from him. 
“Wow,” you choked. “Ok then.” 
You turned your back on him towards the bedroom where your bags were and started towards it. 
Spencer shook his head at his own stupidity and quickly hurried after you. 
“Y/N, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.” His long, nimble fingers encased your wrist and he gently tugged you back to him. “I just…I wish that we could save today. But I know we can’t stay the same. And pushing you away…it seemed like it would hurt less.” 
His eyes were misted over with tears and he kept his hold on you, terrified to let you go. 
“Maybe I should go.” You shrugged. 
“No, please don’t.” He shook his head frantically. 
“I think it’s best. It’s never going to hurt any less Spencer but prolonging the pain is making it worse.” A tear escaped your eye as you saw the understanding wash over him. 
He wanted to fight it. He wanted to spend every single second you had left together but he knew you were right. He let go of you and raised his arms up to aggressively rub his eyes. 
“I knew this would be hard but I didn’t realise just how much it would hurt.” He swallowed. “I feel like someone’s carved out my heart.”
You whimpered a little at his words, taking a step closer to him and cupping his cheeks in your hands. You brushed your fingers over the contours of his face, hoping the feeling of him would help you remember. 
“Me too, Spence.” You agreed. “I need you to promise me something.” 
“Anything.” He nodded. 
“Promise me you won’t wait for me.” 
His own tears broke free and suddenly started cascading from his eyes and you wiped them away with your thumbs. 
“I don’t know if I can promise you that.” He whined. 
“You have to.” You sniffed. “Don’t wait for me, Spence.” 
Before he could argue with you, you pressed your lips gently against his, tasting his tears as you kissed him. It was fleeting, it had to be. You’d come to learn all the best things were. 
You let go of his face and stepped backwards and he didn’t try to stop you when you went to walk to the bedroom. 
He also didn’t try to stop you when you headed back out with your bags. As you passed him, you placed a lingering kiss on his cheek before continuing to the front door. 
And again he didn’t stop you when you opened it. 
As you stepped into the corridor you turned back to him and smiled at him through your tears. 
“I’ll always love you, Spencer Reid.” 
“I’ll always love you too.” He replied, his voice cracking with each word. 
He watched you leave, his heart feeling as though it was physically shattering inside his chest even though he knew that wasn’t possible. 
Looking around his apartment he suddenly hated this place. The place he’d called home for so many years no longer felt like his safe haven. 
It felt like the moon was spinning off into outer space without you. The universe an empty place without you. This room was such a lonely place now you’d gone. 
And he wasn’t sure he’d ever bounce back from a loss so great. 
***
If you didn’t take into account your broken heart, London was everything you’d dreamed of and more. 
Work kept you busy enough that during the days you were able to cast all thoughts of your lost love from your mind. But it was at night that all of those memories came flooding back to the surface. 
You tried to keep focused on your job, on figuring out a new routine and creating a new normal for yourself; one that didn’t include Spencer Reid. 
You engrossed yourself in the little, trivial things. The fastest route to your office, the nicest parks to read in on the weekend and most importantly, where you could find the best coffee on your morning commute. 
You explored a new coffee shop every single day but so far nothing compared to that little cafe in DC where you’d reached for a sugar packet one morning and your whole world had changed. Perhaps you never would find one that lived up to those expectations. 
Nearly three weeks after your relocation you left early one morning to check out a cafe a little out of your normal route. According to Google it was one of the most highly rated coffee shops in the area. 
You allowed yourself to feel something akin to excitement as you pushed open the door of the bustling little artisan shop. If you could find the perfect cafe for your morning pick me up, maybe it would go some way to help repair your broken heart. 
You ordered your usual vanilla latte and as soon it was handed to you made your way over to the stand in the corner for some sugar. 
And as you reached for the little packet you were awash with deja vu as your fingers brushed against those of another. 
When you looked up and your eyes met his deep hazel orbs, your whole world stopped turning on its axis. 
He was offering you the most beautiful smile you’d ever seen, and in that moment you felt your heart start to piece itself back together. 
“I read online that this was one of the best coffee shops in all of London.” He spoke, a hint of whimsy in his tone. “But, uh, I have also tried another five highly rated coffee places in as many days and they didn’t stack up. This one though…this one has potential.” 
You exhaled a shaky breath, eyes clouding over with tears, feeling as though you must be hallucinating because surely this wasn’t real. 
“You’ve been here for five days?” Your voice trembled. 
“A week actually.” Spencer grinned at you, fingers still brushing against your own. 
“Why didn’t you just call?” 
“This is far more romantic, don’t you think?” His eyes danced playfully and he dared to slip his hand in yours. 
“I…I don’t understand what’s happening.” You felt like all the air had left your lungs. Everything else going on around you faded away. 
“I called the bureau, the day you left actually. I turned down the special assignment, told them I left the FBI for a reason and I wasn’t prepared to come back. Then I spoke to the university and some strings were pulled but they managed to secure me a job. In London. I would have been here sooner but between zoom interviews and selling my apartment…but I’m here now.” He squeezed your hand, trying to prove to you he was actually here. 
“You… you’re here? For real?” A tear rolled from your eye and Spencer was quick to cup your face and wipe it away. 
“I’m here for real. And for good. Or at least as long as you're here.” 
“I…I don’t even know what to say.” A few more tears fell but Spencer brushed away every one. 
“Say you’ve got room in your apartment for a guy who gave up everything to be with you? And his books, the books need a home too.” 
“You’re insane.” You chuckled through your tears and Spencer laughed too.
“Maybe so,” he edged closer to you until you could feel his breath fan across your face. “But I couldn’t make it a few hours in my apartment with you gone. Home is such a lonely place without you, so let’s make a new one here?” 
You didn’t have the words to express quite what all of this meant to you and you knew you didn’t need them. Instead of speaking, you closed the gap between you and pressed your lips to his. 
Spencer immediately held you tightly, kissing you back with yearning and knowing for a fact that he would never spend another day away from you as long he lived. 
Home was such a lonely place without you, but he didn’t plan on finding that out again. 
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Let Your Dreams Be Your Wings | Chapter 4
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Chapters: 4/? Fandom: The Sandman (Netflix 2022, minor content from the Comics) Rating: Explicit Relationships Dream of the Endless/Morpheus x F!Reader Characters: Dream of the Endless/Morpheus, Lucienne, Matthew the Raven, Mervyn Pumpkinhead, Hob Gadling, Death, Rose Walker, The Corinthian, other minor Sandman characters, Original Characters. Warnings: 18+ content (upcoming, minors DNI), explicit sexual content, POV switching, very long chapters to read. Summary: You always dreamed of becoming a successful Fashion Designer, sharing your creations with the world and making your father proud. But with him being very ill and so many costs solely weighting on your shoulders, things didn’t go as planned and you had to take a different path instead. An interesting offer led you to the elder Alex Burgess and you were hired as a new housemaid for a very good pay. However, your kindness and outstanding empathy convinced the man to give you an additional task for a doubled compensation; gaining the trust of Dream Of the Endless, held captive into the basement for over a century. Despite the shock of finding such an ethereal entity stripped of all his clothes and contained into a confined space, you had to accept for the sake of your father. But the more you got to speak to the mysterious anthropomorphic personification who didn't utter a single word, the more you were lost into his eyes that, conversely, seemed to contain the entire universe. A deep connection formed between the two of you, separated only by a thick layer of glass.
Little did you know, what started like a simple housemaid job was about to change your life forever.
Credits: The moon dividers were made by firefly-graphics.
Note: I had to split the chapter in two parts because it was getting way too long, so I'm posting Chapter 4 and 5 at once!
I also wrote something that you may recognize if you listened to the Dreamcast tracks on Spotify!
WARNING: This chapter includes an attempted assult with some minor physical consequences due to what it led to! It's actually nothing major and Reader will be totally fine, but if you get triggered by this sort of stuff, feel free to skip that part the moment you reach it!
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Chapter 4
You fell in love with a God. What could possibly go wrong?
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Another month had quickly passed and it felt like it had gone by the blink of an eye.
You would find yourself heading down the basement whenever your work schedule permitted it, growing more and more fond of Dream of The Endless despite his well known stoic presence and the one-sided conversations. The sense of companionship made you feel a little less lonely each time you visited, there was never a feeling of boredom or irritation coming from his stillness and it was a comfort to be around him even in the silence.
Unfortunately, it was also foreseeable that Mr. Burgess would call for you in his study at that given time.
You walked up to the door with slow, almost dragged footsteps. You took a deep breath as Mr. McGuire opened it for you, leading you into the antique room filled with more relics from the past and a set of wooden furniture that perfectly matched with the rest of the house.
Inside, Mr. Burgess was sitting on his large leather chair behind a mahogany desk and you began to feel the weight of the pressure that was now resting on your shoulders.
Mr. McGuire walked to his husband to gently lay a hand on the back of his neck, the tension within the room was palpable, creating an atmosphere of solemnity. You could feel Mr. Burgess’s eyes on you from across the study and you went rigid the moment he finally spoke. “Miss Y/LN, thank you for coming. Please have a seat.”
As you sat in the chair facing your employers, Mr. McGuire gave you a reassuring smile. You could barely return his comforting gesture with his husband’s cold gaze intensifyng your anxiety.
Despite this, you ignored the trembling in your hands and maintained a composed demeanor.
“I am sure you know why I called you here,” he said. “Pressuring you is not in my intentions, but you’ve been talking to Dream of The Endless for quite some time, even more so recently. I was wondering if you might have some… good news to share with me?”
Mr. Burgess wanted a statement of assurance from Dream that he would not seek revenge if they decided to release him. However, you were unable to offer that as Dream had not spoken once, also at your request. Though Mr. Burgess was providing The Endless with an opportunity, it seemed to also function as a bargaining tool in much the same way his father conducted business before him.
Their safety was of paramount importance, but it was unacceptable that Dream was still locked into the cellar for his silence. While he could not guarantee they’d be left unharmed, what Mr. Burgess was giving him was a cruel and unfair ultimatum that violated The Endless’s rights. Over the course of his century-long incarceration, Dream had been forced to undergo immense emotional suffering. He deserved to receive his freedom with no exceptions and yet it wasn’t happening because of an old man’s whim.
It was risky, yes, but what would the alternative be?
You straightened your back. “Well, he trusts me enough to accept my presence and handle my boring speeches almost every day. You have to let him go, Mr. Burgess. There’s no reason to still keep him where he is.”
The man didn’t respond, so you continued. “I’m sure it’s going to be okay, if you do so.”
Mr. Burgess took a few calming breaths to ensure he maintained his composure. Mr. McGuire gently placed a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it while looking at you in a supportive way.
“So, he didn’t tell you anything at all?”
You gritted your teeth. “No Sir, nothing.”
“No progress, then. Just as I feared.”
You sighed heavily, unfiltered statements were delivered (in)voluntarily. “You didn’t receive a single answer from him in over 80 years of try. Did it not occur to you that maybe he can’t even speak, or doesn’t really want to for obvious reasons? And even if he did, you can’t be so sure he wouldn’t just say what you want to hear. People would do anything when they’re desperate, Mr. Burgess. Even Gods, I’m sure.”
The man rubbed his forehead in frustration. “Yes… yes you’re right, of course. But, you see… the guards have told me the way he reacts whenever you’re around. Based on this fact I was thinking…”
“You were thinking you were finally close to get what you were hoping for.” Your frustration had returned with great intensity. “Don’t you think it is time to give him the freedom he deserves? Didn’t he suffer long enough?”
He considered your suggestion with thoughtfulness, then responded. "I guess.”
You knew there was a ‘but’ coming.
“But,” Called it. “it’s not me I am worried about, Miss Y/LN. Paul and anyone else involved in this matter, if not the entire house, might suffer from my inconsiderate decision. Even you.”
You clenched your fists and your knuckles turned white. You found it difficult to keep the anger at bay as it seemed to be mounting with each breath you took.
“How much do you know about Dream of The Endless, Mr. Burgess?” You asked.
“Enough to say that his power could possibly doom us all.”
“Exactly, possibly. Which means it could also go differently.”
The air around you seemed to be growing thicker and thicker by the second.
“Sir, I understand your concern. But the longer you keep him trapped into that bowl, the higher the risk for you, or us, will be. I honestly do not see how you could make it better this way.”
The potential consequences Dream’s power could cause were indeed an alarming possibility, but would he really wipe the entire mansion out of existence without batting an eye? While it remained unclear just how far such power could reach in fruition, you were confident that his capabilities would never result in a widespread destruction.
“Miss Y/LN,” Mr. Burgess’s voice was sharp like a razor. “You would tell me if he talked to you, right?”
‘Of course not.’
“Of course.”
Mr. McGuire called for his husband’s attention with a subtle throat-clearing gesture. “Come on darling, there’s no need to be hasty. She’s trying… and she did a better job than we could manage in such a long time.”
You stared back at Mr. Burgess with equal fervor, but the man appeared more relaxed after his husband’s words. “Yes, okay.” He removed his glasses to massage the fatigue from his eyes. “My apologies, Miss Y/LN. Please keep up the good work.”
Mr. McGuire was an invaluable presence in the workplace. He had consistently shown you great kindness and support, his level of patience and understanding was incomparable. He was greatly contributing to a welcoming environment even at the most difficult times and you were really grateful for it.
You forced a smile, slightly bowed your head in respect and politely said your goodbyes. As you stepped out of the study and the door shut behind you, their muffled voices resumed the conversation and carried on in your absence, but you were too disheartened to try and listen in.
With another long and deep sigh you continued walking, shaking off that hideous feeling from your chest and knowing for certain now that any form of persuasion would end up failing with someone as stubborn as Mr. Burgess.
What were you even thinking? Of course it wouldn’t be easy. 106 years did absolutely nothing to convince the man that leaving Dream imprisoned to the bitter end was not the right way to guarantee a prosperous future to his family. Clearly, speaking from the heart had proven to also be ineffective.
Dream needed help and the only solution seemed to be unconventional. Despite your reflective thought and effort, no plan presented itself except for direct action. You racked your brain over it, but anything that wouldn’t involve you smashing the glass to pull him out seemed futile and a waste of time you didn’t have the heart to invest into, for his sake.
They say that when all other options have been exhausted and no alternatives remain viable, a last resort may be the only remaining choice. Your entire working career may have depended on that choice, as sabotaging one of your employer’s “possessions” would have been counterproductive for your Resume.
You didn’t want to resort to taking an unfavorable path, but ensuring that Dream was released from captivity had become your own personal quest. You had multiple responsibilities to attend to and many pressing issues to prioritize, but you were also risking to neglect the most critical aspects of your life while juggling too many things at once and allowing your feelings to get the best of you.
As the days went on, it became increasingly difficult to control them. Thoughts of Dream occupied your mind constantly and you would often zone out while in the middle of a conversation or activity at work. His captivating eyes, full lips and one-of-a-kind aura simply left you spellbound.
You were falling in love with a being who wasn’t quite a man, drawn to an otherworldly creature who would never truly be yours. You knew you were setting yourself up for heartbreak, but you welcomed the joy and exhilaration of being in his presence despite the inevitable pain that laid ahead.
For as long as you could.
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Paul McGuire walked down a long hallway, past the various rooms and relaxation areas the house had to offer. He was looking out the windows to admire the beautiful colors of the sunset sky, but he came to a halt when his attention was quickly taken by your working figure in the garden.
You were wearing your outer suit consisting of light-colored jeans, sneakers, a short-sleeved shirt and a sweater that was carefully tied around your waist. He studied your activity as you planted a new batch of seeds, occasionally brushing a few strands of hair out of the way. Dirt and moss soaked into your clothes and your bare hands sank into the ground. Paul couldn’t help but smile, reminiscing about his days as a gardener. Your fingers smoothly glided through the grains of topsoil, memories filling his own nostrils with the scent of wet earth and fresh grass. He never was one to shy away from hard work, tending to orchards and vineyards, chopping wood in the blazing sun or in the midst of violent storms. The physical exertion of those tasks never frightened him, whether it meant breaking a sweat or braving the freezing rain. He was always up to the challenge, taking pride in his ability to push himself to his limits.
Alex often watched him while pretending to read a book, barely knowing the written summary or the title itself. It was fun, nothing short of invigorating and thrilling, creating a sense of excitement and joy that was hard to ignore.
You stood up from the ground, brushing the dirt off your hands and ensuring that the seeds were ready to grow. With that task complete, you moved to the bushes in front of you that appeared to need a bit of trimming.
Paul noticed that you had a preference for spending your day outdoors instead of doing your work inside the house, but he also observed that you approached each job with the same level of dedication, performing to the best of your abilities. Your punctuality and willingness to take on even the most difficult assignment did not go unnoticed by him. He admired your unwavering commitment to your goals and the sacrifices you were making to achieve them with tenacity and ambition.
At the same time, he felt a pang of sadness at the thought of such an extraordinary woman potentially giving up a better future for herself. From the moment you first stepped into their house, Paul was struck by your beauty, bravery, intelligence and compassion. You exuded those qualities in everything you did and he found himself enjoying your presence more and more each passing day.
If he had a daughter, he would have wished for her to possess the same spirit and good heart.
As he walked on, Paul could hear the guards chattering outside the basement. You were justified in disliking those two, given how often they seemed to slack off and treat their job so unprofessionally. Upon his arrival, they immediatly reverted from their relaxed and carefree behavior to their vigilant conduct. They regained their composure, but the embarrassment for having been caught was evident when they greeted him, lowering their heads in defeat.
Paul nodded, allowing them a brief respite before beginning the night shift in the next hour. He swiftly opened the metal door once the guards departed, proceeding towards the elevator and discending into the damp depths of the cellar without hesitation.
Dream was as still as a statue and in the same sitting position that Paul had found him in when he first went to the basement. The man felt apprehensive seeing Dream’s meneacing frown as he stepped onto the platform, the only recourse left open was for him to try and fix his own mistakes.
“Hello Dream,” he said with a smile, which the Endless plainly overlooked. He gazed at Paul inquisitively, his being there alone without Alex was an unusual event none of them ever experienced before. “I know… I’m not exactly the one you where hoping to see.”
Dream averted his gaze out of resentment.
“I’m not here to ask you to talk, I just want you to listen to what I have to say.”
Dream’s eyes seemed to reflect a sense of weariness, the lines on his face told a story of their own, each one representing a struggle he had faced and overcome. Although he managed to keep his head held high throughout it all, the weight of his experiences was heavy on his mind.
“Alex is a broken man, ruined by the cruelty of a father who left a deep scar into his soul.”
Dream’s fists clenched tightly and his eyes blazed with a fiery intensity.
“I should have tried harder to convince him the first time, but I let him handle it the way he wanted. I should have also freed you myself when I realized he wouldn’t do it, but I just allowed this to consume the both of you because I wasn’t brave enough to stop him. I chickened out whenever I felt like taking matters into my hands and I failed him, just like I failed you.”
Paul’s voice was laced with sorrow, regret and guilt poured out of him as he spoke. He had let fear and indecision hold him back for his lover’s sake, to the detriment of Dream who saw his freedom further denied and stripped away.
“Y/N had nothing to do with this. Alex involved her out of desperation and that poor girl is really trying hard for you. She wants your freedom more than anything else now.”
Dream moved ever so slightly hearing your name and Paul noticed it. “You like her.”
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Dream adverted the man’s gaze once again. Paul interpreted the silence that followed as the confirmation he was looking for.
“She won’t be here forever, Dream. She deserves better than the whole ordeal she’s been dragged into.”
He had witnessed first-hand the debilitating effects of consumption and mental exhaustion on his husband. Despite the presence of Dream, which kept them alive for an extended period of time, the toll on his partner's physical and mental health had been significant.
Paul had noticed that you were intentionally disregarding Alex’s wishes and doing what you believed was best for Dream. You were traveling between Whych Cross and the city every week to check on your father, in addition to managing the stress and anxiety caused by the Endless's situation while overworking yourself around the estate. Paul was concerned that you were pushing yourself too hard, risking your well-being for something you shouldn't have discovered to begin with.
He sighed. “I am at fault, too. I begged her to do as he asked and forced the pills into her hands. I don’t expect you to forgive me, what my husband did to you is undoubtedly wrong and I went along with it.”
The sound of his voice was like a dam breaking, unleashing years of hidden guilt and suffocated pain. Every word he spoke was filled with the weight of his suffering, a burden he had carried for far too long by himself. It was as though he had been holding back a flood of emotions, now pouring out in a torrent of raw and unfiltered truths.
”Maybe I was afraid to admit it to myself, but I realized that I owe you at least an apology.”
Dream wasn't looking at him, but the man could tell he was listening. Paul knew that apologizing for 106 years of confinement was not enough to solve the problem, but he hoped that Dream could at least understand where he was coming from. Paul's ultimate goal was to find a meeting point with him to put an end to that madness once and for all without having to involve someone else in the futrure.
“Seeing how strongly she cares about you, you could say that Y/N kind of inspired me.”
Your dedication towards Dream had motivated Paul to become a better person. The passion and affection you had for the Endless reminded him of his youth, when he would gaze at Alex from afar and lose himself into his own fantasies. Your feelings were infectious and Paul couldn’t help but be drawn to them. He began to approach life with a renewed sense of purpose and he wanted to live his remaining years with the man he loved without any string attached to their necks.
“If it comes to that, I assure you, this time I will take care of it myself.”
Dream pressed his lips into a pout and lowered his eyes once more. Paul knew the risks that could come with his release, but at that point in his life, he was willing to face them without cowardly running away. The alternative was not any better; his husband was already doomed and drained by something that had always been too overwhelming for him to handle. Paul weighed his options, and despite understanding the fallout he could cause, he was still willing to take the chance at the right time.
Paul didn’t want that responsibility to fall on you.
With his eyes filled with fear and determination, he turned on his heels and left the Endless in the familiar silence and coldness of the cellar that had sucked him in for over a century.
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As you walked towards your old bookshelf, a sense of excitement built inside you. Your father was lying comfortably on the couch, wrapped in a soft blanket and holding a warm cup of tea.
The bookshelf held many stories of adventures, tales of love and lessons of life. All those books had shaped, taught and inspired you countless times, undoubtedly becoming a part of you. You could almost hear the characters whispering, inviting you to join them on their journey once again.
However, your attention was focused on just one story that day.
“Are you looking for something in particular?” Your father asked.
“Do you remember the book you used to read to me when I was a child?”
“Ah, the King of Dreams? You loved that one!”
You inspected the books with eager eyes. “I thought I took it with me when I moved out, but I can’t find it anywhere. Perhaps I left it here?”
“I can’t say. It’s been a long time since I last went through those books and we've added so many over the years.”
The bookshelf was a treasure trove of memories, a portal to different worlds and a reminder of the person you used to be. Your father's presence was comforting and you could feel his warm gaze on you as you picked up one book after another, just like the old times.
As you knelt down to check the last books on the third row, you noticed one that had fallen behind and become wedged between the wall and the stack in front of it. With caution, you carefully removed it from the tight space, breathing a sigh of relief when you realized it was the volume you had been looking for.
As you brushed your fingers over the title, more memories of your childhood came flooding back at once.
𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓢𝓪𝓷𝓭𝓶𝓪𝓷: 𝓐 𝓣𝓪𝓵𝓮 𝓸𝓯 𝓓𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓶𝓼 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓝𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽𝓶𝓪𝓻𝓮𝓼
Your father noticed your sudden quitness and craned his neck to see what you were doing.
“Did you find it?”
You smiled brightly, turned around and held the book in front of him with satisfaction.
He observed your expression and his laughter erupted effortlessly. "That face right now..." He paused to reminisce. "It reminds me of when you were still a little girl.”
He was mentally transported back to a time when you were innocent and carefree, a time when he took pride in being your protector before everything turned upside down.
“Come,” he said, motioning for you to sit next to him on the couch. “Let’s read it together.”
Just like a happy child, you threw yourself onto the soft cushions and grabbed a piece of blanket for yourself. It’d been a long time since the two of you had enjoyed a peaceful moment, relaxing in front of a good book without him being in constant pain.
It was difficult to determine whether the medication was working as intended, or if a miracle had simply occurred after a prolonged period of suffering. Regardless of what fate had in store for your family, witnessing him regain his appetite and spend more time out of bed was something you wouldn't trade for anything in the world.
You took a deep breath and opened the book, reading the first lines aloud.
“He is said to sprincle sand or dust into the eyes of children at night, to bring on sleep and dreams. You have met him before and he has many names. He is the King of Dreams and Nightmares, he is Dream of The Endless.”
Those were the words you remembered the night you met Dream for the first time.
“He is The Shaper of Form, with the ability to control the subconscious mind. Be wary, my child; respect his power and always be mindful of what you're dreaming about when you fall asleep. The Sandman is watching and waiting to take you on a journey through your wildest dreams, or your darkest nightmares.”
As you turned the pages of your treasured book, you noticed the slight darkening and roughening of its once pristine appearance. The story was not new to you and it could only be just that - a story. Or a gateway to a world beyond your own.
Perhaps it was the intricate details of the Endless' dimension that made it feel so real, or the vivid descriptions of his powers and abilities. Whatever it was, you found yourself captivated by the possibilities that laid within its pages.
“He is a story, an idea, the anthropomorphic embodiment of dreams and imagination. He is that which you do not know and he is that which you can not know. He is a mystery to some, a legend to others. He rules his realm between the living and the dead. He needs no such things like food and water, or any other human emotion like sadness, anger or love.”
As you repeated the phrase "He doesn't need love" in your head, it was worth considering whether that statement was actually true. After all, isn't love something that every being deserves, regardless of their identity or status? Whether you're a human or a God, the need for love is universal. It's what binds us together and gives our lives meaning. Love has the power to heal wounds, bridge divides and create connections that transcend all boundaries.
Dream was unlike anything you had ever seen or experienced in your entire life. His eyes were full of emotions - fear, pain, rage, loneliness. Was it possible for a being like him to be bound to live his endless existence without any form of love?
‘It is not your love that he needs,’ those words echoed through your mind. ‘You are not like him, you will never be.’
Your heart cracked right in that instant.
You continued to read. “He can sense something deep, something that you need, something you want. What is it, child? What is the one thing you wish for, more than anything else in the world? Say it out loud and it will be yours. Speak, and the King of dreams shall make your world into paradise.”
You were so engrossed in your book that you almost jumped at the sound of your father's loud snore. Looking over, you saw him asleep like a baby himself and you couldn’t help but smile despite the disruption. You gently placed the book on your lap and adjusted the blanket on his chest. After settling him comfortably, you resumed your reading.
“Everything around you can shift, twisting like smoke. The Sandman's influence extends beyond the realm of dreams, as he is capable of affecting reality itself. His powers are vast and mysterious, many have tried to understand or harness them, to no avail.”
You thought of Dream, imprisoned in a glass sphere by a man who sought to use his powers for personal gain.
“There is no limit when you dream. The Endless can show you wonders unseen, take you on a tour of the infinite, to the stars within the stars.”
You felt yourself swept away by the idea of limitless possibilities. The thought of exploring the unknown and seeing things that had yet to be discovered was uplifting.
“Worlds beyond worlds, dimensions that you do not yet understand, universes so strange that they would shatter your mind.”
But as you continued to read, your eyes began to droop and the text in front of you started to blur.
An unusual sense of fatigue was creeping over you. Your hand slowly lost its grip on the side of the book, letting it slide onto the couch.
It felt as though your body was shutting down, the caffeine and sugar you ingested weren't helping you to stay awake.
And then, everything went black.
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As you walked through a dark and misty forest, you felt transported to a different reality. The towering trees reached out with skeletal branches in the hazy atmosphere, but you didn't feel afraid and continued on to take in the sights and the rustling sounds of leaves moving in the breeze.
The mist was so thick that you could barely see where you were going, listening to the occasional hoot of an owl following you. The damp air clunged to your skin and hair, your senses on high alert.
You didn't know your destination, nor how and when you ended up in that place. All you knew was that you wanted to continue walking and get out of the forest to find what was waiting for you ahead.
As you sprinted through the woods, your heart pounding with excitement and adrenaline, you saw a glimmer of light in the distance. You picked up your pace, your feet moving faster and faster until you burst out of the forest and into a natural clearing with a suspended bridge, stretching across a murky swamp.
Two brick houses stood on either side of the bridge, looking like something straight out of a medieval fairytale. The sky above was filled with clouds that danced and converged into a sort of twist, creating a mesmerizing pattern that you couldn't take your eyes off.
You crossed the bridge and were immediately struck by the gloom that surrounded you. Dry leaves crunched beneath your feet, fallen branches littered the ground and decaying ornaments were scattered throughout the area. The overall effect was one of abandonment and you started to wonder if you were alone in that unknown land.
Your thoughts were interrupted by a sudden and explosive roar, which echoed through the sky not far from where you were standing. You saw a dark figure plummeting towards you when you looked up and you couldn’t immediatly make out what it was. As it drew closer, it shaped into a winged creature unlike any you'd ever seen before.
The animal landed heavily on the ground, which shook under its claws. You took a few steps backward, but in your panic, you found yourself stuck in the garden with nowhere else to go. The creature’s wings were not particularly big, but the head was massive and you could already feel its hot breath as it moved closer.
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Desperately trying to get away, you stumbled over a branch and fell on your bottom almost comically (but strangely, you felt nothing). You were rendered inert by fear the moment the creature approached you, sniffing your clothes with its large nostrils and stopping just a few inches away from your face.
Your heart was about to explode, but you didn’t react, unsure of what to do. The strange animal watched you with curiosity, its big and shiny eyes looked almost human-like, not at all threatening. You decided to take a chance and tentatively reached out your hand to touch its nose. Its skin was thick and rough, warm and bumpy. To your surprise, the creature responded with a happy, guttural sound that filled the air, smiling at you and jumping up and down.
You let out a sigh of relief and chuckled in amusement, it was surprisingly cute! You lifted yourself from the ground and stood before the animal, it was big and tall even if it wasn't fully standing on its legs. The creature bumped its nose against your chin and you laughed, taking its head between your hands and gently brushed them along the reptile’s face.
“Gregory! Is everything all right?”
You heard footsteps approaching from behind the creature. Two men appeared in the garden and froze on the spot, staring at you with surprise and confusion. It was clear that they weren't expecting anyone to be trespassing on their property, but they didn’t seem dangerous or hostile.
Both of them had slicked-back dark hair and long beards. One was dressed in a sleeveless green vest with a white shirt underneath, while the other wore a grey jacket and a red scarf around his neck. Their suits looked like they belonged to a distant era, quite a strong contrast with your modern attire.
“Hello,” you greeted them politely. “My apologies for the intrusion. I think I got lost.”
They were completely stunned, to say the least. They gazed at you as if you were a mirage or some sort of illusion. It took them a moment to answer you.
“We… we have a visitor…?” The man with the jacket said.
“It cannot be…” Said the other.
You laughed nervously. “I shouldn’t be here, I’m sorry.”
As you turned to leave, one of them spoke up. “Wait! Please don’t go. We’ve been alone here for so long… We’re not used to visitors anymore.”
Your eyes moved back and forth, from one man to the other. “What is this place?” you asked.
The man with the sleeveless vest responded. “This is the Dreaming, Milady. ”
Didn’t you already hear that before?
“The Dreaming…? Am I asleep?”
They both nodded.
You stood there lost in your own thoughts, gently caressing the face of the animal beside you.
“Have I been here before?”
The man with the jacket took a step forward. “Not here with us, no. Things are a little… different than they used to be without Lord Morpheus.”
“Lord Morpheus…?”
Again, you had a feeling that you'd heard that name somewhere else, but you couldn't quite recall the details of when or where.
"The King of Dreams abandoned us a long time ago and the Dreaming has been deteriorating ever since. No more dreamers have shown up at our door.”
The man with the vest's face began to visibly show anger, while the other seemed to be more sad than resentful.
“But today is a good day, because someone did show up!”
You smiled at them. The creature responded with another happy jump and a pleased growl, as if showing its approval for your arrival.
“Ah, our Gregory seems to like you!”
“Gregory? That’s a nice name. What kind of animal is he?”
The man in the jacket walked closer and tenderly patted Gregory on the back. “He’s a gargoyle! Such a good boy, isn’t he?”
As you stood in front of Gregory, you felt a sense of adoration for the magnificent creature. Despite his size and initially daunting presence, he approached you with the excitement of an oversized dog, eagerly welcoming you into his presence.
The man in the jacket spoke again. "I'm Able, by the way. This is my brother, Cain."
Cain smirked. "Greetings."
"Y/N," you replied, pondering whether their names had any connection to the well-known biblical figures, or if their mother was simply inspired by their original story. Since you were aware that you were dreaming now, nothing seemed particularly out of place in your thoughts. That’s just how dreams are, right?
Cain motioned for you to follow him to his home, which was one of the two enigmatic buildings you had spotted while crossing the bridge. “Please, make yourself comfortable.”
You took a deep breath and let yourself relax as your host guided you into his home, with Able walking in after you. The moment you stepped inside, you were enveloped by the warm and inviting aroma of freshly baked biscuits and tea. The inside looked rather spacious, it felt intimate and cozy with the woodsy scent of the room adding to the feeling of comfort.
As you settled in front of the fireplace, the warmth emanating from it wrapped around your entire body, providing a much-needed respite from the cold and damp weather outside. The sound of distant thunder grew louder as a sudden downpour erupted from the raging sky, the raindrops pelting against the windowpanes in a rhythmic beat. Looking out one of the small windows, you caught a glimpse of Gregory running away from the rain and disappearing somewhere into the garden among the trees.
Able sat next to you. “It’s really nice by the fire.”
Cain snorted. “Of course it is, powder brain. It's exceedingly cozy.”
Able shrugged and reached for the teapot on the wooden table. "Here's your tea, just the way you like it," he said with a smile.
And he wasn't lying. As you gently took the mug he filled for you between your hands, you were hit by the familiar scent of tea that you regularly had in the real world.
“You can take your shoes off, if that's more comfortable for you.”
Cain snapped. “Absolutely not, this isn't a barnyard!”
You could feel the warmth of the tea on your palms and the hot steam on your face. Your senses were heightened and everything was more vivid than you thought possible in a dream. The taste of the tea was just as good as what you would expect in reality - perhaps even better. It seemed to have a depth of flavor that you had never experienced while being awake.
The two men were nice too, welcoming and friendly.
Cain took a seat in front of you by the fire. “Now that everyone appears to be settled, we can tell you the first story. Our story begins-”
“Oh, our friend here already knows who we are,” Able interrupted him, looking at you with a pleased expression. “You look smart, even sleeping.”
Your cheeks turned pink as you smiled.
“Yes, yes I can see,” Cain continued. “Well, I was a farmer.”
”And I was shepherd,” said Able.
“We were competitive, as all brothers can be.”
“I don’t think most brothers are like you at all…”
“You are ruining the story!”
Their random bickering was entertaining to watch, their presence offered you good company in an unfamiliar world.
Cain let out a deep sigh, his eyes transfixed on the raindrops that were sliding down the windowpane, tracing their path as they went. The pitter-patter of the rain against the glass seemed to fill the air with a melancholic melody that matched Cain's mood.
Able followed his brother’s gaze. “It's really coming down out there.”
“I'll brew another pot of tea,” Cain stood up, breaking his trance from the rain. He picked up the half-empty pot and turned around, making his way to the kitchen to prepare a refill for the three of you. “it's a boring story anyway. I've told it a thousand times.”
You believed there was no such thing as a boring story, but you failed to express your sentiment and your mind started to feel clouded.
Able shook his head. “Don’t mind him. You stay in dream as long as you like.”
You wanted to express gratitude, but found yourself tongue-tied. You set the mug down on the table and your vision became unclear, everything around you lost its sharpness and your fingers looked incredibly weird. Although Able was speaking, his voice seemed too far away and you felt as if you were submerged underwater. The distance between you and Cain's house was growing, you were floating in a sea of confusing images, shaping and moving uncontrollably.
When you opened your eyes, you were greeted by the bookshelf in the living room and your father's snoring was loud in your ear. You blinked several times to focus and shake off the disorientation. You were certain that you had seen something, dreamt it even… but the more you tried to recall it, the more it slipped away from you. The name "Gregory" was the only thing that remained vivid in your mind, along with the lingering taste of tea at the back of your tongue.
Strange, considering you didn’t make any.
You took a deep breath and retrieved the book that had fallen onto the cushions. Although your insomnia still troubled you at night, you had begun to notice a pattern of random naps during the day. Maybe your body was so fatigued that it seized any opportunity for rest and relaxation when you didn’t have work to do, or maybe Dream's influence in your life was more powerful than you had imagined.
Somehow, you were inclined to believe it was the latter.
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As the days passed, you found yourself remembering fragments from your forgotten dreams. These recollections were sporadic, a sudden flash of images passing before your eyes like distant memories.
Did you actually see those things at all, or were they just some metaphorical visions from your subconscious mind?
You knew Dream wouldn't answer any of the questions that had been plaguing you for weeks, but he was the only living being that could at least understand what you were trying to put together.
During your last visits, the guards had stopped granting you the privacy you had requested. Upon further inquiry, you found out that Mr. Burgess himself had directly imposed a similar restriction out of nowhere. Given the growing suspicion he was developing against you, that sudden decision didn’t exactly come as a surprise to you. Any excuse related to your well being was beyond ridiculous, but you could only comply with what he wanted.
Despite the added pressure of being watched, you continued to visit the Endless whenever possible, keeping your voice low in hopes that they wouldn’t hear you.
During your most recent conversation with him, you described the detailed images that kept recurring in your mind. Although you weren't certain if those were actual dreams, he was taken aback by your descriptions and you could tell that he knew exactly what you were talking about. Somehow, that also led you to believe that you had gained access to something really big, something you didn’t even know how you could reach after a lifetime or dreamless nights with him sealed away.
You didn't want to be delusional, but Dream's eyes always seemed to soften whenever you were around. It was a truly inexplicable experience; you intuitively perceived his thoughts and managed to understand him just based on his body language and the way he looked at you. You had never felt such a strong bond with someone you hadn't even heard speaking once, it was a compelling sensation that continued expanding with time, leaving you longing for more.
But it also amplified your discomfort for your total inaction. Despite asking for his trust, you failed to provide anything that would warrant his faith in you. This lack of follow-through on your part was leaving you with the sense that you had let him down in some way and it was devouring you from the inside.
In an effort to address the situation, you decided to apologize to him. You expressed your regret, explaining that you had attempted to convince Mr. Burgess to change course, but your efforts had been unsuccessful. You were even contemplating rejecting the money they were still offering for your assistance, as it made you feel like you were just as bad as Roderick Burgess, gaining profit from his imprisonment.
You lowered your gaze and let out a shaking sigh, placing your forehead against the cold material of the sphere. You weren’t expecting much in return, but to your surprise, you saw his hand moving towards the glass. Witnessing this gesture of empathy, your heart warmed up and you could barely contain the joy coating it.
You smiled, sliding your fingers up to where his were waiting and let them rest just there. Your hand against his appeared small and delicate, which only made you desire to feel the contact of his skin. You longed for his fingers to intertwine with yours, bringing you closer together. You yearned to feel his heart, assuming he had one like humans do, and brush the tip of your nose along his cheek.
It was as if you were falling in love for the first time all over again.
Dream stared back at you without blinking or smiling. And yet, his eyes glistened under the dim light above and his Adam's apple bobbed, leaving you with no doubt about the honesty of his feelings.
The intensity of the moment was so strong that you literally snapped out of it when the guard called you from the other side of the platform.
“Oi. Get a room, shall ya?”
You rolled your eyes, cleared your throat and reluctantly moved your hand away from the glass. Dream did the same, looking away and clenching his jaw.
You turned slightly, glaring at the guard from afar. “Why, are you jealous?”
At least this time he didn’t point a gun at you.
The man didn't respond, but instead, snorted and crossed his arms in a pompous manner. The woman sitting next to him was giggling like a schoolgirl, adding to your frustration.
You gazed at Dream, disappointment and resignation written all over your face. His posture revealed the desperation he had been suffocating for many years.
"I should probably go," you told him, your lack of enthusiasm was evident in your voice. “See you tomorrow.”
Parting ways with him always felt like torture, knowing that you were leaving him trapped and mistreated every single time. You just wanted to free him from his cage and hold him close, feeling his warmth, scent and breath on your lips.
And yet, you found yourself turning on your heels once more, leaving Dream alone with those two individuals who only saw him as nothing more than a cash cow.
But as you walked away, you didn't notice a bit of paint from the bounding circle had ended up under one of your shoes. Dream, however, was looking at the very subtle smear that was starting to form on the ground, causing the left corner of his mouth to rise up.
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Another month went by and your life had become awfully repetitive.
You were working in the mansion from morning until late evening, running back and forth between Wych Cross and the city, serving guests and venturing down to the basement over and over again. But your salary was something to be more than satisfied about and your father's health was only improving with each passing day. These factors, combined with Dream being a stable part of your daily routine now, made all your efforts and physical exertion worth it.
That was, until one fateful night.
Mr. Burgess's and Mr. McGuire's "friends" were partying in the main resting area, enjoying drinks, snacks and various conversations about things that only made you cringe the more you listened to them.
There was a guest in particular who seemed to be captivated by your presence. He was in his mid-40s, showing up with a new branded suit every time. You couldn't ignore the fact that his eyes were constantly searching for you, and he even tried to strike up a conversation whenever you stopped next to him to clean up.
You had to politely turn him down at least three times, using your duties as a pretext to avoid his annoying advances.
The man was a regular visitor to the mansion, but before that moment, he had never shown any interest in you. Perhaps he had too many drinks and lost his lucidity, or maybe you had been too naive to even notice his glances the times he was there.
Things took an unpleasant turn when you went to the kitchen to refill the tray with fresh food and a couple more bottles of prestigious wine. He took advantage of the loud chattering and general distraction in the other room and followed you through the corridors like a silent predator. Sneaking into the kitchen, he stopped just a few inches away from you without even announcing his presence. When you turned around, you almost crashed into him and barely avoided splattering the food all over your uniform.
He was too close for comfort, staring at you with a pair of darkened, hungry eyes.
The chef's shift had finished half an hour before, leaving you alone with that man now who didn’t seem to have good intentions at all.
"Sir, you shouldn't be here," you told him firmly. "If you want something, I can bring it to you in the living room."
He snickered evilly. "Oh come on. Don't pretend to be all innocent now."
"I'm sorry, but you are misunderstanding," you said.
He moved closer and placed his nasty fingers on your waist. "Misunderstanding my ass. How about we have a little fun?" The smell of booze coming from his breath was nauseating.
You held the tray with all your might and tried to slip away from his grasp. Despite how drunk and unbalanced he appeared to be, his grip was quite strong on you and he started to push you against the wall.
"Sir, please let me go," you protested.
But he didn't want to see reason, forcing you to walk backward and causing the tray to fall with a loud crash. The bottles broke instantly, covering the floor with glass shards. The food was ruined, scattered everywhere as the wine spread into a big red puddle that almost resembled blood.
“What the hell are you doing?!” You squirmed between his arms, but he refused to let you go.
He sniffed your neck like an animal, ready to taste its victim. "Stop pretending. I know you want this."
You started to panic. The hard wall against your back was rather painful, so you finally threw away all your professionalism and shoved him off of you as hard as you could.
"Get away from me!"
The man stumbled, his expression immediately switching to full rage mode. "You damn bitch!"
He grabbed your wrist and yanked it so hard that you could feel it twist and crack slightly. The force in his gesture pulled you forward and knocked you down onto the floor, soaking your shirt and the tips of your hair with wine in the process. You felt a sharp sting on your back, indicating that a piece of glass was most likely piercing your skin through your clothes. Smaller shards were scratching your arms, pricking you like a bunch of small needles.
For a moment, you couldn’t even breathe from the impact. Judging by the way you could still move your limbs, there didn’t seem to be anything broken, but your wrist was burning like fire, your shoulder was most likely dislocated and some drops of your blood were staining the already dirty tiles, mixing with the wine.
You didn’t know what to expect. His state of utter confusion made him horribly aggressive, assaulting you out of nowhere and without warning. At that point, you didn't want to consider the possibilities of what he could have done to you.
But before he could kneel down and climb on your inert body, Paul’s voice boomed into the kitchen from the entrance.
“What is going on here?!” His tone was filled with authority and concern.
The man froze, looking at Paul and then back at you. He ran his hand through his disheveled hair and nervously adjusted his partially undone tie. "I-uhh.... She... she tried to jump on me. I-I didn't mean to push her so hard," he stammered.
"What?!" you exclaimed in disbelief.
"And what were you doing here in the kitchen?" Paul asked skeptically.
The man was sweating profusely. "Well, I... I wanted to get a drink-"
"This house is not a place for you to explore without permission."
You pushed yourself up with your elbows, your head spinning and your wrist throbbing with pain.
"Paul, my friend. Come on, you wouldn't seriously believe that I'd do anything bad," the man pleaded.
You saw Mr. McGuire take a deep breath, trying to calm himself down as he pressed his lips together and narrowed his eyes. If looks could kill, the man would have been dead right in that instant.
"Get out of my house," He said, his voice filled with so much anger that it almost shook you.
“B-but I-”
“I’ll bid a cab. You take your leave and never show your face again. Is that clear?”
The man was stunned. He dropped his head and nodded silently as Mr. McGuire escorted him out of the kitchen. He promised to return with Mr. Burgess's doctor right away, so you were left sitting on the floor, your heart beating like a drum and your body shaking uncontrollably. You held your wrist tightly against your chest, trying to steady your breathing and ease the pain in your shoulder that felt like it needed a good pull. You could smell the wine all over your clothes, feeling it seeping through the fabric and sticking to your body.
When Paul returned, he crouched down next to you and gently placed a warm hand over your good shoulder. The doctor took hold of your wrist and examined it carefully, twisting it slowly and causing a pained groan to escape from you.
They helped you stand, accompanying you to your room for better care and examination. It was discovered that your shoulder was indeed partially dislocated and although the procedure to fix it was quick, it wasn’t entirely pain-free. Your wrist was sprained due to the man's hard pull, so you were advised to use good bandages, an ice package and a pain relief cream to help with the healing process. With a sling also put on your shoulder, you needed to let your whole arm rest for a few days.
The piece of glass that had injured your back was stuck between the uniform and your skin, the thickness of your shirt preventing it from going deeper. Although the cut wasn't severe, you were certain you'd be left with a small scar there.
The tiny scratches on your arms were cleaned and disinfected properly. The doctor didn’t need to cover them with a bandaid, but your skin appeared as though it had been grated.
After the woman left, an awful silence fell over you. You were lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, unsure of what to say or do. Mr. McGuire took a seat on the chair next to you, his face was etched with pain, guilt and apprehension.
You sensed that he wanted to say something, to break the tension that had settled on the room. Finally, he let out a deep sigh and you turned your head to look at him.
"Y/N, I am so sorry for what happened. This is entirely my fault.”
You noticed that he had called you by your name for the first time, without even using "Miss" to address you.
"I've been inviting these people over because I wanted Alex to socialize," He explained. "He never considered them close friends, and we always knew they were only interested in what we could offer rather than our company. But you see, I was at least hoping that he could take his mind off all the things that are troubling him.”
You sighed. “Mr. McGuire-”
“I should have protected you. You are working for us and keeping you safe is our responsibility. But I allowed that to happen because I was so lost in my own head that I didn’t even notice he was following you,” Paul lamented.
“Sir-”
“Please forgive me. I wish I could say or do something better, but I can only apologize to you.”
“Paul.”
You thought to yourself that now was not the time to be formal with someone who had proven to be a good friend more than a common employer.
“It wasn’t your fault. You couldn’t imagine he would do this to me," you reassured him.
He pinched the bridge of his nose. "I am supposed to keep an eye on you."
"You talk as if I need protection 24/7. You hired me to be a housemaid, nobody expects you to be my bodyguard and keep my every movement in check," you pointed out.
Paul was distraught, his left foot was rapidly jumping up and down, as if he wanted to make a hole in the wooden boards. "I just wanted you to feel comfortable here with us. Knowing that one of my guests assaulted you like that..."
You bit your lower lip. "What's done is done. And what that man did, or tried to do, isn't really your responsibility. "
He chuckled. "I'm not sure I deserve your kindness after tonight."
"Why not? You stopped him."
"I'm not the good man you think I am, Y/N."
"Yes, you are.”
Paul surrendered, letting his back rest against the chair as he finally relaxed after a long and emotionally exhausting day. The silence that followed was complicit, an unspoken agreement that solidified the mutual respect you had for each other.
You could tell that Paul didn't want to leave you alone after the traumatic experience you had endured, but what you really needed now was a shower to get rid of the wine that had already dried off and was making you smell like a vineyard from head to toe.
After stepping into the shower, you were grateful for the privacy of the bathroom in your own room. With caution, you removed the sling and turned on the water, ensuring that your bandage and medication around the wrist did not get wet. As the water ran along your hair and slid down on your body, it washed away the wine, but not the misery and disgust that still lingered on your aching frame. The cuts were already healing, but they were extremely painful under the hot jet.
It became clear that Fawney Rig was not the place for you, not after that night. The environment and culture were not aligned with your values and aspirations and paying a rent for an apartment you weren’t even using was a waste you didn’t really want to further prolong.
Having the rest of the evening to yourself, you thought about going to Dream to satiate your need for comfort. You decided against it though, because you didn't want him to see you in your current physical and emotional state.
You put on your nightgown and sat on the edge of the bed with a towel wrapped around your hair, the sling back in place. You took out your phone and checked the message that Hob had forwarded you a few days before, as he was the person you truly wanted to talk to at that moment. Although you promised him that you wouldn't disappear again, you failed to maintain proper contact and even forgot to answer his last text. Hob never tried to call you, nor was he the type of guy who texted people over and over again until they finally reached out to him. You knew he was worried sick about you and you wanted to let him know that you were at least okay.
But were you really okay? Your body being a little worse for wear was one thing, but the bottles of wine weren't the only things that broke into a thousand pieces. You felt empty, completely lost and utterly devastated. Your pride had been immensely damaged and your entire self-confidence had crumbled like a sandcastle.
You tapped on your phone and opened the first conversation. Hob’s profile picture appeared at the top left corner, looking as charming and professional as ever. There was a time when you thought you were developing a little crush on him, but eventually, you realized that he was more like family to you than a potential lover.
You read through his text again, figuring out a way to answer.
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You began typing your reply, but then stopped midway. You contemplated what you wanted to say, deleting your words and trying again with a newly formed sentence. On your fifth try, you closed the conversation and opened your contact list directly, selecting his name and initiating a call. You heard the sound of a free line as you placed your phone against your ear, waiting for him to pick up.
Assuming he was already in bed considering the time, you let out a pained sigh and lowered the phone when he didn't reply. However, before you could press the red handset to end the call, you heard a familiar voice coming through the speaker.“Y/N?”
Your heart sped up and you immediately brought the device back to your ear. “Hob?”
“Bloody hell, Shortcake! You left me on read, where have you been?!”
You smiled, his caring nature managing to fill your heart with excitement. You needed it now more than ever.
“Hey. Sorry for going silent again. Work’s been keeping me rather busy.”
He let out a long sigh. “My dear, you sound tired as fuck. Are you okay?”
You wanted to tell him that you were absolutely fine. You wanted to reassure him and lift the worry he constantly carried for you. You parted your lips, ready to deliver the most positive answer you could think of, but the words just didn't want to come out.
You swallowed the lump that was forming in your throat. “Yes,” you finally said. “I’m fine.”
“Okay, seriously now. Don’t think I didn’t notice that pause. What happened?” He asked.
You were practically an open book to him, and you were absolutely terrible at hiding the way you felt.
The truth was that you wanted to scream, to cry, to punch something so hard that the entire house would fall down. There was so much you wanted to tell him, but you absolutely couldn't reveal all of it. Having secrets with the ones you cared about was something you could barely handle, so you only revealed the part that didn't need to be kept secure.
“Well, you see, there was an accident,” you confessed.
“What? What accident? Are you hurt?!” He was literally panicking now.
“I’m okay... sort of. Just a few scratches here and there, nothing to be worried about.”
You could feel his nervous laughter coming through the speaker. "Are you kidding me?! Of course I'm worried! Tell me everything. Now.”
Your mind went back to where everything started — to the glances that man gave you throughout the night, to the way he followed you to the kitchen, drunk and reeking. To his nasty hands over your waist as they pushed you against the wall and him abruptly grabbing your wrist, pulling you face down on the dirty floor.
You told him all that and more. You opened up about your fear of failing every time, about how much you tried to fit in, to ignore the differences between their world and yours. You admitted your strong desire to pack all your things and walk away, only kept at bay by something else you needed to take care of.
Hob listened silently until you were done. After a moment of evident shock, his voice came through the phone, louder and more agitated than before. “Y/N, are you crazy?! You can’t stay there, what the hell?!”
“I know Hob. But like I said, I can’t bring myself to leave just yet.”
“That bloody asshole assaulted you in your workplace and you got injured because of him! Do you really want to stay in such a toxic environment, only because they pay you more than anyone else would?”
You sighed. “Actually, it’s not that. Not anymore.”
“Then what is it?”
Maybe, just maybe, you were allowed to alter the story a little bit.
You closed your eyes, breathed in deeply and let your feelings spill out like a raging river. “Hob, I think I’m in love.”
You could almost hear the sound of his jaw hitting the floor. “You what?!”
You chuckled. “I know, it’s absurd.”
“Hold on a second. Shortcake, what are you talking about? Did you actually meet someone in that shithole?”
If only he could have known.
“I did.”
"And you want to stay, because of this lad?”
You nodded, even though he couldn’t see you. You were feeling foolish for admitting it out loud. "I know it's silly, but I can't help the way I feel.”
Dream had become such an important part of your life without even trying. You were in awe of him, mesmerized by his power and enigma. He was more than a God, the King of Dreams and Nightmares who you only read about when you were a child, then again when you retrieved that book from your old bookshelf. A being so powerful that he could literally shape an entire world from the ground up, so extraordinary that his grandness was far from your reach. His presence alone was enough to fill you with wonder, as if you were standing before an unfathomable force of nature.
He was a friend, a confidante, a source of comfort in times of need. Somehow, he was inspiring you to reach for greater heights, and you wished he could follow you in your journey for many years to come, guiding you through the twists and turns of existence.
But it was just a beautiful daydream. As you were on the cusp of closing that chapter of your life, there came a point where you could no longer ignore the inevitable approaching. You had to face it head-on, acknowledge it, and find a way to move forward on your own legs.
And it hurt you tremendously. “I love him, Hob. I really do.”
Love is a complex emotion that has the power to lift us up to the highest of highs and bring us crashing down to the lowest of lows. It is both beautiful and dangerous, bringing with it joy and happiness as well as heartache and pain.
You were feeling both ecstatic and terrified experiencing this new form of love after a long time. It was as if you were on top of the world and standing on the edge of a cliff simultaneously. Despite a part of you feeling complete and alive, you knew that this love was bound to end before it could even begin.
“Oh, Y/N.”
Hob was incredulous, but your sincerity had moved him deeply.
“I’ve known you for quite some time now and I’ve never heard you speak so fondly of someone before.”
So far, he had only witnessed a very brief flirtation with a man you had dated for a short period of time. Whenever he offered you the chance to meet one of his friends or coworkers, you always turned him down in fear of another waste of time you didn’t have the mental strength to deal with once more.
“I’m not going to lie to you; things are complicated between us right now. But there is something I must do before leaving, or I will regret it for the rest of my life.”
You could hear him smiling, breathing softly into the speaker. “I’ve been in love too. I know exacly how you feel.”
Although your story was far-fetched, Hob didn't want to pry and no questions were asked about the man who made you fall so hard.
The shock and dejecton were crushing you from within, but instead of wallowing in those emotions, you spent the next hour on the phone with your friend, who provided you with the perfect balance of humor and support. His jokes and words of encouragement were just what you needed to ease the burden weighting on you, his presence and the way he always knew how to make you feel better were absolutely indispensable.
When you noticed the tiredness in his voice, you thanked him for the company, wished him a good night and hung up the call, letting his uplifting words sink in.
He reminded you of your courage, allowing you to fight through your hardships instead of drowning in them. You were sensitive, compassionate and caring. You had nothing to reproach yourself for regarding how things turned out at the Burgess mansion.
Despite knowing this, there was still a voice in your head telling you that you could have tried a little harder, especially with Dream and the entire situation surrounding him.
Now you were injured and uncertain about the future, wondering how you would even face him looking like a total wreck.
After removing the towel, you brushed your hair with one hand while the sling kept your other arm firmly in place. You then got under the covers without bothering to use a hairdryer, as you massaged your sprained wrist in a circular motion. You could feel the nerves protesting and pulling under your skin, your upper arms stinging from what seemed like little electric shocks and the fabric of your nightgown rubbing against the small cut on your back, which made it burn unpleasantly even with the coverage that had been applied. Despite your efforts, you couldn't find a comfortable position that didn't make your body scream and twitch uncomfortably.
The more you thought about it, the more it resembled a movie that you had been watching from afar. It had happened so quickly and suddenly that you were still trying to come to terms with it all.
Objectively speaking, you had many things to be grateful for, especially now that you were succeeding in accomplishing what you truly wanted when you accepted to work for Alex Burgess. However, apart from the environment not matching your standards and being away from the city almost all week, something inside of you had clearly changed drastically since meeting Dream. It was more than just the feelings you had developed for him, more than a simple crush for an attractive “man” that you thought about all day. He was the answer to the many questions that formed in your mind about life and humanity, someone you had so much to learn from and were looking up to.
A creature you still knew so very little about, someone you weren’t even allowed to touch.
You closed your eyes, slowly falling into a deep sleep as your body finally started to succumb to exhaustion.
That night, you had no dream, floating into nothingness and sucked into a dark vortex.
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Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 (currently reading) Chapter 5 ->
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softlymellow · 3 years
Text
flaws -- B.B
pairing: Bucky Barnes x ! insecure reader
word count: 1.8k
warnings: angst and talk about body image, insecurities and a persons flaws. 
summary: reader compares herself to Natasha as she see’s her and Bucky getting close. She think’s he doesn’t have feelings for her due to her not being perfect and because of her flaws but Bucky reassures her it’s not. 
note: i hope this imagine isn’t taken this wrong way as me trying to romanticise someones insecurities. if i did please dm me or let me know so i can help fix it!! i promise i wasn’t trying to make anyone feel bad or anything and EVERYONE IS SO BEAUTIFUL IN ALL SHAPES AND FORMS and everybody is insecure about something and that’s completely normal but you are loved and you are perfect and you don’t need a man ( or girl! ) to tell you that. hope you guys enjoyyy
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You loved being the reason he smiled or laughed.
 Not that he would do it often, his face masked from the trauma he experienced. But when you were the reason he was happy, it gave you almost a sense of pride, but it was taken away from you.
There she was, Natasha Romanoff. 
Her incredible orange hair that sat on her shoulders was eye-catching, her glowing skin and her full scarlet lips complimented her appearance tremendously. 
You couldn't blame her. She was everything you couldn't be and everything you should be. Yet, the lump that rested in the back of your throat was difficult to ignore as you watched Bucky and Natasha interact with each other. A genuine laugh arose from the male, yet you could only wish you were the reason he laughed.
It wasn't as if you weren't friends with him. Hell, it seemed like a lot more to you. Maybe only to you.
You pulled your knees to your chest and hugged them tightly, watching the pair chatter among each other near the dining table as you reside in the comfort of the couch across from them.
Steve sat beside you, busy fixating himself on his new cellphone and playing around with the features.
You drew small circles on your knee to comfort yourself, ignoring the voice that was calling out to you.
"Y/n!" Your head snapped to your right, looking at a semi-concerned Steve. "Almost lost you there," He chuckled while you rubbed your eyes, gaining your full attention.
"How do you change the ringtone?" He innocently asked, poking his phone.
"Just go to settings and search it up." You told him, relocating your gaze to the pair. Steve hummed as he did what you instructed him. You sat quietly before you began to chew on your fingernails, thinking of every possible explanation on why Bucky would choose Natasha over you.
It almost felt as if you were being toyed with, one minute you'd be two peas in a pod, often being teased as one of the only people Bucky began to get close to other than Steve. On the other, he'd be flaunting off to every girl he would see.
"You know you should stop staring before you make it obvious," Steve whispered next to you,  jumping at the sudden break in thought and looking over to a smirking man.
"Steve," You hissed, glaring at him, "before making what obvious?" You innocently asked, attempting to cover up the embarrassment you felt.
Steve shot you a knowing look and you felt your cheeks flare-up, "Shut up."
"I didn't say anything," Steve responded with a smug expression. You rolled your eyes jokingly before turning your attention to Bucky.
"You should give it a shot, yknow," Steve whispered.
You shook your head 'no', snapping your gaze to Steve, "Trust me," He said in a hushed tone. Looking back to Natasha, you couldn't help the sickening feeling as you watched the pair flirt with each other.
"What would he see in me that he wouldn't in Nat," You mumbled under your breath, not intending for Steve to hear.
"You wouldn't know," Steve cleared his throat, poking at his phone with a pleased look on his face. You tilted your head as you narrowed your eyes at him. Getting up from the couch, you had decided to leave to wallow in your sadness.
You made your way past the pair and you heard the silence that fell among them, their gaze darting holes in your back as you walked away from the room.
Ignoring the distant mumbling behind you, you made your way towards your bedroom. Locking the door behind you, you hadn't bothered to turn the lights on. You dropped on your bed as you felt a swarm of emotions hit you. Once mostly consisting of jealousy.
You took out your phone and headed straight to Instagram. You scrolled through for what could only be interpreted as hours before you paused on a single post that lied on your feed.
It was a picture of Natasha that was posted only a few hours ago. It was taken during Tony's infamous parties last night, one that you had skipped out on due to feeling ill. She sat on a red velvet couch, and she wore a skin-tight black dress that sparkled in the light. She held a drink to her mouth as her red straightened hair fell over her eye. You had noticed that Bucky liked the picture, and you felt the tears brim your eyes. Your grip holding the phone as if your life depended on it suddenly faltered as it fell beside your head, briefly missing your face.
Getting up towards the large mirror that was framed on the closet door, you noticed every imperfection on your figure. Your hands travelled to your shirt as you pulled it off your body, leaving you only in your bra and your negative thoughts.
Your eyes wandered to every flaw, the extra fat and skin on your stomach. The way your body wasn't the perfect hourglass figure. Your fingers traced over your stretch marks that lied on your hips, feeling the slight dent in your skin. Tears began to fall down your face. Your flabby arms and that your breasts wasn't the ideal type.
Sitting on the ground in front of your mirror, you hugged your legs tightly against your chest as you sobbed.
You couldn't fit the standards that were made. The more you looked and the more you scrolled, just end up bringing newfound insecurities. That was a problem you had faced many times during your life and you began to doubt yourself. You would rather be anybody else, feeling unfit in your own body, one that was especially for you. All you saw was what you should be. A happier person, a prettier girl, and a stronger Avenger.
You threw your shirt back on, making your way towards your bed. Lying your head down, you allowed yourself to think about nothing. Empty thoughts. Thoughts that had no meaning and brought you no use.
A knock on the door brought you back to your reality. Getting up, you brushed away the tears that stained your cheeks as you sniffed. Suddenly feeling exposed, you pulled your sleeves down to hide your arms before opening the door.
Your eyes widened as you saw a concerned Bucky waiting outside. His eyebrows furrowed upon seeing your puffy eyes and your red cheeks.
"Can I come in?" He politely asked, his eyes watching every move you made. You nodded, not trusting your voice.
You stood aside, allowing Bucky to slip into your room as you shut the door behind him.
You leaned against the door, your arms crossed against your chest as you waited for him to say something.
He sighed, not knowing where to start, his hands ruffling his hair. "Are you avoiding me?" He obliviously asked. You could almost laugh at how stupid of a question it was.
Your lips could only quiver as you attempted to respond to him. "What?"
"Doll, I don't know if I did something wrong, but you seemed pretty upset back there." He tilted his head and pressed his lips together.
You shook your head as you bit the insides of your mouth, "No, no, it was nothing." You muttered as you sat on your bed, staring at your palms.
"Doll, I know you well enough to know when something is wrong." He shot you a small smile.
"Do you like her?" You instantly regretted saying that, your insecurities creeping in again.
Bucky was taken back by the sudden question, his eyebrows raised in confusion. "Who?"
"Natasha."
"What, no. Where'd you hear that from?" He enquired.
You looked up at Bucky, tears glossing over your vision. "I've seen the way you look at her, Buck."
"No, Y/n. I've never liked her."
"You don't have to lie for me. I mean, what's there not to like. She has the perfect body, face and hair and-" You were interrupted by his sudden grasp on your hands.  
"And you don't have those things?"
"I-I don't." You whispered.
"That's a lie, and you know it." His firm voice alarmed you as if you somehow offended him.
You got up and kept strong eye contact with him. "What are you trying to say, Bucky? Have you seen me?" You scoffed and started to point and poke around your flaws.
"There's nothing wrong with your body, doll." He said in a calmer tone, realising you were insecure about your body image.
"Bucky, you can just stop faking it. Go back to Natasha." You muttered, sniffing as you looked down at your feet.
"I don't love Natasha, Y/n! I love you, doll. I always have." He confessed, slightly panting as he raised his voice.
You stood still, finding it difficult to believe in his words.
"I love you and every part of you." He took your hands in his and planted a small kiss onto your knuckles.
"Then what about-"
"Forget about her, doll. I tried to forget about you through her. Steve told me." He looked up to your eyes, watching your reaction.
You felt the heat creep onto your face as you realised he knows your feelings towards himself.
"Do you really?" You asked, hope in your eyes.
He nodded, still holding your hand and planting small kisses. His kisses travelled up towards your arms as you felt a swarm of butterflies swarm your insides.
"I love your arms," he left a trail of kisses as he went further up.
"Your shoulders," he mumbled against your skin, a tingling sensation was left after every kiss as you felt yourself biting your lip in admiration.
He made his way towards your neck, loving the way you tensed under his touch. "Your neck," he kissed behind your ear as you bit back a moan.
You tilted your head, allowing him to move further, his lips moving alongside your jaw. He finally reached your lips and caught your gaze on his. His lips were mere inches apart from yours, you felt his breath fan over yours.
"Your lips," he whispered, his mouth slowly reaching yours as they gently kissed. Your lips dancing over his, enjoying the moment. His lips were soft against yours and he kissed you as if you were fragile, something to not be tampered with.
He slowly let go of you, his forehead against yours. "I love everything about you, doll. Don't doubt that and don't compare yourself to other women. You're equally if not more beautiful than them." He whispered, pecking you on the cheek.
"You'll realise your worth, Y/n." He kissed you on the forehead.
You felt better after Bucky had come found you that night. Your insecurities didn't go away, instead, you found them as someone else's treasure. And that made you feel better.
-----
a/n: man that last part has me embarrassed. 
648 notes · View notes
lazypeachsoul · 3 years
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you promise?
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Request: by anon “Could you write an Osferth drabble. About anything you'd like. Please and thank you.”
Warnings: Nothing.
Word count: 1,8k
A/N: Here's the first fic for The Last Kingdom Week! Hope you enjoy some sweet baby monk. I might have gone overboard with this story, but I can't help it when it comes to osferth. Enjoy 🌼
The streets of Cookham were bustling with workers returning home from the fields that surrounded the village. Thanks to Lord Uhtred and his fame the once forgotten town had become a stop for every merchant that traveled through Wessex and the workload had increased. And you were no different than any of those other people.
The sun was now setting and it was your time to return the children you minded back to their homes, where their overworked parents would take care of them. It wasn’t normal for common workers to have child minders, normally leaving the kids at home with their mothers, but Cookham was busier than ever and women were working the fields too. And that left you to take care of the little rascals that lived in town.
You had tried to work as a seamstress and at the alehouse, but nothing seemed to really suit you. Well, at least until you started taking care of the kids. You didn’t get much pay since the people you worked for were underpaid to begin with, but the little you got you saved for a new fabric, or a sweet treat or for those times you would meet Osferth at the alehouse and you wanted to prove him that you were a hard working woman.
And how you loved those times. Osferth seemed to always be busy either training or meeting with the rest of what had now been named the “Cookham squad”. Lord Uhtred and his loyal warriors were the talk of all Wessex and a great source of gossip for the entire town. Lord Uhtred and his beautiful wife Gisela took care of the people that lived inside their walls. Then there was Finan, the loud irishman who seemed to bring joy and fun to any occasion celebrated, always close to him was Sihtric, the mysterious dane who didn’t speak much but said a lot with just a look. And the last one was the monk who is not really a monk Osferth.
When you first met him you were trying to learn to become a barmaid and accidentally tripped on his foot, sending a pitcher of ale flying everywhere and leaving you both embarrassed and asking for mutual forgiveness. Since that moment, you had started to meet together at the alehouse every few days, providing you with a nice friendship but keeping all the rules a respectable young unmarried woman should follow.
And that’s exactly where you were headed after dropping your last child at home with his grateful mother. Your heart skipped a beat when you saw the familiar blonde mop of hair sitting on one of the outside benches, and you had to admit to yourself that maybe it was more than just casual meetings at the alehouse. At that moment Osferth turned around and waved in your direction and with a small wave you made your way to the bench, sitting in front of him.
“I thought you didn’t see me, you looked distracted.” Osferth's sweet voice spoke and you had to admit he was right, you almost missed it because of your constant daydreaming about the man. But you couldn’t admit that.
“Excuse me, the children were wild and I’m extremely tired. Must be because of the nice weather.”
“Maybe we should meet another day, I wouldn’t want to tire you more Lady-” “No!”
You hadn’t been able to stop the agitated answer from coming out when you heard his dismissal. You were tired but never too tired to stop meeting Osferth. You could feel your cheeks hot with embarrassment and you tried to clear your throat to diffuse the tension.
“I mean, I would rather stay here with you and relax with a friend.”
Osferth’s face seemed to harden at your words but as soon as the barmaid brought you two cups of ale everything seemed to go back to normal, except for a small curious voice at the back of your head wanting to know why the expression changed.
“A friend. Of course. I enjoy the time we spend together too.” He nodded his head, his blonde hair falling in front of his eyes before taking a sip from his cup. “The weather is really nice so I wouldn’t blame the children. Lord Uhtred told us that the weather would turn nicer before we leave.”
You felt the ale you had been drinking get stuck in your throat but you tried to conceal it with a soft cough so as to not cause a scene in the packed alehouse. Leave? They were leaving?
“Are you leaving soon? You didn’t say anything before.”
“Lord Uhtred just confirmed it this morning. The King has requested the Lord’s help in some negotiations with the danes. He thought it best for us to accompany him since his history with the king is not the most amicable.”
You nodded along as he spoke but your brain was overworking itself trying to comprehend the situation. They were leaving to assist the King of Wessex and they would leave Cookham unattended for God knows how long. Of course the real reason you were worried was not the village, Lady Gisela could take care of it and more without a problem, you were worried about Osferth and you. Was there even an 'Osferth and you' to worry about?
“That’s...great that the King and our Lord are speaking again. Maybe it might help us get resources from the crown.” You tried to excuse your previous silence but it must have been obvious you were deep in thought because Osferth looked at you with a curious face. “And when are you leaving?”
“We’re expected to depart tomorrow morning. Apparently those matters are very important and require us to be there as soon as possible.” He shrugged in a move to downplay the entire situation.
Silence was the only thing that could be heard from your side of the bench, a deep contrast from the rest of the groups happily chatting and drinking. The table was silent but your mind was not, still overthinking every word your companion had said. You were overthinking so much that you almost missed his quiet voice.
“I am going to miss you.” Osferth spoke and as soon as you looked at him again he seemed to flush. “And our conversations. Or friendly conversations as...friends.”
You wanted to laugh at the poor man in front of you. In the many months you had known Osferth you had never seen him that flustered in his life, cheeks and ears bright red and a stuttering mess.
“I’m going to miss you too Osferth. And our friendly meetings.” You placed your hand next to his on the table next to his, not wanting to overstep and make the poor man more uncomfortable.
He moved his hand carefully almost imperceptibly until his fingers touched yours and a warm feeling ran down your entire arm from your hand. He seemed to be the one deep in thought at the moment and you almost wished you could pick at his brain to see what was going on. Is that how he felt every time you zoned out?
“Maybe you could remember me-” “Of course I’m going to remember you Osferth, don’t be silly. You are not going to war, only a mission for the king.”
A nervous chuckle was the only thing he could let out now and his reactions were starting to worry you a bit. If it was only a small trip he shouldn't have been that nervous.
“Let me finish. Maybe if I gave you something that you could remember me by, it would be easier.”
“You don’t have to do that, Osferth. I will remember you anyways.” You tried to reason with him but you couldn’t stop him from moving to look for something in the pockets of his robes.
After a bit of fussing with the robes he placed his closed fist on top of your hand, opening it just enough for something small and metallic to fall into your hand. Moving your hand closer you found a small fragile chain that seemed to have been at least as old as you.
“It’s not much, just a scrap of metal if you try to sell it. But it was my mother’s, the only thing I have from her. I hid it from the monks when I was growing up so they wouldn’t take it away. Carried it into battle with me every time I’ve fought too.”
Every single word of the explanation seemed to make your throat close a bit more and your eyes glossier. You knew Osferth had no real memories with his mother and you could imagine how important that bracelet must have been for him.
“I can’t accept it, it’s so important to you. Why would you give it to me?” You debated with your head shaking and trying to push the chain into his hand again. “Don’t be silly, Osferth. It’s your mother’s bracelet.”
“You must keep it. Please.” He kept his fist tightly closed to avoid you giving him back the piece of jewelry. “I want you to have it.”
“But I don’t have anything to give you in return.”
You kept trying to pry his fist open, all in vain because he wouldn’t even budge. You wanted to get up and hug him for such a meaningful gesture and hit him at the same time for wanting to part with such a meaningful piece.
“You have.” He spoke, grabbing your hand and halting your movements. “Maybe you can give me your promise.”
You looked at him curiously at what his proposal might be. Maybe he just wanted you to take care of Lady Gisela, you knew how he saw her as the mother he never had. Or maybe he wanted you to care for Lord Uhtred’s children.
“You can promise me that once I’m back from Wincester you will allow me to properly court you.” He explained and you felt your heart stop. “I-If you want, of course.”
Courting Osferth was not something you had thought about, mainly because you had nothing to offer. Your parents didn’t have fields or many resources they could offer a prospective husband. And Osferth was a warrior, so you thought settling down seemed to be out of the picture for him. But you had to admit the idea made your stomach turn in the best way possible.
You realized you had been thinking for a long time and still hadn’t given an answer when you felt him squeezing your hand. Could you promise him something like that?
“I promise.” Of course you could, the idea of a lifetime with Osferth only made you more excited about life. “Only you have to promise me to come back soon.”
He nodded with enthusiasm, moving his hands to take the small chain from your delicate hand and clasp it around your wrist. This mission hadn’t even started and you already wanted it to end.
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Taglist: @webreathfandoms @thebohemianpenguin @emilyhufflepufftlk @solinarimoon
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jjkpls · 3 years
Text
the wishlist (m) - 6 (final)
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“Was it worth it?”
> genre : smut, angst, fluff
> pairing : jeon jungkook x reader (f)
> words : 15k (ugh sorry)
> content/warnings : back at it again w/ the bff2l; one sided love, LOTS of pining; sextoys talk and use; explicit language; explicit description of sex; phonesex; masturbation (f); dirtytalk; alcohol drinking; dubcon exhibitionism; ambiguous infidelity
previous - masterlist
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There's a lot of forgetting to get done. It wasn't the plan to get drunk. Maybe you should have known better than to confide the slightest about your heart and its aching to your two girlfriends. Because they don't have much of a solution to present you with. You meant to ask of them to divert your mind, make you laugh, feed you so much you'd fall into a food coma and wouldn't be able to think about anything else but sleep. Eventually, share their own dramas of the moment (they always have some) to get you so invested in their shits you wouldn't be thinking about your own.
You made the mistake of sharing, with probably too much preponderance in your tone, that Jungkook was back with his girlfriend.
Without any context clues -they didn't even know that he was single for approximately four days-, they knew. You're not that complicated to read when it comes to him. Only he seems to not get it.
You still remember the first time they found you out. They had a sense that something was up with this kid, that there couldn't just be a platonic, decade-old friendship based on nothing spicier than the tteokbokki you'd cook for him every now and then.
They only started believing, with utter incredulity, that it was true when they saw you, and him, and his girlfriend. All at the same time, sitting around the same table, there was no doubt left. No reason to believe that there's something unsaid existing. They saw your eyes though. The shine they gain whenever you'd be looking at him, laughing hard with all his teeth out, and the glassy look they took on whenever they'd catch a gesture, a touch that was meant only for Jiyeun.
You've never really gone into details. You've never ranted over the feelings, over him, everything that made him the one person for you. They saw you cry over him though, one drunken night, and it was enough to make them understand how deep you were in.
And perhaps it's your fault, that you wouldn't sort of train them to be the better friends they wish to be to you. They don't know what to say, what to do to console you. You don't even know what you need. Really, all you know, it's that you didn't feel able enough to take care of your tormented heart and mind alone tonight.
You are to blame if they dragged you to this bar, with the music too loud and the people too numerous, bumping their hips to yours attempting to coarse you into dancing. You hate every second of it. Every element that was supposed to distract you, help you forget, feel better, served as annoying distractions. You could picture yourself, dipped in a scorching hot bath, with a bowl of ice cream, weeping your eyes out like in the most cliche, most dramatic breaking down of your life. And it felt right, in your mind anyway, a thousand times better than this.
"Here!" Like the good girl that you are, you accept the shots. Min sets one in each of your hand and stares over the rim of her own glass, expecting. You roll your eyes. Swallow them down in one go and she yells, arms in the air, jumping like the night has just been made.
At least, she's entertained. Dancing her life away, kind of wilding out with too much energy, having to apologize every few seconds for knocking someone with an elbow or slapping another with her ponytail.
"Look, who's here!"
Your heart skips a beat then. Until you follow Mary's finger who's pointing rudely at Park Jimin. Park Jimin as in Jeon Jungkook's Park Jimin, one of his closest friends. He's dressed in all black, tight leather pants clawing to his legs, silk shirt half unbuttoned, perched on heeled Chelsea boots, dark black hair gelled back.
For a second, you worry, stupidly, if your friend is not going to appear, emerging from the thick crowd, carrying a drink, catching your eyes in the room. That's another thing you wouldn't need right now: seeing him. When you're in this weird state of sadness, guiltiness, of hopelessness and confusion. You'd probably be a mean bitch again. He doesn't deserve that.
For some time, you're just watching Jimin, being Jimin, dancing languorously, flashing smiles and winks so naturally; making everyone uncomfortable just because he's so attractive and so talented at catching people's attention and making them want him. It's just Jimin, hoeing out, as always. No Jungkook ever appears next to him. And while you sort of spy on him, there are the two dumb bitches next to you, drooling over him. Commenting about his ass, the way he moves his hips and how tight he seems to be in his pants.
"You should have fallen for him, dude!" It's the pinch to your arm that drags you back to the conversation, lets you know that you're the one Min is addressing. "What?" Your brain is already a bit slow. You haven't eaten much before leaving, drunk not much but too fast and forming intelligible sentences, translating your thoughts in their entirety is not a task easily doable at the moment. You meant to say something about how ridiculous they sound. About how it doesn't make any sense. About Jungkook and the things you feel for him, and the way you fell and how even when you suffer, like in this instance, you wouldn't change your heart because it's him, and only him, has been and might as well always be.
Why would you fall for Park Jimin?
"Jimin, you'd just ask him to fuck you and he'll do it."
"You can see he's a very generous slut."
It makes you wince. They're being fucking weird. Obnoxious, in their way of ogling him and quite disgusting talking about him. There's a smirk on the corner of Jimin's mouth and you wonder if maybe he's noticed them and is enjoying it. They don't mean to be offensive, you suppose, but they're still rude as hell.
"Useless Jungkook could never!"
Either you knock your friend out with your newly filled up glass or you drink it and attempt to swallow along your rage and that strange feeling that the open shirt Jimin is wearing has raised in you.
"Don't you wanna try him?" The question is absurd. You don't try people in general. But you'd never, ever, even think about trying someone as close as he is to Jungkook.
What the actual fuck?
"Fine! Don't give me those eyes!" Your brain and face connection is not that great at the moment that you'd know precisely what Mary is referring to. Soon after frowning and pouting through a sip of her drink, she's leaving, straight for the less crowded part of the bar, where people are dancing, where Jimin is showing off.
She needs less than thirty seconds to have him wrapped around her. Min is howling at your side like it's such an exploit. You don't want to bad mouth on your friend but it is, indeed, Jimin. Manwhore Jimin. And just like that, just because she walked in his vicinity, whispered something quickly to him, maybe just a simple greeting and a reminder of who she is, your friend, in case he couldn't make her out, and he's holding her tight, dancing, more like grinding against her, to her greatest pleasure, face buried in her hair, he seems to be uttering things directly in her ear. You catch her fingers reaching for the wide opening of his shirt, brushing against that tattoo you know to be there under his breast but have never gotten to really decipher, and he's leaving kisses on her shoulders. The next thing you see is his wide, wolf-like grin, now aiming straight at you.
You startle, almost let your glass shatter to the ground from the surprise. That seems to make him laugh. He waves a hand quickly your way and for some reasons, it sends a sudden flaming flush to your cheeks. That guy is such a cunt-tease, he's awful. No wonder people talk so crudely about him.
"I need to get plastered." You mumble, probably not loud enough for Min, whose arm you're dragging along on your way to the bar, to hear.
You may have thought, for a split second, of a fantasy. You may have reshaped the scene taking place in front of you to make it more suitable to you, to make it as self-indulgent as you could. With you replacing Mary, with Jungkook replacing Jimin. She made it seem so easy and for the briefest of moments, it felt like it was realisable. As if the only step missing, the only thing making it not real yet, is the first step, the one Mary took by just walking up to him and asking him to dance, maybe for you to be his for a while.
Then Jimin looked over, with his dark eyes and pretty luscious lips, his very sexy aura and everything that makes him him, and it all felt down to the ground. That's ridiculous.
That would never work.
Maybe hot men with the most endearing hearts that you really desire are not to be seduced by you. It just wouldn't happen. Jungkook would never, as she said. What a shame.
You should have fallen for someone easier like Jimin. He's not one person's man, that's for sure, but at least, he would have been great at pretending to be yours for a moment.
Now you really need to get drunk.
There's pure guilt boiling in the pit of your stomach. Because you've never denied your feelings for Jungkook. He deserves them. He deserves to be loved by everyone. Deeply and passionately. And no matter how true, how pure, how intense those feelings are, he never owes to reciprocate, does he? And here you are, greedy stupid little you, sad and angry because of course, he couldn't love you back like that. Not when there's fucking Jiyeun in the way. Jiyeun or any fucking one else, right?
He's not making it easy for you. Everything he does is making your life harder. As if it wasn't enough on its own already.
Everything he does.
Like buying you these fucking toys you need a science degree to operate.
Sort of.
Maybe you don't need a science degree. Maybe a sober head would be enough to make a toy you've never used before function.
You don't have that at the moment. You're in your favourite pyjamas - an extra-large, greyed by time tee-shirt you stole from Jungkook back in high school - and panties - because it sounded like way too much effort to find shorts or joggings and slip them on. You've managed, somehow, you don't even remember doing it, to make your bed all cosy and welcoming, a perfect backrest made of your fluffiest pillows.
The little toy, this orange thing, sort of shaped like a fat bunny, a big, rounded body with two straight little ears, pointed upwards. It's supposed to be fully charged. It's been disinfected. It's just waiting for you to use.
Except it's the last one Jungkook had bought for you, you didn't get to use it yet, to even turn it on once, nor read its instructions. And here you are, past two am, trying, with your sloppy brain, your blurry eyes, and your impatient cunt, to understand how it works. There's an app linked to it. This much you got from the big, unmissable QR code occupying the first page of the three-page long manual that your eyes won't read.
You picked up your phone, went through the violent burning of your eyes when the screen lit up too close to your face, scanned the code, installed the app and here you are, stuck.
The app won't let you turn the fucking toy on. There's a message that keeps coming up every time you try to link the app to the toy. But the message is written in grey, on white, and you can't see shit and you don't have the patience to decrypt it. Maybe if you close it, and try running it again, and try scanning the code again, and just click on the button that appears under the message, whatever it says, maybe it'll work.
Except it doesn't. After a certain number of times (keeping up with the counting is another thing you can't do well right now) the app keeps on being a bitch. Keeps being difficult and reluctant, and unwilling to let you fucking get off and go to sleep.
You're on the verge of tears.
Why would it be so fucking difficult to make a fucking sex toy work?
Why?
You're so annoyed and impatient and angry now and it's all Jungkook's fault anyway.
You can't try to go to sleep, no matter how tipsy you are, because your brain is filled up with this asshole and won't let you alone. You can't fuck yourself to sleep because the toy you've picked - and for totally irrational reasons you feel like you can not switch to another one - won't let you and it's his. His fucking present. Fucking poisoned gift.
He makes everything worse. Everything difficult. And the more your eyes fill up with frustration tears, the more you're reminded that he's also the answer. He's the worst and the best part of your existence.
Of course, you'd call him.
"I could be sleeping." His voice is light and clear. He wasn't any close to be asleep. He's probably gaming or something. You're so thankful for his voice, the lovely thing, the comforting thing, that you don't even get mad at his aforehand teasing.
"Jungkook-" It's not a call of his name. It's a whine, almost a lament at this point. Tiny high tone, overly dragged vowels. Something like Juunggooo, and he must recognize the tone straight away because he starts laughing in your ear. You bite on your bottom lip hard, almost draw blood, squeeze your fist over your heart, as if it could help it handle it better.
You love him, you love him, you love him.
"Went out with the girls?" You hum as an answer. "Had a little too much fun, sweatheart?"
"No fun at all."
He's laughing again. His sly, mocking chuckle. He's too himself for you to get mad at him. He's too cute when he sounds boyish and happy like that.
"No fun?" He's having fun, it's hearable. It might be because you sound like a dumb, whiny kid. "Why is that?"
"Just cause." He hums like he understands. You hear mockery in it. He sounds a bit distant. As if he's not totally paying attention, as if you're really a four-year-old kid rambling some non-sense after school and their parent just barely pretends to be interested. "Junggooo, I'm trying to have my fun now but your thing is being mean to me."
"What thing?" He's definitely doing something else. He speaks a bit slow, you can picture his gaze far from you. And of course, it'd be, he couldn't even see you even if he tried. It's still vexing. He really doesn't want you to have him all for yourself. Why not fucking Jimin?
"The orange bunny you got me." You explain patiently, pouting a bit. You try your best not to have your vexation be too loud but it's hard. "I tried the app but it won't let me."
"The orange-" You hear it when the gears click. He even gasps a bit. You kind of brought it up out of nowhere when you accommodated him with your constant complains and fights pretty much each time he wanted to talk about this subject. And here you are, opening up a conversation on one of them. You kind of get where the shock is coming from. "Oh, the Gala thing." He even knows its name. "What- How isn't it working?"
"The app says I'm too drunk to use it." You quetch, glaring at the toy laying flat on its back next to you. The asshole.
"The app says what?"
"Jeon Jungkook! Are you even listening to me?" Hysteria was to be expected. Because here you are sad and drunk and horny and highly frustrated and it seems he keeps making you repeat everything. And of course, he would because he can't give you his undivided attention now, can he? Because he's not a generous slut like Park Jimin, he's a useless prick. And if he keeps being one, and he keeps upsetting you, you promise to yourself, as an act of self-love and self-respect, you'll tell him he should be better, he should be more like Park Jimin.
"I am, baby, but I'm confused."
Except he doesn't need any bettering, does he?
It's like he's heard your thoughts. Like somehow, even with the distance separating your two apartments, he's been able to read them directly on the lines of your heart. He knows what you need, the soft and gentle and tender Jungkook who takes care of you, the one that doesn't show often, especially now that you don't really go out and get pissed off drunk together, now that you don't expose the sad episodes you might have to him in fear of being precisely confronted to this perfect torture. Maybe he heard your mind calling Park Jimin's name too many times and he tries to ensure his position. You almost tell him not to bother. That it was just a taunt, it's always him, just him, will ever be.
"What does the message say?"
"That I'm too drunk and stupid to use it."
"I don't think that's what's written, baby."
"But-" You're seriously going to cry in a second. You don't even know from what. The app really succeeded in hurting your feelings by not working for you and he keeps calling you baby, it makes your whole inside boil and scorch like a puddle of lava. "It's invisible letters, how am I supposed to read exactly?"
"If you can't read maybe you should just go to bed for now, hm? Figure it out tomorrow."
"No, now." Full brat mode is on. You know if only he was sitting next to you, you would have raised a hand to pinch him right on the back of his upper arm -where it really stings. It works usually. You don't hurt him, the guy is basically made of muscles, he's the kind of work out junkie that's enjoying the pain. He wouldn't fucking mind your tiny attempt of an attack, no matter the amount of anger and frustration powering it.
By telephone though, it's even harder to make him do something. Possibly undoable. The only weapon that you have is your annoying screeching voice. "You fix it! You bought this shitty thing so you fix it."
"I forgot how rude you get when you're drunk." He's still making fun of you. Not taking you that seriously.
"Jungkook, I'm seriously going to cry." The worst part is that you mean it. If regular menaces won't do, surely affection blackmailing should be more effective.
"Don't cry, it's fine. I'll check. Don't hang up."
As if. You did not plan on hanging up. Ever. You've decided.
It's too nice, cuddled up in your bed, with his voice, smooth and soft, saying words that you really like, like baby, in your ear. You've decided this moment won't ever stop.
"Junggoo-"
"One second, baby." You don't have one fucking second. You don't have any fucking second to spare him. When he's made you horny and lonely and longing for so fucking long. Why would you spare him any more? He takes too long. The time he takes, you prophet, will precisely be the time your vagina will need to dry out entirely.
Even his soft voice calling you baby won't serve to make you wet again.
That's a lie.
It makes you groan. Asshole, asshole, asshole.
"Oh." Your ears perk up. He's back with you, his voice closer than before, it seems, when he starts explaining, a hint of guilt shadowing his tone. "Sorry, it's my fault."
"Of course, it is." You mumble, face deep in your pillows. "Jungkook! Everything's your fault, always." You're probably being unfair. Or maybe not. Is he responsible for making you fall for him or are you to blame for doing so? Turns out, it doesn't really matter, because he doesn't even pay attention to the blatant, telling, honest truth you've just spurred.
"When I received the package I tried it once."
"Tried?" Did he really? The cute little bunny-shaped thing you'd dismissed earlier, cursed at and threw daggers at suddenly looks different to you. You want to pick it up and maybe place a kiss on the top.
"Wait- Not like that! I didn't actually try it! I don't have a fucking clit, what-"
"You just said that!"
"I meant, I tried turning it on and linking it with the app, just to see how it worked. Like the options on the app."
"Oh." Makes more sense.
"Anyway, it's not working for you because I used my email with it and you can only have one." So many words. God. "I have to invite you. Or delete my account and then you make one with your QR code."
You turn into the whiniest, most irritating little thing then. Just a jumble of dramatic cries, something almost sorrowful because your issue appears impossible to deal with. It's not that complicated. He explained it. Too many words, too much thinking, too much paying attention, too much to do and too much delay. How does he expect you to do it when you can't even read the invisible font of the app?
"Fucking invite me then."
"Watch your mouth." It makes you roll your eyes. It's not the first time he says that. He says with this menacing growl at the end. Like he means it. Like he's really threatening you. But no matter how far you go, no matter how many times you curse at him, he never acts on it. You want to tell him, you almost do, to stop promising you things he won't ever give you. There's a ping coming from your phone. With a bit of a struggle, you manage to put the speakers on, so that he doesn't leave too far whilst you take a look at the message. A link to click on. Not that hard, it's bright blue, unmissable. It leads you back to the bitchy app.
Now it's all nice to you. It lets you enter, presents even a picture of your own toy, congratulates you for being linked to it and to Jungkook's account. Of course, it would. Now that it knows you're friends, now that he's in the thing, this bitch of an app is being nice.
There are a lot of symbols, every-fucking-where. Some wavier than others. One is shaped like a music note. Some are just little constellations of dots. You click somewhere, just to try and see if anything happens and it does.
Suddenly, the bunny is brought to life and starts purring furiously on the bed. It startles you, looks a bit intimidating. It sounds angry and complicated with all of these fucking options. At least the other toys he's gotten for you had at most two buttons, one to turn it on and off, and the other one to regulate the three levels of intensity.
You might actually need a science degree to use that. Simply to adjust it so it's not attacking you when you turn it on.
You press another button. The setting changes instantly. It starts vibrating in a jerkier way instead of one straight line of frequency.
Tentatively, you grab it, sort of unimpressed and dubious as to the way this would feel good on you. You've already grown grudges against it. It needs to impress you, prove to you that it's worthy of the effort and of you even bringing it to your precious temple.
It sucks at convincing you. You've brought it to your panties and tee covered crotch, pressed it there, waiting, and it doesn't do much. It vibrates. Weirdly. It stops and goes again, in a pattern you don't understand and it doesn't do much for you. Doesn't turn you on, doesn't make you wet. Doesn't stimulate in any positive way.
You reach for your phone with one hand, trying to keep the other one holding it against you, and it's here that the whole thing fucks up for the last time you can tolerate.
How are you supposed to fucking do that?
Don't they understand that? The people that make those fucking things? That they're going to be used mostly by single people, with a single pair of hands? How are you supposed to manage holding it up where you need it, whilst simultaneously, hold your phone up (everyone fucking knows holding a phone up with one hand, and tap on the fucking screen, especially laid in bed, is impossible and the worst fucking idea one could have - except if getting a black eye is the project) and control the intricate dashboard.
"For fuck's sake!"
"What is it?" Jungkook is sighing heavily in your room. And for a second, you're startled almost off of your own bed. You managed to forget he was even still here, on the other line, apparently waiting patiently for- for what exactly? Maybe for you to wish him goodnight and hang up. You literally forgot he was here. You were about to get yourself off -if only this shitty thing wasn't so shitty- whilst he was still here on the phone.
Why doesn't it mortify you?
"How am I supposed to use my phone and the thing at the same time? Why- How? Jungkook!"
"Stop saying my name like that!" You don't ask because you know exactly how you're saying it. There's no proper balance in your tone tonight. Either you're whining his name like a desperate brat, either you're pestering it like a disappointed, aggravated mom.
"I'm going to cry." You say again, lying this time. You've already started. It's not a lot yet. Just a puddle of tears, in each of your eyes that are just about to spill, and the prickling sensation at the tip of your nose, the latter has already starting sniffling uncontrollably.
"Why?" He sighs again. This time, it's gentler. He might have just found the key to the secret safe holding the very last drops of indulgence he hides deep inside his kind heart. "Baby, the app is really for couples."
"But I'm not a couple, I just wanna cum."
"Y/N-" He chokes on your name. "There are buttons on the toy for you to use. You don't have to use your phone, okay?"
"You're lying."
"Why would I be lying? Look! There are fucking buttons."
There are, indeed. But they suck, you think. You do try them. Pressing on them while you stretch your arms out to keep the bunny's ears close to your covered clit. It's so much work. You don't get it. The buttons are hard to press on, when you manage to activate the little monster, it just jabs against your centre, falls over from your hand. You hate the jerking motion, try to change it because clearly, it won't do. It doesn't work. The buttons suck, the toy sucks and Jungkook is cursing at you instead of helping.
"What do you want me to do? Baby, I'm- Just go to bed."
You hate that he's telling you to go to bed, again. He's probably right. You're being a pain, an embarrassing one at that. You can't just go yet, though. First of all, the very reason you called in the first place, for him to make it so you can fuck yourself to sleep, has not been effectively resolved. And on top of that, the very resolution you took earlier, the one of never hanging up, of never drawing a period to this moment, won't let you.
"This one sucks ass."
"It doesn't." He sounds calm, a bit quiet, tone low and collected. You wonder if he'd dropped whatever he was doing, whatever distraction and laid in bed like you, to listen and talk to you only. That would be nice. You're annoying as hell, poor him, he deserves better, but you're thankful for him.
"It's stabbing, how can it be nice?"
"You just- I don't even know why I'm arguing with you. You're drunk."
"Am not, you are."
He scoffs, doesn't bother insisting. He exhales deeply. You sigh as deep. Your lids are heavy. Your brain is fuming too. Your head feels fuzzy. You could sleep right now. You might make a terrible night. You might have nightmares. You might wake up in a few hours, hot and very bothered, frustrated and on edge. There's a little ping messing with an edge of your eyebrow. You know it'll grow into a headache soon.
"Junggoo..." You whimper as if he could help you. As if he's the key to this headache, to lock it away, along with the rest of your tormented feelings.
"You're tired, baby." He comments. You would bite if you were in front of him. He really wants to send you to bed. "Just go to sleep."
You should. Given that you need a good five minutes to find the energy to open your mouth and mumble, "Don't wanna."
"Then what is it that you want?"
"Told you."
"Hm?" You're not saying it again. You could fall asleep right now. With his slow breathing in your ear. It sounds so lovely. Feels like you've never been this nicely enveloped. It's like those ASMR or lo-fi music compilation videos on YouTube. The ones with the short scene, often animated, playing on the screen. It's instant peace, instant chill, purely quiet, greatly pleasant. You love these sceneries. You even have a few printed on your wall. They are great to look at and try to project in, because it seems you could never create this feeling, this atmosphere in real life.
But you've reached it. Now. The perfect peaceful land. With the perfect soundtrack coming through your phone. You're comfy and warm, it's almost as if he was actually there with you, wrapped behind you, stroking your hair. God, you wish he was there stroking your hair and kissing the top of your head. But he's not here. And why? He should be here. If he can be on the phone with you, when he used to come over to make sure the blanket is nicely tucked under your chin, why can't he be here? Life's so unfair.
"What was that?" He's probably referring to the big loud thump, throwing his toy to the ground made. It's not its fault. Even if it hurt your feelings, it's not responsible for him not being yours. Or maybe it is. He wouldn't give you toys if he were yours. He wouldn't need them. That's probably why Jiyeun doesn't like them. Because she wants him to be all that's pleasuring her. The lucky lucky bitch.
"Your stupid toy."
"Don't- do you know how much it cost?"
"Never told you to buy it."
"Sure, but don't break it! I promise it's good. You can't-"
"It stabbed me!" You accuse, petty.
"You- are insufferable." He sounds about done. Except he's not because he seems to want to prove you wrong, still. The toy on the ground starts shaking back to life. Curiously, you roll on your belly, throw a glance to the ground. It's stirring, moving around slowly, getting closer to you as if it's trying to hop back up on the bed. "Pick it up."
You do as you're told. It's vrooming lightly, quieter than you expected. You can hardly feel it in your palm. The movement more noticeable from the timid sound than by the intensity.
"Oh. It's nice now." Maybe it does have a conscience. It's being all sweet and mellow because the remote is in Jeon Jungkook, international heartthrob's hands.
"See?"
It's really gentle. It turns cute. With its bright orangy-red shade, its two cute ears and its belly, a bit domed to allow a better grip.
Your hand has a mind of its own. If he were to ask about it, to demand an explanation, even when you'll come later, and wonder mad and revolted and half dying of embarrassment, what the fuck came over you, you'd blame it all on your hand. The appendix and its own personal free will are bringing the thing back to your crotch. "You can switch the intensity, it was just at the highest before." You're hardly aware of Jungkook still talking in your ear. The phone on speaker is still laying on the pillow next to you and he's selling it to you, while demonstrating, as if he's signed a sponsorship with the brand. It could be funny but you don't really care, more curious about The Gala and finally getting to know it.
Soon enough you realize that two layers of clothing, no matter how thin, are too much. You lift the hem of his tee, exposing your panties and the lines of your mound, showing through the tissue. It makes sense then, the shape of the thing. It has those two straight ears, or poles, with enough space in between, to tuck your clit comfortably. If you'd like. And you're not sure it won the privilege just yet.
For now, it'll have it but still over your panties. They're so flimsy that really the fitting isn't too far from its initial conceptualized use. "And the modes- see," It's jerky again. It goes for a couple of beats very quick short pulses and then there's a long, monotone one until the pulses come back again. You don't like that one. It's gentler than the one from earlier, that tried to attack your clit with an angry strong beating though. "You can just switch. If you don't like the fast pulses, you don't have to use it. You just try it out." You guess he's right. You just have to try it, tame it. Learn its functions and let it learn you. Probably. Sounds like a lot of work though. The other ones were really straight forward. Good, excellent for some - special shout out to the clit hoover, which is not actually vacuuming but blowing air, which made you cum so fast and so hard in the very first two minutes of trying it. You'd turn it on and it'd do the job. Next to your ear, rambling like a radio you'd forget to turn off in another room, Jungkook is explaining how there are dozens of preset patterns and an infinite amount of slots for personal creations.
It's okay. Sounds like it would do the job. You can already tell how you'll use it if you ever decide to give it a second chance after tonight. Pressed tight against your button, turned a bit higher, in a very basic, very classic constant monotone vibration.
He's switched it to another stabbing like pulsing, very fast and aggressive, you can tell they meant to imitate the pattern of a good pounding but it does little to nothing to your excitation. Really all it does is make your eyebrows frown and your premise of a headache is back. "Hate that one."
"Change it." Kindly, he complies. Another one. You can't really identify it. Maybe a slower thrusting. It's better than the last one simply because it doesn't nearly hurt. Doesn't do much good either. But maybe it's not doing much over your panties though therefore curiously, with eyebrows furrowed now in concentration, you lift the waistband up with a finger and slip the bunny under it. Tentatively, you try to set it nicely where it should be resting, your clit out in the open, hugged tightly by the two ears replacing your lips. It's kinda nice. Barely though.
"So is-"
"Wait, turn it up a bit. I can't even tell what that's doing." You mumble maybe a tiny bit petty, a bit bad faith remaining from the bad impression the toy gave you. It's not that you want to hate because you've decided you would. It's more intricate than that. You're too tipsy to even try and explain that though.
"That one is-" After a while, doesn't do much. The higher setting, you suspect he hasn't gotten up a lot, hardly helps. It does vibrate but it doesn't seem to reach enough, your clit hardly feels anything. Your electrical toothbrush from your horny teenage years used to do a better job at being a vibrator -and this even over your jeans.
You're this close to throwing it to the ground again and give up on it, once and for all. Jungkook would need to understand. It's not because he spent a lot on it, it's not because that strange lady he keeps mentioning insisted on its good, that you are forced to appreciate it. You don't see the fucking point of this one. It does look cute and expensive but is pretty much useless. No one needs a pretty, expensive but awful friend.
"It sucks."
For a few seconds, he doesn't say anything. You consider that he might have even hung up. But then, in the quiet, his voice too serious for him not to have taken what you said personally breaks out. "You're mean."
"I think- I think it's a good opportunity to decide- uh..." The toy is still active in your panties, under your palm. The realization slowed your process of thought for a second but the bigger conclusion that it brings is that really, it sucks. So bad you even forgot it was still on -and it's not you being too drunk to have a fully, 360 awareness of your body, honestly. "To decide collectively that you need, you have to stop buying me those."
"They're not all bad! You loved the other ones!" He accuses, apparently not up for the collective decision. You are probably made of confusion at this point. How many more does he feel the need to get you? Is it that great, that gigantic, that tragic of a frustration that he developed by his girlfriend not liking these that he feels the need to bury you alive with thousands of those? The secretive shelf at the bottom of your dresser already holds little to no place left for another pretty box. And as to the satin bag you use to store the toys themselves, in your bedside table's drawer, you can't even close it anymore.
"When have I ever said that? We talked about one, I said it's fine."
"That's not what you said." Honestly, right now, you have no idea what you said. You know that you didn't find great easiness in talking about them. You've never mentioned any and he never did either, apart from the very first one. You did say something positive about it, you think you can recall. "I don't listen to you anyway because I know how bad of a liar you are."
"Well great. Blatantly admitting you don't care about my feelings-"
He bursts out in laughter. You might be a little bit of a drama queen right now. The hand that is not holding the bunny against your mound -for reasons you don't care to address to yourself, probably for you being so lazy that it feels more like an effort to change your hand's doing, take out and put away the toy, rather than just leave it there quiet and not really bothering- did reach for your chest, in a very theatrical embodiment of an offence.
"That's not what I said, you brat."
"That's what I heard though."
"I said I don't trust your mouth when the rest of you is saying something else entirely." You roll your eyes. Hopefully loud enough for him to hear it on his side of the call. "It's my new passion." He starts, giggling like an idiot. "I won't stop for as long as orgasms will look this good on you."
Oh. My God.
Is he allowed to say that? Is he allowed to say shit like that with the most calm you've ever heard anyone speak with? Like it's normal. Like it's a simple fact. Like the word orgasm in itself isn't so foreign in his mouth. Somehow he makes it sound incredible, so delicious you feel the first proper impulse to your pussy.
"You've never seen it." You counter, uneasy, feeling somehow unbalanced and unprepared against what is probably a simple conversation to him but a real personal attack with too great of weapons to you.
"I've seen the aftermath. I told you already." You wish he'd be more explicit. His words are confusing. They're not telling enough. They can be so much, they might not mean anything. He speaks softly, tranquilly, almost whispers in your ear. It's simply late. It's more appropriate, it feels, to speak quietly like that. It's one of those midnight talks.
He wouldn't know whenever he is seducing you. He's doing it constantly without meaning to. It's just him being himself and you being too weak for him. How could you make out his intentions now?
"You really-" The toy twitches in your hand. He clicked on the switch button of his app again. You're not sure why. From the way he speaks, he might not even have realised. He might be playing with the thing, mindlessly, the way he does when he picks at the skin of his fingers when he talks. He must be because he's still in his own head, talking while the thing, the barely interesting thing, turns into something else. Entirely. It's a wave-like pattern. Growing from pure stillness to a slow, growing vibration that ends in an intense climax. You gasp. He doesn't seem to hear. "You really don't want me to get you any more?"
The second wave hits. "Oh- God."
"I mean- I thought, we were- that it was okay." The sensation is incredible. For some reasons, a technology you don't fucking understand, you wouldn't fucking understand now, every single build hits insanely hard. Each time as intense if not better. You're so close to moaning. If you haven't really taken a second to realize what you were doing, actually using the toy with him on the phone, without him even knowing, somehow you know you need to remain quiet. You can't moan out loud. You sigh loud though. You have to. "I swear with you it's so hard to tell-" It's so hard to keep quiet and the realization brings a grin to your face. You're not that vocal usually. Sometimes you are, with some of the surprisingly good sessions Jungkook's presents have been offering you. But it was conscious. It was you enjoying, wanting to build a bigger pleasure, make it more sensational, it turned you on a bit, you had to admit, to hear yourself. The pleasure the toy is bringing you right now is indescribable. The more you leave it pressed to your clit, the more you feel the heat grow. You know it's already too much. You hiss and sigh, and have to bite back moans each time the high top of the wave comes. It's too much and feels like not enough.
The greedy you would want the final hit of the wave to last longer than those very few seconds. Long enough to bring you there, make you fall over the top of the hill. But it's a teasing setting. Probably programmed specifically for overstimulation. You squirm and bite back whines each time it comes, flinch and have to fight to not tear the ears away because you know the sensation is a lot to handle, too much stimulation, yet you're already addicted, unable to act on the very fair, logical, and sensible decision you should make. You shouldn't even be pleasuring yourself with him on the fucking phone.
"Are you okay?"
Jungkook asks, after having stopped talking altogether for a minute too long but it's not like you were really in any state of mind to acknowledge it.
You don't think he's noticed yet. From the noise, hopefully little, that you were making, at most, he should be able to hear some sort of short breathing, for all you know, he might think nausea is visiting from all the alcohol you've consumed and you're heaving, on the verge of throwing up.
"You're not feeling well, Y/N?" It's his concerned tone. The serious one. The one he uses whenever there's no skip button to the conversation. Usually, it leads to him coming over to take care of you like he's your mother. Which sounds great in theory but doesn't always apply wonderfully in practice.
Sometimes you don't want him to see you looking green and gross from fever sweat; sometimes you just want to be alone and recover on your own without having him watching so dramatically concerned over your shoulder. And now, you wouldn't want him to burst in with your hand still in your panties, a sweaty, bothered, horny mess for him to be left shocked and possibly disgusted by. Maybe disgusted is a big word. Or maybe it's not. How inappropriate is it to masturbate with an unknowing friend on the other end of your phone? Is it even legal?
"I'm fi-fine, Jungkook." You lie through gritted teeth. You can't possibly be fine. You've put yourself in the worst situation and you still don't do shit to get out of it. Something is very much wrong with you.
The logical thing to do, the sensible one, would be to either end the conversation, hang up and then eventually finish yourself; or else, take the thing out of your panties, possibly throw it the further away from you and keep the conversation on if that's what you wish to do.
It would certainly not be to ask for him to turn up the setting because you now really much want to come.
"You don't sound fine."
"But I am."
"How much did you drink?"
"Not that much, Guk." He makes you frown, almost rips a curse out of you. Because all this serious talk is diverting you from your pleasure. It's not like you're going to have fucking alcohol poisoning. You didn't drink that much, honestly. The drinks were not even that heavy, except for the two disgusting shots your friend forced in your hands. "Seriously, I'm good." The building up pleasure has brought a new awareness to your brain, and honestly, you feel way more alert than before. You're far from drunk, no matter how much your behaviour seems to contradict that. You're good. You'd be perfect if he'd shut up or if he'd start half seducing you as he does. Maybe he could talk about your nipples again and what you should do with them.
He did say that. Now that you come to think of it. On top of buying you those toys, he did guide you as to what to do with some of them, how you could use them. They were not his direct advice, they were the lady's but still, he felt the importance to share them with you.
"If you are then just answer the question, how much?"
"Okay in a sec but can you turn up the toy's intensity, please?"
"Turn what?" You almost bark then. The whistling f of a very practical, very useful word you shouldn't yell at him rings to your own ear but you're strong enough to hold back. "Ah the thing, yeah, sure." What a sweetheart. A bit slow, but lovely. Your whole body contracts violently when the newly powered wave hits, the beginning of a moan escaping because it's so good, it's almost painful. "I had like two shots of-" Ah. "Something. I don't know what it was, just-" Fuck. "Gross as- uh." Holy shit, that's good.
You can't believe you've judged this intricate, revolutionary technology so bad before. "And then, like, a martini or two, barely and- and-" You're so fucking close. Each time feels like the final ascension except you get back to square one whenever the vibration drops back to stillness too quick to your liking. It's pure torture. And having to make a fucking list of your consumption that's so far back in your brain right now, especially when you know that it's pointless, is not helping.
"Wait-"
"Jungkook-" You don't know if you're begging him to stop thinking now, not get to the conclusion his logical train of thoughts is trying to lead him to, or if you're begging him to help you cum, maybe be nice to the bunny which only seems to be kind to him and make him make you cum.
"Why did you ask me to turn the thing up?" He already knows the answer. You can hear in his tone that he already knows. And frankly, he's a dumb ass for not realizing sooner. "No, you're joking. You wouldn't- not when I'm talking to you."
"When if not then?" Maybe frustration has brought you some bravery, or maybe pleasure has burned the very last remaining functioning cells of your brain.
"Uh?"
It's probably gone too far now. It still feels like he owns the key to the phenomenal orgasm you can smell coming. If you were to hang up now, you wouldn't even know how to make this shitty thing work. And it's not enough. Still.
Shit.
You're definitely wailing in a second now. The next sound you mean to conceal is a sob. Why can't you reach it? And how can you be so hyper-focused on it, it doesn't seem to matter what's going on with Jungkook.
You've gone crazy. Or perhaps you're drunker than you thought yourself to be. The last wave hits differently. It's straight-up overstimulation when you haven't even come once yet. Doesn't feel very nice but at least, it's the push you need to finally lift it up a bit, make a pause and eventually show some consideration to Jungkook.
"So you've been arguing with me, saying it sucks when really you were-"
"It did suck before you changed the setting." You assert again. Because nagging is the thing you're most talented at doing, apparently.
Silence ensues. In the defeating quiet you realize even the discreet humming of the toy has stopped. He's turned it off.
Something akin to shame is finally showing the tip of its nose. It's been fucking late to the party, you note with a growing, you know to become, devastating mortification. Exhaustion and tipsiness are keeping your conscience quite numb but you don't give a chance to sober-you who'll wake up tomorrow with this awful incident engraved in her memory.
Why can't he say something? Essentially, it's his fault. It's always his fault. He makes you feel things you shouldn't and make you do things you wouldn't. You can't think properly. You're being fucking chaotic and he's responsible for that. Even you know it's reaching. You're not that petty and mean.
In a whisper, dipped in sincerity and shame, you apologize. "Sorry, Jungkook."
"For what?" Because he can't let you off the hook that easily, can he?
"Are you seriously going to make me say it? You know why!" Here comes angry-you again. Getting mad and rude for no rational reasons, and here, awfully unfairly. He really deserves better.
"No, I-" You may have broken him. Jungkook has never been the most eloquent person. Between lisping and stuttering and stopping mid-sentence to let you complete for him his missing words, he's never been the best at talking. But even for him, even knowing his history, you find him pretty affected. Possibly all messed up. There's not even the hint of sensible thought. A void filled with "uh" and "tsk" and lips smacking and hums, it's like he's ceased to function. Maybe if you just hang up and from then on, just pretend it's never happened, both of you can get away with the situation. It's an option.
"Jungkook, seriously, I'm sorry. Let's say it was a fucking, uh, drunk lapse of judgment on my part and- yeah, never mention it again."
"Yeah, okay." He whispers after a while. He sounds really shaken up. "But it's fine, I'm not mad, I'm just-"
"Bamboozled?" You suggest, heart constricted, not ready to joke yet but so desperate to obtain at least a smile from him to prove yourself that it's okay and you didn't fuck it up too bad.
"Bamboozled, indeed." He chuckles, a bit breathless on the phone. You can't help the big sigh that escapes you when relief rushes through you. He doesn't sound too upset with you. "I'm really not mad, I just wouldn't have- I wouldn't have expected this, from you."
Of course not. It makes you cringe. You bury your face in your pillow and release the most intense quiet cry you could manage.
"Sorry." You say again, quiet. Your eyes are prickly. This night is such a mess. You can't make out how you're feeling. It's like your reactions and your reflections all come to their own rhythm, inappropriately, unmatching each other's and certainly unmatching the current situation.
"Stop. And don't-" If you're decomposing yourself progressively, at least, he seems to be getting back to his senses. Voice clearer and more present. "You sound so upset now. Are you embarrassed?" It's a smile you hear in his words. You don't have the right to be mad at him but honestly, you would have hit him in the ribs if he were in front of you.
"Is it even necessary to ask?" You grumble face half suffocating still in the pillow. Oh, here's another solution. Suffocating yourself to death.
"I think so. I mean I bought them and I turned it on for you, I should have- I couldn't have known but I should have. It's fine honestly."
"It's not."
Stop pretending, you fucking liar. Even if he acts quite calm, nonchalant, you can hear a very slight difference to his usual tone. He's not sincerely, honestly, a hundred per cent okay and chill with the situation. He's faking casualness but he's not entirely it.
"It is."
"It's not. I'm just gonna die, Jeon." That makes him laugh even though you're only half-joking. You don't know if it's possible to die from embarrassment. One thing is for sure, if it's possible, you won't survive the night.
"No, you're not, baby. It's fine." Jeon Jungkook is the sweetest, needless to say. You should hang up. Apologize again, hang up and pray for him to forgive you and eventually forget all about it. But you remain on the phone because you're so desperate for his approbation and his love and any sign of reassurance from him. And he's giving it to you. When he could probably have a little rest of his own. If it's awkward for you, you can't even imagine for him. But he accepts to stay and reassures you. What a cutie. "Did you cum?"
You choke on your own saliva. More than taken aback, actually shocked. How dares he?
Or can you say that? Can you act offended when you've just done what you did? In any case, how are you even supposed to answer that question?
"You- It's just that I turned it off and we- I was just wondering if you did..." That sounds about right. That sounds like Jungkook being curious and wording this curiosity without necessarily anticipating how you'd take it. It must be part of his plan, his 'let's be the closest, let's share everything' plan he mentioned a few months back. You're not ready, won't ever be if that's what it'll look like.
You are the problem. Apparently, you can get yourself off when the poor boy is on the phone with you unbeknownst, but you still have a hard time talking about sex with him. "...because it sounds awful if you did not."
And it is. It is horrible. You'd imagine that after getting caught, feeling so embarrassed and guilty, your cunt wouldn't still be quivering and begging for you to pay attention to it again. But you've taken it so far. Made it discover new incredible sensations of course it'd still be obsessed with it and with the climax the toy teased it with.
You groan in your pillow again. Not sure how he'll interpret it. Not sure how you want him to interpret it. Should you just talk to him? He could hang up too. If really he didn't want to partake in this mess he could hang up, he could talk about anything else.
"Listen, you don't ever have to be embarrassed with me, you know that." That's reaching. You want to tell him that he can't ever say that to someone, he can't ever become anyone's mat to wipe their dirty shoes on. He should be the one feeling awkward, being mad at you, except he reassures you again. "And when you just proceed on getting yourself off while I was talking- worrying about your fucking health..." He snorts before he can finish. "How dare you act coy with me!" He's just laughing too hard now, contributing wholeheartedly to the burning flush on your cheeks. Well, you deserved it.
"Is that it? You're going to bring this up each time you'd want something from me?" You sound so upset, even to your own ears. It results in his laughter dying down pretty quickly.
"I think so, yeah." You don't add anything. You don't want to be rude. Still hope for any kind of magic word you don't even know that he could mutter to you and that'll help cure your heart and soul. Therefore you can't tell him goodbye and hang up. You wait for him to do it. Except he doesn't. It's late as fuck too. He might be working later today. Why isn't he hanging up? "If I'm talking about it, you should know that it's fine. I don't mind." An asshole and a cutie. "You okay, babe?"
The simple hum you tried to aim for turns into half of a whimper half of a moan. You're not okay. Any part of your being won't let you lie and pretend.
"Do you want me to turn it on?" For fuck's sake. "I'll hang up and leave it on so you just- it'll turn itself off when there's no battery left anyway."
"Jungkook." Your stern voice is a threat. It doesn't have to be further explained, he gets it.
"What?" He sounds aggravated. You can imagine him raising his hands to the skies, upset and losing patience as he's only trying to make it better for you and oh women are so complicated. Something like that. "Oh my God. Just get yourself off and feel better after."
"You don't tell me what to do." Childish but there's not much left of your brain. "Well, you don't even fucking know what to do with yourself right now. Am I right or am I right?" He whisper-yells back at you. Very mean.
"Asshole." It's a tiny whisper under your breath but you're certain he hears it even if he completely ignores it.
"Listen, since you can't even- how old are you, seriously?"
"Fuck you." Barely louder. You definitely know he's heard this time, but still, he decides to dismiss it. He's always been more productive than you.
"I'll turn it on and hang up. You take care of yourself like a big girl, alright?" He probably believes that you can't get yourself to ask for what you want aka a wild night with the fucking toy you can't get to work yourself. But it's not actually the case. Honestly. Now all you can think about -besides the whole very humiliating moment when he caught you in the act- is the way it kept torturing you, bringing you very high but never enough. It started to hurt at the end, brought impatient frustrated tears to your eyes. You don't even think you could finish with it.
Maybe it's inappropriate to seriously consider it. Maybe you won't ever learn your lesson.
Before you even get to word your refusal, the thing is on. It's on the same devilish setting as earlier. The merciless wave. Fuck.
"Don't! It's not- it won't even make me cum, stop it!"
"What? Why not?"
"I don't know the setting is weird." You start explaining through the thicker pout to have ever existed. You're really considering having him solve your climax. You've gone crazy.
"What's wrong with it? Tell me, I'll put on one you like."
Fuck.
You are doomed.
What are you supposed to do with a guy like this?
"I don't think there is." You can hear the frustration from his end before he even says a word. It's written in the stars that in a second he's going to bring it all up, the part when you got off and pester that you can't still be complaining about the fucking toy. "No, I mean it's- the one I liked, the last one you clicked on, it's like-" Fuck, you're really doing this. "A wave. You know? It grows crescendo but it always stops right before- right when it's really good. And I just couldn't- because the good part doesn't last long enough and, yeah."
"Wait, let me look." He sounds a bit further away from you then. He's logged back into the app, you can tell. And with his tiny "hm" and his "so...", he sounds the way he does when your computer is being difficult and he's trying to fix it because you won't pay a professional to do it when you have this nerd populating your entourage. "Ah. You want the high moment to last longer?" "Yes." You can picture him nod to himself, frowning his eyebrows and sucking his lips in the way he does when he's super focused.
"Like that?" You wouldn't know because the toy is lost somewhere, you can hear it but not see it. You ask him to wait for a second and it stops altogether. Doesn't make it easier to find it but it wasn't lost that far. Once you have it in your hand, you gulp, ashamed, not sure if you could ever play with this thing again. But the other guy on the phone doesn't seem to have his motivation falters. You're not the one telling him to try again, on his own, he executes.
It's hard to tell in your hand, the vibrating ears hugged tightly in your palm, if it's going to be satisfactory enough. If it's precisely the thing that was missing from earlier. It follows the pattern you asked him though. Still to a growing intense high that lasts for approximately a good ten seconds rather than the lame 2 seconds from earlier.
"I think so..."
"Okay then. You... mute yourself and then- Uh, no. I should mute myself so- or we both mute ourselves?" He's not really with you anymore. Lost in his own head amongst those seemingly very difficult questions. You don't even get where he's trying to get at. Wasn't he supposed to hang up?
"Why would you stay?"
"It's just- it's me doing it. There's no setting for what you want, it's me doing it. I have to draw the frequency on my phone."
"There's an option for that?"
"Yes. There's even one to have it follow audio!" He points out with way too much enthusiasm. He might have really found a new passion.
"Sounds like high tech."
"Yep."
"Sounds expensive as hell."
He laughs in the mic, snorts even before he brushes it off. Quite frankly, no matter what you'd have to say to him, he'd always do as he wishes. If spending ridiculous amounts of money on ridiculous things for ridiculous you is what he wants to do, he won't let anyone, not even you, tell him not to.
You don't know what to say, he's not saying anything either. He suggested something quite insane: he'd stay. While his finger would be drawing shapes on his screen to actively give you your pleasure, he'd stay on the phone with you. Maybe it's a bit hypocritical or ironical, how it sounds crazy to you now while ten minutes ago, you had no problem doing it without him knowing. That's probably the main issue here, him knowing. That changes everything.
"But if you stay-"
"We can't both mute ourselves because I won't hear if you ask me to change something or- so you, you just stay like that and I'll mute myself."
"Jungkook, you muting yourself won't change my awareness of you being here."
"But maybe you'll forget about it?"
"Jungkook."
"What?" He sounds contrite then. Like an upset child who's being argued with. He's trying so hard but you make it so difficult, it seems.
There's just one thing holding you back. Until now you couldn't quite pinpoint it. And it's hard to resolve an issue you can't name.
But it just hit you. His way of insisting while making it seem like he does it for you only, to help you out and doesn't necessarily find his part in the cake.
"Do you want to?"
"Uh?"
"You sound like- I don't know what you sound like. You're confusing. If you're just trying to give me a hand and solely that then hang up and I'll just- whatever."
"Oh."
"Of course, it makes no sense for you to do this for me and stay if you don't want to, I mean." He takes forever to answer. For a second, you even peek at your screen wondering if he didn't simply quit the conversation.
It's really all you need to know. If somehow, to some extent, he wants you or at least, wants to partake in this genuinely. You don't want it if it's just a bro hand. You can hardly live with what you've done if he's utterly uninterested. But if he does want it, even a little bit, you might be wrong but you feel like everything would turn out to be fine.
"It's not that hard of a question." You try again because it almost feels like he's forgotten you from how long he's remained silent. He had put you on the spot, in this very conversation too, so many times, you have the right to do the same to him, at least once. "Do you want to stay?"
He cracks up. It's the very hard kind of laughter. With the boyish chuckles, mixed with the squeaky intakes of air. The one that always brings a smile to your face and usually drags you along the fit.
You have no idea what it means right now. It's probably the least appropriate time for it to show up. Therefore instead of making you smile it only reinforces the headache slowly growing at your temple.
"Aah." He starts by exhaling longly. You can hear the grin fixed on his face. "Yes." Your heart trips in your rib cage. You should have guessed it but you couldn't have imagined this answer. And him laughing to tears like a fucking deranged infant doesn't help. "Shit, sorry." He apologized when the remnant of what sounds definitely like a giggle resonates in through the phone.
"What's so funny, Guk?" Your words don't match your tone. You're high under pressure, unsure of what's actually going on. Jungkook is not cruel, you've known him long enough to know that he wouldn't deliberately hurt you, wouldn't mess with you so bad, for so long, even for a great laugh. Still, you can't be convinced that he's sincere. Seriously, how could you? The dude won't stop fucking laughing.
"Nothing, I'm just- I didn't realize until you asked me the question that I wanted to." Oh. "I'm an idiot."
"Welp." Could have told you sooner but I thought you knew.
"Mean. And, uh," It sounds like he's tossing and turning in bed again. You bet he's just gotten the exact same position as before. He's like those cats that turn around in circles again and again until they settle for the initial spot. When he starts talking again, his voice is hardly a whisper, you assume he's holding the mic very close to his mouth. "I should ask you too. Do you want to?"
"I wouldn't ask if I didn't want it, moron." Patience has run thin. Now that you're reassured you don't have to be ashamed and embarrassed anymore, you can simply be annoyed as you get with him.
Honestly, you're still feeling abashed but he doesn't need to know that.
"Quit being mean. It's not my fault I'm slow." He says, faking deep pity and it does make you snort. "Okay, well..."
"Well, indeed."
"You're making this awkward!" You roll your eyes. Feels like you can sort this out. If you do take out the very blatant, scorching awkwardness, it's a very regular interaction between you. Sounds like any other day except in a second he's going to press a finger to his phone in hopes to make you cum.
"Your whole existence is awkward."
"Shut up. Let's just fucking start." He groans as if you're the one belating the initial step –you are but so is he.
"I don't have the fucking remote." He tells you to shut up again, and this time, when you hear him hum to himself when he's opening the app, there's a recognizable brushing noise falling directly in your ear.
"You put your earbuds on."
He doesn't answer but you're sure he's registered the question.
Fine.
If he doesn't want to give you an answer you'll just make up your own. Don't you put earbuds on to hear better? Just saying.
"Put the thing on."
"Oh my God, Jungkook-" You take back your own admission. He's the one, solely, all alone, making it painfully awkward. Sounding like a newly pubescent teen trying to initiate sex. "Could you be any smoother?"
"But-" He sighs. "Do you want me to?" How do you ask your best friend you've may have been in love with for officially a couple of months to please act like an ideal lover even if it's just very short-termed? He sounds willing. But asking is the most difficult part. "I can be- or do whatever you want, I just don't know-"
"I like it when you call me baby." Your whole face is scrunched up in a perfect picture of your intense embarrassment. Formalities need to get fucking out of the way and it's precisely what you've just tried to do. But holy shit, it's painfully embarrassing.
"Oh. Do you now?"
Here comes the smirk. Can't see it. Can hear it clearly. It's pretty much louder than his words even.
You want to tell him to forget it all. That it's not going to work if each fucking second he makes you feel like he's going to be using whatever you say or whatever you do against you later on. You decide to demonstrate exemplary patience, reminding yourself that he's not cruel. Admittedly.
Perhaps you're the idiot and it's all your fault. Because you've just admitted (without him even asking) that you like (and into these circumstances, that it turns you on) to have him call you baby. Thing that he does already every time he starts coddling you.
"Okay then." He startles you, clearing his throat. You wonder if he's as anxious as you are, or at least, a tiny bit nervous. For the most part, he doesn't seem like it. Then again, he's quite good at pretending.
It shows soon after when he starts again, this time with the gentle, soft voice he hardly ever uses with you. There's a tiny newcomer, a certain edge that gives it some firmness and that enchants you. That's exactly what you wanted him to be. "Put it on, babe."
You nod wordlessly, omitting that he can't see you and do as told. Slipping the toy under the waistband of your panties, guiding the ears aside your clit. There's a very faint buzzing coming from them. You barely feel it and you suppose it's just there to have you accommodate better.
"Are you still dressed?"
"It's just my panties and a big shirt." Your shirt you'd add if you had a bit more courage. You hope he's going to let you keep it.
"Take your panties off." The part of you who's his best friend wants to nag, tell him that maybe he should have asked that before demanding you place the toy on your cunt but you feel generous and merciful, and also desperate and tired of your orgasm being stalled for so long. "Are they soaked from earlier?" Okay, this shit's going to be hard. There's no coming back. Strangely, it's just now that it's really hitting you. Even if it's going well, there is no way, you'll ever forget his velvety smooth whisper saying those words. There's no way you're helpless cunt ever forgets.
They are, by the way. You don't even get how you've been able to keep them on and ignore the uncomfortable stickiness for this long. Just sliding them along your thighs feels disagreeable.
"Y/N." Sounds like you're getting scolded. And even if you particularly like the way he just said your name, with that same peculiar edge from earlier, a little sharper then, how are you supposed to answer that? "What did you say earlier? That it can't only be for you, is that right?"
"Yes." You admit sheepishly because now you're definitely getting scolded. It brings flush on your only newly temperate cheeks and you don't even hate it.
"Then I'll give you everything, I told you I would but I'll need you to give me some back. Can you do that?" He sounds so strict, how can you like it so much? You can literally feel the electricity along your spine, sliding down to go faint in the hot mess between your thighs and that's ridiculous. You hate being talked to that way, usually, probably because it's never him doing it. Jeon Jungkook might be your ultimate kink. And somehow, he figured it all out. That whatever he'd do would fit you perfectly well. Also, he might be turning like that because undeniably, you're a brat. "Can you?" He insists again because whilst you've been busy trying not to hyperventilate, he's been waiting for one answer.
"Yes. Yes, I can. Sorry."
"Don't apologize, it's fine." You should want to bite him. Why insist so much if it's to end up leaving you off the hook so easily? You know though, for a fact, awfully bothersome to your ego, that if he were in front of you presently, you'd give him puppy eyes and batting lashes, sad pouty lips and probably tend your neck to invite him to gently pat your hair. "Tell me, are your panties soaked?" "I think I ruined them..."
"You did, didn't you?" He's laughing a bit, kind of full of himself for some reasons. Maybe he knows that it's mainly his fault they ended up this way. Maybe he knows they are not the only pair fallen victim to simply the thought of him. "Was it worth it?"
"You're taking care of me so I'd say yes." A chortle. A purr that you interpret into something you like a lot. It sounds like he's taken your response for exactly what you wished him to. A tease. He makes your belly churns and twists, turns your nerves from your heart to your noggins haywire. The least he can allow you to do, the least you'd like to do, is for him to be affected by you.
It starts with a gentle buzzing. It's nothing much. Nothing at all, you'd say if you'd let your greediness and impatience talk. There's something else doing it for you, for now. Jungkook's breath, sort of heavy, slow, rocking you with warmth. Knowing he's here and here to please you; you're laid in bed, naked from the waist down, wet and about to make it all better thanks to him; the picture itself makes it all for you.
"How is it?" Jungkook asks after some time. It's been silent. You haven't said much, in fact, you haven't said anything yet. Not that ready to demand more, and not feeling enough for moans or whimpers or whatever to be stolen from you.
"Boring." You admit. "S'not what you were supposed to give me." Through a thick pout, you deplore.
It doesn't work. He doesn't care. He doesn't fucking care when he's playing exactly the role you've implicitly asked him to play. "Have you said please, even once?" You hate that he's virtually pinning you down with exactly what turns you on.
"I- Probably." You haven't said much. You haven't been so explicit, so telling simply because you couldn't, but surely, you said please. Didn't you?
"Not probably. You did not. And on top of that, you're complaining." He's figured out exactly what you wanted, what you needed. Therefore, as naturally as it came for him, you fit it your own role easily.
"I'm not complaining. I was just- pointing it out. Sorry."
"You can apologize a lot but you can't even say please. Not once." Well, fuck. You never thought that he could be mean. Awfully mean. You wished, when you let your mind wander there one too many time, a bit too deep, that he'd be like that. Sweet and soft and tender the way he is, always, but also, bad, kind of harsh. "Ask kindly, once."
"Jungkook-"
"I'll give you everything you want. Just once."
"Please, Jungkook." You know he's satisfied with what you offer him because you don't have to wait another second for him to give you precisely what you were waiting for. It's timid, follows the crescendo built you were looking for except it's not intense. It's the first step however it's incredibly effective. It feels as good as the first time. "Plea-please." Manifestly, it is the secret word, the passcode to your pleasure because the intensity you're craving for finally reaches you. It does in an electrifying peak, that lasts long, just like you asked, it's so good, the feeling so perfectly indulgent to your needs, maybe even too much, you squirm, part the little ears from your clit, hissing. "Shit, Jungkook!"
"Too much, baby?" The hypocrite, with his concerned tone, doesn't even take a break from activating the vibration, from keeping on building the intensiveness. You can tell it's he too, him really doing it live, as in it's not absolutely regular, the built sometimes takes longer, sometimes the volume stronger, other times weaker. It's undeniable, every minute of it feels different from the next, you can't even omit for a second that it's him doing it. And he's doing it so well.
"Per- fect, just- sensitive." You moan out. Back arching, right leg twitching. The next brush is particularly nice, goes so far you believe you might come on the spot. Now you definitely can't hold back even if you wanted to. The sounds that come out of your mouth, foreign to your own ears, are not even yours. They come straight from your body, straight from an excess of pleasure you try to deal with, to handle, when you clearly can't. You're alone, and it's you ultimately controlling the power on your own body, you can pull out, even slightly, every time it comes hard and strong and you ought to twitch uncomfortably. You wonder how it'd be if he were here with you. If he forgot just for a while that you were his best friend, the girl who used to be older and taller and has turned, with the years, into this tiny little thing because he just kept on growing and growing, sprouting like a fucking redwood, and now feels like he needs to protect and care for you. If he were there, and he could forget that, you bet, his present voice, heated, scorching, is telling you this, that probably, he'd hold you down, crush your body with his, hand pressing your thighs down and apart, and force you to take the pleasure in its entirety. You imagine him merciless, slipping sweet words in your ear, while he'd have you literally scream from overstimulation.
And then his voice, the perfectly alluring thing, concludes to let you know it won't happen like that. His voice will make you come.
"You sound so good." Especially, if he keeps saying shit like that, with this tone, soft yet strong and highly, terribly affected. He's breathing hot and heavy in your ears. Is he touching himself?
"Please, Jungkook." You implore, vainly, hips slowly grinding against the toy, pressed by your palm on your sensitive centre.
"Especially begging, 'sound so, so good." He's not touching himself. He sounds bothered, but not enough, he doesn't stutter like you do, his voice doesn't jump and dip, stops momentarily like yours does. Shit, you wished he would play with his cock. Fuck, you want to play with his cock. So fucking bad.
"Y-you like it?" You ask, not because you're curious to know, he's said it already, but because you won't ever get tired of hearing him say it, in all those different ways.
"I do, baby. I love hearing you." You can't help the curse that leaves your lips a bit harsh. You're so close. So so close. Eyes filled up to the brim, tip of your nose wet. How many times have you thought, already, that you were seriously going to fall over? "You gonna cum?"
"I can't-" You sob, whine. There's a tear spilling from your right eye. "It's too much." So attentive to your every word, the intensity drops drastically. It still buzzes, discreet, way more tolerable. Ironically, if you can now bear it, you know it's not enough to lead you to your climax either. "Help me, make me cum, Guk."
"Use your fingers." He's been nice, essentially, you can only be good to him. Without even having to think about it, you dip your fingers in the mess that is your cunt. Two fingers slip in between your lips too easily, you could add a third if only there wasn't the bunny taking a bit too much room, and your fingers were longer, and your hips not so twitchy. If Jungkook was here, if only he was here, he'd fit his two fingers and it'd be enough. You bet it'd be enough. You bet his pretty, long, tattooed fingers would stretch you so well and make you come in a heartbeat. "Fuck yourself with them."
It's so gratifying. Having him humming in your ear encouragements and compliments. He's sweet, sweet, sweet. Excellent with his voice. Fuck, he must be unreal with his fingers, with his mouth, with his fat cock.
Diligently, you drag your fingers in and out, it's only mildly agreeable when you're sopping wet, almost gaping. Until he draws on his phone the same magnificent pattern from before.
You wish it'd last longer. It's precisely what you needed, the ideal combination. Along with his words.
You know if you come he'd have to stop. He'll stop calling you baby, stop saying how sexy you are, use all those nasty words he never does and talking like that, with this voice, with this heat in his tone. It's a bothering thought at the back of your mind you have to actively push away.
There's nothing you can do when harshly, yet with a please, he demands you to cum.
You can feel your cunt, wide open from both your spread legs and the excitation, getting wet, growing soaked. You can actually feel it as it happens before you explode. Clenching violently around your fingers, spilling all over them, you might squeak and scream and moan his name continuously, you barely hear yourself through your ringing ears.
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"Fuck, Jungkook..." You sigh. Laying there, boneless, hand dripping up to your wrist. He's chuckling. "Fuck."
"Feeling better?" You hmm in response. Words sound like too much effort right now. Your brain is working slow. Extremely slowly. There's a multitude of thoughts forming though, germinating from a strange ground.
One, in particular, does, enlarging ridiculously much next to the others. You could enjoy this luck. You could just bathe in the lovely, perfect haze. Accept that the sky is perfectly blue without a cloud, with even a rainbow somewhere. Maybe a double rainbow even.
There's a very, very dark, very, very large cloud invading your perfect sky though. And because tears, of another kind, have already located your eyes, the new ones fit in, mixing up with them and taking over them with utter ease. What the fuck have you done?
"Jungkook, I'm so sorry-" You start with a tremble in the voice. There's a fat lump in your throat.
"Why? What's going on, baby?" He's sweet as honey, back to his usual self, worried, and you're horrible.
"Your- I didn't even think about her and-" There's a sob bubbling out of your mouth. "It's not me. I didn't mean to-"
"What are you talking about?"
"Jiyeun." The taste in your mouth when you say her name, is unbearable. You know full fucking well you shouldn't say her name. You shouldn't be allowed to. How dare you. Spoil it when you spent way too long virtually getting in this guy's, who's someone else's boyfriend, pants.
"Dumbass." It makes you choke on your own sobs. "It's over. With her, I mean. We broke up." Ah. You want to ask a billion questions. Starting with "again?". Soon followed up by a "why didn't you say anything, dickhead?". You spent the whole fucking night, getting shit faced and spiritually crying in the club over a couple that does not even exist anymore. Then you'd ask for how long they are planning to be over. "For good, this time." You're barely drying up your fat crocodile tears when he calls you an idiot again, says something about how he's not that kind of guy and you should know it.
Feels better. The thunderstorm is gone.
Alcohol and horniness and hardcore loving are such a terrible combo you need to avoid.
"Cuddles." Tiredly, half-dead, but still alive enough to be greedy, to feel sensible, skinned and want him to give you more. "Come cuddle." He's late to answer, delays it as if you don't desperately need his response.
It's terribly quiet and still. The dark of the night seems even more sombre. He can fix everything if only he'd give you the answer you desire.
"You sure?"
"Always." You say, maybe too honest. He doesn't seem to mind, agrees with a snort.
"Alright."
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He appears in front of you in the blink of an eye. Literally. That blink does last longer than usual. The orgasm may have crushed you. You close your eyes and when you open them back up, he's here. Standing in the doorframe of your bedroom, dressed in all black and oversized, as usual. You look up, eyes squinted, bothered by the light coming from the hallway. He's staring. Gaze brushing, from your head to your toes, seemingly slowing down when they reach your naked thighs.
"What?" You mumble, embarrassed, one hand sliding down just to make sure the hem of the shirt is covering your crotch. You didn't even put your panties back on. You may or may not have wiped yourself clean enough with the wet wipes wisely sitting on your bedside table -you thought about it really hard but you can’t remember if you actually did it.
"You never mentioned it was my t-shirt you were wearing." You shrug. You'd have a better come back if you weren't so tired and if it wasn't simply true. "Would have been nice to know." He says, kneeling down next to your bed. The latter is low, mattress barely raised from the ground and even when he's crouching down, he's hovering above you, looking down on you. "Easier to picture." He adds quieter the closest he comes to you. It's enough words to know who he is at the moment. In what form, what version of your Jeon Jungkook, has come to visit. It's the gentle one. The one whose voice doesn't raise, doesn't feel as animated as his usual one when he spends his time being a clown to make everyone laughs. The one that made you fall, the first time. Not exactly the one you had on the phone with you earlier and even if you like him, if you adore him in fact, you feel sort of uneasy, worried. He might be gone forever, this one.
Unless it is him. His hands reach forward, large and warm, they lie on your thighs. The fingers brush up a bit, to the hem of his shirt, and they stop there. He looks up from them, straight in your eyes, smiles, digs the tips in the meat of your thighs before he lifts you up, aiming for the border of your bed.
God. You hope it'll happen again. But differently. More in-depth. He'd be less dressed, he would manhandle you, before he'd do some unnamable things to you. But another day. One when you're not almost dead. When you feel hornier and less soft and desperate for direct comfort to your swollen heart. It could be tomorrow when you wake up. If he's up for it. Please God, make it so he's up for it.
Jungkook hops on the bed behind you, huffs comfortably, holding your cover by a corner to bring it up and over the two of you. He fits behind you too naturally for it to be the first time. He doesn't seem to mind that you're so underdressed, compared to the other times, that you still have some remnant of your orgasm on you, that it's different. His arm sliding around you, holding a bit too tight, pressing you a tiny bit too hard, you're still hot from earlier. It's perfect though. You don't want him to move an inch and you hope, the hand that's wrapped on his forearm, makes him understand.
"M'not too clingy?" His own cheek pressed hard to your own, he asks, which is weird. How could he still wonder? He's never ever been too clingy. Even when you were kids and he followed you around before even asking if he could, he wasn't too clingy. The closest, the better. You deny with a uh-uh. He calls out for your name when you're fighting to keep your eyelids open. It's the most comfortable, the warmest you've ever felt. Like a cocoon of pure love and adoration. On top of it, there's his hard arms around you, his hard thigh pushing against yours, his crotch -with the feel of his member, slightly stiff- glued to your butt, and his chest, as hard as the rest, holding your back up like a strong wall. "I promise I didn't plan the whole toys thingy for that."
"For what?" Sleepily, you wonder, actually confused from exhaustion. To cuddle with you? Like you haven't in so, so long. Why would he try to apologize for it? "To use them with you."
"What a shame." You don't think he can understand. Diction is not something you care for at the moment. The hard laugh bubbling in his chest, rumbling, shaking your whole, lets you know he did, in fact, get it.
"You're so-" He starts but the thought dies way too soon for you to even try and complete it yourself. "I'll have a billion questions for you tomorrow."
"No." You whine. Because he's fucking up everything. If he believes you'll say it all to him, there's no way you can. There's no way you will. He chuckles.
Doesn't seem to be taking you seriously.
"Yes. And you'll answer every single one of them." He gives a sweet but pressing kiss to your neck.
"No."
"I adore you." Fucking hell. "I broke up with Jiyeun because I adore you too much. I realized I want to spend all my time and energy on my best friend." You don't even know what he means. You can't even hold your eyelids open now, you can't even keep your hand on his arm, it being too heavy and sleep having taken over most of your body.
You bet he's saying that just because he's guessed it. He's figured you all out and the asshole doesn't mind playing with your soft heart. He knows he'll get anything from you if he's this good. Hopefully, tomorrow, he'll have forgotten about his little interrogation because you're not sure you'll be able to lie. For now, he's holding you way too close for you to care. Whatever. May it last forever, this feeling.
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A/N: DON’T HATE ME OKAY?! i know i have an issue with angst and endings, for some reasons, i don’t want to hurt my characters but i can’t get myself to write an actual fully happy, non-ambiguous conclusion, and i’m really sorry for it lmao.
i sincerely hope you enjoyed the last part of The Wishlist! Thank you immensely for anyone who’s followed along, please let me know your thoughts, i really really want to know :)
for now, i’m sending you lots of love and kisses, take good care of yourself and others, see ya very very soon :]
tag list: @safi4x​ @kai-kai-bookshelf​ @somewhereinthestarss​ @hsinmyheart​ @moonchild1​ @monvieesdaebak @pasteljoonie​ @fangirls94​ @jinsalpaca​ @ggukkieland​
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Lost || Lab Rats: Elite Force ||
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Chase meets a girl at the city’s art museum who strikes up a conversation with him but he’s reluctant. After what happened with Reese and Rodissius, he’s completely lost his will to trust others, especially random strangers that approach him. Little did he know that the two of you share that same fear
Pairing: Chase Davenport x Reader
Warnings: None
Words: 2K
A/N: I give you… soft Chase? Sort of soft Chase? Anyways, I haven’t properly written in a year and this is what I come back with first… Did I do good? I like it, and it feels different from everything I’ve written before, like more genuine. Anyways, enjoy and I hope you all liked it!
Chase stood in the Centium Art Museum, in front of a Monet painting that he’s already seen dozens of times. He wasn’t quite looking at the painting though, more like lost in his thoughts. Thinking about the things he came here to escape from but they only followed.
He wasn’t typically the type of person to come to an art museum, leaning more towards science. But it was quiet here, a place where he could come and collect his thoughts in peace. Somewhere where he could escape from his teammates and their pestering about things he didn’t want to talk about. Here, he could let go of himself and not worry about a single thing for just a few hours.
Plus, he was discovering a new side of himself, one that did enjoy the spoils of art. He liked the creativity and the sense of tranquility art brought. It taught him how to let go and be someone else besides Chase Davenport, bionic hero. To be himself rather than what others wanted or expected him to be. What he expected himself to be.
“Beautiful, isn’t it,” A voice said beside him, startling him out of his thoughts.
He turned his head to see a girl standing next to him, staring at the painting in front of. He tensed up just a bit, caution filling his being as he continued to look at the girl. She looked harmless, from her profile view he could see a delicate smile and gentle eyes. Nothing about her screamed threatening but that didn’t stop him from keeping his guard up.
The last girl he talked to also appeared non threatening and she ended up hurting him the most. So regardless of her appearance, he wasn’t about to let her or anything distract him. At least not like that, no, never again.
You tore your gaze away from the painting and turned your head to look at the boy. You noticed how he was just staring and your smile widened just a bit to show that you were friendly. He looked a little startled so perhaps you shouldn’t have snuck up on him.
“Sorry, I hadn’t meant to scare you. It’s not often I find someone admiring Monet’s work so deeply,” You told him.
“It’s fine, I just hadn’t noticed you there. But yes, his work is beautiful,” He replied, still weary.
“I’m {Name},” You introduced, turning full body to face him, hand outstretched in front of you.
He hesitated for a second before doing the same, softly grasping your hand in his and giving it a gentle shake. “Chase.”
“It’s nice to meet you Chase,” You replied.
You let your hand gently slip away from his before it fell behind your back. Your eyes casted downwards before shooting back up to meet his gaze, finding your heart beating a bit faster than usual. You couldn’t deny that he was attractive, more than you had expected him to be.
“Likewise,” He said shortly.
You broke your gaze from his and turned to look back at the painting, one you’ve already looked at hundreds of times. But each time you did, it was like looking at if for the first time. And you always managed to find something new in it every time you came back.
“So may I ask what brings you here?” You asked.
He didn’t reply right away, he was unsure of what to say without being so revealing. He could just say he liked art and the quiet atmosphere, nothing there that could give him away.
“I like the art and it’s quiet enough to think without interruption,” He told you.
“I can agree with you there. I love coming here and just getting lost in the art,” You said.
He hummed out in response, once again unsure of what to say or do. He was still trying to figure out what your plans were with him. After all, he couldn’t fathom the idea of someone actually being interested in him. Many people have proven that to him, that no one could actually like him.
“Would you like to get coffee or something?” You asked, interrupting his train of thought once again.
He thought about if for a second, trying to decipher any hidden meaning behind your words. He couldn’t tell with your bright smile and even brighter eyes if there was any. Although maybe this way, keeping you close, he could figure out your intentions before you could reveal them.
“Sure, coffee sounds good,” He replied, noticing how you seemed surprised.
“Okay, great! I know a coffee shop nearby,” You told him.
Before he knew it, you had led him out of the museum and down the streets of Centium City. He could only follow behind and listen to you promise that this place was great. There was something about your tone of voice that pulled at his heart. The way your voice was so light and airy, and didn’t miss a beat to your words. It was cheerful and bubbly yet soothing and calming, a certain je ne sais quoi if you will.
Before he knew it, the two of you were sat at a table, waiting for your drinks to called out. The two of you sat in silence for a bit, sitting across each other. Chase had his hands folded neatly on the table, slightly twiddling with his thumbs as he wondered if he should speak up. You took it upon yourself as you looked at him and spoke up, same tone in your voice as before but softer now that the two of you were indoors.
“So, besides art, what are some other things you like?” You asked, interested in getting to know him.
He furrowed his eyebrows at your question, this felt like some sort of interrogation tactic. Or maybe it was just you genuinely interested in him. Could he allow himself to believe that? Well, regardless of what you were trying to do, he needed to be a step ahead and make it seem like you had the upper hand in this.
“Well, its all things you probably wouldn’t be interested in,” He replied.
“Oh? And why is that?” You asked, raising an an eyebrow in amusement.
“No offense or anything but most people, especially girls—women—aren’t interested in what i’m interested in,” He explained, leaning back in his seat and shifting in it a bit. His heart raced a bit as he thought of what an idiot he must’ve sounded and looked like right now.
“Mm, enlighten me, pretend I’m someone who is typically interested in that sort of stuff,” You said, giving him this smile that made his heart skip a beat.
He leaned forward again, your words piquing his interest and his guard dropping a bit. “Science mainly, well its a lot more than that,” He started off, quick to go into a tangent of all the things science.
You listened closely and intently, a smile pulling at your lips as you noticed how excited he seemed. You leaned forward, resting your chin on the palm of your hand as he continued to talk. He looked up after a few minutes of rambling, stopping mid-sentence when he noticed you staring at him. He stopped altogether and leaned back in his chair, putting up his defenses once again as he mumbled.
“What? Is there something on my face?”
“Hm? No, no, I was just enjoying you ramble is all,” You told him.
His eyes widened a bit in shock before narrowing down at you. “Okay what’s your deal?”
You opened your mouth to speak before the voice of a barista calling out your drinks interrupted. “Hold that thought, I’ll go get our drinks.” You said before getting up and leaving him alone in his seat.
He sighed softly as he waited for you to come back, bouncing his leg in anticipation for your return. You came back a minute later, two mugs in hand as you set his drink down in front of him before taking your seat. He looked down at his drink before looking up at you, eyebrows still furrowed.
“What do you mean? Did I say something I shouldn’t have?” You asked, referring to his question from before.
“I mean, this, you, pretending to take an interest in me... What are you really up to?” He told you, his lips turning downwards in a frown.
“Pretending? Who said I was pretending?”
“Oh come on, you’re not really interested in what I have to say, are you?”
You frowned slightly and furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, not understanding why he thought this. “Well, I will say I’m not the biggest science buff... but I do like to learn and I like listening to what others have to say. Maybe I don’t fully understand everything you’re saying but it doesn’t mean you can’t teach me.”
“Alright fine, say all of that is true but why me? What makes me so interesting to listen to?” He asked.
You stayed silent for a bit, biting down on your lip and pulling it between your teeth before speaking up again. “You want the truth?” You asked back, watching as he gave you a short nod in yes. “Okay... Today wasn’t the first time I noticed you in the art museum. I’ve seen you a few other times, always so lost in thought... but its just that, you seem lost. Like you’re looking for an answer that you can’t quite reach...”
Chase was taken aback by your words, eyes widening a bit and leaning back; pushing his mug away a bit and folding his hands again, fiddling with his thumbs.
“Okay but what’s so meaningful about that? Why take an interest in it?” He questioned.
“Because I know what that feels like,” You answered all too quickly, eyes casting downwards and shying away a bit as you continued. “To search for something that should be right in front of you but isn’t. To feel like you’ve been set off balance and not knowing how to regain control. Guess I was drawn to you because of that.”
You kept your gaze down on your mug, hand wrapping around the handle and resting there as your thumb lightly caressed the rim. You bit down on your lip, feeling self-conscious now that you revealed a part of yourself that had meant to stay hidden. Chase looked down for a second before looking back up, his gaze softening from your words. He understood now why you approached him and why you’d been so adamant to get to know him. You two were one in the same, both had gotten hurt by someone or something and were looking for a way to mend yourselves.
“I’m sorry,” He spoke up, voice soft and sincere.
“Don’t be,” You said. “I would’ve been defensive too if I were you.”
You looked back up and offered him a warm smile, one he returned with the same warmth in it.
“Well, if I haven’t completely ruined this, I’d still like to get to know you,” He said, a hopeful tone in his voice.
You laughed lightly and smiled more, nodding your head a bit. “You haven’t ruined this at all and yes, I’d like that.”
He looked at you with bright eyes and gave you this wide, goofy grin. You spent the rest of that day, sitting in that little cafe, talking and getting to know each other. And for the first time in a long while, the two of you felt like you’d found someone you could trust again.
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classyklancey · 3 years
Text
White Magnolia
Pairing: Keith Kogane x Lance McClain Genre: fluff (pining idiots) Warnings: Keith is so in love it’s gross Summary: Lance convinces Keith to go on a road trip with him to California. Keith struggles to hide his pining Word Count: 3.5k words A/N: this was supposed to be posted for Lance’s birthday but oh well-
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Keith doesn’t know why he decided to indulge Lance in such a crazy fantasy. One minute Lance is just rambling about what he misses about Cuba and the next, Lance is driving them both from Texas to California in his blue Tacoma. Keith really can’t find it in him to complain though with the way the sun is shining on Lance’s beautiful bronze skin and the wind is blowing through his brown, curly locks.
What Keith can complain about though is Lance’s terrible taste in music. For some reason, Lance’s road trip playlist—which is mysteriously called ‘Not a thing to do, but talk to you. WE'RE ALL ALRIGHT! WE'RE ALL ALRIGHT! HELLO WISCONSIN!’ and no matter how much Keith asks, Lance refuses to tell him why it’s called that—is mostly consisted of 90s songs. Being the pining idiot that he is though, Keith can’t find it in him to do any more than light teasing in Lance’s direction as he screeches all the lyrics at the top of his lungs.
One song does however catch Keith’s attention, especially since Lance immediately tries to skip it. “What was that?” Keith asks, smashing his pointer finger against the back button on the radio to bring it back to the song that Lance is currently blushing over.
“Nothing! Stop hitting the back button!” Lance screeches as he keeps trying to skip it only for Keith to hit the back button. They do this three or four times before Lance reaches his right hand over to smack and hit Keith. Keith grunts with every hit that Lance lands, not even noticing that the song he’s been trying to skip is finally playing.
When I first saw you, I saw love And the first time you touched me, I felt love And after all this time You're still the one I love, mmm, yeah-yeah
Keith starts to blush along with Lance, his hand smacking Lance’s away and finally bringing the brunette’s attention back to the song playing. Lance hurriedly skips it and looks at Keith out of the corner of his eye, but Keith pretends not to see as he looks out the window. Keith just assumes that Lance is embarrassed for having such a lovey-dovey song playing with Keith here, but Keith can’t help but feel that this is their song.
Keith is a stupid man who has been stupidly in love with someone who will never return his feelings for as long as they’ve known each other. Keith instantly took a liking to Lance despite having never even had a conversation together. Keith had always admired that Lance was so outspoken and friendly with everyone he met.
Well, except for Keith.
No, you see, Lance had somehow decided that Keith was his rival and that Lance would take him down. First, it was little things, like Lance trying to do better than him on quizzes and he’d brag each and every time he’d even get one single point more than Keith. That was annoying but it wasn’t too bad, Keith could handle that. It slowly began to escalate though over time until it turned to them yelling in each other’s faces and having to be pulled away from one another before it got physical. All that ended up doing was causing Keith to shut him out and pretend he didn’t even exist despite the fact that he could barely keep his eyes off of the blue-eyed Cuban. They ended up getting into the same friend group though since Hunk is friends with Lance, Keith is friends with Pidge, and Hunk and Pidge are friends with each other. It didn’t take them long to bring Keith and Lance together, even though it did take a long, long time. The duo eventually started to see each other as friends and became as thick as thieves.
Keith always craved for more though.
Keith is knocked out of his reminiscing when Lance curses because he missed a turn, his frown instantly becoming a smile when one of his favorite songs comes on. Lance goes back to screaming the words which causes Keith’s grey eyes to roll towards the back of his head. Despite his supposed annoyance, his heart is doing tricks in his chest whenever Lance grows focused on driving, which causes his screeching to become light, melodic singing.
Keith is starting to believe that this is what heaven would be like.
Keith’s eyes focus on Lance’s right hand that rests on the gear shift, his fingers tapping along to whatever annoying song he is playing. Keith suddenly has the urge to reach out and tangle their fingers together, to compare who’s hand is bigger and how their skin tones contrast beautifully.
This all repeats for a while, along with occasional chatter, for about eight hours before Lance grows too tired to drive on anymore. They have about twelve more hours to drive and Keith offers to drive while Lance sleeps, but Lance has an odd reaction. He claims he doesn’t trust Keith to drive ‘his baby’ but something Lance doesn’t know is that Keith has become a bit of a Lance expert. If they’re getting food and Lance says he doesn’t want any, what he really is saying is he doesn’t want to make Keith pay since he forgot his wallet. If Lance seems off and says he’s fine when Keith asks about it, what he really means is that he’s not okay but he wants to appear strong in front of everyone.
So, when Lance says he doesn’t trust Keith to drive his car, what he’s really saying is that he wants them to enjoy the ride there together. ‘It’s called a road trip for a reason, Keith.’ Keith doesn’t fight him on it and offers that they get some food before spending the night in a motel.
After getting some extremely greasy fast food and talking until really late, they finally head into their crappy and very worrisome motel. They both stop in the doorway when they find that there’s only one bed, making both of them stare at it in silence.
“I can sle—”
“I don’t mind tak—”
They both go quiet again when they both talk at the same time, both of their bodies turned slightly away from each other. Lance sighs and places his bag onto a small table by the door, starting to unzip it to pull out all his nightly routine items. “Look, why don’t we just share the bed? The floor is absolutely disgusting and I’m afraid one of us would catch something if we even tried sitting on it,” Lance says as he pulls everything out and begins heading for the bathroom. He makes a face when he walks inside of it before turning to smile at Keith and shooting him his signature wink.
Keith sighs and sets his bag on the chair by the table, deciding that he really didn’t want to sleep on the gross floor nor did he want to make Lance do it. Lance would probably complain about it through the entire night and all of his life if he ended up sleeping there anyway. Keith changes into his pajamas right there seeing as how Lance has seen Keith shirtless many times. Not that he ever seems to notice Keith’s shirtlessness…
The same doesn’t go for Keith though. Oh, no no. Keith has become the master at staring at Lance without getting caught. Well, sometimes he does and each time he’s caught, his face erupts in color. Lance always just assumes it’s from their recent workout or being out in the sun too long. Keith thanks God every day for Lance’s obliviousness despite the fact that he’s not religious. Keith catches himself staring at Lance more than the Cuban man does. He can’t help himself though. Lance has the looks of a god, what with his smooth, caramel skin, thick, curly hair, mesmerizing blue eyes, perfectly straight, white teeth, and the list goes on. Keith’s pretty sure he could write a whole book—no, a trilogy—on Lance’s perfect body. The thing Keith hates the most about his stupid crush though is that it’s not just his body that he likes. No, that would make Keith’s life easier and he’s pretty sure that the universe is out to spite him. No, Keith has to like all of Lance. His bad puns, his stupid finger guns, his cheesy pick-up lines, his corny sense of humor, his everything. Keith wants all of him more than he’s ever wanted anything in his life.
“Alright, bathroom’s yours!” Lance calls as he walks back over to his bag, smiling when he sees that Keith is wearing the pajama set that Lance had gotten him for Christmas one year. “No way!” Lance shouts in glee before rushing to his bag to pull out his matching pair. Keith sighs down at his red pajamas before looking at Lance’s blue pajamas.
“Don’t make me regret this,” he grumbles as he walks to the bathroom to brush his teeth.
“I’m not doing anything!” Lance huffs as he starts pulling on his own pjs. Once they are all ready for bed, they stand at the foot of it in another silence.
“So, uh, what side of the bed do you want?” Lance mumbles. Keith shrugs, not really caring either way what side he gets. “Cool, can I get the left side then?” he continues, already moving onto that side of the bed before Keith can even reply. Keith huffs a laugh through his nose before crawling onto the right side. Both of them lay on top of the covers, too scared of what lies beneath the covers to let their skin touch it. Good thing Arizona is such a warm state cause Keith would think he’d freeze otherwise. Guess it also helps that their AC unit doesn’t work anyway.
Unlike Lance, Keith has always been an early riser, so he’s not surprised when he wakes up before the brunette. What he is surprised to find though is that Lance is laying on his chest softly snoring away. Keith’s arms are wrapped around Lance’s torso and he can’t help but to squeeze him a little tighter, hoping that this isn’t a dream. Keith then finds that the still snoozing dork is sweating buckets, if Lance’s semi-damp clothes are anything to go by. Keith’s nose wrinkles at how gross they are but, of course, Keith’s poor weak heart starts beating faster at the fact that they’re cuddling.
And maybe Keith’s wildly beating heart is what causes Lance to stir and to slowly blink his eyes open. He’s letting out a yawn and beginning to stretch before halting in the middle of it, his eyes growing as wide as plates. He suddenly jerks away from Keith, doing so in such a harsh way that it causes him to tumble to the floor with a scream. Keith laughs and sits up, crawling over to Lance’s side of the bed to look over the edge at him. He finds Lance frowning and glaring up at the amused look on Keith’s face.
“It’s not funny,” he grumbles up at Keith, his frown turning into a pout as he sits up. Keith helps Lance up before offering Lance the bathroom first. Lance’s face warms as he stares at where he was once laying, Keith’s brow-raising up at him as he just stands there gawking. He then clears his throat and forces out a bad joke before scurrying to the bathroom.
They both take turns showering and while Lance is taking his, Keith lets his mind wander while he lays on the stiff bed. Keith’s stupid heart makes his stupid brain wonder what it would be like to wake up beside Lance every day, seeing the dried drool on the corner of his mouth and witnessing his sleepy blue eyes come to life the moment they see Keith.
Keith snaps out of his daydream when the bathroom door swings open and reveals a glistening Lance emerging with rolls of steam curling around his body. Keith recognizes the hypnotizing smell of Lance’s vanilla shampoo all the way from the bed, making his heart flutter with the familiar scent.
After Keith takes a brisk shower, they are on the road again. They stop to get breakfast at a diner before leaving the town that they stopped in. It isn’t until they’re in California that they stop again, this time pulling over onto the side of the road. Keith is about to ask why Lance is pulling over when Lance leans against the car and just looks out in front of him. Keith finally takes his eyes off of Lance to look at what Lance has stopped to admire.
When he turns his head, he sees just what Lance is marveling at. Before them are dozens of white magnolia trees that Keith begins marveling at right along with Lance. Keith slowly gets out of the car and leans against it beside Lance, his eyes finding the side of Lance’s face every few seconds. Keith’s eyes widen when Lance suddenly grabs his hand and begins tugging him towards the trees. “Lance! What are you doing? What about the truck?” Keith hollers. Lance just laughs and continues dragging him along without a care in the world, smiling when they reach the sweet-smelling trees.
Lance starts to hum a song as they weave their way between all of the trees, Keith’s heart threatening to beat out of his chest with the way the wind is blowing some of the petals and flowers off of the tree and onto Lance’s hair. They spend quite some time there, their hands still clasped together as they wander around. Keith and Lance end up racing from one tree to another and arguing about who clearly won. Once they settle on that it’s a draw (even though it most definitely wasn’t, Lance), they sit down beneath one of the larger trees to escape the unforgiving sun. They lean against each other and talk about any and everything, Keith’s heart threatening to pop out of his chest when Lance keeps mindlessly playing with Keith’s hands. Lance stops telling a story of something that happened last summer mid-sentence when a whole magnolia flower lands in his lap.
“These are edible, you know,” he says as he picks it up, studying it like it’s one of the greatest wonders of the world.
“What?” Keith asks, not being sure if he should trust Lance or not. This could be revenge when Keith told him that a flower he found on their weekly hike was good and tasted like cinnamon. Lance had been suspicious but ended up going for it anyway and immediately regretting it. Lance just about strangled Keith but Keith had laughed so hard that tears were falling down his face. It made Lance’s job of strangling Keith easier though since his body was so weak from laughter.
“Yeah. They’re actually pretty good. They have a mild ginger taste,” he explains. Before Keith can tell him to prove it, he’s already taking a bite. Keith watches with wide eyes as he chews and swallows, a soft smile coming to his face. Either it’s actually good or Lance is an amazing actor. He offers the flower to Keith and Keith decides to go for it just as Lance went for it when their situation was reversed. Keith found that he was, in fact, not lying.
When Lance finally decides they can leave, Keith stops him with a soft smile. He reaches up, tugs one of the flowers from the tree, and then faces Lance, finding his perfectly waxed brows furrowed together. Keith’s smile grows more as he tucks the flower behind Lance’s ear, causing the Cuban’s face to erupt with color.
Keith has changed his mind. This is what heaven must be like.
Lance finally lets Keith choose some music to play once they continue driving, his hand always coming up to tuck the flower back down behind his ear whenever the wind threatens to blow it away. When Keith plays some of his music though, of course Lance complains about the songs. Keith can tell he doesn’t have any malice behind his words though.
“Do you listen to anything that isn’t loud and dizzying, Mullet?” Lance jabs, turning to look at him with a crooked smile when they come to a stop at a light. Keith scoffs and turns his gaze away from the many shops lining the street to face Lance.
“Do you listen to anything that isn’t repetitive and annoying?” he fires right back with his usual smirk. Lance scoffs just like Keith did before turning his eyes back onto the road, his fingers going back to tapping on the gear shift, which brings Keith’s gaze back to his hand.
When they finally reach their destination in California, the sun is slowly starting to sink towards the horizon. Lance rushes out of the truck stop that they had decided to stop at when he notices it. “Mullet! C’mon! Hurry up! We are going to miss it!” Keith can’t really take him seriously when he’s wearing dollar sign shades that he bought in the gift shop. He’s sure he looks just as ridiculous with his alien eyes shades.
“Miss what?” he asks as he follows Lance at a much slower pace to his truck. Lance doesn’t reply though. Instead, he rips them out of the parking lot before Keith even has his door shut, making Keith screech and holler at him to slow down despite his laughter. He realizes why Lance was in such a big hurry when Lance parks and then flies out of his truck. Keith follows Lance down to the beach, a soft ‘wow’ leaving him when he sees the pretty blue water reflecting the sun that has just touched the horizon. Lance doesn’t seem to think Keith is going fast enough though, seeing as how he snatches his hand up and once again starts dragging him towards the coastline.
When Lance’s bare feet touch the water—wait, when did he take off his shoes?—the biggest smile that Keith has ever seen spreads across Lance’s face. Hunk wasn’t kidding when he told Keith that Lance belongs in the water. Keith smiles and gives his hand a squeeze before turning to look at the setting sun, not even caring that his boots are getting wet right now.
When the sun is gone behind the ocean’s waves, Keith notices they are facing each other with their hands tightly grasped together. Keith isn’t sure how they got into this position but what he is sure of though is that he’s never wanted to kiss Lance more than in this very moment.
“Keith…” Lance suddenly interrupts the peacefulness with a whisper, his eyelids seeming to grow heavy the longer he stares at Keith. Keith is momentarily shocked into silence when Lance uses his name instead of ‘Mullet’ but quickly recovers when he notices Lance slowly getting closer to him.
“Yes?” he whispers back, his voice refusing to get any louder in fear of shattering the dream-like state that they’ve created within the last few minutes.
Instead of verbally replying, Lance leans forward until their noses bump together and their breaths begin to mingle. Keith can taste the spearmint gum that Lance got from the pitstop on his breath, the smell becoming Keith’s favorite scent, second to Lance’s vanilla shampoo. Keith’s heart halts in his chest before going into overdrive when their lips finally touch, Keith’s breath stuttering. As their lips move against each other’s, Keith vaguely listens to the sound of the waves crashing and the seagulls squawking.  
Keith is once again corrected. This is what heaven would be like.
Keith is knocked out of their blissful kiss when a bigger wave suddenly washes over their feet, causing water to spill down into his boots. He pulls away with an aggravated grunt, looking down at the saltwater that is now brimming his shoes. “Lance,” Keith growls despite the fact that it wasn’t necessarily Lance’s fault. Their dumb banter comes more naturally for them than anything else.
“What?” Lance crows with a look of indignation on his face, his arms letting Keith’s cheeks go to cross his arms over his chest. They fall into the usual repartee despite the fact that now their arms are wrapped tight around the other and refuse to let go. Well, that is until Keith goes ‘too far’ and makes Lance splash him with water. Keith glares at Lance like a murderous wet cat, his claws and fangs starting to show. Lance lets out a squeak before taking off down the coastline, his laughter deafening the sound of the waves that still lap at their feet.
Keith catches up to Lance with ease, seeing as how the tanned man isn’t actually trying to outrun his new lover. Keith wraps his arms around Lance’s waist and snatches him back, making Lance’s laughter cut off with a squeal. Keith spins him around which just ends up bringing Lance’s melodic laughter back.
Keith sets him back down and Lance immediately spins around to face Keith, setting their foreheads together. “We should go on another trip soon, Samurai,” he whispers before connecting their lips for another kiss.
⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰
MASTERLIST
More with Klance
⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰
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too-gay-for-marvel · 3 years
Text
just this once pt.3
a/n: i know im technically a day late, but we stopped very late. but its here! and its gonna be a decent amount of parts, so be prepared, besties
Word Count: 2,439
Warnings: smut implications
Pairing: Natasha x Reader
(pt.1 pt.2 pt.3 pt.4 pt.5 pt.6.1 pt.6.2 pt.6.3 pt.7 pt.8)
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Natasha had to admit, she hated how understanding Maria was. She had gone home and told Maria what you had said, expecting to become single almost as soon as she had finished talking. But no, Natasha had finished her rant, and Maria had taken a deep breath before saying “I’m sorry,” and dragging her into a hug.
She would’ve handled a “we’re over” much better.
But it helped ease some of the guilt that she was carrying around with her. It lifted some of the weight that had been keeping her head down and feet dragging. And with Maria being the most understanding person in the world, now she could live her life. Did she forgive herself? Fuck no, but at least she could move on with Maria.
It helped that you kept to what she had told you.
In the months after learning the truth, she never saw you. Her feet never took her to your suite, her thoughts never trailed to that night. Well. Not during the day. She… didn’t want to talk about the dreams.
Natasha was able to go a solid month without seeing you, and even though the back of her mind kept telling her to talk to you, she had stayed away. She had kept to her “honey do” list, went on her missions, and just lived her life.
Until Fury stuck his nose where it didn’t belong.
“You two have a mission.”
Natasha looked over to where you were standing, over in the corner as far away from her as you could be. Your eyes were down, only occasionally darting up to look at Fury when he was talking. She could see the fins on your arm flare out a bit before relaxing again, along with the slight twitch of your gills.
“Can this mission not be done with one person?” Natasha asked, her eyes still locked on you; you shifted your weight from one foot to the other.
“It requires stealth and…” Fury looked over at you and sighed. “Gills.”
“And here I thought you kept me around for my good looks,” you teased with an upturn of the corner of your mouth.
“When do you need us?” Natasha asked, and your half smile fell as quickly as it had appeared.
“You leave bright and early, 0400.”
With that, Fury left the room, leaving you and her alone. She took note of your fins staying flared, and took that as her sign to leave. Your feet shuffled, and she moved slower just in case, but you never reached out to her. That was all Natasha needed to head back to her room to prepare for tomorrow.
Tomorrow came far too soon, and it felt like only moments later that Natasha was standing in the hangar, watching you prep your gear.
Incorrectly.
“Your holster’s backwards,” Natasha pointed out.
“It is not, I’m testing something out,” you shot back without looking up.
“Whatever you put in there is going to fall out,” she continued.
You ignored her, but tried to turn it around without her noticing. She did. A silence fell over the both of you as you continued to get ready. Natasha had already gotten all of her stuff, but you continued to move around. You grabbed your belt and a harpoon, all of them quickly attached at your hips.
You maintained your relentless pace, her face pressed against the wall as you held your hand to the back of her neck. She felt you thrusting into her, most likely leaving a bruise on her ass and hips, but all she knew was that it felt so good she could only think of one thing-
Natasha turned her head away, a slight blush dusting her cheeks. If anyone noticed, they didn’t say. She refused to look at you until you stood up straight, geared up and ready to go. Your suit told her that there was going to be some sort of underwater aspect, and that gave her a bit of insight as to what was expected of the both of you.
The quinjet ride was awkward, to say the least. You stayed in the back while Natasha flew. She was thankful that you were keeping your distance. If you had been close, it was very possible that Natasha would have lost her damn mind.
Your suit always did do something to her.
You hadn't even bothered to take your pants off; just pulled them down far enough for you to get your strap out. Her fingers scrambled to grab purchase of something, anything, but your suit was still wet from the mission. Almost as wet as she was.
Natasha shook her head, trying to physically remove the memories. She was going to kill Nick when she got back.
She needed to focus on the mission. There was no need for it to be anything other than a mission. Get in, map out the building, get out. You would cover the lower levels, she would cover the upper, it shouldn't take more than an hour.
It was a slow descent to the checkpoint, but easy enough. You spent the last few minutes braiding your hair, keeping it out of the way and showing off the shaved part of your head. Natasha remembered teaching you how to tie those braids.
Once the quinjet was landed and you were both on solid ground, it was straight to business.
"Once you get back to solid ground, your pants and gear should be in a backpack marked on your locator," Natasha said.
"We'll meet up in the eastern stairwell," you continued, not even skipping a beat. It was like nothing had ever happened.
"Comms on?"
"Gonna miss me?" You asked, cocky as ever, but you turned the comm on anyway.
"Just get moving," Natasha huffed with a roll of her eyes. "The sooner we get in, the sooner we're done."
"See you in a minute," you winked and mock-saluted before jumping down into the hole that would be your entrance.
It's what she hated about you; how you could so easily act like nothing had ever happened.
Natasha closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Just one. Then it was time to get moving. She finished pulling her cap down, mostly covering the top half of her face before finishing the walk to the guarded entrance
She flashed a badge and they let her in without a word. One of her easier infiltrations, if she were being honest. Just went to prove that as long as she acted like she belonged, no one would question her. It was easier to blend in if you acted like there was no need for it.
Starting from the top, Natasha made her way down the building, mapping corridors, potential hidden rooms, rooms of interest. By the time she made it to your meeting point, she had marked more than enough information to assist in future missions.
All she needed was your half and she could go home.
The door to the stairwell was thrown open, slamming against the wall and causing Natasha to flinch ever so slightly. You were still soaking wet, trailing water behind you, and you didn't have your gear.  In fact, you didn't have anything.
"What happened?" Natasha asked. But the sound of an alarm being set off was answer enough.
"It wasn't me," you stated simply.
Yelling echoed in the corridor behind you, and you gave Natasha A Look. That was all she needed before you both took off running down the stairs, skipping three or four at a time. She heard a *squeak* and turned around just in time to see you fall flat on your ass with a loud grunt.
“Get up,” Natasha groaned.
She didn’t wait for you to get up on your own, instead decided to grab your arm and yank you up. Except for the fact that she had forgotten how wet you were, and how slippery your skin could get, and you ended up falling back onto your ass a second time.
“Some help you are,” you growled as you managed to push yourself back up onto your feet.
“If you weren’t such a freak, this wouldn’t even be a problem,” Natasha shot back.
You both continued running, finally reaching the bottom floor just in time to hear echoed footsteps a few floors above you. Natasha opened the door and pushed you in, quick to follow after. She shut the door and grabbed the extra harpoon bolt from your hip, shoving it between the door and the wall while you protested.
“Get going,” she said as she continued to push you forward, looking for a way out.
“We could always go through the sewers,” you suggested with a shrug when you both came to a halt in an intersection that you swore you hadn’t seen yet.
“I’m not escaping in a fucking sewer,”Natasha shot at you. “You were supposed to find us a way out.”
“It’s not my fault someone ratted us out! I don’t like being stuck with you either!” You shouted back.
“Oh sure, after all of that bullshit a few months ago, now you don’t want to get stuck with me?”
“Listen, I said I was-”
“They’re around the corner!” A voice shouted. You and Natasha shared a look, and Natasha managed to pull you into a closet just in time for footsteps to be heard coming in your direction.
“We should’ve taken the sewer,” you whisper-yelled as Natasha tried to ignore how close to you she was.
If you two had been any closer, you would’ve been inside each other, and not in the enjoyable way. Natasha’s arms were pinned in between the both of you, and she could feel your ribs under her fingers. Her ear was pressed to your body; she could hear your irregular, three-pump heartbeat loud and clear. There used to be a time she would have enjoyed being so close.
You were both silent as you waited for the footsteps and yelling to die down. Even when they had faded, you stayed still, hoping that they wouldn’t open the closet as a last resort. Your body heat was comforting, and Natasha almost found herself forgetting the danger that was just around the corner. But then you gave an awkward cough and shifted, and Natasha was brought back to the fact that this wasn’t supposed to be enjoyable.
“I think we’re safe,” Natasha mumbled.
“Let’s get out of here,” you agreed as you cleared your throat again, still incredibly uncomfortable.
You reached around her and opened the door, the both of you practically falling out of the closet. When Natasha stood up straight again, she brushed the nonexistent dirt from her suit and avoided your gaze at all costs. Only when she had regained her composure did she turn to you again.
“You mentioned a sewer?” Natasha asked, completely defeated.
You nodded and started running in the opposite direction of the yelling, leading her down corridors until you both reached a manhole cover. Natasha could smell the sewage without opening it, and she could only imagine how terrible it would be once she jumped in. But there didn’t really seem to be any other option, and you were already prying it open just enough for them to slip in.
“Ladies first,” you gestured.
“Gee, thanks,” Natasha groaned as she took her last breath of semi-pure air and jumped in.
The stench was worse than anything Natasha had ever smelled before. All the death and ruin she had witnessed, and she still believed that this was worse. She couldn’t even attempt to guess at what was causing the smell, but she didn’t think she wanted to know. Maybe it would be a little more tolerable if she just pretended it was nothing.
You jumped in after her and pulled the manhole back into place, and just like that, it was like neither of you had ever been there. You didn’t wait for her as you started making your way out of the building, and Natasha quickly followed suit. She didn’t understand how you could breathe the air like it was nothing, but maybe it was part of your physiology. Maybe you were just lucky.
It felt like an eternity before you both ran into a ladder that would take you out of the sewer. You yanked the manhole cover aside and Natasha went up first, gasping when she smelled the fresh air. It was like being reborn, she thought. Her cells felt rejuvenated and her skin felt cleaner.
As soon as you pulled the cover back on, you both ran back to the quinjet as fast as you could. The stench of sewage followed you, stuck to your clothes; they would probably be incinerated when you got back to the tower. But you were out, and you could head back with enough confidence to tell Nick that you had at least gotten half of the building mapped out.
“You fly, I think I’m drying out,” you groaned. Natasha didn’t argue.
She sat in the pilot’s seat and set a course for the tower, wanting nothing more than a hot shower and a good sleep. But she looked back in time to see you stripping your suit off, groaning as it literally peeled off. Inch by inch, she saw your shoulders, your spines, your back, those abs.
You were never one to let anyone see you undressed, but Natasha loved that she was allowed. The way you shifted and twitched when her fingers ran over your skin, when you whined if she kissed that spot on your back. Loved the feel of your abs flexing as you thrusted into her at an inhuman pace that had her moaning and cumming for hours and-
“Nat, pull up!”
Natasha felt your hands covering hers, yanking up, and the real world unfolded before her eyes. The ground was quickly approaching, and the sound of the air rushing past the quinjet was enough to make Natasha’s hands shake. Only when the jet was back up and on course did she start to settle.
“Are you trying to get us killed?” You shouted, but Natasha just turned back to the front, trying her hardest to ignore the stinging in her eyes.
You grumbled and walked off, and Natasha could feel the frustration radiating off of you. But she didn’t really care anymore. She had nearly gotten you both killed because she had been too busy remembering you railing her. Natasha couldn’t do this anymore, couldn’t be around you anymore.
Not if she wanted to stay alive.
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wlwmarvelenthusiast · 3 years
Text
More Than A Friend
Summary: A weekend trip with Carol leads you to realize you might like her a little more than you'd thought.
Pairing: Carol Danvers x Reader
Warnings: language
Word Count: 6,194
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You crept into the bar. It was a rowdy place, even this early in the evening. Your eyes scanned the crowd, taking in all the different people that were scattered throughout the room. The football game was playing on the TV, but unfortunately, it wasn't really your sport. Finally, your eyes landed on a blonde sitting at the bar. You moved toward her, a smirk on your face. You didn't even bother to slide into the seat next to her.
Your hand touched her hip and your lips were right next to her ear when you spoke. "What's a beautiful thing like you doing all alone here?"
She startled a little, whipping to face you. When she saw you, though, she smacked you away, an unamused expression taking over the surprised look she'd had a minute ago. You slid onto the stool next to her, eyes watching as the bartender held up a single finger to indicate he'd be over to you in a moment. You only nodded in acknowledgment before turning back to the girl beside you, the smirk still on your lips.
"You're an idiot, you know that?" She rolled her eyes.
"Come off it, Care-bear, you love me."
"Christ, I hate when you call me that."
"I apologize, oh Captain, my captain."
The bartender arrived and prevented her from retaliating. You didn't even bother looking back at her as you ordered your drink of choice, glancing up at the football game that you didn't care about in order to not look at Carol. She finally snorted and bumped her shoulder against yours. It made you look back at her, unable to keep a smile from forming on your face when she gave you a hearty wink. She laughed.
"How was work?"
You shrugged. "People are idiots."
When you were sixteen, you'd worked a retail job where you'd learned just how stupid people really were. You'd learned that fully-grown adults had nothing better in their lives to do than yell at teenaged, minimum wage workers during their spare time for nothing more than a minor inconvenience. When you'd become an Avenger, you thought that would stop. You were incorrect. You might not have been a teenaged retail worker anymore, but people found a reason to lose their temper anyway- even right after you'd saved their life.
"That good, huh?" She chuckled.
"Are people nicer on other planets, Care-bear? Take me with you?"
"They're not, no," Carol huffed, sipping from her glass. "And the drinks don't taste as good."
You wondered what she was drinking that she seemed to be enjoying so much. It was colourful, and had, at this point, piqued your interest. You reached out and snatched from where it sat in front of her on the bar. You sniffed it first. It was something fruity, that was all you could figure. Finally, you dared raise the glass to your lips. The second the liquid touched your tongue you felt like you might overdose on sugar and sweetness.
"Oh, my God, Carol!" You exclaimed, setting the drink back down on the bar top and sliding it to her. "What the hell is that?"
"She got it extra sweet," the bartender said as he walked by. "Your friend's got a sugar addiction."
It didn't seem to bother her at all. While you felt you could puke from the sugar content alone, she was sipping it happily. You rolled your eyes at her, reaching for your own drink, much preferring the taste of it. Carol turned to you suddenly, the straw still between her lips. You watched as she lowered it back down, using the same straw to stir the drink around, the ice clinking off the side of the glass as she did. She sipped it again.
"What's our weekend plans, then?" Carol asked finally.
"Who says I have plans with you?"
"Oh, please. You practically begged me to come stay on Earth for a weekend."
"I did absolutely no such thing."
You absolutely did do that. Carol was away from Earth more often than not and you missed her. It wasn't like it was a crime to. So, you'd phoned her up and asked her over and over to come spend just one weekend on Earth with you. She'd finally agreed on the eighth ask, and now here you sat; on the right of the girl you'd missed so dearly, teasing her relentlessly about whatever that abomination was swirling around in her glass.
"We're taking my new car on a little road trip," you finally gave, sipping your drink. "Music, fast-food, and deep talks on the interstate."
"Snacks?"
"Snacks too," you promised with a chuckle. "And we can get a nice motel room or pitch a tent at night. Whichever you please."
You had to laugh at the smile that had crept over her face. The way she giggled in excitement, you had to wonder if it'd just been too long since her last day off or if the alcohol had gotten to her already. She waved the bartender lever as she finished hers. He placed a new one in front of her, and she thanked him quickly, bringing it close and immediately bringing the straw between her lips. You wondered whether the sugar or alcohol content would hospitalize her quicker.
"So, when do we leave?" She chirped.
"In the morning. Don't drink too much. You'll get hungover and I want to actually have fun."
She stuck her tongue out at you. You rolled your eyes in response, finishing your own drink and then declining another. You didn't want to be hungover when you were the one driving the two of you around. The bartender brought you a pop instead. You sipped on it, watching a bar-goer stumbled over with a drunk grin on his face and tapped Carol on the shoulder. He said something you didn't quite hear, but you saw Carol nod. He took her hands and dragged her onto the dance floor. You brought her drink toward you.
Carol was a flirt. She always had been. She was a flirt with you, your teammates, and strangers. She was also gay. This dance with this guy didn't mean much to her. You weren't sure if it even meant much to him. You couldn't be sure that he'd even remember this dance. He was absolutely wasted, and it wasn't even midnight. Regardless, he seemed to be enjoying it. His eyes travelled up and down Carol's body and you squeezed the glass in your hand a little tighter. You were protective of her, despite knowing she could absolutely hold her own.
When the song finished, she winked at him, retreating back to your spot at the bar. She finished up her drink and then insisted the two of you head back to your place and that you were right: she didn't want to be nursing a hangover while you were supposed to be having a good time. You paid the bartender and then linked your arm with hers, leading her out the door and onto the streets. She glanced up at the tall buildings around her. A smile had formed on her face.
"You don't appreciate how beautiful this place is."
You glanced up at the glowing buildings that towered above you and marvelled, for a moment, at the soft light that radiated off them. Your gaze was tugged downward, though, at a rustling noise. You were snapped back into the reality of your city as you watched a rat scurry along the curb of the sidewalk in the direction opposite you. You chuckled at that, motioning to it as you looked up to catch Carol's bright gaze.
"Surely some of those planets are far more beautiful than this."
She shrugged. "Some, maybe. Some are worse. Some are kind of alike to this. This has always been my favourite, though."
You might have understood that if Carol had taken the time to visit the actual beautiful parts of the Earth. But she was always in the city. She'd never gone to stare in amazement at a waterfall or glance at towering mountains. She had never seen the true beauties of this Earth, and you promised in that moment to change that fact. If she thought New York City was beautiful, she would be blown off her feet by the things you showed her.
"One day, Carol, I'll show you the actual beautiful things on this Earth."
"You're pretty beautiful yourself."
You smacked her. That was her flirty side coming out once again. It didn't mean anything. It never had. So, you wondered what that strange flutter in your chest was when she said the words. You ignored it, passing it off as a longing for a meaningful relationship. You hadn't had one of those in a while now. You probably just wanted someone to say those words to you and mean it. You made a mental note to sign up for an online dating site after the weekend had passed. It was too hard to meet people in your line of work without them.
"Yeah, I know," was all you gave in response.
When you glanced over at her, she had a grin on her face.
It wasn't long until you'd reached your apartment building. You smiled at the front desk as you entered the lobby and immediately made for the elevator. You pressed the button to the seventh floor and waited patiently for the doors. You knew Carol was suppressing a squeal of glee when they arrived. She usually just flew everywhere. Using simple inventions like this one had always gotten her more excited than the average person. To anyone else, an elevator was just a boring elevator.
"Can I do it?" She asked as you pulled out your key.
Carol really was just like a child, in a sense. Everything was so advanced out in space that these were the things she enjoyed doing. You pointed out the bronze key and watched her run ahead. She practically skipped the distance to your apartment door. She pushed the key into the lock and turned it, glancing back at you and smiling widely when the door pushed open. You smiled affectionately as you took the key back from her.
She may not have visited Earth overly often, but every time she did, she visited your apartment. Resultantly, she knew her way around. She knew, as well, that you didn't mind in the slightest if she made herself at home. She slid her shoes off and jumped onto the couch, pulling the blanket down over top of her and snuggling into it. You actually took a photo of the sight before you moved into the room behind her, lifting her legs, sitting on the couch, and then dropping them back over your lap.
"Can we watch a movie?" Carol asked, pleading gaze turning to you.
You showed her the remote you'd been reaching for. "Already on it, Captain Danvers."
"I take it back," she giggled, tossing her head back so that it hit the armrest. "That's worse. You can call me-"
"Aw, my Care-Bear!" You laughed, shifting your position so you could throw your arms around her shoulders.
Carol grunted at the impact against her torso. Once you settled, though, she breathed a little easier. You were both squished against one side of the couch, now, but the closeness was nothing new to you. You still had the remote in hand, and aimed it at the TV, managing to get it to Netflix. You flicked on a random horror movie, setting the remote back down on the coffee table in front of you. You nestled back into the cushions.
It had always amused you how jumpy Carol got when she watched horror movies. She was a literal superhero that fought literal aliens all the night and day and yet a ghost jumping out of a darkened corridor had her cringing away from the TV screen and pulling the blanket further up her body as if in an attempt to protect her. She would always adamantly deny it if you ever brought it up later. You would never show her the picture you had of her, fuzzy blue blanket pulled all the way up to her nose, eyes wide, as she watched The Conjuring. She would delete it off your phone as you slept.
Today, though, her nerves seemed to be calmed somewhat by the cup of tea she had clasped between her hands. She looked entirely content, sitting cross-legged on the couch with that same fuzzy blanket draped over her lap and a grey, ceramic mug warming her palms. The alcohol had clearly gotten to her a little, you realized, as you watched her eyelids droop every once in a while. The corner of your mouth tilted upward ever so slightly. She was wide awake a moment later.
It was a sudden jump scare. Even being half asleep, Carol was still paying attention. So, when the TV boomed and there was a flash and a scream, she jumped. The tea that she'd been holding in her lap sloshed over the edges, a large amount of liquid soaking into the couch cushions. You were out of your seat in an instant, reaching for the remote to pause. Carol was apologizing profusely, jumping to her feet and following you to the kitchen.
"It's okay, Carol. It's fine," you chuckled, wetting a dish towel and grabbing some paper towels. "Hey, it's fine. Really. Chill out."
Carol seemed hesitant to do that. When you lightheartedly flicked the wet towel at her, though, she finally smiled taking the paper towel out of your hand and heading back to the living room, pressing the paper towel into the couch and absorbing as much of the liquid as she could. When she'd finished, you used the wet rag to clean the beverage out. As you tossed the paper towel away and threw the dishrag into the kitchen sink, you stood back and took a look at the large wet spot on the couch.
"Guess we're moving to my room, then. Let's go, Care-Bear."
Carol nodded. She trod behind you into the bedroom, where you flopped onto the bed. She was lagging behind and you waved her onward to hurry her up. She finally jumped onto the bed and sat next to you, sliding her legs underneath the covers. You turned on the small TV in your room and resumed the movie you'd been watching. In the soft comfort of the bed, though, it seemed the tug for sleep was greater. Carol's eyes finally fluttered shut and she lay down against the pillows. You chuckled, turning off the movie.
You, unlike your friend, hadn't fallen asleep involuntary. You were able to head to the bathroom and brush your teeth before yawning tiredly and deciding to join. You padded back into the room, climbed under the covers, shut off the lights, and lay your head onto your own pillow. You smiled once at Carol's sleeping figure before you shut your eyes, letting sleep take you.
*
As hard as you tried to convince her, you weren't able to get Carol to stick her head back inside the sunroof. You weren't sure how to breeze was so exhilarating to her. The superhuman could fly faster than your car was going right now. The wind in her hair had to be a familiar feeling at this point. Plus, there were no laws against flying above the interstate to feel the wind in your hair. There were, however, laws about standing with your entire torso stuck out the roof of the car.
You'd given up a while ago. If she fell out, she'd be just fine. If she got you a ticket? Oh, there would be serious hell to pay. She'd agreed to that already. You'd honestly be surprised, though, if she did get ticketed. It'd be quite a sight to see: a measly police officer ticketing the Human-Kree Hybrid superhero. That sight alone might actually be worth the fine you would have to pay. By the time she'd pulled her head back in, though, blonde hair windblown and a smile plastered to her face, you'd yet to see a single cop.
"Have fun?" You asked, doing up the sunroof.
"Absolutely. You should try."
"Do you know how to drive?" You scoffed.
"I can fly a ship."
"Yeah, I'm sure UFO controls are much different than cars so I'm gonna have to politely ask you to stay the hell away from my car."
Carol only stuck her tongue out at you. She still didn't do her seatbelt up yet. She twisted her body so that she could reach into the back seat. You turned back to the road, but when you shot a second glance at her a few seconds later, she was popping open a can of Pringles with a large grin on her face. She bit down onto a chip with a giggle before turning the can to you. You reached into it with one hand and took a small handful of them, setting them down on the centre console for easier access.
"Where are we staying tonight?" Carol asked through a mouthful of chips.
"A campground up in a small town in Ontario," you hummed. "It's still a good few hours away. I'd ask if you wanted to stop for food, but I'd guess you've filled up on snacks."
She dug through her backpack. "Do I need this?"
She held up the passport you'd made her get last time the two of you had headed up to Toronto. Despite the fact that she really wasn't a citizen of the United States... or even of Earth, you'd managed to get S.H.I.E.L.D. to make you an exception for Carol. It was the perks of being an Avenger, and a close friend of Nick Fury, you supposed. To answer her question, you simply nodded your head as you reached for the Gatorade in your cup holder. She stuck the papers back into her bag.
"So, are you seeing anyone?"
The question almost made you spit the red beverage onto the steering wheel. It wasn't that you and Carol had never talked about it. She was one of your closest friends, after all. She was the first one you'd called when you'd realized your feelings for your last girlfriend, and she was the first one you'd called when you'd broken up. Carol wasn't someone you didn't talk about your love life with. It was just that it was completely and entirely out of the blue. It didn't help that the answer was still no, even after the long period of time since she'd last asked it.
You'd tried to assure yourself that you were just busy with work. It wasn't a lie. You'd been busy as hell ever since Loki's sceptre had inexplicably gone missing after the Battle in New York. But it wasn't just that, you knew full well. Something seemed to be wrong with your brain, or maybe your heart. Maybe it was just that your standards were practically in the clouds, but no one seemed attractive to you anymore. Not even the girl Natasha had tried to set you up with (and you were well convinced that Natasha only knew attractive people).
"Not at the moment, no," you finally admitted. "You?"
"On-and-off," she shrugged. "Just a girl from a planet called Xandar."
A pang of jealousy struck your chest. You were carving something- anything. You would've given anything even for something on-and-off just about now. Had it really been that long? You could hardly believe you were jealous of her. It wasn't like you to be jealous of something someone else had. You were supposed to be happy for her, not sulking over your own lack of a love life... or sex life. You forced a smile at her, wishing it could be real.
"Oh, yeah? Tell me about her."
"Not too much to tell," Carol said, biting down on a potato chip. "She's cute, funny, sweet. A little younger than me, but most people are," she chuckled as she glanced over at you. You plastered a phone smile back onto your lips and forced a laugh from your chest. "Her name's Alya."
You almost grumbled, but managed to bite your tongue on time. You resorted to ripping open a packet of gummy bears in order to keep your mouth full and therefore unable to make any snarky comments. Carol didn't seem to notice that, only reaching over and grabbing a green bear out of the bag. Though you might have been a little frustrated, you let her. It wasn't her fault that you were touch-starved and desperate.
"You know, we could spend this trip trying to find you a girlfriend," Carol grinned, tossing a candy into the air and catching it in her mouth.
"No," you denied immediately. You didn't need for her to see how weird your head was being right now. You were certain there was no one she could find that would be able to snap you out of this strange state of no one being attractive to you, yet craving someone. "I'm not looking for a girlfriend in Ontario."
"What's wrong with girls from Ontario?" Carol teased.
She'd been to Ontario once before. She'd pointed out that, though they may have dressed a little different and talked a little different, the girls from Ontario were just as attractive as the girls from New York. You'd had to point out that, at the time, she'd had a girlfriend. With Carol's ogling at girls on Earth, clearly, she and the girlfriend hadn't been working out well. They'd broken up two weeks later, leaving them both a little hurt, but not beyond repair. Even still, they saw each other for lunch or for a drink, but just as friends. It was admirable; the respect they had retained for one another.
"Nothing is wrong with girls from Ontario," you huffed. "I'm just not in the mood. This is supposed to be our weekend."
"What if I want to spend our weekend finding you a girl?"
"I don't. Drop it," you finally snapped.
Immediately guilt rushed to settle in the pit of your stomach. You readjusted your grip on the steering wheel as your gaze refused to leave the road in front of you. You didn't want to glance over at the frown that had surely taken the place of that infectious smile you loved so dearly. You definitely didn't want to look at it knowing that you were the cause of it. Carol was so incredibly joyful all the time and that was one of the things you loved about her. To be the one who had taken that joy from her, even momentarily, broke your heart.
"I'm sorry," you muttered.
She didn't answer that.
You attempted to swallow the lump in your throat as you tried to focus on driving instead of picturing the frown that was probably tugging at each of Carol's features. You wished you could actually physically kick yourself for what you'd done. She didn't deserve you snapping at her like that. She hadn't done anything wrong. You were just being pissy for reasons you weren't sure even you quite understood. You finally turned to her, but she was looking out the window.
"Look, Carol-"
"Hey, don't worry. Sorry I pushed."
You didn't deserve Carol Susan Jane Danvers one single bit. She deserved more than the world and you swore right then you'd work every moment to give that to her. Despite how you'd treated her for reasons she couldn't possibly have understood, when she turned to you, she was still smiling. As always, her smile put a smile on your face too. You turned away from those soft brown eyes to glance back at the road in front of you.
"It's okay. I'm sorry I snapped. I just... it's a long story, Care-Bear."
"We've got a long ride ahead of us," she tried.
"I don't know that I'm feeling like talking about it right this second," you admitted.
She seemed to accept that. You felt her touch your arm with her hand. Warmth seemed to rush from her touch, up your arms, and into your chest. How one person could instill such comfort into you amazed you. She said a few soft words to you that you didn't quite hear, but you felt you might not need to. You knew they were words of comfort. Just that knowledge was enough to put a smile onto your face. Your eyes flickered from her to the road.
"No problem," Carol chimed. Then, without missing a single beat, she changed the subject. "Hey, which bag did you put the Fuzzy Peaches in?"
"The green backpack."
Just like that, it was easy again. Carol didn't let you linger on just how upset you were for more than a second. She practically dived into the back seat for the backpack, reappearing with the orange package in her hand. She plopped back down into her seat, still refused to put her seatbelt on, and ripped the package open. She reached out and turned up the music when one of your favourite songs came on. You wondered if she knew that.
*
"No! That piece goes over here!" You insisted.
Carol frowned and handed you the long pole.
Pitching a tent with an alien who hadn't even known was a tent was, up until five minutes ago, was not easy. She'd practically rolled herself up like a burrito in the rain fly right after nearly putting the stakes directly through the floor to pin the tent down. You'd been guiding her, preventing any damage from coming to it. She was listening intently, making sure she did everything exactly how you said. She stuck the peg through the guy line and looked at you.
"Like that?"
"Yeah. Perfect. I think we're just about done, Care-Bear."
At that, she unzipped the door, diving through it into the empty tent. You reached into the trunk of your car, throwing the many pillows, blankets, and sleeping bags through behind her, not caring much where they landed. When you finally shut the door and ducked into the tent, Carol was beneath the large pile, peering out from where only the top half of her face was visible. You had to chuckle, grabbing one of the blankets and pulling it over her face.
Carol insisted she set up. She had you sit aside by the door, munching happily on a small bowl of popcorn as you watched. She carefully unzipped the sleeping bags and lay them down on the floor, putting the pillows atop them, and then the two comforters stacked on top of each other on top of that. When she finally finished, she gestured proudly to her completed setup. You raised an eyebrow.
"We both sleeping there?"
She nodded. "It's cold."
You had to give her that. You were practically shivering just from waiting for her to finish. The sun had dipped beyond the horizon at this point, the darkness of night did nothing to heat up the air around you. You clambered under the blankets, careful not to drop any of the popcorn you still held. You placed it next to you, letting Carol reach over and grab some as she, too, climbed into the makeshift bed. She popped a piece into her mouth.
"Up to talking about it yet?"
It was a genuine question. Carol wasn't pushy. That was something you could tell by her tone. She had waited patiently and was continuing to wait for you to be ready to talk about what you needed to talk about. She didn't want you bottling it up, but she didn't want to pressure you. She was able to do that. You glanced down at the red blanket that covered your legs, pondering her question for a moment. Then you nodded your head yes.
"I just haven't felt myself recently," you shrugged. "I would like to get out there and find someone, no doubt. Recently, though, it's like my standards are unmeetable. No one seems even remotely appealing to me."
"No one at all?"
"Nat tried to set me up with her Russian model friend," you said, turning to Carol with a grin finally on your lips.
"Nothing?" Carol said, an exaggerated amount of shock on her face. "You must be broken."
You shoved her. She chuckled; the offensive action having done nothing. She was inhumanly strong. If you'd decided to punch her, you likely would've broken your hand against her. She shoved you back, only lightly, so you moved a few inches away from her. She stuck her hand back into the popcorn bowl as you shuffled back into your place beside her. She was chewing thoughtfully, and you didn't dare interrupt her with the very focused expression on her face.
"Do you already like someone? That usually takes away the appeal of anyone else."
You stopped to think about that. You knew that could be the case. In eleventh grade when you'd had a crush on Adelaide Artenbaker, you'd suddenly failed to find anyone else attractive at all. Of course, Adelaide had eventually rejected you on account that she was straight as an arrow. It wasn't malicious. She'd actually given you a kiss on the cheek and assured you that, if she discovered wasn't, she'd let you know. It had made you laugh.
Now, you had to wonder if there was anyone that was making your stomach flip and making you dismiss anyone else. It wasn't the Avengers. You'd been in the changing room with Natasha, the Black fucking Widow, two days ago, and she'd strutted up to you in nothing but her bra and underwear. You hadn't even bat an eyelash as she'd asked you if you wanted to get some Chinese food after the mission (but you had said yes, of course).
"Yeah. Maybe."
Her words had knocked some serious sense into you. You definitely had a crush on someone, and it had definitely been impairing your ability to get out on a date. That someone was around so little, though, that you hadn't realized right away just how you felt for them. Maybe if she visited Earth a little more often, you'd have realized why you blushed so deeply when she'd crawled into bed with you last night or right now.
"Who is it, then?"
Carol had a girlfriend. It may have been on-again-off-again, but she had a girlfriend. You were not now, nor ever, someone who would come between that. You were going to let her be happy with someone who was making her happy and you were going to be happy for her. You plastered a smile onto your face and reached into the bowl of popcorn that sat on your lap, letting the snack cloud the feelings of jealousy that you knew now weren't jealousy of a relationship, but if Carol.
"Nat."
Carol didn't miss a single beat. "Liar."
You glared at her. "The fuck do you mean? Telling me who I do and do not like?"
"I know who has your heart right now. It isn't Nat."
This time when she reached for the popcorn, she leaned over. To support her weight, her hand came to rest on your upper thigh. You had to refrain from reacting. You sucked the inside of your cheek between your teeth, biting hard on it to suppress any sort of reaction that Carol would have noticed. It seemed to have worked. She grabbed a small handful and then backed away, the pressure of her hand disappearing from your limb.
"Yeah? Who is it, then?"
"Someone that likes you back."
"And who says Nat doesn't?"
You might have actually been offended if it weren't Carol you were talking to. You were good enough for Natasha, right? She was practically a goddess in respect to her looks, but you were something, too. Not that you liked Natasha in that way. She was a friend. Carol was the one that you cared about. Something about that sweet smile and that confidence mixed with an innocence she had after being away from Earth for so long warmed your heart every time.
"Fair," Carol admitted. "But you know, you're pretty oblivious. With all the hints I've been dropping, you'd think you'd have realized your feelings are reciprocated."
"What?"
"I like you, dumbass. More than a friend likes a friend."
Your jaw might have dropped. You coughed, choking on the popcorn that you'd been eating as you whirled to face the blonde. She had a twinkle in her eyes, and a giggle escaped her lips when she saw the expression on your face. She tossed a piece of popcorn into the air, catching it in her mouth. She chewed on it as she waited, arms crossed, for you to collect yourself. Finally, after a long drink of water, you calmed.
"Pardon?"
"You're an idiot," she mumbled.
Then she grabbed the front of your shirt and pulled you closer. You didn't fail to notice, as your lips moved against hers, that she moved the popcorn bowl so that it wouldn't spill. It seemed completely unimportant, though. You felt everything starting to melt away into Carol Danvers. Her lips were talented and kissing her felt like an intricate sport and suddenly you needed to breathe. When you pushed away, you realized what you'd done wrong.
Her feelings to you didn't matter. She had a girlfriend. Unless that fact changed, she and you didn't get to be more than your friend. You pushed her even further away. You knew she had the ability to, but she didn't resist. You backed off a little further so that your bodies were completely separated. Her eyebrows knitted together in confusion, but she didn't push. She even waited for you to speak first. Your eyes wouldn't meet hers.
"You have a girlfriend."
"I just said that to make you jealous," she scoffed.
You immediately got defensive. "I was not jealous."
"You were so!"
"Shut up."
She did. You suspected the only reason she had shut up was because she was kissing you again. It didn't matter. You were on cloud nine. You felt right again. You felt more right now than you ever had. Carol was exactly what you had needed for longer than you could figure out right then. She was clouding your thoughts and, honestly, you couldn't have cared less. You didn't want to think about anything besides how good her lips felt on yours right then.
You couldn't even find it in yourself to be mad at her for the little stunt she had pulled. You could only be glad that this so-called girlfriend wasn't actually real, and was just a part of her stupid plan. Without the girlfriend, you were free to kiss her as much as she would let you. Judging by how she was kissing you now, she wasn't going to stop you anytime soon. Her teeth grazed your bottom lip as she pulled away, not moving more than an inch from your lips, though.
The hand that clasped your shirt uncurled. She pressed her hand flat against the centre of your chest, pushing you onto your back. You had to chuckle as her knees pressed into the ground on either side of your waist. She kissed your nose once, scowling at the laughs that were beginning to bubble from your chest. You leaned up and kissed her lips for a brief moment, before using a hand to caress her cheek and tuck her hair behind her ear.
"What are you laughing at?"
"Nothing. You were right," you stated. "I'm kinda glad you were right."
"You're kind of glad? Can you imagine how stupid I'd have looked if I were wrong?" Carol laughed.
"Quite," you agreed with a nod.
You pulled her down next to you, wrapping your arms around her and feeling hers do the same to you. You pressed your forehead against hers, taking the time to admire her smiling face. She giggled a little, pecking your lips quickly. She didn't linger, though, having been preoccupied in reaching over your shoulder into the bowl of popcorn once more. She shoved a few pieces into her mouth and chewed happily.
"Care-Bear, what's more important: me or snacks?"
"You are a snack."
You gaped. "How the hell did you learn that term?"
She shrugged. "I hear things."
You rolled your eyes, pushing her away from you. She let you, reaching for her water bottle to wash down some of the salty flavour that had come off the popcorn. She offered you some water, which you accepted. When you finished and handed the bottle back to her, she pulled you close to her. Your body moved until it was flush against hers. Her torso was so warm you could've fallen asleep right then and there.
"You're more important."
Being more important than snacks, in the opinion of Carol Danvers, was just about the highest compliment you could have received.
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anika-ann · 3 years
Text
Words Whispered in the Dark
Type: Modern-college-professor AU - part of Attached series or a standalone
Pairing: professor!Steve Rogers x reader   Word count: 6250🙈
Summary: There are things, intimate desires, which people simply don’t want to talk about out loud. Since you prefer writing those down, it applies twice as much. 
Steve supports your writing – but what he’d think about your newest story… well, you’re not sure you wanted to know.
Warnings: 18+, nsfw, smut, bondage, oral (M rec), consensual sensory deprivation, praise kink & body worship, ‘babygirl’, fingering, dom/sub undertones & implied age gap & professor-student dynamic & cumplay if you squint, language ---- (let me know if I missed any…why is the list so long wtf)
A/N: Can be read as a standalone. Part of the Attached ‘verse with professor!Steve.
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A/N: For Siri’s 5K Soft Dark Challenge. Congratulations to the rightfully earned milestone ❤️ Thank you for hosting the challenge and kindly including even soft fics (even though I feel like my soft got lost in translation a bit).
Prompt: “Oh, honey, you weren’t supposed to see that.” - bold in the text, pls don’t @ me for the way I used it.
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Stepping back into your and Steve’s shared bedroom and study room in one, you froze on spot, heart leaping to your throat.
You were lucky you didn’t drop your coffee and snack upon the sight of him, your fingers gripping the items tighter in surprise instead. But fuck, was it a close call.
Because few minutes ago, you moved to the kitchen to grab some refreshments for your brain. Relaxed air had settled over your tiny but loving household on a late Sunday morning; Steve was chilling on the bed, while you sat by your desk, laptop in your lap as your fingers danced over the keyboard, putting into words your latest… uhm, story. It was going great too and being able to steal glances at your gorgeous fiancé and muse in one person was a pleasant bonus.
Steve was, as sheepish as it sometimes made you, well-acquainted with your passion for writing, even rooting for you in his fully-supportive partner mode at all times. He read a few things of yours, both dirty and sweet ones, and he seemed to be genuinely enjoying himself. You weren’t hiding things from him, never had to; and damn, did it feel good for both of you.
So technically, you knew there was a chance you’d find him behind your desk, eyes skimming over your words since you left the computer opened, just like the document, but… well.
Nothing could prepare you for the sight on him actually doing it, shoulders tense, Adam’s apple bobbing, breathing shaky as his chest kept rising and falling irregularly.
Your own breath hitched at the sight, face feeling like set aflame, pulse hammering in your temples.
Oh no. Oh shit. This wasn’t happening--
Truth was, you really had no problem sharing your stories with Steve. But this one… well, fuck. You were so fucking screwed.
“Oh---oh honey,” you stuttered, the endearment you rarely used tasting foreign on your tongue. That was how out of it you were upon realizing what was happening here.
Steve was reading it. Steve was reading that thing. That shameless, entirely dubious thing that--- this was bad. Bad, bad, bad, really fucking bad—he hadn’t run for the hills before, no matter how filthy your stories got, but now he certainly would.
Steve’s head snapped to you at instant, cheeks flushed, eyes wide as he was caught red-handed.
“You- uh, you weren’t supposed to… see that,” you stuttered awkwardly, still unable to move an inch.
Maybe you should run for the hills just so you wouldn’t have to deal with the aftermath?
He didn’t react apart from spinning in the chair to face you, throat working again as his gaze trailed up and down your figure clad in a simple shirt and shorts, fluffy socks to keep your feet warm. Despite your plain outfit, his gaze burned with intensity and dare to say hunger, enough to stir heat in your belly.
Realizing this might be the last time you’d ever see him (okay, that was a bit of an exaggeration, maybe, but better safe than sorry), you let yourself to take him in as well, again, even if you knew every line of his body, every detail. The cut of his jaw, tendons in his throat tense as well as his shoulders, long fingers griping the armrests, legs slightly parted, accenting the unmistakable growing bulge between them.
Your heart skipped a startled and excited beat. Oh. Well. At least he liked what he read, you supposed, even if all bells in your head were ringing it alarm, because… that. That kind of story would be a little too much for him, you had thought.
Was it?
“Come here,” he whispered, voice hoarse as if he had just woken up, the same voice that caressed your ear as he rutted into you, in the lazy loving which so perfectly fit a morning like this.
Willing your feet to move, teeth sunk into your lower lip, your fluffy socks padded almost soundlessly against the floor as you obeyed his request.
He gestured for you to rid yourself of the items in your hands; once again, you obliged.
The second your hands were free, he grabbed your wrist, pulling you in for a dirty kiss, fingers sinking into your hair to keep you exactly where he wanted you. Sighing in relief, you relaxed into his affection and he wasted no time licking into your mouth, his free hand gripping onto your shirt (his shirt) to drag you into his lap.
A hazardous position in an office chair, one might think. But you had a lot of practice with your favourite professor.
Sliding lower in the seat and pulling you up, Steve positioned you to his liking, drawing an appreciative hum from you as his erection rubbed deliciously against your core. You felt him smile into the kiss at the little sound you made, his fingers digging into your flesh in order to press you into him further, rutting against your quickly dampening centre.
Okay, who were you kidding. You had been writing down your filthy fantasy, you were already soaked, Steve’s movements and apparent enthusiasm just adding to the heat. A whine escaped your lips when he withdrew a fraction, giving you a chance to breathe, hand slipping under your shorts to fondle your lower cheek.
“Well, I did see it, sweetheart,” Steve said lowly, a little too short of breath for the teasing to work in his favour. Still, your stomach twisted in anticipation of what was to follow. “And I want it.”
Your eyes snapped open, your lips parting in awe, butterflies erupting in your stomach. You met his eyes, dark pupils having almost swallowed the blue of his irises, gaze intent to prove his point. Fuck. You could come right now if he kept you sitting exactly as you were and watching you like that.
It was one thing to see him react to your fantasy laid bare for him to see – voluntarily or not – but him admitting it out loud, well that was just a whole new fucking level.
Now the idea of that actually being doable was planted in our brain and your core clenched at the wistful image you had painted with your words.
It took you another minute of staring at each other to realize what exactly he was saying without explicitly voicing it.
“Wait, right now?” you blurted out breathlessly, a single nod and a kiss to the corner of your mouth your only answer.
Fuck. Shit. Okay.
“A-alright. Let’s do this then,” you stuttered, as thrilled as nervous.
You didn’t expect that – but you weren’t one to let the opportunity pass. You framed Steve’s face with your palms, his beard rough against your skin, and pressed your lips to his in a hurried kiss, eager to get him where you needed him before he changed his mind. Last grind of your hips, swallowing his content hum, you climbed from his lap to search for something that would hold.
“Bed. Now.”
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Your fingers were shaking a bit under his intent gaze as they slipped under his t-shirt, pulling it over his head. Steve was sitting on the bed now, legs parted enough for you to stand between them, watching our every move. You didn’t think you’d ever get used to the way he was looking at you – so tender, with longing and yet with such lust.
It lit your nerves on fire in the worst and best ways and that was alright with you, as long as you’d get to keep him.
He smiled at you softly, a little quirk to his eyebrow when he caught you staring and not springing into action just yet.
“What is it, babygirl?”
His hands trailing up your waist made it harder to answer.
You sighed, feeling your earlier confidence wavering. “You’re just so fucking pretty, it’s unreal.”
His lips curled up in a smirk, but the light in his eyes gave away just how much the compliment meant for him. He pulled you closer, a breathy kiss landing on your clothed stomach.
“That coming from you… could look at you all day, you must already know that,” he murmured to your shirt, sending a sparkle of courage up your chest.
You ruffled his hair and pushed him away with a chuckle, mirroring his previous smirk.
“Well, you won’t, not this time,” you sing-sang cheekily, stepping over his thigh to kneel on the bed behind him, hearing his breath catch, his hand brushing your thigh as you danced out of his reach.
Placing the scarf over his forehead first, you felt your insides twist in anticipation, fingertips tingling. God, you were really doing this.
“You ready, Professor Rogers?” you hummed to his ear, marvelling at the effect the title had on him, always, as his hands clenched into fists on his thighs.
“When you say it like that, babygirl? Yes, I am,” he grumbled, causing you to bit down on your lip.
Making sure you didn’t tie the knot too tight nor too loose, you moved the fabric so it would cover his eyes.
“Good?”
“Uh-huh,” was his wordless answer as you let your hands slid to his bare shoulders.
Steve was undoubtedly a specimen. He was every male-attracted person’s wet dream and you were the one getting your hands on him.  You thanked heaven and hell for it every day. The barely visible lines of his abs, toned chest… but Christ, it was his back that would be your downfall.
Allowing your hands to wander, your fingertips traced the hard lines of his deltoids, a featherlight touch making him shudder and your mouth to actually salivate. Dropping a kiss between his shoulder blades, you scooted closer so you were literally breathing down his neck, palms sprawled over his triceps, caressing his thick biceps, down his forearms and over his fists and all the way back up.
It was almost like a beginning of a massage, you supposed, but no one could blame you if you were enjoying the sensation on your palms a little too much. You didn’t get the opportunity to appreciate Steve’s physique like this often enough. So you indulged yourself a few more times, applying more pressure, dropping a kiss to the crook of his neck every once in a while. He winced at the accidental scrape of your nails up his forearm, causing you to halt in your movements.
“You still good?” you questioned quietly, genuinely worried for a second. You realized he had barely made a sound so far.
“You could say that, yeah,” he choked out you felt your lips curl up into a smile. Stealing a glance over his shoulder, you took notice of the unmistakable hard outline on his sweatpants and gleefully resumed your movements, nibbling on his shoulder before soothing the skin with a gentle lick. “Babygirl…”
“Yeah?”
“You know what. Don’t test me,” he warned, only making you smile wider.
“Or what?”
He turned his head to side despite not being able to see you, giving you a perfect view of how tense was his jaw. Oh, you could imagine the stern look he wanted to scold you with.
“Or you’re not gonna like what’s to come when I put my hands on you,” he threatened, sighing exasperatedly when you replied with a barely audible ‘promise?’.
“In all seriousness though… what if you… uhm, couldn’t?” you asked reluctantly, not keen on sharing what you wanted… but wanting it really badly. You were sensing a pattern within yourself, seriously.
“I don’t follow---  oh,” escaped him soundlessly as your fingers attempted to wrap around his wrists and squeezed to give him a hint. “I don’t know about that, I mean-“
You felt your hear sink in disappointment, but you tried not to let it show, wondering how to try to convince him one more time. Sure, if it was a no-no, then you wouldn’t force him, he never forced you into anything either and this was about your mutual pleasure, but… now, having him partially at your mercy, the idea nudged insistently on your mind and the image of him with his hands tied above his head while you could do anything you pleased… you might have been soaking the shorts and the sheets at that.
“We don’t have to, Steve,” you assured him kindly, hundred percent honest despite planning on playing dirty. Your hands moved to his abdomen, caressing their way up his chest, accidently brushing over his left nipple, your lips moving to his ear. “But I’d be so good to you…”
“Babygirl,” he whispered, out of breath as your hand wandered down his happy trail, slipping just under the hem of his sweats, the fingers of your other hand moving to the neglected nipple, this time shamelessly toying with it.
“I’d be such a good girl for you, Professor Rogers,” you promised, keeping the smile off your voice when you heard him gulp, his cock visibly twitching. “I’d be really, really nice. Don’t you want that, Professor?”
“Y-yeah, yeah, okay-“
“Good choice,” you said approvingly, dropping a kiss to his cheek, making him groan and probably regret his decision already. You stood up, quickly looking for something you could use. “Just so you know, I think this is where the same rule applies,” you noted matter-of-factly. “You don’t like something I do, you want me to stop at any point, you tell me. I really want this to be good for you, Steve. So. What’s the word?”
From the front, you could see the blush that spread over his chest, causing you to bite your lip and nearly stumble over your feet. Good lord, Steve blindfolded, all flushed and waiting for you on the bed so you could do your worst--- now that was a sight to behold.
“Uhm… Waterloo?”
You bit your cheek so you wouldn’t laugh at his choice. It was cute and ridiculous... but also kinda hot, because well, Steve’s brains were just another turn-on for you. Of course he would choose something like that. Professor Steven Grant Rogers, history buff, certified hot nerd, the sweetest man to ever walk the Earth.
You pressed your lips together to prevent yourself from smiling too wide. You didn’t even know why. It wasn’t like he could see you.
“Okay. Waterloo it is,” you said, swiftly moving to the closet when another idea popped in your head.
Slipping into a new outfit before heading back, you were rather satisfied with yourself as you grabbed the two ties you found prior. Not that it would actually hold him – it was about the idea.
“You’re taking a bit long, babygirl…”
“And? You mind?” you teased him, stopping to stand in front of him. “Have some… pressing issues?”
“Keep it up, babygirl, see what happens once this is over,” he bit back, only making you chuckle at the perfect pass.
“I think there’s something else that’s up--- sorry, sorry,“ you mumbled when his hand landed blindly on your thigh.
His brows furrowed when he felt the difference.
“You changed.”
“Uh-huh.”
His hand trailed up curiously, right under your miniskirt and you let him… just until air got stuck in his throat upon finding you with nothing but the generous amount of slick covering your core.
“Fuck-“
“Nope,” you replied cheekily, even if the flicker of his finger caused you to shudder, his touch like liquid fire at this point.
Fuck, you wanted him. You wanted him right now and you wanted him to take you in every way he wanted… but the idea of him at your mercy was appealing enough for you to control yourself.
You grasped his wrist and shoved it away; he allowed it, but not without whining pitifully.
“Lie down, Steve, please. I promise I’ll make it worth your while.”
“You better,” he grunted, unwillingly moving up the bed, obediently spreading out on the sheets and letting you guide his arms up as you climbed over him and tied his wrists together.
“Not too tight?”
He shook his head, a smirk crossing over his lips. You rolled your eyes at the double meaning, but you guessed it served you right.
Oh, but would you wipe that smirk off…
Securing the knot, you shifted to be face to face with him, lips hovering just above his mouth, breathing the same air and hoping to begin the sweet torture.
You had to admire his patience; despite definitely noticing your positions, Steve didn’t move an inch. It was up to you then – and the premise sent another thrill through your veins. Oh, you’d break him in the most delicious ways.
As soon as you erased the distance, his lips sunk into yours hungrily, wet and soft in the contrast to his beard, the sensation you adored, having you squirming above him until you remembered again that you were the one in control.
You kissed him with vigour, licking into his mouth, one hand still where his were joined, the other pressing against his chest. Your tongue met his, revelling at his taste and at another of his tries to dominate the kiss, to set things as they usually were. But as much as you loved it when he took charge… not today.
Parting abruptly, his lips following on instinct, you couldn’t but grin to yourself. Kissed his fingertips, you lingered at the one still glistening with your juices. You took it to your mouth, swirling your tongue around it and sucking lightly, feeling Steve’s heart speed up under your palm like crazy.
When you lightly grazed the skin with your teeth, his groan and the way his hips thrusted upward was the best reward you could get.
Kissing a trail down his arm – because goddammit you loved his arms – you hummed to yourself contentedly whenever you could feel the slightest shift of his body under yours and greedy for more contact, you allowed yourself to put most of your weight fully on him.
The choked sound it elicited from him startled you at first – until you realized that with your skirt hiked up, you weren’t the only one enjoying the skin-on-skin contact, your slick coating Steve’s lower stomach just above his sweats. Hopefully it was giving him ideas – it was certainly was to you.
Rustle of fabric, ragged breaths, occasional smacking noise when you moved up or left a small hickey on his shoulder and above his collarbone. Your fingers toyed gently with his nipples as you kissed his sternum before replacing your hands with your mouth once more, sucking, drawing a quiet whimper from him.
Fuck couldn’t get enough of the noises he was making. The pretty breathless moans of your name, the curses slipping from his lips… it was like music, but on a desperately low volume.
“What is it you always tell me?” you teased, lamely covering for the fact that your own arousal was nearly uncontainable. Shit, you loved how sensitive his nipples were… how much more sensitive he must have been now, no visual, laser focused on every touch instead? You wanted more… so much more. “Don’t hold these pretty sounds from me?”
Steve gritted his teeth at the remark, but as soon as you positioned your heat directly over his hard length and rolled your hips, he sang for you beautifully.
“Shit, sweetheart-“
The rush of confidence, the feeling of power was almost overwhelming – the image of him, lips parted in mute pleasure, certainly was. You were a little too close to climbing your own peak a little too quickly to your liking.
Sitting up straight, you undulated your hips few times, hands tracing patterns over Steve’s rapidly rising chest and abs. Much to his obvious dislike, you all too soon slid lower, your mouth making its way down his abdomen and then you finally, finally rid him of his sweatpants and boxers in one go.
His cock sprang free, hard and red at the tip, leaking just enough to cause your mouth to water and your thighs to rub together to give yourself some of the friction you craved so much.
Hands planted on his hips, you kissed along his hip bones and the apex of his thighs, taking your sweet time exploring everything you could – except for where you suspected he wanted you the most. You had to grin for yourself when you cupped his balls, causing him to hiss in relief, the muscles of his abdomen and legs clenching beautifully.
“Talk to me, Steve,” you hummed as you replaced your hand with your tongue, licking a stripe towards his base.
“Christ- don’t stop--“
“Eloquent as always, Professor,” you retreated, causing him to let out a growly sound you never heard before and had your core tingle, cunt feeling awfully empty.
Christ was right, alright. Seeing his chest heaving, fingers twitching as if he wanted nothing but to tug at your hair to keep you there and stuff your mouth full of his cock---  if you didn’t get some soon, you might actually combust.
So you put your mouth back to work on his sack again, fingers barely curling around the base of his cock, giving a first experimental stroke before you squeezed a bit tighter – and then swiftly moved away, his hips following on instinct in, craving more.
“For fuck’s --- how did I ever think you were sweet and nice?” he complained huskily, impatience lacing his voice.
You chuckled, but heard him out, leaving his balls in order to give more attention to his impressive and possibly painfully hard length.
“Beats me,” you retorted, hands busy with gentle strokes to his shaft. “I mean, we literally got together thanks to you finding out I wrote about sucking and riding your dick right in your office, Professor Rogers.”
“You little-“
His protests died in his throat, features twisting in wordless pleasure when you finally wrapped your lips around the head of his cock, delivering a few kitten licks to the tip. His taste exploded on your tongue, eliciting a content hum which he certainly felt too, because a jerk of his hips pushed him deeper to your mouth.
Slowly swallowing as much as you could without having him hit the back of your throat, you curled your hand tighter around the base and started bobbing your head.  
A string of breathless profanities left his mouth whenever you squeezed, only getting filthier when you hollowed your cheeks. It was all encouragement you needed to take him deeper, giving him a taste of heaven as his tip brushed the back of your throat.
“Babygirl, fuck, fuck, yeah--- just like that…”
Your own arousal became unbearable, a surge of hot need squeezing your insides at Steve’s praise. Slipping a hand under your skirt, you sighed in relief when your fingers caressed your lower lips, hips bucking forward in desperate need of more.
Your predicament was impossible to solve – you wanted him inside you already, so badly, but fuck the picture Steve made, even if blurry as tears prickled your eyes whenever he hit the back of your throat, was just too divine.
Lips crimson with how he kept biting at them to keep at least a little quiet, hair sticking to his forehead, muscles drawn tight like strings as he kept clenching them both unwittingly and consciously in hope to get you where he wanted you and the fresh taste of him whenever you did something he particularly liked--- you simply had to feast your eyes on him. And he couldn’t do the same… or take charge for that matter.
So fucking pretty like this.
And you were the only one seeing him like that, tied up, helpless against the assault on his senses sans vision. He gave himself up to you like that, willingly. The thought warmed you up inside out, enough to drive you nearly as crazy as if you were in his place.
Wasting no time with preparation you didn’t need, you pushed two fingers into your core at once, whimpering around Steve’s cock when you did. Your whole body relaxed, the pent-up desire easing a little and yet burning hotter. You pumped your fingers slowly, the sensation so blissful you had to remind yourself to keep working on Steve too.
Still, your actions didn’t go unnoticed.
“Are you—are you touching yourself, babygirl?” he whispered, tongue peeking out to wet his lips.
It took you a second to swallow the baseless embarrassment and literally swallow, causing Steve to let out a moan so wrecked and pretty you felt your pussy clamp around your fingers.
Hoping your words would come out less shy than you felt when saying them, you released Steve’s length with a wet pop to tease him some more.
“Yeah, I am…. Why? You want a taste?” you asked sweetly, clearing your throat that suddenly felt so empty.
The guttural moan that erupted in Steve’s chest was music to your ears, his cock twitching and glistening with fresh beads of precum a sight to behold.
“Yeah, babygirl… give it to me,” he choked out and the genuine desire in his voice was like a punch to your solar plexus. Your walls clenched around your fingers, the familiar coil in your abdomen tightening.
Swallowing a pitiful sigh at the loss, you stretched over the warm length of Steve’s body, gulping when his own parted in invitation.
Jesus fucking Christ.
Reluctantly, you let the fingers sticky with your juices brush over Steve’s lips, gasping when his tongue instantly slid out to lick at the essence eagerly, his Adam’s apple bobbing.
“Fuck, always so sweet, babygirl…” he muttered, your breath stuck in your throat when his mouth blindly chased after your fingers before you could withdraw your hand.
“Oh my god-“ you choked out, mesmerized, your pussy clamping around nothing.
He sucked greedily, the image alone causing your hips to rut against his, your clit catching against his rock-hard shaft. Your eyes fluttered close in bliss, stars exploding behind your eyelids.
Unwittingly, you worked your hips faster, riding Steve’s thick cock even without having him inside. The friction, the soaked fabric of your skirt brushing against your clit, the sensation of Steve’s tongue lapping at your fingers as if he had his mouth on your pussy instead--- you felt the coil in your belly snap, the world turning white before you knew how.
You came with a broken cry, blissed out and shocked at the sudden release, but riding your pleasure out on instinct.
Grazing your fingers with his teeth as he let go, Steve spoke words so filthy our head spun.
“That’s it, babygirl. Fuck. Look how little my girl needed to come all over my cock. Using me so shamelessly.  You must have really wanted it, didn’t you…” he said, voice hoarse with a tint of smugness as you came back from your high, the dirty talk only already riling you up again.
You had no idea what just happened, but you had a feeling Steve immensely enjoyed it as he somehow got the upper hand on you despite being the one tied up.
For someone who was supposed to have all blood out of his brain and have it in his dick instead, he was way too smug… but you’d reverse it again. He had no idea what was about to hit him.
Stealing a kiss to taste ourself on his tongue, your fingers went to remove the blindfold.
Your professor was, in certain aspects, still just a simple guy – he liked a good visual. It was silly of you to rid him of it in the first place, no matter how much fun you had with it.
Steve blinked in surprise, squinting against the sudden light, while you slipped out of your bralette, leaving you in nothing but your very schoolgirl-like mini skirt. You smiled at him sweetly, kissing his mouth once more, thumb softly brushing his lips as you towered over him, nearly giving him a view of what was under the fabric.
“I always want you,” you whispered with a smile, your hand cupping your breast, gently tweaking your nipple, his gaze following the movement as his fingers twitched. You bit the inside of your cheek, hand slowly trailing down. “Want you to touch me, everywhere. Always so wet and ready for you…”
Dark eyes watched you as you slipped your fingers under the waist of the skirt, a tiny mewl escaping you when the pad of your fingers bumped into your clit.
You would have felt stupid trying to give him a show after you came after almost nothing, but the warning growl of your name once again assured you that unsexy was the last thing that came to Steve’s mind when looking at you. It warmed both your belly and your heart. You almost felt regretful for a moment that you were still keeping him hanging, neglecting his no doubt aching cock, but he thought he had the upper hand here.
He was wrong.
“Always thinking of you… even when I’m alone, always thinking about your fingers, stretching me so good, about you fucking me, so hard till I’m screaming your name,” you continued in hushed voice, revelling at how tight his jaw set, eyes narrowed, breathing once again picking up.
“Babygirl—”
“Oops, sorry,” you chipped, pecking his lips as you withdrew your hand, quickly drawing a trail of kisses down his chest and abdomen, unable to resist a lick here and there where the line of his muscles looked particularly tasty. “Just thought you’d like to see my mouth on you. You like to watch, Professor Rogers, no?”
He never got a chance to answer as you guided him to your mouth again, holding his gaze as he indeed watched, eyebrows furrowing, each breath hitching, soon chanting your name. You caressed his balls as well, tongue tracing the vein on the underside of his length, your other hand firmly around his base.
You were the first to avert his gaze as your eyes fluttered close so you could fully focus on your task, relaxing your throat.
“Babygirl--- fuck me-- I’m gonna-“
You eased up a bit, earning a frustrated growl, the corners of your lips rising a bit as you imagined the ugly glare he must have shot you.
Thinking about it, closing your eyes was a mistake.
You never saw it coming as a hand suddenly sunk into your hair, yanking you up face to face with him, alarmed eyes staring into black ones as his pupils nearly swallowed all the blue or his irises.
He had slipped out of the poorly tied bonds, clearly fed up with your shenanigans.
Ah-oh, sounded in the back of your mind.
Another part of you didn’t fail to notice that despite the swift movement and calling an end to your games, Steve’s fingers were careful not to pull too harshly, making sure he was cradling your head safely. Same when he rolled you over, trapping you under the hard lines of muscle you had been tasting a moment ago, protective cage of his arms around your head.
If you weren’t so startled, you would have swooned.
You never got the chance, because any possible sound was muffled by his mouth crashing into yours, hand slipping from your nape to your throat to keep you in place with a wordless warning, hips pressed to yours just in case you would want to escape.
You would never. Even if you had a hunch Steve was about to ruin you in a way that would have you feel it for days.
Having enough of your mouth for the moment, giving you a chance to gasp for air, he stared at you smugly, one corner of his perfectly red lips raised in a smirk.
“Wicked little thing, aren’t you?” he grunted, thumb caressing the hollow of your throat softly, causing you to gulp.
You summoned your best innocent look, doe-like eyes that usually worked. “S-sorry?”
A flicker of a smile as he forced his knee between your thighs, instantly pressing against your still sensitive core.
“I don’t think you are, babygirl,” he huffed, nosing the crook of your neck, biting down sharper than you expected, a yelp erupting from your throat. He soothed in with the pad of his thumb, smiling wide, something soft in his eyes when he looked at you again. You were so fucking baffled at what that meant. ”That perfect filthy mind of yours… and you still get a bit shy, huh?”
“W-what?”
“You know what I think, babygirl?” he whispered intimately, teeth grazing the shell of your ear. “I think that you left the document opened on purpose.”
Your rapidly beating heart stopped in your chest, wind knocked out of you completely.
Fuck.
You were so busted.
Steve had read you like a book wide open--- because of course he did.
Yes, there had been a great part of you who wished for him to see it, hoping in this exact outcome; there had been an equally great part dreading what he would think about you. Writing the story down, you were thinking a bit more with your pussy than your brain though, so you decided to leave it for Steve to read. If he went for it, maybe you’d get something from it. If he didn’t, you’d move on. No harm no fool, right?
Right. No.
Now he did know and saw right through your little trick. And damn, did he look proud of himself for figuring it out. You were in so much trouble.
Somehow, you were as horrified as excited.
Steve chuckled as you swallowed against your suddenly dry throat, eyes no doubt wide as saucers.
“Oh, you did. Too shy to ask for it, leaving that to me instead. My sneaky, needy girl,” he muttered, fondness and humour with a dark lilt in his voice.
“I—I didn’t know how-“ you stuttered, feeling your face burning in embarrassment at his tone, just a smidge patronizing.
You averted his gaze, a vain attempt really, knowing he wouldn’t let you. Slipping two fingers under your chin, he guided you to face him again.
“Didn’t know how… hmm… so you thought you’d play me? That’s really naughty, sweetheart.”
“I’m sorry… Professor Rogers,” you added quickly in hopes to mollify him, indeed earning a sweet kiss.
“Oh, it’s okay, babygirl. You know why?” he tested you and you could only shake your head lightly, guessing at best what kind of revenge awaited you. “Because you’re my good girl and you’ll let me settle the score. I’ll play with you now. It’s only fair, no?”
Oh fuck, here it came.
For a brief second, his lust-filled eyes appeared startingly clear and sober, boring into yours with a serious question.
It’s only fair, no? he had said.
It’s alright with you if the roles reverse, right? was what he was truly asking, checking, always checking if you were okay, just like you had been checking with him.
Because sex was fun, but only if all parties were on board.
Because Steve was sweet, considerate, soft and loving and he was everything you ever looked for in a man and more. You trusted him. You always did and you trusted him now – he would make you feel so so good. It was never really a question.
“Y—yes, it is.”
“Good girl,” he praised you, causing your core to weep. And he knew it, oh did he know and shamelessly used it against you... a little payback to all the professor you’d been throwing around. “Close your eyes.”
And you did. The blindfold came first, then hands, his fingers skimming over your forearms teasingly, feather-light touch on your sensitive skin, before he finally brought them up and tied them together.
“You ready, sweetheart?”
No, you were absolutely not ready, but your body was buzzing with desire again at that point, so you breathed a soft yes. And maybe, just maybe… no matter how you had enjoyed driving him crazy, cheeky and full of feeling of power, this felt like home. Because you trusted him – and so you gave yourself to him wholly.
He hummed in contentment as you confirmed, causing you shiver as he nosed the skin under your ear. “Good. Because I’m going to wreck you for that little stunt of yours.”
His words tickled the sensitive skin and shit, okay, your nerve endings were tingling, the sensation amplified tenfold with your eyes covered. Steve really was going to wreck you.
Mouth moving to your breast, he took the nipple in his mouth, shifting so the head of his cock nudged at your weeping opening, pushing just a bit with a promise of a delicious stretch, almost, almost there.
“Please,” was all you managed to breathe out, growing impatient, hissing when gave a playful bite to the underside of your breast, sending a surge of arousal through your veins. You back arched, a mewl escaping your when Steve moved his hips away completely, denying you.
“And you’re gonna take it, aren’t you?” he muttered to your skin, lips trailing lower and lower, warm and soft, beard leaving behind a delicious burn.
“Y- yes.”
“Good girl. And what else are you going to do? Tell me,” he encouraged you, large palms pushing your thighs apart so he could fit the insanely broad shoulders between them.
Mind foggy with need, senses overwhelmed, you still had enough wits to understand what he wanted to hear.
“Thank you,” you breathed out.
“Damn straight.” His words were a damp hot blow of air against your mound, causing your hips to jolt as if your body was begging to be taken apart by him already – blissfully aware of how he would put it back together again.
And with an inevitable scratch to your lower lips and a kitten lick to your swollen bud for starters, Steve did.
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Attached masterlist
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I sincerely apologize for twisting the prompt and not even being able to write a soft enough fic the one time I’m supposed to.
But I hope you enjoyed anyway.  I mean, if you made it to the end…
Thank you for reading :-*
Your Anika I’m-Not-a-Smut-Writer Ann
P.S. Fic loosely relates to one of the reblogs of this series: “You know one good thing about being an erotic writer is - you don’t have to talk about your embarrassing kinks. You want to tie your boyfriend up? You just email him a story about it 'subtly’ hinting at it.” Close enough?
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