#''GOD i cannot fucking wait to go be alone in my nice empty apartment again''

[mummybear]

This Thing Between US

Words: 4479

Warnings: Swearing, Dirty Talk, Smut, Wall/Door Sex, Protective Jensen, Oral (Male Receiving), Fluff. Think that’s it :) 

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader

Summary: After getting a much needed night off from work and finally getting a date your best friend doesn’t agree with you about going, is Jensen right? Is the date doomed or are you about to spend the night with Mr Right?

A/N: This is my submission to @stiles-o-dylan24‘s challenge for passing 1K followers! My Prompt Was - If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were trying to seduce me. A massive congratulations Ellie!! So beyond pleased for you babe, glad that we’ve been friends for as long as we have. You’re the sweetest person ever and you deserve every single follower and so many more! Big hugs babe, hope you enjoy this! :) 

A big thank you to the lovely @ne-gans for reading it over for me too 😘💖

This is also another submission to my @spndeanbingo, for the square (Best Friends)

(This is an AU where Jensen isn’t married and never was. This is a work of fanfiction and should be treated as such, thank you :) )

Ko-Fi HERE :)

You were so excited, you’d finally managed to get some time off work to have a much needed date night. The trouble was that you were nervous as hell, the date you were going on was with a guy you’d met online last week. Despite your best friend and roommate doing his best to put you off of the idea, you were determined to go ahead with your plans. You’d spent the entire day at work distracted thinking about it. 

Jensen’s opinion was always extremely important to you, him not agreeing with your decision must've been playing on your mind more than you’d first realised. As much as you trusted and respected Jensen’s opinion; and you did. You just couldn’t cancel these plans, you’d had them for weeks and you had been really looking forward to them. Plus that would hardly be fair on the guy you were meeting, Tim had seemed like a nice enough guy from what you could gather during your chats.

Your bath is finally how you like it, the steam filling the cool room and you quickly pull off your clothes and toss them into the hamper, before climbing into the tub, groaning in pleasure when your aching body makes contact with the water, it’s like your muscles instantly relax. 

You take your time in the bath, enjoying a little time to yourself to relax. By the time you’re almost finished in the bath, the bathroom door suddenly opens and the intrusion makes you jump. Your hand resting over your heart when Jensen steps into the steam filled room, you allow yourself to relax slightly. Seemingly in his own world, until he stops mid step and locks eyes with you. He immediately covers his eyes with his hand, “s-shit Y/N, I’m sorry!” he half stutters and you can see the blush creeping across his skin. 

“My fault, I should've locked the door.” You reply as you climb out of the bath and wrap your towel around yourself. 

“You can look now,” you giggle a little nervously, noticing the way he’d stiffened when you climbed out. You can’t understand this, he’s never been this nervous around you before.

He hesitantly uncovers his eyes and you give him a small smile when he finally looks at you. The steam in the room suddenly feels like it’s surrounding you, like the air is stuck in your throat. 

“I should… uh. I should go get ready,” you manage to croak out around the lump in your throat.

You don’t give him time to answer, gripping your towel tightly, you practically run from the bathroom to your bedroom, where you slam the door closed and fall back against it, your heart beating wildly in your chest. 

“What the hell was that!?” You demand of yourself out loud. 

Nothing had ever happened between you and Jensen and you’d never intended anything to happen. He was by far one of the hottest men you’d ever known, sure there had been the odd sex dreams you’d had about him. But you didn’t understand what was happening now, he was your best friend and that had been all you’d ever seen him as. Maybe it was just the heat in the bathroom and the hot bath messing with you. That had to be the reason, right?

You decided not to think about it, you didn’t want some kind of fluke or whatever it had been to ruin your night. Taking a deep breath you turn your attention to your outfit hanging on your door, it was a simple black dress with cuffed sleeves and a split up the side, which reached your mid thigh. Your underwear was a sexy black lace set, with white woven in between parts of the fabric, you’d purchased it especially for tonight. 

You did your makeup, wearing a little more than usual and paired it with your red lipstick. You didn’t do too much with your hair, deciding to leave the natural wave you already had. Now that you’re dressed and ready to go, you feel a little more confident, stepping into your heeled shoes. You smile at your reflection as you check yourself over in the mirror. 

When you walk out into the living room, you find Jensen sitting on the couch, clearly he’d had a shower right after you’d left. His hair is still wet and all over the place and he’s shirtless, only his light grey sweatpants cling low on his lean hips. You tried not to notice the few drops of water that rolled down his thick neck. Clearing your throat, you lick your extremely dry lips and focus on his face, where he quickly closes his mouth, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows hard.

“You look… just wow, fuck Y/N.” Jensen rasps, standing in front of you.

You feel yourself blushing and meet his eyes once more, and you can’t help but wonder were they always that green? “Yeah? Thanks Jay. I’m really nervous,” 

“He’s the one who should be nervous, sweetheart, trust me. You don’t have a fuckin’ thing to worry about. You call me if he fucks with you and I’ll kick his ass.” He winks at you and you watch as he chews on his bottom lip and his eyes drop, shamelessly checking you out, before he seems to remember himself and his eyes snap back to your face. 

“So uh, have a good night. Call me if you need a lift home or whatever.” He dismisses, but there’s something about the way he’d said that, that just doesn’t sit right with you.

You decide it’s best not to mention it though, “yeah sure, thanks.” You reply, voice a little clipped and you quickly leave your apartment without looking back.

What the hell is going on between the two of you today? This morning was like any other morning now suddenly, there’s like this weird thing between you and you just can’t explain it.

-

You send a text to Tim and tell him that you’ve just arrived at the restaurant, climbing out of the taxi, you pay the driver, before heading inside and taking a seat at the bar. This place is seriously expensive, so you just order a drink while you wait. You check your phone and still no reply from Tim. 

By the time you check your phone again, your second drink is gone and you’re beginning to feel the effects of the alcohol. When you turn back to the bar you find someone is sitting beside you.

“It looks like you’ve been stood up, baby girl.” A deep voice states, clearly he’d been watching you, which is seriously creepy, honestly it takes everything you have not to roll your eyes and you just sigh loudly. 

Turning to look at the stranger, slicked back black hair and brown eyes, moderately good looking but he also looks like a total sleazebag. 

“Not that it’s anything to do with you, but no I haven’t, I’m actually waiting for my boyfriend to finish work.” You snap back defensively, thanking the bartender when he places another drink in front of you.

“You sure about that? You’ve been lookin’ at your phone awfully regular.” He chuckles as you do it again, this time you go through your contacts, in search of the only man who would make you feel safe in this situation.

Before you can press the call button the sleazebags hand lands on your thigh, the feel of his skin against yours makes you feel sick.

“You better move your hand before I shove it up your ass,” you all but growl, slamming your empty glass back on the counter and attracting the bartender's attention.

The guy is undeterred as he leans in closer, the smell of him makes your stomach roll with nausea.

“Come on baby, I can show you a real good time. Fortunately for you, I like ‘em feisty.” He whispers and his cracked lips ghost your ear and you quickly pull away. Before you can tell him to go fuck himself, the bartender is back with another drink for you and the sleaze excuses himself.

“Be right back darlin’ don’t you go anywhere.” 

The second his ass leaves the stool you dial the number, your feet bouncing on the wooden slat beneath your seat.

“Hello sweetheart? You miss me already?” Jensen slurs into the phone and you want to headbutt the bartop. He cannot be drunk right now!

“Look, the guy didn’t show Jay. But I’m getting really freaked out by this creep, he won’t take no for an answer.” You reply quickly, worried about getting a taxi alone in case he tries to follow you.

“Stay right there. I’ll be five minutes.” He responds quickly, all humour gone from his voice. 

Before you can mention the fact that he’s drunk, the line goes dead. You really hope he doesn’t do anything stupid, but at the same time you’re just glad he’s coming. You don’t have time to think about it too much, before you spot Mr creep returning. 

You quickly finish the drink you have left on the bar, feeling that familiar burn in your chest. 

“Did you miss me?”

God that had sounded so much better when Jensen had asked. 

“Yeah, like a fucking hole in the head. Could you leave me alone now. My boyfriend is on his way, he’s the jealous protective type.” You lie easily, although that’s not a complete lie. Jensen is fiercely protective of you, but that was just how he was with his friends, it was one of the many qualities you loved about him. 

“Why don’t I keep you company until he gets here,” the guy smirks, leaning across the bar on his elbow so his face is inches from your own, clearly he still doesn’t believe you.

When you jump back a little too fast, your stool rocks and you almost fall off, but a strong body behind you stops you. You recognise the way he smells immediately and let out a sigh of relief when those strong arms wrap around your body.

“Hey baby, sorry I’m late. I know I said I'd be here sooner.” His lips press against the side of your neck and you feel an unexpected shiver shoot up your spine. 

Your hands drop to Jensen’s and you lean back into his embrace.

“Don’t worry babe, I’m just glad you’re here now.” You tell him honestly, turning back to the douche across from you, who still hadn’t moved.

“Was this dick bothering you?” Jensen growls against your skin and this time you’re sure that you visibly shiver, biting your lip to stop the noise bubbling in your throat, your hands tighten over his. 

The guy looks between you and Jensen and swallows hard.

“Sorry man, guess I misread something. I didn’t realise she was spoken for.” The guy spits out, quickly finishing his drink and you scoff.

“Well that’s bullshit. You should probably leave now.” Jensen suggests, his voice taking on a dangerous edge that you’d never heard before and it affects you more than you might have previously admitted. 

He takes the seat beside you and wraps his arms around your waist, fingers just slightly digging into your stomach. The sleazebag can’t get off of the stool quick enough, and you can’t help but laugh watching him stumble out of the door.

“You are seriously the best friend in the world.” You tell him relieved, turning to him and wrapping your arms around his neck. 

“Thank you Jay, I dunno what I would’ve done without you tonight,” 

When you pull back you press a chaste kiss to his cheek, watching the blush appear almost immediately.

“S’fine Y/N, anytime.” He mutters quietly, scratching at the back of his neck and smiling awkwardly. “Are you hungry? I’m guessing you didn’t have time to eat?” 

You look at him and shrug, a slight smile pulling at your lips.

“Honestly? I kinda just wanna get drunk with my best friend, not really that hungry anymore.” 

-

An hour later you and Jensen are in a shadowed corner booth, the bottle of liquor that sits between you is almost empty. You lean in closer to him, brushing away some fluff from his shirt. “So, did you dress up just for me?” you ask with a grin.

Jensen took a deep breath and met your eyes, your heart suddenly felt like it was trapped in your throat.

“So what if I had, is that a problem?” he questioned gruffly, resting his hand on your thigh, through the split in your dress. 

You suck in a breath at the contact, but the alcohol gives you the boost you need to push away your nerves. Thinking back to how he'd been acting all day, you wonder, what’s the worst that could happen if you gave into what you were feeling?

“If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were trying to seduce me, Mr Ackles.” You practically purr, scooting impossibly close, so that you were pressed up against each other.

“Is it working?” Jensen asks with a smirk, fingers curling around the top of your thigh and digging into your skin. You have to bite into your lip to stop yourself from making a noise, very cautious of the people sitting less than a foot behind the two of you. 

“What if it is? What’re you gonna do about it?” Your reply is more breathy than you would’ve liked but you go with it, your hand dropping to his on your thigh and squeezing. 

Clearly the alcohol was giving him a confidence boost, when he leans in close and presses those plump lips to your ear, you’re completely overwhelmed by him. 

“You wanna go home and I can show you, baby girl?” He asks huskily, this time you can’t hold back the whimper when his hand moves further up your thigh.

Taking a breath, you swallow hard, feeling his lips press against the side of your neck, just below your ear.

“This is a bad idea, isn’t it?” You ask, feeling a little lightheaded with him being so close and his lips pause on your skin.  

Jensen pulls back so he’s looking at you in the eyes. 

“I don’t think so, don’t tell me you’ve never thought about it? I know I have.” 

“I guess maybe, I’ve dreamt about certain things happening. But I’ve tried not to let myself consider it, you’re my best friend Jay, I don’t wanna lose you.” You tell him honestly, blushing as you look down at your knees.

“Hey, don’t do that,” Jensen all but whispers, cupping your cheek in his big hand. He always made you feel so small in the best way. He tilts your face until you’re looking in his eyes again,  “Trust me, I have no intention of going anywhere. No matter what happens tonight. You wanna just go home and forget about this then it’s up to you, Y/N. No pressure.” There’s a pause as he leans in a little closer, chewing on his bottom lip for a moment.

“But if you want me to take you home and show you what you do to me, how fucking hard you make me-” You cut him off with those words, resting your hand over the obvious and large bulge in his jeans. 

You swallow thickly at the implication as his thumb brushes over your bottom lip, he’s so close and you’re out of reasons as to why this is a bad idea.

“Show me Jay,” you whisper against his lips.

His hold on your cheek is a little firmer as he presses his plump lips to yours, it’s like all of the air has been ripped from your lungs as your lips move against his effortlessly. The hand holding your cheek slips around to the back of your head and he grips your hair gently and tugs, deepening the kiss. You push your hands into his hair in an attempt to pull him closer, messing it up the way you like it. His tongue slips between your lips followed by a deep groan, the kiss quickly becomes a mess of tongues and teeth, until you’re forced to pull back for air.

Nervous excitement is bubbling under your skin as you wipe your red lipstick from his kiss-swollen lips with your thumb. You pull your dress over Jensen’s hand to hide it, which only gives him more confidence to move it higher, so his thumb is practically brushing over your damp panties.

You’re interrupted when a waiter turns up at your table and clears his throat, “Excuse me sir, sorry to interrupt but your transportation has arrived.” 

“Thank you, this should cover our tab.” Jensen smiles, handing over some cash. The waiter nods and gives his thanks. 

“Oh sir, I like it, it suits you.” You giggle as you both get out of the booth, Jensen scoffs but he’s smiling as he wraps his arm around your waist and you head out to the front of the Restaurant. 

You climb into the back of the taxi, while Jensen gives the guy your address before joining you in the back.

“How’re you doin’?” Jensen asks as the car starts moving, pulling one of your legs over his knee.

You scootch down the seat a little to give him more room to move his hand, “I’m good. Thank you for tonight, I had a great time.” 

Jensen bites his lip as his hand moves between your legs and pushes your dress higher, until he can reach the apex of your thighs, rubbing back and forth over the front of your increasingly wet panties. 

“It’s not over yet,” he smirks, his breath ghosting over your lips. You whimper as he pushes your panties to the side and his fingers slide teasingly through your slick.

“Fuck you’re so wet baby girl.” Jensen groans deeply, resting his forehead against yours as he eases two thick fingers inside you. 

You clench your teeth to stop from moaning, luckily the driver has the music on, so at least your heavy breathing is covered. You’re both lost in your own world as you look into his eyes, feeling yourself clenching around his fingers. There’s a knock on the partition and Jensen gives you a wink before pulling his hand free, “oh come on. You’ve got to be kidding me.” You grumble, voice thick with irritation, as he sucks those fingers between his lips and moans around them. You don’t know whether you want to kick him or kiss him.

Despite your protest Jensen pays the taxi and follows behind you once it’s driven away. When you finally manage to get the keys out of your bag, Jensen presses up behind you, moving your hair over one shoulder. You shiver as his lips move slowly over your neck, he takes the keys from you as your head falls back against his chest and he makes quick work of unlocking the door. 

The two of you stumble inside, giggling like a pair of teenagers, you barely have time to think before Jensen is backing you up against the same door you’d just closed.

“You sure you still wanna do this?” he questions as his fingers ghost over the zipper of your dress.

“Of course I am, I wanna know what your filthy brain has been coming up with.” You smirk confidently, the alcohol giving you the help you need. You grip both sides of his shirt and tug hard, sending buttons flying across the room. You can already see the way his eyes have darkened as he looks down at you.

“So, your bedroom or mine, sir?” 

Jensen starts pulling the zip down slowly, keeping his darkened green eyes focused on you, the anticipation of what’s to come has your heart thudding wildly in your chest. He’s being so gentle and slow, you’re waiting for what you know is to come, you’ve heard the way he’s made girls scream over the years and the thought has your stomach in knots.  

You swallow hard as he pulls his ruined shirt from his body and unbuckles his belt, tugging off his jeans and boxers, kicking them to one side. You can’t take your eyes off of him, unable to stop yourself from shamelessly checking him out, he’s fucking flawless, just as you’d expected. He looks just like you thought he would, but his cock is so much bigger than you would have dreamed. His voice soon pulls you from your ogling. 

“Why bother going upstairs? I could just fuck you right here, against this door.” Jensen muses with that deadly smirk as he lets the dress slip from your body and pool at your feet, his voice has taken that tone again which makes your entire body feel like it’s on fire.

You smile back, pushing your panties down and stepping out of them and your dress, you wrap your arms around his neck.

“Guess you’d better show me what you wanna do to me, huh Sir?” 

“You’re really enjoying calling me that, ain’t you sweetheart?” Jensen smirks, reaching down to pick you up. You giggle as you wrap your legs around his waist, feeling his hardness crushed between the two of you. Jensen lifts you just enough so that the head of his cock is pressing against your entrance, “this what you want baby?” he teases, letting the thick head of his cock push inside you. 

Your fingers push into his hair and you grip tightly, leaning your forehead against his. 

“Please Jay, Please. Fuck me.” You beg breathlessly against his parted lips. He doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t need to because as soon as the words pass your lips he sinks into you with one thrust. 

“Oh God, Jensen, fuck.” You gasp out, dropping your head back against the door as your hands grip his shoulders tightly, nails digging into his soft skin. 

Jensen stills inside you with a groan, fingers digging into your ass cheeks. You keep your eyes on his as you roll your hips against him. He’s so much thicker than you’d realised, stretching you out so much, it almost feels like he could break you at any moment if he wanted to. Your pussy hasn’t stopped clenching and fluttering around him. You can feel his cock already hitting spots nobody had ever managed to reach before. 

“So fuckin’ tight and wet for me baby girl. You want me to move? Make you come all over my cock?” 

His voice is deeper than you’ve ever heard it, “yes, move please. I need you so bad, wanna feel you.” You whine loudly, fully aware of just how desperate you sound, but you’ve never cared less about anything.

Jensen pulls out almost all the way, then that fucker smirks, before he snaps his hips forward, pulling a scream from your throat that makes him growl.

“Fuck. That’s my girl.” Jensen grunts before repeating his actions, your head makes a dull thud as it falls back against the door. The grooves of the door digging into your back as he picks up a hard and fast pace that has you speechless.

“Wanted to fuck you so bad in that bar, you felt so fucking soft, looked so sexy in that tight little dress.” 

“I wish you had,” you moan loudly, feeling his cock pulse inside you and your walls flutter around him. You’re so close to falling over that edge.

“Who knew you were such a dirty little girl, we’re gonna have so much fun together.” He half laughs, half groans into your neck.  

“Fuck Jay, I’m gonna come.” You whimper loudly, feeling your entire body beginning to stiffen around him.

Jensen grabs your leg and hooks it in the crook of his elbow, you cry out at the new angle, the tip of his cock is repeatedly slamming into your sweet spot. Your nails are digging into his shoulders as your eyes start to roll back.

“So fuckin’ sexy baby girl. Come on, you can do it. Want you to paint my fuckin’ cock white.”

That’s all you need to push you over the edge, your orgasm smashes into you hard, leaving you extremely glad that Jensen is holding you up against the door.

You can feel Jensen’s jaw repeatedly tensing against your shoulder as he swears under his breath. You feel his hips start to stutter and purposefully clench around him, pulling those perfect noises from his lips.

You press your lips against his ear and groan when his fingers dig tighter into your ass cheeks.

“Want you to come in my mouth, wanna lick you clean.” You all but purr, clinging to his biceps as he pauses and pulls back to meet your gaze.

“Fuck, Y/N. I’m close, you want it baby?” 

You feel your pussy clench around him at the mere idea of it and nod enthusiastically with your bottom lip between your teeth.

Jensen gently pulls his cock free of your pussy and lowers you onto your shaking legs. You smirk up at him as you drop to your knees at his feet. You lick your lips as he fists his cock and starts to pump it in his fist, he holds himself up against the door with his free hand. His eyes are focused on your face as your lips part and you lick them hungrily, leaning up a little higher you wrap your lips around the tip of his perfect cock, tongue flicking back and forth over the slit.

“Shit sweetheart, just like that.” He groans loudly, gently thrusting his hips deeper into your mouth, you moan around him tasting yourself on his cock is better than you could’ve imagined. His hand falls away and moves to grip the back of your head as you take every inch you can manage.

“That’s it baby girl, fuck Y/N. I’m gonna-” He’s cut off when a deep groan fills the room and his come shoots into the back of your throat.

You do your best to swallow every precious bit of it, licking along his shaft until you’re happy you got all of it. He practically drags you to your feet when you pull away and roughly presses his lips against yours.

You squeal as he suddenly throws you over his shoulder and smacks your ass.

“Jay! What the hell?!” You question still half laughing.

You can almost hear the grin in his voice as he makes his way towards the stairs, “I ain’t done with you yet baby girl, not after that! I didn’t even get to return the favour yet.”

You watch his tight ass move as he walks up the stairs with you in tow, realising you wouldn’t want to get out of this even if you could.

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[whumpingcrow]

Pt.20 "Into the Frying Pan"

CW: airplane setting, hospital setting, police mention, drugs/alcohol/cigarettes, nightmare/ptsd mention, tics/tourettes, injury description, discussion of noncon/dubcon, nsfw themes, conditioned whumpee trying to initiate sex with caretaker, dehumanizing language/discussion, discussion of past abuse, food mention, discussion of wearing a collar, derogatory language, strangling mention (let me know if I missed anything!)

It was all at once insanely overwhelming and yet incredibly simple for Elias to be away from August, to be on his own. He was allowed to just sit peacefully on his own, no one's hands were on him, there was no tight collar to make him feel suffocated. The flight attendants would occasionally sit with him and ask him how he was doing, if he needed anything, and he was thankful to be otherwise left alone. The lack of constant stress allowed him to lull himself off into a fitful, drunken sleep, where the dreams were horrendous but not stronger than his fatigue. At some point, one of the nice flight attendants keeping an eye on him draped her jacket over him, smiling at him when he woke up to look at her.

"You looked cold," she excused herself. "We'll be landing in about an hour and a half."

"Thank you so much." He grumbled back, tightening the jacket around him to get warmer, then he promptly fell back asleep.

The hospital visit was long and tedious, and by the end apparently also pointless, because they simply couldn't do anything for him. His injuries were plenty, and they had all been severe in the beginning, but by now they were all healed just enough for the doctors to slap some antibiotics and pain relievers on him and call it a day. The meds they gave him seemed diluted by the leftover drugs in his blood, so even that didn't matter.

He wasn't allowed to go straight home after that, like he'd been hoping, instead he was taken to the police station to talk about August. By then he wanted nothing more than to just be back with No Name, and the longer he wasn't the worse he felt.

"Is there anything we can get you while we wait?" People kept asking him, ever since he'd gotten on the plane. It was incredibly unnerving, didn't they know he was just an idiot pet, that he didn't get wants? He guessed maybe not having a collar on wasn't helping his case.

Right now the person asking him was a large police officer, waiting with him outside. Elias felt his stare fixated on him, probably on the tears stained on his face, or the tired, far off look in his eyes.

"Would you be able to get me a cigarette? Please?" The request came out slightly mangled and watery, he was surprised to hear himself asking for it. He was never allowed to ask for anything, he half expected to be slapped across the head for it. Instead, the officer reached out at a safe distance with one in hand. "Oh. Th...thank you so much."

As he lit up, the chill breeze ran through his hair, making him feel gradually more sober. He looked up at the palm trees swaying slightly, the realization that he was home really started to sink in. It was all gonna be ok because he was home. After talking about August and all of the atrocities he'd put him through with the police for a few hours, he felt like he had relived it all. And now it could be done, he just had to wait for No Name.

"Is that him there?" The officer piped up suddenly, making Elias flinch. He looked up to see him approaching, his shoulders high with tension.

Elias dropped his cigarette to the ground with a gasp, his hands flying to cover his eyes in pure shock. He was there! He came! Elias could've fallen over in ecstasy.

"Elias, my darling," he was saying as he got closer, his voice on the very edge of breaking, "Elias I'm here. I'm here."

One inch at a time, Elias dropped his fingers, peering up at him with tears in his eyes. How could he possibly have any more tears left? Now that he was looking at him, he was overwhelmed with relief, absolutely flooded with the promise of safety. No Name's hair was so much longer than Elias remembered, put up in messy dreads, and his face was glowing healthily. Was there...genuine, actual love in his eyes? Elias hadn't seen that in August's face for so long, his stare was often only predatory and arrogant, despite how often he threw around the word, he didn't ever look like he felt love for Elias. He couldn't fight the tears anymore, he dropped his hands to the side in complete surrender and choked back a few pathetic whines.

"Hey, hey, it's ok," he assured him, timidly stepping toward him, "you're alright."

"I c-cant...I'm so happy t-to see you." He sobbed, biting his lip to try not to get too loud. "I'm s-so relieved."

With a small, pleased hum, he grabbed Elias's arm gently, testing how much touch he would allow. "Come here, Eli."

The nickname sounded heavenly back in his mouth, and hearing the way his voice glazed over it with no remorse or second guess made Elias positively break, stumbling the step forward into his welcoming arms.

Cologne and lemons and weed. That's what he smelled like. That's what Tyson smelled like. "Oh god. Tyson. Fucking hell, Tyson."

"I've got you Elias," Tyson whispered, voice watery with his own tears, "I'm here, darling."

Elias couldn't contain himself after that, he was ticcing melodically in Tyson's arms, his name slipping out every few seconds, his hands tightening and loosening around his shirt. "You're here, Tyson. I'm so...oh Tyson..."

Slowly, Tyson led him to his car, without fully letting go of him. Only when he opened the door for him did he pull away, watching him duck in with red, swollen eyes.

"You look so different," Elias mumbled, picking at a loose thread on his borrowed pants, "I feel like it's been years."

Tyson sighed heavily, reaching over to take his hand. "Nearly 10 months."

Elias closed his eyes, a breathless whine squeezing past his lips. Ten months?! He couldn't believe that it had really been that long since they'd seen each other, and yet at the same time it felt more like years. It made him feel sick, thinking about it in that way. Ten whole months of torture, of wondering when August would snap again, terrified he would get killed if he said something deemed unpleasant. "That's...that's a really long time."

Tyson gave a somber nod, then glanced over and saw how sad it had also made Elias, and he squeezed his leg softly and forced the subject to change. "God, I've missed your voice so very badly. I'm so happy to hear you talking."

Elias couldn't take his eyes off of Tyson, and he found himself desperately holding his wrist with both hands to make sure he didn't pull away. "I forgot your name." He blurted. "I'm so sorry."

"My name?" Tyson chuckled, throwing him a questioning glance.

"When I was out there I...all I could remember was your voice and your face. I-I forgot your n-name and I feel like shit a-about it. I'm so - fucking shit - I'm so sorry."

Tyson's jaw flexed a few times, and Elias thought maybe he'd pissed him off. You're off with August for not even a year and you forget about me? You stupid slut, I can't believe I ever thought I could love you-

"Elias, you've been stuck in an absolute nightmare for the longest time. I cannot even begin to imagine..." He trailed off, shaking his head to himself. "Things are gonna be ok. You're here and you remember my name now. That's all that matters."

A shuddery breath shook Elias's frame as he tried to calm himself, and he slowly reached up to loop his fingers around his throat. When his fingers fell onto bare skin, a jolt of panic shocked through him. He didn't realize how used to the collar he'd gotten, but now that it was gone he felt stripped, naked in the worst way. He kept his hand there, cold fingers pressed to his own pulse, the entire ride back to the apartment.

It looked about the same as he remembered, which didn't mean much because every memory was sort of hazy and muddled through the drugs and injury caused brain damage. He stood in the center of the living room while Tyson set his things down in the kitchen.

"Can I get you anything Elias?" Tyson asked when he came back in. He had a glass of water in his hands, and Elias cringed hard as he took it from him.

"People keep asking me that," he mumbled, "I'm not...not allowed..."

Tyson frowned at him, tilting his head to the side. He gave Elias a second to answer on his own, but he'd already decided to stop talking. "Not allowed what, Eli?"

"Not allowed to want things. I wish people would stop...stop asking what I want. I can't want anything."

The face Tyson made at that was like he smelt something foul, his nose wrinkling as he thought about what he'd been told. He had guessed that Elias would be damaged when he got back, but it had been so long he couldn't even fathom what broken pieces he'd have to work with.

"Ok. Finish your water and we'll get you in the shower. How's that?" He kept his voice gentle in the suggestion, relieved when some of the tension dropped from Elias's shoulders with a nod.

"Thank you."

"Let me know if you're ready to talk about anything, yeah?" As he asked, he inched his way forward, looking him over carefully. He could see the faint outline of sharp bruises around his neck, a large scar barely healed on his bottom lip, and on top of it all large purple and blue blotches scattered his pale skin. "Elias...I'm so sorry I didn't do more to stop him."

Now it was Elias's turn to flinch at the distasteful words, shaking his head quickly. "It was my choice, please don't be-"

"No, my love," Tyson protested, softly caressing his arm, "no, I should have done more. You got hurt, I should have done more to help you. I am so incredibly sorry."

Elias was tearful at the words, leaning into his touch eagerly. "Tyson I... I missed you so bad. I felt so empty without you." His lungs tightened as Tyson got closer, his hands staying so gentle against his arms that it was jarring. Elias had to remind himself that he wasn't going to hurt him, this was Tyson, Tyson wouldn't do anything to harm him, but he couldn't help the uncomfortable anxious burning in his chest when he got so close.

"I love you, Eli." He whispered.

The look on his face alone was enough to send Elias reeling, the genuine, evident adoration made his head spin. The last time someone was telling him they loved him, the only emotion he saw on his face was some sort of sick obsession, a look that told him the "love" was only surface level. He began to openly cry, barely able to bite back his sobs.

"Y-you...you do?" He whined, suddenly not able to look at him head on. The emotions were so strong and heavy that he felt weighed down. Again, he wondered how his body was still producing tears. It was probably why Tyson had given him the water. "Really?"

"Yes, really." With that, Tyson kissed the bridge of his nose ever so gently, even when he flinched a little and closed his eyes. "Now let's get you cleaned up, huh?"

"Please."

Being nude wasn't nearly as intimidating as it had been before, being forced to put himself on display for prying eyes and watering mouths ready to grab and pet and squeeze made him shamefully accustomed to not wearing clothes. Even though Tyson could easily overpower him and do any of that to him, he only touched him when he was sure it would be alright, only looked at him when he spoke. He was a little uneasy because he couldn't tell what Tyson was thinking, if he was disgusted or put off and that's why he wasn't touching him. Or maybe he'd done something wrong and Tyson was punishing him. Or he just wasn't pretty enough. He could make himself pretty, he was getting good at that, at carrying himself the way people liked him: as an object.

He did this as he was helped out of the shower, a towel wrapped around his waist. He was relieved when he felt Tyson's stare fixated on him, and he forced himself to look up at him through half-hooded lids. "Thank you, Ty," he murmured, in that way that August always loved, the way that made him go soft for a split second and then hold him closely and gently. When Tyson didn't do that, he took a shaky breath and closed the space between them, grabbing his bicep to get closer.

"Do you feel better?" He grumbled. Elias's eyes fluttered closed when Tyson reached out to run his thumb along his cheek.

"I do. Thank you so much." When he was met with silence, he turned his head slightly, pressing his lips against Tyson's wrist. His whole demeanor was screaming "touch me, please touch me" but Tyson didn't move, keeping his hand against his jaw, watching, waiting. Elias could scream.  He was too used up, that's what it was. August would hardly touch him anymore either, for the same reason: because he was a used up toy, no fun anymore. And Tyson felt the same way. It killed him to know that he wouldn't ever experience the bliss of Tyson's adoring hands on him, his warm mouth murmuring sweet nothings against his skin, his name falling from his lips, ever again.

"What are you thinking about in that pretty little head of yours?" Tyson asked him, shifting a little to stroke his hair, humming when Elias pressed into his touch desperately.

"I'm so...I'm afraid that I'm useless now." He admitted. "I know that you won't use me and...and if I'm not being used I...i just want to be important. Useful."

Tyson let out a soft, seemingly disappointed sigh, one that made Elias cringe. "Is that what it was like with August?"

He nodded slowly, not even making an effort to look up at him, too afraid he would see anger or betrayal or even nothing. That's what he was really afraid of, seeing no emotion there, the same blank stare August often gave him, toward the end. "I was just a toy, and August used me for a little while but then other people...they just started taking me too, because I was made t-to be used. But I guess I messed up cause August started hiding me and no one was allowed to touch me or speak to me and I don't want that to happen again, Ty, I want to be useful and good-"

"Eli, take a breath angel," he cooed, stepping closer to him, "I'm not them. You're a human being, and I care about you a great deal, I'm not going to use you."

Don't cry, Elias thought to himself, save your tears for when you really need them. Don't fucking cry. You look so ugly when you cry. He noticed that the voice saying it wasn't his own, rather August's low grumble. He wondered if it would always be there, saying awful things in the back of his mind. Tyson pulled his hand away, leaving Elias to sink into a frigid, freezing loneliness, the feeling of being in the basement was now inside of his chest. He brought his own fingers to his throat, wrapping his hands around his slender, bruised neck to ground himself. He hated himself for admitting it, but he knew deep down he'd look so much nicer with the collar, and maybe Tyson would use him then. Or he'd at least look at him the way he was meant to be looked at, with an intrigue and a thirst that barely overshadowed the guilt of it all. He knew the look well, he saw it every time he got up the courage to look up at the people using him. The dark eyes, the shameful pink tint to cheeks. Tyson would look at him like that, if only he was wearing his collar.

"Don't do this to me," he mumbled, voice breaking just a little, "you don't know how bad I n-need...i just need you-" he cut himself off with a swallow, shaking his head. He wasn't allowed needs or wants, what was he saying? Tyson could use him or ignore him however he saw fit, why did he think he had any say in the matter? "I'm sorry."

"Hey, don't be sorry, love. Talk to me, tell me what you need."

"Nothing," he rushed, smiling through his tears, "I don't need anything. I'm perfect."

Tyson looked on the verge of arguing, ready to pry until he got something out of him, something worthy of a reaction. He knew, though, that Elias had shut himself up again, nervous to even be standing under his gaze. So he stepped away, nodding at him slowly. "Let's get you dressed, then."

Elias was thankful for the luxury of Tyson dressing him, after the whole day spent being treated far too well, too much like a person for his comfort. It was easy to slip back into the practiced doe-eyed, mindless little toy mindset as Tyson pulled his arms through his shirt, holding him steady as he slipped pants on. When Tyson stepped back to look at him, he had a fond grin on his face.

"You're so cute," he cooed, ruffling his hair playfully as he stepped away, "I missed you so much."

Elias blushed, bowing his head as a thank you. He felt cold under his stare, cooled down too quickly from the shower. He couldn't help the tremor that shook him slightly, and the second Tyson noticed, he reached out to grab his shoulders gently, pulling him against his chest. The warmth of being close to him made him weak at the knees, and Tyson tightened his grip as he keened against him. "Oh, Tyson," he whispered, "ah, you're so warm."

"Mm. I could hold you forever. You fit so perfectly in my arms." He gave him a light squeeze, listening to his breathing hitch gently.

"Tyson," he whined, trembling fingers twisting into his shirt, "ple-please touch me. I need you to touch me."

"You need it?" He repeated.

"Y-yes, Ty. I need it so bad it aches. Please." His voice was desperate, slightly fear tinted by hearing his own request. I can't have needs, he reminded himself, but this, oh this is the blood in my veins. This is the oxygen in my lungs. I will die if I can't have this. "Oh god, Tyson, please."

At that, Tyson's lips fell against his throat, causing him to tilt his head back with a small gasp. His skin was hot from Tyson's breath and it was constricting in the same comfortable way his collar was. "I love you, Elias."

Even though it was just a hushed whisper against his skin, Elias swooned, body light and airy at the words, Tyson's hands the only thing keeping him tethered to earth. "Ah...thank you.."

Tyson pulled off to look at him, a small grin on his face as he looked him over. The second he was off of him, Elias replaced Tyson's mouth on his neck with his fingers, dropping his head back down, face flushed and shoulders high. It was too much, entirely too much to have Tyson so close to him, touching him that way, and simultaneously it wasn't nearly enough.

"Anything else?" Tyson teased, leaning forwards as if to try and entice him. Elias was glued to the floor, refusing to look up at him after a breathless whine left his throat. "What is it, baby boy?"

He watched Elias melt at the words, legs shaking slightly as he stepped forward, quickly dropping to his knees in front of Tyson. He kept his arms raised in front of him in submission until Tyson took his wrists in his hands. He looked utterly broken as he peered up at him, the shower didn't help with the cuts and bruises as much as Tyson had been hoping. The bruises under his eyes seemed near permanent, and Tyson sighed heavily.

"Let me...let me make you feel good," Elias whispered, fingers reaching for the button of his jeans. Tyson's grip on his wrists was tight though, and Elias instinctively fell pliable in his grip, dropping his stretching fingers, when he realized Tyson wasn't going to let him move any more. "Wanna make myself useful."

Tyson dropped to his knees as well, keeping his grip secure on Elias as he did, trying to be at eye level. It was difficult because he was so much smaller than Tyson and he wouldn't look up at him anyways, but Tyson returned one of his hands to his own lap and coaxed him to look up with a finger just under his chin. "My love," he soothed him, "you don't even know what you're asking for. You've only been home an hour."

"But I-I don't...Ty..." His bottom lip trembled as he spoke, and now that his arm was free he once again rubbed nervously at his throat. Tyson had just started picking up on it, and all it made him think of was having to go pick up Elias from the hospital the first time, being told he'd been strangled. "P...please, Tyson. Hu-hurts."

"Look at you, Eli. You're shaking. Why don't we get you something to eat?"

"No!" He whined, looking rather afraid at his own outburst. "Tyson, I'm begging you-"

He froze when Tyson's hand replaced his own, fingers loose around his neck. "What is this, why do you keep doing that?"

Elias flinched a little at the harsh tone he used, then he relaxed into his hand. "I don't have my...uh...a collar. I'm not used to it yet, I guess."

"A collar?! Ugh, christ. Why would he..." He trailed off as he saw the sad, dejected wince pass over Elias's face. "Hey, no, it's not you, love. You did nothing wrong."

Elias nodded slowly, then straightened out his posture a little, taking a deep breath to reassure himself. "I'm sorry. I won't whine anymore."

Tyson was shocked by the quick change in demeanor, how, when Tyson's tone changed with him, Elias seemed to correct himself to not look so bothered, so ill. The way he carried himself was more thought out, like he was aware of every muscle in his body, how to present himself in a pleasant way. He stood up with a huff. "Ok, beautiful. Come on, I'll make you some food."

Elias let Tyson pull him up to his feet, then followed him to the kitchen. He was set down in a chair to watch and wait (and look pretty, don't forget to look pretty, Tyson keeps looking over at him and smiling softly but only when he remembers to be pretty). He ignored the burning need in his chest to be underneath the knife Tyson was using to cut up fresh fruit, or to be the water running over his hands as he washed the juice off. He was jealous that he couldn't be closer to him than he was, so jealous it hurt him. But he stayed in his place at the table, because it's where Tyson wanted him to be. And that's all that mattered.

#emotional whump #whump #whump aesthetic #whump aftermath #whump art #whump blog #whump character #whump comfort #whump comic #whump community #whumpblr #whumpee #whump prompt #whump drabble #whump tropes #whump ideas #whump scenario #elias x tyson #captivity whump #whump concept #whump caretaker #whump dialogue #whump dynamics #whump fic #whump fluff #whump gore #whump inspiration #whump intro #whump inspo #whump mention

[etoileholland]

Seeing Double

Anonymous asked: Hello, my dear, got a fun ask! Tom meets up with reader except it’s actually reader’s twin cousin, maybe aunt (some people get the good genes) and they react defensively when he tries to be affectionate which confuses him at first thinking he did something wrong and tries to win her back over but it gets cleared up in the end

Pairing: Tom x female reader

Warnings: none :) 

Word count: 2.7k

A/N: I’m so sorry this request is a while overdue, but it’s better late than never I suppose. Please let me know if you’d like to be added to the taglist :)

“I cannot believe this.” You muttered to yourself as you hung up the phone with your aunt, Manon. She had just called to say that her and her daughter, Chloé, have come up from France to visit via train. It wouldn’t have been a problem, except for the fact that they had once again shown up unannounced. 

You walked into the living room of yours and Tom’s shared home to see Tom sitting on the couch, laptop on his lap. He was typing away vigorously at the keyboard, and you knew that when he’s this focused, you shouldn’t bother him. 

“Babe,” you said, hoping to try to get Tom’s attention for a second. 

“Hmm?” He hummed, not looking up from the laptop. 

“I just got off the phone with my aunt. She called to say that she’s at St. Pancras and they’ve dropped by for an unexpected visit.” 

“Oh.” Tom replied. 

“Yeah, oh indeed.” You answered. “I don’t want them taking an Uber so I’m gonna pick them up, but I’ll be back soon.”

“Okay love, drive carefully.” He didn’t bother looking up from the laptop, eyes fixed to the screen. 

Walking over to the front door and letting yourself out, you went outside to your car in the driveway. After starting it, you drove to the station to greet your family. 

You loved when your aunt and cousin visited, but you wished that they had called you before so that you would’ve had time to prepare. You desperately needed groceries and the guest room could’ve been spruced up a bit, but luckily they weren’t too pretentious. Still though, a call before they left France would’ve been nice. 

You hadn’t seen them in a long time, and you wondered if you and your cousin Chloé still looked nearly identical to each other. The resemblance was uncanny, so much in fact that your own parents had a hard time telling each other apart. Everything was nearly identical, even down to fashion choices and mannerisms. It was all fun and games until you were almost always the one about to go back to France, and not your cousin. 

When you were both children, it was easier to tell you both apart because of the accents. She definitely had a French accent while you didn’t. Well at least, until  you taught the other how to speak each other’s language without an accent; her English being spoken without a French accent and your French being spoken like a native.

You two were the same age, same height, your body shapes were similar, and you both even had the exact same birthmark on your arm. So really, you two were more like twins than you were cousins. 

Upon arriving at the train station, you easily spotted your cousin and aunt, luggage in tow. Even after not seeing each other for a few years, and not knowing what the other was wearing, you and your cousin still managed to even dress the same-both of you wearing a pink hoodie and black leggings, with white sneakers. How odd. 

“Mon ange, t’es très belle.” Your aunt cooed, running to you to give you a hug and a kiss on both cheeks. 

“Merci.” You replied, hugging her tightly. She was more of like a mother figure to you than she was to your cousin Chloé, since Chloé tended to be a bit less affectionate. That was another way that your parents could tell you apart, which was by how affectionate you were, and how unaffectionate Chloé was. She was stereotypically French in many ways, except she wasn’t affectionate. If you tried to hug her, she would stand there stiffly, while you loved being hugged. 

With that in mind, all you did was wave to Chloé, which was her favourite way of greeting people. 

“I still can’t believe you actually live here.” She remarked. 

“What, as in England? You know I love it here.”

“But everything is weird here. The food, the accents, the culture…” she trailed off, while you laughed lightly. 

“I don’t think so, personally I love it.” You said as you grabbed her luggage and began to walk to the car. 

“My love,” your aunt interjected, “don’t be rude. We’ve talked about this, yeah?” 

“Yeah, whatever.” Chloé replied as she got into the car. 

“Ignore her.” Manon whispered to you, “she’s just French” which got a laugh out of the both of you. 

—

About an hour or so later, you had arrived back to your home with Manon and Chloé, luggage in hand. Tom wasn’t where you had last seen him before you left for the station, but maybe he had gone to clean the guest room. Or at least, you hoped he did. 

“Chloé, since I’m pretty sure the guest room needs to be tidied, you can just put your luggage in my bedroom instead.” You pointed at the door that was slightly ajar. 

“Merci.” She grabbed their luggage and walked towards the door of your bedroom, opening it to see your boyfriend sat on the bed. 

“Hey baby.” He looked up from the laptop screen and gave a smile, all while Chloé looked at him funny. She completely ignored what he had said and walked to the closet to set the bags down. 

“I said, hello baby.” He pouted, but Chloé stared at him, silent as she walked out of the room.

“Well, that was odd.” Tom remarked under his breath, but didn’t think twice about it as he went back to typing. 

—

After settling in a bit, you and your aunt Manon had tidied up the guest room, all while Chloé had a snack in the kitchen. 

After rummaging through the nearly bare cabinets, and scoffing at the English snacks in the cabinets, Chloé settled on a bowl of cereal and a cup of coffee to help combat the jet lag. 

Just then, you and Manon entered the room, jackets and purses in hand. 

“Hey, we’re gonna go get some groceries for the household, do you wanna come with?” You asked Chloé, but she shook her head no. 

“You know I hate grocery shopping.” She remarked, scrunching her nose at the thought of going to the shops. 

“Right, just wanted to ask.” You hesitated, taking a step back. “If there’s anything you want though from the store, just text me. And can you let Tom know that I’m heading out? He’s busy working so I haven’t seen him since we arrived, but I presume he’s in our bedroom.” 

“Alright.” She replied flatly.

“Great. See you in about an hour or so.” And with that, you and your aunt had left the house, leaving Chloé alone. 

The house felt eerily empty, and she was beginning to regret not tagging along with you and her mom. She disregarded the thought as she went to take a sip of her coffee, nearly letting out a scream when she burnt her tongue on the hot liquid. She quickly spit out the drink, but the drops got on her shirt.

“Putain,” Chloé muttered under her breath, “fuck.” She walked over to the kitchen sink, hoping to get the stain out of the shirt. It somewhat worked, but now the shirt was soaked, and she hated the sensation of wearing wet clothing. 

“Now I’ve gotta change.” She said to herself, walking out of the kitchen and back into your bedroom. 

Remembering that she had last seen Tom in your bedroom, she knocked first before waiting a second to make sure the room was empty. She heard nothing, so she cracked the door open to take a peek inside. Tom must’ve moved to another part of the house, so she walked in there to change. She stopped in her tracks as she noticed your closet door open, all while one shirt caught her eye. She grabbed it off the rack and walked over to the mirror to see if it looked good on her. 

It was Tom’s white Saint Laurent shirt with the name of the brand embroidered in cursive on the front. Chloé held it up to her, noticing that it would fit her perfectly.

That shirt happened to be one of your favourites to borrow from Tom, and you wore it so much that he gave it to you. He always said that shirt looked better on you anyway.

She pulled the shirt over her head, admiring in the mirror how good the shirt looked on her. The shirt was a little long, but it was extremely comfortable. She heard a little knock on the door and looked back to see Tom standing in the doorway.

“Darling, you know I love that shirt on you.” He walked towards Chloé, and she took a step back. Tom looked at her puzzled, while she gave him the same confused look back.

“Listen, I know you’re stressed that your family showed up unannounced, but there’s no reason to be mad at me.” He said as he tried to put his arms around her waist. Chloé then shimmied out of his grasp and held his arms away from her.

“I am not Y/N.” She stated, and Tom laughed.

“Sure you’re not, like I’m not Tom.” He smirked and she shook her head.

“I promise I’m not Y/N.” She said again, but he looked at her like she said that the sun didn’t exist.

“God you are acting weird today.” He tried to pull her into an embrace but she shoved lightly at his chest.

“Get off of me, you idiot. I am not your lover!” She exclaimed, while Tom just was silent.

He backed up, walked out of the room and stood in the hallway. There was no way that wasn’t Y/N, he knows his girlfriend and that clearly is her.

I know she’s just stressed, so I’ll order her some fish and chips from the shop down the way, he thought to himself.

—

While at Tesco, you and your aunt shopped for an hour, easily losing track of the time while you wandered the aisles. 

“Mon ange, you know I love spending time with you.” Manon stated as she browsed the aisles of pasta. 

“And I love spending time with you.” You added, lightly touching her arm. “I wonder how Chloé is handling it at home.” You remarked as you shared a glance, shrugging your shoulders while continuing to shop.

—

“What the hell is this?” Chloé picked at the food on her plate, scrunching her nose as she picked at the food.

“Okay you’ve gotta quit this, you know you love it when I order fish and chips for you.”

“This looks like shit, and I have no idea why you Brits think this is...how do I say, edible.” She seethed, not wincing when she saw Tom’s face contort into a frown.

“Okay, that does it! I thought you would like it.” 

“Why would you think I would like this? I can think of many other things I would rather eat, even dog food would be more appetizing than this.” She pushed the plate away, and stood up from the table. 

Tom sat there, in shock of what to do. You were never this rude to him, and you loved when he ordered from the fish and chips shop from down the way. But yet, he didn’t think of the fact that maybe, just maybe, that she wasn’t you. Then again why would he? He still hadn’t met your family since he’s been busy all day, so of course the thought never crossed his mind.

“Listen, why are you making this so difficult? I’m trying to do something nice for you since I know you’re stressed out, and what do I get? A defensive girlfriend who keeps insisting that we’re not together and god that hurts.” He sat down, defeated. He placed his face in his hands and let out a sigh. 

Tom was so upset that he didn’t even hear you and your aunt walk in through the front door. Upon walking in, you both were silent as you were trying to figure out what was upsetting Tom. So, you two stood in the hallway near the kitchen so you could hear the conversation without being seen. 

“Is this some kind of sick joke? Or do you genuinely not love me anymore?” He whispered, not looking up at her face.

Chloé looked at him, remorse written all over her face. She didn’t say anything, but just sat across from him at the kitchen table.

“Y/N, please answer me.” He pleaded. She looked at him confused, now finally making the connection that he really did think she was Y/N. She figured he was joking before, but upon seeing his reaction now, she knew she had taken it too far. 

You stood by the entrance way shocked, as you wondered why he thought Chloé was you, but then you realised that Tom hadn’t seen the both of you together in the same room. He’d been busy all day, and you’ve been gone for most of the day as well.  And if your own parents couldn’t tell you apart, what made you think your boyfriend could? Once you realised that he mixed the two of you up, you and Manon looked at each other, signaling that you both should walk into the kitchen. He was hunched over the table, head in his hands as a tear rolled down his face. 

“Baby?” You walked over to him, hugging him as he pressed his head to your stomach. His eyes were closed and you could feel the tears staining your shirt. You looked over at Chloé, while she looked at you sympathetically.

“Why are you being so sweet all of the sudden?” He asked and you looked at him bewildered.

“Darling, what are you talking about?” You tried to step back, but he held you closer to him.

“You’ve been mean to me all day, ignoring me,” sniffle “and not appreciating when I did something nice for you.” He sobbed. You didn’t know that Chloé was being rude to him, but it’s something you should’ve expected. 

“Baby, I’ve been busy all day cleaning up the guest room, and I went to the store with my aunt.” You said and he shot his head up.

“What?” He asked as he looked at the both of you, nearly jumping out of his seat when he realised that you both looked identical.

“Chloé, I told you to tell him that I went grocery shopping, why didn’t you do that?” 

She just shrugged her shoulders and said, “Je sais pas, j’ai oublié.” 

“I know you didn’t forget.” You retorted, translating what she said so Tom would understand.

“Okay, maybe I didn’t, but you gotta admit it was pretty hilarious to have him think I was you all this time.” She smirked. 

“You’re terrible.” You laughed, although it was a little bit funny. 

“I know.” 

“Also, why are you wearing his, well, my shirt?” You asked, and Chloé looked down while she tugged at the bottom hem. 

“Oh, I spilled coffee on my shirt and needed something to change into. And I saw this shirt and I liked it, so now I’m wearing it.” She replied matter of factly.

“Now I can see why there’s been some confusion, I always wear that shirt.” 

“Which is why I thought it was you when I saw you wearing it, but now I feel stupid.” Tom replied, face still buried at your stomach. You ran your fingers through his hair and felt him relax against your touch.

“You’re not stupid darling, I can see why you got us both mixed up. Even our own parents could hardly tell us apart.” You said while Chloé agreed with you. 

“It’s true, you don’t know how many times we’ve both almost ended up in the wrong country.” She replied. 

“But now it makes a lot of sense why she kept saying I wasn’t her lover.” Tom muttered while your eyes widened.

“So wait, even after she denied it, you still thought she was me?” You questioned. 

“Yes,” Chloé chimed in, “I told him I wasn’t his lover but he didn’t believe me.” 

“You can’t really blame me though, you failed to mention that you and your cousin are nearly identical. How was I supposed to know?” Tom asked, eyes flickering back and forth to look at you and Chloé. 

“It’s okay darling, now you know.” You pressed a kiss to the top of his head while he held onto your waist. 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” He laughed and pulled you closer to him, all while Chloé and Manon laughed. 

——

mes petits anges (taglist): @scarletxwidow​ @fangirlwithasweettooth​ @taciturnspidey​ @harrysleftchelseaboot​ @quaksonhehe​ @halfblood-princess-505​

#tom holland x you #tom holland x reader #tom holland blurb #tom holland imagine #tom holland imagines #tom holland and y/n #tom holland x female reader #tom holland x y/n #tom holland and you #tom holland and reader #tom holland fluff #tom holland fanfic #tom holland fanfics #tom holland #tom holland one shot #tom holland one shots #tom holland writing #mine #text

[mytrashs-blog]

Drunk On You- T.H.

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Warnings: SMUTTTTTT. Please do not read this if you’re under 18. The Smutty part is between this signs: [...] so if you want to skip over the smut, you can, but it won’t make much sense. Also... There’s A LOT of swearing.

Summary: You’re a virgin and you’re drunk so you send a risky DM on instagram.

Word Count: Almost 6k... she’s thicc

A/N: I cannot tell you just how much I enjoyed writing this! It started as a 2 am inspiration punch and then it took me three weeks to finish it. It’s my first time writing smut, so I don’t know if that part’s good, but I like it and I really hope you do too. (Please if you do like it, reblog it so it can be read by more and more people).

Masterlist

(Gif isn’t mine and I couldn’t track the author, so credits go to the owner)

Fuck this shit, you’re 22 years old, you’re in college and as much as you enjoy leaving fratboys with blue balls in the middle of a party, you need to get this over with. You’re tired of waiting for the “right guy”, if you keep on doing that you’ll end up virgin for your whole fucking life. But where the fuck can you find a guy that’s not gonna judge you for being a sad, drunk virgin in the middle of a tuesday night? Being drunk and alone at your dorm was pathetic enough…

So you scroll through instagram for a while only to find out there’s no right suitor for the job, but in the heat of the moment you notice that Tom Holland, yes the scrawny white boy that looks 12 and plays Spider-man has just posted a shirtless picture and boy, he does not look 12 anymore. So you slide into his DM’s just for the shit and giggles:

“Hey, Tommy boy!

You probably get millions of DMs like this every second of everyday, but fuck, I just wanted to say that you are extremely hot and I am extremely virgin and I’m also drunk, so I thought I’d write you to ask for a massive favor.

Would you have sex with me just to take my virginity away? Ok, thanks.

Bye!

P.S. I think you’re great in your new film.”

And yes, you did press send to that, but of course you don’t even remember writing it in the first place the next morning while getting ready for your 9am class, so your daily routine goes on as normal.

But then, while you’re making your best effort not to fall asleep while your professor talks about some depressed artist that beat his wife and was super sexist, but was somehow excused because he made some decent poem, you hear the unmistakeable ping of your phone, which can only mean that you got a text, so you go to see it, because that is far less rude than falling asleep during class, but you were surely not ready for what was showing on your phone screen.

All air, and life to be honest, left your body for a second, you double checked, and then triple checked and yes… Tom Holland had wrote you on instagram’s direct messages.

“Holy fuck” you only realize you said that out loud when the three people closest you turn to look at you and shush you, but you’re still in shock and still have not opened the message, but maybe it’s not a great idea to open it in front of everybody, specially your professor, so you figure the bathroom will be the best place to do it.

You lock yourself in a stall and sit down, get your phone out, take a deep breath and open the instagram message. My God, you were not expecting what your screen showed:

“Haha, this is too cool to ignore! I happen to be in your area right now… Give me a call and I’ll make it happen ;)”

And yes, his phone number was there too. The phone number of THE Tom Holland! like… WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?! What are the odds of him actually reading your DM? And the odds of him replying? And the odds of TOM MOTHERFUCKING HOLLAND agreeing to be your first time?! Someone up there must be having a good laugh.

But it would be rude to chicken out now, right? One does not simply say no to fuck with a Marvel actor. You gotta do it. It's your holy duty. So you reply with a simple “Looking forward to it” and you get your shit together before returning to your class.

You think about texting him while you walk to grab some lunch, but what do you say to a celebrity that agreed to deflower you?… Wait. Holy shit! You’re actually gonna have sex with Tom Holland! He’s super ripped! And you’re gonna see and feel all his bits and pieces… honestly, your panties got a bit damp just thinking about that. This is gonna be fun.

You decide to shoot the text while waiting for your iced coffee. “Hey, it’s (Y/N) from instagram. Are you serious about the thing? If so, when are you available?”

And that’s when the game begins, cause he replied almost instantly and you decided he’s just another fratboy playing around, so you played along.

“I’m dead serious, babe. I can do it tonight.”

“Nice. That’s how I like it… what time are we talking about?”

“9 ish, maybe 10.”

“Gotta give me an hour… also, it would have to be at yours, cause I live in a dorm that I share with another girl.”

“You could ask her to join…”

“Haha. Nah, this is all for me to enjoy.”

“And you will. 9:30 sounds good for you, babe?

“Perfect.”

“I can pick you up. Send me your location and I’ll go there.”

“Nice. I’m liking it already.”

“You’ll like it even more.”

You go about your day with a stupid smile all day, nervous and excited for what’s gonna happen later. Paying attention to class? What is that? Concentrating on your due projects? You don’t know her. All you can do is think about the things that man might do to you later.

Wait… you gotta shave. Also, should you go buy some nice underwear? It overwhelms you how unprepared you are and you run, abandoning everything you had to do that day to go get ready to have sex with a super hot celebrity.

You shaved, exfoliated, bought nice underwear, picked out a sexy outfit, you even tried to work out a little to look a bit more toned for him. You allowed your most extra self to come and shine, and you definetely enjoyed the process.

“What are you getting ready for? It’s wednesday. I doubt there’s any interesting party. Oh God! Do you have a date?” your roomate asked as soon as she saw you posing a skirt for the mirror when she walked in.

“I think so… I don’t know. I’m gonna meet this guy I met on instagram.” She gave you a corncerned look, but you were definetely not gonna tell her the details, that’s extremely private, it’s rude to tell people about celebrities intimate life, even if it’s with you. He didn’t mention anything about keeping it secret, but it would do a lot of harm to freely go around saying that he likes having sex with fans. It would ruin his privacy completely. At least from your part, you can guarantee no one’s ever gonna find out.

True to your word, you sent him your location an hour before the time you arranged and he called you, yes. HE CALLED YOU at 9:30p.m. on the dot to tell you he was outside and it took you a second to process the call, so much that you couldn’t voice anything more than an “Okay”… that basically ruined your super confident text attitude, and this was over the phone, would you even be able to get inside his car? The nervousness really hit you like a truck the second you hung up the phone, and your roomate noticed, but she didn’t say anything.

After taking a few deep breaths and counting to ten trying to calm yourself down, you get your purse and walk down the hallway and the stairs of the dorms and by the time you get to the main door, your legs are shaking like crazy and your palms are a little sweaty, so you gotta calm down again and remind yourself that this man is just a regular human being and that nothing has to happen if you don’t want to. And just like with tequila shots, you stop thinking and just go for it.

As soon as you see the car, you walk confidently towards it, and as he rolls down the window you can see it really is him, but you don’t let his face tear your confidence down, so you slightly smile and get in the car, it’s an extremely fancy car and you’re sure you’ve never set foot in anything this luxurious, honestly there’s no doubt that the seat your ass is resting on right now could easily be worth your entire college tuition and student loans. Okay, maybe that is an exageration, but it sure looks expensive.

“Hey, nice to finally meet you in person… I’m Tom!” he smiles in a polite and friendly matter, and you can see there’s a hint of nervousness in his smile aswell and that eases you a little because it confirms that he’s just as normal as you are.

“I’m (Y/N), pleasure to meet you. Thank you for agreeing to do this. I know it’s super weird and all, and I was definetely not expecting this outcome when I sent that message last night, but I’m grateful regardless…” you’re rambling, but he doesn’t seem to mind, he looks amused even. When you finally stop talking he drives away and you fall into a slightly uncomfortable silence, until he turns the music on and you recognize the song so you start humming along, and he joins, but other than that, there’s not much talking on the way to the apartment he’s staying at temporarily right now.

The place looks expensive, but it’s also very simply decored, it does look a temporary thing, but it also looks like a place where a single chaotic youn man exploded, so there’s empty beer bottles here and there, clothes literally everywhere and dirty dishes in the sink… but it does smell like cologne, very manly aswell… being at his place sets a whole new level of anxiety, because this is just so intimate. You’re inside his little world, his safe space, and even if it’s just for a brief moment you’re just happy that he agreed to do this with you.

“Do you want anything to drink? I have wine, beer and a spare champagne bottle from the other night… or just water. Please make yourself comfortable, sorry about the mess, I really don’t like cleaning.”

“That’s alright… you should see my dorm during finals week, that’s a whole other level of messy, haha… and wine would be great, thanks.” You’re slowly calming down and trying no to overthink about what’s about to happen and forget about the reputation of the man you’re doing it with, because the fact that he’s famous doesn’t mean he’s less human and maybe glorifying him for his job is a little rude from you. So you sit down in the couch, right next to a thrown blue hoodie, hold on a second… this is the one from Spider-Man: Homecoming, the one with the emblem of the highschool, shit, this is a historical piece of clothing for the cinematic world and you’re sitting right next to it. Shit, there goes all the progress you had made in the last fifteen minutes.

When he comes back with two glasses of wine in one hand and the bottle in the other one, you help him put down the stuff safely because he looks so stressed carrying the things and it is a small funny moment, before he sits down right beside you and it becomes impossible to get your words to come out of your mouth. So he takes the lead.

“Listen, I don’t want you to think I’m some sort of predator, okay? I don’t know why I agreed to do this, but it was not to take advantage of you, so if at any point you feel uncomfortable and you don’t wanna do this anymore, you can just tell me and we’ll call this off, okay.” He puts his hand on you knee to reassure you and it does make you feel better, and you relax into your seat  and just nod a little before speaking.

“Thank you” And it comes out like you’re breathing out in relief, and that’s when he leans in to kiss you and you take a deep breath before corresponding and taking the last step to seal your lips together.

Your mind just goes blank and you forget what you were nervous about in the first place, kissing Tom is not that much different than kissing any other guy, except for the fact that his lips are softer than most guys’, but this one does have to take care of himself, it is literally part of his job and it should not be that surprising that a guy takes basic care for his appearance, but it is nice.

[…]

The kiss moves in a nice rythm and his hands start sliding from your knee to your waist and he pulls you closer to him and your hands find their courage and go to the back of his neck and so you’re also pulling him in, and all you want is to have him closer, as close as you can possibly have him, and when his hand moves down to your ass, you take that as the perfect moment to throw your leg over so you can straddle him and now both of Tom’s hands are on your ass and you grab onto his shoulders for leverage, and just because you need to breathe in properly, you let your lips disconnect and you see him beneath you.

His hand comes up to move your hair out of your face and you stare at each others eyes for a second and it doesn’t feel overwhelming anymore, so you smile at him for a brief moment, but being apart from his lips feels terrible right now so you lean back in and his hand is in your head and he’s pushing you closer to him, and your hands just slide down to his chest, you play with the chain he has on for a second and he smiles into the kiss, but then you move your attention to the buttons of his shirt and start undoing them.

You take your lips to his neck and he becomes super responsive, you find his sensitive spot quite quickly and he moves you closer to him so you feel his lenght rubbing against your core and it makes you go undo the buttons faster, before you know it he’s taking the shirt off and throwing it to the floor, when his hands are free, he takes advantage and lifts your blouse and you put your arms up to give him easy access. You’re glad you rush bought that set of nice underwear, because Tom’s eyes visibly fill with lust at the sight of the barely there lacy piece covering your breasts.

He touches your chest ever so lightly it gives you goosebumps, he traces a path to your breasts but he stops right before getting to them “Can I?” he whispers, looking straight into your eyes, and there’s something so sexy about him seeking your explicit consent, it makes your panties a little wetter, you nod lightly and he goes ahead, tracing the shape of your breasts with his fingers, like he wants to get familiar with them, he takes one of your nipples between his fingers and applies a little preasure on it, and then on the other one, he’s taking his sweet time before cupping them and pressing his lips in the space between them, and your hands respond to that by taking his hair and pulling lightly and he moans into your skin and it makes you shiver.

He keeps leaving wet kisses on your nipples and sucking on sensitive spots and you can swear it will leave marks, but who cares, you’re just over the moon with everything that’s happening and you just want more and more. He takes one hand to your ass again and he holds it tightly, using the other hand he slides to the edge of the couch and just like it’s nothing heavier than an empty box, he stands up, and you gasp because frankly you were not expecting it, he laughs a little and gives you a reassuring smile.

“I just thought we’ll be more comfortable in my room.”

“Okay, then.” You find it so odd that he’s so unbothered while carrying your full weight, like you’re not exactly the lightest woman in the world, but you won’t deny that being so close and personal to his biceps like this, it’s something you could get used to.

He takes you up the stairs, and along the corridor, once you reach the door, he turns the knob but decides to kick the door rather than opening it like a normal person, but you can’t complain because every moves looks hotter than the previous, and when he lays you down on his bed and stays hovering above you, you just can’t handle it and you kiss him again, your legs hug around his bum to bring him closer where you need him and he takes the hint, he pushes your skirt to your stomach and before he does anything else, his seeks your consent “Is this okay?” he asks, “Yes.” you say loud and clear and he rubs his fingers on your core, and it feels good, but your panties feel like a concrete wall, you just need to feel his fingers, his everything all over your body, so you arch your back and unzip the skirt and he pulls it down and throws it to a corner of the room.

He takes a second to look at you in just your underwear and you feel exposed, but he’s looking at you like you’re some sort of Goddess, he kicks his shoes off and goes to undo the button of his jeans, and it looks so slow and you need him now but you watch him and when he slides down the jeans and you can make out the shape of his member. You feel a little overwhelmed with the view in front of you, and you take a moment to take it all in. His face is crowned by (now) very messy curls, his eyes that used to be brown are practically pitch black by both the dim lighting and lust, there’s freckles all over his nose and cheeks, but they’re barely noticeable, his jawline is the most defined you’ve ever been near to, but even though there are a lot of strong features in his face, he looks almost childish and innocent… until you drop your eyes to his chest, that is.

Every single muscle in his chest has some sort of definition, he’s not as ripped as in the movies, but then again, he’s not super dehydrated and over exercised right now, and he still looks more muscular than any guy you know, his abs are defined, there’s a visible V marking the path from his hips to his member and it is stupidly making your mouth water. He has black Calvin Kleins still on, but that’s the last piece of clothing he has on, and the anticipation is killing you.

He takes you by the ankles an pulls you closer to the edge of the bed and he spreads your legs open and gives you a devilish smile before leaning back in to give you a quick yet intense kiss on the lips and he slides down to your neck and chest again, but he keeps making his way down your body towards your bellybutton and it gives you goosebumps everytime he gives you even a peck or a light touch, you’re shivering with every touch.

“Relax, love… if you want me to stop you can just say it, okay?” He says looking up at you and you nod, you breathe in to calm your nerves down, he waits for you, when you’re finally ready you nod at him again, he gives your waist a light squeeze, smiles at you and places a kiss to your stomach and keeps kissing you lower, until one of his hands goes to your thigh while the other teases the waistband of your panties, hooking one finger on it, he starts pulling it down painfully slowly, you lift your bum to make it easier for your panties to leave your body, once Tom strecthes them to throw them to some part of the room, you sit up to take off your bra and he looks intently at you while you do it, so you smile and lock your eyes to his just to make it more interesting, and you also take your sweet time unclasping the clips, and Tom starts to get impatient, you can see it in his smile, but you enjoy playing with him so even when you do unclasp both clips, you keep the piece on and he puts his hands on his hair in exasperation and you just laugh, enjoying this small moment of being the one in charge, but you give in and take the lacy bra off and throw it to him, he catches it and throws it to the side.

You’re completely naked in his bed and he’s taking the view in. “You’re very beautiful, you know?” he says and you feel the blush creep up to your cheeks, but you smile and thank him regardless, he smiles back and leans back down, he kisses one of your thighs and then the other one, before he does anything else he looks up at you, once again looking for any signs of hesitation “Are you sure you want this?” he asks from his position and when you nod, he dives in.

He presses a light kiss into your folds and you immediately feel electricity emmiting from your core. Needless to say it’s your first time recieving an oral, every sensation is new, you can’t even tell if he’s good at this or not, but for you, it feels like the best sensation in the world, his tongue dances over your clit and you just grasp the sheets for dear life and when he sucks on it you swear you could come right there, but you manage to hold it for a little longer and he keeps going, it doesn’t take long for him to introduce one finger inside, the moan you let out is just obscene and he seems to love it, because he moans too but the vibrations that it sent to your clit make you lose it and you come yelling his name like your life depends on it and he guides you through your first orgasm of the night with his mouth and finger still pumping in and out.

“You’re dripping wet, you know that?” He tells you once you’ve calmed down and have regained your ability to function like a human being, you smile at him, trying to speak, but that function has not come back yet. He kisses you in the mouth and you can taste yourself in his mouth, you start relaxing into the kiss, and he starts tracing gentle circles on the skin of your stomach and you turn your body so can be face to face and your leg happens to feel his dick, and it feels impossibly hard, so you try to relieve the pressure by stroking it with your hand, but when you get your hand down his waistband, Tom stops you “If you touch me now, I’ll be the biggest dissapointment of your life.”

“You forget that I’m a virgin… I have nothing to compare you to.”

“Still… I’ve got my pride.” he finishes as he gets up and rumbles in a drawer of his nightstand, he finds the condom and shows it to you. “Do you want to do this?”

You take a deep breath, there’s nothing you want more than do it right now, but it sure makes you nervous, still you give him verbal consent “Yes, I do.”

That’s all he needs, he stands up completely and takes his underwear off, it happens quite fast, but you do get to apreciate his dick in full exposure, not that you’d know, but it sure looks like it’s gonna be hard to fit that inside of you, and you panic a little and Tom notices and chuckles while he slides the condom on, “It’s gonna be alright, I’ll make sure of it.”

He crawls back to the bed and hovers above you, his hand go to your core again and he slowly introduces one finger into you and starts pumping in and out slowly, he stays looking in your eyes, watching your every reaction, you’re moaning slightly, when he notices that you’ve gotten used to the sensation, he adds another digit and the pressure feels uncomfortable, but he notices so he waits for you to get used to the feeling before he starts pumping it, you bite your lip as you enjoy his movements, moans coming out of your mouth to the rythm of his fingers, when he starts stretching you by doing scissor motions with his fingers, the feeling increases and it is a lot more intense so you hold onto his arm, he’s still looking at you, wanting to be sure that you’re okay and staying alert to see any signs of discomfort in you, but you like it so much.

He takes his fingers out and the emptiness is just overwhelming, but when you see that he’s trying to align himself to your entry, you relax and stress at the same time. This is real. It’s gonna happen. Actually it’s happening at this moment. He looks at you again and lifts his eyebrows in question, you nod lightly and you hold on to his forearm and his neck in preparation. He pushes slowly in, it hurts a little but it’s not that bad, Tom sees you wincing and stops, waiting for you to get used to the new feeling, when you do, he keeps pushing a little. The rythm goes like that until he’s fully in.

You can see he’s having a hard time trying not to hurt you, it’s clear that he just wants to go for it, but you’re grateful he’s containing himself while you get used to the feeling of being so full right now, when you’re ready, you nod at him and he pulls slightly out, waits for you, and pushes back in. The rythm is slow at first for you to get used to it. At first it feels like too much, but the more he thrusts into you, it starts being not enough.

His grunts and moans sound heavinly to your ears, and whenever you are brave enough to just open your eyes and see him, his face is just so beautiful, he has a frown in his face out of concentration and self control, you’re admiring him when he opens his eyes and they meet yours, it’s such an intimate moment, it makes you blush a little bit, you caress his cheek and hair, interlocking your fingers in his curly locks, he lets out a soft moan in pleasure.

The pace gets faster and stronger and you’re getting closer to your high with every thrust, he’s hitting a point inside of you that you didn’t even know existed and it’s a whole new level of pleasure, it’s even making you feel like the world is spinning, you grab onto his back and scratch as you try to keep it together, he moans loudly and stops and pulls out suddenly.

“Get on all fours for me, love.” he tells you and you comply, he pulls you closer to the edge of the bed so he can fuck you while standing up off the bed, you try to arch your back to give him better access, he slides in easier now, and the sensation changes completely, he’s hitting another point that feels even better in this angle, the pleasure doesn’t let you stay stable and your arms can’t keep you up, so you press your face to a pillow and you can’t stop moaning his name, your high creeping up from your stomach once again.

“T- Tom… I think I’m gonna…”

“Wait for me, darling, I’m right there with you.”

His thrusts become sloppy and arythmic, he goes faster, his grunts louder with each thrust, your names falls from his mouth a lot more now, and his is the only word you can say at this point. You come first with an incredibly loud moan of his name. The feeling of you reaching your orgasm around his dick is enough to send him over the edge too, your name being dropped with a loud grunt, he squeezes your breast and rests his head on your back when he comes down from his high, both of you panting. You stay like that for a moment, but then Tom pulls out and goes to the bathroom to dispose of the condom.

[…]

You lay in the bed completely naked, but you do feel more exposed now that the moment’s over, so you cover up with a pillow and think about what just happened, relishing on how good it was, you figure this was the best idea you’ve had in a while, even if the most ridiculous but it worked out pretty well.

Tom comes back soon after and hands you a water bottle (because he apparently just keeps water bottles in his bathroom), you thank him and he lays in the bed with you. “How was that?” he asks you in some worried matter, like his whole career depended on your answer, you look at him and smile at him like he’s crazy, you had two orgasms, isn’t that enough proof that you liked it? when the anxiety becomes aparent in his face, you give him the verbal confirmation. “Of course I did, wasn’t it obvious?” you say while trying to hide your face, he takes your arms to stop you from doing so.

“Y/N! Don’t hide! It was actually really good for me too, and I’m happy you had a good first time, it’s cool.”

You smile at him bigger now, getting more comfortable now, and he leans to leave a kiss on your forehead, and you lay there just chilling for a while. Checking the clock in Tom’s bedside table you realize it’s almost 2 in the morning, you haven’t talked about this, but you think it’s not a good idea to stay the night, maybe he has things to do tomorrow, and you do have a class at 9, so you start to get up to recolect your clothes.

“Where are you going?” Tom asks in a whiny tone, he was right about to fall asleep before you got up.

“I think it’s time for me to leave, it’s quite late and I’ve got class tomorrow.” you reply with a slightly sad tone, just for the drama.

“You don’t have to go. There’s no way I’m letting you take an uber and I’m too lazy to get up and drive you… so stay, I promise I’ll take you to your front door tomorrow morning, alright?” also, he gives you mad puppy eyes to convince you, but you still move around the room trying to find your underwear, just to not be naked anymore.

“Okay, just let me put some clothes back on, cause this is weird.”

“Can you throw me my underwear, please?”

“Yeah, just let me try and find them.” You throw them at him once you find them among the mess and they land straight in his face, you just gotta laugh at it and he just rolls his eyes at you and puts the thing on jokingly bitching about you being rude to him and you just laugh at him while you walk back to the bed.

At some point, Tom goes to retrieve your clothes and the wine from the living room while you just scroll through your phone absent mindedly, you half read the tweets and just ignore the instagram posts you see until he gets back and gives you your barely touched glass of wine and lays back down next to you.

You stay there for a while just talking and drinking, actually getting to know each other, you tell him about your major in college, how hard it gets sometimes, and you even tell him about why you had never had sex before. He tells you about his work, his family, the things he wants to do next… he does tell you a little tiny spoiler of the future of Marvel, which you had to swear you wouldn’t reveal to anyone ever and it would be a secret you take to your graveyard. It’s a nice pillow talk, you’re laying in the bed, facing each other, his hand is lazily resting on your waist, yours playing with the chain on his neck. This is likely even more intimate than the sex itself, and it’s nice.

When you do finally fall asleep, is in that position. Wine bottle completely empty in the floor, clothes laying around, only sound in the room being the light snores of Tom and heavy sleep breathing. You’re extremely comfortable and relaxed, long forgotten how nervous you were before this happened. You could get used to this.

Your slumber is ruined when the alarm goes off at half 7 in the morning, you feel tired, but you get your clothes back on anyway, Tom takes a little longer to fully wake up, but he keeps his promise and throws a pair of sweatpants and a white shirt, he also throws a hat on just to not deal with his morning/sex hair, for the same reason, you also just put your hair in a messy bun.

He actually parks the car and walks you back to your dorm, it’s quite early, but there is some people around the hallways anyways and it makes you a bit anxious thinking you might get him in trouble if he does get recognized, but he seems relaxed and unbothered about it anyway.

“I had a lot of fun. It was really nice to get to know you… call me up if you ever want to do this again, okay?” he tells you with his hands stuck in his pockets, it makes you smile how cute he looks.

“Thank you, Tom. I really enjoyed it… thanks for not being weird about this whole thing.”

“That’s alright. Okay, take care and don’t be a stranger, okay?”

“Okay.” He gives you a last kiss on the cheek before you get inside your dorm to get ready for class, and he goes back home, and that is it.

Months go by without you ever talking to or about Tom, you just assumed that was the end of everything you lived with him and it is a lovely and super hot thing to remember, but there's nothing more to it.

Bing

Your phone goes off in the middle of the night. You were studying, so you weren't talking to anyone. As you check the notification, you freeze just like you did the first time you saw his name on your screen.

"Hey! I'm in your town! What are you up to?"

-

Tagging some people to avoid the flop:

@caeruleum-in-caritate-lupus, @softstarkk, @peterparkerbabyy, @dottirose, @legit-fandom-trash, @carostar2020, @appreciating-chase-brody, @mvmakki @madmadmilk @hollandrecs @starksparker @sunshinehollandd

#my writing #tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland one shot #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland blurb #tom holland fluff #tom holland smut #tom holland angst #tom #holland #peter parker #peter parker imagine #peter parker one shot #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker blurb #peter parker fluff #peter parker smut #peter parker angst #peter #perker #spiderman #spider-man #spider man #spider-man homecoming #spider-man far from home #marvel #fanfiction

[realityhelixcreates]

Beta, Theta, and Me Chapter 10: Territorial

Chapters: 10/?

Fandom: Thor (Movies), Avengers (Movies) Marvel Cinematic Universe

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Relationships: Loki x Reader (But not right now),Drug Use

Characters:  Loki(Marvel) Additional Tags:  A/B/O, Sorta, More Of An Exploration Of  Life And Self Expression Within An A/B/O Framework, Loki Does What He Wants, But Loki Does Not Actually Do What He Wants, Antagonistic Bosses,  Loki Has A Throne Now, But It’s Not What He Wanted

Summary: You learn the reality of not being alone in the universe

You hunkered down in your soft, fold-out futon couch, shaken by what you now knew.

They were invaders. Loki, Thor, all  the Asgardians, an invading force.

But they weren't invading this planet.

You didn't think you'd ever forget the blazing triumph in Loki's eyes, as he explained the plan. He might as well explain it to you. There was nothing you could do about it. There was nothing you would do about it. And Loki knew it.

Rain slammed into the glass like stones, flung by screaming wind. It had been pouring all day, even before you'd served Loki his breakfast.

“Did someone piss off your brother or what?” you joked. Loki swiftly grasped your hand before you could crush his pill for the morning.

“Yes, and I would have my mind clear when he comes to visit. I will bear the pain until afterwards.”

Thunder cracked the personable atmosphere of breakfast.

“You should retire to your rooms for a while.” Loki said. So you gathered up what was left of your meal and returned to your apartment. You had a nice little table in front of a window, where you sat with your orange juice and pancakes, watching the sheeting rain.

The sound of the Bifrost roared down louder than the rain. Thor had come by to discuss things with Loki several times now, you hiding out in your room each time. You weren't sure why you were never allowed to be seen-perhaps servants in Asgard were supposed to be invisible or something. Or perhaps Loki wasn't actually supposed to have you. Oh well, it wouldn't be the first time you were living somewhere illegally.

The two of them talked very loudly, almost shouting, but it didn't sound like a fight. It sounded more like enthusiasm, rising and falling, the foreign words and unfamiliar cadence. Thor stayed for several hours, keeping up their lively discussion, but you didn't once hear either of them laugh. Whatever their enthusiasm was about, it probably wasn't a cheerful thing.

You relaxed in your apartment, reading a battered old book while they hashed out whatever they were working on, making yourself a light lunch while the rain weakened and petered out. The Bifrost roared again, just as the sun struggled out of the clouds.

Not long after, you heard Loki calling for you, always as if he were right beside you. He was waiting at the table when you exited back out into his miniature kingdom, eyes bright with the exercise of thought. He waited patiently while you prepared fresh tea for him, and mixed it with his medicine, drinking it without complaint. Thor's Alpha scent hung around the place, somehow harsher than Loki's. You were tempted to dampen it with a scented spray, but you knew Loki didn't like them. 'Stinking, chemical concoctions' he called them.

You did chores around the penthouse, as he went over the contents of a notebook. You knew his medicine was taking effect when he suddenly started talking.

“How do you feel about this building?” he asked abruptly, shoving the notebook at you.

“How do I feel about it? Uh, well, let me see.” You took the notebook, full of runes and sketches. The sketch of the house Loki indicated appeared to you like a man-made hill, a cluster of little domes around a large dome, with no windows but several doors. It had a vintage science fiction kind of look, as if someone had designed a Hobbit hole for the far future.

“It's cute.” you said. “Looks like some kind of earth house?”

“Not quite.” he said, smug amusement coloring his voice. “Would you live in such a house?”

“Sure, I'd live in any kind of house. A house is a house, and I'm never gonna be picky about that. I do wonder about the inside lighting, since there's no windows.” “Oh, it would be lit by magic. Magic light it so easy to make that many forms of magic create light as a by-product! It would be bright as day on the inside. There could be no windows, because the structure would be partially underground, and the outside walls would be about nine feet thick.”

“Wow. I knew earthworks need thick walls, but that seems like kind of a lot.”

“But would you still live in such a home?”

“Well yeah. Still a house, after all. Look, I know you're high as a kite right now, but this is about something, isn't it? Is it what Thor was here to talk about?” “Insolent thing. I'm not that high. Am I? No, of course not. But yes, this is about our meeting this morning. Twice has my brother come bearing distressing news about the future of Asgard, and this time, we began planning. These houses are a part of it.”

“Is something wrong with Asgard? Are you guys gonna be okay?”

“Oh yes, we will be fine. I foresaw something like this happening, and my brother's pride is sorely bruised, but our people are in no danger. You see, the government of Canada set aside some land for Asgard to settle upon-a handful of islands off the coast of the larger island of Nova Scotia. This seemed quite generous at first, and quite in line with the kindliness that country is famed for. I could have told Thor that it would prove somehow false. If not humanity itself, then the governing bodies of humanity certainly are the least trustworthy things in this whole great galaxy.”

“What did they do?” you asked. “Are they trying to bilk you? Make you pay for it all? Force you into debt?”

“No, no. They gave us the land so that the native peoples they stole it from could never get it back. Settler's laws, or some such.”

“That's awful!” The disillusionment led straight to disgust, and no small amount of disappointment. Because Canada did seem so nice, and maybe it was just a form of American wish fulfillment to believe that Canada was somehow 'better' than the States. But realistically, both countries had been formed in the same way: European settlers sweeping from one coast to the other. And the only way it seemed that they knew how to do that was to smash their way through whoever was between the Here, and the There.

“Indeed.” Loki sneered. “Thor is enraged at the sheer ingratitude. Many times he has been involved in the protection of your backwater globe, and these fools seek to use him as a pawn. I may occasionally want to stab his face off, but he is still a god, and we are all of us above the petty greed and power games that humans play against one another.”

“What are you going to do?”

“It's very simple. We are going to secure the land, build a legal cage so tight that it cannot be taken away, make it ours completely, and without question. Then, when we have gathered the necessary supplies, we will turn the land over to the people it was stolen from, and Asgard will leave. We will invite them to live among us in the interim, and likely leave a small garrison behind to guard against Canadian invasion.”

“Ha!” you burst out. “Good! Fuck those guys! But where is Asgard going to go then? I can't think of anyplace that isn't already full of people. Except maybe Antarctica? It'd be pretty hard to live there though.”

“Asgard has the technology to make practically any rock a paradise.” Loki bragged. “But we will not be moving to Antarctica, no. We will not remain on Earth. No, Earth had it's chance, and chose betrayal. We will be moving to the planet you call Mars.”

“What? Mars? Like Mars, Mars?” you sat, shocked, the notebook in your lap. “You can't just...”

Loki silenced you with a thin, smug smile.

“Whyever not?” he asked. “Who lives there? What lives there? Nothing, and no one. We would not be pushing anybody out of their homelands, nor posing a danger to any ecosystem. There is nothing there but remote controlled toys. No one has claim over it. I know there is at least one fool who fancies himself a genius, and has convinced many that he owns the place, but how is he going to get there? In one of his constantly exploding vehicles? No, Earth has no power over Mars, and soon it will be ours. We are the ones who can make it a livable land. Humans simply don't have the technology or experience. Can you harness Bifrost energy to get the core and mantle moving again, to create a magnetic field? You do not. Can you live safely on the surface for long enough to get anything done? You cannot. In fact, for humans to be safe on Mars, you would have to hide behind around nine feet of Martian soil.”

“Nine-like the house? That design is for a Mars house?”

“Clever thing. Yes, it is for a Mars house. Part of a community partially above and partially below ground, connected by buried roadways. A city adapted to the planets unique characteristics. We will alter the landscape, reignite the magnetic field, cleanse the soil of radiation, perhaps use that as a secondary energy source for a while. The planet is rich in water: this whole system is so rich in resources that it would absolutely be under attack at all times if more people knew about it.

But you have us now. We know how to render empty planets useful. Once we have made Mars into our new Asgard, we will turn our eyes to the great potential of the one you call Venus.”

“You're gonna take Venus too?” you exclaimed.

“Take? Again, who owns it? No one. There is no one to take it from. Imagine thinking that just because you see something, just because you name it, that somehow means you own it. No one lives there, and there are no habitats to destroy, so why does this offend you so?”

You couldn't really answer. Everything he had said was true. And yet, you still somehow felt a sort of proprietary nebulous collective ownership over the planetary system that was your species only home.

“Do you feel entitled to the asteroids as well? The comets? The moons and atmospheres of the giant planets? The very dust of the stellar cloud? Your species once shared this backwater world with multiple other human species, but now that you are the only ones left, you've forgotten how to share with anyone.”

“Is it sharing? You can travel around better than we can. Will there be anything left by the time we're able to travel like you?”

He chuckled, the condescension like a thick layer of butter over bread.

“Oh, I understand now. You're so used to the overarching greed and cruelty of your own people, that you can't imagine that we could be any different. We aren't going to lock you little humans away from Mars, or Venus, or any other place. Indeed, why do you think we've been studying how thick a wall is needed for human safety on Mars? It is all but certain that humans and Asgardians will live side by side throughout this star system. You will join us sooner or later. It is inevitable. The instant the perceived challenge is issued, your desiccated space programs will flare back to life. You humans are incredibly competitive, though in a different way than Asgardians. We are more individual, but you drift towards teams. It will be interesting to see how the competition plays out.”

“You're looking forward to this?” you asked.

“I am counting on it.” he said. “Now, do you think that house would be big enough for you? It will be roughly three times the size of your current apartment, and partially underground. Would that bother you? Would you need more space?”

The notebook slipped to the floor. “You can't mean...” you whispered.

“Give it some thought. It won't be for a while yet, but I'm pretty sure it will be within your lifetime. Would you like to be the first human on Mars? Beat that so-called genius to the red planet? See us kickstart the world?”

It was a fantastic dream. Impossible. Completely impossible. But could you? “I-I don't know...”

“Think on it. But for now, I think this medicine is making me weary. I am losing track of time and thought. Take me to the window, and sit with me there.”

You did, making yourself comfortable on your special cushion, as he rambled about Asgardian building techniques, methods of energy storage, and how to contain oxygen in their hypothetical underground cities while working on building a sustainable atmosphere. He talked about Mars as if it were no more than a challenge, explaining all the resources that made the planet such a likely candidate for the transformation process. How they could alter the thin atmosphere with Thor's power to create ozone, split molecules to create oxygen, how to decontaminate irradiated soil, and even enrich it with naturally occurring resources. You didn't understand much of it, but the gist was that they had done this before, and only lacked the resources to build the tools they needed. As soon as they had that, there were no limits. According to Loki, it could all be done very fast.

And he was very fixated on the idea of you coming with him, seemed to have a very romanticized view of the human drive to explore. In some ways, he wasn't wrong. The thought of being the first human to travel to the red planet, to walk on its surface, to live there-it was thrilling. It was a dream humankind had harbored for a long time.

On the other hand, as far as you understood, Mars was kind of a shithole.

Yes, Loki claimed that his people could change that, prattling on about groves, and grasslands, and even tropics. He was also high. He could just as easily be talking nonsense.

Atmosphere notwithstanding, Mars was farther from the sun than Earth was. Wouldn't it always be colder? You could envision, after a lot of work and change, the planet hosting the kinds of things that grew in Siberia maybe. Lichens and short, scrubby grasses, possibly even conifers. Maybe seaweed, in the great seas and lakes he described the icecaps filling up.

But delicate tropical flowers, and big, soft fruits, and plants that needed three hundred days of strong sun and sweltering temperatures to thrive? No way. Better to leave the jungles to Venus.

Which was apparently part of the plan. The thinning of the atmosphere of Venus, would contribute to the thickening of the atmosphere of Mars. It involved even more technobabble that you couldn't grasp, but Loki was very sure about the viability of transferring resources throughout the solar system. From atmosphere, to water, to metals, to trace elements, Asgardians apparently knew how to do it all. It almost made you believe it.

Loki babbled like a bird all through dinner and the evening, and you were almost glad to be sent off the warm his bed. Your brain was exhausted, but he was as energetic as ever.

Stripped of your uniform, you snuggled into his luxurious bed, still trying to resolve the image of Loki-lover of opulent baths, rich clothing, and indulgent bedding-with that of an excited, daring, and rough living pioneer. You drifted off to a daydream of him, in a pith helmet and beige jodhpurs, standing majestically in a jeep that kicked up the Martian dust behind it...

                                                                               ******

...And awoke to Loki sniffing your hair.

He was pressed all alongside you, snuggled up with an arm thrown over your waist. And he was sniffing your hair.

He must have noticed a change in your breathing or physical pliancy, because he withdrew his arm immediately.

“Ah.” he whispered. “The jig is up, as they say.”

You scooted quickly away from him.

“What the hell do you think you're doing?” you demanded.

“Forgive me.” he said, yawning. “You just seemed so peaceful. I thought it a shame to wake you.”

“Did you turn off my alarm?”

He had the grace to look mildly ashamed.

“That...might have happened.”

“And there was nothing you could do but try to cop a feel?”

“I prefer to think of it as a friendly cuddle.”

“Well don't! Don't think you can just do whatever you want with me!”

“I shan't, I promise. As your master, I promise, I will not again overstep the bounds of our agreement. As my servant, I ask your trust.”

“...Maybe tomorrow.”

Face burning fiercely, you exited the bed, and hurried for the door. Your clothing was on the other side of the bed-the other side of Loki. In the dark, he might or might not getting a good look at your underwear clad rear, depending on how well Asgardians could see in the dark, so you booked it out of his room, across the hall, and into yours before he could say anything.

You threw yourself onto your futon, huddled down in your nice new blankets, and shivered. Your trust? He asked for your trust? He asked you to leave everything you knew, your whole world, to walk the distant sands of Mars? Something you couldn't even safely do until the planet had been transformed? He dared to lure you into a false sense of security in his sweet-smelling bed, and then ask for your trust? How much of your life were you willing to give?

#betathetaandme

[xfandomwritingsx]

His Girl – Steve Rogers – Part 1

-gif source-

Description: You’ve always been Bucky’s girl. But Bucky’s not here anymore…

Warnings/Labels: Post Snap. Angst. Self-Hate. Pining. Daddy kink. Slightest briefest illusion to choking kink. No smut yet. A small hint of fluff if you squint.

Approx. Word Count: 7,000

A/N: This took on a mind of its own. I’m sorry. This was supposed to be a one-shot, but as it usually happens with me, I’ve written this part and am just at a standstill. So to boost my motivation, I’m posting what I’ve got. I hope you guys like it. There will be smut in the next part. Just as soon as I write it.

You hate how cliché it is. Really, you do. If you could stop it, you would. If you could stop the ache inside of you yearning for your best friend left in the galaxy and simply go back to the overwhelming sadness, the mourning for your lost boyfriend, you would do it in a heartbeat. Because at least the sadness felt right. It belonged. It was valid. 

The aching flame of desire that’s been building, growing steadily inside of you is not. It’s out of place in this world and it’s just wrong. It feels like betrayal and tastes like bitter poison with the potential to destroy you.  

It’s so damn clichéd to say he’s an addiction, but fuck it if you just can’t bring yourself to leave him behind. You tried once. You stopped answering his calls and his texts. You took a vacation away from everyone, but it felt like a torture just as bad as indulging in what you have to admit is much more than a crush. You’d been back in town less than twenty-four hours before he showed up at your apartment to greet you and just seeing him made you feel light and airy and you knew you were hopeless. So you stopped trying. 

The worst part about all of it? You know he feels the same way about you. For most, knowing the person you want to be with also wants to be with you would be a blessing. Instead, it’s a cruel twist of the knife in the back of the man you love. 

Loved? 

No. Love. Loves. There are some days you need to remind yourself. Bucky is gone, but your love is not, cannot, and will not be gone. Which is why the way Steve’s watching you from across the table sends both a blush to your cheeks and drop kick to your gut.  

He’s different now, hardened over the last three years since the snap. Maybe that’s why it’s only now that you’ve drawn such an attraction to him. He had been too soft for you before, too morally white and good. He’d slipped into the role of supportive friend and colleague so easily that there was no room for anything else. And when you grew close to and eventually fell head over heels for Bucky? Any chance of a spark was stomped out. With that Steve at least. But this one? This Steve opened a new door that you aren’t sure can be shut. This Steve is rough around the edges and takes what he wants. This Steve is watching you instead of the holographic conference call you’re on, propping his elbow on his armrest, two fingers resting on his cheek while he gently bites down on the tip of his ring finger and his pinky plays along his bottom lip, all with an absolutely sinful look in his eyes. 

Old Steve never would have done that. 

You struggle to listen to what everyone else is saying. The meeting is boring to say the least, a bi-weekly check in that didn’t really need to be done but everyone participated in our of habit. It’s just you and Steve physically in the room since Natasha had left earlier in the day to travel to a nearby town that needed aid. You wonder briefly if the rest of your colleagues notice the way he’s looking at you or the way you shift in your seat across the wide spacing circular table, but you don’t really care. You realize you’re biting your lower lip and his eyes are drawn to where your teeth sink in gently.  

Someone calls your name with the tone of having already called it at least twice and you snap your eyes back up to the blue holograms in front of you. Carol is raising a single eyebrow at you and Rhodey is wearing the smallest smirk. You push down the embarrassment and sit further up in your chair, straightening your back and forcing yourself not to look at Steve who you know is chuckling at your lack of composure.  

“Nothing new to report here,” you say after clearing your throat. “Nat’s on her way now to help some cleanup efforts and nothing major has come up recently. Afraid to say it, but things might actually, finally be cooling down.” You chance a look across the table and Steve has his own eyebrow raised in a much less annoyed way than Carol had. His is teasing, suggestive. Things may have been cooling down for the rest of the world, but boy is it getting hot in this room. 

Fucking clichés again. It sounded ridiculous even in your own cloudy head.  

The call ends quickly after that. One by one all of their images dissolve in front of you and you’re left with no one else to look at except Steve. He removes his hand from his face, thank god, and folds them both into his lap as he casually leans back. 

“Plans this afternoon?” he inquires. You mirror his posture, leaning back in your own chair. 

“I should do those reports,” you groan, letting your head flop backwards onto the edge of the chair’s back. You hear him chuckle lightly before he responds in an apologetic way. 

“You know no one reads them anyways.” You snap your head back to squint your eyes at him. 

“You used to be all about paperwork, you know. What happened to organization keeps us going like a well-oiled machine or whatever it was you spewed at us?” you tease. He cracks a smile. 

“Less people makes keeping up with briefings a lot simpler.” There’s a bitter sadness behind the look on bright side undertone to his words and it threatens to ruin the mood. You tilt your head lazily and push past it.  

“Did you have something else in mind?” You don’t really have many plans today. The place could use a cleaning, but that’s not exactly high up on your want-to-do list. He shrugs and locks your eyes. 

“We haven’t sparred together for a while.” The suggestion sends a cold chill down your spine, a twist in your gut, and a tingling warmth between your legs, all of which leaves you feeling like you might float up out of your seat. He watches you carefully, just like always. Looking and waiting for the rejection, the polite decline on his invite.  

“I’ll meet you in the gym in ten?” You’ve never said no. Like the cliché goes; it’s a fucking addiction.  

Sparring has become your dirty little secret. You’d done it before, sure. But back then it was strict and with purpose and Old Steve corrected your form with precision. Now you only did it when you were alone and it was a whole different game. 

It starts friendly, a light warmup and practice drills both of you could do in your sleep by now. Some friendly banter. A couple of unexpected moves to throw the other off balance. His corrections no longer have that precision they once had. Instead his hands linger on you and he presses a little closer. Your focus has now shifted from besting the great Captain America to instead figuring out if you can get him to pin you down in a way that isn’t completely obvious.  

There’s times it’s slow and drawn out, a lot of dancing around and eyeing each other before a takedown. Other times it’s hard and fast with barely any warning before one of you is on top of the other. Sometimes it gets rough; a shove into a wall or a takedown that knocks your breath out completely. It was rough a lot the first year after The Snap. Neither of you ever willing to admit you needed the pain to fee alive. You’ve moved past that now and the roughness is for the sheer pleasure of it all. 

And then occasionally, when you haven’t been around each other enough and there’s something pent up inside both of you, it gets dirty; innuendos whispered against the shell of an ear, his leg between yours and a slight grind of his hips when he has you against the wall, an accidental slip of your hand up the inside of his thigh. The dirty was rare and taboo, but you couldn’t help but want it more often than you got it. 

No matter the type, at the end of it, you’re always breathing heavily and worn out, a mixture of aching to do it again and feeling completely satisfied coursing through you. You don’t like admitting it’s your version of sex, but it is. And the only reason you’re not slipping your hand into your panties every night after you do it is because you’re just too damn tired. Besides, you do that plenty of other nights. But that, and the overwhelming self-hate that comes with it, is a different story. 

You make quick work of changing into the black leggings, sports bra, and simple tank top you’ve made a habit of keeping in your room at The Haven. The place is your second home and there are some weeks you’re here more than you are your apartment, but you’ve thinned out the wardrobe you keep in an effort to keep yourself from lingering too long. As empty as it has become, the whole building holds an air of depression that’s seeped right into the grey walls. It’s also why you all stopped calling it The Compound and renamed it The Haven. It was a nice attempt to bring a warm feeling back to the place, even if it didn’t always work. 

You’re almost out of your bedroom door when you see the red sweater, his red sweater, resting on the chair in the corner. It gives you pause and that punch of guilt comes crashing over you in a wave. Leaving him in your room to go fuck his best friend.  

Stop.  

It’s not what you’re doing. He’s not in your room. He’s gone. Gone. And you’re not fucking anyone. 

You slip backwards out the door and watch that sweater until it’s just a sliver between the door and the frame. And then it’s gone, trapped behind a heavy wood door to stop taunting you. You breathe a weighted sigh and pry your hand from the door handle. Steve is waiting for you. 

--- 

“Feisty today, aren’t you?” he hisses after your elbow in his ribs puts some space between you. You’ve been at it for a little over twenty minutes. 

“Can’t handle me?” You swipe your arm over your forehead to slick away sweat. “You’re getting slow, old man.”  

“Age jokes?” There’s a smirk on his lips that should have warned you that he was about to make a move, but you’re completely unprepared. “What’s next?” he grunts as he manipulates you to twist your arm behind your back and presses his chest to your shoulder blades. His other hand ghosts around your neck, never doing more than cradling it in his palm. “You gonna start calling me Daddy?”   

Your sharp gasp is audible and there’s not a chance in the entire galaxy that he didn’t feel the way you shuddered and melted back against him. There’s a small chuckle against your hair just behind your ear that confirms it.  

Did he know? Had Bucky told him about your little secret kink that was rarely indulged upon? Fuck. Did he know all of your kinks? How much did they share with each other? Best friends. 

“Yield?” His voice is clearer, hands already loosening around you in preparation of letting you go. You recognize the tone. Something triggered his own guilt, prompting him to step back. You can let him go or you can keep him close, continue your game and push the boundaries. You want to so badly.  

You hesitate and breath catches in your throat as you fight internally with yourself before finally whispering, “Yield,” back to him. He’s gone in an instant, cold air filling the empty space behind you and you instantly regret it.  

There is no right answer. 

--- 

You have a reoccurring dream that’s somewhere between ecstasy and terror. You’re sharing a bed with Steve, in your childhood bedroom for a reason you can never figure out. It’s dark in the room and he’s pressed up behind you, a large hand over your hip and a clear hardness rubbing against your ass. Neither of you speak, but you push back into him, aching to feel that hardness between your legs.  

You grind against each other, soft moans the only sounds you hear. Then it’s not enough and that ache becomes too strong. Clothes are gone, dissolved off your bodies like they were never there as he scoops his arm behind your knees, bringing them to your chest as he sits up. He keeps you on your side as he gets to his knees, one hand on your ass, the other keeping your legs together and towards your chest. He lines himself up and your body is begging him to push inside of you. You bite down on your lip so hard, you swear you could feel the pain of it in the morning when you wake. All you want is for him to press his hips forward and put his dick inside of you. 

He obliges, but slowly. He eases in, just an inch at a time, slowing spreading you open for him and pleasure coursing through you. You moan and grip your pillow tighter. He feels only barely inside of you when there’s a sound outside the door, footsteps of someone coming closer.  

You hope and plead that they won’t enter, but they do. Steve bunches the comforter around his waist, shielding you from the unwanted eyes of the intruder, but stays inside of you. You want the person to go away, want Steve to push all the way inside of you, to fuck you like you’ve been craving, but it doesn’t happen. Steve withdraws and in a fit of anger about the feeling of emptiness between your legs, you sit up and are faced with the betrayal in Bucky’s eyes as he stands at the foot of your bed. 

You don’t remember much after that. Sometimes there is more, but when you wake you can never quite piece together the blurry memories. Sometimes you just wake up right there, unsure if you’re left horny or distraught; your constant inner turmoil. Usually, you kick the covers off yourself to cool your sweaty body and bury your face into your pillow, willing yourself back to sleep. 

--- 

You still remember the first time you realized how you felt about Steve. It happened unexpectedly and very suddenly. You’d both been in the study of what once was the Avengers Tower, but now was more of an empty, cursed castle. It was only eight months after The Snap. It didn’t feel like that long. As you both sat there in silence, a record playing softly to fill the void, you looked down into your newly empty glass and just felt defeated.  

A song started and from the very first bar, you recognized it. It was the slow, entrancing voice of Doris Day singing a song that had become very, very dear to your heart. Tears welled up, but you pushed them away with the back of your hand. 

“He used to say that if we ever got married, this was the song he wanted to dance to,” you told Steve, voice surprisingly clear for how you were feeling. He looked up from his own drink. You knew the alcohol didn’t have the same effect on his body as it did you and you weren’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing for him right then. He looked at you apologetically and nodded. 

“I know a thing or two about being owed a dance you’ll never get.” It may not be the same exact situation, but he understood how you felt, how just a song could send you down a path in your mind that hurt so badly. He waited for a moment before downing the rest of his glass and standing up. He walked over to the record player and with a delicate ease, started the song over. Walking over to where you sat with a confused, sad look, he held out his hand. “I’m not Bucky, but I’m not too bad of a dancer.” You couldn’t help but smile at him and his attempt to ease the sorrow.  

“Well I’m not Peggy,” you said, slipping your hand into his. He gave a gentle pull to bring you to your feet. “And I will probably step on your toes,” you joke. It brought a smile to his face wider than you’d seen in a long time and it made you feel truly happy that you’d been the one to put it there. 

The song itself is only about a minute and a half long so he made quick work of placing his hand politely at your hip and holding your hand out to the side, swooping you into a small, slow step. He led with a grace you didn’t quite expect and it was easy to follow him, to get lost in the sway of the simple piano in the song.  

You found yourself leaning in closer, turning your head and pressed your cheek to his shoulder, eyes closed and face practically buried into the comfort of his neck. He laid his head carefully against yours and you suspect he also had closed his eyes to lose himself. You expected yourself to think of nothing but Bucky, to be imagining it was his arms you were in. Instead, you melted into Steve and the only thing you could think of, was how safe you were in his arms.  

You’d leaned heavily on each other in those first few months. Tears, hugs, shoulder bumps, squeezing hands, grounding looks from across the room. Anything and everything to keep your heads above water. He’d always been one of your best friends since the moment he came into your life and now you feared he may have actually been the last person on the planet that you could trust with everything you had.  

As the song faded down, you pulled away from him just enough to look him in the eyes and that’s when it hit you. Like a ton of bricks, as they say. Something came over you and you just wanted to pull him down and kiss him. There was a look you couldn’t quite place in his eyes. They were soft, an internal conflict reflected in them as he glanced down to your lips in a slow blink. His hand closed around yours, a palpable change from the gentlemanly way he had cradled it through the dance. His lips parted a fraction and your stomach started twisting in an anxious sort of pleasure.  

But then a new song came on, something more upbeat and the spell was broken. You both backed away from each other and you thanked him for the dance. You chocked it up to grief and craving safety and familiarity in such desolate and chaotic times. You expected it to fade, to wither away and never come back. 

But all it did was grow. 

--- 

You’re sitting in the main office with Steve, work long since forgotten. You’re sitting at what has officially become Nat’s desk, but with her gone on another will-be dead end hunt for Clint, you’ve made yourself comfortable in her chair. Steve sits across from you and though he won’t say it, he’s relieved he’s not in charge anymore. He’s content on the other side of the desk, riding out the storm instead of trying to tame it. 

It’s gotten late, the room growing dark with patches of yellow light from the lamps gently placed around the room. Everyone had silently agreed the overhead lights were too harsh for nighttime. They were too white. Too happy. Too fake. A soft, warming color from the lamps fit the air of night much better. It also helps to shadow your face after you swallow the rest of your drink. Your hair, growing a little longer than usual, provides a curtain that helps to give you courage for the question burning at the tip of your tongue. There’s been flirtations passed between you and the way his eyes roam over your body as you lean back only encourages you. 

“So be honest,” You don’t look at him as you ask, but instead at the empty glass you place on the desk. “Did he tell you?” When he responds with silence, you look up through your lashes to see a genuine look of confusion. You sigh, not wanting to elaborate. “The… daddy thing.” You cringe saying it. It’s been at least a month since Steve said it, but it still lingers in your mind all the time. His look of confusion lessens, but you can tell even more elaboration is still needed. “I don’t know how much guys share about that kind of stuff. I didn’t know if Bucky ever told you… about that.” Your foggy mind can’t find a tactful way to phrase Daddy Kink, but the look of realization dawns on his features. He licks his lips quickly before literally biting back a smile while he looks down. Your cheeks are absolutely burning in a blush right now. 

“Uhh,” he stutters and clears his throat. “He did not.” You let out an embarrassed groan and throw your face into your hands which draws a chuckle from him.  

“I thought for sure he had to have and you were screwing with me.” Your voice is muffled through your fingers, but still clear enough to understand. “Instead I just confess a kink for no reason.” Another groan from you and another chuckle from him. 

“Buck was a private guy. He didn’t share much about what went on behind closed doors.” Why did you open your mouth? Steve hadn’t brought it up. You could have continued your lives without him knowing and without tossing yourself into a pit of embarrassment.  

“I’m sorry,” you tell him, starting to melt your hands away from your face, but sinking down further into your chair. “You didn’t need to know that about me. I shouldn’t have said anything.” He’s still biting his lower lip, trying not to laugh at you and you’re not sure if you want to disintegrate or laugh along with him. 

“If it helps,” he starts, the sly smile on his lips tempting to turn into a seductive smirk. “Even though he didn’t tell me, it was pretty clear by the way you… reacted.” You can’t help it. It’s a tortured groan that comes out as you sink as low as you possibly can, butt sliding off the chair entirely, your lower back now supporting your weight. “Hey!” he calls to you, patting his palm against the wooden desk to cut through your groan. “It’s not that bad. Get back up here.” He’s still trying not to laugh. 

“Easy for you to say,” you mumble, but push yourself back up in your seat. “I need another drink.” You reach out to pour yourself another and Steve picks up his beer bottle. 

“You can just count it as another thing you and I have in common.” You stop pouring. He says it so simply, takes a swig of his beer so casually and yet there’s a glimmer in his eye that reflects the dirty place he sends your mind spiraling into.  

You thought he’d been teasing you, pushing your buttons. You never once thought it might be something he also liked. And if he didn’t know about your dirty little secret kink when he said it, had he said it for his own pleasure? Your stomach starts knotting inside of you and it’s getting uncomfortably warm. 

“That’s… good to know.” It’s not a good response, but your mind can’t come up with anything else. The tension between you is thick and light as a fucking marshmallow and you swear it tastes just as sweet. 

Neither of you speak for a time and neither of you look away. His eyes hold yours, dare you to make a move, to cross the line. You stare back, but barely seeing him as your mind runs wild imagining just how he would react if you called him Daddy and desperately trying to figure out how you can slip that into any future interactions.  

He can clearly see you’re daydreaming, but he still says nothing. He just watches as your eyes come and go, enjoying the way your tongue occasionally darts out to wet your lips and the flush that’s forming near your collarbone. You take a deep, slow breath to refocus yourself and calm your heart that you didn’t realize is pounding in your chest. 

He rests his fist under his chin, turns it so he can run his pinky finger over his bottom lip, making you wonder just how soft his lips would be and how roughly he’d press them to you. He looks as though he’s about to say something, but you’ll never know what because the buzzing of his phone vibrating on the desk breaks the spell. He looks at it and then regretfully back at you. 

“I have to take this,” he admits. You wave your hand and shake your head a little too wildly. 

“Go, go!” He swipes the phone from the desk and has it to his ear before he’s out of his chair and leaving the room. Everything comes crashing back down on you and the lustful heat just feels like sticky sweat now.  

You swallow your drink in one gulp and retire to your room before he gets back. 

--- 

Your hands are buried in the dirt, trying to dig a hole deep enough for the damned blueberry bush, but every time you think you’ve found the right spot, you hit giant rocks. Who the hell decided giant rocks should litter the ground where you would unexpectedly be trying to plant things? Try to do some good in the world you told yourself. It’ll be fun you told yourself.  

“You better fucking grow after this ordeal,” you hiss at the bush. Although it wasn’t even a bush yet. It’s a stem and roots that’ll take over a year to produce berries. Stupid damn garden. 

You’d started it two years ago. There was a patch of land in back of your apartment building that was getting overgrown and you were at the point where you needed a project, something to do. Growing some vegetables and herbs and flowers seemed like a good idea. Get into the dirt with your hands and make something. Grow something. Share something. Of course, you had no idea what in the hell you were doing so it took over a year for you to produce a vegetable that was larger than your finger. It’s a pain in the ass and plants are finicky as fuck, but despite your moaning and complaining, it works. It feels good. 

“If you don’t grow, I’m going to rip you apart with my hands and then find a chipper to run you through,” you threaten as you pick it up to gently place it in its hole.  

“I thought gardening was supposed to be soothing,” Steve’s voice comes from behind you. “Kind of like yoga or something.” You turn your head to pass him a glare. 

“Maybe intimidating plants is soothing to me.” You turn back to your bush and fill the hole in with dirt before pushing up off your knees and standing. “What are you doing here?”  

“What? Can’t visit my friend?” he teases. You take off your gardening gloves, hot hands feeling a rush of cool when they hit fresh air. You toss the gloves into your bag of tools on the ground and cock your hip out. 

“You never come see me in the garden unless it’s important or unless you want more cucumbers,” you call him out. “And seeing as how you just got a batch of cucumbers from me, I don’t think that’s what you’re here for.” You bring your hand to your forehead to shade your eyes so you can stop squinting at the setting sun and see him a little better. He’s leaning his shoulder up against the brick wall of the building, his hands in the pockets of his jeans. 

“I’ve got to cancel this weekend,” he says with a hint of regret. You can feel yourself start to deflate a little. “There’s an older gentleman in the support group who needs an escort upstate. I won’t be back until late Sunday.” 

“You would abandon me for something noble,” you accuse in a teasing manner. Lowering your hand from your face, you take a few steps towards him.  

This weekend was your annual ice cream fest, as you affectionately called it. Once a year, you gather as much ice cream as you can both handle and devour it like children at a sleepover. It had originated from early on; a drunken night in which you needed consoling. Steve thought ice cream seemed the perfect thing to help you out and it kind of just stuck. It’s something you look forward to every year now. 

“When are you leaving?” you ask.  

“Tonight,” he says, confirming there’s no hope for salvaging the weekend.  

“Well, shit.” You manage to say it in a somewhat humorous tone, trying to make it clear you aren’t angry with him for canceling.  

“We can binge next weekend,” he offers quickly. A couple more steps and you find yourself next to him, leaning your back up against the same wall, using his shadow as a shield from the sun as the rough brick scratches into your shoulders. 

“I don’t know if that’s going to cut it, Rogers,” you tease. “My broken heart isn’t so easily mended.” He cracks a smile and leans in closer to you. 

“What ever can I do to make it up to you?” he inquires in jest. He slips his hands out of his pockets and pushes his shoulder off the wall, coming into your personal space. You make a show of biting your lip and him-hawing as you roll your eyes upwards to look at the sky in mock thought. “You tell me what you want and I’ll give it to you.” He’s using that tone suddenly; the dark and dirty one that threatens to undo you. He shifts so he’s in front of you, places each of his palms on the brick, one on each side of your waist. “Anything you want, babygirl.”  

Your eyes snap back to his and that lip bite you’ve been doing loses its falsity. Your pelvis inches off the wall, gravitating to him and causing you to actively pull it back. You’re so focused on your hips that you don’t catch your hand reaching out for him and taking hold of his sweater in the middle of his chest. You play it off with a laugh and unfurl your fingers free of the fabric, instead giving him a pat. 

“That’s just mean,” you chuckle. “Playing on a girl’s fantasy like that.” His lips tilt upwards and he leans ever so slightly into your touch when you don’t take it away immediately. 

“Well maybe one day we won’t be just playing with it.” You catch the look of longing in his eyes as your throat closes up and nearly chokes you on air. It’s taking everything you have not to melt into a fleshy puddle at his feet. You want to say yes, fucking beg him to make good on that, but you can barely breathe let alone speak. He reaches up with one hand and twists a small bundle of your stray hair around his fingers. “I miss you when I’m gone,” he says softly, the dirty tone gliding away and making way for something softer. 

“I miss you too.” Your voice is dry, a stark contrast to the way the skin on your throat is wet with sweat and heated with a blush. You swallow and try to speak a little more clearly, but he beats you to it. 

“We deserve to be happy too, you know.” It’s what he tells his support groups, the same line he’s been using for at least the last year and a half in order to help people move forward. And yet, it doesn’t sound rehearsed. You slip your hand from his chest up to his shoulder. 

“Do you really believe that?” There’s hesitation. A struggle. He sighs and it’s ragged. He twirls your hair a little more, distracted. 

“I’m trying to,” is his honest reply. It’s such an easy thing to tell other people, but to convince yourself when you were the ones fighting the battle, when you’re the ones who lost? The ones who got your best friends, your loved ones turned to ash? Not as easy to believe. “I want to believe it.” He leans down, rests his forehead on yours. “I’m ready to try at least.”  

It’s hard to focus. The setting sun is beating down on half your face, heating your skin and nearly blinding one of your eyes. The twirl of his fingers pulls so gently on your hair that it could practically lull you to sleep. At some point your hand had slipped up towards the back of his neck and you can feel the ends of the hair on the nape of his neck on your fingertips. Your hand itches to slide up over his head and pull him down to you. But when you close your eyes, you see Bucky’s disappointed face reflecting back to you. 

“Do you think he’d want us to be happy?” you whisper. Do you think he’d give his blessing for us to fuck? But no, that isn’t right. It’s more than that, isn’t it? It wouldn’t be a hookup. It wouldn’t be a one-time thing. It would be real. Is that supposed to make it better? There’s a long pause before he answers. 

“Does it really matter anymore?” A bitter and defeated chuckle follows his words. He’s tired. You can see it in his eyes. Tired of worrying about right and wrong. Tired of wanting and not having. Tired of not letting himself be happy. He’s so close and you want to give in, want to pull him down and press your lips to his and tell him to hell with everyone and everything. But you just can’t shake Bucky’s image from your mind. 

“Steve,” you pause, voice cracking. “I-” 

“I know,” he cuts you off gently and sighs pulling his head off of yours. He’s disappointed, but not surprised. “But if and when you’re ready, just know I’m here.” As he steps back, he lets his hand graze over your hip and it leaves a tingle in its wake. He leaves you with a smile and a promise to be back soon and it takes you quite a few minutes to get yourself off that brick wall and back to work. 

Tears silently fall down your face tonight, every molecule of you feeling torn. He’d broached the line, held out his hand and offered for you to go with him. If you’re honest, you never actually thought the day would come. Sure, you’d dreamed of it, yearned for it, but it was always so unreachable. And now he’d just… offered it to you. Yet he did it in such a way that you could ignore it. You could pretend it never happened and just stay as you are. The question is; do you want to? 

--- 

It’s weeks later and you’ve barely seen him. A mixture of work, personal responsibilities, and exhaustion making your schedules clash against each other. There’s been a couple phone calls, a few texts, and brief meetings with fellow teammates, but no one-on-one time appropriate to broach his proposal. 

It hasn’t stopped you from thinking about it, dreaming about it and then tearing yourself apart for doing so. Honestly though, your self-depreciation is starting to feel a little forced. There’s the smallest shift from feeling guilty for wanting Steve to feeling guilty for not feeling guilty. It still leaves the black hole in your stomach in the morning, but it’s different. 

You’re shuffling papers around in the office because, yes, paperwork does still matter, when Natasha comes in. You give her a smile as she sheds her jacket and comes to stand across from you, leaning her hands on the back of a chair. 

“Doing okay today?” she asks tentatively. You don’t even look up from the report you’re trying to read. 

“Yeah, but could someone teach Rocket some penmanship if he’s going to make notes on these?” It’s only partially a joke. You’re turning the paper in your hands and squinting your eyes trying to make sense of his chicken scratch. When you glance up, you expect to see a smile on her face, but there isn’t even a trace of one and her eyes are analyzing you. “Are you okay?” you question back. 

“Yeah,” There’s a look of subtle surprise on her face with a simple raise of her eyebrows as she straightens up and crosses her arms over her chest. “I guess I’m still just tiptoeing around some things. I thought today would be hard for you.” Your brow knits together. Today? Why would today be hard? Hell, what is today? It’s Wednesday. It’s summertime. It’s… Fuck. Your face drops. “You forgot, didn’t you?” It’s gentle and nonjudgmental. “That’s actually good,” she tries to reassure. “Moving on and whatnot.” 

You throw your face into your hands, dropping the reports on the table. You’re honestly not sure what you’re feeling. You forgot your anniversary. Your anniversary! You’d forgotten it plenty of times before and it wasn’t like it was your real anniversary either. You and Bucky had just picked a random date out of obligatory social construct after realizing you had no idea when you’d actually gotten together. After The Snap it hit you a little differently though with the last couple stinging you sharply and causing bad days. Not this year apparently.  

“I’m an awful girlfriend,” you groan through your palms.  

“Sweetie, I hate to break it to you,” Natasha offers softly, but with a small sense of humor hidden in her voice. “You’re not his girlfriend anymore.” 

You take a deep breath and it shakes. When you squeeze your eyes shut behind your hands, you can feel tears make their way through you. You use the heels of your palms to rub them away. She watches it hit you; the emotions, the guilt, the tearing apart and she walks around the table to put her hand on your shoulder. It’s a small touch but it’s friendly and grounding and it makes you feel more comfortable. 

“Maybe it’s time to let him go. Let them all go,” she suggests. “It’s been more than three years now.” Some days it doesn’t feel like it’s been that long. You bring your hands back to the papers on the table and pretend to watch them. “No one would blame you for moving on.” She gives your shoulder a squeeze before shifting away and leaning her lower back onto the table edge next to you. There’s a brief hesitation before she speaks again. “No one would judge you for who you moved on to either.” You look up sharply at her and she averts her eyes to the floor.  

“Are you implying something?” you sound a little angrier than you are. No one’s ever acknowledged this thing between you and Steve before, so the instinctive defense kicks in.  

“Look, it’s not like you two are subtle with the constant flirting.” She’s doing that thing she does where she’s giving you the answers straight, but her voice is soft. It works to help dissolve the anger. “Hell, there’s a bet going around on when you’ll finally hook up.” You’re not sure if you’re more embarrassed or humored by that piece of information. 

“Where’s Rocket’s bet at?” you ask, deciding to go with the humor. “I can’t let that little bastard win.” Natasha cracks a smile at you. 

“He’s running the betting pool so he actually wins it all if you don’t hook up.” She chuckles as you groan and lean back in your chair. 

“Well shit,” you say. “I guess I have to sleep with Steve now.” You both take a moment to laugh at the notion, letting any remaining tension about the conversation float away. When the smiles and the laughs settle, you give a small sigh. “I just feel like the worst person in the world,” you admit. “What kind of woman falls for the supposed love of her life’s best friend?”  

“There are worse things that a woman could do. Trust me.” Her words are true, but don’t do much to dull your pain. “It’s not fair to hold yourself to past commitments. We’ve gone through an unprecedented event. There’s not a rule book on what’s right and wrong here.” You peek up at her with a tilt of your head. 

“You sound like Steve at his support groups.” She squints her eyes and then cringes, bringing her shoulders up to her ears. 

“Oh god, I do, don’t I?” You both laugh again. “Alright, take out all the sentimental therapy bullshit,” she retracts with a smile as she drops her arms and pushes herself away from the table. “Just let yourself be happy.” She walks back around the table to grab her jacket off the chair. “Besides,” she adds before leaving. “Can’t let that raccoon win.” 

#Steve Rogers #steve rogers imagine #marvel #marvel imagine

[highqueenofelfhame]

acowar reread thread

so i think i’ll update this post every few chapters unless anything super major happens that i want to immediately react to, that way you get my commentary but i’m not totally flooding and flooding and flooding your feed with a super super long post. i think i’m going to edit it under the cut and reblog it every time it gets updated and i’ll also number every update so it’s easy to find where i left off. if you guys prefer the other way i’ll transition back to the other way for acofas.) this is super fun i’ll start doing this for more books if you’re interested, including books i read for the first time. (after acofas, crescent city is next and it’ll be my first time reading it!)

UPDATES UNDER THE CUT.

1) chapters 1-5 I’ve read up through chapter five and so far my favorite thing is just how DONE feyre is with literally everyone in the spring court. the amount of times she’s had to like look away and not roll her eyes is just hilarious, her dry inner monologue, she just made a comment about having to remind herself to laugh and not strangle tamlin while they were dancing at the summer solstice and it just is so funny to me. 

i miss rhys. but the few times they’ve spoken through the bond is enough to tide me over. he told her he loved her once and i sighed out loud. i’m such trash for this bitch. 

feyre hijacking the summer solstice ceremony is COMEDIC GOLD. like you kNOW ianthe was fuming and furious and trying to save face the best she could but like hats off to feyre man. her character development from book one to where we’re at in book three is fantastic. she’s not a simpering little girl anymore, she’s a bad bitch and she kNOWS she’s a bad bitch and it’s just.. fucking great. 

i also, as much as i don’t want to, feel for lucien A LOT. i think a lot of his behavior is heavily influenced by how he’s been treated by tamlin for most of his life and i feel genuine remorse from him and the fact that he can like tell something is up but isn’t saying anything just shows, to me anyway, how much remorse he’s genuinely feeling. 

also alis knowing that something is up is just a testament to how attentive she is as a faerie and a friend and i really love that about her.

“I was the nightmare” YAS BITCH. FUCKIN YAASSS.

2) chapters 6-10 feyre is so goddamn clever. the entire time she’s bringing down the spring court she’s witty and fierce and clever and really just iS THAT BITCH, HUH? 

i don’t like jurian but the fact that he still has compassion within himself for his kind despite being literally insane for being just AWAKE and aware for like 500 years is... nice and pleasantly surprising because i feel like you wouldn’t think that of him being that he’s siding with hybern so that he thanked feyre when she tried to get the children of the blessed out of there... i don’t know why i’m bringing this up, it’s just something that stuck out to me and that jurian also vouches (to feyre) about rhysand’s character and how decent of a person he found him to be. it’s just very interesting and i feel like speaks leaps and bounds about rhysand as a person. 

feyre pushing tamlin to explode again... just CHEF KISS. like she really thought of everything. she thought of everything to internally make his sentries doubt him and then completely hate them by orchestrating the ianthe vs sentry debacle. she made herself seem very compassionate and kind and and showed tamlin and ianthe for what they were by doing genuinely so little. like all she did was make them show their true colors on their own and it didn’t take tOO much manipulation. idk feyre is just incredible in the spring court. 

forcing ianthe to hurt herself and molding her mind to make her think she’s always afraid is so much better than just outright killing her.. (if i remember from my last read, it doesn’t hold up, but the thought is there and it’s genius) I also think that this shows a lot about feyre and her character because despite everything she couldn’t just leave lucien alone with ianthe and the unwanted advances. she stayed and fought for her friend (and by extension her mate) even when lucien wouldn’t really fight for her and so feyre is just a fuckin real one like... she’s the kind of friend that you want in your corner. 

killing the hybern twins: glorious. such badassery from lucien and feyre both. 

and i think it’s nice that she let lucien come along with her on her journey back to the night court despite maybe not wanting to but i also think that she knew if she left him behind he could get in serious trouble or wind up dead and so again, i think it says a lot about her character as a person. 

3) chapters 11-15 i’m kind of reading and recapping every 50 pages or so which typically ends up being 4-5 chapters and it’s a good system so far so we’re gonna keep it up! 

the first thing of like, real substance to comment on is lucien saying his father will kill feyre for wielding his power but feyre just responding with “he can get in line.” like her sass is sO GOOD In this book, especially in the spring court chapters.

uhhh big fuck you to eris, i don’t know why people want him to have a redemption arc, he is literally a fat sack of shit that deserves to burn and i’m not sorry for saying so. he’s abusive and cruel and doesn’t deserve like, anything at all. although i will say good on him for balking a bit when feyre revealed she’s high lady. 

CASSIAN AND AZRIEL SUPERHERO LANDING ON THE ICE AND KICKING ASS!! I remember vividly the relief i felt when cassian showed up and was able to fly and i still felt so much victory when it happened again. it’s one of my favorite moments of the book so far and just really gets me. also feyre just dropping the “I’m high lady of the night court” bomb is DELICIOUS and i can’t get enough. i read it like six times. because you know as soon as the illyrians yielded to her that the autumn bitches were like “shit.”

“My love.” kILLS ME. you guys, i’ve only read this book once but i’ve reread their reuniting multiple times because it’s just so soft. rhys is so goddamn soft. he loves her so fucking much. i want rhys to call me my love and lick my tears away. goddamn. 

something i think about a lot is how in acotar when tamlin had feyre alone after months of torture he just tried to fuck her despite knowing things weren’t safe. however, knowing she was home and safe, rhys didn’t try for that immediately. like yes, they kissed, but there was so much conversation before they fucked that it just, says a lot about their relationship. tamlin also always demanded to know everything about feyre’s visits as soon as she was back, not even bothering to kiss her hello but rhys was like ‘that shit can wait’ AND THEY’RE ABOUT TO GO TO WAR. rhys loves her so wholly that he wanted to make sure she was okay before he ever bothered to ask about the spring court and how everything unfolded the last few weeks. idk i’m trash for rhysand, y’all. let’s make that a shirt.

the way that rhys threatens lucien, “i won’t bother to explain it again, and i will rip out your fucking throat.” is so sexy. like how casual it was, so sexy.#ripmythroatoutrhysand

amren being a bedtime story but irl is just a cranky aunt lmao.

nesta’s ferocity is, yes, frustrating, but also so heartbreaking to me. for a very long time i had a really rough relationship with my sister and i can see my own sister in nesta (who, by the way, would murder me if she found out i said this so, kara, if u see this, i love u endlessly and i love nesta with my whole heart) especially nesta’s behavior more so in acofas which i’ll talk more about when we get there. but i just, i feel for her man. she’s been traumatized and life as she knows it has been ripped away from her and some people respond to trauma with bite. and i know it doesn’t make it right or okay but it still just makes me feel for her.

cassian and nesta’s banter just gODDAMMIT SLAYS ME. i cannot wait for an entire fucking book of this shit and an entire book of their back and forth. i think nesta loves him and doesn’t know what to do with it because she’s scared so she’s acting like a cornered animal. like nesta is a snake that will strike when cornered and threatened and i just god i can’t wait for their book. 

elain... broke my heart a lot more than i remembered. as someone in the midst of my worst depression i find myself able to relate to that hollow and empty feeling like...all too well and it struck a cord and i almost cried at how empty she was. 

4) chapters 16-29 there is the whole meeting at amren’s apartment and cassian defends nesta, saying that he understands her actions, her snark, why she is the way she is, and it just honestly reinforces my love for cassian. i don’t have much to say about it but that i just really love the respect that he has for others. more cassian things: feyre brings up again how even broken and literally bleeding out and on the ground with his wings completely shredded he was still crawling toward nesta and reaching for her and trying to get to her. “because i can’t stay away.” fucking cracks my heart open every time. 

i love everything about the first family dinner back together. i love all the banter, i love that nesta sat in and even contributed to dinner conversation a little bit. lucien being so uncertain of the dynamic is hilarious. amren like opening herself up in a way to nesta and telling her that they’re the same, and to make sure her eruption is felt across worlds, i love it. i’m marking a lot more from amren than i thought i would. cassian at one point, he points to az and says “don’t try to blend into the shadows” and it actually made me chuckle to myself because hE DOES THAT. and it’s funny that cassian calls him on it. 

i don’t think nesta gets enough credit (for like anything, we all been knew i’m a slut for her and stan her with my life) but even as broken and angry as she was she did still offer to help explore magic that she doesn’t want and got as a result of trauma so that she can try to help. she isn’t completely useless. and i like that she has backbone and isn’t just a pushover little bitch. (that isn’t directed toward elain. like i previously mentioned, i’m finding that i relate a lot to her in her current state.) i just mean that i’m glad she sticks up for herself and doesn’t just like, do what people tell her to do. ya know?

rhys being so open to feyre pushing back on him about things like, again man. tamlin erupted and got angry, rhys is like “hell, i deserved it.” just, the differences in their relationships and the toxicity that comes from tamlin and the devotion rhys has for feyre is (say it with me) DELICIOUS.

i also like that just because feyre is high lady that the IC doesn’t just like flop over and bend down and take shit (i’m looking at you, spring court.) like cassian isn’t afraid to be like “you pissed me off by sacrificing yourself.” because he cares. LIKE, AGAIN WITH HIS DEVOTION. his loyalty is just so pure. it isn’t blind but it is pure and i just, god i love it. 

also everyone forgets that azriel has a dry ass sense of humor and i don’t see any of y’all writing it into your fics. “In order to fly, you’ll need wings” he said drily. IT’S DELICIOUS. dry humor is some of the best. and i like that feyre is learning more and getting to spend more time with him. 

5) chapter 20-27 this one will be a bit of a dump because i accidentally read too much today so far to try to catch up from my lack of reading yesterday so... oops. 

“Let’s see what names you call me when my head is between your legs, Feyre darling.” ugh. i wish a mans would say that to me. not really. i wish rhys would say that to me and only rhys. maybe rowan. or aaron warner. or cassian. or -- you get it. 

amren is SO FUCKING FUNNY without doing it on purpose. like genuinely hilarious. “she’s fine. stubborn as an ass, but as you’re related, i’m not surprised.” rOAST THEM. also amren makes nesta almost smile and she makes her laugh all in the span of like ten seconds AND nesta almost smiles when amren brings up cassian. coincidencE? i tHINK NOT.

again with rhys soothing her nightmares. like god it’s so good i dont even have to say anything else abt it.

feyre realizing that the bone carver is her and rhysand’s son. SO GOOD. like SERIOUSLY SO GOOD. and this doesn’t matter at all rn but i think that rhysand’s son has the potential to be more powerful than even him but that’s a thing to get into for another time.

EVERYTHING THE BONE CARVER SAYS ABOUT NESTA. also that it’s directed at cassian is very interesting and i think the bone carver knows they’re mates. like i wonder if cassian is seeing what feyre sees: his own son. WOULDN’T THAT BE INTERESTING. “How she calls to you.” also the comment about “what did you wake that day in hybern, prince of bastards?” what did cassian wake. the wording here is interesting and i have... a lot of questions. does anyone else just also really fucking enjoy the bone carver as a character? like he’s excellent i’ve never read anything quite like him.

“nothing about nesta could frighten me” UGH MY NESSIAN HEART CAN’T FUCKING TAKE IT.

also cassian stepping it later when nesta is furious with rhysand about the flying. like, one when he sighs and says she’ll never fly again is just... funny and adorable but how nesta was charging for rhys and he casually stepped in front of her and he talked her down. “It was amren’s fault, of course, but no one believed me. and no on dare banish her.” like just babbling a bit to bring her back down to earth. absolutely fascinating and delicious that it worked, wouldn’t you agree? ;)

court of nightmares is always a pleasure. fuck eris. 

also later at the town house when amren and mor and rhys are kinda going at it a bit and cassian gets nesta’s attention and nesta sidles over to him without questioning it... like. god if they aren’t endgame i’ll never read an SJM book ever again and i wholeheartedly mean that.

so i’ve seen the posts about amren being an angel i’m not sure if you guys have but yeah i think that’s a really solid theory. i think she very well could be a biblical angel because she mentioned that according to some they were perfect, that they laid waste to twin cities (sodom & gamorrah if this theory is correct) and she also mentioned yielding her grace and that she would fall. she also says she was a messenger and soldier assassin for a wrathful god ruling a young world and all of that, in my opinion, lines up with a lot of what is in the bible and what christians believe to be true. so i really really like this theory, i doubt it will ever be outright confirmed, but i think this is going to be my canon tbh. 

elain is.... out of her mind. it’s fucking weird everything she says is so cryptic and odd. like it’s just weird. i don’t think she’s insane and i can’t remember exactly where elain’s storyline goes in this book but like... rn it’s just weird and cryptic and a little unsettling and also interesting that she only really responds directly to azriel because everyone else she kinda ignores but she talks to him. interesting. 

6) chapters 28-49 clearly i accidentally read A LOT so we have a lOT Of ground to cover. 

NESTA WAS TOTALLY CHECKING CASSIAN OUT AND THAT’S ALL I HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THAT.

azriel has fucking jokes, man. page 303 (hardcover us edition)  “That pine tree wasn’t there a moment ago.” “Judging by its size, i’d say it’s been there for ... two hundred years at least.” feyre even notes that he has a dry sense of humor and it comes out more when they’re alone. i can’t get enough of it. i wish he talked more. 

“Cassian finished the muffin, licking his fingers. I could have sworn nesta watched the entire thing with a sidelong glance. He grinned at her as if he knew it too.” i just love nessian so much i’m going to point out all of their cute reactions this is turning more into a nessian reaction thread SUE ME.

I think that nesta has a lot of regret and guilt over her life.over how she treated feyre because it comes out when nesta brings up to feyre that she didn’t know she couldn’t read (and again at the high lords meeting when she says they would have starved if it wasn’t for her.) i think she feels deeply and just doesn’t know what to do with it, doesn’t know how to express it. 

When they almost get taken in the library, and cassian gets there and nesta “launches herself at him.” my heart. she was scared and she didn’t care she was just so relieved. like fuck me up that’s the shit i like.

nesta asking where cassian is the moment they get back from the battle in adriata and she was worried and scared for him. later when she does see him i think this is when the mating bond clicks into place. it’s page 398 and she says “You didn’t come to -” and then cuts herself off. they have a really fucking intense moment. cassian takes her hand and laces their fingers and they don’t really say anything for a beat until he says “Next time, emissary, i’ll come say hello.” but his voice is low and rough when he says it. “The world seemed to go utterly still at that interrupted sentence, nothing and no one more so than cassian.” i think this is when it clicks for him. maybe not for nesta but definitely for cassian. 

RHYSAND RIPPING TAMLIN’S ABILITY TO SPEAK AWAY LIKE YES WE STAN A MOTHERFUCKING KING. fuck tamlin. fuck eris. and fuck beron. also nesta defending cassian in the high lords meeting (page 438, because beron calls him a bastard.) again, i’m just saying, she’s defending her fucking mate i can’t deal. feyre also exploding in the meeting and rhys just being like “You’ve proved your point, my love.” SO DELICIOUS. “I made her high lady because i love her. her power was the last thing i considered.” like fucking hELL that is how you treat your woman.

after the meeting, helion being like “You handing eris’s ass to him will be my new fantasy at night, by the way.” DELICIOUS. fucking hilarious. 10/10 recommend helion as a high lord and a mans we love to see it. 

also cassian being so concerned when nesta starts to have that feeling about the cauldron being used before the wall gets shattered.he didn’t doubt her feelings for a second, i mean no one did, but he was completely unyielding when he sensed her fear and immediately looked for any sign of an immediate threat.

nesta saying she’s never worn pants and cassian saying “i have no doubt you’d start a riot if you did.” he’s thinking bout that ass. also cassian giving her a quick lesson in defense before they yeet off to the human lands to see graysen and his family. IDK I REALLY LOVE NESSIAN OKAY?!

7) chapter 50-the end. i accidentally finished the book. oops. 

super intersted in nesta’s powers and if she is a witch. i can’t remember acofas at all and if nesta’s powers manifest in that book but i’m eager to see if the fracturing of the cauldron didn’t effect whatever powers she took from it. i think that could also be part of what ultimately is wrong with her on top of all the trauma. 

nesta helping cassian after that first battle when his wrist is hurt. she didn’t take no for an answer and helped him and it was just really soft until mor showed up and cassian pulled his hand away. i’m conflicted about what it means to be totally honest. what it means for his feelings for nesta and what it means where mor is concerned. i don’t love how morrigan treats nesta and cassian’s... relationship? but i don’t dislike mor. i think she’s dealing and coping and has her reasons that we will likely find out about. 

“Only you can decide what breaks you” is something i’d like to get tattooed. i dont really have anything else to add to it. 

i was sobbing during rhys’s battle speech to everyone. i dont rlly have anything else to say about it other than i’m emo. 

nesta saving cassian. again i don’t have shit to say about it other than like it makes me so emotional.  she just started blinding screaming, hoping that he would come. i can’t even begin to think what his death would have done to her.

the bone carver smiling at feyre before he did hits a very specific piece of my heart and i’m not sure why or what but i had chills all over my body. 

cassian telling rhys to let him return the favor/repay the debt. HURT. another thing i cried over. like shut the fuck cassian AIN’T NOBODY DYIN TODAY. 

tHE Nessian moment to end all nessian moments when they would die together. like big fucking wow. you can’t tell me they’re not mates. that they don’t love each other despite how complicated all of it is. like cassian is so soft in the most unique way for her because he knows she bites and he lets her and he bites back and i just think it’s what he needs.

“tell the high lord to leave out a cup for me” AMREN SHUT UP. like fucking christ i teared up then too because i really really love her character. she’s unique and funny and dry and cranky and i just love her so much. 

i’m tired of rhys sacrificing himself. there, i said it. i cried like a fucking baby and of course he woke up being a snarky little shit.

i love the end of this book. i don’t know what i’ll do with myself until january when the next one comes out. i’ll probably go back to the other format for my next read through because it’s easier and less longwinded and i think you guys liked the other way better. anywho, thank you for coming along on this lil journey!!

#acowar #acowar reread #acotar #acomaf

[shnuggletea]

Cell Mates

Idk what’s better, new post or reblog with the new chapter but the latter seems too much. Anyway here’s chapter three as promised.

Chapter Three

In any other situation, the guy would be attractive. Black hair long and slicked back was held at the nape of his neck with a hair tie. He was thin but toned, and his eyes sparkled as he looked down at her. 

Problem was, he wasn’t just looking down at her, he was looming over her with malicious intent on his face. And his eyes were literally sparkling because sparks of electricity were dancing in them. His pretty face was twisted with a smile he had to have borrowed from the devil himself. Because who else could pull off that much evil and still look beautiful?

Her lungs burned from lack of oxygen but she couldn’t make herself breathe. Every molecule was frozen in fear. And her head ached from hitting the bars and the continued pulling her strands were getting.

“What do you think, Brother? A bloody carcass left on the bed would send a nice message don’t you think?”

The one over her spoke, his voice was just as lovely as his face. If he wasn’t downright terrifying. It was hard for her to see the attractiveness of him. Ever since he had sat down next to her, all she could see was his ugly insides. How many here were like that? Beautiful but too twisted for her to feel anything but disgust? It was a curse of hers and yet she used it daily all her life. Seeing the inner soul of someone else kept you out of a lot of trouble. Didn’t mean those with pretty insides didn’t do ugly things too.

“Mmmmmm can’t we just...eat her?”

Twisting against the pain, Kagome looked through the bars. It looked like a shark and a human had a baby and it wasn’t pretty. His head was long and oblong shaped, his nose a pointed tip. But he shared the other guy’s ugly soul, electricity dancing in his eyes too.

Other than the claim the man over her made and the shared electricity, she never would have known the two were related. Keeping her eyes on the one before her, the long nails on his fingers grew longer, turning into claws with dangerously sharp tips. The one that held her hair was licking his lips so loud, it was almost comical. Except he was talking about swallowing her whole.

“No, if we eat her, Inuyasha won’t see it. He won’t know and won’t feel the loss.”

Swallowing the thick lump in her throat, she begged her words to come out of hiding. “He won’t...care...he hates me.”

The two shared a glance and a laugh. Big ugly snorted behind her. “His humanity will care.” She could feel him get closer, his breath dancing on her skull. “Pretty little girl like you will be missed by someone regardless. Poor little White couldn’t handle the hell hole she was tossed into.”

“What does...being White have to do with it?”

They laughed again. She was hilarious. Maybe if she survived, she’d do stand up? “It has everything to do with it.” The one over her paused, a sneer going up to his hairline. “Wait...you don’t know what it means, do you??”

Behind her, the strange one laughed but it sounded like Snarf from ThunderCats. “Isn’t it obvious??”

“Whatever. Doesn’t matter now, does it?” The one above her gloated.

Leaning in, the distance evaporated and she could feel the heat of his breath on the top of her head. “Come on, Brother. At least let me eat a little? Her arm? A leg?”

A squeak escaped even though she was trying like hell to contain herself. But what point was there? She was going to die a painful death and her family would never know what happened to her. If they knew where she was and what happened, they would have come for her by now. No, she was going to be an unmarked grave somewhere behind this place while her Mother, Grandfather, and brother Sota were told some tale about a plane crash. At least her body would match.

As a doctor, there were a lot of things she heard, especially when doing her rotation as a first responder. One of those things was the sound of two bodies colliding. It was like thunder though, so loud it echoed off the empty cell walls. At first, she assumed it was the Brute hitting her body and she was in shock. That’s why she felt nothing, not even the pressure on her skull.

But it wasn’t that, she’d been released. 

The man over her was standing, a foot still on either side of her hips that she was sure could crush her bones if he really desired. And he wasn’t looking at her anymore. Instead, he was looking behind her and she turned to join the staring contest. 

There, in the hall, were two demons going all out. It was a swirl of orange, black, red, and white. A snarl broke free every now and then as well the sound of flesh getting punched or torn. After a few heart-pounding and brain-numbing moments, the two stopped and she was sure she was either passed out or dead. Because no way in hell was Inuyasha holding one of the demons that threatened her up off the ground right now.

What was he doing here? He’d made it clear, he wanted nothing to do with her! But it was hard to fight with her vision at the moment. Especially with the blood that was dripping to the floor from both of them. The one that looked far from human and had wanted to eat her was bleeding a lot more though.

“Let him go you mother fucking Hanyou!!” The one over her snarled.

“Get the FUCK out of my cell!!”

Inuyasha’s eyes were scary, blood red and dangerous as he locked them on the man over her. Careful and slow, he removed himself from his vigil over her and left the cell. True to his word, Inuyasha released his Brother….by tossing him. The two collided hard, the sound of bones breaking made her cringe. The humanoid one got to his feet first, helping the other creep to as close to standing as he could get the hulking creature to, given their size difference. Even with all they had done, she still had to fight back the urge to go and tend to their wounds. It was ingrained in her and she took an oath. It also had her getting to her feet, stiff in a few places but otherwise fine and ready to go after her two attackers to offer some help.

She looked back to Inuyasha, who was there and gone in a flash. Off the floor and hanging in the air, Kagome found herself swinging off the cell floor, her feet dangling. It didn’t hurt, but Inuyasha still had claws perched over her skin as he held her up by her neck. And all other thoughts left her mind. Inuyasha’s ears were pressed back and he was demanding her attention as loudly as he could.

“Stick to the god damn schedule!!” Numbly, she nodded. “When we go to lunch, you FUCKING GO TO LUNCH!!” Not really sure, she continued to nod. Because Inuyasha’s eyes were still blood red. “What the hell were you doing in here alone anyway?!” He waited a beat for her to answer but when she opened her mouth, he stopped her by opening his instead. “You know what? I don’t care! Getting high, masturbating, do it in the damn yard during free time!”

He dropped her and she managed to keep upright. Tension rolled across his shoulders, turning and giving her his back. She could see it through the thin material of his uniform, muscles straining to be free. Kagome forced herself to remember the crazy eyes and the foul mouth he had instead of letting herself think about how freaking hot he was right now. 

“This is why…” he whispered, still not facing her, “why you and me cannot associate with each other. You can’t protect yourself and I refuse to...get you involved.”

Anger swelled in her and she knew, deep down, that it was just a bodily response to the near-death moment she just had. No way did she actually care what Inuyasha thought about her or how he’d rather her be torn apart than lift a finger for her. Even though he did far more than lift a finger for her seconds ago. Rational Kagome was long gone as she pushed him aside and left the cell. “No one asked to be associated with you anyway.”

oOo

She didn’t know how, maybe it was written on her face or the faces of the limping demons, but everyone looked at her differently. As if they knew she’d been saved by the asshole known as Inuyasha.

Which was her only explanation, walking out into the sun only to get called over to a picnic table filled with females. Well, mostly females, a few looked like males who wanted to be female. Odd that there were no women who wanted to be men here? 

They were all mixed in age and size, even a girl that didn’t look that much older than Shippo was among them. But her blank stare and pure white skin and hair had her questioning the innocence of the child. She wasn’t bubbly and friendly like Shippo.

The one that called her over, yellow donned and thick lips covered in red, held a hand out to her over the heads of a few others. It forced her to get close. As Kagome took the woman’s hand, she glanced over to Inuyasha, in his usual spot. His face flicked away as soon as her hand took the woman’s as if he’d been looking her way but didn’t want to get caught.

“Hey there White! Causing quite the stir around here, aren’ cha?” The woman beamed, releasing her hand to fiddle with her black locks again. The rest were preening as well as if there was a ball later that night. “Name’s Kagura. What’s yours?”

She paused and one of the feminine males chuckled. “Or should we just call you White?”

“I think we should call her, Inuyasha’s pet?” 

Kagome looked hard at the one who tried to call her ‘Inuyasha’s pet’. Not only because she was pissed, but also because she was confused. The woman had pure gray hair like she was in her 70’s and yet her face was flawless like a 19-year-old. It threw her off so much, she forgot to be mad and instead remained flustered.

“Ladies! Be nice! It’s been years since we’ve had such a presence. Such a pretty little White, we’ve never had someone like that here!” Kagura cooed.

Her anger returned, tired of all the run around just because of the color she was forced to wear. “My name is Kagome. And I’m not afraid of a bunch of Yellows or Blues!”

“A White should be afraid of all of us…” the pure white child spoke and it made Kagome jump a little. The only color on the child was her little blue scrubs but somehow it was as if the color around her drained away to nothing. And then she looked up at Kagome with her dead eyes. “Anyone here would kill you without a second thought.”

“The Thunder Bros already tried. And failed. She may be White but she has some seriously good luck. Or just attracted the right attention?” The male purred the last part and looked at her with hunger in his eyes.

Confused, Kagome quickly shook her head at all of them. “If you mean Inuyasha, then I’m going to stop you there.”

“Didn’t he save your ass this morning?” Kagura asked but her tone said she already knew the answer.

Not knowing how to answer, Kagome remained silent and they all, save for the white child, smirked. The male broke first, laughing loud and hard. “I take it back, she’s not lucky at all is she?”

“I know how it looks but trust me, Inuyasha doesn’t care about me. This morning was...a fluke.” She tried.

Kagura nodded at her but still smirked. “And I’m sure that’s what he wants you to believe. Or rather, what he wants everyone else to believe. His humanity is showing and it’s killing him.”

They all laughed, again except for the white child, and now the man held out his hand. “I’m Jakotsu. Please come to me with any questions or doubts. You’re too fun to let out of my sights.” Kagome glanced at the child out of habit now. “That’s Kanna. She’s a real sweetheart.”

Kagura snickered but Kagome didn’t find the humor. It was clear they already saw Kagome as ignorant. What harm would it be to ask about the colors?

“Can you guys tell me…”

“HIGURASHI! YOU GOT A VISITOR!!!”

She spun towards the guard, half in shock. “Ooooooh, how interesting,” Jakotsu quibbled, “she even gets visitors?”

It was a stab to her heart because he meant none of them got visitors ever. She forced herself to go slow in front of the others because she didn’t want to brag but she also didn’t want to give them another reason to kill her. She was loved and they were forgotten.

Once out of sight, she hurried her way to the visitation room, the guards with her grabbed her and pulled her back a few times to keep her in step with them. Her eyes landed on her guest and her heart leaped into her throat.

“You get five minutes.” The guard growled only to step back and wait by the door.

Silent, she carefully took the seat across from the occupied one, a thick glass wall between them. Reaching over to the phone before her, she took a deep breath and forced the name out of her mouth.

“Hojo.”

oOo

The rest of the day was a blur, she wasn’t even sure she ate or said anything. People talked to her but she couldn’t even tell herself who had or what they said. She was just going through the motions for the rest of the day. Because she was busy replaying her conversation with Hojo over and over again.

“How are you? Are they hurting you?”

A tear slipped down her cheek. How long had it been since someone had shown her any concern? “I’m alright. Surviving.” He nodded, swallowing thickly and making his apple dance. “Hojo, when am I getting out of here?”

The color drained from his face and her heart dropped to her belly. She waited, even though the answer was clear. She wanted him to say it to her face. “I can’t… There’s nothing I can do. There was a report filed by the police and my father’s name is on it…”

“I’m not a demon!! You know I’m not!!!” She screamed, unable to hold it in any longer.

He held up his hands, glancing behind her as she was sure the guard tensed and threatened behind her. “I know!” He stopped to whisper the rest. “I know you’re not.”

“Then get me the hell out of here!!”

“I...I can’t. I’m sorry.”

His face fell, unable to look at her, the coward. “I’m in here because I saved your life…. I’m going to die in here Hojo.”

He shook his head but still wouldn’t look at her. “My… my hands are tied…”

“And my family?” She swallowed hard, wondering what lie was told to them to keep them from coming for her. 

“They think you’re busy with work for now… I’m not sure...what to tell them.”

Her family knew all about her. It was her Mother that explained it to her as a child and her Grandfather that taught her how to use her gifts. Although now, they were more like a curse. “You want to help me Hojo? Keep them from ever finding out. I don’t care what you tell them but I don’t want them involved.” Slapping her hands to the small table before the two of them, she finally got him to look at her again. She needed his eyes on hers. “Promise me, Hojo. I saved your life so you will save theirs. Keep them safe from now on in my place.”

He nodded quickly and dumbly. It was the least he could do and she would be thankful for it. Hojo rose, their time was over and she was sure, she would never see him again. “I love you, Kagome.”

A small smile on her face, she shook her head at him. “But not enough.”

Replacing the phone, she left him there. Her only solace was that her family would be safe. They wouldn’t come looking for her and wouldn’t be silenced by the government when they made too much noise for her release. Maybe they could get her out of here but she wasn’t willing to risk their lives on it. 

This place was her grave.

That was what her mind kept saying over and over again, even as she returned to her cell, Inuyasha already inside. She said nothing to him, what could she say? Sitting on the floor, planning on laying in her ‘bed’ and just going into a restless sleep. But her pillow was gone. 

“Take it.”

Her neck popped, looking over at Inuyasha as he now stood next to the bed, tossing a pillow to the floor to lay down. “What?”

“I said take it! Are you deaf??”

He gestured to the bed and she got to shaky legs. Under any other circumstances, the bed would have been terrible. A thin and lumpy mattress that sat on metal springs covered in rust? The frame was metal too and the chill of it bled through the mattress and sheets. That’s how thin both of them were!

But after four nights on the hard floor and the emotional wreck she was from a day that felt far too long to be physically possible, it might as well have been a memory foam mattress on a king-sized sleigh bed. So she moaned into the pillow and swore she heard Inuyasha chuckle softly at her. Whether he did or not, she couldn’t care less. Nor did she care that the entire bed smelled like him. It was like a fresh breeze, putting her nose deep into the covers and breathing in long and hard. Closing her eyes, she could almost pretend she was deep in the woods on a lovely hike. How did he smell so damn good?? It’s not like he had cologne or decent shampoo here?

As great as the bed felt and as tired as she was, she laid awake long after lights out. Staring at the ceiling, there wasn’t even moonlight from a window to watch. Because there were no windows in this place.

“Hey White… you awake?”

She sighed ruefully. “Unfortunately.”

“You hear that?”

Kagome didn’t hear anything but she wasn’t really listening. Holding her breath to be even more still, she strained her other senses to listen. It didn’t take much, what with her sight gone and shutting off her smell, it enhanced her hearing. And what she heard was more moaning.

Not too different from the night before, she felt her face get hot as she basically listened to someone else having sex. It was like watching porn with her cellmate.

“You hear it. Noticing anything weird about it?” When she was silent, he huffed and continued. “It lasts a really long time, doesn’t it?”

“I...I guess so??” Kagome didn’t want to assume what was ‘normal’ for other’s sex lives.

“That’s what happens to Koga’s women. They all service his pack. When it’s their ‘night’, they have to fuck any of the pack that wants it.”

Her stomach flipped and she struggled to keep the flavorless food she ate in her stomach. “But that’s... how? The guards…”

“The guards don’t give a shit and jump in when they please. No one cares here, White. And anyone who says they do just wants something from you.”

Turning to her side, she faced herself as much as possible away from him. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because after today… I thought you might be considering Koga’s offer…”

“Well, I’m not! I’m not stupid!” She choked, her sobs breaking into her words.

“Are you.. Are you fucking crying??!!”

She didn’t answer him, trying like hell to keep her tears in and when that failed, tried to keep them silent. The result was her body shaking and shaking the bed. It was all too much and this was her life now. How long would she even survive? At the rate things were going, it wouldn’t be for long. 

She cried even harder when a sliver of herself looked forward to death. 

No longer caring, because no way in hell he didn’t know she was crying now, she let the sobs release from her chest. It felt like they ripped from her soul, taking little pieces of her with them as they flew out into the darkness. When she was done, she would be numb and Kagome was fine with that.

That is until the bed shifted and squeaked with new weight in it. 

She didn’t even question it or pull away as Inuyasha wrapped his arms around her and pulled her back to his chest. He muttered something that sounded like ‘god damn humanity’ and held her a little tighter. It helped somehow. Maybe it was the humanity of the action? Finally feeling some sense of human connection? It was surprising how much she missed it, just needing a drop of kindness her way to survive any longer. And Inuyasha gave her a cup full instead of just a drop.

Kagome expected him to return to the floor when her tears stopped but as she sniffled, reigning in a small semblance of control, he remained at her side. Of all the people, creatures, monsters in this place, the one that cast her to the side from the start was the one she trusted the most. So she had no fear or shame in asking.

“Inuyasha… what does White mean?”

She thought he would laugh. Maybe take a few easy shots at her for her ignorance. But instead it was almost like he was sad himself. Close to tears even for some strange reason. “It means you’re powerless. You’re not a threat to me, to the demons here, or to anyone in the outside world.” 

Her mouth opened but no words came out. 

“The only reason you’re here is because the humans are uncomfortable with you so they threw you in to erase your existence.”

NOW YOU KNOW WHAT WHITE MEANS!!! Hope you’re not disappointed.

Okay so here are the people that mentioned getting tagged next time I post. So sorry if I left you out and I sincerely hope you still see this!  @smmahamazing @itzatakahashi @cstorm86 @keichanz @redflamesofpassion @littlestuffstohide @thatpunnyperson @lavendertwilight89 @ladyayami @lemonlushff @elohiniar @lavaffair and, of course, @knowall7k finally got that bed sharing in there for ya!

#inuyasha fanfiction #inuyasha #kagome higurashi #prison AU #sharing one bed #trope challenge gone wrong #or right? #inuyasha fandom #kanna #kagura #thunder bros #updates #Kagome X Inuyasha #hojo #sad hojo #colors revealed

[munsonsduchess]

So, I re-watched The Old Guard, again. Just like my Mag 7 re-watch I made some notes, six pages of them to be exact which is why I’m gonna drop them under the cut so I don’t clutter up anyone’s dash with my mildest of observations and all my feelings for a sad alcoholic Frenchman. 

I love how we’re introduced to everyone, Andy walking alone through Marrakesh and Booker speeding through the narrow streets on his bike. Are we supposed to think they’re strangers or do they know each other

Bookers little smile when he catches up to Andy like he’s so happy to see her again and Andy’s face lighting up to see him again too

Andy spent a fortune on a book because she knew Booker would like it. “First edition Don Quixote, that wouldn’t come cheap” “it didn’t”

“What brings you to Marrakech?” // “Family'' leave me alone I’m already sobbing

Andy honey they’ll still be able to see that picture in deleted photos but you tried and that’s what matters

Nicky and Joe!

Nicky is so happy to see Andy. That little smile. It’s adorable

“You look good” “you look ok” gentle family teasing is the best ok

“Boss”

It’s been a year since they saw one and other and they just love each other so much. No one touch me.

Nicky and Booker betting on the baklava and Joe just sitting there like “let him lose his money it’s fine, he won’t learn and it’s funny”

Everyone teasing Nicky for loosing and he’s just stood there like “no it’s fine ”

These are the best people for the job and Copley knows it and doesn’t care how much it will cost him. He has faith

Copley knowing Nicky is there and the little wave

Andy taking her axe with her. I love that axe

Just a group of immortals walking through the desert with swords and guns nothing to see here

“Peace be with you” those catholic teachings never quite leave

“It’s a trap!”

That has got to hurt. Those guys emptied full clips into them. Like I get the need to do a job and do it well but come on guys that’s overkill

This is what women want. Andy and her axe

Nicky still having faith there are girls

The picture on Copley’s desk. Like if you knew why did you have to go through this bullshit?

Andy has lived too long and seen too much

Like I know now that Booker knew what was happening or maybe he didn’t know the extent of it but him saying sorry did feel genuine

Andy is just all kinds of done. She didn’t want to do the job in the first place

Nile proving that yes you can be in a strange place and you can serve your country but you don’t have to be a dick about it

“Keep it respectful”

She made an effort to learn the language and learn the customs which goes a long way to establish trust

How traumatic must this have been for Nile? She always knew there was a possibility of being injured in combat or worse never coming home but to be injured so fatally and have your friend hold your life in their hands only to come back and be rejected because you’re an anomaly. A freak

Goes a long way to explain Booker’s feelings too

Nicky and Joe sleeping in the train car is something that is obviously so normal for couples and goes such a long way to show people how ‘normal’ queer people are

“What did you see?” “Part of a name tag” thanks Booker that’s helpful

“I felt her die”

“Everything happens for a reason boss”

Booker didn’t want to go after Nile. He didn’t want her involved

Nicky pushing for them to go after Nile. The emotional centre of the group, appealing to their own experiences and feelings from their first times

Andy is not happy and I can understand how she feels. Given their current situation bringing an unknown element into the mix is only going to complicate everything

“I know I saw her die”

No scarring. Nothing to suggest that anything happened to Nile

The seeds of doubt already growing amongst Nike’s friends and allies

Merrick looks like he should have been a doctor who villain who got his shit kicked in by Donna

Copley you asshole what did you think was gonna happen? They were just gonna get clips emptied into their bodies and let the mercs walk away? Use your big boy brain

Nile trying to come to terms with what happened to her. Everyone around her looking at her with suspicion. Even her Sargent who’s sending her away from more tests

The hostility in the barracks. The fact that her things are already packed.

Everyone knows what happened. Nile has never been more alone just like Nicky said

Trying to drown out the noise of the world and decompress and understand what happened“

But you can call me Andy”

Just casually steals a military transport. Nbd

MA’AM PLEASE I AM ALREADY GAY. Riding around in a tank top and shades like that is not helping

“These damn kids” 

Zero hesitation in shooting Nile. This is a woman who has run out of every kind of fuck

“Why does it always have to be so goddamn slow the first couple of times?”

“You shot me” “yes honey now back in the car

”Andy might think she’s cold and heartless and only here to do a job but you can see how much she already cares about what happens to Nile

Soldiers. Fighters. Family

You know what I’m really glad they didn’t make Andy’s tank top skin tight or moulded to show off her body. That isn’t how she rolls

Andy is so proud that Nile stabbed her. Look at that smile

!Nile already having the makings of a plan within minutes of stepping onto the plane

Andy just like “god isn’t real, I’m real though and people thought I was god”

I wonder how many nights the group sat up until the wee hours discussing things like theology. Andy who was worshiped as a god. Nicky and Joe who fought in a holy war for their beliefs and Booker who probably had his own feelings on the subject 

Andy being so chill about the crash. The best poker face

It was a good try Nile and look Andy is proud of you!

The smile on Andy’s face when she’s fighting with Nile gives me so much serotonin

Soft Andy. Who had to be tough to teach a lesson

Poor Nile. Coming to terms with what she is and the fact that she might never see her family again

Family dinner time!

Awkward family dinner time

Nicky and Joe staring at each each other with their puppy dog eyes “we’re meant to find each other”

Then Booker and Andy like “misery loves company”

Everyone’s just like “awh Nicky and Joe are so cute”

Andy reliving the people she’s fought with and lost

Booker knows just how much ‘help’ talking to ones family about the situation is

Booker do not put your finger on the trigger of your gun when it’s still in your trousers! You might be immortal but that’s gonna hurt a lot more

Oh no. Quynh.

Andy’s face. I can’t

Joe in tears telling the story“

Before me and Nicky it was just the two of them”

Booker knowing exactly how it feels to hang there for hours and not die or dying and coming back time and time again. Knowing how Quynh and Andy must have felt

I cannot imagine what it must have been like for Andy. To be with someone for so long. The only other person who understands you. To be ripped apart like that

“Why do you blame yourself” that’s not a nice question to ask people

The big emotional talk with Andy and Nile in the churchyard being interrupted by the gunfire

Andy being so afraid Booker wouldn’t come back and delegating to Nile who just accepts her orders

“Welcome back asshole” / “it feels like someone was dancing on my chest”

The banter

Nicky being banished to the table in the corner after 2006 is my favourite headcanon

“Wait for my signal” Andy is more pissed than ever at the people coming after her family

“Big wounds take longer to heal” Nile as a millennial presses x to doubt

The sheer emotion in Andy’s eyes as she fights. The tears. She’s doing this for her family.

Will I ever stop harping on about found family in this show? No I will not“

How can you even tell what the signal is?” One explosion later “oh wait nvm”

The wound on Andy’s shoulder probably doesn’t even feel like anything with the amount of adrenaline

The van. These two“

What is he your boyfriend?” Stanzas of Arabic poetry later, “he’s not my boyfriend he’s all and he’s more”

Nicky and Joe Horny on Main all day every day

These cocky little shits “can you remove the chains? no? ok”“

There’s a TV Joe!” “Champagne?” it’s not a field trip boys

“I used to keep my stuff here” in an abandoned mine she found in the 1150s or that’s when she thinks she found it

Nile being amazed by Andy’s ‘stuff’

Booker meanwhile makes a joke at the expense of his sister

Merrick really should have been a doctor who villain honestly. The grand gesturing the weird mood swings. He could have been great in a two part episode and then had to reckon with Donna

Donna Noble is my favourite companion don’t @ me

Copley beginning to have second thoughts on everything

Andy realising only now that she hasn’t healed from the fight in the church“

Just because we keep living doesn’t mean we stop hurting” I have a lot of Booker feelings ok“

I thought you were the brains of this outfit” oh honey no

Bookers family. Oh no.

No but really how hard must it have been for Booker. To know that his son, his baby was suffering from cancer such an awful disease all the whole cursing his father for being selfish, uncaring, cursing Booker and Booker can’t do anything about it. He’s immortal, he heals, disease will never ravage his body, but he can’t share it with his son. He can only sit and watch as death claims everyone he’s ever loved. Living with the fact that his family despised him at the end of their lives because they didn’t understand that his immortality is a curse.

I have a lot of Booker feels don’t @ me

The pharmacy girl though. Helping just because she could

Reaffirming the reason why Andy started to help people in the first place

A selfless act. A purely good deed. Nothing expected in return. An unselfish act

Andy’s wound and Lykon’s death causing Andy to come to terms with her own mortality

Merrick “prosperity data” and Copley “I’m sorry those are people not objects”

Nicky is not here for your bullshit

Malta Sex Vacation ™

HORNY JAIL

Family bonding time with Nile and Andy

Andy “whatever it takes” and Nile “not on my watch”

So what I want to know is obviously Booker was in on it from the beginning but did actively derail Andy looking into Copley after Joe and Nicky were taken or was he just genuinely having a hard time

Nile prioritising her flesh and blood family and Andy totally understanding because she’s doing this for family too“

You and me Book. Now and always” my heart can’t cope

Nile finding the empty clip. Realising what’s about to happen and going back for her new family because as much as she loves her flesh and blood family this one matters to her as well

Meanwhile Copley I guess got a tip off from Booker (?) and knew this was all going down

The conspiracy wall

Booker you bastard why did you shoot her in the back?

I love this man but god damn

Booker wanting to be ‘normal’ because the memory of being rejected is still so raw

Suicidal tendencies in a 200 year old man

They’re both so upset by the whole thing. The betrayal

Book loves this woman with all his heart and soul. This is the woman who saved him and now she isn’t healing. She’s dying

Booker putting up so much of a fight so they wouldn’t take Andy

“I’m sorry Andy I’m sorry”

You might disagree with me but in my mind Booker never meant to hurt anyone. He didn’t want to be a lab rat. Didn’t want anyone else to be a lab rat. He just wanted to be ‘normal’“

All things die”

“Your time is coming” // “As is yours” Nicky is gonna fuck someone up

“I’m new” says Nile after shooting herself in the foot to make a point

Copley’s conspiracy wall or his fanboy wall for all the good Andy, Booker, Joe and Nicky have done

Copley’s grief at losing his wife being the driving factor for handing the group over to Merrick is tragic and heart breaking and just goes to show how much of a human story this really is

Nile said no guns Copley

Nile is here to save her family

“Those three men in there and I we’ll keep you safe” // Nile coming in guns blazing for them instead

Joe is going to kill Booker himself

“You and Nicky always had each other. All we had was our grief”

Everyone being so surprised to see Nile like “what the fuck?”“

Just leave me here” // “No man left behind”

Meanwhile Joe is fine with just leaving Booker right there to be the last lab rat

The groups concern for Andy who’s always been so strong

The concern. The subtle little head nods Andy does to let them know she’s ok

Andy spies an axe

Joe being so concerned for Nicky and making sure he comes back ok

Nicky immediately scrambling to his feet to go and help Andy

“What happened in 1934?” // “1834”

“Wait for the signal” “like the last one?” “Go big or go home!”

Arguing over who goes first and Andy just “if it doesn’t work our next time you can go first”

And there’s your signal

“You shot Nicky” Joe is not messing around when it comes to his other half“

You ok?” // “Everything hurts”

Andy has been immortal for so long she’s lost all sense of feeling human. Then Nile shows up to do just that. Remind her

Merrick calling Nile selfish like I’m sorry you entitled little shit what did you say“

Do you think he speaks Russian?”

YEET!

That one must have hurt

Nicky and Joe just like “wow the new girl is hardcore”

“Faster than the elevator”

Gotta save Andy’s axe

Nicky sits in the middle which is the actual worst place to sit in a car

Do you think they al rocked up to a hotel covered in blood like “don’t ask just give us a room and a shower”

Joe still seething at Booker through the pub window

Nile having to live with the fact that her family will never know what really happened to her. That they’ll all think she was KIA and whatever body they send back won’t be hers

The 100 year naughty step

I love that Nile was gonna let Booker off with an apology like “he didn’t mean it he’s just a sad alcoholic”

Nobody look at me. Ok. Andy and Booker saying goodbye on the shore. I can’t. This is it. This is the scene that breaks me

“I won’t see you again” // “Have a little faith Book”

Joe really wants to hit Booker. Probably did in the interim

The big picture“

Maybe this is the why Andy”

Andy laying down the law and Joe in the background like “yeah this isn’t a request”

Meanwhile in Paris. Booker is tired and just wants a drink

I am a fan of the scruff though

If that’s water Quynh definitely brought it in herself for The Drama ™

QUYNH THOUGH

#the old guard #long post #disjoined thoughts #i have a lot of booker feelings #i am not apologising for what he did #i just have a lot of feelings about the why #in which my fave is the traitor of the group #why you ask? wish i knew mate #duchess.txt

[macklives]

hey so this is gonna be a long-ish one. ive decided its been far too long since i did a session, and we did so many i can often forget what happened. i started in july and im pretty sure its been more than half a year now since this whole blog happened. and in that time, we’ve gone through 88 sessions and i want to know if i remember the relevant plot points and what we got up to in the last few sessions. a refresh/reminder if you would.

so i hereby commence my own little recap of act 5 because yeah no, its too much to do a recap of everything and i have andrew for that after every few acts. but i wanna refresh my mind on act 5 for now. so here we go.

1. alternia.. fucked up place. but its a place the trolls live on so what are we gonna do about it? overthrow the government? seems about right, lets do that with the next troll that gets introduced and if its not kanaya idk what andrew is doing by not having introduced the best troll yet. why the long wait? it was the second introduced? i honestly expected it to go in order when i first read act 5, because first we had karkat talk to jade which was the first new piece dialogue in the comic besides the main kids, but then we had kanaya with rose, which was followed by tavros, then terezi (iirc). so id assume we were following that order but nope karkat got fully introduced, then this random fucking juggalo called gamzee made its way into the comic. imagine my surprise.

2. theres been terminology throughout act 5, that i do not fucking know and will not remember and probably never will. like tf is a perigee again? i made a doc somewhere ill probably find it.

3. karkat’s introduction... short but very sweet. and by sweet i mean we got to know the depths of the angry edge lord. and by depths i mean karkat got angry at gamzee for typing in a way that he didnt like so he yapped like a chihuahua. nah, but seriously, i do like karkat tho, hes growing on me but only bc hes a bitch baby and his whole personality makes me want to mock him so thats the reason im not that annoyed and think hes funny, and the most harmless troll. even more so than tavros. and thats saying something. 7.5/10 bc im generous.

4. then gamzee... the high juggalo troll who has the worst typing quirk imo, i cannot for the life of me read it. but hes chill, i actually really like gamzee. hes funny and the least problematic as of right now. 8.5/10.

5. terezi’s introduction next i think. she likes playing as a lawyer with her stuffed dragons, ie by roleplay, shes blind, can see through licking, and she likes eating chalk, maybe its even nutritious. shes good. 9/10. 

6. uhh in the process of these intros, there are teams being made? karkat joins gamzee and terezi in, i THINK, the red team?? bc terezi likes red?? could be wrong, i dont remember the teams except that its red/blue to represent sollux’s duality in those colors. terezi then tries recruiting AC but AC is like lol sorry i have to ask this friend of mine who has authority over me for some goddamn reason and terezi goes yuck tf i hate that guy................... yeah thats all we have on the teams. pretty sure sollux had smth to do with karkat about the making of the leaders, and they did the “i hate me” and the “no i hate me more than u hate u” or whatever the fuck that was. they got embarrassed afterwards and deleted their messages. im pretty sure they have no messages because everything ends up being mutually deleted so their logs are actually empty. ngl, kinda enjoyed their convos, made me appreciate their characters. i hope we get more because its good content. i also dont know what order this whole thing is in, who contacted who first? couldnt tell you. ill remember later on. and since im basing this off from memory alone, gotta deal with what i remember. uhhhh so yeah. we havent met all characters yet so the teams have not been officially decided but we got the bases, which is that.

7. god i found it, and the only thing im looking at right now is the terminology list i made and what the fuck?? what the fuck?? you miss a few weeks and suddenly the word nubslurping comes up and you forget what the fuck youre reading.

8. im PRETTY SURE aradia is seen after that whole team fiasco?? or its sollux... maybe. wait. its sollux, right. i just knew someone gets introduced mid way through is all. actually, someone gets introduced after every 20 pages. i have no idea. but ik aradia and sollux go hand in hand.

9. oh shit. OH SHIT! RIGHT! I REMEMBER! so this occurs in the latest session i did, and not the beginning of act 5, but AG and aradia team up, right?? and sollux fucking gets manipulated by them and ??? idk??? they make him find the game, reprogram it and then make him believe its going to end the world (which in hindsight is true, but anyways) so he refuses to play it which was AG’s plan all along so she steps up and becomes leader in his place. but aradia says sollux will still play the game no matter what, but she never went through with the plan for AG but it was apart of a prophecy? that sollux wouldnt be the leader at all? that he’d still play? but it had to go according to plan so it could succeed??? we just dont know why yet. anyways, point being, she still cares for sollux since she did it for him rather than for AG. and thats what i recall. god tf i forgot about that whole drama until writing down “sollux and aradia go hand in hand” which gave me violent flashbacks to the memory.

10. oh and id give aradia 9/10 and sollux 7/10. i do like sollux but if i put him higher than karkat, id get crucified. so im keeping them around the same.

11. man i really like sollux and aradia tho, i may have put him at 7, but i really like their dynamic and i really hope they make up and aradia explains herself about AG. because from one side it looks shitty. and while sollux is rude and never makes up his mind, he apologized to aradia after going off, and that was the only time ive seen him be sincere, so im pretty sure he cares for her to some extent. and i think its somewhat mutual? considering the whole “did it for him” thing. man, i see potential because i actually like both their characters. theyre well written. may not have the best personalities, but i appreciate well written characters and homestuck has the best ones ive seen in a while.

12. oh shit, hell yeah, the more i write, the more im connecting the dots and remembering. however, the more i write, the more i want to just make an analogy post but thats not for now. jesus christ its not all about analogies, mack, this is a recap. but.. how does andrew do it? to not go off track??? hard. telling ya.

13. anyways, didnt we break the fourth wall at some point and have the demon gods or whatever the fuck speak to us in third person for the first time in the comic, after having only gone into second person narrative, right after we were introduced to sollux and his “virus”? the uh, the phrase “the demon was already here” was said, or something along those lines. first line in homestuck to give me the creeps ngl and i appreciate it bc it gives me motivation to know what the fuck its about. its cool bc you have no idea where its going and it sure doesnt have anything to do with the current plot, since the trolls’ session/game doesnt have fucking demons so im curious as to what the fuck that was about. and if i really have to make a theory, i feel it has something to do with aradia’s voices in her head which also connect to the gods rose heard when she started disregarding rules and told dave to look at derse without listening to music bc it was as if he was purposely blocking away their calls. like holy shit, that gave me the shivers. while i do want to know more about wtf happens after act 4, trolls are taking priority right now. just like we did with the intermission. no discussing the kids unless necessary. treat this as its own separate comic. and THEN we can connect.

14. ANYWAYS, tavros’ intro???? that comes afterwards?? with the fiduspawn that made me gag a little on the inside? yep. remember that. fuck that lol. -1/10 but tavros himself is MAYBE a 6/10? i wish we explored his character more in his intro bc right now he just looks like a character made only to be a victim rather than have any depth and i feel thats robbing someone of their full potential. give me more personality andrew, rather than a quivering boy who falls prey to bitches. im expecting more throughout the comic honestly and i hope he gets growth so hes not looked as a “victim” but rather his own character. he is still sweet, and i like him because i want to protect him, but id rather have more info, you know what i mean?

15. oh hell. kanaya had a chainsaw at some point. that made me happy. and didnt she cut off tavros’ legs?? and he got robot ones? and some creepy dude was looking and we called him saggy tits bc hes sagittarius? right? neat. that did happen. pretty sure saggy tits is ACs friend that tells her what to do. the more u know. OH and they all have colored blood similar to their text colors lol. that i remember... so tavros has brown, terezi has blueish green, um. karkat has grey the loser. and apparently it forms a rainbow which is nice. rainbow is good.

16. i dont remember anything else actually

17. wait no i do. AG appeared. shes a petty bully. idk what to say about her. we didnt get that much, except that she hates tavros but is okay with aradia. she also looks like a bottle opener. actually, i think she teamed with aradia to gain leadership rather than to “be friends”. and while that is similar to how karkat did it, meaning the gain, the motivation and how they earned it is entirely different. kinda seeing a trend tho. the leaders of the red/blue teams are both characters who wanted the role, but never had it to begin with. only to win their way into the position. but rather than ask non-stop like karkat did, AG manipulated others so she could be successful. not too sure if she also used aradia for that, or is actually motivated to become friends since they were “past enemies” and she needed a rebound. pretty sure its somewhat both. while AG did mostly use aradia to speak with sollux, what she doesnt know is that aradia is a bad bitch who never even thought about AG and only followed through with the plan bc she had a plan of her own. i guess we’ll look into that later. i lowkey want to know their history.

18. OH AC!!! she appeared for a second as well. love her. shes amazing. 9.5/10. and you may ask yourself, why am i saying “i love this character” but none of them are 10/10?? weellllll its because, and i cant stress this enough, 10/10 belongs to kanaya, i dont make the rules. im waiting for her introduction, shes my favorite and its obvious. sorry.

19. oh huh seems i forgot about the term “lusus”. which.. is.. their parents but not really, its these fucking weird ass creatures that the trolls fought in a cave or something as a child. i dont fucking know. terezi hatched hers and it died? gamzee’s also died but his goat sea dad was never really there to begin with so while it is sad, its more sad that gamzee never saw him? um.. karkat killed his own by exploding his computer bc sollux said dont run the virus and karkat said u cant tell me what to do and did it anyways. so thats on him. but apparently theyre supposed to die, to become prototyped during the game, right? yeah. i remember now.

20. thats.. about it? idk anything else, nothing is coming back to me apart from the shit above. huh.... im surprised how quickly things do come back to you the moment you rant about the plot tho.... handy trick.

cool. neat. fun. this took me too long. but im glad i remember a little bit.

#i wanted to catch u all up on this #but ill most likely do a liveblog tmr bc i was bust today unfortunately apart from writing this out #bc this took priority for better understanding where i am rn #maaaannnn #writing wears me out #i love it #but its tiring the fucking bitch #so im in need for deep sleep #wish i could do more smh #welll #goodnight :)

[decayedflower]

Stranger I

⋆ gif is mine

Pairing: Yang Hongwon x Reader

Genre: Underground rapper!Hongwon, Barista!Reader | angst, fluff

Word Count: 6.5k

Summary: Don’t get attached. This was his number one rule. Attachment means getting hurt. Attachment means vulnerability. You are the only person you can trust. So how could she so easily sneak past and break the walls he had worked so hard to build around his heart when all she is, is a stranger?

Warnings: some cussing, underage drinking, mentions of sex

A/N: Please note that there will probably be more mentions of mature content in the future. Do also keep in mind that this is all fictional, and Hongwon is a grown ass man so if you cannot come to terms with that then this fic is not for you!

You stood at the foot of the apartment; your hand still in its grip on the knob. A pair of glossy red high heels sit prettily at the entrance; right next to your boyfriend’s white Nike Air Jordan 1’s.

There was no way right? Surely this wasn’t what you thought it was.

You hesitantly walk into the apartment, careful not to make any noise. There is no one in the kitchen or in the living room. Your heart booms loudly in your chest. It’s 6pm. Why is he even home? He’s usually out of work by 8pm so it’s a bit early for him to be home…Maybe his sister came over?

Relax, Y/N. Stop overreacting.

Oh but wrong you are and overreacting you are not. As you draw closer, you notice the bedroom door has been left ajar. His naked back is to you, his body caging a girl beneath him, her long curly hair sticking to her face. The bedsheets cover them, but you don’t need to imagine what is going on underneath them. His back muscles flex as he pounds into her. For a moment you’re frozen, all you can see and hear is the way she screams out in pleasure, her nails clawing into his back. You back away, not wanting to see anymore than you have, but finding yourself unable to look away. And then, because the universe hates you, the floorboards creak underneath you.

The girl snaps her eyes open to you and gasps, holding onto your boyfriend to cover herself, “oh my god!”

“What?” Jaewon eyes widen when he turns back and sees you standing through the crack of the door. Your legs hit the back of the couch before you snap out of it and decide to make a run for it.

Shit. Shit, shit, shit.

You hastily grab your bag off the floor, tripping over your own feet, wanting nothing more than to get the fuck out of there. You hear a voice ask faintly in the background, “you know her?” You squeeze your eyes and try to block them out, not wanting to hear his answer. You’re about to leave when you turn to see Jaewon shirtless and buckling his pants in a hurry to get to you. “Y/N, wait—”

And then you’re gone.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“You know, if I didn’t know any better I’d think you were upset.” Hoon says, filling your glass for the fourth time now. You chuckle humorlessly, “Oh yeah? No shit?” You chug half of your drink, Hoon’s stare piercing through the side of your head. “Alright easy now, tiger. What’s got you getting all shitfaced within 10 minutes of you getting here? I’m on the clock you know, I can’t exactly babysit right now.”

“I’m not a baby,” you huff. “And I’m not even drunk yet you asshole.”

“Uh huh,” he rests his cheek on his hand, staring at you expectantly. “You can’t fool me kid, I’ve known you since you were just a little brat. No one goes and gets drunk all alone at this time of night for the shits and giggles.”

You’re huff quietly, stubbornly trying to pretend nothing is wrong but alas, you were never a good liar. “He cheated on me,” you say, your grip on the glass tightening. “What?”

“He cheated on me, Hoon. Jaewon cheated on me,” you finally look at him, tears starting to prick your eyes. Honestly, you were shocked you had lasted this long without crying your eyes out. When you left the apartment you still hadn’t fully processed what you had seen. But now that you sat here in front of Hoon, reality was sitting heavy on your heart.

You have plenty more drinks after that, drunkenly relaying all the details to your friend, coming to terms for the first time that night that your boyfriend of 2 years cheated on you. Eventually, after trying to soothe and calm you down but to no avail, Hoon decides to call your roommate. He loves you and really wishes he could comfort you, but he had already spent quite some time talking to you and his boss was starting to give him stank faces. Also, he was pretty sure anyone within a 5 mile radius had overheard your emotional breakdown with how loud you were being. You’d thank him later.

“Please come get her. My boss will chew my ass out if I don’t get back to work soon. Plus I’ve got her snot all over my shirt and it’s kind of fuckin’ disgusting.”

“Shit, it’s that bad? I’ll be there in 10 minutes.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“A-A-And then h-he—aghhhhhhunghh,” you bawl into Hyeri’s coat as she struggles to help you out of the passenger seat of her car. Hyeri loves you. She really does. But she was two seconds away from leaving your ass on the sidewalk with how difficult you were being. “HE SAID HE LUHEED MEE!! HE’S UH LIAR!!!”

“Okay okay, I know honey. He’s a fucking asshole but you need to stop yelling before someone calls the cops on us for a kidnapping, okay?”

You sniff loudly and nod your head at her. “I swear I’m going fucking kill him. Don’t you worry, sweetie he’s not going to get away with this.”

After much tripping and fumbling she manages to haul you to your shared apartment. She sits you on the couch and hands you a water bottle. “I need you to drink this okay? All of it.”

You pout, “don’t wanna.”

“Y/N,” she warns.

“…”

She glares at you, her stare unwavering.

“Fine,” you grab the bottle from her and chug it.

“Thank you,” she smiles at you. “Let’s get you to bed. We can talk about it tomorrow when you’re feeling better okay?”

And you do. The following day you tell her in detail how you walked in on his two timing. You’re embarrassed, to say the least. Embarrassed that you didn’t notice anything was wrong. Embarrassed that you allowed yourself to be made a fool out of. In truth, if someone had asked if you thought Jaewon would ever cheat on you, you would have wholeheartedly said no. Your relationship with Jaewon was perfect. Or at least you had thought it was. He was such a loving boyfriend, a guy who never failed to make sure you felt treasured. He worshipped you body, took you out on nice dates, always told you how pretty you are. You thought he was the perfect guy, but had you just been so blind to the attention he gave you that you didn’t notice when his eyes strayed?

How skilled was he at this game that you had not even dared to think he would cheat on you? For two years he had you wrapped around his finger. You were an idiot for letting him play you like that.

The weekend drags on with you cooped up in your bedroom for the entirety of it. Luckily you had the weekend off to cry to your heart’s content with a tub of ice cream in your lap. You were thankful for Hyeri, always there to comfort you and feed you your favorite foods. Of course she had her own colorful words to say about your ex boyfriend, swearing she’d cut his balls off herself the next time they crossed paths.

Speaking of balls, he sure had a pair on him. (figuratively, not literally, he wasn’t that impressive) He was actually trying to apologize through text.

Jae ♥♥♥: can we talk please? [7:58 PM]

Jae ♥♥♥: i wasn’t in my right mind please believe me [9:58 PM]

Jae ♥♥♥: just let me explain [8:02 PM]

Jae ♥♥♥: baby please [8:17 PM]

You leave his ass on read.

Jae ♥♥♥: Talk to me [11:37 PM]

Jae ♥♥♥: I know you’re reading these [11:45 PM]

Jae ♥♥♥: Y/N? Baby please. [11:57 PM]

Hyeri sits at the foot of your bed, painting her toenails. “He won’t stop texting me.” You watch your phone as texts come in one after another, tears long dried on your cheeks. She snaps her head up, nail polish brush between her fingers in the air, “don’t you fucking dare.”

You sigh, “what if—”

“Y/N, please don’t tell me you’re even considering forgiving him.”

“Oh god no! I just…it’s hard. He’s a fucking pig for cheating on me…but my heart can’t help it. I spent two years of my life with him, Hyeri. He’s the longest relationship I’ve had. This probably sounds stupid, but I really thought he was the one.” You sniff and roll over on your bed, sinking deep into your pillows.

“It’s not stupid, honey. Anyone else in your shoes would feel the same way. But you don’t deserve that shit. Any guy stupid enough to even stray their eyes from someone as goregous and smart as you for their girlfriend, has some real fuckin’ issues. But he did what he did, and let me tell you sweetheart, that shit will not be flying with me. He’d better hope we don’t even get within a 10 mile radius of each other cause so help me those will be his last living moments.”

You grunt a response.

“Stop pouting. If I didn’t have wet toes right now, I’d be engulfing you in a koala hug but just wait til these bad boys dry.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

The beginning of your shift at the cafe goes by quickly. It’s a monday so the early morning rush keeps you busy for a while. After the rush of people in need of their daily dose of caffeine before work and school, only a couple of patrons remain in the shop. The small break allows you to clear up tables and replace empty bottles and containers on the shelves while it’s slow.

Jaewon continued to bombard your phone with texts over the weekend in hopes that you would give in and talk things over with him. You wanted to block him, but a small part of you also enjoyed the little power you had over him when you read his desperate messages only to leave him with silence. You have seen plenty of shitty relationships where people stay even when they get cheated on but you’re smart enough to recognize a toxic relationship when you see one. Forgiving someone after they are unfaithful just seems impossible to you. If they cheat once, they could certainly do it again. Call you a dumb bitch for not seeing the signs earlier but you’re not stupid enough to do that to yourself.

You chastise yourself for letting your thoughts wander to him again and finish wiping down the last table. The ding of the bell at the front entrance signals the entrance of a new customer, and you call out instinctively, “Welcome! I’ll be there in just a moment!” Let me catch my breath for a second, will you universe? You grumble inwardly. You quickly grab the rag you were using and make your way to the kitchen. You toss it into a bin in the back and greet them at the front counter.

“Good morning,” you say in your best work voice, only briefly acknowledging the customer’s presence, “What can I get for you today?”

To be honest you only half-assedly spoke, contrary to the sickly sweet voice you were using. You were hoping to quickly get through this order so you could go back to moping quietly at the back of the cafe. You keep your gaze on the register’s screen, ready to punch in whatever drink this guy wanted.

“Mornin.”

The deep timbre of his voice slightly startles you and you try to not make it obvious in the way you snap your eyes up to get a peek at him. You instantly regret it. His dark hair hides beneath a black beanie, small curls peeking out from the back of it. He’s dressed casually in a dark gray hoodie and loose black cargo pants, but he somehow makes it look like it belongs on a magazine cover. Fuck. He’s the epitome of grunge emo boy hottie. You cover up your gawking with a nervous smile.

He returns your smile with a boyish smile of his own that you find quite endearing.

“Can I get two medium iced americanos, please.” Two drinks, huh. Maybe he has a girlfriend he’s meeting here. Fuck. You really don’t need cute emo boy here to get all lovey dovey with his (probably) really pretty girlfriend in front of you to remind you of just how broken and unmendable your own relationship is.

“Of course,” you punch in the order (perhaps a bit too aggressively). “Can I get a name for the order?”

“Hongwon.”

Fuck this guy. Even his name is cute. How’s that even possible? “Hongwon,” you repeat, grabbing two medium sized cups and writing it down. “Alright, your total is going to be $6.50.”

He hands you his card, your fingers brushing slightly as he does so. You ignore the way your cheeks start to heat up and quickly ring him up before you hand him his receipt. “Your drinks will be ready soon.”

“Thanks.”

Okay, get a hold of yourself, Y/N. It’s not his fault you’re single because your boyfriend turned out to be a douche. You sigh and make a grab for the coffee beans when your coworker emerges from the back of the kitchen.

“Hey Jungkook, back from break?”

He yawns and nods, “Yeah. I should have taken a damn nap though.” You chuckle, “what, you stay up playing Resident Evil all night again?”

He gasps dramatically and stops what he is doing to look at you, “Rude of you to assume I wasn’t up studying!” You fill two cups with ice and water. “We both know your ass wasn’t studying, you big goof.”

“Okay, I wasn’t. But that shit still hurted bro.”

You laugh again and shake your head. Jungkook tops the two cups with espresso and places the lids on them.

“Hongwon?” He calls out, reading your handwriting. You try to not look when you hear his footsteps draw closer and instead busy yourself with replacing an empty bottle of vanilla syrup.

“Thanks man.”

“No problem dude.”

As you go to toss out the empty syrup bottle, you note that the chocolate syrup is nearly gone as well as the caramel. Who the hell closed the shop last night? You swear it was probably that new guy Namjoon. He was really sweet and funny, but he was also incredibly clumsy and forgetful. You groan to yourself, remembering that both boxes of chocolate and caramel syrup are placed at the highest rack on the shelves where you can’t reach.

The bell rings again and a tall boy enters the cafe; one you recognize as Choi Hamin, one of your regular customers who you had befriended not too long ago. He smiles and waves at you. You return the gesture and blink confusedly when he doesn’t come to the register to order himself a drink.

“So how have you been, Y/N?” Jungkook asks, bringing your attention back to him.

“Huh?”

“It’s been a while since we worked a shift together.” You internally groan when he asks the one question you’ve been dreading all day. Jungkook tosses out the syrup bottles you left on the counter and heads towards the storage room in the kitchen, probably having watched your inner mental breakdown. You follow him into the room, opting to joke around with him to avoid voicing how you actually feel. “That’s because you keep giving your shifts away, headass. Maybe if you actually came into work…” you tease.

He laughs loudly and raises his hands in defense, “Whoa whoa whoa, I did not ask to be called out like that! You’re full of sass today aren’t you? Besides, you didn’t answer my question.” he immediately finds the boxes he’s looking for and reaches for them. “What’re you up to these days?”

Your fingers play with an open box of coffee creamers on a nearby shelf absentmindedly. “Oh uhm nothing much. I’m good. Just, you know, school. Art projects and stuff.” You internally cringe at the way you are unable to form a lie on the spot. “Nothing too crazy. How about you?” you ask quickly, hoping to pass the attention back onto him.

Jungkook looks over his shoulder and studies your face for a while before he decides to speak. “I’m good but…is everything really okay?”

“Yeah, it’s not too stressful. Besides, you know me, always keeping my head buried in those—”

“That’s not what I meant.”

His expression is unreadable, but the concern that laces his voice is clear. You stare at him blankly for a while, unable to find your voice. You both look at each other for a moment before a voice breaks the silence.

“Hey, Y/N?”

“Ah, uh—coming!” you call out. You head back to the register quickly, eager to avoid Jungkook’s little interrogation.

“I’m really sorry if it’s any trouble…” Hamin starts, “I was just wondering if you guys changed the wifi password… It’s been a while since I was last here. Sorry.” He stands there hesitantly, obviously sensing the tension between you and Jungkook who takes to replacing the bottles of syrup behind you.

“Oh! No, it’s no trouble at all,” you say quickly and move to grab a sticky note so you can write down the server and password. “Actually, I forgot to make a new poster for the wifi since we changed our service provider last week. Sorry.”

“It’s okay, thank you Y/N,” he smiles meekly and turns on his feet. “No worries.” You’re still watching after him when you see him sit down across from Hongwon.

Ahhhhh …so he was meeting Hamin. Hamin is friends with cute emo boy.

Jungkook’s voice breaks you from your thoughts. “Did something happen?” He asks you tentatively. You sigh. “Why would you think that?” You avoid his gaze and start wiping down the counter.

“You’re not looking at me.” He points out.

You halt your movements and look at him. “What do you want me to say, Jungkook?”

“I don’t know! The truth! It just…it feels like something is bothering you.” He says quietly.

“I’m fine. Honestly, Jungkook. Nothing is bothering me. I’m fine.” You continue wiping down the counter. Out of the corner of your eye, you notice he flinches slightly when you say it a little too aggressively.

The front entrance bell dings once again and for a second you thank the heavens for yet another momentary distraction from Jungkook’s prying until you lift your head up to greet them.

“Hell—” your voice dies in your throat along with every ounce of confidence you thought you had in yourself should this encounter occur. You freeze for a moment, unsure of how to react to his unannounced visit.

Ah, so that’s what it is, Jungkook realizes. He decides to let the scene unfold a bit before he intervenes.

“What are you doing here?” You demand immediately.

“Y/N…When are you taking a break? Can we talk?…Please?”

“I’ve had my break. I can’t talk. I’m working.”

“Just five minutes, please bab—”

“Don’t call me that.” You mentally scold yourself for the way your voice cracks slightly when you say it.

“Okay, I’m sorry.  I just…when are you off? I’ll wait for y—”

“I’m not talking to you!” You yell, unconsciously taking a few steps back every time he takes one forward, even though there’s a counter that separates you both. The volume of your outburst startles Jungkook beside you, realizing how the exchange is slowly gathering the attention of everyone in the cafe.

“I don’t want to talk to you,” You repeat softly “Please respect that, Jaewon. You should leave.” You refuse to look at him, instead opting for the dirty tiles on the floor. He doesn’t say anything as he takes his leave. Your only sign he’s gone is the sound of the bell as the door closes after him.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Half of your lunch break has passed when you finish relaying all of the details to Jungkook, who has finished his shift but stayed back to talk to you.

“He’s a fucking piece of shit! He doesn’t deserve you, Y/N.” Jungkook paces around the break room with his hands on his hips. When he saw you tense at the arrival of Jaewon, he figured that you two had probably just gotten into a heated argument, at best. But he was less than ecstatic to hear otherwise when you revealed to him that he had actually cheated on you.

You sigh and shove your face into your arms on the table. “I’ll stay here and walk you home when you finish your shift.” You quickly pick your head back up. “What? No, Jungkook you don’t have to do that.”

“What if he starts harassing you when you’re walking home? He seemed adamant on getting a chance to talk to you.”

“I really don’t think he cares that much, Jungkook. Plus, even if he wants to talk to me, it’s not like I plan on giving him another chance. I’m not that dumb.”

“You’re not dumb. This isn’t your fault okay?” He remains quiet for a second before he grabs a chair and scoots it close to you, sitting on it backwards. “Listen. He doesn’t deserve you. Anyone who is stupid enough to throw you away like that is a fucking idiot. You deserve someone who will treat you like a queen.”

You chuckle lightly but say nothing, keeping your gaze cast on the floor. “If you won’t let me walk you home,” he continues “at least text me when you leave work and let me know right when you get home. Okay?”

“Jungkook,” you laugh, “you do know it’ll still be light out when I’m off right?.”

“That doesn’t matter. People do bad shit at any time of the day Y/N, they don’t care.”

“Alright, alright. Yes, dad.” you joke.

“I think I like daddy better.”

“Ew, Jungkook.”

“I’m just kidding! But on a serious note, please be careful, alright? If he gives you any trouble, call me. I’ll have you know I’ve been taking boxing lessons recently.” He says proudly.

“Are you actually concerned or is your ego really that big?” you deadpan.

He whines and grabs your hands. “Y/N. Hyeri will kill me if anything happens to you. You do know that right?” You push his hands away.

“You asshole! So you just want to get on Hyeri’s good side!”

“Noooo, I do care! Hyeri is just a plus! I swear!”

You roll your eyes playfully, “Yeah, yeah whatever. Go home, Junglebook.”

“Fine,” he pouts, grabbing his backpack and putting his bucket hat on his head. “Don’t forget to text me and call me if anything okay?”

“I will, I will.”

“Okay. Bye Y/N, get home safe.”

“You too Jungkookie.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Me: the one across from the Chinese restaurant right? [7:50 AM]

Hamin: yea the Grind [7:52 AM]

Hamin: I’ll be there in 10 [7:53 AM]

Hongwon stuffs his phone in his back pocket and shivers slightly. Hamin sure had some nerve making him wait. Especially when it was this damn cold. So goddamn early too.

The pair were in the middle of working on a song together and their deadline was steadily approaching. To be honest, they had been pushing it off so much because it just wasn’t coming together. Something wasn’t clicking. With just two weeks left, they figured they had to try to conjure up some lyrics that at least sounded decent.

Hey, I have an idea! Let’s wake up at the ass crack of dawn when our brain juices are hardly flowing! Surely we’ll make a masterpiece this way! He has no idea what the hell was Hamin thinking, because he sure as hell wouldn’t do this to himself intentionally.

He parks his motorcycle on the side of the curb and kicks the kickstand to keep it in place. He squints at the sign of the coffee shop, making sure he’s at the right place. He sighs, finding that unfortunately he is, and his ass will indeed have to get into work mode. He drags himself to the door, pulling on it and immediately noticing the lack of people upon entering. He silently thanks his friend for making at least one smart decision in this dumb plan of his. Looking around for free tables, he mentally picks out an empty table to claim by the window.

“Welcome! I’ll be there in just a moment!”

Hongwon nods at you silently, sweeping his eyes around the coffee shop. He notes that the decor is quite minimalistic, which he appreciates. He hates it when coffee shops try to do the most with overly expensive and fragile looking tea cups and such adorning the walls.

“Good morning. What can I get for you today?”

“Mornin’,” he smiles at you, the sullen look you had before you plastered a smile on your face, not escaping him.

He briefly looks down at the menu, even though he already knows what he’s going to order. Hamin likes americanos right? Who doesn’t? Even if he doesn’t, it serves him right for making him get up so early. “Can I get two medium iced americanos, please?”

“Of course.” He watches you punch in his order, your teeth biting into your lip in concentration. Your hair is neatly plaited into a braid, some strands falling loosely around the frame of your face.

“Can I get a name for the order?”

“Hongwon,” he says, watching you write his name on two cups.

“Your drinks will be ready soon.”

“Thanks,” Hangwon takes his receipt and finds the table he had picked near the window. He fishes out his phone and opens up his conversation with Hamin.

Me: I ordered drinks [8:12 AM]

Me: why is ur noodle looking ass taking so damn long??? [8:13 AM]

Chamin: fuck you I had to take my sister to school dingus [8:15 AM]

Chamin: i’m almost there chill i’ll buy u lunch or smth [8:15 AM]

Me: hell yeah [8:16 AM]

Me: screenshotting this [8:16 AM]

Hamin: why do i already regret that [8:19]

Hongwon chuckles and puts his phone down on the table. The inside of the coffee shop is warm, baked goods and coffee beans wafting through the air with dark mahogany bookshelves gracing the walls. If he’s being truthful, he would never step into a place like this on his own even. Although now that he’s sitting here he finds himself enjoying it. He guesses he’s thankful for the quiet seeing as though he actually has shit to get done. Usually though, his scene is more a rowdy one.

Hongwon watches you as work, joking around with your coworker, whose name he catches is Jungkook. He notices again how your smiles seem halfhearted, always keeping your gaze on the floor. He stops himself there. He’s over analyzing everything about you when he doesn’t even know you.

“Hongwon?” your coworker calls out.

He stands to receive his drinks, mentally cursing Hamin for making him look like a loner with two drinks. He sighs and glances outside the window to people watch. He taps his fingers along the wood of the table. I guess I can work in this atmosphere. Hamin’s lucky he had his morning cigarette.

Ding!

Speak of the devil. Hongwon glares at his friend as he makes his way towards him. Hamin smiles sheepishly, “Hey man sorry, Samantha couldn’t find her pink sparkly sweater and she ‘just had to wear it!’” He mocks his younger sibling’s voice in what he considers the whine of a 6 year old girl.

He cringes at his taller friend, “Eww, you’re forgiven just please never make that repulsive sound ever again.” Hamin punches his shoulder playfully, taking a seat across from him and reaching for the laptop in his bag. He fiddles around with for a bit before he sighs. “Shit, I can’t get a connection.” He squints at his laptop and then rises from his seat. “Hold on, I’ll be right back.”

“Sure,” Hongwon dismisses half heartedly; too busy going over lyrics he has written in an old notebook, trying to pick something they could potentially use for the track they had been agonizing over for weeks.

“Hey Y/N?” Hongwon watches as you meet him at the counter, smiling at him apologetically. He wonders how well you two know each other. He shakes his head and continues to bury himself in lyrics. He should be focused on this and not on things that don’t concern him. What was wrong with him? Must be the lack of sleep, he thinks. He sighs out loud thinking he could use another cigarette.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“Undress the pants like Young B,” Hamin slaps his hand on his thigh and laughs like he just said the funniest joke on the planet. “That would be fucking hilarious! God, I still can’t believe you did that.”

“Oh my god, dude! That would be sooo fucking funny!” he says, sarcasm dripping from his words. “Fuck you! I was drunk, alright. And just for that, I will add that in so suck my dick.” Hongwon smirks and types it out on the lyrics file. The taller boy puts his hands up in mock apology, “Sorry, I don’t swing that way.”

“Go to hell.”

“Are you really putting that in there?”

“What do you think I’m doing?”

Hamin peeks at the laptop. “Damn, didn’t think you’d actually do it. Gimme creds though.”

“You’re really fuckin’ shameless you know that?”

Hamin is about to reply when your voice raises an octave. “What are you doing here?”

They both turn to look at the scene where you stand behind the counter, backing away slightly from the man in front of you.

“Y/N…When are you taking a break? Can we talk? Please?”

“I’ve had my break. I can’t talk. I’m working.” You reply curtly.

“Just five minutes, please bab—”

You flinch slightly at the word, “Don’t call me that.” It’s clear that you don’t seem too keen on talking to him. He puts two and two together and decides that this guy is probably your boyfriend. “I’m not talking to you!” You yell at him. You’re obviously upset with something he did to you, and much to his surprise, he leaves without too much of a fuss.

The patrons of the cafe had all been watching the whole thing, the shop deathly quiet until he takes his leave.

“Poor Y/N…” Hamin says before turning back to the work in front of him.

“Yeah,” he agrees “sounded rough.” He watches as your manager comes out upon hearing the commotion, your coworker explaining the situation before you’re ushered to what he assumes is probably the breakroom. “You know her?” he asks nonchalantly.

“Yeah, I met her when I first started coming here a few months back. She’s really sweet, she’s our age actually. I guess something happened with her boyfriend...”

“Huh,” he responds, taking this information quietly, trying not to appear too interested.

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Work after Jungkook went home became increasingly boring. Your other coworker Yoongi replaced him, but the cafe only became more quiet as time passed. It wasn’t that Yoongi was boring, he was just more of an introvert. On the contrary, you often preferred Yoongi’s presence because the silence with him was never uncomfortable. Of course today, however, the silence is your enemy, leaving you alone with your thoughts and nothing to block them out.

There is one good thing that was left though. You glance at his table for what feels like the millionth time that day. The cute emo boy had remained in the cafe, writing away in his notebook, his taller friend long since gone. They had spent a good six hours chattering away with each other and hovering over that laptop ever since they came in this morning. It strangely brought some peace to you, seeing him so committed to whatever he was writing in his notebook. You felt embarrassed that he and Hamin had been witnesses to the whole fiasco with your ex boyfriend in front of everyone. You wish the earth would just swallow you whole already.

“Hey,” Yoongi says, popping his head out from behind the kitchen door frame “Boss says you’re good to go home, Seokjin just came in.”

“Oh, okay. Thanks Yoongi.” You go to move past him before he stops you.

“Hey,” he starts “…it’s getting pretty cold outside, so make sure you’re bundled up alright?”

Neither of you has to say it, but you both know his words carry a double meaning. He knows what happened. But Yoongi is not the type of guy to feed you bullshit just to comfort you. You smile at his small way of taking care of you, “I will.”

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The time on your phone reads 2:23 when you finally clock off and find yourself outside the shop staring up at the granite sky, the cold air biting at your skin.  Although the gloomy weather does nothing to lift your spirits, it’s still your favorite type of weather.

“Looks like it’ll probably start raining, huh?” The deep voice behind you startles you, and it’s not until you turn to look at him that you realize who it is. He stands there looking at the rapidly increasing clouds, with his lips turned down and his hands shoved in his pockets.

It’s cute emo boy. “Huh?” he looks at you, tilting his head in confusion. Shit, did you say that out loud?  “A-ah-uh…you’re Hamin’s friend, right?” you blurt out. “Saw you guys sitting together.”

“Oh, uh yeah,” he nods, scratching the back of his neck and looking out into the street, “he suggested we meet for a project since he really likes the coffee here.”

“I think he likes more the fact that I give him free drinks sometimes rather than the coffee itself,” you giggle to yourself. Your nose crinkles slightly when you do, shaking your head to yourself in amusement. Cute, he thinks. Wait, what the hell? Did he just think that about a random girl he just met? Damn he really needed to get laid.

“Well,” you say, pushing your bag up higher on your shoulder. “I should probably get going before it starts to rain.” You begin to walk in the direction of your apartment when he internally begins to panic.

“Oh—uh, I’m actually walking this way too,” he blurts. Why the hell did he say that???

“Oh really? Guess we can walk together then,” you laugh.

“Uh yeah, sure,” he shrugs casually.

You both begin your trek “home” in silence. Neither of you speak, not quite knowing what to say but wanting to say something. Hongwon mentally chastises himself for being such a fool and irrationally lying to you just so he could talk to you for a bit more. He doesn’t even know why he said that but he reasons that it’s just because you’re Hamin’s friend and he probably wouldn’t want you walking alone. Even if it was still day time.

“I’m Hongwon by the way,” he blurts.

You stifle a laugh with your hand, “I know, I took your order this morning remember?” Fucking idiot. “I’m Y/N,” you say.

“Er well, I didn’t really think you’d remember,” he says lamely.

“Of course, I did! Oh, right!” you say suddenly, “you mentioned you were working on a project with Hamin. What kind of project is it? If you don’t mind me asking” you add.

Hongwon watches you from the corner of his eye; your eyes trained on your feet, fingers playing with the fringes of the scarf around your neck. He looks away and smiles slightly at your politeness. “I don’t mind,” he shoves his hands into the warmth of his hoodie pockets, suddenly shy. “We’re working on a song. I uh—we write music.” He feels nervous somehow, saying that to you. He avoids saying the words “SoundCloud” and “rapper” in fear that you’d laugh at him. He knows there isn’t the best of reputations associated with soundcloud rappers. Not that he’s embarrassed of being one himself. He just inexplicably wants to make a good impression on you.

Your lips form into a little ‘o’ at his admission. “Really,” you breathe, a puff of air coming from your mouth when you do. “That’s so cool!” Hongwon shoots his head towards you at your reaction. “Huh, I always wondered what Hamin was up to working on that laptop of his for so many hours! So, you guys in a band or something?” you ask him, your eyes sparkling with curiosity.

“Um no, not really…” he replies, still taken aback at your reaction. “You must be pretty good then. Since you guys were working in there for so long,” you tease. Hongwon flushes, remembering how Hamin had left hours before him since they had surprisingly been able to power out some good lyrics. He only stayed behind to work on some of his own stuff though, he argues to himself.

“Ah well, we have a deadline to meet so we kind of had to,” he admits, scratching the back of his neck. “A deadline? Wow, I guess it’s really serious then. That’s really cool,” you smile. “Might have to ask you to play me something of yours one day.” You flush at your own words when you realize what they imply and backtrack immediately. “If you ever plan on coming back to the Grind that is,” you bring your hands up in front of you, coming to a stop. “If not, maybe I can convince you and Hamin with a drink on the house,” you laugh nervously.

“Of course I’ll be back! I-I mean, we…err, I really liked your coffee,” he stutters. Hongwon internally slaps himself. You had an iced americano, you idiot! Just how exotic and delicious is that?! And quit acting like a 5 year old girl!

“Awesome! I basically live there so you’re bound to see me sometime,” you laugh softly. “Well, this is me,” you say pointing to a street behind you. “Thanks for walking with me, Hongwon. I know it’s probably only because I’m friends with Hamin, but I still really appreciate it.”

“Hey, I enjoyed the walk just as much as you did. Besides, I was going this way anyways,” he looks away, scratching his cheek.

“I guess I’ll see you around then?” you ask, walking backwards.

“Sure,” he calls out, putting a hand up in farewell.

Okay so, in hindsight this was probably not his best idea. Hongwon looks up at the stormy sky as small raindrops begin to fall from the sky. He sighs dejectedly and begins his walk back to his motorcycle. Oh yes, let me walk with you! I’m going this way anyway! Tell that to the Venom X-22 GT you left parked on the side of the curb, moron.

part II

#young b #yang hongwon #khiphop #kpop fanfiction #kpop imagines #yang hongwon x reader #indigo music

[bohemiansweede]

The Caregiver

The Caregiver

Fanfic

Pairing Roger Taylor Reader

Warnings Smut 🔞

Agegap

A/N Please like and reblog or if you want leave a comment

Thank You

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- Oh Thank you so much Y/N, Mrs Lewis is my last one for the day but I really have to...

- It's ok Linda, I cover up for you, honestly.. It is ok.

I was so nice to everyone that I often forgot about myself, tonight it was my turn to cook on the chelter and before that my laundry really had to get organised... And the dishes, omg... Well it seamed that I had to do that one another night..

- You are such a rock Y/N.. How can I ever thank you? Mrs Lewis is a sweet old lady, you just have to be there on time and shop after her list, otherwise no problem.. Oh.. Right.. Almost forgot.. The bus.. Make sure you time it in.. It runs just once in an hour

- Ok, got it.. Have a nice dinner now.. Don't think about me, I smiled little sarcastic and headed out towards the bus stop

Jeez.. Well... I had nothing against helping people, the opposite frankly, I loved it, but it was a loooong time since I gaved myself some me time... And by that I should probably mention that it was about time that I had a good lay too..

With a cringy noise and a sigh, the bus stopped right by my feet

I asked the driver just in case where the closest stop was to the grocery store

The list was not that long but she was very specific what she wanted, down to the exact pound of cheese the special sausage at the butcher, her favourite olive oil, etc etc

I went in at butchers first and took it of the list, next was the post-office, I sighed.. There were tons of people inside and I just needed a few stamps for the letters. Just the thought of the fucking bus me freaked out.. Perhaps I should take the groceries first..

I went out again, it was a good choise to take my coat because it was cold today, but I still wore the shorter skirt from the lunch with Linda and that I regretted now

I grabbed a basket in the store and started to fill it.. The note was slightly wrinkled and it was little hard to see.. Usually I didn't have any problems with my eyes but..

- Ohh.. I.. ohh.. sorry..

I fell forward on my knees and almost grabbed a strangers legs

- Are you alright miss?

He reached out his hand

I looked up and saw straight up in a pair of gentle blue eyes

- Typical me... Ms Clumpsy..

I picked up the list from the floor which now also was dirty and wet

- Shopping for Mrs Lewis?

Guess she was well known

I brushed my knees of and took the basket which he had picked up from the floor

- Thank you, ehh.. yes.. Yes I am

- You better not be late then

He smiled and winked at me

I just stood and stared after him like my feets were glued to the floor, he was the most attractive man that I ever seen, maybe in his late 40's, the hair had just begun to turn grey and he had wrinkles around his eyes when he... Fuck.. The bus...

I sped up and went from isle to isle and grabbed my things.. There.. Just the olive oil then..

Of course on the top shelf

- Hello again.. Let me get that one for you dear

- Ohh.. H.. Hi..

My heart skipped a beat

He was soooo handsome and.. Yes... Hot.. Could I say a man in my dad's age was hot?

- We have to stop meeting like this.. I'm Roger

I took his warm strong hand in mine, wonder if he was married.. kids

- Y/N

When the olive oil was in the basket I went to the cashier, I had pretty good time.. Until I froze...

- Shit...

I grabbed the stuff and ran out, the post office was still occupied with people and the bus would leave in 10...

- Fuck...

The little kind old lady would turn into a witch.. A monster or maybe worse...

A car pulled in next to me, and when the window went down I saw him...

- Looks like you need a ride love.., did you miss the bus?

How happy I was to see this man right yet again

He asked if I was new at this job, and I explained that it was not even my job, he said he was sure of that Mrs Lewis was going to be satisfied with me anyway and I didn't have to worry

- I wait in the car while you go in to her

- But.. The bus stop is...

- No, I don't want to hear it... I am right here ok?

I don't think Linda or anyone had delivered groceries that fast before, I even managed to borrow her phone to cancel the chelter dinner... I had totally different things in mind

- Y/N.. I.. I was wondering if you wanted a cup of coffee?

- Coffee?

I didn't want to laugh but he sounded so cute and little nervous

- Yeah.. I.. Well.. There is not much coffeeshops around here and and.. Ehh.. Well.. Damn... Thing is.. I can literally be your dad.. but..

I silenced him with my finger on his lips, he swallowed hard and let out a shaky breath

Then I could not hold it anymore, he was like gasoline on my body that had cached fire, I crashed my lips onto his and at once he opened his mouth and met my tongue, I moaned in his mouth and his fingers tangeled in my hair

- Ro.. Roger.. Let's go... home

- Mmmmm... I would love to.. But... You have let go of my shift gear hunnie...

We both laughed, the situation was kinda weird brutal.. comic.. sexy

His lips was still burning on mine, I couldn't stop looking at him now and then during the drive

He did a slight left turn up on a gravel road and I saw a huge mansion

- You live.. He.. here?

- Yea.. I do.. Every other week I am alone..

There was my answer, divorced.. kids

He stopped the car right outside the door and gaved my knee a gentle squeeze

- You don't change your mind dear?

- No... Not a chance...

He grabbed his bags and went straight the kitchen

I was totally amazed by the fireplace and how beautiful everything was.. Really tastefully decorated..

I suddenly felt his strong arms around me..

He kissed my hair and my neck and his warm breath made my skin prickle with tiny dots

- You are so beautiful hunnie.. so young.. Almost untouched..

- I am n..

- Ssscchhh... I want to discover you... It is MY first time with you..

He took my hand and I followed him upstairs into the bedroom

We stod across eachother and my heart was beating so hard that he must have heard it

He cupped my face with his big hands and kissed me, the kiss was more passionate yet hungry

I tried to unbutton his shirt but I just fumbled, he noticed what I was doing so he took over

- Let me take care of you now darling... It is your turn to relax

He did not know how right he had

As he enjoyed every moment, he took his time undressing me and exploring my body, he was so different, he was a gentleman he was older.. he knew what he was doing..

Every inch of me was covered by tiny tiny kisses and nibbles

- Roger.. I whimpered.. please..

- I know I know.. Soon...

I could not hold it anymore and he knew it, he kissed the sensitive skin above my breasts while he cupped them, I felt how hard he was towards my leg and he groaned a little when he finally circled my nipple with his tongue

- Ahhhh God ... Ohhh ..

It felt like electricity in my whole body, I grabbed his head and even if it felt so good what he was doing I needed more, I pushed his head down.. further down.. to my dripping core

He looked up at me and gaved me a mischievous smirk

That totally changed everything

He grabbed a pillow from next to me and tucked it under my butt, then he grabbed my thighs and pushed my legs wide apart

He took his palms under my ass so I opened up more for him, this man was an oral expert.. Shit... He sloppy kissed my pussy and dragged his flattened tounge up and down along my folds, I arched my back and tried to grab the sheets but he pinned me down

He then circled my clit so fast that my eyes rolled back in my head he sucked it in his mouth almost nibbled on it

- Ahhh shit Rog Fuck... Ahhhh damnit..

He continued to lick with a rapid pace and it was not long until my walls started to collapse

- Shit Omg I... Iam... Ahhhh Gooood... Ahhhh

I squirted on his tounge and he was quick to drink the full amount of me

- Mmm... You taste delicious mmm...

- Omg.. It was... Do you want me to...

- No... I said I wanted to take care of you...

He smirked and kissed his all the way up to my lips again..

- Now.. I didn't exactly plan this.. Are you...

He frowned a bit

- Yes, I am safe, I am on the pill..

- Glad you said that... Cause cannot fuckin wait any longer

I felt how his erected cock trailed near my entrance, after the tip was inside me it just took a few seconds for me to adjust to his size

- Omg hunnie, you feel so fuckin amazing.. Shit..

His head fell back and his pace increased, his hips snapped and I bucked my body up to meet his

- Ohhh Roger... Fuck.. Ahhh... Harder... Harder... Ohhh...

He took a grip on the bed frame and the other one he teared apart the sheets, sweat was dripping from his forehead down on my neck

I felt that he was close and I was not far behind myself

With almost pornographic sounds we came undone together, he emptied himself deep inside of me and my final contractions maked sure there was nothing left

- Ohh God.. You were amazing.. Truly amazing...

- Roger... Wow.. I... I have no words...

- Not so bad for an ol...

I smacked his upper arm

- Don't say it...

We laid tangled together for a bit, I could sense that he was thinking of something

- Are you sure you don't know who I am love?

I froze a little, what have I missed

- Should I... I mean... I am not from here...

He chuckled a little..

- Well... I don’t know if I should be honoured or nervous.. It was long time ago since nobody didn't know who I was

I was even more confused

Well... He was in late 40s.. Maybe he had put on some weight?... Hair.. Was it the hair? The glasses?

- I am hungry love, do you want something to eat?

- Sure.. OK...

He kissed me softly and he gaved me a bathrobe that I could borrow

I took a glimpse in the mirror.. I looked totally fucked, and I was.. but I happy too.. There could absolutely be something with this guy whoever he was.. Politics? No..

And kids? Fine.. As long as it is ok with the ex...

I bounced downstairs and heard him hum on something for himself in the kitchen

On the way there I passed a big wall... A wall full of gold disc's platinum records...

WOW... Really...

I palmed my forehead and did an eyeroll.. I had totally missed out that it was him

In the corner of my eye I saw that he was watching me and he walked in my direction

- I... I'm sorry... I didn't tell you

- And I'm sorry I didn't recognise you...

- Sssscchhh... You know what.. Mrs Lewis doesn't know either..

He kissed me softly

- So.. are you staying?

- I am not leaving.. Well.. Maybe just for posting a letter

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Enjoy more reading in my

#Roger taylor #Agegap #roger meddows taylor #roger taylor smut #roger taylor x reader #roger taylor imagine #Queen #queendom #queen band #queen smut #90s roger taylor #Fanfic #Smut

[hockeytrashgoblin]

Just one date? ~Part 7

A/N: YALL. I CANNOT EVEN EXPLAIN THE HASSLE OF GETTING THIS INTERNET SET UP AND ITS NOT EVEN SET UP RIGHT FOR FUCK SAKES. but here’s another part. very smutty. im not sorry even a little. also the Mitch fic is like 30 thousand words so that will be split into parts as well so look out for that.

It had been a couple weeks in the new place with Alex. We were having the time of our lives. I had never been happier before in my life. Emily still hadn’t apologized and I wasn’t going to first so I was kind of on the outs with the wags but I didn’t care too much. I’d never really fit in with them anyway so it wasn’t the end of the world. I’d moved seats though so I could cheer and be in the game without all the gossip. Alex liked it better because I was sitting behind his bench now instead of in a box where he couldn’t see me. He could see and celebrate with me now and I really like being that support for him so it worked out really well for us both.

We had a perfect schedule going so it was a pretty seamless transition. I worked weekdays from 6-3 so for the most part I was home when he was. He had morning practices and meetings so usually it worked out that I could be home and we could cook and eat dinner together which I loved. The house was pretty big and empty when he was away on road trips but it was good for us to get some alone time too. It was really perfect.

Todays was one of the rare weekends when he didn’t have to play so we had just been laying around cuddled up all morning. Right now, we were watching a nature documentary, something I picked to break up the hours of family guy. It was his favourite show but I could only handle so much of it at once. But the same went for Alex. He could only take so much of my documentaries before he was too bored to concentrate anymore. He liked to say it was because I was much smarter than him but that just wasn’t true, although I had stopped arguing him on it.

“Hey Alex?” I asked looking up at him.

“Uh oh.”

“What ‘uh oh’?”

“Oh come on (y/n). Anytime you look at me like that it’s an uh oh. What do you want to do that you think I won’t be on board with?”

“It’s not that I don’t think you’ll be on board, I just think I’ll need to convince you maybe.”

“Just tell me what it is cutie.” He said with a smile bringing his hands to rest on my hips.

“I want to make a garden.”

“Okay?”

“Alright I want to make a couple gardens.”

“How many?” he asked suspiciously.

“Well I mean there’s like two in the front and a big one in the back with no flowers or anything in them.”

“Okay that doesn’t sound too hard to fix.”

“I also want to build a whole new big garden for vegetables in the back corner of the yard.”

“There it is.” He yelled throwing his head back.

“Come on Alex please? I want to grow fresh vegetables.”

“Baby why? We can get all the fresh vegetables you want, organic, whatever.”

“Because I want to do it.”

“Why?”

“Because I want to.”

“But why?”

“Becaaaause I want to.”

“And you want to do all this on my only day off this week?”

“Well we don’t have to do all of it now. I’d really like to do the flowerbeds though. Come with me to the greenhouse? Please?”

“Fine but we’re only getting flowers.”

“Yes!”

“We’re only getting flowers.” He repeated as I dragged him up towards the door.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Let’s go.”

“You sure are excited for a few plants.”

“Yes. I love plants.”

“Well if it’s going to make you so happy I’m glad we’re doing it.” He took my hand in his and gave it a kiss before starting the car. We drove in relative silence, just music playing in the background. When we finally got there, I bolted out of the car making Alex laugh. I got on a big cart and looked at Alex who just raised his eyebrow at me.

“Push me, you ween!”

“I’m pretty sure those are not meant for people.”

“Hey I’m not as heavy as big bags of dirt!”

“Oh my god fine. Let’s go.” He rolled his eyes with a big smile and started pushing me through the aisles in the store to get to the plants outside. I waved at a couple of the workers who knew me by name making Alex laugh.  “Someone has been in here one too many times.”

“I love it here. My friend Briana has brought me here a bunch of times. We love the plant!” I yelled throwing my arms out making him laugh. He leaned forward and kissed my forehead before turning to the seasonal flowers.

“Come on baby let’s find some flowers.”

It was taking longer than expected I kept getting distracted and I couldn’t really decide what I wanted. I felt really bad because I could tell Alex wasn’t having fun anymore. I eventually decided on a bunch of pretty things with a bunch of colours. I also picked out a couple lawn decorations and by the end of it Alex was in a downright bad mood. We drove back in silence without the radio on and I was twitching and fiddling with my fingers nervously. I didn’t know why he was upset so I didn’t know how to fix it. Once we got to the house he just went inside without a word.

I decided to give him some space and started unloading the truck. It took a lot of trips but eventually I had carried everything from the front to the backyard. It had also taken a long time so I was hoping Alex had calmed down. Spoiler alert: he hadn’t. He was stomping around the kitchen when I walked in making all the cupboards rattle.

“Okay Alex what gives? I’m sorry alright?” I said getting his attention.

“Why are you sorry?”

“I don’t know! Obviously something at the greenhouse upset you and I don’t know what it is and so I’m just giving a blanket sorry.”

“God you have nothing to be sorry about. I’m not upset about going to the greenhouse. I’m just frustrated.”

“Why are you frustrated?”

“Babe, I’m frustrated.” He said putting emphasis on frustrated. I still didn’t get it and he could tell by my face. He rolled his eyes and started leaving the room. “Sex (y/n). I’m sexually frustrated. Happy?”

“God what a lil bitch.” I mumbled under my breath following him. “Alex stop walking away from me!” I yelled up the stairs.

“Just leave me alone.” He yelled back still walking away. I rolled my eyes and caught up to him quickly since there was nowhere to go up there.

“Can you stop? Why are you doing this?”

“Just go away.”

“No.” I said shoving him into the nearest wall. It shocked him into silence so that was nice. “Are you fucking done whining so I can fix your problem or what?”

“I’m not whining.”

“You’re literally throwing a fit because you want to fuck instead of just starting something. You could have just grabbed me or kissed me or something.” I was arguing but while I did I was taking his shirt off before moving to his pants. “Nah not you. Instead you just ignore me and stomp around the house like a fucking idiot.”

“I’m not throwing a fit and I’m not a fucking idiot.” He said harshly flipping us around so I was pushed against the wall. He started kissing my neck and unbuttoning my jeans. He shoved a hand inside them making me groan. “You’re the one who was too fucking busy today to notice me.”

“How do you figure that one?”

“When we woke up you just got up even though you felt me against you all hard and wanting. Then later on we were cuddling and I wanted to start something but you were too busy with your doc then you brought me all around, paraded me around your greenhouse friends hard. You never even noticed.” He growled rubbing himself on my thigh.

“You know I always want to fuck you should’ve said something.” I grumbled as he left more bites on my neck and shoulder. “You’re the one who told me I was being too much and too fucking cool it.”

“God damn babe I didn’t mean forever.” He pulled my shirt off me before slowly working my pants down and underwear down my legs. “I haven’t even seen your body in over a week.”

“You told me to-FUCK!” I yelled as his mouth made contact with the little bundle of nerves. “Told me to cool it-shit. I was waiting on you to ma-AH-make a move.”

“Is this enough of a fucking move?” he asked flicking his tongue on me making me yell. He lifted one of my legs on his shoulder. “Jump a little.”

“What?”

“Just do what I fucking say.” He gripped my hip hard and I did what he told me to. He had me completely stuck between him and the wall as he started fucking me with his tongue.

“Fuck Alex, fuck.” I grasped his hair hard as I enjoyed this new experience with my boy.

“Yeah? You fucking like that? Like my tongue fucking into you?”

“Yes.” I whined loudly.

“Now who’s whining like a little bitch.” He retorted biting my thigh hard making me yell.

“Alex, let me down. Lemme do something for you.”

“Not a fucking chance.” He chuckled before diving back in making me scream his name. He kept me pinned to the wall screaming and whining until I finished all over his face. Even then he didn’t stop, just kept going.

“Alex please. Sensitive.”

“I don’t fucking care. You’re going to cum again on my tongue. Like it or not. But I know you’ll like it. Isn’t that right baby?”

“Yes fuck, yeah.” I gasped out as he went back to work. Still being so sensitive it didn’t take much attention to have me falling over that edge again as he slowly worked his tongue in and out of me curling and wiggling it around.

“I’m going to let you down now okay?” I nodded and he let my feet fall. When they hit solid ground though they buckled and I ended up on the floor. “Fucking good one Bambi.”

“Shut the fuck up asshole.” I bit back as I tried to get up.

“No you stay there.”

“What Alex, come one let’s go to our room so I can take care of you.” I said feeling more than a little dazed still.

“No I’m going to take you apart right here on the hallway floor.”

“Ew Alex people walk here.”

“And now my baby is going to get fucked here. In a minute.” I groaned at that last part and he laughed. “You’re gonna take whatever I give you.”

“Then fucking give it to me Alex.”

“I will doll, don’t you worry I will.” He crawled up my body and took one of my nipples in his mouth. At the same time he started rubbing me fast and hard while he fingered me as well. He was sucking on my nipple so hard I was sure there was going to be a hickey covering the whole thing. All these sensations together where so overwhelming and I was still so sensitive from the first two times I came. It only took a minute for him to get me going again. At this point I was so sensitive that I was starting to have little ones almost constantly as he kept his hand movements up just shaking and screaming. I tried to bat his hand away but he pinned me down.

“You haven’t let me touch you in almost two weeks (y/n). Let me just enjoy your fucking body for a second.” Once he was happy with me being a blissed out floating mess he finally pulled his hand away. “Gonna fuck you now okay baby?”

“Mhm.” I nodded frantically. He pushed into me slowly and I whined pushing him away because of how sensitive I was feeling.

“Shh baby be good for me. It’ll feel good in a minute. Just relax okay?”

“Uh huh.” I nodded again and he pushed into me a little slower this time making me cum again. “Fuck Alex!”

“Baby you’re so sensitive, cumming on my cock already. How many is that now?”

“I dunno.” I mumbled.

“You don’t know?”

“Lost count. Too many.”

“Not enough.” He said picking up his pace making me whine again, making him chuckle. “You’re okay baby, I’ve got you.”

Between the sharp thrusts of his hips and the cold wooden floor sticking to my skin and his mouth all over me it didn’t take long before I came again. I saw spots that time and I couldn’t see. Couldn’t calm down at all. I hardly had any conscious thoughts left. They were all Alex. I felt like I wasn’t even in my own body anymore as I felt his hips pick up the pace in an erratic way that I knew somewhere in my mind that it meant he was close. He started touching me again and I finished for the last time just before he did. I heard him grunt and moan and then nothing.

I was in a floating sense of being. I couldn’t see or feel anything. I just felt good and I was floating. There was no other way to describe in. I had never felt better in my life, I could almost get lost in this nothingness. It was all just feeling good and quiet and calm finally after how worked up I had been. Alex had literally fucked me so hard I passed out and although I felt like I could pull through anytime I wanted, I didn’t want to yet. So I just stayed pleased and utterly blissed out in the quiet dark.

“(y/n)? Baby?” curse Alex for interrupting the quiet dark place. “Honey wake up, are you with me?” no. “God I’m so sorry.” I’m not. Do it again. Send me here every time. It was quiet again for a while but then I felt hands on me as well as Alex’s voice and the black quiet started to disappear. I tried to hold onto it but it slipped away and soon I was opening my eyes to Alex’s very worried face.

“Thank God.” He breathed hugging me and kissing my head. “Are you with me baby?”

“Mmm no.” he chuckled and that made me smile.

“I thought I fucking killed you or something.”

“Dick’s not that good.”

“Good enough to knock you the fuck out for an hour.”

“I was out for that long? It didn’t feel like it.” Everything was starting to become more clear around the edges. “Felt like I was only out for a couple minutes.”

“Yeah well you weren’t. Also if William or Ryan say anything to you about this I’m sorry.”

“Why the fuck did you tell them?”

“I didn’t know what to do! You were unconscious. I’ve never fucked someone into unconsciousness before. If you hadn’t woken up I didn’t know how to explain it to paramedics so I needed some advice. I was really worried about you. I didn’t think that was going to happen.”

“I didn’t think it was going to happen either. Oh well. If they say something they say something.”

“Are you passing out again?”

“No love, I’m tired. Come hold me. Also how did I get in bed?”

“I carried you over. I didn’t want you to get hurt laying on the floor.”

“You had no problem with it when you were fucking me into it.”

“Well I had a clear mind after and you were unconscious.”

“Whatever just come hold me.”

“Okay fine. Needy girl.” He said with a smile pulling me close to him. I hadn’t noticed that we were both dressed as well now. Well if you count underwear and t-shirts as dressed, that is.

“Are you good now? Done being so fucking cranky?”

“Yeah, I’m sorry. You were right I should’ve just said something.”

“You should’ve. I didn’t want to push or make you feel like I wasn’t respecting what you wanted that’s why I hadn’t been touching you or doing anything.”

“Next time you completely burn me out from sex I’ll be sure to say something when I need it. But I don’t think that’s a problem we need to deal with right now.”

“No we do not.” It was silent for a bit while he held me but then I felt him smirk against my head.

“So you really liked being fucked by my tongue huh?”

“Aleeeex you’re ruining this soft peaceful moment.” I whined looking back at him. “But yes it was fucking hot. I enjoyed it a lot. Something incredible about you being strong enough to hold me up against the wall and watching your tongue disappear into me drove me crazy.”

“Keep talking like that and We’ll have to do it again right now.”

“Don’t you get a single fucking idea.” I said smacking his hand away from my butt.

“Oh I have a single fucking idea.”

“Well get it out of here. I can’t handle anymore right now. Probably not anymore today. I’m fucking fried. My brain, my body, everything. The world is still fucking blurry.”

“That’s what good dick will do to a person.”

“Fuck off you cocky bitch.” I said laughing at him and hitting his chest.

“I love you.”

“I love you too babe.”

“Yeah but like I really love you. So much.”

“So do I Alex. You’re so important to me and I care about you so much.”

“I just wanted to make sure you knew after how moody and angry I’ve been the past little while. I didn’t want you to get the wrong idea and think I was tired of this. I’m not. I want to be with you for so long (y/n). As long as possible.”

“Awe baby you’re so lovely. I want you too, as long as you’ll have me.”

“Let’s take a nap and then we can plant all those flowers you bought, how does that sound baby?”

“That sounds great, love.”

It took no time at all for me to fall asleep and apparently, I stayed like that for a while. Alex woke me up with a worried expression. I had been out for a couple hours and wanted to make sure I was alive still. I got changed into some clothes I didn’t care about so I could go get my hands dirty and garden. Alex made this very difficult by grabbing me and touching me everywhere the whole time. I took my shirt off and he plastered himself to me grabbing my boobs. I took my pajama pants off and this man literally bit my ass. I had a bite mark. On my ass. I kicked him out of the room so I could finish dressing in peace but that didn’t really work either because once I was done he came back in while I was tying my shoes and just grinded against me. I yelled at him and brought him outside to move dirt around.

That let me tell you didn’t help. Watching Alex shirtless, sweaty, dirty and throwing things around was a lot. I didn’t get as much gardening done as I had hoped because we ended up fucking in the yard but there was always tomorrow for that.

#vegas golden knights #Vegas golden knights imagine #alex tuch #alex tuch smut #alex tuch x reader #alex tuch imagine #hockey #hockey smut #hockey imagine #hockey story

[daffodilon]

cafuné ii

cafuné - (brazilian portuguese)

“the act of running your fingers through your lover’s hair; among the few words that cannot be directly translated into english”

Pairing: Jungkook / ♀ Reader Rating: E for Explicit Genre(s): 🍭 Fluff, 🔞 Smut,  🍌 (Attempted) Humor WC: 10,448 Warnings: Sexual content, porn with feelings, shower sex, vaginal fingering, oral sex (f receiving), wet and messy, dirty talk, hair pulling kink, definitely some light hand and finger kink, like, jungkook fucking your mouth with his fingers, elements of exhibitionism, elements of possessiveness, excessive use of the word fuck, jungkook naked and soaking wet should be his own warning, baby boy jungkook, and as usual dom/sub dynamics if you squint. Maybe you don’t have to squint that hard. Obligatory warning for me trying to be funny. Un-betaed, but I have done my best to proofread it myself. 

Summary: 

Yesterday you accidentally tripped up. You fell, crashing and burning, stumbling your way through what could probably be called the World’s Clumsiest Confession, letting your roommate, Jungkook, know about your feelings for him. 

Incredibly, Jungkook returns your feelings, and you subsequently found yourself somehow blessed with a lap full of him, kissing you like you’re worth worshiping and grinding against your thigh until he fell apart in your arms at your encouragement. Unfortunately the two of you were interrupted before you got the chance to take it further, and you went to bed alone and unsatisfied, but not before Jungkook promised, beautiful and determined, that he’d make it up to you. 

Today, Jungkook makes it up to you. (And, since you’ve gone about things a little out of order, he asks you out properly to make that up to you, too.) 

If you haven’t read it, here’s part one. I highly recommend it! 

I have also, er. compiled a collection of... visual aids for the shower scene. You’re welcome.

“... Hey. Do you want to go out to dinner?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah, sure. Where do you want to go?”

“No, I mean. Uh. Do you want to go have dinner? With me?”

“Yeah, that sounds good, the fridge is basically empty anyway. Maybe we could stop at the grocery store on the way home.”

Jungkook huffs out an exasperated sigh.

“No, I mean, --I’m trying to ask you out to dinner with me. Like, on a date.”

You have to smile at him.

“Yeah, dumbass, and I’m trying to say yes.”

“You- Oh.” He blinks and huffs again, but this time it’s with a laugh, bringing up one hand to rub the back of his neck, as if suddenly shy.

“Come here,” You beckon him over to you, smiling, standing by the counter where you just put the hot water on for tea.

You extend your arms, reaching for his waist as he shuffles forward into your personal space. You bite your lip when you notice his eyes drop to your mouth like he can’t help it, before accepting the sweet kiss he presses there.

You’re the one who called him over, but your heart still jumps in your chest when your lips first touch. You let yourself get lost in it, inhaling through your nose and tilting your head to lean into the hand that finds its way into your hair.

It’s the first time you’ve had the chance to do this since yesterday, and it’s perfect. Just a hint of tongue and teeth, mostly the press of lips and the quietly bubbling excitement of something that’s still so new, new, new.

You break apart after a moment, and Jungkook asks,

“So, just to clarify here, you’re agreeing to come on a dinner date? To... You know. Date me?”

Jesus Christ, he’s cute.

“Jungkook, I am agreeing to date you. Effective immediately. Let’s go to dinner. Do you want it in writing?”

Jungkook smiles back at you big, “No, that’s okay.”

“Okay.”

You struggle a bit to turn around and find yourself a cup, mostly because Jungkook doesn’t seem inclined to let go. So you squirm in his arms until he gets the picture and lets you turn around, but then he pushes forward again until his chest is flush with your back and hooks his chin over your shoulder, so he’s wrapped around you completely. You resign yourself to your snuggly new fate and shuffle around the kitchen after your tea and your favorite infuser with him glued to your back. “Do you want a cup?”

“Yes. please.”

“Green?”

“Green.”

You turn your face toward his and plant a kiss on his cheek, just because you can. Because you want to, and you’re allowed to do that now. The thought calls up those giddy butterflies in your tummy again.

“So where do you want to go for dinner?” you ask.

“I don’t know, I was thinking someplace kind of nice, maybe.”

“Mm. Italian?”

“I like Italian. What about that winery place we were thinking of trying?”

“Are we talking about going out for dinner?” A new voice joins the conversation suddenly. “Good idea.”

“Oh! Tae.” You turn around together to face Taehyung, as he enters the kitchen toting a handful of dirty dishes and moves toward the sink to rinse them. “Did you just eat?”

“No,” Taehyung says with a straight face, moving his empty bowl and chopsticks behind his back. You narrow your eyes at him.

“Are you sure?”

Jungkook speaks up, still attached to your back and refusing to let go. His jaw moves against your shoulder when he says, without an inch of remorse, “Taehyung, you’re not invited.”

Taehyung pushes out his lower lip, and he looks like he’s about to complain, so you fill in, “It’s a date.”

Jungkook nods as best he can without lifting his head.

Taehyung looks from you, to Jungkook, back to you, and back to Jungkook again several times, like he’s trying to tell if this is some kind of prank. Then, suddenly, his shoulders fall back down to a normal place from where they’d been drawn up defensively.

“Oh, Jesus Christ, finally.” He sets down his dishes and makes a beeline straight for you, takes your face in his hands and says, “Thank god,” before planting a kiss square on your nose. While you’re still sputtering, he moves on to Jungkook, taking his face in his hands as well and giving a matching kiss to Jungkook’s scrunched up nose with a wet smack. “Thank fucking god. You two are the worst. I love you both so much. Go enjoy your candlelit evening. I ate all the leftover stir fry.”

You sigh, still pawing at your nose with the corner of your sleeve, feeling a little like a cat trying to have a bath. “I knew it. That was going to be my lunch tomorrow.”

“Sorry. Pick up some more yogurts while you’re out?” Taehyung asks, flashing his teeth and raising his eyebrows, “Please? You’re my favorite roommates and I love you the best.”

“You just said we’re the worst!” Jungkook protests in a petulant tone from somewhere near your ear.

“That’s true,” Taehyung nods solemnly. “Jungkook is no fun to play Mario Kart with anymore. He loses on purpose every time you walk through the living room just to get up and go talk to you.”

“Wait, he what?”

“... And you never side with me against Jungkook like you used to. When I say, ‘Yah, Jungkookie, you’re working out too much, roll your sleeves back down,’ you used to take my side but now you just get all blush-y and mumble-y, and make excuses why you need to be in the kitchen when Jungkook gets out of the shower after he gets home from the gym.”

All you can do is splutter nervously, “What? When have I ever-”

“And don’t even get me started on that.” Taehyung rounds on Jungkook again.

He’s trying to wag his finger accusingly but he’s wearing, for lack of a better description, what appears to be a My Little Pony crop top, so the effect is a little ruined. It’s unclear at a glance whether the shirt in question was actually designed to be a crop top or simply a normally fitted shirt for a significantly more child-sized person.

To be clear, it’s actually extremely cute on him. Most things are. It’s just not particularly threatening.

He steamrolls on, clearly having a lot to say on the subject. “Do you go to the one gym in the world that doesn’t have showers? Why are you waiting until you get home to shower anyway? I’ll tell you why. It’s because you like to walk in the door all sweaty and make sure she’s watching before you fill up your water bottle in the sink and flex while you drink it. You’re the worst. Both of you. But I forgive you. Because I love you. Buy me yogurt?”

Taehyung reaches the end of his tirade so abruptly it leaves you in a mild state of shock, but not so shocked you can’t at least defend, “I spend so much time in this kitchen because I like it here. This is my kitchen. I cooked that stir fry you just ate, Kim Taehyung.”

“Yeah, and I shower at home because there’s, um. Better water pressure,” Jungkook pipes up.

“Sure,” Taehyung says, grinning wide enough to let you know he doesn’t believe you in the slightest. Then his expression softens, “Congratulations, both of you. I mean it.” He looks from one of you to the other, and turns to go.

“Love you, too, Tae,” Jungkook calls after him.

“Sorry Taehyung. Thank you, we do love you,” You echo.

He waves a hand in acknowledgement without turning around, disappearing the way he came.

“... Do you really lose at Mario Kart just to come talk to me?”

“Not ever, once in my life,” Jungkook asserts staunchly and without a moment’s hesitation. “Do you wait around for me to get out of the shower on purpose?”

“Taehyung is a snitch and I am going to get him back.”

Jungkook laughs and uses his grip on your waist to spin you around and kiss you.

“I knew you liked the muscles.”

You run your hands over his biceps and squeeze gently, and Jungkook obligingly flexes a little, just for your benefit. You swallow hard.

“They’re... fine.”

He laughs again.

“I do feel a little bad. Taehyung may or may not have been the one to deal with the brunt of my late night breakdowns about you.”

“Kind of him not to bring that one up just now.”

“Very kind,” He agrees.

“Who knew he was pulling his punches back there. Want to bring him home some food?”

“I will take tiramisu in a to go box, thank you!” Taehyung’s booming voice comes carrying from not at all that far beyond the doorway.

Jungkook winces. “Oh no.”

You chuckle at his consternation. “Oh, yes.”

“Oh, yeah,” Comes the Kool Aid Man impression from right around the corner.

Jungkook closes his eyes and lets out a long-suffering sigh. “Goodbye, hyung,” he says in a pointed tone.

Silence greets you both. “... Do you think he’s gone?”

“Who cares?” You shrug.

“I care.”

“You do?” You raise an eyebrow. “Well. That wasn’t what it seemed like, yesterday, when you-”

“Oh my god,” Jungkook yelps, as soon as he catches on to exactly what direction that sentence was headed, silencing you with one sweaterpaw and an expression of panic on his face.

Your shoulders shake with barely controlled laughter.

“Shut up!” he squawks, breaking into a higher register. “Oh my god. We are not going to talk about this right now. Are you going to shower before dinner?” He changes the subject quickly. You nod, looking up at him with mirth in your eyes. “Okay. Okay, you go do that. And then change into something nice.”

Jungkook steers you around, pushing you towards the bathroom determinedly, refusing to lift his hand from your mouth until you’re safely over the threshold and standing in front of the bathroom sink. “Come get me when you get out?”

All you can do is laugh at him some more and nod again, and he closes the door behind himself, looking flustered. It fills you with satisfaction to know that you put that flush on his face.

It’s been approximately thirty minutes when you hear three quick knocks on the door in the middle of shaving.

“Hello?” You call, “Hang on a sec, I’m just-”

--The door begins to open, and with a lurch of panic you realize Jungkook must never have locked the door. “I’m in the shower! I’ll be-”

“-It’s just me.”

“... Jungkook?” You squint through the steam and the frosted glass of the shower doors. The drafty rush of air from the moment he let himself in pricks cold against your skin as warm air escapes before he closes the door behind him.

“You’re taking forever in here.”

Recognition softens the sharp edge of the panic of being walked in on, but only so far. You are still naked in the shower, after all.

“What are you doing?” You blink hard a few times to clear your vision, trying to see what the blurry shape of him that moves around the bathroom is up to.

“I’m taking a shower with my girlfriend.”

“Jungkook!!” You squeak, at the same time as the shower door slides open without warning and a very naked Jungkook steps over the edge of the bathtub to join you. “Oh my god, give me a little warning, first! What the fuck!” You protest, trying to hide your blush, doing your best to cross one arm across your chest and conceal yourself by crossing your legs with what you hope is subtlety. Your right hand still grips your shaving razor.

Jungkook only laughs at you.

“I was starting to get worried there wouldn’t be time for me to take my shower, too. Will you let me get my hair wet? I’m getting cold over here.”

You step around him carefully, letting him have a turn under the warm spray, facing you. He closes his eyes and lets the water cascade over his face, sighing. You can’t help but notice the goosebumps that cover his exposed skin, and will yourself not to look down, heart thudding steady at a mile a minute.

But then, “Don’t be shy,” He says softly, with his eyes still closed. “You’ll make me feel shy.”

“O- Okay. I’ll um. Do my best,” You tell him, forcing yourself to let your hand fall from its protective place on the opposite shoulder and put the razor down while you’re at it.

Jungkook raises his arms to push his hair off his forehead, brushing it out of his eyes and smoothing it back over his scalp with his hands, muscles bunching in his arms on either side of his head.

Christ.

He’s so casually breathtaking, it’s unfair.

It makes you itch to touch, so you take a breath and just... do. You reach out, resolving to focus on him as opposed to yourself and not to overthink it, and let your hands find his shoulders, smoothing over the skin and catching the water.

You find as you do so that he seems to let out a breath as if he was holding it, relaxing some more under your touch and letting his arms fall down to his sides again.

You cradle his face in your hand and are overcome with a rush of endearment as he nuzzles your palm and leans into the touch, and slots open his eyes to read your expression.

“Can I wash your hair?” You ask him softly, carding the fingers of your free hand through the wet strands.

“Mhmm,” He nods, blinking water out of his eyes, voice a low rumble that sends tremors through your very bones. “If you want.”

You want, all right.

You want.

You swallow hard around the lump your heart makes in your throat, and tamp it down as best you can.

You reach for his shampoo, only to be arrested by his quiet noise of dissent. “Can you, um.” He pinks slightly under the spray of hot water. “Can you use yours on me instead?”

“Mine?”

“I like the smell. You don’t have to.”

“No, that’s okay. We can use mine.”

You lather your hands in your favorite fragrant shampoo, managing to remember at the last second that you don’t need as much product for him as you’d use yourself, and start to work the sudsy mess gently into Jungkook’s hair, pulling him towards you and out from directly under the shower head.

A look of absolute peace crosses Jungkook’s face, and he lets out a happy sigh as you massage his scalp with your fingertips, the gorgeous scent filling your noses.

The smell of this shampoo accounts for approximately ninety percent of the reason you buy it, something like lemon, like jasmine, like roses, or lilies maybe. Light and beautiful with a gentle musky scent underpinning it all, grounding the rest of the floral notes in something quietly sultry.

And maybe... if you’re being honest, you’ve been a drugstore shampoo girl most of your life, but then one fateful day you received a sample in a bag of freebies. You tried it out once, and, yeah you were impressed with the smell, but you had every intention of using it up and going back to your old shampoo after... until later that day you leaned over Jungkook where he sat working on some project or other to ask him something.

He must have caught a whiff of your hair, because he got an odd look on his face before stammering out, “You, um. Smell really, really good, today. Whatever, uh, whatever you’re wearing.”

And what could you do then? After that glowing endorsement, you had to go out and buy the full sized bottle, and the conditioner with it. You didn’t have a choice, as far as you were concerned, even though you’re pretty sure your bank account shed actual tears over it, which is weird, because it’s primarily an abstract concept and lacks tear ducts or the emotional ability to grapple with the idea of loss.

Anyway, it’s been a feature in your shower ever since.

None of that matters, now, though, because now you have Jungkook with you, right before your very eyes, melting into putty in your hands in real time, and five minutes ago he called you his girlfriend for the first time and you’re, perhaps, possibly, potentially not over it.

You send up a silent prayer of thanks to the incredibly intimidating Sephora employee with the red extensions for dropping that sample in your bag before moving on with your romantic moment. You really came through for me, girl. Amen. Let’s get back to what’s important.

What’s important is the freckle under Jungkook’s lip. You may be nearsighted, but his face is pretty damn near right now. His mouth is directly in your line of sight, and it is begging to be kissed, from where you’re standing.

You ask, “Ready to rinse?”

Jungkook nods, a close-lipped smile on his face. You guide him back under the water, gently coaxing his head this way and that and keeping up your scalp massage until all the suds are washed away, leaving only silky clean tresses and the fresh scent of citrus and flowers behind.

Then you crowd in and close the distance to attend to the freckle under his lower lip, and then his lips properly, because they’re right there, and then the tip of his nose because there’s water droplets there.

Jungkook huffs a laugh at this behavior and brings his hands up to your sides, gripping your arms and smoothing his thumbs over the skin, and that’s when you realize how cold you’ve gotten, standing on the other side of the tub and engrossed with more important things than your own comfort.

But Jungkook’s hands are warm, and the contrast has you shuddering, so you don’t fight him at all when he pulls you even closer, even when you feel the rush of sensation that accompanies your stiff nipples brushing the bare skin of his chest, because he radiates heat. Even when you sense the unmistakable press of his length between his legs against your hip.

You just push forward until the negative space is shoved aside and there’s no gap, no air at all between your body and his, and let go of the tension you’ve been holding inside. Tuck your face in the crook of his neck. Just breathe him in. Feel yourself relax a little further.

“How are you finding the water pressure?” You ask against his neck, just to be a shit.

A snort from overhead.

“Phenomenal, thank you for checking in.”

The smile steals over your face without your permission.

You graze your teeth over the skin at the junction of his neck and shoulder, just to feel him shiver, before dropping a kiss on the same spot and taking a step away briefly to squeeze conditioner into your hands, next.

His eyes on you the entire time makes your face burn, but you’re trying to ignore it. You told him you’d do your best, so by god you’re gonna fucking try.

Smoothing the same scented conditioner through his hair is the work of just a couple minutes, and when you’re done, you allow him to spin you around and trade places, until you’re in the path of the spray again.

“Your lips were starting to turn blue,” he explains. “I can’t take you out to dinner with pneumonia.”

“Thank you,” you tell him appreciatively. “Frankly I’m shocked we haven’t run out of hot water, yet.”

“God, no kidding. What were you even doing in here that was taking so long?”

“I was shaving!” You reiterate defensively, feeling your voice pitch a little higher. “Men have no idea what women go through in the name of soft legs, I swear to god. Sugar scrubs, waxing, shaving, lotions and moisturizers, electric depilatory treatments? Do not open this can of worms, Jeon Jungkook.”

He’s gazing at you openly with a wide, happy smile on his face, and he does not look at all apologetic for giving you a hard time.

“Okay, I won’t. Do you want to finish while I soap up, and then get out of here? Before, I don’t know, the winery closes and we have to have our first date at a twenty four hour McDonald’s?”

“You are a brat and a menace, Jungkook.”

“So, yes?”

“... Fine. Yes, okay.”

Luckily, you’ve already done one leg. You get Jungkook to pass you your shaving cream and take up your razor again, and begin to work the other one, starting at your ankle, focusing below the knee for now.

You’ve made some limited progress, having achieved an acceptable standard of smoothness over a small section of your shin when Jungkook makes a shocked noise and you whip your head up to look at him, wide eyed with worry.

“What? What’s wrong?”

He pauses, his upper body dripping with foaming bubbles from the soap he’s been vigorously scrubbing with for the past minute. “Nothing, I just... oh my god, you can’t see what you’re doing.”

“What?”

“You’re, like, shaving by feel.” He gestures with the bar of soap in his hand, “That’s why this takes you so long. Oh my god that is so dangerous.”

“What? I can see, kind of. There’s lather here and there’s no lather here. I took my contacts out, I’m not blind.”

“You are blind. I have personally witnessed you mistake Tae for me before with your contacts out.”

“Oh my god, one time! You’re the same height! His hair was dyed the same color as yours for a while! You share pajamas sometimes! It was a reasonable mistake to make.”

“Technically, Tae is taller than me, but I’ll take it. Give me that.”

“Give you... what? No! It’s not dangerous, I’ve been shaving this way since I was thirteen years old. I know what I’m doing. You, on the other hand, do not.”

“I bet I can help. We can make this go faster.”

“Jungkook...”

“Please?”

Jungkook has apparently figured out that you’re weak at close range. He crowds back into your space, making sure you can clearly see the puppy dog eyes he levels you with when he murmurs, “Let me help?”

And then he starts to sink to his knees, and then the panic starts to set in.

Oh, holy shit. His hand is wrapped around your lower thigh, not far above your knee, but high enough to scramble all your thoughts. And now his face is level with your midsection, and he looks up at you to maintain eye contact, expression open, hopeful, and faintly challenging. Like he’s daring you to tell him no.

You take a deep breath.

“It’s just me,” He said when he walked in. “Just me.”

It’s just Jungkook.

Jungkook, who sleeps with his mouth open and unironically enjoys Justin Bieber.

Jungkook, who handles you like he’s holding the whole world in his arms.

Jungkook, with his bunny smile and his big heart and his sparkling eyes.

Jungkook, who told you yesterday he’s in love with you.

With you of all people. You don’t know how you managed it. You’re not going to ask. You’re just going to hang on with both hands and be grateful.

On one hand, there is no “just,” when it comes to him. On the other hand... the implicit trust and safety you feel when he’s with you is enough to keep you afloat in the ocean of anxiety and insecurity you occupy.

He says he loves you. You trust him and therefore you have to believe what he told you was true. And therefore there’s no reason to be self conscious.

You hand him your razor.

“If I come out the other side of this looking like Edward Scissorhands I reserve the right to retaliate as I see fit. If I don’t get out unscathed neither do you, got it?”

Jungkook accepts his victory with a satisfied smile and a kiss pressed to the crease of your hip that makes you jump.

Jungkook just laughs at you and cautions, “Don’t do that when I start.”

“I’m,” You start, and then find you need to swallow a couple times in order to be able to get the sentence out. “I won’t. It was just a reflex.”

“Got it all out of your system?”

“Mhmm.”

“Okay.”

He shifts his weight to one side, so that he’s down on one knee, like a parody of a proposal, which you don’t think about, not even for one second. You certainly don’t notice the way the soap on his torso drips down over his abdomen, or between his legs, while he’s otherwise occupied. Certainly not.

Jungkook’s fingers dip behind your knee to encourage you to lift your leg, and with the hand with the razor between his thumb and forefinger he uses the other fingers to tap his elevated knee, shaking his hair out of his eyes and blinking a few times, telling you wordlessly to prop your foot up. You carefully settle the arch of your foot over his knee, balancing with one hand on the shower wall.

Most of the shaving cream has rinsed off while you were talking, but he just grabs the can and lathers up a new palmful of foam. Glances up at you.

“You trust me, right?” He smiles.

It knocks all the air out of your chest like a sucker punch to the gut. This distinct lack of oxygen leaves it notably difficult to speak so you just... nod.

Because you do.

Trust him.

Body, mind and soul.

Too much, probably.

Then, carefully, he presses the razor gently against your lower leg, and drags it with even pressure all the way up to your knee. He pauses when he gets there, flicks his wrist to dislodge the pile of foam, rinses the razor head under the running water and repeats the same action, a little to the left.

You remind yourself to breathe.

He doesn’t go over the same areas twice, as you would if the razor was in your own hand, but whether that’s because he can actually see the hairs with his stupid perfect vision, or because you have better technique after all your years of shaving, remains to be seen. You sniff to yourself. You’ll be the judge of this little experiment.

To his credit, he does seem to know he needs to go top-to-bottom, against the direction the hairs grow, for the closest shave. (A skeptical voice in your head says, maybe he just saw you doing it that way, and he’s copying you. That’s also possible.)

In what you have to admit is record time, he’s finished. Carefully navigating your knee, cautious not to nick the skin with the sharp blades, all the way around your calf, fingers pressing little divots into your skin to persuade you to rotate your ankle this way and that.

He wraps both hands around your lower leg, then, dragging his fingers up and down, smoothing away the remains of the shaving cream and feeling for stray hairs.

He seems to find one or two places where stubble catches the pads of his hands, and he picks up the razor again to thoroughly remove them.

“See?” You chide from above, unable to quash the urge to be childish, “You’re using feel, too.”

He looks up at you, and when you catch his eye, you stick out your tongue.

Jungkook appears not to expect this and laughs in what could either be surprise or disbelief, then retorts,

“Maybe. But you can’t deny I’m faster. And anyway, maybe I just wanted the excuse to touch you.” He smiles, sneaky and self satisfied, mouth pressed to the inner side of your knee, having rinsed the majority of the soap away.

Your carefully measured breathing stutters, hard.

You flick him in the forehead admonishingly, in the fervent hope it won’t show.

“Jeon Jungkook, I can’t believe you had ignoble intentions.”

“I have nothing but ignoble intentions. I’m all ignoble, all the time. Can I keep going?”

You roll your eyes, but find yourself nodding anyway.

The process continues.

This time, he soaps up your upper leg and his fingers graze the crease of your inner thigh, brushing your bikini area before sliding briskly back down toward your knee.

You forget how to breathe for those few milliseconds.

His gently trailing fingers tickle, skin sensitive, and it makes you feel like squirming. You try not to.

Jungkook is done shaving your thigh quicker than you were prepared for, and before you know it he’s setting the razor aside, cupping his hands to catch a pool of warm water and smoothing them over the freshly shaved skin, rinsing away the remaining lather from your hip all the way down to your feet. He repeats this motion two more times, until he’s satisfied he hasn’t missed any spots and the soap has disappeared down the drain.

You’ve been working hard this whole time to keep your thoughts chaste and minimize your body’s physiological reactions to having the man of your dreams, on his knees, utterly naked, soaking wet, between your legs, and running his hands all over your bare skin.

It’s been an effort, you’re not going to lie.

All aforementioned effort goes to waste immediately when he bends forward to plant a kiss on your shin, only to relocate his lips an inch higher after a moment, over and over until he’s kissing his way up your leg past your knee and continuing on to lavish increasingly open mouthed kisses along the sensitive skin of your inner thigh, letting your foot find purchase again on the floor of the tub and scooting forward on his knees, following the path your inseam would take if you’d been wearing jeans. The catch is you’re very, very much not wearing jeans.

“Jungkook,” you stutter, reaching for him warningly, “Jungkook, what-”

You’re interrupted by your own hiss when he abruptly decides to take a small patch of skin high on your leg, just short of very dangerous territory, between his teeth and tug, closing his lips over the area and groaning softly. Arousal shoots through you for all the world like the first crack of thunder in a brewing storm; the one-two punch of a lightning strike of pleasure that curls deep in your belly and the subsequent answering heat and the slick feeling of wetness between your folds following a moment later like thunder, playing catch-up to the bolt from the blue.

Harbingers of an imminent downpour.

He releases the spot to switch to laving it with his tongue, so, so soft and an immediate contrast to the sharp sting of teeth over the quickly reddening area, and casts his eyes up to meet your gaze, just as you take his hair between your fingers, slippery with conditioner and falling, piecey, into his eyes.

“Is it later, yet?” he asks.

“Is it... what? Later?”

“Yeah, is it later, yet?” When he sees that you’re not immediately getting it, he prods, “I locked the door, this time. I promise.” And then he’s smiling, mischievous, running a palm up each of your thighs and then down again, hands wide and warm, eventually coming up again to reach around and smooth daringly over your ass before drawing away again to repeat the motion from start to finish, while you think.

It actually makes it rather difficult to think, but still, somehow, something clicks with the way he words it.

Oh.

Oh.

You don’t know why you thought you’d have more time to mentally prepare for this actually happening.

And, like he can read your mind, or maybe just like he’s just being his usual, spectacularly kind, considerate self, because that’s just what he’s like, he sits back on his heels and grips your knees, thumbing the sides of your legs gently and says, “You can tell me no. If it’s... if this is too soon.”  

But maybe that’s the thing.

Maybe finding out Jungkook likes you, too, is new.

And maybe remembering, freshly each time, that you can do things like voice those inner thoughts that are less platonic, more, “if-I-tell-you-this-there’s-no-way-you-won’t-know.”

Maybe that’s still a learning process.

But you have been pathetically in love with Jungkook for a long, long time. There have been an awful lot of opportunities for lying in bed, alone with your imagination, trying and failing to get off with the sole aid of your fingers and a faceless figment.

No matter how many times you told yourself it didn’t feel right to think of him in those moments, a real person, an ideal roommate, a good friend, your carefully nonspecific fantasy fails, night after night. It cracks and breaks until it features strong thighs, tan skin, a distinct cupid’s bow, familiar eyebrows, freckles, moles, and leaves you gasping for air, struggling to keep quiet; falling apart so that you can finally drift off to a sleep filled with heartbreakingly realistic dreams.

And the cumulative result of all those nights is... no, you don’t want to tell him no. You have waited and wanted for too fucking long.

Last night after you slipped out of Jungkook’s bed, fled to your own room to dispose of the evidence, re-emerged and pretended to be as unrattled and composed as always for the benefit of company, you found yourself left alone in your own bed again, the phantom press of Jungkook’s lips still tangible on your own mouth. The ghost of his hips crushed hard against yours. Heartbeat erratic with the memory of it all.

You barely slept.

Every instinct you had screamed that you needed to get up and sneak back into Jungkook’s room. His bed. His arms. But you stretched the thin remainder of all that was left of your threadbare self control and stayed rooted in place, all night.

You woke up in the morning, at a reasonable time, like a reasonable person.

You shook off the tiredness, and went to work, like an adult.

But now... right now it’s extremely difficult to call to mind whatever reasoning it was that kept you tethered to your own bed, hot, panting breaths muffled by the back of your own left hand against every vivid memory Jungkook left etched on the backs of your eyelids.

Jungkook and his hands. His mouth. His dark eyes.

His hair fucked up beyond fixing from your hands in it, his lips red and used looking from kissing all sense straight out of your ears.

The sound of his stuttered breathing. His moans.

His expression as he came.

Here and now, you press your lips tight together on a moan that Jungkook nonetheless hears, and he’s looking at you, patiently, but expectantly, waiting for a green light on your terms.

So you do your best to give him one.

“I- Okay. It, uh, can be later, now.”

“Yeah?” And then, one more time, because he’s good, good, good, he asks, “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure. I want it. I want you,” You assure him, brushing back his fringe again, letting every overflowing drop of adoration in you bleed into the touch, and leaving it up to hope that he can feel it.

By the look he gives you, you dare to think maybe... maybe he can. You add softly, “Make me feel good, Jungkookie.”

“I can. I will,” He says, sitting up, pressing closer, eyes shining and determined. “Wanna make you feel so good.”

Jungkook nuzzles his whole face into the crease of your hip then, mouthing at your skin in the same way that made you jump the first time, and then adding a press of tongue that has you biting your cheek hard to stifle your vocal reaction.

Taehyung is presumably still home, adrift in the apartment somewhere within hearing range.

You’re not sure how you’re going to survive this with your dignity and the ability to look him in the eye intact, but right now the need curling in your gut is stronger than that worry and you just can’t bring yourself to put a stop to this solely on account of that.

Jungkook murmurs against your skin, “Can you hook your leg over my shoulder?” So you comply, letting him guide you into shifting your weight onto one foot. “Hang onto something,” he cautions.

Jungkook’s mouth travels, measured but eager, closing the distance until his nose presses against your pubic bone and his mouth is centered over your core, at which point he pauses, makes deliberate eye contact with you, spreads your folds with the fingers of his right hand, and at that same measured pace, licks upward and then closes his mouth over your clit in a wet kiss with a tantalizing amount of suction.

The one knee holding you up threatens to buckle almost immediately. You tighten your grip on the shower bar, rocking your hips involuntarily towards Jungkook’s face and whimpering his name.

He looks pleased at this reaction, smiles up at you again to ask, “Yeah?” his two fingers sliding along your lips and between them exploratively. His touch is tentative, and his fingers a little cold, and it makes you shiver.

You hum in the affirmative and reach for his hand with yours, and he lets you take his wrist with a question in his eyes that first clears up with understanding and then immediately clouds over with thick lust when you suck his fingers, wet with water and your own arousal, into your mouth, taking them as far as the second knuckle.

It’s a little besides the point, but just to be extra suggestive you cover your teeth carefully with your lips, tonguing his index and middle fingers separately and then together, leaving no question what you’re implying by the motions, letting his fingertips graze the back of your tongue and then releasing them with an exaggerated pop, only to suck his middle and ring fingers in between your lips and repeat it all over again, finishing with his thumb and lavishing it with special attention, treating it as much like you’d like to treat his cock as you possibly can.

You hear his throat click as he swallows dry at either the visual or the feeling or both, along with a whispered, “fuck,” and it gives you a distinct rush of satisfaction.

While you’re licking long stripes up each finger, as lewd as possible, you notice his breathing has gone ragged, and that’s when you deem the job done well enough and use your grip to draw his hand down, letting his spit slick fingers trail over your chin, and neck, allowing him to feel the swell of your breast under his fingertips and eventually reclaim his hand.

“Oh, wow. Jesus Christ, you really are going to kill me,” he stammers breathlessly, taking your own hand and kissing the back of it, eyes closed and breathing hard through his nose for a long spell before letting go.

It’s at this point that you offer by way of explanation, “Your hands were cold.”  

Cheeky, and you know it, but it seems to have had the intended effect.

Jungkook is nearly gasping with feverish determination, eyes heavy-lidded with the same need you can see throbs red and hard between his legs.

He moans immediately upon getting his mouth back on you again, sending low waves of vibrations coursing through your nerve endings and making you push back against him and gasp.

His tongue is so soft, alternately pointed while he draws nonsense patterns over your clit, lips spread with his thumb, and flat and broad as he licks fat stripes up and down your center.

He uses his first and middle fingers to apply tantalizing pressure to your slit just outside your entrance, teasing like he might slide inside at any time and it has you biting your lower lip on a whimper.

Then his tongue is back to flitting soft and continuous over the hood of your clit, and his left hand relinquishes its hold on the swell of your ass to splay his fingers over your abdomen, and lend his thumb to gently expose it to his licks directly.

The shock of the sensation is so powerful your hips jerk, unsure if they want to buck into the stimulation or away, but Jungkook winds his right arm tight around you, effectively stopping you from escaping his mouth and the onslaught of fervent licks and kisses. Pleasure surges through your body in acute waves.

“Oh, god,” you gasp, desperate. “Oh, fuck, Jungkook, oh my fucking god.”

Jungkook just looks up at you through his eyelashes, wraps his lips around your clit, and sucks hard enough that his cheeks hollow briefly.

“Fffffffuck!” you cry out, teeth buried hard in your lip to try to minimize the volume. Attempt failed. If Taehyung hasn’t heard you already, he definitely did just now.

Fumbling, you reach behind you to turn off the water. It’s begun to run lukewarm, and if earlier you left it on in the hope that it might cover some of the noise, well, it’s too late now.

You succeed after some scrabbling to stem the flow of the tap and then bury your hand back in Jungkook’s hair, doing your best with your tenuous grip and the leg wrapped around his shoulders to direct him where you need him most, and keep him there.

Jungkook doesn’t protest in the slightest, just moans in approval and redoubles his efforts.

You find yourself moaning with abandon, head thrown back toward the ceiling when Jungkook pulls back a bit, breathing hard. He draws his right hand back around to tease you with his fingers again, slicking one finger at a time in your dripping arousal until all his fingers are coated in it, slippery and clear.

“... Look how wet you are for me,” he says then, voice thick. You let your head fall forward again, hair falling around your face as you train your eyes on him. You can feel it, you definitely are astonishingly wet. You aren’t sure you’ve ever been so wet, with the possible exception of yesterday when Jungkook came in your lap. You had ended up having to change not only your panties, but your jeans as well, having soaked clear through the layer of denim, after all.

The image of him with his face between your thighs and fresh bruises starting to bloom on your skin, mouth red and abused, does nothing to staunch the flow.

“Only you do this to me, baby,” you tell him, feeling more than hearing his sharp intake of breath in the sudden coolness in its wake. The breath he releases then comes out in a shudder, ghosting warm over your core.

Then, “Don’t tell me that if it isn’t true.”

You blink, because of course it is, and then you’re falling all over yourself trying to find the words to convince him.

“It’s true, oh my god, it is true. Nobody has- has ever- oh--”

Jungkook chooses that exact moment to slide one finger home, burying it all the way to the last knuckle inside you without preamble. “Fucking hell, Jungkook. Nobody but you has ever made me so... You don’t know what you- what you, oh god. What you do t- to me,” you stutter with effort as he begins to pump that finger steadily in and out.

“What do I do to you?” he asks, voice much too steady for your liking.

Jesus Christ. All right, if this is the game he wants to play, you’ll play.

You tighten your grip on his hair, wrenching his head back, and take a deep breath.

“The last time I came it was bouncing on a toy, alone, in the dark, in my room moaning your name, Jungkook.”

You watch his lips fall into a pretty, pretty O shape on a moan, blinking hard at the sharp clarity of pain in his scalp and starting to form a mental image.

“Oh,” is all he says, but then he takes that opportunity to slide a second finger in alongside the first, the stretch easy with how turned on you are already.

You’re more prepared this time, though, and you push your hips down on the intrusion, squeezing around his fingers and groaning at how good it feels to be filled.

“Yeah, ‘oh.’ Do you know what, though?” You have to pause and let out a breathy moan through Jungkook beginning to curl his fingers, aiming directly for your g spot and finding it much more easily than he should have been able to, but you power on. “Now that I have a better idea what I’m dealing with, I think I bought a toy too --ah, fuck --too small. Because your cock is b-bigger.” You let your gaze fall to his straining erection, deliberately, making sure he can see you do it.

You kind of can’t believe he hasn’t touched himself at all.

Dimly, you remember an echo of words he spoke yesterday. “I want to make it about you.”

Maybe it’s mean of you to get him so worked up.

A vivid memory presents itself abruptly, Jungkook moaning, asking to touch himself, asking to touch you, asking to come, eventually begging, seeking permission every step of the way. A shudder of arousal ripples through you.

Mean? Maybe. But god, it is fun to rile him up.

Jungkook’s eyes threaten to glaze over, half lidded and dark, dark. Still being so good, still denying himself the relief of any kind of friction. You continue, “It’s thicker, and I bet it would fill me up so-” You’re interrupted by your own moan on a particularly hard thrust, “-Fill me up so good. You make me come so, oh, god, so fucking hard when you’re not even there, baby. I only ever think about you. Can’t... can’t get off unless it’s you. Wanna feel you for real.” By the end of this confession you’re properly gasping, and Jungkook looks painfully hard, dick angry red and curved up against his ridiculously toned abdomen.

“Yeah. Yeah, want that.” Jungkook’s eyes are glinting with steel, eyelashes clumped together with water, gazing up at your face. “I want it. Wanna make you come.”

“You’re gonna, Jungkook, baby, fuck, I- oh, god. I’m close. You’re gonna make me come. Just don’t, oh fucking shit don’t stop!”

Jungkook broaches your entrance with a third finger, burying his face in your mound at the same time and lapping at your clit with devastating pressure. He plunges his fingers in and out at tempo with the motions of his tongue at first, making you choke on a cry.

He pulls back again after a minute, directly contradicting you begging him not to stop, but it’s in order to switch to curving all three fingers mercilessly against your g spot and tell you, “Want you to say my name,” in the darkest tone of voice you’ve ever heard out of him.

“Jungkook,” you whimper immediately, almost more out of reaction to the buildup of pressure in your core, threatening to peak at any moment, than out of obedience, but maybe it’s a little of both.

“Mhmm,” he says, kissing your clit and making you jolt on his arms and gasp. “I think you can be louder, though.”

“Jungkook, Jungkook wait-” you start, only to cut yourself off with an honest-to-god wail, as he starts to jackhammer his wrist, pounding your most sensitive spot until you fall forward, leg nearly giving out and leaning all your weight on his shoulders. The sound of it is obscene, squelching noise mortifyingly loud in the small, echoing space, and it feels so fucking good you can’t even find it in you to be embarrassed, the filthiness of it just turns you on more.

You feel yourself about to lurch headfirst into your orgasm when Jungkook says, eyes glued to your face, “Look at me. Go ahead and let Taehyung hear you. The neighbors too. Let them know how fucking good I make you feel and exactly who’s doing it to you.” And then he bends forward and sucks your clit into his soft mouth and hollows out his cheeks, and you can’t help but give him exactly what he asks for, just like always.

“Jungkook! Jungkook, that’s so good, oh, fuck, fuck fuck fuck Jungkook, Jungkook!”

You come with what feels like all the force of a particle collision at CERN, the kind that propels protons at each other to create controlled replications of the big bang. Is that too much of an exaggeration? It doesn’t feel like one to you. You’ve never come that hard in your fucking life. It hits you like a fucking truck.

It leaves you shaking with aftershocks, gasping, and sliding down the side of the bathtub to the floor with Jungkook, and he eventually withdraws his fingers but won’t take his mouth off you, following you all the way down, easing your way by supporting your weight and going straight back to suckling mercilessly at your oversensitive cunt and laving it with broad licks once you’re flat on your back, as your hips jerk involuntarily and you babble at him to stop while he chuckles, self satisfied.

You drag him up your body to kiss you on the mouth, chest heaving and slowly regaining the ability to see with, like, colors.

Gradually it comes to you that you’re murmuring out loud in between kisses, making Jungkook blush and tuck his chin, saying things like, “Baby, you’re so good for me, so incredible, I’m so lucky. My good boy. My knees feel like they’ve been replaced with jello. You’re beautiful.”  

And Jungkook is saying, “That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen. Jesus christ, you’re unbelievable. I can’t believe you’re mine.”

“I am, I’m yours,” you reply immediately. “Are you kidding? That was amazing. You’re never going to be able to get rid of me after this.”

“Mm. Good,” he says, kissing down your neck. “Because I’m not finished with you yet.”

“Oh, god, that was greasy.” You groan, but it comes out in a laugh.

He presses one last kiss on the slope of one of your breasts, holding up his right hand, covered in creamy slick from your release.

“You put on quite a show.”

You think you know what’s coming, and you’re still aroused enough to moan and flatten out your tongue for him when he brings his fingers up to your mouth and proves you right. It’s absolutely filthy, and you’ve leaked so much it drips down Jungkook’s palm all the way to his wrist.

You make sure you don’t break eye contact, lapping all the way from his wrist to the tip of his middle finger, and when he growls and grips your chin with the same hand, kissing you hungrily, you let him, helplessly turned on. It leaves sticky streaks where his fingers gripped you when he lets go. When he breaks the kiss again you suck his fingers back into your mouth, letting him fuck them down your throat until you almost gag, and your eyes water.

“Fucking hell,” he mutters, and in the afterglow of your orgasm, you’re happy to let the praise wash over you. He kisses you soundly, and even though you imagine his tongue must be tired, it brushes against yours, indulgent.

“I can’t believe you didn’t touch yourself that whole time,” you mutter against his lips.

Jungkook smiles, looking quietly proud of his self restraint but he plays it down when he simply says, “Told you. Not about me.”

“Mmm. You’re going to ruin me for anyone else, Jeon Jungkook.”

“Then I guess you’re stuck with me,” he replies, and that... that sounds pretty good to you.

“Will you let me suck you off?” You ask, looking up at him, hovering just over you.

Jungkook’s head falls back, wet hair brushing his shoulder blades, before shaking his head firmly, as if it pains him to do it.

“Nope. We’ve been in here long enough as it is. I might as well have let you shave by yourself because this hasn’t saved us any time at all.”

“... All right, first of all, all of this was your idea. The shaving, and the... everything else,” you trip over your sentence, back to blushing.

“Oh god, this again? You’re shy on me again?” Jungkook teases, sitting up and reaching out a hand to help you to your feet. You’re still a little wobbly, but you find your balance with your hands on his forearms.

He saves you from needing to reply, also conveniently redirecting the conversation away from how any time-wasting activities, or actions that led to them, were, in fact, his fault entirely, by turning on the shower again with no warning whatsoever, dousing you both unexpectedly in cold water, which makes you yelp and Jungkook tense up reflexively.

His grip on you turns iron and a shit eating grin crosses his face. He refuses to let you squirm out of his arms and escape the icy first few minutes of the water heating back up. He at least seems to be taking the brunt of the onslaught, but you’re still subjected to the cold. You’re struggling with all your power, but you might as well be trapped in a vise.

“Jungkook!! Jeon Jungkook I am going to kill you. I am going to take this bath towel and I am going to strangle you with it. I will leave your body where they will never find it and I will cut off your testicles and mail them to your mother. Don’t make me do that, I actually love your mother. She’s a godsend. Don’t make me, Jeon Jungkook. Jungkook!”

And Jungkook just... laughs, his whole body shaking with it, and adjusts his grip so that your arms are trapped against your sides, hugging you to himself and in the process dragging you further into the spray.

Unfortunately, you probably wouldn’t take your threats seriously if you were Jungkook, either, considering you were giggling and gasping through your entire delivery.

“I swear to god, if you think you’re still getting your dick sucked now you have got another thing coming,” you warn with as much gravity as you can summon up while your teeth are chattering.

“No, no, I told you. I don’t need that. I don’t have to get off every time I get hard. Do you know how many times I would have had to get up and leave when I’m spending time with you if I felt like I needed to follow through with it every time I popped a boner?” (... And, like, is ‘awww’ the right way to react to that, or?) “That was like, lowkey the point of this.” He gestures with his head toward the shower head. “Haven’t you ever heard of a cold shower?”

Slowly, you ease up on squirming. The water is approaching a reasonable temperature now. You slump against him, energy depleted entirely.

“... Still gonna kill you.”

Jungkook kisses your forehead.

“Okay. Can you do it after you help me rinse this conditioner out of my hair?”

You push out your lower lip, lifting your head to look up at him petulantly with your eyebrows drawn, pouting as hard as you can to communicate your displeasure, but nod.

True to Jungkook’s reasoning behind standing under the freezing water, his erection has flagged considerably, although maybe it would have been more effective for him if you had wiggled a little less the whole time. He’s gone from angry, almost purple-red, and rock hard with the veins popping desperately, to something closer to half hard, a slightly less aggressive shade of red.

Still mouthwatering. Despite what you said, you’d still love to get your mouth on him.

Jungkook clears his throat, “Do you think you could not, like, look at it like that. You’re making it hard to... hard. You’re making me hard again.”

You snap your eyes back up to his face, feeling your whole face heat up.

“Sorry! Sorry. Um. Conditioner. Out. Right.”

You take his face in both hands and guide him to tipping his head back, letting the warming water cascade over his hair and angling it to avoid getting any in his eyes, which slide closed while you work.

When your fingers first find his face, both your hands and his skin are cold, but they warm gradually.

Your fingers slide easy and soft through his hair, utterly silky after having left the product in for so long.

Jungkook hums, happy, when you scritch your fingernails gently over his scalp.

You’re beginning to notice a trend, here.

“You’ve got a little bit of a thing for having your hair played with, don’t you, baby?” you jibe lightly.

Jungkook doesn’t miss a beat in retorting without bothering to open his eyes, “Yeah, well, you seem to have a bit more than just a little thing for playing with my hair. What a coincidence.”

“How serendipitous,” you concede, smiling and giving in to the magnetic pull that drags you to his lips for a brief kiss.

You’re feeling a little floaty, a little high, a lot lucky. A lot blessed.

Together you rinse off thoroughly, taking turns, before shutting off the water for good.

You take a moment to send up a silent apology to mother earth for the water that was definitely wasted during the time you and your boyfriend spent canoodling in the shower.

In your defense, the amount of water wasted in one shower for two people is outrageously outweighed by the volume of waste produced by the corporations responsible for fast-tracking global warming, but that thought doesn’t really serve to ease your guilt by much.

Jungkook jumped into your shower without remembering to bring his own towel, so you share the one you keep on the rack. Jungkook unceremoniously flings it over your head, blocking out the light and completely obscuring your vision, and then with his fingers scrunches the towel on either side of your head to gently wring out your hair, gradually bunching the fabric in his hands until your face is back in view, making a hood out of it and squishing your cheeks together when you try to glare at him.

“Cute,” he coos, making a goofy face to mimic your smooshed one, dripping water onto the floor all the while.

“Death wish,” you mutter, otherwise resigning yourself to being squished with only a deep sigh in protest. When he’s satisfied with mushing your cheeks and finally lets go, you ask, “Hey, do you think we can pick up some butter while we’re at the store? I know we aren’t out yet and it’s not on the list, but there’s a cake recipe I want to try out, and once I use the butter we’ve got for frosting, there won’t be any left.”

“What? Nooo, the grocery run can wait.” Jungkook protests.

“But why?”

“It’s not part of the date! Errands are not romantic.”

“Why can’t it be? Grocery shopping can be romantic.”

Jungkook snorts.

“Can not.”

“Sure it can! We’ll go together, you can hold my hand the whole time.” You wiggle your eyebrows, voice lilting, doing your best to paint a picture for him, “It’ll be domestic and adorable. We can get a cart and I’ll sit in the basket with my arms out like this and you can push me around and I’ll pretend like I’m flying. Romantic! Now that,” You punctuate the word with a forefinger to his sternum, “-Is a scene that could be in a Ryan Gosling movie.”

Jungkook considers this proposal with his eyes narrowed. He has been known to enjoy a Ryan Gosling movie.

“Why can’t I be the one who flies?”

“You?”

“Yeah, me.”

“But you’re heavy. And you’re the one with the big muscles. Perfect for pushing.”

“I wanna fly,” he insists.

You give in, all too easy, as soon as he levels his big, sad eyes at you, which he may or may not even mean to do.

“... Okay, okay, fine. You can sit in the shopping cart and I will push your beefy ass around. So we can do the grocery trip? Maybe on the way home? They’re open late.”

“Well... I guess we do owe Tae some yogurts. Especially after what he just heard,” Jungkook smirks.

You shove the towel in his face.

“Oh my god!” You exclaim, indignant, “That was all your fault!”

Jungkook just laughs, catching the towel before it drops to the floor and beginning to dry his own hair without an iota of shame.

“Hell yeah, it was.”

“Oh my god, don’t,” You reach out in retaliation, trying to land a thwack in the general area of his pecs somewhere and he dodges you with infuriatingly little effort.

Then, “All ignoble, all the time.” He’s laying the dialect on thick and quirking his eyebrows, and you can’t help but snort, against your will because you’re trying to stay stony faced.

That’s it, and then you’re both off, laughing uncontrollably and struggling to breathe between bouts of giggles.

Finally, when you’re both dry, the problem arises of how to make it back out into your respective rooms to get dressed without putting dirty clothes back on and with only one towel between you.

Jungkook solves the issue by wrapping the towel under his arms and then wrapping himself snug around you behind your back, warm as a space heater. He arranges the towel carefully to obscure you from above your breasts to just above mid-thigh, and waddles you both through the bathroom door, back to front, out in a cloud of steam through the living room, past Taehyung’s emphatic middle finger, and into Jungkook’s room, where you let Jungkook disentangle his arms and drop him off with a quick kiss.

He smells intoxicating.

He smells clean.

He smells like you. You shiver.

You reclaim the towel, slip back into your own room, and begin to prepare for the night ahead.

Something tells you there’s a chance you might not have to sleep alone tonight.

You bite your lip, alone in your room, and smile.

#jungkook smut #jungkook x reader #jungkook scenario #bts smut #jeon jungkook #bts scenario #jungkook fanfic #bts fanfic #cafune #daffodilon #god #will jungkook ever get his damn tea #you keep promising to give him tea and then not ever actually doing it #like WOW #i've seen better follow through at little league #smh #dilon.fic

[sunlightwoo]

Wild Hearts (5/31)

taglist: @cupidhaos​ @hannie-dul-set​ @uglyratlmao

wc: 1600

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My foot tapped against the floorboard of my apartment impatiently as I waited for the familiar sound of my car to arrive. Ever since last night, I have been mentally scolding myself for allowing him, let alone anyone else, be within five feet radius of my car yet this happened. Pacing around my living room, I anxiously bit my lip and gazed at the clock that was across the room, noticing that it was already half an hour past the time that I would usually leave for work, knowing that at this rate I would’ve been late for my shift.

However, my hopes of not being late became brighter once I heard the sound of the familiar engine grow closer towards the apartment and I immediately grabbed my apartment keys before bolting down the stairs as quickly as I ever could in my lifetime.

“My baby!” I squealed loudly walking over to eye-inspect the car before getting into the passenger side of the car and I glanced up at him while instantly frowning, “You’re late.”

“I’m actually right on time, considering you texted me exactly two hours ago. I have your car, and I’m not late, so let’s go.” He bluntly replies with a hint of sarcasm while already driving down the street as I slumped back into the leather seat behind me in defeat, knowing he was right.

The car ride was nothing more than a tension filled atmosphere, just like last night, as neither of us once again spoken up to one another. Embarrassment crawled up at the back of my throat because I of my pride and stubbornness, rather than properly thanking him for helping me last night, however I decided to keep it to myself as I continued to look at the buildings past me.

“So continuing from our conversation earlier-”

“You’re not getting my car.” I immediately state while crossing my arms and glancing turning to glance as I watched him let out a huff of frustration.

“I’ve seen better ones, anyways.”

I rolled my eyes at his childish behavior as turned to the window to watch the streets fly past my vision of sight in moments of time. We ended up going back to the house that was somehow cleaned up throughout the day and I was relieved that I was able to drive my car once more when he handed my keys back into my possession.

I watched as he got on his motorcycle and left to who knows where as I climbed back into the driver’s seat while getting hit in the face with the scent of his cologne that lingered from when he sat there. Shaking my head at the thought, I started to drive away from the place and sped down the streets in hopes that my co-worker was able to forgive me for being late to my shift today.

As soon as I finally driven myself to the cafe, I noticed that there was already a crowd of people already lined up past the door and at this point I knew I was fucked when I remembered there was only supposed to be me and my co-worker, Wonwoo, working that shift today. Immediately parking my car and grabbing my stuff, I went through the backdoor and tied my hair back before clocking in as I hear someone sigh in relief.

“I am so sorry for leaving you by yourself, Wonwoo. I had to get my car from someone last night.” I breathed out softly as I hear him hum in response before calling the coffee order out and looked at me briefly.

“Is everything alright, Y/N? You’re almost never late, unless you told us ahead-”

“I know, I know… Just give me whatever drinks you’re working on and go take more of the customers’ orders, Wonwoo. I got this.” I softly smiled while putting my apron on as he nodded hesitantly before leaving me behind to create more beverages throughout the afternoon.

Time flew by in a blink of an eye before I was able to even notice that the sun already began to set, indicating that it was getting late. I sighed to myself groaning in frustration at my willingness to pick up long shifts, but with the thought that I still had to pay for my portion of the rent and the costs of living as a college student, I was going to have to accept it one way or another.

The sound of the cafe doors go off just minutes before I was able to close the night with Wonwoo as I tiredly sighed to myself and trudged my feet over towards the counter, only to have my alertness suddenly enhance once I realized who the customer was. I mentally scolded myself and tried to escape by hiding behind the counter while moving towards the back door, but unfortunately I knew I was spotted once I hear the familiar nickname escape his lips. I flinched at his voice before turning around to see him disheveled with a pleading look on his figure.

“Go away, Egotistic-”

“But Sparky, I really need your car!” He whines dragging his words out as I gave him a small glare and crossed my arms in front of me.

“Why should I trust you with my car? What are you even using it for?” I squinted at him and watched him walk over closer towards where I was at the back door as he sighs while running his hand through his locks.

“It’s for something really important, but I swear I will give it back to you in the morning on time without any scratches. I just need your car for tonight and I promise after tonight, I won’t bother you again about it.” He says while folding his hands together and gave me a soft look as I pursed my lips together before grabbing the keys out of my back pocket.

“You mean you need these?” I quirked holding it up between us and I watched as he attempted to snatch them out of my hands before I snatched it back while hiding them behind me, “Definitely not. If I can’t give my own roommate the keys to my car, why should you?”

“I swear I’ll make it up to you, or even pay you for letting me use it. Just let me please!” He says and his tall figure momentarily disappears as I then realized that he was on his knees with his hands folded like a child and I was shocked.

This was definitely a turn of events.

“Don’t do that, Seokmin, I’m at work-”

“There’s nobody else here.” He immediately retorts and I noticed that he was right when I realized that the cafe was completely empty.

Even the open sign was already off, which means that either he planned this or Wonwoo had already left me behind to lock up. I gave him a small glare before letting out a deep breath as I contemplated on whether or not I should give him the keys that were still in my hands.

I knew that if I didn’t, he would’ve bothered me even more in the future as the predicament itself had made me frustrated about this exact situation when he was a total stranger.

“If I give you my car-”

“Oh my god yes-”

“It’ll be under one condition, Egotistic,” I warned and he nodded while getting up grinning as I sighed sharply, “Absolutely no scratches or any damage to it, along with gas money because it’s not cheap. If I give you the keys, you cannot harm it, at all costs, or I will not hesitate to shove one of these stupid coffee pots up your asshole.”

He gives me a strange look and hesitantly nods before I reluctantly placed my car keys into the palm of his hands, watching his face light up in excitement. In that split second, I felt him give me a quick hug and sprinted through the back door out towards my car and I sighed to myself before taking a seat at one of the tables in order to calm my frustrated nerves.

I pulled out my phone and shot a quick text out to Soyeon asking if she was busy to pick me up from work in which she immediately replied, thankfully. She didn’t ask any further questions at the time, but I knew that she would when she had gotten here. In the meantime I started to clean up whatever was left as I thought about why Seokmin insisted and begged to use my car tonight without any explanations at all.

‘He’s hiding a dead body.’ I mentally joked to myself and snorted at the thought of it as I laughed at how absurd my humor was while wiping down the last few tables before putting everything away and turning the lights off.

The sound of the familiar car horn goes off as my head turns to look at the lights of her car finally pulling in to the front of the cafe, making me sigh in relief as I started locking up the cafe. I walked outside with my feet dragging behind me over towards her car as I looked to see that she was giving me a questionable look, knowing that my predictions were already correct.

“What happened to your car?” She asks me as soon as I got into the passenger seat as I let out an exaggerated but fatigued sigh, seatbelting before looking over towards at her.

“I really hate being nice sometimes.”

#wild hearts #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #seventeen fluff #seventeen angst #seventeen social media au #seventeen college au #lee seokmin #seokmin imagines #seokmin scenarios #street racer au #jeonghan #joshua #seungkwan #jihoon