#*deepest voice possible* oops I did it again | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

uwua3 · 3 years

Note

Yo! Can i ask for a cute Pirate AU with an adventure seeking MC pirate captain, who, when she and her crew are making a stop at some port, meets her childhood friend, Tenma, with whom she has romantic tension, only Tenma is a big blushing tsundere mess, and MC is verrrryyy oblivious to his blushiness, but accidentally innocently flirts with him?? If that makes sense? Also oops the soldiers have seen me, the wanted pirate, wanna get out of here and join my crew?

summary: a deal is made between a pirate captain haunted by their legacy and an island medium who wants to go home

warnings: alcohol, death (mentions), cops/police, crime, fights (physical/arguments), fires, ghosts, military, near–death experiences, pirates, slow-burn, swords, unrequited love/love triangle

author’s note: thank you so much for your patience requesting this pirate story~ i did my best to do this justice, as i love pirates more than anything! .*:ﾟ（｀・ω・´）ゝﾟ:*. this was a jolly good time to write, thank you! (please let me know if you would like a part 02 to this, as it ran longer than expected)! thank you!! :D

word count: 6,163

music: ship in a bottle – fin

captain, let’s make a deal.

☀️🌻 sumeragi tenma

even out at sea, you couldn’t escape the fire that destroyed your town years ago. the fire that made you become a pirate captain

you were born by a local village by the coast, where the air tasted like salt no matter what and trade was your community’s main economy

it was home. a place where everyone knew each other as family, where the sun was hot upon even warmer smiles and the euphoric laughter of children surrounded the island. this was the land of the happy, the free, and the united

it wasn’t until the damn navy—your first enemy until death—came

according to heresay, pirates were supposed to plunder and pillage without mercy. pirates were the villain and yet, what would the navy be then? after what they did to you, they were anything but heroes

yonaguni was made of tall palm trees that provided shade during the eternal summer that sunburnt your skin, floating markets by the pier with tricky elderly and learning apprentinces in the family business, and rare wildlife not found anywhere else

now, it was nothing more than hell. you could remember it all—how the flames licked the open wounds from navy seamen, the screams of the innocent replacing what would’ve been last words meant for decades later, the sound of crashing trees blocking every available escape route as birds flew away in the distance

you were just a yonaguni native, and now, there was nothing left of your hometown. it was permanently erased from world history forever, and you were the sole survivor of the island, making you the most wanted vigilante alive

it had been years since you last had a nightmare of the attack. was haunting your brain and traumautizing you for life during every waking hour not enough?

but, you knew the answer why you couldn’t stop mourning the loss of yonaguni

it was nearing the anniversary of your friend, sumeragi tenma’s, death

and, as you climbed to the crow’s nest with the power of the ocean running through your salted veins and spite overwhelming you in the deepest, darkest parts of yourself, you could see it over the horizon

the navy said dead men tell no tales, but you were alive, and you would be a legend

“all hands ahoy or you’ll be given no quarter!” (everyone on deck or you’ll be shown no mercy)

“aye, captain!” your crew replied eagerly, their loyalty unwavering and strong as always. you stood atop of the main mast, surrounded by vast ocean bordering a blue, cloudless sky. even without your telescope, you could see everything in the world

beneath you sounded the swing of the lines (rope) against the wind before two feet landed in the crow’s nest. the sailor had the type of agility that only came from a boy born on sea

“cap, don’t tell me ya forgot about me?” your quartermaster, rurikawa yuki, grinned (a rare sight that only came when the ocean smelt strongest of salt and treasure), standing at the ledge whilst holding onto the lines with one hand. any other novice would’ve immediately fallen off with how strong the random gusts of wind were, but yuki was an enigma and your second in command for a reason

“ahoy, yuki! so long as the jolly rodger waves, this crew will always be ready to set sail.” you responded, sliding down the mast to be in the crow’s nest as well. yuki just rolled his eyes, crossing his arms and leaning upon your frame like it was nothing

“don’t hornswaggle (cheat) me, cap. what are you thinking about?” yuki read you like a map, as expected of the second best cartographer (after master boatswain muku, of course) in all the seven seas. you tried to remain present in the moment, with the wind flowing and sky clear, but it wasn’t enough

“... tell me, yuki. is it so easy to read the distraught upon my face?” you joked, but it fell flat as yuki raised an unimpressed eyebrow at your facade. yuki didn’t take bullshit from anyone, not even his own captain

“aye, do not be acting as if you’re feeding the fish (about to die), captain.” yuki carefully watched if any of their small crew was eavesdropping, but the rest were doing their proper tasks for the morning. cartographer muku was happily reading directions to helmsman misumi. the two were a fantastic pair, considering the “sky” ship hasn’t sunken

surgeon kazunari was dutifully sanitizing his medical tools besides them, taking some time to laugh loudly at some story misumi was dramatically reenacting as he spun the wheel skillfully

“boom about!” yuki called out without looking away, already feeling it in his bones moments before anyone else could. his intuition was unheard of, and you watched no one hesitate as they ducked just in time

“sorry~!” misumi responded without any apologetic tone to his voice whatsoever. his sailor’s grin was infectious and wide, a smile only those accustomed to the fatal winds and waves of the ocean could make. just like everyone else on the “sky” ship, they all were forged by the sea

“smartly make way to land before i toss you off myself!” yuki snapped, but it held no malice. he rolled his eyes unimpressed when kazunari laughed at misumi’s sarcastic salute, knowing pirates did no such navy thing without mockery

“oh, dear yuki, how could i drown with you by my side?” you reached over to ruffle his hair, the precarious creak of the wooden mast the last thing on your mind as yuki swatted at your hand, irritated by the littlest of things as always

“you’re right, i’ll have your head first anyways.” yuki said with no malice, giving you a small frown as his calculating eyes glanced over you once more, trying to find any cracks in your confident visage. when he found nothing, he climbed back down, seemingly unsatisfied when you didn’t break under his stare

(you were one of the few on the crew who didn’t flinch. the other was misumi, who just had no fear towards anything, so it wasn’t personal. after all, misumi was the finest swashbuckler around!)

ahead, your acute sight narrowed in on the growing formation in the distance, your gut tensing before realizing it was far too large to be another ship

with a grin, you hanged over the edge (a habit that no longer scares your crew), your voice amplified as it was carried downward by the wind. it was to be expected, of course, as a yonaguni native, your town always had a special connection to nature that no one else did

“my men, turn your heads and look forward into the horizon! what do you see?”

“land, captain!”

“then let us sail faster! the sooner we reach the shores, the quicker you all can take a damn shower!”

with a shared lighthearted laugh, everyone focused on their role and position towards the land mass ahead. whether it was the possibility of smelling like something else other than a siren’s cove or something more, you smiled, forgetting about last night’s sleepless disturbances

up ahead was fukusaki, sky crew’s next location for the night

after three months or so on sea, your crew’s resources were dwindling (much faster since everyone had a bottomless appetite). it was time to visit a port town to stock up and set sail the next sunrise

sure, it was a rushed habit of yours, but it was never good to stay in one place for too long. that came with the risk of losing again...

besides, who liked a crew of pirates to suddenly come to the town square in their stained clothing and gleaming swords?

after barely securing a place to tie down the great beauty known as “sky”, entering fukusaki was like any other town. merchants upon the docks were experts at haggling prices, civilians went by with their day to day life, and the sun burned everyone’s skin just the same

but as you placed your leather boot upon the wooden dock, something inside you turned. like something had suddenly shifted in the town but you had no idea what

yuki seemed to have felt the same thing, even if his facial expression didn’t change. as kazunari kept muku from fighting with a seller for a map of the local area (misumi was unfortunately encouraging him), yuki inched closer to you, his brows furrowed

“you feel that? something isn’t right.” yuki bluntly stated, eyes scanning his surroundings like usual. except he didn’t know what he was looking for, so a frustrated sigh left his lips

“aye, feels as if someone’s running a rig (playing a trick) on us...” you murmured under your breath, careful not to alarm the returning muku with haughtiness ablaze in his eyes and sheepishness from an apologizing but relieved kazunari (it was hard to believe muku used to be shy prior to joining)

“keep a look out. let you know if somethin’s amiss.” yuki peeled away, checking in with muku asking where the closest tavern was. at the mention of alcohol, misumi jumped in, rambling about how he had already talked to a local about all the best spots

you took a moment to take a deep breath in, the scent of palm trees and fruit replacing your usual endless seas. it wasn’t unsettling, just new. your sea legs itched to return to somewhere always changing, always new, but you knew you couldn’t do that to your friends

you straightened your back and walked with the confidence of a true pirate captain, swinging both your arms around kazunari and misumi, peering down at the map with an easy smile

“alright my hearties, where to?”

this gut feeling could wait, you had a few hours to relax before everything turned upside down

of course the captain got the most inconvenient yet boring jobs that could’ve been assigned

(yuki didn’t look sorry as he happily enjoyed your childish huff at being the grocery shopper, knowing how much you hated to interact with people outside of the crew)

due to your very limited people skills, you awkwardly tried to summon your confidence to come back around all the fukusaki shop vendors. when you were with your crew, all eyes were on you and how high your head was held. but, when alone... a captain was nothing without its crew, you supposed

a messily scrawled list by kazunari was in your hand (never ask a doctor to write anything) as you tried to decipher the words, holding it up to the sun to figure out what the hell he wanted

after getting the main idea of what each person wanted within budget, you stood on the outskirts of the town square, desperately trying to decide what was the best way to approach this situation

you couldn’t appear helpless or confused! how were you supposed to haggle in this state of mind?! as you slowly spun around in a circle to view all of the sellers before settling on a rather small, unimpressive stand

maybe that meant cheaper prices! you thought cleverly, walking over with the poise of a seasoned native. with a neutral expression, you reached a wooden display with a certain swagger to your step

however... there was nothing. as you stood in the front of the set-up and realized no one was there, you couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow. what kind of service was this? was there no one actually here to sell anything?

before you could leave, a flash of orange appeared in front of you, purple eyes wide as if surprised they even received a customer. “w-wait!” he called out, nearly falling over his own table. this kid would clearly not make it upon a ship, you thought

for whatever reason, you stopped, looking over your shoulder with an unimpressed expression at the simple boy. he was tall and lean, wearing a bandana around his orange hair and an unbuttoned shirt. it was a casual appearance unfit for a merchant

“what is it? i’ve got places to be and there’s nothing here to be sold.” you stated, a wave of shock passing over his face before solidifying in a stubborn crease in his forehead

“huh? what are you talking about? haven’t you come here to get rid of that?”

when he reached out, you jolted back, a surge of energy visible in your body. you felt that strongly, what the hell did this random merchant do to you?!

“w—calm down! stop moving or i can’t remove the yokai! you’re making this difficult.” he demanded roughly, his proper words clipped from an accent unlike any other on this island. there was a certain... twang, to his vocabulary. as if it didn’t sit right, as if it was on the tip of his tongue

so much for customer service! you didn’t listen, dodging his hand like your life depended on it. as you ducked beneath his arm, you gripped his bicep with a death glare. at your narrowed eyes, the orange-haired boy gulped and stared back with astonishment

clearly, fukusaki natives weren’t this rude

“yokai? what the hell are you blubberin’ about, kid?” you questioned, your patience thin like a century-old rope worn down by salt. he set his lips in a straight line, as if trying to assess if you were serious or not. when you didn’t budge, he yanked his arm back and rubbed the sore spot, giving in

“ghosts. you got more spirits than normal around you, they’ve been there for a long time.”

you were about to retort, but fell silent at the remembrance of yonaguni. had your ancestors been with you all this time? you almost couldn’t believe you’ve been actually haunted by their deaths for this long

“i have no ghosts. do not try to scam me.” you flatly said before turning on your heel, intent on leaving the possibility of ghosts behind before tenma took a hold on your arm this time

“but, they’re trying to tell you—”

before tenma could finish, an irritated and offended voice boomed just down the cobblestone pathway

“you dare lay your hand on our captain?!”

“yuki, wait!” the crew clambered after him, hands always short of his shirt fabric as yuki’s sword made a sickening sound when pulled out of its sheath. the orange-haired boy let go immediately, attempting to make a run for it before coming face to face with misumi, whose previous smile was cold and nonexistent

it was as if the other merchants disappeared, fearing a start of a fight would be terrible for business. tenma was caught in the middle of a 5-person circle, with yuki pointing the tip of his sword at his throat

“state your name and business for grabbing our captain like that!” yuki was adamant on proving his sword was real by putting it closer to the boy’s adam’s apple. he tried not to shake under the pressure, but you noticed how his feet had no shoes and looked ready to run to anywhere but here

“um... t—johnny. it’s johnny, and i simply belong to a family of fukusaki mediums, that’s all.” johnny(?) said, as if trying to convince himself. all of you secretly exchanged a look, trying to decide whether or not to believe this so-called johnny

“you see ghosts?” yuki scoffed, his position already clear on the issue. ever since you two have met, you knew yuki never believed in anything involving the supernatural. after all, so many mysteries were hidden in the ocean, yuki doubted anything could scare him on land

but, you... you’re starting to believe johnny as you notice his eyes waver towards you. maybe not so much you, but whatever was surrounding you

“yes, sir. i can communicate with them as well. ever since i was a young boy, i’ve brought peace to the dead.” your head snapped towards him at that, something inside of you turning

that boy could bring your ancestors peace? could it be too good to be true? as if hearing your thoughts, johnny nodded to reaffirm your beliefs

before anyone else can join in on the questioning, you held your hand up and everyone fell silent, waiting for your next words. you could easily tell yuki to kill this boy and he would... but you won’t

“how much are your services?”

johnny blinked, clearly not used to this question as he mentally calculated whatever in his head. “uh... i usually don’t get paid.”

“if we took you on your ship, how much then?” (you immediately hushed a protesting yuki and wary crew)

“my payment wouldn’t be money.” johnny quickly said, almost shocking himself with how fast that answer came. you raised an eyebrow at that, about to question his terms before muku turned, eyebrows furrowed

“there’s someone coming.” muku whispered in a hush, immediately on guard as everyone shifted to a defensive position. at the first sound of a boot on ground, kazunari’s eyes widened. a telltale sign of the cop’s traditional uniform, which kazunari knew better than most

“go! go! go!” you ordered, everyone taking off running. without thinking, you took a hold of johnny’s hand. he squeezed it without flinching, turning and impressively staying by your side even as you got faster and faster

you were fast, but you despised running with a passion. if you closed your eyes longer than a blink, you could almost smell the smoke and crack of the tree trunks. for some reason, johnny smelt like coconut, and that humored you to a certain extent as your crew ran for their lives from the officers. someone must’ve alerted local authorities nearby...

even with a map, muku was lost to the island’s complex system. despite being quick on his feet, muku’s eyes frantically analyzed the outdated lines and pressed his lips into a straight line out of frustration. you knew you should’ve stepped in, but what could you have done?

“follow me!” johnny whispered hurriedly, turning into a waypoint before stopping and looking back. your crew subconsciously looked towards you as well, as if asking if this fukasaki native was trustworthy

though, it’s not like you had a choice now

you ran with johnny, the rest of your crew following suit. when you reached a dead end, you expected this to be a mistake before johnny nimbly flung himself up the ivy-covered wall, landing with a hard thud as if he hadn’t done so in a long time. ignoring the pain, johnny extended his hand an impressive height away

“grab my hand and we’ll be free!” pirates weren’t one to say no to freedom (or put all their coins in one chest...), so you got down to provide a boost to your crew mates. it wasn’t a time to be noble, so they all took your support without complaining, easily being able to run past johnny

when it was your turn, the sound of polished boots grew increasingly closer, much to your chagrin. you backed up quietly, gulping and trying not to look behind you as you glanced up. both johnny and yuki were standing there, their hands extended as you got a running start

you closed your eyes, breathed in the imaginary smoke, and leaped, feeling the grip of both their hands upon yours as they helped you up. just as you ducked beneath the foliage, you breathed a sigh of relief as the officers ran by without sparing a second look

when you opened your eyes, you noticed johnny was still holding your hand, his fist tight around yours as you could practically feel his heartbeat through leaning on his shoulder

you got up to thank johnny before noticing yuki’s uncharacteristic quietness and the way his eyes looked between you and johnny... as if he was betrayed

you didn’t think more of it despite the sinking feeling in your stomach

it was a night to celebrate! escaping the cops was no easy feat, especially on a foreign island. your crew, who had taken a liking to johnny’s ability to hold his own, invited him to drinks (not that they needed guidance to the safest tavern, of course...)

you nursed your own drink of choice at a rickety table with the crew, watching as they became less like pirates and more like their own ages with a few drinks and good music. yuki didn’t drink, which was something that had always occurred no matter where they went

johnny was flustered under all the attention, or it was the alcohol everyone insisted he could keep down. you stifled a chuckle when kazunari hooked his arm around tenma’s neck and ruffled his hair, the look upon his face priceless

you took a sip before lowering the cup’s rim, noticing yuki’s wary gaze. he met your eye with a frown, as if hesitating on what to say next. once again, how strange

“captain,” at that, you tried not to outwardly wince. it wasn’t common for yuki to be so... formal with you, at least. “do you truly intend on bringing this stranger with us?”

“johnny is no stranger anymore, yuki. he saved our lives, we are indebted to him.” you flatly said, glancing at johnny once more. yuki huffed, clearly disagreeing with your opinion as he rolled his eyes

“we would’ve been just fine without him. plus, he’s a medium! how do you know he’s the real deal, anyways?”

“i just... know.” you tried to elaborate, but it fell on deaf ears. there were some parts of your past you just couldn’t elaborate on, some parts that wouldn’t make sense to a non-yonaguni native

yuki slammed his water on the wooden table, a sound barely distinguishable in the rowdy atmosphere before getting up with a skid of the stool. he silently left, no doubt heading back to the docks where the stars shined the brightest and moon made things shrouded in dark more visible

you got up and followed without speaking another word. the crew knew disagreements between you & yuki were far and few, so there was no time to ask silly questions

when you reached the outside, the salt in the air and muffled sound of everyone having fun made you stop. behind you, you noticed the door didn’t slam completely as a quick-footed pair of feet made their way besides you

“are... you okay?” johnny asked, his hands in his linen pockets as you exhaled, nodding as you leaned onto the wall. johnny stiffly stood by the door, as if guarding it

“yeah, yeah. i am... just a little tussle, that’s all.” you sounded as if you were trying to convince yourself, but neither of you pointed it out. a few moments of awkward silence passed, before johnny cleared his throat

“okay, i didn’t hear nothin’. just... heard the spirits around you get loud.”

there he went again about the ghosts and spirits! you subconsciously patted your hair down flat, turning to look at johnny with yuki-like skepticism in your narrowed eyes

“how can you see there are ghosts on me? how do i know you’re not pullin’ my leg?” you suspiciously questioned, watching as johnny bristled under the attention. it seemed as if the island natives didn’t question his credibility as a medium

“you know i’m right. you have tens, maybe more, spirits attached to you. i can help you take them away, for a price, of course.”

“which is?”

“i want to find an island lost to me long ago.”

if you blinked, you could’ve sworn you were talking to a past-version of yourself. why did that request seem so familiar?

“do you know its name?”

“nay... my family refuses to tell me anything about where i’m from. all i know is the navy is the reason i lost my parents.”

“mine too.” you admitted with a breath and the conversation paused, you two sharing an understanding expression of sympathy but unshakable faith. you two understood each other despite knowing one another for a few hours

“then, is it settled?” johnny held out his hand, which you took with a firm grip. his palms were soft for an islander, funny enough. he must’ve thought differently since this was one of the few times you took off your leather gloves

“as long as you bring peace to my ancestors, you’re comin’ with me.”

when the hours became late and you ultimately decided everyone passed their limit a long time ago, you and johnny led them all to their barracks with laughs and humor in the air

when you reached the docks, yuki was barely noticeable in the night as he stood upon the mast of the ship, his hair waving in the wind like a flag

he didn’t look at you, not once, so you didn’t climb up. how could you when johnny was holding your hand with his eyes flickering back to you, or whatever was around you?

you introduced johnny to his new quarters and left him to be, feeling free for once in your life that night

morning came with the unfurling of your sails and your position in the crow’s nest. the sky was blue and cloudless, just like everyone predicted as the sea welcomed your crew into its arms

“ahoy, my hearties! off we go to find our next treasure!” you commanded joyously, the crew hurrah-ing in return at your enthusiasm. like most pirates did, your crew’s goal when off-land was to find a ship to rob and make off with their goods

you turned to the side, about to say something before realizing yuki wasn’t next to you. he must’ve slept in, that’s all. you didn’t question it even if he was always on time the years you knew him

disguising your expression of disappointment, you left your crew to their own means, sliding down the mast as per usual. when you landed, you noticed johnny standing awkwardly to the side as everyone was doing their own job

“hey, johnny! what are you muckin’ around for?” you questioned lightheartedly, slamming your freshly-shined boots (after an unfortunate drunk throw-up incident) upon the oak boards. johnny flinched from the sound, unaccustomed to the constantly-busy atmosphere of a large ship

“do you... need any help? i kinda, feel guilty just lazing about in my quarters.” johnny confessed, a red flush against his face as he rubbed the back of his permanently-sunburned neck. you were taken back for a moment, not used to being offered help

“um... you seem to know how to throw a person off their rhythm! i have nothing on mind as of now, hmmm....” after much consideration, you snapped your fingers with a start. “perhaps consider shadowing me for today! get the feel of a captain’s life—”

“no need, captain. i will take him off your hands for you.”

you turned to see yuki besides you, his feet silent and eyes attentive as always. you sensed the tension still imbedded between you two, gulping as you tugged at the collar of your shirt. for some reason, you immediately felt disappointed at the missing opportunity of tenma being with you

why were you feeling this way?! there was no reason to think like that as a busy, efficient pirate captain!

“thank you, yuki. return him in one piece, alright?” you joked, turning away to review what needed to be done that day. as you left, you didn’t notice yuki place a cold grip on johnny’s shoulder with an uncharacteristically eerie stoic pose

johnny looked after you, wondering what was behind that shroud of spirits who wanted nothing more than to see you freed of them

“you’re quite lucky the captain has taken quite a liking to you, johnny, was it?”

yuki & johnny found themselves ending the ship’s tour in the underground of the main deck, located along the cannons placed in their corresponding holes. the smell of gunpowder and flint was nearly suffocating, but yuki moved with ease and seemed to revel in johnny’s tight expression

“y-yes... the captain is very kind and charitable to take me on board.” johnny managed to get out without coughing, his eyes inspecting the materials and wondered how loud it truly was during battle

“you agreed to come so soon. you have no family of your own?” yuki asked innocently, mindlessly fixing the placements of the bombs behind the barrels. johnny shook his head, explaining it wasn’t an emotional attachment he had to fukusaki

“how... suspiciously fortunate.” yuki deadpanned, suddenly whipping around with a blank stare. it caught johnny off guard, who nearly stumbled back into a cannon. yuki wasn’t armed, but his tense demeanor and personality change was jarring

“listen, kid, i’ve got no clue who you are, but you have no reason to be upon this ship.” with every word, yuki seemed to come closer until his pointer finger pushed in the center of johnny’s chest

“you may have fooled everyone else, but our captain has always been too naive. i see right through you, johnny. who are you, really?”

johnny shuddered, backed against the wall and desperately holding onto anything that can keep his wobbly legs up. he didn’t know if it was the rocky seas or yuki’s simmering anger, but he felt like he was staring straight into one of those cannons

“i’m johnny, an island medium who sees ghosts on your captain. it is my duty to let them go, that’s all.”

a moment passed, before yuki took a few steps back. before johnny could react, he found the tip of a real sword pointed at his neck once again

“you’re lying, i know it. do not make me ask you again, who are you?”

johnny tried to remain placid in the face of a weapon, but he gritted his teeth and couldn’t help himself

“why the hell does it matter to you? are you in love with your captain or something?!”

silence, then yuki lowered his sword. he sheathed it back, before turning and leaving without another word. johnny let out a deep breath, sinking to the floor as he closed his eyes

if johnny listened hard enough, he could hear your spirits try to communicate with him. but, their voices were garbled and unlike anything he’s heard before. who were you and why was he here?

the first time you & johnny met in terms of spirits was two weeks after a pattern of sleepless nights

he already found you teetering close to the edge, your hands folded as you searched for something, or someone, past the blackened seas

it was as if some savage sea monster had spilt its ink-like blood into the waters, the once blue surface that reflected lucky skies now murky and as mysterious as the dark side of the moon

with your usual guarded glint now gone, you still seemed just as capable to be the one responsible for such dark seas

“good evening.” johnny mumbled lowly, placing the lantern besides his feet as he made his way next to you. you hummed, not particularly fazed by his sudden appearance despite not paying attention. it’s as if you had eyes in the back of your head, like a sea monster

“i suppose fukusaki isn’t used to the rocking of wooden ships?” you retorted, to which johnny sharply exhaled through his nose, a sign of amusement at your observation

“nay, but... i haven’t been able to properly maintain my sleep schedule ever since boarding. your spirits... are rather loud for ghosts.”

you full-on laughed at this, disturbing the intimate atmosphere between you two. johnny couldn’t help but smile at your worn-down exterior. you presented yourself like you were made of a glass bottle, but you were as intricate as a carved artisan ship

“try living with them your whole life, boy, then you can start complaining about their volume.” you jested lightheartedly, offering a soft smile at the newest recruit. as you leaned back onto the railing of the ship, you watched the constant surface of the waves, as if you could anchor your endless thoughts to davey jone’s locker

johnny mimicked your position, his elbow knocking into yours. his hands were much too soft for a seasoned sailor, you noticed this in the dim lantern light. for a moment, you let your impulses take over and you wondered how they felt against yours

“pardon my words, but when will you let me speak to them? i can never find you through the day...” johnny began to ask, but trailed off when your salted eyes and weariness became apparent in the way you exhaled quietly

“it is not your fault but mine, johnny. this is my ship and i am the captain, that’s all. i cannot allow myself to suddenly become weak in case i am needed.” you spoke like a true hero, well, as much of a hero a pirate could be

johnny didn’t exactly understand, considering he just got up and left his entire life on a whim of a promise to find out who he was. but, he nodded anyways, watching blurred movements of entities swirl around your head like troubled smoke

“what about now? will you let me—?” when johnny reached out, you immediately stepped back, your lips pressed in a straight line as if restraining your true reaction

“you look for every reason to touch me, don’t you?” you tried to force it out like it was nothing, but it was clear how your boots twisted like they were prepared to run away

when was the last time someone physically comforted you in any sense? or... comforted you at all?

“captain...” johnny mumbled, eyes wide with pity and you couldn’t stand it. he called you captain, but he didn’t revere you like a typical person would. he didn’t flinch at your sword or head held high, it was unnerving

“what is the purpose of having a crew if they cannot help you through this?”

the wind wailing against your ears reminded you of how little time there was in a day, and how the sun would rise soon and this cycle of pretending everything was okay would begin again

it was maddening, to live the same day again and again with no change

johnny perhaps was someone you looked forward to, a diversion from the expected

“do you consider yourself apart of my crew, then?” when johnny took a moment to think, you wondered what he was remembering. was it the night where misumi pretended to fall over board to scare everyone or was it when kazunari didn’t react to seeing a skeleton that time? was it when muku could predict every type of weather for the next day without fail or when yuki finally cracked at a joke after a hour of pretending nothing was funny?

or, was it when you two shared glances across the deck, clinked your glasses a little too long, or when your hands ghosted over another when pulling lines?

“yes, your crew is my own as well. and like them, i wish to help you, if you’d let me.”

you always found yourself unsure around johnny, unaware of how to respond in a way worthy of your pirate captain title. as you hesitated, johnny looked you in the eyes and his eyes reminded you of storm clouds thundering in the distance

“why else would you take me on the ‘sky’? if you didn’t want help?”

perhaps those were words you would reveal later, but you couldn’t bring yourself to share the real answer. it was a gut feeling that your world would be turned upside down, and you were right when you felt your throat dry at johnny’s hopeful gaze

johnny continued on, straightening his usual bent posture and his voice carried, like he was one with nature. as if they supported him unconditionally

“i know this is your own battle to win and this is your ship and you are my—our captain, but please... let’s make a deal.”

you stood, intrigued, as you witnessed a side of johnny never seen before. once meek, once easily intimidated, now talked to you like an equal

“let’s promise to say things we both really feel. be honest with me, do you want me to help? to remove the spirits and let them move on?” when you nodded, johnny let out a breath of relief and moved closer, gathering your hands in his. when you didn’t pull away and only tensed, he spoke as if he was sure things would change

“i can help you, i can make them go away. you bring me back to my home, i let your spirits go home. deal?”

“is that how you truly feel?”

“and more.” johnny’s eyes glanced down, and you felt your heart stutter as if the surface rocked

“i feel the same way. i wish to help you.”

that night, you remembered for the first time in a long time, a captain was nothing without its crew

#sumeragi tenma #tenma sumeragi #a3! act! addict! actors!#a3!#act! addict! actors!#a3! actor training game #a3! headcanons #act! addict! actors! headcanons #mankai a3!#mankai company #a3! x reader #a3 x reader #tenma x reader #a3! tenma #a3 tenma

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koushisatori · 3 years

Text

Surprise

kuroo x f!reader

genre: birthday fluff

warnings: none

word count: 2.3k

note: I made it !! Happy Birthday to you, Kuroo ! <3 - Also I’ll beta it later when i’m home from university, bc it’s 3 am here, oops x.x

Kuroo wasn’t jealous, really because logically there was no reason to be

You were his girlfriend and you did not mind sudden Hollywood blockbuster worthy kisses when he got a spurt of…possessiveness towards you

He is in no way overbearing or anything, both of you share the opinion that even though you’re a couple you don’t have to be together all the time, spend afternoons with your friends

Then again, you two spend quite a lot of time together, with you being the Volleyball Clubs manager, always staying behind with your team when they practiced way past the official clubs' training's hours

But sometimes he woke up and felt the need to have you all to himself

On those days a slightly lingering gaze by other would irk him enough to permanently glue himself to your side or back

Because of the rareness of that situation, you generally give into that specific mood and take him either with you if you had plans or adapt to whatever your handsome boyfriend seemed fit

(usually, it consists of getting snacks from the store to make watching movies more fun after you both finished your homework. And also cuddles. Lots and lots and lots of cuddling and kisses.)

Anyway, normally he’s a super laid back, relaxed, and ‘’the best boyfriend in the world, right, baby?’’

Kuroo was happy with being ‘’a bit (big times) nerdy’’ as kenma liked to remark, liked that things had their reasons and were logically intelligible

Well…he quickly realized that, while emotions were chemically explainable this also was as far as logic was helpful with them

Sooo…there was no reasonable excuse for him to feel that ugly burning in his chest watching you ruffle through Lev’s hair and giggle so cutely

But it was his birthday, and you should be all over HIM because HE was YOUR boyfriend and in general, maybe he had one of those not so great days bc not only did he get stuck in his bedsheets and face planted to the ground first thing in the morning but his breakfast toast also landed with its face on the kitchen floor just after he put away all the things he used

You were…not avoiding him but kind of distant with your thoughts

At lunch, he was telling you something you’d usually find at least funny if not hilarious because your humor was so fantastically similar to his, but all you did was smile lightly

You even whispered with Yaku instead of talking to him !! how dare you

Rest in peace, Kuroo (you will survive one day with a bit less attention of your s/o)

He wasn’t jealous of Lev or thought that you suddenly developed feelings for the younger boy

He was jealous because that tall child hoarded all of your attention, while you had looked at him maybe twice, three times tops, in the last hour

‘’Kuroo.’’ To the untrained ear the small setters voice as passive as usual. Kuroo though is able to easily distinguish the various different layers of Kozume Kenma’s very real, emotional bandwidth. The captain did hear Kenma and his questioning as well as slightly worried tone, he simply chooses to not react in favor of shooting (barely) decently hidden death glares at the to-tall-for-his-own-good-boy.

‘’Kuroo.’’ The slight change in his childhood friend's voice was enough for the black-haired player to grudgingly turn away from you and Lev to look at Kenma.

‘’Yes.’’ Tetsurou huffs out, giving his best to not sound like a petulant child. ‘’You’re so dumb.’’ Kenma said dryly, definitely analyzing him. The questioning sound leaving Kuroo was close to embarrassing, a quick cough and back straightening later, he adds ‘’You wound me. Right here.’’ While pressing his hand flat against his chest. ‘’Where’s my understanding childhood friend to put balm on my hurting heart by sharing emotionally charged, empathic words with me?’’

Instead of offering the desired words, the smaller boy rolls his eyes before he averts them to his hand-held gaming console. ’’Can you put that thing away, we’re at practice Kenma.’’ Kuroo all but unintentionally whined.

Everything was stressing him out today. Usually, his childhood friend at least stuck to the general rule of not using it outside the breaks. But obviously, there was a plot against him going on with the goal to annoy him more than usual because, of course, why not doing it on his damn birthday. Nice friends and their nice presents.

Just like Kuroo did mere minutes before, Kenma decided to simply…ignore his request half voiced as some kind of instruction. Well…things didn’t work like they were supposed to, he didn’t feel like arguing with his friend so he let him be for now. Rather than that, he turned back to you and Lev, who – for once – seemed eager to train his digging and passing game because you threw the volleyball for him to dive after.

‘’Where in freaking hell is Yaku…’’ Kuroo muttered grumpily, before repeating louder ‘’Yaku! Why am I the only third…Noboyuki!’’These definitely aren’t my friends, he thought while finally giving in to his deepest desire of ripping you away from the grey-haired future wannabe ace.

‘’You truly are dense when it comes to (Y/N),’’ Kenma says, moving away towards the benches, before swerving around them to leave for the clubroom. ‘’The definition of tunnel vision.’’

The thing is, Kuroo heard Kenma say it, but his brain refused to acknowledge them, too focused on finally being in the spotlight of your focus.

Meanwhile, you were watching your dark-haired boyfriend closer than he realized. You carried the whole plan. Or rather your ability to make him lose focus on anything that isn’t you, with just the right amount of addressing the slight possessive side of his and deprivation of your attention.

Even though all of this was just so the others could fulfill their part of the plan, you hate how it led him to mope around the whole day. It was so hard to not laugh about his stupid science joke at lunch and overall, not tell him all day how glad you were that he was born. This is his special day, why wouldn’t you tell him how much you loved his presence and his annoyingly attractive smirk? If not for the others and them begging and bribing you, you would smooch his kissable cheeks, nose, forehead, and lips all day long to honor this special date.

You are an amazing and emphatic girlfriend, so…of course, you realize that his mood in general is rather on the bad side today. He wants you close and to himself, and you did the complete opposite! Tetsurou would absolutely give you an ear full later when he finally understood the whole plan.

Nonetheless, it is kind of cute how he tried to hide that he was sulking. Your big baby of a boyfriend was currently trying to kill poor Lev with his gaze alone, staring holes into the back of his head all the while directing puppy dog eyes at you to relent and come over.

Usually, your Tetsurou was the perfect team captain. Attentive, clever, strategical, and just the right amount of authoritarian and approachable. But with his mind stuck on questioning why you were being weird to him on his birthday, he had yet to realize that through the whole time of today’s practice all of his teammates inexplicably went missing for about 15 minutes before they either sneaked back in (the first years and some of the second years) or openly announced a little too detailed information on how, for example, the bathroom visit has been absolutely necessary and could not be postponed.

The only problem: Lev wasn’t allowed to know of the plan until a second beforehand to not accidentally spoil the surprise out of pure excitement to surprise his Kuroo-senpai.

When you see your better half starting to approach the two of you, yelling for his vice-captain and the libero simultaneously, you whisper ‘’Lev, when I say now, you have to start running okay and call for Yaku. Ask him to practice your receives as loud as you can, and take off over to the clubroom as fast as possible, alright? Also, please don’t fall, we don’t need a bloody and broken nose, Tetsu is pissed enough already. Please do it for me, okay?’’ It was a bit unfair of you to look at him hopefully like that, but as the team manager, you posessed a certain power none of the other third years had over the younger players.

Just a moment before Kuroo got the chance to grab the clueless middle blockers shirt collar, you voice out a hushed ‘’Now!’’. You immediately look up innocently to your boyfriend and finally put the warm smile on your lips that wanted to sit there since your eyes fell on him the first time this morning. ‘’Tetsu...is everything okay?’’ - ‘’Yaku-senpai, please help me with my receives!’’

‘’Lev never asks for receiving practice...’’ is…not the thing you wanted your boyfriend to say. Panicking that he might find out now, still a bit too early, you do the only thing that you know WILL take his mind off of it. You cup his cheek with your hands and pull him down to press your lips against his.

His reaction was immediate, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you so close to him that not even a feather would fit between the two of you. Getting into the spontaneous moment, you happily loop your arms around his neck, smiling softly into the kiss.

Yeah...you definitely had missed that.

When you break apart, he pecks your lips a few additional times for good measure before he bends down even more to bury his face in your neck, enjoying how your fingers softly stroke through and play with his hair, in all the right ways, helping him to relax for the first time in hours. ‘’Baby,…’’ he murmurs against your skin ‘’…no one is training the way they should, let’s just ditch practice. We get a cake from the bakery down the street and eat it in bed, okay?’’

For the second time today, you feel bad. Your boyfriend's voice sounds tired and that was not how a birthday boy was supposed to sound. With his face in your neck, you were able though to watch the entrance. They should come in any second now. You feel tempted to give into Tetsurou’s wishes.

Can they hurry up?!

The thought desperately shoots through your head, because even though he was currently not paying attention to anything but recharging and breathing you in, Kuroo is way too perceptive to not get behind the ruckus going on in the gym the whole afternoon.

‘’We can cuddle later, Tetsu, I promise my whole afternoon is all for you. If you want I can even sleep over.’’ Your soothing words made his invisible cat ears prick up and listen interested. You knew that, from the moment you both enter the comfort of his home, he would drape himself over you for permanent, never-ending cuddles. The only reason for him to let go of you - unwillingly so - will be you whining about having to use the bathroom. For everything else, you would have to carry a (nearly) dead weight of the size and weight of your boyfriend everywhere.

‘’I haven’t heard Tora for a while now….’’ The raven-haired middle blocker mumbles, and your heart picks up some speed again.

Looking for words you stammer some intangible syllables, which lead Kuroo to look up, suspicion swirling in his hazel eyes. ‘’Baby…what’s wrong?’’ he asks, cocking his head to the side, watching you like a cat its prey. Quickly waving your hands in front of you, you hastily answer a ‘’Nothing.’’ And try to smile away the panic.

Before he got the chance to repeat his question and pry it out of you, the gym darkens, and you breathe out a sigh of relief. Just on time. With the door opening a little source of light illuminates his teammate's faces with his closest friends at the front. Yaku holding a cake stabbed with 18 sparklers, and Nobuyuki holding an unholy amount of the ugliest birthday ballons you had ever seen. All of them together slaughtering the happy birthday song in such a passionate manner, that you could see yourself being able to forgive them the torture they put you through in the near future.

‘’Come one, birthday boy.’’ You say with a loving smile, and grab his hand to pull him to the rest of the group.

The moment the lights flicker back on and everyone is cheering out loud one last time. You realize belated that Kuroo (intended) and you (unintended) were besieged with confetti and glitter. (You, until this day, suspect Yamamoto who looked a bit too innocent for your taste.)

‘’All of that…for me?’’ Kuroo questions, his gorgeous eyes shining tell telling in the remaining light of the sparkles. Following his words, Kenma takes a small step forward quickly handing over a small book – filled with birthday wishes, pictures that were taken with each and all of them, inside jokes and doodles - just to move out of the spotlight again as quickly as he jumped into it. ‘’Surprise, Tetsu.’’ You say with a sweet smile, that makes him move closer to you to gift himself a taste of your lips.

Before things get to turn mushy and emotional, a chant of Cake! Cake! Cake! – started by Lev and Tora, joined by everyone, disrupts the moment the two of you had.

‘’Okay, okay! I hear the will of the people, I’ll submit to it!’’ Kuroo gives in laughing. ‘’But…’’ a theatrical moment of silence ‘’I want to cut the cake with (Y/N) together!’’ Your boyfriend proudly announces, and, to his delight, you blush furiously. Yakus laughing remark of ‘’Oi, Kuroo, this is not your wedding, you know!’’ was followed by various joking wolf whistles and some hollering. You didn’t know how you ended up being in the center of attention together with him, but when Tetsuro easily replies ’’Well, I need to perfect this skill it for the real ceremony after party one day.’’ You knew that you wouldn’t want to be somewhere else.

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu scenarios #Haikyuu imagines #haikyuu headcanons #kuroo x reader #nekoma x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu!!

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impala1967dwinchester · 3 years

Text

Sam Winchester: Poetry, my love

*credit to the gif owner*

Pairing: Sam x Y/n/ Reader

Pov: Sam

Warnings: Sweet moments, Sam writing, Sam falling in love with the reader, Mention of Sams past relationship (With Jessica), Internal monologue, (Quick mention of Dean), Love confession.

Summary: Sam tries to write poems. All of which end up being about or for Y/n, and all of them are about just how much Sam truly loves her.

A/N- All of these poems are from Pinterest!

Word Count: 1.9k

Masterlist

Taglist: @sweetdetectivequeen

I remember when I was in middle and high school, how much I thrived in English class. I love to read, but because I’ve read so much in my life. I’ve found out recently that I absolutely love to write.

I love to write little blurb of what a hunt was like, and I’ve taken up journaling. Some people might say that writing things out can make them come alive, but I I personally think that once it out on paper, then it kind of cleans the mind. Declutter my head if you will.

Going through my phone my eyes landed on Pinterest. It wasn’t an app I used very often, but I clicked on it anyway. Going through the process of making an account it asked me what I liked and my interest. I assumed based off what I choose the app would give me different things to look at in my feed.

That is exactly what happened. A few motivational words popped up, and I scrolled through, then a few quotes popped up. But what really caught my attention was the search bar. I wanted to see what other people thought about writing so that’s what I put in the search bar.

I scrolled for a few minutes, and then the word ‘Poems’ popped up. After the years that I’d been writing not once had I tired doing poetry, so I clicked on it. The first poem that was in the stream said the following;

The most

beautiful part is,

I wasn’t even looking

when I found you.

Man, that was so calming and peaceful. A true statement. It made me think of Y/n. The way she just was placed into our life, I hadn’t been looking. I stopped looking when after Jessica died.

I stopped thinking that i deserved to find love. I stopped believing I was worth it. But that was all before Y/n came into my life. She was sweetest person you’ll ever met. She always wears a smile regardless of how bad a situation could get.

She is nerdy like me, she loved to read through the lore books, making it an effort to help me when I couldn’t quite figure something out on my own. The thing about Y/n is she wasn’t just like me, she disappears for hours, in the kitchen cooking with Dean, or making pie for him. She is the best thing to come into our lives since forever.

Again, I started to read through posts on Pinterest. I wondered how many of these posts were meant to be about the girl of someone dreams. I scrolled through seeing a ton of different poems. Some were sad, about how breakable a women’s heart really is. Some on the other hand were about falling in love with the girl of your dreams.

Another poem said;

If you look carefully,

She’s slowly falling in love with you,

But she doesn’t want you to find out,

Well, not yet.”

This makes me think even more about Y/n. Does she love me? Is she falling in love with me and doesn’t want me to find out? Is she falling in love with me, like I am with her? I have so many questions that I couldn’t possibly ask her.

I wonder if she sits in bed like I do and fantasize over her. I sound creepy, but I honestly want to know. I pay attention to her, and her actions. When she’s with Dean she isn’t touchy. When we’re on a hunt, she chooses to sleep in bed with me. She talks about everything with me. Let’s me in, let’s me comfort her.

Is this her way of saying I want to be with you Sam? I once again start to scroll through the feed, looking and reading through all the poems. Coming across another one, this one though made me stop and think. Made me realize a few things more about Y/n.

“Find Someone who makes you realize three things: One, that home is not a place, but a feeling. Two, that time is not measured by a clock, but by moments. And three, that heartbeats are not heard, but felt and shared.”

I realized all of those things when I thought of Y/n. When I was with Y/n no matter where we were I felt at home with her. We could be hundreds of miles away from the bunker, deep in a hunt. As long as she was there, I was happy, content, and at peace.

Number two took me a few times to really figure out. The first time I noticed it was our first Christmas with Y/n. She’d been with us for a whole year, and I couldn’t help but go out and get her something. I went to our local book store, and picked up 3 historical novels, based on what she’d read and what she had with her when she arrived at the bunker. When she opened her gifts, I couldn’t start to describe her smile. And then she dropped her books and run up to me, and crushed in her slender frame. This hug was different than others, the other hugs were ones that were in fear of losing each other, ones that were meant as apologies.

The second time I noticed it was Dean’s birthday. Y/n and I had gone out shopping for Dean first separate and then together. We wanted to get him a gift that suited him. We walked around the mall, both searching for the best store to choose from. “Oh Sammy... oops sorry I meant Sam. Look over there.” She spoke.

Moments like this where she was afraid to be like this way with me. “You can call me Sammy, Y/n. It doesn’t bother me when you do it.” I said involuntarily. I little blush rose to her cheeks, “Okay Sammy. There’s a store looks like a cowboy themed place.” She said walking towards the store.

Rarely would I do something out of my comfort zone, and not ask the other person. But before Y/n could get too far away from me, I grabbed her wrist and slipped our hands together. I made a quick excuse when she turned around and looked down at our hands and then me. “I just don’t want to get lost from you; this place does seem pretty huge.” I had said.

In moments when we were hurt in hunts. Moments where it seemed like we might say goodbye forever. I had Y/n in my arms in the back seat of the impala, she had a huge gash through her back, thankfully nothing had hit any vital organs or hit her spinal cord.

She sat in my lap her hands wrapped around my neck, our hearts pressed tightly together, I was grasping tightly to her. Trying to keep myself tethered to her. I focused on her breathing. Focused on the scent of the peach shampoo that still lingered in her hair.

I would see Dean looking in the back through the mirror. I didn’t have time to deal with his comments so i dropped my gaze, I was trying so hard to not break down, in front of my big brother or Y/n. Y/n needs a strong man, so that’s what I’ll be right now, just for her.

As i thought about past moments. I realized that I couldn’t keep the charade up anymore, about I felt towards Y/n. Making myself close out of the very calming app, I clicked on to the massaging app.

Sliding the small list of contacts, I did I have. I sent Dean an “goodnight” message before slipping out of our conversation and into Y/n and I conversation. I started to type and then deleted it.

I fell into this rhyme for a what seemed like an hour, of me saying how I felt and then deleting it. I received a “Good night bitch 😴” Message from Dean. I slide it off my screen refocusing on my message to Y/n.

Then all the sudden it clicked in my head. And I started typing my message out. Careful to phrase words the particular way.

“In you, I have finally found all I never dared dream I could deserve or have- the kind of love that is rare. Being known in a way that touches the deepest parts of me. Accepted in a way that blows my mind.”

I sent this part to her. I waited till she has read the massage. Then only a few moments later I saw a message from her pop up.

“Sammy what are you saying?” Y/n asked. So, I started to write the second part of my message.

“In you, Y/n the love I have always desired to give now has a place to call home, I hope? I have been skeptic, but you are my undeniable miracle. The questions don’t matter anymore.” I sent once again waiting for another message back from Y/n.

What I got surprised me. “Come to my room, Sammy.” She sent. I quickly uncovered myself from the thin blanket, and slipped on a Henley, along with my slippers.

I opened my door, and pretty much ran down the hall way, my phone still tightly placed in my hand. I slowed down as I made my way in front of Y/n’s door. I knocked and was granted access.

“Come in Sammy.” She said in her cute voice. I walked in, and shut the door softly. Before turning on my heels and standing still. “You can come over here and sit down with me Sammy.” So, I did as she said.

I walked over and sat down next to her. “So, Sammy, what did you mean by your message?” She asked grabbing my much larger hand with her much smaller hand.

I hadn’t ever noticed that, but instead of answering Y/n question I found our hands more interesting. “Sammy?” She said once again, but her voice was softer and quiet.

“I hope to god I’m not stepping over a boundary, but what I was trying to say was that I think... Wait No I know that I’ve fallen for you more deeply than I think I can understand. And I hope that you feel the same way?” I said rubbing my calloused thumb over the knuckles on her left hands.

“Sammy, I think I’ve fallen in love with you too.” Y/n said. Smiling showing off her bright eyes, and dimples on her cheeks.

“We have finally found each other, and that is enough. Right?” I said still a little worried I might say something wrong and ruin that whole moment.

“Yeah Sammy, I hop... I know that it’s enough, because when I’m with you I fell at peace and I wouldn’t want anything else then that.” She spoke. I brought my hand up to her cheek cupping it in my hand, and brought her close to my chest.

I kissed her lips, and god if it wasn’t the most intoxicating thing, I’ve ever tasted. I would be lying, she tasted like dark chocolate, and honey. Our lips didn’t fight for dominance, it was just a sweet kiss. Something that made this moment just so much more real.

“God, I love you so much Winchester.” Y/n said against my lips. I only smiled and whispered into her lips “I love you too, Y/L/N” “And don’t worry I’ll keep Dean from teasing the both of us.” I spoke.

Completed on : 03/14/2021

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mystoriesofthegalaxy · 3 years

Text

Need You Now

(Peggysous Week 2021)

Day 4: song fics; @peggysousweek thanks for hosting!

Summary: Peggy and Daniel are thinking about and missing each other while being separated by many many miles. (Set between Season 1 and 2)

Song: Need You Now by Lady A (listen here, this is my favourite version of the song!)

A/N: This is the first time I am writing a Peggysous fic, which is why I am quite anxious about uploading this, but here it is. I ended up writing something with almost no plot and a lot of yearning oops.

Also, English is not my first language so I apologise for all the mistakes and the misuse of words!

You can read this here on Ao3 as well if you like :)

~*~

Picture perfect memories

Scattered all around the floor

Reaching for the phone cause

I can't fight it anymore.

With a sigh, Peggy ran her hand through her hair and shook her head. It could definitely not go on like this.

Ever since he had left New York, she was behaving so unlike herself that even she found it hard to believe.

And yet here she was, sitting alone in her room, next to the open window, looking outside into the dark street, the shining of the street lamps the only light on that cloudy Friday night.

Daniel Sousa was gone, that was a fact, and instead of feeling miserable she should be moving on and should go on with her life like every sensible human being would do. After all, she should be happy for him, shouldn't she?

It was a big opportunity for him, becoming the chief of the SSR West Coast bureau, and why not take the chance if there was nothing - or no one - holding him back?

She couldn't help but wonder, though, about what could have been, would he not have decided to take the position. Or if she hadn't wrecked it all.

For a second, she closed her eyes, reveling in their shared little memories. All the times Daniel had aped Jack whenever the latter was acting up again, making Peggy chuckle. All the times Daniel had brought her a cup of coffee whenever she had been delving into the huge amount of paperwork that had to be done, that lovely smile of his on his lips when he had placed the cup on her desk.

And then, a certain memory resurfaced, a wonderful memory that was very dear to her and back then had whirled up the feelings in her heart.

It had been the birthday of one of the SRR's agents, and after finishing time most of them had decided to celebrate at a bar. While practically all of the agents had been either playing cards half drunken or playing a drinking game fully drunken, Daniel and Peggy had been sipping their drinks together, sitting slightly away from the others.

The two of them had been talking a lot that evening, sitting close to each other and really getting to know the other. They had talked about their childhoods, he had told her about his three siblings, and she had told him everything she missed about England.

And it had been that evening that Peggy had realised that she may be feeling something more than just friendship for that man in front of her.

But of course she had ruined it all and everything had gone downhill. Why exactly, she couldn't quite tell. Perhaps it had been because of her fear of falling in love again, or because of her fear of losing someone dear to her again. Or perhaps it had been something else, she couldn't quite say.

Her gaze fell upon the phone that was standing on her desk, and for an instance she felt the urge to call him. To hear his voice, to have a conversation like the ones they used to have during their little breaks.

But quickly, she scrapped the idea and put down the receiver she had involuntarily picked up. It was already after ten o'clock in Los Angeles, and he was probably already in bed. And besides, she had already called him once two weeks ago, and once last week, but he hadn't returned any of her calls. For Peggy, this was a clear signal: he had moved on.

She couldn't reproach him, though, that he had decided to move on. After all that had happened...or more precisely not happened. No, she really couldn't have expected him to stay. Daniel Sousa was gone, and she had to get over it.

And I wonder if I ever cross your mind.

For me it happens all the time.

But despite her thoughts she couldn't help but wonder if after all, he still may be thinking about her once in a while. Because ever since the day she had come to know that he had accepted the offer, Daniel had never left her mind. Even though she had tried her best to distract herself.

It's a quarter after one.

I'm all alone and I need you now.

He had always taken care of her, and she had taken it for granted and had grown accustomed to it, not appreciating his efforts as she ought to have done. But now that he was gone, she realised how much he had grown on her, how much his absence actually hurt...and how much she actually needed him in her life.

And I don't know how I can do without

I just need you now.

~*~

Another shot of whiskey

Can't stop looking at the door.

Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before.

With a sigh, Daniel rose his glass to his mouth and took another sip. This wasn't exactly how he had imagined himself to be spending his first Friday evening off. But here he was, sitting on a bar stool at the counter, deep in thoughts.

The past few weeks had been very busy, moving to L.A. and taking a new position, a leading position, as chief of the new branch of the SSR, which was why he had barely had time to sit down and catch a breath.

But this had turned out to be a good thing after all, because otherwise he wouldn't have been able to bear the thoughts that he had been pushing aside into the deepest parts of his mind.

He had left New York with mixed feelings three weeks ago. He was excited for the new chapter of his life that was starting, and he was proud that he had been offered such an important position. But there were certain things that he was leaving behind that he really was going to miss. Or more precisely a certain person.

Daniel's gaze had wandered towards the door, watching the people who were occasionally coming in and out the bar. Suddenly, the door swung open and a brunette woman entered the room, walking hand in hand with a tall blonde man who was wearing a hat. As she turned over to her companion, Daniel could see that she was wearing red lipstick and that her nails were painted red as well. The way she was leaning against the counter, laughing while the man was talking, painfully reminded Daniel of that certain someone he had tried his best not to think of.

Oh, how much he wished that it was Peggy who had swept into the room that very moment.

No, he couldn't deny it that she was the one thing he was terribly missing since his move. If there had been a slight possibility, a tiny little chance, that she may be feeling that certain connection he thought he had felt between them, he may have thought twice before taking the job.

But apparently it had been all in his head, apparently he had been hoping for something that just wasn't there.

Maybe Krzeminski had been right after all. No girl was going to trade in a red, white and blue shield for an aluminium crutch, he was never going to be good enough for her. They may have worked good as a team, they may have even been friends, but that was it. Nothing more.

And even though being her friend wasn't bad, he had to admit that it wasn't enough for him. He couldn't just be around her and be her friend, it was impossible. The pain was to much, and he couldn't simply turn off his heart and stop feeling what he felt.

So the only thing left to do was to move on and to forget her. But this was so much easier said than done.

And I wonder if I ever cross your mind.

For me it happens all the time.

Two weeks ago, though, she had called. When he had left New York, their demeanour towards each other had been very awkward and uptight, which is why he never would have expected to hear from her again.

And yet she had called the office, two times so far, wanting to speak to him. He had been on the way both of the times, which had spared him the pressure of actually having to pick up the receiver and talk to her.

He hadn't been able to bring himself to call her back yet. Yes, he missed her like crazy, even though he had always tried to disregard those feelings. But would talking to her really change anything? Change the way he felt? And what should he have said to her? Should he just have talked to her like nothing had happened? Like there wasn't a 2.500 mile distance between them?

No, he may be behaving like a coward by not getting in touch with her and not facing her, but it was the only possibility for him.

There was a little comfort for him, though, in knowing that since she had tried to call him, she must have not yet forgotten him completely.

It's a quarter after one.

I'm a little drunk and I need you now.

It was a terrible state he was in, torn between yearning for wanting Peggy in his life, his heart completely having fallen for her and at the same time knowing that if he didn't let go of her, he would be feeling miserable forever. And even though everything inside him was screaming no, he had to forget her and move on.

"Great job so far.", he murmured sarcastically and took the last sip of Whisky. Of course he had ordered the very thing Peggy would have chosen if they had been out together.

Feeling how the Whisky was showing its effect and was starting to addle his brain, he picked up his crutch and stood up. He had had enough for the night. With a last glance at the brunette and her companion, he straightened his shoulders and left the bar, disappearing into the dark.

And I don't know how I can do without

I just need you now.

#peggysous week 2021 #peggysous #daniel sousa #peggy carter #agent carter #need you now #my stories of peggysous

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writemekpop · 4 years

Text

Oops! I Did It Again | Dong Sicheng (Winwin)

Pairing: Dong Sicheng (Winwin) x Reader

Summary: If Winwin ever found about your huge crush on him, you would die about embarrassment. One day, a tiny slip up turns your world upside down. All of a sudden, you’re forced to face up to your feelings for the school’s heartthrob. How will your story end?

Genre: High school AU

Words: 1.2k

You turned your phone off and tilted the screen ever so slightly, trying to catch the reflection of the students in the lunch table behind you, moving it carefully till it frames his face.

Winwin’s perfect eyes are creased in a laugh, straight white teeth revealed in a precious moment of excitement. Soft brown curls brush his eyes and his striped tie hangs lazily around his neck. You know each and every soft contour of Winwin’s cheeks, that jawline so smooth it could have been hand-crafted by angels.

You could stare at Winwin every lunchtime – and you would, were it not for your best friend Mark keeping you in check. But he’s stuck in orchestra today, and you’re secretly thankful for the alone time you plan to spend staring at your crush.

Winwin’s face disappears as a text lights up your phone screen. It’s Mark.

‘orchestra is sooooo boring. wuu2?’

While you’re racking your brains for a believable lie, he texts you again.

‘you better not be sitting there staring at W’

Damn it! He knew you too well. You check your phone reflection again to watch as Winwin brushes away an effortlessly styled curl that’s fallen into his face, his perfect lips pouting for just a second.

You realise you’ve forgotten to answer Mark’s text. You hurry to think of something to say – nothing annoys Mark more than a slow reply. Your fingers fly over the screen, as you trust autocorrect to handle your hasty errors.

‘boi its been three yrs ok? u should be used to my staring at winwin by now :) cant a girl have a crush?????’

You could have denied your obsession, but Mark would have seen straight through you. It’s useless to deny that Winwin is all you think of.

For the millionth time, you replay the first time you laid your eyes on Winwin in your head. It was an achingly hot afternoon, and Winwin was in the finals of the school tennis tournament. You watched him play for hours, not a hint of tiredness in his handsome face, despite the sweat streaming down it. When he lost by an inch, he just flashed a charming smile and strutted away like the tennis court was a runway. He was like a dream to you.

You read back the message you sent to Mark, expecting to see a teasing remark about your secret crush. But to your surprise, the text hasn’t even been read yet. Something feels off – Mark always replies within seconds. Has his phone been confiscated or something?

You read back over your message. It has definitely gone through, but apparently the last text Mark sent to you was,

“Thanks for the book you lent me, it was really interesting”

Wait a second.

Your eyes scan over the previous texts, nervousness sending your heart racing. The messages are polite, impersonal, spread out over months rather than minutes. Instead of strings of emojis and typos, they’re filled with neat punctuation and try-hard jokes. You start to feel a little dizzy.

You don’t need to see the contact name to know it wasn’t Mark you sent that text to.

It was Winwin.

Those six letters burn into your eyes.

Thankfully Winwin hasn’t read the text yet. Why did you say you had a crush on him!? Soon enough, he’ll find out everything, and you’re powerless to stop it.

A chill spreads over your skin. You picture Winwin’s cold, confused reply – why did you have to mention staring at him all the time?

Your heart pounds painfully as you think about which school you’ll have to transfer to once your secret’s out. Could you play your crush off as a joke? A dare? You pray Winwin won’t turn around from his seat at the lunch table and realise how close you’re sitting to him.

Suddenly, you get an idea. You turn your phone screen off, tilting the blackened screen till Winwin enters the reflection again. You can just make out his own phone placed on the lunch table beside him. What if… you could delete the text off his phone before he got the chance to read it?

You know it’s risky, but you’re desperate. You can simply walk up to him whilst holding your lunch tray, slip his phone under your plate and delete the message. Winwin will never notice.

It’s now or never. You wipe your clammy hands on your skirt and stand up. Though you’d rather crawl under your duvet, you pick up your tray and start taking measured steps towards Winwin’s table.

Your knuckles go white with the effort of gripping your tray.

This is the moment.

Winwin’s phone gleams like onyx, just close enough to grab. You ease your hand off your tray, stretching it discreetly towards the phone…

Someone grabs your wrist in a vice-grip, sending your tray crashing to the ground.

The buzz of lunchroom voices fades to silence.

Winwin has your wrist in his hand and is glaring at you with brows furrowed. A hushed, judgmental ‘oooh’ spreads through the room, a unanimous recognition of your embarrassment.

Hot tears pinch at your eyes, moments from erupting in front of the whole school.

Upon recognising you, Winwin’s grip loosens, his expression switching to one of bewilderment. His hand doesn’t leave yours, though. Every eye in the cafeteria is trained on you. You have to say something, quick.

Then, something happens that takes you completely by surprise.

Winwin crouches down to the floor and starts picking up your untouched food and placing it back on your tray, eyes fixed sternly on the ground.

You crouch down too, grateful for the chance to hide from your classmates’ stares. “What were you doing with my phone?” he mutters in your direction.

Though he sounds far from friendly, your heart leaps at the sound of Winwin’s voice. How can you possibly explain? The idea of confessing your feelings is about as appetising as the school lasagne.

A mortifying silence stretches between the two of you.

You realise your hands are shaking so much that you can barely pick up your food. Winwin clears his throat, expecting an explanation, and the awkwardness is suffocating.

He’s not even angry anymore. His brows are furrowed, head tilted in…worry. You start to feel sick. You can’t take this one second longer.

Before you realise what you’re doing, you sprint out of the hall, stumbling, tripping on your laces. You hear a wave of whispers rolling through the cafeteria behind you. You don’t look back.

You dash through the hallway as you scan the doorways for somewhere to hide. Winwin’s glaring frown is plastered in your memory. Your deepest secret is out, and you were too much of a coward to even explain yourself. Any chance you had with him is gone.

Suddenly, something stops you mid-sprint.

It’s a buzz in your pocket. Could it be a message from Winwin?

You pull your phone out, the glass slipping on your trembling hands. You cringe at your idiotic accidental message that started this mess. But to your surprise, a newer message burns into your eyes.

You grasp at the wall to support you, dizzy in disbelief at Winwin’s message. You bring your phone closer to your face, squinting at the inexplicable, beautiful words.

‘Why did you run off like that?

I didn’t get the chance to say…

I like you too’

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halothenthehorns · 3 years

Text

TLTNL- OUT OF THE FIRE

Hickory was sleeping in the bed upstairs on Lily's pillow. He'd been doing this very frequently, though his usual place was up on the mantel above the fireplace. He liked being where everyone was and keeping an eye on Click, but lately the warmth above the fireplace had not been worth it for all the noise which he much preferred to avoid. He didn't even enjoy the infants company, the child was always making some form of disturbance and Hickory was only ever in his company when the bundle was garnering special attention or the cat had a want to play with his toys. He'd been sleeping peacefully in the seldom quiet then, until his dark brown fur went on end, and he let out a soft hiss.

Harry was yet even three months old. Things to recognize were far and few between, but he took comfort in the familiar ones. Soft, warm support next to heartbeats. Soothing voices he should know all his life. Blurry outlines of faces he knew he could smile and laugh at and always find a return. Yet in the comfort of his crib, in the total silence and separate from his own future, he twitched uneasily now, and made an unheard whimper at his family's distress.

It was a maddening noise, or one very close to a man losing his. James didn't even seem to realize he was making it as it tore out of him. This was too much, he'd finally heard all he could! Sirius just could not be slated to die, not after all he'd been through!

Sirius was hyper aware of his surroundings. He felt the tornado going on around him, their anger at him, at Voldemort, at this very future. The fear; after everything that had happened to James and Lily, how Peter already felt dead in their memories, to hear of this happening again would be too much. He felt it all himself tripled, he didn't want to die! Of that thought he was very clear on, because he'd already felt that once. During those first few days, of hearing everything Harry was going through in his life without someone around to care, he'd bitterly regretted whatever his downfall had been because it never would have felt worthy unless he'd gone out with James, or for him.

More than anything though, Lily's tears of resignation, Remus' fury, and James' fear, he was looking at his godson.

This was their future. They had to change it, clearly or die trying. Harry though had already lived through this, and he wasn't going to watch it happen again.

He snapped the book shut with such a loud, sharp snap it resonated through the hole house as he stated, "Oops, did I say something? I meant, and then Harry had an actual nice end to his school year and the end!"

James hit him so hard he may well have a concussion for that one. Glory, the last time Prongs had hit him that hard he'd almost killed Snape, and he didn't like this developing pattern of being the cause of so many deaths, even his own.

He'd been shaking so hard Sirius wasn't even sure how he'd landed the blow. Still, he tried with all his might, just like he always did, "look, we don't have to hear about this! It's not necessary, because it's not going to happen this time!"

Remus could hear what he was so desperately trying to keep out of his voice, what his eyes couldn't hide. Sirius was just as afraid as them, but he was still being their Padfoot as he looked again at Harry. He wanted more than anything to take this away from his friends, his real family. Remus still couldn't believe the words he'd said, even as his innards solidified inside confirming their worst fear was most definitely their future. It was hurting just to breathe he was so scared for his best friend, and he tried for that composure again, that promise this wasn't happening to him yet, but all he could think was, 'not him. He'd suffered too much already. Just let it be me instead!'

"How could this have happened!" Lily only managed speech if she didn't let herself think about the exact words. "Sirius, you were, how could you-"

"I'm sure I made a very calculated decision!" Sirius insisted, before hesitating and admitting, "turns out I'm just bad at math." He was still trying the hardest he ever had in his life to keep talking, keep making words come out despite the fact he couldn't feel anything but numb shock, all the while trying to reach for his wand while he had their attention and subtly banish this one from sight for good.

Harry had been watching him in a sort of detached horror, his mind couldn't cope with what he was hearing and make it through, or he may well end up like his dad who still wasn't at any recognizable human level of emotion from all this. Instead, more as if a demon was possessing him, he reached forward and took it out of Sirius' grasp before a spell could be done to it.

Sirius fought back though, keeping it firmly in his grasp and starring Harry down. "It doesn't matter Harry," he stated clearly now that his front had been ruined over their tug of war. "I'm not going to watch you live through that!"

"I have to," Harry said simply.

It certainly was no want. He'd love nothing more than to skip right to his sixth year, to hear of Sirius dropping him off at the train again and there was some simple explanation and everyone made it out alive; or just to pretend altogether none of this had ever happened, this was someone else's horrific life where everyone he ever cared about seemed to die.

Instead, he'd meant that with every part of him, he had to. That drive that had pushed him through his loveless childhood, the same determination that helped him not to murder Sirius when he had doubts the man had killed his parents, the strength that kept him alive while facing a powerful Voldemort for the first time in his life. The fifteen year old from his past was still shaking with fright and screaming to just let Sirius do this, he didn't need to know the details! Maybe it was some left over hope his godfather would make it out of this, or more likely it was that his head was likely to come free of his body if the warning pain was any indication he couldn't live through not knowing. He didn't think Sirius really could either no matter what he said.

So Harry won, he got the book away from him, and the worst consolation prize in his life began.

Harry was protesting he did not want to go to the hospital wing.

It was abundantly clear no one was taking in an actual word of what Harry was saying, he could have been reading to that Mirror of Erised from so long ago, though he liked to think his deepest desire would never be seeing them looking at him like he was the one putting a wand on Sirius. He understood why of course, it probably felt like a genuine betrayal that he was forcing them to sit here and listen to this, but he just couldn't do this one alone. Even if they hated him for it, the words kept tumbling out, past the guilt, the fear, everything, he had to know! Surely they must understand that...

The test examiner was being sympathetic, saying it had just been nerves and he could go back in and finish, but Harry changed paces and said he'd rather go to the hospital wing instead.

It was actually impossible for Lily to go backwards, think what had started all this and put together what Harry was saying! She kept seeing it in her mind, Sirius had been making trips from that place and she couldn't even blame him, but now one too many times had finally been his last...

The second the man was out of sight Harry tore through the castle right up to the Hospital Wing and begged Madam Pomfrey to let him see McGonagall.

A splutter of life tried to appear in Remus for a second, as he clung to one tiny ray of life that McGonagall no matter what state she was in would make this right, somehow...

Pomfrey informed him she'd been moved to St. Mungo's. Those four Stunners to the chest, it was a wonder they hadn't killed her.

"Stop!" James found his voice again and it was just as wretched as the noise he'd been making. "Stop, stop it, I don't know how to handle this!" He pleaded. James Potter actually pleaded as he stormed out of the room.

He wasn't naïve, the possibility of this had been alive since Sirius had been forced into Grimmauld place. He just couldn't stand imagining it! His lungs seemed to have vanished, he had no clue where he was seeking out, blind detachment the only thing getting his feet moving until he collapsed in a chair that moved rhythmically beneath him and he realized he'd moved from pure memory to collect his infant and sit in the rocking chair in his room.

There was a soft knock on the door behind him, but he ignored it, and whomever it was blessedly went away. He didn't want comfort right now, and no one could actually offer any. So he simply rocked his precious life for a moment, crooning to him through a few sobs, and just let himself breathe without forcing anything out, trying to cover anything, he let his mind wander wherever it had to.

James had thought he'd been handling himself quite well. His son the same age as him had crashed into their kitchen without memory but they were all abruptly informed he and Lily had a year left to live, okay, they could fix that! One of his best friends in the world, his brother in all the ways that mattered, was the cause of that death! He could cope, he still had his real friends, they still had time to purge this problem! Voldemort was only going to be gone from his son's life for thirteen years before his only child was forced into helping that resurrection! He'd find a way to live through that just like Harry had!

This time though, this one was beyond him to understand. He'd been forced to come to the early realization everyone he loved died except his son and he'd managed that because they'd started the Order with the understanding they may not all have come out. Then he'd realized that hadn't been true, and now he didn't know how to reach back and grasp that this was all going to be okay again with Harry watching this time.

That was the real kicker, that any moment he went back down, Harry was going to slip back into Voldemort's consciousness or whatever was going on and his son was going to have to watch.

That Sirius was slated to die defying Voldemort was probably the most likely outcome he'd have expected, it filled his mind with ice he couldn't think past and made his ribs feel as if they were crushing him from the inside, but that he could at least handle just as he had with the information of his own death, that was the only way to go as far as he was concerned. No, it was his own son having to watch it, to all but feel the pleasure it would cause the Dark Lord.

He kept brushing his son's hair back, the scar not yet present on him, his eyes open and looking curiously with his wife's eyes mirror imaged into his face. He didn't know how to handle looking at Harry now, didn't know how to help him with this.

He'd been there for Sirius for everything, he'd been the one to first offer Animagus to help Remus, he'd been Peter's comfort when he'd broken up with his girlfriend of three years because Prongs knew how to handle everything. He'd been there for Lily's pregnancy even when she hadn't wanted him around, but now he had nothing for his only child.

James didn't want to come out of here until he had an answer for that, he felt like a failure all he was capable of doing was sitting there and listening. He knew he was only going to get through it himself by keeping his brother under his arm, know he was breathing right beside him until they could find a way to stop this and make sure it never happened this way if they could help it. For Harry though, it had already happened, and he didn't know how to help.

Harry trudged uneasily back down the stairs, honestly a bit relieved his dad had ignored the door as he still didn't know what he'd been planning on saying, but he'd still felt like he owed him something, some way to apologize for putting him through all this, through his own life. He stopped halfway down the stairs though, and just sat there, gazing into the living room through the bars of the banister, pressing his forehead to them as he watched Sirius still trying to chat enthusiastically towards Remus and Lily like this was nothing. He was perched on the table right in front of them, using his hands to vividly describe something, but the words were a blur to Harry, he was just watching his godfather. So full of life, far more than he'd ever known in his own time.

Remus sat and watched Sirius talking at them as if from a great distance. Whatever Padfoot was trying to convey wasn't getting through, and he wanted to honestly knock him on his head even if he did admire how blasé he was forcing himself to be about all this, he knew he'd be a hysterical mess if he'd just heard the same. Harry had just realized McGonagall couldn't help, no one could, if Sirius wasn't already doomed than he would be long before anyone from the Order made a check on him, like his own useless arse. He couldn't believe he'd let this happen to him, and if he wasn't dead from having tried to stop all this, than his life really was an utter waste.

Lily wasn't listening either, though Sirius seemed blissfully unaware of his inattentive audience. She kept watching Harry on the stairs, eyes only on his godfather, the only person who'd ever been there for his life. The pain of losing him once would have been the worst of his life, which was really saying something after all he'd been through, now he was being forced to do so again. Her mind felt like a broken puzzle with all the pieces missing but the very edges, she tried to force herself to put something together that would make this all okay and kept coming up with nothing.

Sirius was well aware his enthusiastically chatting about what even he wasn't sure was not helping anyone, even himself. He was just talking, because if he stopped he'd be forced to come back and realize he'd have to keep listening, and glory he still didn't understand why Harry was doing this to himself. Remus was beside himself with anger for all this so he was no help, so when he finally followed Lily's gaze and saw him again, he cut himself off mid sentence and went over to Harry, flouncing down next to him and stating, "fancy seeing you here!"

Harry met his solid gray eyes and forceful smile, and just shook his head in exasperation. "How do you do that?"

"Do what?" Sirius batted his eyes innocently, honestly he was just pleased to have gotten a response.

"You act like, and don't kid yourself Sirius I know it's an act, but you're really trying to convince me you're okay with this?"

Sirius released a huffy breath, tipping his face up to the ceiling so Harry couldn't find the lie, "what can I say, I'm going out doing the exact opposite of what my parents always wanted, it's like a dream come true!"

"You use that a lot," Harry accused, "but I know you better. Why can't you just say you're proud of yourself not letting Voldemort win?"

Sirius' smile remained flippant even as he looked back to Harry, his eyes softened with agreement. "Wasn't quite sure you'd get that Harry, thought you'd just be mad at me for my excursion from Grimmauld place like we all know I've been doing." He watched Harry closely, and was surprised at the look flitting across his face, his hand jumping to his temple now trembling all over again. There was something of what Sirius said that wasn't quite in line with this-

"But even that's not really it. It's still, more like a dream to me. A nightmare I'll give you, but if I let myself panic that's how my future ends than that also means I'd have to accept I spent twelve years in Azkaban and that's not something I'm going to let happen, especially now that I can get myself out of there just as fast. You're here now Harry, sharing all this with us, and we've learned the worst of it. So now, we can stop, and we can fix it!"

Harry wished he could agree with him, that he could just so easily let this go, but there was something bothering him now more greatly than ever. 'A dream, a nightmare really...'

"I'm sorry Sirius, I just can't! I have to know what happened to you! You understand that, right?"

Sirius met his eyes steadily. He saw guilt heavy in Harry, like somehow even now he was blaming this all on himself when it had been Sirius' decision to leave that place. Harry wanted details of that blame, to further pin himself with, and Sirius wasn't happy giving that to him, but then he realized what he'd already known the moment he looked into that kid's face, it was nigh impossible to deny him anything. It was going to kill him faster than any spell Voldemort could use on him, but the larger part of him only caved because he wanted to be there for Harry. Like he couldn't have been back when he was fifteen, because he'd been selfish and taken off out of that house and gotten caught like an idiot. Harry had every right to hate him, this was more his fault than anyone's for putting Harry through this, so he'd give Harry the chance to tell him just that when he realized it.

He gave in with a long suffering sigh, telling him, "alright, let's go fetch Prongs then, convince him the weight of the world isn't all on him, I really wish that was one trait you hadn't inherited."

Harry hesitated to follow Sirius back up the stairs, but Sirius was still waving his hand with a heavy exaggerating motion for Harry to come along. If he couldn't convince Harry to drop this, than he at least was trying to convince himself being there for Harry now while he had to hear about this would somehow make it bearable, while he still had the chance.

Sirius did no such thing as knock, once he'd gotten Harry to his feet and they'd gone back to the stairs. He walked right in, and grabbed his brother by the scruff of his shirt and tried to pull him to his feet as much as he could while still minding that was his nephew in his lap. "Come on Prongs," he clapped his hands and used his 'we're fixing to go down for a day long Quidditch practice voice.' "I know you've contemplated killing me a thousand and one times, so this is a grave disappointment to you with someone else doing it, but I know you'll find a way to live with it."

James' eyes were bloodshot as he glared up at Sirius and said flatly, "you're an arse."

"I'm your arse," Sirius agreed. "Why else would Evans' have fallen for you? Certainly not that face."

Harry continued watching Sirius like he'd lost his mind, but the joke won out as James let himself be dragged to his feet just so he could give a halfhearted nudge at Sirius' ribs as he passed. He hesitated at the threshold, but then Padfoot prodded him in the back, and Harry was trying to go ahead while glancing back at them like he hoped Sirius would change his mind about this any second.

Fine then, James decided, he'd find a new way to be there for Harry, deflecting Sirius for Harry. That's what he was best at, nobody could take that away from him.

Lily had been trying to force herself to go up the stairs, but she was trembling so hard Remus was watching her in concern when she couldn't get past the first step. She was afraid to look Sirius in the face again, or she'd start ticking down the seconds he had left. She was terrified of looking at Harry and see his world being so utterly broken. She couldn't even begin how to comfort her husband as basically his worst thought kept coming to live in this print, but that wasn't going to stop her from trying!

The moment she did catch sight of them though, she tried to dart up to meet them, all action pumping back through her now that they were back in front of her, but Sirius waved her off.

"Nope, no more running up the stairs, especially you Evans."

"Potter," James corrected automatically, and Sirius grinned where he couldn't see that he'd gotten his response lacking from before.

James was ignored anyways.

"You wouldn't let me skip the dragon chapter! This is my revenge."

"Oh, we get to hear Harry see you die instead, that's so much more pleasant!" Remus snarled, forcing himself not to shout that in his face as Sirius waltzed over to him hands on his hips.

"It wouldn't be revenge if it was pleasant," Sirius said with chipper as he met his hard eyes. "Now Moony, be a dear and move," he gestured back to where he'd been sitting.

"You're so bossy, telling me and Prongs to move at the same time," he huffed as he finally forced himself to get up as well but crossed his arms and now glowered down at Sirius, being taller than him rarely had an advantage and this was one that never worked.

Sirius turned away without concern as he pushed the table out of the way, and then magicked the two sofas so the cushions were facing each other and it was all one giant seat, then he threw himself over the edge and splayed out inside leisurely. It was reminiscent of their old dorm room, and Sirius would frequently push all the beds together then as well. He claimed to do it so he had more space to stretch out and kick Peter and Remus when they snored, but this always tended to happen on the nights his parents had sent him yet another letter full of something nasty, so they'd rarely argued the point. "I remember you lot panicking back in Harry's third year thinking I was going to kick the bucket then to, might make you all less jumpy if there wasn't a huge space, nah I'll make it easy on you and I'll sit in the middle."

"Now we all get to smack him at once, I like this idea," Lily huffed, reaching down to do just that. He'd threatened to rearrange her living room weekly because of some reason or another, and now he'd finally gotten his way and she couldn't even argue the point, damn this man.

The others didn't argue anymore either, as they all piled in with no real order anymore, they were all just kind of bunched around. James jumped in last with the least enthusiasm, still clutching his son tightly to him and giving Lily an apologetic look for this. "Sorry, I'm sure you don't want him down here, I just couldn't-" he broke off, but Lily understood. She saw the frantic look in his eyes, he was only holding himself together because of his innocent child.

Lily only reached over and took his hand in a silent promise this was all going to work out as Harry pulled the book away from Sirius, he still wasn't going to let anyone do this but him, though that argument would probably come up again at the end when this was over.

Harry could hardly repeat the words she was gone.*

James muttered anxiously a bit more. They'd all felt the harsh weight of what had happened to McGonagall, and now somehow it all felt even worse when they needed her now more than ever.

The bell rang, and the normal classes were let out, as Harry's terror continued to rise.

Sirius wished he could offer some word of comfort, but at this point he knew how hollow it would feel, and he worried it would only make it worse.

Dumbledore and Hagrid were gone, but Harry had always thought McGonagall would be here! Irascible, inflexible, but always a solid presence.

Even as Harry read it he could feel that tightening of his breath, he'd never wanted to imagine the school without her and what would become of it, and now he was living in a nightmare in his mind.

Madam Pomfrey was sympathetic to his shock, saying they never could have done such a thing to her in daylight, it was despicable cowardice. She'd quit if she didn't fear what would happen to the students without her.

"I'm sure everyone else feels that way." Lily said bitterly.

"We're lucky the school hasn't emptied out from people in protest and only the Inquisitorial Squad was left." Remus huffed.

Both found it immensely hard to claim at normal words rather than continuing to scream in fear, but somehow, so long as they just kept talking, this just had to feel better.

Harry wasn't listening anymore, walking blindly through corridors with no destination as a panic exploded inside him and he didn't know who to turn to...

"Harry, you're going to make yourself sick," Sirius tried to pleadingly cut him off again. No matter how much he insisted he had to do this, Sirius couldn't stand watching him spew out the words in pain.

Harry could not ignore Sirius even if he'd wanted to, he'd never wanted his godfather around more in his life and now he was being given the gift of being right next to him, but that didn't stop him pushing past his discomfort, he just hoped he wasn't going to vomit on them all at once in the process to keep going.

It hit him though in a flash, Ron and Hermione.

Darting back through faster than he ever had in his life, he was back in front of the Entrance Hall where Ron and Hermione were searching anxiously for him, and he dragged them to the nearest available vacant room before telling them Voldemort had Sirius.

Hearing it said like that, put so bluntly for his own ears, Sirius sat deep into his seat and ran his hand down his face. It was fear, anger, desperation that had his knees dragging up to his chest, making several tight throat noises. He hated seeing what this was doing to his family, he couldn't stand watching Harry go through this when likely the only thing keeping him going face to face with Voldemort was the knowledge Harry was far away from this and safe.

They tried to ask questions, but Harry wouldn't hear of it as he told all he'd seen, that it was going to end soon with Voldemort killing him!

The truth hit them all, like a blow ready to topple the whole house. They looked from Harry, to Sirius, and they knew.

"No, no, Harry," Lily couldn't help pleading against the universe. "You can't go! That's-"

"I don't care," Harry said, his voice steadier than it had been since the vision. "I don't regret this," the truth of that at least put some center back in his life. "I had to help him," that though nearly broke something inside him permanently, and he had to use every ounce of self control to stop himself. The guilt was instantly coming back, and he feared his mind was only trying to hide the knowledge that he would be too late.

Lily's panic stilled, and she understood. She couldn't have sat idly by either, none of them would have, no matter what.

James had to make sure Harry knew this as he told him, "I know Harry. You've done the same I would do over and over again."

"We've certainly had enough practice at it," Remus muttered, he hadn't stopped shaking this whole time, but his voice swore nothing but a steady hand.

Sirius couldn't find it in himself to be angry at Harry like he should have been, he couldn't fault him for doing exactly what he'd have done as well in roles reverse. He looked up and shook himself off, his only regret being he probably hadn't a chance in his own time to tell Harry how proud he was, so he corrected that in here.

Without wanting it allowed for a single second, they all began to almost hope again. Harry would get there, he'd figure this out and he'd confront Voldemort and Sirius would get out of this!

Harry didn't know what to say, he most certainly had no sense of the same thing they were all trying to hide from him. He certainly didn't feel like he deserved it. In his panic hued mind, he just knew their comfort for him wouldn't last, though at this point it was impossible for this to get worse.

Then he demanded how they were going to get there?

Ron stuttered in surprise, trying to say but-

Harry cut them off angrily what was so important but that answer! He could not understand why they were looking at him as if unreasonable.

"Yes, because facing Voldemort at eleven over a Stone was fun, but now it's a little more overwhelming," Remus snapped.

Sirius gave him a hard nudge, he wouldn't begrudge anyone not wanting to go on this suicide mission for him, and he wouldn't let anyone else either no matter how much it hurt him if he'd really lost Ron and Hermione's loyalty somewhere along the way, he never thought he'd gotten that bad...

Hermione managed in a frightened voice how had Voldemort gotten Sirius inside the Ministry of Magic without anyone seeing?

Lily shivered hatefully as well as she tried to concoct scenarios for that, of Death Eaters and disguises and powerfully deep magic of a compliant Sirius up until the point it was no longer needed. She did not blame Hermione wanting to understand, but hopefully her priority would be as it had always been, helping those who needed it; though she instantly regretted the thought.

Harry was safe and alive, but was she? Ron? If Harry managed to save Sirius' life but got his friends killed in the process, somehow she knew how much worse that would feel, and her heart burned already at just the thought.

Harry shouted that didn't matter!

Hermione wouldn't give in though, saying how illogical this was, the two most notable faces just walking in in the middle of the afternoon?

Harry said that corridor was always empty when he was there-

but Hermione reminded he'd never actually been.

"Yes he has," James ground out, forcing himself not to start shouting at someone who wasn't here. "Once I'll give, but-"

"Stop James," Lily whispered quietly, putting her shaking hand over his. Clearly he hadn't been doing a very good job of that not shouting thing, as he realized his infant was squirming in discomfort in his grasp. He cradled his son, murmuring to him gently for a moment and only when he'd been soothed did Lily continue. "She's only trying to help, in her own way. She doesn't want this to be true anymore than us."

"Doesn't make this anymore helpful," James seethed, his vision still flashing red, but he couldn't seem to keep going anyways.

All he'd ever done was dreamt about the place.

Harry got right in her face as he reminded those weren't normal dreams! He'd seen Mr. Weasley's attack!

Ron was convinced now, but Hermione still couldn't let go of how unlikely this was, why was Sirius even there? He was supposed to be inside Grimmauld Place.

"Has she really believed that, because I was almost happier not," Remus said deadpan. It had been the only way he'd been coping with Sirius trapped back in that place at all hours, the thought of him getting out now and again, probably when he'd come over for a chance. He couldn't imagine how miserable his last friends life would have been in that past year, and the idea of him ending now, after all that, it wasn't bearable!

Ron offered he'd poked his nose out finally, he'd been locked up for ages-

but Hermione insisted on the why? Why would Voldemort take him to get this weapon?

"We know he's already tried to use one Order member and someone who works in the department, it does seem the criteria is a bit off," Lily agreed. Though she in no way begrudged Hermione questioning this like the boys so clearly did, she wished Hermione would do this on the way or something. She hated how Harry continued to look more sickly by the second, how he was likely to pass out or start crying, screaming, anything, but instead he kept pressing more words out as his only way to cope, and that was going to run out, they wouldn't let him say the words.

Harry did not regard this for a moment, but Ron wondered if Sirius might know something. His brother was a Death Eater, maybe he'd told Sirius something about this before he'd been murdered.

"But I haven't spoken to Regulus since he was sixteen," Sirius shook his head for that, "and he's certainly never mentioned anything like this. Last I heard our parents were only wanting him to join up as well, he hadn't even gotten in quite yet, though he'd hardly said he didn't want to," he finished bitterly, wishing he had a chance to understand that more. What had changed about Regulus he'd gone from severing his brother from his life for not wanting this, to trying to leave himself? While dead depressing to consider, somehow questioning this was helping him be a little more okay with his own, he certainly loved that the both of them would go out defying Voldemort in some way.

Harry jumped on this, saying it was probably why Dumbledore had kept Sirius locked up.

"I think Ron's made some good point though," James whispered. They'd thought all this had been for Sirius' own good, but was there some other reason going on there? Maybe not exactly as Ron had offered...

Hermione refused though, saying there was no proof Voldemort really had Sirius-

"Is his word not proof enough?" Remus demanded, looking very near murderous himself now.

"Moony," Sirius tried again.

"No!" Remus barked. "I am sick and tired of her demanding every answer! If you died because she was sitting around-"

"Remus," Harry cut in. He was not saying all this with the same anger had had in his youth at Hermione, and they just thought that was because he had Sirius with him now. That didn't mean he was going to let them berate his friends who weren't here.

Remus bit his tongue hard to stop himself going, admitting this wasn't helping either. Honestly he may have just been delaying, as he didn't want to hear the final blow when it would come no matter who had done what.

Ron shouted at her now Harry had seen these things-

but Hermione ignored him and told Harry all this more than likely tied back to Harry's saving people thing.

"Oh, that was entirely the wrong thing to say," Lily rubbed at her temple. She knew she could see Hermione's point here, she was trying to protect Harry and stop him from going, but that had been entirely the wrong way to do it.

James and Remus only stopped themselves ripping Hermione's head off for Harry's sake, that was not a trait they'd ever accuse him of when they found it one of his most admiring qualities considering his past, now it was being put to use to save their brother!

Voldemort knew this, and though she stuttered in a bit of surprise at the look on Harry's face,

"Clearly not enough, as she's still talking," James said through gritted teeth.

she tried to say this could all be-

Harry demanded if that's really what she thought this was, him acting the hero?!

Hermione said no, aghast that's what he'd grasped on.

"Then she'd better get to her point bloody fast," Sirius shook his head at her for this. If Hermione didn't want to help, then fine, but goading Harry like this was only going to make things worse.

She'd just meant Voldemort knew this about him! He'd taken Ginny into the Chamber to lure him there, and the same thing could be happening now, because he was the type of person to run to Sirius' aid as a lure-

"Does she really think you'd care?" Remus said aghast. How well did Hermione even know Harry, to really think that would stop him at a time like this?!

Harry roared he didn't care about that! There was no one here in the Order to tell,

Harry wasn't shouting now, his voice kept getting quieter with repression of all he was feeling, and nearly died right then and there. There was something he was missing, something it was impossible to concentrate on, and it helped nothing the panic and anger around him could offer nothing but fueling his own. Normally he found comfort they all cared so much to be feeling the same, but Harry suddenly wished he could claim some distance from this, just some time to think or he was really going to regret this...

and if they didn't leave right now, Sirius was going to die!

Hermione insisted what if this really was just a dream?

"I don't understand how she can think that!" James snarled with frustration. "Either she thinks he should have been learning Occlumency to stop seeing this, or she thinks he's losing his mind! She just said this could all be one plan, but now she's going to back saying it isn't even happening with nothing to back that up! Now is not the time for her to be flipping to one or the other at her choosing!"

Harry's shaking was increasing with every fiery word James spat. James wanted to keep shouting, to vent and rage at someone for putting Sirius into this situation, for Harry having to live through it twice now because of all this, but he probably couldn't have even if he'd wanted to, he was long since living off of reserve air since it didn't feel like there was any in here.

Harry made a maddening noise that had Hermione stepping back from him in fright. He shouted at the top of his lungs this was real! He'd been supposed to be learning Occlumency because no one wanted him to know these things! He didn't recall her complaints of saving people when he'd been protecting her from dementors, he even rounded on Ron and reminding he had saved Ginny from that Basilisk!

Ron said defensively he was on Harry's side.

"Yeah, don't turn on the one who's actually trying to be of help there," Remus spat, though Harry flinching made him instantly regret the harsh words pouring out.

Hermione forcefully put in he'd said it himself, no one had wanted him to see this and if he'd just been doing his Occlumency he never would have-

"Now who's creating facts, twisting up her own opinion," James seethed while Lily's hands tightened around his, both were trembling so much James lowered their baby into his lap so he wouldn't feel it as much. Now cushioned in his father's lap, it gave Lily the opportunity to brush at James' jaw, and soothe him for just a moment so he wouldn't keep making this worse for Harry arguing with someone who wasn't here.

Harry said louder than ever if she really thought he was going to pretend he hadn't seen this-

Hermione pleaded Sirius wouldn't him to-

Harry shouted at the top of his lungs he'd be saying something different right now!

"I don't know if you'd win that actually," Sirius sighed as he watched Harry, who looked up at him wild eyed. "Well I'm certainly not going to tell you off for what I'd have done in a heartbeat, but I won't say either I wanted you to see this! To know you-" he broke off, with a desperate look Harry understood. If Sirius' worst nightmare was going back to Azkaban, than it was his waking torment having to see Harry watch this happen.

For just a moment, Harry agreed, he wished he had never seen this, and it was breaking something inside him to keep going with this knowledge.

The classroom door opened then, Ginny and Luna coming in saying they'd heard him shouting.

Ginny offered if they could help, and Harry forcefully told them no and to get out.

Luna told him he was being rude.

"Oh, I wonder why that is," Lily rolled her eyes, the movement feeling very forced in her tense face. No one wanted anymore distractions, which was exactly what this felt like. Now it was more of a curse of delaying the inevitable, whatever that was, and this wasn't helping.

Hermione looked relieved though, saying they could help. They had to establish Sirius really wasn't at Headquarters.

Harry snarled he wasn't-

but Hermione pleaded to just do this! Check on Sirius, and if he wasn't there, she'd do whatever she could to save him!

"It's a waste of time," Remus hissed. "Harry's word should be good enough!"

"I'd just go without her and screw her non help," James agreed furiously. "When's she ever been there when Harry really needed her! He's always done this on his own-"

"Stop," Harry snapped, some of that anger from Hermione being pushed at them now. "It's not their fault I've always had to do this alone, I'm grateful for once in my life they are around! If this is what it takes to get Hermione to help than I'll do whatever she bloody asks, I need her."

James cursed several times in agitation, both in language and spells, though since he wasn't holding his wand now at least nothing was happening. He was beyond angry, frustrated, and a million other things at having to hear about this and he had no patience to put up with Harry's friend right now, but clearly he wasn't getting a say in the matter.

Harry shouted in her face again Sirius was being tortured now!

Lily was growing worried Harry wasn't acting the same way now as he had at fifteen. She wasn't sure she wanted to understand why, why was he still stuck on that resigned fear he was struggling so much more to shake off into anger like he had then?

Hermione insisted what if this was a trick!

Harry was forced to consider for a moment before he demanded how she planned this check then?

Umbridge's office, Hermione said at once. Ginny and Luna could help draw her away.

Clearly struggling to follow along, Ginny still agreed at once.

"I love this girl," Remus sighed. There was the proper response, why was Hermione missing it.

Luna simply asked if by Sirius, they meant Stubby Boardman?

"Let's go with yes," Sirius said slowly, as that's all he needed, some kid freaking out and calling the Aurors on top of everything...actually that could make something interesting if they saw Voldemort too, he liked to think they'd prioritize on the bigger threat.

She was ignored, as Harry said she'd better have a plan to do this right now, or he was going to the Department of Mysteries this instant.

Luna asked how he was getting there, and again, he ignored her.

"Why not just Floo there?" James offered with a mockery of his twisted grin. "Go along with Hermione's useless attempts to pretend like everything's okay, then get to the channel and go straight to the Ministry."

Harry moaned, he couldn't look at any of them as his head continued to beat furiously worse than ever. He had no answer, he'd had one simple goal in mind and that was get Hermione's help and go. Anything after that would be worked on the way, and this solution somehow had not worked its way in the process.

James had regretted asking Harry this at once, reaching out as soon as he realized what he'd done and holding his shoulder; slowly killing himself as he told Harry to just go on. If it killed him first at least he wouldn't have to hear the rest, but Harry would be okay because he'd have his answer and none of their stupid interruptions anymore.

Hermione did have a plan, saying Ron would go to her office and tell her Peeves was trashing the Transfiguration office, that was far enough away to keep her distracted for a solid five minutes.

Ron agreed at once, saying if he ran into Peeves on the way he could probably convince him to do it.

Harry shivered harder than ever, the book nearly slipping from his grasp. It was a stupid lie, why would something like that make him feel as if this could still somehow get worse!

It was a mark of the seriousness of the situation,

"Thank you so much Harry, but I'm sure we were all aware this situation is all about me," Sirius worked hard to get a smirk in place, to put his old teasing tone back in play.

Harry felt tears stinging at his vision for a moment, he couldn't even look at him for fear he'd burst. He'd never heard Sirius do that in his own time, his carefree and joking godfather had died in Azkaban, and now Harry couldn't rid himself of the idea no matter what plan was offered he was going to lose him in a much more permanent way.

Sirius looked pleadingly to James or Remus, like he almost wished one of them would smack him upside the head like they always did for that stupid joke, but neither could muster up the energy, both also fearing for this future of never hearing any such thing again and scolding him for doing it now would be like punishing themselves.

that Hermione made no objection to the real smashing up of the Transfiguration department. Instead she went to tell Ginny and Luna their part of the plan was to stop people being in Umbridge's office corridor while they were in there, Ginny at once offered the idea they'd spread Garrotting Gas like the twins were planning.

"What's that?" Sirius asked quickly, still it seemed trying to keep up some kind of conversation that no one wanted.

Lily took pity on him, even if he did know and was delaying she answered anyways. "It's actually quite dangerous, colorless and odorless, it wraps around your throat but of course no one can see what's happening, it'll take your head right off if it's in contact long enough. I hope Ginny's kidding about that being released in the school."

"I'm sure she was," Sirius opted to soothe some concern. "The twins prank more likely involved a severed head and claiming the cause."

Harry had never been more torn in his life about wanting to interrupt them and keep going before this pain in his skull was the death of him, or let them keep talking and help distract. The answer came to him easily enough, as his eyes seemed dragged back to the words, for an answer none of them could give.

When Hermione looked to her in surprise at the readiness of this fib, Ginny admitted the twins had been planning to do this before they left.

"Can we just skip to the part where you're visiting the twins on the opening day of their shop?" Sirius huffed, clearly still wanting more than any of them not to be hearing about this.

Remus gave his shoulder a comforting squeeze, and Sirius actually felt worse. He was supposed to be offering comfort for them, not the other way around, but it was getting harder by the moment to manage that as Harry's desperation kept growing with every word.

Hermione let it go and told Harry she'd be with him under the cloak inside the office, and Harry recognized this as her sign of loyalty.

Harry paused for just a moment to glare at Remus and James like he was hoping for an apology. Neither would back down, they still felt Hermione was wasting time, but both let their shoulders drop just a bit in recognition for Hermione trying...in her own way, even if it wasn't helpful now.

Harry agreed and went to go get his cloak, Hermione saying in surprise he wanted to do this now?

"Did she really think just because she offered some idea he'd put this idea off till summer," Remus couldn't help but keep furiously muttering.

Harry reminded Sirius was being tortured right now!

Hermione backed down and agreed they'd meet him at the end of Umbridge's office corridor.

Harry didn't wait around for more, flat out running to his common room and flat ignoring Seamus and Dean trying to pull him into a conversation about a common room party celebrating the end of exams.

Sirius ran his hand furiously through his hair again. He kept wishing for that to be Harry's life, and it never seemed to happen!

They didn't even seem to realize his hurry as they kept chatting about Harold Dingle offering to sell them some Firewhiskey.

"Who are they going to test to make sure it's not more Doxie droppings?" Sirius asked, his eyes shining too bright, and huffing in frustration when he was ignored. He wished now more than ever this was all Harry's greatest concern, but if Harry found out later he'd been partying while this had been happening to him, somehow that would be even worse on his pup, there was just no winning.

Harry made it back in time to watch the plan being put into motion, he and Hermione slipping under the cloak as the two girls went to opposite ends of the corridor and Ron went to get rid of Umbridge.

Hermione took the pause to ask if Harry was okay, he looked very pale.

"Oh yes, he's absolutely spiffing," Lily hissed. Hermione insisting to keep trying and soothe this was helping no one.

Harry did not answer, focusing more on his scar, sure it would pain him much worse than it was if Sirius had been dealt a fatal blow, it had been hurting even worse than this when Avery was being punished.

James made a pitiful whimpering noise, if Lily's hands hadn't been keeping his together tightly he'd have covered his ears again to stop that one getting through too late. He could never picture that, Sirius suffering like some wretched Death Eater!

There was a slight delay, as they heard Ginny arguing with someone and not believing her story, but Ginny won the argument and the corridor was now clear. Hermione whispered they were good now until the signal, which was one of them singing Weasley is our King.

"Well I can't say they're not good at this at least," Remus huffed, they'd covered their bases anyway.

Harry had grabbed Sirius' knife again as well, and he used it to again get through Umbridge's door. Hermione said in concern she'd thought there would be more protection up after that last niffler as the door swung open.

"Who says she didn't, Garroting Gas isn't the only thing that's undetectable sometimes," James sighed, but he couldn't be bothered with that now, whatever got them out of there faster, and being on a time limit was doing that just fine.

Harry ignored that as he surged forward, put his head back in the fireplace, and again sent half of himself along to Grimmauld place.

"You're only using your head again?" Sirius was curious about this one. "If you're trying to prove Hermione's point, then dashing around the whole place would have been much more helpful, I wouldn't necessarily hear you shouting from the kitchen if I'm up in Buckbeak's room again."

Harry couldn't stop it this time, as he doubled over and a wrenching pain shot through him like his own brain was fighting to get out.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry," Sirius pleaded at once, trying to wrap an arm around Harry. "No more stupid questions, promise!"

Harry pulled away though, he wouldn't accept comfort for this right now! It hurt too much to look at any of them, to know what his future was doing to their life, so he snatched the book back to him and kept going with more force than ever, he wouldn't let his mind do this to him if he had to curse it again to make it stop.

There was no one there, and though he'd been expecting this, it only managed to somehow make his panic worse. He still called out desperately, but oddly it was Kreacher who realized he was there, his hands newly heavily bandaged.

'What did he do to deserve that?' Sirius huffed with only the flicker of a thought. He did not speak this one aloud though, he'd already learned that lesson and they all feared if they interrupted Harry again with another question the sweat pouring down his face would somehow really find a way to take his whole head off. He'd come too close in the past to pushing himself too far, and if a moment had come where he might really do that to himself, this was it. They had to be more careful than ever not to push him, or let him do that to himself; finding out the answer to this too soon could mean Harry's death as surely as Sirius'.

Kreacher seemed almost pleased to see him, asking what he was doing here?

Harry demanded where Sirius was, and Kreacher said he was gone.

Harry demanded where.

'Now who's wasting time,' James bounced uneasily in place, his knee jittering so much his son nearly slipped right out of his lap. He forced himself to remain still, this was not Harry's fault, whatever happened...

Kreacher merely laughed, and Harry begged if anyone else was here. Kreacher denied this, saying he was all alone with his mistress again. Harry yelled one last time where was Sirius, was he at the Department of Mysteries?

"He wouldn't know that sweetheart," Lily almost managed to calmly tell him, but the reminder meant nothing to him.

Kreacher merely threw his head back and laughed, Harry shouting louder than ever Kreacher knew where he was!

'So do you,' Remus was biting his tongue until he tasted blood to stop himself snapping that at Harry. He couldn't understand why he was doing this Hermione's way at all, now he was sitting around arguing with an elf?! If Sirius wasn't right beside him right now he knew he'd have knocked down anyone in his way to get to him.

Kreacher only gleefully stated his master was never coming back, he was alone with his mistress again.

None of them had been in doubt about this, but somehow hearing Kreacher actually laugh about the fact made it real to Sirius like nothing yet had. He was going to die, never to come back to that house just like he swore when he was sixteen and Kreacher had laughed then too when the door had slammed shut behind him, except now this time, he wouldn't be getting a choice in that...

Harry could do nothing as the elf went back out of sight, but suddenly he was being wrenched back into Umbridge's office, with the woman's hand clutching his hair, head tilted all the way back to face her as if she were about to slit his throat.

Lily said something quite unintelligible in an angry shriek that had their infant crying up a storm. She couldn't take it anymore, the last thing they needed was Umbridge interfering in this!

It took all of his concentration to convince his infant to stop, and finally James realized he was being selfish. He wanted his son down here for that comfort, the warmth seeing his child always managed to give him, but now they were hurting him and nothing was worth that. He had to wrestle his way back to his feet to go and put him back in his crib, and Lily followed him studiously.

Sirius watched them go with a critical eye, but Harry made a desperate noise when he'd made to follow, and Sirius acknowledged he couldn't leave Harry right now, but those two had better come back- they were within the next moment. They were protecting their infant as well as putting themselves in any way they could to be helping Harry through this as well as Sirius.

There was already a scuffle going on as Hermione's wand was being taken away, and before Harry knew it his was as well. Umbridge kept her hold on Harry bent double backwards as she demanded to know why he was in her office?

Harry was quite glad he had the book now, finally something he could focus on. He could feel the tense disgust of those around him, even in their panic of Sirius' fate they could never condone anything that was being done to Harry like this, and any of them would have likely ripped the book to shreds again for that woman putting her hands back on Harry like this. Harry though didn't want the break of having to deal with repairing the book again, because this wasn't important right now. He didn't have a care for this, it was only helping him to finally redirect his thoughts into something manageable other than utter panic, and dealing with Umbridge was just that.

Harry gave a lie of looking for his Firebolt, but Umbridge knew that for what it was at once as she pushed him away and he collided with her desk. Now he had a better view of the office, and he saw all four of them were being held by members of the Inquisitorial squad, as well as Neville. All four were gagged.

James felt it somewhere in him, surprise for something, but it was quickly overrode by his thudding heart that refused to let anything else flash across his mind but Sirius writhing at Voldemort's feet. He couldn't picture this in his head like he normally could, was hardly following along with what Harry was telling him unless it put him one step closer to being back near Sirius.

Umbridge looked just as surprised to see Neville as Harry, so Warrington explained while keeping a choke hold on him that he'd tried to stop them from taking Ginny.

Umbridge was unconcerned as she turned back to Potter, nodding at Ron and saying he'd sent this buffoon,

"Name calling, that's what we've been resorted to?" Sirius said flatly, he couldn't believe he was still one of the only ones trying to mock this, but he didn't know what else to do with himself being sandwiched as he was.

to come draw her away, though Filch had been in only moments before telling her Peeves was in fact messing with the telescopes on the Astronomy tower.

Lily's hands tightened into fists around James, her nails digging in painfully to his and he really couldn't even concentrate on that. It was yet another injustice in their son's life he couldn't seem to go one moment, for anything to have gone right!

It was clearly important he get in here, and she wanted to know why! Was he speaking to Dumbledore, or that oaf Hagrid? It couldn't be McGonagall, she was still unable to speak to anyone.

Malfoy laughed along with the rest of his squad.

Remus made a disgusted noise, his anger beating through him so much he felt as if for the first time in his life he understood Moony, that anger and power surging through a body he had no control over, merely wanting to strike out at something when there was nothing there. If it wasn't for Padfoot and Prongs being right here he may well have snapped and tried to take someone's throat out for laughing at a time like this!

Harry gave the reply of it was none of her business.

Umbridge took to this by telling Draco to go fetch Snape.

Harry withered on the spot, feeling woozy and sick as one of his earlier problems flushed back to him in understanding. He'd forgotten about an Order member, he'd forgotten about Snape!

"That, that-" Remus stuttered as he tried to cling to his anger, trying to force some justification how this had occurred to none of them, but suddenly they felt like arrogant, fool headed idiots! Snape was the largest prick of their life, but surely he was the one person left who had some means to contact the Order! He'd insult Harry and belittle him and do everything to make them want him dead while doing it, but all of this was actually for nothing!

Lily sobbed, hot bitter tears actually tracing down her cheeks. If Snape hadn't spent the past five years treating her son like scum, maybe he would have crossed their mind in time in time for help, her mind, as once someone she'd trusted completely. Now suddenly he hadn't even been considered as a last resort because of all the horrible things he'd done, now he was just the one leaving them all clinging to some desperate last attempt that someone other than Harry could know what was being done to their brother.

James pulled her tight to him, brushing at her cheeks and refusing to let her feel this alone, but James only felt the blame for this all the more. It always circled back to him and Snape, if he'd just ignored Snape rather than everything he'd done to him Harry would have someone to turn to, Sirius might have already been out of this mess, but no, because of James bloody Potter Snape hadn't crossed Harry's mind until it was almost too late, maybe it already was.

Sirius shook his head furiously, he'd had enough. He couldn't just sit here and keep watching the lot of them like this, and he reached for the book again. For now he'd only been intending to read it, like he was hoping himself pushing through this would put this back into perspective for them he was still here now to read about old Snivellus once again ruining their life, but this time Harry ignored him intentionally, he wouldn't be coddled for another of his mistakes!

Malfoy jogged off to do just that, and Harry didn't even realize it as he felt the weight of his own stupidity.

"You weren't the only one," Remus bitterly reminded, his eyes still distant and hardly hearing a thing.

"Hermione forgot too," Sirius reminded loudly in hopes to keep their attention, and that did work for just a moment. Hermione, who'd been trying everything to keep Harry from doing this, had no more remembered the last standing member at the school than any of them. It didn't make them feel better, but it was just a touch less miserable to realize.

The rest of Harry's friends spent the few minutes waiting trying to escape their captors. Hermione was being pinned against the wall by Millicent Bulstrodes back, Ron had a cut lip and was trying to wrestle out of his arm being twisted behind his back, Ginny was trying to kick the shin of her captors and Neville was slowly turning blue from the choke hold. Luna alone seemed unconcerned, gazing out the window as if bored with all this.

"Honestly, that could be the most terrifying and useful thing of all," Sirius managed with forced chipper. "Surprise attack, act limp until they're least expecting it."

"Something you'd never master if you lived to a hundred," Lily tried to snip back, her reflex of picking on him never seemed to die off at least, and Sirius smirked at her.

Snape came quickly to the summons, looking around the sight with indifference.

"And here I thought I'd finally found something to make that walking grease trap smile, children in pain," Sirius said in vain, there was always one good fall back and that was insulting Snape. He didn't even get a reaction from Lily that time though.

Umbridge politely requested another bottle of Veritaserum from him.

"Another?" James demanded in surprise. He'd thought nothing could distract him from his vivid mental image, but that certainly had, and though a part of him wanted to die at misplacing his fear for Sirius for even a moment, it truly did turn out his son could keep his attention over anything.

Snape reminded she'd taken his last bottle to interrogate Potter.

"But when did she-" Remus began in genuine confusion before it snapped together in their mind. Umbridge offering Harry a drink, and how she'd kept questioning him after he'd supposedly done it...

"Merlin's wand that woman!" Lily yelped, her blotchy face far more menacing than Umbridge's could ever hope to be. "She, she actually-"

"I can't say I'm surprised," Sirius said in disgust as he watched Harry, "but glory am I more proud than ever you didn't take a drop of that!"

"Could, could she really have, could I really have told her-" Harry gasped in fear.

"No," James comforted even if this had long since happened. "Sirius is under protection from that house in a ton of magical ways, at least one of which is the Fidelius Charm, and you can't be magically forced to say anything about someone under that. It has to be willing. You just couldn't have answered."

Harry nodded slowly, his hand clenched painfully along the book as the scar on his right hand burned more than it ever had from those detentions. He couldn't believe what Umbridge had almost made him do, like it would be his fault if Sirius- Harry shook again, rasping in pain and nearly reduced to tears himself from it all. He had to keep going, that would make this better, whatever his thoughts were trying to kill him with would be ignored if he just kept going!

He asked if she'd really used it all? He'd told her three drops would be sufficient.

Umbridge flushed.

"She could have killed you!" Lily said faintly as she still hadn't gotten over this realization, even if the implications weren't pertaining to Sirius anymore. "That much, from that vial! You'd have told every secret you'd ever had and then dropped dead from such an amount!"

"Let's just be grateful for Moody and that blue eyed kitten then," James soothed, stroking her hair as they kept watching Harry more grateful than ever, something he could not understand in his current mind set.

Umbridge demanded he make more then, and Snape said that would take a month. He wasn't surprised to find Potter in here, he'd never shown much care for school rules.

He flickered his gaze to Harry with a malicious smile, and Harry pressed the image still filling his mind, yearning for Snape to see it, to understand!

"That'll work though," Sirius hissed in triumph, even if the idea of being rescued by Snivellus made him contemplate if being around Voldemort wasn't just a touch better- he cut that thought off, even he knew when something wasn't funny.

Snape offered her some poison, but those were often too fast acting to do her any good for interrogations.

"He's, lying, to her," Lily said slowly as her brain worked sluggishly to realize this. That was a flat out lie, there were several poisons Snape more than likely had on stock that could leave a person in horrid amounts of pain for days, concocted purely for the act of interrogations. There were even other levels of truth serum Snape likely had on hand, yet he was denying any knowledge of all that...the warmth that suddenly flushed through her made her want to leap up and hug him for the first time since he'd appeared in these. He was a hateful, bitter arse to her son and everyone he seemingly came in contact with, but her old friend Sev did still exist! He was trying to help Harry!

The others watched this revelation flood over Lily with only minimal care, even as they realized the same thing. Though if Snape was the cause of Sirius getting out of this, the Marauders all grudgingly vowed they wouldn't speak a mean word of him again...okay, maybe at least not wish him dead anymore.

Snape again glanced at Harry, who began mentally chanting what was going through his mind in desperation.

"This only goes to show how piss he was at teaching Occlumency though," for the first time in his life, there wasn't a touch of anything remotely cruel when speaking of Snape in James' tone. "He would have grasped that with the image you showed him, he's not that stupid." Even the insult at the end held nothing but polite information.

Umbridge put him on probation for being unhelpful.

"Now she knows our grief," Remus agreed.

She'd expected better of him at a time like this with all Lucius Malfoy had said of him.

"Well that's what she gets taking the word of a Death Eater," Sirius sniffed.

"Lesson likely not learned," James said grimly.

Snape turned to leave the office, and in one last desperate attempt Harry shouted after him he had Padfoot at the place where it was hidden!

"That was, brilliant Harry!" James breathed, his eyes finally flitting with pure, real hope. "He'd know our nicknames, even if he hadn't realized where in the Department of Mysteries before, he would now!"

Harry struggled to look up at them like he'd been previously refusing to, he couldn't at all grasp what they were feeling about this because he knew it was all for nothing. His panic wasn't slowing, his urge to run away or never let Sirius go again still at war. This was only a distraction, a problem in his way, but they were all acting like this was going to make it better. He wished he could believe them, and it crushed him to take that away from them when he kept going without a hint of agreeing.

Umbridge grew excited at once, demanding to know what all that meant?

"Far more than you could ever understand," Sirius hissed. He refused to allow Harry to keep torturing himself as he tightened his hold on him, Snape had to do one useful thing in his life, right?

Snape coldly said he had not a clue. Before he left he told Crabbe to loosen his hold on Longbottom before he suffocated, even he couldn't make that look good on an application for his future.

"Oh, well that's nice. At least he doesn't contend murder on students, we've finally found where he draws the line," Remus mock celebrated.

"Lets see how far that extends," James whispered, fear still gripping him from saying more as he looked from Harry to Sirius, he couldn't shake off as easily his son was showing no signs of relief at this taking place.

He closed the door behind him with a snap, leaving Harry in a state of worse turmoil than before: Snape had been his very last hope.

"What makes you think he didn't understand?" Lily pleaded. "What did you want him to do, wink at you? If he'd given a clue he did know what you meant, Umbridge would have done something preventing him from telling even longer!"

"I, I don't know," Harry said miserably, he couldn't look at any of them for fear he'd start seeing that hate any moment he was so sure would come eventually. He kept going loudly to prevent anyone saying more, he had no defense for himself now more than ever for what came next.

Umbridge began pacing furiously, saying she had no alternative, this was an issue of Ministry security.

"I don't like this, and I thought I was already at that limit," Sirius muttered uneasily, he didn't like to think what Umbridge would do to Harry when she was pushed to her breaking point, which they seemed to have reached.

She turned on Potter, the wand drawn, and said the Cruciatus Curse should loosen his tongue.

James's jaw flopped open, he was sure he hadn't heard that right! There was just no way the universe would do this to him, having Harry and Sirius being tortured at the same time! James would absolutely lose his mind, he would snap in half, there was no doubt of this!

Hermione shrieked at Umbridge that was illegal!

"Much of what she's done has been illegal, this is-" Lily couldn't keep going, in anger or fear or anything, her head was throbbing as hard as Harry's must be, her vision was double. This could not be happening to her son again!

Umbridge gave this no care as she pointed her wand at different parts of Harry's body as if deciding where this would hurt the worst.

Sirius could not breathe. Even being under Voldemort's foot right now would never hurt as bad as this! That madman wasn't poking and prodding trying to decide how to do the most pain, he just inflicted! The Cruciatus Curse came from intent, of how much pain you wanted to cause, now it was being decided what was worse than that!

The worst part to all of them was still Harry's lack of, of anything! He kept going with the same flighty panic as when he'd started because all he could think about was this happening to Sirius, clearly the same being bestowed upon him was not crossing his mind!

Muttering mostly to herself what the Minister didn't know wouldn't hurt him, he'd never known about her dementors from last summer, but he'd certainly been delighted by the chance they offered.

There was something deeply wrong going on here when that just didn't feel as important as everything going on right now. Oh no, it hadn't been a freak accident at all, this was even better! Another reason to kill Umbridge when they had an overwhelming amount of those!

Harry gasped in surprise that had been her!

Umbridge agreed with a heavy breath, her wand finally pointing directly at his forehead as she stated she'd been the only one to try and do something about silencing him.

"Gold star! I'm sure Fudge would have somehow given you another promotion if he'd found out-" Sirius rasped out, but it was getting harder every second to say any single thing...

The curse was on the tip of her tongue when Hermione shouted out in anguish they'd tell, there was no point not to!

Remus was convinced right then he'd lost his mind. There was just no way Hermione would ever cave to this! Of everything she was, coward had never been one at the top of the list. Then he really considered the situation...and he almost pitied her in understanding. If, if she really couldn't bare to see Harry being tortured, would she really give up everything? Sirius, the Order, all to stop that happening to Harry? Would any of them really do differently?

Hermione began to cry weakly into the back of Millicent Bulstrode's robes.

Lily was damn near close to sobbing again as well. She couldn't stand it, listening to Harry go through that again, the first time had been the worst moment of her life and now she couldn't even look back on that with the knowledge she'd swoop in and save her son again. Hermione had though, and she'd never wanted to hug someone more in her life for being there for her son.

Millicent jumped away in disgust. Her friends tried to stop her, but Hermione pushed her hands to her face and sobbed harder. As Harry watched though, he could not spot a tear.

"You can dry sob of course. It's really an emotion that just pours out, tears aren't always a factor-" James was babbling, more out of shame than anything for everything he'd called her. Of course Hermione cared, even if it wasn't for Sirius like she had no right to. She was putting herself in terrible danger and trouble and all sorts of things just to defend Harry though, and he wanted to apologize endlessly for everything he'd called her these past days for always really being there when they needed her most for Harry.

Lily had patted his cheek in sympathy to get him to stop, and though one very tiny knot inside of Harry felt the first wriggle of relief his family didn't seem to despise the closest thing he had to a sister anymore, it still wasn't enough to distract him from the guilt tearing up the rest of him from the inside.

She apologized, but she just couldn't stand it anymore!

Umbridge was back to that poisonously sweet nature as she soothed this was a good thing, asking her who had Potter been trying to contact?

Hermione said Dumbledore.

Lily moved so fast Harry didn't even realize the book was gone until he was just looking at his hands, and he glared furiously at her in protest.

"Harry, forcing yourself to read all this so fast is making you sick, now breath for a minute," she told him before turning to her wide eyed husband and confirming, "I heard that right, right?"

"Hermione lied," Remus agreed, his tongue felt swollen to twice its normal size in his mouth from having bitten it so hard before.

"This is a ruse," James whispered, burning through so many emotions lately he felt light headed from such a new, abrupt one that he still managed to lace back to Sirius. In all their panic of Umbridge wasting more time in getting to him, somehow Sirius was channeling his spirit into Hermione now.

Sirius burst out laughing. It was chaotic, maybe had one too many hiccups with stops and stuttering starts, but oh boy was he trying for that carefree tone to finally put light back into this again.

Harry watched him for a long time, as long as he was willing to try, because he never wanted this to end. To see Sirius grinning when the only thing filling his mind was that pain etched into his face from what Voldemort was doing to him. That must be why he was feeling so guilty, because Sirius was only there because of him, of that he was sure. It wasn't quite connecting though, and apparently he couldn't stay distracted no matter what Sirius did. He kindly reached back to his mother and took the book back, not to be delayed in anything, even the man himself, to understand what he'd done so wrong to lose this from his life.

The reaction from Harry's friends was telling, they all stopped their own attempts to get away to gaze at her, even Luna now looked mildly surprised.

"Now there's really saying something, considering she wasn't even following along with the real problem in the first place," Remus said mildly only to appease Sirius, as he'd been watching Harry worriedly he couldn't do anything to keep his pup from sinking lower into himself any moment. Sirius did give Moony a real smile, so it had been worth it as they all kept watching Harry berate himself with every word.

This was given no attention, thankfully, or Hermione's job could have been up.

"I mean, I think they still would have written them off as indignation Hermione was telling the truth," Sirius said with the first real breath of lively conversation he'd felt since Harry's vision.

"Lets just be happy they have no attention span, something I'm sure you can understand," Lily muttered without a touch of heat in her barb considering this was no more distracting to them than if Hickory had just come back in the room. This was just a parting fact, a side portion going on when they wouldn't deny they wanted to get right back to hearing of Sirius' rescue no matter how that happened.

Umbridge ate it right up, asking if it had worked?

Hermione said no, they'd still been trying at places like The Leaky Cauldron and the Hog's Head-

Umbridge called her an idiot, they wouldn't find him at places like that being so wanted by the Ministry.

"Why do I now feel like that's exactly what he'd be doing?" James said in exasperation.

"Certainly the Hogs Head, anybody could blend in there, and he wouldn't even be far from the school," Remus said with almost a touch of hope. Like a robed man with a masked face would walk in any minute and reveal himself to be Dumbledore with the perfect solution to get Sirius out of this.

Hermione wouldn't be stopped, clutching her face tighter as she wailed they had to tell him something important, with still absent tears behind the sobbing noises.

"I hope she tried poking herself in the eye, that'll manage something," Lily murmured in an honest attempt at helpful advice while all the boys paused to look at her for such a thing on her part and she only just managed an old sly grin and a remorseless shrug. "Yes, I've had to fake crying in my past a few times, that's not the point now."

James disagreed, he always wanted to know everything about her and he'd never heard this one, but the pressing matter of Sirius still weighed the most on him, and he took just the smallest amount of comfort he could ask her later and listen to Sirius laugh when she told the story, after...but right now it felt impossible to even think that far ahead.

Umbridge eagerly asked what was so important then, and Hermione said the weapon was done.

Umbridge looked ready to pop as she asked if this was a weapon constructed under Dumbledore's orders, something against the Ministry?

"Letting them answer themselves rather than making up your own excuses tends to work like a charm, how is Hermione such a pro at this?" Sirius said weakly, his still the most honest and genuine smile for this happening.

Hermione agreed, still faux crying they couldn't find him to tell him it was ready.

Umbridge at once said for her to be led to this weapon.

Remus still couldn't get over the fact, "is she making this up on the spot? Where could Hermione even lead her?"

"Room of Requirements?" Sirius offered as he thought wildly, though no place in the castle could have a trap set up quick enough to get them out of their hair.

"She already knows about that place, but she might not understand it's full capabilities, it could work," James agreed honestly just to shut them up. He didn't care if they just pushed Umbridge out the window to get rid of her, Harry needed to be back on his way. He'd get retribution later on Azkaban's newest cellmate for what she tried to do to Harry later.

Hermione peeked up from her fingers, her face now showing fear as she said she wasn't showing them while gesturing to the Inquisitorial Squad.

Umbridge at first wasn't impressed, saying she didn't set the terms here.

Hermione went on to sob back into her hands that was fine then, she hoped Umbridge showed the whole school so that anyone could learn about it.

"Nice," Sirius drew the word out for dramatic fashion, holding it as long as he could but not as long as he was capable as Remus smacked him to get him to stop, not denying his hand was still shaking hard the whole time.

Umbridge gave an uneasy look to her crew for the first time, and Malfoy wasn't quick enough to hide his eager smirk.

"Ha!" Sirius let out a bark of laughter that had even worked! He'd been congratulating Hermione on the attempt, he couldn't believe Umbridge had fallen for it!

Harry paused then, actually taking a shaking breath as he glanced to Sirius, his eyes still wild with panic he may never hear that again if ever this ended...but surely the world he'd come from wasn't so cruel as that. He'd find a way to save Sirius...right?

Umbridge agreed then, it would just be the two of them and Potter.

Malfoy tried to say someone should-

Umbridge stated coldly she could handle two wandless teenagers without help.

"I know she can't," Lily said at once without a trace of fear. Harry and Hermione individually would be a formidable force to that doily dolt, but the two together, even Harry not knowing Hermione's plan if even there was one, Umbridge wouldn't know what hit her anymore than them.

She grabbed Hermione by the arm, pointed Harry out the door first, and told the others to stay here and be watched before Hermione began leading the way.

Harry tried to turn the page quickly, to not let anyone see his chapter was over. He still couldn't put the bare of this onto anyone else, he had to know this for himself and just hope he could handle whatever the answer was without losing everyone he cared about, then and now.

HPHPHPHP

Gah, sorry I know the first half was probably cheesy as hell, it really dragged on me, but I really didn't want that giant space in between them all for the parts to come, and they weren't all going to fit on one couch. The worst part is, this isn't even the worst to come yet, so I hope you guys can bare with me through what is probably my worst mode, I always think my comfort comes off more cheesy than anything.

*Not something I really had a moment to think about in fic, but who was teaching Transfiguration during this time? Were classes just canceled, being the end of the year and all, and it was like previous DADA teachers gone so they just had those periods free? That's what I'm going with.

#The life that Never LIved #Harry Potter #fanfiction #reading the books #OotP #HP #Maraduers #Jilly #James Potter #Remus Lupin #Sirius black #Lily Potter

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setoangel01-fanfiction · 4 years

Text

Reunion - Chapter 2

Chapter 2 - The Journey (Previous Chapter)

Rated: T

Fandom: Final Fantasy 7 Remake

Pairing: Zack Fair x Aerith Gainsborough (Zerith)

Summary: Zack (and Cloud's) journey back to Aerith after the change of fate fight in the Midgar Wastes...

WARNING: Strong language, brutal violence and references to torture.

...

Fanfiction.net

A03

...

Zack Fair had no fucking clue how he was still alive.

There were literally thousands of Shin-Ra troopers ready and willing to end his life and Zack, doing the only thing he could to protect Cloud, fought them all until he was miraculously the last one standing. The ex-SOLDIER First-Class running on absolutely nothing but pure rage and adrenaline that was quickly depleting; if there had only been a few more troopers with decent aim, Zack doubted he'd still be breathing right now, let alone standing.

Heart hammering with leftover adrenaline, head throbbing, arms and hands shaking from where they'd held the Buster Sword in a white-knuckled grip (it was the only thing still keeping him vertical), Zack stood in shock while staring at the wasteland filled with bodies.

"Wait…was that all of them?"

One thing was for damn sure, Zack had never remembered being more exhausted in his entire life.

Living on the run while dragging around a comatose man for - hell, was it already over a year now? Caring for all of Cloud's many needs, the constant movement, lousy diet of whatever the fuck he could forage, catch and cook (burn) with a Fire Materia, bathing in treacherous icy rivers, no actual decent sleep when Shin-Ra is breathing down your neck and using everything in their disposal to try and catch your ass, and not to mention that sick fuck Hojo's twisted experiments and pickling in a tank of Mako for four years didn't help anyone either. Especially poor Cloud who was still suffering from Mako addiction, withdrawal and still stuck in a damn comatose-like state…

But this fight…

Zack was certain, as he ruffled Cloud's hair one last time before walking away, that this would be his last stand.

His final sacrifice in this damned world and it was all to protect Cloud.

Even if he had died, it would have been worth it. If he'd only saved Cloud, that was more heroic than anything he'd done in his entire life. He would have accepted death and gone to the Lifestream with a smile on his face as long as his buddy was safe ('we're friends, right?'). And if Cloud had run into Aerith later on to tell her "hi" for him, that would be good too...

Yet somehow, Zack was here still standing and drawing breath (albeit it, not very well which was probably quite worrying but Zack was trying not to think about that right now) considering he should have been nothing more than a bullet-ridden corpse.

How?

Why?

He couldn't tell you.

After he noticed that all of the seemingly endless troops were nothing more than bloodied bodies dotting the landscape and he was dragging his half-dead ass over to Cloud to make sure his buddy was okay, he was suddenly thrown to the ground.

So certain it was the final troopers or some goons in a helicopter coming to finish him off, Zack lifted his head. If he was to die, he'd go down facing his murderers but instead of more barrels of guns, he saw the strange clouds over Midgar disappear with a thundering boom and a flash of light. Upon realizing that he wasn't going to die, he somehow drug himself back to his feet and was even able to put the Buster Sword away. Face toward the sky, he watched the blinding light clear and what looked like flickering stars surrounding Midgar before disappearing into the bright blue above.

...The fuck was that?

Something had happened - what it was, he didn't know and really didn't care to find out until him and Cloud were safe under Midgar's steel-plated sky.

Regroup.

What Zack needed to do immediately was grab Cloud and leave.

Even if he'd managed to annihilate a fair bit of Shin-Ra's army, they definitely wouldn't give up that easily and Zack had gone too damn far to quit now. Shaking arms, wobbling knees, sore aching - well, fucking everything - and a headache that had him seeing spots in the edges of his vision was sure as hell not enough to keep him from stopping now.

Oh.

And Aerith.

Zack needed to get to Aerith if it was the last damn thing he ever did and almost dying didn't change that. With that destination in mind, the ex-SOLDIER continued towards where he'd stashed Cloud before he'd confronted the troopers.

"Hey Cloud, you see that?" Zack chuckled a bit breathlessly as he turned the corner to where the blonde was safely nestled in the cliff's dusty crevice. "That was pretty damn cool, right? Fuck yeah. I still got it."

Cloud of course didn't reply other than the slightest grunt as Zack heaved Cloud up to his feet - right before falling straight back onto his ass.

Ow! Fucking hell!

"Oops. Sorry Spike... Alright, let's try that again." Zack took a deep breath through his nose and out his mouth before he finally got Cloud and himself back to his feet.

A few more false starts trying to walk in a coordinated pattern later, Zack finally recovered some of his breath. As much as he despised the Mako in his body (SOLDIER is nothing but a den of monsters) and Hojo (damn that fucker to the deepest, darkest pits of hell after he has the most painful, prolonged death imaginable, preferably at his own hands), at least his recovery time was much better than it ever was even as a First-Class SOLDIER.

Before long, Zack had gotten Cloud's arm over his shoulders while steadily making it through the last leg of their journey toward Midgar, the outline of the city getting closer and closer by the minute. As they neared the city with the steel sky, the sun disappeared behind the clouds.

It started to rain and Zack smiled.

Sure, the ground may now be slippery as fuck but with the soothing, cooling droplets steadily washing away the death, blood and sweat that clung to him for too damn long, he couldn't find it in him to care.

"Almost there, Cloud. We're almost there..."

<><><><><>

After hours of nonstop walking, they sneaked into the city when the sun was nearly kissing the horizon line.

Zack never imagined it was possible, but seeing the broken down slums and filthy streets was a fucking damned beautiful sight for sore eyes.

"Wow. Who'da thunk I'd actually miss this hellhole? Damn, it's good to be back." Zack chuckled at Cloud's sudden grunt as they walked steadily through Sector 8 - only 3 more sectors to go til Aerith - when a voice rang out from behind them.

"Hey! You there! SOLDIER!"

Zack froze and turned to glance over his shoulder.

The sight of a familiar uniform, a single guard - an infantry man approaching - had Zack react instantly. The ex-SOLDIER First-Class was running on nothing but pure protective instinct as the man stopped a mere foot away and abruptly reached for Cloud's limp form and the world was silent other than the blood rushing in his ears.

"Whoa...Is he okay?" was the question that went unheard by the raven-haired SOLDIER.

Zack didn't even think.

Just struck with brutal precision.

No mercy - they weren't shown any - so why should he?

Mako-enhanced muscles reacted instantaneously, pulling the Buster Sword off his back and plunging the blade straight through the man's entire chest cavity and out of his back in the blink of an eye. The sound of fabric, flesh, organs and bone ripping apart around the massive sword was drowned out by the pounding of his pulse thumping in his ears and his desperate need to protect Cloud at any cost.

...But then reality hit.

Zack's eye twitched, adrenaline faded immediately and he was suddenly frozen as he watched the man standing on his own for only a split second once the sword was removed. There wasn't even a grunt or cry exiting his bloody lips before the only-moments-before-living-breathing-man was nothing more than a crumpled corpse lying in a pool of his own blood, viscera and organs spilling onto the dirty street. He didn't mean to disembowel him…

"...O-Oh, fuck…no, I-I didn't…I…" Zack whispered when he realized what he'd done and his veins filled with ice.

What had he DONE?

If they were discovered and re-captured because of his recklessness…

No…

"FUCK!" he growled before using his Materia to cremate the man's body before flinging the limp Cloud and the Buster Sword over his back and ran like the fires of hell were licking at his heels and tears he wasn't even aware he was crying trickled like rain down his face.

'I'm so sorry…' <><><><><>

Zack kept running and running and running until he collapsed in an alleyway in Sector 6. So close to Aerith… but what Zack had just done had ice pooling in his stomach and he was sprawled on his hands and knees completely paralyzed with nausea and anxiety.

For what reason, he really didn't know.

Zack had been killing since he entered SOLDIER at the ripe age of 15 - it was kill or be killed and while Zack didn't enjoy ending lives whatsoever, it was sometimes necessary (if killing could ever be justified).

Hell, Zack had literally killed thousands mere hours ago.

Blood spilled and bodies cooling before grotesquely bloating underneath the unrelenting sun in the Midgar wastes and he barely blinked an eye as he fled the violent scene with Cloud. Among those bodies may have been friends at some point, colleagues, and someone he shared lunch with in the cafeteria could have been among the troopers he'd just ruthlessly slaughtered. So fucking many parents, wives, sons and daughters getting the news their loved one wasn't coming home all because of him…

Zack knew they would have killed him too given the chance but self-defense seemed a shaky alibi. It didn't sit right at all so he had to keep reminding himself that he did it for Cloud - because he'd rather kill a thousand more than ever allow that insane Hojo to get his grimy hands on his best friend again.

Turning away from Cloud's murky eyes that had been staring at him (...was that concern?), Zack crawled away from the blonde, hunched over behind a pile of trash and retched. The burn of bile coating his tongue and throat on the way out (he couldn't even remember the last truly edible meal he'd had) until he was left gasping for air and spatting any remnant stomach acid onto the concrete below.

Heart hammering painfully and tears burning his eyes, Zack suddenly stood to unsteady legs and began frantically pacing in the alley.

The abrupt ache in his heaving chest as he was forcefully reminded of Cloud's unrelenting screams and heartbreaking cries in that damn lab as Zack was strapped down to a cold gurney and could do fucking nothing to help him. All his First-Class SOLDIER enhancements and strength meant absolutely fucking nothing as he was forced to witness Cloud's unbearable torture. Zack mindlessly grabbed at his wrists where the leather and metal burned, blistered and electrified his skin as he tried over and over and over to escape - to get Cloud OUT - there may not even be scars left behind on his wrists but Zack could still feel everything done to him.

Hojo gleefully torturing both of them day after day, month after month and year after fucking year... They were both dissected - autopsied like soulless bodies - except they were both alive and conscious without a dose of anesthesia during it. Zack brutally shuddered; the sensations of that sick fuck Hojo's bare hands moving around, digging, touching, prodding his trembling and pulsating organs as he laid there with his chest splayed open still had his entire body shake with nearly unbearable tremors. All the injections, the mind-numbing pain, but nothing compared to the helplessness he felt the entire time as Cloud deteriorated.

Specimen C and Specimen Z.

No real names - they weren't even human to Hojo and his team of demented fucks. Him and Cloud were mere playthings to a madman all under the guise of twisted science, and Shin-Ra fucking funded it. So seeing all those troopers spread over the hills, knowing damn well, if given the chance, were going to take him and Cloud back to that lab…

Zack had no choice.

So he killed and killed and killed ("Come and get it!") under the flimsy guise of honor and dreams…heh. Director Lazard was right - becoming a hero truly was unobtainable…

And now he just murdered a uniformed man in cold blood who may have only been trying to see if Cloud was okay…how many more would die by his hands before Shin-Ra just left them the fuck alone?

…Maybe he was a monster…

"...Z... Z-Z-Zack…" Cloud's barely audible voice broke through the agony gripping his heart.

Cloud.

Oh fuck, Cloud!

Zack immediately ran over to where he'd left the blonde slumped over near a filthy trash can.

"I-I'm here, Spike. I'm here," Zack soothed, running his gloved fingers through Cloud's Chocobo looking tufts and he flinched at the few knots he found there.

Zack started to sob when Cloud leaned into his touch. He quickly ripped his gloves off of him - clean from rainwater but he still saw all the fresh and dried blood staining them regardless. He took a calming breath and wiped his face on his forearm before he ran his now bare fingers gently, always gently, through Cloud's hair - one of the few things in life that comforted him.

"Fuckin' hell, buddy, you need a bath - and yes, don't give me that look! I got a nose too! I know I stink!" Zack chuckled brokenly, he smiled but it fell flat as Cloud didn't reply…per usual. But hearing his name in Cloud's soft voice was such a relief after nothing but his own voice and the demonic cackles of Dr. Hojo in his head for so damn long.

It was hope in its purest form and that's what Zack needed now.

Cloud needed him and fuck his own existential crisis, Cloud came first!

…And Aerith of course but that would have to wait til they at least got some new threads…and a bath.

Definitely a bath.

Shaking his head of the lingering thoughts and nightmares that would haunt him to his grave, Zack pulled himself and Cloud to his feet and kept moving forward.

<><><><><>

Zack wasn't proud of it, but stealing clothes off a clothesline was the least of his sins in the past 24 hours.

They had plenty of gil but after he killed that guard (which he refused to think about too hard), Zack was weary of going anywhere where more people were around in the fear of being recognized and reported. He jacked some clothes that were relatively his and Cloud's size off a wire and was sure to leave plenty of gil attached with the remaining clothespin before disappearing back into the shadows.

Realistically, Zack knew to remain unseen, he should ditch his Buster Sword along with his First-Class SOLDIER uniform, but regardless of instincts telling him otherwise, Zack refused to let go of it. It was all he had left of his mentor, Angeal and he would keep it with him til he could pass it on to someone else or he died first.

Either way, he was never going to leave it behind.

After he gave himself a quick wash from a clean-ish rain barrel he'd found behind some (closed for the night) commercial businesses, he dressed in more formfitting black jeans than he was used to and a v-neck gray sweater but beggars couldn't be choosers. For the final touch, he ripped the pauldrons off his SOLDIER belt and suspenders before putting the leather straps back on over his newly acquired top and put the Buster Sword back in its rightful place.

Himself situated, Zack washed Cloud down mechanically with a damp extra shirt before dressing him. The blue jeans were a bit too big for his thin hips but one of Zack's two belts did the trick. The shirt was a button-up that annoyed him to no end but once he was fully dressed and back in his old boots, Zack sat back on his heels and smiled at his blonde friend. Cloud looked at him, a small bit of lucid-ness in those bright blue eyes was very promising.

"Looking good there, Cloudy, even if you are getting a little too skinny!" Zack said brightly as he pulled the blonde to his feet, "Ya know, you're gonna love Aerith, she is one of the best cooks I know! So don't worry, buddy, a few weeks of her food and you'll be back to a healthy weight in no time! Heh. Ooh! By the way, did I tell you how I met her?" Zack didn't even wait for any semblance of a response (not that there'd be any) before happily relayed the story as they continued walking.

Zack had already talked Cloud's ears clean off about Aerith and told this particular story over a dozen times by now, but talking about her made her more real and for now, that's what he needed.

Five years.

It'd been five years since he seen her - three years longer than they'd even known each other. And to know that the whole time he'd been gone - she'd waited for him…well, up until her last…and final letter.

'What do you mean, final!?'

"Please wait for me just a little longer, Aerith…" he whispered under his breath as they finally made it into Sector 5. <><><><><>

There was the church.

Zack painfully swallowed back the sudden lump that clogged his throat.

It was exactly as he remembered.

Perhaps a bit more worn in the passage of time (five whole damn years…), but the same nonetheless.

The atmosphere of warmth, safety, home, and Aerith still lingered like the intoxicating scent of the flowers she grew and it was like experiencing that first bit of sunshine on his face after being trapped in Hojo's lab for over four years all over again.

It was just the boost he needed to walk the last block.

As he got closer to the building, a part of him questioned if she would even be here at this late hour. Not to mention if she even wanted to see him after all this time had passed without a single word…no letter, no phone call, and no visit like he'd promised over five years ago. As doubtful as he was that she would still be waiting for him, something kept pulling him toward her church, up the steps and in front of those massive double doors.

Zack kept Aerith waiting long enough, he wouldn't do it anymore.

Even if she wanted nothing to do with him and had moved on with someone new, he'd respect her wishes. It would utterly shatter whatever was left of his heart inside his chest considering all he had done and went through to come back to her but he loved her (and always would) and would want whatever made her happy even if it meant to continue to have him out of her life…

Besides, Zack wouldn't blame her.

He wasn't the same man that left her - couldn't even pretend to be the same happy-go-lucky teenager with stars in his eyes wanting nothing more than to be a hero.

For who was he now?

A monster wanting the undeserved love of an angel?

Why would she even want him anymore?

Disheartened, Zack felt his throat tighten and almost pulled away from the door and ran the other way…but he had to see her… even if it was only one more time, perhaps just long enough to say goodbye...

Taking another few deep breaths to prepare himself mentally, Zack made sure Cloud was secure with one arm before reaching for the handle.

"Welp. Here goes nothing… Wish me luck, Cloud," he muttered under his breath before he grabbed the metal handle and pushed open the doors. Damn, the doors even had the same loud creaking noise, he remembered with a smile, before he slowly inched his way inside. Cloud's sudden stumble over a plank of wood had Zack turning his attention to the blonde for only a moment until he steadied himself - but then he turned toward where her flower garden had been and Zack finally lifted his head.

And… there she was…

Everything in his entire world stopped upon seeing her standing there and it was as if those five years trapped between them dissipated into dust... Zack's chest felt so damn tight (probably from forgetting to breathe) as he furiously took in every single feature he'd missed so damn much - and…

Wow...

Aerith was more beautiful than he remembered.

Doe-like emerald eyes, auburn ringlets framing her gorgeous face and the softest lips he'd ever kissed...even all those years ago, she had already been the most gorgeous woman he ever met, but now… Heh. She definitely wasn't the 18 year old teenage girl he'd foolishly left but a 23 year old woman now and he'd never felt more love for anyone in his entire life than at this very moment. More than her physical beauty, it was her passion, kindness, compassion, and genuine love she had for those she cared about - and he hoped with every fiber in his being that she would forgive him... All the intense feelings he'd had for her that he had to bury and treasure to keep him sane these past five years of hell came flooding back like a damn typhoon pooling through his entire body.

He wasn't even sure how he was still standing.

Zack just prayed he wasn't too late but his tongue refused to budge to even mutter so much as her name as he watched her eyes widen upon finally recognizing him. His heart throbbed in anticipation and anxiety of what she would say or do - but it only lasted a split second before he was forced to watch her drop her - wait, was that a staff infused with Materia?

...Aerith had a weapon?

But before he could follow that train of thought, Zack let out a strangled gasp when he realized that being occupied with Cloud, he couldn't catch Aerith as she suddenly crumbled to her knees.

#zerith #ffvii #ffvii crisis core #ff7r #zack fair #aerith gainsborough #cloud strife #zack x aerith #zack cloud bromance #ff7 remake #these babies need their happy ending #torture #hojo is a sick fuck #but what else is new #zack is best brother to cloud #bros 4 life #ff7r fanfiction #fanfiction

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hesesols · 4 years

Text

The Devil's Advocate

Day 19 and 21 of Ichiruki month 2020

Summary: Demons are a pain in the neck. Exhibit A: The pint-sized she-demon Ichigo’s stuck with until further notice.

Rating: T

FF/ao3

His mouth is bone dry.

Summer heat renders the humidity inside the tiny studio apartment stifling. Heat and sweat cling onto him like a second skin and the stupid electric fan does nothing to ease it.

It's barely three in the morning when he trudges over to his fridge and parks himself in front of the open doors. The blast of cold air hits his heated body nicely. He almost moans.

Instinctively, he grabs the bottle of orange juice from the side and takes a swig from it- only… it's empty?

He growls, "Rukia, what did we say about leaving the empty OJ in the fridge?"

The culprit spares him a lazy smirk from her end of the couch, violet cat-eyes gleaming from the faint glow of the TV. She tilts her head just so as she sticks her tongue out at him.

"Oops!"

Ichigo wearily sighs and slams the door shut, mumbling something about free-loading she-demons. His life is hardly picture perfect to begin with anyway with his job at the Metropolitan Police as a homicide detective. Work hours are long, and his mornings usually start off with unsolicited gruesome crime scene photos and a diluted concoction of coffee-water that is nowhere nearly as strong as he needs it to be.

Since Rukia moved in though, things seem to have gone from bad to worse.

His neighbours think she's his live-in girlfriend- sweet, albeit a little strange at times. Ichigo snorts. They don't know half of it.

The midget isn't even human.

Underneath a heavy layer of glamour, are two spiral-shaped horns- the colour of it blending near seamless with her nest of glossy black hair and of course, a very noticeable fork-tipped tail, flicking from side to side as she giggles at his obvious annoyance at the OJ-less situation.

Filling his cup with lukewarm tap water instead, he trudges over and nudges at her to move. Wordlessly settling next to her, he then proceeds to ignore her indignant yelp as he splays his long legs on the couch, taking up much of her space.

She huffs and glares at him, which earns her a careless roll of his eyes.

"What are you watching?"

Squinting slightly from the brightness, he scoffs as he realizes that she's watching a Spanish telenovela. Though watching may be an understatement in this case, Rukia is obsessed with them to the point where she becomes a little too invested in the torrid love affairs of the fictional characters on screen. By virtue of her otherworldly origins, she understands every language known to man and speaks in tongues; Ichigo doesn't and thinks it's a feat that he catches the names of the characters in passing.

He grabs the remote control, surprised when she viciously slaps his hand away and hisses, "Change the channel and I guarantee you won't live long enough to see the next dawn."

"I'd like to see you try."

Ichigo snorts and does it anyway. It's hard to take her seriously even with the whole glowing eyes business when she is so tiny that she barely comes to his shoulder.

As a demon, Rukia is surprisingly low maintenance- the most outrageous of her demands since she has gotten herself suspended in limbo in their plane of existence was for him to take her to a bunny café. That being said, she does however take her soaps and TV shows very seriously which explains her aggressiveness as she launches herself at him, her touch burning hot on naked skin as she grapples for the device.

"Give it back!"

Ichigo stretches, holding it in one hand just shy of her reach, taunting her.

"Why don't you make me, midget?"

Growling, she takes him up on his challenge. Violet eyes ablaze as she clambers over him on all four, chewing at her lower lip from the effort. It shouldn't even be possible Ichigo thinks, for demons to be this cute- ahem-fixated with earthly distractions but the press of her lithe body feels warm against him, deluding him into thinking for a second, that Rukia isn't some supernatural being from the nether realms powerful enough to send him flying with a snap of her fingers.

Sometimes, he feels she almost forgets about her inhuman advantages- on purpose. The puff of warm exhale from her makes his hair stand, the sight of her face so close to his jerks his thoughts away from his nonsensical musings. Her shirt hikes up and the collar that is way too loose on her easily falls off her shoulder, showing skin.

He bites the inside of his cheek. She needs to stop prancing around in his shirts.

She has her own clothes to wear. He bought her a full array of sundresses, pants, shirts and skirts. Ichigo thinks it's compulsion that makes her raid his closet and steal his clothes. It wouldn't have been quite so ridiculous if she wasn't so petite, making his worn-in T-shirts look more like dresses with the hem cut conspicuously shorter than normal on her thighs.

Ichigo looks away and takes a quick gulp of water. The heat is doing things to him.

He's not checking her out.

He swears. Honest to God.

He's not suicidal. He wouldn't put it above Rukia to claw his eyes out or alternatively damn him to the deepest pits of purgatories if she found out about him sneaking glances at her.

"Here!"

Ichigo throws the remote back at her, standing up abruptly without sparing her another glance. His skin feels warm- much warmer than it has any business of being under a demon's touch and his mouth dry. No touch of water will ever begin to quench this thirst and tame his racing heart but he is human enough to still try to run from the implications.

It's too hot to think. He grabs his keys and wallet.

"I'm heading out."

Rukia's voice rings up from the couch- cool, unaffected as always. Ichigo hates her a little for it, almost.

"This time of the day? Where are you going?"

"To get some OJ from the corner shop since someone finished it and couldn't even be bothered enough to replace it."

Her grin is impish, not a shred of remorse from her as she sighs and kicks back, reclaiming her sovereignty over the couch.

"Oh, could you grab some ice-cream while you're at it? I think we're all out too."

He grimaces, halts his process of shrugging on a shirt to yell back, "They're full of sugary crap. Too much of it and you're going to rot your teeth!"

Just before he sets foot outside though, he grumbles.

"What flavour do you want?"

The grin she flashes at him is annoying and indolent with her spread out on the couch, like a cat in the sun, pleased with her unchallenged access to her favourite soap and him running errands on her behalf.

The satisfaction practically purrs from her as she smirks and says, "Strawberries and cream."

His cheeks burn and he tells himself that he's too nice for his own good, staunchly refusing to even consider the possibility that she's got him wrapped around her pretty little fingers.

The streets of his neighbourhood are mostly deserted in the wee hours before dawn and the scarcity of people makes the air somewhat bearable despite the heat. He walks home in the dark, his groceries in a plastic bag hanging limply by his side.

Ichigo sighs. It's a horrible thing to be distracted by thoughts and downright disgraceful that it has taken him this long to realize that he's being followed.

He turns the next corner sharply and as expected, the heavy footsteps, the crunch against the gravel of the pavement follows. He hides behind the decrepit wall, bidding his time until the sound creeps close enough for him to make out the shadow of a hunkering man.

Now!

He leaps out from the shadow, swinging the heavily-laden bag like a weapon at his attacker.

The stranger decked from head to toe in black falters from the surprise attack. He is forced to take another step back as the weight hits him dead centre- quickly followed by a punch from Ichigo, letting out a pained groan as his world spins.

"Who sent y- the fuck!—"

The hood of his attacker slips off and Ichigo is more than a little shocked by the ghastly appearance of the creature underneath it. Whatever this thing is- it's not human. Yellow teeth- drool dripping from the corners of the gaping mouth and sunken cheeks make up the most sinister-looking skull-face he has ever seen. The thing's unfocused milky white eyes sharpened at him.

The creature throws itself at him, snarling with claws drawn out and aimed at his jugular.

Forced on the defensive, Ichigo doesn't hesitate. Instincts and years of experience have him throwing the bag of grocery at the ghoul as a distraction to buy him time. He takes off down the street in the opposite direction without looking back.

The bag rips, predictably; the contents of it spilling into the empty streets but it barely slows the creature down.

Outrunning him by a good minute, the creature lunges at him from his blind spot which he clumsily dodges. His back meets the wall of the alleyway, chipping off old paint and the uneven edges bite into his skin through his flimsy cotton shirt, drawing blood. He hisses in pain but there's barely even time to register it as the ghoul lunges again.

The strong jaw of the creature crushes the pieces of garbage Ichigo throws at it, rendering them into splinters. Its movements and attacks unrelenting and aimed to kill.

Weaponless as opposed to the creature's deadly bite and claws, Ichigo has neither the speed nor the agility to fully dodge the frenzied attacks. The odds are stacked against him and with every swipe and snarl; Ichigo feels his chances of survival dwindling.

He is crawling backwards on all four, back against the wall when his hand closes on a steel bar. He thanks the stars and whatever higher power there may be but knows that he is not out of the woods yet.

Grim determination sets in as his eyes harden.

He only gets one chance- one chance to get this right or he's dead and done for.

The ghoul rears up for its attack and Ichigo readies himself.

Mid-launch, the steel bar spears through the creature's twisted body. It gives a strangled cry, black blood oozing and dripping onto the pavement, over Ichigo's battered and bruised body. But Ichigo refuses to let go. He pushes it in deeper until he can hear the snap of muscles and soft tissues, and sees the metal protruding from the other side of the dead monster.

The ghoul flops over dead. Its weight settles on top of Ichigo and he eagerly hoists it off, eager to put some distance between them. The damn thing smells worse than the open sewage and rotten corpses.

Above him, there is an ominous roll of thunder and flashes of lightning that streak through the dark skies. Ichigo picks himself up wearily. He has no intention of being caught in the downpour.

Sharp pain shoots from his side as he hobbles. His hand comes up red and in disbelief, his eyes flit to the wound on his side, cut deep and the shred of cotton or what remains of his tattered shirt is soaked in the bloom of scarlet. The drip—drop of blood follows the pull of gravity, pattering onto the hot pavement.

He's been stabbed, he realizes belatedly and curses, that was his favourite shirt too.

Adrenaline fades and his legs give way from the blood loss.

A drop of something cool slides down his cheek before the torrent of rain follows, drenching him as he lays helpless on the deserted street, too weak to even yell for help.

He heaves a shaky breath, trying to make himself comfortable. The ache of the pain somehow dulling as the rain blurs his vision.

Cliché but he swears he sees his life flashing before him. And at the forefront of his strange musings and equally bizarre life cut short before his time, he remembers his first meeting with Rukia.

There's nothing quite like satanic cults and human sacrifices to brighten up the prospects of the day.

Ichigo grimaced, looking at the crime scene photos with a deep frown as he sipped at his coffee. He should have never taken up Ishida on his offer.

This case had all the makings of a ritual killing. Missing child, dead parent cut open with palms splayed, gruesome markings etched- he scowled; it reminded him too much of his own loss.

A tip-off from Anonymous led him to an abandoned warehouse not too far away from the Docks, the scene of the first murder.

"Don't do anything stupid," Ishida had cautioned him against it, "It's just another prank call. I sent a team out to canvas that area hours ago. There's nothing in that warehouse."

But Ichigo wasn't convinced. Gut instincts screamed at him to take a closer look at it but he also wasn't about to pick a fight when they should be focusing the bulk of their resources and time into finding the missing girl. The first 48 hours are crucial.

He's tough and packing. That made the second part of his decision a no-brainer as he slinked in past the locked gates and rusted metal fences— alone.

What he found inside the warehouse though was enough to make him balk.

"Nothing to report, my ass," he mumbled, carefully avoiding the pile of animal bones strewn along the doorway. He thought he heard the scurrying of rats and other critters as he made his way in deeper, unable to shake off the feeling of being watched.

There's something else in here. He could feel it in his bones.

He drew his weapon as he wandered into a room with what seemed to be a laid altar with offerings of dead flowers and questionable animal remains.

Heavy clouds of sulphur and incense filled the air, making his eyes water. In the centre of the room, was a circle, curious glyphs and runes drawn in red that he strongly suspected to be blood, candles with half-burnt ends flickering.

There's a pull at him towards the circle. He didn't resist it. The minute he crossed the threshold though, the candles were snuffed out and a blinding white light enveloped him. A strange ringing echoed through the room.

When his vision cleared, there was a girl with two horns and a tail standing in front of him, violet eyes searing into his as she bowed somewhat mockingly.

"Took you long enough. I was beginning to think that I'll waste away here for another week before someone shows up."

He stared, slack-jawed at her nudity or rather her lack of shame at her own state of undress.

She was unimpressed. Tapping her foot impatiently, she looked at him and said, "Well don't just stand there and gape. State the terms of your contract and we'll see if something can be arranged."

"Ichigo!"

The memory fades. The same pair of violet eyes are now boring deep into his.

"Rukia," he breathes. Talking is hard but he tries anyway. If it's to be his dying words, let them at least have meaning. Rukia- her existence and the events leading to her presence in his life are the only things that have ever made sense in a world said to have been created by an all-loving God and yet so full of injustice and hate.

"Stop talking! Damn it!"

He thinks she's smarter than that. He's lost too much blood now to ever come back whole. He is beyond saving at this point.

There's a light somewhere guiding him on. Maybe he'll see his mom after this; will she be proud of him- of what he's done with his life?

"I won't let you die."

There's a strange shimmering in the air. The shaft of light shining down on him is suddenly blotted out and he is falling-

Falling-

He slams back into his body and chokes.

The pain is a hundred times sharper and a million times more jarring than he remembers. Brown eyes snap open just in time to see Rukia's kneeling body enshrouded in a silver ashy glow of light; her hand plunged deep into his chest.

The rain plasters her hair to her face; her eyes an unholy combination of black sclera and violet irises. She growls from the effort as her fingers tirelessly trace rune after rune across his broken body. The burnished ring of gold on his chest glows and hums with each and every character added.

Ichigo can only watch on in stunned silence as a cascade of something iridescent is siphoned from her and pulled into him. He thinks he hears singing, sweeter than the song of a nightingale and so beautiful that he thinks he just might cry from it.

She grits her teeth.

"Do you trust me?"

He nods.

She presses her lips to his. He surges forward to meet her and tastes the saltiness of her tears, mingled with that of the rain. There's a cut on her lip from where she had been biting too hard and the taste of it- like honey, decadent and syrupy, lingers on his palate.

The pain- or rather the absence of it grows and he feels something being anchored into place.

His heart.

Her heart.

There's something between them that is beyond words and whatever she's done, Ichigo knows it's life-changing for the both of them. He knows somehow, staring at the identical marks of a glowing glyph on the back of their palm.

They're bonded.

But even the very word seems inadequate to express this shimmer between them. There's a sliver of her- something inhuman— nay, a dark voice whispers, better than human— within him and it makes the world incomprehensibly sharper in his eyes, the taste of the summer air sweet on his tongue and the warmth of her skin so achingly perfect against his own as he holds her.

Pink flesh peeks through his tattered shirt. He is once again healed, whole, rendered into something new in her presence.

"So," he licks his dry lips, "did Hector ever managed to tell Maria that he loves her?"

"You idiot!"

She is shaking her head, calling him names for his recklessness. At length, she stops, and heaving a sigh of deep relief, grins at him, canines showing.

"Welcome back to the world of living, Master."

FF/ao3

The 'I-accidentally-summoned-a-cute-demon-and-now-I-think-I'm-in-too-deep-to-let-her-go' AU

Also detective! Ichigo who solves crime with some help from the occult world- courtesy of his soulmate/familiar/contract partner demon! Rukia.

As always, review, like, reblog, comment or send me an ask to share random thoughts.

#ichiruki #ichirukimonth #irmonth2020 #Day 19: all my demons have your smile #day 21: supernatural #supernatural AU #fanfic #mine #the devil's advocate

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inspired-by-the-music · 4 years

Text

For You: 4 O’Clock

Taglist: @jineunwootrash @jamies-kpop-reactions

Chapter 15: Our Story

The mere seconds that Mom spent staring at me and Taemin, slackjawed in the doorway, might as well have lasted forever.

I think we wouldn't have looked half as guilty if we hadn't flinched lightyears apart from each other at her gasp, but it was our instinct to run and hide. As it turns out, we didn't melt or fade in the light of discovery, but we certainly did burn.

"Oops!" Mom almost giggled as she tiptoed back into the hallway and closed the door with a soft click. Like she had done something wrong, she apologized. "I'm sorry! Lei, I just came to tell you that dinner is ready. Come down whenever you get hungry!"

Before I could speak even in a timid squeak of a voice, I heard Mom's footsteps retreat down the stairs. Because tense silence had fallen over my room, I heard Donghae ask, "Where's Lei? Is she okay?"

And I heard Heechul say, "She's not curled up in bed with her radio crying her eyes out to SHINee again, is she? I thought we were past that phase!"

I went red in the face because I had certainly grown a bit past that phase, but only because I had Taemin— the real-life person— to curl up with. Thinking only that Taemin was a million times more comforting than any CD had ever been-- and that's really saying something since you know well that music was my best friend before Lucas— I glanced at him.

From the foot of the bed where he had tucked himself into a humiliated ball, Taemin sprang to his feet and started pacing around in the dark.

"Oh my God," he wheezed, nearly tripping over his shoes. "She caught us. Your mother— my manager— caught me in your room. She caught us kissing. She caught us kissing in your room. She caught me kissing you on your bed in your room. She caught me whispering into your mouth that I love you on your bed in the dark in your room."

I had been flustered before Taemin became a human embodiment of anxiety. A fact about me: I strive for balance in almost every situation. If somebody (take Lucas for example) is bouncing off the walls, I will sit perfectly still. If somebody is frowning, I am trying to make them smile, even if it's the briefest, dimmest sort of smile. If somebody (like Taemin was that night) is in a panic, I am level-headed.

So when Taemin tugged at his hair, whining, "She's going to kill me. And if she doesn't kill me, she'll make me break up with you, and then that's gonna kill me. Shit, shit, shit."

"She is not going to kill you," I said confidently because I knew Mom like the back of my hand. Granted, I didn't know every detail of her life before me, but I knew her well enough to know that she wasn't angry. Mom never apologizes when she isn't sorry. She never apologizes when she's mad.

I was kind of joking when I said, "If she wanted to kill you, she would have sent Heechul and Donghae flying up the stairs, and—”

"Shit!" Taemin hissed. Profanities didn't suit him. "Super Junior is going to kill me!"

Slightly wavering in confidence, I assured him, "No, they're not. Mom isn't going to say anything to Super Junior."

Besides, I rationalized to myself, Yesung, who would have posed the biggest threat to Taemin's life, already knew that we were together. If Yesung didn't kill Taemin at the Christmas party, I figured that we were in the clear.

If Taemin hadn't been pacing so quickly, I might have tried to catch him in my arms to kiss his worries away as he had done for me. Given that kissing had led to this tension, though, he might not have appreciated the affection. Maybe it's a good thing that I didn't try to kiss him.

Taemin collapsed onto the edge of the bed and buried his face into his hands. When moments passed in silence, I took the chance to say, "She won't make us break up either, Taem. She just-- she was probably just shocked because she didn't know you were here. On top of that, she has always thought that Lucas and I are a thing, so—”

Into his palms, Taemin groaned, "She probably thinks you're cheating on Lucas with me or something! That makes everything a billion times worse!"

"It's more likely that she just realized that Lucas and I were never together. I mean, I've told her often enough that the message was bound to sink in sooner or later." After pulling Taemin's hands away from his face, I laced our fingers together. I gave both hands a gentle squeeze. "I get that this isn't how we wanted Mom to find out about us, but she had to find out somehow."

To tell you the truth, I was relieved that she found out in this private aspect of life and not through a tabloid expose.

"I know that you wanted to keep this-- us-- a secret so we could be roommates on tour, but we couldn't hide in the dark forever."

And to tell you the truth, I didn't want to. I wasn't eager to pen some press release or anything, but I think I was outgrowing that compulsion, that dependence on secrecy and shadows; they didn't comfort me anymore.

From everything that happened over those past few months, I learned that secrets are damning. At least in my own home, I wanted to live openly and honestly. Maybe Mom's unexpected discovery made that possible.

Stunned by my lack of humiliation, slackjawed because, for the first time, Taemin was embarrassed while I was not, I realized out loud, "I think— I think I'm glad that she found out." Drawing a deep breath, the kind that makes you realize that you've been holding your breath for far too long, I admitted, "I think— I think I've wanted her to know for a long time. Maybe forever."

Silence ensued as Taemin breathed heavily. Deeply. Inhale, count to ten. Exhale, count to ten.

My mouth opened, probably to explain that I nearly told Mom all about us on the drive to Grandma's house on my debut anniversary, but Taemin's stare took my voice away. He blinked at me. The spark in his eyes made me think that he wanted to smile at me. In hindsight, I guess he didn't. Taemin always smiled whenever he wanted to smile, and he didn't offer me the smallest grin for the rest of the night.

"I have to go," he breathed before stepping into his shoes.

That deep breath I had just drawn passed through my lips all at once. I said the wrong thing. There is nothing worse than when the truth— the full and absolute truth that rings in the deepest part of your heart— is the wrong thing to say. How can anyone regret telling the truth? How can anybody want to snatch the truth out of the air once it has been released?

"O-okay."

My stutter did not pass unnoticed despite my efforts to hide it with a smile. Taemin sat back by my side, took my face into his warm hands, and pecked at my lips. The kiss was over before I even realized it was happening.

"I love you, baby," Taemin promised. I swooned less at the affirmation of what I already knew and more at the variation of his name for me. He tucked some hair behind my ear. "Go down to dinner, and I'll talk to you later."

Rising to my feet in time with him, I said, "I love you too. Forever, Taemin."

Because I didn't want to watch him scramble out of the window, because I was at great risk of begging him to stay for dinner with Mom and Donghae and Heechul and Lucas— my family— to once and for all drag our remaining secrets into the light, I walked away. From the vanity, I grabbed the old photograph that I had yet to return to Donghae. I don't think I closed the door behind me on my way out of the room.

I tiptoed down the stairs, quietly hoping that Taemin would follow. Or maybe I was hoping that I would return from dinner to find him waiting on my bed with open arms. In the end, I was disappointed, but I didn't feel like a fool for daring to hope.

. . .

It turned out that Lucas's description of the rivalry between Donghae and Heechul was not all that dramatized.

Sandwiched between the two men at the dining room table, Mom looked nothing like the fairytale queen I imagined she would become in her happy ending. The squabbling must have gotten under her skin, etched those lines into her forehead, weighed down on the corners of her lips, and sharpened the glare she hurled at Heechul for a (probably offensive) comment that I hadn't heard over my thoughts as I reached the foot of the stairs.

"Lei!" Lucas cheered, pumping two fists into the air, because he was no longer alone with the adults. "Where've ya been?"

I couldn't narrow or roll my eyes at Lucas. He had no way to know that I had been kissing Taemin all day. He didn't have any clue that Mom just walked in on the most intimate moment of my life.

Blushing slightly under everybody's stare— smiling only because Moms smiled first and reminded me that everything was okay— I hummed, "I was just counting the stars."

As I sat in the seat next to Lucas and across from Donghae, I sat the picture frame onto the table. I met Donghae's gentle gaze and nodded. "I believe this belongs to you."

"I believe it does!" Donghae beamed and took the photograph into his hands. "Is this a new frame?" He asked as his thumb traced along the infinity symbol.

"Yep!" I omitted the fact that I had broken the original frame on that night I peeled his poster off the wall. "I— I hope you like it." I would have bashfully dropped my gaze onto the table if Donghae were the kind of person anyone could look away from. He looks right through the soul, you know, and I was finally comfortable with that.

While he untied one of the white threads around his wrist, Donghae swore, "I love it, Lei!" He motioned for me to hold out my wrist.

I watched, smiling, as Donghae knotted the infinity bracelet for me. All I could think about was my ribbon around Taemin's wrist. All I could think was that Donghae's thread bracelet was a ribbon too. We were tied together. Soulmates. Forever.

Then, my eyes were drawn to his red thread ribbon. Mom wore-- wears— one identical to that. They were tied together too. Soulmates. Forever.

So don't fault me for disagreeing with Taemin's belief that everything was falling apart with Mom's discovery of our kiss. It was clear for anybody to see (if they knew where to look) that happiness wasn't contingent upon the idea that everything will be okay. Everything was okay. Everything is okay. Happiness had arrived.

Except it wasn't happiness. The warmth spreading through my chest and painting life-- which had gone from dull shades of gray to pale hues with Lucas to sporadic brilliant bursts of color in the night with Taemin— was named joy. I read once that joy is forever, and I believed it then, and I believe it still. So, for the first time in a long time, as I looked at Donghae and Donghae looked back at me, I was not afraid for the sun to rise. I was not anxious because the sun had risen.

"It's not fair!" Heechul shrieked, pounding his fists on the table. "I practically live here, and the girl still favors Donghae!" Staring at me so intently that I thought his eyes might pop out of his head, Heechul demanded, "How come we never exchange gifts at the table, huh? I've been crashing on that couch for however many years, and you've never given me so much as a high-five!"

I raised my hands in total sincere surrender. "Look, I'm not picking favorites. I love you both. And if you start getting annoying and demanding me to pick favorites-- well-- let's not get into this again."

Donghae pouted into his glass of water. "You mean Yesung is still your favorite?"

And Heechul groaned at the ceiling, "Why am I not surprised?"

And Lucas chirped, "You gotta love Lei's unfailing loyalty!"

As I started forking through my dinner-- a salad because a.) my mouth was entirely too sensitive to the spicy noodles everyone else could slurp without watering in the eyes, and b.) I was trying yet another diet-- Mom caught my eye. She was watching me, smiling knowingly, determined to see me blush.

Uninterested in attracting any of the boys' attention, I subtly raised my eyebrows, trusting that Mom wouldn't say anything to expose my intimate information.

"You're not busy tomorrow are you?" I swear, she winked at me and I almost choked. "I was hoping that you could meet with me tomorrow. Nothing too serious, just a quick check-in on that project you've been working on."

Obviously, there was no project. Mom was just trying to tease me a bit and ensure that I made time to tell her about the events that led to the kiss that took our breath away.

Donghae and Heechul didn't know any of that, though, and they started pestering me about the project— "Is it a new song?" Heechul asked, and Donghae guessed, "Is the agency letting you write a ballad?"— while Lucas watched me through eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Would you two hush?" Mom hissed at Donghae and Heechul. "Just let Lei keep her secrets for now!"

Mom and I laughed together and the others looked at us like we were crazy. That's okay, though. I didn't mind their stares. I was too happy that Mom saw me; I was too happy that there would be no more secrets between us come tomorrow morning. If I had it my way, I decided, there would never be another secret between us for the rest of our lives.

"I always have time for you," I told her through a grin. "Just name the hour, and I'll drop everything for you."

I had until 9 o'clock in the morning to decide what I wanted to tell Mom. Once I walked into my bedroom, I flipped on the overhead light, nabbed an empty moleskine notebook from the bookshelf, and sat at the desk I hadn't used since the long past poetry-writing days. Having grown significantly since then, I had to pull that little lever that lowers the rolling office chair.

Several of the pens that I dug out of the top drawer had gone dry, but I finally found one-- a dark almost-black blue-- that worked. I used it to map out the constellations, everything that happened before the kiss. Debuting with SuperM, giving Taemin my ribbon, the first game of Truth or Dare, crying that night in the garden, falling asleep with Taemin every night in America, the NCT Dream VLive incident, the Great Come Apart in Grandma's dining room, the roller coaster that was the Christmas party, visiting the wishing fountain where Baekhyun gave me a flower crown, kissing Taemin throughout New Year's Night and into New Year's Day.

I poured all of myself into that story, this story. On these pages, you can find me: my fears, my dreams, my hopes. I hope you love me as much as I love you. I know you do, Mom. I know you do.

By the time I lay me down to sleep, it is 4 O'Clock in the morning. Now, I wait for the sun to rise so I can share everything.

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neighborhoodmoonchild · 4 years

Text

ᾰ̓γᾰ́πη - Pt. III

Pairing(s): Cursed!Seokjin x Reader

Genre(s): Fantasy Au, Fluff, Soulmate Au, Angst

Summary: “There’s a story whispered around here. One surrounding the beautifully carved statue of a man at the center of the town. Legend says that when the hand of his true love graces his palm, he shall wake from his cursed marbled slumber. It’s always been a silly old wives tale, until you give in to a friend’s dare.” (prompt idea from writing-prompt-s)

Warning(s): mild language

Word Count: 3.7k (oops)

Part I, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, …

taglist: @best-space-boy @maryelixabeth @mochimaw @yeontanismypresident @hannahantonette17 @ign-is @fanfuckingfic @koala-wonderland @suchgayaesthetic @dulcaet @anoynmoustumbler @annoyingpessimist

~ if you want to be added to the tag list for this fic, feel free to send me an ask! thank you💜

“It’s also a pleasure to finally see you again, Althaia,” Seokjin adds after a not at all awkward pause while Mira swiftly prepared an herbal tea meant to relax her noticeably uncomfortable guests. Looking over the rim of your cup as you took a long sip, your eyes darted from the man now sitting at the table across from you to the woman seated to your right.

He was watching her intently as she swirled her spoon around her cup, lightly agitating the liquid to blend the honey she always added. She once told you she’s not one for bitterness, and because she could never find the perfect blend sweet enough on its own, honey would have to suffice.

A long, dramatic sigh accompanied her look of disinterest.

“I’m quite surprised, though you don’t seem to be.” Again, your gaze flitted between the two, unsure of what to make of the situation. Mira didn’t seem bothered at all, almost as if this whole thing was something she expected, or at least, knew might be coming.

Why was she not correcting him? Insisting he must be mistaken; her name is Mira, not...not Althaia or whatever he said. And how could he insinuate he knows her in any way? He’s been a statue since before you were even born and Mira is only a few years older than you.

Mira had remained quiet, content as Seokjin waited for any kind of response. It would make more sense if she had outright denied his accusations, shut him down and insist a mistake had been made. Instead, she slowly moved her attention from her earlier ministrations, softly gazing upon you for a brief moment, then turning to him.

“I honestly didn’t think you’d remember me after all this time, let alone be able to recognize me, Mr. Kim.” Her voice was low and calm, calculated as she mulled over just how to address the situation to come. Something about the tone of her voice didn’t sit right with you. This was no longer the slightly agitating neighbor you’d grown fond of.

This person next to you was entirely different.

In the deepest part of her being, Mira knew it from the moment she met you that things were finally changing.

“What do you mean ‘remember?’” you piped up over the silent stare down the two had unconsciously engaged in. At an utter loss, your mind had taken the small bits of information provided to try and come to some sort of viable conclusion, but to no avail. Perhaps your mind was still processing your own dilemma, and you couldn’t afford to lend any brain power to this situation, or maybe it was just too far-fetched to even fathom.

Now, the two stared at you as if you were some poor, pathetic creature or a doll made of porcelain. Pitiful was one way to put it and it made your insides clench and churn, the situation all too reminiscent of a lamb about to be sacrificed to the slaughter. Eerie how suddenly you were the only one without a clue and it didn’t help that it now felt as if you were seated next to two strangers and not just one.

After the two continued in an annoyingly cryptic battle of stares, almost prodding the other to speak first, you decide the time for silence and secrets is officially over. Slapping two hands on the oak table as you shoot from your seat, the crack of skin on wood makes them fully focus on you. Not even bothering to look either one in the face, you let out a hefty sigh and close your eyes, mind suddenly battling an intensely growing migraine.

“Look, I don’t know whatever ‘this’,” hands waving between the two of them, “is, but I’m tired and done. With everything. Feel free to settle this on your own, I’m going home.”

Before you could even make it 5 steps from your seat, the slightly ajar front door slams shut...on its own. Like a lone wind had decided to fiercely bound though the opening, or more fittingly, a spirit decided to trap you inside.

“The hell was that?” You mumbled to yourself as you cautiously approached the door, afraid it may come suddenly to life, considering the day you’d had.

As your hand curled around the cool metal knob, you heard someone rise from their seat, “Wait, Y/N, just stay and let...let me explain.”

Swiveling your head around enough to see Mira standing firmly by her chair, a scared expression on her face, the atmosphere shifted. It set you off, igniting a sense of, you’re not sure, maybe fear, within you. Something wasn’t right. Nothing about this whole situation felt right.

“I can’t do this. I don’t know what’s going on, but it doesn’t feel right. I can’t be here...with you.” You weren’t sure what exactly was triggering this flight response within you. Not once in your time knowing her had Mira ever done anything for you to react this way towards her, but today, with her pushing you to touch the statue, to the odd sense of familiarity between Seokjin and her, to the strange aura suddenly radiating off her, it was all too much.

Your senses were overloading. Too much had transpired and you’d not been given enough time to properly digest anything. Going from a relatively boring life to one suddenly plagued by some kind of weird magic, sorcery, whatever it was, in the span of a few hours is too much.

The migraine you’d been fighting was on the cusp of becoming a full fledged breakdown.

Ignoring the protests of the two behind you, again your body moved towards the door, handle turning a fraction of an inch before everything stopped.

Seconds, maybe minutes you stared at the slab of wood. Not a muscle moved, like your entire body was paralyzed, only slow shallow breaths could escape the numb confines of your lips. As if you no longer controlled the only vessel with which you solely could. You were a marionette, controlled by invisible strings.

And then all at once, a warm tingly feeling seeped through your veins, bringing with it the sweet taste of freedom. Nerves alight, muscles contracting, you finally had your body back.

But with this came the intense fear of the whole situation. Every other thought within you was gone, mind shut down, body going into lockdown mode, syphoning your remaining energy into getting away.

Away from whatever this strange new danger was.

Slowly, cautiously, prey reacting to predator, you turned your body back to the table.

It hurt. Hurt to look at them. To look at her.

At first, a part of your mind jumped straight to blaming the newcomer, but deep in your soul, you knew.

She looked pained, as if she hadn’t just defiled you in some unbelievable and terrifying way. Like she had instead been the one to somehow become nothing but a husk reduced to a master’s bidding.

The questions of how and why were disregarded for a greater purpose, saving yourself from whatever was happening and preventing it from ever happening again.

How dare someone you trusted, cared for, looked up to, do whatever that hell that was to you, a friend, even for the fleeting moments she did.

The blood in your body was now cold, face pale and painted with such a deep look of betrayal you could feel the guilt radiate from her being.

“Y/N.. I-“

“Don’t.”

You didn’t even breathe when she flinched at the steel tone of your voice. This was all too much. This whole day was entirely too much. You needed to get away from this, from them, and you needed to do it now.

She knew what she’d done. Not only had she lied to you your entire friendship, but she’d hurt you in a way that shouldn’t be humanely possible. Panicked in her efforts to come clean to you, protect you, and protect herself, she’d acted too quickly, doing something she’d swore never to do again. It was one thing to keep secrets, but another to use them against someone.

Seokjin forgotten, you briskly made your exit, making sure they couldn’t see as the tears fell.

————

“If I see one more walk by, I’m going out there and beating the shit out of them,” you mutter to yourself halfheartedly underneath the comfort of the blanket fort you’d built in the living room.

After spending a few days trying to piece yourself back together, you’d decided the best course of action was: avoidance. Within the tiny walls of your home, you could stay cooped up in a safe space and forget everything that happened. Statue man could stay with her and you could go on with your life, without the both of them.

It seemed do-able at first, spending an unhealthy amount of time in bed, watching movies, the occasional brief call with your mother, but it of course couldn’t stay that way.

You’d been naive enough to think that the town would go back to normal, find something new to obsess over and forget all about you and the stupid statue.

Oh, how wrong you’d been.

Suddenly your house was like an attraction for everyone. As soon as the sun rose, you’d catch a few faces passing by your windows, just outside the front gate. There they’d sit for a few minutes, gawk and gossip, and eventually leave, and be replaced by a new set of oglers ready for a show.

You weren’t afraid of the attention, just miffed that your plan to lay low and be alone failed from the beginning.

Despite the annoyance from the nosy town folk, you were grateful that it had only been them, and not two other faces outside.

Watching the last of the group of young girls get bored and disperse from your window, you turn your attention back to the movie on your screen. As the characters moved and music played in the background, you forced yourself to try and focus on that. Instead, thoughts of Kim Seokjin and your friend weasel their way in over the noise.

What were they doing? Were they thinking of a way to fix things with you? Had they forgotten about you and moved on? How did she even do that in the first place? And what is the whole backstory between them?

The questions tore you up inside, fighting with the stubborn part of you that wanted to forget them completely. The other downside to isolating yourself was the immense amount of free time to think about everything that’s happened. It was a nightmare going over everything, every single bit that made no sense, bits and pieces not adding up in any way you could understand.

Just a few days ago you were a normal girl living life in a boring town fighting with your friend over the legitimacy of a town legend.

She was your only friend, the only person who listened, who understood. Could you forgive her for what she did? It was quite obvious she’d been keeping things from you, but for how long, and why? And Seokjin, your soulmate, how are you supposed to love someone you don’t know, who’s probably lived a whole life before yours even began?

If he is your soulmate, why didn’t he stop her? Did he feel the pain you did when you were robbed of your own self? How could he see you in such distress and not do anything? Why hadn’t it scared him as much as it had you? What parts of Mira’s hidden past was he privy to that you were not?

Perhaps you were putting too much onto the whole soulmates thing. After all, how could you expect a stranger to assert himself into such a personal thing, even considering the circumstances. When it all comes down to it, soulmate or not, Kim Seokjin is an outsider, an alien to you.

He is no more a part of your life than the nosy towns people, the visiting tourists, or the migrating birds. You don’t owe him anything, and he you.

The only thing you could wish for him right now, is to go about his own life and not force himself into yours.

Pillow clutched unknowingly tight to your chest, grounding yourself, you couldn’t help the dull ache in your heart. That was the only thing you would allow yourself to chalk up to the soulmate thing. Maybe one day, like them, you’d be able to ignore it too.

Movie long abandoned, you trudged your way back and forth, pacing across the wooden floorboards like a caged animal. You were desperate to get out, see the stars, breathe in the fresh air, but your body was still afraid of what leaving these four walls might incur. Whether you were ready to face them or not, you couldn’t sit there and drive yourself insane any longer.

The sun had set hours ago, the light from the moon casting a hazy white glow over the landscape, and you were desperate for even just a second to bask in it.

Grabbing a light jacket to fend off the chilly night air, you brace yourself, hand wrapped tightly around the door knob, and take a deep breathe.

Now that you were truly thinking about it, it must look overly pathetic from an outsider’s perspective. You’d been holed up in your home for four days now, only peeking suspiciously through your windows to glare at the onlookers and then returning to a pitiful mope-fest with only one attendee; you.

You owed it to yourself to snap out of it, move on, and go back to life as normally as possible. The only thing you could control was yourself. It doesn’t matter what others do or don’t do, you need to do what you can, for you.

And right now, that’s enjoying some fresh night air and being brave.

Taking that first step out onto the front porch is what you imagine the first astronaut on the moon must’ve felt. The most mundane of things became a huge feat, and you weren’t about to ruin it for yourself, no matter how silly it seemed.

Looking out across the street, the sidewalk empty and streetlights dim, it was like you were finally yourself again. The stars above and the moon shining bright made the first smile in days appear.

All of the worries, the questions, the bitterness lifted away by a light breeze, the clouds in your head dispersed and you had the sudden urge to forgive. All your life you’d been quick to judge and draw conclusions, but something within you told you there was more to this than meets the eye. You needed the truth.

Like fate had been keeping a close eye, your attention was drawn to the figure making its way along the outside of your fence line. The long dark hair caused a breathe to catch in your throat, and you were suddenly questioning if you were really were ready to face things.

She stopped just before the gate, head looking up and catching your eyes with her own.

Hesitating, she clears her throat, “I...I didn’t think you’d be up.”

Watching as her hands lifted up, you spot the neat paper bag tucked within her palms.

Still afraid to say anything, not trusting yourself to stay calm and collected, she continues.

“He’s been asking a lot about you. I wanted to do something...to apologize.”

She pauses, waiting to see if you’d run away or tell her to leave, but when you nod in the direction of the bag, she finishes, “I showed him how to make your favorite cookies. But I thought it be best if just I came to drop them off. I didn’t want to overwhelm you.”

Arms protectively crossed over your chest, you take another deep breath and slowly descend the porch on step at a time. Instead of meeting her at the gate, you plant firmly in the grass.

“Why?”

It sounded choked coming out and you hated that. Not only did you not want to seem weak in front of her, you didn’t want her to think you hated her. The only thing you want is the truth. She owes you that much.

Mira fidgets a moment and returns her attention to you, not quite in the eyes, but it’s close enough.

“I didn’t mean to-I just-“ Tripping over her words, not exactly sure how to begin or where to go, you stop her quickly.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Finally meeting your eyes, she sees the strength you’ve managed to muster up, sees that twinge of forgiveness at the helm and realizes it’s now or never.

“I’ve wanted to explain everything, I just wasn’t sure how to go about it.”

“So instead you instigate me to break some curse you already somehow knew I’d be able to, pretend to be someone your not this entire time, and somehow posses me and take away my free will?”

The look of shame that melted onto her face struck a chord of guilt deep in your soul, but this was something you had to do. For too long you let others have free reign, it was time to take control.

“I wasn’t sure if you could handle it, or even believe me in the first place...”

“And how am I supposed to ever believe you now? I don’t even know who you really are, what you are...”

Tension building quickly in the cool air, things were becoming muddled. You weren’t even sure what you were pushing for, a confession? A secret so dark and unbelievable it was grounds enough to hide from you for as long as you were friends.

“I’m a witch.” There’s a long pause. You both stand there, staring at each other, unsure of who’s to make the next move. Mira’s afraid she’s just divulged her dangerous secret to someone who can’t handle it, and you’re afraid you’ve officially lost your mind.

“I know I sound like an old record player by now, but maybe we should take this somewhere more,” she pauses to look around the darkness cautiously, sending a shiver down your spine, “private?”

————

Turns out cookies at 2 in the morning are a good way to smooth over the confessions of the magical past of your only friend. Not going to lie, you’d taken plenty of breaks to try and absorb and process the incredible amount of information Mira, or formerly known as Althaia in the late 1800s, if you can believe it, had to unload on you. In her defense, you’d pushed her quite hard to open up and be 100% honest with you.

“So, you just...change your appearance and house every few centuries and pretend to be someone else?” Rubbing your head to ease the growing headache as you mindlessly shoved another cookie in your mouth, you felt like a little kid asking an adult really strange questions that shouldn’t have a serious answer.

Mira nods, wrapping her hands around the mug of coffee you made her and taking a sip.

“And you knew Seokjin when he was alive, well, in his own time, before he turned into a statue?”

She cringes a bit and it catches your attention, “About that...”

“You mean, you’re the one that cursed him?!?” It was probably the hundredth time you’d asked her that in the past half hour, but you couldn’t help it, you suddenly felt like you were going crazy, trapped in some bad supernatural rom-com or something.

Sighing loudly enough to voice her growing impatience with you, she nodded, “Yes, for the millionth time. I put the curse on Kim Seokjin.”

“Well, why?” Resting your chin in your palms, eyes wide like a child, you prayed further. You just couldn’t understand why on Earth she’d curse him in the first place. Even if she is a witch, what could have warranted him to invoke a curse? And why this particular curse?

“Well, it’s not really my story to tell...”

Holding true to your childish theme growing in this conversation, you pouted, bottom lip sticking out and leaning forward on the table, “But you cursed him, how is not yours to tell?”

Mira only shakes her head, a small smile playing on her lips at your antics. You’d only shown your stubborn side like this to her on few occasions, and it made her laugh at how you could be so apathetic one minute and youthfully enthusiastic the next.

“True, but there’s much more to it than it seems. Besides, I think it’s time you both get together, talk, and figure things out.”

Your silent for a moment, fighting another pout and mulling over her words. Then suddenly, it hits you.

“Well, if you’re the one who cursed him, you can break our soulmate bond too, right?”

Her grin morphs into a neutral line, lips curled in. Like she’s trying to think of the best way to let you down.

“The thing is, I only enacted the curse. The means to break it were decided by fate, not me.” The look of disappointment that washed over you couldn’t help but bring a prick of guilt from the witch.

She’d invoked the curse reluctantly to help another, and now she was hurting someone again. If she could go back, maybe she’d have done differently.

Silence again stretched out between the both of you. It was one thing when it was some folk lore from town, but now knowing the truth, and knowing it is all very real and unavoidable; unfix-able, it’s a harder pill to swallow.

“Do you,” you squeak softly, eyes trained on the floor, “do you think we can actually do this? That I can do this?”

Mira’s hand reaches across the table to softly grasp your own. Despite your protests, a small tear slips from the corner of your eye, and you rush to brush it away.

“I’m scared.”

“Scared of what?” Even though she understands, she wants to hear you say it, for yourself to hear it.

“Of being tied to a stranger forever. Forced to be with someone I may not ever fall in love with...”

“To possibly fall for someone who’s forced to be bound to me forever, who may never truly love me back.”

__________________________________________________________

A.N.,

Not going to lie, writing this portion was like pulling teeth. I’m not 100% happy with how it turned out, but in order to progress the way I want, I needed some things cleared up first. Now that we know Mira’s little secret, how will Y/N and her’s dynamic change? How will Seokjin fit into Y/N’s life and this new world? I promise, Y/N x Jinnie shenanigans are coming in the next part!

-Moonie🌙

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