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quicksilverownsmysoul · 3 years

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13 Going on 30 pt. 3

A Peter Maximoff x reader fanfic based off the movie 13 going on 30

Summary: You are so excited when the most popular girl in your school agrees to come to your 13th birthday party. But after a cruel prank you find yourself wishing that you were popular and older. By some miracle your wish is granted but isn’t as wonderful as it seems. You turn out to be a major jerk and you don't even talk to your best friend Peter anymore. Can you fix everything and get back to normal or are you stuck living like this forever

Warnings: Angst, Some suggestive content, But it’s mostly pure fluff. (Also Peter has no powers in this fic, and some scenes will be changed to fit Peter and his personality and so I can be creative with it!)

Word Count: 2103

Peter thought it was safe to say that adult life sucked. And it wasn't just because he had run out of lucky charms this morning and had to settle for something called shredded wheat that was hidden away in the back of the panty. They were gross and tasted like cardboard, but Peter was all out of groceries so this would have to do.

No nothing had seemed to go right for him after high school, he went to college, (even though he spent most of the time partying and goofing off), got the degree and yet he was barely scraping by. But he couldn't complain, all that much at least. He enjoyed his job and even if at times it was hard to earn money he wouldn't trade it for the world. He had fallen in love with photography in freshman year and decided to major in it. He had a minor in business too, something you had always told him would be useful as a backup. You were always practical like that, making sure he never completely fell over the edge. But he was hesitant to use it, because in using that minor it kinda meant he was giving up his dream. Giving in to the regular, soul crossing 9 to 5 job that everyone seemed to have. Peter was a dreamer at heart, in a way it would kill him to do anything other than photography.

He ate a spoonful of his cereal, making a face at the dull taste. Chewing, he glanced over at the stack of bills littering the counter. A lot of them were piling up, sooner or later he may have to give into the normalcy of a business job. Work had been slow lately and very boring. More often than not people hired him to take photos for their weddings or graduation, simple stuff. Stuff that had him bored out of his mind. But there were no clients currently so until he got one he had all the time in the world to himself. Which he loved at first but now it seems he was falling into a bit of a routine.

Peter aimlessly wandered around the kitchen lost in thought, his eyes drifted toward the collection of pictures pinned to his fridge. There was a picture of you on there, from before you had cut him out of your life. Peter set the bowl down on the counter and gently lifted the magnet to pull the picture off. It was a polaroid of you two, You had your arms wrapped around Peter’s shoulders, hugging him from behind. His hands were resting on yours, you both were smiling, teeth missing.

This picture was from the first day of first grade. Even back then Peter had had some feelings for you. And the way his eyes looked at you and not the camera was proof of this. Peter ran his thumb gently over the faded picture, for a moment he let himself wonder about how you were doing, before he snapped himself out of it. He put the picture back in its place and picked his bowl back up. It was too early to be having thoughts like that.

Peter yawned and lazily plopped down on his worn out sofa, flipping through the channels on the tv. There was nothing on, signing he threw out the rest of his cereal, it had gotten soggy while he was busy reminiscing. He dropped the empty bowl into the sink, only adding to the collection of unwashed dishes. He glanced over at the phone and the soft blinking of the red light, indicating he had voicemails he hadn't listened to yet. He knew he was going to have to take her calls sooner or later but right now he didn't want to deal with her.

He headed to the park and decided to do some laps on the path, running always helped him to relax and clear his head. He always got stares and shy smiles from the women that were jogging, he found out that apparently the silver hair that everyone made fun of him for was very attractive to women now. Something he used to use to his advantage to pick up the occasional hook up.

After that he went to go get groceries and then played on his pacman machine until lunchtime. He totally knew how to spend his time. He made his way over to the kitchen and looked at all the new groceries he had bought. Twinkies, instant ramen, mac and cheese, he picked up the box of lucky charms, weighing the option of eating it for lunch. He thought better of it and put it back on the shelf, he really needed to eat healthier, god knows sooner or later his metabolism was going to give out.

He picked up the phone and placed an order form the Chinese place a couple blocks away, ordering way more food than he needed. That way he wouldn't have to cook for the next few meals. Peter was inherently lazy and cooking was not something he was very good at. So when he would he just ordered takeout and leftovers so he could eat them later. He hung up the phone and walked over to the fridge and took out the milk, drinking it straight for the carton, while he was doing that he heard a loud knock on the door. “That was quick.” The knocking continued non stop over and over, “I’m coming hold on!” He yelled out as he shuffled to the door and opened it peering through the opening that the chain allowed. “You know it’s rude to-'' The words died in his throat. There was a woman standing at his door, wearing a coat over her night dress.

*******************************************************

You hadn't been able to pay attention to the briefing your boss gave, your assistant came in about half way through and handed you a small slip of paper. She said that she had found Peter’s address like you had asked. You had pulled her into a hug, creating an awkward tension in the room. The meeting had seemed to go on forever, and for the life of you you couldn't even remember what it was about. As soon as the meeting ended you had bolted out the door, ignoring the calls of your boss and colleagues telling you that work wasn't over yet.

You had found his apartment after randomly asking strangers in the street which way it was. You were at his door, the number on it hanging lopsided. You began to rapidly knock until the door was pulled open. “You know it’s rude to-”

He paused as he saw you staring at him. He furrowed his brows in confusion. “You’re not the chinese delivery guy.”

You felt your eyes widen as you took him in. “Peter?” You asked in a small voice.

He narrowed his eyes suspiciously at you. “Yeah?”

You let out a sigh of relief, smiling. “You’re tall.” You looked him up and down. “And you’re so handsome.”

His face turned red at your words. He didn't even know who this random woman was that was standing here, telling him he was handsome. He leaned against the doorframe, taking another drink out of the carton. “I’m sorry do- do I know you?”

He watched your face fall. “You don’t know me?”

“No?” He said, wiping the dribbling milk off his chin. Even after all these years his mannerisms were the same.

“Wait! “ You said rushing forward. He jumped slightly at the sudden action. “It’s me, I saw you yesterday. Well I was thirteen yesterday so I guess it wasn't yesterday. Because now i'm old and I don't know where I am-” Peter watched you ramble on and slowly began to close the door. You continued on. “But you were there at my party-”

Peter paused, squinting his eyes and looking at you closely.. “(Y/n)?” He asked hesitantly, reopening the door as much as the chain would allow. “(y/n) (y/l/n)?” You smiled wide at him.

“Yes! Yes it’s me!”

Peter slammed the door shut in your face. You heard him unlock all the locks on his side of the door, when he was down he swung the door open. “Hey.” he gave you a small smile. You lunged at him and tackled him in a hug, wrapping your arms tightly around his neck. He just stood there frozen, slowly moving his free hand up to awkwardly pat you on the back. “Come in I guess.” He muttered.

You pulled back smiling at him. Even after all this time your sweet smile could make his heart skip a beat. You looked around his small apartment taking it all in. Peter did his best to kick discarded clothes into the closet, and keep you from seeing what a mess it was. You looked along his walls to see framed pictures of portraits and beautiful landscapes. “Are you still taking pictures?” You asked,

“Uh yeah, they pay the bills.” He quickly grabbed the pile of unpaid bills, stuffing them behind the couch cushion. “Usually.” He muttered under his breath. You were pacing around his apartment, in confused circles. He nervously rubbed the nape of his neck. “Hey, (y/n) I don't wanna be rude but why are you here?”

“Petey I told you.” You said moving closer to him, he let out a little laugh.

“Petey wow, no one has called me that in ages.”

“Petey listen I came here cause something really weird is happening. Yesterday was my 13th birthday and then today I woke up and I’m this!” You said gesturing to your body. Peter tried his best not to look you up and down, he couldn't deny that you had grown up well. You were even more beautiful than he remembered. “And you’re that!” You said gesturing towards him.

Peter looked down at himself self consciously. “Gee thanks. Do I really look that bad?”

“No!” You quickly said. You felt yourself blush as you looked him over. His hair was tousled and messy, he was wearing an oversized pink floyd crop top and from the looks of the hem it seemed he had made it himself. You watched the veins in his hands ripple and his arms slightly flex. “Uh you,” You let out an embarrassed laugh. “You actually look really good, like really good.”

Peter flushed at your words and turned away so you couldn't see his blushing face. “Wow.” He whispered under his breath, he lifted a hand up to his face, doing his best to hide the smile that was forming. He turned back to and regained a serious composure. “Are you sure you're okay (y/n).” He took in your mismatched outfit and broken heel. “Are you high? Have you been smoking pot? Doing drugs, cause if you are I’m not judging as long as it’s just weed or something. Cause I mean I get it, I get stressed to and every now and then need-”

“No, no.” You said shaking your head rapidly. “Wait do you do-,” You lowered your voice to a whisper. “Do you do drugs Peter?”

“No! No.” Peter shrugged. “Ehhh well not drugs, just weed.” He defended. But looking at your judgmental eyes he quickly continued on. “And I don’t, well I don’t that much any more. It was in college you know how it was.”

“Actually I don’t.” You moved even closer to him. “Look, I was sitting in my closet, and I- I skipped everything. I can’t- I can’t remember my life.” Your eyes were watery as you started back at him. His heart ached seeing you like this. You continued on. ‘You need to help me remember my life.”

At this he scoffed, and pretended to look around as if you were referring to someone else. “Me?” he said pointing to himself, letting out an airy laugh. “That’s rich.”

“What why?” He let out another laugh at your response, this one was dry. He looked at your face and saw that you weren’t kidding, you were serious about asking for his help.

“(Y/n) I can’t.” He was in disbelief, did you seriously have no idea what you had done to him. “I don’t know anything about you. I haven't seen you since high school.” Your face morphed into one of confusion.

“What?”

What he said next pained him, and he couldn’t bring himself to look you in the eyes. “(Y/n). We’re not friends anymore.”

You felt your heart shatter into a million pieces. “What?”

Taglist:

@lets-imagine-fanfics @steamboat-local @weasly-twin-simp

Let me know if you want to be added!!

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fan-girling-101 · 4 years

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Switched

Request by Anonymous: Hello can I please request a imagine where the ready has a twin sister and they decided to switch and see how long it takes everyone to notice. The reader is also dating JJ!! Thank you!!

JJ Maybank X Reader

Summary: Request^

Warnings: Swearing, underage drinking, slight rape just a little bit sorta

Word count: 2880

The twin Sadie, her nickname by Rafe is Die I hope someone gets the reference. Also thank you so so so much for my first request I was so happy. Please continue sending them in. And I’m very slow at updating so sorry in advance if I take a long time to respond.

Part two

Not edited sorry for mistakes

When me and my twin sister Sadie where younger we’d switch places all the time. I was amusing being someone else for the short time we’d do it. As we got older it stopped happening as much until the last time we did it was grade 6. The two of us have lived on the rich side of the Outerbanks our whole life The rich people were never my scene though, so I made friends with the pogues. I was closest to JJ out of everyone in the group and slowly I found myself falling for the blond headed idiot. And somehow that’s how I ended up here, two months into dating JJ but scheming with my sister.

“Come on Sadie just for a little bit.” I pleaded with her, between the two of us Sadie was always the level headed and calm sister. It was my idea in the first place to switch places back in kindergarten.

“I am NOT kissing JJ.” Was the main argument to why she didn’t want to do it.

“I don’t want you to kiss him. He’s my boyfriend, it’s not like I’m going to kiss Rafe the lo-” I got cut off with a hand over my mouth. The love of your life was the ending to that sentence. Sadie doesn’t like talking about it but she’s in love with Rafe Cameron.

“If we do this you need ground rules.” She states looking around my room for the notebook we would write the rules in everytime. She finds the dark read notebook on the bottom of my bookshelf and grabs a random pen from my desk. “1. No kissing anyone. I won’t kiss JJ and you don’t kiss you know who.” she says gesturing with her hand.

“I’m never going to kiss Voldemort.” I joke as she starts in her effortlessly perfect handwriting.

“Your so funny I might die of laughter.” Her bitch face on as she glares at me. “2. Don’t make and life altering decisions.” I nod along thinking of what else to add.

“4.” “What about 3 stupid.” “3 is a stupid number I don’t like it. 4. I pick what you wear and vice versa.” She starts writing it down writing three instead of four. “I think that’s it. There’s a bonfire tonight at John B’s tonight wanna start then?”

“Yea that’s good I’m supposed to go over to Sarah’s. And take a picture of it because if you do anything wrong I’m going to kill you and throw you in the marsh.”

“And remember no kissing ya know.”

Day one

Y/N’s Pov

Sadie dressed me in a white summer dress and I took her car over to the Camerons. When I park outside of the huge house I text Sarah to let me in. I pull down the sun visor and open the mirror looking at my appearance with the light make up and my Y/H/C slightly curled.

“Your name is Sadie Y/L/N, your 16 and in love with Rafe Cameron.” I take a breath getting in the mindset of my twin. “I can totally do this.” I hop out the car making it to the first step when Sarah opens the door. “Hey.”

“Hi you know you don’t have to tell me you’re here. You just walk in.” She opens the door wider so I can slip through. I awkwardly laugh nodding my head unsure what to do. “Go up to my room I’ll get snacks.”

I walk up the stairs trying to remember where her room is. I’ve only been here a few times before Midsummers so we could all get ready together. I look both ways before deciding on going right. I get to the door I think is Sarah’s opening it praying to God I was right. But God decided on taking a vacation, instead of the light purple walls I was hoping for I got grey ones instead.

“Fuck!” I hear, the person in the room faces me calming down once he sees who opened the door. “God Die what the hell. Next time knock, and what are you even doing here.”

“Umm.... I’m lost. I think my brain stopped working I thought this was Sarah’s room.” I say looking around the room my eyes landing on a white substance on the desk he stood up from. “What’s that.” I ask hoping it’s not what I think it is and Sadie’s crush is a druggie.

“Nothing, two four doors down.” I slowly nob. closing the door trying to forget what I ‘didn’t’ just see. “And Die you didn’t see anything ok.” I nod again opening the right door this time sitting waiting for Sarah.

Sadie’s POV

“Hey princess.” JJ greats me as I get out of Putt Putt Y/N’s car. His hand finds its way to my denim clad hip from the shorts Y/N put me in. I really just want to push his hand off me, this is my sister boyfriend for God sake. He leans down to press him lips to mine but i turn my head his lips landing on my cheek instead.

“Hi.” I wave to the rest of them pulling away from JJ. I try to ignore the stare coming from the blond as I sit in one of the lawn chairs. The sun was going down as I got here Y/N telling me what time to leave and what to wear before heading out way earlier to the Camerons.

“Late as always Y/N/N.” John B shakes his head sipping the beer in his hand. Never once has my sister been early for anything and it stresses me out so much I don’t know how she does it.

“It’s called being fashionably late Booker. But you wouldn’t get that would you?” I laugh knowing that was something she would say to her best friends. JJ sits beside me still staring so I turn to face him giving him a smile, he relaxes a little bit wrapping an arm around my shoulders. My or Y/N’s phone rings in her backpack I grab it out seeing the text from ‘My Person’, it was what we agreed on for our contact names after we repeatedly binged Grey’s.

My person

Bro what do you and S talk about????

The latest drama at school

Sooo.... What is the latest drama

God do we even go to the same school Immanuel P. kissed Madison B.

Seriously!!

In a few hours it hits midnight and I was freezing. The cropped AC/DC shirt and shorts doing nothing against the cold autumn air. The night of Autumn in the Outerbanks were always so cold for a place that’s supposed to be hot. The fire was helping but I wanted something more. I got up to check Putt Putt for one of Y/N’s hoodies but I was pulled back landing on JJ’s lap a small shriek leaving my lips.

“Were you going Princess.” His arms tightly around my waist while my arms go around his neck. His eyes staring into mine with nothing but adoration. I was happy that Y/N had someone in her life that loved her, but the way he looked at me thinking I was my sister makes me want to tell them a little . But I have to admit this is so fun.

“I’m cold and just going to find a hoodie.” He still doesn’t let go, instead one hand moves off my waist to grab something beside him. In his hand is know a black hoodie that would be way too big for me but as he hands it to me I slip it over my head. “Thanks.”

“You ok, you seem, I don’t know... off.”

“I’m fine.” I give him a reassuring smile but I can she he doesn’t buy it.

“Are you sure you know you can tell anything right.” His thumb starts rubbing circles on the exposed skin under my shirt. I am so taking a long bath when I get home. I like JJ, it’s not like I hate Pogues or anything it just weird though.

“I 100 percent fine J, if something was wrong I’d tell you, you know that”

“Yea I do.”

Day 2

Sadie’s POV

Nothing was happening with the pogues today so I got an off day, but then I had to go and say something I wish I didn’t.

🥰My Surfer Boy🥺

You doing anything Can I come over

Sadie is dragging me to a kook party

Well then I’ll just have to score an invite

Now JJ wasn’t going to stop till he could come which wouldn’t be hard as Sarah was inviting John B.

Y/N POV

We pick out each others clothes before going to the party at Topper’s. I go to find Sarah lookinaroundud for the blonde. But instead of finding that blond I see Sade and JJ, his arm wrapped around my sister making me jealous.

“Hey Die.” A voice says right behind me making me jump not at all expecting Rafe. He chuckles at me reaction before handing me a drink.

“What’s in it.” I ask, Sadie doesn't normally drink so I don’t know if I should take a sip of the dark liquor. “Trust me.” Is all he says back. I take whiff smelling how strong it is. Me personally would never trust Rafe, but this is Sadie not Y/N. I take a cautious sip. The second I take a sip I almost gag at how strong it is. I could handle alcohol but that is to much. Rafe starts laughing so I grab the front of his shirt and pour the rest down his chest.

“Hey Hey.” he pushes me back but it’s to late his shirt now had a dark stain on the front. “Okay maybe I deserved that.” He shakes his head at mumbling something about changing his shirt. There was a tug on my arm and I was faced with myself, well my sister. JJ behind her laughing putting his hand up for me to high five. Which I did.

“What are you doing. I would never do that.” She scolds me in a whisper so JJ won’t hear. When we switched Sadie was very serious about staying discreet.

“Well I can’t kiss him as you what do you want me to do?” I laugh as she scoffs walking away JJ following behind her still laughing.

Day 4

Sadie’s POV

Four days nobody really suspected anything, well other than JJ he keeps asking if I ok. And I’ve had to dodge every kiss he tried to give me, and when I tell you JJ loves kiss Y/N it’s an understatement. It was the night of a boneyard kegger hosted by the pogues.

I was chatting with Kie about turtles when a very drunk Kelce came over. He slung his arm around my shoulder, his drink spilling out of his cup and onto Y/N’s favorite shirt. I never really liked Kelce he just made me uncomfortable. Any time I saw Rafe, Topper and him out I’d always say hi, bothe Rafe and Topper would respond with a hi while Kelce would look me up and down before saying anything.

“Hey babygirl. God you don’t know how many times I’ve dreamed of fucking you are you sister, to have the two of you under me screaming my name. Why don’t we make it reality.” He drops his mostly full cup silling it on the converse I was wearing. His hand going to my waist and his lips attaching to my neck.

“Get off me! Stop!” Suddenly he was ripped off me. JJ’s fist colliding with his face. Kie grabs my hand asking if I was okay. I nod hopping into the van. Soon enough John B, Pope and JJ came to the van, JJ sitting right beside me wrapping me in his arms hugging me as no one said anything.

“I don’t know how many times I’m going to have to punch him in the face for him to stop.” JJ said as we park at John B’s. I grab my phone leaving the van before it’s fully stopped I ran inside Dialing my number.

“Yo Sade how’s life on the cut.”

“Were you ever going to tell me about Kelce.” I ask angrly pacing around the small bathroom.

“About that.” She nervously laughs not continuing. “Maybe should've warned you Kelce is in love with us before you went to the party.”

In Love with us! Y/N he tried to have sex with me!.”

“I know.”

“I hate you sometimes.”

Day 5

Y/N’s POV

I was at a small party just some friends over and some games at Sarah’s. We were all sitting in the living room talking about all the drama at school which I knew nothing about. A hour in Rafe and some of his guys friends walked in. Just as Sarah was going to tell them to leave Carmella asked them to stay, while practically eye fucking the kook king himself. Instead of walking over to the girl begging for his attention he sat beside me on the couch. I put Sadie’s phone I was currently texting her on so she could keep up with everything down.

“Nice to see you here Die.”

“Hi Rafey.” I replied back using the nickname I usually call him. He rolls his eye as Carmella sits basically on top of him and starts a conversation about some boring kook thing. I felt bad for Sadie if this is what she has to deal with. “Come on. We’re out of snacks.” I grab his hand pulling him with me to the kitchen.

“Why do I have to come.” He whines like a baby as we get into the hallway, but follows even when I let go of his hand.

“Because I need help getting snacks.” JJ please forgive me for what I’m about to do. I grab the front of his expensive polo shirt putting my lips to his. He starts to kiss back but I pull away grabbing Oreos and walking back to the living room. Soon Rafe walks in clearly shocked of what just happened in the kitchen. Rule one and two broken. Oops.

Sadie’s POV

After hours of sitting in the sun on the boat I’m practically dying. I mean sure living in Obx you get used to the heat but someone turn the heat down. JJ has been asking me nonstop questions about things which I find weird but I answer.

What star sign are you? Virgo

Who’s the president? Trump

How many states are there? 50

9x7? 63

Our favorite thing to do together? Surf

What does www mean? World wide web

What university are you going to? UNC

Dream job? Not sure

I was confused what was happening the Pogues all asked what JJ was doing but he just said nothing.

“Sadie.”

“Yea-shit.”

“HA I knew it.” JJ jumped up startling everyone. I sighed, everytime it was always me that messes up if people find out.

“How did you find out. Was it that I knew was www meant?” I question texting Y/N to get to John B’s. As we pulled up to the dock Kie got out laughing that I should be an actress.

“No it’s that you answered 9x7 so fast. Also next time dream job is opening a surf shop together.”

Y/N’s POV

When I show up I knock on the door fiddling with my fingers. The door opens with the blond headed, blue eyed boy kissing me. He wraps his arms tightly around my back like he hasn’t kissed my in forever. I giggled kissing his nose wrapping my arms around his neck.

“Took you long enough. Five days surfer boy, gotta do better next time.” I push past him into the Chateau. “Hey guys miss me.” They shake the heads at me calling us crazy.

“I just thought it was that time of the month or something.” JJ said wrapping his arms around my torso resting his head on my head. I hit the back of his head causing him to playfully bite my ear. “Don’t ever do that again I was worried you were mad at me.” He looks between me and Sadie and I turn to face him giving his a salute.

I sit beside Sadie whispering in her ear that I kissed Rafe earlier tonight. “WHAT!” She jumps up. “You broke rule one and two!!! I have to go fix what you messes up now!”

“I didn’t break rule four though.”

“I hate you!” She runs out of the house starting up her car and driving off to the Camerons.

Later that night I’m curled into JJ on the bed in the room he claimed as our. The shirt he was wearing now over my shoulders enclosing me in the smell and heat that is JJ Maybank. My head on his chest listening to the rhythmic heartbeat. In the five days without JJ this is one of the things I missed most. His smell was just intoxicating and his arms tightly around me felt safe.

“Oh JJ I may have kissed Rafe.”

______________________________________________________________

Part two

#jj maybank #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank fanfiction #jj maybank x reader #john b routledge #kiara carrera #pope heyward #rafe cameron #kelce smith #topper thornton #sarah cameron #obx #outer banks #outerbanks #outerbanks imagine #obx imagine #twins

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thr-333 · 4 years

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Mismatch- Part 17

Bio Dad Bruce Wayne Month 2020

“Push me off the roof you coward!”

First< Previous > Next

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“So do you want to be Batman or should I?” Marion brings out the two outfits identical in every way except size.

“It’s not actually dressing up,” Marinette scolds fixing her hair.

“Well then you single handedly ruined halloween,” Marion grins coming up behind her, “Everyone wears them for it,”

“Don’t exaggerate,” Marinette watches him warily in the mirror, prepared to defend if-when he makes a move to mess up her hair.

“So Batman or Robin?” Marion holds the outfits up, dangerous close to her head.

“I don’t care,” Marinette stands up, spinning around, using the chair as a shield.

“Coin flip then,” Marion drapes them over the chair, “Oooh foreshadowing!”

“Please tell me you're going to take this marginally seriously?” Marinette leans back on the dresser as he fishes for a coin.

“You’re starting to sound like our manager,” Marion flips the coin with extra flare, “Heads,”

“You should thank Kate for setting this up,” Marinette catches the coin before he can, “Tails,”

She takes the Robin outfit from the chair, ducking Marion as she passes.

“You know I don’t think Kate wants to see me,” Marion takes his outfit behind the opposite curtain, “She's pretty stressed something will go wrong,”

“In Gotham?” Marinette pokes her head out the curtain on the other side of the room.

“I know, crazy right,” Marion also peaks through the curtain, “Where would she get that idea?”

“Who knows?” Marinette cheekily grins before ducking back behind the curtain.

“If we get attacked again I think we might give aunt- I mean,” Marion pauses pulling on his grey turtleneck, “ugh, this is hard,”

“Mari, the outfits are designed for easy use,” Marinette teases, tone sounding half hearted even from this distance.

“What are you calling her in your head?” Marion pulls the turtle neck down all the way.

“Selina,” Marinette answers, as he shrugs on his hooded crop top over the turtleneck, split into two colours to make a vague bat-shape. “Although I just avoid saying it out loud,”

“Great minds think alike,” Marion pulls on his grey leggings, that Marinette had thankfully made into thermals.

“I’m the only great mind here,” Marinette teases, Marion lets out fake gasp as he pulls a pair of shorts over his leggings, “You just like to copy,”

“How dare you!” Marion pulls the curtains aside dramatically, Marinette doesn't even look up from where she's putting on bracelets, “Dishonour! Dishonour on you, Dishonour on your kwami! Dis-”

“Hey!” Tikki flies out of the backpack.

“Sorry Tikki,” Marion looks away from the fuming Kwami, trying to avoid her by pulling on his black and blue boots.

“It’s ok Tikki,” Marinette finishes putting green and gold bracelets up to her elbows, “He’s just trying to be funny,”

“And succeeding!” Marion corrects, smoothing a mask over his eyes.

“Ah-ha,” Marinette stands, black and yellow scarf flaring out at the back.

“You know I don’t think she agrees,” Marion stage whispers to Plagg from his bag.

“Ah-ha,” Plagg says in the same tone, as Marion is pulling on his black gloves.

“Traitors, all of you,”

“Hey look,” Marinette bumps his shoulder, nodding towards someone.

“It’s Jason,” Marion whispers back excitedly, moving to wave.

“MCD doesn't know him,” Marinette grabs his arm, “Let’s hope this isn’t as awkward as it was with Chloe,”

“I thought that was fun,”

“Of course you did,”

"Hi," Jason approaches nervously, completely different to how Marion's met him before, it's cute.

"Oh hello, stranger," Marion grins, ignoring the kick from Marinette, he'll be careful, it's fine he's got this, "Whats your name?"

"Jason," Oh my God he's blushing!

"Jasin," Marion repeats pretending to write on what he was handed.

"Um…." Jason looks like he's about to correct Marion, this will be perfect- "yep,"

Fuck fuck fuck i though he would correct me fuck, Marinette help! Marinette rolls her eyes at his pleading look.

"Jason, CD," Pointing to the page without writing, "son,"

"Ohhhh Jason,” Marion says, as if he had come to some amazing realisation, Marinette looks like she wants to slap him, “haha, sorry, of course, I just didn’t hear you right, because I don’t know your name, why would I know your name? It's-"

Marinette rightfully cuts off his rambling with a swift kick, that both knew would never actually hurt him. At least Jason looks just as embarrassed as him, neither quite knowing how to start the conversation back up,"

"How about we take a picture?" Marinette says, their saving grace.

"Yeah, that would be great," Jason fumbles for his phone, Marion hopes his mask will cover his blush, as he remembers what Jason had said about him at dinner, the only reason he was blushing.

They take a nice picture together. Then one where Marion throws bunny ears behind MDC. She swats his hand away and he pushes her out of frame. The next picture is one of him and Jason with Marinette rising up, like a threatening blur in the background.

"Aw thats a nice picture" Marion looks over Jason shoulder, they were meant to be with the next person already but they were a design hopeful, babbling to MDC about her designs, "You should send it to me,"

"Of course," Jason seems flustered with his proximity, enough so that he didn't see Marion's trap.

"Great heres my number," Marion quickly writes it down on blank piece of paper, a picture seeming a bit too narcissistic at that point.

"...Waut,"

"Well you have to send it to me someway," Marion shrugs, conveniently ignori-forgetting that pictures were sent through his social media all the time.

"Right... right," Jason seems to be in a bit of a daze when Marion sends him off, standing next to Marinette as the fan leaves.

They watch Jason leave. Marinette starts giggling when he almost runs into a wall.

“Are you ok?" Marion asks, partly for the security guard who was waiting for their ok to send the next person up.

“You are such a dork,” She breaths through her upcoming laughter, “I think I need a minute,”

“Fine but if I get a hopeful fashion designer I’m telling them your new direction is crocs,” Marion huffs, not really insulted, but if he didn't act it she would only up the anti.

“Do it and your casket will be made out of crocs,” Marinette threatens ineffectively, walking to the backstage door.

“I kinda want to see that,”

“You’d be dead,” Marinette calls from the door.

“Minor issue,”

Marinette waves him off, which could have been an aborted swat. He watches as the crowd nearby begin whispering, some offering others to go first to stall for time. Marion plans to shove this in her face next time Marinette claims she isn’t popular. He’s about to take a camera out for evidence when one of the groups, fast tracked but the crowd, approaches.

Marion goes to do his more basic greetings when a gun is shoved in his face. The group made up of armed men surrounding him, one holding a camera.

“Smile for the camera,” The figure pulls his coat back, revealing the frankly disturbing face of the Joker.

“Oh it’s you,” Marion keeps a blank face, evidently confusing him, “Any chance two-face will show up?”

“.... No?” Marion fights to keep his composure as the crowd are threatened by the remaining thugs, pushing them to the ground.

“Pity, what a waste of good foreshadowing,” Marion shrugs casually, that camera is probably filming.

“What,” Marion supposes its a rare thing to see the Joker taken aback, but watching a group of armed men storm backstage distracts him from the sight.

“Nothing, I just made a brilliant joke earlier and you're sort of ruining it,” Marion makes exaggerated gestures, testing his limits, the guns follow him but don’t shoot. “Anyway are you here for an autograph or what?”

“I’m not-” He watches the Joker's face twist in gruesome realisation, “you’re trying to stall me,”

“Stall you from what?” Marion tries not to make his scan of the crowd obvious, “Please go in depth,”

“How about on the way up to the roof?” Chilling smile, but Marion is too used to fear to let it get to him.

“Oh goodie, I hear it has wonderful views,” Marion claps his hands, probably getting weird looks from the goons hiding behind masks, but who are they to judge?

He’s guided to the elevator. The Joker making the mistake of not tying his hands, or gagging him. He feels Kaalki and Plagg tense in his pocket.

“Huh, no elevator music,” Marion observes as the elevator starts to rise, “I just kind of expected it at this point,”

“You are strange,” Marion makes the mistake of glancing over, the Joker does not seem perturbed by that fact.

“You’re telling me that?” Marion tilts his head, “Actually that's quite the achievement,”

The Joker starts to go on about his plan, something about throwing MCD off the roof in front of the crowd for whatever reason, he’s not really listening. No, instead he’s made his own plan. There's no way Marinette was caught, not when she has no one to look after. She must be somewhere in the building, probably as Sparrow. It’s best if Sparrow and Songbird are seen near their other identities as little as possible, so he had to deal with the camera. If she saw the footage, which was probably being broadcast (a brilliant idea, really, no problems with that) she would intercept them. The best position would be on the elevator, but he had to buy time.

The cameras closest so he strikes, hitting it out of the goons hand, mid sentence. In the split second confusion he hits the number panel, lighting up all but a few.

“Huh, that was easy,” Marion says with genuine surprise.

“And here I thought you were being a good hostage,” Marion feels several guns press against him, but it’s only the pistol with the Joker at the end that worries him.

“Sorry to disappoint,” Marion smirks cockily, the threats turning more violent.

No, not threats, promises. Marion debates calling on Kaalki, while he’s still able too. It wouldn’t be great for a miraculous to be seen in a different country, but better than the one that can teleport than Ladybug. If Marinette couldn’t stop them in time she would surely turn to Ladybug and pick him up as he falls, right in front of the crowd and cameras. Not great.

There were other heroes in Gotham, they both knew. And if it was just him at stake he would put faith in them. But it’s not. He’s Chat Noir and there's not enough time to train a new Black Cat, not anymore.

The elevator finally reaches the top. Marion braces to help Marinette fight on the other side of the door. It opens. There’s no one. Great, great, great .

“Well, well, well why don’t we see what's behind that mask and carve up your pretty face, hm?” Joker leads him close enough to the edge of the building that anyone else should be scared.

“That sounds counter productive,” Might as well try plan b, he should have come up with one, but as is he’ll have to wing it, “Weren’t you going to throw me off the roof?”

“Eager aren't you?” Not really “After, promise,”

That grin paired with the knife inching closer should scare him, but honestly the only thing that truly scares him anymore is someone going for his ring, or Ladybug’s.

“What's the point? I’d be dead soon anyway, sounds like a waste of time,” Marion debates adding a yawn to match the tone, but it seems like overkill.

“A few screams are never a waste of time,” Marion is backed up further to the edge of the roof, able to see the fretting crowd below.

“Sounds to me like you just don’t have any confidence,” Marion says with all the sass he can muster, which is a lot.

“Oh, do explain,” The knife inching closer to the edge of his mask encourages the opposite, but he was never much good with warnings.

“If you really believe your plan will work and I wouldn’t be saved by I-don’t-know, Batman?” Yep that strikes a cord, probably not the best cord to strike with a knife in your face, oh well his wounds will heal soon anyway, “Then you’d throw me over the roof, a few cuts doesn't matter much when your dead,”

He can see the gears turning, debating if there's merit to his bullshit or if it’s just that. Honestly Marion doesn't know either.

“Revealing my identity and stuff is just a way for you to feel like you’ve won when Batman beats you,” He carefully doesn't emphasise the ‘when’, making it sound casual, like a given fact, “Cutting my face is just admitting you think the heroes will win,”

Just a little bit more. He’s almost pulled off plan ‘b’ for bat-shit crazy. He has the horse miraculous in his grip, Kaalki won’t like it but it's hard to put glasses on in mid air.

“Besides, won’t the mask leave a bit more impact?”

Hook. Line. Sinker.

“You really think the Bats going to save you huh?” The grin is unnerving, so Marion matches it with one of his own.

“I do,” He challenges, chin tilted up, “do you,”

He hears a cackle that would have surely appeared in his fear toxin dream if he heard it before. He’s pushed, vest twisted in the jokers grip, trying to stay balanced on the very edge.

“I like you kid,” And yeah, by that smile it’s not a good thing.

“Goodie,” Marion says sardonically, ignoring the shouting below, probably because his torso is all the way off the edge.

“Make sure to scream,” He feels the grip loosen, not having the natural response to grab onto something.

“I won’t,” he sends one last smirk as he’s dropped, weight sending him off balance and off the edge.

He’s in free fall and knows the screaming is not his own. He’s too busy debating the right time to transform. The street is getting closer and closer, no staff or grappling hook to save him.

“Klakki!-”

The air gets knocked out of him at the sudden change in directions. He can feel the arm and hears the glass shattering. For all the speed of a few seconds ago he is not expecting the quiet that follows. He’s leaning forward against someone's chest, both crouched down inside the building he just fell from. He recognises the shade of red first, Marinette had spent weeks with it pinned up all over their room and Marion has been wearing it ever since. He relaxes.

“Are you ok?” He gets pulled back from the chest, his complaints are cut off, a gloved hand tracing over his cheek, he feels the sting so it must be cut.

“Yeah I’m fine,” Probably not convincing, since his crush is the closest he’s ever been and Marion is almost the same shade of red.

“You’re fine?” The disbelief is clear and it takes Marion a second to realise why.

“I mean… Oh no! Trauma!” Marion tries to fall dramatically but the arm still on his back catches him.

“Good thing you’re a popstar not an actor,” Marion feels relief at the stiff atmosphere relaxing.

“Excuse you,” He snaps back up, poking Red Hood’s chest, smirking, “I’d make a wonderful actor,”

“Yeah, yeah,” Red Hood looks away, as far as Marion can tell with the helmet, “You sure you’re ok?”

“Yes, are you?” Marion stresses, remembering that he broke through the glass.

“... what?” Red Hood's full attention comes back to him.

“Are you ok?” Marion tries not to get annoyed at the answer, humour then, “After all breaking through a window isn’t much fun,”

You idiot you can't use his line on him ! Not in different identities! What if he figures it out?!

“Yeah.. yeah," He looks away again, "I’m… great,”

Marion smiles, guess things did turn out great in the end.

“CD!” Marion jumps out his skin, both suddenly realising how they looked and stand, Marinette runs right up to him, “Are you ok!?”

“Yep I’m… great,” Marion exchanges a private glance with Red Hood as Marinette frets over him.

“Thank goodness,” She sighs, shoulders sagging, then coming back up to hit him over the head, “Then why are you such an idiot!”

“Natural talent?” Marion rubs the spot, she put some Ladybug strength in that one.

“At least you’re good at something,” She sighs, brushing her hand over the spot.

“Rude,” Marion pouts, even as his head feels better, and his cut is startling to close up.

“If every things ok then,” Red Hood says awkwardly, “I’ve got a clown to go beat up,”

I Forgot!! How do you forget that! Marion yells at himself When your crush saves you from falling to your death…. Less romantic than it seemed in the moment.

“Have fun….” Marion waves, increasing the awkwardness ten fold, “dear god, I am an idiot!”

He groans into Marinette's shoulder after Red Hood left.

“Yes, but blush later, we need to be ready to provide backup,” Marinette pulls him out of the room stepping over broken glass.

“Uh- yeah! Right! lets go,” Marion snaps out of it, running after her.

“You are such a mess,” She insults as they jog, or with their speed, sprint up the stairs.

“Of all people you don’t get to call me that,” Marion needn't remind her of how she spilt orange juice all over herself at breakfast.

“... You just fell off a building, I was talking about your clothes,” Marinette has on her, ‘you’re an idiot’ face, well practiced that one.

“Oh,”

“But yeah you are a walking disaster,” She speeds up.

“Hey!” Marion sprints after her.

They reach the roof, not as out of breath as they should be.

“I thought I told you to stay put?” Red Hood snaps, alone on the roof.

“You didn’t,” They chorus coincidentally.

“I thought you had common sense,”

“We don’t,” They chorus on purpose.

Red Hood just shakes his head, probably smiling under the helmet.

“So the Joker escaped?” Marinette is the first to wipe the grin off her face.

“He was gone when I got up here,” Red Hood shrugs, “Waiting on intel,”

Probably from oracle.

“I didn’t say thank you!” Marion realises, not used to being the one saved.

“You don’t have to,” He looks away again, “Just doing my job,”

“But I want to,” Marion walks into his line of sight “So thank you,”

“Yeah well… thanks too I guess,” He looks away again and it's starting to get annoying.

“For what,” Marion leans over enough that he should be in sight, but he can't see his eye to confirm.

“I like the outfit you designed off me,” Marion freezes, almost stumbling over, “The interview was… entertaining,”

With that killing blow, a grappling hook is sent out and Red Hook is whisked away.

“.... Hey, can I borrow your miraculous?” Marion says blankly when Marinette comes to stand by him, “I need to wish myself out of existence real quick,”

----------------

Taglist:

@technicallyburninggarden @fusser90 @misslenamooney @superbwhispersconnoisseur @biodad-bruce-month @nalu-ismyjam

#miraculous #miraculous ladybug #miraculous ladybug fic #bio dad bruce wayne #Bio Dad Bruce Wayne Month 2020 #Mismatch #Marinette #marinette is mdc #twins au #vigilante au #pop star au #bio dad au #bio! dadbrucewaynemonth2020 #b!dbwm2020 #Maribat #mlb

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haldenlith · 2 years

Photo

While I’m not done with the full body picture of Tannivh, I got enough done to do a little crop for a new sheet, so I can force myself to at least try and use some of those design skills that are being just... left to languish.

Also, I love how Libre Baskerville and Cromwell look together. (/Font nerd)

Anyway, I’m also going to take this time to do what I do best and ramble about characters. (Beware, it’s some long rambling.)

Expanding on some things: Tannivh’s home village is remote enough that his particular group of wood elves are borderline “wild” elves. They won’t attack you if you wander into their swamp, they’ll probably even help you through it. However, they will be very clear that they’re helping you not out of the kindness of their heart, but to get you out of their swamp as fast as possible. Thanks to this, Tannivh’s world view is a little sheltered, and perhaps a little weird. He’s not quite naive, though, as the swamp definitely held many deadly horrors that quickly dispenses of any innocence those elves would have. Rather he’s... simple. While he understands basic manners and pleasantries, further fluff and flair seem pointless to him. Luxuries, wealth, and fame are all lost on him, though that’s not to say he doesn’t understand fineries, he just doesn’t value them, personally.

He’s also very much a man of action and not words, being a very quiet guy. Tannivh’s not quite stoic, but he is quiet-natured, preferring to observe and listen in conversations. It’s also because he’s well aware that he is not gifted with a skilled tongue, thus he keeps his mouth shut in order to not make a fool of himself. In spite of his own conversational shortcomings, he’s incredibly perceptive. It’s pretty hard to lie to him, as he’s usually quick to pick up on any body language or small tells that would suggest a certain... twisting of words.

Which is why he’s well aware of both Astarion and Shadowheart’s attempts at deception. The difference with his response to Astarion, though, as opposed to Shadowheart, is that Astarion (whether consciously or not) seems to be pulling the “hiding in plain sight” sort of trick. Meanwhile, Shadowheart holds everything very obviously close to her chest, and gets incredibly combative when pressed. If you’re going to be travelling with Tannivh, he wants to know something about you, enough to know that he can trust you when his back is turned.

It’s funny, honestly, because I suspect Nivh and Shadowheart will get along at some point in the full campaign. In early access, though, every playthrough I’ve had with Tannivh, he couldn’t get along with Shadowheart, at least outside of the first encounter on the ship and the beach. So, in these early goings of the party’s story, Nivh only keeps her around for her utility to the group, and because there is a small part of him that feels it’s “the right thing to do.” That part of him gets smaller every time she makes a snide comment or snaps at him.

(That is also why Lae’zel isn’t in the party -- he leaves her to the Tieflings. You don’t order Tannivh around, and you don’t call him a coward.)

Despite not really being book smart (though he very much can read), he does enjoy learning things, even if he can’t necessarily use the information. For that reason, he does enjoy Gale’s company. The wizard satisfies Tannivh’s curiosity without belittling him for not knowing. It certainly helps that Gale also is curious about Tannivh’s own knowledge, gleaned from his life amidst the wild and woods. Gale’s knowledge of flora and fauna will certainly get a boost being around Nivh. They also tend to swap recipes around dinner time, as Nivh is also a great source of “wilderness” cooking recipes. The two have probably bonded over the many ways you can eat deer.

On a separate note, of nicknames: Tannivh will only tolerate his name being shortened to “Nivh.” Call him “Tan” or any variation of that, and he will pointedly ignore you. He’s okay with silly pet names, though, like “Nature boy.”

On the note of Cheza: She is his bonded “beast companion��, and goes where he goes. He acquired her back home, and as such she is essentially like family to him, having been with him this entire time. She’s a bit odd in her view of Tannivh, seeing him less as a companion and more like one of her brood, frequently referring to him as “my child” (at least, if you have Speak with Animals). She’s incredibly protective of Tannivh, often standing guard when he’s resting. To that end, Astarion’s pretty damn lucky she actually stepped away to find something to eat, or he would’ve found her fangs in him as opposed to his fangs in Tannivh.

Cheza does not approve of Nivh keeping Astarion around, as she sees him as both dangerous, and useless. “Pale thing is dead, pale thing tried to harm child. Leave it behind. It is not even a good meal.” She respects her “son’s” choices, however, and simply keeps to watching Astarion. He will not get to sneak up on her child a second time.

When Cheza’s not “out” (ie unsummoned), she appears as a spider tattoo crawling amidst the myriad vines and leaves tattooed onto Tannivh’s right arm. (Nivh has a full sleeve of just vines, leaves, and flowers.) Of course, not that anyone can see this detail, as he’s usually covered neck to toe.

Further background: Tannivh was initially tapped to be the replacement to his mother as one of the village elders after his older brother decided to leave. Alas, he didn’t follow in his brother’s footsteps in becoming a druid, nor did he desire to remain in the village. In spite of this, he did receive some tutelage from his mother (the head druid at the village), in her stubborn attempt to at least impress something onto him. The task of being the next in line ultimately ended up falling to his younger sister, who remains in the village to this day.

In his village, there is a unique “coming of age” ritual in which the “adolescent” is taken to an open arena of sorts, with an artificial cliff for the elders to watch from. They are sent out with a single weapon and the clothes on their back into the swamp water, expected to either befriend or defeat whatever comes to greet them, adhering to the village philosophy of “adapt or perish.” (Of note, there are exceptions made, but given that it’s a point of pride and tradition, young elves of the village are usually pretty stubborn about completing it.) In Tannivh’s case, he had to defeat what came to him, as it was a larger than usual serpent (basically an extra-giant, head the size of a damn basketball cottonmouth) that saw him as dinner. He has scars from the encounter in the form of two large puncture wounds near his collar bone, on his chest, from the snake’s fangs, and a network of scar tissue radiating out from the subsequent poison. (The poison caused necrosis, so hello necrotic scarring.)

I imagine Astarion’s joked that clearly Tannivh makes it a habit of letting things sink their fangs into him. (Or, another joking bit, would be that something got to sink their teeth into Tannivh before he did.)

I think I’ll just stop there and ramble more when I post the full finished picture.

#haldie draws #not entirely art stuff but putting it under my art tag anyway #OC: Tannivh #BG3 MC #character sheet #but with a lot of extra flair

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beauvibaby · 4 years

Text

show you how to be loved - j.benn

requested: [x] yes [] no (you guys asked for him)

a/n: I’ve never written for Jamie Benn, I am absolutely so nervous about this. I have zero clue as to why but the idea hit me, so here it is.

Warnings: toxic relationship, some heavy cursing in the beginning

“You’re fucking serious right now?” Your boyfriend, soon to be ex, shouted at you, watching as you shoved as many of your clothes as you could into a duffel bag. “Of course I’m serious! You came home with a hickey, that I definitely did not put there! I’m done, I can’t,” you paused, taking a shaky breath as you zipped up the bag, “I can’t let you treat me like this anymore, you’ve made me truly believe I was the bad one in this relationship, I lost my friends for you.” You couldn’t speak any longer as a sob tore through you, and had he been anywhere near decent he would have at least apologized but all he did was grab your wrist as you walked out, yanking you to face him one last time. “I never want to see you again, you were only good for a quick fuck.” He hissed, you always told yourself not to believe him, but his words were burned into your brain as you stormed out of the house, your fingers working quick on your phone before you could think otherwise.

You slammed your car door shut as you put in the address you hadn’t been to in so long, too long. You knew how to get there like the back of your hand, but with your emotions running high, you wanted the reassurance from the gps on your phone. Please, let him be there, please.

Rounding the corner onto his street you suddenly felt like an idiot, your stomach twisting in a knot, you hadn’t seen him in months, barely spoken to him in weeks, because your ex didn’t like him. “It’s weird, you're twenty five, he’s thirty one, why does he hang out around you?” The words rang through your head, over and over as you sat parked in front of his house, the lights were on, he was there, and then another worry hit you. What if he wasn’t alone, what if he had a girl there? The thought made you let out another cry, your eyes still red and puffy from the cries you had let out on the way here. You pushed everything aside, you’ve known Jamie for years, he’d been a family friend, and then when you moved to Dallas, you reconnected, it was nice. “Fuck it.” You whispered, swinging the car door open, you rubbed your sweaty palms on your leggings as you approached the front door. Your hand lifted to the doorbell, hovering for a moment, finally you pushed it, hearing the noise ring through the house. You paced on the front steps, had you just made a huge mistake? He probably didn’t even want to see you. “Y/N?” Jamie questioned, opening the door slowly. “What are you doing here?” He asked, stepping out closer to you, he watched with furrowed brows as you turned to face him, the porch light showing the tears scattered on your cheeks. “Hey, hey, what happened?” He took two big steps to you, grabbing you carefully by the shoulders, looking you over for any physical injuries. “He-he-uhm, we broke up.” You squeaked out, shamefully, “I don’t know why I came here, I’m sorry, I’ll go.” You rushed, feeling your cheeks heat up. “No, you’re staying, I’m not letting you drive like this.” He demanded softly, pulling you in for a hug. You hesitated, like you had been conditioned, not to hug any guys that weren’t related to you, Jamie didn’t say anything, he released you, guiding you into the house. When you entered the house, you quickly wiped at your face while he turned to shut the door. “Y/N,” he gasped, you looked up at him in confusion but that turned to a frown when his fingers delicately grabbed your wrist, slightly discolored marks there from the grip your ex had taken on it. “Did he do this?” Jamie asked, his tone hard but his eyes soft, you bit your lip as you looked up at him, your eyes telling him everything he needed to know. You reached your hand up to play with your necklace, something you always did when you were nervous, panic ran through you, it wasn’t there, it wasn’t-oh god, you forgot to put it on after your shower, and now you left it there. “What’s wrong?” Jamie asked, eyes looking down to your hand running over the base of your neck. “My necklace, my grandma’s necklace, I left it there, I need to go get it, I-” “Hey, calm down.” He cut you off, grabbing your hands, only then did you realize how close you were. “I’ll go get it, you’re not going to be back there with him.” He started rubbing circles into your hands as he spoke, “Jamie.” You sighed, shaking your head, that was a disaster waiting to happen. “No. Y/N, I’m not letting you go back there with him, just tell me where it is, and I’ll go get it. Let me do this.” He left no room for negotiation. “It’s in the purple jewelry box, the second drawer in the bathroom.” You whispered, pulling your hands from his, he hesitated for a moment, hands cupping your cheeks as he left a short kiss on your forehead. You ignored the way it made your heart flutter, “thank you.” You whispered as he grabbed his keys, “I’ll be back soon, just make yourself at home.” He spoke quickly, disappearing out the door before you could say anything else.

You jumped up when you heard the door open, you had fallen asleep on the couch, the TV playing softly in the background. “Jamie?” You called, his head popped around the corner, “I thought you were sleeping.” He mumbled sheepishly, walking around the corner, your eyes scanned over him, landing on the bag in his hand, and also spotting the jewelry box. “I got the rest of your things, he was trying to throw them out.” Jamie rolled his eyes, but you didn’t miss the small wince from his action, you stood up, making your way over to him, “Jamie.” You sighed, gasping softly when you saw a small cut on the top of his cheek. That was most definitely not there when he left. “I’m sorry.” You added, running your fingers just underneath the mark. “It’s fine, it’s nothing compared to what I’m used to.” He assured you, both of you staring at each other. “You can stay, as long as you need, I have some away games coming up, you could think of it as house sitting.” He eased your nerves, you didn’t want to impose, and he knew that. Even though you could never impose on him, but you didn’t know that.

***

That was two months ago, and you were still here, but it was different, the two of you had gotten closer than ever, but still nothing had happened, you could tell it was there, for both of you, but both of you were too scared to make a move. You skimmed over the comments on your instagram post, cringing at the level of people making snide comments about your looks, you were sandwiched in between Jamie and Tyler in the photo, the three of you with wide, slightly drunk smiles. It was a great night, you’d gotten close to a lot of Jamie’s friends, and their significant others, Jamie brought you along everywhere, and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t like it, any time you got to spend with Jamie, made your heart skip a beat. Yet, all because of people you didn’t know, pointing out all the little things, just like your ex had done, it made you fall back into that self doubt. “Y/N, did you want to watch-oh shit, sorry.” Jamie spun on his heels, hand shooting to his eyes, you rushed to grab your pajamas, you were about to change but the comments made you stand in front of the mirror, nitpicking yourself. The way your stomach stuck out just a bit more than most, the way your thighs rubbed together, the slight roundess in your cheeks, it never used to bother you, but now it was all you could think about. “I’m dressed.” you whispered, smoothing the shirt over your body, shorts covered your hips. He turned back to face you, seeing the way you shifted uncomfortably, he didn’t say anything about it. “I was coming to ask if you wanted to watch a movie?” He spoke, rubbing the back of his neck, attempting to hide the way his face blushed as he looked at you. “Yeah, sure.” You whispered, walking past him, and towards the living room.

You were watching the screen but yet you were oblivious to what was happening, Jamie was chuckling every once in a while, forcing his mind to take in the movie. “Seriously, what is so interesting on your phone?” He sighed, not even bothering to pause the movie as he tried to peek at your phone, you locked it instantly. “Nothing.” You grumbled, shooting him a glare, that he definitely didn’t deserve. “It’s bothering you whatever it is, why don’t you talk to me.” He questioned, sliding closer to you, he watched you unlock your phone, handing it to him on your instagram comments. You sheepishly looked away, biting the tip of your thumb to distract yourself. Jamie sat forward, elbows resting on his knees as he read the comments.

Shouldn’t wear a crop top with a pudgy stomach

Trying a little too hard

She must be a good hookup if they’re hanging with her

Those being the most popular options. “Y/N-” “What? It’s true, I look terrible in that picture, I shouldn’t be spending so much time with you anyways, you need to be doing whatever you want, not lugging me around.” You ranted, eyes flickering between his and your phone, you took the phone back and hit a few buttons, deleting the picture as Jamie protested all your words. “Please don’t say that about yourself. Please don’t believe that. You’re so much more than that. You’re so… god, you’re so amazing.” He spoke so softly, you almost didn’t hear him. He moved to be kneeling before you, “what?” Your eyes went wide, looking him over, he placed his hands on your thighs, he closed his eyes for a moment, “you’re amazing, those people are just jealous.” He spoke a little louder, your lips curling up softly. “What?” You asked again, not believing him. “You’re serious?” You added, watching as he went wide eyed, “of course, I’m serious.” He answered instantly. “You deserve the world, and then some, I was so blind to never realize how much you meant to me until now. God, when I saw you outside my house, crying, that night, it killed me. The fact that anyone could make you feel that unloved, it’s so messed up.” He looked up at you with those eyes, those damn eyes that showed every emotion. “But I’m-” “What? There’s nothing about you that would make me want you any less.” He cut you off, you shook your head, playing with the necklace around your neck. “Jamie, I think this,” you motioned between him and you, “this is more serious for me than it is for you, I don’t think I can do this, I’m not the girl you see me as, I’m insecure, and broken, and I don’t know how to feel loved.” You whispered, letting your eyes shut as a tear slipped out, “I mean for god sakes, you just walked in on me shaming myself in a mirror, you don’t need to put up with that, it’s embarrassing.” You snapped, not daring to look at him as he stayed silent.

He reached up, gently using your chin to turn your face towards him. “It’s not putting up with that, it’s showing you how you should’ve been treated all along, you’re beautiful, and the fact that you don’t see it, is just mind blowing. I want to be here for you when you feel like that, I want to be the shoulder you cry on, I want to be the guy who’s showing you how to be loved.” He explained, moving closer as he spoke, “let me be that guy, please, Y/N. I love you.” He was all but touching your lips with his, you nodded, closing the gap. You were so utterly in love with the man in front of you for so long, that you didn’t even realize what you were missing out on. “I love you too, Jamie.” His grin showed throughout his whole face, his eyes lighting up as he stared at you. “We have to take it slow, please.” You mumbled, he agreed in an instant. “Whatever you need.” He pulled you in for another kiss before climbing back up onto the couch, except this time, you leaned against him, feeling your worries melt away. So this is what it’s like to be loved.

taglist: @softstarkey @mtkachuk @thathockeygirl @literarycharleton @wtfkie

#imagine #imagines #jamie benn #jamie benn imagine #jamie benn fic #dallas stars #dallas stars writing

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sevenkittensinatrenchcoat · 3 years

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1998 Film Mungojerrie Rewatch Part 3

I’ve had the pictures saved for this for almost a week now, but if you’ve followed the other recent posts on this blog, you can see that I’ve gotten very sidetracked. I’ll probably continue to get sidetracked a lot, but the rewatches will continue.

Now, it’s time once again for The Awful Battle of the Pekes and the Pollicles and The Rest of the Absurdly Long Full Title Rumpus Cat!

But, the twins skipped rehearsals and Jerrie is about to reach peak Doesn’t Know What’s Going On. While Rumpleteazer seems to be able to awkwardly improvise through it with cues from Munkustrap, her brother, with the smaller half of the braincell, is hopelessly lost the entire time.

As everyone gets into place, Jerrie talks to Jemima, asking what’s going on now. She can’t help him now, since there’s no time to explain. He’ll just have to go to stage right and try his best.

And that’s who Mungojerrie ended up with a shoe on his head, boxes on his paws, an no time to change out of his crop top before it got covered in even more garbage, with absolutely no idea why any of this is happening. Jerrie’s probably had weirder nights out than this, but at least he thought he did something cool in all those stories.

We’ve already gone over the routine of Jerrie messing up his barks, but, not only did Munkustrap point to each twin when it was their turn, not only did Teazer also start pointing to help Jerrie out when he messed up, Jerrie points to Teazer on her first turn, demonstrating some comprehension of how this is supposed to work. And he still doesn’t get it.

He barks twice again, despite everyone, himself included, being aware that this wasn’t right.

Munkustrap can’t figure out if Jerrie’s doing it on purpose or if he’s just that stupid. Really, it could be either one. If he is doing this to troll, Teazer wasn’t in on it and is ashamed to have been involved at all.

Munkustrap suggests that Jerrie should just forget it and go get in line with the other toms. There’s no line forming at the moment, so Jerrie still doesn’t get it and conditions are not about to improve. Teazer laments her existence.

While Munkustrap prays to every possible feline deity for strength, Jerrie decides to let Pouncival go ahead of him in the line. He assumes that Pouncival was at the rehearsals and knows what they’re supposed to do, so he’ll just follow him. As a kitten, with parents that would care if he skipped rehearsals, Pouncival probably did attend them. He just really wasn’t paying attention. He also never realized that his costume didn’t quite fit and he couldn’t see out of his shoebox. But, Pouncival always likes to be the first to show up to everything, so he’s the one who volunteered to take the lead. You can see Responsible Adults in the line. Asparagus knows what he’s doing. Even Alonzo or Coricopat probably know, but Pouncival went first in rehearsals because Mungojerrie wasn’t there, so they’re used to it by now.

After a lot of nearly crashing into things and going the wrong way, Munkustrap decides that Pouncival needs to be stopped. Jerrie Doesn’t Know What’s Going On. Why are they stopping? How was he supposed to know that Pouncival was leading them the wrong way? Why can’t they just keep going?

After that fiasco, Asparagus gives Jerrie a talking-to. Jerrie wonders why he’s in more trouble than Pouncival is. All of this is very hard to see because the Scottish Pollicles are hard to ignore. Skimble’s a cat who cannot be ignored by his admission and the camera thinks Misto’s the main character.

Enter Tugger on the bagpipes. Jerrie Doesn’t Know What’s Going On. But, this time, nobody does, except for Tugger himself and Pouncival who was in on it. It’s why he didn’t pay attention during rehearsals. He was starstruck that Tugger wanted to conspire with him of all people.

When everyone gets caught up barking, Jerrie Doesn’t Know What’s Going On, so he’s the only one who’s actually behaving himself. That literally never happens, so the idea that he’s become the well-behaved one probably sends him spiraling into an existential crisis.

Coricopat and Jerrie, apparently independently of one another, because they’re looking opposite directions, both decide that since Doggo Go Pant they should have their tonbues out like panting dogs.

And as everyone cowers in fear of the Great Rumpus Cat, Jerrie Doesn’t Know What’s Going On and just points.

Everything I have to say about Jerrie during the Song of the Jellicles basically applies to Teazer as well. But, the two eventually separate and while Teazer stays up front with the her queen friends, Jerrie wanders off and ends up hanging out with Tantomile. It’s really hard to tell Coricopat and Tantomile appear from a distance, but I’m pretty sure it’s her, because throughout the first part of the Jellicle Ball, Jerrie and Tantomile are consistently right next to each other.

You can see that when everyone gathers together to watch a plane go by and then hiss at the camera, Mungojerrie is between Teazer and Tantomile, because she was who he was standing closest to when they flocked together.

You might be wondering why I keep pointing this out, because two character happening to be standing next to one another for a while doesn’t really mean anything, but I think that this might’ve been supposed to mean something and I’ll explain why.

So, we have this Big Sexy Dance where the younger adult queens (and Etcetera) dance and Tugger leads a group of toms to join them. Jerrie is not one of those toms. He spends the scene sitting on the car, watching from a distance. Jenny’s there too, so I guess he’s taking time to say hi to his mom. What a nice young man!

Skimbledad comes along to join the family as the toms and queens pair off. Alonzo dances with Etcetera and George with Cassandra, though they switch partners for the Can’t Believe It’s a Mating Dance. Since Alonzo and Cassandra already appear to be a thing, I don’t know why they didn’t do this before. Etcetera isn’t supposed to be here and Alonzo just decides that since this dance is already becoming an inappropriate disaster, he might as well make a contribution.

Tugger is with Bomba, which is to be expected. They’re basically Friends With Benefits. Plato and Demeter is a bit random, but since Victoria’s not an option Plato has to go with someone else. Why her and not Tantomile? I mean, that’s left poor Coricopat dancing with his sister while most of the other guys are getting to sexy dance with women they’re not related to.

Well, I think this is because, for whatever reason, whether in-universe or out, Coricopat wasn’t actually supposed to be part of this dance at all. Mungojerrie was. If he’d been cozying up to Tantomile before, he’d obviously pair off with her, leaving Plato and Demeter as the only two left.

Tugger leads a group of toms in another dance later, and it’s all the same toms that he leads here: George, Plato, and Alonzo. But, Coricopat is swapped out for Mungojerrie. What if Mungojerrie was supposed to be one of Tugger’s Boys in both dances? Putting him close to Tantomile earlier in the ball would build up to that and since this particular dance is a bit more sexualized than some of the other dances, having two siblings together wouldn’t have fit the pattern.

During the whole Jellicle Ball, Mungojerrie ends up in the back of the crowd quite a bit with Rumpleteazer is usually right up front, on of the more featured dancers. Since we’ve already seen Jerrie and Teazer’s number, they’re equally skilled dancers, so it’s not like they were trying to hide Drew Varley because he wasn’t good enough. But, combined with his absence from Tugger’s number, I think something was going on there. Varley was playing Mungojerrie on stage during this time, so maybe he was getting tired out from doing the show at night and they decided to lighten the load for him during the filming, but he wasn’t the only one in this situation. Jo Gibb, who played Rumpleteazer was in the exact same situation. This whole thing might just be a bunch of really weird coincidences, for all I know. I don’t doubt the qualifications of anyone involved, but this is odd.

So, pretty that Jerrie dances with Tantomile instead of Coricopat. It makes more sense that way.

Mungojerrie’s back for the ballet, but ballet’s not his style, so He Doesn’t Know What’s Going On. Teazer, on the other hand, appears to be hard at work to impress Victoria, the Ballet Queen of the Jellicles.

Okay, Not Mating Dance Time. All pairs of twin siblings end up together for this bit. Coricopat and Tantomile sit next to each other and stare out into space. Meanwhile, Rumpleteazer is really into watching the Platoria action while Mungojerrie is pretty much already asleep, only looking up occasionally. Both Plato and Jerrie are in the club of Tugger’s Boys and both Victoria and Teazer are part of the Hormonal Trio, so they’re both watching their friends hook up here, which has to an interesting experience.

This bit should’ve been in the Teazer rewatch, but I didn’t catch it until later. When everyone falls asleep in the Cuddle Pile, Tugger wraps his arm around a nearby leg. The lighting at this angle made it hard to see whose leg it was, so I, because I have no life, went frame by frame through this portion of the Jellicle Ball and watched the Cuddle Pile form to see where limbs were ending up. I took a bunch of screenshots of everyone’s journey from pairing off to the Cuddle Pile, because why not do that while I was there. But, I eventually figured out that The Leg is Rumpleteazer’s. She tried to cozy up to Tugger when everyone was pairing off and he appeared to turn her down, but I guess he’s humoring her a bit by cuddling with her in the Cuddle Pile.

Jerrie doesn’t acknowledge Grizabella at all, so I’ll just end on this picture of Tugger’s Boys because of my previous claims. George is hiding, but Coricopat and Jerrie definitely swapped out.

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barbasbodaciousbeard · 3 years

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IF You Love Someone, Let Them Go: Part 5

Summary: Since starting with SVU, Sonny hadn’t kept much terribly close to the chest. The squad knew about his family, growing up on Staten Island, the classes at Fordam. What was hidden was why he didn’t date. Sonny Carisi was also separated from his childhood sweetheart, a separation neither ever took to divorce. They had the same haunts. They’d grown up neighbors. Their paths crossed every few months, and divorce talks would turn into reminiscing would turn into a night spent together, sometimes sex sometimes just talking until the early morning. It always ended with one of them waking up alone however. How will that change when the squad finds out?

Pairings: Sonny Carisi x Original Character,

1 - 2 - 3 - 4

March 2015

“You’ll see me two times in three weeks,” Victoria smiled, wine in hand as she settled in the seat beside Sonny. It was Tommy and Bella’s engagement party, which Gianni was treating as a bridal shower. The whole engagement would only have been three months, and it seemed the two younger Carisis had cost her the months of parties and planning Gina and Teresa had given her. At least Sonny and Victoria had gotten married in a church a year after they eloped. Tommy and Bella would be getting married outdoors, while she was pregnant. Everyone pretended not to notice the slightest bit of a bump, easily confused for weight gain if you didn’t know, when Gianna was around before fussing over Bella the minute she left.

“I’m a lucky bastard.”

“I hope you told your squad.”

“We’re all going out the Saturday before. I’m doing it then.”

“Really pushed it off, huh?” she asked, and he didn’t like the hurt she was trying to hide.

“The cases got heavy during the holidays. And then we busted up a sex ring and I was undercover. That also felt like a weird time. I kinda realized there wasn’t going to be a good one.”

“Yeah. Tommy and Bella inviting them kinda twisted your arm, huh?”

“Yeah. But it’s good. The last step.”

“They all coming?”

“Olivia for sure. I think Rollins and Amaro are coming together, and then honestly? Barba will when he finds out there’s gossip. He’s kind of a dick, but an amazing attorney. I really wanna shadow him sometime, but I’m too green to ask, y’know?”

“Yeah. I’m sure it’ll be nice when the time comes. And I think it’ll make Bella and Tommy happy. If it weren’t for them, it coulda been bad.”

“I got brother brain instead of cop brain, so yeah. I still can’t believe she’s having a baby.”

“It’s wild. And I know you don’t like Tommy, but he’s got a good heart.”

“And got locked up.”

“Everyone has their own problems.”

“Yeah,” he muttered. “Same deal as Gina’s wedding? No marriage problems talk. Just have fun and be sentimental.”

“Deal. Though if your squad asks, I’m not ignoring it.”

“Fair. But also tell the cute stories.”

“I’ll bring the photo albums.” He laughed, arm settled around her shoulders. When they’d moved out, she’d taken to collecting all the pictures of them and adding them to a photo album. She’d gotten copies of dozens of pictures from his mom, who had always kept them organized by year in boxes. When she left, Victoria took them, and he missed being able to thumb through the pages. There were multiple volumes at this point. The pages got harder to find. She didn’t scrapbook. Instead, she used the pages with four slots each, keeping them up as time went on. He wouldn’t be surprised if there were pictures from Gina’s wedding in the most recent. Maybe there were even pictures of them separate from each other to bridge the gap.

“Please don’t give Rollins and Barba that ammo. They’ll steal the really bad ones.”

“I like the ones from prom the best. Could we look any more 2004?”

“We looked damn good.”

“Doesn’t mean it’s not super dated.”

“True. It’s okay. We got the pictures from Gina’s wedding. We don’t look like we’re separated in them.”

“True. You got the dimples on full display.”

“I seen the dresses Bella picked. I know you hate it. You won’t like this one so much.”

“I love it.” He raised a brow at the feigned enthusiasm. “Dom, that pink is gonna be so bad on a pale red head.”

“I like you in pink.”

“You like me in anything.”

“Because you look good in anything. Dark green’s my favorite though.”

“Mine too. Thank God for Gina. I’ll wear that dress again.”

“I’m sure I’ll have to go to some fundraising thing…”

“You asking me to be your date before you even know?”

“You’re always who I ask to be my date.”

“I better be. We’re married.”

“Gettin’ awful territorial, Mrs. Carisi.”

“You put your ring on your hand today.”

“And you put them both on the right finger.”

“It’s almost like we’re making progress.”

“I want to tell you. I’m ready. But not until after the wedding.”

“Why then?”

“In case you don’t look at me all happy anymore.”

“Literally nothing you could tell me could make me not want to work on it. Unless you cheated on me.”

“You’re the first, last, and only.”

“You are too.”

“We oughta stop being sappy. People are coming and we got put with people we don’t know.”

“Gross. It’s like ma is mad at me.”

“I’m just glad she knew better than to try and make us sit apart. I’m sittin’ with my wife.”

“You two aren’t even pretending to be awkward,” Bella teased, leaning to hug Victoria and then her brother. “This nonsense almost over?”

“Butt out,” Sonny warned, but he was still smiling. “Strictly married talk.”

“Two weeks and ya can’t use that excuse.”

“Then it’ll be strictly talks with my wife.”

“Stop, Dom,” Victoria laughed. “You look beautiful, Bella. How you feeling?”

“Kid’s making me tired as hell. I’m excited though. Tommy talks to her every night. It’s been hard, after what that bitch did. But he’s doing so good.”

“I can tell. I’m just glad you’re so happy.”

“I really am, T.”

“You look beautiful. I like this dress a lot.”

“Thanks. I like feeling all bridal.” Sonny was content to watch Bella and Victoria catch up. Over the last year, he’d come to realize every time they talked came around to when Victoria was taking him back. He probably hadn’t helped that any, constantly acting like he didn’t know why she’d gone. Thanksgiving had changed that. He stood up to his mom more, told her he was in therapy, and openly defended Victoria. The last part wasn’t new, but this time it was specific to her decision to leave. He’d told his family in no uncertain terms that, while he thought she should’ve told him earlier instead of letting the hurt fester, he had done something wrong and he was trying to fix that so they could start over. His mom and dad didn’t like that. Generationally, bottling up feelings was more acceptable to them. His sisters, on the other hand, hugged him tight and told him they were proud of him.

Their table filled up quickly as guests arrived, and Sonny was happy to help Victoria keep conversation moving until his parents spoke. That was the plan for tonight. Appetizers, speeches from the bride and groom’s parents, dinner, dessert, and finally dancing and cocktails. It was quickly apparent all the family’s required-but-barely-liked invites went to the table they’d put Victoria and Sonny at, a sure sign Gianna was over dealing with their drama. He was thankful his sister wouldn’t be having assigned seating at the reception for anyone, the bridal party included, though the thought of having Victoria joining his squad at a table made him nervous.

“I thought they’d never go dance,” she said softly against his ear, and Sonny smiled more from the closeness than the sentiment. Damn, it felt good to have her on his team. She wasn’t there day in and out, so these events felt more valuable to him now.

“Right? He’s from dad’s work. Known each other forever. I don’t know why the hell they invited him.” Her hair tickled his cheek as they gossiped, watching the people around the room and nursing their drinks. He decided they didn’t have a heavy case, so he’d tell the squad the next day, that way the giddiness of the evening would still be fresh. When they’d both finished their drinks, he took her hand, pulling her towards the floor.

“I was comfy,” she protested half heartedly before she realized he’d pulled her up for Sinatra. One hand on his shoulder and the other in his, she let him lead the few moves they’d learned in a ballroom class they’d taken. It had only been a couple years into their marriage, and they took it because it made them feel older and less like imposters. Now, all either could really remember was a boxstep, and their frame was terrible. That didn’t matter though. What did matter was Sonny resting his temple against hers to sing softly against her ear. When one swing tune melted into another, she was grateful Gianna had picked the music for this wedding event.

“Looks like we get to dance all slow again,” he teased, giving her a spin before holding her close.

“For someone getting mad when we get along, your ma worked real hard for us to get along.”

“She’s just mad it isn’t like when we were kids. If we fought in middle school, she’d give us a pizza, and we’d be over it.”

“Very true,” she grinned, looking up at him. He looked handsome, and after what came out to two years of seeing him deteriorate, she was grateful he was actually getting back to himself. She wasn’t sure if therapy, the job, or the slow progress they were making was the reason, but he was her Sonny again. He kept his hair cropped, face shaved, and smile present.

“You’re staring,” he teased before tightening his grip to dip her.

“You look good. Like not just handsome. Happy.”

“Thanks,” he smiled softly when he pulled her up again. “I’m learning to process stuff better.”

“That’s good.”

“It sounds messed up, but thank you for leaving. It made me go to therapy. I really wasn’t being good to you, Tor. And I’m sorry for that.”

“I forgive you, Dom. I wasn’t doing a good job talking to you about it. I’m sorry for not pressing until we hit the point of no return.”

“It’s okay,” he said, forehead resting on hers. “I think we’re gonna be okay.”

“Me too.”

“Can we get somebody to take pictures of us?”

“Bella got a photographer, and he has definitely taken several.”

“This camera shy Sonny or detective Sonny noticing?”

“It’s Sonny seeing Gina tell him to.”

“You ever feel like the kids are trying to get us back together?”

“All the time, doll. You know how often Gina or Teresa go after me? Then Bella meddles. But Mia? She’s 17 and bound and determined she’s going to be the one to talk sense into me. And she kind of is. She actually talked to me about therapy.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. She doesn’t know why but knows my brain shuts down when I try to open up. Heard me tellin Teresa. Said it’s toxic masculinity makin’ me feel like talking about feelings is girly and I gotta get over that if I wanna stay married and making you happy.”

“I ever tell you Mia’s my favorite?”

“She’s got a good head on her shoulders.”

“How long until we can run away and go to a bar?”

“Anybody else left yet?”

“Your cousin Lauren and some of Bella’s friends.”

“What bar you thinking? Because you look too pretty to not take to some classy wine bar.”

“That works for me.”

“Then let’s go tell Bella and Tommy bye.”

“What about Gianna?”

“It’s not her engagement.” Victoria almost felt like they were back in high school and cutting class as they said their goodbyes and got their coats. Why the hell his sister was getting married outdoors in winter was beyond Victoria, but she was grateful for the fact they’d probably end up rained out and inside for the ceremony. Sonny hailed a cab, waving when he saw his mother watching them from a window.

“She’s pissed, Dom.”

“Too bad. Taking you to a nice wine bar. Ordering a cheese board.”

“You’re making it sound like a date.”

“I been shit and ain’t taken you on one in two years. Can it be?”

“I’d like that.” She was nervous, but it had become apparent he was trying. From what he said, in a couple weeks he’d be willing to open up. He was also communicating with her as it was. Maybe treating the next two weeks as a trial run could be good. Ease into the heavy discussion. He’d mentioned being afraid how she’d react. Maybe if she was always there again, he’d realize she wasn’t leaving.

“C’mon, whatcha thinking Tor?”

“Just that I’m happy we’re making progress,” she fibbed, lacing their fingers. He looked to their hands and smiled, squeezing her fingers gently.

“Me too.” Soon enough they were settled at the bar, and Sonny, true to his word, had ordered a bottle of wine and a cheese board. She was turned to face him, legs carefully crossed. He had the leg towards the room on the footrest around the base of her stool. She was boxed in, but it felt reassuring when paired with his hand on her leg.

“So what’s this new squad like?” Sonny had never quite settled in anywhere since he’d become a detective, and he seemed smitten with his spot in Manhattan.

“So Barba is the ADA. Covered him. Liv is Lieutenant. Nobody ever really gave me a shot before. Apparently I can be abrasive.” He threw the hand not on her leg up in mock affront, and she laughed.

“You? Never.”

“I know,” he said, ignoring her sarcasm. “Rollins is cool. She’s been through a lot. She’s from Georgia though. I know you mostly grew up here, but you get that same Southern catty as her. Means it doesn’t get to me, because I know the secret. That she doesn't really mean it. Amaro is cool too. Had some problems too. Come to think of it, I don’t know why I’m acting like they won’t understand or accept our marriage. Fin’s been there longest, other than Lieu.”

“They treating you well?”

“They are. I think I’m finally not just a newbie. Barba gets mean. He’s not southern snarky though, so I think he means it.”

“I’ll fight him.”

“You’d win. He’s got a big mouth, but I don’t think he’d be scrappy.”

“I’m just real proud of you.”

“That means a lot to me, Tor.”

“You worked real hard. I watched that. And you’re going to be an amazing attorney.”

“I think I wanna try for the DA’s office if I pass the bar next year.”

“You’ll pass the bar.”

He rolled his eyes, pouring her another glass of wine as he topped off his own. When the night was over, he walked her to her door, kissing her goodnight and going to his own apartment. Sonny had decided that if it was going to be a date, he’d be a gentleman. Things were still delicate, and he had to leave early when she had a day off. He did text her the next morning to say he’d enjoyed their date, not wanting to have the wedding be the next time they talked. When he arrived at the precinct, he went to Olivia’s door, knocking.

“What’s going on, Carisi?”

“Since the squad’s coming to my sister’s weddin’ now, I felt like I gotta tell everybody I’m married and it’s really confusing.”

“Since you hadn’t mentioned it, I assumed you were getting a divorce.”

“You knew?”

“I did get sent your file when you started here. You know, I do read those.”

“I messed up bad, y’know? She’s a baker, right? And I’ve known her since I was five. Got married when we were eighteen. It was all good until I got to homicide.” Oliva gave him a sympathetic, knowing smile. “What I told you guys? How the women got to me? I was scared if I told her, I’d, like, tarnish her. Make her see all the bad stuff we see. It’s amazing talking to her, Lieu. She never stopped seeing the best in people. And I stopped acting like her husband because I thought just being close to me would transfer all of it. She left me, but we’re in a weird limbo. She’s in the wedding, and we act married when we see each other. This’ll only be the sixth time in a year and a half. But I don’t want her to meet everyone and they’re all like who the hell are you.”

“This job can make that part of life incredibly difficult, Carisi. I feel the same way sometimes about Noah. What if they take him? What if I’m so paranoid he grows up paranoid? Or god forbid he sees pictures? I try to refocus it. I think about how he can make light in those bad times. I don’t know much about her, but I’m guessing she does too?”

“She does.”

“Tell her, Carisi. If she knows something is wrong, she’ll be able to get through it.”

“I’m telling her after the wedding. My therapist said it might make it less stressful. I’ve been afraid she’ll change her mind when I tell her.”

“It’ll work out. It is a smart idea to make sure everyone knows. Barba’s coming with me, so I’ll make sure he knows and keep him in line.”

“Thanks Lieu. For this whole talk, but also giving me a shot.”

Tag List: @cycat4077 @fear-less-write-more

#sonny carisi #sonny carisi x reader #sonny carisi x oc #law and order special victims unit #law and order svu #writing

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halothenthehorns · 3 years

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TLTNL- THE DEATH EATERS

Sirius had lived through a lot of crap in his life, some real life shattering moments, but the act of forcing himself to read about the return of Voldemort, when he technically hadn't even fallen yet so they'd never even been allowed to live in that lifespan of peace like Harry had, really was doing something to his psyche as he got started.

Voldemort looked away from Harry and began examining himself. His hands were like large, pale spiders.

Harry almost longed for Sirius or someone trying to crack a joke during all of this, it would make what he was hearing feel even slightly better, his first thought that someone could have made a mention of how Ron would hate Voldemort just for that fact alone, but humor was going to be hard to come by until Harry was out of this danger.

All his other features were as inhuman as well, pale and more serpent like than ever. He took no notice of Wormtail continuing to sob at his feet, still bleeding from his stump.

'As much as he deserves, he's got a fate worse than Quirrell's coming up,' Remus viciously thought to himself.

The large snake from Harry's dreams wasn't given much notice either as it continued slithering across the ground.

Voldemort put one of those unnatural hands into his pocket and came back with a wand, which he caressed with his new fingers.

Lily gathered from that act that this must indeed be Voldemort's own wand, the one with the phoenix core he shared with Harry's. It took a moment for Lily to even push past her disgust at all the cruel things that wand had done to her, James, and what felt like everyone she ever loved, to even try to guess where it had even come from, until she remembered who'd been tending to Voldemort this whole time. Lily couldn't help but wonder for the first time if that rat had possibly made an appearance at their house that fateful Halloween night as well, if he'd come across the body of Voldemort and taken possession of his wand for safe keeping, or perhaps even a level of power, and then hid it away before he went underground as Scabbers. It didn't even seem that far fetched, as he hadn't a wand on him that night he'd been confronted by Sirius and Remus, so he'd held this one as a backup all these years. At the same time as she realized that though, it also meant he would have had to cross James's body, and she hoped in the blackest way possible that had hurt him. To see what he'd cost in deceiving a man who still didn't want to believe the worst in him after everything.

The first act he performed was to point it at Wormtail, who sailed back into the headstone

James held a remarkable look on his face as he heard that, somewhere between demented humor that this was Peter's reward from Voldemort himself, and still some grains of wondering when he'd finally show regret for his decision.

and again crumpled in pain, begging his master to help him, to keep his promise.

Voldemort indeed asked for his arm, but when he held up the stump hopefully, Voldemort pushed that aside and instead tried to snatch the other one. Wormtail again whimpered and pleaded his Master to help him,

Sirius got through that exchange like an executioner reading out the final charges. It really was easier to think of this cretin as some corpse going through these motions rather than someone he'd once put such trust in, put his own life in those hands, one of which was now gone in a willingly given gesture for these actions to be occurring.

but Voldemort ignored this and pushed back the sleeves of his unbloodied sleeve. There Harry spotted something branded into the skin, the same image that had hovered in the sky the night of the World Cup, the Dark Mark.

Voldemort pressed one of his long white fingers into it, and Harry's scar imploded with pain again.

Remus' mind flashed back through all the mentions of Snape and Karkaroff talking about something on their arm, and then to find the same thing now on that foul little rat, it couldn't really be a coincidence. But what was it exactly?

Voldemort straitened with satisfaction, murmuring to himself that now he would know the brave to return,

Lily had not a clue what was going on, what Voldemort was doing, nor where on earth that tattoo had come from. What she did gather was the fact that it seemed to be some sort of calling symbol, and that meant even more bad news was about to arrive.

and those foolish enough to stay away.

Harry was rubbing at his forearm thoughtfully, some lingering thoughts floating just beyond his conscious mind of how he felt about those questions.

Voldemort began pacing across Harry's field of vision, his ruby eyes again falling on the gagged teenager as he informed him that Harry stood upon the bones of his late father. Much like Harry's mother

James had already grown up hating Voldemort through his life, but in that moment where he actually referred to Lily, James wanted to see him dead more than ever. No one got to talk about his wife like that!

both had died but held their uses.

"Uses?" Lily spat in disgust. "I lived trying to protect my son, that's more than he'll ever understand."

Lily Potter had died defending her son,

Sirius would forever hate himself for having to say that, and still having even the slightest bit been involved in that happening, but then he conjured back the image of telling his wasteful parents that their precious Voldemort was in fact a half-blood with parent issues, and it gave him enough breath back to keep going.

and Voldemort had killed his father,

"So it was Voldemort who killed Riddle and his own grandparents," Remus marveled, wondering why he was even shocked. There were some questions in there he was curious about, like why, but this was Voldemort he was thinking about, he'd never really needed much of a reason to kill anybody, especially Muggles, certainly ones he was related too would be eliminated at Voldemort's earliest convenience.

and look how useful he'd been in his death.

Harry rubbed at his forehead a bit at that, there was a significance to what Voldemort had said about a father being useful in death...his eyes flickered to his own and away, he didn't like to think of his dad as dead in any sense even if it might have been helpful to him in his past.

Voldemort gave a soft laugh again as he continued his pacing, that snake still circling in the grass below mimicking his movement.

"I want to know what's with that thing?" James muttered of no one, anything to keep the feeling alive that they were hearing of this in the room rather than having to think about Harry living it. "They were only using its weird venom to keep Voldemort alive, yet he named it didn't he. What's so special about this snake?"

"I'm not really that surprised," Remus shrugged, "Voldemort claims to be the descendant of the Great Salazar Slytherin, I can easily picture him with some snake for a pet now."

"I can't picture him with anything resembling a pet," Lily disagreed, "he doesn't have the capacity to take care of a goldfish."

"We should just be thankful it's whatever this is, and not a basilisk," Sirius muttered.

Harry wasn't that grateful for his dad's comment, that annoying feeling cropping up again of an answer that should have been there. There was indeed something very significant about Nagini he just wasn't remembering.

Voldemort began telling Harry his story, how his own father had lived just over on that hill. His mother had lived in the village and fell in love, but Riddle had abandoned her when he found out what she was, his father hadn't liked magic.

"Oh joy, just what I always wanted, more Voldemort backstory," Sirius groused.

Lily on the other hand couldn't help but picture someone else saying this, someone who was now in Voldemort's ranks himself. Snape had made many of the same comments about his own father from time to time. It never failed to sadden her just how much alike her old friend and Voldemort seemed to be, far more than Snape and her had ever had in common it seemed.

He'd abandoned her while pregnant and not looked back, and she'd died giving birth to him, leaving him in an orphanage with the foul name of Tom Riddle, of the very same man who he now vowed revenge on.

Remus shook his head in disgust the longer this dragged on. "While no one's arguing the guy's an arse for trying to abandon his kid, I'm still struggling to wrap my head around how this turned him into the greatest evil in our world. And now I'm even wondering why he was named after his father, did the orphanage find out about that name through the mother before she died and gave it to him, because it's not like that Riddle seemed to have a say in it."

"You are reading far too much into this," Sirius sighed. "Just hate him and start plotting ways to stop this from happening like the rest of us."

Voldemort seemed to catch himself as he realized he was becoming sentimental,

"There's one thing I don't think anyone in the world's ever called that megalomaniac," James rolled his eyes.

recounting his life story for Potter, but now his real family was arriving.

Sirius sneered at the word family, absolutely convinced that Voldemort had no clue what that meant any more than the pathetic rat he employed.

The air was filled with the swishing of cloaks in long black attire and all faces covered as they Apparated as one. For a moment none moved, frozen in shock, until one finally shuffled forward, and flung itself at Voldemort's feet, kissing the hem of his robes.

Remus was flickering through all the known Death Eaters he'd heard about, and any one of them were considered so full of themselves it really was laughable whichever one it was groveling like that, making it all the more unbelievable they bowed to anyone, even Voldemort.

Soon they were all doing it, until Voldemort waved his hands that was enough, and then they all backed away and formed a circle around them with some noticeable gaps. Leaving Voldemort and Harry in the center, and a sobbing Wormtail still curled on the ground.

James wanted to ask Harry exactly how many there were, but he was honestly already faint at the idea of just how outnumbered his son was. The question had only occurred to him because he was pissed of how many free Death Eaters were out there. They'd known of some numbers, but this felt ridiculous that the Ministry hadn't been able to get so many of Voldemort's inner circle.

Voldemort didn't seem to be expecting anymore, as he began addressing them all by reminding them of how long it had been. Thirteen years, and they came to his call as if nothing had changed, still united.

Then he inhaled deeply, those blood-red eyes taking in all those around him as he stated he smelt their guilt.

Sirius had the mad desire to laugh. The way Voldemort was speaking to them, it all felt as theatrical as possible. He'd had a sense back when he'd been dealing with that odd diary that Voldemort had a grandiose idea of himself, but to be speaking like this really did just put a spin on how ridiculous the man sounded.

Voldemort stood before these men, healthy and free, and Voldemort asked himself why none before him had aided their master before this night.

Remus made a thrumming noise in his throat of deep curiosity as well, while not in the same light as Voldemort he did wonder the same. Like Sirius, he did wonder what exactly drew these people to Voldemort, if it was all to gain a bit of power than they should have been actively looking for the man who could give that back to them. Yet it had been a rat to find him and make this possible. This either meant he wasn't hard to find by Death Eater standards, or more likely since Dumbledore hadn't been able to find this husk, the rat had simply been the dedicated one to figure it out. His thoughts went back to that Pensive, of that deranged woman screaming about how Voldemort would reward her for being so loyal, and he was starting to wonder if in her own twisted way she'd been right. Voldemort was surely ticked at all of these that had been free and not spent every waking hour before now to make this moment happen.

No one spoke. No one moved except Wormtail, who was upon the ground, still sobbing over his bleeding arm.

Every time that was mentioned Sirius somehow still managed to add an extra layer of menace into his voice, even listening to all this Voldemort crap he still managed to somehow hate this most of all.

Voldemort answered his own question, how his followers had believed him broken and gone. They'd slipped back to society pleading ignorance and bewitchment.

"I'd make a joke about how talking to himself has made him go as mad as Crouch has, but I guess we already knew that ship has sailed," James huffed.

"There's still a chance he's gone even more up the ladder," Lily reminded, "getting blasted out of your body most likely does something to your mental health as well."

"I'm so sure Voldemort cares deeply about this," Remus rolled his eyes at the pair even if he did manage a smile, they're comments really did seem to be helping Harry as a constant reminder that they were here for him.

He returned by asking himself why they would believe such a thing? When he'd shown them all the steps he'd taken to defeat mortality.

Sirius narrowed his eyes curiously at that, hoping that if this monologuing was going to continue, at least Voldemort could go into details about this part. Sirius wanted to know what exactly those steps were, they'd clearly been the thing to keep him alive against a rebounding Killing Curse.

They'd seen his proof of becoming mightier than any alive being.

"I can not get over how full of himself he is," Lily shook her head with a twist of her lips. "I'm now grateful that in the times where he's fought our side he's never tried to monologue during it."

"Though if he had, we'd have this problem nipped by now," James pointed out, "so maybe that's how we get rid of this guy, try to get him talking about himself."

"I'll make a list of conversation starters," Sirius rolled his eyes at the pair.

He again answered himself that his loyal followers could have perhaps traded allegiance to that of their enemy, Dumbledore.

His circle shivered as one, some even murmured this not to be true, but still they were ignored as Voldemort continued speaking to himself about how disappointed he was.

"First bit of good news I've heard all night," Remus grumbled.

"Wish he'd stay that way," Sirius agreed.

One man collapsed to his knees again, begging his Master to forgive them, forgive them all.

Voldemort's response was to use Crucio on him.

The Death Eater writhed on the ground, shreking in agony, while Harry was left silently begging for someone nearby to have heard.

Lily's arm kept tightening around her baby all the time, sure she'd never gripped anything so tight in her life to assure herself Harry was right here beside her now, not being forced to live through this again any more than he had to. Pity didn't quite define what she felt for her baby. She completely understood his desperate desire for help to arrive, but she had no doubts that not a soul actually knew where he was, and no Muggle could do a thing for him.

Voldemort lifted his curse, and commanded Avery to get back to his feet. Voldemort would not be forgiving anyone until they repaid their thirteen years of service owed.

"I'm hoping you won't live past the next thirteen minutes," Sirius snapped, "so Avery's not going to get his chance."

Another high pitched sob drew Voldemort's attention back to Wormtail, admitting to himself that at least this one had already started on that path. Reminding him that he deserved this pain-

James was trembling, whether in rage or despair no one was sure, for that being so irrevocably true and he still wanted more than anything for it to not be.

to which Wormtail moaned in agreement even while still begging his Master to help him.

Remus was starting to get concerned about letting Sirius continue like this, it just couldn't be good for his health, or throat, to keep reading about that in the most violent way possible, but as it was the only release Sirius could find instead of murdering that rat like he deserved, Remus wasn't going to be the one to stop him.

Voldemort nodded to himself, saying that while worthless, Wormtail had been of service, and Voldemort rewarded that.

Lily already realized that rat had broken her list of people who needed to be purged from her life, but now every time she was forced to see the reaction it gave James it was still somehow made worse every time.

Voldemort gave another flick of his wand, and something silver materialized in the air, which sunk down to Wormtail's level and developed into a fist over his stump. His sobbing finally ceasing, Wormtail sat up and inspected the now gleaming metal, flexing his fingers in surprise.*

The fact that he was actually being rewarded really did somehow feel like the worst part. Like their friendship, this family, all the times they'd shared over the past years of their life hadn't been enough for him, and he'd gone crawling to everything they'd ever stood against, and somehow he actually still hadn't shown an ounce of remorse for his choice.

He remained on the ground for a moment longer as he began kissing the hem of his Master's robes, thanking him for such a thing.

Sirius didn't care how long he lived, that image would forever be branded into his brain and he couldn't ever peel it away no matter how much it hurt, how much he still didn't want it to be true and still wanted to end his life before any of this could begin.

Voldemort told Wormtail that this was a sign Wormtail would never again question his loyalties, to which was instantly agreed.

For some reason something of what Dumbledore had once said tried to come floating back to the surface of Harry's mind, something about how Harry actually would one day be thankful that Wormtail was so heavily involved in all of this. Harry believed that now more than ever as he heard about this hand.

Wormtail finally got to his feet and entered the circle, while Voldemort began addressing more individuals, starting with Lucius.

"Wow, so we were right, Malfoy is part of the inner circle," Lily huffed, her own mind still distracted, caught on the never ending realization they'd all been suffering through that one of their own was now a part of the same thing.

Voldemort began with reproach, asking how someone who had made it so high in the Ministry's rankings had never come to his Lord's aid.

Malfoy swore he'd always kept a watchful ear out, if ever he'd heard the slightest sound of his Master's return he would have been there-

"Is it wrong to say I'm actually enjoying listening to him beg like this," Sirius got out through gritted teeth, the opposite of looking like he was enjoying any part of this.

Nobody responded, they weren't entirely sure how much of a joke that was supposed to be, as well as Sirius could find his own pleasure in whatever he needed right now anyways so they wouldn't tell him off for it regardless.

Voldemort cut him off by reminding he'd fled when the Mark had been cast in the sky.

Mr. Malfoy instantly stopped his speech.

"I can not get over the fact that Harry's referring to him as Mr. Malfoy," Remus directed at Lily, hoping the friendly reminder of when Harry had first met Hagrid would make even one slight worry line disappear from her face.

Voldemort told how disappointed he was in this, and expected more faithful service in the future.

Harry wondered why he thought he should have a feeling about that, some sense of something telling him the Malfoy line and Voldemort's service could hold something to him...

Voldemort moved on from him then, where a double space could have housed two people. Voldemort stared as if he still saw them there, murmuring to himself about the Lestranges.

Sirius' hard face managed to give an extra spasm of hatred at the reminder of his family. He already knew what had become of one of his cousins, Narcissa had married a Malfoy and he was honestly surprised she hadn't been mentioned right along with Lucius, and he'd heard rumors of what Bellatrix had become, if he wasn't mistaken this was in fact her new last name. Only Andromeda had made anything good of herself, at least he hoped she'd stayed that way in all these years.

He knew of their life in Azkaban, how they were there because they had not renounced their ways, and Voldemort swore when Azkaban was broken they would be honored for this.

Remus shook his head in disgust, thinking back to that Pensive and that woman who had believed this same thing. Guess she had been right, though with any luck she was long dead, it would certainly serve her right. They had no confirmation if Crouch's son had been involved in what happened to the Longbottoms, but she certainly hadn't done a thing to make it seem she hadn't otherwise, so Azkaban was a rightful resting place for a wretched being like that.

Then he mentioned how easy this would be with the dementors joining their side,

"I believe that," James shivered, "Dumbledore's always said it's a miracle they haven't deserted us already, the majority of them have. I keep hearing fewer numbers are keeping their prison in check all the time."

"Well we need a new prison anyways," Lily snapped, "so good riddance to them."

as well as the giants and all manner of dark creatures.

Remus gave a particularly vicious shiver at that, it really wasn't his favorite job he now had to be helping keeping tabs on a select group of those fearsome monsters, he among them.

Voldemort moved on to face Macnair, speaking of his job in the Ministry as a beast executioner.

Sirius had an individual hatred for that loon, the one who'd tried to kill Buckbeak, the same creep who'd walked around with an axe the whole time around children. It really didn't surprise him in the slightest he was among these high ranking, he was the kind you had probably found burning live kittens in his youth.

Next he addressed Crabbe and Goyle, only sparing enough words to gain their promises of further loyalty.

"Wow, and here I thought their kids were just meat suites without brains," James said nastily. "Turns out they're as trollish as their own dad's."

Lily hummed without comment that time, etching all of these into her own mental list, some of the worry for her son finally lessening just slightly enough she was realizing how useful all this information could be to the Order, they were getting a handpicked list of the elite after all, many of which were indeed still active in the Ministry now. She'd worry about details on how to nail them all after Harry was out of there, she'd still rather have the ignorance of not knowing than how she was learning this.

They bowed clumsily, muttering dully.

"That about describes everything they do," Sirius snarked.

After Nott was next named, Voldemort stopped in front of the largest gap, where he claimed six should stand. Three had died, one was clearly too cowardly to return, and another had long since left his service and would pay with his life. The last of which Voldemort already knew of and still remained his faithful servant.

"That was mentioned once before too wasn't it?" Lily muttered to herself. "Someone faithful who'd been helping him out along with- the first one we heard about." Her throat wasn't quite able to swallow all of a sudden it was so dry, and she trailed off from there with nothing more to add on. The one name Voldemort hadn't given, the one they really wanted to know.

Remus was keeping his own running list in his head, and realized that at least two of those most likely referred to Karkaroff and Snape, though he had no clue who was who. He didn't really think that was giving them too much credit anymore, not the way they'd been speaking all year about something like this happening. All he was left wondering who the third was. Could it be one of those two who were his most faithful and had been helping him out as well, or someone else altogether they hadn't even heard about yet.

Voldemort informed those around him his faithful servant was at Hogwarts, and was the reason they were all here tonight.

James made a demented noise. He somehow had found a new level for hate on either Karkaroff or Snape. His money was on Snape, but since it really had been either of them to put his son in there, they were going to suffer for it in the worst way he could conceive.

All attention was turned back on Harry now, some would even call him their guest of honor.

"Well I'm certainly not that some, and you need to not ever say that again," Lily snapped to no one, knowing she couldn't stand Voldemort taunting Harry being there much longer without blasting down a wall of her house in anger.

Voldemort let the silence continue until Malfoy spoke up again, craving his Lord to tell how this miracle had become.

Voldemort agreed he'd share the tale, which all began, and ended, with Harry Potter.

Aside from the abundance of information regarding names they were being force fed from his meeting, James wondered if he'd get something even more important to him. Would Voldemort finally divulge the very reason he'd started with his boy in the first place?

He began by recounting this boy as his downfall, all the while Harry was only just managing to follow along every word with his scar in agony.

Lily was mouthing her anger that on top of all this Harry was in fact in pain this whole time, if being in close contact to the essence of Voldemort had hurt Harry, then she could only imagine how that had increased with his own body. Her only saving grace for now was that it wasn't happening to him now, he still kept himself still as possible, one hand curled securely around her, the other hooked into James. James had been randomly patting it this whole time as a reminder to himself as well, thankful beyond words their infant had never been brought back down to be any part of this.

Stating the fabled tale of how his mother had died to save him,

Lily's touch seemed to warm Harry all the more. Not that he'd ever forget that for a moment in his life, nor ever be able to find happiness in the act of her life being cost, but there was still something he could never put into words of the magic of the act that went beyond any spell.

and how she'd unwittingly given him life that night, something that had not been foreseen. Voldemort could not touch him.

Remus was starting to get a bad feeling about this, his fingers already tightening around his wand as he remembered the last time Voldemort had tried to act on that and had nearly choked Harry to death. Why was Voldemort even keeping Harry alive now? He'd played his part in the resurrection potion, was it all really for gloating now?

Voldemort raised one of his long white fingers and put it very close to Harry's cheek.

Harry had to beat back the impulse to lean away from those touching him now, that horrible ingrained pain still trying to remind him it had once existed in his scar, soon to be even worse though he wouldn't have believed that possible.

Voldemort whispered and still all heard that the sacrifice of old magic had been overlooked,

"You make that mistake a lot," Sirius snapped cheerfully, "and it's put a hole in your boat so many times I hope it never stops."

"Sirius, I don't think that's actually a saying," James sighed more than joked back.

"Well it is now," Sirius replied like that was obvious, and for a moment as the two best friends met eyes something felt normal even for just that second before Sirius forced himself to resume.

but in the end, all in vain. Harry Potter could now be touched.

He placed the tip of his finger against Harry's scar, who screamed harder than he had in his life, now convinced his head was being cleaved in two.

Voldemort hissed a laugh in his ear, but pulled away to continue.

"Wha-How!?" Lily screeched, her arm starting to shake across Harry's shoulders. The thing she'd been able to leave him with, a sliver of protection she'd lost her life for, and now even that was gone. She felt like a failure as a mother, nothing she'd ever done had been enough for him.

Lily looked as likely to burst into tears of frustration as murder someone in that moment, so Remus felt like he was poking his own death as he reminded, "the potion that resurrected him Lily. He used Harry's blood, that makes them as connected as their wands now." He'd thought the others had realized this, it made sense when you went back and realized why Voldemort had wanted to use only Harry for this when that rat had been right, it would have been easier to get a hold of another other than Harry for this.

Apparently not as the others lost an extra shade of color, all false bravado of pretending this was okay falling out the window. Stupidly, Harry had felt a teensy bit safer with at least the knowledge Voldemort couldn't lay a hand on Harry, now even that was taken from them!

Sirius was looking from the book, to each of them in turn, like he was waiting for someone to actually offer some good news, something that would make this bearable for him to keep going. No one was, that ship had long sailed, and instead Sirius just wanted this chapter to end with Harry getting out of this place already.

His fault had been his downfall, and he was stripped from his body with pain he could not begin to describe. Still he did not despair, as some of the measures he'd taken for immortality had seemed to take effect, but not in the way he'd hoped. He had no body, and no way to use a wand,

James could feel the powder he was grinding his teeth to in frustration. In all this talking and posturing and making his life a living hell, Voldemort was still holding back on the important details, like an example of those bleeding experiments so they could make sure this didn't happen when James removed this snake's head!

so he'd been forced to exist in that state of being as he snuck away to a safe forest he knew of, waiting in vain for the help he should have expected from one of his loyal followers.

Those around him all shivered again in fear, and Voldemort let the silence linger for emphasis before continuing.

"If only he'd kill them all and save us the job," Sirius snarled.

The only temporary solace he'd found was when a young, foolish wizard had found him, and in luck's favor, had even been employed in Dumbledore's very school.

"What do I have to pay this guy to make him stop already," James moaned. He was sick with worry every passing moment Harry was there a second longer, and now they were having to hear about all of this stuff again they'd already had to live through. Harry didn't need this in his life repeated a third time, it had already nearly killed him the first two!

His goal had been the Philosopher's Stone, but again he'd been thwarted by Harry Potter.

"Did we ever congratulate you for doing that?" Remus sighed as he tried to usher back to a time where Voldemort popping out of Quirrell's head was the worst part of their day.

He didn't know what kind of answer he was expecting, but Harry not answering wasn't an encouraging one. He was still acting distant to the world around him. This night in the graveyard, what he'd already witnessed happening to Cedric, it was enough to drive anyone mad the first time around, now he was being forced to hear it all again. The one and only thing that seemed to be keeping him here was whatever response he got from his parents.

That struggle had ended with the death of Quirrell, and he was left as weak as ever.

"Please don't tell me he's going to start recounting your second year as well," Sirius groaned.

"That's actually an interesting question of if he even knows," Remus reminded. "We never even understood how a bit of his soul got into that diary, and Harry killed it with the basilisk fang. I can't imagine why Voldemort would know anything about it, considering it was aged so many years before the body he's in now, so the most he'd say was a passing comment about Harry doing that when he felt a bit of his soul die." Remus kind of wanted to keep going, that old intriguing question of what exactly would be happening if that Voldemort soul part had succeeded and come back to life. Would it have merged with the rest of this body, or stayed two separate entities? He was clearly the only one thinking on this, and knew the others were long since done with this whole night and wanted it to be over. Remus didn't even really care for finding answers to this, it was just easier to postulate ridiculous ideas like this than have to keep thinking of Harry tied to a headstone.

Voldemort had returned to his hiding, giving up hope.

James released a torrent of sounds as he begged this to end there no matter how much he knew otherwise. The next part, the bit where he had indeed gotten exactly what he wanted, was still the worst part of all.

Even he hadn't expected the change to come, when Wormtail had been driven out of hiding by once friends and forced to seek out his old Master.

Harry again felt the burn of Trelawney's prophecy tormenting his life, now complete and in the flesh. What he would give to go and take back his part in this coming true.

This had been accomplished through his curious affinity with rats.

"One that he thankfully can't retain in death, so look for some silver lining," Lily hissed under her breath.

The rodents had whispered of the forests of Albania where their kind sensed evil, and Wormtail had made his way there. All had almost been lost before it even begun, as Wormtail stumbled into Bertha Jorkins. Showing a spot of intelligence none would have guessed from him, Wormtail had continued to work this in his favor and a wealth of information was born from that woman.

Sirius hated himself for somehow still finding new ways to despise that miserable bit of existence. He just wanted to have him dead already and be done with that part of his life, this continuing to be dragged out always managed to find new ways of torturing him along.

Through persuasion, she'd told of the Triwizard Tournament, and even after a Memory Charm had been broken, divulged of a faithful Death Eater willing to go to Voldemort's service. Once she'd shared all she knew, her mind and body were damaged beyond repair.

Harry couldn't even imagine what Bertha's last few moments of life had been like, but he could understand a small bit of her pain. He felt it every time a powerful memory was returned to his own mind after some kind of Memory blocking had been put on him. He was going slow, relearning this bit by bit, and he still felt like it was slowly driving him mad. He couldn't imagine someone being forced to have it all come back at once, that really would drive a person out of their own skull.

Remus shook his head in disgust at himself, this was all so clear in hindsight. Bertha had worked in the Department of Magical Cooperation, and would have known about the Tournament before hand like every other employee there. When Voldemort had previously mentioned how useful her information had been, that had been what helped put this whole plan into action. The reason her memory had gone from so good in the way they remembered to this way was because she'd had a Memory Charm placed on her, and then broken in the worst way. Now the only thing he was left wondering was who was the servant that had executed that plan, and who'd placed it on her in the first place, what had been hidden that revolved that secret?

Voldemort shown his scarlet eyes on Wormtail, admitting his own shock at such an ill adapted wizard accomplishing all that.

A distant part of James absently noted how even Voldemort kept downplaying Peter's skills when they'd been the very things to get Voldemort where he was now. It seemed everyone constantly mocked and laughed at him, and yet the Marauders never had, but instead encouraged and helped along what he was good at. What had they done so wrong that had forced their friend away?

A plan had been formed from Bertha's information, and while Voldemort had been nursed back to health using Nagini's venom, the potion was being prepared that gave Voldemort the body he now possessed. They had the first ingredient of unicorns blood, but still needed the rest. The flesh had been provided, the bone would detail the setup of where this would happen.

Lily hadn't believed she could be any more shocked tonight, but still she managed to utter in surprise, "so, his Death Eaters know he's not a pureblood?"

"I, um, guess they do," James wasn't sure how he was supposed to feel about that, but he knew at some point in the future when he sadly would go back thinking to this he'd be disappointed. They'd been planning to spread this information around, hopefully discredit Voldemort's top people in hopes they'd desert him, and now that plan seemed as useless as anything else they'd ever tried to do.

The blood of the foe had been the tricky part. Wormtail had been happy to use anyone, but Voldemort knew the one he must have. To share Harry Potter's blood, so that the lingering magical protection would now be in his own veins.

Lily looked beyond disgusted at the idea. She'd thought it repulsive to share anything with Petunia, but this was just as bad! How dare the very thing that kept trying to hurt her son somehow manage to house his very protection!

The boys were suddenly aware of a way to kill Voldemort, release Lily on him. She looked so fearsome in that moment if she'd actually had her target present, not even a puddle would be left of him.

The question of how to reach Harry Potter was the issue, as the boy was so well protected in ways Dumbledore had planned from the moment this started.

That question made something occur to Remus for the first time, but it was such a small thing making a blip in his mind as compared to the other more pressing matters he knew he couldn't be bothered to question that until he had the much better knowledge of hearing Harry be free of this nightmare.

Ancient magic was invoked to ensure the boy's protection as long as he was in his relations' care.

James' brain felt like a broken record, all he'd been managing to due for ages now was utter, "wait, what?" Always feeling one step behind now.

Lily's face squinched up in pain as she processed this, muttering, "I've never heard of that."

"I can believe it though," Remus said sourly. "It doesn't excuse what Dumbledore did in even the slightest bit in not checking in on Harry with those abusive excuse for people, but it still always blew my mind of why he'd been put there in the first place when neither of you ever even mentioned Petunia's existence."

Sirius wished that at any time Harry had ever demanded of Dumbledore why he had to keep going back there, if Dumbledore would really use the excuse Harry was safer there than out because of some protective magic. No magic was infallible, and safe was the last thing Harry was at the hands of those Dursleys.

Harry watched them all with fascination, surprised he'd finally been dragged out the recesses of his mind to focus in on them muttering about the Dursleys again. He supposed if there was someone to rival their hatred of Voldemort and Wormtail, it was Vernon and Petunia, not that this was at all comforting. Harry at once wanted to sink back into not having to listen to anymore words, if he kept trying to understand past that to those around him he was going to suffer even more pain for the realization he was living through all of this because the scene around him would never happen in his own time. Sadly, now that he'd been snapped out, he couldn't find the distance to go back.

Then there had been the Quidditch Cup, where his body had still been too weak to attempt a kidnap around so many, but then more of Bertha's information had been of use. Voldemort had placed his faithful Death Eater at Hogwarts, who'd ensured Harry's name would be placed in the Goblet of Fire.

"Holy Godric Gryffindor!" Sirius yelped.

"We are complete morons," James gasped as that was slapped into his face.

"This whole bleeding time, we were thinking they were actually two unrelated- Merlin's pants are we something stupid," Remus snarled as he nearly ripped the sleeve of his robe off he was pulling on it so hard in agitation.

That one really should have clicked together when Harry had appeared here, but in between Cedric dying and the appearance of that rat, it had been hard to think past anything else. Now they realized that in fact, this whole year had been one big set up to this end, and they all felt like fools for not grasping this sooner.

Harry wasn't going to let them wallow in their misery for long, failing to come up with an encouraging smile in his search for something to say, but still getting out, "if it makes you all feel any better, no one else figured this out either. Really, how could anyone have known that Voldemort's ultimate plan was for me to win some competition."

Lily supposed when he put it that way it did sound ridiculous, but it still didn't erase how bleeding frustrating it always was to find themselves lost amongst all these plans around Harry until it was too late. Still she forced some chipper into her voice as she agreed with him, if anything just because it was the first time he'd spoken in ages and she wanted to encourage that as much as possible.

Sirius forced himself to keep going at this point just because he saw an end in sight of this chapter.

His faithful Death Eater had ensured Potter's first place, and transformed the Triwizard Cup into a Portkey so that they could all be here now, far from Dumbledore's protection.

None of that was helping narrow out their two suspects, both had access to all of that.

Now here he was at their mercy, the one who everyone believed to be Voldemort's downfall.

"And will be again, and again, and again, until you learn to stay the hell away from him," James snarled, his own arm tightening around his wife and son possessively which would stay that way until Voldemort was gone.

Voldemort moved slowly forward and turned to face Harry. He raised his wand,

Harry recognized what was coming a moment before he watched Sirius utter that spell.

and used Crucio.

When the memory of that pain surged in his mind, but didn't actually make a comeback on him, Harry forced himself to slowly relax back into his parents grip, trying to insist upon his brain that wasn't happening to him now, but it helped nothing when he couldn't convince himself this still wasn't the most painful part of his night.

This was pain beyond anything imaginable, his eyes were rolling in his head, he knew the only relief he'd ever feel again was the blackness of death.

Sirius felt tears stinging at the edge of his vision as he forced himself to read of that happening to his pup. He could hardly imagine the idea without wanting to throw himself in front of Harry now. The infant in the crib, the fourteen year old suffering through this for the first time alone and helpless, or even the adult now cushioned between his parents. Absolutely none of it could ever be comprehended in any way other than the worst torture in the world to imagine that happening to Harry.

It stopped as suddenly as it started, and if Harry hadn't been bound in place, there was no way he'd be upright.

Voldemort looked pleased as the night rang with laughter from his followers.

Whatever the opposite of laughter was, Remus could hear himself making that, but forcing himself to do it as privately as he could, he didn't want Sirius to stop now, he was to desperate to hear of the something else, anything else happening than Harry torture until he got out of there which wasn't happening soon enough.

Still, Voldemort swore that while it would be easy to dispose of this child, he wanted no one in doubt of his own true power. Harry Potter would be killed now, with no Dumbledore protection, and no mother to die for him.

There was not a shadow of a doubt in anyone's mind that Lily would make that call over and over again, but it didn't explain why something came over Harry's expression when he heard that. In fact Harry had looked the same way every time one of his parents had come up for a while now, what was it about this night that had him feeling so much for the two. Was it possible Voldemort would start taunting their last moments again, Harry had looked much like he was now when that had happened before.

Instead, Harry Potter was to be released, and handed back his wand.

"That was the stupidest thing he could have done," Remus sneered, "as I finally figured out the way you're going to get out of there, putting Voldemort in his place."

"I think you lot have far too much faith in me," Harry whispered, still keeping a tight hand on each of his parents. "No, whatever did save me from that place, it wasn't my doing, it was Voldemort's own fault, again."

"Well whatever the case, let's be done with it," Sirius pleaded, of whom even he wasn't sure.

HPHPHPHP

*Did anyone else first read this moment and think, 'oh my god he's going to kill Remus!' I mean, I'm happy I was wrong, but come on, the silver hand, he'd already been a hand in killing one Marauder and trying to kill another, (yes I consider leaving Sirius when he did was as good as a death sentence.) Remus was the only one he hadn't personally had a chance at yet...

#The Life that Never Lived #Harry Potter #HP #fanfiction #reading the books #GoF #Marauders #James Potter #Remus Lupin #Sirius Black #Lily Potter

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thewritershelpers · 4 years

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How to Write (Accurate) Dinosaurs (Follower Article Submission)

By Salvatore Cucinotta

Dinosaurs are probably the most popular subject in natural sciences and show up in fiction in so many roles it’s dizzying. But they are rarely shown with any accuracy. Depending on the story, that’s okay, and nothing to be ashamed of. However, the opportunities presented with more accurate dinosaurs can often outstrip the flights of fancy they have often been assigned. There’s a lot to cover, because dinosaurs are a very diverse group of animals, and we’ve learned a lot about them since they were first discovered: Even more things recently that get ignored for the ‘popular conscious’ image of these animals.

If you would like the opportunity to write an article on something you’re passionate about for The Writers’ Helpers, please click here.

Taxonomy: Understanding through Relatives

The first thing to understand is about dinosaurs is where they fit in the tree of life. Their taxonomic cousins are Crocodilians, and their direct descendants are birds. This does mean that birds are dinosaurs. Between the two, we have some very interesting and diverse templates to draw from for comparison. We can also make some speculations on things they may have done when the fossil record doesn’t fails us. This article is going to go on with a mixture of things we do know, and things we can infer. If anything strikes you as off or odd, I fully encourage you to dig deeper on your own. Heck, by the time this article comes out, a new find or paper could make some major changes to the broad generalities presented here. But, for now, if you want to get a simplified understanding, Dinosaurs mix some of the best features of crocs and birds, which allowed them to dominate the world for millions of years.

Jaws and Teeth

With that settled, let’s focus on the animal piece by piece, starting with the head. Dinosaurs tend to have rather powerful jaws. Tyrannosaurs are famous for it, but the bites of most dinosaurs are nothing to sneeze at. Their modern relatives, Crocs and birds, are rather noted for how powerful their bites can be. This is because they all share a similar muscle structure. They have two pairs of muscles on the back of their head as well as one in the center of their head (between the eye and nose) which are all to make the bite that much more powerful. In many dinosaurs, these show up as holes so they can be clearly seen. By comparisons, mammals only have one pair of extra muscles in the back for jaw reinforcement. This is why crocs can crush bones and parrots can crack Brazil nuts. So it becomes easy to picture: a Hadrosaur pulling off chunks of tree wood in tough times, a ceratopsian munching down an entire bush to its stem, or a tyrannosaur, which have the most powerful jaws among dinosaurs, crunching up the bones of its prey. Their jaws are not to be taken lightly. Other big predators have weaker jaws than Tyrannosaurs, but still enough to leave scratch marks on bones.

Teeth come next, and dinosaur teeth are as diverse as their diet. The sauropods have simple, peg like teeth for stripping plants. Others, like Ankylosaurs and Stegosasurs have beaks to crop plants, largely forgoing teeth. All these animals likely had gizzards or advanced stomachs or breaking down plant material like modern birds do (we have known examples from Sauropods, but not from the others, but it would make sense). Ceratopsians and Hadrosaurs have massive batteries of teeth for chewing, and powerful ones at that. Ceratopsians shifted their jaws back and forth to chew rather than side to side like mammals do, while Hadrosaurs did something really weird: they flexed their skull. While their lower jaw just moves up and down, the top looks like it’s squeezed by an invisible hand as they separate, which flexes out when the close, grinding any food caught between them as the top teeth slide down and out over the lower set. In life, it would give it very puffy cheeks as it chewed. Finally, predators largely have teeth for slicing flesh and creating gaping wounds in their prey. Except Tyrannosaurs, those animals had more conical teeth for crushing bone and armor, especially Tyrannosaurus rex. After getting a small enough food item in their mouth, they’d then swallow it whole. It seems theropods ripped prey apart like modern birds do, holding it down with a foot and plucking chunks off to be swallowed.

Tongue Actions

Staying in the mouth, let’s talk about tongues. Our two modern examples show great extremes. In Crocodilians, their tongues are fused to their jaws, while in birds, they can take a variety of forms. This is generally covered by the hyoid bone and a study from June of 2018 ran through what we have of hyoid bones. The short of it being, most carnivorous dinosaurs and the big long-necked ones had crocodilian tongues (yes, even the birdlike ones), while the Ornithischian dinosaurs (duck-billed dinosaurs, horned and armored dinosaurs, etc.) had tongues and could be a bit more elaborate with them. Given the simple jaws of Ankylosaurs, it is thought that their tongues might have been used to aid in grazing, being large, rough, and possibly used in pulling in food.

Horns, Frills, Domes, and Other Weirdness

Now there are dinosaurs that have horns, domes, crests, and other ornamentation on their heads, but they didn’t all use them for the same purposes. In Theropod dinosaurs like Ceratosaurus, Allosaurus, Cryolophosaurus, Carnotaurus, and even Tyrannosaurus rex, the horns, frills, and bumps were most likely display pieces like that of a modern hornbill. They look pretty, but don’t do much else. The Pachycephalosaurs dome heads are often shown ramming each other, and that’s likely accurate. We do have some evidence of lesions from impacts they could not withstand on their massive heads. Now, the Ceratopsian dinosaurs use their horns depending on their family. Chasmosaurine ceratopsians, such as Triceratops, Charmosaurus, and Torosaurus, likely locked horns like deer in shoving matches when battling each other, and used the sturdier horns to defend themselves when they could. Centrosaurine ceratopsians, including Monoclonius, Styracosaurus, and Pachyrhinosaurus did more body shoving and scraping with horns along the frill. So, instead of butting heads, they’d either T-bone their rival, or they’d circle each other to try and flip or knock over their foe. Finally, there’s the big tubes along the heads of lambeosaurine hadrosaurs. These were echo chambers for sound, which will be discussed in more detail below, but in general, these made deep, resonating sounds.

The frills of Ceratopsians likely served two purposes: defense and display. Display among other members of their species being the primary with defense a secondary bonus. And it wasn’t just bone covered in skin. The frills were covered in a keratin sheath like their horns and beaks, and like the beaks of modern birds. This means that they were quite durable, and possibly even brightly colored in life. It’s also fun to note that Tyrannosaurs had a habit of ripping off those frills in order to eat the thick neck muscles behind them.

Of course, the thing about Dinosaur heads, especially in Tyrannosaurs, Hadrosaurs, Ceratopsians, and likely Pachycephalosaurs is how much they change as they the animal ages. Ceratopsians show the most change, as they are born with frills and horns that can barely be notices, but which grow into different shapes for each stage of life. Triceratops has 5 distinct growth stages that we can determine so far, and it is likely other horned dinosaurs had similar stages. Hadrosaurs start with ‘cute’ faces, short nose and big eyes, and which elongate as they age. Tyrannosaur skulls deepen and become more robust as they age, to the point where young Tyrannosaurs have more teeth than the adults. Pachycephalosaurs might go through the most changes, starting with horn-covered heads before growing the dome as the horns shrink, but because their remains are rare and usually incomplete, we can’t say this with certainty.

As a final to-do regarding horned dinosaurs, it has been noted for years that their skulls have massive openings for their nasal passages. Holes far too big to just be for an enhanced sense of smell. One hypothesis about them is that they held air sacs that could inflate for display purposes, like that of a modern hooded seal. If that hypothesis held true, then they would be very showy animals.

(Almost) Bird Brains

Our last stop in the head is in the brain. Dinosaur intelligence is hard area to study since brains themselves don’t fossilize, but the braincase gives us some idea of its size and shape, and thus what it could focus on. This is made trickier because of the transition from more reptilian forms to avian ones, but, again, it gives us a rough estimate of what’s going on between their ears. From what we can deduce, animals like Allosaurus and Carcharodontosaurus were about as smart as modern crocodiles, with smarter ones on the way to being bird like. Some, like Tyrannosaurus, are only just, while one of the most intelligent dinosaurs (Troodon) is about 31.5 to 63% of the way to modern bird intelligence.

This does downplay the movie “Raptors” unlocking doors, or being as smart as crows or parrots, but it doesn’t make them unthinking, unfeeling beasts either. Again, crocodiles are more nuanced than most people are aware. Crocodiles have been seen bringing food to their babies, using very simple tools (putting moss and sticks on them to aid their camouflage), and can be taught a few tricks. They also play. They play with objects (wooden balls, noisy ceramic bits, their prey, floating debris, and even streams of water), they engage in movement play (surfing in waves, using waterslides, and riding currents), and even playing with others. And not just other crocodilians, but otters and even some people. Some of these play bonds can last for years. Crocodilians aren’t just reactive to their environment, they have flexibility in their behavior.

And no dinosaur has a secondary brain in the back to help out. That is total bunk.

All the Better to See You With

We can also tell a lot about the animals’ senses from these brain casts. In general, however, we can say that dinosaurs have great senses of smell and eyesight. Their hearing was good, but geared towards hearing lower sounds than humans are used to. This means that overall, the “It can’t see you if you don’t move” trick from Jurassic Park is patently false. Not only could it see you clearly, and in color, but it would just as easily identify a target through scent alone.

Resonance

Moving down to the throat, we enter the realm of figuring out what sounds dinosaurs made. This is a big area of curiosity, especially with the crests of the various Hadrosaurs being full of air tubes like massive instruments. The sounds of those is pretty well known – something like an alpine horn, but that’s not the limit of what sounds they could make. Modern birds would easily be a writer’s first thought. Birds make all sorts of sounds, from hooting owls to the lyrebirds’ perfect mimicry. However, Dinosaurs don’t have the bones for it. Most of those sounds are made with a bone known as the syrinx. This bone evolved in birds after they became their own group, and is found in no non-avian dinosaurs.

But that doesn’t mean they can’t make noises. Ostriches and bitterns and make booming sounds without the use of their syrinx, and crocodiles are very vocal animals. The chirp of crocodile babies in the nest is well known and documented, as is the mating bellow, and threatening hiss. But there are also calls to alert others to danger, call for help, and even an ‘Umph’ call to assure babies that their mother is near. These tend to be low, deep sounds for the most part, with the mating call going into infrasound ranges. This matches with many types of Dinosaurs. The singing Hadrosaurs and Tyrannosaurs both geared their ears for low frequency sounds. The Hadrosaurs to hear and locate each other, and Tyrannosaurs to listen in and find prey. This means that Tyrannosaurus wouldn’t roar, but something scarier. It could produce this sound without opening its mouth, and even if a hapless human couldn’t hear it, it would reverberate through their entire body.

Dinosaurs Can’t Play Basketball

The next thing to talk about is in the hands. In movies, and even in mounted skeletons, dinosaurs are often shown with their palms facing the ground. It gives raptors a praying mantis-like arm pose and is a product of anthropomorphism. Dinosaurs did not hold their hands like we do. Birds are dinosaurs, and birds hold their hands with their palms facing inward. Maniraptors (a group of dinosaurs including Oviraptor, Velociraptor, and modern birds) could almost fold their arms up like a bird does, though their fingers point to the ground getting only half way to a full bird fold-up. This is important for them because it allows for a ‘flapping’ motion. With this down, they could do all sorts of displays, catching small prey, or execute tighter turns.

Gut-Punch

The next topic is inside a dinosaur, and that is gastralia. This, in birds, is known as the sternum or breastbone. In dinosaurs, it’s basically a set of 8 to 21 reverse ribs that run along the line of the stomach. It is known to be present in Crocodiles and the Tuatara, and we have fossil evidence for it in many Theropods and Prosauropods. It seems to be absent from the giant Sauropods and Ornithischian dinosaurs. In life, they provide extra protection and muscle attachment points for the body mostly related to how they breathe.

Huff and Puff

Dinosaurs, like their descendants and relatives, have extremely efficient and powerful lungs unlike any other group of animals. They cycle through without pause, cleanly and efficiently. Throw in the hollow bones of Sauropods and Theropods, and like birds they become even more efficient with their breathing. This means they have very high endurance. The marathon flights of birds are a good benchmark for non-bird dinosaurs. It also means they can survive lower oxygen levels than us mammals can with fewer side effects. So the longer a chase scene goes on with a dinosaur, the more likely it’s going to win.

Serpentine! Serpentine!

The legs come next, and they are one of the defining features of dinosaurs and birds. They are extremely efficient runners. Their ankles and knees are simple door hinge joints, and their hips connect to their legs with a wheel joint. Even better, dinosaurs have a muscle attaching to the back of their thigh and connecting to their tail, making their run that much more powerful and efficient. So, dinosaurs can run quite well and for long periods of time. But they have trouble on turns. The tail can be used as a lever to aid in turns, but they’d still rather run straight than turn. So, when chased by a dinosaur, the best strategy is to get to cover and zig-zag randomly. Because you sure as hell aren’t outlasting them.

Speed wise, dinosaurs can do pretty well. It varies a lot by species. Tracks can tell us some answers, as can biomechanical analysis. It’s hard to pin down, and many a mathematical formula has been put together to try and figure out these speeds, with some variable ranges. The big theropods have a speed range between 10 and 25 mph. Large raptors around 20mph, with their smaller relatives 25-30mph. Smaller therapods can hit up to 45 mph, with the Ornithomimids hitting 50 mph at the most. The hadrosaurs tend towards 25-30mph. Ceratopsians tended to run at most just under 20mph. Armored dinosaurs and large sauropods tend to be the slowest, the fastest of these going roughly 6 mph.

Like today, predators have quicker pickup than herbivores, who are geared for more long distance running. Throw in all those adaptations for endurance and we have some real marathon runners here. In other words, predators tend to be sprinters, herbivores tend to be distance runners, but both are distance runners compared to mammals.

Ouch!

While we’re inside, let’s talk briefly about healing and injury. Dinosaurs are quite robust and tough animals. Their immune system is that of birds and crocodiles. When faced with an infection, their immune system isolates it. This makes it take longer to heal, but prevents septicemia/blood poisoning among other benefits. This does sometimes lead to amputation of toes in some animals. There are instances of healed creatures in many skeletons, though a bad break in a leg or along the spine can still be fatal. They still suffered some diseases. Tyrannosaurus for example has evidence from several individuals of a bone infection that seems to have been spread among them via face biting. Whether this face biting was social interaction of some sorts, violent interspecies conflict, or minor dominance displays while feeding like wolves do today is unknown.

Warm Blooded, Cold Blooded, or Something In Between?

At this point, it’s pertinent to mention how active dinosaurs were. The term “Mesotherm” is often put about them, and it seems to fit. They are between “Hot Blooded” Endotherms like birds and mammals, and “Cold Blooded” Ectotherms, like crocodiles and other reptiles. The short of it is, Dinosaurs were on a gradient of activity levels. Mostly above that of modern crocodiles (who are already geared to be as energy efficient as possible), up to that of modern birds. They wouldn’t bask in the sun by and large, but could do with less food than a mammal of similar size. What’s really fun is the cheat they use to assist that even more. See, most energy in mammals and birds is used to keep us warm and active. But this has a direct relationship with body size. The smaller an animal is, the more energy is needed to keep it warm. But large animals can keep themselves warm through their bulk alone. This is sometimes termed “Gigantothermy.” And dinosaurs hit that sweet spot really well, being able to outdo mammals and be more fuel efficient while doing so. Still, if the idea of the warmth of a group of mammals seems fanciful, remember: opossums, echidnas, and platypus’ have an average body temperature so low none of them can carry rabies.

The Way Out

Next, we come to an ‘exit’ from the internal stuff: a dinosaur’s butt, because dinosaur butts are weird. See, mammals from horses to humans are … different from other vertebrates. We have separate orifices for releasing both forms of waste as well as our reproductive system. Most other animals, well, they have their waste disposal plant and their amusement park in the same place. This is called a cloaca and is a universal organ for waste and reproduction. Birds, crocs, and dinosaurs have it. Even egg-laying mammals have it. It’s the standard from which modern mammals deviated. Because of this, dinosaurs can’t use urine to mark territory because they have no way of expelling it separate from other excrement. So, dinosaur poo would either be like that of a bird, or like that of a crocodile. On the plus side, this does make them quite good at retaining water, and makes them basically immune to being kicked in the crotch.

Eggs, Nests, and Parenting.

The other thing to come out of that hole, eggs, leads easily into nesting behavior. We only have a few nests we can fully identify, as well as dozens more which we can’t tell who they’re from. And the nests and their uses varied a lot. Some animals were nest bound after hatching, dependent on the parents for food. Others were like young reptiles of today, hatching ready to move and work largely on their own. It is likely, given crocodiles, that there was some parental protection early in life for most species. They had a high number of young, which compensated for the high attrition rates of young individuals. So, even the best mother lizards would lose quite a few children with each brood. In short, seeing a single child from a nest or as a yearling is not only inaccurate, but has extremely depressing implications.

In general, there were two major methods of nest building: the crocodile method, and the bird method. The crocodile method was taken up by the majority of dinosaurs. This being building a nest of rotting vegetation and covering the eggs, letting the warmth of rotting vegetation incubate the eggs. The latter is far better known, where the parents) use their warmth to incubate the eggs (though they were nested in rotting vegetation as well, a between stage for bird and crocodilian styles as it were). This more modern strategy is only found in smaller animals, and of those, the ones that were heavily feathered.

Scales, Dino-Fuzz, and Feathers

Yes, feathers. Dinosaurs have feathers. This is partly because birds are dinosaurs, and partly because of the “Ancestrally Filamentous Hypothesis” where the common ancestor of dinosaurs were likely feathered, or more accurately covered in filaments that are ancestral to feathers. This is because we have dinosaurs on both major branches with feathers and filaments of varying types and it is likely that they are from the same source, but it could be independent evolution as well.

But what’s really weird about dinosaur feathers is the fact that they are not mutually exclusive (meaning a dinosaur can have feathers and scales, and not just in patches either, but all mixed together), that some of the scales on some dinosaurs might be feathers that have become scales once again, and that there are occasionally multiple stages of feathers present on the same animal. There’s three basic stages (with 5 when you really get down to the nitty gritty things). These are the filament (hollow hair-like feathers somewhat similar looking, though often shorter, than what is seen today in emus and kiwis), plumulaceous (Fluffy down-like feathers), and pennaceous (and branching feathers from a central shaft). The latter are the majority of feather types on a bird, varying in how they are interwoven.

Armored dinosaurs (Stegosaurs, Ankylosaurs), Pachycephalosaurs, and Sauropods have no direct evidence for feathers on them, and aside from polar animals, very small animals, or sporadic display points probably didn’t have any. The scale impressions we have of sauropods and Ankylosaurs indicate rather crocodilian-like heavy scales, with smaller ones at the joints to ease movement. This includes the armor which, like the backs of crocodiles, were scales with boney core. And yes, some later Sauropods (such as Saltosaurus and Alamosaurus) did have body armor, though not to the extent of Ankylosaurs.

Ceratopsians or Horned dinosaurs have evidence of the first type of feathers on their bodies, namely long quills on the top of the tail of Psittacosaurus (along with a skin of fine scales whose coloration, that is similar to a modern deer, was also preserved). The skin impressions of Triceratops dinosaurs show they had more crocodilian-like armored scales, but also knob points where either spines or feather quills could have grown out. Given the size and placement, they might have been for display structures or they could have been more porcupine-like quill spines. But because this specimen is in the hands of a private collector, it has so far not been studied.

Ornithopods (duck-billed dinosaurs, Iguanodons, and small herbivores often called “Hypsilophodontids”) have several mummies preserving scaly skin, but Kulindadromeus, a primitive member of this family, had a very distinct body covering. Its face, shins, and tail were scaly, easily enough. But the torso, neck and head were covered in filamentous feathers, while its arms and thighs had plumulaceous coverings. So, it’s possible for Ornithopods to have all sorts of feathers, though it seems the larger ones preferred scales as far as we can tell so far, it doesn’t rule out feathered parts of the body as well, or mixed/alternating scales and feathers like the feet of some birds have.

Therapod feathers are extremely complicated since they include birds, and show the most diversity. We generally don’t have evidence for feathers in Ceratosaurs, Abeliosaurs, Megalosaurs, Spinosaurs, Allosaurs, or Carcharodontosaurs, but because of what we know of their ancestry, it is possible these animals had at least some filaments in scattered parts for display. Compsognathids and Tyrannosaurs have family members depicting plumulaceous feathers, including Yutyrannus which is so far the largest dinosaur to have such feathers (30ft long).

From there we get into properly bird-like and the feathers become more obvious. Therizinosaurs have plumulaceous feathers, while Oviraptors, Ornithomimids, and “Raptors” all have pennaceous feathers. Meaning that the latter three had wings. They couldn’t fly with them (well, maybe the juveniles can when they’re small and light enough for it), but they are still useful for a wide variety of things: shading young/eggs when nesting, social displays/mating dances, guiding movement when running like modern ostriches do, to aid in climbing like modern birds use them for (flapping furiously), or to pick up speed while running, or use them for balance when sinking their claws into prey like modern birds of prey do. There are a lot of ways birds use their wings for reasons other than flight, and the same might be true for non-avian dinosaurs that had them.

But let’s not forget the scales too. The do appear on dinosaurs are for the most part rather small. The scales preserved on tyrannosaurs are best measured in millimeters, with an animal up to 40 ft. long, it would make the skin look rather leathery at a distance, but when you get close to it and feel it, it would be rougher, pebbly, but still rather soft like a bird’s foot. Some animals, like Edmontosaurus had a mosaic of tiny scales where the animal would flex, with sections of larger, bumpier scales in between. And then there are the more armored ones on Sauropods and Ceratopsians. Overall, each dinosaur is going to look different from what you see in Jurassic Park.

But, in short, a dinosaur with feathers is more accurate than one without them.

Other weird skin-related tissues include: Edmontosaurus annectens of the animal having a crest of soft tissue or wattle like that of a chicken, Tarbosaurus bataar having a throat pouch like a modern frigate bird, and Diplodocus having Iguana-like spines down their back (though how big they are in proportion to the rest of the body is unknown).

Modern birds have a myriad of fleshy formations on their heads, as well as bizarre ways of arranging feathers. From turkeys and chickens, to kiwi whiskers and quails topknots, don’t be afraid to use them to lend character to your creatures.

Colors

The last part to talk about is color. We actually do know the coloration of a few dinosaurs. Psittacosaurus and a medium sized ankylosaur Borealopelta have deer-like countershading coloration. A tan brown up top with a lighter color for their belly and dark patches around the face or armored scutes. Yes, even armored Ankylosaurs have camouflage. And those were scaly animals for the most part, most color information comes from feathers. Anchiornis feathers are largely black with blotches of gray, splashes of white (forming a white background with black spots across on the wings), and a brilliant red crest. Sinosauropteryx has a color pattern very similar to that of a modern coati, orange-brown up top with a lighter belly, bandit-mask of orange-brown over its face and white/orange-brown stripes running up its tail like a ring-tailed lemur. Finally, the proto-bird dinosaurs Archaeopteryx and Microraptor were black for the most part, with Archaeopteryx having white tips, and Microraptor’s black being more iridescent-black.

This means that, color wise, we have a lot of options between these findings and what we see in modern birds. Animals that rely on camouflage would do their best to match their environment: browns, greens, and blacks being common. But we’d also see brilliant colors for display, possibly leading to dances that go with the colors. Predatory dinosaurs might have colorations similar to eagles and hawks of today. Think first of where the animal lives and what it’s doing. Then you’re going to have to think of birds or other animals that fill a similar basic role and see what catches your eye.

I Blame Society

There’s only so much we can say about behavior that is not tied to the body directly. Footprints tell us some things, but only give us short scenes. Still, we can say a few things with some confidence. There are three ways Dinosaurs group together. The first is in what is best termed a flock. They travel among their own kind as a group for protection. We see this in sauropod trackways, mass grave sites of ceratopsians, and among hadrosaur group nesting sites. It seems Ankylosaurs were mostly solitary. Other dinosaurs seemed to form smaller groups if at all. The next structure is rare and rather speculative: a pack. Popularised among “raptors”, there is also evidence for this among some Tyrannosaurs. A pack is a family unit with parents and children being raised together, sometimes in expanded form. It’s common in mammals, but rare in modern dinosaurs. Only the Harris Hawk displays this social structure, though crows have something...similar, but different crows are always outsmarting things. The last is possibly the most frightening: a bask. Crocodiles can be social animals. In fact, many are. They gather together in certain locations they know food to be plentiful and wait together for it to show up. This is probably best exemplified by the river crossings of wildebeest and zebra in Africa. Crocodiles gather at these points to wait for their prey to arrive, and then work together to take down prey as well as rip it apart. There is evidence of such basks being used by Allosaurus and it is not much of a stretch to extend it to related animals. They gathered by a watering hole in the dry season and took down prey that came to drink.

Wrap-up and Further Reading

This is a lot to digest, but it should give you a very solid handle on how to handle dinosaurs going forward in your stories. They are weird and wonderful animals, but never forget that they are animals and not monsters. It’s fun to hype of the deadliness of predators, but remember: the most dangerous animal in Africa is an herbivore, as are most of the “African Big 5”. Herbivores are more likely to (and more willing to) kill than predators. They just want an easy meal.

If you want more information, and can’t make it to a museum to talk up a volunteer or a resident paleontologist, I suggest checking out the tumblr A Dinosaur a Day, the youtube series Your Dinosaurs are Wrong from the Geek Group, as well as the youtube channel Trey the Explainer.

#How to Write Accurate Dinosaurs #Writing Help #Writing Dinosaurs #Dinosaurs #Writing Advice #Comprehensive Writing Guides #TWH Follower Article Submission #majingojira #Describing dinosaurs

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sesamestreep · 4 years

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stack the deck with wild cards (chapter 2)

(read on AO3)

(start from the beginning)

SUMMARY: Jyn tries to tell Cassian about the pregnancy--and the abortion--but it’s more difficult than she thought it would be. And she was already pretty sure it was going to suck.

A/N: The next installment of the Obvious Child AU. Same warnings apply! See the AO3 links for more details! Discussions of pregnancy, abortion, and unsafe sex abound. Curate your own experience! I love you!

Jyn practically wears a hole in the floor of her apartment from pacing so much, but she does eventually find the courage to tap Cassian’s name on her phone and call him. It’s mid-afternoon on a weekday and she’s gotten precisely nothing done all day because she’s been fretting about this conversation. She tries to remind herself of Bodhi’s reassurances that Cassian will be cool about all of this, but in reality, the only thing that’s actually making her feel better is the thought of getting this part over with, so she can panic about every other aspect of this situation instead.

Cassian mercifully picks up on the second ring. “Hello?” He says, cautiously.

Somehow, despite the fact that she was very intentionally calling him on the telephone, actually hearing his voice still catches her off guard. It doesn’t help that Cassian has a really nice voice, something she’s allowed to notice without it being weird because she's an amateur musician and all. He tends to be pretty quiet in general, but he’s also been know to occasionally go off on a tangent about something he really cares about—some new thing a local politician is doing that he thinks is stupid, or one of the kids he works with doing something amazing with their life that he can’t wait to share—and Jyn somehow does not get bored of listening to him, like she normally would with anyone else who tries to talk to her about politics or children. She’s happy to blame that on the whole nice voice thing and to ignore the part of her brain that’s suggesting maybe she just likes him as a person.

“Hello?” Cassian asks again, sounding more confused this time.

“Cassian, hi,” Jyn says, finally snapping out of her reverie. “It’s Jyn.”

“Yeah, I saw the name on the screen,” he says, not unkindly, and she resists the urge to smack herself on the forehead like she’s in a cartoon.

“Sorry, I, uh, didn’t know if you’d have my number saved or not,” she says, glad he can’t see the way she’s grimacing at her own stupidity.

“Of course I do,” he replies, matter-of-factly. “What can I do for you? Is everything alright?”

Jyn panics at the question and she can’t keep the bristle out of her tone. “Why would something be wrong?”

“I just—I thought something might have happened to Bodhi,” he says, and his tone is hard to read. “You and I don’t normally talk on the phone much.”

We don’t talk much at all , Jyn thinks, petulantly, even though she’s the one who said she would call after they hooked up and then didn’t, so whose fault is it really? If she wanted them to talk more, she could have made that happen and she didn’t. And moreover, she supposes he probably would be her first call if something had happened to Bodhi. They live together after all and, beyond that, Cassian just seems like he’d be good in a crisis. She could imagine leaning on him—trusting him, that is—in a time of stress. Not now, obviously. But in a theoretical situation in an alternate universe where she hadn’t ruined whatever relationship they have or could have with her numerous issues, he’d be the guy to call, she thinks.

“Uh, no, I guess we don’t,” she admits. “Bodhi’s fine, though. So, no worries there.”

“Oh, good,” he replies, with obvious relief. “So, what do you need?”

It doesn’t sound dismissive, but she can’t see him and so she can’t be absolutely certain. Maybe he’s annoyed to hear from her after all this time. It would make sense, but the possibility of it still stings. She forces herself to push past it and keep going.

“I just wanted to tell you—” Jyn is cut off by some murmuring in the background of the call followed by some loud rustling, as if Cassian was blocking the phone’s mic. It only continues for a few seconds, before the sound on the line is clear again.

“Sorry about that, Jyn,” Cassian says, sincerely. “My co-worker needed to ask me something before our meeting and she didn’t realize I was on the phone.”

“Oh,” Jyn says, and that stops her short. She figured he was at work and that wasn’t really the ideal place for him to get this news, but she has no idea what kind of hours he works and she couldn’t bear to put it off any longer. But now, it seems like a terrible idea.

“Do you—I thought you had your own office,” she says, for all it’s a complete non-sequitur. She thought he’d at least be alone when she told him the news.

“Me?” He asks, as if she could mean anyone else. “No, it’s an open floor plan at the office. I just have a cubicle.”

“Oh,” she says again. The idea of breaking this news to Cassian when he’s in full view of his co-workers and won’t be able to process it in private suddenly feels so cruel to Jyn that she can’t even think what to say next.

“Is that a problem?”

“No, no. Not at all. I’m just—I always pictured you as having your own office. Not that I picture you—I don’t think about your work, that is. I just, when I called you, I was imagining an office, that’s all.”

“Right,” Cassian says, evenly. Jyn could sink into the floor, she’s so embarrassed. “Are you sure everything is okay?”

Jyn’s brain is going into panic mode, which is the only explanation for why she blurts out what she does. “I just wanted to know if you were free for dinner,” she practically shouts.

“Dinner?”

“Yes, dinner,” she replies, cheerily, even as the reality of what’s she’s asked hits her like a freight train. That sounds like a date, you moron , her brain shouts at her.

“Me and you?”

Jyn closes her eyes against the embarrassment she feels, both at her suggestion and at his incredulity. “Yeah, me and you,” she answers, and with her eyes shut, she can allow herself to enjoy the idea of it, of getting dinner with him. Like they’re just normal people that like each other and everything is simple.

“When?”

“Is tonight too soon?”

“I don’t have any other plans,” he says and Jyn thinks he might sound nervous. It makes her feel incredible and terrible at the same time. “Did you have somewhere in mind?”

“Um, there’s this Thai place in my neighborhood that I really like,” she says, naming the first place she can think of. Besides, if she has to have this awful conversation over dinner, it might as well be at a place she likes. “If you like Thai food, that is.”

“Yeah. Yes. That sounds great.”

“I’ll send you the address. Could you meet me for 7 o’clock?”

“I’ll have to come directly from work, but if that’s okay with you, 7 is fine.”

“Totally okay with me,” she says, absently thinking of the sweater-and-a-button-up ensembles he normally wears to work and if that’s what he’ll wear to the restaurant tonight. She wonders if he’ll have the sleeves rolled up in the way she finds stupidly attractive for no discernible reason.

“Great,” he says, brightly and then clears his throat. “I’ll see you then.”

“I’m looking forward to it,” Jyn replies, and then wishes she could take it back. She always likes seeing him, but under the circumstances, it sounds so cheery and fake.

Cassian, for his part, seems caught off-guard, but he recovers fairly quickly. “I am too.”

They eventually run out of pleasant almost-sign-offs and have to actually say goodbye and hang up, which leaves Jyn in her empty apartment to continue freaking out. Why had she put this conversation off even further? Obviously, telling him at work was not a great plan, but tricking him into thinking they’re going to have a nice dinner—maybe he even thinks she was asking him out on a date—is somehow worse. The only advantage to this new plan is that he’s very unlikely to cause a scene in a public place. Then again, Jyn has a hard time imagining Cassian causing a scene anywhere. He’s so calm and collected most of the time. That bodes well for how he’ll take her news, but she can’t really be sure.

After texting him the address for the restaurant, Jyn copes with the stress of her impending dinner by trying on literally every outfit she owns, in order to figure out what to wear. It can’t be too fancy or too sexy because she needs Cassian to know it’s not a date, but she also doesn’t want to look casual or frumpy, though she doesn’t examine her motives for wanting to look good for this awkward dinner too closely. By the end of this process, most of her clothing is in a pile on her bed that she will have to clear off later in order to go to sleep—a problem for future Jyn, as always—and she’s selected a pair of black overalls that seem to be the item with the least paint on them in her entire wardrobe to wear over a cropped sweater. It’s a cute outfit that doesn’t explicitly scream “DATE NIGHT” but also doesn’t make her feel hideous, which, for all her pregnancy isn’t far along, is a hard feeling to come by, thanks to the hormones.

She picks out shoes to match and even puts on some makeup and tries to get her bangs to look normal, which kills enough time that, if she walks to the restaurant instead of being lazy and taking a cab, she might actually beat Cassian there, even though he’s aggressively early to everything. After the obligatory search for wherever she left her keys—a daily ritual for her—she sets out for the restaurant feeling only a little queasy with what she assumes are nerves.

The restaurant is busy enough for a weekday evening but Jyn only has to wait a few minutes for a table. She warns the waiter she’s expecting someone and orders an iced tea while she waits. She bobs one knee up and down furiously underneath the table, anxious for Cassian to show up and secretly wishing he won’t so she can just go home and pretend none of this is really happening. Though she tries not to, she still watches the door like a hawk, practically jumping out of her seat every time someone walks through the main entrance.

Cassian shows up at 7:02 PM, leaving Jyn very little time to freak out alone, for all it felt like an eternity. She’s watching as he comes through the door and speaks to the hostess, so she sees him run a hand through his hair in what she assumes is a nervous gesture and her throat goes very dry, both at how attractive he is and at the idea of fucking up his night like she’s about to. It’s just then that the hostess points in her direction and Cassian’s gaze lands on her, which means Jyn gets to watch as his polite but guarded look melts into something more familiar and affectionate and relieved. He’s relieved to see her , she thinks, incredulously, even as she waves at him. Did he think she would stand him up? Did he think he imagined their entire phone call?

“Hi,” he says, a little breathlessly, as he reaches the table.

Jyn stands abruptly from her seat, for lack of anything better to do and leans into him at the same moment he leans towards her. She has a brief moment of panic where she thinks he might kiss her—not that a kiss from him would be a bad thing, generally speaking, but she would feel guilty under the circumstances—and so she swerves gracelessly to the left. Her mouth collides with the side of his face as he wraps an arm around her in a loose hug and she realizes, belatedly, that she completely misjudged what he was going for. She doesn’t allow herself to linger in the embrace, even if she kind of wants to, and pulls back quickly, before she can get used to the warm weight of his hand on her back.

“I’m sorry I’m late,” he says, when she’s dropped back into her seat and he’s busied himself with removing his jacket and scarf.

Jyn resists the urge to laugh at that, knowing he’s being completely earnest. He was two minutes late, that’s nothing, she wants to say, but she waves off his apology without a word.

“Did you have any trouble finding the place?” She asks, instead.

“No, not at all,” he says, as he sits across from her. “The train was just delayed.”

“As always.”

He smiles at that, leaning forward on his elbows on the table, and it makes Jyn wistful for the version of tonight where they are just out to dinner for fun. In that version, the only thing she has to be nervous about is if they’ll go home together at the end of the night. In reality, she knows there’s no chance of that happening, but some part of her longs for it. She wishes she’d called him two months ago, back when things were simple—or, at least, simpler—and asked him to this same restaurant. It could have been nice, feeling these nerves for all the good reasons instead of why she has them now.

“So, I was—”

“Have you—?”

They both speak at the same time and Cassian’s eyes crinkle at the corners when he laughs, which is so unfairly cute that Jyn can’t even laugh in return at their shared mishap.

“You go,” he says.

“I, uh—” Jyn starts to say, but she’s interrupted by the waiter returning with her drink and asking if he can get Cassian anything.

“Just water, thank you.”

“Are you sure?” Jyn asks before she can stop herself. She doesn’t know why she thinks adding alcohol to this situation will help, but she also thinks he might want to drink once he hears her news. “It’s my treat.”

Cassian looks puzzled by this, but his features clear after a second. “I’m good, really,” he says, before turning back to the waiter. “Thank you.”

The waiter hurries off, leaving them alone again. Cassian opens his menu and begins scanning through the first section, before looking up at her with obvious concern.

“Do you already know what you’re getting?” He asks.

“Oh,” Jyn says, flattening her palm on her unopened menu. “Yes, but just because I always get the same thing here. Their pad see ew is really good.”

Cassian nods, as if this is fascinating information to him. “I’m going to have to read through the menu, unfortunately,” he says, apologetically.

She makes an exaggerated hand gesture that is meant to bat his apology away but in truth conveys absolutely nothing. “Take your time,” she says, to clarify.

Cassian reading his menu gives Jyn some time to regroup and also to note that he is, in fact, wearing a navy blue cable knit sweater over what looks to be a light blue button-up. The sleeves aren’t rolled up to his elbows, which is disappointing, but she assumes that’s because it’s freezing outside. He’s also biting his lip as he concentrates on reading, which is simultaneously very cute and completely hot. She realizes she’s been staring at him intently half a second after Cassian does.

“What’s the matter?” He asks, looking embarrassed.

“No, it’s—nothing!”

“I should be making conversation, shouldn’t I?”

“No, don’t worry about that,” Jyn says, hurriedly. It’s not like she can just tell him she was staring because he’s stupidly handsome. “I just got lost in thought for a second.”

“Do you come here often?” He asks, completely sincerely and Jyn laughs before she can stop herself.

“Sorry,” she says, when she’s regained her self-control. “That’s just such a line. I know you didn’t mean it that way, but—”

Before she can finish her sentence or Cassian can defend himself like he clearly wants to, something lands at their feet with a thump and a rattle. Cassian leans down to retrieve it and returns with one of those baby toys with different bits that all make different noises or have different textures. It’s done up entirely in bright primary colors and seems to have a smiling puppy’s head at the very top. A screech from the table behind them alerts Jyn to the item’s true owner.

Cassian twists in his chair to offer the toy back to a chunky toddler with a mop of riotous curls who’s sitting in a high chair at the next table over. “I take it this is yours,” he says, very seriously to the baby, who squawks delightedly at the sight of the toy.

The child’s mother, sitting with an older child on the other side of the table, gives Cassian a grateful smile. “Can you say ‘thank you?’” She asks in a pleasant voice. The baby just gurgles in response, leaving the woman to thank Cassian herself.

Cassian turns back to Jyn with an amused smile on his face that honestly overwhelms her. It’s rare to see him smile without a hint of self-deprecation or irony to it. If she put her mind to it, she could probably count the number of genuine smiles like that she’s seen on one hand. He’s almost always pulling them back, reining them in, for whatever reason.

“Anyway,” he says, turning his full attention back to her. “You were making fun of me for using a generic line on you.”

“I wasn’t,” Jyn says, and can’t help smiling herself. “I knew that’s not what you meant. You were really just asking if I come here often.”

“Yes, I was.”

“I do, to answer your question. It’s my favorite place for takeout, when I’m too lazy to cook, which is almost always.”

“You don’t eat in? With this ambience?” He asks, gesturing around the place.

“Hey, don’t judge their decor,” she fires back, more defensive than she would have expected herself to be. There are a million string lights everywhere, and the walls are painted a very aggressive shade of red, and the owners decorate to the nines for every single holiday, which means there’s hearts and lace and chubby Cupids wielding arrows everywhere for Valentine’s Day. “It’s fun.”

“Very,” Cassian agrees, with one of his small cryptic smiles. It makes Jyn remember with sudden clarity how fun it was to kiss him, to feel that smile against her lips.

She shakes herself out of it, focusing on the present. “I suppose your favorite restaurant is very chic and minimalist with its decor,” she says.

“No, I wouldn’t say that,” he replies, giving the matter some consideration. “Honestly, I don’t go out for dinner a lot. I prefer to cook at home.”

“Well, I’ve been to your apartment,” she says, trying not to feel inadequate by comparison. “It’s pretty chic.”

It doesn’t occur to her what she’s said until after the words are out of her mouth. She obviously just meant that she’s been over to visit Bodhi before, but when Cassian gives her a surprised look in response, she realizes she has also unwittingly brought to mind the time they hooked up. It’s not an artful segue by any means, but she does need to get this over with and stop pretending they can just sit here and have a nice meal together, like normal people.

“Actually, that reminds me,” she begins, bracing herself for how much this is going to suck, “there’s something I wanted to tell you—”

Their neighbor at the next table chooses that perfect moment to toss their horrible mutated puppy toy at Jyn’s feet again and it breaks her concentration. Cassian, who’d been watching her and listening intently a second beforehand, spots the toy on the ground and leans to pick it up again before Jyn can even think to react. Instead of just turning around and handing it over again, he actually gets up and goes over to the baby this time, crouching in front of the high chair.

“You know, if you keep throwing this around, you might lose it,” he says, very solemnly, to the child. “Somebody might kick it into the kitchen. My friend over there might accidentally take it home with her.” The baby swivels around to look at Jyn and smiles at her with drooly gums that do nothing to make her want a child of her own. She smiles weakly in response.

“Anything could happen,” Cassian continues, drawing the baby’s attention back to him. “I don’t want you to lose it. Your mother doesn’t want you to lose it. You don’t want to lose it.” He’s saying all of this with that faux-serious tone people adopt with children, as if they’re grown-ups who understand what’s going on but also with a slight sing-song lilt to it. “So, no more throwing, okay?”

The baby shrieks and reaches for the toy, which Cassian pulls just slightly out of reach, delighting the child further.

“Do we have an agreement?” He asks, holding out his hand, as if the child is a small businessman he’s making a deal with. The baby smacks a drool-soaked palm against Cassian’s in response, which makes him smile. “Very good.”

As he stands up, the child’s mother says something quietly to him, which Cassian waves off nonchalantly. He turns and drops back into his seat across from Jyn as if nothing has happened.

“Sorry about that,” he says. “You were saying…”

Jyn’s throat feels completely dry and speaking feels beyond her abilities at the moment, so she reaches for her drink before she replies. “You have a way with kids, huh?” She says, gesturing to their friends at the next table.

“Oh, that?” He asks, shrugging it off. “I guess so. I helped a lot with my sister when she was that age. My grandmother tells me I was so obsessed with babies that my parents had another kid just so I’d stop bugging them about it.”

“Huh,” Jyn says, trying to sound noncommittal while she’s panicking internally. God, of course he loves kids. Why would this be easy?

Cassian, however, is oblivious to her distress, looking back over his shoulder at the family at the next table. “I’m really excited to have a bunch of little ones running around soon,” he says, out of nowhere, and Jyn’s stomach turns over.

She’s standing before she can even form a thought. She doesn’t know what she’s doing, but she knows she can’t stay here. The sudden movement draws Cassian’s attention back to her and he looks up at her in alarm.

“Jyn, are you okay?”

“I, uh,” she says, struggling for a lie that will get her out of there fast enough. “I think I left the oven on at my place, actually. So I have to go, right now.”

“Oh,” Cassian says, looking concerned and maybe even a little disappointed. “Well, I can go with you, or walk you out, if you—” He goes to put his coat on and Jyn throws her arm out to stop him, which just alarms him further.

“No need,” she says, half-frantic. She fishes her wallet out of her coat pocket and takes a few bills out, flinging them at the table in her urgency. “For my drink.”

“Oh, there’s no—”

“I’ll, uh—I’ll call you,” Jyn says, already rushing for the door. It doesn’t occur to her until she’s halfway to her apartment that she said the exact same thing the last time she ran out on him too.

#rebelcaptain #jyn erso #cassian andor #rogue one #stack the deck verse #obvious child #obvious child au #star wars #abortion #abortion tw #pregnancy #pregnancy tw #my fic #my writing #anyway here's wonderwall #otp: built on hope #otp: your mother and i have been together ever since

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fortunatelyhauntedblackcherry · 3 years

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Moonshine - A Beetlejuice Fanfiction 15

Warning: cussing, some parts are kinda nsft? But no so much so, no probs I think. Slight mention of past trauma.

Ari and Rei was standing before Sofía's door, both kinda annoyed by their big sister's behaviour by now.

- Don't be ridiculous! It's been almost a week! - said Rei and pounded her fist on Sofía's door... again. For the fourth time. - You can't still be mad at us! - no answer came. Rei threw her head back and frowned. - Ugh, Sof, you haven't made anything sweet since monday! If I don't have some cake soon, I might die! Do you want me to die, woman?! - Ari giggled at Rei's sudden selfish outburst. She shood her sister away so she could get to the door.

- Come on, cariña, you love salvaging! And now we can do it in our own home! We don't even have to go out! - said Ari and tapped the door with her fingertips lightly. - Por favor guapa....

- Cut the spanish crap, boo, it won't work! - interrupted Sofi. - You snake-ass bitches shut me up ON PURPOSE, AND you broke the laws of our Sister Code. Which YOU TWO CAME UP WITH, BY THE WAY, BUT IT SEEMS LIKE I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS IT'S FUCKING IMPORTANT!!! - Ari breathed out like a horse and leaned against the wall. She closed her eyes for a second and when she opened them, Beetlejuice was there, right before her face, dangling in the air upside down. He flashed a toothy grin at his favorite breather.

- Hi there! - he said in an aroused tone. Ari sighed and scruffed his hair.

- Hello Bug. - the demon did a little half cartwheel in the air, then put his feet down on the ground. He pointed at Sofía's door with his thumb.

- How's it going with the little Drama Queen? She still won't come down from her tower?

- She can't be real dude. - said Rei with a sigh while rubbing the bridge of her nose.

- Sorry for this taking so long. - commented Ari with a light smile. She then turned towards the door and shouted: - SOMEONE'S PEOPLE SKILLS ARE A BIT RUSTY. - Beej leaned back towards the wall on the opposite side of the hallway. He shrugged with a handsign.

- No probs. - he rubbed his palms together. - This gives me a lot more time to fantasize, cause, hey, let's just look at you pretty girls, being all dolled up for me. - he said as he paced up and down on Ari and Rei. Ari wore a light purple dungaree with little bats all over it, a black cropped tshirt and a sparkly bat-shaped leather choker. Her nails were dark purple on both her toes and her hands. Half of her messy brown hair was let loose, the other half was put in a high ponytail on the top of her head with a black sparkly ribbon. Rei had a cropped, oversized, black Harley Davidson shirt on with a pair of cut-out jeans and black fishnets. Her copper-colored hair was free. They both crossed their arms before their chests and did an annoyed little frown. Beej stepped closer to them, held both their chins and lifted their faces up lightly. He summoned two more hands and with one, he caressed Ari's face, while with the other he pulled a lock of red hair out of Rei's face. - I was feeling a little off today, but you've turned me on again! - he released a kinda animalistic, guttural growl out while he pulled the girls a bit closer to him. Then with a lowered voice, he naughtily giggled. Ari tried so hard to tell herself that his gravelly, kinda smokey voice didn't make her knees tremble, but gosh she couldn't do anything about it. Being turned on by a fuckin corpse was so unnatural and was wrong on so many levels but... Gods what could this voice do with me if he whispered something into my ear while being on top of me. - I can't wait to have my own little private space and beat off to the thought of you, babies. - aaaand that snapped Ari out of fantasizing. She pulled her upper lip.

- Ew. - she commented as she shoved Beetlejuice away. He was laughing so hard his hair lit up. He made his extra hands disappear and stack his tongue out at Ari.

- Ya nasty. - said Rei with a pointing finger held up. Beej stack his tongue out at her too. Ari turned to her sister and shrugged with her hands held up.

- Nah he's just a man. - Beej hissed with his snakelike tongue still out and crossed his arms before his chest. Rei turned to Ari as if she haven't seen the demon at all.

- Is he though? When we last asked he said he has mischief in his pants not... - she held her little finger up and wiggled it. Ari burst out with laughter and had to hold her mouth so she wouldn't spit on her sister. Beej raised an eyebrow and bit his lower lip while smiling. He reached for his belt buckle.

- Well, you can check if you want...

The thing that stopped him from removing his pants was Sofía's shouting from the other side of the door.

- Oh that fuckin demon with the attitude problem is there to help you too?!? - BJ sighed as he started redoing his belt.

- Hey, I only called you a melodramatic bitch yesterday cause you're acting like one! - he shook his index finger towards the door. Then shrugged. - And, by the way, I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

- Plus, he's nice. - commented Ari while looking at the door. Beetlejuice's hair turned into a light pink and neon green mess. He raised his shoulders up to his ears, put his hands in his trousers's pockets, put his weight from one leg to the other and smiled widely. Cute little wrinkles and holes appeared on his chubby face as he did so.

- Awwww, thanks, babes!

- No, he's not! - interrupted Sofi. - You guys forget that even though he does nice things like saving us from burglars and letting us rummage through the stuff in the attic before he makes the stuff we don't need disappear, he's still a demon! A FUCKIN DEMON!!! What if one day he gets bored and hurts us?! - the sisters looked at each other with a certain look. Maybe what she said was somewhat true...

Even though Beetlejuice didn't really understand human emotions yet (Rei told him the other day that it was like living with Sheldon Cooper, even though Beetlejuice didn't have the slightest idea of who that was), he did know what that look meant. The girls had second thoughts. He already realized that Sofía was the most serious one of the sisters, and that she could easily plant ideas into their heads. I can't let her fuck me off by the side of my new BFFFF... I should scare her. That will do the trick. He cleared his throat and held the girls' shoulders. He pulled them away from the door and made a little "I'll handle this" gesture with his hands. He quickly reajusted his thoughts and found his ground, so after a quick second he let a devilish, nasty smile find its way to his face. He stepped closer to the door and held both sides of the doorframe.

- Oh honey, if I wanted to hurt anyone here... - he said in a honeyed tone, then put his head through the door. - ...I would have already done so. - the last part sounded like it came from every possible direction, and had a weird smokey effect to it. His voice also dropped a couple octaves. Ari could hear in his voice that Beetlejuice was flashing an evil smile at her sister.

The girls heard Sofía growl and by the huffing, grab something heavy. Beetlejuice all of a sudden pulled his head out of the door just a nanosecond before something crashed against the door. Beej pulled the side of his lips and closed one of his eyes.

- That was an old camera. - Rei took her glasses off and rubbed her temples.

- Dwight you ignorant slut... - BJ threw his head back and growled. Okay time for Plan B. Being nice. Ew.

- Ugh, it's so tragic that someone this sexy as me has to go through this much to have some little privacy! - he growled then sighed and held the doorframe again. He took a deep breath and put his head through the door again.

- Look, Sofía, honey... No STOP, STOP, PUT THE CHAIR DOWN! - the girls heard Beej stop shouting for a second, then breathe out with a little "whew". - Good girl. Okay, see sweetcheeks, the easiest way to get into the attic without a key is to break the door in. - he said in a legitimately sweet tone. He let go of the doorframe and with a little whirl of a hand, a huge axe appeared in his right hand. He put it through the door. - And I'd gladly give this tiny fella to you so you could let some steam outofya.

Beetlejuice stepped back from the door, axe still in his hand. The door creaked and opened up. Sofía was still holding the door handle, a lock of her fluffy hair dangling before her eyes while the rest was pulled together with a tealblue scrunchie. She had comfy kneehigh jeans and a tealblue top with the picture of a maneating siren on. Her nails were mirrorlike and sharp. She huffed the lock out, then stepped closer to the demon and grabbed the axe out of his hand. He answered with a huge shiteating grin. Since Sofía was way taller than Beetlejuice, she easily rose above him and pushed her index finger into his chest. She wrinkled her brows.

- That's a good idea. But I'm still mad at you. - she turned around and pointed at her sisters. - All 3 of you. - Ari rolled her eyes.

- I'll make you the strawberry dress in lavender. - she said. Sofía let her finger down.

- ...kay I'm not that mad anymore. - Rei growled and rolled her eyes with her head thrown back.

- Sof, bloody hell, why are you the way that you are?

The door to the attic was at the end of the hallway, with a couple stairs leading up to it. Beetlejuice floated through the door, saying he's not comfortable next to Sofía while she's holding an axe so he would wait on the other side of the red door. Rei and Ari stopped a few steps behind Sof as well.

Sofía brandished the axe and cut into the door. The wood cracked and a part of the door broke in. The girl swinged the axe again and again, then looked through the hole she created and she shouted:

- HEEERE'S JOHNNY!

The girls woo-hood and smiled at their sister's horror movie reference. Sofía cut into the door a couple times more, creating a hole big enough for them to go through. She put the axe down and stepped into the attic.

The attic was kind of big, but it was full of boxes and random stuff. The 2 windows on the right side of the room were barely visible by the boxes shoved before them. The walls had wooden paneling on them, but that was barely visible because of the shelves as well. The floor had a couple old, hole filled carpets scattered around. And everything was dusty. Not just simply dusty, everything had at least 10 centimeters of dust on it. Mountains of dirt, one might say.

- Wow, it's like nobody came in here since... I dunno, the 90's. - said Rei as she peaked her head through the door. When all 3 of them were in the room, Beetlejuice put his feet down on the ground and unfolded his hands.

- Welcome to my humble hideaway! - he said dramatically, then clapped over his head and the lights turned up. He took a step towards the girls and with that, his shoes got tangled up in a hole in a carpet and he fell back with a loud thud. His fall filled the air with dust particles. The girls all coughed. Sofía looked at Beej and between two coughs, she said:

- I didn't know a bloody demon could be clumsy too.

- The fuck you mean. - answered BJ, still laying on the floor, looking at the ceiling.

- That you fell over.

- I did not! - he said, holding his middle finger up. - I attacked the floor! - Sofía stepped closer with hands folded across her chest and a disbelieving smile.

- ...backwards? - Beetlejuice thought for a minute then a legit lightbulb appeared above his head for a slight second. He pulled a smug grin, fingergunned and winked at the oldest sister.

- I'm skilled.

Sofía rolled her eyes, waved her hand and stepped aside to take a look inside the nearest box. Ari stepped next to Beej and offered him a hand.

- Come now Mister Skilled, you're dirty enough, you don't need to roll around in the dirt as well. - Beetlejuice grabbed her hand and tilted his head sideways. Then flashed an evil, smutty grin. Uh-oh. Ari knew what that smile meant.

Beetlejuice all of a sudden pulled Ari down. As soon as the girl fell on his chest, the demon quickly turned them around so Ari would be on her back and he could be right on top of her. Beetlejuice pinned Ari's hands to the ground above her head with a hand and with the other, he held her chin playfully. His green hair had some magenta streaks in it. Ari's heart was racing. Her demon buddy was basically lying on her, and the coldness radiating from his body made Ari tingle. Shit, I was fantasizing about this scenario... Oh wow that's a big dick even without an erection... NO ARI THAT'S WRONG. STOP IT. You might be horny, you slut, I get it, we didn't have any proper action in a year or so, but he's your best friend... Your pervy, always horny best friend who literally just told you, 5 minutes ago, that he's gonna jerk off while picturing you naked... But he's still your very dead best friend, which you haven't had in a long time. That's a point you should consider too... But that devilish smile... And his weight, pushing my body down...

- What you say we get you dirty as well, doll? - whispered Beetlejuice in a definitely horny tone. Ari tried to say something but no words came out of her mouth. Beetlejuice let out a guttural, small laugh... and was instantly stopped by a book hitting his head.

Rei had a couple books in her hands, and was ready to throw another at the demon. She had determination in her eyes. Beetlejuice let Ari's hands go and sat back on her belly to stick his tongue out at Rei. Ari saw the opportunity and immediately started tickling BJ's sides. He fell over, laughing his ass off, screaming at Ari to stop 'cause he's ticklish. A couple neon green, glowing tears rolled off his cheeks. He tried to push Ari away, who only got more dedicated to tickling her undead bestie to his second death by seeing the tears and hearing his screams. Rei facepalmed and growled.

- GET A ROOM, YA TWO! - she shouted. Beej was finally able to grab Ari's hands and stop her. He flashed a devilish smile as his hair turned neon green completely and he summoned 2 extra limbs to tickle Ari back. But as soon as he reached for the girl's uncovered sides (her croptop left her sides naked), her eyes flinched and she pulled her legs to her chest. Beetlejuice saw the uncomfortability in her eyes instantly. He quickly let go and jumped to his feet. Even though he was a demon, a kind of pain in the ass, he didn't want to scare Ari. Not like this, at least. A good old jumpscare is fine, but scarring your best friend is a douchebag move. He knew, he was still kinda pissed at his last best friend-o for literally scarring him.

Plus, Rei made him promise that he'll be a nice emotional support demon boy.

- Am I overstepping my boundaries? - Ari kinda shook her head but Beej raised an eyebrow at her. To which Ari sighed. She did the "más o menos" handsign. Beej offered her a hand. - Alright, no belly touching thingie then. Imma keep my hands to myself, sugar. - he pulled Ari to her feet, but before letting her hand go, he pulled her closer with a smutty grin. - At least for now. - Ari playfully scruffed BJ's hair with a giggle and pushed him away.

The weird and unusual group quickly got to work. They made some space on the floor and put several boxes down. Of course, Beetlejuice didn't help (lazy bum), he was just floating around and made quirky and pervy comments. And made the girls laugh. God that made him feel all tingly inside. A couple strikes in his hair even turned orange, he was so proud of himself, because, you know, being scared of is one thing but making someone laugh their asses off is even better.

The girls got little pillows to sit on from the living room. On their way back up their pets accompanied them. As soon as Minerva spotted a box, she ran straight past the demon she hated oh so much and jumped into her new favorite resting place on earth. She got comfortable very quickly and fell asleep while purring loudly. Sirius sniffed around the place. The black dog quickly turned brownish grey as he went through the attic. Rei shook her head and established that during the afternoon Sirius will take a bath, doesn't matter if he'd like that or not. Ari snorted when Beetlejuice flinched and made a disgusted face at the idea of a bath.

As soon as the sisters sat down into a cozy little circle on the floor, BJ snapped, disappeared, then a couple seconds later reappeared with a green puff of smoke next to Ari. He was holding a bunch of sweets and snacks, like gummy worms, Sugus, a bag of Boca Bits, Lay's Gourmets and Reese's packs. He sat down sideways next to his friendo with outstretched legs, then layed down and put his head in Ari's lap.

Ari was always a very touchy-feely, passionate, sentimental person. She never thought much of hugs, kisses, sweet embraces or just genuinely touching someone; these actions felt nice and natural for her. She turned out to be like this because of two reasons: one, she grew up in a household where hugs and words of affection were constant. Two, spaniards are naturally passionate and rather handsy. It's basically embedded in their heritage. Although, as one might guess, for a short period of time she was nothing like this. She got uncomfortable when someone wanted to touch her abdomen or sides while hugging, she couldn't let anyone near her in an intimate way and such tings. She hated that period of time in her life, but she considered herself lucky that she had help when she needed it, and slowly but surely she could return to her old self. She still had some issues, but she was working on them.

So knowing how she was, she didn't think much of BJ snuggling up to her; she already got used to how touch-starved her new undead best friend was. She also noticed that he was basically addicted to body heat. Anytime Ari hugged him - which, he honestly still didn't really understand why she did - at first he was startled, he didn't know what to do, he was just standing in one place and didn't move at all, but as soon as the girl tried to let him go he quickly wrapped a couple arms around her and held her close for long long minutes. He really liked that Ari didn't wear any shoes in the house, so he was even taller than her then normally. This way he could rest his chin upon her head... And smell her. I know. Creepy. Ari didn't notice though. What she did notice was his stench and how he almost choked her to death yesterday when he got too wound up in their hug. I'll make him take a bath even if he kills me, she thought.

She was telling herself that she hugged him so many times because she knew (based on the things that BJ told him about his past and mother already, even though it wasn't much) that he needed comfort and hugging did the thing... But to be honest, she hugged him and let him be all touchy-feely with her because it just felt nice. She didn't feel any discomfort when he touched her. It felt like they've known each other for ages. Plus, he was cute and soft as a plushie. And stinky. Very stinky. She pulled her nose into wrinkles.

- Bug, I adore your charm and everything, but honey if you'd be a fairy, you'd be called Stinkerbelle. - Beetlejuice looked up with glowing eyes. Literally.

- Awww thanks babe! - Ari shook her head.

- That... That was NOT a compliment. That was so not a compliment. - BJ crossed his arms before his chest and threw his stripey, forked tongue out at Ari. Ari clicked her tongue. - Come on, you ARE stinky as hell hombre! You wouldn't die by taking... - Beej stopped Ari by showing a handful of gummy worms into her mouth. She rolled her eyes and wrinkled her forehead angrily at the demon. He just smiled and threw his tongue out again.

Ari, just like her sisters, reached for a box and started going through it. They showed everything they found to each other so they could sort every little thing out: there was an empty box for stuff they needed, there was a dump for stuff they wanted to disappear, and there was an empty box for BJ. Ari reached into the box and shook her head.

- There's only a bunch of unfinished projects in here, guys. Let's see. - she lifted some very thick books out. - Books on computers... - she reached into the box again. - A "spin-your-own-yarn" kit? Home-brewed kombucha?

- Ew that most of the times tastes like an armpit. - commented Rei. Ari put everything that she lifted out on the dump and while reaching into the box again, she looked at her undead pal laying in her lap, shoving Boca Bits into his mouth.

- Tell me Beej, who left all this stuff here? I'm pretty sure it wasn't the previous owners cause, hey, they couldn't climb the stairs. - Beetlejuice shrugged.

- Adam and Babs. - he said with a full mouth. - Owners in the late eighties. Middleclass, suburban and white... A boring but very sexy couple. - Sof chuckled. Beej's bright green hair started turning a little purple. The girls already knew that purple meant sadness. He looked down at his stripey jacket and started playing with his buttons. His face turned all foggy. Literally. Ari stroked his forehead.

- What's the matter B? Did I say something wrong? - he shrugged again.

- Nothing, just... - he turned his head and looked at Rei. He started snapping, like he was trying to say something but didn't find the word. - Sugar, what's that feeling you feel when someone leaves you and you still wish for them to come back cause you... You know... What's that word? - Rei raised her eyebrows.

- Miss them? - Beej pointed at her with enthusiastic eyes and snapped again.

- YES! THAT'S THE ONE! - he looked back up at Ari, still being a little purple. - Yeah, I kinda miss them. They were fun folks... - his eyes wandered to the object Ari was holding. He gasped as his hair turned back to green, like his sadness was blown away by that black and white little object. He quickly snapped the thing out of the girl's hands. - AWWW THAT'S MY UKULELE! - he sat up and hugged the instrument. - I've been looking for this for years! - Sof smiled at the demon's genuinely happy reaction. Maybe he's not as bad as I thought...

- I didn’t know you were such a musical guy. - she said. Beej quickly snapped and reappeared before her. He pinched her cheek.

- Sweetcheeks, I'm the ghost with the most, name one thing I'm not.

- Helpful when it comes to moving boxes. - she said without hesitation. BJ rolled his eyes. Sof pushed him away by his head, which caused the demon to fall back on his backside. He threw his hands up in the air, still holding the ukulele.

- Come on, you can't blame a guy for loving to watch those sweet litle rumps of yours swingin' around! - he said, looked up at Ari and winked.

The next second, he was laying in Ari's lap again. He started tuning the ukulele while humming and gently singing.

- 🎶The Barbara you marriiiiied, she is dead and burieeed six feet below-uow-ouw... Ouw-ouw-ouw~~~🎶

- What's this song? - asked Ari as she put a fancylooking porcelain butterfly aside. Beej shrugged. He didn't even look up from the instrument.

- Oh nothing, just a little somethin'-somethin' that I can't get out of my head. - he played a couple notes on the ukulele, then did a proud little fistbump. - Yessss, works like a new one!

The girls got rid of a couple stuff, they emptied like a box when Rei called out to Beej.

- Hey, scruffyhead, could you play something for us? - an enthusiastic, shy light glistened through the demon's eyes. He tried to cover his happiness with a macho shrug.

- Sure, why not. - he sat up from Ari's lap and positioned himself in criss-cross-applesauce while leaning against Ari's shoulder. - Here goes nothin'. - he cleared his throat and started singing while playing his little instrument. - 🎶You're...🎶 - the girls all got wide-eyed at the clear voice that left the demon's lips. It even sounded somewhat humanlike? - 🎶You're gonna be fiiine... On the other siiiide...🎶 DIE! - he shouted suddenly in his normal, gravelly voice. - YOU'RE ALL GONNA DIE! - he pointed at the girls with the neck of his ukulele. Gosh he seemed crazy. - YOU'RE ALL GONNA DIE! 🎶I'll...🎶 - he changed back to the sing-song voice again, leaving a comedic impression behind, making Ari and Sofía cackle. - 🎶I'll be your guiiiide... To the other siiiiiide...🎶

- AWMYGOSH YOU HAVE A LITTLE BEERGUT! - interrupted Rei. She cupped her face with her hands, awed at her discovery.

- Wah... - said the demon while pulling one side of his upper lip into a grimace. Rei clapped little claps.

- I knew my eyes weren't lying! You have a dadbod! That's so sweet! Your beergut is so cute! - Beetlejuice quickly stood up with arms crossed before his chest, angry red streaks appearing in his greenish-purpleish hair.

- Shut the fuck up, I don't have a beer gut. - he said and held a finger up at Rei. Ari smiled at how sassy he looked. - I have a protective covering for my rock hard abs. - Ari still smiled but something started bugging her. Her friend kind of looked... Wounded? Self-conscious? - Plus, I look pretty fuckin good for a dead bitch, just so you know. - and with that last sentence it was clear for her. Not just the tone, his hair told on him as well. It had an angry red glow to it, but it was mostly purple and blue, just like his stubble. She guessed it might meant that Rei touched a sensitive subject. The girl tugged on the demon's pants, which made him look down. His eyes told Ari she was right. She flashed a humble smile at the demon.

- You really do, Mr. Devilishly Handsome. - and boom, the red glow disappeared. Beetlejuice looked startled. What did she say?!?, thought BJ.

Ari took a quick glance at her sisters. They knew what that look meant. Time to make someone feel good about themselves. That's what their mothers taught them. Rei blinked at the demon with glistening eyes.

- You look very fine! - Wait what the fuck is happening., thought Beetlejuice again. His hair started to change. It got a lot lighter.

- You really do. - said Sofía without even looking up from the box she was going through. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON SERIOUSLY?!?, thought Beetlejuice, now kinda panicking. A light pink streak appeared in his hair, and his stubble almost entirely turned pink at this point. Ari cleared her throat. Sofía looked up and pointed at the demon with a light sigh. - Look homeboy, I still have second thoughts about you, but it's a fact that you're a fine specimen. And it's coming from a chick who's into girls. - Beetlejuice leaned closer to the oldest sister with a toothy grin. Of course he had to cope with humour.

- Aww so I don't have a chance with ya? - Sofía raised an eyebrow.

- I'll seriously punch you in the face bro. - the demon laughed. Hah, cringey situation avoided.

- Seriously though, we love all body types in this household. - commented Rei. - And yours is very cute and fluffy. - NOPE NOT AVERTED, TIME TO DISAPPEAR, he thought as he started making smoke. - I understand now why Ari hugs you so many times. - that startled him. He looked down on the floor in embarassment, being unable to disappear he was so happy deep down in his little undead heart. He was never genuinely complimented. And these girls made him feel so nice...

- Oh calláte... - said Ari in a tiny voice as she looked down as well. Good thing BJ haven't seen her face was red as a tomato. Rei ponted at BJ with a gasp.

- AWMYGOSH YOUR HAIR! THAT'S SO CUUUUUTE! - Beetlejuice put his hands, all 4 of them on his totally pink hair.

- S...stop... This is so embarrassing! - he cried out. - You make me cringe at this mortal human bullsh... - he couldn't finish the sentence because Ari launched herself at his neck, pulling him down to a tight awkward hug. - Wha... No! - he said in an embarassed tone right after Rei scooted over with a giggle and hugged his knees. - NO STOP! - Sofía scooted over as well and ruffled his hair in a siblinglike way. - STOP! I HATE YOU ALL!!! - he shouted while trying to get away. But there was no escape from the girls' embrace who were all laughing at the suffering, pink demon at this point.

- Shut up, you like it! - said Ari right before she placed a sloppy kiss on the demon's face. He answered only with a shy smile and a certain pink glow to his body hair.

You can't imagine how much I do.

#alex brightman #beetlegeuse #beetlejuice #beetlejuice fanfiction #beetlejuice oc #beetlejuice the musical #fanfic #fanfiction #lawrence beetlejuice shoggoth #musical!beetlejuice #beetlejuice broadway

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enbycalicocat · 3 years

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Day 10: 5th of February, 2021

At the tender age of almost twenty-six, Ellie already felt as burned out as if she were in fact sixty. She wasn’t even working a ‘proper and serious’ job, as her dad liked to say. Apparently manning a store was not an adult enough job for him. In fact, none of her jobs had been adult enough. Once, Ellie had worked at a book store, which he didn't like either of course. The manager there was about thirty-something, older than Ellie by at least ten years. Or that’s what Ellie thought. And the woman was dedicated to that store. She put her everything into her job. Ellie wondered how she would feel if she heard Ellie’s dad saying her job wasn’t ‘grown-up’ enough.

Probably about as invalidated as Ellie felt.

On top of the ‘kid’ job, Ellie hadn’t graduated from university yet. That one was an ongoing issue with her parents, a very serious one. More than her choice of work. They said her only job was studying (uh, hello? It’s not? She also had a full-time job to attend?) and that they could not consent what she was doing with her academic life (as if she needed their ‘consent’ to take longer to graduate).

The thing was, Ellie wasn't doing it on purpose or anything. She really put a lot of effort into her classes. And she really wanted to graduate, for no better reason than making them happy and get them to stop stressing her with their beliefs of when she should’ve graduated (which wasn't very healthy, Ellie was aware). But she just couldn't. For some reason, university was unbearably exhausting for her. It was something that made her tired to the very marrow of her bones. She hated it, with passion and fierceness. Hated it like nothing in the world.

After nearly six or seven years attending university (she changed degrees after the first two years and had to start again from zero in the new degree), the girl had come to a conclusion. University and her just did not get along well. Mind you, not studying and her. Not learning and her. No. University and her. There was a difference. Ellie liked learning. And she didn’t mind studying. Her problem was university. She didn’t like the courses, didn’t like how they were taught, didn't like the grading system.

Why was she studying then? Because in this country you went nowhere without a university degree. That’s why.

Ellie wanted to go nowhere. But her parents wouldn’t let her.

And hence, the burned out feeling mentioned before.

When life felt particularly crushing, Ellie liked playing simulation games. Specifically, farm simulation games. And that was what the girl was doing currently. The little guy on the screen moved according to the commands from the joystick, the arrows, and the buttons under her fingers, as she made him check to see how tomorrow’s weather would be and if she would have luck today.

I wish I was somebody else.

The guy on screen watered his little patches of crops. The watering can soon needed to be upgraded soon.

Really? Somebody else? With a whole other personality?

Ah, these crops were ready to be picked up, that meant money would be coming in today.

Hmmm. Now that I think about it, no. I don’t want to be someone else. I want to be me. I like me. And my personality. I just don’t like my life. So let me rephrase that. I want to have a different life.

And… Done! All the crops were watered and she had picked up everything that matured. Now, off to sell the results of her hard work.

Another life? What kind of life would you want? What would change? Your major at university? Like you haven’t tried that already.

Ellie ignored her very own voice berating herself as she separated the vegetables. The normal and silver ones would go to the shipping box by the house. The golden and purple ones would be sold at the local produce store. Because the girl cared about her reputation in town and didn’t want the neighbors saying the stuff she grew tasted horrible.

No, I wouldn’t change majors. That would make no difference.

The girl rolled her eyes at the screen in front of her, as if the tiny hardworking guy from the game or the television set could somehow be made responsible for annoying herself.

Well, what then? What kind of life would you want?

Finally at the supermarket, the guy walked over to the cash register and began to sell the crops. What kind of life did I want? She had not the slightest idea. Yet, as she watched the guy standing by the counter, pausing in the middle of counting, an idea occurred to her.

Well, first of all, I would’ve fought harder to give voice to the crippling gender dysphoria I felt when I was younger. I don't know that we would've been able to afford a sex change. Or that my country even allowed that back then. But if I had at least fought to have that very present male 'side' of me acknowledged, I would now be happily living as an androgynous being. Because I didn't, at present time I'm just a girl trying to hide her biological gender characteristics. If hormone therapy was in fact an option back then, and I had started it early enough, I wouldn’t have these annoying piece of crap breasts that do nothing but hurt and bring me trouble.

Continuing to sell the produce she'd harvested, Ellie imagined she'd look just like my character on screen. Slightly masculine, but also slightly femenine. Keeping people guessing as to which category to put her under. She could already picture this new life in her mind.

The day she... no, they, told their parents about how they sometimes feel very male. How sometimes the female gender biological characteristics feel weird, odd, off, like something was missing. Then going to school.

School...

How would school be? The bullying probably would've been the same. But they would feel happier about themselves, about their body, about the way they looked and dressed. They probably would've developed a whole different set of mental issues and gone to the psychologist no matter what. But Ellie wanted to believe that it would've all been better than what her school and younger years where actually like.

Oh, that’s a good start. And then? What else would be different?

Focusing back on the game, she finished with selling, and started buying the new seeds to replant the crops that had been sold. I also needed to buy fertilizer because the one I’d used had disappeared as soon as I picked up the crops. If my production rate continued like this, I would be able to buy the next bag and have more inventory space. And after that, I could expand my crop patches. More crops planted, more veggies to sell, more money coming in, and more money meant upgrades could happen faster.

Noticing all the planning and business decisions going on in her head, another idea came.

I would refuse university from the very beginning.

The guy on screen, the pixel Ellie, walked back to his farm with his seeds and his fertilizer, significantly poorer, for now.

No studying? How would you make a living then?

When the guy was home again, she got to work immediately, fertilizing, planting, and watering. They had other things to do that day.

I would make a living by…

At first, she’d thought about being a farmer, like the pixel Ellie. But in this country, farming meant working for the corrupt government, because all the new plots of land belonged to them. And there was no way, that was happening. Also, here having a farm meant no electricity, no running water, no wifi, no signal, no modern stuff. So, as much as she liked farming in game life, that wouldn’t work in real life.

Ah, pixel Ellie was running out of energy and they had no food in the backpack. So, they ran inside to quickly cook something in the house’s kitchen. Real life Ellie would love to make different dishes, there were some dishes that sounded really good. But this game was about how much energy you got from food. Hence, the importance wasn’t on the dishes name, or its ingredients, it was on how much it refilled the bar on the bottom right corner of the screen.

That’s when another idea came to her.

How about cooking? I could go to vocational school and study to be a chef. I really like cooking. Though, more than cooking, I think I would love to be a baker. I like making cakes, and cookies, and that kind of stuff. I mean, I don’t mind cooking, and I put heart into what I make. But I only have real honest fun baking.

So, instead of doing it as a hobby like you do right now, you would do it to earn a living? Remember the last time you tried to make a living out of one of your hobbies?

Writing.

That had been the worst mistake of her life. It got the poor girl into the biggest writing slump she'd ever experienced. All because Ellie had tried to make a living just as a writer and the pressure ate her alive. Until she developed anxiety so bad that Ellie just could not write without feeling like she would have a panic attack at any second.

Yeah, not so good an idea then.

She got the little pixel guy moving again. Everything farm related was done now. Let’s go fish and earn some money for that backpack.

For a while, the girl just played. Eyes glued to the screen. Thinking about nothing but her utter failure to be a human being. What did I want to do in freaking life? How was I supposed to make a living when I wanted to do nothing? How was I supposed to be a functional part of society when everything seems like an unbearable pressure and everything makes me have panic attacks? I would adore to take the pressure out of things. Maybe then I would enjoy them. Maybe then I would be able to have a stable job and a stable income and be a ‘grown-up’.

How about you stop trying to find ways to make a living out of the things you love? We have proven time and time again, that doing that will just make you end up hating them.

Sighing, tired and frustrated and angry with herself, Ellie threw herself back onto the bed, staring at the ceiling.

I don’t want to be a fudging billionaire. I don’t want to have some big-shot job. I don’t want to be a lawyer, or a doctor, or an engineer, or any of that crap. I’m happy with my stupid kitchen store job. They pay me more than a big percentage of the people in this country. Never mind if we compared it to what the people without a college degree earned. Even if I graduated there was no guarantee that I would get a better paying job, proved by the millions earning minimum wage out there. in any other country my job would be enough to pay for rent, food, and some luxury expenses. And I have enough free time to write as much as I want, because I don’t bring work home. So, tell me what the hell is wrong with just quitting university, dedicating myself to the store, maybe wind up as a personal secretary or manger later on, and write in my free time?

For once, there was silence in Ellie's head.

Indeed. What is wrong with doing that?

She sat up on the bed, looking around as her mind whirled.

That would take the pressure off writing. And I could literally just do it for fun. And my income wouldn’t depend on whether I write or not.

The heart in her chest was beating wildly. Excited. Happy.

I can't make enough to be independent with my current job. But to be honest very few jobs in this country would pay me enough. I would have to earn a couple hundred bucks a month, and short of becoming an escort I didn't know what would make me that amount of money. So, I could move out of this country. Go live with my family overseas and do the same simple things I did here. I could be a part of society. I could make a living. And not depend on my parents.

And, you could also open up a ko-fi or patreon page, have people donate if they want. If they feel like it. That way no pressure is added to you as the author, or to your readers, and you could have some extra income.

She could picture it already. How happy her life would be.

And then Ellie remembered her parents. The fact that she didn't have a passport and obtaining one cost around a thousand bucks. The fact that she had no belongings to sell to pay for the plan tickets. Her cowardice. Her nervousness. Her anxiety.

All at once her body felt completely exhausted. The energy seemed to have been sucked out of the girl and she let herself fall onto the bed, staring at the wall.

No hollywood dreams. No millions of dollars. No sports cars. No. The only thing I wanted was to be happier with my body, to quit university, to have a peaceful job, and write. That was the life I wanted. The life I couldn’t have.

So simple. And yet so far from reach.

A tear rolled down the corner of Ellie's eye, it traversed the bridge of her nose, continued down the underside of the other eye, and finally found the mattress. More and more tears followed its path.

Prompt: 10. Write the autobiography of the life you weren’t brave enough to lead.

Previous Day Next Day

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datninjalyfe · 4 years

Text

Stay, Part 1: Chapter 14.5

There was a nice rhythm to Izuku and Katsuki’s relationship for the rest of the month. They mostly ignored each other during the day as Iida took his chaperoning duties very seriously, but with their trainings being as hard as they were, they usually just fell asleep next to each other’s arms during the night. For one of the weekends, they had a whole date that Mina planned—“This is so adorable, you have to go! I’ll have Momo make you guys matching outfits!”

Sure enough, Momo had made them crop tops for it, just as Mina had promised them— “I’m not wearing that!”—but when Izuku had said, “I think it looks cute.” Katsuki sighed and put the shirt on, all the girls squealing. “YOU GUYS ARE TOO CUTE, OMIGAWD PICTURES!” Mina said, people pulling out their phones and snapping pictures.

For that date, Katsuki asked him mom to use the car for the date and she agreed, but only if she got to see Izuku. That Friday, they went back to Katsuki’s home—a place Izuku knew well, but on the train ride, Katsuki could tell he was nervous. “You’ve seen her a million times. I’m pretty sure your mom still has lunch with her every Wednesday or whatever.”

“I know.” Izuku sighed. “I’ve just never—,” but he didn’t finish that sentence.

Mina had told them they needed to leave Katsuki’s place by 4:30 am in order to get there on time, when the date actually started, so Mitsuki allowed the boys to spend the night to leave early the next morning. Izuku bowed respectfully. Katsuki watching him and bowed his head towards her as well. It was slightly disrespectful, but when he looked up, Mitsuki was hugging him, whispering something that Katsuki couldn’t hear. When he asked Izuku later about it, Izuku had shrugged and said, “She just thanked me.”

The two took the car on their way to the address Mina provided them. “Where do you think we’re going?” Izuku asked him.

“Knowing Mina, probably somewhere abstract.”

Izuku stared at his phone for a minute and his face became confused. “We’re going to the beach?”

Katsuki chuckled. “She would make us go to the beach when it isn’t even summer.”

“Yeah, it is a little cold.” Izuku said. But he shrugged and grabbed the aux cord.

“What the hell? No, my car, my music!” Katsuki said, snatching the cord from him.

“This isn’t even your car!” Izuku said.

“Doesn’t even matter, it’s Bluetooth, we’re listening to my music.” Katsuki said, touching a button on his car and was going to command it to play something in the English, he saw Izuku’s face and said, “Play something romantic.”

Izuku looked shocked when Frank Sinatra started to play, but smiled anyway. I always want you to smile, Deku.

They traveled to the address that Mina had texted them, getting a little lost along the way— “No, it said to take a left, Kacchan!” “Deku, I can’t go left!”—but when they got there, because it was so early in the morning and so late in the year, there was no one and Katsuki was able to park on the side of the street next to the beach. Izuku immediately peeled off his shoes, throwing them in the car and running out into the sand.

“Deku!” Katsuki yelled, but he also took off his shoes and left them behind as well, running after Izuku. He watched Izuku put his feet on the wet sand and run into the water, his hair moving with the wind. “Don’t get swept away, nerd!”

But Izuku didn’t pay him any mind. He wasn’t even looking at Katsuki, but out at the ocean, totally entranced by the waves as they crashed down again and again against the sand. A gorgeous beach reflecting a pink sky in the wake of the sun. Pinks intermingled with oranges and reds in the sky as the sun rose, a calm golden shade in the wake of dawn. “Wow, this is beautiful.” he said under his breath.

Katsuki came up behind him, kissing the back of his head and wrapping his arms around his shoulders, pulling Izuku into him. “You’re beautiful.” he whispered into Izuku’s ear. The cold, foamy water sparkled beneath their feet.

“Come on, Kacchan. We should go to the actual date they planned for us.” Izuku reminded him that they needed to move. They walked slowly though, taking in the senses around them. Warm, heavy sand covered their feet; the rhythmic sound of gently waves crashing down against the shore; the promise of an infinite sun peaking above the horizon reflected in the water; the smell of the humid air so salty, Katsuki could taste it.

They walked for a couple blocks, realizing that their date was in a skyscraper on the beach. The two went inside and were greeted by men in suits. Katsuki blushed, feeling out of place in his crop top with sandy feet, but no one seemed to mind. They were taken to the top floor, seated at a table that overlooked the beach and watched the sunrise together, drinking tea that was brought to them.

“It’s almost been a month that we’ve been together now.” Izuku told him.

“Really?” Katsuki shrugged. “I’d forgotten all about that, actually.” He paused and took in a deep breath. “How—how are you feeling about all this? About us?”

Izuku took a sip of his tea. He was quiet, looking into his cup and then out the window. “I never want this to end.”

But the date did end and the weekend was over before they knew it. School resumed and Izuku was back to mostly ignoring Katsuki during the day, which wouldn’t have been an issue, except that he followed Todoroki often, which slightly pissed him off as the two hadn’t even come close to patching things up. Katsuki still hated that Todoroki saw Izuku during the week more often that he did. Still, after all his classmates were in bed, Izuku was his during the night.

Izuku was getting more comfortable touching him, but it didn’t stray any further than it had already. They were exhausted with Aizawa working them as hard as he was and normally kissed each other to sleep. One night, though, the dorm alarms had gone off once while the two were in Katsuki’s bed sleeping. They awoke with a start, Izuku’s prominent jolt from the noise kicked Katsuki in the side. “Ow, fuck, Deku—oh, shit, are those—?” Katsuki started to say, but Izuku was already on his balcony and Katsuki watched him jump up and out of sight. Katsuki’s heart raced and he grabbed a pair of shorts, slipping them on and poking his head out the door.

“WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS, MINETA?!” Aizawa had the small pipsqueak of a boy by his binds at the end of the hall. “I WILL FUCKING END YOU!” A few of the girls stood behind Aizawa, their arms crossed, glaring at Mineta. Aizawa held the binds tightly, Mineta being choked so hard, his eyes started to bulge out of his head.

Katsuki went back into his room, texting Izuku: Mineta was trying to spy on the girls. But I think you should stay in your room for the night. The reply from Izuku came quickly: I think that’s a good idea. It felt weird to sleep without Izuku next to him as he’d grown quite accustomed to it, but seeing Izuku next to Todoroki during the day increased the heat in his body substantially.

During an intense training session the class had, they were able to pair off with one another. Kirishima pulled him away before he could argue.

“Come on, give me all you got!” Kirishima said, hardening the exterior of his skin.

Katsuki jumped up, giving himself a boost in the air. He lightly ignited both his hands and using his quirk like bullets, made it rain explosions. Several classmates screamed as they watched Kirishima being hailed with miniature bombs, but Katsuki didn’t let up; instead, when he landed, he yelled, “AP SHOT!” and singularly focused all his heat on one area of his palm, increasing the amount of sweat to ignite it, but when he saw Izuku in his periphery, he lost control of the heat in his hand and was almost immediately taken out by a hard hit to the back of the head from Kirishima.

“Oh shit, sorry!” Kirishima said, un-hardening himself and reaching out a hand to help Katsuki up off the floor. “Dude, you gotta stop focusing on him.” he whispered. “He’s fine, he’s with Todoroki.”

“Yeah. That’s the problem.” Katsuki growled.

“Jealousy isn’t a good look on you.”

“It wasn’t a good look for you when you got jealous about Camie.” Katsuki snapped. It was hard to peel his eyes away from Izuku as he went to kick Todoroki, but was halted by an ice block. Izuku kicked the ice wall to pieces, circling through the air and then rushing at Todoroki again, who used his ice defensively again, his left side roaring with flames. Katsuki stepped forward to help Izuku, but Kirishima stepped in front of him, hitting him hard in the side of his ribs.

“Snap out of it.” Kirishima told him. “I’m going to ignore what you said, but don’t say that again. Now, come on, hit me with another explosion!”

Katsuki also had a once a week “therapy” appointment that he had to shell out his feelings. He hated those days, dreading each second during that hour.

“So you and Midoriya.” the counselor said. “You are together.”

“Yeah.” Katsuki said.

“Sounds good, sounds good.” he said, jotting some notes down furiously. “And tell me, how is that going?”

“Same as last week.” Katsuki said, getting more annoyed with each word.

“Uh-huh, uh-huh. Sounds good, sounds good.” the counselor’s pen squeaked against the clipboard. “How’s your family?”

“They’re fine.”

“Yep, yep. Sounds good, sounds good.” the counselor continued to write down the notes. “Tell me, Bakugou, why do you call your boyfriend Deku? Is that not a bit rude, especially for someone who means so much to you?”

Heat shot down Katsuki’s arms, through his hands, creating a small spark. The counselor didn’t even appear to be phased by the small spark. “It’s his hero name. Do you not know anything about students at this damn school?”

“His hero name, huh?” the counselor said. “Okay, then. Sounds good, sounds good. And Yoyo, you talked to him lately?”

“Texted him this morning.” Katsuki lied, pushing his hands into a fist to stop any impending explosion.

“Yes, yes, sounds good, sounds good. Have you and Kirishima started talking again?”

“Yep.” Katsuki said.

“Alright, alright. Sounds good, sounds good. How about you and Todoroki?” he asked. Katsuki rolled his eyes. This was a waste of time. He wanted to go back to class, train, see his friends, watch Izuku smile and love on him with the little time they got together during the day. “And before you answer that question, I talked with Todoroki and your teacher.” He looked up from his clipboard, taking his glasses off. He looked at him as if he already had the answer. “From what I’ve been told you two trained together under his father, no?

“We did last year, so what? With all my trainings and all my extra school work, I haven’t really had time to deal with him. If he wants to talk to me, he knows where to find me.”

The counselor raised an eyebrow. “Funny. He said the same thing.” He cleared his throat, putting his glasses back on and looked back at his clipboard, furiously writing again. “I’ve talked with Aizawa about scheduling a training room for the two of you. Friday morning sound good?”

Katsuki grinned menacingly. A training room? Hell yeah! “Sounds good.”

---

Shoto Todoroki’s POV

---

Shoto waited inside of the training room the following morning. He knew that this was the only way to get Katsuki’s attention, which is why he suggested it at the counseling session.

He didn’t always hate Katsuki—in fact, they used to be friends. But lately, Shoto could see the distain for him radiating through Katsuki. He looked like a villain. If his eyes could kill him, Shoto was sure he would have been stabbed by a thousand sharp knives a thousand times. But he just stood there, not allowing himself to get enraged again.

Shoto often reflected on the past. A force of habit instilled in him by his father, who told him to continue to look forward. But Shoto hated the bastard and in his rebellion against him, had looked to the past quite a bit. His mind took him back to the study room, when he saw Izuku pushed up against the wall, Katsuki’s hands starting to ignite.

But it’s what Katsuki had said that triggered him: “Oh look, Deku—it’s your prince.” Izuku’s…what? Shoto cursed under his breath, remembering what he had thought that night. That coupled with the rest of Katsuki’s reckless behavior, Shoto was so sure that Aizawa would have transferred Katsuki by now, but he had no such luck. Katsuki had pulled ahead of him, outperforming in both in combat skill and on written exams.

He needed to just talk to Katsuki, but doing so in a counselor’s office wouldn’t be conducive. Instead, he decided that in order for them to come to an agreement, they needed to fight it out. He figured Katsuki had some repressed anger towards him. Shoto hadn’t quite understood why Katsuki had even gotten so angry. It’s not like Katsuki knew anything.

Unless Yoyo had told him. After all, the two had become incredibly close.

Maybe something had happened between them? Would Yoyo keep his word to Shoto? It was hard to say, but he definitely wanted to find out what Katsuki knew. He couldn’t just go up and ask. Katsuki wasn’t used to hiding his annoyance and certainly didn’t suppress any of his emotions the way Shoto could.

So he asked the counselor for a training room, who told him he needed permission from his teacher. When he asked Aizawa, he was met back with, “At this point, I don’t give a fuck anymore.” Shoto bowed, even smiling a bit. He was ready to use his quirk against Katsuki, since Katsuki could literally dissolve his flames and spit them back in a large blast that Shoto couldn’t freeze fast enough. The anticipation of the fight energized him and he looked forward to what would happen that morning.

“Why the hell are you here so early?”

Shoto sighed loudly, hearing the detest that Katsuki had for him in those few words. He looked at his watch. “It’s 8:30.”

Anger flashed in his eyes. “I meant why are you here before me?” Shoto shrugged and sighed loudly, but said nothing. “I was told you wanted to talk?” Katsuki’s palms opened, his sweat popping little sparks. “But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think reserving a training room was smart. So start talking, Icy Hot.”

“You and Midoriya seem to be growing closer.” Shoto said. His quirk’s left side heated instantly, flames roaring out of him. Fuck, this is too much! He cooled off his body with his ice quirk, regulating his internal temperature. Katsuki didn’t seem remotely intimidated. Instead, Katsuki hurled an explosion at his feet, knocking him backwards. Shoto cooled off the left side of his body. “I thought for sure you would have fucked it up by now.” Shoto put up an ice wall in front of him, blocking an impending attack. “Frankly, I think he’s too good for you.” Katsuki shattered the ice wall instantly.

“You’re not going to want to say that again. I’ll admit, I used to think you were going to be a hard opponent to beat, but now that I can eat your fire and destroy your ice, your quirk is weak against mine.” Katsuki said, licking his lips. “Any last words?”

A second ice wall went up, and a third and a fourth, blocking Katsuki from reaching Shoto. You aren’t really here to fight. You’re here to get information! “You and Yoyo seem to be good friends now.”

“So?”

“Maybe you and Yoyo are something more.” As anticipated, Shoto’s ice wall shattered as Katsuki flew through the air, landing directly in front of Shoto, who quickly pushed Katsuki’s arm away that reached for him. He grabbed Katsuki’s arm with his right hand, freezing it instantly. “He fucking told you, didn’t he?” Shoto asked him. “Don’t play stupid. I know he did.”

Katsuki smirked and then howled with maniacal laughter. “You clearly don’t know me. I don’t fucking play stupid. Did you really bring me here to talk about Yoyo or to fight me?” Pop, pop! Two explosions broke apart the ice blocks in between the two and suddenly, Katsuki was jumping up over Shoto, forcing a hail of explosions towards him.

Shit, this was his ultimate move from class the other day! He blocked the raining fire with his ice and kicked it up at Katsuki, who maneuvered around the ice attack immediately.

Shoto thought maybe for a moment Yoyo hadn’t told him anything. But without Katsuki saying anything about it, he had no way of knowing. “Fine.” he said, after a few rounds of sparring. “When I was with Midoriya—,” Katsuki pushed him hard against the ground, pinning him to it. “Fuck! Let me finish!” Katsuki’s grip was hard, but Shoto didn’t really struggle to get away. Shoto heard a deep, low rumble stemming from Katsuki’s chest. Shoto could feel his breath hot against his skin. Katsuki’s hand came down hard, an explosion that Shoto barely dodged, kicking Katsuki away from him.

“I’ll kill you, Icy Hot.” Katsuki told him. He singled a shot towards Shoto, who put up ice for defense, put it was too late. Katsuki’s blast barreled through it, knocking Shoto backwards. “Don’t be an idiot.” Katsuki said. A few sparks and Katsuki flew upwards. Using his legs, he aimed the kick directly at Shoto’s head. That’s Midoriya’s technique! Shoto held up his hands to block and swiped his right arm up and with that slashing motion, ice blocked the kick. Finally, I have the upper hand! Shoto thought, and using his flames, punched Katsuki backwards.

“What if I told you there is something between me and Midoriya?” Shoto told him. Katsuki got up, but didn’t move. He stood there, staring at Shoto.

“Scumbag, don’t you fucking disrespect me by lying.” Katsuki said quietly. That was the first time Shoto had ever heard him try and control his emotions. “Especially if it deals with Deku. It’ll be the last thing you do.”

“I’m really not.” Shoto said. “I know you only have a few days left until the month is up. I’m surprised you stayed together this long. But when your month is over, he’ll see that I’m the better option.”

“Oh?” Katsuki said, looking up at him. “I grew up with him. I know everything about him: his thoughts, his feelings, his secrets. He hides nothing from me—what makes you think he could ever want you?”

Shoto exhaled. This was it. No going back. He had to remind himself to breathe before finally confessing: “And you think you’re the only one? I’m in love with Midoriya, too, asshole.”

They were both quiet for several minutes, both knowing that they could kill each other if someone even moved. Katsuki’s phone chimed, alerting him of a notification. He cursed and looked at it, his eyes widening. “Dammit.” He looked at Shoto. “This isn’t over, Icy Hot. But I can’t stay and chat about your damn feelings either.” He got up and started to walk out.

“You really can’t wait and talk about this?” Shoto asked him. “The fuck could be more important?”

Katsuki stopped in the doorway and not looking back, said, “I don’t care about your feelings. But this conversation is far from over.”

---

Katsuki left Shoto in the training room. He had just confirmed what Katsuki had thought all along. And he and Izuku’s month was almost up. What if—what if Deku won’t want me anymore? He told Izuku he would give it his all, everything he had. But if Shoto was an option?

Katsuki didn’t know if he would even stand a chance.

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#katsudeku #deku midoriya #deku x kacchan #bakudeku #bakugou katsuki #izubaku #bakugou x midoriya #dekukacchan #bnha kacchan

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