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thegayhimbo · 6 months

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Stranger Things Flight of Icarus Review

If you haven’t yet, be sure to check out my other Stranger Things Reviews. Like, Reblog, and let me know what your thoughts are regarding the show or the upcoming season! :)

Stranger Things Comics/Graphic Novels:

Stranger Things Six

Stranger Things Halloween Special

Stranger Things The Other Side

Stranger Things Zombie Boys

Stranger Things The Bully

Stranger Things Winter Special

Stranger Things Tomb of Ybwen

Stranger Things Into The Fire

Stranger Things Science Camp

Stranger Things “The Game Master” and “Erica’s Quest”

Stranger Things and Dungeons and Dragons

Stranger Things Kamchatka

Stranger Things Erica The Great

Stranger Things “Creature Feature” and “Summer Special”

Stranger Things Tie-In Books:

Stranger Things Suspicious Minds

Stranger Things Runaway Max (Part 1 of 3)

Stranger Things Runaway Max (Part 2 of 3)

Stranger Things Runaway Max (Part 3 of 3)

Stranger Things Darkness On The Edge Of Town (Part 1 of 3)

Stranger Things Darkness On The Edge Of Town (Part 2 of 3)

Stranger Things Darkness On The Edge Of Town (Part 3 of 3)

Stranger Things Rebel Robin Book and Podcast (Part 1 of 2)

Stranger Things Rebel Robin Book and Podcast (Part 2 of 2)

Stranger Things Hawkins Horrors Review

Stranger Things Episode Reviews:

The Vanishing of Will Byers (Part 1 of 2)

The Vanishing of Will Byers (Part 2 of 2)

Synopsis: Hawkins, Indiana: For most, it’s simply another idyllic, manicured all-American town. But for Eddie Munson, it’s like living in a perpetual Tomb of Horrors. Luckily, he has only a few more months to survive at Hawkins High. And what is senior year, really, but killing time between Dungeons & Dragons sessions with the Hellfire Club and gigs with his band, Corroded Coffin? At the worst dive bar in town, Eddie meets Paige, someone who has pulled off a freaking miracle. She escaped Hawkins and built a wickedly cool life for herself working for a record producer in Los Angeles. Not only is she the definition of a badass—with killer taste in music—but she might also be the only person who actually appreciates Eddie as the bard he is instead of as the devil incarnate. But the best thing? She’s offering him a chance to make something of himself, and all he needs to do is get her a demo tape of Corroded Coffin’s best songs. Just one problem: Recording costs money. Money Eddie doesn’t have. But he’s willing to do whatever it takes, even if that means relying on his dad. Al Munson has just stumbled back into Eddie’s life with another dubious scheme up his sleeve, and yet Eddie knows this is his only option to make enough dough in enough time. It’s a risk, but if it pays off he will finally have a one-way ticket out of Hawkins. Eddie can feel it: 1984 is going to be his year.

Observations:

Ordinarily, when I do these reviews, I sum up the synopsis in my own words to convey my experience reading it. This time, I took the synopsis word-for-word from the book cover because I found it unintentionally hilarious and teeth-grinding that the publishers at Random House Worlds would try to bait Stranger Things fans like this. They had to have known most people who bought this book already saw the fourth season and were aware of Eddie's eventual fate. Even if they hadn't seen it, a.) It's pretty much an open spoiler at this point, and b.) You can figure out real quickly from the title (Flight of Icarus) and your basic knowledge of Greek Mythology exactly how this story is going to go. Giving both the audience and Eddie a Hope Spot in thinking things might improve for him was a cruel joke.

I know that prior to this books release, there were fans accusing Netflix of trying to milk Eddie's popularity with the audience despite his eventual fate in season 4. Having finally read the book myself.................it's a little more complicated than that.

Yes, the book does bait the audience with the idea of things getting better for Eddie when we already know that's not going to happen. At the same time though, it wasn't a book devoid of substance. There were themes and character interactions that left a lot to chew on, and might even play an upcoming role in season 5. Just like with Rebel Robin, there were aspects of the book that struck a personal nerve with me because of how they related to what's gone on in my life and what's currently going on in the world right now.

I'll discuss the book in detail here (Spoilers Ahead!) and let you decide for yourselves if this is a book you want to read.

Part 1: Eddie's relationships to other characters

The synopsis covers the majority of the plot. Eddie's in senior year, failing school, and coasting by on the Hellfire Club, his band, and his dead-end job at a bar. Unlike his friend Ronnie, he has no future prospects ahead of him until he encounters a girl from Los Angeles named Paige, who overhears Eddie playing one night and invites him (and Corroded Coffin) to record their music for a studio called WR Records. The hopes are that her boss, Davey, will be impressed enough that he'll invite Eddie and the band to later fly out to Los Angeles for an audition with the executives. Following them recording for Davey, Paige reveals to Eddie that Davey's more impressed with him than his band and only wants him to come out to LA to become a rockstar. However, Eddie still needs the money to make this dream a reality. So when his dad shows up with an illegal job that involves stealing weed from a Kingpin's truck so they can sell it for money, he reluctantly agrees despite knowing things could go wrong.

And just based on where Eddie is by the time season 4 starts, you already know how this is going to turn out.

Eddie on the show was already established as being an outcast who gets blamed for the murders committed by Vecna, but this book further explores that he was the town scapegoat way before any of this happened. Part of it has to do with his low socioeconomic status, part of it has to do with the bad reputation the Munson family has in Hawkins as crooks and lowlifes thanks to the behavior of Eddie's father (who is a loser and a sorry excuse for a dad), part of it has to do with the Hellfire Club and all the pearl-clutching parents did in the 80s about D&D being linked to Satanism (which, as Erica puts it in season 4, was bullshit), and the rest are people in Hawkins projecting their issues onto Eddie. They want to believe the worst in Eddie, and don't care about creating a self-fulfilling prophecy with they way they treat him.

Wayne Munson also gets fleshed-out more in this book, which I appreciate because he's one of the few adult characters on the show that I like. Unlike Al, who is constantly absent from Eddie's life unless he needs something from him, Wayne is a parental figure to Eddie who made sure he was being fed and taken care of when he needed it.

He's also one of the only people who treats Eddie like a person and believes in him when no one else does.

On top of that, Wayne is shrewd and able to put the pieces together just by reading a situation. He's the kind of person who can look at someone and figure out if they're being honest or not. When Al comes back into Eddie's life, he knows Al is up to no good, and he puts together pretty quickly that Eddie is going along with Al's con to get money. He allows Eddie to make his own choices, but he also warns Eddie that he's lying to himself if he thinks this is going to go well for him.

On a semi-related note, the way Wayne is depicted here gives more context behind why he was willing to let Nancy interview him when Eddie went missing after Chrissy's death: Unlike other reporters , who were either gearing up to paint Eddie as the villain before anything was confirmed, or else were trying to get their big break with this story, Wayne could tell Nancy wasn't just there to advance her career. She genuinely had an interest in what happened, and Wayne likely suspected something else (i.e. the death of Barb) was motivating Nancy to look into this case.

Another relationship that gets more context as well is the one between Jason and Eddie. There were hints in the fourth season that these two had a history with one another before Jason wrongly suspected Eddie of killing Chrissy and led the basketball team in hunting him down. This book confirms that history. I will admit I had a headcanon for a while that Jason and Eddie used to be friends before falling out (which is also something Mason Dye joked about), but this book blows that out of the water by revealing they've been enemies since they knew each other. Jason was a part of a jock group led by Tommy Hagan (Steve's former best friend) who bullied students like Gareth who were either outcasts or part of the Hellfire Club. But because Tommy and Jason were valued basketball players at the high school, they were able to get away with their behavior whereas Eddie would get punished simply for trying to help out his friends.

This puts the cafeteria scene between Eddie and Jason in a whole different light: Eddie's disdain for Jason in that moment wasn't because Jason did basketball, but because he knew Jason as a bully and had nothing but contempt for him:

Just like with Lucas on the Line, this book doesn't paint Jason in a good light. Not only is he associating with Tommy (who is just as loathsome as he was in season 1), but the book also hints at the darker, zealot side of his personality that's going to be on display in two years following the events of this book:

Chrissy also makes an appearance, and she's just as nice of a person as she was on the show. She actually intervenes (unsuccessfully) on Gareth's behalf to stop Tommy and Jason from bullying him, and we get to witness the flashback to the talent show when Eddie first encountered Chrissy and she showed him empathy and compassion in a moment when Eddie was feeling vulnerable after his dad didn't show up to watch him perform.

While I'm not an Edissy/Hellcheer shipper, I understand the appeal of that relationship, as well as why the Duffer Brothers later regretted killing off Chrissy when there was more that could have been explored with her character. I'm also deeply sorry Grace Van Dien was harassed by immature Stranger Things fans because she liked the Eddie/Chrissy ship (to the point Joseph Quinn had to speak up in her defense). No actor or actress should ever have to put up with disgusting behavior like that. I wish people in this fandom would grow the hell up already, and stop treating the actors as if they're props to project themselves onto. 😒

We also get to know more about Eddie's parents in this book. Eddie's mom is dead by this point (though her love for music is a big reason why Eddie was inspired to take up guitar) and Eddie's dad is a contender for one of the worst fathers in the series. He isn't as awful as Neil Hargrove, but he makes little to no effort to raise Eddie (to the point Eddie is often fending for himself), is constantly engaging in illegal activities and ending up in trouble with the law, only comes back for Eddie when he needs something from him (something that Eddie is painfully aware of), and straight-up abandons his son to the cops the moment his heist plan lands both of them in trouble and results in a police officer getting shot. He's a selfish man who's good at lying to everyone around him, and even to himself. The sad thing is, because Eddie is so desperate to get out of Hawkins, he willingly believes his dad's plan to get them rich so they can move to LA and fulfill his dream, which makes it more of a gut punch when everything eventually goes downhill.

Given Eddie's death in season 4, I seriously question if his dad is going to show up at all if he ever hears about what happened to his son. Somehow, I doubt it.

The final character with any real significance is Gareth. In this book, he's a freshman who's up-and-coming in the Hellfire Club, and there's a whole subplot dedicated to Eddie helping him to craft a perfect D&D character that resembles who Gareth is rather than having him borrow someone else's character. Also, as noted before, Eddie is one of the few people who defends Gareth from high school bullies, which is why Gareth has a lot of loyalty towards Eddie. I know Gareth became an Ensemble Dark Horse for many fans when Season 4 premiered, and I would be thrilled if he, along with the rest of the Hellfire Club and Corroded Coffin, got significant roles in season 5. Maybe they could team up with the Party to defeat Vecna.

The rest of the new characters are by-the-numbers. Ronnie is Eddie's lifelong friend who has a future at NYU, and they both have a falling out due to disagreements with Eddie's choices. Paige gets into a romantic relationship with Eddie for a while (which also falls apart later), but she isn't really memorable and doesn't stick out the same way that other characters from tie-in materials do (i.e. Mr Hauser from Rebel Robin, Joey Kim from Zombie Boys, etc). Mr. Higgins, the principal who has it out for Eddie, is the embodiment of Mr. Vernon from The Breakfast Club, and his interactions with Eddie are pretty similar to the ones Vernon has with Judd Nelson's character (John Benson) in the movie. Officer Moore is a stereotypical asshole cop who harasses Eddie because he sees him as a future criminal who will grow up to be just like his dad.

There are a few brief cameo's from the main characters: Hopper appears towards the end when Eddie is arrested, and is one of the few people sympathetic to Eddie's plight. Will and Jonathan also make an appearance when Eddie defends Will from jocks who make fun of Will for being "Zombie Boy," gives Will some encouragement about being who he is and embracing his love for D&D, and even offers to sell Jonathan some weed (which is cheeky foreshadowing for Jonathan's drug habit that develops in season 4).

Out of all the interactions with the main characters, the one between Will and Eddie was my favorite. Even though Will never joined Hellfire Club due to moving to Lenora, it's nice seeing these two get to interact and bond over something they love.

So that sums it up for the characters and main story. Let's talk about the main themes:

Part 2: Eddie and "Forced Conformity"

Just like with El in season 4, and even Steve, there's always been this stigma that because Eddie did badly in school, it meant he was dumb. However, unlike El, who struggles to catch up with her peers because of the way Brenner raised her (but is keenly aware of concepts even if she doesn't have the words for them at the time), or Steve who was more interested in chasing popularity at the expense of his grades (but has demonstrated his intelligence and ability to make connections that other people miss), Eddie doesn't put effort into school because he doesn't care to. School and homework doesn't interest him. D&D, Corroded Coffin, playing songs on his guitar, and even the works of J.R.R Tolkien do, which is why he invests more time into those things:

There was a GIF set last year with bits of trivia about Eddie, and something that was noted in it is that Metallica's album Master of Puppets was released on March 3, 1986. Given the night Eddie performs their song "Master of Puppets" in the Upside Down was on March 27, 1986, this means he had less than 3 weeks to learn how to master the song on his guitar. Some fans will probably dismiss this as "lazy writing" (which I notice gets thrown around a lot these days when people don't want to think critically), but I beg to differ. Eddie is invested in music. It speaks to him. That investment, combined with doing something he loves, means he's going to put time and effort into learning the song. I can buy he learned "Master of Puppets" in less than 3 weeks because he's that good of a guitarist, and he was passionate about the song in the same way he's passionate about D&D and Tolkien.

The problem though is those kind of interests aren't considered "acceptable" by the school system, which is more interested in churning out "productive members of society" and punishing those who don't get on board with the program (This is a theme that's also explored in both Rebel Robin and Lucas on the Line). It doesn't help that Hellfire Club, D&D, and the music Eddie loves to play constantly come under fire due to the Satanic Panic at the time, which only causes Eddie's resentment towards Hawkins and his school to fester.

You'd think things would have changed in the 4 decades since this series took place, but given how we're still living in an era of "concerned parents" wanting to ban specific books from being read by kids, or else enforce a conservative viewpoint in schools that prevents any kind of critical thinking, it's fair to say we haven't. In fact, there's an argument that things have gotten worse in recent years.

We can talk all day about the problems with the education system and school curriculum in the United States until the cows come home, but the point is Eddie is aware of the "forced conformity" schools impose on students, and is having none of it. As a result, he's punished for rebelling against the system.

It doesn't help that none of the teachers, nor Mr. Higgins, are remotely interested in trying to reach out to Eddie. They have decided in their minds that Eddie is a waste of space, and are either condescending or dismissive towards him. Even Robin, Mike, Lucas, Dustin, and Will had teachers like Mr. Clarke or Mr. Hauser who were interested in bringing the best out of their students. Eddie has been written off as a lost cause, and aside from his uncle Wayne (who's limited in what he can do for Eddie), no other adults believe in him. That just makes his eventual death later on harder to stomach.

I hate teachers and school authorities like Mr. Higgins. I get they have to put up with a lot of crap, both from kids and from the stress their jobs can bring, but I have no respect for teachers who either go to the lengths of bullying their students, or come up with preconceived notions about a student and then unfairly project that onto them so they can feel justified in treating them with contempt.

I had two teachers like this when I was growing up: One of them was from fifth grade. The second was my English Teacher from my senior year of High School.

The former was a straight-up bully who had a reputation for making kids cry (I was one of them) and was a Bitch in every sense of the word. I do not have good memories of her class, and I know several students who had their lives impacted by her for the worst: One of them was someone I went to the same church with whose mom later pulled him out to be home-schooled because he was frequently targeted by that teacher. The second was a former friend who had a rough time in her class, and later forfeited going to college entirely (and now works in retail) because of the impact she left on her. I make no secret that I DON'T miss her, and I hope she's no longer teaching.

As for my English Teacher, she was a condescending twat. She presented herself as an expert in literature, but I later found out that A LOT of her so-called "discussions" and "lessons" were taken straight from SparkNotes. I remember her going out of her way to publicly humiliate me in front of the class because I did a presentation that she didn't like, and then she later got patronizing with me over a different assignment several months later, saying she could see how I was struggling and then said "Allow me to give you some advice: Try harder." This was when I was also juggling 4 other AP classes and a Spanish class, along with my extracurricular activities, so this wasn't like I was half-assing my work. Once again, I was not the only person she treated like is. Multiple students despised her, and there was even a rumor for a while that she was a misandrist, which is why she treated the girls better than the boys. I can't confirm if this was true, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was. My brother (who's one of the smartest people I know) was fully aware of her reputation prior to his senior year, and specifically took a different English class just to avoid her. I still maintain that was the best decision he ever made.

I should briefly mention that, despite the two examples I just listed, I had some wonderful teachers growing up. Ones that not only encouraged me, but made their classes engaging to the point that I took an interest in topics I hadn't before. The entire reason I later pursued a degree in History is BECAUSE of my teachers in High School.

Regardless of whether people want to admit it, teachers are some of the most important people next to parents in a kid's life. They can either be the ones to elevate a student and set them on a good path, or they can be the ones to tear them down and dismiss them as a lost cause. It's a big reason I feel strongly about who teaches in schools and how our education system is structured, and why I get angry whenever teachers or school authorities either abuse their power, are apathetic about their jobs and their students, or else project their issues onto kids. I'm not saying there aren't kids out there without major behavioral problems that need to be dealt with (I literally had one such kid yell "Fuck You" at me two weeks ago from a speeding truck for no discernible reason, so I'm not advocating that all kids are sweet angels), but it infuriates me to see characters like Mr. Higgins who are smug in their belief that they have teens like Eddie figured out, and don't want to hear anything that contradicts that. People like that shouldn't be teaching in schools, period.

Part 3: The Evils of Society

Back in 2005, there was a horror movie called Chaos that was released, which got negative reviews and a scathing response from film critic Roger Ebert, who proceeded to call the movie "ugly, nihilistic, and cruel." The film's writer and director didn't take this well, and posted a letter to the Chicago-Sun Times where he condescendingly told Ebert that the movie was supposed to be ugly, nihilistic, and cruel as a way of conveying what evil was like in the 21st century, and smugly asked Ebert if he preferred the movie was sanitized of violence. Ebert later responded in a very classy and intelligent manner, where he not only called out the director for his sanctimoniousness, but also deconstructed his whole argument of depicting evil in a movie with no meaningful point or catharsis:

"I believe evil can win in fiction, as it often does in real life. But I prefer that the artist express an attitude toward that evil. It is not enough to record it; what do you think and feel about it? Your attitude is as detached as your hero's."

"Your real purpose in making "Chaos," I suspect, was not to educate, but to create a scandal that would draw an audience. There's always money to be made by going further and being more shocking. Sometimes there is also art to be found in that direction, but not this time. That's because your film creates a closed system in which any alternative outcome is excluded; it is like a movie of a man falling to his death, which can have no developments except that he continues to fall, and no ending except that he dies. Pre-destination may be useful in theology, but as a narrative strategy, it is self-defeating."

I've seen fans who've complained about the direction season 4 took in its tone and it's depiction of bullying and the Satanic Panic, with people complaining about it being "trauma/torture porn," which............I strongly disagree with. Trauma/Torture porn is (as Ebert points out) the kind of thing that has no point beyond indulging in meaningless suffering. Season 4 was dark (probably the darkest season they've done so far), but there was a message the Duffer Brothers were making with it; Not just in depicting how and why bullying becomes a pervasive problem, or how Vecna acts as a metaphor for depression and trauma driving people into despair, but also how the current social systems and attempts to force people to be "normal" cause long-term problems.

Bullies like Angela and Jason didn't suddenly decide to become awful overnight. Their behavior was enabled, not just by their peers, but by the adults around them who did little to nothing to stop the way they acted. Look at when El gets publicly humiliated at Rink-O-Mania by Angela and her friends, and how the adults there either participated with the other bystanders in it, or did absolutely nothing to stop what was happening to El (yet were conveniently available for Angela's benefit when El smashed Angela's face in with a roller-skate). Look at how Jason was able to turn a room of adults into a lynch mob to go after kids who were a part of the Hellfire Club by appealing to their fear of the Satanic Panic, as well as their fear of all the terrible things that had been happening in Hawkins.

Adults play a major role in whether kids become spoiled, entitled brats, and that was absolutely the case with Angela. As for Jason, he was a star basketball player who made Hawkins High look good, which is why Mr. Higgins and other teachers always looked the other way at his behavior (as depicted in both this book and Lucas on the Line). It's also why both Angela and Jason felt justified in their awful behavior: Angela was able to convince herself that El had snitched when she hadn't, and therefore deserved to be punished for it. And when El finally had enough and lashed out, Angela twisted the narrative in her head to make it out like she was the innocent victim and El was the bully. Same thing with Jason in regards to how he treats Eddie: Jason sees himself as the perfect "All American Boy" and Eddie as the freak who may one day become a criminal and gives Hawkins a bad name. And while the deaths of Chrissy and Patrick (combined with witnessing how Patrick died which he chalked up to Eddie being in league with Satan) played a major role in Jason's actions, he already had preconceived notions about Eddie without truly getting to know him first. There's an argument to be had that, even without Chrissy's death, he would have looked for any reason to go after Eddie if he felt justified in doing so.

Even isolated areas like Hawkins Lab weren't exempt from this: Dr. Brenner specifically fostered a culture among the special kids where he would put them at odds with one another to fight for his approval, and allowed El to be viciously bullied by Two and the others in the hopes it would unlock her potential and get him the results he wanted. Brenner established the institution where El grew up in, and was the main person who benefited from it. Two was a vicious bully similar to Angela, but the reason he became that is because Brenner and his cronies enabled his behavior (only punishing him as a means of building up resentment among the other kids towards El and making her more of an outcast as part of his plans).

Likewise, there's an interesting parallel between Eddie and Vecna: Both are "outcasts" whom society tried to force to be "normal." However, while Eddie still maintained compassion and empathy for others, as well as making it his mission to look out for other outcasts like Mike, Dustin, and Lucas so their lives wouldn't be miserable, Vecna internalized the rage and resentment of "performing in a silly terrible play, day after day" until it consumed him and turned him into the monster everyone feared. Now he intends to destroy everything and everyone so he can create the world he wants.

It's the Harvey Dent quote from The Dark Knight:

Eddie, despite being treated badly for most of his life, died as a hero, protecting those he cared about. Vecna lived to become the villain, and has abandoned his humanity in pursuit of his goals.

Tying this all back to Roger Ebert's letter: While Season 4 may have been dark, there was meaning to be found in the darkness: The season hit on the theme that, in spite of how Hawkins looks like a perfect suburban neighborhood, there's a lot of rot underneath, and NOT just from the Upside Down. There's an inherent bigotry in the town (and others like it, such as Lenora), of institutions trying to mold students and teachers into "productive members of society" at the cost of their happiness and well being, of punishing anything that's considered abnormal or against the status quo, of how ostracizing "outcasts" can lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy where the person either becomes the monster (Vecna) or is scapegoated and can never escape those stigmas no matter how hard they try (Eddie).

The Duffer Brothers aren't apathetic in their attitude about how they depict characters and themes on the show. If anything, they care deeply. It's why they wrote the character of Eddie in the first place, and based him off of Damien Echols, one of the West Memphis Three who was wrongfully convicted in 1994 of the murder of three boys in Arkansas, with a lot of bias directed at them due to the three of them being "delinquents" (as well as how the police pressured them into giving false confessions), which resulted in their lives getting ruined. Likewise on the show, Eddie is accused of killing Chrissy when he didn't (simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time), and his life got destroyed because of it. Even if he was a delinquent with his own personal issues, he didn't deserve what happened to him. Neither did Damien Echols. Society failed both of them, and allowed the true killers to go unpunished.

There are a lot of problems in our society today that have carried over from the 80s: From cultures that enable bullies and punish their victims, to attempts to control what kids learn in schools and how they should act, to bigotry and biases that aren't just rooted in people but in the institutions and laws that uphold the social structure, to people like Jason who take the law into their own hands regardless of the collateral damage it will cause, to government corruption, to people dehumanizing others because it's more important for them to be right over being nice, and so on. Stranger Things may be a love letter to the 80s, but it does not shy away from deconstructing the uglier aspects of that decade, and conveying how some of those issues had carried over into today's culture.

Final Thoughts:

Overall, this book is a mixed bag. It gives interesting details about Eddie and his life, and provides better context for certain scenes in season 4. Given that Caitlin Schneiderhan (the author of the book) had talks with the Duffer Brothers and other Stranger Things writers prior to penning this, it's likely this book can be considered canon. It's also a book that inspires discussion (as you can tell from what I've written), which is always a plus.

However, if you're a fan of Eddie, and you were upset over his death, this book isn't going to give you any catharsis. Unlike others, I'm not going to claim it's milking off of Eddie's popularity. At the same time though, it is hard to read when it teases that things might get better for Eddie and you already know what Eddie's fate is going to be.

In other words, you have to decide for yourself if this is a book you want to read. I hope my synopsis and this review gives some idea of what to expect.

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1kook · 3 years

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crunchyroll & rail

the 10th installment of my netflix & chill series !

SUMMARY Never mind the fact you really like Sailor Moon, or that you really want to pay attention to every little detail; the moment becomes Jungkook and his big smile and his red cheeks and the tiny box he produces from within his pocket. WARNINGS smut in the forms of making out, jk nipple play, some 69 action, cunnilingus, blowjobs, brief choking, jk trying his best to listen to oc but he doesn’t rlly :/, fingering, missionary bc his eyes are pretty, unprotected fuckin raw, its romantic but when is it not… MISC fluffy and domestic <3, weekend getaway <3, the Big Question, shy jk, sailor moon supremacy, jk makes this big elaborate speech about the sun and moon, mentions of 240p YouTube quality, RATING m (18+) WC 8.7k

NOTE (!) the smut in this chapter is relatively short ! I was more concerned with writing this monumental step in their relationship, so sorry to all the lads who come here specifically for the p0rn but today we focus on the l0ve <333 anyway nc 10!!!!! Can u fuckin believe….

Jungkook mentions it at the dinner table one night. You’re not eating— well, you are not eating; Jungkook has been stocking up on his protein intake like a madman —but finishing up some work you had brought home. Your back aches, your eyes burn. The mere sound of his soft voice has all those feel-good endorphins shooting through your nervous system like a shot of adrenaline. “We should take a trip,” he says, fork clattering against his plate to signify the end of his feast.

Your fingers tap across your keyboard, eyes flickering between an Excel sheet and the report you’re typing out. It takes you a moment to respond, a delayed, “huh,” that even Jungkook doesn’t find convincing.

In the background, you’re listening to what has to be one of the worst voiceovers of the original Sailor Moon series in a language you don’t even understand. But you know the series like the back of your hand, know what exactly is happening even if you don’t understand what they’re saying, because you’ve watched it only about a million times. It’s mostly just there for background purposes anyway, some white noise to try and replicate the noisy soundtrack of your office.

To make matters worse—complicated?—, you had been too lazy to get onto your usual pirating sites and had settled for the five minute, five part, 240p clips of Sailor Moon on YouTube (you know the ones), and Jungkook has to wait until Episode 74: Part ⅖ ends before you grace him with a proper response. “Where do you wanna go, baby?” you ask, giving your eyes a break from the data as you move to scour YouTube for Episode 74: Part 3/5.

He’s stretching back now, arms wound up above his head. His hair— god, his hair —is an ashy color now, a faded version of its golden ancestor from a few months ago. Soon, he’s planning on going back to brown, claims he’s getting too old to be dying his hair, whatever that means. For now, you watch his inked fingers run through his scalp; he looks delectable. Maybe you’re hungrier than you initially thought. Or at least thirstier. “A cabin,” he suggests, and he offers this little half shrug that would otherwise seem normal had you not been well-versed in the art of Jungkook Body Language. His front teeth nibble at his lip, eyes laser focused on his empty plate. Even now, he still gets nervous asking you out. That thought alone makes your ego soar as high as an airplane. “Just something small.”

Usually, “something small” with Jungkook ends up being something big and, in most cases, something expensive. Which you’re totally not opposed to— you’re at the point in your relationship where you don’t even bother trying to dissuade Jungkook from showering you with gifts. It’s one of his many, many, many, many forms of loving you and, well, he knows you like the back of his hand. He rarely misses.

Lo and behold, it is a grander affair than a simple cabin. “Well, it’s more like a resort,” he confesses, reaching across the table for your hand. Immediately, his thumb finds itself rubbing over the simple band of your promise ring. “Just wanna do something nice for you. I know you’ve been tired lately,” he adds on, voice a quiet murmur that nearly gets lost under the intensity of the pout that appears whenever he becomes even the slightest bit bashful.

You smile, the fondness in your heart skyrocketing to impossible heights when he lifts your hand to press those pretty petal lips against your knuckles. “Well, just let me know when,” you tell Jungkook. “So I can request time off from work.”

Episode 74: Part 3/5 starts playing after an ad, and you’d pause it for the sake of preserving this moment with Jungkook, but it’s hidden under so many tabs on your laptop that you lose it the second you leave the tab. Jungkook’s head tilts to the side, sending his ashy locks cascading beautifully. “You know that show is on Crunchyroll,” Jungkook says, seemingly moving past his bout of shyness now. “And you have the password.”

“Do I,” you murmur, but he’s lost you once more, your true talent of typing with one hand showing itself as you return to your Excel sheet, the other still firmly squeezed in his grasp. Jungkook releases soon enough anyway, cleans up the table quickly, and disappears off into the kitchen. He sings when he washes the dishes, likes to pretend he’s a terrible singer even though you’ve told him countless times he could easily take X Factor by storm. (And you know exactly what it takes to wow those judges— you spent the entire last month psychotically watching multiple X Factor seasons from multiple different countries, nearly considered joining the damn audition yourself.) The horribly dubbed Sailor Moon is yelling now, shrieking really, and Jungkook calls from the kitchen, “don’t forget to take your contacts out, sweetheart.”

It’s domestic and it's nerve-wracking.

You want Jungkook, that much is a fact. Aristotle and Socrates and that other guy could debate the philosophical intricacies of the world, turn this dimension in on itself until it was a scrambled mess of emotion and thought, but the one thing they could never change, could never even question, is your love for your boyfriend. You want Jungkook badly, but more importantly, you want Jungkook forever.

And you’re sure Jungkook probably, maybe, hopefully feels that way too. But the way you feel is… slightly concerning to say the least. For starters, you’re convinced your love for Jungkook was meant to be, and that’s saying a lot coming from you. You’re not one for cheesy, soulmate tales— that was more Jungkook’s thing —but the more you think about it, the more you become convinced that you and Jungkook were destined to meet. Like the planets aligned one year, the stars conferred, a tectonic plate somewhere in California shifted; whatever it may have been, something happened somewhere that led to the birth of this beautiful romance of yours.

Lately, being with Jungkook has this inexplicably fiery feeling blossoming in your chest, these waves of emotion that sometimes have you fantasizing about the weirdest of scenarios with him. Like yelling at him for not taking the garbage out on time, or bumping into each other as you make dinner in the kitchen, or buying a new rug together.

(Most drastically, the other day, you had a dream where you were pregnant and Jungkook was there and there was a house and a dog and an annoyingly friendly neighbor and this god-awful tile in the bathroom.)

Long story short, you’ve been fantasizing about a forever with Jungkook. The concerning part is the timing; was this too early? You’re nearly halfway through your second year with Jungkook now, and you know most people date for many, many years before the mere thought of union even occurs to them. In another life, maybe you were the same, would have held off until the very last moment. But with Jungkook things just feel right (at least for you), like there wasn’t going to be anyone else after him. And you sincerely hoped there wouldn’t be.

You slump back into your seat, eyes fluttering shut. Too many thoughts swirl around your mind, and the screech of the Sailor Moon voiceover on screen certainly doesn’t help. How you managed to spiral that far down your thoughts in the span of one 240p, five minute clip of a larger episode amazes even you. To add onto your worries, the clip abruptly ends and Episode 74: Part ⅘ is nowhere in sight, a fact that draws a frustrated moan out of the already sensitive you.

Luckily, Jungkook eventually returns, standing closely behind you. His presence is enormous, the room suddenly overflowing with a shit ton of those feel-good endorphins all over again, except this time they reach an all-time high when he leans over and quietly shuts your laptop. “Come sleep,” he says softly, and it’s a pleasant mixture of his genuinely caring voice and that horndog purr of his that lures you into bed. And it’s that same voice that croons softly into your ear, fingers nestled between your folds until you’re orgasming yourself into a deep slumber.

Much to no one’s surprise, the cabin turns out to be quite the luxurious lodging; two floors of dark oak everywhere you turn, a stunning stone fireplace in the bedroom, and a truly breathtaking view of the resort’s snowy hill (read: front row seats to watch all the snowboarders and skiers wipe out in the snow). Jungkook had splurged quite the pretty penny on it, so you make a point to clap it up for him when he first opens the door to your temporary home for the weekend.

The main bedroom is beyond words. It’s got an attached balcony (that you doubt you’ll be using in this chilly weather), and a wooden canopy bed that makes you feel like a royal (that you will certainly be using). It’s separated into two areas, the bed space and a tiny entertainment area on the other side of the room. Perhaps the best thing about the room— and the cabin itself —is the huge, smart TV mounted above said stone fireplace and the fact it allows the phone mirroring option in lieu of not having any streaming sites. And as is with every and anything to do with televisions, Jungkook is the most excited of the two of you. “Baby, look,” he beams, pointing excitedly at whatever he’s got mirrored onto the television this time. Knowing him, it’s probably another documentary.

You had the forethought to finish your work before the trip, spent two days in the office going absolutely ham on this month’s final reports until your department head promptly sent you home to finish the rest there. You had given yourself a fright upon entering the bathroom that night, the state of your under eyes so severe, you feared it was sufficient cause for a national emergency. Similarly, Jungkook had done the same with his work, cooped himself up in his study until he was free from the shackles of capitalism for the weekend. All this to say you’ve missed him these past few days.

But even though you’re sorely malnourished in the affection department and craving a good kiss or two, you wouldn’t dare interrupt one of Jungkook’s little nerdy, tech-induced fanboy moments. They’re cute, in their own geeky way, providing some insight to a mellower side of your boyfriend who looks on with childlike wonder; Jungkook’s eyes always get so big when he talks about nerdy stuff. You get to work hanging up the silk shirt he packed for tomorrow night’s fancy dinner at the resort, listening to some British narrator’s detailed description of the functionally extinct Northern white rhinos living under 24-hour surveillance in Kenya.

(Jungkook’s really into nature documentaries again, had spent a few nights sniffling as he watched that one Koko the gorilla film.)

The original plan was to head to the nearest store and whip up something small to eat at the cabin. But Jungkook is a little tired from the long drive, slumps down into the couch in front of the now lit fireplace like a limbless blob as he tunes into his documentary. His nose is a little red from the outside chill. It’s so cute. He’s so cute. You love him so much, you fear you’ll accidentally squeeze his cheeks to death. It’s a thought that occurs more times than you’d like.

According to the pamphlet on the nightstand, the resort has its own room-service to order from. Normally you would do that, but not this time; you had gotten into a bit of a squabble with the man at the front desk after he had tried to withhold Jungkook’s reservation for arriving two minutes past your check-in time, called each other all sorts of names before he backed down and gave you your room key. So you’re still a little salty, to say the least. Instead, you settle in for some pizza in front of the huge TV, calling up the nearest place to order some of Jungkook’s and your favorites.

You plop down beside him, instinctively cuddling closer when he wraps an arm around your shoulders. “So,” you start, flipping through the rest of the resort’s introductory pamphlet. There’s a loud roar on screen. In all honesty, you didn’t even know what Northern white rhinos sounded like until then, and you probably never would have if not for the man beside you. “What are you in the mood for tonight, sweet boy?”

You’re not sure if it’s the fatigue or the overall relaxed vibes he’d been exuding since the moment you entered the cabin, but Jungkook is weirdly cooperative today. “Whatever you want,” he responds, head on your shoulder. He even places the remote in your hands, gives your enclosed fist a gentle tap as if he’s just handed you the secret to eternal youth. In other words, it’s a rare sight to behold. “This is your trip, pretty girl.”

You appreciate the sentiment, but feel the need to clear the air, tucking your feet up onto the couch as you snuggle closer. “Our trip,” you clarify, and snatch the remote anyway before he changes his mind.

Jungkook releases a quiet huff of laughter, head rolling back against the couch cushions to display his thick, juicy neck that definitely doesn’t awaken any vampiric tendencies in you. “We can even watch some anime if you want,” he murmurs, casually throwing an arm around your shoulders in a way that would have made any teenage girl in the early 2000s squeal with excitement. It’s one of those barely there touches, but the way he holds you makes you feel so safe and warm and loved. So loved and in love. “The ones on Crunchyroll, though.”

For the sake of preserving these good vibes (and your ears [and Jungkook’s sanity]), you navigate to the Crunchyroll app on your phone, quickly finding your latest obsession and mirroring it onto the big television before Jungkook can react. “Sailor Moon?” he asks with a tone that implies a feigned interest, mostly out of respect for you; he’s, sadly, still not the big dorky anime fan you had hoped to convert him into.

“In the name of the moon, I’ll punish you,” you recite dutifully, snatching up the throw blanket on the end of the couch. It’s barely big enough to cover the both of you, has Jungkook’s outstretched legs and your booty subject to the chilly air. Who cares, Jungkook is a furnace anyway.

He snorts. “Punish me,” he mumbles, as if he doesn’t believe it. His snarky comment wins him a playful pinch against his doughy cheek, not that he particularly defends himself against it anyway, eyes fluttering shut as you tug at the pale skin.

“Don’t fuck with the moon, Jungkook,” you warn him, snuggling closely against his side as your favorite opening song begins filtering through the speakers of the television before you. It’s infinitely better than the 240p YouTube clips you had subjected yourself to the entire last week, the graphics scarily clear.

“Right, of course,” Jungkook says, but a hint of amusement seems to curl around the sound anyway. Nevertheless, he lets it go, cuddles into your side as you pour your full focus into watching yet another group of ragtag teenagers with supernatural abilities kick some ass.

You can tell Jungkook isn’t really into it, and you’re torn between just snuggling him into a well deserved nap or taping his eyelids open so he can become a fan of this show with you.

The loving, caring, adoring side of you says Jungkook deserves the entire world and more (the more in question preferably being a fluffy blanket and a nap). He worked hard this week, just like you, and on top of that he was the one who planned this entire weekend getaway for the two of you to enjoy. You want him to rest up.

The obnoxiously in love girlfriend-slash-best friend in you says Jungkook is sorely missing out on one of the greatest shows on planet Earth and that naps are for the weak.

Your jumbled thoughts are interrupted by a loud sound on the television, a yelp from Ms. Sailor Moon herself that has you jolting up in surprise. Jungkook welcomes you deeper into his embrace, chuckles at your little fright. “Scared?” he teases in that low voice that makes you feel like you’re going crazy, really. So crazy and irrational, and the only thing that stops you from bombarding him with an unexpected outpouring of love is that hard and sharp thing that pokes your side when you get too close to him. It’s not Jungkook, sadly, but something in the front pocket of his hoodie instead.

And for some reason, part of your brain is stuck all of a sudden, rewinding the last two and a half years like a broken cassette tape that had the tape reel hastily stuffed back inside by a toddler. It’s choppy to say the least, and it certainly doesn’t help when Jungkook calls your name softly, tenderly. “__,” he murmurs. It’s a little weird; it’s not often he says your name, mostly referring to you with one of the many pet names from that part of his vocabulary that focuses exclusively on terms of endearment. Your heart skips a beat.

Now, if anyone were to ask, it’s approximately around this time that you begin to spiral. The pink curve of his bottom lip is just too close, the mole on his nose too prominent. Paired with the obnoxious tittering of Usagi on screen, you can feel your thoughts begin to overlap, bumping into each other within the realm of your brain until all that comes out are the messiest of messy thoughts.

They go like this:

Most episodes of any anime run for approximately thirty minutes. Take out the commercial breaks, the opening and ending credits, and it becomes something closer to twenty. Twenty minutes per episode, filled with plot and gags and tears and whatever else necessary to make you feel something, anything really.

“What’s in your pocket?” you ask tentatively.

In contrast, it takes approximately two seconds for Jungkook’s lips to quirk up— first the right side, always the right side —and his eyes to crinkle. Two seconds for him to smile, a sweet expression that reminds you of Netflix and college and quiet laughter and tattoos and silly YouTube videos and cookies and cell phones and job applications and blond hair; two seconds to make you feel everything all at once.

“There’s nothing,” he says, but his cheeks are pink, and it’s not from the cold anymore. His smile is so big it makes your own cheeks ache just looking at it. You can’t even hear the television anymore. Never mind the fact you really like Sailor Moon, or that you really want to pay attention to every little detail; the moment becomes Jungkook and his big smile and his red cheeks and the tiny box he produces from within his pocket. “It was supposed to be for tomorrow,” he admits, unwrapping his arm from around you.

It’s a little funny, somehow, because his hands are covered in ink, in tiny doodles and intricate pieces of swirls and words that ooze this aura of strength and toughness. But they tremble when he opens it, as unsteady as a wispy dandelion on a windy day, fumbling with the box. And when you look closely, he’s been biting at the skin along his thumb again, that nervous habit you’ve been trying forever to help him overcome.

Someone is saying something on screen, something important to the plot. The volume is loud, but not as loud as your heart. Not as loud as Jungkook’s quiet murmur when he speaks again. “Will you marry me?” he asks softly, looks at you with flushed cheeks and big eyes and his heart on his sleeve.

The answer has always been the same, hasn’t changed since the first time he planted the seed in your mind. Still, it catches in your throat, nearly loses out to a surprised and emotional sob that you barely manage to bite down. You had just been speaking, had just been ready to deliver a whole spiel on the importance of him watching Sailor Moon with you. But when you try now, it’s raspy and dry, as if you haven’t used your voice in years. “I— yes,” you exhale, surprised by the lonely tear that trails down your cheek. You go to wipe it away, but Jungkook beats you with a gentle hand cupping your cheek.

His smile is wobbly, patches of red blossoming across his face that eventually consume his entire appearance as he leans his forehead against yours. Only then do you realize he’s crying, and you laugh out of reflex. “You’re crying,” you say, and Jungkook snorts.

“You cried first,” he sniffles, smiling. “You made me cry.”

He looks like a wreck, but, like, a hot wreck. An engaged, hot wreck who’s eyes flicker back to the TV to remind you to pause your anime, always so considerate. You do, hastily smashing buttons on the remote before remembering it’s controlled by your phone, hands flying back and forth as your nerves actively work to retire themselves after Jungkook’s proposal. “Easy there,” he soothes, eventually catching your hand in his, drawing it up for a kiss against your knuckles.

The ring fits perfectly, snuggly. Vaguely, a memory drifts through your thoughts of Jungkook and Doyeon on a rampant mission to reorganize your jewelry box a few months ago, but it disappears as quickly as it came. You’re taken by the ring, a simple band with a pretty diamond on top. It’s a good mixture of you and him; flashy yet mild.

“You love me,” you marvel, a revelation you’ve had the honor of experiencing time and time again with Jungkook. Still, it never fails to render you speechless. He hums.

“I do,” he says, taking your hand in his. “It’s the easiest thing for me. Like breathing, or existing. I think I was made to love you.” And normally, you’d be the first one to correct him. Jungkook was made for so much more, a fact he’s proven time and time again with his abilities and the sheer size of his heart. He was your golden boy, could do anything he set his mind to. Always amazing you, always making you fall in love all over again.

But now, with the weight of his words sitting heavy in the air, you find yourself incapable of negating the fact, instead sniffling at the meaning.

Pleased with your silence, Jungkook places another chaste kiss against your ring. “I love you, __,” he confesses, voice nearly a whisper. Your entire body feels as if it is doused in gasoline, lit aflame over and over again. Your heart threatens your rib cage, pounds away with the strength of a world renowned boxer. Jungkook’s hands curl around your wrists carefully. “I used to think we were like the moon and the sun,” he admits, “that you were my sun and I was your moon. In love but always separated by those thin veils of the sunrise and the sunset.” He pauses, nuzzling sweetly against your palm once more before gently guiding them down between the two of you. “But that really sucks— saying goodbye to you every night? I hate that, __. I hate watching you leave, I hate watching you run off in the mornings or halfway through the day, having to drive back and forth from your place to mine. I hate having to be away from you when all I wanna do is hold you. I— I want to be by your side,” he rambles, eyes nervously meeting yours. They’re still glassy, dark lashes framing his chocolate irises wonderfully. “Forever.”

Your heartbeat stutters, the simple word looping itself in your mind like that night in his dining room all over again, all the fantasies of having a forever with Jungkook bubbling to the surface. Jungkook pushes on. “You are my sun,” he says softly, mostly to himself. “But… I don’t wanna be the moon anymore. Being the moon means, eventually, I’ll have to say goodbye. In the night or in the morning, it always comes to an end. And I don't want there to be an end with you,” he insists, clutching your hand tightly. “I wanna be another star, the closest one to you. The one who gets to be with you forever. I wanna be by you and shine with you and—“

“Explode into a gazillion little fragments of cosmic dust with me,” you offer, and Jungkook nods along eagerly, too amped up on his speech to bother scolding you for your playful comment.

“Yes, I want to— to—“ The words catch in his throat. So much emotion from the man you once thought was the dictionary definition of calm and collected. “To—“

“Marry me,” you fill in, and Jungkook practically blows a fuse from how emotionally fired up he’s become, exclaiming a resolute, “yes!” that leaves you stupidly grinning back at him.

His outburst leaves him with flushed cheeks. “I do,” he reiterates in a softer tone, averting his gaze from you as if embarrassed by his cheesy outpouring of emotion. Usually, it’s the other way around; you make all the corny declarations of love and Jungkook laughs along suavely. It feels nice to have the tables turned.

There’s so much to say, but the words all fade away when Jungkook shyly looks at you again. You settle on tackling him back onto the couch cushions, taking his surprised little yelp in stride as you suffocate him in your embrace. “Save those words for the big day, superstar,” you giggle, peppering his red face with tiny kisses that make him scrunch up cutely. “I can’t wait to blow up into one huge supernova with you.”

Beneath you, Jungkook groans. “I’m sorry,” he huffs, voice muffled against your shoulder. Begrudgingly, his arms come up to envelope you, pulling you closer until the blanket scrunches up uncomfortably between you two. “That must’ve sounded so lame.”

Leaning back so you’re not completely squishing him, you carefully push his silvery hair away from his forehead. “Don’t be,” you assure him, placing one chaste peck against his pouty lips. “I thought it was cute. I didn’t know you were into astrology.”

A sigh. “Astronomy,” he corrects, “astrology has to do with zodiac signs and placements.”

You run your thumbs over his cheeks, collecting any of the drying tears that paint his face. “Oh, like how you’re a Virgo and I’m a“—

The TV remote you had lost somewhere along the way is suddenly rematerialized beneath your knee, sends the speakers blaring to life with a deafening screech that has both you and Jungkook leaping up like two frightened cats. “You always do this,” he laughs, that loud boyish sound that makes you feel like you’re sitting on a cloud. He watches you with a gentle smile as you hurriedly shut off the television, the remote haphazardly tossed somewhere behind you afterwards. You return to his embrace, wrap your arms around his waist and snuggle into his warmth. His heart thumps a steady rhythm beneath your ear.

“You’re gonna be stuck with me forever,” you warn him, clutching at the fabric of his shirt like he’ll suddenly disintegrate before your eyes.

Above you, Jungkook hums, placing a kiss against the crown of your head. “I look forward to it,” he responds, pulling you impossibly closer, until you can feel the wrinkles in his shirt imprinting themselves against your cheek. He’s back to being that suave bastard again, and you find yourself wishing you had milked those big crocodile tears out of him for just a little bit longer.

Fingers gently press against the muscles in your nape, push themselves in deeply until you can feel all the tension seeping out, turning you into a limbless blob over Jungkook. “Jeez,” you sigh, eyes fluttering shut. “And you wanted to wait until tomorrow.”

He huffs out a laugh. “I just thought you’d rather get engaged at a fancy restaurant with a pretty dress,” he defends, and you can hear the grin on his face. “For the photos.”

“Fair point,” you concede, eventually pushing yourself up so you’re not entirely squishing your boyfriend beneath you. Jungkook is already looking at you when you lift your head, has got this funny double-chin from this angle that makes his normally sharp jawline disappear. You find yourself tapping a finger against his chin, on the chocolate chip mole that hides itself beneath his plump bottom lip. “If anything, just propose to me again tomorrow at the restaurant.”

It wins you an eye-roll. “I’m not gonna propose to you again tomorrow,” he laughs, doesn’t even push you away when you become annoying and start tapping your fingers against all his beauty marks like you’re playing Whack-a-Mole.

“Booo,” you frown, but let it go soon enough, foregoing your little game to press your lips against his. “Then I better make this a night to remember,” you murmur, tilting your head to the side.

Your hands dip into his luscious locks, fingernails tracing thin lines along his scalp that are certain to send tingles down his spine. As predicted, Jungkook releases a quiet groan soon after, a sound that’s muffled against your own lips. He’s pliant tonight, but not in a way that would elude fatigue. Pliant in a way that suggests he wants you to take the reins tonight, exhaling softly against you as he parts his lips.

“Let me take care of you,” you hum, the hand that had been mindlessly hovering along his cheek drifting down to caress the side of his neck. Jungkook nods, his irises swimming in lust. You smile at his silent compliance, give his throat a light squeeze that makes his breathing hitch in surprise.

He’s always at his prettiest when he’s beneath you like this, limbs moving in slow motion as you guide him along. You can already feel the beginnings of his arousal stirring beneath the front of his sweats, his cock slowly making its presence known against your thigh. You press your lips against his once more, making sure to make it rougher than the first kiss. Your tongue is met with little resistance, slips past his lips and dips into the hot cave of his mouth where Jungkook releases another trembling breath.

Two hands come up behind you, trail themselves over your back and down to your ass, where he gives the two globes a tight squeeze. It draws a whimper out of you, one that Jungkook greedily swallows up. His tongue rubs up along yours, the wet muscle daringly pushing back against yours. His rebelliousness is only quelled with another press of your fingertips around his throat.

“Slow down,” you tell him. The first roll of your hips against him is slow, cruel in that you cut the motion short just as Jungkook begins to push back. A bratty huff escapes him, swollen pink lips pushing out into that endearing pout you love so much. It makes you grin, releasing the grip around his throat to carefully brush a stray strand of hair away from his eyes.

It’s a gesture that works to soften Jungkook as well, the petulant look on his face melting away as you trail your pointer finger along his cheekbone. It’s replaced with a more tender one, dark lashes blinking up at you slowly. “Open,” you command upon reaching his mouth, finger pressing down against his pink lower lip. Jungkook obeys, opening his mouth until you can see his pink tongue and the dark abyss that leads down his throat. Your finger pushes itself in, and Jungkook certainly doesn’t try to resist. His lips suction around the digit fairly quickly, tight enough to keep you there but loose enough for you to slowly draw your finger in and out, each short plunge pressing down against his tongue.

It’s a rather short affair, one that comes to an end when he accidentally bucks up against you, pressing his hardened member against your core. You retract your finger. “Can you,” he tries, but his cheeks are stained red and he refuses to meet your gaze. “Just…”

You intercept him with a chaste peck, maneuvering your legs until your knees are firmly pressed into the couch cushions beneath him, his thin waist trapped in between. When you sit up, you feel drunk on power and the way Jungkook looks up at you certainly doesn’t help. “Can I sit on your face?”

He chokes. “I— sure, please,” he blurts out. His gaze follows you as you slip off of him, quickly discarding your pants and top on the floor. One pat against his thigh has him hurrying to shimmy out of his clothes, his sweatpants caught around his ankles.

“You’re excited,” you laugh, stripping him of his bottoms when the frustration takes him over.

Jungkook scoffs. “Well, yeah,” he mumbles, tugging his shirt off with one smooth motion. The ink around his bicep is as dark as ever, contrasts wonderfully against his warm face. “My fiancée is gonna sit on my face.”

The title makes you preen, quickly finding your place on his lap once more. With your clothing out of the way, Jungkook really does become a furnace. Every inch of his body is hot to the touch, soft too. “Fiancée,” you giggle, hands on his chest. They slide down, fingers playfully nudging his brown nipples. Jungkook flinches at the touch. “Gonna sit on my fiancé’s face,” you parrot back, delicately pinching one nipple between your fingers. A moan spills from his lips, his cock pushing against your thigh once more.

It’s the reminder you need, pushing back dutifully against him as you continue to toy with his chest. He’d look pretty with piercings, you find yourself thinking, watching on in fascination at the way his pert nipples stand at attention. Beneath you, Jungkook begins to grow desperate, his hands finding their place on your waist to encourage you to grind down against him once more.

Jungkook swears up and down that he’s not particularly sensitive about having his nipples touched. But when you’ve got him like this, sinfully laid out before you, you can easily confirm that his claims are nothing but lies. He loves having his nipples touched, squirms beneath you impatiently with each playful tug and twist you bestow upon them.

You duck down, pressing a kiss against his pectoral, just beside his nipple, and Jungkook’s entire body shivers. A few careful drags of your tongue against his warm skin only serve to string him along further, the prettiest whimper pulling itself from his lips when you finally envelope one of them in your mouth. “Wait,” he gasps, clawing at your clothing as if he both wants to push you off and push you closer. You grin, brandishing one mean nip at the sensitive nub.

Eventually, your incessant need to play with Jungkook’s chest is fulfilled. “Lay back,” you instruct, watching as he shuffles down flat on the cushions, silver hair tumbling away from his eyes. He’s so red, eyes hazy. Your panties are discarded, joining the ever growing pile of clothes on the floor.

Once upon a time, the idea of sitting on Jungkook’s face had terrified you, filled you with nightmares of crushing his windpipe or breaking his nose. For the most part, they’re pretty unrealistic fears, ones that can be easily shut down after one careful Google search on safe sexual practices. These days, it’s all too easy; in the mornings, especially, it’s become natural for him to guide you on top carefully, holding your hand as you whimper and sob over his face.

In the current moment, you find yourself stroking a hand down the side of his face, completely enamored with the huge puppy eyes he levels your way. Jungkook likes having your pussy in his face just as much as you do, loves making you feel good in any way he knows how. But there’s a separate matter at hand, one that stands at attention beneath his black boxers and successfully wins your attention.

Truthfully, there is no dilemma to ponder over; you want both to ride Jungkook’s face and suck him off. The solution?

“We’ve never done this before,” Jungkook mumbles in amazement, his voice slightly muffled from his position beneath you and slightly behind you. Still, his arms dutifully wrap around your thighs, guiding you closer to his mouth where his hot breath fans against your glistening folds. You rock back willingly, hands preoccupied with pushing his boxers down and away from his engorged cock.

“Really?” you ask, suddenly feeling overwhelmed with the cock before you and the tongue that gently laps at your folds. Jungkook makes a sound, something between a hum and whimper, his mouth slowly getting to work against your folds. “M- Maybe,” you stutter, all thought processes coming to a halt as you carefully take him in your hand.

His cock is hard and long, his tip an angry shade that weeps with precum. From this angle, you get to watch Jungkook’s huge thighs twitch at the sensation, the tattoo that marks up one of them doing little to hide the fact. Your hand squeezes him, watches in awe as another fat droplet oozes out of his tip. A moan tears itself from his throat, and it’s so goddamn sexy it nearly drives you insane.

It’s one particularly long lap of his tongue over your clit that sends you into action, back arching at the tingles that shoot down your spine. Wasting no more time, you guide Jungkook’s cock into your mouth, let your own tongue shower his mushroom tip in kitten licks that have him bucking upwards. He releases your clit with a lewd pop, hot breath fanning across your lips. “Fuck,” he gasps, voice harsh.

Admittedly, it’s more difficult than you thought it would be.

You’re not one to be easily overwhelmed (says you), but with Jungkook’s twitching cock in your mouth and his teasing tongue dipping into your entrance, it becomes hard to juggle your attention between the two. Even Jungkook, who is quite frankly the master of cunnilingus, seems torn between the two, his breathing shallow and quick against your folds.

With each slow descent around his cock, he shudders, thigh muscles tightening in anticipation. It causes a lull in the pace of his tongue, the generous kisses and licks against your folds subject to a somewhat uneven pace that, surprisingly, leaves you more on edge than you’d ever expected it to; right when you think he’s about to suck your clit into his mouth, you’re met with a harsh exhale instead, one that makes your lips flutter.

You’re both disappointed in yourselves for never having tried this mind-blowing position before, and equal parts understanding as to why you haven’t tried this position before— it’s a lot. His cock is halfway down your throat when it twitches, sends a gush of precum into your mouth that has your eyes rolling backwards, a whine slipping out around him. Jungkook appreciates the vibrations, letting it fuel him as he plunges his tongue into your hole. It’s a two way street, you realize, one that is constantly experiencing traffic.

“Baby,” you gasp, pulling off of his cock with a slick sound, hypnotized by the trail of saliva that connects your lips to his tip. Jungkook’s tongue prods along your slit, makes your eyesight go blurry when the tip of his nose brushes along you as well. The idea of his cute nose buried deep someplace it shouldn’t be has you grinding down on him. “We can— we should stop,” you stutter, your trembling hand reaching forward to grasp the base of his cock.

He’s slick with your saliva and his precum, and your hand makes a squelching sound upon contact. It must feel good, because Jungkook moans against your folds, his thighs unconsciously falling farther apart as you slowly jerk him off. You think you might’ve heard your name slip from his lips, but your mind is fuzzy, lost in your lust as Jungkook licks a sinful line from your hole to your clit, curling his tongue at the end. “J- Jungkook,” you cry, flinching away because it’s become too much, your toes curling as the beginnings of an orgasm threaten you.

Before that can happen, he relents, leaning back with a heavy exhale, his hands loosening their grip against your ass and plopping back down against the cushions. “Fuck,” he pants, his cock twitching in your hold. A lonely droplet of precum trails down the side, your knuckles coated in the glossy substance. Beneath you, Jungkook rubs one soothing palm against your hip.

You slink off before he can get any funny ideas, maneuver yourself around until you’re kneeling between his parted thighs, his fat cock standing at attention between the two of you. From here, he looks ravenous, and you begin to question who exactly is taking care of who. Jungkook looks like he’s a second away from pinning you down and swallowing you whole, a thought that makes your toes curl.

It’s with a cautiously horny hand that you reach for his cock again, holding him with both hands. Jungkook growls, head lolling backwards until all you can see is his neck and his chin, thick veins protruding along his skin. Jungkook doesn’t waste a moment longer. “C’mere,” he purrs, hauling you up until you’re clumsily leaning over him, palms framing his face. A lone finger runs down your spine, its faint touch making you arch forward. “Sorry,” he says, securing an arm around your waist. “I know you wanted to take care of me, but…”

You roll your eyes, submitting yourself to his clutches as he masterfully rolls the two of you over. The couch is soft beneath your back, and Jungkook looks pretty from above too. “You just can’t sit still, can you?” you murmur playfully.

Jungkook’s forearms find their place beneath your thighs, the fold of the back of your knee perfectly slotted against his warm skin as he shuffles closer. “Maybe another time,” he laughs along sheepishly, his hard cock gliding over your slit, teasing your clit. You gulp, eyes scanning over his lean build as if it’s the first time. “Sorry,” he repeats, but he’s got this stupidly dopey grin on his face as he glances down at your pussy; he’s insane, he’s got to be, what man makes heart eyes at a pussy?

Your man, apparently. Grasping the base of his cock, Jungkook takes care to drag it along your folds collecting your wetness along his length, a deep shudder wracking his body through it all. “I knew you would do this to me,” he mutters, so low you nearly miss it under the thundering sound of your heartbeat.

“Huh,” you mumble, and you’d like to defend yourself and say you weren’t as cock-crazy as Jungkook was coochie-crazy, but that would be a lie. You’re staring at his cock as if it holds the secrets to the universe right now.

Jungkook juts his head to the side, a motion similar to the one he does when he’s trying to crack his neck. His tongue prods along his cheek, eyes laser-focused on the point where your two bodies meet. “From the moment you walked into my house,” he grunts mindlessly, finally lining himself up with your entrance. He chances a glance up, meets your gaze with a patient look, “all good?”

“All good,” you hurriedly reply, fingers finding their place against his broad shoulders. With the way he had prepared you earlier, mouthed along your clit and your folds until you were pleasantly aroused, the glide now is too easy. Tight, but easy, has the two of you releasing twin moans that echo off the wooden walls of the cabin.

Jungkook’s forehead is covered in a thin veil of sweat, one that glistens when the evening sunset pours in through the balcony doors, highlighting him in a golden light that makes you dizzy. The angry tip of his cock sinks into your walls, Jungkook’s ashy strands sticking to his forehead and his cheeks. For some reason, you find yourself reminiscing on the aforementioned moment Jungkook had spoken of. Of the soft sweater he’d worn that day and the dinner he had made, the blond tips on his chestnut hair and the way he’d clung onto every word you’d said.

It makes you tear up, and, after laughing at Jungkook early for crying, you quickly turn your face away.

Jungkook isn’t dumb. “What now,” he chuckles, though his breathing is labored, every inch of his cock that penetrates you further bringing with it another rush of adrenaline. At the hilt, you’re embarrassed to say there’s multiple tears streaming down your face, so you can’t even play it off as you usually do. “Crybaby,” Jungkook teases, but his voice is so soft and tender you don’t know what to do with yourself.

“Just move,” you bite out, shamefully covering your face with your hands. Jungkook leans over you, the movement pushing his dick deeper inside of you, your walls clenching around him. A kiss is placed over your knuckles, just shy of your engagement ring. Your chest lurches with a silent sob. “Jungkook,” you whimper, sinking further into the cushion, “please, just—“

“I got it,” he assures you, placing one final peck against your handmade (literally) shield. And then, so quietly you almost miss it, he makes sure to whisper, “love you,” before unsheathing himself.

You shudder, your heart feeling so full, you fear it’ll burst. You both love and hate when he treats you like this, like an ice sculpture in the scorching heat that has him doing everything he can to keep you solid. His touch is soft, the roll of his hips too slow for your liking. You feel so small and vulnerable— too pampered. “Harder,” you beg, your voice an airy whine that has Jungkook chuckling above you.

He lives to please you, hiking your leg over his shoulder with a renewed vigor. His hands find themselves on your waist, forcefully pinning you down against the couch cushions as he sets upon fulfilling your latest request. The next series of thrusts are jerky, have you jostling in his grip as Jungkook pounds into you with an all new mindset. “Lemme see you,” he huffs, thumbs painfully digging into your skin. You tremble in his arms, heart swayed by the quiet plea in his voice. “Let me see your face, pretty girl.”

Reluctantly, you do, brandishing your tear-stricken face his way. Jungkook smiles, that stupidly handsome smile, his hips snapping into you roughly. “Fuck,” he moans, the expression never leaving his face, even when run your nails over his chest harshly. “You’re so pretty.”

You ignore him for the sake of your already weakened mental state, focusing instead on the brutal force of his hips, the way his cock stretches your walls out. Each push has you seeing stars, thighs quivering from the sensations that shoot up your spine and down your toes. “Oh,” you mewl, hands gripping his biceps as you lose yourself to him. Your eyes roll back, vision a mess of colors and nothingness all at once.

“Is this hard enough?” Jungkook husks out, and he sounds so close. His proximity is confirmed when his mouth slots against yours, his harsh breath mingling with your own as he continues to frantically buck into your inviting heat, each new round of thrusts leaving you weaker and weaker than before. “God,” Jungkook cries, the sound nearly lost beneath your own moans and whimpers. “Gonna k- keep you forever,” he spits, tongue slipping into your mouth.

He’s messier than usual, moves with unrefined movements unlike his normal self. You don’t care, you love him all the same. His sloppy kisses turn into desperate ones, matching the pace of his hips. “Kook,” you sob, arms wrapping themselves around his neck, pulling him close until his thrusts are reduced to a shallower depth.

“I’ve got you,” he croons, lips against your jawline. His cock presses in and you swear you feel it alongside every inch of your walls, a warmth blossoming in your stomach. He’s layering messy kisses down your face now, lips sucking dark marks any chance he gets.

True to his word, Jungkook indeed has you. His cock pistons in and out at an astonishing pace, each surge into your folds making you dizzy over and over again. It’s a feeling you fear you’ll never grow tired of, in fact, it’s a feeling you fear you’ll begin to crave even more in the future. The good thing is, that future will extend into forever.

You yank him towards you, swallow his low laughter with your lips. Jungkook doesn’t complain, lowering himself until he’s practically squishing you beneath his beefy body, cock ramming in and out despite all that. His tongue glides along yours, makes it his mission to muffle each of your cries.

It doesn’t take long for you to be fulfilled. Given the fact you had sucked him off like a lollipop whilst having him eat you out, you’re not entirely surprised. That and the emotions of tonight have you melting into him sooner than you’d like, his name falling from your lips as your thighs clamp down around his waist. Jungkook takes it in stride, slows the maddening pace of his hips to cradle you in his arms. You’re like jelly, practically flop back into the cushion when he slips an arm beneath you. “You’re so good for me,” Jungkook praises, lavishing your throat in tiny pecks as his orgasm circles around. “My pretty girl.”

“Love you,” you sigh, and your body feels numb, his intrusion but a small touch now that he’s tired you out once more, your walls tender and raw. Jungkook presses a smile against your throat and, moments later, releases inside of you.

Even minutes after the deed, the feeling refuses to return to your legs. He didn’t go that hard— well, you’re not entirely sure. The memories always become blurry toward the end of your escapades. Everything rushes back in waves, and for some reason, your first thought is, “where’s Sailor Moon?”

Your post-rump conversations have never been the most coherent, usually filled with pretty weird thoughts and ideas. Still, more grand things have happened tonight for you to be worried about a magical anime girl. Jungkook draws himself out of your core with a huff of laughter. “On the TV,” he answers, unfazed by the oddity of your question.

That’s how you know he’s a keeper.

It takes a while, but eventually Jungkook responds. “Avocado toast,” he says, though his answer is dripping with uncertainty. He’s naked as the day he was born, snuggled up beside you in bed. He’s propped up on one arm, looking down at you over the ample swell of his manly bosom. It takes everything in you to keep your hands off his chest.

“Correct,” you respond, “and what movie did we watch?”

Without missing a beat, “Transformers, the first one.”

You nod, glancing at the ceiling as you rack your brain for any other trivia questions to ask your fiancé. “The title of the playlist you made?”

A flush paints his cheeks. “Date Night playlist,” he answers through a pout, reprimanding you for bringing up such a memory with a flick to your forehead. You wince. “I was young and silly,” he defends.

You beam, cuddling into his side until he’s forced to lay back down. “Yeah, yeah,” you tease. “We’re only gonna get older from here,” you lament. You’d say it’s difficult to picture him with a gray head of hair, but his current silvery locks don’t leave much room for your imagination.

Jungkook pulls you close. A beat of silence passes, and then, “so who are we telling first?”

Definitely Namjoon.

#networkbangtan #jungkook smut #jeon jungkook smut #jungkook #Jungkook fic #jeon jungkook fic #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook x reader smut #bts fic #bts smut #mine

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twinkleimagines · 3 years

Text

*can we still be friends?*

You and Drew dated throughout high school and even college, but after college Drew decided to move to Atlanta, leaving you behind with a broken heart. Years later you find eachother by accident , and Drew wants to spark things back up.

WARNING : smut, language!

- also, this was not proof read so fair warning 😂

“ OH MY GOD!” You screamed as you looked over your recent email you had just received .

“ what?!” Your roommate yelled from her bedroom in panic. You met her in the hallway from your room, a wide grin on your face as you held your phone against your chest.

“ y/n if you don’t tell me what the hell you’re up here screaming for “ she replied before you turned your phone around facing her .

“ no fucking way “ she beamed in excitement as she read the email.

“ I got the part “ you grinned excitedly. You had been auditioning for acting parts since you had graduated college . You had gotten small one - two line scenes that paid decent but you had yet to get a big role. Today though you had gotten an email from your agent that you had gotten the role for a character on a new Netflix show called ‘ outer banks’ . You had gotten the role to be a pogue. You weren’t a main character but you were going to be definitely known on screen .

“ oh my fucking god!” She screamed out , you both jumping with excitement.

“Wait when do you start? Where are they filming?” She asked .

“ Charleston South Carolina ! It says I’m suppose to be there by tomorrow morning “ you beamed.

“ we’ll what the hell are you doing still standing here ?! Go pack! “ she demanded.

****

“Y/n you ready?” You agent asked from the Uber you were both in.

“ I am so ready” you beamed excitedly.

“ okay we’ll were meeting some of the producers and casts for a chemistry reading “ you looked over at her in confusion.

“ but I already did a chemistry reading “ you replied.

“ yes with the ‘ pogues’ “ she replied. “ your character is going to be having most her interactions with two ‘kooks’ and they just want to test the waters to see how well you guys don’t get along”. You shook your head.

“ oh, whatever “ you shrugged. It didn’t take long to get to the location that you would soon be filming at and you had honestly became overly excited.

“ Hi y/n I’m Jonas, we talked briefly over the phone a few times” Jonas said while shaking your hand.

“ yes I remember , hi!” You replied excitedly .

“ okay so I’m going to have you come into this room and then you and a couple of the other actors are just going to go over your lines , nothing to major” he reassured. You nodded in agreement following behind .

You walked in, almost stopping dead in your tracks as you scanned the room. There were three men, one you knew all too well.

“ this is Austin, Deion , and Drew.” Jonas spoke.

You didn’t hear much of what else Jonas was saying as you and Drew made eye contact, him seeming just as surprised as you. The tension between the two of you could be cut with a knife it was so thick, considering the last time you ever spoke to him ended horribly .

~~~

“ Drew” you said walking out from his bedroom at his moms house .

“ yeah princess “ he replied walking out of his mother’s kitchen towards you.

“ what’s this about Atlanta?” You asked holding up his laptop with a search history for apartments in Atlanta Georgia. He sighed nervously running his hands through his hair.

“ princess I was going to tell you” he replied stepping forward. You quickly stepped back scoffing while shaking your head .

“ tell me what drew?” It was pretty obvious what the answer was but you were angry and wanted to hear it from his own mouth. Drew sat for a second, knowing everything was about to fall apart once he told you his plans.

“ I’m moving to Atlanta “ he responded finally, his eyes lowering to to the ground. Even though you subconsciously knew what he was going to say, once he finally did it really hit you hard.

“ drew” you responded in disappointment. “ you know I have one year left in school I can’t move to Atlanta “ you replied. It was true , Drew was a year older than you . You had gotten together your sophomore year in high school while he was a junior and been together ever since. You even went to the same college as him so you guys would be together . You both were passionate on the same career which made it easier, but the fact that when it was his turn to wait on you he wouldn’t.

“ princess I know , I figured we can do a long distance thing” your eyes widened in shock.

“ Drew you’re going to be a whole state away are you serious?!”you replied, your hands thrown in the air .

“Y/n there’s no opportunities for me here , you know I’ve always wanted to go to the big cities to pursue in acting .” He replied his voice now rising as well.

“ yeah but” you responded, your voice lowering as tears began to form in your eyes. “ you’re leaving me behind” . It hurt so bad that Drew was leaving. Of course you wanted him to prosper in life but you had been doing everything and even putting some job opportunities on hold so you wouldn’t be away from him, but the one time it was his turn, you weren’t his choice .

“ y/n-“

“ no just forget it Drew. Enjoy Atlanta” you responded before leaving towards his room to pack your stuff, soon leaving Drew’s home, never speaking to him again.

~~~

“ Rafe and Callie- go ahead with your scene” Jonas asked as he pointed down to the sheet of paper going over a short scene between the two of your characters .

“ listen Callie you and your dirty pogues need to stay off of figure 8 ok” Drew spoke with hatred, looking up at you waiting for your response .

“ you know what” you replied sitting up in your seat. “ you kooks are all the same . “ you spat out . You could feel anger building among yourself , not because of getting into character, but more because of your true anger towards Drew was beginning to flow out.

“ is that so?” He relied.

“ YES Rafe!” You interrupted. “ you only care about yourself. You’re all selfish and self centered. You always get what you want no matter who gets hurt in the way” Drew sat for a second. He could tell from the look on your face that even though those words were written for Rafe, he knew you meant it directly towards him.

“ the only dirty one here is you Rafe “ you spat out, scolding him from a cross the table . You quickly were snapped out of your trance when you heard clapping from the side of you, Jonas laughing with excitement.

“ man that’s exactly what I’m talking about sweet heart!” He said pointing at you. You chuckled before glancing at Drew , seeing him almost look, upset?

—

It didn’t take you long to find your way to your trailer . All of your excitement about the new gig had gone flying out the window the moment you realized one of the cast members was the same person who shattered your heart years ago.

If we’re being honest , Drew was the reason you had made it to where you were now . Not to give him full credit , but after he chose to pursue in his career and not you, you had decided for yourself you would do nothing but make it to the top and make sure that you never chose anyone over yourself again and was all you had been doing at this point.

You sat staring at yourself in your mirror before you heard a gentle knock against your trailer.

Your stomach did somersaults as you knew exactly who it was. You hesitated for a second before you finally got up from your chair, making your way to the door.

You rolled your eyes as you saw the tall brunette standing behind the door of your trailer . You turned away, letting him in as you went to your couch.

“ Well uhm” he spoke nervously , running his hands through his hair. You looked up at him in anger as you waited for him to respond.

“ I wanted to see you.” He responded making his way over to you. “ it’s been a while” he finished now standing directly above you. You scoffed crossing your arms .

“ you can say that” you mumbled.

“ look I know we left on bad terms-“

“ no Drew you left on bad terms. Let’s clear that up “ you interrupted standing up. Drew took a step back giving you space before nodding, looking down.

“ I understand why you’re upset . But I want you to know I wasn’t leaving you. I was just leaving North Carolina. There were bigger opportunities out there for me and I was going to get them started staying back at home. I just-“ you put your hand in the space between you and him.

“ Drew you left me “ you responded, your voice s bit softer than it was. “ I went to the same school as you so we could be together. I turned down so many opportunities for us. I put my life on hold-“

“ I never asked you to!” Drew responded finally snapping. You sat for a second, shocked at his words . “ and if we’re being honest I would’ve never ask you to” you shook your head in disbelief . Your anger was causing you to be blind to the truth Drew was saying. He was absolutely right but you had never sat back and thought about it.

“ you know what Drew” you spat out, tears beginning to form once again. “ it’s a good thing you’re playing the kook king- yanno since he’s so damn selfish”.

Drew was taken back from your words. You didn’t mean it at all but you were so built up with anger from why a happened years ago that the words just slipped out. Drew nodded his head slowly before making his way out of your trailer without another word said .

You gasped, realizing how harsh you were to him. your hand flew to your mouth as you let out sobs thinking about the words you had just said

You sat silently in your trailer as you thought about the conversation you had just had . You knew Drew was right. He never actually told you to do any of the things you had done, you had just done them because you believed the relationship was more important than your goals in life. And now you realize it was really you who had left Drew. You could’ve worked through long distance, and followed him to Atlanta later but instead you left your selfishness and anger get the best of you.

You realized it was really you who needed to apologize so you quickly gathered your composer before making your way outside, searching for Drew’s trailer. Once you had found it you began frantically knocking , only for no one to answer.

“ y/n?” You heard from behind you. You turned around for it to be Drew. You wanted to do nothing but run and wrap your arms around him but instead you stood still, looking at him with puffy eyes.

“I-I’m sorry “ you blurted out. Drew’s eyes widened before he grabbed your arm .

“C’mon let’s take this somewhere more private” he spoke , guiding you into his trailer before shutting g the door behind you.

“ Drew you were right . I was just so mad I couldn’t even see that it was really me being selfish. And for that I am so sorry. “ Drew sat quietly , listening to go on and on about how sorry you were even though he had forgave you before he had even dry your own trailer.

“ y/n” he responded interrupting you during your rant . “ y/n just hush for a second” he responded with a slight chuckle . You nodded, wiping your face.

“ y/n I was wrong for not communicating with you. I should’ve chased you and brought you with, and if long distance wouldn’t have worked - I should’ve stayed behind and waited until you finished school” he responded grabbing a hold of your hand. You should your head in disagreement.

“ no, because you wouldn’t be here” you responded .

“ well regardless- I have missed you so damn much” he relied before pulling you towards him, placing his lips against yours. It was weird but such a familiar feeling that you hadn’t even realized how much you had missed it as well.

After both pulled away from the kiss, Drew looked down at you, grinning.

“ what “ you scoffed with a smirk following .

“ I can’t believe we’re about to play enemies on this show “ he spoke out causing you both to laugh loudly.

*****

It had been over a month since you and Drew reconnected. Things had definitely began to look up for the both of you. You had made many friends amongst the cast and even though you and Drew weren’t dating, feelings were definitely sparking between the two.

“ what are you up to tonight?” Drew asked as you both sat in the field , watching the cast film a scene.

“ I was honestly going to just stay in my apartment and watch tv tonight. You?” You responded, leaned back against the grass propped up on your hands.

“ oh” he replied, looking back out into the field.

“ I am making mom‘s chicken casserole so I was going to see if maybe they wanted to come over and have some?” He asked. You grinned. His mother’s chicken casserole was one of your favorite dinners she had ever made and Drew knew that. You nodded with a grin plastered across your face causing Drew too smile as well. You could almost say his cheeks were turning red.

***

You sighed heavily as you looked over your outfit in your mirror in your bathroom. You wanted to look cute, but casual so you dressed in jeans and a loose pink tank, a few pieces of jewelry and tennis shoes.

It was obvious that you were beyond nervous to see him because despite being around Drew, this was the first time you both were going to spend one on one quality time together without somebody else including themselves in. just being able to be around him though and spending time with him even if it included others, you had regrown the feelings you once had for Drew over time, but you weren’t sure at this point if the feelings were mutual. Drew had changed and matured so much over the few years you had been away , and of course you had too so things were the same , but very different.

“ hey” Drew said with a smile as he opened the door, seeing you stand on the other side.

“ hey” you grinned slyly before walking in.

“ mmmm” you moaned out, smelling the food in the oven. “ boy does that bring back memories .” Drew chuckled before scratching the back of his head nervously .

“ yeah I was thinking the same” he replied before making his way into the kitchen, opening the oven to check on it.

You looked around his apartment. It was crazy to see that his style in furniture and agriculture was still the same as it was when he was younger.

It almost made you sad that you had missed out on Drew’s growth since college. You quickly shook the sadness feeling away before making your way next to him , watching contently as he took the pan out of the oven.

“ oooohh yum” you beamed excitedly placing your hands together in front of you.

“ want to grab the plates?” He asked as he grabbed a spatula to help break the chicken up. You nodded before making your way to his cabinet, grabbing two plates out. It was quiet as you both fixed your plates, making your way to his couch. Since the producers only provided studio sized apartments for the time you were there , there wasn’t much space for tables so it was either the couch or standing.

“ Drew, I know I haven’t said this yet, but I am so proud of you” you finally spoke, breaking the silence. He looked over at you , a grin forming against his face as he chewed through his bite.

“ I’m serious “ you responded , not taking your eyes off of Drew. “ imagine if I really held you back like I tried . You wouldn’t be where you’re at now.“ you said. It was almost like you were saying it to yourself . You were finally realizing that it was you in the wrong in the long run. To even ask Drew to stay behind and not follow his dreams was just selfish .

“Y/n stop beating yourself over this okay? We’ve both made decisions in the past that we regret but look at us now” he responded. He didn’t need to go into detail but he was right . It became silent once again, just the sound of his tv going in the background ( that neither of you were actually paying attention to) .

“ this honestly tastes just like your moms” you laughed out in shock.

“ yanno why do you sound so surprised?” He jokingly argued, his head cocked towards you.

“ because Drew” you laughed out thinking of the memory you were about to speak of. “ you couldn’t even cook your hot pocket in the microwave without burning it” you both laughed as you thought about Drew’s multiple attempts to cooking that never worked out. When the laughing between you two died down, Drew stared intently into your eyes before he leaned in, placing his lips against yours. Your body immediately pushed forward towards his, pressing into the kiss.

Your eyes widened once you realized what was happening before pulling away, placing your hands over your mouth.

“ Drew” you spoke out softly. You were so unsure on whether this was really what he wanted that you didn’t want him to do something he’d regret.

“ y/n it’s okay” he reassured gently, before placing his hands against the side of your face, placing his lips against yours once again. This time you caved in, your hands finding their way to the back of his head, your fingers intwining through his hair.

You moaned slightly as his hands pressed firmly against your hips, pulling you up onto his lap. You began moving your hips against his, pressing your crotch against his for friction. Drew’s long fingers pressed against your bottom as he pushed you forward against him, deep throaty groans following behind.

“ lay down on the couch “ he demanded , his voice low and deep. You and Drew had slept together of course when you were younger , but something seemed different this time, more dominant was more like it. You bit your bottom lips as you removed yourself from Drew, quickly pushing your jeans down and off of you before laying down across the couch as Drew had instructed, your head landed on the arm rest.

Drew hovered over you, placing sloppy kisses down your neck, trailing down to your breast. You watched intensely as he pulled your breast out from above your shirt , groping them in his large hands. You hissed slightly as he pinched around your exposed nipple before placing your right nipple in his mouth.

You closed your eyes in pure bliss, your bottom lip pressed in between your teeth.

Your eyes reopened when you felt his fingers tuck under your underwear, before tugging them down , tossing them next to where your pants laid. Your eyes furrowed together . In all the years you had been together, Drew had never given you head . He was just too insecure that he wouldn’t do it good so seeing him down there , his lips trailing up your thigh to your heated core was beyond shocking.

You gasped loudly as he finally placed his mouth where you wanted him, his tongue doing one long stroke against your slit before lightly sucking on your clit.

“ Drew” you moaned out . You were tempted to ask where he learned this from but you knew that wouldn’t be an appropriate question nor would you really want to hear the answer.

At this point Drew was doing wonders on your heated area, so much that you couldn’t even hold the moans in. The way his tongue and finger both simultaneously worked against you had you coming to your orgasm quicker than anything.

“ fuck Drew!” you moaned out as you bucked your hips up against his face as you felt that familiar tingle feeling. Before you could even finish your climax, Drew’s lips clashed against yours, your own taste filling your mouth as his tongue fought for dominance over yours. Drew reached in between the two of you , , pulling his rock hard member out before before quickly sliding into your already soaking wet core.

Your arms looped under his as your hands landed on his back, your nails immediately began to dig as his hips moved at a fast pace against yours . Your body rocked against his couch as he pounded in you over and over, his member filling you more than you had ever remembered. He placed his lips against yours again as you let uncontrollable moans.

Drew placed one hand against the arm of the couch, his bicep flexing over your head as he continued to grind himself into you at continuous beat.

“ god I’m getting close” he groaned out , his words barely audible as he became out of breath from moving so fast .

You quickly wrapped your legs around him, causing him to go in even deeper than before . He threw his head back in pleasure , the veins in his neck popping out as his thrusts became sloppy. You pressed your lips deep against his as you felt yourself cum around him as well as his movements began to slow down, eventually becoming to a haunt.

Drew sat for a second, his forehead placed against yours as he caught his breath before he sat back up off of you, helping you sit up.

It was quiet as you both cleaned yourself before you sat back down on the couch next to him, still slightly worn out.

“ damn Drew “ you laughed out, running your now tangled hair towards the back of your head . “ you fucked the shit out of me “ you stated, causing him to chuckle.

“ like I said , I really missed you over those years” he said with a cocky smirk following . You shook your head while grinning, turning your eyes away from him.

“ do you maybe want to stay the night?” He asked , this time with seriousness. You looked over at him, a smile present on your face .

“ yeah I’d like that” you responded.

Maybe what they say is true.

If it’s meant to be, it’ll find its way back. ❤️

*****

I almost deleted this whole thing because Idk just didn’t really like it but I know I’ve been incognito for almost a week so I figured I’d post it anyways. Another fic called ‘Keep your hands to yourself ‘will be posted tonight though so anyone want to be tagged let me know ❤️

@maybanks-smile @tremendousalpacawitch @multifanofkpopgroups @lilyrosemelodydeppp

@Littlementalpolariods

@mrs-cameron

@bigdrewenergy @imjustanothernerd

#drew starkey #obx #smut #drew starkey fanfiction #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe cameron imagine #drew starkey imagine #obx fiction #drew starkey dirty imagine #drew starkey smut #obx smut #obx dirty imagine

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bonjour-rainycity · 3 years

Text

Imagine: Being friends with Alice and asking Carlisle for help on your chemistry homework

Characters: Cullen family, female reader

Rating: G

Word count: 2120

Warnings: None

Request by anon: Wait, omg I’m so happy I found a blog that’s updated recently and I’m definitely gonna ✨stalk✨ your blog and read all your writing after hw but if you’re still doing requests, I thought of something that I would just love to see written. And this could be short or something, y’know? It can be whatever you want it to be, but what if the reader is somewhat friends with the Cullens? Reader (maybe like 20 years old?) is invited to their house one weekend after bumping into Alice and becoming friends and from passing conversation, reader knows that Carlisle is a doctor so she asks him if he could help her with her organic chemistry hw cause she’s studying to be a med student?

A/n Wow I’m so sorry this took me so long! It’s such a cute request and I loved writing it! Thanks for sending it in and for being patient with me :)

Shoot.

Mentally, I groan, stopping my progress towards my car.

I still have chem homework.

I fiddle with the keys in my hand, contemplating. You could go home…lay in bed…maybe with a pint of ice cream…and pass out in a stress and sugar-induced coma.

Oh, how tempting.

But then I remind myself of why I’m putting myself through the hell that is a STEM degree, and turn on my heel, heading back to campus. I know I won’t get any work done if I go home, so the library it is! Thank goodness it’s open twenty-four hours, because it’s creeping up to eleven and I don’t have the heart to return to one of the academic buildings.

Seeing as it’s Friday night, the library isn’t crowded. Still, I push past all the tables on the first floor and head up to my favorite spot on the second. Settling in at my favorite partially secluded table, I pull out my organic chemistry textbook, pop in my earbuds, and get to work.

{***}

A small, pale hand skims over the table near my book, and I look up with a start.

Alice Cullen stands by my desk, clutching a set of books that look too heavy for her thin arms, but she seems to be managing fine. She and I met during the first week of classes, and have been tentative friends ever since. We don’t see much of each other, given our varying degree programs, but she always greets me with a friendly smile and an offer to join her to study. I pull out my headphones, and give her a tired smile. “Hey, how’s it going?”

“Good!” She smiles excitedly, somehow keeping her energy levels at—I check the time on my phone—1:12 am! “Have you been here for long?”

I shrug, feeling the weight of the late hour on my shoulders. “Since around eleven. I was going home but then I forgot I have o-chem homework. I don’t think it should be taking me this long, but I’m struggling. Thankfully only half of it is due in the morning. The rest isn’t due until after the weekend.”

Alice peers over to look at my book and the problems I work through in my notebook. “Oh, those do look hard. But you know, my dad is a doctor, and he probably knows this stuff like the back of his hand. He’d be more than happy to help you.”

I blanch. An invitation to the Cullen’s house? And free help on o-chem homework?

But then I remember my manners. “Oh, thank you, but I couldn’t—”

“Please,” she squeaks, balancing her books in one arm and using the other to retrieve her phone. “We’d be happy to have you over! I’ll let my family know. Does tomorrow around lunchtime work?”

“Uh,” I swallow, not sure I’m believing my ears. “That works great, thank you! I can bring the food?”

She shakes her head, waving off the offer. “Don’t worry about it—Mom loves to cook and will be excited to really use the kitchen. Oh! And there’s this new series my sisters and I have been dying to watch. It’s called Broadchurch. Have you heard of it? Maybe we can start it and see if it’s any good!”

I nod dumbly, too tired and relieved for the help to refuse again. “That sounds fun! Thank you.”

“Of course,” she smiles, shrugging like it’s nothing. “What are friends for?”

My smile softens. She considers us friends. “Do you want to walk out together? It’s pretty late.”

She beams and waits while I collect my stuff.

{***}

I pull up to the front of the massive house.

Alice is waiting for me on the porch. She waves excitedly, and I notice her fiancé standing near the door, looking uncomfortable. I stifle a chuckle. It’s well-known that Jasper, introvert in every sense of the word, fell hard for Alice who is the embodiment of an extravert. I wave, grabbing my backpack and stepping out of the car.

“Welcome,” Alice practically shouts. Jasper gives me a polite nod.

I smile at the two of them, calling out my hello’s and climbing the stairs to the porch. The second Jasper opens the door, I’m greeted by the warm smile of Esme Cullen.

“Hello, Y/n, welcome to our home! We are so happy to have you here.” She extends a warm smile, one I can’t help but return immediately.

Alice leads us straight to the living room, where two of her adoptive siblings, Emmett and Rosalie, lounge. Rosalie sketches something I can’t see, and Emmett yells loudly at the TV, losing at a video game.

“Beat it, Emmett,” Alice chirps, dancing over and taking the controller from his hands. “We’re going to watch Broadchurch.”

Putting his frustration at the game aside, Emmett grins, standing and ruffling Alice’s hair. “Alright, I was getting my ass kicked anyway. Hey, Y/n, good to see you again.”

I return his greeting, familiar with Emmett from an intro to theatre class we had together last semester. The image of his interpretation of Juliet for our final project comes to mind, and I have to stifle a laugh. Emmett goes to leave the room, pulling Jasper with him.

“Send Bella down, would you,” Alice calls after them, already settling on the couch. “Rose, you know Y/n, right?”

Rosalie looks up from her sketching. She smiles briefly at me, then returns to her task. I sit awkwardly next to Alice, waiting for Bella so we can start the show.

“There aren’t many women in STEM.”

My head shoots up, wide eyes turning in Rosalie’s direction. She doesn’t look up from her work, but I know she’s addressing me—Alice is studying fashion merchandising and design.

“Y-yeah,” I stammer. Alice’s older sister is just so intimidating. Well-spoken, obviously intelligent, tall, prettier than anyone I’ve ever met, and top of her law class. She’s not exactly warm either, like her mother or sister—even now, there’s a cold bite to her tone. But the edges of her lips quirk up, and I can tell she’s being nice.

“Don’t let the guys push you around. What you’re doing is important, and you’re probably smarter than them. What do you want to do with your degree?”

The answer, always on my heart and mind, is automatic. “I want to be a doctor. So, med school is next.”

She nods once. “Good.”

And apparently that’s the end of our conversation.

I try to hide my smile by rummaging around in my backpack for my water bottle. It’s nice to feel supported.

Bella comes gliding down the stairs and twists into the living room, folding herself easily onto the love seat. She greets me, and then tosses me the throw over the back of her couch. Alice nods as if forgetting something, then reaches into a basket hidden between our couch and Rosalie’s chair and produces three more blankets, throwing two to her sisters and keeping one for herself. She shoots me a grin as each of us, even the serious Rosalie, snuggles up.

Alice stands, turning off the lights and then wraps back in her blanket and scoots near me on the couch. “I hope this is good!” With a grin, she opens Netflix and plays the first episode.

{***}

Broadchurch does not disappoint. Before I know it, we’re halfway through the second episode, eyes glued to the screen. Bella, who was definitely reading a book under her blanket at the start, has put it to the side, leaning forward and watching the show intently.

The front door creaks, then clicks closed, and Alice smiles, pressing pause on the remote. “Dad’s home.”

Before long, the famed local doctor comes in to say hi to the girls and to greet me. He’s just as welcoming as his wife!

“Alice told me you are having trouble with some organic chemistry homework?”

I nod, hoping it’s not too much to ask for his help. “I got a good start on some of the problems last night, but I keep messing up. I’m not really sure where I’m going wrong—there’s no answer key so I can’t work backwards through the problems.”

He nods, casually resting his hands in the pocket of his slacks. “I remember o-chem homework quite well.” He grins conspiratorially. “It is the bane of many a med student’s existence. Why don’t you girls finish up your episode and then join Esme and me in the kitchen for lunch? I can take a look at your homework if you like.”

Relief washes over me. “That would be great, thank you so much.”

He smiles warmly. “Of course. Now, if you all will excuse me….” With a twinkle in his eye, he leaves us to rejoin his wife.

This family is so nice! I wonder why they get so much flack at school?

Alice resumes the episode, and soon my musings are washed away as I try to piece together the mystery of the murder before the detectives can.

{***}

Esme is a wonderful cook. Carlisle sings her praises but doesn’t fix a plate for himself, saying he ate plenty as she was cooking. We all sit down at the table, though I’m the only one who eats in earnest — Bella claims to be filled up on snacks, Rose says she’s on a diet, and Alice takes a small helping for herself, every now and then poking the chicken in mild disgust. I don’t see what the problem is, the food is fantastic!

Carlisle sits down next to me, and I slide my textbook and notebook in his direction. He smiles, looking almost nostalgic. “I remember these. The good news is, as a doctor, you won’t be doing much of this in day-to-day life, if at all. But it is important for some courses you will take in medical school, so it’s best to master the concepts now. See, on number nineteen, you start the problem correctly, but get lost once you have to balance the equation to continue. Instead of waiting until the middle to balance, I would do that first, that way, you have a solid base before moving on to solve the rest of the problem.”

I nod, peering over at the paper intently. I hadn’t tried that strategy before.

Carlisle takes out a pen, and begins scratching out an equation. Then, he grins, shaking his head, and crosses it out, starting again in much neater handwriting. “Forgive my penmanship. Though, if you decide to continue and become a practicing doctor, your handwriting will soon be indecipherable, too.”

From across the table, Rosalie snorts, and I can’t help but laugh along. It seems almost a rite of passage for a doctor to have horrendous handwriting.

In clearer script, Carlisle continues working out the problem, then slides the paper over for me to see. He explains what he did at each step, and I nod along, trying to commit as much of it to memory as possible. He works out another problem in the same way, then asks me to try on my own. I smile tentatively as I go, hesitant to accept that I actually know how to do the problem now.

But I do.

It takes concentration to work through the steps, but I can, which is a far cry from where I was last night. Carlisle waves off my thanks, saying I just needed to try a different approach, but I had it within me all along. I bring up another section I had issues with—structures of the elements—and Carlisle teaches me a better strategy for memorizing a few and then figuring out the rest. By the time Esme and Bella have put the food away, my homework is done—in a fourth of the time it would have taken me struggling through it on my own.

“Seriously, Dr. Cullen, thank you so much.”

He smiles pleasantly, handing me back my textbook. “Of course. If you need help again, just come on over. I know the girls love having the company, and my wife and I enjoyed the opportunity to meet you as well.”

Esme appears behind her husband, laying her hands affectionately on his shoulders. “Absolutely, Y/n. Please come over any time.”

I pack up my homework and thank them once again for lunch and for the help. Alice darts to my side, grinning. “Ready to finish the episode?”

I feel so much lighter now that my homework is done, and I don’t feel guilty at all for spending time with my new friends. In fact, I may even indulge in that ice cream when I get home.

“Absolutely.”

A/n Thanks for reading! If you have a moment, here’s the link to my masterlist :)

#twilight #twilight renaissance #platonic twilight #carlisle cullen #alice cullen #jasper cullen #emmett cullen #rosalie cullen #esme cullen #bella cullen #twilight imagine #carlisle imagine #alice imagine

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psych2go · 4 years

Text

8 Habits That Destroy Your Emotional Well-being

Our emotional well-being is more important now than ever it seems. With the majority of people quarantined up in their homes, things can get a little… depressing. I mean there’s only so much Netflix and Zoom calls you can take before you feel like screaming out your window.

The worst part is, your favorite TV show only has so many seasons streaming. And eventually, (gulp), there will be no, more, episodes, left.

Noooooooo!

Yes, I know. Pretty dramatic. But what else is there to do all cooped up inside?

The answer may be different for everyone. Take up a hobby, learn a new instrument, color book your way to sanity again. Whatever it is that keeps you going physically, you need to take care of your emotional health as well. So, it’s best not to pick up any bad habits that affect you emotionally during quarantine.

Here are eight habits that destroy your emotional well-being. (Good for both pandemic and pre-pandemic uses.)

1. Suppressing Your Emotions, Especially Anger

While it may seem convenient at the time to go ahead and ignore that sadness or anger inside you, – I mean according to you, you have work to do! – But suppressing your emotions can actually do more harm than good in the long run.

Just because you consciously suppress your emotions, does not mean they go away. Instead, they build up. You should instead express emotions such as sadness, anger, or anxiety to someone you trust. Just imagine what could happen if you don’t allow yourself to release an emotion like anger, and instead let it build up?

“[Anger has] been linked to obesity, low self-esteem, migraines, drug and alcohol addiction, depression, sexual performance problems, increased heart attack risk, lower-quality relationships, higher probability of abusing others emotionally or physically or both … higher blood pressure and stroke,” says Dr. Schinnerer, an anger management coach who was a consultant on the Pixar movie “Inside Out”, an animated film about emotions.

Anger can also lead to insomnia, anxiety, self-esteem issues, and mental or brain fog to name a few.

This is just anger. There are physical and mental problems that can arise from any suppression of emotion it seems. Because if these emotions build up, they will eventually rise to the surface, and likely explode out of you like a volcano!

Just, uh… givin’ you a visual image.

So, what are we supposed to do about all these feelings?

Well, Schinnerer suggests one way to break this cycle, and that begins with mindfulness: “One way to do this, he says, is by becoming more aware of when you’re angry in the present moment, then looking at the emotion in a nonjudgmental and curious way. So instead of beating yourself up, acknowledge how you’re feeling and think about ways to cope.”

So, take a break if you’re feeling anger in a toxic situation, and leave the room. Pretend your favorite pizza dish has just arrived, and you need to ‘pause’ your game. That is, the treacherous game of anger. Level 5: Volcano Eruptions of Fury

Hey, I’m givin’ ya visuals here.

Remove yourself from the situation that’s making you angry, find a place or person you’re comfortable with, and feel the emotions, express them. Do this in a way that doesn’t let you overthink the situation to the point of exhaustion. You’re expressing and letting go.

Let go of any anger, grudges, or anxiety after expressing them. With sadness, express them as well, and try to focus on the things that you value in your life. It can be a good idea to talk with a counselor or therapist if you feel these unwanted emotions persist and are piling up.

Remember, this is just anger. But you can do this with all your emotions. Feel them in the moment, or express them in a calm way. Then let the emotions flow out of you. Like an ocean breeze, in the midsummer air…

Visuals! (I find it helps release them in a… cathartic and healthy way.)

2. Letting the Stress Get to You, and Letting it Pile Up

Similar to suppressing your emotions, stress can find a way to get to you. Now, it is best to express your anxiety instead of suppressing, but what if these stress levels are at an all-time high?

Letting your stress get out of control, by not expressing it or over analyzing situations, can be an unhealthy habit. When stressed, your brain releases a hormone called cortisol. When this hormone is produced in large amounts it can prevent the brain from functioning as it should.

It’s best to take a mental health break when needed if your anxiety becomes overwhelming. With all this time indoors, a few minutes of meditation or doing another activity that calms you when you find yourself overthinking and overwhelmed, may be a good idea. And of course, if you find the stress to be too much, talking with someone and letting these feelings out in a healthy way can help.

3. Not Sleeping Enough

Now, lots of people have poor sleeping habits. Does that make it healthy? No.

Not getting your eight hours of sleep every day has been shown to make things worse for mental health.

What makes things worse is 60 to 90 percent of patients with depression also have insomnia, according to The Sleep Health Foundation. So people whose emotional well-being may already be suffering are possibly causing further health problems by not being able to get their full rest.

Not only do you get grumpy and groggy from not getting enough sleep, but it can also not be good for your emotional well-being in the long run.

4. Bad Posture

According to a study in the Journal of Behavior Therapy and Experimental Psychiatry, upright posture can have a positive affect and reduce fatigue.

Everyone who doesn’t sleep eight hours a night? Stand up straight!

The preliminary study’s conclusions suggested that: “adopting an upright posture may increase positive affect, reduce fatigue, and decrease self-focus in people with mild-to-moderate depression.”

The study is pretty fascinating. You can read directly from the journal here.

5. Not Exercising

Exercise is not only important for our physical health, but for our emotional well-being as well. During quarantine, you may find yourself not exercising as much as before. This can become a habit.

Regular exercise releases endorphins which make us happy naturally. According to an article from MayoClinic, exercise can release “feel-good endorphins, natural cannabis-like brain chemicals (endogenous cannabinoids) and other natural brain chemicals that can enhance your sense of well-being.”

So get out of the house and out to the gym- oh. …never mind.

Get out of your bed! And onto your treadmill! …That is, if you own a treadmill.

Ya know what? A walk should suffice.

6. Negative Thoughts, and Feeling You’ve ‘Failed’, Constantly

Now we’ve talked about suppressing emotions, but what if the negative ones plague your mind, constantly. If you find yourself thinking you’re are a failure, or that you don’t measure up to something, or that you won’t achieve your dreams, or you weren’t who you thought you’d be- Stop it! That’s unhealthy and you know it!

Now, better said than done, right? If these thoughts become habit, you may find yourself not setting any goals at all, as in fear of not achieving them when you do try. Or you won’t even be measured up to something at all because you never left the house to buy measuring tape.

… Anyone?

It’s time to reel yourself out from your own negative thoughts and take a look at the positive ones you are neglecting. You aren’t a failure.

At least… not constantly? Seriously! Nobody can be a failure constantly. So stop thinking about it all the time!

7. Being on Social Media. All. The Time.

As much as you like mindlessly scrolling and pressing the heart button on your friends’ social media posts, posting selfies and photos of your food (Stop it! You’re making me hungry), and posting relatable memes all day- Well… that one is pretty fun.

But! As much as you like spending your undue time on social media, it isn’t always great for your mental health.

I mean, think about it. You’re often hunched over and cramped, staring at a little screen.

Straight posture everyone! Straight posture!

Not only that, but people often find themselves comparing themselves to photo shopped influencers with unrealistic lives. Plus, too much of one thing can tend to be bad, and unproductive in this case.

8. Not Being True to Yourself

Have you ever said ‘yes’ to something, simply because you were peer pressured? Or perhaps you felt that’s what others wanted from you?

Stop it! You are wonderful. So, stop doing things that aren’t true to who you are.

Phew. Gotta take it easy, I know. It’s just, you’re so god dang wonderful.

Everyone is unique. Everyone is different. So why do you tend to compare yourself to others? Or try to please them so much if it’s not pleasing you.

It’s best to ask yourself if you are living your life for yourself, or for others. Following simply what others tell you to do, in a way that is an attempt to change who you are, is likely to leave you suppressing the real you deep inside. And we all know what suppression can do for our mental health.

Taking care of your emotional well-being means taking care of yourself. And if you hide who you are to please others, who are you instead? Why not please yourself in a balanced way? If not, you may be trying to be someone else for the sake of others. And consequentially, suppressing your true values and self in the process.

Who are you? Where are you hiding?

It’s time to create some good habits and say yes to getting your emotional well-being on track.

#psych2go community #psych2go #psychology #emotional health #habits #bad habits #mental health

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allyreactions · 4 years

Text

Dating NCT | Mark

- masterlist requests : OPEN

__________________________

║ pairings ; mark lee x fem! reader

║ genre ; fluffy fluff, smut, angst

║ word count ; 2.4k

__________________________

~ A/N : I’ve been so soft for Mark, I just had to let it out. also I think I went a little bit overboard ... I wrote so much. so please pretty please send me your feedback on it because I literally poured my heart into this post. thanks 🥺

~ Admin Ally

* gif credits to the owner *

♡ how you meet :

you first met Mark at the local bookstore

you were browsing through the fiction section, searching for your next read

as you pursued the shelves, you slid your finger across the spine of the books

until landing on the mystery novel you had been searching for

you removed the book from the shelf and added it to the stack of books you were carrying in your other arm

feeling satisfied with your collection, you proceeded to walk over to the lounge area to review the books

you sat down in a large, green armchair and placed the stack of books next to you on the side table

you picked up the first book, the mystery novel you had been dying to get your hands on, and started reading through the authors note on the inside cover

as you were flipping through the pages, glancing at the chapters, someone tripped over your foot

“oh, my bad”

the boy shyly bowed and apologized

“it’s okay,” you replied nodding back

the boy continued on his way and walked over to the magazine section

there he joined two other boys, you assumed they were friends

you shrugged off the interaction and diverted your attention back to your book

about 10 minutes pass by and you’ve glanced over each book you’ve found

you decided to buy the mystery novel and a YA romance novel

you gathered your things before putting the other books back on the shelf

you were back in the fiction section, your eyes scanning the shelves to find the correct place to put away a sci-fi novel when you heard some muffled giggling behind you

you decided not to turn around and focused on finding the section of books that matched the one you were trying to put away

“Johnny, I’m not gonna talk to her” a boy said in a whispered tone

“you’ve been staring at her this whole time, go talk to her!” encouraged another boy, you assumed it was the boy names Johnny

you tried again to ignore the whispers behind you

that is until you felt a tap on your shoulder

you turned around and were faced with a black-haired blushing boy

you glanced at the two boys behind him who were pretending to be inconspicuous, but failing at it

one boy was tall with auburn hair and held a starbucks cup in his hand

the other was slightly shorter with long blonde hair, is that a mullet?

“I um, ..” the boy in front of you spoke

you returned your gaze back to the shy boy

“I uh, my name’s Mark”

you were still very much confused as to what was going on

you didn’t mean to, but the puzzled look on your face must have given the boy a bad feeling because he said

“I don’t mean to bother you, but I um .. I think you’re really cute”

his ears were bright red and he had trouble looking you in the eye

he was so nervous

it’s charming

“I promise I’m not a bad guy, but um, would you lie to go on um ... a date with me?”

♡ first date :

you guys had been talking for a few days leading up to your date

Mark wanted to make sure you didn’t think he was some sort of weirdo for asking you out in Barnes and Noble

and he wanted you to at least get to know him before going out

and the two of you discussed your schedules and were able to set up a date and time for the two of you to go out

and Mark, being the gentleman that he is, decided to take you to a restaurant for your first date

he wanted to keep things sort of traditional and classy and make you feel special

he’s a softie like that

he really wanted to impress you by dressing nice in a blazer and dress shoes

he wanted to prove that he’s more than just the nervous, giggly guy you found in a bookstore

ugh im so soft

anyway, Mark picks you up and you two head to the restaurant together

once you’re seated at your table, the waiter takes your orders for drinks and appetizers

once she leaves, there’s nothing but silent tension

Mark’s hand flies to the back of his neck, nervously fildeling with the hair behind his head.

“you look really nice” he said, his voice was low

you could sense the anxiousness by his tone

“thanks, you look really nice too” you said, returning the compliment

there was another long pause

“how are your books? I.. I mean the ones you bought last week” Mark asked, he was making an effort to start a conversation

the two of you had no problem talking over text, but the both of you are clearly nervous around each other

was it because both nervous and socially awkward? or was it the sexual tension?

who knows

eventually the awkwardness subsided sort of

Mark was still visibly nervous

he kept rubbing the back of his neck and would stutter every so often

it was cute that he was nervous

but it’s all part of his charm

I mean, that’s the reason you agreed to go out with him in the first place

alright, back to your dinner

you were able to have a decent conversation with him

the two of you discussed your family and friends, your hobbies and interests

nothing too wild

but the whole time, Mark listened to you intently

he would ask questions, furthering your conversation

he seemed genuinely interested in getting to know you and learning about your interests

it was refreshing and sweet

every so often, he would crack a joke

and they were always so cheesy and dorky

but it was cute, so you laughed along

after your meal, Mark had offered to walk you home before it got too late

he wanted to make sure you got home safely

when you arrived at your doorstep, the two of you exchanged goodbye’s

“I had a good time tonight” you said

“I’m glad, so did I” Mark smiled back shyly

you placed a soft peck on his cheek

his cheeks flushed pink and the tip of his ears turned bright red

“Good night beautiful” Mark said, taking ahold of your hand

he leaned in and gently kissed your forehead

♡ living together / couple stuff :

everyday with Mark is an adventure

and I mean that in the best way

Mark is always full of surprises

sometimes he’ll be sitting in the living room and just start strumming his guitar and sing soft ballads and his voice would echo through the house

or you’ll be fixing dinner for the two of you in the kitchen and you’ll hear his infectious laughter from the living room

you and Mark have tons of inside jokes

he’s always making cheesy jokes

like even if his jokes aren’t funny

you’ll still laugh along because he’s just that cute and clueless

sometimes he’ll come home and share stories about his day

like he’ll talk about the producers he met with and the songs he’s been working on with them

and he’ll get super excited too

“babe, I can’t wait for you to hear the finished product”

not that that he wants validation from you, but hearing you praise him for his work and his music really gives him an ego boost

who doesn’t want to hear the love of their life compliment them on their passions?

also, you’re a huge inspiration and muse to him

now not every song he write its written about you, but when it comes to love songs on nct albums or a superm album, you’re always at the forefront of his mind when contributing to love lyrics

he loves adding little nods to your relationship in his music

it’s his way of showing his love for you

but it’s not always in just lyrics, he can also be romantic in his actions

although he can be a little awkward sometimes

he’s just a sweet puppy okay? be gentle with him

Mark is a big cuddle bug

he’s kind of clingy when he returns home from tour and promotions

and he wants to spend as much time with you as possible when his schedule is clear

mornings with Mark are an experience

he absolutely loves to treat you to breakfast in bed

but Mark isn’t the best chef

so he’ll either try his best at making you eggs and toast

or he’ll stop by your favorite cafe and purchase a to-go order

Mark loves making you feel special in any little way he can

but let’s talk about the night time

after dinner, the two of you like to cuddle up and watch the newest kdrama episode on tvN or just watch a random bad movie on Netflix to make fun of

you’ll of course have a big bowl of popcorn and finish it within the first 10 minutes of the movie

and when the movie is over, you’ll walk to your shared bedroom

and cuddle up under the blankets and snuggle into Marks chest

because of course he’s the big spoon

and you’ll interlock fingers

sometimes when neither of you can sleep, Mark encourages you to talk about whatever is on your mind

because sometimes you have too much going on and you mind is just so full that you can’t sleep

Mark is super understanding and just offers his ear to you

he’ll comfort you if there’s anything serious going on

Mark is just super supportive and loves having deep conversations with you

he loves how these deep conversations bring the two of you closer together because it strengthens your trust in one another

♡ arguments :

Mark doesn’t seem like the confrontational type

and the two of you don’t fight often

like I had mentioned before up above, you and Mark tend to tell each other everything

there’s not much that you hide from each other

and you guys have such a strong bond that jealousy doesn’t really affect you both

but that doesn’t mean that life stresses can’t affect you

now we all know that we tend to take out our frustrations on the people we love

so I feel like most of the bumps in your relationship could be related to the stresses from work and everyday life

like sometimes you just have a bad day at work

you boss is in a mood and takes it out on you, so you bring home that frustration and eventually take it out on Mark

even though you don’t mean to

another example may be the stress about your public relationship with him as an idol

obviously if you received hate, it might have an effect on your actions towards your boyfriend

you become distant and closed off a bit

the comments say that you don’t deserve someone like Mark, and even though you know they’re wrong that doesn’t mean their words don’t hurt

and when Mark realizes how closed off you’ve been, he’ll try to talk with you about it

of course he won’t force you to talk about things until you’re ready

but Mark can be a little fragile, and the fact that you’ve been distant would hurt him

and when he hears that you’ve been doubting that you’re worthy of his love really hurts him

he’ll comfort you and rub the tears from your face

seeing you cry just breaks his heart

♡ sexy time :

okay, now I’ve said this before, but Mark is a soft dom, possibly a switch

listen, don’t cancel me

I feel like Mark puts on a show that he’s super kinky

and his lyrics from ‘whiplash” and ‘drippin’ are proof of that

but when it comes down to the wire, I think he’s actually kind of nervous at first

sex with Mark for the first time is a sweet experience

of course, y’all aren’t going to jump straight into choking on the first night

Mark is a gentleman

a good christian boy

Mark is a soft dom for your first time

he’s very gentle and he takes his time, making sure that you’re comfortable and satisfied every step of the way

he places kisses all over your body, making sure he pays attention to every inch of your body

Mark pays attention to every moan and whimper that falls from your precious lips

he’ll leave love bites and markings in all your sensitive spots

his thrusts are slow and deep, making it easier for you to feel every inch of him completely fill you

I can’t see Mark finishing inside you for the first time, but creampies are definitely something he’s into

*cough* drippin by nct dream and drop by superm *cough*

he really likes creampies

but once the two of you get comfortable with each other and settle into your relationship, that’s when the kinks come out

I would say that Mark is open to experimenting in bed

and even though the both of you are comfortable with each other, Mark is still slightly awkward when talking about sex with you

it’s just who he is

when it comes to trying out things that you’re interested in, that’s when I feel like Mark would take the backseat

he’d sub on those nights

it’s just easier for you to take control when doing things that you’re interested in

but when it comes to you wanting Mark to choke you or spank you, I feel like he would be a little hesitant at first

he just doesn’t want to hurt you

he’s not sure how strong his grip should be around your throat

he’s not sure how hard he should spank you

what level of pain did you want to receive?

but once he saw your response and heard your begging, he’ll start to get into it

he’ll thrust into you hard and fast, his grip around your throat will tighten

he watches as your eyes roll back in pure pleasure, until you finally climax and cry out his name in ecstasy

he loves watching you cum all over him

I can see him wanting to try out cockwarming, but he’s somewhat nervous when brining it up to you

cockwarming is something the two of you do when you’re cuddling after sex

of something that you do in the morning when it’s cold outside and you just want to cozy up and share each other’s warmth

it’s an intimate thing that Mark’s been interested in trying out, and sharing moments like that with you would be pretty meaningful for him

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strangerobin · 3 years

Text

Rue: Chapter 6 (Jasper Hale x OC)

Just know that, in another life where I was free of lies and deceit, I would move heaven and earth just to stay alongside you. To spend a lifetime with you. Body and soul.

Stolen away just nights before their wedding, Jasper had mourned the loss of his lover, Adeline, for centuries. Until a similar face showed up one day out of the blue, just as beautiful and just as youthful.

Part 6

A plan of sorts that leaves neither parties thrilled.

She was still waiting for a sign.

On occasions, Adeline felt watched and the unease in her heart refused to subside. Something was about to happen to break this faux peace, she was sure; but just what it was she had no clue. And the more time had passed, the more on edge and paranoid she got, going so far as to snapping at poor Loreen for the smallest of things. She hated herself more than ever.

In the end, the sign she had been waiting for came in the form of flowers.

Cornflowers to be exact.

A bouquet was left in the early morning on the doorsteps of their little shared house. No one had heard the deliverer. Anakin and Teddy were away, engaging in their own businesses. Loreen was still tucked safely in her little fort of plushies and rag dolls. Adeline had merely opened the door to enjoy some fresh air and was instead met with a bouquet of cornflowers arranged with utmost care.

Your eyes are the colour of cornflowers.

A man she loved once told her. So she was reminded of.

Holding the bouquet as far away from herself as possible, she chucked the bouquet straight into the trash and went about her day as if nothing happened. As if she wasn’t bouncing her leg non-stop while watching reruns on TV, or how distracted she was, or how Loreen kept shooting worried glances at her. As if she wasn’t practically vibrating anxiety off her being.

The flowers never stopped. Every morning a fresh batch was laid on the doorsteps, Loreen even managed to steal some and displayed them in a pretty little vase in her room. Out of spite, Adeline thought. She tried to stay vigilant and stand guard at the door, but then they would only appear elsewhere around the house. She knew then that there was no running from this.

Adeline would bet good money on who her secret admirer (stalker) was. She did not remember him as a stubborn man; but from the persistence of his action she had gathered what game he was playing at. This was an open challenge issued to her, a taunt, he wouldn’t confront her upfront. No, he was patient with his schemes and would strike only when the hour was ripe; he was the predator and her the prey now. And she was so so tempted to rise to the bait. But she must keep her cool, and not loose her mind. He might loose his interest in her yet.

In a century or two. Her treacherous mind taunted mercilessly.

Oh but how wrong was she.

The next taunt came the next day in the form of a book, Frankenstein.

Specifically, the exact copy of the cheap paperback edition she had left behind in Whitehorse months ago.

In a fit of hysterics, she threw open the front door and went all the way up to the front yard and bellowed into the empty countryside. “Leave me the fuck alone you sick bastard!”

Only later did she start to question.

How did he find her? How did he manage to track her down from Whitehorse to Minnesota and now Colorado? She was confident of her concealment ability.

So then, how?

From a distance, Jasper watched the girl sitting at the front porch, lacing up her roller skates. The child turned her heard, seemingly to answer someone inside the house before finishing up the rest of her laces. Then in trepidation she tested water with the first few step, before gaining confidence and propelling herself forward into the open road.

In her flowy sundress and a light cardigan, seemingly not minding the alpine chill, the child spread out her arms and laughed with her head thrown back, as if she were soaring amongst the wind instead. She seemed like any other child, if it weren’t for her scent, and that luminous skin in the morning light.

Jasper casually got out of his car and leaned against it, unsubtly observing the girl. That seemed to catch the child’s attention as she eyed him suspiciously while zipping past the first time; before turning round at the end of the drive and passing by again. If she was scared then she hardly showed it. After a few back and forth, she finally slowed a few meters from Jasper and regarded him cooly.

“Who are you?” Her asked in a sing-song voice. “If you’re here to sell cable or insurance or fire resistant something, we’re not interested.”

“Ah I see so you are the Madame of the house then, little lady.” Jasper chuckled and watched as the child pouted and crossed her arms, petulant at the name. Yes, she was like one of those children too smart for their own good, sharp witted but quick to anger. And much too trusting. “Fear not, I am only a friend. Tell me, do you live here with family?”

“Half siblings.” The child corrected.

“And is not your half-sister called Adeline?”

“And you are?”

“A long time... friend.” He hesitated after a second.

“Oh?” Now her voice was laced with suspicion.

Jasper smiled charismatically and exerted an air of reassurance over the child. “Do you think you can send a message from me to her?”

The child frowned, clearly reluctant. “Couldn’t you do it yourself? If you really are her friend. She’s in a mood these days and I don't want to cross anymore than I need to.”

“I don’t think she’d like to see me for now.” Jasper shrugged nonchalantly, as if he was not in fact stalking the said person, but simply had a disagreement with her over a conversation during bar night.

She narrowed her eyes at him again.

“What’s in this for me?”

Jasper bowed his head respectfully. “Of course there will be payment on my part. I shall be forever in your debt.”

She pursed her lips and pondered on the request thoughtfully. “If I am to be messenger,” She began slowly. “I’d like a year’s worth of Ben and Jerry’s. And a year’s subscription of Netflix!” She looked so haughty then, so proud of herself for striking a deal that he had to chuckle.

“Oh little lady.” He said in between laughs, somehow adoring the sweet innocence of the child. “You drive a hard bargain don’t you? Yes of course I promise.” He put a hand over his heart and bowed. “Cross may heart and hope to die.”

That seemed to satisfy the child and she grinned cheekily at him, no doubt pleased with her little bargain of free ice cream and Netflix films.

“Here.” He produced from his pocket a single map. And handed it to the girl. She eyed it suspiciously before taking in gingerly, their hands briefly touching. If she noticed his ice cold skin then she did not make a remark.

Instead her eyes flickered back to him and she chewed on her lips thoughtfully before finally opening her mouth. “I hope... I hope whatever it is between the two of you, all will be well soon.”

Momentarily caught surprised, Jasper straightened his stance and looked to the house in the distance with longing and tenderness.

“Yes I hope so too.”

“Oh Lorie you’re finally back. Fun time roller skating?”

Adeline was sitting on the sofa, in a bathrobe with blankets wrapped all around herself up to her head flipping through the channels at top speed.

“I met a friend of yours down the street.” Loreen announced.

“Friend? What friend-”

“Jasper.”

She froze at the name.

“Come again?”

“Jasper was here and he wanted me to pass on a message to you.” Loreen stated as-a-matter-of-factly and handed over the old map. She scrutinised her sister; watched as her face blanched before being replaced by red hot fury.

“What is the meaning of this?!” Adeline bellowed, crumpling the map into a tight little wall. “Where is he? Is he still out there now?!”

Loreen shrugged, trying to convey the message that she was just as clueless as the other was. “I’m sure he’s only just left.”

Adeline bolted out of the doors at once.

“Jasper!” She yelled like a lunatic, and searched frantically, not giving a fig what the neighbours would think. She had other pressing matters to be concerned of.

How dare he! How dare he approached her family, especially her innocent sister! He had already shattered her little peaceful life! That she could tolerate, and she supposed to some extent, she was reaping what she had sowed years ago. But preying on her young sister like that! He had no right! Absolutely no right! How dare he!

Hidden under the shades of the woods she took off in a blur, trying to locate the man. But the faint smell she caught whiff of indicated that he had long since been gone.

Still livid, she stomped her way back to the house.

First the flowers, then the book and now this map. Jasper; yes she was finally going to acknowledge this, that he was the same man she had met all those years ago, and that yes he was a fucking vampire now! And one with no fucking sense of boundaries! His message was clear and simple.

Don’t think that you’ve been forgotten. I know where you are and I will find you, whatever it takes. Or you can come to me, on your terms. You know where to find me.

She spread the crumpled map out.

Washington.

It was a state map of fucking Washington!

Like a flame being doused with ice cold water, she finally realised her mistake all those months ago. The hybrid child she had met in the clearing… That was how he had come to know of her. There was no doubt of it now. The child must have told her coven of their meeting, and either he was part of the coven, or he was on intimate terms with them. Either way, she had damned herself that day when she had decided not to trust her instincts to stay inland. And like dominoes, a little push had unknowingly caused the whole system to collapse on its own, the shockwaves continuing to reverberate in the aftermath of the disastrous meeting.

Adeline cursed and screamed in frustration.

Stupid! Stupid! She was so stupid! What was she to do now?! Engage? And she would be falling right into his laps without a fight. Run? But for how long? He had proven himself more than capable of tracking her somehow, it would be all for naught. He had a coven; and she had only her siblings. Siblings whom never got involved with her affairs, nor did she wish to involve into the mess. And especially not her youngest.

Frustrated, she flipped the map to find an actual written message penned in impeccable cursive handwriting. Which got her blood boiling immediately.

Do you have what it takes?

Self-righteous bastard! Well she’ll show him!

Adeline was in and out of the house in a flash, clothes changed. “Addie where are you going?” Loreen was by the door, obviously concerned.

“I’m going.” Her reply was short, clipped.

“At least wait for Anakin or Teddy.”

“No Loreen. I have to go. You’ll be fine on your own right?” Adeline tried to smile to relieve the tension, but evidently the tight-lipped smile only succeeded in agitating her sister more.

“I suppose yes. But-"

“Stay safe dear. I’ll see you in a bit.”

And she was out.

She refused to address her other concerns; like what did he want by actively seeking her out, or how did he even find her when she had made sure all her tracks were concealed? What did it mean for the two of them now that the other was all along alive and well? What would it entail for either parties from here on? What would father even do should he learn of this?

All of the what ifs and hows and whys were all overshadowed by her high-strung emotions. Her action was spurred into motion and further fulled by her fury at her former lover. Really, she lacked even a concrete plan of engagement which she seemed to be forgetting repeatedly in favour of the raging anger within her.

One she had not felt in years now.

“Are you sure she’ll come?” Edward asked.

“I’m sure.” Was Jasper’s curt reply, even if the doubt was weighing heavily down on his heart. He was back in Forks, back with his family where there was still some semblance of safety and control.

For nights, he had sat outside of Adeline’s little house in his car, just thinking and formulating, the best ways to engage her. He could knock on her door right then and there, and no doubt she would lose her shit, and everything would be fucked. Or he could catch her attention and lure her out back to where he felt safest, and should she decide to come along with then he would engage accordingly. At that time it felt like a decent plan, but now that he was home, the plan seemed stupid. Either way seemed like it would end pretty badly. In the end, he had made his escape early, had not stayed to see Adeline’s reaction at his subtle message. For fear of rejection, for fear of being unable to bear the disappointment.

He was such a coward.

And now he watched as his brother grimaced and frowned, clearly hesitating whether to speak his mind out or not, before finally making his mind up. “It’s just… are you sure about this?”

“About what?” Jasper said feigning ignorance.

“You’re taunting her.” Edward stared him straight in the eye, somewhat sternly. “Is this any way to court the girl you like?”

“Well, says the man who stalked his then classmate in her bedroom every night.” He shot back with barb, clearly annoyed.

Edward’s face soured and immediately stalked off the other way.

Offended.

Jasper sighed and ran a hand absentmindedly through his tangled hair, emotions all over the place. He knew he was an unwelcome presence in the house lately, practically vibrating off anxiety within a mile radius and affecting anyone within. It made the others nervous, stressed even. And everyone avoided him like the plague.

Bella and Edward had taken Renesmee to their little cottage so that the little one would not be affected. Carlisle had taken to working long hour shifts at the hospital and God knows where Rose and Emmett were.

And Alice... Alice was distancing herself from him.

She had taken to avoiding him, bluntly. She was never in the same room as he was. Had stopped being affectionate like she used to. Their interactions were reduced to light pats on his shoulder, fleeting hand touches, tight-lipped smiles that never quite reached her eyes. She was clearly hurting regardless of what she proclaimed. And to make matters worse, it was fracturing the family.

Emmett’s the-devil-may-care attitude can be reassuring, but Rosalie’s disdain at him was dully noted. Bella was torn and Edward was still suspicious of Adeline but somewhat more understanding of his predicament, although apparently he had just pissed off his last comrade. Carlisle and Esme were only concerned for the two of them, no doubt wanting the best for the pair of them.

And there was nothing he could do.

Alice had made the decision for the two of them.

But it tortured him as much as it killed her. She was the light in his pitiful life for years, his beacon in the dark night. She would never forgive him for all his betrayals just as he could never forgive himself for being the one to hurt her,

And now it pained him just as much to think of Adeline, of his plan to lure her out. He had known her like the back of his own hand then. Though what an irony that felt now. The one he had meant to share his life with, ended up being the one he had known the least.

While she can be sweet and lively, her temper seemed to have a mind of its own. And her heart always dominated in any decisions she made. She was open to persuasion, but would never bend to anyone’s will by force. Would react badly and lash out if forced.

And he had forced her hand.

Adeline would come, she must. Because if she did not, what then? He could go back to Alice and begged for her to take him back or he could continue hunting Adeline down, but then what? He could not force her into anything against her will, he would not. While he was no saint, he certainly was no monster to force himself onto her. She had only need to say the words, with steel in her resolve and he would begone as she requested, forever.

And should she have changed?

It had been more one and a half century since their parting, he had changed much. How did he expect her to remain the same? How did he expect her to remain steadfast in their love? Or its lack thereof?

He was torn between being content with simple ordinariness, or pursuing something more, something all encompassing and consuming, but also elusive which might end up being a gamble for nothing.

Either required him to make a blind leap of faith, though one was certainly more perilous than the other.

"I don't... I don't know what to do." He finally admitted aloud to Edward's retreating form, watched as the man turned to look back at him with narrowed eyes. "I have the choice... I have the choice to move on like she did, or I can continue to pursue her to the ends of the world, like some psychopathic stalker vampire..."

"But you don't want to be neither." Edward sighed sympathetically.

"No."

"And yet you don't want to let her go either."

"No, I don't either."

Jasper shot his brother a bittersweet smile before lapsing into silence. It felt embarrassing to tell Edward of his inner most thoughts, but at the same time there was something cathartic in finally sharing with someone what he thought.

"If there's anything I learnt from being with Bella," Edward said after a moment of thought. "It's that every relationship requires the investment of both parties. It's useless if she doesn't reciprocate your feeling."

Jasper quirked his lips ruefully. "Alice seems to think otherwise."

"Alice can't see the hybrid's future."

"No but I told her we might be soulmates."

"Well are you?"

"I don't know... I think so."

Jasper looked up to see Edward with a smug smirk aimed at him. "Well what do we have here? The cold and calculating Major Whitlock stumped for once because he's confused what to do with his lover-"

"Edward!" He protested loudly.

Ed laughed with mirth before holding up his hands in surrender. "I digress." Then his demeanor turned serious again. "Like I said, it requires two people to be in love. A soulmate bond doesn't automatically make her fall in love with you and vice versa. At the end of the day, it's just a bond. It ties the two of you together in this life, you can feel her, might even need her. But at the end of the day, it's for the both of you to decide if the both of you want to purse a more serious relationship, no?"

Jasper looked away, not wanting to meet his brother's intense gaze.

Had he considered what she wanted?

He loved her, still. But did she want him in the same way?

"I... tell me what I should do then?"

The proposition pained him physically and mentally and Jasper closed his eyes and swallowed harshly.

But Edward only looked at him with a tenderness and pity in his eyes.

"Do what's right, brother. Don't make it a regret of yours for eternity."

#jasper hale #jasper hale x reader #jasper hale x oc #jasper hale imagine #twilight #twilight imagine

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nyotamalfoy · 4 years

Text

“Unexpected.” - Part 1 Cillian Murphy x fem!Reader

Requested by @fifty-shadesof-tommyshelby

Summary: (Y/N) gets a chance to go to the sets of her favourite series, Peaky Blinders, but the day doesn’t go as planned.

Warning: mention of death

Part 2 can be found here

‘It’s just a birthday, he’s a busy man. He’ll come by later, I guess…’ (Y/N) tried to console herself as her uncle, Neil, hadn’t come to visit her on her birthday like he did every year.

Neil was her closest and only family after her parents died in a plane crash. She could always rely on him and talk to him about anything and everything. He was (Y/N)’s best friend. But, he was a costume designer and therefore, a very busy man. Neil had told her in a recent phone call that he wouldn’t be able to make it for her birthday because of work. Speaking of work, he had been hired as the costume designer for her favourite Netflix series of all times, Peaky Blinders.

(Y/N) had been ecstatic when she found out and almost begged him to let her come to the sets with him. She loved the cast and wanted a chance to meet them. In particular, she wanted to meet Cillian Murphy. She had been his fan since she saw him on Batman Begins. Actually, that would be an understatement, she was basically in love with him and had accepted the fact that it was just a celebrity crush which she could do nothing about.

Coming back to the point, (Y/N) was a bit sad when Neil said he couldn’t make it but was hurt when he didn’t even call. It wasn’t like him to miss her birthday. As she was laying on her bed, tired after a chaotic day of celebrating her turning a year older, she heard a creak from outside her room.

She shot up straight and got out of her bed, walking towards her door, grabbing one of her textbooks from her study table to use as a weapon on the way – great choice, (Y/N). A textbook? Seriously?

Opening her door as quietly as she could, she stepped out into the hallway, trembling, with the textbook held above her shoulder, ready to strike someone.

(Y/N) gasped as she felt someone poke her shoulder from behind and turned around, smashing the bundle of maths problems on the side of their face.

“Ah!” She heard a familiar voice wince as she fumbled around for the switch to turn on the lights.

“Uncle Neil?” (Y/N) called out, looking at him in surprise as the lights came on. “You scared me to death, you prat!” She grinned, walked up to him and slapped his upper arm before hugging him.

“Why a textbook, though?” He said, rubbing the side of his face as they pulled away. “A bloody heavy one too.” She felt a bit guilty, but he was the one that snuck in her house, so she laughed at his expense.

They both laughed and talked for a while, having walked into the kitchen, sitting on the barstools with cups of coffee and biscuits in front of them. He still hadn’t wished her ‘happy birthday’ but she let that slide knowing he was a bit absent minded at times and meant no ill-will. Just as she thought this, he suddenly stopped speaking and his eyes widened as he looked at her. “I almost forgot!” He reached into his backpack and pulled out a lanyard with an ID card attached. “Happy birthday!”

“Finally! I was beginning to think that you actually forgot.” She took the lanyard and hugged him saying a quiet but excited ‘thank you’ before sitting back.

(Y/N) looked at the lanyard confusedly at first but when she turned the ID card, her eyes widened as she read the words written on it, and she froze. She read it, then read it again just to confirm. On it, it said in bold print letters:

VISITOR’S PASS - PEAKY BLINDERS

“AHHHH!” She screamed in excitement and hugged a laughing Neil with such force that he would have definitely fallen if he was still sitting on the bar stool.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Do I look okay?”

“You look gorgeous, (Y/N). Let’s go now, we don’t want to be late now do we.” Neil urged her to get out of the house but couldn’t keep the smile off his face as he saw her skipping down the driveway in excitement.

After three hours of driving and Neil answering (Y/N)’s questions about the set and cast and everything in between, they finally reached.

“Let’s go!” (Y/N) pulled Neil to the entrance as they got out of the car. The guard standing in front of the door checked their identification and smiled when he saw (Y/N) grinning, flashing her visitor pass to him. Neil chuckled as he led her down to the sets.

He dropped off his gear in the room assigned to him and checked the time.

“Okay, they’ll be coming in any minute now,” Neil started and went on to tell her of all the rules and things she needed to take care of. She listened obediently even though she could barely contain her excitement.

Some minutes later, the actors and actresses arrived in short intervals of each other.

“Oh, hello! Who’s this pretty lady, Neil?”

“Helen, meet (Y/N), my niece, and (Y/N), this is-” Neil was cut off by (Y/N).

“Helen McCrory, I know, I’m a big fan, ma’am!” (Y/N) gushed about everything she loved about her acting without sounding too creepy or cringy and Neil was thankful for her staying composed and not jumping on her.

Helen found, for whatever reason, she was enjoying talking to (Y/N). They talked for a while before being interrupted by the Cole brothers. They were slowly joined by almost all the cast members including Paul and Tom but not Cillian, all of whom had taken a liking to (Y/N) immediately due to her friendly and excited demeanour. Neil watched on in amazement at how she managed to win all their hearts in less than 20 minutes and that thought couldn’t keep a smile off his face.

“What’s going on here?” A voice (Y/N) knew all too well made an appearance. She snapped her head to the source of the voice and froze. She was standing in the same vicinity of the man she had the biggest crush on, the one and only Cillian Murphy.

“Neil was just introducing his lovely niece here.” Sophie gestured to (Y/N) and smiled at her.

“We have work to do so can we focus on that, please.” As Cillian said this, he had an annoyed and frustrated expression on his face. “We don’t have time for visitors right now.”

The cast members looked at each other in surprise because Cillian never acted this way; he was always the nicest, most kind person on the set.

After (Y/N)’s initial shock dissipated, she had the biggest of smiles on her faces which was now tinged with hurt, hearing Cillian say that. The cast surrounding her looked at her and gave her sympathetic smiles, some hugs and promises to meet after shoot as they started walking away.

“You should leave before you break something or ruin a scene,” Cillian said before walking ahead of the everyone who had turned to look at them when they saw him approach (Y/N).

Everyone was shocked, to say the least. They could clearly see that something was troubling him but they sure as hell didn’t appreciate the way he was treating their new-found friend. Looking at (Y/N), they could see the hurt in her expression clearly with the way she was looking down, lips trembling.

(Y/N) had never felt such a sharp pain in her heart as she did now. Cillian’s words had cut through her like a hot knife, leaving her with no choice but to go as far away from him as possible.

So, once everyone had left to continue on with their work, with a heavy heart and tears threatening to fill her eyes, she ran. She left the sets and kept running until she felt sudden stabbing pain in her leg.

Great, this day is just going so well. She thought to herself as she sat on a nearby bench and pulled the sharp stone out of her sole which had pierced through her sandals, leaving her foot bloody. Her tears fell then, like white hot metal down her face.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Neil felt like it was all his fault; he was the one that brought her here with the promise of her meeting her crush. He never would have imagined that Cillian would act the way he did. He went to his room on the sets, hoping to find (Y/N) there so he could speak to her.

“Hey, (Y/N)?” Neil knocked on the door before opening it. He looked around for the familiar head of (Y/H/C) hair but dread filled him when he didn’t see anyone. Picking up his mobile phone, he dialled her number and a bit of relief touched him when he heard her familiar ringtone somewhere around the sets.

He walked out to where everyone else had gathered and looked around for (Y/N). His hopes quickly vanished when he saw her bag on the floor near a wall in which her phone was ringing.

“Has anyone seen (Y/N)?” Neil asked the cast members as they all turned to look at him with concerned expressions.

“Wasn’t she with you?” Helen inquired as she too looked around hoping to see a glimpse of her.

“No, she ran off. I thought she’d go to my room but there’s no one there.” Neil ran a hand through his hair, guilt coursing through his veins.

They asked the guard at the gate if he had seen (Y/N) and he told them that she had ran out about 2 hours ago.

As everyone spread out, some by foot, some by cars and bikes, Cillian was left alone with his thoughts.

Earlier that day, he’d gotten into a bad fight with his brother over some family issue. Then, he had to deal with idiots in the traffic while driving to the sets. Lastly, he had spilt his much-needed coffee on himself meaning that he had to go back home, change, buy another coffee and then come onto the set 20 minutes late. He’d had a very testing day but his patience broke when the producer met him at the entrance and told him off for being late to the set.

To add fuel to the fire, no one was even ready to shoot as they were all standing around someone happily chatting away. He snapped then. Telling off an unsuspecting fan, his good friend Neil’s cousin at that.

Cillian was almost 100% sure that he was the one that scared her away with his rude behaviour and that killed him as he realised this. She had looked so happy with that big grin on her face that he had successfully managed to wipe off with a few hurtful words.

He put his face in his hands as he sat on his chair. Cillian only had one string of thoughts going around his mind: This is my fault. I have to find her and apologise. She didn’t deserve this.

#cillian murphy x reader #peaky blinders #peaky blinders cast x reader #cillian murphy #fem!reader #tommy shelby

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shessoparticular · 4 years

Text

Blurred Lines | Part 1 | #ShawnMendesWritingCircle

Thank you @saysweartogod-og for starting this #ShawnMendesWritingCircle challenge!! Hope ya’ll enjoy the first part of my shawn x pa! reader fic!

Being the personal assistant to one of the biggest popstars in the world was a busy job whenever Shawn was doing press or touring but you seemed to just be “one of the boys” whenever Shawn was recording new music. He now owned a small cottage just outside LA that he used exclusively to record all his new stuff, staying away from the now notorious cabin the woods where he recorded a lot of his earlier stuff. It quickly became one of your favorite places to spend time with one of your favorite people in the world.

You had all but moved into Shawn’s recording cottage to be on hand whenever he or his writers or producers needed anything. Shawn had insisted on you taking the guest room, claiming there was absolutely no reason for you to spend money to rent a place when he had the whole place to himself. Part of the deal was that you’d have to be on hand basically 24/7, not just for him, but for the whole team. If they wanted coffee, you got it. If they wanted any type of food, you got it. If they wanted a specific notebook, you got it. You had been Shawn’s assistant for two years and knew his favorite brands and items without giving it a second thought, stocking up on things you could’ve been asked for which made the number of times you’d actually have to leave the house minimal. Shawn This led to getting an insight into Shawn’s writing and producing habits for up to 10 hours a day. Recording time was the best time to spend around Shawn as you were free from a lot of the authoritarian figures who watched over the two of you constantly.

You knew it was inappropriate but of course you had a little bit of a crush on Shawn, who wouldn’t? Constantly throughout your working relationship, you had forgotten that he paid your bills and he was actually your boss, although he treated you like you were friends. Andrew and the team had specifically hired someone around his age hoping that they’d be able to work well with Shawn, but they never imagined that you’d have as good a relationship as you had now. You’d stay up together on the bus in the middle of tour, talking about absolutely nothing but somehow, you’d never run out of things to say, often chatting your heads off until you saw the sun come up through the front window. You’d often end up asleep on random couches in expensive hotel rooms when you decide to binge watch a movie trilogy or a season of a random show. You’d even snuck out without the others knowing, seeing the sights of whatever random city you had found yourselves in. The one thing the two of you never discussed was a kiss you had shared after a night out in Europe. You were both under the influence of a hell of a lot of alcohol and agreed to never speak on it again, Shawn saying it was a mistake. You definitely didn’t agree, it was now like it never actually happened, despite how much you wanted it to happen again. The lines of a working relationship were blurred a long time ago.

“Hey y/n, can you grab me a new bottle?” Shawn asked, holding up the empty flow bottle, distracting you from your thoughts as you sat on the beanbag placed along the wall of the small studio room. “Got you” You laughed, standing up and grabbing a new bottle from the fridge next to you, tossing it to the tall boy situated on the chair close to the desk holding a heap of expensive recording equipment. You had been too distracted by your own thoughts to see that he was staring at you before he asked the question, with the same look you would give him whenever he wasn’t looking, a look of adoration.

Shawn had developed a crush on you as well. It was kind of inevitable for him, spending all this time together, feelings were bound to appear. He was professional though, and never let himself cross the boundaries though, except for that one night. He valued your friendship too much to let anything get in the way of you keeping your job. He was happy to have you around in any capacity.

“What’s on the agenda tonight, popstar?” You asked as you took a sip of the bottled water you’d gotten out for yourself, plopping yourself back down on the beanbag. Sunday’s meant Shawn was working by himself in the studio, free from the distractions of the other producers and writers, allowing him to be the sole creator of any ideas that came to mind that day. This was your favorite way to watch Shawn work. “It’s like 6pm and I’m honestly nearly done here so what do you think about some UberEats, that beer in the main fridge and whatever new Netflix standup comedy is out?” He asks, playing around with some buttons on the panel on the desk in front of him. “Only if I get to pick where we order from” You laughed in response, pulling up the app on your phone to search for your favorite fast food burger joint. “I think I can deal with Chick-fil-A again” He chuckled. He knew you a little too well.

Shawn returned to whatever he was creating on the sound desk in front of him, leading you to unlock your phone and open up the photos app. You spent the next however many minutes aimlessly looking at all of the photos of the two of you together, silly selfies when you were both going insane on tour and the typical tourist photos in front of landmarks all over the world featured, your mind going back to every moment you’d captured together. You smiled to yourself thinking of the memories you’d shared together.

Three hours later the two of you were curled up under blankets on the L-shaped couch, chugging your beers, chowing down on the chicken sandwiches while a Netflix standup special was playing in the background. You and Shawn rarely ever paid attention to what was playing on the TV, too engrossed in your own conversation. The two of you had discussed any random topic you could think of while consuming a copious amount of alcohol. The two of you both hadn’t had alcohol for a while, so it was affecting you a lot more than it usually did. “So… is there a girl yet Mendes?” you giggled, the beer finally making you a little bit buzzed. You were always pretty professional around Shawn and he rarely ever saw you under the influence. In the two years you’d known him, he’d never had a girlfriend. Of course, there were girls around, look at him! But they’d never stuck around. “Why do you ask me this when you already know the answer is no? We spend all our time together, I don’t have time for anyone else” He laughed, taking another swig of his fourth beer.

“So, are there any boys?” He retorted while you rolled your eyes at him. “Yeah there’s one annoying one who depends on me for everything, his name is Shawn” you cracked yourself up, you and Shawn knew at this point the alcohol was overwhelming you. You had stayed up for another few hours, finishing off a few episodes of Jane The Virgin. “I think it’s bedtime for you, look at you” he snickered while he cleaned up the leftovers and empty bottles. You were still laid up on the couch, but now half asleep. “Only if I get to stay in your bed” you replied with a giggle, looking up at him while he stood over cleaning off the coffee table in front of you. Drunk you had a lot more courage than your sober self. “I suppose, only if you stay on your side” He laughed, obviously a bit tipsy as well. You helped him scoop up the rest of the mess before you headed towards his bedroom door instead of your own.

“So, what are we gonna talk about? I haven’t shared a bed with a boy since you started cockblocking me two years ago” you teased, looking at him from across the bed. “Cockblocking?” He asked while confused. “Yeah. You think any guy is gonna wanna try and get with me at a bar when I’m always with this extremely good-looking tall dude scaring them off?” You replied truthfully, the alcohol had obviously worn off by this point of the night. “You think I’m good-looking?” he teased, poking his tongue out at you. “Of course I think that! I’ve only had a crush on you for the last eighteen months” you finally admitted, afraid of his reaction. “That’s the alcohol talking” He sighed, with a slight look of disappointment on his face. “It’s really not. I just don’t want to risk my job, Shawn. We’ve been so professional together, trying to not break any rules. I never wanted people to think that I got to where I am by sleeping with my boss. I’d never go against Andrew or your label, Shawn. I love our relationship and how we are together so much. I’d never risk that because of a stupid little crush” You were almost crying at this point, wiping away tears as you sat up in the bed.

“It’s not a stupid crush y/n. You know heaps of people around me have said that we look like a couple. I like you as well, you must know that already. I have for ages, that’s why I’ve never dated anyone since we got to know each other. We just can’t act on it; it would be so unprofessional” he admitted. “I wish we could, I really do. You have no idea how much I want to kiss you right now. But as you said I would hate for people to think any less of you because of it” he continued. “That’s what I thought, I want more than anything for us to actually be together and I’m annoyed that it took alcohol for me to tell you. Do you even remember when we kissed in Germany?” you asked him. “Of course I remember it. I think about it all the time” He exclaimed. “We can’t be talking about this y/n” He sighed, looking over at you. “Can’t talk about what, Shawn?” You sassed back, your sadness quickly turning to anger. “Us. There can’t be an us” He stated simply. “Then stop leading me on Shawn! You can’t treat me like more than a friend and turn it around on me when it suits you. It’s embarrassing. I don’t know if you remember, but you kissed me Shawn, not the other way around. If you want me to just act like your employee, that’s exactly what I’ll do” you yelled almost quietly, taking your pillow and storming back into the guest bedroom. You made sure to slam both his and your door as loud as you possibly could.

The next morning you made your way out to the kitchen to make your morning coffee before Shawn joined you. “I made you a coffee, boss” you sassed, passing him the extra cup you had just poured moments before he entered the kitchen. If he wanted you to act like an employee, that’s exactly what you’d do. “Thank you. I ordered from that breakfast place you like down the road. I just have to make a phone call; can you just go to the door and grab it? It should be here any minute. Then I want to actually discuss what the fuck actually happened last night.” He stated, finishing his iPhone out of his pocket. “Sure” you replied, heading to the door quickly, with your coffee still in hand, to meet the delivery driver. You grabbed the food and tipped the driver before heading back inside the door while Shawn finished off his phone call.

You didn’t want to listen in, but you couldn’t help it. “Yeah, yeah of course” he replied to the person on the phone. “No, I’m definitely single. I’d love to take you out once you get to LA” he told the person on the other side of the call. You couldn’t help but freeze in place when you heard what he said, dropping the coffee cup, allowing the liquid to spill everywhere and the porcelain to break all over the floor, tears filling your eyes. “I’ve gotta go” He hung up quickly before looking over at you near the entrance. “y/n?” He questioned as soon as he saw the tears in your eyes. ��Yeah, I heard that Shawn” You replied angrily, dropping the bag of food on the kitchen bench before storming off into your guest room, locking the door behind you.

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes x reader #shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes angst #shawn mendes imagine #ShawnMendesWritingCircle #shawn mendes x pa! reader #shawn mendes x y/n

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2nerd4this · 3 years

Text

For @cynicalrainbows. Sending lots of love and hope for better times your way.

Productivity had always been important to Catherine Parr. She definitely preferred spending her time producing something she could use to prove she spent her time well over doing nothing, and most of the time, she found this fairly enjoyable. Being able to look at the end result of her hard work was always satisfying, and she never felt more successful than when she was proud of the work she had done.

In her old life, being productive was an expectation. She had grown up with the expectation that she would get married and be a good wife for her husband, so she had learned many skills that would prove her worth to any potential man that could support her in society and allow her to survive. In society’s view, she was only productive when she took care of her husband and potential family, and over time, she got pretty good at that. Good enough, at least, that she had four husbands.

This form of productivity, however, was not nearly as satisfying as she had hoped, so she began to spend any free time she had being productive in a way that was much more appealing to her. Writing allowed her to see the things she accomplished grow and become solid in front of her eyes, and above all, it was just enjoyable. She created a name for herself as more than a wife or a Queen, but as a writer, and that became her legacy. Her purpose and her most important form of productivity.

---

Being productive stayed just as satisfying in Cathy’s second life. When everything was so uncertain and unfamiliar, being able to do something productive was a way to retain any sort of stability. It also gave her a purpose in the world she felt so out of place in.

When united with the five other Queens, she soon learned that her legacy had carried on into history and was what set her apart from the others. Each of them had an expectation that was laid on them in reincarnation and writing was hers.

In all honesty, this excited her. With all the new freedom, tools, and knowledge, she could write more, about more, and for more, than ever before.

In the beginning, she wrote as much as she could, for her own sheer pleasure. When she wasn’t writing, she was reading, exploring, and researching. The others were adapting to the world and contributing to their new lives in their own way, and they appreciated her work, which made it all the more better.

Recently, though, something had changed. Writing was no longer pleasurable. In fact, it felt more like a chore, but as hard as she tried to contribute to housework or errands, she had discovered that this was the way she had to be productive, and so she carried on.

Soon enough, she would be done with this infernal, horrifying script and she could move on, back to being as productive as she knew she needed to be.

At least that’s what Cathy told herself as she leaned over her desk, and lowered her head into her sore hands, sighing.

Even as she shut her eyes, the piercing light from her laptop invaded her vision and she cringed. She had been sitting in this chair for hours now, making absolutely no progress on the script that she promised the others would be ready by the end of the week.

It had been almost a month since Anna proposed the idea of telling their own versions of their stories on the stage and at first, Cathy had jumped at the opportunity. In her time in this century, she and the others had gotten quite the introduction to modern theatre through small productions that were put on just down the street, and their fascination grew from there.

Anne and Kitty had immediately volunteered to work on the songs, but when Catalina pointed out that they would need dialogue and an actual script, all eyes turned to Cathy, and she had no choice but to accept.

She was the writer of the group, after all, and she knew it would be cruel to make any of the others spend any more time than they had to reflect on their past traumas. When it came down to it, she was the obvious choice for the job, but that didn’t make it any easier.

The other Queens had been quick to reassure her that they didn’t expect a final draft during the first read-through, but the cousins had finished writing and composing the songs days ago, and they were all counting on her.

As such, the sixth Queen had spent day and night for the past week at her desk, trying to clunk through the script. It had been going fairly well, actually, until she finished Kitty’s section and reached her own.

It wasn’t a big deal, she told herself. She was expected to produce a script, and a script she would produce, but she could feel herself sinking into the world of uselessness, and that would never do. She was Catherine Parr, Queen of England and famous writer. This is what she is supposed to do.

Rubbing at her eyes, she tried to pull her brain to the blurring screen in front of her, but the light that was starting to seep through the curtains made her recoil and she flinched, then glanced at the clock: nearly 6am.

Sighing, she decided to treat herself with another mug of coffee, and began to stumble downstairs towards the kitchen, trying her best to remain silent for the five sleeping women in the house.

Or, apparently, the four, because a door creaked open behind her as she descended the first flight of stairs.

When Cathy reached the kitchen and the coffee maker, she saw Anna blearlily appear out of the corner of her eye, and tried her best to give a polite smile.

“You’re up early,” the fourth Queen commented, then paused and narrowed her eyes suspiciously at the younger woman, “or, more accurately, really, really late.”

“I was just working on the script, I’ll go to bed soon.” Cathy mumbled, to which Anna smiled.

“How’s that going, by the way?”

“Oh, errr....” Cathy quickly turned her attention back to the slowly filling mug. It was so hard to lie to Anna.

“Cathy? Is something wrong?” Anna looked suddenly concerned, and stepped toward her slowly. “We don’t expect it to be perfect, you know. It’d be completely understandable if you wanted a second pair of eyes, or third or fourth or... just to help out.”

“I got it, Anna.” Cathy mumbled under her breath, willing the coffee to drip faster.

“You sure? I’m always free to help if you...”

“I said-” Cathy cut her off suddenly, swinging her mug away and turning on the taller woman- “I got it. Wouldn’t want to tear you away from your Netflix and horror films, would we?”

“Whoa, Cathy, what-” Anna started, but it was too late. The sixth Queen had disappeared up the steps, leaving droplets of spilled coffee in her wake, with Anna reeling from her sudden tenacity and words.

---

Cathy collapsed into her desk chair just in time to bury her face in her hands, willing the tears to hold back. The moment she snapped at Anna, she felt horrible, but she didn’t exactly regret what she said. It was true- the Queen did spend an awful lot of time relaxing in the living room.

The interesting part, though, was that Cathy didn’t find herself angry at her for it. More... jealous.

Jealous that she was able to stop and breathe and not worry about creating something, jealous that the other Queens didn’t seem to mind her lack of productivity, jealous that she didn’t hate herself whenever she had a second of calm.

Shaking her head, she tried to clear these thoughts. Anna and Cathy were just built different, she reasoned. She was made to create things and Anna was made to... do whatever she did, which she was always somehow amazing at.

Cathy often hated herself for how jealous she was of the others when they sat down to watch a movie or go out to lunch, when she knew she needed to retreat back to her room to work. Logically, she knew she could easily join them, that it wouldn’t be the end of the world, and that she couldn’t be expected to be productive all day every day, but the instinct was so deeply ingrained in her from life in the 1500s that it was nearly impossible to shake.

As she turned back to the laptop, the rough draft of her introduction to her song that Anne had drafted with her a week ago (which, now that she thought about it, was about the same time things began to go downhill) glared back at her.

Before the draft, Anne and her had had a long conversation about Thomas and how she would tell her story, and the two eventually came to an agreement that the truth could be told through a different angle to make the whole story of the show flow better.

That didn’t make it hurt any less.

Writing these things about her life had forced her to reflect on things she never wanted to have to think about again, at least not at this depth.

In times that she was clear headed enough to examine her own thoughts and emotions, which were rare, she knew that there was trauma associated with her past, and that while she was still reeling from reincarnation, she was trying to write something that could communicate her experience, which was still all too real, to unassuming audience.

In those moments, she knew this was part of the struggle she was having. It was part of the reason that she had taken the burden of the script, to relieve this pain from the other Queens, and to find productivity and purpose in her skills.

When she wasn’t clear headed, though, there was no such self-awareness.

Now, she was just staring at her work in silence, willing herself to write something, anything, before she lost all energy and collapsed.

Closing her eyes, she clenched her fists and took a deep breath, before exhaling slowly and bringing her shaking fingers to the keyboard.

As she opened her eyes, the words on the screen were still out of focus, but she began typing anyway, with only a vague idea of what she was writing.

---

After twenty-minutes or so, Cathy had written a page, but she didn’t have the guts to reread it and see if it said what she wanted it to say.

Resigning herself to continue this pattern until she was able to return to her usual standard, she forged on, but before she could type more than a few words, a knock on the door broke through the haze in her mind.

Her heart dropped as she initially thought it must be Anna, but the voice that echoed through the door negated that idea, and after the instinctual relief, she realized that this was probably worse.

“Mija? Cathy?”

The sixth Queen could do nothing but sigh and lower her head to the desk in defeat at the sound of her godmother’s voice.

“Querida, I know you’re in there. I could hear you typing.”

Cathy held her breath, as if that would drive the first Queen away, but to no luck.

“I talked to Anna.”

A sharp inhale, and within moments, Cathy slid her wheeled chair to the door and turned the lock sharply.

Catalina waited a moment, then slowly turned the doorknob and peeked her head inside to see her goddaughter slumped over in the desk chair in the middle of the room.

“Catherine, are you alright?” The first Queen slipped through the barely open door and crossed the distance between them in a stride, kneeling down in front of her goddaughter, only to see her eyes tightly shut.

“How mad is Anna?” Cathy muttered, not opening her eyes. Catalina frowned.

“Hmm?”

“I didn’t mean to say that to Anna.”

“Oh...” Lina nodded slowly, “You mean when you insinuated she was lazy?”

Cathy cringed immediately, pulling her hands away from where her godmother was holding them gently.

“I swear I didn’t mean-”

“I know, I know, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said it like that. Anna isn’t mad, mija. She’s just concerned.” Catalina hurried to correct herself, immediately regretting her words.

“Concerned for what?” Cathy peered up at Lina, who sighed.

“You, of course. We all know you’ve been overworking herself on the script and Anna told me what happened when I came downstairs for breakfast.”

“I’m really sorry, I should never have said that to her. I was just... you know...”

“No, I don’t.” Catalina shook her head, shifting to sit on the floor in front of the chair. Cathy bit her lip, then slid out of the chair and sat across from her godmother, leaning against the bed. “Tell me, mija.”

“I guess I was just a little jealous,” Cathy admitted quietly, blushing furiously. “It’s so stupid, I know, but I haven’t really been thinking very clearly recently.”

“Jealous of... of Anna?” Catalina questioned, only to receive a small nod. “Of what exactly?”

“You know, her... the way she... she’s so chill and relaxed all the time, and I... I’m... not.”

“Alright....” Catalina began, tilting her head as she tried to examine the sixth Queen’s expression. “I’m sorry, querida, I don’t think I quite get it. Are you saying you want to be more, uh, ‘chill’?”

“No, no, I... I just want to...” Cathy stumbled over her words for a moment, before closing her eyes and leaning back against the bed in defeat. “I just want to relax.”

“Oh.” Lina whispered quietly, the pieces in her mind falling into place. “Oh, oh pobrecita.”

“Please don’t.” Cathy cringed. “I know what you’re going to say and I don’t need to hear it. I’ll take a break when I’m done with the script, but I really just need to finish it.”

Catalina nodded slowly, processing her words, before asking simply: “Why?”

“What?” Cathy was caught off-guard.

“Why?” The eldest Queen simply repeated, shrugging softly.

“You... they... it just needs to be done.”

“Well, yes, eventually that would be nice, but why does it have to be you?”

“I’m the writer. I volunteered and I should follow through,” Cathy explained simply.

“Alright... then what’s stopping you?”

“....”

“What was that, mija?” Catalina leaned forward, ducking her head to try and make eye contact.

“I can’t. I just... I can’t.”

“Okay.... what’s the difficult part?”

The question was meant with silence, so Lina hoisted herself to her knees and peered at the still shining laptop for a moment, before humming softly.

“I know the rest of us aren’t nearly good with words as you are, but would you accept our help? At least with this part?” Catalina offered, trying to sound as casually as she could. Cathy shook her head.

“I can do it. I would... I need...”

“Mija, honey... I, I don’t know how to explain this to you, but you’re not obligated to write this, especially not now.”

“I know that, I do, but I-” Cathy started, then suddenly furrowed her eyebrows. “What do you mean, ‘not now’?”

“You’re hurting.”

“No, I’m-”

“Yes you are,” Catalina quickly cut her off. “We all are. And we are all coping with reincarnation and the effects of our past trauma differently. I’m really sorry we didn’t see it sooner, we... we thought writing was your way of healing.”

“It is!” Cathy exclaimed, heartfelt. “Or at least it was... I.. I don’t know what happened.”

“Cathy... Catherine... you’re allowed to take time for yourself, especially when you’ve been through something like this. There’s no need to be productive, to have a purpose all the time. You can rest, honey. You should rest.”

There were a few minutes of silence after this, as Cathy stared at the carpet and Catalina fidgeted to keep herself from speaking, before the younger woman lifted her head slowly.

“I don’t think I can finish the script, Catalina. Not right now.”

Catalina beamed, then quickly schooled her expression and nodded. “Okay. I’ll talk to the others and see if we can figure something out, and then you can approve it when you’ve rested.’

“Thank you. They won’t... they won’t be mad, right.”

“Of course not, querida. We all know all too well how it feels to be a little messed up, or a lot messed up, and how important rest is because of it. You’re more than allowed to take time for yourself to recover. Alright?”

“...yeah.” Cathy nodded slowly. “Alright.”

Catalina smiled widely once more. “I’m very proud of you, mija. Please rest.”

Cathy simply nodded, feeling the exhaustion of the past few weeks finally catching up to her. As she allowed herself to relax fully into the bed behind her and her eyes to fall shut, she exhaled slowly, feeling for the first time in the week that she could breathe again.

#six the musical #six the musical fanfiction #not edited but oh well #also meant to get this out there sooner but life happened #love you cyn <3

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bechloebeale · 4 years

Text

I’m in the corner, watching you kiss her (1/1)

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Pairing: Bechloe

Words: 6.6K

Summary: Beca is quietly in love with her best friend/roommate. They go out for drinks after a long week of work. What could possibly go wrong?

Notes: Title from and fic inspired by Calum Scott's cover of Dancing On My Own. Set in the 'PP3 doesn't exist but bechloe still live together in the Brooklyn apartment' universe. I apologize if it's a little rusty, this is my first fic in years.

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Beca lets out an exaggerated sigh as she kicks the door shut with her foot, immediately dropping her bag close by and flopping down onto the poorly made fold out couch that her and Chloe share in the small Brooklyn apartment.

Thank god it’s Friday, she thinks when pulling her phone out of the back pocket of her skinny jeans and rolling herself onto her back. 4:45 pm. Chloe will be home in half an hour, depending on how quickly she gets out of work to manage to catch the 5:05 train. Not that Beca memorized Chloe’s schedule and always waits for the older girl to arrive home... Not at all.

She sits herself up with another slightly dramatic sigh. She shouldn’t be this exhausted from work, mentally and physically. She enjoys her job, most of the time. She should be happy that she’s living her dream, producing music and doing what she loves while also getting paid. But, the number of imbeciles she has to deal with on a weekly basis often makes her wonder why she ever wanted to do this in the first place.

All she really looks forward after a long day of work is coming home to her best friend every night and cuddling up on their bed with snacks and her laptop, to watch whatever tv show or movie Chloe decided they have to see. Yeah, Chloe may have broken down a couple of Beca’s walls with her overly affectionate personality, she was also really hard to say no to. Especially since Beca has had feelings for the other girl for as long as she can remember, though she refused to admit it to herself for a while. It is easier to deal with now, the whole pining over your best friend/roommate wasn’t the hardest thing ever. She would never risk her friendship with Chloe because of some silly feelings, feelings that may have slowly turned into realizing she was in love with her. Who wouldn’t be totally head over heels for that girl? If her looks aren’t already enough; bright, gorgeous, bluer than the sky eyes that are full of hope and happiness, her smile that never fails to make Beca’s heart beat a little faster every time and let’s not even get started on her adorable giggle. It’s her gentle, dorky and bubbly personality that could light up a dark room. Her determination and passion, her love for the Bellas, her ability to see and appreciate the good in even the smallest things in life.

There are too many reasons to count why Chloe Beale is one of the most genuine and beautiful people Beca has ever had the pleasure of knowing… Actually, she is the most genuine and beautiful person Beca has ever known.

So, aside from the underlying feelings for her best friend that she neatly hides under a rug, Beca loves living with her. She is tidy, she gives Beca space to go into her anti-social bubble whenever needed, she makes her coffee every morning because Beca still hasn’t figured out how to use the stupid coffee machine even after having it for over a year. The two both genuinely enjoy each other’s company; they go grocery shopping together, they occasionally go out to lunch or dinner on weekends together when they aren’t extremely broke from paying monthly rent, they listen to music and dance stupidly around the tiny apartment. They work really well as a team.

Usually, Beca forgets Amy also lives there too. She’s never really around that much anyway and when she is, it is just to grab a few things, make sly comments here and there about how married Beca and Chloe act before heading off again. Often but not always, coming home in the early hours of the morning– from her weekly boy toy’s house, or from the nightclub.

Beca eventually sits up from her position of laying defeated on the bed and shuffles back to lean against the pillows, resting her phone in her lap. Starting to scroll through the Netflix app to see if anything sparks her eye to suggest to Chloe that they watch for the night, although nothing ever really does and the older of the two always ends up picking something.

She’s only halfway through the ‘Popular on Netflix’ section when the door flings open and Chloe bounces through. “Hey!” she says with a cheerful grin, walking to place her handbag down on the coffee table. “How was your day?” she asks, turning to face the smaller girl after removing her jacket and hanging it up on the back of the door.

“Exhausting,” Beca groans, dropping her phone to lay beside her, “very glad it’s Friday,” running a hand through her hair lazily and continuing, “what about you? Save some more innocent little creatures to live another eventful day in the city of Brooklyn?” she says with a slight smirk.

Chloe lets out a soft giggle as she kicks off her shoes, sitting down on the edge of the bed, “Not today, but I did get to meet this really cute puppy who needed his first vaccinations,” she beams with sparking eyes and a smile before shrugging lightly, “so, I’d say it was a pretty good day.”

“Ah-ha, nothing like a tiny puppy to end the week off,” Beca says with a soft laugh, “wish I had your job sometimes, but then I remember the story of the cow and that thought goes away pretty quickly...”

“Don’t remind me!” Chloe scrunches her nose, shaking her head with another giggle. “Why don’t we do something tonight, you know, to get your mind off of work,” she tilts her head towards the brunette with an empathetic smile.

Beca raises an eyebrow curiously, “Depends on what you have in mind… I was pretty ready to just lay here for the rest of the night and do absolutely nothing.” – And maybe, cuddle just a little… she thinks to herself, refraining from saying it a loud. Chloe doesn’t have to know how much Beca actually does enjoy their cozy cuddling and patiently waits almost every night for the other girl to climb into the bed after her shower, smelling purely of strawberries & cream from her shampoo.

“I mean, that is always fun, and I did find another interesting tv show for us to watch… But, why don’t we go out for some drinks?” Chloe shrugs a shoulder, “Let off some steam, dance it out… Get those delicious, unhealthy but awes burritos afterwards from that place you love down the street…” her lips turning into a small smirk.

Beca hums softly, “I do love those burritos,” pausing for a moment, chewing her bottom lip as she thought about the proposition, “but I don’t know about having to deal with more dicks than I already do at work… With them also being drunk and wild, doesn’t sound like the best way I want to spend my Friday night.”

Chloe pursed her lips with a small understanding nod. “Oh!” –she spins on the bed excitedly to properly face Beca, crossing her legs with a small bounce– “we could go to that groovy place Amy took us once, with the neon signs and yummy cocktails! It’s never usually that busy, that’s why Amy didn’t want to stay there long… Plus, it has that local DJ that you like playing there on Friday nights,” she says with a grin.

“Damn. Cocktails, decent music and burritos… You really make it hard to say no, don’t you?” Beca smirks, watching Chloe doing an adorable little dance, making the bed shake lightly. “Alright, alright. Fine. I guess it wouldn’t be terrible… I do feel like a drink, maybe 10…”

“Yay! Don’t worry, it will be aca-awesome!” teasingly emphasizing on the last word because she knows how much Beca hate the phrases that Chloe and Aubrey still haven’t let die. “I’m gonna have a quick shower and get ready then,” the older girl leaps up from the bed to head towards the shower, stripping her scrubs off on her way and chucking it into the laundry basket close by. Something that had become a reoccurring thing for Chloe to do, she’s seen the confident redhead in underwear or wrapped in a towel more times than she can count.

Beca narrows her eyes, focus gazing down Chloe’s toned back before shaking her head and looking away, glancing down at herself to see if what she is currently wearing is nightclub appropriate. Probably not. She slowly shuffles off the bed to look through her rack of clothes hanging nearby. A different pair of black ripped skinny jeans and a slightly nicer top to match her leather jacket is what she decides on.

Roughly an hour after Chloe gets out of the shower, she’s finally putting on her heels to match her little dark green dress and walking to the mirror to put in her gold hoop earrings. Ruffling long red hair to fall in waves down her shoulders.

Beca raises an eyebrow from where she sits at the coffee table, putting her phone into her jacket pocket. She managed to get changed, freshen up her makeup, pour herself a drink of whiskey & cola and catch up on the rest of her work emails while Chloe was still getting ready. She admires the other girl’s outfit from afar, slowly trailing her eyes over her body and down her tone legs. She does love Chloe in green, it makes her eyes glow even more, if that was even possible, and goes so well with her bright, radiant hair. She sips the last of her drink before clearing her throat, “Finally ready to go, miss?”

Chloe spins around with an enthusiastic nod, “Yep!”, walking over to grab one of her small purses and putting her phone into it. “How do I look?”, she cocks her head to the side with a confident smile.

“Chlo, you know you look great,” Beca says as she stands from her seat, “I like that dress… It’s nice,” she smiles softly, finding it extremely difficult to take her eyes away from the bright ones staring back at her.

“Thanks, Bec,” Chloe’s cheeks blush lightly as she looked down at herself and then back up, “you look great, too… Always.”

Beca shrugs a shoulder, moving to place her empty cup in the sink to break the longing stare happening between them. Chloe really wasn’t shy when it came to eye contact. “I guess we clean up nice,” she says with a smirk as they move towards the front door.

_____________________

Chloe was right, the club really isn’t that packed, and it’s big enough that even with a few more people, it is still tolerable for Beca. They find a booth to sit in which isn’t far from the bar, so they’re taking it in turns getting the rounds of cocktails, so they don’t lose their seat. The music isn’t too bad either, Beca has a habit of over analyzing others remix choices but, this DJ is pretty good so she can’t complain.

“See, told you this place would be cool!” Chloe nudges the smaller girl’s shoulder as she holds her straw between her fingers, taking a sip from her pineapple and passionfruit cocktail.

Beca’s lips curl into a smile as she glances over to Chloe, “You’re just waiting for me to say it was a good idea, aren’t you?” she says with a soft laugh, “it is pretty cool, though,” she finishes with a shrug. “This cocktail is amazing, too. It doesn’t even taste like alcohol at all“–she stops to take a small sip– “Very deceiving, slightly dangerous. I know there is at least two shots of tequila in it ‘cause I watched him making it.”

Chloe giggles as she shuffles slightly closer into the smaller girls side, “Let me try, I might get that one next,” she reaches over, taking a small sip and then glancing at Beca with wide eyes, “Oh, wow, yeah that is really nice… Try mine! It tastes like sunshine in a glass,” tilting her cocktail towards Beca.

“You are like sunshine in a glass,” Beca says with a soft laugh before taking a sip, nodding her head slowly as she narrowed her eyes, “Mhm, yeah. That’s good shit.”

“You’re good shit,” Chloe replies with another giggle, nudging against Beca’s shoulder again and settling her glass down on the table. “Now… It’s time to dance it out,” she whispers close to the other girl’s ear and then standing up, holding her hand out. Sending shivers up Beca’s spine from the quick closeness.

Beca freezes halfway through sipping her drink, “Oh, no, no. I’m still about two drinks away from that, Beale,” she says with a shake of her head. Mentally trying not to break as Chloe’s lips turn into a small pout.

“C’mon, Bec! I know you can dance! You’ve done it on stage in front of thousands of people,” Chloe argues, emphasizing her pout with a furrow of her brow.

“That’s… Very different. Choreography and lots of practice,” she scoffs back with a laugh. “You go. I’ll watch your drink and keep our super cool, comfy booth company,” Beca grins as her lips try to find her straw again without breaking eye contact with the pouty redhead in front of her.

Chloe lets out a soft huff and softens her expression, “Fine… But you better get your butt off that couch soon. This is just as bad as getting you out of bed in the mornings. Get yourself another drink!”

Beca rolls her eyes and nods, watching Chloe bounce off to the slightly crowded dance floor in front of them and letting her shoulders drop slightly as she leans back, looking down to see how much of her drink was left– only halfway and tequila really did hit her pretty hard. Maybe she only needed one more before she was ready to dance. Again, Chloe is extremely hard to say no to. Plus, she really does want to dance with her best friend, although Chloe’s innocent flirty behavior only gets worse when she has alcohol in her system and Beca finds it harder to deal with every time they drink together. She always has to monitor her own drinking, just in case she did something stupid like accidentally tell Chloe she is hopelessly, pathetically, in love with her.

She looks around her surroundings, the people in here aren’t actually too bad, compared to some of the places Amy has forced the two of them to go to in the past. There are hipsters, other people around their age who seem to be doing the same as them by enjoying the cocktails and some younger girls that appear to just be there to take photos with the neon signs to upload to Instagram.

Beca eventually settles her eyes back on Chloe, a small smile appearing on her face at how freely the redhead is dancing, she really does look majestic and gorgeous without even trying. Her hair flowing down her back as her body moves with the beat of the song, hips shaking from side to side and a drunken smile on her face as she turns to look over to the booth, winking at Beca after noticing that she’s already staring.

Beca gives a shy smile back and recoils slowly further back into the seat, glancing down into her glass as she plays with the ice using her straw. She looks back up about a minute later to see a, frankly, stunning brunette girl dancing near Chloe, seeming to get closer as the song continues. The stranger finally makes her way in front of Chloe, who gives her a friendly smile as she starts to dance with her, the two moving together to the beat. The other girl puts her hands onto Chloe’s hips, whispering something close to her ear. Beca swallows thickly and tries to look anywhere but at them, taking a slightly large gulp out of her drink as she tries to ignore the slight jealousy building up in her slowly.

When she finally glances back at them, it’s just in time to see the brunette moving one of her hands to Chloe’s cheek and leaning in, starting to kiss her and… Chloe actually kisses back. Beca feels her stomach drop like she just went down a giant hill on a rollercoaster. Surely Chloe isn’t that drunk, she’s only about one or two drinks in front of Beca and even drunk, Beca has never witnessed her kiss another girl. Sure, she might have said to her a couple of years ago that she wished she experimented more in College… But she never actually brought it back up again after that, nor did she get anybody else to take her up on the proposal, she definitely would have told her. Beca thought about it a lot after it happened and mentally punched herself a couple of times for not taking Chloe up on the offer or at least exploring what she actually meant by it. Once she actually wanted to confront Chloe, after her and Jesse had broken up, she told herself it had been too long, and it would just be weird to randomly ask about it.

Beca furrows her brow as she glances away with a confused expression, instantly gulping down the rest of her drink and wincing slightly at the burn of tequila at the bottom of the glass. She tries to stop her eyes from glancing back at them but struggles and gives in, immediately regretting it when she sees them still kissing, more so, full on making out now. She puts her drink down on the table and rubs her sweaty palms over her jeans as she stares down into her lap. The feeling in her gut makes her feel sick and she can feel her chest tightening up like she was about to have a panic attack. Stop being stupid, Mitchell. She’s not even yours, she thinks to herself, but it doesn’t stop the lump forming in her throat. She had to get some air. Right now.

She squints, glancing around while trying to avoid the two that she can still obviously see right in front of her and stands up quickly, immediately heading for the exit door, taking a deep breath in once the fresh air hits her. There’s a brick wall to her left that she immediately moves to lean against, closing her eyes as she tries to swallow back the stupid lump in her throat. Her hands patting her jacket pockets anxiously, letting out a small sigh of relief as she retrieves the cigarette packet and lighter– a terrible habit Beca has when she gets too stressed. She lights one up and leans her head back against the wall to look up at the sky.

She has witnessed Chloe kissing other people before, and though it hurts a little every time, it shouldn’t hurt this much. But watching her kiss another girl rattles something inside of Beca that she can’t control. There are a few reasons behind not telling Chloe how she truly feels, aside from potentially ruining their friendship, she’s pretty certain the redhead is completely straight, and her own insecurities convince her that Chloe would never like her in that way.

Taking a drag from the cigarette with shaky hands, she closes her eyes to try and focus on her breathing. She really should have just stayed at home.

“Bec?” Chloe slightly yells as she comes out of the exit door while looking around, making Beca jump lightly, straightening herself up to not look so miserable against the wall.

Chloe furrows her brow and scrunches her nose as her eyes fall on Beca and the cigarette between her fingers, “What are you doing?”

Beca glances into Chloe’s direction, “Just–” she clears her throat “–getting some fresh air…” She purses her lips and resists the urge to take another drag of the cigarette in front of Chloe after she notices how her red hair is slightly messier and her cheeks are flushed.

“Well, don’t you think you’re ruining getting fresh air by putting that in your lungs?” Chloe questions as she tilts her head slightly. “Come back inside, we’re going lose our seat,” she steps closer.

Beca can see how Chloe’s lipstick is slightly smudged once she gets closer. “Um, I… actually… think I’m going to head home,” Beca replies with a soft shake of her head, avoiding looking into Chloe’s direction, “That tequila kind of gave me a headache and I’m pretty tired.”

Chloe’s face drops and her brow furrows again, “Oh…” She perks her head back up, lip quirking into a small smile, “Well, I’ll come with you then, we can get you some water and–”

“No, it’s okay,” Beca interrupts, “you looked like you were having fun in there so, I’ll just see you at home,” she forces a half smile, a pretty poor attempted one and turns, walking away in the direction that she thinks the apartment is in, before Chloe can speak again.

______________________

Beca gets back to the apartment in about double the time it took her and Chloe to walk there, she definitely did not go the right way. She shuts the door with a little too much force, making half the coats hanging on the back fall to the ground, giving them a glare and deciding she really doesn’t have the energy to pick them up right now. She glances around the small apartment, making sure Amy isn’t there. No surprise, she isn’t.

She sits on the end of the bed, a dramatic and shaky sigh leaving her lips, feeling even more exhausted than what she did when she arrived home from work. The apartment feels even more empty and quiet than usual, making that dreaded lump in her throat come back. She isn’t even sure where she is looking, somewhere on the ground, but her eyes begin to blur as a few tears stray from her eyes to roll down her cheeks. Shaking her head with a groan, she wipes them away quickly and puffs out a breath. This is stupid, you are stupid, she thinks as she stands up, unsteadily shuffling off her jacket.

Her eyes spot the bottle of whiskey she used earlier on the table, pressing her lips together and clenching her jaw slightly, she walks over to it and removes the lid, taking a long swig then instantly closing her eyes tightly as it burns down her throat. She makes a slow move back to the bed, slipping her phone out of her jeans with bottle still in the other and settles down against the pillows.

Her mind wanders to what Chloe is doing right now, if she just walked back into the club without second guessing Beca’s behavior. What she might be doing with that girl right now. She’s probably still having fun. She can’t be mad at Chloe for any of it, she isn’t mad, it’s not her place, but it still is really hard for it not to hurt. She should have seen this coming, Chloe being with someone else, she should have prepared herself. Chloe is beautiful, she is bound to kiss or even get into a relationship eventually. Beca just didn’t properly prepare herself, like most things in her life.

She doesn’t know how long she’s been sitting there, mind preoccupied by thoughts. She opens her phone, having to blink a few times to focus her eyes down on it. No notifications. She’s not surprised. Actually, she’s a little surprised. Chloe is the type to text if Beca got home safe, if she’s feeling better, if she’s sure she doesn’t want her to come back. Obviously, she was still having fun without her. Beca doesn’t care. She shouldn’t care.

She throws it to the side and lifts her knees to drape her arms over them, hanging the bottle between them. The keys rattling in the door shakes her out of her thoughts, looking up with a slight frown as the door opens.

Chloe walks in cautiously, holding a large paper bag in one hand. “Hey, you,” she says as she closes the door behind her, brow furrowing at the pile of coats near her feet and stepping over them before glancing up at Beca and then the bottle between her legs, “I thought you had a headache,” she settles the paper bag and her purse onto the coffee table.

Beca chews on her bottom lip for a moment before responding, “Uh, yeah… I– I did…”, she glances around, unsure of what to say because she is terrible at lying, especially to Chloe. Clearing her throat, moving to settle the bottle down on the small bedside table carefully and crossing her legs in front of her.

Chloe cocks her head to the side as she stares at Beca for a moment, “Okay, well, I got you this–” she pulls bottled water out of the bag, settling it on the table “–I know you don’t overly enjoy the tap water we have here,” her lip curving into a small smile before continuing, “I also got you this,“ pulling a wrapped burrito out of the bag.

Beca smiles slightly, “Thanks, Chlo…”, she says in a soft tone, “I was going to get one… But I think I took the wrong way back.”

Chloe pulls her own burrito out of the bag, struggling to balance both of them in her hands and pick the water back up at the same time but manages, walking over to the bed to sit down on the corner, dropping the items down, “I was going to tell you that, but you walked away too quickly for me to get a word out,” she blinks up at Beca, pushing the items closer to her.

“Sorry,” is all Beca manages to get out as her eyes follow the other girl’s hand, glancing back up to find those ocean blue eyes still staring back at her.

“Are you okay, Becs?” Chloe says with sympathetic eyes, shuffling further up the bed to get closer to her.

Beca distracts herself by fiddling with the wrapping of the burrito in front of her, shrugging a shoulder lightly as she thinks about her response, “Yeah… Like I said, just tired.”

Chloe lets a soft sigh fall from her lips as she studies Beca’s face, “You know, you can talk to me, right? I thought we were past this whole walls-built stories high Beca thing… “

“I said I’m okay, Chloe. Just– Just drop it,” she runs her palms over her jean covered thighs, suddenly realizing how sweaty they are again, “please,” she adds on.

Chloe blinks slowly as her mouth gaps open a little before pursing her lips together with a frown, staying quiet for a long moment before changing her mind, “Actually, no. Beca, I want to know what happened. It’s pretty clear you’re not okay. We were having a good time… Is it about that girl who started dancing with me because–”

“No! I don’t care, honestly,” Beca laughs dryly, “I am totally fine, I just wanted to go home. I’m glad you were having fun… Tongue down her throat kind of fun.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Chloe frown grows further with a wrinkled nose, “Are you jealous or something? I could have easily got her to come over to you instead.”

Beca lets out another dry laugh, “That’s not what I wanted,” she shakes her head, slowly lifting her gaze from the bed to meet confused eyes.

“Okay, then what do you want?” Chloe replies in lower tone as she looks over Beca’s face with those soft, glowing eyes that momentarily drop down to her lips before making their way back up.

Moments like this; she thinks, maybe, just maybe, Chloe has feelings back. That Chloe wants it all just as much. “I want,” Beca trails off, chewing the inside of her cheek, “to eat my burrito, I’m starving,” breaking the eye contact that was making the beat of her heart ten times quicker every second it continued. Idiot. Just tell her. Tell her how you feel.

Chloe expression flattens into defeat as she sighs quietly with a small nod, standing up from the bed to grab an old t-shirt and sleep shorts out of the draw, changing out of her dress close by.

Beca distracts herself from glancing up at the redhead by unwrapping the burrito, taking a few small bites as she fights back and forth with her mind. She really wasn’t that hungry. Why did Chloe react like she was expecting, even hoping, for Beca to say something different? Did she really just miss her chance to say ‘I want you. Please want me the same way I want you.’ There are a thousand things going through her head as she sits quietly on the bed with her eyes fixated on the food in front of her.

“I hope I got your order right; I’ve memorized it pretty good,” Chloe mumbles as she moves to settle down on the other side of the bed to lean back against her pillow, fiddling with her fingers in her lap. Her own food forgotten about at the end of the bed.

“It’s good, exactly how I like it. Thanks, Chlo,” she says with her mouth half full, sending a small smile into Chloe’s direction, which instantly disappears when she notices how sad she looks. It’s like looking at a hurt puppy and makes that sudden drop in Beca’s stomach come back. She swallows her final chew and leans to settle the half-eaten burrito down on to the bedside table next to the bottle of whiskey. Gross combination, Mitchell. She turns back to shuffle to lay on her side facing Chloe, propping herself up with one elbow, “Hey, I’m sorry… I know I kind of ruined our night and all.”

Chloe shakes her head faintly, “You didn’t, it’s okay,” turning her head to meet Beca’s gaze, her lips curving into a soft smile, “I’d much rather be here with you than anywhere else,” she says in a soft tone as she shuffles herself down to mirror Beca’s position and face her.

Beca really hopes the dim, pathetic lights in their apartment hides the blush she can feel creeping up her cheeks. “You really are my favorite person, Chloe,” she says in an equally as soft tone, her eyes wandering over Chloe’s soft features, watching the way her smile brightens after Beca’s words which makes her eyes crinkle and her eyelashes flutter through slow blinks.

“You’re my favorite person, too,” Chloe replies, moving her free hand that isn’t being used to support herself to gently brush a strand of hair away and behind Beca’s ear. Sparkling, blue eyes following her own movement before trailing back to land on Beca’s lips again, and then slowly returning to her eyes.

Beca knows she didn’t imagine that one, that lingering stare definitely lasted longer that time. She closes her eyes for a moment to bask in the feeling of Chloe’s fingers lightly trailing down her ear and jaw, skimming down the side of her neck, sending a small shiver down her spine that she really hopes wasn’t that noticeable. She opens her eyes back up slowly to meet the soft ones staring back at her. Her lips part like she’s ready to say something but closing them again after realizing she has no words for what is happening right now, and she definitely didn’t want to disturb or stop whatever was. Her heart is beating like it was about to jump out of her chest.

Chloe’s tongue flicks out to lick over her own lips and Beca’s eyes dares to skim down. She could feel Chloe inching closer ever so slowly, she could smell her fragrance–still that hint of strawberries & cream, mixed with the floral scented perfume she uses every day– Beca feels intoxicated and not at all by the alcohol she had consumed tonight.

Chloe’s fingers gently continue to trail down Beca’s neck before returning their journey back up to behind her ear and rest her hand against her cheek to cup it softly. She’s moving so slowly like she is worried she is going to scare Beca away, searching her face for any evidence this isn’t okay before finally closing that last bit of distance between them, lips barely brushing against each other.

As soon as she feels Chloe’s lips brush hers, Beca takes a light shaky breath in and leans further into the lips against her own. Was this really happening? Was there something unusual in that tequila cocktail that could possibly be making her hallucinate this? And then her mind stops working, drowning out to nothing but how soft Chloe’s lips are and how her knees feel weak even though she was lying down. She presses her lips further and tilts her head slightly as Chloe adds the same amount of pressure, kissing her back gently.

Beca’s free hand trails up from where it was awkwardly laying between them to rest on Chloe’s rib cage and pull her closer as she feels Chloe’s thumb rubbing softly against her cheek, eagerly pulling her further into the kiss.

The gradation of it all is innocent at first, their lips moving with each other’s like they are made for one another, shaky tiny breaths exhaled in between. But then Chloe’s tongue traces slowly out to meet Beca’s parting lips, Beca feels like she is melting into the bed as her tongue meets Chloe’s and her hand trails from Chloe’s rib cage around to her back, pulling her impossibly closer as their bodies press against one another.

Chloe is the first to pull back slightly after what seems like too long but also not long enough, to let out a much-needed breath. She leans in to press another soft kiss to Beca’s lips before fluttering her eyes open just at the same time as the darker blue ones, her lips curving into a smile, “I’ve wanted to do that for a really long time,” she whispers.

Beca just blinks back at the clear ocean eyes staring back into her own for a moment, “You have?” she eventually whispers back, the hand she has laying on Chloe’s back mindlessly starts trailing to hold onto her side again, like she’s scared she is about to suddenly disappear and she’ll wake up from a dream.

Chloe just nods, the smile on her lips brightening.

Beca sighs, slightly in relief and slightly trying to calm herself, she can still feel her heart beating way faster than it normally does. She surges forward to meet Chloe’s lips again, feeling Chloe’s hand moving from her cheek around to the back of her neck and instantly deepening the kiss again. One of Chloe’s thighs makes their way in between Beca’s jean covered thighs as they pull each other closer, and closer. This makes the arm Beca was propping herself up on instantly give out.

A soft giggle leaves Chloe’s lips after it happens before meeting her tongue again, she moves to slowly roll them over, so Chloe is lying on top of Beca, thigh still settled comfortably between her legs and the hand around Beca’s neck moving to tangle into brunette hair.

Beca takes a shaky breath in as she relaxes onto her back, one of her own thighs finds its way between Chloe’s and she swears she hears the other girl let out a quiet moan. Her hands trailing to rest on Chloe’s hips as their tongues dance around together passionately, Beca can’t control herself from arching her hips up ever so slightly.

Chloe meets her hips with a gentle roll down of her own, eventually tearing her lips away from Beca’s to start pressing soft kisses down her jaw line and across the side of her neck.

Beca tilts her head back to accompany the soft lips trailing across her neck, keeping her eyes pressed closed as she breathes heavily before– “Wait…” she whimpers out.

Chloe immediately stops and lifts her head up to meet Beca’s gaze with a slightly confused look, searching her eyes for uncertainty, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I just–“ she swallows thickly, realizing how dry her throat has become “–Can we just–“ she stutters out, looking into the pair of eyes that stare back at her so protectively and lovingly “–I don’t want this to just be some drunken make out or just sex… I really, really, like you, Chloe,” Beca says the last part a little quieter.

Finally. Beca feels a weight lifting off her shoulders as the words she’s been holding in for years finally leave her lips. Although she’s definitely holding herself back from saying I love you, just in case Chloe doesn’t feel the same. The possibility of losing her best friend is too much to think about right now.

Chloe’s expression softens as she pulls back to be able to properly look at Beca, the hand in her hair trailing back to cup her cheek and caressing again with her thumb, fingers moving lazily against the soft part of her neck right under her jaw, “I really, really, like you, Beca. I have since the moment I met you,” she says with an adorable smile spreading across her face.

Beca breathes out another sigh of relief, “Okay, cool,” her lips curving into a smile that’s probably a little too satisfied, “good to know.”

Beca still couldn’t believe this was really happening. Did she really hold and suppress all her feelings for so long without knowing Chloe has felt the exact same? Was she that oblivious that Chloe liked her back? Clearly.

“Yeah,” Chloe leans back down to press a gentle kiss to Beca’s lips, “good to know,” she murmurs against them, kissing soft lips a few more times before moving to kiss her cheek, shuffling to lay beside Beca again, “We’ve had a long night. Why don’t we cuddle and go to sleep, hm? Then I can show you just how much this definitely isn’t some drunken make out in the morning,” she hums, dancing her fingers down Beca’s neck, collarbone and shoulder blade.

Beca nods softly, the smile plastered on her face not leaving any time soon, “I’d like that,” she turns to steal another gentle kiss from Chloe before shuffling herself out of the bed. She struggles her skinny jeans and top off, finding a band t-shirt already on the floor to slip on before picking up the burrito from her bedside table and Chloe’s from the end of the bed, “I’m going to put these bad boys in the fridge for breakfast,” she smirks and walks them over to the fridge.

Chloe rearranges the blanket from underneath her so she can slip in and giggles, “Gross. But I like your thinking,” she winks and opens the blanket up as Beca turns off the lights and makes her way back over to the bed.

Beca settles back in with a content sigh. “Just one more…” she leans in to press a gentle kiss to Chloe’s lips, feeling the redhead smiling against her lips as she kisses back. It’s not hard to map out where her face is because of their shitty blinds that don’t block out the streetlights or the morning sun.

Chloe shuffles them down as she wraps her arms around Beca’s small frame as Beca reluctantly turns around after a few more soft kisses, pressing her back into Chloe’s front. “Hey, Becs,” she whispers, pulling Beca closer as she nuzzles her face into her shoulder.

“Mhm?” Beca hums out, already content enough to fall asleep quickly as one of Chloe’s hand finds her own.

There was a long pause before Chloe speaks again, “I actually really, really, love you.”

“I really, really, love you, too.”

The end.

#bechloe #beca mitchell #chloe beale #bechloe fic #bechloe fanfic #fanfiction #mine*

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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Best Romantic Movies on Amazon Prime Right Now

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Some movies brave enough to tread where only pop songs and poems go, and try to capture all the drama, contradictions and happy, bubbly feelings that come along with romance and love. It’s high-time that we honor them and defend them against their unearned sappy reputations with the best romantic movies on Amazon Prime.

We’ve scoured Amazon Prime to find the best romantic movies available for your viewing pleasure. Here are the best romantic movies on Amazon Prime. Ok, some of them are perfectly sappy.

The Big Sick

Kumail Nanjiani and his wife Emily Gordon’s theatrical debut made big waves when it came out for the singularity of its vision and just how plain funny it is. Now Amazon gets to reap the benefits of producing a bonafide romantic indie hit by getting its exclusive streaming rights. The Big Sick is the real life story of comedian Kumail Nanjiani meeting and falling in love with his wife, Emily (who is played by Zoe Kazan in the film).

Kumail and Emily’s courtship process is difficult enough to begin with due to Kumail’s family pressuring him to find a nice Pakistani girl to settle down with. But soon things get even more difficult as Emily suffers a health scare and Kumail must suddenly contend with that situation and Emily’s eccentric parents who have just come to town. The Big Sick is a clear vision from talented people and tells a beautifully convincing love story while making plenty of room for laughter. Not only that but it’s a big win for our list of best romance movies on Amazon Prime.

Watch The Big Sick

What If

Canadian drama What If (originally known as The F Word before the MPAA got its greasy fingers all over it) is a fun romantic movie and a tremendous showcase for its two young stars Daniel Radcliffe (you know what he’s from) and Zoe Kazan (The Big Sick). Radcliffe stars as Wallace – a directionless young man living in Toronto who decides to become more social after his girlfriend cheats on him.

Enter Kylo Ren (Adam Driver playing a character who is unfortunately not named Kylo Ren) who takes Wallace to a party where he meets the alluring Chantry (Kazan). Wallace and Chantry immediately fall for each other. Unfortunately there’s the small matter of Chantry’s boyfriend. What If? is a sweet little Canadian flick that knows how to push its audiences romantic buttons.

Watch What If

Still Mine

Still Mine isn’t necessarily about romance. It’s about love – a deep prevailing love built up over decades. Craig Morrison (James Cromwell) is a farmer in rural New Brunswick, Canada. He intends to build a new house for his ailing wife Irene (Geneviève Bujold) but runs into trouble with the local municipality’s bureaucracy prevents him from doing so.

Still Mine is as romantic a movie about bureacratic development regulations as has ever existed. Cromwell and Bujold have wonderful chemistry and paint a portrait of profound, abiding love.

Watch Still Mine

Some Kind of Wonderful

Some Kind of Wonderful doesn’t have the same pop culture standing as other John Huges films like Sixteen Candles or Pretty in Pink. Still this remains a worthwhile entry into the Hughes canon on teenage love.

Movies

Celebrating John Hughes’ Sixteen Candles

By Carley Tauchert

Movies

The Bee: The $50 Million John Hughes Movie That Fell Apart

By Simon Brew

Keith Nelson (Eric Stoltz) is a high school outcast who has his eyes set on popular girl Amanda Jones (Lea Thompson). Thankfully he has his tomboyish Watts (Mary Stuart Masterson) to help court her. Based on that meager plot description, you may think you know where Some Kind of Wonderful is going to end up, and…you’re probably right. That doesn’t make the journey any less satisfying.

Watch Some Kind of Wonderful

To Catch a Thief

You know who would make a great romance film? The guy who did Psycho. Yes To Catch a Thief is a classic romance film from none other than Alfred Hitchcock. Of course, there’s a lot more going on in this heist thriller.

Cary Grant stars as retired cat burglar John Robie. When another burglar starts copying his act, Robie has to undergo One Last Job (TM) to catch…a thief. In the process John comes across the wealthy Frances (Grace Kelly) and the two strike up an unlikely romance for the ages.

Watch To Catch a Thief

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Hello, My Name is Doris

Between TBS’ Search Party and Hello, My Name is Doris, director Michael Showalter had a stellar 2016. Hello, My Name is Doris is a wonderfully sweet, equally tragic and completely hilarious romantic comedy. Sally Field stars as the titular Doris, a lively woman in her 60s who after the death of her mother becomes infatuated with a younger man.

Movies

Best Romantic Movies on Netflix

By Alec Bojalad

Movies

Best Romantic Movies on Hulu Right Now

By Alec Bojalad

With the help of cliched self-help materials she does whatever she can to get his attention. Hello, My Name is Doris is an empathetic romantic comedy that will change how you view age.

Watch Hello, My Name is Doris

Sabrina (1995)

Let’s get one thing out of the way right now. Sabrina‘s theatrical poster is dope. When I was a kid and I would pass the VHS cover in Blockbuster, I couldn’t help but think “Wow, that is a real adult movie.” At a young age, the mere sight of a woman’s lascivious red lipstick (lascivious in my head at least) was enough to fry my brain. Poster aside, however, Sabrina is an excellent romance with some real star power. It’s a remake of the 1954 film of the same name starring Billy Wilder and Audrey Hepburn.

This version was directed by the great Sydney Pollack and stars Harrison Ford, Greg Kinnear, and Julia Ormond. Weirdly enough Greg Kinnear plays the ultimate rich playboy while Harrison Ford plays his studious older brother. Weird casting choices but it works out alright thanks to each actor’s chemistry with Ormond.

Watch Sabrina

Ghost

Ghost is much more than just the reason you can no longer attend a pottery class without giggling. It’s a legitimately great sci-fi romance yarn. Patrick Swayze stars as Sam a banker who is killed by a mugger. Immediately post-death he discovers that he has become a ghost and can no longer directly interact with his girlfriend Molly (Demi Moore).

Sam sets out to solve his own murder and somehow reconnect with the woman he loves. Ghostcomes along with all the corniness of an early ’90s blockbuster but its central theme of love trying to achieve the impossible plays in any decade.

Watch Ghost

Brokeback Mountain

Longing is a crucial part of the formula in any romance movie and Brokeback Mountain has it in spades. Ang Lee’s 2005 film played a crucial role in bringing queer cinema to the mainstream and it did so by presenting mostly straight audiences with a universal depiction of love and passion – the kind of love that supersedes the norms and expectations of everything in your life to that point.

Heath Ledger and Jake Gylllenhaal star as 1960s Wyoming cowboys Ennis Del Mar and Jack Twist. While herding sheep on the Brokeback mountains, Jack makes a sexual pass at Ennis and the two begin a summer-long physical affair. The movie then follows the pair through the subsequent decades as they try to return to their “normal” lives, all the while unable to forget their time on Brokeback.

Watch Brokeback Mountain

Letter to Juliet

Somewhere along the way, Hollywood decided to let Amanda Seyfried become the queen of romantic comedies set in exotic locales…and that’s perfectly fine with us.

In Letters to Juliet, Seyfried stars as a New York fact checker Sophie on “pre-honeymoon” with her fiancé in Verona. There she learns of the phenomenon of “letters to Juliet” where women women bring love letters to Juliet Montague’s Verona courtyard. When Sophie answers a letter from 1957, she embarks on a decades-spanning journey of love and self-discover.y

Watch Letters to Juliet

What Men Want

Back in 2000, only one film had the distinction…nay, the courage of trying to figure out What Women Want. The answer, apparently, was Mel Gibson. We don’t talk about this movie that much.

Books

Which YA Romance Should Netflix Adapt Next?

By Kayti Burt

Books

Yesterday Is History: Meet the Latest Addition to the Time Travel Romance Genre

By Alana Joli Abbott

2019’s What Men Want is a loose remake of the earlier film. And it has something that the original never did: Taraji P. Henson! Henson stars as Ali Davis, a sports agent who gains the ability to read men’s minds after meeting a shaman. The movie puts Ali’s male-dominated profession to good use and in the process tells a nifty little romance story.

Watch What Men Want

There’s Something About Mary

More than two decades later, it’s still wild to see that above screenshot. Like, that ran in newspapers. It was on a poster! And if you don’t know why a photo of Cameron Diaz with a unique hairstyle is a big deal then you’ve likely not seen the Farrelly Brothers 1998 gross out classic There’s Something About Mary.

This is not so much a romance movie as it is an exploration of the pitfalls of attraction. Diaz stars as Mary Jensen…and there’s just something about her. Ben Stiller, Matt Dillon, Lee Evans, and Chris Elliott all play men who are helplessly in love with Mary and trying to win her affection. In the process, many injuries as sustained.

Watch There’s Something About Mary

Moulin Rouge!

If you like your romance with more than a dash of Baz Luhrmann saturated colors and big, sexy musical numbers then Moulin Rouge! is almost certainly the movie for you.

This 2001 film is set in 1900s Paris amid the Bohemian movement. When Christian (Ewan McGregor) falls in love with Moulin Rouge cabaret actress and courtesan Satine (Nicole Kidman), he must contend with her impending betrothal (or really sale) to the Duke of Montrose. As one might imagine, this is resolved with quite a bit of singing and dancing.

Watch Moulin Rouge!

Sylvie’s Love

Amazon Prime’s 2020 film Sylvie’s Love positively oozes jazz era atmosphere and tells a compelling, decades-spanning love story in the process.

Tessa Thompson stars as Sylvie Parker, a young woman who one day meets an aspiring saxophonist (played by Kerry Washington’s husband and former NFLer Nnamdi Asomugha) and in her father’s record shop in 1950s Harlem. This leads to sweeping romance that guides the pair through the era’s jazz music scene.

Watch Sylvie’s Love

The post Best Romantic Movies on Amazon Prime Right Now appeared first on Den of Geek.

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lost-in-sokovia · 4 years

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toxic - chapter 6

hiiiiii! i hope you enjoy this chapter! the reader’s relationship with ransom is expanding even more and i’m super excited to take this farther! (may contain spoilers to Knives Out)

Thanksgiving was fast approaching, and you had no idea how to handle the fact you were going to handle that family once again.

Ransom had been kind enough to keep you with him the few days leading up to it, just so you had some time to mentally preparing yourself. After the other night when you had began to break out of your shell, Ransom was convinced things were just going better and better for him. But in a sense, they weren’t; why did he like the way you laughed? Why was the way your eyes caught the light mesmerizing to him? Why did he feel like the two of you were back in boarding school?

This is all stupid, Ransom thought to himself. This shit wasn’t what he intended. He was just having a bit of wimpy nostalgia to how it was before, and nothing more than that. He wasn’t fifteen again and thinking you were cute. Ew, none of that. He just wanted something to keep his intrusive thoughts away at night for this holiday.

You found this just as a reblossoming friendship. What you had stumbled upon accidentally led to something that you could stick with. Though things seemed to have just progressed quickly over one night, that didn’t bother you. Ransom seemed to have changed over the years. Sure, he was still cocky, and from what you gathered from Jacob he was still a playboy. But did any of that really necissarily matter? He seemed like he cared and wanted to develop a relationship with you. Why not?

You, unlike him, never had feelings towards him.

“Hey Ransom,” you said as you laid on the couch one afternoon. He glanced over at you from his chair. “Have you ever seen a Disney movie, like, ever in your life?” you asked with a small laugh. He rolled his eyes.

“Oh my god,” he muttered playfully. “I invite you to my home and you’re gonna make me watch some goddamn baby movie?” He asked. You giggled and sat up to look at him.

“Please.”

“No.”

“Please.”

“No!”

“Ransom how have I never made you watch a movie during our years of friendship?” You inquired curiously. He scoffed with a smile.

“I’m pretty sure one time I let you show me a Disney movie in exchange for me showing you a horror movie,” he recalled. You nodded and breathed a small “ohhh.”

“I think I remember that,” you agreed. He nodded quietly and you looked down at your hands. That was before the two of you began to separate. He had found this movie via his new “friends” and was dying to show it to you.

“Aren’t you afraid of horror movies?” You asked in the darkness of his dorm. He scoffed.

“No, not since Kade and Mason showed it to me,” he said coolly. He played it off like he was the shit, when what he didn’t tell you was really those boys threatened to leave him if he didn’t watch it. You looked at him skeptically as he held “Carrie” in his hands.

“Ransom, I don’t know if this is the best idea...”

“Relax (Y/N),” he quoted Kade but used your name. “Why would I ever do anything to hurt you.”

Your nervous gaze pierced into him. That intimidated him, but he wouldn’t let you know that.

“‘Aladdin’ first, then yours,” you sighed reluctantly. He fist bumped the air and plopped down next to you.

“So...” you began after a moment. Ransom glared over at you with his blue eyes. “You’re saying you’d do it again?” you asked hopefully. He groaned and you cheered. “How does later tonight sound?” You asked as you stood up to stand in front of him.

“Nine sharp, and if you’re a minute late I won’t play the movie,” he ordered. You clapped and danced around, making your way back up to your room.

“Hell yeah!” You wooped as you walked up the stairs. Ransom shook his head but couldn’t help smile.

You’ve almost got her wrapped around your finger, Ransom’s thoughts began. He frowned. What’s going to happen when she leaves, Ransom? You can bet she’ll never want anything to do with you again. FOR REAL this time.

Ransom stood up and shook his head, walking over to the sink to drink some water. He thought about it though, what would happen once you left? After he got you to do what he wanted? What would he be left with after that?

He erased those thoughts from his head and sighed, walking up to his room to take care of a few things.

~•~•~

You called Claire as soon as you got back to your room. You were practically bouncing around as the phone rang.

“Hey girl!” Claire’s voice rang through the phone. You felt happy knowing she was still there to talk even though you two were still so far away.

“Hey Claire! What’s up?” You asked as you slowly walked around your room.

“Oh not much, I ended up at my moms for Thanksgiving,” she muttered in annoyance. You could hear yelling in Spanish in the background as you chuckled. Her mom was strict for sure, but she never failed to crack you up.

“Ohoho, how’s that working out?” You asked. You could picture Claire’s annoyed face and brown eyes filled with reluctance.

“All my brothers are here,” she said shortly. Claire was the middle child of five children. She had two older brothers and two younger brothers. Claire grew up in the Bronx so living in the main parts of NYC didn’t actually put her far away from her mother, but she didn’t like to think about that.

“What? No way!” You exclaimed. “I thought Bobby was staying in Florida this year?” You said.

“Well, he figured since everyone else was showing up that he had an obligation. Plus, Nikky is home from college so Bobby can’t pass up an opportunity to see his favorite brother,” she retorted. You shook your head, appalled.

“Damn,” you sighed. Claire cleared her throat.

“Anyway, how are you and Prince Charming?” She asked. You jumped a little.

“We’re doing really good, actually!” You exclaimed. “We got close again relatively quickly. We’re having a movie night tonight,” you added excitedly.

“Oh my god (Y/N)!” Claire squealed. You nodded quickly and twirled around. “This sounds like something a couple would do. Omg, do you think he’ll kiss you tonight?” She asked. You felt tingly inside as you did a double take.

“What? No! Claire, I’ve only been here two days!” You reasoned.

“But I thought you said things were going well,” Claire replied sadly.

You sighed. “I guess we’ll just have to wait and see...” you trailed off. You heard Claire’s mother yell something to her in Spanish.

“¡Aguanta, aguanta! un minuto mamá mi dios!” She shot back. You giggled. “I gotta go, my mom is about to have a meltdown if I don’t help her with cleaning,” she muttered.

“Alright girl, I’ll talk to you later,” you laughed. Claire said bye once more before hanging up the phone. You fell back onto your bed. Were you and Ransom really actually close enough again for him to do something like that? Probably not. Definitely not.

~•~•~•~•~

The moon shined down through the trees and streaks of light covered the floor of the house. The main lights were soon going to be turned off leaving only background lights, the two of you were going to depend on the TV as your main light source.

Ransom walked down from his room that night in his pajamas and scoffed with a grin. You had a huge bowl of popcorn prepared and pillows and blankets (both some of his and yours) set up neatly on the floor.

He glanced at his phone; 8:59PM.

He opened it up to go as far as to get to the exact second.

“Ten,” Ransom began to yell. He heard a yelp and a thud before running of feet. “Nine, eight, seven-”

“I’M COMING!” You yelled. He watched you almost trip down the stairs and breeze past him in pajamas of your own as he continued counting.

“-Four, three, two-“ You dove onto the couch. “One.” You smiled at you tried to catch your breath. He cocked an eyebrow and smiled at you. “Not as punctual as you used to be,” he observed. You shrugged with a smirk.

“Not as stuck up as I used to be,” you replied. He turned off the main lights and walked over and sat down next to you but at a comfortable distance. He didn’t want to get too close, that would be weird.

“So what will you be torturing me with tonight?” He asked as he stared at the TV. You grabbed the remote from in front of you and brought up Netflix. You grinned as you pulled up your feature film for the night. Ransom squinted.

“‘Princess and the Frog!’” You announced happily. He glared at you for a minute as you laughed, pulling your hair back into a ponytail. “C’mon,” you reasoned as you popped a piece of popcorn into your mouth. “It’ll be fun.”

“You know you really haven’t changed all that much,” Ransom told you as he took the remote and pressed play. You stuck your tongue out at him before directing your attention to the screen. Ransom briefly noticed how your eyes lit up with excitement before he turned his attention in the direction of yours.

~•~•~•~•~

After giving Ransom a short synopsis, laughing at Charlotte (your favorite character), gushing over how much you loved Naveen, singing along to many songs, and dancing to “Going Down the Bayou,” you were asleep on Ransom’s shoulder by the time Naveen was going to try and propose to Tiana on the steamboat.

Ransom didn’t mind, which surprised himself. He was genuinely caught up and interested in the film now (which he would never admit to you). So sure, maybe Disney can produce a decent movie. Fine. Whatever. Doesn’t mean all their movies are this good.

Ransom watched how nervous and fumbled Naveen was. He smirked, knowing he would do a way better job at proposing if he ever wanted to. But then he frowned, realizing how similar to Naveen he was; reckless, (handsome), a playboy, rich parents... No no, he wasn’t going to compare himself to a stupid cartoon character.

Then his mind wandered to the sleeping girl on his shoulder, and how similar she was to Tiana. She was stubborn, hard-working, kind, noble, and always willing to help out a friend.

Ransom completely zoned out until the movie was over. After he came back, he glanced down at you. Your eyes were still shut and your chest was still slowly raising and lowering with regulated breaths. He sighed; you weren’t going to be moving yourself.

He slowly moved and adjusted to where he could pick you up and carry you bridal-style to your bed. He slowly lifted you up and held you close to him. He made his way slowly to the stairs and looked down at you. He resisted his natural urge to smile and instead kept on track.

When he reached your room he gently set you down on your bed and pulled the blanket up on you. Your sleeping form shifted naturally into a more comfortable position and he grinned, shaking his head. He slowly back away and turned off the lights. The moon shined through the window onto the bed and lit up your form.

Ransom slowly closed the door and sighed, walking over to his room. He couldn’t possibly be going soft for you. He wouldn’t allow it.

~•~•~•~•~

You woke up the next morning a little later than usual. When you found yourself in your bed, you searched your brain for the slightest memory of waking up and moving.

But if you didn’t move yourself, then...

Your insides got all tingly and you threw the blanket over your blushing face. Did Ransom really move you? Oh my god...

You heard your phone ding and grabbed it off the nightstand.

(Y/N), how was movie night?? What happened? I need ALL the details!!

You read Claire’s text and groaned, laying it back down. You didn’t feel quite ready to answer that yet. You thought about how Ransom could have possibly reacted. Was that awkward for him? You probably looked DISGUSTING when you were asleep. You whined and dragged yourself out of bed, deciding that you couldn’t stay in your room forever.

~•~•~

You walked downstairs slowly and saw Ransom sitting on the couch by himself.

You creeped in and cleared your throat quietly. He turned around and glanced at you before turning back to the TV.

“H-Hey,” you said awkwardly as you stood behind the couch. He didn’t reply. You felt choked up until you glanced at the screen he was staring at. “Is that... ‘Tangled’?” You asked.

“Turns put your movie didn’t absolutely suck,” he said with a smirk. You shook your head and walked around to sit with him. You two watched in silence for a moment before Ransom spoke up again. “So did that movie last night really bore you that bad?” He asked sarcastically. You knew what he meant and turned red, laughing slightly to try and cope.

“Oh- haha, I uhm- sorry, I-“ You fumbled. He put his hand on your shoulder and you met his blue gaze.

“You’re fine.” He smiled. Your heart jumped and you nodded slowly.

Goddammit, you thought. he was putting some sort of spell on you. You knew you couldn’t let that happen.

Shit, Ransom thought. You were doing something to him and he didn’t know what. How could he let his plan begin to fail like this?

The two of you could never be more than friends, that would be toxic for the both of you.

look. did this chapter really contribute to anything? maybe. was it fluffy? yes. did this give reader and ransom’s relationship an opportunity to grow? yes. so i guess it did contribute overall. i hope you liked this chapter, the tension is beginning to grow and things are ramping up even more. chapter 7 will be out soon!💛

taglist:

@heyiamthatbitch @mcuclintasha @captainsmallassrogers @fangirlinacoffeeshopweshare @anisiamoisa @awesomelittledemarco03 @aletteredaffair @castellandiangelo @theangrylizard @frencchfries @takemetooneverlanddd @sp2900 @smilexcaptainx @monpetitcoin21 @marymoon18 @mccunted @iamapersonwholikesunicorns @chuuulip @sweetlittlegingy @lookalivefrosty @brookebradford @patzammit @stucky-is-life-thank-you @bval-1 @need-more-time @blowfishevans @polarcrystall @little-dark-empress @rosalynshields @asianbuttcheek @dailythotdotcom @topstory21 @canny1902 @alexxcorona113 @what-inspirational-name @summer-may @abbyalee @littlefiercequeen @stardancerluv @oncemorewithfeelingg @sophiealiice @snowxbarryxendgame @lilwickedred

#ransom drysdale fanfiction #ransom drysdale x you #ransom drysdale x reader #ransom drysdale #ransom thrombey x reader #ransom thrombey imagine #ransom thrombey x you #hugh ransom drysdale #knives out #knives out fanfic #chris evans #chris evans x reader #chris evans imagine #chris evans fanfiction

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soundrooms · 3 years

Text

Soundrs: Cyprus Fuel

My name is Alexander, I’m releasing music as Cyprus Fuel (solo project), Moonshots (together with Tim aka flingu) and Wow & Flutter (together with Ole aka Treetime Music). I run a label called UltraBold Records and a tumblr blog called Soundrooms. My profession is graphic design, my passion is music making.

➜ Visit Fuelstagram

➜ Visit Spotyfuel

➜ Visit UltraBold Records

➜ INSTANT KARMA BOOST

Why do you make music?

Out of boredom or frustration. I get frustrated when I’m not bored enough to make music. I started making electronic music just to entertain myself.

What are your inspiration sources?

Listening to new music inspires me, new hard- or software inspires me, learning about new audio production tricks inspires me. Anything new inspires me!

Tell us something about your workflow.

I don’t like using presets, so most of the time I start with trying to get a cool sound out the music equipment I got. Lots of gear came and went; these days im using a Teenage Engineering OP-Z, Pocket Operator tonic, a computer with NI Reaktor, Ableton Live and Push 2.

How would creative rituals benefit your workflow?

I think it’s important to make music with a relaxed mind so anything that reduces the noise of everyday life is beneficial for creativity. I need to set up a space where I can single task on making music only. It’s also important to keep an open mind and excite all senses. Don’t let the daily grind dull you down. I find sport in nature and deep breathing helpful.

How do you get in the zone?

When I’m alone I like to make music very late when I’m sleepy. In that state the zone is right around the corner. Except for my annual mushroom trip I don’t use any consciousness altering substances anymore. I like to breathe in deeply through my nose—that’s a rush!

How do you start a track?

Ideally I would create a folder on my desktop, give it an arbitrary name, a tempo and a scale. Then I’d start filling it up with sound design samples from various sources, just the synths and tools I feel like using that day. I’ll create a sound and put it through FX. I’ll record whatever comes out. That way I create sounds which are my own. When I feel like I got enough material together, I’ll start a fresh Ableton project set to that tempo and that scale, throw the samples into Push and start building a groove with 4, 8 or 16 bars. If the groove is to my liking, I’ll start arranging. Changing things up and making it interesting. It tends to get pretty weird and experimental sometimes. But that’s okay because it’s my expression. I like to make music that satisfies me, not an audience.

More often than not though I’ll start with the cheesiest chord progression that I can come up with, add a simple four on the floor house drumbeat and develop things from there. The simpler the better. Same goes for graphic design by the way, start with a triangle and Helvetica and take things from there : )

Do you have a special template?

I have an improvisation template for experimentation, with various synths and effects, ready to go. Otherwise I always keep a limiter (Ableton stock) and spectrum analyzer (ditto) on the master bus. The limiter makes sure that I don’t brick my speakers through any loud experimentation!

What do you put on the master channel?

If I master a demo I start with an EQ for high (~16k Hz) and low cut (~30 Hz), a glue compressor to catch peaks, a litte dynamic tube, a little OTT, another compressor for the final gain and a saturator. At the very end is a loudness meter, I try to hit 12 LUFS average.

How do you arrange and finish a track?

This is the part where I struggle with the most. Sometimes arrangement can be easy, fluid and fast, many times I get stuck on an 8 bar loop for hours. It can help to stretch out the 8 bars for several minutes and substract, or just re-record the master output and jam the track out for fun. The best music is made with feeling, not with thought. Another trick is to import a song from another artist and copy the structure.

How do you deal with unfinished projects?

I let em sit on my hard drive and revisit from time to time. I’ll try to find the element that’s most engaging in the project. Then I’ll try and build a new structure around that element or simply bounce it to audio and store it as a sample for later use.

How do you store and organize your projects?

My projects move through various stages through folders which I’ve set up like this:

• Ideas

• In Progress (Arrangement)

• 90 % (Mixing & Pre-Mastering)

• Finished (Demos & Releases)

How do you take care of studio ergonomics?

I have to mindsets: seriousness and fun.

In fun mode I can sit down or lay or stand anywhere and entertain myself with sound creation. Whether it be jamming on a bench or meadow outside with friends, alone with headphones on a train or simply in pyjamas on the couch with the OP-Z in front of me or the MacBook on my lap. In that mode I care about exploration and process and not about results or ergonomics.

In serious mode I want to achieve a goal like mixing or arrangement. This is where I’ll sit down in my humble studio. I’m very paranoid and frustrated a lot of the time about the way my music sounds. I’m always making adjustments, optimizing my listening situation. The next improvement is going to be a subwoofer. Room treatment is key for confident mixing!

Tell us something about your daily routine, how is your day structured, how do you make room for creativity?

I work as a freelance graphic designer so I’m in the lucky position to be able to structure my daily life how I want to. On a perfect day, I’ll wake up pretty early, fool around with my outrageously young girlfriend until she has to leave for her job, get up for a cup of coffee, do some body exercises, spend an hour playing video games or reading a couple of pages in a book to jumpstart my brain. I’ll then check the computer for correspondence and design duties. In the afternoon, I’ll go outside for sport and fresh air. After dinner I tend to get bored or frustrated and start up Ableton. I’m an introvert so I don’t have the need to socialize that much. In that regard the pandemic situation doesn’t affect me all that much, I feel. I don’t subscribe to Netflix or consume mass media to any degree. I like to play city walking videos on YouTube, for ambiance.

Share a quick producing tip.

Start from INIT. Play around with knobs and buttons until something interesting starts to happen. Begin simple, become complex.

Share a link to an interesting website (doesn’t have to be music related).

➜ http://radio.garden/

List ten sounds you are hearing right this moment : )

cars passing by outside

Cargo mix #043

keyboard typing

my breathing

my feet moving around on the floor

I can hear my thoughts

I can hear your thoughts

from a thousand miles away

if you think the same as me

we’ll both get an echo.

Thanks for reading. Stay wonderful y’all!

#soundrs #cyprus fuel #interview #workflow #inspiration #creativity #producers #producer #audio production #music producers #music #musician #electronic music #body positive #fitspo

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butterflydreaming-writes-fic · 4 years

Text

“And the One Time They Did”

“And the One Time They Did“ by Looks-Clear (that’s me, yo!)

Word Count: about 3,400 Rating: Gen

@sweetness47, here is my gift to you for the Profound Bond Discord gift exchange! I hope you actually find it amusing. This is a “five times plus one time” fic, and since that’s such a well-used trope, I thought it would be funny to title each of the sections with an AO3 tag.

-o-

1. “that trope where it's a relationship told from an outsider's point of view”

The money is good, but the competition for gigs means that you take that delivery order even though it’s to a house way outside of town. Houses are good, though. Around here, that means honeymoon tourists and vacation renters, which might mean a better tip. “J. Page” is waiting for his order from Great Greens, so you pick up the bags from Yolanda’s new salad cafe and head out in your Jeep onto the river road.

The house is secluded on the less popular side of the river, off the narrow road that splits from the main. You don’t even see the black Chevy Impala parked along the side of the house until you’ve driven to the end of the tree-lined driveway. The two-story house is the kind of place you would love to live in if you wanted a lot of privacy. It’s well cared for to attract the short-term renters your town gets all summer. The house has a good roof, freshly painted siding, and healthy potted plants around the door you’re knocking on.

An upstairs window slides open with a thunk. Taking a step away from the door, you look up.

“Oh, hey.” The man leaning out the window has a smile that immediately puts you at ease. The frame catches at his flannel shirt, exposing a flash of skin above his faded jeans. He’s tall, with long hair, and the breadth of his shoulders make you glad you took the delivery job. “Would you mind… there’s a kitchen door at the back of the house. I’ll be down in a sec.” He pulls back in before you can respond.

You hesitate, thinking about the seclusion of the house and potential danger, but your gut tells you it’s OK. Nothing about the house or the classic car gives you that red flag feeling. The sun isn’t down yet. Plus, your holding an order of salads and cheesy rolls, Yolanda knows you’re delivering them and to where, and you can’t imagine it’s the dinner order of a creeper.

Things are a little unexpected when you get to the back door, though. The tall man — and he really is tall, six-four you guess — is pulling the curtain away from the window beside the kitchen door, but the door remains closed. “I have your Great Greens,” you say, lifting your two hands. You glance at the receipt and tell him the total. The food was paid with a credit card. You’re starting to despair about your tip, the line left blank to fill in.

“Great! Thanks. We really appreciate it,” he says, from the other side of the window glass.

There’s a dog door in the house door. The man disappears from the window and the door flap lift up. An envelope flips out. The man appears at the window again.

“If you could, um, put the order through the flap?” he asks.

“You don’t want to open the door?” Gingerly, you poke the dog door inward and push the bags through one at a time. The envelope turns out to have a few bills in it, a nice cash tip. You straighten up again and dust your hands off on your jeans after folding the envelope and tucking it into your pocket.

He laughs. It’s a breathy laugh, embarrassed. He ducks his head. “Can’t,” he says. “We’re, uh, sort of under quarantine.”

A surprised “Oh!” comes out of you before you can stop yourself. You wonder who else is with him in the house.

He’s quick to reassure you. “It’s not contagious. We just can’t leave the house yet.” He gives you one of those quick smiles again. The effective is magnified from being eye level and within three feet of him. You're a little glad there’s a window between you for protection.

“Thanks again,” he says.

“No problem,” you answer. With a small wave, you start back around to the front of the house, and your Jeep, only glancing back for a moment. The tall man is turning toward others entering the kitchen.

Before the curtain closes, you glimpse two other adults. You can hear them plainly through the window. A deep voice is at first excited about the meals. But then, suddenly:

“Sonoffabitch! SAM! What is this? Salad? Where’s the real food!?”

Back at your Jeep, just as a precaution, you rub your hands with the lavender scented hand sanitizer you keep in the glove box.

2. “(in my head the reader is a female but i didnt specify ir anywhere so ye)”

It’s Friday and a busy night, but when you see the delivery request come up for that same address, you take it. This time it’s for burgers from Jen’s Magnificent, which is locally famous for the MegaBurger, a four-patty monster with the works. You’re not surprised when the bags are heavy with three megas, fries and onion rings. What else would anyone order from Jen’s? The name on the credit card slip is “S. Denny.” You are wondering if the hot tall guy knows he’s not getting any veggies that aren’t deep fried.

Of course, you can guess what happened, and when it’s a different man at the front picture window asking you to go around to the back of the house, your guess is confirmed. The one with the deep voice is tall too, not as tall and not as lean, but still with nice muscle structure and also in a flannel shirt. Brothers, probably. You can see some familial resemblance.

As with the first delivery, you meet him at the back window. It’s earlier than last time and still full light out. He’s pretty anxious for the food, bouncing a little on his feet as he waits for you to slide the burger bags through the dog door.

You can’t help yourself. “Where’s the other guy?"

"Which?"

You pass the food through, straighten up and assess him. The cute one. Your brother?”

The man is already into one of the burgers. He shoves it in his face — you can’t take a bite out of a mega, you pretty much have to smash it into your mouth — and the moan he produces is, frankly, pornographic. This is a man who loves juicy meat.

You kind of want to leave him alone to it.

“The cute one," he repeats with a snort. He wipes a napkin across his mouth. "Researching,” he answers you, chewing on a mouthful. “This burger is awesome. Have you had these?”

“Actually, yeah. She makes good shakes, too.”

“This is going on my list of best burger towns,” he states. The burger disappears and when his hands are free, he wipes them on a fresh napkin. “You a local?”

You nod. He asks you a few odd questions about the town, a little bit about the history, and some information about how often tourists come through. You end up talking about your Jeep Renegade and auto maintenance, which helpfully gives you some points to go over with Roxy at the garage.

You’re back an hour later with another delivery from Great Greens, a single kale salad. You’re not surprised. The cute one is happy to see you. That's nice.

3. “Spells in general. Just spells and spells and spells”

You’ve come to think of yourself as their personal delivery person, to be honest, and it’s not only because J. Page aka Sam is a bright spot any time day or night. Feeling bold one evening, you scribble your phone number on the receipt and tell Sam, “If you guys need anything like from the grocery store or whatever, just call me. Anytime is fine.”

You’re snuggled on your couch watching Netflix when you actually get a late night call from Sam. He sounds apologetic and, weirdly, a little drunk. “Hi… Hi!” he greets a little breathlessly. “This might be a lot to ask but if you meant it about the help, I… we need someone on the outside to get these things. They’re going to sound strange, but I can’t explain what they’re for. Is that OK?”

“Does it,” you ask, “have to be right now?”

“Please, yes,” he says, words breathed out like an exasperated sigh. “I don’t know if I can take close quarters with these two past another moon cycle.” He clears his throat. “Sorry, uh. It has to be tonight because of the first quarter.” He names off some flowers, and then tells you the last one has to be picked after midnight and before dawn.

You actually have some of the list in your kitchen, dried, though it's not fresh. “The rest I can get, but I don’t know where to find that,” you tell him.

“Come to the house. It’s in the garden.”

And that’s how you end up picking lemon verbena by flashlight, in a hoodie and pajama pants, while Sam watches you from the kitchen window and points out the plants he needs. He’s glossy-eyed in the way of someone who’s had more booze than a few drinks at dinner, and pushing himself to act sober like someone who was drinking for a reason.

When you hand over the jasmine and vervain, he’s sitting on the floor at the other side of the door. You catch the dog flap on the backswing and hold it open. “Is that enough? I can get the other stuff fresh from Dara’s tea store tomorrow.”

He leans down to see you better through the opening and keeps going until he’s lying sideways on the floor. He seems vaguely surprised that the world has gone horizontal. “This is what I need to get started,” he pronounces carefully. He seems to consider getting upright. Instead, he rolls over onto his back. His hair, long and silky, flops beside his head, except for an errant lock that lays across his forehead. His beard is growing in, and the mountain man thing really works for him. He looks like he might nod off right there, lying on the floor.

“So… what are you doing, casting a love spell or something?”

He groans. “Those idiots activated one. I’m trying to…” he lifts a hand and makes a serpentine gesture in the air with his finger, “wiggle open a loophole. So we can leave. And Dean can stop punching holes in the walls looking for hex bags.” He wakes up more fully and sits up suddenly. Running a hand through his hair, he laughs. There’s a tint of panic to it.

You can see that he’s about to dissemble about what he said, so you cut him off with a change of topic. “I knew the lady that used to live here. When I was a kid, we called it the witch’s house. She had, uh, twenty cats.”

“This is a dog door,” he points out.

“I know, right?” You smirk. “Do you like dogs?”

“I do,” he says without elaboration. “Can you tell me anything else about this house? Past owners?”

He’s sobering up. You answer with a shrug. “I mean. It’s a rental now. As you know, obviously.”

“A lot of strangers come through town? Have you noticed anyone that stands out? People you know, acting out of character? Has anyone been sick with an unexplainable illness?”

“We get summer tourists, mostly.”

“Anyone weird?”

“We are the weirdos, mister.” You ease the door flap closed. “I’ll bring the rest of your list when you guys order dinner tomorrow,” you say. It’s late, and you need to go home.

4. “Destiel are lowkey pining in the background”

Mylene adds in a cellophane bag of shortbread with the pie order. The scents in the bakery make you wish you were taking pie home for yourself, but no, this French Apple, ordered by “John Paul Jones,” is heading to the house you’ve been delivering to all week. On the nights when you don’t have an order, they order pizza delivery, it turns out. Pia, who owns Ristorante Raduno, mentioned it when you were fulfilling your craving for her incredible lasagna. Piggybacking on the pie order is a double side of bacon that you pick up from Dee's diner.

You honk when you pull up to the house, knock at the front door, then walk to the back yard per the usual. The Impala has enough dust on it to dull the black finish, and that strikes you as evidence that they really aren’t leaving the house. It was clear when you where conversing with him that burger guy loves his “Baby”. He wouldn’t let that car languish, getting covered in tree leaves and windblown dirt.

“You must be Mr. Jones,” you say to the new face at the kitchen window. “Are there any more of you in there or is three your crowd?”

“You’ve met the other two,” he says. He doesn’t exactly smile, but his eyes are kind, deep blue and full of unspoken thoughts. He has a voice like someone after a night of loud singing and drinking. It doesn’t match his appearance. Not with the suit ensemble including the trench coat he is inexplicably wearing indoors.

“I guess pie and bacon is your thing?” you ask, covering a laugh, and pop the bakery box through the dog door. He takes the box once it has passed the threshold. "Whatever makes you happy." You hear his “thank you” before the dog door swings closed.

“The pie is for —” he catches himself. “Sandy.” He was about to say a name that started with D, you’re sure of it. Dean, you recall, from Sam’s slip up. “He likes pie. And bacon.” He stares at the pie as if it is about to impart hidden wisdom. "It makes him happy."

Your tip was included when the bakery was paid, so you don’t have a reason to linger, but you do anyway, curious. “This lockdown is hitting him hard, isn’t it? Not being able to take his car out for a drive?”

He gives a helpless little micro-shrug, but concern shows on his face. You think you see some guilt there, too. What had Sam said about it, that “those idiots” had activated the spell?

“Look, I know it’s none of my business, but…” you hesitate, just for a minute. “Pie is good and all, and that pie is really good, but words are good, too?” His piercing attention actually makes you take a step back. You break eye contact, kicking the brick paving at your feet with the toe of your shoe. “Saying your feelings instead of, um, eating them?” You’ve probably blown it, so you scram without a backward look.

5. “Pray for Sam”

You glare at your phone until you wake up enough to recognize the text as Sam’s. Then you stare at it, trying to make sense of what it says. Meet him? The coffee hut he’s talking about is at the edge of town. It’s the one thing open at this time of day, since Tena is one of those disgusting morning people.

When you get there, you see that Sam is one of those disgusting morning people, too. His hair may have been tied back during his run, but now it’s loose. The sweaty and wild thing works for him even better than the mountain man look. He’s shaved the beard. You hop out of the Jeep and stroll up to where he is doing some stretches. He straightens up and shakes the hair out of his face.

“You’re out of quarantine,” you say.

He answers your smile with his own. His eyebrows go up when he smiles. “You helped. With those herbs you picked, and everything else. I wanted to say thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” you formally reply. “I notice you got out of that house as early as possible this morning.”

When he rolls his eyes, you have your confirmation. “Ha ha, yeah,” he answers. “Gotta, you know, have some space. From the lovebirds,” he adds with a sound that is part relief and part exasperation.

“Are you getting coffee?”

“I’m picking some up to take back,” he says. “No rush on that.”

“Tena makes a mean superfood smoothie.” You gesture at the espresso hut. “Would you like to get smoothies, go sit by the river, and watch the ducks? Until you’re ready to head back to the house?”

6. “If you think this has a happy ending... you're right well done you”

You figure, that’s it, good-bye, they’re gone, the three that were trapped by the spell on the house. Either Sam figured out how to loosen the spell long enough for them to exit, or burger guy and pie guy hooked up and completed the spell’s requirement. You couldn’t exactly talk about it with Sam, while you sat by the water and drank your breakfast smoothies. You’re pretty sure that he knows you were giving them hints, really vague hints but still hints, but it’s not like you could ask if he knows, even now that the spell is broken.

They’re not gone yet, as you find out when Kitty from the General Store asks you to run a delivery out to the house. You stop by the General Store to pick up the bag. It’s heavy with an assortment of stuff indicating wall repair: sandpaper, drywall patch kits, a paint tray and paint roller. They’ve paid with a credit card again, a tip included.

You text Sam to let him know you’re the one bringing their supplies, and ask if they need anything else, which is how you end picking up another pie and a trio of sandwiches. When you get to the house, you see that all the windows and doors are open. Sam is sitting in the Impala with his long legs sprawling out of the open car door. He puts down a book when he sees you get out of your Jeep.

“Let me get that. Must be heavy, sorry,” he says.

“Could be worse. Megaburgers, or cans of paint.”

His hair slides over his ears as he shakes his head. “My brother found paint in the attic, at least.”

“I’m glad this is ending with some DIY, instead of you burning the place down or something,” you say without thinking. “It’s usually newlyweds that stay here. We’re a quiet community.”

He gives you an assessing look.

You hand him the bag from the hardware store. You hand him the food, too, before he steps into the house. You hate to see him go, but watching him walk away? That’s worth the price of admission.

He yells up the stairs that food has arrived. In a minute, the other two guys come down, both suspiciously dusty on their backsides and elbows, both looking stupidly happy. Dean puts his arm around his sweetheart’s waist. Pie guy leans in and blesses Dean with a soft kiss. Pie guy must be Castiel, the angel.

The infamous Winchesters. As hunters go, they don’t seem all that bad.

Like every other kid that grew up in your town, you know how the house spell works. The couples that honeymoon here don’t even notice when they get locked in, and they usually break the spell within minutes with their easy “I love you”s. Castiel and Dean were in love but must not have said the words to each other, yet, when they entered the house, and Sam was caught as a bystander.

You slip away before they catch you watching, get in your Renegade, and head out to the main road. At first, it had seemed like everyone’s bad luck, that some travel blogger had written about the weird little house in an idyllic riverside tourist town, and that particular trio had come to check it out. Your town has been a quiet haven for witches since before you were born.

In the end, it turned out OK. Better than OK. Who doesn’t like a happily ever after?

-o-

#profound bond gift exchange: quarantine & chill #pbgiftexchange #profoundnet #sam winchester/reader #supernatural #destiel #fluff #5+1 things

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